#my mom simps for

[saigalblues]

it's actually such a shame that the desi tumblr users don't write fanfics because i know at least three people who would like to get railed by siddharth abhimanyu

[dootznbootz]

Menelaus rambles a lot about not only Helen, but also Hermione. About how she used to say Olive like "Olifs". How she lost her first tooth running too fast and running into a low branch while out with Helen. How he'd sometimes wake up to Hermione leaning over him and poking his face to say, "Dad, can we go see the horses?" even though it was barely daylight. How she was much nicer waking Helen and how he thinks Hermione did that on purpose because she found "dad's face funny". How her favorite color was every color.

And Odysseus listens.

And he thinks about how his son only had a few teeth coming in when he left, teething on everything. How he could only say one syllable with his babbles. How his son needed balance to stand but Odysseus was so proud that Telemachus was very good at rolling over. How his son loved pulling at his and Penelope's hair.

How his son would be talking, walking, maybe even lost his first tooth by now. And he doesn't even know if he'll ever know his son's favorite color.

[wastingawayinmyroom]

@jegulus-microfic prompt: improve word count: 641 words

warning: moments during and after a nightmare (walburga’s a+ parenting)

inspired by a rosekiller microfic i saw recently. can’t remember the author, but they’re amazing.

…

He’d been doing so well. So, so well.

The nightmares were going away, slowly. No flashbacks, no seeing something and suddenly being trapped in that house all over again, his mother’s suffocating love and his brother’s screams, no, no, no. Gone. All gone. Well, almost.

He’d been improving. That was the main thing. James always said, that no matter how small it was, a little improvement was always an improvement.

Improve, improve, improve. And here he is now. Eight years old again. In that cursed house. Screams and anger are blending together. His cheeks are wet. Why is he crying? Heirs to the house of Black do not cry. He’s not an heir. He’s not cut out to be an heir.

She’s saying something. She says she loves him, she really does. She wants the best for him.

Is this the best? He wants to ask her that, but he does not say anything. He sits. He listens to screams. Sirius’ screams, maybe his own. He does not know. He is scared. He wants his brother.

She does not like his brother. His brother did something. Something bad. He can feel his brain slowly shutting down, his mind filling with thoughts and emptying simultaneously, and he hates it. He feels like he’s going crazy. Maybe he is.

He wants to scream. He does, he thinks. Very loudly. And she’s angry again, and he’s scared, and he just wants someone to hold, and he thinks—

He gasps.

It’s night. He’s in bed. There’s someone next to him, he can see them sleeping, snoring soundly. The sheets move up with every breath they take.

The next thing he registers is brown hair, and the first thing he thinks is, Oh, James.

But he can’t relax.

He gets up, stumbles to the bathroom. He can’t breathe. He feels trapped, like he’s back at the old house. So he turns on the tap, sets it to the coldest temperature, and runs it through his hands, splashes it on his face. He’s still trapped, still eight, but a little bit safer now. A bit better.

Hands wrap around his waist. A face pressed into his curls. They stay there until he can think again. Until the only reason his hands are shaking is the cold water. He shuts the tap off. Allows James to take him back to bed when he asks. Snuggles in the warmth and brings his knees up to his chest.

James does the same, pressing their noses together, legs knocking, and Regulus drinks in the warmth, the comfort that this man brings him. “Cuddles?” He asks, voice still rough from sleep. Regulus feels guilty for waking him up, but god, the sound of his voice is enough to convince him otherwise.

He nods slightly, still reeling from the nightmare. He takes James’ arm, rolls over, and brings his arm along with him, and James understands. He presses himself onto Regulus, and that’s enough to let him breathe again, nice and slow.

“I was doing so well,” he whispers. James cups his face, staring into his eyes like they’re the whole Milky Way. “I ruined it.”

James shakes his head. “No,” he says, “Improvement is an abstract thing. It happens in weird ways. Ma told me, once, that improvement is also experiencing the thing again, too.” He shifts, slightly, to get a better view of Regulus’ face. “It’s seeing how much you’ve changed in the way you deal with it.”

Regulus closes his eyes. “Je ne te mérite pas,” he says. I don’t deserve you.

“Hm?”

“I love you,” he says.

James smiles, and he wants to put that smile in a bottle and get drunk on it every night. “Me too, Jaan.” Me too, my soul.

He drifts into sleep like that, with his boyfriend.

Improvement, he thinks, is an abstract thing.

