#my mom gave me $50 for my dog

[logangarfield]

Went overboard with my dog's Christmas presents because this is a completely normal thing we do

[wetpapert0wel]

@ my ex ay yo get ur shit off my calendar lmao

[therealcocoshady]

awwwww i forgot i sent those prompts in!!! lily having a crush is gonna be hilarious i already know😂 cant wait coco!!

-😛😛😛

Author’s Note : Thank you for sending these many prompts ! Lily having a crush was way too cute 🥰. I hope you enjoy it !

Daddy’s girl

Marshall was lounging in the couch when you came home after picking Lily up from school. She was carrying a tiny bouquet of flowers and it immediately brought a smile to his face.

- That’s a nice bouquet, he said. Did you pick these for me ? He asked.

- No Daddy, they’re mine ! She said proudly.

- Our baby received flowers today, you said with a soft chuckle.

- Who gave these to you, bug ? He asked.

- My boyfriend, she said proudly.

- Your what now ? He asked with a scoff.

You neatly choked upon seeing the change of emotion on his face. When Lily told you she had a boyfriend, in the car, you didn’t think much of it - she was five after all - but you knew Marshall would absolutely lose it. You thought it was adorable that your baby was smitten with a boy but, obviously, not everyone shared your opinion.

- My boyfriend, Daddy, Lily shrugged.

- When did you get a boyfriend ?! He asked with a raised eyebrow.

- At recess, she said proudly. Theo came, and he held my hand, and he gave me flowers, and he said he would marry me.

- Well I think our friend Theo is forgetting something important, he pointed out.

- The ring ? You asked.

- Dad’s approval, Marshall said with a glare.

- He needs your approval ? Lily asked with a raised eyebrow.

- Of course he does ! He replied. Evan and Matt asked for my permission before proposing to Hailie and Lainey, you know ?

- Maybe he will ask on Wednesday, you shrugged. Theo and his mom are coming over for a play date.

- You invited him ? He asked with a frown.

- What’s the big deal ? You asked as you crossed your arms. Lily has friends over all the time.

- Girl friends, he pointed out.

- Marshall… they’re five, you giggled.

- This, I will remind Theo about on Wednesday, he mumbled. Before he married my five year old.

- You will do no such thing, because you have a recording session, you said.

- I will do whatever I please because A its my house and B I cancelled the recording session, he shrugged.

- When did you cancel it ? You asked.

- Just now, he shrugged.

- As your collaborator-, you began.

- As the mother of my child, I think you’ll agree it’s important I’m here for milestones like this, he said with a smirk. Lily’s first play date with a boyfriend. Yes ?

- Don’t you dare pull something and scare off that little boy, you warned. I like Theo. He’s cute.

Marshall simply shrugged and switched subject, asking Lily how school went, casually reminding her that she should focus on learning how to count higher than 50 instead of getting a boyfriend. On Wednesday, you welcomed Theo, who came with his mom, into your home. You didn’t know too much about her, but she seemed nice. They even came bearing gifts, flowers for Lily and pastries for you. The play date went great and both kids spent the afternoon in the garden, playing with the dog while you enjoyed coffee on the terrace, getting to know Danielle. They had recently moved to the neighborhood and she shared a bit about her struggles as a single mother. Her move being recent meant that she had no idea Marshall was Lily’s dad and you could see she was a little star struck. However, you did everything you could to put her at ease.

- Thank you again for the pastries, you said.

- I figured you’d enjoy a few sweet treats, she replied.

- I’ll happily blame the sweet tooth on the pregnancy hormones, you said innocently as you cradled your baby bump.

- Oh I didn’t know you were expecting ! Congratulations !

You felt the color drain from your face. You were, indeed, in the early stage of pregnancy but you were definitely showing. Or maybe you just looked like a fat lady who enjoyed pastries a little too much ? You weren’t too sure anymore. You tried to stay calm and composed and took another bite of macaron. You spent the rest of the afternoon feeling self-conscious, and it wasn’t helped by Danielle’s flirting with your husband, who was either completely oblivious or enjoying the whole thing way too much. You had to suffer through two and a half hours of her batting her eyelashes at Marshall and complimenting him on his physique (« I can tell you work out »).

- Lily is the spitting image of you, Marshall, she said. She is absolutely adorable.

- I can’t take the credit, he said with a grin. She looks just like her mom.

- Either way, she is really cute, she commented. Theo is absolutely smitten with her. It looks like we’re going to see a lot of each other.

Up until now, you thought the whole « Lily having a boyfriend » thing was pretty cute but the perspective of having this woman over on a regular basis was making you nauseous. Marshall, on the other hand, seemed to have softened to the idea liking a boy. At the end of the play date, Theo brought up the topic of marrying Lily.

- Mom, can Lily come over next week ? He asked. We want to get married in the backyard !

- Of course, Bunny, Danielle said with a laugh. If Mr and Mrs Mathers agree, that is.

- Before thinking of marrying my daughter, you might want to learn how to tie your shoelaces, Theo, Marshall said with a frown.

Theo made a comment about wanting to learn as soon as possible and you agreed to call Danielle to set up another play date. Lily was happy about her afternoon and gushed over the fact that Theo held her hand while they were petting Winky.

- He did what ? Marshall asked.

- He held my hand, she repeated proudly.

- I didn’t see that ! He said. Babe, did you see that ?

- I didn’t, you shrugged. But that’s cute.

- Held my daughter’s hand ? In front of me ? In my own backyard ? In a house that I paid for ? He grumbled. Someone better teach this boy some manners !

- You’re funny, Daddy, Lily giggled.

- Did he at least ask before he held your hand ? Marshall asked.

- No, but I liked it, she replied.

- You know, baby, it’s important to ask people before you touch them, you said. I’m glad you liked it but Theo should have asked.

- You never ask Daddy before you hold his hand, you pointed out.

- That’s because we’re married, you explained.

- But before, you asked him ? She questioned.

You heard Marshall chortle, probably reminiscing your first kiss. You definitely didn’t ask for his permission. In fact, you went for it and apologized after. You shot him a glare, forbidding him to say anything.

- It’s always important to ask, you simply said. That way, if you’re not comfortable with people touching you, you can say so.

- Ok, she simply shrugged. But when I marry Theo, he won’t need to ask permission anyway.

You chuckled and moved on to another topic, not really wanting to be reminded that you had to set up another play date and deal with Danielle. You went to the kitchen to make dinner when Marshall came to find you.

- So, that was a nice play date, he commented. In spite of the hand holding, I mean…

- I guess, you shrugged.

- Theo’s mom is pretty nice, he continued.

- Glad you think so, you said dryly.

- Are you alright, honey ? He asked.

- I don’t know, you snapped. You make a big deal about a five year old holding Lily’s hand in front of you but you certainly have no issue with flirting with his mom right in front of your wife.

- I… what ? He asked with a puzzled look on his face. I was being nice to her. I wasn’t flirting.

- Right, you chortled.

- I just felt sorry for her, he shrugged. She’s raising her son on her own, that’s not easy…

- So, you have a type, then ? Single moms ? You asked with a raised eyebrow.

- Yes, exactly, he said sarcastically. I was attracted to you because you were a single mom. Not at all because you’re smart and beautiful with the greatest hip-hop culture ever.

- Don’t try to be funny, you said as you rolled your eyes.

- Babe, that’s ridiculous, he sighed. I’m not attracted to Danielle.

- Really ? You don’t like her huge fake tits ?

- I’m pretty sure they’re real, he said before he could catch himself.

You stared at him in disbelief for a second before scoffing and putting the knife down on the cutting board and making your way out of the kitchen.

- Where are you going ? He asked.

- To lie down, you said without looking at him.

- In the middle of making dinner ?

- If you care so much about dinner, make it yourself, Marshall. I’m not hungry anyway.

An hour later, Lily came to find you in your bedroom, asking that you read to her before bed. You happily obliged and, once she was asleep, you went back to your room, where you found your husband waiting for you in bed, with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s and two spoons.

- Brought a peace offering, he said with a smile.

- Thanks, you said sheepishly.

- I’m sorry I made that dumb comment, he said apologetically. But in my defense… you’re the one who commented on her tits first. Which means you stared.

- With the low-cut top she wore, no need for staring, you said. They were pretty much on display.

- So we agree that I didn’t stare at her, then ? He asked with a grin.

- I guess, you shrugged as you sat in bed. I’m sorry. But I hate this woman.

- Why ? He asked.

- Because she was here, in our home, batting her eyelashes at you, right after she made me feel fat, you said. She was here, looking hot while I’m… looking like this.

- So ? He asked. You’re gorgeous.

- I’m fat, you replied.

- You’re pregnant, he chuckled. And you’re the hottest pregnant woman I’ve ever seen.

- Yeah ? You asked. You really think so ?

- Have you seen yourself ? He asked. You’re gorgeous. You’re glowing. I’m so lucky you’re carrying my babies. And your tits are even greater than before. Which is saying something.

- You like them ? You asked with a smile. They’re so tender, lately, though…

- I heard applying something cold might help, he said with a smile, pointing at the ice cream.

