#my mom is a shining example to me of never caring what people think

[dreamaboutwhathappens]

you all may think you’ve got good costumes for the eras tour but my mom is going as a lavender haze. everything is purple and tulle and hazy and and she got purple eyeshadow and she is SO excited about it. her shirt (which she sewed herself) says “in my lavender haze with THE ERAS TOUR KC”. she came up with the whole idea herself and just facetimed me one day to show me her completed masterpiece. she’s 54. you will never have what trish has

[astrologuzzy]

✿ MORE ASTRO OBSERVASHUNS ✿

I’m back to spill more astrology observations, lessgetit!!! ˃̵ᴗ˂̵

Also, quick reminder that these are just MY observations and opinions I’ve gathered, so take what resonates and leave what doesn’t! mwahhh 😽💋

☆ 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 seem to really like physical displays of affection very much. Every Gemini I knew always loved giving hugs specifically lol. They may enjoy physical touch as a love language.

★ I often notice how 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐈𝐎 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 aren’t scared to give their opinions no matter how controversial they may be. They don’t care if people agree, if they truly believe in it then they will share it and whoever disagrees can kiss their own ass. Which can seem intimidating to many especially with how much intensity and passion Scorpio brings to the table.

☆ I find it so easy to spot someone with 𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒. You guys give a very mellow and grounded energy that is very specific to Earth signs. Y’all have that signature down to earth presence or a very firm/calm tone of voice that I recognize instantly even thru text lol.

★ Everyone wants to call Leos the most “cocky” sign but have y’all seen 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈? They’re the real culprit here lol. These guys are number one fans of themselves (do I even need to make examples lol) and I respect it tbh.

☆ Speaking of 𝐋𝐄𝐎, they love to just disappear for like days or weeks straight out of absolutely nowhere and then come back like nothing happened and resume from where they left off. Like sir, are you not gonna explain why you just ghosted everybody? Lol like are you gonna explain where you was? (double points if that Leo has Sagittarius or Aquarius influences in chart cos they’re even more prone to going mia).

★ When people have 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 in their big 6 or heavy Mars influence in the chart I notice that they tend to sound/come across way ruder than they’re actually being lol. They can be very dominant and intimidating in conversations. You’d think they’re angry or being mean but they’re just asking you to pass them the water bottle lmao. Often I think they don’t even realize that themselves since they’re just built that way.

☆ People with 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐈𝐎 & 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 in their big 3 together kinda scare me lol (in a good way). They usually are very into occult stuff and/or are strongly religious and showcase it very openly and firmly. Sometimes they just have a very intimidating aura/demeanor to them. I notice how they frequently tend to be very into dark colors and themes/styles too. They don’t f*ck around at all. Love y’all 💚

★ People with a 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 𝐒𝐔𝐍 usually have their Moon sign qualities be more noticeable. With Geminis I tend to catch onto their Moon sign behavior before I realize that they’re a Gemini. Could be a mutable thing where they’re versatile enough that their Moon qualities shine more than their sun sign qualities. Very frequently when I try to guess a Gemini’s sun sign I actually guess their Moon sign. They tend to act like their Moon more than other zodiac signs in my experience. They may not even notice it either.

☆ I hope I don’t offend anyone for this one but people with a 𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐔𝐍 𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 (frequently more moon) mother tend to have veryyyy chaotic childhood stories about her. Somehow these moms tend to often be pretty emotionally unhinged people (no offense but in my experience so many of my friends have a mom with a Pisces sun and/or Pisces moon and they all always tell me how their moms have crazy mood swings or a very erratic behavior). I’m honestly so sorry for anyone who had, or still has to deal with such an environment. 🫂💚

★ 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 & 𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒 are the best opposite sign duo in astrology imo. I’ve never seen many Geminis or Sags that say they dislike or don’t get that along with one another. We really click well and even I personally can testify that lol. These two always besties.

☆ Also 𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 loooove anything to do with 2D characters or just fictional stuff in general. They love their ffs, romance books, making fan arts or edits. Every Pisces I knew had some kind of obsession with multiple fictional characters or shows and each one of them had accounts dedicated to making art or edits about said characters/shows lol. No matter if it’s a manga, an anime, a video game, a song, a movie or a cartoon, a Pisces placement will most probably romanticize a character or wtv it is they feel resonates with them in some way. I know lotta people do that but Pisces are usually more prone to be very frequent and indulgent with it in my experience. Not judging anyone, just pointing it out lol.

That’s all for todayyy ☀︎

Also please don’t copy or claim my content without credit or consent ♡

[lookforsomeoneelse]

Can we get some more sahsrau? Does not have to be a long one-shot, I just really like how you write! And I would love to hear more of your ideas!

Maybe about how specific characters show that they interact with the reader? For example, how they act before reader is in HSR, and once reader is in HSR? As for characters, you can choose who ever you want! You're the one writing it after all.

As for writing, you asked if writing gets better if you do it often? And well, for me what works is writing, doesn't matter if it not good, just enjoy yourself. Plus reading books, fanfics, or whatever you like once again, and this time try to pay attention to how things are worded in your favorite books/fanfics.

Anyway, take good care of yourself cause there are always people who care about you, and stay hydrated!

Alright! First ask. Only gonna be headcanons because I’m a procrastinator. Reader discretion is advised, because I have no idea what to put for the content warning. I think it only goes for Kafka though.

Herta

I touched on her briefly in another post, but know that despite her arrogance and apathy towards most, she’s just as down bad for you as the rest of the cast.

She gives her absolute best when it comes to you.

Also in Simulated Universe, your word is absolute law. If the simulated you decides that the project is a bad idea or something, Herta will absolutely stop, regardless of the resources she put into its creation.

I imagine her to be with you the exact opposite of how she treats everybody else- with the utmost respect and attention.

Once you actually do make it inside of the game for whatever reason, Herta is absolutely ecstatic.

When you’re actually around her though…

Let’s say that her IQ drops by a significant amount.

Combined with her intense faith, this can lead to a lot of misunderstandings and false assumptions.

You can legit just be sitting down or something and herta will be in the background like “WRITE THAT DOWN, WRITE THAT DOWN!”

Misha

Born as a reincarnation(?) of the Watchmaker, I’m not actually going to discuss him. Rather, I wanna talk about who he originally was, and (technically) his creation.

Mikhail Char Legwork, aka The Watchmaker, was also a devout follower of yours.

All throughout his travels on the Express, he never lost sight of your mercy, which allowed him to survive on his long journeys.

Thanks to this, you end up as a “character” in the Clockie cartoon, who the writers show as a mysterious figure who gave Clockie his powers.

There’s also a LOT of propaganda surrounding you in basically every piece of media, (in the game) including Clockie.

Speaking of media…

Robin

ah yes, the shining popstar of the universe herself, Robin!

Robin’s no doubt another faithful follower of yours.

She believes that her amazing voice and innate talent came from you (it actually came from Chevy, holy cow is she a good singer) and she gives many praises to you for that.

In fact, do you want to know what her best selling single is?

It’s not Sway to my Beat in Cosmos, nor Hope is The Thing with Feathers, and it’s not even If I Can Stop One Heart From Breaking!

It’s actually a song- a hymn, rather, composed and sung specifically just for you.

Ask basically anybody who is a fan of hers and I can bet that they know the lyrics by heart and can absolutely sing it backwards.

Make it into their reality, and you’ll get free access to front seats to any and all of her concerts. And when I say “front seat” I mean you get a whole ass throne specifically built for your comfort.

She will die of joy if you ask her for an autograph. Keep that in mind.

Kafka

last but most certainly not least, it’s our mom, but more commonly known as Kafka, the charismatic and beautiful Stellaron Hunter with a big bounty and big boobies. (I’m f#cking ashamed of myself for writing that)

She’s the one character on this list that we haven’t been given a backstory for- except some voice lines, but they really don’t tell us anything.

As such, the only real thing I can tell you is that she’s faithful to you, just like everyone else.

It becomes a completely different song and dance if you come to them, though.

She’s essentially a glorified wine aunt, and she will treat you out for whatever you wish.

She’s also very very defensive of you.

That guy over looks stole a glance? Dead next morning.

That girl goes even within 50 meters of you without your permission? Her fate is sealed.

Kafka is by no means like this to you, however.

She’s probably gonna lick your shoes free of charge.

(A/N: I, uh, really like asks. please send more. you probably won’t get anything good, but least you’ll get what you requested.)

[houpss]

Hey, can I ask you to write about those little moments between Chan and Lily? maybe their daily life?

I love your work so much, it literally makes me shine and realize that Lily makes people happy 😭☺️

🧊–Peiring:Bang Chan x Hwang Lily ¡!✥

This will be more like a headcanon, simply because I love headcanons and some of my own ideas.I'm also preparing their message, which you will see soon.

🧊–return to masterlist ¡! ✥

There are references to sex! Not recommended for reading by persons under a certain age

Chan, who takes care of Lily even if he is far away from her. Evening calls, where they talk for so long and talk about their day, small reminder messages, Lily’s mentions in the bubble about the chan and vice versa.

I think she'll sit on his lap while he works on music. Lily's back is pressed against Chan's strong chest, his big hot hand is on her waist, and the other is typing on the laptop. Chan is much calmer and more pleasant to work when his loved one is next to him.

Lily puts him to bed when he has insomnia. She literally asks the manager at night to take her to the second dorm, because when Chan has insomnia, he becomes so soft and talkative :(((

Chan always checks Lily's bag for documents, water, snacks and pads. If she didn’t take any of this, then he will definitely replenish the supplies, and take the documents and carry them himself. Lily's period is not a common topic, but you always need to prepare.

Chan definitely writes songs about Lily! for example Silent Cry or Connected...

Weekend together and with the boys! the guys are having fun somewhere in front, and Chan and Lily walk behind them, holding hands and watching the guys. Sometimes Lily also fools around and Chan likes it so much

There is a song about Chan in Lily's solo album 😉

Lily really helped Chan fall in love with himself, because she loves him so much! she made him believe that he was loved, wonderful, handsome and that everyone needed him so much.

They fly together to Australia to visit Chan's family! ohhh how they love Lily 🥹 Hannah and Lily text a lot, Lily is so interested in this girl. Chan's parents are so kind to Lily and so respectful of Son's choice. Lily keeps in touch with Chan's mom through messengers! Berry is so cute around them.

Lily once invited Chan to have a wedding in Sydney and BOY WAS SO CONFUSED...after all, they had never thought or talked about the possibility of getting married, it was too early for that)

I think that Lily may well be running and jumping in the corridors of the company, and Chan runs after her and tries to calm her down, but he also laughs out loud because of Lily's antics

Stay ship them so much and do so many edits, works and other things with them, but they don’t even imagine that this is all reality :)))

Neither Chan nor Lily like that the company uses them as a method of promotion, and Lily quarrels a lot with the directors.

About Lily...she threatened the director of the company to allow them to continue "Chan's room". Lily took this with a huge risk, but she knew how Chan and Stay liked “Chan’s room” and Lily achieved her goal! The director is wary of Lily on some occasions.

Chan scolded her then, but was so grateful to her.

And the members tease them so much about relationships! and often parody them, most of all Hyunjin and Minho do this.

Chan knows what to do when Lily has severe anxiety attacks. He wraps her in a soft hug, strokes her hands and tells her different stories, it helps her so much to distract herself. He calls her very gently and helps her not to think or feel.

About Lily's Family...oh, first of all, her father hates her because she's an idol and doesn't talk to him anymore. Secondly, he doesn't know that Lily is in a Relationship with Chan. Lily's mother secretly supports her daughter and even attended the Stray kids concert in Seoul in 2023. Lily cried so much then :(((Chan knows Lily’s mother! and she blessed their relationship, which is very important.

HE LOVES HER BOOBS, JUST ACCEPT IT.

About sex

Chan is quite soft, but he is clearly a dom! but there were literally several times when Lily took that leading position

I think he likes soft sex in the morning, filled with praise and vanilla talk.

Soft sex after a hard day and hard, teasing sex when Chan wants Lily to beg and whine

As for oral fixation, they have it equally. They both love it and give it to each other whenever they want.

Lily can also dominate when she just wants to.

He teases Lily even outside the house.

Their favorite position: Lily lying on her back on the mattress (their favorite place is the bed), Lily's legs wrapped around the vat's hips as he thrusts into her.

Sometimes! possible games with vibrators or hyperstimulation.

perhaps (!) he will forbid her to cum, he is so pleased when she begs and whines.

I think Chan is very loud in bed and Lily has soft moans but whines a lot when she gets too horny.

[artist-issues]

Forgive me if you've already discussed it, but what's your opinion of "Brave?"

I want to like it, but somehow (I haven't taken the time to analyze it) it doesn't quite fit together. The story is much more about the mother learning and growing than about Merida. I actually didn't like Merida very much.

