#my memory has been sticking a bit better at least
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oh-no-its-bird · 2 days ago
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HELPPP IM CRYING ACTUALLY IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THEM???? HONORED TBH????? I love these silly little guys SO much I'm losing my mind over here that u like them enough to write smthn so long ab it, omg don't look at me rn I'm crying
I never thought too much ab Haruka's voice before but tbh now what u described it that way that's just the Official Haruka Voice Take (tm) actually, that is how she sounds now
"I've got nothing better to do, I think she's funny and I want to reinforce her bad habits <3" is so fucking funny and so fucking accurate, this is exactly what is happening in the twins minds actually.
In my notes for their personalities in my notesapp, I just wrote "They're genuinley just the fucking WORST to deal with. Their "I'm going to cause problems on purpose" dials got cranked up to 10 and got stuck that way at birth" which I think sums it up nicely.
I've been writing silly small stuff for them lately to hoard jealously in my notesapp and I think Haru has a genuine mean streak while Hiro is a lot more bark than bite— but also Haru looks and talks a bit gentler while Hiro acts and sounds rougher, so they often give off the opposite impressions. Don't worry Hiro, your brother will do what you aren't strong enough to (crime)
There's all sorts of fun layers to it too, like, considering they're from a clan who tries to shelter it's children— but they're also from the infamously bloody warring states period, who had to bring up their children much quicker and rougher than modern. I think Hiro would have made a wonderful modern day shinobi while Haru is a good example of the inherent violence of the warring states, just buried under good cheer and playfulness. Mmmm phycology,,,
I love their little trio with Shiruka, they are besties and she's also their first real friend their age, while she's kind of but not quite an outcast in her own clan due to her parents poor standing. She's older sibling coded and so tired of their shit but also quietly, perpetually amused by it, which is probably part of why she sticks around. That, plus their clear undying loyalty towards anything and anyone considered "theirs"— a list she's made it on and does her best to reply in kind
They are holding hands and will continue to hold hands together till they inevitably die at ~19 for the good of the village, yippie !!!
At least they'll get to live on in the memory of Hiname,,
Just kidding she dies like 3 years later, whoops!
BUT YEAH THEM !!! I love them so much, I had way too much fun thinking ab just the ecosystem for young shinobi in early konoha.
I have so many more thoughts ab it all tbh, theres no doubt tons of things happening as so many different people and clans settle in to a new normal but I ofc have my focus
I think I accidentally created some sort of little mystery/conflict with my silly meme of Shiruka going "he wants to order break into my clan heirs house" while also stating that she and her family aren't currently in good standing with the Nara main family.
I wasn't thinking ab it too hard when I drew it but now I'm sat over here like "girl why are you helping Haru break into your clan heirs home when you're already most likley on their (or at least their parents) shit list?? Who is the clan heir and why does Haru want to break into their house?? What drama is this??"
I'll probably think harder about it later, I feel like there's potential there
I need to stop thinking so hard ab potential early konoha narrative things bc I refuse to be consumed by it and know I very much will give in to The Voices if I continue
I say that but I'm absoloutley going to continue to think ab them. Actually.
Ough,,, Wolves of the Woods my beloved,,, one day I'll write u,,, one day,,
That said I'm also enamored with Tetsuo as clan heir (someone get him out of there!!!) He's great at it but also really, really does not want the position.
I think when he was younger and Tobirama was visiting the clan, he point blank begged him to take the position— But Tobirama said no, he's a Senju through and through and he's proud to be second to his Anija. A week later, and Tetsuo officially got the title (and maybe cried about it but only just a little and only on the inside)
(Tetsuo is still nursing a tiny grudge over this, though it's lessened slightly since Sakumo's birth)
POV he's in an especially bitchy mood and Tobirama asks him something and he just kind of grumbles, "oh, I'm sorry, are you my clan heir?"
Queue ??????? from like half of those present
He's so cute tho I think he has my favorite design of all of them. He dresses the fanciest for sure— Haruka totally owns similar things (I think the half and half haori is super cute and I want it to be a clan staple) but only wears it on occasions where she needs to, while he's more traditional/conscious of himself and his position, so he dresses like that all the time. He's probably the guy they send to the capital whenever it's necessary and the clan heads presence isn't needed
Random early konoha oc fun fact no one asked for: I have a vague messy fic idea from months ago now that basically amounts to "the Hatake's die before Madara defects to the village, and Kabuto, in practicing Orochimaru's edo tensei in preparation for the final battle, revives them— then manages to lose them in transport before they wake up. Not knowing any better, they flock to Madara to help in his fight"
I love time travel I love drama I love horrible misunderstandings and family/clan drama !!!!!
Uhh take some notes from that:
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ANYWAYS THANKS SO MUCH IM SO GLAD U LIKE THEM SORRY FOR MY WORD VOMIT I JUST GET SO EXCITED AB THEM I COULD EXPLODE WITH IT ACTUALLY
Silly, early Konoha lore and oc things drawn while thinking about this post
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!!! early konoha my beloved !!! I have so many thoughts ab it, I want to write a fic that's just silly early Konoha things viewed from the perspective of the less important clan members and their everyday lives. I'm aware the audience for that is incredibly small but I have too much fun just thinking ab it to really care!
Ichigo remains the only naruto oc Ive ever actually written for (in one step three steps), tho Haruka has been mentioned in multiple fics of mine now just bc she fills the role of Tobirama + Hashirama's blood aunt that I needed to be filled in my "Kakashi interacts with Tobirama w the knowledge that they are directly related" fics, of which there are now multiple
but yeah, take some silly art and lore comics !! I had fun while making these and will now probably put all these ocs on a shelf where I will not touch them for some more months
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karofsky · 3 months ago
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brain fog/fatigue double hitter being especially bad this last week has me rolling into another monday stressed and way behind on work again... hoping it turns around by friday 🤞🏻
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mayvnwrites · 3 months ago
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Just a weird au i have to unload from my head or else I'll never get anything done.
The System screws up and sticks SY in the wrong qi-deviating Peak Lord, freaks out and tried to undo it, and x number of svsss shenanigans later, there are two Qi Qingqis staring at each other from their sickbed.
SY promptly freaks out and outs himself as a dude in a lady's body, which QQQ is understandably pissed as all hell about ... until SY's very modern politically correct upbringing starts freaking out about how it's a betrayal to the girls on xian shu peak if he's allowed in it and how absolutely disrespectful this is to QQQ that some dude can see a perfect copy of her body etc etc ... and then she's like, oh no, he's *pathetic* and it's *adorable*.
SY is QQQ's didi now, but he still has to be rigorously tested for demonization and is declared to be just a poor wandering soul that got yoinked into a weird situation thanks to QQQ's qi deviation. MQF tries various things to help SY adapt to the body, but SY is all female all the way now, which, when he finds out he can avoid periods bc cultivator, he's all for since QQQ's body is way better than his prev one. The tincture that tries to meld body and soul does at least reduce his breast size, which thank GODS bc holy hell jiejie, how do you even deal with these?
SJ is his normal bitchy self... except he can't help but be a little curious about what it's like being a woman, and having been there for SY's freak out he feels... the slightest bit of a kindred spirit to a man who holds women in such high regard (bc ancient china). Also SY is a woman now, although he still calls himself a didi instead of a meimei, so... anyway, SJ's walls are slowly torn down and it ends in Shenbros somehow, with SJ and QQQ competing for title of best elder sibling. (SJ is aroace in this au.)
No one tells LQG about the two QQQ's for the longest time, and he is extremely confused at the softer(in personality) vers and why her boob size keeps fluctuating. He is very torn between his "just bros" sparring buddy (QQQ) and the... one who makes him feel... things (SY) and is not-gay panicking like crazy.
The System blocked SY's knowledge of PIDW and fked off in terror of the Main System finding out about its screw up, so SY didn't realize anything until LBH appears and his memory is unlocked (bc deus ex binghe), but by then he's invested in Cang Qiong and the Peak Lords' wellbeings, Jiu-ge is a lot more well-adjusted, and all the Xianshu ladies are addicted to trashy romance novels and have no time for rl pretty boys so...
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drabblesandsnippets · 17 days ago
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Safe
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Plus-size female character (unnamed)
Background: TW: (Past) SA. During times when old traumatic memories start to pop up again (for whatever random reason/trigger), I find myself seeking out art that I can connect with to help me process things. Over the years, I’ve spent endless hours searching for stories/books where the main character is dealing with sexual trauma while also trying to have/maintain a healthy sex life - this is my attempt to write that type of story (without delving into the details of the trauma).
Summary: (4k) TW: (Past) SA. Bucky’s girlfriend craves intimacy while struggling with triggers and flashbacks.
Warnings: 18+ Only. TW: Mention of past SA/trauma (very vague), flashbacks (including during sex), anxiety. Established relationship. Bucky doesn’t always sleep with his prosthetic on (who else has this headcanon?). Fluff. Praise. Enthusiastic consent. Soft and sweet Bucky. Pet names (doll, sweetheart, baby). (Unprotected) PiV. Aftercare.
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Trauma has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. 
One minute, you’re laughing and dancing in the kitchen with your boyfriend, his hands around your waist while he sings a song from the 40’s, and the next thing you know, you’re leaning over the sink, your knees nearly giving out as you try to remember how to breathe. 
All it took was one fleeting press of Bucky against your back and you were suddenly transported to a different time, your mind taking you back to those moments when your life irrevocably changed.
Other times, it’s less conspicuous. 
You’re on the back of his motorcycle, enjoying a peaceful ride outside the city, taking the scenic route to enjoy a bit more time together, when you’re hit with a wave of anxiety. Something in your brain made a connection to the past, and the only signal you can give Bucky is a tighter hold around his torso.
There’s not much that fazes him, given his own history and lingering struggles, but it doesn’t always make it easier. You oscillate between wanting to talk it all out and just wanting to pretend you’re fine - Bucky doing his best to meet you wherever you’re at, trying to ease your burden as best he can.
When you’re really lucky, it’s a momentary thing, your mind allowing the memory to fade so you can focus on the present. When that happens, you get to go weeks, sometimes months, without it happening again.
Of course, you’re not always that lucky. There are times when it invades the rest of your day, seeping into moments it has no business being a part of. Trying to control parts of your life that you swore it’d never touch. 
And then, there are times like now, when it sticks around. When it feels like the smallest thing sets you off, brief flashes of things you’d rather not have to think about playing out behind your eyes. Your body constantly on edge, giving you no reprieve, even when the memories finally fade out.
You’re not sure how many days it’s been, or what the initial trigger even was, your mind too preoccupied with trying not to take a trip down memory lane. The only lifeline you can cling to is knowing you have a partner who supports you as much as you support him, especially during dark times, refusing to give up on each other.
As painful as it all can be, it’s a familiar pattern, one you know you’ll eventually break free of, no matter how turbulent it gets. Until then, you ride the wave, doing everything you can to stay afloat, to allow yourself to continue to live your life, seek out the things that bring you joy and pleasure.
Yesterday was filled with laughter and adventures, Bucky taking you to some of his favorite places, whisking you off to the next destination when your anxiety started to get the better of you. As if he’s made it his mission to help you find your footing again.
Bucky’s love and patience is more than you could have ever hoped for, and as you wake up with him snuggled against your back, in the bed you’ve shared for years, the remnants of your dream trying to take hold, his name spills out of you, filling the dark silence.
In an instant, he’s awake enough to breathe your name in return, his voice husky with sleep as he asks, “You okay? S’wrong, doll?” Bucky’s aware it was probably another nightmare, or maybe a flashback, but he’s learned not to assume anything, giving you the space to decide if and how you want to be heard.
It’s not always that simple. Sometimes your voice can fail you, words getting trapped in your throat as you struggle to focus on the moment. You’re not even sure how to describe what’s happening, other than to admit that you feel on edge, like your skin is crawling, your body growing restless.
Bucky doesn’t need more explanation, his hand leaving its normal resting place on your thigh to slide along your back, his intention clear. His familiar touch draws the expected reaction out of you, a soft sigh of relief as a bit of tension leaves your body, his fingertips dancing across your shoulder blade.
Almost immediately you’re curling up, inviting him to keep going, his reverent touch spreading tingles across your skin. As intimate as it is, there’s nothing inherently sexual about it, Bucky wanting nothing more than to help you relax, to lull you back into a peaceful slumber.
Yet, your body seems to have other ideas, each tender caress of your back sending sparks of arousal to your core. It’s far from the first time, even over the past several days, but it’s yet another aspect of your relationship that gets thrown off balance during times like this.
Any other time, Bucky would read your subtle cues, happily accepting the silent invitation to touch more of you, to bring you unspeakable pleasure. Until you’re back on solid ground though, it’s not an option for him. He can’t risk pressuring you, the thought of adding more stress on top of everything you’re already struggling with too unbearable to him. 
You can’t exactly blame him. When the roles are reversed - when Bucky is dealing with his own trauma, ghosts of his past invading his mind - you follow his lead, offering him nothing more than a place to rest. A safe space, where he’s completely in control.
That’s what he’s been offering you since your brain decided to spend so much time in the past. Intimacy, in whatever form it takes, is on your terms, things never progressing unless you’re vocalizing your desires. 
Bucky’s patience is unyielding. No matter how much your soft, breathy noises of appreciation stir up his need for you, the path of his hand doesn’t alter. His fingertips continue to draw circles across your skin, exploring the contours of your back, as if he hasn’t already mapped every single inch of you. 
One of his favorite things is to touch you. To bring you comfort, to provide safety, and yes, when you allow him, to bring you pleasure. And right now, despite - or maybe because of - the turmoil broiling beneath the service, it’s what you need.
There’s a risk that things might overwhelm you. That you won’t be able to lose yourself in the moment. You try not to think about that, telling yourself that you at least deserve to try, knowing Bucky will help you through it, wherever it leads.
Your request for more remains subtle, a slight shift of your hips, pressing back into him, the evidence of his own arousal growing against your ass. Nothing changes for Bucky, his gentle touch following a trail up along your spine to the back of your neck, his thumb stroking a particular tense spot, refusing to take advantage of your trust in him.
There’s a part of you that wonders if you should just allow yourself to succumb to the sleep that’s threatening to overtake you again, but you miss him. And, as he drags the back of his fingers down to the dip of your waist, you moan softly, your thighs tensing with need, seeking out friction.
Bucky knows exactly what he’s doing to you, each pass of his hand along sensitive flesh making you tremble, goosebumps spreading across your skin. It’s not long before he’s able to smell you, the knowledge that his touch turns you on so much nearly enough to make him lose his resolve.
Somehow he remains steadfast, even as you shift again, arching your back and angling your hips to find more pressure, his erection trapped against the curve of your ass. There’s an ache building inside of him to grind against you, to give you what your body is so obviously asking for, your shuddering sighs encouraging him to keep touching you, waiting for permission that he knows might not come.
It’s more than okay if it doesn’t, Bucky content with easing your burdens in whatever way you’ll allow him. It’s a privilege he’ll never take for granted. 
As is the privilege of getting to bring you more pleasure. And the moment you whisper his name, followed by a barely audible utterance of “please,” he’s asking you what you need. Desperate to give you everything you desire.
It provides the catalyst to empower you to ask for more, telling him how good he feels as you shamelessly rub against him, Bucky’s own heavy breaths and words of love spurring you on. The gentle caress of his fingers never cease, tentatively dipping lower to tease along your hip, and you leave no room for doubt, quickly letting out a needy moan of “yes.”
His reaction comes as no surprise, your consent making him groan, his hard cock throbbing against you. You’re about to reach back, wanting to feel more of him, when you’re triggered without warning, your breath catching and your back stiffening, unwanted images flashing in your head. 
“Are you okay?”
The concern in his voice keeps you in place, choosing to ignore your body’s instinct to pull away, forcing yourself to breathe through it. As the silence tries to consume you, threatening to derail everything, Bucky’s hand on your hip helps you get the words out, the soft clearing of your throat letting him know a response is forthcoming.
“Yeah,” you finally whisper into the dark, grateful when he doesn’t move, his thighs flush against yours. “I don’t- I’m okay, I don’t wanna stop.” Before he can ask if you’re sure, your hand comes into contact with his arm, your fingers sliding down to gently take hold of his wrist, refusing to second guess yourself as you guide his hand higher up your body, showing him exactly what you want.
The heat of his hand cupping your breast brings you fully back into the present with him, ripping a strangled moan out of you, your back arching to grind harder against him.
“Fuck,” he exhales heavily, Bucky wasting no time in following your lead, your erect nipple pinched between his long fingers, his palm squeezing your tit as he murmurs soft words of praise. His ears are trained on you, listening for every noise he elicits, from the loud moans to the barely audible gasps, ensuring his touch remains welcome.
It’s everything you could possibly want, his leg soon finding its way between yours, Bucky barely getting a chance to ask you if it’s okay before you’re begging him to keep going. Your whine of pleasure drowns out his own noises of appreciation, his thigh pressed to your slick heat, his rock hard cock starting to leak pre-cum.
“You feel so good,” you whisper, one hand gripping the edge of the bed, giving you leverage to grind on his thigh, the fingers of your other hand still gripping his wrist, keeping him pinned to you.
“So do you, baby,” he moans in your ear, nudging his leg higher to find a steady rhythm against your swollen pussy, intent on drawing this out as long as you’ll let him. “Love when you ride my thigh like this, when you let me feel how wet you are.”
Your body takes over, chasing the high, Bucky letting you set the pace, his large hand palming your heavy breasts, the occasional pinch and playful tug of your nipples building you higher. He never lets the silence settle for too long, filling the moments between heavy breaths and barely coherent words with a string of praises, reminding you how much he loves every inch of you.
The darkness seems to amplify your senses, allowing you to get lost in the sensations, your walls pulsing with every delicious grind against your clit. You’re on the verge of begging him to fuck you, the words on the tip of your tongue when a wave of tension takes over, ruining all your plans.
Your hips falter the same time Bucky’s do, his gentle assurance of, “it’s okay,” calming your racing heart before it can beat out of control. Keeping his hand pressed to your stomach, you breathe through the confusion, trying to pinpoint the trigger before deciding to focus on how to move forward instead.
A request for more comes in the form of asking him to turn on a light, the need to see him overpowering everything else, and Bucky’s climbing off the bed, a lingering kiss and touch to keep you company until he returns. You’re kicking the covers off just as he clicks the adjoining bathroom light on, your eyes adjusting quickly to the soft glow now illuminating the room.
The irresistible image of you waiting for him has him returning to the bed within record time, his feet only pausing when his gaze drifts to his prosthetic arm, safe in its resting place in the corner of the room. He doesn’t always wear it to bed, your sex life never suffering without it, but he knows how much you enjoy having both his arms wrapped around you, the slight furrow of his brow telling you exactly what he’s thinking.
You interrupt the unspoken question, your voice pulling Bucky’s attention back to you, your unprompted words taking him by surprise. “I wanna ride you.”
“Oh really?” he asks, the former subject easily forgotten, a grin spreading at the eager nod of your head. He doesn’t need to be told twice, jumping onto the bed with a flourish, landing on his back with a soft thud, a giddy look plastered across his face.
“You’re ridiculous,” you laugh, getting to your knees beside him, not missing the way his eyes travel along your curves, the peak of his tongue wetting his lips giving you momentary pause, your thighs tensing with need.
Bucky’s obviously thinking the same thing, his laughter sending a thrill down your spine as he asks, “Whatcha thinking about ridin’, doll?”
You enjoy having his head between your thighs just as much as he does, the teasing flick of his tongue along his top teeth having you shaking your head at him. “Your cock, if that’s okay with you,” you tell him, the playful grin on your face masking your concern of being triggered again if you can’t see his eyes.
“Oh, no complaints from me,” he emphatically promises, offering out his hand to help you climb on top, your worry not lost on him. You’ve been through so much together, Bucky having learned to read your body, understanding your emotions even better than you sometimes. As obsessed as he is with you, his mouth watering at the thought of tasting you, he won’t push for it, especially not tonight.
Your bodies fit together perfectly, puzzle pieces interlocking like you were made for each other, his thick cock stretching you slowly with each roll of your hips, taking him inch by glorious inch. His firm grip on your thigh encourages you to keep going, his audible grunts and gasps filling your ears, unable to tear your eyes away from him.
“Jesus,” Bucky pants, his lashes fluttering every time you let him slide in just a bit deeper, his hips tense underneath you, determined to give you complete control. “Feel so good, baby. God, I love you.”
You’re quick to nod your head, your hands finding their way to his chest, allowing you to find an easy rhythm, your eyes nearly rolling back when he bottoms out inside of you. “Oh fuck,” you whine, your hips moving on autopilot, grinding in slow circles, soon finding the perfect pressure against your clit that has you trembling on top of him.
There’s something incredibly intoxicating about being in charge of your own pleasure, especially when Bucky could easily overpower you, the occasional twitch of his hips signaling just how hard he’s working to control himself.
It leaves you breathless, your body finding a quicker pace, the head of cock hitting that spot deep inside of you that has you seeing stars. When his name starts to fall past your lips like a prayer, his thighs tense, shifting underneath you, the new angle forcing out the words burning the back of your throat, “Bucky… baby, please. Please, fuck me.”
“Co’mere,” he growls, pulling you down on top of him, your palms finding purchase against the mattress on either side of his head, his eyes never leaving yours. With his arm wrapped around your waist, hand splayed across your lower back, he starts a slow pace, watching the pleasure play out across your face.
Bucky pulls out until your walls pulse, a prideful grin twitching at the corners of his mouth at how greedily you welcome him back in, his eyes darkening when he bottoms out, your thrusts soon meeting his.
“That’s it,” he pants, nodding his head, his hold on you grower firmer, doing his best to keep the right amount of friction against your clit. “Just like that, take whatever you need baby.” He’s aware your muscles are going to grow tired soon, your knees likely needing a break before long, but he refuses to stop until you tell him to, gritting his teeth with effort to hold his own orgasm back.
You’ve lost track of how many times you’ve come close to the edge yourself, only for the feeling to fade, your mind threatening to spiral into unwanted territory. Until this very moment, you’ve done a good job at holding the unwanted feelings at bay, your desire for intimacy and connection driving your actions.
Except, that’s suddenly no longer the case, a particularly sharp burst of pleasure has you closing your eyes and before you realize it, everything’s come to a standstill. The unwarranted apology dies on the tip of your tongue, a heavy sigh of frustration leaving you as you quickly shake your head, sitting up to try to regain some semblance of composure.
“Sweetheart,” Bucky murmurs, taking hold of your hand to bring it to his lips, brushing a kiss across your knuckles to soothe your anxiety. “Tell me what you need.”
You breathe heavily, your bodies still connected, Bucky nestled deep inside of you, your walls spasming uncontrollably around him. There’s no reason to push through this, to ignore your body’s obvious discontent, no matter how much you want to pretend you can handle this.
It’d be unfair to subject either of you to that inevitable discomfort. The only thing you can do is face it, admit that you’re not as strong as you’d like to admit, your independent nature wanting to fight you the entire way. A gentle clearing of your throat, followed by a rough swallow and you’re bringing your awareness back to the present, your eyes finally opening to meet his once again.
One look at him and it’s easy to find your voice, his warm smile breaking down your walls like they’re paper-thin. “I need to feel you on top of me.” To feel the comfort of his weight, the safety of his embrace.
Bucky’s more than happy to oblige, trusting that you understand your own needs, knowing you’ll tell him if it becomes too much. Guiding you back down on top of him, his lips find yours, pouring all his love and devotion into the simple act as he secures an arm around you, cradling you against him in order to roll you both over.
It’s not as seamless as either of you anticipate, your tense muscles and abundant wetness causing him to slip out. Neither of you are able to hide your exhales of disappointment, Bucky’s grin meeting your own when he lines himself back up, the head of his cock nudging your entrance, giving you every opportunity to change your mind.
As grateful as you are, it’s not needed, and your hips shift, telling him everything he needs to know, the nod you give him alleviating any lingering doubt. With his weight settling on top of you, his body aligned with yours, he slides his arm underneath your shoulder to cradle the back of your neck in his palm and finally surges forward, sinking back into your tight heat. 
Your unbridled reaction spurs him on, your gasps and cries of exquisite pleasure causing heat to race up his spine, his hips setting a familiar pace. He can’t stop himself from praising you, watching you start to fall apart for him, your walls fluttering around him with every deep stroke, his body grinding hard against your clit.
You cling to him, nails digging into his back, your orgasm just out of reach, sweat covering your body, the desperation written all over your face. You’re so close, Bucky’s loud groans and animalistic grunts usually enough to send you spiraling, his words causing more arousal to coat his cock, but there’s still something holding you back, your body on the verge of tensing again.
“Tell me I’m okay,” you gasp, your eyes locked on his, your hips meeting his thrusts, your body begging for release.
“You’re okay,” he promises, dropping his forehead to yours, his heavy breath fanning your face, using every ounce of energy to not succumb to the pleasure threatening to overwhelm him. “You’re okay, my sweet girl. You’re safe, I’m not going anywhere.”
His steady stream of assurance has you crying out, tears pricking your eyes, the familiar tingle starting to build to unbearable heights, surely about to tease you again. Bucky refuses to give up, fucking you through it, maintaining the perfect, consistent speed, his cock bottoming out each time, the sounds of your bodies meeting in a heated rush adding to the sensations coursing through you.
“There we go,” he groans, his grip on the back of your neck tightening, holding you in place as you start to tighten around him, refusing to let you push him out. “You feel so fucking good, sweetheart, just let go for me. You’re safe, you’re right where you belong.”
That’s all it takes, your mouth opening in a silent scream as your entire body tenses, your limbs wrapped around him, his movements never faltering, letting you ride out the intense waves taking over your senses. You’re not even aware when your voice returns to you, a string of incoherent noises filling the air as you come hard, sobbing from the onslaught of pleasure, Bucky not missing a single second of the glorious vision unfolding underneath him.
He doesn’t allow himself to let go until he’s sure it’s what you want, your gasping pleas triggering his orgasm. With a groan of your name, he pulls you into a fiery kiss, his hips thrusting just a few more times as his pulsing cock fills you with his release.
