#my old married/divorced/engaged couple

[coff33andb00ks]

Hazy Days - LN

summary: summer fling, don't mean a thing pairing: lando norris x divorced!reader word count: 3.6k warnings: non-explicit smut (mdni), older woman a.n.: fuck quadrant's summer scope vids song: summer nights from Grease

You're doing it again. It's been over a year now and you're still rubbing your ring finger with your thumb. You're not as quite as surprised when you don't feel the rings, and when you look down you're relieved to see that the pale patch of skin has disappeared. I've got to buy a ring, you think. Because, despite everything, you still feel weird without a ring on that finger.

You give your head a shake. The marriage is over. It was over before it officially began, but the divorce has been finalized for almost a month. The settlement is in your account – it's how you're paying for this spontaneous trip.

You're no longer a married woman. A terrifying thought, even now, when your entire identity for nearly 10 years was wife. And now…

Now you don't know what you are.

So you packed a bag, bought a plane ticket on a whim, and now you're at some seaside hotel in the south of France. You're looking out at the people on the beach, and further out at the yachts dotting the Mediterranean.

A place you've always wanted to visit and now you're frozen in the hotel room, scared to death that you won't enjoy it. Like a decadent dessert you've thought about all day that tastes like an old candy bar when you finally get a bite. Like the new Louboutin pumps you'd wanted for your birthday two years ago that had pinched your toes and you haven't worn since.

You've built this up in your head and now you're afraid it won't live up to your expectations.

Babes, enjoy it. This is gonna be so healing for you.

Your best friend's words ring in your mind and you reach for the phone to call her for more reassurance, then remember the time difference. She loves you, but she won't appreciate a phone call this early unless it's an emergency.

"God, get over it. You're not the only newly divorced woman in the world," you mutter to yourself, turning away from the window to finish dressing. You want to do some exploring, get plenty of photos to share, maybe find a few souvenirs.

Your thumb slides over your ring finger as you exit the hotel a little while later and you sigh, turning back to ask the concierge of a nice jewelry store. When you tell him you're interested in purchasing a ring, he knows the perfect place and soon you're on your way, strolling along the winding streets.

The afternoon sun is hot and you breathe a sigh of relief once you step into the shop. The interior or hushed and you're aware of the clerks' eyes all moving to you. A couple young men at the counter are chatting and laughing, not paying attention to you at all, and you venture further into the shop.

The men are looking at bracelets, and a smartly dressed clerk is more than happy to show you the rings, leading you to a low counter and inviting you to sit in the cushioned chair.

"Oh… No, not anything like a wedding or engagement ring," you say as a tray of sparkling diamond rings is brought out. "I… I recently got divorced and I need something to replace my rings. Something that looks nothing like a wedding ring?"

From behind you, you can hear the two men murmuring, their English accents oddly comforting after three days of hearing only French voices. You finally narrow the selection down to two and are trying to decide when movement out the corner of your eye snags your attention.

It's one of the men, peering at necklaces. You steal a glance at him – handsome, well dressed, a head of dark curls – and look back at the rings when he turns his head, embarrassed to be caught looking.

You're focusing on the rings, trying them on and testing out how they feel against your thumb, when he speaks.

"I think the other one looks better."

Jerking your head up, you find yourself looking into a pair of brilliant green eyes.

It's so fucking unfair that his lashes are so pretty.

"Do you?" you ask, looking back at the rings.

"Yeah – unless you want something flashy?"

He's moved close enough you can smell his cologne.

He even smells divine. So fucking unfair.

You switched rings and nodded. "Flashy isn't really me… I'll take this one," you tell the clerk.

The man smiles. "Getting used to a ring?"

"Ah… No," you chuckle. "Can't get used to not having one."

His smile dies and a look of panic flashes over his face. "Um… Sorry?"

You almost laugh. Giving your head a shake, you watch the clerk wrap the ring and wait for her to return. "Don't be."

"Oh," he murmured, smile returning and sliding into a grin. "Congratulations, then."

This time you do laugh. "Thanks."

He gives you a look as the clerk returns, and before you can reach for your wallet he's already handing over his card. You open your mouth to protest but he tips his head. "A congratulations gift," he insists.

His friend approaches, giving you a friendly nod. "What are we congratulating?"

You smile weakly. "The end of my marriage."

"Divorce?" he asks. When you nod, he smirks. "The best thing about marriage, honestly."

"Max."

"What am I supposed to say?" Max protests, holding up his hands.

The first man groans. "You're such a – cheers," he says when the clerk brings his card back. "Let's go before you embarrass me even more."

You're smiling at their banter as you thank the clerk for her assistance. When you stand to make your way out, he's waiting near the door.

"Buy you a drink?" he offers as he opens the door for you.

His name is Lando. Max – pain in my ass – is obviously his best friend and doesn't join you for drinks as he's got to get packed up to leave. When you suggested Lando spend time with him before he goes home, Lando waved it off.

"He lives in England but I see him all the time."

Lando, it turns out, does not live in England. He looks almost embarrassed when you ask where he lives, and when he finally mutters that he lives in Monaco your eyes widen. Surely he's too young to be that well off?

Trust fund, probably. Now you don't feel so bad for his paying for the ring.

"That must be… Interesting," you say, taking a sip of your drink. He's brought you to a chic bar at the beach, and you're sitting on the upper terrace, the slowly sinking sun casting a golden glow over the water.

"I don't really get much time there." He fiddles with the stirrer in his drink. "I'm gone a lot."

Interest piqued, you set your glass down. "Oh?" Maybe he's a model, even if he is a little on the short side. Not that he's that short – he's definitely taller than you. "What do you do?"

"I drive cars." He ducks his head briefly. "Racecars."

"Really? I'm not… I'm a dumb American, the only racing I really know is the Indy 500?"

He laughs, shaking his head. "That's IndyCar."

You listen, fascinated, as he tells you about formula one, which you have heard about but it's not in your orbit. He seems both relieved and amused at the fact you're not into sports, and you can feel him relax as he laughs when you tell him you only watch the Super Bowl every year so you can eat a ton of junk food.

A drink turns into a few, and he's so nice to listen to, so easy to talk to. When he suggests dinner, you hesitate. You don't want to be that woman, newly divorced and falling into bed with the first man that looks at you. Especially one so young—

"How old are you?" you blurt.

It obviously surprises him and, though he was halfway out of his seat he sank back down. "How old are you?"

You refuse to play coy, to fish for compliments like you're desperate. "I'm thirty."

His eyebrows lift. "Twenty-four."

So not that young. More like… younger.

Lando gives you a smile. "Does that cancel dinner?"

You look into his eyes for a long moment then glance out at the view. There's an obvious fork in the road in front of you. One leads to something with this handsome racecar driver, and you have a feeling it's going to be more than dinner. The other leads to the rest of your solo vacation, with the cloud of what could be lingering. Looking at him again, you slowly breathe in.

Expensive cologne. Salt air.

"I'd love dinner," you say, and his smile rivals the setting sun.

You'll never be able to describe the meal you ate. Lando makes it nearly impossible to focus on anything but him. Not in a demanding way. He's just… Magnetic. He tells you stories about his career, about embarrassing moments and highs and lows and talks about his other ventures. How does he have time to sleep? He talks glowingly about Max and has you giggling into your wine over a story of the two of them getting into trouble that left Lando locked out of his parents' home. When he apologizes for talking so much you almost beg him to not stop. But he asks about you, and you can't help thinking he seems genuinely interested.

"My life isn't half as interesting as yours," you say with a shake of your head.

"I don't know… You're divorced, halfway around the world, having dinner with a strange guy. Seems interesting to me," he murmurs.

"Oh, it's a tale as old as time. Girl meets boy, girl falls in love and gives up everything… Girl becomes a woman, boy becomes a toad."

Lando winced. "No kissing to turn him into a prince?"

"He'd have to want the kiss for that to happen."

"What a fucking idiot," Lando says.

You tilt your head to the side. "For being a toad?"

"For not wanting your kiss."

You set your glass down with a surprised gulp. About to call him out for feeding you a line, you pause, seeing the glimmer in his eyes. Without thinking you lick your lips and see his gaze dip down briefly. You don't know what to say or how to react so you sit there, unable to refrain from thinking about how a kiss from Lando would feel.

"His loss." Lando's voice was barely above a murmur. Then, shockingly, his cheeks darken and his tongue darts over his lips. He looks down at his plate and you can hear his sigh before he looks up, his expression serious. "You gave up everything?"

"A slight exaggeration, really." You shrug, picking at your food. "I had dreams that I put on hold to help him achieve his."

"I've never been married. But, like…" He sighs, setting his fork down. "That doesn't seem fair?"

"Life isn't—"

"I know, but marriage isn't life is it?" His face screws up at that but he forges ahead. "Isn't the whole point of it to support and help each other achieve their dreams?"

Smiling sadly, you nod. "I thought it was. He thought different."

"What dreams did you put on hold?" he asks after a moment.

"I wanted to get published." You look down at your half-eaten food. "When I was a kid, I loved reading and making up stories… I was studying for my degree in English – I planned to teach writing while working on my novels, because it's hard to make money doing it at first, and… Now it's too late."

"Why do you say that?"

"I'd have to go back to school and—"

"Yeah? Would you have to start over completely?"

"No." You can't remember how many credit hours you have left, but it would only take a phone call or an email to find out. "I wasn't too far from my degree."

"Then what's stopping you?" he challenged softly.

You don't have an answer. Nothing but the fear of failing, and you don't know him well enough to admit that.

"I don't read." He winces a bit at the admission. "Dyslexic, yeah? It's a miracle I finished school. But anyway. You write a novel and I promise to read it."

A smile pulls at your lips. "You'd do that for me? Someone you don't even know?"

"Of course." He grins. "I believe in supporting the arts."

He drives you back to the hotel in his sleek sportscar and for once you understand the allure of a purring engine and soft leather seats. There's no impending pressure when he offers to see you to your room, only the heat of his hand at the small of your back and the enticing scent of his cologne.

At your door, he hesitates. "Can I kiss you?"

Has anyone ever asked your consent for a kiss? You don't think so and the realization makes you sad, but you push that away because you've wanted him to kiss you since halfway through dinner.

His lips are a lighted match to kindling. The heat and desire are immediate and you're leaning into him, frightened by the strength of your want but craving more. It's been an embarrassingly long time since you've felt this way and you're aware that it may be even longer before you feel it again. So when the door finally clicks open you don't hesitate to step inside, pausing and reluctantly breaking the kiss to look up at him.

And wish you'd googled how to invite a man into your hotel room without sounding desperate.

But you don't have to ask.

"Okay to come in?" he whispers.

"God yes," you gasp.

His lips are on yours before the door closes behind him. Wrapping your arms around him, you sink into the kiss, snatching in breaths as his hands cradle your head. A soft whine is muffled against his tongue as you grip the front of his shirt, knees nearly forgotten as the tenderness of his touch wars the ferocity of his kiss.

"Fuck," he mumbles against your lips, his hands beginning to wander, molding you closer against him, his breath hitching as he clutches your hips. He pulls his head back slightly and you can feel his harsh breathing as he stares at you before crashing his lips to yours again.

The need grows stronger, almost primal, and you're backing towards the bed, gasping as his hands pull at your dress, nearly ripping it. Craving the feel of his skin, you do the same to his shirt, barely noticing the trail of clothing on the floor, too focused on his touch and his smell and the decadence of his kiss. He guides you down, swallowing your gasp as your bare skin touches the cool sheets.

Breaking the kiss with a harsh moan, he braces his hands on either side of you and lifts up slightly. He's panting, lips parted, and he gives a soft chuckle of surprise. "I didn't plan on this."

You lick your lips, still tasting him. And only craving more. "Neither did I."

He blinks, eyes almost wild as they dart from yours to your lips and back again. And all you can think—

Beautiful. Breathtakingly so. You know it'll never happen but the romantic inside you wishes you could wake up to his eyes every morning.

