#my moms side of the family is total shit and idk my dads side like at All

[fereldenshero]

i also totally forgot to put game grumps merch on my wishlist like a damn FOOL

[undercoversasa]

Hiiiii! Could you write a Marcus x fem reader? Idk if you write smut, it’s okay if you don’t and you can just leave that out but I’d like fluffy and angsty smut please. :) or just fluffy with some angst in there somewhere. Maybe something with him climbing into readers room or her climbing into his at some point? But please don’t write anything where reader or Marcus cheats/cheated. Thank you!!!!

Hi yes of course I can write that

his actions are kind of ooc

Wounded Dove

It was Friday night. Ginny and I had gotten into an argument over mom’s suspected murder. I knew mom would never hurt anyone unless it was for our family. Unless there was a reason.

I was the eldest daughter of Georgia Miller, y/n. Ginny and I are the same age but not twins. I came along when mom married my dad, Anthony. To be blunt, I’m her stepdaughter. He was a shit dad to be honest. After his death she took me in. Growing up we had moved between so many different locations that me and my siblings barely had any time to make friends or find where we belonged. Our newest location being Wellsbury. We’ve actually been here long enough to find friend groups and love interests. Mom seemed to be settling in quite well with multiple guys as per usual. I ship her the most with Joe, a total sweet eye candy. Although it seems she much rather prefers the mayor. Ginny has hit it off with this boy named Hunter. He’s good for her, he makes her happy. I happened to hit it off with our neighbor, Marcus Baker. He’s a total eye candy and he rides a motorcycle somewhat like Zion. Me and him had a connection ever since the first day we ran into each other and ever since we made things official between us he started to call me his dove. Lately he’s been sneaking into my room to have make out sessions but it hasn’t gotten to second or third base quite yet. I was hoping today would be the day until the fight with Ginny happened. Now I just sat pathetically crying in my room, having completely forgotten the fact that Marcus would come over. I didn't realize his presence in the room until I heard a slight coughing. “You good, dove?” he approached my side.

“Yea, I’m fine” fidgeting with my hands. “you know you can talk to me about anything, I’m always gonna be here for you” I sighed “thanks it’s just Ginny” I didn't really want to burden him about my family issues but I knew that I could trust him. “What happened? Did she do something to you?” he inquired whilst holding my hands. “it’s just we got into an argument over Georgia. She’s always being so rude to her and for whatever reason she believes she’s always out to get her. She’s our mom for Christ sake.” Speaking of this made me recall how Ginny called our mom a “dangerous woman” who could “hurt us” and it made me feel sick. “ dove, you know her relationship with your mom is complicated. Don’t stress yourself over it because I assure you, it probably won’t end any time soon.”

I realized I probably ruined the mood for the plans we had tonight but I really had looked forward to it so here goes nothing. “can we kiss?” when I said that his face turned slightly red and we began to make out. He certainly knew his way around these kinds of things. Things started to get heated and before I knew it, his hands were up my shirt fumbling with the straps of my bra while I tried my best to aid him. Finally with a bit of struggling we got my top off and we’re just about to take of the rest of our clothes when all of a sudden someone pounds on the door “Y/N YOU BETTER NOT BE GETTING FRISKY WITH WHITE BOI IN YOUR ROOM” ah shit… it’s mom. that’s kind of the end please let me know what you think

[cambrioleur]

Random observations on this season (updating)

(SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY)

Episode 1

I don't think we've ever seen Assane do a genuine fourth-wall break before

OK so Claire has a last name now

Assane really expected that he could just show up and Claire would just fall at his feet

I'm surprised Benjamin is just allowed to continue working at his shop

This feels better-edited than Parts 1 & 2

Name a more iconic duo than Belkacem and failing constantly (she really doesn't listen, does she)

Episode 2

Philippe Courbet sighting

NEVER invite Guédira to a funeral lmaooo

Hang on I'm just now realizing that Juliette is at this funeral, too (she's standing in the second row behind Benjamin and Claire and honestly doesn't seem too upset about Assane's "death")

I like how in the flashback Babakar tells Assane that he reminds him of his mother and then it turns out she was a criminal

This seems to be around the time of Raoul's birthday again; he really can't catch a break on that

Episode 3

New shipping war just dropped: Guédira/Belkacem vs Guédira/Fleur

That bit where Claire was outright begging Benjamin to tell her Assane was alive and he couldn't...that was sad

But then it was followed by Benjamin doing the "uhh my FRIEND just died" act with Belkacem which was funny

This gang of thugs is trying a little too hard tbh

Assane's disguise in this episode is fucking terrible lol

The basketball coach disguise, on the other hand, is the only time I've genuinely thought he wasn't recognizable

Episode 4

Ironically that coach persona is probably the best parenting Assane has ever done

Claire? Doing things that are vaguely cool?? That feels illegal. Also, she looked so proud of herself for swiping that book, lol

Betraying Benjamin was certainly...a choice on Assane's part ("everyone disliked that")

This episode is going to devastate the show's Tumblr fandom

Episode 5

Assane trolling the shit out of Guédira will never not be funny

These 1998 flashbacks are pretty dark actually

Honestly the way Claire got that reveal out of Benjamin was very well-played on her part

Guédira out here looking like present-day Ringo Starr with that disguise

Aww look at Assane playing the matchmaker for Guédira and Belkacem, heh heh

This is easily one of the funniest episodes

Except Benjamin is straight up not having a good time -- it looks like he got beaten up in prison

Episode 6

Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not totally sure Benjamin knows that Assane betrayed him. It's possible he just thinks that he fucked up with the bracelet and then missed a cue in the maze

"Pasta with ketchup" jesus fucking christ Claire that sounds horrendous (although I'm guessing the only reason they did that was because of the ketchup-bottle reveal)

Assane really has Claire's number because he's now seduced her twice under two different identities

IDK whether or not Raoul has figured out that the coach is his dad but it's funny that he still seemed to be shipping it either way

It's nice that we get to see Claire's more playful side in this season, like her messing with Assane by acting really flirty with "Alex" after she realizes they're the same person

INCREDIBLE casting for the younger and older versions of Keller tbh; they easily look like they could be the same person

Episode 7

What a nice family reunion...it would be a shame if something happened to it...

The flashbacks are significantly darker than the present timeline this time around

Guédira finally got to arrest Assane, good for him!

The scene at the train station with the letter from Assane to Claire sort of reminds me of the ending to A Tale of Two Cities, which I had to read for AP prep a while back

Oh look, Hubert Pellegrini is back

So they're CLEARLY setting up another season with this ending

The choice of people to show on the montage there was interesting, lol

I could see a Juliette antagonist arc happening tbh

Maybe Assane's mom isn't all she seems either

And what about Benjamin? If he turns against Assane the viewers are going to lose their minds

[mazzystar24]

I've been thinkin bout that bt scene. Obviously I might be totally wrong but idk, I feel like T kinda muttered "god I hope so" into his wine glass & not directly at Buck & he was being maybe kinda insecure, like in his head maybe since we assume he's older & more experienced he might think that's why Buck is sticking around?

Like idk, it's a call back somehow to the first date and the closet comment? Like T wants this to work out because he thinks Buck is adorable but you know they aren't really clicking so ya know whatever works? (But eventually it will fully break down)

And the way Buck said "but you think I do?" about the daddy issues is like Buck goin "....wait what?" in his head because his head does tilt a bit to the side like 🤔🤔🤔 And it's showing that they don't fit.

That it was intentionally weird & off putting.

Tho I do think the bit where T says "but your father is alive" wasn't meant to be snarky. Buck then says "Exactly" which I took as Buck being all "exactly, my dad's just THAT shitty and he's not going to change."

Off course then the speech Buck gave Chris is a bit eh, but like two things can be true at the same time. XD

Also I'm def not a bt shipper, Buddie all the way but yeah that's just how it came off to me. Lol.

I hope this makes sense.

I have been swamped with exams and neglected my inbox so 💐💐💐💐💐

Eh I feel like it was definitely more flirty than insecure like I’m tempted to add the gifsets for reference but I don’t want it to show up in the gif makers’ notifications but yeah like as he’s saying it it’s 100% like suggestive vibes rather than self deprecating making a joke about an actual insecurity vibe

Like I think for me this is definitely a horses not zebras moment

I do keep think that maybe the like off putting moments are intentional because so many weird choices have been made with BT

For the your dad is alive I think I wasn’t super clear on my opinion on it but like I don’t mean he said it to be snarky per say more so that the implications behind that line are things like “you’d feel differently if he wasn’t” or “you can fix things before he does” or as if that’s something to be thankful for or recognise when talking about his pseudo father nearly dying

Like the reason I hate this line isn’t that it necessarily has to be cruel intentions on Tommys part but rather that this sorta narrative gets forced down traumatised peoples throats CONSTANTLY (sometimes with good intentions) and it’s such a bullshit rhetoric and it’s even more bullshit to use that line while talking about this found family/pseudo father he has nearly dying

Also yeah that’s definitely what that “exactly” was meant to be like yup a dead dad would at least be less traumatising, a lot easier to explain, and probably easier on my therapist than this clusterfuck but alas

BUCKS SPEECH TO CHRIS- okay lots of thoughts on this because my mom got confused and picked thought daughter:

Do I love that the writers low-key made it sound like he’s comparing Eddie to the Buckley parents? no I hate it but KR was writing for this ep so what did we expect

Do I think a marginally better way to interpret it is that it was more so continuing that theme of paralleling buck and Chris’ issues? Yes

Are the basic and I mean like the very abstract very simple and nothing further parallels there? Yeah like parent not over their grief causes conflict between parent and child

Other than that no not at all Eddie never involved Chris in this, Kim came over with her Shannon cosplay without telling him, Eddie also never intentionally emotionally harmed Chris while the Buckley parents spent bucks entire life intentionally being the absolute worst™️ and emotionally neglectful and were shit parents to Maddie too by forcing her to pretend her brother didn’t exist while she was a child and mourning said brother

But I also think it’s actually very in character for buck to continue to sympathise with them and cut them an impossible amount of slack by trying to draw parallels to this situation like it’s less trying to paint Eddie more like them and more so using Eddie (someone he cares about and loves and sympathises with deeply) as a frame of reference to mentally try to humanise and sympathise with his own parents - idk if I’m making sense but in my head it makes sense

Like it’s actually a pretty common thing you see with traumatised people they’ll sorta draw parallels that aren’t there between themselves or the people they care about and the people who traumatised them because a lot of traumatised people will just constantly seek to understand that perspective more and sympathise with it like hell I’ve seen it with the people in my life doing it and it’s like woah those situations are very different I need you to recognise that

Loved hearing your view of it and it totally made sense!!!

