#my money is on Stede but we shall see

[edsbacktattoo]

ultimate question!

[izzy-b-hands]

Steddyhands and dress up time for Izzy!

Cool canes!

Horny Bow-Tying!

What more could you ask for?

Maybe Frenchie and Olu accidentally planning to start the essential oils trend early to part dumb rich people from their money? Why not!

---

"Your turn!"

Izzy stared at the outfit Stede had laid out. "Huh."

Stede's smile faltered for a moment. "I know, it isn't all leather, but! We kept it all black, and check out the buttons and the rest of the detailing!"

In the early days, he would have stomped out angry and embarrassed, sure that Stede was mocking him. Now, this was one of his boyfriends, who had clearly gone to a lot of work to try and make him happy.

"Everything else you could make leather is, isn't it?" Izzy chuckled, running a hand over the buttons of the waistcoat, set perfectly under the black velvet jacket. They were made of a fine, new leather. He'd never had anything new like that before (taking a leather vest off of a corpse didn't count as new, per Stede, and he wasn't wrong.)

"You'll go to the party with us?"

Izzy looked over to Stede, who now had an excited Ed wrapped around him, head resting on one of Stede's shoulders.

"Is it going to end in arson?"

Stede blushed. "I can't say for sure, but I sort of hope so."

Izzy nodded. "And... you'll want to put bows-"

"Nope," Ed cut him off. "Bows are my thing."

"Oh thank fuck," Izzy sighed.

"No, for you, I have this," Stede handed over a length of black ribbon. "Your hair is long enough to tie back anyway, and I think that's more you. Simple, clean, and also we checked it on Ed, and if we do it right we can hide a small dagger in your ponytail. If you'd like, of course."

Izzy turned the ribbon over in his hands. The backing of it was leather, sewn together, with a small notch in it about the size of the bottom of the handle of a small dagger.

"Is there anything you didn't think of?" he teased.

Stede frowned. "Actually, we can't decide on shoes for you. Something like mine would match, but with your foot-"

Ed winced, and Izzy waved him away.

"Water under the bridge, Edward."

"Because you liked it a little," Stede snickered.

"Maybe you could watch Izzy do the same to someone at the party," Ed murmured into Stede's ear.

Izzy nodded. "I think I'd like you to watch."

Stede smirked. "I'd like that, but towards the end. Before we light everything up, because we might need a break from the mayhem after that. Find an empty room, all three of us..."

Ed pressed a kiss to Stede's neck. "Now that we didn't get to do at the last one. We've been missing out."

"We really have," Stede said. "That's settled then?"

Izzy was being a little shit on purpose, and he knew it, but he liked seeing Stede even more hot and bothered. He stripped off his clothes and worked on the ridiculously fancy and tight satin trousers (no worse than leather, but not better either.) The black, soft and thin shirt with ornate lace at the wrists was easier, and he let Stede and Ed help with the rest, enjoying the kisses and little touches that came with it.

"Shall we?" Stede purred. "Frenchie and Olu are dressed and ready too."

Izzy smiled. "I still don't have shoes."

"Shit, forgot about that," Stede muttered, instinctively looking to Izzy's feet while Ed giggled. "Well...hm. Wait, hang on!"

He went trawling into a trunk, and pulled out a pair of black velvet shoes. "Never could pull these off myself. Mary told me time and time again, they just aren't my style. They're gorgeous, but she's right."

Ed watched Izzy work them on. "But his foot-"

Stede pulled out a cane, and tossed it to Ed. "Forgot I had that until now. Buttons found it stabbed in a man's chest or something and he thought I'd like it. Which I do! But I haven't had the need for it, and since Izzy does..."

Ed passed the cane to Izzy. It was. Something.

Very ornate, a large black gem of some kind at the top. It was polished and ground down to fit somewhat naturally in the hand, but still shone in the light. Down the length of the cane were more stones, and the bottom-

"No fucking way," Izzy grinned, pressing on the top stone. A sharp blade jutted out from the bottom, pushing his hand up and digging into the floor. "Tell Buttons congratulations on the good find."

"I will," Stede beamed. "And that is yours to keep, by the way. For any future parties, or whenever you want to use it instead of your usual one, for that matter."

"I don't think I've ever been this excited to eventually stab someone," Izzy mused, pressing the stone again to retract the blade.

"You're always excited to stab someone," Ed scoffed.

"Yeah, but I've never gotten to stab someone with something like this!"

Stede was glowing with excitement. "I should have Lucius sketch the two of you before we leave. You look beautiful."

Izzy had to admit he was right. Ed in his purple finery, the only thing left to do but to tie the bows in his newly grown, shorter but just long enough beard. And after a peek in one of Stede's mirrors, he could admit he didn't hate this version of dressing up. He could never be comfortable in something Stede might wear, nor did he think he could pull off anything like a peach waistcoat or a sea blue jacket. But this...this was lovely.

Stede pointed to his desk. "Small daggers are the first drawer to the left. If those are too small try the drawer below, that's the small to medium set."

"When on earth did you collect all these?" Ed asked, rifling through the drawer with Izzy. "So many..."

"I've been asking the crew to give me any they don't want to keep for awhile now," Stede said. "Just feels good to have a nice, organized, back up supply, you know?"

