#my migraines come

[pupkinpumpkin]

Thinking of Rook always having this mask of humor and chillness at all waking moments, but there are these little moments, where the worry and the stress and the fear are shown in a small downturn of the lips, a quiver of the voice, a furrow of the brow, or a nervous laugh. And then their mask is right back on.

The companions joke about how hard it is to read Rook or they comment on how confident they always look. Rook is their leader and sometimes they seem utterly untouchable.

Then they get sent to the Regret Prison. Everyone is obviously terrified and worried for their safety, but they don't imagine Rook being scared. They imagine Rook blazing through the prison, too stubborn and fierce to be kept down. So the only option is to meet them in the middle. Rook has inspired and helped them all so much that they spend those missing weeks working to get them out, because Rook would've done the same for them.

Finally, after weeks of trial and error, they find a tear in the Fade, just big enough to pull Rook out of. When they pull them out, they expect to see Rook exhausted but relieved. They expect a joke or for Rook to tease them for worrying so much. But that's not what they find.

They find Rook, shaken, sobbing, and scared. There is relief in their eyes, but that mask they always wore is gone, worn away by the prison, revealing all the terror and doubt that they tried so desperately to hide.

For the first time in this entire adventure, Rook is the one who needs to be comforted and taken care of. But that's a lie. Rook always needed help. They were just so busy helping the others with their problems that they never allowed themselves to feel the true weight of their emotions and they NEVER allowed their friends to see how fucking fragile they constantly were. How they were always so close to losing themselves. Rook never truly allowed anyone to see them. Not even their lover.

And now, in this moment where they are finally letting out everything they've kept so hidden, the companions rush to their side. Emmrich is checking if they're hurt, Bellara or Lucanis insists on making them food, Taash or Davrin go look for the comfiest blanket they can find(if Davrin is alive, that blanket is Assan), and, if Harding or Neve is there, they calm Rook down enough to where Rook can finally speak without their voice shaking. Rook's love holds them close while the others all sit around Rook and just listen.

Rook never expected anyone to take care of them, that was their job. They're the leader. Helping everyone else with their problems was enough. But as they explain what happened in the Regret prison, and realize that their friends don't judge or see them any less, Rook feels this profound sense of catharsis. Before Tearstone Island, all the companions set out to deal with their own problems and worries, with Rook by their side, and now each one is here for Rook as they finally let that mask fall and allow themselves to feel everything.

[the-worms-in-your-bones]

It’s disability pride month, you know what that means, you are now legally obligated to make all of your favorite characters disabled

[eyeofthenewt1]

chronic pain

[chrisbangs]

찬이의 "방" 🐺 200 Episode Special

200! 

I looked back at the message I wrote for you almost 2 years ago now, to see what I said. And honestly, I have to agree with past me. It doesn’t feel like that much time has passed since the first day you showed up on VLive and spoke to us so kind and warmly. 200 episodes later, and well now on YouTube, and you are still doing just that. Week after week, being there for us to cheer us up with your laughter and your jokes and your advice and your terrible pick up lines. I still have nothing in my heart but gratitude towards you, Channie. Thank you for continuing to be the most amazing person ever. 

Let’s meet each other again next week, okay?

[spaciebabie]

would you believe me if i said i kept this mostly spoiler free...?

[theladart]

Rapidash/Rainbow Dash ponymon fusion: Firestorm!

Inspired by @pinxpony‘s Pinkie Pie/Flaffy fusion, Flaffy Taffy (hope you don’t mind the tag :P)

Edit: Found out that the rapidash pic I got for reference is a fakemon mega evo designed by CaseyDeanFakemon on Deviantart

[nshi-ao3]

I, uh, accidentally deleted the ask, but-- I got asked if I could draw a little Akechi... and I do need to test out my new tablet, so... Here you go??!

(It's... a reference to this. Make of it what you will??)

[platypusisnotonfire]

This is my son.

He won’t let me get a good picture of him at the moment but

he just saved my life

I fell asleep in the bath (with a horrible migraine and a pharmacy of migraine meds in my system)

And he clawed my head above water while I woke up.

Little boy

My man

I love you O’Malley

[shorthaltsjester]

what if i said imogen is a better metaphor for generational trauma than she is for chronic pain or queerness

[hailsatanacab]

"give me a fandom and a prompt and i'll give you at least five sentences"

Ok then.

Jazz, Danny and Bruce are in the same age range, and Bruce has been harboring a massive crush on 7'foot tall Jazz since just after he began his training journey.

His kids know about and are mercyless. Danny thinks he's a bit of a fruit loop and 100% knows Bruce has a crush on his sister.

