#my man dirth

[seeker-ophelia]

Hjmmmk I have more big feelings about this so prepare yourselves:

#Long Post

Grab Your Tin Foil Hats, Kids!

OK lets REALLY break this down.

Ancient Elven Writing “His crime is high treason. He took on a form reserved for the gods and their chosen, and dared to fly in the shape of the divine. The sinner belongs to Dirthamen; he claims he took wings at the urging of Ghilan'nain, and begs protection from Mythal. She does not show him favor, and will let Elgar'nan judge him."

This guys name is now Sinner.

Sinner commits “high treason.”

What high treason is, gets explained – it is “taking the form of the divine” – we believe this to be turning into a dragon.

*What the verbiage “The Divine” means can be interpreted one of 2 ways:

A) the divine meaning a divine shape, a shape that is common to all of those that are divine (the Evanuris), OR,

B) The Divine, like the shape is unique to The Divine (title), like only Mythal can turn to a dragon.

Either way…

You would THINK

That a FOLLOWER OF DIRTHAMEN, God of KNOWLEDGE, would KNOW, that he is NOT ALLOWED to turn into a dragon, regardless of whether it is the shape of the Gods (plural), or a Mythal-only shape.

Let’s analyze THIS line:

He… begs protection from Mythal. She does not show him favor, and will let Elgar'nan judge him."

Why, why would it say she does not show him favor? If he took the shape of the Gods (plural) in vain, its literally her job to judge him.

Codex entry: The Judgment of Mythal Whenever one of the People wronged another, they would not call on Elgar'nan to avenge them, for his fury would destroy all it touched. Mythal saw this bring strife among the People, and went to Elgar'nan; she offered to deliver justice when the People warred amongst themselves. Elgar'nan saw her wisdom and agreed, binding all to abide by her verdicts.

But she denies Sinner judgement, implying either; the offense to her is so great she cannot stand it (Option B), or she cannot show him favor because she already favors him for some other reason and so would not be a fair judge.

Either way, she hands him over to the guy who is going to judge him too harshly.

So, what does dear old dad Elgar do? One would think the crime for high treason would be death. What’s a punishment worse than death?

Well, if we’re talking about Option B (offending Mythal), How about a lifetime of servitude?

Let’s remember that there are statues of wolves everywhere in the temples, they were not a late addition, Solas did not become the wolf after all the gods were gone, he became the wolf while everyone was still around. He became The Trickster ™ after the fall of the Gods. And if you look at where the wolves are in temples and such, they’re at the entrances, like a guard.

What if Elgar decides to rip Sinner from his servitude to Dirthamen, and instead binds him to the service of Mythal, the Goddess he offended so greatly she couldn’t do her job. Tear off Dirth’s vallaslin, and slap on one for Mythal. Its not so much about shape changing, because if Pride was Wisdom, he can do that on his own (Pride demon eyes=fen’Harel eyes). It is about changing ones purpose. Maybe Elgarnan gave him Purpose. Or Protection. Or Command. Or Faith (in Mythal). Or Justice. But whatever he cursed/gifted Sinner (Wisdom) with, it changed his purpose and that spirit manifested as a solas-fen, fen’harel.

Maybe he’s even stuck in wolf form, he can’t change out of it, and follows Mythal around like a puppy for a few hundred years before she decides he might be more use to her as a full elf.  

I think that the line “she does not show him favor” is really important here, because it will mean one of two things. My option B, where Solas was some random slave and took the form of Mythal-Dragon, or Option C, he was already important to her.

Option C we just simply cannot explore right now. We don’t know how they met, we know they were close, we don’t know Solas’s origin story.

But.

It is interesting where we get this codex, IN Mythals temple. This Codex entry is found in Ancient Elvhen Glyphs (revealed via veilfire) to the right side of a statue of Mythal. We can only decode it if it is the Inquisitor who drinks from the well.

SideBar: Abelas tells us Fen’Harel had nothing to do with “Mythal’s murder,” “She was betrayed by those who destroyed this temple.” Solas says, Ma'las 'a'melin ne ha'lam, Abelas. I hope you find a new name. Maybe names are like curses, placed upon ancient elves with their vallaslin, as Solas (Pride), knows only too well. Or maybe, the naming-people-for-their-backstories is a Mythal thing.

The Codex glyphs are found on the wall to the right of a statue of Mythal - mythals left side. The Left Hand of Mythal.

Hm…

Left Hand of the Divine If the Right Hand of the Divine is her blade in hand, then the Divine's Left Hand is the one concealed in her sleeve. The Left Hand is the Divine's shadow agent who enforces her will through methods that might otherwise blemish the Divine's name.

The Left Hand of the Divine. The shape of the divine.

I don’t know. Co-winkey-dink?

I don’t knooowwww.

Can it also be a coincidence that the reward for completing The Temple of Dirthamen is a shield called Dirthamen’s Wisdom?

I don’t knoooowww.

wolf form thots

this is old news but ive been thinking about this awhile. the general hairlessness/mangey look of solas' wolf form that we saw forever ago in that one trailer reminds me of how the werewolves looked in DAO (save for the werewolves not having tails). like based on this img it seems like the wolf form has hair on its head/face and then has either shorter fur or no fur on the rest of it (save the tail, which we can't see in this pic but 99% sure solas has it b/c of the murals)

and then the cursed werewolves had a fur pattern like this

i just wonder if there's any relation, if the nature of solas' wolf form is similar to their curse (some people theorized ghilan'nain may have cursed solas with the form but i can't remember who/when/where), or if its the other way around and their curse mirrors fen'harel's visage in some way because of Zathrian's (and the dalish's) view of him?

its interesting also b/c the curse is tied to a spirit (witherfang) and theres a lot of speculation about solas originally being a spirit/demon. solas phd havers is this anything

[skywing206]

Something something Battle and Chase

[in-death-we-fall]

Knot On Your Life

Record Collector #266 — October 2001

Slipknot’s recent Iowa album entered the UK album charts at No. 1 — unprecedented for a nu-metal band. Drummer Joey Jordison waxes highly lyrical

(google drive link)

Slipknot’s second proper album, Iowa, was the most eagerly-awaited rock record of 2001, and both critics and fans of the masked nine-man band from Des Moines weren’t surprised when it crashed straight into the charts at the top spot in early September. But to anyone not familiar with the crushing music of this most uncompromising of groups, the sudden glut of media appearances that followed this triumph might seem strange, to say the least. After all, these are people who urinate on stage, offer fans the chance to inhale from rectally-inserted tubes and regularly vomit onto their audiences.

