#my old married/divorced/engaged couple

[coff33andb00ks]

Hazy Days - LN

summary: summer fling, don't mean a thing pairing: lando norris x divorced!reader word count: 3.6k warnings: non-explicit smut (mdni), older woman a.n.: fuck quadrant's summer scope vids song: summer nights from Grease

You're doing it again. It's been over a year now and you're still rubbing your ring finger with your thumb. You're not as quite as surprised when you don't feel the rings, and when you look down you're relieved to see that the pale patch of skin has disappeared. I've got to buy a ring, you think. Because, despite everything, you still feel weird without a ring on that finger.

You give your head a shake. The marriage is over. It was over before it officially began, but the divorce has been finalized for almost a month. The settlement is in your account – it's how you're paying for this spontaneous trip.

You're no longer a married woman. A terrifying thought, even now, when your entire identity for nearly 10 years was wife. And now…

Now you don't know what you are.

So you packed a bag, bought a plane ticket on a whim, and now you're at some seaside hotel in the south of France. You're looking out at the people on the beach, and further out at the yachts dotting the Mediterranean.

A place you've always wanted to visit and now you're frozen in the hotel room, scared to death that you won't enjoy it. Like a decadent dessert you've thought about all day that tastes like an old candy bar when you finally get a bite. Like the new Louboutin pumps you'd wanted for your birthday two years ago that had pinched your toes and you haven't worn since.

You've built this up in your head and now you're afraid it won't live up to your expectations.

Babes, enjoy it. This is gonna be so healing for you.

Your best friend's words ring in your mind and you reach for the phone to call her for more reassurance, then remember the time difference. She loves you, but she won't appreciate a phone call this early unless it's an emergency.

"God, get over it. You're not the only newly divorced woman in the world," you mutter to yourself, turning away from the window to finish dressing. You want to do some exploring, get plenty of photos to share, maybe find a few souvenirs.

Your thumb slides over your ring finger as you exit the hotel a little while later and you sigh, turning back to ask the concierge of a nice jewelry store. When you tell him you're interested in purchasing a ring, he knows the perfect place and soon you're on your way, strolling along the winding streets.

The afternoon sun is hot and you breathe a sigh of relief once you step into the shop. The interior or hushed and you're aware of the clerks' eyes all moving to you. A couple young men at the counter are chatting and laughing, not paying attention to you at all, and you venture further into the shop.

The men are looking at bracelets, and a smartly dressed clerk is more than happy to show you the rings, leading you to a low counter and inviting you to sit in the cushioned chair.

"Oh… No, not anything like a wedding or engagement ring," you say as a tray of sparkling diamond rings is brought out. "I… I recently got divorced and I need something to replace my rings. Something that looks nothing like a wedding ring?"

From behind you, you can hear the two men murmuring, their English accents oddly comforting after three days of hearing only French voices. You finally narrow the selection down to two and are trying to decide when movement out the corner of your eye snags your attention.

It's one of the men, peering at necklaces. You steal a glance at him – handsome, well dressed, a head of dark curls – and look back at the rings when he turns his head, embarrassed to be caught looking.

You're focusing on the rings, trying them on and testing out how they feel against your thumb, when he speaks.

"I think the other one looks better."

Jerking your head up, you find yourself looking into a pair of brilliant green eyes.

It's so fucking unfair that his lashes are so pretty.

"Do you?" you ask, looking back at the rings.

"Yeah – unless you want something flashy?"

He's moved close enough you can smell his cologne.

He even smells divine. So fucking unfair.

You switched rings and nodded. "Flashy isn't really me… I'll take this one," you tell the clerk.

The man smiles. "Getting used to a ring?"

"Ah… No," you chuckle. "Can't get used to not having one."

His smile dies and a look of panic flashes over his face. "Um… Sorry?"

You almost laugh. Giving your head a shake, you watch the clerk wrap the ring and wait for her to return. "Don't be."

"Oh," he murmured, smile returning and sliding into a grin. "Congratulations, then."

This time you do laugh. "Thanks."

He gives you a look as the clerk returns, and before you can reach for your wallet he's already handing over his card. You open your mouth to protest but he tips his head. "A congratulations gift," he insists.

His friend approaches, giving you a friendly nod. "What are we congratulating?"

You smile weakly. "The end of my marriage."

"Divorce?" he asks. When you nod, he smirks. "The best thing about marriage, honestly."

"Max."

"What am I supposed to say?" Max protests, holding up his hands.

The first man groans. "You're such a – cheers," he says when the clerk brings his card back. "Let's go before you embarrass me even more."

You're smiling at their banter as you thank the clerk for her assistance. When you stand to make your way out, he's waiting near the door.

"Buy you a drink?" he offers as he opens the door for you.

His name is Lando. Max – pain in my ass – is obviously his best friend and doesn't join you for drinks as he's got to get packed up to leave. When you suggested Lando spend time with him before he goes home, Lando waved it off.

"He lives in England but I see him all the time."

Lando, it turns out, does not live in England. He looks almost embarrassed when you ask where he lives, and when he finally mutters that he lives in Monaco your eyes widen. Surely he's too young to be that well off?

Trust fund, probably. Now you don't feel so bad for his paying for the ring.

"That must be… Interesting," you say, taking a sip of your drink. He's brought you to a chic bar at the beach, and you're sitting on the upper terrace, the slowly sinking sun casting a golden glow over the water.

"I don't really get much time there." He fiddles with the stirrer in his drink. "I'm gone a lot."

Interest piqued, you set your glass down. "Oh?" Maybe he's a model, even if he is a little on the short side. Not that he's that short – he's definitely taller than you. "What do you do?"

"I drive cars." He ducks his head briefly. "Racecars."

"Really? I'm not… I'm a dumb American, the only racing I really know is the Indy 500?"

He laughs, shaking his head. "That's IndyCar."

You listen, fascinated, as he tells you about formula one, which you have heard about but it's not in your orbit. He seems both relieved and amused at the fact you're not into sports, and you can feel him relax as he laughs when you tell him you only watch the Super Bowl every year so you can eat a ton of junk food.

A drink turns into a few, and he's so nice to listen to, so easy to talk to. When he suggests dinner, you hesitate. You don't want to be that woman, newly divorced and falling into bed with the first man that looks at you. Especially one so young—

"How old are you?" you blurt.

It obviously surprises him and, though he was halfway out of his seat he sank back down. "How old are you?"

You refuse to play coy, to fish for compliments like you're desperate. "I'm thirty."

His eyebrows lift. "Twenty-four."

So not that young. More like… younger.

Lando gives you a smile. "Does that cancel dinner?"

You look into his eyes for a long moment then glance out at the view. There's an obvious fork in the road in front of you. One leads to something with this handsome racecar driver, and you have a feeling it's going to be more than dinner. The other leads to the rest of your solo vacation, with the cloud of what could be lingering. Looking at him again, you slowly breathe in.

Expensive cologne. Salt air.

"I'd love dinner," you say, and his smile rivals the setting sun.

You'll never be able to describe the meal you ate. Lando makes it nearly impossible to focus on anything but him. Not in a demanding way. He's just… Magnetic. He tells you stories about his career, about embarrassing moments and highs and lows and talks about his other ventures. How does he have time to sleep? He talks glowingly about Max and has you giggling into your wine over a story of the two of them getting into trouble that left Lando locked out of his parents' home. When he apologizes for talking so much you almost beg him to not stop. But he asks about you, and you can't help thinking he seems genuinely interested.

"My life isn't half as interesting as yours," you say with a shake of your head.

"I don't know… You're divorced, halfway around the world, having dinner with a strange guy. Seems interesting to me," he murmurs.

"Oh, it's a tale as old as time. Girl meets boy, girl falls in love and gives up everything… Girl becomes a woman, boy becomes a toad."

Lando winced. "No kissing to turn him into a prince?"

"He'd have to want the kiss for that to happen."

"What a fucking idiot," Lando says.

You tilt your head to the side. "For being a toad?"

"For not wanting your kiss."

You set your glass down with a surprised gulp. About to call him out for feeding you a line, you pause, seeing the glimmer in his eyes. Without thinking you lick your lips and see his gaze dip down briefly. You don't know what to say or how to react so you sit there, unable to refrain from thinking about how a kiss from Lando would feel.

"His loss." Lando's voice was barely above a murmur. Then, shockingly, his cheeks darken and his tongue darts over his lips. He looks down at his plate and you can hear his sigh before he looks up, his expression serious. "You gave up everything?"

"A slight exaggeration, really." You shrug, picking at your food. "I had dreams that I put on hold to help him achieve his."

"I've never been married. But, like…" He sighs, setting his fork down. "That doesn't seem fair?"

"Life isn't—"

"I know, but marriage isn't life is it?" His face screws up at that but he forges ahead. "Isn't the whole point of it to support and help each other achieve their dreams?"

Smiling sadly, you nod. "I thought it was. He thought different."

"What dreams did you put on hold?" he asks after a moment.

"I wanted to get published." You look down at your half-eaten food. "When I was a kid, I loved reading and making up stories… I was studying for my degree in English – I planned to teach writing while working on my novels, because it's hard to make money doing it at first, and… Now it's too late."

"Why do you say that?"

"I'd have to go back to school and—"

"Yeah? Would you have to start over completely?"

"No." You can't remember how many credit hours you have left, but it would only take a phone call or an email to find out. "I wasn't too far from my degree."

"Then what's stopping you?" he challenged softly.

You don't have an answer. Nothing but the fear of failing, and you don't know him well enough to admit that.

"I don't read." He winces a bit at the admission. "Dyslexic, yeah? It's a miracle I finished school. But anyway. You write a novel and I promise to read it."

A smile pulls at your lips. "You'd do that for me? Someone you don't even know?"

"Of course." He grins. "I believe in supporting the arts."

He drives you back to the hotel in his sleek sportscar and for once you understand the allure of a purring engine and soft leather seats. There's no impending pressure when he offers to see you to your room, only the heat of his hand at the small of your back and the enticing scent of his cologne.

At your door, he hesitates. "Can I kiss you?"

Has anyone ever asked your consent for a kiss? You don't think so and the realization makes you sad, but you push that away because you've wanted him to kiss you since halfway through dinner.

His lips are a lighted match to kindling. The heat and desire are immediate and you're leaning into him, frightened by the strength of your want but craving more. It's been an embarrassingly long time since you've felt this way and you're aware that it may be even longer before you feel it again. So when the door finally clicks open you don't hesitate to step inside, pausing and reluctantly breaking the kiss to look up at him.

And wish you'd googled how to invite a man into your hotel room without sounding desperate.

But you don't have to ask.

"Okay to come in?" he whispers.

"God yes," you gasp.

His lips are on yours before the door closes behind him. Wrapping your arms around him, you sink into the kiss, snatching in breaths as his hands cradle your head. A soft whine is muffled against his tongue as you grip the front of his shirt, knees nearly forgotten as the tenderness of his touch wars the ferocity of his kiss.

"Fuck," he mumbles against your lips, his hands beginning to wander, molding you closer against him, his breath hitching as he clutches your hips. He pulls his head back slightly and you can feel his harsh breathing as he stares at you before crashing his lips to yours again.

The need grows stronger, almost primal, and you're backing towards the bed, gasping as his hands pull at your dress, nearly ripping it. Craving the feel of his skin, you do the same to his shirt, barely noticing the trail of clothing on the floor, too focused on his touch and his smell and the decadence of his kiss. He guides you down, swallowing your gasp as your bare skin touches the cool sheets.

Breaking the kiss with a harsh moan, he braces his hands on either side of you and lifts up slightly. He's panting, lips parted, and he gives a soft chuckle of surprise. "I didn't plan on this."

You lick your lips, still tasting him. And only craving more. "Neither did I."

He blinks, eyes almost wild as they dart from yours to your lips and back again. And all you can think—

Beautiful. Breathtakingly so. You know it'll never happen but the romantic inside you wishes you could wake up to his eyes every morning.

He leans down, and his kiss sends every coherent thought away. His skin is warm beneath your fingers, his hair softer than you thought it would be. His hands are rough but gentle at the same time, in your hair and trailing down your sides. Your name is a longing moan vibrating against your throat as you trace the muscles of his back.

"Lando," you gasp, arching beneath him.

"I know… I know." Hot breath at your ear, fingers digging into your thigh. Guiding your leg over his hip.

"Please." It's a soft moan.

"Fuck." His lips move to yours, his gasping whimper muffled.

The frantic need is still there but he's unhurried, as though he's trying to memorize every breath, every touch. When your hand flies out to grasp the sheet his hand follows, fingers threading between yours and gripping tightly. You're lost in the haze, sweat forming between you, sheets twisting. Ecstasy rises, peaks, and it's so sudden and delicious your cries ring out.

"Y/n." A desperate whine that only increases the bliss.

Rolling, twisting, arching. It's feverish and needy and so good so so good.

