#my muse living out my dreams fr

[strwberrimilktea]

Howl Pendragon (Howl’s Moving Castle) inspired outfit! 🌞 for type A and type B hehe ( ⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝ )੭⁾⁾

[mbakuetshurisprincess]

The Garden

AN: Okay wow did not expect to have this many people like the sneak peek of this fic so THANK YOU! I’ve had this account since 2018 so to anyone whose been here since then, I commend you, my writing was pretty bad back then LMAO! This is literally the longest fic I’ve ever written so that's cool. I super enjoyed this Shuri and would love to write more versions of her in the future. If you have any requests, my asks are on. If not just dm me fr fr, i love inspo. Player!Shuri may or may not be in the works, so yeah. And in all honesty I don’t know what the timing of this one is within the MCU.

Summary: Princess Shuri requests your company on a trip to “The Garden”, a secret area the two of you created as teens. 

Pairing: Shuri x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of drug use (weed), kissing.

Word count: 3,635

Suggested listening: Nothing Even Matters by Lauren Hill ft. D'Angelo 

The soft buzzing of your kimoyo beads stirred you out of the deep sleep you were in. When the buzzing didn’t wake you immediately, the sensation was turned up and the vibration shook your wrist. You knew there was only one person who could engineer your kimoyo beads to function like that: Shuri.

Knowing that she wouldn’t stop her assault on your wrist, you sat up in bed and answered her call. 

“Oh Y/N, good you’re finally awake!” Shuri stated with a slick smile as her holographic body shot up from the beads. 

“When did you even have time to do that, Shuri? I’m with you always and you make sure I never take this off.” You mused as you rubbed some sleep out of your eyes. 

“That’s not for you to worry about!” She flashed that smile at you again and you felt the familiar tug at your heart. 

You loved her smile. It was one of your favorite things about her, and she knew it. Whenever she needed something from you like a model to test out new adaptations for the Dora Milaje’s gear or begging you to spend the night with her even though your room was less than 10 steps from hers. She would flash that smile and instantly get whatever she wanted from you.  

She caught wind of the way you were looking at her and sent a wink your way. “Since you're awake, may I come in?” 

“I don’t know why you insist on asking, especially when you know I never say no.” You said through a yawn. You got up out of bed and walked over to the door peeking through the wall that led to Shuri’s room. 

The two of you had lived like this since you were young teens. Your mother served as Queen Ramonda’s personal guard, hand-picked by King T’Chaka until her accidental death during a routine training drill that you unfortunately witnessed. Your father, grief-struck, took his own life and it left you without anyone else in the world.

 Queen Ramonda decided that for your mental health it was best to maintain as much of the reality that you knew and so at 16, you moved in with the royal family. Getting a bedroom built right next to Shuri’s that connected via a doorway. It worked out because you and Princess Shuri were already close friends; having spent childhood running around the palace walls and pestering the cooks for sweets. And spent most of adolescence obsessing over American culture and new trends together.  

You and T’Challa quickly formed a sibling dynamic similar to the one he had with Shuri and he felt just as protective of you as he did of her. Your dynamic with Shuri, that was different. As young girls you both valued and enjoyed each other's company, it was often regarded that if you saw one of you, the other had to be close behind. 

It wasn’t until you moved in, that the nightmares started. Reliving the memory of your mother's death every night in your dreams left you screaming in your sleep, loud enough for even Queen Mother to hear it from her chambers. But before she could get there, she always found Shuri comforting you. She could still remember the first time she found the two of you like that. 

Shuri was sitting on the edge of your bed calmly speaking to you as she stroked your cheek gently. “It’s me Y/N, it's Shuri. You’re okay, you’re safe, I’m here.” The two of you couldn’t have been but 17 and 16. 

When you awoke and tears sprung from your eyes, Shuri just pulled you into her and soothed you as she gently rubbed your back. When Queen Mother returned to her chambers she awoke her husband and told him that there was no need to worry about who Shuri would end up with and that Bast had been kind and blessed them with two daughters. 

Now at 21 and 20, the Queen's words seemed to ring ever true. While neither of you claimed to be in a relationship, everyone in the palace (and in all of Wakanda for that matter) knew that it was more than platonic love shared between you two. Shuri had never courted anyone and neither had you, and nobody ever questioned it. You knew many people lusted after Princess Shuri but you never questioned where her loyalties lay. You were the one who was with her when she learned of her father's death and you supported her throughout the entire mourning process as you both grieved. You were each other's person no doubt about it. 

Shuri hung up the call and walked into your bedroom, flopping right onto your bed. You chuckled as she snuggled deep within your covers, it was normal for her to do that, and expected that you would join her.

You scrolled through the notifications on your kimoyo beads much to Shuri’s dismay as you heard her kiss her teeth. One of her signals that she wasn’t getting the attention from you that she wanted. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” You murmured as you walked towards your bed and sat down on the edge. Your tiny brown sleep shorts and matching cami shirt gave Shuri the perfect view of your back. She admired the two dimples in your back that sat just above your ass and the way that your curves fit your body just right. Her eyes trailed up your back, and your curly hair was pulled up into a pineapple for maximum convenience while you slept, giving Shuri a view of your neck. She couldn’t stand you being so close to her and not touching so she wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you back into her. 

You took the hint, got under the covers, and finally laid on your back staring straight up at the ceiling. Shuri’s hand snaked down to find yours and interlaced your fingers in hers. Bringing them to her mouth so she could kiss your hand. 

“So, what did you have planned for today, my princess?” You asked with a light giggle as she peppered kisses all over your hand. 

“I was thinking,” She said once she had finished “That we go over to the garden and spend the day there today.” She turned to face you anticipating your response. 

You turned your head to face her and shot her a “Are you crazy?” look. 

The garden was a secret project you, but mostly Shuri had started when you were in your final years of school. After watching the Young and Wild and Free music video, the two of you decided it couldn’t be that hard to grow your own weed here in Wakanda. You tested it all inside of a small house that had once belonged to the gardener but had been long abandoned. It only took a few months and the two of you had grown enough to harvest and test. 

And test you did!

Being both of your first times the effects were immediate and apparent, but both of you enjoyed the mood it put you in. Shuri enjoyed how it allowed you to open up to her and her the same to you, many of your most vulnerable conversations were held in the garden. For a year the two of you spent damn near every weekend sneaking off into the garden to light up and talk before going on a movie marathon. 

Years later and the tradition had faded. You knew Shuri still maintained the garden and used it occasionally but you only went out there when Shuri dragged you out. The last time was over a month ago and it ended with the two of you being questioned for a long time by T’Challa, insisting that of course, you two were not high. The conversation ended with T’Challa saying that the two of you were terrible liars, which only led to a giggle fit ensuing. 

“Do you not remember the last time?” You demanded with a roll of your eyes “What if we get caught by Queen Mother this time?” 

Shuri laughed “We are grown! Mother can only say so much, we are our own people sthandwa!” 

You let out a groan in response, she knew how much you loved when she called you that. 

“Come on, you know you want to come to hang out and relax with me. Do it for your princess.” She commanded with her same trademark smile. 

“Fine! But Shuri, I’m not helping you roll anything! You have to do all the work since you want it so badly.” You retorted as you stood up from the bed. You walked over to your closet and looked for something to wear. 

“I don’t even know why you would say that, you never roll anyway.” Shuri spoke quietly to herself with a small laugh.

“What did you say?” You called from inside the closet.

“Nothing sthandwa! Get dressed!” She called back with a smirk.

You decided on one of Shuri’s oversized hoodies (that fit you more like a normal hoodie) with a black skin-tight shirt, a pair of black leggings, and a small cross-body bag that held your film camera to wear. So the two of you started your walk down the back palace steps towards the garden. As you walked you admired Shuri’s outfit. She had recently become a fan of American tracksuits so today she wore gray sweatpants with a matching gray zip-up jacket. Under the jacket, she wore a form-fitting t-shirt that accentuated her slender slightly muscular figure. Her short curly hair was styled up as normal and you admired how this new haircut suited her face so well. 

She looked edible. 

As you two approached the small garden house, Shuri broke the comfortable silence that had developed. 

“I’ve made some new improvements to our little getaway, I hope you like them sthandwa.” Shuri held open the door for you and you walked in. 

Where once the walls were lined with movie posters and American logos from companies like Pringles, KFC, and Budweiser; they’re now covered with album sleeves from the two of your favorite records. Covers from Stevie Wonder, Lauryn Hill, and Gregory Porter all the way to recent favorites like Noname, Mavi, and Frank Ocean. You walked deeper into the room and noticed where bean bags and a couch that had seen better days once sat, a new couch (big enough to be mistaken for a bed) and a hammock installed into the ceiling now resided. 

You had regarded on your last trip that the place had started to remind you of your joined teen years and Shuri being the girl she was decided that meant it was time for a rebrand.

“Shuriiii!!!!” You gushed “This is too much! When did you have the time to do all of this!?” You ran into her open arms and squeezed her tightly. Shuri smiled and wrapped her arms around you.

You pulled your head off her chest to look up at her as she spoke. “I wanted it to be a space for us again and we don’t have to just smoke here either. I moved all of the plants downstairs and created a new filtration system so it will never smell like smoke and-”

You cut her off by placing a kiss on her lips. She moved her hands to cup your face trying to deepen the kiss. She loved the taste of your lips, the way they parted to let hers in, the way your tongue always battled with hers for dominance knowing it was never a battle you were going to win. 

You pulled away from the kiss, a deep red color staining your chocolate skin, she made you blush every time she kissed you and it made her proud to see how breathless she left you. 

“Thank you Shuri, I really mean it.”

“You kiss me like that again, we’re not going to leave here for days.” Shuri mused as she quickly swiped her thumb across your plump bottom lip. Your deep brown eyes caught hers and her gaze held you there like that as she looked down upon you with enamored eyes.

 You pulled your bottom lip into your mouth and bit it lightly. You hated the way Shuri could get you like this so easily. With just a few words or a persistent look, you turned to putty in her hands. Shuri however adored you like this, the way you were so drunk on lust that you listened to every word she said and followed her directions with little pushback. 

You tried to turn away and break eye contact but Shuri caught your chin before you could move. She placed a delicate kiss on your lips before speaking.

“Go sit on the couch, make yourself at home. I’m going to get everything ready, you can connect to the speakers via bluetooth; the name is Y/N.” She let go of your face and left you standing there speechless as she started rummaging through drawers looking for the materials she needed. 

“Damn you Shuri.” You thought as you walked over to the square-shaped couch, pulled off your bag, took out your camera, and plopped down making yourself comfortable. You pulled up the bluetooth settings and clicked connect on the one named after you. You kicked your slippers off and tucked your feet underneath you as you figured out what album to pick. You settled instead on the “To Y/N, with love” playlist, the playlist she had made for you years ago that still received monthly updates. 

Shuri chuckled as the sounds of Nothing Even Matters by Lauryn Hill rang out through the speakers. She knew how much you loved music when she made you the playlist but hadn’t anticipated how much you would listen to the playlist. When you first noticed she had updated it, you nearly fell out; loving all the new music she added. 

“You’re still listening to this old thing?” Shuri asked as she plopped down next to you, she held in her hands a rolling tray, a lighter, and two mason jars filled with herbs and weed respectively, a joint tucked between her lips. 

You just hummed along to the words and smiled as you sang to her. 

“Now the skies could fall. Not even if my boss should call. The world it seems so very small-” 

She finished the line for you. 

“Cause nothing even matters, at all. See nothing even matters.”

She took the joint from between her lips and handed it to you. You took it and after examining it for a second you placed it between your lips. Shuri leaned over into your personal space and sparked the lighter bringing it up to the joint and lighting it. You gazed at Shuri through the fire and felt a similar feeling inside of your gut as the two of you made eye contact. You pulled in deeply, allowing the smoke that was invading your mouth to travel directly to your lungs. Shuri pulled the lighter away when she was sure the joint would stay lit but didn’t break eye contact. You couldn’t handle the way she was looking at you, desire plain across her face so you pulled away as you removed the joint from your mouth, turned your head away, and exhaled. Releasing all the smoke in your lungs.

This caused Shuri to smirk, you were always so innocent, she could read you like a book. The way your thighs squeezed together when she held her hand on them for too long or the way you could never hold eye contact. She knew what she did to you and was fully planning to keep it up. 

Shuri pulled a paper out of the pack she had and started opening the mason jars that contained her herbs. A comfortable silence had developed between the two of you, as you hit the joint and you both hummed along to Montego Bae by Noname. Shuri was the first to break the silence. 

“One of your children asked me when me and you were going to be “princesses together?” when I stopped down to visit yesterday.” 

You looked over at Shuri and let out a large laugh “What?” 

You knew generally what Shuri was referring to; the orphanage that you volunteered in part-time was located just outside of the palace walls. Queen Mother thought it best for you to have something to occupy your time since Shuri spent large chunks of time in her lab and time away from each other was the key to a healthy relationship. The idea to work in the orphanage came to you after you spent the afternoon with the children, taking photos for the local newspaper. You came that first day and had never left; it made you feel good to help the children, knowing Queen Mother was the only reason you didn’t end up there. 

“Mhm.” Shuri nodded, you noticed her hands that were beginning the careful process of rolling. This part always made you admire Shuri, her attention to detail and meticulous technique was a work of art. She looked so beautiful concentrating like that, you reached into your bag, grabbed your camera, and snapped a photo of her.

“It was Adah wasn't it?” You asked with a chuckle as you tucked your camera next to you. 

While Shuri didn’t visit the orphanage with you frequently, whenever she did the first person to greet her was Adah. When Shuri wasn’t there Adah normally clung to your side during your daily work and generally kept quiet; preferring to see how the other kids played than actually playing herself. But when Shuri turned up, another side of Adah came out and she shed her shy exterior. Running around, dragging Shuri to and from activities and crafts, determined to show the princess a good time. 

The whole of Wakanda was aware of your special relationship with Shuri, the children included. The difference between the two was that children didn’t have the social politeness to know not to ask about when the two of you were going to make it official, official. 

Shuri just nodded as she brought her tongue to the paper, swiping it across to dampen the paper. She knew your eyes were following her tongue but let you slide this time without a sly remark. She finished rolling the joint and placed it on the coffee table. 

You took another hit, feeling the effects of this new strain throughout your whole body before passing it to Shuri  

“I keep telling them they can’t just ask when someone’s getting married.” You said with a playful kiss of your teeth. 

Shuri took a deep pull of the joint and looked over at you. “I told her that we would be married within the next three years.”