[ricksanchezbignaturals]

yk for a guy that's only present in like 9 episodes (or 11 ig he's technically in time traveler's pig and dreamscaperers) ford sure does get... restrained a number of times

[hatake]

love how after winning sanji goes back to his gfs and zoro also goes back to his gf

[siriuslysatorusimping]

What is Kurisaki Rinko to you?

I DID IT. I WROTE IT. I FOUND SOME INSPIRATION FAIRIES AND KNOCKED THIS OUT. THANK YOU TO THE ANON WHO ASKED THIS QUESTION.

Pre-Shibuya

Gojo Satoru

He raised his eyebrows at the question.

“Huh?” he asked, grasping his chin lightly. “Kurisaki-chan? Strong sorcerer. Lives up to the Special Grade 1 rank easily. Great person. Probably the best person I know, actually. She looks out for the people she cares about, especially her students. Best teacher Kyoto ever had.” He smirked slightly. “One of the only people to catch me by surprise, land a hit. A menace, really. A good friend. One- my best friend. She’s my best friend.”

Nanami Kento

A deep sigh escaped his lips, his brow furrowed in clear irritation.

“Annoying,” he replied, his monotone voice almost sounding amused. “But I trust her. She’s stronger than she thinks she is, and I would trust her with my life. She’s also one of the only jujutsu sorcerers I respect, even though she’s probably crazier than most. She’s also an incredible teacher. Her students have always loved her. I got to see that first-hand.” He cleared his throat, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “And a dear friend. She’s a very dear friend.”

Fushiguro Megumi

He scowled at the question, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

“A lot of people think you could pass for being her kid since you look similar-”

“She’s not my mom,” he snapped, his scowl deepening. “She’s my cousin. She’s taught me a lot—more than Gojo-sensei has. She’s a great teacher.”

Zenin Maki

Her eyes narrowed at the question before she shrugged.

“We’re related,” she stated. “She took me in when I ran away from my shit family. She’s done a lot for me. Helped me in more ways than I can say.” The teen gripped the kendo sword in her hands tightly. “She’s taught me more than anyone else. Not just about being a jujutsu sorcerer, either. She’s a great teacher.”

Zenin Mai

Suspicion filled the girl’s expression for a moment.

“Why do you wanna know?” she asked, crossing her arms defensively. “She’s- we’re distantly related. She taught me when she was at Kyoto Tech. And-” she trailed off, a frown pulling at her lips, “she’s looked out for me. Always tries to make sure to check in on me. She cares. She’s a great- she’s the best teacher I’ve ever had.”

Okkotsu Yuuta

“Rinko-san is amazing!”

They’d barely finished the question before the teenager answered, sounding overly enthusiastic.

“She’s really kind,” he continued excitedly. “She always checks on me to ask me how I’m doing. She’s strong enough to trick Gojo-sensei. She landed a hit on him, which I haven’t really seen anyone else do before. She’s a great teacher, too. I learned a lot from her about cursed energy when she taught us last year.”

Inumaki Toge

He grinned widely, shrugging.

“Tuna mayo,” he stated.

“Is- that good?”

“Salmon,” he replied, his grin widening. “Tuna mayo.”

Itadori Yuuji

He shrugged slightly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“I- don’t know Rinko-san that well,” he admitted. “But Nanamin respects her a lot. Gojo-sensei likes her, too. Fushiguro won’t admit it, but he kinda drifts towards her when she’s around. She’s really nice. One of the nicest people I’ve met besides Gojo-sensei. And she’s a really good teacher. Fushiguro and Zenin-san learned from her, I think.”

Kugisaki Nobara

The girl shrugged absently.

“I don’t really know her that well,” she admitted, tilting her head to the side. “She seems cool. Maki-san likes her a lot. She does spend a lot of time with that blindfolded idiot, though. But she’s a good teacher, from what Maki-san says.”

Todo Aoi

The boy smirked easily, chuckling under his breath.

“A strong sorcerer,” he asserted. “One of the strongest you’ll meet, though she doesn’t see it that way. She- she’ll do anything to protect the people she cares about, especially us. Kurisaki-sensei is an incredible teacher.”

Post-Shibuya

Gojo Satoru

He squinted at them, scowling at the question.

“You mean Gojo Rinko?” he asked, his scowl growing when they just shrugged. “I convinced her to marry me, ya know. I’m her husband-”

“Fine,” they sighed, exasperated. “What is Gojo Rinko to you?”

A smug grin pulled at his lips now.

“My best friend,” he declared proudly. “The strongest woman I’ve ever known. The only person who puts up with me without complaining.” He paused, his grin widening until he looked like a dopey puppy. “The love of my life. She’s the most incredible person I know, and I- wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for her. She’s the most important person in my life.”

