#my mom is old now (she turned 50 today) yay

[foxett]

I FINALLY DREW MORE SUNTAN GUYS

[natbarzal]

Connor McDavid - Until we’re gray and old

this was requested on my Wattpad and I think this fic turned out quite well so I thought I'd post it here too😊it's a little inspired by the songs 'Say you won't let go' by James Arthur and 'Love someone' by Lukas Graham

just wanna say, I don't know how exactly weddings go, so sorry if something doesn't make sense, and also, I of course know that Edmonton is in Alberta, but since Connor is from Ontario, I thought it they'd get married there :)

warnings: none

word count: 2.2k (my longest one here on Tumblr yay😂)

enjoy! 💜

_________________________________________

Y/n's pov:

I stood in front of the full length mirror, taking deep breaths while staring at the beautiful wedding dress I was wearing. Today was the day I was going to marry the love of my life, and no matter how excited I was to finally become Mrs. McDavid, I was also very nervous. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear the door of the room I was in open and close.

"You look very beautiful sweetie. Like a real princess." I turned around to see my mum admiring the dress with a light smile on her lips.

"Mom, I'm so nervous." I told her, my voice slightly shaky. She looked into my eyes before stepping closer to me and taking my hands into hers.

"That's completely normal, my dear. You should see how nervous I was before I married your father - I wasn't very far from running away." she said, laughing at the memory. I laughed too, feeling just a little more relaxed.

"What made you change your mind?" I asked, looking at her curiously.

"I remembered how much I love your father and that there's absolutely no one in the world that I'd rather spend the rest of my life with. Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with Connor?" she asked, looking at me with soft eyes and squeezing my hands.

"Yes." I answered without hesitating for a second. "Yes, I am sure. But that's not what I'm nervous about.. what if- what if I fall while walking down the aisle? Or- or I mess up my vow or I drop the ring while slipping it on Connor's hand? Mom what if-" I rambled anxiously, becoming more and more nervous again but my mum cut me off.

"Alright, no more 'what if's, okay? Everything is going to go well." she said and I nodded, closing my eyes and taking another deep breath. That was when we heard light knocks on the door.

"Yes?" my mom called as we both turned to look at the door.

"It's me. Can I come in?" said my dad from the other side of the door.

"Yeah dad, go ahead."

He opened the door and his jaw dropped the moment he saw me. He closed the door behind himself and just looked at me for a moment, being at a loss of words. I let go of my mum's hands and twirled around before stopping and looking at dad.

"So how do I look?" I asked, a nervous smile present on my lips. He looked up from my dress and into my eyes and I saw that his were already filling with tears.

"Beautiful, my darling." he whispered, coming closer. "I can't believe my little princess is getting married. I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday and now? Where did the time go?" he asked and quickly wiped the tears that slipped out of his eyes.

"Please don't cry dad, or I will cry too." I said.

"Give me one last hug as a Y/l/n?" he asked and opened his arms for me. I smiled before stepping closer to him and wrapping my arms around his neck, his wrapping around my waist. We hugged tightly for a few moments before I pulled away and looked at mom whose eyes were a little watery now as well. I motioned for her to join us and she did. We all hugged for a little while longer before there was another knock on the door.

"Yes?" I called after pulling away from my parents and straightening out the dress. The door opened and my best friend and maid of honour, Celeste, poked her head into the room.

"Are you ready?" she asked me. I looked over at my parents once again before looking back at her and nodding my head yes.

"I'm ready." I said confidently. My mum came over to me and kissed my cheek, smiling at me before exiting the room. Celeste looked at me and gave me excited thumbs up before turning around and walking out as well. I reached up and pulled my veil over my face. My dad came closer to me and offered me his arm to take, which I did and we walked out of the room together just as 'All of Me' started to play.

Leon and Celeste were the first to walk down the aisle, then my mom, then my little cousins as flower girls and then finally my dad and I.

As we were walking, I smiled at some of the people we passed. It was a small wedding really, just our closest family and friends, around 50 people in total. We didn't need nor want a big wedding, being able to celebrate it with the ones that are closest to us is the most important.

Before I even noticed, we were at the end of the aisle and my eyes were met with Connor's blue ones for the first time today. Connor came closer and stretched out his hand. My dad went to place my hand into Connor's, but not before saying "Take care of her for me, son."

"I will. I promise." Connor said and my dad finally handed my hand to Connor, going to sit down in his chair. Connor helped me up to the altar and then we took our spots opposite from each other. Connor reached to throw my veil over my head, revealing my face. 'You look beautiful' I saw him mouth and blushed before he took my hands and we turned our attention to the priest.

"Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of Y/n Y/l/n and Connor McDavid in marriage. In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife." he said, looking up at the guests.

"Y/n and Connor, remember to treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Take responsibility for making the other feel safe, and give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulty and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at some time or another, remember to focus on what is right between you, not just the part that seems wrong. In this way, you can survive the times when clouds drift across the face of the sun in your lives, remembering that, just because you may lose sight of it for a moment, does not mean the sun has gone away. And, if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight." he recited. Connor and I were looking at each other the whole time and God bless whoever made waterproof mascara, because I felt my eyes slowly but surely filling with tears. God why do I have to be so emotional. Connor's eyes were a little glassy as well.

"Now it's time for your vows. Connor, you shall start." he said and everyone's looked to Connor. He took a deep breath, indicating he was just as nervous as I was before starting to talk.

"Y/n, I love you so much. When I saw you for the first time in that little café in Edmonton 3 years ago, my exact thoughts were 'Wow, that's the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.' You can ask Leon, I told him about you almost immediately." everyone laughed at that a little and looked at Leon who nodded and chuckled at the memory.

"When I came to your table and asked you if I could sit with you and you smiled at me for the first time, I knew I had to get to know you. Then, when you agreed to go out with me, I was over the moon." he said, smiling big at me. I smiled back and carefully wiped the tear that threatened to slip from the corner of my eye.

"Then we went on our first date, and then on many more dates, and every single one was amazing. By the time you agreed to be my girlfriend, I was already madly in love with you. And with every passing second that we spend together, you make me fall for you more and more.

When you agreed to marry me, I felt like the luckiest guy in the whole world. There are days when I wake up and I pinch myself to assure myself that I'm not dreaming when I see you sleeping beside me.

You're perfect for me. You're everything I could ever want in a girl and more and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, trying to make you as happy as you make me. " he finished, looking at me with so much love. I smiled back at him, a wiping away the few tears that slipped down my cheeks before clearing my throat and starting my own vow.

"I love you too Connor. I remember when I came home after you asked me on that date, I was jumping around in excitement for at least 5 minutes, that's how happy I was." I said and everyone laughed a little again.

"When we started going on dates and everything went so well and then when you asked me to be your girlfriend.. I almost couldn't believe it. I never thought I'd have someone this interested in me.

I honestly thought I would never find 'the one' till I found you. You changed my life so much and I'm so grateful for that. You make me the happiest person in the world. Even on the worst days, the ones where everything goes wrong and I just want to give up, you manage to make me smile and thanks to you, I keep going. With you, every single one of my problems goes away. " I said but it was slowly getting harder to keep talking through the tears that were now flowing from my eyes. I saw a few tears slip down Connor's cheeks as well.

"I'm in love with you, more that I thought it would ever be possible for me to be in love with someone. You're my soulmate, my better half, and I want to stay with you until we're gray and old." I finished and and at this point, I think almost everyone here was crying. I reached my hand up to wipe my cheeks before the priest started speaking again.

"Do you, Connor McDavid, choose Y/n Y/l/n to be your partner in life, to support and respect her in her successes and as well her failures, to care for her in sickness and in health, to nurture her, and to grow with her throughout the seasons of your life together?"

"I do." Connor said, looking at me with absolutely no hesitation present in his voice.

"Do you, Y/n Y/l/n, choose Connor McDavid to be your partner in life, to support and respect him in his successes and as well his failures, to care for him in sickness and in health, to nurture him, and to grow with him throughout the seasons of your life together?"

"I do." I answered, looking straight into those beautiful eyes that I fell in love with 3 years ago.

"Now it's time to exchange your rings." the priest said. One of my little cousins, being the ring bearer, ran up to us with the rings on a tray and held them up for us. Connor took mine first and reached for my left hand.

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love for you. Let it be a reminder that I am always by your side and that I will always be a faithful partner to you." he said as he slipped the golden ring on my finger. I smiled and took the other ring off the tray, taking his left hand into mine.

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness. As I place it on your finger, I commit my heart and soul to you. I ask you to wear this ring as a reminder of the vows we have spoken today, our wedding day." I said, slipping the ring onto his finger.

"By the power vested in me by the State of Ontario, Canada, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride." before the he could even finish the sentence, Connor had his arms wrapped around my waist and his lips were on mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him with all I had. Everyone started clapping and cheering, but in that moment, everything Connor and I were able to focus on was each other.

Everything was perfect.

I wanna live with you

Even when we're ghosts

'Cause you were always there for me

When I needed you the most

I'm gonna love you 'till

My lungs give out

I promise 'til death we part

Like in our vows

[p-artsypants]

Longest Night (50) Celebrating

Here we go! The last chapter! And it’s a doozy! 

I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but I grew up calling all of my parents friend’s ‘aunt’ and ‘uncle’. Some of them I still do. Which was really fun when I dated a family friend and kept calling his mom ‘Aunt Julie’. We are not related. Fun times!

Also, there’s some nicknames in this chapter. “Peepums” is Tom. “Nonnie Cheng” is Sabine. And “Nonna Gina” is Tom’s mom. You know how grandparents all have their weird nicknames. 

Ao3 | FF.net

20 years later

—

When Marinette awoke that morning, she was alone in bed. It wasn’t that odd. Adrien had always been an early riser, but this was a different reason than just that. 

But she didn’t worry. It was best just to leave things the way they were. 

Dressing in a robe, she went downstairs to start making breakfast. The kids were old enough to get ready on their own now, and as long as they were down before 7, she didn’t bug them. 

The first into the kitchen was the youngest, Emma. A complete girly-girl and lover of all things pink and fashionable. Even at 12, she had her own sophisticated sense of style (party cultivated by her grandfather). She danced in her pink dress and adorable white flats. “What do you think, mama? Perfect for career day? Do I look like a professional?” 

“Of course you do, sweetheart.” 

She beamed. “Where’s papa?” 

“Oh, uh, I’m not sure. He couldn’t sleep last night, so he went for patrol. He hasn’t been back yet.” 

Emma frowned hard. “He’ll be there for career day though, right?” 

“He wouldn’t miss it for the world! But Peepums and Grandfather Gabriel are going to be there too.” 

“Is Peepums bringing treats?” 

“I would assume so. He never passes up a chance to bring snacks. Now, I’m making crepes, you want one or two?” 

“Just one, mama.” 

“Alright.” 

The next down the stairs was the oldest (by two minutes) Hugo. “Morning mama,” he smiled brightly. 

“There’s my birthday boy! Feel any older?” 

“No, but I feel wiser!” He joked, as he jumped on the stool by the counter. 

“Where’s Louis?” 

“Stuck in the toilet.” 

“And you mean that figuratively, right?”

He shrugged. “What’s for breakfast?”

“Crepes, blueberry, your favorite.” 

“Yes! I want five!” 

“You can have three, I don’t want you to get a tummy ache before school.” 

“Lame! Bring on the crepes!” He pounded his fists on the counter. 

“Three, and then if you aren’t stuffed, I’ll consider more.” 

Then came the unmistakable sound of a body slowly falling down the stairs, before a dark haired teen crawled across the floor and collapsed next to his mother’s legs. 

“Ah, Birthday boy part 2. Welcome to the land of the living!” 

“It should be a crime to have to wake up early on your birthday.” Said the boy, face flat against the ground.

“You truly are my child,” said Marinette with a smile. 

“Where’s pops?” Asked Hugo, digging into his second crepe. 

“Out on patrol.” 

This caused Louis to stir and look up. “Did something happen?”

“No, he just couldn’t sleep.” 

Hugo frowned. “Nightmares again? He’s been having those a lot lately.” 

“Yeah. I’m not sure why he’s having them. But you kids don’t need to worry about it.” 

“Are we still okay for our party tomorrow?” 

“Of course!” Marinette beamed. “Even if papa wasn’t feeling great, we’d still have it! Aunt Chloe reserved the rooftop pool for you, after all.”

“…I’m so excited,” said the child on the floor, with no enthusiasm. “You just can’t tell right now.”

“Well, you’re not going to get any rest on the floor. Sit in your seat and eat your crepe. I’ll make a little coffee.” 

“…yay…” 

—

Emma bounced nervously in her seat. She was flanked by Tom and Gabriel, who had both already presented for career day. 

The day was almost over, and her father hadn’t shown. 

“It’s okay, my little cupcake.” Tom assured, petting her blonde hair. “He’ll be here.” 

“And if he doesn’t make it,” added Gabriel, “It wasn’t because he didn’t want to. He’s probably out there stopping a criminal, saving lives. I know you’re the most important thing in the world to him.” 

Emma nodded, believing both of her grandfathers, but also not wanting to be one without a dad on career day. 

Through the years, Emma had gotten used to her father’s unpredictable behavior. He loved her to the end of the world and back, and would move mountains for her if he could. And most days, it really really showed. 

But some days, he just wasn’t…there. Emotionally, spiritually, or like today, physically. Her mother had similar episodes, but mostly in mood swings. She got angry sometimes, seemingly over nothing. Never directed at Emma or her brothers, thankfully, but Emma knew that there was something different about her parents. 

She knew the story. She had been told pieces of it growing up, but never allowed to watch the footage. Mama and Papa had been kidnapped and tortured, because they were superheroes, and they were never the same after. The details were vague, and she was told it would be too scary for her to handle every time she asked. But she saw the scars, heard her father’s screams at night. 

Most days, she didn’t want to know.

“Alright! I think that’s everyone!” Miss Bustier called. “Thank you all for participating in our career day! It’s awesome that we have such a wide range of jobs just in this very room!” 

Emma deflated. Her father really wasn’t coming. 

Tom laid a giant hand on her head and rubbed. 

But then, there was a knock at the window. 

“Chat Noir?” Miss Bustier asked. 

The man in black waved as she opened the window. 

“So so sorry I’m late!” He apologized, hopping into the room. “I caught a robber, and I walked him down to the police station and we had to do all this paperwork—“ 

“Papa!” Emma shouted, leaping over her desk. She ran to him, and threw her arms around him in a crushing hug. “You made it!”

“Just in time it seems,” he laughed, hugging her back. “I’m sorry I’m late. Can you forgive me?”

“Of course! Come on, it’s your turn to present!” She took his hand and led him up to the front of the room. “Everyone, this is my dad, Chat Noir! He’s a superhero!” 

—

The next day was Saturday, and Marinette was full of stress up to her neck. She paced poolside, as her family helped set up for the party. 

“Alright, Nino’s on music, Alya’s on Emma duty, Chloe covered catering, mom and dad have the cake, Gabriel and Emilie have decorations…what am I missing?”

“My Lady, you’ve gone over this list a hundred times. We’re fine.” 

“Drinks! I forgot the drinks!” 

Adrien pointed over at the bar. “Luka and Kagami are on drinks, remember? Luka’s making his mimosas for the adults.”

“Oh, right.” Then she pointed at him. “No alcohol, alright? Not with your medication.” 

“Oh come on, these are Luka’s mimosas! I’m gonna get krunk!” 

“Dad’s gonna get krunk?” Asked Hugo, from the pool. 

“No one is getting krunk!” Marinette poked Adrien in the chest. “Look what you started!” 

“I’m only teasing.” Adrien laughed, taking his wife’s hand. “Relax My Lady, it’s a party, a sweet 16 party! Everyone’s here to have fun. And they will as long as we relax.” 

Marinette got close, whispering conspiratorially, “that’s just the thing! Do you remember our sweet sixteen parties?” 

“Well...I didn’t have a party,” Adrien shrugged. “You, Alya, and Nino helped me escape the house and we went to the movies.” 

“Yeah, and they spent the whole time making out, so you and I just sat there awkwardly.” 

“I think I put my arm around you,” he grinned. “My very good friend.” 

She stuck her tongue out at him.

“And your sixteenth...was that the year that Lila told everyone it was on a different day?” 

“And you were the only one who called to confirm it was on the original day, and so you were the only one that showed? Yep, that’s the one. I cried on you for 15 minutes when I realized no one else was coming.” 

“I mean, yeah, that sucked, but we still had fun with your family.” 

“My point is, this is Hugo and Louis’ sixteenth birthday. I want them to have a good one, to have what we couldn’t have.” 

“You have their gifts in your purse, right?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Then I wouldn’t worry about it. Their friends and family are coming, everything looks good, so just relax.” 

Marinette took a deep sigh. “You’re right, my love. Whatever happens, happens, and we’ve done all we can.” 

“The party will be fine, Mom.” Said Louis from a lounge chair. 

“Ah! Louis? Why aren’t you in the pool?” 

“I’m perfectly content just relaxing here. I’ll get hot soon enough and go in the pool.” 

“Are you sure?” 

Adrien wrapped an arm around his wife. “Marinette, let him alone. He’s fine. You know he’s our introvert.” 

“Mama! Papa!” Emma called, running towards them from the hotel elevator. “Look at the swimsuit grandfather Gabriel got me!” She twirled, letting the shimmery, glittery greens, teals, and purples swirl in a kaleidoscope of color. “I look like a mermaid!” 

“You sure do, Princess!” Adrien beamed. 

Emma squealed in delight before running back to Alya. 

“See? All of our kids are enjoying themselves. The guests are slowly trickling in...” he gestured to the elevator where more classmates with gifts arrived. “And no catastrophes yet.” 

“Fine fine, Kitty, I get it. I’ll have a mimosa and lighten up.” 

“Have one for me too!” He called after, as she headed to the bar. 

Soon, the guests arrived. Hugo and Louis had invited their entire class of 18 kids. Some parents stayed to help with chaperoning, and some even brought younger siblings that were friends with Emma. 

It was turning out to be a real shin-dig. 

So far, Marinette felt at ease. The four parents that had stayed were mostly just hanging out at the bar, but the kids were in the pool, and no one was drowning. 

Louis still reclined on the lounger, sunning himself. 

“You're still doing okay over here, kiddo?” 

“Mom, I’m doing so okay. So okay, it’s ridiculous. Nonna Gina brought me over a virgin mimosa, cause everyone’s talking about them. I feel like I’m on vacation.” 

“As long as you’re content, I’m happy. Just wanted to make sure you weren’t feeling left out.” 

“Nah,” he waved her off. “I will go swimming, but I’m going to wait until after eating.” 

“Okay, kiddo.” 

Seeing Hugo happily enthralled in a cannonball contest, and Louis sunning himself like a cat, she decided to check in with her youngest. Though she saw Alya at the bar talking to Kagami, and Emma nowhere in sight. 

This used to make her panic immediately. None of her kids were especially hyper or rambunctious. They didn’t run off on their own, especially without letting her know. 

But there was still a fear, still a niggling doubt in the back of her head that said ‘what if’? 

As calm as possible, she approached the adults at the bar, and asked Alya. “Have you seen Emma?”

“She ran down to the lobby to use the bathroom,” Alya answered casually. 

“Alone?”

“Yeah, Marinette, she’s 12. She can handle going to the bathroom alone.” It was a reassurance, no judgement. Because sometimes, Adrien and Marinette needed a reminder that their children were well adjusted and had plenty of common sense.

Marinette knew that. And it wasn’t the bathroom part she was concerned about. It was the trip down to the lobby by herself. 

She heard a father speak softly, “for superheroes, they are certainly overprotective of their kids. Kind of feel sorry for them.” 

Marinette nodded at Alya, and retreated sheepishly. Was her paranoia ruining her children’s lives? 

“What’s with that look, My Lady?” Adrien asked, softly, sipping on his drink. 

“Sorry, sorry, I just…overheard something I shouldn’t dwell on.” She looked at the drink in his hands, narrowing her eyes. 

“It’s virgin!” He handed it to her. “I promised I was going to quit. Getting plastered at our kid’s birthday would be the worst time for them to find out I have a problem.” 

“It’s not a problem yet, but that’s why I want you to stop. So it doesn’t become one.”

“Hey! Let go Isaac!” Louis’ voice carried over the water. Instantly, Marinette and Adrien were alert and looked to see a larger boy pulling Louis toward the pool by the arm. 

“Hey!” Marinette called out. “Let him go! If he doesn’t want to go swimming, don’t force him!” 

“Oh come on, Lady!” The father from the bar shouted over to her. “What’s the point in having a pool party for your boys if they aren’t even going to go swimming!?”

SPLASH

Louis surfaced with a gasp, and then a defeated “aw man!” 

“Are you okay kiddo?” Marinette asked. “You didn’t have your phone on you, right?”

“No, I’m fine.” He took off his soaked shirt and dropped it on the edge of the pool with a loud plop. “Just…didn’t want to get wet yet.” 

“Dude, come on Isaac, don’t be such a turd!” Hugo chastised. 

“He looked lonely!” Isaac argued. 

“Whatever,” Louis said, defeated. “Just…don’t dunk me, okay?” 

“No promises!”

Adrien frowned at the exchange as Louis swam over closer to his brother. “Isaac, Isaac, why is that name familiar? Is that the kid that’s been picking on Louis? Why is he here?” 

“Oh,” Marinette smacked her head. “That’s what they were asking about!” 

“What? Who?” 

“A few weeks ago, the boys were asking me questions about what to do about a classmate people don’t get along with. They asked if they should include them in the party if they were inviting the rest of the class. I told them that would be the right thing to do, but I didn’t realize they were talking about Louis’ bully!” She groaned. “And it looks like the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” She glared at Isaac’s dad at the bar. 

Adrien smiled over at the pool. Both Hugo and Louis were laughing and seemed to be having a good time. It seemed Louis was already over his impromptu dunking. “Our kids are resilient. It’ll take more than that to bring them down.” 

“They are strong.” Marinette breathed. “Stronger than me.” 

It was then that Emma returned. “Hi mama, I’m back. Aunt Alya said I should check in with you because you were worried? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you where I was going.” 

Marinette smiled at her. “It’s fine Emma. You told Aunt Alya, so someone knew. You just know I’m a basket case.” 

Emma frowned at her mom. “You’re not a basket case. You’re just...worried?” 

“Does that bother you? Do I make you feel trapped or smothered?” 

Adrien stared at his wife in horror. Likewise, so did Emma. “No! Not at all!” She hugged her around the waist and added, “Nonnie Cheng worries about where I am too. She says it’s because you went missing, and it’s scared her ever since. I don’t want to scare you, mom.” 

Marinette hugged Emma tightly and said, “I have the best kids in the world.” 

“In that case,” Emma grinned. “Can I have some soda?” 

“Sure, just tell Aunt Kagami what you want.”

“Thanks mom!” She beamed and scurried off. 

“And no running!” Marinette called after. “Girl’s got my clumsy streak. She’ll break her neck.” 

“Crisis averted it seems.” Said Adrien. 