Gonna see if there are any quick asks I can answer before I get back to my revision cos I definitely yapped more than I expected for this

[curelore]

WOW this episode just started and already, I feel so bad for Kokone. Idk why I didn't expect them to be covering her distance from her parents at some point considering how often the show highlights or foreshadows her loneliness because of them, but I'm also pleasantly surprised with the route that they've decided to take with this. At some point, Amane asks Kokone if she's lonely, and she seems to be confused at her question as though she is realizing something, and I think it's her realizing that the emotion that she's felt throughout the whole series when there's a vignette showing her eating alone at an empty table was loneliness.

When faced with the idea of spending time with her parents, she doesn't seem like she'd even know what to do, as them being together is so rare of an event that it feels weird and unfamiliar to her.

Her mom even says that she's never seen Kokone genuinely smile like she has when watching her cook with her friends, and even Yui's mom seems to be giving her a side eye like "oh you're ABSENT absent" lol

And this....this really made me cringe in sympathy for Kokone, to the point where I had to pause the episode and just kinda. brace myself lol...the fact that when they finally ask her about what she likes, her dad just talks over her and assumes she's talking about food (which he likes), and she's seemingly so used to it that she smiles (like it's practiced instead of a frown) and ends the topic. So sad!!!

And then for the rest of the conversation, Kokone's mom attempts to make awkward small talk, clearly realizing that she and her husband have nothing to even talk about with their own daughter. In typical Precure Dad Fashion (tm), Kokone's dad seems blissfully ignorant of any of this, and just assumes that he has some happy little family because it's more convenient than coming to terms with reality. Mark that as another dad on my Precure dad shit list lol!!

I just hope that they don't resolve this like they did in Suite where they frame it like the dad was totally in the right and the Cure was just misunderstanding him. That one still pisses me off to this day lol

edit: after watching a bit more, her dad does seem aware of the awkwardness, but I still am pissed at him for having the gall to be like "I'll find out what she likes!!" as if he didn't shut her down immediately when she tried to talk about her interests -_-

[thegeminisage]

TNG UPDATE TIME. it's been ages. monday we did "a matter of time" (boo) and wednesday we did "new ground" (holy shit).

a matter of time: did you guys know the little guy here played pestilence on spn? his vibes were horrific. he was awful. i don't say that about the actor himself, who was obviously very good if he could get us to lean back from our screens like that, but i did NOT like that. not one bit. now every time i see him in spn gifs i get scared

anyway it's been awhile since we had such a huge dud and i did not miss it. everybody was extra stupid this episode to make the bad guy seem smart, My Least Favorite. he was also there ALL THE TIME instead of giving us a break from him which was also super awful

also he tried to kidnap data, though i love that he failed hilariously and also they made a new jersey joke

i predicted the twist of this episode - that he was from the past, not the future - about halfway through. so at least i get to feel accomplished about something.

i do like that deanna told him to fuck off. she's never mean to anybody but he REALLY deserved it

new ground: I LOVE WORF................

i'm soooo mad at people in the star trek calling worf a deadbeat dad. idk if he does something shitty later but i totally understood the ethical dilemma in this ep maybe even perhaps better than the writers wanted me to bc the thing is like. sorry

CHILDREN

SHOULD

NOT

BE

ON

STARSHIPS

sorry to families with children. sorry to single mothers and actually to women everywhere. sorry even to wesley crusher, my perfect precious baby boy, who i will defend with my life. they SHOULD NOT BE ON STARSHIPS.

like, ok. let's get into it. i did think it was wack that worf initially sent alexander to his human parents...but that's because he wanted his son to have access to klingon society, which was something he himself DID NOT HAVE and COULD NOT GIVE ALEXANDER had anyone known alexander was worf's son. it was TOTALLY REASONABLE for worf to be thrown headfirst into parenthood and be smart enough to say, not only am i incapable of raising a child at this juncture in my life, i am incapable of connecting him to his culture, WHICH

WAS ALSO DENIED TO HIM. BY HIS MOTHER!!! LET'S NOT FORGET HIS MOM HATED KLINGONS like ik the writers forgot but EYE DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!

alexander's mother was a half-klingon woman who HATED KLINGONS. she at MULTIPLE POINTS made racist remarks about them and self-disparaging remarks about her own klingon heritage. she even gave alexander, despite being "more" klingon than human dna-wise, a HUMAN NAME. obviously the tng writing room wasnt going yeah ofc worf wants him to have access to klingon culture after all that but OFC HE DOES

which makes it wack to me that he sent alexander off to live with his parents and not his brother. NO ONE KNOWS kurn is worf's brother. he could have raised alexander on the klingon homeworld as his own, or even as his nephew, and no one would ever have known he was connected to worf. whereas sending alexander to live with the humans who raised worf is a huge indicator that he is worf's child

one might say, well he thinks klingon schools would be too harsh for this kid who was essentially raised as a human. this is a legitimate and valid concern he has in the episode as well. worf would not be as harsh as the klingon schools but he WOULD give alexander access to his klingon heritage. so that's the happy medium! as a side bonus we also don't give alexander EVEN MORE abandonment issues. the problem is,

CHILDREN SHOULDN'T BE ON A STARSHIP. we see in this very episode why they shouldn't be on a starship. "oh the saucer can separate whenever to protect the kiddos" SPACE IS DANGEROUS. they never have the budget or the time to separate the saucer. they just take all those little guys into horrible experiments whenever. i could almost understand if it was like, a spaceship that just delivered freight or something but it's an EXPLORATORY SHIP its SOLE PURPOSE is to head into unknown dangers. DON'T TAKE CHILDREN.

meanwhile worf is late to work meetings and gets commed twice about his kid while he's trying to explain himself to picard like...now you've got to consider the fact that people on the enterprise live at their workplace. they are basically on call 24/7. like if a space disaster strikes it is not gonna wait until you are through with your weekend relaxation or are finished putting your kid to bed. you CAN'T be on a starship and raise your child at the same time because as a parent you have to put your child first always and as a starship officer where EVERYONE COULD DIE AT ANY TIME you have to put the ship first always and TWO THINGS can't BOTH be first priority

like, worf is literally doing the best he can. maybe he should have sent alexander to live with his brother when he was still a little squirt but it may be too late for that now. there are quite literally no good options here to this moral dilemma of "where does my baby belong" which is actually so good because worf ALSO doesn't have a place he totally belongs. they both have a foot in each world. i bet it would be really good if it wasn't on tng

ANYWAY. sorry. there's a post in the george kirk tag about star trek fathers that disses worf and it makes me see red every time. wow! TONIGHT: "hero worship" (forboding title i hate tng episodes with kids) and "violations" (equally forboding title but here's hoping it just means we'll be playing riker roulette).

[starnightlover]

Hello star, can I confide in you please , I am in need of advice and reassurance

I just raed a post of yours ir was an ask from someone several weeks back. This person talks about struggling to improve their sc and how their siblings are treated better and they are treated like shit. I think they also said they would never wish that on their siblings and how everywhere they go they are ignored and stuff. And I resonate so much with this that I hate to even admit

I know I am the creator and I know about loa and stuff still my sc is bad. I totally get their pain when they said about being treated worse than others. I know how shitty it feels. I will tell you about yesterday we went to a party and met other family members abd all that and again my sister went along with my other cousins and I am awkward and nervous coz its always been this way. If I try ti say something everyone acts like it was stupid or just ignores. Then one of (my cousins husband came along saying to my sister "she us my fav sis in law" and introducing her to everyone around calling her his fav. I know its such petty and stupid things to even think about but I felt really bad I was right there. My mom always sides with her and talks oo me like shit a lot if times.

I remember once 2 or 3 years back I was sitting on my couch and I said my skin looks so dull and then my dad said out of nowhere stop being jealous and youll be fine { he meant it pointing towards my sister as if I was jealous of her and he said in a way more mean and rude tone. Idk how to express that feeling but I was so shocked as it was so random. Back then I had none of these problems. I didnt even care if anyone treated my sister better than or shit like that. I was fine in my sc and had fun wherever I would go and life was so much better. My parents were the only ones who would compare me to my sister and say look at her does she ever demand for stuff or does she refuse to do this and blah blah and at that I time I could have cared less coz I knew for a fact that I was not wrong in voicing my opinions and thats why they always compare me to her (if I ever felt bad about their behaviour and expressed it to my parents they would call me toxic, or my head is filled with negativity while all I was doing was letting them k ow how hurtful their words can be ). I remember that day when I heardmy dad say that about me it hurt me so bad idk how to explain but even today when I recall it feels like I am getting physically stabbed AND after that I got so concious of every little thing I started comparing myself to ger and with all the circumstances I went through these years my sc just got even worse.

Now when I try to work on my sc I feel like I cant be the best, or good enough , or the most beautiful or all those things I want because I dont deserve it yeah but my sister does. I am stuck at home so I have to face this everyday. Like all these things are reserved for her. All I wamt to have is the best sc I dont want my sister to experience any shitty stuff and I dont want to be the one to experience it either. I sometimes get so angry on her in my mind and I just get irritated and I hate being with her coz I dont want to feel less than and looked down upon and then I feel guilty for feeling this way.

You might dislike me for saying the things I did but I really dont know how to get rid of all this. I dont want to be ignored or sidelined or treated like some third or 4th option or always getting shit from my parents. I know I have to affirm and persist or states but how do I even maintain it seeing the 3d it all feels like such a lie to me.

I see so many people manifesting weightloss and df and db and so much more. Even people who say they were horrible at manifesting and stuff like that they did it so quickly and I struggle to even manifest biscuits.

