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sweetienans · 9 months ago

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Lonesome || R. Cameron

Summary

"What are you going to do with all the money?" Rafe followed you to the store that he didn't even know it was there. Stores in the cut were a new world to him.

"What are you talking about? I don't have any money" You said grabbing some apples and peaches.

"I know you do, or you will do" He reached your lower back trying to gain your attention but you slapped his hands out of it.

"Don't touch me. Rafe I swear to god I don't know what are you talking about. Are you high or something?" You tried to look to his eyes to see if they were dilated but they were the normal blue and tinted green as always.

"I heard my dad talking with one of his lawyers yesterday" he looked straight to your eyes to try to see if you were lying to him. You weren't. "Your mother is dead, and she left you all of her wealth"

Nothing ever happened. No gold, no cross, no El Dorado. Everything followed the normal course. Except for you. Your mother died, not that you actually care. She never raised you. She never appeared until now when apparently she was rich and left you all of it. You didn't want to know anything about the money even though you needed it. And if it wasn't for Rafe, you wouldn't even check the numbers on your bank account. He has a plan, a plan that he would do anything to achieve even if he has to use you.

Pairing: Rafe cameron x reader.

Warnings: use/mention of alcohol, mention of drugs, smut eventually but will be labeled. Violence (jj's father) Ward is still a bad father. 18+ MDNI!

wc: idk

see Pt. 1

Pt.2

You paced through your room all night. Going back and forth with your phone in your hand. What would you do? That was a huge amount of money in your bank account but in a way it didn’t feel like it was yours. You would like to be in another situation where you were mourning your near passed mom but there you were, keeping something you deserved all your life but you were never given. It kinda sucked. And it sucked more than you had to know it because of Rafe.

You fell asleep near four in the morning and didn’t wake up until 1pm where you felt the door slightly slamming in the entry clicking shut right after.

“Hey sweetie” your dad peaked through your open door. His clothes were all muddy and had traces of dirt in his head. “I’m sorry I disappeared”

On a normal day you would scold him for not even calling but right now you had a turmoil in your stomach that you couldn’t bear.

“It’s okay, I’m glad you’re here” you said laying on your side. He nodded and then left you to yourself again, the sound of the shower being on sounded above your thoughts.

You were quickly to take your phone and start typing the news to JJ but when you were writing the text you started wondering, was it a good idea? Would you even keep the money? you deleted it and instead wrote a ‘hope you have a good day with John B’ message.

You scrolled through your socials, incapable of thinking in getting up when a text from Sarah popped up.

‘Kook party in the night, you coming?’ Meet me at Tannyhill so we can go together’

It wasn’t a lie that you were considered one of the good pogues, you were good friends with Sarah Cameron, Rafe’s sister and even his friends were good to you. You didn’t understand why but you were always invited and welcomed in their parties.

You thought about the party and decided that it was a good idea to show up, to clear your mind and do normal teenage stuff before having to worry about the elephant in the room. Telling your dad, telling your friends that in the span of night to morning you were practically a new Kook. It wasn’t your fault.

You went to the shower and dressed up to go with Sarah. She didn’t give you much information about the party so you decided to put on a yellow sundress that had the neck v-shaped and your white snickers. You put on some makeup, basically tons of blush, mascara and gloss and went to your dad’s room to tell him that you were going out.

He was face down in his mattress sleeping like he never slept in his life. You decided to leave a note that you knew he wouldn’t read.

You left your house closed and walked the rocky path to the main street that was basically a highway. Your car wasn’t functioning so you made all your trips walking, it was a long way to Tannyhill but you didn’t mind.

The gates of Tannyhill opened in front of your figure. The house was massive, it was the biggest house in figure eight all because of Ward’s effort. Something to look up to, to be honest.

“Girl! you look amazing” Sarah appeared hanging from the side of the porch’s door. “I just have to do my makeup and we can get going, did you walk all the way from your house to here?” she asked, giving you a side hug.

“Yeah, it’s part of my exercise routine,” you said sarcastically. “My car broke down again so the legs had to do the job”

“That’s awful, you want a glass of water?” She didn’t even wait for your answer to reach one of the glasses in the higher cabinet above the sink just to fill it with water.

“Thanks” you said following the blonde to her room. You’ve been up there many times. Sarah was your best friend, beside JJ, the boys and Kie, even though the latter didn’t understand why. “So, where’s this party? Topper 's again?”

“Oh no, after we left last week, some punks wrote shit on the living room walls, his mom got furious with him,” Sarah explained, putting some eyeliner in the corner of her eyes.

“Did they know who did it?”

“Mm no, I mean, there were only Topper’s friends” she just shrugged and turned around to face you. “What do you think?” She said giving you a full look of her outfit and makeup.

“What can I say of the Kook Princess?” you said, rolling your eyes. “You look gorgeous, Topper is going to die when he sees you”

She made a subtle grin but her eyes darted away like she was hiding something. You would ask, eventually.

When Sarah parked her car, you expected a good looking house, not a beach with a bonfire on it. You made a mental note to never forget your cardigan again.

“Pogue style?” You asked to make her shiver. She hated the tumultuous fight between pogues and kooks, and you could understand why, but most people couldn’t.

“Topper house is out of the party market, Kelce’s family from California is staying in his house for the weekend and well Tannyhill is just unapproachable when dad and Rose are there” She explained locking up the car and walking through the sand.

You walked to her side, waving some familiar faces together but keep walking until you made your way to Topper.

“Hey pretty ladies” he said in a smug tone kissing Sarah’s cheek. “I thought you wouldn't make it” he said fetching some red solo cups and filling them with beer (the expensive one)

The difference between pogue beach parties was clearly the cheap beer and that the cops would show up eventually in the night. This was a private beach and people could do what they pleased without having to worry about being incarcerated.

“Thanks” you said to Topper receiving the cup and downing half of it in one gulp. You needed it, you needed the fun and to keep things out of your mind for a while.

“Easy” Topper said in a surprised warning. “There’s plenty more”

“Leave her alone, I’m the one driving anyway” Sarah said pouring her beer in your glass.

The party went without any problems. People were dancing, some of them were making out and Sarah was nowhere to be seen. You were sitting in a big log beside the fire when a guy that you have never seen sat by your side.

“Hey” he said in a charming way. You cringed on the inside but nodded anyway to his side. “I’m new here, what’s your name?” He scooted over the log and pressed his thigh to yours, completely invading your personal space.

That must've been the worst way to flirt with anyone. You took a sip from your drink and cleared your voice to reject him in a nice way.

“I’m-

“Not interested”

You turned around to his voice. Rafe's tall figure lingered above yours stepping and blocking the light from the fire making him look terrifying.

“She’s definitely out of your reach so why don’t you go somewhere else” he said waving his hand to the guy and urging him to leave your side.

You had a new feeling in your stomach, like the beer was settling in wrong.

“I got it under control” you said watching him walk and take the seat of the guy. He was wearing a long sleeved shirt, those that are white and had the sleeves in another color, this was green and his cap was backwards making him look more handsome than he already was.

“Yeah, I can tell” He said, taking your cup from your hands and gulping all the content down. “What about we talk business?

“Jesus” you muttered under your breath and prepared yourself to lift but before you could do the push he circulated his hand around your wrist. “What did I tell you yesterday? I’m not interested”

“I know you received the money” he said looking straight into your eyes, there was no way to deny it. He always had like a sixth sense. “And I also know that you don’t know what to do with it”

“Look, spending it on coke so you can double the amount it’s not a good idea to me to be honest” you said plainly.

“You are not giving me a chance” He said like he was hurt because of your words.

“I don’t even know you Rafe”

“You’ve been Sarah’s friend for a while, you know me enough”

“You just said it, Sarah’s friend, not yours” you specified.

“That hurt” he put one of his hands on his chest and you rolled your eyes. “I thought you had feelings but this..

“Please, cut the bullshit” You were done and ready to leave.

“Just invest with me and I promise you won't regret it” he said pleading, puppy eyes and all.

“Invest with you? or invest in you?” you crossed your arms. “Because for why I understand in the first you have to put money too”

“I’ll do it if that makes you feel safe” He answered like it was nothing.

“You are something else Rafe Cameron, but no, I won’t, I don’t trust you” you took your cup from his hands and left him all alone with the words between his lips. He wasn’t going to give up so easily.

Rafe Cameron was a man of his word and mind. If he had an idea (even a bad one) he would do anything to reach it and make it true. He needed the money to seal a deal with Barry and Ward got him on a leash lately, cutting him loose, so he had nothing, just the two dollars that you threw at him in the store the other day.

He was going to convince you but apparently not tonight, because even though you had been right, you weren’t even friends with him, telling him that you didn’t trust him broke something on the inside, so he drank, and drank and drank until he couldn’t even get on his feet.

“Have you seen Sarah?” you asked one of the girls that was dropped in her knees grabbing his friends hair so she can puke.

“No, go away!” she yelled at you and you thought that you deserved it, bad time to ask.

This wasn’t the first time that you’ve lost Sarah in a party, she would usually sneak around with Topper but she would always pick you up later. Right now, her car wasn’t in the spot she parked and there were no Topper or Sarah in sight.

You kept walking around the cars, looking for someone familiar to give you a ride but you didn’t know any of them. You were about to call JJ for backup knowing very well that he will get angry at you for coming to this party when you saw Rafe leaned against his car trying to get inside.

“You gotta be kidding me” you said, grabbing his shoulders to make his eyes snap open. “Have you lost your mind? you can’t drive this way”

His disoriented eyes, alcohol breath and languid body said that he was more than wasted. He couldn’t even keep his eyes open to look at you. You searched for his keys that were in his hand and snatched it.

“I’m going to drive okay?” you said wiggling the keys in front of his head. “I need you to lean on me so I can open the door and get you inside, Rafe”

“Am I dreaming?” he murmured in your shoulder while you put one of his arms behind your shoulders to keep him steady on his feet. “This is much more of what I asked”

“Tell me about it” you said, manhandling him towards the passenger seat. “How did you end up like this, honestly the booze wasn’t even that good” you talked more to yourself than to him, he was a pure excuse of a man in that state.

“My heart is broken” he said while looking at you with his eyes half opened while you stretched yourself to put his seatbelt on.

“I changed my mind, I don’t want to know Rafe,” you said, closing his door and walking to the driver’s side.

“Then don’t ask stupid questions” he said pouting and crossing his arms over his chest the moment you closed your door.

You were good to drive and the way to Tannyhill wasn’t even that long, you would crash in Sarah’s bed and leave in the morning when the sun rises .

“Invest with me please” he mumbled. You thought that he would’ve fallen asleep if you didn’t talk but he didn't. He was partially awake and ready to keep pushing it.

“I’m not gonna, I already told you, drop it” you said turning to the road that leads to figure eight.

