#my mom was so happy to help me pain my room purple

[m1shapanda]

do you think about the fact that regardless of how small your action could've been, it could've affected someone's life

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

prompt request: older malec 😬 (second chance romance veryyy much accepted )

I know you’re fishing for that BTLIO happy ending that you’re never getting from me nsnsbsmsksskjs

_________

High school reunions are kind of overhyped, in his opinion.

It’s a frivolous attempt by one at pretending that their teenage years were not as miserable as they remember it to be.

Magnus’s quite over it, if he’s being honest.

He never wants to meet most of the people from his high school ever again.

But he’s back in his town after 10 years and Catarina forces him to attend the event.

“Magnus, this is a great way to show up all those assholes that made you miserable.”

“Show up how?” He asks.

Catarina raises an eyebrow at him and he relents.

“Fine. I guess my million dollar worth could be a way.”

“You think?”

He sighs. “But is that it? Financial success? Is that all that matters in this world?”

Catarina side eyes him, “Wow, this town really brings out the angsty teenager in you.”

Magnus rolls his eyes at her. “I just don’t like these people. And I don’t think showing my wealth is a way to prove that I’m better than them.”

“But you are better than them.”

His face breaks into a smile. “And that’s why I love you, my dear.”

His teenage years in this town were to quite simply put it—a nightmare.

They were filled with homophobia, racism and everything in between.

Magnus remembers nothing but being sad in most of them.

Most of them. Not all of them.

Some of them were good memories. The best ones of his life.

He knows those memories had nothing to do with this school or the town but something else.

Something angelic.

Someone angelic.

He puts on his most flamboyant and dramatic outfit, now that no one can hurt him with words about how he chooses to dress up like.

Magnus puts on a purple sheer shirt, with a deep, very deep v neck cut. Half of his chest was visible, with seven necklaces laded on it.

There’s one small necklace still on his neck, it doesn’t match his outfit but it was given by his mom , fixed by his Rafael, he doesn’t know how and he kind of misses them both terribly today.

It’s something about this town.

At least one of them, he’ll get to see again after two days. Rafael wanted to come with him but too but Magnus didn’t want to bring him here. There’s too much sadness here. And he always wants to keep his baby away from all that sadness.

Two hours later, they reach their high school. The event is happening in the gymnasium, even ten years later.

With huge letters, the banner reads- “Class of 2012”.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

Magnus goes around the room, meeting people he’s forgotten by now. Some he remembers like yesterday.

“Magnus,” A beautiful woman with curly hair approaches him. “Magnus Bane?”

Magnus thinks for a second before his eyes widen in surprise—good surprise. “Maia?”

“It’s been so long,” she smiles and pulls him in a hug.

“Too long.”

“You disappeared from here.”

“I didn’t disappear,” he says, not without a flair. “I just made a grand exit.”

They both know he’s kind of lying. Magnus had disappeared. More accurately, he’d run away.

It had been too hard. Breathing had become too hard.

If he’d stayed here a minute longer with all the painful memories, Magnus would have died.

Leaving this town had saved him.

He meets a few other people after that. It’s not half as horrible as he’d expected.

“Magnus?”

He recalls that voice as clear as a day. He turns to find the most beautiful woman in front of him.

She was always beautiful but right now, she looks a hundred times prettier. He also knows that it’s nothing to do with her physical appearance but everything to do with the huge smile on her face.

The visible happiness.

She’s never looked freer.

None of the Lightwood siblings ever did.

“Isabelle?”

She jumps in her arms, still with all the love and joy like they’re sixteen again.

Like the little girl who used to help him climb up her house so that they could play housie at night.

Or after a particularly horrible night when they needed some cheering up—thanks to the Lightwood parents.

If it wasn’t for the warm hug, he would have been scared to hug her back. But there’s no such feeling anymore as he wraps his arms around her tightly.

“Oh, darling,” he breathes. “It’s so nice to see you.”

“You too,” Isabelle says happily and he knows she means it.

Isabelle was a two years younger than them so technically she shouldn’t be here. There’s only one reason for her to be here and considering that Simon is lurking not five steps away, with a giddy smile on his face, he has to be right.

“You being here, I can only assume you are still with Sherman,” he grins, the old joke falling easily from his lips.

“I do.”

“Hello, Magnus,” Simon waves excitedly.

They talk for a while but Magnus is a bit distracted throughout.

“He’s here, you know,” Isabelle says.

His brows furrows, “Who?”

Isabelle rolls his eyes. “You know who.”

He does.

Magnus didn’t want to come to the reunion for the following reasons:

1. He dislikes most of these people.

2. He ran away ten years ago and it’s weird to explain to everyone why that happened.

3. Alexander Gideon Lightwood.

The first two reasons ignite a strange anxiety in him. But the last one, it stirs up feelings and emotions he’s tried to kept hidden for years.

If Magnus tries to open the Pandora’s box, he might never be able to shut it down.

“I—I don’t know if—” he stutters, slightly annoyed but not surprised that Alec lightwood can still bring out the teenager in him, “I don’t know if he’d want to see me.”

Isabelle gives him a small smile. “It’s been ten years, Magnus. I think it would be okay.”

He wonders if she knows. If she knows why he did what he did.

Out of all his friends, he had only ever confided in Catarina and Clary at the time.

“Okay.”

He roams around the room, trying to find the man. Then he spots him. It’s not difficult. Even though the last time Magnus saw him was a decade ago, when they were teenagers, still not fully grown into their bodies, still with a bit of acne and awkward smiles on their faces.

But Magnus knows. He knows the man standing in front of him, with his back to Magnus’s face, in a navy blue sweatshirt, amidst a crowd of people fully dressed up in tuxedos and dresses has to be none other than Alec Lightwood.

He musters up all the strength he can, but the air closes up around him, his feet freeze on spot and he finds himself unable to move or speak.

All he can recall is the last time he was infront of Alec.

The last, horrible, horrible words he had hurled at the man who was his entire world.

But it’s been ten years and if anyone deserves an apology or hundred from Magnus, it’s him.

So, he shoves inside his pain, the guilt and everything he’s feeling right now and has been for the past two decades and opens his mouth.

“Alexander?”

It’s the easiest thing in the world to notice the man’s body tense up at the name. There’s a full few seconds of absolutely no movement before Alec moves—oh, so slowly.

His heart stutters inside his chest, rapidly beating inside.

From the ages of twelve to seventeen, Magnus had only felt two emotions in the world. Pain, at everything happening inside his house and love—for Alec.

His life had space for nothing else at the time.

Then slowly, and then very instantly, only pain had remained as he had pushed all the love away.

“Magnus?”

He’s still as beautiful as ever; Magnus thinks. But somehow more so. There’s that teenage shyness missing from his face, replaced with the handsomeness of a grown man.

Alec looks breathtaking, with his wild hair, dark and gorgeous. His eyes, as blue and shiny as ever.

A hundred emotions flicks over his face and it breaks his heart to realise that he understands none of them, having lost the privilege to read Alec years ago.

Then, his face settles on a small smile. A tight lipped one. Not Alec’s real one.

Alec’s real smile, that’s something one can never forget.

It’s a special privilege, to be able to see Alec Lightwood smile.

“Hi,” he says, carefully, not knowing the kind of reaction he will get.

If Alec tells him to fuck off and never show his face again, he would understand.

He would deserve it.

He had broken Alec’s heart in the worst of ways.

But Alec doesn’t yell, doesn’t tell him to fuck off. He smiles. Only if a bit careful.

“It’s been a minute since I have seen you.”

He chuckles, “Yeah. Been a minute.”

There’s a few minutes of silence afterwards. He doesn’t want what he’s supposed to say. What either of them could say after the shitshow everything was the last time they saw each other.

They stand awkwardly before it gets too difficult for Alec and he excuses himself. “I think someone is calling me.”

Magnus sighs dejectedly as Alec leaves, his heart breaking inside his chest.

This is why Magnus didn’t want to come back to this stupid, fucking town ever again. It brings nothing but pain and disappointment.

Catarina has asked him through the years if he regrets his decision. And the answer is always a resounding no.

He needed to choose someone at the time, and he chose Alec.

No one will ever know though and he’s quite okay with that choice.

Alec and he cross paths a couple of times in the next two hours but they don’t talk, Alec still avoids him like the plague. Or just because there’s nothing to talk.

He’s a little angry at Alec; if he’s being honest.

It’s not right, he knows. But he wants Alec to be angry at him right now, yell or shout about why he did what he did. But Alec does none of those things and it hurts more than he would like to accept.

Maybe, for Alec, it wasn’t that big of a deal.

It was just a break up after all.

People break up all the time.

They weren’t special.

Even the thought leaves a bitter taste in his mouth because he knows with everything inside of him tjay to him, it meant everything.

Alec Lightwood was everything.

“So, guess what we’re about to do now?” One of the organisers, Michelle announces.

“Leave?” He mutters, only loud enough for Catarina to hear; who chuckles in response.

“Shut up. You love a party.”

“Not this one.”

“Remember when we all put a time capsule under that big tree in the campus?” Michelle screams. “We’re about to open them.”

Oh.

The time capsule.

He recalls early senior year, everyone giggling and laughing, putting their hopes, future plans into the time capsule.

He remembers his ambitions. Plans. He had a lot at the beginning of senior year.

By the end of senior year, he had none left. Not a whole lot of hope either.

“What did you put in your time capsule?” Catarina asks.

He frowns, trying to recall. “I don’t really remember. You?”

Catarina thinks for a moment before her eyes widen in embarrassment, “Oh god. I put something very embarrassing.”

Magnus chuckles, “What?”

“You’re never finding out, Bane.”

There’s too much chatter then, everyone discussing their capsules, asking about others. For a second, it feels like he’s back to being seventeen again.

“Come on, let’s find out.”

“I don’t wanna,” he whines but then he sees Isabelle, Jace, Simon and Clary all run in the direction, dragging a grumpy Alec and he follows.

“Fine. Let’s go.”

“Ask Clary out. Go Pro,” Jace’s time capsule notes and he hurrayed, kissing Clary on the mouth.

Clary finds a photo of all six of them, huddling on top of each other and they all warm up inside at the memory.

They had all been at Magnus’s house that day, the one in the photo.

They all tear up a little.

Isabelle finds a small bottle of alcohol that she had stolen from her dad, pulling a chuckle out of everyone as she chugs it in one go. “No regrets,” she screams.

“Simon?”

Simon finds a small picture of him and his dad. “I lose things all the time. I didn’t want to lose this picture.”

Isabelle pulls him in for a hug and kisses his temple.

A little excitement simmering up, Magnus opens his box. There’s a single note inside, and when he reads it, his heart breaks for the thousandth time.

“What do you have Magnus?”

His voice breaks, “Excuse me,” and runs away from there.

Tears stream down his face as he runs towards the terrace. It’s an isolated spot, entry restricted to students but long back, Magnus and his friends have found out a way to break that lock. Almost a decade, and the lock is still not fixed.

He sits on the ledge and cries his heart out.

It angers him so much, being here. It’s like suddenly he’s transported back to ten years ago, with his fragile teenage heart.

After a while, he doesn’t know how long, there’s footsteps on the terrace.

“Hi.”

He chuckles dryly. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Comfort me. I’m just having a moment.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah.”

They stay silent but Magnus has been never been a fan of silence so he asks, “How did you know I was here?”

It’s a stupid question, really. But atleast it’s a question. Atleast they’ll talk.

Because Magnus doesn’t know how long he can go on without Alec talking to him.

Ten years was too long.

“So,” he drags his words, “What was in your time capsule?”

“A list,” Alec chuckles, but it’s weak.

He knows that as well. They had written put their time capsules together. Right next to each other. But they hadn’t shown each other what they had written.

“Stop peaking,” Magnus recalls Alec squealing as he tried to peek into Alec’s list.

“Come on, show me.”

“No.”

Magnus had dragged his finger along Alec’s neck then, as he got closer and purred against his ear, “Please darling. It’s me.”

Alec’s body had shivered under his touch. “Stop. I know what you’re trying to do.”

“And what would that be?” He grinned.

He had tried some more but Alec had not shown him.

That day, it had felt impossible that there would come a day when they would actually get to open that. Ten years had felt too long at the time.

Right now, he can’t even recall where the past ten years went.

“You want to see it?” Alec suggests.

Magnus’s eyes widen. “You will show me?”

“Why not?” Alec shrugs. “We’ve got nothing to lose.”

The words sting, burning a red and angry feeling inside of him but he tries not to show it at the surface. “Okay.”

Alec passes a piece of paper to him.

Magnus takes a deep breath and turns it.

Alec’s scrawny handwriting brings out a smile out of him.

1. Leave Idris.

2. Come out to everyone.

3. Become an archery player.

4. Get Max and Izzy and Jace out of his parents control.

5. Marry Magnus.

A choked sob leaves Magnus’s mouth. And still, he can find in himself to be incredibly proud that Alec was able to fulfil four out of the five things.

“Four out of five isn’t bad,” he tries to keep lightness in his voice but fails miserably.

“I guess,” Alec says, his voice tight.

Before anyone says another word, Magnus takes out the piece of paper from his pocket and passes it to Alec.

He avoids his gaze as Alec reads the words.

Magnus’s list wasn’t really a list. It contains of only one thing and Magnus couldn’t even fulfil that.

There’s just words that he knows will mock him for an eternity.

Mama is sick. But don’t worry, stay with Alec. He will make everything okay. He will make you okay.

A hurt noise leaves Alec’s mouth this time and he feels his own heart splintering. He wants to hug the man and tell him that he’s sorry. That it wasn’t his fault. That he’s good. But he does none of that.

“Magnus—“ Alec says brokenly.

He knows what Alec is asking. Magnus didn’t plan to ever tell anyone—especially Alec about this but he is tired—so tired of the pain, of the weight of the secret paining him for a decade.

For all the love he doesn’t know what to do with.

For their hopeful teenaged selves that believed nothing could come between them but something—Magnus, did.

“You needed to leave.”

“What?”

“If you had stayed in Idris, you would have died. You were dying here under the weight of your parents expectations and you needed to leave this town. I could not be another thing between you and your freedom,” he says hurriedly, the air around him closing.

“Magnus, what are you talking—?”

“You had that scholarship in your hand, Alexander,” Magnus breathes harshly, almost gasping. “I couldn’t let you stay for me.”

“Your mom was dying, Magnus,” Alec says harshly, and the words hurt but they’re true. “Of course I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay for you.”

“I couldn’t let that happen,” he admits. “You had a whole life, a whole career ahead of you. I couldn’t stop you.”

“You didn’t have to ask. I would have done anyways,” Alec all but screams and it feels almost cathartic, that the other man is finally screaming.

He’s positive Alec hasn’t screamed in a decade.

“You think I don’t know that?” Magnus exhales. “That’s why I had to do what I did.”

There’s silence then. Just their loud breathing audible.

Before Alec speaks, as tired and pained as he feels, “You broke my heart, Magnus.”

Tears stream down his face and he wipes them off harshly. “I’m sorry.”

“All I did was love you,” Alec whispers. “And then I didn’t understand.”

“I did not want you to understand, Alexander. For that, I am incredibly sorry.”

They stay silent then. Not knowing what to do with all of this.

At least now, Alec has all the answers.

He thinks it’s time for him to leave. He told Alec everything there was to know. Now he needs to leave this town and these people again.

It’s the most unexpected and magical thing in the world when Alec speaks after a few minutes, “You want to go for a walk?”

————————————————-

As they talk; Magnus will find out about Max, Alec’s three year old son. Alec will show him a picture and it would be the cutest kid in the world.

Five years later, Magnus will make sure that Alec crosses off the fifth thing off his list too.

And in his vows, he thanks Alec for making him okay.

————-

[hotchoclateszn]

The man who keeps me captive. || chapter 1: The Box

Tw: forced relationship, pain, implied nsfw, kidnapping, dismemberment

You weren’t exactly sure what you expected when you opened the door to your familys small home, but it definitely wasn't the image of seeing a fatui harbringer with a big hat sitting at your dining table. Your mother, father, and the man all looked at your entrance as you walked in. You shut the door behind you quietly and were planning on going upstairs when your father motioned you over.

You put the flowers you had got from your boyfriend in your left hand and made your way over. Your father started with, "y/n, this is Lord Scaramouche, one of the Fatui Harbringers." You never quite got a proper manners class seeing as you never had a reason too. You lived in the small village of Qingce and never really planned to leave. Not to mention your shyness, which didn't help. "Hi, nice to meet you." You said as you held your hand out. He shook your hand out, and you could swear you felt a little bit of lighting, but you didn't mention it. The thing you noticed the most was his eyes. They looked at you full of lust.

Your mothers words pulled you out of the awkward silence, "Are those flowers from Keyat?" You nodded your head. "Who knows y/n? Maybe he will put a ring on your finger soon." You laugh slightly. "I dont think im ready for that yet, mom. I'll be in my room if you need me." And for a split second, you swear you see Scaramouche watching you leave with a glare in his eyes.

The next morning, you make your way to the dining table where breakfast is already served. It's not anything amazing, just oatmeal, but what matters most is the people you're eating with. Your family and the people you care for. You wouldn't trade it for the world. Your father sighs deeply and starts a statement, "So y/n, you know the man that was here last night?" You nod your head in the yes direction, "Yes, I didn't ask last night, but why was he here?"

"You might not know, but me your mother were deep in debt. We were unable to pay bills off, but we were able to get a loan from Northland Bank. But now the time has come to pay said loan off, and we dont have the money. So, Lord Scaramouche came and discussed options. Then, you walked in. And after you had left, he said that if he was to marry you, the loans would be paid off." Your heart sunk. Your mother spoke quickly, "Of course you don't have to if you dont want to. It's up to you."

You started shaking. This could save your family, and then again, you had your own life. Your own boyfriend and a life here. "Well anyways, you have until 1:00 to make a decision." It was already 11:00, but you're pretty sure your mind is made up. "I need to go on a walk. I will be back." They said their 'love yous,' and you headed out. You knew straight where you were going to Keyat's house.

You were so happy when he opened the door. You threw your arms around him. "Y/n, whats up?" "Nothing, I just missed you." And you both went inside his house. Little did you know a pair of purple eyes were watching you, and plotting.

By the time 1:00 came around, you knew what your decision was. You, your mother, and father were all standing inside, waiting for Scaramouche to come in. He entered, and your parents both bowed and said welcome lord. You didn't say anything. He seemed to notice this and didn't say anything. "Y/n has her mind made up." Scaramouche simly states, "Let's go on a walk." You want to refuse, but you can't. So you gracefully leave and give a pleading look to your mother.

The silence was deafening, nethier of you saying anything. The only other sound was the footsteps of the fatui agent following behind carrying a box. You wondered what was on the inside? You had both come up to the area where the path overlooked the small village. He spoke surprisingly gently, "So y/n what's your decision?" You stuttered a bit but finally got it out, "The answer is no. I will not marry you." He laughed a bit, but it sounded forced. More like he was annoyed. "If this is about that boyfriend of yours dont worry, that problem is taken care of." You lookes around worryingly, "What do you mean?" He snaped his fingers and the fatui agent brought teh box over. "Take a look." He said with a grin. You slowly opened it. You scremed and threw the box down. It was Keyat's head in tissue paper. Tears came down your eyes. "Why would you do that to him. Why would you do that to me!? The answer is still no!"

"Hn, are you really that dumb? You dont get a decision. The answer is yes." He says as he grabs your wrist. You rip his hand off and try to run only to be stopped by a stinging pain in your leg. You fall to the ground, shaking your leg around. Scaramouche bends down to your fallen form. "I think this spot fits you. You under me. Makes since. But see, you wanna start problems, so I just had to hurt you. Let's get you back." He snaps his fingers, and another fatui agent appears. They pick up your body and take you down the path. "What.. agh... not strong enough to carry a girl, yousrelf?" He smirks at this, "No, i just dont like touching trash. This poor village and your poor clothes. But once you're clean, I'll touch you everywheree, whenever i want. And ill also have to fix that mouth of yours. I always like to break people though."