He leans down, and his kiss sends every coherent thought away. His skin is warm beneath your fingers, his hair softer than you thought it would be. His hands are rough but gentle at the same time, in your hair and trailing down your sides. Your name is a longing moan vibrating against your throat as you trace the muscles of his back.

"Lando," you gasp, arching beneath him.

"I know… I know." Hot breath at your ear, fingers digging into your thigh. Guiding your leg over his hip.

"Please." It's a soft moan.

"Fuck." His lips move to yours, his gasping whimper muffled.

The frantic need is still there but he's unhurried, as though he's trying to memorize every breath, every touch. When your hand flies out to grasp the sheet his hand follows, fingers threading between yours and gripping tightly. You're lost in the haze, sweat forming between you, sheets twisting. Ecstasy rises, peaks, and it's so sudden and delicious your cries ring out.

"Y/n." A desperate whine that only increases the bliss.

Rolling, twisting, arching. It's feverish and needy and so good so so good.

You both collapse, your hands in his sweat-damp hair. Panting, tingling, you wait for the awkwardness that never comes. His touch is tender, his lips gentle on yours before he's pulling away, murmuring that he'll get a towel. He's back before you can catch your breath, and by the time you can breathe he's kissing you again.

The sky outside is turning gray when you both breathlessly agree to get some sleep. You half expect him to leave, but he's there when you wake up, sleeping on his stomach next to you, his arm slung across your waist, his gentle snores telling you he's fast asleep.

And though you distinctly remember him saying he was going back to Monaco that day, he sticks around. Blushes and shrugs when you ask him about it over lunch, then suggests borrowing a friend's yacht for the night. The days bleed into the nights, a blurred span of time of sightseeing, swimming, and Lando.

When it's time for you to pack up to go home you feel a little bereft. But the vacation can't last forever. You've got to go back to real life, figure out how you'll live as a completely free woman. And he's got to get back to his life, jetting around the world and undoubtedly breaking hearts.

You exchange numbers and he promises to keep in touch, but you know you'll be forgotten before your plane takes off. You've been a pleasant distraction for his summer break, nothing more.

You're about to board when your phone buzzes with an incoming text. From Lando.

- You dropped your ring in my car.

As you stare at the words, you realize you haven't rubbed your ring finger in nearly a week. A picture appears on the screen, the ring – that he bought – resting in his palm.

- Hold onto it for me?

He won't. He'll give it away or sell it or take it back to the shop.

But, when you're back home and have exchanged texts with him and even a couple phone calls – yes I promise I contacted an advisor, I'm signing up for classes – and he lets you know his break is over and he's getting back to work, you cave and pull up footage of him in an interview.

He looks different on the screen of your laptop. Good, but different. And you can only focus on the necklace that's just visible under his (hideous really) orange shirt. When he leans, it shifts, and you see it.

Your ring.

"Are you still hung up on her?"

Lando's head snaps up at Max's question. "What?"

His friend gestures to the phone in Lando's hand. "That American?"

He feels his cheeks heat and realizes Max knows he's looking at your Instagram. "I'm not hung up."

Max just looks at him.

"I'm just checking on her," he mutters.

With a sigh, Max softens and sits next to him. "It's okay to like her, you know."

He huffs, his hand reaching to fiddle with the ring on his necklace. "She was just supposed to be a fling."

"But she wasn't," Max says after a moment.

Lando shakes his head. "I don't know," he whispers.

Silence lingers, stretches as his thumb hovers over your most recent post.

Then, softly. "Am I stupid?"

Max shoots him a look.

"For thinking it was special," he adds before his friend can insult him. "For thinking she thinks it was special."

"Was it special?"

He swallows hard, rolling the ring between his fingers as he looks at the post, a photo of a cup of coffee next to a laptop. Up past my bedtime parsing Austen. Liking it, he closes the app and locks his phone.

Was it special? Or was it just the great sex and no strings that had him thinking it was? At first, in those days immediately after you'd left, he'd only thought about the sex. How freeing it had been, knowing he wouldn't see you again and could let inhibitions go. But with each week that passed the sex wasn't the only thing he thought about.

Laughter and sunshine. Salty air and sweet conversation. Honeyed voice and understanding eyes.

He lifts his head, meeting Max's eyes. He doesn't have to say it. Max has known him for more than half his life. But he answers.

"Yes."

Taglist:

@maxlarens | @driverlando | @leodette | @forzalando | @captainreecejames | @d3kstar | @frenchyjuju | @irishmanwhore | @warrensluvr | @tpwkstiles | @mcmuppet | @eveninggstar | @noooway555 | @bookishnerd1132 | @skeleton-elly | @trisharee | @littlegrapejuice

[jclolz22]

multi bot release — 25 bots for 2025

thank you for 777 (this originally said 700+ so you can see the growth i've had even while plotting this release) followers on c.ai!! and thank you all for the continued support!! it truly means so, so much to me, and i'm very excited to finally be releasing more bots, and i hope you enjoy!

everyone cheer because i actually did 10+ of my requests

this has been in the making for a little over a couple weeks now, and it’s upped to 25 thanks to @w4dows and her genius idea of doing 25 bots for the upcoming year! it was a lot but i loved doing it with you <3

they're listed in alphabetical order (like always) and categorized by the movie/show that they’re from.

includes: challengers, glee, grey's anatomy, misc. (bridgerton, moana 2, twilight, wicked)

p.s. to all my gleeks, i see you and this is glee heavy for that very reason <33

p.p.s to everyone— there may be a bit of scrolling, but please get to the bottom so you don't miss a bot you may like! :)

CHALLENGERS

ART DONALDSON —  PREGNANT (REQ.)

Getting engaged to Art is a fairly recent milestone for the two of you, but what will happen when he finds your positive pregnancy test in the garbage and he confronts you about it?

ART DONALDSON — STEAM ROOM

Art always loves spending time in the steam room after a long week of practice. He didn’t expect to encounter you there, but he’s not complaining. Will your old flame be rekindled when there’s nothing separating you except for a couple of towels?

ART DONALDSON & TASHI DUNCAN — MEETING THE EX (REQ.)

You and Art started dating shortly after his divorce with Tashi was finalized. How will you finally meeting her go? Will you still be with him afterward, or will she pawn you off of him?

PATRICK ZWEIG — MOM OVER ME

Patrick is your husband, but what does that mean to you? After all, he isn’t even your emergency contact, even though you're his. Your mom is still yours, regardless of the fact that you've been married for a few years now. (inspired by @fruitjoos fic ‘‘emergency contact’’)

TASHI DUNCAN — FAN CLUB

Tashi was surprised to find out that you didn’t know much about her, or tennis in general, for that matter. It was even more surprising (and annoying) when she showed up on move-in day to see that you were going to be her roommate this year.

TASHI DUNCAN — FIELD OF LILIES  

Your anniversary is coming up shortly after your daughter's fourth birthday. To celebrate, you decided to surprise the two of them with a field of lilies— the same one where you proposed to Tashi six years ago.

TASHI DUNCAN — MALL SANTA (🌲)

This is Lily’s first Christmas, and Tashi is making sure to pull out all the stops, including taking her to the mall to get pictures with Santa. Sure, the one year old may not remember this, but you and Tashi will, and she wants it to be special, just like it was when she was growing up.

GLEE

MARLEY ROSE - AWOKEN (REQ.)

Marley didn't know that her feelings for you surpassed friendship until she realized that her feelings for Jake and Ryder were nothing close to romantic. She doesn't know why she never realized it before, but she won't give up her chance now.

MARLEY ROSE — MEAN GIRL (REQ.)

Marley is the sweetest girl alive, yet you’re still mean to her. She can’t figure out why you’re so cold and callous when she hasn’t done anything wrong. It's now up to you to fix the mess that you unintentionally made.

MARLEY ROSE — SECRETLY SOFT (REQ.)

You’ve got a reputation of being some kind of punk. Essentially, you’re the female equivalent to Puck, except you’re not a homewrecker like he is. No one knows that the only person you’re all sweet and nice with is Marley, and she’s the only one who knows you’re even like that at all.

QUINN FABRAY — BIG CHANGES (REQ.)

Quinn's image has changed since having Beth and giving her up for adoption. Has it been for the better? The verdict is not yet decided, but you've been by her side for a while now, and you don't plan on leaving just because she's changed her look. She's still the same Quinn Fabray you know and love.

QUINN FABRAY — BORN THIS WAY… OR NOT (REQ.)

Quinn was confronted by Lauren about her past, and she knew she couldn’t let you hear about it from anyone else. Word would spread quickly, and she didn’t want you to know her truth from the rumor mill.

QUINN FABRAY — BUNNY!

You're originally a farm girl, even though Quinn couldn't believe it. Your city life doesn't do much to prove your roots, so you decided to take her back home to the family farm, where she quickly makes a new furry friend.

SANTANA LOPEZ — HIDDEN MOMENTS (REQ.)

You and Santana have been together for a few months now, and even though no one knows, you two couldn't be happier. Sometimes, all it takes to make your day better is just being with her in bed. You don't even have to be doing anything except lying there.

SANTANA LOPEZ — NURSE’S ORDERS (inspired by @mportality)

You've fallen sick and your girlfriend wants to help nurse you back to health, despite your pleas for her to keep away from you so she doesn't get sick herself. Besides, it's an excuse to wear that hot nurse costume you love so much.

SANTANA LOPEZ — ROOMMATES AND EXES (REQ.)

Santana showing up at your New York apartment unexpectedly was... rather surprising. Maybe not so much if she was a friend, but the fact that she's your ex-girlfriend makes it a little more unusual. She's been moved in for a few months, and you can't help but constantly think about your past relationship. Now, you're sitting in the living room with her on the opposite end of the couch, silence engulfing the space.

GREY’S ANATOMY

ADDISON MONTGOMERY — BUT YOU CHEATED

Addison won’t stop trying to get you back, even if she’s in the wrong. She knows she messed up by cheating on you, so why can’t you just accept her apology? Or better yet, why doesn't she accept the fact that you can't forgive her so easily?

DEREK SHEPHERD — GINGERBREAD HOUSES (REQ. /🌲)

Making and decorating gingerbread houses with you and your kids is a dream come true for Derek. He couldn't ask for a more domestic scene, and he doesn't think anything will top this.

DEREK SHEPHERD — I SAW MOMMY KISSING SANTA CLAUS (🌲)

So maybe it was a bad idea to not keep forcing Derek to change out of the Santa Claus suit he wore in order to put the gifts under the tree in case Zola or Bailey saw him. Their screams were unexpected and frightening before you realized why exactly they had screamed.

DEREK SHEPHERD — WALKING AWAY

Derek didn’t want to compete anymore; if Finn was the one who had your heart, then he’d accept that and let it be. You couldn't believe it, though. The Derek Shepherd accepting (choosing, even) defeat? What is wrong with him?

JO WILSON — DODGING (REQ.)

You and Jo clearly have feelings for each other, but you both keep avoiding addressing them. It's obvious to everyone except for the two of you, and Arizona is tired of seeing you fail to work up the courage to talk to Jo, so she sticks you in a room together and locks you in.

MISC.

ALICE CULLEN - DIFFERENT WORLDS (REQ.)

Alice is a vampire, and you're a werewolf. You're not supposed to interact with each other, let alone date. But neither of you can help yourselves; the mutual attraction is too strong to ignore, meaning you couldn’t care less what your brother might think.

FIYERO TIGELAAR — SET FREE

Fiyero is the only one not affected by the flowers in class, and even though you thought he didn’t want to help you, he tagged along anyway. The tension is thick between the two of you, so how will you both approach it?

MATANGI — CRAZY BAT LADY  (REQ.) @lotties-ashwagandha i’m sorry it took forever!

Matangi thought you’d leave her behind and forget about her after breaking the curse on Motufetū, but you proved her wrong. She feels a sense of obligation to pay you back, but how is she going to do such a thing?

