#my mother's been drilling this stuff into me since i was little

[superstar-ethereal]

project 2025 includes plans for media censorship so i'm currently off on the biggest downloading spree of my life

calm reminder for those who haven't yet: download your favorite fics, songs, movies, shows, games if your device has the storage—everything. get physical copies when available, and keep file backups on an external drive if you can.

(P.S. i don't have super extensive resources to give you, but A) Tor browser and youtube to mp3/mp4 websites are your friends, B) tumblr and reddit tend to have good guides and link masterlists, and C) get a backup drive with greater or roughly equal storage capacity relative to your computer if possible)

(P.P.S. also, go look st the notes on this post!! there's a bunch of cool info people have shared, and i don't think i could get any of it out very far by just reblogging ^^;)

[rinhaler]

MORE UNCLE NANAMI PLEASIEEEE PLEASE 🥺🥺🥺🥺👉🏽👈🏽

++ 𝐡𝐢𝐢, 𝐈'𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲/𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐞 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 🙈 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐤𝐤𝐬𝐣

It's been a while since I did any nanamin stuff hehe (combining two reqs bc u both don't have anything specific heheheee)

warnings: 18+ MDNI, incest, fem!reader, uncle!nanamin, fingering, exhibitionism, public sex ig, squirting, pet names (sweetheart, princess, angel, baby).

words: 1.1k

“W-Wow…” you muse, taking in the decadent atmosphere of the restaurant.

You’ve seldom been to places like this, like when your favourite uncle decides to treat you and your mother to a nice meal when he’s in town. But even then, there is a stark difference from the restaurants back home in the village you live in. It’s magnificent. You may have experienced a similar setting before, but never on a date.

A date with that very same uncle, nonetheless.

“You like it, sweetheart? I’m glad.” he tells you, taking your hand as you're guided by the maître d' to your table. He looks over the top of his menu as he studies your face. You’re so precious, that’s what he thinks as you look over the options and realise you don’t understand what any of them are. “I’ll order for you.” he assures you, taking the menu from your hand and setting it down.

You feel yourself get warmer, a little embarrassed that he picked up on your cluelessness so easily. But you smile, regardless, thanking him.

You’ve been so excited for this little trip since you first heard about it.

“Uncle Nanami wants to know if you’d like to spend the weekend with him?” your mother asked/told you. And, bless her, she had no idea what that would entail.

It’s been months since you’ve seen him. You were hardly surprised when your ankles were practically behind your ears as he drilled his cock in and out of your puffy, slicked up folds, the minute he got you to his house.

You’d been drenched the entire train ride.

“You look so pretty tonight, princess.” he tells you, cupping your face so sweetly with a rough, masculine hand. His singular hand is almost the size of your entire face. He coos at you as your eyelids become heavier, leaning in to place a delicate kiss on your cheek. “I’m so happy you’re here with me. Hopefully your mother won’t object to this being a regular thing.” he smiles.

You’ve been squirming in your seat since before your main course arrived. The way he looks at you, the way he talks to you, you forget how naughty your uncle Nanamin can be. Your panties are once again entirely soaked through. He’d mentally noted how much you were wriggling around, though he chose not to comment on it. Not until—

“Can’t sit still for five minutes, hm? What’s wrong?” he asks.

“N-Need you…” you whisper, putting your head down to avert his intense stare. Though you’re soon looking at him again as he tilts your head up by your chin, forcing you to hold his gaze.

“What was that, angel? I didn’t quite hear you.”

“Need you… uncle Nanamin, need you real bad.” you pout. And at that, he smirks. You’re a little taken aback as his hand lowers beneath the table. Here? Right here? Your heart pounds as you look around at the other clueless restaurant patrons. This is so unlike him. He’s always so upstanding and discreet. But—

“My my, sweet little girl. You are soaked.” he comments as his fingers breach the hemline of your cotton panties. You bite your lip as his fingers drag up and down the length of your slit. He shushes you as your eyes well with tears, shame and pleasure wrack through you as he finds your slippery clit. And he targets it, skilfully. “Be good for me, be so good for me. If you make a single sound, I won’t touch you for the remainder of the weekend. Do you understand?”

You take his words literally, only nodding as he awaits your answer. It’s near impossible, though, when he makes you feel so good like this. Even with just a few pathetic rubs on your clit, your eyes begin to roll back.

“Na— Nanamin,” you do your best to whisper, his name leaving your lips as a ghoulish gasp. He shushes you, quietly, but it’s loud enough to make a statement. His eyebrows furrow, and you can’t tell if it’s anger or disappointment. You think you’ll die if he stops, though his ministrations haven’t ceased yet. Maybe you were quiet enough to test the boundaries of what he actually meant.

He doesn’t want you to cause a scene.

“Kiss me, please.” you whisper again. And that softens his features. He pities you, you think, although that assumption proves wrong as he indulges you. He closes the distance between you without letting up his gentle yet purposeful touches on your pretty pearl. You’re a little surprised when you feel his tongue enter your mouth, something you’ve never known him to do in public before. “I— I love you.”

“Yeah?” he smiles into your kiss before he breaks it completely. “You’re so close, you’re shaking. Let me see how much you love me. Cum for your favourite uncle, sweetheart, go on.” he instructs you.

He holds one of your hands with his free one while your other one curls into your seat. Your knuckles turn white as you finish, legs trembling and clamping around his hand as you douse his fingers. You can’t believe he’s made you squirt in public. Embarrassment rises through you once more, and you’ve never felt such a scorching temperature in your life.

You look around to see if anyone has noticed, while Nanami withdraws his hand and crosses his ankle over his knee. You watch him as he sucks his fingers clean of the mess, your mess, with a look of contentment on his face. You, however, are panting heavily while you rest your head in one hand on the table. You’re slumped over, and you couldn’t feel more self-conscious.

You don’t exactly look like you belong here.

“Would you be interested in some dessert?” a waiter asks as he approaches, though his question almost evaporates as he looks at you. Your sweat coated skin and your mussed up hair catches him off guard. Your irregular breathing makes him worry for your well-being. “Are you alright, Miss? You look…” he finds himself at a loss of what to even say. He knows he needs to be polite, but you almost look ill.

“She’s fine, just a little warm and worked up.” your dear uncle intervenes, smiling at the waiter graciously as he interlocks his fingers and rests his chin atop them. “Isn’t that right, sweetheart? I’m sure you’ll cool down after some ice cream.”

You nod, doing what you can to pull yourself together. You’d hate to embarrass your favourite uncle, after all. What if he doesn’t invite you back to do this again?

“Wonderful, sir.” the waiter smiles as he holds up a pad of paper with a pen to take your dessert orders. “You make a lovely couple, by the way.” you aren’t sure if he’s being polite out of obligation to his job, or if he genuinely feels that way. But you and your uncle share a knowing smile with each other, and yours only grows wider as he brushes a fallen section of hair out of your face.

“We aren’t a couple.” he starts. “I’m her uncle.”

© 2024 rinhaler

[nemesis-writer]

[Unwanted Ransom(Chapter 6)]

Masterlist Oxytocin

TW- some shows of mental illness

10 years ago...

"Xerxes come on say something this is a safe place."

"Then why is there a camera?"

"It's there just in case you get-"

"I get what, crazy? Yeh, lady I know the drill"

"It says in your file that you have gone through multiple doctors in the past since your mother's death."

"And what makes you think you can fix me?"

"Because you are special, you have so much potential, and you put it all to waste."

"Who cares? My so called 'family', if I can recall they abandoned me, neglected me, and one of the little brats scarred me." Yep you obviously know who I'm talking about

"Xerxes, don't put the blame on others."

"You've been married for 15 years, three kids, one teen, one toddler, and one infant.

You're parents are divorced and no matter how many times you and your husband hate each other you wanna stay married in order to prevent the same trauma you had pass on to your kids.

Did I get it correct? Oh wait don't answer that I'm always correct." I sighed laying my head down.

"And you've become observant when it comes to hurting others, see I've studied your pattern of behaviour based on the reviews all your other doctors have represented to me before I took this case. And boy was it a long read.

Technically I'm entitled to tell you anything that could help you. And you thought that you could go through me?"

"I don't give a fuck what people say, who do I trust? No one, if a friend wants to jump on train tracks, don't expect me to hold their hand.

I don't give a damn what they insinuate about me anymore, I am an Amala never a Wayne, so I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to." And with that I abruptly stood up and grabbed my bag, I head out there.

The only reason I went there because, my 'dad' heard that I got into a fight and handcuffed the brat in the janitor's closet.

Just suck it up Xerxes, in a few years, you can finally escape them.

'Just suck it up' That's the advice I'd always tell myself no matter how much I cried, scream, or hurt myself.

Present...

"AHHHH, PETE, THERE IS A FUCKING BUILDING!!!!" I screamed as I held on tight to him.

"JENNY MOVE YOUR HAIR, OH SHIT!!!" he lost a bet so he had to swing me from Vincent's house to dad's. When we finally descended, I sighed and laid on the floor for a while.

"Y'know MJ would normally puke with this." He sighed.

"I'm built different" And I walked normally inside my house, I didn't feel any signs of...

fuck

oh wait

Oh shit

never-mind

I rushed to my bedroom's toilet and hurled a lot. Gosh, I should've listened to MJ. With that I washed my face, and brushed my mouth. I went down-stairs ignoring my surroundings.

I kinda had a crush on Pete for a while, but then I met Vincent and felt like Pete is a brother to me.

"AYOO, PETE LET'S GO WATCH SAW 2-" I immediately cut myself off when I saw, something I thought was a dream.

oh wait

it can't be

tell me I'm dreaming.

OH SHIT....

"Hey baby bird-" Richard stuttered, and tried to hug me.

"Back off Grayson, dad what the fuck is going on."

"Xerxes-"

"Who said I was talking to you limp-dick? Now dad seriously what the hell is going on here?" I looked at dad with puppy eyes, gosh I'm so adorable.

"Now, they just came here to drop your stuff." He explained.

"They are not my things they are Xerxes' things, I only things that I need are what I have now." I stated, as I looked at the cunt who ruined my life, I only sighed.

"Xerxes-"

"Zip it Timothy, or I'll tear you're tongue from your head." I stated, I've been watching the Originals again, and might I add, Nikklaus' has been looking good.

"Xerxes-" Jason tried to start. But I cut him off with a glare, he then corrected himself.

"Jennifer, we miss you and we apologise-"

"For what? Neglecting me? Abandoning me? LEAVING ME TO DIE?"

"We didn't mean to." They all protested.

"Bullshit!"

"Language!" Dad sighed.

"When is my birthday?"

"January 7?"

"No, it's September 8, what the hell is wrong with you people?" I was eager to run and ditch these people and run up to my room.

"Xerxes, you're my sister come on." He tried to grab me, but I dodged it and grabbed his hand spinning him downwards. Thanks Nat.

"Touch me one more time, and your arm won't be the only thing that will hurt."

I immediately rushed upstairs and ran to my room, locking it, which activates voice-recognition. Gosh, I was so angry with them. I started to get really angry and accidentally punched a hole in my wall that was connected to Morgan's room.

"JENNY!!!" Oh fuck.

"SORRY M! I'll fix it later." And with that I just dropped onto the bed. I grabbed my phone and texted Vincent.

Jinx- Hey V

V- Hey Jen, how r u?

Jinx- My previous fucked-up family is back now

V- damn, wanna hang tommorow? 🙂

Jinx- Sure, but I gotta lotta hw tho 😢

V- call me if you can then 🤙🏻

And with that I decided to lay down and wonder how fucked up my life could get. I started to fall asleep so I decided to shut down all of my devices, in order to avoid the annoying sound of the 'Brady Bunch' trying to text me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N- It could've been longer if my dumbass didn't accidentally delete my first draft, could've been so much better.

Taglist

@lunayaps, @not-aya, @iluvcatzz, @vanessa-boo, @ivyrose9194

[hotchnerwrites]

Holy Ground

Pairing: Robert Chase x reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: SFW, submissive & pathetic Chase, religious references, a lot of catholic guilt, corruption k1nk, rope restraints

A/N: Hello, hello, it's been a while. This one is written for my dear friend @ineffablestardust . Hope you all enjoy it!! There will be a part two soon, that will be nsfw 👀 Keep an eye out for that :)

Dividers by @/cafekitsune

My requests are open, send me stuff!

Chase’s mind was in disorder. 

His arms were restrained behind his back with thick, black ropes, the rough strands cutting into his wrists as he knelt on a cold, hard floor. Yet he felt no pain. A bead of sweat trickled down the side of his face and down against his neck. The position he was in felt strangely familiar, though it had never been voluntary before. When he was young, his mother had always insisted that he kneel in the pews of their church during prayer, hands clasped tight, and head bowed in reverence. But that had been an act of devotion. 

This? This wasn’t devotion. 

This wasn’t even a prayer. No, this was punishment.

For wanting you. For letting his body betray his mind. Years of mental resilience broken down by just the scent of your skin. By the sound of your laugh. By the look in your eyes. 

His chest rose and fell erratically, breaths falling in shallow gasps. A dull throb registered in the back of his mind from kneeling, but it was nothing compared to the twisting, gnawing sensation in his gut. Thick ropes of guilt coiled in his abdomen, spreading through his veins like venom. Chase had learned these feelings a lifetime ago— classic Catholic guilt instilled in him from the day he started speaking. Drilled into his mind repeatedly every Sunday. Whispered into his ears by his mother at night. Burned into his soul by the priests to whom he had confessed every sin so they could scrub him clean. 

Thou shalt not commit adultery.

The commandant pulsed in his mind like a sickening drumbeat. The stillness of the room only amplified the wild rush of his thoughts. A lock of hair fell over his face, damp with sweat. The strands stuck to his skin, but he dared not move it out of the way. Instead, his eyes flickered over to you. 

There you sat on the edge of the bed. Head cocked to one side, watching him like a hawk. There was amusement in your eyes, but your gaze was predatory as it fell on him, like a lion sizing up its prey. And he was your prey, wasn’t he?

Even from the floor, Chase could feel it in every fibre of his being. That pull, the magnetic force that he couldn’t escape since the day he met you. Restrained as he was, his body struggled to be closer to you. 

Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Chase yearned for your touch, your proximity. But he also hated himself for it, for the weakness he felt, and how every instinct he had screamed at him to break free of the ropes and do whatever it took to feel you. Every part of him wanted to give in to embrace the temptation. And you were giving it to him like a sweet poison. 

“You’re so tense, Chase,” you said, voice soft but laced with a power that kept him on his knees. “I can see you fighting, honey, but you don’t have to. Just… let go.”

His heart hammered in his chest as your hand reached out, brushing the side of his face with a tenderness that made his stomach tighten. It was a simple touch, but it felt like a branding iron.

"Do you know how long I’ve waited for you to finally understand what you are?" you whispered, moving in closer. His body tensed even more as you leaned down to whisper in his ear, your breath hot against his skin. "I’ve watched you struggle, Chase. I’ve watched you pretend to be a good little boy, so controlled, so... obedient.”

The word lingered in his mind—obedient. Was that how he had always been? Always following the rules, the commands, the rituals that kept him locked in a cage of guilt? He had spent his life by the book—never questioning, never challenging. His entire existence was governed by the comfort of obedience. He had never made a choice, professional or personal, that wasn’t dictated by a rule or ritual. He had learned to find a certain luxury in this. But now, kneeling here in front of you, it felt as if everything he knew was unravelling.

The rhythmic clicking of your heels as you circled him was hypnotic. The walls seemed to be closing in with every step, the air thick with tension. 

“You don’t have to pretend anymore,” your voice cut through the haze settling over his thoughts. Your fingers ghosted down the side of his neck, tracing the line of his jaw, and he couldn't help but shiver.

His lips parted, but no words came out. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t move. He could only feel. And what he felt was... need. A raw, primal need.

“I know what you want, Chase,” you whisper in his ear.

He wanted to pray. He wanted the floor to open up and swallow him. He wanted to scream. But there was no voice left in him, only the swirling hunger taking over every sense of his, impossible to ignore.

