#my most active time in the da fandom was back on deviantart and we all just made memes and wrote fanfic in my circle over there fsdfdk

[voerman]

person who likes dragon age but was never in the Fandom voice: people are annoying about purple hawke?

[chicoriii]

Your Miraculous Story

Since there's a Sweet-ember event in the fandom for 5th anniversary of Miraculous, I think it's the perfect moment to make a post I wanted to for a long time but I was too busy with making fanarts or too lazy to write this.

How and when you got introduced to the Miraculous? And what was your first impression?

I haven't seen a single episode until October 2019 (or late September, I'm not sure), but I have already heard about the show around 2016. The Chat Noir fanart of my old friend I have seen on her deviantART (she also has Tumblr account, but that’s inactive for over 2 years) was my first encounter with Miraculous I remember. We were close internet friends around 10 years ago (we have even met in real life once), both active in the Pokémon community on deviantART back then. Although I haven't talked to her for years, I had used to visit her DA from time to time. I have heard about the show more times before the second half of 2019, but I have never tried to watch it.

That changed when Puls 2, a Polish television station which isn't a typical kid channel but it shows variety of animations from 6 to 20 (even movies in weekends), has began airing Miraculous in September 2019 (from the start it was the whole season 1 and the first half of season 2). Of course the Polish Disney Channel also airs Miraculous since 2015 like most of European countries, but Puls 2 is quite easily accessible, while all the Disney channels are not (I have never had access to any in my house). I have much contact with kids shows on TV thanks to children around me and since we're watching Puls 2 often (their selection of cartoons is quite good, in my opinion definitely the best from all channels I have access to, even if there's also that annoying Alvin and the Chipmunks CGI animation). So I had to see Miraculous sooner or later there. I have also been very curious about the show as I have been aware it's popular among adults. And finally it did happen around October I have mentioned above.

I don't remember the exact first episode I have seen, but I think it was something from season 2 (that's why it's more possible that it happened in October than September). Now I think it could be Despair Bear. My first impression wasn't too good. I couldn't realized what makes Miraculous special among other kid shows. For instance in Despair Bear I have seen a typical bully girl (though thankfully without a group of other snobbish girls who admire her, like in many other shows) who isn't well-liked among kids in the school (which was very good in my opinion), but that main male, who is the love interest of the lead female, likes her for some reason. Back then I hadn't understand their relationship, so I thought he defended her only because the show writers wanted him to be that Perfect Boy who is nice for everyone, no matter how terrible persons they are. So I really disliked Adrien at first, he seemed to be too perfect to me (I just haven’t taken into account his Chat Noir side). I had no idea how much wrong I was, both Adrien and Chloé are more complicated characters than I could imagine back then. Despite all that, I decided to give a show a chance and try to watch it online after some time but still in October.

I started with season 2, because I thought it should be better than season 1 for some reason. My intuition wasn't wrong in that case, I like season 2 (and 3) much more than the first one. I had much time on my hands then, so I have seen all seasons 1 and 2 episodes in Polish and subs of most of season 3 before November. In Poland season 3 has premiered on 4th November, but the whole season was aired in just a month (the finale has premiered on 6th December, both episodes were aired at the same day, one after another). I have been drawn into Miraculous fandom quickly and I have created my Tumblr blog on 15th December.

In this post we are doing also tag people we're curious the most, to encourage them to tell their Miraculous story. But there's no pressure to write anything. If you're not interested just ignore it.

@vampexx @veroocasanova @zinnianana @flightfoot @familyagrestefanblog @emsylcatac @kisilinramblings @whimsicallyconfusedforlife @miraculousmyblog 

And everyone who wants to. I invite everyone to creating a post with our Miraculous stories. Thank you. :)

[little-red-toyota]

Final good bye to the fandom

TW//Trauma, triggers, nsfw, sexual themes, rape, domestic abuse e.g.

This is gonna be a long ass post…

It has taken me a while to get emotionally strong enough to do this, as I will have to think back at some traumatic events from my past to address some of these things. That's why I waited until I got home from vacation with my family, as it will seriously affect my mood and mental health, and I want to be near my doctor and therapist, just in case.

And also, I know that the majority of those reading this will invalidate me and tell me I am making things up to clear my name. So, I literally have to torment myself to write a blog post people will just brush off as bogus anyway. But I will do it now that I am in safe surroundings. Then it will be off my chest, and I can finally move on. If people will continue stirring up the past, it will be their problem, not mine.

I think I should write one last blog post where I address everything. I have left the TTTE-fandom, but I will write that one as my final goodbye to the fandom. I just have to find out everything I've been accused of so I can properly address them all in order. I might leave out details of my life that is too hard for me to open up about. I know most of you will just invalidate me anyway.

1. The Stepney fic and glorifying rape.

2. My mafia-AU.

3. The Darin incident.

4. Being a pedophile. (Where do they get this from anyway??)

5. Running the NSFW-blog.

6. Drawing penises/boobs on trains. Drawing age-regression art.

Is there more?

Ah... yes! Faking my own suicide, of course!

7. "Faking" being suicidal.

8. Having the audacity to survive and go on living.

9. "Making up" my past trauma to justify writing fics to cope with it.

10. Being a nazi for being interested in WW2 history and for being Norwegian and having so-called nazi-letters in my last name (actual letters of the Norwegian alphabet).

11. Putting a white-supremacist flag (the actual flag of Norway) on my porch on family birthdays and our national day.

12. Being a danger to my daughter.

Anything else that needs to be addressed? What else am I being accused of? Send me a dm and I will add it to the post.

 Okay, I will bump the Stepney fic down a bit as it is the most traumatic thing for me to address, I will save that one for last.

2 and 3. The dark au/mafia au where I gave some TTTE characters some rather dark and unpleasant character traits, and the whole incident with Darin and the pedo-Salty was addressed in this blog post written by my husband last year, so I am not opening that can of worms again: https://little-red-toyota.tumblr.com/post/623743183795470336/in-light-of-recent-events

Even the thing about Toby cheating on Henrietta is addressed there.

As for the au, I never fully explored it as I started losing interest in TTTE around the same time. I found other things to enjoy and TTTE faded into the background and the au was dropped before I even wrote any stories, apart from the one about Toby and Henrietta.

Some people claim, like this lovely individual, that most of the characters were rapists and pedos. No, not most. Only one of each. And I did not write more than one story about rape and suicide. Where does this person even get that from? Someone who told someone who had heard from someone who might have heard….?

Don't spread rumors unless you are sure that they are true.

Anyway, it's all addressed in that blog post in that link. I don't see how this mafia au is any worse than other dark post-apocalyptic or violent aus. It mostly was about the diesel mafia and their illegal businesses, not about sex, even if it did occur now and then. I find the substance abuse in it to be more problematic tbh…  

 4. Being a pedophile.

I don't even know how to defend myself against this one, as I don't even know why people think I am pedophile. They only throw the accusation out with no backing evidence, so I have no idea where it comes from or what it is that makes people think I am one.

Apart from one claim that I had faved "porn" alongside "strangers'" baby photos on DA. I addressed that earlier though. As DeviantArt doesn't sort what you click "like" on, it all ends up in the same folder unless you actively go through it and sort it into categories, which I don't bother most of the time. It also doesn't say WHEN it was added to your faves. So, I can have faved an artistic nude on Saturday, and then faved my friend's family photo on Thursday. It's not like I actively search for porn, get all steamed up and then look at pictures of children. WTF.

The few children I have faved are not from complete strangers, but long-term friends of mine. Yes, it is possible to have friends on the same website. I have actually met a lot of my RL friends through DeviantArt. I posted photos of my daughter when she was a baby, they would fave it and congratulate me. So, I did the same when they had a baby. As simple as that. Nothing weird or perverted about it. Due to people doxxing me last year however, I deleted the photos of me, my husband and my daughter from DeviantArt, so it's no longer there.

Porn isn't allowed on DeviantArt anyway. The nudes there are so-called artistic nudes, and for the most part I use them as pose-references when I draw as it is easier to draw a pose using a nude base and then dress them up once you got the pose right.

"The very naked" centaurs I have faved. Well, I like the mythological creature Centaur. And as far as I know… they do not wear clothes, so how are they NOT nude? Look it up, it's a horse body with a human torso instead of horse head. I don't see them as sexual, but what do I know? Maybe YOU do?

I have no sexual interest in children whatsoever.

 5. Running the NSFW-blog on Tumblr and Twitter.

Yes. I was one of six people modding that blog. ONE of six, so I refuse to take the full blame here.

MerciResolution has openly admitted to being the founder, and she recruited me and some others to modify as the confession load became too heavy for one person to handle alone.

The original blog on Tumblr worked as follows: People would anonymously send a confession to our askbox, we would add a picture (sometimes photoshopped) to the text and post it on the blog. Always tagged as NSFW and with proper trigger warnings if necessary! The blog itself was also marked as explicit, so it didn't appear in searches and such.