You giggled and kissed him, whispering apologies in his ear for your earlier outburst. He kissed you back with passion before gently cupping your breast. His mouth traveled to your neck, to your chest as he helped you undress. He grinned at the sight of your bare chest, gently tracing your skin with his fingers. He opened the ice cream tub and proceeded to apply some of it on your nipples, before making sure to lick it gently. He made you cry in pleasure, from the simple stimulation of your breast, before making love to you, whispering to you just how beautiful you were, worshipping every part of your body.

A few days later, Marshall saw Danielle again when he picked Lily from school. They were waiting for the kids to come out as they made small talk. He was polite, though he picked up on the flirting right away, realizing you were right after all. He made sure to mention you every chance he got. They agreed on a play date for next Wednesday. As soon as Lily walked up to him, he could see she was clearly upset.

- What’s up, bug ? He asked as he hugged her. I saw Theo’s mom earlier. We’re all set for next Wednesday.

At the mention of the play date, so immediately started bawling. He hugged her tight, trying to wipe her tears. Seeing her tear-stained face broke his heart. Every time he saw her cry, it hurt deep in his soul.

- What’s wrong, Lily ? He asked.

- Theo… h-he… he doesn’t love me anymore, she sobbed.

- What do you mean ? I’m sure he does, he said. He held your hand, remember ? That has to mean something…

- He married Emma at recess, she cried.

- Emma… your best friend Emma ? He asked in shock.

Now, he was getting a little too involved in that drama. Lily simply nodded and burst into tears again. She was only five and already having her first heartbreak. It took everything he had in him not to walk to Theo and give him a piece of his mind but, at the same time, he knew he couldn’t be an adult bullying a little child, so he just held Lily while she sobbed.

- I hate boys, she said.

- I know, baby, he said as he rubbed her back. But all boys aren’t like this, you know ?

- They aren’t ? She sniffled.

- I mean… they grow up eventually, he said with a smile.

- When ? She asked.

- When what ?

- When do they become nice ? She questioned.

- Around thirty, thirty-five, he hummed.

He was absolutely telling a white lie but, at the same time, his little girl had no business being interested in boys at such a young age.

- I’ll never get married, she said. Boys suck.

- They do, he chuckled. How about I take you for ice cream ?

- Yes, she said with a smile.

He took her to her favorite ice cream place and they had a daddy-daughter date of their own. He wanted to make sure to show her how she should be treated by a boy. He let her get as many toppings as she wanted and even took her to the toy store so that she could choose a new doll. When they came home to you, she had a smile on her face. She quickly kissed you and went to play in her room.

- You guys are back later than usual, you pointed out.

- We went on a date, Marshall said before kissing you.

- That’s nice, you said. Speaking of date, have you seen Danielle ?

- We’re not doing playdates with Danielle and Theo anymore, he said.

- Oh, that’s too bad, you said even though you failed to hide a smile. What happened ?

- Jesus Christ, you can’t hide what you think, can you ? He chuckled. Theo basically cheated on Lily.

- He WHAT ?! You asked as you started to get worked up.

- He married Emma today at recess, he explained.

- Emma… Lily’s best friend ?! No he didn’t ! You said in a scandalized voice. I can’t believe she did that to Lily !

- Apparently, we’re not blaming her, we’re blaming Theo, he chuckled. Just so you know, Lily hates boys now.

Now he was the one who failed to hide his smile. Of course. Proud Girl dad that he was, he was too happy to remain the number one man in his baby’s life for the time being.

[hotvintagepoll]

This is a three-way poll. Only one of these women will continue to the next round of the bracket.

Propaganda

Deborah Kerr (Bonjour Tristesse, An Affair to Remember, The King and I)— For several decades she held the record for most Oscar nominations without a win (6 in total), and she was a prolific leading lady throughout the 40s and 50s. She's best known today for the romance An Affair to Remember with Cary Grant, and as the governess in The King and I. Many people have this erroneous perception of her as extremely prim, proper, and virginal, but this could not be further from the truth. When she first came to Hollywood under MGM she was typecast into boring decorative roles, but broke sexual boundaries for herself and Hollywood generally in From Here to Eternity, when she made out (horizontally!) with Burt Lancaster (on top of him!) in the famous Beach Scene. She went on to play many sexually conflicted women, a character type that would define most of her post- Eternity work. She continued to break Hays Code boundaries with Tea and Sympathy, which addresses homosexuality/homophobia head-on, and even did a topless scene in The Gypsy Moths 1969!! One of the only classic stars to do so. She deserves a more nuanced and frankly a hotter legacy than she currently has!!!

Keiko Awaji (Stray Dog, A Japanese Tragedy, When a Woman Ascends the Stairs)— Her role as Harumi— a dancer who lives with her mom and will go to incredible lengths for one nice dress— is so fucking killer. she more than holds her own against Toshiro Mifune, the incredible sense of dread and foreboding in their scenes has really stuck with me

Hazel Scott (Broadway Rhythm, Rhapsody in Blue)—ok ok let me tell you about Hazel Scott. She was a Trinidadian piano genius. By the age of 3 she could play the piano by ear. She would play jazzed-up versions of classics in nightclubs and could sing too! She appeared in five movies, and used her influence as a piano prodigy to improve Black representation in film—she turned down offensive parts, demanded equal pay, and always wore her own costumes to ensure she was portrayed as glamorous and beautiful. She was the first African-American woman to host her own television show, The Hazel Scott Show. She stood up for civil rights and was an overall icon! If you want to watch her being a genius, here she is playing two pianos at once. And here's this one that shows off her consummate glamor! [videos beneath the cut]

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Deborah Kerr:

I think she was one of my first crushes before I realised I was bi in The King and I when I watched it as a kid honestly. The kissing scene in From Here to Eternity is iconic for a reason. Actually tried to learn the accents for the characters she was playing if they weren't English which is more than pretty much anyone else was doing then. Played very restrained characters who frequently seemed to be desperate not to be so restrained. Did horror movies without venturing into hagsploitation tropes. Gave Marni Nixon the credit she deserved for her share of the singing in The King and I.

Anne Larsen is a peak late 1950s bisexual with big MILF energy. Have you seen the behind the scenes pics of her wearing a suit?? Have you????? Vote Deb as Anne Larsen.

Nominated for an Oscar six (6) times and never won, but besides her having actual talent (hot), and besides her looking Like That (very hot, also beautiful), she was always playing women who are, like, crazy repressed. Which makes it fun and easy for me to read these characters as queer. Icon!!!! You know what's hot? Playing ambiguously gay in vintage Hollywood.

Her face and talent and body, yes, ofc, duh. But also!!! Her HANDS!!!! I may be but a simple lesbian, but she is the best hactor (hand actor) that ever lived and that's HOT! For propriety's sake I feel I must redact a large portion of my commentary on this subject. Anyway. She's hot in her most famous roles (mentioned above), and also some of her sexiest hacting is on display in An Affair to Remember (her hand on the bannister when Cary Grant kisses her off-screen??? HELLO???), Tea and Sympathy (when she's trying to persuade Tom not to go out and she keeps flexing her hands like she wants to reach out to him but can't??? ALLY BEHAVIOR! WE STAN!), and The Innocents (which opens and closes with extended shots of her hands bc director Jack Clayton was also an ally and he did that for ME). Much of her appeal also lies in the fact that she often played deeply repressed characters and you know what's hot? When those uptight characters finally unravel. It's sexy. It's cathartic. It's erotic. Plus, she's beautiful to look at in both black & white and technicolor, and the more of her films you see, the more you can't help but fall in love!

Literally is in thee most famously sexy scene of all time (or maybe just during the hays code era which is what we're talking about HELLO), which is the beach scene with Burt Lancaster in from here to eternity. To quote a tumblr post of a screen capture of a tweet of a video of joy behar on the view: "y'know, there used to be movies where they were kissing on the beach... From Here to Eternity. They're kissing-- Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr are Kissing on the Beach and then the WAVES crash!! You know exactly what they did!"

She might have a reputation of being chaste and virginal or whatever, but we all know it's the quiet ones who are certifiable FREAKS

Keiko Awaji:

Hazel Scott:

[sunthyme]

Ah... welcome to another instalment of my headcanons. I lowkey lied again but I think my prefect will be the last of the headcanons to come out. Tyty for all the love, as always, and now...

🪶The NRC Staff🪶

Trying to find characters I hadn't already twisted for my student ocs to make my staff ones was such a pain 😭😭😭 but here they are!!

🐦‍⬛Dire Crowley🐦‍⬛

(he/it) - Bisexual

The most USELESS HEADMASTER EVER!!! God, I know his SSR card looks great but I won't pull for it istg this bitch. We could have had Sam or Crewel but nooooo...

- I wanted him to look a bit older but since we don't know his age, I didn't push it too much. No spoilers for book 7 but I assume he's probably fae or smth idk.

- You'll notice I honestly didn't change much about the staff in general but I do like most of their design already. Kept his sclera dark cause it looked cool and made the gold eyes pop.

