#my mom has already started | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kissingwookiees · 2 years ago

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oh i see… yeah im not going to make it through the evening without the strong desire to ram my head into a wall repeatedly…

#my mom has already started #im literally just sitting here in silence #entertaining myself completely ignoring her #and she keeps trying to bait me into the arguments #by asking for help with something and then completely derailing that into like what a failure i am as a daughter and person #like OKAY great!!! mhm you’re stressed at work bc it’s renewals season #and your other daughter is engaged and you can’t just be happy for her and leave me out of it #it’s gotta turn into a golden child vs problem child thing #because the ONLY way she knows how to cope with stress #is by arguing with people and yelling and complaining and just making sure #everyone is as unhappy and stressed out as she is

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pearly-sims · 1 month ago

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Happy 5th birthday Sonic Movie! 💙💙💙

#god has it really been that long already #it came out before the lockdown even started? that's wild #I remember going to see this in my town's little theater on valentine's day with my dad #it was also like 9 pm so it was just us and one little kid with his mom #thank you dad for watching the silly kid's movie with me. shoutout to him and that other mom they're some real ones #who needs an s/o when you can go see Sonic #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic movie #sonic movie 1 #sonic 1 #dr eggman #tom wachowski #maddie wachowski #sonic wachowski #dee speaks

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rxttenfish · 1 month ago

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honestly i just sit and think sometimes over like, miravi isn't toxic yuri or anything, they're DEEPLY functional with each other and it's much moreso a cheetah and dog situation where they both get a lot more stable with someone to balance them out.

but the way it looks like is often a lot of arguing and them not being afraid to snipe at each other or call the other out on bullshit. and i keep feeling like everything about the current shipping Moment would suggest that this is toxic — even though this quality, in of itself, is what they like in their relationship and what helps them best. which is a form of relationship that very much works for people! and works well! there's a lot of benefit in having someone you can be upset with and show that upset with without them taking it personally, or in using it as a means to immediately point out and begin working out problems in a constructive manner, problems that would have become a lot worse if allowed to simmer, and the emotional vulnerability needed to do this in a constructive way with someone else! it's actually my preferred form of relationship, because i'm bossy and mean and contrary and i like not being forced to dull my edges and having someone who can dish it as well as they can take it.

it's a bit like arguing for fun, i think. for those who like it and find it really works for them, there's no hard feelings at the end, it's just a way to get everything on the table and debate over a solution. it feels good, giving the high of the exertion but coming back down with emotional reassurance to ensure it's really not any hard feelings. but, for the majority of people, it's so deeply concerning and distressing that they can't even imagine someone like that, that something has to be wrong because they cannot imagine ever doing it constructively, or they cannot ever imagine not taking it personally.

and it's just very odd sometimes, as someone who has a ship like this as a main ship, that people don't understand that kind of dynamic.

#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#miravi.txt #monster prom #just. shrugs!#its how they got to this point of smoothing out each others rough edges and soothing their issues #because they AREN'T afraid to point out each other's flaws #they're combative and determined and aren't going to collapse the first time someone points out their issues #so it becomes a point of convincing the other and laying out their mental processes #which means openly putting their emotions on the table #in a way that is vulnerable but isn't going to freak them out like some other forms of vulnerability would #like aaravi has a lot more issues talking about her mom with norah #than she does telling miri about it because miranda started talking about the way shes expected to behave as a princess #because then she doesnt feel like a bug shoved under a microscope #she feels like an equal jabbing back and being stubborn #theres a lot of recognition in the other here as well #and all of them combined makes them. a lot more deft at navigating what the other needs #without needing to actually literally lay it out. which would be a lot harder for them.#because they already DID communicate that in a different form #just. miranda's built for conquest. aaravi's built for combat. fighting is something they know and respect very well.#and making it into a safer almost playful form that still gives them that rush is a LOT more beneficial than making them give it up #gestures again to my other post likening the mishras to working dog breeds.#the same thing that makes them so good at their job is also the thing that drives them insane when they don't have it.

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hikaruchen · 6 months ago

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You're such an inspiration for the ways

That I will never ever choose to be

Oh, so many ways for me to show you

How your saviour has abandoned you

Fuck your god!

Your lord, and your Christ

He did this!

Took all you had and left you this way

Still you pray, you never stray, never

Taste of the fruit!