Fushiguro Megumi

He cleared his throat uncomfortably, shuffling his feet.

“She’s- my cousin." He rubbed the back of his neck and coughed. “She- she’s always been there for me. One of- one of the most important people in my life. I- I don’t know if I’d be here if it weren’t for her.”

Zenin Maki

She gave a nonchalant shrug, looking bored.

“My cousin,” she replied easily, staring at them calmly. “She’s taught me a lot. Took me in when I needed to get away from the clan. Always-” the teen paused, releasing a quiet sigh, “never- got upset with me when I was angry. And- she really tried to look out for me and my sister. One of the most important people in my life.”

Okkotsu Yuuta

His brow furrowed slightly as he thought.

“Rinko-san is one of the strongest people I know,” he stated firmly, nodding to himself. “She cares a lot about all of us, too. Looks out for us so much, making sure we’re all okay. Even though she knows we can take care of ourselves, she checks on us and makes sure we’re okay. She’s become one of the most important people in my life.”

Inumaki Toge

“Tuna mayo!” he exclaimed, grinning widely.

“That’s- that’s still a good thing, right?”

“Salmon!”

“Can I get some of those flashcards you gave her-?”

Itadori Yuuji

“She’s our new Principal,” he stated, smiling slightly. “She was someone Nanamin had a lot of respect for, and she clearly cared about him, too. She’s really strong, but she pushes herself too much. I think- I think she does it for us. To try to protect us. She and Gojo-sensei are really similar in that way. She cares about us a lot. She- I don’t remember my mom, but she kinda reminds me of a mom. She’s become one of the most important people in my life.”

Kugisaki Nobara

She gave a careless shrug.

“I honestly still don’t know her all that well,” the girl admitted. “But she’s really strong. Special Grade 1’s aren’t really something to mess with. She’s our new Principal, and she’s doing a really good job so far. I don’t think there could have been a better choice for it. She still spends too much time with that blindfolded idiot, though. Can’t believe she decided to marry a guy like him, but they seem happy I guess?”

Ino Takuma

He rubbed the back of his neck.

“I, ah, don’t know Kurisaki-san that well,” he admitted uneasily.

Gojo Satoru’s voice chimed from somewhere in the distance, “It’s Gojo Rinko now-!”

“But Nanami-san had a lot of respect for her, and they were really good friends.” Ino swallowed thickly. “She- asked me to teach here at Tokyo Tech after she became the Principal. She said Nanami-san would approve, that he’d be proud to see me helping the next generation of sorcerers. She’s- a really kind person. I’m grateful she decided to give me this chance.”

-

You can take Toge's responses from my cold, dead hands.

Did you guys like the two different themes? I thought it'd be cool to have the pre-Shibuya version focused on them saying she's a good teacher, and then the post-Shibuya version talking about how she's important in their lives 🥹 Notice how Gojo and Megumi said they wouldn't be here without her 🥺🥺

It's also official, Ino will be the new first-year teacher at Tokyo Tech 😊

[ayyyy-le-simp]

I had this cool image that popped up in my head while cooking dinner the other night

Rex doing pull-ups with a tight shirt on, preferably a blue one.

The way I would admire rex doing pull-ups and push ups in a tight blue shirt in front of me-

[candy-ac3]

@unfunnyaceartist Please send help my mom is sleeping with Jax

[snobgoblin]

playing The Arcana as anyone but Danny (like... myself for instance) kind of takes me out of it because it's like "yeah no six different people would absolutely not be throwing themselves at ONE person who most of them JUST met" but when I look at Danny it's like no i get it i see how people would be throwing themselves at him

[junespriince]

Princely Whelmed au

Dick: But I am leaving soon for *insert Kori's kingdom i haven't named yet*

Wally, pissed: and that's not far enough!

Wally: do you think there is a corner of this earth, that you could travel to, far away enough to free me from this torment?

Wally: I am a gentleman. My mother (iris) raised me to act with honor, but that honor is hanging by a thread that grows more precarious with every moment I spend in your presence.

Wally: you are the bane of my existence, the man of all my desires. I love you.

Dick: Sir West... I-I,*thinking real hard about his father wanting him to marry Kori for kingdom biz, but then again he played dead to get out of royal biz sooooo* I love you too... let's run away, Tim wanted the kingdom anyways!

Wally: finally!

[megumi-fm]

.

