#my mom tried to have a convo with me standing up. had to interrupt her mid sentence before my legs gave out

[coelakanths]

i feel like my mom doesn’t even understand covid symptoms LMAO today i was telling her that i couldn’t stand up for very long and that i was super tired all the time n she was like “hmm… you probably just need to eat more!” no mom i have a disease

[bts-reveries]

expect the unexpected | 19

(images in between and in the end)

Jin had just picked up his two oldest and is now back in his office. It’s been a long day. Having Haneul alone with him was already a hard time but adding two more? He tried his best to maintain his composure as Yeonjun told him the rest of the schedule for today. 

“So right now we have all this paperwork to go through because it has to be sent out today, and then we have to go to a video shoot at 4:30pm. Jungkook should be here soon. Afterwards, when we get back, we have a meeting regarding the promotional photoshoots for the new drama, Save Me, with their Director, Producer, and the seven lead actors.” Yeonjun says. “I heard it’s really good. Kind of confusing actually when I saw the trailer. There’s this seven group of friends and they all make some sort of bad decision in their lives and they.. Well not all of them but I think some of them die? Then come back to life? I don’t know, but one of them is a time traveler I think..” Yeonjun trailed on, looking up as he thought back to the trailer.                              

Although, Jin wasn’t really listening. 

“Dad, what does this word mean?” Minseok asks, pointing to his book. 

“Daddy can we get ice cream in the cafeteria,” Soojin says, holding onto the door knob. 

“Carry meee,” Haneul whines, he’s standing by Jin’s leg, trying to climb onto his dad’s lap.

“Anyways,” Yeonjun says, going back on track. “It should be fun. They’ll be here around 6pm. Which, I understand, is around dinner time, but it was the only available time they had for a meeting. This drama was a big hit on webtoon. It’s good exposure for us for them to use our studio.” 

“Dad!” Minseok called, he’s now standing next to Jin. “Can you help me please? I don’t know this word.”

“DDDAAAAAADDDYY!” Soojin yells. “Can we please get ice cream!”

“Caaarryyy meeeeee!” Haneul screams, bursting into tears. 

Jin drops his head into his hands. “My head. Is going. To ex-plode.”

“Minseok, I’ll help you with your homework, come with me,” Yeonjun says, finally realizing how tired and stressed Jin was. Minseok glances at his dad before walking towards Yeonjun and grabbing onto his hand that he was holding out. Then Soojin came running to Jin’s side, where Minseok was just standing.

“Daddy you’re not listening to me,” Soojin frowns. Jin turns to the side and looks at her. His sweet, precious daughter. The one he can never say no to.

“Soojin it’s cold, you’re going to get sick if you eat ice cream,” Jin calmly says. “And you haven’t even done your homework yet. Go with Minseok and Uncle Yeonjun and do your homework with them.”

Soojin’s lip starts to quiver, “but I just want to eat a little bit. I can do my homework when I’m done…” 

“Soojin, daddy said no. Now go,” Jin says, turning to the side to pick up Haneul. He was still crying his eyes out. Soojin looked down, a big frown on her face and tears started running down her face. Jin was too busy wiping Haneul’s tears away and shushing him that he didn’t know Soojin was crying until he heard her sobbing when she walked away. 

“Soojin,” Jin called out. She didn’t answer, nor did she look back. “Soojinie,” Jin calls again. “Yah, Kim Soojin!”

“w-AHH!” Jin yells, the three, Yeonjun, Minseok, and Soojin all looked back at Jin when they heard him yell.

Yeonjun has never seen him so mad before. 

Jin puts down Haneul and stands up. 

Hot coffee dripped down his suit. His tie and white dress shirt was completely soaked. 

Jin puts both hands on his desk, leaning forward as he sighs. 

Haneul wasn’t done crying, flailing his hand around and started hitting things on the table, grabbing things, causing Jin’s cup of coffee to come flying at his chest. Not to mention, spilling all over the paperwork that had to be done.

“Sir, I have a sweatshirt you can borrow in my bag,” Yeonjun says, standing up immediately to grab his duffle bag. He usually worked out in the gym Jin had a whole floor of in his building. “You can change into it now so you don’t get all sticky,” he says, handing a white sweatshirt to Jin. Jin says a quiet thank you, grabbing the sweatshirt from Yeonjun and placing it on the back of his chair as he took off his blazer, his tie, and his white dress shirt. 

Haneul was still sniffling and he quickly ran to Yeonjun when he made eye contact with his dad. 

“Yeonjun,” Jin says. “Do you have the soft copy for these,” he says, pointing to the sticky mess on his table.

“Yes sir,” Yeonjun says, running over to get his laptop. “I’ll send them to you right now.” Jin sounded awfully calm right now, which scared the kids even more. Minseok was fidgeting with his book as he looked at his dad and Soojin was sitting next to him, playing with her hands. Haneul was standing by the couch, trying to hide. He would take small glances at his dad as he watched him clean up the mess he made.

“And also, we can’t cancel the meeting so just make sure our guests feel welcome when they come here for our meeting. I’ll connect from my laptop because we’ll be going home soon. I’ll continue my work there. You’re in charge here, make sure everyone is in that meeting and please have someone set up a TV in our boardroom so they can all see me when I connect. Umm, yeah, that’s all-- Oh, I won’t be there for the video shoot. We won’t get anything done and will only be a bother if I come with the kids so just go with Jungkook okay?”

“Okay sir.” 

“Kids pack your stuff, we’re going to leave in a bit,” Jin says, going back to cleaning his desk. The kids hurriedly grabbed their things, stuffing it into their backpacks.

Jin wasn’t mad often, but when he was…

He’s definitely scary.

-

“Hello everyone, first of all, thank you all for being here. I apologize that I couldn’t be there with you in person. I really wanted to be there but I am working as both CEO and dad tonight,” Jin says lightheartedly. He watches everyone smile through his laptop. “Second of all, I want to apologize beforehand. My three kids might pop up here and there and interrupt, but I talked to them before this and we should be okay. But just in case,” Jin says, raising his head to see if the kids are nearby. His office had clear doors for him to be able to see the kids.

“Okay, so it looks like the coast is clear,” Jin jokes, we can start our meeting now. Jin nods his head, gesturing for the first person to go ahead and start off the meeting. First they had to talk about the drama and it’s concept so they can have a feel of how they can take the photos. 

“Daddy,” Jin hears from the side. He shuts his eyes, taking a deep breath before moving his head out of frame to see Haneul peeking in the room. “I want to stay with you..” 

Jin mutes his mic before talking to Haneul. 

“Daddy’s in the meeting, can you please go to your brother and sister and wait until I’m done?”

Haneul shakes his head no, walking towards Jin. “I want to stay with youu~” He says, trying to climb onto Jin’s lap yet again.

Jin sighs, pulling Haneul up and placing him on his lap. 

“What do you think, Mr. Kim?” 

Jin’s eyes widened, unmuting himself. “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”

The director laughs. “We’re thinking of doing one concept as school themed. Since the seven characters will be meeting at school in the drama. Would we be able to do that?”

