#my mom keeps saying she has to live for another five years

[everyfandomever]

I made myself sad :(

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

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[thissying]

"A wunderkind," said Niki Lauda when Limburger Max Verstappen (18) won his first Grand Prix in Spain on Sunday. Her wunderkind, thought Sophie Kumpen (41), at home in Maaseik in front of the television. Two hours later the phone rang: "Wow. Mom. Actually unbelievable, huh."

21 May, 2016

Sophie was at home on Sunday when it happened. All alone, on a chair, in front of the television. "I've been in the pit box at enough races to know: I actually prefer to watch in the living room. You can't see it better anywhere else than on television. I have a fixed ritual for it. A candle on the table. Smartphone in hand. And that chair." (points to one of the dining room chairs)

"Of course, if I had known in advance that Max would win his first Grand Prix, I would have gone along. During those last two corners I was sitting in my chair cheering. When Max crossed the finish line, I cried. I didn't even cry at his birth. They were tears of relief, I think. He was finally able to show what I always knew he could do."

What role does genetics play? So far unclear. But this much is certain: if Max drove the competition away on Sunday - and was also a bit lucky with two top drivers dropping out - it was mainly a matter of years of training. "Max has been working towards this for fourteen years. He was four when he started karting. Jos and I practically lived on the circuit at that time. People sometimes think that we pushed Max. That's not true. It came from him. Once that happened, there was no stopping him. And honestly? I understand that. It was the same for me. That kick. That adrenaline. That quickly becomes addictive."

Sophie once lived in the same world as Max does today. She was successful in karting, and Jos had made it in F1. The couple lived in Monaco and bathed in wealth. But the divorce, in 2006, turned that life upside down. Max was eight, his sister Victoria six. It was decided: Max would stay with Jos, Victoria with Sophie. And while Jos focused on his son's career, Sophie looked for a job in Maaseik.

"A very difficult time," says Sophie. "I didn't see Max a lot then. He quickly started to achieve international success and he was abroad a lot with his father. I found that incredibly difficult. But I also knew: if we really wanted to pursue Max's big dream, he would be better off with Jos. I had to flip a switch for that. There were many nights when I lay in bed crying. Out of sadness, for the child I missed so much. I really had to let go of Max. I was often very afraid that I would lose him. Now that he is eighteen, I have the feeling that all that is changing. He visits me more often, shows up unexpectedly at the door more often. 'Mum, let's go shopping in Hasselt.' Max recently had to get his driver's license. He had to drive for a few days with a supervisor. He said: 'I want to do that with you, mum.' I am increasingly getting my place as a mum back. That feels really good."

"The contact with Jos is finally better again, too. Everything has fallen into place: Jos has remarried and I am also doing well. When Max won on Sunday, Jos called me from Barcelona. However, we hardly ever call each other. But at a moment like that you know: this is our child. And then it is nice to be able to share that emotion with each other and to be able to cry together. I am glad we had that phone call. It felt good to be able to do that. For Max as well."

"After the divorce, I started working for the OCMW [social welfare centre]. I believe that things in life happen for a reason. I see a lot of poverty. I see the underclass of society. I think it's good that I can show Max that. We talk about it. I want him to know that there is another world than his. That's good to keep his feet on the ground. As a mother, I'm sometimes afraid that he'll start to float. I think it's my job to prevent that. I often say: 'Max, don't get too big for your boots, boy. Be nice to people, be nice to the fans. If there are twenty fans, don't sign five, but twenty autographs.' Max knows that, how important that is. And he does that with a smile. Deep down he is very down to earth. Max is a very down-to-earth guy, actually. He now has a Swedish girlfriend - someone who also races. When those two visit: it is really very relaxed. Something to eat, a game of cards, a chat. Max really likes 'normal'. He recently got a sponsorship contract with Puma. He said: 'Mum, then I'll get a new pair of shoes!' I thought that was nice of him. That he could be as happy as a child with a new pair of shoes."

It's been a madhouse since Sunday. Both in Monaco and in Maaseik. "Even I've been overwhelmed all week. I've received 1,500 Facebook requests. The phone didn't stop ringing. Journalists called from America. It really can stop now. Just because Max has won once, doesn't mean he'll keep winning. We all have to stay level-headed about that. Things have been going really well for Max for a year and a half now. There will be a dip at some point. We better prepare for that. I always impress that on Max. 'Think carefully and enjoy it, because it could all be over tomorrow.' He then says: 'Yes, mum, I know.'"

It can never end more suddenly than with a crash. Last year Max came close to that. It happened in Monaco. His car: straight into the tire barrier. Sophie was watching. "I remember thinking: please, get out of that car. And he did get out of that car - unharmed. Maybe that won't happen one day. Or he will be seriously injured. From the moment your child puts on a helmet, you know that it can go wrong. Look at Jules Bianchi, last year. That crash was so hard that he was brain dead. They had to pull the plug. We talk about that. What if something like that ever happens to Max? At least we'll know that it happened while he was doing what he loved to do."

"When I light candles, that is why. So that everything goes well. But you do take into account that it could be different every time. I find the start especially difficult. After two or three laps that improves. When they're all driving behind each other. Should I tell Max that he's not allowed to race? That wouldn't be fair. I've done circuits myself. So who am I to stop my son? Fortunately I know: Formula 1 has become increasingly safer in recent years. Less and less can go wrong."

Sophie - an interior designer by education - was 21 when she said goodbye to top-level sport. "Jos and I saw each other so little that I chose my marriage . Now I sometimes think: 'What if?' When I chose Jos, I said 'no' to a top offer from Formula Opel Lotus. What if I had said 'yes'? I was good at the time. Although I also know: then I wouldn't have had Max and Victoria. The dream that I had to put aside myself, Max is now realizing in my place. That feels good. The sacrifices were not in vain. Because sacrifices: we all made them. Victoria too. Our whole life has been about Max. Sometimes I feel bad for Victoria. I can feel quite guilty about that. It must not have always been easy for Victoria to stand in the shadow of her brother. My daughter works in haircare now. Two weeks ago she put highlights on me. She is one of the best in her class. I am incredibly proud of her - just as proud as I am of Max. But sometimes it gnaws at me: Victoria was very good at karting as a child. What if Jos had invested as much in her as in Max? She could have gone very far, because I think she is better than me. I would have thought it was fantastic. If a woman does well in motorsport, that is still more impressive than when a man does it. Only, it turned out differently. And now that she is sixteen, it doesn't have to be that way for her anymore. She is happy the way she is. People often ask her why she is not like her brother. But then I think: let her be herself."

"Especially now that Max is getting older, he realizes those things. He knows that his sister sacrificed everything for him. They get along very well. Max will always take care of Victoria - a mother senses those things. They once made an appointment, laughing. Victoria had wanted a Louis Vuitton handbag for a long time. 'But I won't get one from mom,' she had told Max. And so Max said: 'When I score my first points in F1, you'll get one.' The day Max scored those points, he took Victoria into Düsseldorf. They bought the bag together. Victoria has been lugging her Vuitton everywhere ever since. That makes Max happy, I can see that. The bag has emotional value for him too: it symbolizes those first points."

She: employee at the OCMW. Her son: 'rising star' in Monaco. "Does Max earn a lot of money? A lot, yes. But he has a manager, who helps him manage that. That's good. Max recently missed his plane. He immediately booked a new ticket. I, with my salary, wouldn't be able to do that. But I'm glad he can, and still manages to be careful with his money. On Mother's Day, he suddenly showed up at the door. He had a surprise. He knew I was looking for a new small car. He took me to the dealership that day and bought me a car. He said: 'Mum, for everything you've done for me.' I can see him doing that for his sister someday. She recently wanted to see him drive in Bahrain. Then he said: 'Your ticket is ready, sister.' It's nice that he does that. He doesn't have to. But it's his way of giving something back." On Thursday, Max was on Belgian soil for 24 hours: the moment when Sophie could finally hold him. "I asked: Max, you're coming, aren't you? He said: 'Of course, mom. Will you cook me something nice?' I made carpaccio, a salad and some pasta. And for dessert: his guilty pleasure. Top sports always means dieting, but what is one Kinder chocolate? There are always some in the cupboard for him."

Next week Max faces his next challenge: the Monaco Grand Prix. Sophie is going to watch and is bringing a few family members along - motorsport is in the Kumpens' blood, Sophie is the niece of racer Anthony Kumpen. "Max sets the bar high. He crashed in Monaco last year. There was criticism about that. 'Wasn't he too young?' He thinks he has something to prove now. And I know: he doesn't necessarily need his mother for that. But I do enjoy being there for him."

"And. Uh. It gives me the chance to also go and see his apartment. I decorated it at the time. Going to have a look. Whether that young man of eighteen hasn't made a mess of it." (laughs)

[ginnsbaker]

fic: if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) (17/17)

Part Summary: “I firmly believe that when you do the right thing, everything will eventually fall into place. It might not turn out exactly as you hoped, but you’ll find a sense of understanding and peace with your decision.”

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Fem!Reader | Word count for this part: 7.600+ | Tags/Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of smut Author's note: Wow! Those five months went by so fast. Thank you so much for being with me on this journey. It's been my honor and pleasure sharing with you this story :)

Masterlist | Part I Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV I Part XV | Part XVI

-

“Tell me that your love is a sure thing” - Golden Vessel, Emerson Leif (“Hesitate”)

“Do you think I should ask Y/N to come with me?” Leigh asks, idly twisting a gold bauble between her fingers. She stares at it a beat too long, like she might find the answer in the curve of its shiny surface. 

It's three days before Christmas, and true to Shaw family tradition, they're just now getting around to setting up the decorations. It wouldn't have happened at all if Amy hadn't taken the initiative to remind them. She was supposed to help, but she's vanished again to meet another “friend.” Leigh and Jules are suspicious, thinking their mom might be seeing someone in secret.

Jules, teetering slightly on the ladder, twists around to give Leigh a raised eyebrow. “To the Harrison’s bash for New Year’s? Hell yeah, why not? She’s a blast. Could shake things up a bit.”

“No, not that,” Leigh exhales, now regretting even bringing it up. “I mean the comic book tour for Matt.”

Jules steps down, one rung at a time, until she’s down to Leigh’s level. “Oh. That’s…quite a step. But, why not? Sounds like an adventure for you both,” she says.

Logan zips by, a sheeny red bauble in his mouth, set on a mission to place it next to his bowl in the kitchen. He keeps fetching or chasing after the scattered Christmas balls, sending them rolling all over the house. Leigh and Jules have been running around, picking them up and putting them back on the tree.

“It’s not just that,” Leigh says, glancing out the window where the first hints of evening are brushing the sky. “Asking her to come means asking her to leave everything here behind. Her life, her responsibilities. It’s different for her—she has a real career.”

“Hold up—what we do is a real career too. We’re improving lives with healthy habits, remember?”

Leigh laughs sardonically. “Come on, Jules, we're kinda just floating, working for Mom. Y/N is a doctor, owns her clinic, has staff. That’s...”

“That’s a big deal,” Jules agrees with a solemn nod. “It’s a huge ask, for sure.”

Silence hangs for a beat, the only sounds being Logan’s light panting as he settles down, ornament forgotten. 

“Do you think she'd actually say no?” Jules suddenly pipes up, climbing back up the ladder to resume her decorating. Leigh spots a stray ornament a few feet away, points at it, and calls out, “Fetch!” 

Logan springs into action, scampering to retrieve it. As he returns, triumphant, Leigh gives him a pat on the head and passes the ornament up to Jules.

“Actually, it’s quite the opposite. She’d jump at the chance,” she tells Jules.

“So, what’s stopping you?”

“She might regret it later,” Leigh says quietly. “And that could mean losing her.”

Jules frowns, understanding the bind her sister is in. She stretches out a hand, and Leigh takes it, their palms pressing cold and warm together. “I’m sorry.”

“And if I leave her here, I might lose her anyway,” Leigh adds, the heaviness of two futures making her shoulders sag. 

Jules gives her hand a firm squeeze. “But what if you both end up regretting not taking the chance? It’s only a few months. Maybe Y/N can sort something out with her clinic?”

“It’s still too risky for her business. She’s poured everything into that place, Jules. Asking her to step away, even briefly—it’s…it’s selfish.”

“Life’s full of risky asks, Leigh. Sometimes, you gotta bet on what’s scary. Risk a little heartbreak on the chance it’ll bring you both something remarkable. Maybe this is one of those times?”

Leigh releases her hand and moves to another bare section of the tree. “Is that the kind of thinking that made you decide to look for your biological parents in Vietnam?”

Jules snaps the tinsel down, her response coming quick and a bit sharp. “Yes.”

Leigh winces slightly, realizing her question might have prodded an unintended sore spot. “I didn’t mean—”

“I get it,” Jules interjects, sighing as she tries to bring the conversation to a close. They’re both dealing with their own issues, and as much as she loves Leigh, she knows she’s not in the right headspace to offer solid advice—especially advice she’s not even sure works.

Leigh clamps her mouth shut. She doesn’t want this to turn into an argument either.

“Maybe just talk to her? See what she thinks? Who knows, maybe the biggest leaps make the most sense when you’re doing them for the right reasons... for the right person,” Jules says after some time. 

“You really think so?” Leigh asks, her voice threaded with hope.

“I do,” Jules nods, her hands busy rewrapping the tinsel Logan has graciously returned. “Just talk to her. It’s either a ‘what if’ or a ‘what now.’ Better to find out which.”

-

Leigh comes with her mouth open, but no sound escapes. Her body trembles as she experiences what she knows is the best orgasm she's ever had—though she remembers saying the same thing about this morning’s quickie in your bathroom. It just seems to keep getting better each time.

You slowly climb up from her pussy, trailing soft kisses along her stomach. As you move upward, you let your tongue lightly trace a stripe across one of her nipples, eliciting a shiver from Leigh. She’s still catching her breath, but when you finally reach her lips, she pulls you in for a deep, consuming kiss. The way her tongue wrestles with yours tells you she’s already eager for more, her hands tangling in your hair as she holds you close.

You break the kiss, smiling down at her. “Hi,” you murmur, almost shyly.