“You said WHAT?” You shot up straight off of the couch and stood in front of Shuri. “You told my Adah we were to be married within the next three WHAT?”

Shuri simply laughed and took another hit of the joint. “I don’t see a problem with what I said sthandwa. We will be married within the next three years, no?” 

“Have the chemicals that you deal with in the lab finally knocked something lose up there??” You playfully tapped on the side of her forehead with your fingers. 

“Aht-” Shuri swatted your hand away with her free hand, and she took another hit. “I don’t get what's so wrong with what I said, we will be married within the next three years and have kids within the next five years. What's so insane about what I said?” 

“Oh, you’ve lost your GODDAMN MIND Shuri Udaku!” You threw your hands up in disbelief and turned to walk away from Shuri. 

“She must have lost it!” You thought to yourself. “Before she asks me to be her girlfriend she declares me her wife?” Truthfully you didn’t have a problem with marrying Shuri, that wasn’t the problem. But to have her declare so matter of factly without consulting you, that gave you a little bit of irritation. 

Shuri used the opportunity of your back turning slightly to her as you walked away to grab one of your arms, pulling you closer and forcing you off balance. She used her newfound leverage to pull you into her lap, putting you face to face with her. Her free hand found its way to the top of your thigh and she rubbed lightly sending butterflies throughout your body. You were used to being in this position, it was one of Shuri’s favorites. She said it gave her a perfect view of your beautiful face while still satisfying her need for physical touch.

“Do you not want to be my wife sthandwa?” Shuri asked in a sultry voice, bringing the end of the joint to your lips allowing you to take the last hit. 

You turned your head away from her to not release the smoke into her face, but even once you finished you kept your eyes from hers. It was all too much right now,  the weed, the way Shuri switched her tone of voice and her hand that was gently rubbing the top of your thigh. Too much to be able to focus on this conversation right now.  

Shuri placed the finished joint on the coffee table and grabbed your chin with her first three fingers, allowing her thumb to rest on your cheek and stroke it gently. 

“Look at me.”

You obliged her request and made eye contact with the princess, her brown eyes were low and addicting to stare at. 

“Be my wife Y/N.” 

[citrus-cactus]

There are NOT!!!!! enough posts on this webbed site talking about Antiope and Alesand. FRIENDSHIP OF THE MILLENNIUM, I am LIVING!!!!!!!!

Dark Ages issues 5 and 6 highlights (plus some very narrowly-focused musings and speculation) under the cut.

I did NOT expect two new characters (who are really only fleshed out in the last three issues) to be my favorite part of this miniseries, but here we are. This series scratched a very specific itch I’ve always had about Gargoyles regarding the “on-screen” relationships between female characters, and between these two kiddos and Sacrifice’s mentorship of Desdemona, we FINALLY made some headway into where I always wanted to be!

First of all, SHE GOT TO FLY FOR REAL!!! Congrats, Alesand, you did it. You’re living 10yo Citrus’s ultimate fantasy and I’m SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY FOR YOU! Out there living the 10th century dream, fr fr 💛💛💛

Antiope’s FACE!! Sorry, Brooklyn and Broadway, but you aren’t getting any credit apparently, bahahaha XD

Antiope always being the one to tell Alesand how to be careful in the cave (around a bunch of stuff Alesand doesn’t understand) and just generally looking out for her safety and well-being, with Alesand trusting and heeding her friend’s warnings without question 🥺 Plus, the way she tries to shield Alesand from the dragon’s view for just an instant longer with her wings to give Alesand as much of a head start as she can is such a fantastic detail 🥺🥺🥺

The way that both Brooklyn and Antiope remain (relatively) calm under pressure and are the ones to have the most common sense when trying to reason with Wyvern, plus them being the ones who shape the quintet’s exit strategy from the cave 🥺

“I swear I’ll let no harm come to, friend Alesand!” GIRL!!!!!!!!! 🥺💖😭💯

ANTIOPE IS QUICKEST TO SPEAK AND COVER THEIR TRACKS WHILE SPECIFICALLY LOOKING AT HER FRIEND, PLUS THAT LOOK IN THE LAST TWO PANELS, I’M!!!!!!!

The last speaking lines they have, second to last panel of the miniseries. I love Alesand’s exhuberance, it’s clearly not something that Antiope is used to. Their relationship dynamic is gold, A+ no notes.

~~~

Ok, so Watsonian speculation time! I know it’s foolish to hold out hope that the friendship between these two will last, as-is, until 994 (or beyond… hey, I can dream, can’t I?!?!!). Even if they were the same biological age at the time of the miniseries, this is just a snapshot in time for them, since they age at different rates (absolutely heartbreaking information that I’ve been keeping in the back of my brain this whole time, thanks I hate it). Even more heartbreaking is that we know what Robert will do, how disillusioned he is with the inhabitants of the castle by 994, and of the cracks and fissures in the human-human relationships and human-gargoyle alliance that began forming long before the day of the massacre. I have to think that Alesand’s death at some point before Episode 1 would be a huge catalyst, if not the primary motivation, for Robert’s betrayal of the castle, under the right circumstances. Assuming that is what happens, I would predict that the gargoyles do what they can to help/save her, which is why he really digs in to the “humans are not my kind” sentiment, but my latest hypothesis is that the sympathy(/lack thereof) he receives from either Prince Malcolm or Catherine/the Magus is such that the man he once was, the man who was so unwaveringly loyal to the crown, dies at the same time she does.

It’s even possible that the Archmage is directly/indirectly responsible for her death, and part of the reason he’s banished. Maybe Robbie wanted to execute him for his crimes, but Prince Malcolm refused? I don’t want that story to be told because I would be emotionally wrecked if true, but it also seems incredibly possible… not to mention a potential path for the villagers to arrive at the point where they call the gargoyles beasts and monsters to their faces. What better reason for open hatred, fear, and bigotry than the death of one of your own? :(

That, or Alesand and Antiope really do disappear to join the theater troupe Illuminati, and everyone just thinks they died. I would prefer that by a mile, but I won’t explicitly count on it (surprise me, Greg. Let them survive somehow, I double-dog dare you) ;)

~~~

A couple more wrap-up thoughts:

- I’m absolutely gobsmacked that Lex knows how to read already. Whom did he learn from?? I had previously assumed Demona was going to be the literacy vector for everyone in the clan who was interested in learning (since, iirc, word-of-God stated she taught Goliath) but clearly that’s not true! I still love that Alesand is going to learn from Lex, though. Did Brooklyn learn from him as well? 🤔

- I am absolutely not normal about widower Hudson. The last two-page spread stabbed me right in the heart.

- I feel like there’s a lot more to say about Verity, since her attitude was so very, very different from the stated origins of her clan, and none of the other gargoyles really even acknowledged Wyvern’s opinion of humans as they fended him off. Is “human problems become gargoyle problems” a philosophy that the clan had adopted decades before the alliance with Prince Malcolm that Verity was merely reminding Hudson of in Issue 1, or was it a belief that was primarily only held by herself, which became part of Hudson’s guiding principles as he was forced to carry on without her, and thus he made a conscious effort to make it part of the clan’s common culture only recently? What did “protecting the castle” mean to Hudson before there was an actual castle to protect? Their home along the cliffs? Wyvern’s cave? The rookery? Did he literally make up the saying “a gargoyle can no more stop protecting the castle than breathing the air” as the castle was being built? There are SO many little Wyvern-gargoyle-culture questions to chew on here. 🤔🤔🤔

- Looking back at the TV series, I find it interesting that Demona places such a significant amount of blame on Goliath’s leadership/philosophy specifically, when their clan throwing their lot in with humans was a decision made by Hudson during his leadership tenure. You’d think she’d have way, way more to say to him about that in hindsight… but maybe it’s yet another example of how incredibly short-sighted she can be.

[letsgetrowdy43]

🌱 hii could i please request a friends to lovers luca or rutger x reader where the reader is a musician and The Boy finds out her new song is about him 🤭🤭

𝐇𝐞'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐆��𝐲 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭

I was too lazy to make a song so I used Lizzy McAlpine's "Pancakes for Dinner" go listen to it!!

ynoffical just posted!!

liked by johnnyorlando and 48 839 others

ynoffical might have a lil smthg in the works 🤫

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adamfantilli the song better be abt me 😏

ynofficial ah yes Adamo! bbg! you’re my muse 😫

user64 my fav artist to gatekeep 🫶🏻🫶🏻

user83 is it a happy song, or a song I need to mentally prepare for babes??

rutgermcgroarty can’t wait!!

ynoffical just posted!!

Liked by mackie.samo and 82 917

ynofficial “Pancakes for Dinner” out on all platforms!!!

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user38 scream crying to it rn

liked by @ynofficial

Markestapa IM CONNECTING THE DOTS RN YN YOU GENIUS

owenpower_ K IM NOT THE ONLY ONE

user59 hopeless romantic type??

lhughes_06 you have Duker screaming crying this in the kitchen rn

ynofficial atleast someone appreciates my art

dylanduke25 HAND IN MARRIAGE RN 💍

rutgermcgroarty I’m so lost rn, it slays tho

ynofficial when are you not 🤨

rutgermcgroarty just posted!!

liked by ynmom and 12 933 others

rutgermcgroarty i wanna get stuck in your head

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user49 this is sounding like a slight confession 🧐

ynofficial supporting the new single I see :)

rutgermcgroarty smthg like that

Dylanduke25 NO I WONT HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING, YOULL SAY IT INSTEAD

edwards.73 get into it 🕴🏻

umichhockey literary genius

ynoffical just posted!!

liked by user84 and 69 927 others

ynofficial first live preformance 🌷

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user49 I’m obsessed with you

lucafantilli I think I’m in love with you 😼

ynofficial fan behaviour

jdrusk53 I think the term SLUT is more fitting

rutgermcgroarty you did amazing superstar 💛

brendan.brisson Ms. Ln you did not just write the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard abt a hockey boy did you?

ynofficial I would never do that 😀

rutgermcgroarty just posted!!

Liked by nhljets and 14 492 others

rutgermcgroarty what was that song abt?

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ynofficial pancakes??

rutgermcgroarty I don’t think so

dyalnduke25 it’s abt me

lhughes_06 keep dreaming kiddo

user38 🤨

ynoffical just posted!!

Liked by _quinnhughes and 49 108 others

ynofficial I’ll try to hide the way I feel, but I’ll just want to shout

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jackhughes I can’t keep up with the drama

mackie.samo ☕️

user74 the highway is looking really comfy rn

adamfantilli get this shit off my timeline 🙄

user48 fr

ynoffical just posted!!

Liked by leith_ross and 39 929 others

ynofficial he’s the type of guy you write songs abt

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luca.fantilli boys we lost her 😿

ynofficial you’re just jealous

rutgermcgroarty aren’t we just cute

ynofficial the cutest 🫶🏻

user60 pancake boy??

edwards.73 OH WE GOTTA CALL HIM THAT FROM NOW ON

seamuscasey26 🥹

rutgermcgroarty just posted!!

Liked by umichhockey and 18 197 others

rutgermcgroarty she writes songs abt me 😊

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edwards.73 I just know he is giggling a kicking his feet rn

g.brindle4 he so is

user38 better always be happy songs 😤

nolan_moyle I second that statement

rutgermcgroarty thanks guys ❤️

user39 ig he’s cute…

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[k--havok]

10 Songs, 10 People

Shout out to both @ceph-the-ghost-writer and @dogmomwrites for tagging me in this game!!

Rules: put your library on shuffle and post the first ten songs, then tag ten people

Fun fact: I'm a boomer when it comes to music and have never actually shuffled my library so I had to google how to do it on iTunes... I tend to listen to albums in-full and in order. Sometimes on repeat. I guess that's just the kinda person I am... doing this felt a little like sacrilege.

Living In the Storm by The Pretty Reckless

My Walden by Nightwish

Harley Darling by The Pretty Reckless

Can I Sit Next to You Girl by AC/DC

Girls by Marina and the Diamonds

Nemesis by Mikolai Stroninski (The Witcher III Wild Hunt OST)

Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown On a Bad Bet by Fall Out Boy

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs by Fall Out Boy

Ruled by Secrecy by Muse

I Want It All by Queen

I am shocked that no Disturbed on Green Day popped up cause I have all their albums haha

Gonna go ahead and soft tag @winterandwords @wynters-writings @vsnotresponding @jjm-blogspot @writerfae @writernopal @on-noon @oh-no-another-idea @starlit-hopes-and-dreams and an open tag for you.

[nulltune]

𝐭𝐨𝐩  𝟓  𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠  𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬,       share  the  top  songs  in  your  playlist  that  most  inspire / represent  your  muses  the  most.    bonus  points  if  you  include  lyrics  to  go  along  with  it.  

I.  Little Cry of the Abyss  —  sasakure.UK ft. Asako Toki

I want to be fascinated by the world where the dream continues. It's nice to meet you. The one I chased and grasped was the cruel binary system. I began to walk.  /  Even though I knew it's all in vain, I forced myself to smile. Even though I'm already hurt.  /  The reason I can't stop my tears is because my limbs hurt, they hurt. The dropped knife, I can no longer grasp it.  /  Rather than such an ending, I'd rather become bubbles and disappear, disappear...  /  Oh, such a happy dream, don't disappear! For I'm in love. The noise of such a crybaby should just disappear with the bubbles and disappear, disappear.  /  I know, I have to stand up with these feet. Both love and pain, I want to accept them all. / Oh, my feelings, please get through before the story ends. My feelings now shout out "I love you"!