“Yes, that sounds good. We have school props that we can use for the photoshoots, like desks and the blackboard. Yeonjun show them a picture that we have from a previous photoshoot where we did a school concept.”

“I don’t like that,” Haneul says, causing a few heads to look up. Jin looks down and shushes him. 

“It’s not for you to like,” he says.

-

As the meeting went on, Haneul got bored and began picking at things on the table. 

“Haneul please don’t touch anything,” Jin says, moving Haneul’s hand away from the table and holding onto them.

“What is it Mr. Kim?”

“Oh no sorry, I was talking to my son. Please,” Jin says, moving a hand to gesture to the camera. “Continue.”

After Jin lets go of Haneul’s hands, he immediately slams a hand on the keyboards, shutting it off.

“What did you do!” Jin yells. Trying to turn the laptop back on but it looks like it froze or something because it wasn’t turning on.

“I don’t want to be in the meeting,” Haneul says, watching Jin frantically trying to get his laptop to work. Jin sighs in annoyance, grabbing Haneul and putting him down next to him.

“Then why didn’t you stay with your siblings?” He says. “This is an important meeting Haneul, I was already supposed to be there in person and now I can’t even join--”

“I just want to play--”

“I’m speaking right now,” Jin says to him, turning to look him in the eye. 

“Okay,” Haneul answers quietly. 

“Is that right or not?”

“That’s right.”

“You did something wrong, do you agree?” 

Haneul nods, his lip beginning to quiver and his eyes starting to water. 

“Go stand in the corner, you’re in a time out,” Jin tells him, nodding to the corner of his office. Haneul burst into tears as he ran to the corner where his dad told him to go, holding his face in his hands.

“Stay there until I finish my meeting,” Jin tells him, returning back to his laptop. It still wasn’t turning on. 

Jin runs his hand through his hair, scratching the back of his head. He grabs his phone and texts Yeonjun.

“Haneul shut off my laptop and it’s not turning on. I’ll connect through my phone just give me a few minutes.”

-

expect the unexpected

♡ part nineteen: daddy said no ♡ 

pairings: ceo, dad!jin x interior designer, mom!reader

a/n: the part where jin says “im speaking right now” to “you did something wrong do you agree?” and everything in between was a real convo between him and yoongi when he kept talking while jin was talking😭 i’ll reblog this later with a link lol

edit: actually here it is: 0:39-0:44

taglist: @silentlyimpractical @jillianmarie @waddlebby @cecedrake2217 @ddofa @samros95 @sope-and-shine @joonjoonsmiles @codeinebelle @aianloveseven @Chamchamcham @princessjazzyjazz @notvantaes @casspirit0705 @ramyagovindraj @brinnalaine @ephyra1230 @betysotelo18 @thoughtfultaledreamer @salty-for-suga @cosmicdaylight @dreamcatcherjiah @kookoo-kachoo @justinetingball  @josierosie @jayhope88 @butterflylion @hobiismyhopeu @momma-said-that-it-was-oke @ygbubs @catspancake  @somewhereofftheglobe @strawberryforever25 @rjsmochii @prdshobi @beeeb05 @eatjeanjin @taekookcaneatme @Cheeely14 @kookietsukkie @anpanman-sonyeondan @glitteringcoffeefreak @chocobetterknot @alpaca1612 @ohmy-fandoms @liljooniecutie @Jikachoo @preciouschimine @fan-ati--c @Joondala @httpmuffin @dammit-jjk @jikooksgirl19

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[morganaspendragonss]

Tarlos prompt.

Carlos just had a break down about life. And his mum sorts him out. Which ends in his Mum having a convo with TK about how much Carlos and her were close until the weird coming out thing

thank you so much for your prompt! i hope you enjoy what i came up with!

also written for day 1 of @911lonestarangstweek: Emotional whump + “How do we fix this?”

ao3 | 2.1k

Of all the people TK might have expected to show up at the house when Carlos is on shift, Andrea Reyes is not one of them.

Unfortunately, however, she has, and TK is now painfully aware that he’s barefoot, wearing a stained t-shirt and sweats in front of his boyfriend’s mother, who he has only officially met once. She raises a solitary eyebrow, looking him up and down, and TK flushes deeply.

“Um, Mrs Reyes, hi,” he stammers. “Carlos is at work.”

“I know.” She smirks at his clear surprise, then gestures inside. “Can I come in?”

“Oh, uh, sure.” TK steps aside, wringing his hands together nervously as Mrs Reyes walks in. She looks around the space as though seeing it for the first time, which he vaguely registers as strange, given Carlos has lived here for years. Most of his mind, however, is taken up with freaking out over the fact that Carlos’s mother is here; she had seemed nice enough when Carlos had taken him over for Sunday dinner last week, but TK is in no way prepared for one-on-one interactions yet.

Especially now, when he’s barely been awake for an hour. “I-If you want to take a seat,” he says, trying to tame his anxiety, “I’ll just go and get changed into something a little more, um, presentable.”

He’s about to make a break for the stairs when Mrs Reyes catches his arm, her grip gentle but firm. “Don’t be silly,” she admonishes. “I may be Carlos’s mother, but this is your home too, no?”

“Well… It’s not... We don’t exactly… Can I get you something to drink?”

“You can sit down.”

Mrs Reyes smiles in clear amusement, and TK’s pretty sure he couldn’t be redder if he tried. He studiously avoids eye contact as he shuffles to the opposite end of the couch, sinking down into it with his gaze firmly fixed on his lap. He wishes Carlos were here, but he’s still got hours left on his shift. 

Which reminds him. “Mrs, Reyes, I don’t mean to be rude, but…” He trails off, unsure how to phrase the question without sounding horrifically insulting. 

Thankfully, she seems to understand. “You’re wondering what I’m doing here.”

TK nods. “Not that you’re not welcome!” he hurries to say. “But I figured you’d be here to see Carlos, only he’s not here, so… So.”

He winces at his own awkwardness, knowing he’s cutting a stark contrast to his behaviour at dinner. Sure, he can turn on the charm when he’s prepared and awake and with Carlos, but alone, half-asleep, and totally not expecting a visit? 

He’s doomed.

Mrs Reyes sighs deeply. When TK looks back up at her, her expression has turned sad, a weariness in her face.

“Carlos came by our house before his shift this morning.”

TK raises a surprised eyebrow at the news; Carlos had left at six this morning, and he hadn’t said anything about going to see his parents. Not that he was supposed to, but TK can’t help but worry, especially with the way Mrs Reyes is looking at him.

“You know that two days ago was his first shift back after the suspension, yes?” she continues, nodding at TK’s confirmation. “He… When he arrived this morning, he was distressed, panicking over everything - mostly work, but he hinted at other things that I don’t… I’m not really sure what he was talking about. I was hoping you might have a little more insight?”

TK’s heart clenches at her words, but he forces a smile for Mrs Reyes’s sake. “What did he say?”

“What I understood was that he was anxious about going back to work. He thinks that no-one trusts him anymore, and he said that maybe they were right not to. I told him he was being crazy, but I don’t know if he listened to me.”

“Carlos never told me any of this,” TK whispers, horrified. He’d had no idea Carlos had been struggling so much, and he could kick himself for not pushing when he’d said that he was fine.