“No, no, wait” he said, grabbing the steering wheel with one hand and turning to the opposite direction.

He hit the curve in the road and one of the cars that were passing by almost crashed against a light pole. “Fuck Rafe! Don’t do that again!” you said pressing the brake and parking on the side. “I was going to drop you at your place, what’s your problem?”

“Let’s go to yours, my dad doesn’t want me there” he said, starting the car again urging you to start driving, giving you zero options.

“What about Kelce’s or Topper’s?” you asked, finding an option that wasn’t your house, even though it was pretty convenient to you to be in your place and having no need to walk back from someone's house.

“Topper is with my sister I don’t fucking care where and Kelce’s house is crowded, you can leave me with Barry if you want” he said closing his eyes again.

You knew better than going to Barry’s. The man sold drugs to JJ's father and he was constantly hanging there, so, if he saw you there with Rafe, JJ and your father would know and they won’t stop asking for the truth.

You were against a wall, figuratively speaking. No choice at all.

“Fine, let’s go to my place”

author's note: Rafe is coming babyyy. I'm excited, i'm not going to lie. Let me know that you think.

Taglist: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @haruvalentine4321

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe outer banks #rafe obx #rafe x reader #rafe cameron #obx rafe cameron #rafe cameron x smut #obx fic #rafe imagine #outer banks

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kafka-ohdear · 10 months ago

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hello duck :D since i just came back from a grocery run 💀😭 for brenny and dougley post war or modern au (whatever) what's your thoughts on them going shopping for groceries?? i mean of course dougley is the old married coupleᵀᴹ type and brenny would take meatball with them for sure (yes unfortunately this is exactly what i was thinking when I went for groceries 💀💀)

idk what kind of coincidence is this but my mom just asked me to get some groceries when i was answering this ask 😭

!!!!! alright you got me when you hit send this ask 😈

tw: long ass and random post about my headcanons for them 😭,,,

for dougley, i think it's like:

- blakely pays. of course.

- blakely is (un)surprisingly good at choosing fruits & vegetables etc, and he is like a professional yk. he has everything planned out and follows the exact list. nothing more, nothing less.

- dougie? that man doesn't know what is a shopping list. he likes something, he'll buy it.

- maybe i'm delulu rn but i think dougie can literally buy anything (mostly candies and random stuff) because: one, he doesm't meed to pay under any circumstances; two, blakely likes to see him smiles when he gets his favourite treats.

- okay. the neckerchief. based on the fact that blakely handles grocery runs very well, i'm convinced that dougie has tried at least once to tie the neckerchief onto blakely's head in the babushka style (idk im sorry about my poor vocabulary 💀💀,,,).

- blakely didn't resist him doing so, but he's already working on the plot of his revenge on dougie (yes i'm talking about the "coquette" bow 💀...).

- the kids in the supermarket/grocery store likes them (😭 idk because blakely has the grandpa aura to me,,, and dougie surely loves playing with kids) so whenever the kids see them doing grocery, they'd wave at the couple and talk to them.

- blakely does most of the things, and dougie will help him with smaller stuff like putting the groceries into their vehicle or help him carry some of them back home.

- dougie would steal some of the treats or some random stuff when blakely is unpacking the bags, which usually is blakely's.

- blakely knows but he wouldn't say a thing but plots on his great revenge mission instead

and in my mind brenny would be like:

- they certainly would bring their child aka meatball along with them whenever they are going out for groceries.

- they have zero clue what to buy for their meals and end up taking loads of random stuff back home.

- brady like canned meat. demarco doesn't. they argue over the problem that demarco throws up whenever he smells canned meat, but brady always wins and gets to buy some because their beloved meatball likes canned meat as well.

- brenny is the kind of couple would buy ice cream or other small treats after getting groceries.

- hmmm i have a feeling they might take a walk around (somewhere near there idk,,,) so meatball could enjoy some fresh air before going home.

- BTW ABOUT THE CLOTHING. i think brady would dress kinda??? like a fashion icon??? and demarco would wear clothes like some random ass guy with white t-shirt and black shorts with some slippers,,,

- demarco packs & unpacks things for almost all the time while brady uses entertaining meatball as an excuse.

- demarco doesn't mind because he loves seeing his two favourite person (i kinda feel like he would refer to them as "creatures" to tease brady 💀) happy together,,,

i'm really sorry for this long ass post and shitty headcanons but 😭😭😭 i hope you like them,,,

#dougley #james douglass #everett blakely #i'm so in love with them #brenny #😭😭😭😭😭#john brady #bernard demarco #demarcooo #mota #masters of the air #the duck answering stuffs #nuh uh imagine demarco wearing dép tổ ong.....

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eds6ngel · 2 years ago

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Hi! Can you do Steve and fem!reader sad/angsty fic? Maybe like king Steve cheated on her in high school and then years later they meet again and she’s engaged and he wants her back?? Idk if that made sense but I love your writing!

of course my love! i actually made this even more heartbreaking than you requested, so i hope that’s okay with you :)

warnings: fem!reader. swearing. cheating. mentions of smut (but no actual smut). talks of engagement. talks of children. hurt. angst. no happy ending [1.1k].

He knew he messed up. Cheating on the girl of his dreams to keep some stupid high school reputation back in ‘83 was up there as one of the dumbest mistakes of his life.

You and Steve were together for a mere three months in the Summer of ‘83. It started off as a simple hook up, which eventually lead to more. You even admitted that you loved each other.

And for the most part, it was true. Steve truly did love you, but, with a growing popularity at Hawkins High, he let that aspect of his life take over his personality.

You were not one to adhere to the crowds. The closest societal group that you could be associated with were The Nerds. But, even then, you did not hang out with that clique.

You stayed in your own lane. So, when Steve started to encourage you to hang out with him, Tommy and Carol a lot more than your group of friends, you were anything but willing.

Which led to the great heartbreak of your life. A heartbreak so bad that you didn’t date anyone for the rest of your high school career in fear of getting hurt again.

Your unwillingness to adhere to Steve’s rulebook lead to him cheating on you with Nancy Wheeler. You actually felt bad for Nancy, knowing that like you, she was more of the quiet type. Although, unlike you, much easier to manipulate.

It didn’t surprise you that a year later Nancy also proceeded to break up with Steve, leaving him in the dark once again to try and find a new girlfriend in Hawkins to control.

You attended college in New York, Columbia University to be exact, thankful to move away from the hellhole that was Hawkins for the rest of your life.

But, your parents still lived here, so that meant you did come back occasionally to spend holidays with them. Just like today.

Christmas of ‘92 was planned to be spent in Hawkins, you spending the previous Christmas in Colorado.

Your mom had asked you to pick up a movie from Family Video, the store still located in the same place from when you went as a teenager. The same design too.

Entering the store, the bell rings above your head, signalling your entrance as you walk up to the counter, leaning against it and waiting patiently.

A few seconds later, a very familiar face bounces out from the backroom.

“Hey, welcome to Family Video! How can I help—“ Steve freezes as he sees you, his ex-girlfriend, standing in front of him. Your hair was pulled back in a claw grip, curtain bangs framing your face perfectly. A thick black turtleneck, a fluffy material, sitting nicely on your body as you wear minimal make-up. He could’ve sworn New York had made you even more beautiful.

You cough, “Hey, Steve… How are you?”

Why couldn’t Robin have been on shift today? Steve scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, “Yeah, yeah… I’m fine. How are you? How’s New York?”

You smile softly, “New York is great, thank you. I’m back in town for Christmas though. Can’t leave my parents in the dark for too long,” you laugh.

He chuckles along shyly, “Yeah, it’s good that you’re back. How long are you staying here for?”

“Only a week. I’d love to stay longer by my fiancé has to get back to New York for work by New Years.”

Fiancé. Of course you had a fiancé. It’s you. The most breathtaking woman on Earth. Of course another guy had snatched you up. Why would you want to date him again after all the shit he’d put you through anyway?

“Oh… Fiancé,” he replies, trying not to let the disappointment show, “Well, congratulations…”

But, you noticed it, he was the worst at hiding his emotions, it’s how you found out he cheated in the first place. “Thank you…”

There was an uncomfortable silence, before the sound of crashing VHS tapes came from around the corner.

You click your tongue as a young girl, looking almost identical to you, trots around the corner. She looks innocently up at you, twiddling her thumbs as she has a soft expression on her face.

You shake your head, softly laughing as you say, “What happened, baby?”

“I wanted Home Awone, but all the tapes fell down,” she says disappointedly, saddened that she couldn’t get the VHS herself.

“It’s okay baby, c’mere,” you say, lifting her up onto your hip and pressing a soft kiss to her cheek as you walk over to the fallen pile of tapes, neatly stacking them back on the shelf.

You show her the ‘Home Alone’ tape again, asking her, “This the one you want, baby?”

She nods, holding the VHS in her hands, “Yes please, Momma!” she squeals, beaming as her eyes light up.

Momma. You had a kid?

“‘Home Alone’ it is then, baby!” you say, placing your daughter back on the floor. “Go up to the counter and ask to rent it then.”

She giggles, running up to the front and stretching to place the tape on the counter. “This one pwease!”

Steve stands there in shock for a moment, connecting all the dots on how far you had moved on with your life in comparison to him. He was still working a shitty job at a VHS store whilst you lived in New York with your fiancé and daughter. And he was still pining over you. His life was truly a mess.

He smiles through the sting of pain, “Of course! You want it on your mom’s account, right?”

“If you don’t mind,” you reply, picking up your daughter once more so she can watch in fascination at the transaction going ahead.

After Steve rings up the tape, he gives it back to you, looking down to where you had a hand wrapped around your daughter’s waist, hoisting her up on your hip. There it was: an engagement ring.

“There you go,” he smiles.

“Thank you, Steve,” you say, “I’ll see you around, maybe?”

He nods, softly laughing to himself, “Yeah… See you around.”

The sound of the bell ringing again signals your exit as he watches you place your daughter in the back of your car, before you get in the front and drive out of the parking lot.

He was going to ask you out again. A stupid assumption made that you were single. Why would a 25 year old gorgeous woman like you be in the same shitty position he was? You had everything going for you: the looks, the personality, the sweetness and undeniable kindness. Everything made for the perfect partner. Whereas him? He was stuck living in a run-down one bedroom in his hometown whilst he desperately tries to find a girlfriend.

