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octaviasdread · 3 years ago

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any girls! dark academia movie recs? i really struggle to find anything not about a group of boys (as much as I love them)

SO MANY!!! This is probably a far more detailed answer than you were expecting but this is a popular question and I want to keep a list for myself and others.

Feel free to add to it/give opinions. I've tried to give a tw for anything I can remember

Girls! Dark Academia Movies/TV Shows

Mona Lisa Smile (2003)

1950s Women’s college

Art professor! Julia Roberts

She’s legit the female Mr Keating of the art & college world

Feminism vs. Tradition

Maggie Gyllenhall x Ginnifer Goodwin; their characters were more than friends. Fight me.

Does not end how you expect

Strike!/All I Wanna Do/The Hairy Bird (1998)

MY FAVOURITE!!!

Free on YouTube under one of its various names

Comedy

1960s all girls boarding school

Young Kirsten Dunst

Group of girls plot to sabotage a merger with a boys school less prestigious than their own

Secret attic clubhouse meetings of the D.A.R aka Daughters of the American Ravioli (eaten cold, ew)

girls get political & advocate for their rights using ANY elaborate and chaotic scheme

TW: eating disorder, vomiting & creepy male teacher but the girls plot against him too

The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (1969)

based on a short book I read for uni by Muriel Spark

1930s girls school in Edinburgh

Scottish teacher! Maggie Smith, controversial with a focus on romantic ideals

Spoiler alert, the liberal teacher is actually a fascist

Her group of fave students has cult- vibes and it’s fascinating

Picnic at Hanging Rock

1970s movie or 2018 mini series

Never watched either but I plan to

Wild Child (2008)

00s romcom every UK teen girl loves

Emma Roberts as the spoiled rich American teenager sent to a strict English boarding school

Plots to get herself expelled but oh no she’s making friends with the girls who help her

And the headmistress has a hot son, and he’s nice??? Double oh no

ICONIC SCENES

Everything! Goes! Wrong!

omg she burns the school down

Feel good, comfort, nostalgia

St Trinians (2007)

English girls boarding school

The kids are all criminals, no joke

So are the teachers

CHAOTIC

gay awakening for british girls

Art heist pulled off by school girls

Government tries to shut them down but oh no, the education minister & the headmistress are ex-lovers

Colin Firth x Rupert Everett in drag

Superior cast: Jodie Whittaker, Gemma Arterton, Juno Temple, Stephen Fry, Colin Firth, etc...

embodies the phrase 'problematic fave'

St Trinians 2: The Legend of Fritton’s Gold (2009)

Mystery, pirate ancestors, hidden treasure

omg Shakespeare was a woman

girls disguised as boys to infiltrate and rob the posh boys school

Villain! David Tennant in that ICONIC boat scene

Teen girls vs. ancient misogynist brotherhood

like the first film but MORE chaotic and BETTER!???

The Falling (2014)

1960s all girls school

best friends! but its unrequited love

Agoraphobic + distant mother aka mommy issues

Sudden death and the school suppresses/ignores the students grief, sparking mass hysteria & a fainting epidemic in the girls

Cast: Maisie Williams (GoT) & Florence Pugh (Little Women) & Joe Cole (Peaky Blinders)

TW: teen pregnancy, death, vomiting, underage s*x, sibling inc*st, past s*xual assault

READ THE PLOT SUMMARY FIRST

The Book Thief (2013)

Based on an amazing book by Markus Zusak

set in 1940s Nazi Germany

Daughter of a communist whose family were taken by the Nazis/died is fostered by an older couple who teach her to read & she paints a dictionary on the basement walls

Coming of age story about a compulsive book thief. No joke, this kid steals books from banned book burnings and breaks into the mayor's library through the window

Family hides the Jewish son of an old friend in their basement and he helps her to start writing about her experiences in the war

TW: death, bombings, WW2 anti-semitism

Mary Shelley (2017)

Overall good & roughly biographical

Pretty costumes and aesthetic

Modern feminist take on Mary Shelly in her own time period

So many INACCURACIES for the drama so don’t take it as truth

Percy Shelley slander and not all of it is justified

Cast: Elle Fanning, Douglas Booth, and Maisie Williams

The Secret Garden (1993)

Based on a fave childhood book

1901 colonial India & Yorkshire, England

Orphaned, spoilt & neglected girl sent to live with her reclusive Uncle in the English countryside

Gothic elements, mysteries, secret doors/passages/locked gardens

local boy with a flock of animals, magic, kids chanting around a fire and all around immaculate vibes

Happy ending!!!

Hidden Figures (2016)

African-American women as mathematicians for NASA

1960s space project

Women balancing a career and family obligations

Deals with racial & gender discrimination

Loosely based on the lives of Katherine Johnson, Mary Jackson, and Dorothy Vaughan who worked for NASA as engineers & mathematicians

Anne of Green Gables (1985) & sequel (1987)

Adaptation L.M. Montgomery’s ‘Anne of Green Gables’ books

Canada (late 1890s/early 1900s)

Highly imaginative & bookworm orphan is adopted by a reclusive elderly brother and sister duo

Small town & school years comedic drama

Unrequited Enemies -> Friends -> lovers

Inspiring new woman teacher

Girls re-enact Tennyson’s poem and nearly drown for the aesthetic™

Dramatic poetry reading with INTENSE 👀eye contact👀

Writer! Anne & English teacher! Anne dealing with unruly girls school antics

Collette (2018)

biographical drama on french writer Sidonie-Gabrielle Collette

Victorian & Edwardian era France

More talented than her husband so she ghostwrites for him

Fight for creative ownership of her wildly successful novels

Affairs with a woman called Georgie and also with Missy, born female but masculine presenting

Cast: Keira Knightly, Dominic West, Eleanor Tomlinson (Poldark)

Enola Holmes (2020)

Netflix book adaptation

Younger sister of Sherlock Holmes

Victorian era! feminism/suffragettes

Mother-daughter focus

Mystery, adventure, secret codes, teens running away & escaping from (and eventually fighting) assassins

Cast: Helena Bonham Carter, Henry Cavill, Sam Claflin, Fiona Shaw, Millie Bobby Brown

Ginger & Rosa (2012)

1960s England

best friends since literal birth navigating troubled teen years

poet & anti-nuclear activist! Ginger

off the rails but also catholic! Rosa

Shout out to Mark & Mark the gay godfathers we all want

family troubles

TW: older man has an affair with a 17 yr old

Testament of Youth (2014)

based on WW1 memoir by Vera Brittain

young woman (writer & poetry lover) escapes traditional family & goes to study at Oxford University

abandons to become a war nurse

romance, tragedy and war trauma

Cast: Alicia Vikander, Kit Harrington (GoT), Taron Edgerton (Rocketman), Colin Morgan (Merlin)

Little Women (2019)

Writer! Jo & Artist! Amy

Mother/daughter focus and sister dynamics

the March sisters’ theatre club is *chefs kiss*

champagne problems edits of Jo x Laurie are a mood

Ambivalent ending perfectly captures Louisa May Alcott’s dilemma with the book the movie is based on

set in 1860s America

ALL STAR CAST and a Greta Gerwig masterpeice

Lady Bird (2017)

coming of age in early 2002/2003 Sacramento, California

all girls catholic school

writer! Christine aka Lady Bird wants to get outta town and start her life again at college 'in a city with culture'

Mother/daughter dynamics - so realistic!

I live for that Jesus car stunt & the nun's reaction

school theatre program

Cast: Saoirse Ronan, Timothee Chalamet, Beanie Feldstein

Another Greta Gerwig gem

Beguiled (2017)

Virginia, civil war era

Girls school with only five students and two teachers left

Find an injured Union army soldier & bring him inside

Women & teenagers want his attention (v. problematic) before uniting against him

(tbh you'll either love it, hate it, or watch once & forget it)

Sofia Coppola film so its very feminine gaze

TW: violence, death, underage

Legally Blonde (2001)

No questions will be taken

Elle Woods was the blue print

TV series:

House of Anubis (2011-2013)

I know it’s a kids/young teen show but I still unironically love it

ANCIENT EGYPT!!!!

Modern day with Victorian era links to treasure hunters & Egyptian research expeditions (stealing from tombs)

Chosen one plot lines, curses, kidnapping, mysteries, secret tunnels under the school, elixir of life

Teens have investigate & protect themselves cus oh no the TEACHERS are involved in some shady stuff

new American kid at British boarding school is the actual premise not just a fanfic au

Nostalgic, light-hearted, funny, and kinda cheesy but I will accept no criticism

The Alienist (2018 -now)

Mid 1890s, New York

Woman’s private detective agency (Season 2)

Serial killer mystery

Woman secretary turns detective and teams up with a criminal psychiatrist and a newspaper editor to solve crime

TW: violence, child pr*stit*tion

Cast: Dakota Fanning, Luke Evans, Daniel Bruhl

The Queen’s Gambit (2020)

Woman chess prodigy

1950s & 1960s

TW: drug & alcohol abuse

Gentleman Jack (2019 - now)

Based on the diaries of Anne Lister

Victorian Yorkshire, England

Upper-class lesbians

Confident, suit wearing! Anne Lister x shy! Ann Walker

Business woman! Anne running the family mines

Cast: Suranne Jones (Doctor Foster) & Sophie Rundle (Peaky Blinders)

TW: violence

Gilmore Girls (2000-2007)

bubbly/ambitious single mom + intelligent daughter

bookworm! Rory Gilmore gets into a prestigious private school and then an Ivy League college

Small town drama is comedic gold

Fast dialogue packed with pop culture and literary references

Comforting & nostalgic

TEAM JESS

Anne with an E (2017-2019)

Loose adaptation of L.M. Montgomery’s ‘Anne of Green Gables’ books

they completely change the plot lines but it’s still very good content!

Orphan girl with trauma and a love of books/poetry is adopted by an elderly brother & sister duo, bringing light and fresh ideas to a rural community

Feminism, girls writing club, lgbtq safe spaces, girls eduction, black/indigenous representation

Miss Stacy as THAT inspiring teacher

Aunt Josephine’s lavish gay parties have my heart

TW: creepy male teacher tries to marry a student, racial discrimination, indigenous assimilation school

Victoria (2016-2019)

Adaption of Queen Victoria’s life

Victoria navigating her political, royal, and personal life

Albert’s involvement with The Great Exhibition, 1851 (on cultural + industrial innovations)

Alfred Paget x Edward Drummond is exquisite

Gorgeous costumes and aesthetics

TW: bury your gays trope

Derry Girls (2018-now)

1990s Northern Ireland during the troubles

Comedy, episodes 20-25 mins long

English boy sent to an all girls Catholic school with his cousin

✨Dead Poets Society parody episode ✨with a free-spirited female teacher

Sister Michael, the sarcastic nun who hates her job & reads the exorcist for giggles

Wee anxious lesbian! Clare Devlin (plus her friends wearing rainbow pins)

Badass with bad ideas! Michelle Mallon

Main Character! Erin Quinn

Lovable weirdo who would fight a polar bear! Orla McCool

Wee English fella & honorary Derry girl! James Maguire

Dickinson (2019-now)

Loose adaption of the poet Emily Dickinson’s life

Set in 19th century Massachusetts, US

Historical drama with modern dialogue & music that works SEAMLESSLY

gives a great understanding of Emily Dickinson’s poems

💕Vintage gays! Emily x Sue💕

Theatre club, writing, poetry, dressing as men to sneak into lectures, love letters, teen drama, feminism, and an underground abolitionist journal as a brief side plot in season 2

Wiz Khalifa plays death in a horse drawn carriage

TW: opium use

A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017-2019)

Based on great childhood books

Bookworm! brother, Inventor! sister, and baby sister with sharp teeth

Mystery, secret organisations, orphaned siblings figuring things out & fending for themselves against the villain after their fortune

Adults either cartoon evil, comedically incompetent, or SPIES

Boarding school, library owner, scientific researcher, and theatre episodes

Ambiguous time period which is really fun to try and pin point

Killing Eve (2018-now)

Classic detective who has homoerotic tension with the assassin she is tracking down

British Detective! Eve Polastri figures out the notorious assassin MI5 are investigating is a woman, is fired & then put on a secret MI6 case with a small team

Assassin! Villanelle, a psychopath with a tragic past and a mastery of both accents & fashion

Woman MI6 boss! Carolyn Martens, head of Russian section

Travel Europe following Villanelle’s killings and escaping the assassins sent by Villanelle’s organisation

‘You’re supposed to be my enemy and moral opposite but omg you’re the only one smart enough to get me and why am I obsessed with you????'

🚨 GO IN FOR A KISS AND THEN STAB YOUR ENEMY 🚨

Cable Girls/Las chicas del cable (2017-2020)

Spanish drama set in 1920s Madrid

Four young women at a telecommunications company form a group of friends and help navigate the difficult situations they are all in

Secret identities, dangerous pasts, murder, crime, lgbtq couple & throuple, trans man character, feminism/suffragists

girls commit crimes for humanitarian reasons and cover! it! up!

UNDERRATED SHOW!!!!

Gorgeous costumes and set

Haven’t finished it yet and I’m catching up

TW: abuse, violence, death

Outlander (2014 - now)

haven’t watched yet but plan to

Woman time travels to Scotland, 1743

Rebel highlanders, pirates, British colonies, American revolutionary war

Time jumps between 18th & 20th century

#CO posts #answered asks #asks #dark academia girls #dark academia recommendations #dark academia recs #dark academia women #dark academia movies #dark academia tv

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kjnwoos · 3 years ago

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hi hello! my name is daisy (she/her, 21+, cst) and i’m so excited to be here!! let me introduce you to my boy kwon jinwoo, a 23 year old chef from seoul running away from a career-ending family scandal. under the cut is (probably too much) info on my guy along with some possible connection ideas. give this post a ❤️ if you’d like to plot or feel free to msg me here or on discord @ daisydaisy#5293 . just as a general heads up, i sometimes forget when i need to respond to ppl so please never worry about double messaging/giving our messages a bump if i haven’t replied. i can’t wait to write with you all! 🤠

before we dive into all of that, i do want to say that jinwoo’s backstory/information has a lot to do with chef stuff and also shady business stuff. aka things i do not know a whole lot about. so if any of my information/terms are wrong, sorry in advance!

GENERAL:

birthday: july 17, 1998

cancer sun, taurus moon, capricorn rising

born in seoul, sk

family: kwon wooseok (dad), shin minhee (mom), kwon jinyoung (younger brother, age 14)

traits: (pos) thoughtful, courteous, nurturing, open-minded, passionate, (neutral) emotional, reserved, introspective, observant, (neg) standoff-ish, reclusive, insecure, temperamental, judgmental, lavish

career: former executive chef at “simmer”, an upscale modern fusion restaurant in seoul

ABOUT:

traveled a lot as a kid because his parents own “intaste”, a french style gourmet restaurant that started with one location in seoul but now has hundreds across the globe

mom, minhee, was the creative brains behind it all and was the og chef de cuisine at intaste. she then turned it into a business that raked in the money and allowed jinwoo to grow up without wanting a single thing

dad, wooseok, joined intaste as patissier and eventually became cfo of the corporation. he was the money brains behind it all

jinwoo grew up in kitchens and loved every second of it

his family all got along well together, his parents were strict but nothing out of the ordinary. his only wish was to be able to see his parents more often instead of growing up with a nanny

went to the best schools, got decent enough grades, didn’t care much about grades tho as he knew he wanted to be a chef

his little brother jinyoung came around when he was 9 and he couldn’t have loved it anymore

jinwoo is, in general, a pretty loyal dude for everyone but do NOT mess with jinyoung. that is one line he will not allow anyone to cross

after graduating high school, jinwoo went straight on to being a sous chef at the intaste in seoul, not bothering with culinary school or university

worked his way up to chef de cuisine after 4 years, then (much to his parents disapproval) decided to leave and start something new

jinwoo started at simmer, a new modern fusion restaurant that an old buddy from intaste had opened

in general, the public thought jinwoo was a good chef (he had appeared on some talk shows to promote things and had been in the tabloids since he was young due to the high profile clientele his parents rubbed elbows with)

in general, the food world thought he was over-rated and a nepotism baby

a few months after simmer opened, news broke that jinwoo’s dad had been making really shady deals with politicians and had a bunch of off-shore bank accounts with embezzled funds

jinwoo’s mom called him and told him to take out as much cash as he could and hide it away because he may lose all of his inheritance if he didnt (idk if this could actually happen in real life so uhhh) and to go to a place out of the way to let it all die down

and that’s how he ended up with a moving truck at maehwa, a frown on his face, and a trunk under lock and key stored in the back of his closet

FUN STUFF:

guy is a chain smoker, tbh. likes to open the window in his room, look out at the property and lose track of time by smoking

you can always find him in the kitchen late at night because the man does not know how to go to bed

(headcanon that jinwoo gets stressed so he cooks and leaves trays of food in the fridge and plates of sweets on the counter that magically pop up in the middle of the night for everyone to enjoy. he gets flustered if someone tries to thank him for them)

his brother encouraged him to journal so he has a bunch of well loved, falling apart journals to write in when he gets frustrated

he likes to stay on his own and doesn’t really open up/talk to people so he has an image of being cold but really, he’s just shy

super emotional guy who will have emotional outbursts and esp gets loud when he’s cooking and something goes wrong

pansexual but doesn’t really date or have partners. he doesn’t allow himself to make the time to be romantically involved with anyone (that obvi can and will change when he meets the right people)

doesn’t really wear leisure wear, he normally is in at the least a sweatshirt with jeans

CONNECTIONS:

someone in the house who he can be his one (1) close friend

someone in the house who can not stand him

someone who knew him outside the house (maybe they ran in the same circles in seoul)

someone who found the trunk in his closet and won’t leave him alone until they find out whats inside

someone who knows all about the embezzlement/possibly was affected by it personally

a cooking buddy / someone to stand in the kitchen and cut carrots and peel potatoes with jinwoo, both in silence

someone who wants to learn how to cook

any and all romantic tropes can be applied here, i am up for almost anything

someone who really tries to get jinwoo out of his comfort zone and fails constantly, but not without annoying jinwoo to high heaven first

a chill buddy, someone to sit outside and drink a beer with late at night

#awhqsintro #posting this and then heading straight to bed!#i am but a slave to capitalism who has to wake up and go to work in the am #but i'll be around on mobile / possibly on my computer tomorrow to get started on plotting things out!!!#genuinely so excited to be writing for my boy

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pandalandalopalis · 4 years ago

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Devil May Cry Wolf - Matt Murdock x Mutant Reader [Chapter Four]

Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Story Synopsis: The first time you jumped, it was 2014 and you were nine years old. You were in the back of your parents’ car — then you were in New York, standing on the street … and it was 1992.