[foxgloveinspace]

How do you save pics from instagram?? Do you HAVE to save them to your story?? Instagram is the only social media I share with my family so I can’t save a pic to my story, but everyone’s sharing that pic of Vessel kneeling in front of two (and a few of the others) but NO ONE is including the last pic on that post and it is BREATHTAKING.

[caker-baker]

Valentine

“Ha!” The villain waved a pink piece of paper in front of the hero. “I’ve got a Valentine!”

“Do you now?” The hero asked, tilting their head and crossing their arms. “From whom?”

“A fan of mine, apparently. They appreciate my tech savvy, genius inventions, and fashion choices.” The villain tapped the note aggressively. “Complete with hearts and everything. Came with chocolates, too.”

The hero couldn’t really help the lopsided grin creeping on their face.

“A fan.” They repeated. “Really?”

“Yes! And they actually speak of my talents! What did all your fans send you for Valentine’s Day, hm? Poems about how much they just love your muscles?” The villain gagged. “No, thank you. I’ll take genuine appreciation, please.”

The hero’s smile dropped. “It’s not just the muscle poems, I get a good bit of chocolate, too.”

“I bet.” The villain turned away, examining their Valentine letter. “It’s a shame they didn’t leave their name, I would’ve built them a gadget to show my appreciation. Maybe I can examine their handwriting and match it to the person. It’s not hard to get into official written documents. I could create a program that cross examines spacing and pattern of–”

The hero’s eyes widened. “Don’t!”

The villain whipped around, eyebrows raised.

“Um, maybe don’t do that.” The hero continued, voice lowered. “They’ll probably get put on some watch list, you know, since they’re writing letters of adoration to a villain.”

“That’s good thinking.” They paused, almost thoughtful as they folded the note into some invisible pocket. “So you do have a brain in there. I was beginning to worry that all those muscles were restricting blood flow to your head.”

The hero scoffed. “I don’t think that’s how it works—”

“Sh! It is now. Anyways,” The villain nudged forward a bag on the ground with their foot. “I wasn’t going to do anything with this. You can take it to the bank, or whatever.”

Cautiously, the hero picked up the stolen bag of money.

“You just robbed the bank because…?”

“I wanted to show you my letter.”

The hero chuckled. “That certainly was a method. I still have to take you to jail, you know.”

“Do you though?”

“Yes, Villain. Stealing is still a crime.”

The villain narrowed their eyes, turned, and ran.

And the hero let them, watching until they were out of sight.

They were glad they could convince the villain not to look for their secret Valentine. After all, the hero had many written and signed documents on file. If the villain decided to look, it wouldn’t be long before they could match up the words on the letter to the hero’s handwriting.

Slinging the bag over their shoulder, the hero sighed, wondering if they overdid it with the pink paper and the hearts.

No, the villain seemed to like it.

They’d keep that in mind for next year.

[duh-nik]

CEO Boyfriend after a frustrating day : Some people really should know their place.

Girlfriend who sits on his lap to ask him about it : Well, I know mine. *grins*

[onceuponaladye]

🤣🤣🤣

[sourtomatola]

You know sleuth detective au right? What if stalker was dropped into that would and replacing sleuth y/n role? What would be their interaction with sun and moon? Would stalker immediately join clips side because their hot? Would stalker be a rich from a rich collector from a well known family who basically tries to find their perfect boyfriend and they stumbled upon sun and moon? What are the implications?

Get out of my head I was thinking the same just a couple hours before getting this ask XDDD

You ready? long post here we go

Stalker would be the daughter of a prestigious family. Always loving the robots, they put together free charging stations for them after the revolution. Being a known inventor, they were always trying to make people’s lives easier, usually specifically animatronics’

Once, at one of the fancy parties their parent’s made them go to, there was a shoot out between the police and some gang you’d hardly heard of. Their sloppy work explained why they wouldn’t last long.

But imagine Stalker’s surprise and delight at the sight of the sexiest and bad888 pair of animatronics’ they’ve ever seen.

They immediately started flirting with the boys. Literally immediately.

Stalker would 1,000% just show up at their house in a sexy dress and wait for them.

Would also talk cases with them and try to invent things for them to make their jobs easier. They would also use their status to get in places they shouldn’t be in to get the dirt the boys need to put the criminals away.

They would also try to play the sexy broad who needs saving, but will often just save themselves so the boys have more time to focus on them.

As for Eclipse’s part in this…

Well, lets just say stalker’s mom is still trying to marry her off

Eclipse is very aware of Stalker’s hobbies besides inventing and has every intention to use that against them.

@naffeclipse

Please please go read sleuth jesters, it's so worth it!!

More stalker comics