Leigh, still a little dazed, brushes the strands of hair off your forehead and gently traces your lower lip with her thumb. “You know something?” she asks, her eyes wandering over the marks and lines on your face.

“Hm?” 

She kisses the corner of your mouth. “You're kind of amazing,” she says softly.

“That good, huh?” you tease, a playful smile tugging at your lips.

Her hand, which has been cupping your face, slides down your neck before she pulls it back to herself, biting at her index fingernail.

“I’m sure you can tell,” she whispers, her voice low and sultry. To emphasize her point, she arches her hips, the slickness between her thighs evident against your skin.

“You’re going to have to give me a minute,” you sigh, letting your head fall to her sweaty chest. “You’ve completely worn me out.”

Leigh laughs, a soft, melodic sound. “Really? Getting tired already? What happened to your stamina?”

You don’t bother to retort, content just to lie there listening to the rhythm of her heart. “It’s hard work keeping you satisfied,” you say after some time, your voice muffled against her skin.

She tightens her hold around you, the gentle stroke of her fingers in your hair making every thought slow down. The security of her embrace makes everything seem right in the world, and it emboldens you to voice a thought that's been on your mind more and more lately.

“You know,” you start, lifting your head to catch her eyes, “I was thinking… maybe you should move in with me.”

Leigh stiffens just a bit, her eyes darting away for a moment, and you instantly regret how fast you’ve blurted it out. You sit up, trying to backpedal, “Only if you want to, I mean... it was just a thought. You're here most nights anyway, and your toothbrush is already—”

Before you can ramble on, Leigh leans in and silences you with a gentle kiss. “Slow down,” she whispers against your lips, her smile reassuring.

You chuckle, giving her a sheepish, lopsided smile. “Right, right,” you agree, settling back down beside her. 

Leigh shifts to lie on her side, propping herself up on one elbow. Her eyes, still dark with want, sweep over your body—flushed, soft, and still quivering slightly from your efforts to pleasure her. She catches herself, though, and with a more composed motion, she pulls the blanket up to cover you, tucking it around your chest.

You look up at her, your expression ironically innocent, waiting for her to say what's on her mind.

“I’d love to,” Leigh finally says. “But do you really think it’s the right move?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, we’ve just started exploring what this is, what we could be, and I’m already planning to leave. It feels like I’m setting us up for...” Leigh doesn’t finish the sentence, but she doesn’t have to.

Matt's book tour looms over both of you, an ever-present shadow no matter how tightly you try to cling to each other. It's as if you believe that by melding into one with Leigh, you could somehow will her impending departure into nonexistence.

Though before you can say anything, your phone rings from the coffee table beside you. You reach over and grab it, your mom's name flashing urgently on the screen. A quick glance at the time sends a jolt through you—you were to pick her up at the airport but completely lost track of time.

Leigh sits up too, clutching the sheet to her naked torso. “What is it?”

You wince, the irony of the situation not lost on you. “It's my mom,” you explain hurriedly. “I should have left, like, half an hour ago to pick her up at the airport. She’s staying with me for a few days until right before New Year’s.” 

A moment ago, you were discussing moving in together, and now you find yourself needing to ask her to leave. 

Leigh raises an eyebrow, smiling coyly as she realizes the implications of your mother’s arrival. “And let me guess, she's staying here? In your one-bedroom palace?”

“Yeah,” you say, scrambling to get dressed. “Which means I need to air out the place, change the sheets... make it look like I live like a monk.” You stop for a second, looking at Leigh with an apologetic frown on your face. “And I kind of need to ask you to leave now. Please don’t be mad.”

“Mad?” Leigh laughs as she swings her legs out of bed and starts gathering her clothes. Once she's collected them all, she steps closer, gives you a quick kiss, and murmurs right next to your ear, “I’m furious.”

You kiss her hair gently before stepping in front of the mirror to check your appearance, making sure you don't look as disheveled as you feel.

“Gives us both some time to think about everything. The tour, us moving in, all of it,” Leigh says, slipping into her jeans.

“Absolutely,” you agree, watching her.

“Change those sheets well, huh?” she teases, zipping up her bag. “You know how moms can be.”

You grimace jokingly at her comment. “Please, don't ever use 'sheets' and 'mom' in the same sentence ever again.”

Leigh laughs again, clearly enjoying you squirm. She slings her bag over her shoulder, waiting for you to finish getting ready.

As you cap your lip gloss, an idea suddenly strikes you. Seeing Leigh's expectant look reflected in the mirror, you ask, “Hey, how about you join me to pick her up at the airport?”

Meeting your mom seems like another huge step in your relationship, but she doesn't hesitate.

“Is it okay with your mom?” she asks, a bit wary.

You shrug, taking her hand confidently. “Why wouldn't it be?”

-

Apparently, you’re the spitting image of your mother.

At least, that’s how Leigh sees it as she watches you both hug it out in the arrival section of LAX. As a fitness pundit, Leigh immediately notices your mom's excellent posture, despite her petite frame. It's the first thing she observes in anyone, and your mom is no exception. Beyond that, you both share the same quick smile and the way your eyes light up in laughter—deep brown, the color of rich coffee, which Leigh finds particularly striking. Even the gestures are mirrored; the way you both tuck hair behind your ear when nervous, or the confidence in your strides.

What distinctly sets her apart from you, though, is how intimidating your mom appears to be.

As you walk to the parking lot, holding your mom’s hand in one of yours and Leigh’s in the other, your mom chats animatedly about a hot spring resort she discovered near your hometown. Leigh keeps half a step behind, doing her best to stay engaged while keeping up with your pace.

“So, how was your flight?” Leigh asks, finding a moment to wedge herself into the conversation.

Your mom barely glances back, responding briefly before turning her attention back to you. “Long, but it’s always nice to spend Christmas with my daughter,” she says, squeezing your hand affectionately.

Leigh tries again. “It's pretty nice weather here, isn't it? I bet it's a lot colder on the East Coast right now.”

“Oh, it’s freezing out there, Leigh,” you chime in, completely oblivious to the awkward interaction between your mom and your girlfriend. 

Your mom nods but doesn't elaborate, her focus still on you. “We should stop by that bakery you always gush about,” she says, eyes bright with excitement.

Leigh's grip on your hand tightens slightly, and she lags further behind. “Oh, that store closes at five. It’s seven already,” you say. 

Desperate to connect, Leigh tries for the final time. “There are special light installations in the park for the holidays. Would you like to go see them?”

Your mom finally looks back, but her smile is thin. “I’m not much into these ‘light installations’. Too much walking.” She quickly shifts back to you. “How’s work been?”

“Work’s been busy, but manageable,” you say, glancing back at Leigh, who offers a small, strained smile.

The three of you continue to the parking lot, the conversation feeling increasingly one-sided. As you reach the car, you open the trunk and help with the bags, all the while trying to think of a way to include Leigh more naturally.

“Leigh and I were thinking of checking out that new restaurant downtown,” you say, making an effort to draw your mom's attention to her.

“Sounds nice,” your mom replies. “But actually, I'm not hungry—just a bit tired.”

Leigh’s expression falls just a bit, but she quickly masks it, helping with the last of the luggage. She figures that’s her cue to leave. 

You can’t hide your frustration. Your plan was to have a nice dinner, a proper introduction. “Are you sure, Mom? It doesn’t have to be a long meal,” you push back gently.

“Let’s just get your mom home, she’s had a long day,” Leigh tells you softly.

You glance at your mom, silently pleading for her to reconsider, but she only smiles. “Maybe another time, dear.”

Reluctantly, you agree.

-

You lead your mom into the living room, urging her to make herself comfortable while you hurry to get the bedroom ready. The sheets need changing, the windows thrown open to freshen the air, and the whole space needs a bit of tidying. 

“I’ll be right back,” you mumble, disappearing into the bedroom.

In the bedroom, you work quickly, stripping the used sheets and flinging the windows wide. You hustle, smoothing on fresh sheets, fluffing pillows, and straightening up—getting rid of all the evidence of what you and Leigh had been doing all week. 

Meanwhile, your mom isn't one to just sit around. She takes in the scattered magazines, the couch cushions askew, and the dishes piled up in the kitchen. With a small sigh, she gets up and starts putting things in order. She straightens up the living room and moves on to tackle the kitchen. Before long, the sound of running water and clinking dishes fills your tiny apartment.

When she’s done setting things in order, she starts rummaging through your fridge and pantry. With only a few ingredients at hand, she decides to make do with what you have. Soon, she's boiling spaghetti and slicing hotdogs to toss into the mix. This dish was a childhood favorite of yours and remains a go-to comfort food. As soon as the familiar aroma wafts through the air, you find yourself irresistibly drawn toward the kitchen.

“Is that...?” you start, a delighted smile spreading across your face at the sight of the generous layer of shredded cheese melting over the thick red sauce.

“Sit down and eat while it's hot,” your mom commands with a warm smile.

You don’t need to be told twice.  Fork in hand, you dive into the spaghetti as though you haven't eaten in days. Considering your usual diet of takeout and quick fixes, that's not too far from the truth. You chat about small, inconsequential things—the new coffee shop you tried last week, the remarkable cases you’ve encountered in the clinic this month, the shows you’ve been watching on Netflix. 

Finishing your meal, you lean back with a satisfied sigh, feeling truly content for the first time in a long while.

“Mom?”

“Yes, dear?”

“So... what do you think of Leigh?”

“So that’s Leigh, huh?” Your mom pauses, setting down her cup of tea with deliberate care. “The widow of the guy you unknowingly dated for a while, not realizing he was married?”

“Yeah, that’s her,” you confirm, nodding slowly as your nerves start to build. The last time you brought up Leigh to your mom, you were almost ready to throw in the towel until she urged you to give it another shot. Now, more than anything, you're hoping she'll give her approval.

She nods thoughtfully, then with a sly grin, says, “Well, she's definitely out of your league.”

“Mom!” you exclaim, embarrassed.

She chuckles, clearly pleased with her little joke.

“Come on, be serious,” you plead.

Your mom clasps her hands on the table, and gives you that look—the one that means business. You can't help but roll your eyes at her theatrics, clearly aimed at getting a rise out of you.

“Leigh seems lovely,” she says. You can tell she’s sincere and that makes you sigh in relief. “And I really appreciate how she tried to engage with me earlier.”

You relax slightly, but then, as you replay the earlier interactions in your mind, you realize Leigh seemed frustrated and your mom wasn’t as welcoming as she usually is. Your face scrunches up as this sinks in.

“Wait, you were really standoffish to Leigh earlier!”

She holds up her hands in a half-shrug, her smirk fading into a more thoughtful expression. “Oh, honey, I didn’t mean to come off that way at all,” she says. “I guess I was just being overprotective. You know, considering how everything started between you two.”

You appreciate her motherly instincts but wish she'd given Leigh a fairer chance from the start. “I get it, Mom. But Leigh is really important to me now. It would mean a lot if you could try to get to know her better. For me?”

“Of course, sweetie,” she says. “What do you need?”

“Well, for starters…” you start, pausing as you try to find the right way to explain. You're about to share that you'll be spending Christmas dinner with the Shaws this year. It's always been just the two of you for the holidays, so you're not sure how she'll take the news of including others she hardly knows. “You’ll have an opportunity to bond with her the day after tomorrow.”

“What’s on Tuesday?”

“Christmas Eve dinner,” you reply. “At the Shaws.”

“Dinner at your girlfriend’s?” she clarifies.

You nod, your lip catching between your teeth. It still feels a little surreal—exciting, actually—being able to call Leigh your girlfriend. “Yeah, Mom. I thought it’d be nice for us to join them this year.”

Instead of giving an outright yes, she asks, “What should I bring? I want to make a good impression.”

You stand up and walk around the table to give her a hug. She wraps her arms around you and plants a kiss on your forehead. “Thank you,” you mutter into her shoulder. “Maybe bring your blueberry pie? Everyone loves that.”

“You love it,” she says cheerily. “Consider it done.”

Slipping back into old habits, you start clearing the dinner dishes, just like you used to when you lived with her. As you stack dishes and run water in the sink, your mom begins unpacking her bags in your bedroom. As you scrub the dishes, thoughts of following Leigh and leaving everything here behind start to overwhelm you. Once the kitchen is spotless and the last dish is put away, you realize you can't keep these feelings bottled up any longer. 

You call out to your mother as you dry your hands on a kitchen towel. A few seconds later, she reappears in the living room, her face expectant.

“Hey, uhm,” you say, not knowing how to start. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.”

“Go on,” she urges gently.

You take a deep breath before continuing, “Matt’s comic book is getting published posthumously. The publishing company wants Leigh to join a tour to promote the book, and I'm… I’m thinking of joining her.”

Your mom's expression becomes inscrutable as she processes the information. She walks to the couch and takes a seat. After a long pause, she asks, “What will happen to your clinic here?” 

You look down, fidgeting with the towel in your hands, and then meet her gaze. “I’ve thought about that,” you say. “I’d need to find someone to cover for me. It wouldn’t be easy, but... I feel like I need to be there for Leigh. This is important to her, and… she’s everything to me.”

You try to read her reaction, but every line on her face remains perfectly still and composed. “Is it because you want to be there for her,” she says slowly, “or because you're afraid that if she leaves, you might lose her?”

Your eyes drop to the floor, and that's answer enough for your mother.

“Come here,” she says, patting the empty spot on the couch next to her. Wordlessly, you oblige.

“It's okay to be scared,” she whispers. “Loving someone means taking risks. Just remember, you need to be true to yourself as well. Leigh is important, but so are you.”

“I just don’t want to regret not giving my all to see this through with her,” you say.

“You love her,” she states, not as a question, but as a fact.

“I really do,” you say quietly.

“I firmly believe that when you do the right thing, everything will eventually fall into place. It might not turn out exactly as you hoped, but you’ll find a sense of understanding and peace with your decision.”

-

Your mom's words stay with you throughout the night. As you lie in bed, you can hear her soft breathing, her back turned to you.

You’ll find a sense of understanding and peace with your decision.

Your phone vibrates gently beneath your pillow, and you smile when you see a message from Leigh.

