#my ol' noodle

[huginsmemory]

Been thinking about how Bill legitimately had a horrifying reason (the literal progressive disintegration of the nightmare realm that erases whatever it disintegrates from existence completely) to move himself and his crew into a new dimension. Like that's terrifying. And yet he never utilizes this to his favour. He could have been honest about this with Ford, and you KNOW as long as Bill didn't mention plans of overtaking the earth, Ford would've made the portal for him, both out of Ford's own interest and because Ford when faced with these big moral questions will pull through. But this is a card Bill NEVER plays because although he needs to leave the dimension, he cannot lose face. He can't put aside his pride and admit to the humility that he needs to flee from his dimension, that he's not actually all powerful. And so instead he pretends to be a muse and when Ford figures out something else is going on, instead of being open and humble and saying that his dimension is unravelling, Bill focuses on that he's going to over take earth, that he's actually been a monster all along, surprise Ford!

And part of it is definitely because Bill's built himself up on power and violence and to grovel and earnestly ask for help, to admit that he cannot stop the unraveling of his dimension completely invalidates that; showing vulnerability? Can't do that, even under the guise of lying to get his way. And part of it makes you wonder if it's also a form of self-sabotage, because underneath his deep denial Bill is guilty over what he occurred; he sees himself as a monster and so he'll be that monster, and having people recognize that feels good in the same way that pressing a bruise feels good. But it makes you wonder what would've happened if Bill even just was open about his dimension unravelling and had lied about overtaking the earth.

It's also interesting because although Bill has SOME charisma and can manipulate people decently well (as evidenced by his cult, and pandering to people's desires with Ford, Mabel and Blendin), he refuses to be vulnerable, refuses to not be true to his off-putting self, even when if he was just vulnerable of pretended to not be himself, to put aside the (false) pride he has in himself he would've gotten a portal by now. and part of me wonders if it's because it's this false pride that built on insecurity and denial on who he is he cannot drop that mask.

Further thoughts on this!

[puppppppppy]

fake ep idea + doodles

[subaru-meteorlight]

Thinking about kieran with porygon z got me in a chokehold you’d think he’d know right. He’d know. That its evolution is effectively a corruption. Pushing porygon2 to upgrade beyond its limits until it’s corrupted and broken. Much like himself. He’s purposely corrupting his pokemon/his self. He’ll do anything to get stronger, even if it means losing and destroying himself in the process. Absolute dumbass. Just be normal and run eviolite porygon2 bruh

actually looking at his champion team is driving me insane?? Bro has prankster screens and drizzle+hurricane/thunder+helping hand. All these pokemon with their HA (not to mention the 6Vs tho that’s a given for most of the dlc anyway). Incineroar. Dragonite with tera normal in the files tho he never uses it (normal being a common tera type for espeed dragonite) Also replacing poliwrath with politoed is FOUL lmfao (if you’re insane and delusional like me you can spin this into something about restarting and rewriting his image, throwing away his weak self) (also he brings poliwrath back during mochi mayhem so like. )

and iirc besides gym leaders who terastallize their ace into their specialised type, kieran is the only one who terastallizes his pokemon into a type different from hydrapple’s og types? Why fighting tho. The only advantage I can see is to resist bug and hit ice with fighting tera blast??? There are better options for hydrapple’s tera type but if you say so buddy. Point is he’s one of the only ones who doesn’t use a Pokémon’s default tera type which is interesting, he’s not just going tera orb yippee (blank soulless stare) but actually. Y’know. Utilising the type change aspect of tera types.

[imminent-danger-came]

I'll never get over the fact that MK trades his friends for power to save his friends. What's wrong with him

[giggly-squiggily]

hi friend!! how are you holding up? :)

Hey friend! If I’m being completely honest- mentally I feel like utter crap; both for given reasons and some personal things going on in my IRL life that have been leaving me a bit more down than usual; hence my spacey presence here on the ol’ hell sight 😅

That said, I’m determined to find and celebrate the brighter things in life! My birthday is next week, I’ve been working through my backlog of otome games in my free time with moderate success (Tengoku Struggle is amazing btw just gonna throw that out there) and I’ve been living for the new Blue Lock season! They’re small things, but right now they’re helping me hang in there.

I hope you’re doing alright right now yourself friend 💖 May you find joy and comfort in things you love! Take care, treat yourself to something that makes you happy and remember that you’re always welcomed to come by and chat via asks here on my blog!

Sending lots of hugs to everyone! 💖💖💖💖

[rexscanonwife]

Hello lovelies!! As you may know I'm on vacation in Puerto Rico right now with my amazing partner and having an absolute BLAST 🥺🥺💘💗💘💗💘 it's been so much fun hanging out with ruby and their family and feeling like part of it!

At the same time tho (and I've been talking about this with them)...being on a tropical island and hanging out at the beach has got me thinking about Jacob again 😳😳

[isdalinarhot]

I wish “Dalinar is beefyfat” was a True Canon Fact and not just a thing I’m doing to correct Sanderson’s shortcomings for this shit + I hauve covid. It could be so beautiful if I didn’t have to fight off thirst trap ish Dalinar With Abs fanart from every artist horny for Dalinar but me

[i-normally-dont]

The Terrors of Pelican Town

My farmer and Shane, best buds forever

Was trying something with perspective that I don't think ended up working but overall I'm happy with the piece

[quartervirus]

Winter Joyride

I am real bad at staying current with my art.

Anyway, here's a dumb thing from back in January I forgot existed until just now.

Walking Rafale on the ice is an experience once he spots his best friends across the park ...

