#my movie reviews simply whether I laughed or cried or was surprised in the movie I guess

[sourseat]

the movies I watched on the plane in the order I watched them:

Conclave: wow! I enjoyed watching it the whole time and im glad I did not know how it would end because the surprise was extremely surprising. I liked it

Quiz Lady: bad! But I laughed out loud two times so, that’s something. Maybe I don’t like awkwafina…

The outrun: really good. I cried a little bit a few times. the seals. the scenery. My fave of this plane journey

Omni loop: this was fine I guess. I am not sure. Kinda nothing. think that was Nancy from weeds, who I do like to look at. I liked that ayo Edebiri was there. Overall it feels like it left no impression on me whatsoever

Honourable mention to the shows I watched: food feuds (two banana pie shops in the bottom floor of Katong shopping centre directly compete with each other. was actually quite interesting and a bit sad, family feud). And freestyle sport tv 25 minute episode about the world slacklining competition. People are doing some cool flips on the slack line! I love the plane

[ghostofpolaris]

Paid Deity Reading Review from @ad-astrum

This is a review I am doing out of my own will for a paid reading that was done by @ad-astrum ! I highly recommend you check Adelaide’s account out! She just is amazing. <3 Tis long so I am adding a cut-off to help. Please note that I am not being paid to say any of this and I want to be as honest as possible with this review! 

TW for: Long post, Personal Topics

To start, I (for a very long time) have been in a place where I was lost. I have had a lot of trials and tribulations in my life and where I know I have made some contact with the deities I (had) followed and worked with, I know I have not always been able to fully comprehend what is needing to be said. 

At least with these last six years, I have had so many ups and downs and quite a few times, I genuinely wondered what the point was in continuing onward with life. I had spent quite a lot of time even contemplating whether I was truly a “spiritual” person and worthy of being a witch. I hadn’t been able to keep up with my gifts I had been providing and I haven’t really done any spells. Maybe a few sigils were made here and there, but the unworthy feelings I harbored along with depression spiraling in from working 40 hours a week, being in school full time, and my mental and physical health continuing to drag me down. 

So, I got desperate as one does when left to their own devices after being paid a nice juicy paycheck and seeking answers and solidarity from others online. Though this was not the main reason I had sought for answers, it was a good portion of why. Primarily, I had noticed signs that were familiar to me, but also not. I had begun noticing crows coming in twos and occasionally threes, I noticed almost everything I turned to, would have some kind of Norse imagery or content involved, and quite a lot of it involved our beloved AllFather Odin. 

Now mind you, I NEVER saw myself as a Norse Pagan. I thought Loki and Thor were cool in the Marvel movies and myths, but I never exactly saw myself being a Norse Pagan. I also was never one for Greek Mythology and Hellenic Paganism either but here we are after receiving aid from Ares and Aphrodite a couple of times in my life. Truth be told, I was the kid that was (and still is) obsessed with the King Arthur myths and Celtic Paganism. I also was obsessed with Egyptian mythology (yes, I was the kid who had the Egyptology book growing up even though I wanted the Dragonology one but that’s okay!).

For me, I tend to be quite dense. I tend to be someone who is unable to really see signs unless they are hitting me right in the face (spiritually I have felt blocked for quite a while and if anyone has any tips for that I am down to listen not gonna lie). With all of the signs I did keep seeing though involving Odin, I knew I needed to start doing my research and find someone who could help shine a light within the darkness that was my uncertainty. Was this truly Odin I was being called to? Why? What did I need to hear?

I stumbled around and I did scroll through various sources until I crossed Adelaide’s tumblr page. I understood her focus was on Hellenism, but after speaking with her in the DM’s about doing a reading, I felt safe and comforted by the fact she was so kind, patient, and informative on what I needed. Absolutely one of the sweetest people I had met on here and I absolutely will keep following her because she is so kind and helpful. 

Like anyone who was hoping for answers, I happily paid the amount we agreed to for the details I was hopeful for. Though apologies now, but I genuinely underestimated Adelaide and her capabilities. I mean, I severely underestimated what this reading was going to be like. If you need detail, and are happy to pay her what she deserves, Adelaide will provide and she sure did.

I opened the pastebin link I had gotten and I didn’t even make it through the first paragraph without breaking down into literal tears. I wasn’t sad at all and it usually takes a lot for me to cry. I had been alone at work so far that night and it wasn’t entirely a bad day, but not exactly a good one either. It was going to be just another night where I went home and unwinded until I felt tired. 

Though this, this really just knocked me off my feet in a way I wasn’t expecting. I always was hesitant with deity readings, I have had someone scam me out of my money and just never provide what I requested and so I was almost worried it was going to happen again. I am so thankful I was wrong. 

To give a small bit of background about me, I originally had worked with Danu and Brigid. They were my first goddesses I had actually met and they both had welcomed me with open arms (though I never really understood why). That seemed to set a foundation of how my other encounters would be as I simply seemed to stumble into the contact of the deities I met and I would find every way to give them the respect they deserved. In turn, they nudged me further down the path that I now am on. 

Back to Brigid and Danu though, they were with me for at least a couple of years and both of them to me are basically like my mothers. I still hold so much love, respect and adoration for the both of them and I felt awful for even thinking, “Should I give my statue of Mother Brigid away to someone who may have more use for it than I?” I am glad I didn’t. 

Just reading that first paragraph was what did me in though and I don’t typically cry as I mentioned before. 

“ I do not believe any of these deities have truly left you “

Reading this made me realize I was silly to think that I was alone. I had spent so much time wondering why I was alone and left to try and fight by myself. I know I was doing better in life, but I knew I was starting to feel consumed by my fears of being alone. I continued onward after settling down again emotionally, but boy did the water works come back when I read,

“ For parting words, she simply said that she was pleased to have been with you and will always be around. “ 

This helped me realize that I needed to buckle up and get ready for a ride emotionally. There was a lot that would need unpacking, and I still have much to unpack from it all. 

After that paragraph, we moved onto Danu who had a similar response as Brigid. Aphrodite herself was as graceful and kind as she always has been, and I still feel I owe a lot of my progress to her as well. Without her, I would have never let go of the toxic and abusive relationships I had been in. I know personally, I should make a better attempt to reach out to her more and thank her over and over again. Ares though, I felt slightly intimidated by him, but at the same time I wasn’t entirely afraid. He just is a much quieter individual than I had expected and that is okay. From what I recall (and this reading proves it to me), he speaks when he feels it is necessary. 

Father Lucifer came next and I definitely cried again at the end of his paragraph. “ Lucifer simply said that he sees the light in you. “ That made me cry like a small child all over again and truthfully I was surprised that I had not known him since I was younger. My timing was off, but I am glad it was actually him as I felt I was not actually speaking to him at some points. 

I have much to thank him for, and I hope me even writing this will show others my love, adoration and respect I have for my deities. My deities, I cannot believe I get to say this and say it with such joy. 

Though with those fears, I just assumed I was just making my interactions up and I feel my self-doubt and mistrust of my own feelings has hindered me (even to this day) communications wise. I once again am glad to know I was so horribly wrong. 

The very last, was the most unexpected, and Papa Odin himself had just known that this reading was coming along, and he had been around the longest. Thinking about it now makes me want to cry all over again, but to me I feel this really reassured me because I know I had moments in life where I would see things involving Odin and feeling comfort in them. Internally, I would ask myself on occasion, “I wonder what it is like to just sit with him and talk. What is it like to work with him and learn from him?” 

Sure enough, here I am now laughing and almost crying at the fact that he was with me all along. I just needed to focus a bit more. I genuinely didn’t believe that I had mistaken him for The Morrigan (so sorry Papa Odin!) and yet he still took everything with good strides. I still am having trouble putting it in words how comforted and rejuvenated I feel to have this kindness, love, and support. 

For Odin himself, I cannot thank him enough for what he has done in my life so far. It makes me want to reevaluate my life and see just how many times I could have mistakenly missed him and signs he has given me. For someone who has been around for so long and has had a formative role in my life, I owe so much to him and am grateful to be blessed with his guidance and wisdom. I remembered for ages I wished I had a dad that would love and care for me and here I had Odin all along. Physically I may not be able to see him or hug him, but he was here all long and that is what matters so much to me.

At this point, Adelaide, thank you for all of this. Your words have brought me such joy, comfort, and inspiration and I had trouble thinking of how to even respond to all of this for a good bit of time. I even wondered what I needed to do at this point and I feel I have a solid idea of what I need to do now, but I just am still scrambling around to figure it all out. 

Little by little, I will walk towards my deities and I will do my very best to honor them. Thank all of you for the strength you have given me to stand back up, dust myself off, and continue on. This was what I needed to keep going and keep trying. I had made my username “mirroredpaladin” because I wanted to fight not only for the good of others, but for myself as well. It is about time I start actually doing that. 

From here on, I do want to find a way to properly and more consistently reach out to Odin, Lucifer and Ares. I want to find a way to properly thank them along with Brigid, Danu, and Aphrodite and it is about time I start looking where I can to do so. I know I need guidance, I never was properly educated on what to do with deity work, but I have to try for their sake and mine.

Thank you all for reading this. To also give some more love, I also want to thank @scarletarosa @thepastelpriestess and @its--in--the--weave​ and @blood-and-bunnies​ (I thought they had another username of @/rosegoldtunic before but I don’t remember) because these people have actually helped me get to where I am now along with Adelaide. <3

[alj4890]

Romance/Lust Prompt

(Thomas x Amanda) with the prompt: Is it weird that was a total turn on? Requested by @krsnlove

(Thomas Hunt x oc*Amanda) Choices: Red Carpet Diaries Fan Fiction taken from my story line of And Then I Met You. PB owns Thomas, no matter how many diamonds I spend on him.

A/N A little bit of NSFW...sorry temptation set in with this prompt and I was too weak to resist.

@alleksa16 @penguininapinktuxedo @blackcoffee85 @stopforamoment @fullbeaumonty @cocomaxley @darley1101 @hopefulmoonobject   @krsnlove @hopelessromantic1352 @annekebbphotography @gibbles82  @cora-nova @bella-ca @sunflowergirl05 @pixieferry @desiree-0816

Masterlist

Action

A gentle breeze blew through the palm trees on a crystal clear night while a half moon shined down on the waves lapping the shore. The weather could not have been more perfect for filming. Thomas stood before the actors that were in this paticular scene and explained what he wanted from them.