You both collapse, your hands in his sweat-damp hair. Panting, tingling, you wait for the awkwardness that never comes. His touch is tender, his lips gentle on yours before he's pulling away, murmuring that he'll get a towel. He's back before you can catch your breath, and by the time you can breathe he's kissing you again.

The sky outside is turning gray when you both breathlessly agree to get some sleep. You half expect him to leave, but he's there when you wake up, sleeping on his stomach next to you, his arm slung across your waist, his gentle snores telling you he's fast asleep.

And though you distinctly remember him saying he was going back to Monaco that day, he sticks around. Blushes and shrugs when you ask him about it over lunch, then suggests borrowing a friend's yacht for the night. The days bleed into the nights, a blurred span of time of sightseeing, swimming, and Lando.

When it's time for you to pack up to go home you feel a little bereft. But the vacation can't last forever. You've got to go back to real life, figure out how you'll live as a completely free woman. And he's got to get back to his life, jetting around the world and undoubtedly breaking hearts.

You exchange numbers and he promises to keep in touch, but you know you'll be forgotten before your plane takes off. You've been a pleasant distraction for his summer break, nothing more.

You're about to board when your phone buzzes with an incoming text. From Lando.

- You dropped your ring in my car.

As you stare at the words, you realize you haven't rubbed your ring finger in nearly a week. A picture appears on the screen, the ring – that he bought – resting in his palm.

- Hold onto it for me?

He won't. He'll give it away or sell it or take it back to the shop.

But, when you're back home and have exchanged texts with him and even a couple phone calls – yes I promise I contacted an advisor, I'm signing up for classes – and he lets you know his break is over and he's getting back to work, you cave and pull up footage of him in an interview.

He looks different on the screen of your laptop. Good, but different. And you can only focus on the necklace that's just visible under his (hideous really) orange shirt. When he leans, it shifts, and you see it.

Your ring.

"Are you still hung up on her?"

Lando's head snaps up at Max's question. "What?"

His friend gestures to the phone in Lando's hand. "That American?"

He feels his cheeks heat and realizes Max knows he's looking at your Instagram. "I'm not hung up."

Max just looks at him.

"I'm just checking on her," he mutters.

With a sigh, Max softens and sits next to him. "It's okay to like her, you know."

He huffs, his hand reaching to fiddle with the ring on his necklace. "She was just supposed to be a fling."

"But she wasn't," Max says after a moment.

Lando shakes his head. "I don't know," he whispers.

Silence lingers, stretches as his thumb hovers over your most recent post.

Then, softly. "Am I stupid?"

Max shoots him a look.

"For thinking it was special," he adds before his friend can insult him. "For thinking she thinks it was special."

"Was it special?"

He swallows hard, rolling the ring between his fingers as he looks at the post, a photo of a cup of coffee next to a laptop. Up past my bedtime parsing Austen. Liking it, he closes the app and locks his phone.

Was it special? Or was it just the great sex and no strings that had him thinking it was? At first, in those days immediately after you'd left, he'd only thought about the sex. How freeing it had been, knowing he wouldn't see you again and could let inhibitions go. But with each week that passed the sex wasn't the only thing he thought about.

Laughter and sunshine. Salty air and sweet conversation. Honeyed voice and understanding eyes.

He lifts his head, meeting Max's eyes. He doesn't have to say it. Max has known him for more than half his life. But he answers.

"Yes."

Taglist:

@maxlarens | @driverlando | @leodette | @forzalando | @captainreecejames | @d3kstar | @frenchyjuju | @irishmanwhore | @warrensluvr | @tpwkstiles | @mcmuppet | @eveninggstar | @noooway555 | @bookishnerd1132 | @skeleton-elly | @trisharee | @littlegrapejuice

[morbidology]

On May 1, 1947, Evelyn McHale, a 23-year-old woman, leapt to her death from the 86th-floor observation deck of the Empire State Building in New York City. Her death, immortalized by a haunting photograph, became one of the most iconic images of the 20th century and is often referred to as "the most beautiful suicide."

Evelyn McHale was born on September 20, 1923, in Berkeley, California. After her parents' divorce, she moved to Tuckahoe, New York, with her father and siblings. Evelyn joined the Women's Army Corps and was stationed in Jefferson City, Missouri, during World War II. After her service, she moved to New York City, where she worked as a bookkeeper at the Kitab Engraving Company.

Evelyn was engaged to Barry Rhodes, a college student and ex-GI who lived in Pennsylvania. The couple planned to marry, and by all accounts, their relationship appeared happy and stable. However, beneath the surface, Evelyn struggled with deep emotional turmoil.

On the morning of May 1, 1947, Evelyn visited Barry in Pennsylvania to celebrate his birthday. After returning to New York City, she went to the Empire State Building. She bought a ticket to the observation deck and, after spending a few moments there, climbed over the railing and jumped.

Evelyn's body landed on the roof of a United Nations limousine parked on 34th Street. Just minutes after her death, photography student Robert Wiles happened to be nearby and captured an eerily serene photograph of her body. In the image, Evelyn appears to be peacefully asleep, her legs crossed at the ankles, with one hand clutching her pearl necklace.

This photograph was published in Life magazine and quickly became famous. The haunting image, combined with the apparent calmness and beauty of Evelyn's repose, led to it being dubbed "the most beautiful suicide."

Evelyn left behind a suicide note, found in her purse at the observation deck. In it, she expressed her deep despair and requested that her body not be viewed or held in a public funeral. She wrote:

"I don’t want anyone in or out of my family to see any part of me. Could you destroy my body by cremation? I beg of you and my family – don’t have any service for me or remembrance for me. My fiancé asked me to marry him in June. I don’t think I would make a good wife for anybody. He is much better off without me. Tell my father, I have too many of my mother’s tendencies."

[waitimcomingtoo]

And I Wouldn’t Marry Me Either

Pairing: Tom Holland x singer!reader

Synopsis: you release some songs about Tom after a disagreement ends in a breakup

Masterlist

“Marry me.”

“Right now? But I just got comfortable.” Tom mumbled into his pillow with a sleepy smile.

“I’m serious.” You whispered through a laugh and shook his shoulder. Tom’s eyes slowly opened and he could see the blurry outline of you lying next to him in your bed.

“What?”

“I’m just thinking.” You began. “We’ve been together five years.”

“I’m aware.” Tom laughed and snuggled back into his pillow.

“So we should do it. We should get married.” You propped yourself up on your elbow to look at him.

“We are married. Everyone knows you’re my girl.” Tom said without opening his eyes and pulled you into his arms. He tried to go back to sleep but you still wanted to talk.

“I know.” You laughed. “But I want to make it official.”

“What, in Gods eyes and all that? I didn’t think you cared about that.” He laughed dismissively and rolled over. You sat up fully in the bed and looked down at him.

“It’s not about that. I want the flowers and the dress and the rings. Don’t you want that?” You asked and shook him a little to clue him in that you were trying to have a serious conversation. You watched Tom shrug and roll onto his back to look up at you.

“I don’t know. I always found weddings kinda dumb.”

“What? What do you mean dumb?” You forced a laugh and tried to hide the disappointment in your tone.

“I mean, like, they’re not even legally binding. It’s this whole big celebration that people spend their life savings on just to get drunk and slid rings on each other fingers. You still have to go to the courthouse to get married and even that’s just a piece of paper.”

“Oh. I didn’t realize you felt that way.” You laughed shortly and picked at your nail polish to look busy.

“I didn’t realize you felt a different way.” He said and rolled back onto his stomach. Tom closed his eyes to go back to sleep and you felt your heart sink in your chest. You got out of the bed and opened the curtains a little to distract yourself with the view. You touched the silky white curtains and smiled to yourself as you thought of all the pictures of white dresses you had saved on your Pinterest throughout the years.

“I’ve always dreamed of my wedding.” You said over your shoulder. “I think every little girl does at some point. Every rom com I grew up on ends with the perfect fairy tale wedding. I always wanted that. I wanted my happy ending.”

“But those are just movies. I bet half those couples wouldn’t last in real life.”

“But it’s sweet that they plan that special day together and then get to celebrate their love in front of all their family and friends.”

“Yeah, all that planning just so they can get divorced before the first year is up.” Tom snorted. “I think the whole idea of weddings are stupid. I mean, you spend all that time and money planning for a one day event that people will just attend for the free booze. Plus, women starve themselves for months and spend thousands of dollars on a dress they’ll wear once? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Wow. Tell me how you really feel, Tom.” You laughed shortly and folded your arms to glare at him. Tom sensed your tone and sat up in bed to pay better attention.

“I just think it’s all so ancient.” He shrugged. “I’m surprised you don’t agree. Weddings cannot exist without all the bullshit sexist traditions. I mean, the white dress to symbolize the brides supposed purity, the father of the bride literally “giving her away” to another man after being asked permission to get engaged in the first place, and then to top it off with her taking his last name because she’s now his property or something. It’s all so trivial and perverse.”

“It doesn’t have to be like that. Those traditions may be rooted in old fashioned thinking but I think it’s sweet to ask for my fathers permission. And yeah, I do want my dad holding my hand and walking me down the aisle. He’s not giving me away to be another man’s property, he’s standing by my side as I enter a new chapter of my life. Which is why I want my mama right there on my other side. Plus, lots of people hyphenate their last names nowadays. It doesn’t have to be this monstrous sexism fest you’re making it out to be.” You rolled your eyes and walked into the bathroom that was attached to your bedroom. Tom frowned when you shut the door. You usually left it open a crack when you did your morning skincare routine, but today, you were shutting him out. Tom got out of bed and walked into the bathroom to see you. You didn’t look up at him as you washed your face.

“Come on. Are you seriously mad because I dissed your rom coms?” Tom said as he put his hands on your hips and kissed your shoulder.

“I’m not mad about that.” You mumbled and brushed him off.

“Then what are you mad about, sour patch?” He teased and kissed your shoulder again.

“I’m mad because I’ve been getting my nails done weekly leading up to our five year anniversary just in case you proposed and you just told me that’s never even crossed your mind!” You exclaimed as hot tears of embarrassment brimmed your eyes. You stormed out of the bathroom and when Tom processed what you had said, he followed after you.

“I don’t believe in marriage, okay? I think it’s unnecessary. Why can’t we just live like this forever? What’s the difference?”

“The difference is pretty big. But I guess you don’t see it like that.” You shrugged and kept walking away from him.

“Can you honestly tell me what would be different between us if we signed a stupid piece of paper at the courthouse or didn’t?” Tom said as he put his hands on your shoulders to keep you in place for a second.

“The difference is I’d be your wife and not just the pathetic girlfriend who stayed even though you didn’t lock it down.” You raised your voice at him and pushed his hands off of you.

“So you only want to get married because you care what people think? How romantic.” Tom rolled his eyes at you.

“That’s not the only reason. I want to get married because it’s important to me. It’s a public commitment where we promise to love and protect each other forever. I want that.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t. I don’t need a ceremony to do that. I can promise you that right here.” Tom calmed down and took your hands.

“But that’s not special.” You sighed and withdrew your hands.

“If you don’t find that special then maybe you don’t love me as much as you think you do.” Tom said, immediately regretting it.

“What?” You whispered and looked into his eyes to see if he was serious.

“Look, darling, I’m sorry.” He said softly. “I just don’t see the point in marriage. I don’t need to prove I love you with a ring and wedding. I chose to love you every day. That’s enough for me.”

“What if it’s not enough for me?” You genuinely asked him as you wondered it for yourself.

“Then maybe you need to stop being so shallow and materialistic and ask yourself if you’re with me because you love me or because you want to play out some childhood fantasy that you saw in a stupid movie.” He shouted.

You both instantly got quiet. You were quiet for a very long time.

“I didn’t even mean that.”

“I don’t even care.” Your voice cracked as you grabbed your purse and slammed the front door behind you when you left.

“Is this one okay?” Harrison asked, pulling Tom out of his daydream. He replayed that fight over in his head about a dozen times a day. If his mind wasn’t occupied by something at all times, he’d perform an autopsy on that last conversation with you to try and understand what he should’ve done differently.

“What?” Tom asked without looking at his friend. He was too busy staring at the seat you always used to sit in at the kitchen counter.

“Can I use this one?” Harrison repeated and held up a muted purple mug as the tea kettle went off in the background. Tom tore his eyes away from your chair and when he saw the mug, all he could picture was your lipstick stain that used to stain it.

“That’s Y/n’s mug.” Tom said, descending a chill over the room. Harry and Sam’s attention was caught and they looked at Tom to see where this conversation was going.

“Oh. Sorry. I’ll put it back.” Harry said and quickly went to put it back in the cabinet.

“It’s fine. She’s not using it.” Tom shrugged. Everyone looked at each other as the awkwardness became palpable.

“How’s she’s doing?” Sam asked and sipped his tea to seem less interested than he really was.