“For now,” Marinette narrowed her eyes. “But Ladybug never rests!” 

Adrien pecked his wife on the lips. “Someone has to be responsible.” 

“Hey pops!” Hugo called from the pool. 

“What’s up?” 

“We’re going to do a diving contest! You should join!” 

“Yeah!” 

“Come on Mr. Dupain-Cheng!” 

“Show us some Chat Noir style!” 

Marinette nudged him. “Go ahead. Show those kids how it’s done.” 

He smirked. “Okay okay.” He took off his shirt and laid it on the lounger by their bags. Then he entered the pool from the shallow end, coming up behind the kids. “How does this diving contest work?” 

“It’s easy!” Said Hugo, “we’re going to take turns coming up with unique ways to jump in the pool. Winner is the best technique, or most creative.”

“I got one!” Said a chubby kid. He climbed out of the pool and up on the diving board. 

“Make room!” Someone called. “Cannon ball champion on the loose!” 

“This is called ‘The Patrick Star’!” He bounced twice, getting real air before leaping out, parallel with the water, arms and legs spread out like a starfish. 

And he collided with the water with a resounding clap, making everyone go, ‘ooo!’ 

The kid surfaced, his entire frontside pink. “Ow.” 

The rest of the class laughed at him. 

One by one, classmates would come up with a dive, though most were a lot more elegant than the first. 

“I call this, ‘The Ladybug’.” A girl said. She ran and jumped, twisting in the air while throwing her arm, mimicking Ladybug’s yo-yo. She managed to say “bug out!” Before she hit the water. Marinette whistled. “She’s got my vote!” 

“Come on, Pops,” said Hugo. “It’s your turn!” 

“I don’t have a—“ 

“Just make something up! Go go!” 

Adrien pulled himself out of the pool and headed toward the diving board, aware of the people watching, curious. 

This was his twin boys’ special day. He had to be impressive. He had to be the cool dad. 

He took a running start, falling into a front flip as he hit the diving board. His adult weight bowed the board with force, sending him up into the air. He curled tightly into a ball, using the momentum to rotate three times, before coming out of the ball and diving seamlessly into the water. 

When he surfaced, the crowd of kids were going wild. They screamed and chanted “Dad! Dad! Dad!” 

Obviously started by his boys. 

Adrien beamed as he treaded water. Being Chat Noir was great, even with all the pain it had brought him. But being his kid’s hero was the absolute best. 

But everything came to a screeching halt as Isaac, the butthole kid, let out a loud, “EWWW!!” Grabbing everyone’s attention. “What’s wrong with your dad’s back!? It’s all gross!”

Adrien slammed his eyes shut, all at once feeling self-conscious. But this was just a dumb teenager. Maybe he didn’t know any better. But before he could gather himself to calmly explain his scars, his boys spoke up for him. 

“It’s scarring, you jerk,” said Louis. 

“He got it from being a superhero, when he was just two years older than we are!” Added Hugo. 

Isaac scoffed, “Chat Noir and Ladybug aren’t real superheroes! Not like the ones in America! All they do is rescue cats from trees and show up for charity events. They don’t even do anything anymore!”

Adrien sloppily backtracked, reaching out for the edge of the pool. 

“Just yesterday, he caught a robber! That’s not nothing!” Hugo defended. 

“Oh yeah?” Said Isaac, “My dad said that they used to fight supervillains, but they couldn’t stop the guy responsible for them! He said they’re losers and failures!” 

“Hey Jean,” said one of the parents. “Tell your kid to shut up.” 

Isaac’s father took a chug from his beer and shrugged. “Someone had to say it.” 

“Monsieur,” said Ladybug with god-like patience. “I suggest you and your son leave. I don’t feel the need to play host to someone who could be so hateful and misinformed.” 

“Misinformed?” The man, Jean, scoffed. “I was there. I saw the stream back then. I remember what it was like. The weekly akumas, classes and events always cancelled. The only reason they stopped is because Hawkmoth gave up. I don’t think you guys should be getting recognition anymore. Sorry, not sorry.” 

“Mom?” Louis called from the pool.

Jean frowned, continuing. “The rest of us have to make a living working hard, every day. You and your husband just put on some skin tight leather and prance around. Now you’re set for life. It’s disgusting.” 

“Hey man, if you don’t like it, you can leave,” said Alya. “No one invited you. I heard your son was only invited out of obligation.” 

“Mom!” Louis called again. 

“Marinette and Adrien suffered enough for a lifetime. Every day is a struggle! How dare you say otherwise!” 

“MOM!” Louis screamed. 

Marinette whipped her head over to the pool, seeing Adrien struggling to keep his head above water. Louis and Hugo were holding him up. She hurried over. “What happened? What’s wrong?” 

“He’s having an attack!” 

Tom rushed over, reaching his hands under Adrien’s arms, and pulled him out of the pool. He tried to set him on his feet, but he kept leaning forward, trying to lay down. His eyes were wide, but unfocused, as his breaths came rapidly. 

Marinette tugged on his arm. “Come on, Kitty. Not here.” She called over to Chloe. “Is there a room we can borrow for a second?”

“Follow me!” 

Louis broke off from the group, but Hugo and Marinette were quick to escort Adrien away from the party. 

“Mom?” Emma asked, right as they were about to get on the elevator. 

“It’s okay, Honey. Dad just needs a minute. Stay behind with Aunt Alya, okay?”

Emma nodded, though didn’t look convinced. 

Chloe showed them to her room, where she quickly got a towel for Adrien to wrap up in. 

Hugo and Marinette eased him down to sit on the couch. There, he slumped, his head resting on the back of the couch. 

Louis found their room, cup in hand. “I brought a coke. I know that usually helps.” 

Marinette sighed in relief. “Thank you baby,” she took the cup from him and put it in Adrien’s hand, then helped him take a sip. 

They sat for a while, watching Adrien breathe slowly and take occasional sips from his drink.

“I’m so sorry boys,” Marinette looked to them sadly. “We didn’t mean to ruin your birthday.”

Hugo frowned at her. “What? You guys didn’t ruin anything. Isaac’s the one that pooped on our party.”

“Yeah,” added Louis, “and we were having a great time up until now. Don’t worry about it mom.” 

Adrien very shakily brought the cup towards his face, and Marinette was quick to help, so he didn’t spill. “Dad’s going to be fine,” she explained. “Why don’t you boys get back to the party?” 

“If it’s okay, I’d like to wait until dad feels a little better. I’d feel guilty if I left,” said Louis.

“Me too,” said Hugo. “And I need a few minutes to calm down to keep from punching Isaac in the face. What he said was dumb. He has no idea what you guys do.” 

“…it shouldn’t have bothered me…” Adrien said, softly. 

“Dad?” 

“I’m okay,” he took a deep exhale. “Just…lost myself for a moment.” 

Hugo hugged him tightly around the shoulders. “Love you, dad. Don’t worry about it.” 

“I’m sorry for scaring you boys…and your friends. But I’ll be alright now.” 

“You recovered pretty quickly,” Marinette noted. 

“It’s because I have my big strong boys with me.” He wrapped his arms around his sons. “There was nothing to worry about.” 

Except, there was. 

Alya burst into the room, Chloe behind her, with a look of panic. 

“Marinette, come quickly!” 

“What? What’s wrong?” 

“It’s Emma! She’s been akumatized!!” 

—

As Emma watched her father be rushed out of the party, a stone fell into her gut. No matter how often this happened, no matter how good they got at catching the attacks, it still scared her when it happened. 

She was torn between wanting to be with him, and not wanting to see that vacant expression on his face. Her mother said it was a coping mechanism he developed a long time ago, when they had been kidnapped. He just switched his brain off when he got overwhelmed, as to not experience pain. It only happened a few times a year, only in super stressful situations where he thought about his torture. 

Emma wiped at her face as she looked over the party. Alya was chastising the adult man that had talked bad about her father, and Hugo and Louis’ friends were ripping into the kid that started the whole mess. 

Everyone was angry and yelling. 

“Emma?” Gabriel asked, resting a hand on her shoulder. “Are you alright, dear?” 

“Oh, Grandfather…” She sniffed. “I’m just…scared.” 

“Your father will be alright. It’s nothing physical, it’s just a mental state.” 

“I know…” She screwed up her lips. “But I’m scared people are going to keep saying that stuff to him. Mom acts like I’m too young to understand what’s happening…but people are forgetting that they are real superheroes, and they act like they’re mascots. I’m scared this is going to happen again.” She rubbed at her damp eyes. “He doesn’t deserve it. Neither of them do.” 

“You really love your parents, don’t you?” 

“Of course! They’re the best!”

“Then, I have a plan. Would you be willing to help?”

“Of course, what is it?”

“Come with me, we’ll speak in private.” 

Curious, Emma followed Gabriel into the hotel, down to a conference room. He locked the door behind them. 

“You remember our little secret?” 

“That I know you were Hawkmoth?” 

“Yes. My plan requires me to come out of retirement, just this once…and to akumatize you.” 

She looked startled. “You want to turn me into a supervillain?”

“Only if you agree to it, dear.” He pet her hair. “My goal is to make you a supervillain, so you can terrorize Paris and remind them of what Ladybug and Chat Noir used to do. I’ll be able to see through your eyes, so I can stop and undo any damage if something goes wrong.” 

Emma crossed her arms. “You’d make mom and dad fight me?”

“Not fight you, rescue you.”

She frowned again, thinking about it. Then she nodded. “Let’s do it!” 

Gabriel smiled at her, and opened his sports jacket, where Nooroo was hiding. “Nooroo, Dark Wings rise!” 

In a flash of purple light, Hawkmoth had returned. Inside his cane, a little white butterfly fluttered. 

Emma danced on her toes. “What kind of powers are you going to give me? I want to be pretty!” 

He chuckled at her eagerness. “Of course, my sweet Emma.” He evilized the butterfly, and then coaxed it into the paw print bracelet she was wearing. 

A purple mask appeared on her face.

“Mermaidia, I’m giving you the power of the seas. You may travel through any body of water, and turn those that oppose you into sea creatures. In exchange, you must give Chat Noir and Ladybug a taste of nostalgia. Do you accept these terms?” 

“Absolutely, Hawkmoth.” 

The dark purple fog encompassed Emma, turning the sweet blonde girl into a real mermaid, with purple hair, shimmering scales, and an abundance of glittering gold and jewels. In her hand, she held a trident. 

Hawkmoth took a bottle of water from the table, and poured it on the floor. 

Mermaidia stepped into the puddle, and disappeared. 

—

“Regardless if you feel like you’re right, it’s still your opinion. And an opinion doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole, especially to people who are hosting this party!” Shouted Alya. 

The rest of the parents were quietly watching the exchange, not really wanting to get involved. But they were also paying attention to a similar argument in the pool. 

“You are a grown adult and a parent. It’s your job to teach your kid respect and kindness, two qualities I haven’t seen from him today.” 

“Look lady, I know you’re friends with the Dupain-Cheng’s and all, but come on. It doesn’t bother you that they don’t work at all? What’s the point of them calling themselves superheroes anyway? They should just hang up the suits and get real jobs.” 

“They. Can’t.” Alya emphasized. “Did you not just see what happened to Adrien? What if he was working and he had an attack? What then, smart guy?”

“He won’t have attacks if he was doing something with his life!” 

“They are full time parents, and full time heroes! They do more than just ‘rescue cats and make celebrity appearances at charity events’! How can you be so ignorant?!”

“What did you call me!?” 

Screams came from the pool, and the argument halted. 

Mermaidia had made her appearance. 

“I am Mermaidia! You all have grown too soft and comfortable! I’m here to remind you what it was like back when there were akuma!” She laughed, pointed her trident, and turned a child into a fish. 

The party descended into madness, as Mermaidia shot rapidly. None of the teens in the pool escaped, and all turned into various fish and sea creatures. 

Isaac turned into a starfish, and Emma stuck him to her arm. “You’re coming with me. I want you to see how wrong you were.” 

Several adults had tried to escape as well, but Mermaidia stopped them in their run. 

Only those who knew the identity of Hawkmoth, or were previous Miraculous users didn’t panic. Rather, they stood staring, confused. Alya backed away carefully, and escaped into the hotel. Whether Emma purposely let her go or not, she would never know.

“Emma?” Asked Sabine. 

“I’m not Emma anymore, I’m Mermaidia!” She turned Isaac’s father into another starfish, and stuck him on her other arm. “You mocked my parents, but now, they’re the only ones that can save you! Ahahaha!” 

“Emma, stop.” Tom demanded. “You’re a good girl. We can’t let what people say get to us. People will always have their opinions that we disagree with, but we can’t take it personally.” 

“But I can take this personally!” She shouted back. “My father is the greatest man alive, and no one will doubt that when I’m through! Just you see!” 

She turned the rest of the assembled party goers into creatures, before leaping into the pool and disappearing.

—

Ladybug, Chat Noir, Alya, Chloe, Louis, and Hugo all returned to the party, only to find a bunch of fish. 

“What the…?” 

“She’s called Mermaidia,” Alya clarified. “She’s turned everyone into sea creatures. She appeared from the water, so I think she can transport through liquid.”

“She totally can, dude,” said a sea turtle from the pool. 

“Nino?” Asked Chat Noir. 

“Cha dude, what do you think? Pretty fitting for me, huh?” 

“Are you okay?”

“Totally. All the little dudes are too.” He gestured to the fish in the pool. 

“Emma turned the kid and his dad who started the argument into starfish.” Said a sea-snake. “They’re on her arms. So be careful when you attack.”

“Luka?”

“Yep.”  

“Where’s my mom and dad?” 

“Over here!” Called a walrus. There was a crab next to him, waving a claw. “We’re fine, honey. Just save Emma!” 

“Next question,” Said Ladybug, wielding her yo-yo angrily. “Where’s Gabriel?”

Chat Noir rested a hand on her shoulder. “Let’s focus on saving Emma, and then we’ll find him.” 

She sighed. “You’re right, as always, kitty. However, I think we might need some help with this akuma.” She opened her yo-yo and reached inside, pulling out two octagonal boxes. Then she turned to Hugo and Louis. “I hoped to give you your presents later, and hoped you wouldn’t ever have to use them. But desperate times come desperate measures.” 

Hugo and Louis smiled at each other, with excitement. 

“Louis, my wise, observant, and cunning child, this is the Miraculous of the Snake. With it, you can turn back time an infinite amount of times in a five minute duration. You will use it for the greater good.”

“Sweet.” 

“And Hugo, my brave, bold, and exuberant child, this is the Miraculous of the Turtle. With it, you can create an impenetrable shield. You will use it for the greater good.”

“Yes!” 

“Louis, to transform, simply say ’Sass, Scales Slither.’ And Hugo, your phrase is ‘Wayzz, Shell On’.”

“Sass, Scales Slither!”

“Wayzz, Shell On!” 

A flash of green and teal, and the boys were turned into superheroes. They high fived each other. 

“The Reptile Boyz are back in town!” Hugo cheered. 

“Really? ‘Boyz’ with a ‘Z’?” Chat Noir asked flatly.

“It’s cool, old man!” Said Louis. 

“Alright team, let’s focus,” Ladybug said, a bit too fondly for the situation at hand. She took out her yo-yo, and looked for intel. There was a special report live from Nadja Chamack. 

“—Mermaidia is the first Akuma in 20 years! It was thought that Hawkmoth had retired, but it seems he has one ace left up his sleeve. The akuma was last spotted at the Luxembourg park! Hopefully, Ladybug and Chat Noir are on their way! Again, this is a real akuma, so it is advised to stay indoors and away from water!” 

“She’s at the park! Let’s go!” 

—

This wasn’t nearly as scary as Emma thought it would be. In fact, she was having a lot of fun. Hawkmoth did advise her that she would be influenced by her anger, but that really didn’t seem to bother her. It was really fun to turn people into sea creatures. 

Though, she did feel really guilty when she hit people that were crying in fear. 

But that’s what her parents were here for! To undo all this! It was fine! 

“I am Mermaidia! And Ladybug and Chat Noir are your only chance for salvation!” 

“Now now Emma,” Chat Noir spoke from behind. “Go easy on us. We’re a little wet behind the ears.” 

Emma had to stomp down the urge to run and hug her father, and instead declared. “There you are, Ladybug and Chat Noir! Ready to do battle?” 

Ladybug simply crossed her arms. “If you don’t give up your akuma, you’re grounded.” 

Mermaidia stomped her foot. “You can’t ground me if you can’t catch me!” And she leapt into the fountain. 

“She’s escaping!” Cried Hugo. 

“Quick, fan out! Look for sources of water, and call as soon as you get sight of her!” 

—

This was not Hugo or Louis’ first time using a Miraculous. Every once in a while, Marinette and Adrien would allow the children to pick one out to try, and then they’d have a family game of tag out on the Paris rooftops. The rules were to stay safe, and to not allow the media to take pictures. And at the first sign of danger, they were supposed to go home and let Mom and Dad handle it. 

So the boys were familiar with their powers, but boy, they were not ready for the anxiety of an Akuma attack. 

They may have been older, but Emma was still the reigning champion of tag. 

“Find anything?” Louis asked, crossing his brother. 

“Not a scale,” said Hugo. “Have you activated your Second Chance yet?” 

“No, but I will the second we find her. Then if she escapes, we can just reverse time.” 

“Smart.” Then, Hugo’s eyes caught on something in the river. “Huh?”

“What?”

“How often do you think whales go down the Seine?” 

“Uh…never?” 

“There she is! She’s on top of it!” Hugo activated his distress beacon on his shield, making sure to keep up with Emma, but also stay out of sight. 

“We have to play this carefully. She can literally jump into the water and disappear at any second.” 

“Not if there’s no water to disappear into,” said Chat Noir, appearing from nowhere. 

Hugo resisted a scream. “D-Chat! You’re too sneaky!”

“I’ve been doing this a while, kiddo. Ladybug’s not here yet?” 

“No, what’s the plan?”

“I have half a plan…”

“Then it’s a good thing I have half of one too!” Said Ladybug, finally joining them. “After you sent your signal, I called the French Waterway Commission and had them close the lock she’s on.” 

“What did what the what?” Hugo asked. 

“The river is made up of locks,” explained Louis, “chambers that fill and empty with water so boats can travel. The ground isn’t level, and the water level changes.” 

“So Ladybug basically had them dam up the section Emma’s on right now,” said Chat.

“But she can still travel through water, so once she reaches the dam, she’ll just abandon ship, er, whale.” Hugo observed. “So then what?”

“Then we put my plan into action,” Chat cracked his knuckles, and stealthily made his way to the river bank. 

Louis and Hugo watched in fascination as Chat called his Cataclysm and touched the water. In a boiling wave, it rolled quickly past Emma, evaporating as it went. It didn’t even have time to settle, just went up in a cloud of steam. 

The whale that Emma was on run ashore, and she came to a halt. “What?”

“Nowhere to run now, little girl!” Ladybug called. 

Mermaidia jumped from the back of the whale and landed in the sand. It wasn’t even damp. Chat had literally evaporated all the water in that section of the river. 

“Second Chance!” Louis activated his bracelet. And just in time too, as Mermaidia shot a beam at Ladybug, and turned her into a dolphin. “Second Chance!”   

Time restarted, and Louis shouted. “Ladybug, dive!” 

Ladybug dove out of the way, missing the three shots Mermaidia took. 

“I’m not going to take it easy on you just because you’re my mother!” Emma shouted. “So let’s show Paris what a real superhero looks like, hmm?” 

“Oh you are so grounded when this is over, little lady!” She dodged another blast, and called for her Lucky Charm. 

Hugo called for Shelter while she glanced around, looking for the purpose of the tennis racket her Miraculous had bestowed upon her.

Then it dawned on her. 

A grounding wasn’t enough for her naughty child. Oh no. This called for the big guns.

The second Hugo’s Shelter faded, she shot out her yo-yo, catching Emma around the arms, and yanked her to lay across her leg. Hugo and Louis peeled the captive starfish off, while Chat took the trident. All the while Mermaidia wriggled around, fighting against the yo-yo string. 

“No akuma in the trident, my lady.” Chat Noir shrugged. 

“Oh, I’ll get it out of her.” Ladybug raised the tennis racket. “Where’s the akuma at, Emma?” 

“This is cheating!” 

“Okay, you asked for it.” And Ladybug brought the tennis racket down on her bottom, once, twice, three times before Emma cried out. “Okay okay! It’s in my bracelet! Stop! Stop!”

Chat broke the bracelet, freeing the butterfly, as Ladybug set her crying daughter down in the sand. 

She caught and purified the butterfly, and removed everyone from the bank of the river before casting her cure. 

Emma Dupain-Cheng returned, pouting, and still rubbing her behind. “I was just trying to help…” 

“Where’s your Grandfather?” 

“He’s in a conference room at the hotel. But don’t be mad at him, please…” 

Before Ladybug could yell more, Isaac and his father approached her. “Uh, Ladybug?” 

“Yes?”

“Look, I wanted to—we wanted to apologize. Thank you for rescuing us, and I’m sorry. I guess I had forgotten what it was like having akumas around. You still stopped Hawkmoth, right? Well…until today…” 

“Hawkmoth is a friend of ours now,” Ladybug clarified. “He’s paid for his crimes, but today has shown that he hasn’t quite learned the right way to deal with problems. I believe he was well intentioned, but we will be having words.” 

Isaac’s father nudged his son. “You want to say anything?” 

Isaac shyly looked at the family and admitted, “thank you for inviting to the party. No one invites me to things.” 

“Yeah, well, work on your boundary issues, and maybe it’ll happen more often,” said Louis. 

“If you guys want to head back to the hotel, I think there’s still time for cake!” Said Chat, with optimism. 

—

After the Miraculous cure restored the party, everyone gathered again and lunch was served. 

But, the Dupain-Chengs were in the conference room. Marinette and Adrien frowned at their youngest and Gabriel. 

“Now, son--” Gabriel began. 

“What were you thinking?” Adrien interrupted. 

“I was thinking that Paris needed a little reminder of all the hard work you guys did.” 

“Yeah, cool,” sniped Marinette. “Except now they think you’re out of retirement, and that’s a huge reminder that we didn’t stop you!” 

Gabriel took the brooch off. “Then here. Make it official. Tell them that this akuma was my swan-song and I made it to surrender.” 

Marinette took the brooch regardless, and put it in her bag. “I don’t know what I’ll say to the media. They’ll want to know who you are, and if you’re going to prison…and akumatizing your own granddaughter?” 

“I told him I was okay with it!” Said Emma. “I knew what I was getting into. It’s not that big of a deal!” 

“Not that big of a deal!?” 

There was a knock on the door, as Hugo and Louis peeked their heads in. “There you are, Grandfather!” 

“Hi boys,” he smiled at them, softly. 

The twins pushed passed their parents to stand in front of him, arms crossed, just like Marinette and Adrien. 

“What you did was terrible,” Said Louis. 

“So awful,” echoed Hugo. 

“You could have permanently hurt or traumatized people.” 

“Done thousands of dollars of property damage.” 

