#my music library isn't that big though

[supercantaloupe]

getting a migraine today of all days was so evil

[harmonicakai]

Like Real People Do

Pairing: Gyuvin x Reader

Summary: You find yourself falling for the cute boy whose writing assignments you proofread, and discover that your lives have been intertwined for longer than you thought.

Tropes: tutor!reader, basketball player!gyuvin, writers, soulmates, college AU, fluff

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: literally none it’s so cute

A/N: This is a formal apology for my Beomgyu angst <3

“And isn't it just so pretty to think All along there was some Invisible string Tying you to me?” —Invisible String, Taylor Swift

Gyuvin certainly doesn’t need any help with English, but it gives him a good excuse to spend time in between classes and basketball practice staring at you.

If anything, your talents would be better suited to helping one of his classmates understand all the old poems or crazy novels that they get assigned, but he’s the one who lucked out when your former professor suggested you read her most promising student’s work.

From the first draft, you were hooked, and had somehow started a writer’s circle where just the two of you meet weekly to share your works in progress. 

In no time, you’ve helped Gyuvin become one of the top students in Writing 101, and he’s worried you’ll notice that he’d be just fine if you stopped helping him. Still, the A’s keep rolling in and you keep meeting up with him anyway.

When Gyuvin’s latest short story gets nominated for a departmental prize, you’re over the moon for him.

“You are so amazing,” you smile up at him. “We should celebrate! That’s a really big deal. I was nominated last year, but didn’t come close to winning.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” he points out, looking down at the ground and rubbing the back of his neck. “Really, Y/N. If I win, it would be just as much your prize as it would be mine.”

“Don’t be silly,” you say, packing up the rest of your lunch. You usually only see him in the library at your designated meeting time, but today, he sought you out in the courtyard to make sure you were the first person he told. “I’m just the editor. All of the ideas came from you. Plus, I’m only good at English because I grew up speaking it. It’s much more impressive for you to have learned it recently and write at the level that you do.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Y/N,” he replies, helping you up off your picnic blanket. Before you can do it yourself, he’s already reaching down to fold it, his long arms handling the fabric with ease. “You’d write circles around me any day.”

“I don’t want to get into another compliment war,” you giggle, swinging your backpack over your shoulder. Recently, it’s been filled with way too many books, and your classes are so jam-packed that you never have time to run back to your room in between them.

“Here, Y/N, let me,” he says, taking your backpack from you. He’s already got his own on, but he wears yours over his front, barely even flinching at the extra weight. “Where are you headed next? I’m done with my classes for the day, so I can walk you.”

He’s always been desperate to ask you to hang out outside of your brainstorming sessions, but every time he thinks he’s worked up the courage, you’ll laugh or smile or even just glance at him and his brain short circuits.

“I have a music class across campus in thirty minutes,” you reply. “Don’t you live the other way, though? You really don’t have to walk me. It’s pretty far.”

“I want to,” Gyuvin reassures you. He offers his hand. “Here. I walk pretty fast, so let’s make sure I don’t leave you behind.”

You hesitate for a moment before taking it. You’ve had a crush on Gyuvin ever since the two of you first crossed paths—he’s the literal embodiment of sunshine trapped inside a cute boy—but things have only ever been friendly between the two of you.

His hand is big, wrapping itself around yours almost entirely. The walk is silent, although you swear you can hear your heart about to beat out of your chest as you pull him along your usual route. Gyuvin makes sure to always let you lead.

“You know,” you start, still not looking back at him. “We’re kind of like Orpheus and Eurydice right now.”

Gyuvin lights up at the reference, with mythology being one of the first things you two really bonded over. “If you looked back at me, the only thing I’d probably die of is how cute you are, Y/N.”

You’re glad you’re turned away so he can’t see the bright blush that’s spread across your cheeks. His words get you so flustered that you don’t even notice you’ve stopped walking.

“Did I say something wrong?” Gyuvin asks, his voice laced with concern. He moves to face you, your height difference causing him to crane his neck down. Meanwhile, your gaze is locked on your shoes.

“Gyuvin,” you say, still refusing to meet his eye. You pull him over to a nearby bench. “Remember when I said I liked the love story you wrote the other day?”

“Yeah, I remember,” he confirms. “You complimented me on how realistic it was and I told you it was only because I based it off of real life.”

“Was it…” your words catch in your throat, unable to face the embarrassment of if you’re wrong. “Was it about us?”

“Yes,” he admits almost immediately. You finally turn to face him, greeted by a nervous look. “Listen, Y/N. I only wrote it because I knew you’d read it, and I thought maybe if you saw how good characters that were a lot like us could be together, you’d give me a chance in real life. But you didn’t really notice, or maybe you just wanted to ignore it, so I kind of abandoned all hope of us ever being together.”

You blink back at him. How could you be so oblivious? Your entire major was based on analyzing words, and you couldn’t even see that he wanted to be with you so badly that he had to write it into existence.

Words always come easy to you, except at this very moment.

“You abandoned all hope?” is all you can manage to get out. You try to pull your hand away, but he only grips it tighter.

“I tried,” Gyuvin says, his voice soft. “But you’re all I ever think about. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever be capable of writing someone who even comes close to how wonderful I think you are, Y/N. There just aren’t words to describe all the ways in which you’re special to me.”

You laugh, his words making tears well up in your eyes. “You know, I used to go to basketball games a lot before we even met, just so I wouldn’t have to feel so lonely all the time. And I remember liking your smile and the way you always encouraged your teammates. I would go home and wish I had someone like you in my life.”

“You’re kidding,” he says, taking out his wallet. You knit your brows in confusion, watching as he pulls out a small piece of paper and unfolds it. “Here.”

He hands it to you and your eyes widen at the words printed out. It’s the poem that you had published in the school’s literary magazine last spring about wanting to romanticize your life. Talking about your feelings makes you anxious, but nobody reads those publications. Except for Gyuvin, apparently.

“I liked you before we even met, too,” Gyuvin confesses. “Your poem is actually the reason I got into writing in the first place. I used to read it before all of my games, but I know all the words by heart now, so I just keep it in my wallet for good luck.”

This all feels too good to be true, but his touch keeps you grounded in reality.

“Maybe I should start coming to basketball games again, then,” you think out loud. “I stopped going because I felt awkward not knowing anybody.”

“Well, now you’d know me, and I’ll make sure the whole team gets to know you, too, okay?” The way he smiles at you, his eyes so full of light, takes your breath away.

“Really?” you ask, looking at him in disbelief. The thought of meeting so many new people at the same time scares you, but if Gyuvin likes them, you’re sure you will too.

“On one condition,” he says, closing the gap between the two of you. He tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his hand settling on your cheek. “I get to introduce you as my girlfriend.”

“Deal,” you grin, inching closer until your lips are pressed against his. You’re nervous that he’ll somehow figure out that you’ve only ever read about kissing in books, but the way he melts into you tells you that he doesn’t mind.

“You’re going to be late for class,” Gyuvin reminds you, pulling away. He desperately wants to keep going, but not at the expense of your grades.

“Class can wait,” you say, leaning in for another kiss. Your fingers lace themselves through his soft, messy hair. “I said we’d celebrate your nomination, so let’s celebrate.”

[maxislvt]

Sink Your Teeth In

pairing(s): vampire!natasha romanoff x werewolf!reader

summary: Vampires and werewolves were known enemies, but Natasha is more than willing to change that. Even if it's just for one night.

warning: amab!reader, blowjobs, sub!reader, slight dubcon

a/n: ummm nat gives the best head case closed

Event Masterlist

Werewolves and vampires were always at odds with each other. Not a thousand years could go by without vampires attacking werewolves or werewolves attacking vampires. It was all the same bloodline ending bullshit. 'Your father killed mine and now I must kill you!' over and over again. Some of those fathers weren't even worth killing anyone over. It was truly a shame that no one could see how compatible the two factions were. Vampires were strict, organized people that valued loyalty above all else. Werewolves were nothing short of loyal and obedient, you just had to train them. Natasha was so close to finding the perfect werewolf for her to prove that. 

Natasha had tried many times to tame a werewolf, but she'd run into a number of problems. They could be taught, but not many of them were willing to learn— especially not from a vampire. As disappointing as it was, it wasn't exactly a shock. A millennium long feuds were rarely ever one sided. Her previous attempts were also foiled by pride, shame, and simply being too boring to have any real fun.

So, Natasha spent another Friday night on the prowl.

Club Sonar was a rather interesting place. A tall building in the middle of nowhere buzzing with all forms of life. Monsters from all over the globe came together under the moon just to party. It was a messy place. The music was loud, bodies grinded against each other without a care, and secrets of all kinds were shared over the strongest alcohol. Though cultures mixed, money did not. 

Each floor of the bar was more expensive than the last. The alcohol got smoother, the music got slower, and the floors actually got cleaned. Upper floors were for people who supported the cause but had no interest in getting dirty. Natasha had more than enough money to sit at the top floor, but that wasn't any fun. She'd never find what she was looking for if she stayed up there. 