For us, this blog was nothing but a joke. We did it for shits and giggles. If anyone took it seriously and thought we got off to the stuff that was posted, we apologize for that, but to us it was just for laughs. And we DID laugh a lot, you guys should have seen the weird shit people sent us sometimes!

We had fun and we never thought anyone would take it seriously, so we never thought of writing "joke" in the description or anything. It never occurred to us that it could be anything but a joke.

We also made a Twitter account for it, also locked for minors. But it was quickly hacked, and someone changed the password so we could no longer access it. We made another account and forgot about the old one…

After a while, the original mods started losing interest and the blog (both on Tumblr and Twitter) became less active. That's when a person I had known for years, and wrongfully trusted, came forward and wanted to take over ownership. So, the ownership was handed over to Russalita/Charlie.

That turned out to be huge mistake!

Me and the other mods had more or less forgotten that the blogs existed, when suddenly someone started bashing me and getting up in my arms over it. I got seriously confused as I hadn't been active on it in almost a year. But as it turned out, Russalita had removed the mature filters and made the accounts open for all the see. Even minors.

And as people knew I was one of the mods, they fired their guns at me. I can see why though, so I'm not pointing any fingers here.

I tried contacting her by phone, asking her to lock the accounts again, but she gave me a less than polite response, hung up and then blocked my number…

So, I decided to try to shut the blogs down on my own, trying the old passwords. It worked on the Tumblr-account, and I managed to password protect it, for some reason it couldn't be fully deleted. But the Twitter account had gotten its password changed by Russalita. I was however able to get a new password by logging into the e-mail we had used to create it. I deleted the Twitter blog fully. It can't be re-activated even if we wanted to. It's gone.

But it turns out the old, hacked one is still up and now open for everyone. And this one poses a huge problem as we have no way of getting into it to delete it. Only thing we have been able to do so far is reporting it and hope it will be removed by Twitter. So I only have one thing to say about it: report it.

I am no longer running any NSFW TTTE blog anywhere, nor do I have interest in doing so. So, if you come across one, claiming to be me or any of the other mods, it is false.

 6. Drawing penises/boobs on trains. Drawing age-regression art.

People seem to believe I have drawn genitals on trains. I have never done such. Any art on the NSFW-blog with genitalia on the trains were sent in by confessors and was not drawn by me. Most of them seems to have been drawn by someone who goes by the name "The Lance".

I HAVE drawn things for the NSFW blog, but there were no genitalia in those drawings. I drew Frank of Arlesdale looking grossed out by (I don't know what the part is named in English, but it is connected to the brakes of the engine) that stick-like thing on his bufferbeam being wet from whatever the confessor did to him. I drew an over-exaggerated comical pic of a horrified Peter Sam getting his face licked by his driver, who had an enormous tongue. I also did a couple of manips. Mostly maniping engine faces on humans, like the one where Gordon's face is on a less than fit guy flailing his shirt around, and the Arlesdale smallies' faces on a movie poster from Magic Mike. One with Mr.Conductor in a giant bun while Pinchy is applying ketchup on him, for a confession about eating him, I think?  I've done some more, but I forgot what it was, I only know I loved making them comical rather than erotic, as I saw the blog as a joke overall.

I HAVE also drawn aheago faces on engines because it looks hilarious. Though I have only drawn them on my OCs and the NRS engines, not TTTE characters.

Point is I have never drawn genitalia on trains. Ever. And I likely never will. It's not THAT much fun drawing NSFW stuff.

I see from this screenshot that a certain MK-Instrumentalist claim that all my personal art is age-regression art and infantilism…

Whose art have you been looking at? Because it's definitely not mine. I have drawn a couple of baby/chibi diesels… But claiming that all of my 700 or so artworks are depicting infantilism and age-regression stuff? I suggest people go have a look for themselves. I haven't drawn that. That MK-guy has been desperately trying to cancel me for ages for reasons only himself know. I don't even know the guy, and he doesn't know me, yet he wants to see me beheaded. Go figure.

I was for a long time bothered by some age-regressor on Tumblr who just wouldn't leave me alone with their weird asks, who tried to force themselves on me and some other artists here. They claim age-regression isn't a fetish, but the shit they sent to my askbox certainly looked like a fetish to me.

I don't want anything to do with that stuff. It weirds me out.

And no. I have never drawn pedophilia or rape art either. This guy can't even make up his mind on which one to accuse me of.

 7 and 8. Faking suicide and having the audacity to survive and go on living.

As many know, after the intense shitstorm against me last summer, thanks to Darin, I attempted suicide. I didn't succeed as my husband came home early. I was gone for a few days but returned when a young boy reached out to me for help as he was being groomed and didn't know who else to turn to.

Recently I saw a screenshot where someone claimed me to have faked suicide, and that I just came back after a few days when everything had died down.

Wow.

I am truly sorry I survived.

I don't remember much from those days to be honest, but as the load became too heavy and the bullying too intense, piling up on 30 years of old trauma… I decided to end it. I must warn you guys who might get triggered now; there are detailed descriptions of a suicide attempt. Proceed with caution. People told me I was a bad mother among other things, having had those same thoughts myself (according to my husband, I am a good mom) and people just confirming them, I thought that my daughter would be better off growing up without me. I could have chosen a more effective suicide method, but I was afraid my daughter would be the first to find me, so I wanted it to be clean and look like I was just sleeping. That way it could be explained as natural causes.

So, I decided to overdose on pills. I downed all pills I could find in the house that had a warning triangle on it (strong pain meds etc.) and then went to my computer to delete my online existence, especially the personal data.

As a former paramedic, I should have known better. Because after half an hour, my body started reacting. But not the way I had hoped and wanted. I started retching and almost vomiting. That's when my husband came home from work and found me. He immediately saw the empty packages and knowing my past suicidal tendencies, he reacted instinctively. He put his fingers down my throat and had me puke everything up, then he called an ambulance and had me admitted to the hospital.

I don't remember anything from the days I spent there. But I have been told they emptied my stomach and gave me lots of fluids. I was then assigned a psychiatrist which I am still seeing today.

I was gone for those days because I was in hospital, not because I was pulling some kind of trick and pretending to have ended myself.

So… I am sorry I "faked" my suicide.

I'm sorry my husband saved me. I am sorry the medics and doctors succeeded in saving my life.

I am sorry I survived and proceeded to live on. If I ever make another attempt, I promise to do better.

Why are you guys so persistent in trying to push people to suicide anyway? Do you get a kick out of it? Why do people have to be pushed to that point before you care?

What did we tell our daughter? Simply that I got sick and had to go to the hospital. She took that well.

I've seen a lot of people wonder why I am still around. Why shouldn't I? Does my daughter deserve to lose her mother over some online crap she doesn't even know about? I owe her to live and watch her grow up, to help her with her homework and whatever else a parent needs to do. I also owe my husband to stay by his side, like I promised him the day we got married. Even if I do not wish to live.

I'm sorry I survived, guys. Really, I am.

 9. "Making up" my past trauma to justify writing fics to cope with it. And 1. The Stepney fic and glorifying rape.

 First… why would anyone make up trauma? It's not like it's a competition to have the worst life, is it?

Sadly, I don't have to make up anything. My life HAS been rocky up until the birth of my daughter. I have been through so much trauma I couldn't even fathom it myself before my therapist listed it all up to me. Until then, I had just been casually talking to her about it, like I would talk about the weather. I didn't cry or get in touch with my emotions even once while telling everything, because I was taught from an early age to never complain, to suck it up and go on. So, no matter what people did to me, I would just smile and go on, even if it killed me inside. I did not want to show any sign of weakness, because then they would attack me. A habit I developed through years of being bullied in school. Never show feelings, just pretend nothing could hurt you, then they would eventually grow tired of it and stop.

Except they never did. They kept going through all my years at school. To such an extent, my boyfriend didn't dare to show himself hanging out with me out of fear of being bullied himself… And as we grew older, he would start cheating on me too. And I kept smiling…

My next boyfriend was a bit older than me, and while that didn't bother me, as we were both well over legal age, it bothered him. We only lasted one year before he bailed out and ditched me out of the blue via an sms.