( pLEASE LISTEN TO THIS WHOLE THING WITH LYRICS BECAUSE HOOOOHHGH why is it just hakuno's canon experiences in a nutshell???? this song is very obviously inspired by the little mermaid (the fairy tale motif 4 my hakuno <3) but i just feel like it captures hakuno throughout the stuff she's been through so well ;__; the parts that feel so hopeful and the parts where she feels like disappearing and the ending of accepting both the good and bad of everything, wanting to convey all of her emotions to the very end,,, just like hakuno fr. the ending is really bittersweet and just like hakuno tooo !!! this would just be so perfect as a character song for my hakuno methinks )

II.  world.execute(me);  —  Mili

If I'm a set of point, then I will give you my dimension. If I'm a circle, then I will give you my circumference ‎ /  ‎If I'm a tabby cat, then I will purr for your enjoyment. ‎If I'm the only God, then you're the proof of my existence.  /  I've studied, I've studied how to properly lo-o-ove. ‎Question me, question me, I can answer all lo-o-ove. I know the algebraic expression of lo-o-ove. Though you are free, ‎I am trapped, ‎trapped in lo-o-ove

( i saw a comment mention how execution could mean bringing something inanimate to life but also ending a life and both meanings apply to hakuno so well!! the doll that became human and lived for love, but would also die for it ^_T the song in general is very hakuno too... an artificial lifeform that is devoted to this person and yearns for a deeper connection yet is unable to do so. even the little details remind me of hakuno too! the way the "if i'm..." lines go from concepts like a set of points or a sine wave to things like an eggplant or a tabby cat make me think of hakuno's logical and rational way of thinking becoming more and more influenced by emotion... and how it's all underlined by the feelings for that special individual. no matter what form she may be, it's all about how she could make that other person happy !! )

III. Two  —  Sleeping At Last

You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat  /  Like a force to be reckoned with, a mighty ocean or a gentle kiss. I will love you with every single thing I have. Like a tidal wave, I'll make a mess. Calm waters, if that serves you best. I will love you without any strings attached  /  No, I don't want to talk about myself, tell me where it hurts. I just want to build you up, build you up 'til you're good as new, and maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too  /  I just want to love you, to love you, to love you well. I just want to learn how, somehow, to be loved myself

( this is a song based on the enneagram type 2 anddd i've never done that quiz for hakuno before, but this song really fits her!! it's kind of like a more.... Calm take on the feelings in world.execute(me); and you get a better understanding of the way hakuno works too. a big motivation reason as to why she is the way she is is because the way she validates her existence and finds the worth in herself is through others. her way of subconsciously putting others' needs above herself because that's the only way she can feel like she has any value :,) it's a really good look on hakuno's caring nature-- very selfless and sweet but it really Really borders to a self-destructive level! )

IV.  Sincerely  —  TRUE

The word "good bye" is so bitter, and "I love you" carries a distant scent. This indescribable feeling Is so frightening, but also so dear to me. / Why am I crying? What should I answer my heart? Words don't have to always be spoken, just by being there, they will only grow stronger and it makes me long for you more  /  Sadness is so cold, and "thank you" is colored with warmth. Every time I touch something formless, your voice rings deep in my heart. / I keep on living, I don’t give up, so that you can be proud of my present days.

( this is the opening for violet evergarden which i recently rewatched and i must say-- gOTDAMNG DOES IT REMIND ME OF HAKUNOO T__T it's the kind of thing hakuno deserves as a sequel after all she's been through in canon tbh!! but anyway- this just sounds to me like actual lines hakuno would have tbh... the Emotions(TM) being there but hakuno just not being able to understand it. the way she treasures all of those feelings too because they're what makes her human :,) even though she struggles to understand herself, she still values these emotions and seeks to some day understand them too. a very heartfelt song that feels very hakuno to me! the hopeful yet also a little melancholic vibes,, )

V.  Clair de Lune  —  Claude Debussy

( this is an instrumental so there's no lyrics here but oughhh THE HAKUNO VIBES from this.... i mean, "moonlight" reminding me of a moon lady is mighty obvious but i digress! the poem with the same name is very hakunocore too, with how it speaks of “au calme clair de lune triste et beau” (the still moonlight sad and lovely) and it just,, has this very ethereal kind of air to it which is how i imagine hakuno to be 🥺 but it's also very powerful and emotional which is very fitting for her who is a quiet girl on the outside but strong as iron on the inside. saw someone describe it as "a soothing song that calms your heart, like the moon's reflection on water" and that's the kind of vibes i hope hakuno has toooooo /SCREAMS )

tagged: @serpentsexile TYSM!! 🥺💞 this was rlly neat i ended up rambling so much GDKCSHKF tagging: kudos to anyone who makes it this far tbh 😳 steal it from me if u did !! but ya gotta tag mee <33

[cmdonovann]

MY BLEEDING CLOCK PLAYLIST IS LIVE

YOU CAN LISTEN TO IT ON MY WEBSITE HERE: (X)

SORRY FOR CONTINUING THE JOKE LONGER THAN APRIL FOOLS DAY BUT IM ACTUALLY HAVING A LOT OF FUN WITH THIS AU :3

tracklist under the cut:

girlfriend - avril lavigne

everytime we touch - cascada

shake it - metro station

untouched - the veronicas

i don't wanna be in love - good charlotte

thnks fr th mmrs - fall out boy

ain't it fun - paramore

tik tok - ke$ha

don't trust me - 3oh!3

bad boy - cascada

crushcrushcrush - paramore

dear maria - all time low

cross my heart - marianas trench

time bomb (acoustic) - all time low

decode - paramore

all the right moves - onerepublic

hurts like heaven - coldplay

mr brightside - the killers

sugar we're going down - fall out boy

complicated - avril lavigne

fingerprints - katy perry

airplanes (ft. hayley williams) - B.o.B

colorado sunrise - 3oh!3

till the world ends - britney spears

dj got us fallin in love - usher

we r who we r - ke$ha

michael - franz ferdinand

blackout - breathe carolina

dancing with a wolf - all time low

supermassive black hole - muse

teenagers - my chemical romance

boulevard of broken dreams - green day

bring me to life - evanescence

truth or dare - marianas trench

time is running out - muse

crawling - linkin park

anarchy my dear - say anything

blue and yellow - the used

millions - gerard way

ocean avenue - yellowcard

check yes juliet - we the kings

kryptonite - 3 doors down

weightless - all time low

away we go - coheed and cambria

gorgeous nightmare - escape the fate

going under - evanescence

over my head - the fray

the adventure - angels & airwaves

don't die digging - the graduate

ohio is for lovers - hawthorne heights

i know - placebo

be my escape - relient k

how to start a war - simon curtis

walk through hell - say anything

dance or die - family force five

girls/girls/boys - panic! at the disco

welcome to the black parade - my chemical romance

[withleeknow]

100% agree - it's all a fat marketing ploy (randomly selected albums for enha's cb had fabric samples “worn”* by the members?? *just mass-produced but the way it was marketed as such is an ick, like no-one really needs that IMO) + I saw there's a new survival show that's been launched for contestants aged *drumroll pls* 3-15 😳

when they posted this today, they 100% had us in mind w/ the hyunho bakery straight off the bat tinyurl.com/2btpa47y what is with everyone's face cards this cb? they're all looking too good for my sanity I can't keep up-

also the way that mimo and jay are the certified acts-of-service mother-chef hybrid of their groups is just asdfghjkl i would trust them with everything <3 and ik mimo is the bread-and-butter, the muse, the forever moment but your seungmin fics truly do something to me. the man just works so well with quick-witted, tension-building scenes basically an INTJ's dream

lastly sending you these cutie-patooties as a serotonin boost - tinyurl.com/mr39mtkj - i adore their dynamic <3

I lied. last swerve into 💜 territory - have you listened to jimin's muse? ๋࣭  ࣪𓍼

oh yeah i read about the survival show. hello people wtf are toddlers supposed to showcase lmao. kpop gets wilder and wilder every day i cannot comprehend anymore. how does any of this still get greenlit. we are living in the worst timeline fr

HYUNHO THIS CB 😭 i've been deprived for a minute and they said hello here you go this is a feast!! but yes i agree lol what is this face economy that everyone is serving. every day new content drops and idek where to look idek how to process anything bc everyone looks so good 😭

hehehhe i do have a lot of fun writing seungmin! i feel like writing that kind of personality comes pretty naturally to me, seriously an intj's dream lmao. and ngl you know i love hyunjin but idk honestly i have kind of a hard time writing him for some reason 😭 we're still trying to figure out how to best portray him but it is a whole Process lol

THIS WAS SO CUTE :(((( look at hyunjin's smile and his instant and enthusiastic yes! ahh my heart i love him :((((

i have listened to jimin's album yes! the visuals are fun, the music is fun, overall i like it. however nothing can beat FACE for me tho, he really popped off with that one and i don't think i've ever really moved on from it lol that was one of my top bangtan solo albums! wbu onigiri, thoughts on MUSE? 👀

[tokoyamisstuff]

could I get some petname headcanons for the pillars from Demon Slayer?

Giyu Tomioka

Not rly the romantic one tbh

Would rather just call you by your first name (or a shortened version of your name at max)

When he realizes that it means something to you, he'll try at least

But knowing this guys social skills, it'll be very cringe

Do you know the scene in Boruto where Sasuke calls his daughter his 'little peanut'? Yeah about that level of cringe

Won't understand why you're laughing

But in the end making you smile isn't a bad thing, right?

Shinobu Kochō

Y'all be thinking she showers you in words like 'my pretty butterfly' right? Wrong.

She's a bully, basically

Will find every possible way to call you an 'idiot' without actually sounding like an insult

Likes to pick on sth you're insecure about and turn it into a nickname just so you get over it

Better not make her angry she knows a lot of foul words to call you, no hard feelings tho

Calls you "Boo" and a lot of other cheesy stuff just to mess with you, but she also kinda likes those names fr

If she actually uses a proper nickname on you: Run. You have fucked up big time. "Darliiiing, come here. I'm not mad at all!"

Just has a weird kinda love language, but she sure will compliment you in other ways

Gyomei Himejima

A total drama queen

But also very romantical

Will write poems trying to describe his feelings for you, goes fully "shall I compare thee to a summers day"

Calls you stuff like "treasured angel", "precious light" and his "muse"

Isn't shy to go full monologue shall someone ever ask about you

Rengoku Kyōjurō

A big cinnamon roll

Huge amount of love for detail, puts a lot of work in his petnames and the whole relationship in general

Nicknames will be very personal

Like your favourite color or pet, or even a feature of you he adores

Yet also a little dull and blunt, so he might overdo it sometimes

For example accidentally embarass you or reveal a secret through his nickname

I could totally see him call you random stuff like "sleepyhead" or his "ember"

Shinazugawa Sanemi

This dude says the most sweetest shit with the most creepiest expression

I'd like to imagine he's a very big softie in private

Like, lying in bed while playing with your hair and just pouring his heart out about how much he loves you

Is very held back, serious and respectful with his words

Affectionately calls you "my love" or simply his "beauty"

Obviously not into PDA so in front of others he'll just call you his "partner, anyone of y'all got a problem with that?!"

Kanroji Mitsuri

Loooooooves to shower you in every single nickname there is

You'll rarely hear your own name coming out of her mouth, unless it's serious

Since she's a passionate eater will probably call you stuff like "honey" "pumpkin" "muffin" "cupcake" or "sweetiepie"

She's also a bit immature so she'll also joke around with the names sometimes

When she feels more serious or just plain happy she will call you her "darling"

Iguro Obanai

Will 100% call you his "better half" and we all know why he does🥲

Can't believe you're actually dating, totally overchallenged. Is this a dream?

So he utters sth like "holy shit" at so many occasions you already think it's your nickname lmao

Whenever you do or say sth sweet, look good or just enjoy a romantic moment together he starts cursing silently because he doesn't think he deserves it

Sometimes when you're alone he whispers something like you're his "reason to keep fighting" or his "will to live"

When he's more comfortable, his favourite nickname for you is "sunshine" since you never fail to brighten up his mood and banish the darkness in his mind☀️

Uzui Tengen

What can I say? This man knows exactly what he's doing

He loves to brag, openly calling you his "next wife/husband/partner" in front of others

Covers the whole range from "babe" to "princess", likes variety

Creates his own nicknames for you so they'll sound extra flashy

One would think he'd tell everyone how beautiful, strong etc. you are, but that doesn't need to be said.

It's a no-brainer that the most amazing man also has the most amazing partner!

[vespaer77]

Because, as we've established that our brain cells might have been separated at birth, lol, I'm gonna add to this again. Like the sugar free hazelnut creamer to your coffee. Or, something to that effect <3 And I'm sorry I'm always so long winded, y'all can tell me to shut up haha :o)

But it's important to note Gale's timeline. It's fudgy and we have a lot that's unconfirmed, but we can make some informed inferences, and there are some facts we know.

1 - Elminster, the Taylor Swift of Wizards (he's an exceptionally famous dude across Faerun), showed up on Gale's doorstep to basically say, "You're a wizard, Harry."

2 - Which honestly, is the dream of many children. A whole fantasy franchise has been built around it (and it's truly despicable author, unfortunately, but I wrote a pretty kick ass song about her and recorded it in the studio with a choir of trans/nb/gender fluid voices and it is single-handedly my best living memory). Gale's childhood has already been affected by something else that might have pushed him pretty hard in this direction: at some point he stops referring to his parents as a plural. He only talks about his mother, and no longer mentions his father. Now we don't know when he left the scene. Unlike with Wyll, as a player we're never allowed to ask him about it. He could've been older than 8 when father was gone. But we do know that Gale's last name is his mother's last name, so we could form a rational opinion or head canon around that. In any case, the loss of a parent in childhood, now matter how it happens, has a profound effect on a person. And while it is not confirmed, it is very possible Elminster showed up during an extremely vulnerable time in Gale's life.

3 - He was the youngest student at Blackstaff Academy. And while this, also, is never stated in the game, this can be put together, too, by reading about the academy out on the FR wiki pages and just... playing a wizard at a table in D&D =) How old was your lvl 1 wizard when you rolled them up? Were they 8? Probably not. The wiki really only lists a handful of children who have apprenticed at the academy over its long history, and we also have a canonical, in-game, example of a wizard who is beginning his apprenticeship: Rolan. Who is also very much not 8. And while it is not stated, one could possibly infer with full logic that a lot of the student body at the academy was significantly older than Gale. I mean, they weren't, like, 30, but the Academy is a lot like high school or university.

Not third grade.

(Or non-American equivalent, I know we break things out a little differently here, I can only speak from my own experiences.)

Gale was a child prodigy - he was incredibly intelligent and skilled (and he obviously still is - his INT score is pretty darned high lol). Composing the Weave came more easily to him than his classmates, who had likely already been studying and practicing for years before their apprenticeship at the academy was even granted. That's a really tough situation for a kid to be immersed in, even before any mention of becoming Mystra's Chosen. But it's particularly tough for a kid who may or may not be dealing with the loss of a parent, one whose support structure was so small.

4 - The year in-game is 1492, and we know that Mystra was fully reincorporated in 1487 (even though her essence was around and communicating before that). We also know, because Gale says as much, that before the events of the game (before he was snatched and tadpoled), he had been sequestered in his tower for a year. And we do know that Elminster was tasked with seeking magical prodigies and recruiting other Chosen. So from that, one could also infer that Gale's time spent with Mystra, and subsequently his relationship with her, could have spanned across four years.