He returned to his chair and waited for everyone to be ready. He called out action and watched the scene unfold. He caught every mark met and each one missed. What he didn't notice was his wife sitting a few chairs over, closely watching him work.

Amanda had been on the sets of his movies many times before, but always in a work capacity. There were usually script rewrites or discussions of whether or not something could be changed to make a scene better. She rarely had time to observe Thomas as a director.

This time it wasn't her screenplay being filmed and she was simply along as the director's wife. Having nothing to do, she had worried she might get bored. She could not have been more wrong. Thomas held her undivided attention.

His focus was something she had admired from the moment she met him. He had such an intense passion for filmmaking. Was it weird what she was starting to feel observing him in this environment? She let her eyes drift over him, feeling the need to fan herself with the thoughts she was starting to have.

She thought he might be the sexiest man she had ever met and she had the privilege of knowing quite a few sex symbols. But there was something about tonight. Watching the man work was causing those same feelings she got when his passionate focus was centered on her.

She observed every little movement he made. He unbuttoned the sleeves of his white dress shirt and rolled them up. His muscles caused the shirt to pull taut across his back and arms, teasing her senses.

He loosened his tie and unbuttoned the first few buttons as take after take was filmed. It made her long to finish taking his shirt off. His firm lips sipped from a bottle of water. She felt a flash of heat as she thought of those lips on her body. She watched him move from his seat to once again explain what he needed from the lead actors and then bend down to look through one of the cameras while reviewing what type of shots he wanted. She admired his glutes as his pants molded over them.

He never looked her way. She found that somewhat strange. He always spoke to her about a script or some other thing he wanted her opinion on. She readjusted in her seat and crossed her legs. Her short skirt slipped past her knees with each movement, stopping midway up her thigh. The black spaghetti strap dress was perfect for the warm, humid environment they were using for the location shots.

The longer she sat there, the more times she alternated legs to cross. At one point she pulled the clip out that held her hair up and shook the heavy mass. She ran her fingers through it and pushed it over her shoulder. During a cut, she got up to stretch and went to get something to drink.

One of the supporting actors smiled and started a conversation over craft services with her and one of the grips who was grazing through the offerings. Her low laugh at a joke floated on a breeze. The three of them turned when Thomas spoke.

"Everyone go get some rest. We will meet tomorrow afternoon. Review scenes 12, 5, and 23," Thomas gathered his notes and came striding up, pausing to take Amanda's hand. She stumbled in the sand to keep up and said a goodnight to the actor and grip along with everyone they passed. The couple walked in companionable silence down the beach toward the resort they were staying in.

Amanda looked at Thomas from the corner of her eye. In the moonlight and shadows, he appeared to have an edge of tantalizing danger about him. The black stubble he could never seem to be completely without was already darkening his chin and jaw. His skin was tan from the many hours spent on the beach setting up for the evening's shoot..

His hand was warm around hers but she wanted to feel more than that. She loosened his grip and noticed a frown form until she put her arm around his waist. His arm curved around her, pulling her even more snug against his side.

He glanced down at her and continued to walk at a quick steady pace. They returned to the resort and went into their suite. Amanda leaned against the door and chewed on her lower lip. Thomas was putting his notes away in a folder and set it on an end table. He turned and walked over to her.

"I'm going to take a shower. Why don't you order us something from room service." He pressed a soft kiss to her lips. His hand had cupped her cheek and his thumb caressed the skin near her mouth. He looked down again at the cleavage displayed from her dress and stepped closer to her.

Amanda grabbed his belt loops and pulled him completely against her body. His eyebrows raised in surprise. She looked up at him while her hands moved down his back, pressing him even closer. He braced his hands against the door.

"What are you thinking?" He asked, his eyes closing with pleasure at each touch.

She unbuttoned his shirt and pressed a lingering kiss to his neck. "Something I have thought all night." Her lips trailed down his chest.

"And that is?" His voice was raspy as she unbuckled his belt.

"How just the sight of you turns me on." She let out a moan when his lips crashed down on hers. Their tongues tangled and stroked as feverish hands explored each other through their clothes.

He lifted her up and kept her pressed against the door. His forehead touched hers when she wrapped her legs around him. "Speaking of sights turning one on..." His lips brushed against hers "It was all I could do to focus on work tonight." His hands moved up and down her smooth legs. "Every time you crossed your legs, I could picture them wrapped around me."

She let out a soft moan while kissing him. “So you did notice me.” 

His hands moved up her body and tangled in her hair. "I notice everything about you. When you let your hair down, I--" He groaned when she moved against him, the sound of his deep voice laced with passion exciting her, and gently bit his neck. “Amanda."

Their lips met in a heated exchange. She broke away and let her head fall back against the door. Her eyes locked on his and her lips parted. "Thomas, I want you."

His grip on her tightened with her whispered confession. When she kissed his ear and breathlessly said how much she needed him, he lost control. His mouth touched every inch of skin that he could reach while holding her against the door. He nearly growled when he explained that she had no idea what she did to him.

Their clothes were either thrown across the room or roughly pushed out of the way as their bodies met again and again. Thomas covered her mouth with his when she cried out and held him tight to her.

They leaned against the door, legs shaking, as they tried to catch their breaths. She pulled his head down for a tender kiss. "I love your passion." She said softly with a smile.

He kissed her again. "You better." His lips traveled down her neck while his fingers skimmed over her sensitive skin. "Nothing comes close to sparking it like you."

[purplesurveys]

886

1. smiling right now? No. Does anyone sit here grinning while taking surveys? < Hahaha the visual made me laugh so I am smiling now, indeed. I don’t usually smile when taking surveys though, unless someone sent me a funny text or something.

 2. did you ever date the last person you kissed? Yeah, and that’s still going on.

 3. What’s irritating you right now? My wireless headphones are charging and I really want to use them now.

 4. when did you last eat pizza? End of Feb-ish. JM called for a meeting at 5:30 on a Friday, so to make up for it he bought three party-sized pizzas and a box of mojos for all of us. He was starving that time so that was definitely a big influence on his order which was unnecessarily too big, considering that we were only five people in the meeting.

 5. do you drink beer? Only if I really have to, otherwise I hate the taste. Some parties or social events only serve beer, so. I always have to mask the disgust on my face for every sip too, lol.

 6. what do you want? For me to stop overthinking. I can do that about everything, and it’s not fun. It’s just tiring.

7. do you have any television obsessions? Friends. Save for seasons 1 and 2, I’ve watched every episode at least a dozen times and even keep it playing on Netflix to help me fall asleep.

8. last spoken words you heard? “You ok?” My puppy was whining in his sleep so I called him and asked him that.

9. when was the last time you cried? Couple of days ago. I was watching this soldier dad surprising his kids for Christmas. Am a big sucker for dads being gone a long time and going back home their family, given that my dad has been an overseas worker for as long as I can remember.

10. is your sister a slut? She is not. Not that it would be a bad thing if she was; she’s just not one.

 11. pepsi or coke? I don’t like soda but my parents would sometimes buy one of the lighter versions of Coke and when I tasted those, it was actually a bit pleasant. Still didn’t enjoy the fizziness but at least it burned my throat a lot less.

 13. what is your favorite sport? Pro wrestling, if it counts. I havent’t watched an episode in years and I truthfully don’t recognize half the top wrestlers in the world right now, but I’m still very much attached to it. Wrestling’s been in my life in so long that it would be dumb not to name it as my favorite.

14. do you enjoy piercings and tattoos? I don’t actively look for them in other people but when I come across someone with a tattoo that has a cool story behind it, I’d love to hear about it.

15. do you enjoy taco bell or mcdonalds? Yes. Taco Bell slightly more, because I barely get to have it whereas there’s a McDo every five kilometers where I live and it’s easy to get tired of it.

16. are you restless? Lately yes, more than usual. Finally got around to joining several job-hunting websites just so I can get acquainted with this new environment that I’ll be in for pretty much the rest of my life, so naturally I’ve been overthinking a lot - about whether I’m good or skilled enough or not, if my resumé’s good enough even though mine is objectively stacked...the mind is not a healthy place, y’all. Sigh.

17. is your computer a laptop? It is.

18. what is your favorite color? Pastel pink.

19. what color is your hair? Black.

20. last inbox text message? “Is July 19 okay?” From our college yearbook’s editor-in-chief. I work on the yearbook committee and very few people have been submitting writeups, so we’re thinking of extending the deadline from today to ^ that date.

21. your response? I gave it a thumbs-up. The EIC likes acting as if he’s in charge of everything and never asks for my opinion or assigns me anything as the associate editor, so much so that I’ll sometimes take up certain crucial tasks all on my own and just inform him afterwards. Today he sent that message and he didn’t even tag me for my opinion and simply tagged the overall graduation committee head, ugh. I still acknowledged it with a thumbs-up so that he can’t say I’m unresponsive.

23. do you like anyone right now? I like all my friends, but I like one person in a romantic sense.

24. who is in the room with you? Kimi and Cooper are both sleeping near me, albeit separated. I don’t think these two are ever going to get along, and I’m slowly trying to accept that lol.

25. what are you wearing on your feet? Nothing.

26. what are your favorite pairs of shoes? Either my pair of Nike Cortez or the retro Onitsuka Tiger sneakers. Both are really comfy and go with most of my clothes.

27.who was the last person to say i love you? Gabie.

28. what was the last thing you ate? Luncheon meat sandwich for breakfast.

30. what is the closest item near you that is blue? An empty disposable vape pen in my wallet. It’s been out of juice for a few months now but I just haven’t thrown it out.

31. what instant messaging service do you use? Messenger for the most part. I move to Telegram if the topic is going to be confidential.

32. who was at your house last? My grandma and cousin. Kuya got McDonald’s for me and my siblings and I got sooo excited because I hadn’t had McDonald’s since before the lockdown. They also went over just to catch up, because my village had finally slightly loosened how strict they were with not letting non-residents in; and also to meet Cooper. 