The second time you jumped, it was 1998 and you were fifteen years old. You were heading back home to Saint Agnes after school had ended — and then you were knee-deep in snow, in Russia, in 1970. Outside a Red Room facility.

The third time you jumped, you were twenty-five and had spent ten years training as a Red Room agent. Ten years training your body to use your mutation. Jumping in space was easy — jumping in time was not. But you did it. After ten years, you did it. Now you have to live with the trauma.

Five years later, killing is still the only thing you know how to do, and the only thing you do best. In 2016, a vigilante named Daredevil stops you from killing a man who attacked you. He tells you that you can do better. You think maybe he’s right. But in 2017, Matt Murdock is in the darkest place in his life. When you show up to save him, he’s not exactly grateful. And when he finds out that you’re the best friend he grew up with in Saint Agnes that disappeared almost 20 years ago — things get even more complicated.

You’ll have to drag Matt out of the dark while being jaw-deep in it yourself. And you’ll have to try your best to do better — when Matt is trying his best to do worse.

Chapter Synopsis: You and Matt deal with some kidnappers. Matt asks you why you never contacted him after you escaped the Red Room.

[Read it on AO3]

Part 1 - Chapter Four: This Doesn't Mean I Care

A/N: I swear in the show it’s like six months that Matt is “dead” before Foggy and Karen find out that he’s not but APPARENTLY MAYBE NOT? I don’t know but I already said in this story that it’s six months so in order to keep with that time line we’re gonna do some skips that may not have been in the original show. Oh well, shows do time skips all the time without explanation and it really doesn’t matter all that much tbh. It just annoys me personally LOL especially when some things are not gonna make sense now but shhhhhhhhhhhh don’t think about it too hard and it’ll be fine.

“Maybe . . . it’s time for you to stop.”

“Oh. . . . No, Father, uh. . . . My delusion was thinking God had anything to do with it. I’m not as capable as I was, but . . . I don’t get to choose who I am. I’m Daredevil. Not even God can stop that now.”

He meant it.

But as Matt descended the stairs to follow through on his promise, he found that God had other plans for him.

“Helloooooooooooooooo~” you called through the church basement, glass of some alcoholic drink in your hand. Something with vodka. You downed it, looking around. Impatiently. “Why did I leave the bar for this? Y’know a really hot girl bought me this drink! But noooooooooo I had to come here to check on my friend, Matt!”

You said it like it was a chore, but really it was a bout of anxiety that had hit you hard and unexpectedly. It had been some time since you talked to him last, and a large part of you was purposely avoiding him. But then, as you were chatting with some gorgeous brunette with legs for days, a smaller part of you began biting at you. Worried about Matt. Worried if he was okay.

It was really fucking annoying but you couldn’t get it to shut the fuck up. So you came here.

“It’s been two months, you know.”

You whipped around to find Matt, his arms crossed, eyes narrowed. You grinned at him.

“Good! Maybe I’ll go for the record.”

“Are you drunk?”

You set your empty glass down on the ground, keeping your smile. “Every day of my fucking life but I could still kick your ass.” You weren’t really drunk, not in the typical human sense, anyway. But you had been drinking, and it put you in a good mood to shut up that little voice that had been nagging at you.

“You know I don’t need you to check up on me like this.”

You crossed your arms and leaned your chin into the palm of one of your hands. “Oh, yes, what you pulled was a totally normal thing to do.”

Matt uncrossed his arms. His hands tightened into fists. “That’s not going to happen again.”

“Oh, I’m sure.”

He sighed and walked across the room, picking up blacked-out shades and a coat. “Look, do you need something from me? Because I’m busy.”

“Busy doing what?”

He slid the heavy coat on. “I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

You strode over to him, placing your hand on his chest. On the black fabric hugging his torso. You hooked your fingers into the collar. “If you’re wearing this, then it is.”

He grabbed your hand roughly, pulling it away from his body. “I don’t need your permission to do what I do.” Matt walked away and grabbed a baseball cap from the corner, putting it on.

“No, but I’m sure you could use the help,” you said with your hands on your hips. You gave him a grin. “C’mon. Two is better than one.”

He slid the shades on. “You’re drunk.”

“And I said I could still kick your ass.”

Matt strode past you again, grabbing his white cane. “Go home, Y/N,” he said as he began climbing the stairs.

The smile stayed on your face as you followed him up.

Matt gave up on trying to send you home as the two of you walked down the street — you with a skip in your step and Matt looking like a homeless person.

You finally arrived at a laundromat. “Stay outside,” he told you. “I have to check something.”

You leaned back against the glass wall of the building, then looked over your shoulder and turned to look once he was inside. You couldn’t hear what was going on, but the laundromat clerk was talking to Matt, who was doing his best innocent blind man impression.

You laughed silently to yourself. The shit you could get away with when you played into people’s preconceptions of you. You couldn’t even count how many times you had turned simply being a woman into an advantage that way.

The laundromat clerk met your eyes. You waved and blew him a kiss.

“I-I got seeing friends,” Matt said with a smile when the clerk almost refused to give him a flyer, saying something about not having any in Braille.

“That your friend out there?” he asked. “The gorgeous chick in the bright red cocktail dress?”

For fuck’s sake. “Uh, yeah,” Matt said. He knew that she was wearing some kind of dress, but he didn’t say anything to her about it. If she wanted to come along and fight in a dress that barely passed the top of her thighs then she could do it. She already did whatever she wanted, anyway.

He just didn’t know why she kept coming back. Why she would disappear for long periods of time and then just show up whenever it was convenient for her.

He guessed that she felt she had some kind of responsibility to the friendship they used to have. He didn’t know why she bothered. She had said it herself, they weren’t the same people they used to be.

He was annoyed with her. But what made him angrier was the relief he felt. His best friend. Alive. After all this time.

There was a part of him that liked having her around. And he didn’t like that he liked having her around.

“God, she’s beautiful,” the clerk said.

Matt adjusted his shades, trying to stay cheery and polite despite the annoyance creeping back in. “Well I-I wouldn’t know.”

The clerk handed Matt the flyer, and Matt made sure to feel the man’s hand as he took it. One finger short. This was the guy he was looking for. “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

Matt came back outside.

“That was adorable,” you said with a grin. He ignored you and kept walking, turning into the alleyway next to the laundromat. You followed him. “Are you going to tell me now what we’re doing?”

Matt continued his silence, shucking off his coat once the two of you were in a dark enough place in the alley, where nobody would see you from the street. He took off his hat and shades and gently placed them on top of the coat, along with his white cane, now resting in a heap on the ground. He paused as he pulled a black scarf from one of the pockets.

“If you’re gonna come, you need to cover your face with something.”

You grinned at him and disappeared, reappearing a few minutes later. “How’s this?” you asked, tossing him it.

He caught the mask in his hands, feeling over the front of it. “What is it?”

“A wolf,” you answered, taking it back from him. The mask was mostly flat with some defining details like a slight nose and ears; it would cover your entire face with a big, wolf smile illustrated with sharp teeth.

“Frank Castle called you that,” Matt commented as he began to tie the scarf around his head and over his eyes. “Wolf.”

“Maybe I’ll be the Wolf of Hell’s Kitchen,” you said, trying to draw attention away from anything that Frank Castle has said about you. Didn’t go so well the last time. “Wouldn’t that be fun.”

He finished tying the scarf, his hands dropping from the back of his head. “We’re not making this a permanent thing—” Matt’s head titled. “Did you change?”

He meant your outfit. “Didn’t think a cocktail dress would be very practical for whatever it is we’re doing.” You had changed into something you could fight in; and the black was more inconspicuous than the bright red you were wearing earlier.

It was kind of amusing. He told you to get something to cover your face but he didn’t mention your outfit, and you knew that he knew what you were wearing.

“What’s wrong, couldn’t kick my ass in that dress?” Matt quipped.

You touched your pointer finger to his chest. “I could kick your ass naked. In heels.”

His mouth twitched, the shadow of amusement on his face. You lowered your hand and let yourself give Matt a generous once-over.

“I like the suit,” you said, slowly. Languidly. “You look good.”

Matt’s mouth twitched again, this time in an emotion you couldn’t identify. He turned. “Let’s go.” But as soon as you started walking he stopped you. “No killing.”

Hot anger flared in you suddenly before you tempered it, not letting the emotion cross your face.

It’s like he had already forgotten that day in the alleyway, when you’d told him you’d go along with his no-killing rule. When he told you he was trying to save your soul.

I don’t have to know you. I just have to try to save you.

What a load of fucking bullshit.

You were just a monster to him now. An irredeemable monster whose soul had been lost a long time ago.

You didn’t even really understand the point of going along with it anymore. Pretending like not killing people now would somehow wash the rivers of blood falling from your hands.

You hated him for making you feel this way. For making you feel guilty for what you were.

Monster.

Matt could go fuck himself.

Her heart rate ticked up. Her skin warmed slightly.

She was angry with him.

“Alright, if you insist,” she said, high and light, as if nothing was wrong. “I’ll play nice.”

Matt caught her arm as she started forward. “What.”

“What?” she asked.

“You’re angry.”

“Now what would make you think that?” she asked daintily. Careful words. A question and not a lie.

“I can read your body and you know that,” he said. “Now what is it.” If this was going to affect dealing with the kidnappers, he needed to know so he could take care of it.

“You know my body could tell you a whole bunch of fun things,” she said, the tone of her voice lowering as she leaned into his space and laid her hand on his chest. Again, not a lie. She leaned back and dropped her hand, her voice returning to normal. “Relax. I can deal with my own emotions. I’ll keep my shit to myself and follow your lead like a good little soldier. Now can we go?”

Matt licked his lips but said nothing. He walked forward and opened a door on the side of the laundromat. You put the mask on, then followed him through.

A staircase stretched down before you. Your body, itching for a fight, for any kind of action, took the stairs step by step behind him.

You could hear the steamers. Hear the sounds of other people down there as you and Matt strode across the floor, through the wings of hanging laundry.

You were impressed. By Matt’s confidence. He walked around the room like he was meant to be there, without even ducking his head or trying to hide. The room wasn’t dark — there were some dark spots but it was mostly awash in bright fluorescent light. And there were other people just walking around. Yet Matt walked as if he was invisible, as if he blended in with everything around him.

You were rarely impressed. Even the fact that you were impressed made you impressed.

You walked behind him with that same sort of ease, not bothering to make yourself small or hidden. You kept your breathing steady, your footsteps light, like you had been taught. Neither of you made a sound.

Matt’s head titled as he walked. Listening. Talking in your surroundings. Dimly, you could hear the crackle of a radio. You couldn’t make out the voices or words. You wondered if Matt could.

You turned the corner. At the end of the hall were cages. Some had pillows and blankets in them, and some had chairs.

What an interesting thing for a laundromat to keep in their fucking basement.

Matt turned to your left, opening a briefcase on the shelf. You peaked over his shoulder. Looked like a gun.

You know, you were starting to think that this wasn’t a legitimate laundromat facility. Really can’t trust anyone these days.

(You lamented the fact that Matt wasn’t hearing your clever inner complementary. Such a shame.)

Clattering. Matt’s head snapped to the side at the noise, and he shut the briefcase. With the same surety as before, Matt crossed through the rows of laundry and found his way to the fuse box.

He opened the lid, then paused. Turned his head toward you. Tilted it. A question.

You shrugged, then said, quiet enough that only he could hear, “I can swing it.”

His mouth twitched and he flipped all the switches to the other side, plunging the basement into darkness.

Fighting in the dark wasn’t your strongest skill, but fortunately some of the street light leaking in from the windows kept it from being pitch black. Your eyes quickly adjusted, and you waited for Matt to make the first move.

With that surety, Matt strode forward to the man in the dark. The man exclaimed, “You!” and there was a spark of light as you realized Matt had forced the man’s taser back on himself.

Steps behind you. You disappeared as the second man lunged, reappearing on the other side of the first man. Matt and the second man were grappling with each other now, both of them getting some hits in.

The first man finally stood from where he had collapsed. He started for Matt— but you grabbed his shirt collar and yanked him backwards, kicking his back in the process.

He fell to his knees then whipped his hand holding the taser behind him in an arc. You disappeared and reappeared in front of him, kneeing his nose and enjoying the crunch and cry of pain that resulted.

“What the fuck,” you heard the first man hiss, and you grinned under your mask.

You spared Matt a glance in his direction. The second man slammed him into the shelves, getting some hits onto his head and into his chest. Matt was quick to take back control, pulling the man forward to slam his head into the shelf, then headbutting him with enough force to send him spiraling across the narrow hallway.

A strangled sound came from Matt’s throat. He pressed his hand to his head, and, for just a moment, a foreign and unfamiliar feeling of . . . panic spiked at you. Matt ducked as soon as the second man swung at him again, and you started forward to help him when you felt arms wrap around your legs.

You got distracted. You never got distracted.

You felt yourself falling as the first man buckled your knees, but you disappeared out of his grasp, concentrating enough to right yourself on your feet as you reappeared behind him.

Why did that distract you. You knew that Matt could take care of himself.

He was hurt.

The first man whipped around and got on his feet. His hand reached behind a shelf, pulling out a baseball bat. You ran at him, keeping that momentum as you disappeared and reappeared above him to sit on his shoulders, legs around his neck.

What does it matter if he was hurt.

With the momentum you created you twisted down, buckling his knees and letting him absorb your impact as you landed on top of him. You squeezed your thighs around his neck. He thrashed and you grabbed the hand that held the baseball bat, holding his arm to your chest to keep him from hitting you.

Apparently it mattered enough to be distracting.

His other hand grappled for you. In one swift motion, you pulled the knife from the sheath on your thigh and stabbed it through his hand, jamming it between the metal of the shelving next to you to trap it there. He would have screamed if you didn’t have your thighs wrapped around his neck — the sound instead came out guttural and choked.

Well, just don’t let that happen again.

You’re the one who saved his life. Maybe it’s you who has the problem.

You kept your thighs pressed together until the arm you had pinned against your body went limp, and the man relaxed beneath you. You climbed off of him, grabbing the baseball bat for good measure.

Ohhh, I am not opening that door.

You twisted the baseball bat around your hand as you watched Matt land more than a few punches to the second man, finally knocking him unconscious.

You walked forward to stand next to him. The words were out of your mouth before you could stop them. “You good?”

Chest heaving, his head turned in your direction. He paused, then nodded.

Matt reached for some zip-ties on the shelf above him. He handed you one and you used it to tie the first man’s hand to the shelving unit. Fortunately that meant that you got your knife back. You wiped the blood off onto your sleeve and slipped it back into its sheath.

There was a phone in the room that Matt picked up. He held the receiver to his ear, his finger pressing three numbers. 911. He waited a moment, the sound of his heavy breathing the only thing you could hear in that quiet room. Then Matt said, “Yeah, I’d like to report an assault. I didn’t see what happened, but there are a lot of guns here.”

You chuckled silently to yourself. Technically not a lie.

“Maybe some kind of robbery,” he finished, then hung up. “Let’s go,” he said to you.

“That was fun,” you replied as you followed him toward the exit, glad to be able to speak aloud again. “We make a good team.”

“That’s not happening again.” Matt said the words even though he didn’t really believe himself.

He had someone to lean on. There was that ringing in his head again when that man hit him one too many times — he knew he could have taken both those men on, but it was easier knowing that she had his back.

No.

It couldn’t be easier. He couldn’t have someone to lean on.

Every time he’d had someone to lean on, they’d all ended up dead.

Stick.

. . .Elektra.

Twice.