“You want to feel free.”

It felt like a question, but it wasn’t. You both knew the answer, even though Chase wanted to deny it all. The relief he had once found in submission, in following the rules, now felt suffocating. He had been conditioned to stay in line but he had nothing left to anchor him to the shore. He felt paralysed by the weight of the choice he now faced.

Chase could feel the warmth of your breath against his lips now. “Say it,” you beg, the words like honey. 

He wasn’t sure when it happened. Was it when you placed a hand on his chest, the heat of your touch searing through his clothes? Or was it when you repeated your command, voice solicitous yet soft?

“Yes.”

The words escaped him like a confession. 

What had he just done?

This wasn’t him. This wasn’t the man who had always obeyed, who had always followed the rules. This was something else. Something reckless.

His breath hitched in his throat as the gravity of his choice settled over him. He had never made a decision like this before. He had never chosen for himself. But now there was no going back. The relief was almost immediate, unexpected—a flood of release he hadn’t known he was craving.

It wasn’t just about the act, the surrender. It was about the permission he had just given himself. 

Chase’s voice cracked as he spoke again. His actions were automatic, even reflexive— a prayer ingrained into his bones. 

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”

But this time, there would be no priest to forgive him, no ritual to cleanse him. And for the first time in his life, Robert Chase did not want absolution.

Chase slowly lifted his head, blonde strands shrouding his vision. His eyes fell at your feet and slowly made their way up the length of your body. When he finally met your gaze, you were smiling.

Not a sweet, comforting smile, but a cruel and knowing one. A smile that told him that he had just sealed his fate.

And for a crystal clear moment, Chase realised he was feeling something he hadn’t in years— relief.

It wasn’t salvation. It wasn’t peace. But it was freedom.

And that was something he hadn’t known he needed until now.

Thank you for reading! I appreciate any likes/comments/reblogs/follows. Constructive criticism is welcome. Do not plagiarise my content and/or post it anywhere without crediting me.

pt. 2

[cutecurly-hair]

Hearts Unleashed (Part 5)

Pairing: Nick Nelson x Black!fem!reader

Warning: Fluff, Smut, Body Shaming

Words: 5,738

The weekend flew by, and before I knew it, Monday had arrived with its usual speed. I found myself back in the same classroom, at the same place and time, but something felt a little different. Nick and I had been texting non-stop over the weekend. It was just casual conversation, nothing special, but for some reason, it made me inexplicably happy.

I noticed a bunch of curly black hair in front of me. Charlie and I hadn't talked since that day. I sent him a bunch of texts, but he didn't reply. I checked with Ellie and Tao, and they hadn't heard from him either. It wasn't just me he was avoiding; it seemed like he was avoiding everyone.

Interrupting my thoughts, Nick said, "This is Nellie," showing me a picture of his dog, and she was the cutest thing in the world.

"Oh, my god, she's so cute! I've always wanted to have a pet, but ever since our cat died when I was little, we just never got a new one," I said, a tinge of sadness in my voice.

Nick's brows furrowed in concern, a cute little habit that I couldn't help but notice when he was puzzled or concerned about something. "You know, maybe you should come round to my house and meet her. Plus, my mom has been bugging me to invite you over" he suggested. I couldn't contain the smile that spread across my face, I don't know if it was because of Nick's mom has been asking about me or Nick inviting me to his house.

"Are you free on Saturday?" he asked hopefully, his brown eyes searching mine.

"Yeah, I think so," I replied, feeling a flutter in my stomach.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ +

"Charlie! Charlie! Wait up!" I yelled across the bustling school hallway, dodging through students those rugby drills are finally proving some use.

Finally catching up to him, I took a moment to catch my breath. "What happened with you? I've been calling and texting you. I was even this close to coming to your house to make sure you were alive," I said, demonstrating the minuscule gap between my thumb and forefinger to prove my point.

Charlie turned to me, his face a mix of surprise and sheepishness. "Sorry, I've been dealing with some stuff, and I needed a bit of space. Didn't mean to worry you."

I crossed my arms, trying to hide my concern behind a facade of annoyance. "A simple 'I need space' text would have sufficed, you know."

He scratched his head, a nervous grin appearing on his face. "Yeah, I know. I'll keep you in the loop next time. Promise."

As we walked, the tension melted away, and our usual banter resumed. Charlie might not be telling me everything, but our friendship stayed solid, thankfully.

"Ugh, I've got a ton to catch you up on," I exclaimed, pulling him into a tight hug. His laughter filled the air. "Do I detect some juicy gossip?" he teased, a cheeky grin spreading across his face. Even though I haven't talked with him for a couple of days, I still couldn't help but miss him. I had every right to be mad, but I knew deep down Charlie was keeping something from me, but it was within his right to tell me when he is ready.

"Oh, you have no idea," I replied, joining in the laughter.

"You look fine, sweetheart," my mother remarked as she emerged from the archway. She must have noticed my tenth attempt at fixing my hair and the frustrated sigh that accompanied it. Admittedly, I may or may not have put on a little makeup. Sensing my mom's curious gaze, I decided to address it before she could.

"I'm going to a friend's house. I'll be back around 5," I informed her, trying to keep it casual.

"Are you heading over to Charlie's?"

I hesitated for a moment, then replied, "Um, no, his name is Nick," hoping my response would slip past without her catching the name. My mother, sensing something, walked over to me and handed me my coat and gloves, well aware of my tendency to get cold easily. I was honestly not made for cold weather.

"Is this a boy from school? You know how I feel about you going to somebody's house," she probed, hinting at her concerns. I knew I had to choose my words carefully to navigate this conversation if I wanted to be allowed to leave the house.

"He's my classmate in English. I want him to look over my paper that's due next week," I lied, maintaining a calm tone and hoping she wouldn't see through the deception.

"You've never needed help with your papers before. You're really good at writing," she remarked, clearly skeptical of my story.

"This paper is 50% of my grade. I have to do well on it," I asserted, emphasizing the importance of the assignment and knowing that grades were a language my mother understood well. Having dealt with her expectations back home, I knew I had to convince her to let me go.

She looked pleasantly surprised. "Yes, you're right. Grades are important. I'm surprised I didn't have to remind you," she smiled, genuinely pleased to see me showing concern for my academic performance. Seizing the moment, I quickly put on my coat and gloves, ready to head out the door.

"Come back in time for dinner!" she yelled as I walked away. I gave a quick nod to show I heard and hurried off before she could ask more questions.

My hands were practically freezing, despite the gloves doing a lousy job of keeping the cold out. I stubbornly kept them on, pulled my coat tighter, and power-walked down the street. The bone-chilling London winter seemed to pierce right through me, making me pick up the pace even more.

I stood there for a moment, torn between knocking and ringing the doorbell. My indecisiveness was playing its usual tricks on me. But before I could finally decide, the door swung open. There was Nick, giving me a gentle smile.

"Hey," he greeted. It was kinda unexpected to see him so chill and casual, a side of him I hadn't really seen beyond the school environment.

"Hey," I smiled back, deciding to ditch my gloves that weren't doing much to fight off the cold anyway.

Nick made a gesture towards a delightful chocolate and white mix Border Collie. "Uh... this is Nellie."

"Hey, Nellie. You're so adorable," Reaching down to pet the dog behind its ears. The warmth of Nellie's fur against my hand brought an unexpected comfort, making the chilly weather outside seem momentarily forgotten.

"Did you do something with your hair?" he asked, his eyes locked onto my puff ponytail that had consumed a good chunk of my morning. Lately, I'd been experimenting with new hairstyles, breaking away from my usual braids.

I immediately reached up to touch my hair, a hint of worry crossing my face. "Wait, is it bad?"

He shook his head without hesitation, offering a reassuring grin. "No, you look… it looks great." His compliment made me feel like the effort I put into styling my hair that morning was totally worth it.

"Okay, you better come in before Nellie thinks we're going for a walk," he said, his eyes lingering on mine for a moment longer than necessary.

"Okay"

Walking into his house, I couldn't help but notice how incredibly homey it was. The place just radiated coziness, making it clear that it wasn't just a house; it was a warm and welcoming home. Definitely nothing compared to mine, my house was just cold and empty still filled with boxes. I noticed a few portraits on the wall, nowhere really of his dad. Which I have nothing to brag since my parents have been divorce.

He led me upstairs to his bedroom, which I couldn't help but feel uneasy, like it was way to personal...like I shouldn't be here. But as soon as I saw his room it was very clean...? Definitely not what I was expecting.

Nick saw the look on my face "What? What's wrong?" he asked looking around confused. I couldn't help but chuckle, breaking a smile "It's so clean in here...it's weird," But overall, it suits him with the rugby poster littered all over the walls with a cute little light hanging over his bed. There it was again, that small hint of vanilla, smoke and a mix of musk but the musk was a lot stronger.

Dramatically, he placed his hand over his chest, gasping, "Are you seriously thinking that I am weird because I know how to clean,"

"I just never expected something like this," I said, gesturing to the room. Walking around, I noticed a few books on the shelf. "Especially for a rugby player. I mean, aren't you guys supposed to be dirty, by default?" I picked a book off the shelf, the title reading "Le Petit Prince (French Edition)."

A French Novel?

Sensing my curiosity, Nick blushed, swiftly taking the book from my hand and putting it back on the shelf. "My dad gifted it to me, but I barely read it," he admitted, a touch of embarrassment in his expression.

Sensenig that his dad was a sour subject I decided to drop it. Still observing his room, noticing the little trinkets of action figure and posters, until my eyes landing on the little snacks on the TV stand plus Mario Kart next to the Nintendo, excitement bubbled up within me as I took in the familiar sight.

"You have Mario Kart!" I exclaimed, my eyes lighting up at the sight of the game. Memories of playing it flooded back.

Nick's eyes beamed. "You like Mario Kart? Do you know how to play?" he asked, a playful smile on his face.

I nodded. "Me and my Dad used to play all the time when I was little. I still do, just never really picked it back up," I said, shrugging.

"Do you want to play?" he asked, holding the Nintendo playfully.

I smiled. "You don't even have to ask."

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ +

"Come on, Come on I'm in the lead! Can you just let me win" Nick yelled, he was particularly begging at the point.

"It doesn't matter cause you're not going to win," I smirked. He's literally the King of Rugby and practically wins at everything. This is one thing I'm really good at, so I am definitely not going to let him win.

"Can you let me win one time? You've won five or six games."

"I am literary going easy one you,"

"No!" he groaned at the screen when he saw my Princess Peach cross the finish line. I couldn't help but laugh at his reaction.

"You need more practice, Nick. Maybe I can give you some tips," I teased, reveling in the playful banter. It was one area where I knew I could outshine the rugby star.

He pouted, "I don't need tips. I just need a fair chance." The adorable pout he sported was enough to make anyone's heart melt.

"I think this is just Karma kicking you in the ass; you can't be good at everything," I said sarcastically, while grabbing a little popcorn.

He nodded in agreement, "No, you're exactly right. You're just good at everything," he admitted.

"No, I'm not," I chuckled. But there was something in the way he looked at me, and it's been happening a lot lately. I can't quite figure out why he has this knack for making me feel this way. It's as if a single glance from him is all it takes to turn me into a bundle of nerves.

"You are. You're a proper little nerd. And you don't even know it."

"I am not!" I protested, playfully nudging him.

"Let's see. You're good at video games. Literally all school subjects, but especially math's. Amazing at photography. Befriending dogs, and you are good a sports manager. Like I have never seen our gear so clean before-"

"Shut up!" I interrupted in a playful groan, feeling warm flush spread across my cheeks. Covering his mouth, while pushing him onto the bed. It seems this was the only way of shutting him up.

"You know it's true," he mumbled from beneath my hand, a blush coloring his cheeks. "Get off me. Seriously, get off," he added with a laugh, the room filled with our shared laughter.

The laughter quickly faded, leaving a lingering warmth between us. I don’t understand this feeling, I have never felt this way before. Our eyes were saying one thing, but our bodies were saying another. In that stillness, I became aware of the soft sound of snow falling outside.

"Oh, my god" I was star-stuck looking out the window.

His eyes followed mine, and as he turned to the window, a quiet gasp escaped his lips.

"It's snowing."

We just look at each other we didn't have to say anything, we jumped up from the bed, rushing down the stairs putting our coats on. The air was charged with anticipation, I was on the brink of witnessing snow for the very first time in my fifteen years. Nick handing me a hoodie in the process.

I shook my head refusing the offer, but he only shoved it back in my face,

"You were freezing when I first saw you this morning," he chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eyes. But he wasn't taking no for an answer.

I couldn't help but laugh, realizing he had a point. Gratefully accepting the hoodie, I slipped it on, feeling the warmth envelop me trying to ignore his overwhelming scent.

"It's a bit big," you said, glancing at the blue fabric draping down to my knees.

"It looks good on you," he said breathlessly, he was looking directly at me. Two compliments in one day, that was definitely something.

It was absolutely beautiful outside, the cold didn't bother me as much as before, it may or may not have something to do with the hoodie I was wearing.

Nick wasted no time sticking his tongue out to catch the tiny snowflakes. His cheeks had a rosy flush, and there was something about the way the light hit his hair, making it look a bit browner. He looked marvelous.

Caught staring, I locked eyes with him, and there was a fleeting smile on his face. Before I could fully process it, he playfully threw a whole snowball at me, leaving me in disbelief. I hurriedly made a makeshift snowball. It instantly became a snowball fight.

For a moment, just a moment everything seemed perfect, the way he laughed when Nellie was eating the snow. To when he brushed the snow off my hair. The way he took pictures of me when I made snow angles. When he laid beside me all I did was listen to him talk any and everything.

It was just perfect.

I couldn't shake the knot in my stomach, and suddenly, those stolen glances and shared moments held a new weight. When he looks at me, it's like he's seeing something beyond the surface. There's this intensity in his gaze, and I can't help but admire the way he looks at me. The way his eyes light up when he smiles, the little expressions that make him uniquely him. The realization hit me -

I have a crush on Nick Nelson

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ +

"Are you even listening to what I'm saying?" Ellie snapped her fingers in front of my face, trying to grab my attention. My eyes, however, were glued to the three little bubbles dancing across my screen, eagerly awaiting Nick's response.

Ellie couldn't resist taking a peek at my screen, and a knowing smirk crept onto her face as she shook her head. "Oh, I see what's got you all distracted now."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm listening," I mumbled, tearing my eyes away from the screen to meet Ellie's amused gaze.

She chuckled, leaning back in her chair. "Nick, huh? The mystery guy who's got you glued to your phone?"

Blushing, I tried to downplay it. "We're just chatting, you know, about random stuff."

"Random stuff, right," Ellie teased, wiggling her eyebrows. "I've seen that look before. You've got the 'crush glow' all over your face."

Rolling my eyes, I shrugged. "Oh, come on. It's not like that. We're just friends."

Eyebrow raised; Ellie smirked. "Friends who text 24/7, interesting definition of friendship."

I sighed, realizing she saw through my attempt at nonchalance. "Okay, fine. Maybe there's a tiny crush. But seriously, don't make it a big deal."

Glancing out the window, I spotted Nick chatting with a pretty girl that I always seen around school. They were standing so close, and her laughter reached my ears even through the closed window. My heart sank as I watched them share a moment. She was effortlessly charming and ever so pretty, and the way Nick's eyes lit up in response made my stomach churn. It felt like they were in their own bubble, leaving me on the outside looking in.

Ellie looked at me and she frowned and nudged me gently. "Y/N, what's going on? You look like you've just seen a ghost."

I forced a weak smile, attempting to mask the turmoil inside. "Oh, nothing. Just caught up in my thoughts, you know?"

But Ellie wasn't buying it. She followed my gaze, her eyes narrowing as she took in the scene outside. "Oh...that's Imogen. That's one of Nick's close friends,"

"Oh, really?" I tried to sound casual, but I could feel a knot forming in my stomach. "Just a friend, huh?"