33. which do you wear more, jeans or sweatpants? Definitely jeans. I own like one pair of sweatpants and I never wear it.

34. what is the last movie you watched? Embarrassingly enough, it’s still Cat in the Hat. Though there’s a local movie that’s been getting unbelievably good reviews that I’ve been itching to see; it’s called Through Night and Day. I plan to see that next.

35. what do you currently hear right now? I have a lo-fi playlist on my Spotify. This current song has a bit of piano going on.

36. is it on the radio or computer? Laptop.

38. where is your mom? She’s at her workplace, most likely typing away on the computer.

39. where did you get the shirt you’re wearing? My mom formerly owned it and she just passed it down to me.

40. where was your default picture taken? On here, it’s of Diane Nguyen from BoJack Horseman. Given that we’re both Southeast Asians, wear glasses, like to write, and love our food and eat them messily, it might as well be a portrait of me lol. My profile picture on Facebook is my graduation photo, and on Twitter it’s a webcam shot of me carrying both Kimi and Cooper, in a rare moment that I got to hold them in each of my arms.

41. are you texting someone? Nope.

42. would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yesss.

43. would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you? I truthfully don’t know what I would do since I’ve never been in this situation. I do see a slight chance of me taking them back, as stupid as it sounds. But I guess I will never really know what I’d do unless it’s already happening to me.

44. do you own something tie dyed? No.

45. did you hurt yourself today? I don’t think so.

46. do you want someone you can’t have? Can’t say I’m feeling like this right now.

47. who makes you smile the most? Kimi, especially when he listens to what I say because he always looks so sweet haha. Cooper’s in his terrible twos at the moment and is just hell-bent on biting every hand and foot he sees, so I’m still adjusting.

[buttercream-me-up]

Unaccepted // Joeck

Word Count- 1548

Summary- Jack comes out to his parents, but he does not get the reaction he was expecting.

Warnings; This is a Jack x Joe, meaning no reader. There is mention of Homophobia. If you do not feel comfortable reading LGBTQ+ imagines, don’t read this. 

A/n; This is my first time writing something that isn’t including a reader, tell me what you think and please leave feedback if you have any x

PLEASE NOTE; I DO NOT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM BELIEVE HELEN IS HOMOPHOBIC, THIS IS SOLELY FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS IMAGINE.

Requested; Yes, THIS IS NOT AN X READER. THIS IS JACK X JOE.

req; Joeck request: Jack is upset because his mum didn't accept his sexuality but he doesn't wanna tell joe so he just pretends he's ill. But Joe wakes in the middle of the night to find Jack crying on the balcony and he breaks down and tells Joe everything. Joe comforts. Lots of fluff please xxx

-

Jack couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to believe it. His own mother.. The person who’d been there through thick and thin. She didn’t approve of him. She was disgusted by him. He had never once thought his mother of all people wouldn’t approve. Conor assured him dozens of times; “She’ll accept you no matter what, Jack, but tell her when you’re ready.” He’d say. Well, apparently, Conor was wrong.

Today, he was finally ready to tell his parents about his sexuality. He’d known for years, but had only had relations with girls, despite his thoughts telling him he felt no attraction to them whatsoever. Now, that he had his first boyfriend, and after 4 months of sneaking around with him, Jack was ready to tell his mum and dad about his sexuality. They’d been pestering him about settling down with a nice girl, and he eventually let it slip out. His dad wasn’t really surprised, as he’d suspected it for years, but didn’t say anything. He stood up and engulfed Jack into a hug, accepting him immediately. His mother, wasn’t so friendly.

“What?” His mother said, a mixture of shock and disgust laced into her words. “You’re.. You’re gay?” She spat, eyes wide. “I should’ve known. I always knew there was something wrong with you.” She muttered, looking away, unable to look at her son anymore. “What? Mum, please..” Jack stuttered, eyes watering. “Don’t, Jack. Just.. don’t. I think it’s best you leave.” She said, leaving the room.

“D-dad?” He stuttered, brokenly. “I’m sorry, Jack. Give her some time.” He said, sympathetically. “I’ll talk to her, don’t worry. She just wasn’t expecting it, is all.” His father tried to comfort him, but they both knew she wasn’t one to change her opinions so easily. Without another word, Jack left his parent’s house, jumping into his car and driving out as fast as he could without breaking the law. He couldn’t stop the tears blurring his sight, so he pulled over (when it was safe, of course), and cried. He couldn’t bring himself to stop.

He’d been sat in the car for half an hour, simply crying. He’d lost his mother’s support; she’d always been his rock, and now she was gone. He sighed, his tears stopped and he was probably dehydrated. He didn’t feel it, though, as he was focused on the aching in his heart for his mother. Biting his lip, he looked both ways, front and back, then pulled back onto the road and made his way back to his shared flat with his boyfriend.

When Jack entered the flat, he was relieved to see Joe was filming a video and wasn’t paying him much attention. He went straight to the bathroom, splashing his face with water and cleaning himself up. He put on a brave face and pretended it was alright. He didn’t want to tell Joe; it would not only break him to re-live the memory; but he didn’t think he could bare to live with the broken look on Joe’s face if he told him. No, he’d keep to himself. At least for now.

He took a deep breath and left the room. Joe had just finished wrapping up the video he was filming, and smiled as Jack walked into the room. “Hey, Jack. Weren’t you supposed to be visiting your parents today?” Joe asked, furrowing his brows in confusion. “Mum got ill, had to reschedule.” Jack said, surprised he didn’t break down. “Oh, is she alright?” Joe asked, concerned. He’d met your parents before, though, the circumstances were quite different then. He’d got along great with them, when you were just introduced as friends. Now, he didn’t want to talk about it. “Yeah, just a little bug. It’ll pass, dad said.” He told his boyfriend, lying through his teeth. He hated lying to Joe, but he couldn’t bear telling him, it was too soon.

“Oh, okay.” Joe could easily tell something was wrong with Jack. He wasn’t himself, but Joe wasn’t one to push. He was patient, and confident Jack would tell him in his own time. “Well, do you want to film a video then relax and have a stay-in night? We can get Nando’s and put on stupid movies we can make fun of and stuff?” Joe asked, hopefully. Jack tended to cut himself off when he was upset, Joe hated it, but respected his way of dealing with it. He only wished Jack would open up to him more.

“I guess.” Jack muttered, earning a frown from Joe. “We don’t have to, if you don’t want to?” Joe was getting more concerned now, Jack loved filming and nights in with Nando’s. It was their tradition, when one of them was upset they’d cuddle on the couch and laugh at stupid movies, mocking them and posting unflattering pictures of each other on their snapchat and instagram stories. “No, it’s fine. Let’s do it.” Jack said, walking past Joe to set up the camera. Joe frowned deeply, but sighed and helped Jack set up.

Throughout the filming, it was quite obvious Jack’s heart wasn’t in it. He wasn’t making the cute, sarcastic, or funny comments he usually imputed through the video. He didn’t even laugh at the countless jokes Joe made, and Joe had enough. “Alright, what’s wrong, Jack?” He asked, sternly. Jack looked surprised. “What?” “You know exactly what, Jack. You aren’t laughing, you aren’t making jokes, and you usually love filming videos; you look like you’re forced to be here. Are you okay?” He asked, in a demanding tone. He hated raising his voice and being demanding of Jack, but he only wanted to help.

“I’m just feeling a bit under the weather. Can we just watch a movie?” Jack asked, and Joe sighed. “Yeah, of course.” He said, hiding the disappointment in his voice. They set up a comedy movie that had terrible reviews, neither of them knowing the name of it, and watched as Jack cuddled into Joe’s side. They had already ordered and finished their Nando’s. Usually, they’d watch movies like this and make jokes throughout the whole movie, but Jack hadn’t said a word. Jack was completely uncomfortable. He wanted desperately to tell Joe, but didn’t know how. “I don’t feel well. I’m just going to edit.” He said, getting up and leaving abruptly.

Joe didn’t know what to do. Jack loved his privacy, not liking to burden others with it, but he was never this distant with Joe, and it was worrying him. At this point, it was quite late, and Joe was exhausted from the long week. “I’m heading to bed.” Joe said to Jack, who was sat in the office. He nodded, “G’night.” No hug, kiss, or anything. “G’night, Jack.” Joe muttered, defeated.

Two hours later, it was almost 2am. Jack had long since turned off the computer, and was now debating whether to sleep on the couch or with his lover. He felt different; his mother’s opinion meant so much to him, and it was destroying him. He walked outside onto the balcony, hoping to clear his thoughts, but ended up breaking down. He cried. It was 2am, and here he was, crying on the balcony. Joe woke up, hearing traffic. Jack must’ve left the balcony opened. He slid out of bed, sighing, but froze when he heard the sounds of not only traffic, but sobs coming from the balcony.

Joe walked out, and he was sure his heart cracked then and there. Jack was on his knees, hands on his face, sobbing into them quietly. Joe ran over, wrapping his arms around Jack. “What’s wrong, Jack? Please, please tell me.” He pleaded, he couldn’t stand seeing Jack this way. “My mum hates me.” He managed, breaking down again and spinning around, crying into Joe’s shoulder.

“Why, Jack?” Joe asked, confused. He’d known all about the close relationship between Jack and his mother; he couldn’t possibly figure out why Jack thought she hated her. “For me being gay, Joe! She hates me for being gay!” Jack sobbed, his grip on Joe tightening. Joe tensed. It was his fault. “Jack, I’m so sorry..” Joe genuinely had no idea how to deal with this; his parents were happy with his sexuality.

They sat in silence for a while, Jack simply crying into Joe’s shoulder as he rubbed a soothing hand up and down Jack’s back. Once his crying slowed down, and he only had a few tears running down his reddened cheeks, which Joe wiped away with his hands. “Let’s get you to bed, Jack. Tomorrow we’ll ring Conor and have a lazy day in; ice cream and all. I’d say let’s have it now, but I ate all the ice cream earlier and it’s almost 3 in the morning.” Jack nodded, sniffling.