Into the future his coworkers find out that batman has been quietly pining after the Ghost Kings sister for years.

Chaos.

love that this reads as a challenge. Ok then. Write it. i will, let's goooo!

(sorry i kinda took it so that Jazz, Danny, and Bruce were all old friends but in that horrible adult way where you can only hang out with each other once in a blue moon when your work schedules miraculously align)

——

"Respectfully, Batman, you can take your "it's not necessary" and you can shove it up your arse. There's a demon the size of a skyscraper heading towards Metropolis and we need reinforcements."

"Superman can—"

"Superman can't. You do remember the part of the report I made telling you this, right? Or did your stubborn little bat brain just shut down when I mentioned magic?"

"Actually," Nightwing interrupts from the side, a shit-eating grin on his face, "I think his brain shut down when you mentioned the Ghost King."

"Nightwing." Batman growls in warning, his jaw clenching so hard Constantine can swear he hears the bones creaking.

Nightwing just snickers, and turns away to press a finger to his ear, no doubt letting the rest of the bat brood in on what's happening here... Whatever that is. All Constantine knows is that Batman is standing between him and fixing this mess for no God-forsaken reason.

Luckily, some of the more reasonable members of the League step in to try and talk some sense into Batman. It gives him some time to calm down.

"Batman. We need him. I know you dislike working with unknowns, but he's our best shot."

It actually looks like Wonder Woman might be getting through to him, Batman even opens his mouth to actually explain some things—a huge step forward for this incredibly emotionally constipated man.

Instead, Nightwing snorts and beats him to it. "Unknowns? More like—"

"Nightwing, please."

"Oh, for Pete's sake, get your head out of your arse and let me do this. The Ghost King is our only hope. I'm summoning him, no matter what you say."

For a long second, Constantine thinks that he'll refuse and he might have to resort to more violent methods of persuasion—which, honestly, Constantine has fantasised about many times during the more boring JL meetings—but eventually, Batman relents and steps out of the way.

"Fine. Nightwing, go check in with Red Robin."

Nightwing has the kind of devious smile that makes John glad he doesn't have kids.

"Oh, don't worry about it, B. Red Robin's coming here. So's Red Hood, I don't need to go anywhere."

"Nightwing—"

"Sh, it's starting." So saying, Nightwing then very obviously ignores Batman's protests with a poker face that even Constantine envies. What he wouldn't give to be able to shut the bat out like that.

The summoning goes quickly, thankfully. The lights flicker, the temperature drops, and the chalk circle erupts in green flames. Standard summoning practices, sure. Even the impromptu appearance of Red Hood and Red Robin—"Did we miss him?", "No, not yet! I got 2:37, what about you guys?"—doesn't throw him off.

It does pique his interest, though. Just what the hell is going on with them? Constantine's weighing up the pros and cons of asking them once all of this is over when the ground splits open and the clawed hand of the Ghost King begins to pull himself out of the ground.

John's a seasoned summoner. It's practically his job, he's done it countless times.

The icey fear that grips his heart, that freezes his breath in his chest, is new.

Pure, unadulterated power floods the area and he feels small, so, so small, like a child playing with things he doesn't understand. When he finally tears his eyes away from the portal, he catches a glimpse of the other magic users in the room, the same horror he feels clear in their faces. Even Captain Marvel stares slackjawed.

The pressure rises, death magic screaming in his ears, almost forcing him to his knees, and suddenly he's not so sure this is a good idea.

Too late to back out now, though.

Sickly green light pours from the crack in the ground, growing brighter and brighter as the giant figure rises, until Constantine has to close his eyes and look away. The last thing he sees are eyes, teeth, horns, a crown so bright that it burns an afterimage into his retinas.

When the light dies down and he opens his eyes again, a humanoid man floats in the centre of the circle. The ground is whole, nothing is burning, the man doesn't even have a crown. Instead, other than the wispy white hair, slightly green skin, and the—you know—floating, the Ghost King appears pretty normal. Huh.

Constantine blinks, rubbing his bleary eyes, and checks around to make sure everyone's okay. Most of the League are doing the same as him, taking fortifying breaths and trying to appear as if they've not just been completely blinded.

Most of them, that is, aside from the Gotham vigilantes.

Batman himself stands upright, arms crossed, looking completely unbothered by the whole thing and John's got to admit, he wishes he could do that, too. That was... a hell of a show.

The others, however, are waving frantically with huge smiles on their faces.

What?

There's a brief, taut silence, as everyone else tries to catch their breath.

As much as he would rather take a bit of a breather, John should probably start making introductions. Unfortunately, he only gets as far as opening his mouth before the Ghost King beats him to it.