First off, I want to say I am so sorry you have gone through these experiences! You deserve the world and nothing less, hell you deserve the whole universe/multiverse! You wanting to change your self concept is a huge step! I know you are in hard circumstances but you are still in control, you are still limitless! You can manifest anything you can ever think of!! You are NOT limited whatsoever! You're amazing, talented, beautiful, worthy, loving, extraordinary just because you exist! You are the first choice because this is your reality! Pick yourself up and know you are chosen because you said so!! Recognize your limitless power! You have the power to bend all of reality t your will, realize how amazing and powerful you truly are! YOU ARE THE GOD OF YOUR REALITY!! Isn't that amazing? Don't blame yourself for everything that has been told to you or that you have gone through, you are not your trauma! I advise you to not identify with the 3d! The 3d is merely a reflection of your imagination. You fulfill within your imagination and the 3d has no choice to reflect that. Your emotions don't manifest, feel them all you want! Cry your eyes out, as long as you are not identifying with the outside world but with your imagination, which is the true reality you can not fail! YOUR DESIRES ARE INEVITABLE!! Nothing, I repeat nothing has control over you! Not your family, not your friends, not your 3d, not a single thing has any power over you! Failure does not exist you will always win! You can change your self concept by starting to identify with what you desire and not the unwanted circumstances! Change your conception of self because the world is merely a reflection of thyself. Change your assumptions towards manifesting! Change your assumptions to you always get what you want, people treat you amazingly, you are always the first choice, you manifest anything instantly! You need to change your conception from having such assumptions and identify with your power and awareness! You can maintain a good self concept by persisting in the dominant assumptions that align with your self concept being at a peak! Remember you are in control, you got this!

[retrogradedreaming]

okay so i went and read your pinned post on your oc blog and i wanna hear more about gingersnap book 👀 what are the characters like? what's the world like? i'm bad at coming up with questions so just share anything you want skjhgsk

sfksdjfld grace this made my morning <3 also don't worry about being bad at questions, I sent the ask about your OCs to you before 6am when my eyes had been open a grand total of five minutes, so you're good 😂

btw before i get into it, if anyone wants to see my wips, characters, thoughts about either, and other original work, i post more of that on my wip sideblog @slippersandsmoke

gingersnap book is the oldest project I have that I'm still (sort of) working on (since...2015? 2016? i can't remember when Liam and Elliott first showed up). it's a little complicated for me because very early on, the characters started as like side OCs in a collab fic sort of thing with my ex, and then these characters developed more completely into their own thing until I took them out of the fandom world where they started and just made them their own story.

the world is just our world and the story is set in the general area of where I live. that might change, though, because one of the characters supposedly lives in his family's vacation house and no one has a vacation house here. then again, maybe he can just move, idk, I've been taking a break from working on the main story this year, so I haven't worked out a lot of the details around the setting/reasons why one of the main characters lives there. which also means that anything I tell you now is subject to change later.

the story follows Liam and Elliott, who had a long-term relationship, broke up, and then come back together through a series of unfortunate coincidences and events. the characters are all in their mid-20s (y'know, to reflect that i was in my mid-20s when I made them), and the whole story is kind of like an exploration of the mid-20s experience of "what the fuck am I doing with my life?"

since this is getting long, I'm putting the specific character info for the four main characters I think about under the cut

Liam: He's a manager at an upscale restaurant in the area, he's from London (I think) and he's...hm. Not very nice? He tries to be, and he's reliable, practical, and gets shit done, but he doesn't do feelings. He moved to [the fictional version of where I live] for school, where he met Elliott. He's really into theatre, and he prefers directing to acting (though he's quite capable at both).

Elliott: Elliott lives in western MA, and he went to school for art. He loves to draw and paint, and he works at a bookstore and as an art teacher. He's very opposite Liam in that he enjoys his alone time, but he'd much rather enjoy time with other people and he has no problem being likable and fitting in with others.

Will: He works with Liam at the restaurant, and he bounces between jobs to pay for his apartment and help his mom support/care for his younger siblings. He has a German shepherd named Milo, and he's kind of a work hard play hard type of person, where he works a LOT but he knows how to have a good time. He's involved with Jasper, but they both have their own commitment issues, so they're mostly friends with benefits who are inextricably connected.

Jasper: He's a bartender, and he's had a rough life. He met Will in high school and spent most of his time at Will's house, so he essentially integrated into their family until Will's dad died when they were in college (Will dropped out after that because he needed to work). And that's when Jasper kind of left the picture for a while, since he thought his struggles would make it worse for them. But Jasper himself is really sweet, super outgoing, and he's the kind of person that people naturally look after because he's such a disaster that everyone's like "should probably watch that guy." But he means well, and he loves Will despite his commitment issues.

[neon-in-the-night-time]

oh god memorial day weekend was so chaotic this year, everything was a clusterfuck. friday and saturday were so chaotic but i barely remember what happened then bc everything sunday overshadowed it wtf

family drama and rants after the cut… also a content warning for mentions of blood

my sister and i woke up at 7 am on friday in order to beat the traffic (we couldn’t go down thursday night like our parents and my mom’s older younger brother did bc my sister had a concert). i decided to take advantage of the house being empty of my parents to look in the “witchcraft shed” to see if my mother had hidden any of my possessions i didn’t know about (my mom in the last year has gone on a crusade against “witchcraft” and after i left for college she took anything she deemed witchcraft and shoved it in this shed so that the witchcraft wouldn’t be “tainting” her home) and a few things that i knew i didn’t take with me to college but were missing when i came home weren’t in the shed (most notably the giant 6 foot wide 4 foot long spider me and two of my friends built in high school that was meant to be aragog from h*rry potter that i keep not bc i like harry potter (🤢) anymore but because he’s a giant spider and i always take him with me to sleepaway camp to decorate the unit bc he adds ambiance and also the matching smaller spiders that i made that i hung from the rafters are gone too). but what i’m most mad that she hid in the shed is this little canvas painting of a corn snake that a camper made for me 3 years ago… that goes on my camper fanart wall! that was a gift! how dare she!

anyways me and my sister rescued the shit we wanted to rescue (including the cd of the live action little mermaid soundtrack) and we went on our merry way down to the shore. all was well, we didn’t run into any traffic on the way and we got dunks for breakfast. my mom’s youngest brother was also supposed to come down on friday, and he was supposed to drop off his 13yo daughter (my cousin) at his ex-wife’s house bc it’s supposed to be her weekend. my cousin is not happy with this seeing as she has spent the first 12 memorial day weekends of her life down the shore at our beachhouse with her dad’s side of the family and the last 3-4 years since the divorce it was always her dad’s turn during mdw. my cousin had been trying to convince her mom to come down so that she can come down too and spend the day with her cousins (mainly me my sister and our two cousins who are our age (19-21)) (there’s no one her age on our side of her family). this is unlikely as her mom has not been to our beachhouse in 7 years. my uncle is trying to communicate with my aunt (ik they’re divorced but she’s still my aunt in my head idk) and trying to coordinate dropping off my cousin with her but she is not responding. he ends up taking my cousin with him down the shore. my cousin keeps complaining to me and my sister that her mom would rather go do yoga that spend time with her. the gist we are getting from the cousin is that her mom does not want to have her that weekend for whatever reason and our cousin is not happy about it. she eventually comes down saturday afternoon (without telling any of the other adults apparently. just her daughter. which my uncle (her ex-husband) and my mom were not happy about). it was extremely awkward for everyone

i don’t remember if anything happened saturday. i’m almost positive something happened but i don’t remember after the chaos of sunday

so of course the day starts at 8 am to wake up and go to my parents’ new church that’s totally not a cult… it was whatever. i’ve been zoning out during church sermons since i was like 12 so i was a pro at this. i think up gay fanfiction during the entire time. on the way back to the beach house from church i sat in the backseat of the van (a spot that i have had claimed since middle school for whole-family car rides bc not only can i zone out whatever my parents and brother are arguing about this time but i get praise for how “selfless” i am for taking the backseat, which i suppose technically has a little less legroom than the other seats). we’re on the exit ramp from the garden state parkway to get back to [town redacted]. my parents are arguing, my brother is loudly complaining about something i guess, idk, i was reading fanfiction on my phone. i was not paying attention. i am, however, paying attention when my dad rear-ends the big pickup truck in front of us on the exit ramp, which is very crowded because it’s memorial day weekend. my mom starts to yell at my dad for being reckless. my dad steps out to talk to the guy in the pickup truck. luckily for us the truck isn’t damaged, just a small gash on the front of my mom’s minivan. my dad and the guy in the pickup dap each other up (or at least i am told that’s what the gesture was after trying to explain it to my cousin). my dad gets back in the car and we start driving back to the house. my brother starts yelling about something. i don’t remember what. my mom’s still chastising my dad for driving recklessly (the pickup stopped very suddenly it would’ve been hard for my dad to stop on time). my brother continues screaming as my parents ignore him. my mom declares that we’re having “quiet time”. k-love is playing faintly in the background. my brother is not happy that we’re still playing music during quiet time. my mom wins.