You were living the perfect life, he was living his own nightmare. You were never made for each other, and he should’ve known that.

sorry for the lack of happy ending! i hope this is close to what you wished for <3

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington angst #steve harrington hurt #steve harrington

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pjo-obsessed-nerd · 11 months ago

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sometimes valentines day really sucks lmfao i was talking to a guy 2 weeks ago, we made plans to go on a coffee date, and see a movie, and then he ghosted me. i had to go to dillons for my dad, running on 2 hours of sleep, already overstimulated, and walked into a crowd of 20 ppl all around the florist stall (which is directly in the way of our pharmacy, my destination), and then a guy came up and stood less than an inch from my back to reach for a flower that was behind my shoulder, so i started panicking. When i tried to leave, more people had come in so i literally could not get to the front doors without touching over 3 ppl at once. I literally ran out of the store crying because i was freaking out and people were staring at me. On top of that, we had no food at home that i can eat without making a fiver person meal, so i went hungry. i made brownies, burned the tops while simultaneously making the bottoms too liquidy to taste any good, let alone be safe to eat. when i went to vent to my mom, instead of being sympathetic and saying it would get better (what i needed/wanted to hear) she told me to stop bitching about it. For dinner, we had tortallini, which is normally amazing, but the tomato sauce literally made my mouth itch (Which is something i only experience when i eat citrusy foods, and im allergic to citrus, but this feeling was 10x worse), and my paycheck dropped just in time for me to get a meal from wendys before going to work on another 2 hours of sleep. The 3rd book of the series im reading (Newsflesh Trilogy by Mira Grant, it's zombies, conspiracy, journalism, tiniest bit of romance but i would die for Shaun and Bekks to kiss just one more time, go check it out if that sounds cool to u) won't be here for another week after i finished the second one on a major cliffhanger, and i haven't written anything in nearly a month. the times tamps of my book says as much. Also, i'm single, all my friends have boyfriends or girlfriends, and every guy or girl i talk to ghosts me after learning i have adhd/am working on a autism diagnosis. that, and my friends are lowkey ignoring me. on valentines day of all days, so the one group of people i'm supposed to be able to talk to when my life gets shitty the same way they talk to me when their lives get shitty have just been ignoring me for like, a week. idk what to do, cus im torn between punching a wall and curling into a ball so tight that i just POP out of existence. Anyway, sorry for the rant. if you read this far, i appreciate and love you <3

#valentines day #today sucks #newsflesh #mira grant #failing as a writer?#single on valentines day #mental health #mental illness #mentally fucked

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purplesurveys · 2 years ago

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1682

When was the last time you wore eyeshadow? Idk, maybe a month ago. I’ll occasionally borrow my sister’s makeup and dabble with her eyeshadow, but I don’t use it every time I put on makeup. Only when I’m in the mood and time for it.

What is your favorite color eyeshadow to wear? I largely use nude shades but sometimes I’ll feel a little bolder and use purple.

Which gas station in your town do you think has the best snacks? I don’t buy snacks from gas stations. I just think food from them are dirty, even if they’re packed and even if they’re in the comfort of a convenience store lol.

Would you rather work with animals or work with children? Eh both can be pretty tricky but I think I’d pick the animals. With kids, I’d probably lose my cool in like half an hour.

Would you rather work with children or work with teenagers? Ew, but kids.

What is the most frustrating health issues you've been dealing with recently? For the first time in forever I’ve got a cold – the Full Package™ at that – so I’ve got a cold, dry cough, and a sore throat (which I initially thought was just a side effect of my vaping...until the soreness lasted a day). I feel like I’m terrifying people every time I let a cough out so that sucks too lol.

Do you own a pair of red pants? More burgundy than red, but sure.

Would you rather watch a movie, watch a TV show, or watch a YouTube video? YouTube video!

When was the last time you walked outside barefoot? A month ago when I was playing a prank on my mom.

What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? 🍷 Long Island Iced Teaaaaaaaaaa. That, or peach soju.

Do you like the taste of wine? 🍷 No. I’d drink it socially but I’ll be faking my pleasure the entire time because wine for me has just never tasted good.

Do you like the taste of beer? 🍺 No, that’s even worse. At least wine isn’t fizzy haha.

Do you like the taste of vodka? I never drink it straight but it’s fine when mixed with other alcohol or like juices.

Have you ever taken a jello shot? Nopes.

Would you say you are more spiritual or more sexual? Sexual, if anything. I’m really neither though.

What is one unpopular opinion that you have? I don’t believe in forgiving.

Do you think you look good in yellow? Mustard yellow sure, but I avoid all other shades of yellow not just because of personal preference but because I also think the others don’t suit me well.

What was the last type of cookie you ate? 🍪 It was like a healthy-ish apple cinnamon oatmeal cookie. Bea gave it to me before I went on That Hike that killed me.

When was the last time you had a cookie? 🍪 I had that ^ at the end of April.

When was the last time you had a donut? 🍩 IT’S BEEN SO LONG I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER AND I HATE THAT.

Have you ever planted sunflowers? 🌻 No.

What is your favorite thing about growing older? Being able to call the shots on your own life. The independence from “what are my parents gonna say?” “what are people going to think” is just really freeing, especially in a country and culture where older people think they can dictate your fate. I think a perfect example is the fact that I was able to plan out my Thailand trip on my own and informing my parents instead of asking permission.

How old will you turn on your next birthday? I will be 26.

What is your favorite type of frosting for a cake? Chocolate or peanut butter.

Which department store do you shop at the most? I don’t really shop at department stores.

Where do you buy most of your clothes from? Shopee is the key.

Who in your family has been in the military? My maternal great-grandfather.

Have you ever volunteered at a homeless shelter, and if yes, what was your experience there like? Did you enjoy it? Would you want to do it again? I’ve never.

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kalyri · 2 years ago

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Yet another “I suddenly remembered” from me—after midnight when my brain just decides to randomly go off on its own, wandering through memories.

This one’s got transphobia and I hate it.

I was a trucker for the last four years of my life, and during my… second year? I think? Yeah, I was in my automatic instead of the manual. Anyway, I’d worked all day, probably close to 10 hours driving so like a 12 hour work day. Pretty typical of my mid to late work week at the time.

And I wanna say I was in Alabama. I could probably tell you exactly where this Pilot was, but I’ll leave that out. Anyway, I was exhausted, I was hungry, and I really had to pee, so I went into the bathroom. And I tended to sit in there for a good long while because walking the half a mile from my truck to the store to pee wasn’t something I wanted to do more than twice in a night. So I’m sitting there and I’m not paying attention to anything, people come in and leave. It’s a bathroom, most people are in there for 1 of 2 things.

Well, suddenly someone’s banging on my door. I make a noise, like mm? And she says something but I don’t fucking know what it was, I’m hard of hearing. So I ask her to repeat it and she says it again, but still not loud enough and I said “I don’t know” or something. Idk. I had no idea why she was knocking on stall door, there were like 4 stalls and I was the only one in there before she came in.

So I think nothing of it, but she’s being loud with her children—what I assumed were two boys at the time. She leaves soon after and then maybe five minutes later someone else comes in and pounds on the door and asks me a question. I ask him to repeat it and he does: “what’s your gender?” In more words than that, but you could tell he was uncomfortable. And I asked him why? He said he just needed me to answer and then like the bottom dropped out from under me. Because I could simply answer what he wants to hear—but I instead say “why does it matter? I’m using the toilet.” And he tries to get me to answer again, I don’t and he sighs and leaves.

And I continue scrolling like Facebook or tumblr or ao3 or whatever and then I think about it—I’m in Alabama… they could call the cops on me, lol. So I say fuck it, wash my hands, and leave. And I can feel eyes on me. The ladies behind the check out counter—my plan of getting McDonald’s goes out the window and I leave through the trucker entrance. And I call my mom. Because I’m shaking.

This lady knew nothing about me, but made an assumption based on the only thing she could see—my work boots. And then made another assumption on the only thing she knew—the pitch of my voice, which isn’t high on a normal day, and definitely wasn’t that night because at the end of a long work day, the last thing I want to do is mask for strangers. So I don’t.

I’m non-binary. Visibly not feminine, but not exactly masculine. I was wearing jeans, tshirt, and my work boots—which just looked like low-rise hiking boots because my feet are weird and I can’t wear calf high footwear.

Like it doesn’t surprise me that it happened. Some people are just hateful and refuse to mind their own business. But it’s so much different when it happens to you. And I was reminded of that just a few minutes ago because my brain just likes to throw random memories at me for no reason some days and today it was that one.

I made a point of avoiding that truck stop for at least a month afterwards. There’s a few more on that stretch of interstate that are better anyway…

#kaly's being a dumbass #transphobia

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smollobsession · 8 months ago

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Posted 27.5.

Start of the month:

Met with P in Telč. The weather was terrible :D but I had good svičkova and a good talk with my friend! I also picked up some albums she's been wanting to get rid of, and I'll pass them on to my kids who want them! woo!

As I was on the bus to get there, I passed the "pretty bridge" again and I decided to finally find it and check out the view. I was right, it's amazing! I then went on to Chodov for some more cinnabuns :D

On Sunday I went to Hlavni, thought I'd play some pogo. Honestly not many good raids but I did one and I finished a few researches so ok. I had a YUMMY pancake with ice cream.

6.5. Considering doing this

7.5. I had the most productive morning wow. first of all, i slept i think 9h so wow to that! Made and filled pancakes for C's bday, packed them up nice with skz stickers :D caught up on met gala skz gossip :D made lunch (sandwich and smoothie) bought rice and made breakfast (i researched this morning and apparently potatoes are also bad for ibs. all starches except bland ass white rice are, so, white rice it is) did most of the dishes so it's not a whole mess.

i still have pancakes left over so that's tomorrow sorted :D

i'm following what's happening in Palestine and getting ready for this week's protest. :/

but in the process i was on fb again and found this bit of typical internet discourse

8.5.

:( onigiri class for adults is full. the lady hasn't contacted me about meeting. and yesterday i made pancakes for a new friend but it turned out we weren't able to meet and my class pissed me off so i just ate the pancakes.

i'll give it till the end of this week and then i'll contact the lady asking to maybe only speak online, if meeting is too hard.

talked to my dad about this new job idea and he's enthusiasic. his idea is that if i'm looking for a bridge job, i might as well look for one in the general area (family) of they company i'd like to work for. he said oil rigs have a similar system. they are called differently tho which makes my search even more complicated.

idk why, when i talk to others about this, it seems so possible, but when i'm in my own head, it seems like a silly dream.

meanwhile, pogo gave me 2 more useless 4 stars :D i mean yay i'm happy with my collection but truly every pokemon i use and want to be good is meh :D

the animation before i could catch the diancie was fun :) but the diancie also has trash stats lol.

hello sir mr vegas sir... afterglow you say? O.O

in completely opposite news, i guess i'm happy someone put this up, even if clearly someone was Very Upset it was up.

it's nice to know that despite it all, there are SOME czech people who care.

OMG SOMEONE IS USING THE ESIM I BOUGHT!

12.5. They used a bit more!

The lady I wanted to talk to about work has rejected me. I guess my next stop is reddit :D

I had Korean on Friday and it was excellent! I then went to the agency that someone recommended to talk about potential job offers in my city and they were like "uh you should send us an email" which YEP i knew it (i tried but it got spammed).