You've been reduced to heavy pants and trembling limbs, Bucky's body shaking against yours, more sweet utterances of love and devotion being shared as you both return back to reality.
For the first time in too long, you’re able to stay relaxed in his embrace, refusing to let him move for several moments, the weight of him pressing down on you keeping you grounded. It’s not until your lungs start to ache from lack of deep breaths that you relent, letting Bucky roll you both over, your bodies continuing to draw comfort from each other.
There’s no rush to clean up, no dire need to leave the bed, the two of you remaining there for as long as you want, your mind at ease, Bucky’s steady breaths and gentle caress of your back almost lulling you back to sleep. 
This time, there’s no need to fight it. You let yourself drift off, peaceful rest once again overtaking you, Bucky content to hold you for the rest of the night, promising to keep you safe wherever your dreams take you.
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Comments & reblogs very much appreciated!! 🩶
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astridthevalkyrie · 8 months ago
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inspired by rafayel's when light falls memory.
cw: fluff, bratty raf, temporary blindness
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When he stumbles into the room, you're on your feet immediately, staring furiously.
"Rafayel."
"Hey, no, you can't be mad." He points in the direction of your voice, and he's slightly off, which only makes you angrier. "If you think about it, this is your fault."
"Rafayel!"
"You sound so pretty when you say my name like that. Say it again?"
It had been on the tip of your tongue, but at his words you swallow the third utterance, merely glaring with a look that would make him shudder if he could see it.
If he didn't, y'know, blind himself again.
"Hmm, does the opposite effect work on you? Let's see. Don't kiss me. Don't get me food because I'm not hungry. Don't take me to bed and lay me down and push my shirt up and ogle me, I'd hate that."
"You're not funny," you snap at him, walking up and snatching his palm. Despite your obvious anger, Rafayel lets out a soft breath of relief at your touch, and doesn't protest a bit as you guide him to sit on the couch. When he'd told you he'd meet you here, you didn't suspect anything. When he said Thomas would be dropping him off, a bead of nervousness had build up inside you. And when Thomas texted you a simple apology text, you'd feared the worst.
He always does this. This is the third time it's happened since you've known him. Each time he cheerily tells you that the doctor has warned him it could be permanent if he keeps being so reckless. And each time, Rafayel ignores that advice completely and stays up another forty-eight hours to paint.
When he's seated, he sighs happily, tugging you close and tucking himself into your chest. "You smell good."
"Shut up. Do you even register how dangerous this is?"
"Mmhm." You see his lips curve into a smile. "Maybe this'll be the time it sticks."
Placing your fingers against his forehead, you push him back and he whines, slouching with a pout on his face. You don't dignify his hypothetical with an answer, stomping away—loud enough that he can hear your displeasure—to take a wrapped sandwich from the picnic basket you'd brought over.
Rafayel's brows furrow when you drop it in his hands, and he has to fiddle a bit before he can take the foil off. Cautiously, he takes a bite, knowing better than to ask you before eating if you're trying to poison him or not (your answer will always be a deadpan yes), and moans a little when the flavor hits.
"This is so good. Did you make this?"
You sit down a foot away from him, crossing one leg over the other and staring stoically at the wall in front of you. "I did. For a date."
Out of the corner of your eye, you see his eyes widen, as though he's finally realizing how much trouble he's in. Abandoning the sandwich on the couch, he extends his hand out for you, finding your face first before he wraps his hand around your arm.
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. You put all this effort in and I—"
"Completely ruined our plans by showing up without your eyesight? Yes. You did."
"I'm sorry," he says again, pulling at you a little. You acquiesce, if only because the sight of him reaching for you makes you feel slightly bad. He pulls you into his chest this time, hiding his face in your hair as he murmur out apologies.
That's the thing with Rafayel. He can tease and poke and prod all he wants, but the second he actually feels something, he makes it blatantly clear. The guilt is practically dripping off him in waves.
"I'm not mad." You hold both his hands in yours, kissing his knuckles like they're precious—because to you, they are. "At least, not about the date. I am mad that you keep doing this to yourself even though it's bad for you."
His hands squeeze yours, and his blank eyes fill with an emotion you're not even sure he realizes he's expressing. "I told you, s'your fault. I was up three nights in a row working on something you inspired."
"Right." Shifting so that you can kiss the top of his head, you mumble, "So what I'm hearing is I should break up with you and then you'll be absolutely fine."
For a few seconds, Rafayel doesn't say anything, and you become concerned he thinks you're serious. But then he presses into you more, lips grazing against your collarbone.
"That'd be even worse."
"Oh, really?" You run a hand through his hair. "How so?"
"Heartbreak is amazing for creativity. I wouldn't sleep for weeks. Even after my eyesight was gone, I'd just keep paining...and painting...and painting..."
"Okay, okay, I get it." Kicking your feet out, you lay down, pulling him down on top of you. Rafayel sighs, one arm sliding around you as he tucks his face into your neck.
"You really do smell good."
"Please stop doing this to yourself. I'm genuinely asking you, Raf, I'm begging you to just let the inspiration stew—call me if you can't settle and I'll help. But stop it with these all nighters."
His fingers find yours, and he holds your hand against his chest tightly. "Okay," he whispers, "okay."
You don't push it further. If he's agreed, then he'll stick to his word, you know that. You'd feel guilty, at how much he bends to your every request despite the complaints, but it's not like you're trying to get him to buy you a diamond ring (and Rafayel would, should you so much as glance at one). You're making him promise for his own benefit.
"Even if I did lose my eyesight, I'd still remember how you look, y'know." He brushes his lips against a nearly faded hickey on your neck, pressing a soft kiss there. It's incredibly impressive that even without seeing, he knows exactly where his marks on you are. "Wouldn't stop calling you beautiful—promise."
A gentle hum escapes you. "I know. Believe it or not, my ego isn't what I'm worried about."
He laughs quietly, reaching down to kiss your chest before pressing closer to you, listening to your heartbeat with his eyes closed. "Yeah, you're worried about me. That's so embarrassing, you have a crush on me?"
"I'm in love with you," you respond, and predictably, his ears turn scarlet at your open words and he groans, fingers clutching your shirt as he wallows. "Don't dish out what you can't take, honey."
"You're so mean," Rafayel whispers, "stay with me?"
What a pain in the ass. But he's your pain in the ass, and you wouldn't have it any other way. "M'not going anywhere."
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astonmartingf · 5 months ago
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NOBODY KNOWS ; FA14
dbf!fernando alonso x ex-red bull engineer! reader . . . barcelona in the summer of 2019, what a time to be alive. and what better way to spend the break with a retired world champion as a tour guide
amgf woahhhh hehehehe so... yeah 👍 this was so fun to write ughh i love them so much and i know i saw that to all pairs in my works but i do love them all so yeah. there will be an accompanying part because somehow i furthered the plot even more and got too immersed in the story so... enjoy like always <3
not my fault ; part one
The summer of 2019- as much as you loved every bit of memory in Barcelona, you’d rather bury those thoughts down a hatch never to be seen from the day of light. But sitting in his garage, name and number sticking out from all corners, a familiar scent lingering reminding you of the late nights and early mornings spent over his house in the city.
Taking a deep breath, you regulate your emotions, keeping them at bay and clinging onto the last bit of professionalism you could muster. As far as you know, Fernando invited you here for one thing and one thing only, and just like the other teams he’s only interested in what you could offer for the longevity of the team.
Considering the latest buzz of his contract renewal, you could play a key part of the remaining time he has with Aston Martin. Along with the fact that Newey has left Red Bull, though it remains a hush to the majority of the paddock, moreso to the fans, and it was clear that people’s eyes were on your move.
Seeing you in the Aston Martin garage would raise more rumors, as it was normal seeing you alongside your stepfather in the McLaren garage. Closing your phone and leaving Sebastian on read, your eyes linger around the garage, fully immersing yourself in the experience. If you were to join the team for the next season, possibly the next races.
You watch the hustle and bustle of the team as they prepare for qualifying, a familiar experience, nothing too different from Red Bull, despite issues with the higher ups, the mechanics and engineers make do and focus on the race ahead for the team. Something you can no longer look back at fondly due to other internal issues you had with the team. 
Watching the mechanics interact with one another, the smiles and serious air as they hover around the car. You’re not one to deny that you missed working in the paddock, and as much as you enjoyed your break, you’re itching to work on the data of cars. Maybe that’s why your stepfather had put his feet forward in the matter and gave you a chance to see the team for yourself, despite it being on behalf of Alonso which still irked you to some sense, it’s nice to be inside a garage outside McLaren and see the inner workings of a team, look at different perspectives.
“I’m surprised you agreed to Mark’s invitation.” You freeze from the familiar voice emerging from behind you, you haven’t moved from your spot but you can sense his presence, just inches away from you, the scent of his perfume wafting over your nose, taking you back instantly to your summer getaway with him.
Maybe Sebastian was right, maybe you’re still hung up on the minute memories you spent with Alonso, memories made too long ago. Yet in such a short time he managed to hook you into this feeling, the very moment you’ve been thinking about for so long. “I’m not one to decline an invitation, even if it was from you.” 
You turn around, facing him for the first time in what seems to be four years, not like you’re counting but the sight of him leaves you out of breath. You thought you’d be more mentally prepared to see him once again, or at least that’s what you convince yourself with.
His presence lighting a fire inside you, the familiar passion burning through him, you can feel it. You don’t look away from his gaze, keeping your eyes straight into his, trailing down to the movement of his mouth, but your ears fall deaf at whatever he could be spouting on and on. “Pardon?” Biting your lip, you blink your eyes lost and embarrassed at your lack of attentiveness. You watch Fernando’s lips thin before a smirk rises, taunting a reaction out of you, “I wanted this to be a professional meeting but I guess it can’t be helped that we’re one minute in the conversation and you're already distracted because of me. Is something bothering you sweetheart?"
You roll your eyes at the audacity of this man, he surely knows how to push your buttons. "I assure you there is nothing bothering me, there are simply other things more interesting in my mind. You on the other hand— asking Mark for a favor? What are you twelve?" You don't miss the irked expression on his face when you point out his excuse for inviting you in his garage.
Huffing, Fernando inches forward as you subconsciously lean back on the wall behind you, "Well you better pay full attention because things are about to be interesting." Flashing you a wink before slamming down his helmet, walking towards his car as qualifying comes to a start.
His words leave you out of breath, so much for acting unbothered, Sebastian has truly jinxed this day. You watch as his car flies past the pit lane onto the tracks of the Chinese Grand Prix. 
As time passes by not only the qualifying session comes to a close but your high emotions as you inch towards the edge of your seat, celebrating with the team as Fernando clinches into P3 for the starting formation for tomorrow's Grand Prix. You find yourself in conflicting emotions— the longing feeling of being a part of a team and working with Fernando Alonso himself.
Despite your unusual relationship with him, you'd hate to admit it but you're always rooting for him in his races. Aside from Oscar, the only driver you've shown support open or not is Fernando. To quote Lando from last year's season, "Who wouldn't want to see Fernando Alonso win?" And he's right.
Personal biases aside, you truly only want the best for him, and you know that won't happen if you're in the team with him. As much as you want to, you'd rather not ruin the familial environment of the team. Your situation with Fernando and personal biases and grudges will definitely come in the way, because as much as you'd front and act like it didn't matter to you, he was and still is one of the biggest losses in your life.
Call it the right person, at the wrong time but you're still hurting and being in the same space as him, you can envision yourself celebrating the highs and lows of the team and it's all too much for you. You don't want to be stuck as coworkers with the man you first—
Sighing, you shake the thoughts clouding your head and focus on the positives for this race. Watching Fernando walk towards the interviewer with a big smile on his face, the more conflicted you are with your emotions. You try to escape the hustle and bustle of the garage, hoping to avoid Fernando before he comes back. 
But luck seems to be avoiding you, as you quite literally bump into Fernando whilst trying to escape him. Grabbing your wrist before you could walk any further, he pulls you closer, hands hovering between his lips and whispered in your ears, "There's something we need to talk about after the race.”
Your eyes wander looking for an excuse, but you remember that this could be your only opportunity to decline the offer his team could be asking you for the remainder of the season. "Sure. Where should I wait for you?"
Your response seems to have taken Fernando off guard, "You can wait for me here, or if you want somewhere more private, you can always head into the motorhome." 
Parting ways, your head can only form any more responses before you go into a complete spiral. Nonetheless, you're well aware that the only answer you can give him is a rejection. Because you can't trust yourself to work with him after all that has happened to you.
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You jump, surprised as Fernando barges in his private quarters of the team motorhome, "Having you been waiting a long time?"
You shake your head, getting comfortable in the cushioned chair beside his bed, "Why'd you call me here by the way? What do you need to discuss with me that requires privacy?"
Fernando smirks before sitting on the bed, "After the interview with Rosberg, he asked me if we were in a relationship, considering he saw you in my garage earlier. I for one don't mind having this conversation outside but I know for a fact that you wouldn't want anyone hearing about our conversation now."
Your face curves, tracing back on your thoughts of how Nico could be able to piece such information, the only person you told was Sebastian, "You're a blabber mouth is what you are. What re you asking me that, for all I know you could've told half the grid!" 
Fernando scoffs, shaking his head in disapproval, "I'm sad you think that about me sweetheart, but sadly it wasn't me. Like how you made me promise that I won't tell a soul, I didn't tell anyone. But one detail that Nico mentioned piqued my attention, apparently you told Vettel, who told Lewis, who told Jenson, who told Rosberg, who in turn then asked me if that actually happened. I'm surprised your stepfather hasn't found out about us."
Sebastian. You curse under your breath, more shocked with the amount of drivers who knew about you and Fernando, minus Seb, you thought nobody knows. "Can you stop referring to Mark like that." 
Fernando raises his brows, his words rub you off the wrong way, knowing well enough that he's only doing this to elicit a reaction out of you. "But you refer to him that way, what's so wrong? Are you scared?" Fernando chuckles in a deep and slow voice, as frustration builds up in you.
"Fuck you Alonso."
"Oh you did, and it was so damn good we did it again and again. I think you remember it clearly, or would you like a refresher?" The way he casually mentions your past occurrences astounds you. You become more cautious after his words realizing that you're stuck in a small space with him, and a bed literally beside you. 
Your thoughts make their way to wat you, as you think back of your late nights shared with him in his bed. Swiping your tongue over your lips, you shuffle in your seat mulling over a better response to catch him off his feet. You can't lose to him like this, your pride won't let you. 
But before you could speak, Fernando presses his fingers over your lips. "You don't have to say anything, whether or not you agree or like it, what happened between us was a fact and a reality you should accept. I for one loved the short time we had together."
Your eyes shake, confused about this all. Even more questions emerge from your head, has Fernando been thinking of you since then? If so, why is he telling you all of this now? He said he loved the short time you had with him, why didn't he want you to stay then?
Your curiosity is killing you, but you've already made your front to act unaffected by it all, which only confirms that you're not ready to work with him at all, as much as you would love it be. Which he hasn't mentioned at all, is this why he invited you to his garage? A rekindling of an old flame, gone far too long in the past. 
But the matter of fact is until you decide to be honest to yourself, it'll remain like it was before, because nobody knows.
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alanaartdream · 2 months ago
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Oook so I am late with my latest drawings/ sketches for today but I’ve been busy with many things BUT my ideas for fairly odd parents fairy Timmy with Nicktoons unite / Jimmy Timmy power hour haven’t left my head at all so super happy to talk more about what’s up with that
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Now with past drawings I have my fairy Oc Felicity and her anti fairy are apart of this au and my idea of what happens with Danny Phantom goes with with what Butch has given on that (I mean the guy not always great with sticking to his story plots and he has been known to be a jerk but he at least gave some information on Danny’s future on YouTube so cannot ignore that)
So going with what I know Danny has a great ghost hunting team with Sam and Tucker and Tucker is also mayor of their town and later down the line him and Sam have kids who inherited ghost powers although the kids have ghost powers a little different from their dad so they’re half ghost like their dad
Now I think that Danny and his friends start up the ghost hunting team around time Timmy gets turn into a fairy and Jimmy has become a world wide teenager professional scientist while also still in high school but he’s on the fast track to great college at age 13 because he’s just that knowledgeable and it’s at 13 that Timmy gets turned into a fairy fully and becomes Wanda & Cosmo’s kid and gets raised by them with Poof/peri (who’s 4-5 at this time)
Now the process of becoming a full time 💯 fairy 🧚‍♂️ means you take on your adopted fairy parents DNA 🧬 so sometimes you take on powers from your fairy parents lines AND being as Timmy has save fairy world and his own universe so often he has a bit of magic from that as well so like peri / poof he becomes a pretty powerful fairy (( BUT it’s also noted by the fairy council that Timmy was becoming quite the ally to fairy kind and how much magic he was having build up AND how his wishes only seemed to get out of hand because of his Human parents were quite bad at being parents and well the human adults in Timmy’s life were failing him so bad they just couldn’t trust the human adults in Timmy’s life to raise him right and they don’t want any more cockers or something worst to happen with Timmy AND they figure Timmy getting to amune to having his memory wipe so figured it’s much better idea for Timmy to become a fairy and to be raised by fairies because the human adults of their universe cannot be trusted to raise any kind of powerful child and To help Wanda And Cosmo with Timmy & Poof/Peri getting settled into fairy world more my fairy Oc Felicity who was the last human child to be turned into a full time fairy and raised by fairies (she was adopted by Jorgen’s Nana boom boom who was her godmother back when Felicity was a child who had no parents and sent to Australia 🇦🇺 back in the times The British were sending convicts to Australia 🇦🇺)
Felicity is the fairy for 3 things
Her main thing is to help artists/ writers to get inspired to well art and write and help them get out of artists& writers block or burn out
She also helps homeless cats/ and kittens find humans who will give them forever homes
And record keeping of everything that goes on with fairyworld records ( she gets hang out with Father Time to get the truth of any events that happen with fairies being as she does paints for him that he likes to keep so she can do flash back viewings on events so you can see what happens without mucking with time itself)
BUT with Timmy becoming a fairy it also becomes her job to help with Timmy and Poof/Peri’s learning to control their powers being as while Cosmo was the last fairy baby before Poof/peri but Felicity was the last fairy kid before Timmy & poof/peri
Jorgen does help her out being as to him Felicity was kinda like a little sister to him (IS kinda his cousin thanks to Nana Boom boom adoption of her) but most of the time he’s busy with Da Rules so not always able to help
Now Jimmy with Danny’s help figure out what happened with Timmy when all the humans in Timmy’s don’t know where Timmy has gone (and he didn’t get to meet Cole ever before Timmy went through becoming a fairy forevermore so he doesn’t get to meet her until after Timmy is a fairy) and when he Danny and SpongeBob entered Fairy world to find out about fairy Timmy
Anti fairy Timmy (Ymmit) along with Foop/Irep anti Cosmo and Anti Wanda were causing havoc and so Jimmy Danny and SpongeBob become diplomats for their universes so they get to keep visiting fairy world and being as they know Timmy well and helped Felicity out with dealing with her own Anti Fairy (who was teaming up with Ymmit Foop/Irep Anti Cosmo And Anti Wanda )
She ends up going to Jimmy & Danny for help with helping Timmy & Peri/poof learn to use their magic so she like how Sam & Tucker do in some later Nicktoons unite games do gets to join the nicktoons unite adventures (think Wanda Cosmo and Poof/peri will still join as well until Timmy becomes a adult & Cole grows up and forgets Wanda Cosmo and poof/peri and only remembers Timmy when he was human and like everyone back her universe that isn’t a magical creature or fairy doesn’t know what happened to Timmy then Wanda & Cosmo retired and Peri goes off to study to become a fairy god parent and Timmy becoming a fairy lawyer who helps out with the Da Rules for Jorgen and also helps Felicity out with her other jobs and she helps him out with his lawyer work being as she keeps records for everything that goes on with Fairies; they kinda become fairy heroes to fairy world and Timmy becomes family to Jorgen Nana Boom boom and Felicity (Wanda Cosmo and poof/peri already family to Timmy and he to them) so Jorgen is like an uncle to Timmy & Poof/peri while Felicity is like an older Sister / cousin to him (so you’re likely see a lot siblings interacting with Felicity Tommy and peri )
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Now Felicity will be a much better and more fun teacher to Timmy & poof than Cocker ever was being as she Loves creativity (I mean being the art fairy that she is it’s something VERY important to one of her fairy jobs so she will encourage Timmy and poof/peri to be creative all the time and give stickers whenever she see them being creative) now Jimmy being as he starts letting fairies visit his lab ( although it’s mostly Timmy poof/peri Wanda cosmo Jorgen and felicity who do being as most other fairies are a little nervous around scientists thanks to crazy scientist who wanted to get their magic for controlling the universe back in their universe so you can understand why they try to stay away from Jimmy in fear; it also doesn’t help Danny’s had to come in to stop Jimmy from using ghosts in some of his studies on other universes; although thanks to his growing feelings for Timmy Jimmy has a soft spot for fairies and so any fairy studies he does is to mostly protect them from those who wish to use their magic for not so good things (like what Cocker tries to do)
When both Timmy and Jimmy becoming adults they start to date but while they’re teenagers Danny would tease Jimmy about his soft spot for fairies especially one buck tooth one
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I can totally see Jimmy becoming quite the world renowned scientist that he’s probably like top known professor that probably gets asked a lot to help consult on many subjects and matters so he’s probably got his own huge lab to help keep the world safe and to help improve things in his universe while Danny with Trucker and Sam are the ones that even the government have to consult to deal with all ghost like things dealings in their universe
Now with SpongeBob not sure if much will change in his universe being as he’s already an adult when the first time the nicktoons unite games/gang was form but in later games Patrick star and Sam Squirrel did join in on the
Nicktoons games so we’ll probably see them come in with SpongeBob a bit as time goes on and they’re join in with same adventures for sure
I’m gonna guess they’ll get along great with Hazel in the fairly odd parents a new wish
Would like Danny tell Hazel how they 1st met Timmy Wanda and Cosmo and all the times they went on adventures with fairy kid Timmy with toddler Peri
Or how help Timmy and Peri learn how to use their powers with Felicity as a helping guide
Who knows Hazel might join the team with adult fairy Timmy and Danny with his kids a few times as well
Don’t think Danny and Jimmy would trust Dev so much though (Danny would be a little worried Dev would be a bad influence on his own kids and Jimmy doesn’t like how power hungry the kid seems to get at times)
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Now Danny and Jimmy know anti fairies are bad news and hearing that Dev would rather have Irep instead of Peri because Irep doesn’t care about following the rules would rub them the wrong way
Think it’s not until they learn what Dale’s like do they feel bad for dev a bit
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1moreff-creator · 28 days ago
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If Min had lived past CH1, where do you think her character could potentially go?
What do you mean if? /j
That depends a lot on the context of her survival, frankly. Does she still see Xander's attempt to murder Teruko and just... survive somehow? Does something else save Teruko and Xander dies without Min being the blackened? Does Xander die before the attempt? Or are the CH1 victim and killers completely swapped? If so, who are the new ones? All of these lead to pretty different possibilities for Min's character. But there's still a couple of things that could have been interesting to see.
Yay an excuse to ramble about Min! :,D
For starters, my guess is that she'd be decent enough in trials; at the very least, she'd act as third brain cell alongside Teruko and Charles. She'd definitely have joined Charles and Levi in talking about how strong jockeys are, for example. Also my heart says she'd have been in the Teruko Teaher CG in some way, such as an teacher's assistant.
Her secret would have also been a hell of a time. Assuming the two CH1 deaths still had each others' secrets, someone must have had Min's, which would have certainly been... honestly indescribable. It just depends too much on who exactly gets it.
However, "You always treated the competition with ruthlessness, but poisoning them to win was a bit far, wasn't it?" would have certainly been an excuse to bring the XF-Ture backstory to light, and combined with MonoTV's own XF-Ture comment, I'm pretty sure hell would have followed. Just complete pandemonium; the poisoner has ties to the same company that seems to be connected to the killing game, yeah everyone's gonna start calling mastermind and shit's gonna hit the fan.
I could see a world where the cast in CH3 becomes completely divided over the Extremely Suspicious Min, with Eden for example being one of the ones to stick up for her (baking squad I will always miss you). I could also see Rose doing it (baking squad I will always miss you), because they could bond over the companies ruling over their respective lives, so Rose would trust that Min had nothing to do with the other shit XF-Ture had going on. Hell, since I'm talking about it, Min would have probably also tried to cheer Rose up about the tape thing, because of her whole "mistakes are to be corrected" thing (BAKING SQUAD-)
And all that means Min would have quite an interesting reaction to Eden or Rose dying, and vice versa. No ship shall remain undoomed in DRDT, after all!
On the other hand, holy shit the beef between her and David. The guy that's always defending the son of a bitch who tried to kill Teruko? Xander, the one Min always disliked anyways? It would be basically on the same level as Teruko's beef with David, which would be a sight to see. Throw in Xander surviving too, and you have the ultimate Yaoi vs Yuri throw down on your hands.
But a lot of this is character interactions, what about Min herself? Well, I imagine she'd grow into reaching similar conclusions to Bonus Episode 1, about what she'd like to do in the future and being a teacher, especially since I imagine the trials would be made in a way that her talent would help so she'd gain more confidence in her abilities. Obviously all of this development would happen right before she dies, or right before the final trial if she's a survivor.
Yes, even though I'm immensely biased when I say this, I think Min could have worked as a survivor. In a very similar way I think Rose could be a survivor now; experience horrors beyond imagination, and slowly get better until the point they're willing to fight their fates (aka company contracts) by the time they leave the killing game, paralleling Teruko's own growth. For Min, those horrors wouldn't be photographic memory, getting betrayed and (presumably at some point) watching close friends like Eden die. Rather, they would be losing everyone's trust between the poison secret and the XF-Ture thing, having some breakdown over mistakes in trials (again similar to Rose), worrying that she'd die before her life really began, and... watching Eden die. In case it isn't obvious, I really miss the damn baking squad T_T
Also, the poison secret (god this post's structure is a mess). I haven't been talking much about it because we're actually missing quite a few details. I've talked before about how I imagine she likely non-lethally poisoned people after the Ultimate Contest for Eminent Students (or asked someone from XF-Ture to do it for her), but obviously that's speculation. That's important because, for example, I don't know how much the actual lethality of the situation would affect the way Miss Anti-Murder Preacher J would react to it, even though I imagine she'd be pretty pissed no matter what. Veronika would be all over Min for the details though.