The next guy… was the one who scarred me for life. Both physically and mentally. A charmer at first of course, until I was trapped. He was unemployed, so he moved in with me, and I paid for everything from food to phone bills. All while he was dating several women behind my back, calling various pay-phone services and in general acted like a manwhore. As I worked as an electrician (also being subject to massive bullying and sexual harassment at work), he would be jealous of all my co-workers and if I ever came home late or worked overtime, he accused me of cheating and was extremely violent about it. He would also isolate me from my friends and family, making me think I couldn't get any other than him. If any of my male friends (almost all my friends are male…) came over, he would give me such hell afterwards, it was easier just to tell them it was a bad time to visit. And after a while, they stopped asking. This guy also demanded sex. Every single day. If I refused, he would punish me, mostly by flogging me with lampcords, belts or whatever else he had at hand. My back is a criss cross map of old, faded scars even now nearly 20 years later. I would have shown you a photo, but I am so self-concious about my body after all the bullying, I hardly even show my face in photos. Maybe one day… but I certainly need more therapy before being able to show naked skin to strangers, even if it's just my back. So I had non-consensual sex with him more often than consensual. It has taken me hours in therapy to even take the word in my mouth and call it by its proper name: rape. I was raped, almost every single day for little over a year, before I found the strength to break out of the relationship and finally throw him out of my house. It all ended when I found some revealing texts on his cellphone, which he was extremely protective of… Texts that revealed that he had engaged in a relationship with a 12 year old girl, and it had been going on for a while. Not only was he cheating on me, but he was a pedophile too. Needless to say, I didn't even let him pack his stuff before I fetched my shotgun and chased him out of the house. I don't know where I got the courage and strength from… but I was furious.

I thought I had gotten rid of him, but no. He started stalking me in public. Hiding behind shelves when I was shopping, his car following mine everywhere I went. I received weird letters in the mail with cut-out letters from newspapers, glued together. On top of all, his creepy, old uncle called me with some rather disgusting suggestions and tried to come on to me really hard. I had to change my phone number, and after coming home to my house and finding out someone had entered my home using a key, only to empty the drawer of my night table, I also had to change the locks of my doors as he had clearly copied the key.

He didn't stop until I got the police involved.

So, when I finally met the guy who would become my husband (or rather, we found out we were made for each other, we had known each other since we were 11 years old), I had major trust issues towards men especially and it took him endless patience and love to break me out of that shell.

But the trauma doesn't stop… or start there.

In the year 2000, on January 4th, I would experience something that made me unable to even look at a train for over 10 years. The Åsta accident (google it). I was a volunteer in the Norwegian Red Cross then, and a paramedic in training. Back then, you were allowed to start training the year you would turn 16. So, I was still 15 when I witnessed the most traumatic event of my life. The day started out calm, we were stocking up the ambulance after delivering a patient to the hospital when we got a call with the code "500", which means "catastrophe". Normally when we get that code it is a rehearsal… so we drove towards the coordinates with the thoughts that this was just an exercise, nothing real… we didn't prepare ourselves mentally… And we ended up in the closest thing to hell I have ever been… The sight of the burning trains, the smells, the sounds, the screaming… I still wake up by nightmares to this day. Though the moment that haunts me the most is when the screaming stopped… because we all knew why… I don't want to go into details, but 19 people died that day. But we also saved 67 people. I try to hold on to that thought. The age limit for starting paramedic training was raised after this, as I wasn't the only one who was too young for an accident of that scale. Today it is 18. A memorial stone has been placed on the site, but I still haven't been able to bring myself to visit it, even if we drive past the site every year on our way to visit family further north in the country. I needed hours of therapy to even be able to ride a train after this. To have gotten to the point where I now volunteer at a heritage railway and is in training to become a driver, is a HUGE step for me. My next goal is to visit the site of the accident.

On to next trauma… A previous employer, a rather large electric company in Norway, whom I worked for 8 years. The first five years were great, we were a close-knit bunch of electricians, and we had a great relationship with the bosses and higher-ups. Our labor union was strong.

It all started changing in 2009 when we got new leaders… and those decided to get rid of everyone who were a member of the union. One by one, they started harassing workers in various ways, trying to get them to quit. In Norway, they need a legal reason to fire you, it's not enough to not like someone. There has to be a good reason to fire someone e.g. theft, neglecting work… Since they didn't have any reasons to fire us, they started making our work lives gradually harder and harder until we would break and find another job. Sadly, one of my co-workers couldn't stand the pressure… He bid us all farewell as normal one Friday and hung himself the following day.. But as I was a girl in a male-dominated profession, I had been taught at an early stage to ignore anything that would hurt me emotionally, just arch my neck and plow through. I kept doing that, despite starting to feel more and more mental and physical pains… even my co-workers pointed out how I was being mistreated before I acknowledged it myself. I tried to tell my boss, but he reacted by treating me worse. So, I went to his boss… and that's when things went to hell. Instead of doing his job and listen, he started harassing me too. He deemed my over-weight a problem, and he started demanding I gave him detailed lists of what I ate and how much I worked out… Completely illegal of course, but by this point I was broken down to the point I thought I was useless and couldn't get another job… so I accepted. He started accusing me of lying about my exercise, so I started training at the gym in the basement at work instead. One day, while I was there, he locked the doors and turned the lights off. There were no windows, no cellphone reception and hardly anyone walking by in that part of the building… I sat there in the pitch dark for 3 hours before I was let back out. I still get badly triggered by narrow, dark rooms and rooms with no windows. To such an extent, I jumped out of a small window on the second floor of a gym when I was in boot camp. I was allowed to train downstairs in the bigger gym with windows on all walls after that incident…

The harassment at work went on for years until I finally snapped, ended up at the hospital and got into therapy for the first time. I don't want to go into depth about what more happened, I just can't… I can't bring myself to write it all. Luckily, I had gotten more education while working, so when I graduated, another company called and gave me an offer I just couldn't refuse. So, I quit my job and never looked back, even if the traumas I suffered there still haunts me to this day.

Sadly, even after switching jobs, now getting a safe job with sane leaders… I started to relax, and that's when all my past trauma came washing over me. And one day, on while driving to work, I had my first serious panic attack. It started as this feeling I used to have at the old company; getting sick to my stomach and having the sense of someone being out to get me… then it developed to breathing problems… and I had to pull the car over. I broke into tears, struggling to breathe, stumbling out of the car to read the logo on its side just to reassure my body and brain that I worked for a different company now and there was no reason for panic. I called my boss and let him know, because he also was a "refugee" from that other company, so he knew what me and several others had gone through. He managed to talk me down enough for me to come to the office to talk to him. That helped.

I got back into therapy. A better therapist this time. But sadly, it got apparent that I could no longer work as an electrician as there was too many triggers. I was diagnosed with PTSD, severe depression, and social anxiety. I'm still working on these and get better slowly.

I have been in therapy for a long time now, and it was my therapist that suggested I wrote fics to cope and "write it out". I tried to make up my own characters for this, but never felt any connection. I was by this time in the TTTE fandom and had met people with similar trauma and pasts like myself, and I started roleplaying with some of them. Me and a girl from UK then agreed to try to rp/co-write a fic to cope with our trauma. We both found it easier to write about pre-established characters we had a connection to, even if it was an au that made it barely recognizable from the original source material. Only the names and some minor things were similar.

That fic was Stepney's Virginity Gets Lost.

Do we regret writing it? No. It helped us write out our traumas and helped us overcome some mental obstacles in out therapy process. Our therapists cheering us on, because we finally managed to break through the hard shell surrounding us. We both cried for the first time in years while writing it, some of it through roleplay, because some parts were extremely graphic and brutal and very mentally exhausting. We had to take long breaks between each writing session, so the fic wasn't written in just a weekend. But we got a lot of darkness out of our minds by writing all this. And we were definitely NOT aroused by it, like this pervert here claims.

It's when you dare to touch and feel the difficult and dark emotions, you can finally move along in the grieving process.

Should it have been posted online?

In retrospect, no. But at the time, we thought it might help other trauma victims, as we also found reading about other people's experiences and fictions touching painful subjects helpful to ourselves. So, we posted it, never expecting it to cause such a controversy 3 years later. In fact, we had more or less forgotten about it until it came back to bit us in the ass. Or rather, bite ME in the ass, as I am getting the full blame alone.

Also, despite what people claim, it was not posted openly for children to read. It was tagged properly and hidden behind mature content walls. If a minor chooses to break that wall, that's not the author's fault. It's the same as watching a movie with an age restriction way above your age, not the filmmaker's fault.

I think MerciResolution puts it nicely here:

"If your problem lies with you KNOWINGLY entering adult spaces when you’re a minor, ignoring all mature warnings that are literally SCREAMING at you “hey, this is what you’re getting into. Are you sure you want to proceed?”

That’s ENTIRELY on you. YOU are the fucking problem.

We’re marking mature things as best as we properly can. If you decide to ignore them, that’s your own damn fault. We’re not your fucking babysitters."

Also, I never posted the story on Wattpad, so if anyone has done that, it's not me. I posted the story on Fanfiction.net, DeviantArt and AO3, that's all. If it's posted anywhere else, it's not done by me.

I had honestly moved on from it when people pulled me back into it.

Other people who have done questionable shit in that fandom are easily forgiven because "they have moved on" or "changed". Yet, nobody believes I can move on or change…?