Ellie shot me a knowing look, her eyebrows raised. "Y/N, are you getting jealous?"

"What? No!" I protested a bit too quickly, my cheeks heating up. "I mean, why would I be jealous? We're just friends, like I said."

Ellie chuckled, clearly amused by my reaction. "Sure, just friends. a friend who you have a crush on."

I rolled my eyes, attempting to change the subject. "Let's focus on something else. What were you saying before about our plans for the weekend?"

Ellie raised an eyebrow, clearly not letting me off the hook that easily. "Smooth transition, but we'll get back to this later. Anyway, I was thinking we could do a little movie night at Tao's. We can bring some snacks, binge-watch our favorite films, and just unwind."

"Yeah, that sounds great," I replied, trying to shake off the uneasy feeling. "Movies and snacks sound like the perfect distraction."

As we continued discussing our weekend plans, my mind kept drifting back to Nick and Imogen. I couldn't help but wonder if there was something more between them. Were they just friends, or was there a deeper connection? The uncertainty gnawed at me, and I found myself absentmindedly scrolling through our previous texts.

The guys were practicing for an upcoming match, and I was just here cleaning the Rugby they have already gotten so dirty after a couple of throws. Occasionally, Nick would glance over in my direction, offering a reassuring smile or a quick wave.

"I can't believe they have cleaning rugby balls. Doing the dirty work while we get all the glory?" Charlie teased, nudging me with his elbow.

I chuckled, playfully swatting at him. "Someone's got to keep these in top-notch condition. Can't have you all playing with muddy balls, can we?"

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Speaking of action, I noticed I haven't been seeing you lately. Any particular reason?"

I hesitated for a moment, debating how much to reveal. Finally, I decided to open up to Charlie, knowing he'd always knows what to do. "Well, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You know, get some 'guy advice.'"

"I think I am the worse person to give 'guy advice'. especially now" Charlie looked down the ground.

Noticing the sadness in his eyes, I joked around with him "Oh come on, Charlie, don't be so hard on yourself. You're my go-to guy for advice, whether you like it or not."

He managed a small grin, "Alright, shoot. What do you need from my services this time?"

I sighed, glancing back at Nick on the field, his focused demeanor contrasting with the playful banter of the other players. "It's just... things have been different lately. We've been hanging out more, texting, you know, normal friend stuff. But I can't help but feel there's something more."

Charlie looked worried as soon as I brought up Nick's name, "Of course this is about Nick Nelson,"

I nodded, "Yeah, it is. I mean, we're friends, but there are these moments, these looks, and it makes me wonder if there's something more. And then today- I don't know... it just hit me differently."

Charlie glanced around to ensure no one was eavesdropping before he spoke. "Look, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but there's something I think you should know."

My heart sank a little, and I furrowed my brows in concern. "What is it, Charlie? You're making me nervous."

He took a deep breath before continuing "Okay so Tao told me to tell you that-

"Wait why couldn't Tao just tell me himself?"

Charlie looked a little uneasy "Because Tao is Tao"

Great he still doesn't like me.

I shook my head, urging Charlie to continue. "Tell me what Tao said."

He took a deep breath before continuing, "Tao found out from a friend who is also friends with Nick, and he said that Nick is single. But he is super interested in this girl that was originally from the all-girls school."

I swallowed the lead in my throat "What girl,"

Charlie sighed looking out onto the field "Her name's Tara Jones,"

My heart sank as Charlie dropped the bomb about Nick's interest in Tara Jones. Her name replayed in my mind like an annoying song on repeat. I couldn't shake off the blame creeping in why did I let myself get attached? Was I just too naive, thinking there could be more between us?

Nick's wave from the field added salt to the wound. I managed a feeble smile and a wave back, but inside, it felt like a whirlwind of emotions. Watching him, I questioned every shared laugh and conversation we had. Were they all just leading up to this moment where he'd be drawn to someone else?

The game raged on in the background, but my world stood still in that painful moment of realization. The cheers from the crowd turned into distant echoes, drowned out by the pounding of my heart, echoing the rhythm of disappointment.

How can I be so stupid.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ +

She was so beautiful, and I could see why Nick might be into her. Browsing through her social media, her confidence and elegance just stood out. It's something I feel like I lack. Her dark skin had this warm, rich tone that glowed in every photo. The more I looked, the more I found myself comparing. It made me question if I could ever match up to someone like her in Nick's eyes. The more I scrolled, the more I felt like an outsider peeking into a world that seemed so different from mine.

"See, I told you," Tao said, peering over my shoulder. Charlie shot him an annoyed look.

"Tao, come on, give it a rest. This doesn't necessarily mean anything," Charlie snapped.

"Like hell it doesn't," Tao retorted. I deeply sighed; their bickering wasn't making the situation any better. Isaac looked at me with a hint of concern.

"We don't even know if she actually likes Nick back," Isaac chimed in, attempting to offer some comfort.

Charlie scoffed, "I'm the one stuck seeing them in class every day, and trust me, it's nauseating. Believe me, he's into you," he added, shooting me a look.

Tao, fixing his gaze on Isaac, cautioned, "I've warned you about fueling romantic fantasies that just won't happen. Life isn't a romance novel, you know." ignoring Charlie reassurance.

"But I want to believe in romance." Isaac wined still looking hopeful. Our heads turned to the door when Ellie came in, Isaac immediately jumped at the chance "Ellie! So, there's this girl at school who Nick's got a crush on?"

"We've heard from multiple sources" Tao cut in, but Isaac completed ignored him "We don't know if they're a thing. Can you talk to her? Since she is in your year"

Isaac's hopeful gaze shifted to Ellie, who raised an eyebrow at his enthusiasm. "Whoa, slow down. First, spill the tea. Who's this mystery girl Nick's into?" Ellie said, playing dumb while glancing at me to check if it was Imogen we were talking about. I just quietly shook my head no

Tao chimed in, "Her name's Tara Jones. She was originally from the all-girls school."

Ellie crossed her arms, processing the information definitely wasn't expecting that. "Tara Jones? She's a sweetheart, I don't know Tara that well. I can just go up to her and ask who she fancies. And I'm, too busy being the cool, mysterious new girl, who everyone wants to hang out with."

Isaac quickly jumped back into the conversation, seizing the opportunity. "We just want to know if there's something going on between her and Nick. You know, for Y/N's peace of mind."

"I'm fine. It's honestly fine. I'm just being an idiot and overthinking things," This whole thing has been stressing me out, more than I realize. It's probably best if I cut my losses now before I get more attached.

Ellie gave me a sympathetic glance rolling her eyes while she sighed "Well, I can try to find out, but no promises, only if I get a chance I'll ask her,"

I flashed her a thankful smile, and Isaac promptly leaped into Ellie's arms. Sometimes, I forget how much of a hopeless romantic he is. Charlie joined in, gesturing for me to join them. Gratefully, I embraced the warmth of the hug. I realized I wouldn't know where I'd be without them.

Tao sat there, glaring, watching the scene.

The next school day rolled around, and I made a quick stop at the boys' locker room to check on inventory, making sure to steer clear of any awkward encounters, especially with Nick Nelson. Luckily, I managed to avoid any unexpected run-ins. However, as I strolled to my next class, it hit me that I'd be sharing a class with him soon. The knot in my stomach tightened, and a sense of unease settled in, a reminder of the events from the day before.

Waving at Charlie as I eased into my seat, a jumble of nerves hit me hard. Concentrating seemed like an impossible task, with my thoughts entirely hijacked by the looming encounter with Nick. What in the world was I even going to say to him, if I mustered the courage to say anything at all? The classroom blurred as my mind grappled with racing thoughts.

"Y/N?" he said, staring right at me with worried eyes.

Finally returning back to earth, I mumbled, "What?"

"You just spaced out," he observed.

Not knowing what to say, I managed a simple "Oh," fiddling with my blue pen, which oddly seemed to help with my nerves. Nick, sensing the habit, scooted closer to me. I swear I could feel his body warmth.

"What's up?" he said, looking directly at me. "I can tell when something's on your mind," he added in a hush, leaning even more closely.

Gosh, I hate the way he makes me feel. The way I act around him is ridiculous. I hate that every time he gets close, my heart races, every touch, every feeling. I hate all of it!

Why does he make me feel this way?

"Do you...Do you want to come to my house later?" I blurted out, causing for Charlie to peek over at me with panic eyes screaming What the hell are you doing!

He looked surprised, but all he can do is smile.

Mom is not going to be here until super late, so I can have the house all to myself. I cleaned from top to bottom of house, throwing all the boxes away and tightening up everything was squared away.

Hearing a knock at the door, it was him standing at my door smiling from ear to ear.

"Hey"

Opening the door for him, "Hey,"

"So, how does this work?" he asked hesitantly, glancing around the room as if unsure of what to capture with my old Canon. The way he held the camera was so awkward, it brought a smile to my face.

Figuring it was a fair trade after all the rugby lessons, I decided to teach Nick a thing or two about photography.

"You can take a picture of anything you like, really. It could be something beautiful, something that grabs your attention, or simply anything that intrigues you," I explained, observing him furrow his brows while peering through the viewfinder.

"Anything?" he asked, seeking confirmation.

I nodded, a spark of enthusiasm lighting up my eyes. "Exactly! That's the beauty of it. Photography allows you to freeze a moment in time, to capture something you love, like, or find amusing. It's incredible how a single image can encapsulate so much emotion, tell a story, or even memories."

Nick listened attentively, his curiosity evident. I continued, "You see, every photo has a story behind it. It's a way of preserving feelings, experiences, and moments that might otherwise fade away. You get to share your perspective with others through the lens, allowing them to see the world through your eyes."

As I spoke, I could see Nick growing more intrigued, absorbing the idea of photography beyond just pressing a button. "Give it a try," I encouraged, "Capture something that stands out to you, something you'd want to remember."

Right as I looked back at Nick, I noticed that fuck, he was looking directly at me. His eyes looked into mine and there it was again, that knot in my stomach. I didn't know what to do, I had completely froze. His eyes seemed different though-

Feeling a buzz in my pocket, I checked my phone. It was a message from my mom, letting me know she wouldn't be home until midnight and that there was lasagna in the fridge. A sigh of relief escaped my lips, knowing I wouldn't have to explain having a boy in my room when she returned.

Hearing a click, I turned to Nick, curious about what had caught his attention through the lens of my camera. "What did you take a picture of?" I asked.

"Just something that I thought was beautiful," Nick replied with a soft smile, his eyes lingering on mine. Raising my eyebrows confused but also curious. He didn't say anything at all, other than putting the camera down.

"Want to watch a movie?" he suggested,

"Already one step ahead of you," I grinned, pulling out one of my favorite Marvel movies.

We settled into the living room couch, time passes by, and my eyelids begin to grow heavy. Waking up to see the credits rolling I quickly sat up. I completely sleep through the whole entire movie.

Looking out the window, it was dark outside, looking at Nick he seemed to be tensed.

"I feel asleep, didn't I?" I chuckled.

Nick's lips curved into a gentle smile, "Yeah, you did. Must have been a comfortable couch."

I stretched my arms, attempting to shake off the drowsiness. "Sorry about that. I guess I needed the nap."

Nick shrugged, "No problem. You looked peaceful."

We sat quietly, the feel of the movie night still in the air. Even with the unexpected nap, the evening felt calm.

"I should probably head home," Nick said, glancing at the time. "It's getting late."

As he stood up, I walked him to the door. Opening it without caring about the cold air seeping in, the night possessed a certain calmness, and the air held a subtle tension, like the moment before something shifts.

"Thanks for inviting me over," Nick said, and for a moment, our eyes met in a way that spoke volumes, yet said nothing at all.

"I wish that you didn't have to go," I admitted, feeling the weight of the night settling in.

"I wish I didn't either," Nick confessed, a hint of reluctance in his voice.

"You look so cuddly like that," he added, his gaze lingering on my knitted sweater.

My eyes softened, and a playful grin tugged at the corners of my lips. "You think so?"

He nodded, smiling back at me. "Yeah, like a giant teddy bear."

I chuckled, feeling a warmth spreading through me that had nothing to do with the sweater. "Well, I guess I'll take that as a compliment."

Nick's cheeks turned a shade of pink, and he scratched the back of his head, a sheepish grin on his face "It's meant to be one," he replied, and we stood there for a moment, the unspoken words hanging in the air.

He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, if I didn't have early morning practice, I might consider staying longer."

I felt a subtle warmth spreading through me. The casual banter, the shared laughter it all felt so easy and right. Yet, there was an unspoken tension, a magnetic pull that lingered between us.

"I guess I'll see you around," Nick said, but he didn't make a move to the open door; it looked like he wanted to say something else he just couldn't find the words.

As he stepped closer, the air between us seemed to shift, and before I knew it, he pulled me into a gentle hug.

Vanilla. Smoke. and Musk

I slowly wrapped my arms around, wanting to not let go, but he quickly pulled away, backing towards the door.

"Um… catch you on Monday," he mumbled, clearing his throat, his gaze fixed anywhere but on me. He melted into the night, leaving me standing there, gaping at the door, with a whirlwind of thoughts spinning through my mind.

Charlie casually peeked around the side of the door, and from the look on his face, it was clear he caught the whole thing.

"Still questioning if he's into you?" Charlie asked, shooting me a knowing look.

Part 6 Link Here: https://www.tumblr.com/cutecurly-hair/759302465187414016/hearts-unleashed-part-6

[aonungyoufuck]

Runaway {Part 9}

Runaway Masterlist

DNI/BYF

Ao'nung x Fem sully reader.

Synopsis: its been a long time. Far to long but Ao'nung makes you diner. Still in the courting phaze. Honestly its just little bit of fluff.

Ao’nung felt it. The water wasn't exactly like home. It was almost a little suffocating. But he figured since you adapted to his home he could adapt to this one. 

He had been thankful that the first day here he had began marking it on his spear before translating it to a board. It had been exactly one year and six months. And he's done his best to keep track of dates. And if memory serves him right. It was almost his birthday too. 

He would say courting has gone well. 

Alongside all that he’s managed to adapt kind of well to the forest. Sure he sucks are climbing, he still can't hunt unless you help. And there are no Ikran here to tame. But hes made Progress with what you two had to work with. 

His skin feels dryer than normal and he’s spending more time in the water. Which helped in making tools and collecting more food that way. 

But you took notice of it too. Luckily for you on one day where he was deep into the lake. You manage to sneak into his hut. Finding the wood that he had been carving. And lucky for you. You also remembered what day his birthday fell on. 

“What are you doing in here?”

“Ao’nung! God i swear one day im going to drop dead from fright” You poke. 

The little pod was nothing like back home. And you could tell it could use some work. 

“Just came to see if i can help fix up your little area a little. All i have to worry bout is my hammock so i thought you may want me to fix it up a little?”

He rose a brow before sighing. “Sure. I mean i know this place is falling apart too” 

“Plus i have a slug coating that can help with the wood rot.” You commented back. 

He smiled. Extending his hand out. In it a small but shiny crystal. One that he had made sure to polish and refine to perfection. 

“For you” 

“Ao’nung..Where did you find this?” 

“There’s surprisingly a lot of stuff at the bottom of this lake”

Now When he had first began to court you He had no one to talk to. But he did remember Lo’ak asking him how to go about courting his sister. So he had a minor clue on your courting rituals not being the same. 

And he was a little bit reluctant to ask you. But you had told him however he wants to, You are more than willing to accept his courting rituals. 

You took notice of the hole that he most likely drilled into the stone. Smiling, taking the hand you wove it into your hair. 

“Ao’nung your hand..” 

Ao’nung quickly took his hand away from yours. “Its nothing” 

“Does it hurt?”  

His hands were dry and blistering. Slightly red at his knuckles and finger tips. “No. Kind of”

“You should have told me” 

“I didnt want you to worry any more than you have” 

“Ao’nung”

You grabbed his hand. Careful with the blisters as you gently peppered them with kisses. “Prepare me a fire, please?” 

“What for?”