Mrs Reyes smiles thinly. “Of course he didn’t,” she says, almost fondly. “My Carlitos is a worrier; he’ll fuss over everyone else and never give a thought to himself, even if it runs him into the ground. I’m sure you know this.” She gestures to the scar on his forehead, and TK reaches up to touch it, running his fingers lightly over the ridged tissue.

He nods, sighing. “I’m sorry,” he says, barely able to look at her now. “I should have made sure he was okay. I asked, of course I did, but -”

Mrs Reyes cuts him off by reaching over to grab his hand. She smiles at him when TK looks up in shock, then squeezes gently. “You are not to blame. Carlitos can be very stubborn, especially when it comes to himself. He gets that from his father.”

She chuckles, then her face takes on that heavy look again and she lets go of TK, sitting back in her seat. “We talked for a while about his worries over work, but there was a point when I don’t think we were just talking about his job anymore. He said something about Gabriel and never being enough for him, but he wouldn’t explain when I asked. He left soon after that.”

TK swallows nervously. He has a pretty good idea what Carlos might have been referring to, but he doesn’t have a clue how to go about talking to Mrs Reyes about it. It feels wrong to do it without Carlos’s knowledge, anyway.

“It was your husband leading the investigation, wasn’t it?” he hedges, trying to steer her in that direction.

“It was, but this was more than that, I’m sure of it.” She sighs, sudden tears glinting in her eyes and - oh, TK is so not prepared for this. “We used to be so close, you know? All of us. But, one day, something changed. I don’t know what, or why, but suddenly he started keeping his distance more, and he stopped talking to us. I love my son, I only want the best for him, but it’s been years and now I don’t know how to help him.”

She meets his eyes, her gaze almost pleading with him. “You clearly care for him, TK, and I’ve never seen my son so happy as when he’s with you. Please, if you know anything… I just want to understand.”

TK bites his lip. Talking about this with Mrs Reyes feels like a betrayal of Carlos, but he’s not seeing a way out of this anymore. If she’s half as stubborn as her son, she won’t leave until she has at least some answers, and there’s no way she’ll believe he knows nothing.

“Did things change when he was around seventeen, by any chance?” he asks eventually, guilt twisting in his gut. “Maybe just after he, um, came out?”

Her lips part in surprise, a small crease forming between her brows. “Yes. But, I don’t understand, are you implying this is because of that? All we care about is that he’s happy, not who he loves; Gabriel and I have always done our best to support Carlos.”

TK winces. “All due respect, Mrs Reyes, but I’m not so sure that’s true.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Look, this is really a conversation you should be having with Carlos, I’ve already said too much -”

“If you have something to say, TK, please, just say it.” The warmth has dropped from Mrs Reyes’s face and she seems to be holding herself tighter. TK’s heart sinks; he’s just ruined things with his boyfriend’s mother. Perfect.

He swallows, staring hard at the floor. “It’s just something that came up after we met you at the market,” he explains quietly. “Carlos...he wasn’t sure how you would react to - to us, so he did what he does best, and chose to protect us both.”

“Protect?” Mrs Reyes’s voice is horrified, and TK looks up to find her staring at him in open confusion. “From what?”

TK doesn’t respond, but his grimace must be enough to tell her all she needs to know. She gasps and lifts a hand to her mouth, eyes shining.

“We thought…” She breaks off, shaking her head. “How do we fix this?”

He sighs. “Mrs Reyes… I can’t speak for Carlos, nor can I claim to fully understand what he’s been through. I came out to my parents when I was fourteen, and they were vocal about their support, to say the least.” TK chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck, his teenage embarrassment returning for a brief moment. “I’m not saying that’s the way to go, god knows it was awkward and overwhelming for all of us, but maybe talking to him would be a start? Carlos knows you love him, ma’am, but it wouldn’t hurt to let him know that you love all of him, if you understand what I mean?”

Mrs Reyes nods, sniffing and wiping at her eyes. “Thank you, TK,” she says, sending him a barely-there smile. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.” She stands and TK hurries to follow, grabbing the door for her.

He’s equal part relieved and worried over her abrupt exit; much longer, and TK thinks he might have lost it, but he can’t shake the feeling that he’s fucked up beyond repair. So, he’s surprised when she turns in the doorway and pulls him into a gentle hug.

“I’m glad Carlitos has you,” she smiled, patting his cheek. “And, it’s Andrea.”

With that, Mrs Reyes walks out, leaving TK staring after her, more than a little confused.

*

That night, TK watches Carlos move about their bedroom, his conversation with Andrea weighing on him as he twists the bedsheets in his hands. He knows he needs to talk to Carlos about it, but he has no idea where to start.

Carlos slides into bed beside him and TK instinctively leans his head on his shoulder. He’s just about worked up enough courage to say something, when Carlos interrupts, playing with TK’s fingers.

“My mom said she stopped by today.”

TK freezes, Carlos’s careful tone sending fear down his spine. He looks up slowly, biting his lip. “I was going to tell you, I swear. I just…couldn’t figure out how.” He pauses, waiting for some sort of reaction, but none is forthcoming. “Did she… Did she tell you what we talked about?”

Carlos hums. “Some of it. She wants me to go over tomorrow to talk about the rest of it.”

TK closes his eyes, slumping back against the headboard. “Shit, Carlos, I’m so sorry. I know I overstepped. I - I shouldn’t have said half of that stuff, I was way out of line -”

“TK.” Carlos’s voice is firm but gentle, cutting through TK’s panicked rambling. He looks over at him, some of his anxiety melting at the small smile on his boyfriend’s face. “You don’t have to apologise.”

“Don’t I?”

Carlos sighs. “Would I have preferred to have been there? Sure. But I’m not mad about anything you said. I know you didn’t really want to; my mom said she practically forced it out of you.”

TK huffs a laugh, but doesn’t try to deny it. “Still,” he says. “Is everything okay between you guys now?”

“We’re fine.” Carlos pulls him close, kissing his cheek. “Don’t worry.”

“Like I could ever stop,” he mutters, resting his head on Carlos’s chest and drawing his arms around him. Carlos moves as if to lie down, but TK stops him, another question burning in his mind. “Why didn’t you say anything about how worried you were to go back to work?”

Carlos tenses, silence dragging out for a brief moment. “I didn’t want to worry you,” he confesses eventually. “You had enough on your plate with the kidnapping and recovering, and I couldn’t add onto all of that. I was dealing with it.”

TK’s heart breaks at the words, tears pricking at his eyes. “Oh, Carlos,” he breathes. He twists to meet Carlos’s gaze, gripping his hands tight. “You know I love you, right?”

Carlos nods, frowning a little. “Of course. I love you, too.”

“Exactly,” TK continues. “This relationship is a two-way street, babe. I know you like caring for people, but you’ve got to let me care for you as well. You can come to me about anything, and I promise I’ll do my best to help you, just like you do for me. Please, let me in, Carlos.”

Carlos blinks, clearing his throat. “I… I’ll try,” he says eventually, ducking his head.

TK smiles. “That’s all I ask.”