“She’s good. Shes been recording some stuff at her New York studio. New music and whatnot.” Tom replied. He didn’t know this because you told him. He knew this because he’d been stalking your fanpages for every possible sighting of you.

“Have you guys talked lately?” Harry asked.

“Not really. Not since she left.” Tom admitted without looking up at his friends.

“You guys didn’t break up, did you?” Harrison asked, worsening the icy tension. Tom froze at the question for a minute and then shrugged. He didn’t really know what the answer was. In the weeks you’d been gone, you’d make small talk sometimes about work and the weather, but it never went beyond that. It was more to be polite. You kept in touch enough to know what the other was up to on a weekly basis, but you both knew you were dragging out something that had died. You wanted Tom to just say it was over already instead of pretending everything was normal, but he was never going to do that.

“I don’t know. We left things kinda up in the air.” Tom replied. The boys exchanged glances and Harrison nodded to let them know he was gonna take charge.

“Up in the air?” He questioned.

“Yep. Up in the air. Ambiguous. Vague. Open to interpretation. Call it what you want.” Tom shrugged again like it didn’t matter, but it did.

“Well what was the last thing you said to each other?” Harry wondered.

“She said she needed some space and was going to New York. And I said okay.” Tom recalled.

“What about before that?”

“I don’t know. We didn’t talk much in the days leading up to her leaving.” Tom replied and took a long sip of his tea.

“She didn’t speak to you?” Sam asked.

“She did.” Tom nodded. “Sometimes.”

“You didn’t speak to her?” Harrison asked, already knowing the answer.

“I didn’t have anything to say.” Tom shrugged. Nobody spoke a word, but all the boys were thinking the same thing. They knew how bad this was, and that it signaled the end of your relationship.

“What?” Tom asked when he noticed the shift in vibe.

“I’m just surprised.” Harrison shrugged. “You guys were never like this. I can’t even remember your last fight.”

“We didn’t fight. You can’t fight when you don’t speak.” Tom said with a sarcastic smile.

“You should call her.” Harry suggested. “It’s gonna be at least a week since she’s been there, right?”

“Four weeks.” Tom corrected without meeting anyone’s else.

“Mate, you gotta call her.” Harry said quietly and put his hand on Tom’s shoulder.

“I can’t.” Tom shook his head.

“Why not?”

“She can’t break up with me if I don’t talk to her. As long as we don’t have that conversation, we’ll still be together.”

“I’m not sure that’s how it works, Buddy.” Harrison said apologetically. Tom sucked in a sharp breath and looked at his friend with tears brimming his bloodshot eyes.

“I don’t know what else to do.” He said with a crack in his voice.

“Oh shit.” Sam said suddenly, getting everyone’s attention.

“What?” Tom asked.

“She’s dropping a song tonight. She just announced it.” Sam said and showed Tom your Twitter. Tom took Sam’s phone to read your announcement better. Sure enough, you had posted a picture of you dramatically lying across a piano bench with your left hand covering half of your face. You had a ring on every finger except for your ring finger, a detail that wasn’t lost on Tom. He handed Sam’s phone back and look at the floor.

“You didn’t know about this?” Sam asked, and Tom shook his head. He’d gone from being the first person you played every song for to finding out on Twitter that you had a song coming out.

“What’s it called?” Harrison wondered. Sam looked down at his phone to read the title and gulped.

“Who cares?” Sam forced a laugh and put his phone away.

“What’s it called?” Tom asked again.

“You Don’t Know Me Anymore.” Sam mumbled. Tom shut his eyes and hung his head in shame. He hadn’t even heard the song yet but knew it was going to be bad news.

“When does that come out?” He asked Sam.

“Midnight. Tonight.”

Tom’s friends stayed with him all day until midnight rolled around. At 11:58, Tom placed his laptop on the kitchen table and opened YouTube. He knew you always released lyric videos when you dropped a new song and he needed to reach every single world you said. When midnight came, he refreshed his screen and clicked on your video. The background image was a picture of you looking in a mirror with messy hair. You had digitally added sparkly, purple tears to run down the still image of your face. You played a couple notes on the piano before the lyrics appeared beside your face in your handwriting.

“I wish you’d just put me out of my misery

You already know I’m at your mercy

I don’t know why you’re dragging this out

You have all the power, if that’s what this is about

I’m not gonna be the one who walks away

So I need you to say what you want to say

I already know it’s over so just let it end

Please don’t give me the pity of asking to stay friends.”

“I don’t think we should be listening to this.” Sam said as he paused the video.

“Play it.” Tom demanded. Sam sighed and pressed play while the other exchanged looks.

“I’ve been feeling you leaving

I hate this part more than the ending

The moments leading up when I know your heart has changed

I don’t know why we keep pretending

If it’s done just say it’s done

Don’t just change your mind and not tell me

I already know so just let me go

Don’t just watch as I sit and bleed.”

“I don’t think-“ Sam began as he paused it again.

“Stop pausing it.” Tom cut him off. “Play it. I need to hear it.”

Sam pressed play again and Tom pulled the laptop over to himself so he could control it.

“Cause I cut my hand on that first crack in the glass

I feel the icy air between us when you pass me

So I took your chain off from around my neck

I’ll think of something else your initial can stand for

You don’t deserve to see me wearing it anyway

You don’t know me anymore.”

Tom didn’t realize he had started to cry until his tears his his keyboard. He couldn’t see the video anymore from his blurry his eyes had gotten. He wiped his face and leaned on his hands to give the song better attention.

“You know I would die for you in secret

Like that song I showed you in my car

I don’t think you even listened to it

You didn’t draw stars around my scars

You drew your arrow and let it fly

Right into my heart and let me die

Actually, I wish that was the curtesy you provided

Instead, you let this love become one sided

And now we’re shattered like a glass that was dropped

You broke my heart until the day that it stopped

You never got down on knee

Even when I crumbled onto both of mine

I wonder if you ever really wanted me

How did you think we were fine?

And at what part did you realize you liked the idea of me?

But who I actually am isn’t someone you wanted

I miss who I was before we met

Now I can’t go back, I’m haunted

And you were right not to marry me

If I could walk away from me too, I would

You were right to leave when you did

I know I would too if I could

But I’m stuck here with myself

Forever scratching and clawing at your door

Keep it all, even my memories

You’re lucky you don’t know me anymore.”

Everyone sat in silence once the song ended. Tom wiped his eyes again but tears just kept falling down his face.

“That probably wasn’t even about you.” Harrison said after a long beat of silence. Tom gave him a look before turning to his brothers.

“What do you think?” He asked Harry.

“It sounds like she’s hurting too.” Harry shrugged. “I think you’re both waiting for the other to say you’re broken up.”

“Well I’m not saying it.” Tom stated. “She has to.”

“And if she doesn’t?” Sam asked kindly.

“Then we don’t break up.”

“Again, I’m not really sure that’s how it works.”

“Well it’s what I’m going with. Because I can’t break up with her.” Tom sniffled and shut the laptop.

“But you can’t go on like this either.” Sam pointed out.

“She’ll come home when she’s ready.” Tom said, but no one in the room believed him.

And didn’t come home for a while.

After another week of silence, Tom flew to New York to see you. He got to your apartment and knocked on your door without any particular plan in mind. You opened it with a smile but when you saw who it was, you tensed up.

“Hi.” He said with a sad smile.

“If you came to to propose to me as some kind of grand gesture-“

“Please, let me talk.” He cut you off. You sighed and nodded as you leaned against your doorway.

“We have different opinions. But I don’t love or respect anyone more than you. So I am willing to hear your side, which is not something I did last time we spoke about this. I was just listening for what I could rebuttal against. I wasn’t actually listening to understand your thoughts and feelings. But I’m ready now.” He said. You nodded again and seemed to drop the wall that you had put up.

“It matters to me that we get married.” You told him. “I know you think it’s pointless and doesn’t change anything, but it changes things for me. If you picked out a ring, asked my parents permission, and got down on one knee, that would all make me feel special and loved. Those things matter to me in a relationship.”

“Okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t know that.”

“But now you do know so if you propose, I know you’re just gonna do it to appease me. I’ll always know that you think it’s stupid when I look at the ring.”

“I admit that it found it a little dumb in the past. But it matters to you. And nothing that matters to you can be stupid.”

“I can’t get married to you knowing you don’t really want it. It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to me.” You said and went to close the door.

“But I can’t lose you. My thoughts on marriage literally do not matter to me in the slightest. If it’s important to you and if it is what it takes to make you feel special and loved, then I want it too.” Tom pleaded as he pushed your door back open.

“But you don’t want it. You just don’t want to break up.”

“I can put on a tux for a night and suffer through if it means that much to you.” He said with a slight laugh to lighten the mood. Your face changed and he had somehow made the situation worse.

“Suffer?” You asked quietly with a told of your head.

“I’m sorry. That was a poor choice of words. But darling, I’m saying we can get married. I’ll do whatever it is you want. Why do you still look so upset?”

“Because you don’t get it.” You shook your head. “And I’m afraid you never will.”

“What don’t I get? I don’t understand. I’m telling you I’ll give you what you want.”

“But you don’t want it too. That’s what I’m trying to say. It’s the principle, Tom. Remember how disappointed I was that one time when I said I wanted ice cream so we went to the shop but you didn’t get anything? I didn’t mean I wanted ice cream. I meant I wanted us to get ice cream together so we could eat it and spend time together. This is like that but times a million. You can’t compromise on marriage. You either believe in it or you don’t. So even if we did get married, it wouldn’t mean to you what it means to me. I would always think back to that conversation we had and remember how you really feel about marriage. I keep replaying all the things you said that day in my head. We both know how you feel about marriage and we both know it’s not something you want.”

“So that one conversation ruined it for you? Completely?” He asked.

“Yes, it did.” You answered truthfully. You stared at each other for a minute as both your eyes welled with tears. You both knew you’d reached a stalemate and there was nothing more to be done.

“So what do we do now?” Tom asked without looking at you.

“I love you. More than I’ve ever loved anyone.” You told him, making him perk up.

“So do I.” He smiled as tears rolled down his face.

“But what if that’s not enough?” You asked him. Tom froze and felt the situation escaping from him fast.

“We’ve been together almost 5 years, darling. That’s five birthdays, Christmas’s, anniversaries. You make up so much of my life. We’re exactly right for each other. It’s supposed to be you and me in the end. I can’t do this with anyone else.”

“And I can’t do this with you.” You laughed sadly and gestured to him. Tom’s heart dropped in his chest when it became apparent that this was more than just a fight.

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“I think I am.” You nodded. Neither of you could believe the words that were coming out of your mouth but it was too late to take them back.

“Does marriage really mean that much to you that you’d rather break up instead of just living a long, happy life together?” Tom asked you.

“I guess it does.” You realized. He stood there in shock as you put a hand on his shoulder and brought him closer to kiss his cheek.

“Goodbye, Tom.” You smiled sadly at him and shut your door.

Another month went by and you did not come home. You busied yourself with your music and dove into your next album, but that didn’t stop you from thinking about him on midnights when you were left alone with your thoughts. Tom thought about you a lot more often, like every time he saw your face on his TV. He tuned in one night to watch you debut your latest music video of your newest song. His eyes were glued to the TV as the video opened with your back to some brown eyed actor.

“You say “I don’t understand” and “I say I know you don’t.” We thought a cure would come through in time, now I fear it won’t.” You sang with your eyes glued to the floor. The setting changed and you were walking through an apartment that Tom recognized.

“She filmed this on Cornelia Street?” Tom whispered to himself and sat back on his couch.

“Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light.” A smiling version of you sang as she walked though the apartment holding the hand of the actor playing Tom. The setting changed again and you were still in the room, but the lights were off and you were sitting alone in the floor.

“Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time.” You sang while not looking in the camera. The rest of the video followed in suit. You flashed between happy, golden hued memories with the actor to grey toned solo shots of you sitting alone at your piano or on the floor. The difference in the moods made Tom reminisce on the old times and he wondered how long it has been since he had made you smile the way you were doing in the video.

“Stop, you’re losing me. Stop, stop, stop. You’re losing me.” You sang while looking directly into the camera as a purple heart monitor line ran through the background behind you and eventually flatlined. Tom felt like you were staring right into his soul and realized this was the closest he’d gotten to making eye contact with you in a while. He watched the sad, grey version of yourself split from the happy version and suddenly, there were two of you on the screen while the actor playing Tom ignored them both.

“How long can we be a sad song till we were too far gone to bring back to life?” The both of you sang while Tom’s counterpart read the newspaper and didn’t look at either. He thought of the days leading up to you leaving for New York where he’d be doing exactly that, reading the newspaper to pretend to look busy when he felt you glaring at him. He wiped his face and watched as the scene changed to the three of you at a party. The sad version of you was clinging to Tom’s counterpart defensively while the other version of you yelled at him with a drink in your hand.

“Fighting in only your army. Front lines, don’t you ignore me. I’m the best thing as this party.” You yelled and drunkenly stumbled around while the rest of the party watched.