He didn’t want someone to work with again. He didn’t want. . . . He didn’t want to have to do that again. He just wanted to be by himself. Alone. Alone was better. Alone was safer.

And yet he couldn’t find a way to tell her to go.

When they were back outside, Matt pulled the mask from his face and stuck it back into the coat pocket, putting it and his shades and his hat back on.

“So,” Y/N started. He had sensed her absence for a moment while he was gathering his things, and she had returned in clothes different from before and without the mask. “Want to go back to Clinton Church and drink? I’ll bring the alcohol.”

“There’s something else I have to do,” he said.

“More stuff?” He could hear the excitement in her voice.

Matt answered, “Not like that. I have to visit someone in the hospital. One of their victims.” He gestured to the laundromat. “Tell her to make a report to the police.”

She was quiet. Considering. Then she shrugged. “Sure, I’ll come.”

“Why?”

“Boredom.”

If you don’t care, then why did you save my life?

. . .I don’t know. I was bored. Thought it might be fun.

Hm.

Matt began walking. “Do whatever you want.”

He could sense her grinning as she caught up and matched his stride to walk beside him.

You stood outside the curtain of the hospital ‘room’, listening silently as Matt (as Daredevil) spoke to the woman inside.

“Thank God for you,” you heard her say.

A pause. Then Matt’s voice. “He didn’t help you. I did.”

Wow.

Didn’t think you’d ever hear something like that come out of Matt Murdock’s mouth. Then again, there were a lot of things he’d said recently that you never thought would come out of his mouth.

You watched for people as Matt slipped through the curtain and you walked to the next empty ‘room’ over, where Matt’s coat, shades, hat, and cane were. He de-Daredevil’d and Matt-Murdock’d up.

“So that’s where you’re at, huh,” you commented, leaning against the wall.

“What.”

“Falling out with You-Know-Who?” You gestured to the ceiling.

“Something like that.”

He really had lost something. You knew what Matt’s faith in God meant to him. Hell, it took you years to lose yours. You had held on as long as you could, all through the torment that the Red Room had inflicted on you, all through their process of turning you into a weapon. It wasn’t until you left, until you were able to look at all the things you had been through and that had been done to you and that you had done that you realized the truth.

There was no one up there looking out for you.

No one was going to help you but you.

“Are you coming?” Matt asked. You nodded and pushed off the wall, following him out.

Matt had to ask her.

He’d been thinking about it for a while now, in those spaces where he remembered that Y/N had been his friend and where he remembered just how much she had meant to him. Before he could remind himself that she was different and that he didn’t need her.

Because he needed to know. A part of him needed to know, regardless of everything else.

“So, what kind of alcohol do you want me to steal?” Y/N was saying when they got back to the Clinton Church basement, after Matt had taken off the coat and the hat and the shades.

“Y/N.”

“I’m kidding, I will buy them,” she assured. Then in a deadpan tone she joked, “Ohhh shit, you can tell when I’m lying.”

“How long has it been since you escaped?”

Her heartbeat picked up slightly.

“From the people in Russia that trained you, I mean,” Matt added.

Despite the increase in heart rate and the nervous sort of gesture of scratching the back of her neck, Y/N’s tone was nonchalant. “Uh. Hard to say. I did a lot of time traveling.” It was still strange, the way she mentioned ‘time travel’ like it was normal. Matt was still trying to wrap his head around the whole thing. “But um. . . . Five years? Give or take. Oh and by the way,” she added, “I did the math and did you know that you’re five years older than I am now?” She shook her head with a small laugh. “Time travel is so weird.”

Five years.

She’s been free for five years.

He had to say it. He owed the person he used to be, the person who used to pray that she was safe somewhere, the person who used to pray that someday he would see her again. The boy who sat at her funeral and refused to believe that she was dead.

“You didn’t think to visit me?”

Her heart rate spiked again.

“Call?” Matt continued, arms crossed. “Send me a letter telling me you were okay?”

She moved to walk past him. “Why, you wouldn’t be able to read it.” Indifferent, detached words.

Matt caught her arm. He needed to say it. He needed to say it for the person that used to love her. “. . .You didn’t think to contact me?”

She was looking at him. She was looking at him and her heart was pounding in her chest.

You escaped the Red Room five years ago and you still haven’t gone to see him, not in any way that matters.

You fucking coward.

You couldn’t say it. You couldn’t say the words. You couldn’t tell him that you thought about going to find him. You thought about going to find him a thousand times. A million times. Every day you were with the Red Room. Then after, when you were free, every once in a while the urge to see him would spring up. You couldn’t tell him that you decided not to find him. You couldn’t tell him that you decided not to find him because the Red Room murdered his friend. You couldn’t tell him that the Red Room had murdered his friend and that she wasn’t coming back. You couldn’t tell him that you wouldn’t go find him because you couldn’t stand in front of him as the terrible, horrible person that you had become. You wouldn’t go find him because you couldn’t stand the thought of him seeing what you had become and hating you for it.

You pretended like you didn’t care. Like it didn’t matter how Matt had been acting toward you. Like it didn’t matter how you could feel his palpable disappointment.

It fucking mattered.

It fucking mattered and you fucking hated it. You fucking hated him for that. You hated him for making you feel this way.

But you didn’t want to care. Caring was distracting. Caring would kill you. So you tempered it. Locked it in a box and put it with all the other locked things.

You would not care. It did not matter.

And although her heart continued to beat quick and loudly in that quiet basement, Y/N gave him a grin and lightly pushed her hand into his chest. “You missed me,” came the teasing, easy words.

Matt let her slip from his grasp as she went over to his bed and sat down, then lied down, on it. It was so casual the way she did it, the way she plucked his shades from the table and started playing with them. As if she was bored.

Matt’s jaw worked. He knew she wasn’t feeling as indifferent as she was acting. He could still hear her heartbeat, still knew that she was as stressed about this as he was. And yet she continued to be difficult about it.

“Y’know you’re being kind of a hypocrite, right?” Y/N said, her eyes still on the shades as she examined them. When he didn’t say anything, she finally sat up and rested the shades in her lap. “If you’re living here in the Clinton Church basement it means that everyone still thinks you're dead. Do your friends even know that you’re alive?”

He worked his jaw again. “They’re better off without me.”

Her chin dipped down and her hands played with the shades, her attention leaving him again. In the time between, she had gotten her heartbeat to calm, but now it spiked.

Oh.

Did she think—

But before Matt could completely wrap his head around that thought, she was getting up and putting the shades down.

“Tell them, don’t tell them, it doesn’t matter to me,” she said as she walked past him. “Y’know Sister Maggie’s got my number. Call me if you want some extra vigilante help again. ‘Wolf of Hell’s Kitchen’. It’ll catch on, I know it will.”

And she was gone before Matt could get another word in.

He wondered how many more months it would be before he’d see her again.

Then he wondered when he started keeping count.

Next Chapter

A/N: I imagine Wolf’s mask looks like the Cheshire mask from Young Justice, but more wolf-like. Let me know what you guys think!

Tag List: @stupidiout100 @coff3e-and-biscuits @caswinchester2000 @waywardsister1111 @ummvengers @asongofmarvelanddc @1971marauders @krazy-katt-lady @flowercrowns3438 @takethee

#daredevil #daredevil x reader #matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #daredevil x you #matt murdock x you #daredevil imagine #matt murdock imagine #devil may cry wolf

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aceofshitposts · 3 years ago

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I saw that you like CATS the musical. What are your thoughts on the movie?

AAAAH AHHAHA oh man oh boy y'all should BUCKLE IN cuz it's a ride

my simple thoughts? it's entertaining if only because it butchered the stage show so badly in an attempt to idk modernize it? Well, modernization is one part of it I think. The other part I'll go into below lol. I don't necessarily hate some of the more modern renditions of the songs (mostly the ensemble sets like Jellicle Song for Jellicle Cats) but then others are just... so poorly done it's insulting.

I've said this at the end of this whole rant too but I'm gonna put it up here in case people don't (justifiably) wanna see me go on and on about it:

The movie wasn't made for fans of the musical. It was made to make money and I believe they choose, at least partially, to do that through making it the weirdest and worst possible adaptation they could so that people would want to go see the train wreck. Which, really, worked! It was all people could talk about for a good while so like... Goal achieved, I guess.

A MUCH MORE COMPREHENSIVE ANALYSIS UNDER THE CUT cuz i don't wanna. flood your dash with... this

ALRIGHT SO. Most of my friends know I'm actually a huge fan of new adaptations of things. I love remakes (provided the people making it are coming at it with some form of heart and not just... cash grabbing which is more often the case) I love seeing other peoples interpretations of characters, or changing settings. It's one of the reasons I like American comics so much, getting to see different writers takes is fascinating.

I think musical movies can be wonderful ways to introduce people to a stage show that might have been unavailable to them otherwise! Chicago, for example, is one of the BEST musical to movie adaptations in my opinion. It kept the heart of the show, it's funny and the song numbers are done really well.

There are of course other famous examples, such as Grease or Bye Bye Birdie. Hairspray was also a wonderful take. These are simply off the top of my head, there are of course more.

CATS in particular has a history. If you go through my CATS tag you may see a few posts from @catsnonreplica which posts photos from non broadway productions of CATS! It's a fascinating read and I love, love, love looking at the other interpretations of the characters! CATS is a musical full of fun and wonderful characters if you take the time to see past the ridiculousness haha and the Korean and Japanese runs of CATS especially have some of my favourites.

How does this relate to the movie, I hear you say well. As you might has noticed the movie's interpretations of the characters is........ lackluster at best and downright uncanny valley at best.

CATS is, at its core, a ridiculous thing. I will fully admit that! But it's fun, it's entertaining and if you pay a little attention you can actually get the plot. (Honestly I don't understand when people complain it has no plot but that's a whole other rant for another day)

The movie was... obsessed with this idea of like... semi realism? Like obviously, as a fan, I think they should have leaned into the over the top character designs but instead we got...w ell:

Bombalurina:

Demeter left and Bomba right. Demeter was actually cut! From the movie which is. upsetting lmao.

Macavity is one of the worst offenders for me:

Macavity was... I wish I could know what the hell they were thinking there cuz it's even in his song? Ginger cat??? THAT IS NOT... A GINGER CAT...... but I digress. I would show more examples but I think you get the point.

So. We've butchered the characters appearances. Okay that's fine but what about their personalities?

ALSO BUTCHERED.

There's... there's a lot to unpack here. Just for context: the Jellicle Ball happens once a year and the Jellicle leader chooses a single cat to be reborn into a new life. In the stage play all the cats who are nominated for this honour are on the older side (Jenny-Any-Dots, Bustopher Jones, Skimbleshanks, Gus The Theatre Cat, and eventually Grizzabella) AND are always nominated by another cat. Not themself, unlike the movie where they all seem to nominate themselves.

Jenny-Any-Dots went from a doting grandmother figure who's celebrated for her selfless volunteering and tireless work into a conceited, vain younger cat who is obsessed with fame.

It's an incredibly strange dichotomy. I don't doubt some of it isn't the result of the uh people playing the characters honestly. I do think some of them did the best they could! I don't really blame Jason Derulo, for example, for Tugger. And honestly, Tugger was probably closest to his stage version (while being a trouble maker, he's shown to show Deuteronomy an immense amount of respect)

Speaking of Tugger! This will bring us to one of the biggest grievances with the movie and that is how they handled Mr Mistoffelees.

So... Ugh. So. We have Victoria as the pov character, which imo is like whatever in the grand scheme of things, and then we have Misto who they have decided will be get live interest cuz... Of course. Misto is shown throughout the musical to be awkward, unsure of himself and well. Really, kinda incompetent. Which is Wild cuz in the stage show he might be aloof but he's fairly confident in his powers.

So, Old Deuts gets kidnapped. In the stage show Tugger is the one to bring Misto forward! It's really quite sweet, imo, and I'm showing myself as a Tuggoffelees shipper here, but again Tugger is previously shown to be pretty conceited but then here he is boosting and hyping up Misto to bring Deuteronomy back. My friends and I have lovingly dubbed this the boyfriend hype song.

SOMEHOW. The movie manages to make this, easily, the MOST BORING number in the whole thing. Which, again, WILD. Misto awkwardly stumbles through his whole song, which again is... Boasting of his supreme magical powers which movie Misto clearly. Does not have or believe to have. The song, to me, feels super awkward and unnecessarily drawn out in the movie which sucks cuz it's one of my favourites in the show.

The declawing (heh) of Mr Mistoffelees actually reminds me strongly of how they changed Gaston in the live action Beauty and the Beast movie. He's gone from a beloved figure in the animated movie to someone so disliked in the town that Le Fou has to pay people off to say nice things about him. It's just. Wild character choices were made!!

Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat is probably my favourite in movie non ensemble number. It feels the most... Genuine? Compared to the other nomination songs.

Other problems include but are not limited to:

The inconsistent size scale of the CATS which throws me off constantly.

The weirdly overt sexual overtones added to MANY of the songs (Jenny and Bustopher being the worst)

This is just a personal gripe and opinion but I don't like that they used the UK version of Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer. The American version is both better known and tbh way more fun. Teazer's giggle? Adds ten years to my life every time.

Victoria's added solo song, Beautiful Ghosts, while I like the song as a song it doesn't fit the style of message of the musical. In the movie she's singing directly to Grizzabella who's being an outcast for years that she should be grateful she even has memories of being part of the tribe?? What?? But I know they had to add an original song to be able to be nominated for awards in like the Grammys n shit (which is why all musical movies will have an original song, fun fact!!) kinda funny they went to the effort though considering........... I don't think anyone could have genuinely believed CATS 2019 was gonna win anything but golden rhaspberries.

Movie Mr Mistoffelees has made repeated appearances as my sleep paralysis demon

The various cut characters, shout outs to Jemima, Demeter and Jellylorum especially

Bombalurina being a henchman to Macavity rubs me the wrong way

God I've written... So much. You probably get it by now haha. Like I said at the beginning, I try to go into any adaptation with an open mind but... Let's be honest, this movie wasn't marketed to people who are fans of the musical.

It was marketed, and made, to make money. And they choose to do that through, I think, intentionally making the worst possible version ever. Bad press is still press and the more outrageous people said the movie was the more people wanted to go see exactly what kind of train wreck it was.

Which is a disservice to the stage show, honestly, and all the people who've worked on it over the years.

But what can we do, right?

And besides all that, I do... Still own the movie version and I do still rewatch it on occasion. It is entertaining even if it's in a train wreck kind of way. I usually end up watching the 1998 version, then 2019 and then various tour runs that are on YouTube. (I highly recommend the 2016 tour, it's very good)

So in conclusion. It's fun (?) to watch. I enjoy picking things apart and doing analysis (if you couldn't tell!) so like... I don't hate it?

It did what it set out to do, I guess, and I can't fault it for that but. It's not a fair metre with which to judge the stage show imo. But I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, haha.