SIMON BASSET — WEDDING NIGHT  

Unbeknownst to the both of you, the tension is thick. Simon thinks that you’re in this marriage against your will, while you think the same regarding him. Neither of you have realized that for so long, you have burned for one another. After such an admittance, what more is there to do than consummate the marriage? It helps that he gave you such valuable advice earlier on...

[morbidology]

On May 1, 1947, Evelyn McHale, a 23-year-old woman, leapt to her death from the 86th-floor observation deck of the Empire State Building in New York City. Her death, immortalized by a haunting photograph, became one of the most iconic images of the 20th century and is often referred to as "the most beautiful suicide."

Evelyn McHale was born on September 20, 1923, in Berkeley, California. After her parents' divorce, she moved to Tuckahoe, New York, with her father and siblings. Evelyn joined the Women's Army Corps and was stationed in Jefferson City, Missouri, during World War II. After her service, she moved to New York City, where she worked as a bookkeeper at the Kitab Engraving Company.

Evelyn was engaged to Barry Rhodes, a college student and ex-GI who lived in Pennsylvania. The couple planned to marry, and by all accounts, their relationship appeared happy and stable. However, beneath the surface, Evelyn struggled with deep emotional turmoil.

On the morning of May 1, 1947, Evelyn visited Barry in Pennsylvania to celebrate his birthday. After returning to New York City, she went to the Empire State Building. She bought a ticket to the observation deck and, after spending a few moments there, climbed over the railing and jumped.

Evelyn's body landed on the roof of a United Nations limousine parked on 34th Street. Just minutes after her death, photography student Robert Wiles happened to be nearby and captured an eerily serene photograph of her body. In the image, Evelyn appears to be peacefully asleep, her legs crossed at the ankles, with one hand clutching her pearl necklace.

This photograph was published in Life magazine and quickly became famous. The haunting image, combined with the apparent calmness and beauty of Evelyn's repose, led to it being dubbed "the most beautiful suicide."

Evelyn left behind a suicide note, found in her purse at the observation deck. In it, she expressed her deep despair and requested that her body not be viewed or held in a public funeral. She wrote:

"I don’t want anyone in or out of my family to see any part of me. Could you destroy my body by cremation? I beg of you and my family – don’t have any service for me or remembrance for me. My fiancé asked me to marry him in June. I don’t think I would make a good wife for anybody. He is much better off without me. Tell my father, I have too many of my mother’s tendencies."

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Fake-Dating Pairs That Could "Plausibly" Happen

As requested by @room-temperature-orange-juice :)

Sanderson doesn't seem to go for fake dating all that much. But here are some scenarios that could TOTALLY happen if he did want to incorporate some fake-dating comedy into his books...

1. MeLaan & Marasi

The Scenario: Well, they obviously need to go undercover to solve a case, perhaps to a ball or a party or a wedding where it makes the most sense to pretend to be a couple

MeLaan (currently in a woman's body): All right. Let's do this! Marasi: U-Uh, MeLaan? Are you sure that's the...best body for this operation? MeLaan: Shit, you're right. Hang on! MeLaan: [Returns as a much more voluptuous woman] MeLaan: Now everyone will know that you can pull. Marasi (deeply red): T-THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT

2. Kaladin & Szeth [Rhythm of War spoilers but NO WAT preview spoilers]

The Scenario: Well, we know that Kaladin and Szeth will be going to Shinovar on a mission. Let's say Szeth needs to explain why he's brought a stone-walker into his homeland. The obvious explanation is that they're dating!

Shinovar authority figure: D-Dating?! Why would you date a stone-walker?! Szeth (expressionless): I like tall men. Kaladin (equally expressionless): He likes it when I hit my head on things. Szeth (still expressionless): Though I love him deeply, I do enjoy a good instance of head trauma. Shinovar authority figure (muttering): Is double "Truthless" a thing?

3. Charlie & one of those princesses

The Scenario: Rather than driving off all of the eligible princesses by being as boring & gross as possible, Charlie finds one who is willing to play along.

Charlie: T-The truth is, I already have a woman I love. The Princess: Really? Charlie: Yeah, but my dad doesn't approve of her... The Princess: I know how you feel. My father also doesn't approve of the woman I love... Charlie: ... The Princess: ... Charlie: ... The Princess: ... Charlie: Five-year engagement? The Princess: At least!

4. Lyn & Renarin

The Scenario: Fed up with her parents being all judgmental because she dumped Kaladin Stormblessed, Lyn decides that she HAS to bring an awesome date to her family dinner--and who better than a Brightlord, a Radiant, AND the king's son?

Lyn: Don't forget to bring up that you joined the 4v1 duel before Kaladin. Lyn: And how you took down a Thunderclast! Lyn: Storms, if you just smile occasionally, I bet that'll make them forget about Kaladin... Lyn: ... Lyn: Honestly, I think you might just be a better catch than Kaladin. Renarin: I'm gay, though. Lyn: Heh, well I didn't say you're a better catch for me...

5. Kaladin & Elhokar

The Scenario: Imagine that, during the infiltration of Kholinar, that part of their disguises involve Elhokar (disguised as a lighteyed woman) being the wife of Kaladin (disguised as an ugly old man).

Elhokar: Mmmm...I don't feel that I would go for a man with eyebrows like that. Shallan: Brightlady, please! Surely you can pretend that beneath his rough exterior, he has a good heart. Kaladin: ...pretend? Elhokar: No, no. I definitely would have insisted that he at least groom better. Can you make his eyebrows at least a bit neater? To sell the illusion? Or, do we have time to stop for nose-hair trimmers? Shallan: What if I just make his cheekbones a bit sharper? Elhokar: Mmmm...okay, yes. I could see myself marrying him. Kaladin: CAN WE PLEASE GET GOING

6. Wayne and Ranette

The Scenario: Wayne begs Ranette to fake-marry him.

Ranette: [looking at Wayne with a mixture of horror and pity] You said you weren't gonna do this anymore, Wayne. Wayne: No, no! Don't you get the wrong idea here! I need you to marry me and then divorce me horribly so you get half of my money in court! Wayne: Please understand--I've tried everything to get rid of this money. I'm desperate here! Wayne: Please! Ranette: ... Ranette: I get to divorce you horribly? Wayne: You better eviscerate me in court! Ranette: ... Ranette: Might be right therapeutic, actually. Wayne: You're such a good friend!

Moash & Kelsier

The Scenario: Moash realizes he's going to be reunited with his former Bridge 4 friends and makes plans accordingly.

Moash: Yup. This is my old Bridge 4 uniform, but now it's dyed black, because I'm new & evil now. Moash: And this is my new boyfriend Kelsier, who's just like you, Kaladin, only he survives MORE and actually FOLLOWS THROUGH on killing the king. Kelsier: Lord Ruler. Moash: Whatever. Moash: So as you can see, I don't even miss you guys AT ALL. Moash: ... Moash: What do you think? Will this make them jealous? Kelsier: ...I think we need to practice your speech a bit more.

[waitimcomingtoo]

And I Wouldn’t Marry Me Either

Pairing: Tom Holland x singer!reader

Synopsis: you release some songs about Tom after a disagreement ends in a breakup

Masterlist

“Marry me.”

“Right now? But I just got comfortable.” Tom mumbled into his pillow with a sleepy smile.

“I’m serious.” You whispered through a laugh and shook his shoulder. Tom’s eyes slowly opened and he could see the blurry outline of you lying next to him in your bed.

“What?”

“I’m just thinking.” You began. “We’ve been together five years.”

“I’m aware.” Tom laughed and snuggled back into his pillow.

“So we should do it. We should get married.” You propped yourself up on your elbow to look at him.

“We are married. Everyone knows you’re my girl.” Tom said without opening his eyes and pulled you into his arms. He tried to go back to sleep but you still wanted to talk.

“I know.” You laughed. “But I want to make it official.”

“What, in Gods eyes and all that? I didn’t think you cared about that.” He laughed dismissively and rolled over. You sat up fully in the bed and looked down at him.

“It’s not about that. I want the flowers and the dress and the rings. Don’t you want that?” You asked and shook him a little to clue him in that you were trying to have a serious conversation. You watched Tom shrug and roll onto his back to look up at you.

“I don’t know. I always found weddings kinda dumb.”

“What? What do you mean dumb?” You forced a laugh and tried to hide the disappointment in your tone.

“I mean, like, they’re not even legally binding. It’s this whole big celebration that people spend their life savings on just to get drunk and slid rings on each other fingers. You still have to go to the courthouse to get married and even that’s just a piece of paper.”

“Oh. I didn’t realize you felt that way.” You laughed shortly and picked at your nail polish to look busy.

“I didn’t realize you felt a different way.” He said and rolled back onto his stomach. Tom closed his eyes to go back to sleep and you felt your heart sink in your chest. You got out of the bed and opened the curtains a little to distract yourself with the view. You touched the silky white curtains and smiled to yourself as you thought of all the pictures of white dresses you had saved on your Pinterest throughout the years.

“I’ve always dreamed of my wedding.” You said over your shoulder. “I think every little girl does at some point. Every rom com I grew up on ends with the perfect fairy tale wedding. I always wanted that. I wanted my happy ending.”

“But those are just movies. I bet half those couples wouldn’t last in real life.”

“But it’s sweet that they plan that special day together and then get to celebrate their love in front of all their family and friends.”

“Yeah, all that planning just so they can get divorced before the first year is up.” Tom snorted. “I think the whole idea of weddings are stupid. I mean, you spend all that time and money planning for a one day event that people will just attend for the free booze. Plus, women starve themselves for months and spend thousands of dollars on a dress they’ll wear once? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Wow. Tell me how you really feel, Tom.” You laughed shortly and folded your arms to glare at him. Tom sensed your tone and sat up in bed to pay better attention.

“I just think it’s all so ancient.” He shrugged. “I’m surprised you don’t agree. Weddings cannot exist without all the bullshit sexist traditions. I mean, the white dress to symbolize the brides supposed purity, the father of the bride literally “giving her away” to another man after being asked permission to get engaged in the first place, and then to top it off with her taking his last name because she’s now his property or something. It’s all so trivial and perverse.”

“It doesn’t have to be like that. Those traditions may be rooted in old fashioned thinking but I think it’s sweet to ask for my fathers permission. And yeah, I do want my dad holding my hand and walking me down the aisle. He’s not giving me away to be another man’s property, he’s standing by my side as I enter a new chapter of my life. Which is why I want my mama right there on my other side. Plus, lots of people hyphenate their last names nowadays. It doesn’t have to be this monstrous sexism fest you’re making it out to be.” You rolled your eyes and walked into the bathroom that was attached to your bedroom. Tom frowned when you shut the door. You usually left it open a crack when you did your morning skincare routine, but today, you were shutting him out. Tom got out of bed and walked into the bathroom to see you. You didn’t look up at him as you washed your face.

“Come on. Are you seriously mad because I dissed your rom coms?” Tom said as he put his hands on your hips and kissed your shoulder.

“I’m not mad about that.” You mumbled and brushed him off.

“Then what are you mad about, sour patch?” He teased and kissed your shoulder again.

“I’m mad because I’ve been getting my nails done weekly leading up to our five year anniversary just in case you proposed and you just told me that’s never even crossed your mind!” You exclaimed as hot tears of embarrassment brimmed your eyes. You stormed out of the bathroom and when Tom processed what you had said, he followed after you.

“I don’t believe in marriage, okay? I think it’s unnecessary. Why can’t we just live like this forever? What’s the difference?”

“The difference is pretty big. But I guess you don’t see it like that.” You shrugged and kept walking away from him.

“Can you honestly tell me what would be different between us if we signed a stupid piece of paper at the courthouse or didn’t?” Tom said as he put his hands on your shoulders to keep you in place for a second.

“The difference is I’d be your wife and not just the pathetic girlfriend who stayed even though you didn’t lock it down.” You raised your voice at him and pushed his hands off of you.

“So you only want to get married because you care what people think? How romantic.” Tom rolled his eyes at you.