“You’re losing me.” The grey version whispered into Tom’s ear. He assumed that version represented the part of you that missed him while the other version represented the you that knew it was over. The scene changed again and this time, you were back in the Cornelia Street apartment with an open ring box in the center of the table. There was no ring inside, just a burning flame.

“And I wouldn’t marry me either. A pathological people pleaser.Who only wanted you to see her.” You said into the camera while Tom’s character threw things into a bag behind you and went to leave.

“And I’m fading thinking do something babe! Say something! Lose something, babe. Risk something. You’re losing me! Chose something, babe. I got nothing to believe unless you’re choosing me.” The grey version of you desperately said to Tom’s counterpart as she pulled on his arm to beg him to stay. It was like he couldn’t see her at all and just kept walking towards the door. The golden version of yourself opened the door and pointed for him to get out while the other version of you jumped in front of him and dropped to her knees to get him to stay. Tom’s character walked right through her and she faded to dust, leaving just the one version of yourself to watch him go. The music stopped and you ended up running after him, but he was already gone. You turned and ran down Cornelia Street but didn’t go back into your apartment. You just kept running down the street and turned the block so that the camera couldn’t see you anymore. The camera panned out to show the Cornelia Street sign and a violin version of your song by the same name played in the background as the street sign turned grey and faded into dust. The screen turned black and Tom was left alone in the silence.

After another month, he found himself outside your door again. He knocked on it and felt his heart pound until you opened it up.

“Tom? What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for you. I came to fix this.” He said simply.

“Tom, I don’t know that we can fix this.” You said apologetically. It felt amazing to see him, but it didn’t change the fact that you ultimately wanted different things in life.

“You were right. You can’t compromise on marriage. And you either believe in it or you don’t.” He began before getting down on one knee.

“Tom?” You asked skeptically as your eyes went wide. He pulled a ring box out of his pocket and opened it up for you.

“It’s your moms ring. Your dad gave it to her for the third Valentine’s Day they celebrated together in college. She doesn’t wear it anymore because it’s one size too small, so she gave it to me when I asked them for permission to marry you.”

“You asked them?” You smiled in surprise that he had done one of the things you said mattered to you.

“I did. It was a little awkward to find out your mother already knew all about our previous conversations about marriage so you can probably guess how confused I was.” He said with an embarrassed laugh.

“What did my dad say?”

“He said as long as I make you happy, he’s proud to have me join the family.”

“See? No one’s giving me away to anyone. We’re just creating a bigger family for the two of us.”

“I see that now. I see a lot of the points you made. And what your dad said got me thinking.”

“About?”

“All I want is to make you happy. Which is different from agreeing to things I don’t want to do to appease you. I do want to watch you walk down the aisle in a dress that’s been in your Pinterest board since you were 13. I do want to plan the seating arrangement and introduce my weird friends from college to your weird friends from college. I want to plan the entire thing because that’s something we can do together, and those are my favorite things to do.”

“What about the ceremony? And the marriage license? You don’t want those things.”

“I didn’t at first.” He admitted. “But after actually thinking about it and reevaluating the opinion I formed before I ever even had a serious relationship, I realized I feel differently. You make me feel differently. I would proudly sign my name next to yours on a marriage license. Because I happen to think our names look pretty good together. And as for the ceremony, I know we can’t compromise, but we can collaborate. It doesn’t have to be a huge blowout party. It can be the best elements of the both of us. And we can plan it together.”

“That all sounds very lovely, but it doesn’t change the fact that you didn’t believe in marriage just a few months ago. Am I really supposed to believe you’ve truly changed your mind? What if this is just some grand gesture to win me back that you end up regretting?” You asked him.

“I will never end up regretting promising my love for you in front of our family and friends. I’ll never regret hyphenating our names so that everyone knows I’m a part of a duo. I’ll never regret choosing to legally attach myself to my vets friend and spend the rest of my life with her. But I can tell you with the utmost assurance that I would regret letting you walk away and become a name I wince at for the rest of my life.”

“You felt differently not too long ago.” You quietly reminded him. You wanted so badly to believe him, but you couldn’t fully trust it.

“I changed my mind. I realized somethings are more important than other things. And that you’re more important than anything.”

Your skeptical expression turned into a coy smile as you slid your hand into the one that wasn’t holding the open ring box.

“You never actually said the words.” You told him, making Tom break into a relieved smile.

“Darling, would you make me the happiest man-“

“Eh. Try again. Too cliche.” You cut him off. Tom smiled and shook his head, knowing you weren’t gonna make it easy.

“My love, I don’t want to spend another minute as just your boyfriend.” He tried again.

“Lame. Thumbs down.” You shook your head and pointed your thumb down.

“Would you do me the honor-“

“Yawn.” You interrupted.

“Will you just marry me, you annoying brat?” Tom groaned.

“Tom! I thought you’d never ask!” You gushed over dramatically and put your hand over your heart.

“Is that a yes?” Tom asked as he stood up.

“I have to think about it. I don’t know if marriage is for me.” You shrugged as he slid the ring onto your finger. You looked down at the ring and remembered the time you tried it on as a little girl and how it didn’t fit your finger until now.

“Yes. I will marry you.” You smiled as you looked back up at Tom. Tom broke into a grin and scooped you up to spin you around.

“Sorry I wrote all those emo songs about you.” You said into his ear, making him laugh.

“It’s okay. It’s what you do.” He couldn’t stop smiling as he set you down. He then pulled you in for a long kiss to make up for all the time you were apart. When you pulled away, he pulled your face back towards him with his hands to kiss your left cheek.

“I see you.” He said, then kissed you right cheek.

“I choose you.” He continued, then kissed your forehead.

“I love you.” He said, the kissed your nose before looking into your eyes.

“And I know you.” He told you. You smiled softly and nodded your head.

“You do?” You asked him. “You really know me?”

“I do.”

Tag List 🏷️

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[writing-fanics]

literally if I were to write my ford pines x reader

They’d be fighting like an old married couple back and forth.. Mabel is literally like

*gasp* “you two liked each other~”

Like it’s obvious they had a history together [hinted relationship might’ve even been married or engaged]

but he got too deep into his work made a literal deal with inter dimensional demon

and after seeing the portal gave him an ultimatum

then they left him

The reader stayed in gravity falls, adopted a kid to not feel alone

Married at one point had a biological child then ended up getting divorced, and losing custody of said child

also the reader really bonds with Mabel reminds her of when she was growing up, how she was really outgoing didn’t wanna fit in with the Norms

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Fake-Dating Pairs That Could "Plausibly" Happen

As requested by @room-temperature-orange-juice :)

Sanderson doesn't seem to go for fake dating all that much. But here are some scenarios that could TOTALLY happen if he did want to incorporate some fake-dating comedy into his books...

1. MeLaan & Marasi

The Scenario: Well, they obviously need to go undercover to solve a case, perhaps to a ball or a party or a wedding where it makes the most sense to pretend to be a couple

MeLaan (currently in a woman's body): All right. Let's do this! Marasi: U-Uh, MeLaan? Are you sure that's the...best body for this operation? MeLaan: Shit, you're right. Hang on! MeLaan: [Returns as a much more voluptuous woman] MeLaan: Now everyone will know that you can pull. Marasi (deeply red): T-THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT

2. Kaladin & Szeth [Rhythm of War spoilers but NO WAT preview spoilers]

The Scenario: Well, we know that Kaladin and Szeth will be going to Shinovar on a mission. Let's say Szeth needs to explain why he's brought a stone-walker into his homeland. The obvious explanation is that they're dating!

Shinovar authority figure: D-Dating?! Why would you date a stone-walker?! Szeth (expressionless): I like tall men. Kaladin (equally expressionless): He likes it when I hit my head on things. Szeth (still expressionless): Though I love him deeply, I do enjoy a good instance of head trauma. Shinovar authority figure (muttering): Is double "Truthless" a thing?

3. Charlie & one of those princesses

The Scenario: Rather than driving off all of the eligible princesses by being as boring & gross as possible, Charlie finds one who is willing to play along.

Charlie: T-The truth is, I already have a woman I love. The Princess: Really? Charlie: Yeah, but my dad doesn't approve of her... The Princess: I know how you feel. My father also doesn't approve of the woman I love... Charlie: ... The Princess: ... Charlie: ... The Princess: ... Charlie: Five-year engagement? The Princess: At least!

4. Lyn & Renarin

The Scenario: Fed up with her parents being all judgmental because she dumped Kaladin Stormblessed, Lyn decides that she HAS to bring an awesome date to her family dinner--and who better than a Brightlord, a Radiant, AND the king's son?

Lyn: Don't forget to bring up that you joined the 4v1 duel before Kaladin. Lyn: And how you took down a Thunderclast! Lyn: Storms, if you just smile occasionally, I bet that'll make them forget about Kaladin... Lyn: ... Lyn: Honestly, I think you might just be a better catch than Kaladin. Renarin: I'm gay, though. Lyn: Heh, well I didn't say you're a better catch for me...

5. Kaladin & Elhokar

The Scenario: Imagine that, during the infiltration of Kholinar, that part of their disguises involve Elhokar (disguised as a lighteyed woman) being the wife of Kaladin (disguised as an ugly old man).

Elhokar: Mmmm...I don't feel that I would go for a man with eyebrows like that. Shallan: Brightlady, please! Surely you can pretend that beneath his rough exterior, he has a good heart. Kaladin: ...pretend? Elhokar: No, no. I definitely would have insisted that he at least groom better. Can you make his eyebrows at least a bit neater? To sell the illusion? Or, do we have time to stop for nose-hair trimmers? Shallan: What if I just make his cheekbones a bit sharper? Elhokar: Mmmm...okay, yes. I could see myself marrying him. Kaladin: CAN WE PLEASE GET GOING

6. Wayne and Ranette

The Scenario: Wayne begs Ranette to fake-marry him.

Ranette: [looking at Wayne with a mixture of horror and pity] You said you weren't gonna do this anymore, Wayne. Wayne: No, no! Don't you get the wrong idea here! I need you to marry me and then divorce me horribly so you get half of my money in court! Wayne: Please understand--I've tried everything to get rid of this money. I'm desperate here! Wayne: Please! Ranette: ... Ranette: I get to divorce you horribly? Wayne: You better eviscerate me in court! Ranette: ... Ranette: Might be right therapeutic, actually. Wayne: You're such a good friend!

Moash & Kelsier

The Scenario: Moash realizes he's going to be reunited with his former Bridge 4 friends and makes plans accordingly.

Moash: Yup. This is my old Bridge 4 uniform, but now it's dyed black, because I'm new & evil now. Moash: And this is my new boyfriend Kelsier, who's just like you, Kaladin, only he survives MORE and actually FOLLOWS THROUGH on killing the king. Kelsier: Lord Ruler. Moash: Whatever. Moash: So as you can see, I don't even miss you guys AT ALL. Moash: ... Moash: What do you think? Will this make them jealous? Kelsier: ...I think we need to practice your speech a bit more.

[batchilla]

Behold! A pinned post!

Wow. Lot of good information to come.

Why are you a batchilla?

Cursed by witch. Help. I am a simple creature powered by the 'number go up' and 'people talk to me' drive. Engaging with my work, such as Reblogging, sending asks, or replying to the post is the best way to help keep me motivated and producing words. Likes are lovely, but are on tumblr, kind of meaningless.

Requests?

No NSFW. It’ll never happen.

Open to them, but I make no promises. You can send me ideas and if I’m inspired or excited I’ll make something. If not… ask someone else or maybe try your hand at writing. Join the dark side. We have cookies.

Minors:

please read

While as of this post MY content is minor safe without intention to change that, and minors are welcome to read, send asks or requests, I respectfully ask that you don’t DM me, thank you. I will also add that I may at times Reblog NSFW content. I trust you to not read that, out of respect for me, other authors and the law. It will be clearly tagged, and I hope you enjoy reading the age appropriate parts of my blog.

Things I made

The most married divorced couple - series

Complicated - I imagine this to be this Reader characters first kiss with Jason but you could read it as a stand alone. Teen reader and Jason (they are adults in the main timeline).

Five times Robin came to your rescue... plus one time he didn't: coming soon.

Chapter one: till death do us part. Angst. Trigger warning for threats made to the life of a child.

Chapter two: four years later.

No prizes for guessing when this occurs.

Chapter three: Jason comes home.

This is a flashback to Jason's first return post divorce.

Aka I bully Jason for two pages.

Chapter four: Jason's fine. He's so calm about hearing about your dating life. He's c h i l l. Chapter five: coming soon Chapter six: coming soon

Fata Morgana

Jason Todd is a knight. You are a princess. Eventually you might smooch. However there’s a whole lot of secrets, lies, and not truely unrequited feelings to work through first. And a rather troublesome earl.

Chapter one. Chapter two. chapter three. This is an ongoing series.