Despite the band’s fearsome reputation, drummer Joey Jordison was on relaxed form as he chatted to RC from his Mid-Western home. In fact, he was willing to provide an opinion on most subjects — so RC fed him a topic, and off he went. If only all interviews were this easy, eh?

A Night In With The Knot

All round to Joey’s…

Imagine you’ve invited us to a party round at your house. What tunes would you play for us? If I’m having a party I don’t really play much metal — because the chicks get more naked if you play something light. Old Bee Gees, or Michael Jackson’s Off The Wall, they’re all good party albums

I read once that you’re into the Cars and Fleetwood Mac. Oh, yeah. The Cars — I really like their Candy-O record, man, it was one of those records that really broke New Wave in America. They were one of the first bands to use the fuckin’ New Wave keyboards in their music, man.

The one-finger thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally! Like ‘Let’s Go’ with that cheesy line that they use, but it’s so infectious. We played it before a show one time — we cranked that entire song through the PA right before we hit the stage. The kids were so fuckin’ loud and pissed off! They thought we were gonna cut the cong but we played the whole damn thing (laughing), just to irritate them.

What about a bit of dance or hip-hop? I like the new Ludicrous record. And chicks often get naked when we play that new Nelly CD for some reason (laughs). I also like the Wu-Tang Clan and Ol’ Dirth Bastard’s solo stuff, and of course old Public Enemy, and the old NWA stuff. I’m much more into the old school — I don’t listen to any of that current shit.

Did you ever get into any grunge at all? For a little bit, although I was pretty strictly devoted to metal. I really can’t stand Pearl Jam though — I’ve never been a fan of them. Alice In Chains was always a metal band in hiding, with a grunge umbrella. Soundgarden’s Badmotorfinger was phenomenal, too.

What about Faith No More? A band I still devote a lot of respect to. Faith No More really turned things around for me — The Real Thing really shaped my awareness of musical styles and using them tastefully. Mike Patton is probably the most talented musician and visionary I’ve ever heard in my life.

Most people might also be surprised to hear that I’m really into glam shit too, in my other band, the Rejects (chuckles).

What — Bolan and Bowie? More like the New York Dolls and Hanoi Rocks, but it’s all good music.

Do you dress up in the appropriate manner on stage? Make-up, lipstick? Yeah, we do. It depends on the mood. But like the famous song said, though, just because I wear make-up doesn’t mean that I can’t kick your ass!

The morning after the party, what mellow tunes would you play for us? Let me check my current crop of albums. I’d probably actually wake you up with some Amen. ‘We came here to fuck you!’ That rules, dude. I love that band.

An unlikely pairing: (above) the Cars, whose ‘cheesy’ synth lines do it for Joey, and (below) the Bee Gees, for whom ‘the chicks get naked’, dude.

Gloom And Doom

The murky depths of extreme metal explored…

The introduction of Iowa’s first song, ‘People = Shit’, is pure Morbid Angel. Fuck yeah! If you’re gonna pay tribute to something, pay it to a band that kicks ass. My favourite Morbid work is Blessed Are The Sick — I think it’s untouchable.

Altars Of Madness was really cool, too. Fuck, that’s old school, man, that’s going back. I think they really came into their own around the time of Domination, when they started using the seven-string guitars.

What other metal bands are you into? I also really like Raging Speedhorn, and I gotta say Immortal’s Damned In Black is one of the finest black metal releases ever.

I thought In The Heart Of Winter was better. Yes, that fucker too — all Immortal is great. They’re one of the prime black metal bands of all time.

Have you got Slayer’s new album, God Hates Us All? Yes — it’s phenomenal.

‘Payback’ is a great song. (sings line from song) Payback, you bitch motherfucker! (sniggers)

Do you like Nile? I love Nile. Black Seeds Of Vengeance — I love fuckin’ Nile! They rule, man.

Poppin’ Out

Joey talks Britney

It’s a good time to be into metal, isn’t it? Look at it this way. Metal always stays here, it’ll never go away, because of the legions of devoted fans, man, they never go anywhere. They are always fucking gonna be there. The music will never go away. It’s been tested time and time again.

On the other hand, cheesy pop like Britney Spears and N’Sync has got a lot stronger at the same time, don’t you think? That’s very true, it’s a good point. Those bands are really big sellers for their labels. They’re all geared towards MTV; then MTV is geared to the kids; the kids bitch at their parents constantly, and then they go out and buy the record.

Sometimes these kids don’t know any better, they don’t know you can go out and get into the underground tape-trading scene, because they’re fed that shit over fuckin’ television. Which is a drug in its fuckin’ self.

We wanna turn these kids on. A lot of them have heard Korn and Limp Bizkit, but they’ve never heard a blastbeat. It’s great that we can turn them on to the underground — like a kid might never have heard of Morbid Angel, and might think that I’m the first guy to ever do a blastbeat and double bass. Which isn’t true.

Is it strange when Slipknot are included in the same nu-metal category as bands like Limp Bizkit and Korn? No. I can’t bitch about it because we are in that nu-metal group. We do have elements of the nu-metal sound, but the fact is, you can tell we come from a place that is more genuine and way more old-school than that.