"Oh, Ancients, hey guys! It's been forever, how are you? Look at you all, so grown up, wow—Nightwing, buddy, do a flip!"

It doesn't take much to get Nightwing going, and he certainly doesn't leave it at one flip. The whole of the Justice League and Justice League Dark watch with open mouths as Nightwing performs for the Ghost King.

What, and John can't stress this enough, the fuck?

As soon as Nightwing rights himself, Red Hood swats him across the back of the head and calls him a show off.

The Ghost King just laughs as he claps. "There's my little monkey, look at you go! And I'm loving that leather jacket, Hood, is that new? Looks good on you, really your colour. Brings out the red in your helmet."

"Thanks, Uncle D. At least someone around here appreciates fashion."

"Are you kidding me, you know I breathe fashion, need I remind—"

"Need I remind you of the Discowing incident?"

"That was era-appropriate and you know it! Uncle D, tell him it was era-appropriate!"

"It was era-appropriate, but so are crocs and it doesn't make them fashionable." The Ghost King—and holy shit, is this actually the Ghost King? Or did Constantine just accidentally summon a deceased family member, what the fuck is happening here?—turns to look at Red Robin with a smile, resolutely ignorning the argument he created. "How you doing, Double R? You get that tablet Tucker made for you?"

"Yes, thank you! It's so cool, how did he—"

"How's Tucker doing?" Batman interrupts, his hands now hidden underneath his cape.

As soon as the question leaves his lips, everyone groans. Red Robin makes a show of lifting up his wrist and staring at it intently.

"Incredible," Red Hood mutters with a shake of his head.

Even the Ghost King seems put out, rolling his eyes and answering in a flat tone as if he knows Batman isn't interested in what he has to say.

Not for the first time, Constantine feels like he's missing something.

"Tucker's doing very well, thank you for asking."

What follows is the most awkward silence Constantine has ever had the pleasure to be a part of.

All three of the Gotham vigilantes, including the Ghost King, are staring at Batman, waiting for something. Batman's cloak shifts as if he's moving his hands, fidgeting. If Constantine didn't know any better, he'd say he was nervous.

"Good. That's good, I'm glad to hear it."

Instead of saying anything else, the Ghost King just raises his eyebrows and continues to stare at Batman. Has he offended him in some way? Are they all going to die because of this?

After what seems like an agonising few minutes but could only really be a few seconds, Batman's shoulders dip and he takes a breath. "And Jazz?"

They all erupt into shouts, the Ghost King being the loudest. The only thing John can make out is when the Ghost King throws his hand in the air to point at Red Robin with a shout of "Time!"

"1:30.91, we got 1:30.91 on the clock, who's closest?"

"Did you even try to hold it in at all, old man? I'm so disappointed in you. People think you're cool. People think you're suave, I don't understand how they could be so wrong."

"Thank you for that, Hood."

"No, thank you, I won. Again. Because you're so predictable. Actually, I had one minute seventeen, so you held out longer than I thought you would."

Batman pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs loudly.

Constantine feels like doing the same thing.

Whatever. He's going to have to interrupt... whatever this is. There's still a rampaging demon heading their way that they've got to bargain for. He can untangle Batman's personal connection to the Ghost King later. Or he could leave it alone and forget everything about it.

Yeah, he'll do that one.

But before he can actually open his mouth to say anything, the Ghost King, again, beats him to it.

"So, B-Man, did you summon me here for a particular reason, or was it really just so you could ask about Jazz?"

There's a beat of silence before Batman mutters, "I asked about Tucker, too. We've not seen each other in so long, it's only polite."

"And I'm sure you meant it, you're the paragon of manners." The Ghost King nods slow and wide-eyed as if he doesn't believe him at all.

At this point, even Constantine doesn't believe him.

"It has been forever, though." The Ghost King muses, bringing his hand to his chin and folding his legs underneath him. "We should all get together sometime! If you get Alfie to make some of his cookies again, I'll get Clockwork to lend us a pocket dimension where we can spend as much time as we want, deal?"

"It's a deal."

No hesitation at all, incredible.

Hold on. Wait. John has to fight the urge to pinch himself, because this has to be a dream, right? Is Batman actually smiling? He didn't even know he could do that.

An itch niggles at the back of John's mind. He's starting to get an inkling of what's going on here and it's... weird, to say the least.

"Oooh," Nightwing singsongs, like a child in a playground tickled by the very idea of romance.

But then, who's he to judge? John's no stranger to strange bedfellows, that's for sure. Whoever this Jazz is, she must be something incredible—she'd have to be, if Batman can't even go two minutes without asking about her.