Jazz hands. I'm more than happy to elaborate or just chat about CATS if anyone wants! I grew up listening to the Broadway CD since I was a toddler so it's been! A very long standing obsession haha. Probably the only other thing on par with CATS is my obsession with Jurassic Park which I've also been a fan of since I was 3 (but that's a whole story in and of itself)

#astrix thoughts #cats the musical #Thanks for the opportunity to talk about one of my hyperfixations anon!#And to anyone who reads this whole mess lmao

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uzuuzuking · 5 years ago

Text

so this started out as just a general post about why i like cinderella adaptations, but slowly spiraled into a ranking/review of all the cinderella adaptations i’ve seen in my short, young life. so strap in for possibly the longest post i’ve ever made on this blog. (look, i never know how much i have to say about something until i really get going lmao)

idk why i like cinderella adaptations/remakes/spinoffs so much? most of them are garbage (especially the ones within the last 10 years don’t @ me) but fuck it i like this brand of garbage. it’s fun to watch these movies and rework the bad plotlines and dialogue in my head as i go along.

i guess i like the source material and some of the aspects of all the different adaptations, but honestly i just like re-imagining them because there’s only so much cringey script-written-for-teens-but-clearly-written-by-40-year-old-adults-who-have-no-idea-how-teens-or-even-people-for-that-matter-actually-talk-and-interact i can take in one excruciating sitting.

anyway here’s my personal ranking of all the cinderella adaptations i’ve seen that no one asked for. (not including stage productions because i haven’t seen any and have no opinion of them. also not including into the woods because that’s not just cinderella, but a spectacular amalgamation of fairytale mishap and shenanigan.) and reviews because apparently i had more to say than i originally thought when i first started constructing this list:

cinderella (1997) - the absolute best cinderella adaptation of all time, hands down, this is non-negotiable. this movie has it all: an excellent and diverse cast, gorgeous costume design, beautiful sets, some of the most dazzling dance numbers i ever witnessed when i first watched it at the wee age of 4, and a positive, progressive message that was accurate for its time yet also so ahead of its time. i cannot praise this version of cinderella enough, it is my all time favorite and one of my top 3 feel-good movies. if you watched it today, the effects might not be as magical compared to what we have now, but keep in mind it was released in 1997. anyway, the cast is truly amazing and so effortlessly inclusive (and honestly the fact that the prince was asian with a black mother and white father and they literally never addressed it was such a power move). i could go on about this movie forever (i’ll probably make a whole post dedicated to it in the future) and what it meant to me and many others as young, impressionable poc. in conclusion, this movie set an exceedingly high standard for me and destroyed the chances of any other cinderella adaptation even hoping to live up to that. i love it! so! much!

ever after: a cinderella story (1998) - tbh i never saw this until i was in college but i immediately fell in love. i love the flow of the story as a whole - i never felt like anything was missing. i love the costumes and i especially love how danielle and henry’s relationship progressed throughout the film. slow-burn comes to mind when i watch their interactions and we all love a sweet, sweet slow-burn. it’s romance babes! it’s Dramatic in a few scenes and all i can say is that it really works because drew barrymore’s performance is exceptional, fantastic, engaging, more adjectives to describe how enthralled by her i was. above all, her character is compassionate - she uses her voice to speak in support for those who are suppressed by the flawed government systems and law enforcers, and influences the prince to use his status and power to better his people who lack the privileges of the nobility. she’s such a strong female lead (emotionally and physically - she literally fireman carries her love interest, who is taller than her and definitely exceeds her own bodyweight) and truly the mvp of this adaptation. watch it. watch it for Her.

enchanted (2007) - amy adams and idina menzel - ‘nuff said. okay but for real this one is so unique with its transition from classic d*sney 2D animation style to the real three-dimensional world and i adore it to the ends of the earth. the music? slaps! the story? slaps! the development of the main character? slaps!! she’s so princess-y and d*sney cartoon-y and struggles in the real world, but she adapts at a good pace and i love that she learns to be realistic while also keeping hope and love close to her heart. also her mother figure / daughter figure bond with morgan is so so precious. the only constructive criticism i have for this movie is the fact that we were robbed of idina menzel singing!!! did they know all along she was destined to play the frozen queen years in the future and decided against her singing in this one?? is that it? ridiculous. it’s been over a decade and i’m still seething over this. other than that this movie is *chef’s kiss*

ella enchanted (2004) - anne hathaway’s back must still be hurting from carrying this film. (no shade to the other cast members, they’re good, but anne is a queen and i forever love her.) this is another childhood favorite of mine. the story itself is a refreshing take - hats off to gail carson levine for the source material! i’ve talked about the differences between the movie and book before in the midst of my reread of the book a few months ago, but i don’t remember how much i focused on the movie. it’s so different from the book that it might as well be its own thing. on its own, the movie is pretty decent! again, mostly because of anne. it’s funny, it’s sad (especially that scene towards the beginning between ella and areida, i’m in stupid tears every time), and it gets weird but it’s a fun time. the chemistry between char and ella is so zesty i can feel it through the screen, i swoon over both of them. tbh i probably wouldn’t like this movie so much if not for the fact that anne hathaway is truly talented and i spend most of my time watching it just looking at her.

cinderella 3: a twist in time (2007) - i genuinely enjoyed and appreciated how the characters were written in this one. they all had clear motives and became much more dynamic through their lines and actions (drizella is arguably the most static character here but she still amuses me so it’s fine i guess). cinderella has more agency since the stakes are higher. prince charming actually has a gotdamn personality and has some of the funniest scenes and dialogue. good for him. i was kind of sad that anastasia’s story with the sweet baker boy was thanos snapped by the stepmother, but she and baker boy get a cute credits illustration together so it’s still canon! maybe i’m more biased on this one because i grew up rewatching it A Lot, but i definitely prefer it to the first and second movies.

cinderella (2000) - this one is kind of weird but i like it? the film has a really interesting vibe that i’m still trying to figure out how to describe even after seeing it like 5 times. wikipedia refers to the aesthetic style as “the glamour of the 1950s” which just might be as close as we can get. it follows the general guidelines of the cinderella plot, but the main differences were: zezolla (cinderella) was already helping with the chores before her father remarried, claudette (stepmother) was actively trying to murder zezolla’s father during their marriage, the stepsisters were much more violent and crass (they hunted zezolla’s beloved farm animals for sport and talked about getting “a man in [their] bed”), zezolla’s father was manipulated by everything claudette did and said and treated his own daughter poorly as a result, and prince valiant is honestly kind of a douchebag but seems willing to improve himself after meeting zezolla (basically his vibes are iffy but he’s willing to learn). this whole movie is pretty niche and i have yet to interact with someone who’s also seen it. and the only reason i’ve seen it so many times is because i just like listening to how the dialogue is delivered. (except for prince valiant’s random song at the ball, i kind of hated that and i skip through it every time lol).

a cinderella story (2004) - the classic hilary duff version. very cliche early 2000s high school romance, but it works for the cinderella narrative. not particularly diverse. a classic nonetheless. in my mind this is the pinnacle of the “modern cinderella movie” type. this is one of the most iconic movies for us zillennials and i’d like to think it’s known well enough for me to not go into a lot of detail about it. basically it was fresh and new for its time, had plenty of memorable scenes, and did i mention hilary duff? the film kind of plays into the “not like other girls” trope - as do a couple of the movies i listed above - but i’m just going to acknowledge that the early 2000s were Wack and simply move on. all in all, i like this movie for the nostalgia, iconic scenes, and hilary duff. also jennifer coolidge is pretty funny as the stepmother.

another cinderella story (2008) - again, an early 2000s classic, but this time with selena gomez. i liked the dancing in this one. i like selena’s quiet, somewhat timid characterization of her character, mary. and jane lynch in the stepmother role is perfection. she’s so fun to watch and is always hilarious. the story is nothing remarkable, but it’s okay and i liked it as a kid. after the hilary duff version, this one still managed to feel fresh because, though it was similar in its modern era approach, it focused more on the performing arts and dance. “cinderella” is an aspiring dancer, rather than the 2004 aspiring scholar. the “prince” is a famous popstar, not a football player. the stepmother is an outdated popstar desperate to stay Hip and Relevant with the kids, not a cranky botox lady. honestly i just love watching this one for the dancing, mary’s genuine and innocent love for the “prince”, and literally everything that comes out of jane lynch’s mouth. that woman is a dialogue gold mine.

a cinderella story: once upon a song (2011) - lucy hale is good. missi pyle is good. they play their roles and lines that they’re given fairly well. over all, it’s entertaining. lucy, of course, has them Pipes and i do like the songs in this movie. the only major downside for me was the “token best friend of color” trope. lucy’s best friend is an asian girl who’s good at sports and is there for one liners and support. the prince charming character’s best friend is a black guy who he only knew for probably a month at the most. he can beatbox, sing, and dj. basically he’s also just there as support. they really don’t do much for the plot but they’re there for diversity and whatnot. this movie is.. fine.

cinderella (1950) - the only reason this ranks so low for me is because i watched it a lot as a child when it was on vhs and it always felt like a fever dream to me. i was just really young and didn’t feel invested in any of the characters. it is a classic, though, and i would watch it again and be able to enjoy it.

cinderella 2: dreams come true (2002) - i liked cinderella’s and anastasia’s stories from this one. jaq’s was meh. it was fine.

dj cinderella or cinderella pop (2019) - netflix knows i like cinderella adaptations so, naturally, they shoved this into my recommended and, naturally, i watched it. twice. which is more than i can say for the following review... so this movie is brazillian and is pretty much the cut & mold of modern cinderella movies. but she wants to be a dj. she stars out living a perfect life as a wealthy girl with a loving family, but turns out her dad is cheating on her mom with his secretary. that’s when she “stops believing in love”. which is actually valid bc if i saw one of my parental figures cheating on the other, i honestly wouldn’t know what to believe in anymore. anyway, cíntia dorella (yes. that’s her full name.) and her mom move into her aunt’s place. a year or so passes. stepmother/secretary/cheating lady is throwing an extravagant birthday party for her daughters and hires freddy prince, a popular musician who cíntia doesn’t really like. meanwhile, cíntia gets a dj gig she’s excited for until she finds out she’s the opener for freddy prince at her stepsisters’ party. she ends up disguising herself as “dj cinderella” and freddy is super into her. it’s pretty generic from there but i was entertained enough to watch it twice. take from that what you will.

cinderella (2015) - ok so we been knew that d*sney’s live action remakes ain’t shit, and this one is no exception. d*sney within the last few years has been like 99% aesthetics and marketing. this movie was visually stunning, especially with the settings and costumes. those were the only 2 things i truly liked. everything else was forgettable. in its defense, i did read a post about the “have courage and be kind” message which is something wonderful to hold onto, especially for anyone in an abusive situation like ella. that’s valid and i respect that. i still lowkey hate this movie tho. i started getting a headache about 4 reviews ago, but remembering how much praise this movie got has reignited my fighting spirit. honestly if you like it, that’s good, you like what you like and that’s that. but this is my review and i hated how proper ella’s posture was (she’s been doing physical labor hunched on the floor for years now, how does she not slump around in exhaustion at the end of the day??), i hated how perfectly curated the whole thing was (again, that’s mostly because of d*sney and their aesthetics), and i hated how hollow everything felt. i can’t perfectly describe it, but i never felt emotionally invested in any of the characters. something about their performance was lacking and yet again i blame d*sney. i actually really like lily james, but something about the way she was directed left me devoid of emotional attachment to ella. i remember nothing about ella’s step family or the prince. that’s how much of an impact this adaptation had on me. also i just remembered the fairy godmother as i type this. i ADORE helena bonham carter, but this movie does a horrible disservice to her. if she liked working on this movie, then i’m happy for her, but even she wasn’t strong enough to sell this to me. i saw this movie in theaters and came out of it lamenting my waste of money that i could have spent on something i would have actually enjoyed. but the thing that enraged me the most, the thing i despised, i detested, the thing i seethed over and rant about to this day was the ONE (1) token black character. i don’t even know if he had a name but he was captain of the guard or some shit. if i remember correctly (but probably not tbh this movie was so forgettable), he was the one who heard ella singing and was the whole reason the prince was able to have her try on the glass slipper. this man, who had zero character development, zero relevance to the plot, an insignificant amount of screen time, is suddenly the reason the main character is able to finally connect with her love interest. um. What. i hate how the writers treated him and i will forever be filled with every last grain of salt over this. anyway he’s my favorite character and everyone else is just eh. to conclude this ungodly long review, i don’t like this movie. i tried to watch it again once but got so bored i quit 10 minutes in. do yourself a favor and watch cinderella (1997) instead. (the only reason this movie is ranked above the remaining 5 is the production quality. but i guess that’s unfair bc d*sney has the big bucks. and maybe i wouldn’t be so harsh if i weren’t sleep deprived and grumpy from a sugar-induced headache, but these feelings still come from my Chest so idk.)

a cinderella story: a christmas wish (2019) - i think we all secretly enjoy christmas-themed movies and this has got to be someone’s guilty pleasure. i was mildly entertained (but again with the cringey dialogue written by people clearly not in high school...) and i do like laura marano. but they autotuned her to hell and back - which i loathed - because the woman can actually sing and she has a lovely voice. she got to sing candidly one (1) time and i relished the experience. my ears thank her beautiful, un-autotuned voice. other than that it was.. fine. i didn’t hate it but i didn’t like it either. laura marano deserves better than this. (can’t say the same for the other actors tho because their roles were unmemorable.) also laura marano was super cute in her elf costume!

not cinderella’s type (2018) - i legit forgot about this one until after i compiled the entire list lol. i saw it on youtube and it was decent as far as i remember. it’s another modern day cinderella. i think the “prince” runs over “cinderella’s” cat or something?? i’m pretty sure it was her mom’s cat so now she has nothing left to remember her mom by. prince boy feels awful and tries to befriend her or do something to make it up to her, but she just doesn’t really like him. i think her aunt and uncle are emotionally abusive to her and prince boy does his best to be there for her without making things worse. if i remember correctly, i liked that aspect of the movie because it’s hard to be there for a victim of any kind of abuse if trying to help them could potentially hurt them more, especially minors still under the care of abusive guardians. anyway i think cinderella girl’s best friend is in love with her or something but she ends up not being into him and slowly gets together with prince boy. she eventually moves out of her guardians’ house and into the spare house at prince boy’s home (he’s rich or something). i need to rewatch this movie tbh i could be wrong about everything here lol.

rags (2012) - not amazing, definitely not memorable because i have nothing to say about its plot or writing, but it has keke palmer which is its one redeeming quality. also it’s the only one on this list where the male protagonist is the cinderella. so that’s solid i guess.

a cinderella story: if the shoe fits (2016) - this was a movie. it happened. i vaguely remember how ridiculous it was and sometimes i felt secondhand embarrassment. i don’t remember what about specifically, but i remember the emotion. sofia carson is a talented singer. i think she’s a decent actor but this script was Bad.

elle: a modern cinderella tale (2010) - i only watched this one because i was bored out of my damn mind and saw it on youtube. i felt bad for all the actors because this script was terrible. i don’t recommend this unless you’re about to sit down with your squad and make fun of it.

apparently descendants is on the “cinderella adaptations and references” list on imdb but i refuse to put it on my list because it’s not a cinderella-specific adaptation and i don’t like the descendants franchise. now, if we’re going to discuss a quality series about the children of fairytale characters, that would hands down be ever after high. but that’s a different topic for a different day.

thus concludes the ranking no one asked for but i felt compelled to make. thank you and goodnight

#summer.txt #cinderella #longpost #if anyone reads through this whole thing congrats!#i'll get u a gold star from the esteemed dollar store and bequeath it to you via uploaded photo #i didn't think i'd be typing for 4 hours straight but apparently i have a lot to say #i started falling apart at the end there lol #and around the middle bc i forgot to add cinderella 1 and 2 #god my head fucking hurts #i had a craving for sugar today but i went overboard and now i'm paying the price

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marlbros · 5 years ago

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⋆* ❪ ⛓️ ❫ ⤻ crashes through a brick wall like the kool - aid man hi i’m paige & i’m here to present you with neels , who is a piece of coal put under a lot of pressure but instead of a diamond he just turned into cubic zirconium . if this appeals to u , drop a like & i’ll come collect .

ʻ / let me introduce you to a prized member of our student government , cornelius ‘ neels ’ rockefeller . this cis male virgo has been a student at our institution for seven years and is currently a 21 year old junior . through the halls , he has always reminded me of timothée chalamet , but there is always more than meets the eye , like the fact that both of his parents are having affairs and he’s the only one who knows . coral cape has made their future just as bright as their smile , i assure you . ʼ

basics

→ name cornelius andrew rockefeller → nicknames neels → age / d.o.b. twenty one , 23rd august 1998 → gender / pronouns cis male / he & him → dominant hand left

lifestyle

→ born new york city , new york , usa → current residence portland , maine , usa → spoken languages english → major finance → clubs student government , golf team → drink / smoke / drugs yes / like an absolute chimney / rarely

character

→ moral alignment true neutral → mbti istj - t → zodiac virgo → tarot card seven of cups → archetype the achiever

first born son of his half of the rockefeller clan , it’s never been a secret that neels was favoured by his father . though only minutes older than his twin sister arden , the amount of pressure put on his shoulders by their paternal figure was enough to turn him into a fine dust . it was never difficult for neels to get what he wanted from his dad , as the golden boy / prodigal son . but best believe that every joy ride he ever took in the mercedes & every cent he ever spent of his father’s money was earned . ⤻ the eldest rockefeller man was very straight - forward about his expectations for neels —- attend cape coral , study finance , and follow directly in his illustrious footsteps . for now , neels is still walking that unforgiving tightrope .

basically neels is not #smart , but the amount of effort he always put into school was borderline obscene . he started building his educational resume the first day of his freshman year , morphing himself into a real future leaders of america type and sidelining any and all unrelated interests . he’s very dedicated to his own success , because he’s always wanted to do well without his family’s connections . ⤻ literally the only subject he’s never had to bust his ass at is math . the man’s a math guru , esp when it comes to money math . money makes the world go ‘round , and neels learned that from a young age . his affinity for finance is essentially what’s keeping his relationship with his father afloat , and you can catch him doing everybody’s taxes come filing season .

my man cornelius is all about the emotional extremes . he feels everything very deeply , no matter how much he wishes he didn’t . he has a terrible , terrible hair - trigger temper , one that can be set off by the drop of a hat . it doesn’t show its face very often , but it doesn’t help that he’s lowkey kind of a spoiled brat lmao . on the other side of the coin , he’s a very caring individual that wants the best for the people he loves , and is the worst kind of free falling hopeless romantic . he's in love with at least 4 people at all times . ⤻ he has a tendency to push away the people that are good for him and attract the people that might hurt him . his usual m.o. is finding the tiniest thing he doesn’t like about somebody and using that as an excuse to cut them off . mans can’t keep a friend or a lover to save his gd life . the only people he’s had as constants in his life are his twin sister and the rest of his family .

he’s currently the only member of his family that knows that both his mother and his father are having separate affairs . he’s known about his father’s for a few months after seeing some incriminating text messages while they were out to lunch , but his mother’s is a new discovery . he hasn’t told either of his siblings , mostly because�� he wants to protect them from such a shitty piece of information lol . he’s a steel trap , though tbh his parents don’t deserve his secrecy .

quick fun facts

⤻ my man loves a good suit . he’s been rocking slacks and trousers since he was twelve , he loves a good designer piece , and if you see him wearing jeans , something is terribly wrong . like seriously amiss .