Never thought to question why

#OK HEAR ME OUT #I know this song is about MJK’s mom but #S3 alhtred when Uhtred realised Alfred was really dying and there were still so many things that hadn’t said and done #do you see my vision #this song #this fucking song has been one of my favorite songs for years #but it was not until I was singing this song earlier that I realised it had the alhtredest lyrics ever #good job MJK and please come back and make another a perfect circle album I beg of you #BTW the never taste of the fruit part #my headcanon is Uhtred always knew there was something going on between he and Alfred #he KNEW Alfred loved him A LOT #he never called it out because Alfred’s feeling was the most dangerous fire to play with and if he handled poorly everything would crumble #and honestly it already did in 3x02 #but he also knew if he didn’t do something about it this pious mf would never confess even the tiniest amount of it #and now god actually decided to take alfred away from him when they might never see each other again #he just started cursing about the Christian god that made Alf this way and all that could’ve been between them #the last kingdom #alfred x uhtred #uhtred x alfred #tlk alfred #alhtred #uhtred #Spotify #a perfect circle #funny that this song’s title is the name of Alfred’s stepmom lol #music

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ratcandy · 8 months ago

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I NEED TO GET DIAGNOSED! (violent explosion sounds and terrified screaming follows shortly after my proclamation of suffering

#this is in reference to multiple things. honestly. physical and mental #the lump ? who is she #the possibly undiagnosed adhd that my therapist rec'd i get tested for and my mom already has and is also pushing me to get tested for?#don't know her. who is that.#don't even get me STARTED on the OTHER thing my therapist + a separate counselor + mom said I need to get checked for. that. can wait 👍#we don't need to unpack that one. right now. :)#i mean every time it was brought up it was followed by ''but we don't need to get into that if you don't want to'' and you're so right #bestie I don't want to get into that. I came here to get told i have an anxiety disorder and get meds and instead what you hit me with #was thAT!!!!!!#GET ME OUT OF HERE.#clamtalk

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guinevereslancelot · 6 months ago

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applied to a bunch of jobs! 😅🙏

#took me three days bc i really wanted my dad's input on my resume and he took a while to get back to me #but i reallyyyy wanted to have applications in my monday morning and now i do :)#also feeling much better aboutbthe whole thing now that i have stuff to be excited about #still really really sad abt leaving the kids at my current job tho #but i drove by some of the places i applied today and researched them and im really optimistic about some of them #i even heard back from one already which i was not expecting at all #she literally emailed me like half an hour after getting my application and started asking me questions #like a pre interview #so thats nice #we went back and forth a couple of times #its not my top top choice but that place isnt officially hiring and might take forever to back back to me #this place is a smaller home daycare type place and urgently hiring but the pay is super good and a home daycare environment might be nice #and the pay is pretty decent esp compared to what im making now #the top top place is a fancy pants private school that going to be way more thorough abt references and background check #so they'll take longer to get back to me #but i found out after applying that my friend's mom works there 🤯#so she's gonna ask her to put in a good word for me :)#but they're not officially hiring according to their website it just says they encourage people to inquire so i did #so p unlikely i would get that one but you never know #anyway!!!!#finally excited abt things and not just filled with dread and sadness abt leaving the current place and kids #still makes me sad but im not on the verge of tears thinking abt it anymore lol #this has been a shitpost

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mithliya · 1 year ago

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also btw i have not lived in the same home as my father since .. well probably since my parents got divorced? when i got stuck in bahrain during covid times i was living with my mom & sister (& my mom did indeed rent a home in a gated community, my father lives in the village we grew up in bc he kept the house after the divorce). when i finally got my visa, i moved in with my gf in october 2021. last time i lived with my dad was before i moved to the UK for uni which was in.. 2015? i have only visited for a few weeks at most since.

#i recently started my master’s so unfortunately i have to be away from my gf sometimes tho #so im either living alone or w my gf #so like. he’s entirely wrong. my dad has never in his life even lived in a gated community. my mom did for 2 years #and she only lived there when i was an adult and had already moved for uni

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puppppppppy · 2 years ago

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footnotes arent enough I need you to talk to me like im fucking Amelia Bedelia