Her reaction to Levi and Arturo's secrets would have been cool to see. Arturo doing anything for a better life would probably get her to feel sympathy for him, at least, and again depending the lethality of her poisoning, she probably wouldn't be able to really hold it against him without hypocrisy.
Speaking of Arturo, do we think Min would make a good doctor's assistant? She was reading an anatomy textbook in her introduction. Maybe helping Arturo take care of Levi after Trial 2 would be the start of her becoming more confident in her abilities.
Also she'd be real good friends with Charles. No elaboration on this, I just know it in my heart to be true.
One dynamic I'd like to see is with Hu. If Hu learns about Min's past, and Min's desire to leave it all behind (as per the pinned comment in Bonus Episode 1, Min is "Someone who wants to move on from the past"), I could see her reaching out as someone who also has a past she'd rather pretend doesn't exist. There would certainly be a good deal of character development for both of them, just in time for one of them to die of course. Incidentally, the whole "moving on from the past" thing could rope in Veronika as well..
And I could probably ramble about this forever. To be extremely fair, all DRDT characters have so much depth and there's so many interconnected themes all over the place that I could do this for any of them; go on ad infinitum about all the possibilities for growth and exploration that their interactions with the cast and the motives could provide. So I'll cut myself off there.
(I will also add as an observation that (because I'm predictable) I have considered writing a "Min survives CH1" canon divergence fanfic before. Don't count on it happening, just know it can)
Thanks for the ask! Always happy to have an excuse to ramble about my girl :,)
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gamergirl-niffler · 11 months ago
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Very very urgent emergency request! Just stumbled upon your blog after that fluffy Howl fic of yours; couldn't resist sticking around for more of your fantastic headcanons.
I recently experienced something truly awful a few days ago.. While enjoying a party with my friends, the atmosphere suddenly shifted, and I began feeling unwell. Since then, there's been a blank space in my memory. The following day, upon waking up in our shared apartment, I discovered that I must have experienced a sex*** abuse. I'm currently terrified, in pain, and enduring ongoing bleeding from my private area. Trust has become a challenge, and I'm overwhelmed, wishing I could just disappear. Unsure of what steps to take, I find myself reaching out for comfort of any, any kind.. May I humbly request comfort from Dabi, Bakugo, Enji, Todoroki, and Kaminari, along with their girlfriends, who have navigated similar challenges?
If this plea is too much, please feel free to disregard it. I deeply appreciate your writings, as they bring immense comfort to many.
Oh, my dear Anon...
I am so sorry to hear that something like this happened to you. I can only imagine what you feel right now.
Please, if you feel like you need to talk to someone, feel free to drop into my messages and let's chat a little!
I hope those headcanon will bring you at least a little bit of comfort.
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Mha men & sexually abused s/o
Dabi
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- Dabi is burning with anger. Of course he isn't mad at you, he is mad at the person who even dared to violate you this way.
- He should stay with you but he leaves. Of course he couldn't stay. Touya doesn't leave you because of the disgust or hate. No. He is going for a hunt! It doesn't matter if it's one or a few people... All police could find were few bodies burned beyond recognition.
- Touya returns to your shared apartment, sheds his coat and is all yours from now on. He doesn't speak a word about what happened unless you feel the need to talk about it. He won't press but will listen when you need to throw it all out. 
- He knows some doctors that aren't sketchy but at the same time they won't call the police or anything like this. 
- Even if you are scared, Touya pushes you to get checked. He of course stays with you to provide comfort and show you that you are safe with him. Touya knows you are suffering mentally but he doesn't want the physical suffering to continue if there is a way to stop/heal it.
- Back at home Touya stays near you. He wishes he could be glued to you but he understands you need some space.
- When you tell him you need any kind of closeness - he is there immediately, wrapping you in his embrace, holding you as close as possible.
- It takes you a bit of a time to open up to him. You tell him everything; and he listens to it without a word. 
When you start to cry he just squeezes you harder until you calm down. Once this happens, Touya starts to tell you, "I'm sorry, doll. I am sorry I wasn't there to protect you but from now on... I will always be near. No one will ever hurt you again. I love you and I'll make sure to help you however I can."
- And he really does it. Since that unfortunate day, Touya does everything to make you feel safe and to help you heal; both mentally and physically. 
He doesn't push your boundaries but helps you carefully move them as you heal and again open yourself up to him.
Touya never healed himself from his past so seeing you getting better even after such a scary situation makes this villain smile.
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Bakugo 
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- He is pissed but he won't show it openly. You went through enough stress already and his anger wouldn't help someone in your position so he stops himself from yelling.
- Bakugo doesn't immediately push you to talk. He is more concerned about your health so his first step is to convince you to visit a proper specialist. He doesn't want you to be in pain or to suffer.
When you finally agree to visit the doctor, you are going there with your blond guard dog because Katsuki isn't leaving your side. He will even fight the doctor if it means staying by your side through the visit.
- Back at home, Bakugo is completely different than normal. He is calm and quiet around you. 
- If he decides to give you a kiss, hug or simply get close to you he'll ask for your permission beforehand. Just to be sure you are comfortable with him and his touch.
- If you are on any medications he makes sure you take them, it's for your own good afterall. 
- Katsuki makes sure to provide comfort in every way possible. He cooks or orders your favorite comfort food so the two of you can enjoy some tasty food together. 
- When you feel comfortable enough to open up about what happened, Katsuki just pulls you into a tight hug. "It's okay now. You're safe and I'll make sure to get the bastard that hurt you. I'll make him pay."
- And he really does. Whenever you are asleep or busy with something, Bakugo is on his phone or computer, working his ass off to find the person that did it. He is going to make sure whoever did this will pay the appropriate price for hurting you.
- Whenever you need it, he is ready to hold you close while gently caressing your hair and back. He will talk even about the most silly thing just to see you smile just a little bit. Staying quiet is also something he is ready to do, spending time in silence isn't a problem for him.
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Enji
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- Enji isn't home very often so it's easy for you to hide it all and just choke yourself with this traumatizing experience.
- When he is actually back, he quickly notices the changes in your behavior. You were like a candle light; warm and happy and now? You resembled an extinguished candle... Cold and sad looking.
- It annoys him because he is really trying for you but suddenly you are all distanced for no reason! Not only in everyday life but also in bed.
- Enji finally confronts you, demanding answers from you! He is your lover, so how dare you ignore him?! Of course he is not gentle about it.
- As you reach your breaking point and admit to what happened at the party you went to, he is shocked that something like this happened to you. 
- He is not a master of comfort so at the beginning he isn't sure what to do but in the end Enji pulls you into a tight hug. "Forgive me for being so harsh on you. I'll do better."
- This is a promise he actually keeps up with! Enji is trying his best to understand your needs and boundaries now.
- He pays more attention to you, building up the trust again to show you that you can still trust him and nothing has changed between the two of you.
- Enji loves to hold you close and just comfort you when you feel bad. He enjoys cuddling your smaller frame, making sure that you feel protected.
- If you think he will leave it just like that and do nothing about it you are really wrong. He is a Number One hero and whoever dares to hurt you, now has to deal with him. Enji uses all of his contacts and influence to find that bastard. 
- He makes sure you are feeling safe and loved again.
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Shoto
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- Poor guy is deeply confused when one day you go completely quiet. He is worried if you made it home after the party.
-  After receiving no information from you, Shoto goes to your place to check on you. Just to be sure you are okay.
- The state he found you in was heartbreaking. His beautiful girlfriend, his little ray of sunshine suddenly being in distress and bad mental shape.
- He approaches you carefully, asking questions to find out what happened.
- When you reveal what happened the night before, he is shocked. How could someone even do this to another person?
- Of course Shoto doesn't judge you. It was beyond your control and he understands but he slowly talks you into going to the right authorities.
- Shoto goes with you everywhere to make you feel good and safe. He won't allow anyone to get too close to you.
- Back at home he is mostly quiet, letting you decide if you feel like talking or doing anything together.
- When you tell him yes, Shoto is all over you. He wants you close to show you all the love he has for you. 
- His favorite thing to do is to simply hold your hand. It gives him this feeling of intimacy and shows him you still trust him.
- Shoto's second favorite thing is holding you right before falling asleep. You look so cute and despite what happened, he is happy you are with him. "My love. I am so lucky to have you and I promise you that I won't let anyone hurt you ever again."
- Like every hero he won't let it slide. Shoto will make sure that whoever did this pays for your pain.
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Kaminari
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- When he finds out, he is terrified and blames himself for this. He had to go with you but a sudden shift in schedulge made him go to work while you went to the party.
- He really doesn't know what to do BUT he quickly gathers himself. You need him and he is there to serve. 
- Just like others he accompanies you at the doctor and during the talk with authorities.
- Back at home Denki is really careful around you. Always asking if you need anything, making sure you are okay with stuff he does. He never leaves you alone unless you request him to do so.
- He buys your favorite snack and even tries to bake something you like. Even if he isn't the best at it, he'll try his best for you!
- You feel like watching some silly movie or show? He is there with you! 
- Or maybe you feel like just laying down and listening to some music? This dude made a playlist from all your favorite songs!
- Denki is ready to do everything to make you comfortable. Your smile is the most beautiful thing in the world and he is going to work hard for it to appear again upon your pretty lips.
- Even if he blames himself for your harm, he'll never tell you about this but instead he will do EVERYTHING he can to make you feel good again. "We'll make it work, yeah? I won't leave your side and we are going to work through it together." He always assures you with a big bright smile.
- Whoever dared to put hands on you can't sleep peacefully. Kaminari, with the help of his friends, will hunt this bastard down and bring him to justice.
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thejustknowing · 5 months ago
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Three Word Prompt to Distract my Busy Thoughts...It worked. Genre was Horror with the words, popsicle sticks, lawn and stem.
My grandmother was a profoundly intense woman. A fervent follower of Jesus, she never missed Sunday Mass. Though she had a green thumb, she didn't relish gardening as a hobby. Instead of giving a monetary donation at Mass every Sunday, she brought plants to the houses of anyone on the prayer list or anyone in church she heard needed a little extra kindness in their life. It's strange, or maybe it would be to you, but my grandmother was different from others we sat next to, kneeled next to, then sat again next to, stood next to, shook hands with, and wished peace to. As you've probably figured out, this is a Catholic Mass, a very serious event where most of the smiling and speaking happens when you shake hands. That has always been my favorite part—it felt like a moment to finally smile, talk, and someone wishing me peace always made me feel a bit better inside, though I'd never admit I enjoyed any part of it. But my grandma, she didn’t smile shaking hands; she did it rather reluctantly, almost like she was a mix of angry and frustrated with her faith, or maybe with God, most likely due to her forced devotion to it. It was written all over her face, at least I think it was. I was nine, then ten, then eleven; I didn’t learn about human emotions until later—that's another story.
Sometimes, I would imagine that she was really a spy for the devil and not a devout Catholic at all. It kept my mind busy during the boring sermon, and I swear her expressions fit the part just right. But all that changed one night when I walked by her bedroom and saw her kneeling by her bed, clutching her rosary with a focus that seemed almost desperate. Each bead slipped through her fingers with a whispered prayer, her lips moving silently. It was a nightly ritual, one she never missed. I wondered if I would ever understand the significance of those beads if they ever ended up in my hands.
Another peculiar thing about my grandmother was that she went to everybody's funeral. It was like she knew everyone who died in our entire town. When you get old, you know all the other old people, but these weren't just old people—sometimes a baby would die, sometimes a mother would get cancer and pass away, sometimes a whole family from out of town would get in a car accident, and she’d go pay her respects at their funeral too. I never questioned it too much. How can you question an old woman going to pay her respects and bring a grieving family a memorial plant grown from the stems of the funeral arrangement they loved most, complete with soil and lessons on how to plant it and take care of it? She would teach the whole family of the deceased; the children could come too. I went with her many times, and it gave these people such comfort. This made my grandmother even more mysterious to me. The hardness of her look, the way she did things—it was all so intriguing. Despite all the little red flags and inconsistencies, I always came back to thinking how beautiful what she was doing was, how it meant something to these people who were overjoyed. My grandmother couldn’t be an evil demon; she couldn’t have those looks in her eyes because she was doing something more terrible than I could imagine. I liked to imagine her being a demon, but she was my grandma, so I was pretty sure she wasn’t.
Grandma would have me kneel down with her and make tiny little headstones. We made these with popsicle sticks glued together every summer. We would tape the funeral pamphlet, you know, the one with the photo, and cut it to fit over the popsicle stick frame. Then we would attach one last stick to the bottom so it would stand up in the soil; yep, it was a mini headstone. Her backyard was filled with mini popsicle stick headstones. They all had stems planted around them in the soil. Those stems, like magic, would grow into new plants and flowers—they were beautiful. When the flowers had bloomed and were ready to take to the next family, my grandmother's eyes almost gleamed with an unusual excitement. If you saw it, you’d probably think it was misplaced or maybe even inappropriate. But I was nine, I was ten; I didn’t know what it meant, so I just forgot about it. I didn’t understand, and it was too much for my ten-year-old brain.
That hindsight is 20/20 thing is real. Grandma lived for about nine more years, and during that time, I became an adult. I wasn’t around to help her with her backyard graveyard as much. But I rushed home when she got very sick. I said my final goodbye to my strange, intense, interesting, unusual, quirky grandma. For the first time ever, her eyes looked soft. She looked into my eyes, and I wondered if maybe she had made peace with her life, or maybe she was deep in thought. “Grandma, what are you thinking about?" I asked. “I’m picturing you carrying on what I've done for the church and for the people. I hope that you could do that for me. I hope that you can promise that you will do that for me. I'm leaving the house, the garden, and everything to you. All the instructions are written in the shed. Everything I have is yours. Just do this for me."
"Grandma, of course, I promise I will go to all the town funerals that I can. I'll cut the stems and get the photos. The stems will grow into new plants, and I will give them to... wait, who do I give them to?"
“Whoever needs prayers on the prayer list at Sunday Mass. If the person on the prayer list is in the hospital or a nursing home, don't bring the plant and soil there. The person won't be there permanently, and the plant is meant to be forever. Bring two bags of soil and the plants to their home, and teach the children and adults there how to plant them."
“One bag may be enough to cause some effects on the family."
"Affects, Grandma? Like gratitude or thank you cards?"
“My sweet grandson, there are many short and long-term effects that depend on many variables. You'll see, don't worry."
“Grandma, are you okay? I don't really understand what you mean."
“Well, you have to see to know. So deliver your first one now," she said. Her eyes at that moment became dark but excited, cunning. She looked into my soul, but her blackened eyes were devoid of anything, empty, void. My grandma was not in there. I wondered, is this what happens when you die? But how could she have left her body, how could her soul be gone when she’s awake? Now, as an adult, I knew something was wrong. I knew that all along there was something about my grandmother that was sinister.
“Son, I'm very tired now. Please go pick up the plants at my house. This child is six months old and is sick. He needs it near him, so please place the flowers and soil in the nursery. Do not stay very long at all."
“Grandma, I don't want to be rude."
“You asked about the affects. The affects on a child are intense and immediate. They could start minutes after being in contact with the soil."
“The soil, Grandma? What is in the soil, and what effect will it have on a little baby? Is it some holistic, natural thing you've gotten into? I don't believe in that stuff. You can't cure a sick baby with magic soil."
“My stubborn grandson, just be on your way, and you will see. Listen to me carefully. After the sweet baby's funeral, which should be in a week or two, show the parents the utmost kindness. Give them a gift that will always remind them of their child. Go back to their house with more soil and plant with them their child's plants in the backyard."
“Grandma, did they give you some meds? Are you saying... what are you saying? Are you... wait?"
As David stood up, his grandmother looked pale, her eyes barely open. "David, one more thing. You mustn’t forget to bring enough soil. The chemicals, they make the plants grow so malevolently powerful."
She smiled at me, looking straight into my eyes, and I knew exactly why. I felt it in my eyes—they were black, empty. I felt nothing but a strange sense of excitement. At that moment, I changed forever, this incredible sense of clarity came over me, I wasn't meant to understand it, until that moment. I had become blind as an adult to my family's sacred truth. Just as my Grandmother warned me, my ego took over for a while, but this too was part of my soul's plan. Everything came rushing back into me, I could almost feel all of the dense energy releasing and being pulled out of me and this powerful light entering.
There was never a demon, the devil was not at work in my Grandmother! She protected me, and she groomed me. Our destinies intertwined, our darkness a continuance through generations. It all made sense now. My grandmother loved me, protected me, and groomed me, all while never stealing my innocence. There was never any demon inside of her, or any sickness. Everyone has darkness inside them; that I know for sure. Some are meant to let it completely take over, until they can accept and heal it. Some are meant to walk in the light and spread the light to the world. What about you? Are you lying to yourself and everyone else, is the darkness buried deep enough? Are you open and healed? Are you letting all your light come in? If not, what of the urges then, have they come back yet? No one can escape themselves forever. So, tell me… which parts of yourself are in that box buried so deep inside? Why can’t they be acknowledged? Are they too ugly? Do you feel enraged if someone really ‘sees’ you, and catches a glimpse of what you hide? Do you become enraged at that point and project the darkness onto them? If you are doing this, it’s bad, and it’s destructive, but it’s not too late. You can stop the darkness from winning, we all can. Accept it, acknowledge that ugly parts exist in you, and in all of us. Love the parts of you that you don’t like, as you do the rest of yourself. They make up the story of your soul's journey through lifetimes.
32 years after David sat with his dying Grandmother. A little boy opened a leather journal he'd never seen before sitting on his kitchen table.
He recognized his father's handwriting and began to read.
In David's seemingly twisted rationale, he trusted that those he led to their deaths had soul plans that included this violent end. He believed that their family members were meant to endure the agony of grief, a necessary suffering to evolve in their spiritual journeys. To David, the act of murder was not evil; it was a sacred duty, a dark rite of passage. His understanding of his role was both horrifying and absolute. He knew, with chilling certainty, that he was fulfilling a cosmic order. Each death was a step closer to his soul's ultimate evolution. And so, he continued, each murder more calculated than the last, each victim a willing participant in his grotesque mission. David's final thought before he drifted off to sleep at night was simple, yet profound.
"In death, I bring life to my soul."
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jooniperbonsai · 5 months ago
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Thanks for the Sub (ksj) | Chapter Four
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Pairing: Camboy!Seokjin x Gamer!Reader (afab)
Rating: 18+
Word Count: 19.5k
Release date: June 11, 2024
Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, camboy au, gamer au, comedy, crack, slow burn, coworkers/boss/friends to lovers, an exploration of adults in their late 20s/early 30s
Summary: As you spend more time with Seokjin, the threads seem to be even more tangled than before. Memories of the past threaten to ruin everything that the two of you have. Are you sure this is what you really want anyway?
Chapter Warnings (Oh god bear with me in this): angst, miscommunication (sorry sorry sorry we need it for the plot), cursing, alcohol, insecurity and self doubt, sexual harassment online and offline, pet names, fat!reader (we love to see it), sexual fantasies in the form of oral sex/face riding, Seokjin gets hard like 3 times (pretend to be shocked), masturbation, references to menstruation and first time sexual fantasies/masturbation, lingerie, sex toys, boundaries & lack of boundaries, references to poorly written novels (derogatory), verbal abuse from family members, gaslighting
a/n: Hi. I know it's been a while. Thank you for your patience. This week especially has been rough as my family lost one of our pet cats unexpectedly, but I wanted to put my best foot forward and share this chapter with y'all to enjoy our Seokjin's return! I hope you enjoy this chapter and that its length will tide you over. I have a special festa treat planned with another chapter for y'all this week, and I promise it'll have been worth the wait. Enjoy! -h
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SpringDay: He didn’t leave a note
Wonu15: Was he supposed to?
SpringDay: No, but…idk
Wonu15: Then why are you upset if that wasn’t in your agreement
SpringDay: IDK!!!!!! Because we talked about things? At least, a little bit? And he saw me cry and he held me. 
Wonu15: But did you ask him to stay the night? Did you ask him to leave you a note? 
SpringDay: No
Wonu15: Well
SpringDay: I know!!!! I get it!!!
Wonu15: Maybe you should tell him
Wonu15: That you’re in love with him
SpringDay: Fuck you
“Ugh!” You exit your chat app and toss your phone across the covers as you roll over in your bed, inhaling the pillow that now smells of Seokjin. 
He was here. Last night. He held you in his lap on your bed. He moved your furniture around for you. He stayed until you fell asleep. And even after that for a bit longer. You’d felt a chill, possibly as he left the bed, and it was enough to wake you. 
It was still dark, but the sun was creeping in slowly. Enough that you could see his slightly mussed hair sticking up in the back, a yawn escaping him with a sigh as he idled in the doorway, almost like he was hesitating before he left. 
If you didn’t know any better, you would think you dreamed it all up, but as soon as you heard the door click shut behind him, you found yourself curling around that warm spot in your sheets and falling back asleep. 
And that’s where you’ve been for most of the day, savoring the feeling of him in your bed or standing in the kitchen slightly hungover as you finished off the rest of last night’s pizza. You’ve apologized to your followers for skipping last night’s stream, promising that you’ll make up for it tonight. 
Your stomach clenches a bit at the idea of an encore performance from the last time you were live. Maybe Seokjin could come over and hang around while you get started? At least for a little bit?
He probably has better things to do than hang around your place. 
True. You had monopolized so much of his time last night, and it didn’t even amount to an actual stream. It’s selfish to assume he has nothing better to do than to sit around and monitor you to make sure you don’t succumb to peer pressure. 
You need to be an adult and do this on your own. 
With a sigh, you hoist yourself up out of bed and over to your computer. Everything you went over yesterday feels like a blur. At this point, you’re not entirely sure what you’re supposed to do. You remember he mentioned something about utilizing wishlists as a monetary solution to some of the more unhinged followers. 
If they have money to spend, let them spend it. But don’t compromise your morals to do so. 
Is that something he encounters often? It has to be. You wonder what streaming was like for Seokjin at first, all the ways he compromised himself for his followers. Is the dominant persona he exudes even authentic? What if he’s more submissive or even plain vanilla and just doing all this for the money? 
You can’t say you’d blame him. That last stream had you feeling as though you were sitting on the blade of a knife as you debated what the extra cut of money could bring you. Your heartbeat pounds more heavily in your chest, a few beats feeling like they’re piercing into your throat. 
It feels awful to know the way money has made you so powerless. And now here you are, about to force yourself onto a stream for some extra bucks in this month’s payout. 
How does Seokjin do it, really? You don’t want to pressure him into talking about it. Not when you two aren’t intimate like that. But you can’t help but wonder why and how streaming, much less streaming sex, doesn’t tear him apart each time. 
You wish you could ask him.  
Your reminder on your phone alerts you and you groan, forcing yourself away from the desktop and into the bathroom to shower. In your hamper, you spot Seokjin’s pink button down that he’d lent you last night. 
It felt like a piece of armor then, shrouding you from the chill of anxiety. Even now, as you lift it up to your nose, that comforting and fresh smell of his detergent begins to settle the sourness of your gut. 
Maybe you could do this alone, after all. Just, with a little encouragement from a friend. 
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“You’re a fucking idiot,” someone said.
“I am not!” Another voice. A deeper one.
“You asked her if she wanted to fuck!”
“I did not! I asked if she wanted to come over and eat ramyeon! That’s all that it means!”
“No, no hyung, he’s right. That’s not at all what it means.” 
Words. Seokjin was hearing them flurry around him, picking up the tail end of whatever story Namjoon was telling the group. But he wasn’t really listening. He was too tired. He had napped for about an hour in his office earlier, though it was unintentional. He was sitting at his desk, placing a produce order when he felt one of his eyelids shut. Then the other. The next thing he knew, someone was banging on the door saying the register was jammed and they needed the key. 
He had left your apartment late. Right when the sun was beginning to rise. And he probably wouldn’t have even left then if it wasn’t for the fact that you finally had rolled off of him after about an hour of you sleeping heavily on his chest. 
You talk in your sleep, he learned. Not a lot, but in little murmurs, usually yes or no spilling out of your mouth with ease. He was grateful for them, because otherwise he would have fallen asleep with your body slotted against him perfectly, the weight of your head and arm on him just enough to tumble him into a state of safety. 
Both too late and too soon, you moved, rolled onto your other side. And then Seokjin left. 
He debated leaving a note so you would know he wasn’t bailing, going so far as to find a pen and notepad from the kitchen fridge to write on, but then he knocked sense into himself. Notes were for people who left after hookups when unsure whether or not they were welcome to stay the whole night. You’d invited him over, sure, but as friends. You would have of course expected him to leave after you fell asleep, as that was the agreement. Right? 
Seokjin had danced around your living room for ten minutes, pacing back and forth, looking like a crazy detective searching for clues. What would he even say in it? If he left one would you think that he’d expected you guys to have sex? 
So he didn’t, he tossed the notepad on the side table as he grabbed his things, aware now that his button down had gone missing since you changed into your pajamas, but he didn’t have time to look for it, and didn’t want to further snoop through your stuff to reclaim it. 
By the time he left, the sun was up, and he had just enough time to rush the few blocks to work. Besides that nap, he hadn’t slept at all last night. 
And now he was on Jungkook and Taehyung’s couch, a beer magically in his hand that he didn’t remember getting while his friends apparently talked about…ramyeon? 
“–clearly your fault you choose to pretend you’re so old and stay out of touch. Seokjin-hyung knows what that means, don’t you hyung?” 
Who was talking to him? He grunted, hoping whoever it was would let that be enough of an answer. 
“Hyung?” Jungkook. That’s who was talking to him. 
Seokjin blinked. His contacts felt like sandpaper in his eyes. 
“Don’t bother with him. He hasn’t had a single sip of that beer since he got here and has been zoned out staring at that wall for about thirty minutes,” Yoongi said, moving from Seokjin’s periphery into full view. 
“Are you okay?” Namjoon asked gently, clearly concerned but also possibly using this moment to help redirect whatever teasing he was facing. 