[hoshifighting]

the ''ick's'' seventeen would give

seungcheol: would act tough in front of his friends, and with you would be talking like; pweaseee/otay/i wuv u so much 🥺 like—shutthefuckup

jeonghan: stole your lip gloss. yep, dead serious. you look over, and he’s pulling out your cherry gloss, pouting at himself in his phone camera to check it. then he has the audacity to judge you if it’s not his color. like, “babe, don’t you think this is a bit bright?”

joshua: man has this cringe little habit of saying “no cap” at the worst times, and he’s always wrong. burnt his toast? “no cap, that was the toaster’s fault.” got pulled over? “no cap, that cop’s jealous of my car.” you’re in a horror movie, and this dude would whisper, “no cap, i think we should split up.”

junhui: starts telling a hilarious story about his day but accidentally mixes it up with a story he already told you last week. he’s all “wait, have i told you this before?”

hoshi: eats with so much sound. slurping, groaning, making it a whole event. like, eating ramen? nah, he’s performing ramen, making eye contact, giving each bite a sound effect. and it’s so bad you’re rethinking why you even suggested dinner. you can hear every noodle hitting his mouth. done.

woozi: texts you “wyd” every fifteen minutes. like you’re just supposed to be sitting around waiting for his updates on what you’re doing, right? he’s the kind of guy who’ll FaceTime you just to check if you’re having too much fun without him. and the way he says “wyd?” – every. time.

wonwoo: he’s got a pet name for his gaming console. this boy will sit there, caressing his controller and calling it “baby” while yelling at his avatar. it’s all fun and games until he actually ignores you mid-sentence to mutter sweet nothings to his PS5.

minghao: changes his accent mid-sentence to be "fancy." like, you’re talking normal, but suddenly he’s doing his best British impression for no damn reason. “oh, quite right, love, terribly splendid.” and it’s out of nowhere, totally unprompted, with a smirk like he just did something magical. you’re cringing so hard you’re practically folding into yourself.

mingyu: he’ll be all smooth one minute, but then he gets real comfortable and lets out the loudest, most unholy fart you’ve ever heard, like it was a fart held since WW2.

seokmin: pulls out a super old toy he’s kept since childhood and starts playing with it, getting all emotional about “the good ol’ days.” like, bro, you’re a grown-ass man, and you’re here with a plastic dinosaur, talking about how it “used to roar.”

seungkwan: catches a whiff of something weird in the room and just straight-up sniffs his armpits. he does it casually, like it’s no big deal, then he looks at you dead seriously.

vernon: goes way too hard on his “cool guy” vibes. constantly pulling his hat down low, trying to act all mysterious, but he’s accidentally walked into the wrong bathroom twice just trying to “look chill” or, walking in the room with his backpack wide open (we have proofs). he does this squinting thing like he’s in a music video, but it’s just… nope.

chan: calls himself “alpha.” no, seriously, he’ll be like, “as the alpha, i need to handle this.” and he’s referring to something like taking out the trash. leaving you jaw dropped, wondering why he’s talking like a lost wolf.

[honeyedmiller]

Real Love, Baby | Joel Miller

pairing: husband!joel miller x wife!reader

rating: none

warnings: no outbreak, lots of fluff, and some good ol’ joel miller lovin’ and a few kisses. no use of y/n.

word count: 904

synopsis: joel has a bad day at work, but seeing you dancing in the kitchen makes it all better.

a/n: based on the song real love baby by father john misty

divider by @saradika-graphics

Joel deeply sighed as he parked his truck in the driveway. He closed his eyes for a few beats, pinching the bridge of his nose as his bad mood kept festering in his chest, daring to settle into his aching bones. 

He had a terrible day at work. Though, terrible doesn’t even do the day justice. He knew you were going to ask about his day, which was routine now, but he truly didn’t want to talk about his day from hell. 

He knew seeing you and Sarah would make it all better, though. 

He groaned as he hopped out his truck, stretching his sore limbs before grabbing his toolbox and heading for the door. 

When he opened it, the aroma of dinner flooded his senses and a song playing mid-level from the vinyl player wafted from the kitchen. He set his tools down by the front door, toeing off his work boots before making his way to the kitchen. 

He paused when he saw you, totally enamored as you swayed your hips and sang along to the song. 

“I’m in love, I’m alive, I belong to the stars in the sky,” You sing unashamedly, never noticing the watchful eye of your husband. You stir the pot of what seemed to be noodles a few times before checking on the sauce cooking next to it, humming to the song as you swayed your hips some more. 

The horrible day Joel’s had rolls off of the weight of his chest and shoulders, dissipating into thin air as he leans on the wall, crossing his arms. A smile curls onto his lips, replacing the frown that’d seemed indefinite the whole day. 

His heart bloomed with warmth as you twirled, eyes closed, before focusing on dinner again. You opened the oven to take out the Texas toast, and Joel quietly hummed to himself as he realized what you made for dinner. 

“I want real love baby, oh don’t leave me waiting, I’ve got real love maybe, wait until you taste me,” You sang again, and he pushed himself off of the wall to make his way toward you, finally making his presence known. 

His hands settled on your hips and you gasped, laughing as you set a hand over your rapidly beating heart. 

“Scared me, baby.” You huff, smiling at the handsome man as you spun around in his grip. 

“Don’t stop dancin’ n’ singin’ now just cus I’m here, honey.” He teases, pressing a kiss to your lips as he starts swaying you to the song. You fold your hands behind his neck, leaning into him with a grin on your lips. 

“How much did you see and hear?” You quirk your brow, moving one hand down to rest over his strong heartbeat in his warm chest. 

“Just about enough to fall in love with you even more, darlin’.” He winks, and you playfully roll your eyes. 

“Such a sweet talker you are, Miller.” 

“What can I say? I’m crazy for my wife.” He grins before pressing his lips to yours, longer this time, before humming against your lips. 

“Where’s Sarah?” He asks, rubbing small circles into your hips with his thumbs. 

“Doing homework upstairs.” 