⤻ he chain smokes like fuck . only marlboro reds ‘cause he likes the way they hurt the back of his throat .

⤻ he’s obsessed with basketball . his favourite team is the knicks , he knows everything about them including all the players’ stats and the two years they’ve won the nba championship . can he play basketball ? fuck no . but he still loves the game lol .

⤻ he’s a music hoe . neels rockefeller will only listen to one band , and that band is fleetwood mac . i hate him . not only will he only listen to them , but he’ll also only listen to them on vinyl . he’s disgusting .

⤻ wine mom alert . this boy loves a good red . he loves a dry chardy in the afternoon , and a spicy merlot in the evening . hand him a wine spritzer and maybe he’ll stop being so fuckin moody .

wanted connections

⤻ the one friend he managed to keep . he’s shit at maintaining relationships , but for one reason or another , this person decided to stick around . he appreciates them big time , but he’ll never admit to it , so don’t hold ur breath .

⤻ exes . ex - lovers or ex - friends , he’s rolling in them . the worst at being a good friend or boyfriend . the worst . very stand - offish , never shares his feelings . i truly feel bad for anyone ever involved with him .

⤻ bad influence . listen , i don’t even wanna say that they’re a bad influence , they’re just somebody who can manage to get him to pull the stick out of his ass for a second and have fun . must be willing to hear about the knicks and / or fleetwood mac if u intend to give him alcohol .

⤻ studdy buddies . he needs #help . though he’s majoring in finance and math is his strong suit , he struggles with virtually everything else . someone aid him lol .

⤻ gossip queens . these two get together and tell secrets over white wine and neels gives them unsolicited fashion advice in a dry voice lmao . he loves a good juicy piece of gossip , much to his dismay —- so this person is likely semi - important to him .

⤻ the crush . listen he’s not made of stone . in fact , he’s actually very mushy on the inside and he does fall for people even if it’s only momentarily lol .

⤻ literally anything else , please hit me up .

#capecoral:intro #: - D

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gamerwoo · 6 years ago

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A Guide to Pentagon (bc y’all are sleeping on them and it needs to stop)

This is mostly for @neverknewgrey2016 who wants to get into them, but I decided to make a whole masterlist of sorts bc they’re slept on and I’m tiredt of it. So these are videos I watched to get into them/learn about them. Here we go kids!!!

Music Videos (in order):

Gorilla

Can You Feel It

Pretty Pretty

Critical Beauty

To Universe

When I Was In Love (doesn’t show them, I think, but still a nice song)

Like This

Runaway

Violet

Shine

Naughty Boy / Performance Ver bc I love Naughty Boy ok

Sha La La / Dance The X Pentagon bc it’s the only time Kino was included and I love it

Genius

Humph!

Dr. BeBe

(I’m not including Japanese mvs because I’m not sure how many of them there are but I’m sure if you look around you can find em)

Videos To Watch To Learn Members:

An (Un)Helfpful Guide To Pentagon

how to tell pentagon members apart

The Immigration (part 1)

The Immigration (part 2)

Pentagon Plays Who’s Who

(People told me when I was getting into them to watch Pentagon Maker but I could never find all the parts with English subs so I never did but if you find them good for you dkfhsdk)

Misc Videos That Might Help But I Just Like Them:

Pentagon Nimdle playlist

pentagon as vines

Pentagon as Vines Compilation

pentagon and the english language

Get It Beauty with Kino (it’s basically just Kino fucking up Yanan’s face but I love it)

Let’s Dance: Pentagon -- Shine

K-Pop Stars React To Try Not To Sing Along Challenge

Round 1 Lyrics (trust me them roasting each other will really help you get to know them lmao)

Round 2 Dance Practice (same deal w Round 1, just turn on subs)

But I also decided to be nice and do like half the work for you so here’s a very short guide to Pentagon courtesy of me:

Hui

Real name: Lee Hoetake (on all the official stuff it says his name is hoetaek but unis call him huitaek and i never knew why but at this point im too afraid to ask)

Birth date: August 28th, 1993

Leader

Trying so hard to take care of his kids that just blow him off

Always wants to hold hands and nobody else ever does

But he loves them anyway

Cries at anything and everything

The running joke is that he’s not the best at English even though his mom is an English teacher (ex: ”Load to Kingdom”)

A vocal king

Makes a lot of their songs tbh

This dude does everything he sings, dances, produces like he’s way too slept on

Jinho

Real name: Jo Jinho

Birth date: April 17th, 1992

He’s the oldest

Also tiniest

Another vocal king

He’s always doing bomb ass covers (his Bohemian Rhapsody one? I died)

Speaks/understands English really well tbh

Almost never cries

He’s like the glue that holds ptg together

He’s currently doing his enlistment but he was really excited about it and the members speak to him often!!

Hongseok

Real name: Yang Hongseok

Birth Date: April 17th, 1994

Fluent in English and I think Mandarin too???

He’s basically a big brainy boi

And a big muscly boi

Bffs w BM from Kard and VP of the BTC

So fuckin competitive like he won’t give anybody pity points

He’s basically super smart and super beefy like he’s all around perfect

Disguised as a crackhead tho

E’Dawn

Real name: Kim Hyojong

Birth date: Jun 1st, 1994

He’s not a member anymore but I’m including him anyway!!

Fuck Cube and everybody who gave him shit

That last bit technically isn’t a fact but it’s a Fact tm

Love plants

Screams unprovoked all the time

A sweet but chaotic boy

He’s basically a child but we love him

PS look at him and Hyuna living their best lives!!!!

Shinwon

Real name: Ko Shinwon (I’ve seen his surname spelled with a k and with a g so ???? idk man)

Birth date: December 11th 1995

Stringbean boi #1 aka he’s tol and thin

Him and Hongseok always doing weird shit together in group photos

He’s afraid of animals

Like,,,,,,all animals

His voice is super distinct to me idk how to explain it

#1 The 1975 stan

Loves his McDonald’s dude idk

He may seem a lil strange and he is but god he cares so deeply about the members

Yeo One

Real name: Yeo Changgu

Birth date: March 27th, 1996

He looks like a prince and he is a prince

With any hair color he’s normal but when he goes blonde he’s suddenly a thot idk

His smile could end wars

Still lowkey a crackhead bc everybody is in Pentagon

Recently became a very beefy boi

He reminds me of a puppy this lil angel always looks happy

In the words of Jinho, “he’s an idiot”

He’s just a big soft boi

Yanan

Real name: Yan An (his Korean name is Kim Yanan because he likes kimchi and that’s so valid)

Birth date: October 25th, 1996

The baby boy of the world

Stringbean boi #2

He’s the only member from China

He’s friends w Jun from Seventeen and it’s so cute

He has a tattoo on his chest

I’d take a bullet for him. FACT.

We literally haven’t seen him w Pentagon since Sha La La (other than the one selfie he took w them before/when they were on RTK) and Cube won’t tell us anything other than the fact he’s going to be in a new Chinese drama but he’s said he wants to come back but Cube is leaving him on read

Anyway even non unis love Yanan so if you want just one reason to stan here it is everyone loves Yanan

Yuto

Real name: Adachi Yuto

Birth date: January 23rd, 1998

When I found out he was 2 years younger than me I lost it

He looks so mature and handsome but he a babie

The only member from Japan, and he is Japan’s prince

Rap line

Deep ass voice part 1

Used to play baseball (and soccer, I think)

Shy soft boi who plays Animal Crossing and listens to Keshi

He looks intimidating on the outside but then he smiles and giggles and it’s uwu city

SHINee fanboy

Scared of absolutely everything

The Most Handsom Man in Kpop tm (don’t @ me this is a fact)

Kino

Real name: Kang Hyunggu

Birth date: January 27th, 1998

He a soft boi too

Sensitive is probably the better word but we still love him

Sometimes sexy boi tbh

But look at him he’s so cute

He’s pretty good at speaking/understanding English and idk how he learned but damn he really invented English step aside Hongseok

Really good at gg dances

And just dancing in general

He’s good at everything tbh

Wooseok

Real name: Jung Wooseok

Birth date: January 31st, 1998

Maknae

Stringbean boi #3

Deep ass voice part 2

And yet he can sing soprano parts for operas??? idk

He’s the youngest but is the tallest w the deepest voice lmao

I know I’ve basically said every member is a babie but Wooseok is also babie

He did an album w Kuanlin and I loved watching them together :’)

Rap line

Him and Yuto are bffs

He has a pretty singing voice @ Cube let him sing more

Alright that’s everything I got on how to get into Pentagon pls stop sleeping on them thx for coming to my TED talk.

#pentagon #hui #jinho #hongseok #e'dawn #hyojong #shinwon #yeo one #changgu #yanan #yuto #kino #hyunggu #wooseok

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yayninjabob · 4 years ago

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Author Commentary

Ramblings from Yay Ninja Bob about her monstrous creation~

Besides working on my fic, I personally try to journal every day, and I realized that a lot of my journaling has become me pretty much rambling about the process of writing this damn fic lol. So I thought I'd share some of that for those who may want to know more behind my chapters from my author's perspective.

It's certainly not everything I can say, but it is a lot haha..

Chapter 1 - Thirteen

Behind the title:

Well, when I first began writing VillainR, I hadn't planned on having chapter titles at all. Mainly because coming up with chapter titles (or titles for stories in general) has always been something I struggle with personally. Anywho after I decided I wanted to challenge myself with chapter titles, I went back and named chapter 1 "Thirteen." Why? Well, it is the PpG's thirteenth birthday, of course there is that. VillainR as a whole is many things, but one major thing is it is a coming of age story for Buttercup/Joey/Jojo, as well as a story of self-discovery. There's a few important ages I wanted to cover and 13 is around the age where many kids start to "develop" and being a super-powered kid, Buttercup finally begins to develop her own "special power" at this age. I wanted this "growing pain" to be the catalyst for the events of Part One. So, I gave the chapter the title of "Thirteen" to try to highlight the significance of that age for Buttercup. The self-discovery made at this age is that special power (although they are unaware of it at this point). It's considered an unlucky number, and as it turns out, it is an unlucky year for our main character.

During the writing process:

First draft was written on Halloween night 2019 and pretty much all of it was completely scrapped haha.

I started writing it in first person, like the original Villain, in Buttercup's POV. I kept the events but approached it again in third person and liked it so much better that way. One major thing I wanted to improve on with the rewrite was character development which is pretty hard to achieve when writing in a limited POV of a character who eventually loses sight of much around them. I debated briefly on maybe doing alternating POVs between Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup, but then I felt like it would still exclude a lot for other major characters like Mojo and Princess. I could add them too but I thought alternating too many POVs would be overwhelmingly difficult (for me as the author for sure but I imagine for the reader too) Third person seemed to be the best way to handle everything and really my only challenge with that was tweaking the whole "unreliable narrator" trope which I will be honest is my favorite trope ever. It is a challenge to try to recreate the same effect in third person, but I decided that a close third person was the best way to 1) tell a broader story and 2) still set limits on the reader's perspective, and control when and how I drop information and attempt to recreate a similar experience in an entirely new way I've never tried before heh. (I guess I will spend more time on this on my notes for Chapter 6)

Second draft I scribbled out in another few days with this new approach. It began at the start of the carnival and ended where it ends. Simultaneously I was reworking my overall outline for the fic and began to narrow down all the characters I wanted to be my key players for this epic. Once my outline was expanded to include everyone, I added the scene with Mojo and Him. For me, that's when I was like "Ayyy it's all coming together 👍👍" haha.

Another thing I wanted to improve on was setting and world-building. So final draft I decided to include some "history" behind Townsville and that's when I worked out the final draft.

This chapter definitely had the most trial and error during the writing process than any other chapter other than 5 so far.

Inspirations:

Townsville world-building/history - much of it is inspired by the city I grew up in (for the most part) which is Los Angeles. I mean it has all the sort of settings we've seen in the show which are all pretty diverse right? Townville had to have a diverse cityscape ranging from a busy downtown setting to quite suburbs to upperclass mansions, beaches, an island, forests, etc. Well I knew LA had all that and so I tried to re-imagine Townsville as basically an alternate universe LA lol. Monster Isle, I based on research I did on Catalina Island. I imagined the Utonium household was in a middle class neighborhood like Pasadena- close to the heart of LA but still a relatively "calmer" part of the city. Morbucks Manor would be in the Hills like Beverly Hills. Downtown was the heart of the city like Downtown LA. I debated briefly whether or not to have the Gangreen Gang be from an area modeled after South Central or East LA, but eventually I went with East LA because TBH I am just more familiar with it since that's where my mom's side is from and where I grew up early on in life. PLUS East LA actually has a pretty big punk scene so that fit the story too with Ace being in a punk band and all that.

1998 PpG Show References:

"Oh my gosh they have giant Bunny-Bunny's at the prize tent!"

(Super Zeroes)

Pop Culture References:

(OK most of my pop culture refs are just punk references lets be honest lol. Why Punk?? - because it is rebellion and rebellion is the heart of this fic)

The Clash - OK in original Villain I established that this was Buttercup's favorite band so I HAD to have that back for the redux. Here's all the refs I crammed into chapter 1 lol:

"Oh, Man! It's so hard to choose, like, I love literally everything by them. But I gotta say it's a tie probably between their first album and London Calling."

"Hell yeah. Jimmy Jazz is my jam."

youtube

"You know, my band does a cover of White Riot," Ace continued to talk music with the teenager as he lit his cigarette and took a deep drag. He held the smoke in his lungs as he continued, "Only we call our version Green Riot."

youtube

Blondie:

The one artist Buttercup had introduced Robin to that she instantly obsessed over was Blondie.

(Some) Symbolism:

- Blossom is 5'9" and Buttercup is 5'8" - Buttercup is always falling one step behind Blossom.

- Bumper Car scene - has some foreshadowing and well...

Blossom sat behind the wheel of a red bumper car at the opposite end of the metal floored rink. Buttercup crossed her arms in protest, "No way. I'm driving." she demanded.

Blossom also crossed her arms from where she sat behind the metal wheel. "So you can just rampage and crash into everybody here? No way." She fastened her seat belt with a quick snap and placed her hands firmly on the steering wheel again.

"Ugh. That's the whole point of bumper cars! It's to bump the other cars! You're supposed to try and bump everyone before the times up!"

"You always take it too far, Buttercup. I'm driving, so get in." The redhead grasped the steering wheel in her hands firmly, and refused to move.

And...

"You drive like an old lady," Buttercup shook her head in disbelief as her sister managed to avoid yet another collision.

"Well, that's your opinion," she shrugged off the insult, "Personally, I think it takes just as much skill to avoid every single car in here, as it does to hit every single car," she smiled at her sister.

And finally a brief allusion to the OG Villain lol...

"Blossom!" Buttercup shouted louder so she could get her sister's attention. She pointed at the fast approaching purple car that zoomed towards them from their right side. Behind the wheel of that car was Bubbles who wore a rather determined look on her face as Robin cheered for her.

Blossom saw, but by then it was too late. Bubbles and Robin's car slammed into Buttercup and Blossom's car at full force, spinning Buttercup and Blossom's car into the wall of the arena. The loud buzz which signified the end of the ride then sounded.

- the roller coaster is Buttercup's ideal carnival attraction; it's got the thrills, twists, turns, ups and downs. And makes Bubbles sick.

- the Ferris Wheel is Blossom's ideal carnival attraction; it's a staple of any fair, grand and big, overlooks everything, and traditionally romantic

YNB's favorite scene:

Personally, I loved writing the whole exchange between Buttercup and Blossom in the car. Establishing their rivalry, Buttercup's jealousy over Blossom's special power and heroism, Blossom's projection of her own insecurities, their differences, and their commonality.

Final thoughts on the chapter:

I was pretty satisfied with how it turned out but I did wait to post it until I had a decent headstart on chapter 2. I was pretty nervous about whether or not I could stay personally committed to writing this fic so I just wanted to make sure I was really feeling it first, lol. It had been so long since I'd written fanfic so I just needed to be sure.

When I outlined everything I estimated the chapter length to be around 6-7k words... And I was surprised that it was double that at about 12k. Which was wild because on my outline each opening chapter for Part 1, 2 and 3 were supposed to be shorter and more like preludes to everything else. Well, I guess they ARE shorter chapters but STILL definitely longer than any chapter I used to write for my multichaptered stories. At the time I thought "Ok obviously my writing has changed but surely I wont go much longer than 12k for future chapters...." Hurr hurr.

Personally, I was pretty proud of myself for spending so much time on it and rewriting it over and over and all that. In the past, TBH whatever was my first draft was pretty much also my last draft haha. I cranked out a chapter in one sitting usually and edited it mayyyybeee lol. I just wanted to get it posted so I could move on and get to that next point in the story. But I suppose now that I'm older and a bit more self aware, I realize a lot of my own anxieties manifest a lot in my writing though and I can recognize it in my old works like the OG Villain where I JUST WANNA GET TO WHAT I WANT TO WRITE RIGHT NOW OK?? I forced myself to slow the hell down this time, take it one scene at a time, and when things felt off I took breaks, slept on it for a few days and came back with new approaches or ideas. And so far that's how I continue to work on it.