“Well, i still have year of Tsahik training under my knowledge. Not to mention we are in the forest” 

Ao’nung rolled his eyes, smirking a little as he could only help but sigh. “Alright alright fine. Just be safe alright?”

“Dont worry love. Ill be back soon” You bid him a quick goodbye before heading off again. 

Ao’nung was glad you hadn’t looked more into the place. He had been working hard on making you the greatest meal he could make. Cooking or preparing food wasn’t his strong suit. But watching his mother and Tsireya for so many years he picked up a thing or two. 

He figured you were also tired of the Teylu and the fish he could gather. Lucky for him he had found fruits a while ago and had planted only two. It had borne good fruit and he was Glad. He wanted to try some more. 

He was glad too that Kiri had showed him your Omatikaya spiciest dish. 

You were taking your time. But he was glad too for the food was ready by the time he had finally seen you come by. 

“Ao’nung… Oh! What’s this all about?” 

“ I thought you may like if i prepared food for you this time” 

You smiled Sitting next to him as you looked at the fire and the food. “I love it thank you” 

Ao’nung handed you his hands. But not before giving you a new Clay Bowl. 

It had been like this since you two ran off. You would provide the highest amount of food, And he would provide the materials. Given that he had better access to it. But he wanted to bring up a point tonight. 

So while you began to mash the paste and wrap his hands he decided to speak. 

“Do you think. Maybe you could teach me to hunt some more?” 

“I can. But are you sure? I mean you have been spending a lot more time in the water”

“I want to provide more for you. How will you accept me if i do not?”

“I have accepted you a long time ago dear Ao’nung” 

Ao’nung didn’t know if it was because of the lack of people. But you had been so bold. And it made him more reserved.  Shy which he never was. It made his heart beat for you more. 

“If you want to know, I can teach you. But Know that im okay with the system we have”

“I like to provide. But i will admit it was fun to cook” Ao’nung admitted. 

You smiled. Kissing his hands as you noticed that his skin on his legs was also cracking. 

He looked so dry compared to the amount of time he was spending in the water. It concerned you and you made yourself a mental note to make more paste just in case it ever bled. 

You also took this as a good way to make sure he was eating. Giving he looked a little more sunken in than usual

“Alright alright you big baby ill teach you”  You could only smile. 

Laying down next to each other wasn’t uncommon but it was often that you didn't do this. Staring out into the sky. It was nice to see it. To feel the wind pass you by. To let the wonders of pandora engulf you. 

“What is that?” Ao’nung commented, making you look at what had gingerly landed on his hand. 

“Atokirina” You let out a gasp as you took a look at the wood sprite that had landed on Ao’nung. 

Little by little and one by one they surrounded you two. Engulfing you in a light show you could only dream of. 

Feeling like the young adults you were two years ago when Ao’nung had told you those sweet nothings. 

“There must be a tree of souls nearby,” you commented. Laughing a little as you watched them leave. 

“We should go find it one day” Ao’nung suggested. 

“No. It is sacred to another clan. It would be rude if we did so” 

Ao’nung could only laugh at your words. 

—----------------------------------------------

“One year Tonowari” Ronal spoke through her tired voice. All this time she had wept for her son. She often stayed in her pod helping when needed and leaving when left alone. 

Her voice lost its fierce strength and now it was tired. Strained and harsh because she had grown so tired of it. Tired of wanting to understand why Ao’nung had left. 

But she knew. She knew too well and she oftentimes found herself upset for  not making an effort to understand her son’s devotion to you. 

“I know Ma Ronal” 

“What is this Tonowari” she spoke. She was so worried. And whilst she blamed you in the beginning. She was worried for you too. It was like having another Daughter. For Eywa’s sakes

She had accepted Lo’ak to Court Tsireya as to not lose her too. Oftentimes she found herself by the spirit tree. Wondering, asking for their safe return. Asking her that if you two return, she will happily take you two back. No matter the costs. 

Ateyo had grown so quickly and she was missing out on her oldest son. 

She would clean his spear, his nets and anything just so that if he were to come back. He would be coming back to what was normal. 

Oftentimes Tonowari found her. Reliving the memories of Ao’nung. Like a baby he was. Like the young boy he was. The Kid Ronal Adored so much now that he was gone. He too prayed to Eywa for your return soon. For it broke his heart to much to see her in such pain.

----------------------

Taglist: @simp-erformarvelwomen / @luvlykrispy / @yeosxxx / @fanboyluvr / @littlethingsinlife / @eirianna / @elegantkidfansoul / @tsukibaby1 / @adaiasafira / @1-800-not-simping / @reggiesslut / @cmfouatslota77 / @slutforsmut4ever / @zatarias-pandora / @valovesyou / @tachiara / @ghost-lantern / @victorianhorrors / @irlydontknoanymore / @hellok1ttycake / @sweetheartlizzie07 / @audigay

[mikolaj-17]

Sylwester, the spoiled little princess of my oc roster for the time being.

this is something very quick to battle art block and get me back into the groove of painting, especially this more dry style since its a lot more freeing than my other perfectionist style which takes days and days to make an inch of progress 🥲. tho i do have other pieces that im chipping away at, and hopefully they will be finished some time in the next few months..? wish me luck ive spent over 20 hours each on 2 of them and am nowhere near halfway done 🫠. one of those has been fermenting since what, august?? and id rather perish than let it go so.

oki technical stuff outta the way time for lore dump :3 (under cut bc ill probably be yapping for a whiiiilleeee):

ok!!!!!!!! this is Sylwester Stahlbaum (like the nutcracker- characters are based off of music/composers/yk the drill), adopted son of the Grand Duke and Duchess of Stahlbaum.

personality wise hes a shy, anxious, introverted person. current timeline he’s 18, and is figuring out noble life. its not easy but he’s doing his best.

obviously he wasn’t always noble, and actually started out as a lower middle class citizen, born to parents of the same status. his early life was rather cozy and normal, two very loving parents. so life was great up until he was like 8 and tragedy struck, and his family was tracked and massacred, hunted for pretty things like his mother’s eyes (bright, glowing orange), and his father’s hair (pale iridescent silver). Sylwester managed to escape by a hair’s breadth and wound up on the streets. with no where else to go, he stayed.

soooo cue like 10 ish years of Having A *Totally* Great Time (filled with things too graphic for the time being). on his 18 birthday, he was sneaking around, looking for a place to hide from the cold, and was lured in by the scent of fresh sweet pastries. it lured him to a vent in a wall, which he pried open and crawled inside. he’s a superb escape artist, bc he wound up somewhere he wasn’t supposed to!!! anyway whoops pit of the vent he finds himself in a super grand gold hallway. doors everywhere. he sneaks around, finds an empty room w a cart of food. pastries. he takes a fruit cake and hasn’t felt this warm happiness in *years*. he continues to sneak around and finds a servant hallway abc goes in. at the end, he ateps out snd finds himself in a huuuuugee circular gallery w a massive decorated pine tree standinf in the middle. no ine is in tge gallery, and under the tree theres a bunch of presents. he hears footsteps in the distance and panics, so he goes under the tree. oops he gets tired aaaaand falls asleep. he wakes up to ppl tugging at his arms and screaming bloody murder. oops hes been discovered.

but 🍑!!! a woman looks him dead in the face, determined, asks him why he’s here. he gives her a *very* watered down version of his story (parents died when i was young and i was homeless for years). she sympathizes with him and asks if hed be willing to live here, with her and the dandadadaaaa grand duke!!!! he’s like •_• sure and whooooooooo!!! adopted!!!!

and thats the gist of his backstory. its not everything but everything would be too much. so.

hhh i forgor to take progress shots bc this was done at like 2 am,,

+ an extra thing of his official business fit :>>

[felicitysmoaksx]

Anonymous asked: For your advent challenge, can you do sarah x connor with big brother severide?

Day 6 of the Advent Prompt Challenge! I know its really late, but some personal stuff has come up that has made this month really hard and has left me less time to write than I thought. So I'm extending the challenge through till New Years and hope you'll understand.

Her stomach ached. And not from a stomach ache either, but from the hole that the wall that fell on her and punctured a hole in her stomach and if she was more aware, she probably would've been more worried that this was the first time Kelly was seeing Connor as her boyfriend.

And in hindsight, Sarah knew not telling Kelly about Connor and vise versa was going to blow up in her face. But she didn’t know it would actually blow up in her face. Not just metaphorically. But right now Sarah just couldn't find it in herself to care. Instead she sat back and let them figure it out. Like the big boys there were supposed to be.

"You're being a mother hens," Sarah pointed out tiredly as her the men in her life fussed over her.

"I'm the big brother. That's kind of my job description." Kelly pressed a kiss to her forehead, after he finished fluffing her pillow.

"Same with boyfriend perks," Connor continued to fuss over the blankets but before that he had been hovering over nurse as they changed the dressing on her stomach. "I'm still trying to figure out how you knew how to do that. With the trauma pads."

"My roommate and best friend-Shay. She had the exact same injury about four years ago now? Because Med had something similar happen that happened today. She used trauma pads to soak up as much blood as she could to keep going. Until, like Sarah she finally collapsed." Kelly explained to her boyfriend.

"You act like you didn't raise me and you haven't done something similar." Sarah rolled her eyes at her step-brother's pointed words. She was too sleepy to deal with this. The brunette yawned and stretched her arms behind her to adjust her body. Which made both of the men in her life hiss and both reach to help her.

"I'm really starting to miss when you two hated each other," She slurred as her medication made her drowsy.

Kelly snorted and pressed one last kiss to her forehead. "I'll be back okay, little sister? I'm just going to get you some stuff from the apartment."

"My airpods," Sarah requested, "Please."

"First thing on my list." Kelly squeezed her hand, "Love you,"

When he was gone, Sarah looked at her boyfriend. "I'm probably just going to sleep. You can go home."

Connor pecked her lips lightly before he settled into a chair beside her bed. Then he picked up her hand and pressed his lips to her skin in a very tender fashion. "Yeah, well you scared me today. Especially when you lied to Ava about how badly you were hurt until the last possible second. So you'll have to deal with me hovering."

"There were a group of candidates who didn't know what to do because it was their first day on the job. It wasn't their fault their lieutenants didn't keep them on their hips I knew what to do because Kelly's had me in fire drills since I was thirteen at the fire academy. Not to mention the civilians trapped with us. They were hurt too."

Connor shook his head and laughed lightly, "How the hell did I not realize that you and Severide were related?"

[solar-halos]

i finished the umbrella academy s4. i am not amused. here are my thoughts (looong post incoming)

1. i don’t remember diego being so fucking annoying. actually that’s a lie he’s always been annoying but since he was hot i let it slide but now that he’s not treating lila right (how do u fumble a baddie THAT HARD) i think he should participate in the shut the fuck up challenge

2. “their uncle will pick them up” HUH? like obviously this timeline is different but you’re telling me lila has uncles (and parents! or someone! she was talking to some elderly couple before the party!). what does that mean for the others… were their mothers still killed in this timeline or did klaus live out his little amish dream, even if he wasn’t around to experience it? ykwim? like did they show up to this timeline and someone was like “omg where did u wander off to? i was looking all over for u!” and then it turns out it’s their sibling/uncle/whatever in that timeline and they just have to be like ah yes. i surely do know who u are

3. what they did to lila and diego was criminal!!! “she said she couldn’t get pregnant while breast feeding. but she could” dramatic ass reveal for no fucking reason. like get over yourself diego

4. ok i know they prob couldn’t get rays actor to come back but what the fuck do u mean he walked out. and how can allison afford that nice house when all she’s doing is being in commercials nobody wants. our girl has a BEAMER. also i thought they weren’t supposed to have phones or anything like that so why does allison have a vape lollll. not complaining bc that scene was funny to me but why and how

5. ughhh they were tryna set up lila and five SO BAD in the beginning. and even then they still gave off intense sibling vibes

6. ok maybe im just too american but the gun imagery was kinda not it for me. like idk i think the bit with santa claus coming out shooting at everything was supposed to be funny but idkk i think im just too sensitive bc i was like mkkk whatever not funny. also i know luther has super strength but even in s1 he still got majorly injured when that chandelier fell on him but now he’s fucking indestructible apparently?? like getting shot at and stuff?? what???

7. ok but that grandma loading her old timey gun while she turned to the siblings like O.O was funny i’ll give them that

8. speaking of guns wtf siblings are killing EVERYONE. like ik they started the apocalypse and everything but idek just the way they did it was so weird. like less detached/guilty and more like… triumphant? satisfied? idk but it had a different tone than even s3, i remember in s2 it was such an intense ordeal when allison made those two european brothers kill each other but this time they straight up mass murdered a bunch of ppl in a small town and were like B). like ok. like allsion mutilated that guy in front of her DAUGHTER and it was just chill. major tonal shift

9. “you just had to one up me” 1) you just killed a bunch of ppl diego!! 2) that is NOT the lila and diego i know. the real lila and diego would have started making out nasty style the moment lila killed that guy w her laser eyes. also wtf were the point of the laser eyes. she used them like twice and then that was it

10. with that being said all that affair stuff and recovery and addiction and relapse was getting so heavy. which ik is the point and the umbrella academy has always been heavy but like holy shit u GOTTA pick a struggle. is lila gonna groom five or is klaus gonna give claire trauma cos u can’t have both

11. speaking of claire… “would it help to remind u that we were just as shitty at her age” no u fucking weren’t. u could have breathed at ur british alien father wrong and he would have made u do drills until u puked. don’t play rn

12. why did they not trust the audience to pick up on the fact ben spiked their drinks. like we did not need a full on FLASHBACK. or like to be fully immersed in that scene, a tiny little flashback would have done

13. ok but why is this season so scary. like that train station made me paranoid

14. i will never forgive them for what they did to my girl lila. she used to serve CUNT

15. that british lady alien annoyed the fuck outta me

16. WHERE was pogo. and grace. they needed to find a way to bring them back. maybe they could have transported to a universe where the apocalypse happened and now the world was getting ruled by a planet of [gunshots]

17. why the fuck was diego acting like jennifer and ben weren’t linked in some way when all of s3 they alluded to the jennifer incident every other scene. i get it was supppsed to be so obvious even to someone who has ONLY watched s4 that jennifer and ben were linked so it was just a case of diego being stupid BUT that doesn’t work when it’s already been established that they all know jennifer played a part in ben’s death. hence calling it the Jennifer Incident

18. “they tried to address that in later scenes” they failed. they didn’t know how ben died, fine. but they knew jennifer had something to do w it. i’m tired of scenes that poke fun at diego for being stupid. he’s not stupid—he’s cocky

19. okay no but this season was SO gory. like. whatever they have guns this is a revolution but the guts? the intestines?? they wanted to be stranger things sooo bad

20. no but we need to talk about that. the monster thingie at the end was so stranger things and the guns and the military and everything it was like we were back in s3 (or whenever we met the russians)

21. LOL but that scene where diego finds out about five and lila was lowkey funny. this season was so meta in general

22. speaking of the holidays… i sure did love watching everyone sing christmas carols and walk around in the snow when it was hot asf in real time

23. i do like how many parallels there were to s1. like w viktor and reggie, it was very viktor and leonard in s1. and klaus getting kidnapped. although i was kinda tired of klaus getting abducted and his siblings not giving a fuck. i thought there was supposed to be growth there

24. okayyy but ben and jennifer were cute SORRY. “let’s get married” that would have worked on me. however being rude to me while i was at work WOULDNT have worked on me so maybe yall are right maybe we didn’t need a love interest this season

25. i did NOT expect them to actually drag out lila and five’s love story. other than the age gap (no matter how ur looking at it) you already knew it was gonna be bad as soon as they had their first kiss. i hate those multiple little open mouthed kisses that are literally just ALL lip and spit like that’s fucking gross if ur gonna stick ur tongue in my mouth u better do it by the third little :O we got going on there. and then five was giving boy. like literal boy. and lila is a literal goddess but a goddess that’s well into her 20s and the contrast was so sharp it rlly was giving mom and her caucasian child. i mean that bit about lila viewing it as survival vs five actually clinging onto it showed their different levels of maturity, but since it’s never specified if five is still a 50 year old man or just aging normally, his reaction rlly was such a teenage boy thing. “i’m gonna kill him” man shut the fuck up