also on sunday my mom’s older sister and their dad (my poppop) are supposed to come for a day trip. now the thing you need to know about my poppop is he is very old. he has dementia and he has a large number of health problems. the backs of his hands and forearms (which are normally the color of a very tan italian-american) are speckled with black. i don’t actually know why this is. he has difficulty with walking, but refuses to use mobility aids. he also isn’t allowed to drive anymore, which is why he came with my aunt. his skin is apparently really really thin (this is relevant). the plan was initially for everyone to go out to lunch at this one seafood restaurant we always go to. usually we go saturday night when the most people are here, but poppop wanted to go, and because he has been going there for decades and is friends (?) with the owner, his kids were willing to indulge him. my aunt and my poppop get there while my mom’s older younger brother, his wife, and their two sons (the aforementioned cousins who are me and my sister’s age) are down at the beach. my sister and i text our cousins saying “hey pop’s here you guys wanna come back so we can go to [seafood restaurant]?” but no. apparently poppop and my aunt want to go to the beach first. also poppop wants to go to the restaurant for dinner. everyone except me and my mom seem fine with this. before he leaves for the beach, however, poppop asks my mom if there’s any beers. she’s trying to get out of getting him a beer. i’m not sure if she was genuinely concerned for his health or doing her weird “i am in this world but i am not of this world” judgey thing again. she asks if i can look in the outside fridges for pop. i do not pick up that she does not actually want me to get him a beer, however, i thought that my uncle’s beers that he had were in bottles and not cans so when i saw the beer can on it’s side i thought it was a soda can. “sorry pop, there’s no beers in there” “uncle [redacted] must have took them with him to the beach”. my dad gets him the beer, as he also did not pick up on the fact that my mom really did not want him having that beer (she ended up being right on this one tho given what happened)

it is agreed among poppop’s kids that we are going to show up at the restaurant exactly as it opens at 4 to put our names in so that we can get poppop back home to pennsylvania at a reasonable time bc he’s old and they’re worried about his health. there are 9 people going to the restaurant: me, my sister, my mom, my mom’s older younger brother and his family, my mom’s sister, and my poppop. my dad and brother are staying back bc my brother has a ton of allergies and is eating on his own, my mom’s youngest brother and his kid left in the morning. me, my sister, and the cousin that’s my sister’s age are sent on foot to put our name in and the other six come a little later in two cars. we put our name in, we get our table, all is well. we’re waiting for about 5-10 minutes and then our aunt (my mom’s sister) comes in. she tells us that poppop fell coming out of the car and he’s bleeding heavily from his head and also his knee. she says that poppop is insisting we don’t call an ambulance. my sister and i, who are first aid/for trained and certified, say abso-fucking-lutely not, especially at his age. we tell the server we’re forfeiting our table and we walk outside to see what’s happening. when we walk out we see my mom had the same idea as us bc she’s on the phone with 911. her siblings think she’s overreacting (she’s correct to do this). my older cousin (my age) and his dad are pressing paper towels against poppop’s head to stop the bleeding. the restaurant owner (who is friends/familiar with my poppop and is also very old) and his daughter and granddaughter (who run the restaurant) are outside too (this is where they got the paper towels) (they also got a large bag of ice but it wouldn’t help much in the situation). the police arrive, ems not long after. at some point my mom has me call my dad to update him on the situation. ems gets pop bandaged up and on a stretcher in the ambulance. my mom goes with him in the ambulance, and the adultier adults (my mom’s brother, sister, and her brother’s wife) follow in one of the cars. once my older cousin has washed his hands of the blood (biohazard), my mom has the four of us drive her van back home. our cousins’ mom gives us $40 for dinner.

we drive hack home, we give my dad another update, we eventually get dinner at this italian place on the boardwalk that used to have really good really cheap pizza but has kinda fell to the wayside recently and is hella expensive now but it’s possible for me to eat there with my gluten thing which is what really matters. poppop is in the hospital until 9ish at night, the adults are arguing whether he should stay the night in the hospital, stay the night at our beach house, or drive back to pennsylvania and spend the night at home. staying at the hospital would probably be best but he really doesnt want to and the hospital discharges him. by now the other adultier adults have agreed that my mom was right to call 911. it’s decided that poppop is going to stay the night at the shore, which is an issue because the fog is really thick and we’re on the second floor of the house so he’d have to go up the wet, outdoor stairs to get up here. also because with him and my aunt staying over, we are slightly over capacity when it comes to beds. when he gets there there is a team of about 5 people surrounding him making sure he doesn’t fall again coming up the steps. nobody can agree on the bed situation, nobody is happy, at some point somebody tries to convince my sister to sleep on the trundle bed. it’s a mess.

also the whole time all this is happening my parents and sister are arguing about my sister’s birthday/her birthday gifts and my mom is being all uppitty about the fact that she doesn’t drink alcohol

[videostak]

p sure my moms drunk tonight T-T or atleast being weird and slurring her speech a lot idk its hard to tell anymore tho i dont kno when she wouldve even got stuff i guess she went w/ my younger sister and her friend to the grocery store so maybe then? idk tho i feel like she didnt but shes def weird she came into my room earlier to try to tell me that she was gonna give me a 50$ a week allowance for the errands i constantly have to do and i was just like umm no we should talk abt this another time. i hate it cause that seems normal enough and soemthing someone would totally accept until u realize its more hush money than anything and her just trying to pay me off to put up w/ the way she is its like annoyyying and also 2 our family is like not doing good on money i mean we’re still getting by but like kinda always  have to be careful and for my mom to just throw that at me is insane. like makes me wonder why shed even do that then next day warn us all that things are gonna be tight w/ money lol and then like if i were to have taken the money (im not going to obv) but if i did she’d then like hold it against me if i ever call her out on her shit like act like i have to be grateful sooo ya. i hate the way my mom is cause like on days like this when i just have to do shit nonstop she praises me endlessly but then the moment i voice my problems she threatens to kick me out and acts like im the most ungrateful slob of all time. genuinely hypocritical like she really tries to gaslight me into thinking i do absolutely nothing around the house anytime i get annoyed that no one helps around and that im the one who gets chewed out for the house being a mess but then once the dust settles and i havent complained for a week or month or so then she tries to give ME big lectures on how grateful she is and how ia always do stuff w/o complaining and how she wants to send me large amounts of cash to keep up the good work it just makes me siiiick. like makes me feel like frowing up. anyways idk me driving and everything like being able to drive my siblings places normal style and also me hoping i can go to the movies w/ my mom like that independence makes it not feel as crushing as it used to. and like ill have to see how this record store thing goes and if not i can find a job somewhere hopefully soon. thinking abt how transparent my moms intentions are sometimes makes me reallly feel sick tho but like ultimately it doesnt seem to affect me as much as it used to like idk it means nothing to me cause i dont have to rely on her and have gotten better at standing my ground more often both w/ her and w/ my dad and realizing how useless it is to pick sides or to even defend someone in dishonest ways etccc excited to watch playtime tomorrow hopefully idk im gonna go to the mall then watch playtime the criteiron dvd then the brazilian one and see if anythings different in like quality n stufff. and also wanna watch lovers live :)

[lilacponds]

YALL WANNA KNOW SOME FUN FAMILY STUFF? OKAY LETS GO

so, i have an older brother. he's 5 years older than me. he's also a total fucking manbaby but thats not today's discussion. we have different fathers, my parents met after my brother was already born. (his bio dad is a piece of shit that bailed the moment he found out my mom was pregnant or something.)

that clear? okay? okay. SO

my dad's DAD. him and my dad have a HORRIBLE relationship. idk the details of it but my dad really doesn't like him and i'm lead to believe he was a shitty father. ANYWAYS, that is a small part of the reason why i NEVER had a relationship with him.

wanna know the BIG part of the reason?

apparently he wanted to meet ME, but he could not care less for my BROTHER ! (because my dad isn't his bio dad or whatever probably. i never heard that directly but, like, what else.) which my mom did NOT like at all! so she set the hard boundary of either he gives a shit about both children or he doesn't get to see any of them.

now, i'm aware that he's a shitty person (for more than one reason) and that he was a shitty father to my dad, so i do NOT mourn the loss of the relationship i never had with him or whatever, but it does however make me a little salty that my mom decided i was to not have any relationship with my grandfather at all because he did not care for my brother. i would like to note here that the only grandparent i've ever had was my mother's mom, who out of the 4 of us cousins (me and my brother, and my two cousins who are siblings) ALWAYS favored my brother (because he's the eldest). no, like, literally. my cousins lived with her when she was alive, but me and my brother would visit like almost every weekend, which was fun for about the 5 minutes i got where i wasn't bullied or abandoned. but in the morning my grandma ALWAYS brought my brother out to have breakfast just the two of them out in the town. she never brought anyone else, least of all me, just him. i'm sure she loved us ! but my brother has always been the baby and the favorite, both with my mom and my grandma. so that hurt like a motherfucker growing up ! (i do have a couple of good memories with her. she didn't completely ignore me. she just favored him.) anyways point is the only grandparent i've ever had was one grandmother who had a clear favorite. so, i dunno, having a grandpa that i could actually invite for grandparent day in elementary school would've been rad, maybe.

do you wanna know my FAVORITE memory of my dad's dad ??? (yes, i staunchly refuse to call him my grandfather. he's just some dude to me) yes you do, because that's the reason i'm making this post in the first place.

SO i have this cousin! she's way younger than me, and my uncle's daughter on my DAD's side !!! and i remember going to a birthday party of hers when i was a kid, maybe like 7 or so, fuck if i know, i was old enough that i remember it is the point. and i grew up incredibly anxious, but eventually at that party i found another little girl to play ball with! (literally just tossing the ball to each other) and i was just vibing and playing, until this old man comes up to me. and he goes "hi!" and i look at him for like a second (because remember, i was playing ball with another girl, so i had to look at the ball to know where to toss it and to avoid it smacking me in my face) and i go "...hi." he just looks at me for a moment and then he goes, "do you know who i am?" now, this was about the first time i've held a conversation with this man! BUT, somehow i had (still have) this clear memory of seeing this man at, like, a laundromat with my dad at some point when i was even smaller, and somehow i just Remember? and i go "yeah, you're my dad's dad." i shit you not i said it like that i have never referred to him as my grandpa even as a child to his face i love baby me. and he goes "yeah i am!" and i go "...ok" and i keep playing ball! and he just... stands there for a second before awkwardly shuffles off.

NOW, this is hilarious to me and a core fucking memory, but what i love to add to this is, MY DAD HAD A HELL OF A TIME TELLING ME AND MY MOM HOW THIS INTERACTION CAME TO BE. Apparently they had been talking, and he was like "can i go tell her i'm her grandpa?" and my dad, knowing me and knowing how he raised me, he was DOWN, and he went "sure go for it, she's not gonna care". and it must've been SO SATISFYING to be him and see this happen and then see the look on his fucking dad's face afterwards.

