#my mom almost dying and me having to cover everything was not on my bingo

[misericordieux]

Tomorrow I will go to work and right now I have such a fever that I wet my mattress... I’m definitely going to work tomorrow even if I have to contaminate them all I don’t give a damn I need my full month salary

We are all dying together

[thekillingjoke-haha]

We’re Batshit Crazy

@spnquotebingo​ Word count:1,609

Summary: Love isn't all that perfect sometimes love is crazy especially when the Hero is in love with said crazy.

Gotham AU

Jason Todd(Jensen Ackles) x Villan!Reader

Enemies and Lovers (none of that "to" bs)

Gotham Recasting: Batman=John, Dick Grayson(second Robin not first) =Sam ,Tim Drake=Adam, Joker(ledger style)=Lucifer, Harley Quinn=Lilith,ect.

Warnings: Mention of death, blood, guns, and violence

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The mad laughter rung out into the night sky as the purple Lamborghini hit corners with violently sharp turns. "Oh puddin I just love family night!~" The pale platinum blonde giggled as the man with green dyed hair licked his smiling lips. A bubble of laughter came from the back seat he turned around to see his princess looking out the small back window. "Batsy batsy batsy" Her low/high pitched giggle caused a crazy chain reaction as the bat mobile hurried to catch up. "Always ruining our fun,huh,princess?" The clown king shifted his gray-ish blue order into the mirror grinning making the scars on his face raise into a sinister smile at the look of pure chaos in his daughter's e/c eyes. "Not tonight! Not on my birthday!!" She said as she smiled reaching under the seat to pull out a Tommy gun. Climbing to the front seat sitting on her mothers lap she leaned out the passenger window. "Go back to the Rat cave your not gonna put a downer on my weekend!" Y/n yelled shooting off round towards the tires,windshield,and headlights.

The mobile didn't seem to have a scratch as as a motorcycle pulled up beside it. Slipping back in the car the younger women pouted looking at get parents. "He called his little birdie no doubt the replacements in the car." Y/n huffed as she dug around for more fire power. "Puddin we have a visitor.~" The red mask gazed at us as he lifted a forearm pistol. Shots were fired and Joker took a hard right almost like tron the motorcycle quickly turned into a ally to avoid being hit. "Sorry Princess might have to cut tonight shot." He said licking his lips as a thump came from the roof making the youngest clown snarl her eye crazed as she shot above her as the purple car swerved wildly. "YOU'RE RUINING MY BIRTHDAY,BATS!!!" Y/n cackled madly a mixture of her parents laughed till the magazine ran out.

They got to one of their warehouses where Jokers men were armed to the teeth. The clown mask had black soulless eyes and immediately fired the moment the batmobile entered. Y/n skipped out of the purple Lamborghini she got on her tippy toes and kissed her dad on the cheek. "I got the hooded punk. Can you clip the bats wings for me...a little present?!" He laughed as he armed himself with a shotgun. "Anything for my princess." The f/c sf/c female clown skipped away knowing that the motorcycle riding vigilante was hot on her tail. That's how she found herself on the roof tops jumping the gaps as heavy footfalls followed. Her loud laugh echoed as she leaped to a smaller building hiding behind a vent the moment the brown leather jacket came into view she tackled the tall man. They were both panting as a grin pulled on the clowns lips.

Y/n POV

"Caught ya,Jay bird." I giggled pulling of the helmet his apple green eyes covered by a second mask stared at me he chuckled as his hand slipped above his head in mock surrender. "Yeah you caught me,beautiful." Leaning down I kiss him my hands pushed into his cheeks my thumb running over the scarred J. We've been dating for awhile now ever since dad kidnapped the second Robin at seventeen. I was fifteen at the time and dad had me at his side as he tortured him.I was always there to stitched him up and put burn cream after shock therapy I didn't know how we got attached maybe because he wanted to rebel a little by talking to me or someone around his age saw the same if not worse shit.

Six years ago(Y/n 15 Jason 17)

"Why are you helping me?" Looking up his head was strapped down along with his arms and legs. I shrugged my shoulders I knew who he was if I wiped off the make up and temp dyed my hair I was the honor student in the same class as him. Jason Todd anyone with eyes had a thing for him,but after removing his mask it wasn't hard to piece together who the bat fam is. "I know what my dad has planned for you Jay. This is just a band-aid on a gunshot wound and might I say that's very unhelpful." This was the first I spoke to him and it wasn't long before Dad beat him to death.

Two years later.

I sat in the back of the car as Frost drove. We just left the cemetery. "Why are we doing this,n/n." He asked looking in the rear view mirror at me. I'm seventeen now my thoughts screamed at me. Why was I trying to bring him back? "Because I crazy that why!" I giggled as we grew closer to the lazapit. He was dressed in a black suit with red tie his body sunk into the water as I waited. A loud gasp drew my attention as he shot up a white streak in his hair. "Heya sleeping beauty." Looking over in shock he lowly made his way looking like a baby deer. "I'm alive,but h-how?" His green eyes looked at me. "A Ghoul owed me a few favors I just asked to use his fountain of youth." Handing him a towel and some clothes. "Sorry about the outfit,but Arkham does have one size fits all." Jason chuckled as he started to dry off.I realized why I brought him back. I was crazy about him.

Two more years later(two years ago)

Jason wanted to stay dead he didn't go back to His dad and brother after he realized that neither of them tried and save him. It was sad to see,but it brought Jason closer to me and he started to trust me and I gave trust in return. Blood coated my hands while some was on my face. Looking at Jay some was speckled on his cheeks taking the pockets square out of the mobsters coat I wiped it off he looked down at me his arm slipped around my waist pulling me closer my breath hicked. "Will you be my girlfriend,my little jester?" A large smile grew on my face as my arms went around his neck pulling him down further. "Gladly,Jay bird." I kissed him not caring if my lipstick stained his lips and he didn't seem to care either as the kiss grew more intense. We shared our first kiss at nineteen surrounded by dead bodies as sirens and the unmistakable sound of the armed batmobile. At least he's as crazy about me as I am about him.

One year ago. (Jason POV for a sec)

I came to Bruce I hate to admit it but I needed advice about the one think he knew best. Women. It was just a couple of months ago he found out I was alive and shocker he managed to drive Dicky boy to Blüdhaven to get away from him to get his own image and not just Robin. Oh and surprise surprise when out of robins he had a spare like a tire and it's name was Tim. Nevermind that I stood across from Bruce in his home main office he had a frown on his face. "You're dating someone and its serious and I didn't know about it?" He asked trying to deduct everything. "I've been dating her ever since I came back. As strange as it might sound,but I want us to be something more." That's when the billionaire playboy stood up standing just a inch shorter then myself.

"Life is short Jason and you've experienced that first hand if you feel that both of you are perfect enough to be more then go for it." Perfect wasn't realistic nothing was ever perfect my life isn't perfect her life sure as hell isn't she's the clown princess I'm a bat son. Maybe that what makes us so good together the fact that it would have never really happened any other way life is just crazy like that.

Present

Staring into those vexing green eyes always brought me back. We're both twenty-one him being older only by a couple of months. "Happy birthday,gorgeous." His voice brought me back as my smile grew. We were standing up now he held a box wrapped in my two favorite colors. "Awe you shouldn't have." I grab it and opened it a gun was inside it was red and gold revolver it looked like my moms love/hate gun,but it said King/Queen. Looking at Jay I reached to hug him when suddenly he dropped to one knee pulling out a box with a beautiful f/c ring and ruby gem. "This feels over due. You took care of me when I was considered enemy number one. You brought me back from the grave when my own family didn't try. And this might sound stupid,but I had a crush on you in middle school you were one of the only people that didn't give me pity after Bruce adopted a street kid." He licked his lips as he gave of a small smile. "Together we are far from perfect, but we are good. You complete me...Y/n M/n Napier become my queen?" My eyes glossed over with tears my make up running down the pale foundation. "Oh my god of course!!!" I jumped into his arms hugging him tightly before letting him slip on the ring. "I love you." "I love you more crazy." I chuckle it sounded watery in my throat. "If I'm crazy then that makes two of us. You wanted to marry me." Yep we're both batshit crazy.

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A/n: Quote= We are far from perfect, but we are good. ~Supernatural

Is it just me or does Jensen look fucking hot as Red Hood?! I'm mean he's definitely a reason to move to Gotham

Well first crossover AU in my bingo card

[supernaturallyobsessedchic]

You’re Not a Monster

Dean x Reader

a/n: I’m putting an authors note here because I don’t know how to tag the reader. She’s a werewolf shapeshifter. She shifts into a wolf like in all of my A/B/O fictions I’ve written. Basically it’s Twilight shit that I write my werewolves. XD Don’t mind me.

Bingo Masterlist

Mobile Masterlist

Warnings: STRONG ANGST, Language, SPN level gore and blood, scary situations, Fluff end to the rescue.

Summary: Dean discovers something different with the reader and it changes their relationship. Is there anything worth saving after Dean learns the truth.

Word Count: 2,609

Square: Quote A (“How about we put the gun down and let’s talk about this?”) @supernatural-jackles​. SPN Tell me a Story Bingo.

a/n#2: This is not part of the Finding Him storyline.

a/n #3: My dumb ass forgot to credit the creator of this gif, I space out and forget, I’m not dumb...but credit for the gif goes to @supernaturalfreewill​

~

“Shit.” She muttered, as she morphed back into her human form to find a very furious looking Dean looking back at her.

They were on a wendigo hunt, when a wendigo almost had a upper hand on Dean, she had morphed into her white wolf form to get out of a tight situation with another wendigo.

Wendigos, though fearless of their prey. But when they are the prey, it’s a whole other ballgame. They began to back off of the hunters. But Dean fired off two flare guns to kill the two wendigos before they got away.

“Dean, I can explain.”

He grabs his colt, loaded with silver bullets. Aiming it at her.

“Dean.” She begged.

“We talked about everything.” He shouted. “Whatever happened to that? When were you gonna tell me about this?”

“Well, how about we put the gun down and let’s talk about this?” she suggested with a shaky voice.

“Talk, now.” He demanded. Ignoring her suggestion. Keeping his gun up and pointed at her.

“Well, my mom was human, and my dad was a werewolf. I don’t know what else to really say.”

“You fucking morphed into a giant ass wolf!”

“I’m not that big honestly.”

“Y/N!”

“Half Breads like me are smaller than the pure breeds. And a certain gene causes the morphing. Most werewolves don’t morph, you just see the fangs and the claws. My kind morph.”

“Now answer the second question.”

She swallowed thickly. Still nervous and scared of the man she’s trusted and loved for years.

“I was never going to mention it to you because I was scared of this. I’m still scared of you finding out somehow some way, and killing me in my sleep.”

For the first time in the night, she saw her flash across the older Winchester’s face.

Faint foot falls can be heard, Sam entered the cave room where they stood. Sam seeing Dean aiming a gun at Y/N.

“Dean, what are you doing?” Sam shouted at the scene.

“She’s a monster, Sam. And she’s lied to us, all this time, she’s lied to us!” he shouted.

“That’s not true, Y/N, tell him.”

“What can I tell him?”

“Dean, do you count how many times she’s had our backs?” Sam asked. “There was that werewolf case in Minnesota when the pack leader cut you up pretty badly. She murdered that son of a bitch and saved your ass. And then there was that witch in Mississippi, the witch turned you into wolf, we couldn’t move you around the city like a normal dog because people knew a wolf from a husky. She managed to find the counter spell, turn you back to human. Then there was that ---”

“I get it Sam, but she could have told me she was part fucking wolf!”

“She had all that time still, all that time to kill us and she didn’t.”

“It doesn’t matter Sammy.” He says, lowering his gun looking at her with disgust. “I can’t trust her.” He says to her.

“Dean please!” she begged tearfully.

“Don’t.” he snapped.

She snapped her jaw shut and she just let her tears fall freely.

“Find your own way back to the bunker, I expect you to be out before morning.”

They stood in the cave room in dead silence despite Y/N’s sniffles from her tears.

“Don’t ever come back.” He warns.

He holsters his gun, and turns to walk out of the cave. Sam couldn’t say anything to Y/N to make her feel better before she silently walked out not far behind his brother.

 One year turned into three, the Winchester’s and Y/N stayed apart but still kept up on hunting. That is until one hunt brought them together again.

It started with hearts being ripped out of college students in the Navajo desert.

Y/N was the first to investigate, one of the students place of death was just outside of an old reservation, a cave dwelling in northern Arizona.

Odd, I smell wolf, but I smell something else. She thought.

She heard a screech from a monster inside the cave dwelling.

Not wolf, wendigo. She panicked. Realizing she was unprepared.

The wendigo showed itself to her, being three times her size, head nearly reaching the caves ceiling.

“Oh, your one of the first wendigos…” she says to herself. Thinking out loud.

It let out another ear shattering screech. Y/N covered her ears desperately to save her hearing. But the wendigo drew its hand back, landing a hard swing of it’s claws. Knocking her across the cave dwelling, hitting the wall hard. Hearing a loud crack, she landed hard on the ground. She felt something warm and sticky ooze out of the back of her head.

She saw the wendigo crawl towards her before her world turned black.

 Weeks later, more bodies turn up, picking up the attention of the Winchester’s.

“If this is werewolves, why was the most recent death out in the desert?” Dean asked.