“Just tired,” Seokjin responded. 
“Oh yeah, you had to work today. And you were at Y/N’s to help her with her stream last night, right? How did that go by the way?” Jimin asked. 
“What stream?” Seokjin asked, confused. And then he remembered. That was the whole point he had gone over there in the first place. 
“Um, you know, the one that you went to her place for?” Jimin’s eyebrows knit together. The rest of the group craned their heads in Seokjin’s direction, curious.
“She, um, she didn’t end up streaming.”
“Then, what time did you leave?” A broken, awkward silence fell over his friends as Seokjin shifted in his seat. 
It suddenly felt oppressively warm in here, and heat creeped up his neck as he tried to string words together. 
“I think like…7?” 
“So you got there, only to turn around and leave? So why didn’t you sleep last night? You look like shit,” Taehyung added unhelpfully. 
Yoongi rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. “Is everyone really this clueless today or are you all fucking with me?”
He pushed himself up from the beat-up leather armchair, his usual space during their hangouts and sauntered over to the small bar Taehyung and Jungkook had right off the dining area. He took his time, uncapping the bottle of whiskey Seokjin presumed they kept mostly for Yoongi’s benefit, and filled one of the highball glasses left out for him. 
Once Yoongi started drinking whiskey, everyone knew to prepare themselves for an evening of his contemplative and sometimes unfiltered ranting. This was when his self-proclaimed ADHD seemed to shine best. 
“Honestly, you guys still don’t see it do you.” 
“See what exactly?” Seokjin asked, finally awake enough to formulate sentences. 
Yoongi studied his glass for a moment and in a final decision plucked the entire bottle from the bar and brought it back to his group of friends. He groaned as he sat back in the chair, like it was painful to do so on his bones, like he was the age of Seokjin's father and not merely thirty. 
Yoongi knocked back his first glass of the whiskey, smacking his lips afterward. 
In the corner of his eye, Seokjin saw Jimin roll his in annoyance. 
“Can we get to the point?” He asked. 
Yoongi shot him a look, and then placed the glass down on the coffee table. 
“First of all, Taehyung-ah, he didn’t leave early. Hyung here left late. As in this morning. He was obviously out all night.”
Namjoon snorted. “Hyung, this isn’t a detective drama. We all kind of figured.” 
“I didn’t,” Taehyung objected.
“We know,” Namjoon chuckled and turned his attention back to Yoongi. “Ok, oh wise one, what is it that we all seem to be missing?”
Yoongi pouted, but he recovered his dramatic flair. It was something everyone knew to give him the space to perform, the odd pause in his quiet nature usually a sign that he needed attention and didn’t know how to ask. 
“Well, when you put it that way, maybe I won’t say.” A slight smirk cracked through Yoongi’s façade. 
“Did you guys sleep together or something?” Hoseok blurted, which had an immediate rush of blood to Seokjin’s head as he flooded with embarrassment. 
“No! God, no we didn’t!” He didn’t want to mention that yes, technically you slept with him, just not in that way. 
“Pfft, relax. Of course he didn’t. You think this guy will be looking all mopey after he finally gets laid again? No, he’s going to have that stupid dopey grin he always had with…you know,” Yoongi recovered the attention of the room, Soon Yi’s name unsaid but stirring a bit of unease among his friends. Yoongi and her had been particularly close during the period of Seokjin and her dating, having been his roommate for quite some time. He’d learned to weave his life around Soon Yi’s presence, over time warming up to her during the days he returned from class to find her studying on Seokjin’s bed and waiting for him to come home. Since the breakup, he’s always refused to say her name. 
“Ah, the dopey grin, I almost forgot about that.” Jimin’s warm voice filled in the gaps where Yoongi’s sudden coldness cast, sitting himself on the edge of the leather armchair as he plucked the glass of whiskey Yoongi had just poured from his hands and gulped it down. 
Yoongi glared at Jimin, but it faded quickly as Jimin winked back at him. He was clearly trying to lighten the mood, and Yoongi took the bait, softening back into Jimin’s outreached arm that began rubbing circles down his back. 
“I’m right here,” Seokjin said lamely, but his friends ignored him. He put the beer up to his lips and let it flood into his mouth. It was warm. Gross. 
“Do you think he’s going to start doing that thing again where he’s late for everything because he’s too busy having sex with Y/N all the time to manage his time better? Because that was annoying,” Jungkook complained. 
Seokjin spluttered, choking on the beer. “Wh-what?!”
Everyone laughed, including Namjoon, who gave Seokjin a sympathetic look. “I think now that he streams all the time, his time management skills have improved.”
“Besides, it seemed more like it was Soon Yi who was causing that issue. She was chronically late for everything. Is Y/N late for things?” Hoseok added. 
Seokjin blinked. How did this conversation even get to this point? 
“What the fuck is going on?” He asked, exasperated. 
Yoongi chuckled, stepping back into his guiding elder persona with ease. “You’re down bad for Y/N, obviously. We are just trying to be supportive.” 
“I am not!” He argued, the heat of embarrassment now turning into anger. 
“You are too,” Taehyung argued. “I’ve seen you at work with her a few times. You are always staring at her like she’s the most delicious thing you’d ever eat. You want her so bad, hyung.” 
Seokjin glared at Taehyung. “Just because I look at her sometimes doesn’t mean I am in love with her.” 
“Okay Namjoon, I take it back. You’re not a fucking idiot. Or maybe you still are, but Jin-hyung takes the cake as the biggest fucking idiot here.” Hoseok said, a humorless laugh flying from his chest. “Wow. No one said you’re in love with her.”
Seokjin’s face flushed. 
“Aww, don’t be embarrassed hyung!” 
“Yeah, you don’t have to tell us all your secrets.”
“Did you have sex though?”
“Taehyung-ah!”
“What? You’re the one who asked in the first place!” 
“So?”
“So, I know you’re curious too. I want to know which one of his porn star moves he pulled out of hiding. Did he Full Nelson her or was it purely missionary? Nah, nah, he’s too dirty for that. Hyung, did you Full Nelson her?”
“Wait, what’s a Full Nelson?”
“It’s a wrestling move,” Namjoon said.
“It’s a sex thing!”
“No. You’re making that up!”
“Hyung, is that a sex thing?”
“Yah! Shut up!” Yoongi said, and four pairs of eyebrows shot up as Namjoon, Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jungkook broke away from their conversation to come back down to Earth. 
Seokjin’s hands were sweaty and he jostled his leg anxiously as his friends composed themselves. 
“Sorry,” Taehyung mumbled. 
Jimin sighed, finally pulling his hand away from Yoongi’s back. 
“Maybe we should let Seokjin-hyung speak,” he suggested, gesturing to his anxious friend. 
Everyone nodded sheepishly. 
Seokjin took a deep breath, not even sure where to begin. 
“Well, I…First of all, Y/N and I really didn’t have sex. She had a panic attack over the possibility of me being gay for some reason. Er, well not me being gay but asking the question. And that seemed to be something for her that opened the floodgates to an entire larger panic attack. So, after I cooked us jeon, we just kinda hung out and ditched the idea of the stream. And then, she did fall asleep on me for a bit.” 
The memory of you this morning flooded his thoughts, how your hair skimming across his arms as you shifted your head gave him goosebumps. Or that your scent had invaded his clothes, his nose, so much so that he could just picture you and the soft, sweet smell would manifest around him. 
“Oh, oh hyung.” 
“Don’t look at me like that!” Seokjin shrieked as Jimin frowned. 
His friends all sat quietly, sipping their drinks. Taehyung awkwardly stood up, stating he needed to use the bathroom before he exited the room. 
“When did it start getting this serious for you?” Namjoon asked. 
Seokjin’s eyebrows knit together. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We aren’t serious. We aren’t even together.” 
“He means when did you start having feelings for her hyung? I know we said that none of us were accusing you of being in love with her, but are you sure that it’s just about sex, or friendship, or whatever it is you keep saying it is?”
Love. That word felt like fire in his brain. He couldn’t possibly love you. Not when he barely knew you. Not when he only just stood in your apartment for the first time, saw you asleep on him. What Seokjin knew about love was something faded and dusty, shoved under his bed in an old shoebox and hard to name. It had been so long since he felt the early feelings of life with Soon Yi.
Soon Yi. That was love, wasn’t it? The hot poker of constant chaos, being whisked away from one thing to another with pleasure and delight. Wasn’t that supposed to be what love was? He remembered ripping apart magazines with her in her dorm room to make a large collage that she created from top to bottom. All the colors swirling around them as they shredded page after page and refit together. Things clashed, patterns divided themselves into a kaleidoscope around her room. That was how Soon Yi was. A kaleidoscope of every color Seokjin had ever thought imaginable. 
And she was like that for him too, when she laid underneath him that night, her body wrapped around his in every way imaginable, thrown from the bed to the floor as they christened every surface of that space imaginable. 
With you, things weren’t able to be defined by colors. Instead, all Seokjin knew was that the heaviness and the intensity of first love wasn’t at all how he experienced you. No, you were like a fire that ignited in him, and he knew it. Scorched away every faded bit of that box under the bed and licked your flame along every part of him. 
The way he so easily complied with you last night, despite the fact that he knew it would be bad for you both to be so close. Letting you lie on him while he sat there hard just by breathing in your sweetness. How his body responded like this was some first love despite the fact that it wasn’t, and he found himself changing the rules of his life every single time a sigh left your lips. That couldn’t be love, only fascination, only primal, sexual curiosity. 
He’d admit his crush, but love? There was no way this could be it. 
“No,” he said, clearing his throat. “I’m…I’m not in love with her.”
“But–” Jungkook began, but Jimin silenced him with a look. 
“No,” he repeated. “I’m not in love with her. I have a crush. And we’re friends. And yeah, I am really really ‘down bad’ for her like Yoongi said. But it’s not like that.” 
Jungkook rubbed his eyes with the back of his fists, sighing in clear frustration. 
“Alright, hyung,” Jimin said gently. “Alright.” 
Just then, Seokjin’s phone pinged, and his heart plunged right into his stomach. 
You were live? Now? Without him there? 
That wasn’t in your agreement anyway. You agreed to help her stream. You helped her. Now she doesn’t need you. 
That little bit of knowledge felt like a twisted knife, but he ignored it anyway, rapidly tapping the alert on his phone that led him to the app. 
“What’s that about?” Hoseok asked. 
His other friends repeated the question, filling the room with a hum of curiosity. 
“Shut up!” he snapped, clicking the side button to turn up the volume. 
“–and yeah sorry about not streaming last night. Time kind of slipped away from me. But I plan on making it up to you guys, I promise.” Your voice echoed throughout the living room, hushing Seokjin’s friends as they hunched forward to see what was the cause of his sudden irritation. 
“Is that…?” Yoongi began. 
“Yes,” Taehyung said as he waltzed back into the room, patting his damp hands on the back of his pants. “That’s her.” 
“Oh, oh okay I get it now,” Namjoon said. “Leave it to hyung to be down bad for someone who dresses just like him.” 
What? Seokjin squinted at the screen, taking in your appearance: your hair was loosely curled around your face, some juicy pink lip gloss that he knew tasted like strawberries (he’d smelled it on you before) glazing your mouth, and a black lace bustier that was barely being covered by a pink linen button down was peeking out. One that looked exactly like the one he was wearing last night.
“Because that is my shirt,” he replied, dazed. 
“What?” Jimin said, hurling himself across the coffee table and yanking the phone from Seokjin’s hands. 
Jungkook followed behind Jimin, resting his chin on his friend’s shoulder as he squinted at you on the screen. “Can we make it any bigger? I can’t see shit from here.” 
“No!” Seokjin protested, but it was clear he wouldn’t win this argument. 
“Wait, why does she have your shirt?” Yoongi asked as Jimin and Jungkook fumbled with the television setup to cast the stream. 
Seokjin glared at his friend. Hoseok laughed, sliding into the spot next to him and offering him some shrimp chips. 
“Who cares? The better question is why is she wearing it on her live stream over her lingerie?” 
“Ah, true.” 
Yoongi turned to Seokjin expectantly, like he would somehow know the reason. Honestly, he wondered the same. 
You weren’t ready for this. You two had barely covered the basics yesterday. Why were you streaming when the arrangement was between the two of you to do this together? Did you just not want his help anymore? Or did all the talking and your panic attack yesterday make you rethink things?
What if you had really wanted him to leave last night or your emotions got the best of you and you regretted everything? Seokjin could feel the spiral of his thoughts starting to unwind as he tried to figure out what the explanation for this stream was. 
“A-ha! Ok, we got it,” Jimin said as he clicked through the series of menu permissions to cast a larger version of you onto the screen. 
You were reading your comments, lightly gnawing on your lip. Nerves, he realized. 
“Oh, uh, yeah, we can play the same game as last time. We didn’t quite finish, did we?” You said, rolling your neck and flexing your shoulders. As you did, your breasts thrust further toward the camera, plush skin Seokjin dreamt of shoving his face into so many times now fully on display for all his friends. 
“Oh, fuck,” Jungkook said from somewhere in the room. Seokjin had no clue. He couldn’t break his gaze as you giggled at something in your comments. He felt heat head south from his face. 
“Jesus hyung.” Hoseok said. “I don’t know how you get through a workday with her without getting hard.” 
“He doesn’t,” Taehyung added unhelpfully. 
He heard the air behind him shift, before a soft thwack and Taehyung’s responding groan informed him that someone had thrown a pillow at him. 
“Okay, so new rules,” you said.“From now on, if any of you say something super perverted, you’ll be unable to comment until the next stream. I’ll have my mods ban you from commenting. The only way you can get on my good side again and get yourself unbanned during a stream is if you fulfill something off of my wish list I added. You can type #springwishes and see all I’ve put on there. Sound good?” You smirked at your camera, a little bite of confidence spreading through you. 
Seokjin’s chest clenched, a tiny bit of relief washing over him as he saw you get your bearings, the comments spamming that hashtag for the link to your wishlist, which he’d advised you to make as a form of incentive and distraction during moments when you felt overwhelmed. If people were getting into deep waters with a topic, you could always redirect to the wishlist, making it more of a prize for your viewers to partake in versus punishment. 
“Alright, so let’s do this,” you said. “Game on.”
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Maybe he was overreacting. In the last hour he and his friends spent intently watching your stream, you seemed to navigate your chat a little more with ease, or at least with redirection. 
Yoongi had nodded off in his chair despite the earth-shattering moans your game was crying out as you tripped different combos. You were getting better at the game, and as you finished another level that gave you the prize of some more very not safe for work photos by your “girls”, a heavy yawn escaped through your lips. 
Maybe you didn’t need his help after all. For what it’s worth, you seemed to be settling in comfortably to your performance aspect of the role, sometimes twirling bits of hair in your fingers, earning yourself half a dozen new subs and a few new things from your wishlist. 
“Wow, we’re making good progress,” you said, reaching for your water bottle and pouting at your screen as you sipped from the straw. 
The comments had become more mild during the game when you were fully immersed. Seokjin had been monitoring them closely, seeing your mod Wonwoo diligently screening spam out of the comments. 
But now that your attention had shifted, they were being flooded once more with people vying for your attention. 
Str3amballzak: Wanna fuk those tits
(Str3amballzak has been banned from the chat room)
Lickemup: sit on my face
(Lickemup has been banned from the chat room)
“And so it begins,” you said sarcastically, sipping more water from your straw as you switched your camera view to just you instead of the game. 
(Str3amballzak has fulfilled wish list item number 7: new streaming headphones)
Str3amballzak: worth it
“You guys are working hard at getting yourself permanently banned,” you said, rolling your eyes. “But thanks I guess.” 
Str3amballzak: ur welcome baby
Str3amballzak: ever do private streams?
“No, I don’t do private streams Mr. Ball Sack. Or Ball Zak? Anyway, do you want to go in time out again?” 
Str3amballzak: fine ill behave. 
Str3amballzak: daddy just wants to spoil u
Str3amballzak: u should put some other toys on that wish list ;) 
Heat flooded Seokjin’s face as he read the chat messages fluttering by. This was going south quickly. 
“Not your baby,” you said with a scoff. “And no thanks daddy. I’m good.”
“God, these dudes are gross. Is this the same kind of comments you get, Seokjin-hyung?” Jungkook asked. 
“At first, kind of. But not much anymore. On occasion someone will try to dom me from the chat, but there’s a tip feature for that,’ he responded, eyebrows furrowed as he studied your face for any discomfort. Annoyance, sure, but you could handle that. His hands still hovered over his phone, ready to intervene in a moment’s notice.  
(Lickemup has fulfilled wishlist item number 3: electric kettle)
Lickemup: something to keep you warm if it’s not my tongue in your pussy 
(Lickemup has been banned from the chat room)
(Lickemup has fulfilled wishlist item number 0: mystery gift)
Lickemup: loophole? 
“Oh,” you said, eyes going wide. “I…I didn’t know that was an option.” 
Seokjin didn’t either. And he certainly didn’t know what a “mystery gift” was. What he did know was that this wishlist would mail you anything without giving away your address. But that meant it could be anything. 
Uh oh. 
User27271: wanna cum on your face 
(User27271 has been banned from the chatroom)
(User27271 has fulfilled wish list item number 0: mystery gift)
User27271: hope you like pet play 
(User27271 has been banned from the chat room)
User8008s: stroking my dick to your pretty face rn
(User8008s has been banned from the chatroom)
(User8008s has fulfilled wish list item number 0: mystery gift)
User8008s: 💦
“Jesus Christ, guys,” you said weakly as the chaos of the loophole began to take over your chat, dozens more accounts flooding the comments to do the work around, plunging into the raunchiest of comments before being banned, then fulfilling some mystery gift before being banned again, this time for good. Seokjin looked at the view counter in the corner. It was rising exponentially. 
He could see how quickly your control was leaving you, the glassiness of your eyes and shakiness of your voice as you fought to reel in your chat leading you toward the verge of a breakdown. 
“Is there any way to turn that feature off?” Jungkook asked helplessly, his eyes wide as another onslaught of cyber attacks began.
“I don’t know, I didn’t even know it had this option,” Seokjin said, his voice tight as he helplessly watched you begin to shrink away from the spotlight he had spent hours with you yesterday practicing to do the exact opposite in. 
You pulled the shirt tighter across your body, and that seemed to spring him into action: you there in his shirt, this chaotic chat undoing the work you’d done in a matter of minutes. Fuck those people. 
“There has to be something we can do,” Jimin said, and Namjoon whipped out his phone, searching up the parameters of the wish list site you had used. 
“Tell her to just have her mods turn the entire feature off in the meantime,” Hoseok said, tapping his foot anxiously. 
Seokjin nodded, typing the message into the chat box. 
JokeJinSeokjin: Turn off your the gifting feature
But his comment was lost in the slew of the chat. He knew there was no way you would see it. 
“She definitely isn’t going to see that!” Taehyung groaned. 
“Call her, hyung. You have her number,” Yoongi said, his voice gravelly from just waking up. 
Right, a phone call. He could do that. 
Seokjin opened his contact list and dialed your number. He knew you kept your phone on silent during your stream, but in a moment of luck, you looked down, where he assumed your phone was at and hastily pressed the accept call button. 
“Hello?” Your voice sounded like a wild echo through the TV; the sound delay was just enough to warp you. 
Seokjin stood and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He didn’t even bother turning on the light, something about the isolation away from his friends and the darkness feeling like a comfort, like you two were in your own little world and not being put on blast in front of thousands. 
“Turn off your chat commands. Now,” he ordered. 
“Oh, uh, I don’t know how,” you said, then groaned. “Guys please I don’t want any of this. Get it the fuck together.” You paused. “What do you mean who am I talking to on the phone? It’s none of your goddamn business.” 
“Y/N,” Seokjin warned. You needed to stop engaging. 
“I know! I know, okay?” you snapped, and Seokjin nodded, even though you couldn’t see him. You took a shaky breath after a moment. “Are you watching?”
“I was but I needed my phone to call you so I’m not right now. Why? Is something happening?”
“No it’s just–never mind. I have set myself on away and muted so I can unlink this option. Wonwoo is turning off the chat completely for me.” 
“Good,” he responded and opened a browser window, typing in his query. “Okay I looked it up and you need to click the right toggle in your stream settings and scroll down until you see ‘outside links’ and then–”
“Slower, please!” You said exasperated. 
“You can always turn the whole stream off,” he said gently and you huffed in response. 
You paused for a beat. “I don’t want to. I was fine before this whole thing started. I want to do this.” You sounded like you were on the verge of crying. He knew this meant a lot to you. So much of the first few stream’s success determines your future. He knew this. Saw it happen in his own online presence. If you lost a lot of followers tonight, you’d probably not regain them. And then your payout at the end of the month would be a fraction of what you were receiving. 
“Okay. Yes. Then let’s take a deep breath,” he said, taking a deep breath of his own for you to follow. He heard the soft inhale through the receiver, and smirked. 
“Now let’s get you all set up. See that toggle on the right?” 
You hummed a response. “I think so.” 
“Okay, now go down. You see the external link options?” 
A pause. “Can’t you just do it for me?” You whined and Seokjin laughed. 
“I could but I’m across town at a friend’s house. It would be easy if you do it yourself.” 
He wanted to kick himself for saying that. Because he would be out the door in a heartbeat, would Uber or sprint toward you. But by the time he got there, it would be too late. Too much chaos was happening at once, and this needed to stop now.  
“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to keep you—“ 
Seokjin clicked his tongue. “None of that, now. Focus.” 
If he did show up at your house to help, he also knows what would happen next. After the momentary panic was over, you would be pissed that you didn’t handle things on your own. At work, however big the mess, you were always insistent on doing it yourself. Here was no exception. 
After a few clicks he heard a gasp. “Got it!” 
“Good job, princess. You did well.” 
“Oh…thank you. Not without your help though,” you said meekly.
He knew you were running out of time. In a few minutes, you’d be back to kick ass in your stream, and life would go on. So he chose his next few words carefully. 
“I thought you wanted me to be there for your first stream.”
“I..well…I did, but I felt guilty and like I had to stream tonight. I didn’t want to bother you, but it looks like I did that anyway, huh?” 
“You’re not bothering me, ever. You asked for my help with this.” 
“And you did! You helped so much.”
An awkward silence fell between you two as Seokjin thought. He exhaled roughly.  
“So, what now? Are you just trying to get rid of me or something? Did I do something wrong?” His voice shook, the hurt he tried to conceal penetrated through the evenness of his tone. 
“No! No it’s not like that,” you said quickly. “I just, I feel like I had to.”
“Had to what?”
“Stream. I felt bad and like I owed it to them today.”
“Why?”
“I…I don’t know really,” you said softly. “Because I’m desperate for the cash. And that sounds awful I know. But I want to make sure that when summer term comes around, I am ready for it financially. And my parents have been calling me a lot and I just…I’m sorry. Are you mad at me?”
He could hear the edge of your voice as you got more worked up, your last word cracking slightly like you were trying not to cry. 
“No, no I’m not mad, Y/N.” 
“Are you sure? Because I know you are helping and you already are spending time with me and it’s not like you don’t have other things to take care of! Like you had to work this morning and I got a text from Mino saying he caught you asleep in your office snoring. I didn’t tell him it was because of me, but god, if I could get this shit together, your services wouldn’t be necessary.”
“I’m not mad. Really, I think you’re trying to find reasons for me to be mad at you but I’m not. And don’t worry about my sleep schedule. It was one night out. I’m not that old for one night not sleeping in my bed to ruin my entire life.”
You hummed in response. 
“Listen, Y/N, I chose to stay out all night knowing I had to open today. You might be persuasive but you aren’t that good to manipulate me into anything. I was there because I wanted to be there. Okay?”
You hummed again. 
“I need some kind of verbal acknowledgement other than ‘hmm’.”
“Sorry. Okay.” 
“Okay what?”
“I was listening!”
“I know you were, that’s not why I’m asking.”
You sighed. “Fine, okay I am not manipulating you. You wanted to be here.” You paused. “Seokjin?”
“Yes?”
“I don’t know if I can go back.. Like, what do I do? I’ve already been gone for ten minutes and Wonwoo is blowing up my texts and…” Your voice broke, and he could hear the quiet sound of you crying. 
“Hey, breathe, princess. It’s okay. You can always just turn your computer off. The people watching were assholes.”
“Not all of them,” you muttered back. “God what is wrong with me?”
Seokjin turned on the light to the bathroom. His clothes were crumpled, heavy circles under his puffy eyes and disheveled hair making him look like some washed up finance guy. Honestly, he looked a lot like how he used to back when he did work in finance. 
“Nothing is wrong with you, and you know it. You’re perfect. A mess, and really bad at remembering to put the pickled radishes back in the fridge when you’re done with them, but that’s still pretty great all things considered.”
He heard a chuckle on the other end. “Yeah, I’m such a winner. Ugh, I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do.” 
“Let me help, then,” he offered.
You took a deep breath. “Okay, what do I do?”
He chuckled. “I’m not going to decide that for you. That’s something you need to figure out. But, I’ll give you a few options. First, you can just shut your computer down completely and not apologize, not explain yourself. Your chat and any good subscribers that you actually want to have around will understand. You’re forgetting that there were thousands of people watching, and the loudest ones were the trolls, but they weren’t the only ones there.
“The other option,” Seokjin cleared his throat. “Is that you can go back out there, finish the stream, leave your comments off, and do what you want to do. I can’t guarantee it’ll be as lucrative but you will at least won’t be engaging with those idiots anyway.”
He let you mull it over, opening the medicine cabinet and rifling through his friends’ things. Eyedrops, god, his eyes were on fire from these contact lenses. He had a pair of glasses in his work bag, but they were a little old and frankly kind of stupid looking. 
“Okay, I think…I think I want to try again. And like you said, I’ll keep the comments off this time.”
“That’s my girl,” Seokjin sighed as he squirted some solution into his burning eyes. Then he paused. “I mean, uh, you know. Good job.” 
You chuckled on the other end. God he really needed to monitor himself better. Something about his conversations with you were becoming less careful by the hour. 
“Thanks, I know what you meant. And thank you again.”
You paused again. “Is there something wrong, Y/N?” Seokjin asked. 