[austennerdita2533]

Hi! I would love to hear your seven favorite Luke/Lorelai episodes? Some of mine: Double Date, That Damn Donna Reed, Run Away Litl Boy, The Ins and Outs of Inns, The Incredible Shrinking Lorelais...I could pick like 25 just off the top of my head, but it's interesting how many of my favorites come from before they were actually dating! (They're an OTP for me no matter what, but I did prefer how LL were written---and how pretty much everything about the show was written---in the first four seasons over the final three and the revival!)

I love, love, love the first four seasons of Gilmore Girls! I rewatch them the most, honestly. I think they're my favorite partly because Luke and Lorelai have so many great scenes/episodes together.

Here are a few of my favorite L&L episodes. There are way more than seven because it's so hard for me to narrow them down lmao.

Pilot 1x01. They had me at "Junkie." "Angel. You've got wings, baby."

1x10 Forgiveness and Stuff. I love how he tries to cheer her up with the Santaburger, drops everything to rush her to the hospital, handles Emily like a pro, and then they also have that cute "you know you always look good" convo in the hallway. Lorelai gifts him his trademark blue hat in this one, too!

1x12 Double Date. They flirt, they play cards. My face always morphs into 😩 mode when Mrs. Kim bursts in and interrupts them. HE. GETS. SO. CLOSE. TO. ASKING. HER. OUT. WHYYYYY.

1x14 That Damn Donna Reed. Whenever I think of this episode, I can see Lorelai pulling Luke into her house by his puffy green vest *swoons* and then can hear him saying, "There really is a chick loose in here!"

2x07 Like Mother, Like Daughter. She gets so jealous when she sees him talking to that Chilton mom. "Date her, marry her, make her Mrs. Backwards Baseball cap, see if I care!"

2x08 The Ins and Outs of Inns. How can I not love this episode when we find out Luke was a Trekkie?

2x10 The Bracebridge Dinner. The sleigh ride! It's about the ambiance and the intimacy of them being snuggled up, thigh-against-thigh, beneath a blanket.

3x07 They Shoot Gilmores, Don't They? They have that lovely discussion at the dance marathon about wanting more kids while he's fixing her shoe. All of the foreshadowing was there, dammit!

3x17 A Tale of Poes and Fire. I love that Luke and Lorelai are basically finagled into a forced proximity trope because the inn catches fire. She has to spend the night at his place. She's in the bed, he's on the couch. Then she tells him about the dream she had earlier in the season about being pregnant with his twins. I just--it's so cuuute. 😭

4x05 The Fundamental Things Apply. Their first movie night! It's essentially an undate date. A precursor to them becoming a couple and finding things to do/share together, even though neither one of them realizes it yet.

4x11 In The Clamor and Clangor. I will never be over them sneaking into the church together to break the bells. It's iconic! It's also snowing, which just sets the mood. And then that whole "why don't you want me to move" conversation is so emotionally and sexually CHARGED. I die of feels every time I watch it. Die.

4x21 Last Week Fights, This Week Tights. Luke. Can. Waltz. That's all I gotta say.

4x22 Raincoats and Recipes. He brings her flowers. She's so nervous and giddy she faceplants into a door. What's not to love? Also, I can honestly say that I think Luke and Lorelai have one of the best first kiss scenes of any show I've ever watched. Their bickering pre-kiss is just so quintessentially THEM. It's perfectly in-character, so believable and funny. Like, I love that Luke gets so fed up, so overwhelmed with feeling because whoa! she reciprocates!, that he can't help but bark "will you just stand still" before wrapping her in his arms and planting one on her, FINALLY, after years of pining. It's like all the unresolved tension they've accumulated over the years reaches a boiling point that busts the lid clean off in that moment. I love it so much!

5x03 Written in the Stars. Their first official date. He's "all in" and I will never get over the fact that he kept that horoscope in his wallet for 8 years. Proof he is sentimental at heart!

5x12 Wedding Bell Blues. They were so precious and in love this episode, despite Hurricane Christopher blowing in to ruin everything.

7x13 I'd Rather be in Philadelphia. Lorelai's married to Christopher, which is extremely painful for my L&L-loving heart, but the way Luke shows up for her after Richard has his heart attack despite everything they've been through as a couple speaks volumes. It's EVERYTHING. There's nothing he wouldn't do to make her happy, to bring her comfort. Nothing. It doesn't matter if they're together or not together. He's always there for her. Always, always there. It's unconditional. I like to think that's the moment she realizes she'll always love him, that she's still in love with him. (She should've BYE FELICIA'D Christopher right then and there.)

[singingcookie]

👀👀 SO. THAT LATEST CHAPTER OF DOJ 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

👀👀👀👀 Yes. It certainly was a thing wasn’t it?  👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 In all seriousness this chapter was really difficult for me to bring myself to work on. And it was mostly because (compared to most of my other chapters) this one was really lacking detail. I had a few moments that stood out but figuring out how to smush them together in a cohesive way was hard. With that said, I’m gonna do something I haven’t done much til now. I’m gonna share my original outline for this chapter under the read more.

I might throw in comments between sections/thoughts. I normally post my outline at the bottom of my chapter documents and gradually get rid of bullet points as I get through them. This’ll be the first time I’ve looked at the outline since I completed, so I apologize for the length this might take on lol. That said....

DOJ CHAPTER 20 SPOILERS READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Deku’s pov this chapter.

Skip ahead to them at the thing. They’re in Tarasanudo in Kanagawa. Somewhere close to the Tokyo Bay. Last train will leave a bit after 9pm.

I like to preface my outlines with a pov if there’s a change from the previous chapter. Any ones that are continuations (so with chapters 9 & 10 for Deku, and chapters 11-15 for Ochako) don’t really get labelled like this but since it was Ochako for 19 I had to. I knew right away this had to be Izuku that we were hearing from because his thoughts--his perception of Uraraka in the story thus far--have been pretty close to nonexistent. I figured it was about time (especially put into this position) for us to glean an idea of what exactly is going on under that curly hair of his.

The second bullet point is just a point of reference for me so I don’t forget anything 😅 I’ll probably carry it on through my next few chapters too. Again, just so I don’t forget as I go since the setting will be relevant until the festival ends.

We get festival shenanigans maybe just them looking around at things at first. He keeps getting wrapped up in Uraraka. Lingering on whatever she does. Her excitement at the foods, the decorations. The way she sways to the music from each and every stall. Obviously this should be at least a few paragraphs. If not a page.

HAHAHAHA, oh man. So much for that. Deku really went damn wild at the start of this chapter. The whole introduction (before Ochako says the FIRST LINE OF DIALOGUE FOR THE CHAPTER WTF) was 2 pages long on my chapter document. And I remember being shook about it. “This much Deku??? You have this much to say?” It probably would have been less if he didn’t want to retell the whole dang story with the netsuke BUT HE DID WHAT HE DOES I GUESS!!

I also added the okonomiyaki scene pretty sporadically, I didn’t have it in my oultine at all. But I needed an introductory scene into them at the festival before Bakugou and Kirishima showed up. I think it turned out pretty well? I got a lot of questions about my research on that one cause it was so specific! 😅 Truth is I just look up those kinda details as I get to them mid-writing. Makes it take longer but the learning part is really interesting and fun for me!