26. ok no bc we need to talk about this. i think fives actor is my age—maybe even a little bit older—but i don’t see how anyone over the age of 18 is supposed to find him attractive. like idk it’s weird in the show but even creepier irl cos lila’s actor had to have known him when he was still a minor. why did anyone at the umbrella academy think we wanted this

27. anyway not to make this about myself but when i was writing the odesta longfic there were a lot of lore inconsistencies as we kept going bc i forgot some of the details and was too lazy to go back and read it sometimes, and i think that’s what happened this season. the most notable detail is when klaus covered his ears while everyone was shooting at each other. i was expecting some sort of vietnam flashback but like no. he was just there being normal about it, all things considered

28. “ex-squeeze me?” it wasn’t funny when klaus said it in s1. and it wasn’t funny here

29. alright i think that’s really all i wanted to say about the season tbh… like idk diego and lila starting a family made sense i guess and i know they were falling out of love (even tho they would never do that…) but i didn’t rlly feel any of the love w the kids. like even when lila stepped off the train at the last min and her daughter was banging at the glass it looked more like she was like “oh no :(“ and then just started poking at the glass. i don’t even think it matters that she didn’t fully know what was going on—if you’re a child and ur mom steps away in an unfamiliar situation, you’re gonna start to freak. especially w everything else that was going on

30. ok this is such a small thing to harp on but they abused the fuck outta that time skip font. like i don’t think they ever used it that much before now

31. now let’s get into the ending. this is how i would fix it:

we can keep jennifer. whatever. that thing they added at the very last second about her having a particle that causes the end of the world was… whatever. like i get it. they needed a way to explain the end of the world and that was the thing they used and even if it was very late to introduce such a (admittedly confusing) bombshell, at least it fits in with what we already know about this universe’s rules. magic and particles and marigold and whatever. jennifer is fine.

tbh when jennifer started feeling sick i was honestly thinking that they were gonna go the surprise pregnancy route even though they weren’t even fuckinf hinting at that i just have no media literacy. i wouldn’t have minded that tbh, like the monster transformation made more sense but imagine if we did a twilight ripoff for a second, except that jennifer and ben were both equally protective of the killer baby growing outside of jennifer’s womb (or in her womb… whatever. point is there’s a baby). i don’t think this is a good idea—if anything i think this is a shit idea. but something that’s always been so prominent in tua are the moral implications of what they’re doing, like with everyone wanting to kill harlan in s3 instead of letting the entire world die, and with everything that happened with viktor in s1. there was the whole “i can’t kill my brother” bit, sure, but everyone kinda didn’t rlly seem too enthusiastic about it.

actually the baby addition is actually a shit idea. i’m just keeping that part of the rant in bc we need SOME sort of moral dilemma that isn’t just viktor arguing w hargreeves and then his siblings dropping in later with opinions that don’t even seem that strong. everyone needs to have a strong opinion on SOME sort of moral issue that we wanna introduce—that, in a perfect world, we’d be building up to throughout the season—and then yeah whatever there can be an epic fight scene

i don’t watch/read a lot of time travel stuff, but from what i gathered, the timeline can never be restored once it’s fucked with. there has to be consequences, like with any story. and tua did address that—they tried restoring the timeline thousands of times—but i think they shot themselves in the foot there. time travel with a (somewhat) happy ending is possible—there just has to be something to lose, and it has to be something that isn’t nonnegotiable. claire was nonnegotiable, which is why i think they stayed in s3’s timeline for as long as they did

point is, i think they should have gone back to 2019. i mean i don’t think anyone really wanted them to die. i made a joke in s3’s rant that i would just give up, but lucky for me, i am not a fictional character in tua, so the fact they just die in the last five mins and we’re supposed to be ok w that makes the last three seasons pointless. like, actually pointless. what was the message here? why is the ending of the show painted as some sort of utopia just bc we got rid of the siblings? and why is five okay with that? i think him being on board w dying could have been an interesting route to take if they showed his relationship w his siblings consistently deteriorating (both on screen AND off screen) but they only rlly managed to do that with diego, and it was for something fucking stupid

ANYWAY. bring those fools back to 2019, but don’t make them totally happy. just give them something that makes them all just stay put, like how allison has claire (doesn’t matter which timeline. it could be from the fucked up timeline. i don’t think the cleanse would happen bc of that bc claire is only one person and not an entire fucking organization like tua or an assassination like jfk. so hell. might as well throw harlan and sissy in there for viktor. that makes lila and diego’s motivation really easy for staying put, cos then they have their kids. klaus is klaus and no offense to him but i think hes just gonna roll w the cards he’s dealt without trying to fight back, for better or for worse. then ben can have jennifer and since they love each other idk they just stick around. then five’s motivation for staying is that his family is alive and none of them want to leave and that’s good enough for him bc that’s why he time traveled in the first place

again… i don’t think what i came up with is any good. i just think it’s better than them all dying at the last fuckin second. i think this show relied on a lot of haha random xd humor at the beginning and they tried to keep that intact here but everything got so serious that i think them all dying rlly did seem like the only way out but.. it’s not. they could go back to the way things are as long as there were consequences. it would suck, and none of them would be as happy as they could be, but they know that’s as happy as they’re gonna get, so whatever. like, if we were gonna take the suicide route, we might as well gone the time loop route and gone back from the very beginning when five blinks back to 2019. i think that rly would have driven home the “this all would have happened anyway” point way better than them just being like guess ill die :) bc ughhh. no they wouldn’t. also they wouldn’t let lila leave bc she still had marigold in her but… what about her and diego’s kids?? they’re half marigold, and claire is a quarter, so… what’s up with that?

[moonlitenvyillust]

Sooooooo i decided that this can be a good source of practice before i actually pull out a fic of my own AUs. So...

Warnings: murder, Gore, blood, Canon typical violence, temporary fourthwall break, Telemachus being a boyfailiure i love him, Odysseus being the monster rawr rawr rawr, oops Tele is dead now hehe! unreliable narrator me yada yada angst idk spelling mistakes abuse of italics English isnt my first language you know the drill

Anyways, I Will not pay for therapy and i will drink your tears as Vodka for my religion forbids me to drink actual alcohol.

Summary: Ody goes monster rawr rawr rawr and didnt know that Tele was his son and kills him accidentally mistaking him for a suitor. Idk

╰┈┈୨✦୧┈┈╯

The palace lights was off when Telemachus docked his ship.

He had suspected something happened. Athena had warned him not to dock in the usual place, telling him to sail to the more secluded side of the island. This just proved his intuition.

Athena had left a while ago in such urgency Telemachus had not seen ever since his mother needed to talk to some representatives about trade routes and stuff.

Mother...

He has to go back as fast as he could

Dissmissing the crew, Telemachus grabs his spear and ran into the palace. Athena isnt there with him, but who cares? If he dies atleast its protecting his mother.

No why is he thinking about death now? Time to focus Telemachus.

Blood... Telemachus had always hated blood.

Wherever it is that is not inside of someone's body, it always brings horrifying news.

So walking into the smell and sight of blood all over the palace Walls and bodies of the suitors laying dead on the ground, that puts Telemachus into what-the-actual-fuck-happened mode.

Slipping through the bodies of the suitors, Telemachus finds one in particular catching his eyes

"Antinous..."

The suitor well, now late suitor that is seemed to have a whole arrow stuck up his neck. Well deserved whoever killed him, Telemachus owes him his thanks. That asshole had been a pain in his arse for much too long

Huh, when did his internal monologue get so vulgar? Eh, who cares. Now who is he even talking to?! Oooh what noise is that?

•

Odysseus can almost hear a ship being docked on the shores of ithaca. Who even returns so late at night? But who is he to care right now. There's pigs running away from their pigsty and he needs to them all up.

One by one. He takes down the filth in the palace. That is, untill the door to the room he was certain he locked opened itself

A decently young... Person, comes in. Odysseus lurks in the shadows. Not making a single noise. He cant seem to guess the gender of this new intrusion. But whoever he is, if he wants to get to his wife... They will die

Not a Palace soldier, Odysseus decided. Thats not how their armour looks like. Not a maid, they wear too much expensive jewelery for that.

Odysseus grabs an Arrow. The slight noise startling the intruder

"who's there?!"

Odysseus doesnt answer. Even when he Heard the intruder's voice, he couldnt really guess their gender. But the intruder spots him. This person should be a pretty smart warrior for their age the king thought.

"who are you? What did you do?"

Odysseus doesnt put down his bow. But he so speaks "i am here to get to Penelope" hearing that, the intruder seems to tense. Holding onto their spear

╰┈┈୨✦୧┈┈╯

"i will not let you touch her..."

Odysseus doesnt answer. He just lets his Arrow fly. The intruder didnt have enough time. He dies with an Arrow to the throat.

•

Where the hell is Telemachus?

Thats the question on Athena's mind. Where is her little warrior of the mind? She left aburply to make sure Penelope is safe. And she returns to-

Oh no...

Oh fuck no...

@kamiko1234 here is your (this is an unfinished accidentally posted draft) of the idea you have me where in post i commented on. I tried

God that took longer than it should have. Anyways idea by and special thanks to my bestie irl who doesnt have Tumblr for giving me motivation to do this in the form of a bet

And also @Stella Luna on YouTube's ASTONISHING Odysseus animation that gave me an idea of how Telemachus' life would end. Sorry my favourite child you gotta suffer.

[pampanope]

Graves Headcannons from Shadows’ POV (Part 3):

part 1 Part 2

((Hey ya’ll, hope the weekends a good one! More Graves stuff~))

The Graves manual made it back to 7-11 a mere two weeks since his last entry.

He groggily left his blanket cocoon of warmth, shambled towards the door, wrenched it open ready to chew out the impertinent little shit who’d been rapping at it incessantly, only to have the massive binder shoved into his chest with enough force to stun him; too stunned to catch the identity of his unwanted visitor, who had the sense to haul ass immediately away from the doorway.

There was giggling accompanied by several voices and boots scampering down the hallway.

Ballsey, noisy, and reckless enough to bother an officer at 0600 on his one day of zero responsibility? Clearly they were the fresh batch of recruits he’d been working on, still too new and wet behind the ears to have callsigns of their own.

If he was any other lieutenant 7-11 would’ve given chase, hunted each of them down and handed out extra drills and the honor of scrubbing one of the barracks’s communal showers.

Alas, he was only himself; lazy at his core and an unrepentant enjoyer of his day off. No baby Shadows he needed to teach, no training with his platoon, and no paperwork. Unless the more senior staff or an act of god (Graves) said otherwise, 7-11 wasn’t gonna exert more energy than he needed to.

Sleep ruined, 7-11 rubbed the grogginess from his eyes and plopped the heavy binder onto his desk. Might as well add some shallow, surface level Graves trivia, because anything deeper was too much for his fuzzy mind.

~~~~~~

-it’s not that he’s ashamed but he’s very self-conscious of his accent; he’s aware of the stereotypes attached to it, so he softens and flattens it a bit when dealing with clients.

-but when he’s relaxed, exhausted, fighting off sleep’s siren call? The accent thickens, sweet as molasses.

-turns red when he thinks he’s been caught nodding off though. Everyone should pretend they didn’t notice and wait for sleep to drag him under. Calling attention will just fluster him.

-some of you’ve seen or heard the boss mumble in his sleep; again, pretend you never noticed.

-He seems to bristle or shy away a bit at showing vulnerability or receiving affection.

(Like a growly coyote that won’t admit to enjoying head scritches, 7-11 mused fondly. Let’s see if we can fix that.)

-although he likes the occasional drink, Graves tries to keep a sober head most times as commander, especially on missions (the Graves Alone Xmas fiasco, as many Shadows have taken to calling it, was a damn fluke, an aberration, and 7-11 will make sure there will never be a repeat)

-he bites. Hard. No, i will not elaborate.

-has a fragrant woodsy scent (it’s fucking distracting, especially during spars)

-Graves is possessive. More on this another time.

-gets severe road rage; Graves will shout, abuse the horn, roll down the window to insult you, your mother, and your shit driving in that order, and stick a hand out to flip you off; he’d flip you off with both hands if he didn’t need one on the wheel at all times. (The Shadows are glad he isn’t reckless enough to try and overtake anyone while cuts him off, he’s just REALLY loud about it.)

-he isn’t bad at cooking, he’s actually pretty good. Just limited in what he makes, but they turn out delicious. (“Hell, if you get stuck with me in some safe house, at least you won’t be swallowing down burnt MREs while pretending you wouldn’t sell my ass for a single corn chip.”) In this, he’s excellent wife material self-sufficient.

~~~~~~~

7-11 decided that was enough writing on his day off before shutting the binder. He got up, did some luxurious, toe curling stretches, and padded towards the bathroom to get the day started.

If he’s lucky, he could find a warm patch of grass to nap on before the sun rose to high. Preferably somewhere pesky baby Shadows wouldn’t find him.

[helenaheissner]

Love During Robot Fighting Time: Chapter 14

Hello, lovelies! Hope y'all are doing well :)

Don't forget you can read three chapters ahead on this story, twenty chapters ahead on "A Dream of Summer Rain", and two chapters ahead on "Magical Girl Exorcist Squad", by becoming a paid subscriber on my Substack or my Patreon!

***

Zeke

12 months earlier

I squatted in the Pits, putting the finishing touches on our minibot, Gurren, in preparation for our fight with Team Bottle Rocket in twenty minutes. I was so zoned in on getting all the screws extra tight that I almost missed my phone blaring out a Kendrick Lamar song. I groaned when I saw the caller ID. “Hi, Mom,” I said, attempting to keep the stress and frustration out of my voice. It was better to get whatever ‘conversation’ this was out of the way now- if I tried to put it off and ignore her, she’d just be even more cantankerous about it when we actually got around to it. 

“Hellllo, Ezeekielll,” she slurred, her words blending together at the borders of the syllables. Oh, good. “How are you this evening?”

“Uh, a little busy to be honest, Mom,” I said. 

“Busy? Busy with what? It’s not like you have a job.”

I breathed in a sharp sigh through my nose. “I do have a job, Mom. It’s just seasonal.”

“Those obnoxious shows you go on don’t count as a-”

“Mom, was there a specific reason you called?” I asked, focusing on keeping the screws tight. “Like I said, I’m a little busy.”

“Too busy to talk to your dear ol’ mum,” she said, her accent starting to slip out. She’d been training herself not to have one ever since she’d moved to the States back when she was a teenager, but sometimes it still flared up. Usually when she’d indulged in one too many Screwdrivers. “That’s a problem, you know- you’ll never get a girlfriend if you hate your own mother.”

“I don’t hate you, Mom,” I said monotone. 

“Love the exact phrasing there, Ezekiel. Very gentlemanly.”

The screwdriver, my screwdriver, a literal one, slipped out of my hands. And as I reached down for it, I noticed my breathing- sharp, fast, all inhale and holding my breath, only exhaling when I absolutely needed to. “Thank you, Mother, I try.”

“Don’t you get sarcastic with me, young man- that’s hardly a trait that will do you any favors with the ladies either.”

I reached for the screwdriver on the ground, but my hand trembled when I tried to grip it. It slipped out of my grasp and hit the floor once again. “Look, Mom, my match starts in a few minutes, I really need to finish these repairs on Dai Guren-”

“Oh God, I forgot you gave that stupid thing a name. How asinine.”

Cold, soggy shame dripped off of me, and I let myself inhale and exhale through my mouth. 

And of course she kept going: “And that’s another thing- why is it just you doing this? Don’t you have teammates for this nonsense? They don’t appreciate you. If they did, they wouldn’t force you to do all the work-”

“They don’t force me to do all the work, Mom!” I snapped. “And I’m doing these repairs because I’m good at them. They had to go handle other stuff for the match. It’s not actually that complicated, but you refuse to understand!”