WANNA KNOW ANOTHER FUNNY THING?

so every few years or something i reconnect with that very cousin (mentally ill + age gap makes it hard for me to actually reach out, plus my mom really dislikes my uncle for Reasons), and i was just over at her place one day, and then out of nowhere WHO VISITS IF NOT MR. FUCKER HIMSELF? my cousin and uncle did give me a heads up about his arrival and i was like "i dont mind, i dont care" because i genuinely couldn't give two shits, but he had NO CLUE i'd be there. and lookie look, he actually recognizes me! and he jokes to my uncle, "she doesn't remember who i am." but like, so confidently.

and i look him straight in the eyes. emotionless.

and i go,

"i know who you are. you're my dad's dad."

he did not know how to answer that. me and my cousin proceeded to go to the yard to continue hanging out.

its so small and so petty but god i fucking loved the look on his face.

OH by the way wanna know one of the reasons i know he's a shitbag garbage of human being?

so my dad has several brothers. im not actually close with any of them, the one i've seen the most is the one i already mentioned. a few years ago, one of them died. he had cancer, it wasn't out of the blue, but it happened. i had never even met the guy so it didn't really affect me personally, but my dad (and his brothers) (understandably) were broken. the funeral wasn't in our city, so he traveled there by himself. i kinda wished i could've gone with him just to support him, but i couldn't. but anyways.

my dad and uncles talk about the will. i dont know the specifics of it, but there was like an apartment involved i believe, and they decided to legally leave everything to one specific brother to handle for everyone or something. that, though, meant that the people included in the will had to go and legally sign away their rights. and wouldn't you know it, as my dad's next of kin*, i had to go as well. because if my dad gave up the rights, they would pass over to me or something. idk. i just knew i had to go sign something. i dont know the details nor the law. this was very soon after the funeral. a couple of uncles were there.

as well as Mr. Fucker himself (along with his wife, not the biological mother of any of my uncles).

now i dont remember the exact wording, i dont think. but when talking about the will and his death, even with the notary or lawyer or whatever present (so not even the dignity of privacy), he makes a fucking joke. about the death of an uncle and brother and his son.

i shit you not the silence that fell in the room, with only his stupid little self-satisfied laughter, as everyone is in shock staring at him.

i think he burnt all his bridge a long, long time ago - but if he had any hopes of reconnecting with any of his family, he torched all of the land surrounding that bridge too.

(also less heinous. i had never met his wife. she is no one to me. and she still tried to ask me about my school, and when i mentioned i dropped out of high school, she tried to pull the 'oh but youre so smart you were doing so well!' card. i was trying to be polite up until then. i told her 'you dont know me. leave me alone.' i think i felt the silent pride of my dad and both my uncles on me at that moment.)

*note about being my dad's next of kin: HEEEEEEEEELLLL YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

no i dont have anything to inherit or anything. he dont got shit to put on a will. but my dad is a good father. a great one, even. no, he's not perfect, he's grumpy and gruff and he has a shitty sense of humor that just irks people, i get mad at him a lot and we get into shouting matches sometimes and he has a tendency to be stubborn and to raise his voice. but he's also a huge teddy bear, he's sweet and thoughtful. he's loving and caring. and he has worked himself to the bone to give the best he could to this family.

honestly? there were times, growing up, when he didn't have solid employment, and we were dirt poor, and without complaining, he just.. went out in the morning, and he came back having found some way to earn enough money for food for the day. i will never know what it is he did. i will never know what favors he pulled, i will never know what odd jobs he did or how he even found them. i don't know if i ever want to know. but he would comb the entire city for something to do to earn just enough for us to have food in our stomachs for the day.

he's a hardworker, and he's charming as all hell, and he's a sweetheart. you can't not love him. i think i got that from him, you know? the lovability, the charm. not the 'oozing confidence' kind - the disarming, genuine, guy-next-door kind of charm. the 'i got your back' kind of charm. damn, i'm so proud of it.

he's been through a rough life. and he's grown up with ideals of toxic masculinity, of course. he's been in the military and he's been to prison (for his brother, may i add). i'm sure he's got undiagnosed unresolved trauma that's shaped him. and honestly i've got the suspicion he might have a tinge of ADD as well. point is, he's got reasons for having his flaws. well, all that, and the fact that he's a human being.

but he's always got love in his heart. and a thought for his loved ones first and foremost. yes, he might complain and drag his feet at times, but only when he knows that doing so wont actually harm us. he's been difficult when we asked him for favors in the past (even though he always ended up doing them anyways), but he's always been there when we really needed him.

and my brother pisses on all of that. my father has taken him in, and has always, always treated him like his own son even if he didn't have to. yes, he knew his existence when he started dating our mom, but he could've done the bare minimum - but he never has. he's always gone above and beyond.

and my brother constantly, over and over, throughout the years, has shat on all of it. multiple, multiple times he's called him a shitty father. absent. not really there. not putting in enough effort.

i'm sorry he was too busy trying to keep us alive to be there the way you wanted him to? which, i'm unsure of what the hell he means, anyways. he's always been there for my brother's difficult times, at least whenever my brother didn't push him the fuck away - which was often. my brother didn't see it, but it was my dad, it has always been my dad, that talked my mother down after bad arguments. when my brother had a fight with her and decided to just leave home (unprepared, without a job, out of spite), it was my dad that talked my mom back to enough calm to make her take back "don't you ever come back into this house again". and it was my dad that talked HIM down for hours until he saw reason and came back.

it's always been my dad. going above and beyond. even to the point of disregarding his own health.

my brother doesn't FUCKING understand that, and never will. no, im not surprised, because my brother is a selfish stubborn asshole, just like my mom.

i'm my dad's next of kin. and i take pride in it. i carry his last name with honor. (did i mention my brother got his last name changed from his absentee father's to my mom's? not even my dad's. just my mom's. but i guess momma's boys will be momma's boys.)

if i get married one day, i want to keep my last name.

[skinnyducky]

unexpected visits // v.h.

I got this idea from a movie (She's Out of My League). This scene in particular was one that nearly made me piss my pants and I knew I had to write something similar to it. I just really wanted to do something so kooky and funny and I felt this definitely fits that. I categorized this as fluff but idk. N E ways, here it is. Hope y'all enjoy it!

link to part 2

Word Count: 1420, slightly edited

WARNING: sexual themes, heavy make out session, language (once again...I think), mention of alcohol, and a very flustered vinnie

---------

You threw your head back in laughter as Vinnie had cracked another joke. You two had just left your date at BOA Steakhouse and due to the night being so great, you decided to invite Vin back to your apartment to hang out. Granted, you had no intentions of giving him the goods, at least not yet. You didn’t want to rush into that with this relationship. With so many of your previous relationships, you’d give it up and then they’d leave. You didn’t want that with Vinnie. Hell, you at least wanted him to meet your parents before any of that.

“You are a mess,” you giggled, stopping in front of your apartment door.

“Eh, I try to not to be.” He replied, making a funny face.

You rolled your eyes and pulled out your keys. You fumbled a bit before finding the key to your apartment. As you opened the door, you immediately dropped your bag and headed straight for the kitchen.

“You want anything to drink? A soda or water?” You asked, opening your fridge. “I think I may even have a White Claw or two.”

“Just a water’s fine.”

You nodded and grabbed two waters. You watched from behind the kitchen island as he glanced around your apartment, admiring the décor.

“This is a really nice place.” He gasped. “It’s even nicer than-…”

He stopped mid-sentence, staring at the horse of a dog that stood right before him. He gulped and backed away as the male Doberman began to growl at him.

“What the hell is that?” Vinnie asked, holding his hand out in defense.

Giggling, you walked out from behind the counter. “That’s Mac. I’m watching him for a while until my family gets back from Puerto Rico.”

“Oh wow,” Vinnie replied, “he’s got some teeth on him.”

“Yeah, you should sit down. He hates when people stand up; makes him antsy.”

Vinnie wasted no time taking a seat on your sofa. Mac took note of this and laid down. Taking your place on the sofa next to Vinnie, you passed him his water before taking a drink of yours. The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes, not knowing what to do or talk about. That was until you grew tired of the quietness and decided to make a move. You leaned in close to him and grabbed his chin to make him face you. The two of you stared deep into each other’s eyes, slowly moving in closer until your lips brushed against each other, but before you could get any closer, you pulled back.

“Wait…wait,” you breathed. “I’m really want to, but I don’t wanna move too fast, y’know?”

“No, no…I get it, I totally do.”

“Believe me, I want to so bad, but…I just don’t want you to leave.”

He furrowed his brows. “Wha-…Why would I leave, Y/n?”

“Because everyone else does. Every time I meet someone nice, I get pretty generous and give it up within the first couple of days and then never hear from them again. I just don’t want that with you.” You explained, cradling yourself.

Vinnie sighed, wrapping an arm around you. He gave you a comforting smile and pulled you into his side.

“Y/n, I like you so much, I didn’t even think it was possible to like someone so much. So, regardless of whether or not we do anything, I have no plans on dipping anytime soon. Heck, I tend to be pretty generous too.”

You smirked to yourself. Never once has someone made you feel so secure, so warm inside. You knew Vinnie was definitely the one, and you also knew that you wanted him here and now. Without a thought about, you straddled him—much to his surprise. You tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear before attaching your lips to his. As expected, the kiss was better than you ever could’ve imagined. All you could focus on was how amazing his lips felt against yours. It was like they were sculpted for each other. Not to mention, his were so soft, it made you nearly faint at the slightest touch.

His hands gripped your waist tightly, causing you to whimper in pleasure. Your lips then found their way to his cheek, to his jawline, and then ended at the base of his neck. He groaned and moaned, wrapping his muscular arms around your frame. You continued to nip at his neck, all while steadily grinding in his lap.

“Oh my god,” he breathed against your ear. You mentally smiled at this and kept up with what you were doing.

Poor Vinnie felt helpless against you. Never had been with someone who could make him feel the way he felt with you. It was as if he was merely nothing but putty in your hands. And he like it.

He swallowed a large lump in his throat, feeling himself nearing the edge as you proceeded to roll your hips. He couldn’t help it, he knew the longer you worked your magic, the sooner he would burst.

And that’s exactly what he did.

Though, as he practically creamed his drawers, the doorbell rang. You immediately stopped what you were doing and hopped off of Vinnie. To his dismay, he glanced down at the crotch of his jeans to find a small dark spot. With a groan, he tried rubbing his hand against it, hoping the spot would go away.

You were completely oblivious to what was going on with the boy. You had adjusted yourself and then ran to open the door, revealing none other than your grinning parents.