Werewolves were just as wealthy as vampires, but they were rowdy. They liked to play rough and get dirty. Big fancy houses just didn't appeal to them as much. Fancy clubs appealed to them even less. Natasha wasn't looking to tame someone — not to say her hand couldn't be forced — she was looking for someone soft and easy to mold. 

You weren't the easiest to find. Despite your size, the people on the dancefloor had no trouble pushing you around. You kept your head down no matter where you went. Natasha could tell you weren't there on your own, which made it harder to take you home. Not too hard though.

"This really isn't your scene," she said when she took the bar stool next to you. It was hard to keep her eyes in the right place. Your shyness was adorable, but there was no denying what she was really feeling. 

You looked around to make sure she was actually talking to you.  Though you weren't opposed to the conversation, it was hard to believe such a pretty woman had approached you. "Um, no. My friends wanted to come here. I mean it's cool just…couldn't we have a library or something? There's no point in intermingling if you're too drunk to remember what you're kissing."

Natasha laughed and scooted closer to you. "I guess you're right, but there's no shame in being curious. Right?" She looked at the glass in front of you. "Oh, that just won't do." Before you could interject, she tapped the countertop twice and brought over the bartender. It was a quick exchange, you didn't even see Natasha pull out any cash. Despite your confusion, you didn't put up a fight. You were exactly what Natasha was looking for. 

Guilt filled your eyes when you looked down at the fresh cocktail in front of you. Was it more rude to let it go to waste or ask the bartender for a refund? "Oh, you really didn't have to do that." Your hands hesitantly wrapped around the glass before taking a sip of the alcohol. The burn hit you immediately, but you tried to play it off. You tensed up to hold in the coughing fit building up in your chest. "It's…great, thanks," you forced out through a tight chest. 

Natasha gave you a firm pat on the back to force you to cough. She took away the glass and slid this towards you. "I would expect a werewolf to have a stronger alcohol tolerance," she said teasingly. Her hand stayed on your back even after your coughing had subsided. 

You shook your head. "A lot of us have sensitive pallets. I can taste whatever crappy oak barrel they made this in." There was an unexpected comfort in the way she touched you. "I should have asked this earlier, but what's your name?" You sat up straight as her hand moved down your back. You never really paid attention to your posture, but you had the strange urge to be better around her. 

"My name's Natasha, but you can call me Nat if you want. What's yours?"

"My name is Y/N. I don't really have a nickname, but whatever you come up with is fine." 

The conversation continued without trouble. Natasha seemed so enamored with how strong your pallet was. At the expense of Natasha's wallet and your sobriety, you had tasted just about every drink the bar had to offer. Eventually, you settled on just drinking strawberry daiquiris while you two talked. 

Natasha pulled your seat closer to her and she leaned down to whisper in your ear. "So how many more of those little smoothies do I have to buy to take you home with me?" Her hand slid up your thigh and gave it a firm squeeze. She could feel your dick twitching already. "I promise I'll only bite where it feels good."

You practically jumped out of your skin when Natasha kissed your neck. It was quick, but you could feel the pointed tips of her fangs brush against your skin. "Um..Can I finish this one first?" Before Natasha could say anything else you pulled out your phone and texted your friends. 'Leaving with a hot lady, ttyl!' was all you sent before cutting off your phone and downing the last of your drink. 

Natasha adored your enthusiasm. "I promise I'll get you home safe in the morning." She kissed your neck one last time before dragging you outside to her car. It was a good thing she brought her chauffeur along because there was no way she'd be able to keep her hands off you the entire ride home. 

You stumbled behind Natasha as best you could. Vampires were usually weaker than werewolves, but you were a little too tipsy to show your strength. You let Wanda push you into the backseat of her car. One sniff of the air and you could tell someone else was in the car. "You have a chauffeur?" Natasha covered your mouth and pushed you further into the backseat. 

"Home," was all she told the driver before closing the partition and focusing her attention on you. "Yes, but I promise the back of the car is soundproof." It certainly wasn't, but she needed to hear how whiny you could get. Natasha practically pounced on you after she closed the door. The kiss was hot and passionate. Your fangs bumped against hers every time your lips collided. "Can you taste what I drank earlier?" She asked with a giggle. 

A whine escaped your lips when Natasha pulled away. "Um…a lot of vodka and cooper..?" Your answer earned you another kiss. Natasha's lips felt like heaven against yours. She overwhelmed all your senses in the most delicious way possible. You didn't even notice how hard you'd gotten. "You smell…really good." You mumbled in the handful of seconds between kisses. 

She chuckled but didn't respond. You were too cute. "I'm going to make you feel so good tonight." Natasha's kisses moved down the side of your jaw until she reached the base of your neck. Her hands wasted no time undoing your belt and tossing it on the car's floor. One of her fingers circled around the tip of the tent in your pants while she watched you squirm. "You're so sensitive."

You opened your mouth to speak only to be interrupted by a string of cursing and desperate whimpering. "Sorry, I'm just new to all of this," you confessed. It was a little hard to imagine your first time going to a bar would take such a turn. 

"Don't tell me someone as cute as you is still a virgin." Your silence was enough. It was as arousing as it was disappointing. Natasha didn't want to go slow by any means, but the thought of getting to corrupt that innocent little mind of yours was exhilarating. "I promise I'll be extra gentle with your little friend." 

The car parked before Natasha could pull down your boxers. Natasha's lust-driven craze left you in quite an awkward position while waiting for her to unlock the door. Holding your pants up only made your bulge stand out more and there was an obscene amount of lipstick covering your neck. You hoped Natasha wasn't secretly vampire famous or else you'd be in real trouble. 

Natasha pulled you into her home and wasted no time undressing you. Your shoes, shorts, sweater, and T-shirt littered the soft carpet. Natasha had you completely naked by the time she pushed you onto the bed. "You're making a mess already," she whispered seductively as she crawled onto the bed. Her eyes focused on the way your member throbbed and leaked precum. 

Your eyes followed Natasha's as she began stroking your member. It was tortuously slow, but it felt good. A near-pornographic moan fell from your lips as your head tilted back. "Your hands are so soft," you whimpered pathetically. All your willpower went into staying still. You didn't know what to do with yourself. "C-can I touch you too?" You blindly reached out and grabbed the first thing you could feel. Mindlessly, you groped the soft flesh in hopes that it would make Natasha feel good too. Your face burned bright red as she moved your hand to where her breast actually was. “Sorry…I wasn’t looking,” you mumbled. 

Natasha kissed up the underside of your cock before licking all the way down to the base. “A good pup would pay attention to someone making them feel this good.” She waited until you looked down at her. Once she was sure you wouldn’t look away, she swallowed you down to the base. Her cheeks hallowed out as she began sucking you off.

Your hips twitched and your eyelids fluttered, but you tried your best to keep your eyes open. As your orgasm got closer, you found it harder to control yourself. An animalistic growl ripped through your throat as you tried to control yourself. Your fangs forced themselves out of your mouth and your claws had nearly ripped Natasha’s sheets. “W-wait, slow down,” were the only words you could get out before it happened. 

Hot white cum painted the inside of Natasha’s throat as she swallowed down everything you gave her. Natasha didn’t give you a break and continued until you pushed her away. “Is that all you have left?” She blew on your bulbous tip before giving it a kiss.

“N-no, I just…I need a second. That’s all.”

[tinytalkingtina]

Wiggly 🧠🪱 Wednesday

@devondespresso Tagged me in this forever ago and I finally had one wiggle its way into my brain!

This week been fiddling with the idea of a true role reversal Steddie, with Eddie as the popular jock and Steve as the metalhead (as opposed to a punk). This got a little away from me, haha. No idea for a story or how other characters might fit in, but if anyone wants to take the concept and run with it feel free!

Eddie

Eddie is still poor, and still lives with his uncle (let's pretend he had to repeat a grade due to the chaos of moving in with Wayne). But he's Hawkin's star track runner/lightweight wrestler, channeling his energy into sports and competition. His grades are probably still not great, but since he's winning awards at meets, teachers let a lot more slide, and he skates by most of his classes with low C's. If he's loud and excited, then well, that's just what jocks do, right?

Wayne works nights, so Eddie is usually left to his own devices. Sure, the trailer can't hold that many people (and maybe Eddie has a bit of a chip on his shoulder that he lives in the trailer park), but this is the Midwest, and Eddie is creative. He hosts big bonfire ragers out in the woods, deep enough that the cops can't easily break them up.

Eddie's "Munson Doctrine" is from the perspective of being a jock. Mixed with his insecurities, it becomes about staying on top, no matter what. That means dating around, taking girls out most Fridays. He likes girls and has plenty of fun. And if he occasionally slips in a fantasy or two about drug dealer Steve Harrington pinning him against a wall with that knife of his, no one needs to know.