- He talks in a weird mix of old language that literally no one uses, like hella old-fashioned, and poorly used teen lingo. He's trying... A for effort, ig.

- His house and office are super cluttered with a ton of stuff he's found throughout the years but knows exactly where things are. His memory's actually incredibly good, he's just lazy. He likes to collect teaspoons.

- Later in the story, when he starts kinda view the prefect as his kid of sorts, it starts dropping off little trinkets at Ramshackle. Various things from old photos to books with old annotations to pretty rocks. He just wants the prefect to make the dorm 'more homey'.

- I'll get into this more with my prefect design but when Crowley attended NRC (in my headcanon idk if he actually did), he was a Ramshackle student. As such, my MC is using his old uniform as he didn't have any extra ones.

- He really likes cats but they just fcuking hate him. Lucius hisses everything he see Crowley. This is why he cries himself to sleep.

Enough of my dead-beat dad, onto the good dad!

🐕Divus Crewel🐕

(he/they) Transmasc - Panasexual

The good father-figure!! I love Crewel. Also, ignore me misspelling his name in the big one, I thought it had two 'l's...

- He is my Mexican father. Idk they give like simultaneously abuelita and Mexican mom vibes and I am so here for it. (Apparently also Jewish grandma vibes according to @thearchiveofalexandria but I wouldn't know lol).

- I also think he'd be older, like late 40s/early 50s but because of those anti-ageing Mexican genes, they look like 30. (Literally, my mom gets mistaken for being that young, she's in her 50s) Gave him some gray hair at the back but don't be fooled, that's just from putting up with Crowley's bullshit. The shit that goes down in-game for sure results in a couple grey hairs for poor Crewel.

- Is the father figure I never knew I needed, well, my prefect anyway. I know my MC would go to him for anything ranging from 'Crowley's threatening to cut off my water supply!' to 'Can you help me make a Halloween costume?' and his ass always helps. Stan Papa Crewel.

Oh god, this next one was HELL ON EARTH I hate drawing masculine men...

🏈Ashton Vargas🏈

(he/him) - Heterosexual

God, I hate Vargas' og design. The worst part is it does it's job, I couldn't find much to change. Also, didn't even know he had a first name lmaooo.

- I gave him more of a beard because it looked so fcuking bad without it ong 😭😭😭 I hated this... that's pretty much all I did.

- That being said, I do think Vargas wants the best for his students. Wait. Dad-bod Vargas. Guys, I just had an epiphany.

- He's got a wife, kids in like elementary school, and like two dogs idk. I feel like he's older thirties. He's giving total family man and likes to cheer on his students like they're his kids too.

- I feel like he's got mad ADHD and it's one of the reasons he became a gym teacher, just to be constantly moving and doing stuff.

My opinion of Vargas has increased while writing this. Onto my funky uncle...

🏷️Sam Cecil🏷️

(he/they/it) Genderqueer - Asexual Aromantic

I LOVE SAM!!📢📢

- They're like mid-twenties, I don't know if they went to college but if they did, they were a business major. I gave him a last name too, idk the fact that he didn't have one made me mad. Cecil cause Dr. Facilier had a daughter named Cecilia apparently.

- I tossed in a couple more piercings and I love the idea that he has tattoos too.

- He's like the fun uncle that occasionally sponsor your weird ideas. Wanna make cookies at 3am? His store's still open. Need some Nerf guns? He's got 'em. If he says it's in stock, he will literally have anything. Don't ask, he won't answer you anyway.

- Also has crazy good like and low-key knows the future but typically drops hints in a joking manner. He's also very good at communing with the dead, sales for sessions are discounted in October.

- Incredibly rich. Probably canon given his store branches and the crazy shit he has in his shop but I felt the need to reaffirm it.

- Also supplies Ramshackle with snacks and groceries. My MC works at its shop part time in return but I firmly believe that it'd refuse to let the MC starve.

Now for the gramps,

📚Mozus Trein📚

(he/him) Transmasc - Heterosexual

- Trans old man, idk. He is to me. Also, he's both the history and literature teacher.

- Also changed pretty much nothing lol, he's just an old trans man whose sick of Crowley's bullshit (you'll notice a running theme).

- All the grandpa memes and stereotypes are so true for him. His drinks tea every afternoon, plays chess with Crewel (that's canon btw), and squints whenever you try to show him something, especially on a phone.

- He uses a flip phone mobile-y but his house has a rotary one. His daughters keep telling him to replace it but he refuses, saying modern one are too complicated. His daughters also went to Royal Blade as he originally worked there before recently transferring to NRC.

- Hates pumpkin-flavoured anything so doesn't care much for fall. Winter is his favourite season though as he loves sitting with Lucius by the window on snowy days and reading. Very academiacore, gramps.

- He totally advocated for NRC to allow students to use preferred names.

Onto the ocs!!

🪐Mèng yáo Yuan🪐

(she/they/it) Agender - Biromantic Demisexual

- First up is Mèng yáo, twisted from the Horned King from The Black Cauldron. Never seen it personally but @thearchiveofalexandria has and recommended I use its villain.

- She's Chinese and a fae of sorts so she's likely quite old, though she looks in her twenties.

- She's the astrology and philosophy teacher because I thought it would make for a good course since it's mentioned in passing in Book 4.

- She's also skilled in potionology and she and Crewel test out potions for Crewel to teach in class. She is intrigued by the concept of immortality but it's more of a passive study for her.

- She's really bad at getting jokes, though she tries. She's generally not too familiar with modern human concepts but does her best to learn.

Finally,

💎Kore Gorgon💎

(she/her) - Sapphic

- Kore is based on Madame Medusa from The Rescuers, which, fair warning, I ALSO haven't seen. I really needed villains though lol. I read the wiki page and prayed tbh.

- She's around her mid-fifties and is the Math and Physics teacher. She works to integrate known magical physics with standard math and physics and teaches such.

- Her wife is named Crystal (based on an inspo character for Madame Medusa) and they're Kyra's adoptive parents. This is a small nod to Madame Medusa having two pet crocodiles. Kyra kept her parent's names as a sort of way to remember them but likes her adoptive moms a lot too.

- Kore's name is a reference to another name for Persephone and is associated with not only 'the maiden' with the underworld as well.

- She loves shiny things and adores being dressed to the nines all the time. She has a small collect of pretty rocks and tends to decorate her classroom with various trinkets.

- She and Crewel get along super well as their personalities are rather similar. (Fun fact: Madame Medusa not only was heavily inspired by Cruella De Vil, but also served as an origin for Ursula's design.)

- She has bipolar disorder and does her best to work around it, sometimes having pre-recorded lectures if she's not able to be in person.

I'll be sharing my designs for some side and family characters tomorrow so stay tuned! Love y'all!🩷🩷🩷

[selfpositiveundertale]

Long post.

TW: car accident

Hey everyone. I'm not doing great.

I've already been having a hard time with migraines getting absolutely out of hand and interfering with literally everything in my life, but yesterday I had my first car accident. The meme I just posted is relevant. It was my fault but thankfully only me in the vehicle. Other than bruised knees(I'm short so I had the seat pulled up close so I could reach the pedals) and some mild rug burns where the air bag got me on my left hand and my neck (I had instinctively raised my arms to protect my face), I don't think I was injured in any way my chiropractor couldn't fix. Definitely jarred my entire skeleton and dislocated some ribs and messed up my neck but what else is new. I didn't hit my head and nothing hurts in any way I'm not already deeply familiar with. Surprisingly I haven't gotten a migraine yet but I'm fully expecting one soon.

Really good thing I wasn't wearing my sunglasses. I lost the pendent off my necklace though. It must have broken off when the air bag blew and then fallen into the road when I got out of the vehicle.

My vehicle is totaled. Not a great loss since the thing was on its last legs anyway but it sucks not having my own transportation now, even if I could only drive in town and couldn't leave town because it wouldn't make it far on the interstate. It would start shaking like a leaf any time I went over 50 mph and I didn't like that. I'm really sore and tired and shaken up but I'm getting through it.

My husband came immediately when I called him and he talked to the car insurance company and called his boss to take the rest of the day off work so he could be with me.

The people in the other car were mostly okay other than the man having a cut on his forehead and his wife having a scraped knee but both of their babies were completely unharmed, thank goodness. Nobody was mad at me, possibly because I was hysterical panicking inconsolable and kept apologizing and asking if they were okay. They were also on their way to the car dealership to see about getting a new vehicle anyway, so I think they'll be fine.

I made an appointment with my chiropractor this morning and he checked everything and basically said I was in pretty bad shape but not really any worse than usual, which was a great relief but not surprising. He fixed the ribs, my shoulder blades, neck, and hands and gave me some samples of a supplement he said might help the soreness. I'm also taking my painkillers, OTC pain medicine, and applying arnica cream to the bruises.

I've been so tired and sore and haven't been up to doing much of anything except eating my feelings but I'm making sure my pets get fed and helping my husband get ready for work in the morning. I don't think I'll be able to meal prep anything for him like I normally do and he says it's okay, he's not expecting anything of me if I don't feel up to it and he doesn't mind buying his breakfast and lunch.