Joe walked Jack to the bed with a hand on his lower back, guiding him over to the bed. Joe tucked in Jack, running around to his side and climbing in, opening his arms for Jack to cuddle into, which he gladly did. Joe stayed away, running a hand through Jack’s hair until he felt his breathing even out, and smiled a bittersweet smile. “I’m so, so sorry Jack.” Joe whispered, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

[thenicedolphin]

Oscars Analysis With Biting Commentary: 2018 Edition!

We are BACK. And earlier than ever (I don’t know if that’s true, but compared to last year) with the 6th annual Oscars post from The Nice Dolphin (see links here for 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013), where Matt provides eye-opening, awe-inspiring commentary while Alex stumbles in, rambling about how Deadpool deserves all the Oscars even though it came out two years ago. As always, Matt is in regular font, and Alex comes in with the BOLD.

 Best Picture: “Call Me by Your Name” “Darkest Hour” “Dunkirk” “Get Out” “Lady Bird” “Phantom Thread” “The Post” “The Shape of Water” “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”

 It’s been an unconventional year for nominees. The Shape of Water and Three Billboards are surprising leading contenders, as both are divisive. A lot of my friends loved one and disliked the other. I’m pro-Shape and anti-Billboards.

 So unconventional. For me, the movies fall into two distinct tiers: Get Out and Not Get Out. We need more nuance than that? Okay, here’s how it breaks down:

Simply the best: Get Out Some level of greatness: Lady Bird, The Shape of Water, Phantom Thread Good, but not great: Call Me by Your Name, Dunkirk Shitty, yet inoffensive: The Post Makes Crash look like Do the Right Thing: Three Billboards (I’m not typing out the whole title)

I didn’t see Darkest Hour. In fact, I just learned that it’s not called “The Darkest Hours.” Faithful TND readers will know that I appreciate some economy when it comes to naming shit, but if I wanted to see a great Churchill impression, I’d just watch old YouTube clips of Jay Pharoah.

 The Shape of Water is a really beautiful film. The lead characters are all really memorable, and the look of the film had me in awe at different moments. The filmmaking and storytelling took a premise that was almost predictable and majorly elevated it. I preferred Shape of Water to Del Toro’s previous major-nominated film, Pan’s Labyrinth. Shape of Water is probably my third favorite film of the nominees, behind Get Out and Lady Bird.

 Yooooooo she fucked a fish! More than once! I loved how everyone was so nonchalant about it too. Like, when she first sees the fish, she IMMEDIATELY starts seducing it. When Octavia Spencer hears about it, instead of being horrified, she’s all “ayo, how’s his dick work?” I’m not even exaggerating.

The movie was a bit off-putting at first, but once you realize it’s more of a fairy tale than a grounded, sci-fi film, the wacky elements really come together to tell a nice little story. Watching this, I was like “damn, why does Matt love this movie so much?” Then I saw the fish doin a little Broadway shuffle in black and white. “All. The pieces. Fit.” - Lester Freamon

Also, those pies looked disgusting. I’m glad it turned out they were supposed to be gross, because I was seriously doubting my ability to judge a pie for a minute there.

 Get Out is basically a perfect story. I’ve seen it twice and the second time helped to reinforce that. The story is so clever, the references and nuances so plentiful, the genre-bending and mix of humor and horror so well-played. The race elements are incredible - every element of a black boyfriend meeting his white girlfriend’s family are played perfectly. Every line that hints at the underlying horror of this super-white community play as both funny and horrifying satire. There are so many layers included in the lines about black male stereotypes of virility and athletic ability.

 Get Out is super fun too. Lil Rel Howery has an amazing role - that dude cracked me up. Daniel Kaluuya handles his role really well, and Allison Williams does a good job leaning into her Girls role. And Bradley Whitford… nothing like TWO obnoxious white guy performances (douchey board member in The Post) to offset his West Wing persona.

 It won’t win (the Academy hates ball-jiggling), but Get Out is the best film of 2017, assuming Deadpool really came out in 2016. Like Matt said, it’s equal parts hilarious and horrifying, while still getting its point across in a way that feels natural and never forced. Get Out holds up on a re-watch as well. If anything, it’s a totally different experience, as so much of what you see/what is said takes on a new meaning.

 Lady Bird is near perfect too. While I love Moonlight, Get Out and Lady Bird are both films that are a lot more enjoyable for me to rewatch and enjoy the depths of. They are also both not Oscar-conventional films, which unfortunately leads them not to have much of a shot at winning Best Picture. A shame, considering both were basically the best reviewed of 2017.

 Lady Bird is a great film. I loathe coming-of-age movies, but Lady Bird manages to keep things realistic and for the most part avoids caricatures, tropes, and plot beats common to the genre. As someone who went to Catholic high school, I was prepared for the hackiest of jokes, but aside from the awful “abortion assembly” scene (which was still necessary to move the plot forward), I wasn’t even mad.

HAVING SAID THAT, it’s no Get Out and it’s certainly no Moonlight. No shit it’s easier to re-watch. Let’s Be Cops is easier to re-watch than Moonlight too, but does that mean it’s better? No! Lady Bird tells a small story and tells it well, but it’s not a life-spanning epic where a boy, a teen, and a man who looks like 50 Cent discover truths about themselves, the people in their lives, and their environments in a beautiful, heart-rending way.

 You’d think Lady Bird would be another Juno (and I love Juno!), but it is less cute and better written. And better acted too… Saiorse Ronan’s acting goes way beyond Ellen Page’s. Lady Bird, like Get Out, has no wasted scenes. Callback lines at a plethora. A perfect grasp of its era (2002-2003 school year) that definitely connected for a 2005 high school graduate like myself. The brilliance of Lady Bird is that it takes all its characters seriously while being a really funny movie, such as the nun/Lady Bird’s advisor who isn’t played for a stereotype. Lady Bird’s various love interests and friends are well-acted, full personalities. I think about the cool girl she gets to know, who could have just been treated as a bimbo, but definitely isn’t treated as such.

 I did think this was going to be another Juno. Not that I’ve seen Juno, but man that movie looked awful.

 Lady Bird is a confident story. It’ll make you laugh, knowing that in like 10 seconds you’ll want to cry and feel emotional.

 Matt cried several times.

 The acting is all great… Saiorse is a star, and Laurie Metcalf is awesome as her mom. Supporting characters all crush it, whether her brother, brother’s girlfriend, her lovable dad, or her classmates.

 Let’s contrast that with Three Billboards. Three Billboards is the third film of longtime playwright Martin McDonagh. I love his first film, In Bruges. McDonagh makes films that are dark, dark comedies. While this worked well with In Bruges, I found that Billboards was far too jarring tonally and too ambitious for its own good.

 Let’s call Three Billboards what it is: a steaming pile of crap. This was the worst movie I’ve seen in a long time -- and I’ve seen All the Money in the World! And La La Land!

The movie Matt lovingly referred to as “Three Shitstains” was starting to get some backlash for the tone-deaf way it took on race in America, but that was only like, the fifth worst thing about it. The tone was terrible. It wasn’t a “dark comedy,” but a bunch of dark shit with some awful slapstick thrown in the mix. At least the Three Stooges have DIGNITY.

 The acting is great, and Billboards has gotten many acting nominations as a result.

 This movie was so poorly written, I can’t even tell if the acting was good. It wasn’t enough for Rockwell to be a typical racist, angry, small town momma’s boy; he had to be Forrest Gump on top of that. McDormand was written as this tough-as-nails badass, but that’s not who she was at all. The billboards were pathetic, not some masterstroke. Woody lets the air out of that shit five minutes into the movie when he reveals that they legit worked on the case and nothing turned up. The rest of the characters were so 2-D they wouldn’t have passed muster in The Lego Movie (more on that later).

 The movie is far too uneven. It’s possibly the least rewatchable Best Picture movie as a result, though I do wonder if a second viewing will go better.

 It won’t.

 Billboards is about a mother whose daughter was raped and murdered, angry that the local police haven’t found the killer yet, leading her to call out the police chief in the titular billboards. Within the story, we have a temperamental, racist cop played by Rockwell, who the police chief thinks can become a better person. We have themes of race and violence. We have an abusive ex-husband. And we have clashing tones that don’t work, almost saved by excellent acting. Almost.

 (It wasn’t that close.)

 In Bruges had themes about depression and acts of violence that were really well thought out, where the character’s darkness was respected while there were still hilarious scenes throughout. Three Billboards bites off more than it can chew with the racist, violent cop (who, before the movie’s story takes place, was infamous for torturing a black guy in the jail), attempting a redemption arc that fails to satisfy. In the end, I felt like I just had to accept that the movie was treating his arc as redemption and ignoring several unforgivable things he did that weren’t given the full  attention they deserved. It gave me flashbacks to the racist white cop story in Crash. Can redemption work? Yes. Can it work if you write your story poorly? Nah dawg.

 Billboards gets too cute with its humor clashing with violence… I think of a scene of spousal abuse cutting to a joke mid-scene. It is also unclear and lacking in confidence on how much we’re supposed to like or dislike the main characters - I could not tell if McDonagh wanted us to like or dislike Frances McDormand’s motives or tell-off speeches in various scenes. And the movie is worse for it.

 This is the ultimate “fake deep” movie. It’s got bullshit posing as poignancy with enough stupidity thrown in (McDormand kicking kids in the crotch, midget jokes) so dumbasses can latch onto it to feel smart.

 Lastly, a common note I’ve seen is how McDonagh, who has lived in Ireland/England most of his life, wrote this script in 2010, prior to the Black Lives Matter movement, prior to Ferguson/Trayvon Martin. And.. it definitely shows in the script.

 Beyond that, McDonagh wants to show us “real” America, but nothing about the movie is remotely realistic or has even the faintest whiff of consequence.

 One more gripe: Woody Harrelson’s character’s wife is played by an Australian actress who seems just to be a casting favorite of McDonagh’s. And she keeps her Australian accent… despite being the wife of a police chief in rural Missouri. What? How does that make sense?

 It doesn’t.

They should’ve gotten the bear from Paddington 2 to play Chief Willoughby, if only because we’d get the line “You got a real nice cock, Mr. Paddington.”

 After my top tier of Get Out, Lady Bird, and The Shape of Water, I dug Phantom Thread, Dunkirk, and Call Me By Your Name next.