You know I KNOW, right? an ongoing series.

you have a new partner in detective Grayson, and he has a secret. You know the truth, but delight in toying with him.

Chapter one: Your new partner, Grayson. Your new partner, Grayson, has a secret. But does he really think that mask is going to fool you?

Chapter two: false accusations A old partner returns. You draw your battlelines and begin the prank war. Chapter three: Coming soon. Taglist Please follow @batchilla-announces-fics to stay updated

[fadelbison]

Hi I would love to hear you talk about this pls: "EarthMix’s primary dilemma comes from the fact that they’re very likely actually dating."

anon im screaming you would have me spin conspiracy theories you would have me peddle hearsay like a dirty dirty tabloid? I most certainly will, the only reason I don't usually is because unprompted it seems belligerent and crazy but this way its only crazy.

Even insider hush hush rumor mill aside, let's look at EM from a fanservice perspective yeah? I want to be the first to say that I forced myself into EM because from the outside ie not following them on socmed and watching the odd BTS or interview here and there they seemed like the most normal and least likely to be real. I was feeling a little too crazy/overstimulated and a little too invested with ZeeNunew and needed a little distance from how high they had cranked the we are a real couple vibe. I'd just watched ATOTs and was reeling because it was both my first intro to Aof's brilliance as well as Earth and Mix's and then a little venture into Earth Mix Space had me totally sold that this was the great on screen chemistry sweet bromance pair for me. Except. I can't even explain it - it's not that they've had any significant pivots in the way they do fan service. In fact, EM are pretty low skinship in their fan service even now but just the way they talk and act around each other like it's obvious that they are deep into this partnership. But why does that necessarily mean they're in a relationship?

Of course, that is because of the goofs like idk I know they are actors and these could be staged by why would they? the second hand embarrassment is palpable. They very nearly live together, which obviously you won't know unless you paid attention enough to which cat belongs to whom lol from lives and stories and such. Not to mention Divorce Era and this totally heartbreaking interview from Mix. It is palpable how ride or die Earth and Mix are for each other. And their fan service right now is just like looking into what's probably going on in RL which is their long, blissful engagement lol

All of that to say Earthmix fan service is very non-traditional. The vast majority of their top hit gay moments don't come from events or BTS interviews but just from how they are with each other and they keep their actual PDA fairly private. Other than the rare occasion that Mix decides to play along with the top/bottom dynamic they're just two dudes that like each other???? very old married couple about it sure but still

[girlactionfigure]

Debunking the antisemitic  Talmud quotes meme promoted by @DanBilzerian and boosted by @RealCandaceO and her ilk

A thread.

Preface: None of this is new; most of these fake quotes originate from a couple of antisemitic German books that are over a hundred years old and they've been debunked over and over in many places. Sadly, most of them are not so accessible so I'll go over them myself. 

As far as my credentials, I'm a Rabbi who is in his second decade teaching Talmud for a living. This is something that occupies a large part of my day.

It's truly an eye-rolling moment whenever I see these quoted. Let me show you why:

1) Soferim 15

Mistranslation + taken out of context. 

In a discussion about generalities, Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai said that even the best members of your enemy nation, you should kill in a time of war instead of having mercy on them. This is rooted in the exodus from Egypt:

It says that after the plagues, when the Jews were in the midst of the sea, they were pursued by Pharoh and the rest of the egyptians on chariots. Now, how could they have chariots if all of their animals died in a plague?

Those who feared G-d brought them inside as per Moshe. 

So, they believed in the words of Moshe, they believed that G-d was sending those plagues on Egypt, and yet they still decided after seeing everything all the miracles they saw and knowing what they put the Jewish people through, to pursue them at sea in order to kill them. 

This is why Rabbi Shimon says that, in a time of war, don't have mercy on 'the best' of your enemies but rather kill them. We can see from this that they might have been the best members of their society but they still ultimately wanted to go through with their murderous intents. 

 Yevamot 98a

Fake translation, and out of context. 

There's a discussion about what happens when identical twin brothers converted, one marries a Jewish woman and he dies without having an heir: does his existing brother perform levirate marriage, or give her a form of divorce. 

There's a whole debate about whether or not he's permitted to do a levirate marriage.

One of the arguments that is brought is that since there's so much licentiousness in the non-Jewishness nation at the time, we don't know who is anyone's father as such, we don't allow it. 

To back this opinion, a verse from Ezekiel about the licentiousness of the Egyptians that compares their views on relationships with the way animals mate with each others without caring about who they mate with. 

So, in no way does it say that "children of non-Jews are animals." 

3) Bava Metzia 114b

Fake translation, and completely out of context. 

In short, there's a discussion about the idea of ritual purity, and whether the corpse of a non-Jew renders you impure if you touch their grave or not. According to Rabbi Shimon ben Gamliel, no. Here's why: 

He quotes a verse in relation to ritual purity that says that only Jews are called "Adam." 

Now, antisemites translate this as meaning man. Except, there are four terms that define man: Adam, Ish, Enosh and Gever. They all have different spiritual meanings.

So, Rabbi Shimon is not saying here that "non-Jews are not human", there's nothing about how non-Jews are beast at all mentioned there. In fact, the ones being compared to animals here are Jews (sheep). 

4) Gad Shas 2:2 

This is a fake quote. There's no such thing as Gad Shas.

In fact, both the Bible &  Talmud prescribe lashes for a Jewish man who engages in relations with a non-Jewish girl whether for pleasure or "marriage" (such unions are not legally recognized as marriage). 

5) Avodah Zara 36b

Fake translation and out of context.

Yes, non-Jewish girls are considered niddah from birth. So is the status of any non-Jewish woman who is unmarried as well. And married women for nearly half a month. 

It has nothing to do with "filth" at all. 

In fact, the reason why the Rabbis decreed that non-Jewish women are considered to be in a state of niddah from birth is to make it an even worse punishment if a Jew were to stay and have relations with one of them.

The Torah is really big into not intermarriage. Lots of verses. 

6) Sanhedrin 54b

Fake translation & wildly out of context.

This is a discussion specifically about *forbidden relationships* and whether it makes you susceptible to the death penalty. What's debated here is whether a person who engages in such horrible actions is put to death. 

The Sages determined that before the age of 9, children are completely unaware & don't understand what relations are. Between the ages of 9 & 13, while they do understand, they are not considered guilty whether passive or active. 

The whole discussion is about their victimizer. 

So here, the Jewish that is codified is that if a man forces someone between the ages of 9 & 13 to engage with him, that person gets the death penalty (and his victim does not) and under the age of 9, he does not get the death penalty but rather he gets lashes in public. 

The fact that he gets lashes for it instead of the death penalty doesn't mean that it's less than a crime. It's because it's considered something other than having relations, because a child that age is unable to understand what is happening and as such it's a different crime. 

For the record, Halacha also permits you to straight up kill this victmizer if you catch him in the act and it's necessary to stop, so it's not like he's being protected or we don't believe his crime is not something heinous. 

7) Sanhedrin 58b

Fake translation

The opinion of Rabbi Chanina is that if a non-Jew strikes a Jew, he is worthy of receiving the death penalty, as we saw when an Egyptian struck a Jew and Moshe killed him. 

Jewish law, however, says that a non-Jew is not executed for this. 

This is why so many of these are infuriating. This is one opinion talking about how someone "ought to" get something for doing something, but somehow it becomes transformed as "This is what Judaism believes." 

8) Sanhedrin 57a

Fake translation, plus out of context. 

Here, there is a whole discussion about the 7 Laws of Noach and whether a non-Jew who transgresses them is liable to the death penalty or not. 

Here  the Talmud states that laws against murder are stronger for non-Jews. 

As is codified in Halacha, a non-Jew who kills a fetus for example is going to be put to death, while it might not be the case for a Jew depending on the case. Same if he killed someone who was dying, or put them in a situation where they died indirectly because of him. 

So, if a non-Jew hired a hitman, locked someone and left them to starve to death or pushed them in front of a lion, they will be put to death while a Jew might not be in this situation.

That doesn't mean that a Jew is allowed to do such a thing; the Jew will in fact be punished. 

The only distinction here is that "7 mitsvot you can't violate, you can do whatever you want but otherwise you deserve the death penalty if you violate them."

Think of it like Adam in the Garden being told he has one thing to do, and one thing only. Breaking it is much worse. 

Since for Jews there are 613, there are more punishments than just the death penalty/nothing, which means that in certain cases, a Jew might be punished with lashes or spend the rest of his life in prison versus being put to death. Doesn't mean that non-Jewish lives don't matter. 

9) Tosfot  Yevamot 84b

Fake quote. 

I mean, I went through the Tosafot on that page twice and there's absolutely nothing even close. 

It's also confusing, because why with a dog specifically? That has no meaning to us, dogs aren't seen as particularly bad in Judaism. 

10) Bava Metzia 24a

Out of context. 

This is the closest one to being accurate, and yet at the same time wildly out of context. We start by discussing a case where a man saves a lost object from a wild animal, at sea, the flooding of a river, or finds it in a public place. 

There's a debate: did the owner despair of finding the object and, as a result, it is considered ownerless so the person who saved it is permitted to keep it, or does it still belong to his original owner who still hopes to retrieve it eventually. 

"Is the item owned or ownerless?" is the basic gist, and the answer is that if you find it in a place where it's a majority of non-Jewish inhabitants, it is considered ownerless (even if it belonged to a Jew in the first place) because it is not the way of people to get them back 

So it has nothing to do whether the owner of the object isn't Jewish (so you can keep it) but if he was Jewish you'd give it back. 

It has to do with whether the majority there are likely to give back such lost items or not, and it simply was not the case in those societies. 

11) Bava Kamma 113a

Fake quote, and out of context. 

This is a discussion that has to do with tax collectors who were ripping off people at the time and enriching themselves on the back of citizens by claiming taxes that didn't belong to them. Doesn't matter if Jewish or not. 

So there is a discussion about whether you are allowed to lie in order to protect yourself and your money from those thieves. 

The same way you'd be allowed to lie to "circumvent" a non-Jew about whether you were hiding a Jew in your attic during the Second World War. 

12) Avodah Zara 22a-22b

Mistranslation, and out of context. 

Basically, it says that you're not allowed to leave your animals alone in the inns of non-Jews at the time since you're putting a stumbling block in front of the blind as they commonly engaged in bestiality back then. 

I mean I don't think there's much to say about this, it's clear that in many places in the world this is just as common today as it was back then, and even in the more rural areas of the "developed" world it's still something that happens. 

The less said, the better. 

Conclusion:

This wraps up this ridiculous piece of propaganda. None of the quotes were 1) accurate, 2) complete and 3) in context. Some of them, straight up lies. 

Don't learn theology from memes, people. 

[froggychair05]

Hello, my friends!!! @jelo-boi and I have been cooking the past few days working on our MCSM Enchanted AU (AKA Minecraft: Enchanted Mode), a re-telling of the 2007 Disney movie Enchanted but with the funny blocks.

Putting a cut here because this is a bit long 🫶

Characters:

Jesse as Giselle

Lukas as Robert

Petra as Edward

F!Jesse (Jessica) as Nancy

Ivor as Nathaniel

Reuben as Pip

Romeo as Narissa (the disguise he uses is Vos)

Nell as Morgan

Olivia as Sam (the secretary)

Axel as Arty (the construction worker)

Isa as Robert’s boss

Milo as the other divorce lawyer

Jack as the guy singing in the park

Nurm as Clara (the old woman on the bus)

Cassie Rose as the bus driver

Ellegaard and Magnus as Phoebe and Ethan (the couple getting a divorce)

Summary:

Things start out in the fairytale land of Beaconlasia, where Jesse lives in a house in the woods until she’s saved from the Prismarine Colossus by Princess Petra and the two are to be married.

However, Petra’s stepfather King Romeo doesn’t want to give up the crown (he’s been trying to keep Petra from meeting a boy) and he disguises himself as an old man, tricking Jesse and pushing him down a well.

At this point, Jesse ends up in the middle of Manhattan. He wanders around the city, lost, until he quite literally falls into the arms of a divorce lawyer named Lukas and his younger sister Nell, and he goes to stay with them.

Meanwhile, Petra and Jesse’s pig friend Reuben venture to the real world to find her, and shortly after, Petra’s valet and Romeo’s servant, Ivor, goes through to try and stop her from finding him.

Lukas is engaged to a woman named Jessica, but shenanigans happen and he winds up falling in love with Jesse, and Jesse winds up falling in love with him as well. Ivor tries to poison Jesse a few times, and then eventually Petra finds him.

Except Jesse doesn’t want to go back because he loves Lukas and he likes being around Nell, but he agrees to return to Beaconlasia after going on a date with Petra.