"Batman and Jasmine sitting in a tree," Nightwing continues, with both Red Hood and Red Robin joining in for the rest. "K—I—S—S—I—"

"Stop," Batman growls, completely drowned out by the Ghost King's laughter, but...

But.

It all suddenly clicks for John.

The Ghost King Phantom.

Her Royal Highness, Princess Jasmine Phantom.

Jazz.

"Holy shit, mate," John breathes, unable to stop himself as everyone looks his way. "You have the hots for the Princess of the Infinite Realms?"

The Justice League meeting room has never descended into chaos quicker.

[befuddled-calico-whump]

Total $hit$how: Thorns Around His Throat

in which Hunter makes a choice

cw: referenced violence, manipulation, crude language, vaguely alluded past dubcon, brief emeto mention. Further warnings will be in the tags for spoiler purposes.

previous // masterlist // next

×~×~×

“Where was he taken?”

“I don't know, I—I saw a van, I remember part of the plate.”

“They can't be too far. We need to find him.”

Jericho and makeup guy were spouting back and forth, nervous colors buzzing around their heads like tv static. Hunter probably should've left as soon as makeup guy (Benny or whatever) came in. Gone back to his room, gone back to Vic, something. Should've left before Jericho could start digging into him, looking for answers he didn't really want.

What was he gonna do about it? Hunter hurt Sahota and Vic told him to, so the fuck what? They were all stuck here until the mission was done, whether they liked Vic’s methods or not. Hunter would find a way to stay, earn it however he had to, whether Jericho approved of it or not. 

He didn't need his approval. He didn't need to listen to him. Jericho had a family. Kids or something. Parents who still wanted to know where he was even as a grown ass adult. He didn't get it, couldn't get it.

And anyway, Vic hadn't meant it. He was just testing Hunter, just making sure he really wanted it, making sure he could listen. And even if he did mean it, who cared? Hunter had done worse things for worse people, taken beatings for bosses who didn't give a shit about him. At least Vic cared. At least Vic would tell him he did good when it was all over.

He wondered if Sahota was in the same boat. What had got him to stay? It wasn't something Hunter'd thought about before now, even though it had always been obvious that this was more than just a job to Sahota. Did Vic bandage his cuts after the interrogation? Tell him good job while he bled? The mental image made him want to cringe away. Wounds he'd caused, twinging jealousy in his stomach.

Sahota was scared of Vic, but Hunter was a little bit scared of him too. He had no doubt Vic could break him apart if he wanted. Put him in his place just like he had with Sahota.

“Is Joy back?”

“She should be by now.”

“We'll need her help. I don't think—” Benny glanced at Hunter, the yellow haze around him darkening a shade. He lowered his voice, but Hunter still heard him.

“Do we tell Vic?”

“Yeah,” Hunter said. Because he looked away. Because he was trying to keep it from him. “I'll get him.”

“I'll get him,” Jericho said, and the purple in his core swirled with a darker shade. Because of Vic? Because of Hunter? Or was he just afraid for Manak, who was stupid enough to get nabbed?

Vic wouldn't be happy. Maybe he'd order them to leave it, let Manak stay kidnapped, wipe the arrogant look off his face. The thought was supposed to be vindicating, but then he pictured Manak, tied up, bleeding like Sahota—

Fuck. Fuck this. 

Jericho left him alone with makeup guy, who stayed standing, arms twisted around himself, silent. Hunter looked away from his nervous, shifting yellow, looking for something else, anything else, even as his head pounded along with his heart.

The headaches were basically background noise now, a constant dull pain that could be ignored. At least for a little while, at least when he wasn't trying to find something specific. His eyesockets still throbbed from trying to find a path through the computer earlier, but it was fine. It was fine.

Jericho came back before long, the dark spot in his chest bigger than it was before. Vic was a few steps behind him, followed by muscle girl, and… Sahota. His face was swollen, mottled with purple and red. Same cold eyes, not even looking Hunter's way. Same slate gray.

Hunter turned his attention to his hands, nails digging at the scabbed-over part of his knuckles, focusing on the blooming rosepetals there as his stomach tried to twist itself loose.

“Tell me what happened,” Vic said above him, and Hunter glanced up in time to see Benny tear his eyes off Sahota's busted face, a dark ribbon coiling around his throat.

“Shit,” he whispered, his voice shaking, and Hunter dropped his head, pinching the inside of his wrist until daisies began to bloom there.

“Mr. Ruebin.”

“Fuck. Yeah. We, we found the drop site, but it was rigged with some kind of alarm. Some guys showed up in a van, and just… grabbed Kaius. Drove away. I— I don't even know what direction, I just ran.”

“Was it Finley?” Muscle girl spoke up.

“I don't know who else it would be.”