 I’d bump Phantom Thread up into that top tier, but I ain’t mad. (I’m a little mad).

 Phantom Thread surprised me. It didn’t have much buzz because it was released late, and the trailer didn’t really intrigue me. I shouldn’t have second-guessed Daniel Day-Lewis and Paul Thomas Anderson. Phantom Thread is well-acted (anchored by three great performances), and PTA is a master of filmmaking. This film is darkly comical at times (and in that weird PTA way where most of the audience I was with did not get that aspect), and it is delightful. DDL��� what a legend.

 Every time I think about Phantom Thread I like it more. Shit is HILARIOUS. Once you realize it’s a rom-com with some fancy trappings, it gets a lot more enjoyable. Some of the most biting insults of the year are in here, and if you’ve never seen someone use asparagus to humiliate their significant other, you owe it to yourself to watch Phantom Thread.

I was in a theater with two other people, one of whom looked borderline homeless, so he might’ve just been there to chill. Still, I was the only one cracking up, which made me feel alone, but smart.

Personal note: When I saw Phantom Thread, I was initially at the theater to see The Post, but the projector broke. Now my MoviePass history has The Post listed twice and Phantom Thread not at all, which is completely inaccurate. I just want this known, so if I die or something and my MoviePass app gets made public, please don’t think I liked The Post that much (or at all). PLEASE BELIEVE ME

 Dunkirk was breathtaking in IMAX and a “big” film marvel. It looks incredible, and the action is spectacular, intense, and visceral. Of course, Nolan puts a twist on the storytelling with his structure, and it makes the plot super dramatic and unique. I thought it was a really fun, intense movie, but it loses points for being less memorable afterward. The characters aren’t as impactful (though well-acted), and this is lower in my Nolan films (TDK, Inception, Memento, Batman Begins, Interstellar, and then let’s start considering Dunkirk).

After sifting through indie flicks like Call Me Maybe by Your Name, Lady Bird, and Three Billboards, you really start to appreciate Hollywood production values. Dunkirk looks fantastic. The wide shots, the desolation of the beach, the aerial shots with the ocean in the background -- all beautiful.

 Beyond the visuals, each individual scene contains great tension, as the soldiers are put into scenario after scenario of terror. However, when you start to stack those scenes up, the larger story never really comes together.

 Spoilers

 The story of Dunkirk is basically “We can’t get out! Oh wait...we can get out now.” The actual rescue scenes are so easily done that it kind of undercuts much of the drama preceding it. Also, my man Georgie...what are you even doing??? His is the most pathetic on-screen death in recent memory. Even the soldiers are mocking him! Had to re-watch The Killing of a Sacred Deer just to get the taste of laughter out of my mouth.

 Spoilers over

 Call Me By Your Name was anchored by a great romance story and a beautiful atmosphere. I wanted to live in that Italian town and eat dinners and read by the lake. The Sufjan songs are typically excellent, and really fit the tone of the movie. Timothée Chalamet as Elio anchors the film, and he nails it as an adolescent teen trying to sort out his sexuality. Armie Hammer is good too, and Michael Stuhlbarg is wonderful as Elio’s compassionate father.

 Big year for people fucking fruit in the movies! When dude starts fingering that peach I’m like “this is kinda sexual…” Little did I know, right? Decent crowd in the theater and only one other person laughed at this and when Elio puts Oliver’s stanky-ass swimming trunks on his head like a horny Dumbo.

Disappointed in myself because I enjoyed a Sufjan Stevens song. “Visions of Gideon” is a certified banger. I was jamming out over the ending credits when it slowly dawned on me that I was listening to Sufjan. Cried myself to sleep that night.

Feels weird to say, but this movie needed to show pipe. How you gonna have a movie about a dude discovering his sexuality with another dude and cut away to a tree branch when they finally do the dew? What a cop-out! Matt helpfully reminded me that they can’t show hard D without getting an NC-17 rating, but still. There were enough shots of them peeing, etc to where we could’ve gotten a peek. The hypocrisy was on full display during the one male/female sex scene when of course they show the tittays.

 Last we have The Post and Darkest Hour, which are in my last tier with Three Billboards. Both are solid flicks that I’m cool with getting Best Picture nominations, though I would have preferred seeing Mudbound or The Florida Project get some love here (I, Tonya was also good, but I’m fine with it not making it).

 I, Tonya was far better than The Post and Three Billboards (I avoided seeing Dankest Hour in favor of getting a head start on the 2019 Oscar post). Also, I wanna give some love to Detroit! It came out forever ago to no fanfare, but it’s a great flick that everyone should see. Brutal, heartbreaking, poignant, and sadly all-too-relevant in today’s times.

 The Post has two main stories, and I much preferred the story of these reporters looking for the Pentagon Papers and researching/writing things vs the Kay Graham story. While I think that Kay Graham was a legend who held a great influence throughout her career, I’m not sure how deftly her story was handled. The Post feels like if someone chose to do a movie telling the story of SNL in the mid-2000s and the movie focused on 1. The cast working to satirize George W. Bush and other political figures and 2. A subplot where women kept approaching Tina Fey to tell her how brave she was for becoming the first female headwriter of the show. Throwing two separate stories like that together? Not a great combo.

 You might say it’s “the Cyclops of white movies.”

 Also, The Post chooses to play up Kay’s story in ways that I didn’t enjoy. Spielberg made this film quickly and wanted it out by the end of 2017 because of the current political atmosphere, and the script overplays it. I didn’t need the movie emphasizing her influence on women as much as it did. (Spoilers: scenes like the government counsel’s staffer recognizing her and commending her at SCOTUS, or her being ignored by the press while leaving, as a crowd of women fawn over her walking by).

 The Post takes some fascinating source material and tells it in the boringest way possible. Kay Graham’s involvement in this seriously the least interesting thing about it. Literally anything else would’ve made a better movie: them writing the Pentagon Papers, them acquiring the papers, the Post vs. the Times, writing the stories, the ensuing legal battle/victory. Who gives a shit about some wrinkly old white woman suddenly deciding to grow a spine?

Unfortunately, this was the ONLY thing Spielberg cared about. The rest of the film was embarrassingly low-quality. That war scene in the beginning? Shit looked like something out of a sitcom flashback. Tom Hanks’ character was insufferable and his Tim-Allen-as-Batman accent did not help. I think they got the protest rally shots from an old That 70s Show B-roll. The trifecta of Tom Hanks’ wife literally having to state the thesis of the movie (“It’s hard being a woman!”), a young woman of color getting chewed out by her old, white boss (like we didn’t just spend two hours watching Hanks say way worse things to his staff), and Meryl’s “angel from Heaven” descent down the courthouse steps was awful. Also Carrie Coon announcing the court decision only to get interrupted by some fat white guy we’ve never seen before was the final bizarre decision in a movie full of them.

 The Post felt like a pretty safe Oscar film that had some good parts and some mixed parts. It had some on-the-nose scenes and some inexplicable scenes. It also had one of the cornier last scenes that I’ve seen in recent years…

 Darkest Hour is similar. Solid, safe film with flaws. Oldman is awesome as Winston Churchill, and the political behind-the-scenes leading up to and during Dunkirk are really intriguing. And that’s most of the film, so it works really well. The film fails to have many good supporting characters, such as Lily James in a thankless role as Churchill’s assistant, being given plot/backstory whenever it’s relevant to Churchill’s storyline. The movie also suffers from some meandering towards the end.

 Darkest Hour? Gary Old Man? Yeah, I’m good.

 I really enjoyed Mudbound, which may have lost some buzz by being a Netflix film. Netflix has gotta work on that. It’s still not a pitch-perfect film with some boring parts in the first half, but man, that last quarter of the film really hits hard. Meanwhile, The Florida Project aimed higher and had higher highs (how many times can I write high (CAN WE GET MUCH HIGHER)). Though it struggles when there were too many scenes of the kids playing around, the themes and its unique subject matter are so, so good. Its creativity and boldness were refreshing too. I gotta check out Tangerine by the same director, Sean Baker.

 Tangerine is great! Donut Time is closed down though :(

 Director: “Dunkirk,” Christopher Nolan “Get Out,” Jordan Peele “Lady Bird,” Greta Gerwig “Phantom Thread,” Paul Thomas Anderson “The Shape of Water,” Guillermo del Toro

 It looks like del Toro should win it, and he would be worthy. His vision and execution were marvelous. It’s such a visual treat, from the design of the monster, to the fashion and decor, to the feel of the scenes.

 What a visual treat it was to see a fish gettin it in! I wouldn’t be mad at a GDT win here. Solid economy of storytelling, and the overall vision, themes, and motifs all worked together to create a great sense of feeling and wonderment, which you need when you’re making a movie about fish love.

 Nolan was awesome per usual, with some amazing action and jaw-dropping uses of real stunts and IMAX cameras. I’m glad he got his first directing nod.

 Typical Nolan: dope visuals and a lot of overwrought music drowning out boring characters and a weak story.

 Gerwig and Peele are both amazing talents who made brilliant first feature films. I guess Best Director doesn’t usually go to simpler films (see: Inarritu’s dumb back-to-back wins for spectacle films). But man they were good at their craft.

 If I had my druthers, I’d give it to my man Jordan Peele. His was a truly singular vision helped along by deft world-building and a perfect tonal balance. The exact opposite of Martin McDonagh’s work on Three Billboards. Greta Gerwig did a nice job, but she’s no Peele.

 PTA is awesome too. He apparently also worked on the cinematography with the rest of his crew, which is cool.

 PTA did his thing on ‘em, bringing his unique flavor of dark humor mixed with some heavy emotional content.

 Mainly, I’m just glad Martin McDonagh didn’t get a nod here.

 Lead Actor: Timothée Chalamet, “Call Me by Your Name” Daniel Day-Lewis, “Phantom Thread” Daniel Kaluuya, “Get Out” Gary Oldman, “Darkest Hour” Denzel Washington, “Roman J. Israel, Esq.”