A few moments of deafening silence poured out from the other end of the line. “This is clearly not going to be a productive conversation. I think I’m done with you for the evening. I’ll call you back when you’re in a more reasonable headspace.”

“Mom-”

She ended the call before I could get another word out. 

It wasn’t quiet in the pits- people were using saws to carve up metal, flames were welding parts together, drills were digging into machinery. All the high-pitched screeches coalesced into a singular plaintive wail. 

A tear fell off my chin and shattered on the ground. I tore off my work gloves and wiped my eyes, hoping nobody would see me. I wasn’t much of a crier. No reason to ruin that reputation now, when I had other things to focus on. The bot was ready for the fight, and that was what I had to focus on, not the hollow pit in my chest rapidly filling with anger and resentment and freaking exhaustion-

“Hey, what’s wrong?” 

My fingers parted across my visage. I hadn’t even realized my face was buried in my hands. I looked through the gaps to find Calloway there, standing across the narrow middle walkway that ran down the white room. He was standing there in jeans and a black hoodie drawn up over his head, but he pulled it back and shaked out his shaggy brown hair. His eyes always looked… Harsh, angry, aggressive. But not now, not at this moment. Now they looked… Softer. Concerned. And… Genuine, in their concern. I’d gotten pretty good at spotting the difference between genuine concern and artificial; having parents like mine forces you to learn as fast as possible. But right now, here, he… 

“I… Just a difficult phone call with my mom,” I said, pulling my hands away from my face entirely, directing my gaze at the floor. 

Calloway stepped forward and gave me a hug. I flinched- the guy really had no sense of personal space, but honestly… I needed it, then, so I hugged him back. “Thanks.”

“Of course.”

I mumbled, “I guess I just…”

“What?” Calloway asked.

“It’s nothing, it’s…”

“What?” Calloway said, pulling out of the hug and looking me directly in the face, furrowing his brow. 

“I’m… Just surprised that you care,” I said. 

He gulped and took a step backward, along with a slight bite to his lower lip that ended as soon as it began. “I, uh… Yeah, yeah that’s fair.”

“I didn’t mean-”

“No, you did,” he said, turning his head so he didn’t have to look me in the eyes anymore. “It’s fine. Really, it is. I just… I really must come off like I’m a lot, all the time, huh?”

“I… What do you want me to say here, dude?” I said, taking a step towards him. 

He took another step back. “Just the truth. Just… How you really feel.”

I drew in another deep breath. “Yes. You… You do.”

He gulped again. “That… That explains a buncha stuff. I kinda figured people knew I… But I guess they wouldn’t. Fair enough.”

“Look, Calloway-”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said with a playful wave of his hand, plastering a bogus smile onto his face. “Just means I sell the heel routine well. That’s not a bad thing. And this isn’t really about me- I was asking you what’s wrong. Um… Do you… Do you wanna talk about it?”

My phone alarm hollered inside my pants’ pocket. Ten minutes till the fight. They’d be starting the introductory monologues soon. “I dunno if I have time right now, but… I appreciate it. I really, sincerely do. Maybe… Maybe next time?”

“Next time I catch you crying, tough guy?” he said, the smile edging just a little closer to genuine. 

I forced out a little chuckle. “Yeah, I guess so. For now… Can I just get another hug?”

He nodded rapidly. “Of course.”

Then he went in for it and wrapped his arms around my back. And it felt… Good. Supportive. Strong, but not aggressive.

Maybe there was more to Keith Calloway than I thought.

***

NOW

I sprayed some breath spray into my mouth while I paced up and down the hallway of my apartment, my hands wringing together as I tried to keep my mind clear and focused. 

I liked Kate. That much was hard to deny. She was bright and funny and passionate, just radiated warmth and empathy, and I felt like I could let my guard down around her in a way I couldn’t around other people. Including Faith.

But I liked Faith. I had for a while now. She was chill and focused and creative, a freaking dancing ray of light that always brightened up my day, who I desperately wanted to protect and take care of. 

And they were both incredibly pretty. 

Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit what is wrong with me? Just like my jackass of a father, can’t keep it in my pants, can’t be happy with what I have, like a real man is supposed to. 

But that didn’t matter. I was going on a date with Katie tonight. I was moving on from Faith, because that was the right thing to do, because she didn’t like me back, because she didn’t swing that way and just wasn’t physically attracted to me. And Kate… She made it really easy to want to move on, and she seemed to really want to be with me, for some unfathomable reason. Holding her in my arms made me feel like the strongest person in the world; the way she’d just slid up to me and put herself there like it was the most natural fit possible… It felt really good. I felt really good around her. 

My phone buzzed, and I saw from the caller ID that it was my mom. 

My finger loomed over the ‘accept call’ button for a solid minute before the phone simply stopped ringing altogether. Then it immediately started ringing again, because my mom was physically incapable of taking no for an answer. 

A spark of anger caught in my chest, burning my insides and sending proverbial smoke out of my ears. Goddammit, I was twenty-three years old, financially self-sufficient, and living in my own place. She did NOT get to keep pulling this crap. She hadn’t reached out to me in months and now, when I had something legitimately important to do, she decided it was the perfect time to interrupt. Couldn’t even be bothered to text first, asking if now was a good time. 

I thought about a year ago, and the mess I’d become when my mom called before that match, and Kate, back before I’d known she was Kate, before she’d known she was Kate, before she and I could even call ourselves friends, let alone whatever we were now, had held me and comforted me. Didn’t have to be asked, just offered and did her best to make good on that offer. That was when it had started to dawn on me that underneath it all, she really was a kind person with a big heart. 

It was also when it really started to dawn on me that my mom was an absolute bitch. Maybe she wasn’t as unbearable as my dad, but it would be a truly Herculean feat to be anywhere near as unpleasant as that selfish asshole. 

I hit ‘ignore.’ 

I breathed out, slowly and carefully, leaning against the wall. I was emphatically not going to cry right now, because I didn’t want Kate to feel like she had to take care of me tonight. I wanted to take care of her, to show her that yes, she really was the cute, sweet, wonderful girl she was trying to be. 

The tumblers of our lock shifted as the front door opened. Faith stepped through, a sad smile on her face. “Heyo,” she said. “Your hot date is downstairs waiting for you. Show her a good time tonight, yeah?”

“Of course,” I nodded, double checking my pockets to make sure I had my phone and wallet. Good to go. “You gonna be okay by yourself tonight?”

She gave an errant wave of her hand and said, “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I can get caught up on my soaps.”

“You watch soap operas?” I said, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, old ones from the 1960s, mostly,” she said. “They’re really funny when you’re stoned.”

“Fair enough,” I said. I gave her a quick hug, which she happily accepted. “Don’t wait up for me!”

“Will do!” she said as I made my way out the door. 

I headed down the stairs and out front, where Kate’s pickup truck sat in the thin driveway that led into the parking garage below my building. I did a double-take when I saw her, leaning against the front of her truck. She wore a red dress that covered her chest wholesale, but beneath, what looked like boobs protruded from the dress in question. Falsies, presumably- Faith must have loaned her old ones out. Still, it couldn’t be denied that they looked real good on Kate, bringing the whole look together. Her dress had a slit going up the side, showing off her long, smooth legs well up her thick thighs. Bright red lipstick was painted across her mouth, and my whole body was screaming at me to cup her face in my hands and shove my tongue down her throat. So, of course, in my infinite intelligence and articulation, all I managed to choke out was, “Whoa.”

She smiled the kind of smile you want to protect with every fiber of your being. “Like what you see?” Her voice was high and breathy, each syllable enunciated slowly and carefully. She’d only been out for a few days and she’d already come so far. It was astonishing. It was… She was… 

“Absolutely beautiful,” I said, unable to blink. 

Her jaw dropped, and she stared at me.

Then a car pulled up behind her and honked at us- I recognized one of my neighbors behind the wheel, an older, heavyset woman named Nina. 

“C’mon, let’s get going,” Kate said. She gestured me into the truck and then we pulled out of the driveway. “So, where are we going?” she asked. 

“Uh, Indian place on Lincoln Boulevard. It’s over by my old college,” I said, trying not to stare at her too much and venture into the dubious territory of ‘creepy weirdo.’

“Sounds good, I love Indian food,” she smiled again. 

Kiss her, you idiot, my brain hollered. Wait, no, she’s driving. Bad idea. But kiss her before the end of the night! “How’d the appointment go?”

“Fantastic! I’ll be able to start hormones hopefully by the end of the week!”

“That’s fantastic!” I said. “How’d the other one go?”

She spat out a petulant sigh. “Less good. My sponsor is…”

“Is?”

“Let’s be charitable and go with ‘pragmatic,’” she said, her voice dropping low. She grunted with frustration and her eyes peeled wide as she heard her own words. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” I said, trying my best to sound reassuring. “I don’t mind if you use your… Other voice.” I managed to stop myself from saying ‘boy voice’ or ‘normal voice.’ Thank God.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “It’s… It’s not that I don’t want you to hear it, it’s that I don’t like hearing it.”

“That’s fair,” I said. 

“But yeah, if I want to keep Gaines as my sponsor, I may or may not have to lean into this whole trans thing as part of my ‘brand.’ Ugh, I hate that word. Gag me.”

“Is that a request?” I smirked. 

She blushed redder than the Red Comet. “What if it is?”

“Then I’d be happy to accommodate.” What the hell, when did I get this bold?! It must have been my dick talking for me. Made sense- I’d spent… Several years not listening to it. How long had it been since I’d last had sex, anyway? Two years? Three? 

Getting ahead of yourself, Underhill. “Do you think you’re gonna stick with Gaines?” I asked. 

“Don’t see what choice I have,” she replied as she turned onto Lincoln and started driving west. “I don’t exactly have the capital to self-fund. How do you and Faith raise money, anyway?”

“Uh, a couple ways. Grant from our old college, a loan from Faith’s parents, and the money she and I raise doing temporary engineering jobs during the off-season. Usually like…, four, five months full time work with one of the aerospace companies in the city, then we spend the rest of the year working on the fun stuff.”

“I should probably look into something like that,” Kate said. “I don’t dislike working for my parents, but I’m never gonna make the kind of money I need to keep going in the ‘bot battle circuit working twenty hours a week at an indie retail outlet.”

“I have some contacts at a few places that I can send your way,” I offered. “Might be able to help you get a foot in the door, do some interviews.”

“That… Would be amazing,” she beamed. “You’d really do that for me?”

“‘Course I would,” I said. I want you to keep smiling that smile. “I just… Want you to be happy.”

“Thanks,” she said. “For… Everything.”

“No problem, Katie,” I said. 

She giggled. God, her laugh was adorable. So, I said that out loud. 

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

“You have a cute laugh,” I said simply.

“It’s not cute… I’m not…”

“If you’re about to say you’re not cute, just know that there’s nothing cuter than a cute girl insisting she’s not cute.”

“... Dammit. You’re right.”

 “Gotcha,” I said, snapping my fingers. 

We carried on like that until we got to the restaurant, where, to my astonishment, we were seated immediately. I ordered a lamb vindaloo with a side of garlic naan, and she ordered butter chicken with onion naan. We split an order of vegetable samosas as well, and we were seated by the window looking out into the street. A pair of candles sat between us on our glass table, casting a bit of glow in the darkened dining area. 

“So, you went to that school over there, then?” Kate asked. “LMU?”

“Yeah, all four years.”

“How’d you wind up there?” she asked. 

“Uh, well, I applied to UCLA and didn’t get in,” I said with a self-deprecating laugh. “Which is true of, uh, most of the school, actually.”

“They couldn’t get into UCLA?” Kate chuckled. 

“Or USC. Or Harvey Mudd. Or Cal Poly.”

“Ahhh, gotcha. You said you grew up around here, right?”

“For a given value,” I said. “I was raised in Riverside.”

“Inland Empire, I see,” she said. “That place as horrifying as David Lynch makes it look?”

I chuckled. “Only when it’s on fire.”

“So, like, all Summer?”

“Pfft, basically.” 

“It’s funny, you know, we grew up in the same neck of the woods but never met till we started doing what we do,” Kate said, resting her chin on her hands while her elbows were propped up on the table. “I know that Venice and Riverside aren’t actually that close together-”

“Especially with the traffic in this town making it a longer trek,” I said. 

“Still,” she said. “It’s cool, knowing that someone like you was relatively close this whole time.” 

Her eyes… 

“Zeke?” she asked. “You okay?”

“Hm? Yeah, why?”

“You went quiet and started staring at me,” she said, raising her head, putting her hands flat on the table, concern exuding from her frown. “Did I lay it on too thick?”

I shook my head. “Not at all.” I reached for her hand. “Honestly, I’m worried about doing the same, so why don’t we just be ourselves tonight, and see how that works for us?”

“I’d like that,” she smiled again. That smile… 

The server, a middle-aged Indian man with pot-belly and an impressive beard, brought our samosas and a few different sauces over and set them between us. And with him came, very unexpectedly, some familiar faces. 

“Zeke?” Olivia asked. She was flanked by her new teammates, Tom, a medium-height black man in his late twenties with a shaved head and massive hands, and Winston, a white boy with a wild mane of brown hair who looked like he was still in college. And standing next to them were Team Forest Fire and Team Sparky-Sparky-Boom. Forest Fire was three guys all in their thirties, each of them shredded and rocking full beards. Their captain, Lance Masterson, was a behemoth of a white man with a shaved head and some burn marks on his arms and neck; his teammates were Jake George, a tall black man with long dreads and nose ring, and Evan Hernandez, a shorter Mexican-American man built like a powerlifter. Team Spark-Sparky-Boom, meanwhile, was two people, a husband and wife team called David and Eileen Portman. David was comfortably in his early forties, hair more salt than pepper, clean shaven and thin as a rail; Eileen looked like she was in her late thirties, and was shorter and thicker, with long brown hair beginning to spark with silver. 

A low-pitched groan escaped my throat, and I was surprised at how loud it was, only to look over and see that Kate was making roughly the same mouth-noise. 

“H-h-hey,” I eventually choked out. “How y’all doing?”

“Not bad,” Masterson said. 

“Not bad at all!” Hernandez said, snapping his fingers and pointing at Kate.

She blushed, then looked down at her food. 

“So, this must be Kate,” Olivia said. 

“Um, how do you know about-”

“Faith told me.”

“Faith told you what?” I said, my eyes narrow. 

“Oh, just that you’d finally found a girl for you… Wait a sec. Wait wait wait a second. Calloway? Is that you under all that makeup?”

My eyes bulged with panic, and I saw Kate’s lips trembling and her hands wringing together. Oh, this was bad- she wasn’t ready to come out to everyone at work yet, she’d said as much to me in the car ride. She’d been planning to come out in two weeks when she had her next fight, with the same kind of surprise announcement that Faith had been afforded. 

And now… Now she was having to come out to her work rivals by accident. For the third time in two weeks.

Goddammit.

“Yeah,” she said, her voice dropping low. Then, in her higher, breathier voice, she said, “Yes. It’s me. My preferred name is Kate, pronouns are she/her.”

Olivia’s eyebrows shot up. 

“Oh, so you’re a trans too?” Mrs. Portman said. 

I died inside a little bit. 

“I, uh, yeah. I’m a trans woman,” Kate said.

“Wow, two of you in the tournament this year, huh? What are the odds?” Mrs. Portman said. “And this isn’t a publicity stunt?”  

“Dear, hush, that’s rude,” Mr. Portman said, playfully swatting his wife on the arm, blissfully unaware of the psychic damage he and his wife had just inflicted on Kate. 

“No,” Kate said, eyes dropping low, fingers drumming nervously on the table. Oooohhhh dear. “I’m just… I’m a woman.”

“Hey, listen, it’s nice to see you all, but Kate and I were just trying to have a nice, quiet dinner,” I said. “Alone. As in just the two of us-”

“That’s fine, broseph,” Masterson said, “We can all take that big table outside, leave you two to your date.”