Also, CHVRCHES. I listened to a ton of that band while working on this chapter especially.

#villainr #ppg fanfic #yayninjabob #behindthescenes #writing process #chapter 1 #let me know if you guys like this kinda stuff and I'll continue for the other chapters #commentary #author stuff

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eldritchsurveys · 5 years ago

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781.

Your ten favorite movies

Movie number one: The Fountain 1) Who’s the main actor? >> Hugh Jackman. 2) When did it come out? >> I want to say... 2007. 3) What’s the genre? >> Er... hmm. Fantasy? Maybe? I’m going to ask google. ...Oh, apparently Wikipedia classifies it as an “epic romantic drama film that blends elements of fantasy, history, spirituality, and science fiction”. Like, okay, sure, whatever dude. 4) Do you know where it was filmed at? >> I don’t, but I’m about to find out because that’s an interesting question. ...Ah! Montreal. 5) How old were you when you saw it? >> The first time I saw it was... probably not too long after it came out, so early 20s. I rented it from Netflix back when that was new and was a DVD-only service. I didn’t pay it a whole lot of attention at the time and was mostly confused by its storyline (I wasn’t as practiced at following nonlinear timelines and heavily allegorical plots back then). The next time I saw it was a whole different story and tbh that’s a frequent occurrence with me, which is why I always go back to rewatch/reread certain things later on in life.

Movie number two: Sunshine 1) Who’s an actress in this movie? >> Rose Byrne.

2) Out of 10 stars you’d give it? >> I mean, 10, I guess? It’s a top favourite of mine, so... 3) Did it have a surprise ending? >> No. I mean, it had a kind of weird twist for the climax? But the actual ending was kind of what you’d expect. 4) How long was it? >> 1hr 47min. 5) Did you first see it in theatres? >> Nope, but god, if only I could... Movie number three: Interstellar 1) What’s this movie rated? >> PG-13. 2) Did critics approve of it? >> If I recall correctly, yeah, it was pretty widely praised. Mostly for the, you know... Nolan-ness. 3) Who were you with when you saw it? >> Sigma and I went to see it, and then we went to see it again, and then we went to see it yet again, lmao. 4) Did this movie make you cry? >> Sure the fuck did, sure the fuck does. 5) Who are five actors/actresses in this movie? >> Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway, Michael Caine, Ellen Burstyn, Jessica Chastain. Movie number four: District 9 1) Is the main actor your favorite actor? >> No, but I generally enjoy watching Sharlto Copley in stuff. 2) Do you know how old he is? >> No, and that’s not a detail I care to look up. 3) Did this movie make you laugh? >> I mean, yeah, there were a few funny bits, mostly because Wikus is a fuckin dork sometimes. But mostly it was not a laughing matter. 4) Last time you watched it? >> Uhhh... hmm. Maybe a year or two ago? I tend to avoid it because it gives me way too many feels. This is a common thread with me and things I really have emotional attachment to -- you’ll notice I’ll find excuses not to rewatch or reread them because I’m afraid of my own feelings, lmao. 5) Are you the appropiate age to see it by yourself? >> Well, yeah? Movie number five: Requiem For a Dream 1) What made you mad about this movie? >> Nothing made me mad, exactly. That’s definitely not the emotion I feel when watching it. 2) Was it based on a true story? >> It might have been based on real things that happen to real people, but not in any concrete “this is historical fiction” sort of way. 3) Do you wish it was real in any way? >> I’m sure a lot of it is real for a lot of people... I definitely do not want my life to go in that direction, though. It’s very much a “pay attention to that hole in yourself before it consumes you” story for me. 4) So what’s it about, anyways? >> The intertwined stories of four addicts. 5) Did they make a video game out of this movie? >> That... would be disturbing as fuck and I would not play that, lol. Movie number six: mother! 1) Did this movie bore you at any time? >> Oh, absolutely not. I was on tenterhooks the entire time. I even had to pause it at one point so I could have an anxiety attack. (That was also the moment when I realised I was definitely going to rate it 5 stars on Letterboxd. Listen, it makes sense, I promise.) 2) Was there a kiss scene? >> Er, well, the main characters were romantically involved, so there was kissing. 3) Who was the protagonist (main character)? >> The Mother, I guess. I don’t remember what she was called in the credits or in director interviews or wherever (she doesn’t have a name in the movie, no one does). 4) Have you seen this movie more than once? >> Nope. I sometimes consider watching it again because I do feel the need to, but that’s an experience I have to really be prepared for and I feel like I’m never prepared, lol. 5) Last time you saw it? >> Uh... I want to say... a year ago? Movie number seven: The Prince of Egypt 1) What is this movie’s genre? >> Er... I guess, like, animation. Which isn’t a genre to me either, but hey. (Maybe “family” or “adventure”...?) 2) Are there any kid actors in this movie? >> Probably, since there’s a fair number of kids in this movie and I don’t think they were all voiced by adults... but hey, maybe they were. 3) Where did it all take place? >> It’s animated so it technically just takes place in a studio. But the movie’s setting is Egypt and thereabouts. 4) Who was the biggest star in the movie? >> Like, as in... most famous actor in it? I really couldn’t say, it’s an incredibly star-studded cast all around. 5) What year did it come out? >> 1998. It was the first-ever movie I saw in a theater! Movie number eight: Quills 1) Main actor and/or actress? >> Joaquin Phoenix and Kate Winslet. 2) Is this a one-time only movie? >> Like, it didn’t have any sequels or anything, if that’s what you mean. 3) Is it a sequel to anything? >> No. 4) How much money did it make? >> I don’t feel like looking that up. Probably not a whole lot. 5) Favorite part? >> Oh god, uh. I couldn’t even pick one. Any of the dialogue scenes between the Marquis and the Abbé, also any of the scenes where the Abbé is overcome with horniness lmfao. Movie number nine: Event Horizon 1) When did you first see this movie? >> 2005, when I was in a psych hospital. It was one of the only films they had on tape.

2) Did it take a second time for you to like it? >> Nope, I loved it immediately. And proceeded to watch it every day for like a month. I don’t know how anyone in there put up with me. (Everyone being overmedicated probably helped.)

3) Does it have a happy ending? >> It doesn’t. Most horror movies don’t, right? 4) Who would you recommend it to? >> People who love gory space horror, and especially space movies of that particular nineties variety, you know what I’m talking about. 5) What’s its theme song? >> It doesn’t have one. Movie number ten: Repo! the Genetic Opera 1) Do you still have the movie ticket? >> I didn’t see it in a theater. I had planned on seeing it at a Vampirefreaks sponsored theater event in SoHo, but the line was so long I gave up and went home. Ended up hating it when I finally did get around to watching it, and then watched it again like a year or so later and loooooved it. Funny how that happens sometimes. 2) Favorite part? >> Oh man, how could I even choose? Maybe the Thankless Job scene. Or Night Surgeon! Obviously I’m going to pick anything Nathan-centric, lol. 3) Were there any songs you knew in this movie? >> No, the songs were written for the movie. 4) A quote from this movie: >> I’ma get lazy and say “Zydrate comes in a little glass vial”, sue me. 5) Were the main actors/actresses a perfect match or not so much? >> Like... romantically? Wasn’t that kind of movie. But as far as how they interacted in general, it was a really fun cast. Random Questions 1) Which one have you seen most on DVD? >> Actually, the only one I recall ever watching on a DVD is The Fountain, because I rented it from Netflix. 2) Which one have you seen most in theatres? >> Interstellar (3 times). 3) Did your parents like any of them? >> The only one my father saw was The Prince of Egypt because he took me to see it, and he complained about the skin colour of characters (not dark enough for his liking) in the car on the way home. While I was just basking in the divine afterglow of having just seen something beautiful that had changed my tiny life. 4) Which one did you see with your best friend? >> Well, Sigma was my best friend at the time we saw Interstellar. 5) Would you see #1 again? >> I do rewatch it sometimes, but not very often. It’s a real emotional trip. 6) Is #4 a movie you can only watch every once in a while? >> Yeah, and I mentioned that in one of the answers. 7) Was #5 hard to understand? >> Only if you have a hard time keeping up with multiple character arcs. Or if you’re just completely clueless about the mental mechanics of addiction, maybe. 8) Did you see #2 the day it came out? >> I didn’t. 9) Do you have #3’s movie ticket still? >> I think I kept at least one of the tickets for a while, but I never keep that kind of thing for long. What I really miss is the posters we’d gotten at the Franklin Institute showing. Those were nice, and I’d looked forward to putting one up in a room of my own one day. :( 10) Are there any sequels to these movies coming out? >> Not that I’m aware of. 11) Does your best friend like #9? >> --- 12) Did #10 have horrible special effects? >> I wouldn’t say that. 13) Who directed #6? >> Darren Aronofsky. He directed three of these movies, actually. 14) Did #8 scare you? >> Nah, it wasn’t that kind of movie. 15) Does #7 have a better effect at night? >> No, lol.

#surveys #survey #movies survey

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shirlleycoyle · 5 years ago

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The Fleshlight Is a Portal to the Future of Sex

“It’s quite possible someone’s having sex with me right now and I don’t even know it,” adult performer and director Stoya told me.

Her vulva is for sale on the internet and in stores. Or rather, a rubbery, lifelike mold of her vulva is, in the form of a Fleshlight. The outside of it looks almost exactly like her actual body. The inside is a labyrinth of corkscrew shapes, nodules, and ridges. It’s dubbed “The Destroya,” a name that, nine years after the product launched, still makes her laugh.

Fleshlight manufacturer Interactive Lifeforms LLC has sold more than 75,000 Destroyas and more than 15 million Fleshlights total since the company started 20 years ago. It averages around 20,000 retail orders every month, according to a spokesperson for the company.

At around 1.63 pounds each, that’s nearly 24.5 million pounds of fucktoy floating around, taking up space in closets, nightstands, and under beds around the world.

The Fleshlight is an artifact of the sexually adventurous, technologically innovative 90s, but it’s become the face—and lips, and anus, and lips—of the male sex toy industry. The fact that a disembodied vulva and vaginal canal to jerk off into exists in 2019, the era of #MeToo and grabbed pussies and tabloid uproar over sex robots, shows the often contradictory intersection of sex and technology.

On one hand, the Fleshlight is a portal to new forms of sexual openness, allowing people, even those who think of themselves as heterosexual men, to engage in sex that moves away from old notions of gender and the biological body in general. On the other, the Fleshlight is also the reduction of a person to a replica of their reproductive organs. But 21 years since its inception, Fleshlight, the people who use them, and sex toy experts are realizing that maybe people don’t need an exact replica of a vulva or anus to get off. Sex toys are increasingly taking on more abstract, functional forms, and the future of the Fleshlight and toys like it may rely less on using replicas of disembodied genitals.

Today, the Fleshlight is polarizing even for the people who use it. No matter your opinion of the ubiquitous brand, it’s made an undeniable mark on human sexuality and the world.

Hundreds of years from now, if sentient life still exists on Earth, when archeologists dig up the still-intact bits and pieces of plastic casings containing rubberized genitalia, what will they think of the Fleshlight? Will it be considered an antiquated representation of how society literally objectified and commodifed sexual pleasure, or a turning point in the normalization of sex toys for all people, and our first step into a world where technology is an inseparable part of sex?

The answer, according to people who make them, use them, and are them, is both.

WHAT MAKES A FLESHLIGHT

The original Fleshlight model consists of a 10-inch plastic tube casing with a soft sleeve inside. You stick an erect dick (plus some water-based lube) into one end, grip ridges on the outside of the casing, and stroke the penis inside of the sleeve. You fuck the tube, come in the tube, then (ideally promptly) unscrew the whole apparatus and rinse it out with water (soap could degrade the material) and dry it.

Earliest archived version of Fleshlight.com, captured May 1998

Why the Fleshlight exists is a complicated story that’s become seminal sex toy lore. If the many interviews given by the company’s founder Steve Shubin are to be believed, the Fleshlight was born from his desire to get off while his spouse was pregnant.

In the late 90s Shubin, a former member of the Los Angeles Police Department’s SWAT team, and his wife Kathy were expecting twins. Both in their 40s, the couple was advised by doctors that because of their age and the fact Kathy was having two babies, the pregnancy was high-risk. He claims they were told not to have sex again until after the baby was born.

“I asked my wife ‘would you think I was a pervert if I told you there was something that I could use, sexually?'” Shubin told Wired in 2008. “But the adult store had only junk. Just crap. I thought, I can make something better, and took $50,000 of our savings to start working on it.”

Image from the 1997 patent filing for a “discrete sperm collection” device.

Shubin’s first patent filing, in 1995, was for a “female functional mannequin,” a hard sex doll torso. He called his next invention, which boiled the whole doll down to just the genitals, a “device for discreet sperm collection.” The proto-Fleshlight.

This version of the Fleshlight was pretty similar to what we see on the market today. But the description Shubin laid out in the 1997 patent filing was much more clinical. The product was framed as useful for sperm banks or doctors’ offices.

It also predicted some of the embarrassment many men feel from tucking a sex toy away in their own homes:

While my [sex doll] patent succeeds admirably in fulfilling the objects of that invention, it has several characteristics that prevent it from universal acceptance. When the torso mannequin is used in sperm banks, doctor’s offices, and other public facilities, it is sometimes intimidating to the patient being treated or may have an adverse effect upon the patient’s sexual desire and ability to deposit sperm. […] When the device of my patent is used in the home, or by those who find such a mannequin to be positive in nature, there is the concern that others will still find the object during a casual visit to the home.

The earliest version of Fleshlight.com that’s archived online, captured in 1998, shows a company attempting to carve a path as the first widely-accepted male sex toy by characterizing it as a requirement of virility, manliness, and insatiable sex drive. From an archive of Fleshlight’s “Our Philosophy” page circa May 1998:

The need for sexual gratification is as present and as powerful in a man as it is in the stallion. But where the stallion has no ability to wait, relentlessly pursuing his desire until he is satisfied or restrained, man has the ability to control his desires through fantasy… That release has to be done in a responsible way or we risk our relationships, expose ourselves to disease, take a chance with unwanted pregnancy, or even, in extreme cases, break the law.

The market, and we as a species, were primed for this thing to succeed. Hallie Lieberman, sex historian and author of Buzz: The Stimulating History of the Sex Toy, told me that artificial vaginas and sleeves date as far back as the 1600s—the first being Japanese masturbators made from tortoiseshell and velvet, she said. Artificial vaginas were sold in the U.S. as early as the late 1800s, she said, and Doc Johnson debuted the “pocket pal” in the late 1970s. Pocket pals look a lot like Fleshlights without the hard case around them (therefore, like long fleshy sandworms), and the labias themselves are a lot more realistic-looking compared to Fleshlights’ more smooth, almost cartoonish aesthetic.

Doc Johnson’s “Pocket Pal,” as seen for sale on Amazon.

When Fleshlight hit the market in the late 1990s, sex toys marketed to male customers still mostly consisted of “pocket pussies,” “those disembodied, often clunky looking artificial vaginas—sometimes with fake pubic hair,” Lynn Comella, associate professor of gender and sexuality studies at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas and author of Vibrator Nation, told me. “They were really kind of gross looking and for years, many women-friendly retailers, such as Good Vibrations, refused to carry them because they felt that displaying disembodied female body parts didn’t fit with their women-friendly vibe.” (San Francisco-based Good Vibrations became the first sex-positive, women-friendly sex shop in the U.S. in 1997.)

“Some Fleshlight designs actually depict women’s genitals beautifully, like a more commercialized version of a Georgia O’Keefe painting.”

Since time immemorial, men have been fucking whatever they can get their hands on, whether it be rubber gloves, toiler paper rolls, couch cushions, fruit, teddy bears, etc. A story about a Redditor who jerked off into a coconut, then later had his penis covered by maggots (he did it multiple times with the same coconut), has become treasured Reddit lore. There are also communities committed to exploring upscale DIY masturbators by refashioning Pringles cans, sponges, and building a better Fleshlight.

The Fleshlight arrived in a perfect pro-masturbation societal storm, Lieberman said: On the heels of the safe sex messaging of the 1980s AIDS crisis, in the midst of cultural landmarks like Seinfeld’s 1992 episode “The Contest” which grappled with masturbation both male and female, and as the White House forced Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders to resign in 1994 for suggesting masturbation should be taught in school. In the 90s, masturbation, for better or worse, was discussed more openly than ever.

Shubin couldn’t have happened into a better time to unveil a tasteful sex toy for penis-having people. But the Fleshlight founder’s reputation is controversial: he’s waxed nostalgic in interviews about his time as an aggressive LAPD cop, and the company’s Glassdoor reviews are generally abysmal.

In 2010, Stoya stopped by the Fleshlight headquarters in Austin, Texas before her mold was made, and described Shubin as a “mountain of a man” who normalized the absurdity that surrounded him.

“He was like, ‘We’re having a meetin’ about selling your vulva, in a can, in a box,'” she said. “It suddenly seems so reasonable and everyday when you’re talking, but you get back to regular life and it’s like, Ha, there are like 100,000 replicas of my pussy floating around.”