And then there’s also the hints of them being followed by at least  two of their classmates, working up Uraraka and stemming Deku’s fear. Also added because I needed to segue naturally between the okonomiyaki and cork gun scenes.

Uraraka points to a cork gun stall nearby and says that she wants to play. They don’t fully approach the stand though, Uraraka standing back to look over the prizes to see what she wants to play for. He wonders why she doesn’t just play and figure it out later. She says that she’ll play better if she has something in mind already “don’t question my methods” she hums for a moment and he kinda playfully regards her. Maybe a mild stirring of something.

She surges forward, reaching for one of the cork guns while she holds the yen out for the vendor. “Hey, take the next one over.” Oh god Kacchan’s grabbed the same cork gun and now him and Uraraka are glaring at each other. Kirishima apologizes for the interruption, telling Kacchan that he can just take the next one over. He greets Deku who replies while still watching as Uraraka and Kacchan glare even while he complies to their classmate’s request. Both of them slam their money on the counter. Aaaaand they’re making it a competition. Great.

Thiiiiiiis turned out more of less the same, clearly. 😂 I had a different concept in my head originally of how these games worked there. Ended up digging hard for videos and photos to find out properly. Ended up altering my image to match but it still managed to work out on that front, regardless.

I knew I wanted Kirishima and Bakugou here with them (not only because I love the ship) but it gave them a chance to unwind and relax. Kind of ease off on the tension of them being stuck alone together. Not to mention that I felt it would be really good for cementing the idea of a “something more” kind of pondering in Deku.

Kirishima and Deku talk about what they’ve been up to since getting to the festival. Maybe Deku wonders about the snack that Kirishima has. It looks delicious. Some kinda meat thing. “Where’s the stall?” Kirishima tries to explain but Deku just looks lost. “How ‘bout me and--Bakugou just show you where once they’re finished?”

“That sounds--” Deku’s cut off by a whoop and when he looks back to the stand, they’re both setting the cork guns back down. Uraraka’s reveling in her victory and Kacchan tells her she only got one more point, so she shouldn’t be so excited. She says he’d be just as excited if the scores were reversed. The vendor has to remind them they have prizes to pick.

Kirishima and Deku kind of just ^^; about it. They get whatever the prizes are. Ochako maybe picked something with the idea of giving it to Inko. Kirishima says to Bakugou that he told Deku they’d show him to the stand with the meat skewers.

This got altered a LOT WOW. I think the reason this section changed so much was because I was trying to find a way to make the chapter flow. I left a lot of details out and mostly went big picture because I knew this part of the festival would involve a lot of tiny things that would be a pain to plan out. Lots of minor minutiae that I knew I’d get annoyed if I had to change a lot.

I knew I had to keep Kirishima with MEAT because he’s Kiri (hello it’s listed as one of his fav things even!) and I knew I wanted to have him almost tripped up and saying “Katsuki” just to hammer home where exactly they’re at rn in their interactions.

I extended their interactions together because saying “hey let’s walk around” only to separate them with narry another conversation felt pointless and stilted. That’s why I added the extended convo about the game (I didn’t have it in the outline that she cheated but when I thought about the game and her quirk, it was too fitting to not include!) and also the thing about their internships and things being “too calm” again. Was really trying to hammer home one last “YOU SHOULDN’T FEEL COMFORTABLE” for all you readers lol

They might get stuck together for a bit maybe up through the fireworks. They only realize after the fireworks are through. Uraraka wonders about if maybe there’s something that Deku wants to do now, especially since Bakugou and Kirishima p much vanished.

Deku says something offhandedly. He hadn’t really been pulled toward anything in particular. Maybe they could just walk around, see if they find some of the others. Maybe some kinda casual conversation. Ochako has them stop because she sees a yo-yo fishing game and she really wants a water yo-yo.

As you can see, the fireworks scene (which apparently everyone adores?) was very much not planned LOL. Nor was Bakugou clearly and purposefully ditching them. I don’t really have much in the way of explanations other than it’s what felt right. I considered including a time skip or two during this chapter...but then I realized how silly that would be over such a short time period. So I ended up including the ditching (including Bakugou literally yelled that “Nope!” and it was like “oh okay that’s what we’re doing cool thanks for the memo?”) and then the fireworks was a clear “time is passing while he’s wistful” kind of moment. I think it went over well and segued pretty naturally into this.

Deku just watches, musing to himself over how nice this has been...how nice she looks...she said something about wanting to give the stuffed animal in his grasp to his mom. As a thank you for the yukata. He still can’t believe that Inko never said anything to him about it. But honestly...what would he have said. What would he have done? He’s seen her in it for a while now and he still hasn’t commented about it to her…yeah, okay, he did try twice. Once at school and once with Eri but since then he hasn’t bothered to try again.

Maybe it’s pointless. Maybe the fact that he did try twice was the universe saying that it was dumb and he definitely shouldn’t. That he would make her uncomfortable so don’t bother.

Or maybe it wasn’t about her. Maybe it was the universe scolding him from trying to say it around other people… Embarrassing her around her friends and their former teacher...yeah. Yeah, no. It was definitely that. He needed to say something. She deserved to hear it. He couldn’t tell her about her kimono during that New Years celebration. Shouldn’t he tell her now? Respect both her and his mother’s efforts? Yes. He should definitely say something now.

As you can see....pretty much nothing here changed LOL. I knew this was exactly right but some stuff got clarified and extended, I feel. Made it feel a lot more stream of conscious like as a result of that.

Side note Deku has a big tendency to repeat himself mentally when I write him....idk why this happens but it does lmao.

Uraraka comes back over with her water yo-yo. She says something idk what. But Deku starts to try to say something about her thing. Bringing it up very slowly and awkwardly but before he can explain properly she interrupts him. “Deku-kun, do you hear that?” He goes quiet as he listens. Then……screaming. 

Then they hear someone exclaim that it looks like the bonfire is out of control. They look and...that’s not a normal bonfire. Those are blue flames.

LOL “She says something idk what” is such a staple of my outlines I cry. 😂 That and “Idk something else needs to go here figure it out later”

Anyway though another case of extension here. I knew I was gonna have to with “bringing it up slowly and very awkwardly” that’s vague and I had to show that happening so it was bound to be. I actually struggled on whether or not to let him say it. But ultimately it felt dissatisfying to let him say it and not give Uraraka or the readers the chance to dwell on it. It needs a moment to itself. It needs to be a heavy, impactful moment--but the problem is the League reveal was heavier so it would have knocked it away just as much as him not saying it at all.

Obviously my reveal (the last bullet point) changed a lot with how I conveyed it...also Uraraka’s line. But when I was writing it I realized that Uraraka would be more horrified than my outline which, as you can see, is really calm in comparison. But I knew the only way to reveal it all was Dabi blue flames. A staple of the League... But having Deku’s last line was a better ending line.