Yesterday sure was a day. It was my mom's 11 years dethiversary. I had a weird ass dream about her of course.

I made a very hopeful meal plan for the rest of the month... fingers crossed. then went shopping for it. I also went to balkan store to get sweets for my kids, but I'll have to do more today bcs they didn't have my faves. Went to Flora to do some of my Korean HW - I have too much lol - and had a cake for breakfast... not the healthiest of choices but I was starving by that point because I didn't have breakfast at home. Saw C and said hi :D Then had a phonecall with D.

I hoped to see Aurora Borealis last night so I went to sleep early. I just slept until midnight, went out to see if anything was there - saw the city was oddly lively at midnight - didn't see AB, went back to sleep. Got a solid 9-10h last night thanks to this :D

There's a protest today, I'm getting ready and I shaved my legs :D priorities! :D

wore a dress and open sandals, no regrets, it was perfect for the weather, especially with the hat and the mask.

on my way to the protest i was on a bus and a man reached over and gave me a flower. i was confused but my kids reminded me it's mother's day!

some of them are going to the rammstein concert so the chat is buzzing :D (in the city i also saw hockey fans so wow so much stuff happening here now)

it was a good protest overall, though i felt like there were maybe fewer people than last time. sadly when we arrived there was a small group of pro isr protesters waiting for us (with cops between us, no issue) and a lady had a massive panic attack, it was kinda scary. ambulance came and helped her and i think it all ended up ok.

I went to the other balkan market later and got a burek and the rest of the sweets i want to share.

then i went to flora again to finish my homework. and have one more cake hehe

rip my feetsies :D

meanwhile... two things i'm considering. a) swimming in the local pool once a week. idk yet i'm so scared to try but :/ i want to? b) tmi but there's a big sxtoy store near the balkan market and i'm considering a toy. we'll see. honestly i'm far more concerned about the swimming... being perceived half naked is uh :(

and on a totally different note, i asked on reddit about the job and yeah... i think it's not for me. sadly. ah well.

18.5. hm so far all my attempts to socialize have been destroyed, i wonder why :D telc was good but rainy and i ended up being 1h late. my local friend wasn't in for pancakes. last week i made plans for pub quiz and then i locked my card by typing in the wrong number 3 times as i was trying to withdraw ca$h for the quiz master. Sigh. Even the fun lesson i planned with that one class ended up being with only half of us!

Now I joned a pogo group for bounsweet community day... let's see if i manage ><

some other adventures have been happening tho! I managed to try corncob - why sweet? and i found a taiyaki place that i really like!

yesterday before korean (since i had to leave early to unblock my card......) i was bored and it was raining so i found myself in the small botanical garden which currently has a succulents exhibit.

I did buy a smol one :) and it inspired me to clean my plants too so i did some of that yesterday and today.

After Korean I ended up at the Nepalese Indian place and had a great lunch. Omg their food is so good sob.

In fandom news, Jeff is in Sweden. I'm fine.

And this vid of Khao by First just melted me. Sometimes when people take pictures or even draw people they love you can just see how they see them and it's wonderful.

And I made plans with P for next weekend! I'm exciteeed!

It's spring here and plants are pretty <3

21.5. I've exercised 3 days in a row so that's nice.

On Sunday i did go to the center to meet up with the pogo group i follow on discord. i managed to speak to absolutely no one and even the pic we took hasn't been posted so there's like 0 evidence i was there. well, i got some codes from the leader so that. sigh, i'm so bad at this.

i got my period and bled all over everything again, despite a tampon and a pad. so now i'm washing all my sheets and protectors. happy tuesday to me.

27.5. last Thursday I joined the Pub Quiz group and had a good time and wasn't totally useless. Just got another confirmation I should have more faith in myself.

Evaluations sent and I'm slowly wrapping up the school year. (Omg today I talked to S*'s mom and I was so awkward lorde why am I like thissss aaaa)

Ugh ANYWAY. This weekend P visited! We did some good (and some mid :D ) food tasting, went to a medieval fair and visited the castle!

When she left, I got on a tram and spent an hour just traveling and reading. I'm reading Natsume's book of friend's finally and I still love it as much as I did originally. Such an underrated manga.

Did my homework in a cafe and had some cake :) and then did my shopping for the week.

Wednesday will be my last Full Day at work. It's really hard saying bye to some of the kids. sG said today that he'll continue if I'm not the teacher. He will be really busy and he would have made time for me but now he's not sure. I almost wept yo. Teens.

PS. I tried a new form where I write more often and keep it in a draft. I like it... but I wonder if it'll post without errors hahaha

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kcalsforhim · 27 days ago

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˖⋆࿐໋ monday 17th of december

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i forgot to weigh myself this day as well, but it really wasn’t that relevant… anyways. i woke up late again around 12:00-13:00 and i started my morning with my dad texting me… ill drop the texts below

i provided some translations.. well i went downstairs feeling very nervous… i decided i probably shouldn’t obsessively weigh my food or log it extensively so when i give the cal estimate it is a overestimation tbh…

when i was plating up my food he really made me nervous by being like “put more put more ! atleast 5-6” and “how much do you weigh ?” and when i said i didn’t know, he insisted i go to weigh myself. he then kept saying stuff like “you should’ve put more toppings” and “you used to be able to eat 5-6 of them” which makes sense cause i used to be in the bmi30’s and now im in the bmi17’s … it was just all very triggering. i still chose to eat downstairs to not arouse too much suspicion, although this did lead to me HAVING to finish my food… sigh

to preface, i fasted for 37 hours and 30 mins ! was pretty proud of this… usually i fast around 20-25 hours per meal nowadays but ofc since i skipped daytime eating the day before i got a pretty long fast in ^^

lunch omad :

3 pancakes, 2 with chocolate spread topping, one of those having a lotus cookie crumbled in, and 1 with strawberry jam —— some rice, idk how much, and 2 sausages. also a glass of water cause i did not want to drink any liquid cals . oh and cucumbers with greek yogurt

cals : 881

the cals were pretty terrible, but my dad is extremely pushy and he has a past of being emotionally abusive to a degree… he body shamed me DAILY when i was fat and now he’s seeing the consequences of his actions… my “eating disorder” was born from him and his words… i’ll be honest, if it was my choice, i would not have more than 2 pancakes, maybe even one, i would’ve kept fasting for longer, but i felt kind of backed into a corner

i was actually really afraid he’d make me eat more, but after i finished up i actually felt so full i could puke and my mom said i don’t need to force myself to eat if im genuinely not hungry which made me feel relief.

my dad said “he should eat atleast 2 more pancakes with dinner” something like this and i shook my head in silence, my mom said “nooo he can have them tommorow” and my dad said “tommorow is too late” almost as if to trigger my old binge eating habits

(i used to binge a lot because MY food in the fridge would always dissapear and just not be available for later consumption and i’d just get really scared and honestly greedy too…)

anyways i went back up feeling sick, i just didn’t do much of anything untill maybe 6-7 pm when i asked my mom to go to the store with me.. so we walk to the nearby store together cause i planned to get energy drinks for the next day (thank you past me)

i got 4 energy drinks for the next day, and my mom also got me more shampoo since i ran out of my one and had been using her in the times i would be showering.. she also got me 2 face cleansers since i use a specific one that doesn’t irritate my very sensitive thin ass eyelids i always slap lots of makeup and eyeliner and LASHGLUE ON (recently less guys im healing)… i also got a milkis drink and let her try it. sigh on the walk back home i felt dizzy and all but i honestly think its cause i smoke so much lol. i smoke on these walks with my mom

afterwards i got home and i called eli feeling tired. we talked a bit, then i drew for a little bit, not that long, then i started getting really hungry so i took sleeping pills at 9 pm.. i drew some more and by 10-11 pm i felt so tired i just put on my headphones and went to sleep… my scarred arm started swelling a bit today also and leaking ewwwwww but its fine its just healing. im so glad i’ve kept up my omad streak for quite a bit now im so so proud of myself tbh….

total cals : 881

total steps : n.v.t (35 min walk with mom !)

this song is very cool hehehe it reminds me of just… drawing and story writing and cool stories… just cool vibes.

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bandit-heart · 1 year ago

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Somehow, my feed on multiple platforms has turned into all the cute slow-living, cottagecore type things I was really into when I was in my early 20s. I ventured so far from that in my last relationship. And the weird thing is, it started like that. We went on bike rides in the evenings, we would get coffee together or shop local record stores. He helped me pick out my record player. After we started working two jobs a piece, we would order a pizza together every Friday. I thought this was the person I would be with for the rest of my life. Then we both changed as people. He started drinking and smoking and that "home" feeling started to slip away. Now he didn't want to do anything that would take away from him getting to drink or get high. We would get out of the house so he could feel like he did something before getting too buzzed to leave the house again. It makes me sad sometimes. I spend five years with this person. I prayed for at least the last year we together, maybe longer, for this relationship to being taken from me. For ending it to be taken out of my hands. And so it soured and festered until it felt so foreign to me that when pushed just a little too much, I ended it. I only regret not ending it sooner. The person I'm talking to now is sweet and good and when things are flowing well between us, I feel like the person I always wanted to be. But he can be sort of unavailable. I want to be with him, but I don't feel like he's as invested as he sometimes seems to be. Idk. Maybe I should end it. Or just focus on myself. It feels so easy to let him take the lead between us, which actually seems to be something he wants. When on my own, I am again the hardest working person I know. I am self-sufficient and strong. I am a woman who doesn't need a man, and chooses someone just because I want him. I forget that sometimes. He wants me to take time off this year at the same time as him, but I don't really see the point. It's not like I feel we'll spend any of that time together. He's off on my birthday. He could see me, but I don't see him planning to. I sort of use my birthday to measure how much a guy cares about me. Does he make some kind of effort? Is he going to forget or wait so long to plan to do anything that he's like, "YOU plan something and I'll fit you into my schedule." Or does he get excited because it's a day to do something nice for me, to make it feel special? The way that I feel when I get to celebrate someone. I don't need a big celebration, but maybe think to get me a cake or take me to a movie or something. Just acknowledge that it's day that is special to you because I am special to you. This year I want to send my mom flowers on my birthday. She used to tell me how sad it made her that I never did anything for my birthday. She and my grandma are the only two people in the world who consistently celebrate my birthday. Maybe doing something nice for them will feel better. It's a tradition I want to start. Honoring my mom on my birthday. She should know how much I appreciate her.