“Mm. Dinner smells delicious.” Joel says, jutting his chin toward the pots on the stove that sat alongside the sheet of Texas toast. 

“Thanks baby. Sarah and I decided on chicken alfredo. Hope you don’t mind.” You say, lightly scratching the back of Joel’s neck with your fingertips. 

“Not at all, baby.” He tosses you a saccharine smile, resting his forehead against yours. 

Your heart fluttered in your chest, always cherishing these intimate moments with Joel. Your love for him only grew by the day, always telling yourself how lucky you are you found a man like him.

He was your best friend, your life partner, your soulmate. You didn’t believe in any of that stuff before you met him, and now, you’re two years married and you still feel like you’re in the honeymoon stage. 

“How was your day, baby?” You ask, retracting your forehead from his in the slightest so you could kiss the tip of his nose. 

A groan rumbles in his sturdy chest and his eyebrows pinch together. 

“Rather not talk about it, darlin’. Wanna dance with you instead.” He separates himself from you, grabbing hold of your hands as they slip off his body. He sways you back and forth before twirling you into his chest so your back against his front, rocking you side to side before planting a kiss to your cheek. 

He twirls you again, and he can’t help but melt at your laugh and the way you look right now. So carefree, so full of love, so beautiful. 

He grins as he pulls you to his chest gently, dipping your body down in his arms. He holds you there as the song comes to an end, those beautiful brown eyes of his boring into yours. You can’t help the lovestruck look that crosses your face. 

He’ll never get tired of seeing that look. 

He leans down to kiss you once more. It lasts more than a few seconds as his free hand that isn’t holding your body up cups your cheek, calloused thumb gently swiping over your soft skin. 

“Oh– jeez,” Sarah’s voice startles you both, pulling apart from each other with a huff of a laugh. 

“Get a room, you two!” 

tags: @party-hearses ; @ilovepedro ; @punkshort ; @joelsgreys ; @nostalxgic ; @tinygarbage ; @bastardmandennis ; @pamasaur ; @cool-iguana ; @pascalpvnk

[pshbites]

LOVE ON AiR 2. YAP CENTRAL EP.135: alpha male podcasts?!

WARNiNGS » pop culture references, profanity, errrm cant rlly think of anything else

3.6k words (IMSORRY), also it may be a bit confusing but its kind of written like an audio transcript! not all written parts will be like this only the podcast episodes! also this is NOT proofread so pls excuse any typos or grammar mistakes 😞😞

episode desc -  enjoy your stay today in yap central :D ! in todays episode we started off with a deep question about love and relationships and gave our inputs on that. after allll those deep talks we did a good ole blind ranking forms of ‘first dates’. following that up we mention alpha male podcasts and why they should be indefinitely wiped off the face of the earth. to wrap things up we discuss proper aux etiquette *COUGH* kat *COOUGHHH*. hope you had fun with us today and come back to visit yap central! 

*the set up is a big living room, there’s two couches, mics propped up. the room has a very calming aura, there’s fairy lights and blankets on the couches. as well as plushies and throw pillows. on the couch to the left, kat, riki, and you are seated, adjusting your seating positions to be comfortable. on the couch to the right, jungwon, giselle, and sunoo are seated. jungwon sits back down after standing and gets comfortable*

jungwon: okay the camera is on now 

sunoo: kat i can’t take your costume seriously 

*all laugh in unison, riki is pointing at her, laughing and even after everyone is done he still can’t stop.* 

yn: for audio listeners we’re dressed as mario kart characters and kat is.. 

kat: YOSHI *in yoshi voice* 

riki: *still laughing* it’s the tail man 

giselle: this might be the best theme we’ve had so far 

sunoo: no no the one where we switched clothes was funny 

*girls laugh at the memory, jungwon groans and rolls his eyes* 

jungwon: okay no the girls chose bad clothes on purpose that day 

riki: i think we were set up 

yn: i lost a beloved crop top that day 

jungwon: it was way too tight around my arms! 

giselle: that’s surprising considering you have noodle arms 

riki: false *makes buzzer sound with mouth* he actually has been going to the gym more often 

kat: what improvement won *claps* 

sunoo: oh my god did i tell you guys about the comments on my skin care video with jungwon 

yn: no? the one where you opened the PR package right?

kat: wait can you give me some of those? 

giselle: yeah same 

sunoo: of course, thank you dr jart by the way for the package! *he looks to the camera, giving a peace sign* 

jungwon: what the hell were the comments?

sunoo: no yeah basically some of them were like oh how cute, or just about the skincare then the others were saying me and jungwon were a cute couple. 

*riki moves the mic away to laugh at sunoo, you and jungwon gasp.* 

kat: honestly i was expecting ship edits of me and yn 

yn: SAME! 

giselle: that’s so cute you guys are official!

*riki continues to laugh while jungwon glares at giselle, then looks to the camera* 

jungwon: me and sunoo aren’t dating hate to break it to you all

sunoo: you aren’t even my type calm down 

riki: rejected in front of the whole world how do you feel jungwon? 

jungwon: anyways beep- 

giselle: wait before we sign in can we get a water break 

yn: yeah i have to go to the bathroom

jungwon: i literally told you guys to go before 

yn: would you want me to piss on your carpet 

giselle: how would twitter feel knowing you let your editor go thirsty

jungwon: *sighs* go hurry up 

*you and giselle walk out of the room, talking but mics cannot pick it up* 

kat: did you guys see the whole brooke schofield and clinton kane thing? 

sunoo: oh my god yeah.. that shit is crazy 

riki: what happened 

sunoo & kat: basically- oh no you go first 

jungwon: one of you say it 

*kat looks to sunoo, nodding for him to speak* 

sunoo: basically brooke, the co host on cancelled, dated this singer named clinton kane and he full blown LIED about every aspect of their relationship like he said his whole family died but they didn’t and he faked having an australian accent. 