USER EXPERIENCES

When I went looking for Fleshlight users, nearly 200 people messaged me to voluntarily talk about their Fleshlight experiences.

“It felt a lot better than I thought it would, which kind of depressed me tbh,” one Fleshlight user told me. “Made me miss actual physical intimacy. Hence why I only used it like 5 times.”

I offered all of them anonymity in order to speak freely about their private, sexual experiences, and asked the ones who requested anonymity to explain why they didn’t want to be named. Almost all of them cited some element of social stigma or shame.

The overwhelming majority of these people were male-identifying. Many said they were lapsed Fleshlight or non-Fleshlight pocket pussy enthusiasts—guys who told me they’d been gifted a masturbation sleeve of some kind, years ago, or bought one on a whim, and used it once or twice before casting it aside again. Several cited the difficulty of cleaning the Fleshlight for why they don’t use it more.

At least three cited some hazing ritual in college, or sharing one pocket pussy with an entire group of male friends.

Several described feeling a sense of disgust with themselves after using it.

“Used it like 4 times, post nut clarity hit extra hard, & now it’s somewhere in my closet soaked in semen & dust,” said one person.

Almost everyone who spoke to me said the feeling of masturbating into a fake vagina is nothing like the real thing.

“They’re billed as lifelike, and they simply are not,” one said. “Of course! It’s a chunk of rubber at the end of the day. It’s not a bad thing, they feel good.”

A few men told me that they use Fleshlights due to physical disability, to increase stamina, or conditions that make it difficult for them to have sex otherwise. One said he bought his online when he was 22. Because he has cerebral palsy, finding sexual partners is difficult. A Fleshlight, he thought, would make imagining the experience more vivid.

“It was what I expected, but it was also more difficult to enjoy for me as my hand would cramp from using the plastic container thing it came with for extra suction,” he said. “As a disabled user, it allowed me the freedom and knowledge that sex toys were definitely for me! It helped me deal with some of the loneliness that I was experiencing.”

I also spoke with Dan Cooper, senior editor at Engadget, about his experience reviewing a Fleshlight Launch—the company’s digital product made with teledildonics company Kiiroo, that moves up and down on its own, in tandem with porn scenes. Cooper’s childhood phimosis (a condition that causes over-tightening of the foreskin) led to him needing a medical circumcision, which he said gave him limited sensitivity during sex or masturbation.

“Even as someone who thinks of themselves as sex-positive, I’ve always held the view that Fleshlights were a bit sad,” Cooper told me. “I’d assumed that they wouldn’t have worked with my broken genitals, but it was revelatory how effective (and fun) they are to use.”

A few wives and girlfriends told me why they bought their male partners Fleshlights as gifts. Their stories usually involved buying masturbators as a couple, to use while traveling or in long-distance relationships. Some said they were gifts to use during military deployments.

Karabella, a trans woman and porn performer, told me that she first encountered a Fleshlight in 2012, on her first big production shoot. “I’d never even heard of a ‘pocket pussy’ before, but [the director] pulled out a brand new one and handed it to me,” she said. “It wasn’t exactly inviting when I first slid into the butthole-shaped slit of cold silicone, so I initially started to lose my erection. However, as it began to warm up around me it was increasingly difficult to differentiate between it and real flesh.” Seven years later, using a Fleshlight has become a staple of her cam shows and performances.

HOW IT’S MADE

Beyond what’s publicly available on the Fleshlight website, specific details about the production of Fleshlights are a closely-guarded company secret. No one outside the company seems to know what the soft, skin-like material—trademarked as “Real Feel SuperSkin”—is made out of.

Kristen Kaye, Fleshlight’s Head of Business Development until late last month when she left the company, said that the material “is indeed proprietary.” She told me she believes it is biodegradable, and “made of natural materials, mostly.”

The closest I came to finding the secret recipe for SuperSkin was through the founder of FleshAssist.com, a website devoted to all things Fleshlight and masturbators. A 24-year old web developer who goes by the pseudonym John started FleshAssist in 2014 after years spent frequenting Fleshlight forums. He told me in an email that ever since buying his first name-brand Fleshlight at 20 years old, he was “hooked.”

John told me that SuperSkin, as far as he’s aware, is made from “amorphous polymers,” a mixture of PVC and silicone. It’s similar to CyberSkin, another type of thermoplastic faux-skin material used in lots of non-Fleshlight brand sex toys and dolls (but not patented, like SuperSkin).

“The trick with softer materials is that they will inevitably not feel as velvety or suede-y as harder silicone,” Emily Sauer, founder of sex wearable company Ohnut, told me. “So there is in the development of the product, there is a constant battle between, you know, does it feel too sticky? Does it feel gross in any way? There’s a very fine line.”

“The hand is just way easier. Boner. Hand. Done. It’s that simple.”

Micropores in the Fleshlight’s PVC make their “skin” more realistic to the touch, but also can never be fully, truly sterilized once it’s used. The top complaint I heard from all of the Fleshlight users I spoke to was that it’s too hard to clean to use regularly.

“That’s really gross to me that guys don’t even rinse them out right after, now I’m thinking about it,” Kaye said. “How hard it would be to clean…. If you were to let things dry in there, how disgusting that would be?”

After our call, I borrowed a friend’s (unused) Fleshlight to find out for myself. It’s relatively easy to unscrew the pieces and take apart, and there’s a hole in both ends of the removable soft sleeve to run water through it. As In Bed Magazine’s YouTube review notes, the most inconvenient part of cleaning is leaving it out to dry in the open long enough that you can safely store it without worrying about mold growing in a wet, airtight can—but not so long that your roommates or family stumble across a silicone worm with a vulva on the end of it.

“I think it just comes down to laziness, to be honest,” Kaye said about why people don’t regularly clean their Fleshlights.

According to my very informal online polling, she’s right.

“The biggest annoyance for me was the clean up,” Twitter user and self-proclaimed “vaginal aficionado” @BurlClooney said. Burl first heard about Fleshlight on an episode of Joe Rogan’s podcast, which had a partnership with the company from 2010 to around 2012, according to Rogan’s tweets at the time.

“Your semen goes down into a base at the bottom and you should really clean that shit immediately,” he said. “But, I usually just wanted to sleep right away and would leave it until the next day or I would forget until I next used it. It was absolutely fucking disgusting. The cum would turn a weird color and it was so gross to clean out then. However, I mainly stopped due to all the prep work. The hand is just way easier. Boner. Hand. Done. It’s that simple.”

BECOMING A ‘FLESHLIGHT GIRL’

Stoya told me she once fucked a man with a mold of her own silicone vagina.

“It was so like, bizarrely narcissistic, but kind of beautiful,” she said.

She’s featured in one of Fleshlight’s most popular product lines, the Fleshlight Girls. There are also Fleshlight Boys (anal molds), and Guys (dildos), all modeled after real porn performers’ anatomy. Fleshlight currently offers around 45 models of Fleshlight Girls, including Stoya, Riley Reid, Jessica Drake, and Kissa Sins.

“I was laughing and talking a lot, and they told me to be careful, because your asshole actually moves a little bit when you laugh.”

Becoming a Fleshlight Girl is a career goal for many in the industry. Kaye, who led the selection of Fleshlight models, told me that three or four years ago the performer’s popularity rank on Pornhub, for example, would have been a deciding factor. Now, she looks at a variety of metrics—social media following, engagement online, how entrepreneurial and invested they are in their own success.

As secretive as the SuperSkin material recipe is, the process of molding a real vulva into SuperSkin is kept even more tight-lipped.

Fleshlight Girl Elsa Jean told me that the process of getting her custom mold done involved going to the Fleshlight headquarters in Austin and having someone cast a mold of her vulva and anus. Fleshlight models’ genitalia are also photographed using a 3D camera, and the final mold is hand-sculpted by a professional artist to get the details as accurate as possible.

“For my butthole, I had to go into a doggy[-style position],” Jean said. “I was laughing and talking a lot, and they told me to be careful, because your asshole actually moves a little bit when you laugh.”

Once they’re finished making the silicone mold, the models are given the product to check out. When Stoya saw a Fleshlight modeled after her own anatomy for the first time, the first thing she did was text a handful of her former lovers a photo of the silicone vulva. They’d know, she reasoned, if it was realistically accurate. (They said it was.)

“It was a very like, holy shit moment,” Stoya said. “You feel a bit like an action figure.”

Models are paid in royalties instead of a flat fee. The more that sell, the more money they personally make. For Stoya, being recruited for a Fleshlight of her own was a springboard into independence in the adult industry. “It’s what’s enabled me to start independent porn companies like Zero Spaces,” she said. “It’s sold well enough that it gives me the extra resources to do creative things.”

“Having my vagina and butthole on sale for people is actually pretty amazing,” Jean said. “Believe it or not, it was one of my goals when I first started in the industry. It’s as close as they can get to having the real thing.”

The actual objectification—turning a woman’s body into an object—involved in making a custom Fleshlight has brought the company, and anatomically-correct masturbation sleeves generally, some criticism.

“I don’t think it’s objectifying,” Lieberman said. “In fact, I’d even say that some Fleshlight designs actually depict women’s genitals beautifully, like a more commercialized version of a Georgia O’Keefe painting.”

I asked Stoya how she feels about the objectification criticism, as someone who’s worked in the adult industry as an actor, director, writer and business owner. Is the idea that hundreds of men could be fucking “her” right now weird at all?

After all, hundreds of people could be jerking off to her porn right now, too—and isn’t that kind of the same? Not at all, she said.

“People like don’t give a fuck largely about who’s doing the fucking [in mainstream porn], who’s coming up with the fucking, but with a Fleshlight—someone has looked [for me],” she said. “And even if they don’t know who I am, or my work, or care who I am as a person? They’ve still chosen my vulva. And that’s qualitatively different.”

People choose the Stoya Fleshlight because they’ve seen her work, or read something she’s written, or even just read the description on the product page of her persona, she said—and liked what they saw enough to pay $79.95 to fantasize about fucking her.

“That feels really humanizing,” Stoya said. “Whereas seeing one of my videos pirated on Pornhub with a sentence in the description that says, ‘Don’t mention the performers name so she can’t find this and get this removed’? That’s really dehumanizing, and really separates you from your work. With the Fleshlight, it’s the opposite.”

THE STIGMA

As the woman charged with marketing a plastic pussy to the masses, Kaye had a big job. And a huge part of that job, she told me, is overcoming the stigma attached to masturbation sleeves, and the men who buy them. Kaye’s worked in the adult industry—in advertising, consulting, and marketing—for 13 years, but for the last three with Fleshlight, she’s made it her mission to drag that shame out from under men’s beds and bring masturbation tools into the light.

“Unfortunately, for men, there are stigmas attached to using a masturbation device… because for whatever reason, if a guy’s masturbating or talks about masturbating, it’s like they’re not getting laid,” she said.

“For cis-gendered males, revealing you have a fleshlight gives implications that you can’t ‘get a girl’ on your own, which inhibits the positive ramifications of using sex toys,” one anonymous user told me. “In reality, they can help people explore what satisfies them, and healthily masturbating can relieve stress or just clear one’s mind, at least in my experience.”

“I feel like a lot of men feel ashamed or embarrassed for using one, but when you’re having a dry spell or not getting laid often, it’s very beneficial,” Twitter user @g0dsparadise said. “I have given Fleshlights as gifts in the past, I have told my closest friends about it, and I am hoping that one day it becomes very common to own one just because this whole stigma is ridiculous to me.”

Some pointed out a percieved double standard between male and female-gendered sex toys. “There’s an interesting dichotomy,” Cooper said. He attributed it to women’s sex toys being seen as “luxurious” and respected, while men’s typically aren’t. “But it all drills back to the idea that we should somehow be ashamed of sex.”

FleshAssist founder John told me that while the stigma itself isn’t as bad as it used to be, it still exists.

“I saw a comment before that said something along the lines of ‘a dildo looks potent, it shows that a woman doesn’t need a man,’ making it a symbol of female independence and empowerment,” John said. “I think if we flip that around, and say ‘a man with a masturbator shows that he doesn’t need a woman’ it doesn’t have the same resonance at all.”

Liberman said that she has noticed this stigma, too—and that despite toys like Fleshlight in the mainstream, it hasn’t changed much. “I think that’s because men are supposed to be self-sufficient and not need additional tools to get off,” she said. “Their hands are supposed to be all they need.”

THE FUTURE OF FUCKTOYS

It’s possible that the Fleshlight and other toys like it are a decent oracle for the future of sex.

If the analog Fleshlight was a step toward destigmatizing male sex toys, its interactive, internet-connected iteration could help bring virtual reality sex to the mainstream.

Fleshlight’s Launch device syncs automatic, motorized movement with interactive porn content. It’s a Fleshlight sleeve inside a casing shaped and sized like a wine chiller that moves the sleeve up and down in rhythm with the porn it’s synced with.

Fleshlight isn’t the first sex toy to combine porn, virtual reality, and a connected device that syncs the two. Around the time the earliest adult-themed virtual reality films were revealed, in 2015, people started wondering if porn would be the thing to finally push VR into the mainstream.

Sex toys that interact with film and VR open new worlds of transcending what your physical, corporeally-limited body could experience. Companies like Camasutra exist today that scan real humans into avatars for fuckability in virtual worlds. There’s no limit to what you can embody, sexually, in these virtual environments.

“The porn and sex-toy industries have always led the way in technological innovation: from the electrification of the vibrator in the late 19th century to the early adoption of VHS by porn directors,” Lieberman said. “VR and the Fleshlight are just extensions of this trend that stretches back all the way to the printing press and erotic literature.”

She attributes this innovation to a need for something novel. Putting your dick inside a mechanized stroker-bot certainly is that, and Fleshlight, as it chases the interactive trend, knows it.

As our identities become more openly fluid and less binary, so do our toys. Ohnut, another wearable, doesn’t look like anything anatomical at all. Even the color, a pale jade, is meant to evoke a neutrality without being skin-like. Like Kaye, Ohnut’s founder Sauer also mentioned the concept of enhancement. “It’s not trying to replace skin. It’s not trying to replace a person or anything. It enhances,” she said.

Sauer points to Tenga, a Japanese company that’s been making disposable soft strokers and sleeves since 2005, as an example of where the industry could continue heading: Toward a less gendered, more pleasure-centered future of sex. One of their products, the Tenga Egg, is a handheld stroker shaped like a gummy, hollow egg, and they’re sold inside Easter egg-hunt-shaped packaging.

“They’re de-misogynizing the male masturbator,” Sauer said. “[Tenga products] are so delightful, but they’re just as dirty. They’re meant to be thrown away, but they come in really fun patterns. And what’s less masculine than a white egg?”

“I think that sex toys now are moving away from realism: the idea that a person would only want to masturbate with a replica of genitals is kind of going away,” Lieberman said. “People are more focused on both the utility of a device (does it give me an orgasm) and the design: they want something that looks beautiful.” She noted that the Eva II vibrator by Dame, and Unbound’s Bean and Squish are geometric—not dick or vulva-shaped.

Fleshlight is no exception to this trend. According to Kaye, the Fleshlight Turbo, a newer, non-anatomical sleeve, is creeping up in reviews. It looks nothing like human anatomy. It doesn’t even come in “skin” colors—only “Blue Ice” and “Copper.” (However, a helpful cross-section of the Turbo labels where you’re meant to imagine the lips, throat and tongue would be.)

Screenshot via Fleshlight.com

“I think marketing the other stuff—the stuff that’s not like, pardon my French, fucking a rubber pussy—that’s how we’ve transitioned our marketing approach,” Kaye said. “The exact replica of the genitalia? I think that’s kind of getting tired. I see that the younger people are more inclined to get the stuff that’s non-anatomical, that’s a little more discreet.”

“The idea that a person would only want to masturbate with a replica of genitals is kind of going away.”

“There’s more of an acknowledgement that many people don’t fit into the gender binary and our toys should reflect that,” Lieberman said. “I think that gender neutral sex toys are popular now because sex toys always reflect the culture of the time they’re created in; they reflect the current gender norms…. I think this shift in sex toy design to gender neutral reflects both a profit motive and a desire for inclusivity.”

For some companies, this might be an inclusivity effort, but for others, “it’s a response to the fact that inclusivity can be profitable,” Comella said. “A business that de-genders vibrators or ‘queers’ sex toys also expands its potential market reach by eliminating labels that don’t have to be there in the first place.”

But for those who still want the visual illusion of another person, Fleshlight isn’t going anywhere.

“That’s the thing to always keep in mind with the adult industry: It’s the business of fantasy,” Stoya said. “It’s like magic or professional wrestling. The audience who enjoys it comes in, ready to suspend their disbelief.”

Lieberman believes that lifelike sex toys impact our sexuality mostly for the good. If you want the feeling of fucking a penis or vagina or butthole without another person attached to it, that option is available to us, here in the future.

“I’m not sure that our society is that much different for having the Fleshlight in the world,” Lieberman said. “But our society is better when more people are having orgasms, and since Fleshlights provide orgasms, then our society is a bit happier thanks to the device.”