Steve

Then we have Steve. Steve's had piano lessons since he was 5. A framed picture of him in his bow tie and tiny suit at his first recital sits on his mom's desk. He's good at sports and does Little League as a kid, but they don't hold his interest, not the way music does. When he hits middle school, him and his dad have a huge fight over him refusing to try out for any sports. The cracks were already there, because his parents are louder than they think when they argue. To drown them out, he turns on the radio, spinning the dials. By chance, he finds a Black Sabbath song. Something in it speaks to him, gives an outlet to the frustration and anger he's feeling.

Steve picks up drums to play in band at school, but he also borrows books from the library and teaches himself guitar after begging his mom for one for his 13th birthday. He makes a few friends, they start a band. As he enters high school his parents fight more. His grades, never great to begin with, slip further, so no more allowance for Steve. The first time he tries to steals a tape, he's caught almost immediately. But he gets better at it over time. Can't steal tattoos though, and Steve's not a great artist. So maybe he starts dealing. His parents work late most nights, so they don't need to know about his...extracurricular hobbies.

Even if he's not at the top of the high school food chain, Steve's still good at reading people and social situations. I don't think he would have the desire to DM AD&D, but I think Steve makes a good player, always solid at strategizing. In the hallways, he sees and overhears things, enough that he's able to keep the heat off him and his friends with some clever insinuation, and the threat to cut off anyone who tries something.

He sees the way that loudmouth jock Eddie Munson's eyes flick down to his lips when he buys weed off him at parties too, the guy isn't nearly as subtle as he thinks he is. Steve would love to take him down a couple pegs, if Eddie'd let him.

Thanks to @little-annie for some ideas on fleshing metalhead!Steve out more :D

Edit: check out the role reversal steddie tag for snippets of what Annie and I are writing now :)

No pressure tags to some folks (and if anyone wants to be tagged in the future let me know!): @augustjustice @hbyrde36 @puppy-steve @soaringornithopter

@hairstevington @eyesofshinigami

[tiredlilguy]

can I please req Jouno being soft with you? I don't really care if it's hcs or scenarios (maybe w a reader that loves physical touch??), anyhow- take your time ((:

a/n: ASDFASDFADSF YESSS >:D love him, he is so silly and hot and sadistic and psychopathic (isn't he just so dreamy). also my favorite hunting dog. i did both hc's and a scenario... enjoy and ty for requesting hehe :)

pairing: Jouno X GN!Reader cw: N/A, not proofread, probably ooc, tooth-rotting fluff desc: just some soft hc's and scenario for the soul.

he’s quite cold in public with you, but in private he’s SO needy

I can see him being really clingy: arms around your waist all the time, nibbling your ears, wanting to hold your hand or linking arms

Jouno is very quick to deny being needy however, and I can see him getting annoyed if you acknowledge it; he’ll let go of your with a pout, but then he’ll come back like a couple minutes later and bury his head into your neck

I think he just enjoys caressing/touching you in general because you’re such a big comfort for him; being able to be tactile with something that he find comforting is nice (you’re like his safety blanket)

Will follow you around the house with his hands on your waist, and just not say anything

If you’re on a date together in public, he’ll link arms with you; he uses you as an excuse to be his “walking stick” even though he himself doesn’t need one (you know that too, just don’t tell him)

He will relax into you a lot: he’ll lean onto your shoulder and practically melt into your warmth despite being in a noisy subway

Jouno enjoys touch, but he also likes to take you on quiet dates too: flower/strawberry picking (crying, thinking about this one), library dates where you softly read to him, enjoying a new cafe nearby

So long as you’re there, he doesn’t mind the overstimulating noise

He does most of the initiating in physical touch, but if you initiate the touch, he’ll melt

He enjoys it when you brush a hand on his own, when you sit in his lap and caress his cheek or run your hand through his hair

Just don’t tell him that he’s blushing-

He doesn’t often show this softer side in public, but if it’s with you, he’ll be ok :)

(For the scenario… let’s say you’re an assistant that works for the Hunting Dogs)

Walking past the hallway, you had carried a small tray with mugs of coffee inside. You’d left your bed quite earlier than usual, due to being asked to be on-call earlier than usual. To your knowledge, you made sure that Jouno was ready for the day: setting up his uniform at the usual spot, having things around in his usual spots so that he wouldn’t get confused. You tried your best to make life a little bit easier for him, and he was grateful. You smiled, knowing you’d see him again shortly as you were about to deliver coffee.

You gently knocked on the door to a meeting room,” Excuse me… I have coffee!” You’d brewed the coffee yourself using coffee beans that’d come in a shipment the day before. You always felt a sense of pride delivering the morning coffee, as you often recall hearing praises of how well it tasted. You were given entry inside, and you opened the door with a soft greeting. You placed mugs in front of each member, placing the last one on Jouno’s side. Before you could walk out however, you were gently tugged on the sleeve by your lover. You complied, looking over at him curiously. He motioned for you to lean down, and you followed.

“ Meet me in the kitchen after this meeting,” he whispered into your ear, sending somewhat of a shiver down your spine. You let out a soft hum and nodded, standing back up. You took your leave, slipping out of the door without making any noise.

…

You had nothing to do in the mean time, so you sat down on one of the tables in the kitchen. You stared at your feet as you played music into your earphones, swaying your feet up and down. Eventually, you heard footsteps and looked up. It was Jouno, and he looked rather grumpy.

“ Is everything ok, honey?,” you asked gently. However in response, he quickly enveloped you in his arms, pulling you into his lap as he sat down in a chair. You were about to say something again, before he shoved his forehead into your shoulder. You looked over, at him and raised a brow.

“ What’s wrong, my love?,” you gently kissed the side of his head. He let out a soft ‘hmph’ in response.

“ You left me alone this morning hugging a pillow…,” he admitted, though slightly muffled as his head was still on your shoulder.

“ I’m sorry that I made you upset,” you apologized, a hand gently moving to touch his forearm,” I was just on call early.”

“ You could’ve at least woken me up before you left.”

“ You’ve been tired these days, so I let you sleep in until you needed to get up.”

“ That still doesn’t change anything,” he protested.

It went silent for a moment as you both stayed there as you caressed his arms that were tightly around your waist.

Jouno let in a soft inhale,” You smell strongly of coffee.”

“ The coffee beans were very fragrant today… Is that bad?,” you answered.

“ No, I like it,” his replied, his voice unusually soft.

You two enjoyed the small peace for a moment until it was time to continue on with the rest of your days.

[awryval]

death of an author, reclamation, and you

"We never are what we intend, or invent 'Cause I make little lies and then I pull them apart Think something dark's living down in my heart And if I wanted to die before I got old I should've started some years ago digging that hole"

Brand New. "At the Bottom." Daisy, 2009.

Brand New was among one of my favorite bands in high school, and I still listen to them today. Their music is important to me and shaped a big part of who I am. Their lyrics about being tortured, burnt-out, and choking on the weight of your own self-perceived flaws are relatable! Their compositions ooze with a level of self-hatred that can only be genuine. It's utterly depressing, and I adore it!

That's not not the full story, though. Jesse Lacey, the vocalist of Brand New, is a sexual predator. This informs everything about how the music of Brand New is. It's self-loathing for a very good reason. I love Brand New. I condemn Jesse Lacey. These two statements coexist. I used to be a part of the /r/brandnew subreddit, and when the allegations against Jesse Lacey came out in 2017, many redditors of that sub were quick to claim "death of the author." After all, the band had broken up immediately after the news broke, and they had also cancelled their tours. Currently, the people using that subreddit mostly talk about buying old BN merchandise and discuss what their favorite concert memories were. Jesse Lacey himself confirmed that the allegations against him were true, so there isn't much debate to be had. The subreddit serves as a monument for fans who still enjoy the music, and as a platform to speak about it with like-minded fans.

In my opinion, claiming "death of an author" is a slippery slope. We can't always claim that Miku is the creator of Minecraft. But often, we see that that is the response people have when a creator is outed to be problematic; "I still like the thing So-and-So made, so I will ignore that the creator exists!" The reason that this worked for Miku Minecraft is because, by the time that Notch was publicly making transphobic comments, he did not own Minecraft anymore. The joke is quite literally that he does not own the thing that people like. He sold it to Microsoft, so he doesn't get royalties from it anymore. You can play Minecraft devoid of supporting its original creator. This joke works so well because it is an actual case of the death of an author! That's great and all for Minecraft, but what about other instances? What happens when we claim "death of the creator" erroneously? And why are we so obsessed with this concept anyway?

So like, back to Brand New... they released their last album, Science Fiction, back in August 2017. The allegations came out later that same year. I own all of Brand New's discography physically, including their last release. I bought most of it off eBay when I was 15. I was not supporting them post-allegations. But that leaves me with a lingering question- what do I do with all these CDs that I still very much enjoy the music of? From how I see it, there are two firm camps on this topic:

Camp 1: You know about Lacey's crimes now and his music cannot be separated from his actions. Solution: Throw your CDs away.

Camp 2: It's something you bought without knowledge of Lacey's crimes, so you should enjoy it anyway. Death of an author! Solution: Continue as usual.