“Well, it’s just. I want to do this, I do. But I’m not. God I don’t know, it's like I’m frozen in place. I just feel like there’s so many things I need you to show me before I get good at this.”
“Like what?” 
“I don’t know. How to be sexy without ruining my career, how to just dust everything off and get back out there. That’s what you do all the time! With uh, with work and everything.”
Seokjin chuckled a little. Dusting things off was hardly something he was good at, but he did know how important it was to get back out there. He wasn’t quite sure what you’d meant in relation to work since that wasn’t really a space for it, but that wasn’t his focus. Instead it was on something else. 
“You…think I’m sexy?”
“Oh, uh…yeah duh. Don’t let it go to your head though, everyone thinks that.”
Seokjin could think of quite a few people who didn’t think that, actually. 
“Fine, fine, I’ll let it slide. And you’re right, it is important to just dust things off and move on. But that’s just one thing that I want to show you. There’s so many other things for you to learn.”
So many things. He felt proud knowing that you were doing this on your own, even after this hiccup; it meant that you were doing exactly what he’d tried to teach you yesterday. Even if you faltered once. It was impressive. And he couldn’t help but think of how much you were going to grow from this experience, how many doors it opened up for you, for both of you to forge a stronger connection. He wanted to show you all sorts of things, not just with streaming, but with him. How after seeing your apartment and couch with a dent in it, he wanted you to create a dent in his couch as you read books from your collection. Or that even in his large chef’s kitchen he had in his luxury apartment, he could stand side-by-side next to you prepping more carrots for other foods. 
Maybe cake this time. And when you inevitably spilled ingredients all over the place like you did at work, globs of cream cheese frosting on your cheeks, he’d laugh and find it endearing as you always were, and try not to think about your tongue doing more naughty things to him as you lick it off of your fingers. How you clearly had a little stubborn bratty streak in you that liked to tease and tempt him, and without a doubt you would spend an extra long and thorough job making sure he had a front row seat to you sucking your fingers into your mouth. Just like how you knew you were sitting in that apartment of yours right now, his pink shirt wrapping around your large perfect tits. What were you wearing on the bottom of that ensemble, even? That bustier that was so goddamn tantalizing. Did it have matching panties? Were you wearing those too? He knew you well enough to know you were probably wearing some kind of jogger bottom since people didn’t get to see your fantastic ass in the camera view. 
Good. That was something Seokjin didn’t have to feel jealous of. They could get their fill of your breasts on this stream, but he knew what that soft tummy looked like, how those strong, thick thighs looked in leggings and joggers and most recently, tiny pajama shorts. Thinking back to last night, the way those hiked up your thighs to your little panty line, how soft the skin looked. Would your thighs be just as soft if they were straddling his head? He could only imagine how delicious they would look after he left little nip-marks on them, suckling the flesh just enough to hear your breathing increase, to get you shifting all needy and antsy as you got more needy and impatient. Just as he would want you so that you would rub that wet pussy right on his face and–
“Are you still there?” you said, and Seokjin’s breath caught in his chest, causing him to cough. 
“Yes, I’m sorry,” he rasped. He heard you chuckle low in response, and fuck. Something about how sexy your voice sounded had his cock throbbing. “I got, uh, distracted. What did you say?”
“Oh….uh, never mind.” You paused. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong but your voice flooded through the receiver again. “I don’t want to take you away from your friends any longer. I think I’ve got things for now, but thank you again.”
His heart sank with disappointment that absolutely should not have been there. “Ah, right. Of course. Well, then I’ll let you get back to it.”
“Um, on second thought,” you said suddenly, and his ears pricked up. “Do you…do you think you could come by just in case things get out of hand again? Do you want to? If not it’s okay but––”
“I’ll be over in thirty minutes,” he said eagerly.
Seokjin was already throwing open the bathroom door and barreling down the hall, his friends all shifting from the TV where your away message was cast and onto him. Jimin’s eyebrows raised in question. Taehyung grinned at his friend devilishly, winking and nudging Jungkook. 
“Okay,” you breathed, relieved. “Good.” 
“Good?”
 “Mhmm. See you soon.” Your voice sounded lower, huskier. If there was any ability to think anymore, he would think you were trying to sound sexy and flirty. 
“Yes, okay. See you.” As he hung up, Seokjin felt himself smiling at his phone, his heart feeling a bit fuller, more awake. 
“I’m uh, I’m going to go over there. There’s some stuff she wants me to keep an eye on,” he announced. 
He looked over at his friends. Namjoon attempted some form of polite nodding and understanding, but it quickly broke as everyone else erupted into laughter. 
“Yah! What is it now? Were you guys eavesdropping or something?” 
“We were,” Yoongi said between breaths, “but it wasn’t like you were having a particularly interesting conversation.” He dabbed tears from his eyes. 
“Except the part where you called her princess. Phew you’re whipped.” Hoseok added. 
Seokjin rolled his eyes, reaching down into the couch to find his keys that had been eaten by the cushion upon his arrival. “It just slipped out.”
“Yeah, well, you might want to take a breather before you head out, hyung.” Jungkook avoided eye contact with Seokjin, a blush rushing to his cheeks. 
“And why is that?” Seokjin asked. 
“Oh, I don’t know. Because your Big Dick Daddy boner is so incredibly obvious right now that I’m not sure it’ll be you keeping an eye on Y/N when it’s more likely she’ll be keeping an eye on you.”
Seokjin looked down and as if on cue, his dick twitched. He tried to adjust himself. His friends roared around him, even Jimin trading his careful composure in for hilarity as he threw himself to the floor. 
“Fuck you guys.” Seokjin said as he headed toward the door. 
“Not us, but maybe you tonight!” Taehyung called. “I’m sure Y/N will be singing ‘Hey Daddy’ when you walk in!” 
Seokjin was already out the door, but he could hear the first few bars of the Usher song playing, and despite himself, he smiled. 
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When Seokjin arrives, you have already explained to your chat that if they want to have any privileges at all, they’ll stop being asshats. That is a boundary you can more easily create, something less wavering than the control needed to essentially domme your chat. 
You’re not a domme. Not even close. 
“Be right back,” you say to your screen, kicking on the away message. You glance at your phone. Only about twenty minutes left until you’re ready to end things. Hopefully not too long to make Seokjin wait. 
“Hey,” you say, opening the door. His dark hair is disheveled, bags under his eyes. He looks like hell. You fight the urge to immediately turn him around and send him back home. 
He’s tired but his smile is still adorable and wide as he steps into the door of your apartment, discarding his shoes. 
“Hi,” he says softly. 
“Thanks for coming. I’m going to wrap my stream up soon, but I was thinking maybe we could debrief after?” 
He nods and plops himself down on your couch like he’s been here dozens of times before, not just once. 
“Yeah, of course. I’ll just be in here if you need me.”
“Are you going to watch the stream?” You ask, suddenly feeling self conscious. It’s one thing if Seokjin watches your stream when you’re not there, but the idea of him seeing you in lingerie and playing some sexy game is kind of intimate. 
You in lingerie and his fucking shirt, that is. 
“Well, I thought about it. It’s probably the only way I can really understand what’s going on in case you need me. I’ve brought my earbuds so you don’t get feedback from the other room or have to hear your own voice delayed. So we should be good.”
The idea of earbuds does sound a little bit more practical and distancing. 
“Okay, yeah. Oh, and um, about your shirt…” Seokjin looks down from your face, scanning your body with his eyes. You feel heat lick over the places his gaze follows, down your collar bone and the curve of your hips and back up to the swell of your breasts that spill over your bustier. This is where his stare hovers for a moment, and it’s almost maddening, like he’s undressing you with his eyes. It stirs something deep in your core, pricking your nipples a bit to start becoming hard. The lace of the bustier is too thick and it’s lined to avoid exposing anything, but it doesn’t matter. 
Seokjin is looking at you like he wants to eat you, and it’s turning you on impossibly fast. 
“Keep it,” he offers after a moment, his eyes flitting away from your chest. His ears are turning slightly red. “It looks good on you.” 
“Thank you.” It’s all you can offer in response. You clasp your hands together in front of you, the soft linen of his shirt skirting around your naked thighs. The shorts you wore to bed last night were all you could find to throw on with this getup that were clean and comfortable enough for a few hours of streaming. They’re a bit too short, but you figured no one on stream would see them. 
You didn’t really consider that Seokjin would see them again, or really ever, and now you’re realizing how much skin you are showing. 
“I’ll uh, get back to it I guess,” you say and Seokjin nods, now appearing more engrossed in setting up his phone with the stream than talking to you about it or paying attention to what you’re wearing, or the lack of it. 
You scoot off to your room, shutting the door quietly behind you and sinking down into your chair. 
You hit the settings for the away message to turn off and unmute. 
“Alright, we are winding down for the night. Thanks to everyone who stayed with me to the end, I appreciate it.” 
Your comment section responds in kind, with thanks for you continuing to stream through the chaos. 
“Before I leave, though. I figured we can play a few more levels of the game. We have to make sure Candy has enough magic wands to unlock the special bonus game. Although, can I just say that picking wands was a weird choice? Don’t you normally just need one to get the job done? Why not something else, like different shaped dildos or something. Honestly, a little more variety in size and shape can’t hurt.” 
After a few seconds of delay, you hear a boom of laughter in the living room. His laughter is infectious, and it blooms a large grin on your face. 
“So here’s the plan. I’m going to unlock this bonus level tonight and then we’ll see what the hype is about during the next stream, okay?” 
The chat has calmed itself, and you’re glad you tested having it turned back on instead of totally following Seokjin’s advice earlier. Maybe his streams still function if he doesn’t have his comments on, but you know most of your royalties are given from moments of engagement; your parasocial relationship with your subscribers is based on more conversation than the actual thing you’re doing. It’s how you’ve gotten this far without being good at video games. No one seems to care when you get stuck on the same level each time if you at least have engaging conversation. 
JokeJinSeokjin: I’m hungry. Do you want me to order jjajangmyeon?   
You smirk at your screen and nod, then answer a few questions your chat has initiated. 
“Why did I decide to do a Late Night stream? I needed to change things up. You guys all started to follow me after Wonwoo’s stream and I feel like there’s only so many games I can play with the same kind of commentary before we all get sick of it.”
JokeJinSeokjin: What about mandu? The delivery minimum is way too high so we need to get something else. 
A chuckle leaves your lips and you nod again, redirecting yourself to the chat once more. Someone asks how you’re feeling about continuing streaming in this way. 
“Uhh, I would say that most of the streams so far have been a little crazy, right? It’s…doing this is hard. I’m hoping the more I do it the more things will start to chill out. I’m sorry to anyone who was offended by the comment section earlier. I didn’t mean for things to get so out of hand.”
JokeJinSeokjin: Food is ordered. Will be here in 30. 😋
Springin2Luv: @ JokeJinSeokjin who are you? I thought you didn’t have a boyfriend S.D.?
Your face heats as you prepare for the onslaught of drama this will cause, but then you’re shockingly surprised at Seokjin’s response. 
JokeJinSeokjin: Just a good friend to make sure S.D. is fed and for another stream. 
JokeJinSeokjin: Anyway 28 minutes until food time so hurry up and finish this level!
You laugh. “Well, you heard the man, let’s get back to the game.” 
Twenty eight minutes later exactly, Seokjin knocks on your door. “The food is here! I’m starving. Are you done yet?” 
You put the game on pause. “If you were watching the stream like you said you were, you would know that I’m not done with this level and am in fact stuck.” 
“Well excuse me for not staring intently and absorbing every detail when I’m this hungry. I’m going to open everything and eat it all before you!” 
“Go right ahead! You’re the one who wanted it so badly,” you call back, teasing. Though the second you finish the sentence, the warm smell of the crispy dumplings wafts into your room, Seokjin lightly creaking the door open and fanning the delivery bowl in your direction. 
He raises an eyebrow, challenging you as he takes one bite into one, mocking before his face contorts into pain. 
“Aish!!! It’s fucking HOT,” he yelps, and he drops the remaining dumpling back into the bowl, some of the green stuffing spilling throughout. 
“Well yeah, what did you expect!?”
“Not for it to be so goddamn burning hot!” He fans his tongue for good measure, and you can see even from your desk the slight red tinge some of his taste buds have taken. 
“There’s ice in the freezer. I’ll wrap this up now,” you sigh and shoo him away before turning back to your screen. “Well, you all probably heard that exchange, so I’m going to pause here. Sorry we didn’t get to beat it, but I’ll try again next time.”
You read over some of your farewell comments from your chat. But one really sticks with you. 
Babybibi: I feel like I know that voice from somewhere. 
Your stomach drops, but you remain composed, pretending you don’t recognize the comment. It never dawned on you that Seokjin’s fans could really be anywhere. Does he realize that? Is that why he safely stayed out of the camera’s reach? You’re not sure. 
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By the time you have signed off, Seokjin has managed to plate both of your meals and get you drinks from the fridge. He’s plopped a throw pillow onto the floor to sit on at the beat up coffee table so you can sit in your regular couch spot. 
“I learned my lesson with that couch yesterday. It eats people.” 
“Oh yeah yeah, I know. Thank you, this looks great.” You blow on one of the mandu before popping into your mouth. Even after arriving ten minutes ago, it’s still crisp and hot. Meaning however hot it was for Seokjin must have been volcanic. “How’s your tongue?”
He pouts, sloshing some ice water around in his mouth before opening it to stick out his pink tongue. “It hawtsth,” he says with his tongue still lolled out. 
You chuckle. “Oh poor baby, do I need to kiss it and make it all better?” 
Seokjin shifts a little at the question, and you realize immediately the error in what you’ve just suggested. An image of the two of you drums up in your mind, you sucking each other’s tongues, an ice cube swapping from one mouth to the other as it melts. Nothing about this is even intimate; it’s just pure filth. And based on the matching redness in Seokjin’s ears, it’s clear his brain has gone somewhere similar. 
He finally rolls his tongue back between his plush lips and you sit awkwardly, suddenly unable to remember how to function. 
Seokjin makes the move to end the awkward pause, taking his chopsticks into his grasp and pulling out a large glob of noodles, shoveling it into his mouth. 
Right, food. Your stomach gurgles at the prospect and Seokjin raises an eyebrow at you as he chews, his eyes flashing down to your stomach. 
“Eat,” he instructs, so you do, following his commands to finish your dumpling and move on to your generous pile of noodles. 
How is he able to just push past the awkward and not have it freeze him in place the way it does with you? As you slurp your food down, you can’t help but study him, so effortlessly comfortable to sit in silence in your apartment after playing games about sex workers. 
You shouldn’t be surprised, you guess. Because Seokjin is a sex worker. He’s incredibly nonchalant about all of what you’re doing, no judgment to smudge this dynamic. 
If your old friends, or even your parents knew about you doing this, what would they think? 
Nothing good, you assume. 
It’s not that you were raised in an environment that was all helplessly ignorant about sex and bodies. You’d had sex. Your parents sat you down when you had your first period and explained every single detail about the human body and reproduction to you. It was painful and scientific, so divorced from the intimacy of what sex really is that it didn’t present itself to be much of an interest or issue until, well, you felt the first licks of desire. 
Those started as dreams. Ones where you would be heavily kissing and exploring the body of whoever you were crushing on at the time. The first one started with Wonwoo, after having spent all summer at the library memorizing the thin curve of his upper lips as he squinted to read the books in front of him. You would feel the heat of your core shifting you in your chair as you grew more intrigued, more curious about how his lips would feel on yours, what he would taste like. How his soft hands would feel if he actually held yours, not just the accidental brush when you would walk side-by-side back toward your neighborhood, where you would drop him off at the shop before slugging your way back through that sticky, angry heat that only added more to your discomfort. 
That was the first summer you started masturbating. And it was so awkward in some ways, trying to learn what you liked and how you liked it but also wondering why you liked it, why you liked Wonwoo in a way that was no longer so innocent and picturesque but scarier, more real. 
Your parents caught you, probably as every parent does at some point and just pretends they didn’t notice. Yours, however, made it clear that they knew. And while they never said anything beyond mentioning it once or twice, it felt humiliating. As if you were supposed to be above attraction and sex and pleasure. It was more in how your parents acted after this point that has given you enough insight to imagine how they would react if they knew what you did now. 
No direct words spoken, just blank, glaring looks and sneers. Just them ogling you like you had told them you murdered someone. Shame, in all the nooks and crannies of what it is. 
As for your friends, besides Wonwoo, they’ve all moved on. You had been so curious as a teenager, and wanted to know so much more. Yet, no one ever talked about sex. Some of them had dated through teen years. All of them dated someone in college except you. Sex was happening all around you and yet it was some forbidden topic. Even with Wonwoo after a while. You have a feeling you would have a next to near impossible time explaining what you are doing to those friends, and if Wonwoo wasn’t a streamer, you’re sure he wouldn’t fully get it either. 
But Seokjin understands. This is his life, this is so natural to him that he can sit in front of you after a long day and lazily smile with the knowledge that you are wearing lingerie underneath his shirt. 
“What are you thinking about?” He asks thoughtfully, and you blink, realizing that for the last few minutes you’ve been watching his gorgeous full lips, studying how his tongue peeks out to wipe away some of the sauce. 
“Lips,” you answer in your haze. 
“Ah,” he chides, and you blink away the memory. 
“What?” You ask. 
“Well, my lips are some of the best of them.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Given how long you were staring at me, I would bet that you were thinking they are. Don’t worry Y/N, go right ahead and get a good look.” He winks. 
“You’re so full of yourself.” 
“Well, at least I’m full of something. I haven’t seen you take more than a few bites of food. Quit stalling and eat your damn dinner.”
“You know, you’re pretty bossy.”
“I guess that’s why I’m the boss.” 
“Time and place. This isn’t the restaurant. Maybe it’s my house and I call the shots.”
He gestures around. “Well then, by all means. What are your commands.”
“For you to stop being a tool.”
Seokjin cackles. “Oh, that’s an insult I haven’t heard since middle school.”
“Well, is it any less efficient? I think it serves its purpose.” 
“I think you’re still stalling.” 
“Fine!” 
You twirl a large pile of noodles around your chopsticks and shovel them into your mouth. “Thewere. Hawppy?”
“Immensely so,” Seokjin says, his eyes twinkling. 
You don’t have the fight in you to argue anymore. The warm, savory noodles are so chewy and delicious, and the salt on your tongue is reminding you how deplenished you are from the energy of the stream. 
You eat in silence, until the heaviness of your limbs has scattered to mostly just the heaviness of your full stomach. 
You lean back against the sofa on your final chew, groaning when you’ve finished. 
“Ugh, that was so good.”
“I told you. I’m a genius for suggesting it.”
“You got lucky and picked the best place in this neighborhood.”
Seokjin scoffs. “Excuse you. Might I remind you of a humble restaurant that is also technically in this neighborhood?”
“And does this place serve jajjangmyeon at one a.m. on a weekday?”
“No.”
“Then my point still stands,” you say. 
Seokjin sighs and then follows up with a yawn that you can’t help but catch. 
“So, debrief time. Before either of us fall asleep.”
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. You can go home and rest. I can’t imagine you got much sleep today.”
“Hardly any at all, but you can’t get rid of me so easily.” Seokjin smirks. “Let’s talk about the stream.” 
“Well, you caught most of it.” 
“Yes, and I think it’s worth talking about.” 
You mull it over for a minute, how you felt as the onslaught of gifted sex toys seemed to flood the chat, the overwhelm not really of the thing itself but the assertion over a boundary you were trying to place. Why was this so hard for you to do? 
“I think I still feel so much like an imposter. I don’t know a lot about gaming, but I’m gaming. I’m not at all sexy enough to have a stream that does sexy stuff, so I feel like I’m just…” You shrug. 
He opens his mouth, but then stops himself, nodding for you to finish. 
“I don’t know, I just don’t want to fall for the pressure of being what everyone wants me to be. Which is, this role of the fat funny streamer. Like, every single trope in fiction has the side friend be fat and funny as some comedic relief. And because people wanted me to stream because I was so ‘funny’. Or they just see me as something to fuck because if I’m not completely sexless I have to be basically a pocket pussy for someone. All so I can make money. It’s so fucked.”
“But…you aren’t just a character in fiction, Y/N.” Seokjin reaches across the table, grazing his thumb over the back of your pinky knuckle. “You’re real. You feel things. You feel this, don’t you?”
You nod. 
“So if this is the choice, to keep streaming for some financial goal, then who is it you want to be? You’re sure of what you don’t want, which is a good place to start. But what next? You have a choice.”
You pause. You have a choice. 
In all of this, has it ever really felt that way? From the start, streaming was so rooted in financial stability. And because of that, it’s been so much heavier when you are forced into a performer role that you don’t want to partake in. It never occurred to you that you could actually control any of it.
But you suppose that’s what Seokjin does when he streams. He gives his audience some version of himself that he has a say in, control over. 
“I…I guess I don’t know. I have never really thought about this being a choice.”
He nods, then stands, stretching his arms over his head. “Maybe that’s where you start. Trying to figure out who it is you want to be. And owning her. Whoever she is. Whether she wants to be funny or sexy or a combination of the two. If she wants to give up streaming and find another thing, or go full steam ahead and become the top streamer on the internet. You get to decide.” 
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After dinner–and trying not to stare at your breasts– Seokjin helped you wash the dishes, talked a bit more about your plans for the next stream, and then he left. He knew he was risking another impromptu sleepover and after your debrief, he wanted to make sure you had the space you needed to sit with the idea of choosing this for yourself. 
He knew all too well how important that was. Two years ago, in the same position, it was something he also had to decide: which parts of him stayed with him when he streamed and which parts he hid so he could keep them for himself. It wasn’t an easy choice. He still felt it creep up sometimes when he streamed, constantly vigilant of the words leaving his mouth so he didn’t ever give too much away.
Even when his friends were in the chat, he tried to not call attention to them by name. Similar to how you were on your stream. He wished he could be honest with you and tell you that this part never gets easier. Regardless of how much you wanted to share with others, there was the unfortunate reality that in order to maintain any sense of discretion and honor on the worldwide web, regardless of the type of streaming, the boundary between you and your audience would always lead to disconnection and loneliness. Conversely, you also were not ever going to be totally private and anonymous again. At some point, there was a tipping point where you would never again just be you. The digital footprint was permanent. 
And in this limbo, as time moved on and winter finally melted into Spring, the pressure was on for Seokjin. He considered telling you that he was a sex cam streamer. He had felt it on the tip of his tongue that night, but in the many nights that have since followed, fighting against the decision to just tell you so you could move through it and potentially build a more realistic and relatable plan based on his own experiences and the potential betrayal you might have felt when you learned of the ways he wasn’t at all morally superior for doing things for money. Would you judge him for wanting better for you? 
Moreover, would you be able to live with knowing that your friend–your boss– did gay sex streams? It just felt too delicate at this point to bring up, so Seokjin shoved it down inside of him, just like he did with his audience every time he hit the countdown to go live. 
And unfortunately, in the last few months he’d only streamed a handful of times, which resulted in a significant decrease in engagement and therefore, income. 
But between working at the restaurant and then coming over to sit in the other room as you streamed, his time was limited. 
He was tired. You streamed late into the early hours of the morning, and unlike him, you didn’t work full time. On the days you did have the early shift in the morning, you somehow seemed rested, clearly used to the chaotic structure of your regular gaming streams that might have occurred the night before. You’d decided to do a brief pause on late night themed streams until you had a better game plan. And to the surprise of both you and Seokjin, your followers were supportive. So you would stream regular games in the late night slots on occasion, and Seokjin would sit on as an honorary mod despite the exhaustion. Granted, those nights you often fell asleep before Seokjin had even left your apartment, and he would gently nudge you awake as you drifted off on the couch, prodding you to go take off your makeup and looking on fondly as you thanked him sleepily before crashing on your bed. 
One day in early May, though, everything that was delicately woven into the balance of things began fraying at the edges. 
Seokjin had woken up to a grateful text from you thanking him for coming over the night before, and had sent a follow up invitation. 
You 7:59AM: You can say no, but do you maybe want to go get dinner tonight when you’re done with work? 
Seokjin 8:00AM: Of course I’m going to say yes. Any suggestions where?
You 8:15AM: What about that restaurant that you told me about?
Seokjin 8:17AM: The Mediterranean one? With a month-long waitlist? 
You 8:18AM: Shit. I forgot about that. 😓
Seokjin 8:19AM: Wait a second. BRB
Seokjin 8:32AM: Ok I got a reservation for 10:30. I know that’s pretty late but that’s all I could get. Kitchen closes at midnight though so we should be fine.
You 8:32AM: HOW???
Seokjin 8:32AM: Head chef went to school with my brother. 
Seokjin 8:33AM: They weren’t that close. If they were, we would probably have an earlier time.
You 8:33AM: I don’t care! I’ll just eat before I go. It’ll be a fourth meal type of situation
Seokjin 8:35AM: We can also go somewhere else
You 8:36AM: NO. 😡 Do not take this away from me. I already decided what I want from the menu. We are going. 
Seokjin 8:37AM: LOL. Ok. I’ll come get you before? 10?
You 8:38AM: 👍
Seokjin smiled to himself, finally getting himself out of bed and ready for the day. He had a lot of work to do. When he opened his emails to get started, he saw an email from Worldwide Handsome. He opened it, his stomach sinking as he processed the words. 