No it’s okay, I actually haven’t ever discussed Brave, and I haven’t watched it or analyzed it in a long while. So forgive me, I’ll analyze while I verbalize, so this might be a little all over the place, but your observations give me a starting place!

It definitely isn’t my favorite Pixar movie, but I don’t think it’s a poorly made movie, either.

I will say it’s not true that it’s much more about Queen Elinor learning and growing than Merida does, (but I can see why you’d come away with that.) I think the movie actually does a really intentional job of showing them both, equally, learning and growing toward one another’s points of view. Way better than Turning Red did, anyway.

I mean, for example, they parallel each other’s “hypothetical argument.” They’re both struggling to communicate with the other. The first act is Merida being taught by Elinor, unwillingly. The second act is Elinor being taught (how to fish and survive) in the woods, at first unwillingly. Then she learns to trust Merida knows better and follows Merida’s lead to survive out there. Just like, when she enters the Great Hall and is ready to give up control of her fate for keeping the peace, you see that Merida has finally learned to follow her mom’s lead as a Princess, too. They go back-to-back, and learn almost equally.

I would put it like this: Merida learns that Queen Elinor was right all along—AND she learns more about who Queen Elinor is and how to understand her. On the flip side, Queen Elinor just learns more about who Merida is and how to communicate with her.

So that’s much better than a movie that says, “hey the mom is wrong and should let her daughter do whatever she wants, I guess.”

In general, the story is about a mom who wants her daughter to fulfill her fate, because it’s what’s best for her—but the daughter doesn’t want to follow anybody’s lead, and thinks she needs to get as far away from being traditional as possible.

Here, I’ll try to dive into it.

Queen Elinor knows that tradition is important, because she understands the lessons hidden in those traditions. The Princess sacrifices her own independence as a symbol of unity for the kingdom, by marrying one of the lord’s sons. She’s not just a symbol of unity—she’s a symbol of peace, wherever she goes. Clean, tidy, on time, never ruffled, in a world full of brutish hairy men who’s favorite pastime is killing each other. That’s what Queen Elinor knows is important. For the big picture. For everyone, including Merida.

And she’s right. A Queen’s selflessness saves her people.

But. Trying to force a Princess who doesn’t understand or believe in that lesson to do it anyway is no good either. You can’t force a leader to live by principals they don’t believe in. When you do, you get Mor’du, the demon Prince.

So there’s this balance. Yes, Merida, you’re fated, by birth, to lead and be a shining beacon of hope and peace in a war-torn land. That’s a good thing. But you can only be that leader and beacon when you’ve accepted it.

Queen Elinor doesn’t start out twitch that balance. She’s just trying to force Merida into her fate. Why? It’s the age-old struggle of parenting: you know what’s best for your kid, so you try to get them into that safe-zone as fast as possible. But they don’t get it, so they buck and kick and you decide “I don’t care if you don’t get it, I’m going to force it on you because it’s what’s best.” And you know where that attitude, of “you’ll do it, and I don’t care how you feel about it” comes from?

Fear. Fear that if your kid is given an inch to argue, buck, kick, run away, that they’ll run right out of your control into danger.

And what’s the movie called?

Brave.

And Merida doesn’t want to be a Princess because…”I’m not ready for this.” Fear. What’s Merida afraid of? Her own fate. She’s not fated to be an adventurer, she’s fated to be a Princess. She just has a wrong idea of what that means.

And they both think that they know, not only what’s best, but where the other person is wrong. Just like how Prince Mor’du thought he knew that he could be a better leader on his own than with his family. Both stem from pride. Which “tore the bond” of their love for each other.

Because—and now we’re back to their broken relationship, which is the real story here—

Queen Elinor and Merida can’t communicate with that pride, that false image of who the other person is and what they supposedly want, in the way. So it takes Queen Elinor getting out of her comfort zone and into Merida’s (the wild) to understand that Merida can survive and choose what’s right, on her own, and doesn’t need to do it Queen Elinor’s way. It also took Merida getting out of her comfort zone and into her mother’s (having to stop a fight between warring lords because her mom’s not around to do it, which is a snapshot of her future) to understand what her mother has always been saying.

Basically, the scene where she sees Mor’Du’s story is true is where Merida changes and grows the most as a character. Because that’s her suddenly realizing that her mom was right. And that’s a really good allegory for growing up and parenting. You can tell your kid all the right things and teach them all the right lessons, but at some point, it has to become real to them on their own.

It’s even neat because that scene is shot with Merida down in “the cave of discovery, “ while her mom is where?

Watching from afar. Not in there with her.

So yeah, those are my disheveled thoughts on Brave. It’s a good movie. It does feel like something about the actual events in the movie are a little lackluster—to be honest, the scenes where Merida is teaching her mom in the woods come to mind. I mean, on paper, all she’s really doing is teaching her to fish and do something a little unladylike. And then to calmly wait for the Wisps to appear instead of chasing them down. The events aren’t as…deep or attention grabbing as I think they could’ve been. But that’s okay, because it still gets the point across.

Thanks for asking!

[lunarlegend]

okay i have one more thing to say about that bad doujinshi and then i promise i'll shut up

it works calling Ignis Noct's 'mom' and doesn't work calling Ignis Gladio's 'wife', because Ignis' relationship with Noctis is completely familial and platonic

Ignis does motherly things for Noct, but he is still a man, and he acts, dresses, and carries himself as a man

one of the things i love most about Ignis as a character is the way he destroys gender norms by being a guy in a suit who appears to be very intimidating, but he also cooks and sews

and he is never disrespected or thought of as less because of any of that...he is valued for being who he is and doing what he does

Ignis is a shining example of how it's okay to be a gentle and soft man who is naturally good at taking care of people, and it doesn't make him any less of a man.

the problem with calling Ignis Gladio's 'wife' though, is that it's just plain homophobic

a gay relationship is between men, it consists of two men who are attracted to each other

it doesn't mean one of them is 'the woman', and there is no role for a woman...they are men.

imagining one of them as a woman is just a gross excuse to mentally turn a homosexual relationship into a heterosexual one. it's insulting on so many different levels, not only to the characters, but to actual real people who deal with these bullshit stereotypes every single day.

and with Gladnis in particular, there is so much about their canon dynamic, as men, that is deep and beautiful and profound...their relationship is perfect just the way it is. i don't understand how or why anyone would feel the need to change that, just for the sake of drawing smut.

but i think the real reason i'm so bothered by this is the alarm bells it set off in my head, seeing both Ignis and Gladio acting in a way that didn't make sense, and understanding immediately the gross, real-life implications of what was being portrayed. that whole comic was just riddled with homophobia, but the author laughed it off at the end. and i know there are lots of others like that, and it's honestly making me afraid to read more.

anyway. i did promise to shut up, but i might not. we'll see. i'm done for now, at least.

[andresmounts2]

Okay sooo Leighton Murray yap session incoming.

Rambling About How Much I Like Her

For starters, I love Leighton. I love her a little bit too much, but she's so silly & I think she deserves her own ramble post.

I really love the growth she went through over the show. She started off as this really nasty rich girl, and now she's a rich girl who knows & understands that she's privileged.

But I also love the little random scenes of her being a good friend & a good person, especially since she at the beginning she acted like she didn't like the girls. For example, her sneaking Kimberly her credit card so Kimberly's mom wouldn't have to pay for dinner. Or the way she did Kimberly's hormone injections, drove her to the procedure, and took care of her for a bit.

I also love that she's not just 2D, and her interests aren't just stereotypical for someone like her. Yes, she likes shopping & rich girl stuff, but she's also into math. (Which I think is cute, especially how she tries to deny it all the time) And her personality still shines through regardless, like making the professor make a big deal out of her being the highest scorer on that test.

Leighton & Alicia

I feel like these two dorks were a cute couple, but I don't know how I feel about them getting back together. Alicia claims to be this big ally of other queer people & she runs the women's center, but she constantly tried to make Leighton come out. Mind you, Leighton has only started exploring WLW relationships in college. She's known that she's liked girls for a while (she admits this when she's in the doctor's office with Kimberly & she says she was scared she was going to come out to her parents after her wisdom teeth removal) but she never "acted" on it until college.

Leighton has always been perceived as a cishet white rich girl. And one of her biggest fears is that coming out was going to other her & being queer was going to be her only personality trait (to others) instead of Alicia comforting her she basically says either come out or break with me.

I completely understand Alicia's concern about being closeted again, but that was no reason for her to treat Leighton like that after she knew she was Leighton's first real relationship. It blows my mind that Kimberly was a better ally to Leighton & she's not even queer. It was Alicia's right to break up with her, but bare minimum, she could've guided Leighton through this & gave her advice. Or she could've explained that being queer didn't have to be her whole personality & Leighton was still a 3D person despite her sexuality. (But I digress)

Leighton & Tatum

I feel like they were a less toxic couple & Leighton's little crush on her was extremely cute. Like the way she specifically went out of her way to play tennis to try to impress her. And I really like how Tatum treated the whole "coming out situation". She reassured Leighton that they could take it slow & validated her feelings. (Which is what Alicia should've done)

I also like that they chose that as an opportunity to show Leighton's growth. She finally stands up for what she thinks is right, and stands by her friends. I think it could've been a good time to have Tatum grow as a person along side Leighton, but they put her back with Alicia so whatever.

Leighton's Flaws

Leighton is like every other character & real person, she has flaws. She has done stupid stuff, but I feel like that doesn't take away from how much she's changed.

Like the first episode, where she berates her old "friends". Obviously, it was her fault they didn't want to room with her, it could've been nice to have her realize that she was the problem in that situation. Or reflect on it later in the season if she ever randomly bumped into them.

They also could've had a moment where she realized money can't fix everything. (Beside the community center thing, because she literally got a girlfriend out of that) Like she gets into trouble, or she tries to help somebody else get out of trouble & they sit her down & tell her that money can't fix everything in the world.

And the way she handled the disease situation sucked. Yes, whoever gave it to her didn't tell her, but she didn't have to do the same to another innocent girl. She definitely should've taken that girl aside, had an open conversation, and still paid for the meds.

[naomilores]

Tyler, The Creator - CHROMAKOPIA (2024)

Tyler in Technicolor

Like many millennials, I've grown up with Tyler, The Creator. I was 17 when "Goblin" came out, and he was this loud, confrontational guy who was mainly here to shock people. His lyrics were smart, but they were also suuuuuuuuuuuper vulgar, and as a newly-rowdy teen escaping a conservative family, I was all about it. I spent a lot of time in 2012 walking around my small-town college campus with "Her" blasting in the headphones, hating my douchebag neighbors & my somehow-required-even-for-humanities geology class.

But then, at some point leading up to 2017, Tyler grew up. Suddenly he's detonating bombs onto the radio with singles like "See You Again" or his iconic "New Magic Wand". This is Tyler in his late 20's and he's mostly done with the shock jock persona and, by his own admission, trying to really get people to take him seriously as a musician. And he really succeeds! Flower Boy gets him nominated for a Grammy, and IGOR wins him his first.

If I had any criticism for Call Me If You Get Lost, it's that the album, for all it's hits, didn't feel cohesive the way IGOR did. But he's back with this release, it may even be his most cohesive work yet. Just for one example, look at the reprise from "St. Chroma" on the closing track. What really sticks out to me on CHROMAKOPIA is that he's talking about the things people my age (EARLY 30's, for the record) are often thinking/worrying about. Specifically, the question of whether or not to have kids. Millennial musicians in general are talking about it a lot in 2024, look at Charli XCX's "I think about it all the time". Tyler takes a few swings at it, on "Hey Jane" and the gorgeously-arranged "Tomorrow".

Often, as young people, we know that our lives are finite, but it's not until we've lived a few decades that we begin to understand the extent to which our days are numbered. We realize we only have so much time to make certain decisions. This is why psychologists like Erik Erikson, who break a lifetime into different developmental stages, identify this time in life as a stage known as intimacy vs isolation. Can we share our lives with someone? Can we go on to share our lives with children, who we must take care of and make sacrifices for? Tyler's really tapped into this struggle, I found it relatable!

The backing tracks really groove throughout, especially on tracks like "Judge Judy" or "I Hope You Find Your Way Home". I'm thrilled to hear Tyler singing entire songs. I think it's criminal it took so long for that to be a key feature on his albums, he's a truly talented vocalist. It really feel like he's found his footing between making deeply personal hip-hop & punchy pop hits. Tyler makes great choices on features for this album, especially Daniel Ceasar who shines on "St. Chroma", and Doechii who kills on "Balloon". But look at the credits and the production team is a whole sky of stars: Steve Lacy, Donald Glover, WILLOW, Solange and more. Tyler should get a lot of credit not just for the musician he's matured into, but the producer he's become. He makes really deliberate choices with samples, on "Noid" it's an obscure Zambian psych rock song. Whereas on "Darling, I" he grabs the snaps off of Snoop Dogg's "Drop It Like It's Hot". Even the whistling into a full brass band on "Sticky" is a deliberate decision, a reference and a gift to HBCU marching bands, who have wasted no time in covering the song.