riki: rip you can’t make your mom jokes

jungwon: *laughs* no but there’s no way 

kat: no yeah and she made like a tiktok series kind of exposing him and they’re just going back to back. 

riki: what does this dude look like 

sunoo: *snorts* look him up on tiktok. clinton kane 

*both riki and jungwon get out their phones, typing away. the two of them look at their phones then each other. jungwon and riki start laughing* 

kat: i know! like how did she date him *laughs* 

jungwon: brooke dated HIM? 

sunoo: YES! that’s what i’m saying 

jungwon: look at his teeth he probably has gingivitis 

kat: ugh his breath probably stinks all the time 

*you and giselle come back into the room, confused at the conversation at hand and taking your seats. riki stares at his phone confused then looks to everyone else* 

riki: wait he’s not a ginger 

yn: what? 

riki: his hair is brown idiot 

jungwon: wait what are you talking about 

sunoo: riki are you on the right account stupid 

riki: i literally am. you said he has gingivitis, he’s literally not ginger 

*giselle gasps and starts laughing, causing the others to laugh. riki laughs nervously* 

riki: what

giselle: gingivitis means the tar on your teeth, not being a ginger 

sunoo: oh my god *wiping his tears away, still laughing* 

*riki groans, making everyone laugh, once collected jungwon clears his throat, sitting up* 

yn: thank god we came back to that 

giselle: i know

riki: okay guys that’s enough it’s not that funny

sunoo: oh it is. 

jungwon: alright, can we sign in now? 

*jungwon looks to everyone and they nod, each getting comfortable in their spot* 

jungwon: beep beep! you’ve arrived in yap central im your co host for today, mario. 

riki: and i am your second host, luigi

jungwon: starting from the far left we have 

kat: yoshi *in yoshi voice, waving to the camera* 

yn: princess daisy! *you show your crown, smiling.* 

giselle: princess peach! *she gives the camera a peace sign.* 

sunoo: and i’m toad *he giggles at his hat, the top of the toad.*

yn: i think out of everyone’s i love kats costume 

*kat laughs, pulling her yoshi onesie hood over her head. making the others laugh and smile at her.* 

jungwon: she’s so lucky she’s in a onesie me and riki have these stupid ass gloves 

riki: i don’t know man it’s kinda sick 

sunoo: *taking a sip of his water* is it not uncomfortable 

giselle: it’s giving mickey mouse 

riki: it’s giving your mom 

sunoo: guys riki discovered your mom jokes today 

kat: well your mom has ligma 

sunoo: the fuck is ligma 

yn & kat: LIGMA BALLS!!!! 

*everyone bursts out laughing at the immature joke. sunoo does not look amused yet still laughs along*

jungwon: it’s the way i saw it coming too 

riki: i saw your mom coming 

yn: pause?? 

sunoo: oh that’s not 

giselle: boyfriend! i’m nervous! 

*you, kat and giselle all giggle at her little reference* 

riki: wait no- 

jungwon: dude my mom watches this 

riki: i’m sorry miss yang i didn’t mean it 

jungwon: SHES MARRIED. 

riki: okay then what do i call a married woman?!? 

kat: mrs, not ms. 

riki: see was that so hard. *riki looks to the camera, interview style.* i’m sorry mrs yang i promise i will never say anything like that again 

jungwon: yeah she doesn’t watch the pod man, but thanks for apologizing to all the mrs yangs out there! 

*you and kat hold back your laughs as you look at riki. riki then rolls his eyes and jungwon earning a smile from him and opens his phone to the questions he has pulled up.* 

riki: everyone ready for the first question?

*they all nod, shifting in their seats a little to get adjusted. you sip from your water, giving your attention to riki and making sure the mic doesn’t pick it up.* 

riki: it’s kinda deep, is it easier to love or be loved. 

giselle: *gasps* that’s good one 

jungwon: it came from the patreon 

riki: since i asked the question let’s start on the other side, sunoo. 

sunoo: i think being loved has like a feeling you can’t  replace you know. 

yn: i agree, it’s like everything comes like full circle when you’re being loved by someone. it’s a really good feeling. 

sunoo: i do think though, to give love and to be loved has like its cons too. say if you were in a one sided relationship and you were giving love to someone who wouldn’t want it back, it hurts a lot. 

jungwon: it’s just draining on the person overall. 

kat: but i feel like if you were on the other side of that isn’t it equally as bad? you know if you were being loved by someone who you didn’t love back it’s just another issue because you feel like you owe them your love 

giselle: i agree with you, kat i do but i think it’s so much more tolling on the person giving love because it’s like you’re giving a part of yourself to someone else to cherish and hold. 

sunoo: wow that was poetic 

giselle: i know right? 

kat: yeah i get what you mean

giselle: giving your love is just so much deeper. sure to be loved is such a great feeling but giving your love isn’t just surface level, it’s like you actually love that person so much, and it’s so passionate too. 

riki: but that can be said for the other perspective too

giselle: you’re right 

yn: i honestly think being loved is something everyone gets to experience once in their lifetime, it’s not only limited to intimate relationships 

jungwon: ahh you have a point 

yn: you get to be loved by your parents, friends, anyone really who cares about you. it’s a good feeling and i think that almost everyone should have that kind of feeling in their lives. 

sunoo: what would you describe it as? 

yn: i think it’s different for every relationship. like for example being loved by my family is the thing that nothing can replace, it’s like a warm hug after a long storm. it’s familiar and it’s a feeling that i just think i would give the world to have all the time. 

riki: im the same way, even though i don’t live near my family anymore i miss them like crazy all the time. like my moms hugs. 

sunoo: ughhhh my moms hugs, im gonna drive by and hug her after this 

kat: are you gonna open the door and just give her a big fat hug and leave 

sunoo: you make me sound like a situationship who fucks you then leaves 

giselle: not our fault you worded it like that 

jungwon: i agree with you though yn. i do think that being loved just offers so much more than just intimate relationships. 

riki: i do too. but i see giselles point too. why did i have to pick the best question ever. *riki groans but smiles in the process, making kat slap his arm.* 

sunoo: you just wanted an ego boost. 

niki: perhaps. 

jungwon: i think that it’s a tie, both of them have their pros and cons 

kat: that’s a good way to end it 

sunoo: didn’t know it was a deep podcast today 

riki: sorry *laughs nervously* 

yn: no it’s okay i liked the question *you smile to riki, rubbing his shoulder* 

giselle: yeah same 

jungwon: well then you guys are gonna like this next segment. 

kat: wait let me guess would you rather?

jungwon: no

kat: scenarios?

jungwon: no kat-

kat: opinions on the [BLEEP]?!