Grrr!

Reasons to be angry

At the Ozzfest, Corey (Taylor, Slipknot singer) said ‘We’re going to kill everyone in the rock music industry’. Is the relationship between the band and the business really so bad? He’s always talking about that. A lot of the press — obviously not you, because you know what you’re talking about — when we were done with our first record, they said that there was no way we could top it, and were already slagging the second record. And then there’s the fuckin’ leeches that fuckin’ steal money, and the people that misquote you, and people that start fuckin’ bad rumours — and before you know it there’s a whole new list of problems that come with fame.

I’ll gladly take those problems because this is what I’ve wanted since I was five years old, but (getting annoyed) it doesn’t mean that it fucking doesn’t fucking totally fucking goad men, and totally fucking brings me to a fucking boiling point … (tails off in incoherent rage, then takes a deep breath and calms down). So a lot of those things came out, and we had a lot of personal issues when we were on the road. And we;re doing non-stop shows, so every day there’s something going on.

Havin’ It Large

Party on!

Didn’t you go drinking a lot with Casey Chaos when you were on tour together? Yeah, we do these drinking matches. I always lose. I got him one time, though. It took him a while, but he finally got fucked up and fell down the back of this bus — and Casey Chaos never pukes, ever, but he threw up this time.

I sobered up really quickly after I pissed myself in my bunk, and I came back out and I’m like, I’m ready to go again! But he had to go to bed. I may have fallen down first, but I came back for the second round. That’s been the only time.

Can you still get up and play the drums when you’ve got a sickening hangover? Oh, absolutely, dude. I’ve done it a million times. I’m not necessarily proud of it. But when the mask goes on and I fuckin’ slip into the fuckin’ boiler suit, something just happens to me, man. Everything goes away, and it’s all about us and those kids for that hour.

The Past

The bad old days…

Do you ever listen to Slipknot’s demo album, Mate. Feed. Kill. Repeat? I never ever listen to it. I’m very proud of where we come from, man, and I’ll never forget where we come from, but … that was a totally different band back then, you know, and it’s not the same.

Did you know that people are paying over £150 in this country for original copies of MFKR, if they can find them? (shocked) Christ almighty. God damn, man … they must really like the band.

It’s a lot of money to pay for someone’s demo. Or do you regard the album as more than just a demo? It’s kind of a glorified demo. It’s glorified in that it sounds really good for a demo — it’s produced really well. But there’s only six people on that record, Corey’s not the lead singer, the guitar players are different — you know, the only original members are me, Shawn and Paul on that.

The first Knot guitarist, Donnie Steele, famously left the band after a religious conversion. Yes. He was like, I found God and this band is not for me.

Even though he’d been in Anal Blast and Body Pit beforehand — two extreme grindcore bands? I guess not. He really wasn’t down with the mask thing either — when it came up he was like, I can’t do that. So I thought, hmm, OK, you’re probably not gonna work out.

Then there was Cuddles … (yawns) Yes … … but maybe I won’t go into that? Don’t. We never talk about that guy (drummer Cuddles, a member of the band from 1997-8, is alleged to be suing Slipknot at the time of writing).

The Future

What lies ahead

You once said that Slipknot is just too intense a band to survive more than a couple of albums. I get asked about that in every interview I do. But it’s cool, because it’s the truth. I think if the band broke up right now — you can call this ego, call it what you want — we might even have some kind of legendary status.

You mean, if you stopped at the peak of your form, before it got stale? Yes, like the Sex Pistols did. They did it right, man, they didn’t fuckin’ let themselves become parodies. And that’s what we plan to do with this band, once I know it’s not working. Because of all the hurt in the band, and the fact that there’s nine of us, I think if it went on too long, it would become a parody, man.

Will your records keep getting heavier and heavier, as they have so far? Well, lots of bands say their next record is gonna be the heaviest one ever, but they’re full of shit. They just say this so their fans will go out and buy it. But I can’t do that to my fans, man, because they’re the ones that got me here, y’know.

Interview by Peter Smith. Many thanks to Michelle Kerr at Roadrunner.

[seeker-ophelia]

OK my dear, I am liking the way this tin foil hat is fitting.

Lets make some assumptions:

Solas was a spirit, became a person/elf, was bound to Mythal, and then broke free of her. – not proven, but not a stretch to believe.

Solas is biased towards Mythal – agree 100%. Theres no way that he can’t be. And if Biware sticks with the “legends don’t equal history” theme, it would be very on point to have Solas’s history be wrong (he’s also ego).

Mythal wasn’t all good – also agree. I think another one of the games themes is that not everyone is 100% good or 100% bad, they just are.

Mythal killed Dirthamen

Interesting. Why?

Dirthamen Lore: God of Knowledge (secrets), ravens [fear & deceit] & bears.

Mythal: Protector Goddess… but wait wasn’t she something else too?

Codex: Mythal the Protector Mythal offered to deliver justice when the People warred amongst themselves. Elgar'nan saw her wisdom and agreed, binding all to abide by her verdicts.

Mythal wasn’t just a protector, she was the Judge. And from this….

Some petitioning Mythal for justice hid jealousy, accusing those who had done them no wrong. She saw their lies, and struck them down. Others petitioning Mythal for justice burned with wrath for imagined slights. She saw their weak hearts, and struck them down. Those coming to her with clear minds and open hearts were granted judgment and protection, and Mythal harried their enemies until the end of their days.

Sounds like she was judge, jury, AND executioner.

Hmmm.

But why would Mythal kill poor Dirth?

First of all, lets use the word “kill” very loosely. Obviously Mythal “survived” her murder, and Solas didn’t “kill” the Evanuris, he trapped them, so “kill” here could be trapped or banished or just betrayed or actually dead.