Tyler ultimately ascends to something higher in "Like Him", where he confronts his ambivalence around fatherhood. He grew up never knowing his father, and it gave him a lot of grief that he expressed in his music from the beginning. how he still sees himself in that idea. Add this all to his mom's voice featuring all over the album, he's really centering his thoughts about family in our modern times.

So what's the final takeaway on CHROMAKOPIA? Life is uncertain, and stressful, but we have to try and be present for as much of it as we can. We need to feel the whole spectrum of human emotion, the pain with the joy, because otherwise a life is missing many colors.

[diesoonandsuffer]

I FINISHED TNG!

please clap.

i never actually did an update on my thoughts post since season 3, so i figured before i watched the movies i'll do a summary of my thoughts on the show.

first off it apparently took me over a year to finish it since i started in july of 2022, and it's now august of 2023. this isn't because i didn't like it or anything, i just kept doing other stuff and unlike with tos, i wasn't watching it WITH someone, so i wasn't on a schedule of any kind. however i did enjoy the show, i grew to like the characters quite a lot and i was invested in their stories. it was definitely a different vibe to tos, while tos is quite episodic, campy, and a bit dated, tng is less campy, a bit less episodic, and slightly less dated lol. it did kind of annoy me that we would start to get these longer arcing plots and then they would be abandoned or forgotten. for example at the beginning of the show it seemed like riker and troi were going to have a lot more "drama" in the show but nothing really happened with them, and then at the very end of the show they put her with worf and don't really explore that fully. i don't just mean romantic pairings but that's an example of what i mean. there was also just a general quality difference in episodes, maybe it was more noticeable here than in tos since tng was longer, but towards the end of the show in particular we got really good episodes followed by quite shit ones. by the time the show ended i didn't really feel like it was ready to end, if that makes sense. i feel like it was always toeing the line between being episodic and being a show with long plots. in general -- was fun. i had a good time. i've forgotten a lot from the beginning but oh well.

here i'll give my thoughts on the characters since that's what i used to do. in no particular order:

picard: i really don't have many strong opinions about him, some episodes he definitely was more entertaining than others. i think i would have liked to see him fail more often because generally he seems too capable at times. i do enjoy the rare moments where he loosens up. despite the longer screentime he had i weirdly feel like he has less depth than kirk? let me know if this is a crazy take but i don't feel like picard is a particularly complicated man, he doesn't seem like he has a lot of inner turmoil or conflict about things, meanwhile kirk is going through it at all times. not to constantly compare the two but. well, i just did

troi: the most beautiful woman in the world i'm such a whore when i look at her. when she got a real uniform i whooped and hollered and when she become a COMMANDER bitch?!?!?! i really do wish they did more with her character she had sooooooo much potential with being half-betazed and they never really give it the exploration it deserves, they use it when its convenient and forget when it isn't. i feel like if we had gotten one more season she could have really shined but they were like i know let's spend the last couple of episodes we have with her making her date worf i guess. also why did they give her mom so much trauma. that wasn't nice.

worf: i grew to like him more and more as the show went on, like whenever i would realize the episode i was watching was going to be a worf-focused episode i would get excited. he's one of those unintentionally funny characters which makes him entertaining, but i also find it interesting seeing the way he balances his klingon heritage with his role as a starfleet officer. i love how much he loves being a klingon, and how he always wants to teach other people about it and let them, in turn, learn more about him. he cares deeply and he tries hard even if he doesn't get it right. i know he's in ds9 so i'm happy to see more of him when i finally get to that

riker: we didn't get enough of him tbh. it felt like there would be multiple season gaps between his solo episodes. like for someone who is the first officer he didn't feel very relevant to the show, they stopped caring about his character after a while. he would have maybe a small arc in certain episodes but he was mostly there because he had to be? maybe the sporadic way i watched is effecting my memory on this. but i really like him, i think he's funny and i like his rogue tendencies.

geordi: we also didn't get enough of geordi. i love him but i feel like i barely know anything about him. but i love how genuinely kind and caring he is, and he's also in the scotty position of "the ship would fall apart without him" i feel like every episode picard would be like geordi fix this! help! also i wish he would have kissed the android.

data: hey it's the android. i love this dude. however i am getting a little overexposed to the dude and i know the movies are only going to continue that. idk why by s6-7 they were like "we're out of ideas for data. what if he liked killing and hurt his crewmates and was maybe evil" which is so lazy. like it would all somehow get resolved by the end and everyone would just move on like data wasn't a genocide machine two minutes ago. the finale reminded me of the way data used to be, where he would constantly ask people questions and say obvious things, and i realized i really missed that. he has dreams and shit now he's not really as compelling. he's been a human to me from day 1 so they didn't need to do all that. however brent spiner continues to be very funny.

beverly: um she certainly was there. don't get me wrong i like her but i feel like i never had any strong attachment to her. she didn't get many solo episodes and the last one i can remember (with the fucking. ghost?) was not good. yeah i can't really think of anything else to say. she's fine.

wesley: ok i know he like left the show after a certain point but i would be remiss to mention again that his arc did not end in a good way and he should get to take a NAP why does he have to keep being SO SPECIAL. also why does anyone ever hate this kid he was like 12 he literally was so non offensive to the show. but i did really like every time he came back after wil wheaton left i feel like wesley brings a new perspective to the show that is needed.

honorable mention ro laren: she's my icon right now so i feel like i have to mention her. i would have loved to see more of her in the show, i found her character really compelling and complex. i liked how she was always a bit of a bitch. i'm on the fence of how i feel about her arc ending, i feel like the episode with geordi and the one where she was turned into a kid both were made to help her feel more like the enterprise could be a home for her. they didn't give me much reason to believe otherwise? i don't care about her leaving, i liked that both her and wesley left starfleet even if the show didn't have the time or capacity to explore it, but i didn't fully believe her reasoning. but i loved every time she was there.

i have probably forgotten. many things. i was in the sun all day and maybe have heat exhaustion. but i'm starting generations in like 10 minutes and i realized i needed to make this post before i watched it. thank you for coming along on this year-long journey of me watching tng. we did it boys

[casasupernovas]

hey i welcome looking at roses flaws i love seeing a character from all 360 of them but i guess from pov when i see a character i understand why they act they way they are yes rose is selfish and can be jealous but i also look how her mom and mickey treated her in episode 1 how her character is stifled in her life. Rose lost her father as a child which lot of people like that get abandonment issues why she is afraid she will be forgotten by the doctor..yes rose can be selfish more so in s2 but she's also more confident i have media literacy i guess when i look at a character i try and understand why they do the things they do and why they have flaws and where there attributes shine, and i would say i was pretty level headed and fair in my asks.....i was even gonna ask what ur idea how would u think billie would come back and what u like to see

i know why rose is the way she was and i also know this also isn't just for plot. for example, billie was chosen because her image at the time was kind of controversial and would draw attention to the show. it's also why you're not supposed to care about the age gap between her and the doctor or specficially eccleston, because she married a 37 year old aged 18. the gp was used to that kind of image. she's also an incredibly easy character to ease the new public into the show for new timers. we get the character work later.

she was also brought back in s4 exclusively for ratings and not necessarily for plot, in fact billie almost missed it altogether because she was on her honeymoon. rose is also stated multiple times to have have more of an ambigous relationship in s2 rather than a straight up romance which is said multiple times by billie herself, the cast and the writers. it doesn't really matter if it seemed obvious to us this was a romance.

long and short of it, is you ask a lot of grace for her and this is never extended to martha which is why i make the tumblr posts i make in the first place. it's not lost on me for a third or fourth time now, you have completely ignored me talking about racism.

i highkey don't want billie to return because her acting has been on an upward swing her whole career and i want to continue to see her doing new projects.

[benchofindigo]

[ID: Gifset from We Are Lady Parts S2

Bisma at the hair dressers getting her cornrow braids done. She has just reached for her headscarf when the hair dresser says, "Are you really going to hide my work like that? Your scalp is literally still raw. How about we just leave it out for a while?" "Tobi," Bisma protests. "What?" "Come on. I'm Muslim," Bisma continues. "Yeah, I now, I know. But Bisma, we're black. Our hair is art, it's a powerful part of our identity too," the hair dresser responds.

Bisma is arguing with her husband who is saying, "Is this a crisis of faith?" "No," she responds, "I've never been stronger in my faith. It's not about that." "Ok, so?" "It's... I love my head scarf, it gives me strength in so many ways, different ways, but I am also a black woman and hair is an important part of that," she responds.

Bisma, upset, arguing with her husband saying, "Schoolgirl. Wife. Mother. That was my journey, Wasim. Schoolgirl. Wife. Mother." "You don't sound so happy about that." Wasim says. "No, it's just life, it happened to me, you know? And I'm an adult and I want to make choices as an adult. And people, they put these labels on me. And the way they see me, I don't see myself."

Bisma picking up the remote control and pointing it at her daughter and husband freezing them.

Bisma walking down the street of her house. Everyone around her is frozen. She's singing, "But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good. Oh, Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood."

Saira saying to her bandmates, "Muslims the world over are being murdered, kicked out of their homes, stripped of their citizenship and we're what? Writing songs about self-care? I think we should shine a light on any of these issues. Be the mouthpiece for something real."

Saira pushed by an invisible force against the war scream singing "I won't mention the w- [censored scream]" Her mouth gets censored out as she tries in vain to get the word out.

Ayesha saying to her girlfriend, "I don't subscribe to the whole coming out thing, I'm not going to sit here and make some Shakespearean announcement... .. to invite what? Further persecution and hardship into my personal life? I'm sorry, I'm not an emotional masochist. [...] You know, there's nuances to being gay and Muslim that you're not going to get."

Ayesha talking to Dirty Mahmood saying, "I should do it. I should do it like, I should be the change, you know. Confront our Muslim parents. But I like them. And I like being close to them. People are so obsessed with coming out these days. It's like, "Woo! Look at me! I'm so sick! Like, I'm out!" But like, I think there's a lot to be said for staying in... where it's safe." "What do you want to do?" Dirty Mahmood asks. "Honestly... I want to not do it." "Then don't do it," he says.

Their continued conversation. Ayesha asks, "But what about all the little gay girls? Shouldn't I be an example for them all?" "You should be an example for yourself. The little gay girls... they need someone that does what's right for them, when it's right for them. And don't forget, the little gay girls... they have you already. You're an inspiration as it is," Dirty Mahmood says.

Amina telling Noor in tears, "Billy kissed me, and I don't know, I lingered, for a bit! That's just what happened. It's a one way ticket to the fiery pits of hell, you know. Bring on the factor 50, cos I'm a-get-a-roasting. I feel awful. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Please don't be angry at me." Noor responds, "If you are going to hell, then there really isn't any hope for the rest of us. You're a good person, OK? And I love you." They hug.

Amina on a date with Billy. She asks, "wait, it's exciting being with me? Or it's exciting being seen with me?" "Erm... the second one. The... no. The... the first one. What... what's the difference?" Billy asks. "Shit" Amina thinks in her head.

Amina ranting to her mom after the disastrous date, "He likes being seen with me. Apparently I make him feel dangerous!" "Dangerous? You?" her mom laughs, "that's good, that's really... ok." "Hey, I can be dangerous, Ok?" Amina protests, "The point is, I have been made into a fetish."

Momtaz crying on her grandmother's lap.

Momtaz talking to her sister at the park. Her sister says, "You did this when we were kids too. You become obsessed, your whole existence wraps around one thing [...] What I'm saying is, you give your everything to a thing, let it define you, then when it all blows up in your face, you're like, 'what?' You need to do you, Momtaz. Focus on your wellbeing. You've been running round looking after everyone else. Now it's time to look after yourself." End ID]

[plain text: We Are Lady Parts S2. End]

We Are Lady Parts S2

[minniefights]

Cancer seemed a very distant reality then. But oh well, here we are.

It started out as intense back pains since June 2023 that was diagnosed as Fibromyglia, evolved into another diagnosis Ankylosing Spondylitis, and then again evolving into Osteoporotic Compression Fracture (of the spine). Two recurrences of Pneumonia since, 5 vertebrae fractures and several checkups with different doctors has led us to a diagnosis of Multiple Myeloma (MM) last September 12, 2023.