*the group look to each other, then burst out laughing.*

giselle: fuck i’m gonna have to edit that out 

kat: what?

sunoo: we cant talk about the [BLEEP] thing remember. 

yn: yeah or else it’ll be our neck. according to [BLEEP] 

jungwon: guys stop bringing it up now we have to bleep all of that 

kat: sorry.. *she smiles nervously at jungwon and giselle and they both wave her off*

jungwon: what i was trying to say is that our next segment is blind ranking

sunoo: oh my god i love these

yn: same 

jungwon: topic is first dates 

riki: okay well i can’t participate i’ve never been on an actual date 

*sunoo moves his mic away to laugh at riki, riki stares at him to shut him up* 

jungwon: yeah that’s why i chose it for our episode dumbass. anyways there’s five of them so here’s the first one. a music festival  

kat: oh my god 3 duh 

yn: ehhhhh 5? 

kat: *gasp* what 

giselle: yeah im with yn 

sunoo: yeah 5 

kat: why that’s so fun 

yn: it’s too sweaty like i had to be super comfortable to even go to head in the clouds with riki and won

giselle: i feel like that’s cool to do if you’re already dating but first date? i don’t think so 

jungwon: majority rules sorry kat 

kat: yall are fake 

riki: okay next one is a classic, the movies 

sunoo: honestly 4 

giselle: maybe 3 i don’t know it’s very like highschool

yn: yeah i see what you mean. i think it’s just weird because what if you’re watching a popular movie and neither of you really like it. also you can’t really talk to get to know the person 

jungwon: personally this is a 5 for me 

kat: it’s so like.. middle school 

riki: doing that damn arm stretch. 

*everyone laughs at riki’s joke as he fake yawns to stretch his arms and put it around kat, making her laugh even harder.* 

jungwon: i was abusing that card in highschool 

yn: it’s so corny eww *laughs* 

kat: no it’s kinda smooth if someone can pull it off 

sunoo: i remember i did the counting shoulder thing in middle school 

yn: oh my god i remember that 

riki: i never heard of that one 

kat: like 1, 2 *she counts her own shoulders* and 3 *she puts her arm behind riki, him laughing as she did it* 

giselle: that’s a good one 

jungwon: so movie 4?

kat: yep movie 4. 

yn: this is so fun

jungwon: the next one is go karting 

sunoo: OOOOO

yn: might put this as a 1 

kat: okay but what if they choose a really really good one for the last one 

yn: ugh you’re right 

sunoo: im saying 2 

giselle: lowkey 3 

yn: noooo its so fun. like its playful and it’s not too much talking where it awkward. and then after that you can grab food and talk 

riki: that honestly sounds perfect 

kat: okay you’re convincing me 

sunoo: let’s stick with two because i know they’re gonna pick a good one 

giselle: okay yeah 2 

riki: next one is eating. like going out to eat 

yn: 3 it’s a safe choice 

giselle: yeah it’s safe 

sunoo: oh my god what’s the last one i’m excited 

jungwon: sitting at your number 1 spot is a date in the park 

kat: oh..

*you and sunoo side eye one another, and start laughing* 

riki: you guys fumbled 

giselle: ugh we should’ve put go kart at 1 

jungwon: i would’ve put go kart at 1 too

yn: okay park isn’t that bad 

sunoo: no it’s bad imagine all the bugs. and there isn’t a single cute park where we live 

kat: that’s definitely 5 

giselle: yeah i agree 

yn: what time are we at won? 

jungwon: about an hour. you guys ready for a break 

riki: yep, i’m gonna go grab water 

kat: yeah i have to use the bathroom

*riki and kat get up, moving their mics. they both walk out of the room. the rest of the group continues to scroll on their phones, checking notifications. giselle laughs and sets her phone down* 

giselle: did you guys see the top albums of all time? from apple music. 

jungwon: *snorts* yeah, yn what’d you think about the list 

yn: oh i loved it, i think there was too much classic rock on there but my girl lauryn hill sitting pretty at number 1 

sunoo: i love that album, like it’s so good 

jungwon: frank ocean was top 5 i think we’re getting an album 

*giselle laughs, shaking her head* 

giselle: i fear we won’t be getting one for a while. 

yn: no but imagine not knowing who lauryn hill is? 

*sunoo and jungwon side eye each other but stay quiet to let yn go on* 

yn: you must have some shit music taste if you don’t know lauryn hill is all i have to say 

sunoo: must be an alpha male 

*giselle, you and sunoo laugh. jungwon looks at sunoo, holding back a laugh* 

jungwon: cmon we weren’t gonna talk about it 

yn: speaking of alpha males let’s talk about alpha male podcasts. have we ever covered that? 

giselle: don’t think we have 

sunoo: it has to be rage bait 

jungwon: well no have you seen andrew tate, he was like so serious about it. 

yn: i think alpha male podcast are so stupid. like you must be so sensitive about your masculinity if you have to run a podcast all about it. 