They wind up going to a ball and Jesse dances with Lukas while Petra dances with Jessica, and then when it’s over, Petra and Jesse go to leave, but Romeo shows up disguised as the old man again and poisons Jesse with an apple. Petra finds out and tries to give him true love’s kiss, but it doesn’t work, so he has Lukas kiss him and he wakes up. Then Romeo turns into a dragon and captures Lukas, but Jesse saves him and Romeo falls off of the building and dies.

Jesse and Lukas have their happy ending while Jessica goes back to Beaconlasia with Petra and they get married, and Ivor writes a book and Reuben also writes a book and they all live happily ever after.

Important Details:

—> In the animated bits in Beaconlasia, they are Minecraft blocks.

—> Nell is Lukas’ younger sister, not his daughter. She’s still six, but with some of the mannerisms and attitude that Nell has.

—> Jesse cuts Lukas’ curtains to make his clothes—the suspenders are the patterned bits.

—> Instead of the running gag of Giselle’s wedding dress getting stuck in everything, it’s that Jesse’s suspenders keep getting caught on stuff.

—> Aiden is Lukas’ ex who left, causing him to have a sort of sour view on love (Aiden is also Malvina from Disenchanted. More on this later.)

—> Jesse and Jessica are long-lost siblings. Back when they were still babies, Jesse was more of a stubborn, adventurous type prone to wandering, while Jessica was a bit less stubborn and more reserved. Their mother was strolling them through Times Square on the same day maintenance work was also being done on the sewer, particularly the manhole that leads to Beaconlasia. When the stroller was just in place while their mother wasn't paying attention, Jesse crawled out while people were crossing the road. He got lost in the crowd, and eventually crawled all his way to the manhole and ended up stranded in Beaconlasia. Baby Jesse first wound up in the entrance to the wishing well inside the castle walls, but some parts of the walls had cracks that were big enough for him to crawl through. Eventually, he kept going on and kept roaming until he reached the forest, and there, the animals found him and took him in as their own. Ever since that day, Jessica grieved the loss of her brother, and as years went by, she wound up hiding those feelings inside her. Then, when she meets Jesse for the first time with Lukas at his apartment, she's initially jealous-angry at Lukas, but when she rides the taxi, she realizes how Jesse looks eerily similar to her, and she's like, “It can't be him, can it? It was so long ago. That's impossible.” After that, Jessica is less bothered by the notion of Lukas cheating on her and moreso by the notion that the person Lukas was with may be her long-lost twin. When she calls Lukas after receiving the flowers post-That’s How You Know, Jessica also asks for Jesse to come along with him to her workplace. Right after the scene where Jessica is awed by the flowers and thanks Lukas for the ball invitation in person, she calls for Jesse to have a talk with her. They have a heart-to-heart talk about how Jesse may have been separated from them since they were babies, and both confirm that he really is Jessica’s sister. Then they hug and they both cry and comfort each other as they realize they’re both family.

—> Dewey was one of Jesse’s friends back in Beaconlasia and he comes to the real world with Petra and Reuben, finds them while they’re at the park, and then stays with them when Reuben goes back to Beaconlasia

Relationships:

Green Suspenders Jesse and Lukas

They meet when Jesse falls off of a billboard and Lukas brings him back to his and Nell’s apartment to stay the night. After some initial misunderstandings with Lukas’ fiancée and coworkers, he begins to truly care about Jesse, and Jesse grows reluctant to return to his own world after realizing his feelings for Lukas.

Female Jesse and Petra

Jessica falls for Petra while they’re at the ball. Taken by surprise by Petra’s completely straightforward and earnest nature, she’s swept off her feet after Lukas falls for Jesse. The two return to Beaconlasia together and get married.

Ivor and Romeo

Ivor is entirely devoted to serving Romeo, but Romeo couldn’t care less about him. Once Ivor realizes this, he turns on him and helps Petra and Jesse defeat him.

Magnus and Ellegaard

A couple who were going to get divorced before Jesse stumbled into things and re-ignited their spark.

If you’ve never seen this movie, PLEASE check it (and the sequel) out! They’re both so good!!

EDIT!! Check the reblogs for Jelo’s half of the post :D

[genevievemd]

Hello all. I’ve risen from the dead!

I was thinking about McRam today and thought I’d give yall an update on what I HC they’re up to right now (since I still had things planned out for this time — actually I have a lot still in the planned out timeline lol)

As of October, Gen is officially a NYT Best Seller. She got her first book offer a couple months into her pregnancy and the book was published and printed in the beginning of October (said book is somewhere in my master list, I think under MC Monday)

she’s appeared on a few morning shows, including GMA to talk about it!

She and Ethan now share a publicist.

Ethan is still CoM and surprisingly still enjoying it — especially the set hours, he’s able to spend a lot more time with his daughter. He’s been offered a chance to teach at Harvard Med part time, but hasn’t taken the offer yet. He does teach a lecture or skills lab at the hospital to the interns once a month. To make sure they still have the fear of god in them like the good old days lol

Our sweet Lizzie is about to turn 4 months old this week! And have her very first Christmas!

Gen is still on maternity leave, headed back in the new year. Ethan has just returned from his paternity leave.

Idk if I mentioned it over this past year but McRam did move into a bigger apartment (in the same complex) during G’s pregnancy

Alan had a heart attack I believe in September? It’s in my notes somewhere, he’s fine.

Health aside, Alan is loving being a grandpa and Beverley is honored to be considered Lizzie’s grandma

He and Bev moved in together over the summer. They have no plans to remarry but do plan to spend the rest of their lives together.

Tobias and Camila had their second kid in July, a baby girl. I’m pretty sure I named her Margaret.

I never mentioned it — I don’t think — but they did get married. They went to the courthouse

Aurora and Ben are engaged! Planning a wedding for next year.

Sienna and Casey are pregnant finally! (After a MC earlier this past year)

Kyra and her wife Bea are in the process of moving to Italy, semi-permanently. And thinking about IVF or adoption

Raf is still in Brazil. Loving his life there.

Bryce and Natalie are enjoying life with an almost one year old! And moved into a townhome a year ago!

Jackie is still single and loving it! I have always planned for her to be single forever, and she’s 100% happy with that choice. She has relationships here and there but she’s happy single and focused on medicine.

Elijah and Phoebe are living together, he’s looking into a research position at the Mayo Clinic

Naveen is enjoying being a psuedo-grandpa to Lizzie Ramsey. And he still works on a limited, semi-retired schedule.

Gen’s mother, Marie moved to Boston earlier this year (or last year I can’t remember which) after her divorce for Gen’s father, she lives in the basement in-law apartment of Bryce and Natalie’s house

Henry and Clara are happy in Portland, thinking about having a third and final child.

Robert is still single, but getting to know his daughter, Ashely. He and Marie are getting along swimmingly these days.

Gen, Aurora, Tobias and Baz are still making up the diagnostics team and solving cases!

And one final note, McRam is returning Miami in January! Gen is going to be a keynote speaker and talk about the team and her book! Lizzie is going with them, Ethan is there as a support for his wife and nothing more and he’s never been happier about it.

That the update for yall! Happy holidays ❤️

[theworldremixed]

Fic Masterpost

I figured it's about time I did this. I mean they're all on AO3, but I figured having a Tumblr masterpost might put things in perspective as regards how much I've actually written lmao. Here we go.

Disclaimer: I mean, my writing is pretty mediocre, but I honestly find that the fandom space had to be filled out somewhat, so I started writing fic.

EarthMix

This is the pairing I've begun writing fic for again, so I have the most fics for EM.

Now unlocked. I don't think Joong is looking around for fic anymore, and certainly not on Tumblr. There are tons of unlocked fic in the tag, too, so there 'ya go!

The Stars, Our Witness 'Verse

The universe that started it all, partly as a way to archive EM activity before I became a fan, and partly as a way to stave off my delulu.

The Stars, Our Witness

Rating: E/NC17 Chapters: 16 (finished) Summary: They’re scared to cross boundaries. What happens when the lines blur? Tags: slow burn, friends to lovers, FWB, "canon rewrite" (in the sense of IRL being "canon" Warnings: divorce era. 'Nuff said.

2. supernova

Rating: E/NC17 Chapters: One-shot Summary: the same versions of 🌏 and 🪐 as in TSOW, but basically D/s pwp. Tags: pre-negotiated D/s; still a whole lot of longing.

3. of longing and loudness

Rating: E/NC17 Chapters: One-shot Summary: Oneshot set in the The Stars, Our Witness (TSOW) 'verse, and a reactionary fic post-LOL 2024. Tags: engaged!EarthMix

4. Beneath the Sunrise (in progress)

Rating: M (for now, but knowing me, this might go up) Chapters: 2 (so far, out of a slated 10) Summary: EarthMix get outed. They deal with the consequences. Tags: married!EarthMix, social media elements, bullying

General EarthMix fic

Mostly one-shots written as a reaction to a post, among other things.

laissez-faire

Rating: M Chapters: one-shot Summary: featuring Earth's obsession with mix's grey sofa Tags: engaged!EarthMix; domesticity

long distance

Rating: E/NC17 Chapters: one-shot Summary: of short reunions and busy schedules (lol honestly this has zero plot. I just missed them when they were in Japan for Happy Weekend, so I wrote a fic) Tags: PWP, quickie.

so here's the situation

Rating: E/NC17 Chapters: one-shot Summary: ~situationship~EarthMix (written after the Vivi interview had been released, and after they went on a museum simulation Van Gogh date literally the day after) Tags: situationship; we're dating but aren't together

househusbandry

Rating: G Chapters: one-shot Summary: Dreame gets EarthMix as endorsers for their vacuum. Why are they everyone's Favorite Married(TM) Couple? Tags: domesticity Note: This was written on my Notes app in like, 10 minutes, so the link is to my Twitter post to that fic.

in pari delicto (in progress; converting to prose)

OK so let me just write an author's note here. This is an unfinished Twitter social media AU because I would be writing about a topic I knew very, very well: law school. Now, I'm inclined to transform the fic to prose and transfer it to AO3 because I have no patience for the whole edit-edit concepts of socmed AUs and I honestly respect anyone who's done it. That said, I will likely continue this once I finish Beneath the Sunrise, or simultaneously as I write it.

PhuTian

Ah, ATOTS. Why do I love you so? Of course I'd write ATOTS fic.

re/live

Rating: E/NC17 Chapters: one-shot Summary: In which Tian celebrates his fifth year with his new heart in the best way. Tags: tian's birthday as an excuse to write smut, sloppy blowjobs, insecurity issues

old wives and the tales they tell

Rating: E/NC17 Chapters: one-shot Summary: Mayhaps Phupha has a kink. He refuses to validate the good Doctor Nam's speculation. Tags: domesticity kink, villager!tian, headcanon epilogue to ATOTS Note: Written in response to @earthmixsclowderofcats's Thai BL Kink Meme! Please show it some love and answer the prompts too please PLEASE!!

bad behavior

Rating: E/NC17 Chapters: one-shot Summary: Tian watches as Phupha grabs something from the nightstand – a pen? – and uncaps it. He holds Tian’s chin with one hand, and Tian feels the wet drag of the pen against his cheeks. “Chief, what are you—” “There,” Phupha says, “Whiskers.”

betwixt bewitched entanglements (in progress. might possibly discontinue.)

Rating: E/NC17 Chapters: 19 (out of a planned 15 lmao, I swear this was supposed to end earlier. Summary: Magic meets royalty meets a society walled off from the rest of the world. Tags: Royalty AU, Magic AU, political intrigue, slow burn Notes: Look. I got carried away writing this, and to be honest, the concept's flown so far away from me and the worldbuilding had been so solid in my head and I even know how this fic will end, but honestly? It's not getting engagement. That's not the sole reason for writing fic - of course not - but I'm not quite sure if it's worth my time and effort writing this out.

JimWen

10/31: So I just wrote this today woohoo!

the ebb and the flow

Rating: E Chapters: one-shot Summary: The first time after their last time. (Wen learns how to swim. Jim learns how to trust. A one-shot on the wandering thoughts of Wen and Jim as they navigate being in a relationship: the fear of stagnation, for Wen; and the fear of betrayal, for Jim.) Tags: introspective; plotless; PWP; alternate ending

OngsaSun

The first half of 23.5 excited me so elfin much that I'd write little tiny Ongsa character-explorations in between episodes. Here are the two I'd actually published.

gravity

Rating: G Chapters: one-shot Summary: Ongsa muses on the meadows of her mind. Tags: anxious!Ongsa

nightfall/daybreak

Rating: G Chapters: one-shot Summary: Ongsa is no stranger to the dark—that is, until she gives in to the light. Tags: depressed!Ongsa TW: "dark" as a metaphor for depression

[adelidae]

i want to hear about the ocs 😌

hii :] so i decided i would kind of give a broad overview of my ocs in general, there's a couple of main groups (i have too many in general to fit in one post but this includes the main ones i talk/think/write/draw about the most).

also tagging @a-vacuole because you were interested in hearing about my ocs in a broad sense :]

UNTITLED MAIN WIP

this is my oldest project! it's a fantasy story set in a kingdom where the royal family is descended from nai, the god of fire. they rule with the ability to manipulate flame and are revered as demigods by their kingdom's religion. however, not every member of the royal family has the privilege of being born with this ability.....

this story follows teo and lorelei as they enter this kingdom and attempt to track down teo's missing mother while also getting tangled up in old secrets...

relevant ocs:

- theodore "teo" troeger

- lorelei

- azar "az" adler

- veronika "ronnie" adler

- anton romanovski

- ilya (+ bonus ask from before)

- nikolaj romanovski

- evelin troeger

- & more!