Gabriel sighed. “I know…I just—“ But he was cut off as the boys wrapped him up in a tight hug. “What?”

“Thanks for the coolest present ever!” 

“Yeah! Mom gave us our Miraculous, but the chance to use them on a real akuma!?” 

“Hey!” Shouted Emma. “I was the akuma! No thanks for me!?”

They gave her a noogie. “Thanks twerp.” 

“You’re a twerp!” 

Marinette and Gabriel met eyes. He gave a sheepish shrug. “I know I’m bad. But I deeply love my family.” 

She then gave up trying to be angry. “Alright fine. I admit it. It was fun to fight an akuma again. But it’s over now!” 

Adrien shook his head fondly. “Thanks for meddling dad.” 

“Your welcome, son.” 

“I want cake!” Hugo shouted. 

“Cake time!” 

“Yay cake!” 

“No cake for Emma. Only broccoli.” Marinette clarified. “You were naughty.” 

“Aw man!!” 

--

AND THAT’S THE END! 

Oh my word this story got AWAY from me! It was only supposed to be maybe 20 chapters when I first started on it? But here we are, a year and a half later, and over 200,000 words! I kinda can’t believe I’m done! 

Anyways, thank you all for sticking around through all the heartache. I appreciated every single review and like. And one parting question: What was your favorite part?

[lovemesomesurveys]

What Rhymes With “AY”? Warning: This survey has 114 questions

1. Do you enjoy listening to reggae music? I haven’t listened to much reggae music.

2. Have you ever rolled in hay before? No. I’m actually allergic.

3. Has anyone ever broken a promise they made? Of course. 

4. Last time you went to a café, what did you order? Coffee.

5. Have you ever been to a matinee performance before? No.

6. Would you like a chance to ride in Santa’s sleigh? Why or why not? Would it be like the one in The Santa Clause that had a hot chocolate and cookie dispenser? ha. Swap the hot chocolate with coffee, though.

7. Have you ever taken ballet lessons before? How about any other type of dance lessons? No. That was actually something I wished I could do when I was a kid and in high school. I thought the dance team was cool.

8. Do you own any sexy lingerie? Nope.

9. Have you ever caught a bouquet of flowers at a wedding before? Nope.

10. Do you know how to do the Whip/Nae Nae? I do, actually.

11. Have you ever played croquet before? Nope. 

12. Has a horse ever neighed at you before? No.

13. How much do you weigh? I’m not exactly sure, but I am definitely underweight. 

14. Do you ever wear a beret? No.

15. When’s the last time you’ve been to a buffet? Back in February. There was a breakfast buffet at Disneyland where you got to visit with various characters while you ate. It was cute.

16. Have you ever attended a cabaret? No.

17. Have you ever eaten at Swiss Chalet? No. Never even heard of it.

18. Do you know how to crochet? How about doing macrame? No.

19. Do you have a duvet on your bed? No.

20. What was the last thing that ricocheted off of a surface? My phone did.

21. What do you put on your ice cream sundaes? I’m good with just vanilla ice cream and strawberry syrup, but sometimes I’ll add chocolate syrup as well. Bananas and whip cream are also great additions. Wow, it’s been yearsss since I’ve had one but that sounds really good right now.

22. Have you ever woken up to the “Reveille” bugle wake-up call at summer camp? No. I’ve never been to summer camp.

23. What is your favorite entrée to order at your favorite restaurant? My favorite restaurant is Wingstop and I always get the garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings.

24. Is crème brulee your favorite dessert? I don’t like actual creme brulee, but I like the creme brulee latte at Starbucks that they offer in the winter.

25. Do you know anyone who wears a toupee? I don’t think so.

26. Have you ever made a soufflé before? Was it good? Nope. I like the spinach and artichoke breakfast souffle from Panera, though.

27. Do you prefer ice cream or sorbet? Ice cream.

28. Do you know anyone named Renee, Jay, Clay, or Ray? I know someone whose middle name is Renee if that counts, and I also know a Jay and a Ray.

29. Have you ever had café au lait? Yes.

30. Have you ever gone to a restaurant called “Chez ______”? No.

31. Hey, how’s it going? It’s almost 730AM I should be going to sleep. My medicine I took a bit ago is making me feel a little nauseous, too, cause I took it on an empty stomach. That wouldn’t have been a problem if I just went to bed, but nooo. :/

32. When’s the last time you wore a lei? It’s been several years.

33. Did you obey your parents when you were younger? Yes.

34. Who do you want to hunt down like prey? No one.

35. Have you ever had whey before? No.

36. What message would you like to convey to someone right now? Nothing at the moment.

37. Whose survey did you take last? I don’t know who made it.

38. Have you ever been to a bay before? Yes.

39. Do you have a bae? “Or nah.” Ha, old Vine reference. Anyway, no, I do not.

40. What’s your favorite day of the week? They’re all the same to me, really, since I’m not in school nor do I have a job.

41. Have you ever had to read “The Cay”? Nope. That title doesn’t ring a bell.

42. Are you feeling okay? I’m feeling tired, hot, and kind of nauseous. 

43. Do you know anyone who is gay? Yeah, a few people.

44. Do you like the acting of Tina Fey? Sure.

45. Have you ever listened to The Fray? Yes, I like a few of their songs.

46. Do you have any frayed clothing? No.

47. Do you prefer bluebirds or bluejays? Bluebirds.

48. Is May your favorite month? No. I only like saying, “It’s gonna be May” haha. You know, the NSYNC/Justin Timberlake meme.

49. May I ask you some more questions? Sure.

50. Have you ever voted “nay” to anything before? What? Yeah. I was a board member for a club in college and there were things we voted on. 

51. Have you ever wanted to make someone pay for something that they did? I’m not a revengeful person.

52. Do you ever just lay around all day? That’s all I pretty much do everyday. 

53. Are you a happy little frickin’ ray of sunshine? No. I’m a little black raincloud. 

54. Is there something that you would like to say to someone? “There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don’t know howwww.” 

55. When’s the last time that you were so excited that you exclaimed (or at least thought) “yay!” ? I said that the other night when my brother said he was making his bomb spaghetti. haha.

56. Have you ever felt like you’ve lost your way? I’ve been feeling that way for the past few years.

57. Do you ever wish that people would just go away? lol I’ve felt that way in some situations.

58. Have you heard an animal bray before? What animal was it? Yeah, a donkey.

59. What’s the last thing that you made out of clay? Nothing.

60. Are you starting to go gray? I’ve found a few here and there. D: It was like the minute I turned 30 I found my first one, ha.

61. Are you feeling okay right now? No. I still feel how I felt earlier when you asked how it was goin’. :/

62. Do you pray? How often? Yes, but not nearly as much as I ought to. 

63. What’s the best play you’ve seen before? The Phantom of the Opera.

64. What did you like to play with when you were younger? I was obsessed Barbies, I could play for hours. I also liked playing house and school.

65. Do you know how to sashay? “Sashay away.”

66. Would you like to slay dragons? Nah. I wouldn’t want to mess with a dragon.

67. Have you gotten your pets spayed? All my dogs were fixed/spayed. My doggo was spayed before we could take her home from the adoption shelter.

68. Have you ever begged someone to stay with you? Not begged, but I didn’t want them to leave.

69. Has the room ever started to sway before? I hateeee that feeling. 

70. When’s the last time you ate a meal on a tray? Uhhh. I don’t recall.

71. Do you know how to do math arrays? You’re speaking math so no. 

72. Have you ever experienced a delay of any sort? Yeah.

73. Do you have any tooth decay? No.

74. When’s the last time you wrote an essay? What was it about? Back when I was still in school, so it’s been 5 years now since the last time. 

75. When’s the last time you competed in a relay race? I participated in a few wheelchair race events when I was a kid.

76. Have you ever wondered how you could ever repay someone? Yes. I wish I could spoil and take care of my mom one day for everything she has done and continues to do for me. She deserves so much.

77. What did you do today? So far just Tumblr, surveys, and listening to ASMR.

78. Would you ever take in a stray animal? We don’t really have room for another pet, but I’d want to help in some way. Once we had a stray dog wander in our backyard and we took care of him until we were able to find him a good home. We also once had a cat who often went into our backyard and she ended up having kittens, so we cared for them and found them all homes, including the mama.

79. What’s the last cleaning spray that you’ve used? Lysol disinfectant spray.

80. When’s the last time you splayed your fingers? I’ll do it right now. 

81. Has your airway ever been blocked before? Yes. Such a scary, traumatizing experience. It’s why I can’t take pills now at all unless I can crush them.

82. Has anyone ever led you astray? In some ways.

83. When it’s hot out, do you sleep with blankets anyways? Noooo. 

84. Have you ever felt betrayed? Yep. Not a nice feeling.

85. When’s the last time you listened to a DJ? My cousin’s quince a few years ago.

86. What’s the last unfortunate thing that happened, to your dismay? This pandemic.

87. When is payday? The 1st of the month (disability). 

88. Do good moments or bad moments replay through your mind more often? My mind likes to dwell on all the bad stuff instead. 

89. Do you prepay for anything? I typically like to pay all my bills at the same time each month instead of waiting until the day each of them are due.

90. Have you ever walked on a runway before? No.

91. Do you know a runaway? No.

92. Have you ever ridden the subway before? How about driven on the skyway? Nope.

93. Have you ever used an ashtray before? No.

94.How do you feel about public displays of affection? I don’t mind a little bit, like a quick kiss, hand holding, arms around each other, or a hug. 

95. Where would you like to go for a getaway? I wish I could rent a beach house and have my own private beach area.

96. Do you do any gateway drugs?  Some say weed is a gateway drug, but I personally never had any interest in try anything beyond that.

97. Have you ever felt like someone wasn’t meeting you halfway? Yes.

98. What were you doing at midday? I’ll be sleeping.

99. Have you ever stopped midway through a survey before?  Yeah, I did that with this one. I started it last night, but got too tired to finish it.

100. What’s your favorite holiday? Christmas.

101. Do you like to drive on the highway/thruway? I don’t drive, but yeah I prefer taking the highway over driving through town and hitting all the red lights.

102. Have you ever put something on layaway before? I haven’t, personally, but I’ve gone shopping with my mom and added stuff of my own along with her’s that she put on layaway.

103. Have you ever been cornered in an alleyway? No.

104. When is your birthday? July 28th. 

105. Do you know anyone who was a castaway? No.

106. How long is your workday? I don’t have a job.

107. What do you typically do on the weekdays? I do the same things everyday.

108. Is there a walkway or a pathway to your front door? Yeah.

109. What do you want to be someday? A functioning adult.

110. What is something that you do everyday? Drink coffee.

111. Do you park in your driveway? Do you even have a driveway? I don’t have a car, but yeah my house has a driveway that my parent’s use for their cars.

112. Have you ever won a giveaway? Yes.

113. How important is foreplay? I wouldn’t know.

114. Hooray! You’ve made it to the end! What are you going to do now? Eat my ramen. I was waiting for it to cool a bit.

[a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

[dontfeedthebear]

Today’s menu!

 Breakfast: 1 overeasy egg, slice of toast, 1 tsp butter, 1 nectarine, cup of coffee with 1tbsp milk + 1tsp sugar. (304 cal) Lunch: 6 veggie pizza stuffed mushrooms over a bed of brown rice. (241 cal) Dinner: Cream of wheat, 2tsp brown sugar, 1/2 grapefruit. (295 cal) Snack: Pickled cucumbers and peppers (30 cal)

TOTAL: 870 cal.

Yes, I am having ‘breakfast’ for dinner. Why? I work night shift, and that ‘dinner’ is actually going to be had at about 7:00 am.

My way of doing things is going to be weird to most people that read this, since I live my life like a nocturnal little gremlin. I’ve never been big on eating in the mornings, I’ve always been a night owl who slept in past breakfast time... I just can’t seem to make myself eat in the morning and if I do, it definitely can’t be anything heavy like burgers or chicken. It just feels wrong.

Some people might ask: “What fad diet are you following?”

The answer is: None... I’m simply eating normal food at the correct portion size. (and counting calories because there’s no losing weight without math apparently.)

I got the idea to diet when I was browsing an antique store and found a really pretty dress from the 1950′s. Waist sizes were an average 11 inches smaller than average waistlines today.

Most old clothing is pretty small, and while it’s to be expected since the 20′s-40′s were a period of scarcity and doing without, the 1950′s were actually an upturn. People had money and they were consumers again! Yay capitalism!

It was also a period of dubious culinary experimentation. I will never, ever let an ‘aspic’ touch my lips. Leftovers are fine. Jello is fine. Together? They make the worst matrimony of both spongy and slippery textures. I imagine it’s a lot like eating boiled slugs gone cold and I will not waste food or time on such revolting endeavors...

So how did they stay so skinny, despite eating jello molds of foods laden with lard, butter, sugar, gluten and everything bad that today’s diet gurus preach against? Simple. Serving sizes were smaller and people actually ate from 7 food groups not the 4 we have today. There were also more veggies and fruit in their diet! Shocking concept I know.

Our food pyramid has changed drastically from that 1950′s model and several times in the last few decades. The 1970′s brought on the beginning of the end to tiny waistlines: the lowfat, high carb diet came into fashion and our waist lines exploded. Turns out that lowfat isn’t exactly the healthiest diet after all. (Not to mention that insipid eggs & wine diet that Vogue reprinted. How vile the bathrooms must have smelled afterwards!)

I have noticed while studying about diets that the trend is to idolize one ‘superfood’ or to gravitate to one type of food group. Atkins, Fruitarianism, anyone? That shit has to stop. We are omnivores, evolved with the teeth and everything. We need a balanced diet, which means a rotating plate of protein, fats, starch, vegetables and fruits. The fad diets need to end, because they are literally killing people. Talk to a doctor if you want to go on a special diet. Not some holistic nutjob though, please. 

Anyway...

My mother was an awful cook. She was the product of a household that just cooked to fill your stomach up and not really about making something that tasted good or was actually good for you. Quantity was the name of the game in my grandmother’s household. I barely remember her meals whenever I visited, most of it was boxed or frozen. My mother continued that trend, sadly.

I associated home cooked meals with rubbery, overcooked chicken, dried out fish fillets, tough as leather pork chops and chewy, stringy cuts of beef. So I lived off sandwiches and snacks like chips, cakes, and cookies. Not to mention my biggest weakness: Soda. I drank liters of the shit at a time and I could not tell you if I ever drank a glass of water as a kid and not be made a liar. I’ve probably permanently damaged my kidneys and liver from filtering coca-cola for years. (how my teeth survived this long is a miracle!)

I always hated pork and fish. I was extremely picky about beef too. Chicken was on thin ice, but I only liked it fried or smothered in cheese. I ate a lot of pasta, rice, and bread.

It clicked for me when I went to dinner at a friend’s house and her parents cooked salmon. I was paralyzed with the fear of being rude but salmon was the number one fish I despised. It was like eating tuna from a can but served hot and with a strong biting aftertaste. So I took a small portion with the intent to gag it down and fill my stomach with some rice.

Imagine my consternation when the salmon was soft, delicate and not ‘fishy’ at all. It tasted of butter, lemon and salt and I think I ate two helpings of it. Puzzled, I asked them what kind of salmon it was-- they said frozen sockeye, which really confused me because that was the same thing my mother used.

Eating my mother’s salmon the next week confirmed my fears: She couldn’t cook and I didn’t hate certain foods. I just couldn’t stomach her cooking. I think mom had a deep fear of food poisoning, which is why she cooked every piece of meat in our house to death. I never asked why and I never told her how I felt and she lives in ignorance of her failing every day. (My siblings know though, I caught their blank 50 yard stares when we visited her a few months back and had to eat her shoeleather porkchops.)

I was not confident in cooking for myself either, because I didn’t have anyone to teach me. Youtube wasn’t around at that time-- and even if it was I didn’t know about it. Ah, the infancy of the internet... I’m so glad the information highway has expanded today because now I have taught myself quite a lot of things besides how to actually cook a slice of meat or bake a cake.

Times have  certainly changed, sometimes for the worst. But a free and open internet is one thing I hope never changes, because I want to learn how to sew next.

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: STRANGER THINGS 3

Stranger Things season 3 is here!!!!! Bust out your 80s nostalgia and demogorgon attitude because I fully don’t remember where we left off but Netflix kind of reminded me in a very extended recap that was definitely too long? Whatever, let’s just discuss the wigs! (AND MUCH MORE).

As with last season (and any season of TV I review) I will be adding each episode to this post and then changing my wig verdict as the season progresses. 

CHAPTER ONE: SUZIE DO YOU COPY?

We begin with two tweens making out and YUCK I really don’t want to live through this! I share this opinion with Sheriff Hopper who has to live through these make out sessions that are scored by 80s soft rock music. Even more insulting: THESE HAIRCUTS. I don’t know at what point these kids are gonna outgrow their bowlcuts but the answer seems to be a resounding: NEVER. Also Elle’s hair has finally grown out! TO THIS?!?!?! What overprocessed curly nightmare is this?! I feel like they were going for a Jennifer Grey situation but if that’s the case, I’ll be needing like 110% more hairspray and like 200% more dancing ability, please.

Anyway, the real news in town is: THERE’S A MALL NOW! It’s called Starcourt which is the most 80s sounding name ever and it is home to SCOOPS AHOY ice cream shoppe where Steve and Uma Thurman/Ethan Hawke’s daughter works. This whole storyline is incredibly Fast Times at Ridgemont High themed but Steve’s hair is still very wonderful. Also he can get all the tweens into the movie theater which is showing Day of the Dead and I get it Stranger Things: YOU ARE MAKING ALL THE 80S MALL REFERENCES. 

Also: Dustin is back from camp! It was a science camp called Camp KNOW where and I am definitely gonna see some assholes in this shirt this summer. Anyway, this storyline was all about Dustin forcing his friends into helping him with a radio tower to talk to his possibly fake girlfriend named Suzie and truly: meh.

Meanwhile: WINONA’S SEASON 3 WIG! I’ve gotta say, this season is the best season of wig for Winona. Sure, it is still very much a mess (as is she after the untimely death of her boyfriend Rudy Reuttiger!) but it’s the best wig she’s had so far so MAZEL!

Elsewhere, the most boring teen couple in America (aka Nancy and Will’s brother whose name I won’t learn) are working at the local newspaper and Nancy’s whole job seems to be fetching hamburgers for an entire room of #MeToo examples. Her hair is business chick 80s which is to say: on brand but I could use about 90% more Working Girl, please. 

And now let’s get to the only storyline I truly cared about: Nancy’s mom Karen Wheeler (aka Carla Buono). Every season, her wig brings the drama and glamour I crave in an 80s-based TV show. The arc of her wig story is truly the story of America - from 70s disco queen to bored early 80s housewife to the wig we see today - 80s mall glamour queen. AND I AM HERE FOR IT. She and the other ladies of the Hawkins Town Pool are unfortunately here for the worst character on this show: BILLY.

UGH BILLY. I will give this show major props for having his entrance to the same music playing when Phoebe Cates gets out of the pool in Fast Times (second Fast Times reference in this episode tho) but it’s a gender reversal I can definitely get behind. HOWEVER BILLY IS THE WORST. Within 2 seconds of his entrance, he fat shames a tweenager and also HAS THE WORST WIG.

Nothing has changed much from last season on this wig front. It is still very much a curly dried out MESS which is very much trying to reference Rob Lowe in St. Elmo’s Fire yet this bish has yet to wail on a saxophone or talk about granny panties so truly: no redeeming qualities here. 

This does not dissuade Carla Buono from falling under the spell of Billy’s terrible wig. To be fair, her husband is a constantly napping Reagan supporter of indeterminate middle age. Anyway, the episode ends with her getting 80s GLAMOUROUS for a latenight rendezvous with Billy at a fleabag hotel. Billy, however, is run off the road by falling/exploding rats (?) and then dragged into a dirty warehouse full of said exploding rats which truly is the fate I wanted for him and his bad rattail so: COSIGN.

CHAPTER TWO: MALL RATS

We begin with Billy in the rat-infested warehouse being very much alive, so already: I’M ANGRY WITH THIS EPISODE. However, Billy and his awful wig have definitely been through the ringer and he’s about to high-tail it out of there when he comes face to face with: HIMSELF?!?! I don’t know what sort of US crossover this is supposed to be...can we get Jordan Peele on the horn about this? Anyway, he drives out of there in his now somehow completely fine car that didn’t work about 5 minutes ago and then stops at the most bizarrely situated telephone booth literally in the middle of nowhere. I thought this might be a Bill & Ted crossover but nope: he just tries to call 911 before all the electricity bails on that plan.

In other telephone news, Mike has been shook to his core by Sheriff Hopper and tells Elle that he can’t see her and makes up some lies about his grandma. Queen on the scene/his mom Karen and her GLAMOROUS PERFECTION WIG are somehow listening in (KAREN!!!!) and she’s concerned about grandma now too. Everyone back at the pool is concerned about Billy/”Billy” (not sure if he’s the real thing or a mole person version or a possessed alien version - probably the latter) and he is straight up RUDE to Karen so definitely: EFF YOU BILLY ALWAYS. There are also a bunch of shots of the back of his nightmare wig that gave me the shivers. Oh, and he fully kidnaps the other lifeguard as a human sacrifice to a demogorgon blob so definitely: EFF YOU BILLY x100000.

This episode also introduced MAYOR CARY ELWES! This is very good casting and this whole storyline seems like an homage to Jaws so: OK! Also Sheriff Hopper asked Winona’s season 3 wig (which is still good!) on a date/nondate which she definitely didn’t attend because she had far more important lessons to learn about magnets and that’s probably the best reason to stand up a dude ever.

Elsewhere, boring couple is investigating some weird rat/fertilizer situation at an old lady’s house and basically I didn’t pay attention to this part because it was boring and it involved exploding rats so: hard pass. Nancy’s hair looked fine. Jonathan’s hair is a mess. The end.

The rest of the episode was devoted to the only kind of rats I like: MALL RATS! Over at Scoops Ahoy, my favorite bromance between Steve and Dustin was rekindled and truly it is a beautiful thing. 

However, Maya Hawke and her language skills (which are romance based, not Russian but whatever!) come into play to translate the Soviet message Dustin intercepted. They somehow translate it (SURE?) and also Maya’s hair is about as 80s as John Travolta’s 70s costumes were in 50s-set Grease. This hair is pure 2019 and you do you Stranger Things. THE DEMOGORGON’S IN THE DETAILS ALWAYS. 

Meanwhile, Mike is BUMMED about having to lie to Elle so he brings Lucas and Will along with him to the mall to...buy something for Elle to erase the lie he told her? The whole time Will kept asking when they could leave and play D&D and the whole time I wanted these boys to not have bowl cuts anymore.

In the most important storyline, Elle teamed up with Max to have a LADIES DAY AT THE MALL AND I WAS HERE FOR IT! Max does not seem like the kind of chick who is into fashion or commercialism but her overriding guidance of finding yourself through consumerism and forsaking any sad feelings about boys is just good TV. Retail therapy is great!