“I’d appreciate that a lot,” I nodded, putting a metric ton of emphasis behind each syllable. 

“As would I,” Kate said. Practically squeaked. Must… Protect… At all costs. 

“No problem, brosephine,” Masterson said. “You look great, bee-tea-dubs.”

They all cleared out and headed for the massive rectangular longtable outside… Except Olivia, who remained standing exactly where she was in front of us with her brow creased and her hands on her hips and her jaw slack. 

“Uh, Olivia, you coming with?” Tom asked while standing in the doorway, with an ‘aw shit here we go again’ expression on his face.

“Yeah, I’ll be right there,” Olivia said. 

Tom sighed and let the door close as he stepped outside. You tried, Tom. You tried. 

“Can, uh, I help you with something?” I said, trying not to get too distressed by Kate’s thousand-yard stare. Given that she’d only a few days prior called out and challenged Olivia in front of a screaming crowd while on camera and then immediately proceeded to have a massive panic attack… I didn’t like what this was almost certainly doing to her brain. 

“I just… When Faith said you’d found someone, this wasn’t what I expected,” Olivia said. “Does she… She knows who Kate really is, right?”

“Yeah, she does,” I said, creasing my own brow, “Why do you ask?”

“I just… I really just… Calloway? Seriously?! Calloway?!” Olivia said. “Of all freaking people, you choose Calloway over Faith?!”

“I’m sitting right here, you know,” Kate said. 

“R-right. Sorry, I… You look nice,” Olivia said. 

“Thanks,” Kate said. “Just, uh, quick question: why do you care?”

“Because I care about Faith,” Olivia said. 

“Right, sure you do,” Kate said. “You care so much about the girl you brutally dumped in the most vulnerable moment of her life. Right. Definitely. Absolutely.”

“Also, why would Faith care?” I said, attempting to navigate the conversation away from Kate’s (admittedly accurate) criticism of Olivia. “She and Kate have patched things up- they’re friends now.”

“Really?” Olivia said. 

“Yes, really,” Kate said. “She and I hung out literally all day today. She helped me pick out this dress, helped me with my voice. She and I are fine. And she’s fine with this.”

“Oh, honey,” Olivia said. “You don’t… Really believe that. Do you?”

Kate blinked, and her eyes went low again. 

“What does that mean?” I asked. 

“It means-”

“Don’t,” Kate said, slamming her hand against the table. 

Olivia took a step back. “Right. Sorry. It’s… Look, Zeke, I know you and I were never super close, but I gotta ask- is Faith really completely on board with all this?”

“Yes! Why wouldn’t she be?” Did someone slip me a crazy-pill? What the hell was going on?!

“I just… Can’t believe you would choose Ke… Kate over Faith,” Olivia said. 

“It’s not a choice,” I said, grabbing Kate’s hand and squeezing it tightly, a fire lighting inside my head. “I like Kate. She’s a beautiful woman, inside and out.”

“Phrasing,” Kate said in a thirsty whisper, eyebrows raised. 

“Babe, not now,” I said. 

“Babe?” she said with a bright smile.

“Babe? Wow,” Olivia said. “This is… A lot to accept, tbh.”

“And why, exactly, do you get a say?” I said. 

“I-”

“That was a rhetorical question,” I said. “You don’t. At all.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll back off,” Olivia said, holding up her hands, palms flat. “I just… Can’t help but think you’re making a mistake. You and Faith would be cute together, that’s all I’m saying.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I growled. 

“You would be,” Kate whispered. 

“What?” I said. Seriously, WHAT?!

“Backing away now,” Olivia said. “I’m sorry for saying anything- you’re right, it’s really none of my business. But, uh, Calloway? I still remember what you said last Friday. I’ll see you in the battle box.”

And with that, she walked away. My head spun with confusion and anger at the implications of what she said, the insinuations, the freaking hubris. And on top of it all, Kate looked ready to cry again. 

Our waiter finally came over with our food on a tray and set it down, but looked at us with a worried expression. “Would you two like this to go, by any chance?”

“Yes, please,” Kate and I said simultaneously. 

We waited till the food was put in takeaway boxes, and we made a hasty departure. I was pretty sure I heard Mrs. Portman shouting something at us as we walked out the front door, but I wasn’t sure what. “Where should we take all this?” Kate asked. 

“I have one idea, if you’re up for it,” I said, with a grin I hoped would be the first step to salvaging this evening. 

We headed for Dockweiler Beach, only a few miles from the restaurant, basically deserted in the waning hours of the evening before it was closed to the public. Waves lapped against the sand in a steady, drawling rhythm, and the rich, relaxing scent of seawater filled the air. We sat on a blanket Kate kept in her truck, eating our food while watching the tide crashing into the shore and the setting sun casting an orange-gold glow over everything. Kate had tied her hair back while we ate, but loose strands kept blowing about from the seabreeze and colliding with her face.

I reached over and brushed a strand back, and she smiled at me. “Thank you.”

“Of course. I’m, uh, sorry about what happened.”

“Don’t be, it isn’t your fault,” she said. “Honestly, you handled it really well. Way better than I would have in your position.”

“And what position is that?”

“The guy’s. You’re… You’re a really good guy, Zeke Underhill,” she said, wiping her mouth with a napkin. 

I laughed in spite of myself. “That’s nice of you to say. I… I’m not really used to hearing it,” I admitted, slumping my shoulders. 

“I find that hard to believe. You’re such a gentleman.”

“I… The thing is,” I started. Oh boy, I was about to admit this to her. This was big. I rarely talked about this. Not even with Faith. “... My parents… Are not the types to give out praise often, and a lot of it had to do with them thinking I wasn’t living up to their expectations of what a man was supposed to be. My Mom… Well, she’s English, she’s got all these old-fashioned, old-world ideas about men and women. She sent me to my room when I cried at a movie once when I was seven. My dad wasn’t much better- kind of a rough and tumble man’s man type. When I didn’t make my high school’s basketball team in ninth grade, he reamed me out for half an hour straight. Never mind the fact that I was short and fat back then. Which they both reminded me of constantly.”

“Jesus Christ, I’m so sorry,” Kate said, putting down her food and placing her hand on my shoulder. I gave it a squeeze. She continued, “My parents have always been so chill and supportive. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to… To grow up with that instead of what I had.”

“Thanks,” I said. “Honestly, I’m mostly over it at this point. I moved out for college when I was eighteen and never looked back. The only thing that really still gets to me is how hypocritical they were about everything. My dad… He’s a total pig, cheats on my mom constantly, and Mom just drinks to forget it every time the proof is thrown in her face. They’re both so full of shit, but I still… I still have this fear sometimes, that they’re right, that I’m not good enough, that there’s something I’m doing wrong, that…”

“That?”

“... That I’ll be a cheater like my dad, constantly balancing multiple girls, stringing along someone I’m supposed to be committed to. I think… I think that’s what bugged me about what Olivia was insinuating, like I was somehow being disloyal to Faith. Which is ridiculous, because… I… And she doesn’t even… And I’m not-”

“Not what?” Kate said, wrapping her arms around me. 

“I’m not with her. I probably won’t ever be with her,” I said.

“... You really like her, don’t you?”

“... I’m not sure you want me to answer that question, Katie.”

“You already have,” she said. “It’s kinda obvious.”

“I… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t-”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Kate said, nuzzling my shoulder. “You’re allowed to like more than one person at the same time. And you’ve liked her for a while, I’m not surprised I’m…”

“You’re what?”

“... Second prize.”

 “You’re not,” I said, turning around and putting my hands on her cheeks. “Listen to me, Kate Calloway. I recognize we’ve only just started really getting to know each other, but in that time, you’ve shown yourself to be… Amazing. Caring. Funny and thoughtful. Beautiful. I… I don’t know if I deserve you, but I’d like… To keep seeing you like this. To get to know you better, and to hold your hand while you go on this journey.”

Tears streamed out her eyes, and she bit her lower lip before saying, “Would you… Would you still say that if Faith liked you back?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I scoffed. “Faith is gay.”

“...”

I blinked. “Faith is gay, right?”

“I…,” Kate stammered, pulling out of my hands. “I’ve said too much.”

I blinked one long, sustained blink as the gears turned in my head. Faith… Wasn’t gay? And she… It… This made it seem like… 

Like she… 

No. 

Just, just… No.

There was a beautiful girl who I liked in front of me, and I wasn’t gonna let her slip away. “You’re fine. And even if she did, it wouldn’t matter.”

“You… You really mean that?”

“She’s not here with me right now, on this beach, sharing this meal, this evening,” I said. “Life moves forward, not back. If Faith really liked me, she should have said something. You, though, you said something. You made the first move, and… God, I’ve had to do that myself so many times, only for it to fall apart. Do you have any idea how good it makes me feel, that you like me enough to be the one to push things forward? How special that makes me feel? Because it’s amazing… You make me feel… Amazing, Kate.”

She looked at me with those big blue eyes, shining in the multicolored light of dusk as the sun set over the horizon, her red lips spread wide, hope and astonishment and joy radiating out of every inch of her. She gulped, and then she grabbed my lapel and said, “I’m gonna push things forward again now. Is that okay?” 

I didn’t answer. I just went for it, pressing her lips against mine, melting into her as we made out on the beach while the sun finished setting. My heart was alight with ecstasy, my lust burning at maximum temperature. I didn’t know for sure if I liked her more than I liked Faith. I just knew that in that moment, there was nobody I’d rather be with, nobody I’d rather be kissing, nobody I’d rather be getting to know.

For just one moment, everything was crystal clear. 

“You really had to ask?” I said as I pressed my forehead against hers, reveling in her aftertaste.

She smiled. Oh, Lord, that smile. “I just had to make sure.”

We carried on like that for a while longer, her hands touching mine, my lips touching hers, our bodies interlocking.

[lostinthe--stars]

Please, ranty essay on Elsa

Ooh, you bet!

There’s going to be absolutely no rhyme or reason to how this gets laid out, but I will number my reasons for some semblance of readability. It has also been a little bit since I actually watched frozen, so I probably don’t remember all the details of my arguments

1. At the end of Frozen 2, she completely fucks off to the forest - WHICH SHE DIDNT EVEN SAVE. ANNA DID. Then, she leaves Anna to be Queen, which, knowing Anna’s character, she would ABSOLUTELY NOT WANT. And she doesn’t even bother turning up to the coronation??????? Excuse me?? Miss?? You’re dumping all your responsibilities onto your sister and you won’t even bother showing up to her coronation. Ok sure.

2. Elaborating on the didn’t save the forest herself stuff. Anna did ALL the work to save the forest. And Elsa went off and died. Whoops? But then Elsa still gets all the glory, cause yippee, she saved Arendelle, even though Anna saved the forest (of which Elsa is one of the spirits, and then Elsa gets to enjoy all the benefits of the forest? Huh?????) Anna did all that while having to grieve Olaf and her sister. She managed to figure that shit out and get it done. Elsa sure as fuck didn’t, she went off to find her parents, and then died. She gets a cool water horse out of it. She gets to be a spirit of a first she didn’t even save. And Anna, as usual, gets nothing.

3. This is slightly more Anna specific, and it’s to do with her abandonment issues which Elsa time and again worsens. Anna is TRAUMATISED. Very clearly, traumatised. She is TERRIFIED of being abandoned and losing people. So what does Elsa, in all her wisdom, do to Anna in Frozen 2? Abandons her. And then dies (and only Elsa gets closure on her parents, like fuck Anna I guess). Elsa actively re-traumatised Anna, KNOWING Anna has some serious issues being abandoned. And then to bring up Anna’s coronation again, which Elsa doesn’t turn up for.

4. This is sort of tying in 1 and 3, and for this point I DO give her a little more slack since she’s also traumatised, but it’s running off and dumping all her responsibilities on Anna in the first movie. Again, I give her a slack on this one, since it’s intentional and she’s dealing with issues of her own. But once again, it’s that abandonment. Anna has just gotten her sister back, after years of desperately wanting to spend time with her. Of COURSE Anna would want to spend time with Elsa and be confused and have questions. Again, I understand what her parents drilled into her and all that. But, Elsa once again just…dips. Runs off into the mountain to have an (unearned) empowering song, while Anna is left to clean up her mess. While the ‘mess’ was unintentional, she was still actively running from her responsibilities as queen and dumping them on Anna. Which she goes on to do again in 2, but I digress.

5. Elsa. Just Elsa. She just pisses me off. For the above reasons, but also because I think she’s a terrible person, just in general? A lot of her attitude pisses me the fuck off. She always comes off as quite high and mighty, completely unearned. I feel this mostly in Frozen 2. She is incredibly selfish, but it is absolutely never addressed, and is instead repeatedly rewarded, while Anna is left with nothing, despite how hard she tries.

6. This one isn’t specifically against Elsa entirely, but it makes my heart hurt for Anna so I’m including it. I am devastated for Anna that she never got a proper relationship with her parents. She was completely isolated, never let outside, no sister, no parents, no one. Even before what happens as children, with what little we see of the parents and them as kids, it is incredibly clear to me that already, so much more focus is being put on Elsa. Like in the second movie, Elsa gets to enjoy the entire song from her mother, while Anna is intentionally put to sleep. Anna wanted to listen to the song too! You very easily could have put her to sleep AFTER the song was over. But no. And then again, the only one to get any kind of closure for the parents is Elsa. She gets to ‘interact’ with her mother again. Anna gets to grieve Olaf and Elsa. Anna repeatedly gets nothing. Poor Anna.

I’m sure there’s more, but it’s 1am and I haven’t watched the movies in years. But it’s something that has always stuck with me. I relate super hard to Anna and the way she gets treated. While I am the oldest, growing up was very similar to how Anna grew up. So I think it’s why it strikes such a cord with me.

In short, I think Elsa is a terrible person and I can’t stand her. She repeatedly shows that she is selfish. Etc etc.

Feel free to disagree with me and voice your own opinions! I’d love to discuss things further with anyone interested.

Thanks for letting me go on about all this!

[rustyvanburace]

you know I gotta suggest Navarre for the character ask! and asahi if you’re feeling up to it :^D

Thank you so much!

favorite thing about them: I love how much PIZZAZ he adds to the early game! How can I not like a character with such a flamboyant, demanding personality whose very presence is enough to make everyone react with shock, contempt, laughter, and awe? Navarre is an ass, but a necessary ass to carry the early narrative and add so much excitement to it. I cannot help but giggle to myself everytime he appears. AND THEN, all that character growth in IVA towards becoming a better, more self-aware ghostie. Ohhh I love he so muuuch~

least favorite thing about them: Definitely the unnecessary perversion in IVA. Enough said.

favorite line: The "dawdling Casualries" line will always hold a special place in my heart, but I am also really fond of the stuff he says when you speak with him during the training drills in one of the rest spots,

"O-Oh, it's you… I thought you to be a demon. Don't start me so… I've never carried a blade any heavier than a knife before. If Mother were to see me dashing about with such a weapon in hand, I think that she would faint…"

And

"I landed a critical blow when I accidentally tripped… The next quest was much simpler, since as you might expect, money is no object to me. 'Twas actually easier than the first. But the final challenge all depends on one's strength, and that's a field I'm particularly lacking in… S-Someone else may have first place, I care not whom. Merely let this debacle of a training exercise be done with!"

brOTP: Nanashi and Navarre are best BROS!

Bad edit aside, can't forget the actual bros, Navarre and Gaston lmao. I really enjoyed their sibling relationship and it opened up so much insight into their familial life and personal struggles. I'm so so happy they got to rekindle at the enddd, it was so sweet

OTP: Everyone knows that I am the sole resident of the Issachar x Navarre Crack Ship Kingdom!! Idgaf that they've never canonically met nor even know of each other's existence, the POTENTIAL between them is enough to keep me content and well fed! We support random rarepairs in this house!