I'm not fond of either of these answers. They come off as too polarized for a situation that is the entire Pantone swatch library of grays. "But, how are there any shades of gray when its clear that Jesse Lacey is in the wrong?" I want to provide some counter questions for you to think about:

What about the other people in the band? You might not be directly supporting the sexual predator anymore, but there are other victims here too- effectively his band mates lost their jobs overnight. (Another example would be LOSTPROPHETS)

Is it feasible to destroy each object you own because it was created under problematic circumstances? When or when isn't this the case? Does it apply to your cup of coffee? Does it apply to the clothes you wear? What about any product with palm oil in it? What about the hardware in your computer? If you look into any company, you're going to find some horrific things you don't like about it. The takeaway here is that it isn't beneficial to treat situations like these as black or white. I don't think that destroying my CDs is going to do anything to take away the abuse that Jesse Lacey caused. Nor do I think ignoring the context of his music will do anyone any favors. The music he made is a product of his crimes. To ignore that fact would be disingenuous to why people enjoy his music and why the music exists in the first place. There's another element here, though. I, and many others, are no longer monetarily supporting Jesse Lacey. You can't even officially support the release of Brand New's music anymore as their record label (Procrastinate! Music Traitors) doesn't even seem to have a functioning website anymore? Regardless, I wouldn't want to support his music in a way that supports him, anyway. Yes, I enjoy the music and the themes of it, but I do not want to be directly supporting abuse that happened BECAUSE he was a vocalist in a band. And I can safely do this with CDs that I bought secondhand, right? This is death of the author. So what's the issue?

I believe there is an issue when people claim “death of the author” far too quickly and scramble to reclaim the media for themselves. It’s an increasingly popular trend these days to pluck characters/concepts from an author deemed to be problematic. "I'll save [Character I like] from this shitty piece of media!", they claim. I don't think people realize how multifaceted in effect that is, though. For instance, if the author is actively making money from their creation, you can't truly "reclaim" a character from them. It's more like you're paying homage to them with fanart.

My best on-going example of this would be Floraverse. There are a multitude of reasons why people do not like the author/s of Floraverse, which I will not go into here. To put it simply, though, since its inception in 2013, many artists and writers involved with Flora either left or were kicked out. These artists either directly contributed to the art and worldbuilding of the webcomic, or were heavily influenced by it. To this day, there are many times someone links me to art on Discord and I’ll say “oh I remember that person, they used to be a Flora fanartist!” and the other person is absolutely floored that that artist was ever linked to Floraverse. Anyway… There have been multiple attempts at people trying to reclaim Floraverse from the author, and this never works out. Like, it really doesn’t work out. Any time that someone tries to reclaim Floraverse characters for themselves whilst condemning the author, that person is dogpiled by the Floraverse community. Which is a weird behavior for a CC BY-SA webcomic, but I digress. Here are some highlights:

In 2019, there was a thread dedicated to Redesigning Floraverse that immediately got taken over by Floraverse itself a month later.

An artist got harassed for multiple years (I think it was 2020-2023) for having an oc based on Beleth, a character in Floraverse.

Just 2 months ago, an artist got harassed for drawing fanart of the characters

Historically, reclaiming Floraverse characters from the author hasn't worked out. And I mean.. why would it? It's an actively running "webcomic" (I'll be charitable) and with an active community that supports the author's current works and views with their wallets. It's one thing to enjoy a piece of media with a problematic author and want to reclaim that media for yourself. It is another for this reclamation to actually be effective. Attempts of "reclaiming" Floraverse get written off as fanworks that the community dislikes. You cannot reclaim Floraverse characters as they do not exist in a vacuum. Listening to secondhand Brand New CDs does work in a vacuum; Jesse Lacey's career is dead in the water. The same cannot be said for reclaiming the art of Glitchedpuppet and co. Floraverse characters and stories are not divorced from the abuses they cause. Characters will be used as strawmen to abuse community members, past or present. Or entire works will be up dedicated to making light of your childhood trauma! These characters were made by an abuser, and will be used to abuse. That is a simple fact about Floraverse. Except... in that statement, I'm not even talking about Glitchedpuppet, the current author of Floraverse. I'm talking about Marlcabinet, the previous author of Floraverse. This statement does however, apply to both of them. Hey, wait a minute, that's weird! I've been talking about "death of the author" for this entire post, and I just said that reclaiming Floraverse characters can't work because the way the characters were used to abuse real people doesn't exist in a vacuum. So like, why does this work within the Floraverse webcomic itself? Marl is the abuser of Glip, but Marl is also the author of the majority of early Floraverse. Isn't the story itself, as it currently stands, an act of reclaiming characters used to abuse community members, minors, and any detractors? Then who is to say that those who contributed to Floraverse and were similarly abused are not also allowed this same privilege? Their real-world suffering is what fuels the comic. When I was 13-16, I adored a Floraverse character named Cayenne. His whole deal was that he was an autistic child slave and was horribly abused by everyone around him. Weird character to connect to, but he’s the character that made me figure out I had autism! I drew a LOT of fanart of this character and I even own a (gifted) life-size plush of him. The authors only ever treated him as a joke and it was a joke even within the Floraverse community that I was the only person who actually liked/cared about him. Sometimes I think about reclaiming him for myself. But I also don’t want to get harassed, and I know I could design much better things, and write better things. Conversely, I also think about how this is the exact character that made me get into contact with Marl when I was 16. It’s a heavy weight to carry knowing that this exact character was the reason I was almost in the clutches of a child predator. Glip personally deferred me to him. Reclaiming Cayenne would hold emotional value for me as a reminder of my triumph over a predator. Would it be wrong for me to reclaim an abused child character from a comic that abused me and many others as children? I've no clue. And I don't think anyone can answer that. I've waffled on it for ~2 years now. Reclaiming Cayenne would give attention to an individual that profits off abusing others, myself included. I'd say that reclaiming Floraverse characters wouldn't be a case of "death of the author", but the original creator of them was a child predator that's no longer on the internet. Floraverse is already practicing death of an author, and it is a shell of its former self. That being said, it is not a story that only has one author. Its other authors are still active, and these authors include every person that it has abused in its wake. After all, it's a comic that relies on you to know about its dramas with and traumas of real people. Tell me: Does a death of the author matter when its being written about you?

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/20/2024

a little light this week bc i had a fairly wretched week, medically speaking

listening

hozier's nobody's soldier would have been on every 8tracks mix for every character. THEEEEE blorbo song of all time to the point i am already annoyed at the thought of seeing it on every spotify mix. fuckin owns tho. very fun mod sixties heist taste to the horn arrangement

-

reading

thank you philip.

polished off the Marauders (2019-2022) comics. i liked the first volume way more than these three-- they didn't quite deliver the same quality of art or swashbuckles-per-minute. also this was probably not a great choice for someone who has forgotten what little she once knew about the xmen, even though they came at the beginning of a reboot.

why did i read these? mostly bc they were readily available or with short wait times at my library and my bestie is making me watch all the xmen movies. a girl gets curious about comic books sometimes

surprisingly, i came across this one from the Pocket integration on the firefox new tabs

McDonald likens the functions of Spotify to Google Maps. “Google Maps doesn’t do the exploration for me, but it’s helpful if I go somewhere,” he says. Rather than taking us on guided tours, it provides the tools for us to navigate somewhere new. Much as it shows us what’s nearby and how to get there, and flags notable landmarks others have visited, Spotify helps us access most music, lists global listening trends, and introduces us to artists similar to those we already know. But it’s communities that help us home in on a destination Spotify can help us explore.

part two of breaking down infamous academic paper mill Hindawi and why it was bought by Wiley anyway bc they did seemingly no due diligence, bc as a whole they do very little actual work in the publishing process.

i have included a very long quote bc it is one of only two things that made me genuinely laugh out loud this week (the other was phil unsticking a claw from the couch by backflipping herself out)

One issue of Wireless Communications and Mobile Computing from 2022, edited mostly by Hamurabi Gamboa Rosales, took an average of about 20 days to go from initial submission to revision submission. This is not unlikely, it’s impossible. The easiest way to explain this is with an analogy. Say there’s a pothole outside your house, and you call the council. You tell them ‘there’s a big hole in the road outside my house!’ The person at the other end, rather than tiredly telling you to fill out a form - which is what councils do all over the world, in my experience - instead yells ‘MOTHER OF GOD! WE’RE RIGHT ON IT!’ Twenty minutes later, a bitumen truck comes HURTLING around the corner of your street at full send, with the road workers hanging out the back of it, the driver leaning on the horn and yelling ‘GET OUT OF THE WAY! POTHOLE!’ They pull up outside your house, and you see the brakes go hot. But the guys don’t even wait for it to stop, they jump off while it’s slowing down, and they grab pry bars and a burner and a kettle of bitumen, and they start hammering out the edges, pour the bitumen and start slamming it with hammers almost at the same time. In about six minutes, the hole is filled and flattened, and they admire their work for about four hundred milliseconds and SCREAM off the way they came. No sooner has the truck disappeared, then your phone rings - and it’s the council worker from before. ‘POTHOLE! *pant* *pant* FIXED! Happy to be of service!’ *click* That’s how likely the entire editorial process taking 20 days is.