My mom Minnie is currently admitted at a hospital in Iligan City for almost a week now since September 10. She is currently being managed by 6 doctors (1) our family doctor, (2) Hematologist, (3) Pain Management Doctor, (3) Pulmonologist , (4) Cardiologist and (5) Spine Doctor.

Since her admittance she has improved massively and her Pneumonia is being managed. She will continue to stay at the hospital for a few days until her Pneumonia is cleared. A few weeks after that, she will also undergo a bone marrow biopsy to determine the severity of the cancer and decide on her treatment plan.

I (Aiana) have come home temporarily (I'm now based in Manila) to attend to her needs. The past days have been an experience of grace in place of grace. Truly the light shines in the darkness and the darkness has NOT overcome it. Despite the difficult diagnosis, we continue to hold to the one thing we could be sure about- God loves us and He will take care of us.

We also get by with a little help from our friends (yes, sing that! :D). Our family have been very supportive and loving, making us feel we are never alone. Our friends, and brothers and sisters from CYA and our community (The Light of the World) have made themselves available to serve us in any way. Example, they volunteered to bring us our daily meals in the hospital so that I won't have to think about it. My (Aiana's) community Lingkod and Ligaya have been always checking on us as well from afar. Our needs are covered thanks to the loving and generous people around us! What bold witnesses of love!

Grief of the diagnosis

The grief of the diagnosis is beyond words. The once very healthy, active person that my mom was has become this person who is mostly asleep, not without discomfort. Cancer really can do that to a person, eh? But one thing cancer can never take is her spirit fixed on hope in the Lord and a firm resolve that whether we live or die, our lives are fully for the kingdom of God.

By the looks of it, my mom will really put up a fight with the Big C, knowing she has a bigger C by her side- Christ Jesus. And fight together with her, will we!

(Quite literally also thru her trusty Jesus plushy pillow. ft. Everything Heartwork Prayer Blanket (plugging our little shop shopee.ph/everythingheartwork ;P) and comfort cross our friend Tita Joanna gave her).

This blog and further updates

We've also been made aware in a new way of the many people who really loves my mom and cares for her. Ever since, my 2 titas (Tita Maal and Ate Myla) and my Ligaya Pastoral Leader (Ate Au Santos) have encouraged me to receive donations for my mom. We are very thankful for this!

I also decided to put up this (temporary) blog to update of my mom's developments for all those who are concerned and wish to keep posted of how she's doing.

What now?

We don't know what happens in the next days but with words of a wise friend I say, "Today we will trust the Lord. And tomorrow, and all the tomorrows to come, we will keep on trusting Him."

Please pray for my Mom,

Aiana

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 23: PRETTY BOY

emotions run wild when everyone is drunk and hardly coherent. quackity is always loud, but tonight is a full on assault on the senses (the ears, in particular). bretman simps for corpse too much for your liking. rae is happy for once. there’s a confession of love somewhere in there. sister james makes a very good impostor, but that’s old news, the real question is who gave you a knife? a new persona emerges that leaves the roaches quivering in their boots.

─── corpse husband x reader, a lil bit of everyone x reader (because she’s a queen) ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: a lil over 7k.

author’s note: it’s the way i can’t follow a fucking calendar for me. sorry guys, i swear to god i thought i had one more day before thursday . the idiot award goes to me and i accept it with pride. anyway, i was excited to write this for a while! quackity is in mexico, that’s why he drinks, too. my fic, my rules, he’s too funny not to include. im also working on an extra w dream and mr quack so look forward to that, too! hopefully u like this part ily xx and as always lmk wat u think!!

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The outfit for today was picked with care and consideration. Hot, as always- you had forgotten your roots, your hoodie and sweats lay hidden in the bottom of your drawer never to be worn on stream again. You’ve changed. Clout really does that to people. Some viewers, naturally, find your hotness near insulting: how dare you rub your beauty in their faces, and so unabashedly, too?! If only you had a twinge of self-awareness, perhaps you would tone it down. But you don’t, and whether that’s by choice or not is the mystery the whole internet tries to solve (ARMY has been working diligently, and you admire their effort, though in the end their tireless labor brings no tangible results). 

You went from hot to hotter. In all truth, the fires eating away at California can be blamed on you. You carry this burden in stride, in your platform overpriced shoes some girl scammed you on Depop with, in your fishnets, in your skirt, in your corset, in your rings and necklaces and chains. You woke up today and chose violence. Decided your existence will be a plague to the rest of the populace, and meant it (that, maybe, you took inspiration from a certain faceless Youtuber that so happens to be your boyfriend or whatever). You feel powerful. Like you could step on the world and the world would let you. You decide that it’s the way it should always be. 

The smile on your lips informs of nothing good to your quaint, small audience of 40k. You change the lighting in your room from the soft cherry blossom pink to menacing violet. As fitting for a villain.

Perhaps California’s hellish sun has finally purged you of your bubbly, docile nature (arguably, you had never possessed it to begin with); perhaps it’s the forth mimosa you’re mixing as people slowly trickle into the lobby. Who knows?! Not you, definitely. What do all of those boring dead white European philosophers say? Embrace the unknown? Cheers, you’ll drink to that.

In stark contrast to your appearance, your room is a fucking mess. A war-zone of epic anime scale. Everything is scattered, well, everywhere. A perfect representation on what’s going on in your mind, always. You don’t like how people focus on your surroundings-- you’re the main attraction, hello? Are you not enough to sustain them? Must they beg for more?! Totally ungrateful. You shake your head in disappointment, as if a mother scolding her children. 

noooooo! mom pls forgive me i will never ask abt anything ever again T_T

yall looking at the room? lol couldnt be me

feels like im five and my mum just told me i cant eat a pretty rock i found on the pavement:(

You can’t contain your sly grin. Eyes twinkle with a purplish hue, appearing all the more menacing. You tricked them once again, oh how absolutely evil of you. In your blind delight you accidentally spill champagne on your lap.

“-Oop, fuck.” You snort.

why does she sound like goofy 

The scandalous drunk Among Us stream is about to start. You had been eerily silent through the greetings, and those that chose to approach you were met with a cold shoulder and minimal replies. All on purpose, of course. You wish to plant a seed of unease within them, and so far, it’s working. There are questions unanswered, jokes unsaid, Quackity unteased. It breaks your heart, but it must be done. You look into the camera, all vulnerable and devout, as if to say: I’m doing this for you, all for you.

pack it up yandere simulator

idk whats going on but i think im into it?

villain arc villain arc villain aRC VILLAIN ARC

“Hey, guys,” Corpse’s voices rings in your headphones, and not a blink later his astronaut appears in the lobby in a cloud of smoke, “Hi, Y/n.”

More sharp, excited hellos follow after. You merely hum, though give no further reply. As Corpse strays to your side, Charlie steps in in front of him, “BDA access only. You have a permit, bitch?”

“Y/n is being quiet-she’s being quiet, guys!” Quackity helpfully informs, as if the rest failed to notice your cryptic silence, “Don’t be sad Corpse, man, Corpse don’t be-she didn’t say shit to me either.”

“Y/n has decided to not waste her breath on the SDS.” Charlie voices, “And you know what? I actually agree with her for once.”

“SD-what now?” Dream questions.

“The Small Dick Society.” Charlie explains, noting Dream’s whine of protest, “Oh no, don’t give me that shit, weren’t you bitching about not being invited and not belonging to exclusive clubs? Congratulations, you’re finally part of one.”

“Wait!” Quackity interjects, “Am I part of it too?”

“Guess, Sherlock.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Corpse says. You nod to your audience, like he just spoke the God honest truth, and follow in his example. Your tentative sip unexpectedly turns into a greedy gulp, but you’re not complaining. The only slightly coherent thought that rings in your mind is drink tasty.

“Ignore them,” Rae chimes, “Y/n’s probably plotting something and using Charlie as a cover up.”

“I’d never.” The words slip past your lips before you can stop them.

“Well you sure are very quick to deny it.” You can hear her smirking, can hear the proud lilt in her voice, like she caught onto your silly little scheme, like she has you all figured out. Your eyes narrow dangerously. The night behind your window pools dark, with far away city lights glimmering before they, too, seem to dim. 

Your roommate is back on your shitlist. How her name was missed among the rest.

“I’m defending my honor.” You yelp, the playfulness back in your voice along with your sunny smile, “I can’t have my wifey slandering me online. At least do it in private, geez.”

If Rae’s such a good detective, you’ll give her a good chase. Perhaps you’ve been laying it on too thick. Made her too suspicious. She can’t out you yet--not when your plans are so grand, so fun. It would be a waste.

“Why weren’t you saying anything then?” Quackity questions.

“Do I need a reason not wanting to talk to you?” You shoot back. Your friends laugh and he tries to shriek something past their cackle. You lean back into your chair, the tension from Rae’s confrontation finally easing. You wink at the camera and bring a finger to your lips. The roaches swear to secrecy, elated by your wickedness. As appropriate, they spam devil emojis and various renditions of evil hohohos and hehehes. The apple truly does not fall far from the tree. You had raised them well. You raise your glass in solidarity. A few donations fall into your pocket, easily summed up as: make them suffer.

Muting the discord call, you give a single response, “Oh, I intend to.”

i hope this doesn’t awaken something in me

^already too late for me bro

As caught up in wreaking havoc among your viewers as you are, you miss Sykkuno’s entrance, though from what you can tell, Charlie gave a stern warning to back the fuck off to him, too. He’s playing into your plan so beautifully. Truly, you couldn’t do this without him. Back to stalking the chat you go.

Your eyes flicker to the game upon Bretman’s signature drawl and “Hi, daddy.”. You have no time to get offended at Corpse’s sweet “Hi, honey” back, because the next person to join the discord call and the lobby leaves you speechless. You knew, of course, you had been informed of the line-up, but still, you had never expected yourself to be so close to Jomes Chorles himself. You make a weird gesture with your hands, half wave half excited wiggle, as if you’re telling the audience to calm down, when, in fact, it is you that needs calming.

He goes saying his hello’s like doing a public service, name by name, before, lastly, uttering, “Hi, Miss Y/n. Loooove the vids.”

He’s a roach in disguise, who could’ve known?! Your audience is so diverse and unexpected, gosh, you’d shed a tear if the mascara wasn’t so expensive.

“Hi!” You reply with a grin, and it’s genuine this time, a glimmer of your old self, “Hi, I love your videos, too. It’s like, really cool to finally meet you.”

“Oh my God, you too!” Is his enthusiastic reply, “Okay, the energy in the studio today? Love it.”

“Is this all of us?” Quackity asks.

“Sadly.” James says with a note of disappointment.

“HEY!”

“Okay, guys!” Ash chimes, “Let’s do this! Proximity Among Us, round one, go go go!”

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Luck does not shine upon you during the first round- you are stuck as Crew Mate, your life cut short by Bretman who had the audacity to bite your head off. You’re positive Ke$ha wrote her hit single Cannibal about him, and if she didn’t, she definitely had a That’s So Raven moment and predicted it. It’s also insanely suspicious as after you are eliminated he sticks real close to Corpse, feigning innocence (and this is a controversial opinion you do not endorse) better than even you. It wounds your pride, having been picked off so casually, so quickly, and now stuck a ghost you roam the halls of the dying spaceship, lost, confused, heartbroken.

Charlie runs past you, not once even glancing in your direction. “Brother...” You mutter sadly, “Do you not see me here? Do you not feel... the loss of your twin’s heartbeat...?" Damn, these mimosas really are making you emotional. You sniffle and take a sip to calm the storm within you. No rage, just sadness. You are still processing your own tragic demise.

Suddenly, a meeting is called. There’s a horrible red X on your astronaut. You are the only one dead so far, and of course the rest won’t vote out the fucker. How bitterly you sit! With your arms crossed over your chest and your glare sharp enough to cut through glass. Fuck the sad shit, now you’re just angry. At the very least, the second Impostor could’ve given you some company!

“I knew something felt off.” Charlie is first to speak.

“Who the fuck killed Y/n?” Corpse questions, and his voice ignites a whole discussion that lasts much too short. The others skip, having no suspect yet. It’s much too soon to start pointing fingers, but you still feel like they should have at least tried. Pouting, you fix yourself another drink.

“Stop drinking!?” You gasp, exasperated at your chats demands, “I’m dead! What else should I do, the tasks?! Nah, fuck that. I’m done. I’m out. Charlie better employ his fucking detective skills because if the Impostors win, I will literally quit the game--yes I will, no I’m not bullshitting, fucking watch me.”

Thankfully, Bretman was caught venting, and you didn’t have to end the stream prematurely. The second Impostor, your roommate (oh, the betrayal, Rae, how could you?!) was voted out due to Corpse’s suspicion. Victory to the Crew Mates! The game restarts and you find yourself back in the lobby.