Once you got back to your house, the fatui put you down into the arms of Scaramouche. He held your side and helped you walk. "Say bye to your family. You wont see them for awhile." You walk in with tears in your eyes and a goodbye to your family. You wanted to take longer, but Scaramouche grabs your wrist and pulls you back. "Let's go." You walked to the carriage and of course, had to sit with Scaramouche. He was filling out paperwork you could see. So, yes you looked. You were bored. "The only paper you should be looking at is how to be a house wife." He scoffed. You were going to be in pain the rest of your life.

[sagesilentfire]

SAMATFOE Short Story

So the short story I promised in my s5 preview is here! It's a Creative Writing project, that I had a lot of fun with.

You can also read it on AO3

This is about Toffee and their relationship with Necahua, their sibling, and Cayeto, their dad.

A/N: This is part of a much, much, much larger story that I intend to finish this year. I've been working on it since senior year of high school, and it means a lot to me. But as I was writing the final volume in this five-work (each novel-length) story, I realized that I had a part of the story I didn't have room in my outline for. The story was already full to the bursting, tying up character arcs for over two dozen characters, and I didn't think this quiet story that introduced and gave the story for yet another character who was only passingly referred to in the text as an example of how ghosts could go wrong was quite... economical. But then my creative writing teacher gave me the opportunity to write a story of my choosing, and I had a huge one right here. So have a short story in play script (I like to write in play script for fun) where I re-explain the relevant parts of SAMATFOE for the uninformed, except it's through the eyes of the people who were antagonists (not really villains) for most of the story and the main characters and plots are only referenced, unless you count Una'met a main character, which I do. So one main character.

And yes, the project is a fanfiction. But only one of the four characters is from the canon.

Familial Love and Other Distractions

SCENE ONE

Open to a small cramped office only taking up half the stage. Centuries' worth of clutter lies around the floor, the bookshelves, and the large desk ending at the middle of the stage, mostly paper and stone tablets, all covered in script in a distinctly non-English language. There is a door on the side of the stage opposite the desk, blocked by some papers, but that clearly can be opened wide enough for someone to slip in. There is no wall opening towards the dark middle of the stage, instead the massive desk walls off the room. UNA'MET CO'TZIN-NEKOHTZACA, a young-looking lizard person in a black dress and veil, sits at the desk, trying to come up with a plan. UNA’MET’s emotions, regardless of context, are deliberately subdued. Their smiles are half-smiles, their anger is understated. Their disapproval is obvious, but still more exasperated than actively disappointed

Enter NECAHUA CO'TZIN-NEKOHTZACA. The sibling resemblance is uncanny, though Necahua is a ghost, in pajamas and an ill-fitting adult's cloak. They are the opposite of their sibling: emotional and passionate. The few times they are quiet is when they are remembering a painful memory. They cross their arms.

NECAHUA: You've been in here for hours. Are you not preparing for battle? I could help you, you know. (They say this in Septarian, but through the Magic of Theater!!!, everyone can understand it)

UNA'MET: (sighs, turns around halfway) No, we're not preparing for battle. I don't expect Star to be as trigger-happy as Moon was. I am preparing a lesson plan. 

NECAHUA: Right. Teach the princess all our secrets and then once the alliance breaks down, she'll know how to beat us. You can't trust promises made by Butterflys.

UNA'MET: That's not the worst way to die. And if us living don't get our act together, our deaths will be far more agonizing than yours could hope to be. If you're just going to whine about how Star Butterfly broke a promise one time, then please leave, or I'll demote you so hard you'll wish you were guarding my storehouse.

NECAHUA: Fine, but you've been doing nothing but write in your journals for ages! Our moms are worried about you. 

UNA'MET: I'm fine. Sílthéy will tell me when Star is close to arriving. 

A chord on a piano strums. It sounds like a chord that could conceivably exist, but a very esoteric one. A spotlight shines down on THE NARRATOR, a large, fiery blue and purple dragon, at a piano in the other half of the stage. 

NARRATOR: Hi.

NECAHUA: How the hell did you get a piano in there?

UNA'MET: Don't worry about it.

NARRATOR: (at the same time) The Magic of Theater!!! (Pause) It's been too long since I told a story like this! For the audience's reference, this one (points at UNA'MET) is the last survivor of the destruction of Old Septarsis. We are currently in New Septarsis. Fucking colonizers couldn't keep us down. Also, we can swear in this story, because I've abandoned all pretenses of this one being for kids! Fuck! Ha!

(NECAHUA coughs)

NARRATOR: Please, I'm getting to that. I am the guardian Dragon of Septarsis Old and New. Necahua (points) is Una'met's sibling, who died protecting them when Una'met was only six. Necahua themself died at fourteen, and boy do they act like it.

(NECAHUA growls, but UNA'MET shoots them a venomous glare) (Not literally, their glare isn't actually venomous.)

NARRATOR: Una'met is now the defender of New Septarsis, commanding an army of ghosts against their colonizers and performing magic while I am incapacitated for... reasons. They have two wonderful mothers and a father, who all died protecting them. Which is why Necahua's here. Neca?

NECAHUA: (sighs, to UNA’MET) Dad wants to see you.

UNA'MET: (weary) Dad always wants to see me. You want to keep promises, Dad wants to see us. It's what you do, fixating on the ways you died. He's been calling me constantly for eight hundred years. 

NARRATOR: Via the psychic group chat.

UNA'MET: If you have to put it that way, sure. Via the psychic group chat.

NECAHUA: Yeah, but you haven't seen Dad in person in over a year. Xo-Mom says you're overdue, and so does Te-Mom.

UNA'MET: I don't have time! I've sent Dad enough reassurance from our mental link. And dealing with him is... exhausting. If he wants to see me, let him. But I'm not stopping my work to see him, or the entire world will pay for my mistake.

NECAHUA: Oh, there goes the big old martyr! You're the most important fucking person in the world, and the worst part is you're right! You're so important, and smart, and grown-up, and I'm just your dumb, reckless sibling who makes promises with liars and then gets mad that they lied. I'm your sibling, and you still sentence me to an eternity of guarding your shed!

UNA'MET: Yes, and I'm not sure you'll even get that right. Tell Dad I'll visit him when the current crisis has passed. A crisis, might I remind you, that will destroy the entire multiverse!

NECAHUA: Fine! I don't care! Goodbye! 

(NECAHUA exits via the door)

UNA'MET: (growls, turns back to the desk, puts head in hands) Idiot... doesn't even care...

NARRATOR: (leans in) You really should see Cayeto.

UNA'MET: (moves veil to glare at NARRATOR full-force) Don't you start.

NARRATOR: Oh, I absolutely will. Starting is my job. You could clone yourself, you know. Do both. Poor Cayeto... dying out of love can absolutely fuck someone up, and when Necahua died, half of his motivation for staying just up and vanished. He's left a half-afterlife, wanting to protect Una'met at all costs, but ignoring or attacking everyone else. 

(UNA’MET rifles through the papers on the desk, not seeming to find what they’re looking for)

UNA'MET: I know you're just saying this for the benefit of the audience you'll later tell the story to, but it is kind of irritating when you repeat things I already am far too aware of. 

NARRATOR: I thought you might need a reminder. Go visit your dad. Clone yourself. 

UNA'MET: That is magically costly, and I don't know if Cayeto would recognize an extension of myself.

NARRATOR: You could have me take over. I've been wanting to add Remedial Magic For Morons to the reading list.

UNA'MET: Absolutely not. I don't want the princess to hate me for a stupid decision you made.

NARRATOR: Now you're just making excuses.

UNA'MET: (snorts) I wasn't that time.

NARRATOR: Aha! You admit it! But really, why won't you see your dad?

UNA'MET: Don’t you already know?

NARRATOR: Fine, keep your secrets to the audience. But I know them all anyways... I want to hear your opinions in your voice.

UNA'MET: I'm glad you value my opinion, but your future audience will have to stay in the dark until the current crisis is solved.

NARRATOR: Ugh. You're really not going to say anything are you. No soliloquies? No deep introspection in iambic pentameter?

UNA'MET: (sighs) Go away, Sílthéy.

NARRATOR: Fine.

(UNA’MET returns to work, lights dim)

SCENE TWO

Open to the same cluttered office taking up half the stage, but the other half shows a city full of stone buildings and winding vines, no piano in sight. A few RANDOM EXTRAS sit around the scene, reading books or eating, without moving on or off stage. The wall behind the desk has been restored, and now clearly delineates the office from its surroundings. UNA'MET remains at the desk, though the clutter has shifted around a bit. 

A loud wailing echoes through the stage. UNA'MET looks up, startled, and then exasperated. They drop the book they were reading.

UNA'MET: Seems Cayeto decided to come see me.

NARRATOR: (popping in from the door) You did say that was an option.

UNA'MET: I'm surprised he left the remains of the house. Taulitza, this could be dangerous. I've already had to dampen his magic.

UNA’MET, despite their assertion that this could be dangerous, does nothing to prepare besides standing up. They are used to danger.

NARRATOR: Yes, using a spell you yourself devised! You are very brilliant. 

UNA'MET: Please don't flatter me. (Pause, realization) Do you go bragging about me to everyone? No wonder Necahua is sick of hearing about me. 

NARRATOR exits, closing the door.

The wailing increases. A pounding on the door. UNA'MET sighs, very "You're really testing my patience", and opens it.

Enter CAYETO CO'TZIN-TOLANÍA. He is a large lizard person with saber teeth and a ruffled blue mane. He wears pajamas. A bright red ribbon cut into pieces wraps around his neck, and he is a ghost.

UNA'MET: Hi, Dad.

CAYETO: Una... I needed... you're alive! You're alright.

UNA'MET: I'm fine. In perfect shape. You saved me, you succeeded.

CAYETO inspects UNA'MET, poking them to make sure they're corporeal, not a ghost. UNA'MET fails to repress a flinch. It's been a long time since they've relaxed around their father.

CAYETO: A little tired, but that's fine. I'm so happy you're okay. Where is Necahua? Did they make it out?

UNA'MET: (Pause, deliberating) Necahua isn't here now. You can see them later, when you're at the house. You need to go back to our house.

CAYETO: Yes! I need to keep you safe. (Grabs UNA’MET’s arm.) Putting you in the cellar like we planned worked, so you've got to get back to the cellar now. That will keep you safe.

UNA'MET: (carefully extracts their arm) I can't go to the cellar right now, I need to work. I'll meet you at the house soon, okay?

CAYETO: Oh... okay.

It seems like UNA'MET has won. They managed to deal with their father without expressing a single emotion. But as CAYETO floats to the door, it opens, and NECAHUA and THE NARRATOR enter. 

CAYETO yelps. He approaches NECAHUA, realizing that they are a ghost. UNA’MET glares at NECAHUA and THE NARRATOR. THE NARRATOR is unaffected.

NECAHUA: (waves awkwardly) Hi, Dad.

CAYETO: What did they do to you? Was it her? (Gestures at THE NARRATOR)

NECAHUA: No, it wasn't her. I've been like this for nearly eight hundred years, Dad.

CAYETO: Knew we couldn't trust her! She killed you!

NECAHUA: No, Dad, that's not what happened!

A rumble of thunder outside. The RANDOM EXTRAS outside sigh and take out umbrellas. Seems something MOMENTOUS and IMPORTANT is about to take place. It's just ANOTHER TUESDAY.

Meanwhile, CAYETO is raging. He, via telekinesis, tosses a stone tablet at THE NARRATOR, which shatters on impact.

UNA'MET: My research!

NECAHUA: That's what you're worried about?

UNA'MET: Well, Sílthéy's fine.

THE NARRATOR gives a thumbs up.

CAYETO moves to throw another tablet, but UNA'MET stops him. 

UNA'MET: Hey. You always told me the value of talking things out peacefully. Let's talk. (To NARRATOR, in a language they both understand but CAYETO doesn't) Leave as soon as possible. (In Septarian, a white lie) Dad, Necahua is fine. They died a peaceful death. Sílthéy is a friend of theirs. Let's talk about me. I'm trying to come up with a lesson plan for someone.

CAYETO: No, no, you should talk to Tecoloa about that. I'm no teacher. (THE NARRATOR exits via a trapdoor in the floor) But... how can I help you? I need... I need... to help you live.

UNA'MET: (calm, gentle) You can help me, by going to our house. I'll meet you there.

CAYETO: Oh... yes, I'll do that! I will, I will!

UNA'MET: I'll see you there.

CAYETO exits via the door

NECAHUA: You snapped him out of it. I could never do that.

UNA'MET: (crosses the room to NECAHUA) Necahua, you are fourteen years old. Dealing with your parent's mental state is not your job.

NECAHUA: I've been fourteen for centuries. I'm tired of it.

UNA'MET: I get it. 

UNA'MET finds a clear area against the wall and sits down on the floor, leaning back.

UNA'MET: You know, I imagine sometimes what it would've been like, if Septarsis was never destroyed. I'd be a small family medicine doctor, and you'd be a world-renowned thespian. You'd come home once in a blue moon to tell me about some award-winning play you're putting on for the Council, and I'd be like, "Cool! I diagnosed a guy with cancer today. Can't tell you anything about the person, confidentiality and all, but it was horrible."

NECAHUA laughs. 

UNA'MET: I wish you were the one changing the world, not me.

NECAHUA: Is that why you're so angry with me all the time?

UNA'MET: Angry. That's not how it is at all. It's just... you died for me, just like Cayeto. You died when we both should have lived. I wish you could have lived for me.

NECAHUA: Oh. If Dad had two anchors...

UNA'MET: ...he might be...

NECAHUA: Yeah. (They run their hands through their hair. They look at the shattered stone plate. They pick up a shard.) I'm sorry about this tablet.

UNA'MET: It's fine. (gets up) I've seen Dad, what should I do now?

NECAHUA: What?

UNA'MET: To hang out with my little sibling. 

NECAHUA: (Indignant) I'm older than you! (A telling pause) Let's go to the marketplace. I can't eat, or drink, or wear anything but pajamas, which I am very upset about, but I can give you the fashion advice you so desperately need. 

UNA'MET: Excuse me, I am not taking fashion advice from someone who died seven and a half centuries ago. 

NECAHUA: Fashion is timeless.

UNA'MET: It really isn't. Let's go.

The two leave out the door. A few moments later, they emerge into the outside, laughing and bickering. The sun shines.

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Ufff. What a day!

Mom’s not well. Seriously unwell. Yesterday I read to her for 2 1/2 hrs, but today I didn’t even get to speak to her because she was in so much pain. I am worried sick. Any day I don’t get to tell Mom I love her upsets me anyway, but this is obviously much worse.

For the fourth day in a row my right ear has been making irritating crackly/popping sounds. I’ve had tinnitus as long as I can remember, and I don’t mind that background hum too much. At least it’s steady. This comes and goes. This keeps making me look to see what I’m hearing, like it’s beside me. I go from “Is there a critter back there?” to, “Oh, wait. It’s me!”

I’d gotten up early to go do the shopping, a trip that did two things besides get necessities for the next two weeks.

First, I found out a guy I’ve been friendly with at one of the stores for more than a decade is probably racist. It was a vibe, a body language, a warmth shut down. Up until now I’d not seen him checking anyone out, since he usually was doing the grunt work of moving stuff. He’s always seemed okay with his coworkers, but the telling thing in life is how you treat strangers and those with no power over you. Not shocking for a white dude in the rural south, but depressing.

Second, I used up my money. Like all of it. I weighed buying kerosene for the hot water heater and getting gas for the pickup. I am so sick of boiling water, that I decided the pickup can stay parked for two weeks (after I move that big bookcase between houses.)

Putting the kerosene in the tank when I got home I discovered the work I did the other day had created TWO joints to leak, the settling filter to tilt too much to work properly, and the whole tank to lean too far.

Oh, and I’d forgotten to rebuild the cinderblock steps to reach the pour in hatch. Trying to fix it I squished a finger. It’s purple now. Like entire end of the finger is purple!

And the steps no longer got me high enough, so I needed a ladder.

I discovered that last bit when I spilled a LOT of kerosene. In my face. In my eyes!

My eyes aren’t happy, BTW, and are planning to remind me of this assault for a while.

The kerosene took forever to put in the tank. It shouldn’t take THAT long to go through the screen. That’s because it turned out to be full of junk, that I now hope hasn’t contaminated the tank too much more than it already was after all probably 70 years of non-stop use.

I went to Mom’s house intending to do little. Instead I moved the damn treadmill! It weighs a ton, has only two tiny wheels that barely turn at the front but legs at the back, and was an inch two wide to go where I intended to put it out of the way in the hall. I had to maneuver it out of the bedroom with no swinging room for all the stacks of books, and get it through the door even though the pole saw that I store up the stairs sticks across it. **

Okay, so it’s too big to turn the corners to any of the other down stair rooms, and’s WAY too heavy to carry upstairs (even if I had the space or someone to help me), so I get the brainstorm to move it into the shed. I only have to move everything in the front of the shed…

You know, stuff like the industrial pump and seeming miles of hose my brother got for working on the boat, a spool of rope for the boat that’s waist high, the broken lawnmower, three boxes of damn jelly no one will eat, and that sort of thing.

Then I just had to get it off the porch and across the yard without gashing the steps or wood of the porch, or digging a groove through the grass, or getting stuck, or….

The neighbor dog, the great dane that’s now my buddy came to help. By help I mean he went into the house while the door was blocked open and grabbed things to take away and shred in the front yard. Foam. Paper. Bags…

OMG! Is that the bottom of the lantern I was removing the dead batteries from??? NO!!!! Give it back!!! That isn’t a toy! STOP!!!

Replacing that lantern will cost me $40. If that dog broke it…

And I petted him. Because what does he know.

I “walked” the treadmill across the yard, waddling using the two tiny wheels. The dog ran over as it swung back and forth, and heavy as it was I couldn’t stop the swing. WHACK! Right into his poor head!

He seemed okay, and after a bit of comforting he was back to normal. Well, except now he had discovered a game of trying to leap over the swinging treadmill.

Lifting the front into the shed I hurt my back, though I wasn’t really aware until I was putting everything back in the shed on top of it.

Oh good. Now I just have to disassemble the shelves, haul them around, put the bookcase back together, fill the floor to ceiling bookcase, and then figure out where I can make space for another one.

I realized then something had gone with my ankle brace on the bad foot. I could barely put weight on it.

With the animals fed and the sun set I was ready to flop, when…the two pain in the ass cats stole my seat! Nony and Yow Yow are lovable as heck, or I sure as hell wouldn’t let them in, but GEEZ, I have one single chair to sit in in the shop house, and with the floor collapsed it will stay one. The least they could do is shove over….

Okay, my supper livened them up, even if it was nothing the would want to eat. I went to put them on the porch, and Yow Yow did her usual boneless flop, not even trying to put her feet under her, and letting her wet sack of a body block the door. Nony, being just the opposite, seemed to fly back into the house. This led to him running around the house, playing keep away, and chewing in the cord to the freakin’ space heater! I put him out and…

Yow Yow was back in the chair asleep!!!!

***sigh***

I can’t evict a sleeping cat. So I sit down by her and in seconds she is on top of me. Now I couldn’t reach the computer or my sculpey or go get a drink or… I mean, awwwww, she looks so cozy!

I’m worried, I’m tired, I’m hurting, and I’m grumpy.

And if I don’t get this cat off my lap I’m not going to get the hot water heater lit!

**It’s been “fun” carrying stuff out of that room stepping over the pole saw that’s knee level, unusually backwards because there was no space to turn around after I picked up the storage container. Stupid beloved books!

