#was going to submit this for rarepair week but opted to keep it confined to my blog

[kmesons]

tumblr user kmesons will ask if anybody's made one of their favourite rarepairs try to kill each other yet and not wait for an answer

(there is context for this) (it is under the cut if you're interested but don't feel obligated to read my excessive rambling)

essentially, this is part of an AU I've come up with regarding these two and their respective lords. if I was able to write efficiently I would definitely write this but I cannot (on account of The Perfectionism) so I will relay a condensed version here.

wiggly is, for petty rivalry reasons, looking to mess with his dear brother pokotho. crucially, he knows that one timeline is set to undergo the apotheosis, as per pokey's wishes. presumably, this isn't the tgwdlm timeline, but we don't know yet whether that is the only timeline where this occurred, so I'll assume not unless this is confirmed as canon. it really doesn't matter to the AU, as its events take place before tgwdlm could occur.

if there's anything pokey despises, it's things not going his way, his perfect spectacle being meddled with. wiggly knows this, and he wants to capitalise on it using the soon-to-be-apotheosised timeline.

thus, wiggly sends his disciple, wiley, to this timeline, with the instructions to kill a certain paul matthews and introduce the singular voice's leading man early. paul doesn't know emma's name yet and the meteor will not be coming for several months, at least. pokey's contagion doesn't exist in any timelines at this point. however, by drawing on a little bit of the black and white's (and specifically pokey's) power, the apotheosis can be incited in a corpse (this isn't canon, just a concept I came up with to supplement the AU). importantly, pokey won't notice the stealing of his power or the addition of infected!paul to his consciousness, since this timeline is already saturated with his interference. the hive mind always embodies pokey's will, and it was always his will to apotheosise this timeline, so, though the stage is not yet set, the hive mind will not hesitate to go through with the overtaking of humanity.

wiley obeys wiggly (there isn't a choice, really) and expects to leave after the apotheosis has been kickstarted. however, with no new orders from wiggly, against his better judgement, he sticks around after infected!paul stirs.

on the lords' side, pokey finds out about wiggly's "gift" fairly quickly, and is predictably furious that his show has been ruined. with no heroic journey for his protagonist and the hive mind's brain leading the apocalypse, there can be no climax, no victorious narrative. hatchetfield is quickly overtaken as pokey and wiggly have an eldritch sibling standoff in the black and white.

eventually, they come to a tense agreement: pokey won't interfere with wiggly's apocalypse as revenge as long as he gets to remold the ruined timeline to his liking.

the events of tgwdlm are enacted by the infected in hatchetfield, "resetting" the narrative (although not infected!paul's memories), and pokey's contagion spreads across the world in the way he was originally planning. wiley finds themself visiting this timeline often, mostly to see paul. the two cause chaos together and just generally make each other worse (affectionate).

after the hive mind has succeeded, tensions once more rise between wiggly and pokey. this timeline, in wiggly's eyes, has no uses, as not only is it "imperfect", but the apocalypse has taken place and pokey has gotten what he wanted. pokey wants to hold onto it just to spite wiggly. important to this part of the plot is the idea that there are limited timelines, and an adjacent (and likely canon-divergent) idea that new ones can be created only as long as the limit has not been reached. in this case, the maximum number of timelines exist, which means that one must be destroyed (again, all of this likely does not make sense in canon, which is why I'm calling it an AU) in order for the lords (wiggly) to have a new one to play with.

in order to convince pokey to get rid of the timeline, wiggly reasons that he must ruin this one. permanently. and what better way to do so than to kill the hive mind's brain, pokey's prophet?

only the black blade can eliminate those imbued with the lords' power (I am. making this up. this is not canon), and so, once again, wiley kneels before wiggly, and once again, wiggly's directions are clear: kill paul matthews. or rather, this time, kill what used to be paul matthews. and if anything—some inane attachment, perhaps—gets in the way, wiggly will finish the job for him.

wiley obliges, entering the apotheosised timeline for the last time, by which point pokey has learned of his brother's plot. cue Epic Battle between wiggly's forces (the sniggles? I suppose? I'm not entirely certain) and the hive mind as wiley makes his way towards the starlight theatre, where he knows paul will be waiting.

this is the part where they try to kill each other

as much as infected!paul is undead and the prophet of a deity, his true strength is in the hive. he does not win this fight. wiley doesn't really win either, but paul's the one who dies.

if you read all of that (or just scrolled past it, which is fine too), then congratulations (I am so sorry)! here's an alternate version as compensation