“That’s not the only reason. I want to get married because it’s important to me. It’s a public commitment where we promise to love and protect each other forever. I want that.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t. I don’t need a ceremony to do that. I can promise you that right here.” Tom calmed down and took your hands.

“But that’s not special.” You sighed and withdrew your hands.

“If you don’t find that special then maybe you don’t love me as much as you think you do.” Tom said, immediately regretting it.

“What?” You whispered and looked into his eyes to see if he was serious.

“Look, darling, I’m sorry.” He said softly. “I just don’t see the point in marriage. I don’t need to prove I love you with a ring and wedding. I chose to love you every day. That’s enough for me.”

“What if it’s not enough for me?” You genuinely asked him as you wondered it for yourself.

“Then maybe you need to stop being so shallow and materialistic and ask yourself if you’re with me because you love me or because you want to play out some childhood fantasy that you saw in a stupid movie.” He shouted.

You both instantly got quiet. You were quiet for a very long time.

“I didn’t even mean that.”

“I don’t even care.” Your voice cracked as you grabbed your purse and slammed the front door behind you when you left.

“Is this one okay?” Harrison asked, pulling Tom out of his daydream. He replayed that fight over in his head about a dozen times a day. If his mind wasn’t occupied by something at all times, he’d perform an autopsy on that last conversation with you to try and understand what he should’ve done differently.

“What?” Tom asked without looking at his friend. He was too busy staring at the seat you always used to sit in at the kitchen counter.

“Can I use this one?” Harrison repeated and held up a muted purple mug as the tea kettle went off in the background. Tom tore his eyes away from your chair and when he saw the mug, all he could picture was your lipstick stain that used to stain it.

“That’s Y/n’s mug.” Tom said, descending a chill over the room. Harry and Sam’s attention was caught and they looked at Tom to see where this conversation was going.

“Oh. Sorry. I’ll put it back.” Harry said and quickly went to put it back in the cabinet.

“It’s fine. She’s not using it.” Tom shrugged. Everyone looked at each other as the awkwardness became palpable.

“How’s she’s doing?” Sam asked and sipped his tea to seem less interested than he really was.

“She’s good. Shes been recording some stuff at her New York studio. New music and whatnot.” Tom replied. He didn’t know this because you told him. He knew this because he’d been stalking your fanpages for every possible sighting of you.

“Have you guys talked lately?” Harry asked.

“Not really. Not since she left.” Tom admitted without looking up at his friends.

“You guys didn’t break up, did you?” Harrison asked, worsening the icy tension. Tom froze at the question for a minute and then shrugged. He didn’t really know what the answer was. In the weeks you’d been gone, you’d make small talk sometimes about work and the weather, but it never went beyond that. It was more to be polite. You kept in touch enough to know what the other was up to on a weekly basis, but you both knew you were dragging out something that had died. You wanted Tom to just say it was over already instead of pretending everything was normal, but he was never going to do that.

“I don’t know. We left things kinda up in the air.” Tom replied. The boys exchanged glances and Harrison nodded to let them know he was gonna take charge.

“Up in the air?” He questioned.

“Yep. Up in the air. Ambiguous. Vague. Open to interpretation. Call it what you want.” Tom shrugged again like it didn’t matter, but it did.

“Well what was the last thing you said to each other?” Harry wondered.

“She said she needed some space and was going to New York. And I said okay.” Tom recalled.

“What about before that?”

“I don’t know. We didn’t talk much in the days leading up to her leaving.” Tom replied and took a long sip of his tea.

“She didn’t speak to you?” Sam asked.

“She did.” Tom nodded. “Sometimes.”

“You didn’t speak to her?” Harrison asked, already knowing the answer.

“I didn’t have anything to say.” Tom shrugged. Nobody spoke a word, but all the boys were thinking the same thing. They knew how bad this was, and that it signaled the end of your relationship.

“What?” Tom asked when he noticed the shift in vibe.

“I’m just surprised.” Harrison shrugged. “You guys were never like this. I can’t even remember your last fight.”

“We didn’t fight. You can’t fight when you don’t speak.” Tom said with a sarcastic smile.

“You should call her.” Harry suggested. “It’s gonna be at least a week since she’s been there, right?”

“Four weeks.” Tom corrected without meeting anyone’s else.

“Mate, you gotta call her.” Harry said quietly and put his hand on Tom’s shoulder.

“I can’t.” Tom shook his head.

“Why not?”

“She can’t break up with me if I don’t talk to her. As long as we don’t have that conversation, we’ll still be together.”

“I’m not sure that’s how it works, Buddy.” Harrison said apologetically. Tom sucked in a sharp breath and looked at his friend with tears brimming his bloodshot eyes.

“I don’t know what else to do.” He said with a crack in his voice.

“Oh shit.” Sam said suddenly, getting everyone’s attention.

“What?” Tom asked.

“She’s dropping a song tonight. She just announced it.” Sam said and showed Tom your Twitter. Tom took Sam’s phone to read your announcement better. Sure enough, you had posted a picture of you dramatically lying across a piano bench with your left hand covering half of your face. You had a ring on every finger except for your ring finger, a detail that wasn’t lost on Tom. He handed Sam’s phone back and look at the floor.

“You didn’t know about this?” Sam asked, and Tom shook his head. He’d gone from being the first person you played every song for to finding out on Twitter that you had a song coming out.

“What’s it called?” Harrison wondered. Sam looked down at his phone to read the title and gulped.

“Who cares?” Sam forced a laugh and put his phone away.

“What’s it called?” Tom asked again.

“You Don’t Know Me Anymore.” Sam mumbled. Tom shut his eyes and hung his head in shame. He hadn’t even heard the song yet but knew it was going to be bad news.

“When does that come out?” He asked Sam.

“Midnight. Tonight.”

Tom’s friends stayed with him all day until midnight rolled around. At 11:58, Tom placed his laptop on the kitchen table and opened YouTube. He knew you always released lyric videos when you dropped a new song and he needed to reach every single world you said. When midnight came, he refreshed his screen and clicked on your video. The background image was a picture of you looking in a mirror with messy hair. You had digitally added sparkly, purple tears to run down the still image of your face. You played a couple notes on the piano before the lyrics appeared beside your face in your handwriting.

“I wish you’d just put me out of my misery

You already know I’m at your mercy

I don’t know why you’re dragging this out

You have all the power, if that’s what this is about

I’m not gonna be the one who walks away

So I need you to say what you want to say

I already know it’s over so just let it end

Please don’t give me the pity of asking to stay friends.”

“I don’t think we should be listening to this.” Sam said as he paused the video.

“Play it.” Tom demanded. Sam sighed and pressed play while the other exchanged looks.

“I’ve been feeling you leaving

I hate this part more than the ending

The moments leading up when I know your heart has changed

I don’t know why we keep pretending

If it’s done just say it’s done

Don’t just change your mind and not tell me

I already know so just let me go

Don’t just watch as I sit and bleed.”

“I don’t think-“ Sam began as he paused it again.

“Stop pausing it.” Tom cut him off. “Play it. I need to hear it.”

Sam pressed play again and Tom pulled the laptop over to himself so he could control it.

“Cause I cut my hand on that first crack in the glass

I feel the icy air between us when you pass me

So I took your chain off from around my neck

I’ll think of something else your initial can stand for

You don’t deserve to see me wearing it anyway

You don’t know me anymore.”

Tom didn’t realize he had started to cry until his tears his his keyboard. He couldn’t see the video anymore from his blurry his eyes had gotten. He wiped his face and leaned on his hands to give the song better attention.

“You know I would die for you in secret

Like that song I showed you in my car

I don’t think you even listened to it

You didn’t draw stars around my scars

You drew your arrow and let it fly

Right into my heart and let me die

Actually, I wish that was the curtesy you provided

Instead, you let this love become one sided

And now we’re shattered like a glass that was dropped

You broke my heart until the day that it stopped

You never got down on knee

Even when I crumbled onto both of mine

I wonder if you ever really wanted me

How did you think we were fine?

And at what part did you realize you liked the idea of me?

But who I actually am isn’t someone you wanted

I miss who I was before we met

Now I can’t go back, I’m haunted

And you were right not to marry me

If I could walk away from me too, I would

You were right to leave when you did

I know I would too if I could

But I’m stuck here with myself

Forever scratching and clawing at your door

Keep it all, even my memories

You’re lucky you don’t know me anymore.”

Everyone sat in silence once the song ended. Tom wiped his eyes again but tears just kept falling down his face.

“That probably wasn’t even about you.” Harrison said after a long beat of silence. Tom gave him a look before turning to his brothers.

“What do you think?” He asked Harry.

“It sounds like she’s hurting too.” Harry shrugged. “I think you’re both waiting for the other to say you’re broken up.”

“Well I’m not saying it.” Tom stated. “She has to.”

“And if she doesn’t?” Sam asked kindly.

“Then we don’t break up.”

“Again, I’m not really sure that’s how it works.”

“Well it’s what I’m going with. Because I can’t break up with her.” Tom sniffled and shut the laptop.

“But you can’t go on like this either.” Sam pointed out.

“She’ll come home when she’s ready.” Tom said, but no one in the room believed him.

And didn’t come home for a while.

After another week of silence, Tom flew to New York to see you. He got to your apartment and knocked on your door without any particular plan in mind. You opened it with a smile but when you saw who it was, you tensed up.

“Hi.” He said with a sad smile.

“If you came to to propose to me as some kind of grand gesture-“

“Please, let me talk.” He cut you off. You sighed and nodded as you leaned against your doorway.

“We have different opinions. But I don’t love or respect anyone more than you. So I am willing to hear your side, which is not something I did last time we spoke about this. I was just listening for what I could rebuttal against. I wasn’t actually listening to understand your thoughts and feelings. But I’m ready now.” He said. You nodded again and seemed to drop the wall that you had put up.

“It matters to me that we get married.” You told him. “I know you think it’s pointless and doesn’t change anything, but it changes things for me. If you picked out a ring, asked my parents permission, and got down on one knee, that would all make me feel special and loved. Those things matter to me in a relationship.”

“Okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t know that.”

“But now you do know so if you propose, I know you’re just gonna do it to appease me. I’ll always know that you think it’s stupid when I look at the ring.”

“I admit that it found it a little dumb in the past. But it matters to you. And nothing that matters to you can be stupid.”

“I can’t get married to you knowing you don’t really want it. It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to me.” You said and went to close the door.

“But I can’t lose you. My thoughts on marriage literally do not matter to me in the slightest. If it’s important to you and if it is what it takes to make you feel special and loved, then I want it too.” Tom pleaded as he pushed your door back open.

“But you don’t want it. You just don’t want to break up.”

“I can put on a tux for a night and suffer through if it means that much to you.” He said with a slight laugh to lighten the mood. Your face changed and he had somehow made the situation worse.

“Suffer?” You asked quietly with a told of your head.

“I’m sorry. That was a poor choice of words. But darling, I’m saying we can get married. I’ll do whatever it is you want. Why do you still look so upset?”

“Because you don’t get it.” You shook your head. “And I’m afraid you never will.”

“What don’t I get? I don’t understand. I’m telling you I’ll give you what you want.”

“But you don’t want it too. That’s what I’m trying to say. It’s the principle, Tom. Remember how disappointed I was that one time when I said I wanted ice cream so we went to the shop but you didn’t get anything? I didn’t mean I wanted ice cream. I meant I wanted us to get ice cream together so we could eat it and spend time together. This is like that but times a million. You can’t compromise on marriage. You either believe in it or you don’t. So even if we did get married, it wouldn’t mean to you what it means to me. I would always think back to that conversation we had and remember how you really feel about marriage. I keep replaying all the things you said that day in my head. We both know how you feel about marriage and we both know it’s not something you want.”

“So that one conversation ruined it for you? Completely?” He asked.

“Yes, it did.” You answered truthfully. You stared at each other for a minute as both your eyes welled with tears. You both knew you’d reached a stalemate and there was nothing more to be done.