“Miss Y/n,” Bretman says, “I am sooo sorry for killing you first, baby. It was just too easy. I couldn’t pass it up.”

Giggling, Quackity chimes, “Sister slaughtered.”

“Oh my God,” James groans, “shut up!”

“Yeah, Y/n.” Charlie speaks, and there’s an accusatory note in his calm voice, “Why the fuck did you allow yourself to be eliminated first? Real noob shit, I expected more of you.”

“HUH?!” You frown, “What’s with the victim blaming?! I literally was doing my task and Bretman snuck up on me. It’s not like I had a weapon to defend myself!”

“You have been avenged,” Corpse states, “and that’s all that matters.”

“Thank you, Corpse!” You say, “At least someone cares.”

“Hey, I helped, too!” Dream pipes up.

“No, you didn’t.” Corpse shoots him down, “I was the only one.”

“You were not--”

“Literally was. Isn’t that right, Sykkuno?”

“Uhhhh-” Sykkuno trails off, “Well, we-we all helped!” You can hear his shy smile, and you just know he’s bobbing his head up and down at this exact moment, “We all helped. Team work!”

“Team work!” The rest echo, save for yourself, Corpse, Charlie, and the two Impostors. Silence speaks more than a thousand words or whatever. You pray to any higher power willing to listen to finally assign you the role of the villain, the one you were born to do. 

Sadly, higher powers must have either shitty customer service or are in need of hearing aids, and you almost scream in frustration when your astronaut appears along with the others, the bold CREW MATE title chipping away at your master plan.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

“Hey, Y/n, hey! Hey, Y/n!” Rae finds you in Cafeteria, where you, metaphorically, are eating your feelings. Not that she needs to know, of course. She sounds chipper, a bit ditsy, and that must mean she’s sufficiently tipsy. You store that information for later, and forget about it as soon as you notice Dream and Sykkuno, like her very own personal bodyguards, trailing after her, “Wanna play a game?!”

“Is this Saw?” You inquire, somewhat lazy. You’d be lying if you said the alcohol wasn’t affecting you, it’s just instead of making you bubbly, it makes you mellow. This was supposed to be fun, you were supposed to terrorize everyone and laugh as they perished by your hand, yet here you are, wallowing in self-pity. The roaches start worrying. The donation jingle chimes.

BEATINGS & SLUTATIONS yns_fishnets donated 5$ mom just wait it out & dont worry youll get your vengeance soon lead them on!!!!

Your fishnets have a point! 

“Saw?--No, no, haa, no it’s a drinking game.” Dream sounds like he has had one too many rounds of this mysterious game, and naturally, you are intrigued.

“Where we drink!” Sykkuno clarifies. Right, well that explains everything! If you had any questions, you surely have none now.

“Okay, so, name a category, and you have to, like, say a word associated with it...Or something along those lines.” You hadn’t even agreed and Rae is explaining the rules already. She knows you too well. It’s both a blessing and a curse, “Can be anything! Okay, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n start!”

“Uhh--” If only your brain computed as fast as she spoke! “Song lyrics! Wait--who drinks?”

“You fail, you drink!” She hurries, “Choke me like you hate me but you love meeeeee. Syk, go, go go!”

“Uhm, ah, I don’t wanna feel like this, uh, fuck?” He laughs--it’s a raspy, embarrassed little sound, “I don’t...wanna look like this? Dream, now you!”

“Wait, we’re singing Corpse’s songs?”

“Any song!” You urge him quickly, “Hurry! Or drink!”

“She say I kill her cat like I'm Luka Magnotta--”

“Hey! That’s cheating! You can’t use my song!” Rae protest.

“That wasn’t in the rules!” He counters.

“Y/n! Time’s running out!” Sykkuno exclaims.

“Oh, uh, will-will the real Slim Shady please stand up!”

NOT EMINEM WHAT THE FUCK

MOOOM WHT THE HELL THIS ISNT 2008 T_T

“Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine--”

“All...All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better, uhh, run better run, faster...-faster than my gun?”

“Uhh, shit--fucking hell.” Dream laughs, and Rae practically screams at him to keep going, “Alright! Okay! I’m singing--uh, you’re so golden, na na na na?”

“I tell you what a woman loves most,” You chime gleefully, “it’s a man who can slap but can also stroke.”

finally, the mother mother representation we’ve all been waiting for

i aint exactly gay but i aint exactly not gay >:)

the bis won

“I steal a few breeeeaaaths from the woooorld for a minute--”

“Mitski?!” You question, eyes bulging, “Baby, who hurt you?”

Even if you can’t see her, you know she’s waving her arms around and shaking her head, “Not the point! Sykkuno!”

“Uh, I-I, uhm, I don’t--”

“Drinnnnk!” You all chorus. 

“It was a good concert,” You say, “Syk, I’ll drink with you.”

“Thank you, Y/n. That’s very kind of you.” He says softly, with a smile lining his lips. You grin.

“Oh, fine. Everyone, bottoms up!” Rae decides, and no one protest. A moment of silence passes, then, “Well, GG, GG, let’s do some tasks?”

Your enthusiastic Ariana Grande-esque “yuh” is cut short by the second meeting of game two being called. The first one to go had been Ash, voted out during a bathroom break as a joke, and you still feel a bit bad about that. Now, you notice Charlie has been eliminated. A sense of righteousness fills you--while you mourn for your brother from another mother and father and family tree, you feel like this is divine punishment for slandering you before the start of this round. Karma. Nothing much is discussed, and the meeting ends shortly with everyone skipping. 

You spend a good ten minutes wandering around with Dream, who’s mission appears to be convincing you to join his Minecraft server, and really, there was no need for him to try so hard. You failed to provide him with a concrete answer only because it would've been to humiliating to admit that you agreed instantly upon hearing the word Minecraft.

That’s when things get fucking weird. Another meeting is called whilst you’re in the middle of fixing lights, and once the board with the members appears you audibly gasp. There had been 8 living, breathing astronauts rushing around the map, and now only 4 remain. You, Corpse, James, and Alex. 

“What the fuck--what the fuck?!” You screech alarmed, noting Dream being among the perished crew, “I was just with Dream fixing the lights, I was just with him, what the fuck--”

“Okay, no one panic.” James says, “Let’s figure this out. Okay? Okay. Who else is close to Electrical?”

“I’m at Nav.” Quackity says.

“I’m at Cafeteria, but Y/n--” Corpse starts, “kinda weird that Dream died when you were with him?”

“I didn’t fucking kill him, I swear to God, Corpse, why are you accusing me?”

“Don’t be so defensive.” He says smoothly, “I’m just pointing out the obvious. We all have a reason to be sus, no? Considering you were right with him.”

“...It is suspicious.” James agrees, and a part of you dies inside. You understand their hesitance to trust you, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating!

“Guys, I didn’t kill him, I swear. He invited me to play Minecraft, I wouldn’t do that to him, not after that!”

Corpse merely hums, and it brings no comfort what’s so ever. The situation is spiraling, and not in your favor. Trying to salvage your chances at freedom, you try again, “Wh-James, James, you called the meeting, right?”

“Yeah, I found Rae’s body near Medical.”

“So I couldn’t have killed her and Dream at the same time!” You latch onto that piece of information, hoping it will save you.

“You could’ve vented.” Corpse points out, “Plus, there’s no telling how old the body is.”

“Killing five fucking people? It’s the work of one person, or else the game would have already ended. As it stands, I am no way sober enough to think all of this out.”

A brief silence hangs in the air; your lungs constrict from tension, from spilling words so hotly. You grasp your glass, as if for emphasis, and take a shy sip. It taste sweet, a bit too sweet for your liking. Must be your nerves. You drink again to wash the taste out of your mouth, which, surprisingly, doesn’t work. You whine a little, stomping your feet like a child about to throw a temper tantrum.

“...I believe her.” Quackity says. You breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Alex, thank youuuuuu!” You gush, batting your lashes as if he could somehow see you and that would somehow portray your innocence, “I knew I liked you for a reason!”

He mutes his mic, his spill of words lost to your ears, but chat helpfully informs that he’s screaming because you don’t hate him. 

y/n out here collecting men like pokemon cards

Now all that’s left is to convince the others. You start with the one you know will work, “Corpse,” You address him in your sweetest voice.

“Y/n,” James warns, “don’t you dare--”

“Baby, I didn’t kill anyone, I’m crew mate, you gotta believe me.”

“She's innocent.” Corpse declare, thoroughly convinced.

“Oh my fucking God, you fucking simp!” James laughs, “She’s obviously manipulating you!”

“No, no, she isn’t. She’s innocent, I agree with Quackity. Now, it’s either you or him.”

“Could be you for all we know!” Alex accuses.

“Guys, time’s running out.” You mutter fretfully, noting the seconds tick by from white to red. 

“I’m voting Alex.” Corpse says.

“What?! Fucking traitor! Fine, I’m voting for you.” Alex hisses.

“Ugh, hate agreeing with Quackity, but I’m also voting Corpse. Sorry, hon, nothing personal.” James says. The VOTED icons pop up beside their characters and you panic, pressing your mouse idly but it’s too late, there wasn’t enough time, and you cry as Corpse is thrown into lava. The chat spams F, and it feels like salt on a fresh wound.

In a second you’re back in Cafeteria, shell-shocked and trembling, and Quackity cusses because the Impostor is still among you. His frustration doesn’t last long as you watch in horror as Jams Chortles, beauty guru supreme, murders the only other crew mate in cold blood and all you can do is gape and let his cheerful laughter fill your ears. The screen bleeds red, informing of Impostor victory, the second one being Ash. Looks like you voted her off for the right reason, but little difference did it make.

“Corpse!” You yell past the cacophony of voices, all in varying forms of excitement or anger, beelining for his in-game figure, “Corpse, I’m so sorry, I panicked, I tried pressing the button but I wasn’t quick enough--”

“It’s alright, baby. Don’t worry about it.” He’s so calming, so gentle, you might burst into tears again. What did you do to deserve him? You wish he was with you so you could smother him in a hug. Alas, all you can do now is say “I kith you, mwah!” and rush to the other side of the lobby, as if to hide from such a bold display of affection, even if it was a joke (it wasn’t).

yall say corpse simps for y/n but the reality is y/n simps for corpse harder

queen stop its embarrassing

bhaddies can simp!! i wouldnt but its her choice <3

More deliberations, commentary, and short breaks. Once everyone has returned, the countdown starts. You’re still reeling from the chaos of emotions, the five stages of grief you experienced in 1 second upon Corpse’s unjust demise, that it takes you a moment, a single heartbeat to realize what you’re seeing on screen.

The letters IMPOSTOR hang above your astronaut, with Dream standing just behind you as your newly appointed partner in crime. And suddenly, all the sadness and the tenderness and sympathy vanish with a curt exhale. You slowly turn your head to the chat, muting the Discord call, your soft chuckle of disbelief turning into a full blown laugh.

it’s happening!!!! 

omg omg omg omg

VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC

You slap your palm over your lips, trying to contain your wicked smile, to tone down your broken giggles, “N-No, I can’t laugh yet,” shaking your head softly, you look into the camera, “they’re all going to die.”

pack it up light yagami

this has awoken something in me.

^ same

The crew mates go their own ways, rushing to do their tasks like the diligent little workers they are. How adorable. Their grim fate is still miles away from them. The shit you’ll pull will be for the history books. Much like your outfit, which you picked keeping in mind your newfound thirst for blood, you had devised your plan of action with care and consideration. You had been mulling it over all day, drawing on paper like the absolute madwoman you are; hell, you even made sticky notes on who to go for first and what to say. Sure, being moderately drunk hinders your memory slightly (an understatement of the century), but you got a feel for what you’re going to do. It’s nothing short of evil.

Dream and you don’t exchange words, you merely nod at him-- which he, of course, can’t see-- but your criminal bond enables telepathic communication. You can hear his thoughts, ones that strangely sound like drink drink, drink drink. And really, who are you to refuse such an enticing offer?! As he fucks off to stalk his victims, or play pretend, you take a sip. The cocktail is still sweet, but this time it’s not the icky sweet you had tasted prior. You glance at your sticky notes, ones the roaches can’t see, and nearly spill your drink for the second time today as you jerk.

“Fuck!” You exclaim, shoving your headphones off and spinning in your chair. You hastily stand up, wobble -- the world is pleasantly funny right about now -- and giggle. Stepping past the mountains of abandoned clothes and pillows and blankets and anime plushies, you maneuver your way to your bedside table and yank it open, nearly taking out the whole drawer with you. In the mess of old diaries and bad drawings, pencils, jewelry, and stickers, you fish out something you should not be wielding in your inebriated state.

It’s a knife.