***I have four bookcases , three of them floor to ceiling metal ones like this, in my bedroom at the shop. But where can I put them in house packed with the contents of three houses? They need to go against a wall, since we are talking maximum filling. And it can’t be a wall that already has furniture against it or where that chimney leaks sometimes or near the heater. I’ve already got bookshelves in front of windows even, with paneling wedged in not to protect the glass like with a sane person, but to shield the books. Too many windows! I need a cave! LOL

[emilemily]

I don’t know what’s wrong with me and the doctors have no clue

I’ve always had bad blood circulation since I was a child. I vividly remember standing in the kitchen with my mother helping her cook and her pointing to my feet telling me “your legs and feet are beet red” and they’d feel itchy

In the last few months that has turned to red and purple with numb tingles yet an itchy feeling. I’ll compare my arm to my legs and it’s night and day. Red and purple with white spots. I have veins Neely enlarged and bulging on my right leg

I have such severe fatigue I rarely leave my bed because when I stand up I get so lightheaded and dizzy my vision goes black and I fall to the floor where I lay, blinking until the dark static clears and I can get myself up again. My heart rate spikes in the moment I go from laying down to standing

My hair is falling out more and I don’t have an appetite anymore. I have to force myself to eat and even so, cooking is difficult because standing to do so causes my legs to go red and purple and I get dizzy. I’ve moved a chair into the kitchen which helps, but at the same time my fatigue is so bad that my arms feel as if they weigh 30 pounds along with my legs. I’ve lost a lot of weight.

I run low grade fevers at night. I get tremors in my legs, weird involuntary movements. Sometimes my brain is confused. I drop things often which I never did before.

My chest feels tight, as if I have 1000 pounds of weight on it and I struggle to get a deep breath most days. Even walking into the next room leaves me winded as if I just went for a stroll outside.

My legs and feet & arms and hands are always cold no matter the temperature of the room or what I’m wearing. Even when I have a blanket on.

This is so sudden and abrupt. The last 6 months it really started. I went from relatively healthy to whatever this is, and I’m realizing I’m not truly depressed. I’m just fatigued and not well and it’s hard to be super happy when you struggle to just take your dogs for a walk.

When I walk my schnauzers I start getting chest pains and realize that my heart is beating so fast I’m surprised it doesn’t stop. I squat down and rest and it slows down until I stand again

Read all about how many people with similar symptoms die within 10 years and it was sort of sobering.

I’m not sure if I’m going to live to see 40 and be the bad bitch mom I always wanted to be. The mom to break generational curses. The mom to help guide my children into being what I never had the resources to be.

Or the loving wife I always wanted to be.

Or the woman I’ve dreamed of becoming.

If I die young, I’ll have died only knowing this short life filled with a lot of unhappiness, trauma, substance abuse, general unease, and uncertainty about my future.

And that is what haunts me. I was always so terrified of growing old, and now I’m staring an untimely death in the face.

It may happen, it may not. I’m not scared of it anymore. Sometimes it feels relieving because the weight of this world has always been so heavy. I have no idea how to exist as others do. I never have.

I am an incredibly broken human being. One that struggles to heal. Some believe that negativity in life manifests in physical ailments.

Created a plan for calling the ambulance should I go into cardiac arrest or stroke. I’ve been coached on all the symptoms to watch out for. Today I felt chest pain and some pain down the right side of my jaw as I brushed my teeth. I was terrified for a moment and sat down and it went away.

That was one of the signs I’m supposed to watch for, but I didn’t do anything about it. It’s almost like I’m more scared to live through a stroke and be a vegetable than of death itself.

Missed my Dr. appt last week because I forgot what day it was. It has been pushed to August because Medicaid is backed up beyond all reason currently.

If I continue to see increased severity as I have the last week or so, I’m just going to go to the ER and ask them to run whatever tests they can and please help me. Maybe they’ll be more useful than my doctors. Maybe they won’t. I don’t care how much debt I rack up there anymore. I don’t care.

If I’m going to die, so be it. But I want to know about it first. I want to make peace with my demons and my whys and my woes. I want to make peace with the things I’ve always pushed off. I want time to accept that I’m not going to live a long life.

I want to write poetry about the family I will never have, about the love I’ve felt and lost in this life, about those who crossed me, about my dogs, about the people who unconditionally loved me, about the people who didn’t, about my mom.

Every time I call her she tells me I don’t look good and urges me to go to the ER. She cries and yells “Emily, don’t you know you could die?!”

Mama, trust me. I’m more aware of that than anyone given the fact that I live inside this faulty meat suit. I feel the indicators of that every single day.

The check engine light only came on a few months ago. I just need more time to sort out what’s wrong with it.

Either way, I feel peace in a way. Whatever the outcome, I’ve fought like hell to get right here where I am, even if here isn’t perfect.

I’d hoped to have achieved more if I was going to kick in at this age. But I’ll take what I got.

Nighty night

[babylove007]

I Woke Up Looking Through A Skewer

Orville's favourite store was Princess Auto in Whitby When I speak of a mechanic's heat gun, I mean one of these

Anyway, I remember waking up to a skewer through my left eye In was inserted through the bottom of my nose My right eye might have been stuck But eventually both eyes were open and there was a skewer In each side of my nose

It was two long ones of these.

In the <3 months of knowing Wayne, he held up two chop sticks asking if I remembered Orville doing this to me, sitting at the kitchen table at the 2 Bedroom Apt on Lasalle Court. He made an ex with the silver chop sticks and said he was going to do the same thing to my mom. He used his left arm and thumb to point to the kitchen. I can remember if mom was in the kitchen or here room, but at somepoint she walked out of her room to the kitchen. Anyway, "Drop The Stigma Wayne" with the pony tail, working at The Hub Should probably be reconsidered for working with your vulnerable/sleepy citizens.

Also, I consider the heat gun, Because while the tiny mole on my left eye was a cut qtip burnt into it, The place by my nose is only red, sunken in, With a cluster of tiny white hard pebbles, half above the skin Also, the tiny red and purple spider veins around my nose Are reflections of how he studied me in my "sleep" Ask a long time biology/physics teacher, or an autopsy guy. Or have a science in the class room at the cop shop. Experiments are fun and educational. And so are the clicking math blocks for teaching tools. Then we can clear the team lines at KGH AND arrange transport to Toronto for treatment. I was born at Centenary if that helps. Sufficient staff is priceless. I remember walking up to his red and silver Rainbow shaped clamp tool above my eyes Like when you lay on one of the Memorial Park saucer swings And the blue arch is in the way of the night sky

You can see the clamp circles. You can feel them with your thumb. He started cracking brittle bones for sport the way as person cracks your knuckles. I can crack my feet and that old tibia fracture. Everything else just happens like it is being done all over again. He knew when the bones were impressionable, and then brittle enough to fuckin crack and shift.

I flipped it incase the mirrors aren't reflecting correctly I'm sucks you let me get hit in front of you and others After I got to Kingston in Sept/Oct 2023 It sucks the entire line of staff at KGH the night I arrived in an ambulance under "Allyce Yiseman", did not get physically fuckin' leveled in front of me

I am sad to be the weird person on the bus, making c shapes and throwing up branch like gang signs, but that's where the bone cracks are, and the cancer pebbles are moving and collecting through.

Tylenol is insufficient for the pain. Meals are insufficient for a body that has given up trying, It is not pulling the nutrients to do the rest of the work. It is not even pulling the nutrients to bruise up my broken feet. Should I stop smoking, or should I stop sleeping? Existing. Existing is what I want to stop doing. ---------------------------------------------------- Not even a depression pill - a fake happy pill, Can trick this vessel into fake healing It will likely just disintegrate and collect like masses & pebbles in my head. More harm, more cancer pebbles. Should I stop smoking, or should I stop sleeping? Existing. Existing is what I want to stop doing. Existing is what I asked to stop doing. https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/health-services-benefits/medical-assistance-dying.html Within my fucking rights to say good night, By law and by fuckin' virtue

[emotionally-eager-assistant]

“I don’t think I remember the last time I saw a family member. When I joined this job the lady in the purple dress had told me that I would have to cut contact with my family, that this job would require distance. I remember asking ‘why?’ because I couldn’t fathom that idea. I thought this was a simple job, it was to run errands.”

[The woman pauses, trying to figure out her words. Carefully picking at one or the other.]

“To be fair, maybe I should have asked why the pay was so high. I joined because it was high pay, it would help my family, and I’ll admit it does help. From the snooping I’ve done, my mom is doing better, and my father retired. They live off the money I make, and I feel happy. They never did have the best life. They could never afford to give me and my brother a good life, but they really tried. I’m happy that they’re happy. That is all I ever wanted. And my brother,

My brother.

I miss him. I think he’d be disappointed in what I’m doing. This job. The pain I’ve caused and the blood I’ve shed. I don’t think he’d be very happy. But a dead man can’t be upset, so I’m not sure why I think so much about it. Why do I get upset at the prospect of him being upset with me?

Maybe because I miss him?

He was the one who taught me morals and who helped me gain a sense of self. He taught me to be kind, and I think this job erased all of that.”

[She stared at the camera quietly, hearing the whirr of its mechanisms. She frowned and ran a hand through her hair.]

“I regret this job. I really do. I wish I could take it all back. All the contracts I’ve given, all the men I’ve sent to get themselves killed. All the people I killed.” [She speaks mournfully, the frown deepening] “I regret it all.

...

I should burn this before Miss Pauling finds it.” [As if on queue she can hear her name being called out, the door to her room opened to reveal a shorter woman with her hair tied up and glasses on her button nose. She bore a purple dress, a belt wrapped snuggly around her waist as she shifted the papers in her arms.]

“Are you recor-” [The video cuts off with a snap.]

—

[Miss Gi stood over the open flame of the camera she had used. When Miss Pauling walked in she panicked, unsure of what to do, she had taken the contracts offered to her and shooed the shorter woman out of her room. Maybe she overreacted, she didn’t need to burn the entire camera did she???]

[Guess it was back to documenting stuff in her notebook.]

[She shifted awkwardly, unsure of what to do now. She felt a creeping nerve at the prospect of recording the video but almost always documented things, and it just happened to be something she wanted to document. She feared the video would be found and lord if it was found she didn’t need to know that she could be terminated. Quite literally.]

[She felt guilty. Guilty about what? The people she's killed? The men she's sent to get themselves killed? She didn't know if she had the right to feel guilty. She was willingly sending them to death. So why was she feeling guilt, now of all times?] "Esto es estúpido." [She hissed, kicking a clump of sand in frustration.]

[morganablack]

This is a short story I have written, Ik it’s not the best, please be kind <3

The doggy plushie

Clothes everywhere. Dust flying into the air makes me cough as it tries to make its way into my lungs. Shoes hanging onto the corner of the bed, my favorite pair of sneakers that I had since I was fourteen; I begged my parents a month before they agreed in the end to buy them for me. I was so happy that I wore them all the time, to school, to the park, even when it was raining and my mom would scold me that I would catch a cold if my feet got wet. A smile makes its way onto my lips as I gaze at the worn sneakers, but it quickly fades away as my attention is turned towards the state of my room. It's a complete, almost impressive mess. Clothes, books, jewelry, shoes, purses, sketchbooks thrown all over the place, waiting to be sorted into the boxes next to me.

The reason why my room is a disaster is because in two days I will be moving out of my childhood home and I need to be done with all the packing, preferably today. Well, that's what I was hoping for, but now I realize it might be impossible to do it in a day.

I huff as I lift a box off the ground, having the intention to start with sorting the books, but my cat thought it would be fun to choose that exact moment to jump in front of my feet. Yelping, I try to avoid her and accidentally I step on something sharp. I curse as my balance is completely lost and a second to late I realize that I’m falling face forward towards my cupboard. I put my arm in front of my face to protect it and I scream as the sharp corner of the cupboard makes contact with it.

Naturally, I end up on the floor. I try to move my hand a bit, but I scream in pain and quickly stop it. It's red and swollen, a purple bruising waiting to form where it made contact with the cupboard. Great. This is the last thing I need now, a possibility of a broken arm.

I hear a meow next to me and turn to glare at my cat, who looks completely unbothered by all of this. She licks her paws and looks back at me with curious eyes. The brat broke my hand! And no one is home to help me!

With tears in my eyes, I try to get up, since I can’t wait laying on the floor all day. With my good hand I grab onto the cupboard that I fell into, trying to use it as support to get up. I’m almost up when, by mistake, I slightly open a drawer. Curiosity wins me over so I glance inside for a second and my breath is stolen right from my lungs, leaving me gasping for air. Inside, at the very bottom, is my old doggy plush, worn out, the fur dirty and sticky in places, its neck hanging limp from all the squeezing it suffered from my tiny hands. Tears make their way into my eyes for an entirely different reason and a sob is ripped from my core, memories flashing before my eyes, capturing my mind.

I remember something. I remember.

Fresh air in my face.

Green grass under my feet.

The sun beaming down on me, the joyful screams of other children running through the park, some older, some younger than me. Some with their parents, some with friends, all laughing. Suddenly I’m flying, the ground getting smaller as I look down. A shriek leaves my tiny lips and I wave my limbs around in a futile attempt to escape, but strong hands hold me tight, safe. Doesn’t matter how much I wiggle my body, my captor keeps holding me close and I’m placed next to a strong chest, warm. My eyes drift up and I’m met with deep brown ones, so full of love.

‘Easy there, princess. I’ve got you, no need to panic.” That voice.

It brings me comfort.

I’m safe here.

A word blossoms in my throat and I yell as loud as I can, letting the world know who this person is, he is mine, he is my...

‘Daddy!’

In a flash, the scene shifts. I’m in a room with pink walls, a princess curtain, to

come along with the princess carpet. The furniture has a funny toy that doesn’t let me open it, only the grown ups can, and the corners are soft to the touch. Mommy always looks alarmed when I run into them, but I know they can’t hurt me.

I’m on the floor, helping my friend Barbie get ready for prom. Ken is supposed to come pick her up soon and she can’t decide what pair of heels to wear. I told her several times to just wear the sparkly ones, cause sparks go with everything, but she says they are too much. Honestly, she is so complicated sometimes!

‘Hey there princess, what are you doing down there?’ a voice asks as a shadow looms over me. As I look up, my eyes light up and I laugh.

‘Dwaddy!’

He smiles and sits down next to me, a hand behind his back. I start explaining to

him how annoying Barbie is, that Ken is starting to be late and she is getting worried, the shoes she picked don’t go along with her outfit at all and her hair is starting to come undone. Daddy nods and agrees with everything I said, which is obvious, since I was right. Daddy is smart.

‘Well princess, I have a present for you. To make up for the week I was gone’ he says as a toy is pushed into my hands. It’s a dog plushie, with brown fur, but a white belly. His paws are white too, so it looks like he is wearing boots.

I know about the time daddy is talking about. He disappeared for a week, even though mommy said he was gone with work and would soon come back, I didn't believe her. I cried non-stop, so sure that daddy was never coming back. A part of me felt sorry because mommy was trying her best to console me and of course I love mommy, but my tiny was breaking apart, not feeling safe anymore. Daddy was safe and he wasn't here, so the safe was gone and it was scary. When he came back, I glued myself to him for the whole day, to make sure he would stay.

Well, anyway, daddy is making up for that time now and the doggy is looking nice, so I guess I can forgive him in the end.

‘A doggwy! Twank yu daddy!’ I wobbly get up and jump into his arms. He laughs and draws me close, filling me with warmth.

‘ I love you princess’

And just like that, the present comes back to me. I’m full out sobbing now, my

body trembling as emotions fill my heart, making me squeeze my eyes shut. If someone asked me why I’m crying, I couldn’t possibly explain. Am I happy? Sad? Overjoyed? Melancolic? I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m happy remembering all those beautiful memories or if I’m grieving their passing, my youth gone and responsibilities making their way into my life, strangling me.

Distantly, I hear the front door open, footsteps coming my way, but my brain is too stuffed to fully register that, until a soft voice is heard over my sobs.

‘Princess? Are you okay? What happened?’ my dad asks with a worried look, his eyes moving frankly over my trembling body. I can see his own body shake with the need to come close, but he refrains, not knowing if that is allowed or not. Silly dad. Maybe he isn’t as smart as I thought he was.

‘Daddy!’ I cry even harder as I open my good arm in a clear invitation. In a second he is on the floor with me, pulling me into his arms, mindful of my hurt arm. I bury my head in his chest and the only thing that runs through my head is safe. I’m safe.

[from-a-reckless-writer]

here's me jumping into the bandwagon :D

(read on ao3)

It's just after sunset when Kara finally gives in. She veers off from her patrol down to a route she knows by heart.

The moment she lands, the first thing she notices is how the sliding doors are a fraction open. It’s a small thing, nothing to even be thrilled about, yet still, her drumming heart cannot be helped.

"Knock, knock," she says, stepping inside.

Her heart turning anxious when she takes in the sight in front of her. The room is a mess; books on the floor, drawers open, Lena’s frazzled appearance. She's standing over a suitcase thrown open in the middle of the bed, a mountain of clothes on top of it.

She was told that Lena was going on a trip, that it would probably take three weeks tops.

Packing for a trip doesn’t look like this, this looks a lot like... leaving.

Going on a trip, Kara remembers that’s what her family told her too.

You and Kal are going on a trip but you don’t have to worry, we’ll be with you the rest of the way, they told her.

A trip implies there would be a home to come back to. And Kara believed it. She believed it for a total of ten seconds before her planet exploded and a shard of her home knocked her off-course.

"Need some help?" Her voice doesn’t tremble. Kara considers that a miracle, really.

"I didn't know Supergirl helped poor hapless women pack suitcases,” Lena retorts, walking over to her and kissing her cheek in greeting. It doesn't go unnoticed by Kara how clingy Lena's been since she's been back.

"Well, I wouldn’t exactly consider you poor and hapless," Kara counters.

"I may have had a slight,” Lena pinches her thumb and forefinger together, “panic over which and what to pack earlier.”

Yeah, Kara can definitely see that.

"Good thing I’m here then?”

"It's always good whenever you're around,” Lena says in such a casual way and it’s like the past year didn’t happen. As if it has always been this good. And...is this even allowed? This much affection from Lena? All the sweet words, the gentle touches, and the constant close proximity? It shouldn’t be allowed, not if it will be taken from her almost immediately after.

Unfair, is what it is.

******

“Okay, so why don’t we just move this out here yeah?” Kara voices, leaning over and hugging the lump of clothes to her chest, dumps it out from the suitcase and onto Lena’s pillows.

Lena’s fabric conditioner filling Kara’s senses entirely. For a brief moment, she considers stealing one of Lena’s shirts then and there. Something to tide her through once Lena leaves.

“Great. You’re on folding duty then,” Lena declares, “I’ll just go sort my babies, quickly. I’ll be right back.”

(Her 'babies' being the thick books lining every inch of this place.)

Lena disappears through the door. The domesticity of it all pulling at Kara’s chest.

In another world, where life ran a little differently, Kara would be packing their suitcases for a trip to Argo, or maybe one of the planets she’s always wanted Lena to see, or maybe it’d be nothing that grand. Maybe, just a trip back to Midvale. Lena would read to her on the whole drive there, her hair whipping from the winds down coastal roads.

Maybe not even a trip. Maybe in this other world, she’s assigned on folding duty, while Lena tinkers around their house. Maybe, even a dog or a cat. Maybe, something small at first, just an aquarium of fishes.

She doesn’t notice how deep into the fantasy she’s gotten till Lena speaks up from the door.

"My, my, CatCo would pay a million dollars to see this."

"Uh-"

"Supergirl found in bed, folding Lena Luthor's undies."

Kara looks down at her hand. She’s holding a lacy purple panty, she spots the matching bra laying a few inches away. She drops it lightning quick, feels her face flush.

"Oh, Rao. Lena, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to- I wasn't- It was just there and I-"

"Relax, Kara. I was just teasing,” Lena reassures her, she’s got three books tucked in her arms, she lays them down on the bed, before picking up the underwear Kara’s dropped and folding it neatly.

The contrast of the dark fabric against Lena’s pale fingers makes Kara flush an even brighter red.

Kara tries hard to exclude Lena's lacy panties in her fantasy.

She fails.

******

They give up on packing entirely two hours later. An all out pillow fight breaks out somewhere between Kara fishing out her favorite hoodie from the pile--discovering t'was not in fact missing like she thought it was--and Lena denying that she stole it.

They’ve fallen right on top of Lena’s clothes. Laying opposite each other, Lena lying upside down, her feet propped up on the pillows, toes touching the headboard, whilst Kara’s legs dangle at the end of the bed. Their heads close together.

From this angle, she can see the defined slope of Lena’s nose; stares at the way her lashes curl every time she blinks.

“So, what do you think you’ll find there?” Kara breathes out into the silence.