Leigh [10:45 PM]: Can’t sleep. I miss you.

You [10:45 PM]: Miss you too.

She doesn't reply, but she fills your head well into the night. The future is uncertain, but one thing feels right: going with Leigh on her tour is the decision that brings you peace.

-

Christmas Eve dinner arrives sooner than you expected.

Pulling up to the Shaws' house, you're amazed by the decorations that the siblings have tirelessly worked on for the past two days. The house is transformed into a festive wonderland, with twinkling lights draped over every surface, garlands of holly framing the windows, and a towering Christmas tree visible through the living room window, adorned with shimmering ornaments and tinsel.

You watch your mom's reaction as you both step out of the car, seeing the lights reflected in her awe-filled eyes. You beam at her, proud of your girlfriend's decorating skills and holiday spirit.

You and your mom walk up to the doorstep. She clutches her much-loved blueberry pie, which you’re looking forward to having a hearty slice of tonight, while you carefully hold Leigh's gift—a Lego typewriter modeled after a vintage 1950s design. You feel a twinge of nervousness about how she’ll receive your gift.

Moments later, the door swings open to reveal Leigh, all dressed up, and for a moment, you're speechless. Leigh has always been beautiful. No matter what she wears—be it casual joggers, sleek dresses, or even just her underwear—she never fails to leave an impression. Tonight is no different; she takes your breath away all over again.

“Merry Christmas!” Leigh greets brightly. “Almost, anyway,” she adds with a nervous laugh.

“Your decorations are incredible,” your mom says, smiling at her.

“Oh, thank you!” Leigh replies, her cheeks flushing at the unexpected compliment. 

“Where should I put this?” your mom asks, holding up her pie.

“You didn’t have to, but wow, that looks amazing! Come on in, I'll show you,” Leigh says, stepping aside to let you both in. She leads you to the kitchen, where the smells of holiday cooking are even stronger. “You can set it right here,” she points to a spot on the counter already laden with various dishes and desserts.

Just as your mom sets the pie on the counter, Amy walks in. Leigh introduces her mom, and the two women share friendly greetings before Amy’s attention quickly turns to the blueberry pie. They dive into a lively discussion about cooking, swapping recipes as if they’ve known each other for years.

Leigh turns to you, her eyes shining. “I'm so glad you’re here now,” she says softly, her fingers lightly brushing against yours. Craving more contact, you gently grasp her hand and guide her to the backyard where Logan is nonchalantly marking a geranium. With no one around now, you draw Leigh close and kiss her deeply. Leigh responds just as fervently, her hand coming to rest on your waist and then squeezing, making you moan into her mouth. She takes advantage of the moment, slipping her tongue in. Her other hand finds its way to your neck, pulling you even closer. You can feel her heartbeat against your chest, matching the rhythm of your own.

When you finally pull back, breathless, you rest your forehead against hers. Leigh's eyes are half-lidded, her lips slightly swollen, tempting you to lean in once more. Just as you're about to, she finally takes notice of the enormous box under your arm.

“Is that for me?”

“Yes,” you say, handing it to her. “I hope you like it.”

Leigh's eyes widen as she takes her gift, her excitement further lighting up her soulful green eyes.

“I've got something for you too,” she says, giving the box a little shake. “It's upstairs in my bedroom. Want to get it now?”

You shake your head, matching her giddy smile. “Maybe later. If you take me to your bedroom now, I can't promise we'll be back in time for dinner,” you say.

Leigh chuckles. Honestly, she feels the same way. “Well then, can I open this now?” she asks.

“Absolutely! Go ahead. I really hope you like it.”

Leigh quickly starts unwrapping your gift, her fingers deftly tearing through the wrapping paper. As the paper falls away, her eyes widen in pleasant surprise at the sight of the Lego typewriter.

“Oh my gosh, it's perfect! Thank you so much!” She carefully places it on the ground before wrapping you in a tight embrace.

“You're welcome,” you whisper, circling your arms around her waist and pulling her close.

When she pulls back, her eyes are brimming with happiness and something deeper—pure, unfiltered love. She stares at you, her gaze soft and intense, as if she's seeing you for the first time.

“I can't believe you remembered,” she says, referring to a conversation you had weeks prior. “This means so much to me.”

You smile, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “I just wanted to make you happy.”

Something in your words strikes a chord within her. Without thinking, she blurts out, “Come with me to Matt's comic book tour.”

Her eyes widen slightly as she realizes what she's just said. But she doesn't take it back; instead, she buries her face in your neck, breathing in your scent. With each breath, she finds the idea of being apart from you increasingly unbearable.

“I want you to be there with me,” she continues with more conviction. “I can't imagine doing this without you.”

She pulls back slightly, needing to see your reaction. In your eyes, she finds the same depth of love she feels for you, mirrored back at her.

“As you wish,” you whisper, leaning in to seal your promise with a kiss.

-

Dinner is a success, largely due to Amy's and your mom's excellent cooking skills. The pasta prepared by Leigh and Jules wasn't a total disaster, but it had its mishaps. After the first batch turned too soggy—practically mush—Jules had to dash out in the middle of dinner to buy another pack of pasta.

Leigh’s father made a brief appearance with his new family, stirring a bit of awkwardness between the exes. Luckily, your mother defused the tension by suggesting a family game. It wasn’t long before laughter filled the room, with Jules energetically shouting clues at those struggling to guess the words on their foreheads.

In the middle of the game, Leigh volunteers to do the dishes. You offer to help, but Jules quickly drags you out of your seat to be the next one to guess the word. While you’re preoccupied, your mom quietly slips out of the living room and follows Leigh into the kitchen.

Leigh is surprised to see your mom. “I've got this,” she assures her with a polite smile. Despite your mom having considerably warmed up to her, Leigh still feels a bit anxious in her presence.

Your mom simply picks up some dinnerware that has already been washed and starts wiping them dry with a towel. “Do you know why Y/N became a veterinarian?” she asks casually.

Leigh smiles, recalling your story about Max, the first animal you ever helped. “Yes, she told me about rescuing a pup. It was really touching,” she says, her eyes softening at the memory.

Your mom observes Leigh, who has already returned to busily washing the dishes. “That’s right. But there’s more to it,” she says.

Leigh stops what she’s doing and tilts her head. “What do you mean by that?” she asks.

“Y/N did get into veterinary school,” your mom begins, placing a dry plate on the stack. “But she dropped out after the first semester. She had this deep-seated dream of traveling the world.”

Leigh listens attentively, wiping her hands on a dishcloth.

“Her father and older brother are both veterinarians, running a small clinic in our town. Naturally, they encouraged her to follow the same path,” your mom continues, “and while she loved animals, she also wanted to explore every corner of the world ever since she was a kid.”

Leigh's hands pause in the sudsy water as she absorbs every word.

“Her father gave her his blessing, and off she went. She traveled the world for two years.”

“What brought her back?” Leigh asks.

Your mom takes a deep breath, her knuckles whitening as she grips the towel more tightly. “H-Her father and brother were killed in a car accident,” she says, each word seeming to be painfully forced out of her.

Leigh's hand flies to her mouth in horror. “Oh no, I... I didn’t know,” she stammers, feeling a rush of guilt and confusion. Why hadn’t this crucial detail come up before?

“It was a terrible time,” your mom says quietly, “but it brought her back home.”

Leigh is silent, guilt gnawing at her for not knowing such a significant detail of your life. She’s been so caught up in sharing her own thoughts and plans, and you’ve always been the listener, never pressing her to ask about your past. She realizes now how little she’s asked about your family.

Leigh abandons her chore altogether. “W-What happened then?”

“After the accident, without their expertise, we couldn't keep the clinic running,” your mom replies, her voice steadier now but still tinged with sadness. “We had to put it up for sale. It was devastating to lose what they had worked so hard for.

“For a long time, Y/N was depressed. She blamed herself for not being there in the last two years, for putting her own interests first. And with the clinic gone, she felt like she had failed to preserve their legacy.”

Leigh is at a loss for words, her eyes growing bleary. “I’m—” 

“Being a housewife all those years, I suddenly found myself needing to help put food on the table so Y/N could go back to school,” your mom explains. “For a year, she was just a shell of herself, hardly the vibrant person you know now.”

Needing a moment to process all these revelations, Leigh moves to the dining table and sits down. Her legs feel weak at the thought of you being so heartbroken. She knows grief all too well. Losing one person she loved nearly destroyed her; she can't imagine losing two at once.

“Y/N is the most… beautiful, wonderful and well-adjusted person I know,” Leigh says after a while. “I wouldn't have guessed she went through all that.”

“My daughter is a miracle,” your mom states with a soft smile.

“Thank you for telling me all this,” Leigh says sincerely.  “It means a lot to understand what she’s been through.”

Your mom nods and says, “I'm not telling you this just because you're her girlfriend. I'm telling you because I know she’s planning to follow you and leave her practice here in LA behind.”

Leigh's breath hitches as she takes it all in. Learning about your father and brother, she realizes she nearly forgot what she asked of you just hours ago. It's not just a job or a business you're leaving behind—it's a dream that keeps their memory alive, a part of you where they still live on.

“Please, don't ask her to leave everything behind,” your mom says, her voice almost pleading. “Just promise her that you'll come back for her.”

It’s not an easy promise to make—or keep. The mere uncertainty of what lies ahead holds her back. She can't stand the idea of breaking a promise to you or betraying your trust in any way.

Leigh's silence stretches on, and your mom speaks again. “If you can't promise to come back for her, just end it. Don't let it drag on. She's tougher than she knows. It'll hurt, but she won't be alone—I'll be there, and so will her friends and coworkers.”

Leigh balks at her. “I don't want to rush into a decision.”

But your mom isn't listening. Her concern cuts through her caution, compelling her to share more. “After we lost half our family, she was never the same. She’d sacrifice everything for someone she loves, always skeptical of a second chance. She loves like there's no tomorrow.”

It’s the one thing your mother said tonight that rings truest about you. You do love as if it's the last thing you'll ever do.

Before Leigh can respond, Amy walks in, sensing the tension immediately. “Is everything alright?” she asks, her eyes darting between Leigh and your mom.

Leigh suddenly realizes she's been crying, and so has your mom. Your mother excuses herself to the bathroom, leaving Amy looking concerned and bewildered.

“What was that about?” Amy asks.

Leigh, shaken and overwhelmed, struggles to speak. “I-I need to get the gifts for everyone. They're upstairs,” she stammers, then quickly heads to the bedroom, needing to escape and collect herself.

Amy watches Leigh leave, then reaches for the blueberry pie, trying not to read too much into the haunted look in her daughter’s eyes.

-

It’s a cold January evening when Leigh finally gathers the courage to talk to you. Your mother flew back to Maine three days after Boxing Day, and the rest of the holidays passed by in pure bliss. The two of you are curled up on the couch, a blanket draped over your legs, the remnants of dinner still on the coffee table. She’s been avoiding this conversation, clinging to the hope that something might change. But the more she thinks about the family you lost when you were younger, the more convinced she becomes that your mother was right.

“Can we talk?” Leigh’s voice is soft, almost drowned out by the movie playing in the background.

You mute the TV and turn to her, a look of concern immediately crossing your face. “Of course. What’s on your mind?”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about us, about our future,” Leigh says slowly.

It doesn’t immediately ring any alarm bells in your head, but your heart starts to race. “Okay…” you murmur. You can't help but notice her hands twisting nervously in her lap. You reach out to steady them, and as she looks up, her resolve breaks.

“I love you. You mean the world to me, but…I don’t know if it’s right for you to come with me.”

You frown, eyebrows stitched together in confusion and denial. “Leigh, what are you talking about?”

She looks away, her hands slipping from your grasp as she inches further into her corner of the couch. “I can’t be the reason you give up everything you’ve worked so hard for,” she says.

“I’m not,” you reassure her, trying to keep calm. “It’s just for a little while, right? Less than six months on tour. And it's not like we'll be non-stop; the schedule allows breaks. We can come back home in between. We’ve discussed this, remember? We have a plan in place.”

Leigh grows quiet, her gaze fixed on a spot on the floor. She takes a long breath through her nose, as if preparing herself for something even harder to say. “That's the thing,” she whispers. “I might not come back.”

Everything around you stills.

“What do you mean, you might not come back?”

Leigh’s eyes remained glued to the floor. “For the longest time, I’ve thought about leaving. Now that Jules is embarking on her own trip to Vietnam, and Mom is planning a long vacation in Europe, it feels like the best time to explore what's out there.”

“Leigh, we've been planning this together. It's just a tour. We'll be back,” you reiterate in frustration, starting to grasp at straws.

She merely shakes her head. “Everything about this place reminds me of Matt—both the good and the bad memories. Maybe I—”

“Great. The Matt card again,” you snap.

Leigh bristles at your comment. She stands abruptly and begins to pace. Seething. “Card?” she retorts sharply. “This is my life, my pain—”

“And you’ve just been running away from it all!” you counter, standing up too. “Running away from me!”

“Didn't you?” she fires back, her voice breaking. 

“What—”

“Didn't you do the same thing when you lost your—” Leigh can't finish the sentence. It hurts too much to even say it.

You take a step back, shocked. “How did you—”

“Your mom told me.”

The room certainly feels like it's closing in. Unable to stand any longer, your legs give out, and you collapse onto the couch, burying your face in your hands and massaging your temples. Leigh watches you for a moment, then sits beside you. She reaches out tentatively but pulls back, unsure of what to say or do.

Your hands fall away from your face, and you turn to her, your eyes filled with pain and betrayal. “You learned about me losing my dad and my brother, and your response is to... leave me as well?”

Leigh's eyes fill with tears again, and she looks away, unable to hold your gaze. “It’s not like that,” she whispers, her voice trembling.

“What if I promise that the clinic will be okay? Foreman can manage things while I’m away, I trust him,” you suggest, your voice wavering as the reality of the situation starts to consume you.

Leigh shakes her head, dabbing at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I can't,” she murmurs. “I can’t feel good about myself knowing I'm pulling you away from something important to you.”

“But you're what's important to me, Leigh,” you argue weakly.