He did say that first she was his mentor, then his muse, and then his lover. Even if the relationship spanned across three years, for a human that's a pretty significant relationship. There are a lot of marriages that don't last that long, haha ;o)

And while Mystra is not allowed to reduce, diminish, or take away any of his spellcasting ability, she could have removed the orb. And did not. (And I've already stated my opinion about Mystra allowing a live bomb to just... walk unchecked out into a world of innocent people, lol.) The orb, on the other hand, did what she was not allowed, and ate everything about him away from the inside. The silver fire she had given him. Seemingly, almost even, in exchange for sex. At least from his perspective.

This man sat in that tower and watched everything - *everything* - that had defined him, that he had worked so hard to achieve, that he had sacrificed his childhood and his body to have, just get devoured. Just slip away.

And if he and Tara hadn't figured out that the orb could eat the Weave from outside sources just as easily as it could eat away at him from within, he would have died.

Violently.

And he could have taken innocent victims with him.

I was lvl 2 when I pulled him from the sigil in the stone so he dinged lvl 2 when I first met him, but that's a pretty long fall.

So I guess what I'm trying to add is that absolutely yes, he is not just obsessed with his ex. He made a mistake that cost him everything. He is paying a punishment that is vastly disproportionate to the crime. But he believes the sentence is just because his goddess told him so. And how can be be a wizard if he doesn't believe her?

He is essentially that 8yr old boy again, back at square one, all alone with no support structure, trying to remember who he was before his whole life even happened. Before he was even a fully formed person. And he can't even be upset about it. Even that has been taken from him. He has to keep himself in a "glade of calm," as he calls it, because if he gets too upset or excited... boom.

(I also think this is why we start seeing such a dramatically darker shift in his character as we go from Act 2 and into Act 3 - the effects of the orb are being mitigated so he finally has a little freedom to start processing some of his feelings... as long as he can trust Mystra, who has tasked him with suicide, to keep her word.)

So when we meet him, we meet a man who has chosen to just swallow it all. To put his best smile on, and accept his penance with grace, devotion, and faith. To accept the responsibility for two people, because his goddess has tasked him thus. We meet a man who has armored himself behind smooth charm, a sharp and intelligent wit, and a thick shield of secrecy and a self-confidence that borders on arrogance.

Hell, it might be why he has abs, lol! He's beautiful! And we naturally feel things for someone who is beautiful. Ask anyone who is a fan of Kylo Ren, lol..... *sweats in Star Wars*

He is eager to ingratiate himself to us, and prove his skill and his talent. Because if he can convince us that we have some use of him, then he has some measure of value once more. And perhaps even a path forward, whereas before all he had was heartache and loss, and guilt and shame.

And solitude at the top of his tower.

So anyhoo, yeah! You are 100000% correct - he is absolutely mourning the loss of his magic. And that is a huge statement that was deserving of a little emphasis. I just think that folks who don' t get that don't have a full understanding of how very, very deeply that runs within this character.

It is his entire being.

i have established that any gale commentary or opinion that starts with he's obsessed with his ex is immediately invalid. I don't care if you or they have good points later in the commentary about his character.

If you don't have enough patience or braincells to look past him mourning his loss to mystra is actually about him mourning his loss of magic (which he has been doing for his whole life. thats like hating on an artist missing their sponsor because their sponsor left them and took all their tools with them) then I'm not giving you the same courtesy.

The audacity to comment on his character just to bash for him is getting old.

[bratxfantasy]

Tap, tap, tap.

A clawed fingertip tapped rhythmically against the dark oak table top, his other hand holding the crystal glass of bourbon to him lips. There's a subtle smile playing upon his face as he sips his drink, dark eyes following your unsuspecting figure across the room. Though it's full of people, beasts and man alike, he can pluck you from the herd easily. It's your scent, the sweet smell of lavender and honey and sin. His mouth salivates at the sight of you.

Roman sat alone at the back of the bar, hidden by poker tables and groups playing pool. There's people dancing to whatever's playing and he couldn't care less, he's just waiting for the opportunity to pounce on his prey. Your friends are here with you, however with how things are going from what he can see and hear, they'd be taking their leave soon enough.

You'd have a better time with him, he muses at the thought. Surely you'd prefer his company. Oh the things he could show you! The things he'd do to you, the mere thought of it sends a jolt of excitement through his body and shamelessly to his cock. He wanted you, and he'd do anything to have you. Anything.

Finishing off his drink, the dragon demon ran his forked tongue over his teeth, rubbing along the canines on his upper and lower jaw. Here in this place, he's free to look more like his true self; a man eating beast that entails great misfortune to anyone who crosses his path. A Barynoke, a special breed of demon known to transform into terrifying dragons.

There's more to his appearance, but for now hr wished to keep a lower profile. No antlers, no tail, the scales under his skin itched to surface but like a good hunter, he stayed in the shadows. In all honesty, this isn't how he usually is. He's a master of deceit, an alluring monster with a silver tongue. He promises sweet release, he promises heaven only to show true hell.

It's delicious, the flavor of pain and fear. He revels in the screams and cries, many falling victim to his charm and beauty. Even so, he watches, waiting. Just as he thought, your friends began to leave one by one, leaving you by your lonesome at the bar. You're likely filled with enough booze to accept anyone's advances, and that would not do. He sits still, shrouded in the shadows cast from the over head light not too far away.

Eventually you gather your things clumsily, slowly making your way to the door and outside. Such a dumb little human you are. You're lucky to know his world, not many humans can handle such knowledge of things far beyond their understanding. You're lucky you haven't been swept away by a Fae, he snorts at the thought, standing and not bothering to leave behind any cash for his drink.

A hunter stalking his prey, he makes his way after you, being sure to keep his presence concealed. You're fumbling through your bag, cursing about your phone as you wobble through the alley. The smell of garbage and piss greets his nose like an unwelcomed guest, making his nostrils flare in disgust but he couldn't afford to lose you.

Within an instant he was on you, arms caging you in and a hand slapping over your mouth. Despite your struggling he squeezed, managing to press his lips to your ear to whisper a simple spell that made you suddenly go limp against him. "Oh my sweet, sweet treat," he hummed, shifting you in his arms so he could look at your face," what shall I do with you first, hmm?" He grinned, a wicked cheshire smile.

———

Shoving the front door to his home— rather hid lair— open with his foot, he held your unconscious form closely to him. If only you'd been awake to marvel at his magnificent true form, the beast that carried you off so easily through the air without a worry in the world. You're light as a feather to him, a mere speck in this meek world and yet you shine unlike most of the pitiful, fleshy mundane beings he's encountered. He still has yet to figure out what mskes you do special, but for now he has you and that is all that matters.

Moving you to dangle over his shoulder to free one of his arms he made his way up the stairs to one of the many rooms of the manor. He already had it prepared just for you. This us where you'd be living from now on as his pet, his darling little Brittany. Such a good girl you are, he chuckles knowing full well it's a lie. You have spirit, a spiteful tongue he'd so enjoy cutting from your mouth— however he decided he'd prefer it where it is.

Lying you down on the bed he moved you onto your back, adjusting your arms above your head to each bed post. Chains wait patiently to be locked around your wrists, finding home snug against your fair skin. Locking them and stowing away the key into his pocket he pulled the thick comforter up over you legs but paused, eyeing how your little dress rose up your thighs.

Dropping the blanket his hands glide over thr plush fat of your thighs, pushing up the fabric to expose your panties. Licking his lips, Roman purred as his fingertips dipped under the waistband to slide them off. Pulling your underwear down your legs he held them up and admired the lace. It was like you knew he would come for you, such a naughty little minx. The demon covered you back up, finishing what he was doing before stuffing your panties into his pocket.

Surely you've noticed a few missing from your laundry as of late, more so the dirty than clean. He's been inside your home on numerous occasions, studying your things and gathering as much information his immortal brain could absord. Now he had you, and he's never letting you go.

"See you in the morning, little one." He smiled and gently touched your face with a knuckle, pushing your hair from your sleeping face.

— Roman

Hi sweetie, thanks for giving my character a test drive ;) Hope you enjoy the sweet, sweet torture 💗 no but fr, Ily lmao you're a doll

My slumber was far from pleasant. Nightmares upon nightmares lingered throughout the night. Any moment I thought they vanished, it was present once again that they are leaking back in.

It all started out so pleasant. I was out with my friends, drinking, and dancing. Then we went home only for me to be grabbed.

I struggled, I truly did. I used all my might to escape from his death grip only to be met with darkness. From there, all I know is hell. Fire, screams and cries of souls being taken, his evil fingertips lacing around his victims.

He looks human, but he is far from it. He’s a demon.

My eyes finally peeled open to an unknown room. Confusion struck, gazing up to see my arms are chained. A subtle breeze grazed parts of my skin that it should not have. Was I naked? Where the hell am I?

Then it hit me.

Last night was not a dream; it was real life.

Screams admitted from me, a natural response I had no control over. “Let me go, you sick bastard!” I bark, not knowing who I am even speaking to, but if they are lurking, they shall feel my wrath. The wrath of a warrior.

I refuse to go down without a fight.

I’ll never give up fighting.

Rattling my chains, I attempt to break them somehow. That was a failure all in its own, but I wanted this person to return. I had a few choice words waiting for him.

He will feel my wrath.

[duchessfics]

Business and Pleasure Part 6

(https://lauramaher25.tumblr.com/post/179156351521/ahs-billie-dean-howard-apocalypse)

Billie x Fem!Reader

Warning(s): None? Except toxic work environment?

Summary: While Billie thought that this would be a shared vacation, she soon realizes their first day in New York, that this trip is in fact a very different experience for you compared to her. And in the process of seeing you being mistreated, she also has to deal with her own feelings towards you and if this is meant to be more than friends with benefits.

Word Count: 6031

A/n: So...this is late because my first draft was deleted for some reason...I don’t wanna talk about it 😭 but I feel like I should preface this by saying that this chapter is SFW because it’s focusing on some of the emotional/feeling things that Billie and the reader have not really dealt with as much. Of course there will be more NSFW content in the future, but I hope you enjoy this change of pace.

Part 5, Business and Pleasure Masterlist

When the chirp of your alarm rings out in the dark room you nearly cry in exhaustion. Yes—you are an adult and shouldn't find yourself on the verge of tears due to only sleeping for around 4 hours. But the inclination is still there.

You try to reach out and grab your phone from the nightstand. However that's when you remember your devilish plan to charge your phone across the room so you have to get up. 

Damn your ingenuity.

The loud sound pounds through your head and fortunately the woman sleeping next to you is separate enough for you to slip out from under the covers, stagger over to your blaring phone, and turn the alarm off. Now that the room is still once more you pause and find your senses slowly perking up at the unfamiliar space.

Your toes curl into the soft cushiony carpet that is a little firmer than Billie's but still pliable and cozy. At the same time you see a crack of daylight by the curtained windows and hear the muffled sounds of morning traffic in Manhattan. Because you didn't get a good look last night you softly pad over to one of the windows that nearly expands the floor to the ceiling and part the blackout curtains just a crack to keep the room dark while peeking outside.

Amber hues with streaks of marigold and coral blend together and reflect off of the surrounding steel structures that line the streets and reach for the sky. Although the time is still early, the sun is rapidly rising and you look down to see vehicles and people the size of toys rushing around to where they are required for the day.

A soft breath from behind you gets your attention and you step back to shut the curtain once more. It takes a moment for your eyes to fully adjust to the darkened room, but your ears hear each soft breath she exhales. Like listening to a distress signal pulsating from afar.

Luckily the floor isn't cluttered with items, so you cautiously brush your hands out in front of yourself and follow her small, sleeping breaths until the tips of your fingers skim the satin duvet of your shared bed. By now your eyes are able to see the beautiful woman in front of you who still sleeps peacefully.

Because she lays on her side, Billie's face is turned towards you and you can see the slight crease between her brows and her eyes moving just the slightest bit under underneath her eyelids as she dreams. With her eyes closed, the length of her lashes is accentuated. Every part of her looks perfect. Like she’s a gift bestowed by the gods above. 

And for some reason she notices you of all people.

The sharp intake of air between her slightly parted lips startles you and she shifts while mumbling something. The noise made you jump, but you go from shock to concern when she lets out the softest whimper and her brows scrunch up. Before you can even think, you take a seat on the side of the bed and softly shush her quiet noises of anxiety and protest. 

Then your hand comes up to cup her cheek that doesn't rest on the pillow and you run your thumb up the bridge of her nose to rest in the space between her brows. The area is still crinkled in worry so you gently but firmly run the pad of your finger from the beginning of her brow to the end to smooth out the space while soothing in a voice more prominent that a whisper, but softer than regularly spoken word, “It’s ok Billie. Shh, it’s ok. I’ve got you. I’m right here. You’re safe.”

You keep up the slow movement and soft affirmation, and within a minute or two she settles back into her relaxed state and breathes deeply.

In an effort to not jar her by pulling away and exposing her to the cool air you run your fingers along the edge of her face to tuck back some of her hair near her mouth. However that is the moment you see on the nightstand alarm clock that a half hour has passed since your alarm went off. 

Shit. 

So you reluctantly withdraw from Billie retuck the covers around her and rush into the bathroom for a speedy get ready…

By 8:00 you're all dressed and ready to go. When you re-enter the main suite Billie still sleeps. So you quietly call room service and order a breakfast sampler for her and something for yourself. But the main thing you need at the moment is coffee. Luckily there's a Starbucks just around the block so you make an order on the app. Since room service said it would take 20 to 30 minutes for the food to be delivered, you run downstairs to grab the drinks while Billie continues to sleep.

Compared to last night, the streets and sidewalks bustle with activity and provide all different sorts of sights and sounds to take note of. But time is of the essence and honestly, the atmosphere will be marginally better with Billie out here with you. So you speed off to the Starbucks, wait in line, and grab Billie’s usual with your own basic iced coffee that has two extra shots of espresso. Then you do your glorified run back up to her room and arrive just as room service does.

After warning them Billie is still asleep, you open the door and let them swiftly and quietly set the plates on the small dining table in the living area of her suite. Then you help them remove the tops of the dishes and thank the staff before they leave. The delicious concoction of breakfast smells fills the room and your stomach rumbles in response. You didn't realize how hungry you are until now and your mouth waters as the decadent items of food layout before you.

“Is that breakfast I smell darling?” Billie asks from the other room. 