Dirthamen was the God of Secrets.

Did Mythal want information he wouldn’t give? Did Dirth know a secret of hers and threaten to expose it?

Codex entry: The Lost Temple of Dirthamen Dirthamen is gone, he said. Our Highest One brings to us this gravest news. What shall we do? Where shall we go? What of the old secrets that burn within our hearts? They will come for us in the night Those who could steal the words from our lips And our god no longer rises to our defense. We claw at the walls, at the walls. Now we pray for a dawn that will never arrive. Our Highest One, he deceives us. The honeyed words that drip from his tongue We know the despair they mask. We disciples of Dirthamen know truth, now as ever. The Highest One promises safety. I shall protect our ancient secrets, he claims All that Dirthamen once granted us will be safe. But it is our blood he seeks A sacrifice dark and unholy A prison of evil to keep us in and all else out. …

So Dirthamen’s followers had a secret, and he, (I take this to mean Elgar’nan, “Our Highest One”) wanted it. Maybe the whole Evanuris wanted it. Or did they want it to be kept secret?

But what big secret could there be, do we know a big secret about the Evanuris?

*Warning, mild DA:TV Trailer & Gameplay ONLY Spoilers

*Warning, DA4 Spoilers

In Trespasser, when our Inky steps through the last Eluvian, we see a bunch of stone statues. We are led to believe this is Solas’s magic, especially when we see him turn the attacking Qunari Viddasala into stone. Strange power for a Trickster God.

*Da4 spoilers okay I warned you.

In The Dragon Age: The Veilguard Official Release Date Trailer, we see Scout Hardling battling darkspawn (beside Rook). She turns the darkspawn to stone, and whispers emotionally, “What is happening to me?”

Looks like Solas tearing down the veil/releasing the Evaneuris made some of his power get onto Harding. Is this because she was there at the ritual (seen in the Official Gameplay Reveal)? Or is this something else entirely?

Codex entry: Torn Notebook in the Deep Roads, Section 3 … Trying to remember that old bedtime song about Mythal. My mother sang it the night before the darkspawn came for my clan. It's the last time I ever heard her voice. Ir sa tel'nal, Mythal las ma theneras. Ir san'a emma. Him solas evanuris. Da'durgen'lin, Banal malas elgara. Bellanaris, bellanaris. Written beside each elven line is a corresponding phrase, likely a translation: I am empty, filled with nothing(?), Mythal gives you dreams. It fills you, within you(?), Making our leaders proud. My little stones, Never yours the sun. Forever, forever. Hahren said we had lost some of the old words. What if they have changed? Durgen'lin from durgen'len? Little dwarves, never yours the sun? What did Mythal do here?

Good thing I’ve been living in the Elvhen Lexicon for the past 2 weeks, lets use MY translation here.

Ir sa tel'nal,   /   I am one, (of the) not-thing / not-ing, Mythal las ma theneras.   /   Mythal gives you waking dreams. Ir san'a emma.   /   I am san’a mine, (I am _____ mine), * Him solas evanuris.   /   She molds the Evanuris’ pride. Da'durgen'lin,   /   Small rock children, Banal malas elgara.   /   Nothingness, now your spirit Bellanaris, bellanaris.   /   Eternity, eternity.

*(the word san’a or sana does not exsist anywhere in the elvhen lexicon – ask me for my breakdown if you want)

The only glaring difference is the word elgara, it does not mean sun. It means spirit.

Lets take some liberties with this;

I am one of the not-ings, Mythal gives you waking dreams, I am of her (Mythal) Who molds the pride of the Evanuris, Children of the stone, Your spirit is now nothing, Forever, forever.

This is a very interesting lullaby.

Why would a dwarves lullaby contain reference to Mythal?

When were the Evanuris ever underground?

Oh ya, when they slay the titan(s).

Reference Picture:

Horned Elf on the left, raised glowing hand.

Cracked titan, with beam of light, 8-pointed star in center of chest.

Bald elf on right, 8-pointed star in center of chest, not glowing.

We assume the figure on the left represents the whole of the Evanuris, but who else do we know who wears a horned hairpeace?

*Insert Picture of Flemeth.

Oh, Hi, Flemeth-Mythal.

And who do we know that’s bald?

*Solas has entered the chat*

So, this fresco could be detailing how the Evanuris killed a titan,

OR

This is Mythal, killing a titan, taking the Titans power/lifeforce/magic, and giving it to… you guessed it! Solas!

Solas means ego/pride, so if we re-arrange the lullaby a bit to make it more literal,

Him solas evanuris, could mean She molds Solas.

Mythal MAKES Solas out of the heart (or whatever) of a titan; Solas is the fusion of a spirit (remember Cole in trespasser “he never wanted a body”) and the heart of a titan.

And in taking the heart of the titan, steals magic (maybe also immortality? Who knows) from the dwarves.

Remember Harding? “What is happening to me?”

Maybe she absorbed Solas’ power when she was at the ritual, or MAYBE, dwarven MAGIC is coming back. Dwarves should have ALWAYS had magic and access to the fade but Mythal STOLE it.

But... What does this have to do with my man Dirth?

Another leap, what if Mythal did this (killed a titan to create solas) without the knowledge of the rest of the Evanuris?

Is this Dirthamen’s secret? Was it Dirthamen who wanted to tell the Evanuris Mythal’s secret? And she killed him for it?

Or..

*This is a screengrab from a YT video:

The Sword stuck into Dirthamens back in the fade statue is huge.

It looks like a greatsword. I agree something happened to Dirthamen, but I don’t know if it was Mythal.

Maybe random, but why is Dirthamen’s Wisdom – the reward for the Temple of Dirthamen Side Quest – a shield?

Why does a god of secrets and knowledge need a shield?

Shields are for protecting against.