In midst of teenage angst you had ordered it off of Amazon with your mom’s credit card, all the while whining that it’s not a phase, mom, and it’s what all of my cool kid friends with fried hair have, and don’t you want me to fit in, don’t you want your daughter to be happy?! You think it’s about that time, the time of too much uneven eyeliner and black eye shadow, that she took to calling you little raccoon. Trash rabbit was your personal favorite, but she used it sparingly. When you presented your Macy’s outfit, holding up a fucking butterfly knife, to your dad, asking if it was a look, he glanced up from some boring business magazine all boring business dads read and said, with a bright smile might you add, “It’s a something!”.

Oh, how it gleams in the lilac light. You used to do tricks with it, back in eight grade maybe, and--what the fuck? Why did you parents allow you to buy it in the first place? Well, because you’re the only child, the only one important, of course they got it for you and clapped enthusiastically at your performances, because why wouldn’t they? The whining they’d face otherwise would’ve been harder to endure than a whole dance number to Panic! At The Disco’s greatest hits. Broadway looked so fucking shabby in comparison. Your mom said so, so it must be true.

Stumbling back to your extremely confused viewers, you take your seat, feeling a bit more grounded now that you’re not standing on your platform shoes anymore. Putting on your headphones, you grin at the chat that starts swimming, and not from too much drinking either. You do a quick flick of your wrist, one that thankfully doesn’t end in injury, and the sharp tip of the exposed knife points upwards, glimmering. It’s a rainbow colored one, because one, it’s pretty, and two, you weren’t hardcore enough for the jet-black or straight up military ones the other emo kids had. Cute and dangerous, just like you.

So you just sit there, holding it up, looking somewhat sly as the roaches capture this momentous moment with screen-caps. Someone definitely clipped you trudging past the obstacle course to obtain a weapon of mass destruction. You must be already trending on Twitter, though you can’t exactly log on and confirm your suspicions. You just feel like you might be, like you should be, because your audience wouldn’t let this slide. Thankfully, your friends don’t have time to check social media, or you’d be outed in an instant.

“Y/n?” Your roommates voice booms from your headphones, and you perk up with a stupid realization that you completely forgot about Among Us. Stuck at the start, at the lobby where Dream had left you, you see her astronaut waddling to you, “What are you doing here? Wait--Have you not moved from the beginning?” She can barely finish the sentence without giggling. 

You grin, “I was looking for something.”

Your voice is soft, too calm for your usual frantic spill. You gently set the knife down, hand coming to rest on your mouse, fingers idly, slowly, bouncing on the buttons.

“...What were you looking for?” She’s none the wiser, the numerous drinks consumed tonight numbing her sharp mind. She would have noticed. Your eerie composure would’ve given it away in a heartbeat, or at least hinted at something being objectively wrong. But she sounds curious. Poor girl, hasn’t she heard? Curiosity killed the cat.

“A knife.”

“A knife?!” There’s something about her tone that implies a mental clicking, the puzzle pieces falling together, “You have a knife?!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

You think it would only be appropriate that the random sequence of killing animations renders the backstabbing one. You grin, biting your lower lip with a quiet snicker.

i love women

if evil bad...why seggy?

You take your time leaving her there -- in true serial-killer-to-be fashion, you stick around for a bit longer, admiring your handiwork, or more like the chat singing your praises. You joined today with the intent of making an interesting stream. You have no doubt in your mind that now it will be legendary.

You move down the hallway, and you let your imagination wander: you can almost feel the stuffy air of your helmet, can almost hear your loud footsteps echoing in all this hush, can almost see your reflection in the spotless tile floor. It’s not long before your second victim makes an appearance, running circles in Cafeteria. You hear his voice first before you see him, recognizing Alex by his unhinged screech of “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s goooo!” 

“And what’s got you so excited?” How cool and collected you are, gosh, you barely contain the quiver of excitement that threatens to slip out. 

“Y/n!” He exclaims, rushing to your side like a lost puppy--he’s really making this easy for you, he’s not even trying, “You just missed--Oh my fucking God, you just missed James, he-he called me tall, he called me fucking tall! Let’s go, let’s gooooo!”

“Well, you are tall, aren’t you?” You chime sweetly, almost as sweet as the drink that lingers on the tip of your tongue, “Real 6′3 energy, no?”

“Yes, yes, exactly! You get it, you fucking get it--” Once again, his mic goes mute, and you glance at the chat for help.

hard to transcribe what hes saying but hes taking shots and yelling that he loves you good job mom

hey, queen! girl, you have done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all and doing it flawlessly

mom plz dont kill alex hes too cute hes all uwu rn

Oh, how you’re about to break his poor little heart. If you had any good left in you, you’d spare him. You don’t, and you’re not taking requests at the moment, so all you do is smile at your chat and they know. They just do. Hive-mind shit, you’re all two-faced little fuckers.

You giggle, and it sounds a tad fake, “You’re so weird, Alex,” You start, and he’s back in the call, a sound of confusion echoing in your ears, “but I get it, you know. You’re weird. You’re a weirdo. You don’t fit it, and you don’t want to fit in. I mean, really, has anyone even seen you without your stupid hat?”

“...Do--” He sputters, bellowing a laugh, “Do you have that whole fucking monologue memorized?!”

“Is it because you’re bald?”

“I’m not fucking bald!” His giddiness is quickly replaced by anger.

You hum, pretend to think, lastly barking a “Liar.” before you kill him. His scream is cut off, leaving only deafening silence at it’s wake. Unlike with Rae, you don’t stick around. You didn’t appreciate how little he enjoyed your recital.

You run into James near Navigation, most likely on his way to Cafeteria. He ends his song mid-note, and you breathe a sigh of relief, “Finally! Someone! I’ve been looking all over, where the hell is everyone?” You question, blocking his way, lest he accidentally stumbles onto the crime scene and easily pins it on you. You’re not done yet.

“Honestly? No clue. I’m searching for them myself, like, everyone’s scattered. I hope no one died.”

You smile. You tried not to, but you can’t contain it, “Me, too.” You echo the sentiment, urging him to join you, and he does. Too trusting. Everyone in this game is too fucking trusting. You lead him back to Nav, feigning that you have a task here. As you pretend to move the spaceship, you can’t help but ask, “Hey, James?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

A beat of silence passes, “Oh no, fuck that, I don’t like this at all.” He states, about to spin on his heel and bolt like he should do, but you’re quicker-- killer instincts and all-- and he’s dead before he makes it out the doorway.

“See, after your No More Lies video, I figured you’d only tell the truth.” Yes, this is the part of the anime where the villain monologues, only the hero in this case is an astronaut cut in half, and not exactly alive to listen to you. You hope James’ ghost sticks around, “Case in point, why the fuck did you tell Quackity he’s tall?” You eye the chat, which’s mostly spamming W and comparing you to Ryo from Devilman Crybaby. “Such a shame...” You murmur, pressing the REPORT button.

“What?! How are so many people dead?!” Ash gasps, her kind voice tinted with fear and confusion. Your three kills, like military stars on an uniform of a distinguished officer, are displayed on the board. Dream appears to be slacking, having yet to take a life.

“Someone’s been real fucking busy.” Charlie observes. It’s true, you have been.

“I found James in Nav, but holy shit--” You begin, exasperated, “--what the fuck, guys, how did we miss this shit? Where is everyone?”

“I’m at Electrical.” Corpse voices.

“And I’m with Corpse.” One sentence is all it takes to figure out your next target: Bretman. Revenge for being killed first in the first goddamn round, and for spending so much time with your boyfriend.

Eep!!! Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend!!! The word even makes you forget your thirst for blood, that’s how whipped you are. Sadly, it’s time to return to reality, to this grave situation.

“And what have the two of you been conspiring?” You keep your tone level, but that alone is enough to set everyone off. The unease you had planted within them before the game started is starting to bloom. However, if they suspect you, they don’t speak up, not yet.

“Fishnets, mostly.” Corpse says.

only partly a lie he was mostly talking abt u queen <3

corpse simping for y/n is the sweetest thing ever

the times corpse used y/ns name when talking abt y/n: 1. the times he used baby or my baby: infinite

“I’m wearing them right nyoooow.” Bretman drawls.

You hum, “What a coincidence. I am, too.”

“Wait--For real?” That seems to catch Corpse’s attention, because of course it does, you picked them with him in mind, after all.

“No peeping.” You tsk, obviously referring to his tendency to hop onto your stream unprompted. Whether he actually listens to your demands is beyond you, “Peeping means cheating.”

“For the love of fuck all, can we get back to the three dead bodies, please? Because I’m about to have a second coming of Christ moment and taste my consumed, digested beer for the second time.” Charlie interjects.

“I mean, anyone have any ideas who’d do this?” Dream takes hold of the conversation. Quiet, disappointed nos greet him. They have nothing to go on, no clues, not even a subliminal message. With everyone scattered, there is no way of locating the actual bodies and drawing a long red trail leading back to you. 

You’re too good at lying, and Dream is too good of a publicist. People tend to trust his judgement, which is his main asset (besides his calm demeanor of course). When the Among Us gods chose you as Impostor, they made sure you had every advantage. 

“Who-Who do you think it is, Dream?” Ash questions, “I trust you. I do. Just know that.”

“No fucking clue.”

“Y/n?” She tries again.

“Same. I’m a bit worried, though.”

“Let’s, uhhh, let’s skip?” Sykkuno offers. The consensus is to start voting at six. Your new mission is to make sure you dwindle the numbers down drastically before that can happen. You have no qualms about sacrificing Dream in order to meet your goals, either. Absolutely cold blooded.

Back at Cafeteria, there are words exchanged about Quackity’s body just laying there, forgotten. Blame is shifted: how come we didn’t notice sooner? Where’s Rae? And you mindlessly go along with their mourning, not really paying attention. Dream leaves with Charlie and Sykkuno, Corpse requests you stay with him and you sprout fake apologies. Not his time yet. Us girls need to stick together!, you sing, following after Ashley and getting further and further away from him, going deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of the spaceship.

You find yourself in Security with her, her cute astronaut pressed to the cameras, watching the live feed, “Let’s lurk here, okay? Maybe we’ll see something.” If only she saw who was standing behind her. 

“Who do you think is the Impostor?” You ask, standing in the doorway, “Or, more like, who are the Impostors?”

“Honestly?” She ends her word with a little sigh, “I think it might be Corpse and Bretman. I haven’t seen them at all this game.”

You smile, raising your brows, tilting your heard, and you sound so kind, like a dear old friend about to deliver a tender message, “...Have you seen me?”

“SHIT!”

Too late. In one smooth motion she joins the afterlife. You cut the lights, venting mindlessly till you spot Corpse and Bretman panicking in Weapons. Your existence is still a mystery to them.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck--” Corpse mumbles, “Bretman, don’t you dare fucking kill me right now.”

“I’m not Impostor!”

“Okay, I’ll drink to that.”

They rush out of Weapons, most likely on their way to Electrical, and you trail after them like the Grim Reaper itself, biding your time till you can deliver the killing blow.

“Corpse?!” You call out, mild panic ringing in your voice, “Is that you?”

“Shit, Y/n? Where are you?” He questions. Crew vision is so sad, so small, how can he not see you standing almost right next to him? “Where’s Ash?”

“I dunno,” You say, “when the lights went out I ran. Please don’t kill me.”

“I’d never do that, baby.”

Too easy. They’re all too fucking easy. You bite your lower lip, trying to stop the laugh bubbling in your chest, to stop the lightheaded dizziness that overcomes you with a rush of excitement. 

“Thanks, pretty boy.” You mutter, and it sounds a bit lower than you intended, a bit darker, something sinister lurking underneath cotton candy words. It instantly clicks in Bretman and he makes a noise, something like a whine, and you see him backing away, “I know I can always trust you.” 

Whether Corpse notices the odd shift in tone, he doesn’t show it, “I like it when you call me that.” Is all he says, and you hear the smile in his voice, the appreciation. The trek to Electrical is all but forgotten. You slowly make your way to Bretman, “Where are you? Come here.”

“Just a minute,” You say cheerily, “I just need to kill Bret first.”

“Holy shit.”

“N-” Your victim’s sentence is cut off in a second, and you can’t contain your manic cackle this time, because the screen bleeds red, the words VICTORY splattered on it, depicting yours and Dream’s sneaky astronauts. You’re still laughing as the voices of your fallen friends ring in your ears.

“Y/n, what the fuck, you’re an actual monster.” Dream says, but there’s no actual weight behind his words, each syllable punctured with a laugh.

“I knew the second she asked me about my favorite scary movie that I’d get the chop.” James states.

“Wait, Y/n, did you kill everyone?” Corpse questions.

“She fucking did!” Dream answers for you, “I got Charlie and Sykkuno, and barely at that. What the fuck.”

“I’ve been waiting so fucking long for this.” You admit, giggling, raising you glass, “I toast to you, Dream. My perfect partner in crime.”