I also really like Flynn x Navarre too and they're my second fave Navarre ship, for much the same reasons!

nOTP: Needless to say, my NOtps would be pairing Navarre with his brother or any of the IVA kids. Eeeugh. Enough said.

random headcanon: It's something I've been wanting to analyze in more depth, and IDK how much of this is actually canon or headcanon considering, but I very much fancy the idea of Navarre always having close connections with the Samurai seniors and keeping close tabs on the Rite and new inductions. He's very astute with the going-ons in Samurai business and likely has been anxiously watching them for quite some time.

unpopular opinion: I understand that Navarre is a very unlikeable character, and he's supposed to be! But it honestly does get really bothersome seeing how much dismissal, if not outright hate, he gets in the fandom. Navarre IS an important character within the early game! It is his very antics that adds the necessary tension and tone needed to carry the early narrative and worldbuilding. It does admittedly make it hard for me to approach other SMTIV fans because I like this bean so much.

But that is okay. I am perfectly content with those who seek out, stick by, and enjoy my bean musings. :)

song i associate with them: Tbh I'm pretty bad at that sort of question, lol. I don't really have one for him right now, so pass? (Open to suggestions though! I want more tunes to listen to.)

favorite picture of them: SO MANY panels of him from the Prayers manga FOR REAL. He's SO expressive in that and has TONS of good moments!! But I am especially fond of the mini bonus chapter that features Navarre~

Masataka Miura can agree: Navarre can have a little moment in the spotlight as a treat~

Thank you again so much for the ask! I think I've written quite at length here, lmao. I'm a bit tired now and I don't think I can fit Asahi here, but I could post hers later on!

[kaizsche]

day 28: royalty (preview)

note: just a lil sneak peek of what i'm working behind the scenes cos i'm afraid im gonna be a behind posting for AUgust cos 'm still sick. (i feel like my head's going to burst into tiny little pieces inside my skull as im typing this) had mighty fun editing this too!!!!!!!!!

nothing's set in stone though, so this bit i'm posting might be erased or reworked. dunno yet. gonna think about it when i feel like nobody's drilling a hole in my brain

special thanks to @qvnthesia and @katherineholmes for listening to me rant abt this in discord + @stellaris-archivum for helping me make up random stuff for the headlines

PREVIEW:

“Marriage, you say?”

When Elena was summoned to her mother’s office, she was expecting a mighty earful of her past acquaintances, though Finn had taken to calling them exploits her adviser was sworn to secrecy, but her buddies? Not so much. So far, they have demanded charges accompanied by several videos and images as proof of her indiscretions. Mother had long since equipped herself to the task of straightening her by setting up multiple arrangements across the country just to find the perfect spouse, or in the unbendable rule of patriarchy, a man—because god forbid a princess can’t marry another princess—to get her back on track with her duties.

“Yes.” Then why is she so pissed this time?

Finn shakes his head from behind the Queen. Ah, right. She shouldn’t be making mistakes right now. It hasn’t been long since the Lexi incident. 

“Don’t worry, Queen Mother. I’ll go—”

“No you will not!” The force of her yell could have metaphorically blown her away. “This is a joke! You, the future Queen of the Nation marrying a commoner?!”

Once again, Finn shakes his head from behind her mother.

Don’t anger her. 

Riiiiiiight.

[super-cosmic-library]

Part 4

part 3, part 2, part 1, ao3

“His dad literally tried to shove me into a locker, Chris,” Eddie whined as he washed the rest of the homemade avocado facemask off his face. “He was such a cliché bully, it was boring. And Steve looks almost exactly like him, but somehow I’m turned on by him? Am I actually insane?”

Chrissy rolled her eyes. Eddie had been going on about Steve nonstop since they dropped him off. At first, it was cute to see her best friend all flustered by his crush, but after a nearly thirty-minute monologue about the guy’s ass while the two did their end-of-week skincare routines, she was ready to change the subject.

“You need a drink?” Chrissy hollered from the kitchen, taking a can of La Croix from the fridge for herself. It filled her with warmth every time she saw them in there. She knew Eddie kept those drinks in there just for her. Neither of the men who lived there drank the stuff.

“Yes, please. God, I’m famished.”

She grabbed an already open bag of blood and shut the door behind her.

She’d known her best friend was a vampire for a long time. She had kind of figured it out when they started hanging out her junior year and she’d realized he had been a senior since she began high school. She didn’t know what the teachers thought, but she’d reasoned that there was no way someone could go through senior year that many times and not just drop out altogether. There had to be a bigger reason.

She took Eddie’s favorite mug—a plain white one with the words “World’s Foxiest Grandma” written in black and a picture of Garfield in a curly grey wig, a green knit shaw, and pink readers on it—off the rack on the wall and poured it half full with blood. He never needed much more for a feeding.

She placed what little remained in the bag back in the fridge, then passed the mug over to Eddie as he entered the kitchen, fresh-faced and mischievous. Although, he almost always had a mischievous glint in his eye. It was a practically permanent fixture.

She cracked open her sparkling water as he took a long sip from his mug.

“Remind me to never skip feeding ever again,” he said, licking blood from his upper lip.

She shook her head, unimpressed that a man his age struggled with taking basic care of himself. “How you’ve been able to keep yourself alive for so long is beyond me.”

“Wayne.”

“You’re a grown-ass man, and you let your brother take care of you?” Chrissy didn’t get to swear at home or anywhere else her mom might hear of it, so she reveled in doing so in the privacy of the trailer.

“What can I say? My brother is my keeper, or whatever the fuck they teach in Sunday school.”

“The fact that you know that much is impressive,” she said, vaguely remembering something like that from her own years of Sunday morning bible classes.

“Excuse you, I read my Bible every day and go to church on Sundays.”

“I find that hard to believe. You’d burst into flames if you set foot in a church, and that’s not even because of the whole vampire thing. That’s just a you thing.”

Eddie grinned wickedly. “You flatter me.”

She gave his shoulder a good shove, and he cackled in response.

Eddie threw a bag of popcorn in the microwave and started rifling through the cabinets for any other junk foods that tickled his fancy. The first time they had a “girl’s night,” Chrissy had been amazed by the abundance of junk food the Munsons had. She knew people bought things like snack cakes and potato chips, otherwise, why would stores stock them? However, because her pantry had always been filled with dried fruits, rice cakes, and almonds for snacks, she thought that was how it was for everyone. This thought had only been reinforced by her friends on the squad having very similar pantries, at least from what she saw when she went to sleepovers and study sessions at their houses.

Her mother had spent years drilling into her head how bad junk food was for her health. Growing up, the only times she ever got to have dessert were when she went to her grandma’s house. Even then, it was only one oatmeal raisin cookie after dinner. She was never allowed to eat cake at her classmates’ birthday parties. She didn’t even get to eat ice cream–only frozen yogurt with fresh fruit toppings. And afterward, her mom would force her to go on runs with her to burn off the calories.

So when Eddie first started offering her snacks when she came over, she was hesitant, to say the least. Of course, she was worried about what would happen to her figure if she ate even a single Oreo. How could she not be, after being drilled on the dangers of processed foods? But more than that, she was scared of how her mother might react if she found out Chrissy had eaten something that contained trans fats. And she would know it, right? Her mom would be able to smell the high fructose corn syrup on her breath, right?

Chrissy about damn near had a panic attack the first time she accepted an Oatmeal Cream Pie from Eddie. It was made with oatmeal. It had it in the name! It should have been healthy, right? But her body had betrayed her after she finished half of it. It wasn’t used to eating something that had more than three ingredients listed on the package. So as her stomach cramped, all she could think about was how disappointed her mother would be.

Chrissy had contemplated going to the bathroom to force herself to throw up. She knew bulimia was dangerous, so she only did it on occasion and only when she had access to a toothbrush. However, she could make an exception. Especially, she felt as bad as she had.

She hadn’t realized she was crying until Eddie asked her what was wrong.

There was something about him that made her feel safe. Like she could be herself around him and talk without a filter, and he wouldn’t judge her or talk behind her back about it. It was something she noticed during their first interaction and the feeling only grew stronger the more they became friends.

That night, she’d broken down and confessed her tumultuous relationship with food–something she had never done aloud. Eddie had sat there silently and listened as she poured out her heart. All of the not gettings and the not wantings and all of the instant regrettings. It left her feeling exposed and scared, though not because of what his reaction to all of it might be but because of what these issues she struggled with might mean about her.

When she had finished, he’d tried his best to comfort her. He had tried to talk things out with her. It helped a little, but the problem was rooted so deep, it had taken months of patient encouragement and talking with Wayne about what an actual healthy diet could look like (and not the crap the women in her mom’s Facebook groups shared) to get to where she was now.

She knew she wasn’t “fixed.” She knew she would always struggle with food to some extent. But now she could eat a slice of veggie pizza for dinner and have Eddie-approved snacks and not have a meltdown afterward. After years of drowning in her mother’s trendy diets and daily exercise regimens, she finally felt like she could breathe.

Chrissy grabbed a bag of M&Ms and poured some into the metal popcorn bowl. If she left Eddie to do it, he would forget to put them in until after the popcorn, which meant they would lose precious time warming up under the heat of the popped kernels. And Chrissy liked them warm.

She padded over to the living room in her fuzzy penguin socks to connect her laptop to the Munsons’ shitty little TV and pull up YouTube.

“No, not this movie again,” Eddie groaned as the intro music to But I’m a Cheerleader filled the room.

“It’s a classic!” She gasped. “Do you hate classics?”

Eddie plopped down on the couch behind her, popcorn bowl resting in his lap. “Only when we’ve already watched them a million times.”

“It has not been a million times.” Chrissy sunk into the couch next to him.

The couch, like many other things in the Munson trailer, was much older than her. She would argue that those things were also much more well-loved than her, but that would start an unwinnable argument between the two of them.

It was one of those couches where the springs were kind of busted and the cushions could no longer keep their shape, so you felt like you were going to be swallowed up whenever you sat down. Then, when two people tried to sit on it, they would always end up tumbling to the center of the couch, all pressed up against each other.

The first time Chrissy ever visited the trailer, she made the mistake of trying to sit next to Eddie on it. She still swore (jokingly) that she had almost been crushed to death by him because of it.

Chrissy loved Eddie’s home because it was nothing like hers. Eddie and Wayne didn’t decorate to impress company as her mother had. They decorated with things that made them happy, like Wayne's hat and mug collections that were displayed along the ceiling of the living room or the framed and completed jigsaw puzzle hanging above Wayne’s sitting chair. It gave the place more character than the abstract paintings her mom had found at Home Goods. Ones that looked like they belonged in a hotel room rather than the house of a suburban family.

The Munsons’ furniture was practical and useful. The tables weren’t replaced because they were mismatched. The lamps were repaired when they broke. Pieces were thrifted and not in the way Chrissy’s mom “thrifted” things–by strolling through different discount stores or scrolling through Wayfair and Etsy. No, these things were found at Goodwill and the Salvation Army. Chrissy should know. When their box TV finally gave out, it was Chrissy and Eddie who spent all day scouring the local thrift stores in search of a new one–picking up clothes and other tchotchkes that caught their eyes and they went along.

The entire trailer was always clean; however, it was also constantly cluttered. This was primarily due to Eddie’s inability to focus on a single task, often setting things down the forgetting they existed. This led to half-painted minis and bottles of paint left on the coffee table. Campaign notes, unfinished homework assignments, and paper scraps of scribbled song lyrics stacked on the kitchen table. A can of hairspray sat next to the toaster. And dozens upon hundreds of guitar picks in the carpet, next to the kitchen sink, in the cupboards, on the bathtub ledge, behind the dryer, wedged between the couch cushions, and so many other places Chrissy couldn’t possibly begin to fathom. The space felt lived in. Unlike her own home, where unless the place was shining, sparkling, and spotless, it was considered a pigsty.

So, yeah, Chrissy preferred spending her time at her best friend’s home much more than she did at her own home.

As the montage of the campers “learning” traditional gender roles played, Chrissy pulled out her box of nail supplies. “What color this week.”

He took a contemplative sip from his mug. “I’m feeling blue.”

“Really?” She asked, setting aside the black nail polish she had been taking out for him. He usually only ever had his nails painted black. On one occasion, he wanted them blood red, but he spent the following days complaining about how bright they were until he finally picked all of the paint off.

“Yeah. Kinda want to switch things up.”

“And this has nothing to do with the blue sweater Steve wore tonight?”

“I am offended that you would accuse me of such behavior.”

“So it has nothing to do with Steve?”

“Absolutely not.” He plucked a midnight blue bottle of nail polish out of her carrying case. The color was so dark, it was nearly black, but there was a slight shimmer to it that one could tell it wasn’t. Maybe she had been wrong, she conceded.

She picked out a lime green color for herself and handed it to Eddie. The two slid down to sit on the floor, so they could use the coffee table to use as a workspace. Chrissy laid her hands palms down on a paper towel. Eddie uncapped the bottle and began to carefully brush the cool paint on her nails.

When they started doing each other’s nails, Chrissy had been surprised at how well Eddie was able to paint hers. Back when they were dating, whenever she asked Jason to help her with her left hand, he always bemoaned doing something so “girly” (his words). Then, he would do such a shit job at actually painting them, that most of the time she would have to scrub it off with nail polish remover and attempt to do it herself to slightly better results. Despite his attitude, she could tell that Jason had actually tried his best to help her out–his face twisting, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration. It wasn’t some sort of attempt at weaponized incompetence, simply inexperience and shaky hands. Even though his complaining had made her feel small, she couldn’t fault him for not trying.

Eddie’s hands, by contrast, were meticulously still. She supposed it made sense due to all of the miniature Dungeons and Dragons figurines he enjoyed painting. He’d ensure the brush wasn’t overloaded with paint, then carefully apply each layer, swiping around her nail with his to collect any excess paint. Because he did this, her nails were always the ones to get painted first. That way, he wouldn’t get any brightly colored paint on his fresh dark nails.

“All joking aside, I’m glad that Steve was able to come tonight. He’s a fun guy. I like how he makes you light up.”

With his wild hair pulled up in a top bun, she was able to see his cheeks flush. “Shut up.”

“It’s true!” She laughed, careful not to jostle her hands. “I like seeing you happy.”

“Well, we should have him bring Buckley next time. How’s that sound, Chris?”

Chrissy turned tomato red. “I swear to god, Eddie.”

“What? What do you swear?” He challenged her.

“I’ll kill you.”

“Pfft,” he waved her off. “That’s an empty threat. You know I can’t die.”

“Then I’ll find a way to end you. Or maybe I’ll just lock you in a coffin and bury you alive. That way you’ll never get out.”

“Cold, Cunningham. Metal, but cold.”

“Thank you.” She grabbed a few pieces of popcorn with the hand Eddie hadn’t painted yet, and popped them in her mouth.

He watched her as she ate. He did that sometimes. It was a little strange, but she knew it came from a place of concern. He wanted to know that she was taking care of herself. Even though she sometimes wanted to shove his face away from her direction, she couldn’t fault him for worrying. She worried about him too.

She worried about what the people in their small-minded town would do if they found out what he was. She was well aware that people in her parents' circles believed with their whole hearts that things like demons and Halloween witches were real. She’d heard some of them rile themselves up by talking about burning witches alive like it was seventeenth-century Salem and not twenty-first-century Hawkins. She wasn’t sure what her parents thought of their friends' righteous rages, but the sheer fact of their keeping those friendships meant Chrissy had to sneak around if she wanted to be herself.

They didn’t know she was friends with Eddie Munson, let alone about their weekly girls’ nights. She let them think she was sleeping over at a teammate’s house. They didn’t know she was a lesbian, despite the rumors at school, or about the Tarot cards and crystals she kept under her bed. She knew that her parents loved her, even though they had a difficult time showing it. But she didn’t know if that love would change if they knew these things. She didn’t really want to know. She looked forward to the day she left for college and would be able to stop feeling like she was sneaking around all the time.

“Maybe we could invite Robin next time?” She said, timidly.

“Fuck yeah,” he pumped his fist in the air. “Mark my words, we are getting you a girlfriend.”

Chrissy giggled. She was really going to miss him when college started next fall.

Tag list:

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