 Oldman is the favorite, both for a notable impersonation and his entire body of work. Oldman is a great actor, and I can’t fault him getting the award. I did enjoy his performance and the movie’s flaws are not because of it. One note: I haven't seen The Queen yet to see if he’s that much better as Churchill than John Lithgow, but cmon, how impressive is it when a bunch of dudes are able to play Churchill?

 Oldman is just that -- an old man. Maybe die already and let some youngbloods get their shine??? Just kidding, I have nothing against Commissioner Gordon. I’m sure he did great here and now has a go-to Halloween costume for later this year to boot.

 I prefer Chalamet’s detailed and nuanced in his portrayal of Elio. Chalamet just nails all the facial tics and body language, along with crushing scenes when asked (the film literally relies on his facial reactions during portions of the film).

 Chalamet was great! Him crying into the camera as the credits rolled could’ve nuked the entire movie, but it didn’t. So much of the context and depth in “Call Me by Your Name, Daddy” is internal, and the fact that Chalamet was able to get that across to the audience is a real testament to his performance. Also, he banged a peach in real life! That was some method acting!

 I love me some Daniel Day, and if this is his actual last role, then bravo. He is brilliant as a fashion designer who is super picky and unique. He’s such a prick at times, he’s such a baby at times, and he’s so funny all the way through. I get that they want to reward someone else. But man… DDL is the best.

 If they ever cross paths, I hope DDL and Chalamet compare notes. DDL: “I learned how to create 1950s-style women’s dresses by hand and actually made a few dozen which I then sold to wealthy aristocrats.” Chalamet: “I put my thing in some fresh fruit and sniffed a guy’s butthole!”

Also, shoutout to the casting director who tapped DDL to play Reynolds Woodcock. How fuggin easy was her job? “Ya know, we really should get DDL to play this part.” “Great job! He fit the role perfectly!”

 Kaluuya is really good in Get Out, though I prefer Chalamet/DDL over him. I’m glad that he got a nod for what might normally just be viewed as a horror movie role. Kaluuya’s emotional backstory is key to the film, and he does a great job showing the pain of his past and how it helps form his character’s decisions. Otherwise, Get Out is less an acting showcase than the other films, so less of a ceiling.

 It really is great to see a horror movie get this level of love and legitimization. Between Get Out and It, I hope Hollywood production companies realize that actually investing in the horror genre is a profitable move and as a consequence, we continue to see more (and better) horror flicks.

 I didn’t see Denzel’s performance. But I think it’s funny that he got this random nod sorta like how Meryl Streep gets nods for just about any role. People just love Denzel at this point. Franco might have deserved the nod for The Disaster Artist, where he was both hilariously weird yet held gravitas as the crazy Tommy Wiseau.

 *nods*

No Hugh Jackman (Logan)??? No anyone from Detroit??? Yuck.

 Lead Actress: Sally Hawkins, “The Shape of Water” Frances McDormand, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” Margot Robbie, “I, Tonya” Saoirse Ronan, “Lady Bird” Meryl Streep, “The Post”

 First, I think it’s a shame that Vicky Krieps didn’t get nominated for anchoring Phantom Thread with her role as tortured love interest, Alma. Krieps fills Alma’s personality with timidity, daring, ambition, and man, she’s good. She’s more of a main character than DDL at times, and she holds her own. Krieps went from an unknown to American audiences to having to spar with one of the greatest actors of all time. And she crushed it! I wonder if she was hurt by the film being released late. More people should be talking about this performance.

 Vicky Krieps is fantastic. Like Matt said, she went toe-to-toe with DDL and matched him in every scene, never getting lost in the shuffle. She’s gotta be amused with everyone treating her like a no-name newcomer though, since she’s apparently already a star in Poland or wherever the fuck she’s from.

 McDormand appears to be the frontrunner, and I thought she was really good. I prefer Saoirse Ronan and Sally Hawkins though. McDormand has a super showy role, and I’m guessing her win was clinched by her various speeches and rants throughout the film. She’s really good. I just don’t like the character due to the writing.

 Ugh, McDormand. I guess she was fine. Like I mentioned earlier, her character was so poorly constructed and written, I have no idea if the acting’s any good. Besides Meryl Streep, she’s definitely the worst on here. Streep actually suffered from some of the same issues as McDormand. Her character’s arc is such a drag that the movie came to a screeching halt every time she popped up on screen. It wouldn’t surprise me to learn that Streep and Hanks filmed that breakfast convo on separate coasts.

 Ronan is a huge talent, and she’s perfect as Lady Bird. She’s funny, emotional, and a fully-realized teenager. Lady Bird will go down as one of the most famous heroines - I have no doubt.

 Since my girl Vicky Krieps didn’t even get a nom, I’ll be pulling for Ronan.

 Hawkins is magnetic as Elisa. She was limited as a mute character, but presented herself so well with body language, sign language, and charm. Hawkins imbues her character with such optimism and hope. She treats her friends with such warmth. And she has to portray her interest opposite an actor inside a costume, who also can’t speak. I mean, that’s carrying a lot, and she is brilliant.

 To Hawkins’ credit, you really do believe she wants to fuck that fish. Like, there is NO DOUBT. She must’ve been channeling her inner-Chalamet between takes.

 Margot Robbie is really good as Tonya Harding and the best part of the movie for me, moreso than Allison Janney (more on that below), though it’s laughable when she has to play a teenager. One scene of note is her preparing for a performance in front of a mirror. It’s one of those acting showcases that really impresses, and she does it well.

 Margot Robbie was great as Tonya Harding. I didn’t realize not only how hated Harding was back then, but how hated she is now! I brought this movie up to several people and each was like “UGH! Why would I want to see a movie about Tonya Harding -- she’s the devil! I hate her!” Why would anyone still be mad about this? First of all, it’s figure skating. Second of all, it happened twenty-five years ago, and third of all, Nancy Kerrigan was fine! Get over it, sheeple! Just don’t get me started on the tragedy of Michelle Kwan -- now THAT’S something to still be upset over.

 I would replace Streep with Krieps in a heartbeat. Yes, Streep is good as Kay Graham, but Krieps is better, and Streep is the worst of these 5. Honestly, if Kay Graham had been played by Frances McDormand, she would not have been nominated. Streep got the nomination because she’s Meryl Streep.

 This might be Matt’s hottest take and it’s 100% correct. /shocked emoji

 Supporting Actor: Willem Dafoe, “The Florida Project” Woody Harrelson, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” Richard Jenkins, “The Shape of Water” Christopher Plummer, “All the Money in the World” Sam Rockwell, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”

 Rockwell is expected to win, and he’s pretty good. I can’t get over his character arc though. This character is just… it’s weird! It doesn’t make any sense. Rockwell is a great actor though, and he does the best he can. He’s awesome.

 /copy-and-pastes paragraph about Frances McDormand

 I love Dafoe’s performance more. The Florida Project’s cast was filled with new actors, and that was mostly good, but Dafoe was amazing. He’s got his scenes here and there, and he makes the screen pop whenever he shows up. Just a genuine good, imperfect dude, managing a hotel.

 This movie looked awful. I don’t know if I’m just bitter or I’m suffering from trailer fatigue, but with the exception of Mission Impossible: Fallout and Black Panther, I haven’t seen a single trailer where I didn’t think “this movie looks like trash.” Even for good movies! Step ya trailer game up, Hollywood.

 Woody Harrelson was good, but it’s a little silly that his role got in over Hammer or Stuhlbarg in Call Me By Your Name or Michael Shannon in Shape of Water. I didn’t catch Plummer in his role.

 I’m serious: replace Woody with Paddington and the movie is immediately 25% better. Woody was fine, but yeah what the shit. Also, Armie Hammer was...not great. Dude was two seconds away from doing a Tiger Woods fistpump after suckin’ Elio’s cannoli. Get it together, man.

 Plummer was good considering he’s like 90 (a true Old Man) and did all his shit in like a week in front of a green screen. You’d think him being a last-second replacement for Kevin Spacey would be distracting, but the movie’s so bad you don’t really care. Actually, we should go back and replace Spacey with Christopher Plummer in everything! Imagine Plummer bringing his elder statesman gravitas to American Beauty or Horrible Bosses.

 Jenkins was great in The Shape of Water. Really good supporting character and friend to Elisa. The supporting cast in Shape of Water was generally awesome.

 Supporting Actress: Mary J. Blige, “Mudbound” Allison Janney, “I, Tonya” Lesley Manville, “Phantom Thread” Laurie Metcalf, “Lady Bird” Octavia Spencer, “The Shape of Water”

 Janney seems to be the frontrunner, though this seems like the only one of 4 categories where people think there may be an upset. Metcalf is so good in Lady Bird, varying from tough mom to loving mom.

 Truly great range.

 Janney got a lot of hype, and I ended up feeling underwhelmed by her performance. She disappears for a lot of the film after a showy start, and I ended up being much more into the performances of Robbie and Sebastian Stan.

 Man, GTFOOHWTMFBS. She “disappears” for a lot of the film because the story goes elsewhere; it’s not like she’s turning in a half-forgettable performance. Plus, that criticism is meaningless when Queen Elizabeth can win one for like 8 minutes of screen time. Janney is great in this film, giving a performance that’s far from one-note, more nuanced than she’s getting credit for, and 100% real.

 I preferred Manville’s role as the DDL’s sharp sister in Phantom Thread. She’s really good without ever being too showy.

 This is the one nominee I won’t be mad at for beating Janney (well, her and Mary J, because how could I ever be mad at Mary J?). Manville crushes it as Woodcock’s sister and business manager. She delivers scathing insults with that Woodcockian gumption and provides some humanity in the face of DDL’s artistic vanity without falling into the Jekyll/Hyde dichotomy. She keeps it as real as Reynolds, but is just wired a bit differently.

 Spencer is another key supporting role in The Shape of Water, and she’s another terrific friend to Elisa. I also enjoyed her calling out her husband - he needs to get his act together!

 Yeah, dude has to turn in his sack after that FBI agent ran roughshod over his household.

 Mary J is really solid in Mudbound, though I was much more into the roles of Jason Mitchell (Eazy-E!) and Garrett Hedlund, the main relationship of the film.