ANYWAY, sorry that took so long but. There you have it. Deeper thoughts and perspective from the planning of the chapter. I hope this was interesting seeing the difference between my outline, but I apologize if my commentary was at all boring lol

Thanks Kat!! Always happy to talk!!! 💖💖💖💖

[chokefriends]

Pit-town Strays, Ch.5

Kidlaw softness and redneck shenanigans in a northern mining town. Everything’s fucked but whatever.

Rated T, no warnings. Ch 5: Law explores his escape routes but knows he isn’t going anywhere.

Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - [Ch. 5]

Read on Ao3 too, I’m Ossicle

Law was still staring at the same channel when Bellamy and Dellinger returned an hour later. Law heard them rumble up, and muted the sound to signal the all-clear.

“Fish tacos for Bellamy, gross curry for Law,” Dellinger unpacked their takeout onto the coffee table and dug into his own.

“Thanks,” Law muttered, but didn't get up from the armchair.

“Uh,” Bellamy pointed furtively to Law's arm. The wrist was purpling.

“Shit…” Law pulled his sleeve down over it and hooked his thumb through a hole in the hem. “Whatever. Whacked it on a thing.”

Bellamy stayed standing for a minute, scuffing a toe into the carpet. “Dad’s been worried a lot, is all,” he tried eventually.

“Yeah I know,” Law answered in the same tone.

“Y’know, cuz of this one,” Bellamy jabbed his thumb at the smallest of the three and shook his head.

“...”

The blunt face creased irritably at Law's silence, and Bellamy gave up. He sat down with a grunt to tear into his own takeout box.

“Dellinger,” he grouched at the only other target in the room, “Stop tryna reconstruct the squid, just eat it. God, can you not be such a psychopath? You're making everyone upset—”

“Bellamy.” Law cut him off with a warning look. “He's right here, don't say that.”

Dellinger seemed unperturbed, but very little ever seemed to bother him. “Actually, ‘psychopath’ is not even a thing anymore? And I don't fit the criteria according to this online test I took.”

“Psycho,” Bellamy accused.

“Not!”

Law rose with a sigh and went to sit between them on the couch. “What’d you get, Del.”

“Tentacles,” Dellinger showed him his seafood, with all the squid pieces collected in a little squidlike arrangement.

“Huh. Looks better than the frog leg thing, I guess.”

“That was just an experiment. I wasn't gonna eat it,” Dellinger rolled his eyes. “I saw online that the legs move by themselves if you put em in a saltwater solution. I just wanted to try.”

“That's pretty cool,” Law reassured him.

Bellamy scoffed. “That he's killing off all the pondlife around here? Yeah it's great.”

“I’m not even killing em, just snipping off their extra legs! Most of the frogs here have like three legs and four eyes anyway. Or more, closer you get to the Pit. It's the runoff.”

“Huh… Wonder if it'll start morphing humans too,” Law mused.

“Prolly just gives humans cancer.” Dellinger gave it some thought. “You think human legs could move by themselves?”

“Only one way to find out,” Law joked.

Bellamy gave a sudden snort of disgust, picked up his dinner, and disappeared off to his room. The door thunked shut and Nickelback started blaring through it.

Law ignored all this, but Dellinger looked at the closed door in confusion, then went back to stirring his food and fidgeting. They ate in silence for a while.

“I don't wanna make people upset,” the skinny kid spoke up eventually.

Law nodded, still chewing, but didn't respond right away.

Dellinger speared a tentacle and frowned at it. “I don't think it hurts them for real. And it's not like Dad or anyone even cares about frogs. Bellamy thinks it's funny to run them over…”

“I think they're worried about how it'll look to other people,” Law explained.

“Other people are stupid.”

“Yeah,” Law agreed. “Anyway, just stick to animals with extraneous appendages. And don't take any more experiments to school.”

“It’s not like I'm gonna take the legs off people's pets or whatever. Geez. It's just frogs…” Dellinger sighed and got up to go to bed as well. His room was way upstairs on the second floor, where Bellamy and Law used to sleep when they were younger.

“Take your plate,” Law reminded him automatically.

“Why does everybody always tell me what do do… I hate it.” He started to go upstairs.

“Dellinger, take your fucking plate.”

“You take it.”

“You wanna get in trouble with Dad?” Law warned him, “You're not a baby anymore, just clean up your shit.”

“You're supposed to do all that.” Dellinger shot back, hanging off the bannister and pouting.

“I'm supposed to fucking what now?”

“Well, I'm not the one who gets in trouble when stuff's not clean. You're here to take care of us, or you have to go back to the reservation, right?”

Law's eyebrows flew up in disbelief, and then creased in anger. “I'm not fucking ‘on loan’ from wherever; I'm your fucking brother!”

Bellamy shouted from behind his closed door, “Dellinger! Take your plate upstairs or I swear to god your psycho ass is getting shipped to foster care!!”

Dellinger stomped his way upstairs instead, leaving his dinner behind.

Law snorted and sat back with arms crossed. He was going to storm off to his own room too, but he kept looking back at the leftover tentacles sticking up obscenely from the styrofoam container. He made a noise of muffled rage and threw the entire thing in the trash. There. Jesus... Now at least he wouldn't get any bruises that he hadn't fucking earned himself.

His phone buzzed.

Kidd: Where the fuk r the bandaids, u let nami use em all?

Law stared at the screen for a moment, head starting to pound, then fired back:

You: I don't fyckig know where the band-aids are im not your fucking housekeeper and I don't got any control over your shitass kid for CHRIDT SAKE

The phone buzzed again but Law flicked the notification away.

He brought up Baby's number instead and escaped outside into the darkness and silence. She didn't pick up at first and he had to call back a few times, as usual. By the time she picked up, he'd gotten himself hidden away in the passenger side of the Volvo with the seat leaned all the way back.

Baby sounded cogent but irritable. “Geez, you got Buff thinking I got another man,” she complained.

“‘Buff’ is a stupid name.” Law massaged the bridge of his nose.

“Not as stupid as ‘Buffalo,’” she sighed.

“Jesus, his parents actually named him that?”

“Yeah, they hippies.”

Law snorted. “Native hippies?”

“It's a thing.”

Law licked his lips and tried to think of what to say next, but his throat felt tight.

Baby prompted him, “Well, what up, big brother. You want a ride somewhere?”

“That's not the only reason I ever call you.”

“Haha… little bit.”

Law swallowed a surge of guilt. “Sorry. I’ve been kinda stretched thin these days—”

“Yeah I know. Big man, you. Important stuff to do.”

“I wanna see you more, though. You ever think about that thing we were talking about before? Getting mom and dad's old place back? Where we all lived before they got sick…”

Baby took a moment to answer. “Heh… I see it sometimes, when I'm driving around here.”

Law smiled. “Yeah? So how's rez life treating ya.”

“It's chill. I dunno, small. It's weird sometimes, even jus trying to like, hang with people. You know? They think I'm after something, I guess…”

“Probably just takes time.” Law reassured her. “Probably once we're both living there again and people get used to us—”

She interrupted, “Law, you don't actually think you'll end up here, right?”

“Why not?”

Baby always did that little huff thing when she had something to say. She did it twice and then put on her stern voice. “Like, what would you even do on the rez. There's no sushi, no fancy little coffee shops, and the first time you get too smart you'll get your perfect teeth all knocked down.”