“That’s not how it works, Y/N,” Leigh says, trying to fight more tears threatening to spill over. “It’s too imbalanced. We don’t need a relationship where one of us is sacrificing too much. That’s not healthy for either of us.”

You sit in stunned silence, her words sinking in. You've always been willing to sacrifice for the people you love, but now you see how it could be a burden for Leigh. 

You swallow hard, trying to compose yourself, the words sticking in your throat. “And you think the best for us is to be apart?”

She nods reluctantly. “I think the best for you is to not have to choose between your love and your life's work. I can't ask you to put anything on hold, not for me.”

“But I choose you, Leigh,” you say, tears now streaming down your face. “Doesn't that count for something?”

Leigh can’t help herself any longer. She moves closer, needing to comfort you despite being the source of your pain.

“It does,” she whispers, gently wiping away your tears with her thumb. “It counts for everything. But I need to know that you're not losing yourself to be with me. I can't live with that.”

With that, she pulls you close. You hold each other tightly, falling asleep on the narrow sofa, clinging to each other as if letting go would mean losing everything.

But by the time the sun has risen high in the sky, Leigh is already gone.

-

There are days when you feel bitter about Leigh deciding to break up with you, especially with weeks still left before the tour begins. You oscillate between anger at her decision and a reluctant acceptance that it might have been the right choice for both of you. More often than not, the anger prevails, leading you to drink yourself to sleep, only to wake up the next day to discover that nothing has changed.

Leigh is still leaving.

-

To your surprise, Amy willingly provides you with Leigh's flight itinerary out of Los Angeles. In the days leading up to her departure, you find yourself constantly formulating and discarding plans. Will you show up at the airport and whisk her away? Convince her to change her mind? Perhaps even show up with your own suitcase, ready to join her if you can persuade her at the last minute that she’s making a huge mistake?

Ultimately, none of your scenarios play out. However, you do find yourself at the airport, arriving ten minutes before her boarding gate closes. There, you spot Leigh standing in the lobby with a small suitcase. In that instant, you feel like you’ve accepted—for real this time—her decision to do this on her own.

You watch from the shadows as her gaze darts around as if searching for someone. Your heart swells with a mix of hope and sorrow, realizing she might be looking for you. You stay hidden, watching as she pulls out her phone and dials a number. Your phone vibrates in your back pocket. With your eyes still on her, you answer it.

“Hey, it's me,” Leigh starts awkwardly, as if implying that you might not remember how she sounds. You haven’t spoken to each other in weeks.

“I know it's you,” you reply softly.

“I'm about to board,” she says, and you can hear the reluctance in her voice.

“I see,” you say, struggling to contain the emotions that might slip through the cracks of your nonchalance. “Did you pack some food for the flight?”

She laughs, a tearful sound that squeezes your heart. “Yes, I picked up some donuts.”

“Sounds unhealthy, Ms. Shaw. Try to order some broccoli in-flight,” you tease her lightly.

“I hate broccoli,” she deadpans, her voice layered with a stubbornness you know well.

Then, she asks the harder questions, “Where are you? What are you doing?”

You mull it over, caught between honesty and the need to protect her decision. “I'm just hanging out in the clinic,” you lie, unwilling to reveal that you are there, watching her last moments before departure. “Will you call me when you land?”

She sounds like she wants to protest, but you cut in, “I need to know you're safe. It would really help me to know you're okay out there.”

After a few seconds, she agrees softly, “Okay, I'll call.”

“I’ll wait,” you say. “However long it takes,” you add, leaving the meaning of those words open for her to interpret.

They announce final boarding.

“Listen, I—I have to go,” Leigh says quickly. “Please, take care. Goodbye, Y/N.”

“Goodbye, Leigh,” you manage to say, your voice catching as you watch her walk away.

You end the call and pocket your phone. Watching her wipe away a tear and head towards her gate is almost too much to bear. You allow yourself a moment, a small smile playing on your lips, proud of her courage and saddened by her departure. You’ll be waiting for her call, but if it never comes, you'll understand. These moments don't erase the past several months you've spent getting to know Leigh.

And you wouldn’t trade them for the world.

-

At exactly ten in the evening, Leigh calls you from Boston.

[sc0tters]

Best Yet | Luke Hughes

summary: when luke gets the wrong idea of your friendship with ethan you can't help but let your feelings for luke slip.

request: yes/no

warnings: swearing, underage drinking.

word count: 2.53k

authors note: just like that we are back with the regular fics! this one has been staring at me from my inbox for a while now so it felt right to get it done. I know a lot of you guys wanted it to be done in one part but it didn't feel like the vibes meshed well so due to that keep your eyes peeled for part two soon!

part two

Being Luke’s best friend was the role you had your entire life.

Your moms went to college together so when they learnt they were pregnant at the same time it was of course a matter of destiny. When you were five you moved to Toronto and ended up having Luke a treehouse away from you. Quickly the two of you got known as each others other half as you were never seen too far away from Luke and he the same with you.

Life came at you both quickly as you ended up forever in Luke’s corner and his number one fan who was now watching him almost live out his dreams. Both Quinn and Jack had paved the way for him to become the third Hughes brother in the NHL and Luke wasn’t going to let the opportunity pass him by.

Draft day was finally upon you both and it was suffice to say that Luke was a nervous wreck. You had been in Toronto still after he moved to Michigan.

It was tough on you both having to watch him leave you “I can come visit?” Luke’s proposal was honestly there to make him feel better too as tears formed in his eyes “you better.” You nodded pulling him into a hug as tears streamed down your face. Ellen and your mom couldn’t help but feel bad about separating you two as it now meant you were no longer y/n and Luke who do everything together. You were now going to have to be y/n and Luke who only see each other twice a year “I’ll text you when I land.” Luke offered making you nod “no you better call me!” To the untrained eye they would think you two had never left each others sides. But you had, and the two months he spent in Michigan over the summer two years ago were total hell for the both of you.

Jack and Quinn couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of their younger brother “dude you’ll see her in December!” Plans had already been made for you to spend Christmas with the Hughes family but not even that felt like enough “now move over and let us hug her.” Jack nodded in agreement as he ruffled his hand through your hair making you groan.

But life had found itself getting in the way of your friendship when you were in Greece the same summer of the draft. Luke was crushed when he realised that you weren’t meant to be back until the week after the draft “Luke honey could you get the door please?” Ellen called out as she heard the knock. With the pandemic it meant the draft was happening from peoples homes “why should I have to?” Luke groaned getting up as he saw that Quinn and Jack were both closer to the door.

Yet when Ellen sent her son an unimpressed look Luke knew that he was best to go and see what was up “yes I’m coming!” Luke complained rolling his eyes until he froze upon opening the door.

There you were with a golden tan that he was certain you got whilst in Europe “surprise?” You smiled bringing your hands up as you shrugged “what are you doing here?” Luke asked as he rubbed his eyes trying to see if he was dreaming or not as he looked at you “you really thought I’d let you get drafted without me here?” You laughed as you shook your head.

What you two didn’t notice was that Jack and Quinn were watching “just hug her you idiot!” Jack groaned as he rolled his eyes waiting to see you hug his brother. Luke didn’t wait for another second as he pulled you into a hug where he continued kissing your head like if he didn’t you would disappear.

The point was that through everything, even the draft, you were there. Even when you were both applying to university you were together.

It was a warm morning when you and Luke hopped onto a FaceTime call “you got your college?” You asked tucking your hair behind your ears as you smiled looking at him. You were in one of his old sweaters as you bounced your legs waiting for him to answer “yep.” He nodded shutting his door as you two agreed to only tell each other about your university applications until you accepted one.

Your moms agreed that it might sway your decisions about where you were going to go if you each knew what the other was doing “promise you wont get sad if I’m not at your college?” You teased making him scoff “I made peace with you not coming to Michigan months ago.” Luke rolled his eyes as your face dropped.

When you didn’t respond it made him raise his eyebrows “you didn’t apply to Michigan did you?” He blinked as you nodded “Umich.” You really didn’t remember the last time that Luke cheered the way that he did hearing you say that “me too!” It was one of those moments that you two seriously wished you were together so you could celebrate this.

Everyone laughed upon hearing the news that you and Luke were finally going to be back together. You were happy to have him back in your life sure. It was great having him back to only being a couple of minutes away from you. But what you never could have taken into account was that you would develop feelings for him.

Sure everyone predicted that it would eventually happen. Even Jack and Quinn were smart enough to know that this was on the cards for you and their brother. But not even having it in big bright letters would have made you believe it. Lo and behold though you were in the midst of watching your love grow strained as Luke found himself trying to get with other girls.

Every party came with Luke flirting with a new girl as he fully lived out his time as a college boy. It was clear he never wanted to settle down. With each new girl who took his attention it only seemed to land up with you hurt. And to top it all off Luke couldn’t even bother to pick up on it “you deserve better peach.” Ethan sighed as he pushed off of the wall to see you quietly nursing a beer.

It made you stare at the ground as you shook your head “doesn’t matter when it’s not what I want.” You had turned down every guy who looked at you since April of your freshman year. You thought that if you showed Luke that you wanted him then maybe, just maybe he would want you too “maybe you’re looking in the wrong place.” Ethan shrugged wanting you to see that you were wanted by someone who was right in front of you.

But as Luke’s laughter echoed in your ears you couldn’t help but shake your head “this is stupid.” You chewed at the inside of your cheek “I’m gonna go.” Ethan watched as you went to leave “let’s to do something tomorrow.” His offer made a smile form of your face.

You nodded as he squeezed your shoulder “I’ll text you the details then.” Ethan announced as if he didn’t already have something planned for his time with you.

The boys were leaving for Tampa the next day so of course the moment the final skate ended Luke was back in your dorm as he sat on your bed helping you get ready for this date. All of the dresses in your closet weren’t worthy as Luke stayed stolen for way too long before muttering something along the lines of “it’s okay.” Before he would point out something he didn’t like about it “since when do you dislike my entire closet?” You scoffed as Luke bought you two of the dresses that he had turned down.

Luke felt bile rise into his throat as he shook his head remembering how the last two hugged your body in all of the right places. It looked a little too good on you for Luke to even consider letting you wear it. If it was up to Luke he would have burnt the red satin fabric so nothing could see you in it again “why do you even care about looking good for Ethan?” Last night when he got back to the house Luke was less than impressed to hear about how Ethan was taking his best friend out.

The one and only rule Luke made the team agree to was that you were meant to be off limits. It had always been the rule amongst his teammates as Luke knew what some guys were like and you deserved better than that “I want to look good for myself.” You corrected him as you had been raised on the idea that dressing up for yourself meant more than dressing up for a guy who didn’t want you.

You hated how quiet Luke was as he sat cross legged on your bed with your duck plushy on his lap. Quacky was something he won for you when you guys were seven at the town fair. Quinn joked that it was your guys’ first chance at being parents to your child. At the time it was something that you brushed off as the sheer thought of becoming a mom especially to Luke’s kids. It actually made you laugh when you looked back on it, going from thinking that the boy had cooties to now having your world revolve around him had you feeling sick.

As you stared at Quacky, Luke couldn’t help but let his mind come out in the form of word vomit “if I didn’t know any better I’d say you like Ethan.” Luke teased watching the color drain from your face. It was the way that the smug look sat perched proudly on his face yet in actuality he was so far away from the truth that you almost wanted to laugh “not him.” You shook your head raking your fingers through your hair.

That answer made Luke feel sick as he raised his eyebrows trying to mask his surprise “is it Luca?” It was clear that the Fantilli boy had always had a thing for you from the moment he met you. The way he left himself tongue tied after most attempts to talk to you had everyone laughing in amusement as they teased him, well everyone but you did and Luke thought he finally knew the reason behind it.

You couldn’t help but pinch the bridge of your nose “Rutger is a guy that could be your type too.” Luke thought aloud as he nodded to himself remembering the times you went for tall blonde guys “no god dammit!” You snapped finally hitting your palm flat against your table as you rolled your eyes. You had to chew at the inside of your cheek in an effort to stop the tears from rolling in.

Part of you refused to let Luke see you like that and the other part of you knew you wouldn’t have enough time to fix your makeup. Once you let your floodgates open you knew they weren’t going to shut.

An irritated laugh left your lips as Luke clearly scanned your face as he grew concerned by your outbreak "you're the one I like!" You blurted out for the first time in your life leaving Luke absolutely speechless. It was crazy how five words could do that to someone you have known your entire life, the one person who is meant to know you better than you know yourself is left with their lips sealed shut and their eyes wide. As if that wasn't meant to bring you comfort already you instead opted to dig the hole you were forming around yourself deeper "which I don't know why I am telling you because it's not like you have even noticed it as you've got your head shoved so far up these girls asses that I'm pretty sure you could see the light of day if you looked hard enough." The efforts you made to not cry were officially thrown out of the window as you raised the back of your hand to wipe your cheek.

Still Luke didn't know what to say, honestly a little surprised that you felt so strongly about the girls he saw "which kills me because you really are a great guy but you aren't letting anyone, even yourself see it anymore!" You were going through an emotional roller coaster similar to grief as you now found yourself getting angry "Ethan saw that I was upset at the party and he said we should go out." Your words finally made sense to him as Luke finally found comfort in the fact that you were going out with one of his best friends in just under thirty minutes.

Your fists clenched as the boy remained silent now staring at the floor as he processed your confession making the room feel heavy "would you just say something please?" You begged as you went to touch his shoulder but the boy was quicker as he pulled away "I-I-I need to think." Luke shook his head as he got up, his ears were ringing and his skull felt like it was closing in on his brain. He was waiting for you to say that this was some kind of sick prank, some kind of joke. Like the YouTube videos where someone jumps out of the bushes with a camera, they reveal that it was all just some big setup.

But as tears streamed down your face and your lip began to quiver Luke felt the pit form in his stomach as reality sunk in. You were in love with him "I'm sorry." Luke didn't know what he was meant to say as he pushed past you when he went for the door of your dorm. He didn't dare look back as he could feel the sound of your sobs attack his heartstrings. Through your blurred vision, you reached for your phone when you collapsed onto the floor needing to call someone, literally anyone to talk to you. But in that moment you knew there was only one person that you could have spoken to "Ethan?" It wasn't clear why you were so hurt by this. You had prepared yourself for rejection as you knew you weren't Luke's type.