 Original Screenplay: “The Big Sick,” Emily V. Gordon & Kumail Nanjiani “Get Out,” Jordan Peele “Lady Bird,” Greta Gerwig “The Shape of Water,” Guillermo del Toro, Vanessa Taylor “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri,” Martin McDonagh

 It’s so cool to see The Big Sick get a nomination here. My main gripe about the movie is that it gets a little long. But it’s a really good adaptation of a real-life story, filled with funny scenes mixed with good emotion. Big Sick is such a lovely film. It’s got great performances too by Ray Romano and Holly Hunter. And the cultural stuff is really neat to see on-screen.

 The Big Sick is the one movie I really regret not getting to. If only there was a way I could still watch it...

 Get Out’s script is amazing. I hope it wins. It seems like it’s between it and Billboards, which definitely doesn’t deserve a win.

 Get Out should get TWO wins here. One for Lil Rel’s dialogue and one for the rest of it. You aren’t getting this kind of quality anywhere else. A true original. If Three Billboards somehow wins this I’m gonna rent three billboards to talk about how shitty that movie is. “How Come Chief Paddington?”

 I’m bummed Lady Bird seems like it won’t get any wins (fingers crossed on Metcalf), and it’s second here for me after Get Out. Shape of Water is great, but the script isn’t what gets me the most.

 I don’t think I need to tell you what about The Shape of Water gets Matt the most.

 Adapted Screenplay: “Call Me by Your Name,” James Ivory “The Disaster Artist,” Scott Neustadter & Michael H. Weber “Logan,” Scott Frank & James Mangold and Michael Green “Molly’s Game,” Aaron Sorkin “Mudbound,” Virgil Williams and Dee Rees

 Shoutout to LOGAN! First major nod for a comic book movie I think. Awesome. It was a great sendoff for a famous pairing (Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart as Logan and Xavier). Here’s hoping we get some more nods next year for Black Panther (and hopefully if Infinity War is good).

 LOGAN! We made it, fam! Logan was a great flick. So happy to see Wolverine finally done right on the big screen. If they’d have tightened up the post-X23 battle portion of the movie, I’d be clamoring for it to get a Best Picture nom.

 Call Me by Your Name was really well-done. A cool tidbit is that Sufjan Stevens convinced the director to take out the narration from the book (though I guess that would be a knock on the screenplay, probably?).

 After Matt hit me with some details from the Call Me by Your Name and I Will Call You by My Name book, I’m even more thankful to Sufjan. Really didn’t need to see these guys taking massive dumps in front of each other while the camera pans to Elio’s dad crying, with his shirt pulled over his nose.

 Disaster Artist was a really fun movie about a really wacky story. It managed to get the right amount of comedy and emotion into it. From what I’ve read, Mudbound seems to have done some good work changing aspects of the book, including adding more viewpoints for the black family members. It’s still a bit shaky in the first half.

 Molly’s Game was a mixed bag. Sorkin seemed to have his usual strengths and minuses… and the minuses were big. I don’t get why he shoehorns a father-child relationship into all of his scripts. This one was particularly unnecessary and detracted from the storyline.

 I didn’t get to Disaster Artist or Molly’s Game. Sorkin’s scripts are more bloated than Bridge of Spies’ runtime.

 Film Editing: “Baby Driver,” Jonathan Amos, Paul Machliss “Dunkirk,” Lee Smith “I, Tonya,” Tatiana S. Riegel “The Shape of Water,” Sidney Wolinsky “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri,” Jon Gregory

 Baby Driver! That’s a cool nomination right there. The film’s weakest part is the story, so I’m all for any movie-making nominations it gets, and the editing was crisp.

 Props to Baby Driver for being really cool and really dumb at the same time. That’s hard to do!

 Dunkirk is the win for me here. A lot of the movie relies on the jumping around of timelines, and the movie really nails it there.

 Does it though? There were three timelines/points of action, but Nolan did a slopfest of a job tying them together. Should’ve given Billy Walsh a truckload of fresh fruit and let him get a crack at the dailies.

 Cinematography: “Blade Runner 2049,” Roger Deakins “Darkest Hour,” Bruno Delbonnel “Dunkirk,” Hoyte van Hoytema “Mudbound,” Rachel Morrison “The Shape of Water,” Dan Laustsen

 Oh snap, that’s DEAKINS’ music. People think Deakins will finally win here after being nominated 14 times. Here’s some great footage of his best work. I still don’t completely understand cinematography, but it does seem like he lost a few times for movies that were more visual effects than cinematography (e.g. Life of Pi).

 Deak tha Freak! Didn’t see Blade Runner 2049 because I’m not a nerd, but I got love for Deakins, so sure, give it up for him. Don’t even talk to me about Life of Pi. Fuck Pissing Patel and fuck you too!

 As for this specific film, Blade Runner 2049 is beautiful, and he appears to have done some incredible work himself on the film (as opposed to other visual effects people). It looks amazing in some scenes, the lighting is great, and the world is fully-realized.

 Shape of Water and Dunkirk are my next favorites. Both look really good.

 Of the two I’ve seen, Dunkirk probably deserves this over The Shape of Water. Its visuals were the best thing it had going on. At least The Shape of Water has fish peen to fall back on.

 Animated Feature: “The Boss Baby,” Tom McGrath, Ramsey Ann Naito “The Breadwinner,” Nora Twomey, Anthony Leo “Coco,” Lee Unkrich, Darla K. Anderson “Ferdinand,” Carlos Saldanha “Loving Vincent,” Dorota Kobiela, Hugh Welchman, Sean Bobbitt, Ivan Mactaggart, Hugh Welchman

 BOSS BABY. But nah I’ve only seen Coco. Coco is so good. It reminds me of Inside Out for how mature and emotional it is. Its themes of family and death and memory are on point. It’s also really fun and colorful, AND it’s got awesome culture with Dia de Las Muertas.

 Haven’t seen any of this shit. Maybe I’m racist, but Coco looks boring as hell. Just Moana but Mexican instead of Polynesian.

Also, how did The Lego Batman Movie not get ANY love? That was probably the third best Batman movie of all-time (Batman and Batman Begins being the top two)! I’m STILL mad at The Lego Movie not getting nominated for Best Animated Feature when it was a dark horse for Best Picture! The Lego Movie is the Michelle Kwan of animated movies.

Original Song: “Mighty River” from “Mudbound,” Mary J. Blige “Mystery of Love” from “Call Me by Your Name,” Sufjan Stevens “Remember Me” from “Coco,” Kristen Anderson-Lopez, Robert Lopez “Stand Up for Something” from “Marshall,” Diane Warren, Common “This Is Me” from “The Greatest Showman,” Benj Pasek, Justin Paul

 SUFJANNNNNNNNNN. When I first wrote this, I was bummed because I thought he wasn’t performing. You can imagine my joy when it was announced that he WAS.

 Can’t wait for Suf to walk onstage with a big butterfly outfit while a bunch of violinists run around him in heart-shaped outfits, while Chalamet and Hammer are biking around stage while eating gelato. Mystery of Love is amazing and very key to the movie (Visions of Gideon may be even better, but I’m cool with MoL getting the nod here).

 Visions of Gideon IS better, though that’s not saying much. IS IT A VIDEO SUFJAN????????

 Remember Me seems like the favorite, and it’s a really great song. I would be pretty happy with it getting the win. It’s cool that Gael Garcia Bernal is performing (unlike Gosling/Stone flaking last year for La La Land, smh).

 Remember Me has the issue of trying to live up to the standard set by Z-Ro for songs titled “Remember Me.”

Original Score: “Dunkirk,” Hans Zimmer “Phantom Thread,” Jonny Greenwood “The Shape of Water,” Alexandre Desplat “Star Wars: The Last Jedi,” John Williams “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri,” Carter Burwell

 I need to re-listen to Last Jedi’s score, but it’s hard for me to say that it had anything unique compared to the previous Star Wars movies… just feels like a nod for Johnny W.

 Not a big “score” guy, but let’s go ahead and crown Sicario 2 the winner in this category next year.

 Shape of Water was really lovely. I also think it’d be cool to see Greenwood get a win (Radiohead whaaa). Dunkirk is super intense. Billboards...nah.

 The Shape of Water was scored by a Radiohead guy? Makes sense because that fish was a CREEP.

Sound Editing: “Baby Driver,” Julian Slater “Blade Runner 2049,” Mark Mangini, Theo Green “Dunkirk,” Alex Gibson, Richard King “The Shape of Water,” Nathan Robitaille, Nelson Ferreira “Star Wars: The Last Jedi,” Ren Klyce, Matthew Wood

Sound Mixing: “Baby Driver,” Mary H. Ellis, Julian Slater, Tim Cavagin “Blade Runner 2049,” Mac Ruth, Ron Bartlett, Doug Hephill “Dunkirk,” Mark Weingarten, Gregg Landaker, Gary A. Rizzo “The Shape of Water,” Glen Gauthier, Christian Cooke, Brad Zoern “Star Wars: The Last Jedi,” Stuart Wilson, Ren Klyce, David Parker, Michael Semanick

 Baby Driver’s sound was critical to it, as was Dunkirk’s. I have trouble understanding the two (here’s one of many explainers) but based on what I read, I’d want Baby Driver for Sound Mixing (Edgar Wright had the actors listening to the same song simultaneously, so they could imagine how it would play on screen… which is awesome) and Dunkirk for Sound Editing.

 Can’t speak to the legitimacy of these nominees, but it’s a relief seeing the same five in both categories. Can you imagine the humiliation otherwise? “Oh this was MIXED really well, but the editing was TRASH.”

Visual Effects:

“Blade Runner 2049,” John Nelson, Paul Lambert, Richard R. Hoover, Gerd Nefzer “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2,” Christopher Townsend, Guy Williams, Jonathan Fawkner, Dan Sudick “Kong: Skull Island,” Stephen Rosenbaum, Jeff White, Scott Benza, Mike Meinardus “Star Wars: The Last Jedi,”  Ben Morris, Mike Mulholland, Chris Corbould, Neal Scanlan “War for the Planet of the Apes,” Joe Letteri, Dan Lemmon, Daniel Barrett, Joel Whist

Matt didn’t offer any analysis here, so I can only assume he worked on the visual effects for Kong or whatever and it’s a conflict of interest.