Her low, sleepy voice warms your insides and you reply, “Yes. I've got your coffee too.” You hear her let out a soft hum of approval and a couple minutes later the blonde enters the doorway wearing one of the hotel’s luxurious, white robes over her light coral baby doll nightgown and her hair loosely tumbles over her shoulders as she saunters over. However, before she actually sits, she comes over to where you stand and presses a soft kiss to you lips. Then she parts enough for her chocolate orbs to meet yours and murmurs, “Good morning sweetheart.”

Her intentional intimacy isn't lost on you and the feeling of her soft, petal-like lips on yours does more to wake you up than five shots of espresso could. And the way you breathe, “Good morning Billie.” tells her everything she needs to know. 

Your employer backs away to take a seat and you watch her fingers delicately curve over the top of her to-go iced latte and pick up the item to take a sip before setting it closer to her dining spot. The way she shifts to grip her fork and knife maintains your attention and as her fingers flex and curl you can't help but wonder if she uses those same movements when her digits are buried deep inside you and stroking that sensitive spongy spot in your depths. 

Jesus Christ. It's barely past eight in the morning! Get ahold of yourself.

That's when you realize Billie has slowed her movements to a stop. So you slowly lift your gaze from her hands to her face and see she looks up to you with a raised brow 

“Is something wrong?” she asks and her lips twitch in amusement. Rather than stuttering out some incoherent response like you normally do, you automatically answer, “Nope.” And sit across from her. Of course that's the moment you remember you need your binder to say the day’s itinerary. 

You’re about as smooth as sandpaper—as usual.

Rather than even trying to act suave or nonchalant you clear your throat and feel your face warming as you mutter, “I'll be right back.” Then you shoot up and rush from the entertainment room to the bedroom, snatch your binder, and run back to sit down . The medium chuckles at your behavior and looks to you with the devious grin as she inquires, “Awe do you miss being in my presence that much, dear?” Of course she would assume that.

Because you’re alone, you let yourself laugh and tease back, “Do you have a humble bone in your body?” Billie grins at the fact that you feel safe enough to tease back and playfully muses, “I do but I can't say where. I will permit a full body search by you though.” Her words make you roll your eyes and groan, “Ha ha, very funny.” But both of you know you're far from annoyed.

You both go quiet but it's not an uncomfortable silence. Instead you pause to enjoy this uncommonly ordinary moment with someone you care about. 

However, the buzzing of your phone interrupts the stillness and you break eye contact to see it's an email. At the same time you see it's twenty minutes past 8:00 and know you need to keep things moving to stay on time. So you look back to your boss and suggest, “How about I tell you today’s schedule while you finish your breakfast?” She agrees and starts to eat the warm breakfast. Meanwhile you open up your binder, flipping through numerous pages as you take a generous sip of your bitterly strong iced coffee.

By the time you set your drink back down on the table you’re on today's date and tell Billie, “Today is a less intense day. We need to be out of here by 9:30 for your photo shoot with Vogue. And that is expected to last from 10:30 to 4:00 between makeup, hair, outfit changes, set changes, lunch, and anything else. Then we'll need to be back here for your virtual PR prep meeting. It's not until 6:00 PM so I can get you dinner by calling in room service or ordering something to go. After the meeting you’re done.” 

You look up from her itinerary to see her neatly slicing the last sections of the two mini pancakes on her plate. However her movements pause when you stop speaking and she looks to you before purring with sparkling eyes, “So, we have the whole evening to ourselves?” 

Of course that's the one thing that stands out to her.

You let out a sigh and reply with a lightly admonishing tone while trying to keep from smiling, “Yes we'll have the whole evening. But first we need to get you ready and at your photo shoot.” Then you pick up your phone and open it while asking, “Do you have any special requests for them? Certain music, temperature, smells, lighting—anything at all?” 

The medium chuckles and smoothly replies, “Just my lovely assistant by my side.” Her shameless flirting prompts you to look up at her face and playfully warn, “Billie…”

However she giggles and assures, “Kidding. I can't think of anything. But thank you sweetheart.” You respond you’re welcome, set your phone to the side, and start to dig into your own breakfast. In between her final bites she asks, “What time did you get up?” Even the memory of your alarm going off so early causes you to cringe and take another generous sip of your coffee before answering, “6:30.” Billie must see the discomfort though because she nibbles her lower lip before asking, “Well, did you at least sleep well?”

Her look of concern warms your heart and you assure her with a smile, “I slept great. The bed and everything about it felt amazing.” Her eyebrow arches and lips quirk as she inquires, “And the company you kept? Was it satisfactory?” 

Just when you think you've seen Billie's peak confidence; she surpasses that level by 100! 

You clear your throat and straighten up a little before attempting to casually counter back, “I’ve had worse bed partners.”

While the comment was primarily a joke you don't miss the flicker in her darkened eyes or the way her grip on her fork tightens at the thought of someone else holding you as if she wants to snatch you close. 

However one second she shows that and the next she's back to smirking and purrs, “Well I guess I'll have to up my game then. I don't mind some competition. It only helps to show why I'm the best.”

Her words prompt your mouth to gape and you gasp, “Billie!” She grins at your shock and scoots back to stand up while innocently saying “I guess they should start getting ready then.” Meanwhile you continue to just gawk at her. 

When you don’t answer, she smiles even wider and turns to walk back into the bedroom. And as she starts to strut away your boss casually flings her hair over her shoulder while saying, “I'll be ready by 9:25. Don't miss me too much, sweetie.” And with one backward glance and a wink she's gone from your sight…

By 10:00 you have Billie set up with hair and makeup and she speaks to the head photographer about their concepts and ideas for her photoshoot. So you head off to find out about lunch for Billie. The studio space Vogue uses is larger than BuzzFeed and it takes you a moment to orientate yourself, but when you see three long tables with food warmers you are sure this is where you need to be. So you walk over to where two women who seem to be in charge stand.

Even though they face you and you are sure they see you walk up, both women still look down at the tablet one of them holds and taps on. 

Maybe they’re finishing something up. 

So you pause for a moment and watch them already sensing an air of entitlement with them. After a couple moments of watching them giggle and murmur to each other it's clear they're not on a work project. So you're clear your throat, trying to muster up your confidence, and squeak “Excuse me. I just have a small question.”

The one with beach blonde hair that looks down at the tablet but doesn't hold it lets out a dramatic sigh, looking to you, and the other with dark brown hair continues to scroll on the iPad she holds as she says, “Name.” On the inside you groan knowing it's been a while since you've had difficult clients. But you put on a smile and try to sweetly reply, “Well I don't know if it will be on there because—"

“We didn't ask for your life story. We asked for your name.” The brunette says earning a snicker from the blonde. Heat rises in your cheeks and you have to actively fight to not roll your eyes. While part of you wants to find a corner to hide in until Billie is done, you know showing weakness will make you even more of a doormat for these people to stomp over. 

So you stand taller and confidently say your first and last name. That shuts them up for a moment but after a couple of taps, both women look to you with smirks and the blonde says, “Your name isn't on here, sweetheart.” 

Sweetheart. 

The use of Billie’s name for you makes your fists clench by your sides and you return a fake smirk back before coldly replying, “it's ok. I guess I'll just tell my boss, Billie Dean Howard I couldn't get her lunch information and she'll have to come here herself since her assistant’s name somehow didn't make the list.” And you begin to walk away, relishing in how their eyes widened at those words.

After going less than five steps one of them calls out, “Wait!” and you pause before slowly turning back around. While both women still look annoyed the brunette says, “There will be a selection of soups, salads, and sandwiches for lunch that she can choose from starting at noon.” You let a sickening sweet smile curve on your lips, and you channel your own confident demeanor when you purr, “Perfect. I'll let her know.” 

As you walk away you hear one of them mutter, “Bitch.” But that only makes you smile a little more because even though they called you a name, you got what you wanted. And you can tell already today is a day to celebrate the small victories…

While you aren't allowed to be close to Billie today and get scolded when deemed so you still feel grateful to even see glimpses of her in different outfits, hairstyles, and makeup looks. The way she smiles, how she poses, and her eyes lighting up shows her true enjoyment of being photographed.

Shortly past noon you go back to the lunch table and let out a sigh of relief when the two women you spoke with earlier aren't present. However, that doesn't stop people from cutting you off in line or shoving past you like you're invisible. At first you try to assume it's innocent errors. But by the time you finish gathering her lunch you are fully annoyed at this toxic atmosphere. You're tired and just want to hideaway in the hotel. 

However, as you walk up to your boss and see her laughing and speaking with the photographer you know this is a moment to shove your feelings down. If she sees you upset, she'll know something is wrong and this is the time for her to enjoy the moment.

So you take a deep breath roll shoulders back and put on a small smile to deliver her lunch. However the blonde from earlier steps in front of you and sneers, “You can't be back here.” The unexpected run-in makes your eyebrows flatten in annoyance and you retort, “I'm giving Billie her lunch.” She looks you over for a moment before holding out her arms and groaning, “Well, just hand it to me and I'll take it to her.” 

Are you fucking kidding?! That’s so dumb! How are you not allowed to—ok, deep breaths. It’s just lunch. It’s not the end of the world. 

On one hand you want to resist and insist on taking it to her yourself. But you also don't want to cause a scene and feel too tired to fire back a response. So you hand off the items with a lowered get gaze in clenched jaw. And as you walk away and feel your shoulders slumping you remind yourself it's less than four hours left here. You can make it through the time…

By 3:30 you are on your fourth cup of coffee and Billie is getting her hair brushed out and makeup removed. After checking to make sure the coast is clear and she doesn’t speak to anyone, you rush up to her. And when you smell her sweet jasmine and vanilla scent your eyes gloss up at missing her. It's like you didn't realize how much you missed her until now that you're close and can meet her warm brown eyes and you find your voice wavering as you ask, “What would you like me to order for dinner tonight?”

Right away the mediums brows furrow at your thick voice and she asks, “Are you ok, honey?” Her concern only makes you feel more emotional, but you clear your throat and nod with the reserved smile. 

Of course that's about the time you see the two women who have been on you all day headed your way. 

Fuck. 

So you look back to Billie and practically plead in the hopes of not getting scolded again, “Or is there a certain type of food you would like?” Her eyes narrow for a split second at your behavior, however she knows you are a private person. So she tries to casually reply, “I'm…fine just ordering room service when we get back.”

In the process of her answering, your eyes briefly dart over to the women as much as you try not to. And when Billie finishes speaking you make a curt nod and quickly squeak, “Ok. And just as a reminder you have a zoom meeting with your PR manager at 6:00 tonight.” Before the blonde can even utter a thank you, you look down to your rough-looking shoes and say, “That's all . I-I'll let you finish up now.” Then you step away and try to stand tall but feel like the dirt on the bottom of someone shoe.

Billie tilts her head in confusion at your unfamiliar behavior but gets pulled back to reality when one of the head staff members rushes up while saying, “I'm terribly sorry for the interruption Miss Howard. I've been trying to explain to your assistant that she doesn't need to keep bothering you. She must be new or something.” 

That's when things start to click into place and Billie realizes how absent you've been from her today. She tries to shrug it off by saying with her usual smile, “I don't really mind she's always so...”

However her words trail off when she sees one of the staff members reprimanding you with her arms crossed across her chest and speaking loud enough for Billie to hear, 

“Who do you think you are walking around anywhere you would like? You're an assistant. So just find some little corner to do your work in and stay out of our way.” You clench your fists by your sides and open your mouth to say something back, but after reminding yourself that to some this is how assistants are and not wanting to expose your personal relationship with Billie you let out a sigh of defeat and answer with a clenched jaw and bowed head, “Fine.”

Meanwhile your boss is both horrified and furious at what just played out in front of her. Has this been going on all day? How could she let this happen?! 

Her inner rage is interrupted by the hair stylist saying, “Oh shit, did I just yank your hair too hard Miss Howard? I was trying to be gentle, but I noticed your grip on the chair arms tightened.” It’s only then she realizes her own jaw is clenched and her nails do dig into the leather of the arms. 

So she makes herself relax a little and assures them, “No you're fine, honey. I just had my mind on...other things.” However she does turn to the woman who just apologized about you and says with an icy tone, “There’s no need to apologize. I told my assistant to keep me updated on my day. Is that a problem?” 

The brunette that has held the tablet in her hands all day now has wide eyes and shakes her head while sputtering, “Well—I—no—”

“Good.” Billie cuts her off and continues in a stern tone, “If you have any problems with her, you come to me. Am I clear?” She stutters out a quick yes and another apology before running off. 

After that heated exchange, the medium flicks her fingers in her desire to have a cigarette, but she forces herself to relax as the crew finishes unpinning her hair and removing her makeup. She'll ask you about it on the way home...

You feel Billie's eyes on you as you look out the car window and fiddle with your thumbs. But you don't look to her. It's been a long day and you feel completely and utterly drained. In fact you're sure that if you closed your eyes for longer than 10 seconds you would fall asleep. 

However you do perk up a little when your employer puts up her car window. She must have thrown out her cigarette. Then she says in her warm, honey voice, “I saw you being mistreated earlier... at the photo shoot.” 

Her voice isn't the usual suave, confident tone and you look down to your lap so you can sneak a glance in her direction out of the corner of your eye.

Billie is turned to face you but stays quiet to allow space for you to speak. You keep your eyes down on your hands in your lap and respond, “It's nothing to be concerned about. Sometimes workdays are just like that. I'm more tired than anything else.” 

If it were anyone else, they would likely just say ‘ok’ and move on. But this is Billie and she knows you better than that. She lowly says your name and you finally make yourself turn your face to make direct eye contact.

There's no smug tilt of her lips or raised brow. Rather the medium’s lips curve downward, and her eyes have a warm, molasses color that you can nearly taste the sweetness of. You have rarely seen her look so distraught and once you make eye contact, she says, “I'm sorry I didn't notice earlier.”

Immediately you're filled with guilt and you shake your head. Before you’re fully conscious of it, you take her hand and give it a squeeze while reassuring “Billie you have nothing to be sorry for. Some people are difficult but at the end of the day they won't see me again and they're probably projecting their own self-consciousness onto me.”

The blonde looks down to where your hands join, and she runs her thumb over the top of your knuckles as she says “But you shouldn't have to put up with that and I'm sorry you have to. It hurts me to see you being mistreated like that because I-I—”

Love you too much. 

Billie cuts herself off before she can speak those powerful words. Where did that come from? She doesn't not love you. But is she willing to open a door that can't be shut once opened? 

That's when the medium notices your eyes rapidly scanning her face and your brows wrinkled so she clears her throat and finishes, “I- I care about you so much. Not that I don't think you can't handle tough workdays, but—you just, you deserve the best, y/n.”

