#my muses at u lately
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on tonight's episode of "is the muse low or am i just too anxious to write them!!!"
#✧ 𝐈𝐒𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 ╱ ooc : hestia speaks.#IT'S THE SECOND OPTION DING DING DING!!!#it's so late i should go to sleep#but like.... yeah theres sm muse si want to write more of#but my brain is like 'no u can't#and im like damn okay u win anxiety
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experimenting HHHRRRMMMM.......
#thank u zayphod for being my muse lately#character design#creature design#original character#oc#my oc#sindrakart#zayphod
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/ I never ended up writing him
#;ooc#ooc#LIL FREAK (affectionate)#late night thoughts that haunt me-#im a little embarassed when it comes to following peeps bc of my 489574 blogs but!! if anyone ever wants to write with an L#i'll pull my L on ur table ASAP#i should make something like a- request list; bc i have muses scattered on their own blogs rather than a single multi; which I should but-#THE AESTHETICS-#anyways did u know that he lit gets inside a washing machine and that's how he cleans himself?#im not joking it is a thing for real
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stares into glass of choccy milk
forcing personal relatability onto a muse in lieu of dynamic characterization or development will inevitably enshitten every character you write.
#me n some friends are reflecting on an ex partner and it's hitting me what a major malfunction i keep seeing is.#ie sb plays like 5 muses but they're all variations on the same core idea. from high school student to serial killer psychologist.#from unhinged vigilante to token morality pet kid.#idk i feel like 'write what you know' has taken a weird turn of late in that 'the more this character reflects me the better they are'#which... no offense i could love u irl but i don't want my muses to just play w variants of you as the mun.#out of stories#ok crawls into drafts n asks again
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it's kinda crazy how little time it's felt like there's been since 2020. it's like immeasurable to me to think of how much has happened between then and now
#being personal on main lol but i went through a really extensive period of trauma and abuse from 2019-2021#getting out of it and living my life since then has been an incredible blessing#but its crazy how your brain processes trauma. i find it so difficult to move on from things now#like ive had my current job nearly 3 years and its been pretty terrible recently#but its kind of all ive known since escaping my situation so i feel like its been a lifeline. one thats definitely extended its stay lol#i wish it was easier to talk about the effects of trauma with my friends and close coworkers.#not the actual trauma itself but the aftershocks#my brain is an entirely different organism than it was in 2019 before all of it#just musing thoughts into the void bc ive been pretty depressed lately and im trying to get out of it. its been better by day but damn#thx for reading if u did. makes it all feel a little less lonely#<333
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Sometimes I ponder the idea of going back to a single blog, like,, not in the sense of leaving my currently active multi behind, or Gil behind, but like, that craving of having a new muse, that has their own space,, it feel like I haven't have that in some time already (and to those who know me, it's nothing unusual to find 844738382 blogs following u which are all mine OTJRPRJTRK)
#;ooc#ooc#late night thoughts after a long day#like i really crave connections and dynamics but sometimes i feel like on my end as the multi blog; i might be making it difficult to othe-#and mainly;;; single muse aesthetics and reblogging memes and knowing that the muse u chose will be the one receiving prompts all the time#aOASUUREJTJJTK#i just feel a bit lonely lately; trying to not let that squeeze under my door but; y know! the usual ; would someone remember this blog#if i went on hiatus? or does someone get excited whem i reply? i wonder about my writting too; is it really conveying the feelings i want#to put out there?#like; to this day i still remember this k.arna rper; gosh their voice for k.arna was spectacular; they arent on the rpc anymore as far as#im aware of; but ill lways remember them as the cool karna blog#or my friend squiwe and their unpredictable Bartholomew roberts! always a delight#to this day i still think k about old blogs now left to the wind and taking a peek atthem and goinf#wowowoajwkwoaokwaww this person wrote their character in such awesome way!!!#i wonder if any of my muses left something behind#that would be great#ok its late im gping to bed but apologues for the typos