I fear the financial repercussions of this, especially since things have already been very tight due to several sudden veterinary expenses. The cat gods looked at us and went "kittens upon you and your household" so in the last 4 weeks there have been 2 vet visits for a tiny baby runt of a kitten my husband found alone and abandoned at his workplace, one for a very pregnant stray kitty that followed a family member home and popped out 7 babies, and one for my dog when she caught a UTI. We think she's over it by now but I'm taking her back to the vet Friday for a recheck. It's been hard with her because she's been refusing to eat her dry food and we've been having to buy wet food as well as chicken breast and white rice and alternating between the wet food and a bland diet when the antibiotics made her tummy upset. I'm really hoping that by Friday I'll be brave enough to drive. The vet isn't far and my mom is going to let me take her old car for whatever I need until we manage to get me another used vehicle.

I know the car insurance is going to go up because of the crash even though now there's one less vehicle on it, and I'm praying to the heavens that I don't have to actually go to a doctor and get checked out because of the crash.

I need to see a doctor anyway about the migraines that are now coming several times a week and affecting me in unsettling ways like impairing my speech, making me nauseous when I use my eyeballs for their intended purpose, and even made me collapse once. But the clinic I usually go to because the price is income based is in the next town and I'd definitely have to have my husband take time off work to take me. I also fear they'll refer me to a neurologist. I'm certain I need to see one but since I don't have health insurance and the process for getting financial assistance at any given specialist office is (probably deliberately) incredibly difficult and tedious and almost not even worth the effort, it just doesn't seem feasible at this time.

I am trying to make things to stock my Etsy shop so I can make some money but at the moment I just don't have the energy for it. But maybe I should try anyway. The simple repetitive action of crocheting while listening to a book or Old Gods Of Appalachia might help me settle down and feel more normal. My hands ache but my compression gloves might help.

Things are just extremely scary and very painful right now. Staying determined is hard but I'm trying. I'm trying so hard.

❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜

[chaotic-toby]

Reasons why I kin Ashley Graves!

... well, I wouldn't say kin, but here is a compilation of relatable moments with explanations!

1.

I felt this in my bones when I first watched a playthrough of the game. There is this girl at school who I despise with a burning passion. It seems like everyone likes her, and in my eyes, she stole my friend. My friend barely even notices me anymore; given, I did start distancing myself, but that is because I noticed that every time she was around, my friend would pay attention to the girl that I hate instead of me. Now, I'm not saying that my friends cannot have other friends, but I basically became the friend that you hang out with when your main friend wasn't around. That is exactly what happened.

Everyone likes the girl more than me...

Now I know in this scene, Ashley was being manipulative, but I like to believe that she was voicing her genuine thoughts, or at least something similar to how she actually feels about Nina. And I have definitely thought something similar to this about the girl I mentioned earlier.

2.

Again, I know she is being manipulative, but as I said before, I think she is being slightly genuine, and I've had similar thoughts. I know people do like me-- my family and the few friends and acquaintances I have-- but it feels like they are putting up with me out of pity or because they feel like they have to.

I cannot fathom people genuinely liking me for the person I am, especially since I am an awful friend who can't even be bothered to check up on their friends.

3.

Whenever something bad happens, I think I compartmentalize. I push it away and try to focus on other stuff, acting like the bad thing doesn't bother me or doesn't affect me. Which is probably why my family isn't as worried about me as they should be.

4.

Me to myself every day. What is wrong with me? I mean, there has to be something that pushes people away, that makes it so that everyone I know prefers to hang out with other people over hanging out with me. I am no one's favourite person, and I never will be.

Why can't I just be normal?

5.

Ahaha, my sister once gave me a ring that costed her 50 cents, and I wear it everywhere I go. I love the ring so much. Also, a week ago, my mom bought me a stuffed dog because it reminded her of me and because I was upset the day prior. She didn't have to buy me anything, but she did. So now, I cherish that stuff dog just as much as I do when it comes to my favourite stuffed animal.

I named the stuff dog William.

6.

This is just the same as the earlier examples. She is mostly being manipulative or something, but this is relatable so I'm adding it

(There was another image I wanted to add to this reason but then I wouldn't have been able to add the image for reason seven)

7.

Now this image-- this moment at least in Ashley's mind-- is super duper relatable to me. I cannot remember the last time I felt like I was a part of my family. My family has barely done anything to make me feel ostracized, but for some reason, I just do. I remember numerous times where my family were talking about this and that, and I would just sit there, not chiming in at all, just watching them have so much fun without me.

I remember one time, I was in my room folding laundry, and I could hear my family laughing in the living room. They were having so much. I couldn't see them since I was in my room, but in my mind, I imagined a happy family (though my family has been far from happy).

Another moment that happened months ago was when my sister and her husband visited to eat with me and my mother. My sister and mother were talking about the houses my sister was looking at (she and her husband were planning on moving from the house they were living in at the time). At first, I tried to chime in, but they kept... I wouldn't say ignore me, but I couldn't really keep up with the conversation, so I just sat back and scrolled through Pinterest for God-knows-how-long.

My family looked happy. To me, it was like I was watching them on a t.v. That I wasn't actually there.

So yeah, in Ashley's mind, no matter how hard she tries to sit the Pink bunny at the dinner table, it won't sit up. She doesn't fit in with the family of bunnies, which is relatable and how I feel half the time I'm around my own family.

[sailorsenshishitposter]

Satoru Gojo x Reader

⚠️ Manga spoilers for those that haven't read chapter 236. You've been warned.

Gojo: Your favorite Sanrio mascot is cinnamoroll, you get turned on by blindfolds and you have the emotional maturity of a five year old.

First Date:

You somehow pass the entrance exam and are now enrolled in the Tokyo branch of Jujitsu High. You transport your luggage to your new room but it's really just 50 pounds of unopened sweets that you smuggled in. You wait until the dead of night and then slowly let your addiction consume you.

Currently you are boiling sugar in a spoon with a bic lighter underneath as you had some twizzlers tied together against your arm as a makeshift phlebotomy tourniquet. Before you could inject the sweet nectar into your viens, you noticed a strange sound. You heard loud sniffing sounds outside your door and became petrified. You wondered if it was some kind of curse and you now understood why there was a rule about no food after midnight. The door started to open and you were now trembling.

You heard a growling sensation but to your relief it was just your idiot teachers stomach. "GOJO, WHAT THE HELL!" you screamed and then suddenly his hand clamped down on your mouth. "Yo. If you make too much noise then we'll get caught." He then gave you a cocky grin and removed himself. You were about to question him when the man started to moan. "Ahhh. I knew I smelled sweets!" At least you now knew the horrible sounds earlier where from your teacher and not a curse.

Gojo then pulled something out of his pocket but before you could question it, there was now a pixie stick in your hand, mirroring his. "Let's get this party started!" You then understood what the man intended on doing. Gojo then stacked together some of your school books and then slowly unwrapped the treat seductively. He then poured the sugar into a neat row and then snorted the line. He now had a stream of blood flowing out his nose. "He's high..." you muttered.

You then pulled out a box of pocky and then waived it in the air as if it were a dog treat. Gojo then got on all fours and started panting. You then placed the chocolate in between your lips and waited to see if he would play your little game. He crawled closer and then put his lips around the other end of the biscuit. The two of you both started chowing down and your lips were so close that you started blushing. Now there was only an inch left and you waited to see if he would make the first move. Just before that could happen you started hearing a harpie screech. God damn it. It was your bitch of a mom.

----------------------------------

Once again this poor woman had to enter this crypt of a room and witness the assault of another poor, helpless body pillow. This time it was now the character your daughter would never shut up about. Gojo something? Anyway it was time to drag your goblin spawn out and inform her that it was now time for her monthly bath. "Sweetie you better get in the backyard so I can hose you off! The neighbours are complaining about the stench again!" Unfortunately for you she didn't intend to cooperate.

"I HATE YOU! YOU INTERRUPTED ME AND SENSEI. I WAS ABOUT TO HAVE MY FIRST KISS!" You couldn't help but laugh at how surreal the situation had become. "That's nice honey but Mojo Gojo can wait a little while..." Your patience was running thin. Your daughter then began to scream something about you being a baka or whatever that was and how she was now going on tiktok to look at 2D thirst traps? This was getting tiresome.

You then grabbed the hopefully just sweat stained pillow from your little crotch goblin. She stared back into your eyes, maybe as an attempt to say she wouldn't back down and lose? You then decided to throw her own words back at her. You knew this phrase by heart due to how many times a day you had to hear it. "I think this is what the kids say... nah I'd win." You then tore your daughters beloved pillow in half, hastily throwing the upper half on to the floor.

The creature known as your daughter was now screaming at you, her lungs filled with rage  "I HATE YOU FRAUDKUNA! GET OUT OF MY ROOM AND OUT OF MY LIFE!" You gladly left and then slammed the door. You had no idea what a fraudkuna was but you know knew that he must be a God if he could take control of the situation where you had failed as a parent.