And I’m sorry but there is absolutely no better cinema than an 80s makeover montage to effing MATERIAL GIRL. YES PLEASE.

Elle also used her powers to prank some asshole chicks at the Orange Julius and this whole part of the show felt very Girls Just Want To Have Fun (the movie but I guess also the song) so VERY YES PLEASE.

THEY EVEN TOOK EFFING GLAMOUR SHOTS. CAN YOU EVEN?! THIS IS EVERYTHING! I don’t know who funded this amazing afternoon at the mall since Max’s parents seem like pretty absentee wrong-side-of-the-tracks types and clearly this whole mall fiasco goes against everything Sheriff Hopper stands for but whatever logic: YAY MALL!

In the end, Elle calls out Mike on his lie and DUMPS HIS ASS! GIRL POWER! MALL POWER! ICE CREAM POWER 4EVER!

CHAPTER THREE: THE CASE OF THE MISSING LIFEGUARD

My favorite bromance, Dustin and Steve, are on the hunt for Russians in the mall! This whole plot is ridiculous and wonderful. They think they’re really onto something here (and maybe they are?) and just need to find some guy with blonde hair and a duffle bag (like all Russians!) When they find someone who fits that description, he turns out to be a FABULOUS aerobics instructor and I like what everyone has done here with the gay or European? trope.

Meanwhile, Hopper comes home from being stood up with bottle of Chianti and general sense of hopelessness when everything takes a turn for the GREAT because Elle isn’t making out with Mike - she’s found a great galpal and they’re having a sleepover. Halleluj all over the place! Elle deserves a great galpal and Max is pretty awesome and can ALMOST land an ollie so I say amen. Winona’s season 3 wig (still great!) shows up and explains about magnets and then they go back to the lab and find an actual Russian (not an aerobics instructor!) but then he hightails it out of there with no other explanation other than the fact that he might be the Terminator and/or just a motorcycle enthusiast.

Anyway, Elle and Max have the best sleepover EVER by using Elle’s sensory deprivation skills to spy on the boys and truly this is the What Men Want crossover no one wanted but sure! (PS the answer is Doritos belches and farts UGH BOYS). 

Beyond that, what Will wants is to just play D&D IN THIS GODDAMNED ELEGANT CAPE, OK?! Mike and Lucas go along with it for a bit, but they are just too girl crazy to concentrate on being a nerd for long. Mike yells at Will, “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls” which is interesting phraseology since the internet really wants Will to be gay and only time will tell but honey: the cape eleganza story you’re serving is pretty fabulous, just sayin! (THE DEMOGORGON’S IN THE DETAILS ALWAYS). 

Anyway, after some fun sensory deprivation visions of the guys doing stupid stuff, Elle and Max decide to invent a whole spin-the-bottle inspired game to see what other dudes in Hawkins are up to and dammit if the bottle didn’t land on my wig nemesis BILLY. Elle sees that he’s up to some pretty effed up nonsense involving kidnapping that other lifeguard so they decide to investigate IN THE RAIN.

The rest of the episode is mainly devoted to fabulous 80s raincoat fashion and I WAS HERE FOR IT. Beyond these great raincoat lewks, most of the rest of the cast also rocked some fab 80s raincoats (excepting Will who got soaked destroying his childhood fort and Steve who OF COURSE was wearing a members only jacket but jokes on him bc that rain totally dented his ‘do). 

Anyway, Elle and Max go over to the missing lifeguard’s house and OF COURSE her dad is the #1 asshole that boring couple works with (oh also they did more boring investigating which resulted in an old lady eating fertilizer. Meh). But shocker: BILLY AND HIS AWFUL WIG WERE THERE TOO.

LOOK AT THE SIDE OF THIS DAMN WIG. Truly, this wig IS the demogorgon of this season.

Anyway, double shocker: THE LIFEGUARD ALSO WAS THERE! Or I guess a possessed version of her since this plotline is getting less US and more Invasion of the Body Snatchers (no need to return my call anymore, Jordan Peele). Also possession or not, this chick’s side pony and wispy bangs are the true terrors (second only to Billy’s wig). 

Also can we talk about Billy’s mustache for a second? IT IS SO DISGUSTING. That’s all I have to say. I don’t want to look at it any further.  Also look at how dried out this wig is and this whole episode involves torrential rain. I DEMAND MORE WIG HUMIDITY DAMMIT.

Anyway, Max and Elle (smartly) hightail it out of there right before Billy and the lifeguard attack her parents for further demogorgon possessions and we get one last terrifying view of Billy’s wig. HORRIFYING.

CHAPTER FOUR: THE SAUNA TEST

So I’m really liking the whole Elle and Max vibe going along here. I also like that they weren’t dissuaded by the whole Billy being a possessed demogorgon thing to spoil their sleepover. IT CONTINUES! And not only that, Max is literally introducing  WONDER WOMAN TO ELLE. I could watch an entire episode of this also because both of their hair isn’t too offensive and they’ve both discovered scrunchies. Mazel! But of course, the guys call in a code red and they have to hightail it over there to fix everything. Ain’t it always the way, ladies?

I would like to take a moment to talk about bowl cuts. So far, I have just lumped both Will and Mike’s bowl cuts into “awful” territory as all bowl cuts are awful. However, this episode gets a lot of shots of the back of Will’s head (because the back of his neck is always sensing those goddamned demogorgons). Anyway, it became very clear in this episode just how terrible this wig is as opposed to Mike’s terrible bowl cut actual hair. I consulted the internet, and apparently the kid who plays Will CUT HIS HAIR (which he was contractually obligated NOT to do) days before shooting began and the wigmaster had to scramble and make a wig literally out of the childhood cut hair of one of her assistants. READ IT ALL HERE. Despite her hustle, this wig sucks in the way that all man wigs suck: the back taper is just all off!! And with all those closeups of Will’s neck it is VERY DISTRACTING!! Billy officially is not the only one with a terrible man wig this season. But his is still the worst!

It did hide a bit under this sweet NIAGARA FALLS hat this episode. And his oily bohunk body was hidden under this sweatshirt which was a dead giveaway to all the kids that SOMETHING WAS AMISS HERE since Billy can barely keep a shirt on at school let alone the pool. Since Will knows that demogorgons (specifically the mind flayer?) like it CHILL, everyone was all: THIS DUDE IS STRAIGHT UP POSSESSED. Great work, kids! Also honestly, this whole lewk was giving me Weekend At Bernies realness and I was here for it (since it implies that Billy is dead which I would like very much please). 

Meanwhile, Hopper’s anger management issues get PEAK BLOODY when he just beats the shit out of Cary Elwes (who is technically kind of his boss?) in demanding answers about that Terminator/motorcycle enthusiast who beat the shit out of HIM last episode. Oh, and just an FYI: Winona’s season 3 wig was along for the ride and was still looking great! I cannot say the same for Cary Elwes’s face!

Over at Scoops Ahoy, Steve and his superior wigless mane are doing some serious air duct work with the help of Lucas’s precocious sister. This whole plotline begs the question: do any of the parents of Hawkins ever know where their kids are?

Meanwhile, boring couple is on the rocks after having a really boring fight about whether it’s worse to be a woman or poor and they called it a draw I guess? Anyway, I haven’t spent much time talking about Nancy’s hair which is starting to look a little lumpy honestly and the article I read (link above) told me the bizarre fun fact that most of this hair is real and permed (duh) but that part of the undercarriage is remnants from Winona’s season 1 wig which is obviously why it looks so shitty. The more you know!

Anyway, after being fired by the #metoo boss (who is now also demogorgon possessed) for wanting to investigate why that old lady with the fertilizer eating rats is now also eating fertilizer, she turned to her mom - the one and only queen of Hawkins glamour - KAREN WHEELER. LOOK AT THIS GODDAMNED PERFECT LEWK. Mama Karen ended up giving her a very great motivational pep talk that legit made me cry (SERIOUSLY) about how she had to keep fighting and get the world out about this effed up fertilizer situation. She also delivered a sick burn about her constantly napping husband. I LOVE YOU KAREN.

Back at the town pool, all the kids concocted a Home Alone-style booby trap to get Billy into the sauna, crank up the heat, and prove that there is a heat-hating demogorgon inside him. It kind of worked except they also almost died during the battle royale between Billy’s inner demon (literal this time) and Elle. 

Also I know that I demanded wig humidity last time but this is NOT WHAT I MEANT OMG THIS WIG IS A GHOSTMARE. Anyway, Elle saved the day (duh) for now by throwing Billy through a brick wall like he was the Kool-Aid man but seems like he’s forming a demogorgon army of possessed mole people so seems like it’s gonna be one crazy summer, you guys!

CHAPTER FIVE: THE FLAYER

Straight off the bat: this was a weird episode because it included neither my least favorite wigwearer, Billy, nor (SOB) my favorite wig wearer, KAREN WHEELER. So we were left with a bunch of other randos, mainly Soviets. We begin with Winona’s season 3 wig (looking a little rough around the edges in this episode, I am sad to report) and Hopper, fresh off the info he beat out of Mayor Cary Elwes, high tailing it to some farm owned by The Terminator dude. Under his bed, they find a bunker with these two dudes in it. Good morning!

Terminator dude, obvs shows up fairly immediately and lots of yelling, guns, and machismo ensue. In the end, the Terminator is briefly subdued by a fallen bookshelf and Winona’s season 3 wig, Hopper, and one of the rando Soviets escape but not without car troubles because: of course?

After Hopper’s truck explodes, they are all forced to walk through the woods while Winona’s season 3 wig hilariously tries to ask the non-English-speaking Soviet dude about magnets. It’s all pretty silly stuff but I’m here for Winona’s season 3 wig to get some comedic scenes instead of long suffering Christmas light crying scenes.

Anyway, they find a 7-11 where a lot of product placement and caffeine takes place, as well as Hooper yelling a lot for no reason which is essentially his entire character this season. Get some anger management classes, dude! Also the rando Soviet gets a slushie so between that and Billy’s icee last episode: WHAT A TIME FOR FLAVORED ICE WATER!

My absolute favorite part of the episode came next when Hooper commandeered a sweet convertible from this yuppie asshole. I’m not sure how often police commandeer vehicles in real life but I love it when they do it in movies because it’s always taking a car from some pompous idiot who clearly doesn’t deserve to drive (see: Speed, So I Married An Axe Murderer, etc). You can’t get more pompous or idiotic than this yuppie (named Todd, of course?!) with both a popped Polo shirt AND a blazer with zhuzhed sleeves AND white pants. THE NERVE OF THIS GUY FOR EVEN EXISTING! PLEASE TAKE HIS CAR! OMG HIS LICENSE PLATE IS TDFTHR! EVERYTHING IS JUSTIFIED!

Then Hopper, Winona’s season 3 wig, and the rando Soviet drive directly to Murray’s compound in Illinois. I’m bummed we have to suffer through Murray and his existence again since I’ll never forgive him for the gross pull-out couch jokes he made about #boringcouple’s sex romp at his house but here we are. He DOES speak Russian so let’s just get through this translation. Oh and obviously the Terminator dude questioned the 7-11 clerk so he’s probably on his way to Murray’s house now, hopefully to kill him so I don’t have to suffer through any more of his gross sex jokes. 

Meanwhile, the Scoops Ahoy spy crew are still locked in that elevator they took way into the bedrock of earth/logic but somehow manage to escape when some (more!) rando Soviets come to unlock some deliveries. Then they discover the whole Soviet plan to reopen the Upside Down while also not being noticed by one single Soviet (great security, dudes!) except for this one Soviet who Steve beats up (GO STEVE!) I’d also like to say that Steve’s superior wigless mane is truly wonderful in this episode. The lights from the underground labs really bring out his summer highlights and it’s truly a thing of beauty. Uma Thurman’s daughter continues to have a 2019 beach wave blunt instagram cut not welcome in this 80s narrative please but otherwise she’s fine. 

Over with #boringcouple, they got back together I guess? Remember at the end of season 1 when we were all deeply offended that Nancy was still with Steve and NOT Will’s brother (I refuse to believe he has an actual name). How things have changed! If Steve ever took back Nancy, I would be personally DEEPLY OFFENDED so I guess it’s fine she’s just still a #boringcouple but it’s still boring you guys. Even more boring: the actors are a couple in real life and have been for years! I just found this out this week and found it DEEPLY BORING.

Anyway, #boringcouple teams up with the tween gang to solve this whole fertilizer eating mystery and Nancy totally mommed it up when she put her shitty perm back in a banana clip and told all the kids to buckle up so she could drive her parents’ wood-paneled station wagon and honestly this section felt very Adventures in Babysitting so I’ll allow it. Also Will’s bro’s hair always looks like it was cut by a weed wacker and I’m not sure if this is a comment on his socioeconomic plight but truly Winona’s season 3 wig should get her kids better haircuts please. If her wig can improve so can theirs. In any case, at the missing lifeguard’s house, they vaguely put together some blood-related clues and then decide to visit the fertilizer eating grandma in the hospital.

Only fertilizer eating grandma ain’t there, hunties! Also please return all those flowers to their vase, please. Instead, #boringcouple apologized to each other for their boring fight in an elevator and then had to fight two possessed #metoo bros from the newspaper (which was very satisfying) while Elle and Mike basically starred in an M&Ms commercial in the waiting room. I honestly was hoping that #boringcouple would get possessed too but they ended up being ok (SIGH) and the back of Will’s bowl cut wig sensed danger so I guess Elle is just gonna have to fix everything in the next episode or 3. 

CHAPTER SIX: E PLURIBUS UNUM

We begin, UGH, with #boringcouple who are still battling with (part of?) the mind flayer in the hospital and Nancy gets very Sigourney Weaver in Alien and I thought she was about to get flayed but sadly Elle saved her ass. Back at Hooper’s bunker, the whole gang is still basically relying Elle for both protection and sensory deprivation recon. Nancy gels her hair up for some reason (I hope she used DEP!) and Will keeps getting the tingles on the back of his terrible bowl cut wig. Max and Mike have a battle royale about who cares about Elle more and whether women can make their own decisions about their own telepathic powers which Nancy rightfully weighs in on (you go gurl?) But honestly, no one was protecting Elle from the real catastrophe here: WEARING CRISS CROSS SUSPENDERS THE WHOLE GODDAMNED EPISODE. Suspenders are fine and I’m glad Elle has found fashion, but maybe the kids can elect one of them as Elle’s suspenders advocate to avoid this in the future?

Meanwhile, Terminator dude still hasn’t caught up with Murray (sadly) and everyone in his bunker is still very much alive, at least until they die of lung cancer (ZING!) Anyway, Murray does a lot of Russian translation, rando Soviet dude throws a diva fit about slurpee flavors, Hopper continues his reign of anger management/alcoholism problems, and Winona’s season 3 wig is honestly not looking great. They do somehow figure out what the Russians are doing under Starcourt (they even make diagrams and use a lot of Burger King product placement to reenact nuclear scanarios!) And Hopper calls a secure line to demand backup back in Hawkins. Okay?

Back in Hawkins, Bloody Bloody Cary Elwes seems to have recovered from Hopper’s beating pretty nicely (as long as he keeps those shades on) and is very much invested in the 4th of July county fair he is PRODUCING (he even made signs crediting himself!) The Terminator dude demands answers about Hooper but no matter: JUST ENJOY THIS FAIR RIDE!

Speaking of people getting face beatings, Steve is getting absolutely SAVAGED by the Soviets. It was honestly very heartbreaking because he has somehow become the male MVP of this show, partially to do with his hair god status (EVEN WITH A BLOODY FACE HIS HAIR LOOKS SO GREAT!) but also because he’s become a really sweet guy and I just want him to catch a damn break! (Tho please continue to be broken up with Nancy - dear god!) 

We shouldn’t be too worried about him getting back together with Nancy, though, because if it wasn’t clear from the moment Uma Thurman’s daughter was introduced: THESE TWO ARE OBVS GETTING TOGETHER. Her hair is still a very 2019 distraction but she’s def an upgrade from Nancy. However, after taking some weird Soviet truth serum (probably just LSD, right?) she admits that she harbored a crush on him way back in the 10th grade and also totally undermines her cool outsider status by admitting that all losers want to be popular (I DON’T KNOW IF ALL LOSERS STAND BY THIS GURL I HOPE THIS IS JUST THE LSD TALKING!) This whole section gives a lot of Some Kind of Wonderful realness and honestly that is a lesser John Hughes work so I’m not sure I can give any of this a passing grade. However, Dustin and my new favorite sass machine, Erica save the day with a nuclear cow prod! GREAT WORK KIDS! ALSO YOUR PARENTS DEFINITELY DON’T CARE WHERE YOU ARE! Speaking of parents, yet again the glamour of KAREN WHEELER did not grace itself in this episode and we were all worse for it.

Back at Hopper’s cabin, Elle decides to go nuclear with her sensory deprivation recon and we all have to welcome BILLY (UGH BILLY) and his terrible wig back. Anyway, he pushes her further into the recesses of his memory/all logic on an astral plane that can only be described as the place where Michelle Pfeiffer was in the Ant-Man sequel (IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT HOW VERY DARE YOU). So we get a lot of terrible childhood flashbacks which try to show Billy’s abusive tendencies to be learned from his horrible upbringing and truly: DO NOT MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT BILLY.

JUST LOOK AT THIS IDIOT. NO THANK YOU PLEASE. Despite the humidity of his entire body, his wig remains a dried out hellscape that I would love to never see again for the rest of my days. Also he almost traps Elle in the astral plane they’re on JUST LIKE MICHELLE PFEIFFER IN THAT ANT-MAN MOVIE) but she escapes into the arms of Mike (fine sure) and then Billy explains that he and and his army of mole people have been waiting for Elle this whole time and: REALLY? That seems very specific but you do you, mole people. Oh also all those mole people (grandma fertilizer included!) all file into the rat warehouse and shapeshift into a disgusting mind flayer/demogorgon/blob nightmare. YAY!

CHAPTER SEVEN: THE BITE

Welcome to the Fun Fair (a Mayor Cary Elwes production!) Somehow he recovered from his terrible face beating to show some FACE at this thing. The whole town is there and ready for some 4th of July FUN that will definitely not be ruined by Russians or demogorgons. 

Most importantly, this episode gave us the triumphant return of KAREN WHEELER! HER HAIR LOOKS AMAZING! She is bringing full out bouffant glamour to the Fun Fair and damn if she didn’t have this lewk done at Dolly Parton’s salon in Steel Magnolias. IT IS THAT GOOD.  Clearly employing the “higher the hair the closer to god” theory - and not just hair-wise actually because this bish bribed some carnie to stop the ferris wheel at its highest point so that she and her family (at least the part of her family whose whereabouts she knows about) can enjoy some FIREWORKS. KAREN YOU MINX I LOVE YOU! HOW ARE YOU STILL MARRIED TO THIS DUDE IN GOLF PANTS?!

The top of the ferris wheel is also a perfect place to see the incoming demogorgon!! The back of Will’s bowl cut is getting the tingles too. And before Elle can fully explain her trip into Billy’s beach memories, the mind flayer is THERE, y’all, busting through the roof of Hopper’s cabin like it’s straight out of a 50s b-movie. I would like to note that for ONCE Winona’s house isn’t about to get trashed so mazel! #Boringcouple armed themselves with guns and axes but obvs they prove completely useless and the flayer is about to steal Elle away when they make a human chain and are victorious...FOR NOW.

Meanwhile, Dustin and Erica are dealing with a very drugged up Steve and Uma Thurman’s daughter and decide to lay low in a showing of (WHAT ELSE?): Back to the Future! They actually show so much of this movie that I’m assuming the entire wig budget went straight to Robert Zemeckis. 

Over in the TDFTHER convertible, Winona’s season 3 wig is looking a damn MESS as is all the side projection of them getting back to Indiana. There’s a lot of bickering between Winona’s season 3 wig and Hopper and finally my beloathed Murray has to meet his gross sex talk quota for the season and tells both of them to just have sex already and then he and the Soviet dude laugh a lot and OMG GET ME OUT OF THIS CONVERTIBLE.

#Boringcouple and the kids smash into a supermarket to get Elle some medical help for the leg that the flayer effed up. I’m not sure why a hospital wasn’t an option but it’s probably so there could be more 80s product placement like Mr. T cereal and a whole actual conversation about New Coke. Nancy’s hair is still VERY depped up. Max seems to have the most medical training from skateboard injuries and fixes Elle up pretty well while the dudes prove completely useless other than finding a treasure trove of fireworks. I guess most importantly, Elle was reunited with her ain’ true love: EGGOS. They hightail it out of there with a ton of fireworks that they definitely won’t (lol jk) use later. Oh and Elle’s blood kind of comes alive and Billy and his shitty wig come back to sniff her out. Gross. 

Speaking of gross, Steve and Uma’s daughter left the very confusing (for them) screening of Back to the Future to go stare at the Starcourt ceiling to the point of barfing (which I honestly did not need to see TWICE or at all!) The barf did get the LSD out of their systems so now it’s time for truth talk and LURVE TALK! I really have to hand it to Steve for being completely face beaten and bloody and covered in barf and still having enough swagger to admit to Uma’s daughter that he has feelings for her (despite her 2019 hair) and just when I thought this show was so predictable, Uma’s daughter comes out as a LESBIAN!! What? Okay! To his credit, Steve pivots pretty easily to ally/friend and truly: HE IS THE BEST AND WE DO NOT DESERVE HIM. ALSO PLEASE GET HELP ON YOUR FACE WOUNDS AND YOUR HAIR STILL LOOKS GREAT. 

NOR DO WE DESERVE THIS MUCH GLAMOUR TWICE IN ONE EPISODE. Karen Wheeler may look great but damn if she knows where her (or Winona’s season 3 wig’s) kids are. But let’s just enjoy this space ship ride! Also a rando carnie calls Hopper “Magnum” and: sick burn. Also there is a woman dressed up as Uncle Sam at the fun fair and between this drag king realness, Uma’s daughter, that one Jazzercise instructor, and (maybe/probably) Will, I’m so ready to throw a Hawkins Pride Parade. Karen is already wearing rainbow stripes!

Elsewhere at the fun fair, Alexei is having the time of his damn life winning a Woody Woodpecker with the support of 10000 children. Sadly, his joy is cut short when the Terminator dude kills him in cold blood. HARSH. Also Murray chooses to blame himself for not guarding him like he was supposed to and instead buying a corn dog. I AGREE, MURRAY: THIS IS YOUR FAULT PLEASE LEAVE. Then Hopper has a whole sequence with the Terminator dude (and some other rando Soviet baddies) in the funhouse which is the second time this season which felt like a weird homage to US and I guess I need to get Jordan Peele on the horn again about this. Anyway, Hopper gets ANOTHER face beating and so does Cary Elwes from Winona’s (also beat) season 3 wig. 

Back at the mall, Steve and company are trying to just slip out with the rest of the movie crowd from Back to the Future but the Soviets are totally onto them and it looks like they’re about to be killed when (AGAIN) Elle saves the day by throwing a Chrysler LeBaron on them. GREAT WORK! Unfortunately, Elle is also receiving a threatening phonecall from a mini demogorgon and the call is coming from: INSIDE HER LEG. 