“Maybe their hold up in the old caves the Navajo natives stayed in? I don’t know Dean, but it was a little over two weeks ago. And their saying a person went missing last week, they were probably looking into the same thing we are.”

“Well, let’s go gank this son of a bitch, stop the bodies from dropping out here.”

With that, they loaded up the Impala for the 50 mile trek to the Navajo Cave Dwellings.

 “This looks so cool; I wonder how the Natives lived in these things.” Sam says fully mesmerized.

“Alright nerd, focus.”

Sam just rolls his eyes. As they searched higher along the cave dwellings.

“Oh my god no,” Sam breaths. His heart dropping to his stomach.

“What?” Dean asked, not far behind from Sam.

When Sam took off running, he managed to catch a good glimpse at what he was running to. More like who he was running to.

“Y/N!” Sam shouted.

Dean took off at his heel running to her side.

“Her wounds are weeks old; she may not make it Dean.”

“Don’t talk like that, she’ll make it.”

“Y/N, baby, can you hear me?” Dean asked, trying to cup her head, his fingers dragging across dried blood. Pulling away, Sam seeing the dried chips of blood on his hand.

“Can wolves like her heal?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know, I never looked into it.”

“Dean, what if she’s gonna die?”

“Sammy, listen to her heart, listen to her breathing, she’s still here with week old wounds. If she didn’t die yet, she’s not gonna.”

Sam began to investigate her wounds further. Seeing the infected gash on her stomach and chest.

“She’s running a bit of a fever Sammy; we need to get her out of here.” Dean says, after running a hand on her forehead.

“Dean, these are Wendigo wounds.” Sam says, pulling up her shirt. Causing the injured girl to groan.

“Easy, Y/N, you’re safe, we got you.” Dean soothed.

“Dean,” she groans. She seemed like she was awake, but her eyes weren’t opening.

“Hey sweetheart, it’s me. You’re okay.”

“Wendigo,” she whispers.

“I know baby, we know it’s a wendigo now.”

“Giant…Wendigo…” she mutters before her body goes limp in his arms.

“Giant wendigo?” Sam asked.

“Could be a hallucination?” Dean questioned.

There was a distant screech in the dwellings.

Sam looked on within the dwellings, and he caught first glimpses of the Wendigo.

“Um, Dean, we might have to abort this one.”

“Why---oh fucking shit.” Dean says following Sam’s gaze seeing the size of the Wendigo crawling out of the Dwellings.

“Sam, that death that was out here, was it even a werewolf?” Dean asked.

“Nope, they ranked it up to animal attack.”

“Then lets get Y/N, and lets get the hell out of here.” Dean says, scooping Y/N up with little to no effort. “Fuck this, lets get!” Dean shouts.

The Wendigo lets out a ear shattering screech. The boys didn’t stop, they hurried as fast as they could out of the cave.

A hand of the wendigo crashed near them, the impact causing them to fly out. Sam flying off left, rolling, and hitting a wall. Dean lost his footing, rolling down the walkway, loosing Y/N from his hold, his back hitting the wall of the pathway. And Y/N stopped halfway on the path.

The roll had dazed Dean a bit, before he noticed the Wendigo was moving to land his hand down to crush Y/N.

“Y/N! NO!” Dean shouted helplessly.

At the sound of Dean’s voice was enough for Y/N to find a small ounce of energy to wake and morph.

Her wolf form let out whine at the pain from the infected wounds. She stumbled to get her footing to jump towards Dean. The wendigo missing her just mere inches.

But the effort proved to be too much for her to handle. She collapsed onto Dean’s lap with a whine and huff. The wolf totally unconscious again.

Sam was first up rushing to his brother.

“Dean, we can’t fight this, it’s too big. And Y/N could be dying from those infections. Let’s get.”

“Help me carry her, she morphed.”

“I’ll grab her tail end; you grab her head.”

They did as planned, and they rushed back to the Impala. Laying the wolf in the back seat. Dean hurries to the driver seat, Sam already in the passenger seat. Dean turned the key in the ignition, roaring the engine to life. He puts it into gear, and he peels out of the canyon where the Cave Dwellings sat, driving full speed to the motel.

 Eventually she morphed back to her human form in her unconscious state as she laid healing in the older Winchester’s bed.

Dean was not letting up; he was going on two nights of no sleeps. He had not moved from his spot by her bedside.

“Dean.” Sam says entering his room.

“I’m not hungry Sammy.”

“Dean, you know when she wakes up and when she finds out you doing this to yourself she’s gonna kick your ass, you know that right.”

“Let her.”

“Dean.” Sam says with a sigh.

“I was so angry with her for her not telling me everything. But she did have a point, “hey guys I’m part monster, don’t kill me.””

Sam stayed silent. Letting Dean just talk it out.

“She would have a reaction to silver, I never looked into, I never asked her. And I pointed a gun at her. I was literally two seconds away from killing the one girl I loved. When there was nothing wrong with her.”

“Dean, your trust with her was broken. You took the time away to reflect, and you saw neither one of you were in the wrong.”

“I overreacted.” Dean says, rubbing his eyes to push the sleep away.

“You did, and there’s nothing wrong with it. She’s the most understanding girl I think, I’ve ever met. I’m sure she’ll forgive you Dean.”

“You remember that witch case?” Dean asked.

“The one where you were changed into a wolf?”

Dean nodded. “Remember you asked why a wolf?”

Sam nodded.

“It’s because of her. Somehow, some part of me knew she was a wolf. She’s my soulmate.”

“Your soulmate? So, changing what spell did that witch use on you anyway?”

“She kept saying something about me walking around this world lost and alone. She said the spell would turn me into the spirit of my soulmate.”

“Wolf, because she’s part wolf.”

Dean nods.

She stirs with a groan pulling the boys attention away from their story to her.

“Sam, did you ever look into her healing process, is it different to us?”

“It is, she heals faster. But her wounds were infected. I gave her, her a shot to help her body fight the infection. Her color is coming back, she’s looking better.”

“She does.” Dean agrees, letting out a yawn.

“Dude, get some sleep.”

“I’m fine Sammy.”

Sam rolls his eyes as he exited his brother’s room.

 She woke up to the familiar scent of the Winchester’s, but the scent of one of the brothers was stronger than the other.

Dean.

She woke up in his room. Feeling a weight on her hip, she sits up slightly seeing him use her hip as a pillow. And he was sound asleep.

His arms looked as if they were trying to hold her as best as he could from where he sat.

She tried to sit up more, but a sharp pain stopped her. She winces.

“You might want to stay in bed, you were banged up pretty bad.” She heard Sam say in Dean’s dark room.

“Wait, what? How?” she asked, trying to understand. Remember.

“We were hunting werewolves, when one death of a victim took us to where you were.”

“Did you guys?”

“Oh, hell no. That fucker was way too big. I don’t think one flare would kill it.”

“You didn’t try?” she asked.

“No, we were more worried about you. You were in pretty rough shape.”

Dean stirred, snuggling closer to her, rubbing his head into her hip.

She ran her hand through his short strands of his hair.

“He was really worried about you, believe it or not.”

“I could feel it.”

“I guess that’s the soulmate thing.”

“What?”

“You remember that witch case, when Dean was a wolf?”

She nods.

“The spell used; Dean says the witch used a spell to turn him into the spirit of his soulmate. And he turned into a wolf.”

“That’s a thing?”

“I guess.” Sam shrugs.

In his sleep, Dean let out a big yawn. Almost pulling him out of his deep slumber.

“Dean.” She says.

“hmm.” He says sleepily, not opening his eyes.

“Come to bed.”

With his eyes still closed, he works at pulling off his boots, taking off his flannel, shirt, and pants. Leaving his boxer briefs on. He pulls the covers off of her, and snuggles in close to her, wrapping an arm around her middle. And snuggling his head into the crook of her neck.

“At least he’s a sleep.”

“I know, like I said, I felt it. I could feel that he was going to wake up sore if he was gonna stay like that.”

“You two make thee most cutest couple, I’m just admitting that right now.”

“Did I just hear Sam Winchester refer to us as cute?” she smirked playfully.

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. It’s just good seeing him happy again.”

“I know, I—”

“I know you could feel it, I’m heading to bed now darlin’, good night.”

“Night Sammy.” She yawned, letting the older Winchester snuggle more into her. “Night Dean, I love you.”

She woke up feeling a hand play with her hair, petting through her long strands atop her head.

She hums, snuggling into the hand. Hearing him chuckle. And felt warm plump limps kiss her forehead briefly.

She opens her eyes to a pair of beautiful green ones. ��Hi.” She says softly.

“Hi, sleep good?” Dean asked.

“Better than I had in years.”

“I bet,” he says, giving her another peck on her head. “I called Garth, I’m having him get your things and we’re moving you back in with us.”

“I take it I’m welcome back?” she asked carefully.

“You are welcome back, soulmate.” He says snuggling back into her making her giggle.

“Are all caught up now?”

“I think we are.” Dean admits. “Can I ask you something?”

“Hm?”

“Never again, no more secrets, no more mistrust. Never leave me again.”

“I don’t plan on it Winchester.”

Their lips crash into one another in a passionate, much needed kiss.

~

Tags:

@pandazombie69​, @luci-in-trenchcoats​, @supernatural-jackles​, @becs-bunker​, @mlovesstories​, @winchesters-favorite-girl​, @jayankles​, @jeaniespiehs20​

~

Copying and reposting someone else’s content is plagiarism and illegal. This work is property of supernaturallyobsessedchic. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher. An electronic reference link to the original posted work may be provided for purposes of promotion or assistance of publication by the readers discretion, if proper credits are given to the author in the re-post. 3/8/2021

[67impalaandwhisky]

Destiny Is Heaven Sent

Summary: Knowing Dean Winchester since you were fifteen, you’ve always been pulled in his direction. Always wanting to open up the rattled and broken cage your heart lives in. But when the child you’ve been raising together dies, you find yourself closing up the cage of your heart again. And if destiny has one thing for you, it’s to break you down before bringing you back up.

Characters: Dean x You, Sam, Castiel, Bobby, OFC’s, OMC’s, (Ongoing)

This Series Is Set Through Seasons 1-6 With Knowledge That The Bunker Exists

Rating: 18+

Warnings (Ongoing and Will Be Updated): Grieving, Mentions of Rape and Defilement (As Per A Case), Show Level Violence, Swearing, Smut, Impreg Kink, Blood, Fighting, Drinking, Dean Being Dean, Fluff, Angst, Dom!Dean, Sub!Reader

Warnings For This Chapter: Sexual Dreams, Mentions of Pregnancy Kink, 

Chapter 4.

"I'll take the couch." You grumble as all of you step into the motel room.

Dean takes off his shirt, his eyelids drooping with sleepy intentions as he throws himself onto his bed.

"Come lay down beside me." He mutters as he lays his head down on the pillow. He pats the spot beside him as he pulls back the covers.

Sam makes it a point to scurry off into the bathroom and you sigh gently.

Laying in bed with Dean last night was kind of amazing. You didn't have a single nightmare, which is rare these days after Marsh's death. And, you didn't wake up a single time during the night. Even when you drink heavily, you still find yourself waking up every so often during the late hours of the evening.

"Fine. Just don't touch me." You reply as you take off your combat boots.

"No promises, Candy girl." He mumbles as he closes his eyes.

Laying down beside you, he cages you against his chest throwing his arm over you as well as his leg. He lets out a tired chuckle but the comfort you feel is too great to tell him to get off. 

In your lifetime with your two best friends by your side, you have gone on countless Djinn hunts together. 

Comes with the territory of monster hunting.

Both you and Dean have been poisoned by a Djinn once or twice and even with the antidote around, those dreams can stick with you until you die.

Waking up from that dream-like state when you were twenty was disorienting and frightening. You didn't know what was real, what was fake. You cried for days on end when your life was dramatically different then what was pictured. 

Now, when you do see those dreams again you adore them. You welcome them in your sleeping trance. Because in that dream, everything is perfect and so real enough that you don't look at the oddities.

Dean's Djinn dream was just as real, just as frightening at first and just as welcome in his sleep quite like yours.

"Marshall Maverick Winchester. Get that gun away from your brother at the dinner table please." You chide your oldest adopted son.

Turning his head toward you, Dean finds himself smiling. Placing a gentle kiss at your temple, he waltzes around you grabbing the dinner you've both prepared in the presence of your two sons. 

"I wanna play!" Dean hears the youngest whine and he glances over at you as you flinch at the sharpness of his voice.

"Johnny Boy. Come on. Mommy doesn't feel good, stop yelling." Dean says as he places his hand on your growing stomach.

"But...But…" John whines as he holds his small hands up.

"No buts." Your husband cuts him off as he puts the burgers down on the table.

With a smile, you turn to your children with pie in hand. You were not as astonished as you should have been that they take after your husband with their favorite dessert choice. 

"Is it lemon blueberry mommy?" John asks as he pulls his plate closer to his four year old body.

"Yes it is." You whisper playfully earning a warm smile from Dean. 

As Dean begins to serve the food, Sam and Cas walk in with black sludge all over them.

"Oh good. Dinner." Sam cheers as he steps closer to the table.

"Nuh-uh. You better go wash up before you sit down at this table." You admonish your best friend as he frowns.

"But I don't eat." Cas counters as he takes off his mucky trenchcoat. 

"Go shower before my pregnant wife smites you." Dean's voice booms through the dining room.

John and Marsh laugh with each other as Cas hangs his head before retreating to his room.