[sk1nt0b3]

Food log, Day 2

Breakfast: 56 c@ls

1 1/2 cup, Coffee (4)

3/8 cup, Caramel Macchiato Iced Coffee (52)

Lunch: 192 c@ls

2 ounces, White rice (74)

Beans (105)

Fried egg (13) ps: I only had 1 bite, I gave the rest to my dogs

Dinner: 384 c@ls

1 roll, Bread (190)

1/4 cup, Shredded cheese (82)

Beans (112)

Snacks: 50 c@ls

1 cake, Caramel rice cake (50)

Total: 682

Burned: 48

Net: 634

Today was kinda weird, I was craving the beans my mom had made for me 😭 like they’re good but I usually don’t crave them like I did. I allowed myself to have them again and it satisfied my craving, I’m happy I didn’t binge on them tho. I feel like I ate so much today tho, I hate the feeling.

[pennysperfectpolls]

Adoption poll preliminary match 12

Kakashi Hatake (Naruto)

Qiqi (genshin impact)

Venus (solarballs)

Bernadetta von Varley (Fire Emblem)

Only two will move on

Propaganda under the cut

Kakashi Hatake (Naruto) Propaganda

He joined the lower ranks of the Ninja-Military at like five and then Dudes Father killed himself, he does not have a mother, when he was like six because he was bullied to death by the entire village for refusing to heed a rule that would have made him sacrifice a teammate of his.

After that he lived alone in the house where his Father killed himself and got like an obsession with not breaking the rules and they just let the kid keep running around in the Ninja-Military and a teammate of his "killed" right after he went "maybe sacrificing people for missions isn't good" pushing him out of the way of a bunch of rocks and then he got his dead teammates Red Ninja Eye transplated into his skull.

His other teammate killed herself by impaling herself in his hand in order to protect the village because she had a creature implanted into her that was supposed to come out and destroy everything, kinda like a living bomb.

I think this all happened before he was approximately thirteen.

And you know, there's only one more thing you can do now, as his teacher who's the highest governmental authority in the village and also dies by the way decided. Put him into the super secret (everyone knows about them) assassin murder furry corps. Where he spent like a decade before being spontaniously kicked out to go from professional government Killer to Teacher of possibly the most fucked group of children known to men, two third of which are tied to people from his past.

He's like twenty-seven and just another Orphan in Orphan Town. There is no one in your way, custody is ripe for the taking.

I'll be honest, I haven't seen Naruto, but I do know a good part of the Lore through other means. The guy reminds me of a rescue dog.

Qiqi (genshin impact) Propaganda

My girl tragically died trapped in a cave due to a demon battle, dying with sad thoughts so sad it gave her a Cryo vision. The Adepti felt bad so they revived her, but she came back as a murderous zombie so they had to seal her in amber for a long time. When she finally came out, she was peaceful but has a terrible memory and must follow commands now. In order to break her out of a command that makes her “stuck”, she has to be hugged and told that she’s loved… and when her main guardian tries it, it doesn’t work. And poor Qiqi has become the poster girl of “losing the 50/50” within the fandom, there’s even a whole lamenting song about “I pulled a Qiqi”. Well maybe I *want* a C6 Qiqi and am frustrated I keep pulling Keqing and Tighnari!

Venus (solarballs) Propaganda

Cute lil grumpy planet that has a gruff voice n hates being called by his namez meaning!!

Bernadetta von Varley (Fire Emblem) Propaganda

My Beautiful Bernie Bear! She needs to be swaddled in the comfiest blankets and gifted all the stuffed animals and insectivorous plants in the world. Her dad was super abusive beating her friends and tying her to chairs and her mom hired someone to kidnap her to send her to the officers academy. There she’s basically a child soldier but at least she’s away from her parents and gets a real found family.

She has so much anxiety and is constantly paranoid of everything so she spends most of the game locked in her room. She only comes out on specific occasions and in the one route where she feels comfortable.

She’s often the first person I talk to each in game month and she’s such a joy. She’s so creative and kind and ah! I want to adopt her so bad!

Also one of the ways people use her in game is to keep her at as low health as possible and that’s so mean and I need to protect her.

[amloveabledeathmo]

I love all of your asks! Thank you so much for initiating! You always have interesting things to ask people so here's an ask for you in return. What is a funny thing that happened to you? For me, it was when I was working as a forestry technician and I had to go to the bathroom out in the wilderness. I told my male partner "don't look" and hopped into the bushes to do my business. I pulled my pants down to my ankles, braced myself against a big, old tree, and just as I was about to go... THE DANG TREE FELL OVER AND I FELL WITH IT! My partner yelled, "OMG CAN I LOOK NOW?" And I, with my pants round my ankles and lying on my back, was laughing too hard to yell anything back. Later on, he was retelling the story and said I peed so hard it took a tree down.

That's hilarious 😂. Using the outdoors to potty is always an adventure. When I was like 14 I used to do endurance races with my dad. Endurance races are horse rides that can include multiple levels; fun runs which are about one loop and 15 miles, limited distance is usually 20 to 30 miles, regular which are between 50 and 65 miles and usually at least three loops with some breaks between them, and finally there are 100 milers which are 100 miles and multiple loops and the only distance I never did. (There's also sometimes something that's like horse and rider and the rider runs next to the horse or something). Also these are not like race run fast, just for the safety of the horse a lot of the time is walking and trotting very little cantering or galloping(do so right in the last few miles is not illegal but everyone will talk and it will not be nice things).

Anyways on the longest loop during one of the rides we did out in the desert, my dad was talking to another rider who was with us at the time. My horse always lagged way behind, Ghazi gave zero fucks about the horses leaving him behind which is rare in horses. I found myself needing to pee and thought well I'll just wait till this dude decides to ride off or maybe I'll hold it till we get to the vet check. Nobody really cares about using the bathroom but I am quite shy so I did care about it and didn't even want to say anything with the other guy there.

About 30 minutes later I realized I was gonna pee in the saddle if I didn't find somewhere and discreetly started trying to get my dad's attention. Bladder is getting more urgent and dad is ignoring me so I just left the trail, went rather far out to find a hill to pee behind and struggled to get off Ghazi without peeing myself and him. He is not at all behind the hill let me tell you and he perks up when a couple riders go past on the trail. So I get done, get remounted, and am heading back to the trail when my dad and his horse King come flying down the trail.

Apparently even though I had been saying Dad hey Dad before I lagged behind and left the trail he never heard it and when him and the other dude caught up to a different rider he turned around and I was gone. He then rode backwards asking people if they'd seen me and they said no even though I saw them from my improvised potty.

Unfortunately for my mother the four riders that were now ahead of us got in to the vet check and started loudly saying Tom lost his daughter. As I was the only Junior in the ride, mom knew it was me and got to be worried until we came in and then my dad told everyone how it was all because I was embarrassed to pee near people and everyone laughed about it. It's funny now but it was embarrassing then.

What I mean by they weren't concerned about the potty is I've seen others just hand the reigns over to someone (and been the one to hold the reigns as well) and then just squat next to their horse to pee.

*Bonus story: Took my niece with me to the Dr's once when she was about 5 and the Dr asked me if I had kids and she very loudly and proudly proclaimed "Aunt A-- has dogs!"

[mattatouilletkachuk]

Sunny’s Off-season Writing Prompts

Rules: you can request something that isn’t on this list, however, I am less likely to write it.

The players that I write for can be found here. If there is a player you want me to write that isn’t on the list just message me and maybe they’ll be added.

1. B wrapping their arms around A’s waist and pulling them close, whispering in A's ear: "Stay close to me."

2. “Is now a bad time to mention that I’m claustrophobic?”

3. “We never speak of this again, do you hear me?”

4. “I don’t want anyone else looking at you.”

5. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

6. “I promise you that I will always be there for you.”

7. “You’ve been laying on my arm all day and I can’t feel it.��

8. “You snore. Loudly.”

9. “I don’t understand how I slept so good last night.”

10. “I never would have guessed that you were a cuddler.”

11. “I crave your affection, but I crave your silence even more - shut up.”

12. “I love the idea of growing old with you.”

13. “You do know you’re stuck with me, don’t you?” “Thank God, I am.”

14. “I will die with you. I won’t ever leave your side.”

15. “Does all this mean nothing to you?”

16. “You make me feel so alone.”

17. “I’m not giving up on us, ever.”

18. “Whatever we are, I like it.”

19. Having sex once when you’re not arguing instead kinda tipsy but not drunk, and it’s all giggles and laughter and sweet nothings and the next morning being like “oh fuck i actually like them”

20. “we should probably stop this” “yeah” … “we’re not going to though, right?” “oh absolutely not.”

21. One of them bursting into tears in the middle of an argument.

22. “Stop arguing with me in front of the kids!” “For the last time, they’re not our fucking kids.” 

23. “I think…I can love you.”

24. feeling each other instantly relax as they both quickly get comfortable

25. “she says we bicker like an old married couple”

26. “Is that my sweater?”

27. “They’ve been missing for 3 days and you’re not worried?”

28. “Honey, I’m home!”

29. “Can I sleep with you?”