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#negativity#ish#(( So I've kind of had a hellish week so far#mental health-wise#and despite trying/wanting to be active on here I am just a bit emotionally exhausted and drained ))#(( I had a v bad nervous breakdown yesterday and I'm still recovering a little ))#(( and I was wondering if I could get a little positivity on here ;u;?))#(( life stuff aside--I've been feeling a little down about my muses and writing lately and idk ))#(( I know when my brain is telling me lies but at the same time knowing that doesn't always make me feel better ))
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laira schmitt, with love, always. / emily berry, the numbers game / p.d / unknown / cowboyvamp
#was this worth the amount of time i put into it trying to find sources? no#did i have to remove a lot of the quotes i wanted in here bc i couldn't find most of the sources? yes#did i include one unknown anyway bc that quote was the one that got me going? yes i did#am i posting it anyway? yeah ig why not#been thinking a lot about byan's childhood recently and part of it is bc spacy-#well. bc spacy. bc of course it was spacy.#but specifically bc she got me thinking about byan finally getting some revenge on even just one of the people who hurt them and i just#i've been spiralling thinking about it since then#i don't think you're SUPPOSED to weave one quote throughout the whole thing but u know what idc this is my blog#honestly this might not even be fully coherent i can't tell anymore bc i've been staring at it for too long#anyway. dinner and then i'll see about some actual writing now that this is finally out of my head#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ musings ⋮ cowards only come through when the hour's late.
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ferre makes aesthetics ( 1 / ??? ): kang rian gaya
heiress (n.) one. a woman inheriting and continuing the legacy of a predecessor. two. a woman who is legally entitled to the property or rank of another on that person's death.
( photos do not belong to me. credit for oc goes to @geaesaekki! )
#( ferre makes aesthetics. )#geaesaekki#geaesaekki ( gaya. )#LYNNIE!! I KNOW THIS IS LATE ON MY END#but also more importantly....#TODAY'S YOUR BIRTHDAY#HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR FRIENDO!!!! i was dying this past week from a bad cold and then stomach pains#BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO MISS OUT ON THIS :'DDDD#so pls take this aesthetic board as a presento <3#i was gonna do quinn originally...but then i figured you get a lot of aesthetic thingys for her already#so why not do the muse u have LOTS inspo for at the moment <3#( one day one of my muses that isn't aeri gonna get into gaya's inner circle.... ONE DAY :'D )#i hope i was able to capture her vibes....i did peek at her pinboard for inspo too <3#BUT AGAIN HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF THE COOLEST PPL IN THE RPC#SERIOUSLY THE WAY YOU BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER AND LIKE JUST GIVE SO MUCH ENERGY TO THE RPC AND TO MY DASH IS IMMACULATE#u're stuck with me now <3#i hope today was a wonderful day for you and here's to many many more!!!
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me whenever friends ask me for a dynamics
#;ooc#ooc#politely offering u one (1) blorbo#which is a lie; i give u 8475684756784 blorbos#all for the low cost of ur muse's energy and patience#endless;;;#tho lately i do prefer to focusing on one at a time ; i mean u can always request other muses later OF COURSE!#its just that its easier for my peanut brain sometimes
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the audrey hype train isn't slowing down any time soon i think (she's got a DEATH GRIP on me rn) but also.... i am thinking about my total-opposite-end-of-the-spectrum muse raoule.... i want to make graphics and promos to show him off but like..... graphic design hard :( image hard :( but if no image then no ability to promote him on dash anyway yeah i'm just thinking about my fucked up, wretched little muse and rattling the bars of my cage. and this is the part where i've got to warn that raoule is not a muse for the squeamish or for minors, but if i can interest you in a decadent, trans aristocrat who's into art and bdsm, i mean.... hmu <3
#literally not the vibe u all are following me for AT ALL. but .... what can i say? i've got the range!#raoule comes from an obscure 19th century novel with no adaptations so i can never expose people to him!!#gotta make all the content my damn self :(((#i was up late last night talking about raoule things with @polarean who writes his wife so my mind is FULL OF THOUGHTS#and these vibes are not easily reconciled back into a Soft muse like audrey. so. problems...#alas. i wallow. i listen to my raoule playlist. i continue to not be productive with replies.#ooc;;