With a groan, you finally sit down at the table. 

"Let me guess, your feet are swollen." Dean guesses as he sits down beside you at the head of the table. 

"Bingo." You mumble as he puts a burger on your plate.

"I'll rub your feet later when we get ready for bed." He whispers in your ear, pulling back he sends you a devastating wink.

The smile you return is equally as heart shaking to him. His breath stutters and his heart rate picks up as he smiles back at you.

"Ma. He's going for pie." Marsh tells you as John leans across the table.

You fold your arms, eyebrow quipped upward as he gives a nervous giggle. 

"Tattletale." He mumbles to his older brother before pulling at the pendant around his neck. 

As John has been getting older, the necklace he's had on since birth has been getting tighter and tighter by the month.

His small hands go to take it off and his father is stopping him within a second.

"Don't you dare take this off, son. We've talked about this." Dean admonishes as John looks down at his plate.

"But it's tight and I feel stuffy." He mumbles as he picks up a french fry.

Marsh takes his larger necklace off before swapping and wrapping John's around his wrist twice before clasping it in place.

"We need to keep these on until we're old enough to get tattoos like mom, dad and Uncle Sammy." Marsh tells his younger brother as he grabs the ketchup.

It was heartwarming to watch, knowing that Marsh was just like Dean with John as he is with Sammy. He would always protect his younger brother no matter what. 

It almost brings a tear to his father's eye as he picks up his bottle of beer.

"Why do you wear it?" Marsh inquires to his brother as he puts ketchup on his burger.

"So demons can't get me." John whispers. 

The youngest only whispers about monsters in the night, as if speaking loudly will summon them to him.

"That's right. But when we're home, you don't have to be scared. Nothing is going to get you." Dean says before sipping his beer.

John nods before looking down at the pendant in his hand as he munches on his french fry.

"Leila in school says she has a crush on me." John says happily, forgetting the whole necklace debacle within seconds.

Dean's eyebrows flick upwards as he leans his elbows on the table.

"Oh yeah? Isn't it a little early to be dating in preschool?" Your husband jeers at your youngest as you giggle.

Your hand lands on your stomach, rubbing comforting circles which catches his attention immediately.

He looks over, a sweet smirk spreading on his face as he rubs your seven months and growing stomach.

"I'm four, dad. Practically grown up." You hum to him before grabbing your iced tea.

"You look just like your father so it's hard not to get all the girls, huh?" You tease as he smiles down to his burger.

John did look like the spitting image of your husband. From freckles to wildy enchanting green eyes, he was so alike.

"Will you tell us how you met again?" Marsh asks as he takes out his phone.

"No phones at dinner." Sam says as he enters the room.

Marsh looks up before rolling his eyes and putting his phone back in the front pocket of his jeans.

"What monster did you kill today?" John asks excitedly as Sam sits down.

Shaking his long hair out of his face, he looks over at both of his parents who refuse to meet his eyes.

"No monster talk at dinner." Sam says and your almost unrecognizable nod lets him know he's right.

John and Marsh frown as Cas comes in to join you all.

"It was a ghoul." Sam whispers as he leans over his plate towards the kids.

You look at Dean, a laugh shared between you both as you both roll your eyes.

Laying down in bed, you let out a gentle sigh as the bed comforts and molds to your body.

"Well now. Look what I have here all to myself. My two favorite girls." Dean says as he closes the bedroom door behind him.

You give a gentle laugh pushing yourself up the pillows as he stalks over.

"Not like you to forget Baby." You say, tilting your head as he pulls his t-shirt off.

"Just don't tell her. She'll get jealous." He teases as he takes off his pants.

Your eyes roam over his body before smiling wider. 

When it comes to your husband, exhaustion was not a word that seemed to fit into your vocabulary. He was like a freshly brewed pot of coffee, deep, rich and awakening. 

"My lips are sealed." You reply as he kneels on the bed. 

With a chuckle, he parts your legs. Running his warm, calloused hands over your bare skin, his lips graze over your bare belly. 

You can feel the stubble on his face, the short hairs tickling you as he gives languid kisses to the distended skin.

"De." You whisper in the dim lighting of the room.

He gives a gentle groan at your voice, hearing how you're becoming aroused and sluggish with lust.

"That's it, sweetheart. Focus on how I'm making you feel. How you want daddy's big cock to split you right open." His breath fans over your stomach as he talks to you, producing goosebumps on your now feverish skin.

"I want you so badly." You whine as he pulls down your bra. Your breasts heaving up at the action.

"God, you're so fucking sexy. So fucking mine." He growls out as he kisses over your chest.

"Pretty tits filling up with milk for my baby. Mine." His lips encircle your hard nipple, tongue flicking over the pointed bud earning a sweet moan from you.

His hand reaches for your clothed pussy, dying to feel how wet you already a-

"Dean." 

"Hey! Dean!" Shooting up in bed, he looks to the owner of the voice as his eyes widen.

"Hey man…" Sam whispers as he stands above his older brother.

"Dammit Sammy. Couldn't you have given me five more minutes? I was experiencing something great." He mumbles as he grabs the cup of coffee from the younger man's hand.

"Busty girl dreams again? You were moaning." Sam says with a laugh as he walks over to the small table.

Dean clicks his teeth as he looks over the room. He notices how the sun is already rising high in the sky before looking down at you. Your hair is splayed over your face as you take deep shallow breaths.

Was there anything more perfect than his dream? Anything more wonderful than that? You, his wife, his life partner. Pregnant and barefoot in his bunker with other little ones running around. Marsh would still be alive.

Running a rough hand over his face, he sips his coffee before sighing.

As you turn onto your back, he takes in your form. 

With your tank top rolled up to your breasts, he sucks in a deep breath before tugging down the shirt. God, you were too skinny now that he's looking at you. Why couldn't you just be pregnant like in his dream? Why did destiny have to fuck him like this?

"God fucking dammit." He mumbles as he wakes up.

"You okay?" Sam asks curiously. 

"Peachy." Dean grunts out as he walks to the bathroom.

The slam of the door makes his younger brother jump and you stir from your sleep at the noise. The thin walls shake and tremor with the force of Dean's action and you sit up with squinted eyes.

"Morning." You whisper as you begin to stretch.

"Mornin'." Sam says as his eyes flicker to the bathroom.

"He okay?" You ask as you pull the covers closer to your body.

Sam gives the typical shrug as he sips his coffee before running his hands through his hair.

"Is Dean ever really okay?" He quips as you lay back down.

Now that is a question for the ages.

The morning had gone off without an ounce of weirdness which was odd to you considering how upset Dean was earlier.

He's so good at shoving things down inside of him until he explodes. It's scary sometimes.

"Come on out, Candy girl." Dean calls through the velvet curtain as you try to pull at any piece of fabric that's on your body. 

You feel absolutely helpless. The tube dress you're wearing is so infinitely small, you're afraid one cough from yourself will send the fabric into a revealing position.

"It barely covers my ass!" You whine as you fix your hair in the mirror.

"You have a nice ass." Dean comments calmly.

There it is again. The short and somehow completely honest answer from your best friend. He doesn't flirt with you like he does with others because maybe he doesn't have to. He's so himself with you.

Tugging the dress up, the bottom reveals your black thong and you groan gently before pulling it back down.

"No laughing!" You cry out before taking a deep breath. 

Just the thought of your older best friend seeing you like this sends your mind reeling. 

Pushing back the velvet curtain, Sam looks up from his phone before snorting and covering his mouth with his hand.

"Yes. Ha. Ha. Very funny." You grumble as you put your hands protectively over your body as if that would help.

Glancing at Dean, he doesn't show an ounce of hilarity in the situation. He swallows thickly as his eyes trail over your body.

"You look like a sausage in a casing." Sam says before throwing his head back and laughing.

You snort before turning around to the mirror again.

The black fabric hugs your body tightly, showing your flat stomach and your ample breasts.

It's uncomfortable to be in but your thighs press together as you watch Dean through the mirror.

Licking his lips slowly, his eyes stare at your ass. Your stomach coils and flips as his evergreen eyes begin to harden over.

"Dean. What do you think?" Sam asks through his laughs.

Dean doesn't dignify him with an answer. Your eyes trail over his body, taking in the flannel beneath his jacket before looking to his pants.

His pants are strained and tented and you avert your eyes quickly in the mirror as you think about yesterday morning.

Is it hot in here?

"Dean?" Sam asks as he calms his laughter.

Pressing your thighs tighter together, the muscles of your ass become taut and flex. The oldest brother does everything in his power to rip his eyes away before turning to Sam.

"You look fine. Buy it and let's go." He mumbles as he sits down.

It's when you bend over to grab your stuff that he lolls his head back.

Do you know how fucking sexy you are? Do you have any idea just how goddamn attractive you can be?

Upon bending over he sees your thong and the outline of your pussy lips. His hand flies over Sam's eyes as you gather your stuff.

"Dude." His younger brother mumbles.

"Close the curtain, you idiot." Dean chides you and you gasp gently realizing what you've done.

Fiercely pulling the curtain closed, you can feel your ears and neck heating up to a healthy shade of red.

"I'm going to wait in the car." Dean calls out before storming off.

Sam tilts his head before rolling his eyes.

"Just fuck already." He mumbles under his breath before pulling his phone back out.

Dean stands beneath the shower head, letting the hot water soothe his taut muscles. His forehead presses to the chilly aqua tiles of the motel bathroom

God, you're probably out there in the room putting on that small dress right now. 

It's astounding how hard he actually has to try to keep his hands off of you. Would you even want him to touch you?

Yesterday morning, he saw you checking him out. Peeking an eye open, he saw how breathless you were as your eyes roamed his body.

It's been drilled in his head ever since he was younger-- his father always wanted you both to be together. It's always been Dean's 'destiny' to have you as his own. And, that's exactly why he can't do it.

He's always listened to John. Always done as told and for once, he didn't want to abide. 

Dean always thought that if he denied himself the pleasure of your company, he could stop a lot of heartache and pain on his end. But, now the heartache is starting to come from having you so far away from him.

He loved you from the minute he saw you. From the minute you met each other in that dingy motel on Christmas Eve. 

He loved you when you were dating Michael Bracken during a random highschool stint in Wisconsin. 

He always loved you. And, he always denied you.

Smacking his forehead into the wall, he sighs gently. 

Maybe destiny is something you just can't run from. God knows that every path him and Sam have ever taken somehow and in some way lead back to the same spot they were standing years ago.

"De?" Your voice breaks him out of his deep thoughts.

"Yeah." He calls back as he shuts off the shower.

"We have to get going soon." You tell him as he grabs his towel.

"Yeah. I'm coming, Princess." The pet name tumbles out of his mouth and he closes his eyes as he wraps the towel around his waist.

You rip the door open and peek your head in before narrowing your eyes at him.

"You know I hate that." You mumble to him as the steam wafts through the open door.

You've hated it since high school. He used to call you Princess when he warded off boys in the cramped hallways. You always found it embarrassing. 

Dean gives you a smile as he steps out of the shower, "Come on. You used to love the way I protected you." 

Rolling your eyes, you stand up straighter as you lean against the door jamb, "No. You used to love the way you protected me. I didn't need protecting." 

He chuckles as he wipes off the bathroom mirror. 

"I'll always protect you, whether you need it or not." He says and you hum in agreement before leaving him alone.

"Always." He mumbles before looking through the mirror as you walk away.

Forever Dean Tags: @akshi8278​

[spnreactions]

15x15: Gimme Shelter

Alright guys! It’s time! 

Just a heads up, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, these posts usually come out later in the day, because even if I watch it live, I tend to do my reactions live, but then write up the full review later. In case you were wondering why the posts don’t usually come right away. 

Anyways! Let’s get down to it! 

Oof. Yep. We’re definitely on the serious track now, with a then like this. 

Also, I didn’t say this before, but I really love the “then” and “now” openings for this season. It’s beautiful with the Impala like that. <3 

Oof. Interesting flashback to Jack breaking out of the Ma’lak Box. 

...ew. Maybe it doesn’t taste as gross as it looks, but it looks gross. 

Jesus girls, chill. 

Okay, I already like the pastor. 

I’m watching live this week, and I’m in a FB group that’s commenting as we watch, and someone just pointed out that the pastor is Dr. Sexy MD!! Man I love when actors return like that. 

Ope. Connor’s gonna die. Poor kid. He seemed nice. 

...that teddy bear definitely wasn’t there when he was walking over before, but okay. 

UMMMMM...TALKING TEDDY!

NO THANK YOU!!! 

I HAVE A DOLL THING!!! NOT COOL!!! 

Hmmm...gotta be honest, I’m not sure how I’m feeling about Cohen’s directing on this one. :/

It had a talking teddy bear. I bet it is. 

Darkness. Nice pun. 

“He’s not that funny.” XD XD 

Dean you just want to go to Atlantic City whether Amara’s there or not don’t even deny it. XD 

Cas’s confused face will always be one of the cutest things ever. <3 

I love the way they’re all walking down the hallway together. It’s such a simple thing, but I like the way they’re positioned and everything. Point: Matt Cohen. 

SCENE FROM THE PROMO! 

Sure they can. 

“She and I used to have a thing” DEAN!! XD XD 

HIIIII JACK!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

Dude, let me tell you, I am so ready for some quality Cas and Jack content. 

I love all the different reactions here. Dean is trying to get Cas and Jack out of the house, which Jack is super excited about, and Cas is very not into. XD 

...wait, did they not tell him about Mrs. Butters? Or did they just not mention her name? 