“Mom, dad!?” You squealed as they pulled you into a hug.

Vinnie nearly lost his shit as he heard those names leave your mouth. What the hell could your parents be doing here, especially at this hour of night. “This can’t get any worse,” he thought to himself.

“I thought you guys weren’t coming back until tomorrow?” You said as you led your parents into your living room.

“Well, we were but your father’s job called, and we had to leave earlier than expected.” Your mom spoke. Her eyes went around the room before landing on Vinnie, who now sat cross-legged on your coach. “Y/n, who’s your little friend?” she smiled.

“Oh, this is Vinnie!” You laughed.

Your dad stepped up beside you sticking his hand out at Vinnie. “Y/f/n Y/l/n,” your dad greeted, obviously trying to intimidate Vinnie.

Instead of getting up to shake his hand, Vinnie remained seated with his arm out. The distance between the two wasn’t small enough for him to reach, and knowing your dad, he wasn’t about to move. Once Vinnie figured this out, he retracted his arm and shook his head.

“U-uh, nope. I’m not really a, uh, a handshaker. You know, germaphobe and all of that.” said Vinnie. “I’m sure you guys are uh…tired and worn out from your flight. You should, um, take a seat and…stuff.”

You and your family stared at the boy in confusion for a minute. After a few seconds of awkward silence, your mom took a seat at the end of the couch.

“Germaphobe.” Your dad huffed to himself, sitting next to Vinnie.

You contained your embarrassment—not only for Vinnie, but for yourself—and sat down in the armchair. Vinnie began at attempting to make small talk, hoping that he could still win your parents over, but that was cut short when Mac found his way over to Vinnie. The large dog began sniffing at the stain as if he was smelling a homecooked meal.

“Oh no, Mac.” Vinnie whined.

You and your family watched in bewilderment as the dog proceed to growl during his sniff session.

“Mac.” Your dad said, snapping at him to get his attention.

Trying to push Mac away didn’t help either in Vinnie’s case; Mac was too determined to get to the bottom of what he was smelling. So, doing the only thing he could do, Vinnie stood up onto your couch and stepped over your parents. Reaching the end, he hopped off and turned to look at the frowning couple.

“I, uh…thank you for having me. This has been really great.” He said, turning to look at you. “Goodnight.”

And with that, the boy rushed out of your apartment, nearly tripping over himself along the way. You could do nothing but look at your parents with a worried grin.

“That’s, uh…that’s Vinnie for you.” You chuckled.

[bubblyhoney]

can i request a fic where sapnap takes the reader to his hometown? like the classic going to places he went to when he was younger. maybe playgrounds and ice cream shops idk

places i used to go

warnings: language of course, an allusion to virginap, my uneducated guess of what sapnap was like in highschool, tiny detail of long haired!sapnap, singular canon detail of underage drinking, jokish about marriage

tags: sapnap x gn!reader

words: 2191

A/N: you are a god, anon. i love comfy and nostalgic fics like these and it was so fun to write. if you hate it dont tell me but if you like it lemme know akskdjd

inbox/requests: open

-

The wind whips fast on your bare fingers, cool and quick and raising goosebumps in its wake. You blink in the haze of the early sunset, head lolled to the side of the headrest. It feels good.

“That’s where I went to high school.” Sapnap interrupts your thoughts and points a finger at a collection of tall brick buildings down a side street. The silver of the lettering is dull, but you can still feel the nostalgia.

“And you’re about to see the park that me and my friends used to hang out at after work and—actually, nevermind.” His arm drops to the middle console and he looks straight ahead with slightly pinker cheeks.

“Do what?” You ask, voice all sweet, and a grin grows on your face. You turn towards him and wiggle your eyebrows.

“Nothing. Homework.” He avoids your eye contact and hikes his hand up higher on the steering wheel. “Anyways— Do you want to get some food before we head out? I know a great place.”

You two were just coming to a close on your little trip to visit his family; it was his step-mom’s birthday and you decided to make a week of it. It was your first long-term trip with Sapnap, and also your first time meeting his dad’s side of the family. You were proud to say she loved you. His little sister took a little more effort to talk to you of her own volition, but soon enough she was on your side.

You have a couple hours to kill before making your flight back home, so Sapnap has taken it upon himself to give you a quick tour of his hometown.

“Yeah,” you decide, bottom lip popped out. “Can we get ice cream after?”

“Uh, duh.” The Neighbourhood’s Stargazing starts through the speakers and he reaches to turn it down. “I’m so ready to get home and sleep.” He stretches his neck in his seat, letting out an uncharacteristically inappropriate grunt when his bones pop. You make a disgusted face, nose wrinkling, but stretch your own back, slumping down in the seat. The day had been full of packing up and this horrible hike his dad liked to do early in the mornings, so you two were pretty beat.

“Okay, we’re here,” he announces three sleepy minutes later in his best attempt at a whisper. Lifting your head off of the corner of your seat, you blink in the setting sunlight as a yawn splits your face. “You’re so cute.”

“Shut up,” you mumble, and struggle to get your seatbelt off in that post-nap haze. You’d barely been asleep for thirty seconds, damn it. The air is a swampy heat when you step out of the car onto rocky gravel and nearly twist your ankle climbing over the curb. Sapnap catches you by the lower back, trying to hide his laugh but failing miserably. You slide him a dirty look, smacking his shoulder as hard as you can manage while limping towards the front entrance.

The door jingles when you two breach the doorway, alerting a bored-looking hostess that the circus has arrived. She looks at Sapnap a second longer than she should, eyebrows screwed together in silent confusion. But she leads the two of you to a booth near a large window, handing you sticky menus and promptly fucking right off to the host station. She nearly runs.

“Do you know her?” You ask, inconspicuously hiding your face in the search for their 24/7 breakfast menu. You feel his eyes on you.

“Don’t think so.” He leans on one elbow and slides his phone out of his jeans’ pocket. In the 25 seconds it takes for you to find their french toast and sides menu, he has browsed and closed his phone with an animatedly shocked look on his face.

“What?” You give him a weird look and put down the menu.

“I totally went to homecoming with that girl.” He eyes the hostess. You glance over at her again, meeting her gaze, and offer a polite smile. She turns away quickly, eyes wide.

“She’s cute,” you say, voice high and fake, and he drums his fingers on the tabletop as an amused look makes its way onto his face.

“Are you—?”

“What?” You reply right back.

“Nothing.”

Thank God the server comes up to your table then and starts asking for drink orders, or else you’d have to admit (sheepishly) you were a tiny eensy-weensy bit annoyed. Only a tad. But after requesting a Dr. Pepper and a water the conversation surrounding the nervous-looking hostess dies.

“I’m so hungry I think I feel my stomach shrinking.” You flop your head onto your arm on the table top and make a whiny noise into the stack of napkins your server left at the table. Sapnap rubs his thumb into the side of your forearm, touch warm and nearly dissolving the pangs of hunger and jealousy.

“You weren’t hungry an hour ago.” He lifts your hand to his face and plants a kiss on the back of it. Oh, pulling out the big guns, huh? “I would have made you something.”

You tilt onto your chin, pouting, and stare up at his cute face. His cute, scruffy, perfectly-kissable face.

“I think I got hungry staring at you for half an hour.” A mischievous grin grows on your previously-petulant face and he just shakes his head.

“I do have that effect,” he admits with cockiness in his tone, lifting his eyebrows and leaning back into the booth with his lips pursed.

The server returns with two glasses and takes your food orders onto their little yellow notepad. You chug the water down when they leave for the kitchen, getting your lap and chin thoroughly wet in the process. Sapnap just snorts at you and shoves the napkins your way.

“So,” you start, patting dry your jeans. “tell me what you were like in high school.” You cross your arms and settle into the booth, smirk on your lips.

“What I was like?” He parrots, sipping at his soda, looking thoughtful. “Firstly, a virgin.” You make a noise. Duh. Dude had a buzz cut his junior year. (You’ve seen the pictures. His step-mom particularly likes them.) “Secondly, I was actually— well, I wasn’t popular, but I had a lot of friends. We were all semi-athletic lonely band kids but we had fun. Had one girlfriend senior year but she went to Cal Tech in the fall and I didn’t. I, um, worked at a Dairy Queen in the summers and gained so much weight I had to lose all over again for Unified Track.”

“Relatable,” you comment, drinking noisily at your water. He fiddles with the paper straw wrapper and crunches it up into a ball. It goes soaring into your drink with a quiet “Kobe” and you just give him a look. He smiles toothily right back at you. “Stop being cute, I’m trying to listen to your story.”

“Oh, my bad,” he mocks. “Anyways. That’s what I was like in highschool.” You fish the paper ball out of your water and flick it wetly at his arm. It sticks and you choke on a laugh, cheeks puffed.

Two plates of warm food are set down loudly onto the table and you thank the server with a surprised smile, Sapnap mirroring you.

Two minutes of wordless chewing passes, minds occupied just by “food, me eat” instead of anything related to your previous conversation. You realize that Sapnap is one of the loudest chewers ever, and he realizes that you fail to notice the streak of maple syrup in your hair.

“C’mere,” he mumbles through a mouthful of omelet and hash browns and beckons you with his hand. You lean closer, chewing slowly, as he pats a napkin at the strands of hair trapped in syrup.

“Thanks, baby.” You take the napkin from him and pause your assault of the warm french toast before you to clean the sticky sugar out of your hair. He just watches you, half of a smile on his lips.

You two finish your food in record time. It’s borderline vacuum-like. There’s a short grace period where you just sit like two lazy cats, slumped down in the booth and holding your full stomachs. But the check comes soon after, and you both pay your way and are out of the restaurant without any mad dashes for the bathroom. A miracle, really, because of the American-like amount of butter you both consume.

“I’m a much more functional person now,” you mutter into the cotton of his shoulder, swinging your hand in his. He just hums in agreement.

“I guess we’re not getting ice cream, then,” he teases, and you just groan in response.

“I don’t feel like having diarrhea on a plane, unfortunately.” You sigh heavily when you have to split and get into your respective sides of the rental car.