30. “You’re definitely your mother/father’s child.”

31. Going to order their usual order, but the other one puts their hand up and says, “Usual, right? I got it.”

32. Too hot to cuddle

33. Characters A and B cuddle in a hammock.

34. "I am staying hydrated. All of my drinks are iced." "That does not count."

35. "There is no shame in using a pool floatie." "Yes, there is. I'm shaming you."

36. Gets caught skinny dipping

37. Character A can't get out of the water after seeing B.

38. A just got out of a bad breakup and is determined to have a meaningless summer fling; until they end up falling head over heels for B.

39. Reaction to the first sundress of the season

40. Getting flustered when they are asked to apply sun screen to the other person

41. (A)'s dog went missing on the beach, and is found by (B).'

42. "I should've worn sunscreen."

43. "When will this summer finally end?"

44. Wondering if bringing flowers to the date is too much. 

45. Putting a flower in the other’s hair. 

46. Only realizing how meaningful the flowers gifted to them are when the other explains why they picked those specific ones.

47. “a picnic?! have you swallowed a romance novel?”

48. Finding a bees nest and having the other person deal with it.

49. Picnic gone wrong

50. “Your mom gave me pictures of you when you were a baby.” 

[gildedmuse]

For anyone who donated to Diesel's bills, I want you to know I WILL be starting on those projects.

While we were not able to afford the surgery, I was able to afford a vet visit and antibiotics and I did everything they told me including holding a heating pack to the wound for 15 minutes every night and as you can see, the little angel is doing so much better!

I am deeply eternally thankful for what donations I received, and I apologize that it's taken me so long to do.... anything. Anyone who follows the blog knows I deal with my own health issues. They've caused me to lose my job (turns out throwing up at your desk is a faux pas, even if you tell them about your sickness at your interview, even if other people work from home with weak excuses but you're not allowed because "your history of getting sick". ) due to the opioid endemic and my age - I'm under 50 - they only intended the pain meds as a "temporary" fix for a chronic, genetic problem that has no cure short of getting my kidneys replaced. So I'm relearning after two years how to live in full time pain.

I hope you can stay patient with me. I am so thankful for all help and well wishes, I honestly wish I could write for everyone who even promoted my original post. When he was brought to me, I just quit my job and gave my sister all my savings for his surgery and then suddenly, from nowhere, she drove up and left two dogs with me. Turns out that's a lot of expenses, especially when one needed a second surgery. It's honestly thanks to the support I received I was able to get Diesel into a vet; I still haven't been able to take his sister in to see anyone, and my sister didn't leave any of her records, but she seems happy and healthy. According to my mom, they are happier with me now that they're not kept in crates (plus I spoil them pretty heavy with pets and walks; I can barely afford the kidney meds and food the boy needs but damn if I can't pet him for hours!)

I just want to thank everyone once again, and promise you're requests have not been forgotten.

I know it's selfish to ask, but I just need a little more time to adjust to my old pain levels and try and find a passable way to make a living while dealing with this pain (the reason I was given pain meds in the first place was because I worked; the deal was, I found a job I thought I could work so they'd give me pain meds, but without a job, obviously, there is no reason for me not to be in pain. And the pain grew bad enough that I was unable to continue work). But I am so, so thankful and I have not forgotten. I've just had to adjust to a very new lifestyle, and I am so sorry about the delay.

Thank you again, I promise I won't disappoint.

[multifandomworldsposts]

We Met in Tampa PT 1

A/N: The story is going to be the plot of the Elvis movie but a Y/N point of view.

Pairing: Austin!Elvis x Reader

Warning: fluff, just that.

Summary: A girl meets Elvis at Louisiana Hayride in Tampa.

Y/N’s POV

Tonight my friends, sisters, and myself are going to see an upcoming musician name Elvis Presley, I wonder what’s his music like?

“Y/N! Samantha! Anne! Josie is here!” our mom yelled from the bottom of the staircase.

“Tell her to come up!” Sammy yelled back.

I fix my makeup and get to my room to get the outfit I’m going to be wearing, my parents get mad at my sisters and I when we wear something ‘inappropriate’ even the outfit is not.

“Y/N, are you ready?” Sammy entered my room.

“Ready as always.” We all go downstairs to see our parents because we have to get money from our dad.

“Dad, can we have some money?” Anne approached.

“Fine here’s 50 bucks.” He handed over to Anne.

“Be careful.”

“We will dad!”

Our mom dropped us off and Anne, Sammy, including myself kissed her on the cheek and met up with some of our friends. The Carnival looks amazing! We all go to the sign that shows Elvis Presley and other musicians names on it.

He finally comes on stage, he looks attractive, and he looked nervous. He started to sing a song, every single person in the audience including myself started to freak out. He had a good voice that I would listen to all day. I saw a lot of clothing being thrown at him, he looked like he enjoyed it. When he was finished my friends, sisters went to find food and I had to stay behind because I wanted to relax a bit.

“Hi there.” I heard a voice behind me, it’s Elvis.

“H-Hi.” I look back at him.

“I noticed you looking at me in the crowd and wanted to say how beautiful you look.”

“Really? I was like in the back of the crowd and there were a bunch of girls in front of you, and you noticed me?”

“Yes.”

That is the most sweetest thing that a person could ever say to me.

“I’m flattered, thank you Elvis.”

“You’re welcome uh,”

“Y/N.”

“It suits you.” I chuckle.

“Are you always this charming?” “I can be to the right girl, and,”

he looks around and whispers in my ear

“You’re the right girl Y/N.” once again, charming.

“You wanna go on the ferris wheel?”

“Uh, sure.” He takes my hand and guides me to the location and I turn my head and see my friends and sisters in shock with food.

We get to the ferris wheel and we sat. I kinda got scared, he noticed.

“You scared of heights?” I look at him and nod. He came close to me and held me close. I felt safe with him.

We talked about ourselves and he gave me a long story about his life. I felt bad when he told me about his dad when he went to jail when he was younger and his mom drinking all the time. I came close to him because I kinda felt cold, we looked at each other, he lend in and kisses me.

“This is my first kiss.” I confess.

“Were you saving it for someone special?”

“I know we just met but, you’re someone special.” He smiles and puts his forehead against mine and we held hands.

We hear a whistle, I look behind me and I see my sisters including my friends wanting me to come to them.

When the ferris wheel let us down I gave him my number and said, “Thank you for the good time Elvis.”

“You’re welcome Y/N.” and kisses my cheek and says, “I’ll call you.”

“Okay.”

I smile, I go to my sisters and their faces still in shock until Josie says, “What was that?!”

“I hung out with Elvis Presley!” I sang the words.

“How?!” Anne says. “He just wanted to talk to me and he called me beautiful.”

“Well here’s you hot dog.” Sammy gave me the hot dog.

Two days later

“Y/N, its for you.” Anne gives me the phone and leaves the living room.

I put the phone to my ear and heard Elvis’s voice, “Hey Y/N.”

“You still have my number.” “I didn’t want to lose it.” I smile.

“Do you want to go on a date?” I heard on the other line. I look around to see if anyone’s listening to me.

“I would love to!”

“Great! What’s your address?” I give him my address.

We kept on talking to each other like about his tour and everything, and something else is going on which he can’t tell me about it.

[vlovebug]

yes, another hcs page I'm sorry I just can't stop 😥

beware grammar mistakes ╯︿╰

val alone hc:

he gets bitchy when someone tells him what to do

he can tell a medical emergency is going to happen (serves dog behavior)

he carries things that may help someone with a disability but never medications that need to be prescribed by a doctor ofc (pots, diabetes, seizures, etc.)

he has medical knowledge ( why do i keep bringing this one up)

likes to sharpen his nails

has knifes in his shoes ( why? idk)

sometimes he talks and just can't stop (real)

sometimes talking takes too much energy ( real)

he's a bit sadistic ( only if it's asked of him)

he expects rough touches after soft ones

he shares the most gruesome facts ever ( best ways to get to the heart, how to gut someone or something, etc.) (he and spelldon work well for each other for a reason)

bc we don't know his dad, I'm saying he never existed ( gift from Eros or just pop in his mom's womb one day) ( holy mary that you?)

he's a great hunter ( bat)

I feel like if a kid likes him he lets them hang off of him

he doesn't bite when he's a bat, it's more like making a paper cut with his nails and drinking from it.

human children scare him, they're just so fucking mean T_T

he has a blanket hoodie that covers 70% of his body ( they're so comfy)

his body takes on the temperature of the climate around him ( dead bodies do this) yet he's always on the colder side ( 50-50 chance I'm keeping this hc)

hes a slut for pumpkin pie

Demisexual and intersex? ( all of Eros's creations are intersex in my eyes/ incubus or succubus)

doesn't know how to tie a tie to save his life.

his body doesn't build muscle but he is strong

will eat lemons like people eat oranges

vampires can't gain or lose weight ( or get taller unless it's from a spell or something) he's the same weight and height as when he died (idk where I was going with this....)