CHAPTER EIGHT: THE BATTLE OF STARCOURT

So this demogorgon situation with Elle’s leg is pretty severe so Will’s brother (again name NOT NECESSARY) prepares for mall surgery based on stuff found at the Panda Express and literally gave her a wooden spoon to bite on as if this was happening during the Revolutionary War. The demogorgon leg removal is not working so as always, Elle just DID IT HERSELF because she may be the only capable person in this mall/town. 

Hopper and Winona’s season 3 wig (not looking great) and (UGH) Murray show up and everyone compares notes on how to fix this whole mindflayer situation. Most importantly, Erica outsasses Murray and wins. Steve (rightly) gets the keys to the TDFTHER convertible to take him, Uma’s daughter, Dustin and Erica (now known as Scoops Troop) to Dustin’s radio tower. The rest of the tweens plus #boringcouple (now known as The Griswold Family because sure) are getting sent to Murray’s bunker and can’t they maybe stop and get Elle some medical attention on the way? No matter: they’re not going anywhere because Billy, possessed or not, still knows way too much about cars and stole their damn ignition cable. DAMMIT BILLY. 

Steve is driving the Scoops Troop up a damn hill to the radio tower while listening to Jackie Wilson’s Higher and Higher which I’m sure is a Ghostbusters 2 reference and also Uma’s daughter looks exactly like her in the convertible driving part of Kill Bill and honestly all of these pop cultural references are getting tiring. Anyway, from the top of the radio tower, they can see the demogorgon closing in on the mall and Steve and Uma’s daughter hightail it back there. 

At the mall, Elle is having some trouble moving that LeBaron to get the ignition cable - she can’t even move a damn coke can. WHAT GIVES? This does beg the question: since she has literally done all the heavy lifting this season, could she maybe call in a favor from her telepathic sister in Chicago? Why did this show even introduce that character - just to check off “punks” on their 80s pop culture list (note: DEFINITELY) But seriously, it’s like when Marvel makes a stand-alone superhero movie after an Avengers movie. SOMEONE GET THAT PUNK CHICK ON THE HORN!!! Anyway, Will gets some back of bowl cut tingles and the damn demogorgon smashes through the roof. Elle, Mike, and Max make a run for it through the gap, where the demogorgon confuses a mannequin wearing Elle’s same clothing and truly: the gap would NEVER sell this graphic eleganza! Did Esprit just not want to be involved in this whole mess because that is where she would have bought that. The rest of the tense gap scene plays out basically exactly like the kitchen scene in Jurassic Park. Meanwhile, #boringcouple is doing boring auto work while Billy just endlessly stalls in his evilmobile but is about to hit them when MVP hair god Steve saves the day and everyone piles into the station wagon. YAY!

Elsewhere, the Terminator dude has made it to the Soviet subbasement where Hooper, Winona’s season 3 wig and (UGH) Murray are now in Soviet apparel. Winona’s season 3 wig (looking great hidden under that hat) and Hopper have a nice talk and make plans for a legit date which definitely won’t be derailed by a demogorgon (lol jk jk). Murray manages to infiltrate the room where all the wires control the nuclear weapon the Soviets are using to open up the Upside Down and why wasn’t this room better guarded? Oh well. Much like sucking at guarding Soviets and not buying corndogs, Murray sucks at remembering important numbers which are the combination for the nuclear keys. 

Of course the code is some nerdy equation that requires Dustin to ask fellow nerd (and girlfriend Suzie who exists!) for help. But not before Suzie demands that Dustin sing....The Neverending Story theme song. This is peak 80s cultural reference and we can all go home now. Also it is mainly an excuse for Galen Matarazzo to sing and sure: he and this chick sound great! Now please get those damn keys! 

Elle,  Max and Mike are confronted with (unfortunately still alive) Billy who beats the shit out of all of them and takes Elle. She’s about to get flayed when Lucas and Will throw all those damn fireworks on the demogorgon. Sure!  Elle uses Billy’s memories to reason with him. This show definitely wants us to root for Billy all of a sudden because he turns on the demogorgon but I REFUSE TO LIKE BILLY WITH THAT DRIED OUT WIG IN THIS SWEATY MALL. 

   Back in the subbasement, Winona’s season 3 wig and Hopper are ready to end this but the Terminator dude shows up. They duke it out very close to a nuclear warhead while Winona’s season 3 wig turns into MacGuyver and uses a belt to try to disarm both keys and bless her. Hopper throws the Terminator into nuclear generator thingie. Byeeeeee. Then Hopper looks back at Winona’s season 3 wig for long enough to definitely make it back into the safe glass room where she is but instead just gives a really long nod, signalling her to disarm the nuclear whatever thing and he definitely (absolutely does not) die. 

However, all my hopes and dreams for Billy’s death finally came true! YAY FOR ME AND MY HATRED OF HIS TERRIBLE WIG AND HIS CHARACTER WHICH HAD NO REDEEMING QUALITIES NO MATTER HOW MANY BEACH FLASHBACKS TRIED TO PROVE OTHERWISE. I will say that his exit is VERY METAL so in some ways, this was the only appropriate death for his Metallica and Tank loving character. FINE. Two seconds after he and the demogorgon die, the feds show up with Paul Reiser! I am honestly very mad at this show for not blasting Pat Benatar’s Little Too Late during this entire sequence. OH WELL. Outside the mall Winona’s season 3 wig and Will’s terrible bowl cut wig are reunited in a bad wig hug. Then Winona’s season 3 wig catches sight of Elle and gives her a look that says: I am definitely adopting you.

Three months later, a fake Inside Edition show gets us up to date on the burning of the mall, government coverups, and comeuppance of terrible mayor Cary Elwes. Also Uma’s daughter (now with 80s appropriate updo!) and Steve are trying to get jobs at the video store! Uma’s daughter and her love of Billy Wilder movies make her a shoe-in for the job but Steve's taste in the Ewok Star Wars movie and the 5 minutes he saw of Back To the Future whilst on LSD don’t make him the best candidate. Also he trips over a Phoebe Cates cut-out and truly Phoebe Cates: thank you for your service in being name-checked constantly this season. In the end, Steve’s awesome hair gets him the job. Maybe? 

Meanwhile, Winona’s season 3 wig is moving just like she said she was going to this whole season and no one believed her. Also she put her wig back in a ponytail and: good move it looks ok! Elle still doesn’t have her powers back but eh? She does get a heart-tugging letter from beyond the grave (he’s totally still alive) and all the kids/tweens/#boringcouple sob that they are being separated. It isn’t clear where Winona’s season 3 wig is going or how she could have sold her shitty house in the town that fake Inside Edition show called haunted. And yes, separating her now 3 PTSD kids from their only support group is also shitty but what has this goddamned town ever done for Winona and any of her seasons’ wigs other than stealing her children and killing her love interests and trashing that shitty house at least twice?! I SAY GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE (they will fully be back next season). 

After collectively sobbing all their faces off, the tweens of Hawkins are left only with the ELEGANZA OF KAREN WHEELER and whatever healthy dinner she’s preparing with the help of some white wine. YOU KIDS ARE STILL LUCKY WHO NEEDS FRIENDS WHEN YOU HAVE KAREN WHEELER! Oh and back in Russia, Hopper is like 110% definitely still alive. See y’all next season!

FINAL VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ (YOU KNOW IT WAS BILLY’S FAULT)

[mrsjaxtellerfan]

Coming Home (Jax x OC) (Chapter 12)

Hey guys! Sorry for the delay I’ve been struggling with mental health this week.  Written with @lookprettyliveclassyplaydirtyyt

Warnings: Mentions of sex

Chapter 12

I woke up wrapped in Jax’s arms, and wrapped around Jax. I lift my head off his shoulder to see him awake, and looking at me. “What are you thinking about?”

“How beautiful you are.” Jax responds, rubbing my back.

“Why, thank ya, Jax. I really am sorry about last night.”

“Don’t be, darlin’. Accidents happen. And besides, I was just thinking about how hot you looked, and it made me hard.” He rolled over, so I am on my back, and goes in for a kiss. He holds my hands over my head with one hand, and the other travels down my body.

“Jaaaaaaaxxxxxxx!” I moan when he starts rubbing my clit lightly through my panties, the throb between my legs returning.

“I think it’s my turn to be in control.” Jax murmurs, biting at my neck.

“Wait! We have to get back to help set up for Sophia’s party! What time is it?” I ask, pushing him away and moving to get up.

“Babe! Gemma can handle setup herself, Clay and the guys should be there by now.” Jax gruffs, his want evident by the tent in the covers.

“Jax! We have to hurry. I told Gemma we’d be home by 10:30 and it’s 9:50. We don’t have time.” I reply, moving around the room gathering my clothes from last night before getting clean clothes out and heading to the bathroom.

“You seriously going to leave me like this?”

“You left me like that last night.” I laugh, pushing the door closed and turning on the shower.

“Will I ever live that down?” Jax asks, coming into the bathroom to join me in the shower.

“Nope.” I laugh, rubbing the shampoo in my hair. Jax swats my hands away, taking over, scratching at my scalp with his strong fingers. I let out a sigh at the sensation.

“How many of the guys know what happened last night?” Jax asks, steering me under the water to wash my hair out.

“All of them.” I mutter.

“You told everyone?” Jax asks incredulously.

“I didn’t. Juice walked in on us and told all the guys and then Tig announced that you were stuck because we couldn’t find the key, and that you came too soon to everyone. But if it makes you feel better everyone knows you have a big penis.”

“Yeah and they know that I came before pleasing my lady.”

“I’m sorry! It just slipped.” I exclaim, turning toward him in the shower.

“Uh-huh, sure it did. It had nothing to do with the fact that I pissed you off.”

“It really slipped, Jax. Now finish your shower, we have to go.” I reply, kissing him and climbing out of the shower.

“Well I’m going to need a cold shower to get rid of this.” Jax mutters.

“Then turn on the cold water. Hurry up.” I say, pulling my jeans on.

“Sophia!” I yell, pulling her into a hug. “Happy birthday, baby!”

“Mommy! Daddy! Thank you! I had birthday pancakes!”

“I never got birthday pancakes.” Jax says, looking up at Gemma.

“You never asked for birthday pancakes.” Gemma replies, looking at Jax. “You and your dad both wanted scrambled eggs.”

“True.” Jax laughs, kissing the top of Sophia’s head before standing back up hugging Gemma. “Thanks for keeping the kids last night.”

“We had fun. I heard you guys did too. Little mishap with some keys, and um… some stuff happening too soon.” Gemma laughs, careful of the little ears.

“You heard about that?” Jax asks, his face turning red.

“Oh, baby, everyone knows about that. Gotta be careful. You wouldn’t want an angry, unsatisfied Old Lady on your hands, would ya?” Gemma laughs, moving back toward the kitchen.

“Daddy, what happened too soon?” Sophia asks, looking up at him with her big blue eyes.

“Nothing!” Jax tells, rushing out of the room.

“Mommy, Daddy is weird sometimes.” Sophia says, turning her eyes to me.

“He is!” I bust out laughing, swinging Sophia up in my arms and making my way to the kitchen.

“So, I got the backyard set up with Clay and the guys’ help. You want to help Sophia get dressed, and get dressed yourself while I go pick up the cake? Abel is napping and I’ll have Jax get him dressed.” Gemma says, looking over her party planning list.

“Yeah, Jax needs to get dressed too.” I reply. “Thank you for setting everything up. It really means a lot.”

“Nonsense baby, that’s my granddaughter, of course I’ll help with her birthday. Plus, hopefully soon, you will be my actual daughter.” Gemma smirks, knowing look on her face. I don’t realize what she’s hinting at.

“Alright, Soph, I’m going to go see Abel and then we will go get dressed.”

“Okay, mommy. I’m going to go play with papa.” Sophia responds, running out of the kitchen.

“Were the kids good?” I asks, turning to Gemma.

“Yep, perfect little angels.” Gemma responds. “Don’t tease Jax too much about his little slip up last night. You’ll give him a complex. I heard you were a dominant little thing last night.” Gemma laughs.

“I can’t believe you heard about that.” I laugh, blush covering my cheeks and neck. “I don’t even know where all of that came from honestly, Jax just pissed me off.”

“Hey, it’s always good to try new things in the bedroom and keep your Old Man happy. Sounds like Jax liked it, so I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

“Oh, I’m not sorry for being dominating, it was fun to put him in his place, I’m only sorry that I couldn’t get the cuffs off, and the guys had to find out everything.” I laugh.

“Damn, girl, didn’t know you had it in ya.” Gemma laughs. “But if y’all are going to do that again, may I suggest ties instead of cuffs?”

“What are you two talking about?” Jax asks, wrapping his arms around my waist.

“Oh, you know, just how quick things were over last night.” I bust out laughing at the look on Jax’s face. “Kidding, we were discussing better options than handcuffs.”

“That isn’t any better. She’s my mom.” He shudders.

“Yeah, well your Ma isn’t a prude. Clay and I get up to these kind of thing all the time.” Gemma says, I bust out laughing, Jax fakes like he’s throwing up.

“I didn’t need to know any of that.” Jax groans, pulling away from me.

“I didn’t need to know that my son shoots his load before his lady can either, but here we are.” Gemma retorts. Jax gruffs and storms out of the room. I laugh, shooting a wink at Gemma before following him.

“Jaxy, calm down. She was just joking.” I laugh, wrapping my arms around him and kissing his now naked back.

“I can’t believe everyone knows, I’m literally never going to live it down.” Jax huffs, pulling away from me.

“Baby, don’t be like that.”

“Be like what, Ariana? Mad that you told everyone about our sex life?” Jax scoffs, looking through his clothes, trying to find something nice to wear. I sigh, moving toward him, turning him around to face me.

“I told you it was an accident. Plus don’t you tell the guys about our sex life?”

“Well, yeah, but that’s not the point.”

“It’s exactly the point. I told them about our sex life, and you are mad.”

“You told them that I don’t please you. That is completely different from what I say.”

“Jax, I never said that you didn’t, I said that you know how to use your cock, besides when you come too soon.”

“Same thing.”

“You are acting like such a baby.” I huff, before dropping to my knees and undoing his belt.

“What are you doing?” Jax asks, looking down at me.

“Giving you a blow job, so you will get in a better mood, and shut the fuck up about all of this.” I respond, yanking his pants and boxers down his legs.

“Ari, you… ” Jax breaks off as put him in my mouth, sucking at his tip before working further down, going as far as I can before pulling back and repeating the process. I use my hand to pump what I can’t fit in my mouth. “Shit.” Jax moans, wrapping his hands in my hair, as I feel him harden more in my mouth. I continue the process, reaching down with my free hand to fondle his balls, he lets out a loud moan, thrusting his hips toward me, causing me to gag.

“Shit, sorry.” He pants, pulling my hair into a ponytail in his fist. I speed up my pace, making sure to focus on the head, tasting his precum, I moan around him. He groans, moving my head at the pace he wants before stilling and cumming. I swallow it down, cleaning him up, before I pull away and stand up the throbbing between my legs becoming more pronounced.

“That was fucking amazing.” Jax pants, trying to compose himself.

“I need to go brush my teeth and then find Abel and Sophia. Stop being a whiny bitch today.” I reply, pecking him on the lips making my way to the bathroom, making sure to clench my thighs trying to get some relief.

“Want me to repay the favor?” Jax yells after my retreating form.

“We don’t have time.” I laugh, wishing we did.

“That’s why quickies are a thing.” Jax laughs, following me into the bathroom.

“Fine, but be quick, preferably not as quick as last night though.” I laugh, as Jax rushes to unbutton my jeans, and push them down my legs, bending me over the cabinet.

“Oh, baby, don’t worry, you will be coming this time.” Jax whispers in my ear, before plunging into me and setting a fast pace.

“Hi, baby!” I coo at Abel, picking him up from his bouncer. “I missed you.”

“So did I, little man.” Jax grins, tickling his tummy.

“Daddy! Come play with me!” Sophia says, running up to us.

“Baby, we need to go get dressed.” I tell her, handing Abel to Jax.

“I am dressed mommy, I don’t want to wear a dress if I’m going to get it dirty.”

“Soph, it’s a princess party don’t you want to wear a pretty princess dress?”

“You’re not wearing a princess dress. If you wear one, so will I.”

“Fine.” I sigh. “Let’s go get dressed.”

“Yay! Grandma picked it out, you’re gonna look so pretty Mommy.”

“You little sneak, you had that planned didn’t you?” I ask, putting my hands on my hips.

“No, grandma did.” Sophia laughs, running out of the room. I peck Jax on the lips and kiss Abel’s head before going to follow her.

“I laid his clothes out already. Yours too.” I smile.

“You’re the best.”

“Yeah, I know I am. Make sure you tell Gemma not to expect me to sit properly. I hate wearing dresses.”

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t get her hopes up.”

“Good.” I reply, leaving the room and making my way to Sophia’s room.

“Hey.” Nicole says, walking up to me. “You look really nice.”

“Thanks! Gemma and Sophia picked it out. I hate dresses.” I laugh, adjusting the little purple crown Sophia put on my head.

“Looks nice, who designed it? I hate dresses too. My wonderful husband wouldn’t let me bring alcohol, so I brought a juice box.”

“How rude of him. Jax wouldn’t have let me have a drink anyways, we fought last time. And I designed it. I forgot I even had it, to be honest.”  I respond, running my hands over the maroon, knee length tulle A-Line dress I was wearing.

“At least your knees are together. I cannot sit like a lady to save my life.”

“I learned after I had Sophia. Sitting in business meetings when you feel like your uterus is going to fall out of your asshole is a complete bitch.”

“Don’t I know it! It’s so cool that you designed it. I was looking for a designer for my vow renewal dress, but I wouldn’t want to bother you with it.”

“Nonsense. We can get together later this week and discuss what you want. I’ll send the New York office your preference and have one of my on staff designers make it for you.”

“That would be perfect! Oh, I love you so much! I’m also slightly tipsy, I spiked our juice boxes when Danny wasn’t looking.”

“It’s no biggie, honestly, I seriously miss work and designing things.” I laugh. “I’m going to pass on the juice boxes though.”

“You should design your wedding dress. Are you sure you don’t want a juice box? It’s apple!”

“I already have a design in mind if that ever happens. If I drink, I’ll piss off Jax, and I’m planning on getting laid tonight. Plus its Soph’s special day, I don’t wanna ruin it like I did the playdate.”

“It’ll happen. Jax is already calling you his wife. The guys were teasing Jax about something earlier, a mishap in the bedroom?”

“Oh my god! They brought that up again?”

“Again?”

“Okay, so, Jax and I had a night without the kids, so we stayed at the clubhouse. Well, we got into a fight, and it ended with me dominating him. I tied him to the bed, and made him watch me do things, well when we went to actually fuck, he came so quickly I didn’t even get a chance to get going.”

“Did you lose the key? I’ve done that before, it sucks, I never learned how to pick a lock and he expects me to know.”

“Oh my god! Yes, exactly that! So I had to have one of the guys come in, and uncuff him from the bed. We ended up having to get bolt cutters.”

“He was gay for 10 seconds wasn’t he? Someone had their cock in his face?”

“You are seriously reading my mind right now.”

“Danny got so pissed when I had to have Hector come in and uncuff him.”

“Oh my god. Well, one of them was jammed and I fucked up the other one trying to pick it. I felt so bad.”

“Do you think you and Jax will have anymore kids?”

“We’ve joked about having more kids, but we haven’t fully discussed it yet. I know I don’t want anymore unless we are married.”

“You guys should. Maybe buy a minivan.”

“Fuck no! I will never be caught dead driving a losercruiser.”

“Danny and I are trying for a baby.”

“Wow! That’s great Nicole! You can bring them around for the playdates. I will force our kids to be friends if I have too.”

“I really want a baby that is just ours, ya know? No step parents. I don’t know if it’s going to happen though, we’ve been trying for a while.”

“I feel you. I want the same thing, but, Jax and I do parent Sophia, and I’m the only mom Abel has ever really known.”

“Abel will grow up knowing that you are his mother. With Tommy, he was already 3 when we got married.”

“We will probably tell Abel the truth one day. I am kind of glad Tommy and Sophia got married on the playground. He’s not gonna break up with her on her birthday is he?”

“No, he and Danny went and picked out a promise ring. Jax said it was okay, because they’re only kids.”

“Kids that are going to be forever.” I reply, looking out the window at Tommy and Sophia, sitting under a tree, talking.

“Hey, baby, Gemma wants you.” Jax says, walking up to Nicole and I and planing a kiss on my lips.

“Well, duty calls. Talk here in a bit?” I ask, smiling at Nicole.

“Sure thing. I’m going to go find Danny.”

“He’s by the grill.” Jax says, pulling me along with him.

“Hey, Gem, what’s up?” I ask, still holding Jax’s hand.

“How are we wanting to do the cake?”

“We can have her sit at the patio table.” I suggest.

“That works. We should do presents first.” Jax suggests, excited for her to get her gift from him.

“You just want her to open your gift, so you guys can play with it.” I laugh. “I think we should do the dress up portion of the party, and then gifts, and then cake.”

“Sounds good.”

“Nicole and I finished setting up the dress-up area. So it’s all ready to go.”

“Jax, you gather the ones who want to dress up, and we will go get things finished up.”

“Okay.” Jax kisses my cheek and heads to Sophia, while Gemma and I make our way outside and over to the table we set up on the side of the house.

“Alright, here we come!” Jax shouts, carrying Sophia, the guys trailing behind him, Sophia’s little friends with them.

“Are all of you wanting dressed up?” I laugh.

“Yes, mommy, they want to be pretty princesses, I begged.”

“We aren’t late are we?” Opie asks, coming through the back door with Lyla, Kenny, and Ellie.

“Not at all.” I smile, hugging the kids. “Kenny! Ellie! How are you guys?”

“Hi, I’m Lyla.” A blond lady holds her hand out to me, her son hiding behind her legs.

“Ariana. My friends call me Ari. Nice to meet you.” I reply, shaking her hand. “Y’all wanting to become princesses today? Apparently my daughter decided everyone was being princesses.”

“Even Happy? Piney? How’d they get roped in?”

“Sophia begged. Actually I think with these guys, she just has to widen her eyes and pout a bit, and they become putty.”

“Daddy, come with me.” Ellie says, looking up at him. “I want to be a princess too.”

“Okay, baby. Lyla, you coming?” Opie asks, holding his hand out to her.

“Nah. I think I’m gonna stay here. Chat with Ariana a bit. If that’s okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” Opie smiles, pecking her on the cheek, making his way to where Gemma was helping Clay put on a pretty princess dress. Opie laughing shaking his head, as Jax tries to get him to put on a green dress, before finally giving in.

“So, y’all used to date?” Lyla asks.

“A long time ago. I really don’t know how it happened, but we weren’t together long.”

“You guys?”

“Jax and I?”

“Yeah, it’s clear he loves you. How do handle it? The club stuff?”