Production Design: “Beauty and the Beast,” Sarah Greenwood; Katie Spencer “Blade Runner 2049,” Dennis Gassner, Alessandra Querzola “Darkest Hour,” Sarah Greenwood, Katie Spencer “Dunkirk,” Nathan Crowley, Gary Fettis “The Shape of Water,” Paul D. Austerberry, Jeffrey A. Melvin, Shane Vieau

The Shape of Water looks cool? So does Blade Runner. So I want one of those.

Was Beauty and the Beast the most unnecessary movie of 2017? Probably. Really stoked for the human version of Song of the South. I wanna know who designed the pies in The Shape of Water. Damn those shits were ugly.

Makeup and Hair: “Darkest Hour,” Kazuhiro Tsuji, David Malinowski, Lucy Sibbick “Victoria and Abdul,” Daniel Phillips and Lou Sheppard “Wonder,” Arjen Tuiten

 I do think it’s random that this only has 3 nominees. That’s all I got. Oldman for Churchill, I imagine, should win.

 Doesn’t this category usually only have 3 noms? If only I was typing this on a machine that would let me look up the answer. Folks better get these famous-people roles while they can; another 5 years and biopics will be 50% holographic.

Costume Design: “Beauty and the Beast,” Jacqueline Durran “Darkest Hour,” Jacqueline Durran “Phantom Thread,” Mark Bridges “The Shape of Water,” Luis Sequeira “Victoria and Abdul,” Consolata Boyle

Phantom Thread should win, right? Shape looks cool too. The outfits for the monster were wild.

Ayo, that fish was buck naked! They really just subbed in my man Abe Sapien. If Phantom Thread doesn’t win this...it’s like, Mark Bridges, what the hell are you even doing?

Best Documentary Feature: “Abacus: Small Enough to Jail,” Steve James, Mark Mitten, Julie Goldman “Faces Places,” JR, Agnès Varda, Rosalie Varda “Icarus,” Bryan Fogel, Dan Cogan “Last Men in Aleppo,” Feras Fayyad, Kareem Abeed, Soren Steen Jepersen “Strong Island,” Yance Ford, Joslyn Barnes

 My friend Donna says Abacus is awesome, and it seems like a cool story. Jane didn’t get nominated here and that’s the only one I saw (good film).

 Didn’t see any of these. I watch movies to ESCAPE from real life, not wallow in it.

 Best Foreign Language Film: “A Fantastic Woman” (Chile) “The Insult” (Lebanon) “Loveless” (Russia) “On Body and Soul (Hungary) “The Square” (Sweden)

 I have seen the trailer for Loveless, and it looked intense. Otherwise, I gotta get to these… it’s tough when they aren’t really available in theaters.

Matt, you gotta move out of BFE. Loveless and “L’Insult” been in theaters here. Not that I’ve seen them, whoops.

 Animated Short: “Dear Basketball,” Glen Keane, Kobe Bryant “Garden Party,” Victor Caire, Gabriel Grapperon “Lou,” Dave Mullins, Dana Murray “Negative Space,” Max Porter, Ru Kuwahata “Revolting Rhymes,” Jakob Schuh, Jan Lachauer

 KOBE

 *ahem*

#KOBE

 Best Documentary Short Subject: “Edith+Eddie,” Laura Checkoway, Thomas Lee Wright “Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405,” Frank Stiefel “Heroin(e),” Elaine McMillion Sheldon, Kerrin Sheldon “Knife Skills,” Thomas Lennon “Traffic Stop,” Kate Davis, David Heilbroner

 Let me put my homie Matt on blast here. I told him I was going to check out a showing of these five shorts and he’s all like “Why? I’m not including them in the Oscar pool, loser.” I was STUNNED. I’m in it for the ART, meanwhile Matt only cares about nursing his gambling problem. Anyhow.

Traffic Stop is apparently the front-runner, but was probably the worst one. I’m totally on board with its message about cops being violent racists, but the situation here probably wasn’t the best one to exemplify that idea.

Edith+Eddie had some charming moments, but not much of a story. People treat old people like shit. Wow.

Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405 was the most poignant and touching of the five. The story of Mindy Alper, an artist who suffers from truly debilitating mental illness/depression, is both heartbreaking and uplifting. It’s amazing what she’s been able to accomplish while simultaneously waging a constant battle with herself.

Heroin(e) tells a gripping story of the heroin epidemic of Huntington, WV and what three strong women are doing to battle it. Nothing super-groundbreaking, but a very well-told story about a part of the country that often goes overlooked.

Knife Skills was my second-favorite behind Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405. At times hilarious, but always inspiring, we get a look at ex-cons getting a second chance by attending culinary school/working at an upscale French restaurant in Cleveland. The willingness to show some light-hearted moments made this doc feel a bit slighter than the other four, but that’s hardly a fair criticism. Great stuff, and it definitely left me wanting to see more. And hungry.

 Best Live Action Short Film: “DeKalb Elementary,” Reed Van Dyk “The Eleven O’Clock,” Derin Seale, Josh Lawson “My Nephew Emmett,” Kevin Wilson, Jr. “The Silent Child,” Chris Overton, Rachel Shenton “Watu Wote/All of Us,” Katja Benrath, Tobias Rosen

 DeKalb Elementary is about a local incident in Atlanta so I’ma be pulling for it.

 That’s all I got.

[wrightsum857]

Tangled A.K.A Rapunzel (2010).

I have chosen this film because I recall watching it with my family-once with my family, and then again that same evening with my brother who had returned home late. We stayed up till past twelve. I was enraptured by it, I had laughed, nearly cried and enjoyed it so much I wanted to see it again straight away. So I did. Disney is known for its great movies, so I won’t repeat what has already been said. But out of all the movies I had seen up to that point none were like this one. Aside from The Princess and The Frog (2009) no Disney Princess film had been seen since Mulan (1998). And even though T.P.A.T.F had been brilliant, Tangled still felt different. It was funny.  That is what I remember most. Laughing and being surprised at that. That should not be so surprising as most (if not all Disney films are), but again for some reason it surprised me. But when there is a close up of a green chameleon nodding in deep feeling or sticking his tongue in a mans ear- yeah can’t help but at least smile. I guess you could say it was because I was skeptical. That’s right, I had been. I have read so many versions of Rapunzel (some more disturbing than others), so I had no idea what to expect when I saw that the name was not Rapunzel at all. But it was still about Rapunzel, what? I confess that it had me confused for a little while… But I enjoyed it. Yes, there where additions, minor changes to the plot to make it unique as is the way with Disney, but they were not bad. A little odd, unexplained additions but that again is Disney for yeah, what is a little mystery eh? Rapunzel. A young woman who has been the daughter to a seemingly: single, doting albeit over clingy, definitely got some attachment issues, mother. It quickly becomes clear as to why Rapunzel acts so childishly when out and about. Although I did still scoff a little that she was supposed to be eighteen. This bare foot, doe eyed gal who loves to paint and read and brush her excessively long, magical hair, a woman? Oh and of course sing and talk to her pet chameleon (don’t get me started on how that came to be there). But strangely I felt I could relate to her. A character who dares to wish to leave the bosom of her parents and home that has been her sanctuary most of her life? (Because everyone lives in a tower in the middle of nowhere-don’t you?) A character who seeks adventure, gallivanting through forests, small canyons, pubs (?!) and towns. Her choice of weapon a handy frying pan. Her companion, a devilishly handsome outlaw and burglar.  Of course you must be wondering how could I possibly relate to this (or anyone for that matter) well to put it simply, it reminded me of going off to College or University. If you think about it- it makes sense. Overbearing parent, in denial child.is grown up. Child wishes to get some independence, travel, meet a few guys, visit a pub….Sounds a little familiar doesn’t it? When I think about it, it makes me wonder how Disney IS aimed at children? Most of the time the characters are growing up, are getting married and are going to war! They are not children. And Disney now makes a point to specify their age so they are at least of a legal age to get married. So if they are adults doing adult things (like hooking up with strangers, getting married, with little euphuisms here and there, why are they aimed at children? Well that is an obvious one too. Fantasy. But not Fifty Shades fantasy, but a role model of how to be. As a kid, when I think back to my reaction to the Disney movies, I didn’t think about who they married or why two characters fell in love. I thought about what they wore, what they did. Mulan putting her hair up and fighting, using a sword etc., Belle reading lots of books and playing in the snow whilst feeding birds and finally Rapunzel, playing with her hair in a forest, running wild, doing art, reading (Disney really can’t press enough how important reading) and following a dream that in itself is very simple. Look at a few lanterns on her birthday. But the journey she embarks to fulfill that dream is what is complicated and what makes the film. Disney films are so slapstick, so fanatical and filled with exaggerated adventure, kids can have a laugh (euphuisms flying over their innocent heads), plan what new outfit they want their parents to buy and what scene to play out with friends (or alone) and just maybe, understand enough of the plot to learn something to take away. I guess my point is this, Disney understands that for most children real life (what we experience as adults) is not yet a reality. So to them what we see as an extreme fantasy, is not so unrealistic to a child. Yes I knew that I could not have a dragon or hair that can heal wounds, but maybe there were dragons and maybe if you did have hair that long it would glow and be magical. If my injured old man couldn’t go to War, I might have the courage to go in his place, and my favorite weapon of choice might just be a frying pan. Children don’t watch films and think it is all impossible. They know that what they can’t do themselves, they can pretend is magical by using objects they recognize to be similar to the films they just saw. Whether it be sitting on a carpet making whooshing noises, or swiping a plastic sword, or even using a piece of light yellow cloth as hair… We look and see them sitting on an old carpet in the house, who knows where they are seeing themselves, whilst sitting on that carpet? Had I watched Tangled as a young child, I would have just seen a girl playing, but like most Disney films, I reflect on those moments and only when I reach those pivotal moments myself, do I fully understand what Disney was teaching me. To dream, even if it is a simple one and try to fulfill it. And remember, sometimes you might not be bale to do it alone, so bring someone along with you for the ride. *declaimer, don’t get me wrong I don’t always agree with Disney but I am almost always impressed by what they put out. **It was recently explained how the Chameleon came to be there after I started writing this review.