The entire trip (somewhat roundabout because of the amount of side quests to show you things from his childhood) to the airport Sapnap is a chatterbox. He’s like this when he has sugar: either bouncing off the walls with energy or talking your ear off.

“That’s where my dad proposed to my step-mom. I was kinda young but I remember being surprised at how big the ring was— dude broke the bank for her.” It’s a little gazebo you catch a glimpse of through the trees in a park. It probably was an incredibly picturesque moment, and you can sense how much she must have loved it. With just meeting them this weekend, you can already see how much love those two have for each other.

You hope people can see how much you love Sapnap.

“Oh my God, it’s still there.” He points out the side of your window to what looks like a Dairy Queen that has been through World War 3. “My buddy Eric and I once spilled a gallon of that liquid ice-cream-shit all over the men’s bathroom.”

You shoot him a horrified look. “Why was it in the bathroom?”

He just smirks.

“—And that’s my Uncle Ron’s house. Had my first beer there.”

“And last, hopefully,” you add, pulling a disgusted face. The two story bungalow is cute, and one of your favorite colors: olive green. “That shit is nasty.”

He just shrugs and continues down the side street.

“Is this the park you were talking about?”

He pulls into the gravelly parking lot of a small clearing of tall trees, a picnic table and campfire sat squat in the middle. But he doesn’t respond, just turning the car off and climbing out. He reaches the passenger door without speaking, and opens it for you. You climb carefully out, confused.

“Come on.” He takes your hand and starts for a small path to the left of the picnic table. The mid-sunset shade envelopes the both of you.

“I hope this isn’t where you kill me.”

“No,” he snorts. “I just wanted to show you something.”

It’s just a few moments of stumbling through the damp underbrush before you’re coming face to face with a small, mossy pond that sits right underneath an incredibly old willow tree. He stops right on the edge of the rocky path and turns toward you.

“This your make out spot?” You ask between a grin as he snakes an arm around your waist and tugs you flush to him. Your innocent smile fades when you feel the press of his lips to the side of your neck, light and ticklish. Oh.

“No,” he murmurs, and just breathes you in. “I came here once—the night before I graduated highschool. And I told myself when I really really loved someone I’d take them here with me.” He sways with you in his grasp, a gentle and song-less dance.

You grip his shoulder tighter in your hand and lean into him.

“That’s— awfully romantic, huh?” Your voice is quiet. Almost nervous. He just makes a noise of agreement.

“So here we are.” His voice is the opposite of yours, all strong and confident.

You two just move together for a moment. The sun breaks through the tree canopy, shining bright orange down onto the glassy surface of the pond. Crickets and frogs chirp back and forth as the willow vines swing in a cool evening breeze. You watch nature come alive around you, suddenly grateful for the man in your arms.

“Don’t propose,” you whisper, breaking the gentle tension. A laugh breaks the silence and he’s pulling away to look at you. Maybe in disbelief. A strand of hair falls into his eyes and you brush it away, fingers stilling on his temple and sliding down onto his cheek. Stubble scrapes against the skin of your palm and he stares at you through those meadow eyes.

You realize in that moment that he is exactly himself. Of course he is. He’s Sapnap, and everything that encompasses that. Dark and light and fiery and cool. He always has been, and always will be.

You realize you wouldn’t mind if he proposed.

-

A/N: ask or send me some stuff!! requests, rants, anything. let me know what you think

[idonteven-anymore]

Things I DO NOT want for YR S2:

- Love Triangle(s) I have enough of this shit in general. I’m hoping they won’t because of how well they handled the whole felice/wille thing.

- wille retreating back into silently controlled by the lovely Kristina (his mom) NO. Like I can understand easing into him slowly becoming himself and saying F the monarchy but please don’t let him retreat back. If not what the heck would that look at the end of the last ep be for esp while playing Revolution in the bg.

- Too much angst

WHAT I WANT/Would like:

- initial mutual pining. Can’t be queer without the pining.

- Simon and Wille being happy together at the end. I won’t be able to take them not smiling at each other.

- Simon and Wille talking through their issues. (Def some angst at the start before it comes to this and that I can take.)

- Really want them to still be able to rely and count on each other, that they can still be in each others space and talk... I just want them to keep talking to each other, smiling and still make each other laugh even if it’s just a minor smirk.

- I doubt that they will get back together right away. I think Wilhelm is only just starting his self-discovery journey and he still has a long way to go. I would like this to be the focus for Wille in season two and if along the way, we see them becoming friends and their connection are getting stronger again. Them sharing glances, at least confiding and talking to each other. Simon working through his issues too.

- handholding, hugging, kissing

- Wilhelm seeking therapy because he needs it (or at least something similar I guess) hahahahahh cries

- Wilhelm and Erik flashbacks. Brotherly moments

- MOST IMPT: Wilhelm coming into himself???? Self-discovery? Introspection? I don’t know what’s the term but yes. Simon mentioned Wille needing to find out what he wants but that is the truth. This isn’t just about their relationship or whatever but also how Wille intends to handle his current situation, his family situation and how he will resolve the conflict between those external factors and himself. He struggles so much and it’s understandable given his background but at one point, he needs to be sure of what he wants and at least an idea of where he wants to go from there and unrelentingly steadfast on that instead of catering and giving in to external factors (his mom, the royalty, August, peers aka the society).

- WILHELM slowly but surely standing up for himself against his family and peers. Start a slow revolution. I’m totally down for this.

- FELICE/WILHELM FRIENDSHIP!!!!!

- Malin/Wilhelm bonding ahhahaha (Random I know)

- Girl Friendships (or more). Where my girl gang at (SARA FELICE HOW) (Maddie my love)

- (Stella/Fredricka)? Idk if it will happen but one can dream for more 🌈

- Happy Felice who deserves all good things in life

- FAMILY (SARA/SIMON) at the end of the day, Sara and Simon will always be there for each other. I know this.

- Sara realising she messed up. Her finally admitting her mistakes? She will def have a hard time making up and being forgiven

OR Sara having a plan idk

- Linda/Wilhelm???? Idk. Linda forgiving Wille for hurting her son and giving him a hug cause she knows he needs it????

- Simon meeting Kristina. Simon at the palace.

- Wille’s dad (ludvig is that his name?) approving of Simon or at the very least, Wille’s dad being there for his son cause the mom ain’t currently doing it. Unless she let her motherly side overcome her queenly duties for once. Who knows. If so, family moment would be nice here too.

- 1st year (/2nd year; are they in their 2nd yr?) friendship gang please

- FRIENDSHIPS FRIENDSHIPS FRIENDSHIPS (inc Ayub and Rosh with Simon/the gang)

- I’m hoping they handle the whole Sara/august thing well though

- curious where they’re heading with the August storyline too (but at the same time I don’t want to? I don’t know. He’s an ass and he’s interesting but still an ass and what to do with an ass in your life? Cut them out ahhhh… they are also valid and not obligated to forgive someone who made their lives hell but I would like to see Malte still and august is intriguing and if they are able to turn his character around? Maybe hmmmmm but not necessary at the same time.)

- they’re probably more things I want but i don’t want to go into specifics and overthink. Either way I just them to be safe and happy and together hahahah

- PLEASE PLEASE LET THEM BE HAPPY. ALL OF THEM. (Except maybe august idk. That boy needs therapy too. Let him go for therapy or sth)

- I don’t care if this is the last season (im lying but shhh) but gosh let it have a good and happy end. As long as it has that and then happy, I will accept it even if it’s the last season. I rather it be the last than have damn drag it out for nonsensical drama, etc. 1st season was done so well so I hope this will too. 🤞🏻

[ivysimagines]

Hey, love. 💞 I hope you’re having a WONDERFUL day! Can I request a Blurb w/ JJ x Fem! Reader? The Reader is John B’s younger sister, and it’s the Hot Tub Scene? JJ and the Reader planned on being married in the future. JJ fantasized buying her a gargantuan engagement ring, but the pair acknowledged they wouldn’t be able to afford it. However, alongside the Hot Tub, Generators, and Delivery, he bought her an engagement ring too? Angst w/ Fluff, please? Thank you! 💞

of course I can! sorry it took me a bit to get to this. I’ve had bad allergies n haven’t been in the mood to write. anyways, the scenario isn’t exactly the way it is in the episode but i made it pretty similar.

pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem! Reader

request: above.

warning: mentions of abuse, cussing, angst w/ fluff, and underage drinking.

-

Title: Catch

-

(thoughts are in italics and bold!)

I sit in the backseat of Pope’s truck listening to trees rustling and the tires driving over the old rocky pavement.

They seriously need to get this road redone.

“Guys, this has gotta be done before my scholarship interview in the morning” Pope says.

I roll my eyes.

Will he ever shut up about that?

Like, he’s smart as fuck.

You’ll get a scholarship somewhere.

“Oh my god, Pope” i say, making it clear i’m annoyed.

“What, Y/N?”

“Guys, no fighting” kiara adds while reaching for her seatbelt buckle.

Okay mom.

Pope parks his truck near some trees.

We all unbuckle our seatbelts quickly and hop out.

Pope and Kie are talking about the plan to get the gold.

I hate that John B gets into this shit.

This is exactly how our dad died.

He can’t die or I’ll have no one.

I walk to the back of the truck and slip my phone into my back pocket.

I lean against the truck while Pope and Kie talk.

I shoo away some nats.

“Damn nats” I say as I kill one.

I hear Kie laugh a little.

Suddenly a shit ton of lights come on around us.

We hear a whirring sound.

“What the hell?” Pope says.

I look over to them and back at the lights.

“Who the hell is that?” kie adds.

We all begin walking towards the center of all the lights hoping to find whoever the fuck did this.

I walk behind them and we hear a cork pop.

I cross my arms and nearly trip over a stick.

We stop and I see it’s my boyfriend, JJ Maybank.

“What did you do JJ?” Pope asks him clearly concerned.

JJ smiles a little, “i’ve got a jet going straight in my butt right now.”

“Y’all should get in immediately, you hear me?”

He grabs three glasses and pours the champagne.

I can tell he’s avoiding looking at me.

“Salud!” he says as he raises the champagne.

“How much did this cost?” Pope asks.

I look back and forth between Pope and JJ.