“So what do we do now?” Tom asked without looking at you.

“I love you. More than I’ve ever loved anyone.” You told him, making him perk up.

“So do I.” He smiled as tears rolled down his face.

“But what if that’s not enough?” You asked him. Tom froze and felt the situation escaping from him fast.

“We’ve been together almost 5 years, darling. That’s five birthdays, Christmas’s, anniversaries. You make up so much of my life. We’re exactly right for each other. It’s supposed to be you and me in the end. I can’t do this with anyone else.”

“And I can’t do this with you.” You laughed sadly and gestured to him. Tom’s heart dropped in his chest when it became apparent that this was more than just a fight.

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“I think I am.” You nodded. Neither of you could believe the words that were coming out of your mouth but it was too late to take them back.

“Does marriage really mean that much to you that you’d rather break up instead of just living a long, happy life together?” Tom asked you.

“I guess it does.” You realized. He stood there in shock as you put a hand on his shoulder and brought him closer to kiss his cheek.

“Goodbye, Tom.” You smiled sadly at him and shut your door.

Another month went by and you did not come home. You busied yourself with your music and dove into your next album, but that didn’t stop you from thinking about him on midnights when you were left alone with your thoughts. Tom thought about you a lot more often, like every time he saw your face on his TV. He tuned in one night to watch you debut your latest music video of your newest song. His eyes were glued to the TV as the video opened with your back to some brown eyed actor.

“You say “I don’t understand” and “I say I know you don’t.” We thought a cure would come through in time, now I fear it won’t.” You sang with your eyes glued to the floor. The setting changed and you were walking through an apartment that Tom recognized.

“She filmed this on Cornelia Street?” Tom whispered to himself and sat back on his couch.

“Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light.” A smiling version of you sang as she walked though the apartment holding the hand of the actor playing Tom. The setting changed again and you were still in the room, but the lights were off and you were sitting alone in the floor.

“Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time.” You sang while not looking in the camera. The rest of the video followed in suit. You flashed between happy, golden hued memories with the actor to grey toned solo shots of you sitting alone at your piano or on the floor. The difference in the moods made Tom reminisce on the old times and he wondered how long it has been since he had made you smile the way you were doing in the video.

“Stop, you’re losing me. Stop, stop, stop. You’re losing me.” You sang while looking directly into the camera as a purple heart monitor line ran through the background behind you and eventually flatlined. Tom felt like you were staring right into his soul and realized this was the closest he’d gotten to making eye contact with you in a while. He watched the sad, grey version of yourself split from the happy version and suddenly, there were two of you on the screen while the actor playing Tom ignored them both.

“How long can we be a sad song till we were too far gone to bring back to life?” The both of you sang while Tom’s counterpart read the newspaper and didn’t look at either. He thought of the days leading up to you leaving for New York where he’d be doing exactly that, reading the newspaper to pretend to look busy when he felt you glaring at him. He wiped his face and watched as the scene changed to the three of you at a party. The sad version of you was clinging to Tom’s counterpart defensively while the other version of you yelled at him with a drink in your hand.

“Fighting in only your army. Front lines, don’t you ignore me. I’m the best thing as this party.” You yelled and drunkenly stumbled around while the rest of the party watched.

“You’re losing me.” The grey version whispered into Tom’s ear. He assumed that version represented the part of you that missed him while the other version represented the you that knew it was over. The scene changed again and this time, you were back in the Cornelia Street apartment with an open ring box in the center of the table. There was no ring inside, just a burning flame.

“And I wouldn’t marry me either. A pathological people pleaser.Who only wanted you to see her.” You said into the camera while Tom’s character threw things into a bag behind you and went to leave.

“And I’m fading thinking do something babe! Say something! Lose something, babe. Risk something. You’re losing me! Chose something, babe. I got nothing to believe unless you’re choosing me.” The grey version of you desperately said to Tom’s counterpart as she pulled on his arm to beg him to stay. It was like he couldn’t see her at all and just kept walking towards the door. The golden version of yourself opened the door and pointed for him to get out while the other version of you jumped in front of him and dropped to her knees to get him to stay. Tom’s character walked right through her and she faded to dust, leaving just the one version of yourself to watch him go. The music stopped and you ended up running after him, but he was already gone. You turned and ran down Cornelia Street but didn’t go back into your apartment. You just kept running down the street and turned the block so that the camera couldn’t see you anymore. The camera panned out to show the Cornelia Street sign and a violin version of your song by the same name played in the background as the street sign turned grey and faded into dust. The screen turned black and Tom was left alone in the silence.

After another month, he found himself outside your door again. He knocked on it and felt his heart pound until you opened it up.

“Tom? What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for you. I came to fix this.” He said simply.

“Tom, I don’t know that we can fix this.” You said apologetically. It felt amazing to see him, but it didn’t change the fact that you ultimately wanted different things in life.

“You were right. You can’t compromise on marriage. And you either believe in it or you don’t.” He began before getting down on one knee.

“Tom?” You asked skeptically as your eyes went wide. He pulled a ring box out of his pocket and opened it up for you.

“It’s your moms ring. Your dad gave it to her for the third Valentine’s Day they celebrated together in college. She doesn’t wear it anymore because it’s one size too small, so she gave it to me when I asked them for permission to marry you.”

“You asked them?” You smiled in surprise that he had done one of the things you said mattered to you.

“I did. It was a little awkward to find out your mother already knew all about our previous conversations about marriage so you can probably guess how confused I was.” He said with an embarrassed laugh.

“What did my dad say?”

“He said as long as I make you happy, he’s proud to have me join the family.”

“See? No one’s giving me away to anyone. We’re just creating a bigger family for the two of us.”

“I see that now. I see a lot of the points you made. And what your dad said got me thinking.”

“About?”

“All I want is to make you happy. Which is different from agreeing to things I don’t want to do to appease you. I do want to watch you walk down the aisle in a dress that’s been in your Pinterest board since you were 13. I do want to plan the seating arrangement and introduce my weird friends from college to your weird friends from college. I want to plan the entire thing because that’s something we can do together, and those are my favorite things to do.”

“What about the ceremony? And the marriage license? You don’t want those things.”

“I didn’t at first.” He admitted. “But after actually thinking about it and reevaluating the opinion I formed before I ever even had a serious relationship, I realized I feel differently. You make me feel differently. I would proudly sign my name next to yours on a marriage license. Because I happen to think our names look pretty good together. And as for the ceremony, I know we can’t compromise, but we can collaborate. It doesn’t have to be a huge blowout party. It can be the best elements of the both of us. And we can plan it together.”

“That all sounds very lovely, but it doesn’t change the fact that you didn’t believe in marriage just a few months ago. Am I really supposed to believe you’ve truly changed your mind? What if this is just some grand gesture to win me back that you end up regretting?” You asked him.

“I will never end up regretting promising my love for you in front of our family and friends. I’ll never regret hyphenating our names so that everyone knows I’m a part of a duo. I’ll never regret choosing to legally attach myself to my vets friend and spend the rest of my life with her. But I can tell you with the utmost assurance that I would regret letting you walk away and become a name I wince at for the rest of my life.”

“You felt differently not too long ago.” You quietly reminded him. You wanted so badly to believe him, but you couldn’t fully trust it.

“I changed my mind. I realized somethings are more important than other things. And that you’re more important than anything.”

Your skeptical expression turned into a coy smile as you slid your hand into the one that wasn’t holding the open ring box.

“You never actually said the words.” You told him, making Tom break into a relieved smile.

“Darling, would you make me the happiest man-“

“Eh. Try again. Too cliche.” You cut him off. Tom smiled and shook his head, knowing you weren’t gonna make it easy.

“My love, I don’t want to spend another minute as just your boyfriend.” He tried again.

“Lame. Thumbs down.” You shook your head and pointed your thumb down.

“Would you do me the honor-“

“Yawn.” You interrupted.

“Will you just marry me, you annoying brat?” Tom groaned.

“Tom! I thought you’d never ask!” You gushed over dramatically and put your hand over your heart.

“Is that a yes?” Tom asked as he stood up.

“I have to think about it. I don’t know if marriage is for me.” You shrugged as he slid the ring onto your finger. You looked down at the ring and remembered the time you tried it on as a little girl and how it didn’t fit your finger until now.

“Yes. I will marry you.” You smiled as you looked back up at Tom. Tom broke into a grin and scooped you up to spin you around.

“Sorry I wrote all those emo songs about you.” You said into his ear, making him laugh.

“It’s okay. It’s what you do.” He couldn’t stop smiling as he set you down. He then pulled you in for a long kiss to make up for all the time you were apart. When you pulled away, he pulled your face back towards him with his hands to kiss your left cheek.

“I see you.” He said, then kissed you right cheek.

“I choose you.” He continued, then kissed your forehead.

“I love you.” He said, the kissed your nose before looking into your eyes.

“And I know you.” He told you. You smiled softly and nodded your head.

“You do?” You asked him. “You really know me?”

“I do.”

Tag List 🏷️

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@andreasworlsboring101 @letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention

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@emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland @flixndchill

@every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @caelestii-e @eridanuswave​ ​ @fiantomartell

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@maybemona @alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom @xo-spidey

[writing-fanics]

literally if I were to write my ford pines x reader

They’d be fighting like an old married couple back and forth.. Mabel is literally like

*gasp* “you two liked each other~”

Like it’s obvious they had a history together [hinted relationship might’ve even been married or engaged]

but he got too deep into his work made a literal deal with inter dimensional demon

and after seeing the portal gave him an ultimatum

then they left him

The reader stayed in gravity falls, adopted a kid to not feel alone

Married at one point had a biological child then ended up getting divorced, and losing custody of said child

also the reader really bonds with Mabel reminds her of when she was growing up, how she was really outgoing didn’t wanna fit in with the Norms

[justfrolikin]

Shiguang's domestic bliss : an Asian perspective

For most of us Asians...the image of 'love' looks quite peculiar. While the traditional 'romantic' stuff is still prevalent in our culture, it's relatively modern. In Asian households, 'love' has always taken priority over 'romance'. Let me explain.

In Shiguang's case, they never got that 'feeling nervous around each other', 'butterflies in stomach' love. Instead what they get? They get the 'bickering with each other', 'call each other nicknames', 'doing each other favours', 'comfort each other without sharing a word' love. They live in each other's presence without a doubt in mind about the other's loyalty. Needless to say, that's very reminiscent of an old married couple who have passed the 'honeymoon phase' way back. Except, Shiguang never had that honeymoon phase.

I think, to get the most out of my perspective, I need to give some more cultural context:

As Asians, we:

Are not very big on PDA

Most of still prefer arranged marriage, as most of us value partnership between spouses than typical romance stuff anyway.

More than feelings, we prefer cooperation between partners. Also, we heavily condone divorces(bad thing, I know) meaning we,like Shiguang,value 'partnership for life'.

(hilariously Shiguang's 'partnership' parallels a 'arranged marriage scenario very well XD)

They demonstrate a bond that only come with living together for a long term, sharing life with each other. A kind kind of fondness that grows with time. It is showcased in season two when CXS was told lg was dead, instead of recalling some grand sentimental moment, recalls all the little moments of lg (affectionately) reprimanding cxs. I don't know if I can call it 'romantic',but it definitely comes across as extremely domestic.

As someone who lives with my family, my parents interactions are very interesting to observe keeping this context in mind. They undoubtedly love and care for each other, but don't leave a single opportunity to criticize and mock(playfully) each other. Does that sound familiar?

Moreover, 'loyalty' and 'trust' are the most important values that are cherished among couples.

So if someone says, 'shiguang have zero romantic chemistry ' maybe we need to keep in mind that maybe 'romance' can mean different things in different contexts. It's something only the people who are experiencing the relationship can tell.

I know that's not what the director intended, but I think we can experience and expand our perceptions while engaging in a piece of media. Shiguang may not be a romantic couple, but they live like one, and their bond is not any lesser because of it.