His wisdom is to protect himself, from who?

Who wields a greatsword? The Mother/Protector/Judge? Or the God of Vengance?

With that being said, its also stuck in his back, implying betrayal, so who’s to say.

Like you said, everything we have been talking about has been incredibly circumstantial. No knows, except for Mythal (and Bioware), what really happened.

This has been a very interesting tin-foil hat, its really brought me on a journey, thank you for lending it to me.

Solas: She was the best of them. She cared for her people. She protected them. Solas: She was a voice of reason. And in their lust for power, they killed her.

Either Solas or Bioware is once again missing a few steps in the sequence of events that led to Mythal's death. I mean, let's be real here: if Mythal was truly someone who cared for and protected her people instead of treating them like objects and tools (unlikely given the whole magic well that forces any who drink from it to serve Mythal with her physically taking control of their body to force them to do what she wants even if the actions she compels them to undertake are entirely against their own wishes and beliefs situation, that's not exactly loving and protective behaviour) and the Evanuris were truly all eeeeeeeeeeeevil slavers willing to do anything for their own gain... she would not be any threat to them. That's why the magisters who practice large-scale human sacrifice are so feared; what they do is horrific, but they do do it for a reason. That shit does seem to give insane boosts in power!

And speaking of things being done for reasons: even if we believe that Mythal was the voice of reason among the Evanuris (possible, but given her general behaviour across the games... I don't know, I'm reserving judgement until we meet some of the others) and the others were all power-hungry, that doesn't automatically translate into them killing her. Sure, maybe they wanted her to stop nagging, but if they all ruled their own areas they likely wouldn't see much of her, and besides that in the legends we see they all seem to listen to her pretty willingly. And also... she's described as the leader of the pantheon. She was in charge. Assuming the legends have some basis in fact, she was the leader and mother figure most of the Evanuris were bound to follow and obey, and we know she does have a fondness for stripping notable followers of their free will (in fact she seems almost giddy about getting Quiz/Morrigan under her control). How sure are we that they didn't have very good reason to want her dead? It's not like Solas would admit to it given his blind spot for her, and it would make more sense than "She was nice and they were all Evil McEvil so they murdered her in cold blood for no real reason"...

[dollarbin]

Nickel Bin #21:

J.D. Souther, RIP

Wow, he just died. Poor John Dennis!

I grew up with an uncle named JD. Unlike Souther, my uncle never suggested that Linda Ronstadt invite him over and cook him dinner (she, righteously, made him a PB&J). Nor did he found a terrible band with Richie Furray and Chris Hillman, nor write largely mediocre hit songs for The Eagles. Rather, my uncle JD collected archaeological tidbits from around the globe and worked as a chemist for a hospital until he died, relatively young.

I also grew up idolizing an altogether different JD: JD Fitzgerald, author of The Great Brain books. Did you read his books too? If not, turn off your computer and start reading them. Right now!

Uh oh, I see your still reading this instead. Okay, that's weird. But, I'll carry on...

Unlike JD Souther, my uncle JD and JD Fitzgerald did not retire at age 35 and then decide, “I had done what I wanted to do musically. And I just thought to myself, ‘All the men in my family worked until they died, and I’m going to take a few years off and build a great house and have a life.’”

Wow, that sure sounds nice. My uncle worked till until he died; so, I imagine, did JD Fitzgerald; after all, he wrote a whole bunch of books.

And I may not be named JD but today, when I am 13 years older than Souther was when he decided it was high time to hang up his songwriting boots and commence to forever appreciate the good life, I principaled a high school, taught 6 hours of classes on 12th Night, The Inferno and The Brothers Karamazov, cooked three family meals, shopped for hummus and sauerkraut at the ridiculous neighborhood grocery store my wife prefers over Trader Joe's, justified my existence in that store by picking up a six pack of hopefully gluten free beer, prayed for my Dodgers, had my dreams for them come true despite their troubling dirth of pitching as they crushed the Marlins, pet and fed the cat while dealing with its feces, typed this nonsense in my kitchen while simultaneously applauding the Schitt's Creek episode taking place in the family room, watched 7 glorious minutes of Neil Young shredding on stage in Japan in 1976 and read 20 divine pages of Ursula K. LeGuin.

And J.D. Souther? He apparently spent the last 44 of his 79 years retired and the other 35 years as either a child or as a guy who wrote songs for others and dated famous ladies. Plus he played occasional shows and did a little acting on the side. Sounds rough.

Wow, I sure sound bitter, don't I? Butdon't get me wrong: I enjoyed my day and I'm prepared to praise the recently departed JD Souther. But first we need to talk about JD Fitzgerald.

I note, by the way, that you have not stopped reading this and done as I directed: you are not currently reading The Great Brain books. I will take the high road and assume that you are not a lazy bum; rather, I will embrace the fact that you already know those 6(?) or 7(?) titles all too well: that you read them to all your children when they were young, or plan to do so once they are born, and that you keep copies of the books, like I do, conveniently about your house.

But just in case I'm wrong, and you are indeed a lazy bum, here's a run down on Fitzgerald: JD grew up 100+ years ago in a Utah nowheresville with a Mormon mom and a non-Mormon dad and an older brother who was a born confidence man, i.e. a swindling preteen who did everything from selling tickets to view his family's water closet - the first in their town; come, see it flush! - to using his great brain help the town's lonely and angry queer girl learn how to read and fend off the bullies. The younger brother in question grew up to write stories about said older brother and each novel is a Stone Cold Classic and is surprisingly unproblematic - there's no racism or homophobia! progressive thinking around religion and migration abounds! - even by today's probably not lofty enough standards.

I'd say J.D. Fitzgerald did more than all right for himself.

And J.D. Souther? He did all right too. After all, he passed this timeless, swaying song to Linda Ronstadt (and he even contributed some choice backing vocals).