“Did you find anything at the site?” Vic said.

“Wh— no. Kaius is gone, isn't that more important?”

“The mission is more important.”

He could hear Jericho exhale. “Can't we do both? If we find Kaius, we'll find Finley. Won't that help?”

“We don't have the time.”

“Don't we need him for the mission?”

Even though what he was saying made sense, every word of pushback wound Hunter tighter. If Vic said no, it was for a reason, right? Vic knew better, right?

“We can accomplish what we need to with only four of you.”

“But—”

“Or maybe three.”

Hunter could read the threat there without even looking up, and Jericho didn't say anything else.

“What happens to him then?” Muscle girl cut in, and Hunter's nails dug in deeper at her words.

“He's smart, isn't he? I'm sure he'll find a way out.”

“Just let two of us go after him. It doesn't need to be the whole team.”

“We have other things to get done. Can't spare anyone.”

“Not even for a night? I won't sleep. Sahota…”

Hunter looked up again when she said his name, but the handler's gray was as cold as ever. His brows tipped down as she looked up at him, something darkening in his chest.

Was it fear again? He knew what Hunter knew, what everyone else refused to accept; Vic was in charge here. You couldn't push against him. This had only happened because of their defiance in the first place. If they'd just listened, they could've picked a different target.

“Even if we let you go, the chance of you finding him is slim at best," Sahota said in an empty voice. "Better to not waste any more time.”

Muscle girl's color deflated like an old balloon, dimming as it crumpled in on itself.

“Glad we're all on the same page,” Vic said. “It's unfortunate the drop site yielded so little, but we're capable of moving forward. Mr. Davis, we'll check your traps first thing in the morning and you can work on gathering data from there. Everyone else, start working on an entry plan. Mission's set for the end of the week. Are we clear?”

Hunter nodded, keeping his eyes on the ground. It didn't matter if Benny and the others knew he'd hurt Sahota. It didn't matter if Jericho was mad at him, or thought he was an idiot. All he had to do was make it to the end of the week without fucking up, and then everything would be okay. He glanced up in time to see Vic leave, Sahota tailing behind him. The other three stayed in place, settled in a stubborn kind of quiet.

He could tell they wanted to talk to each other, held back by his presence. Even Jericho knew he'd side with Vic now, just as much as he knew they wanted to oppose him. Would they be dumb enough to actually act on it though? An uneven trail of stars was swirling around muscle girl, a few of them breaking loose to pass Jericho. When she left the room in silence, he followed a few steps behind. Benny gave it a few minutes, arms still wrapped around himself, and then left the library after them.

They had to be going to the same place. To talk where Hunter wouldn't hear, to cook up another plot against Vic, as if that wouldn't get them in even more trouble. He knew they wanted to go after Manak, that Jericho’s "we're a team" extended more to him than it ever would to Hunter. Could he stop them? He knew they wouldn't listen---why the fuck would they?---but he could threaten to tell Vic. 

He could tell Vic. Show the others once and for all that he cared more about his place here than any of them, that he'd rather chase Vic's approval than Manak’s life, and that was the truth, wasn't it? It was Manak's own fault that this happened, not Hunter's, so why should he have to suffer for it? Why should Manak get to drag everyone else down with him?

With gritted teeth, Hunter left the library, trying to ignore the throbbing in his eye sockets as he looked for the stars muscle girl was dropping. They went back to Jericho's room, it looked like. Door closed, voices muffled inside. 

Should he just knock? Make the threat and hope it was enough to scare them into reason? His fist clenched, but his arm wouldn't budge. Instead he held his breath, trying to listen.

“...after dark is our best chance, right? Vic's gotta sleep at some point.”

“There's a truck up top. I can drive us.”

"How far was it?"

"About an hour."

"I can cut that down."

That was enough to confirm what Hunter already knew. He wasn't surprised, but maybe… a little bothered that they wouldn't listen. A little bothered that they were so sure he'd snitch that they didn't even consider inviting him in.

Well. He would. So they were fucking right about that, he guessed.

But... what if he didn't?

Hunter considered the option for a moment. The idea of walking away, going to bed, trying to sleep off this damn headache, getting up the next day like nothing was off. What would happen if he let them go, but then told them he'd known all along? Would that open up a way for them to trust him? To not hate his fucking guts?

And what happens then?

So maybe they could work together better. Maybe they could be a team, like Jericho said. Maybe even friends, even if it was stupid to expect that much. But then they'd run the mission and it would all be over. Everyone else would go home, and he'd… 

Alone again. Jelly and the rest didn't wait for you, you knew they wouldn't.

Would Vic still want him to stay if he knew Hunter'd kept something like this from him? 