Cas looking at Sam like “help me out here” and Sam being like “sorry but no”. XD 

Oh come on Cas. Look how excited Jack is! I love how enthusiastic he gets over every hunt. It’s adorable and I love him. (Yeah you’re gonna be hearing that a lot. XD)

Cas is like “you’re kidding me right?” 

“Highway to Heaven” XD XD 

THE SCENE!!

MY BABY IS SO EXCITED I LOVE HIS LITTLE SMILE AHHHH!!!! 

No matter how Cas is against going to deal with something so small fry when they’re in the middle of something so huge, he will still smile affectionately at his son, because he loves him. <3 <3 <3 

“Blue’s a good color on you.” XD XD <3 <3 

“Agent Swift.” XD XD XD XD 

“Agent Lovato.” I’M DEAD THESE TWO ARE THE BEST!!! XD XD XD XD

HE’S HOLDING HIS BADGE UPSIDE DOWN JUST LIKE CAS DID ON HIS FIRST HUNT I’M DEAD!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

A BABY YODA REFERENCE?! This show oh my god. XD XD XD 

“I just graduated from CSI.” JACK OH MY GOD YOU ADORABLE LITTLE BEAN!!! XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

Okay, I love watching Cas and Jack together, and I love watching them go on a hunt, but guys, could you at least TRY to be subtle? “Did you find tiny bags with chicken bones? Smell any sulfur? Feel cold?” Like, NO you two. XD XD 

The cop lady is just like “what the heck is wrong with these two?”

Oh. “Liar” isn’t a seven deadly sin thing. Maybe I was wrong about that. 

“For my stepson, Ronald.” JACK!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 I love him so much oh my god. 

For someone who’s new to hunting, that was actually an awesome cover. <3 <3 

Wait...speakers? Maybe it isn’t something supernatural after all? 

“Almost demonic.” Okay so that was a little more subtle. 

Okay Cohen, I take back what I said about your directing. That was a good shot of the stop sign. 

I love the way Jack’s sitting in the back of the truck. <3 <3 

Learning from Sam. <3 <3 <3 

Cas, there is no such thing as too many cats. His face when he says that though. XD 

THAT ENTIRE SEQUENCE ABOUT PARENT/GUARDIAN PERMISSION I’M DYING HOLY FRICK!!! XD XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

That was both the cutest and funniest thing ever and I just...I LOVE THEM AHHHH!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 

I feel like Cas is upset though. Like, he’s extra frustrated with the whole Amara and God thing. Not that I blame him of course. He’s just got a certain...coldness to him in this episode. But I like how it disappears whenever he’s talking to Jack. <3 <3 Good acting on Misha’s part. 

For example, that little soft smile when he looks over at Jack logging in to the social media account is so sweet and so cute and so undeniably fatherly. <3 <3 

Okay, gotta be honest: British demon? Totally hot. 

"Why is he talking like that?” he whispers, very loudly in a way that the party he is speaking of can definitely hear him. XD XD <3 <3 

“Because Zack has style.” 

WAIT!!! 

He’s not ACTUALLY British??!! 

Oh my god that shouldn’t have made me laugh, but it TOTALLY did. 

AND he made the “Highway to Heaven” reference just like Dean did! 

I love this demon holy frick. XD XD 

Cas’s and Jack’s confused expressions at his sudden change. XD 

“I would watch that show.” XD XD 

How this show manages to introduce a new character, however brief, and give him so much personality when we’re six episodes from the end is beyond my understanding, but man, it is one of the many reasons I love this show. <3 

Ha! “Demons are get, humans are just crazy” ring a bell? 

Ha! Of course Rowena has that philosophy. God I miss her. 

“You’re a deviant soul corrupted by Hell.” Ah, Cas, ever quick with the logical wit. XD 

Cas’s “and we’re done”. XD 

Zack is so desperate. 

And now, Zack is all of us during COVID. XD 

I love Zack. Take him with you. XD <3 

Oof. Too true, Cas. Too true. 

Awww...Jack. 

AWWW! Cas!!! Knowing his son wanted to be busy and help people. I LOVE THEM!!! 

THOSE SMILES AT EACH OTHER OH MY GOD SO CUTE!!! <3 <3 <3 

She’s gonna steal the money. 

Yep. Classy lady. *eye roll* 

Ope. And now she’s gonna die. 

AHHHH!! 

OKAY I TAKE THAT BACK!! BRING THE TEDDY BEAR BACK!! SCARY MASK IS WORSE!!! 

My mom and I both screamed jesus christ. 

“Focused.” Interesting phrasing, but okay. 

I like the way this phone call is happening. The back and forth is cool, and I like their easy talk with each other. 

Dean can’t just give straight advice. Ever. “Drink the Kool-Aid and sign up.” XD 

Oof. Jesus. 

Clearly Dean wasn’t talk about the Amara thing. 

Wait, this was over a two-day timeline? Huh. Okay then. 

Dean that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect you stop. 

“Messengers of God’s Destruction”. 

No, but did any of us? 

“Least this time it’s not you or me.” Yeah, yet. 

That look Sam gives him means he had the same thought I did. 

Okay sorry, I am super not religious, and the God speak makes me want to barf. 

HA! JACK! XD 

See, this is why you have to give straight advice, Dean. I know that’s hard for you, being your chaotic bi self and all, but angels tend to take things literally, bud. XD 

Jack you dork. XD <3 

Geez girl. Be nice. 

Jack whispering again to try to be sneaky I love him. <3 

So that’s a yes then. 

Jesus. She’s a b***h. I don’t like her. 

That little head nod OMG!! <3 <3 

I LOVE THE CAS AND JACK TEAM UP THEY’RE SO CUTE!! <3 <3 

Oh. That was a sweet hug. 

My Mom: It’s him. It’s the pastor. He’s the bad guy. 

Oh! Greed! So this is a seven deadly sins thing! 

Ummm....that’s a little weird. Maybe this is as monster after all, with the tech working like that? 

But if it was a monster, why is she set up like that? 

Okay no, I take that back. I watch Criminal Minds, and this totally looks like something a serial killer would do. Especially the timer thing. 

“The new guy’s hot.” MEEEEE. That girl is me. XD <3 <3 <3 

EVERY. SINGLE. THING. JACK. DOES. IS. SO. STINKING. ADORABLE. <3 <3 <3 <3 

Boyfriend and girlfriend, I’m guessing? 

Awww...baby. :( 

Awww...Jack. :( :( 

Okay but, like, we’ve learned now, right? Don’t give her your whole story please and thank you. 

Oh okay. That’s okay. 

This girl is...off. Is it the acting, or is the character actually weird? I honestly can’t tell. 

Oof. Daddy issues alert. 

“I have more dads than most.” AWWW!!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

Wait baby no, you’re not letting them down stop that. :( :( :( 

Ew. “Put your trust in God, not people.” Now I hate her. Trust me honey, the last person Jack--or anybody, for that matter--should be putting his faith in is God. 

Oh okay then. 

Ha! I love Cas’s subtle little sass with the “faith-based community”. 

Oh. A.V. and tech. TV screen. Bingo. 

Yeah I don’t think it’s the pastor. He seems too innocent. 

...except he’s definitely not getting any father-of-the-year awards. But what else is new with this show. 

“It’s complicated.” What are you talking about?? Just say yes, Cas. 

Awww...soft side of Cas. <3 

Yeah no. It’s not the pastor. There’s no way. It must be that Brother Rudy dude. 

Ha! Awkward. XD 

That’s actually really nice. I like that idea, having a church community (sorry--faith-based community) helping other people like that. It’s sweet. 

Oh. Connor was gay. That honestly totally makes sense. Poor guy. :( 

I’m glad the pastor was accepting of him though! <3 <3 

Awww...that’s a good line. “A saint is a sinner who keeps trying.” 

I really hope it’s not the pastor. I like him. 

My Mom: Wait, have we just never seen them put gas in the car before? I had no idea it was behind the license plate! 

I’m thinking back and I didn’t know that either, so this must be the first time we’ve actually seen them, like, open it, and that’s HILARIOUS to me. XD 

OOOOH WAIT!! This is where they see Amara, according to the promo photos!! 

Oh heeeey girl. 

Wow she looks really pretty with that snow in her hair. 

She...she...smelled them? 

“You have a very distinctive musk.” “Thank you.” ARE THESE TWO STILL PINING FOR EACH OTHER? XD XD XD 

I like this Amara. She’s fun. 

My family and I always make kielbasa with our pierogis (I had no idea that that was how that was spelled, btw), so pierogis without the kielbasa feels wrong. XD 

Jensen’s facial expressions say so much all the time and I love it. XD 

Oh boy. 

NOOOOOO!

WHAT IS IT WITH SUPERNATURAL AND FINGERS ON THIS SHOW JESUS!!

Okay, WHO is the timer for?? Like, is it just some form of slow torture?? Because it’s not like it’s being shown to anyone other than her. 

Ooh. I like that he’s listing off all of the different names for God. Good pastor. Please don’t be a bad guy. 

HIS FAMOUS “hello” OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUUUUUUUUCH!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 

...oof. Ummm....

Awww.... Poor baby. :( :( :( 

AWWW!! Dad Cas to the rescue!! <3 <3 <3 

Jack looking at his dad omg. <3 <3 

I already like this speech from Cas. I can tell it’s gonna be good. 

“I guess I found a family.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

JACK’S LITTLE SMILE!!! 

“And I became a father.” THERE IT IS!!! THERE. IT. IS!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

THE WAY JACK LOOKS AT HIM AFTER HE SAYS THAT AHHHH!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

AWWWW!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

GOOD SPEECH CAS!!! GOOD SPEECH!!! WAY TO MAKE YOUR SON FEEL BETTER!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 

Awww...I really like this pastor. <3 

FRIIIICK. 

Oh sh**. There’s the time for everyone else. 

JESUS!!!

Yeah okay. This is 100% a human being’s doing. A monster wouldn’t bother. 

Jack running over to turn it off right away. Ever the hero. <3 <3 

The pastor seemed too surprised to have done it, which, for me, puts pastor in the clear. Thank goodness. 

True, but also he sucks, so help us out Amara. 

Okay, I’m sorry, but quick side note. Everyone keeps saying he’s “very nearly done”, but when Dean looked in the telescope, he didn’t see anything. I thought that meant he was done. Unless it only reaches so far? I guess it probably only reaches so far in terms of other dimensions. 

Sure there is. 

“Our pal Jack.” That’s such a weird thing to hear him say, but okay. XD 

Also I’m not sure how I feel about them telling Amara about Jack. Like, I like her, and I feel like she’s gonna help, but what if she doesn’t? She could, whether intentionally or unintentionally, wind up seeing Chuck and mentioning Jack to him, and if she does, that ruins the whole plan. But, on the other hand, I guess they have to earn her trust, and keeping details from her would definitely make that harder. But I still don’t like it. It puts my baby in danger. Again. But anyways. 

Oh. Just like that? 

“I get he’s your brother” Dean says oh so casually, as if he hasn’t literally moved heaven and hell to protect and save his own brother. 

“Squirrely weirdo” XD XD 

Oh. The Big Bang. New theory. I like it. XD 

Sure he can. 

Ummm...yeah, Amara. You’re a fool. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Maybe he cares about you a little, but definitely not as much as you’re giving him credit for. Not right now anyways. 

Wait...she actually said no? No way. I thought they were gonna be able to convince her. Guess my initial theory was wrong... What does that mean though? Like...what now? 

Jack’s gonna come slamming through that door, according to the promo. 

Called it! 

Wait...why did Jack slam through it while Cas is just...casually standing there? You’re an angel, Castiel. XD 

“Lust” It is based on “Seven”! I love it! 

Welp...guess it’s not him. 

Wait, so we are walking away with a no? That never happens to us! 

THERE we go. Go get her Dean. 

Is it just me, or has Sam been, like, really not involved this episode?? Jared’s had, like, six lines. XD 

OH! Okay, the “then” makes sense now. 

Oof. You tell her, Dean. 

That she sucks. That’s what she wanted. Because she does. 

Wait NO WAY! That’s what I said! Kind of, anyways. 

Woooow. That’s actually pretty messed up, Amara. But it makes sense for why Mary was such a terrible character and why I hated her so much. She is only human. A sucky human, too. 

Is it, though? 

“That you could finally start to accept your life.” Okay, that’s actually kind of cool, and that’s awesome on the writers’ part for adding in that explanation of why everything went the way it did. Nice. 

But also, that’s pretty messed up Amara. 

Oooh. We’re about to get some awesome Jensen acting, aren’t we? 

Jensen’s trying not to cry face is so incredible wow. 

Awww....poor Dean. 

Jesus Amara. A little sympathy? 

OOF. I love that quiet fury that Dean has. 

OOH! He got her! 

YES DEAN!!! TELL HER! 

“Well now who’s living in a dreamworld?” ...ouch. But true. 

...oh boy. That was a bold-faced lie. But so brilliantly told, Dean. 

After ALL THAT, you’re going to THINK ABOUT IT? Really??!! 

But hey! I KNEW IT!! BEAUTIIFUL acting moment on Jensen’s part!! AWESOME scene. <3 <3 <3 <3 

Oh! It’s the girl. I’m calling it. 

Yep. Daughter. 

I KNEW SHE WAS BEING WEIRD! 