he walks away to not punch someone when they make him mad ( idk if I said this or not) (now that im looking back this... this ones stupid)

he stares at people but doesn't realize it

he only writes with the pen/cil between his pointer finger and middle finger ( I do this sometimes and it feels great )

this is an explanation for the height I gave Valentine (5'2), in 800 ad ( yes 800 it's the closest I could find to 410ad leave me alone.) the average height for males was 167cm( 5'4) to 173cm (5'6) and I think he's a little under the percentile for his age group back in ad ( this doesn't make sense does it), so I put him in 5'2-5'3 without heeled shoes on because of this. ( if the height percentiles for 800 ad are wrong let me know I just used Google so idk if it's right or not)

he wears contacts ( is he blind ? We will never know.)

he laughs at people who say pink is only for girls

he took a liking to a human once, and they died. big sad

Don't play hide and seek with him.

he is oblivious when he's around someone he trusts, he doesn't do it on purpose it just kinda happens (for example is paying attention to his surroundings) so there's a bunch of safety stuff on shit so he doesn't hurt himself or brake anything ( this was the explanation for the one hc I made with spelldon)

Don't make bets with this man. he will win every time. ( he's made people go broke bc of how competitive he gets.

has a great poker face

hes related to cupid but doesnt know how

he wears underclothing everyday and night ( he's modest ig) ( ignore my old art bc of this :D)

hes scared of kismet (fate or destiny)

mad val is very rare and the reason is cus he's scary af

has a harder time getting over baby gates even tho he can fly ( he forgets )

his nails and teeth can detract and attract ( like enid's from Wednesday)

can be summoned by a summoning circle

He is part incubus but doesn't do sexual favors cus ew ( 50% vampire, 50% incubus)

He's an enigma

His bat form is a fruit bat :D

He can't eat if somes around him

spelldon alone hc:

he wears alot of snake jewls

can't STAND fake friends

he's got RBF ( resting bitch face)

he judges people by accident and makes a face every time, Val called it the face of judgment ( I can't think of a name for it :()

has a great poker face

gay and demisexual

turns people into animals on purpose

he can be extermly cruel.

likes holding hands

very touchy

him and his sister act like its.giz on tiktok ( i think) ( outside source wow )

they like harassing each other in stupid ways

she has pushed him down the stairs more times than he can count

has actually really soft and gentle with the innocent

he likes to admire val when he zoned out cus he wont get yelled at for staring

He is competitive but not as much as Val

he is full god ( i say he is but idk if his dad was god or not, so fuck it)

he uses his hands and magic more in fights than actual weapons

he finds it amusing that people forget how much monsters are monsters till they get like scared ( no Brittny you can't fix him he eats people.)

he has certain things he lets no one touch, not even val

spelldon is like 6'0-6'3 because hes the son of a goddess ( or two depends) so he got them good-good genes. ( give)

he tigtens jar on purpose cus he forgets that val is also strong and can open anything, so he gets sad when val opens shit he tightens cus he wanted to open it for him ( loser )

somehow always has a book on him, no clue where he puts it.

his hair is in either dreads or twists ( I know dreads are kinda of like twists but they stay that way but idk how that works:,0)

piercings galore (def has snake bites + tongue)

steps over baby gates but sometimes trips

has a pet snake

SPELLTINE:

Val has a garden that has pretty much all of the herbs and funus that spell needs for spells or potions

they can carry each other pretty easly

they both have quite places where they go when they need personal time

spell has a shit ton of piercings ( as i said earlier), val doesn't but he wears more jewelry that can be slipped off ( rings, bracelets, necklaces , etc.)

they make things for eachother

val likes grabbing spell and taking him really high into the air and dropping him and grabbing him before he hits the ground ( with permission and a heads up ofc)

They are smart until they're together then they turn stupid

BC spell can see Kismet and such, he tells very veg ones to Val if he's like extremely panicked

they both get moonstruck

misanthropy. both of them.

they cover the table's sides so the other doesn't hit their head when they get something under them

spell with do anything Val tells him to ( within reason ofc, but he really does always say yes)

val teaches spell how to certain weapons but gets confused why he goes all red

val once got the folded test paper of doom and spell laughed at his face then he got the folded test paper of doom then it was vals turn to laugh at him.

spell keeps a drawing of val on him cus he cant get a photo

they played hide and seek once. spell said never again.

they throw water on each other when stressed ( cold water to the face helps calm someone down cus its cold, google it I cant explain)

val likes to climb up spells shirt while being a bat, it freaks spell out cus he cant find him then boom something ice cold is claiming up his back

olive theory, spell like them val doesn't

picky eater and the one who eats what they give them, spell is the one that eats the stuff val gives him

spell holds vals blood bags to that they warm up, his body temp is high af

parts of them glow in the dark ( eyes, vals body markings, certain pricing of spells glow in the dark, vals nails {dont ask why I've come to this conclusion I just did})

compliments that actually seem more like insults to others

disturbing insults

If they share meals they eat in different rooms

( I'm so sorry this is so long, it was supposed to be three different posts)

[massivedrickhead]

and buddy makes six (1/1)

Pitchmas 2022

Words: 2316

Notes: Merry Pitchmas @chubby-maimaki, I’m your (replacement) secret santa! 

You asked for a chaotic Christmas with some funny moments. Wholesome isn’t usually my wheelhouse but I hope this ticked all the boxes you were after. Happy Holidays, I hope you enjoy this!

Read on AO3

-

Chaotic is the only word you could use to describe the Mitchell-Beale household at any given time, and on Christmas it was even more so.

And now that Beca and Chloe had finally caved - or rather Beca had finally caved - and gotten their three kids a dog, it was about to become so much worse.

“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” Beca muttered, stepping through the back door of their home, a tiny Border Collie puppy held in her arms. He gave a small yap and wriggled, and Beca froze. “This is such a bad idea, they’re going to hear him."

“They can’t hear anything, the TV is turned up to 50 in there,” Chloe said, scratching the puppy behind his ears. “Hi handsome!” She cooed. “Go on, get him upstairs, the pen is all set up.”

Chloe gave her wife a quick kiss on the cheek before returning to the kids in the living room.

Beca crept upstairs with the wriggling puppy still in her arms.

“Something tells me I’m going to regret this,” she said. He responded by licking her cheek. “Gross.”

She opened her bedroom and placed the puppy in the pen that Chloe had set up for him.

“You’re gonna be good, right? No barking?”

He yapped in response.

“Dude, you’re gonna get us busted,” Beca said, scratching his ear. “It’s just for an hour until the kids go to bed, okay?” He rolled over onto his back, and Beca transitioned to rubbing his belly. “I guess you are pretty cute. The kids are gonna love you.”

She stayed a little while longer until he curled up in the blankets Chloe had put down and went to sleep. 

Beca crept out of the room and down the stairs, and then went to the front door.

She opened and closed it with a thud, and announced “I’m home!”

Three pairs of feet came pounding out of the living room.

“Mama!” Alexis, the youngest, said, arms outstretched so Beca could pick her up.

“Hi,” Beca said, grinning as she lifted up the two-year-old and sat her on her hip.

Callie, seven years old and their middle kid, was next to greet her, wrapping her arms around Beca’s other side.

Nathan, the oldest at almost thirteen, simply raised his hand in greeting. 

“You’re late,” Chloe said, trying to hide a smirk as she raised an eyebrow. She kissed Beca on the cheek. 

“I had a last-minute errand to run,” Beca replied.

“We had to start the movie without you,” Callie said, taking her mom’s hand and pulling her towards the living room.

“Oh no,” Beca said, with such heavy sarcasm that even Alexis picked up on it. “Whatever shall I do?”

“We could start over,” Chloe casually suggested.

“No, no,” Beca said, quickly. “It’s getting late and these kids need to be in bed before Santa comes.”

“Mom, Santa isn’t real-”

“-Really strict about bedtimes?” Beca said, cutting Nathan off and raising her eyebrows. “Actually he is.”

Nathan rolled his eyes but laughed.

“Hey, I’m the only member of this family that’s allowed to roll their eyes,” Beca said, sitting on the sofa beside him, Alexis still in her arms.

Chloe sat on Beca’s other side, and Callie climbed up onto Chloe’s lap. 

“I think we need a bigger sofa,” Beca said, as Alexis wriggled to get comfortable.

Just as Chloe was about to hit play on their paused movie, there was a very loud, very distinctive, bark.

Everyone froze.

“What was that?” Callie asked.

Chloe shrugged and hit play on the movie. “Probably came from outside.”

“It sounded like a dog,” Nathan said.

“There are dogs outside,” Beca said. “I’m sure Devon across the street just got one.”

“Doggy!” Alexis chimed in, helpfully. “Doggy, mama! Woof!”

“There’s no doggy, baby,” Beca said, kissing the top of her head. “Doggy outside.”

Chloe turned the TV up, hoping to disguise any more barks, until Alexis put her hands over her ears.

“Mommy loud!”

“Sorry,” Chloe said, dropping it back down.

Beca and Chloe exchanged a nervous glance.

Alexis was asleep in Beca’s arms by the time the movie had finished, and she carried her up to bed while Callie and Nathan helped Chloe set out milk and cookies for Santa.