Probably not, not if he knew he couldn't trust him. Lies never worked for long. Hidden things were always found. 

Vic had already promised him a chance at being part of something, something he'd never get from the rest of the team. And maybe Sahota hated him, but let him. Hunter'd lived with plenty of people who'd hated him and survived it, but if Vic kicked him out, he didn't know where he'd go next. Back to Chicago to try and get back into dealing? Back to Rex? He shuddered.

No. Not an option. Fuck the team. They'd already sided against him, why should he try now? It wasn't like he was really screwing them over anyway. They'd done it to themselves when they decided to defy Vic.

Hunter stumbled backwards, trying not to make a sound as he crossed the hall, making a beeline for Vic’s office. When he pushed the door open, his trainer was standing at the head of his desk, flipping through sheets of paper. The green drifting around Vic’s form sharpened with his gaze, a darker shade that might've been annoyance softening when he realized who it was.

At least someone wasn't pissed off at the sight of him.

“Hunter.”

He swallowed. “V--Sir.” Shit, where did he start? He felt like a snitch, but shouldn't he? No. Fuck. Whatever. Vic was looking at him with his eyebrows raised now, new color tainting his green. Fuck.

“Sorry. It's important,” he said. “They're… the other three are gonna go after Manak. I overheard them.” He swallowed again, eyes darting away from Vic's desk, hands twisting around themselves. Vic's color hardly shifted. It got… darker, maybe. Sharper somehow, but there was no flash of surprise or anger. 

“I thought it might happen eventually. They're an emotional lot. Unfortunately, that's what you get pulling from the general public.” He set down the stack of papers, falling silent.

“Y-yeah,” Hunter agreed, pinching the skin on the inside of his wrist as hard as he could, eyes dropping to watch daisies sprout from the reddening skin. “Are you gonna stop them?” It felt wrong to ask.

Vic hummed. “No,” he said after a moment. “They can have their crusade. I'll deal with it in the morning.”

Hunter glanced up, but Vic's color was static. He was just gonna let them go? Why?

“What if they don't come back?”

Vic let out a flat chuckle. “They'll come back.”

How did he know? Maybe he didn't. Maybe he just didn't care. Maybe if everyone else ditched it'd just be Hunter, Vic, and Sahota on the mission. Like how it would be in the future, if he managed to not fuck it up.

“Come here.”

Hunter glanced up again, saw Vic pointing at the desk chair. Vic's chair. His tone wasn't trouble, or a warning like it had been for Sahota a few days ago. It was almost something welcoming, almost something soft.

Hunter took the seat, trying not to fidget, trying to keep his attention on Vic. The smell of chlorine stung his nose.

“You have your priorities straight, Hunter,” Vic said, moving beside him to tuck the papers into a folder. “You know what's important, even if the rest of them cave to their feelings.”

“Manak… Manak would be fine on his own,” Hunter said. He didn't know why. Manak didn't matter, he didn't care about Manak.

“True,” Vic said. “But more than logic, I appreciate your loyalty. The importance of obedience is lost on the rest of them. Something that should be corrected before we get into the thick of things.”

“Yeah.” Hunter’s spine seemed to go even straighter when his trainer moved to stand behind him, laying both hands on his shoulders, the chlorine smell clinging to him, smothering.

“I’m proud of the choice you made tonight. You'll be a wonderful addition to my team.”

Light seemed to burst through the tangle of vines in his chest. This was what he wanted, what he needed. He could be whatever Vic asked him to, he could stay.

He could stay, he could stay, he could stay.

It rang through his head, seeming to rise with his heartbeat as a calloused hand gripped his jaw and lifted his head, fingers digging into his cheek, holding him still as Vic’s lips pressed into his.

I can stay, I can be—

The chlorine smell was choking him now, burning his throat, and all he could do was sit there, any thoughts or words or movements split like broken wire.

Vic pulled back, just inches, but Hunter still couldn't move.

“Vic—”

“Shh.” The hand left his chin, moving up to his hair, turning from a stroke to a jerk that pulled a startled yelp from Hunter.

Somehow, the chlorine smell got stronger at the sound, Vic's mouth covering his again.

He felt like he couldn't breathe. “I don't—”

“You want to be a part of my team, hm?” Vic murmured, breath hot and chemical on Hunter's face. “Don't you?”

Yes. But not… he hadn't pictured this.

“I…”

Vic straightened, his hands leaving Hunter, color darkening. “Or maybe not,” he said, his voice immediately cool. “Maybe I misjudged you.”

“No, that's not—”

“Don't lie to me.” The words weren't screamed, or the danger-quiet of a threat, but they were still sharp, twisting in his gut like a knife.