See?! Super religious people are crazy!! 

Go Cas and Jack go! 

Ope. Cas is gonna heal, and Jack is gonna attack. Go boys go! 

Cas is gonna heal in front of all those people oof. 

Girl has ISSUES. 

Wow, this girl is WAAAAY too religious. Chill. 

Yeah, cause you need help. 

HEY!!! NOT COOL SYLVIA!!! 

Oof. Yeah nice try, but that’s not gonna work. 

I love how Jack just takes it and then heals all bada** like “yeah sorry but no”, but then he still looks up with the kindest and most innocent expression and I love it. <3 

Meanwhile Cas is like “yeah I’m not having any of this.” XD XD 

Does...does he always have to say sleep when he does it? Cause he didn’t used to, and for some reason, that was hilarious. XD 

Jack’s little nod. So cute. <3 <3 

Fixed her fingers, but couldn’t wash the blood off. XD 

Yeah ummm...how you gonna explain that one, Cas? 

At least pastor dude seems nice. And, like, being the good kind of religious, he’ll probably be totally cool with the angel thing. 

Wait, pastor dude is still processing this when morning hits? Okay then. 

“Not a very good one.” WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! You are literally the BEST angel, thank you very much. 

Man that girl is MESSED UP. 

And Jack still feels sorry for her, my baby. :( <3 <3 

Ah. Nothing like your daughter becoming a murderer for you to finally step into a proper role of fatherhood. 

WAIT A SECOND! IT’S ZACK!! 

Dude waaait. What does that mean?? That’s, like, a really random thing. Does that mean she’s gonna come back? Or that Zack is gonna come back? I’m not sure what that means. That seems so random! I DEMAND ANSWERS SUPERNATURAL! 

The way Cas looks at Jack after the pastor says that about looking after her better. Cas I don’t know what you’re thinking, but you’re the best father Jack could’ve asked for, okay? 

Awww! Cas and Jack talk time!! <3 <3 

Cas is trying so hard to help him I love him. <3 

NO YOU DON’T STOP!! THIS IS WHAT FAMILY IS FOR!! WHHHHYYY are all you Winchesters like this. 

Wait. WAIT! He was hiding something?! I hate it when Sam’s right. 

Wait WHAT?! 

HOLD ON!!! 

NOOOOO NO NO NO NO NO!!! NO! JACK NO!!! That is NOT ALLOWED!!! 

HOLD ON A SECOND!!! NO!!! THAT IS NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING WTF??!!! 

Wait wait wait. A bomb?? Like, just like S11?? Because no. No no no. We’re not doing this again. JACK YOU ARE NOT GONNA DIE WTF??!! 

THIS THROWS ALL OF MY THEORIES OUT THE WINDOW NOOOO!!! IT CAN’T BE JACK!!! I REFUSE!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( 

WE JUST GOT YOU BACK!!! WE CAN’T LOSE YOU AGAIN!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

Cas’s face is all of my emotional screeching right now. 

WHAT DO YOU MEAN “Don’t tell Sam and Dean.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME JACK??!! THESE ARE YOUR DADS!! THEY NEED TO KNOW!!! YOU CAN’T DO THIS!!! CAS WON’T LET YOU!!! 

JACK NOOOO!!! STOP IT WITH ALL OF YOUR GUILT! GOD you’re such a Winchester!! NO!! DEAN BAKED YOU A DANG BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! YOU DON’T NEED TO DIE FOR HIM TO FORGIVE YOU!!! 

I’M HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME TYPING RIGHT NOW WTF IS THIS SCENE??!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( 

Me too, Cas!!! 

SEE JACK??!! YOU CAN’T!! 

NO! WHAT IS THAT?! 

NO!! STOP IT!!! STOP IT YOU STUPID IDIOT NO!!! YOU CANNOT SACRIFICE YOURSELF LIKE THIS!!! THEY WON’T LET YOU!!! 

Cas tell Sam and Dean. Please.

Oh WAIT! We have, like, two minutes left craaap. This is the scene from the promo. Cas is gonna say Sam and Dean need to know something and then it’s gonna end. I’m calling it right now. 

YES CAS!! GO CAS GO!! SAVE YOUR SON!!! 

Yep. Here it is. It’s gonna cut off. 

GODDA**IT!! I HATE IT WHEN I’M RIGHT!!! 

WHY YOU GOTTA DO ME LIKE THAT SUPERNATURAL??!! You can’t just...DROP A BOMB like that and then NOT RESOLVE IT GOD DA**IT!! SCREW YOU WRITERS!!! 

AHHHHH!!! I NEED NEXT WEEK RIGHT NOW!!! AHHHHH!!! THIS IS SO NOT OKAY!!!! 

If I deny it ever happened, then it didn’t happen, right? Jack and Cas solved the case, Sam and Dean got Amara’s help, and they all went home and had family dinner, okay? New ending. There we go. Problem solved. Because NO! 

Well...f**k. I guess it’s review time?? But JESUS CHRIST!!! Okay, okay, I need a minute. Please hold. 

(Several Hours Later)

Okay. I’m back. Let me start with something kind of amusing. Several minutes after the episode ended, while I was still trying to process everything, this interaction happened: 

Me, breathing heavily and dying inside: Mom, you do not seem as distressed about this as I am. 

My Mom: I am never as distressed as you are about anything in this show. It’s impossible for me to reach that level of distress. I don’t know how you do it. 

So...if you didn’t already realize how emotionally connected to this show I am, now you do. XD 

That said, let’s get down to it. 

God, there is soooo much to unpack with that episode, and even crazier, it honestly all comes from that last five minutes. Let me start with this: 

I really enjoyed this episode! It can’t quite beat last week’s episode--but, honestly, I don’t know if any of the other episodes will be able to, except for maybe the finale--but it was good! I had a few qualms about Matt Cohen’s directing, but he definitely had some strong moments, so it wasn’t bad. And, admittedly, at first, I felt like the pacing of the episode was kind of slow, and switching back and forth between the Winchesters and Cas and Jack felt kind of choppy for a bit, but as the episode played out, I realized why. This was a full-on set-up episode. While last week gave us a chance to be silly with the boys and see some beautiful family bonding, this was the one that set us up for what’s sure to be heavy and plot-filled coming up. (And yes, I know next week’s episode is much more of a monster-of-the-week, but 15x17 is when things will likely really get down to it, so I’m sure there’ll still be some important plot stuff next week--especially since we need a resolution to the Cas and Dean talk). Between the boys having to find and trick Amara, and Cas and Jack bonding and working with each other again, plus that big reveal at the end, it’s setting up the next string of episodes to be fast-paced and intense as they finally start to take on God. 

With that said, I really loved being able to see Jack and Cas together again. It’s been so long since we’ve seen them really spend time together and bond, and watching them play off each other and be father and son was adorable and hilarious. Plus, I just love Jack with every fiber of my being, so that makes everything better. XD <3 

I also really loved Dean’s interactions with Amara. I mentioned this already, but that scene, where he’s talking about Mary...that was some INCREDIBLE acting on Jensen’s part. He’s always been really good at that subtle rage, especially when it’s also filled with sadness, and this scene was no different. And I’m glad that they did finally get Amara on board; however, I’m a little concerned with what she’s going to do when she finds out he lied. Especially after how worried she seemed to be. AND SPEAKING OF LYING!!

THOSE LAST FIVE MINUTES! HOLY SHIT!! 

Okay, so I’ve had some time to think about this and talk it out with some people, so I’m just gonna roll with the thoughts as they go through my brain. First of all, that is a big no a thousand times over. Jack, you cannot die. Second of all, that reveal was very well done on the writer’s part. After such a nonchalant episode--in terms of pace, that is--to have that in the last five minutes, AND to end with that cliffhanger, was a beautiful way to keep us fans guessing, invested, and wanting more. But also, SCREW YOU! 

That said, as freaked out as I was--and honestly, I’m still pretty worried--I really don’t think Jack’s going to die. There’s no way. Initially, my theory left Cas and Jack standing at the end of all of this. After CW said that thing about one of the main characters not surviving to the end, I thought it was gonna be Dean, but I can also see how it could be both Sam and Dean. However, in any case, Cas and Jack, in my various theories, always end up on top. So Jack saying he’s going to die in order to kill Chuck and Amara TOTALLY threw me. BUT! After talking it through with someone else, I seriously doubt it’s going to happen. 

First of all, Cas is about to go look for another way, and, as we’ve seen in the past, they always find another way. After all, this is the Winchesters (and yes, Cas counts, obviously). 

Second of all, they’re telling us this five episodes before the end, but Jack is, supposedly, completing his final ritual in 15x17. That leaves three episodes of unaccounted time, and if Jack is really going to die to kill Chuck and Amara, there’s no way they can stretch that over three episodes. Therefore, his dads are bound to stop it. To FURTHER that, 15x17 has Jack and Dean heading out together to complete Jack’s final ritual while Sam and Cas stay behind, which means that, once Jack does whatever he’s supposed to do, Dean is bound to find out what Billie’s true intentions are, and I’m convinced that he’s not going to be okay with it. Because here’s the thing. Between Sam and Dean, Jack is the one that Dean still needs the most forgiveness from. And, kind of like what happened in Last Holiday, the second Dean realizes Jack is in actual danger, he’s not going to let anything happen to him. And I’m hoping that the resulting protectiveness will give Dean the chance to tell Jack that he does forgive him, which will hopefully release some of Jack’s guilt complex and give them the ability to find another way. 

THIRD of all, (and I mentioned this in my reactions), this whole “becoming the bomb to kill the cosmic entities” is an exact mirror of what Dean tried to do in S11, and we saw how that went. But the thing is, why would the writers play the exact same storyline again unless they were intending to parallel it and connect it to Jack and Dean’s relationship now? When Dean didn’t detonate in S11, he got his mom back, but then Jack killed her. Now, Jack is ready to detonate himself as a bomb because of having killed Mary, and Dean’s bound to stop him, especially after that conversation with Amara. Maybe this is all wishful thinking, but I really, sincerely feel like (and hope) that Jack isn’t going to make that sacrifice. Because, on top of all of that, while I love the family that is Team Free Will 2.0, this show still is, as it always has been, about Sam and Dean, and, as such, it should end with them too. So the odds of Jack being the “be all end all” without Sam and Dean’s help? Super slim. 

So, to sum that up, as worried as I am about my baby, I really really really think (and god I hope I’m right) that that’s not the way this story will end. There has to be more to it. 

With all of that addressed, let’s talk about WHATEVER it is that Cas is about to tell Dean. For me, there are two things it could be:

First, there’s the obvious answer based on the episode itself. Cas is about to tell Dean that Jack has to die in order to kill Chuck and Amara. However, I don’t think that’s it, because that seems too easy and unrealistic. If Cas tells Dean that now, then why would Dean take him to do his final ritual in 15x17 (I guess this is what happens when you read too much promotional material lol)? And even if he does, the next episode seems to be very Sam and Dean centric, and Cas dropping a bomb like that would not allow for a Sam and Dean centric episode, at least not when it’s putting their whole big mission in a different light. Plus, on top of all of that, that Cas and Jack conversation is an exact parallel of the conversation the two of them had about Cas making his deal with the Empty back in Season 14. Cas told Jack not to tell Sam and Dean, and Jack never did, even though his life is at risk. So Cas telling Sam and Dean about Jack now, knowing that Jack kept that secret for him, might break a certain level of trust between the two of them, and I don’t think Cas would do that. Which brings me to my second and, in my opinion, more likely theory. 

Cas is about to tell Dean about his deal with the Empty. While this would also be a huge bomb to drop in the middle of this big fight, and in the middle of all this chaos, it technically doesn’t directly correlate with their fight with Chuck. However, if something does happen to Cas, that’s something that Sam and Dean do need to know, because it’ll affect how they handle things and what they do, in a lot of ways. At the same time, I feel like, if Cas is gonna do a whole “go it alone” thing, it’s important that he tells them before he leaves, because there’s no telling what could happen, to any of them, when they’re not all together, and being as open as possible before separating like that tends to be a good idea. It seems like Cas might finally be learning. 

That said, I could be wrong all around. It could be neither of those things. It could be both of those things. Honestly, there’s no way to know for sure until we get to next week. However, after a crazy ending like that, I am definitely looking forward to seeing what Supernatural has in store for us next. 

My Rating: 8/10

[queen-of-the-avengers]

Haunted by the Past

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Clint Barton

Word Count: 1,777

Warnings: angst about killing a family member accidentally, nightmares

Summary: For 20 years, you’ve been haunted by the same nightmare over and over again. No one knows what it’s about until Buky finds you at the cemetery.

Squared Filled: Haunted by the Past // Nightmares // Family (U4)

Author’s Note: I know you guys have requests and I promise to get to them. I have two bingos I need to finish before the deadline in Aug/Sept and by the rate I am going, I will be done before that so please bear with me. This is for @star-spangled-bingo and @clintbartonbingo and @buckybarnesbingo  respectively and if you have any requests, please send them in! This is unbeta’d and any and all mistakes are all on me.

Feedback the glue that holds my writing together

Tags at the bottom

“Michael, this ice is so thick! It’s not going to break!” you grinned as you shakily maneuvered on the slippery substance.

“Mom is going to worry. We should get back home,” your little brother said in nervousness.

“Would I seriously let anything happen to you?” you asked seriously.

“No.”