SHARP TEETH

i spoke about sharp teeth in an earlier post but it's my vampire wip! it's set in a fantasy world where the sun's light is cast extremely unevenly over the surface of the world, and so certain areas are permanently cast in darkness - allowing vampires to thrive.

in the cloudy twilight of korosvet, niki is a hunter of supernatural phenomena tracking down the entity that murdered his mentor. but in the process of investigating he runs into marta and dion, vampires in disguise investigating the mysterious disappearance of their own leader...

relevant ocs:

- nikita "niki" volkov

- dion kalos

- marta săvulescu

- adela săvulescu

- lena

IMMORTALS

i've also spoken about my immortal ocs before! these guys started out as roleplay ocs but have since evolved into a greater canon of their own :]

the idea here is that it's possible to become something other than human -- something immortal -- by making a pact with certain entities. over 400 years ago, this is how oscar transcended his humanity and in the process bound his lover tobias to a cycle of reincarnation. every time tobias dies, he is reborn and oscar scours the earth to find him and restore the memory of his past lives to him and continue their romance. except.... it's not always that simple.

in his current iteration, tobias (a professor) happens to be engaged/married to a woman named alice when oscar comes across him. once it becomes clear that tobias does not intend to split from her naturally, oscar decides to take a more underhanded approach and begins to court one of alice's friends (hilde). despite the fact that alice thinks he's bad news, he says he will only leave hilde alone if tobias returns to his side. after a series of convoluted events, hilde is now a mother of twins (andy and orlando), while alice and tobias have experienced a divorce. oscar, though his goal of wooing tobias failed, is content as long as there is no-one else for him.

while oscar and tobias have their Situation, hilde's children grow up and hear whispers of their father and how he ruined the life of their mother and pretty much everyone in her life too. andy, who sees ghosts, runs away from home as a teen to chase revenge -- which leaves orlando behind to take care of their mother. eventually, with a push from his (only) friend aisling, orlando and andy reunite in a combined effort to find and kill oscar once and for all.

just realised i completely forgot to mention lilith too. she's oscar's sister, they met when he was only newly made immortal. he showed her how to make a pact and take vengeance on her abusers, and she slaughtered them all with her newfound power. their loyalty to each other is unflinching and when fighting together are pretty much impossible to defeat.

relevant ocs:

- oscar

- lilith

- tobias

- alice sinclaire

- hilde falksen

- orlando falksen

- andy falksen

- aisling o'malley

ATANI FAMILY

if you've been following me for a while you've probably seen me tag posts as darius or ophelia. Yeah they're from the atani family. technically they're characters from a wider fantasy canon but that project is HEAVILY on the backburner 👍 the atanis however make my brain whir and PARTICULARLY darius so you will probably see me discuss them at length.

there's not a particular plot for them at the moment and i'm famous for putting darius into Situations but some context is probably needed. ophelia atani is the matriarch of the atani family, and the youngest of 4 sisters (iris, faline, orianna & ophelia). despite being the youngest -- and often considered the most ditzy -- she managed to claw her way to power as the house's head and an influential figure in politics.

to this day ophelia has a reputation for being a materialistic and even hedonistic woman whose vanity rules her life. anyone who knows her well will tell you that she has a powerful presence and a strong personality, and to publically disagree with her is at your own peril.

given all of this, it shouldn't surprise you to learn that her marriages tend not to last very long. she divorced her first husband (father of her sons leon and pierre) not long after the birth of her second son, and her third son roman was born a couple of marriages later to her last official partner, gregor. her fourth and final son, darius, is ostensibly also gregor's....but rumours are hard to quell, and people have always gossiped about ophelia and her family.

while ophelia is the undisputed matriarch of the family, her son roman is by far the most popular and well-liked member of the family. a dazzling smile and polite demeanor have built him a reputation as the most personable atani and potentially the future heir to the family's political capital.

but every shining light has its shadow, and roman's shadow is darius. a career man, devoted to paperwork over people, darius has never shared his brother's easygoing charisma or radiant presence. an unimpressed look or a dismissive tilt of the head come far more naturally than smiles or grand, sweeping gestures. while roman rallies the people, darius works behind the scenes. while roman attends galas, darius makes deals that stay under the table.

despite being brothers, there is no love lost between them. raised in a society where competition is encouraged, they use each other to grow more powerful before their enemies can eat them.

this is also the kind of dynamic darius shares with luc, a fellow young aristocrat with a shady reputation. despite his father adrian's reputation as a paragon of justice, luc is a smuggler and supplier of black market goods among the upper echelon of society. he and darius are useful to each other for the time being -- darius grants luc some protection in his endeavours, and in return luc gets his hands dirty so that darius doesn't have to. but a relationship like this between two liars is destined not to last long.

relevant ocs:

- ophelia atani

- gregor atani

- leon atani

- pierre atani

- roman atani

- darus atani

- adrian wolfe

- antoine lucius "luc" wolfe

D&D OCS

i love my d&d ocs SO MUCH. so they're included here too :] they're all from different campaigns so their overviews will be Very Brief but i hope my love for them is obvious :]

JUSTICE GOLDENLIGHT (19) is a red tiefling assassin who belongs to an assassin's guild run by her father, patience. justice has been honed into a perfect assassin since she was young, and in the wake of her brother benevolence's disappearance she is her father's most valuable tool.

JULIEN ANAIVE (20) is an elven cleric raised by a high priestess of the war goddess. left on the doorstep of the temple and raised as a holy warrior of the temple, jules has always been uncomfortable with the pressure and expectations placed on her by the overbearing high priestess and eventually escapes her control with the power of a holy relic of the war goddess. now she is being chased across the sea by powerful bounty hunters and is forced to not use her magic in order to avoid being tracked.

SETI THE BRIGHT (60s) is an orc paladin, a knight, and the personal bodyguard of princess nebetah of the river kingdom. famous for her powerful deeds during her lifetime, scandal occurs when she is framed for the murder of the king and banished. now, using the name rainier, she is on the hunt for the true culprit so she can return to the side of her beloved wife, the princess.

ISAAC ASTOR (28) is a half-elf arcane trickster with a pied-winged swallow familiar, and technically also a college dropout. raised in comfortable wealth, he coasted through magic school on his own talent until he caught wind of the school board's decision to expel him. in college by this point, he recruits a classmate with a special interest in magic theory (sebastian valentini) to help him develop a more reliable version of a magical technique outlawed for its notorious danger. spoiler alert: isaac dies. their lab explodes and isaacs body is stolen from the scene before the authorities can lock it down.....and he is revived by a mysterious organisation that promises him he can stay alive as long as he promises not to contact his family/friends and completes dangerous tasks for them.

-

WOW!!! that was fucking long actually. if you read this far i love you and thank you for reading :] let me know what you think, if you have a favourite or if anything caught your interest <333

[wisteria-tarot]

Can you do a reading on Selena Gomez? She just got engaged is that gonna end well? Married or ended engagement? Or married and divorced in the future?

Thank youuu 💐

Disclaimer: This reading is only for entertainment. Take it with a grain of salt. These are my personal interpretations of the cards with a sprinkle of intuition. Tarot is not set in stone it is not the end all be all of someones life.

Will it end well?

ace of cups (rx), ace of pentacles (rx), 8 of cups (rx), the hanged man, 6 of swords (rx):

There may be difficulty in forming a deep emotional bond or experiencing mutual love in the way that both parties might want. There may be missed opportunities for growth or a sense that the relationship isn't rooted in something secure. Someone is staying in the relationship out of habit or fear of change, even though it's no longer emotionally fulfilling. There is a sense of waiting for clarity, but it can also indicate a lack of action or inability to make a final decision. The relationship may face significant emotional hurdles or unfinished business that prevent it from reaching a peaceful resolution.

Will they go through with the marriage?

4 of swords (rx), 2 of wands, 5 of swords (rx), 7 of pentacles:

The couple may be feeling pressured or experiencing doubts that are not being fully addressed. There is likely a sense of uncertainty about whether they are ready to take the next step, but also a desire to explore what it might bring. The couple is trying to resolve old disagreements or make amends before going forward with the marriage. There may be a sense of reevaluating what they have built together and considering whether they have invested enough emotionally, practically, and financially for the marriage to be successful.

How does he really feel about her?

4 of pentacles, 10 of swords, 7 of wands, the hermit:

He might be afraid to let go or open up fully, and there may be a tendency to guard his emotions or keep things to himself. He may feel as though the relationship has caused him a great deal of emotional pain, and this could be influencing his current feelings toward her. He may feel like he has to fight for what he believes or stand his ground, possibly because of disagreements or external pressures. He could be feeling confused, unsure, or in need of personal space to determine what he wants from the relationship.

How does she really feel about him?

page of wands (rx), 3 of swords, 5 of pentacles, 6 of pentacles (rx):

She could feel that the connection lacks the excitement or passion she was hoping for, and there may be a sense of stagnation or unmet potential. She may be struggling to cope with feelings of loss or grief in the relationship. She could be feeling unseen or unsupported by him, leading to a sense of emotional poverty or loneliness. She could feel that she is putting more into the relationship than she is receiving, leading to feelings of resentment or discontent.

[writers-in-moominvalley]

Give me your headcannons and you own takes on The Jumble and The Fuddler,

I think the whole ass divorce arc that jumble and fuddler had was so unnecessary? Like dont get me wrong i love a good arguement with couples and see how they handle it in media, but the way lars or tove (idk who wrote it i think it was lars) but yeah tf?? It was so weird and made me really mad idk i think that was unnecessary

also love your blog sm stay moominous!!

ALSO HERE'S MY OWN DESIGN OF THE JUMBLE I MADE A WHOLE POST ABT IT AIRIWNDOMQOANDIQOSNEIW

Firstly, AWWWWW SHE'S SO CUTE THANKS FOR SHARING!!!

Secondly, honestly? I don't tend to evaluate stories based on "necessity", as you could make the argument that any story unnecessary.

Lars' comics are weird in that their vibes went off the rails after the first couple of stories, and no matter what questionable content he's made over the 15 years he's worked on the strip alone I don't blame him for reaching deep into the pits of his psyche when he's metaphorically been held at gunpoint for the sake of a job.

Fuddler and Married Life seemed like a particularly, uncomfortably personal story about a relationship that started out great and then fell apart once societal expectations of marriage were thrusted upon them.

We don't really have detailed information on Lars' relationship with his late wife, Nita, and Nita died when their daughter Soohia was only 6 years old - I've read a Guardian interview with Sophia where she says the Janssons never really discussed Nita because she was a very depressing person to talk about, so maybe that's why, but Lars seems to express a very specific kind of resentment in both Fuddler and Married Life and Moomin Engagement. Whether those stories really are a reflection of his relationship with Nita, I can't say at all, but it reads as concerning especially when the thesis of the story is that couples like Fuddler and Jumble are better off not having children because of how stressful they are to the inexperienced couple.

It's upsetting to see a cute couple like Fuddler and Jumble fall apart over something like marriage, trust me, it felt weird to witness it for the first time myself, but in retrospect that story in particular came from a very personal experience and it feels more meaningful to view it that way than through the lens of what you wanted the characters to end up with their relationship.

It's a story about how marriage and children really isn't for everyone, and it's interesting to think about especially given the time it came out (1963) and who exactly wrote it.

[mpregandproud]

Isaac (Part 1)

Life can change a lot in a very short time. I had a wife. A very orderly life. But it turns out that in an instant everything changed for me. What I thought would last forever vanished, never to return. I found myself lost, aimless... until Isaac appeared in my life. Let me tell you this story from the beginning.

It's safe to say that I've always loved women. In high school I was a very popular guy, and no girl could resist my charms. During the years I was in high school I dated all the girls. My friends and soccer teammates were envious of me. And it wasn't that I was a flirt. I didn't really have to do anything special.

My father, who is a very modern person for some things and very old-fashioned for others, always told me that I should be with a lot of girls. Whenever I introduced them to a girlfriend he always complimented me. It made them feel uncomfortable, also me deep down. My mother is more reserved. I know she would prefer that I had found a steady girlfriend and wasn't dating a different one every day.

I went to college to study computer science. Getting out of my hometown helped me meet new people, and that's when I met Sandra. A girl my age, tall, brown-haired, light-eyed and very self-confident. She had a very strong character, but I immediately fell in love with her. The crush was instantaneous. With her I could say that I finally found love. And, best of all, the connection was mutual. We loved each other.