Dear User Jin,  We at Worldwide Handsome appreciate the streams you have trusted us to host for the last two years. In this last financial quarter, we have successfully increased our outreach to new targeted consumers, both from members of the LGBTQ community and their allies. In part, we have you to thank for this success. Your continued participation in WWH’s Partnership program has taken us to new heights for pleasurable camming and stimulation experiences. Among our competitors, we have maintained our position as one of the top pornographic live cam websites, with your stream being one of the most engaged with to-date.  However, in the last two months, the algorithmic engagement of WWH’s live shows has significantly plummeted. In conducting market research, we found that in this quarter, we have had a staggering 11% decrease in consistent viewership, subscription renewal, and ad revenue. While there are many contributing factors, it has come to our attention that one overlapping factor might be one of the major contributing factors to this financial loss. In most of our data, it was User Jin’s channel that demonstrated the largest risk among our partners, primarily due to your lack of consistent streaming over the last few months.  While we are grateful for your continued dedication to Worldwide Handsome, we regret to inform you that should your channel continue to trend downward in market data over the next 30 days, we will terminate your contract with us as Partner. If this should happen, we still welcome you to continue utilizing the basic features of Worldwide Handsome. You will still retain a generous commission rate, the ability to publish past livestreams to your channel, stream clipping functions, gifting, and more. If you would like to learn more details about the basic features provided with Worldwide Handsome, please visit the FAQ page on our website.  Once again, we are grateful for your ongoing support over the years. We at WWH are grateful to you and the many other streamers who continue to make sex a global artform that we can proudly stand behind. If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to reach out.   Sincerely,  Worldwide Handsome Partners
Dropped from the partner program? His partnership with the website was what provided the groundwork for any sort of financial stability while streaming. It not only provided consistent scheduled payouts, but the commission retention was one of the highest in the industry. People were desperate to be part of the partner program, even if it belonged within the confines of gay sex streaming. And until this quarter, Seokjin had been leading the trend, securing his place within the company. But now, because of his neglect, it was being threatened out from under him. 
On top of it, the money pit of the restaurant was at it again; a sewer line bursting a few blocks away had caused flooding and an electrical malfunction a month ago, which resulted in a transformer blowing and frying his computer with all the records. His parents had been tech savvy enough to digitize everything, but clearly not enough to have learned to back up things onto the cloud instead of leaving them on the harddrive. 
For the last few weeks, he’d been shuffling documents back and forth between his laptop and the new system, begging his father to learn how to sign a PDF through some YouTube tutorial that only resulted in his father taking a fuzzy picture of the document in a poorly lit hallway of the cruise ship and sending it back over this morning with a text: 
Here you go! Hope this is okay. Probably won’t have a connection for a while. Talk next week. 
It was not in fact okay, and Seokjin was now considering just forging his father’s signature to get the new insurance forms authorized as soon as possible. The financial burden of what the restaurant was doing was starting to feel more like damnation and less of an investment. With each week drawing nearer to his parents' return, he began worrying that they wouldn’t be able to handle all the things that had become urgent needs.
He had a month to get it together. Otherwise, he could kiss both of his careers goodbye. With his father just adding to the slew of problems, today he was at his wit’s end. He was beyond stressed and in desperate need of release. 
Which is why when he logged onto Worldwide Handsome after a particularly frustrating call with the electrical company, he found himself falling naturally into his old persona easily. 
“I needed this,” he said to his audience, watching the bottom of the screen as the numbers slowly trickled in. It wasn’t nearly as many people as he had gotten accustomed to seeing you entertaining during your stream nights, and for some reason that felt intimidating to Seokjin. How you were able to secure an audience without needing to get naked, one that was flexible with you in ways that his audience could never be. He felt a tinge of jealousy at the thought. 
BGood4Daddy: Missed u pretty boy
He watched the comments flit by, many of them taking on the same sub-dom dynamic he usually played as. Some asked where he’d been, but most of them were just horny messages begging for him to act out their fantasies. 
His stomach twisted. Somehow he’d forgotten this was how things went. 
“Missed you too. Missed all of you. It’s been crazy lately,” he said. He palmed himself casually through his slacks, trying to convince himself to get into the mood. 
The tips started to slowly trickle in, starting to meet the bare minimum goals for Seokjin to begin stripping. 
That’s one thing about his audience he’d always be able to count on. They would always ensure that he had enough of a payout to take his cock out. 
He chuckled at the comments, starting to wind up as he removed his shirt, and then unzipped his slacks. 
XMasterX: you’ve been a bad boy. Sir needs to punish you for leaving us for so long. 
“Is that right?” Seokjin challenged. “Well, then if I’m just going to be punished, maybe it’ll be better if I leave.” 
The threat had the desired effect; Seokjin’s tip jar began to fill up faster, the view count starting to increase back to a somewhat decent viewership. 
Good. This was good. Soon he could get all of this over with and secure himself back into good standing with the website and his subscribers. 
Within a few minutes, the tip jar announced that the first two milestones have been unlocked: take off shirt and take off pants. 
“Eager are we?” he teased, slowly slipping his shirt over his head. He’d managed to get back to the gym in his apartment complex this week, but even if he hadn’t, it’s not like he wasn’t still toned from all the heavy lifting at the restaurant. With all the electrical issues, he’d been helping pull industrial heavy equipment away from the walls for the electrician to prepare to install a new grounding wire, and those weren’t particularly light. 
The comments lit up with the praise, usernames old and new beginning to flash across his screen. He smirked.
“I know you’ve waited a while, but maybe you should sweat it out a bit. Show me how much you missed me.” 
It felt so natural to say this, something he knew you hadn’t felt comfortable doing in your streams, but you’d tried a few times. He’d found it cute when you’d done it, almost like it was a gentle request. But for him now, this was about anticipation and tension, letting his viewers fall back into the world of fantasy he used to cook up every few days. This was a place of escape, where Seokjin was left behind and Jin took control. 
The tip jar shook, the animated coins piling in. 
He popped the button of his pants. Slowly. He smirked at the camera, reaching down and squeezing himself. He wasn’t hard, but he wasn’t small, and that was still part of the fantasy: the grand reveal that people had to work for. He often chose to work under the assumption that everyone was new in the chat, that this was a new experience for voyeuristic eyes. While he knew that wasn’t necessarily true, for all he knew someone could be stumbling into the chat room, unknowing to his body and the pleasure he was so willing to give. 
Someone like you. 
His cock twitched at that. He’d expected this fantasy to get a bit old for him: the idea that you would come across his stream and stay for the whole thing. It had been the fuel for his fire a few months ago, but so much had changed now that you were friends. 
But now that he knew more about you, all the little details, fuck. That just made it seem even more real. He could see you in your small room, his shirt draped over you safely while you strutted around in those tiny pajama shorts. 
He unzipped his pants, kicking them off at the ankles and sitting back down in the chair. 
You’d be doing the same thing, he thought. Those shorts riding up those thick thighs he now knew exactly the weight of as they’d rubbed against his. They were so soft, all of you so soft. And he knew you’d shove them down quickly, annoyed that they got in your way, pouting a little bit that he wasn’t there to tug them off of you. 
“Fuck,” Seokjin said. “I don’t know if I can really take it much longer.” It was true, his cock was hardening quickly, and the need to touch himself was growing heavier with urgency. 
His chat sounded off, various commands to wait or to go for it. It really didn’t matter. He wasn’t there for them tonight. Even though maybe he should have been, maybe the risk was that if he didn’t comply, there would be no great reward. 
mapl3stor33 tipped $3000: Welcome back. Give us a good one. You can always pay us back for it 😉
Seokjin smiled, his most loyal subscriber popping up with a generous tip. Yes, this was where he thrived, wasn’t it? Isn’t this what he was good for? 
2 milestones unlocked from another viewer, this time selecting from some of the few dozens of options programmed into the menu to help guide the stream: cock ring and edging, no cumming. 
God, why did he allow for there to be guided sessions? Why didn’t he lead the stream this time like the one he did a few months ago? That was the one where he’d cum all over himself after pretending to blindfold you. 
Now, he knew even more about you, how the curve of your ass felt shifting against him. How soft your hair was when it tickled his arms while you slept, little whimpers escaping your mouth that he knew he could easily draw from you again when he got the chance. You’d look so pretty with a blindfold on, shivering in the warm light of your bedroom, mouth open and desperate as he lightly touched around your collarbone, down your sternum and between the valley of your tits. You’d been so bad about teasing him in those sexy little bustiers and corsets lately, and it would be nice if he got to tease you for once. 
His cock ached through his briefs, asking him to end the torture, to free himself into the open air and stroke until he came thinking about all the ways he wanted to torture you with pleasure. 
But with another tip coming in, this time adding the detail of a vibrating cock ring, Seokjin knew his fantasies would not be leading him to be satisfied tonight. At least not in the way he wanted. 
Twenty minutes later, after playing into the game of begging and whining and falsely pretending he was going to cum to ensure he was edging, he came. A pathetic, unsatisfying dribble that wept out of him and hardly amounted to the sensation he felt earlier. He’d tried to think of you, but there was a block. Too many people watching, too many people demanding things from him. Instead of just cumming, it became aware to Seokjin how much of a performance these streams always were; the ring light setup ensured people could see every angle. He knew how to make attractive faces when he orgasmed that would leave everyone with plenty of imagery for their own personal fantasies later. He knew how to pretend to be more turned on than he was, and to force vibrators and dildos into proper angles to ensure he came. It was all part of the show. 
One that he hadn’t taken part in for quite some time. When he masturbated last night in the shower, he caught his reflection in the vanity mirror. He saw how his face contorted, how his body would buck and writhe without his control as he came against the shower wall, how in some ways, there was something objectively unsexy about how he came, no glossy angles to make sure his chin didn’t pull into different skin pockets, no ambient lighting to capture the ridges of his body. Just the pure experience of orgasming as a human being and nothing more. 
As he wiped up his mess, he decided to do a little chat with his subscribers. 
At least he didn’t moan that one person’s name like last time. 
Oh yeah. Jin what was that about? You have some girlfriend we don’t know about?
I thought he was gay. This is a gay site! 
You must be new here. He’s straight. 
Oh :( 
Maybe he’s been too busy fucking her to come play with us. 
I bet it’s boring sex. Who needs to do streams when they’re getting laid. You better tell her to satisfy you, or one of us will have to come show her how she could do better. 
“Yah, enough of that,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I don’t have a girlfriend. And I don’t want to talk about what happened that one time. It was a mistake. It won’t happen again. Anyway, I’m tired. Time for bed. I won’t make you wait as long for next time. Bye!” 
Ugh. What an awful stream. If it was going to be like this all the time, maybe he should have actually considered letting the website shut him down and take the cut. 
But then how would you get everything taken care of with the restaurant. 
He sighed. Is this how you experienced streaming too? He figured as much. His stomach tugged, disappointed he couldn’t talk to you about it. You always debriefed your streams with him, especially if you felt a little shitty during one. Now, because he was keeping this life of his separate from his life with you, he had no one who would understand to talk to about this. All he could ever do is provide support to you, but not you to him. It was still just as lonely doing this as it always had been. Only this time, Seokjin knew that it didn’t have to be this way. That some people could reveal other parts of themselves to get kernels of support when needed. 
But that wasn’t going to be him. He was alone in this. And as he dragged himself to bed, feeling sorry for himself, he didn’t notice that he left his phone on silent.
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“Detective? Are you there?” The svelte redhead approached my desk. I could see through the cameras that she helped herself to snooping around. Whatever she was gathering from my notebooks, it was a trap. 
Any good detective knows not to leave his mess around. Any clues she was trying to gather from this dark, dark world, they would be nothing compared to reality. 
Reality is darker. Betrayal, people thinking they know me because they know my past. 
I light a cigarette, inhaling deeply. The smoke swirls around my head like a cloud. It’s cloudy here in Seattle, and that promise of heavy rain reassures me. He’s going to try to move the kitty tonight, and I’m not about to let him use her as a distraction. 
She leans her large, milky tits over my desk. She’d look good there, spread out across it. I’m sure she knows too. Any dame like her would know what she’s worth. A tempting distraction, but I am too good to fall for it. 
“God what the fuck even is this?” You exit out of the screen on your tablet, the cover mocking you for even considering it. Whatever the hell you were expecting from Clues to My Heart’s raving 5-star reviews, this wasn’t it. This was a pile of absolute garbage. 
And it isn’t serving its purpose of distraction. You are still imagining the main character as Seokjin, only Seokjin in some twisted, fake machismo, desk set smutty nightmare of a book that is so full of plot holes and clichés that you know you can’t stomach it further. Reading an awful romance novel is clearly not the answer to escaping the awful feeling in your stomach. 
You delete it from your library and sigh, staring at the shelves of your apartment, debating if you really want to read something or just go to bed and let yourself cry. 
He stood you up. He stood you up and you looked the hottest you ever looked. This was going to be your attempt at connection, at knowing for sure that you were on the path toward something more intimate than friendship. 
But now, it was clear: whatever expectation you had for the two of you, it might as well be dead and buried with whatever body this stupid book is trying to solve the murder of. 
You tried calling him multiple times. His phone just rang on and on as the clock shifted from 10:15 to 10:30 to 12:00. For a moment, you thought maybe you got the date or time wrong. Maybe instead of tonight as in today he thought you meant tomorrow? 
Or maybe he lost track of time by finding a dog outside of your apartment, and then he had to go find its owner so he never had the chance to tell you he’d be late. 
But more realistically, maybe he just doesn’t want to see you and this silence is meant to be interpreted as a boundary. Seokjin is definitely the type who would feel bad rejecting you when you come onto him, and would apologize to you despite the fact that he’s not guilty. It’s happened before, in the kitchen incident. 
Even if it’s not that, it’s the fact that you carefully selected an outfit for tonight, a silky black slip dress that you are terrified to wear because there’s no part of you that you can hide. The slippery material will highlight every curve, every line (especially panty lines), and every droplet of moisture that you might dribble or sweat out. 
But in the last few months, you’ve been trying to do one thing every day that scares you. Today, it would appear you were going to go for two. And now, you are dealing with one terrifying thing that might just be worse than the first two: rejection. 
It’s humiliating. You know you’re going to go to work tomorrow and will have to see him knowing that there will be some awkward confrontation or avoidance game. You’ll have to speak to him. He’ll probably call you into the back office and let you down gently. Will reinforce the fact that he’s your boss and that things have gone too far or some bullshit. 
And then, just like how you’ve been cut out of the lives of people who meant something to you, it’ll happen again, as it always does. 
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1 Year Ago
It’s raining so hard that you can’t see the road, but you’re trying to drive through it anyway, trying to make it home in time so you won’t miss it. You got out of work late; you thought being a substitute teacher wouldn’t come with all the extra grading, but you were wrong. 
A year ago, the elementary school nearby shut down, and with it came the layoff of all its teachers. A stupid idea, really, because that meant an already over-enrolled school was forced to shuttle its students across town to the other elementary school, doubling its student body without doubling its teachers. Somewhere in the thick of it, you were looking for a job, living in your parents’ house trying to float from one career to the other. 
Your friends around you were moving; Wonwoo was already in a new time zone, making an upward move in every area. His former girlfriend-turned-fianceé worked in HR for a tech start-up and easily navigated getting him in as a coder. They had just secured a penthouse with a gorgeous view. His life was locked together. Your other friends, it seemed, had moved on in their lives as well. Two of them already had children and were married. Two more were engaged. Everyone else was jetting across the world on expeditions to places with sandy beaches and bottomless drinks. And there you were: mid twenties, desperate for change.
So when you saw the banner across the elementary school advertising a need for substitute teachers, you decided you were desperate enough to try. And as it turned out, you loved it. There was something magic about working with young children, seeing how they developed new ideas you would never in your adult dreams try to fathom. But to them, to fly across the world on a magical escalator or hippo was a true possibility and you wanted part of you to have that same freedom to dream of the impossible. Their creativity inspired you to push the boundaries of life and dream of more. 
Not to mention, it also landed you a boyfriend. One day while you were substituting for the gym teacher, nervously handing out kickballs to a bunch of fourth graders for class and praying they didn’t knock each other’s teeth out, someone stepped into the gymnasium and padded his way over to you, looking for his youngest sister to take her to a dentist appointment. And not too soon after, you and Do Woon had your first day date, which turned into a night date, and then a breakfast date. It was more like a 3-day date where the two of you spent the entire weekend rolling around in his sheets. You only managed to escape that awkward conversation with your parents because they were out of town for the weekend. If they had known any different, you would probably have died from embarrassment. 
Teaching has given you a lot of great things. But with that care comes a cost. You are now late for your father’s surprise birthday party and trapped in an insane rainstorm. 
You weave around fallen tree branches, trying not to obsess over the clock as the minutes roll smoothly into each other, knowing that by now, the surprise portion of the party is over. They’re probably eating cake now and reminiscing on his milestones. Your mother is probably chatting to your aunts and uncles about the renovations they’ve made to the main bathroom. Do Woon is supposed to be there, and if your instincts are right, you’ll be getting engaged tonight. 
It would be the perfect opportunity. All your family is there ready to celebrate, and your father who hates being the center of attention will have all the pleasure of dumping the focus onto you. 
Do Woon has been acting odd the last few weeks. You’ve been pretending not to notice, especially when recent conversations have been skirting around topics you two used to discuss regularly. You have a trip to Bali planned for the fall, which he once said is where he would want to honeymoon. He’s given very few details about this trip since he booked the flight almost three months ago, and you suspect that’s because he doesn’t want to give any spoilers about the honeymoon suites or couple packages you both looked over when you decided this was where you wanted to vacation. You’re not sure you have enough time to plan a wedding in six months, but if this is what Do Woon wants, who are you to say no? 
Since the start of your dating, he’s been thoroughly engrossed in a very specific timeline, and had no issues telling you so: he wanted to date for about a year, get engaged, get married (wherever you wanted, he insisted), have a honeymoon on some beachy shores and get started with making babies. He is the eldest of six. He wants a big family. 
You’ve talked him down from that number over the last few months, having him promise instead you will see how things go and will take it as it comes. While he wasn’t entirely pleased with that compromise, you think his agreement is a good enough answer. But that’s how Do Woon is. He plans his life down to every meticulous detail. Which is why even if you don’t think you can pull off planning a wedding in such a short window of time, you know he can. 
So tonight, you think it’ll happen. And unfortunately for you, you’re going to look like absolute rain-soaked garbage, the perfect accompaniment to your shitty day.
The once neatly wrapped gift next to you is now soggy from the downpour. You didn’t check the weather before heading into work today and left your umbrella in the car. It rolls around on the floor in front of the passenger seat, completely dry and mocking. 
At work, you found out that they’re continuing to make staffing cuts despite the shortage, as many families have chosen not to enroll in the school next year, instead moving their children to private schools closer to their homes or homeschooling. As desperate as they were to hire you, the work you put into the year you’ve been here is now about to just melt away. 
You don’t know how much longer you’ll have a job.
You anticipated this, of course, spent most of the fall applying for graduate programs. Of the ten applications you submitted, you’ve been waitlisted in two places: the local university here and the more modern (and urban) program not even remotely close to this place. You’d hoped when you sent those applications that things would be getting more serious with Do Woon, but it had only been a handful of months. You weren’t sure where the two of you were going. And now, you are hoping for the local program, not wanting to give up on your dream of teaching if it means you don’t have to.
Your phone lights up in the darkness of your car. One more missed call from your mother. But you’re so close, almost to your neighborhood. You know how poorly this is going to go. 
As you take a final turn, making your way down the street, you see the street has started flooding, barring you from your block. It’s no use, either. You can see on the block after yours that those crossroads are also flooded. The only way to get home is to do so on foot. So that’s what you do, park your car on the non-flooded side street, prop the sodden gift under your arm, grab your umbrella and head into the rain. 
The thing about thresholds is that they are a place where you exist in transition. From the street, you can hear a hum of music but don’t know the exact tune. You see faces lit by the warm lamps of your dining room, and can make out your uncle and your father’s boss. But you can also hear the rain thrumming on the roof, smell the Earth as the rain hits the soil. There’s the chill of the wind cutting through your damp clothing. The moment you step into the house, you’ll be someone else. A daughter still, but also someone else’s future wife. 
The warmth of the house touches your face when you step in, the loud voices you’d heard from the other side of the door now having owners: your aunt yelling at your young cousin not to touch something, the sharp guffaw of your dad’s best friend. 
You take off your soaked shoes and walk into the dining room. The cake has been cut, neat squares leaving only globs of frosting leaves behind on the golden tray. The neapolitan ice cream is abandoned and melting into an unappetizing brown sludge. Empty beer cans stack up on the table’s other end. 
Your stomach gurgles. You’ve barely eaten all day. But you know that will all happen soon. There’s time for cake and celebration after you see the birthday boy.
You find him in his favorite lounge chair, foot rest out as he relaxes and listens to some story one of his co-workers is telling about a client. 
“I’m telling ya, she had this massive tits that would knock over everything and everyone. So I says to her one day, you know what I says? ‘Ma’am, now pardon me for sayin’ so, I’m a respectable fella, but I think you might need to get a car blinker.’ And she asks me why and I says to her, ‘Because when you’re turnin’ around, we then’ll know to duck!’”
A roar of laughter bellows through the room, your father smirking at the story as he sips his beer. Ugh. You saunter over to him, fanning a smile across your face. 
“Hi Dad,” you say, and face the rest of the guests. “Hi everyone.” 
“Y/N! What the hell happened to ya, kid. Rainstorm getcha?” Your father’s boss asks.
You give an apologetic nod. “Yes, I was caught in it. Left work late. The road is flooded so be careful when you leave.”
“I drove over in the truck, so I’m fine,” he responds, sucking down the rest of his beer. “Ah, all out. Can I get you another Birthday Boy?” He nudges you with his elbow roughly. “What about you, hon?” 
“I’m, I’m all good. Thanks,” you say awkwardly, trying to ignore the way he’s looking at you up and down salaciously. This man is older than your father, is standing next to your father and behaving this way. It makes you want to strip your entire skin from your body and wash it in the washing machine. 
“Suit yourself. I’m gonna get some more of that cake anyways. You coming, Bill?” Bill, the apparent co-worker who was bragging about his evident sexual harassment, sighs. 
“Yeah, yeah. Well, if I don’t see ya, happy birthday again. Thank your wife for the dinner. It was great. And it was good to see you too,” Bill waggles his eyebrows and walks behind you through the foyer and into the dining room. For a brief moment, you swear you feel him cup your ass in passing. 
“Where have you been?!” Your mother’s voice carries across the room. You whip your head to search, finding her walking into the room from the back entrance to the kitchen. She must’ve been cleaning up because the front of her blouse is wet. 
“I was working and I had to stay late. And then the storm happened and I had to park down the street. I’m sorry.” 
“Well because of you, we awkwardly stood around for well over an hour waiting for you to show up and get everything set up so when your father walked in the door it would actually be a surprise. Which it wasn’t, by the way. He recognized Carl’s truck out front and I guess that was the big giveaway. You were supposed to help me with this, Y/N!”
Your father looks at your mother and sighs. “It was really no big deal. I hate surprises anyway.” 
“For a milestone birthday like this, you could use the surprise,” she asserts.
“Well, I got one anyway didn’t I?” He says sharply, standing up and walking out of the room. The gift in your hands feels like dead weight. You set it down onto his chair. 
“What happened?” You ask. 
Your mother walks closer, looking around the room to ensure no one else is listening. “Your father is being laid off. He found out today. And then when Carl and Bill and all them showed up, they kept talking about it. Turns out no one else in his department is being laid off. Just him.”
Your stomach sinks. Your father supplies most of the income that your family needs to stay afloat. He’s not expected to retire for a few more years. Which means if he gets laid off, he’ll lose a few years’ worth of extra employer contributions to his retirement fund. And his boss and co-workers being such assholes to rub it in? Fuck them. 
This wasn’t how you expected any of this to go. 
“Oh god. Poor dad.” Your mother nods. 
“Yeah, what a birthday. And you weren’t even there to share it with him because you were too busy to be here when it was the only time we needed you to show up. So thanks for that.” 
Her words are like knives. You feel yourself being sliced open from all the guilt. She’s not wrong. You’d been the one to organize most of this party, to convince her to follow through with it. And you missed it. People around you have begun departing, shouting happy wishes to your father. All his unwrapped gifts sit on the coffee table next to you, colorful paper pulled open. You missed the entire thing. 
“I didn’t mean to,” you try, but you know it's useless. Your mother waves goodbye to one of the neighbors. It’s stopped raining enough to not be a constant heavy click against the windowpane. 
“Well you did anyway. It is what it is. Now are you going to disappear on me during clean up or are you going to help me?” She begins to weave the discarded wrapping paper out from under the gifts, setting them into a neat pile on the coffee table. 
“I’ll get a trash bag,” you offer, and make your way through the house into the kitchen. Every surface is riddled with stacks of paper plates with balloons on them and plastic forks and spoons. A large yellow tupperware bowl idles by the sink, some vinegary salad now mixed with remnants of every other food from watermelon to potato chips. It’s the first thing you dump into the trash bag. 
You follow the garbage, in and out of the half bathroom and dining room, back to the living room when you notice someone is missing. 
“Mom,” you say. “Where’s Do Woon?” 
“Was he supposed to be here? Because I didn’t see him.” 
“He didn’t come?” 
“No, Y/N. Unless he is hiding upstairs in your room for some reason, I have not seen him at all tonight.” She dumps a pile of plates into the trash bag. “Think you can handle the rest? My feet hurt and your father and I need to discuss some things.” 
“Sure, I am just surprised he didn’t come. I thought–”
“God, honestly. For two seconds can you not think about yourself? It’s not your birthday.”
You fall silent, nodding your head as she steps out of the room and goes to find your father.
Something must be wrong, you think. You reach into your pocket and grab your phone, checking it for messages from Do Woon. 
There are many missed calls from your mother, but none from him. Strange. The last time you talked was today. You had reminded him what time the party started. He didn’t respond, but he read the message, and you were satisfied with that. 
You select his contact info and hit the call button. After a few seconds of ringing, it goes to voicemail. 
“Hey, it’s me. Not sure what happened tonight, maybe you got stuck in the storm. I know I did, it was crazy and I missed the entire party. Today’s been awful. But uh yeah, call me back when you get this. Love you.” 
Maybe he is stuck in a work meeting? He does work late, sometimes unexpectedly, putting in extra hours at his office until you are getting ready for bed. 
You shoot him a text. 
You 9:02PM: Hey, missed you at the party. Are you working late?Read 9:02PM
Immediately you can see he has opened it. But after ten minutes, there is no response. 
You 9:12PM: Everything okay? Read 9:12PM
You clean up the rest of the trash in the living room, tying off the bag and stepping outside. It has stopped raining. The world looks glassy as droplets fall from the tree limbs and refract the streetlights. You walk over to the trash bin, the glaze of cold water running down your hands as you deposit the bag in. You grab the mail. 