Yet even as you had done that, it still wasn't enough. That day Luke hadn't rejected you, but he also didn't tell you he felt the same way. It left you feeling like you were in this awful state of limbo going back and forth between the two options. But not even four days on, Luke no longer needed to tell you how he felt.

The radio silence and the message that you had to get from one of his brothers sealed his feelings towards you practically on the dotted line.

quinny 🧸: what do you think about Luke going to Jersey?

[miniy00ng1]

Die With A Smile

Five Hargreeves x Female!Reader

wc: 1447 (not proofread)

warnings: swearing, death, lmk if i missed anything!

find my masterlist here

hiii lovelies! i absolutely love the song die with a smile and felt it fit super well with tua, so this is the outcome. i actually had two separate ending ideas for this fic, so if you'd like me to release the alternate ending (it's a happy ending) lmk in the comments. as usual pls ignore any grammar errors and i hope you enjoy! thank you <3

-----------------------------------

The Hargreeves Siblings and their families are gathered in the broken down Umbrella Academy. After fighting the giant hybrid monster, Ben and Jennifer, that is consuming everything and everyone in its path, the siblings are trying to come up with a plan of action. 

Five, your husband, has disappeared back to the subway station where he spent several years trapped with you with little hope on finding a way back home. He left in hopes to find something that he might’ve overlooked, a solution to the cleanse. He left you behind to help care towards his injured siblings and in hopes that you could be the brains while he was gone. 

“How the hell do we beat a thing that keeps getting stronger and bigger everytime we try and fight it?” Diego asks in exasperation. The siblings pace the living area trying to figure out how to beat the monster. “It’s only a matter of time before it consumes everything and the world ends…again.” Viktor states matter-of-factly.

At this time, Five blinks into the living room and his eyes immediately finds yours–there’s a look in his eyes of realization and acceptance. You get off the couch and make your way to him, interlocking fingers and giving his hand a comforting squeeze.

“I went back to the subway station and had a very long and strange conversation with me…well multiple mes. But anyways, we are the reason why all of this is happening,” Five continues to explain to his siblings how they should have never existed but they do and that they have caused a shattered timeline. “That must’ve been what Ben was trying to show me back at the department store, he showed me the original timeline. He was trying to tell me that maybe, the cleanse isn’t a bad thing.” Viktor says, recalling the serene scene that was the original timeline. 

Five recaptures his siblings’ attention, “We have to let the Durango merge with the Cleanse. It’s the only way to fix the timeline…” “And what happens to us?” “We cease to exist.” Five replies to Diego’s question, leaving everyone in the room too stunned to speak.

“Absolutely not Five,” Your words come out shaky, “There’s got to be another way.” “Yeah! I’m with Y/N. It turns out, I don’t actually like dying all that much.” Klaus says agreeing with you. Five looks at you with hurt in his eyes, he would never willingly leave you but there’s no other way to save the world. “Y/N, I’ve been through every possible outcome, there’s nothing we can do to stop this. My siblings and I should’ve never existed in the first place. We don’t belong here, we never did.” Your eyes well up with tears, “But you guys do belong, you’re my family, you’re my love Five. If you’re not here, I don’t belong in the timeline either.” Five shakes his head at your words.

“What about our families Five? What happens to them if we cease to exist? Diego asks glancing towards to other room where his children reside. “I’m not sure.” Five says defeated while tightening his grip on your hand. The siblings look at each other unsure of what to do. Allison sits up from the couch, still clutching her stomach from her injuries, “What about that train station? Can you bring them there? Y/N could go with them and make sure they’re safe since she’s been to the station before.” Before Five can answer, Claire enters the room, rushing to her mom.

Five brings you to the side of the room for a little bit of privacy. No words are exchanged as he pulls you into his embrace, his face in the crook of your neck, holding you tight as if you would disappear from his arms. You feel your neck dampen, this is your breaking point. Tears stream down your cheeks as you push your face into Five’s chest, trying to get as close to him as possible. Sobs rack your body, you begin to hiccup as your breathing becomes uneven. 

Five tries to pull away to get you to breathe. You sob harder pulling him tighter, “Just hold me for a little while longer. Please Five, just hold me.” Five responds by cradling you in his arms, placing a gentle kiss on you head, “I’m so sorry Y/N. I love you so much. I wish there was another way.”

The Umbrella Academy is a mess of emotions as the siblings say goodbye to their loved ones and accept their fate. You stand with Claire and Lila and Diego’s family waiting for Five to blink you to the subway station. You wave to the siblings that you have grown to know and love so much. Five grabs your hand and blinks the group out of the house. 

“Okay everyone, follow me onto the train, we’re going on a little trip!” You try to put a fake smile on your face to ease the nerves of Diego and Lila’s children. You guide the group onto the train, ensuring that everyone got on before you. After stepping on you turn to face the train door, Five is standing there with a sad smile on his face. The only thing separating you two is a solid yellow line on the platform. The strange announcement that you’ve heard a number of times before goes off over the PA system. You’re heart begins to race, the doors are going to close any second now and this will be the last time you ever see Five. He continues to stare at you.

The doors begin to make noise, signalling that they’re going to close. Your eyes quickly glance between the closing doors and Five. Five’s eyes widen as he realizes what you’re about to do but it’s too late to stop you. Five instead catches you as you stumble into his arms, “What did you just do Y/N?” “I told you earlier Five, you’re my everything. Wherever you go, I’ll follow. If you’re not with me in the original timeline…what’s the point? The world is ending, I want to be next to you.”

Upon your return to the Umbrella Academy, the Hargreeves are shocked to say the least. “Are they safe? Did they make it?” Lila bombards you with questions. You nod in response and she wraps you in her arms, thanking you. “So…what do we do now? Should we say our favorite moments with each other?” Luther asks awkwardly, shifting his weight from foot to foot as nerves surge through his body. Everybody shoots down Luther’s ideas and elects to just sit and wait. 

You and Five are seated on a couch, he holds you tight. He wouldn’t say it but he was scared shitless. You read him like a book and bring your lips to his ear, “It’ll be okay Love. I’m right here with you and I wouldn’t change my decision.” He turns his head to look at you and gives you a kiss that says everything he needs to. 

Suddenly, a shrill screech and crash can be heard outside the house. “You guys! I think he’s coming and I don’t think he’s happy.” Luther calls out while looking at the large monster approaching. Five grips your hand and stands up at the announcement. You and the Hargreeves move away from the window and form a circle on the other side of the living room. The monster hybrid’s tentacle-like appendages bust throught the glass window by the front door first. Then the window by the main stairway. In no time the tentacles were approaching the siblings from every angle.

“Relax and just let it do what it wants.” Five calls out to his siblings as the tentacles begin to reach their feet. Five looks at your intertwined hands and smiles, “I know I was a hardass, but I really do love you guys, as much as you do drive me crazy.” “Ew Five, I know we’re dying or whatever but don’t get all sappy on us now.” Lila says with fake disgust. “Thank you for letting me be in your crazy family. I love you guys so much.” You chime in, a tear slipping down your face. Lila reaches out to grab your left hand. Tears are now streaming down everyones faces as they hold hands with one another. The tentacles now enveloping up to their stomachs and climbing higher and higher.

You turn your head to look at Five and he mirrors your movements. It is now up to your chin and before you world goes dark, you’re able to make out Five’s final three words–said with a smile.

taglist:

@ohmyitsfaith @clairoscharm

[schoenpepper]

Like Raven Feathers

Intro: Riddle does something against the rules. And because of that, he'll fall from Heaven, oh he'll fall, just for you.

Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, proofread by quillbot, Riddle's mom is mentioned, lots of religious whatever, bro's a simp through and through

A/N: Lookie what I whipped up with a random dose of motivation. Riddle's not even in my top five faves so I'm not sure why the first full fic I'll ever post is one about him. This has no effect on my Isekai'd Chronicles series update schedule, but it does share the same universe so go check it out if you're confused.

Masterlist

Riddle has always lived his life by the Bible of the Church of Light. Every movement is according to scripture, and every choice is made under the guidance of his mother, the Saintess. Since she has the highest authority in Heaven and is the angel closest to the God of Light, surely she's correct in all that she does. Surely he's correct to follow her. He would keep his wings pure and abide by every rule; no one likes a fallen acolyte of Light.

In this little circle, he's safe.

He wakes up at sunrise every day and prays. He does as is taught to him: give his thanks for every blessing and apologize for every failure, for every sin, and for every wrong he's committed. Most days, he doesn't know why he's begging for forgiveness. Today, he does. "Forgive me, oh Lord of Light," Riddle mumbles piously under his breath. "I have done something unbecoming of your servant. I have developed…feelings, for a mortal nonetheless. I have given away the love that rightfully belongs to you. Please have mercy and forgive this poor soul."

He never says a word about repenting.

After ten minutes of prayer, he makes his bed, takes a bath, straightens out his feathers, and brushes his teeth. Then it's time to double-check all the items he needs for classes and ensure that he's done all the assignments necessary for each day. He has breakfast with the rest of his dormitory members after giving thanks to his Lord for the food. There's another prayer after eating.

Another careless apology leaves his lips.

Classes go by far too slowly for his liking. When he sits at the cafeteria for lunch, his blue-gray eyes search for the mortal that's been in his mind for far too long, far too often. They light up when he finds you.

There's you beyond his circle, just out of reach.

Riddle isn't shy when he asks you to spend lunch with him. When you agree with a smile, his heart seems to beat faster than before. Too fast for his brain to keep up with. He's short of breath around you; you make him unable to even think. He's like an electronic toy short-circuiting in water. That's what you are, after all—strange, unfamiliar territory he isn't allowed to traverse. But even the first angels fell to temptation, so who is he to be the exception?

You're the sweetest forbidden fruit.

He has to go back to class eventually, but he hates that he does. That's weird, that's wrong; he's Riddle Rosehearts, and studies should be his priority after his God. But his hand is out of his control when he doodles little hearts on the border of his notebook (why would he do that? It's so childish, so immature.).

After class, he sends you a text to ask you to study with him in the library. Alone, preferably, because your friends always raise a ruckus (that's the excuse he tells you and himself). He feels content, happy, when you show up by yourself. The two of you sit across from each other, and he reviews topics for you that he still remembers clearly from his first year. Riddle finds it fun. Perhaps some would call it tedious, but he thinks that you're a worthy use of his time. He gets paid by the way you pout when you're struggling with a question. He feels fulfilled when you smile that bright smile, all teeth showing, eyes squinted into crescents, when you claim to finally understand something you've been struggling with for a while. He thinks he can die happy in your arms when you hug him in excitement and thank him for tutoring you.

You trespass into his little circle.

He packs up too soon because you have some commitment with some other person; he's alone in the library now. He sees the way other people look at you. You're just so uniquely you; he understands they want you the way he does. It doesn't mean he'll relent his efforts to snake his way into your heart. You're something he desperately wants, needs, even.

He's envious of the way other people make you laugh. Riddle's never been the humorous type (do you like that type better?). He's too strict, too strait-laced. Maybe you don't think he's fun, or cool, or interesting. Do you even think of him at all?

He still can't touch you.

When he's back at the dorm, he spends the rest of his time buried in his assignments. Perhaps getting you off his mind is the best thing he can do today. He's unproductive when you're the only thing on his mind, so he buries you underneath mountains of schoolwork.

Why can't he reach you?

He lays in bed after another prayer. The same apology is said. He can't even bother to change it. At some point, he'll stop asking for forgiveness. Some time in the future, he'll only confess his love for you in his daily prayers without being sorry for it. Falling in love with a mortal is wrong. Praying insincerely is wrong. But you, you, oh, you're everything that's right in this sinful world. His mother will never understand him.

But the God of Light will.

Because he doesn't even know when it started, but you've become his light. He fears for the darkness that will swallow him when you're gone.

Don't choose someone else. Don't find someone else. Don't love someone else.

He'll leave his circle on his own.

And when the angel falls, he'll make sure he goes out with the most glorious fireworks.

With you.

[sunflowervoltwentyeight]

Happy 28th! Here is my June 2024 fic rec, organized by word count, from longest to shortest. You can view my other fic recs here. Enjoy!

Oxford AU Series by stylinsoncity / @aliensingucci (130k)

Come As You Are  (77k) “I think it could be like this all the time,” Harry says. “I know it doesn’t make sense but I think you should consider it. I could make you happy if you let me.”  louis is a professor of literature at oxford and harry is his newest and most eager protege. both are caught in a story about forbidden love, loss and second chances, in which one is on the brink of heartbreak and the other comes along when he's needed most. Overwhelmingly You (47k) more reflections post-oxford. Notes on Oxford (5k) glimpses at life before, during and beyond oxford, in no particular order

Satellite by suspendrs / @suspendrs (100k)

“It’s been three years since I’ve had a proper hot meal,” Louis says finally. “I have no idea where my family is, or if any of them are even still alive. The only reason I’ve been able to keep myself alive for as long as I have is because I keep to myself, stay guarded, stay hidden. It’s the only way I know how to live,” he says.

Harry wants to cry, but he tries to put on a brave face when Louis finally meets his eyes. “You’re safe here. You don’t have to be so guarded around me,” Harry says quietly, earnestly.

 “That’s very sweet of you,” Louis says, putting his fork down. “But yes I do. Especially around you.”

Or, Louis needs a house. Harry offers him a home.

Just Pretend by kingsofeverything / @kingsofeverything (90k)

Louis Tomlinson is a divorced dad who doesn't date. What free time he has, he likes to spend with his teenage daughter, and if he wants to take someone home, he does it when she's spending the weekend with her mom.

Then he meets Harry Styles, another divorced dad with a teenage daughter, who convinces him it’s a good idea to pretend they're dating to keep their kids happy.