*riki and kat enter the room, taking a seat* 

kat: what are we talking about? 

jungwon: lauryn hill and now alpha male podcasts

riki: i fucking love lauryn hill 

kat: alpha male podcast should be wiped off the face of the earth

giselle: and they invite like instagram models on there and like flame them for no reason 

jungwon: they are like the bane of this existence 

sunoo: honestly is it just me or like recently has there been an uprise in podcasts 

giselle: no i get what you mean 

yn: i think when all those like old youtubers started doing podcasts they became popular again. 

riki: everyone and their mom has podcast 

kat: dude we have a podcast 

riki: yeah.. we’re everyone and their mom keep up 

*you laugh next to him, shaking your head* 

jungwon: you guys ready for the last question 

giselle: mhm 

jungwon: so as surprising as it is we’ve never talked about aux etiquette on this podcast. what do you guys think proper aux etiquette is? 

giselle: i think proper aux etiquette is playing music that everyone listens to 

jungwon: yeah.. *jungwon glares at kat, making you and riki laugh. kat furrows her brows in confusion*

kat: um hello im an amazing dj 

sunoo: you’re in fact not 

yn: yeah babe 

kat: *scoffs* what! wait do you guys seriously not like my music? 

riki: well no it’s just whenever you’re on aux- 

jungwon: which is all the fucking time 

*you and sunoo laugh* 

riki: like i was saying whenever you’re on aux, you always try and get us on to the music you listen to and it’s just shitty house music like *starts imitating one of the songs* 

kat: you guys don’t appreciate taste 

jungwon: you mean noise? yeah we don’t 

*kat laughs* 

sunoo: hot take i really don’t want music when im hanging out with my friends 

yn: your worst take yet 

sunoo: okay what the fuck 

riki: i’m sorry but pitch silence? fuck i’d go crazy in a car with kat and yn 

yn: rude 

riki: you two talk soooo much 

kat: not our fault you’re a nonchalant emo 

jungwon: *laughing* fuck 

giselle: i agree with sunoo to an extent like it depends on what we’re doing. if we were going to a club or something i’d want to get hyped up but on the way back i would want to debrief 

sunoo: yeah i agree with that

riki: let’s rank us in terms of aux 

jungwon: kat is dead last 

kat: your music taste isn’t amazing i don’t know why you’re talking 

jungwon: least i can admit it 

sunoo: the girls are fighting.. 

yn: i think it goes kat in last, then sunoo 

sunoo: wait what 

yn: your music taste isn’t like versatile. no hate it’s just not great on aux 

sunoo: yeah well yours is shit too 

yn: don’t care *you stick your tongue out at him making him stick it out back, the two of you giggle*

giselle: i think first place is between riki and yn 

yn: my brother just another me 

*you and riki fist bump each other, giggling* 

jungwon: it’s gonna go to their big fat egos 

riki: frank ocean is never gonna release an album ever again 

jungwon: take that back 

riki: your mom 

kat: as much as i hate to say it jungwon might be second. it’s tied between you and giselle 

sunoo: so we agree that kat should never get aux 

giselle: she’s always fucking arguing for it too 

*the group laughs* 

yn: like damn if you’re gonna fight for aux atleast put on music we all like 

kat: ugh fine i will next time 

riki: next time im getting aux 

jungwon: we’re gonna hear emo music the whole ride 

riki: to be emo is to be free 

giselle: rikilations

sunoo: what time are we at? 

jungwon: an hour thirty ish. should we end it? 

kat: i mean did you guys have any other questions 

riki: nah i didnt, did you? *he looks to jungwon* 

jungwon: nope 

giselle: okay sign us out then 

riki: thank you for staying with us today at yap central we hope you enjoyed your stay. 

jungwon: remember to subscribe, like, comment, and share this video. check out our bio for resources and sign up for patreon. peace! 

previous masterlist next

AUTHORS NOTE » i had SOO much fun writing this, like it felt like i was actually sitting there with them. the bleeps aren't too hard to guess bc its pretty obvious. i wanted to include them so it felt more real and i hope this wasnt TOO confusing

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[quitealotofsodapop]

Oh imagine Iron Fan meeting the triplets-

She didn't really believe her husband or her son when they told her that Wukong had three babies because she really can't believe Wukong wouldn't figure out that donating dao= actual babies.

Then the family is released from the scroll of memory by a very concerned Xiaotian and Xiaojiao, Wukong, and three small babies. Thunder, the shyest one, reaches out first to meet his aunt.

Iron Fan hadn't been around during New Years to meet the triplets like her boys had. When her husband rushed home (son in tow) and told her that Sun Wukong had three very young cubs, PIF was intrigued.

Her first question was obvious: Whom was responsible?

DBK, trying not to laugh: "You would not believe me if I told you." PIF, smirking as she sips tea: "I am rarely surprised." DBK: "The Macaque." PIF, teacup rattles slightly: "...I will admit, that is surprising. But I thought Macaque had long since past?" DBK: "It appears that our late brother left behind three pieces of his soul on Flower Fruit Mountain to guard his effects. After his passing, Brother Wukong could not bear parting with the shadows of his mate - and began pouring his own life energy into them." PIF, understanding: "Ah. Supplying the Yang to the Yin. No wonder. I would have done the same if you had left shadows of your own." DBK, chuckling: "He certainly hadn't known that when they formed!" PIF, suppressing a laugh: "Pardon?!"

Red Son supplies photographic proof (shared by Mei) of the shadowy monkey cubs playing with Noodle Boy on the airship, and reuniting with their "Mother" Sun Wukong once freed. Little dark fluffy things with red markings on their faces, and gleaming red-orange eyes.