“Vic, I'm— no, I didn't mean that.”

“Then what did you mean? I've poured a lot of time into you. Gave your training a level of attention the others could never hope to earn.”

Is this what he earned? 

“I'm sorry,” Hunter mumbled, digging his nails into his palms. “I just— You surprised me.” 

“I'm not sure I believe you.” The way Vic’s green was growing darker made him want to throw up. Had he already lost his chance?

“I'll prove it. I won't— I was just caught off guard, please.”

Vic seemed to consider his words, the murkiness in his green dissolving as he stepped closer, seized Hunter's chin, and pulled him into another kiss. This time, Hunter kissed him back, trying, trying to show that he meant it, that he could do this, that this was okay.

“There we go,” Vic murmured against his ear. “Good boy.”

He wanted this, he wanted this. He just wanted to be wanted, he was wanted, it didn't matter how.

Hunter leaned into his trainer, trying to lock onto his body heat and not the heavy smell, but Vic stepped away, a fist bunching into the collar of his t-shirt, tight enough to almost choke him.

“I knew I made the right choice, taking a chance on you.”

Hunter tried to shift his weight, to let up some of the pressure from his throat.

“You know how to follow orders, don't you, Hunter?”

“Yeah.” He could, he'd be perfect, and fuck, Vic was looking at him in a way that could've been loving but it made his skin crawl, and his head hurt so bad. Vic gave the fabric of his collar a sharper twist, and Hunter moved with his fist, knees nearly caving in. He could feel the blood building up in his throat, but Vic's gaze was soft on him, his green brightening with something pleasant; he liked this.

Was it so bad if he did? Hunter could take it. He'd had partners with a thing for pain before and it wasn't that bad. Sometimes it was even fun, just handing over control, letting someone do whatever they fucking wanted to him, anything to get them to stay, anything to get them to want to be there.

“Look at you,” Vic murmured in a voice that felt silken and heavy. “There's something you're suited for.”

His grip loosened abruptly, letting Hunter hit the ground, the brightness never leaving his silhouette.

“I'm finished here for the night,” his trainer said, turning his back as Hunter stood, weight heavy on the office chair. “Why don't you come with me?”

Where? To his room? To bed? Hunter's stomach churned, but he nodded all the same. He wanted this. He liked Vic, he liked Vic liking him, he was just caught off-guard. He wasn't supposed to be caught off-guard. He was adaptable, he could roll with anything, withstand anything, do anything Vic wanted.

Is this what it's like to be loved?

Maybe, fucking maybe.

Vic's eyes were still on him. “What’s your implant showing you right now?”

Petals and vines, coiling inside and around him like anxious snakes. Murky carwash-soap rainbow in his head, filling up his skull with a building pressure, oozing out his eye sockets. Thorns around his throat.

“Dead silver,” he lied. It was what he saw back in the room, with Sahota. The warning before, spinning around them both. The shapes dropping like zapped bugs and melting on the ground. Where were they now? When he looked for shapes, all he could find were Cavan’s stupid stars, fading slowly.

“Where does it lead? To me?”

I want this, I want this, I'll stay, I'll learn.

Hunter rubbed his throat unconsciously, forcing his arm to drop when he realized what he was doing. The pain there was hardly an ache. If that was what Vic wanted, that's what Vic would get.

“Mhm.”

×~×~×

@theonewithallthefixations , @violets-whumperflies , @whump-me , @pirefyrelight , @soheavyaburden

@snakebites-and-ink , @whumpsday , @kixngiggles , @echo-goes-aaa , @whumpcateyes ,

@clickerflight , @sodacreampuff , @starfields08000 , @neverthelass

[comfysofti]

Some thoughts on The Fury because im absolutely obsessed with her and still can't get over the fact how much she was expanded

Aka me rambling about how I see her chapter, whatever, idk how else to call this-

Everything's under the cut

(｡>﹏<｡)

No matter how you get Fury, through Tower or Adversary, it's always circles back to her inflicting her pain on you. But is she wrong for doing that? I don't really think so

"This one is desecration. She placed the weight of her agony on you, yet it is she who unwound herself. There is passion and empathy buried under her unfeeling skin. She will make for a weathered heart."

What is desecration?