-

watching

i don't understand why the third xmen movie isn't named x cubed. it extremely is not their last stand there are like a dozen more movies to go. gun to my head i could not tell you what happened in this one. whatsherface did look good as hell though

and now for the movie i actually want to talk about, Monkey Man (2024, dir. Patel). imdb says:

An anonymous young man unleashes a campaign of vengeance against the corrupt leaders who murdered his mother and continue to systematically victimize the poor and powerless.

i am so so so lucky that my favorite kind of fight scene — fast, brutal, right spaces with improvised weapons-- is fashionable. pour it DIRECTLY into my open mouth

i think i generally agree with a broad sweep of reviewers here when i tell you that this movie is gorgeous and grossnasty at the same time, there are a lot of ideas that aren't all quite resolved, and i am much more interested in why it has a hell of a lot of ideas (part of why they don't all get resolved).

patel's first movie, it feels very much like a movie of someone who isn't sure they'll be able to do another one, so throw everything you've got in here. a sort of famously rocky production and shoestring budget, but you would not know it. the club scenes are especially dripping in glitz and, like many stage productions, have a lot of clever editing and strategic deployment of mirrors and repeats. there's a fight scene with hanging mirrors near the end where the mirrors can't have been more than fifty bucks each but it looks SO fucking sick.

i am much more willing to go to bat for this movie and ignore some of the rough edges bc it is so refreshingly earnest, and despite the style references, is very focused on being its own thing. at some points it's going to feel like The Matrix (1999, dir. the Wachowskis) bc every movie made in a post- The Matrix (1999, dir. the Wachowskis) world is going to feel a little bit like The Matrix (1999, dir. the Wachowskis). or like when the above gif happened in the movie it did not make me want to turn it off and go watch the first john wick.

people who live in india or are part of the diaspora are a little cranky about the political parties of the film, which had to be neutered for release. while i don't think i would have grasped all the nuances even if we did have the original cut, i think it's likely some of the characters would have resolved a little cleaner if that original intent was still there.

why did i watch this? i think patel is easily as hot as tumblr darling mifune. while drafting this post i got distracted sooooooo many times trying to pick the perfect gif. some of them are too hot!!!

-

playing

fallow week

-

making

just stayin alive! just livin the fuckin dream!!!

[hypersomniagame]

HYPERSOMNIA JANUARY DEV LOG : "LOG 1, WOOHOO!"

Hi! For all of you who follow HYPERSOMNIA, or are just stopping by, let me introduce you to this post to really set the tone.

For 2024, I am going to try to release a dev log about HYPERSOMNIA once a month, may come earlier, may come a little late, but I'm doing this to help give insight on to how the game is going, and to give me motivation to work on the game.

First things first, big news!

HYPERSOMNIA IS NOW AVAILABLE TO WISHLIST ON STEAM! (LINK)

After a while of back and forwarding with Valve, I've finally got a Steam page to call my own, and MAN is it bizarre seeing my weird little RPG in my Steam library. Like, that's my logo, and my key art, and screenshots of MY game, that's so weird. It doesn't feel real. BUT IT IS!

And, I would really really really really really appreciate it if you would consider wishlisting the game on Steam. It helps with the algorithm, and my happiness because I like seeing numbers go up, it feels good.

I even drew this as a announcement/commemoration for the page going live.

(P.S; if you couldn't tell, I really like Half-Life, it's one of my favorite game series.)

Secondly...

A new trailer is in the works! We were accepted for this year's MOTHER Direct (4th time baby, whoo!)

The trailer has been coming along well, I hope to show more battle oriented clips that I've missed the last few years, like special moves.

Can you believe I've never actually gotten to adding those in the game? I mean, they come set-up in default RPG Maker projects but I've never gotten around to revamping them until now, year 4 of engine work. Isn't that strange?

I also hope to improve on editing in the trailers. Whenever I finish a trailer I come back a few months later to notice minor points where I was kinda sloppy.

I'm not much of a video editor, (I only learned so I could edit trailers on my own) but I'd like to keep them at a good presentable quality. You gotta have standards with that kinda stuff, it's important!

OK, TIME FOR THE ACTUAL GAME STUFF. HERE WE GO.

Abilities are now implemented! And work! Wahoo!

In HYPERSOMNIA, players are able to switch abilities between party members. I find this a really interesting mechanic for how simple it seems, you get to choose who plays what role in your party. I think this is HUGE, and opens up a lot of unique scenarios for the game's encounters. I've had this planned for years, as far back as 2021 if I can recall, so it's super cool seeing it in game.

Mapping is being worked on!

I've also been working on mapping out more areas of the game! The forest part you hopefully saw in the last trailer is almost completely mapped. I've been working on the second part to it and am hoping to finish it sometime soon.

Mapping forests really suck. THOUGH, almost all the maps for the first chapter of the game are done! That's just another step closer to the demo. (Which, FYI, will be on Steam and Itch! ^^)

I've also been working on re-spriting older scenes!

This one's been really fun to do, I've been going back and redoing older stuff from the 2022 trailer, like this train! It's weird seeing it side by side, because you can definitely see where it's come from but at the same time, it looks so different.

(Also side note, these sprites are CRUSTY! EWWW!)

Lastly, Script and Music updates!

The script for HYPERSOMNIA's first act has been completed! with just 37 pages of just cutscene dialog alone! We're also currently working on wrapping up NPC dialog! Not much else to say.

And music is being worked on!

Music has been making some progress! I like to lay out demo's for areas I'm mapping out to help make both the music and scene come together. (Also, to help break up the eerie silence when playtesting...)

Speaking of music, FIREBALL, the games main battle theme, was recently delisted on our YouTube channel.

We did this because we decided we wanted to resample FIREBALL, and found that it's best to not have the song uploaded until a complete, final version is made. At least for the demo, it could possibly change before the final game but that's a bit too far in the future for me to think about fully.

Hey! Thanks for reading the whole dev log! Unless you just skipped to the end, you should probably go back up and read it. there's a steam page now. and some cool ross art at the top. you're missing out!

I hope this was like, readable to you all. I'm new to this whole dev log thing, so if you read it all the way through, let me know! It'd be cool!

I'd like to use this portion to pretty much just advertise Unique Indie RPG's.

Have you ever seen that strange purple square at the beginning of the 2nd and 3rd HYPERSOMNIA trailers?

Yeah, that! That's UNIQUE INDIE RPG's, which is a Discord community for you guessed it, Unique Indie RPG videogames developed by people like me! Or you! Or whoever! Who cares!

I help run it with some of my friends, and we all share cool stuff about our videogames! There's a ton of other SUPER cool RPG Maker games there like Astral Guard [LINK], or SOMEWHEN [LINK], or even MOMOinc [LINK]!

And of course, HYPERSOMNIA. It's a really laid back community, we're all super chill. Come swing by! We'd love to have ya, and SHOW US YOUR GAME!

[LINK TO DISCORD SERVER]

TWITTER

YOUTUBE

STEAM

UNIQUE INDIE RPG'S [SHOW US YOUR GAME!]

[PREV] [ABOUT HYPERSOMNIA] [NEXT]

[quills-of-freedom]

Headcanons ~

Modern AU - How they'd react to seeing you working in a strip club (And they have feelings for you)

Inspired by... well me being an ex-stripper :')

Written as if reader is working there just for some extra cash, not as a living - it'll make sense why I noted this as it goes on.

Reiner - Porco - Eren - Levi

Some music to set the mood 🔥

Reiner

Reiner would never wander into a strip club on his own accord, either being dragged in during a bachelor party or doesn't realise what the establishment actually is. As much as he appreciates the female form, Reiner is too respectful and too much of a softy and a blushing mess.

Get this man some water please, for pity's sake. His face is flushed the entire time he's in there, his eye-line erratic as he avoids sights of thighs, asses, boobs and bare stomachs.

When the dancers come to talk to him for a private dance, he'll politely turn them down, his eyes glueing to theirs, his mouth dry and - oh gosh is he shaking?

He doesn't know it's you being called on stage because well, they use your stage name. But when the lights brighten slightly and he sees you - legit thinks he's been spiked for a moment and is seeing things.

His movements all stop, his lips part and his eyes enlarge when he realises this is actually happening.

"Oh, you like her?" The other girls will say. "She's great, you should get a dance from her."

Excuses himself and heads into the bathroom while you're on stage, splashing his face with cold water. Other patrons in the toilets laugh at him. "Yeah, it's tough out there, huh buddy?"

Once he hears applause he knows you're done and swiftly leaves. This is what gives him the incentive to confess his feelings for you and try to convince you to leave.

I know if Reiner Braun told me he loved me, I'd leave and never look back.

Porco

Porco loves to talk big and will laugh and "banter" with the "lads" but under the surface, he's a lot like Reiner and is pretty shy (at first) when it comes to intimacy.

He's respectful and will enjoy the attention of the dancers but I can't see him ever getting a private dance, if I'm honest.

He avoids his gaze like Reiner but isn't having mini panic attacks about it like his blonde friend.