I had moved on; my interests had changed. But people won't let me, so here I am… Having to defend some crap I did years ago. A fic I no longer have any interest in.

I'm not even interested in TTTE anymore. I have moved on with my own book project now and I would like to focus on that.

So, deleting my TTTE content, whether it was the SFW or NSFW stuff, didn't cost me a penny. It actually felt like a relief. The only downside with it is that people now can't read it and make up their own opinion about it, but will solely believe in what others say, and those things are often seriously bent out of shape and blown out of proportions to such an extent it's barely recognizable.

If people claim that Arry and Bert rape Stepney in the fic, they have never seen it or read it. That's not what happens. That's just an assumption made by looking at the title and knowing there is a rape/torture scene in it. But I'm not gonna tell who the victim is or who performed it, because this is the only way I am able to tell who has actually read the fic or not, who is just trying to spread bullshit and who is actually telling the truth. The person in that screenshot, has no idea what he's talking about.

Does SVGL romanticize rape and abuse?

No, not in the least. It's described as the horrible, heinous acts it is and is in no way meant to be cute or romantic and definitely NOT something anyone should get off to. If anyone finds it sexy, that's their problem, not the authors'. If anything, SVGL might romanticize suicide, because one of the characters isn't able to cope with his trauma and chooses to end their life. Which is something I considered doing myself when I was in the darkest pit of depression. So, I apologize for maybe romanticizing suicide. The following chapters describe how friends and family handle the loss and grief.

It also describes a toxic relationship, where one of the parts struggles to get out of it. They eventually manage to break free, but it is not easy. This can easily be translated to my previously mentioned relationship, as it was my way of writing out my experience about how hard it is to break out of a relation when your partner has broken you down to the point where you no longer believe in yourself and your self-worth.

The last chapters start to gradually become brighter, as both our lives started getting better too. But we never really wrote the end because we both lost interest in writing TTTE content by that time and just left it hanging.

I'm not the only one who has written NSFW TTTE fanfics out there. But it seems like violence and murder is more acceptable than sexual things? I do wonder how brutally mutilating children's show characters are more tolerable than sexually abusing them. Neither should be okay.

Some content creators hide behind "it was a joke". I have been told that such topics that SVGL touches upon shouldn't be joked about… so I didn't do that, and yet it was wrong? So how should such topics be treated? Be hidden like it's a shame, like in the old days when rape victims were told to suck things up and keep it to themselves? When those subject to abuse didn't dare to speak up because people would judge them?

I think it is important to talk about these subjects and why they are so problematic. Victims shouldn't have to hide their trauma; they should be allowed to talk openly about it without fearing judgement.

Some of you claim that writing isn't a good way to cope… You're trying to dictate how trauma victims deal with their trauma, and that's a dangerous path to walk down. Nobody handles trauma the same way. You might have your thoughts on how you would react, but you'll never know until trauma hits you… and you might not react the way you had expected or planned. Trauma messes with your head and you won't be able to think clearly. It makes you do thinks you normally wouldn't have done and can make you act out of character. So, do not judge people without having been in the same situation yourself. Ever.

Someone wrote that I have "more problems that just a rape".

Read that again.

Just a rape.

This person does not know how damaging a rape can be. And if you made it this far in this post, you know I didn't only go through one, but several. Not just by my ex, but also being ambushed while I was walking home from a party, and later; a co-worker forcing himself onto me at a building site. I can't go into depth about them all, I just can't.

Just a rape…

"Just" the feeling of not being in control of your own body and your own decisions. "Just" being robbed off your dignity and self-worth. "Just" having someone intrude into your private zone, tear your clothes off and claim your body against your will. "Just" feeling how your life force leave you as you realize that fighting against it won't help you, and you silently give up and just lay down waiting for it all to be over. "Just" spending hours in the shower, scrubbing your skin until you bleed because you can't wash the filth away and you keep feeling dirty no matter how much you clean yourself. "Just" waking up at night, after having relived the scene again in a nightmare. "Just" looking over your shoulder wherever you walk because you heard something or thought you saw something or simply because someone is walking behind you. "Just" the fact that you'll never feel comfortable walking alone at night again or have someone walk behind you. "Just" never being able to relax because your body constantly think you're in grave danger. "Just" a rape…

That's such a neck-beard thing to say. Someone who clearly think of other people's bodies as property or things. Not taking into consideration that we are living, breathing individuals with feelings. And that having another person violate us isn't something we like or that we'll easily get over. We want to choose who we give ourselves to, nobody should be forced. We didn't ask to be raped. We didn't want it. We didn't like it.

Rape is trauma.

Yes, we should have chosen other characters for the story, but we did what we did, and it cannot be undone now. So, if the only thing I will be remembered for in the fandom is that ONE fic, instead of all my other content, that's what it will be. That's what people chose to. I'm moving on.

10. Being a nazi for being interested in WW2 history and for being Norwegian and having so-called nazi-letters in my last name (actual letters of the Norwegian alphabet).

*sigh*

This is something that could only happen in America, isn't it?

Some people don't bother educating themselves. The "nazi-letters" you guys are talking about is actually part of the Norwegian alphabet and has nothing to do with Nazism or white-supremacy to do at all. The Norwegian alphabet has 29 letters, the three extra is æ,ø,å or in capital letters: Æ,Ø,Å.

We can't help it if some morons over in the US abuse these letters as symbol of their twisted mindset.

Yes, my name contains one of those letters. It is my name… and I didn't choose it. It is a common Norwegian name.

As for me being a Nazi?

Those who knows me knows that I am as far from a Nazi as one can get. I despise Nazism with all my heart.

But the reason some people choose to believe so… was that some guy who has no hobbies or life went through every single fave I've made on DeviantArt since I joined the site in 2006, which is well over 20000 faves. And he found a few Nazi-characters from a web series I was following about ten years ago. I am very interested in history and especially WW2-history, so I found that particular web-series interesting and faved some artwork related to it. What this guy failed to notice is that I also faved the Allied characters… That's ALL there is to that story.

I has also faved a pic someone made of Joseph Goebbels (I think it was?) as a Pixar Car. That's not because I have any nazi-sympathies, but I simply found the concept of turning historical persons, both good and bad, into Cars as an interesting project. I would have faved any other historical Carsified person as well.

As for me being a Norwegian and have a natural pale complexion, that's not something I can help. That's nothing I choose. And it doesn't make me racist or Nazi. Period.

11. Putting a white-supremacist flag (the actual flag of Norway) on my porch on family birthdays and our national day.

Again. Get educated.

This flag… is the actual flag of my country. The Kingdom of Norway.

There is nothing Nazi about it. It is not a symbol of white-supremacy. IT IS THE FLAG OF NORWAY.

During WW2 it was even illegal, so people would paint it everywhere in a protest against the Nazi-occpation and the SS. We even decorated our Christmas trees with it, and that is a tradition that has followed us into the modern day.

Again, if some idiots in the US choose to use it as a symbol for their disgusting logic, it is not Norway or the Norwegians' fault.

12. Being a danger to my daughter.

I need people to elaborate here.

What exactly do you think I do to my daughter? What is the cause of your concern here?

The fact that I have made NSFW content? How is that harmful to her as long as I keep it away from her? You DO realize that even authors, pornstars and moviemakers have children and that they can be good parents, right?

Do you think I read pornographic content for her as bedtime stories? Or show her porn instead of kids TV? How sick are you guys, really…?

Some people even wanted CPS to take my child away from me… Have a look at these screenshots…

You want a happy, healthy, innocent child to be taken away from a stable, safe home with loving parents just because you don't like the content the mother made? You want her to be placed in foster care, where there is no guarantee that she will have a happy upbringing rather than have her stay with her parents who love her and care for her, for reasons she'll never understand and wasn't even aware of?

"Think of the children!" a lot of you say when it comes to my content. May I ask why this doesn't apply to my daughter?

Why do some of you go as far as to wishing her dead or wanting her to be removed from the home she feels safe and loved in? How is that thinking of the children?

As for the douchebag in that screenshot. You claim that if your mother did something like that you would want nothing to do with her… I have a question: Do you know EVERYTHING your mother do? Does she include you in each aspect of her life? Even her sexual life? No?

How do you know she doesn't do thing you don't approve of when you're not around? She could be a rabid pornmag reader for all you know. But stuff like that is something adults hide from their kids. So, you wouldn't know, unless you go snooping around in her business.

Everyone is entitled to privacy. What I and my husband do when our kid is not around is our business, not hers, and certainly not yours.

Porn and parenting are to be kept separate from each other. Period.

And we do.

There is absolutely no reason to be worried about my daughter. She is a happy, healthy child in a safe, stable home with family that loves her and cares for her. Not just me and my husband, but also grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

If you want to remove her from that over a stupid fanfic behind a mature content wall, you're the deranged person, not me.