And Faithless Love is just about equal to a lifetime of very good work...

[section-69]

🔥👀8 and 17 for the choose violence? 🫂💖(< plus nonviolent emojis bc i miss u)

miss you always <3 hope the cave is going good

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Lower Decks isn't funny. I'm sorry, I tried to like it, I wholeheartedly believe that animation is the best medium for doing experimental stuff with Star Trek, but Prodigy is right there!! Lower Decks is just... character does something weird and cruel while swearing loudly, we're supposed to laugh. Character mentions a thing that happened in Star Trek once, we laugh because we remember watching Star Trek. Except I don't laugh, because to me none of those things are jokes. Yes I know I sound like my grandfather.

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

Oh man so many things!! Trying to think of what I've looked for recently and been disappointed... obviously there's the complete lack of Chakotay/Neelix content, and a disappointing dirth of both Julian/Martok and Julian/Worf content. Recently a friend sent me searching for a very particular type of Julian/Sisko content and I was sorely disappointed. Much love to folks writing that as a loving, healing relationship. I could not understand less, but you do you. But why can I not find anything that plays into the power dynamic there? Sisko as the captain, yeah, but Julian as the CMO - the one person on this station who can Order the captain to do anything? For that matter, there's not enough Sisko/Kira power struggle. Actually now that I type it out, those last two would also work especially well as & rather than / fics. Can someone get on that please

[helbram]

FAIRY BOYS......

[seeker-ophelia]

OK you all need to go watch Ghil dirthalens Youtube on this right now.

More below the cut.

Yeah Ima just put this picture here...

Lets work on the big ones.

Pinks probably Ghilly, im guessing with a tail, Orange looks feminine, probably Andruil. Yellow is Elgar'daddy for sure.

Green is hooded, probably Dirth?

Red with the eye.

WHO TF IS THIS?

Are You Falon'din?

Why you have the inquisition eye on your head, bro?

Why you have triangles on your back, bro?

The scratched out ones?

Probably Sylaise and June.

Why? Because we don't know a lot about them and they're a mystery. That's literally my only reasoning.

Are they really being hid? If so, why?

Well, probably because I think June is dwarf but I don't have the brain space to explain why right now.

You want to REALLY be confused?

Come talk to me about Archdemon because...

Boy am I confused by that one.

AKA

This is supposed to be a calendar, but fucking.. how?

I have SCOURED the wiki. I have spent LITERAL DAYS looking for important historical events. I have changed the zero date, no information we have (so far) matched (I actually have a powerpoint presentation on this).

But you wanna know something interesting?

The 2nd Magister, the 5th Magister, and the 7th Magister.

2 and 5 hit.

52.

Dragon Age The Veilguard begins in 9.52 Dragon.

Oh yeah, and lets not forget...

Oh and...

Fucking THESE CODEX'S?

DA:O - Corra

(Corra is the bartender of Tapster's Tavern, in the Commons of Orzammar) Corra Quote: "With fifty-two types of ales, seventeen types of mead, and a dozen imported wines, we should be able to serve your needs. What'll you have?"

DA:2 - Letter: Feeling Inadequate?

Flag flying at half-mast? Does your soldier not stand to attention? Does your dwarf shy away from the Deep Roads? Come to Jorman's Apothecary and ask for our Special Sauce. Our Special Sauce is infused with the essences of fifty-two herbs. It's completely natural, completely safe, and ABSOLUTELY EFFECTIVE. You will never feel the same again!

DA:I - Codex entry: The Friends of Red Jenny

My father went after her once. You want to lose your friends fast? Just say you're tracking hers. He found a report that said she was killed in Nevarra. Everyone in that command, to a man: dead or hobbled or somehow lost their claims during the winter following. Know when that was written? Fifty-two years ago! I'll take a witch over whatever she is. Let her pick at the nobles; I think it's nature. —Recommendations of Captain Varn, private militiaman contracted in Denerim

WHATS WITH THE FIFTY TWO, BIOWARE?

WHEN I TELL YOU I AM UNWELL

I MEAN IT

"Invasion": The Inquisition Mosaic You Didn't Look At Close Enough (Neither Did I)

There I was, minding my own business, in the "clean-up" phase of my pre-Veilguard Inquisition playthrough, finally getting to the point of picking up the final missing pieces of my mosaics and dreading it. I finished "Invasion" and talked to Gatsi for the codex entry .... and something gave me pause.

Gatsi surmises that "Invasion" -- along with the rest of the mosaics, I believe -- is a Tevinter carving. And he concludes that "Invasion" must be depicting the magisters' assault of the Golden City. There were seven magisters, after all, and seven figures in the carving -- although the piece has been defaced and two have been notably and intentionally scratched out -- and the setting is clearly meant to depict a heavenly city, where mortals are not meant to tread. But then, he says this:

This had me ALARMED. I've always subscribed to the theory of the Golden City being Arlathan. I don't even really know if that's a niche theory anymore or if most people are on the same page with that, but reading this made me absolutely certain of it. A depiction of the Golden City that an expert architect is saying has elements of elven architecture. So, I ran to the mosaic to look at it.

And then I tilted my head sideways at the figures that Gatsi was claiming to be "magisters". And I said: "No, that's Ghilan'nain".

Here's the mosaic, which I've sharpened to make it easier to see and with the addition of my own markups:

Mythal wouldn't be depicted here, because she's dead at this point. Fen'Harel wouldn't be depicted -- for obvious reasons. If my identification of who's pictured here is correct (and it may not be, associating the elven pantheon with their sigils is a bit of a shaky science right now), that would make Sylaise and June the two that have been scratched out. I'm assuming they would have originally been in the lower left hand corner.

As to why they'd be scratched out, BEATS ME. Maybe there was greater dissent amidst the pantheon than we know about.