That year I quit the college soccer team. I wanted to devote all my time to Sandra, go out with her, go to the movies together, take her out to dinner. Who would have believed it, the high school womanizer was such a romantic. Soon after we got engaged and that same summer we got married. We were very young, I know, but when your heart tells you to do something, you have to follow it.

When I told my mother it was the happiest day of her life. She had always dreamed of seeing me married and making her a grandmother. My father was not so enthusiastic about it, but I know that deep down he saw Sandra as a good woman for his son.

In the summer, when school was out, we got married in a tiny ceremony in Sandra's hometown. We invited a few family members, my parents and her parents, some cousins and a couple of friends. We didn't need anything spectacular, we just wanted to seal our love. It was the most beautiful day in the world. We were married. We were already husband and wife.

With the savings we had we rented a small apartment near the university. In the mornings we went to class and in the afternoons we worked to pay the rent. We never had many luxuries. We didn't need them. For three years that was our life, studying, working and, at night, loving. An idyllic life if you ask me. All day long we were together, we were inseparable.

But as I told you, life gave me a setback. Everything suddenly vanished. We were at the peak of our relationship when Sandra returned one day from her internship at a law firm with some papers in her hand. In tears she told me that our marriage was over, that she wanted a divorce. I was paralyzed, I never imagined that this could happen to me. I asked her for an explanation. "I have fallen in love with Peter, my boss. And, besides, I'm expecting a baby from him," she assured me. She had been unfaithful to me with her boss and was going to be a mom without me. The house of cards that was my life immediately collapsed.

She put the divorce papers on the kitchen table and made me sign them. I was signing it as memories of three years together and the many plans I had for our relationship came flooding into my head. In a matter of a few hours I went from being the man with the best relationship in the world to being divorced. Was I living a lie all this time? Was she really in love with me when she got married?

For the next few weeks it was impossible for me to go outside. I would just go to work and back. I didn't want to talk to anyone, just lay in bed, cry, watch sad movies and eat non-stop. I've always been a glutton, I was chubby as a child, and that's why I started playing soccer. In adolescence I grew a lot and gained muscle, it was part of my success with girls. It's true that since I stopped playing sports when I met Sandra I put on a little weight, but never as much as in those weeks. In just two weeks I gained 50 pounds from eating chips, ice cream and milkshakes all day. My life was miserable, divorced and with a beer belly that looked like I was pregnant.

One day my cousin Alfred called me. He has always cared so much about me. He is the member of my family with whom I have had the best connection. We shared our love of soccer and he was also a flirt. Alfred invited me to go to soccer with him and I said yes. I don't know why I said yes that time and not the 358 previous times he tried to get me out of the apartment. I think deep down I wanted to be in a stadium full of people where my misfortunes were not the main attraction.

I arrived at the stadium before Alfred. Not that he was ever very punctual, but that time he was so late that the game started without him being at the stadium. It was ten minutes after the start of the game when I get an SMS from him saying that he has met a girl and that he won't be able to come to the soccer with me. He must be a bastard. Damn it. I'm alone in a soccer stadium while my flirty cousin is with a girl he just met. And, if that wasn't bad enough, this whole situation reminded me that I was alone. I started to cry.

At that precise moment, the guy next to me turned and gave me a tissue to wipe my tears. I didn't know anything about him, but I accepted. I wiped my tears and saw the black haired boy, with a strong gym body and deep voice. He smiled at me and told me his name was Isaac.

He stopped paying attention to the game and started making conversation with me. He told me that he came to the games alone because his friends are not big into soccer. He told me that it was rare for a gay man to be a soccer fan. I told him that my plan was to go with Alfred, whom he knew from years of watching soccer side by side.

After the game he invited me for a beer at a bar near the stadium. We drank one, and then another, and then another. Isaac was an excellent talker, and for some unknown reason, this man telling his stories made me feel at peace. He told me he was a university professor and taught literature. He was barely 30 years old, a few years older than me. He had traveled to Europe and Asia, had been to many countries, liked to cook, read, listen to music and go to the movies. I felt as if I could talk to him about anything, he would understand me. At the end of the night he invited me to go with him to the next game and I accepted immediately.

For a few weeks I went with him to soccer. We were soccer friends. I felt more and more comfortable with him, more relaxed than I have ever been in my life. I told him the drama of my life and he gave me advice on how to get out of the pit. He also had some disappointment in love that was hard to overcome. During my bad streak I ate non-stop, in his case he started doing crossfit.

After a few months of dating regularly, he asked me if I wanted to live with him. He had a big apartment and his tenant had moved out. He had a spare room and thought of me to live with him. I had been paying the rent on my own for three months for the apartment I shared with Sandra. This invitation came at the perfect time. It seemed like the best possible idea to leave behind the last memory of my marriage to Sandra. It was what I needed to start a new life.

Living together was phenomenal from day one. We hit it off very well. We still went to soccer together, yes, but now we did almost everything together. We did the grocery shopping, ate dinner and watched TV together. He started helping me lose weight with some easy exercises that we did together as well. And, if that wasn't enough, he introduced me to his group of friends. I met Bruce, Ken, Tom and Justin, he called them “my family”. They were very close and saw each other all the time. From day one I felt very comfortable with them and they with me. They would make jokes and call me "Isaac's boyfriend".

I never took those jokes badly. I knew they were just that, jokes. But little by little something in my heart began to tell me that what I was looking for in Isaac was not friendship, it was something more. I began to see this man who saved me from depression with different eyes. I noticed more and more his body, his lips, his eyes or his ass. I stopped seeing Sandra in my dreams and started dreaming about Isaac. I was falling in love with him.

Is it normal for a person who has always considered himself straight to be attracted to his male best friend? My head was going to explode if I didn't do something. I had to get it out of my head.

One night, while we were watching a movie together I took the initiative. I gently grabbed his hand. He turned his head and looked at me. I knew from the look in his eyes that he was looking forward to it too. I didn't hesitate for a moment, took his face with both hands and gave him the most passionate kiss I have ever given in my life. The moment our lips came into contact, a feeling of peace ran through my body. I felt warm. I felt like I was in the place I was meant to be. Isaac made me feel complete in a way that none of the girls I had ever been with had before.

The kiss led us to the bed. Before I knew it we were undressing and lying on the bed. I, who had never had sex with a man before, experienced that moment quite naturally. My body was guiding me at all times. Everything was flowing.

We fucked non-stop for hours. My hands ran over every inch of his body and his tongue felt the taste of my skin. Since I had put on so much weight I had lost the confidence I always had in myself, but Isaac made me feel deeply desired and sexy. He played with my belly and my man boobs as I gasped endlessly. He finished on my cock, of course, giving me the best blowjob I've ever been given.

Then he turned me around and went to my ass. He asked me if I was sure and I, without hesitating, said yes, I wanted it to work, although I won't deny that I was a little afraid of my first time. He came inside me. I can't describe that feeling in words. A shiver ran through my whole body. My body trembled with pleasure. I had never felt like that before. Something in my head clicked.

Since that day we are no longer friends but boyfriends. We shared an apartment, hobbies and a relationship. We told his friends and they reacted quite naturally. My college friends took it very well too. "Before you were with Sandra I thought you were gay, and while you were with her I was convinced you were bisexual. I'm glad I wasn't wrong," said Ray, a guy who was also gay and who told me about gaydar or something like that.

Everything was going perfect until one day. While we were fucking, Isaac told me that my belly felt firmer than usual. I thought it must be from the exercise we were doing every afternoon. I felt more and more bloated and in the mornings I felt terrible. I would get out of bed every morning and run to the bathroom to throw up. Something was happening to me.

I made an appointment with the doctor and after asking me what was wrong, he made me lie down on the table and did an ultrasound. "Congratulations, there's nothing wrong with you. You're pregnant," he told me with a smile. "What, how could I possibly be pregnant if I'm a man?" I said very upset and scared. "Calm down. Pregnancy in men is a very rare occurrence. In the world there have been about a thousand cases at most, although in recent years the number has grown a lot. Some men, like you, are born with the ability to carry babies inside. When a man has sex with another man and has this ability that you have, it is possible for you to get pregnant," he said as he removed the gel from my belly. "In a few weeks I want you to visit a clinic that specializes in pregnancies, the doctor there will follow up on your pregnancy," the doctor said to end the appointment.

I left not knowing what to say. And the worst part was that I didn't know how Isaac would take it. We've never talked about having children. We've only been dating for a month and we're already going to be parents. And if all this wasn't enough, if I'm already feeling my belly swell, it's possible that more than one baby is growing inside me.

It's funny that my marriage ended because Sandra got pregnant by another man and now I'm pregnant by another man too.

Go to Part 2

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

what is your second most favorite otp from any series?

AAAAAAHHHHH, DON'T DO THIS TO ME! There are some many pairings I love in so many books, movies, series, soap-operas, etc.

*sighs* Okay, gun to my head, there's three, in no particular order that I absolutely ADORE, have made me cry, and that I legitimately don't understand how anyone could watch these shows and not ship them (spoilers for Friends, How I Met Your Mother and The Borgias, respectively)

Monica and Chandler

Because I was just 4-years-old when Friends final season was aired, I already knew these two were going to be endgame when I watched the show - and it didn't take long for me to see the appeal, even when they were still supposed to be just friends.

They're just so affectionate with each other right from the start, cuddling on the couch, helping each other out - and Chandler just casually says stuff like "If neither of us is married when we're fourty, I'm totally willing to marry and have a kid with you just so you get the family you want" and actively tries PROVE to her he is boyfriend material and they make a game out of it??????? Genius. Perfect. Amazing.

And then it happens, they hook up and right away they're couple goals. Can't keep their hands off each other, are super clingy, all of their friends find them ridiculously adorable, Chandler matures A LOT and Monica is very patient with him because she knows he's used to hiding any emotional turmoil behind a sarcastic joke, and they can joke about and tease each other without either of them being too mean or too sensitive.

Also their conflicts never last more than one or two episodes and they never break up after first getting together, and it was a breath of fresh air coming from the same show that gave us Ross and Rachel.

Barney and Robin

They have INSANE chemistry, Robin was the only woman Barney was truly willing to change for, and Barney was the one guy Robin was with that ever truly liked her for who she was.

They. Deserved. So. Much. Better.

Seriously, I can't get over how unfair their ending was. There's a reason I tell Zutarians to give this show a watch before they complain about how their ship, that was never even canon, was "robbed of it's happy ending."

We see Barney and Robin being teased as potentially having at least a fling someday as early as season 1, they finally hook up in season 3, season 4 is all about him struggling with being in love with her, seasons 5-7 are all about them dating then breaking up while still being very much in love yet never properly reconciliating because life gets in the way, season 8 is them getting engaged and being adorably happy together, the 9th and final season is THE WEEKEND OF THEIR WEDDING and them working through every last issue they still have to make sure they will a long, happy life together as a married couple...

Then the finale goes and says "Actually, they divorced off-screen because their hotel room had no wi-fi. Sorry." WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? It's really no wonder the network cancelled the planned spin-off right after the finale aired.

Cesare and Lucrezia

Ah yes, a Nichya list of great ships includes a pair of siblings, specifically Older Brother X Young Sister, who would have thought? This time a kind of, sort of historical one! (Seriously, The Borgias is the kind of over-dramatic, historically inaccurate period piece I love wasting my time with, and the aesthetic is incredible).

Even as someone who is very into that kind of dynamic and that knew the show was gonna go there, I was still SHOCKED at how unsubtle is right from the start - especially once I found out the writer didn't want to play up the sexual tension originally.

Somehow, the first time we see these two on screen, Lucrezia is spying on her brother as he has sex and once he notices he playfully chases her around the garden, berating her for spying on him AGAIN, and then when they're on the ground together he just casually admits to loving her more than he loves God????????????????????????????? NORMAL SIBLING BEHAVIOR, EVERYBODY! NOTHING WEIRD GOING ON HERE!

I adore how protective (and possessive) Cesare is of her, ready to commit murder at the very thought of a man mistreating her - yet he is still willing to step aside when he thinks she found a good man, because nothing matters to him more than Lucrezia's happiness, not even his own. It just so happens that he always has to step in again because nobody loves her quite to insane degree he does, and thus she only feels truly safe, happy and loved with him, hence her saying "Only a Borgia can truly love a Borgia."

And they, legitimately, are insepareble. They're always close to each other, holding hands, hugging, cuddling, KISSING - all long before they're ready to admit, even to themselves that they're in love.

They are so clueless about what level of physical affection is normal between relatives that they made out in front of her husband and were surprised he found out about their incestuous affair.

And more importantly, thanks to the show being cancelled after season 3 instead of getting the planned fourth season, they never broke up! The show literally ends with them in each other's arms, accepting their love. I couldn't have asked for literally anything else.