No acceptance letters. For some reason that feels like the cherry on top of the shittiness that is today. Your mother’s bitter words, your father’s exhaustion, the weather’s chaos weaving into your insecurity. It all feels like some horrible dream. 
You need Do Woon. He’s not much of a talker, but he is a good listener, and after a good ranting session, he’ll usually fuck the sadness out of you so you don’t have to think and afterward you’re usually too tired to do anything but sleep. That’s what you need right now. 
Where is he? It’s been a half hour and no response. Maybe you’re being paranoid and soon he’ll call and poke fun at how worried you seemed. Maybe he’ll be mad that you are interrupting a work meeting. But today has been awful. And all you want is to hear his voice. 
So you call him again, and this time it goes immediately to voicemail. 
You 9:38PM: What is going on? Read 9:38PM
You 9:39PM: Please answer me. I’m getting worried. Read 9:39PM
You 9:39PM: Babe!
Message failed to deliver. 
A glow falls onto the damp earth around you. You look around for the source and then up. As the rain clouds break apart above you, you realize you’re standing in the light of the moon. 
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He never called back. That was the end. When you think about it now, there were some vague signs of distancing, but it never amounted to anything that made sense. There, then gone, Do Woon cut you off one day and never looked back. 
Much to your embarrassment, you didn’t handle the situation well. That night, you tried calling him three more times, only to receive a message that the number you tried to reach was unavailable. You’d considered driving to his apartment, but as the night wore on, you started to put the pieces together. He didn’t want to talk to you. He’d blocked you, and you didn’t know why. 
For the first month after the ghosting-turned-break-up, you tried to get intel to figure out what happened, how you had so royally fucked up your relationship that he didn’t even want to tell you to your face. Unfortunately, most of your friends you’d made that year were through him, and with him cutting you off, so did most of your friends. 
Your parents were sympathetic, to a degree. You were given approximately two days to mope. And then you were told to start looking for better jobs in case you, like your father, would be laid off. 
“It’ll be a good distraction, I think!” Your mother had said. “Nothing says get over a relationship better than starting a new job.” 
You and your father passed job postings back and forth for the next week. You were less than thrilled with the job market. Sure, jobs existed, but none with your skillset or interests or desired pay. To gain anything you would have to make a choice to lose something else, and it twisted your gut at the prospect. 
But, in the midst of the heartache, came your rejection from the local university. It was for the best, really. You knew you only wanted to study there because of Do Woon, and without him being part of your life it didn’t matter anyway. 
And just as you were at the end of your optimism, ready to let hope die and surrender to the dreamless haze, an email came in with an acceptance into the final university. A big city laid before you to explore. 
Things snapped into place. You finished up the school year and told your parents you were moving out. 
And now you’re here, in an apartment all to yourself, attending your dream program (or at least trying to) and learning how to cook a halfway decent meal. An apartment that has you rotting on a couch as you try to remind yourself that what happened with Do Woon was a fluke, and not anything you did wrong. And it certainly isn’t some sign that you’re doomed to repeat the same fate again.  
You’ve learned in the last few weeks that he’s engaged to someone he met through a matchmaking service. In his profile picture, his future bride is holding an ultrasound photo and he has his hands on her very large belly. “Coming this summer: our own ray of sunshine” the caption reads. 
You can’t imagine him ever saying that. He always hated cheesy things. But that’s the surprising thing about all of this: you also never expected him to ghost you and immediately start seeing someone else. 
He was a fluke in the timeline. Not a rule, right? You know this. You know not everything happening once means you’re doomed to repeat it forever. 
But why is that all you can think about with Seokjin? 
You went to work this morning, and he said nothing. No, he probably won’t disappear into the abyss because he manages this place. But when his parents return, will he then? Is he just biding his time before he vanishes? 
You hope not. God, you really hope not. 
The day rolls on without a word between either of you. Maybe this is how it should be, you think. Two people. Uncomplicated. Not tied to each other by strands of anything. 
Fate. This is how it works. It brings people together and then it pulls them apart. 
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©2024 by jooniperbonsai
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kmesons · 3 months ago
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tumblr user kmesons will ask if anybody's made one of their favourite rarepairs try to kill each other yet and not wait for an answer
(there is context for this) (it is under the cut if you're interested but don't feel obligated to read my excessive rambling)
essentially, this is part of an AU I've come up with regarding these two and their respective lords. if I was able to write efficiently I would definitely write this but I cannot (on account of The Perfectionism) so I will relay a condensed version here.
wiggly is, for petty rivalry reasons, looking to mess with his dear brother pokotho. crucially, he knows that one timeline is set to undergo the apotheosis, as per pokey's wishes. presumably, this isn't the tgwdlm timeline, but we don't know yet whether that is the only timeline where this occurred, so I'll assume not unless this is confirmed as canon. it really doesn't matter to the AU, as its events take place before tgwdlm could occur.
if there's anything pokey despises, it's things not going his way, his perfect spectacle being meddled with. wiggly knows this, and he wants to capitalise on it using the soon-to-be-apotheosised timeline.
thus, wiggly sends his disciple, wiley, to this timeline, with the instructions to kill a certain paul matthews and introduce the singular voice's leading man early. paul doesn't know emma's name yet and the meteor will not be coming for several months, at least. pokey's contagion doesn't exist in any timelines at this point. however, by drawing on a little bit of the black and white's (and specifically pokey's) power, the apotheosis can be incited in a corpse (this isn't canon, just a concept I came up with to supplement the AU). importantly, pokey won't notice the stealing of his power or the addition of infected!paul to his consciousness, since this timeline is already saturated with his interference. the hive mind always embodies pokey's will, and it was always his will to apotheosise this timeline, so, though the stage is not yet set, the hive mind will not hesitate to go through with the overtaking of humanity.
wiley obeys wiggly (there isn't a choice, really) and expects to leave after the apotheosis has been kickstarted. however, with no new orders from wiggly, against his better judgement, he sticks around after infected!paul stirs.
on the lords' side, pokey finds out about wiggly's "gift" fairly quickly, and is predictably furious that his show has been ruined. with no heroic journey for his protagonist and the hive mind's brain leading the apocalypse, there can be no climax, no victorious narrative. hatchetfield is quickly overtaken as pokey and wiggly have an eldritch sibling standoff in the black and white.
eventually, they come to a tense agreement: pokey won't interfere with wiggly's apocalypse as revenge as long as he gets to remold the ruined timeline to his liking.
the events of tgwdlm are enacted by the infected in hatchetfield, "resetting" the narrative (although not infected!paul's memories), and pokey's contagion spreads across the world in the way he was originally planning. wiley finds themself visiting this timeline often, mostly to see paul. the two cause chaos together and just generally make each other worse (affectionate).
after the hive mind has succeeded, tensions once more rise between wiggly and pokey. this timeline, in wiggly's eyes, has no uses, as not only is it "imperfect", but the apocalypse has taken place and pokey has gotten what he wanted. pokey wants to hold onto it just to spite wiggly. important to this part of the plot is the idea that there are limited timelines, and an adjacent (and likely canon-divergent) idea that new ones can be created only as long as the limit has not been reached. in this case, the maximum number of timelines exist, which means that one must be destroyed (again, all of this likely does not make sense in canon, which is why I'm calling it an AU) in order for the lords (wiggly) to have a new one to play with.
in order to convince pokey to get rid of the timeline, wiggly reasons that he must ruin this one. permanently. and what better way to do so than to kill the hive mind's brain, pokey's prophet?
only the black blade can eliminate those imbued with the lords' power (I am. making this up. this is not canon), and so, once again, wiley kneels before wiggly, and once again, wiggly's directions are clear: kill paul matthews. or rather, this time, kill what used to be paul matthews. and if anything—some inane attachment, perhaps—gets in the way, wiggly will finish the job for him.
wiley obliges, entering the apotheosised timeline for the last time, by which point pokey has learned of his brother's plot. cue Epic Battle between wiggly's forces (the sniggles? I suppose? I'm not entirely certain) and the hive mind as wiley makes his way towards the starlight theatre, where he knows paul will be waiting.
this is the part where they try to kill each other
as much as infected!paul is undead and the prophet of a deity, his true strength is in the hive. he does not win this fight. wiley doesn't really win either, but paul's the one who dies.
if you read all of that (or just scrolled past it, which is fine too), then congratulations (I am so sorry)! here's an alternate version as compensation
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malfiora · 2 months ago
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I'm rewriting Jason's resurrection and reconciliation with the fam for my own sanity:
Jason dies tragically and horrifically at age 15
A year later, Superboy Prime punches through universes, collapsing two realities onto each other: one where Jason dies, the other in which he survives. Jason comes back to life but is semi-conscious. Talia finds him and takes him to the League
Jason regains full consciousness after a dip in the Lazarus. For two years, Jason trains and slowly regains his memories. Once he's 18, he decides to return to Gotham, despite Talia's wishes
Quickly becomes clear that Gotham hasn't changed much, which disappoints Jason. He decides to put his League training to use and control crime as a harm reduction tactic, and he goes back and forth on contacting Bruce, especially after he hears rumors of a new Robin
Joker pops up with a new scheme, and this is the last straw. Jason concocts a plan to kidnap and finally kill Joker and confront Batman about all the ways he's failed him and Gotham. When Batman refuses to kill Joker, Jason feints like he's going to kill Tim to "save him the trouble" since Batman clearly cares so little for his sidekicks. ("Hey, kid, at least I'll make it painless.") This gets a reaction from Batman, who incapacitates Jason and rescues Robin. Jason retreats to lick his wounds and reconsider everything
Jason takes time to ruminate on all of this. He's still hurt that his death meant nothing in the grand scheme of things but thinks about Batman's reaction to Tim being in danger and has to wonder if that's how he acted when Jason was in that warehouse
Out of morbid curiosity and a little bit of fanboyishness, Tim monitors Jason. Jason knows this and eventually confronts him. He feels bad for scaring Tim but has to maintain his edge so he tries not to be too scary. At some point, Tim speaks his mind and tells Jason that he has no idea what things were like while he was dead. "Batman was a mess, he almost killed people. That's why I became Robin. I had to put him back together, so you don't get to act like you know everything that happened the past 3 years because you been back a couple months." Jason takes this in. They part ways. (Jason: "Don't die." Tim: "Don't change.")
The Chemo incident happens. Jason rushes to Blüdhaven to make sure Dick is alive and okay, thus revealing he's alive to the Titans. After the dust settles, he and Dick talk privately so that Dick can react properly. (Dick: "No, Batman didn't tell me." Jason: "Yeah, he has a habit of doing that.")
Jason gets to ask if Tim's claim of Batman being a mess is founded. It is. He asks Dick if it's worth doing things the same way. "It is." That doesn't help.
Eventually Jason and Bruce have their equivalent of a heart to heart. Basically they both go, "I love you even if I think you're wrong."
Jason forms the Outlaws, but the moment he gets the distress call from the fam, he comes rushing back to help. He's offended that Bruce is surprised (Tim is hopeful, Dick isn't remotely shocked)
When Dick "dies," Jay comes back to take his place as Eldest Son. He sticks around through the end of the Robin War
Other important events that definitely happen but just don't fit neatly into a timeline:
Barbara and Jason team up on a mission shortly after Bruce tells Barbara that Jason is back. She's happy and immediately falls into big sister/mother hen mode and chides him for not seeing her sooner and makes him promise to stop by the clocktower regardless of whatever is happening between him and Bruce. She promises to help him upgrade his tech if he does. (Barbara has always been more lenient with killers and believes wholly in second chances.)
Cass stops Jason from killing someone who "deserves it," resulting in them fighting. Cass is better trained but she refuses to kill Jason, who won't stop. Eventually, they call a ceasefire and talk a bit. "All life has meaning," Cass says. Jason scoffs. "Even the Joker's?" "All life," she insists. Jason quietly disagrees but he respects Cass's determination. This starts a back and forth of him testing her anytime they're grouped together. ("Even this lowlife, Cass?" or "She's worth your own life?" or "They wouldn't spare you, why bother?") Each and every time she sticks to her principles.
Jay and Steph grab food together after a patrol one night and bond over being the family outcasts (i.e. the ones Bruce doesn't implicitly trust). Jason vows to make Steph his Robin if he ever becomes Batman. She laughs but is secretly touched
***I can never decide what to do with Damian. On the one hand, it's hilarious if Jason knows about him and keeps quiet about it. On the other, I don't see why Jason wouldn't tell Bruce about Damian's existence. Maybe once he's on speaking terms with Bruce again, he does tell him about Damian, which then prompts Jason to encourage Talia to let Damian meet Bruce. This is accelerated by Talia discovering Ra's' plan for Damian and wanting to get Damian away from the League
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catboyfelixer · 8 months ago
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I Hope You’ll Always Be My Guardian Angel | Lee Felix
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Pairing: Felix x GN!Reader Summary: Felix is a guardian angel-in-training, and you’re his last assignment before he can graduate. Genre: Fluff, Humor Notes: Jeongin also makes an appearance in this <3
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All Felix could hear was pencils on paper scribbling away, students flipping to the back of the test that he had finished half an hour ago. This was not his first rodeo. This wasn’t even his second rodeo. But every time he failed his in-person assessment, he had to come back and do the written test all over again.
All he wanted to do escape the white walls, floors, uniforms, furniture, everything, and get back to Earth. The only other color in the room were the black numbers on the white clock, ticking agonizingly slow. Normally he would drift off into daydreams about his next assignment on Earth to pass the time. But lately those daydreams would turn into embarrassing memories of failing his exams on Earth and dread about failing them all over again.
At least he wasn’t alone. Most of his classmates had passed on their first try, but Jeongin being here too made him feel a bit better. He was asleep on the desk next to Felix’s, drooling a bit on the test. He always looks peaceful, even smiling in his sleep. Felix wishes he could be this laid-back about failing as many times as they have. Whenever Felix has doubts about ever graduating, Jeongin throws an arm around him and tells him they’ll make it eventually, even if it takes a hundred years. Hopefully they’ll both pass this time, and join their friends as full-fledged guardian angels.
The instructor rings the chimes, playing a melodic tune to signal the end of the exam. Felix shakes Jeongin awake, and they get ready to find out who they’ll be assigned to for the next two weeks.
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You slammed the door to your apartment as you walked in, and dropped your bag on the ground. The loud thud didn't startle you, and you didn't care about all your textbooks splaying out. Who cares about the tripping hazard.
Yeah, it was one of those days.
First, you spilled coffee on your new shirt. You were too far from home to change and you were running late for class anyway.
Second, none of your group had anything prepared for their parts in the group project. Nothing! They had two weeks to do literally anything. You'll have to bring this up to the professor before the presentation tomorrow.
Third, your laptop just completely died during your last class of the day. All the notes you took- gone.
Fourth, you banged your elbow on the door frame on the way out of class. Maybe you would've been calm if it was only three things. But come on.
You're lucky nothing happened on the way home, who knows if you would've lost your mind.
You hear a knock at the door. After a brief pause, there are two more louder knocks.
Fifth, someone's at your door. On your bad day.
You mentally compose yourself, taking a deep breath before walking to the door.
When you open it, you're blinded by bright lights enveloping a figure in the hallway. You cover your eyes and hear a voice.
"Oh, sorry. Let me turn that down." The figure reaches up and turns down the light coming from the halo on his head.
...
...Halo?
You look back, and see a man dressed in all white from head to toe. He has shoulder length blonde hair, what seems to be a halo floating on top of his head, and a pair of translucent wings behind him.
"Um... Be not afraid?" he says, tilting his head as if he's the one confused here.
You just stare at him blankly. Why is there a man dressed like an angel at your door.
He sticks out his hand, hoping for a handshake. When you just continue staring at him in bewilderment, he clears his throat and tries again.
"Hello, my name is Felix and I'll be your guardian angel for the next two weeks." The way he says it is stilted, as if he's practiced saying this beforehand.
"What?" is all you manage to say at first. This is so completely bizarre.
"I've never been good at this part. Can I come in? It'll be easier to explain if I can sit down and read my cue cards," he explains, already walking past you and into the living room behind you. He trips on the bag you left on the floor and stumbles into a side table, knocking over a potted plant.
Sixth.
He stands up, wipes the dirt off his pants, and continues walking like nothing happened. He sits down on the old black leather couch your parents gave you and some cue cards appear in his hands out of thin air.
He flips through them, nodding at each card before they magically disappear when he's finished reading them. Looking up at you, he smiles and pats the couch next to him, which you ignore.
"Like I said, my name is Felix and I'm in training to be a guardian angel. You're my assignment for my exam. Nice to meet you!" He puts out his hand for you to shake again, and this time you hesitantly take up the offer.
"Ok, let me get this straight. Guardian angels exist. Ok. I guess this might as well happen," you start, finally taking a seat across from him, "But why only two weeks? Do I just... not get a guardian angel after that?"
"Don't worry, you didn't have one before this and you were just fine, right?"
Considering the day you just had, that's debatable.
"Why does an angel need to take an exam? Aren't you, like, just born knowing how to angel?"
"No, that's silly. And also, I wasn't born," he says, not elaborating on why that's silly or how angels are made.
"I wasn't born either," you lie. You shouldn't be the only one caught off guard today.
"Oh, that's interesting," he responds. He pulls out a notepad and a pencil and writes that down. Did he... believe you?
Somehow you find that endearing. Just a little bit.
"Oh yeah, I have more cue cards to get through."
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He follows behind you on your walk to the grocery store like a puppy. Every so often he yells out "BE CAREFUL!" just before you step on a rock.
"WATCH OUT!"
He pulls you towards him, wrapping his arms around your waist and tucking his chin in the crook of your neck. He's unexpectedly warm, warmer than any person you've been in an embrace with. Are angels known to be warm? You'll have to look that up later. You subconsciously lean into him, and against your own will, you notice your heart beating harder in your chest.
You look around, expecting a bike to be barreling towards you or something, but he points to the ground where a squirrel runs by your feet. When it's gone, he lets you go, and the warmth retreats too. You turn around to question him, but he starts talking first.
"Phew, that could've been dangerous, good thing I was here," he says. He wipes some non-existent sweat off his forehead and gives you a thumbs up.
"There's no way that would've been dangerous," you start, but he's too busy mentally patting himself on the back for a job well done. He doesn't hear you at all.
You sigh, and you guess this is what your life will be like for the next two weeks.
When you get to the store, no one seems to notice the wings or the halo. But what they do notice is the kindhearted guy helping the little old lady get some organic cereal off the top shelf, and the pretty boy making funny faces at a crying baby to calm her down. You definitely notice the cute way he furrows his brow while reading the shopping list, making sure you didn't forget anything. And how he offers to carry the heavy bags for you when you finish paying. He's lifting an entire bag of flour under one arm, and two more reusable shopping bags with his other hand. He's kind of... nice to have around, you think.
You don't think about his pretty face or his toned arms carrying your groceries, not at all.
The two of you walk home, side-by-side. Your thoughts wander to what happens after. Will he go inside the apartment again? Where is he living while on Earth. He's not expecting to stay the night, is he? You just met him. Then again, he is your guardian angel. If anything, it's probably better to have him close by. Just in case. You turn to ask him where he's staying, but he suddenly stops in his tracks and stares past you, further down the street. He squints to see something, and then a big goofy smile spreads across his face.
You look, and there's two men in the distance. One is just a regular dude eating a hotdog. The other guy... is another angel. He's wearing the same all white outfit as Felix, and there's a halo floating above him emitting a soft light.
"Jeongin!" he calls out, and when the angel turns, his translucent wings catch the light of his halo and become barely visible.
'Jeongin' smiles brightly and waves in your direction. Felix drops your groceries and jogs to catch up with his friend. They do a complicated handshake and start talking, which would be cool if you weren't left with all the heavy bags on the ground.
Above you, you hear a man shout 'Mamma mia!' and when you look up, a giant black blur falls out of a balcony.
A crash roars through the street, followed by a perfect C major chord, and when Felix turns around there's a broken grand piano where you once stood.
"Ah.... shoot."
The last thing Felix sees before being teleported away is the man next to Jeongin falling over after choking on his hot dog.
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A moment later, and Felix is back in a very familiar room. White walls, white carpet, a white couch and a white coffee table greet him once again. He takes a seat, and Jeongin appears in the room too.
"I lasted longer this time!" Jeongin exclaims, punching his fist in the air as a show of victory.
"By literally half a second."
"Still counts," Jeongin responds, and Felix rolls his eyes.
"So what happened to your guy?"
"I think the hotdog was bad, I don't know," Jeongin says, scratching his chin. "He got it from back of some guys car. Maybe food poisoning."
The sound of the door swinging open grabs their attention, and they watch as their principal walks in.
"How can there already be two people back, the exam just start- oh"
Principal Park sighs as he looks at the two students in his office. Of course it's these two again. He adjusts his glasses and addresses them.
"You both know the drill, be back for the written test in two weeks," he says, and leaves them alone in the lobby again.
Felix stands up to leave, and a familiar phrase escapes his lips.
"You know, I'm starting to think we might not be good at this."
Jeongin wraps his arm around Felix's shoulder, and says the same thing he always does when doubt creeps in.
"This was just a test round! Next time is the real deal. We'll get it for sure!"
And with that, they leave to prepare for their next exam, memories of their latest failure already being buried away.
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erooca · 1 year ago
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daycare pt. 2
ellie williams x reader
description: ellie williams is forced to work at a daycare. in part two, she gets more comfortable with her new job and with you. 2.5k words
omg im so happy a lot of people liked the first one!!! i hope u guys like this one too. i love writing ab ellie and am open to any suggestions you may have!!
part one: https://www.tumblr.com/erooca/724971592933834752/daycare
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ever since you met ellie, you started seeing her more around your campus. every once in a while, y’all would go study together or maybe grab a coffee, but she’s never invited you back to her dorm before, at least not until right now.
like the gentleman she is, she held the door open and you walked in, instantly getting hit with the scent of ellie. specifically a nice, light scent of tobacco vanilla, which felt very on point for the freckled girl.
her dorm was small, smaller than yours since she had one to herself, while you shared with roommates. all that was in here was a bed, a desk, a mini fridge, storage, and a door leading to a bathroom.
her back wall was filled with little sketches everywhere. you knew she liked to draw, but you had no idea it meant this much to her. you took in all the drawings, examining them one by one. you see sketches of horses, dinosaurs (no surprise there), sunsets and just a lot of landscapes in general, and you see a few of an older looking man. you assume it’s her father.
ellie is watching you nervously as you examine all her drawings. she was scared as shit that you were finally in her dorm, but she also had a tingling feeling in her heart because you were surrounded completely by her and only her at the moment. she could get used to this.
it had been two weeks since her first day at the daycare. for two whole weeks, her thoughts have been plagued by you. she was loving it. she loved spending a full eight hour shift with you. just to see you, she would even come in five or ten minutes early.
she wasn’t very secretive about her crush on you. she did a lot of things for you. if you went on break earlier than her, she’d pick you up something to eat and would forbid you from paying her back. she would also buy things you had mentioned you needed for the classroom. one time, she even brought you a candy bar since she noticed you weren’t as energetic as your usual self.
even after all these gracious gifts, you were oblivious. it drove ellie insane. she really didn’t want to have to confess it out loud to you. she was really hoping you’d just take the hint and ask her out yourself. ellie has a bit of a hard time with rejection and she can’t imagine pouring out her feelings to you just for you to tell her you didn’t feel the same about her.
“hey.. is this one of king’s drawings?” you said, pointing at a colorful and bright picture. it had two stick figures with a hell of a lot of scribbles.
“oh yeah, he said he drew it for me,” ellie smiled, reliving the memory. king had told her it was a drawing of her and him hanging out together. ellie asked if she could keep the drawing and of course king said yes.
“that’s so sweet,” you smiled brightly. you were so happy ellie already made a strong connection with one of the students. the best part about working with kids is seeing the way you influence them and make them better humans.
ellie nodded.
“so, did ya’ wanna order pizza and watch a movie?” ellie asked.
“that sounds like a perfect way to relax after a week of working.”
you guys settle onto ellie’s bed (since there’s no couch) watching a random movie on netflix waiting for the pizza.
it was a really good night. you wish you could spend every night like this.
the next monday, you were eagerly waiting for ellie to enter the classroom door. you were so excited to see her. you guys had such a great time on saturday, and you couldn’t wait to be in ellie’s presence again.
when the door opened, all the children screamed out ellie’s name, getting up to go give her a hug.
“ellie!! guess what my mom did this weekend!!” a blonde girl named charlie asked.
“i went to the park yesterday ellie!!” pippa told her.
“hey! hey! ellie!” another kid called for attention.
ellie laughed and listened to each of the kids one by one. it warmed your heart so much seeing your students gathered around ellie, telling her stories and giving her hugs. you felt like you could burst from the warmth that spread throughout your body.
when she was finished, she got up and locked eyes with you. she greeted you and that was when you noticed two starbucks cups in her hands. she sheepishly handed one of them out to you.
“ellie, you shouldn’t have done this,” you said, taking the cup from her even though it contradicted your words.
“gotta get a coffee for my favorite coworker,” her lips rose into a half smile.
you brought the drink up to your lips and sipped. you’ve had starbucks countless times, but this one tasted different. it tasted amazing and you know it’s because it was ellie who bought it for her. you thanked her.
the day continued on as usual. while you were outside, you watched as the kids ganged up on ellie to chase her and take her to “jail”. you watched her run, taking the game a little too seriously. it made you think how she’d probably survive a zombie apocalypse, if it ever happened.
she easily got cornered and king tugged her hand, leading her to the fence. some of the other kids did a locking motion, acting as though ellie was chained to the fence.
“don’t get out!!!” one of the boys, william, said.
you made your way over, innocently.
“how’s jail?” you ask.
“oh, ha ha,” she said sarcastically, then her eyes lit up, as if she had a great idea, “hey.. unlock me!” she said, glancing at her hands.
“you do realize you aren’t actually locked in, right?” you ask, laughing.
ellie scoffs. you follow through with her request anyway, motioning an unlocking gesture. then ellie bolted.