“Uh. well, with the generator, the petrol, and oh, hey, express delivery...uh, i’d say pretty much all of it”

“All of it?”

“Yeah, all of it”

He looks over at me and then back at Pope.

“You spent all of the money in one day?”

“Yeah, burned a hole right through my pocket. But I mean like, come on guys, like, look at this! Finest in jet-based massage therapy, at least that’s what they told me.”

I stare at JJ with a look of disappointment.

JJ looks over to me.

“Babe, what?” JJ asks.

“Can’t a man have a little luxury in his life! C’mon, all this scrimpin’ and scrapin’..i mean like...guys, we- y’know you only live once, right?” JJ says.

I look at Pope and Kie.

“Like, y/n couldn’t you use some fun in your life? You’ve been all down and shit since your-” he stops himself before finishing his sentence.

Asshole.

“Alright, enough of this emotional shit. Get in the cat’s ass. Come on.” he adds.

“In the what?” Kie asks.

“...in the cat’s ass. That’s what i named her” JJ says while looking off to the side.

It’s quiet for a maximum of 3 seconds.

“Oh, hey, yo, i almost forgot-”

JJ reaches forward and flips a switch and it turns on some disco ball.

“Yeah, that’s right, i know. Disco mode, baby” he says.

“Are you kidding me?!” Pope says in an agitated tone.

“You could’ve paid for restitution!” Pope yells.

“Or literally given it to any charity!” Kie adds.

“Or added it to a fucking fund to get the hell out of here!” i yell.

JJ looks right at me.

“Or bought supplies to get the rest of the damn gold out of the well!” (pope)

JJ turns away and rubs his face.

“Okay, well, you know what?” JJ yells.

He stands up revealing purple and red marks on his stomach.

All these different thoughts began racing through my mind and I could feel my heartbeat speeding up.

Oh my god.

He said things were getting better at home.

...i’m gonna kill that motherfucker.

How can he do that shit to his own fucking kid?

Maybe it’s a good thing my mom dipped and my dad’s dead.

“I didn’t do that!” JJ yells.

“I got a hot tub! For my friends- you know what? No, screw friends. I got a hot tub for my family!”

I look at him and tears start forming.

He looks over to me.

“And, I got something especially for you” he says as he reaches into his swim trunks pocket.

I look at him and he pulls out something small.

“Catch” (JJ)

I open my hands and catch a ring in my hand.

I take a look at it.

It’s not just any ring.

It’s a gargantuan engagement ring.

Holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit

I look up at him.

“JJ…”

It’s silent for a few seconds.

I walk over to the hot tub and step on the ladder.

I get inside with him as he rants about ‘everything being fine’.

I pull him into a tight hug.

He starts crying into me.

“I love you” i whisper into his ear.

I rub his back.

It’s quiet as we hug.

Kie and Pope get in with us and we all hug JJ.

“I just wanna do the right thing and I thought-” he says.

“We know, we know. It’s okay, love” i say.

After a few minutes JJ calms down and Pope and Kie leave us.

*now sitting on the edge of the hot tub talking to JJ*

I mess with the ring in my fingers.

“JJ...I don't need some fancy ring” i say.

“I know, but I wanted such an..important ring to be nice”

I look over at him.

“So, this is an engagement ring?”

He smiles at me and nods.

“I know we’re still teenagers and...obviously you can’t exactly get parental consent. Plus, John B would totally kill me if we got married this young. But, we can still be engaged.” he says.

I smile at him and look back down.

“You know, you haven’t asked me”

He sighs and laughs softly.

He takes the ring from out of my hand and looks at me.

“Alright, Y/N Routledge, will you make me literally the happiest man in the world and marry me in a few years?”

I smile at him and bite my lip a little.

“Definitely, one thousand percent”

He smiles and grabs my left hand softly.

He slips the ring onto my ring finger and then places his hand on my face.

We kiss a couple times before I pull away.

I look at the ring on my finger.

Holy shit.

I’m like...engaged now.

What the fuck?

I contain my excitement and just smile.

“So, we could get married when we turn 18...or whenever using our share of the 400 mil and then get the fuck out of here. Away from the obx, away from the pogue bullshit, just...everything” he says.

I stare at him for a few seconds.

“Okay, as long as we can get a dog”

He smiles and nods.

“Named willow?”

“Of course, whatever you want” he says.

I smile at him and we kiss again.

We continue our night together and eventually head to my house.

-

Hope you enjoy!

Once again, request whatever you would like.

I will also be experimenting with thing like ‘dating ___ would include…’ (i love those types of things lmao)

I might start writing a lot for atypical since i’ve gone back into my atypical phase (13rw as well but idk if ima write for that series or not).

Thanks for readinggg!

Upload schedule:

Monday @ 10 am (EST)

Wednesday @ 3 pm (EST)

Friday @ 8 pm (EST)

There may be random uploads here and there.

If you request something I will upload it on one of those days.

BYEEE <33

[puphee]

Hi ceb, well idk how to start but...i don't know do u even relize that u as a writer are already make a ton of people happy and forgot about their life problem, idk about anyone else but for me, u did. I have a lot of life problem and im pretty sure a lot of people has it too, but lately my problem just getting more shitty, i got deppresed b'cause i got rejected from university that im applying to, my mom always talk shit about me, the pressure that my dad put on my shoulder for beeing the 1st child in the family and need to be succes, so when he's die i can take care of my brother and sister, lonely feeling that kills me slowly b'cause i dont really have a friend, my bestfriend move to another land the one who really care about me just gone, even tho we still interact through chatting but it feels different. Ifeel so tired for all of that, sometimes i just want to gave up and just die, sinking into my pain, nothing really convience me to stay breathing untill this day except the work that u did, when im read ur masterpiece i feel healed, im happy, it feels like im living a new life inside ur story, so i hope u proud about ur self, and keep ur spirit for writing bcause of that without u even relize u already keep one body still breathing untill today, u keep one soul happy, u make someone stand strong. Sometimes i feel so sad when one of my favorite writer closed their blog 'cause i'll think "Where i can find another happines again?" So i hope u will always be here, and please be proud about ur self, i love you from the deepest side of my heart ♡

-Leviathan

I have two responses I'd like to give to you, and I hope they are still nice and light-hearted enough to convey how I feel in depth about your words.

Response one:

Omg I literally as I was reading I could feel my expression changing, like my smile was slowly growing throughout reading this and I'm really honoured that you think of me and my work so highly. I'm glad I can bring you happiness while everything else is stressful for you. I understand where you are, I'm also the oldest in my family, however I get the feeling out family situations are drastically different. Despite that, I totally understand the pressure you feel as the oldest. Being the one who has to ALWAYS set the good example for the younger ones and it feels like you're literally not allowed to mess up once, like everyone you love will be disappointed in you if you do. It's a really stressful position to be in, when you're the Oldest sibling. I understand the tension between you and your mother, as well. Although, again, I think like our family dynamics are widely different, I can understand the pain she causes you by being (for lack of a better word) a total bitch to you. My mom and I have had our fair share of fights, I even stopped calling her mom at one point. She said some very nasty things about me that, although we've made up, still hurt to this day. In a typical family, at least what you see portrayed in most movies and cartoons, your mother is supposed to be nurturing, guiding and, if you're a daughter, your best friend. I couldn't have that relationship with my mother, either, and I still don't have that kind of relationship with my own. I understand how upsetting that can be, and I really feel for you. I want you to know how proud I am of you, despite technically being a complete stranger to you. I want you to know that you are so loved and cherished, despite your brain probably telling you otherwise. I believe in you, I do. If you ever feel the need to rant or vent about your day or if you just want someone to give you some probably-not-comepletely-realistic-advice, feel free to come to me. I know it's not my responsibility, but I want you to know my intentions of being a safe person for you are still there.

Response two:

As I said in response one, I totally get where you're coming from, and I really appreciate that you enjoy my content and feel safe enough with me to talk about these things with me. I'm really honored to receive such praise. However, it is a little uncomfortable. I feel like you're placing me on a pedestal, deeming me of greater quality that I actually am. From the way you worded that you are so sad when your fave writers close their blogs and you feel you have to search for happiness again, it sounds like you are very dependent on constant content and consistency. I think I worded that incorrectly, but again, it's 1am, and I have yet to take my medication lol. I don't mean to say this in a way that sounds rude or mean or anything, I promise you that, but one day, I'm going to close my blog, too. Of course I have no intention of doing so any time soon, but it's a likely outcome. Most tumblr writers I've been friends with or have followed had gotten tired of their work or things outside of tumblr happening that made them close their blogs or leave for a really really long time. There are a lot of things us writers have to deal with just like you do. We could be in the same stressful positions, which could lead us to feeling so stressed or unmotivated or unhappy that our hobby, that sometimes seems like a job, no longer brings us satisfaction or joy. Sometimes things like that happen. It happens to all of us. Even our idols, our friends, our family, our acquaintances. It happens. It's not something we can control. The way you have worded this makes me feel an uncomfortable sense of responsibility that I shouldn't have to feel. I think you should search for more than just my fanfiction to bring you happiness. Maybe pick up a new hobby, find a program or community you feel welcomed enough to meet new people and make new friends. Maybe reach out to old friends to see if you can spark those friendships back up again. Maybe just take a few days to relax and take care of yourself. Find something, anything, other than me and my work to find you happiness. Of course, I would still love to be a source of happiness and comfort to you, it's really what I strive to do with my online presence. But I don't want to do that all on my own. I don't want to be exclusively the only person who can make you happy. Maybe it's my commitment issues talking, but that just makes me really uncomfortable. And again, I mean this to sound as light-hearted and friendly as possible while also letting you know seriously how I feel. I want my responses to feel really genuine, because I promise, I mean all of this genuinely and truly. I'll still be here, but I'd like you to find another thing that makes you happy, so I'm not all alone in being your favourite. I really appreciate you telling me all of this and how you felt. I genuinely and truly am grateful for your praise and good thoughts, however undeserving I may be at times. I care for you just as much as I do my other followers, and I always want to be some sort of a safe haven for you.

I hope what I said was understandable and didnt come off as bratty/rude/or insensitive. I mean all of this from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for supporting me the way you do. Your love means a lot to me.