Into The Midnight Sun by summerwine @smrwine (63k)

Every day without Louis was a never ending blue Monday. Every day went without his sweetness and warmth and the radiant colours of his flame. The tenor of his voice became unfamiliar and muddled between going so long without the sound of it and getting lost with every other voice clouding Harry’s memory.But he was here now, warming Harry’s bones with lips like summer. Every moment in his arms felt like a Sunday stroll through London. Beautiful and stormy and feeling every bit like home. or, It's 1983, Harry embarks on his first world tour and Louis is a budding actor in LA. Life spent apart isn't easily adjustable, but somehow they make it work.

Everything of Mine Is Yours by blueskiesrry / @blueskiesrry (33k)

"Did you two have a good time?”

Harry in his bathroom, brushing his teeth with frizzy hair and tired eyes. Harry on the couch cuddled up with Posy, cradling her in the crook of his elbow, humming a soft song. Harry laughing with his friends in a pub on a Friday night, a flower field in his eyes. Harry in his bed tucked under the covers, naked against fresh sheets like a shock of moonlight cutting through a storm.

“Yeah,” he says. “We did.”

or: With Harry in New York finishing up his PhD and Louis in London working as a solicitor, they try to navigate their eight year situationship including almost-daily phone calls, the occasional indulgence of casual phone sex, and endless gossip sessions as the feelings they have for each other get harder to ignore.

Changing Weather (For Worse or For Better) by haztobegood / @haztobegood (3k)

Five times it's raining and one time it stops.

Spoon Time by shiptattou / @wecantalktomorrow (2k)

There was nothing going on between them outside of the normal bro-pal-laddy-dude things every other set of best friends did. All sets of best friends did things like this. You know, hanging out every day, staying up late, and chatting until the wee hours which usually ended up as a sleepover and bed-sharing. There is nothing going on between them.

That is what Harry was going to keep telling himself and everyone around them, anyway because it is the truth, after all.

[dullgecko]

(Amendment to ask just sent in about Riz collapsing)

Imagine if Riz got sick during that time.

(My brain is obsessed with making Riz sick - probably because it forces him to stop working)

Previous ask they're talking about (Sklonda dies in the fire freshman year scenario)

Riz is living in Seacaster manor, not paying any rent and getting all his food covered and he feels like he sort of OWES Fabian. Cathilda is in Laviathan, Gilear and Halariel go on their year long vacation and Fabian does NOT know how to do ANYTHING housework related.

Riz was more or less looking after his own 'chores'. Keeping his room and bathroom tidy, doing his own laundry, would cook on occasion because he really couldn't abide Cathilda cooking ALL his meals for him she's already doing so much. He sees Fabian straight up incapable of doing any of that himself and just... steps in and does it for him.

Fabian doesnt even notice. For starters he's mostly tuned out chores as sort of background noise his whole life so when the dirty clothes hamper in his bathroom empties itself at the end of the week and all his things are folded and neat in his cupboard again it doesnt even register straight away... and when it does he just chalks it up to a magic hamper?

His bathroom is clean when he wakes up in the morning sometimes, and if they dont order in take away using he tablet (which Riz ACTUALLY knows how to use, so they're not eating JUST fried rice all year) there's usually a sandwich and cut up fruit waiting for him in the fridge if Riz has already gone to school early for club stuff.

It also comes down to Riz just being stupidly stealthy. He gets in super late from club stuff, wanders around the house doing chores and laundry and doesn't even wake Fabian up, then gets stuck in with his study and homework.

Fabians junior year is a LOT LESS stressful and Riz's is... infinitly more so. He's getting so little sleep trying to keep up on all this shit (he NEEDS those scholarships, the insurance payout from his moms death is only going to go so far) and there's no one to really tell him to chill out and get more sleep.

Riz is loosing weight from the stress, it's triggering the stress induced vomiting reactions he used to get in freshman year, and he keeps getting nose bleeds. Kid is running on fumes.

Fabian notices that his clothes are gone from the hamper early one morning but they're not folded back in his cupboard, weird because the magic hamper hasn't malfunctioned like that before. He also doesnt have any lunch in the fridge, and some of the garbage he left in the bathroom is still there.

He goes to complain about all this shit apparently breaking at once to Riz but doesn't find him in his room, which is weird because yesterdays homework is still on his desk and his little suit is hanging up in the closet. Must be still in the house somewhere then, so Fabian goes looking. When he doesnt find him in any of the living rooms or kitchens or any of the normal places they hang out he starts looking in more obscure places.

Eventually he finds him in the laundry (honestly, Fabian has never BEEN in this room so he's surprised when he finds it). There's blood on his face and on the floor but its long dried, there's a half-folded pile of laundry on the little halfling height bench and another stack knocked onto the floor surrounding the passed out goblin. Needless to say, Kristen gets a VERY paniced call from Fabian at half-past five in the morning.

[the-ace-with-spades]

another bit from the just hold my hand fic that probably won't ever be written

I wrote the little thingy about Bradley and Jake's middle kid, Ronnie, being a bit of Ice's favorite, and Mav might have a bit of a soft spot for PJ, their youngest (so far...) boy because of the shared name and the overall cuteness and clinginess PJ has.

But it's the twins, the oldest girls, Tommy and Nicky, that have everyone wrapped around their fingers.

This is mostly due to that one) they can speak, being almost six and all, two) they speak a lot and it's hard to keep up, and three) Mav and Ice missed the most out of their childhood, the over five years they didn't know Tommy and Nicky existed, so they might be overdoing it on spoiling them a little bit to catch up... (Or a lot, if you ask Bradley or Jake)

The thing is, the girls are starting school and with that, they meet new friends and this means new obsessions and things they want - it's mostly just trendy clothes, toys that they've never been interested in and dance and gymnastics classes, but nonetheless, it's something else.

Bradley and Jake are mostly good at fending off unnecessary or expensive requests and agreeing to the more reasonable ones (same as Jake's mom, who is used to having to budget for a lot of kids wants, being a mom of six herself), with Jake being the firmer hand on this occasion - Bradley was the one who stayed on parental leave with the kids when they were small and has a bit more of soft hand when it comes to spoiling them...

One of the things Nicky and Tommy get obsessed with is getting a puppy.

Obviously, Jake and Bradley say no. Not because they think a puppy would be bad for their family - Jake grew up with farm dogs and would love his kids to grow up with a dog - but because the logistics are a bit tough. There's already so much to do with four kids and more on the way, and dogs need a lot of attention as well. They're stationed in San Diego, for now, but it can also change, and it's hard enough trying to move a family of seven, not to mention a family of seven and a dog.

Now, Tommy and Nicky aren't blind to how much their grandpas are spoiling them. So they might or might not be especially vocal about wanting a dog around them. Maybe even suggest that they'd like a puppy for Christmas or something and just tell them about all the stuff they'd do with a puppy if they got one.

Of course Mav and Ice fall for it.

They're not as crazy as to buy/adopt a puppy for the kids without at least telling Bradley, and Bradley, you know, teases them a little for being so soft and letting themselves get 'manipulated' by six-year-olds but in the end, he tells them there's no way they can have a puppy now, no matter how much the girls want one.

The same night, Ice finds Mav browsing animal rescue sites on the couch, laptop on his knees as he makes notes in a little notebook.

Bradley said no, he signs, but Mav only shrugs.

"I know," Mav says and then pointedly, adds, "I'm not looking for a dog for them."

It takes Ice a minute to understand what Mav means but once he does, he sits down with him on the couch.

And it's not like Mav is looking for a dog just for the twins - he and Ice will be taking care of the puppy most of the time, and Mav admits that a dog is something he hasn't let himself have because of the life they were living (in the Navy, mainly) but he's retired now, and he had a dog when he was a kid and like it, and maybe it'll get Ice out of the house more often as well...

So, yeah, they get a french bulldog. And the kids love her - she was a rescue from a puppy farm and named Katharine Hepburn (called Hep by the breeders) and the kids swiftly rename her Kat, which everyone finds a bit silly but indulges.

Maybe Jake and Bradley give them a bit of a stinky eye over dinner (mostly Jake, not that Mav cares that much...), but Bradley only shakes his head and tells them they can't keep getting the kids everything they want. Well, personally Mav thinks they can at least try.

Kat is an amazing addition to the house. She likes to sleep in Ice's lap whenever he does paperwork in his office and prompts him for breaks when she begs for a walkie every few hours. She also makes them go out on walks on the beach or to the park more often and whenever the kids are there, she glows at the attention - they always keep an eye just in case the kids get a bit rough with her, but she's very patient and never gets bored enough to stop playing with them and lets the twins carry her around in her little bag. She gets plenty of exercise and affection and quality food and Mav also has someone to keep him company when he makes breakfast in the morning or someone to keep Ice's cold feet away from his calves at night. The twins like to buy her little cute accessories and feed her healthy snacks and take her out to the dog park. It's a win-win in Mav's head.

Kat is great and if her presence makes the twins want to visit more often - that's just another bonus.

[def-not-kaz-brekker]

no no but monster is probably my favorite epic song because ooohhhh myyyy goooddddd it’s like the entirety of the musical so far has been building up to this

Like “is the cyclops struck with guilt when he kills, is he up in the middle of the night? Or does he kill my men to avenge his friend and sleep, knowing he has done ‘em right”?? like in ‘my goodbye’, (end of cyclops saga) Odysseus is already having trouble sleeping (“what’s a title that a goddess could lend, if I’ll never sleep at night?”) LIKE OKAY JAY OKAY

“when the witch turns men to pig to protect her nymphs is she going insane? Or did she learn to get colder, when she got older, and now she spares them the pain”?? Odysseus references how long it’s been, time passing, in ‘there are other ways’ (“but it’s been twelve long years”)

“When a god comes down and makes a fleet drown, is he scared that he’s doing something wrong? Or does he keep us in check so we must respect him, and now no one dares to piss him off?” Pretty obvious; in ‘ruthlessness’ when poseidon says “in all my years of living, it isn’t very often that I get pissed off”

“Does a soldier use a wooden horse to kill sleeping Trojans because he is vile? Or does he throw away his remorse to save more lives with guile?” tbh I’m not sure on this one but could be Odysseus’ internal turmoil in general ORRRR the fact that he decided to drop the baby from the walls of Troy to save his family (“save more lives with guile”)

AND THEN AND THEN [agh I love this song so much]

The “ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves… and deep down I know this well” BROTHER YOU HAVE ME ON MY KNEES

“I lost by best friend, I lost my mentor, my mom, five hundred men gone— this can’t go on!” JFC

“I must get to see Penelope and Telemachus!” ALWAYS THE SAME WAY OF SINGING THEIR NAMES OH MY GOD THIS KILLS ME

“so if we must sail through dangerous OCEANS AND BEACHES, ILL GO WHERE POSEIDON WONT REACH US, AND IF I GOTTA DROP ANOTHER INFANT FROM A WALL IN AN INSTANT SO WE ALL DONT DIE—“ dead, oh my god.

I have a lot of feelings about this and feel free to add more thoughts on this

[deatheatet]

I've seen a lot of "IF PAZ LIVED AU" and she always joins the Na'vi but here are my opinions for it (headcannons sort of)

Paz stayed behind because Quaritch lied about when they were leaving so she was with spider when they left (She was cussing him like a dog in Spanish,when he got back it was gonna be 10 times worse)

But he didn't come back instead standing with Parker and the science pukes with her son in her hip inside hells gate,here come's Jake Sully and his little native wife as well as others

She didn't know what was going on but she looked for Quaritch for 10 minutes before Parker walked over to her

"I-.... I'm sorry Paz" and handed her the Colonel's dog tags

Paz stared at the tags for a second or two before she tilted her head back and looked back at the tags her hand over her mouth crying, something she never did in front of anyone but Miles

Jake had watched with a curious look because he didn't know what her connection was to Quaritch

Paz laid with little spider cuddling to her chest holding on to her dog tags that night

Mo'at met Paz visiting Hells Gate with Jake one day and was horrified to learn that Jake intended to put spider in cryo when it could kill him to send him back to earth

She fought Jake, Neytiri,Arwkey,and others to let Paz stay because she had her daughter taken from her,she would NOT willingly put another mother through having to leave or lose her child,after Jake suggested sending Paz back only to send spider back when he was older

In the end Arwkey's mate,Inkeyni and her mate,and most elder's sided with Mo'at,Jake Sully could not force Paz Socorro and her son to leave Pandora

Paz later got a visit from Jake after he had discovered she was Quaritch's lover and Baby Mama

Paz after hearing one worthless, absolutely Pathetic, severely insincere apology from Jake told him to get the fuck out before she shot him

When Jake turned to leave she said this

"You wanna know my babies name Sully? It's Miles Sully. I named him after his daddy"

Jake was pissed and sure Paz had just named him that to get under his skin... It worked better than he wished

But after the war and Jake figures out Neytiri is pregnant.. he usually was found most nights at late hours getting drunk with Paz,the only other person who would understand his thoughts, even though they hated each other

Paz made sure her son knew everything his daddy did but wasn't one sided with it like the Na'vi who said he was a monster while Paz accurately said he did bad things for the right reason and spider agreed with Paz

Spider met Kiri and since he couldn't say it right called her "Kitty" for the first five years of knowing her

Paz loved Kiri because she was a sweetheart little girl who didn't shun her son for being a demon

Paz also will refer to Kiri as Miha or Mi Nina my daughter and my girl

Paz first met Lo'ak while he was trying to show Jake a picture of an Ikran he drew but Jake had gotten very annoyed with it and hissed at Lo'ak to leave him alone for 5 seconds while he did something

Paz had gotten very pissed at Jake but walked over and asked Lo'ak if he would show her his picture which he did and Paz asked if she could keep it because it was so pretty. Lo'ak happily said yes and was all smiles the rest of the day

But the harder Jake and Neytiri got on Lo'ak as he got older the more he drifted to Paz as an affectionate parental figure.

Accidentally called her Mama in English once after getting in trouble for fighting by Jake and Jake Jerking a knot in his tail (Not literally but you get the drift)

Paz was very upset as to why he freaked out so badly about an accident but told him if he wanted to call her Mama he could

He did so often and Kiri seeing the very clear favoritism her parents showed her and Neteyam and Tuk she drifted away some as well.