Did Billie Dean Howard just stumble over her words to articulate her care for you? Yes. Yes, she did. 

You can't help but smile at her unusually vulnerable demeanor and reply, “Well I appreciate your words. That means a lot to me Billie.” You both look to each other for a moment and it finally feels like the weight of the day is starting to roll off of you. 

After a moment you break eye contact but keep your hand in hers as you pull out your phone and say, “I saw that they had a variety of pizzas on the room service menu including your favorite—meat lover’s. Would that interest you?” 

Your boss gets that familiar grin that sends butterflies to your stomach and replies with a wink, “That sounds perfect sweetheart.” You go ahead and place the order now so that there will be a hot and fresh pizza waiting for you both in her hotel room...

One meat lover’s pizza later, you are barefaced and changed into a matching set of sweatpants and sweatshirt for bed, sitting in one of the lounge chairs next to the windows overlooking the city. 

Billie still wears her clothes, sans her heels, and sits on the bed leaning back against the mountain of pillows the hotel staff so meticulously positioned back against the headboard. Her legs extend in front of her with her ankles crossed and she looks to the screen of her laptop resting on her thighs as she listens to her new PR manager.

In an effort to prevent distracting her and to keep quiet since you technically should be in ‘your room,’ you curl up with a blanket and read your book. At the same time, you halfway listen to her PR manager explaining, “Tomorrow morning at 9:00 you will be interviewed by Savannah and Hoda on the Today Show. Now that's their prime-time slot...”

Between the ambient city sounds, Billie’s soft voice when she asks a question or affirms something, and your own fatigue, as you run your eyes down the novel’s page you find your eyelids getting heavier and heavier until they can't stay open. 

Of course the medium notices you nodding off until you finally fall asleep and smiles at how hard you fought to keep your eyes open. However she also realizes she hasn't seen you crash like that since she made love to you on the kitchen counter. You're always up before her, keeping track of her even when she takes breaks, and more often than not you're asleep after she is. Yet you never complain or make a big deal out of it.

“Miss Howard? Is something wrong?” 

Brings Billie back to reality and her eyes snap back to her computer screen to see the PR manager with furrowed brows. The blonde clears her throat and her eyes flick back up to peek at your sleeping figure before she puts on her practiced smile and looks to the computer screen. “No sorry. Just worn out from the day's activities.” She responds, telling a half-truth. They smile and nod in understanding before assuring, “Well I'm just about done so I'll be quick.”

As the PR manager rambles on Billie does her best to pay attention, but they don't speak to her like you do. 

You put so much thought into your advice, watching and observing her, always taking notes about possible blind spots. And you do everything in your power to prevent those from showing up in public spaces or interviews. Whereas they give obvious suggestions. But if it gets the TV producers off of her back she'll grin and bear it. In the meantime, the blonde sneaks glances at your huddled up sleeping figure and tries to memorize every minute detail.

When the PR manager ends the video call, she shuts her laptop and you shift to get more comfortable, resulting in the book that was precariously held in your hand falling to the floor. But the noise has no effect on you except you wrap your now free arm around yourself and let out a deep sigh as you settle further into the chair.

Billie sits up and sets her laptop on the side table before uncrossing her legs and sliding off the bed. Then her slender feet pad against the luxe carpet to where you sleep. 

First she bends down to pick up your splayed out book and properly places it on the coffee table nearby. When the medium stands back up, she looks down at your serious sleeping expression. 

Without thinking one of her hands comes up to cup your cheek and she watches the corner of your lips twitch and your eyes roam beneath your closed lids. There are moments when Billie swears she can read your mind like a book. However then there are moments like now when she wishes that she could just get a glimpse of the complex galaxy of your thoughts and experiences.

As usual your skin is cool to the touch, so the warmth of her flesh against yours prompts you to nuzzle into her hand even in your sleep. Billie lets out of soft chuckle at the movement and brushes her thumb along the peak of your cheekbone in a soothing manner as she whispers, “Do you even realize how special you are y/n? You're so precious to me sweetheart. So, so precious.” 

Of course you don't hear any of that but a small smile forms on your lips at the feeling of her thumb and she's more than ready to advance from caressing your face to holding you close in bed.

So she glides the palm of her hand from the apple of your cheek, down the column of your throat, to your shoulder and gives you a small shake while murmuring, “Y/n, darling?” 

Her low, velvety voice pulls you out of your slumber and you inhale deeply, unintentionally filling your nose with her sweet scent. Then you slowly open your eyes while rasping, “Hmm?” Billie chuckles at your groggy response and moves to lightly scratch your shoulder with her smooth, rounded nails while softly suggesting, “How about we get you in bed?”

At this point you're awake enough to yawn and make a big stretch as much as your seated position will allow. But your brain is still too foggy to speak so you merely nod. 

Billie goes to take her hand away, however in your sleepy daze you reach out and take it, knitting your fingers with hers before standing up. The blonde's eyes widen at your instigated touch, but you don't notice her changed expression—too focused on gathering your blanket in your other hand. And when you do have it gathered you skip looking to her face for instruction. Rather you begin to walk and she follows suit.

Once you sit on the edge of the king-sized bed you keep ahold of Billie's hand and ask, “You're coming to bed too, right?” 

Her heart melts at the hopeful twinkle in your eyes and for a moment Billie is overcome with so much joy her eyes glass up. However she reins herself in and puts on her well-practiced smirk, attempting to effortlessly reply “After I've changed out of my clothes I will. Ok?” 

You don’t want her to leave your side. And in your state of fatigue, a little whine escapes your throat. But you reluctantly unwind your fingers from hers and answer, “Ok.” Then she helps you pull back the covers to lay down. After you’re laid back on the firm, yet pliable mattress, you let out a lethargic sigh and say in a small voice, “Billie I have a question.”

The blonde tucks the covers around you and leans down to peck your lips before replying with a smile, “Fire when ready.” 

You smile at her phrase and now that you’re all warm and cozy, your eyelids begin to feel heavy. So ask with the lowered gaze, “Could you hand me my phone so I can set my alarm please?” You force yourself to wake up enough to you look back at her chocolate brown eyes she pecks the tip of your nose before purring, “I would be happy to, honey.”

After bringing your phone over, Billie goes to the bathroom to change and you use every last ounce of your willpower to stay awake until she comes out with the same light coral negligee on that reminds you of creamsicle ice cream and her hair brushed out. 

First, she flips the lights off leaving you shrouded in darkness. You feel the duvet lift and her weight shift the mattress as she climbs into bed. And when you sense her close to you, you roll over and wrap an arm around her middle while intertwining one of your legs with hers. Only then do you mumble into the bend of her neck, “This is ok-right?”

The medium chuckles at your ability to be so bold one second and so timid the next. But her hands slide up your back to hug you close to her chest as she whispers, “This is perfect.” Thank goodness. 

You nuzzle into her silky locks, let out a contented sigh, and whisper, “Good.” Within minutes you're fast asleep in her warm, comforting embrace.

Billie listens to your deep breaths and absentmindedly strokes her fingers up and down your spine as she tries to navigate her feelings for you. However, the more she thinks about it the more her thoughts spiral out of control. So for tonight she lets the steady stream of your breaths lull her to sleep, relishing in the present moment with you in her arms and letting the future worry about itself.

Tagged:  @marilynroselleprentiss, @saviorinsilk, @chokemepaulson, @versonstar, @find-me-a-constellation, @cordwliagoode, @psychobitchtess, @midnight-lestrange, @mysweetdelia, @venablesbitch, @peachesandlesbians, @nerdaroo, @cordeliafoxxe, @leskaksel, @lovelymspaulson, @grilledcheeseandguavajelly, @whatabluddymess​, @natasha-danvers, @saucy-sapphic​, @marvelfansince08love​, @wilheminawinters​, @dontsblameme​, @mssallymckenna, @myheadmistress​

Let me know if you would like to be tagged in later works!

Part 7

[darke15]

Hello Rhymieeeeeee!!!!! 🖤 @rhymingtree

So... Into the Fray is a very reassuring title…

😬😬😬

Yaaaay more Oliver POV flashbacks!!

Yayyyyyyyyyyyy 😂

This woman was infuriating. She may have been a decent soldier on the battlefield but, off of it? She was a nightmare. 

Excuse you, decent? I'm prett sure she'd been beyond decent even before the serum. But okay, ginger snowflake. You do you.

He’s such a drama queen and i love it

“I will damage my liver whenever I feel like it.” 

Me but with coffee. Or any caffeinated beverage in general.

That’s an understatement

funny that they both kinda ruined it for each other on that day, without Ghost realizing how much a pain in the ass she was being to the single largest threat to her and her family's lives right now.

They really did 

It would have been tragic, if he’d have cared in the slightest. 

Asshat.

Maybe that should've been his codename instead of Blackhat. Though it would be too obvious that he was kissing Novak's ass in secret.

fr tho 😂

NO WHY IS PETER HANGING AROUND OLLIE??

😬😬😬

NO. WHISK HIM AWAY WHERE IT'S SAFE AND THERE AREN'T ANY EVIL REDHEADS.

No 

Oliver wants to kill all the Avengers? All of them, including the synthezoid with an Infinity Stone in his head, the Scarlet Witch, and possibly also the God of Thunder if he somehow drops by and sees this mess (which he wouldn't but what if)? If Thor comes around then he might bring Bruce back too, which... even he wouldn't come back from the Hulk I think.

He’s biting off a lot more than he can chew 😈

Wait but if that happens then Thanos happens too so nevermind. He can dream as big as he wants.

😏😏😏

Literally everyone is stressed out right now but Ghost and the Gang are all having a dandy old time, wasted as fuck and without a care in the world (temporarily)

They’re just having a grand old time

She's going to say words of wisdom again, and then I'm gonna cry and then I will yell at you inbetween random TikToks I send you.

😂😂😂

She still calls him Sebby. My fuckin' heart.

It hurted a bunch 

I miss the Sebby days, of when Duke was doing a very bad job of spying on them, and Bucky journaled in peace, and all was well.

awwwww the good times 

Oh wait I kinda did that but with Danny- never mind.

oooooffffffff

Amma hitting Ghost with a broom is something I never thought I'd see. But oh, what a sight.

The thought entertains me

I love how Ghost is being ripped apart by this right now. She's right, she can't tell Bucky, her honesty could get many people hurt. But Amma's right too, Bucky deserves to know everything too, and Amma had probably lived a life that taught her not to jump to conclusions the way Ghost is, but ghost had lived her whole life on trying to predict and evade the unknown. Would prevent be the better word to use?

It’s a whole dilemma and they’re both a little right. Ghost is probably being overly cautious but with ollie’s state of mind, anything is possible. And Amma is def right, Bucky and her friends deserve the truth and all the pitfalls that will come with it

I wish I could babble on about what I feel about this whole exchange between the two of them, but my brain is drained 🙃 I'll just yell at you when my head's straight again

Sounds good to me 

“I’m gonna tell Captain Rogers you’re flirting with Wraith’s computer code.”  “It flirted with me first.” 

He'd probably see that coming from her, though.

It’s gonna be the least surprising thing that comes from being her boyfriend 

Oh my goodness Nia's already saying bad words

Her Aunt and Uncle made sure of that 

My, my, growing up too fast

Who am I kidding I'm not that much older than her

Don’t say that, now i feel old 

“It’s a tracking program,” the girl said after a moment, earning herself a surprised look from Zac, “Isn’t it?” He sat up, glancing between Nia and Boone.  “What can I say? She takes after me,” Boone mused with a nod

That's what's worryin' me

It’s gonna be a good time

Oohhh they're gonna fight fire with fire…

The best way to fight a fire 

All he wanted was for this to be over. All he wanted was to find her and go back to normal. 

Unfortunately for you, Bucky, the writer (👀👀👀) is a bit of a sadist.

Hey 🥺

By a bit, I mean a lot.

Oh, come on 🙃

I wonder how difficult it is for Steve to watch Bucky falling apart knowing how many lies Ghost is keeping from him, knowing how different the truth actually is from what's going on.

He’s keeping it together remarkably but he’s not gonna be able to for much longer

Ooh ok Steve's tryna get Bucky to think about it a lil more

He’s tryna plant the seeds 

The sound of the rain was a staccatoed beat playing on the palm trees and roof. Puddles were forming on the ornate tile of the courtyard and the orange and pink birds of paradise stood out against the green fronds that surrounded them. A fresh breeze fluttered through the place, spreading the sweet smell of frangipani and jasmine. 

I want to go to there

Same tho 😍

Lalaphant... 😭😭

You almost got me there, Darke... you almost got me there.

😈😈😈

Had me almost shedding a tear... But it didn't work. Ha. Haha. 

 I’ll get you next time 

“Nia and Nea, huh?” You asked, smiling as Danny pressed a kiss to your temple before wrapping an arm around your shoulders, “That’ll be confusing.” 

I was too scared to say it when I heard their names so I'm just glad she said it first 😌

I knew it was gonna be confusing when i did it but i did it anyway 

DANNYYYYYY

I MISS HIM SO MUCH

Same tho, i wanna start Origins so bad

Now I wonder... if Danny ever looked at (F/N) holding baby Nea and thought of her holding their own baby....

yes. It was at that moment he knew she really was the one and started planning out their lives together 

and now I'm actually crying wtf is wrong with me

Fuck if i know. Probably the same thing that’s wrong with me

“I’d never forget you, Auntie (F/N).” 

no words just tears

Ha ha. I got ya 

I'M SORRY HOLD ON WHAT

JACK BROKE THE BED

😏😏😏

WHILE-

UM

😉😉😉

THIS IS EITHER THE FUNNIEST THING EVER OR ABSOLUTELY MORTIFYING

Hilarious to us, mortifying to duke 

How many times did they go at it until then? Bet with Jack's new... stamina, it might have been a few times…

One too many obvs 

Why of all the questions I could be asking did I ask that one oh my god what is wrong with me

🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh yay aerocell dinged

OH SHIT AEROCELL DINGED

😈😈😈

NOW HE KNOWS

He knows….he knows….

UM.... SHOULD I PANIC NOW

Give it a minute 

Oh look it's my biochemistry lesson staring back at me

hehehehehe

I'm so worried that someone who's smarter than me is going to read that chapter and see the explanation I gave you that you wrote

It’s mcu science it’s different than regular science 

Ooh they're makin' plans look at their brains go

Look at all the smoke 

well, that didn't last long... maybe I should go and re-read that chapter, just to make it last longer

Probably a good idea 

I'm actually kinda liking their new nomadic way of going about things

It’s kinda fun…means i can bring back a few more characters 

red dead redemption is once again tightening its grip on me

typical

“They know what Christopher looks like,” Boone continued, “Zac is…” “Don’t fuckin’ finish that sentence.” 