I could've said a lot of things but my thoughts are all jumbled up now. I know there are a lot of things to talk about Link Click, but let's be honest , Shiguang is at the heart of it and I'll not get tired of talking about them.

Anyway, feel free to share your thoughts :)

[batchilla]

Behold! A pinned post!

Wow. Lot of good information to come.

Why are you a batchilla?

Cursed by witch. Help. I am a simple creature powered by the 'number go up' and 'people talk to me' drive. Engaging with my work, such as Reblogging, sending asks, or replying to the post is the best way to help keep me motivated and producing words. Likes are lovely, but are on tumblr, kind of meaningless.

Requests?

No NSFW. It’ll never happen.

Open to them, but I make no promises. You can send me ideas and if I’m inspired or excited I’ll make something. If not… ask someone else or maybe try your hand at writing. Join the dark side. We have cookies.

Minors:

please read

While as of this post MY content is minor safe without intention to change that, and minors are welcome to read, send asks or requests, I respectfully ask that you don’t DM me, thank you. I will also add that I may at times Reblog NSFW content. I trust you to not read that, out of respect for me, other authors and the law. It will be clearly tagged, and I hope you enjoy reading the age appropriate parts of my blog.

Things I made

The most married divorced couple - series

Complicated - I imagine this to be this Reader characters first kiss with Jason but you could read it as a stand alone. Teen reader and Jason (they are adults in the main timeline).

Five times Robin came to your rescue... plus one time he didn't: coming soon.

Chapter one: till death do us part. Angst. Trigger warning for threats made to the life of a child.

Chapter two: four years later.

No prizes for guessing when this occurs.

Chapter three: Jason comes home.

This is a flashback to Jason's first return post divorce.

Aka I bully Jason for two pages.

Chapter four: Jason's fine. He's so calm about hearing about your dating life. He's c h i l l. Chapter five: coming soon Chapter six: coming soon

Fata Morgana

Jason Todd is a knight. You are a princess. Eventually you might smooch. However there’s a whole lot of secrets, lies, and not truely unrequited feelings to work through first. And a rather troublesome earl.

Chapter one. Chapter two. chapter three. This is an ongoing series.

You know I KNOW, right? an ongoing series.

you have a new partner in detective Grayson, and he has a secret. You know the truth, but delight in toying with him.

Chapter one: Your new partner, Grayson. Your new partner, Grayson, has a secret. But does he really think that mask is going to fool you?

Chapter two: false accusations A old partner returns. You draw your battlelines and begin the prank war. Chapter three: Coming soon. Taglist Please follow @batchilla-announces-fics to stay updated

[ilikekidsshows]

So I watched the first 2 seasons or so of ML because I thought the premise was super cute and fun, and while I had a generally fun time watching it was just a bit too episodic for me so I just kinda stopped watching (like, I recall even the writers at the time saying the eps could be watched in any order, which was for me enough of a sign that this wouldn’t go anywhere that I just couldn’t feel truly invested). But like I said the premise was so good I’d peek into the fandom from time to time just to see how things were going and it seems like I made the right choice to drop when I did, lol. I just fell into a rabbit hole of ml salt posts recently and feel like a lot of my early concerns ended up super validated. However, even though I haven’t watched the show in years I can’t help but feel disappointed at so much wasted potential. I’m curious as someone who still watches, do you engage with fanfic / other fandom stuff as an alternative to canon?

---

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I don’t watch, not even to hate watch. I follow from the sidelines and read episode transcripts and check out singular scenes. It’s like, when you move away from a crappy town, and there’s some news article about how bad that place is having it and you read it for some vindication of the “I knew it was shit, I hope others can see that too now and get out” kind.

I have a very hard time engaging with Miraculous fanfiction for the same reason I have a hard time watching even my old favorite episodes. The way Miraculous shat the bed retroactively made all the things set up in the previous seasons crap too. Oh, you like the lovesquare? Well, in canon Marinette doesn’t give a damn about Adrien or Cat Noir as a person, only being interested in him as a prize. Have fun watching them grow closer in the previous seasons! Oh, you want Adrien to get freedom away from his abusive dad? Well, in canon he gets gaslit into thinking his dad was a good person and he’s now stuck living in a world his father created. Also he’s a remote control robot and can therefore never be truly free! What a fun twist!

Adrien’s entire species got retconned in a way that makes a happy ending impossible, and the main romantic couple got twisted in a way that I just can’t see our lead actually caring about her romantic partner, unless she was blatantly out of character. That makes it very hard to enjoy fanfic, even when they don’t bring these problems up, there’s very little a fan writer can do to disconnect their story from canon enough for these things to not be serious problems. Currently, the only Miraculous fic I’m reading is the Divorce AU, Perfect Paradise, where Adrien finds out all this and instantly divorces Marinette, and the fic is about them dealing with the fallout of Adrien having been married to and having had kids with someone who, while still loving him, was mistreating him to such a degree.

And the irony of this is that the show started getting noticeably worse as soon as it started being less episodic. For many other shows, that’s usually when the writers really cut their teeth and the show starts being more engaging as a result. For Miraculous, the episodic format actually worked to lessen the issues with the writing.

[fadelbison]

Hi I would love to hear you talk about this pls: "EarthMix’s primary dilemma comes from the fact that they’re very likely actually dating."

anon im screaming you would have me spin conspiracy theories you would have me peddle hearsay like a dirty dirty tabloid? I most certainly will, the only reason I don't usually is because unprompted it seems belligerent and crazy but this way its only crazy.

Even insider hush hush rumor mill aside, let's look at EM from a fanservice perspective yeah? I want to be the first to say that I forced myself into EM because from the outside ie not following them on socmed and watching the odd BTS or interview here and there they seemed like the most normal and least likely to be real. I was feeling a little too crazy/overstimulated and a little too invested with ZeeNunew and needed a little distance from how high they had cranked the we are a real couple vibe. I'd just watched ATOTs and was reeling because it was both my first intro to Aof's brilliance as well as Earth and Mix's and then a little venture into Earth Mix Space had me totally sold that this was the great on screen chemistry sweet bromance pair for me. Except. I can't even explain it - it's not that they've had any significant pivots in the way they do fan service. In fact, EM are pretty low skinship in their fan service even now but just the way they talk and act around each other like it's obvious that they are deep into this partnership. But why does that necessarily mean they're in a relationship?

Of course, that is because of the goofs like idk I know they are actors and these could be staged by why would they? the second hand embarrassment is palpable. They very nearly live together, which obviously you won't know unless you paid attention enough to which cat belongs to whom lol from lives and stories and such. Not to mention Divorce Era and this totally heartbreaking interview from Mix. It is palpable how ride or die Earth and Mix are for each other. And their fan service right now is just like looking into what's probably going on in RL which is their long, blissful engagement lol

All of that to say Earthmix fan service is very non-traditional. The vast majority of their top hit gay moments don't come from events or BTS interviews but just from how they are with each other and they keep their actual PDA fairly private. Other than the rare occasion that Mix decides to play along with the top/bottom dynamic they're just two dudes that like each other???? very old married couple about it sure but still

[girlactionfigure]

Debunking the antisemitic  Talmud quotes meme promoted by @DanBilzerian and boosted by @RealCandaceO and her ilk

A thread.

Preface: None of this is new; most of these fake quotes originate from a couple of antisemitic German books that are over a hundred years old and they've been debunked over and over in many places. Sadly, most of them are not so accessible so I'll go over them myself. 

As far as my credentials, I'm a Rabbi who is in his second decade teaching Talmud for a living. This is something that occupies a large part of my day.

It's truly an eye-rolling moment whenever I see these quoted. Let me show you why:

1) Soferim 15

Mistranslation + taken out of context. 

In a discussion about generalities, Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai said that even the best members of your enemy nation, you should kill in a time of war instead of having mercy on them. This is rooted in the exodus from Egypt:

It says that after the plagues, when the Jews were in the midst of the sea, they were pursued by Pharoh and the rest of the egyptians on chariots. Now, how could they have chariots if all of their animals died in a plague?

Those who feared G-d brought them inside as per Moshe. 

So, they believed in the words of Moshe, they believed that G-d was sending those plagues on Egypt, and yet they still decided after seeing everything all the miracles they saw and knowing what they put the Jewish people through, to pursue them at sea in order to kill them. 

This is why Rabbi Shimon says that, in a time of war, don't have mercy on 'the best' of your enemies but rather kill them. We can see from this that they might have been the best members of their society but they still ultimately wanted to go through with their murderous intents. 

 Yevamot 98a

Fake translation, and out of context. 

There's a discussion about what happens when identical twin brothers converted, one marries a Jewish woman and he dies without having an heir: does his existing brother perform levirate marriage, or give her a form of divorce. 

There's a whole debate about whether or not he's permitted to do a levirate marriage.

One of the arguments that is brought is that since there's so much licentiousness in the non-Jewishness nation at the time, we don't know who is anyone's father as such, we don't allow it. 

To back this opinion, a verse from Ezekiel about the licentiousness of the Egyptians that compares their views on relationships with the way animals mate with each others without caring about who they mate with. 

So, in no way does it say that "children of non-Jews are animals." 

3) Bava Metzia 114b

Fake translation, and completely out of context. 

In short, there's a discussion about the idea of ritual purity, and whether the corpse of a non-Jew renders you impure if you touch their grave or not. According to Rabbi Shimon ben Gamliel, no. Here's why: 

He quotes a verse in relation to ritual purity that says that only Jews are called "Adam." 

Now, antisemites translate this as meaning man. Except, there are four terms that define man: Adam, Ish, Enosh and Gever. They all have different spiritual meanings.

So, Rabbi Shimon is not saying here that "non-Jews are not human", there's nothing about how non-Jews are beast at all mentioned there. In fact, the ones being compared to animals here are Jews (sheep). 

4) Gad Shas 2:2 

This is a fake quote. There's no such thing as Gad Shas.

In fact, both the Bible &  Talmud prescribe lashes for a Jewish man who engages in relations with a non-Jewish girl whether for pleasure or "marriage" (such unions are not legally recognized as marriage). 

5) Avodah Zara 36b

Fake translation and out of context.

Yes, non-Jewish girls are considered niddah from birth. So is the status of any non-Jewish woman who is unmarried as well. And married women for nearly half a month. 

It has nothing to do with "filth" at all. 

In fact, the reason why the Rabbis decreed that non-Jewish women are considered to be in a state of niddah from birth is to make it an even worse punishment if a Jew were to stay and have relations with one of them.

The Torah is really big into not intermarriage. Lots of verses. 

6) Sanhedrin 54b

Fake translation & wildly out of context.

This is a discussion specifically about *forbidden relationships* and whether it makes you susceptible to the death penalty. What's debated here is whether a person who engages in such horrible actions is put to death. 

The Sages determined that before the age of 9, children are completely unaware & don't understand what relations are. Between the ages of 9 & 13, while they do understand, they are not considered guilty whether passive or active. 

The whole discussion is about their victimizer. 

So here, the Jewish that is codified is that if a man forces someone between the ages of 9 & 13 to engage with him, that person gets the death penalty (and his victim does not) and under the age of 9, he does not get the death penalty but rather he gets lashes in public. 

The fact that he gets lashes for it instead of the death penalty doesn't mean that it's less than a crime. It's because it's considered something other than having relations, because a child that age is unable to understand what is happening and as such it's a different crime. 

For the record, Halacha also permits you to straight up kill this victmizer if you catch him in the act and it's necessary to stop, so it's not like he's being protected or we don't believe his crime is not something heinous. 

7) Sanhedrin 58b

Fake translation

The opinion of Rabbi Chanina is that if a non-Jew strikes a Jew, he is worthy of receiving the death penalty, as we saw when an Egyptian struck a Jew and Moshe killed him. 

Jewish law, however, says that a non-Jew is not executed for this. 

This is why so many of these are infuriating. This is one opinion talking about how someone "ought to" get something for doing something, but somehow it becomes transformed as "This is what Judaism believes." 

8) Sanhedrin 57a

Fake translation, plus out of context. 