#this isn’t about anything in particular btw. I just have to add a lot of memos when I’m doing things because some things are done a certain #way and it isn’t explained well in the instructions. like my mom has instructions on her baking recipes right #but when it says stuff like add dry ingredients to wet ingredients it also means you don’t dump it in one go you add it slowly by portion #this is probably why I find videos and demonstrations the most helpful when I learn something. like I almost always ask someone to show me #how they do it because there could be something they do that’s already second nature and wouldn’t really be considered in an explanation yk #I don’t think I’m an exception either. when the rice is done cooking I divide it into 4 quarters to bless it #but there are a million ways to divide rice and it makes me think that one persons way of doing it or not doing it all is just as valid #theres also technically no wrong way to divide rice afaik. this means either all ways of dividing rice is safe or valid until we find some #universally terrible way of dividing rice. until that happens nobody really thinks about specifying HOW you divide the rice #source: I have anxiety starting and doing things for the first time because I got way too many people yell at me NONONO WHAT ARE YOU DOING #THATS WRONG while I’m in the middle of doing the thing. I would rather have people think I’m either very stupid or overly specific #than go thru the panic inducing fear of ‘YOURE DOING THIS WRONG OMG WHY DIDNT YOU ASK AHEAD OF TIME THIS WILL BE FUCKED UP FOREVER’ 🧍#nothing wrong if you don’t give something a second thought because you’re so used to it. but I can and will ask about it and I don’t think I #really should feel bad about it if I don’t know enough to dispute it. idk #the other way around I try to be as specific as possible and word things in a way that people who might not get where I’m coming from will #understand. but the problem with that is my explanations tend to be lengthy and I lose them either way 🗿#Im. trying to work on that using examples and stuff because they seem to work the best #but if I could write everything down on a word doc and beam it into your melon that would save both of us time and embarassment #im rambling the short version is I have adhd #yapping

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anonymusbosch · 8 months ago

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just sent very scary difficult series of messages to my mom to enforce an important boundary in stressful circumstances. please clap.

#weird day started with work not having power bc of a fire down the street and was interrupted midway thru by:#my mom telling me that she had invited my dad to visit me alongside her when she comes to visit against my express wishes #and that she has already got the plane tickets.#and . i do not want to see my dad much less host him for several days. and this was not ambiguous.#so. i . i think i am within my rights to say that actually you can't do that.#even if 'he doesn't have to be around the whole time #can you do even one thing with him #'#the problem isn't that I can't do one thing with him it's that you can't invite him to be here for four days when I told you not to #so . very scarey to scary by far i was scared #kind of. shaking like a chihuahua in a thunderstorm but i did it #aiawhurbqmlqjdjsojqndfbkakakajdbnakaskdnsbbajdkriiwjsbdjjakd.

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equalperson · 2 months ago

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I fucking hate being traumatized because why am I bawling the hardest I've bawled in god-knows-how-long because someone I didn't even like that much berated Me. gasping wailing trembling and snotting over this for several minutes.

#personal #sanism #abuse mention #child abuse mention #I'm still not entirely done crying really. I'm just trying to stop and calm Myself. not doing well at the moment #because someone on the discord server mentioned trump's inauguration and I basically said 'I don't like trump either #but it's still important to keep pushing for change. who's in office doesn't change that' and he just. immediately escalated the situation #accused Me of not caring about oppression. I explained Myself further but he told Me to go fuck Myself and capped it off with #'you already admitted to being a fucking narcissist so why would i want to be around you' (exact quote BTW)#and I just can't stop sobbing. I don't know if I've cried this much since I was 13. I keep having to pause My typing because I start crying #I didn't hate him but I wasn't attached to him either. it's just that I have so much fucking trauma along these lines #so many instances of My mom putting words in My mouth. getting short-tempered with Me over benign remarks that I didn't understand #because I'm autistic. dismissing My opinions. making Me hide My feelings and issues from her #because she's made it clear that she doesn't trust people like Me #it's made Me have so much trouble handling even friendly social interaction. I've only just learned how to do that #I just can't handle having that same mistreatment forced onto Me by anyone else. especially with so little warning or build-up #and what makes Me break down even worse is the fact that I know I'll have to deal with him again #he wasn't even punished while this was happening. despite the server owner and other mod being online. the owner just said 'stressful day'#and the other mod started talking with a regular user about how it was uncalled for once he had already left the conversation #nobody even checked in on Me. even though I stayed online for a good half-an-hour afterwards. I only just logged off a few minutes ago #because the notifications from unrelated conversations started overstimulating Me #regardless. I don't even want to see him again. I don't want to be in the same server as him I don't want to talk to him I don't want to #but it's not a real formal server. it's a 'friend group.' and they've shown before that they prioritize keeping the peace #over actually punishing hostility. just a week or so ago I told them I wasn't comfortable with them using the R-slur #and someone freaked out over My complaint being 'politically correct' and left. he was brought back just a few days later. and before that #he had already derailed a previous discussion I tried to have about the word by sending gifs featuring it and redirecting the conversation #that sucked but at least it wasn't outright triggering. but I just can't stand the thought of having to be around someone #who treated Me so much like how My abuser has. that's the most I've ever had to relive My trauma because of someone else #that's the most anyone has ever mirrored it to Me. I just can't stand it but I know I'll have to be around him #I don't even know if he's gonna apologize. he's made it clear how little he thinks of Me as a human being. PLUS