“Then come on. It’s fun to run around on!” you giggled as you picked up your speed. Michael trusted you since you were his only sister. Being five years older than him, he looked up to you for everything. He once said you were his role model which you loved. He was the best little brother a girl could ask for, and you’re always taking him on adventures whenever your parents came up to the cabin for vacation which was often. Right now, it’s the middle of winter so the lake is frozen over as snow continues to fall from the sky. The most Michael will go home with is a few bruises from slipping on the ice; nothing he can’t handle. Michael wobbly tried to keep up with you, but you were too far from where he was at.

“Y/N! Slow down! Wait for me!” he exclaimed. He had just turned seven, so he thinks he could handle anything and everything when really, he was a lot slower than he anticipated. Nonetheless, you waited for him as he slowly waddled across the ice.

“Y/N, I don’t feel good.”

“Are you getting sick?” you asked as you began the trek back to him.

“No, but this ice doesn’t feel safe!”

“Michael, nothing is going to happen to you,” you sighed. Before you could finish your sentence, the ice cracked from underneath your little brother’s feet before caving in. Your little brother screamed as he fell in the freezing cold water. The thing about this lake was that it had a current beneath the surface, something you figured out when you came here in the summertime.

“Michael!!” you screamed as you rushed to try and save your brother. If the ice cold water didn’t kill him, then the freezing cold weather would if you pulled him out of the water. As soon as you got to the hole, you couldn’t see your brother anywhere.

“Michael!!”

“Michael!!!”

“Michael!” you yelled as you gasped awake. Sweat covered your entire body, and you already knew there was an outline of your body on the sheet from the sweat. The fan was on in your room as well as the AC, but it felt like a million degrees in there. Tears spilled out from your eyes as you recalled the worst moment in your entire life. Michael had trusted you to take care of him, but he drowned in the water.

It was your fault he drowned.

He was dead because of you.

For eighteen years, you’ve had the same nightmare about your brother dying. His body was found when the ice thawed out, and it had been so cold that the water preserved his body, but that didn’t matter. You had killed your little brother, and your parents resented you for it. It didn't matter now because your entire family was dead. Your parents died in their sleep all alone in the cabin they refused to leave because it had too many good memories of Michael.

No one knew what your nightmares were about, and they didn’t ask. They only knew they happened because they could hear you scream your brother’s name almost every morning. It was something that was alarming at first, but now they just dismiss it completely. You never talked about them, and they never pushed. You just knew they were there for you if you ever want to talk to about them. The only person who you could even think you might want to tell is Bucky.

He was no stranger to nightmares, and he was a strong survivor of PTSD, something you’re too familiar with. The only reason why you haven’t told him about your nightmares is because he already has too much on his plate. He’s suffered so much, you didn’t want to add to his burden. However, he’s the only one you trusted to tell him about your nightmares. Sure, Natasha has her fair share of them as well as Tony, but you didn’t think they would understand. Not like Bucky would.

Getting out of bed, you trudged out of your room and to the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as you possibly could. The last thing you wanted was to wake someone up because you couldn’t seem to sleep peacefully. As you approached the kitchen, you could hear someone shuffling inside. Peeking in, you saw the person you were closest to besides Bucky. Clint was rummaging through the drawers as he searched for something. Not wanting to spook him, you noisily opened the door to let him know you were there. He swiftly turned around and gave you a sad smile.

“Hey, what are you doing up?” he asked even though he already knew.

“Nightmare,” you shrugged before going over to the fridge to get some water. “What are you looking for?”

“The tea packets. Steve had put them here when he bought them the other day.”

“Tony moved them to the cabinets. If he sees something that he doesn’t like, he will move them. They’re right above your head.”

“Thanks,” he said as he closed the drawer and opened the cabinet. “Want some tea?”

“Sure.”

“You know, Nat used to get nightmares all the time,” he said as he prepared two cups.

“I know. She told me about them.”

“She used to come to me when she couldn’t sleep. Just know you can always come to me if you need someone to talk to.”

“Thanks, Clint, but I don’t think I’m ready to tell anyone about my nightmares. They’re too real, too scary,” you sighed as you took the cup of tea.

“I figured as much which is why I made my special tea. Natasha used to drink it before going to bed, and she says her nightmares weren't so bad. If I can’t help one way, I’ll figure out another way to. Drink it all and try going back to sleep,” he smiled.

“Thank you. I will,” you smiled. Clint started to leave the room, but you stopped him by calling his name. “You’re a good friend.”

“Thanks,” he smiled before leaving completely. Sighing, you decided to try out this tea and took a large gulp. It wasn’t the best tea but it definitely wasn’t the worst. Deciding you could handle the taste, you sipped it slowly until there was no more left to drink.

“What are you doing up?” Bucky asked once he saw you in the main room by the window. The city is always busy, and you often liked to watch from the high ground. People lived their lives, went to different places, and did a lot of different things. If you weren't so sad all the time, you would join them.

“Can’t sleep,” you whispered. Bucky walked over to you before taking a seat next to you.

“Can’t sleep or you had another nightmare?”

“The latter,” you sighed.

“You know I’m here if you want to talk,” he said softly. Since you got here, he’s warmed up to you the most. Bucky’s offer made you want to tell him so badly, but he didn’t need that extra weight.

“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind,” you whispered.

“My door is always open if you just want to lay with me. We don’t have to talk. I find that having a body next to you makes everything just a little bit better.”

“Yeah? Where did you hear that?” you asked with a small smile.

“From experience. Try to get some sleep. Remember my offer,” he said as he got up and left you alone for the rest of the night. Maybe you should take him up on his offer. He did say that you two didn’t have to talk at all which makes things a little bit easier.

Over the next few weeks, you and Bucky have gotten a lot closer. After his initial proposal, you had taken him up on his offer at least 14 times. It was nice knowing he was right there next to you even though you two didn’t do anything, not even talk. He didn't ask what your nightmares were about, in fact, he didn’t ask about anything. He knew just having him there was good enough.

Michael’s anniversary was today, and you have been a nervous wreck the entire time. No one knew what was bothering you, but by the tears on your face, they knew it was bad. You’ve been distant the whole day, but on his anniversary, you like to go to the cemetery that he was buried at to talk to him. It made you feel better that he could hear you from wherever he is. All he mostly heard was you crying and telling him you were sorry over and over again.

After sneaking out of the house, you quickly made your way over to the cemetery. Bypassing grieving people, you approached your little brother’s grave that had fresh flowers on it. Every week you drop off flowers and leave, but only on his anniversary do you stay and chat for a while. Gently setting down the flowers in your hand, you took a seat as you stared at the picture that was on the headstone.

“I know I say this every time, but I’m sorry. It’s my fault you died, and I’m reminded of that every night when I close my eyes. I didn't know the ice was unsafe. I didn't mean to kill you, Michael,” you cried. Your whole body was shaking, and you jumped five feet in the air when you felt a hand on your shoulder. Looking at the intruder, you cried even more when you saw it was Bucky. It didn’t matter that he heard your confession, you were just glad he was here.

Wordlessly, he took a seat next to you before bringing you into his arms. Pressing your face to his chest, you let out all the emotions you had been harboring for the past few weeks. Bucky didn’t seem to mind, and he ran his flesh hand through your hair gently.

“I killed him,” you hiccupped.

“Whatever happened was an accident. I know that much,” he whispered.

“I killed my little brother,” you cried.

“I’m sure wherever he is, he forgives you,” Bucky tried to make this better. He didn’t, but just his presence alone was helping tremendously.

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[mdelpin]

Things Aren’t Always As They Seem - Chapter 6

Gratsu Bingo 2019 Prompt: Hate AO3 | FF.Net | Tumblr: Ch1, Ch2 , Ch3 , Ch4, Ch5

Chapter 6

Stupid Zeref. Igneel is not dead, he’s not dead, not dead, dead….

NO!

Natsu ran as fast as he could, not bothering to pay any attention to where he was going. Next thing he knew, he was on the ground with no clue how he’d gotten there. There was a pained moan underneath him, and he scrambled to get up, finding a young girl staring up at him, a toy stroller on its side next to them.

He was quick to apologize, wiping his tears away before offering to help her up, all while trying to ignore the disquieted looks he was getting from her father. Natsu helped the girl put her dolly back in the stroller.

He found himself staring at the father, the way he was scowling at Natsu, daring him to lay a hand on his daughter. Protecting. Just like Igneel used to do.

Igneel can’t be dead, not dead, dead…

Igneel’s not dead damn it! He and Zeref must have just missed him. All he had to do was return to Alvarez and find him.

He slowed down his pace, tears streaming down his face steadily. He made no attempt to wipe them away. Yeah! That’s what he needed to do, he needed to go back to Alvarez.

Natsu tried to shove that thought away before it could gain any traction. He couldn’t do that. He’d promised Gray he’d be there when he returned. Natsu had already left him once, he couldn’t do it again. Besides what he’d said to Zeref, it was wrong. It had been unnecessarily cruel, and he already regretted it.

He refused to think of the despair in his brother’s eyes when Natsu said he’d wished Zeref had died in Igneel’s place.

Which was ridiculous, cause Igneel is most definitely not dead.

Zeref’s words had filled him with anger, and a blazing hatred that, although quick to disperse, had left Natsu unsettled. He’d never felt an emotion that strong before. He loved his brother, had felt a connection to him from the moment they’d met.

But, what did he really know about Zeref? Other than he was four years older than him and he’d been some sort of political prisoner. How was that possible when he’d spent almost two years with the guy?

Natsu was six when they moved to Magnolia, and all memories before that were shaky at best. How does a ten-year-old boy become a political prisoner? Why had Igneel never told him about Zeref?

Nothing made any sense, and it hurt his head. He kept coming up with more and more questions, but he didn’t have any damn answers. Not a single one.

He kept walking, not really paying attention to where he was going, just letting his feet guide him while he tried to take control of his frantic mind. Trying to ignore the voice that was yelling at him that there must be a reason why he hadn’t asked any questions of Zeref. Had he known something after all?

After walking for what felt like hours, he came upon a familiar place. He decided to stop there and rest, just for a little while, if only to help quiet his mind. He sat down on a bench and promptly fell asleep.

O-o

Gray was exhausted, the wedding felt like it had gone on forever. The pictures alone had taken over an hour, and despite Ur’s misgivings Gray had to imagine they’d come out fine. Lyon had a stupid smile on his face throughout the whole thing, somehow managing to get a second wind the moment he’d seen Juvia.

Ur and Gray had stayed until Lyon and Juvia had left for their honeymoon, and then they’d headed back home to meet up with Zeref and Natsu for an early dinner.

They’d been driving for a few minutes when Gray decided he’d withheld his news long enough. He’d offered to drive knowing she probably wouldn’t react well to what he had to tell her.

“Mom, I have to tell you something,” Gray said seriously.

“You’re bisexual and in love with Natsu,” Ur giggled, a little buzzed from all the toasts, “I’ve known forever.”

“Uhm… no, that’s not it, but I’m glad you’re taking that so well,” Gray replied, a little surprised by her reaction.

“Well then, what is it?”

“Igneel is dead,” Gray’s voice reflected the pain he was still feeling.

“Igneel?” Ur covered her mouth, but she resisted his words. It wasn’t hard to, Natsu’s optimism was very contagious. “How can you be so sure?”

“Zeref told us last night, he was executed in Alvarez about a year after he left.”

“Alvarez? That country in Alakitasia? What would Igneel be doing all the way over there?”

“That’s a much longer story that I’m not really at liberty to discuss right now.”

“Igneel was my friend, I think I deserve to know,” Ur snapped, and then with a small gasp, “Does Natsu know?”

Gray kept his eyes on the road, his stomach tying itself into knots as he wondered if Zeref had already told him.

“Zeref planned on telling him while we were gone.”

“Oh, God, that poor boy! This will tear him apart, he’d held hope for so long.”

Ur began to cry softly, and Gray grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently, “I’m sorry, Mom.”

Ur sniffled for a while longer “What about you, how are you holding up?”

“I don’t know, I’m sad, but I’m more worried about Natsu. We both know he’s not going to take this well.”

It was Ur’s turn to squeeze his hand, and he smiled at the gesture.

“You really do love him, don’t you?”

Yes, he really fucking did, but he wasn’t about to tell her that.

“We’ll all be there for him when he’s ready. It’s what Igneel would have wanted,” Ur declared, her voice full of a certainty that Gray envied.

Gray rather thought Igneel would have wanted Natsu to find his way to Zeref. He was still having trouble accepting everything Zeref had told them the night before, but it had sounded like Igneel had cared a lot about Zeref as well. Had even gone so far as to go to Alvarez to try to get Zeref out.

He remembered Zeref’s description of how he’d found Natsu with his mother. What must he have seen? Poor Natsu, he’d been dealt a crappy hand from the very beginning.

They remained silent the rest of the ride, both caught up in their own thoughts. It was only when Gray got out of the car that he noticed the lone figure sitting on the steps of his building. He hurried over, hearing the car door slam behind him as Ur followed.

“Zeref?”

Zeref raised his head upon hearing his name, and Gray winced. He looked terrible. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot, but once he recognized Gray, he got up quickly and grabbed him by the shoulders, his voice oozing with desperation.

“We have to find him!”

“What happened?” Gray asked, his concern mounting as he saw the expression on Zeref’s face. His eyes seemed dull as if he had endured more pain than any one person should, and he was fully expecting to be blasted with more soon.