 This is all I have to say about all this and my time in the TTTE fandom. I have left by my own, free will. Yes, I am aware that many people don't want me there. That's fine. I don't want to be there.

I am a bit disappointed in those people who just blindly unfollowed me and unfriended me without any questions asked, just followed the leader. Big users tend to dictate who and what is worth following in that fandom. They will even protect real predators, but I'm not going to open that can of worms now. I'm done with the fandom.

Some of those people, I have been talking to regularly, even supported when they faced hardships in the fandom themselves. But when I got in trouble, they ditched me without a word…

If anything, this whole ordeal showed me who to trust and not, and who were true to their word when it came to how deep our friendship was. True friends at least give you the chance to explain before they drop you. I hold no ill feelings to those who did, at least they asked me before judging.

And those who still stayed with me, are the ones who truly know me and who I really am.

Some of the worst libels posted about me might be reported to the police, but I haven't made up my mind yet. I am not mentally strong at the moment, so I don't know if I have the strength to legally follow it all up. I will ask the cops at work for advice on the matter.

All I ask for now is some peace.

You don't have to like me. You don't have to follow me. You don't have to like my content. Feel free to invalidate me, I know a lot of you will.

But please, stop bullying me and my family.

Please stop sending me horrid messages and death threats.

Please stop doxxing me and calling me.

Please leave my family alone. If you don't care about me, at least care about them.

Please just ignore me. I have already left the fandom, there is no reason to keep hunting me.

I just want to move on and go on with my life and the content I am currently working on. After years in therapy, my life has gotten better, and I want to move on.

Please let me.

[ectolemonades]

Fic Writer Review

@floralflowerpower tagged me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Four!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

6,091

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Only Danny Phantom on ao3 at least, I will not reveal what past fandoms I have written fic for back in my deviantart days

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Okay considering I only have four fics I'm just gonna put them in order of kudos jwndflke

Local Barista Danny Fenton

Let's Make a Deal

What A Stupid Child

The singular prompt I managed to do for Going Angst Week

5. Which of your fic do you want more attention for?

Uhh tbh maybe Let's Make a Deal or the Going Angst Week prompt I did? LMaD was the first phic I ever wrote based on louroalka's demon au and honestly only want it to get more attention because that au is INCREDIBLE, the Going Angst Week one I'm just proud of how I wrote it even though it's really short haha

I'm really grateful for any attention my fics get tho! I know none of my fics are huge deals or anything, but I can't put into words how happy it makes me that so many people enjoyed my fic based on my Barista Danny AU!

6. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I always try to! I have a couple sitting in my inbox rn just because I'm super forgetful, but I want people to know that I'm acknowledging them and the fact that they decided to read/interact w my work means a lot to me

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Local Barista Danny Fenton because they were out of oat milk 😔✊🏼

8. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you’ve written?

I do! Back in the day The Bestie tumblr user Kateh @kirinda-ondo and I wrote some BONKERS and absolutely hilarious crossovers of stuff we were into, and we haven't really written anything lately (we kinda started plotting a rly interesting crossover tho) we have v silly conversations and crossover our favs

Not a fic tho but I did cross He-Man and DP in a doodle for Kateh's birthday yesterday because Orko and Danny would absolutely be besties and u can't change my mind

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not yet and pls be nice to me I am sensitive

10. Do you write smut? if so what kind?

I don't

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I haven't but anyone is more than welcome to!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Definitely back in the day w Kateh

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Me x Actually Allowing People To Read My Writing

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I started writing a lightly angsty ghost hunger fic at one point, I got writer's block right around when I was trying to wrap it up and edit it and tbh just haven't gotten back to it and idk if I will

I got bold w it and threw in Clockwork and Jazz and I think I gave myself anxiety on writing them in-character lmao

Love reading ghost hunger au just maybe not writing it idk

15. What are your writing strengths?

Active voice and I've been told I'm pretty good with "show, don't tell" and capturing emotions

Definitely active voice though, as a journalist that shit is drilled into my head and when I see passive voice an alarm sounds in my head even though I do not personally give that much of a shit

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Tenses, and the actually sharing it with people part gives me so much anxiety

In my creative writing class when I had to share my fiction piece (which I posted to my main blog if anyone wants to read!), I was messaging Kateh throughout my entire class/critique because I was so nervous I was on the verge of tears lmao

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it's fantastic when it adds to the character or is important in some way! I feel there should definitely be some sort of research done to be sure things are being used correctly as well

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I didn't realize this question was coming up I guess I'll reveal now it was Sonic the Hedgehog back in my dA days

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Probably Local Barista Danny Fenton, I love telling funny work stories and it seems to have made people who read it happy!

20. What fic are you most proud of?

I really can't pick a fav because I'm really really proud of all my fics!

--

Tagging @amabsis and @omegasmileyface but y'all don't have to do it if you don't want to!!

[nanbaka-confessions]

How did u get into the Nanbaka fandom? I love this blog btw~!

First off, thank you! 😃

Secondly, what an interesting question.

I originally saw some thumbnails of Nanbaka back when it first aired around October of 2016, but I didn’t watch it yet, and I was watching Yuri on Ice back then. Around early 2018, when I posted some drawings of my OCs on deviantArt, I saw a few drawings of Uno in the “More like this” section. I was like “Ooh, he’s cute. What anime are they from?” So I realized what anime they were from, I started to watch the Nanbaka anime, and I loved it!

It was around June 2018 when I drew a picture of Honey and Trois, along with Kiji and Uno, and posted it on my dA. Because of that, I got invited to a Discord chatroom, and I had fun in there. Eventually, I started making a Nanbaka fan character of my own, named Yakshi Gomuru. Since then, I found the English translated manga and started reading it, and I’ve made some more Nanbaka fan art since then, posting then on my dA, Animo, and sometimes Tumblr.

After I was a bit more immersed into Nanbaka on Tumblr, I realized the fandom didn’t have a confessions blog, like most of the other fandoms I was in at the time, so I brought it upon myself to make one.

This blog wouldn’t be still standing if it wasn’t for the active Nanbaka fandom. We may be a small group, but we are still thriving, and I thank you all for that!

[sylveradrake]

Pixel art commissions are open!

Active Slots:

[ ayealiskomori: four 200px dolls (sketched) ]

[ charlieltweets: one 150px doll (sketched) ]

[ cupiddissolvi: two 250 pixel dolls ]

[ Open ]

[ Open ]

Reserved Slots:

[ Open ]

[ Open ]

[ Open ]

[ Open ]

[ Open ]

Frequently Asked Questions (Please Read!):