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okcoolthanks · 7 months ago

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Yeah screw it im explaining

I don’t have a lot of physical pictures but the ones I do are pretty important, I have a few from my grandma with my mom and her and her husband in them and I have one from a day we went to a boardwalk and we went to a Hard Rock Cafe

I’d never been in one before but it was cool I got like tiny pizza slices. But we were there because my mom had tickets to an aquarium and she asked me and my brother if we wanted to bring anyone with us and I remembered that G hadn’t been to an aquarium before so I asked her if she wanted to come with

She got really exited and the day that we went was really fun. I didn’t spend money so I had a Bit of savings (over a hundred dollars) and usually offered to pay for stuff (like there was a ring in a store that I still see pretty frequently online that had a fairy on it. It really fit her and she got it herself despite me saying I could pay lol)

Anyways at that Hard Rock Cafe they asked to take pictures of us, my brother asked his girlfriend to go with him and they got a rlly cute picture, and then they asked me me and G wanted one. I was anxious about my picture being taken at the time so I was a little worried at how it’d turn out. I didn’t even know Why they took our picture I think it’s because those are like special or smth idk I don’t know the culture around shit like that. My mom said that she was fine paying if we wanted a physical picture and my brother and his gf were like “yeah” so we got physical print outs and G was curious what ours looked like. I was mostly scared. I didn’t know what my hair looked like and I didn’t want to think about my appearance

When we got it. Yeah ok I looked weird. I put the mask on right before and my smile looked weird anyways (I don’t think I’m rlly good at it) and my hair was completely covering one of my eye brows and was about to fall into my glasses and I had a blue jacket that was probably not washed in weeks but beside me was G who had a really pretty black dress on with red flowers and some sort of jacket, I forget but I don’t want to check. And she was also smiling. Thinking back on it I don’t think she wanted to be around me as much as she said she did so I’m not sure if it’s a real one or not. When we got them back my brother was all happy because they put a little heart filter over his and his gfs and our mom got a picture of all five of us and when me and G got ours I wanted to be funny and poke fun at how I looked because come on if I had a black jacket on or anything I’d look emo or smth. So I was like “haha wow I look weird” and she said back “what? You look really cute! If anything I looked weird” and I didn’t think a lot of it because people give their friends compliments but I also had like a crush on her at the time so my brother told me that I blushed really red.

After that we walked around the board walk pointing out things in shops and watching a comedy juggling group (?) do a performance. She told me that she hated the smell of the seals so we didn’t go over to them and we sat next to the water and she told me about how when she was younger she and her friends at her grandmas house would dig around in the mud at a lake there and she would find really pretty jewelry and like cool rocks and bones and stuff. She said that usually her and her friends would spend a few days in the summer there and she could show me if I wanted and I didn’t know if we had plans then (we did but that’s a different story that ended up. Interesting) we also went to this store that had a lot of fairy themed things in it and it was really pretty and smelled like incense and she showed me some dolls that she said she had a few of when she was younger (the same place where we got the ring I mentioned earlier) and after that we went on a merry go round because she said she hadn’t been on one in years so she let me pay that time (I offered too many times to pay for shit that day. Look I didn’t have friends for three years before that and I had over a hundred dollars it’s not like I was gonna spend it on other shit) and I got a a little anxious so I started pointing out things about the carousel like the paintings on it and the other seats and I got to the things we were on

They’re usually horses but this one had a lot of different animals, she had a dragon and I didn’t really care so I sat on the one next to her and it was a black and white pig. And to be funny I started a fake argument about which was cooler hers or mine and one of the points I made was “yeah well mine is a real animal!” And she said that dragons were real they were flying all around us we just couldn’t see them. And I wanted to believe her so much. I wanted to believe that we were really friends I wanted to believe that it wasn’t gonna end and I wasn’t gonna end up wanting to throw up every time I walked past her I wanted to believe what happened for three years wasn’t gonna happen again I really really wanted to believe it wasn’t gonna end in the shittiest way it could.

Someone kill me I woke up way earlier than I should’ve and I have a sad lyric stuck in my head

#I didn’t end up going to her grandmas house. we went to the desert at that time and before that I told her over text that I had a crush on #her and asked her out on a date. I’d never been that worried for a text in my life. she declined obviously and I was fine with that!#after asking I always asked if I was making her uncomfortable being around her (she said we were fine as just friends and I agreed) and she #said I didn’t. she later admitted when we had that argument that she felt like I wouldn’t leave her alone and actually got in her space a l #(she didn’t tell me I didn’t know I really was trying to make sure I didn’t make her or anyone uncomfortable by being around them but I did #anyways yeah I couldn’t go on the trip. but I asked her right before that would’ve started so I was worried she’d tell the others #I still don’t know if she did

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cyncerity · 2 years ago

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Hiiiiii Cyn!!!

Ok for your store shifted au, since you said you have a lot of info I’d like to know:

A character you want/plan to add to the story.

A random head canon you don’t know how to add but really like

If it hasn’t been said(because I forget lol) how Tommy and Tubbo met?

How the dream team met

If Dream and Wilbur’s rivalry is going to result in a certain reveal at all👀

And basically just ramble about anything you’d like to share because I want more store shifted info :3

Thanks and have a lollipop 🍭

OK THANK YOU FOR ALL THE QUESTIONS BECKYYY

Ok so the character i’m really trying to add rn is George. I wanna write something about him and his lore without giving too much away, cause y’all don’t know much about him. Some people have sent guesses based on the whole thing i wrote about Dream’s childhood best friend “Gogy” and his current long-distance boyfriend (and i’m gonna re-write that cause i wrote it before i decided on some very significant plot stuff like the language barrier so i wanna make that make more sense), but very few people have figured it out yet 👀

At some point i’m gonna write about how borrower colonies work in this au, cause that will hopefully become important later, especially since there’s some new characters to introduce that don’t live at the store.

And Tommy and Tubbo! They’ve known each other since they were toddlers. Tubbo was abandoned in a house when he was little and Tommy’s parents were never home much with their work, so they found each other pretty quickly. Since they were both pretty little they didn’t think much of it, Tubbo didn’t have the “humans are bad and will kill you” mindset and Tommy didn’t have the “i need to trap the tiny person and figure out what it is” mentality. Both of them met and basically went “oh my god friend :D” and they’ve been inseparable ever since. They grew especially closer after Tommy’s incident that turned him into a shifter. Tubbo helped him learn how to handle being small and how to get around.

Ok so this is kinda getting into spoilers, so i’ll just say the Dream team have all met each other, but never at the same time and they don’t know they all know each other 👀

I guess for Wilbur and Dream, maybe? I’m very tempted to have Quackity accidentally be revealed and for Wil to use him and threaten him to get what he wants from Dream, cause, like, angst, but Q already has his shenanigans with Foolish that i haven’t talked much about so idk, but certainly maybe.

Also if there was anything i wanted to ramble about it would probably be employees of each store. Dream’s store is a little shop opened by his mom, who’s now retired. He’s the manager, Punz is the assistant manager cause Foolish didn’t want to be, and Ponk is their pharmacist. I don’t know who else I want to work for the store, cause there are not enough people, especially compared to Wilbur’s.

Wilbur’s store is a small drug store-like shop that doubles as a restaurant. It has some outdoor seating but mainly just uses the back corner of the store as a drive through. Wilbur is the manager, Niki is the assistant manager, and also Ranboo’s older sister and guardian. Jack and Fundy work there as well and are usually in charge of the restaurant portion, even if Ranboo and Tommy almost never listen to them. Tubbo especially likes to knock things off shelf’s to hit them. Also needless to say Tommy and Ranboo work there.

Btw all of those are subject to change if i feel like it since they don’t really add plot, i just think it would be funny. I may add Hannah, Eret, Callahan, Shubble and Schlatt but idk yet. If i did i’d definitely need to put some in Dream’s store.

so ig if any of you have suggestions for characters for the stores lmk! and if you’re going “wait what about this person they seem like kinda an obvious choice?” they’re probably in the au already and you just don’t know lol

#thank you for the ask and the lollipop!!#always amazing to get asks from you Becky #ty <333 #cyncerity #mcyt g/t #mcyt gt #store shifter au

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makeste · 4 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 299: No Chains Left

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “and then AFO broke out all of the inmates from six other prisons and took a nap. well anyways, here’s the hospital angst.” Kacchan woke up two days later and was all, “WAIT BUT HOW ARE DEKU AND TODOROKI AND ALL OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS EXCEPT IIDA DOING” and then we cut to Shouto’s room where the other U.A. kids were sitting around being Mutually Traumatized and giving each other moral support and such. Everyone was alll, “...”, and then the rest of the Todofam showed up, INCLUDING POSSIBLY REI?! which, omg. The chapter ended with Kacchan STOMPING THROUGH THE HALLS all “WHADDYA MEAN DEKU HASN’T WOKEN UP YET”, dragging along Satou and Mineta behind him, fueled by the power of ALL OF THE FUCKS HE NOW GIVES. He gives so many fucks now you guys. This boy cares so much he can probably deduct it on his taxes.

Today on BnHA: SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO GIVE A LOT OF FUCKS, the story cuts abruptly to Hawks, freshly recovering from his near-death experience, and pondering the threads that have weaved the tapestry of his life and led him to this moment. Basically he grew up in poverty with his Jerk Dad and Jerk Mom until his dad got arrested one day and his mom sent him off to go Find Money Or Something, and so he rescued a busload of people and found himself a new career. Back in the present day, Hawks and Jeanist ride around town in Jeanist’s Jamborghini having awkward encounters with civilians in a country on the brink of social collapse, and visiting Hawks’s mother’s home. Hawks is all “I know from an outsider’s perspective it must look like my life currently sucks, but now that the HPSC is gone, my public image is shot, and my parents are finally out of my life, I’m actually feeling SURPRISINGLY GOOD.” Anyway so he’s gonna go meet up with Endeavor now, and p.s. this chapter was fucking fantastic though, damn.

oh my god?? is this Hawks narration?? something about him growing up watching the heroes on TV and thinking of them as fictional characters

okay I scrolled down a little bit more to see the rest of that “Keigo” panel, and wow

this is basically a shed. poor boy definitely grew up rough. let me tell you guys, I came in here ready for some BakuDeku shenanigans; I was not prepared for Hawks Flashback Angst. I AM HERE FOR IT, but also wow I gotta brace myself now lol

HELLO MISTER HAWKS’S JERK DAD, SIR

BnHA sure does have an array of Jerk Dads, doesn’t it. makes me appreciate characters like Masaru and JirouDad all the more for bucking the trend

anyway. so Horikoshi, you really thought that one itty bitty chapter of hospital catharsis would be enough to calm us all before you went right back to showing us child abuse huh. my god man can we rest

BABY HAWKS

swear to god this kid can’t be more than five or six, and yet he has this completely blank look on his face even with his dad looming over him being all threatening and shit. like he’s shut down his emotions to protect himself. imagine what has to happen to a child for him to have learned this at such a young age. fuck