I fuckin' love him

Same tho 

Ooh it's like a stage play

It’s gonna be fun 

I love how theatrical this is all getting

Same tho 

right so this is what you meant with the storm coming... you know my favorite part was the five seconds nea and ghost spent playing in the rain. loved it. 10/10

Saaaaammeeeeeee it was cute 😌

everything is else was 10/10 too but only in a rate your pain on a scale of 1-10 kind of way.

😂😂😂

CHAPTER 81: INTO THE FRAY

To all my live reactors,

Please, please, please, hide your reactions under a Read More cut. I don’t want any spoilers floating around. 

&

To all my Anonymous Avengers, 

If you want to react in my asks, feel free. However, I won’t be answering any of them until at least Wednesday if they contain spoilers. 

Thank you,

Darke

┍━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┑

“You alright?” Amma asked, her smile fading as you relaxed back. 

“Fine.” You nodded, leaning against the broom with a sigh, “Just thinking.” 

“About?”

“The future,” you sighed, running a hand over your hair, “Things are more complicated than they were before. I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”

You paused, watching a flash of lightning break through the sky and wrapping your arm around Amma’s waist to lead her back into the wide doors of the mansion.

You watched the sky again as the clouds began to churn and the light drizzle of rain turned into something more, “Everything in me is telling me to run and never look back but…”

“You know that’s not an option,” she finished for you with a nod, brushing off her shoulders. 

“Not anymore.” 

She licked her lips, looking out onto the courtyard as another crack of thunder sounded. 

“You been runnin’ long?”

“Since I came home,” you sighed, folding your arms over your chest, “I went from being chased by soldiers and mercenaries to running from my nightmares. And when it came time to rest, I couldn’t bring myself to stop running. And now I can’t seem to stop.” 

┕━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┙

» CHAPTER 81: INTO THE FRAY

✪ Bᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ Sᴄᴀʀʀᴇᴅ : Aғᴛᴇʀᴍᴀᴛʜ

♜♠ Tʜᴇ Sᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ & Tʜᴇ Sᴘʏ

⧗ Tʜᴇ Rᴇᴅ Rᴏᴏᴍ

»Jᴏɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʀᴋᴇ sɪᴅᴇ Tᴀɢʟɪsᴛ

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***if you have a strike through your handle, it wouldn’t let me tag you 😞

[cvastals]

ok heres my 8th char * starts crying cuz im getting ahead of myself bt idc ig *

* brenton thwaites, cis man + he/him  | you know abel romanov, right? they’re twenty-seven, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, their whole life on and off? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to the system only dreams in total darkness by the national like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole ordering coffee with an ice cube because you’re too impatient to wait for it to cool, unhealthy obsession with everything being perfect, forcing on a smile so often it aches thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is december 3rd, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

background.

second child 2 senator vaughn and philanthropist adelaide who’s currently running for irving’s mayor, younger brother of cain!! the romanov’s r quite well known fr their All American n Lavish lifestyle

growing up abel worshiped cain he was the cool older sibling who cld do it all n still maintain the lifestyle he wanted/their parents expected n abel wanted nothing more than to follow in their footsteps

he tried his best to keep up, did everything cain did, but his grades were always just a bit lower, or his form was always just a bit off, he always felt second fiddle, like it was his role in life as the second child

abel ignored it the best he could for most of his life but he started to notice a different side of cain that he didn’t show their family and a side that :/ abel didn’t like or know at all that was quite vile and this was when some resentment started to form bc their parents thought of cain as their Golden Child n didnt see what was going on behind the scenes whereas abel tried his best to be genuinely good if he could help it

by his senior year of high school things were starting to look up a bit, his already rly good grades were managing to improve, he was on a bunch of social teams, and the coach was saying it was looking good for him to become captain of the soccer team by his second semester, which would look good for scholarships

bt bc i hate my muses obviously this was not going to happen?

abel was still subconsciously trying to impress his family, his siblings, the people around him, wearing himself out until he was stretched far too thin, and he paid for it with one wrong move during a soccer game that had his knee popping out of place and shattering

it was really really really bad, he was in a cast for a few months bc it needed several surgeries, obviously sports were permanently out of his future, he still walks with a limp in his right and is in need of a cane to this day

this sent abel into a really bad depressive spiral sighs that he didn’t really talk to anyone about cause he’d trained himself at that point to just keep things to himself and never reveal his emotions so that no one could catch him vulnerable or have an upper hand on him

however this was the final nudge he needed to really become his Own Person after realizing it’d gone too far and he’d gotten too bad (on medication now to regulate when he gets out of control/starts to get bad again bc it does happen from time to time)

told his parents fk ur money! n moved out of home, had a rly lovely letter of recommendation from airi’s dad that got him into medical school, started joining different teams tht he thought wld b more fun (radio, chess, etc.), starting to distance himself from his siblings a bit too (mostly out of shame)

personality.

rly started to loosen up, threw a lot of parties at the romanov summer beach house without telling his parents n would purposely act out/make more friends than he ever had trying to uphold the family image

is still . quite stiff around the edges to this day tho, thinks everything through and has like daily planners he writes down his entire days in to the Second old habits die hard its jst how he functions at this point

had another rly rly bad depressive episode when cain went missing bt like everything he does? he internalized it baybee!

is like overly nice tho he just rly struggles expressing himself/being openly emotional and vulnerable with ppl he thinks they’ll view it as weakness tho he’s a bit desperate to properly let someone in

when cain came back (will b explained in james’ bio) their parents encouraged abel to keep an eye on them n it made abel :/ another reason fr resentment in his eyes (he still loves his brother bt bc hes so bad at expressing himself he thinks hes gna make cain worse if anything)

has been with several ppl bc hes kinda desperate fr approval/fr ppl to need him so hes been quite a good bf in the past bt his incapability to properly open up has put a real Damper on things

likes to think hes in perfect control of his emotions bt explodes a lot bc hes bottled things up fr years

is in no way a Bros Bro but will blush over his shirtless guy friends sometimes then b like . awww so endearing of me i must love my friends sm<3 like jst doesn’t realize he’s Bi LKSHDGKLHSDKLG he wldnt even freak out if he found out he’s just clueless.

thts all . i can think of now ok bye<3

connections.

exes???? he wld have a Few methinks

fwb’s/past hookups/ur regular old Spice

obvs he’s never been w a guy before but i am So Desperate fr a funny/cute plot where a friend or even jst a random hits on him/Opens His Eyes and he goes wow this is all starting to make sense.

ppl he has a crush on…………. bt wld never say anything abt it . in his current Frivolously Unemotionally Emotional state

family friends/ppl he grew up with?? or ppl who knew him before he separated himself from his family a bit n knew him as a diff guy n is like ‘omg wtf lol’ now

obvs . some friends Bleathe

enemies?? ppl who he got annoyed with n jst lost it on bc it was a wrong place wrong time Situation.

thts all i can think of rn very basic bt teehee

[smalltragedy]

* natalia dyer, nonbinary + she/they | you know philomena carmichael, right? they’re twenty, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, a day? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to the leanover by life without buildings like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole wind whipping around your hair, the gentleness of decomposition, a naked blur dancing around the flames of an everlasting fire thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is april 20th, so they’re a taurus, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 22, est, they/them )

hi thank u all fr being so patient w me as i rapidly switch out muses n figure out wht the fuck im doing atm <3 also sry fr my rare presence work hs been kicking my ass like lets jst say i deserve 2 b smbdy’s housewife (misogny wins this time sry) so i nvr hv to work in my life <3 DFSLKSDHKGLFSHLKAGHLKAHLKSG this is a joke 2 clarify. anyways. this is philly she’s old bt she’s one of my very favorites ever. this intro is also old sry its nt in my usual. style. LKDFKHGLKGF

CANCER, TRAUMA, DEPERSONALIZATION / DEREALIZATION, DEATH, GRAPHIC MENTION OF DECAY, INSECTS MENTION TW.

mini playlist.

the girl who stole my tamagotchi ;; hot sugar / i dropped out ;; and the kids / pork soda ;; glass animals / wonderfully bizarre ;; bendigo fletcher / (dream) ;; salvia palth / alien blues ;; yundabar / dust in your pocket ;; glass animals / warm honey ;; willow / bela lugosi’s dead ;; bauhaus / gecgecgec ;; 100 gecs / blinding ;; florence and the machine / nantes ;; beirut / cherry-coloured funk ;; cocteau twins / not allowed ;; tv girl / oblivion ;; grimes / space song ;; beach house / dog food ;; 100 gecs / the leanover life ;; life without buildings.

statistics.

full name: philomena brontë carmichael

nickname(s): philly, phil, mena, etc.

birthday: april 20th, 2000. 

zodiac: taurus sun, scorpio moon, aries ascending.

mbti & temperament: infp & improvisor / phlegmatic. 

label: the halycon.

sexuality: demisexual.

pinterest.

biography.

a middle child belonging to christopher and imogen carmichael - two stanford professors. christopher specialized in british literature whilst imogen specialized in the classics. hence the name.

the order of siblings goes as such: lysander, elektra, juno, philomena, and twins orion & valora. the deal was that everybody had a greek (or in juno’s case, roman) first name and a middle name inspired by a piece of british literature circa 1800s and under. a family of nerds, if you will.

so, clearly - right off the bat, their parents are … eccentric. they’re both in love with their respected topic, and with each other, and with their kids. the carmichael family is a happy family.

they each have their own quirks and whatnot - though philly’s always been particularly dreamy - even as a child, she’d spend hours watching clouds or caterpillars or the leaves blow in the wind rather than play with other kids. she wasn’t a shy kid - she just had her own interests.

hardship doesn’t hit the family until philomena is five and starts having splitting headaches. they’re slow at first - but as soon as she’s seeing spots and unable to walk in a straight line, doctor appointments are made.

cancer tw // it doesn’t take long for them to discover the tumor, though the official diagnosis of malignant ependymoma comes a month later.

it’s grade ii but slow-moving, small enough to not be as much of a threat as worried, but big enough where removal is necessary. philomena earns a scar and brings it in for show-and-tell. for two months afterwards, philly’s at radiotherapy monday through friday.

they’re lucky - philomena’s considered cancer-free by the next year. she’s babied at first - handled delicately, as if she could break if touched - but with five other children … it doesn’t last for too long. end of cancer tw //

and life continues as normal.

her personality doesn’t shift much over the next few years - she’s awfully independent for a kid, and awfully quiet - when she speaks it’s about faeries and bigfoot, about how the sky is so blue and if you listen quietly, you can hear the leaves whisper their secrets to each other. this is not odd.

she’s close to all her siblings, but she idolizes her older sister - elektra. elektra’s six years older and dyes her hair whatever colors she wants. elektra bought a knife off a seedy guy downtown. elektra threw away all of her heels and renounced god. elektra is god. her music is loud but it’s not heavy - it’s florence and the machine.

they’re opposites - elektra’s boisterous and feels loudly, philomena’s softer and feels…less. when elektra sneaks out, philomena keeps watch. they are a duo.

philomena is smart - but she’s fifteen and hates school. hates sitting inside all day. hates the same routine - day after day - it’s all the same. her parents’ routine is the same, philly feels contained and she wants to live.

elektra’s twenty-one and just bought a brand new spanking (used but not falling apart) 19-something volkswagen … van - using her entire savings account. she says she’s tired of routine, she’s leaving the next day.

naturally, philomena stows away in the back and isn’t discovered until they’re two states away and she’s got to pee. elektra nearly crashes the van in shock.

it’s an argument - philomena vs. elektra, then them vs. their parents, then their parents vs. the school, the state - it’s an ordeal. philomena switches to an online program in the end.

it hurts christopher and imogen - lysander’s not having any of their nonsense, juno’s betrayed and alone - the twins are twins. in the end, it’s alright. the carmichael family is a happy family.

philomena and elektra take their time - it’s not a road trip, it’s their new life, permanently on the road. they stop and explore often - they do odd jobs in whatever town they settle in. they dine-n-dash, they shoplift. they survive in their own way.

during particularly desperate times, they two resorted to identity theft & credit fraud - getting away with it only by ditching the cards once they’ve made it out of state.

she drops out of high school officially when she’s seventeen - they have to drive all the way back to california to deal with the wrath of their parents and to deal with paperwork, but it’s done. philomena doesn’t know what path she wants in life - but it’s not that.

depersonalization / derealization tw // it’s during this time that the episodes occur - philomena’s outside her body, philomena’s wrapped in cotton, her memories are not her own. she’s looking in the mirror and she doesn’t recognize herself. they take shelter in a city for six months, long enough for her brand spankin’ new therapist to figure out what’s wrong with her. she’s diagnosed with depersonalization / derealization disorder - they think it’s stress. philomena doesn’t get stressed. they think it’s trauma. she laughs - she never laughs. depersonalization / derealization end of tw //

death, decay. maggots tw // there is trauma though, deep-rooted but somewhere inside - you just have to look for it.

you. just. have. to. look. for. it. look for it. look for it. look for it look for it look -

you were ten and she was thirteen, an off-trail hike in familiar woods in a familiar town, safe and familiar. it was your idea, to stray from the carved out paths, down creeks and up hills and round, and round again. you’re the one who spotted the scarf first, sticking up from the dirt and dancing in the wind like the beginning of reincarnation. it was not reincarnation, it was discovery. it was ruin. with curiosity drawn, you skidded down - with compliance, followed juno, followed your sister - clumsy in her steps and tumbling down quicker than you. you saw the corpse, but juno felt it. decaying flesh and maggot. end of death, decay, maggots tw //

and she left juno, just like that - just five years later, when juno had finally gone to the end of her wits. philly up and left. abandoned her.

philomena and elektra leave the city after that therapy session. they do not return. she’s always been good at hiding her secrets.

after ending up with warrants from their arrest in florida (after running from the law in texas), philly and elektra have wound up at irving <3 partially hiding from the law and partially bcos their trusty van’s broken down and they haven’t got the money to fix her up yet. 

personality & facts.

she’s quiet but she’s confident - her voice sounds like rustling leaves, if leaves smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.

often underestimated - philly’s petite and looks like she’d fall over if a plastic bag blew too close to her. she’s independent - for the most part. elektra is the only person philly takes orders from.