“I don’t really know,” Lena whispers.

“Let me rephrase then; what do you want to find?”

“I- I don’t know either.”

She tries to crane her neck to take a better look at Lena. Her eyes are closed, and it takes every ounce of self-control for Kara not to lean over and just press a kiss to Lena’s lips. It would be so, so easy. She settles for shifting just a bit closer instead, their temples touching.

It’s good enough.

“That’s okay," Kara murmurs, "not knowing is part of the adventure, right?”

She tries not to think about how she isn’t really part of this adventure. It isn’t about her, really. Kara’s decided the next three days will be about Lena. Kara will have time for breaking down once Lena leaves. The three days pales in comparison to how much Lena’s sacrificed in getting her back.

“I guess so.” she hears Lena say.

On the ceiling, Kara sees two shadows dancing with each other, tries not to look too deep into it.

And then,

“I had Jess trace down a couple of documents for me,”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. There’s an orphanage that could help me, she thinks.”

Kara’s ears perk up at that, she imagines Lena as a small child crying for her mom and then being whisked away from everything she ever knew. Kara wishes she could hold that little girl’s hand. Why did nobody hold Lena’s hand through it all? Kara wonders if somebody did, would Lena even have met her? Would she have needed somebody like Kara in her life? She likes to believe that Lena would still have met her. A reality without Lena was too painful, Kara knows all too well.

“Is that where you’re going to visit first?”

“Yeah.”

A brief silence engulfs them.

“Hey, Kara,” Lena calls out. “Do you think-”

There’s a deep exhale and a sigh.

“Do I think what?”

“Do you think my mom would want me to find her again? Do you think she’s proud of me?”

The question was so full of uncertainty and insecurity and there's nothing that Kara wants more than to just wrap around Lena and tell her how goddamn amazing she is.

“Oh, Lena," Kara whispers, "your mom would be so happy if you found her. I’d even say she’s been waiting for you. And of course, she’s proud of you!” Kara sits up at this, can’t contain all her awe for Lena.

“You’re amazing! Have you met you? Your mom would be so proud of you. I just know it, Lena.”

Lena opens her eyes, smiles shyly at her, reaches up to cup Kara’s cheek. Even though the angle is awkward, Kara feels her entire being light up at the touch.

“Thank you. You always know just what to say.”

Kara's right hand comes up to keep Lena’s hand steady, before tilting slowly to press a kiss to her palm.

She registers the up-tick in her heartbeat before letting go and laying back down again.

Kara’s beginning to understand, now. Lena doesn’t want to wonder anymore, maybe if she knew where she came from, who she could’ve been, and what kind of life she could’ve led, existing wouldn’t be as hard as it is now. Maybe Lena wanted to know that a Luthor isn’t all that she is. Even though Kara has repeated again and again that she is so much more. Lena needs to figure that out for herself, Kara guesses.

Maybe, Lena finally needs a name other than what has been ingrained in her. Maybe Lena needs to name the parts of herself she never had before.

“Maybe you came from a family of thieves,” Kara murmurs, closing her eyes too.

“Kara.” she feels Lena shift, she opens one eye to see Lena propped on her elbows leaning over her. “Are you saying you think being a hoodie thief is genetic?”

“You never know, Lena you never know,” Kara manages to say, her brain a loop of, Lena’s eyes are so pretty, so pretty, so pretty, her hair smells so nice, please kiss me, please kiss-

Kara closes her eyes again to make the chanting stop.

“You do know I'm a scientist, right?”

“Mm. Doesn’t make you any less of a hoodie thief.”

That earns her a pillow on the face.

“Personally, I think you’re some lost princess though," Kara divulges.

Lena lets out a loud incredulous laugh at that.

“What?" Lena blurts out, "You think I’m a princess?”

There’s a cheesy pick-up line there somewhere that Kara chooses to ignore.

“Well, you have the whole Snow White look down to a T, after all. Pale skin, dark hair. The whole ensemble really.”

"I can't believe I'm agreeing to this," Lena groans, “but, I think you might be right. God, I even have the whole evil stepmother-stepbrother dynamic down. Does that make you one of my dwarfs?”

“Dwarf? Really? Lena, really?”

She’s glad to learn that Lena had picked up a thing or two from their Disney marathons. That doesn’t mean Kara appreciates being called a dwarf though. She sits up and leans back on her elbows too; their faces inches from each other now. Lena’s eyes gleaming with mischief.

“You turn into Grumpy when someone eats your ice cream.”

Kara gasps, clutches her heart as if wounded and falls down dramatically. Lena just laughs at her, lies down again before asking, “Think I’ll find Prince Charming there, then?”

“You don’t need Prince Charming.”

I’m right here.

“True,” Lena agrees. Lena doesn’t need anybody, although would it really hurt if she says that she needed Kara the way Kara needs her?

“Ireland seems like the best place to run off into the sunset though," Lena wonders aloud.

“Is that what you wanna do?” Kara asks, “Just run off into the sunset?”

Because, because, if it is, I can do something even better. I can fly you off into the sunset. All you have to do is ask. Her heart is galloping in her chest and she’s grateful that out of the two of them, she’s the only one with super hearing.

“No, I don’t think so,” Lena answers and Kara lets out a none too subtle breath of relief.

“You don’t have to search for a home, you know,” Kara whispers. She just- She just needs Lena to know this, okay?

“I know,” Lena answers. “I still need to do this though.”

Once Lena Luthor makes up her mind there’s no changing it, it’s something Kara’s come to know through the years.

“You’ll come back soon though?”

“Maybe. Honestly, Kara? I don’t really know about ‘soon’. How close is ‘soon’ anyway? Would there even be a good reason for me to come back?”

How Kara held her all screams in the moment Lena said that, she doesn’t know.

******

There are balloons and cake and confetti but it doesn’t feel anything remotely close to a party.

It feels more something along the lines of, train wreck and heartbreak and building on fire. In short, disaster.

She vaguely registers Kelly asking her to hover and hang the banner. Why would she want to hang a banner screaming “We”ll Miss You!” in glittering blue? Kara grabs the ends of it and hangs it up anyway.

We’ll Miss You doesn't even begin to cover Kara’s feelings about Lena’s departure and oncoming absence.

But then again, this isn’t about her.

The door buzzes before Kara can spiral down her blackhole again.

Andrea comes in through the door with a bottle of champagne, which she hands off to Kara along with her coat. Kara fumbles after Andrea.

This isn’t CatCo! I’m not your employee! And champagne? Really? What is there to celebrate?

Lena arrives shortly after and streamers are let out. They make in-jokes and everyone’s laughing and Alex keeps telling Lena to bring home ‘some of the good stuff’ and Brainy keeps asking if he’s allowed to tinker with Lena’s projects while she's away, and Nia’s handing Lena an old film camera, “Document everything for me? Alright?" and Kara’s trying, she really, really is.

Even though she can’t understand how all of them are happy and smiling at the thought of Lena leaving them.

She doesn’t even notice what she’s doing till she’s bracing herself for take-off out in Lena’s balcony, when a hand lands on her wrist.

“Hey.” Lena anchors her back to the ground. It’s a mistake to turn and meet Lena’s eyes.

“Stay? Please?” Lena asks.

Unfair, Kara thinks again. It’s unfair that she gets to ask that.

******

Kara stays.

She stays till the lights are off, the blankets drawn and Lena’s snoring in her arms.

She’s eyeing the suitcase at the corner of the room.

I forgive you, she thinks, I forgive you for taking my heart in the suitcase you packed.

She didn’t even know it was trapped inside till Lena’s zipping everything up and Kara couldn’t breathe.

“Please, please, don’t go,” she pleads into the dark. .

Lena shifts, mumbles incoherently and burrows deeper into Kara.

******

The runway is shimmering after the early morning drizzle, and Lena Luthor looks like someone from a magazine, standing there in her velvet coat and aviators. There’s only the two of them, and there’s a smug pride in Kara about the fact that Lena didn’t want anybody here but her.

She’s leaving today. In a few hours, they’ll be on different continents. Kara wouldn’t be able to trace her heartbeat anymore. Lena made her promise not to chase the plane. She’s still pretty bummed about that.

“You know I’m gonna call you everyday, right?” Kara mutters in her ear, arms wrapped tight around Lena.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from Kara Danvers.” Lena squeezes back, before pulling away.

“G-good.”

“Well, this is my ride,” Lena tells her, gestures to the jet behind her. “This is goodbye then.”

“For now.” Kara insists.

“For now.” Lena confirms, “Goodbye, for now.”

She turns to go but Kara can’t-

“Lena, wait.”

She tugs on Lena’s hand and she comes back to her willingly. Before Kara loses the nerve, she presses into Lena’s lips. She cups her face gently, feels the warmth of the sun on her cheeks, feels the moment Lena’s brain catches up to what’s happening.

It doesn’t taste like goodbye, Kara realizes. It tastes like a promise of something more.

“What was that for?” Lena breathes out, Kara can hear their hearts hammering in sync.

“Your reason to come back home.”

[special shoutout to @mssirey who gave great writing advice to this poor hapless writer（〃｀ 3′〃）i kith u on the forehead. ]

[biostris]

Please any and eberythign for Guzma with a nonbinary reader who is going to cut their hair short? I know I am gonna do it in an it a week and I know I am finally gonna look more like ME but I also know that lots of the people at the place I work at are gonna be like " But you were so PRETTY with your long hair ):" and it's hard to not feel a bit self conscious

A/N: I whole heartedly feel your pain, when I wanted to cut my hair short my mom did everything she could to stop it but I got it anyways and have had my hair short for some time now!! You’ll look wonderful im sure of it!!

Again no gif because tumblr hates me.

:Guzma X NB! Reader HC’s- Haircut:

You had finally made the decision to bite the bullet and cut your hair, you were sick of the feeling that your long hair gave you, not only was the up keep stupid and expensive but also you didn’t think it really fit you

You didn’t mention it to the gang due to the poor responses you had gotten at work, most of which sadly brought up your assigned birth and made things even more bleh-

Even though the squad would never, and they would beat those peoples asses!! But in your mind it was better safe than sorry :(

The day the appointment was made came and you had told Guzma and plumes you were going out to get some groceries and do other things with your pokemon too

Guzma tried to come a long, being the subtly cling man he is but plumes held him back for you as you skedaddled out the door and off to get your hair whacked!

The appointment wasn’t too long and at the end of it you felt fresh, happy and finally you felt like you!! It was such a euphoric feeling as you stepped into the Alolan sun and felt the cool breeze tickle the back of your neck

You came home and immediately the crew was showering you with compliments, both directly and indirectly

“Woah they look so cool!!”

“Way to rock the new do (y/n)!”

It brought a big happy goofy grin to your face to hear so many compliments but you felt nervous about Guzmas reaction. After all some folks didn’t have the best reactions to decisions such as this

When you stepped into his throne room he was of course initially shocked but he jumped up to his feet to greet you asap

He gave you a little kiss on your nose and began to run his fingers through your shorter locks with wonder “I like it! It looks good on you lightning bug!”

Hearing his approval and support made you so happy, especially as he played with your hair, “now if we can only convince you to dye it!! I think you’d look cool in purple.” He jested earning a soft punch from you on his pudge

The whole day Guzma and the crew complimented you and treated you like a monarch. Guzma also helps you do at home cuts for when moneys tight or you just don’t want to get out of the house and even sometimes for the fun of it styles it like his

At the end of the day, long hair, short hair or even no hair he loves you all the same

[hanniiesuckle17]

Ateez Reaction: Their Kid Gets Sick in the Middle of The Night

A/n: I love parent!ateez. Anything domestic im just like *heart eyes* also dont mind my weird petnames for kids. i just....i love kids......*sigh* anywayyyyyy hope you guys enjoy! im going to be writing for ateez and the other groups on my m.list alot more 

S/n: Son’s name      D/n: Daughter’s name

Pairing: Reader x OT8 

Genre: fluff, slight angst, parent!au

Warnings: cussing?, descriptions of sick children (colds and flus, etc), fem reader

WC: 5k (overall)  about 640-ish on average

Tag List: @woodiegochile @mini-meanhoe @leggomylino @hanstagrams @desertofdessert @hoes4hoseok @jeonqqin @geminirules @mrsunshine999 @jisungsjheekies @hannie-squirrel00 @cotccotc @kodzu-ken @konenichi @yangs-jeongin @binniebutter @orangegyu @little-precious-baby @yourdaddychan​  

Hongjoong:

You were in the perfect spot. A dreamless sleep had taken over your mind a few hours ago and you were perfect content pressed up against Hongjoong’s chest, his arms wrapped around your middle. His leg was tossed over yours and you were swaddled in a perfect cocoon of his warmth.

The blissful sleep of you and your husband was soon interrupted by a weak poke to your cheek. A second light jab forced your eyes open. In the dark room you could barely make out the shape of your three-year-old son. Lifting your head up, you checked the time- 1:04- and then over to your husband who was still fast asleep. 

Pulling away from your husband’s hold, you turned on the bedside light only to be met with the tearstained face of S/n. “Oh- Goose! What’s wrong?” Your son only cried more and reached out for you. Completely sitting up in bed, you pulled him into your arms- gently stroking his hair. You noticed the back of his neck was cold with sweat. 

“Baby? Everything okay?” Hongjoong mumbled, pushing himself off the mattress slightly. 

“Daddy.....don’t feel good,” Your toddler said between cries. You continued to tenderly rub his back in hopes of calming your son. “Head....” S/n mumbled, tiny hands pawing at his crown. 

Hongjoong now joined you fully sitting up. His dark eyes blinked rapidly trying to push away the edges of sleep still clouding his brain. Your husband motioned for you to pass over his son and you obliged. S/n cuddled up in his father’s lap - clawing at his shirt. “Baby, could you get the thermometer from the bathroom?” He asked, hand on his son’s little forehead. 

Your mind was still foggy, but nonetheless, you got up and half jogged to the bathroom. Still tired, you fumbled through the cabinets looking for the thermometer. After a few minutes you returned, the instrument in hand. Hongjoong took it, thanking you softly. The two of you waited while the thermometer read your child’s temperature. S/n’s head was resting deliriously on your husband’s shoulder.

When Hongjoong took out the thermometer, your S/n groaned, nuzzling further into his dad’s chest. “Tummy hurts, daddy...” You almost felt hurt yourself, not being able to help your son’s pain. Reaching out you rubbed his back and looked to your lover for what to do. 

A tired look rested on his face. The singer sighed looking down at the tiny instrument. “103.1,” Running a hand through your hair, you got up from the bed and grabbed a jacket for yourself and your son. “Hey, buddy. We’re going to take a little trip okay?” Hongjoong whispered to his son who was still crying from his head and stomachache. 

“The doctor is going to make you feel all better, Goose.” You sleepily sang, more comforting yourself than S/n.  The handsome man got up from your shared bed, still carrying your sick toddler, and headed into the living room with you quickly following. 

“Let’s go to the hospital. Y/n where are my keys?” Hongjoong, laced his fingers with yours after you grabbed his keys and the three of you ventured down to the car. “ The one on Ddobong St is closest right?” 

Seonghwa:

The cries of your baby girl woke you from a night of sweet sleep. Untangling yourself from your husband’s slumbering arms you rolled out of bed. With a sluggish gait, you walked into the nursery and hummed to your screaming daughter.

“Shhhh, baby- Daddy is sleeping,” You whispered, picking her up from the crib.

Any sleep your partner got was worth more than anything else you could give him. The sooner you could calm your daughter the more likely he stayed asleep. the one-year-old girl in your arms continued to cry, almost screaming in your ear. 

You stroked her hair in hopes of calming the distressed child. The skin of her forehead felt hot against your palm and you pressed it fully against her forehead. “Oh- I’m sorry, love!” Scolding your tired mind for not realizing sooner, you carried your crying daughter into the bathroom to grab a thermometer. 

Laying D/n back down in the crib, you lifted her nightgown and tucked the instrument under her arm, and waited for it to beep. The baby girl’s cries had quieted a little but remained constant and unrelenting. Finding she had a temperature you rushed to the medicine cabinet. All the bottles and labels blurred together in your sleepy vision. 

Finding one that fit D/n’s symptoms you grabbed a spoon and the bottle. You poured the dark purple colored liquid onto the spoon and tried to coax your daughter into opening her mouth to take the medicine. Instead, the baby girl cried louder, the smell of the medicine floating down into her tiny nostrils. “D/n, baby....please take the medicine! Don’t wake up daddy.” You pleaded in a hushed tone. 

“Don’t worry about waking me up.” A smooth, but sleepy voice said from the hallway. 

Seonghwa shuffled into the room, eyes tired but soft and hair fluffy and sticking up in random places. A tiny smile lighted onto his lips. “Hwa, I’m sorry- I was trying to handle it but she won’t take the medicine.” Your husband shrugged and waddled over to the crib. 

You let him take the spoon from your hand and carefully place it on the nearby table. He sleepily kissed your forehead before turning to his crying daughter. “Can you take her?” He asked gently picking her up and passing the child to you. 

Your husband turned back to the crib, grabbing something, leaving you with a screaming baby. The handsome man returned with his daughter’s favorite plushie in hand. His longer fingers pushed the arms to look like the toy was waving. “D/n, open your mouth please!” He chirped in a goofy voice. 

The little girl refused, shaking her head. She continued to cry in your arms, pushing away the stuffed animal. Your husband was not discouraged and instead gently picked up the medicine filled spoon with nimble fingers. 

“Hi, princess!” Seonghwa sang in a cute and happy voice. His free hand moved up to make bunny ears on top of his head. “Will you take the magic potion for daddy?” D/n’s cries trickled to stop and she sniffed, watching her father do all sorts of sleepy but sincere aegyo. 

“D/n, do you want the magic potion?” You whispered in her ear with a smile. 

The little girl nodded, rubbing her eyes. Seonghwa smiled and moved the spoon like an airplane before letting his daughter take the medicine. She gagged at the taste, crying a little at the bitterness. Her tears quickly stopped when she was wrapped up in her father’s arms. 

Her little fingers held on tightly to his shirt as his hand protectively held her to his chest. “Let’s go back to bed,” He whispered, letting his other hand envelope yours. “D/n, let's go sleep in mommy and daddy’s room, huh?”

Nestling your face in Seonghwa’s shoulder, you let him lead you all the way back to your bedroom. With your daughter placed between you and the medicine finally taking its effect, she was soon fast asleep, little snores floating from her tiny body. Pressing a kiss to your knuckles, Seonghwa watched you drift back to sleep before doing so himself.

Yunho:

Both you and your husband had been woken up an hour ago by your screaming toddler. Normally you could get him right back to sleep, but this time something was actually wrong. It was two o’clock in the morning and you had no idea what to do. S/n was crying and throwing up and had a fever that wouldn’t break. 

You were frantically searching symptoms on your phone, pacing in the living room. After reading mommy blog after mommy blog you felt like you were getting nowhere. “Find anything?” Yunho called from the bathroom. 

You almost shook your head, forgetting your husband was in a completely different room with your son. Ending your pacing, you ventured towards your bathroom. Opening the door you were met with a sight that made your heart skip a beat. The small room was filled completely with steam from the running shower. Your two year old son was stripped of his clothes, which he complained earlier of suffocating him. He clung to his father’s bare chest. Yunho had his arms wrapped around S/n, holding him up, resting him on his hip. Your husband's peach-dyed hair was clinging to his sweaty forehead. 

For a moment you just watched the tall handsome man pat his son’s back gently and hum a soothing melody. He really did look like a worried Papa Bear. After a minute he noticed the lack of steam in the room and motioned for you to come in and close the door. “Mommy blogs are useless. They all say to just give him fluids and put him back to bed.”

Yunho sighed, shoulders heaving. Your son stirred and his eyes opened just barely to look into yours. You waved before reaching over and kissing his sweaty little forehead. Your hand trailed from your son to the warm skin of your husband. “Call your mom,” Yunho suddenly declared. 

“No.”

“Call her.”

“Fine.”