AND MEANWHILE THIS GUY

don’t mingle with humans?? not “other” humans, just humans?? what is this implying here?? and also holy shit Hawks definitely didn’t inherit his looks from his dad orz

then again he doesn’t really bear much of a resemblance to his strung-out mom here either

omg omg omg. and this child is basically trapped here in this environment with these two people. this explains a SHITLOAD about Hawks’s personality though you guys. his ability to completely separate his real thoughts from the face he presents to the outside world. his pragmatic approach to analyzing and solving problems. his layers of emotional walls. turns out almost none of that came from the HPSC training -- that was all learned hands-on in his own personal do-or-die survival nightmare childhood!! oh, boy

and small wonder then that he latched on to Endeavor so strongly if he really is the one who brought down his dad and inadvertently saved him from this. also, just putting this out there, I know people are always talking about him and Dabi being foils, and I think it’s very interesting how Touya grew up in a household where he saw firsthand the dark side of hero society, and so ended up becoming a villain in order to bring it down. whereas young Keigo had almost the exact opposite experience, growing up experiencing the dark side of villain society and becoming a hero in order to bring about a world where no one else has to experience that. just. both of them are so determined not to become their fathers. some interesting parallels there

so Hawks was sort of an accident after his parents had “thanks for helping me not get caught after I killed that guy” sex, and now this little boy is growing up in squalor and being beaten by his father for things like Sitting In The Wrong Out-Of-The-Way Corner Trying Not To Be A Bother To Anybody. holy fuck. this is so rough to read through you guys

wait so does Jerk Dad have a an eyeball manipulation quirk?? because he doesn’t have the wings like his son, but wth are these things??

this presumably also means that Keigo has never been to school or anything either. he basically doesn’t exist. he thinks heroes are fictional characters, he doesn’t realize that they’re real people. these are people who could help him if he could escape and find them, but he doesn’t know, and they don’t know about him

OH MY GOD HE’S JUST SITTING IN HIS CORNER HUGGLING HIS ENDEAVOR PLUSH OH MY GOD

how could this child possibly have an anti-fandom when he’s done NOTHING WRONG HIS ENTIRE LIFE. huh. just explain that to me. lol I mean I’m not looking to pick a fight with anyone, but also, MAYBE I AM, idk?? this kid has gotten me all riled up lmao

anyways, Protect Keigo 2021, and thank you Horikoshi for these three very terrible pages. I am pleased to inform you that you’ve effectively gotten your point across and you may now commence saving this kid already

YAY

oh no, Keigo’s dumbass jerk dad tried to steal a car and the popo nabbed his ass and now his mom can’t just sit around neglecting her VERY YOUNG SON all day long, oh horrors. sorry lady my tiny violin is on backorder. just imagine that I’m playing a very sarcastic song on it for you

anyway so what are you gonna do now, abandon him? I can hardly imagine he’d be worse off, if anything it might be a near-instant improvement

LMAO HE’S ALL “WAIT WHAT ENDEAVOR’S A REAL FUCKING DUDE?!”

AND THEY SAY THAT A HERO CAN SAVE US~~~~ I’M NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND WAAAAAIT~~~~~ I’LL HOLD ONTO THE WINGS OF THE EAGLES, WATCH AS WE ALL FLY AWAAAAAAY~~~~

lol what a randomly pivotal moment in his young life. TIME TO GO MAKE THESE MEMES INTO DREAMS YOUNG ONE

anyway so his mom freaked out and grabbed him and they wound up at a train station with her TELLING HIM TO GO GET HER SOME MONEY, oh my god. SURE MOM LEMME JUST WALTZ RIGHT ON DOWN TO THE “JOBS FOR FIVE-YEAR-OLDS” STORE AND TELL THEM I NEED SOME CASH. ffff manifesting someone to come help him in 3... 2...

...

SIGH, JUST GO RESCUE THE PEOPLE FROM THE BUS, KEIGO. is this the outfit he was wearing when that happened?? it must be, right?? I can’t imagine them surviving more than a couple days out here unless this starts getting REALLY dark in a way I know that even Horikoshi won’t explore, so yeah. cut to the HPSC now please. never thought we’d be glad to see them. I mean sure, it may be an “out of the frying pan...” case, but good god

THANK YOU!!

and I guess it was his mom’s eyeball quirk then. anyway, whatever, see you again never, hopefully. lol oh man. thaaaat, was upsetting. need to center myself here for a sec. NAMASTE

OH YAY THE PRESENT

so we cut from Baby Hawks Angst straight to Present Day Hawks Angst, huh. not that this exhausted and traumatized lil lad isn’t still a baby to me too, I’ll have you know

BEST JEANIST, ALWAYS WITH THE JOKES

“WHEW, THOUGHT YOU DIED ON ME FOR A SEC THERE KID.” lmao. Caleb will no doubt ruin this by making his word choice all stiffly formal as usual, so I’m just going to treasure this “WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, I’M FRESH OUT OF FUCKS” version of Jeanist while I can

look at him, driving his Jeanistmobile

again, is it any wonder Kacchan was bitching about Endeavor’s dinky little car when he was used to riding around town in style like this. anyone else staring at this panel trying to figure out how this car is somehow secretly made of jeans

NOOOOO

FUCK YOU DABI LMAO. PUTTING THESE VOICE ACTORS OUT OF A JOB ONE BY ONE

anyway so Jeanist is all “GOOD THING IT’S THE FUTURE AND WE’RE SO GOOD AT MEDICAL SCIENCE” to handwave how Hawks went from one step shy of being a very handsome corpse, to sitting around texting Jeanist in a car all of two days later

OH MY GOD, AND FINALLY AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS

wait a minute. I’m so confused lmfao. soooo, was Hawks all “anyway, here’s Jeanist’s dead body, you can examine it but please don’t look at him too closely and also I’m gonna need that back unharmed.” how tf did you pull that off lmao

(ETA: also isn’t this technically confirmation of the ol’ Noumu Jeanist theory lol. I’m gonna go ahead and say it is.)

NO BUT PLEASE, CONTINUE. I unironically love reading Horikoshi’s overly convoluted “SEE IT’S NOT A PLOT HOLE” explanations

lkldslfk so wait, you’re telling me Hawks convinced Dabi and the League to put Jeanist’s body in storage, and basically just hoped they wouldn’t use him for any experiments until he could put his plan into action and have the HPSC’s people break in and find and revive him?? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG. A FOOLPROOF PLAN IF I’VE EVER HEARD ONE

fff this man really asked Jeanist to risk it all to prop up his little cover story, and Jeanist was all “sure why not” omfg. anyways, thanks for recapping all of this out loud for no particular reason in your car conversation you two

LMAO NOW WHAT

TROUBLE YOU SAY? GOOD THING THE NEW NUMBER ONE HERO IS ON THE JOB THEN

okay no it’s just some random thugs strolling around terrorizing the downtown. fuck ‘em. so Jeanist is making short work of them now

uh oh

won’t come? not can’t, but won’t?? what???

WOW

well I guess that makes the local heroes A BUNCH OF SHITHEADS now doesn’t it?? jesus

and okay, serious question, if the cops are spread too thin and the heroes have literally walked out on the job, what exactly is stopping everyone from deciding to use their quirks to defend themselves, legal or not? nothing, as far as I can tell. society just got a hell of a lot more chaotic

anyway so this is an interesting panel here

man, Dabi really did pull it off, didn’t he. well anyway so here’s that better world all of the villains were wanting, you guys! isn’t it so great?? everyone’s terrified and angry and losing hope and society is inches away from collapsing into total anarchy! but hey, at least we exposed the number one hero as a hypocrite

anyway so what are these guys up to

fucking hell, he’s visiting his mom. I really wasn’t prepared to commit this much emotional energy towards reading this chapter today. BUT VERY WELL, WE PRESS ON

?? wait she’s not there?

is this supposed to explain how Dabi knew who Hawks really was? except that there’s the little matter of how he even know where to find his mother in the first place. feels like we’re still missing something there, but oh well

OH MY GOD

RHA I TAKE BACK EVERY WORD I EVER SPOKE AGAINST YOU. YOU ARE A SCANLATION GROUP FILLED WITH ANGELS LMAO. I WILL TAKE THIS PANEL IN MY HANDS, AND TREASURE IT AND KEEP IT SAFE

ANYWAY, BECAUSE MY TIRED BIRD SON’S LIFE SUCKED SO MUCH ALREADY, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY PLEASED WITH THIS NEW TURN OF EVENTS LOL HOW ABOUT THAT

GOOD FOR YOU BBY. YOU GO OUT THERE AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON

and in all seriousness, I love that identity he chooses -- chooses, because it actually is him making a choice now, possibly for the very first time in his life -- is “guy who helps people”, though. it really is nothing short of miraculous that he held on to that kind of optimism and desire to do good even with everything he’s been through. there were so many times he could have chosen to turn his back on the world in retaliation for the way it treated him. but he didn’t!! and here he is now, finally free, and what he wants to do with the rest of his life now is simply to help others. anyway please excuse me for a moment, I need to go find some sort of basket or a big vase to put all of my fresh new Hawks Feels in, pardonne-moi

YEAH BOIIIIII

“FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS, MISTER JEANIST, WHERE DID YOU FIND YOUSELF THAT SWEETASS CAR.” hey, all I’m saying is if this boy’s wings really aren’t growing back, he’s gonna need to find himself a new means of transportation y’know?

oh my god you guys it’s a flashback to his mom buying him the Endeavor plushie when he was like two because, and I quote, ALL MIGHT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE

oh my god oh my god. my boy out here with a new lease on life finding hope in the darkest of times

wasn’t your throat supposed to be all fucked up lmao. Horikoshi was suddenly all “oh shit the VAs are gonna be pissed at me if I keep this up huh”

“that’s why Bubaigawara was such a great guy” motherfucker IT IS A TERRIBLE DAY FOR RAIN. FORECAST SAID NOTHING ABOUT THIS

:’)

yes ma’am. yes indeed. confirmed, I really will straight up fight some motherfuckers for this child. well not really, but YOU KEEP YOUR DISCOURSE OFF MY LAWN AND OUT OF MY BLOG YOU HEAR. THIS IS A HAWKS-FRIENDLY SPACE. WE RESPECT TAKAMI KEIGO IN THESE STREETS

and he’s saying (or is he thinking?? what a weirdly shaped speech bubble this is) that even if what Dabi said about the Todoroki household is true, “I’m not sure it’s the same now.” which happens to be ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. man this whole chapter really is all about saying “fuck the past” and moving forward and I am living for it

SON!!!!

“the first step is at my beginning” fklkjlk. what an iconic fucking line??