“I love this club, these men have been my family for my entire life. I take it in stride. I know Jax would never do anything to hurt me or Sophia or Abel.”

“Your entire life?” Lyla asks, looking at me like she doesn’t understand.

“My dad was one of the first 9. I grew up with the club. Gemma and Clay took me in after my dad dies when my mom ran off.”

“You’re joking? Did you know JT?”

“Yep, he was like a dad to me. He was my dad’s best friend, like Jax and Opie.”

“I couldn’t imagine that. Are we gonna fight? Are we good? Friends? I just, I want to some club friends. I can’t do this myself.” Lyla says.

“Oh, god no! We aren’t going to fight. Of course we can be friends. I’m happy Opie found you, without all of the crap, him and Jax can get back to being friends. Jax misses him, even if he won’t admit it.”

“I hope Jax and Opie become friends again. Maybe Opie won’t be as grumpy. I can tell he misses him.”

“Oh, honey, Opie has been grumpy since birth.” I laugh.

“I know, but this is a different grumpy. Like someone kicked his puppy, but he’s a man so he can’t cry about it, grumpy.

“I’m sure by the end of the night, they will be thick as thieves again” .

“I hope so. Anything I can do to help?”

“Put some makeup on some kids with me?”

“You got it.”

“Thank you so much. I don’t know how she has this many friends. Charming is such a small town.” I said once we got back inside.

“You’re covered in it, Ari.”

“So are you.”

“So are the boys.” Lyla says, pointing out the window.

“Lyla, do you wanna come hang out? I spend most of my time here, with Abel. Don’t get me wrong I love him. But with Clay, Jax, and Gemma all working, and Sophia in school, it feels like all I have are the damned birds sometimes.”

“I’d love that!”

“Great! You know that top looks familiar.” I say, looking at the shirt.

“I bought it at this cute boutique in New York like years ago, I forgot I had it until Opie said I had to dress nice.”

“Oh, my, god! It’s from the spring 2010 collection.”

“D by A right?”

“Yeah! That’s my boutique! You must have gotten it before I started my expansion.”

“This top got me through my pregnancy.”

“Same, I designed while I was pregnant with Sophia with mothers in mind.”

“You are a creative genius!”

“Maybe you can model some of my pieces, pre production?”

“Oh my god that would be amazing!”

“Great! I like to make my edits, but it is hard to do it when I’m wearing them myself. I always get pricked.”

“This will be so much fun!” Lyla squeals.

“I actually have a piece I’m working on, wanna try it on? For the princess party?”

“I would love too!”

“Sweet, let me tell Jax that we are running upstairs and then we can go get it.”

“Okay.”

“So what do you think? You feel like a princess? Ready to join the party?”

“Fucking love it!” Lyla yells.

“I’m so glad you like it! It goes into production in a few months. I need to make some final edits. I think maybe a bit more body, and a bit of extra beading!”

“I’m gonna have to buy it.”

“Girl, you can keep that one!”

“OMG!” Lyla squeals, hugging me.

“It’s not dry clean only. I got something that was dry clean only so dirty, I thought I ruined it, and I couldn’t afford to get it cleaned. I wanted people to be able to have nice things, universal items they can wear. Clothing, for the working mom, that you can toss in the washer. Not all can be put in the dryer though. You can hang it to dry, and It should be fine in about 24 hours, as long as all the soap is out. I usually suggest to wash dresses like this twice, once with soap, and once in just water.”

“I can do that.” Lyla says.

“We better get back down there.”

“Yeah, they are probably lost without you.” Lyla laughs.

“I know Jax is. He probably would live off hot pockets if it wasn’t for me and Gemma.”

“Ariana!” Jax yells from the bottom of the stairs.

“What?” I yell back.,

“Come out here, I miss you!”

“Did someone break something?”

“Maybe.”

“Who and what?” I ask, coming down the stairs with Lyla a few steps behind me.

“Happy. He broke your moms old vase.”

“The one my dad got for my mom as a last stitch effort to get her to stop using?”

“That’s the one.”

“Oh, well. Just clean it up.”

“Okay, baby, come give me a kiss.”

“Clean it up before one of the kids gets hurt, Jax.”

“Fine, I’ll kiss you tonight in places that aren’t acceptable to do kiss in public.”

“You little shit. Lyla is up here with me.”

“Hey, Lyla. Ariana, you know you love me, darlin’.”

“I do.” I laugh.

“MOMMY!!!”

“If Sophia got hurt, Jax, I’m going to kill you. I told you to clean it up.”

“I didn’t get hurt, but Tommy did.” Sophia says, coming to the bottom of the stairs.

“Thank you for letting us know Sophia. Your daddy will be right there.”

“Okay, mommy.”

“Jax I told you to go clean it up.” “I was going.” Jax replies.

“You should have cleaned it up then told me about it later.”

“I thought you’d want to know. I know it was one of the last things you have left of your dads.”

“You’re really not helping Jax. I know it was, but there’s nothing I can do to get it back.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Lyla and I walk back outside, the guys chasing the kids around in little princess dresses, the kids screaming and running, and everyone having a good time. I sigh taking in my slice of happiness, thankful that I came back.

“Whatcha thinkin about, darlin’?” Jax asks, coming back from cleaning up the glass and wrapping his arms around me, nuzzling in my neck.

“How glad I am that I came back to you, and how happy you make me.” I smile, turning my head to catch his lips with mine.

“Daddy!” Sophia says, running up to us after we sat down. “What’s a penis?” I nearly spit out my drink.

“What!?” Jax tells.

“A penis daddy. I don’t know what it is but Tiggy was talking about how yours was malfunctsunctioning.” Sophia says, mispronouncing it incorrectly.

“It’s something that boys have, darlin’.”

“Can I have one daddy?”

“No, you see, it’s genetic.”

“I don’t care if it’s a genie daddy, I want a penis.”

“Baby, it’s genetic, not genie. You have to be born with it.”

“Can I have one?”

“Darlin’ I hate to tell you this, and hopefully it’s the only time I ever do, but no, you can’t. Abel and I and your uncles have them, because we were born with them.”

“Can I see yours? I want to know what they look like.” Sophia smiles, batting her lashes.

“Absolutely never ever. Maybe when you are as old as you mother, and you have a boyfriend.”

“But I’m married daddy.”

“Then in 10 to 12 years I’m sure you will see one.”

“Will I see yours daddy? Can I see Tommy’s?”

“NO!” Jax yells.

“Don’t be mean daddy.”

“I’m sorry, darlin’ you’re just too little. Plus you don’t look at daddy’s, darlin’.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s morally unacceptable, and daddy could go to jail. Do you want daddy to go to jail?”

“I don’t understand. Don’t you love me?”

“Baby, that’s not how that works. I do love you baby.”

“If you loved me, you’d show me. Uncle Tiggy said it was big. Like OH MY GOD big.”

“Baby, only mommy can see that. You aren’t supposed to see that, or talk about that.” I say, reaching down to her as Jax fumes at Tig.

“How come only you get to see it, mommy?”

“Because Daddy is my Old Man.”

“Yeah, he is old. Can I play now? I want Tommy to play dinosaurs with me.”

“Yeah, go play.”

“Tommy! Can I see your penis?” Sophia yells, running back to him.

“SOPHIA JACQUELINE TELLER!!!!” Jax yells, rushing after her.

“Daddy!!!” Sophia says, almost falling but regaining her footing to run and hide behind Uncle Chibs.

“Tig, you and I got beef man.” Jax sneers.

“What did I do?” Tig asks.

“Told my daughter about penis!”

“Nuh-uh. I didn’t tell her, she just happened to be in hearing range.”

“Not the fucking point man.”

“Daddy!” Sophia says coming out of hiding. “Am I in trouble?”

“No baby, Tiggy is.”

“You yelled at me. Darren used to yell at me, and then when I would run away, he would lock me in the bathroom until mommy came home.” Sophia whines.

“Darlin, you ain’t in any trouble.” Jax says.

“But you yelled at me.” Sophia says, tears welling up in her eyes.

“Phia, listen to me.” Jax says, getting down in her level. “I yelled because I was mad at uncle Tiggy. You didn’t do anything wrong. Princesses don’t cry on their birthdays. Please don’t cry, you’re not in trouble.”

“Daddy, I’m not a real princess. It’s pretend.”

“Yes you are. You’re my little princess. Always will be. And if anyone treats you like less than that, you let me know.”

“Okay, Daddy.” Sophia smiles, running to play with Tommy.

“I will kill you when she isn’t looking.” Jax says, walking away from Tig and making his way back toward me.

“How’d it go, babe?”

“Well, Sophia told everyone that Darren used to lock her in a bathroom after he yelled at her.”

“Jax, I came back the other day, and I couldn’t find Sophia. I was freaking out, and I thought something had happened. She had spilled her fruit punch on the floor in the kitchen. She cleaned it up, as best as her now 6 year old self could, and went and sat in the bathroom because she thought I would be mad at her.”

“I thought she was getting better.”

“She is, Jax. But there are some things that just can’t be changed. She needs to know that she doesn’t have to go to the bathroom when she’s in trouble. She can go to her bedroom. She can tell us what she did wrong, or she can keep it a secret.”

“I’m still afraid I won’t be able to put all her pieces back together. Or yours, you both are still pretty broken.” He says, resting a gentle hand on my cheek.

“We are both doing better, Jax.” I sigh, and grab his hand in mine. “Things like this just take time, and that’s not always something we have a lot of. You missed the first five years of her life. I’ll be damned if you miss another day.”

“I ain’t leaving, either of you, willingly that is.” Jax says, pressing his lips to mine for a brief second.

“Sophia! Present time!” I yell.

“Coming!” Sophia yells, running up to my legs.

“Sophia, open mine first.” Jax says to the excited little girl.

“Okay daddy.”

“Jax?” I ask. “What did you get her?”

“It’s inside. Clay’s office.”

“Go get it then.”

“I will.” Jax laughs, heading off to get the gift “Here you go!” He shouts, returning with a box the size of Mount Rushmore.

“What is it Daddy?”

“Open it and see.”

“It’s so pretty, Daddy!”

“What is it?” I ask, trying to catch a peak.

“It’s a motorcycle, mommy, just like daddy’s, but it’s purple.”

“It’s battery powered.” Jax mumbles to me.

“Jax, she can’t even ride a bike. Are you gonna help her?”

“She doesn’t need help babe. All she has to do is push the button and hold on.”

“Oh, it’s like the Barbie Jeep she had!” I exclaim, finally realizing what it is.

“You can be a blond sometimes.” Jax laughs.

“I love it daddy!” Sophia exclaims, hugging Jax’s legs.

“Good! I’m glad you love it! Now open the rest of your presents!”

“Jax, I might act like a blonde sometimes, but you love me.”

“Yes I do. And Sophia too. Now that I’ve had you, I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

“Jax, do you think maybe later we could talk about something?”

“Of course. Anything, darlin’, you know I’m a sucker for a pretty face.” Jax smiles, pulling me into him.

“Oh hush.” I laugh, pushing him away from me while watching Sophia open her gifts.

“Mommy, look!” Sophia exclaims. “It’s the princess crown I wanted!”

“That’s great, baby!”

“Open mine next.” Tommy says, handing her a small box, with a dinosaur bandaid on the palm of his hand.

“It’s so pretty, Tommy!” Sophia gushes.

“I hoped you like it. I thought of you when I saw it.”

“Jax, that’s so cute.” I said, holding his hand and looking up at him.

“I know.” He said, letting go of my hand and wrapping his arm around my waist. “I like this Tommy kid. As long as he doesn’t hurt her.”

“Look at you, being all dad like, and sweet.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

“It’s okay baby, everyone knows you are softie under all that muscle and stupidity.” I laugh. Jax pulls me tighter.

“Well at least you noticed I’ve been hitting the gym more.”

“Have you? I didn’t notice?”

“Babe.”

“I’m just saying, I didn’t notice you hitting the gym. I guess I haven’t had a reason too. Maybe tonight you can show me how much stronger you are.” I wink at him.

“I can do more than that.” He smirks.

“Counting on it, baby.”

“Mommy! I love you so much.”

“What did you break, baby?”

“Nothing, I just love you. You’re the best mom ever!” Sophia says, hugging my legs.

“You’re the best daughter ever, Sophia.”

“I love Abel, but I want a little sister to play princesses with me.”

“Woah, slow down there Phia. Mommy and I aren’t ready to have more kids. We have you and Abel, and that’s enough for us right now.” Jax cuts in.

“Daddy, what do you have to do with mommy having a baby?” Sophia asks confused.

“Daddy’s help Mommy’s have babies.” I reply, laughing at Jax’s expression.

“How?” Sophia asks.

“Ask me again in a couple years.” I laugh.

“Does it have to do with his penis?” She asks, looking at Jax.

“I am going to KILL your uncle Tig.” Jax says, looking toward Tig.

“Sophia, why don’t you go play with Tommy before he has to leave.”

“He can come back, right?”

“Of course, now go play.” I tell her.

“Well, we know what to get her for her birthday next year.” Jax says, smirking at me.

“A penis?” I ask, frown on my face, confusion evident.

“A SISTER!”

“OHHHHH!”

“I worry about you sometimes, babe. You act more blond than me.”

“Shut up.” I laugh, pushing him.

“You love me, and you know it,”

“Hmmmm I don’t know. Sometimes it’s really forced.”

“Babe.”

“Kidding, kidding, geeze sensitive much?”

“You better be fucking kidding. That shit ain’t funny.”

“I love you….. sometimes.” I laugh.

“Ariana.”

“Jackson.”

“I love you.”

“And I love you.”

“I think it’s time to start sending her friends home. The guys can stay and help clean up.”

“Good idea. I’ll go call parents.” I say, walking over to Gemma.

“I’ll let the guys know.”

“Hey, Gem! Wanna help me call parents?” I ask, walking up to her.

“I would love nothing more than to get these kids out of my house so I can clean up.”

“I feel ya.” I laugh, we make our way into the kitchen.

“That’s the last kid.” I say, making my way toward the couch. “How is there this many kids in her Kindergarten?”

“I don’t know, but she’s as charismatic as her daddy.”

“What did she get from me, Jax? My dashing good looks?”

“God I hope not.” Jax says, instantly regretting his words.

“Jackson, that was rude. I should make you sleep on the couch.”

“I didn’t mean it like that! I mean if she looks anything like you when she grows up I’m going to have to beat the guys off with a stick.”

“Nice save.” I scoff.

“Or a semi automatic weapon.” Jax laughs. “You know you are gorgeous baby.”

“Aren’t those illegal, Jax?”

“Shhhhh. Don’t tell anyone.”

“Your secrets safe with me. Wanna head to bed? I am beyond tired.”

“Fuck yes I do!” Jax exclaims, pulling me up with him.

“Jax, would you consider moving?” I ask from the bathroom, taking off my makeup.

“What do ya mean? Like moving back to my place?”

“No, like buying a different house. We need more room, Jax. Plus I don’t want to stay in the house where I killed a man. What if a few of the guys need a place to stay? We just don’t have the room.” I say, coming out of the bathroom, Jax laying shirtless on the bed.

“Anything you want, darlin’.”

“Then can I ask you something else?”

“Sure.”

“I want one more kid, but I want to wait a bit. Maybe when Abel is older.”

“Baby I’ll give you as many kids as you want. There is nothing I love more than raising kids with you.”

“Good. Now finish what you started this morning.”

“Oh baby it’d be my pleasure.” Jax smirks, pulling me into the bed with him.

Tag list: @gemini0410 @lookprettyliveclassyplaydirtyyt @spnhollis @jaxteller87 @melissataggart87 @stylesismyhubs @hismissharley13 @rahdaleigh @chrmdnbeautiful @innerpaperexpertcloud @emmaveale123

[kachulein]

🌸85 Questions🌸

Since the last time I did this tag was a few months ago, I thought I’ll do it again. I was tagged by the cutie @taeyongsflatbutt thanks dear💖

Rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

Last

1. Drink - tea and water

2. Phone call - I literally never call anyone besides my therapist, so yeah, my therapist :3

3. Text message - I’m currently spamming my baby @taetaejagiyaaa95 with links to dance performances of the dance club I’m in lmao

4. Song you listened to - I’m listening to What Now by Rihanna as I’m writing this (I’m actually listening to the playlist @taetaejagiyaaa95 made for me💖)

5. Time you cried - Today while listening to Grow Up by Stray Kids because the lyrics and the song in general hit me so hard that I cannot listen to it without crying T-T

Ever

6. Dated someone twice - nope, when I end something it’s a definite end and I’m not getting back together with that person

7. Kissed someone and regretted it - Actually yes... because there was this one time when this guy pressured me and kind of forced me into kissing him and I didn’t know how to escape ;-;

8. Been cheated on - not that I know of :o

9. Lost someone special - Haven’t we all? :/

10. Been depressed - Probably at some points in my life

11. Gotten drunk and threw up - yup >.< but I was like 13/14 years old back then and a stupid idiot

Fave colors

12. I seriously love all colours

13. Especially pastels

14. and of course black

In the last year have you…

15. Made new friends - YES💖

16. Fallen out of love - definitely (glares @ ex bf for treating me like crap and just ghosting on me without ever explaining his actions to me...so I guess that’s over for good)

17. Laughed until you cried - I always cry when I laugh tbh and my friends like making fun of me then xD

18. Found out someone was talking about you - probably but I can’t really remember since I push such moments out of my mind

19. Met someone who changed you - I believe every person you meet in your lifetime has some kind of impact (big or small) on you and thus changes you to some extent (maybe only just for the time being they’re in your life but still)

20. Found out who your friends are - Yes, I am actually better at reading people than it may seem^^

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list - Idk I don’t use facebook anymore xD

General

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know irl - Again, idk since I don’t use it anymore

23. Do you have any pets - a Kitten💖

24. Do you want to change your name - My last name, yes. Since I don’t like it and people like making fun of it smh

25. What did you do for your last birthday - I went out to dinner with my mom and stepdad and ended up having the whole restaurant sing me happy birthday^^ it was awesome omg

26. What time did you wake up today - At noon I think

27. What were you doing @ midnight last night - I was finishing off a reaction on my blog @kachuwritings and posted it

28. What is something you can’t wait for - My I am WHO album to finally arrive T-T

30. What are you listening to right now - Daya - New

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - nah, I don’t know no Tom :o

32. Something that gets on my nerves - Someone interrupting me when I’m in the middle of daydreaming, people who brag about how great they are and in general just arrogance gets on my nerves a lot, animal cruelty is something that makes me extremely mad and sad and in general people with bad personalities/who abuse others/treat others badly, any form of discrimination and inequality in this world, our society and especially the unrealistic beauty standards our subconscious is being fed through the media 24/7 and so many more

33. Most visited website - Tumblr, YouTube and Vlive

34. Hair color - black^-^

35. Hair long or short - about middle length but I’m growing it out c:

36. Do you have a crush on someone - yesssss but not on someone I know irl glares @ Han Jisung from the other side of the world

37. What do you like about yourself - I really like being an empath tbh because it allows me to fully understand other people’s struggles and it can be nice to feel everything so deeply (love for example) (of course there’s also a downside to it) :3

38. Want any piercings - I already have 8 piercings on my ears but I always thought about getting nipple piercings someday but I honestly don’t know about that one^^’’ what do you think?

39. Blood type - A

40. Nicknames - Kachu

41. Relationship status - married to Han Jisung in my head single like a pringle

42. Zodiac - Aquarius

43. Pronouns - she/her

44. Fave TV shows (Can I add anime? I don’t watch other TV shows) - Sword Art Online, Tokyo Ghoul, Ouran High School Host Club

45. Tattoos - A violin key with a rose on my right forearm (that I drew myself and it signifies my love for music) and I’m thinking of getting angel wings on my shoulder blades but I need to draw them first kdjdksooidsfuhi

46. Right or left handed - right

47. Ever had surgery - nope

48. piercings - ears

49. Sports - dancing,,,mainly & hula hooping

50. Vacations - I’ve been to England, Spain, France, Germany, Switzerland(of course), Denmark, Czech Republic, Austria, Italy and Greece already but never outside of Europe jckdcudscn but I’m going to South Korea next year c:

51. Trainers - uhm... don’t really know what to answer here???

More general

52. Eating - I ate potato salad for dinner but that was around 6 hours ago lmao

53. Drinking - water^-^

54. I’m about to watch - Nothing since it’s 3.30am and I should go to sleep

55. Waiting - for better days *sigh*

56. Want - to be more motivated and not always feel exhausted and powerless on a daily basis because every little thing gets me overwhelmed lately and I feel so lazy since I lack power to accomplish anything and I have so much shit to do T-T 

57. Get married - not sure ._.

58. Career - Probably psychologist but I’m actually dreaming of becoming a singer&songwriter

Wich is better

59. Hugs or kisses - Depending on my mood either can be better

60. Lips or eyes - ....I love both equally tbh, beautiful eyes and plump lips really affect me sjakdansfunoj Hyunjin’s lips are a good example seriously they look so soft :( and Felix’s eyes are extremely beautiful and big wow

61. Shorter or taller - shorter because I’m too tall and I hate it ._.

62. Older or younger - younger, I don’t wanna grow up the world seems to only get worse the older I get akfnsdfisdsuld

63. Nice stomach or arms - hmmmmm I LOVE slim waists so I guess stomach?

64. Hookup or relationship - relationship!!! ALL. THE. DAMN. WAY. i can’t stand hookup culture :/ (but you do you fam, I’m not gonna judge anyone since it’s none of my business)

65. Troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant (I’m a good girl okay :c)

Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger - I don’t think so omg

67. Drank hard liquor - yup, long ago though, I barely drink since I don’t like alcohol due to,,, reasons

68. Lost glasses - surprisingly, no xD

69. Turned someone down - unfortunately, yes :/

70. Sex on first date - It wasn’t a date... o.o it was just a hookup and that made me realize that I dislike sex without love involved and that’s how I found out that hookups are nothing for me^^’’

71. Broken someone’s heart - Probably the people I’ve turned down :/

72. Had your heart broken - ...yes

73. Been arrested - OMG NOOOOOO :o

74. Cried when someone died - Yes

75. Fallen for a friend - No never

Do you believe in

76. Yourself - I really wish I could

77. Miracles - not sure but I hope they’re real T-T

78. Love at first sight - naah

79. Santa Claus - yeeeah no, I’m not 5 years old anymore honey^^

80. Kiss on first date - Sure if it feels right

81. Angels - Not sure o.o

Other

82. Best friend’s name - I don’t have a best friend actually... (applications are open lmao)

83. Eye color - a really ugly brown istg there are so many beautiful kinds of brown eyes out there and mine just look ugly tbh D:

84. Fave movie - I have so many skaudbjf but Harry Potter is pretty high up on the list (I cannot trust people who dislike Harry Potter... my ex disliked it...yeah that just confirmed my hypothesis)

85. Favorite actor/actress - I always liked Audrey Hepburn, Olivia Newton-John, Julia Roberts, Keira Knightley, Emma Watson, Cameron Diaz, Meryl Streep, Amanda Seyfried, Pierce Brosnan, John Travolta, Patrick Swayze, Jack Black, Logan Lerman, Dylan O’Brien, as well as Leonardo DiCaprio, Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Colin Firth and Hugh Grant - see, I can’t choose D:

soooo that was it yay^^ I’m tagging @marculees @taetaejagiyaaa95 @glamjae @bloomingfantasy @taetarte @1oonar @00njm @star-sam @hyunjinsgiggle @jbemin @orrin-uwu @redcucumbers @donghyuwus @alonelysquid and as always, you don’t have to do it💖

[sncwbaz]

85 questions tag.

i was tagged by @jjjolly, thank you <3

you’re supposed to tag 20 people but every time i tag someone i’m scared they’ll secretly hate me because they might not want to do this tag/ have already done it, so i’m not gonna have that times 20. i’ll just... tag a few people: @hekissesme (or @ ur mainblog if you prefer so), @simonandtyrannus  @carryonmylovelies @panickedcastiel-at-thedisco @rainbowpitofdoom @simon-basil @aoi-herondale  (feel completely free to ignore that i tagged you if you don’t feel like doing this!!)