When he sees you, he freezes and his nose burns pink but quickly regains his composure. He'll walk up to you and tell you to get changed, he's taking you home.

He hasn't drunk too much so he's okay to drive as he takes you towards his house.

"Porco, where are we -" "You should have just told me if you wanted some money." "It's not like that, I can make my own mon-" "We'll talk about it later."

You'll go to his where you have a long conversation into the night, where he admits his feelings for you and fucks you into his bed.

Oh god, I might turn this one into a fic...

Eren

I can't see Eren actively seeking out a "gentleman's" club, but he's not fussed about being in one either.

He turns down private dances politely. He'll have friendly conversations with the dancers but if they keep pushing for money he will turn mean.

He will get a dance if he is totalled though, but he'll sit with a blank face the entire time - unless he was my boyfriend, I don't think I would wanna dance for Eren tbh :')

Has no problem approaching you with a smirk when he sees you. "Woah, I didn't know you worked here. I'd be in every night."

Pays you to talk with him all night (he insists) to keep other men away from you and to warm you up for his confessions of feelings later. If any man stares, he'll shoot a warning look. If anyone is disrespectful, he will throw hands.

He stops drinking so he can take you home after your shift. He takes you to his, confesses his feelings, convinces you to stop and gives you the best sex of your life until you can no longer walk.

Levi

There's no way Levi would knowingly go into a club. Let alone a nude one. He's either been tricked or he wasn't aware. "Little black book...? I thought this was a fuckin' Library." "Levi... what library is open at 2am with thumping music?!"

Is not amused. DO NOT try to get a private dance. Oh god, he will make you cry if you try to.

Once he sees you, he'll snarl and straight up grab you and tell you to get changed, he's taking you home.

You have to beg the bouncers not to all leap onto him.

Scolds you, so bad. But explains it's only because he cares. It's not the profession it's the people it attracts.

Again, best sex of your life.

[study-core-101]

Hii ur blog is soo helpful!! Any tips for when u rlly need to study and ur all prepped but u litr just can’t bring urself to do it?

Hi! Starting is always so hard, but there some things to do to help it, like:

Set a reward. For the example, "if I study for 30 minutes, I will watch another episode of my tv show" or "When I finish this assigment, I'm going to eat my favorite snack". It doesnt have to be something "big" but to have a short-term reward works wonders.

Having someone near you doing something productive while you study can be a good motivator too. It can be a study buddy, a stranger doing work in the table next to you in the library, or someone of your household (roommate/parent/sibling/etc) doing anything. Seeing someone doing something productive (whether it is studying, cooking, cleaning or other) is motivating.

Make a to-do list. Break the tasks into smaller tasks. Ticking an item is so satisfactory/motivating.

What also really helps me is to start with another task and then move on into the work. I do something simple, like making my bed to get into a "productive streak" and start the school work then. I usually start with the easiest assigmement or one of my preferred subjects to get into the studying mood before the more boring/tedious/hard tasks.

Reduce distractions. Turn off your phone or keep it away. If you study with music, listen songs without lyrics. If other people distract you, find a place you will be alone.

Another tip I've seen people recommend so much (it never worked for me because I'm a disaster with that type of stuff but for a lot of people work really well so maybe it works for you) is to plan ahead. Have a calendar or at least a notion of when you have free time and aren't mentally tired. Like for example, if you finish early on Wednesdays, set a few hour/s to study that day. Have a strict routine. Though, like I said, it isn't for everyone.

Alarms. Set 28843274 alarms.

Hope this helps!

-Jay

[ochrearia]

I love that my synesthesia is something I get to apply to people and characters because of how I think make no mistake the type that I have is simply a hearing-sight blend that I can't control in my brain so I see shapes and colors from things I hear and mine works with music mainly though laughter and the wind also triggers it. It's just a quirk of my own way of thinking that lets me apply this to people and characters that I love. Music's already a big part of me and somewhere along the line I decided "You know what? Sound is like a second language to me already, instrumentals and music speaking in a way that vocal word can't, and who's to say I can't take in everything I've learned about a person, what makes them tick, what makes them who they are, their actions, thoughts, feelings, take all of those and create the concept of a soul by perceiving it all wrapped into one as a song that I have in my online libraries?" And that's what I do. Now let me go the fuck off about Pico Newgrounds because make no mistake I'm not an expert on this idiot but from what I personally see of him and what he can become with a nudge in the right or wrong direction is so. Wonderful to me

Now I have mentioned this before and I have even painted this and driven the point in that it's him but this is the song that Pico sounds like to me

And I think it's important for me to go into detail about something right off the bat. I am a firm believer in the idea that your trauma does NOT equal who you are. And by that I mean it can be a piece, or pieces, that help shape you and push you in directions that change yourself but it, to me, will never be You. There is ALWAYS more to a person than the shit they've gone through, more to a person than the shit they struggle with and have to live with as a result of a terrible event. Sorry to drop some wild Ochre lore here but My anxiety disorder, my past abusive relationship and subsequent SA encounter, those things aren't ME. They are parts, yes, and they are things that pushed me in the direction of what I am now but. That's not all I am, and I highly doubt anyone I've told about those things views me as just that. Pico is not just his trauma. They are pieces of him but they are not him. He's not the shooting, not the russian roulette, he's not any of it. Those are just things he lived through.

On the outside, he can be really explained by one word. Guarded. Because he is, guarding himself from the horrors of the world by being standoffish, and cruel at times, a damaged man with a gun not above killing people for his own benefit but that's just what he's learned to do to survive. The world's been nothing but unkind to him and he mirrors that outwardly, why should the world get to witness his vulnerability, his true self when all it's done is burn him? No, of course not. He can be a "bad" person but he isn't a bad person, not truly.

So who is Pico, then? At the end of everything he's been through, kind. Smart, and creative, knows a thing or two about survival and skilled with his guns and that's impressive. Cocky and still kind of an asshole, but at the same time loyal and willing to go over the edge and maybe too far for other people that aren't himself. I don't give a goddamn if PA or whoever the fuck says that Pico hates BF and GF, he was supposed to kill Boyfriend in FNF, TWICE, and he doesn't. I'd like to think that people don't just so casually disobey Daddy Dearest and all of his money. Pico does anyways. Loyalty. Even though it puts targets on his back from his own friends for a little bit. He does the right thing from a sense of kindness and morality that outwardly he'd have you believing he doesn't have. But it's there and I'm very much aware of it.

Yes, there will be days that he temporarily can become the "him" he shows outwardly as a defense mechanism. Bad days where he struggles mentally, days where everything seems hopeless and not worth it so why even bother being a real person? But that's still not fully *him* and he couldn't get rid of the aspects of his true personality even if he tried. Even if his head convinced him that he was a good for nothing murderer and lost cause of a man. He's not. Sometimes he believes it, and that's worrying, but he really just isn't. Though I suppose if you wanted to nudge his character in that direction, you still could. There is a clear darker path that he can be pushed to and that's something very audible in the song that I chose to encapsulate him if you listen close enough. But for the sake of where I like to see him, I don't fully go down that path because I believe in giving him a happier ending.

He is space blue, and a deep gray bordering on full black. He is jade green and an off-white/silver, hazy but strong and encircling back on himself like a spiral galaxy. Soft colors that move slowly, contrasting the idea that he can never slow down or stop because then he'd unravel and fall back to that vulnerable part of him he tries so hard to hide. He really is like a slow moving snowstorm, gentle moving flurries that envelop and capture instead. Crisp lines that move like arms curling out and back around to cover himself and all his vulnerabilities, though I can see past them anyway. A large, rounded central core to him. Rounded, not sharp, not spiky, because all he wants to do is be safe and maybe, if he doesn't have to hurt anyone, he may choose not to. It's an air of a scared and wounded animal. Make no mistake, Pico can take care of himself, but beyond the severe distrust of other people maybe there's a part of him that doesn't want to be so locked up within himself. And it's for those special few that his shell sometimes crumbles to where they can see his true colors, perhaps even drown in them.

Despite the space blue and deep gray being darker, like a cloud hanging around him, they contrast with the jade green and silver that pushes a sense of light in the midst of it all. Pico's layers are clear to me, at least from what I can see. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm just saying what I want to see, but I'd like to think I've got a knack for nailing people and even characters by now. And no matter what song they may be, what vision I may see, they are all so very beautiful and important. Doesn't matter if it's a real person or not. I think it gives a sense of life to characters that I really adore. They're real on some other sense of reality, in those worlds shown on my eyes by my synesthesia that aren't truly there but are real to me. Kind of a little like hallucinations which might sound scary but I like these ones compared to the encounters I've had with. Other ones that aren't so nice lmao. Maybe they aren't really there but they're "fake" things that I absolutely don't mind having around

Pico is kind of someone I see a shocking amount of myself in. We have different traumas but it's sort of lead to some of the same outcomes regardless. And I don't want to consider him a lost cause personally. I don't like making him suffer for no reason so when I do write him suffering it's either me projecting my own experiences through him or tackling a bit of his mental health issues that he just seems to have. But besides that I like to write him with an air of hope and healing because I don't care what he struggles with he deserves a damn happy ending.