Kiri calls Paz Sanu(Mom/Mama) and calls Jake and Neytiri Sempul(Father) and Sanok(Mother)

Lo'ak calls them the same thing

Paz has a scrap book with pictures of her and spider,her and Lo'ak and her and Kiri. The kids made a full page for her birthday they planned themselves

Lo'ak wrote under a picture of him being hugged by her after getting his Ikran " Happy Birthday Mama❤️"

Kiri wrote under a picture of her hugging Paz's shoulders and leaning over her shoulder on the side "I love you Sanu" and "Happy Birthday Sanu" below it

And spider wrote under a picture of her hugging his shoulders from behind with her head on top of his "I love you Mami"

Paz also calls Lo'ak Miho and Mi nino like she does spider

Lo'ak and spider came back from the village one day after getting hit and not fighting back. Paz said this

" I don't give one flying fuck if Sully gets mad someone lays a hand on you or Kiri and Tuk you put them flat on their ass and make damn sure to hurt'em"

Argued and won against Jake afterwards

Mo'at and Paz became very close due to understanding each other very well

Paz and Kiri have weekly girl sleepovers and girl talks mostly about boys and men that are hot (Paz The men of the clan/Unmated) Kiri usually spider is her number 1(Paz knew about the crushes before they started) would talk about boys who had already passed the rites of passage (Ikeniyi's clan). She thought they were more attractive and mature than her clan.

Paz was the first person Kiri told when a boy from Ikeniyi's clan started courting her(Right after she got her Ikran) Paz threatened him within an inch of his life

Okay I think I've been at this for way to long now so any readers I apologize for making you read so much but vote please

Also feel free to suggest or request a one-shot from me

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for keeping a huge secret from my mom?

so i (26ftm) moved back in with my parents a little over a year ago due to the housing market. shakes fist at sky. you know how it is. anyways, uh, while i may be a broke zillennial, my parents are fairly financially well off, and it's in part due to my father's job. my mom recently retired and my father keeps saying he's going to retire, but still keeps pushing it off (and has been pushing it off for about a decade now).

now uh, shortly before i moved in, my mom was telling me that she was having problems with my father. that this was "the third time this had happened" and "this is his last chance" - i think you may see where i'm going with this. he was cheating. for the third time. and she'd caught him, got them to go to couples therapy, and told him there would be no fourth chance. she was willing to move out of the house and start anew somewhere else if she needed to.

um. enter me, the apple of my dad's eye. i move in. one night my mom is off at a book club so it's just me and him for dinner. he opens his phone (up til this point i've noticed he looks at his phone A Lot.) and opens up wechat. he's calling someone "babe" and sending them red heart emojis. i instantly feel kind of sick. i ask him, "are you texting mom?" and he gets SO confused for a second and says no (i don't think he knew i'd seen his phone screen).

that was almost a year ago today. since then i have seen him text this other woman nonstop, has talked about starting a family with her, has talked about taking her with him on his "work trips," and - for some reason - i've seen him google straight-up escort websites on his phone. uh, that one was while my mom and i were in the middle of showing him old family videos.

i feel so fucking guilty. every time i see him i want to [REDACTED DUE TO TUMBLR GUIDELINES]. i lost my therapist that i had known for five years in the move, i lost my entire support network, and i still haven't found anything like that up here. i am completely isolated, and while i have my own job right now, i am in no way financially stable enough to find my own place to live. if i tell my mom, i don't know what's going to happen to me. i don't know if she will kick him out or if she will move. i am trying to move back to where i was living, but i just can't afford it. i feel completely trapped in this situation, and i know what the right thing to do is, but i am terrified that on top of losing my entire life a year ago, i'm about to lose everything else, too.

a large part of me wants to confront my father first, but i am also terrified of him. i know i'm his favorite, but i am well aware of his temper, and while he's never physically harmed me, i feel like the situation might be a bit different if i'm the person that might get him divorced and ostracized from the entire family. i don't know. i honestly have no idea. everything is so confusing and i just have felt frozen for an entire year.

but the other night i saw him texting her again. she's mentioned she had been feeling sick lately and he told her that she might be pregnant. i was so close to losing it. i almost ripped his phone out of his hand and smashed it on the ground. i couldn't look him in the eye. i could barely even speak to him. maybe the funniest part about this is that he doesn't realize anything is wrong. he's a fucking narcissist and doesn't pay the slightest bit of attention to how other people act around him.

the next day, he was gone for another "work trip".

i am run completely ragged and i don't know how much longer i can take this. i find myself wishing someone else could take it out of my hands so that i don't have to be responsible for destroying our whole family.

anyways. am i the asshole for being a coward?

a bit of extra INFO as well though: as far as i'm aware, my parents are in a bit of a dead bedroom situation (frankly. my mom likes to oversshare.) so uh. at the very least i know she's not getting whatever diseases my dad surely must have by now.

What are these acronyms?

[heartstringsduet]

heartstringduet's fall reads. 🍂

(this list by no means is encompassing all the wonderful fics I read and that deserve everyone's thoughtful comments. I will do more lists soon though. You peeps are so amazing 😭.)

Currently WIPs 💕 i closed my eyes inside of your darkness (and found your glow) by falloutmars S: After losing his mom and moving states, TK finds comfort in a stranger who may need the comfort just as much. A story of loss, love, and learning to live again. I love how careful and tender the different ways of coping with grief are portrayed. Plus, Andrea runs a café, Carlos runs a book club and TK finds his way into being a paramedic.

You Keep Coming Back With A Bird In Your Teeth by vaguenotion S: When a gesture of goodwill is misinterpreted, a patient begins to develop a dangerous attachment to TK. The whole point of the job is to save patients, not to have to be saved FROM them. what can I say but that I chew my arm off each time this is updated. Absolutely love the characterizations, the dialogues and the goddamn tension.

your gentle hands are stained with the blood of anothers by @birdclowns S: Denton Miller was Carlos' first case after being promoted to detective. The serial killer has escaped, throwing Carlos and his loved ones into his game as the next unwilling participants. The stakes are impossibly higher and the rules have changed - it's his husband on the other side of the screen. Such a sucker for a kidnapping story and a cat-and-mouse game and Jasper masterfully strikes a line between scary and intimate i language and plot.

see a friend (see a ghost) by @ambiguouspenny S: TK would always come home to him. It was a dinner table promise wrapped in explicit truth; a vow Carlos would bet his life on. A choice made at the edge of tragedy leaves Carlos living in the aftermath. TK tries to make it right. Weeping, letting the vivid details and the mystery and punchy dialogue keep me up at night.

Where All This Love Comes From by @carlos-in-glasses

S: Six months after Gabriel Reyes’ death, TK grows concerned about Carlos’ drinking and brings him to a meeting at the Y. TK reflects on meeting Carlos after years of addiction and self-destruction, while Carlos has continued to seek closure by uncovering two unknowns: The identity of his father’s killer, and how his father truly felt about Carlos as his son. I recommend anyyything cig writes, because I'm hopelessly devoted to her writing. Anything I read by her is nuanced, poetic, so insightful and heart-wrenching. This only has one chapter but a dialogue that punched me right in the heart.

a long time ago (we used to be friends) by @welcometololaland

S: The exes to lovers, college sweethearts, murder mystery fic where the motto is: be gay, solve crime. I can always count on anything Lola writes to make me laugh and to have me in the throws and woes of my emotions. And this one is one of my favorites of her because I love how she writes them finding their way back into each others life.

Teach You How Forever Feels by @three-drink-amy

S: TK is left with custody of his five-year-old brother, Jonah. With Owen's encouragement, TK moves to Austin for a fresh start, questioning every move he makes as he's thrust into the role of parenthood. But it all leads him to Jonah's new school where he meets Carlos Reyes, the kindergarten teacher. It reads like a warm hug to see TK growing into the role of a parental figure and Carlos be a teacher and read both of them so gone over the other.

Finished Stories 💗 for if i'm going down, i'm taking you with me by @mooshkat and @thebumblecee S: For years now, the rivalry between the Reyes and Strand families has run strong. Since they were young, Carlos and TK have been warned to stay away from the other family and never trust each other, but what happens when a job forces them together? Two contract killers in an enemy-to-lovers scenario? Absolutely loved the journey of this (and the hot smut scenes let's be honest)

The Knave of Hearts . . . brought back the tarts by @liminalmemories21 S: TK exhales and picks up his glass. “The mind boggles. What did Matt want?” “Wanted to ask if I’d heard any rumors about a new art thief nosing around town for targets.” This entire universe of art lover (and former art thief) TK and detective Carlos is so intricate and never forgets to highlight their love even in in well-constructed plot!

to build a home by @freneticfloetry

S: Twenty-five years of chasing hope and happiness and the place where he belongs. Or: Carlos begins, and ends, and begins again, until he gets it right. My heart? Gone. This fic took it and ran with it. Seriously, one of the best character deep-dives I've ever read.

Under A Star Spell by @orchidscript

S: In which Carlos practices folk magic and TK, needing to rekindle something, finds himself on his doorstep. In which two people cross-paths, hope for one thing, and find something else altogether thanks to coffee, vanilla, hyssop, and mint.

The descriptions of Carlos practicing magic is seriously making me weep with jealousy. And the growing love between them in this and the sequel is magic itself.

When I’m Like This by @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

S: TK Strand hasn’t known Carlos Reyes for very long. He’s slept with him, run out on his attempt at getting to know him better, and been processed by him after an arrest. Despite all of that, TK can’t get over Carlos. When TK gets bad news at an NA meeting, he quickly starts to spiral, and there’s only one person he feels safe enough to run to. The absolute tenderness of this and the rawness of emotions just rubs me open in the best way on each re-read.

Love From the Other Side by @lightningboltreader S: It's Exes to Lovers in One Bed! After two years apart, TK & Carlos find themselves face to face at a three-day training event for Texas first responders. Flirting leads to passion, then misunderstanding and ultimately the heart to heart they've each been craving. The exes in a single bed fic we all need in our life! This has so much tension and made me so emotional at the same time.

Sunshine On My Body, Rainbows Bloomin' In My Skies by @lemonlyman-dotcom S: After Carlos’s bold claim about hiking the Great Wall, TK reveals he’d been an avid hiker before moving to Austin. TK & Carlos go for their first hike together, and maybe learn some new things about each other along the way. Such a beautifully written, funny and heartfelt story that feels like you're overgrown with ivy and the feeeels. A Helping Hand by @rmd-writes

S: When TK’s bathroom sink is flooding and he needs help, pronto, he turns to Grindr to find someone close by. But what happens when the best one night stand of his life walks in the door? Or, the Grindr meet-cute AU

I can always count on Rae to give me grade-a smut with a heap of unbound joy and this is no exception. 29 going 30 by @alrightbuckaroo

S: During a trip to New York City to celebrate TK turning 30, TK and Carlos stumble upon a list of things TK always wanted to do before he turned 30, all of them being references to romantic comedies he loved so much growing up.

Just a biiiig old love letter to both TK and Carlos, to New York and to turning older and making your old wished come true. The night before Halloween by @ladytessa74 S: Carlos and TK have faced many fears in their lives. But has that prepared them for everything? As they get ready to celebrate Halloween with five year old Elijah, monsters lurk in the shadows. The only way to overcome fear is to face it. Tarlos as parents aren't always for me but Tessa has changed my mind! Plus, a little spooky and wonderuflly plotted halloween story never hurt anybody - or would it? come what may, I'll still stay by @strandnreyes

S: Nearly one year into their marriage and TK finds that life looks a little different these days with Carlos working as a detective. He knows change happens, but when the missed dinners start to pile up and the change begins to feel like too much change, TK struggles with how to remind Carlos that life exists beyond his badge.

One of my all time favorites by Jen which is saying a LOT with how many she has blessed us with.

The Firehouse by @paperstorm S: In 2002, TK and Carlos meet in a third grade classroom in Manhattan. 21 years later they meet again, at a nightclub in Austin called The Firehouse. Split between their friendship in childhood and the path that should set them up as enemies, this is such a beautiful story of kinship and eternal love to me. I just adore how Andie writes TK and Carlos - in love in any and all universes.

[messedupfan]

Benefits of Car Troubles| 6

Summary: Jules relapse causes unwanted stress for Leigh and Y/n worries for her and the baby. And Y/n gets an unexpected visitor.

A/N: If you think you've read chapter 6 for this story before... No you didn't because I just posted it. This is chapter 6. Enjoy!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist | One Two Three Four Five

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thump, thump.

Thump, thump.

You smile as you hear the healthy heartbeat of the baby growing in Leigh’s womb from the speakers on the monitor. “I never get tired of hearing that,” you say as you hold Leigh's hand. The two of you are at another appointment to monitor the baby's growth and health. So far every appointment has gone smoothly and this one is no different. 

“I will say, in my thirty years as a doctor, I have never heard a stronger heartbeat than this one. The two of you should be proud,” the doctor says. And although you're sure she is just saying that to be nice, part of you wants to believe that your baby has the strongest heartbeat ever. 

“Thank you, doctor,” Leigh smiles as she sits up. “I have been under some stress lately and it relaxes me a bit to know that it's nothing he or she can't handle.” 

“Hold on now, stress is not good for either you or the baby. I highly recommend that, if you can of course, you remove yourself from any high stressors until after you give birth. Okay?” 

“Yes ma’am,” Leigh agrees as she wipes the gel off of her belly. 

“And you better help her,” the doctor says to you. 

“I will do my best, doc. Thank you,” you say as you help Leigh down from the observation bed. As you leave the office you can't help but be concerned about whatever is stressing Leigh out and be confused that she hasn't mentioned anything to you about it. “I didn't know that you were stressed out,” you start as you hold the passenger door open for her. 

Leigh sighs and waits for you to get inside of the car. “It’s silly stuff that's all,” she says and you tell her that nothing is silly if it's bothering her so much. “I'm just, I'm scared of being a terrible mother. And there are so many ways a baby could die. I'm just. It's overwhelming sometimes. Then there's my divorce, which isn't going well, at all! I still get sick at night or wake up with intense cravings that keep me up sometimes! And my mom and Jules are arguing again because Jules relapsed and we have no idea what set her off. We thought she was fine after her break up with Estelle! Not only has her drinking gotten out of hand but she comes home late at night and usually has company. If she's not keeping me up that way it's because she's stuck somewhere and needs me to pick her up and I'm just really tired and I-”

“Move in with me,” you interrupt her rant. 