“‘Knocked out,’” he corrected under his breath. “And what, you think I can't handle myself?”

“You don't wanna be here, is what I'm saying. You're too used to that whole life.”

“What whole life.”

“You know what I mean,” Baby sniffed. “Suburbia. Sunday brunch. Sunscreen…”

“That stuff’s not…! I’m not… You think I wanted to get adopted white??” Law challenged.

“Least you got adopted.”

Law had had enough. “Well, it's been a super load off my chest talking to ya, baby sister.”

“Don't get sarcastic with me,” she snapped.

“Give Buffy my bestest,” he continued.

“It’s ‘Buffalo.’”

He scoffed. “Sure. Also, he's our first cousin on mom's side.”

“He's wh—?!!”

Law hung up with a petty little burst of triumph. The feeling didn't last long, though.

“Shit…”  

He sat there kicking at the glove box and letting his anger ebb away into shame. There was a black marker in the center console, and he took up his little dot-decorations again, this time on the sleeve of his hoodie. He circled and filled in wandering patches until his foggy head had cleared and he could look at his phone again.

I do wanna see you more, he texted to Baby, who didn't reply.

Law sighed and moved on to the results of the outburst just before that one. He clicked back into the convo with Kidd, expecting harsh words.

That bad eh, Kidd had replied simply to Law's rant.

Law snorted. He tapped the phone icon and waited.

“G’day,” came the wry answer.

“The fuck you need band-aids for now?” Law questioned him.

Kidd put on a tragic tone. “I got a boo-boo, man. I need that animal sticker magic.”

“Oh? What'd you do.”

“Punched a goose.”

Law laughed out loud, unexpectedly. “You fucking did not,” he put his feet up on the dash and tried not to sound like he was smiling.

“Yeah… well, it was beating up on this one poor dog chained up in a yard. Only dog on a leash in the whole place, seriously.”

“Your yard has a dog post in it too, right? Where'd that one go?” Law remembered the lonely post with the deep path tread around it.

“Oh… yeah, dad took her with him when he left last year—this German shepherd he got us as a present because he was always gone. She was supposed to keep us out of trouble, I guess, but she kept taking off and like, trying to herd coyotes or whatever, haha… He eventually chained her up in the yard and she just wore that circle into the ground every day.”

“That's so shitty,” Law shook his head.

“Yeah. I hope he took her somewhere she can run… anyway, whatever.” Kidd coughed, seeming to not wanna talk about it further.

“Yeah. Uh… So you defeated the goose, eh.”

“Hah! Not even—I had to get back on the bike and run for it! At least I drew it away from the dog.”

Law let himself laugh. “Yeah, aw, you saved it!”

Kidd laughed too. “I should've just let it off the leash. It probably would've fucked that goose up itself.”

“Well, I'll bring you animal band-aids next time I come.”

“Thanks. Uh.” Kidd paused. “So you're gonna come back?”

Law's lightened mood abruptly darkened again. He examined the purple patterns trailing from sleeve to skin—vivid and unbearably obvious. “Yeah, uh. Maybe not tomorrow, though...”

“No?”

“I got school stuff.”

“Oh, yeah. Day after?”

“Maybe the day after that…” Law evaded. He tried coloring in the dark blotches with marker, casting around for a topic to get away from this one. But Kidd seemed to read his silence anyway.

“Hey uh. You know you can just stay here? Whenever? However long,” Kidd offered.

“Uh.”

“And I don't mean as like, a live-in nanny thing either. You don't have to do anything. I don't think of you as a housekeeper.”

Law wanted to cringe away under the seat. “Nono, I don't actually think you think that! I was just lashing out about other stuff.”

“All the cleaning is kinda weird, tee-bee-aych.”

“I know. It's compulsive.”

“But you could just… stay,” Kidd emphasized again, like all this was simple.

Law stared off into the darkness beyond the windshield. He could imagine what it'd be like, sleeping with his head on a strong shoulder, breathing warmth, in a tiny house like a shoebox-nest full of other scuffed-up odds and ends. It sounded worlds better than fucking sunday brunch and sportscars…

“I don't think I can right now.”

“No, eh.”

“Anyway, I gotta get to sleep,” Law mumbled apologetically. “School tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Kidd switched back to whatever-mode.

“I'll text you, eh? When I'm thinking of coming over.”

“Yeah, sounds good, you got my number.”

“Yeah.”

Law hung up and sat there, chewing his lip and breathing the stuffy air of the Volvo. He could just drive to Kidd's right now. Just go. But then what, wear gloves? Invent some goose story of his own? No… he couldn't leave like this, at least not yet.

But he couldn't make himself go out of the car and back to the house either.

He let his mind wander through its worries and his hands perform their restless tasks, until his phone died and the marker ran out. Then he curled up in the passenger seat to sleep.

[ghost-town-story]

(When I wrote the what-if James and Myles convo, this yelled at me until I started writing it. It’s sat around half-finished for a while, but here, finally, is the actual reunion between Myles and his brother.)

Myles was getting ready to leave when he overheard a whisper.

“--and it’s not surprising, considering how busy Allison must be now that James is back.” 

Myles froze, then whirled around to face the speaker. “James?” he demanded. “James Lunacen?”

The woman was startled. “Yeah, the Nova kid who went missing. Wait a minute.” Her eyes narrowed. “You’re his brother. You didn’t know?” 

Myles swallowed back the scathing retort. “Apparently my mother didn’t see fit to let me know,” he said icily, turning his back on the woman. His mind was racing. How had they found him? And how had Myles not heard anything before now? The only new Nova recently was that rebel they had captured--

Myles’s breath caught. Talk of the captive had died out just as quickly as it had popped up. Suspiciously fast, but Myles usually didn’t pay attention to gossip. Unless...

Unless the captive had been James. 

Myles quietly swore, practically racing to his motorcycle. 

The entire drive back to his parents’ house was spent running through questions. Was it really James? Why had nobody told him? Was James alright? How had he survived four years of being a Nova? Would he still be the same, or had the world twisted and broken him like it had done to Myles?

He ended up pulling into the driveway just moments after his mother, startling her as she was getting out of her car. 

“Myles!” she gasped. “What are you doing here?” 

“Where’s James?” Myles demanded, taking off his helmet. 

His mother’s hesitation was enough to at least confirm the rumors that James was alive. “How did you find out?” she finally said. 

“Because I heard someone talking about it,” Myles snapped. “Why didn’t you tell me? You knew Will and I were still looking for him. Does Will know?” 

“Will is the reason we found him.” 

“So why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Because I thought it would be kinder,” his mother finally snapped. “He doesn’t have much time left Myles, so I didn’t want you to have to deal with his death a second time.” 

“What? Why? How did that happen?”

His mother shook her head. “I don’t know. He hasn’t told us much.” 

“Where is he?” 

His mother looked at him for a long moment, but Myles refused to back down. 

Finally, she replied. “Somewhere in the house. If I had to guess, probably the backyard.”

Myles nodded, silently following his mother as she unlocked the door. He slipped past once they were inside, heading for the backyard. 