— What was your last…

1. drink: water

2. phone call: my school 

3. text message: a friend/classmate 

4. song you listened to: numb by marina and the diamonds

5. time you cried: yesterday (exam week stress yay)

6. time you dated someone twice: never?

7. kissed someone and regretted it: never happened

8. been cheated on: also never happened (thankfully)

9. lost someone special: december

10. been depressed: in february i had weird depressive episodes. i’m not actually depressed though. 

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: never happened. 

— Fave colours

12. oh so many shades of blue

13. warm-ish yellow

14. pretty much every colour when it has soft grey tones mixed into it. 

— In the last year have you…

15. made new friends: yep

16. fallen out of love: nope

17. laughed until you cried: yes!

18. found out someone was talking about you: not in the teen angst high school way? also not in the vague posting way? but i mean... sure? i’ve had times where i would come down stairs and my mom would be talking about me? but never anything shocking? 

19. met someone who changed you: no major life changes but probably yes. 

20. found out who your friends are: i already knew

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: lmao i don’t have facebook.

— General

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: lmao i don’t have facebook part 2

23. do you have any pets: yea i own a horse (who doesn’t live at my house but like... i own him he’s mine so it counts as a pet) and a guinea pig. (also yes only one guinea pig and not two. i know they’re not supposed to live alone and we used to have two but one died, so we were gonna buy another one so the one we still had would get depressed, but she’s totally cool? she’s been having the time of her life now she’s on her own. she’s become more lively and she’s lived on her own for years now and she’s so chill. also she’s really old we don’t know how she’s still alive, but we support her) 

24. do you want to change your name: no not at all.

25. what did you do for your last birthday: i went to a theme park with one of my best friends. (to efteling for people who’re familiar with dutch theme parks) 

26. what time did you wake up today: half past 7. i’m tired. 

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: trying to fall asleep (very unsuccessfully)  

28. what is something you can’t wait for: probably just summer vacation. i want rest and sun. 

30. what are you listening to right now: birds chirping outside. no windows are open but they’re just really loud.

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yep

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: my exam week

33. most visited website: tumblr probably

34. hair colour: some people tell me it’s dark blonde some people tell me it’s light brown. i don’t really know. 

35. long or short hair: long

36. do you have a crush on someone: nope

37. what do you like about yourself: the passion, determination, ambition and self discipline i posses. 

38. want any piercings: no

39. blood type: no clue, though i’m pretty sure my mom and i once figured out that i could literally have any of the blood types due to what runs in my family so wahey. 

40. nicknames: my mom sometimes calls me ‘an’, but she’s about the only person who says that and besides that i don’t really have nicknames. 

41. relationship status: single and not really looking to mingle.

42. sign: gemini

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv show: does... does atla count? i mean... it’s a cartoon but It’s So Much More. i just. it counts. it’s my fave and will forever be my fave. 

45. tattoos: don’t have any, don’t want any. 

46. right or left handed: right

47: wver had surgery: nope

48. piercings: don’t have any

49. sport: horseback riding. 

50. vacation: iceland, canada, new zealand, scotland & italy all very much peak my interests. 

51. trainers: i don’t understand this question.

— More general

52. eating: i had some baguette with cheese as lunch

53. drinking: water/tae

54. i’m about to watch: probably a bts run episode because i’m tired and i need some positive vibes. 

55. waiting for: me to regain some brain power after having just finished an exam so i can read a book. 

56. want: to read and sleep and just... have energy.

57. get married: not a priority ajshdaksj

58. career: author (one!!! day!!!)

— Which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs, but boy don’t dare me give me a weak hug because those make me feel so uncomfortable. 

60. lips or eyes: eyes duh

61. shorter or taller: as in... i’m shorter or taller? than who? or what? 

62. older or younger: i??? don’t really care?? 

63. nice arms or stomach: i like how these can all apply to either self image or what u like in others. but like... once again i don’t really care about nice arms or stomach. just... when even are they nice? u need both aksjdhk. 

64. hookup or relationships: relationships

65. troublemaker or hesitant: in myself i prefer to be more hesitant than to be a troublemaker. idk what i would prefer in someone else. considering i’m hesitant it’s better not to pair me up with someone hesitant because where would we ever get in life? so?? troublemaker? but only small trouble? kjasjsahs

— Have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: no

67. drank hard liquor: i don’t drink alcohol 

68. turned someone down: yep

69. sex on first date: nope

70: broken someone’s heart: possibly

71. had your heart broken: only by books and movies kajsdhsakj. so yea no not really

72. been arrested: nope

73. cried when someone died: yes

74. fallen for a friend: no

— Do you believe in

75. yourself: most of the time yes

76. miracles: not really, i mean i believe in it as in; you can describe an unexpectedly wonderful event as a miracle, but i don’t believe it in the ‘sitting around and waiting for a miracle to happen’ way. not in the fairytale way. 

77. love at first sight: not for myself, other people’s stories are other people’s stories. 

78. santa claus: no i had that figured out at age 3 

79. angels: nope

— Misc

80. eye colour: (dark) green

81. best friends name: Roos & Gemma (hi gem i know ur seeing this cos i tagged u, though actually you might not because you’re not that active on tumblr anymore)

82. favourite movie: peter pan (2001 edition) & singin’ in the rain

83. favourite actor: i actually don’t think i’ve got one

84. favourite cartoon: i mean i already used atla for best tv series... but like i said... alta is more than just a cartoon. so for this one i’ll put the amazing world of gumball even though i haven’t actually watched that in a few years, but recently i’ve just been watching clips from that cartoon and just... it’s so good. 

85. favourite teacher’s name: i, for some reason, feel weird putting their names here? so i’ll just say; my english teacher and physics teacher form last year. true legends. 

[city127-archive]

Rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

I was tagged by: @taezever 👼💫💕

last

1. drink - water
2. phone call - my dad 
3. text message- ‘yeee its saved too’
4. song you listened to - probably instagram by dean..? i don’t remember 
5. time you cried - ehhh last sunday maybe?

ever

6. dated someone twice - nah
7. kissed someone and regretted it - not rlly
8. been cheated on - nope
9. lost someone special - idk,, i dont think so,,
10. been depressed - yup
11. gotten drunk and thrown up - gotten drunk yes, but not thrown up

fave colors

12. baby blue
13. light pink
14. light yellow

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yess
16. fallen out of love - nope
17. laughed until you cried - idk man probably 
18. found out someone was talking about you - uhh yeah 
19. met someone who changed you - i think so?
20. found out who your friends are - yeah
21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - not in the last year

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - most of them
23. do you have any pets - umm a few goldfish

24. do you want to change your name - i mean sora’s not my *actual* name and i’d honestly change it to that bc my birth name is ☠️☠️
25. what did you do for your last birthday - literally nothing lmao
26. what time did you wake up today - 8 am
27. what were you doing at midnight last night - sleeping for once 
28. what is something you cant wait for - my trip to japan!!
30. what are you listening to right now - nothing
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - i think so??? maybe not
32. something that’s getting on your nerves - mostly myself lol
33. most visited website -tumblr or ao3
34. hair color - black
35. long or short hair - long w/my extensions,, p short without

36. do you have a crush on someone - im always crushing on like everybody

37. what do you like about yourself - my?? idk my voice ig

38. want any piercings? -yes!! a septum and more ear piercings ((i wanted nipple piercings for a hot minute lmao))
39. blood type - i have no idea my mom lost the document that said it
40. nicknames - cy, sometimes cereal
41. relationship status - single as heckles
42. zodiac - aries,, technically maybe an aries/taurus cusp but it depends on who you ask
43. pronouns - she/her
44. fave tv shows - hannibal, the office, death note, devilman crybaby
45. tattoos - i want one on my inner arm
46. right or left handed - right handed
47. ever had surgery - nope
48. piercings - just my lones
49. sport - i used to do figure skating, gymnastics, dance ((some ballet nd contemporary)) and karate but i quit bc im inconsistent as hell yay!!
50. vacation - most of the time i just go visit family in africa
51. trainers - what

more general

52. eating - ramennn
53. drinking - water w/ lemon juice
54. i’m about to watch - i gotta finish rewatching the office
55. waiting for - my lil baby hixtapr
56. want - money and a boyf/gf
57. get married - not my main goal but i wouldnt mind
58. career - fashion designer? graphic designer?? industrial designer?? research psychologist?? i have no idea ((but i rlly like designing stuff so probs one of those))

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugss
60. lips or eyes - eyes
61. shorter or taller - taller which isnt hard bc im 5’5
62. older or younger - older,, until im at least like 25,, younger’s a bit weird during teenage years bc a 14 year old’s so different from a 15 year old and so on
63. nice arms or stomach - stomachh
64. hookup or relationship - relationship but idv
65. troublemaker or hesitant - idkk

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - nope
67. drank hard liquor - yess
68. lost glasses - once
69. turned someone down - yes
70. sex on first date - never
71. broken someone’s heart - idk,, might have once
72. had your heart broken - yee ig
73. been arrested - nope im a pure kid
74. cried when someone died - yes
75. fallen for a friend - probably

do you believe in

76. yourself - meh
77. miracles - not rlly
78. love at first sight - i want to even if i know its not true
79. santa claus - no
80. kiss on a first date - yeah why not
81. angels - maybe,, its a nice possibility but idk

other

82. best friend’s name - uhh torie?
83. eye colour - dark brown almost black
84. fave movie - okay so;; whiplash, the grand budapest hotel, the imitation game, the wolf of wall street, pulp fiction 
85. fave actor - i have no idea

I’m tagging: @glowcherry @yoongihoneys @taelaev @dreamytaehyungx @rainpjm @satanbagel @nctit @jellyhyun @jinsbangtan

feel free to not do this!!

[katieeebugzz]

10/26/2020 11:10pm

monday delimmas.. but when do i not have one:

i meant to write and post this at 7, but i forgot about it and now here i am. like always, today (since it was monday) i had band practice. 1:50 to 3:10...like every monday. we started learning the last third of our drill and it’s actually hot garbage. i mean i know, we just started working on it, but damn why did the director write it like that. we started doing eveything in 7s like ?? very dumb. i do have a good bit of it down, but since you know....i’m in a show band, i have to do some weird dramatic performance while getting to one of my spots. it’s very embarrassing. i never know what to do so i just casually go there and then speed run the last 10 steps. what else do i do?

not to mention i march by this guy ive been i guess talking to...i don’t even know what we are. friends? talking? i have no idea. i went to his dorm one day and we watched avatar: the last airbender and walked his dog but that was about it. i mean we did eat a whole bag of jolly ranchers so theres that haha. but like, king what are we? and another downside of the pretty boy, he’s a stoner still in love with his ex that cheated on him. i understand they were together for 4 years and i’m very willing to help him through his delimma, but what if she wants him back? am i just going to be thrown away? i mean he told me that she was one of those “he’s just my guy best friend” type of girls and they’re most likely together.. but like there’s still a pinch of possibly that she can be like “oh i miss him” like!!

also side not to pretty lanky stoner boy, he’s 20 and i went to school with his little brother...yeah.

anyways— let’s get back to some more casual things shall we.. <3

after practice me and my bisexual pink haired friend go to starbucks and then to her dorm after every practice (even though i have classes i still do them) and her anniversary with her boyfriend was coming up. he’s a very nice guy i had about 2 conversations with him and if he hurt her i’d punch him.

but turns out they were supposed to be open.. but they were closed. all. day. and i’m not one of those straight white girls that drinks coffee all the time and kisses every males ass. no no. i’m the 5’0 bisexual pink bang girl that gets strawberry lemonades because they’re too scared to ask for anything else.

so me and my friend walked another 10 minutes to get drinks and snacks and headed back to her dorm. she has an emotional support cat named otter. he’s around 6 months old and likes to get in my backpack if i leave it unzipped. he’s a very sweet hyper-active boy. i got to my online modern art class and turns out she had a meeting so i didn’t have class! yay me! i really haven’t been motivated to go to class so i’ve been putting on the zoom call and seem like i’m there and just do anything else that i feel like doing. i’ve been too drained and worn out to do much else than cry and play animal crossing. i have a weeb tiktok account that surprisingly enough gained a lot of copy though out this pandemic. so i’m proud to say, that i have a 10k+ follower account that i started right before my graduation. i love my account, but i’m taking a small break due to the fact it’s not doing as well as it was before and now i feel unmotivated to do anything.

back to my day, while me and my friend came up with ways to get everything packed because she was going out of town for the day, her roommate stopped by. her roommate is a culinary major that a little bit taller than me and went to a school not too far from my school. we made jokes about how i thought her job at papa john’s was an addiction i didn’t want to talk about and i tried to keep otter out her room.

a couple hours later, me and my friend’s roommate helped her carry her and her cat’s things downstairs to her other friend’s car and i went home.

other than that, i’ve found out i have a crush on jack from supernatural and i’ve been thinking about asking my mom if she can cut my hair.

i hope everyone drank plenty of water and gets enough rest to carry them through the day tomorrow.

the worn out art student, katie :)

[beautyindisguise00]

Are you one of those people that LOVE to hug others?

Thursday October 1 2020 @2:53pm

1. When was the last time someone saw you naked? last weekend. my boyfriend

2. If you could bring someone back from the dead and spend an hour with them, who would it be and what would you do/say? my grandma. i’d ask her how she felt about how things are going with the big three family now

3. What is the greatest loss you’ve endured? my grandma

4. How would you describe your current mood? calm and relaxed

5. When was the last time you did something you were embarrassed by? crying myself to sleep last night. ugh, im so sensitive sometimes.

6. What was the last thing you lied about? i dont remember. haha

7. Where is your favorite place to have sex? still have my v-card,but the bed. haha

8. What is your earliest memory? getting lost at a sports tournament. haha

9. Do you ever drink or get high alone? i drink by myself, but not to get drunk

10. What type of a drunk are you? very chatty and giddy

11. What song (or a few songs, whatever) means a lot to you and why? there’s a lot.

12. When was the last time you revealed your feelings for someone? Were they accepted or rejected? last weekend to a guy friend, Luke last weekend to my boyfriend a few weeks ago to my best friend, Angela all where of different feelings, but thankfully they were all very accepting

13. What was the reason behind your last visit to the hospital? visiting a friend who was in a motorcycle accident

14. How do you tend to deal with a breakup? i haven’t been through a bad breakup and i hope i wont ever, but if i ever do. i’d probably cry myself to sleep each night and go through the motions through the day. i’d stay off social media until i’m ready to show my ex what he’s lost

15. What is the “worst” drug you’ve done? Are there any you will never try, or any you want to try? i’ve never done drugs

16. What is something you’ve done that you truly regret? forgetting to log out of my facebook messenger on my mom’s phone....

17. What does it mean to you to be a good person? Do you feel you are a good person? someone’s who’s kind. goes out of their way to help others. and many more. i can be a good person, but im not always

18. What is your philosophy on life/how do you generally choose to live or conduct yourself? enjoy life. be kind to others. bring glory to God

19. Do you view animals as being just as important as people? Why or why not? animals should be treated with care and kindness. 

20. When was the last time you were up all night and why? my boyfriend and i were out with his family

21. What is the worst thing you’ve done to yourself? What is the worst thing someone else has done to you? not love myself like i should be. form options about me without getting to know me

22. What is the most personal thing you’re willing to reveal? depends on who you are

23. What made you stop talking to the last person you cut out of your life? we just grew apart. neither one of us put effort in the friendship anymore

24. Is there a situation or person you haven’t been able to get over/forgive? not anymore, i’ve learned and moved on

25. Who was the last person to yell at you? Did you yell back? i havent been yelled at in a while.

26. Where did your last injury come from? no major injuries lately. the last one i can recall was when one of my kiddos rammed into my toes and my toe nail chipped off

27. What are some kinks or turn-ons you have, if any? uhhhh, neck kisses, dirty talk, nip play. hahahaha

28. What are you like during arguments? stubborn. haha. and i try to be right all the time. 

29. What is the worst thing you have said to another person? they’re a b

30. Where do you like to be kissed? lips and neck

31. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? the first one

32. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way? i was tired, sleep deprived, had a migraine from drinking too much. so i got upset at my boyfriend, but at least i knew not to say anything i’d regret to him.  we talked about it the day after and we’re all good now.

33. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them? if i wasnt already with my mom, then my mom. i’d tell her i love her and everyone else. i would want to hear her voice before i go.

34. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid? i’d tell those who are important to me first and spend as much time as i could with them.at first, i’d be afraid, but i know where i’m going so i’d just miss everyone more than anything

35. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? i dont see the choices

36. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not? i can’t see my boss saying that to me, but i’d do my best to save that dog

37. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most? well, essentially, they’re the same people so I’d end up getting hurt by both

38. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say? my best friend is my boyfriend. haha

39. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not? yes. I’d do that for my boyfriend so he’d be able to send one more hour with his grandpa

40. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend? yes. haha

41. Does love = sex? not for everyone

42.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not? honestly no. I also have financial things to take care of my own. I would very horrible, but i just can’t

43.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person? just shared my intimacy life with a guy friend on a long road trip. nothing too bad, but i dont really talk about stuff that personal to me. haha

44. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back? that i didn’t love them back or more so the feeling was not mutual 

45. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? my love for people. you can’t tell me to stop loving someone

46. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you? my kiddos at work

47. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why? honestly, i cant think of anything. not saying this last month was perfect, but it wasnt too bad

48.Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you? uhh, a wwe fighter. haha jk probably my boyfriend

49. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not? yes. i’d always to try save a life

50.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision? neither one of my grandmas are here 

51. Are you old fashioned? in some ways

52. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it? work. haha

53.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why? how it is true love when there’s a broken heart?

54.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be? being able to travel anywhere and anytime

55. What was the last thing you ate? a chocolate chip muffin

56. What kind of guys are you usually attracted to? guys who are kind to others, athletic, and hott. haha. honest truth

57. What’s the stupidest thing that’s happened to you that ended a friendship? they drunk way to much and got on my nerves

58. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve had sex at a time? vcard stil here but when my boyfriend comes to visit, we get intimate about 2-3 time a day. hahahaha morning, mid day, and night. lol

59. What reality shows do you watch? not much. sometimes KUWTK here and there 60. Post a video of yourself here: no thank you

61. Where do you work? at a daycare

62. Have you ever gone up to a car thinking it was yours and tried to get in it? no i always check the plates

63. Where do you buy most of your clothes? tj maxx

64. If you were very intelligent and had the capability to have any profession, what would you like to be? teacher. haha

65. What’s your most irrational fear? use to be dolls. ahaha

66. How many radio stations do you listen to? i have about five saved on my car, but i dont really listen to the radio often. i usually just listen to my own music

67. What kind of music do they have? today’s top hits and Christian

68. Would you rather go to Greece or Hawaii? hawaii!!

69. Musicals: Yay or Nay? depends some yes some i’d pass

70. What are the next concerts you’ll be going to? i dont have any planned right now

71. What was the last conversation you had with your best friend about? the meeting we had

72. Are you one of those people that LOVE to hug others? nah, depends on the person but a quick hug is okay if we’re not that close, but if we are then sure, hug on!

[vildenooras]

i was tagged by @valtersass thaaanks now i have a reason to avoid studying again! (hahhagsh i did this already yesterday and then just forgot this to my drafts but here it is noow)

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

1.      last drink: water

2.     last phone call: my mom

3.     last text message: i’m gonna go with whatsapp message bc i never send texts. It was to my best friend!

4.     last song you listened to: For you by Rita Ora and Liam Payne

5.     last time you cried: last night when i was at the movies. The Death Cure made me so saaaad. 

6.     dated someone twice? nope

7.     kissed someone and regretted it? nooooo

8.     been cheated on? nope

9.     lost someone special? 

10.   been depressed? 

11.   gotten drunk and thrown up? yup

fave colours:

12.   pastel pink

13.   grey

14.   basically all soft/pastel colors

in the last year have you…

15.   made new friends? yes ♥ ♥

16.   fallen out of love?  nope

17.   laughed until you cried? yessss! it’s the best

18.   found out someone was talking about you? not like bad things, but someone was talking about me to my friend.

19.   met someone who changed you? 

20.  found out who your friends are? yes ♥

21.   kissed someone on your facebook friends list? yes, but it was only a peck

22.  how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? almost all of them. 

23.  do you have any pets? noooooo

24.  do you want to change your name? no, i like mine

25.  what did you do for your last birthday? i was working and reading tmtts when i got off work haha. The day after my birthday i went to eat cake with my friend. I’m wild.

26.  what time did you wake up today? 9.00

27.  what were you doing at midnight last night? probably screaming at Giusy. Nooooo, i went to sleep at decent time for once so i was going to bed i think

28.  what is something you cant wait for? idk? 

29.  what are you listening to right now? Say It To My Face by Maty Noyes

30.  have you ever talked to a person named tom? no

31.   something that’s getting on your nerves? 

32.  most visited website: tumblr and ao3 haghsf

33.  hair colour: this weird color idk how to describe it ahah

34.  long or short hair: long

35.  do you have a crush on someone? no

36.  what do you like about yourself? i like that i get excited over things easily and that i’m hmm lively?or vibrant idk what’s the word but yeah!

37.  want any piercings? maybe one for in my ears

38.  blood type: no ideaaa

39.  nicknames: Noris, Norppa, Nonnu

40.  relationship status: single as can be

41.   zodiac: leo

42.  pronouns: she/her

43.  fave tv shows: Skam, Glee, The O.C. , Gossip Girl. And i watch A LOT reality TV sooo a lot of those haha.

44.  tattoos: no

45.  right or left handed: right

46.  ever had surgery: nope

47.  piercings: one tragus

48.  sport: ballet

49.  vacation: i would love to travel to Germany by car, driving through Sweden and Norway to get there.