“I didn’t really do shit, but cheers.”

Quackity heaves a heavy sigh, “Y/n, Y/n, you don’t actually think I’m weird, right? Right?”

“No, she does.” James chimes.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO YOU, DUDE?!”

More commotion, more noise, and you just sit there, buzzed, snickering, reading the chat as the rest agree to play another round. You thank the people who donated that you had accidentally missed among the, you know, murder, reply to a few questions, bow dramatically to the many praises and invisible flowers you receive for such beautiful assassin work. When you look back at the screen, you throw your head back with a maniacal laugh.

Impostor again, only this time it’s with Charlie. Family bonds are often restored when united under a common goal. You’re so happy. So happy. You weren’t done terrorizing your friends yet.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos​ - @fairywriter-oracle​ - @tsukishimawh0re​ - @ofstarsanddreams​ - @bbecc-a​ - @annshit​ - @leahh19​ - @letsloveimagines​ - @bellomi-clarke​ - @wineandionysus​ - @guiltydols​ - @onephootinfrontoftheother​ - @liamakorn​ - @thirstyfangirl​ - @lilysdaydreams​ - @pan-ini​ - @mxqicshxp​ - @tanchosanke​ - @yoshinorecommends​ - @flightsandfantasy​ - @liljennyx3​ - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible​ - @sinister-sleep​ - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat​ - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit​ - @unstableye​ - @simonsbluee​ - @shinyshimaagain​ - @ppopty​ - @siriuslystupid​ - @crapimahuman​ - @ofthedewthesunlight​ - @mythicalamphitrite​ - @artsyally​ - @corpsesimpp​ - @corpsewhitetee​ - @corpse-husbandsimp​ - @hyp-oh-critical​ - @roses-and-grasses​ - @rhyrhy462​ - @sparklylandflaplawyer​ - @charbkgo​ - @airwaveee​ - @creativedogs​ - @kaitlyn2907​ - @loxbbg​ - @afuckingunicornn​ - @fleurmoon​ - @yeolliedokai​

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[makeste]

Hawks: Endeavor-san saved me! / Me: He arrested your jerk parent which led to your homelessness, dashing any hopes your mom who you labeled as a safe parent simply by being slightly less bad bc plushie actually being nice to you now that "that man" was gone and doing the right thing when she repeats his words back at you and which then led to you getting taken in by the government and nearly burnt to death by Endeavor's son, but sure let's call it that.

I don’t think anyone is labeling Endeavor as Hawks’s knight in shining armor here, but yes the fact of the matter is that he did have a profound impact on his life, even if most of that impact was indirect. he was a symbol of hope and comfort and inspiration for him, even if the actual man turned out to be quite different from the image that Baby Hawks built up in his mind. I don’t know why it’s such a taboo to acknowledge that even bad people can still sometimes do things that have a positive impact on others. the world is nuanced like that.

on the other hand, I do agree that one of the most compelling things about Hawks’s story is the fact that he really ends up having to be his own hero for the majority of it. there is no one else there for him, no one to take care of him or come to his rescue. so in the end, he’s the one who ends up having to save himself. but because he’s only a child, and he’s lonely and afraid, he sort of invents this guardian angel figure to give him courage, even though he thinks he’s only make-believe at first. the person might be make-believe, but the feeling of comfort that Keigo gets from him is still very real. and so he can be a little bit braver because he has his friendly hero plushie by his side. he can keep going a little bit longer because he has that small source of reassurance, even though it’s hardly anything at all. it’s the littlest thing, but when you have nothing, even small things can sometimes make all the difference in the world.

but in the end, all of that courage and resilience is really coming from within Hawks himself, which is what I find so extraordinary about him. somehow he still has the capacity for empathy and humor and compassion all without having ever experienced any of those things while growing up. all of it is completely internal. he has some well of strength within him that he was able to draw from even as a little child who had never been shown any kind of love himself. he still cares about others and wants to help people. and there was never any external guidance for him, or any kind of example for him to follow. it was all him. and that is just incredible to me.

anyway. basically there’s just so much good in him and I can’t get over it. I completely lost my original train of thought for this ask lol. basically, Hawks. you are worthy, buddy. you are worthy as fuck. and while I think he deserves all the credit in the world (which he’d never give himself), if he himself feels like he wants to give some of that to Endeavor, whether it’s for arresting his father, or simply for being a shoddy enough hero that he was in the discount bin, and thus wound up being the imaginary father figure that a very young child projected all of his trust and admiration onto because he had nowhere else to turn -- well then, that is absolutely no one else’s business but Hawks’s. end of story.

[secretbangtnn]

summary : Getting a letter from a very prestigious school was something that you could have never expect, and even more unexpected was that you didn’t need to pay a penny for it. Beautiful news that were too good to be true, but oh how stupid you were to not question such a perfect chance to get away from your shitty life.

notes:

Guys i would be more than happy for some feedback, its my first time writing in english and im more than nervous. Im not sure if what i wrote is good or even understandable. + i would be more than happy to start an ask game with this book

Chapter one

Living or in your case existing was always somehow calm. Everything you do had a plan and everyday had the same pattern, like a boring vase that stood in the same kitchen you actually were. Blue marble tiles awfully similar to tears that run down the woman's cheeks, making them a little bit more redder than before.

Not that they weren't that color before, always blushy and ready to be seen. And maybe that's why you had that sour taste in your mouth while watching them, knowing that your own were as beautifully red as hers.

"why?" a simple question sounding now like the last call for help. Voice groggy and nose runny making the sight before even more unbearable to look at. But why weren't you moved, why the tears didn't make you guality like they should. "you planned this?! You planned to leave me alone like a selfish bastard!"

Looking down didn't seem like the best option, knowing that it could just take the nerves in the room to a whole new level but you could not stop yourself. She was always one to guilt trip you into everything.

A little shout left the chapped mouth making you jump a little while lifting your head simultaneously. Sight before you seems to worsen and as you took a step back the woman took another two in the end catching your small wrist in her clawed hand.

Hissing and looking dead in her eyes made you somehow more conscious of the whole situation.

“I didn’t know.” and you really did not. Gritting your teeth so hard that it felt like some of them could fall out at any moment seems to stop you from doing sudden movements.

Breathe in and breathe out.

“Of course you think I am stupid! Just like your father, bringing me to insanity step by step. But that’s what you wanted from the beginning, am I right?”

“Stop being delusional mom” Oh how hard it was to say the name of that woman. Mother of child that she forgets most of the time, only to remember at the most shitty time. Today was exactly one of the examples of why your dream was just to wake up not seeing or better not having to think of that woman.

“Am i now? It’s you who wants me like this.” She laughed, throwing her head back in the motion. Elegant column of her neck now easy to see, showing purple and red marks similar to those from claws. “You thought I would not know, you thought you could just run away like a scared little child. Now tell me, how long were you planning this o-or maybe it was your father’s plan from the beginning.”

“I didn’t know about it, I didn’t even apply to any of the schools and you are the one that should know that.” toxicity leaked from your voice in big streams, but it was something that u could not stop at that moment. She was doing it again, acting crazy and psycho making everyone question why she wasnt getting hospital help yet.

“So you are saying that it’s my fault? You were supposed to care for me, for your ill mother, not that you are useful for anything else. How could you even think of disappearing, going to school so far away and leaving me to rot here myself like you were not meant to end like this too!”

Snatching your hand you looked at the woman once again, tears in eyes making you look fragile. Her own body looking weak, nearly dead limbs hanging from a malnourished body, showing the world wrack of a woman she was. Complexion ill looking, but what was not in her case, pale looking with green, purple and blue spots everywhere the skin was shown.

“Why are you being so shocked? Don’t tell me you thought you were going to leave someday.” Her laugh made you grit your teeth, jaw starting to hurt from the tension you were keeping. “Once again you showed how foolish you are, just like your father, just like that scumbag.”

“You are insane.”

“That we already know, so why don’t you come back to your room and start preparing for tomorrow. I want to eat a really nice breakfast next morning and maybe then after we can talk about what job you are going to have to make a living for us.”

And that was your sign to go, not looking back at the sick smirk on your mother mouth momocking your whole being. Step by step you saw the old stairs, in some place missing the color. Your room was nothing special, at least that what people said, for you it was some type of heaven. Peace that you could only catch while being there, laying on your old bed while looking at the dull ceiling.

Closing the door, you exchaled a heavy breath, sliding down on the flat surface of the door. Eyes closed like you have always done after an intense situation, today was not an exception to that.

Asking yourself what just happened, how and why. Unconsciously you looked at the letter beside you, laying so weirdly on the piece of not carpeted floor. The big fault in a little piece of paper. It was funny how this thing made such a bad influence on your life just by arriving on your doorstep.

The fact that the only person you could compare yourself to now is a story character of the name Harry was nearly not as funny as it sounded. However how u can explain getting a letter from a prestigious school you for sure did not apply or even looked up not even thinking about getting a scholarship to having a chance to think about it.

By any chance you were not stupid, but your ambitions flew away with another day in this shit hole you called home. Main reason being your own mother, which not only made it clear but for sure would kill you faster than let you leave.

You took the letter, keeping it in your hand like some unknown object you have never seen before. The texture itself is weird, making you shiver in some way. Big letter stood on the black piece of paper meaning only one thing.

Oh yes, that definitely was unsetting.

You remember clearly the first time you read the words that were put in this blank envelope. Big chance waiting for you, welcoming you with big arms and assuring you that you have nothing to be scared of.

And maybe those words were the one that brought you to that situation. It was not even three hours after the fight with your mother. Sun long down now moon shining on your pale face. Packing everything you tried to be quiet and quick hoping that your mother again ate too much of those big pills.

Big bag now laying down on your bed with a small letter beside it looking as innocent as before. You were not even seventeen making decisions that would cost you more then you can imagine. Living hell with possibility of going to another but in that moment nothing mattered like running away from old monsters.

Floor cracked under your feet even thought you were considered as a lightweight. How could you not be so malnourished when your mother forced you to teach yourself how to cook, never letting you eat before her. You tried to reason her moods or harsh behaviour to you but no matter how many times you tried it always ended in another reason why your life was just simply sad.

Running away was a good decision. You tried to say it so many times to actually believe in those empty words. The truth was that you were an innocent little child, not even a full adult that has never tasted a social life or had a friend.

“It will be alright.” Taste on your tongue after saying this a little sour with a heavy backpack danglin on your right arm. One step and then another, you touched the cold handle of your white doors. It was the first move to make and probably one of the hardest.

Bag on your arm is even more heavy making you realise what is happening. Silent breath flowed past your lips preparing you for your next step.

You pushed it closing it carefully while hoping that the oldish touch to the wood wont make an appearance in a loud noise. Silly smile now seen on your face with big relief in the back of your mind. The hardest part was just before you.

Your mothers room, not fully closed - like always, she needed to make sure nobody would come uninvited. It was just one of her weird characteristics that came with such a messed up mental health.

Small noise came out under your feet, not loud enough to wake up the woman next door but audible enough to be heard from closer.

Photos all around you telling you that you were getting near the main door. Little pictures with you inside faded from ears of hanging, making you stop for a while.

Smooth glass now under your fingers as you touch a specific photo. You and your mother being in the green garden of your grandmas. Happy vibe and pretty smiles now nearly unbelievable to witness on either of faces. It hurted or maybe it was just the adrenaline escaping from a sudden stop.

Oh how the sweet monet was quickly destroyed by the harsh noise from one of the rooms, and you exactly know which one. Loud thud rang out in the quietness of the house, making the silence even more noticable. Your breath escaped leaving you in a big ball of nerves and anxiety.

One...two...three

Silence like the one before big storms but maybe just this time it was not that. You couldn't withdraw now, you were too far and too close to the feeling of freeness. So you did the only thing that came to your mind.

Catching a sliding backpack, you turned to the door in front of you, knowing that just behind them is waiting something so much bigger than your old mother. How stupid for you to not rethink your decision, and believing your innocent mind that its just a good thing, better life that could only make you happier.

So you did it, you took the heavy steps that echoed in the narrow corridor. Light breeze touched your face, and just like the first time you gasped at the feeling. Door closing not that gently as you started running as fast as you could.

Silly smile now on your face with a bouncing bag on your shoulders keeping you on the hard ground. It was feeling similar to the first sight of the ocean or the first taste of sweet ice cream on a hot summery morning. You were in ecstasy choked by the overwhelming emotions.

And maybe because of that you were completely unaware of the danger that waited for you on that chilly night. How could you think about it when everything seemed so distracting almost as you were dreaming and in that moment you probably were closer to believing in this being a slumber.