But uh....yeah. I didn't fucking know this existed. Because those mosaics were annoying to grab and I really never looked too closely at them. And I looked, and I haven't seen anybody talking about it. But I'm taking this as soft confirmation on the Golden City = Arlathan = the place where the elven gods were imprisoned theory. And it's been ... right there. In the game. For eleven years.

[dirthara-an]

(°ー°〃)

Dirthamen would literally rather repress his own desires to submit sexually and become the most satisfying and attentive top/dom, than admit that his messy separation from Falon'Din gave him separation anxiety and attachment issues.

Someone give this man a therapist, pls....

[thiefbird]

Welcome to dadwc friend!!! I would love to see your darling Dirthail telling someone off. Fierce warden vibes all day. 😌

One dose of yelling at Wynne coming up!

@dadrunkwriting

~~~

"You and she are very close, aren't you?" Wynne mentioned as Dirthail approached from Morrigan's fire. Dirth hummed noncommittally, trying to step around her. Wynne caught him by the shoulder and tugged him into her tent.

"Do not ignore me, young man," she scolded. Busybody old biddy.

Dirth sneered at her. "My apologies, Wynne, I didn't see you there, however can I help you?"

Wynne scoffed. "You and the... apostate. You're quite taken with each other."

"And what business is it of yours, how I spend my time?" Dirth all but spat.

"She's hardly discrete," Wynne complained, crossing her arms. "The way she looks at you, it's as though she's completely forgotten there's anything of you above the waist."

Dirthail snorted. "And? Creators take you, do you mean to deny me my fun?"

"Oh, sweet Maker," Wynne said, blessing herself with a gesture. "Is a little decorum from you two too much to ask?"

"Probably more likely to get it from Zevran," Dirth muttered caustically.

Wynne pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing. "Moving on. I noticed your... blossoming relationship, and I wanted to ask you where you thought it was going."

Dirth gave her a disbelieving look as she continued. "She is a cunning woman, a maleficar. She will use you for her own ends."

Rolling his eyes, Dirth turned away from her. "Morrigan and I understand each other, which is more than you can say about anyone, I warrant."

Wynne's eyes flashed angrily, and Dirth could feel the tingle of her connection to the Fade flaring. "Do not dare to assume my experiences, young man! I am trying to tell you what I see, what my instincts tell me. Even if your feelings for the witch are genuine, that does not make it good."

"Because she isn't one of your passive Circle mages?! Because she has more of the Fade in her finger than in your entire miserable, spirit-taken form?" Dirth shouted, enraged. Creators, but she was infuriating.. .everything he hated of the shemlen packed into an old woman, that was Wynne.

"Because you are a Grey Warden! You have responsibilities which supersede your personal desires, you impertinent child!" Wynne was seething, Dirth could feel it in the waves of mana flowing from her.

"You are not my Void taken commander, Wynne. You are here under my command. Do not lecture me about my responsibilities!"

Sneering, Wynne turned away. "If talk of your responsibilities bothers you, you are entirely too much of a child to have any sort of intimate relationship," she said snidely.

Dirth stared at her, wide-eyed. "I'm too much of a child? Coming from you, who cannot even find her own supper without a Tranquil slave to fetch it for her? Keep your judgements to yourself, Wynne. I do not wish to hear them." He spun on the spot and stormed from her tent.

How dare she tell him his business? How dare she tell him he was a child when he had survived so much? He whistled for Barkspawn to stay, ignoring his whine of protest, and headed into the woods around camp.

Dirthail walked for half an hour or so, seething, till he found a small stream. Stripping off his armor and clothes, he stepped in, hissing at the cold on his bare legs. It wasn't deep enough for swimming, but he lay down and rested his head on the bank, freezing the anger out.

Wynne was too important to the party. Morrigan only knew a small amount of healing magics, and they couldn't continue burning through healing potions and poultices the way they had before. He would have to apologise for shouting, to keep the peace.

Frustrated with the whole situation. he slammed the back of his head against the rock beneath it a few times, before he was caught by big, warm hands. Alistair gently lowered him down, looking concerned.

"Wynne?"

Dirth scrubbed a palm over his face. "Creators, was I that loud?" he asked, sitting up and shivering.

"I'm not sure if your Creators heard you, but the Maker probably did," Alistair teased. Dirth chuckled.

Alistair helped him out of the stream, wrapping him in a blanket. They settled beside the stream on an old stump, Dirth leaning tiredly against his fellow Warden. "So what was that blowup about?" Alistair asked after a while.

"Apparently a Warden shouldn't do anything other than be miserable." Dirth huffed. "I'm surprised she waited so long to say anything, Creators know she hates Morrigan. Worse than you, even."

Alistair tensed at the mention of Morrigan. "I don't hate her, I'm just... a reasonable amount of concerned she'll turn me into a toad," he said with a forced laugh, pulling away from Dirthail slightly. Dirth sat up, giving him space, but Alistair tugged him back with an arm around his shoulder after a few seconds.

"Well, Wynne does hate her, and she's our best-"

"Our only-"

"Our only healer," Dirth corrected. Morrigan was starting to pick it up from watching Wynne, but the old bat refused to actually teach her. "I'll have to apologise."

Alistair made a sympathetic face. "She... is a lot, sometimes. But I think she means well?"

"Well, she likes you," Dirth groused. "Void take me if she ever finds out I'm technically an apostate, not just fucking one."

Alistair's ears flushed red at Dirth's language, and he cleared his throat awkwardly. He was so easy to embarrass, and so cute when he was flustered; Dirth couldn't help himself.

Eventually, his shivers subsided, and they both headed back to camp. "Thank you for coming after me," Dirth murmured softly as they were petting Barkspawn.

"That's what friends do, right?" Alistair said cheerfully. Dirth tried to ignore the pang that statement sent through him, and grinned up at Alistair. "Still, thank you. You're..." Important to me? Beautiful? "A good friend."