“I told him about Igneel,” he answered simply.

“What did he say?” Ur asked, trying to get Zeref to sit back down.

“It doesn’t matter, what’s important is he ran off, and I have no idea where. I was hoping you might.”

Gray thought long and hard about where Natsu would run off to when he was upset about Igneel. He was reasonably sure he’d narrowed it down to one of two places, and he would make sure to go to the most likely one, in case Natsu wasn’t ready to see Zeref yet.

“I’ll go to the playground, why don’t you guys go to the old house?” Gray suggested.

He tossed the car keys to his mother and ran inside to quickly change out of his tux and into some more comfortable clothes. His heart was pounding, he didn’t think Natsu would try to hurt himself but Igneel dying was something he’d always refused to even consider. Anytime anyone would mention the possibility he’d always shut down and so they’d learned to leave it alone.

Zeref had followed him up, and after he’d used the bathroom, Gray finally realized neither of them had brought anything with them the night before. He grabbed some of his clean clothes and tossed them over to the older man.

“Didn’t you guys bring anything with you?”

“We left our bags at Sting’s apartment, he was the one who gave us your address.” Zeref replied, turning away from Gray as he hastily changed his clothes. Gray hadn’t meant to look, but he couldn’t help but notice how the man’s back was literally covered in all manner of scars. It shocked him.

“Did you get a chance to tell him anything else? I kind of wanna know what I’m walking into.”

Zeref shook his head, “No, and he hates me now, so maybe it’s best if I take off after we find him. I just want to make sure he’s alright.”

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“You didn’t see his face,” Zeref insisted.

“Dude, Natsu is incapable of hating anyone, that’s just who he is. He’s just hurt and angry, and I mean, can you blame him?”

“No, I know I should have told him. I just — I wanted us to get to know each other without having Igneel between us. By the time I realized how unfair that was, it was too late to tell him. It was stupid.”

“Yeah it was, but love makes us do all sorts of stupid shit,” Gray pointed out with a smile, “We’ll find him, and we’ll help him get through it. It’s what family does, and you,” Gray made a point of looking into Zeref’s eyes, “are a part of his family.”

Once Zeref had nodded in grudging agreement, Gray grabbed his car keys, “Now, let’s go find him.”

They hurried down the stairs, Zeref going with Ur to the house Natsu had lived in with Igneel as a child and Gray running to his car to head over to the playground where he and Lyon had first met Natsu.

o-o

Gray parked his car in the first available spot and immediately set to looking around for Natsu. He checked all the places where they used to play and panicked when there was no sign of him, not sure where else he might have gone to in his state.

He began asking people if they’d seen a young man with pink hair who might have been acting upset, but no one had. Gray made his way deeper into the park, past the playground and onto the small hiking trails that were just right for families with small children.

Gray was convinced Natsu was in here somewhere, so he kept walking until he caught sight of something he hadn’t thought about in a long time.

The duck pond Igneel had loved. Gray remembered how he’d always bring them here when he wanted to speak with them, letting them feed the birds as he talked.

Gray could almost hear his voice, quietly scolding him about a rougher than usual fight with Lyon, or urging him to do better in school. They had so many talks over the five years he’d been a part of his life. Gray couldn’t hold back any longer.

At that moment, everything became much too real. Igneel was gone, and he was never coming back. He had died alone in his homeland, trying his hardest to reunite a father with his son.

Gray found himself crying, his chest heaving as tears that were too warm and salty trailed down his cheeks. He couldn’t even say who he was crying for — himself, Igneel, Natsu or Zeref, but a small part of him felt like his own father had died all over again.

When Gray managed to bring his tears down to mere sniffles, he made his way over to the small pond and found Natsu asleep on a bench. He was muttering in his sleep, his body twitching so restlessly Gray was surprised he hadn’t fallen off.

“Natsu?” Gray called out softly, not wanting to startle him awake. He’d only made that mistake once, and he did not care to repeat it. He tried to make himself comfortable in the small space next to Natsu’s head.

“Hey Natsu,” Gray ran his fingers through Natsu’s hair once, noting with sorrow the dried tear tracks on his cheeks before shaking a shoulder gently. “Wake up, sleepyhead. Everyone’s worried about you.”

While Natsu slowly woke up, Gray texted his mother, letting her know he’d found him and mentioning their location. She replied, promising to bring Zeref with her.

He sort of felt sorry for having made Zeref go with Ur, knowing she’d probably pelted him with questions. And he couldn’t help but wonder how much Zeref might have told her.

Natsu sat up, surprised by Gray’s presence but still too tired to form complete sentences. “Gray? How?”

“How did I find you?” When Natsu nodded, he explained, “This is where we met the two of you, all those years ago. I figured you’d come here, although I expected you to be by the playground. I hadn’t thought about the pond in years.”

“Man, I got scolded so many times here, but Igneel never yelled, you know?” Gray found himself dangerously close to sniffling again.

“Not you too! Stop talking like Igneel’s gone. He’s not gone, he’s…,”

“Natsu, he’s gone,” Gray said firmly, capturing Natsu’s gaze and holding it.

“NO! He’s not dead, he’s not, I’m going to find him,” Natsu’s cries were desperate, and it was breaking Gray’s heart to have to correct him.

“He is gone, Zeref saw it happen,” Gray insisted, feeling crueler by the second.

“Zeref doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Natsu yelled, covering his ears with his hands, “Igneel’s not dead, not dead, not dead, not dead…”

Gray was unnerved by the way Natsu kept repeating the words over and over, a mantra to keep his hope alive.

“Stop it!” Gray tried to pull Natsu’s hands away from his ears, he needed Natsu to listen to him, but he was holding on too tight leaving Gray no choice but to yell.

“Why would Zeref lie to you about this?”

“Because he’s not who he says he is!” Natsu screamed, surprising both of them.

What the hell did I just say?

Gray knew Natsu was right, but he couldn’t admit that. Only Zeref could.

“What do you mean?”

“I… I don’t know,” Natsu whispered, but in his heart, he knew that wasn’t true. He’d known something was off for a long time, he just hadn’t wanted to admit it because he liked the idea of having a brother. Even if it made no sense at all.

“There’s something, something that’s been bugging me since he mentioned Igneel for the first time, but it can’t be. I — I think I’m going crazy.”

“Natsu —, I’m sorry,” Gray had no clue what else to say so he put his arm around him instead and let him cry into his shoulder, holding him as close as possible.

“He can’t be dead, Gray “Natsu sobbed piteously, “I never got to say goodbye.”

“I know. It’s not fair, but Igneel wouldn’t want to see you like this,” Gray murmured soothingly, “He loved you. The last thing he would have ever wanted was to cause you pain.”

Natsu only cried harder.

“I always thought the only reason he would have left was to protect you from something,” Gray moved his arm from Natsu’s shoulder, running his fingers through the pink locks that had always fascinated him.

It broke him to see Natsu like this, he’d always been the sunshine Gray had depended on to keep going, which is why he’d fallen to such depths when it was gone.

“If that was true, I’m sure he kept you with him until the very end,” Gray’s tears fell on Natsu like droplets of rain, and for the moment he was content to cry together with him, knowing Igneel had meant a lot to him too.

“He did,” Zeref’s voice surprised both of them out of the little bubble they had created for themselves.

Zeref stood in front of their bench, peering down at them through his own tears. “I know you might not want to listen to anything I have to say right now, but you deserve to know a few things. After I’m done, you can tell me what you want me to do, and I will honor it.”

Natsu clasped Gray’s hand instinctively. Zeref noticed the gesture and smiled reassuringly, “He doesn’t have to go anywhere, he already knows part of it. Ur can stay as well. They are your family.”

Natsu nodded his agreement, and Zeref walked towards the grassy area across from the benches and sat down, his back leaning against a tree. Natsu, Gray, and Ur followed, sitting around him and waiting for him to speak.

Zeref remained quiet for a time, gazing at Natsu intently before putting his hands behind his neck and unlocking the clasp of his locket for the first time since placing it there so many years ago. He removed it and handed it over to Natsu quickly before he could change his mind.

“This belongs to you now, your mother would have wanted you to have it,” Zeref felt like he was ready to cry again. That locket had been the only thing to give him comfort for years and without its comforting weight against his heart, he felt a wave of despair rise within him.

Natsu held it in his hand, not quite daring to open it.

“Go ahead, open it,” Zeref urged, curious to see how Natsu would respond to the picture.

Gray kept his hand on Natsu at all times, using touch to ground him. He knew some of what was coming, and he couldn’t predict how Natsu was going to react.

Natsu fiddled with the locket, not quite sure how to open it but determined not to break it. It unfolded smoothly, and he gawked at the picture inside. Zeref, looking much like he did now, a woman that his heart instantly recognized and a chid that looked like him. Was that him?

He didn’t have many memories of his early childhood, but he knew he’d seen that woman in his dreams, and sometimes in his nightmares. Brief glimpses that disappeared when he woke up, leaving only enough for him to acknowledge that she had been real to him once. And he understood that whatever Zeref was about to tell him was the truth.

It took every ounce of courage he possessed not to run away. Natsu gripped Gray’s hand too tightly, but he never complained. He then looked over at Ur, wondering what she must think of all this, but she only watched Zeref with a guarded expression.

“I met Igneel thirty two years ago, when I was twelve years old,” Zeref let the words hang in the air as Natsu gaped at him in disbelief.

[kronos-the-timelord]

Lmao 1-100! Or maybe just 10 of your choice if that’s too many!

!!!!! thank,, sorry this took so long to answer,, i got school work and normal work

no I’m answering all of them bc ily

Spotify!! i got the student discount thingy

it’s messy, but i want to clean it 0n0

brown

yeah! it’s a family name (i had the same name as my great grandma, wasn’t name after her, it just happened)

been in a relationship for 1 and a half yrs, hes in England right now for school tho ;-;

extroverted introvert

brown! its got natural highlights of red and blonde tho so a lot of ppl ask if i got it dyed if im in different lighting

dark grey subaru crosstrek!! her names inko!!

the mall mostly,,, like american eagle and target

????? leggings???? and then I Could Murder You With A Single Look

tungl,,,, and i’ve been a twitter a little more (kronos-the-timelord if you’re interested in my what my 13 tweets are)

queen

yeah, and older brother,,,, he’s a lameo

Denver, Colorado or Pigeon Forge, Tennessee,,, its really pretty both places (i almost ended up going to college in denver)

i like the fall leaves ones

i;ve been using a lot of jeffery star eyeshadow and i have a few of his lipsticks but i also really like elf!

6-7,, i don’t like to feel gross

project runway

depends on the brand, but im generally an 11

5′6′’

SNEAKERS SNEAKERS SNEAKERS

HAHAHAH

going to a museum/park/zoo and then getting ice cream and cuddles

i dont carry cash

i was wearing grey and orange with gold polka dots before I took a shower

6 pillows and 6 blankets and then i have 3 plushies (the blankets count as pillows bc i say so)

yeah, i work at bath and body works and then sometimes i ‘volunteer’ (its nonprofit but i still get paid) at a bingo hall sometimes

i have some really close ones, but then i also have some from college or elsewhere that i don’t know too well but i still like being around

ummmmmmmm,,,, my memory is kinda shit so i dont really remember

while looking at my 30 unburned candles in my room, i think its just generally scents associated with the fall

Vladimir, Matthew, and Lucas 

Sophia, jeanette, Sephia

Chris hemsworth/evans and Tom holland,,, I can’t pick a favorite out of these boys!!