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okay but my favourite thing about my longstanding ships/ship partners or even just my longstanding writing partners on this blog is that a friend can yell at me five years down the line about a ship or dynamic we used to write and we can just pick right up where we left off ? i know a lot of people like to be super enthusiastic about their ships and muses and so do i, of course, but i am also the sort of person who is perfectly happy to put them on pause or leave them for years at a time. every single ship i've ever had in my near nine years of writing jack has its own tag, even ones that i haven't even had a chance to write on this new (three year old) blog lmao. they will always be treasured, and i really am the luckiest when it comes to the friends i have made on here that occasionally they circle back and i get to write them again 💕
#&. don’t ever insult captain jack sparrow in front of me ( ooc. )#this is brought to you by the fact that old friends of mine keep popping up both here and in my discord lately#plus the friends of mine i see returning to old muses 👀#i see u and i love u#anyway yes this week ? i am maybe working on a queue for when i am on holiday next week for my bday#i cannot decide whether to queue some things for while i am away or just post things immediately lmao so
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finishes replies and runs off
#out of candy : ooc .#ngl i have not been feeling too good in here lately#just a bit unhappy and uncertain w my muses in general ig#and insecurities#bc brain stupid#but anyways#at least i did all replies i owed & some were posted n some q#but its all done#so imma go uh do smth else rn#if anyone is reading these tags still i hope u are doing well <3#and that everyones having a good day/night
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thinking about utahimes forehead...
#ooc.#just kidding im thinking of her scar. how unique and interesting of me.#describing it as not a “cataclysmic” event but just something she ended up carrying with her work....#it ruined me in a way it shouldnt#esp with how scars are viewed on women. whatever it was didnt have to be so permanent but it did and it cost her more than it should#even tho contrary to the scar she definitely won that fight. ik its obvious but it needs to be said!#oh to write an analysis on each of my jjk muses and their relation w/ the hierarchy of power and patriarchy#that is in the world...the traditions and how they digest them (or completely disregard them)#utahime seems contradictory. i can definitely see her be that positive influence for the girls she teaches. shes definitely not someone#to explain the shit way the world works and convinces the younger gen to just take it bc thats how its always been.#but also?? to wear the traditional miko attire??? its smthn thats dear to her. whether its thru personal means or for the sake of#upholding familial traditions. which. to carry something that has existed before u were ever imagined. before ur parents were.#that is smthn so strong and intimate so she holds specific traditions close (maybe her own family. not necessarily jjk society as a whole?#but then again i doubt her family is exempt from its prejudice..)#wtf was my main point.#she strives to better the next generation. but shes already stuck in this mold. her role was crafted for her and she is still#trying to break herself out.#those are my late night uta thoughts i might change this entire view later on but i wanted to focus on. um. not maki for two seconds..#can u believe that?? not focus on maki.....unbelievable of me.#its a battle to keep the life of tradition alive and pick apart the mold that has spread over time#oh the experience of living in such a culturally vibrant style that the lines blur. what is what and who do i believe#HER TECHNIQUE BEING A RITUAL DANCE FUCKCFUCKCUFKC
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#how is it possible that i keep forgetting the email to this account when i changed the specifically so that I WOULDNT forget man I've been#trying for months again CBAAAAAAA b#anyways lately i've been reading fanfiction again (of a disclosed fandom dont ask)#and i'm like#hyperfixated on wanting to try to write again#but i have no idea how rp-ing works anymore lmao#idk where i am w my muse#i should read through some of my older writings i suppose#and idk who is still around#how to start#i need to change my theme up a bit...#remake many things...#OVERWHELMING but yet exciting#i will start working on it !#SEE U GUYS SOON (hopefully lmfao)#( ❛ ooc * )
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//so i'm considering switching from colten to austin..but keeping a similar vibes ( & possibly plots too)..thoughts 🧐
#dhq.ooc#// like i love my boy i do..but my muse for him has slowly been a huuuuge struggle lately..😫#u
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