Here, there is a whole discussion about the 7 Laws of Noach and whether a non-Jew who transgresses them is liable to the death penalty or not. 

Here  the Talmud states that laws against murder are stronger for non-Jews. 

As is codified in Halacha, a non-Jew who kills a fetus for example is going to be put to death, while it might not be the case for a Jew depending on the case. Same if he killed someone who was dying, or put them in a situation where they died indirectly because of him. 

So, if a non-Jew hired a hitman, locked someone and left them to starve to death or pushed them in front of a lion, they will be put to death while a Jew might not be in this situation.

That doesn't mean that a Jew is allowed to do such a thing; the Jew will in fact be punished. 

The only distinction here is that "7 mitsvot you can't violate, you can do whatever you want but otherwise you deserve the death penalty if you violate them."

Think of it like Adam in the Garden being told he has one thing to do, and one thing only. Breaking it is much worse. 

Since for Jews there are 613, there are more punishments than just the death penalty/nothing, which means that in certain cases, a Jew might be punished with lashes or spend the rest of his life in prison versus being put to death. Doesn't mean that non-Jewish lives don't matter. 

9) Tosfot  Yevamot 84b

Fake quote. 

I mean, I went through the Tosafot on that page twice and there's absolutely nothing even close. 

It's also confusing, because why with a dog specifically? That has no meaning to us, dogs aren't seen as particularly bad in Judaism. 

10) Bava Metzia 24a

Out of context. 

This is the closest one to being accurate, and yet at the same time wildly out of context. We start by discussing a case where a man saves a lost object from a wild animal, at sea, the flooding of a river, or finds it in a public place. 

There's a debate: did the owner despair of finding the object and, as a result, it is considered ownerless so the person who saved it is permitted to keep it, or does it still belong to his original owner who still hopes to retrieve it eventually. 

"Is the item owned or ownerless?" is the basic gist, and the answer is that if you find it in a place where it's a majority of non-Jewish inhabitants, it is considered ownerless (even if it belonged to a Jew in the first place) because it is not the way of people to get them back 

So it has nothing to do whether the owner of the object isn't Jewish (so you can keep it) but if he was Jewish you'd give it back. 

It has to do with whether the majority there are likely to give back such lost items or not, and it simply was not the case in those societies. 

11) Bava Kamma 113a

Fake quote, and out of context. 

This is a discussion that has to do with tax collectors who were ripping off people at the time and enriching themselves on the back of citizens by claiming taxes that didn't belong to them. Doesn't matter if Jewish or not. 

So there is a discussion about whether you are allowed to lie in order to protect yourself and your money from those thieves. 

The same way you'd be allowed to lie to "circumvent" a non-Jew about whether you were hiding a Jew in your attic during the Second World War. 

12) Avodah Zara 22a-22b

Mistranslation, and out of context. 

Basically, it says that you're not allowed to leave your animals alone in the inns of non-Jews at the time since you're putting a stumbling block in front of the blind as they commonly engaged in bestiality back then. 

I mean I don't think there's much to say about this, it's clear that in many places in the world this is just as common today as it was back then, and even in the more rural areas of the "developed" world it's still something that happens. 

The less said, the better. 

Conclusion:

This wraps up this ridiculous piece of propaganda. None of the quotes were 1) accurate, 2) complete and 3) in context. Some of them, straight up lies. 

Don't learn theology from memes, people. 

[froggychair05]

Hello, my friends!!! @jelo-boi and I have been cooking the past few days working on our MCSM Enchanted AU (AKA Minecraft: Enchanted Mode), a re-telling of the 2007 Disney movie Enchanted but with the funny blocks.

Putting a cut here because this is a bit long 🫶

Characters:

Jesse as Giselle

Lukas as Robert

Petra as Edward

F!Jesse (Jessica) as Nancy

Ivor as Nathaniel

Reuben as Pip

Romeo as Narissa (the disguise he uses is Vos)

Nell as Morgan

Olivia as Sam (the secretary)

Axel as Arty (the construction worker)

Isa as Robert’s boss

Milo as the other divorce lawyer

Jack as the guy singing in the park

Nurm as Clara (the old woman on the bus)

Cassie Rose as the bus driver

Ellegaard and Magnus as Phoebe and Ethan (the couple getting a divorce)

Summary:

Things start out in the fairytale land of Beaconlasia, where Jesse lives in a house in the woods until she’s saved from the Prismarine Colossus by Princess Petra and the two are to be married.

However, Petra’s stepfather King Romeo doesn’t want to give up the crown (he’s been trying to keep Petra from meeting a boy) and he disguises himself as an old man, tricking Jesse and pushing him down a well.

At this point, Jesse ends up in the middle of Manhattan. He wanders around the city, lost, until he quite literally falls into the arms of a divorce lawyer named Lukas and his younger sister Nell, and he goes to stay with them.

Meanwhile, Petra and Jesse’s pig friend Reuben venture to the real world to find her, and shortly after, Petra’s valet and Romeo’s servant, Ivor, goes through to try and stop her from finding him.

Lukas is engaged to a woman named Jessica, but shenanigans happen and he winds up falling in love with Jesse, and Jesse winds up falling in love with him as well. Ivor tries to poison Jesse a few times, and then eventually Petra finds him.

Except Jesse doesn’t want to go back because he loves Lukas and he likes being around Nell, but he agrees to return to Beaconlasia after going on a date with Petra.

They wind up going to a ball and Jesse dances with Lukas while Petra dances with Jessica, and then when it’s over, Petra and Jesse go to leave, but Romeo shows up disguised as the old man again and poisons Jesse with an apple. Petra finds out and tries to give him true love’s kiss, but it doesn’t work, so he has Lukas kiss him and he wakes up. Then Romeo turns into a dragon and captures Lukas, but Jesse saves him and Romeo falls off of the building and dies.

Jesse and Lukas have their happy ending while Jessica goes back to Beaconlasia with Petra and they get married, and Ivor writes a book and Reuben also writes a book and they all live happily ever after.

Important Details:

—> In the animated bits in Beaconlasia, they are Minecraft blocks.

—> Nell is Lukas’ younger sister, not his daughter. She’s still six, but with some of the mannerisms and attitude that Nell has.

—> Jesse cuts Lukas’ curtains to make his clothes—the suspenders are the patterned bits.

—> Instead of the running gag of Giselle’s wedding dress getting stuck in everything, it’s that Jesse’s suspenders keep getting caught on stuff.

—> Aiden is Lukas’ ex who left, causing him to have a sort of sour view on love (Aiden is also Malvina from Disenchanted. More on this later.)

—> Jesse and Jessica are long-lost siblings. Back when they were still babies, Jesse was more of a stubborn, adventurous type prone to wandering, while Jessica was a bit less stubborn and more reserved. Their mother was strolling them through Times Square on the same day maintenance work was also being done on the sewer, particularly the manhole that leads to Beaconlasia. When the stroller was just in place while their mother wasn't paying attention, Jesse crawled out while people were crossing the road. He got lost in the crowd, and eventually crawled all his way to the manhole and ended up stranded in Beaconlasia. Baby Jesse first wound up in the entrance to the wishing well inside the castle walls, but some parts of the walls had cracks that were big enough for him to crawl through. Eventually, he kept going on and kept roaming until he reached the forest, and there, the animals found him and took him in as their own. Ever since that day, Jessica grieved the loss of her brother, and as years went by, she wound up hiding those feelings inside her. Then, when she meets Jesse for the first time with Lukas at his apartment, she's initially jealous-angry at Lukas, but when she rides the taxi, she realizes how Jesse looks eerily similar to her, and she's like, “It can't be him, can it? It was so long ago. That's impossible.” After that, Jessica is less bothered by the notion of Lukas cheating on her and moreso by the notion that the person Lukas was with may be her long-lost twin. When she calls Lukas after receiving the flowers post-That’s How You Know, Jessica also asks for Jesse to come along with him to her workplace. Right after the scene where Jessica is awed by the flowers and thanks Lukas for the ball invitation in person, she calls for Jesse to have a talk with her. They have a heart-to-heart talk about how Jesse may have been separated from them since they were babies, and both confirm that he really is Jessica’s sister. Then they hug and they both cry and comfort each other as they realize they’re both family.

—> Dewey was one of Jesse’s friends back in Beaconlasia and he comes to the real world with Petra and Reuben, finds them while they’re at the park, and then stays with them when Reuben goes back to Beaconlasia

Relationships:

Green Suspenders Jesse and Lukas

They meet when Jesse falls off of a billboard and Lukas brings him back to his and Nell’s apartment to stay the night. After some initial misunderstandings with Lukas’ fiancée and coworkers, he begins to truly care about Jesse, and Jesse grows reluctant to return to his own world after realizing his feelings for Lukas.

Female Jesse and Petra

Jessica falls for Petra while they’re at the ball. Taken by surprise by Petra’s completely straightforward and earnest nature, she’s swept off her feet after Lukas falls for Jesse. The two return to Beaconlasia together and get married.

Ivor and Romeo

Ivor is entirely devoted to serving Romeo, but Romeo couldn’t care less about him. Once Ivor realizes this, he turns on him and helps Petra and Jesse defeat him.

Magnus and Ellegaard

A couple who were going to get divorced before Jesse stumbled into things and re-ignited their spark.

If you’ve never seen this movie, PLEASE check it (and the sequel) out! They’re both so good!!

EDIT!! Check the reblogs for Jelo’s half of the post :D

[genevievemd]

Hello all. I’ve risen from the dead!

I was thinking about McRam today and thought I’d give yall an update on what I HC they’re up to right now (since I still had things planned out for this time — actually I have a lot still in the planned out timeline lol)

As of October, Gen is officially a NYT Best Seller. She got her first book offer a couple months into her pregnancy and the book was published and printed in the beginning of October (said book is somewhere in my master list, I think under MC Monday)

she’s appeared on a few morning shows, including GMA to talk about it!

She and Ethan now share a publicist.

Ethan is still CoM and surprisingly still enjoying it — especially the set hours, he’s able to spend a lot more time with his daughter. He’s been offered a chance to teach at Harvard Med part time, but hasn’t taken the offer yet. He does teach a lecture or skills lab at the hospital to the interns once a month. To make sure they still have the fear of god in them like the good old days lol

Our sweet Lizzie is about to turn 4 months old this week! And have her very first Christmas!

Gen is still on maternity leave, headed back in the new year. Ethan has just returned from his paternity leave.

Idk if I mentioned it over this past year but McRam did move into a bigger apartment (in the same complex) during G’s pregnancy

Alan had a heart attack I believe in September? It’s in my notes somewhere, he’s fine.

Health aside, Alan is loving being a grandpa and Beverley is honored to be considered Lizzie’s grandma

He and Bev moved in together over the summer. They have no plans to remarry but do plan to spend the rest of their lives together.

Tobias and Camila had their second kid in July, a baby girl. I’m pretty sure I named her Margaret.

I never mentioned it — I don’t think — but they did get married. They went to the courthouse

Aurora and Ben are engaged! Planning a wedding for next year.

Sienna and Casey are pregnant finally! (After a MC earlier this past year)

Kyra and her wife Bea are in the process of moving to Italy, semi-permanently. And thinking about IVF or adoption

Raf is still in Brazil. Loving his life there.

Bryce and Natalie are enjoying life with an almost one year old! And moved into a townhome a year ago!

Jackie is still single and loving it! I have always planned for her to be single forever, and she’s 100% happy with that choice. She has relationships here and there but she’s happy single and focused on medicine.

Elijah and Phoebe are living together, he’s looking into a research position at the Mayo Clinic

Naveen is enjoying being a psuedo-grandpa to Lizzie Ramsey. And he still works on a limited, semi-retired schedule.

Gen’s mother, Marie moved to Boston earlier this year (or last year I can’t remember which) after her divorce for Gen’s father, she lives in the basement in-law apartment of Bryce and Natalie’s house

Henry and Clara are happy in Portland, thinking about having a third and final child.