    [ ? ] Are these all the options you have for commissions?     [ A ] These are primarily just examples of things I've done consistently in the past! If you have a more 'custom' idea, we can certainly discuss it! I've been doing pixel art for over four years, so I have some decent experience, but like every artist I have limits to my current abilities. You can see both my Tumblr and DeviantArt galleries for more examples, including the options for the line styles, animations, and shading!     [ ? ] What ARE all those options under the examples?     [ A ] Hard lines means the piece will have "hard", solid black lines between each "section" of the piece: the outline, and between all the different colors, etc. Lineless means that rather than having that solid black line, I use a slightly darker shade of each color to outline them, like the full body dragon! This gives it a softer, 'lineless' look.     Cell shading means that there's just one color used to shade, rather than a blend. The Kakashi doll on the far left has cell shading: just one color in a hard shape. Smooth shading means what it sounds like: a few colors are blended from dark to light to make the shadows smoother!     I do a few very basic animations for certain dolls or icons when requested. Typically this refers to a one-pixel "bob", and a blink cycle. I can also have a doll open its mouth and bring up a small speech bubble if you'd like them to say something! Please bear in mind that animation takes additional time and effort, and though not required, additional support is appreciated for animated pieces!     [ ? ] Why are there things you refuse to draw?     [ A ] For the most part, it's simply a matter of preference. For others, it's a matter of ability. Some things are just a bit too complex for me to feel I can pull it off in a fashion consistent with the rest of my work, and therefore being worth your money! Hence a limit on complex poses and the number of characters per shot, or complex designs, like mecha. Other things like the ship limitations are just personal preferences that make me uncomfortable. The NSFW ban is mostly due to most hosting sites not liking to host mature artwork...and also a matter of both my ability, and personal preference.     [ ? ] What constitutes NSFW?     [ A ] For me, this includes any nudity that shows genitals - nipples and / or breasts are fine. This also includes anything sexual, including any and all fetishes, even if genitals are not shown. I also do not do heavy gore. I may expand this umbrella term if anything not already covered comes up!     [ ? ] I can't afford a commission, but I'd like to help! What can I do?     [ A ] You can share this comm sheet and / or my art with your friends! Getting the word out might mean finding someone able and willing to order a comm, which of course is a big help!     [ ? ] Do you do requests?     [ A ] Unfortunately, not at the moment. If you'd like me to draw something for you and the comms are open, you're more than welcome to order something! While I do do personal art for myself and for friends, I can't make free art for everyone. In the future I may do something akin to raffles, but for now, we're starting with the commissions!     [ ? ] Can I donate without ordering a commission?     [ A ] You most certainly can, and it's very much appreciated, and would be a huge help! Of course it is NOT an expectation: no one has to donate if they can't or don't want to. But if you just want to throw some general support in to help me keep creating, you're more than welcome, and I'd appreciate it tremendously     [ ? ] Do you accept DeviantArt points?     [ A ] I do not. To put it bluntly, DA points can't pay my bills. I have nothing I need that DA points can buy, so I only work with money. Sorry!     [ ? ] Do you do anything like art trades?     [ A ] For the moment, no - but I might in the future! I'm open to the possibility, but for now (and for this post's purpose), I'm working on commissions! If I ever open up art trades, I'll be sure to make another about it!     [ ? ] How is best to contact you?     [ A ] Any of the above listed social media! Here on DA, please send a note with a subject line about commissions. On Tumblr, you can send an ask (off anon) which I will reply to privately. You can also send an IM! Email also works: just include commissions in the subject line. I do my best to check all of these sites a few times a day, but there may be times where I'm limited. I'll try to post ahead of time so you know why I'm not responding promptly! Otherwise, it could take me about a day to get back to you. Please be patient! I have other responsibilities. I may also take hiatuses if I feel the need. If I go more than a few days without responding and haven't given any warning, there's probably something keeping me from my messages, and I'll do my best to get back to you as soon as I'm able!     [ ? ] What's your policy on refunds?     [ A ] So long as I haven't finished flat coloring your piece, you can get a full refund, of course! But once the piece is lined AND colored, I've put in a good bit of work, so I'm afraid I won't be able to refund you. As stated on the sheet, you can ask for an update on the piece any time! And I will send you the cleaned sketch once it's finished to see if there's anything you'd like changed. Though please bear in mind some things can differ between sketching and lining, especially when shrinking down to pixel. A sketch is a general outline, not the full product!     [ ? ] Are there any other circumstances where you might refuse a commission?     [ A ] Honestly it depends. I hope not to encounter any other reasons beyond my general rules, but I DO retain the right to say no to any commission for any reason, which I don't have to disclose. If I do say no, please respect that decision. It's never anything personal.     [ ? ] Where does the art go once it's finished?     [ A ] Any commissioned art, by default, will be posted to my DeviantArt, my Tumblr, and on Ko-fi! I'll also send you a copy / link through whatever means you contacted me with. If you'd like your art to be private, you need only ask. I will then only send YOU the art, and it will NOT be posted anywhere else. I can also post the art anonymously if you’d like it posted, but your name not attached to it.     [ ? ] How can I use my commission(s)?     [ A ] Any way you like UNLESS it's commercial - in other words, if you make any money using the artwork. Please also do not trade or sell the artwork. Otherwise, feel free to use it for any personal use you'd like! You can also repost the art so long as you provide a link to my original post. If your comm wasn't publicly posted, a link back to any of my social media will suffice! Just always be sure to use proper credit so people know where the art came from! That way they can find my pages, and maybe get a commission of their own!     [ ? ] Do you do fanart?     [ A ] I do! My commissions are all one-off, unique jobs, and I'm hardly about to impact any IP markets. So long as it's a large fandom (no Disney, though - that's one I won't touch), and my art wouldn't greatly impact the profits and livelihood of other creators, I can do fanart. But I DO prefer to do original art! It's great to work with new designs, and help give original characters more art for them! Gimme OCs to draw!     [ ? ] Can you design a character for me, like a custom adoptable?     [ A ] I can! Just bear in mind that I'll need as many details as possible to make something that fits your vision! I'll also need to work with you more than typical to be sure we get it as accurate as possible, so be prepared for a lot of communication until we get it looking as you want!     [ ? ] Can you do gifts - in other words, can I order art for another person?     [ A ] I do, and you certainly can! Just be sure to let me know who the gift is for, so I can tag them! If they don't have any of the social media I use, you can just give me a name or screen name to post with it. A gift will just cost you the same as any art you'd order for yourself! Also please do be sure you have permission to commission art of characters owned by another person!     [ ? ] What do you mean by 'item'?     [ A ] Each individual pixel piece! One lone pixel doll of 150 pixels would be four dollars! But if you want two dolls interacting, it's four dollars EACH. So eight dollars. That's because I still have to sketch, ink, color, shade, and possibly animate EACH doll! Twice the effort means twice the price.

[dotzines]

Artist spotlight: Lunarin-Arts!

✿ Commissions ✿ Instagram ✿ DeviantArt ✿ Twitter ✿ Tumblr

Header source: [X]  

Introduce yourself I am Lonneke! But online I prefer going by the name Rumii. I am currently 20 years old and I live in the Netherlands. In my spare time I like drawing (of course), Cosplaying and Gaming. I used to be really into anime, And I still have favourites like Kamisama hajimemashita, Black butler and hetalia. But right now I am more of an artist/ gamer. In which I play alot of Overwatch, which would be my main fandom. and Story rich games like NieR; Automata. I love meeting new people, and especially other artists. Even though I tend to be a bit shy at first //especially in large groups Nonetheless I hope we can get along!! And Im very excited to try out zines. as I have never done them before. When did you start drawing? Are you a digital or traditional artist? I started drawing in last grade of primary school, so around the age of 11/12. I primarily started out traditionally, but quickly picked up on digital art. Mainly using MS Paint when I just started out. Next thing I know I had a drawing tablet and extensively used Paint tool SAI. So I would say I am a digital artist. Though I do traditional as well, but I don't upload traditional art as much.  Do you use any traditional mediums? If so, which are your favorites? I have! for traditional work I just use whatever pencils I have around for sketching. Micron fineliners for Linearting. I don't color my works often, but have started getting some copic markers, pro markers and twin markers to try out. I like using the copic markers alot, they are very expensive.. but I can just feel how much better the quality is compared to my other markers.

image source: [X]   Why do you prefer traditional over digital? (or viceversa) I highly prefer digital, mainly because it's way more easy to manipulate your works, edit any smaller mistakes without having to draw them over again. and from lineart on, nothing you do is permanent. Plus I can use way more colors than I can on traditional mediums right now. What do you think is the most challenging part about being a traditional/digital artist? I think the biggest challenges for me were getting accustomed to my drawing tablet. I mean it really takes some time to get used to the pressure, and it really feels different than draiwng directly on paper. and after that getting familiar with the drawing programs. I just switched programs again and I am still figuring out all the tools. So even though I think digital mediums make things alot more easy, it takes a long time to get everything out of it. even years later you can discover a function you never knew of. which will elevate your art even more. What inspires your pieces? I take inspiration from various places, I like doing challenges, or just fanart. but also alot from music. it can get me into a certain mood or I can just see a piece that fits with the music. and then try sketching it out while listening to this song. I also like looking around for special things like 'mermay' for example. Look at the themes and just try to imagine what kind of piece I can do with that.

image source: [X]   Explain your "everyday" drawing process I kinda take I gotta explain how I get through an artwork? well, first of course I try to find my inspiration. Or I already have a vague idea of what I want to do. And I make a super super rough sketch. then I go over it and add slightly more details. My sketches are still usually very messy. but I love that when I lineart I can make everything pretty and detailed. and it looks better compared to the sketch. Which is obviously my next step. After that I lay down base coloring in seperate layers. Always starting with skincolor > Haircolor > eyes > bigger parts of clothes > smaller parts of clothes > details If I have background I try to go with the biggest parts like the sky or ground or whatever first. and move up from bigger to smaller things pretty much. I work very organized so I always have my layers in different maps. Usually one for each character, and for the entire BG. sometimes also different ones for different parts of the background. so it's easy to find back if I have to fix something in a certain part of my artwork. Besides this I also sometimes do more painted works, I have only done those in portraits so far. But in those I made the sketch > put colors below it > merge layers > start the shading part by part on top of it. usually working back to front on which colors overlap eachother Do you have an artist you admire (or more than one)?