At this point, you were too worried about your son to think about the wrath you were incurring by waking your mother at this hour. Leaning against the bathroom counter, you pressed the device up to your ear. Your son whined and reached for your hand. “Don’t tell her we haven’t moved out of the apartment.” He whispered hearing the dial tone from your cell. Yunho was also comically afraid of your mother. 

You rolled your eyes. “Umm...Hi- Mom....” Yunho winced hearing your mother’s shrill and tired voice from the other side of the line. “Yeah. I’m really sorry. Look- mom, S/n is sick. We’ve got him in a steamed room. He’s been throwing up like crazy-”

Yunho’s long fingers softly raked through your son’s hair as he tried to listen to the conversation with his mother in law. “No.....No...Mom- Yunho didn’t give him ice cream. No......”

“It’s always my fault isn’t it,” Yunho groaned in a soft tone not wanting to upset his sickly son in his arms. “Tell her that I’m just as worried about my son as-”

“Bear.....this is not the time.” You scolded him, hand over the speaker. “Mom just....” You sighed- pinching the bridge of your nose. S/n cried at the loss of your hand in his. Your husband shushed him, wetting a washcloth and dabbing at his forehead and neck tenderly. “What’s his temperature?” Turning to your husband, you looked for the answer. “Babe, what’s his temp?”

“Last I checked it was 100.8,”

“100.8″ You gave a sigh of relief hearing your mother’s answer. “He’s going to be okay as long as it doesn’t get higher. She says keep him in here until his temp goes down and to try giving him something to eat to see if he can keep it down,” Relaying the instructions, Yunho nodded and did exactly what your mother told him. 

Yeosang:

You had no idea what to do with a sick kid. Yeosang had no idea what to do with a sick kid. You both were kind of in the same boat. You loved your daughter wholeheartedly, but the both of you were still new parents even two years in and were flying by the seat of your pants. 

So, when D/n had a 103 fever, the two of you started to panic. It was the middle of the night. Yeosang was cradling his crying toddler and you were desperately trying to reach your mother-in-law. “Is she really not picking up?” Never before in the entire time you knew Yeosang, had you seen him this worried. 

“Sang- it’s like two am. She’s probably asleep.” 

Yeosang watched you nervously burn a track in the floor. “Will you stop pacing?”

“Well, then what should we do?”

Your daughter nuzzled her sweating forehead into her father’s neck, little hands pulling at his sweatshirt. He rocked her back in forth in his arms, gears turning in his brain. “Hospital?” Your fiancee suggested- a hesitant but still desperate look in his eyes. 

“Yeah. Emergency room. I’ll call Hongjoong on the way.”

Yeosang sighed, standing up and watching you gather a bag of things you would need. “Don’t do that. He’s just gonna wake the boys and then Wooyoung is going to go all Crazy God Father on us.” You chuckled slinging the packed bag over your shoulder. 

“You’re the one who made him D/n’s god father. My vote was for Hongjoong.”

He groaned, not waiting for you to follow him out of the apartment. Having no time to strap her into her car seat, the singer climbed into the back and held his little girl as your family raced to the nearest emergency room. You burst through the doors, Yeosang carrying your crying toddler with her arms wrapped around his neck, much like in one of the medical dramas you had been watching lately. 

Thankfully you were rushed into a room and your daughter was tested and examined by a doctor quickly. You sat by her side the whole time, holding her hand while Yeosang watched the doctors carefully. Occasionally he would ask questions or accidentally chide them if his daughter yelped from pain or looked uncomfortable. He would quickly go back to silently watching knowing he had overstepped. 

As the doctor finished his examination, he asked you to wait for the test results to come back just to be sure it wasn’t anything serious. The boys burst almost waking D/n, Wooyoung racing towards the bedside of his goddaughter, a huge teddy bear in hand. Just like Yeosang they were all dressed in sweats or pajamas.

After about an hour of her uncles ‘quietly’ attending to their niece’s every need, the doctor returned- test results in hand. “Mr. Kang?” The physician’s eyes searched the boys' handsome faces until Yeosang raised his hand and made his way forward. 

“That’s me,”

“I’m the godfather, Jung Wooyoung, what should I be doing?” Wooyoung said peeping over your fiancee’s shoulder. 

The doctor blinked a few times before looking over to you as if to ask for a clue as to why this over-energetic boy was here. There was nothing you could do but shrug. “Well...um....you could start by sitting over there......quietly....”

Wooyoung gave the doctor a glaring look before reluctantly taking a seat in one of the uncomfortable hospital chairs in the room. “It’s nothing serious is it?” Yeosang asked, his hands subconsciously rubbing the back of his neck. “D/n isn’t dying right?” 

The doctor smiled, placing a hand on the worried singer’s shoulder. “Right now she’s just fine. You were right to bring her in though! We are going to keep her for observation for the next twenty-four hours just to be absolutely sure it is nothing to worry about.” 

Yeosang relayed the news before shoving the boys out of the pediatric hospital room so his little girl could sleep. He called his manager to cancel his schedules for the next day and he stayed by D/n’s side until the doctor told him that she was going to be perfectly fine.

San:

Two hours. You had been up for two hours. There was nothing more on this Earth that you loved more than your little girl, D/n. But when she woke you up at one o’clock in the morning, sick or not, it was not a happy occasion. It didn’t look like anything too serious was wrong with her. You didn’t even have to call your fiancee. Granted he should have been home from practice twenty minutes ago but that was another problem that you didn’t have the patience for right now.

Your toddler whined and rolled around on her bed as you got up to go to the medicine cabinet. D/n’s cries could be heard from all the way down the hall, hurrying your tired movements. “I’m coming, bean,” Instead of wasting time standing there, you grab the first five bottles you see and rush back to your daughter’s room. 

Placing a cool washcloth on her forehead, her cries soften a little allowing you time to read the backs of the bottles. The next thirty minutes were spent trying to get your little girl to take the medicine. The sound of keys tinkling against the dish by the door makes your ears perk up. 

“Babe? Everything okay?” San was home. 

A bouncing head of dyed hair bounded down the hall to stop in the doorway. “She said she’s feeling sick,” San immediately rushes over, hand on the small of your back as he kneels by his daughter’s side. 

“Hey, princess,” He whispers, stroking the hair away from her face. The man pouts seeing her clutch onto her stomach. “Does your tummy hurt?” D/n nods, rolling over onto her side and crying more. 

San turns to you with a half accusing look on his face. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m the one who's been here taking care of her.” You smacked him lightly upside the head, not letting him forget he was the one who came home late. With a sigh, you dropped your sleep-filled head onto the singer’s shoulder. “She won’t take the cold medicine.”

Your fiancee scoffed, turning to look at you before filling a spoon with the oozy purple liquid. “I’ve got this. Watch the master.” San smiled, getting the attention of his little girl. “Princess, this tastes good don’t you want some! It will make you feel better!”

“Does it really taste good?” She askes shyly, looking at her father with stars in her eyes. 

He nods enthusiastically, side-eyeing the spoon. Your daughter looks expectantly from the spoon to her father. After a moment it sort of dawns on him what she wants. Hesitantly, he opens his mouth and swallows the medicine. While he tries to smile, San’s face immediately turns sour and he dramatically gags on the after taste. “UGHHH!” He groans making a gross face.

“No! I don’t want it! It will taste bad!” D/n cries. 

“Great job, Super-Dad.” You say sarcastically. San ignores you, still trying to wipe the taste from his mouth. “Baby, I promise you it doesn’t taste bad. Daddy is just a wimp.”

When you turn around to seek the singer’s help you find him on the phone and whispering to someone. “Hyung, what do I do? D/n won’t take the medicine. Apparently, Y/n’s been trying for hours and-” He freezes seeing you staring at him-brow raised in judgment. 

“Tell me you aren’t on the phone with Seonghwa.”

“I’m not on the phone with Seonghwa......” A moment of silence passes only filled by your child’s whines and cries. “Okay, fine. I’m on the phone with Seonghwa!”

“SAN!” 

“WHAT?! IT’S A REASONABLE THING TO DO!”

Mingi:

Mingi was panicking. You left seven hours ago. It took seven hours for everything to fall apart for the idol. While Mingi loved his job, it took away from him spending time with his two year old son. When your parents called, Mingi jumped at the chance to send you away for a weekend. He would get S/n time and you would get extra help planning for your wedding. 

This was not going at all how Mingi wanted. It was almost 1 AM and his son was crying loudly with a scalding fever. He rushed around the apartment trying to find the list of emergency numbers you had left him. His son was in resting on his hip secured by the rapper’s arm. “S/n...it’s okay. Shhhh.” He could do this. By calling you he would just be proving that he couldn’t take care of his son by himself and he was totally not going to let that happen. 

“Fuck, you’ve got a pair of lungs,” he cursed under his breath when the toddler screamed right in his ear. 

Mingi could not stop himself from physically cheering after finding the slip of paper. The smile all but comically fell when he saw that spaghetti sauce from the dinner he had made S/n was staining every inch of the sheet. 

Crushing the note in his fist he tossed it into the sink and just hoped it didn’t get stuck down the drain. “Okay, buddy. Time to go on an adventure.” Sitting his still crying child on the couch he grabbed a jacket from the closet and slipped his little arms through it. The toddler sniffled and looked at his father who tilted his head before returning to the closet. Mingi came back with two more coats and started stuffing his son into the puffy jackets. 

“That should be enough,” he stated, pulling the hoods over his son’s head and picking him up. The little boy sniffled and cried in his father’s arms all the way to the nearest convenience store. Mingi’s legs were sore from running and he was sure that S/n wasn’t comfortable either. 

White fluorescent lights shined all the way through the store’s windows and out onto the street. A happy chime alerted the half-asleep pharmacist behind the counter of the boys’ arrival. “Welcome, how can I help?” the woman greeted.

“I- uh.....my son....uh...” S/n turned around in Mingi’s arms rubbing his tired and tear-filled eyes. It was then he knew.....Mingi could not do this alone. “One second, sorry!” His long fingers pull his phone from his pocket and quickly dial your number. 

Your sleepy voice floats through the speaker automatically relieving the tension in his whole body. “Hi, baby, what’s up?”

“Y/n, I’m so sorry- S/n has a fever and I tried everything and there was spaghetti sauce and jackets and- and.......baby...please help.”

You giggled over the phone and asked your boyfriend to take a deep breath. Once he was calm and speaking in full sentences you asked, “Do you want me to come home?” 

“NO!” The pharmacist jumped at his volume and S/n almost started crying again. “Baby, just please tell me what to do!” 

After agreeing to stay you listed off several medications and tried not to laugh hearing the idol attempt to repeat them to the woman behind the counter. Mingi insisted you stay on the phone with him the whole way back to the apartment. 

S/n stopped sniffling and groaning when Mingi took off the boy���s three layers of coats and gave him the medicine. Both boys eventually fell asleep on the couch to you talking to them on speakerphone. 

Wooyoung:

Your bodies lay draped over each other on the couch. Wooyoung lay under you, fingers threading through your hair as he watched the random drama that played on the tv. The volume was low so as not to wake your sleeping toddler in the other room, but instead of the show, you listened to your boyfriend’s steady heartbeat. 

It was late. Maybe one in the morning? Wooyoung had rehearsals tomorrow, but no way was he going to pass up time alone with you. After you put S/n to bed he immediately dragged you to the couch. “I need my Y/n recharge!” He whined, making you giggle. Now you were so happy listening to his heartbeat, threatening to fall asleep to the calming sound. 

“Are you still awake?” He whispered, brushing his cheek over the top of your head. The singer chuckled as the tiniest nod rubbed against his chest. His hands dropped down to your waist hugging you tightly. With his fingers removed from your scalp, you started to come back from the tempting fog of sleep. 

Your mother ears picked up on the sound of a door opening and you sat up like a meerkat making the man below you smile. Your superpower was correct and soon tiny feet padded into the living room dragging a teddy bear behind him. Both you and the singer sat up seeing tears on your son’s cheeks. 

“Daddy, my tummy hurts,” the two-year-old cried. 

Immediately Wooyoung reached up and pulled his shaggy hair away from his face, wrapping it with a tie on his wrist. You smiled watching him switch into full-on dad mode. Picking his son up under the arms, your boyfriend stood up and let S/n’s little limbs wrap around his body. Full dad mode Wooyoung was honestly the hottest thing you had ever seen and it shocked you every time. 

“It’s probably just an upset stomach but let’s take his temperature just to be sure.” Wooyoung nodded at your words and comforted your child as you searched for the thermometer. 

Coming back with the instrument in hand you grinned at the sight before you. You could only compare the feeling to watching those videos of otters holding hands. The thermometer passed hands and you watched him struggle to get your son to open his mouth.

When he finally succeeded a soft grin floated over his lips as he watched his son. Hearing the click of your phone camera brought him out of his happy trance. “You did not just take a photo of me,” Wooyoung whined, smile betraying the tone of his voice. 

“The boys have to know what a soft dad you are!” You joked, wiggling your phone at him.

Wooyoung laughed and maneuvered his son onto his hip. “If I was not holding our son- I would fucking tackle you.”

“WOO- LANGUAGE!”

“Oh my god, he’s two what’s he gonna do?”

Rolling your eyes, you watch your boyfriend tease you and pull the thermometer from S/n’s mouth. Wooyoung tossed the instrument to you before walking over to the kitchen. Thankfully your little boy didn’t have a fever. 

The singer set s/n down on the counter and walked over to the fridge. He pulled out a bottle of ginger ale only to be stopped by your hand. “What?” You shook your head and put the soda back in the fridge. “I drank ginger ale all the time for this when I was his age,” Wooyoung stated like he was the smartest man in the world. 

“Yeah well, doctor’s everywhere say ‘no’.” It was his turn to roll his eyes as you gave your son a natural fruit pop and water instead. “Show me your MD, babe.” You joked, wrapping your arms around his waist. 

“Whatever,” Wooyoung said with a smile, kissing the top of your head before returning his focus to your son. 

Jongho:

Jongho was already nasty being away from his daughter for too long. This was the first weekend-long shoot Ateez was doing since D/n was born. You wouldn’t classify Jongho as a ....’clingy’ dad....just one that needed a picture and video check-in of his little girl every two hours or he would have a mini-meltdown. 

His shoot was supposed to be two nights and three days. It was only ten o’clock on the second night when your daughter suddenly got a high fever. The little girl wouldn’t stop crying and in the few words she knew, she complained of bad stomach pain and a headache. Your boyfriend would obliterate you if you didn’t update him. Therefore promptly on the hour, you called Jongho despite the crying infant in the next room. 

“Hi, Y/n-,” His expert ears immediately picked up on the crying over the phone. “What’s wrong is she okay? Are you okay? Is everyone okay? Why is my baby crying?”

“D/n is sick-”

“Do I need to come home? I’m coming home. I can totally come home.” You heard Yeosang shout a ‘No, he can’t’ from somewhere over the phone. 

You sighed-rubbing your temples as a particularly shrill shriek pierced through the thin walls of your apartment. “She has a fever, and a pretty bad stomach ache. I think it’s possibly the flu. It might just be a stomach bug.”

Jongho was getting more worried by the second. He hated hearing his baby girl cry and not be able to do anything about it. They were at least three hours away and that was if he forced a taxi driver to run all the stoplights. “That’s it. Baby, I’m coming home.”

“No, Jongho, honey-” It was too late. He had already hung up. 

Jongho walked right off set (thankfully cameras hadn’t been rolling). The singer marched right up to the director with determination in his eyes. Yeosang, having heard the youngest’s conversation immediately told Hongjoong who gathered the Maknae Damage Control Crew. I.e: Yunho and Wooyoung. “I need to leave.” he stated. The director didn’t even look up from his binder, simply waving his hand. 

“Yeah- go to the trailer. We aren’t rolling for another ten minutes.”

“No. I need to go. As in I’m done. No more shooting of Choi Jongho.”

This got the older man’s attention. His brows raised at the idol’s sudden defiance. “Sorry, kid. Your contract says I own you for another twenty-eight hours. You aren’t going anywhere.”

He took a shaky breath, obviously suppressing his anger. Yunho uncertainly placed his hand on the younger’s shoulder only for it to be brushed off. “You don’t understand. My daughter is sick. I’m leaving.”

“No.”

“NO?” Jongho was furious. Things escalated from zero to sixty very quickly. Wooyoung and Yunho were now holding back Jongho in hopes of keeping him from throttling the show director. The singer had an almost crazed look in his eye and was shouting about getting home to his D/n and something about breaking his head like an apple. 

Finally, Hongjoong stepped in. “Look just let him go home. We can finish the show with seven members. What’s the harm?” Thanks to the leader’s negotiating skills Jongho was soon racing back at light speed. At almost three am he burst through the door of your shared apartment only to be met with silence. 

He was very confused. His first thought was: “Oh no. D/n had a deadly contagious virus and both of them died almost instantaneously.” Frantically he pulled his mask back over his face and ran to the nursery. Surprisingly, he found his little girl fast asleep. Her face was calm and her forehead was no warmer to the touch than normal. 

Jongho next ventured into the bedroom, finding you passed out face first on his side of the bed. Smiling, he kicked off his shoes and took off his mask. “You had me worried for nothing.” He mumbled, collapsing onto the bed and pulling you into his arms. Not even the movement woke you up from your deep sleep. “Good job, mommy.” 

Masterlist

[adorerdraco]

Healing Heart ✧ Draco x Reader Mini-Series PART 1

Summary: Draco meets and accidentally falls in love with reader during his sixth year (HBP). Part 1 of a upcoming series.

Warnings: angst, some fluff, mentions of blood, crying, panic attacks

Words: 6.4K words (I made this so longgg)

A/N: my first Draco writing !!! i am sorry ahead of time if there are any misspellings, typing with long acrylics is hard omg. ALSO PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SEND ME REQUESTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also i do not own this gif.

It was almost satirical how Draco managed to fall in love with someone at what might be, is, the lowest point in his life. It was his sixth year at Hogwarts, the dark mark burned into his left forearm, the restless mending of the vanishing cabinet, the impossible task of killing his Headmaster, the Dark Lord looming over him and his family with promises of torture and death if he didn’t follow through with the orders he was given.

Draco was an empty shell of what he used to be. The playful and mean remarks that would leave his mouth to anyone that stood in his path were gone. The devious twinkle in his eye and the smug smirk that used to grace his face almost 24/7 was reduced to a permanent scowl and red-rimmed eyes. He looked as if he had aged a rough 10 years since the last year he was at school. Everyone noticed it.

Everyone noticed the skipped meals, the lack of sleep, the empty look in his eyes, the falling behind in class. But no one dared say a thing to him. It almost seems as though people were afraid of him now more than ever. The sneer on his face and the reckless and impulsive attitude he held now was like a repellent for anyone that tried to come near. He was completely alone, whether he liked it or not and he decided to keep it that way.

That all changed a few months into the year, however, when you were rushing to DADA, your long house colored scarf getting tangled underneath your feet causing you to trip and lurch forward, dropping all your books, your wand, and crashing into, you guessed it, Draco Malfoy himself. There was a loud cracking sound as you both tumbled onto the ground, a yelp slipping past Draco’s lips as he held his hand in pain.

"Oh, Merlin,” you gasped, Draco shooting you the dirtiest glare. “Draco, I’m so sorry.”

Before he could open his mouth to tell you off and incessantly insult you into oblivion, you reached forward and took his wounded hand in yours, the softness of your hands and tender touch throwing him off guard. He watched you as you examined the damage on one of his fingers.

“It’s just a sprain,” you finalized after inspecting it for a couple seconds. Draco recoiled his hand from yours as if he had touched a hot surface. He moved to get up and you huffed out a “wait, hold on,” as you scrambled around the ground for your wand. When you felt the wood underneath your fingertips, you clutched it and jumped to your feet, gently grabbing onto the sleeve of Draco’s robe who was already trying to retreat.

“Get away,” he snarled, snatching his arm out of your grasp.

“Let me help,” you pleaded softly, “it’ll be quick, I promise.”

Draco looked down at you with annoyance. He was about to leave again until he felt that same tender touch from just a few moments ago. The feeling stunning him again as he looked down at his hand that was now lying palm up in yours.

“Episkey,” you drawled the wand over his injured finger, the both of you watching the swollen and purple bruise beginning to form suddenly fade away.