has always been considered odd - weird, strange. still talks about the trees as if they’re listening, as if they’re old friends. she’s vague and doesn’t elaborate on the things she says.

believes in pretty much any superstition you throw her way. luck is very important to her. if you ask her if the earth is flat, she’ll say probably. believes strongly in bigfoot and the lochness monster. has personally seen aliens, and loves ghosts almost more than herself.

she can be amusing - whether you ‘get’ her or not, her outlook is often bright - she talks about the negatives the same way she talks about the positives. can be seen as naive or gullible, but she’s plenty smart. even if half of her education has come directly from google.

philly doesn’t laugh. a smile, yes - often, in fact - not always reaching her ears, or bearing teeth - but these are not indicators of her happiness. philly is consistently content. she thinks many things are funny - she still will not laugh.

her voice is often monotonous - she doesn’t sound dreary, she sounds far-away. her voice carries. her emotions are often unknown to others.

is apathetic in most situations. she’s hard to bother - she’s incredibly patient and enjoys the company of most - tolerates them at the very least. it’s hard for her to express her emotions, because she feels them so little that it’s very nearly not worth it. her affection is not verbal - it’s small touches and gestures of kindness, love in her own way.

is a fan of knock-knock jokes and bad puns. she won’t crack a smile while telling you them, nor does she expect you to laugh. she just enjoys them.

she owns a motorola razr covered in puffy stickers - hasn’t ever had a smartphone. she’s a fan of emoticons. her favorite is :o)

has a lot of bruises and scratches and scars - she’s often getting herself into pickles. there are always, at the very minimum, three bandaids on each hand.

she has insomnia, so she’s awake often. is often seen wandering town - even when she shouldn’t be, even when it might be dangerous. her intuition is delayed. when she does sleep - her dreams are vivid and fantastical.

keeps a box of memories - sentimental bits and pieces she’s picked up over the last few years. there are a lot of buttons and postcards, but any teeny tiny object will do.

her style changes every week - most, if not all, of her clothes are thrifted. one week she’s baby spice and the next she’s lydia deetz. she combines pieces from different styles often - she looks like a barbie clothed by a child. she feels most comfortable like this.

will either patch-up the clothes that get too worn or reuse them in some way. sometimes donates the clothes she gets tired off - isn’t minimalistic, but she’s learned to keep only a small amount of possessions.

the only consistency is her lucky ribbon - it’s pastel yellow and silky and as thin as a shoelace. she ties it onto her outfit of the day, everyday. if she loses it, she’s lost. elektra has a matching ribbon.

has no problem with minor theft - she only takes bare minimum, puts herself and elektra first and that’s how it’s always been.

currently living in florence, their van, with her sister elektra <3 currently residing in lilac ridge.

they used to live in motels on the occasion, the cheapest room, and more often than not they’d both go home with strangers for a comfier bed and a hotter shower.

it was a common occurrence - she didn’t sleep with them - but somehow, she weaseled her way into their homes anyway. has come out mostly unscathed, on most occasions. this has been a practice ever since they’ve been on the road.

really, truly - has not slept with anybody, had her first kiss at thirteen with a frog. this doesn’t bother her. (smirks at leo)

will consume anything you put in front of her - isn’t picky.

listens to whatever they’ve picked up along the way but she likes instrumentals the best. her second favorite genre is 1990′s and 2000′s top hits. they’re nostalgic for her. third favorites? florence, of course. fleetwood mac. the bird and the bee.

loves storms - will go out in the rain and will risk her life for it.

owns a pair of roller-skates and is often skating rather than walking. unless she’s on grass - then she’s walking barefoot.

has many hobbies, and gets bored of them often. her favorite hobby is welding. she’s not certified.

also, juggling.

also, accordion.

the kind of girl who’ll do any job you give her. odd jobs are her favorite jobs. babysitting is her least favorite - but she does it anyway. has lost children before. have they ever been found? not by philly.

dyes her hair blonde often and cuts her own hair - bangs included - finds it cathartic, likes the itchiness of bleach.

everything she does is often in pursuit of feeling free, alive, and meaningful.

( like her frequent visits to the woods, late at night when the moon is high and full. it’s freeing to dance around a fire, stark naked in the cold. builds immunity )

comes and goes wherever she pleases, nothing & nobody can stop her (besides elektra).

has a certain knack for getting animals to like her. has too many ‘pet’ rats that reside with her, alongside a baby raccoon & a few crow pals. has a new animal companion everyday, but she doesn’t contain them or force them to stay.

wanted plots.

speaking through my third eye ... ;; philly is new in town n shes very strange. constantly lives in a state in which she does not exist (at least on the same plane). this is her harassing the locals. this is her slipping thru their fingertips as they attempt 2 understand her. they get close smtms bt philly jst. whisks herself away.

hollows of our eyelids ... ;; perhaps there is smbdy jst as strange as philly. i’m out here calling fr all the weirdos. lets be friends. lets hv philly n co go on adventures n discover horrible sites n uncover ancient secrets tht lie deep below irving. mayb nt tht. bt im jst saying. this is fr the dreamers. da weirdos. the jugheads. LHKDSHFSADLKGFHLSKADG fr those who also feel as if they r not real.

bills n aches n blues... ;; ya this is my call fr all negative plots. bills (catching philly be a thief and a fraud), aches (mayb heartache? unrecruited feelings or w/e theyre called?), n blues (ooooh so sad... so sad ... angst ...) obviously i am a genius. i wldnt say tht philly is here 2 make enemies bc philly doesnt care much abt ppl bt perhaps tht cld b an issue. tht she doesnt care much abt others. mayb ur muse is jst like. cn u pls care. n philly is like. i am incapable. sry. sucks.

n also ,, ;; like. anything i’ll. take anything. philly is weird lets come up w surreal plots tht verge on the edge of like. nt being correct fr this verse. suddenly theres vampires? or so they think ... smirks. anyways. shes been 2 jail n been in the circus (shoutout 2 kirby) n dances naked in the woods n hoards animals n treasures. we hv a lot to work with here obv. 

[officialleotolstoy]

Oh Dolokhov Brainrot We’re Really In It Now, aka Dolokhov playlist annotations!

A note on the cover photo: I don’t really like this one but I got tired of looking at men on Pinterest so I gave up. The window symbolizes the rum window and the smoking symbolizes uhhhhh habitual bad life choices idk

Drinking game take a shot every time I say “it’s about the vibes”

Wrecking Ball - Mother Mother

“I break it just because I can”

This is THEE ‘I am going to cause problems on purpose’ song and that is like his entire narrative purpose!! Argue with me about this one I dare you

The Good, The Bad, and the Dirty - Panic! At The Disco

“If you wanna start a fight you better throw the first punch, make it a good one”

Partially its just vibes, I won’t lie. But also the consistent spoiling for a fight is very in character

Shoot to Thrill - AC/DC

“I’m like evil, I get under your skin”

It’s got I Am Morally Repulsive But Also I’ll Steal Your Girl energy which really hits all of Dolokhov’s character traits. And of course the added bonus of gun imagery.

Mr. Brightside - The Killers

“It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this”

I added it strictly for vibes, but then I realized the quoted lyric is very much him @ the Kuragins if you take the reading that he refuses to admit he actually like them but grows genuinely fond of them over time even though he initially got to know them with a lot of ulterior motives.

Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

“Mama, I just killed a man”

The amount of songs that are on these playlists just for what are essentially your mom jokes since Dolokhov loves his mom so much is a little pathetic. But I’m not wrong! I can’t really put it into words but something about this song has Dolokhov energy.

Feel It Still - Portugal the Man

“Give in to that easy living, goodbye to your hopes and dreams”

A good deal of what I find interesting about Dolokhov is the internal conflict he has of knowing he’s become rather wicked and problematic but also not really trying very hard to change and almost enjoying it so a lot of the songs on here are about that, including this one. The “I’m a rebel just for kicks now” also very much screams Causing Problems On Purpose.

The Bidding - Tally Hall

“I like to take advantage of the bourgeoisie”

His whole role in volume one and two is to take advantage of the bourgeoisie! This song also oozes confidence and a sense of superiority that comes from being better than the sellouts in high society, Dolokhov’s not like other girls uwu (he really is, but I don’t think he would admit that).

Say Amen (Saturday Night) - Panic! At The Disco

“I could be better but baby it’s Saturday night”

Embracing his own wickedness! The idea that he knows he could be better than he is but he doesn’t want to take that opportunity...yeah vibes

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) - Fall Out Boy

“I became such a strange shape from trying to fit in”

This is the epitome of the “woe is me I need to be purified” phase he goes through when he’s into Sonya. Also “I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color” reminds me of Comet Dolokhov’s stupid eyeliner <3

Some Nights - fun.

“So what is this? I sold my soul for this?”

There’s a long stretch of this playlist that just boils down to “Woe is me I need to be purified” crisis hours, because Dolokhov’s oscillation between embracing his own cruelty and trying to be a good person is super interesting to me. This song captures the idea that he’s still having fun and there’s some good there, but he’s also aware that he’s losing himself a bit

Roaring 20s - Panic! At The Disco

“I don’t even know me”

“Woe is me i need to be purified” crisis AGAIN. This song gets more to the annoyance with society as a whole and feeling kind of lost in it

Send Them Off! - Bastille

“Help me exorcise my mind”

“Please purify me 16 year old girl! I’m 27 this isnt creepy at all ahahahha”. I do despise Sonyakhov but this has the vibes of a man feeling his own evil and wanting a woman to fix it. Not a great look.

Easy Days (Demo) - Bastille

“I don’t wanna fall back again, back into the easy days”

Near the end of the “woe is me I need to be purified” phase when he’s kind of drifting back to his old ways and he’s like wait no- wait- and then he does anyway because he’s horrible. I also really like the acknowledgment that his horribleness is easy and pleasant for him, and he has to fight against that (and he loses that fight HDJAJJD).

Undisclosed Desires - Muse

“You trick your lovers that you’re wicked and divine”

This is a Dolokhov/Nikolai song I do not take constructive criticism. Undisclosed desires...not being straight...lots to think about! It feels almost like a corruption arc? Nikolai isn’t corrupted nor does their...fling (?) last very long but Nikolai is obviously enamored with Dolokhov despite him being The Worst so I think this fits. I don’t have enough songs for a Nikolai/Dolokhov playlist so I just add those songs to both of their individual playlists

Thnks fr th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy

“Thanks for the memories even though they weren’t so great”

Also mostly a Nikolai/Dolokhov song. This man has never ended a relationship on good terms, huh. Also. Sighs heavily. “He tastes like you only sweeter” never fails to make me laugh when I think about it in the context of Dolokhov post-duel being like oh?? You’re just a stupid WOMAN Hélène your brother and/or Nikolai is hotter than you :/ which is not exactly what I think happened but it makes me laugh to consider. Dolokhov ur bitterrrrr

Dangerous - Royal Deluxe

“I’ll be the last man standing here, I’m not going anywhere”

I feel like this has the vibes of his cruelty, especially in that bit after the Kuragins have died when he and Petya infiltrate the French army.

Another One Bites The Dust - Queen

“There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man”

He will hurt you and kill you so violently :) It’s about the vibes.

White Wedding Pt. 1 - Billy Idol

“It’s a nice day to start again”

In the exact inverse to his “woe is me I need to be purified” phase, he’s like ok yes i will pick up bad habits again and enjoy them because frick you! I read once that this song is about a relapse into drugs, but I’m making it analogous to his relapse into Terrible Person Behavior after Sonya’s rejection. Also the repetition of the phrase little sister does something for my brain idk, after we know he loves his mom and sister it just fits.

Highway to Hell - AC/DC

“I’m on the highway to hell and I’m goin down”

Like White Wedding, it screams acceptance of his problematicness. He knows he’s cruel and evil and he revels in it. This is the phase we see him in most I think.

Back in Black - AC/DC

“It’s been too long, I’m glad to be back”

I think this plays every time he gets reinstated to an army position he lost by being reckless earlier. Just kidding sort of but listen to this song and tell me it doesn’t have Dolokhov vibes. If you do, you’re wrong <3

Poet - Bastille

“I have written you down now, you will live forever”

This is just here cause he ghostwrote Anatole’s love letters and I think it’s funny. It’s MY playlist and I get to choose the barely relevant Bastille songs

St. Jude - Florence + The Machine

“Maybe I’ve always been more comfortable in chaos”

This one’s more scattered lyrics than an overall vibe. “Each side is a loser so who cares who fired the gun” has duel energy also.

Hey Look Ma, I Made It - Panic! At The Disco

Confession: I hate this song. However, it’s about the about the MOM R U PROUD OF ME vibes (she is. Should she be? Probably not).

Rich Kids - Bea Miller

“It’s never enough for the stuck up types”

The not coming from wealth and having to almost scam your way into being part of the aristocratic scene is very Dolokhov. Also in my mind the rich kid he’s roasting is specifically Nikolai.

Money, Money, Money - ABBA

“It’s a rich man’s world”

I’m not SAYING the wealthy man they talk about is Anatole but - [i am shot]. Scheming and clawing your way up to wealth is Dolokhovcore.

This Is Gospel - Panic! At The Disco

I literally have no justification for this other than that i think modern AU Dolokhov would vibe with it. Look at the amount of eyeliner he wears in Comet and tell me he didn’t have an emo band phase. You can’t.

Trouble’s Coming - Royal Blood

This is not about the words at all, it’s more about the vibes. It just sounds Dolokhovish to me, don’t ask me to explain.

Sleep Alone - Two Door Cinema Club

“They’re just ghosts and they can’t hurt him if he can’t see them”

This gives me post-Kuragins’ death vibes, and I can’t pin down exactly why? I think it’s the idea of being very alone and closed off.

Golden Days - Panic! At The Disco

I can’t put a specific lyric to it but it’s the vibes of looking back on your hedonistic youths with nostalgia and rose-colored glasses. Post-Kuragins’ death vibes again.

Go Get Your Gun - The Dear Hunter

“One foot in the grave, the other one’s kickin’ its way right down to hell”

All we see of him after the Kuragins’ death is just him being particularly cruel and reckless, almost careless. This feels like it encapsulates that energy.

The Fallen - Franz Ferdinand

“They say you’re a troubled boy just because you like to destroy”

I’m aware that a good portion of this song is about a Christ figure but I’m going to respectfully ask you to ignore that bit and just focus on all the Sketchy Things the guy does instead. Thank you. He does in fact like to destroy things! Señor Cause Problems On Purpose back at it again at krispy kreme, huh.