I have a few people I know that inspire me, like Chance-To-Draw on DA ( https://www.deviantart.com/chance-to-draw ) And my best friend of mine who doesn't really upload her works anywhere anymore ;;-;; So I can only admire her through our discord server >< I also love Lord_Gris (https://www.instagram.com/lord_gris/) alot! And Rosuuri (https://www.instagram.com/rosuuriart/) ofc those are a few well-known artists. I follow alot more people with amazing art but gosh I can't possibly list all of them here >< I just like seeing a variety of different art styles and OC's Is there an artwork you are most proud of? Why? Right now I'd say this one; http://fav.me/dd4acw5 I just..love how the coloring turned out. this was a really hard painted piece to do aaa >< especially her hair. But Im just so happy with it! I really feel like I have been improving my coloring again lately and I can't get enough of it jgkdhf

Do you listen to music (or tv shows/films/anything else) when drawing? YEees, I listen to vocaloid covers alot, actually. also covers from other things. just..alot of covers. or original fanbase songs ahah A few examples here; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwMZhdyZHVI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNoy_b_JYU0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPMhkIiapIA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPw-0vctJJQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Tr014nQ4pk

image source: [X]   What makes art interesting for you? For me it started alot as a way to vent my emotions. It calms me down to draw when I am sad, angry or happy even. I love being able to look back and see the improvement. and know that in 2 years I will once again look back at the stuff I am currently very proud of. and know I can already do so much better than that! This is really what keeps it interesting to me, I think. What do you do when art block strikes? //Cry// Jk, To be honest. I either try to break through and search for any inspiration. Or I just call it a day and go game or listen to music. In the last 1.5/2 years I have had a massive art block. I was dissapointed in my own art. didn't know what to draw anymore. and didn't see the point of continuing. Just recently I found a new art program. which in this case helped me get out of this huge slump. and I'm ready to be a bit more active. and get into new projects and broaden my horizon's in general What’s the most valuable art advice you’ve ever received?

Well, I haven't asked for alot of advice before. but a while ago I sortof got the advice to use references more often. After which I feel alot less afraid to do so. and feel like my works are getting alot better. and I find it easier to start on things after searching for pose or background refs

[penpursuiits]

6-8

SALT.@ghcsthuntin​

6. Your view on Mary/Gary sues?

       NOBODY MAKES GOOD OCS WHEN THEY’RE FIRST STARTING OUT. And yeah, if you put labels on some of the most popular male characters in media they would be Mary Sues. But to be honest, I’m not really apart of the ‘Let’s Support Mary Sues’ Bandwagon! Do you know why? Because in my time, I’ve seen the most uppity, most condescending, and most selfish people write characters who fit the title to a T.       Not e v e r y b o d y is like this, ofc. But let’s get real. We got a lot of assholes on the internet. The RPC, at large, is a mess in itself. In my experience, roleplaying with a Mary Sue & Gary Sue (Yes! I’ve seen the male counterpart in action!) ties in with Godmodding. Arguments that, ‘ok but my character WOULD do this so my character WOULD excel in this situation against yours. Therefore your character? They’re fuckin’ dead man.’      I’m a strong believer in balancing your characters out. Let them lose arguments. Let them be overpowered. Show us a time where they didn’t come out victorious. Don’t let them get the love of their life! Needless to say, I do feel like people can easily mistake one’s unique creativity as a Mary Sue in disguise.     In example; if you’re writing a Supernatural / Sci-Fi Book or something so your character is stronger or perhaps even wiser than most humans: I believe characters like these are not Mary-Sues. They’ve more than likely been developed hard and have established rules for their universe.     I guess through and through Mary-Sue, to me, means a Fandom OC created by a egotistical minor who can’t take the word ‘no’ in regards to anything.

8. Has anyone hurt/betrayed you?

     YEAH! Which is just a unfortunate part of life, whether it be online or in real life. One of the worse things I’ve been through was back when I was a minor. I would make accounts for dA and Fanfiction. Because, nobody had to knooooww I was a kid. Eventually I came out to people like, ‘yeah I’m only 12.’ I became really close friends with this one guy who was way older than me. But for a long time, he played nice and sweet like: ‘think of me as your big brother! I will always support you!’        But then he grew legit feelings for me. And became possessive of me. And would tell me which fictional characters I should not have feelings for. And worst of all!! To get into the spaces I was in in regards to DeviantART clubs: he made all these fake accounts to talk to me and my friends. I knew it was him but, I was too spineless to actively do something other than make a new dA account.      Basically this dude was a predator and I’m happy I was never a gullible child who talked to him on the phone, on skype, or met in real life.  

[acetechne]

I'm confused on how many ocs are there. Can I join this? Is there a St John's?

ok [cracks knuckles but unsuccessfully and just does an awkward hand stretch instead] here’s a crash course in What Is This Thing I Do

SHORT ANSWER: there are some ocs but while i basically know everyone in our lil group i dont take an official census of how many or who’s active etc. Re: joining, sure why not? and no there is not yet a St Johns and we’re kind of lacking in the east coast in general I’m afraid. We’re a loose unofficial conglomeration of people who met through a common hetalia project or two and so some of us make ocs - there’s kind of an unspoken rule that if an oc for a place already exists and the person is still active its polite to not do duplicates, but its not a hard/fast rule. It’s no fun to play favourites and start drama you know?

LONG ANSWER which is probably gonna get long so I’ll explain below the cut.

ONCE UPON A TIME i dunno if you guys all would remember this but ONCE UPON A TIME in 2008-9 the (English) Hetalia fandom was young and we were all really excited about this Thing that was pretty limited as far as I’m aware to Livejournal, which is how I found 

The I Am Matthewian Project (2009-2011 ish?)

you may have seen us around youtube or deviantart- basically its a hetalia fan project about Canada and his 13 provinces and territories (created by ctcsherry) and we did voice acting and stuff- I was the VA for Yukon and the most recent VA for Alberta and I did a lot of art for the project that i can no longer look at without cringing because HAHA what is anatomy. The project is currently on hiatus indefinitely and a lot of us have drifted our separate ways so I try to keep tabs on everyone where I can but I’m also Kinda Shy and don’t like prying or tracking people down all the time. Would I change some things about how the project was done or some of the dumb kid things I said or did or whatever? Yes. Do I regret the fun times, the art improvement, and the friends I made? Not on yer life bud.

Anyway the cities started as a roleplay thing and it’s kind of surprising since I’m really not a good roleplayer and I really don’t enjoy rping that my ocs, out of all of them that were made on those old boards, survived the longest. They’re nearly ten years old, man! But yeah, as far as I’m aware Ed and Cal are the only surviving OCs I created back in those early days- you can still see some of the old designs floating around dA but they were never really fleshed out and more just created as a little roleplay game between us that wasn’t really meant to go anywhere (although a couple of us, myself included, did sneak OCs into finished IAMP episodes).

Project Canada (2013-?)

So apparently people actually enjoyed and missed our lil videos so the project got rebooted. New admins, new fans, a couple of veterans from IAMP, that sort of thing. Same province and territory characters, new direction. Or… lack of direction idk xD; I loved being an admin for the project but we never really got off the ground because I think we rushed a little too fast and I ended up leaving my post for a variety of reasons. I’m making a go of it on my own now which is why I don’t speak for everyone who posts in the projectcanada cities tag (but lets be honest 90% of that tag is Me haha, I’m the annoyance that made the tag necessary in the first place)

The projectcanada cities tag is generally people who are or were members of this little group- we’re by no means an exclusive club and not all ocs were created /out/ of the project, I’m sure some people like me saw the opportunity to bring back some old ocs and revitalize them with a new audience and new people to brainstorm with- these might have been roleplay ocs or ocs doodled for fun or ocs that came together out of the fear that - like in the IAMP - we’d create ocs for the fun of it off stereotypes rather than putting a huge whack of thought into it, haha. (I admit though, for our own storytelling purposes quatsch and i got together to make a halifax oc thats not necessarily ‘canonical’ in the sense that we’re two angry albertans who haven’t ever been that far east, so if anyone would like to breathe some life into the design we’re happy to collaborate etc etc)

So yeah we’re not exclusive but we’re not organized either, which is why I’m hesitant to speak for everyone. I’m generally the most active so people generally come to me with questions and I can point them in the right direction, but I don’t really have any intention of making anything ~official~ looking of who’s around and who’s not because that would be a whole other boatload of work that I don’t wanna do and also I’m personally ok with interacting with whoever (so long as you don’t expect me to seriously roleplay because thats Not what I do and I’m no fun). And I mean if you’re interested in the project itself as far as I know there’s still room for more members, but idk when if ever anything is going to happen at this point.