Draco gave you one last scowl before he snatched his hand out of yours and turned around to leave the corridor, leaving you standing there dumbfounded as he quickly walked away, his cloak floating behind him like the professor, who’s class you now realized you were very late for.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

That night, Draco lied awake staring at his ceiling he had charmed to resemble a starry night sky. His mind wandered off to think about spells he could try to help fix the vanishing cabinet and different ways he could kill Dumbledore without actually having to face him. He thought of his parents, mostly his mom, and how much he wishes he could save her and himself from this life. He thought of this school and how much he missed being an unknowing child who just did his schoolwork, played quidditch and bully the Golden Trio. He missed the two-dimensional life he used to live. Even if he used to be a complete ignorant and snobby arse, he was a happy one at that. Only now he knows that life isn’t what mummy or daddy say it is, in fact, it is so much worse.

He found his mind wandering to his uneventful day of dragging himself through his classes and failed attempts on the cabinet in the room of requirement. He then all of a sudden remembered the klutzy y/h/c girl that tripped into him and sprained his finger. He remembered how soft her touch was and how gentle she was in fixing said finger. That feeling was hard to forget. He hasn’t felt such tenderness since he doesn’t know how long. He recalled his mother’s hug before he boarded the train to Hogwarts, but that was ages ago.

In his ever growing turmoil, there wasn’t an ounce of warmth in Draco’s life since he’s returned to school. The coldness he was feeling on the inside was just as apparent as it was in his surroundings. He catches himself wishing he could feel that touch again, something about you radiated warmth, and just as quick as that thought appeared, he pushed it away. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The next day, as Draco was leaving the room of requirement and into the empty corridor, he felt the familiar ache in his chest that began to flow through his body. He had made little to no progress today on the cabinet. He felt a panic attack on the horizon, his breathing becoming staggered and tears pricking his eyes. He hated it. He hated feeling so weak.

He began rushing towards Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, his tears blurring his vision and just like the day before, he crashed right into someone. Instinctively, he held the other person in place by their biceps so neither of them would fall. But that still didn’t stop how upon impact, the other person’s head had collided with his bottom lip. He squeezed his eyes in pain as he felt the skin break and blood quickly escaping it. When he pulled back, he focused on the figure in front of him and realized it was you. The same klutzy girl he bumped into yesterday. 

“Oh no, not again,” you frown, placing your hand on the part of your head that met Draco’s lip.

“You ought to watch where you’re going, you twit,” he snarls, stepping away from you in anger.

“It was an accident,” you responded just as harshly. You take a deep breath and throw the attitude aside. He was bleeding for Merlin’s sake and you felt bad that it was because of you. “I’m sorry, please let me heal you again,” you offer, taking a step towards him, closing up the space he had made.

“I think you’ve done enough,” he backs up, eyeing you down.

“Draco, please, just let me heal your lip and i’ll be out of your way,” you ask again, your soft and guilt ridden e/c eyes peering up at him through your lashes. Draco’s heart flutters, his anger subsiding for a second and he nods.

You step towards him once more and unexpectedly place a warm hand on his face while the other brings your wand up to his lip where it hovers. It was a non-verbal spell you used this time and he felt the pulsating pain in his lip subside to nothing. 

Even though he was healed, you both stayed in that position, your hand still on his cheek and his eyes gazing into yours. He didn’t realize it at that moment, but the pain in chest had also subsided, just a little. The tears had gone. His breathing was drastically slower.

“What’s your name?” the question tumbled from his lips before he could stop it. You gave him a small smile, your hand falling from his face and he frowns when he feels the cold on his skin from the loss of contact.

“It’s Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N” you answer. “We have potions together this year, actually.”

Draco thought back to that class, now that Slughorn was teaching it he hardly paid attention, especially since he felt he was skilled in it anyways so he would let himself slip into his thoughts and let the whole period pass by in a haze. He feels as though he might have heard your name here and there, but he wasn’t so sure.

“Hm, funny, I’ve never noticed you,” he says, not intending it to sound rude but it did. He watches your face fall and he feels a slight guilt poke at him.

“Well, like I said, I’ll be out of your way now,” you mumble to him, brushing past him softly as you continued your path out of the corridor and out of his sight.

He didn’t know why, but he felt a little sad to see you go. He shook his head, shaking the thought from his mind and instead of the bathroom, he decided to go to his room, no longer feeling like he did before your little encounter.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

As days went on, Draco ended up paying more attention in Slughorn’s class. Not to the chubby old professor, but to you, who he shared subtle glances with throughout classes and half-hearted smiles.

You wanted nothing more than to continue talking to him. To be in his presence. He was like a magnet to you, while everyone else thought the opposite of him. Even Pansy, who usually was up his ass, distanced herself from the ghost of the boy she once obsessed over. You couldn’t lie, the small crush you harbored on Draco had only grown more and more each day. It started about three years ago, during your third year when you had seen him in the hospital wing after his run-in with Buckbeak.

You remember the sheer shock you felt when you had seen him for the first time that year. The slicked back hair was gone, he had grown several inches taller, maybe even a foot taller now that you thought about it. His voice had deepened into that haughty tone you somehow couldn’t get enough of. But just like you, many other girls noticed these changes too and began pursuing him. Something you’d never had the guts to do.

Until now.

The feelings you had been suppressing for the past 3 years had come back in overflow the second you bumped into him the other day. Even worse this time since you’ve actually had a conversation with him now and the fact that he won’t stop looking at you.

Slughorn pulled you out of your thoughts when he announced to everyone to partner up to brew the potion he had been lecturing us on all week. Draught of Peace.

“This is your chance,” your friend besides you sings to you as you looked longingly in Draco’s direction who hasn’t moved from his spot.

“No, he usually works by himself, I don’t want to bother him anymore than I have,” you sigh, slumping down in your seat.

“Y/N, you’ve been in love with him since third year,” she huffs, “besides, maybe he only works alone because no one can stand being near him.”

“Shhh, someone might hear you,” you hiss, slumping even lower into your seat. “I am not in love with him, it’s just a stupid crush,” you whisper angrily to her while she only rolls her eyes.

“Okay, well, have fun working alone,” she smirks, getting up from her seat and scurrying across the room to join another classmate. You gape at her in distress, she returns the same gesture, mocking you. She then points over to Draco and smiles, giving you an encouraging thumbs up.

You rest your head in your hand for a second, feeling the hot blush that had made its way onto your face and focused your gaze onto the table in front of you. You mentally hexed your friend, who thought it’d be a good idea if she were ditch you so you would be forced to look for another partner. Jokes on her, you’re not getting up from this seat.

‘I can’t go up to him,” you thought, ‘he probably thinks I’m some annoying creep who won’t leave him alone. I’ll just work by myself.”

Draco looks over at you, noticing the empty space beside you and the frown on your face as you pushed your Potions book to the side and sat up to get your cauldron ready. You were alone, and so was he. He fought himself on whether or not he should join you. It was a bold move, especially for him. He was used to working alone, but the longer he looked at you, the more he found himself missing the sound of your honey sweet voice and soft eyes. Before he had any more time to argue with himself about it, he gathered up all his things and walked over to the empty spot next to you.

“Do you want help?” Draco asked awkwardly, immediately regretting his decision to move. Your eyes shot up from the potion book, not expecting to see the blond next to you with a faint blush on his cheeks.

“Um, yes, actually, that’d be nice,” you mutter out to him, moving some stuff around on the table so that he would have space for his. You could hardly contain the deep red blush that was already on your face from intensifying at his presence. You swallowed thickly as the realization set in that your longtime crush was right beside you and even offering a helping hand. Which in Draco’s case was extremely rare, almost unheard of. Matter of fact, this is something the Slytherin Prince has never done.

He sets his bag down and his supplies and takes a seat, rolling up his sleeves so that he could get started on crushing the porcupine quills into the moonstone powder. The amount of times he has made this potion by now for himself was sad, but good in this case since he would be able to impress you with his skill.

He worked diligently and quietly and you watched as his long slender fingers worked everything with attention and precision. You were looking up at him every now and then which you now realized was a terrible idea considering you were in the middle of cutting ginger root and you weren’t exactly coordinated to begin with. You felt the sharp blade slide across your finger and a small gasp left your mouth when the pain instantly began once the first drop of blood fell.

Draco looked at you in confusion, his eyes widening slightly when he saw the blood dripping from your hand and your face contorted in pain. You ignored the looks Draco was giving you, afraid that he might be looking at you with contempt for being sloppy.

“Y/L/N, perhaps you should go to Madam Pomfrey,” Draco suggests, now seeing that the cut was very deep as you inspected it. In fact, it was so deep he swore he could’ve seen bone.

“No, it’s fine, I can heal it,” you ignored the sharp pain and placed your hand on the table and pointed your wand at the cut with your uninjured hand. You focused on the cut and closed your eyes, letting your wand do its magic with your unspoken spell. When you opened your eyes, the cut was gone, just a small scar in its place and drying blood around it. “You see,” you smile, turning towards Draco and waving your finger, “brand new.”

“You don’t want dittany for the scarring?” Draco asked with an eyebrow raised.

“No, I don’t mind them and this one is small anyways. They’re like memories to me. Some come from good experiences, some bad. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m a little clumsy,” you explain, a small smile on your lips.

“Trust me, I’ve noticed,” he sighs, “so you’ve managed to become your own healer because of that?”

“Exactly that,” you hummed. “That’s actually what I’m studying to be. I plan on being at St. Mungo’s once we graduate. I’ve been studying for it my whole life.”

Draco was silent for a moment. He watched as you carefully threw ingredients into the cauldron and stirred them with caution. He noticed that despite your clumsiness, you handled everything you touched with a care and gentleness. It was a calming sight to him for some reason and he faintly smiled.

“I think you’d be a great healer,” he complimented quietly. You looked at him with one of the brightest smiles he’s ever seen and his heart swells at the thought of it being because of him. He feels a smile mirroring yours that tries to break through, but he fights it.

“You know, you’re a lot nicer than you let on,” you say quietly, waiting for his reaction from the corner of his eye. Draco wants to give you a snarky remark, just to uphold his cold reputation he’s given himself since his first day back at Hogwarts, but he doesn’t.

Instead of saying anything, he just shrugged and gave you a small smile, turning his attention back to the task at hand. You do the same, choosing to enjoy the comfortable silence that had settled.

When Slughorn came by to check when you finished, he eyed you and Draco and smiled.

"Ahh, Mr. Malfoy, I’m glad you’ve finally decided to partner up with someone,” he gleamed. “Miss Y/L/N here is an excellent potions student such as yourself.”

“Yes, she is,” Draco responded, keeping his eyes trained on the professor. He didn’t want to look at you, feeling embarrassed that he has now complimented you twice in the last 20 minutes. You smiled to yourself, something you’ve been doing a lot of since the slytherin boy sat next to you.

“Well, I suppose you’ll be pleased to know the two of you have brewed an outstanding potion,” Slughorn grins, “both of you will receive perfect marks on this. You can be excused from today’s class now.”

“Thank you, Professor,” you begin gathering your things and turn towards Draco. “I’ll see you next class? Or maybe somewhere around the castle when I accidentally bump into you.”

Draco chuckles and shakes his head, “perhaps. I’ll see you soon, Y/L/N.”

With that, he strides out of the class, you staring at the back of his platinum blond head with a stupid smile on your face.

“You’re welcome,” your friend suddenly appeared next to you, playfully slapping your arm. “I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen Draco look so... calm.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Weeks had gone by, and several Potions classes. The seat beside you now belonged to Draco and the two of you had in a sense, become friends. Or acquaintances. You couldn’t quite say. 

He was still brooding and mostly kept to himself, but he would converse with you here and there about things, almost always school. The two of you continuously getting outstanding marks on everything you produced much to Slughorn’s delight.

Sometimes he would come to class looking disheveled or angry and those were the days where no matter how much you tried to talk to him to at least maybe get his mind off things, he would ignore you. Wouldn’t even look at you. You couldn’t deny how it had hurt your feelings, but you would brush off the hurt and remind yourself that it wasn’t personal. He was obviously going through something, you didn’t know what, but you had to respect that sometimes he just didn’t want to talk. That was hard. Especially because you just wanted to hear his voice or see him give you that rare smile when you would say something he found amusing or you would accidentally drop something off the table with your elbows or knocked over with your hands. 

You were rounding a corridor when you saw the flash of blond zoom past you. He didn’t see you, but you saw the pointed look in his eyes and the tears that were pooling in the stormy gray eyes that you adored. You mentally fought yourself on whether or not you should follow him, he looked so upset and all you wanted to do was give him a peace of mind. So you followed him, all through two corridors until he disappeared into Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom.

Your heart broke at the sobs that filled the bathroom. They were full of pain and despair. The sound of his rapid breathing mixed in with his cries was more than enough to let you know that he was having a panic attack. You pushed open the door slightly to see him hunched over a sink, his robe discarded on the ground along with his vest and tie leaving him in only a white long sleeved dress shirt. 

You wanted to run in and help, but stayed back, realizing that this was something that was extremely personal. You knew he would be livid if you or anyone saw him like this, so broken and emotional. You were about to leave, all of a sudden feeling very ashamed for even following him in here. You watched as he looked up into the mirror, an anger flashing in his eyes as he stared at the reflection looking back at him. Not yours, but his. All he could see was a monster staring back at him. A failure. A weak man. He was disgusted and angry with what he saw and before he knew what he was doing, he had pulled his fist back and you watched it collide with the middle of the mirror where he had been. The glass shattered upon impact, the shards now flying in all different directions and embedding into his knuckles. He fell to the ground on his knees, in pain and clutching his fist as his cries only got louder. 

That was when you threw open the door, rushing in to help him, not caring that you were going to have to put up a fight in order to even get near him. Draco’s eyes shot up to meet yours, and just like you thought, he was beyond pissed to see you. 

Draco has never felt such humiliation in his life. The beautiful and kind y/h girl he had acquainted himself with, was now looking at him with pity. He grabbed his wand from his pocket, pointing it at you with such quickness that you faltered in your steps.

“Get. Out!” He yelled, his wand shaking violently in his uninjured hand. He would never hex you, but he figured you would fall for his bluff and leave. But you didn’t. You only sat yourself down a few feet away from him and felt your own tears begin to fall. “Y/L/N, I swear to Merlin, if you don’t leave, I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” you challenged. “I just want to help.”

“I don’t need your help,” he sneered, his wand still pointed at you.

“You’re bleeding, a lot, Draco,” you point to his bloodied hand that curled to his chest. “You know I can save you a trip to the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey’s interrogation.”

After a few moments of silence and a wand still pointed at you, you slowly scoot towards him. Your hand encloses around the one holding his wand and you lower it for him while he watches you. He was still crying and breathing heavily. His panic attack somehow getting worse now and no longer having the energy to fight you. You finally reach him, now knee to knee with him and you place a hand on his shoulder.

“Draco, just breath with me,” you say calmly. “In,” you took a long exaggerated inhale, and after a few seconds, “out,” and let out an equally exaggerated exhale. You did that with him for a while, his pained gray eyes focused on yours the whole time, never breaking eye contact. Once he was calmed down enough and was just left with the post crying hiccoughs, you took his injured hand in yours. There was shards and particles of glass stuck in his reddened and bloody skin.

You reached into your robe pocket and pulled out a set of tweezers you kept with you. You often found yourself getting splinters or tiny rocks stuck in your skin when your hands hit the pavement when you’d fall you try and catch yourself.

“This might hurt,” you warn, starting to remove one of the biggest pieces. He sharply inhales as you try your best to do take it out carefully.

It was quiet the rest of the process, just sniffles and gasps from Draco when you had removed a piece that especially hurt. When you were done, you waved your wand over the gashes and watched as they faded into faint pink scars. You got up, pulling him with you and took him to the sink where you rinsed off the blood from both your hands and his. 

He couldn’t say anything. He didn’t know what. He just stared at you, dumbfounded and confused. You turned your body to face his and he did the same, eyeing you carefully and still very cautious to any move you made.

“I can leave now, if you’d like me to,” you offer quietly. He stayed silent, wondering if he should just send you off. But he didn’t want to. You had already seen him at his worst, and he was terribly alone, so he just shook his head ‘no.’ You looked up at him and decided to risk it all. “Can I give you a hug?”

Draco was stunned at the question, his heart pounding against his chest. “I suppose,” he managed to let out in a strained voice.

You slowly stepped closer to him and slid your arms up his biceps until your hands met behind his neck. You stood on your tippy toes and pulled him into you, his chin now resting on your shoulder as your hand smoothed the back of his head. You felt him stiff under your touch and as he got comfortable in your embrace, his arms raised from his sides and snaked around your waist, pushing you flush against him. You stayed like that for what felt like forever, and he held you tightly, not wanting to let go.

This was the first time in a long time that he had felt any type of relief. It had been such a constant uphill battle for him, day after day. He took a deep inhale accidentally, but the smell of your perfume and shampoo filling his nose and his mind made him feel at ease. The warmth of your body from underneath his fingertips brought him peace and succor.

“Thank you,” he whispered into your hair so quietly that if you weren’t so focused on him, you would’ve missed it.

“Anytime.”

That was the day Draco Malfoy became your friend.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Potions class was no longer the only place you would see Draco. Now that the two of you were comfortable with one another and he trusted you more than anyone else, he found himself hanging out with you every day during his free time when he would be done messing with the cabinet.

It would be taking walks around the castle. Sneaking out at night and meeting behind statues to talk. Sitting together at a bench in the courtyard. Skipping stones along the Black Lake. It’s been months of this. Months of friendship he so desperately needed. You had helped him through several more panic attacks and meltdowns, each time coming closer together. He never told you about what caused them. The worst ones were when he found he had almost killed Katie Bell and Ron Weasley, and as much as you begged him to tell you, he kept his mouth shut. 

He had spent so much time with you that it was affecting him. But for the better. He found himself eating again at the Slytherin table and his friends were more than excited to have him back. He still wasn’t too buddy-buddy with everyone as he once was, but he joined conversations and shared a couple jokes. He was even sleeping a little more. He was still beyond stressed, but it wasn’t as gut-wrenching. He enjoyed Potions again and even started paying a little more attention in his other classes. His new found energy even helped him greatly progress in mending the vanishing cabinet, finally making a breakthrough in fixing it.

He would lie awake at night sometimes and thank Merlin you crashed into his life, literally. You were like an angel to him, healing his heart with every word and smile and touch you sent his way. It was easy with you. He tried his best to keep his emotions at bay, reminding himself that when he would have to follow through with his task, he would lose you and that thought pained him to no end. But he was selfish, and he adored you with every fiber of his being so he couldn’t leave you alone. And especially not when he needed you most.

Today, you lied in the grass, shoulder to shoulder and staring up at the sky and watching the clouds. You were a little ways from the castle, away from all your other classmates and teachers and it was nice. Finally being able to enjoy time with the Slytherin Prince without people gawking at the two of you.

“My mother used to do this with me when I was a small,” Draco trailed off, his eyes following a particular funny shaped cloud. “She would take me out to the garden behind the Manor, usually when father was doing some work at the ministry. But we would sit against this tall oak tree and I’d be on her lap and she’d have her arms wrapped around me and she would point out the funniest shaped clouds and try to pinpoint what they resemble. Sometimes she’d even joke around and say the weirdest shaped cloud looked like father.”

You giggled at that last part, your heart swelling at the story. He rarely talked about his family, but when he did, it would always be of his mother and a happy memory he had with her, never his father.

“Draco, can I ask you something?” you turn onto your side, your elbow holding you up as you gazed down at him.

“What do you wanna know, darling?” you blushed at the nickname but brushed it aside, knowing he only meant it in a friendly way.

“Forgive me if it’s rude, you don’t have to answer,” you begin, “but do you miss your father? I know it’s none of my business and I’m so sorry the Daily Prophet put your family business on blast like that. I can’t imagine how that must have felt.”

Draco frowned and followed you in turning onto his side and propping himself up with his elbow to face you. You remembered the image of Draco and his mother on the newspaper, bright lights flashing across their faces as all the press tried to get picture of them after the sentencing of Lucius Malfoy to Azkaban. You remembered seeing Draco look so sad, yet strong beside his mother as he looked from her and then into the camera with disdain. 