Tessa Thompson/Lupita Nyong'o/Letitia Wright/Danai Gurira i love them!! they’re so great!!

umm, i can’t really think of one off the top of my head

i, really into Song of the Sea right now, but i really love any studio ghibli movie!!

i love reading! i love rick riordan series and the recivere of many series by @therkalexander !! she’s working on her new book right now and im so excited

why not both?????

maggie, dipshit, maggie moo, you know the normal ones, for a while my friends called me parky

once beside regular check ups, but i’ve been a hospital many times for other ppl and a shadowed my aunt for a day in 1st grade

I was an Island, SLUT, here, video games, you should see me in a crown, bury a friend, youngblood, blame, the dismemberment song, africa (covered by nsp)

yeah, sertraline, it’s for my pmdd

oily-normal

snakes

zero, but that might change (probably not)

its really short right now so whatever it looks like when i roll out of bed but when it was longer i would put in a bun

its a two story with 3 bedrooms

my mom

my mom and i yell ‘you’re amazing/sweet/wonderful/etc’ at eachother a lot

lol

i don;t remeber but my brother told his entire 1st grade class that he wasn’t real

i like teslas but i would take my subararu with me anywhere bc i love her

i hate the smell of it and not the biggest fan either

yep, nursing

an obstetric nurse! ive been telling ppl that since i was 3

i currently live in the suburban area (i can see downtown from my porch) and i like it here, its kind close to everything i need

why wouldn’t you??

yeah! i love them

i try

41

nope

HELL YEAH

wendy’s has better quality chicken but sometimes you just need those nasty bois

i dont really use too many now but if i had to get one bbq

a big tshirt or hoodie

 i got 3rd place in one in 2nd grade (it was a super small one tho that was only for the 2nd graders at my school)

drawing, reading, writing, sleeping

i like to think that i can

i did for 3 years but then i realized i was terrible at it

does my high school’s band count?

tea 

Starbucks but i like a good donut now and then

yeah

(ill go with boyf bc i got one) L K

idk, i like my last name

darker colors, but a bright pink looks nice too

@keencheckerboard @memeathon @vendingturtle ;n;

gotta be closed

yeah, enough weird stuff has happened to me and my mom that i just have to at this point

slow walkers

my mom

always down for mint chocolate chip

if it aint double stuff it doesn;t belong in my house

rainbow sprinkles bc its more fun

a 2XL sleep shirt

space!

an odd combo of both

!!!!!!!!!YES!!!!!!!!!!

yeah, but i dont like that one of them is letting a guy on house arrest stay at his place, like i  get it, but i just get bad vibes from the guy

morning and night bc im oily

no

no

a frosty

“And when the earth is trembling on some new beginnin’With the same sweet shock of when Adam first came”

winter

night

dark chocolate

october and november

libra

i think my mom??? but i hate crying in front of ppl

[lclunastar]

#DearGrandpa 🎈👴💗🌹✨

It doesn't happen that when you're alone, like in my case, very late at night, i usually go out to the balcony, and ask myself a lot of questions without answers? One that i've been doing a lot lately is of the: 'Why some people come into your life?' Even if it's just for a brief moment, and i don't mean that in a romantic sense, but also friendships, sometimes they don't even need to be so attached, and that's when i tend to ask myself is it some sort of brief mission that i have? They're going to leave a message? Why it appeared on my way? What is the meaning? While i still try to decipher life. Sometimes i like to share little things of what i already learned from it. As i mentioned before, i'm a person of few words, The phrase 'I'm more of a listener' defines me perfectly. I like to be in the middle of a good conversation, where a person proposes a situation, and listen to the different ideas from everybody, even though there are certain things that i don't agree, i'm also learning, even though some people insist on teaching me things that i already know, and well, that's how you know about the different personalities, i believe. And the other day my friends, and the friends of my friends gathered in a place to eat, while watching them, they came with themes about the future, dreams, careers, what each one wanted, all were so caught up sharing, when a girl, decided compare herself to me. I said this a thousand times, don't do it, we all human, yes, but not with the same experiences. Well, she just met me, which obviously says i didn't gave a lot of details, just what i really want out of life is to be happy, doing what i like, but according to her, for the little she saw: 'I'm a girl who seeks to live studying, relaxed and not in a good way, unconcerned with life, making jokes, not caring about anything, with anyone and who knows how many more conclusions.' When she interrupted the conversation saying: 'In my life i want to be anything but like her.' And pointed at me. Everyone looked and started to annoy with the typical: 'Uuuuh!' And i said: 'Me? Aaaah.. How am i?' Which seems very surprising to me nowadays, when some didn't go through the things you went, and give themselves the luxury of saying that they already know everything about your life, just because they see you telling jokes all the time. S: 'I don't know, very calm for life, for example, i don't think to reach 25 like you, (Now 26) At your age i already planned to have enough money saved to buy a house.' At that moment my bff smiled at me, looked down and continued eating. My mind said: 'Wrong, i had my first house at 14.' While i replied: 'Of course, because the material is absolutely everything these days, isn't it?' Everyone was still bothering. Then she also continued eating with a posture of superiority. When one of my man friends to break the tension, said: 'The only thing i know, is that none of us will never be owners of bumblebee or megatron.' And another one shouted: 'Speak for yourself!' We all started laughing again. The fact that this happened seemed to me a little cliché, almost a perfect déjà vu per se, i know there are a lot bad things, innocent people going through a lot of injustice, i'm aware, i also watch the news, but when something happens, i realize, and include myself, that we can even feel identified, but when it's not close to you, a couple of days something new comes out, and we start forgetting. I remember a time where anything, even a pin falling to the floor made me hysterical, till i began to notice, that it was a lot of indignation, for zero action. Which brought me to the memory, that video of some policemen killing a black man when he was going to take something out of his pocket, they thought it would be a weapon, but it was only his wallet, i think? Many filmed and shared the video, saying the famous at least in my opinion, disgusting phrase: 'Sad, he was so good.' Many people were angry with me at that time, because nothing came out of my mouth, or my fingers on social networks about it. Some even stopped talking to me for my lack of commitment. A few close friends, who for some reason that i don't know what it is, refused to leave, and took the time to ask, what happened? If i was always very awake for life. And i answered: A few years ago, when a man pointed with a gun at my mom's forehead, i didn't took the phone and waited. I stood in front of her, jumped on his arm, he scratched me, and i started to punch him, it got to the point where he asked me to please let him go. I don't consider myself a great example, but i'm sorry, for me, that is action. That's where i started with my sarcasm and ironies.. Ah! There are diamonds on the space? Let's send some people, so we avoid many continue dying from landslides. Don't get me wrong, but i like experimenting with some stones and chains myself, i think Michael Kors is a genius by how he makes everything look so delicate. I love watching all of you, talk, and discuss many important issues that need to be touched. But from time to time, i would also like to see the solutions. How we're really going to do, to get these troglodytes politicians out of the power. Violence will never be a good answer, but in my country (Paraguay) They burned the Congress as a sign for many years of abuse to the people. All the tumult caused so much sensation that even led the pope to write a letter asking for peace. And as a consequence, to the president a note announcing his resignation by October of this year. He still wants a lower position, but at least it's something, i guess. Or in my mom's country (Brazil) where a former president got into corruption, money laundering, and now they plan take him to jail. Then there's ISIS, which we all know. Diseases, people without health insurance. Climate change affecting everybody. Garbage, trying to care of the environment and animals. Not just talk, but do something.. Get it? All the complaints, it hurts, more importantly about the people close to me, whom i love deeply, see a lot of rage. Then you say stupid things that have nothing to do with these matters, to get a momentary smile from them, it's difficult, but you try. Now, about the house, or houses. I had them, of different forms, colors, and distances, i mean in several cities. Thanks to my grandpa, i know he was a notary, but i never bothered to understand everything of what he did exactly, i think, some people asked him for his services, but some couldn't pay, so they did with some properties that were left. On his beginnings i heard they gave him chickens, or maybe that part was a joke in the family reunions. I'm not sure, i was very young, couldn't care less. The only thing i liked was to smell his clothes, freshly washed, when recently arrived to visit, see him very concentrated on his desk with the typewriter. Yes, i love the sound of typewriters and not to mention the smell of ink, it fascinates me. My focus was to cover his eyes and hear him say the name of everyone till almost at the end when he would finally mentioned mine, even if he pronounced the names of the oldest one's who obviously had bigger hands of course, but that was his magic.. The jokes, my joy. In case that some of you wandered about my weird sense of humor, well, there you have it. I even remember when he started using a computer for the first time, we were never really good with technology, and he put his face close to the screen when Clippy appeared, and said: 'No, i'm not interested, because all these interruptions when i write, so now YOU know.' And that made me smile while i looked at him from the couch at his side. All i could think about was the summer vacations. When he came to pick us up at 4 A.M. He made a stop at the service station, filled a portable cooler, with lots of fruit juice, and sandwiches. Then took us to the interior of the country, in a hotel, the rooms were themed, it looked more like a cabin, with pool, the adults made barbecue. From time to time he made me dance. Others watched him while in the water, excited because he was winning at bingo. And at dusk, after a nap, of course. Horses.🐎🌺✨ The anecdotes i don't forget are: · When in a game of poker one of the boys didn't stop to win, and after humiliated all the other children, then as he also liked to show others the things that were really important, spent a whole night, teaching me how to play, and at the next day when i practically beat him, the boy looked at me, waiting for me to make him feel bad like he did with the others. I said: 'What matters is to have fun, everybody, ice cream?' They started jumping and screaming with excitement. Then the boy approached, i passed my hand and said: 'I hope you washed it.' He smiled, but instead decided to kiss me on the cheek and run. My cousin, she said: 'I would have preferred if he gave it to me' Me: 'Ew'.. *I said while trying to clean it.* My grandpa laughed.👴💕 · When it was raining, i jumped to the pool of the place, to see how it looked from below. I mean: Come on! At some point we were all curious about this. But when i opened my eyes, saw a huge frog in front of me, i yelled, and went out as fast as possible, then he grabbed it and called me, put my hand down and said: 'Do you feel that? It's his heart, it's beating faster, because he also thinks *whispers* you're ugly.' That also made me smile. I still don't lose the fear of reptiles, i helped a lizard not to be attacked by a bigger one, taking it away in one of the plants at home, but more than that, didn't dare yet. The other day, when i was going upstairs, felt something when i stepped on, turned on the light and found myself with a snake, ran as fast as possible and climbed to the table, was paralyzed for an hour, till i finally gathered the courage to jump to the door, and go ask for help from a neighbor. I thought, how different would be if he was with me, probably would have lost the fear already. · When he taught me to ride a horse for the first time, the horse didn't moved, then a boy, grabbed the whip, hit him, but instead he got scared, and almost threw me, my grandpa asked him to give it to him and said: 'Let's see if'.. Then hit the boy with it and asked.. 'You liked it?' The boy frightened said.. 'No.' My grandpa: 'And what makes you think he would liked it?' Broke it in half, and helped the horse to walk with tender love and care. · At his desk.. He was talking to a client and his wife, when he noticed that i was having problems trying to finish something from school, he asked the client to keep silence with his hand, asking for a moment. And asked me if everything was okay? I said that i didn't get any single word, he asked me about my mom, and i said: 'It's working.' H: 'Your dad?' M: 'He barely appears.' He got up, left his clients saying: 'I'll see you both other day.' Ran to his car, speeded up. A while later, he appeared with a gift, but before said: 'This is the best advice you will receive.. Read as many times as necessary, *while i was taking it out* and no matter where you go, always carry a good dictionary with you.' Sadly, one of the removal men basically robbed me. But a few minutes before he was telling me that it was difficult for him to buy the items school for his daughter, so i don't blame him, i totally get it. I say 'Sadly' because, i know that if he asked, i would even give him a newer one. That of my grandpa, in spite of being old, was special, because he made a poem dedicatory written by himself. But that's life, you also have to learn to let go. · When i dropped a vase, he wipes my tears saying: 'If you break something, don't worry, remember, some people out there are fighting for their lives.' · And my favorite: I was 7, and we were in front of a huge staircase, but for the first time i didn't feel afraid, because he held my right hand, and on the other side was my cousin, at the end we went into this new shopping center. He felt something agitated, sat down in one of the chairs that were inside and said: 'Choose what you want girls, that i'm going to buy them.' My cousin and i smiled at each other, and ran in opposite directions. It took me less than 5 seconds, when he closed his eyes to relax, i already came back. He felt something on his leg, and slowly opened one side of his eye, to see what it was, when he saw me, opened both showing a surprised face, and asked me what happened? I said: 'There it is' and handed him a packet of phosphorescent gel pens. H: 'This is it?' M: 'Yes, that's all i needed to decorate my homework once i finished it.' An hour later my cousin appeared or what was seen of her, her small legs, staggering from side to side, while carrying almost half of the place. *He looked down and smiled.* M: 'Is everything alright?' H: 'If there is one, there's always hope.' M: 'What does that mean?' H: 'Someday when you grow up, you'll understand.' I did.. ·I understood, when i was lying next to him in bed, placing my right hand on his hands, and with my left caressing the head gently while he died, and the ambulance didn't arrived, because the system was and is very damaged. ·I understood, when i was in the corner of the couch in the morgue, his body was still warm, and one aunt sat and said: 'What are we going to do with the house?' M: 'What house?' S: 'The house, because it had to be sold, then split it, you know, the money, between all of us.' M: 'Grandma is still alive.' H: 'Ah, right, is that.. and the car?' M: 'I really won't listen to this.' The allegedly father: 'Me neither.' We got up, and went by our own side. ·I understood, when i stood on the side of his coffin and said: .. 'They put formaldehyde on you, if i kiss your face, would that be enough to kill me, so i'd go with you? Yeah, uncomfortable question, better don't answer.. HA! See what i did there? No? Okay, never mind.' My cousin stood at the feet and said: 'He would've loved that joke, in fact, i'm almost sure that i heard a certain laughter.' M: Look! He's smiling!.. Oh no, they sewed his mouth like that, oops, my bad. S:😂 M:😊 ♡ Especially, i understand, every year on my birthday, when finished celebrating, and you bought me a balloon, wasn't even the balloon, was the last ray of sun that reflected in your eyes, and you turned to smile slowly while you held it. I'm aware of what happens every day, but it's also good to let everyone know, that it is okay to have fun in the moment, and not to stay thinking about what would've happened if after that last call, you had the encouraged to go alone on that bus for the first time, just to, take some ice cream, relax, and not worry too much about the exams. The future. Because while being very focused on the goal, without realizing, you're not enjoying. If you have a dream, and you fight for it, it might arrive at the right time, if you don't have something material that you wanted already in your hands, that doesn't make you less, maybe will come when you're more ready to appreciate it, or life takes you in different paths, on your destiny, to something new that filled you with passion, and you weren't expecting. As one of my greatest influencers used to say: 'Everything you can imagine is real.' - Picasso.💗✨ I took the trouble, to find out a little bit more about you. I know you still have all your relatives, and your parents are happily married. Many of us would like to have that privilege. So would you do me a favor? Like they say: 'Pleeeease, don't lose sight of that.' Now, if y'all excuse me, i'm going to listen one of my favorite songs that speaks about missing someone, because being a little masochist every now and then doesn't hurt anybody.🎈✨ https://youtu.be/mQpnBuooIiQ