My Personal Feels

Honestly since my ocs transcend both iamp and pc and are probably going to outlast both of them at this rate, it’s kind of weird that i haven’t gone back to tagging them as ‘aph’ rather than pc but eh i like my little spin-off-of-a-spin-off nook in the hetalia fandom. But yeah I’m not going to police the tag, aside from saying things could get Messy with duplicates both using the pc tag. So for example say you got a winnipeg oc that’s not affiliated with our lil group- thats a-ok! cool, if I like them enough i’d be willing to use them in my own stuff if i dont have a pc character for it if you’re ok with it and dont mind them interacting with this “universe”. I’d still probably tag your oc as ‘aph winnipeg’ or something if you dont have a specific tag for them. There’s not really an ‘expiry date’ on ocs or how long their creators have been away, but after about 5 years and a project reboot i tend to feel pretty Weird about using ocs when their ‘parents’ arent around to supervise, you know? but again that’s a personal hang up of mine. Another personal hang up of mine is I really am mostly interested in ocs created by people living in that place or really into researching it or who have good inside jokes because that’s the reason I really love this fandom, but hell it’s not a requirement (sweeps my multitude of alberta ocs under the rug because I haven’t been to most of them lol)

so yeah thats the long and the short of it, feel free to ask any more questions and I’ll do my best to answer. I don’t mean to brag when I say I’m probably the person to ask about these things, I just mean I’m nosy and I haunt this little corner like a plague so I’m more or less in touch with everyone in it. :) haha

[sylveradrake]

Pay What You Want commissions are open! Active Slots: 1. [ Open ] 2. [ Open ] 3. [ Open ] 4. [ Open ] 5. [ Open ] Reserved Slots: 1. [ Open ] 2. [ Open ] 3. [ Open ] 4. [ Open ] 5. [ Open ] Frequently Asked Questions (Please Read!):

     [ ? ] What does pay what you want mean?      [ A ] Pay what you want (pwyw) means that, beyond a minimum, you can pay whatever you want for the commission! The minimums are listed on the sheet, and anything above that isn't necessary, but greatly appreciated! If an item says 1+ kofi, you must pay at least one kofi, but you can add more if you're feeling generous!      [ ? ] What is a kofi?      [ A ] Ko-fi is a website that allows you to support your favorite creators, a bit like a way to tip them by "buying them a coffee"! A 'kofi', as I call them, is each unit of support you give an artist ($3US). There is of course a small chunk taken from each kofi, so the artist doesn't get the full $3 (just something to bear in mind). You can give as many kofis at once as you'd like, hence these commissions being pwyw so you can give whatever you feel like giving!      [ ? ] Are these all the options you have for commissions?      [ A ] These are primarily just examples of things I've done consistently in the past! If you have a more 'custom' idea, we can certainly discuss it! I've been doing pixel art for about 3.5 years, so I have some decent experience, but like every artist I have limits to my current abilities. You can see both my Tumblr and DeviantArt galleries for more examples, including the options for the line styles, animations, and shading!      [ ? ] What ARE all those options under the examples?      [ A ] Hard lines means the piece will have "hard", solid black lines between each "section" of the piece: the outline, and between all the different colors, etc. Lineless means that rather than having that solid black line, I use a slightly darker shade of each color to outline them, like the fullbody dragon! This gives it a softer, 'lineless' look.      Cell shading means that there's just one color used to shade, rather than a blend. The Kakashi doll on the far left has cell shading: just one color in a hard shape. Smooth shading means what it sounds like: a few colors are blended from dark to light to make the shadows smoother!      I do a few very basic animations for certain dolls or icons when requested. Typically this refers to a one-pixel "bob", and a blink cycle. I can also have a doll open its mouth and bring up a small speech bubble if you'd like them to say something! Please bear in mind that animation takes additional time and effort, and though not required, additional support is appreciated for animated pieces!      [ ? ] Why are there things you refuse to draw?      [ A ] For the most part, it's simply a matter of preference. For others, it's a matter of ability. Some things are just a bit too complex for me to feel I can pull it off in a fashion consistent with the rest of my work, and therefore being worth your money! Hence a limit on complex poses and the number of characters per shot, or complex designs, like mecha. Other things like the ship limitations are just personal preferences that make me uncomfortable. The NSFW ban is mostly due to most hosting sites not liking to host mature artwork...and also a matter of both my ability, and personal preference.      [ ? ] What constitutes NSFW?      [ A ] For me, this includes any nudity that shows genitals - nipples and / or breasts are fine. This also includes anything sexual, including any and all fetishes, even if genitals are not shown. I also do not do heavy gore. I may expand this umbrella term if anything not already covered comes up!      [ ? ] I can't afford a commission, but I'd like to help! What can I do?      [ A ] You can share this comm sheet and / or my art with your friends! Getting the word out might mean finding someone able and willing to order a comm, which of course is a big help!      [ ? ] Do you do requests?      [ A ] Unfortunately, not at the moment. If you'd like me to draw something for you and the comms are open, you're more than welcome to order something! While I do do personal art for myself and for friends, I can't make free art for everyone. In the future I may do something akin to raffles, but for now, we're starting with the commissions!      [ ? ] Can I donate without ordering a commission?      [ A ] You most certainly can, and it's very much appreciated, and would be a huge help! Of course it is NOT an expectation: no one has to donate if they can't or don't want to. But if you just want to throw some general support in to help me keep creating, you're more than welcome, and I'd appreciate it tremendously :heart:      [ ? ] Do you accept DeviantArt points?      [ A ] I do not. To put it bluntly, DA points can't pay my bills. I have nothing I need that DA points can buy, so I only work with money. Sorry!      [ ? ] Do you do anything like art trades?      [ A ] For the moment, no - but I might in the future! I'm open to the possibility, but for now (and for this post's purpose), I'm working on commissions! If I ever open up art trades, I'll be sure to make another about it!      [ ? ] How is best to contact you?      [ A ] Any of the above listed social media! On DA, please send a note with a subject line about pwyw commissions. On Tumblr, you can send an ask (off anon) which I will reply to privately. You can also send an IM! Email also works: just include the pwyw commissions in the subject line. I do my best to check all of these sites a few times a day, but there may be times where I'm limited. I'll try to post ahead of time so you know why I'm not responding promptly! Otherwise, it could take me about a day to get back to you. Please be patient! I have other responsibilities. I may also take hiatuses if I feel the need. If I go more than a few days without responding and haven't given any warning, there's probably something keeping me from my messages, and I'll do my best to get back to you as soon as I'm able!      [ ? ] What's your policy on refunds?      [ A ] So long as I haven't finished flat coloring your piece, you can get a full refund, of course! But once the piece is lined AND colored, I've put in a good bit of work, so I'm afraid I won't be able to refund you. As stated on the sheet, you can ask for an update on the piece any time! And I will send you the cleaned sketch once it's finished to see if there's anything you'd like changed. Though please bear in mind some things can differ between sketching and lining, especially when shrinking down to pixel. A sketch is a general outline, not the full product!      [ ? ] Are there any other circumstances where you might refuse a commission?      [ A ] Honestly it depends. I hope not to encounter any other reasons beyond my general rules, but I DO retain the right to say no to any commission for any reason, which I don't have to disclose. If I do say no, please respect that decision. It's never anything personal.      [ ? ] Where does the art go once it's finished?      [ A ] Any commissioned art, by default, will be posted to my DeviantArt, my Tumblr, and on Ko-fi! I'll also send you a copy / link through whatever means you contacted me with. If you'd like your art to be private, you need only ask. I will then only send YOU the art, and it will NOT be posted anywhere else. I can also post the art anonymously if you’d like it posted, but your name not attached to it.      [ ? ] How can I use my commission(s)?      [ A ] Any way you like UNLESS it's commercial - in other words, if you make any money using the artwork. Please also do not trade or sell the artwork. Otherwise, feel free to use it for any personal use you'd like! You can also repost the art so long as you provide a link to my original post. If your comm wasn't publicly posted, a link back to any of my social media will suffice! Just always be sure to use proper credit so people know where the art came from! That way they can find my pages, and maybe get a commission of their own!      [ ? ] Do you do fanart?      [ A ] I do! My commissions are all one-off, unique jobs, and I'm hardly about to impact any IP markets. So long as it's a large fandom (no Disney, though - that's one I won't touch), and my art wouldn't greatly impact the profits and livelihood of other creators, I can do fanart. But I DO prefer to do original art! It's great to work with new designs, and help give original characters more art for them! Gimme OCs to draw!      [ ? ] Can you design a character for me, like a custom adoptable?      [ A ] I can! Just bear in mind that I'll need as many details as possible to make something that fits your vision! I'll also need to work with you more than typical to be sure we get it as accurate as possible, so be prepared for a lot of communication until we get it looking as you want!      [ ? ] Can you do gifts - in other words, can I order art for another person?      [ A ] I do, and you certainly can! Just be sure to let me know who the gift is for, so I can tag them! If they don't have any of the social media I use, you can just give me a name or screen name to post with it. A gift will just cost you the same as any art you'd order for yourself! Also please do be sure you have permission to commission art of characters owned by another person!      [ ? ] What do you mean by 'item'?      [ A ] Each individual pixel piece! One lone pixel doll of 150 pixels would be a minimum of two kofis! But if you want two dolls interacting, it's two kofis minimum EACH. So at least four kofis. That's because I still have to sketch, ink, color, shade, and possibly animate EACH doll! Twice the effort means twice the price.