Desecration - the action of damaging or showing no respect towards something holy or very much respected

In one way or another, we do desecrate her. Or lead her in doing so to herself. In Adversery, despite there being multiple scenarios leading to Fury, we still desecrate her or lead her to desecration by denying her what she wants, what she believes we want too - a good fight. Even if it means dying over and over. To get one of her achievements, you have to kill her, even if for a brief moment. Her bloodlust, and us, the player, not satisfying it, leads to her desecration in a way. Overwhelmed with anger and agony, Fury from Adversary still thrives for combat and is, rather ecstatic if player defyingly keeps approaching her, and tries to fight her even as we're getting unwound

In terms of Tower this is more obvious. There's only one way for us to get to Fury through her - make her force her hand on us, someone she sees as something lowly. She believes herself to be an unstoppable god, something holy and sacred. And how dare we, not only, hurt and defy her authority, but also make her force her hand on us? She's arrogant and selfish, so when this happens, she feels like she was tainted. Like we - a mere mortal, nothing but a rock under her feet, tainted her very being. Overwhelmed with anger she wants to take revenge on us, for denying her ascension and turning her into Fury. She believes it's all our fault. For we tainted her flesh, for we dared to break the leash she was using on us

Either of them can end up unwounding you. Atom by atom. And when she does so, she wants to make us understand her. Her pain. Her change

"are you still there? Are you still you?"

Fury from Adversary starts to unwound us to make us continue the fight. To return the spark of bloodlust. Fury from Tower unwounds us to hurt us and destroy us. But is that what they truly want? Just our suffering and nothing else? In the endless cycle?

"What is a person? Is it their body? Is it all of their body? Pluck the eyes, peel the skin, strip the tendons, mince the meat, grind the bones. When it is all gone, do you still have who you started with?"

We changed her drastically. We changed her into this monster of flesh, only capable of pain and hurt. Only capable of unwounding and hurting and destroying and changing. But never healing. She isn't something positive. She's pain, anger, hatred

She wants us to understand how much pain we had brought upon her flesh to make her into this monstrosity. She unwounds us. She changes us in ways that makes it impossible for us to exist. Just like we did with her. She wants us to understand, yet we can't

We only feel pain from her actions. We'll never understand her. Because she can unwound us time and time again, but in the end of the day, we'll never know what she's thinking. We'll never truly know her pain. Unless we would share body and mind with her

That's why she unwounds herself as well, trying to fuse us together. She presents herself to us at her weakest, most naked form. Offering her very heart for you. To make you one. To make you truly understand. To feel what she felt. To see what she sees

But before we're able to do that, she's taken away

"Do not mourn her - she has finally found peace."

She found her peace once she was reunited with Shifting Mound, but even after she was, we still can't understand her, can't we?

[purlturtle]

Here's to everyone who made it through the holidays by the skin of their teeth.

Here's to the respite after.

Don't worry if you have a day (or five) where you're down and exhausted - you masked and fronted and swallowed a lot; give yourself some grace while you recuperate from that.

Rest now, be kind to yourself (and to others who might be in the same boat).

(especially in the northern hemisphere where days are short and dreary this time of year.)

[chicago-geniza]

Okay I feel BAD. But we have matzo ball soup and ginger ale and green juice and Earl Grey tea en route and I believe that we will win. In the war against Raya's compromised immune system I am joining the side of Raya's compromised immune system

[shabbyshoebox]

Gave myself a migraine by playing too much Stardew and I took a fat nap, it went away,

And now I'm playing Stardew

[natasha-in-space]

Actually, now that I think about it, Jaehee probably has no idea that she can be perceived as 'pretty' or 'beautiful' by someone. She has stated multiple times that she does not care much for her looks when it comes to appearing 'pretty', she has given up on dating altogether (and while it was definitely mostly due to how busy she is, I can't help but think that, on some level, it left her feeling at least somewhat 'unattractive'), and she is very visibly stumped whenever Zen or you actually compliment her on anything besides her wits and abilities. I feel like she has come to terms with being the stereotypical 'smart reliable friend' that is there to give advice, but never actually does or gets anything for herself.

It's only when you come into her life and start encouraging her to actually seek out her own happiness, no matter how small or silly it is, does she start expressing her desires to change something in her appearance. That she'd like to grow out her hair. That she doesn't actually need glasses. That there are some clothes she finds cute or comfy.

Can't help but think of her slowly finding genuine fulfillment through experimenting with her appearance. Her looking at herself in the mirror one day, after a nice and lovely shopping date with you, and, for the first time in a while, finding herself thinking that she looks pretty. Trying out new makeup looks, cute dresses, silly matching sweaters with you that will leave her giggling whenever she puts them on. And, as her hair grows longer, fiddling with all kinds of hairstyles, from quick and easy to elaborate and fancy. It's all so new, but so liberating.

I love how you can kind of see that progression in her through the CG's. Starting with her strictly professional looks and gradually morphing into more comfy and cutesy clothes we sometimes get to see on her.

Oh how I wish we could see how long-haired Jaehee dresses casually...