“Sometimes, I do,” he answers, eyebrows furrowed as he thought of his father. “My whole life, he’s expected nothing short of perfection from me. There were no room for mistakes, and if I made any, I would be punished for them. I remember coming to Hogwarts was like an escape, a place where I could finally sort of relax and be a child. I don’t miss his scolding or his coldness. But I miss having a father, I miss going home on that first day of summer and seeing both my parents even if he was going to reprimand me for something later on in the day. He’s been with me my whole life, and now he’s gone, stuck in a cell in Azkaban. He’s never going to be the same. Home is never going to be the same.”

You felt tears prick your eyes as you listened to the boy beside you, a distant look in his eyes as he turned back over on his back to look at the sky in the middle of his explanation. You sat up and he did the same, looking at you with a frown when he noticed you were about to cry. You took your hand in his and held it tightly.

“I’m sorry, Draco,” you mumble. “You don’t deserve any of the bad things you’ve been through.”

“I do,” he shrugs. “I’ve been a real git since I’ve been at Hogwarts, you know.”

“You’re different now,” you say. “Sure, you still haven’t lost a little bit of the Malfoy snobbishness and you’re still a bit of a git, but you’re kinder and more gentle. You’re a lot more empathetic and perceptive. I mean, I’ve never spoken to you prior to this year, but your reputation follows and the Draco in front of me doesn’t seem anything like the Draco you were.”

“How you’ve managed to insult me while complimenting me is something I’ve never seen anyone be able to do successfully is astonishing,” he laughs, a smile growing on his face as you laughed with him.

“I’m serious, Dray,” you giggle, “I think you’re a good person.”

“I’m not good,” he thinks to himself. The compliment leaving your lips made him feel foul. He didn’t deserve to have such a kind soul complimenting him to be something he’d never amount to. He frowned and harshly stood up, and you quickly followed. Suddenly afraid that you might have overstepped your boundaries.

“Where are you going?” You ask, fear trembling in your voice. He begins to hurriedly walk off and you chase after him, stopping in front of him so you could place your hands on his chest to stop him. 

“Y/N, let me go,” he pleads. “I’m not who you think I am.”

“I think I’ve been around you long enough to know who you are.”

“Not long enough.”

You stare up at him, but he refuses to look at you. His body feels rigid under your touch and it pains you to see him beginning to shut down again.

“I know something has been bothering you this year, and I know it’s not just because of what happened with your father,” you start. “I don’t know what is hurting you so deeply enough to make you hate yourself, but I’m here to tell you that whatever that thing is, it doesn’t define you.”

Draco swallows thickly, the tears already falling down his cheeks. “It does, it does.”

“No, it doesn’t,” you cry with him. “Even if you don’t see your goodness, I do.”

Both you and Draco are crying, the tree you were now standing under was swaying violently in the wind, as if it was picking up on your guys’ emotions. You placed a hand on his cheek, and he leaned down, pressing his forehead against yours.

“I’m not good,” he whispers to you, “and once you see that, you’re going to hate me.”

“I could never hate you, Draco Malfoy,” you promise, a complete sincerity in your voice that it makes his heart jump.

Draco lifts his head up and sniffles, he watched you do the same, peering up at him through your wet lashes. He brought his thumb up to smooth the crease in between your eyebrows, letting it fall down to your cheeks where he wiped away the stray tears that had stilled. His hand then landed on your mouth that was pulled down in a grimace that matched his own. His thumb grazed over your lips, the softness of them nearly driving him mad. He wanted nothing more than to feel them against his own, but he couldn’t bring himself to kiss you. He didn’t want to drag you into the darkness of his life more than he already has.

“Kiss me,” you said to him, so softly but it rang loud in his ears. You had seen the way he looked at you and how he seemed so focused on your lips. You knew what he was thinking because it was exactly what you were thinking. You wanted this just as badly as he did. “Kiss me.”

Every argument he had in his head vanished and suddenly he closed the small space between the two of you and gently placed his lips onto yours. It was a fluid movement, like two puzzle pieces fitting together.

Your hands found their way in his hair, holding him closer to you and he did the same by gripping onto your hips. His lips were soft against yours, filled with fervor and desire. He was gentle with you, but you could still feel the deepness of his kiss and how it intensified with each second. He had put all his emotions into it, his care, his appreciation, his want, his sadness, his grief, his love.

When he pulled away and the two of you stood there staring at each other with love stricken eyes, he realized he had made a grave mistake.

He realized he was in love with you. He realized that he would never be able to let you go, and you would never let him go. And he knew that with the direction his life was going in, one way or another, you would get hurt and he would lose you, maybe even to death itself.

So in that moment he knew. As much as he loved you and wanted more than anything to be with you, he couldn’t put you in that position where you would be staring evil and death in the face. He wouldn’t tarnish your beautiful soul like that.

“I have to go,” he breathed out. “Please, leave me alone. For good.”

And with that he turned away, leaving you standing under the tree with tears falling down your face, a sob escaping your throat and the sound of your knees hitting the grass below you. He held back his own cries and walked faster away from you, knowing you had finally done damage to yourself that you couldn’t heal, and it was all his fault.

PART 2

[concentrateandpush]

Just like Charles had promised, he barely let me stay not pregnant. Baby is only 11 months old and I’m 40 weeks pregnant, which is unheard of with twins. I’ve been up all night with the little one and she’s at that point where EVERYTHING is interesting, fingers in plugs, stuffing bread into where it doesn’t belong.. we’ve gone through 3 iPhones because they just done belong in the bath. But, she’s beautiful and eagerly awaiting the arrival of her little play mates.

“Sweetheart, are you going to have nap time? Then when you wake up, Daddy’s going to be home?” I smile, trying to entice her into the idea. She shakes her head and just runs wild, it’s not that I don’t want to play with her and keep her entertained, it’s that I physically can’t at this point. “Up! Up!!” She smiles to me and I just can’t resist her face and so I get up letting her pull me to where ever she wants. “Ake! Ake!” She smiles, anything but fucking baking “Oh angel.. Mommy’s really tired” I sigh and kneel down “what about drawing? Or even.. even swimming?” I offer and her eyes light up.

Luckily, we have a pool in our garden, a decent sized one. “Okay, come on” I nod and get her changed before getting myself into a one piece. Once we’re in, she’s loving life, she’s like a sea creature, she’s always been great in the water. I look down at my stomach and give a gently brush over the top “we’re ready for you babies” I whisper. As if by magic, I start to feel an all too familiar pain. Biting my lip and just observing, I watch my stomach as it tightens slightly. I had already gotten my mucus plug, so I knew it was coming, but it takes me by surprise.

I ride through a few easy contractions and then decide it’s time to get out “Okay, sweetheart, time to get out” I smile and laboriously grunt as I pick her up and climb out. She senses something isn’t quite right, I know this because there was no nagging to stay in there. I check the time and sigh seeing that it’s still a while before Charles comes home. I settle her down and get her on the couch in a big towel and wrap one around myself, just trying to ease the pains as they come in and let out.

A while goes by and I check the time again, he’s late, baby is passed out on the couch with some kids show playing in the background and I can’t carry her up to bed at this point. Things are getting harder and I find myself squatting as I hold onto the kitchen counter, panting and trying to not wake her. I reach for my phone and call him, letting it ring and ring until he picks up “Babe? Im so sorry, work was crazy” he explains and I cut across “I need you here, I’ve gone into labor” I explain. “Shit, okay.. I’ll have Mom come and pick her up” he says fast and I shake my head “no you know she won’t let us do this alone” I sigh. “Okay, okay.. I’ll.. what about Juno?” He offers and I nod “yeah, just.. just get her here” I say as I clearly get closer to another contraction.

With in minutes, Juno comes in and looks around, I’m still on my knees in the kitchen. “Juno! She’s asleep there, she should sleep through, please just.. don’t tell them that they’re coming yeah?” I ask and she nods “I’ve got you, I won’t say a thing.. I trust you won’t say a thing in a few months when it’s my turn” she smiles softly and I beam at her “you’re kidding me?!” I ask as I get up and go to her, wrapping my arms around her “that’s amazing, I.. I’m so happy for you” I giggle. “Thank you, I’m ten weeks” she blushes. I knew that her and her girlfriend wanted a baby, but I didn’t expect her to do it at 17 and I have no idea who the dad is, but her face.. she’s so happy. “I’m so proud of you” I smile and tuck some hair back behind her ear.

“Babe?! Lena!?” Charles shouts and Juno shakes her head as if to say not to tell him. “I’ve got you” I whisper and rub her back before shouting “kitchen!”. “It’s our secret” I nod to her and squeal excitedly before he comes through. “Hey Juju” he smiles and rubs her back “hey bro, I’m going, I just came for Missy” she smiles and gets her bag and heads on out, leaving us alone.

“So you’re okay?” He checks and I nod “they’re still pretty far apart” I explain and drop the towel, letting him see my belly through the tight suit. I watch his face and see his nose flare “fuck” he whispers. I can’t help but smile as I lead to the couch “coming?” I ask and he nods, following as I go. I lay down and open my legs “I guess I need to make room right?” I ask shyly and bite my lip “I mean.. the head is going to be huge at forty weeks and I’m so tight..” I sigh, watching him get all hot and bothered.

“I..” he starts and I laugh a little “we have time, I’m not feeling movement or anything.. want to stretch me?” I offer and he swallows thickly. “There are some objects over there.. I want to push before I have to push” I say softly and he just gets up and goes for them. I go to take my swimsuit off and he shakes his head “I want that on.. I want you to struggle” he says calmly and I nod “as you please sir”.

He comes back with an inflatable ball, looking at me and I nod “you need to put it in.. how can I push it out otherwise?” I say innocently. He nods and picks up some lube, rubbing it all over me. He slides his fingers in and I groan a little before he pushes the ball in and starts to inflate it. I feel it expanding inside of me, I wouldn’t be able to play for long before baby works their way down. He starts pumping, I usually do two, maybe three. “You need to feel like you can’t do it.. practice” he smirks and I swallow thickly.

Once it’s in, I start to get a contraction and I look at him, immediately zoning out and needing to focus properly. “Come on.. this is the time to push” he tells me and my eyes widen. I pull both legs back, which is already uncomfortable, and I push a little but it scares me “babe, no, I can’t.. deflate it” I demand and he shakes his head “you need to push” he says dead pan and I start to panic, I get on my knees and look at him as I push again, cupping myself as I try to get it out. “Come out!” I groan, the contraction is not helping as I pant and wriggle through the pain. “Babe! Get it out!” I panic and he smooths my belly “it’s okay, you can do it”

“You don’t-“ I cry before pushing a finger around it “you don’t understand, I can’t get it out!” I sob and start to grunt, pushing as hard as I can. “Get it out! Get it out!” I scream “Purple! Charles, purple!!” I scream. Our codeword. “Fuck- fuck baby, I.. hold on” he says as he deflates it, pulling it out and tossing it aside, holding me and pulling me into him “baby, babe I’m so sorry, I thought-“ he starts and I shake my head “it hurt too much” I cry and just sob into him. He holds me, rocking me gently until I fall asleep. I need sleep so bad and he knows that.

I wake up about 3/4 hours later with an excruciating pain in my lower abdomen. “Mmm.. Charlie..” I grumble and rub my belly “Charlie?!” I shout seeing he’s not there. I immediately fall into a birthing breathing pattern, slowly trying to get on top of the pain until I feel a stabbing down below. “Unghh” I groan and reach to hold it “babe?!” I shout before starting to whimper through the pain. “Okay, I’m here, I’m here.. easy, babe, easy” he coaches me and I bite my lip, opening my legs again.

“Okay, we need to break these waters” he sighs and I nod, still working hard through the contraction. I’m opening up already, whether it’s just swelling or the baby, I don’t know. He pushes two fingers inside me and then nods “you’re so close” he smiles “about an eight, but we need to do this” he says softly as he puts on some gloves and a mask. “Ms Lovell” he winks and I laugh a little, the pain wearing down. “I’m just going to feel around and try to break your waters” he smirks.

“Yes doctor” I nod and lay back a little, watching him. The baby is filling me, it’s so hard but he has to have his fun. With in seconds the next contraction arrives, they are on top of eachother. “I need to hold your hand” I grumble and reach out feeling for him. He keeps his fingers inside me and then gives me his other hand. I feel his thumb on my clit, it’s all so much. “Nghh” I grunt “ahh! Baby!” I cry out as he starts to rub my clit so fast that it hurts “p-please!” I ask before he dives in and starts to suck on it “f-fuck” I mutter, the pain, the pleasure.

He starts to finger fuck me as he does all this and I just shake my head holding onto the pillow “Charlie!” I shout “Charlie! Charlie, Charlie!” I scream, partly in pain, mostly in pleasure. That’s when I feel it, the bag of waters explode inside me and flush out. I grip my thigh tightly and look to Charles “fucking hell” I mutter as I look down at the puddle in between my thighs.

[johnnysnostril]

nct 127

when you’re on your period

if you’re anything like me- your period cramps can be hell and hurt like a motherfucker. ��� so, i thought it would be cute to write little stories of how the boys would react when you’ve just started your period. ❤️ to all my girls suffering right now, this ones for you. ✨

in no specific order 🤍

“baby?” haechan yelled as he made his way inside my apartment. i moved my lips to groan but nothing came out. “where are you?” he sang in a happy tone.

i pushed my palms into my pelvis and rolled on my side. “i brought you some goodies, my love.” he whispered as he entered my bedroom. the room was dark and silent- just the way i liked it when my time of the month started.

“aww- my poor baby.” haechan whined. “don’t worry, i’ll take care of you.” a small smile appeared on my lips as he kissed my forehead. taking a seat on the side of the bed, he turned my table lamp on- shielding my eyes with his other hand. “just close your eyes, babe.” i did as i was instructed.

haechan shuffled through the shopping bag, popping seals and opening a few bottles. “what is that?” i mumbled. “i got some pain meds for you.. i just wasn’t sure which ones to get, so i got a couple.” he whispered. “also-“ as i opened my eyes, he reached back into the bag- pulling out a heating pad. “i’m sure this will help a lot.” breathing a laugh, i reached out for him. “baby- you didn’t have to do all of this.” haechan shook his head and leaned down to hug me. “i know i didn’t have to, but i wanted to.” he swiftly kissed my forehead and laughed a bit. “now here.” he said plugging in the heating pad. i pushed back my blanket as he wrapped the pad around my tummy. “how’s that feel?” haechan rubbed my thigh and titled his head. i nodded and shut my eyes. “a little better.” he smiled before dumping two small advil’s into his palm. “can you sit up so you can take these?”

sitting up, i threw the gel pills in my mouth and swallowed it down with some water. “thank you.” i whispered. as haechan turned off the light, he climbed in bed next to me and cuddled me into his chest. “you’re very welcome, my love.” haechan ran his fingers through my hair softly, and started to sing in a low tone. i breathed in his scent, feeling more at home than i ever had before. “i love you-“ he whispered as i drifted off to sleep.

“babe.. babe… wake up.” i heard johnny’s voice whisper to me. as i slowly opened my eyes, i noticed johnny standing next to my side of the bed. “baby- you gotta get up.” he continued. “what’s wrong?” i mumbled as i rubbed my eyes. as i started to turn over, johnny gently pushed his palm into my lower back. “wait- don’t move yet.” i furrowed my brows, staying in my position. “what are you doing?” i groaned as i looked over towards the clock. “it’s 3:45am.” i whined. hurrying over to the bed, johnny came back with extra clothes and a towel- setting them on the mattress. he gently picked me up, bridal style, and carried me to the bathroom. “you started your period, baby.” he said in a gentle tone. i instantly panicked as we reached the bathroom. “put me down.” i demanded.

as my feet reached the floor, i felt the shooting pain through my hips and back- along with my pelvis area. as johnny flipped the light switch on, he began to run a bath for me. i covered my face, crying from embarrassment. “baby.” johnny groaned. “don’t cry- it’s okay.” he pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. “i’m so embarrassed.” i mumbled. “don’t be.” he laughed. “there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, okay?” johnny stepped back and gently cupped my cheeks, kissing my lips. “it’s alright. let’s get you out of these clothes.” as he undressed me, he folded up my stained underwear and shorts, then helped me into the bubble bath. i watched as he removed the sheets and took them to the laundry room, along with my clothes.

washing my body, i finished my bath and let the water out, cleaning myself off completely. johnny made his way back in with a towel and wrapped it around me as i stepped out. leading me back out to the bedroom, i noticed the new sheets and some medicine on my side of the table. “just in case.” he smiled.

johnny watched me as i redressed myself and took a pain pill. he patted the space next to him on the mattress and reached out for me. i cuddled into his chest and shut my eyes. “i’m sorry..” i whispered. “shhh- you don’t have to apologize. just get some rest, baby.” he whispered back. johnny rubbed his palm up and down my back, helping me drift off to sleep. “my baby..” he mumbled.

“babe!” i squealed as taeyong entered our apartment. his smile was bright as he shut the door behind him. running up to him, i forced him into a hug- wrapping my arms around his body. “my god, i missed you.” he mumbled into my neck. we stood there for a moment, holding each other before i let go. “i missed you too.”

as he turned to lock the door, i skipped back over to the couch.

“what were you-“ he started. “um…babe-“ he said cutting himself off. i turned around and smiled at him. “what?” i chuckled. the look on his face was serious as he took my hand and lead me to the bathroom. “shower with me.” he chuckled. i furrowed my brows. “why? do i stink?” i said folding my arms. he shook his head and embraced me. “of course not- you never do. just- shower with me.” he said repeating himself. i pulled back from him and watched as he started the shower, taking off his shirt. “but, why?” i said innocently. “we never really shower together..” i mumbled. “babe- just come on, please.” taeyong took my hand and smiled before kissing my fingers. i pouted. “you think i stink..” i said looking down. “honey, you don’t stink- for the last time.” he sighed before walking me over to the mirror and turning my body around. “you started your period, babe.” he said kissing my temple. i inhaled sharply as i looked back at myself in the mirror. i covered my behind with my hands and backed away from him. “oh my god..” i said embarrassed. taeyong shook his head and grabbed my hands. “you’re okay, babe.”

he started to undress me as i stood there, in shock.

as we entered the shower, taeyong let me stand under the water first- to rinse myself off. he started to wash my body, kissing my forehead as the water showered down on us. “i can’t believe you just saw that..” i groaned. he laughed and pulled me into his chest. “it doesn’t matter, honey. i don’t see you any differently.” he admitted. “yeah, but still.. you’re not supposed to see that.” i mentioned, feeling ashamed. “and why not?” he questioned. “because, what if you don’t love me anymore..” i whined as i began to cry. “oh, baby.” he chuckled. “i’ll always love you- just because you got a little blood on your pants, don’t mean i won’t love you anymore. stop it.” he said squeezing me into a hug. i cried on his chest and wrapped my arms around his bare body. “you’re so silly- i could never stop loving you.”

hanging up the phone, i squeezed my fingers into my right hip. “i hate this..” i mumbled to myself. as i dragged myself to the bed, i curled into a ball- hugging myself. i felt bad for canceling on yuta, but these cramps were just way too extreme to go to the amusement park today.

feeling my phone vibrate, i looked down- seeing yuta’s name across the screen.

“i’ll be there in 10 minutes, sweetheart.”

i smiled and internally replied to his text.

shortly after, i heard yuta open the front door. “where’s my princess?” he said happily. the sound of his voice almost made my cramps go away.

as he trotted into the bedroom, he had a big gift basket in his arms. i softly laughed as he sat down next to me, on the mattress. “what in the world is that?” i said giggled. yuta set the basket on the sheets and began to review everything. “my mom said most of these would help.” he started. “i’m not really sure what most of these are anyways- but, i know these are tampons.” he chuckled as he held the small purple box. i laughed and reached out for his hand. lacing our fingers together, i squeezed his fingers tightly. “your mom made this?” i asked. yuta nodded and reached in the basket with his free hand. “she also made homemade chocolate. it’s the best.” my lips quivered at how sweet yuta’s mother was. “i have to thank her.” i said sitting up.