AND HIS WINGS!!!! THEY ACTUALLY ARE GROWING BACK AHHHHHHH. “PUT A RAINCHECK ON THAT CAR, JEANIST-SAN.” THE HAWKSMOBILE CAN WAIT, RIGHT NOW HE HAS TO GO INSERT HIMSELF BACK INTO THE TODODRAMA WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT

you guys. I came here ready for some BAKUDEKU HOSPITAL ANGST, and I got DIDDLY SHIT of that, and none of my other kids were even in this chapter, but!!! ASK ME IF I CARE LMAO omg. because bird son is hanging with his new best friend, and he’s out here Finding Himself and picking up the pieces and putting them back together stronger than ever because RESILIENCE HAS A NAME, AND IT’S SPELLED H-A-W-K-S, and you guys. profound, my love for this child. holy shit. hey google, play Silence by Marshmello

#bnha 299 #takami keigo #hawks (bnha)#best jeanist #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #I found peace in your violence #can't tell me there's no point in trying #I'm at one #and I've been quiet for too long

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libraryofloveletters · 4 years ago

Text

Misplaced Promises

Eddie Diaz x Sister!Reader

Warnings: sibling arguing, general protectiveness, a few swear words and that’s it I think ?

Category: angst/fluff

Word Count: 3.6k

Author’s Note: This one mostly focuses how Eddie tries his best to keep promises he makes and be a good brother but he keeps fucking up. I also tried my best for this to follow a timeline and make it make sense with canon but idk, I made shit up go with it. //

----

14 years old // 19 years old.

The 2 of you were 5 years apart but you were attached at the hip. Eddie was your big brother, the guy you looked up to the most, the person you went to when you didn’t know what to do. You had 2 sisters but what you and Eddie had was different. Sophia and Adriana were the two older ones, they stuck together and they included you but it wasn't the same.

The day before Eddie announced that he enlisted, he had been quiet, shifty and weird all day. He avoided you at all costs. You needed him to look over a project for you - seeing that you ended up with the same English teacher he had in high school but he kept coming up with excuses as to why he couldn't help you.

“Running to the store to pick up something for mom, I'll check when I get back”

“Going to play some ball with the guys, remind me when I get back”

“Gonna shower, I'll do it after”

“Let me go see Shan for a bit, I'll check it when I come home”

Excuse after excuse, he was up to something and knew you would be able to tell so he ignored you at all costs. The next morning at breakfast, he announced that he was enlisting, Shannon was at breakfast too and she didn’t seem shocked at all.

Your father asked him why, your mother began crying and your sisters wished him good luck and hoped that he would be safe. You on the other hand, had your eyes glued to Shannon.

“You knew?” your question directed straight at her.

She nodded, “he told me last night”

“Huh,” you scoff, getting up. “you told her before you told us ?” looking towards your brother.

“y/n, don’t” his look pleading you not to start and you didn’t, simply walking away and going to your bedroom. You can hear bits of the conversation from your room, Eddie telling your parents that he’s only going to do one tour just until he finds what he really wants to do.

It was a while before someone came looking for you and no surprise, it was Eddie.

“Can I check the paper for you now?” he sticks his head in from the doorway, waiting for your answer- his way of hoping that you’d talk to him.

“Sure” nodding toward the computer on the desk. Eddie made himself comfortable in the chair and began going over the paper. The keyboard clicking as he edited the paper and your sighing were the only sounds to be heard.

Everyone had been dealing with the news differently. Your father had turned to whatever project he was building in the backyard, your mother had stepped out- probably to go to the store to get stuff to make one last proper meal for him before he left and your sisters seemed to be handling it well, you could hear them bickering in the hallway over who would get his room as they passed by.

It’s not that they didn’t love him, they just had a different version of the world and of love.

The whole family did.

Sophia and Adriana were the first two, all the love and support of your parents was what they basked in.

Eddie was the only boy, automatically gaining him an in as a mama’s boy and his father’s only son, someone to show off- he was their pride and joy.

That left you, not that they loved you any less because they ‘love all their children the same’ but you never got the parental love and affection that your siblings did. Your parents were busy working and now that you were in high school and capable of looking after yourself, you saw them even less. Eddie had always been there, at the recitals, school concerts, whenever you learnt a new trick and was looking for someone to show, he was there.

In some way, Eddie raised you more than your parents did.

That’s why you couldn’t wrap your head around it.

“Couldn't just find a job here like every other lost kid after high school ? You had to go sign up to get yourself killed?” sitting up, you look towards him.

Eddie sighed, leaning back into the chair and looking at you. He looked sad, almost hurt. “I didn’t ‘sign up to get myself killed’” he tells you, “I can’t sit around watching Soph and Adriana get their lives together meanwhile I'm still living with mom and dad and I have no idea what to do”

“So what? you take a little longer to get your life together, that’s not the end of the world.”

“I’m supposed to know what I want to do, I've been out of high school for a year and a half. Most people have already moved out of their parents’ houses”

“God you’re so stupid” you groan, falling back onto the bed.

“Excuse me?” he looks at you, obviously offended. You get up off the end, pacing the room for a moment, trying to gather your thoughts.

“Just because you’re lost doesn't mean you sign up for the fricking army! Eddie, you could die” your voice breaks at the end of the sentence. Then and only then did Eddie really see how upset you were, you really thought he could die- yes there was that possibility but he knew that when he signed up. He gets up off the chair, you were now facing the window, not wanting him to see the tears that were forming. His hand resting gently on your shoulder.

“I’m not gonna die” he whispers, pulling your shoulder towards him which caused you to turn. “You better not, I'll kill you”

“But I'll be de-” “shut up” you give him a look, he chuckles and pulls you in for a hug. “I promise I'll come home, who else is going to keep you in check?” he teased which earned him a smack to the side, “more like who’s gonna keep you in check” you rebutted, a smile on your face now. Eddie kissed the top of your head, his cheek now resting atop of head - abuela’s words ringing in his head.

“Don’t make promises you can't keep Edmundo”

She had scolded him for promising to give his sister her candy back after he knew he was going to eat it (and he did, but that’s besides the point)

He promised to come home but he didn’t know if he would.

17 years old // 22 years old

“We’re having a baby!” Eddie’s arm around Shannon as they announce the second piece of exciting news for that evening to the family.

Eddie had finally returned from his first tour with the announcement that he and Shannon were getting married all while they were expecting as well. Your parents were the first up to go congratulate the love birds, your sisters are next and you follow last. Hugging Shannon who was already beaming with happiness and then your brother who hugs you for a second longer than needed, whispering that he wants to talk to you afterwards. Humming, you step back and go to help your mother set up for dinner.

The rest of the evening is spent talking about when the baby is arriving, the plans for the wedding and whatever other exciting things are happening for them at that moment. You tuned out about halfway through the conversation, only replying with the simplest answers to make it seem like you were actually listening.

Your sisters, mother and Shannon were in the kitchen all gossiping and making plans for the wedding. A big church wedding, ‘do it right’ as your mother would say because ‘if you do it right the first time, you don’t need to do it again.’

The whole big wedding thing was a scam- a pile of bullshit that you wanted no part of. Don’t let that fool you, you were beyond happy for your brother, becoming a husband and a father- those were things the two of you used to joke about, thinking that it was such a long time from then yet here you are.

The door slammed as it shut, Eddie sitting beside you on the porch. He set a bottle on the step beside you. You glance at the bottle and then at him, brows furrowed.

“Thought you could use a drink after all the exciting news” he hums, taking a sip out of his own bottle.

You let out a dry chuckle, taking a sip yourself. “Yeah, congrats dude. Husband and baby daddy in one go ? You got the guys around here beat” jokingly nudging him with your shoulder. Eddie laughs, “yeah.” the word kind of trailed off, there was more to the answer than he was letting on.

“What's wrong ?”

“Are you really happy for me ?” he turns to you, “I know you weren't exactly happy when I left, especially that I told Shannon first. I just.. you’re my little sister and it means so much that you’re on board with everything-” your hand rests on his.

“You always were kind of an idiot huh?” you pat his hand, Eddie looking clearly offended again. “Of course I'm happy for you. You’re my brother and no matter how much we fight, there’s no way I wouldn't be there for you. Eddie, you’re going to be an amazing dad, you know that right ?”

“Yeah ? You think so ?”

“Mhm hm, know how I know?”

“Do tell”

“Because you raised me and I turned out just fine” you smiled and so did Eddie, shaking his head.

23 years old // 28 years old

Eddie’s place was covered in boxes, the fight with your parents was the last button to be pushed. He packed up the remnants of his life in El Paso and was on his way out to the door.

Christopher was sitting on the couch, his favourite show on tv as you were packing up the last of the dishes in the kitchen. Eddie had just stepped back in after taking some boxes out to the truck. You leant against the counter, looking at him. He knew you weren't the biggest fan of his plan but you supported him nonetheless because that’s what siblings do.

“What? Why do you keep staring ?” he snapped.

“Jesus, who pissed in your coffee?” rolling your eyes at your brother.

“Sorry, I'm just ready to get out of here” he tosses a few things into a box. There had been unspoken words between the two of you since he mentioned that he wanted to move. You didn’t say anything, just listened and helped pack boxes but all of that stops now.

“Are you sure this is the smartest thing?”

“What do you mean?” he stops what he was doing and turns his attention to you.

“I know mom and dad were in the wrong for asking- telling you that Chris should move in with them, that’s bullshit. He’s not their kid, he’s your kid but why are you running Eddie ? You have family there besides them, Sophia and Adriana and me. I’m here Eddie, I've always been here, helping you with Chris since Shannon left.”

“That’s exactly the point, Shannon left. She upped and left us y/n, left me to raise Chris by myself.”

“So did you.” you tell him what you had been waiting to tell him since Christoper was a baby.

“What the hell are you talking about?” the anger visible on his face.

“You left. You upped and left Shannon when she needed you the most, she needed a partner that was here and not thousands of miles away. She just had a baby- your baby and you left her to go to the fucking desert! you risked your life for what ?! you had a family Eddie! You promised just one tour but you just had to go back, you had a family that needed you!”

“Exactly! I had a family that needed me! That’s why I left, I had to provide for them.”

“Don’t give me that shit. You wanna know why mom and dad walk all over you when it comes to raising Chris ? Because you left! You fucking left when the mother of your child, your wife and your child needed you! He needed a father and you left Eddie! Do you know what that does to a child?!”

“Don’t tell me how to raise my child and you sure as hell don't get a say in where my marriage went wrong!” the two of you stood in the kitchen shouting at each other.

The things you said were nothing but what you felt was the truth - he did leave Shannon after she had Chris, when she needed him to be there. You weren't siding with her but you weren't picking up for him either- someone had to let him straight and your parents would never dare say the things you would say to him. Although they didn’t like his approach to raising Christoper, they would never say that because Eddie was their son. They much rather half ass suggest things and beat around the bush than tell Eddie straight what they felt.

The rest of the night was quiet, nothing left to be said between the two of you. Tucking Chris into bed one last time before they leave, you spend the night because you promised Chris you’d be there when they left.