So as you sat on the cold bench of one of the parks near your home, realization finally came silencing your beating heart. Colder weather now felt more real, as it bit your rosy cheeks. You shivered, keeping your backpack on your lap, trying to hide behind it from a chilly wind that seemed like it came from every side.

Being alone hit you like a truck and the little noises of the night didn't help your rising nerver. You started to lose your breath, feeling your tears sliding down your numb cheeks. It was terrifying now with the knowledge of your wellbeing and adrenaline wearing off with every second.

“Mom?” A silent plea that came out of your lips with shakiness that was more than noticeable. You didn't know why you said that, but the woman was probably the only person you knew. Such a sad truth that you needed to understand. You were alone now, and with that thought a more shameless sobs left your mouth with an occasional whimper.

You were sure you were going to end up dead. That you won't see the new sunset with how your body shivered. Not knowing how life worked or what is bad or good you were a little lamb that waited for hungry wolves to eat her whole.

And maybe one of those predators just saw his next meal. Long strides brought him just in front of you. Your sobs are too loud to make you hear his boots coming closer and closer. His breath just centimeters away from your head, brushing your hair like the not forgotten wind.

“Sweetheart?” It was a calming voice, not too deep but definitely belonging to a grown man. Your posture momentaly stiffened, as your closed eyes now looked at the big leather shoes before you. Your whole body is not moving, only shivering because of the chilly weather and light clothes. It was funny how suddenly you have forgotten about being alone, now wanting just this, wishing for all of this to be a big nightmare.

A deep sight left man's lips reminding you about the realness of the whole situation. You could not move, completely scared, your fingers clutched the bad praying for something to happen. The plan to just act like you were not there, ignoring the man fastly ended, when he sighted once again and crouched just to your eye level.

Deep brown eyes, looking at you with nothing but softness. If you didn’t know better you would say the man looked as if he knew you, cared and was in big relief finding you. But your mother's words echoed in your head, making you believe that every man walking on this planet is bad.

“What are you doing here sweetheart?” Once more this deep voice pierced you. Your mouth opens to answer, deeply knowing that nothing will come out. You just looked in his dark eyes, wishing that maybe he will be the one who can read minds. His eyes now on you, more concerned than before, observing your shivering body.

He was tall and broad for sure, towering over your figure surprisingly even while crouching down. His huge shoulders covered by a creamy coat which now was getting dirty by laying down on a pavement, as it partly hid his expensive looking boots.

Too distracted you didn't notice his hand coming to touch your red cheek, now gently stroking the redness of your skin.

“What a poor soul, so cold and left alone without a coat. Tell me sweetheart would you come and let me warm you a little?”

[beccanoodles]

Spike and Faye Pairing Analysis

March 2021

Ah the hit or miss pairing of the century! If you don’t love it, you probably hate it lol. I’m a very analytical person so I love analyzing works of art and overall enjoy deep discussions about them too. I have SO much to say when it comes to Cowboy Bebop (and oh I plan to), but I have decided to start with my very own OTP. Here, I am not really going to discuss Spike and Faye’s feelings for each other, but rather why I think people are drawn to this pairing and why I think they're totally valid. Get ready for a long read!😁

⚠️SPOILER WARNING!!! [Major Cowboy Bebop and the movie Out of the Past spoilers]⚠️

First off, let’s clear something up. I am confident most of us can agree that Spike was in love with Julia. Some people assume Spike and Faye fans are deranged and disregard Spike and Julia’s romantic relationship to try and make something of Spike and Faye that never was. While some people may have their various theories and opinions on this, generally, I don’t think anyone denies Spike’s love for Julia. As we will see, this pairing is not really driven by who loves who...let’s first look on the surface.

I don’t know your experiences with the series, but in mine, every time I show this to people it never fails for someone to say something along the lines of,

“Wait, they don’t end up together?”

“Why didn’t he kiss her!?”

“He should have stayed with her...”

and so fourth. 

Naturally, this pairing catches many eyes. 

Think about it, you are given two really cool, really hot and really deep characters that are really fun to see together! There are so many parallels between the two and they are arguably the strongest characters of the bunch. Granted, you can agree with this and still not ship them, but these aspects are part of what opens up the door for many fans of the pairing.

However, there is certainly more to this pairing than them simply looking good together right? As the years pass and I’ve now seen the show multiple times, my understanding of it has evolved in many areas, Spike and Faye included. 

Spike and Faye really couldn’t have ended up together. Sure, it’s a nice thought, but It would have been an entirely different show if they had. I don’t feel that the show should have happened any other way and I don’t think many other fans would either. 

So, what am I saying here?

What’s the point of this paring if I don’t think they should have ended up together? 

It is what's so frustrating about them, yet keeps you coming back and what honestly validates this pairing in my opinion. Spike and Faye are not driven by what is, but rather, what could be.  

I personally feel the themes of classic film Noir are not discussed enough when it comes to Cowboy Bebop! This is one of the show's major influences, especially when it comes to the plot and characters.

One of the common tropes of a film noir is that of a protagonist who is drawn back into his past and ultimate doom, usually by the “seduction” of a femme fatale. In these movies, the women are either a femme fatale [devious, dangerous, mysterious, greedy, troubled, or unreliable] or a woman of virtue [reliable, dutiful, trustworthy, conventional and loving]. 

I am going to use the 1947 classic, Out of the Past to make my comparisons from here on out.

In Out of the Past, Jeff is a former detective who gets caught up in a love triangle between a gangster and his girlfriend Kathie, sound familiar? He attempts to run away with her, but is betrayed and runs off to start a new life in a new town. Here, he meets Ann and falls in love with her, but of course, his past catches up to him and he is drawn back into the world of criminals (largely by Kathie’s involvement). This ultimately results in his and Kathie’s deaths and Ann’s heartbreak. 

Even though Kathie is the femme fatale in this movie, I found myself comparing her more to Julia’s role in the show, than to Faye’s and I found that Faye actually fit best in Ann’s role (this is a bit unusual considering Faye is typically seen as the femme fatale of this show).

Does that mean I think Julia was as ill intentioned as Kathie or that Spike fell in love with Faye? Well, not exactly, let’s look at it a bit further.

“The kind of beautiful, dangerous ordinary that you just can’t leave alone...Like an angel from the underworld or a devil from paradise.”

Most of what we get about Julia is from Spike’s point of view. From this, we learn she is at the center of Vicious and Spike’s conflict, but aside from that she is basically depicted as “The Virtuous Woman” of a noir. The colors around her are warm and she is shown caring for Spike. There is an innocence and modestly about her as well.

Yet, when we finally do meet Julia, we get a different image. We know she is tied up with dangerous men, but is she herself a dangerous woman?

She is certainly capable of betrayal. 

Suddenly she is a bad-ass-gun-toting woman in leather and black, surrounded by hues of grey and dark blue. Intentional or not, Julia is a major part of what lures Spike back into the past and ultimately to his death. In this case, Julia is the femme fatale of Spike’s story and thus, their relationship is doomed from the start.

Faye, on the other hand, is portrayed in somewhat of a contrast. When we first meet her, she is the clear cut femme fatale, appearing cunning, strong willed and seductive. However, we soon find that she has quite a bit of kindness and naivety hidden behind her facade. She uses the former tactics as a way of emotional (and probably physical) protection. Gren points this out in his conversation with her. 

Gren, 

“You’re just afraid they’d abandon you so you abandoned them. You distanced yourself from the whole thing.”

As the show progresses, we start to see less of her “femme fatale nature” and something more genuine. Think about it, between Hard Luck Woman and RFB Part 2 we don’t see much of Faye as her typical conniving or unreliable self, aside from changing the course of the Bebop maybe. Sure she takes off, but it isn’t at all for the same reasons she did in Jupiter Jazz or Speak Like a Child, for example. 

I would argue we actually see her more trustworthy and caring than ever. Since I don’t want to spend too much time talking about Faye’s character development (not here at least) I’ll give one example of this. 

When she returns to the Bebop after her encounter with Julia in RFB Part 1, she gives Spike the message, even though the outcome might hurt her (i.e. he leaves and/or dies). While she does first say “It’s gonna cost you,” she doesn’t really mean it because she tells him without hesitation only moments later.

This isn’t to say Faye good, Julia bad. Both women have their layers and even though we know way more about Faye, I don’t get the impression that Julia is selfish and cunning like Kathie was. But I do get the feeling she was enclosed in a world of crime and betrayal the way Kathie was. We really only know the basics of Spike and Julia’s situation. Who knows the details like motive or how long it lasted etc. etc. We can only speculate...

There is a scene towards the end of Out Of The Past, where Kathie tells Jeff to go away with her. This time it is her asking him, just like Julia asks Spike. During this she mentions,

“I never told you I was anything but what I am, you just wanted to imagine I was. That’s why I left you.”

This got me thinking...did Spike imagine Julia as something she wasn’t? Or something he wanted her to be that she just couldn’t be? 

It could explain why we get such contrasted images of her.

There are themes of this “dreamlike” relationship between Jeff and Kathie, similar to Spike and Julia’s “It was all a dream.”

The two of them were going to “live and be free,” probably something neither of them knew how to do and most likely wouldn’t have been able to get away with.

When Jet asks Spike if he can just forget the past, this is his answer.

Spike,

“There was a woman. For the first time in my life I saw a woman that was truly alive. At least that’s what I thought. She was the part of me I had lost, that part that was missing, that I had been longing for.”

I always wondered about this, because Spike is clearly talking about Julia, but right after is when Faye shows up. To me, that spoke volumes...

Faye is a woman who is terribly human and terribly alive.

Going back to Faye and Ann, I find their similarities shine not so much in the “Virtuous Woman,” concept, but rather in Ann’s dedication to Jeff and her optimism for the future. She is also the last person to talk to Jeff before he leaves for the final time, as if he were being presented with one last alternative. Spike spends his last moments with Faye as well, in which she basically begs him not to go and keep him in the present that she has now discovered for herself. She may be stuck, but she is definitely someone that yearns for human connection, love, and life.

The problem is, Spike and Faye are both set in opposite directions. Her’s leads to a future and Spike knows this because he points it out early on (My Funny Valentine). He also knows, his most likely does not. He has already dug himself too deep into this hole, if you will, that there is really no turning back. 

But let’s say none of that was an issue? What could be?

I sat and watched this movie (Out of the Past) with my mom. She didn’t know anything about it and didn’t know why I was watching it. I wanted her genuine reaction. The whole time she was getting mad at Jeff until the very end. I asked her why and she said that she wanted him to be able to live happily with Ann. I explained to her why he had to do what he did. She understood this, but still couldn’t help but be sad at how things turned out for him, when they could have been good.

Even though Kathie and Jeff are the “lovers,” of this movie, you don’t really want them to end up together. Forget that Kathie has a devious nature, regardless, you know where it has to end and you don’t want to see your hero die.

Like Kathie, Julia symbolizes Spike’s inevitable doom and Like Ann, Faye symbolizes his possible future. 

“I’ll be with you till the end”

                           “You’re the one still tied to the past Spike!”

                                                               “Why do you have to go? Where are you going? What are you gonna do, just throw your life away like it was nothing?!”

It’s two sides of a sad coin...

We want Spike to have a future and because we love the characters of the show, it would be really great if he could have it with them, but that is where the tragedy is. It's only an idea we can think about, a possibility presented to us as it was to Jeff and Spike before their deaths.

The bottom line is, when it comes to Spike and Faye you are really only given a taste. You are not given what you expect to see, which is why I say this ship is driven by what could be. As it is with most of the character relationships in the show, no major breakthroughs are made until the very end, when it's too late. Then it just feels like such wasted potential, but sometimes in life, that's how it is. And thus, we have been given a very classic noir here ladies and gentlemen!

So no, I don’t think people miss the mark when they ship Spike and Faye, nor do I find they invalidate the show by any means. I kind of like that Watanabe switched it up and didn’t do the expected, but left us those subtle hints. He didn’t outright give Spike another lover, but he gave us someone that represents what he could have. Kind of does that with the crew as a whole too!

UGH. I love-hate this show and I love this pairing! Thank you for reading my thoughts and I know this may not be the case or reasoning for everyone, but just based on what I have seen around the community and where this show draws inspiration, this is what I have concluded. I didn’t get into Spike and Faye’s feelings for each other because it gets a little more theoretical there, but I would like to do a post on my thoughts on that as well sometime. I also didn’t touch too much on Spike’s reasoning for choosing to face Vicious in the end, just because I know that will only lead into a whole other analysis lol. But you know I have my thoughts on that and certainly plan to share them 😎 Also, I know I basically spoiled it, but Out of the Past is such a great movie!! I think if you’re a fan of this show it's definitely worth a watch! There are so many more parallels to Cowboy Bebop that I didn’t even mention. Anyways, thanks again and talk to you soon!