“ah- you just relax right now.” yuta pushed me back and gently kissed my lips. “i’ll make you some tea and we can cuddle, okay?” he smiled, showing his pearly white teeth and i agreed. “you wait here- don’t move a muscle.” running off to the kitchen, yuta began working on the tea.

as i waited for him, i slowly went through the gift basket. there was all kinds of different tampons and pads- along with pain medicine and sweets. i chuckled and shut my eyes. “thanks mama nakamoto. you’re the best.” i whispered. returning to the bedroom, yuta handed me the tiny cup of tea before kissing my lips. i slowly sipped on the tea before laying against him as he climbed back into bed. “so, romantic comedy?” he said turning on the tv. i giggled and looked up at him. “you know me so well.”

clutching onto my stomach, i hunched over and shut my eyes. “ honey, are you okay? you’ve been in there for a while.” doyoung said as he knocked on the door. “yeah- yeah. i’m fine.” i grunted. “are you sure?” he jiggled the door knob. “why is the door locked?” he laughed. i stared down at my completely red stained panties that laid on the floor. how could i have started today? my tracker said i had a week left.

“babe?” he called out for me. i sighed and began to cry. “please.. just go away.” how could this happen? at my boyfriends house, of all places!

“what’s going on?” doyoung cried out in a worried tone. i sat on the toilet as blood continued to fall from my opening- down into the water. as he fiddled with the lock, he quickly twisted the knob, coming inside the bathroom. “doyoung!” i shouted at him as i threw the toilet paper roll in his direction. he caught it, looking over at me. his eyes darted to my panties that laid in front of my feet.

“oh, baby. did you start your period?” he said setting the roll on the counter. as he approached me, i hid my face into my palms. doyoung kneeled down next to me and rubbed my back. “it’s okay, sweetheart. tell me what you need and i’ll get it for you.” as he kissed my shoulder, he grabbed both my wrists. “are you hurting?” doyoung searched for my eyes.

i nodded as more tears fell down to my cheeks. he gently wiped my tears away and smiled angelically.

reaching over into the bottom cabinet, he pulled out a box of pads. my eyes grew in size.

“why do you have these?” i said almost laughing. he breathed a laugh and stood to his feet. “i mean- you’ve practically moved in, babe. i knew at some point that you’d need something. just in case of an emergency.” he paused for a second. “well, my mom brought them.” he said in an honest tone. “it was kind of a welcome home gift, if you will.” doyoung laughed and pushed my hair back- kissing my forehead. “i’ll grab you a pair of my boxers and some pain meds. stay put.”

he quickly zipped around the apartment, grabbing what was needed and made his way back to the bathroom. “here-“ doyoung said handing me a glass of water and two white oval pills. he set his boxers down on the counter as i swallowed down the meds. picking up my underwear, he folded them in half. “no!” i shouted as i reached out for the stained garment. “i’ll take care of it..” i mumbled. doyoung shook his head and took my hand. “baby- it’s okay.” his eyes locked with mine. “you’re already going through enough. the least i can do is wash your panties.” as he chuckled, he grabbed the glass of water out of my other hand. “let me take care of you.”

“are you okay?” jaehyun whispered in a worried tone. i nodded my head and squeezed his hand. “yes, i’m fine.” i lied. “babe, we can go home if you’re in too much pain.” i shook my head. “no- i promise i’m fine. this is the only time you’ll be free. i wanna take advantage of this.” i mumbled before looking back over at the movie screen. “now, shh.” i giggled. jae kept his eyes on me for a moment before looking back at the screen and sighing.

as the movie ended, jaehyun wrapped his arm around my waist while we walked out to the lobby. “still doing okay?” he said examining my steps. “mhm.” i grunted.

i actually felt like my pelvis was going to drop right to the floor. “babe- you’re a terrible liar.” he laughed. “i can tell you’re hurting just by the way you’re walking.” i huffed and looked up at him as we exited the movie theater. “i’m sorry- i just didn’t wanna ruin the date.” reaching his car, he opened the passenger side door for me. “babe, the way you feel is more important than a movie date.” before getting in the vehicle, jae kissed my forehead and helped me into my seatbelt.

pulling into our driveway, he helped me out of the car. “straight to the tub, little missy.” he demanded. “why?” i asked as we entered the house. jaehyun laughed and hung his car keys on the key holder. “do you have to question everything?” he said before folding his arms and approaching me. i nodded. “only when you’re being bossy.” i giggled. my smile faded as i felt a sharp pain in my stomach. i slightly hunched over and jae took my hand. “come on- no more standing for awhile.”

i climbed into the hot water, sinking down to the bottom slowly. “how’s the water?” jaehyun asked. “it’s fine-“ the bubbles attached to my sink as i rested into the water. i shut my eyes as jaehyun watched from outside the tub. he sat and leaned against the bathroom wall. “i really hate that i can’t do anything to help with the pain.” he whispered. i opened my eyes and looked over at him. “i promise i’m okay.” i laughed a little. “there is one thing you can do-“ i said reaching my hand out for his. jae smiled and took my hand. “and what’s that?” his dimples showed on his cheeks and he tilted his head. “join me.” i said smiling innocently.

without hesitation, jaehyun stood up and started to undress and i watched with glistening eyes. scooting up to make room, i tucked my knees into my chest as he climbed in behind me. positioning me in between his legs, he pulled me back to rest against him. jaehyun wrapped his arms around me and i placed my hands on top of his. he caressed my tummy with his thumb and kissed my temple. “can i do anything else? massage your hips? anything?” he asked. i shook my head and smiled. “no- just this. this- is perfect.” i mumbled.

changing into a new pair of panties, i climbed back on the bed. “taeil..” i whispered and tapped his shoulder. “babe..” i mumbled. his eyes slightly opened as he turned over to look at me. “what’s wrong, baby?” he groaned in a sleepy tone. “umm.. i, uh-“ i started. the words wouldnt come out. i was too embarrassed. as i sat on my heels, looking down at him, i played with my fingers. “what is it? is everything okay?” taeil had completely turned his body to face me. his eyes were halfway open as he reached up and rested his palm on my cheek. “i kinda just.. started my period.” i whispered. “and-“ as i slowly pulled back the blanket, i pointed to the red stain. “i accidentally got it on the sheets.” i said ashamed. “aw, baby. are you okay?” taeil sat up and turned on the small lamp that rested on his night stand. he completely ignored the fact that i just stained his sheets with my blood. “uh, yes- i’m fine. but your sheets.” i huffed. “forget the sheets, i’ll just wash them. how are you feeling?”

“embarrassed..” i said getting off the bed and walking over to my night bag. searching for some pain meds, i rummaged through the duffle bag. “why, baby? it’s not a big deal.” he chuckled, standing to his feet. as he approached me from behind, i groaned- giving up the search. “what are you looking for?” taeil said as he rubbed my back. i ran my fingers through my hair, feeling my emotional pull taking place. “pain pills.. these cramps are kicking my ass.” i said almost in tears. “i bled through my favorite pair of undies and onto your sheets. i’m so annoyed.”

taeil immediately pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. i wrapped my arms around him and pouted. “i’ll go grab some medicine for you. we can wash your underwear with the sheets. it’s going to be okay babe.” he whispered softly. “what else do you need?”

“taeil, it’s 2am. you’re not going to the store just for some pain pills. i’ll be okay..” pulling out of the hug, he looked disappointed with my reply. “i said what else do you need, babe?” he cupped my chin and looked right into my eyes. “i’ll change the sheets then you can lay back down. i shouldn’t be gone that long.” without giving me time to protest, taeil quickly ripped the sheets off the bed- replacing them with new ones. i stood in the center of the room as i watched him pull his sweatshirt over his head and step into some sweatpants. “if you don’t tell me the specifics, i’ll just grab everything.” he laughed. “tampons- just tampons.” i replied quickly as i hugged myself.

after slipping on his shoes, he grabbed his car keys and wallet- making his way over to me. “you don’t have to be so stubborn, babygirl.” taeil smiled and gently kissed my lips. “i’ll be back. why don’t you lay down.” he said nodding in the direction of the bed. i sighed and wrapped my arms around him to give him a hug. “thank you..” i mumbled into his chest. he chuckled and hugged back. “you don’t have to thank me baby- this is my job. i’m supposed to take care of you.”

“shit-“ i said staring down at my stained underwear. i folded them up and shoved them in my backpack. “ commando it is.” i rolled my eyes and sighed as i exited the bathroom stall. after washing my hands, i turned to look at my backside in the mirror. “no!” i groaned. i had actually leaked through the back of my pants as well. “how didnt i notice that?” i said to myself in an annoyed tone. “ugh!”

sneaking out of the girls bathroom, i stayed close to the wall, looking for jungwoo out towards the cafeteria. spotting each other at the same time, i waved him over in a quick manner. jungwoo jogged over to me and smile, letting his backpack hang off one shoulder. “you okay?” he said kissing my cheek. i shook my head and looked up at him as i clutched my backpack to my chest.

“i bled through.” i whispered. he laughed and leaned his ear down to my lips. “what?” i huffed and cupped his ear as i whispered again. “i bled through my pants, babe.” as i pulled back, jungwoo was already removing his hoodie. tossing his backpack on the ground, he grabbed my waist- tying the sweatshirt around my hips.

“let’s get you home.” as we walked through the crowd of high schoolers, i felt like everyone knew about my little accident. reaching the parking lot, jungwoo opened the car door for me. “but i don’t wanna stain your hoodie.” i whined. “nevermind that. just get in.” his eyes were soft as he looked down at me. i pouted and did as i was told.

reaching my house, i quickly hurried inside with jungwoo behind me. “you don’t have to stay.” i said making my way to the laundry room. “what? why wouldn’t i?” he asked surprised. i quickly tossed my underwear into the washer and slammed the lid down as jungwoo stood in the doorway. “you don’t have to be embarrassed, babe. it’s okay.” he laughed. i ignored his comment and walked past him, running upstairs into my bedroom. of course, he followed behind me- but in a slow manner. pulling out a clean pair of underwear and pants, i slid them on my body and kicked the dirty pants under the bed. as jungwoo entered the room, he pulled me into a gentle hug. “relax.” he started. “you don’t have to hide anything from me.”

“do you need anything?” he whispered. i shook my head. “no-no. i’m fine.” i answered back. “baby, let me help you.” jungwoo took my hand and lead me over to the bed- laying me down, then sat next to me. “i know you must be cramping. do you need anything for the pain?” he asked. waving my white flag, i sank into the sheets and wrapped myself up in my blanket. i nodded to answer his question, feeling slightly helpless. “where’s your pain pills? i’ll go grab them.” i pointed over to the bathroom. “inside the medicine cabinet.” i mumbled. jungwoo smiled down at me as he pushed my hair out of my face. “do you need anything else? tea? a hot towel?”

in this moment, i was falling more in love with him. once again, i shook my head. he slowly got up and made his way to the bathroom, searching for the medicine. “i love you.” i mumbled.

gently rocking myself side to side, i squeezed my eyes shut. i pushed my palms into my pelvis area to try and massage myself but it wasn’t working. “dude! how’d that even happen?” mark shouted at his video game. i cuddled myself into his blanket as i laid on his bed. i should really say something. maybe he could just take me home for the night. “shit- i almost died, dude.” he laughed.

a sharp stabbing feeling ran through my body and i groaned a little too loud. mark quickly looked back to check on me before turning back to his game. “babe- you okay?” his fingers clicked against his controller quickly. i couldn’t move my mouth to speak. in all honesty, i was holding my breath- thinking the pain would subsided if i wasn’t breathing. “babe.” mark called out for me again. i was silent. “no, not you- you idiot.” he said laughing into his mic that was attached to his headphones.

covering my face with the blanket, i was almost ready to cry. “ouuuch.” i mumbled, squeezing onto my stomach. “what’s going on over there?” mark voiced. “what are you doing?” thinking he was talking to his friends on the game, i ignored him once again. “hellooooo.” he stretched out. i pouted underneath the blanket and tucked my knees into my chest. “yikes- i gotta go. i think i’m in trouble.” mark laughed. as he said his goodbyes, i heard him set the controller down and shut off his gaming system. “baby-“ he groaned. “what’s wrong?”

mark climbed into bed with me, tossing the blanket off my head. “why are you hiding?” he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed. “ouuuuuuch!” i whined. mark quickly pulled his arms back and sat up. “i’m sorry- i didn’t think i was squeezing that hard.” we were silent for a moment before mark placed his hand on my thigh. “are you mad at me, babe?” he asked. i shook my head. “then what’s wrong?” he chuckled.

“i’m cramping..” i mumbled. mark slightly hovered over me and he kissed my temple. “babygirl, why didn’t you say something? what can i do?” he softly began to massage my hips, being very gentle. “i don’t know..” i mumbled. “i have some advil- i can grab it for you.” i nodded and mark quickly darted for the medicine. as he made his way back over to me, he handed me a glass of water- along with the pill. he watched me take the pill before i handed the glass of water back to him.

closing the blinds, he made sure that the room was dark and comfortable. mark climbed into his bed with me and cuddle me against his chest. he ran his long fingers through my hair and massaged my scalp. “i’m sorry baby, i wish i could do more.” he whispered. i wrapped my arms around him and took in his scent. “i feel a little better already.” i replied.

[uwuwriting]

A little early for that w/ Todoroki, Shinsou and Bakugou

Request: hii can i req a hc of todo, shinsou, and bakugou seeing y/n taking care of eri then they’ll be like “i want a baby with you” :D - anonymous

Don’t get me started on the latest BNHA chapter. I just don’t want to talk about it. I’ll try to make a double upload today so maybe expect a song fic after this one Love ya.💖💖💖

masterlist II rules

warnings: fluff

Todoroki Shoto 

-It was during Eri’s visit during christmas that it hit Todo. 

-You were dressed in a Santa costume just like everyone else with Eri gripping your hand as you took her around the room explaining all about Christmas celebrations. 

-It was a very mundane moment if you think about it. 

-You were being kind and caring to a child who had suffered immensely at the hands of Overhaul and you wanted to show her what the holiday was all about. 

-Now that he thinks of it, it shouldn’t have struck him like it did. 

-His chest became warm and fuzzy, his cheeks heating up a bit as he stared at you and Eri. 

-Then you kneeled down and brought Eri into a hug, raising her into the air so she could place an ornament on the class’s tree and it was game over for him. 

-He prides himself in being a rather collected person but at that moment he lost all sense of control over his emotions. 

-His mouth hung open and his chest started to squeeze, knocking the breath out of him. 

-He couldn’t help the thoughts of the both of  you owning a house somewhere not very far from Tokyo, waking up to you every morning , making breakfast with you and enjoying all the moments you shared. 

-Then other images flooded his mind. 

-Sitting in the living room as you steadied your toddler, a perfect mix of the two of you, helping them waddle towards him. 

-Him helping them place the ornament at the very top of your Christmas tree every time you decorated.

-He could see your smile so vividly he almost thought it was real. 

-It was a ridiculous thought for a 16 year old to have and he knew it but in that moment he let himself imagine it. 

-Before he knew it you were standing next to him, Eri running off to Aizawa excited to share what she just learned about christmas,  arms crossed over your chest as you let out a happy sigh. 

- “My santa work is done for the day.”

- “You would make a great mom” 

- *pikachu meme*

-He sensed your confusion *and so did your dead ancestors*

- “I want to be next to you when that happens.” 

-Girl you got whiplash from this whole conversation. 

-You couldn’t decide if you were soft and giddy since he basically said that he wants to start a family with you or if you were terrified because he said he wants to start A FAMILY WITH YOU WHEN YOU’RE BARELY 16. 

-In his defense he didn’t say he wanted to start now. 

-So you kinda calmed down. 

- “I-um thank you Sho. I think you would make a great father too.”

-Blushy blushy baby after that one. 

-Some denial sprinkled on top because trauma but blushy blushy boy. 

Shinsou Hitoshi

-Okay now third year Shinsou is a stressed Shinsou. 

-A third year you is a stressed you. 

-And a field day with your now ten year old somewhat trauma free adopted by your homeroom teacher child was what you both needed. 

-Shinsou is like a big brother to Eri at this point. 

-He has babysat her one too many times to not be considered at least a stable figure in her life. 

-You had decided to take a stroll in the park, the autumn air and all the pretty leaves making it a sight to behold. 

-Plus it had a pond with ducks. 

-And you love ducks. 

-Shinsou had brought some bread crumbs so you could feed them and that’s what you were doing when it hit him. 

-That weird domesticity. 

-You were crouched down on Eri’s height, one arm wrapped securely around her small waist so she wouldn’t fall into the pond and the other was outstretched with a piece of bread, motioning to the ducks to approach you. 

-It was a nice scene, picture perfect if you asked him and it did something to his heart strings. 

-Just like Todo he imagined walking home with you after a tiring day at your agency, your hands intertwined, matching golden bands circling your ring fingers. 

-He imagined a little Y/N being next to you and not Eri. 

-Vibrant purple hair sticking out at every which direction as they would throw bread at the ducks maybe even calling him over when one got too close. 

-He was so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn’t noticed you standing in front of him, waving your hand over his eyes so you could get his attention. 

- “Earth to Toshi!” 

-You giggled when he shook his head, his eyes wide as he stared at your smiling features. 

- “Eri is hungry-” “You are hungry Y/N-chan!!!” “- and she wanted to go get some good old onigiri from that new shop that opened down the street.” “Lies…”

-You side-eyed the little girl who outed you, her own eyes staring right back in accusation as you let out a sigh saying under your breath “I’m hungry”

-He couldn’t control his laughter as it bubbled from his lips, ruffling Eri’s hair while giving you a kiss on the lips as he circled his arm around your waist and took Eri’s with his other one. 

- “Can’t say no to my girls now, can I?” 

-It was later that night when he voiced his thoughts. 

-You were asleep in his dorm, laying basically on him with your head tucked in his neck as you breathed evenly. 

- “It’s a little early to think of kids but I can’t wait to have one with you.” 

-And with that he fell asleep his dreams being filled with images of you.

Bakugou Katsuki 

-You managed to get him to say that???

-Mister tough as balls?

-Mister imma roundhouse kick you if you look at me with affection in your eyes?

-Someone get this girl a medal. 

-But in all seriousness it was a very motherly move. 

-You were in your second year, the events of the war with the villains still haunting all of you so everyone was keeping an eye on their loved ones and their classmates. 

-Bakugou was no exception .

-Seeing people getting hurt severely, seeing himself so defeated and hurt during those battles had rattled him and he would always linger close to you, a slight paranoia having taken his place in his heart the past few months. 

-You understood why he did it, why he hovered next to you most of the time and if you were being honest it didn’t really bother you * except from that one time you went to the bathroom and he called you three times in a row bc he couldn’t see you and panicked*

-Eri was running around with Kaminari and Sero, the three of them playing tag with the one brain cell they all shared at the moment. 

-Suddenly, Eri tripped and fell, scraping her knee on the pavement, small tears forming in her eyes but she didn’t let them fall. 

-In a flash you were next to her, a hand massaging her knee around the area of the wound while the other one was cupping her cheek, your thumb making small circles on the girl’s cheekbones. 

- “It’s just a scratch. See? It’s not that bad.”

-Bakugou was just staring at the scene unfolding in front of him, his immediate thoughts being that you looked so motherly in that moment. 

-The concern and the reassurance reminded him of his mother when she would calm him down after he got hurt, before she became a pain in the ass *as he likes to say*.

-Without him even realizing it he made a mental image of your shared family. 

-A house in the outskirts, with a yard, maybe a dog running around. 

-But most importantly a little demon that looked like you, climbing onto your shared bed on his day off, nestling in between you two as it went back asleep.

-You making breakfast while having them in your arms. 

-He really wished he could see that now. 

-But he’s a little young and you wouldn’t really like having a baby before finishing high school sooo he kinda buried it. 

-He told you about it when you both were in his dorm getting ready for a movie night. 

-It was a more aggressive approach but you got the point of his little rant. 

- “I want to spend my life with you too Katsu.” 

- “SHUT UP SHITTY WOMAN!”

- “OI!”

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