PIF: "That one in his arms... they are smaller than their siblings." DBK: "Wukong explained that he had not known of the third shadow until the elder two had fully formed. It was still too underdeveloped to separate from him when he had been captured." PIF, sympathetic: "Oh, poor dear... I hope you scolded him for putting himself and his baby in danger!" DBK: "You know I did. Although I had been distracted at the time - the littlest one had chosen that moment to finally break away from his parent and exist in this plane!" PIF, adoring: "Aww."

Having birthed a child with special needs herself, Iron Fan feels a kinship with the smallest of Wukong' children.

She doesn't manage to meet them until her release from the Scroll in S4. The Macaque had apparently been revived, and even under threat of his new master, had ensured his cubs and mate were kept safely together.

(*the Demon Bull Family are released from their Scrolls*) DBK, shuddering: "I did not care for those 500 years under that mountain. But at least I relived falling in love with you all over again." PIF, light blush: "My hopeless romantic." MK, sighs with relief: "Whew! Glad we didn't have to drag you guys out of a memory or anything." Mei, hugging Red Son: "Well except for ol' Red Boy here. He was so cute as a baby!" Red Son, embarrassed: "I was running around naked, setting the countryside ablaze!" DBK & PIF: (*"Aww" as they remember*) Mei: "Case in point; totes adorbs." Red Son: (*grumbling*) Wukong, holding a cub: "I'm just glad all of you are okay. Azure did not make it easy for us." Macaque, carrying the other two cubs: "Especially since the cubs tried to join in the fight." (*baby-talking to the cubs*) "Yes you did! You tried biting Peng's tail feathers off. Yes you did! You wanted to be like your Baba and fight the mean birdie!" Rumble & Savage: (*happily babbling chirps!*) PIF & DBK: (*looks at the scene with a mixture of adoring and sadness*) Thunder: (*silently hops out of Wukong's arms and toddles towards the Princess*) Thunder, holding up arms: "AH!" PIF, stunned: "...pardon?" Wukong, knowing smile: "He means Up. Thunder has been exercising getting farther away from me. He wants you to pick him up so he can properly say Hi." PIF: (*looking down at the cub, she silently lifts him into her arms. The tiny hands reaching up to inspect her horned hairstyle ala Maleficent 2014*) Thunder, amazed: "Ah!" PIF, smile slowly forming: "Hello little one. I've heard much about you." Thunder: (*sniffing her face and nuzzling against her cheek, making happy chirping sounds*) PIF: (*silent tears forming. She would fight Heaven for this baby*)

She about to ask Bull to try for another baby, cus gotdamn Wukong and Macaque's brood make her want at least three more.

[squidsquidsquidsquidsquidgame]

Late night snack run

Character: season 1 gi hun x fem!reader

Summary: Gi hun wakes you up in the middle of the night to go on a good ol' snack adventure🦑🦑

Warnings: none

A soft nudge against your shoulder pulled you out of sleep. You grumbled, shifting to the side, but the nudge turned into a full shake.

"Hey," a familiar voice whispered. "Wake up."

You cracked one eye open to see Gi-hun crouched beside the bed, his messy hair sticking up in all directions. He had that boyish grin on his face, the one he always wore when he was up to something.

"What?" you mumbled.

"I'm hungry."

You sighed. "Then eat something."

"There's nothing good in the fridge," he whined, dramatically flopping onto the mattress. "Come on, let’s go to the convenience store. It'll be fun."

"It's the middle of the night, Gi-hun."

"Exactly! That makes it an adventure." He gave you his best pleading look, eyes wide, lips slightly pouted. You knew you were doomed.

With a groan, you sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. "You owe me for this."

"Of course, of course," he said, already grabbing your jacket and handing it to you. "I'll buy you anything you want. Even those expensive chocolate bars you like."

"You mean the ones that cost, like, 1,500 won?"

"Hey, on my budget, that’s expensive," he teased, helping you into your jacket.

_______________________________________

The streets were quiet, except for the occasional rustling of leaves in the cool night breeze. The glow of the streetlights cast long shadows as you walked side by side, Gi-hun occasionally kicking a stray pebble down the pavement.

"You know," he mused, stuffing his hands into his pockets, "late-night snacks always taste better. It’s a scientific fact."

You raised a brow. "Oh yeah? Which scientist said that?"

He paused. "Uh… Dr. Gi-hun. Ever heard of him?"

You laughed, lightly nudging his arm. "Sounds like a scam artist to me."

"Hey! I’ll have you know Dr. Gi-hun has done extensive research in the field of midnight cravings."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. Years of experience. Peer-reviewed by fellow snack lovers."

You rolled your eyes, but your smile lingered as the two of you approached the tiny convenience store at the corner of the street.

Inside, the fluorescent lights buzzed faintly as you wandered the aisles. Gi-hun immediately made a beeline for the instant noodles, grabbing two different flavors and holding them up.

"Which one?" he asked.

"Spicy," you said without hesitation.

"Good choice. A true connoisseur."

You shook your head, grabbing a couple of drinks while he piled the basket with snacks—some chips, a pack of gummies, and, of course, the overpriced chocolate bar he promised you.

At the counter, the elderly cashier barely glanced up, used to late-night customers like you. Gi-hun chatted with her as she rang up the items, effortlessly slipping into easy conversation like he always did.

Outside, you sat on the curb, warm instant noodles in hand. Steam curled into the chilly air as you both slurped the noodles straight from the cup.

"This is the best meal I’ve ever had," Gi-hun declared dramatically.

"You said that about the kimbap we had last week."

"And I meant it at the time."

You chuckled, shaking your head. The night was peaceful, the kind of quiet that made the world feel smaller, like it was just the two of you in your own little pocket of time.

As Gi-hun tilted his noodle cup to drink the last of the broth, he sighed contentedly. "See? Aren’t you glad I woke you up for this?"

You looked at him, his hair still messy, eyes bright despite the late hour. He looked happy, truly happy, and that made it worth it.

"Yeah," you admitted. "I guess I am."