The moment he stepped out the back door, he felt like the breath had been driven from his lungs. Two figures were lounging on the old playset in the backyard, and they both looked around at the sound of the door. Will, leaning against one of the supports, raised a hand in greeting. The other, drifting lazily on a swing, was so familiar to Myles and yet so strange all at once. 

The first thing Myles noticed was how young he looked. At some point, he’d finally gotten his scars removed, and the result was jarring enough to Myles that he looked even younger than Will. But he hadn’t removed all of them. Myles could see a new scar on his neck that disappeared into his collar, and barely peeking out of his sleeve were the familiar bandages wound around his left arm that Myles knew hid the brand on his forearm. 

There were two other things that Myles noticed that didn’t quite match up with how he remembered James. One was the cigarette dangling between his fingers that he didn’t even try to hide from Myles. The other was his eyes. Myles knew they wouldn’t be the same, that James would have the distinctive silver rings that clearly marked a Nova, but he hadn’t expected James’s eyes to be nearly completely silver. Myles could only barely make out a hint of green in his left eye, while the grey of his right was indistinguishable from the silver. 

“What the hell happened?” Myles breathed before he could stop himself. 

James frowned, glancing uncertainly at Will. “Is this my brain being dumb or do we not know him?” he asked. 

Will let out a soft huff of laughter and addressed Myles instead of answering. “Hey Myles. Took you long enough to show up.” 

“You never told me,” Myles retorted. “For fuck’s sake Will, after four years of looking for him, the least you could have done was texted me.” 

“And I would’ve, but Mom told me she wanted to tell you herself. Something tells me she lied though.” 

James scoffed at that, and Will kicked him in the ankle without even looking. 

“And you didn’t think to ask why I wasn’t coming over?” 

“Hey, sorry to interrupt,” James said, not sounding sorry at all, “but mind telling me what the fuck is going on?” 

“Not clicking?” Will asked him. 

“Not at fucking all,” James replied.

Will shrugged. “That’s Myles. Our older brother.”

“Huh.” James’s silver eyes swung back to Myles, and Myles got the distinct feeling his little brother was sizing him up. “You’re a Nova too.” 

“Keep your voice down,” Myles hissed, crossing the yard so his brothers could still hear him. “Donna and Al don’t know shit and that’s the way we have to keep it to keep them safe.” 

“Donna and Al?” James frowned. 

“His nicknames for Bella and Lex,” Will explained. “And if they find out about Novas...” 

James let out a heavy sigh. “She’d do the same shit to them as she did to you,” he muttered, raising his cigarette to his lips and taking a drag. 

Myles frowned. The most important question was still unanswered. He grabbed the chain of James’s swing to steady himself as he prepared to crouch. “What happened to you James?” 

Whatever response Myles had expected, he didn’t get it. Instead, halfway through his movement, he was startled by something hitting his side, winding him and sending him crashing to the ground. Myles struggled upright again, gasping as he tried to catch his breath. 

James had gotten off the swing, and was now standing a ways away, poised as if ready to fight or run. Even from this distance, Myles could see the wild look in his eyes. 

“What the hell?” Myles managed to gasp out. 

Will hesitated, glancing between the two, torn about whether to check on Myles or calm down James. 

James took the choice out of his hands though. “Don’t fucking touch me,” he spat. 

“I wasn’t going to do anything,” Myles protested. 

James let out a humorless bark of laughter. “Yeah right. Like you have a choice.” 

Myles sighed, sitting back on his heels and looking at Will. “Can you please talk some sense into him?” he asked. 

Will gave a short nod, turning to James. James took a few steps back. “Don’t you fucking dare tell me I’m being hysterical,” he hissed. 

“I’m not going to,” Will replied in a low voice. “But Jay, he’s our brother.” 

“Like that means shit,” James snorted. “Considering how warmly Belladonna greeted me when she first saw me, don’t try to fucking tell me we were actually a close, happy family behind closed doors.” 

Will sighed, running his hands through his hair. “Bella’s the odd one out Jay, trust me. But out of everybody here, he’s the most likely to be on our side.” 

James’s eyes flicked to Myles as Will spoke. Myles could see the disbelief in his little brother’s expression even from here. 

“He’s not chipped,” Will continued, noticing the motion. 

At that, James’s gaze snapped back to Will. “Bullshit,” he spat. “Why would they let a Nova go unchipped?” 

“They let you go,” Will pointed out.

But James was shaking his head before Will even finished the sentence. “Because I have no use as a soldier,” he said. “One spark of magic, and I’m gone, along with anybody in a ten-block radius. No use in wasting resources on somebody who can’t even fight.” 

“And no use wasting them on somebody who should be compliant without one,” Myles spoke up as he slowly regained his feet. “Don’t forget James, our mother works for them.” 

James whirled around to face him. “Out of all the things I still don’t remember, I wish that was one of them,” he spat. He clutched at his left arm, almost out of instinct, and winced at the movement. 

Myles frowned, filing that away to question later, when James wasn’t quite so on edge. “Because of her position, we get special treatment.” He couldn’t help the sardonic edge to his voice. “Such as marking you before you even activated, and remaining unchipped as long as we comply.” 

James blinked. “Activating... going nova?” He glanced at Will, and Will nodded. 

“Oh.” James let out a long breath, almost unconsciously cradling his left arm close. “So... he’s unchipped because of--because of Allison?” Myles noted with a savage sort of pride that James no longer called their mother “Mom”. 

“Yes,” Will replied. 

“And you think I should trust him?” 

Will shrugged easily. “Ultimately, it’s your choice. I think you can trust him.” 

James stared at Will for a long moment, then sighed heavily. 

Myles watched warily as James closed the distance between them, coming to a stop a few feet away. When James didn’t look up from the ground, Myles realized he was just crushing the remains of the cigarette he’d dropped earlier.

Once he was sure it was out, James turned away, pulled a carton from his pocket, and deftly lit another cigarette. He took a drag, then finally spoke. “As you can guess, I don’t remember shit.” He glanced over his shoulder at Myles. “You want my trust, you have to earn it back.” 

“I want to know what happened to you James.” 

James snorted, turning away again. “And I don’t trust you.” 

And that was the final straw for Myles to realize that this wasn’t the same nearly-sixteen-year-old that had looked at him with sad eyes, facing an unknown future with a smile that didn’t fool either of them. Instead, this twenty-year-old was hiding behind sarcasm and cigarette smoke, refusing to let anybody but Will near.

Something clicked in Myles’s head. “That’s what you meant,” he breathed.

James stiffened at his words, but it was Will who voiced the question. “What?”

Myles kept his eyes fixed on James as he spoke. “The day you activated,” he said, hoping that his words might trigger James’s memory of their conversation. “I walked you to school. We talked about Novas, as much as I could since you were pre-activation. And just before I left you, you said--” 

“I will see all of you again. But I won’t be the same.” James’s voice had changed in four years, but the cadence of the phrase was identical to the conversation in Myles’s memory. It was uncanny enough to send a shiver down Myles’s spine.

There was a pause, then James let out a huff of laughter, taking another drag of his cigarette. “You have no fucking idea how true that turned out to be.”