Robert is still single, but getting to know his daughter, Ashely. He and Marie are getting along swimmingly these days.

Gen, Aurora, Tobias and Baz are still making up the diagnostics team and solving cases!

And one final note, McRam is returning Miami in January! Gen is going to be a keynote speaker and talk about the team and her book! Lizzie is going with them, Ethan is there as a support for his wife and nothing more and he’s never been happier about it.

That the update for yall! Happy holidays ❤️

[kojandra]

✨dramas i watched in 2024 and my ratings for them✨

May contain spoilers <3

1. A Shop for Killers, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Oh this has set the bar for 2024 already....where is next season!!! Had me hooked I didn't even realize it was a series and not a movie. Only complaint is that it needs to be longer!

2. Doctor Slump ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Watched it for the mains but fell in love with the characters. Burnout talk is necessary and I loved seeing Ha Neul's mom/family grow...as a family. The acceptance of Jeong Woo and his story was so so heartwarming and heartbreaking. I would have ate this up three years ago, but I feel like I've seen this before.

3. Flex x Cop ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Nice story that kept me engaged though a bit cheesy! A fun watch but I feel like it will not my best "fun" watch this year.

4. Queen of Tears ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ all the rom com tropes and soo hyun x ji won .....need I say more?

5. Military Prosecutor Doberman ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Decided to try another one of Ahn Bo Hyun's drama after Flex x Cop was not a hit. This was MUCH better. I learned a lot about military corruption....but something isn't hitting.

5. The Whirlwind ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.5 Okay, political dramas are Kim Hee Ae's THING bc this was so good. Only thing I hated was that her character was a bit weak in such crucial times....opposite of what she preached and not very girl boss of her smh.

6. Connection ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Watched it for Mi Do but oh my godddd????? A story about friendship in sick and twisted way that I can't help but love. Beginning to end...pacing was amazing, casting amazing, binged it so hard....wish I could watch it for the first time again.

7. The Frog ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (ngl i watched this for chanyeol). Did I just watch a masterclass in acting or what!? Must watch. But I am also in a thriller/murder mystery vibe this year I guess.

8. Collectors (Movie, 2020) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.5 no 'cause why did I like that??? A story about a corporate chairman that likes dynasty relics and a group of grave diggers that are hired to find a very specific relic. That's all I'll say. But c'mon....

9. Good Partner ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ The last divorce law drama I watched was Divorce Attorney Shin, I believe (highly rec that one if you like law dramas!). Attorney Shin focused a lot on the main character's personal vengeance and this one focuses on the job itself. Justice for

10. Sweet & Sour (Movie, 2021) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Girl, just watch it. Quick synopsis: how a couple navigates a long term relationship. I thought this was gonna be fun and not that deep but oh myyyyy I was seated. Watch until the end!!!

11. Love Next Door ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Oh they're so cute. They're so cute! The last time I saw Hae-In was in D.P. and this was so refreshing. Neighbourhood friends....fall in love? Sign me up!!! Took off a star because the characters got on my nerves after a while. Seung-ho loser era was not cool!!

12. Miss Night and Day ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.5 Watched for Lee Jung Eun and Choi Jin Hyuk but got hooked! Fantasy drama about a 28 year old that cannot seem to pass the civil exam and find a job. She got possessed by her dead Aunt though. That's when the fun starts ;) Annoying last two episodes though....

13. Work Later, Drink Now ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ If you liked Hello, My Twenties! you will LOVE this. Loved this trio. Watch it! (Slice of life-esque).

14. Work Later, Drink Now 2 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Something different but the same magic as the first series. Love the introduction of new characters and their significance in the girls' lives. Important character development too. Fight and then make up! That's life.

15. Mr. Plankton ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Took off a star not because it was bad, but because it was so SAD. Must watch for this pairing and this chemistry. It's currently January 9th...as I'm looking through this list.....I got reminded again how sad this drama was. NEVER again.

16. Virtuous Business ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ This was a fun! one! I loved seeing the friend group develop. The need for a thriller sub plot in all dramas is killing me though ahhaha

17. Marry My Husband ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ binged this and honestly wTF just happened? That was so good LOL. All the characters the viewer is supposed to hate is just soooo hateable. Good on MC! For living her life!

18. The Judge from Hell - y'all I dropped it. It got repetitive :( But it was so good at the start. Not my cup of tea, I guess.

18. When the Phone Rings ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Honestly this was about to be a five star in December. I waited until the last episode aired to finish this list. Chemistry was off the charts, story was so wattpad but I ate it up, pacing was soooo good.....but..........all of a sudden there were two episodes that had their own crazy story line at the end. Using an ongoing genocide for plot rubs me the wrong way, I cannot get over that.

Dramas from this list I'll rewatch in the future: A shop for killers, queen of tears, miss night and day, work later drink now

[theworldremixed]

Fic Masterpost

I figured it's about time I did this. I mean they're all on AO3, but I figured having a Tumblr masterpost might put things in perspective as regards how much I've actually written lmao. Here we go.

Disclaimer: I mean, my writing is pretty mediocre, but I honestly find that the fandom space had to be filled out somewhat, so I started writing fic.

EarthMix

This is the pairing I've begun writing fic for again, so I have the most fics for EM.

Now unlocked. I don't think Joong is looking around for fic anymore, and certainly not on Tumblr. There are tons of unlocked fic in the tag, too, so there 'ya go!

The Stars, Our Witness 'Verse

The universe that started it all, partly as a way to archive EM activity before I became a fan, and partly as a way to stave off my delulu.

The Stars, Our Witness

Rating: E/NC17 Chapters: 16 (finished) Summary: They’re scared to cross boundaries. What happens when the lines blur? Tags: slow burn, friends to lovers, FWB, "canon rewrite" (in the sense of IRL being "canon" Warnings: divorce era. 'Nuff said.

2. supernova

Rating: E/NC17 Chapters: One-shot Summary: the same versions of 🌏 and 🪐 as in TSOW, but basically D/s pwp. Tags: pre-negotiated D/s; still a whole lot of longing.

3. of longing and loudness

Rating: E/NC17 Chapters: One-shot Summary: Oneshot set in the The Stars, Our Witness (TSOW) 'verse, and a reactionary fic post-LOL 2024. Tags: engaged!EarthMix

4. Beneath the Sunrise (in progress)

Rating: M (for now, but knowing me, this might go up) Chapters: 2 (so far, out of a slated 10) Summary: EarthMix get outed. They deal with the consequences. Tags: married!EarthMix, social media elements, bullying

General EarthMix fic

Mostly one-shots written as a reaction to a post, among other things.

laissez-faire

Rating: M Chapters: one-shot Summary: featuring Earth's obsession with mix's grey sofa Tags: engaged!EarthMix; domesticity

long distance

Rating: E/NC17 Chapters: one-shot Summary: of short reunions and busy schedules (lol honestly this has zero plot. I just missed them when they were in Japan for Happy Weekend, so I wrote a fic) Tags: PWP, quickie.

so here's the situation

Rating: E/NC17 Chapters: one-shot Summary: ~situationship~EarthMix (written after the Vivi interview had been released, and after they went on a museum simulation Van Gogh date literally the day after) Tags: situationship; we're dating but aren't together

househusbandry

Rating: G Chapters: one-shot Summary: Dreame gets EarthMix as endorsers for their vacuum. Why are they everyone's Favorite Married(TM) Couple? Tags: domesticity Note: This was written on my Notes app in like, 10 minutes, so the link is to my Twitter post to that fic.

in pari delicto (in progress; converting to prose)

OK so let me just write an author's note here. This is an unfinished Twitter social media AU because I would be writing about a topic I knew very, very well: law school. Now, I'm inclined to transform the fic to prose and transfer it to AO3 because I have no patience for the whole edit-edit concepts of socmed AUs and I honestly respect anyone who's done it. That said, I will likely continue this once I finish Beneath the Sunrise, or simultaneously as I write it.

PhuTian

Ah, ATOTS. Why do I love you so? Of course I'd write ATOTS fic.

re/live

Rating: E/NC17 Chapters: one-shot Summary: In which Tian celebrates his fifth year with his new heart in the best way. Tags: tian's birthday as an excuse to write smut, sloppy blowjobs, insecurity issues

old wives and the tales they tell

Rating: E/NC17 Chapters: one-shot Summary: Mayhaps Phupha has a kink. He refuses to validate the good Doctor Nam's speculation. Tags: domesticity kink, villager!tian, headcanon epilogue to ATOTS Note: Written in response to @earthmixsclowderofcats's Thai BL Kink Meme! Please show it some love and answer the prompts too please PLEASE!!

bad behavior

Rating: E/NC17 Chapters: one-shot Summary: Tian watches as Phupha grabs something from the nightstand – a pen? – and uncaps it. He holds Tian’s chin with one hand, and Tian feels the wet drag of the pen against his cheeks. “Chief, what are you—” “There,” Phupha says, “Whiskers.”

betwixt bewitched entanglements (in progress. might possibly discontinue.)

Rating: E/NC17 Chapters: 19 (out of a planned 15 lmao, I swear this was supposed to end earlier. Summary: Magic meets royalty meets a society walled off from the rest of the world. Tags: Royalty AU, Magic AU, political intrigue, slow burn Notes: Look. I got carried away writing this, and to be honest, the concept's flown so far away from me and the worldbuilding had been so solid in my head and I even know how this fic will end, but honestly? It's not getting engagement. That's not the sole reason for writing fic - of course not - but I'm not quite sure if it's worth my time and effort writing this out.

JimWen

10/31: So I just wrote this today woohoo!

the ebb and the flow

Rating: E Chapters: one-shot Summary: The first time after their last time. (Wen learns how to swim. Jim learns how to trust. A one-shot on the wandering thoughts of Wen and Jim as they navigate being in a relationship: the fear of stagnation, for Wen; and the fear of betrayal, for Jim.) Tags: introspective; plotless; PWP; alternate ending

OngsaSun

The first half of 23.5 excited me so elfin much that I'd write little tiny Ongsa character-explorations in between episodes. Here are the two I'd actually published.

gravity

Rating: G Chapters: one-shot Summary: Ongsa muses on the meadows of her mind. Tags: anxious!Ongsa

nightfall/daybreak

Rating: G Chapters: one-shot Summary: Ongsa is no stranger to the dark—that is, until she gives in to the light. Tags: depressed!Ongsa TW: "dark" as a metaphor for depression

[bell-multiverse-traveler]

I just need a opinion on this so for my GOBB infection Au that I want to make canon, Banbaleena is angel but she keeps this secret she was made as a opposite of Uthram/Banban (both gender and with him being a demon i think this would be nice). I may still be working on the story but I've got most of its down i just need to get it on paper before I forget it.

Next relationships that will be canon in this Au are the following:

-Banbaleena x Banban (both think they are married might be due because Uthram and Mason were)

-Nabnab x Nabbaleena (engaged)

-Oplea Bird x Terri Bird (they both have 6 cgicks what did you expect?)

-Queen Bouncella x Sir Dadadoo (divorced, despite how much i hate Sir D, I'd see these too like a unhappy divorced couple)

-Sheriff Toadster x Bittergiggle (although not a "official" couple, both have feelings for each other they are just too embarrassed to admit it)

Note: Queen Bouncella is doing better after the divorce Sir D isn't he still thinks they're married AND don't let him come within 50 feet of her

What about the other characters?

Well although i dont have the clearest idea about the others, it's something I did have a idea to bring Captain Fiddles into this, he was given a small dose of Gervenim and he kinda mutated,, and it's the same thing with NabNab and maybe Jumbo Josh? Im not sure.

Other odd things

All of the characters have they're own little rooms that they stay at, still working on it AND the other Bittergiggle experiments will be apart of this Au

I dont know if anyone will read up to here but if you have please give me your opinion and please remember that is currently being made a 13 year old and im really nervous posting this, any questions please ask, it'll hopefully make me more confident about this Au, and thank you again for reading this