He grinned, nudging your shoulder. "Told you. Midnight snack science never lies."

You rolled your eyes, but you leaned into him anyway, letting the quiet comfort of the moment settle around you.

🦑🦑🦑

[inkievoid]

Imagine pregnancy cares with Leon…🥹🥹

You’re hungry? He’s running to the store at 3:00 AM to make you some spicy noodles with a side of pickles. Your feet are swollen? Put your legs up on his lap and let him massage those feet! The baby won’t stop kicking your ribs? Well they’ll get a stern talking to! >:(

I feel like Leon would definitely not let you do one single thing around this house, hell, you couldn’t even get up to grab a glass of water anymore. He’d carry you around the house like a little princess, setting you down in bed and tucking you in, kissing you goodnight like you were a little kid. Talking to your belly in the middle of the night, telling it random and silly stories, acting like your baby knew what the hell he was talking about.

Don’t even get me started on your bump, he’d looooovvvveeeee that big ol’ belly of yours. When you wore those pretty flowy sundresses because you refused to wear pants during the last month or so of your pregnancy, how those dresses would show your bump (and your melons, wink wink👀) off were definitely the best parts. You were the prettiest thing in the world to him, even more now that you were carrying his child.

If only I could give him that cute domestic life he deserves…

- Anon! 🎀

Oh my God, I love domestic Leon so much... He deserves that typical white picket fence life.

So there's conflicting resources online so I'm just gonna make an assumption here. July-December is when most babies are born. So far the same of a time line we'll say you're due in September.

So it's like the dead ass middle of July. Hot as balls and it's 3am. You want spicy noodles and pickles. (You're usually craving) But when you go to the kitchen they're both gone. You just grab an otter pop from the freezer, and head back to bed. The bed dips under your weight as you sit, adjusting your pillows before you lay back. The window AC is at that perfect angle where it's hitting you enough to make you chilly as you curl up with your snack and blanket.

Leon rolls over in his sleep, putting his arm around you and pulls himself closer to you with a groan. Lifting his head without opening his eyes, you know what he wants. Leaning down you give him a kiss. He sinks back into his pillow, tongue jutting out to wet his lips.

"Why... Do I taste cherry?" He opens his eyes, looking up to see you already drinking the juice from the clear package.

"No noodles? No pickles?" He questions, turning on his back as he takes in a sharp yawn. Rubbing away the sleepy gunk from his eyes.

"We're out." He turns his head, watching you look at the empty wrapper in disappointment. He sits up without a second thought, still groggy as he grabs his wallet off the nightstand giving you another kiss before he stands up. Slinking out the door in his pajamas.

30 minutes he comes back with fresh made spicy beef noodles from your favorite late night Korean dinner and a jar of pickles the size of a baby. An you bet you scarf those things down while he watches you like your his whole world. This goofy smile on his face while you slurp up glass noodles and glance at him.

"Wuh?" You say through chews. He chuckles, shaking his head.

"Nothing babe, just eat your noodles." He moves in getting comfortable. Rubbing your lower back and belly at the same time while talking to the baby until he eventually falls back asleep with his head on your thigh.

SUN DRESSES WITH A BABY BUMP WOULD MAKE THIS MAN GO FERAL! There's this thing about pregnant women that men find attractive because their instinct is to detect fertility and protect. Which is insane as is...

But when it's your own partner? Oh boy.

He thought you were beautiful in sundresses before but now it's just heightened!

It's getting harder to bend and pull things up with an entire human being inside of you so you resort to the old reliable method. Dresses. Everyday.

You wobble out of the bedroom with your flip flops. Dropping them on the floor you slide them on. Ready for a day at the beach together before the baby comes. The dress is a shade of blue, slightly low cut but really showing off the girls with how much you've blown up during pregnancy.

Leon's outside fighting with the chairs trying to get them in the back of the car and fit the cooler at the same time. Already breaking a sweat and they haven't even left the driveway yet. You walk out, watching him fight for his life against these chairs and finally he gets the trunk to shut and he sees you. The first thought that crosses his mind was:

oh shit... She looks that good? Do we have to leave the house?

Followed by: That's mine, she's mine. Carrying my baby inside her... And looks that sexy doing it. Maybe we should have another kid right away after the first one...

His brains going in overdrive before you tell him you're getting in the car. He quickly comes around, helping you buckle yourself in and shuts your door for you.

The entire day it's hard for him to not be constantly touching you. He usually just guides you by a hand on your back but he's got you pulled close, a hand on your thigh, giving you kisses more frequently. Even going for an ass grab or two without caring if anyone is looking.

And you bet your ass the second you two get home you're getting a shower together. Just to make sure you get all the sand off of course (👀)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hello, sex witch! This isn't an ask so much as a story some of your nervous-about-sex-stuff anons might find comforting.

Shortly after I started having sex with my then-boyfriend (now fiance), I got a little too ambitious while giving him a blowjob and threw up noodles on his dick. That's like, in the top three worst-case scenarios for a blowjob, right? Before it happened, I thought I'd just die of humiliation if it ever did. But then it happened. And it wasn't the end of the world at all.

Sure, it was embarrassing, but it was also funny. Just a ridiculous situation to find oneself in. I started to laugh, he started to laugh, and then we cleaned up, changed the sheets, and went to bed, still laughing about it. We joke about "the noodle incident" to this day.

Sometimes our bodies do gross things, or embarrassing things, or things we just didn't expect. And the world keeps on turning. Sometimes, those things even become in-jokes and fond memories.

And anyone who's a dick about it when those things inevitably happen doesn't deserve sex anyway.

this is soooooo funny and you are god's bravest soldier, thank you for sharing

editor's note: nobody else take this as an invitation to send in your funny sex stories, my inbox is too full and I don't want them. I only want to hear from ol' noodledick.