“What?” She freezes at your statement. 

“Before you say no again, please really consider your health here. Leigh, you don't need the stress and you really need the rest. I'm not a terrible roommate and honestly, with you getting closer to your third trimester it'd make me feel more comfortable being near you at all times. I don't want to miss the birth of our child. And I'm even willing to get up in the middle of the night to cater to your cravings.” You try to sell the idea to Leigh. 

“I don't know,” she says as she considers the idea. “Your place is the perfect single person apartment, I don't know if it's big enough for the two of us.” Leigh rubs her belly as she continues to think. “Even if it does somehow fit us, there's no way it's meant for three and I definitely don't want to live somewhere that is so hazardous for the baby.” 

“I guess this is another one of those before pregnancy conversations huh?” You half heartedly joke about the situation. She shoots you a glare and you hold your hands up with an apology. “I just completely forgot about living situations during this whole thing. I never expected you to take care of the baby by yourself in your mother's house but I never thought about us living in my apartment together,” you admit as you try to think about something better. 

“It’s okay, I'm not exactly sure what I expected to happen either. But the idea of having my mom around to help me is very comforting and I'm not sure I can do this without her,” Leigh says. 

“I get that, but it sounds like she already has her hands full with your sister. Not to mention how unhelpful having her around would be. If you can't sleep because of Jules, I don't see how the baby will,” you point out.

“What do we do?” Leigh asks, unable to conjure a solution. 

You grab her hand and kiss her knuckles. “I don't know but we can think about it some more. We have time,” you promise her. She thanks you for trying to take care of her. “Let's get something to eat before I drop you off. Anything you've been craving today?” 

Leigh's eyes light up and you laugh as you start the car and get ready to take her to the fast food places that she wants to combine. 

Later that week, after some convincing, you spend the night at Leigh's house to see how bad the situation really is and wake up at three in the morning to her phone ringing. You answer it before she wakes up as well and feel frustrated when you can hardly hear Jules through the booming music. You take your phone from where it was charging and locate her from the tracking app that you and Leigh worked together on installing without her knowledge. 

You kiss Leigh’s temple as she snores softly in her sleep and leave a little note on her nightstand. You get in your car and drive an hour away to where Jules is. When you arrive, you are grumpy because by the time you get back, you have to go to work. You park and lock your car as you search for Jules in the sea of people having a good time at four in the morning. When you do find Jules it's because you hear chanting and you find her doing a keg stand. You help the two guys that were holding her upside down put her back on her feet and she is disappointed for a moment until she realizes that you're the one that put an end to her fun. 

She jumps you with a tight hug but you are in no mood to reciprocate. “Come on, I don't have a lot of time,” you say as you pick her up in a bridal style in order to keep her from running off. “Let’s get you home.”

“Thank you, Y/n,” she slurs as she nuzzles against your chest. “My mom or sister would have been so pissed but it wasn't my idea to come out here! I swear!”

You keep your mouth shut as you get her into the backseat. On the way back to Leigh's house, you have to stop by a coffee drive thru in order to continue driving safely. You offer to order for Jules but are only met with obnoxious snores and mumbles of sleep gibberish. You continue your drive listening to your playlist and when you get to Leigh's house the sun is starting to rise. 

You carry Jules all the way to her room and tuck her in before returning to Leigh's bedroom. You watch her sleep with a soft smile and write her another note before you leave for work.

While you work you and Teddy take turns looking through listings online in Leigh's neighborhood to see if there is anything available that Leigh might be okay with living in. So that she could have her mom close to her while allowing the two of you to have the space and privacy that you need. The two of you pick out three listings and you send the links to Leigh to get her opinion on them.

In the evening, while you're getting ready to go back to Leigh's house, there is a knock on your apartment door. You frown as you run through the list of people that could be at your door and brace yourself as you open the door. You relax slightly when you see your father. But only slightly. 

“Tell me why I had to hear it from someone else that you're having a baby,” he says as he steps past you. 

You clench your jaw as you curse to yourself, another thing that slipped through the cracks. “I’m sorry dad, it has been a rollercoaster. I meant to call I just… it's been really tough balancing my life and hers and it's a complicated-”

“I want to meet her,” he interrupts.

“What?” 

“She’s having my grandchild and I don't know her name. I don't even know what she looks like,” he makes valid points and the guilt starts to eat at you more. Before he decided to expand the business and open several more locations in order to make more profits, the two of you worked side by side. The two of you were close. He knew everything that there was to know about your life. Then he gave you control over this location and he put his focus on the expansion of the company. The two of you grew distant. Only ever talking about business. “How long have you been with this girl? Are you going to do the right thing and marry her? Are you ready for this kind of commitment?”

You sit down on the sofa as you try to hold yourself together. Lying to your father wasn't something that you knew how to do. But you knew that telling him the truth was going to lead to disappointment. You never wanted to disappoint your father. In the time that you were making the decisions that lead to Leigh becoming pregnant, you never ever thought you'd have to explain yourself to someone. Well, other than Teddy. You certainly didn't think you'd have to explain yourself to your father. It was never supposed to go this far. 

“I love her, dad,” you say after you tell him the complete story of how you and Leigh came to be. 

Your dad clenches his jaw as he processes. “I raised you better than to go after a kept woman.” 

“Really, dad, kept woman? That's not-”

“She was married! You knew better!” He raises his voice. You clamp your mouth shut. “You should have never gone after her. But you did and now we're here. You're going to be a parent and I'm proud that you're accepting responsibility. But I am disappointed in how this came to be.” He shakes his head and sighs. “Do you have the paternity results? My lawyer will need those in case her husband tries to pull something that could negatively affect you or even this company.”

You are quiet for a moment before you tell him that she hasn't taken a paternity test yet. “I’ve read online that those tests aren't safe for the baby when they're in utero. If it's that important, we'll get one done after the birth.” 

Your father stands from where you had him sit as you told him the story. “You accepted responsibility for a child that may or may not be yours?” 

“Dad, I love Leigh. That child is without a doubt in my mind, my child. Even if he or she or they comes out without my genetics, that baby will still be mine-”

“Ah ha! So you do have doubts!” Your father interrupts. 

“No! I'm just trying to tell you how much she and this baby means to me! I'm looking for a house and-and maybe I'll even look into getting a ring if that's what she wants. I don't know! What I do know is that she and the baby are my family now and I hope you can accept that.” 

Your father looks you up and down and then nods once. “Okay, I will. That's what you want, I'm here for you. So when can I meet my daughter-in-law?” He asks again. 

“Uh I was actually about to head over to her house. I can ask if she's up for meeting you tonight,” you offer. 

“No, no, I don't want it to be a last minute thing. I don't want to put that kind of pressure on the poor girl. Here's what I think we should do. You invite her and her family over to my house for dinner on Sunday evening. Under these circumstances, I prefer to host because she's creating my grandchild and she doesn't need to worry about a menu for me and a presentable home. How does that sound?”

You nod along, agreeing with his plan. “Yeah, I will invite them to Sunday dinner. I'm sorry again for taking so long to tell you about all of this.” 

“It’s okay Y/n, you're an adult now. You don't have to run your decisions outside of the company by me. I love you,” he pulls you in for a tight hug. You return the sentiment and hold him just as tight. 

You catch up with him as you walk him out to his car before you part ways to get in your car to go to Leigh's house. It was nice to be able to chat with him like before. You hadn't realized how much you missed him until you had to say goodbye to him. 

Once you get to the Shaw residence you immediately tell Leigh about the dinner with your father and she happily accepts, excited to get to know your father. Then the two of you talk about the houses you sent her and she tells you that she already sent emails in order to make appointments to tour the homes. “So we're really doing this?” You ask her with hopeful eyes. 

She nods with love in hers, “Yes, we're doing this. We're going to find a home for our family,” she takes your hand and places it on her belly. “It’s what is meant to be.” 

“I love you,” you kiss her on the lips and pull her closer to you. 

“Mmm, I love you too,” she kisses you back.

Seven

Taglist: @princessprudy @sayah13 @agaymilflover @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29 @thatshyboy1998 @artisannat @thisischaismagic @wqndanat @madamevirgo @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @the-writer-arcane @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @aloneodi @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @druggedduck @notbornbutforged @when-wolves-howl @lifespectator @justyourwritter69 @wandaromamoff69 @awesomelygayasf @nekoannie-chan @diaryoflife @wuwu96 @wandanats-goodgirl @sincerely-indi @blueredg52 @sisiwritesfanfics @fuzzyuniversityeclipsefriend @arcturusseer @scarlettwidow34 @chasethemoon @raven-ss @canyonyodeler @sokovianbaby

[thebindingofpillo]

What are everyone's favorite animal(s)?

"Zachary", Judas, and Maggie are invited to a black tie formal what do they choose to wear? (meme answers are welcome for this one)

Not necessarily a question but imagine Apollyon being oh so very viciously torn apart by cats (AKA someone dumped a bunch of kittens on him and they're now exploring)

HI sorry it took me five billion years to reply, I hope this will suffice

Judas: da lobster. And goats. Any type of ovine actually, he was a shepherd in his first life and he’s still quite fond of the animals. He thinks sheep are a bit dumb but lovable.

Magdalene: I get the feeling she might like doves. Did you know that doves mate for life? They’re a symbol of love in many cultures, which I think would be perfect for her. And pigeons too, she loves them bc they remind her of Judas (downtrodden and with a terrible rep but actually really nice).

Azazel: he is the animal. I have no idea for him BUT I can tell you he doesn’t like shepherd dogs, because when he was still disguised as a goat and living in Judas’ flock, his dog would keep trying to bite him and drive him away from the other sheep bc he could tell Azazel wasn’t a normal goat.

Apollyon: B U G S any type of bug. This is something the Great Creative instilled in him, since He loves bugs too. If he had to pick a favorite bug, probably a beetle. There’s a lot of those. Or a roly-poly. Those are cute. His second favorite animal is humans :)

Isaac: Cats (duh) he’s very fond of big chunky breeds but will never be able to afford one so he just picked up a couple of kittens from a local shelter some time ago. Here’s a link

Bethany: I think it would be very funny if she liked an animal usually associated with demonic things, so I think goats and Jacob sheep would be her favorite animals. I was worried this would make her a bit too similar to Judas but a friend (hi Jay hiiii) pointed out this could be thematically significant because they’re going to end up as found family anyway and something something like father like daughter. And also Augusto has horns kinda like a Jacob sheep, it’s all connected.

Cain: I don’t think he’d have a favorite animal tbh. Probably something basic, like dogs (his first wife definitely had a hunting dog) He does like earthworms tho! Means the soil is healthy.

Lilith: Likes cows bc she likes beef. Her favorite animal is one she can eat. Deer too, but that’s a bit more expensive.

Eve: likes unconventional pets. Has a pet snake but I don’t think snakes are her all time favorite animal. She definitely likes birds but crows are too easy, so I’m going to say her favorite animal is either the humble duck or the majestic owl.

Samson: I like the idea of brick shithouse Samson having a soft spot for smaller, cuter animals, like mice or hamsters. And chicks. He probably begged his mom for a hamster when he was a kid. Now he’s an adult and could technically buy himself a hamster or a mouse, but he’d be too afraid of his mother blowing up at him. And also, he’s a real big guy, there’s always the risk (in his mind) he’ll crush the little creatures in his hands, or accidentally kill them in some other way, which would absolutely destroy him.

Lazarus: he likes rats and lizards. Would love to get an iguana one day, but he’s not yet ready to take care of another living being. He’s already struggling with helping out Bethany, and she’s a grown ahh woman.

Eden: The entire concept of a favorite animal is pretty foreign to them, they don’t really understand it. If they had to choose they’d probably reply with whatever animal comes to mind first, even humans. Humans are technically animals, and Eden likes them very much, even if their approach to humans is more akin to a kid lifting up a log and watching all the bugs skitter away.

Jacob: his favorite animals have always been dinosaurs bc he’s a nerrrrrd /j lol. His favorite dinosaurs are the parasaurolophos bc funny head, and the troodon, bc that was MY favorite dinosaur when I was a kid.

Esau: a friend jokingly suggested he’d like snails and slugs but honestly, I can see him. Another brick shithouse that loves little creatures… Maybe he likes them because they don’t bother him too much and they’re easy to take care of. And also they’re cute with their :3 faces. Kid Esau definitely spent a lot of time just laying down in the grass, looking at the bugs.

Edith: (when she was alive) either cats or donkeys. She had a very utilitarian view of animals, and liked the most useful ones. Cats kept her house free of mice and donkeys helped her and Lot with transportation (I had an idea that Lot was a merchant).

“Zachary” Judas and Maggie are invited to a formal black tie event, what do they wear?

Ta daaaa! This took way longer than I’d like to admit and I don’t even like it that much. Anyway Magdalene would definitely go for a simple dress such as the one in the pic. Sophisticated enough to look cool, but still comfy. And while she doesn’t really like wearing boring colors like grey or black, she will manage for an evening, especially if she wants to make a good impression, or if it’s for something important (like idk an art exhibition, or a meeting with a publisher). She might add a little touch of color here and there tho. And Azazel will do her makeup, that’s non-negotiable.

Judas would very much Die if he had to wear a tie, since he can’t stand anything around his neck, but he would still try his best to look decent. His biggest fear in that sitution would be to accidentally embarrass Maggie, so giving a nice impression is VITAL. Azazel will also offer to do his makeup, and depending on his mood, Judas might even accept.

“Zachary” is another thing entirely because he would *hate* dressing up to go somewhere. It would bring back too many ugly memories, and he generally doesn’t like stuffy, uptight situations. He probably wouldn’t even go to such an event but if his partners really need his presence there he’ll try his best. As for the clothes… it depends I guess? He’ll dress up nicely for a really important event (idk like his wedding I guess) otherwise he’d prefer keeping things casual.

As for the last question, Apollyon wouldn’t really know what to do with the kitties so he’d just stay still and let them climb all over him :)

They’re having so much fun.