[twstfanblog]

I love your writing so much! Your Yuu OC is so cool and I am so obsessed with their energy <3

Writing request time~! Can I get some headcannons of Yuu visiting all of the twst clubs for the first time?

HI FRIEND! Sorry this took me so long to do! But ok, so I actually have this planned out as a chapter in my main story fic. So this is a perfect way to get it all written out for myself!

BUT ONTO THE ASK! MY YUU'S FIRST IMPRESSION OF THE NRC CLUBS!

BASKETBALL CLUB

Hi Jamil~ Flirty to the max, making him miss the shot he was trying to do

Isn't into sports in the slightest, but wanted to see what was offered at the school

Is honestly, too physical to play basketball, she'd be elbowing people in the ribs and Floyd would be supporting her

So for the safety of the other teams, Yuu was not allowed to join

Promises to come to the games to cheer for Jamil and Floyd (And Ace, but fuck him)

TRACK CLUB

Not a chance in hell. Boobs too big to be running around

Made fun of Deuce for thinking the school would have what is basically a motorcycle club

Did tell him it was a good choice of club since he wanted to be a cop in his future

Left the second Vargas showed up

BOARD GAMES CLUB

"Oh cool, Ortho's brother" "I have a name." "I don't care."

Liked the idea of the club, but couldn't see themselves actually joining. Enjoyed making Idia think they were gonna join

First meeting with Azul takes place here

Told them about the concept of 'The Game' and let that seed of chaos be planted into Idia's head to use against Azul at the most random of times (Sorry I made you lose UnU;)

EQUESTRIAN CLUB

"How much money does this school have?????"

Another they had no intention of joining but was really interested in watching

Later on, they help out with basic horse care if free time permits

Yuu: Wow this school really has whole-ass horses on campus? Silver: Silver: As opposed to??? Half-ass horses??? Yuu:

Yuu states only one 'Funny Bitch' can be in a club at a time and Silver clearly holds onto his title well

LIGHT MUSIC CLUB

HI LILIA!

If Yuu had a will for public performing this would be their club! sadly they don't so they didn't join officially.

Yuu still has their music library so they share their world's music with them a lot later on.

Not a member, but will pop in from time to time to do a jam session with them

Lilia gets her a shirt that says 'LMC #1 FAN' on the back as a gift

SPELL DRIVE CLUB

Another sport club that was interesting, but not something they'd do

Only goes to the games if dragged there by the other firsties but is an aggressive fan for Epel

Kepting asking Leona dumb questions because he was trying to sleep DURING TRYOUTS

Yuu likes the concept of Spell Drive, just doesn't have the care to really play or watch it

Has told Epel he should hit someone with his broom though

SCIENCE CLUB

Trey says 'No' with a smile

He's not TRYING to kill Yuu's budding passion for magical sciences, he's TRYING to protect the masses from the bioweapon they're probably gonna make on accident

Rook was so excited, he wanted Yuu to join the club so badly

Trey knows Yuu will either make something that will actually kill someone or would drink something they're not supposed to on accident and die.

Yuu was not allowed to join the science club UnU

MOUNTAIN LOVERS CLUB

Honestly, feels so bad for Jade. Dude's clearly got a passion for his hobby and wants to share it with others

But also "Jade are you actually confused why no one wants to join your club and be alone with you in the fucking woods?????"

Not too excited for all the hiking the club seems to be (Interest is peaked at the opportunity to pet a bear though)

Promised Jade if they didn't find a club to join by the end of the day, they'd circle back and join his club

"I'm friends with your brother, you can't make me disappear that easily" "We'll see~"

FILM RESEARCH CLUB

What are you researching????

Honestly, the whole time just asked Vil questions in an attempt to frustrate him and point out how the club was a THEATER CLUB more than a Film Research club

Ends up joining because they ARE a theater club kid and is more than willing to take on the backstage work; that's their favorite part!

Does end up being known as having infamously bad movie tastes and ended up traumatizing the whole club via trying to prove a point to Vil by sharing a movie from their world

OFFICIAL MEMBER OF THE FILM RESEARCH CLUB~!

GARGOYLE RESEARCH SOCIETY

Didn't know Malleus even had a club until he told her that night

Malleus didn't know the club fair was that day

Yuu shared their pint of depression ice cream with him while he pouted

Compromised in simply joining him on his walks or letting him info dump about a new gargoyle he found or his favored styles

Yuu will walk around abandoned areas themselves sometimes and take pictures to show Malleus to ask if he knows the gargoyle or not

[fluentisonus]

Hello, sorry if you’ve already said this before, but where are you finding your folk songs? like a specific book or website? (i’m always looking to expand my collection and i have never heard of long lankin before)

thanks in advance :D

Hey!!

So originally I just got folk songs from ones I heard growing up, because my dad was fond of folk music & played me a number of bands I'm still fond of. A lot of ones I come across now are still basically from rabbit holes of songs I fell down with these.

However! If you're looking for more thorough catalogues of folk songs, the main ones you come across are:

Child Ballads -- These are only ballads. They were collected by Francis James Child in the 19th century, and they're all numbered, so if you've seen songs mentioned as like "Child 93" that's why, especially because a lot of these songs don't have consistent names. They're primarily collected in his 5 Volume book The English and Scottish Popular Ballads (Vol. 1, Vol. 2, Vol. 3, Vol. 4, Vol. 5), linked there to where you can read it for free. The great thing about these is it will list all the variations of the songs he found as well as where he found them, with a little scholarly discussion of the song and its history on each. As someone that loves like. the process of transmission & the context of songs this is very appealing to me personally. It is old fashioned in its scholarship etc though.

Roud Folk Song Index -- This is a Much larger more modern index of songs: for comparison there are only 305 child ballads, whereas the Roud Index has nearly 25,000 songs (including all the Child ones). These also have numbers, so you'll often see something like "Child 93; Roud 6" where they overlap, or "Roud 2989" where they don't. Obviously because it's so big there's no book for them all, and likewise not as much commentary on individual songs. You can search them by number here, or by subject (!!!) here. The fact that this index exists is really cool, and especially that you can search it like that, although sometimes I find it a bit hard to get what I want, or have it layed out as clearly as in Child, I think just because it's so big.

This isn't really a major index like Child and Roud so you won't get it cited anywhere, but Mainly Norfolk is an index of folk songs mainly focusing on more modern recordings of the songs and their different variations. So for example you'll get a page for a songs and it'll tell you all the bands that have recorded it, and the differences in their lyrics, and what they said about the song on the back of the CD, etc. Which is fun for me particularly because I'm often accessing them through having listened to modern recordings and I'm curious about that.

You can also find various collections of broadsides and things (Roud includes a lot of broadsides I believe but if you want to look at them specifically), one of my favorites is the Bodleian Libraries online collection, which even has images of a lot of them I believe. This is fun if you like print sources.

And then a lot of these I'm just searching in Youtube as well, haha. You never know what old man recording a song he heard from his grandmother with 10 views and 2 likes you might find.

I hope this was helpful & answered the question! I will say I don't have any sort of expertise in this, it's entirely based on me just fooling around, so if anyone more knowledgeable than me has anything to add or any corrections to make feel free!

[resetting37]

The shows and franchises of Evelow

@darby-draws asked

I was recently thinking about some of my OCs being more fantasy nerdy vs scifi nerdy and it got me thinking about what type of genres and media your main OCs might like? for one, just in general scifi shows or horror movies or long fantasy books. But I was also thinking, with your own world its not as easy to say they the big obvious genre staples like LOTR or Star Trek for example... but does your world have similar Really Popular things like that.

Things like: Is there a really long running tv series thats had multiple iterations, like star trek that any of your OCs grew up with and have Big Opinions on? Fantasy epic multiple movies 3 hours each to tell the story? Would any of your OCs enjoy binging that over a long weekend for fun?

Thank you for the question !! I was going to make more faux posters of some shows that could exist in Evelow, but I'd rather just go ahead and talk about the topic. More could come in the future, we'll see. I'll also add in the character opinions. (sorry in advance if this gets long.)

So Evelow doesn't have the huge library of stories that we have. Mostly due to limitations, as Evelow's shows and movies are filmed in Evelow, and though it's a big civilization, it's not quite the same scope our present day world has. They'll have maybe one or two blockbusters a year, while most movies are indie or low budget. TV shows, however, are given more budget. Though there's not really enough on the screen for characters to be too picky in their genres, so I'll just present some vague ones.

Here are some popular shows/franchises:

Paranormal Paradise

Brother and Sister duo are on a secret unit that deal with the unexplained or the paranormal, as the title suggests. Pair that with sunsets and synth wave music, and you have a show that's currently on their third season.

This one is fairly popular with Evelonians. Out of my ocs, Kat thinks it's fun and while she's "team Una" (the name of the sister character), she finds the monsters designs the best part of the show. Cora thinks she's ridiculous, as she's "definitely team Kotori" (the brother.)