50.  trainers: ???

more general

51.   eating: i ate noodles few hours ago yay

52.  drinking: water

53.  im about to watch: Salatut elämät (this finnish tv show hahasgha)

54.  waiting for: weekend of course

55.  want: find motivation to write my thesis. pleasee

56.  get married: YESSS! not now but someday

57.  career: something with education and languages

which is better

58.  hugs or kisses: hugs

59.  lips or eyes: eyes

60.  shorter or taller: taller

61.   older or younger: olde, but not a lot

62.  nice arms or stomach: arms 

63.  hookup or relationship: relationship

64.  troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant mostly, at my parents the troublemaker haha lol

have you ever:

65.  kissed a stranger: yes

66.  drank hard liquor: yes

67.  lost glasses: no

68.  turned someone down: yes

69.  sex on first date: no

70.  broken someone’s heart: i really don’t think so

71.   had your heart broken: yeah

72.  been arrested: no

73.  cried when someone died: yes

74.  fallen for a friend: 

do you believe in:

75.  yourself: trying to stay positive!

76.  miracles: yes

77.  love at first sight: noo

78.  santa claus: of course!

79.  kiss on a first date: yes

80.  angels: hmmm

other

81.   best friend’s name: Miia

82.  eye colour: blue-grey

83.  fave movie: Moulin Rouge

84.  fave actor: Keira Knightley

Aaaaah idk who i’m gonna tag??

@scripted-mindxx @noorakardemmomesaetre @saetremohn @evaetvilde  but only do this if you want to xx

[pagegoat]

I was tagged by @hummingbirdcas (yay does this mean we can be friends)

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people (lol I don’t know 20 people on here to even tag so it’ll probably be like 1)

1. Last drink: Diet Coke

2. Last phone call: my friend Sumner

3. Last text message: a video of a really cute dog to my mom and uncle

4. Last song you listened to: the final song from pitch perfect 1 (I’m working on learning the dance to it)

5. Last time you cried: surprisingly I don’t remember, it’s been a little while

6. Dated someone twice: nope no thank you

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: well not like right after but now I just generally regret having dated 2 of my exes so I guess yeah

8. Been cheated on: nope

9. Lost someone special: by death, no; by end of a friendship, yeah

10. Been depressed: I mean not like medically so no I guess? Not sure exactly what this is asking

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: twice. It’s not pleasant. The mere thought of redds apple ale makes me nauseous now

Fav colors

12. Emerald green

13. Dark teal

14. Dark purple

(basically I just love jewel tones ‘kay)

In the last year have you...

15. Made new friends?: yes, tons, because I came to college

16. Fallen out of love?: nope

17. Laughed until you cried?: this basically happens every time I laugh so yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you?: nope

19. Met someone who changed you?: I mean I became a partier when I came to school and met my friends here and I didn’t think I would so I guess kinda

20. Found out who your friends are?: yep definitely

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list?: nope

General

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life?: all of them

23. Do you have any pets?: a dog named Bob Wiley

24. Do you want to change your name?: nah

25. What did you do for your last birthday?: went to the beach with most of my best friends, saw dolphins, ate cake, it was by far the best birthday I’ve ever had

26. What time did you wake up today?: 7 am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night?: getting back to my dorm from my weekly trivia night

28. What’s something you can’t wait for?: being in a stable job that I enjoy

29. What are you listening to right now?: nothing but I’m watching the office

30. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: yes

31. Something that’s getting on your nerves?: when my roommate watches Netflix out loud while I’m trying to do homework (it doesn’t happen often but when it does it drives me nuts)

32. Most visited website: tumblr or Twitter

33. Hair color: dark brown

34. Hair length: it’s pretty long rn

35. Do you have a crush on someone: yes

36. What do you like about yourself: uhhhh I like my acting talents, I like my hair usually, I like my makeup skills, I like my baking and cookie decorating abilities

37. Want any piercing: well I passed out just getting my ears pierced so it’s a no from me

38. Blood type: O-

39. Nicknames: well maggie is a nickname for Margaret, mags, magg-o, tiny mags, pagegoat, marijuana maggie (that’s just from 2 of my friends and it’s a long story)

40. Relationship status: it’s complicated

41. Zodiac: Gemini (I know everyone hates us)

42. Pronouns: she/her

43. Fav tv shows: supernatural, Sherlock, the office, friends, psych, monk, Smallville, lost, probably something else I’m forgetting

44. Tattoos: none yet but I’m getting one sometime soon hopefully

45. Right or left handed: right

46. Ever had surgery: I had a cyst removed from my neck when I was 8, and I had scoliosis corrective surgery when I was 16 so I have a pretty rad scar all the way down my spine

47. Piercings: just regular old earlobes

48. Sport: uh....... choreography for musicals??

49. Vacation: basically anywhere in Italy, NYC, Germany, Austria

50. Trainers: no clue what that means

More general

51. Eating: just had some chick fil a and a donut

52. Drinking: still my Diet Coke

53. I’m about to watch: well I’m currently watching the office so

54. Waiting for: this is very vague but I’m gonna go with Thursday for the next supernatural episode

55. Want: for every store and restaurant and website to accept PayPal to make my life easier

56. Get married: I mean not anytime soon but someday

57. Career: work in NYC for either a publishing company or a magazine in editing

Which is better (I’m assuming these are in relation to a potential SO)

58. Hugs or kisses: depends on the person I guess?

59. Lips or eyes: eyes

60. Shorter or taller: enough taller that I can wear heels

61. Older or younger: within a year younger or 2 years older

62. Nice arms or stomach: both please?

63. Hookup or relationship: def relationship

64. Troublemaker or hesitant: little of both depending on situation

Have you ever

65. Kissed a stranger: nope

66. Drank hard liquor: yep

67. Lost glasses: maybe when I was little but not recently

68. Turned someone down: yep

69. Sex on first date: nope

70. Broken someone’s heart: yep

71. Had your heart broken: yep

72. Been arrested: nope

73. Cried when someone died: not that I recall

74. Fallen for a friend: yep, several times

Do you believe in

75. Yourself: yes? Most of the time?

76. Miracles: depends on definition of that but tentatively yes

77. Love at first sight: nope

78. Santa clause: sadly no

79. Kiss on first date: I didn’t realize that was a belief but yeah

80. Angels: yes

Other

81. Best friend’s name: tim

82. Eye color: technically hazel but they’re really green with just a little ring of brown around my pupil

83. Fav movie: uhhh all the back to the futures, o brother whereart thou, beauty and the beast new and old, Chicago, Groundhog Day, what about bob?, HP and the half blood prince

84. Fav actor: misha collins, cole sprouse, Alan rickman, Martin freeman (and not just cuz of Sherlock I swear), bill Murray, Christopher Lloyd, Tim curry, I know there are others I’m forgetting

hey @southerntinkerbelle if you wanna do this knock yourself out it literally took me like a week to actually get all of this typed out cuz I kept not having time to finish it

[thelastyearinmyforties]

T-Minus 2 Weeks: January

Two weeks from today is the day. The move from the 40s to the 50s. It’s starting to seem a little surreal. I don’t feel like I’m about to be 50. What would that feel like anyway? I’m pretty certain I don’t look 50...maybe I do. Maybe this is what someone who’s almost 50 years old looks like. Who’s to say? I’m positive I don’t act 50. I mean the very real fact is, I may have already lived more than half of my life. That’s weird. All I know is, it’s coming and I can’t do anything to stop it. Now, let’s talk about January...

Where do I even begin? January has never been a favorite, but for most of my life I tolerated it. But something happened in 2011 and January and I have been in a fight ever since. But this year...this year January is playing dirty and I am so ready to be done with it that I will sprint into February just to get out of it.

January 2011

First day of work after the holiday: Employee resigns, totally unexpectedly.

Second day back: Left my purse at home - mind you at that time I was commuting 32 miles to work.

Third day: Fell down the stairs at my house.

Last day of that first week back: Employee who resigned in December worked her last day.

I honestly had to take a couple of days off work and fly out of town for the weekend in an attempt to regroup. It mostly worked. But then the next January rolled around...

January 2012

During the first week of the month I had to have surgery to fix some girl problems that had been plaguing me for more than two months. I’ll spare you the details but suffice it to say, it wasn’t the most delightful way to start the year. A little over two weeks later I was diagnosed with pneumonia and had to cancel a trip to New York City and miss two weeks of work. In addition, in the middle of that, an employee resigned amidst some legal allegations.

Yeah. All of that sucked.

January 2013

Things at work went haywire and someone I trusted and respected threw me under the bus and then just stopped interacting with me completely. I honestly wasn’t sure I was going to have a job when things were over. In addition, a previous employee filed a lawsuit in which I was named. It was truly one of the most stressful times I’ve ever had at work and in my personal life.

So yeah. That January sucked even more than the one with pneumonia. 

January 2014

I decided to fight the next January by not being here for part of it so I planned a short trip to Denver to see my mom. That was all well and good until the weather delayed my flight back and I spent hours upon hours in the Denver airport. By the time I got back I was so sick that I thought I might die. But I had training the next day at work - a 4-day training to get certified in something - so in I went. It was a horrible day, one where another employee and I had a bad interaction, partially due to me not being 100% myself and partially due to me not understanding how to work with her. I went to the doctor the next day and was diagnosed with two separate infections, loaded up with drugs, and told to stay home the rest of the week. So yeah, I missed the training, felt terrible about how things ended with my coworkers, and could hardly function enough to even turn on the TV. 

January 2015

This was probably the least traumatic of the Januarys since 2011, likely because The Mother took things into control and came here. Still, work was unbearably stressful and I kept looking around the corner to see when the shoe was going to drop.

January 2016

The month started once again with an employee leaving, which is frankly just the worst way to start a year. But I took things down a different path that year, deciding to host an early birthday celebration for myself by flying in one of my favorite musicians to play a house show. My mom and Frank came out and frankly, now that I’m reading this, it seems clear I need The Mother to be here in order for January to be okay. If only I’d come to that revelation sooner...

January 2017

Once again I took some time at the beginning of the year to visit Colorado and spend time with The Mother. That was all good, and actually, things were going well until I went to the doctor when I got home. This was a new doctor since I’d just switched to Kaiser and seeing someone new is always a little stressful, but it had to be done. During the course of that meeting I was told how overweight and unhealthy I was so yay! Happy New Year to me! I was put on new medication, told to eat better and to lose some weight. Meanwhile, when all my test results came back a few days later I was as healthy as I knew I was. But whatever. 

Later that same day I had to deal with the DMV, but I had an appointment so it wasn’t actually terrible. After that I had some lunch, did some shopping then came home. Sometime in the middle of the night is when the food poisoning hit, and quite honestly, it was the third time I’d had food poisoning in a year so I was wholly unamused. I was supposed to go back to work the next day but that didn’t happen and I ended up home the rest of the week. I mean really...

Oh, and did I mention? Two employees resigned before I even went to Colorado...because of course they did...

And now here we are in January of 2018...

I was really trying to have a better attitude about it, thinking maybe last year was the worst...that food poisoning was the real low point...oh how wrong I was.

I took the whole first week off this year thinking that if I didn’t even step foot into work until the second week it would be better. But to be fair, it was already stressful because my boss retired in December and I didn’t have a new one - still don’t. So the higher level boss (VP) is managing us on an interim basis and the unknown factor of that was already adding a level of stress I wasn’t excited about. But honestly, it was pretty okay when I went back to work. We had a great first meeting and I was feeling pretty good. Silly me.

One of the worst weeks of life began Thursday, January 11. I left work early to head to a concert in San Francisco, a concert that had been rescheduled from December. I was barely on the freeway when my Check Air Pressure light came on, and moments later I felt the tire going flat. When all was said and done I had a new tire and didn’t make it to the concert. Not fun. But I was mostly okay. I was able to get a refund on the concert and I didn’t get hurt, nor did anyone else. 

But the night wasn’t over. It became a joke, to be honest. I decided to get a good dinner, sit and relax, and move on from the tire drama, but that was just ridiculous thinking on my part. I couldn’t find a place to park between two parking lots for the first place I wanted to go so I changed my path. I parked at the next place only to get to the door to find it closed due to a plumbing problem. Because of course. I decided at that point to just get Chipotle and bring it home. As i was standing in line one of the workers announced that they were out of chips. Seriously?! I mean, that’s the primary reason I go there! I got right out of line and sat in my car for several minutes before deciding to go where I should have gone in the first place, my favorite local Mexican spot. Thankfully the food was good but even it wasn’t normal. They never brought me chips and salsa until I was already eating. I didn’t even want it at that point. It was just ridiculous.

Two days later, when the Sharks won the game in overtime, the guy sitting next to me somehow elbowed me in the head so hard that I got a concussion. Having had one before, I knew it instantly. It was certainly not intentional but man, did it hurt. I’m still not 100% recovered from that. If you’ve ever had a concussion then you know how it feels. If you haven’t, be thankful. It’s not fun. I’ve had a headache since then - yes, still even this morning - and my eye is still not back to normal. I had to cancel plans with two different friends a couple of days later, and also had to cancel going to another event later in the week. 

And then came Wednesday, the night of the event I decided not to go to because of the concussion. I felt crummy, the weather was gross, and I should have just taken myself home and gone to bed. But no. That would have been too simple. I went to one place for dinner and decided to sit in the bar because there wasn’t a wait. Except there was because I waited almost ten minutes and no one even said boo to me. One server walked by my table five or six times and never even looked at me. I left. Irritated. And hungry. I decided to avoid any other restaurants and decided to just go to the grocery store, a place I don’t enjoy. 

The store was pretty busy but I did self check-out and headed home. Part way home I realized I didn’t have my ring, the ring that was my aunt’s wedding ring, given to me by my grandparents about ten years ago, the ring worth more than all my other jewelry combined. I told myself not to panic, that it had probably fallen in the trunk, or one of my bags, so I carefully got out of the car, checked all around, emptied the bags, and looked around the trunk as much as I could in the dark. There was no ring. 

So I drove back to the store, parked in almost the same place and walked back in, looking as I did. At this point I was panicked. I talked to an employee to ask if anyone had turned in a ring and she directed me to another employee, a store manager. When I told her I’d lost a ring she asked what it looked like. I told her it was gold with diamonds, and she said she’d seen a gold ring on the ground and another woman picked it up as if it were hers. It was at this point my heart sank. I remembered the woman. She’d been at the self check-out in front of me, and she had a stroller filled with all kinds of things. She was kind of all over the place and I’m not sure she was all there. 

The manager went and looked at the security footage but couldn’t see enough to confirm it was my ring, but the timing was too coincidental for me. I gave her my contact information and told her I’d send her a photo of the ring when I got home. I walked all around the store, checking in all the sections I’d been to earlier, then walked to the car and made the hard call to my mom. 

As she can attest, that’s when I completely lost it. My aunt was her sister, her only sister, my only aunt. She died more than 20 years ago, far too young, and the ring held great sentimental value. My mom, of course, told me it was an accident but I was spiraling and could hardly breathe. January had played the worst hand of all this time and I wasn’t even sure I could drive home. I decided to call the police and report the ring as lost/stolen then waited for them to arrive so I could relive the whole thing again. 

Almost an hour and a half later, after there was no conclusive evidence that the ring had fallen off there or that the woman had stolen it, I was left with nothing but emptiness. I realize that sounds dramatic but that’s how I felt. I came home and found the photo, sent it to the woman at the store then posted it all over social media in the hopes that somewhere, somehow, it showed up, knowing deep in my soul that it was gone forever. Here’s the photo one more time...just in case...

I was calmer the next day but still felt empty. I couldn’t believe I’d been so careless. I blamed the concussion. I blamed January. But really, it was my fault. And even if the woman took it knowing it wasn’t hers, it was my fault for losing it in the first place. It’s been a few days now and I know it’s gone. I know it’s just a thing, and that no one blames me. I know people lose things all the time, many more valuable than this. I know I can’t replace it and I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that maybe that woman needed it more than I did. But it’s not easy and that’s why it’s taken me so many days to write about it. January has nearly destroyed me and there are still 10 days left. Honestly, it would just be cruel if anything else happened.

So there you have it. January is the actual worst and next year I literally may have to take the entire month off and hide away in a cabin in the mountains. We’ll see...

[dustandthunder]

ive had a lovely few days.

almost everyone is back in the flat now which is cool, feels like forever since I’ve seen them.

Gina and I went to the gym and then I had an assignment to do so Scott came to my room to do it. We FaceTimed Jaz which was awesome cause I haven’t seen her in ages and ages. And then Gina and Shannon came in too while we were doing the work (I use ‘we’ very loosely, i didn’t understand anything so Scott did mine for me). The three of them sat on my bed and I sat in the desk chair and Jaz was in the phone and it was so cool. Scott only got 50 % on my test but I don’t really care. I did ok in the other assignments for that module so hopefully it won’t make too much difference. Pretty sure I’ll pass regardless anyway (I hope so haha)

Anyway, while Scott was doing the tests, I was doing my makeup cause matt was coming to visit!

The night before we were talking until pretty late. He’d had the day off cause it was Sunday and was on early yesterday so he had to be up at 4 in the morning, but because he’s been on lates a lot recently he wouldn’t be able to get to sleep until around 3. And of course I don’t like to sleep when I could be talking to him so I stayed up too. It was one of those nights where we discuss old stuff and he asks all the questions because we can do that now and it’s ok because we’re over all the shit things and it’s not awkward at all (literally nothing is awkward between us I don’t know why I even needed to say that). But we were talking on FaceTime for ages and I said he should come and see me after work tomorrow (which is now yesterday if that makes sense) cause he finished at 2 and then had the next day (now today) off, and the day after (now tomorrow) he’s on late. So it worked pretty perfectly really !! And he was like yes sounds like a plan .... so yay !

He got here literally as soon as I was done, oddly perfect timing really haha. I was so excited to see him :) it was so lovely, I’m so sad now cause I’m writing this after he’s left and I feel so lonely again haha. Not like properly lonely, just weird cause I’m sat in my room on my own now and it’s all tidy, when earlier all of his stuff was everywhere and my mattress and the air bed were on the floor and there were pillows and duvets and blankets and cushions all over (cause we always make a double bed on the floor and push the single bed frame on its side against the wall cause it’s too small for both of us). Feels like a really awesome sleepover. I guess that’s literally what it is anyway but you know what I mean.

So anyway last night we made the makeshift bed on the floor and then we went out for dinner. We went to this cool place not too far away which is like an American diner and grill. I’ve noticed it before but we’ve never been. It was so lovely inside, with all the booths and red and cream upholstery and Coca Cola fridges and neon tube lights and a big motorbike hanging from the ceiling. It was pretty empty, only two other tables of people. That was nice too, cause I could take photos and have a proper look at it without looking accidentally at people . Haha. The food was good too I would definitely go there again, although it was quite a lot . I think my stomach wasn’t used to a big meal because I haven’t really eaten in a week or so. It was still amazing though. Afterwards it was getting dark but we went for a drive like we always do and we listened to soft songs and it was so nice to be back together, even though it’s not even been very long.

Side note here: I feel so clingy because I miss him so so so much and it’s crazy how much I want his constant company, I hope it’s normal haha. I just really love him to a point I didn’t even realise was possible, and I’m so grateful for every second. I really can’t help being so soppy.

We drove through the mountains and we parked in the lay-by that we always do and we talked about how the new car he’ll get has a retractable glass roof so we can do this sort of thing and look at the stars. I think with that roof I would really want to kneel or stand on the seats and be half way out of the car while he drove, like Sam does in The Perks of being a Wallflower. And listen to stevie nicks singing landslide and maybe cry too, because I’m thinking about that now and it’s making me get a tight chest.

I mean that’s pretty illegal anyway, so maybe not. I’ll settle for holding my hands up through the roof and singing along with Matt and smiling like crazy and him holding my thigh and grinning at me in a way that still makes me cry. Why is my go to thing crying. Everything makes me cry. That sounds amazing anyway.

We sat there in the car for a while. The air was really still and pretty warm compared to what you would think it should have been. There was no signal there so we were listening to the shit on the radio and I had my head on his collar. Perfect nights man

Then we drove back, going too fast as always, and it was pitch black so you could just see the mountaintops either side and I called my mom and it was just great.

Matt was tired so we didn’t go to sleep too late really, he was completely gone by half midnight. I was sleepy but still awake, just listening to his breathing and kissing his shoulder blades and feeling the warmth. god tonight is gonna be shit being back on my own again. I was thinking earlier, in some ways i think it’d be better to not visit because it makes it a million times harder to readjust after yknow ? But at the same time I’d definitely rather deal with that than not see him. I can’t wait til it’s just very single night. I mean it is every single night when I’m back there but I always have to come back to uni. Summer will be good though. Going to work or whatever every day then coming home to falling back into bed next to him. I feel like I sound like one of those people who puts on social media about how their dream is to have a husband and a ton of children and just make it their life to look after them all and never have anything for them self. Haha . (Not that i have a problem with those people at all). But I’m just saying it’ll be nice to have such a long period of not being away.

We got up pretty late, obviously he hadn’t slept the night before so it was understandable, although I was getting pretty restless. We didn’t do too much today. We just went to a town further along the coast and got lunch and went around there for a while. There were lots of sweet dogs everywhere :)))

Talking of dogs, Matt and I have finally decided what dogs were gonna try n get when we have our own place. To be honest this may well not happen but as of now it’s the plan, so @ future me, don’t hold me to this. Ok so we’ve decided we’re going to have three, a Labrador because they’re just lovely, a lil spaniel like Lexie because she’s adorable and I can’t imagine life without her now, and a little sausage dog because we both love them so much. I hope we can rescue some that would be amazing :)

Oh also, when we were walking from my place to matts car, we just randomly saw matts cousin. So weird, turns out he goes to my uni and he lives on my accommodation site ??? Matt had no idea, we just saw him out of the blue. I’ve never met him before I had no idea who he was cause when their family all went to their grandparents at Christmas he didn’t go cause he was ill so I didn’t see him. He’s two years older than me but he’s in first year apparently. How crazy... small world haha.

After we got back from that place, we were going to go to the beach we always go to, but we forgot and came back to my flat. We just got back in bed and cuddled for agessssss with the curtains drawn so it was all dark.

I didn’t want him to go. Obviously. I always get pretty sad when he leaves but hey its only a few weeks now til I’m done with the first year ! That’s so mad honestly . Every single day I tick the date off of the calendar poster I have on my wall, and as of tomorrow I’ll be in the last month .

Anyway, I walked him to the car and helped carry his things down. And then he was gone ! (After a looooong hug) :(

He’s home now, back safe thank fuck. Scares the shit out of me everytime he drives pretty much anywhere that I’m not with him. But he’s ok, so I am too.

After he went I played monopoly with Gina and Shannon, and Gina and I went to do laundry. She paid mine again. She’s always like yeah no worries I’ll pay and I’m just like ???? Thank you so much. It’s not like i couldn’t pay myself but she just insists that she’s got it. Really so grateful .

Right now, like I said, I’m sat on my bed on my own. Matt keeps sending me photos of the dog, she’s so cute. I’m pretty tired, it’s after midnight. I need to take what’s left of my makeup off and go to bed.

It’s been a nice few days, and much as I’m a bit sad now, I am appreciative and happy for that.