She put Alexis in her crib, kissed her on the head, and switched on her baby monitor.

“Sweet dreams baby girl,” she said, softly, pulling the door shut behind her.

Beca stuck her head in her bedroom to check on the puppy, and his tail started wagging immediately as he let out another bark.

“Shh,” Beca said, quickly, hurrying into the bedroom. 

“Bec, come say goodnight to the kids,” Chloe called as she climbed the stairs.

“Dude, please be cool,” Beca said to the puppy, who cocked his head and yapped again. Beca sighed, quickly stroked his head, and then left her room. 

The kids reached the landing just as Beca shut her door behind her.

“What are you doing?” Nathan asked as Beca stood in front of the doorknob. 

“Nothing,” Beca said, quickly. 

“You’re acting sus.”

“I am not acting sus,” Beca replied. “I’m acting totally normal. Come hug your mother goodnight.”

Nathan rolled his eyes again but smiled as he gave Beca a hug. She gave him a kiss on the head and he groaned and wriggled out of her embrace.

“Gross,” he said. 

“Rude,” Beca replied. 

Chloe hugged and kissed him too.

“Please don’t stay up all night on TikTok,” she said. “Your sisters will wake you up early tomorrow.”

“Uh-huh,” he said. “Night Mom.”

“Goodnight,” Beca and Chloe said together.

“Night mama,” Callie said when Beca squeezed her into a hug.

“Goodnight sweetheart,” Beca replied, kissing her on the cheek. “You want a story tonight?”

Callie shook her head. “I wanna go to sleep so Santa can come.”

“Okay,” Beca said. “Sleep tight.”

Chloe walked Callie to her room, and Beca quickly retreated back into the bedroom.

When Chloe got back to their room, Beca was sitting in the pen she’d made for the puppy, with the dog on her lap.

“I thought you didn’t want a dog,” Chloe said, grinning.

“I don’t,” Beca said, smiling as he yawned and tipped backwards. “I think this is a terrible idea.”

“Mhm,” Chloe said, sitting on the bed and watching them. “We’ll have to put him in our bathroom tonight you know.”

Beca looked up at her. “By himself?”

Chloe laughed. “The kids will burst in here first thing, we don’t want them to see him.”

Beca frowned. “I’ll wake up early and put him in there tomorrow.”

“Oh my god, he already has you wrapped around his little… paw. I can’t say I’m surprised, it was the same as Nathan, Callie, and Alexis. You can’t resist a cute face.”

Beca laughed and shook her head. “Tell me about it. Why do you think I said yes when you asked me out?”

“And here I was thinking you just wanted to see me naked again,” Chloe said with a laugh.

“Well, yeah, that too,” Beca said. “Are the milk and cookies set out?”

“Yep,” Chloe said. “Plus a carrot for Rudolph.”

“I wonder if he wants some milk,” Beca asked, looking at the puppy. She looked at Chloe. “Can we give him that?”

“Not unless you want him to shit everywhere,” Chloe said. 

“So does that mean I have to drink it?” Beca asked, and Chloe rolled her eyes. “Okay, when did this family start doing that? The eye-rolling is my thing.”

“Ah ha,” Chloe said. “You invented eye-rolling babe.”

“And now sarcasm? Is nothing sacred?”

“Shut up,” Chloe said, laughing. “Bring him downstairs so he can pee and I’ll take care of the milk.”

Once the puppy had used the bathroom and Beca and Chloe had taken care of the milk and cookies, they both headed up to bed. All of their kids were sleeping soundly, and the puppy dozed off in his pile of blankets as soon as Beca put him down.

They climbed into bed and shared a quick goodnight kiss before settling down.

“I can’t believe we got a dog,” Beca mumbled as Chloe wrapped her arms around her waist. 

“I know,” Chloe said. “We’re crazy.”

-

“Bec,” Chloe said, her voice thick with sleep. “I can hear the kids.”

“They’re loud kids,” Beca replied. “We hear them constantly.”

“No,” Chloe said, stifling a yawn. “I mean they’re up. You need to hide the dog.”

“Already getting this dog is coming back to bite me in the ass,” Beca groaned.

“You’re the one who-”

“I know, I know,” Beca said, waving her off as she forced herself out of bed.

The puppy was still sleeping soundly, and Beca moved his pen as gently as she could into their en-suite and shut the door, just in time to hear the sound of a little fist rapping against their door.

Beca and Chloe looked at each other and saw their own tired smiles reflected back at them. 

“Come in,” Chloe said.

The doorknob turned and Callie burst into the room, climbing up onto her parents’ bed. 

“It’s Christmas!”

“Is it?” Beca asked. “No one told me.”

“Can we go downstairs?” Callie asked. “Please?”

“What do you think, Mommy?” Beca asked Chloe.

“Hmm, it might be too early,” Chloe said.

“But I’ve been awake for ages,” Callie moaned. “And Nathan said I had to wait but I can’t!”

“Okay,” Chloe said. “Go get Nathan, I’ll get Alexis.”

No sooner had Callie left the room did they hear a little yap coming from the bathroom.

“What was that?” Callie said, running back in.

“I sneezed,” Beca said, quickly.

Callie’s eyebrows pulled together as she stared at her Mom.

“I think I’m getting a cold,” Beca said, doing another fake sneeze.

“Bless you,” Chloe said, trying hard to sound sincere. “Go get Nathan,” Chloe said again to Callie, scared that the dog would bark again.

“I’ll get Alexis,” Chloe said, “we’ll all go down together and then you can come back up for him, okay?”

“Got it,” Beca said. “Who knew the hardest part about getting a dog would be hiding him from the kids.”

Chloe cocked her head. “You’ve never had a dog before, have you, babe?”

Beca shook her head and Chloe laughed. She got up and gave her wife a kiss. “Merry Christmas, by the way.”

“Merry Christmas,” Beca replied, grinning.

Once all their kids had made it downstairs and were sitting in the living room by the tree, Beca excused herself.

“I think I left my phone upstairs,” she said. “Don’t start opening gifts without me.”

Callie groaned, at the thought of having to wait one more minute.

“Mommy presents?” Alexis asked, pointing at the wrapped gifts.

“Soon,” Chloe said. “When Mama comes back.”

“I can hear that sound again,” Nathan said, standing so he could look out of the window. “I can’t see any dogs out there.”

“Weird,” Chloe said, trying hard to hide her own excitement.

“Hey,” Beca said, poking her head in the door. “It looks like Santa left an extra gift upstairs for you guys.”

“What is it?” Callie asked.

Beca stepped into the room, the puppy held in her arms.

It took a moment for the kids to register what it was, but he soon wriggled, yawned, and let out another yappy bark.

“Oh my god!” Callie squealed. “Is he ours? Can we keep him?”

“Ah ha,” Beca said, smiling at the looks on her kids' faces. Even Nathan, who had been rapidly turning into a grumpy teen before their eyes, looked like a kid again, his eyes wide and mouth open.

“Now before everyone gets too loud and excited,” Chloe said, using her strict voice that was rarely heard. “We need you all to remember that he isn’t a toy. He’s a pet, a member of the family, and he’s going to be with us for, hopefully, a very long time. We treat him gently, and kindly, and we take care of him. We don’t pull or poke him, and when he doesn’t want to play, we leave him alone.”

“We’ll be gentle,” Callie said, practically vibrating with excitement as she reached up to pet him from where he was held in her Mom’s arms.

“Having a dog is a lot of work,” Beca said. “So we’ll all need to help out with cleaning up after him, training him, feeding him, and walking him. It’s a big responsibility.”

“We’ll help,” Callie said, quickly.

Beca looked at Nathan, who nodded. “We will,” he said. 

Beca crouched down and put the puppy on the floor.

“Hi puppy!” Callie said, trying to hold back as she stroked his little head. Beca could tell she wanted to pick him up and squeeze him, and she was proud that she was restraining herself.

Alexis wasn’t quite sure what to make of him, but when he sniffed her outstretched hand and licked it, she squealed and giggled. 

“Gentle,” Chloe said, as Alexis reached out to touch him again.

“Doggy!” Alexis replied. 

“What’s his name?” Callie asked.

“We don’t know yet,” Chloe said. “He’s a family dog, we should all help choose it.”

“He has a patch on his eye,” Callie said. “Like a pirate.”

“We could call him Patch?” Beca suggested.

“Patch,” Alexis repeated. “No Patch, Mama.”

“Okay,” Beca said, laughing.

“What about Spot?” Chloe said.

Callie shook her head. “He has patches, not spots.”

“We got him on Christmas,” Nathan said. “He should have a Christmassy name.”

“Oh!” Callie said. “We heard him bark when we were watching Elf! We should call him Buddy!”

Buddy replied with a yap.

“Yeah,” Nathan said, scratching him behind his ear, laughing as his leg started to twitch. “Buddy.”

“Can you say ‘Buddy’, Lexie?” Chloe asked Alexis.

“Buddy,” Alexis replied.

“Well I think that’s decided then,” Beca said. “Welcome to the family, Buddy.”