"You know, had you shown me this at the start, I probably would have liked you better from the get go," Izzy said. "Well. A little bit, at least."

"I don't think I had enough accumulated to impress you then," Stede said. "Here, give me that one, the jeweled one. No, the other jeweled one. No-bother so many of them have those, wait! That one, yes!"

Izzy handed over a dagger, big enough to maybe take out a man's eye or at the very least cause him to bleed out extremely slowly. Pearl was inlaid in the handle.

"Contrast," Stede said happily as he slipped the dagger into place in Izzy's ponytail, held by the ribbon/leather tie. "Now, for Ed. If you sit and let us both work on it, we'll be done quickly..."

"Right, right," Ed nodded, and settled onto the couch. "Izzy, come here. I think I know how you wanted to put them in last time, but didn't get to..."

Izzy climbed onto Ed's lap, taking bows from Stede who stood just behind him, kissing at his neck as he handed off each bow.

--

"They didn't forget we're going, right?" Frenchie sighed. "They even started getting dressed early!"

"We'll still be like two hours early to this thing," Olu said. "They'll be out in time. Probably."

Frenchie nodded. "More time to work on the latest idea then. So, Roach gave me those bottles he made up to look like fancy essential oils-"

"It's just perfume and water right?"

Frenchie nodded. "We have a ton though. So I'm thinking we make up something about how these cure any ailment..."

Olu grinned. "This is gonna be fun."

"If we leave on time, yeah," Frenchie said. "They're not...no. They'd save that for after."

Olu frowned, and looked towards the door of the Captains' quarters. "Hm. We might not leave right on time after all. I mean, we'll still be early if they don't take long."

Frenchie gave him a look as certain sounds came from the nearby quarters.

"Okay, yeah, we definitely aren't going to be early anymore."

[quillyfied]

Okay it is no longer 2am and I want to have another crack at interacting with the actual idea presented in this post, apologies for reblurging twice, my friend, I’m just a messy wench today I guess :P

ANYWAY: let’s dig into this idea that Stede sees himself as a monster but not Blackbeard, shall we?

So, to start: Stede isn’t afraid of Ed. Or any pirates, really, unless they’re actively brandishing a weapon at him. He’s reinvented himself as one of them, why would he be afraid amongst peers? He’s a little star-struck by Blackbeard, because who wouldn’t be, but overall he is friendly and open to practically everyone he meets, INCLUDING Spanish naval officers and soldiers. He brings tapas! To negotiate with the Spanish navy!! This man has zero fear! (So it appears to everyone around him, anyway, though this less charitably can also be worded as “this man has no brains!”)

Who is he actually afraid of? Nigel Badminton. Chauncey Badminton. Navy officers, yes, but as Chauncey sneers, Stede is from their world—upper crust, genteel, educated, monied, land-owning, and above all, a different “breed” altogether from most pirates. We learn almost immediately that Stede isn’t like most other pirates by choice. We learn very soon after that he also isn’t like other noblemen, and not by choice. The Badmintons and their ilk tormented him as a child, his father shouted abuse, his wife tolerated him with pronounced long-sufferance. He wasn’t leaping at the chance to go to the fancy French boat party and eventually ditched in favor of Frenchie’s company. He likes the trappings of his status, but not the expectations or the people, neither of which have ever been very kind to him. His nightmares are about his failures in high society, his abandonment of his family, his shortcomings to his father, his accidental murder of Badminton.

What is a monster to Stede Bonnet? Ed isn’t. Ed is exactly what Stede sees in all of his crew: a sweetheart deep down, dealing with a fair amount of trauma. But Stede is, according to both Chauncey Badminton and Stede himself: he’s a plague, a ruiner of beautiful things, destroyer of all he touches, and sole survivor of all his own messes. Letting other people suffer while he sails along, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake, and he doesn’t have a blot on him. He’s not a pirate, he’s an idiot! Why does this make him a monster? Why is Stede so affected by this? Why is Stede a monster but Ed isn’t, despite Ed actively hurting more people in his life?

Because Ed didn’t choose it; he had to do it to survive. Stede did choose it. And Stede hurts people not to survive, but because he wants to. He WANTS to keep playing pirate, he WANTS to be a nice kind pirate that goes against the pirate image and puts them all in danger. He’s God’s perfect little rich boy, after all; all of this is just a game to him. He can go back home to his wife and his children and his estate and his money whenever he wants. He could have stopped at any time, but he kept playing the game, dragging everyone but especially Ed down with him, because consequences are for other people, aren’t they, Stede Bonnet?

What do you call a being that causes so much destruction and chaos with his mere existence, who can kill and ruin men without lifting a finger, BY not lifting a finger, other than a monster?

Ed is a monster of destruction. Stede is a monster of consumption. Things that are destroyed can sometimes be rebuilt or repurposed. Things that are consumed…they’re gone.

I find it interesting how even after Ed admitted he was going to kill Stede, Stede didn’t consider him a “monster” like Ed feels he is.

But feels like Badminton’s declaration that weak, lily-livered, soft, rich boy Stede is a monster that ruins everything he touches was the absolute god awful truth.

Idk I just think his perception of monsters is fascinating