The Fleshlight Is a Portal to the Future of Sex syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

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nco05 · 6 years ago

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All the movies I watched in 2018 part 2

Continues on a previous post I made. Movies between 2014-2018 are in bold, older movies are in italics.

- Bratz: The Movie (2004): Mainly watched it for Janel Parrish. Fun movie, breaks some stereotypes too which is always fun!

- Death Race (2008): Action packed movie. Loved the plot-twist they did to overthrow the prison. A bit too explosive sometimes, but still fun.

- Incredibles 2 (2018): WORTH THE 14 YEARS OF WAITING! 20 year old me was as happy as 6 year old me was during the first one. Jack-Jack stole the show! Best animated movie of the year to me :)

- The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014): Okay movie. However I feel like Andrew Garfield was the least fitting to play Peter Parker; not playful enough, too casanova-like. Him and Emma Stone though had great chemistry.

- Ant-Man & The Wasp (2018): One of MCU’s best of the year tbh. Paul Rudd is so lovable and adorable! I really liked the character Eva Starr and her introduction! Wonder what will happen after Thanos’ snap.

- TATBILB (2018): Nice movie, well acted, great chemistry. Very teen-like mindset but teens are the target audience. Not lonely 20 year olds like me. Still entertaining as hell. Glad there’ll be a sequel.

- The Spy Who Dumped Me (2018): Loved the chemistry between Mila and Kate the best. Then the acting. Funny movie and relatable reactions to espionage issues enforced on civilians.

- Venom (2018): Decent movie. It showed a different side to the Venom I knew. A more morally grey side instead of black and white. Tom Hardy killed it as Eddie/Venom.

- A Simple Favor (2018): Plot twist movie wow. Very good movie!

- The Book Of Life (2014): The animation made it adorable. I liked the story. Also funny movie. Learned a bit more about the Mexican holiday Dia De Los Muertos, which was nice.

- The Nutcracker and The Four Realms (2018): Good movie, well animated, decent chemistry. I liked it, a bit underrated in my opinion.

- Speed (1994): Aka I thirsted over Keanu’s arms and face way more than deemed appropriate. Can you blame me though? Man had bod. Cool movie. Sandra Bullock as Annie was very relatable too. I kept singing “Annie are you okay?” in my head.

- Wreck-It Ralph (2012): Nicely animated, cool storyline!

- El Bar (2018): Watched it for Blanca Suarez. Well acted, decent chemistry. However, incredibly male-gaze... I wanted to jump through the screen and shake some of those men.

- The 5th Wave (2015): I’m going to say it, Evan was creepy. I hated his and Cassie’s “love-story”. It was very stalker-ish to me. The chemistry between Chloë and Nick was very good, despite sharing like 4 scenes. Happy Cassie reunited with her brother.

- Aquaman (2018): Couldn’t have found a better Arthur than Jason Momoa. Decently acted, chemistry wise good. However too much of a clusterf**k with 3 storylines in a movie of 2 hours. Sometimes a bit cliché. It was still a fun movie to watch.

- Wreck-It Ralph 2: Ralph Breaks The Internet (2018): There were details in every scene of the movie! It was breath-takingly awesome. Loved the bits about the friendship between Ralph and Vanalope! Very rarely is a sequel better than it’s prequel and this movie is like that. Also those pop-up ads? Relatable as heck! And yeah Adblocker is rude but it rules ;) I’m going to see it again once it’s on Netflix since I saw the Dutch dub and in translation a lot of the jokes get lost. Still enjoyed it however! Second best animated movie but it’s close behind Incredibles 2.

- The Mask Of Zorro (1998): The movie is good. It’s the soundtrack however that makes the movie so remarkable to me. Also the chemistry between Antonio Banderas and Catherine-Zeta Jones is insanely electric and worked very well.

- Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (2018): I hope we get more stuff like this! It was very innovative and interactive! I really liked the performances of Fionn Whitehead as Stefan Butler and Will Poulter as Colin Ritman. It’s clear as day this is a Black Mirror product, since I felt the same unease during this movie as I did with the 2 episodes of the show I watched.

#bratz: the movie #death race 2008 #incredibles 2 #the amazing spider-man 2 #ant man & the wasp #to all the boys i've loved before #the spy who dumped me #venom movie #a simple favor #the book of life #the nutcraker and the four realms #el bar #the 5th wave #aquaman #ralph breaks the internet #the mask of zorro #black mirror: bandersnatch

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brastrangled · 6 years ago

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2, 12, and 33 (gimme that salt lol)

2. Your most rewatched movie

So I have several that I rewatch way too much.

Beauty and the Beast always and forever I watch too much. I love it so much, I can quote it pretty much word for word.

Cinderella 2015 is definitely up there now thanks to how much I use it to fall asleep. I can also quote it pretty much word for word.

Captain America The Winter Solider is another life changing one. You can check my tag for it to know how thirsty it makes me. Or ask Nael. When we movie date it I am always screaming about my love of Sam and Steve. The poetic cinema of all the fight scenes. How this movie makes me like Natasha but mourn for Sharon. How Fury is That Bitch™.

Parent Trap 1998 was honestly life changing for 5 year old me. I can quote it so easy and I'm very sure that my personality was shaped by Hallie and Annie. Especially Hallie. I can rewatch it so many times without ever getting bored really.

12. Top 5 favorite female performances

Amy Adams as Giselle (Enchanted)

Top forever. My life was literally changed for the better when I watched Enchanted. I embraced my love of princesses unapologetically and my adoration of Disney history skyrocketed more than it already had been. I just love Amy so so so so much thanks to this movie. She's such a breath of fresh air.

Lily James as Ella (Cinderella)

Another life changer for me tbh. I've always loved Cinderella stories but something about Lily as Ella was just so perfectly timed for me. I loved how much respect she had for the character while still making it her own. To this day I'm still so affected by the movie that I have fanfiction ideas in my head as I watch it. Thanks to Lily I fell in love with rping as Cinderella and I truly don't know where I'd be without this movie to keep me sane.

Vivien Leigh as Scarlett O'Hara (Gone With the Wind)

I absolutely fucking love GWTW and everyone who wants to tell out it's racist can eat my hairy ass. I FUCKING KNOW IT IS. Anyway, Viven absolutely fucked me up when I finally watched this movie in full. Oh my god is her unapologetic bitchiness such a fucking inspiration. I wish I was more ambitious like her, but I can definitely be conniving and whiny and pushy and materialistic. Like fuck. I will always love Scarlett.

Also shout out to Hattie McDaniel as Mammy. I will always love and appreciate Hattie for all she did.

Constance Wu as Rachel Chu (Crazy Rich Asians)

So this is a new one since I only just finally watched the movie last weekend. But wooooooooow this movie is an absolute fucking delight. Constance just really inspired me. She was strong and but still able to show vulnerability and love. Her looks of longing and love with Henry Golding as Nick? Iconic. Inventors of love.

Also my heart and love to Gemma Chan as Astrid!!! Please kill me in the sequel angel!!!

I have wracked my brain for hours but I don't want to use anyone from an animated film so I'll just go with 4. I suck I'm sorry cupcake.

33. Last movie that disappointed you

I just let out the deepest fucking sigh.

Avenger Infinity War

Unpopular opinion time. I fucking can't stand this movie. It's so goddamn fucking bloated. It follows Thanos and tries to make me sympathic or empathetic towards him and I fucking hate it. I want this Barney wannabe to be fucking dead y'all. I hate how much screentime Tony is given. It's basically the Tony show and I'm not into it. I like the Guardians but in the movie I wasn't into them. I didn't watch Thor: Ragnarok but I feel like the Stormbreaker shit really undermined the character growth he was supposed to have from the movie. The CGI made me nuts (but Marvel CGI has been downgrading for years now). Poor Banner was so screwed over.

Also fuck Peter Quill. I hate Peter Quill.

I don't appreciate the disrespect towards my man Sam Wilson. Why didn't Steve see him dusted????????????????? just ugh.

AND I'LL NEVER FORGIVE THIS BULLSHIT CAMPAIGN FOR MAKING THIS MONEY SHOT AND IT HAVING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MOVIE. THAT'S STILL PISSING ME OFF A YEAR LATER.

For things I liked: Steve Rogers was truly Daddy™ in this movie and I will throw my panties at the screen during his entrance every single fucking time.

So yeah besides that I hate this movie. I love the girls (except Nat, who the fuck allowed ScarJo to use her natural hair for Nat being on the run???) but I get so mad that I can't deal.

Sorry this took so long. Easter and the lack of luck with a 5th female performance.

#ellie answers #valenciaperez #ranting cupcake #ask: mun memes

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xuhoon · 7 years ago

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hey man another tag woohoo

also i told some of yall that i would take selfies yesterday and i did not! lol dw i still look the same

ok!! here we go!! thank you lovely @merryoonhaan for this fun tag! i gave my babies love from youuuu

Ultimate Bias: Seventeen - JIHOON!

Ultimate Wrecker: well, you see... :) leader line plus kwan and hao make up my top 5 and then out of NO WHERE wonu is like STAN ME BINCH so here i am, accepting the fate of that

Ultimate Group: SVT

Favourite Song: i actually dont think i can do this, like that isnt fair... every day boom boom

First Song: Probably Dope by BTS ngl, like at least for me becoming a stan. my first kpop song in general was Married To The Music but that was before my obsession by about 2 years ish

First Bias: Namjoon from BTS and he remains but i accepted that i triple bias for them so whatever hahaha

Hard or Soft Stan: see, i love all my soft babies but i also want to, if the universe permit, date them. like i know it isnt going to happen but i can dream

Favourite Ship: i try to ship platonically but then they do gay shit and im like YES TRUE LOVE cough verkwan ahaha

Favourite Album/Single: gotta love the latest, but Going Seventeen holds a nice top shelf thank you boom boom era

Favourite Company: i dont have one, since i stan groups from different ones lol (pledis svt, bighit bts, fantagio astro, jyp day6 etc)

Favourite MV: Don’t Wanna Cry because it was filmed in LA and ive been to some of those spots~~ come back soon!!

Favourite Live Stage: tbh! idk man!

Favourite Fashion Sense: this is a tough one because svt does so well aha... ill go with Sanha because he’s so cute and soft in whatever he wears!! 95% leg bb

Favourite Hairstyle: give me blond hoon again. now.

Closest To Your Age: i looked it up becasue i didnt actually know. out of the groups i. stan i was thinking it was Dino or Rocky because im 4 mo older than them. It just so happens to be Rena from Pristin (Oct. 19, 1998), who is 5 days older than i am!

How You Got Into Kpop: emi: “hey stan bts” me: “ok!”

lol you already know!! this is totally one sided and i wish i could do them separately for the different groups i stan??? keep tagging me in stuff i love it

i tag @sanhatation @himeaegyo @jihoonhui @myungho and @spring-day6 !! love you guys <3

#tag meme!#me post aha #it me

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lieutenantbatshit · 7 years ago

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the metal gear solid legacy.

what i’m going to talk about is a video game franchise -- the video game i loved the most, and made a big impact in my life. this franchise made me learn about the effects of war, teamwork, and a lot more things (i couldn’t put it in words, there’s a lot that i learned about this franchise!).

the story line of this franchise will get you hooked up. i won’t tell the whole story line of this franchise because honestly, explaining the story line would take me an hour or so to explain (or even a day!) for you to understand the whole story line, so it’s best if you play the franchise itself.

first, i’ll give you a list of what made hooked in this franchise, and the best parts in this franchise.

SOUNDTRACKS!!! - i swear to the boss, the soundtracks of each games in this franchise makes me so emotional. these soundtracks got stuck in my head while playing these games (i even want to sing every soundtrack on stage).

easter eggs - the easter eggs in this franchise were hilarious, especially the johnny part and ~ posters ~, if you know what i mean.

the one where they let you view their perspective by clicking “R1″ (i used PlayStation my whole life so i don’t know much about Xbox).

truth to be told, the snake family, big boss, liquid snake, and solid snake (yeah let’s add solidus snake), are actually attractive. admittingly, when big boss has an eye patch, he looks sexier than he was before. okay, this may be getting out hand, but i can’t help but have a big crush on them. i even have a crush on EVA, The Boss, Quiet, and Meryl! i’m pretty damn sure every gamer has a gay crush on every character in a video game they play.

yeah, that’s all the lists i could come up to. i know there’s a lot, but i can’t put them into words, they’re too good.

anyway, let’s head on to the main point. what do i think of all the games in this franchise? what are the best parts in every game in this franchise?

i could give you a list my fave games, and writing this excites me.

Metal Gear

tbh, i don’t really know much about this game. i only played the first part in this game because it was kinda hard for me. i played this on my PS3, i guess i just wasn’t familiar with the controls in this game. this was originally played in a MSX2, and i’ve never gotten my hands on one before, so yeah.

Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake

all i know about this game is Solid Snake in Zanzibar Land. just like Metal Gear, i only played the first part. i also played this on my PS3 since the game we bought, Metal Gear Solid HD Collection, also have it inside but they can only be accessible in one of the games in the collection, Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.

Metal Gear Solid

I never got the chance to play this game since this game was released in 1998 and it was originally played in PS1. i watched the gameplay in youtube instead, thank god for youtube. this game was remastered as Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes, where the graphics improved and the game could be playable in PS2. when the graphics improved in PS2, i was excited to see liquid’s face since i was curious on how he looked in an improved way, and boy, guess who just had a crush on him? me. (his accent are plus points.) the original game can be now playable in PS3, it’s either you buy the game on PlayStation Store or buy the legacy collection in a video game store. solid snake’s character was so flirty in this game, and you could feel the love between solid snake and meryl.

Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty

there comes raiden! actually, this is the first metal gear game that i played. i played this when i was like 5 or 6 or 7, and i gotta admit, it was hard for me at first. but when i was like 11 or 12, i finally found no difficulty in playing the game. it made me understand the story line more about this game. the VR missions in this game are also my favorite. i usually play that part whenever i finish the whole game. there’s also a demo theater (fun fact: you could achieve a trophy in this game while watching Rose and Raiden have a sword fight, which Solidus and Raiden are the original characters there) where you could watch some cutscenes from the game and you could change the characters, if you wish to.

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater

the one that started it all! there goes the camouflage and foods (and by foods, i mean snake eats animals from the jungle). he is guided through radio by major zero, the boss (who defects to soviet union in the gameplay), para-medic, sigint, and later by EVA throughout the game. the easter eggs in this game were hilarious as hell. the radio conversations with para-medic were fun to listen to, especially when they about movies. sigint was also fun to talk to, you’d always get into a funny conversation with him. oh and boy, don’t get me started with EVA. who later becomes the lover of snake throughout the series. the boss was such a badass! she deserved better though.

WHAT A THRILL~ SNAKE EATEEEEEEER~

Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

this is probably the saddest game i’ve ever played, and also one of the best. all remaining characters who are still alive were all here. playing this game will give you nostalgia if you’ve been playing the MGS Series for a long time. (spoiler: solid snake or should i say, old snake, goes back to shadow moses.)

i won’t leave some more spoilers, it’s better if you play the game itself.

Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker

i didn’t finish this game, honestly. it was still hard for me. i’m stuck on a mission where big boss would defeat the pupa flying around the sky. i always run out of supplies. but the game is great, i gotta say. i don’t know much about this game honestly, but i’ve watched some cutscenes in youtube.

Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes

i also don’t know much about this game, but i’ve watched some cutscenes in youtube. i think this a good game, even though the voice of snake was changed. nothing beats to david hayter’s voice as snake’s voice, honestly. however, kiefer sutherland did a good job, i’m just disappointed how big boss didn’t speak that much through MGSV and there was no codec.

Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain

same with mgsv: ground zeroes. i only know about big boss’ phantom, i also watched some cutscenes in youtube. there were some feels in this game, especially when zero visited big boss in a hospital when big boss was in a coma for nine years. overall, i think the game is great. i’d play this game if we’d buy PS4.

here are my fave soundtracks from all the metal gear franchise.

“The Best Is Yet To Come” - Rika Marunaka (MGS1)

Metal Gear Solid Main Theme (MGS2)

Can’t Say Goodbye To Yesterday - Carla White (MGS2)

Snake Eater - Cynthia Harrell (MGS3)

“METAL GEAR SOLID” Main Theme (MGS3)

Old Metal Gear (MGS3)

Sailor (MGS3)

Salty Catfish (MGS3)

Don’t Be Afraid - Elisa Fiorillo (MGS3)

Pillowtalk (MGS3)

Surfing Guitar (MGS3)

Way To Fall - Starsailor (MGS3)

Debriefing (MGS3)

Calling To The Night - Natasha Farrow (MGS:PO)

Old Snake (MGS4)

Love Theme - Jackie Presti (MGS4)

Metal Gear Saga (MGS4)

Heavens Divide - Donna Burke (MGS:PW)

The Man Who Sold The World - Midge Ure (MGSV)

Sins Of The Father - Donna Burke (MGSV)

Quiet’s Theme - Stefanie Joosten (MGSV)

there would be one day where i won’t communicate with other people because i’m busy playing my fave franchise ever, Metal Gear.

that’s a lot for now. thanks for taking your time to read this. this sure is long.

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