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hafwen · 2 months ago

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I haven’t even finished my first dose of meds and I’ve talked on the phone 5 times

#surgeons start early #luckily I can’t sleep #so I was already awake at 7:30 am when they first came in #personal #my mom has cancer

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werebutch · 8 months ago

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I’m glad I’m getting $200 out of this house/dog sitting thing cause it is painful seeing my mom’s friend’s kids (who are more like my cousins than my actual cousins) stuff everywhere. Like trophies and huge posters of them in their high school sports teams uniforms. Like omfg, my mom could have had kids to actually be proud of. It must hurt her inside even though she’d never say it. These kids grew up wealthy and with stable parents and I know that’s most of why they turned out so different from me (plus they were not homeschooled lol..), but ugh. I wish I could do something literally anything at all to be proud of 😭

#it’s not any better that my ACTUAL cousins all also excelled in pretty much everything they do #my oldest cousin has already traveled the world she’s in a good school and she’s on track to be a well known wildlife photographer #idk much about the younger ones but they’re still going to good schools studying forestry and shit.#this is the one thing I CANNOT start thinking about or I just spiral 😭 I’m so disappointed #but also their dad makes half a million a year and I don’t even KNOW what their mom makes. so really?…..#idk.

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xoshepard · 3 months ago

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can't say i don't have some doubts about going from 32 years of Straight Chillin mixed with Fuckin Around to being a 6yo's second mom but i am so locked in i dont think it matters

#the cognitive leap from 'well i'll never have kids anyway so i won't have to do any of the self-work i think parents should do'#to 'oh fuck this kid is drawing me in family pictures and blabbing to her teachers that im going to be her mommy soon' has been wild #it's funny bc when i was 6 i would never have said that about any of my mom's bfs #but i realized the key difference is that her other bio parent is fully not in her life #as opposed to my dad who i idolized at that age and assumed i could parent trap one day #hdkshddjhdjd #where i wanted my mom and dad to get back together she just wants to have a second parent at all #so she has already accepted me which is CRAZY #the other day my gf told me i would have to start gauging when a firm no is appropriate #and im like. ISNT THAT STUFF I SHOULD START THINKING ABOUT WHEN SHE IS LIKE. OFFICIALLY MY DAUGHTER.#but on the other hand it would be fucked up if i was in 'nice family friend' mode and Suddenly switched into 'Mom Mode' bc we got married #aaaaaaaaa so much to consider #tirah talks

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meuamo · 1 month ago

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my brother is so stupid sometimes i really feel like taking my anger out on him but i know my mom will come to his aid like he's a injured puppy and not a 26 year old man

#i opened the fridge and this dumb ass left a whole piece of raw meat on a plate. open. in the fridge.#just letting everything get infected.#and i asked hey did you do this? <- already knows theres no one else stupid enough in this house to do that #and he hesitated bc he could feel my anger then said oh i dont know....#so i asked but didnt you just fry meat? i didn't eat neither did mom #and he does this really stupid face that pisses me off to no end just to say oh right :D #so i have to tell him the raw meat can't be put like that in the fridge or everything will get contaminated and hes like #oh i dont know these things!!!! how could i have known!!!!#ARE YOU FUCKING DUMBBBBBBB HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANY OF US LEAVE RAW MEAT LIKE THAT IN THE FRIDGEEEEEEEE #USE YOUR BRAIN FOR TWO SECONDS!!!!!!!!#but i know i cant ever scream at him like that lest my mom hears it and starts screaming at me for it #he always blames whatever illness he has he never takes any responsability for anything and mom just enables him #he always makes a mess and says he didnt know he was supposed to clean it up man cmon you can't be that fucking dumb

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