Kat eventually gets Morgan into it, but Morgan isn't the least bit interested in the "fandom" aspects, like head canons or introducing more recurring characters.

The show isn't really considered nerdy, but it's a popular one.

Feast of Legacies

This one is older in relevance to the current timeline, probably aired when my characters were kids and thus has more impact. (though probably not "age appropriate", kids still liked the fun outfits and action scenes) It was a dark fantasy show about a barbaric bounty hunter that was super campy and violent.

Future spin offs have since grew with the times or made things more serious, and those can be popular too. Ivar has even acted in one of the movies too, as a nod to his arena persona lol. Characters from the show come up a lot in halloween costumes and cosplays.

Morgan and Advik probably rewatch this one again as adults. "It still holds up, guys !"

•

I don't think space stories take up a lot of space (haha) in Evelow's culture, though there are some given that there are always going to be people fascinated by it, even if we don't know much !

They have a popular anthology show called "Planetary Politics" where each season involves a different planet and a story arc surrounding a different group of characters. The show can be experimental, with many seasons involving people in makeup and costumes, even a season fully animated (sorry they couldn't find any people who could successfully play the part of space jellyfish)

Advik and Ian used to watch this show together all the time, but since then Audrey has also taken a liking to it.

•

There's a good amount of horror movies roaming around Evelow, I'd say one of the biggest franchises is Tartar-us (Though the first movie that was released many years ago was called 'Under Deck')

It's campy, it's gory, and a staple in every horror enthusiast's library (except for the esteemed ones who think this franchise should have died a long time ago.)

here's Zack arguing to Ian it's the greatest movie of all time.

(though looking at this makes me realize that outer space play enough of a role in pop culture to be featured in spinoffs in movies such as the 'pirates' franchise for kids.)

•

I want to give my characters at least one more fantasy genre to have in their world, but I'll come up with more ideas later. I also feel like I've barely answered the original question ??? So I'll at least do that with my main cast

Audrey didn't grow up with movies unless they were brought over from other cities. Her town of Dile mostly had theatre and books. She liked heroes journeys, or stories with fantastical elements.

Advik loves both fantasy and sci fi. I'd say he likes fantasy more since he's much pickier about his sci fi. (He doesn't like stuff that tries to play it like it could happen in the world. I think HE'D be one of the few people really into space stuff.)

Katsumi likes more grounded stories. She doesn't care about world building if the character writing is bad. She loves style, but not if it's devoid of anything else. Also, if she has to see inaccurate costume design one more time, she swears...

Zack prefers sci fi over fantasy, since the former leaves room for potential horror elements. (since that's his actual favorite genre.)

Avery prefers fantasy over sci fi, since the stories tend to be more conventional and the costume designs are better. (She's much less picky than Kat in that department.)

"What's the difference, they're all movies" - Morgan. (She hates labeling things into genres.)

[jiangshinigami]

Y'know thinking about it, was there any lore reason for Emma and Noah to get a special battle stage when they entered the library? Or even really context wise?

Like, Love Town is a big boss fight, the most powerful opponents of Urban Plague, Philip developed ego, meaning he was experiencing extreme emotions which obviously affects the library, and reflects in the crying children when it's all broken down.

But Emma and Noah? They're just kinda silly guys, they're just chilling. When they make their way to the library they have a friendly little chat with Angela, from my understanding their emotions aren't really too intense in the moment.

I'm pretty sure in one of the realization dialogues (I've only done them recently, but my memory still isn't the best) it's said that the reason the library will sometimes change and become a reflection of the outside world is due to the strong emotions of powerful guests.

Again, before this point, Tomerry was very strong (and had been around for, like, 100's or 1000's of years), and Philip was developing ego, but Emma and Noah, while still powerful, aren't too substantial (atleast from my perspective) and they aren't exactly feeling intense emotions, but they still get a special stage/background.

Apart of this may be me completely underestimating Emma and Noah, while I don't see them as much of a challenging fight, they could very well still have been intended to be a boss by project moon, and actually, the special boss music and background supports that, in a way.

But still, there's also the context of what emotions they're feeling, why the library is being affected to change it's layout? Project Moon doesn't typically just do things because it would be cool or interesting without reason in there games, especially if it would conflict with the lore. Almost anything that happens gameplay wise also has a lore reason, either big or small.

This could just be making stuff up here, but they worked with their smaller art budget with Lobotomy Corp by making it apart of the lore that you're looking through everything though a cognitive filter (I don't know this for sure though, it's just a guess about the more stylised art and generally simpler look for lobotomy corp, and the much lower budget at the time. As far as I know they could have had that planned at the start and just went with the simpler style because of the cognition filter), your resets in L corp are one of the biggest parts of the story, they won't do stuff if it doesn't make sense.

But ofcourse, that's not to say it can't make sense for Emma and Noah, or that it doesn't, it could be possible that due to the 8 o'clock circus being a distortion, and Emma and Noah being affected by the distortion, it directly affected the library, like earlier, Philip's ego affected the library, and so did the crying children. Those examples are both tied to the direct source of those ego/distortion, meaning there's a large amount of emotion connected to them, whereas Emma and Noah have just been affected by a distortion, it's still possible.

One last thing, this isn't meant to be taken too seriously. Ofcourse, it's still a serious question and thought, but it's not a criticism of the game. Instead, it's more something to think about, having fun thinking about the lore and reasons why things happen.

Along with that, I still haven't finished the game, and I could very well end up with an answer later, and even if I don't, it's not necessary. Getting upset over a small detail like this would be nitpicking, in my opinion.

[cartrunkent]

Favorite Musical #10: Shrek

Shrek- If you asked my friends and the people closest to me, they would say Shrek had to be my number one. ...but it's just a solid show. Yes, I love it. Yes, it checks my boxes it's about being yourself and it's based on a book. It's also got some great music and wonderful characters.

My past with this one is...You have to understand, I do not like the Shrek movie because it's a "buddy movie." Shrek 2 is my jam because it's an ensemble piece (Same with Toy Story and Toy Story 2.) My parents joined me on a trip to NYC with one of the companies I was working for at the time. We split for a lot of the three days we were there, but we went to see Shrek together. Dad loved Shrek and it was in mom's wheelhouse. It was the perfect choice. (Mom was a little more religious and liked things more family friendly...though, turns out she liked the recording for Book of Mormon...but that's for a different time.)...

...Anyway, we went to see Shrek and my parents loved it. I did too. We all went in blind. No one knew the music or the show before we saw it. It was completely unknown outside of the source material and it was a blast. This was a great adaptation.

The ending of the first act, "Who I'd Be" ranks up there with Les Miserables for me as one of the best first act closers.

Photo Below: From the Broadway Production.

It really wasn't on my list to do anything with because it was too big a show for me to tackle. When an opportunity arose, I was poked by enough people that I agreed to direct it and was given the chance. It took a little magic to shift it into something that really worked for me and we did it, adjusting the concept to being that the show took place during story time at a library... and it all just creatively sprouted from there.

My cast was brilliant and a good core group of us grew a bond that is envied in my community. My "Shrek Kids" and I still have a group chat that has been active for the better part of 6 years (honestly this week is the 6th year anniversary of the opening of our run.) I love those guys and I love what we did. Our "Who I'd Be" was spectacular and I'd put it up against the Broadway cast. Truth.

Photo Below: From the Broadway Production.

I've seen Shrek at one high school. My high school is considering it in the next few years. ...Tragically, I saw the "New" tour in 2024 and it was anger inducing.

I get that they wanted to go back and re-evaluate some of the jokes particularly in regard to the Big Bad Wolf and some of the "transvestite" references... BUT They went too far in absolutely shredding the character of Farquaad. The direction of the production was a disaster and just not creatively sound. In the venue I saw it, the sound was actively bad and so loud I had to cover my ears at many points. I don't have issues with tours, I actually like them and think they are on par with Broadway shows more often than not. ...but this tour was crap. I learned it's a non-equity tour and the cast is upset about it and what they're doing but they're stuck. I feel bad for them, because it looks bad, sounds bad, is bad....and I encourage everyone to pass on it. (The tickets for me were more expensive than seeing Titanic or Water for Elephants or Moulin Rouge or Book of Mormon... all on Broadway.)

Photo Below: From the West End Production.

Anyway, end on a happy note: I do love Shrek: The Musical. It's an important show in my life. My relationship with it isn't over and the friendships I've gained because of it are a miracle for me. It's also the last Broadway show I saw with my mom (the only one I've seen with my Dad,) So Shrek holds an important place in my heart. But...it's still 10.

My favorite song is More to the Story...which was cut but is on the original recording as a bonus track.

Favorite #10: Shrek

Favorite #9: Passing Strange

Favorite #8: Finding Neverland

Favorite #7: Titanic

Favorite #6: Seussical: The Musical

Favorite #5: Man of La Mancha

Favorite #4: Jekyll and Hyde

Favorite #3: Jane Eyre

Favorite #2: A Gentlemen's Guide to Love and Murder

Favorite #1: Assassins