“HEY! they let ellie out! get both of them!” one of the kids yelled.
now both of you were running for your lives from a big group of three year olds.
once you guys came inside, you had lunch, and then nap time. when the kids woke up, you opted to do floor toys and just keep them all on the colorful alphabet rug.
you sat with the children, watching them build with the duplo legos. they were each having you look at what they made. you praised them each time, suggesting they add a different colored block or make it taller. soon, you felt a bit tired so you laid down onto the carpet.
this turned out to be a bad idea when half of your students rolled on top of you, leaving you no room to even move. all you could hear was the sounds of your three year olds giggling, as they tortured you.
you called out for help from ellie but was met with the response of laughter coming from her.
wow. your own friend. you thought up your revenge plan quickly, “everyone!!!” you shouted, catching their attentions, “go give ellie a kiss!!”
“what? no- no,” but it was too late. the kids ran up to her, giving her kisses on her arms and hands. a few even gave her a kiss on the cheek.
“payback,” you smirk at her, watching as she’s trying to control the kids now.
“oh you’re evil,” she responds, playfully narrowing her eyes at you.
the rest of the day went by fast, but this time ellie wasn’t leaving when you got down to less kids. maria had asked that you go through all the cleaning duties with her that are required for closing. you agreed, obviously excited to spend even more with her. you decided to wait until all the children were gone to start teaching it. it would allow you to give ellie your full focus.
all the kids were called to leave one by one and soon it was 6:00 and all the kids had went home. it was just ellie and you in the room. you could already feel the intense butterflies moving through you. god, your crush had gotten bad.
ignoring the feeling in your stomach that was so extreme it almost hurt, you showed ellie the closet.
“so we keep the vacuum and broom in here, and all of the cleaning chemicals. there’s bleach water, soapy water, floor spray, and a bathroom cleaner,” you explain to ellie.
you went inside to pull out the vacuum but with a mighty tug, the vacuum wouldn’t come loose. it was stuck in between the children’s mats. you said a naughty word but kept trying.
“here, let me help,” ellie said from outside the closet, stepping inside.
“wait! don’t let the door—“
click
“shut..”
“oh fuck. did i just lock us in here?” ellie asked, wide eyed as soon as she heard the click of the lock.
“uhh.. yeah. you did. it’s alright, i’m sure someone will find us soon,” you said, hopeful.
the closet wasn’t super tight, but it definitely wasn’t spacious. you were a little too close to ellie for comfort. you could already feel your heart racing. someone better find you guys soon, or you might have a heart attack.
“i’m gonna see if maybe i can like.. jam the door open,” you said, trying to switch spots with ellie so you were closer to the door. you couldn’t ignore the way your skin touched hers in an effort to get across.
you started wiggling the handle with all your might, trying to move it up, down, and side to side. it wasn’t budging.
“try moving it like this,” ellie had found her way right behind you. she rested her hand on the door handle where yours was. your pinkies overlapped and ellie started jiggling the handle too.
you looked to your side and noticed she had her other hand resting on the door, for support, to the right of your head. she was basically leaning over you, trapping you within her arms.
“yeah we’re not getting out of this any time soon,” ellie states, letting her hand rest on the door knob.
you finally turned around to face her and it both hit you how close you both had gotten. your back was against the door and she was right in front of you, only maybe a foot away.
ellie felt a dust of pink wash over her cheeks as she realized how close she was to you. she hadn’t meant to position you like this, but she wasn’t complaining.
ellie was keeping her eyes locked with yours and neither of you guys made an attempt to move. you could hear as her breath was moving more rigid.
it was becoming too much for you, and you glanced down, forcing your head to look at the ground. you tried to relax your heart that seemed as though it was clawing out of your chest.
a soft hand rose to the bottom of your chin, and pulled it upwards, forcing you to look back at ellie.
“don’t.” ellie whispered, not taking her eyes off of you.
you don’t think you’ve ever desired someone as much as you desired ellie right now. you were so close to grabbing her face, giving her as many kisses as she deserved, but instead you stood still, frozen under ellie’s dominant position.
ellie took the hand from your chin and moved it to gently tuck a wisp of hair behind your ear, “wanna see your pretty face…” she let her hand rest on her cheek.
your whole face turned a blushy color at her words. how was this girl you met only a few weeks ago making you sink into a puddle?
“ellie..” you breathed out, scanning her face, trying to decipher any thought she might have. from up this close, you could see how irregular her pattern of freckles were. how they were different shades of the same color. you could count them all from this position, and you happily would.
“can i please kiss you?” ellie asked, in almost a puppy dog voice.
you didn’t trust yourself with your voice right now (hell, you’d probably accidentally propose to her), so you gave a sweet nod.
she took a step closer to you, bodies mere inches from colliding, she watched your eyes and glanced to your lips.
“are you sure?” she asked, wanting to confirm that this is genuinely what you wanted. her eyes went back up to yours and she searched them.
instead of answering, you moved forward closing the gap. your soft lips met with her chapped ones. ellie made a noise of surprise at your sudden movement, but easily got comfortable, kissing you back.
she pulled back after a moment, but stayed close to your face.
“holy fuck,” she breathed out, trying to regain any sense of herself she had previously.
before you had a chance to say anything, she reconnected her lips with yours. she placed her hands on your hips, pulling you in closer. you crossed your hands around her neck. you don’t ever think you’ve felt this kind of rush before. all you knew was that you wanted ellie closer. you wanted to be surrounded by her completely. now that you’ve kissed her once, you don’t think you’ll ever be able to stop kissing her.
she slowly started kissing along your jawline, and then trailing her lips down your neck. you giggling at the sensation from the way it tickled your skin.
ellie liked the way your throat felt under her mouth. she continued to leave soft kisses all on you. you could feel your hunger for her grow stronger and stronger.
just then the door swung open, leaving you to fall on the ground, and ellie tumbling over you. you both groaned in pain.
maria stood in front of you two’s lying bodies. she cleared her throat awkwardly. it was obvious she saw what you guys were doing before you fell.
“i’m not gonna talk about what i just saw, but how many times have i told you not to let that door shut??” maria said, only acting angry to wash away the awkward feeling of walking in on her (basically) niece making out with one of her best workers.
“it was my fault, maria. i let the door close,” ellie said, taking the blame. she stood up from the ground, and then held out a hand to you. you gladly took it and she pulled you up.
maria sighed in frustration, “don’t let it happen again, and get this room clean. we lock up in 15 minutes.”
as soon as she leaves the room, you erupt in giggles, thinking of how shocked maria’s face was. ellie joined your laughter, just now realizing how silly the situation had become.
knowing there wasn’t any time left to dilly-dally, you two sped cleaned the room.
you hoped the next couple days would be full of more closet kisses, more of those loving looks ellie had given you today, or even wishful touches throughout the hours.
unknown to your knowledge, ellie was planning on giving you every single one of those for the rest of her life.
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avocadorablepirate · 6 months ago
Note
Hi ! How are you my dear? I hope you are well💗
I had an idea about Law,Then I remembered that you said it was okay for me to submit a request
so this is my idea: What if Caeser kidnapped the reader’s younger sister, who has a younger sister complex, so she followed the ship and arrived at Bank Hazard to rescue her, and there she met Law and the crew, and after retrieving her, she learned that he had given her drugs. Then Law treated her, and she was very grateful to him and wanted to return the favor.
Hi! I'm doing good, and I hope you are too! And thank you for submitting a request. It's my first one, so I'm super excited! 💕 I'm also sorry this took so long, I would just randomly get hit with writers block and then it would take me a while to get back into it 🥲.
I tried to stick to the prompt as much as possible, and I hope I didn't miss anything . Since I tried not to give too many spoilers, there are quite a few breaks in between, so it does feel a little rushed in my opinion. But I still hope you like it!
×××
Rescue at Punk Hazard
Pairing: Trafalgar Law x fem!reader (platonic, but honestly they're more like acquaintances)
Word Count: 4.1K
Warnings: Punk Hazard spoilers (but nothing too big), proof read but also not proof read....I think that's all (do let me know if I've missed anything) . Also, it's implied that there's quite a bit of an age gap between the reader and her sister.
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You had heard the rumours circulating your town. Children had started to disappear; the explanation being that they were lost at sea. But it had been too many in too short a time. And as if you were not already protective of your five year old sister - these rumours only fueled your overprotectiveness. The two of you had been abandoned a year after she was born - at least that's what it had looked like when you woke up in a small house outside of town; no memory of your parents. And since then you had vowed to do anything within your power to protect her.
Except your sister had finally had enough and run out of the house. She was tired of you not letting her go out to play by herself with the other children. You had thought of running after her, but had decided that maybe you needed to give her some space - which you would later come to decide was against your better judgement.
Hours had passed; and it was starting to get dark. The anxiety was slowly building up inside you as countless scenarios ran through your mind. You dashed out of the house and to the shore where you knew most of the children played, eyeing every street and alley that you passed, in hopes of finding your sister. Your feet carried you all the way to the secluded cove, but she was nowhere to be found.
"Kara!" you screamed her name at the top of your lungs, in hopes of getting a reply, but the tears that sat at the brim of your eyes already knew that you would not.
"You're too late." You jumped at the sudden voice. A few feet away stood a tall man with a top knot, his attire different from what the people of your town usually wore.
"You're looking for a child aren't you?" You could only nod your head in response, still surprised by the man's presence. He seemed as tensed as you were, but tried his best to cover it with a glare.
"A ship just took them," he revealed, and paused as he contemplated over his next words, "If you'd like, you can join me. I'm going after them."
Without a second thought you agreed.
××××
Accompanied by a man you now knew as Kin'emon, you trailed the ship that had taken your sister, and his son, to Punk Hazard. If it hadn't been for the worry that had washed over you; setting out to sea would have excited you. After reading countless stories about people's adventures at sea, you had silently longed to have one of your own. But you had responsibilities, you told yourself. You couldn't just leave a five year old to fend for herself. And if recent events had proven anything, it was that you needed to look out for your sister at all times.
On reaching the island, you pushed aside your thoughts of adventure, and let the dread settle over you again. The ominous island divided into ice and magma was shrouded in mystery that left you on edge. But there was no looking back, you were determined to rescue your sister.
When the ship docked, you followed behind Kin'emon as the two of you ventured further into the island. Although mostly desolate, you finally came across a huge building, and for a moment your heart swelled with joy. From where you stood, you witnessed as the children from your town were ushered into the building, your sister among them. But before you could run to her, a hand caught onto you and held you back.
"This place might be heavily guarded, we can't just rush in," Kin'emon said, pulling you behind a large rock to hide yourselves.
"That it is."
A voice from behind startled you, and you quickly turned around to find a man dressed in a long black coat, jeans and a fur hat smirking at you. Kin'emon was quick to draw his katana, but before either of you could even comprehend what was happening, he had been split into pieces. Letting out a gasp, you looked at the man responsible, he still wore the same smirk. You were scared, but you pulled out your own katana - ready to attack. However, with one quick strike to the head he had rendered you unconscious. You felt your senses slowly slip away, the last thing you remembered was a pair of arms slip under you, lifting you off the ground, and Kin'emon's shouts of protest before you gave in to the darkness.
××××
As your consciousness gradually returned, you felt the cool of metal pressed against your frame, and heard the faint sound of urgent voices. Disorientation still gripped at you as you continued to make sense of your surroundings, and through your blurry vision you noticed someone knelt over you.
"For how long has she been out?" you heard someone ask.
"Almost a week. Some man did this to me, and then knocked her out. Despite that, he comes on and off to check on her. Although she's been slipping in and out of consciousness," Kin'emon's voice came from somewhere close by, and though you couldn't make out his words, you let out a sigh of relief knowing that he was alright.
"Who would dare hit a woman!?" you heard another unfamiliar voice remark.
"Sanji-kun, Franky, try busting down the door. Chopper and I will tend to her. Hopefully she'll be alright by the time the door's down," the voice of a woman instructed as you saw another figure lean over you.
As the two figures continued to loom over you, the concern in their voices and the urgency of their actions boosted your sense of awareness. With a groan you attempted to push yourself up into a sitting position, and two pair of hands were quick to assist you. The figures that knelt beside you finally came into focus, a woman with orange hair who looked to be around your age, and what looked to be a tiny reindeer-person? Maybe you were still disoriented, you thought to yourself, but then the reindeer spoke, "Careful. You've been out for some time, so you shouldn't make any harsh movements."
"Y/N, I'm glad you're okay. You had me worried," this time Kin'emon spoke, and you slowly turned to get a better look at him. Only his head? If it hadn't felt all too real, you would have thought your mind was playing tricks on you.
"Where am I?" you asked, rubbing your eyes in hopes that it would help.
"We're currently locked up in a cell somewhere on Punk Hazard. But don't worry we're trying to break open the door and get out of here. So till then just rest up," the reindeer spoke once again; by now you were sure you weren't seeing things.
"Who are you guys?" you asked, eyeing the four strangers.
"I'm Nami, and this is Chopper," the orange haired woman spoke with a smile then looked at her comrades who were trying to bust open the metal door of the cell, "That's Sanji and Franky. We're the Straw Hat pirates."
"I'll beat up the guy who did this to you Y/N-san!" The blonde one called out before going back to his task.
Within a few minutes a hole had been made through the door; Franky had shot a beam straight through the metal. "Will you be fine running by yourself?" Nami asked as she offered you a hand to stand up.
"I think I should be." With a new found determination, and your hope and trust in the Straw Hat pirates - adrenaline coursed through your veins. Just maybe, you could save your sister and return home in one piece.
××××
You were being chased after your escape. Sanji had found a door, slammed it open, and all of you had ran in. Now, you were surrounded by giant children - staring at you with the same fear that gripped at your heart. Amidst the chaos, you desperately scanned the room for any sign of Kara, praying that she was safe.
"Hey! Have any of you seen a child named Momonosuke!?" Kin'emon's booming voice echoed through the room, though it was the sight of him that caused the children to scatter in terror. Right then your pursuers came through the door. As you ran ahead, the children followed behind, desperation in their request to be saved.
Your mind raced with questions. Who brought them here? What had they done to these kids? You couldn't dwell on it now, not with the urgent task of finding your sister weighing heavily on your mind.
As you raced alongside one of the children, your breath coming in ragged gasps, you turned to him with a desperate plea. "Have you seen a girl, about this tall?" you asked, your voice trembling as you gestured to indicate Kara's height. "Her name's Kara, she arrived here about a week ago."
"All the new kids only come to the Biscuit Room after two weeks."
Your heart dropped at his response, the thought of what they did to the new arrivals gnawing at you. But you did your best to push aside the wave of fear that threatened to overwhelm you. For now the best option was to find a hideout and come up with a foolproof plan to save your sister.
"How did you kids even get here?" Nami asked as you ran down some stairs, pulling your mind away from the chaos both around and inside you.
"When we were outside playing they told us that we have a disease that could infect our parents. But they said they could cure us, and brought us here."
Rage surged through you as you thought of the despicable people who had preyed on the innocence and vulnerability of these children. Yet, amidst the anger, you were fueled by a fierce resolve to rescue Kara and save her and the rest of the kids from this heinous operation and the people behind it.
As you reached the end of the winding staircase, Chopper pointed to a door at the far end. Finally, you had found an exit. Chopper flung open the door and all of you burst through, greeted by the biting embrace of the winter air.
"Suuperr." Franky's energetic shout was followed by cheers from the children who smiled gleefully, now filled with a sense of hope.
"Ahhh you! I remember you!" Chopper yelled as Nami clung onto him for warmth.
"Law, wasn't it? Did you lock up these children!?" Nami's pointed accusation drew your attention to the man leaning against the large metal door. A chill ran down your spine as you recalled the tall, raven haired man who had knocked you out.
"You!" you spat as you seized him by the collar of his coat, "What have you done to my sister!?" you shook him desperately, but his clear strength didn't do much for your attempts, and he wasn't at all fazed by the fact that you had got out.
"Y/N-san, we need to find another exit and get out of here. You can confront him later," Sanji grabbed you by the arm, and it was only then that you noticed the fleet of what looked to be goons but were actually Marines that stood in front of you. You were not given the chance to protest, being pulled along as the rest of the group made a run for the back exit.
"Turn back! That's the guy who did this to me!" Kin'emon yelled, but his shouts were in vain, the Straw Hat pirates were resolute on their mission to get out of here.
××××
As the cold wind whipped through the cave the group had found solace in, your mind tried to wrap around the grave words that Chopper had spoken. When you met the rest of the Straw Hats, for a brief moment you had a glimmer of hope. They seemed as determined as you to help the children and take down the man behind this scheme - Caesar Clown. The confidence that their captain imbued gave you hope, but now that hope, was almost completely sucked out of you when you heard Chopper's words.
"He's been giving them a stimulant drug that affects their minds and bodies."
You eyed the children who had suddenly broken into a fit of rage due to not receiving their 'Candy'. Now fast asleep, thanks to Usopp's Sleeping Star - they were completely unaware of the torment they had been unknowingly subjected to. The weight of Chopper's words however, continued to hang heavy in the air, prompting a collective sense of outrage and determination. As the Straw Hat crew deliberated their next course of action, you couldn't shake the image of your sister, Kara from your mind. The thought of her enduring the same pain as the other children fueled a fire within you — a burning desire to rescue her from the clutches of Caesar as soon as possible.
Before you could voice your concerns, Luffy and Nami walked through the entrance of the cave, the raven haired pirate from earlier following behind them. A chill ran down your spine at the sight of him, why was he here?
His sharp gaze swept over the group, momentarily focusing on you before his attention was drawn towards the sleeping children. His expression was unreadable as he eyed them, you couldn't tell what his next move was, but you firmly gripped at your katana, ready to strike if he made any suspicious movements.
"Law," Chopper spoke up, his voice grim and filled with as much suspicion as you, "Do you have anything to do with the drugs that Caesar has been feeding these kids?"
Law's lips formed into a thin line, a hint of distress in his eyes, "No, I'm here for something bigger. These kids are just a part of Caesar's experiments, something I found out only recently," he replied, his voice steady and resolute. "Despite this not being a part of our alliance, I'll help you save them. I'll go find out what medicine Caesar's feeding them, so I'll need your crew's doctor to come with me," Law said, directing his attention to Luffy.
"I'm coming too," you interjected without hesitation.
"I understand that you want to help your sister," Law began, his tone cautious and controlled, "but this mission requires precision and focus. Bringing you along would only complicate things and put everyone at risk. It's better if you stay here and look after the kids."
"I have to come. She's my sister, I need to find her."
Law's frown deepened at your insistence to accompany him, his expression a mix of frustration and concern, "No, you will stay here. If you get caught sneaking around, Caesar will know something's not right. I'll look for your sister while I'm there."
As Law's words sank in, you felt a rush of frustration and helplessness settle within you. Despite your lingering doubts about his intentions, you couldn't deny the fact that he was right. Bringing you along could jeopardize the mission and put everyone at risk.
You reluctantly nodded your head in agreement. Trying your best to swallow the lump in your throat, you let out a weak 'fine'. "But promise me you'll find her and bring her back safely."
Law's gaze softened, but there was a hint of hesitance, "I'll do what I can."
You knew his lack of a promise was only to prevent you from further disappointment if he failed on his mission, but it left you feeling all the more uneasy. Nevertheless, you didn't press any further, watching as Law and a few of the Straw Hat crew disappeared into the research facility, leaving you behind with the children.
××××
In the midst of the chaos that had ensued after the group's departure, you now found yourself back in the research facility with Marines, the Straw Hats, Kin'emon and Law. He avoided your gaze like it was the plague, and did his best to keep his distance. But just as the group was about to split up you got a hold of him, your eyes silently questioning. His response was hesitant, "I...I haven't found her yet."
Your heart sank at his words, "I'm coming with you to look for her."
"No," he replied firmly.
"No!? You haven't found her yet! How do I know you'll find her now!?"
"Go with the Straw Hats to rescue the children," he said firmly as his lips tightened into a thin line, "I...I promise I'll find her," he met your gaze this time, his determination unwavering.
"Now go." Law walked away from you, not waiting for a response. You watched as his figure disappeared behind a wall, but you could still hear the echos of his footsteps, his urgency evident. A hand on your shoulder grabbed your attention, and you turned to find Nami, her expression a mix of concern and reassurance. "Come on," she said gently, "we need to save the kids."
Nodding, you turned to follow the Straw Hat pirates, your mind torn between the mission and the hope that Law would keep his word and find your sister.
××××
Law's steps were cautious as he entered the room filled with huge tanks labelled 'S.A.D', his eyes scanning the room for any signs of lurking danger. Instead, he saw a small figure huddled in a corner, bearing a striking resemblance to the woman he had unwisely made a promise to. Overwhelmed by the desperation he had seen in her eyes, he couldn't help but offer her a sense of reassurance.
"Kara?" Law called out, and the figure flinched at his voice, fear evident in her eyes.
"Who are you?" she murmured, her voice shaky as she pushed herself further into the corner.
"It's okay, I'm here to help." Law didn't hesitate to move closer to her, crouching down beside her as he extended his hand for her to take.
"Are you sure about that Law?"
His body tensed as a voice echoed from behind him, but he was quick to assume a protective stance. From the dark corridor emerged Vergo, a man Law hadn't seen in ages, and wished he didn't have to. His teeth gritted as Vergo approached him, and his grip on Kikoku tightened, ready to strike. However, Vergo's movements were swift, striking Law before he could react.
A sharp blow to his gut had Law reeling in pain as he staggered backward. But despite the agony coursing through him and his ragged breathing, Law's attention immediately shifted to the little girl, tears streaming down her cheeks as Vergo's menacing figure loomed over her. As Vergo kicked at her and she let out a whimper, something snapped inside Law. His anger boiled over at the sight of her helpless form, propelling him into action to protect her at all costs.
"Room."
"Shambles."
With Kara safely behind him, Law stood firm, his gaze narrowing on Vergo with a steely resolve. Each movement after that was calculated and precise, determined in his commitment to defend Kara with everything he had.
In the midst of the battle, Law nearly found himself on the brink of defeat. Luckily, Smoker had appeared, joining him in the fight against Vergo. It had taken them some time, but with one swift maneuver Law had managed to incapacitate Vergo, leaving him immobilized on the ground. Seizing the opportunity, Law quickly scooped up Kara in his arms, her shaking figure pressed closed to his chest, as he quickly made his escape from the room, Smoker following behind.
"Don't worry. I'm going to take you to your sister, and everything will be alright," Law whispered in hopes of calming the crying girl.
"My sister?" Kara's voice quivered with uncertainty.
"Yes, she's waiting for you," Law assured her, and he couldn't help but let his heart swell with warmth as he watched the little girl's tear stained cheeks brighten with a wide smile.
××××
You waited at the last remaining exit out of the research facility, your body tense. While you had managed to save the children, and Luffy had defeated Caesar, there was still no sign of Law or your sister. You had argued that you would go look for them but the rest had disagreed, insisting that Law would come soon. But time was starting to run out, and if you didn't get out soon you would all be consumed by the gas that was slowly inching its way to the very room you were in. Just when you thought you couldn't bear to wait any longer, a familiar voice echoed through the room.
"Y/N!"
Your head snapped towards the opposite end of the room to see Law emerging from the corridor with Kara cradled in his arms. Your breath caught in your throat and your eyes brimmed with tears as a wave of relief washed over you.
"Kara!" you cried, rushing forward to envelope her in a hug as Law set her down. Tears streamed down your cheeks as your grip around her tightened, fearing that she would disappear into thin air if you let go.
"Are you alright?" you asked, finally pulling away to get a better look at your sister. Her face was pale, and eyes tired, but she managed a weak smile that pulled at your heartstrings.
"We were attacked by one of Joker's men, so she's slightly injured," Law answered in her stead, and he picked her up in his arms again, "Smoker got there and we were able to fight him off," he continued, nudging his head towards the man behind him.
"Thank you," you whispered, giving a nod of acknowledgement to Smoker before turning to the raven-haired man with a grateful smile. Law gave a brief nod before shifting his focus to the matter at hand - getting out of the building as quickly as you could. Surveying the group that stood by the exit, he turned his attention back to you, "I'll carry Kara to the truck over there, and stay with her until we get out."
Law's words prompted a giggle from Kara, and a smile graced your lips at the sound, as you followed behind the pirate, your inner turmoil subsiding for now.
××××
When things had finally settled down, and you had all successfully escaped, you found yourself by Kara's side as she slept, a mix of anxiety and frustration settling in your chest. Kara had unfortunately been subjected to the drug as well, and now the Marines were to take her along with the other children to their base for treatment. However, they had made it clear that you couldn't accompany her, and now a sense of worry gnawed at you, the prospect of being separated from your sister again became unbearable.
"Everything alright?" Law's voice broke through the silence, joining you away from the small celebration that had started. His figure appeared beside you, and you could see a hint of concern etched his features.
"Law," you began, your voice trembling as you felt a lump form in your throat, "they said I can't come with them." Tears threatened to spill over once more, and Law visibly frowned.
"But I can't just leave her, I don't want to," you confessed, voice heavy with emotion.
Law was silent, his expression now unreadable as he mulled over your words. Then with a look of determination, he met your gaze. "I'll help you."
"What?" you asked as you tried to blink back the tears.
"Y/N-ya," Law began, his voice soft but firm, "I can't assure you that it will be easy. But I want to help. I'll help you find a cure for your sister." His voice felt like a lifeline, and the tears that you had fought to hold back now flowed freely at his words of assurance.
"But that would mean you and Kara would have to join me. It would mean becoming a part of my crew," Law continued, his tone serious as he laid out the implications of his proposition, and a shiver ran down your spine at the thought. Joining his crew meant leaving behind everything you had ever known, and venturing into the unknown, something you had secretly longed for.
"Whatever it takes," you affirmed without hesitation. As long as you had Kara safely by your side, you were willing to risk it all.
"Are you sure about this?" Law asked, his eyes searching yours for any trace of doubt or uncertainty.
"Yes," you replied, voice steady with conviction.
"But how do we get Kara out of here without the Marines noticing?" you inquired, concern lacing your words as you considered the practicality of the situation, it wasn't going to be an easy task.
A sly smirk played on your captain's lips, a plan already formulating in his mind, his confidence lighting a spark of hope within you, "Leave that to me."
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Not going to lie, I read it and kinda didn't like it :') But thank you for reading! And I'll try making a request rules post soon just in case anyone else wants to send something in :)
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