The morning comes and Eddie is quiet, no surprise there. Chris is attached to your hip and the 2 of you stood outside the house, saying goodbye. You crouch down in front of your nephew, “will you come visit?” he asks you sweetly, your heart breaks a little knowing that you won’t be visiting anytime soon but you put on a smile for him. “Of course, only if we stay up late and eat all the candy we can find” you tickle his side, earning a full belly laugh- your favourite sound.

“I love you always, you know that right ?” you look up at the little boy who's nodding. “I love you” he smiles, his finger tapping your nose, yours comes up to mirror his action.

“Okay, give me a big hug and you be good for your dad, he’s a good guy. He just bugs out sometimes” you hug Christoper, his arms wrapped around your neck as you pick him up, carrying him to the trunk.

Eddie comes out just as you’re putting Chris in. He hands you the keys to the house as he checks to make sure Chris is buckled in properly.

The two of you standing there awkwardly before Eddie mumbles bye and walks around the truck. Stepping back, you watch as they pull you, Christoper waving to you from the window.

25 years old // 30 years old

El Paso had treated you well, growing up there and going to school but you needed a change now. Applying to teaching jobs all over the country, you hear back from two- one is Minnesota and one in LA but you couldn't handle the cold so LA it was.

The staff at the school were sweet and welcoming, you had arrived just in time for the new school year. The woman at the front desk was asking you some standard questions when she came across your name on the form.

“Miss, is it l/n or Diaz for your last name ? You have both listed here” she looks to you for an answer. You stared at the paper in front of you- l/n was your mother’s last name and Diaz was your father’s. All your legal documents had Diaz on it but you weren’t sure if you wanted to go by it or not, maybe make something for yourself with the Diaz family name attached to you.

“Miss ?” She asked again, looking at you.

“Diaz. Y/n Diaz is fine”

Classes start and you’re getting settled in nicely, there’s still some shuffling around in terms of students and you get a finalized class list at the end of the week. Not really looking over it, you set it on the desk until the next morning when you say hello to your new class.

You begin writing your name on the board as the children set in.

Ms. Diaz in big bold letters.

“Hey! We have the same last name!” a little boy calls out- voice almost identical to your Chris’ voice.

Turning, there he was sitting n the middle of the class, your nephew Christopher - except no one knows he’s your nephew nor did he seem to remember that you were his aunt. 5 years without a phone call or a visit is a long time, you wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't remember you and he doesn’t. You treat him as you would treat the rest of your students.

The end of the day rolls around, Chris is the last student waiting with you. It was getting a bit chilly so the two of you headed into the classroom. Christoper tells you about his dad- unknowing to him that Eddie is your brother and talks about how he’s a firefighter and all the cool things he got to do when he visited the station.

A blonde man, tall and built in stature comes running into your classroom. “Chris! Buddy!” he heads over to the boy, giving him a hug. “Buck!” the boy smiles, returning the gesture. It was obvious that he knew Chris, the man noticed you watching them.

“Hi, I'm Ms. Diaz, y/n. Christopher’s teacher” you introduce yourself. The man smiles, “I'm Buck, I work with Christopher’s dad”

“He sent you to pick up Chris ?”

“Oh no, he's parking, I just came in to find him because we didn’t see anyone outside. Sorry about that, work ran late” he apologizes.

“No worries, Chris is a great kid. oh buddy, I was supposed to give you a sticker for your work today hold on” you leave Chris and Buck by the door as you go back to your desk, looking for a sticker sheet. When you returned, Eddie was there with Buck, both men had their backs turned to you.

“Yeah! She has the same last name as us dad, there is she” the boy smiled, waving at you. “Ms. Diaz!” he shouts as you make your way over. You don't look at the men instead you step past them, crouching down in front of Chris showing him the sticker sheet.

“Which one would you like?” showing him the sheet, Christopher picks out a little green star with a smiley face on it. Peeling it from the sheet, you stick it on his shirt.

“Can dad and Buck have matching ones too ?” he asks sweetly and who were you to turn down such a cute face.

“Of course,” smiling at him, you stand and turn to Buck. “Can I ?” he nods, watching as you repeat the process and stick the green star to his shirt.

When it comes Eddie’s turn, you can feel Buck’s eyes on you and you see him move to Eddie as well. As for Eddie himself, his eyes were wide, he hadn't spoken to you in almost 5 years and his parents refused to tell him anything other than ‘she’s fine’ when he asked. You didn’t ask him, you just stuck the sticker on him, on his forehead to be exact.

Eddie pulled you in for a hug, a well needed yet weird one. Buck and Chris are whispering behind the two of you.

“I’m sorry” Eddie whispers, his arms still around you.

“I’m the one that said all that shit” you tell him, he shakes his head and lets you go.

“You were right. I’m sorry. I know sorry isn't going to fix it but you’re here and I- I just wanna fix things. I miss my sister and I know Chris misses his aunt”

“Yeah, you’re an ass but you’re still my brother. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try”

Buck goes “oh” behind you, you’re now standing beside Eddie- arms folded and brows furrowed, the same expression on both of you.

“Yeah, I see it now” Buck mumbles, “I’m starving, what’s for dinner ?” he asks, him and Chris walking towards the door together.

You and Eddie follow them out, “why don't you join us for dinner ?” Eddie turns to you, you give him a look. “I can’t crash your time with your boyfriend, y’all are probably-” “my what ?” once again, Eddie had a stupid look on his face.

“So you’re telling me that wonderful human ball of joy isn't your boyfriend ?” looking at your brother, the stupid look still on his face.

“No, why would you think that ?” hearing the genuine confusion in his voice, you laugh.

“No reason, but if you’re not gonna date him, I might.” Giving your brother a smile, his head tilts and a look you know all too well on his face.

“Don’t” his finger pointed at you, you were now biting back a laugh.

“Hey Buck!” you shout, running towards him, Eddie running behind you and shouting for you to stop.

Things were going to fall back into place pretty easily.

-----

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finchleaf · 3 years ago

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howdy! sorry i've been away for so long; i've been visiting family here in turkey but i'm gonna try to start this blog back up :) for now it'll mostly be journal pics

24th july - would you prefer your summer to be shorter or longer?

honestly? maybe a bit shorter. i feel like the days tend to blur together during summer break and not having school to focus on seems to make my mental health even worse :/ anyways! i'm very excited for senior year as you can tell haha

answering the rest down below!

1st July - What are your plans for this summer?

lots of traveling, working as a camp counselor in august, makin some sweet sweet money to save up for college, playing the new sims expansion pack (!!), and hanging out with friends as much as possible before schoolwork begins to bury me alive again :)

2nd July - Do you have a specific goal for this summer?

i want to study really well for my sat in late august!! (i’ve already made some great progress) also i want to get a lot of college app stuff out of the way (write some more practice essays bc i don’t like my current one, get my letters of rec in place, figure out my major, etc)

3rd July - Do you have a lot of work to do for school, university or your job this summer?

ooo ok we have to read a book and write an assignment for it for ap lit this year (except i think we start that once we get back to school?). also i need to do a bunch of summer hw for ap calc, but that’s pretty much it! and then i have a job for 2 weeks in august (as mentioned above hehe)

4th July - What is the most important task that you need to complete this summer?

probably college app stuff ahhh don’t want to even think about it anymore

5th July - Do you have any special plans or activities for this summer?

traveling to turkey to see my family!! staying in a couple of villas (there’s a lot of us!) and then my grandma’s old summer apartment for ~5 days

6th July - What do you usually do during the summer? Is anything different this year?

going to turkey! a lifelong tradition since i was a lil baby :) last year we couldn’t go so this year’s extra special. also my first time doin a summer job!!

7th July - What did you do during the summer when you were a young child?

^^^ same as above haha

8th July - What’s your happiest summer memory from your childhood?

ooh probably one of the many from my grandma’s little summer apartment here. i have an 11 yo cousin so we share a lot of memories like running to buy our anneanne her newspaper in the convenience store downstairs, finding fish underwater at the local beach, staying up late gorging on magnum ice cream bars :)

9th July - Do you usually go on vacation during the summer?

yup

10th July - What is the best vacation you have ever been on? (note: doesn’t have to be a summer vacation)

oooh one time after flying into istanbul to stay with aforementioned cousin and my aunt, we all traveled to london for about a week! i loved that so so much, we never could really afford to go anywhere else for vacation so that was super memorable for me.

11th July - What is your favourite vacation memory?

swimming with my family in oludeniz, (called “blue lagoon”) a super pretty beach area. we swam to a little island and then jumped off its cliff :)))

12th July - What is the worst vacation you have ever been on?

oh god ok vomit tw for this one but one time my aunt, cousin, mom, and i traveled back to istanbul after staying at my grandma’s in ayvalik and we had to take a boat for a couple of hours. everyone on the boat (and it was a big one) for some reason started vomiting everywhere. i was i think the only one who wasn’t sick so it was hell haha

13th July - What is your dream vacation?

like a month-long roadtrip around france!!!! i’ve wanted to go there since i was in elementary school

14th July - Would you rather stay in one resort for a month or travel across the country for one month?

definitely travel cross country omg

15th July - Are there any special events for you in the summer? (for example, birthdays, festivals, etc.)

bayram!! bayram is sick you get money for kissing the older people in your family sjfdsjj

16th July - Do you have any summer traditions?

renting a villa with the entire family!

17th July - What is your typical daily routine in the summer?

at home, i usually wake up anywhere from 7am to 10am, take my dog for 2+ walks, read a ton, and avoid work ;)

18th July - How do you stay motivated during the summer? (for example, to study)

it’s pretty tough! i’m hoping to study daily in my town’s library for my sat once i get back home in august. i think that’ll be pretty handy!

19th July - Do you stay indoors or outdoors more in the summer?

oh outdoors there’s no ac here so we’re constantly heading over to the beach

but at home in the us, probably indoors

20th July - Are you a ‘summer person’?

nOOOOOO i love any season/month that allows me to wear sweaters and pants, so obviously i’m not a big fan of summer

21st July - What is an unpopular opinion that you have about summer?

oh hm i’m not sure... most of the women in my family always wear bikinis when we go to the beach and i just really hate them? idk haha

also i think summer camps are kinda weird but that’s probably because i never went to one as a kid

22nd July - What does summer feel like where you live?

rather cool in the later afternoon. i also love how it smells there-- lots of freshly-cut lawns, grills constantly being used, the hydrangeas in our backyard

23rd July - Would you prefer summer to be hotter or colder than it usually is for you?

oh huh it can get reaaally hot midday so it would be nice if it was a bit cooler

#flpost #journal #lookrylie #studyvan #sonderstudy #philologystudies #myhoneststudyblr #heyzainab #heypeachblossom #athenastudying #jeonchemstudy #summer studying challenge

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