Alistair flushed, ducking his head with a pleased smile. "So are you, Dirth."

[noverturemusings]

Solas fell to his knees. There he stayed, crumpled and unmoving with his head bowed, an artist in the quiet throes of grief, his fingers smearing paint as he clenched them into fists.

“I’m sorry,” Solas whispered. His body shuddered from the force of a swallowed cry. “I have no right to say I love you.”

@cdraconik once again blows me away! This time, it’s art of the mural mentioned in chap 91 that Solas painted. And! I love how they played with the eluvian’s shape and made it similar to a moon gate and how you can see the mural through the eluvian– AH! Thank you so much!

Okay, I’m gonna gush more about it and some of the symbolisms under the cut.

First of all. The wisterias. Mate, I’m gonna sob. Was not expecting the wisterias. Slapped me in the face.

There’s the broken raven fountain which is ouch enough on its own. But then, C.D also explained that the blood is meant to signify the blood of the innocents who’d perished after Elvhenan fell. Because Lavellan’s fall catalysed the empire’s fall as well (man, he really was 90% of Solas and Dirthamen’s impulse control, huh? the moment he’s gone? dirth: committing matricide; solas: making the veil)

Then we have the ICE ROSE and the DOGWOOD TREE?? UGH!

All in all, C.D, you took the image that I had in my head when I wrote the description for it and made it come to life, except ten times better. And just– I fucking love the colours. It’s all so beautiful.

[dreadfutures]

14DaysofDALovers #7 - Pride

Pairing: Dirthamen x Ixchel Lavellan (mentioned), Dirthamen & Solas

Rating: G

Dirth pines for Ixchel, but it's dangerous, and he feels guilty. Pride knows more than he should, and he doesn't seem to approve. I know I'm stretching the prompt! But this is where it took me on my walk to work today.

-:-:-:-

He waits at the edge of the estate, in the citrus grove that exists partially in a dream and partially in the material world. He, too, straddles that boundary. If Dirthamen looks at him only with his corporeal eyes, he sees a man whose form shifts and refracts between all the ways in which Dirthamen has known him through the ages:

At one angle, he wears his hair long and free, adorned with baubles and ornaments that marked him as one of Mythal's favored. He is the Pride of Mythal. Then, his head is bare, his face is lined with the tree of the All-Mother, a symbol of his victory over the ones who shaped the earth against them; he is the Wolf of Mythal. And then he is the proud Fen'Harel, free of his own vallaslin, and equal to the greatest Evanuris. Why wouldn't he be? He was one of the first of the People, too.

Sensing Dirthamen's thoughts, Pride half-smiles. In the Dreaming, he remains, as always, the six-eyed creature he has always been, and his wicked teeth bare in something less kind.

"How does your investigation fare, Dirthamen?" Pride asks, beneath the shifting sunlight and dancing leaves.

"Slow, but promising," Dirthamen replies. "She does not dream as we do, but she does dream. I have not been able to identify the contents with any clarity." He leans against one of the taller trees and watches the light catch on the gold of Pride's armor. The old wolf arrived here prepared to find a fight, it seems. "I doubt that I can pierce her mind with force, so I am equipping her with the tools to offer me entry another way. She learns Elvhen slowly."

Pride tilts his head, and his many reflections follow slowly, like a cascade of motion behind him. There is a curious gleam in his eye. "Do you question her?" he asks.

"I have tried," Dirthamen says, "but early attempts were thwarted by the language barrier. She seemed to be as frustrated as I was. Offering her language lessons helped overcome that somewhat, and build trust. She has claimed thus far that her memory has been impaired."

"You believe her."

It is less a question and more a statement, and Dirthamen's attention sharpens in response; he does not allow his demeanor to change at all, keeps his edges nice and soft as they had been before, but he observes Pride more keenly now: he is the Wolf now, prowling at the edge of consciousness. Dirthamen does not know if it was an accusation, or--or what else could it be, from the lips of a Protector?

And he is right, of course, to question Dirthamen's lax attitude with Davahn. Just thinking of the name (an unmistakable term of endearment) makes his skin prickle with guilt and ire. Does he, objectively, believe Davahn holds no threat to Elvhenan? He has not yet discovered what caused the explosion at Falon'Din's temple. He cannot say for sure. At the same time, however, he is deeply convicted of her innocence. Her distress, when it surfaces, is real. He does not need to meld with the emotion to know that.

"In this regard, yes," he tells Pride.

"The others expect a more thorough report than that, lethallin," he says softly. "If I am to tell them that she is not a threat--"

"Do not tell them that," Dirthamen interrupts. "As I said, I have not gleaned much yet in my investigation. If she does not offer me answers in her own voice, then I will discover them by the shape of her silence."

"She wears a facsimile of your brands," Fen'Harel points out, and he makes no comment when Dirthamen visibly blanches. "Why have you not made them real?"

The long-haired elf who won them the heart of the earth through cunning and through might looks up at the fruits of Dirthamen's orchard as he asks this question, and Dirthamen's blood runs cold. He cannot see Pride's face at this angle, cannot glean the old wolf's mood. He can only watch as Fen'Harel reaches up to cup one orange in the palm of his pale, elegant hand, and he wonders if Pride knows what he holds.

He should not. Dirthamen has learned to guard his secrets and his machinations very closely--even from his family.

Especially from his family.

Pride has stood at Mythal's side since before Dirthamen was called into existence. Dirthamen has been shaped as much by Pride as by the All-Mother. Pride is as much part of his family as the others, and Dirthamen has always known that, where the others dismissed the notion.

Dirthamen certainly will not dismiss it now. Pride cannot know that Davahn has occupied Dirthamen as more than just a project, but as a person. Pride cannot know--no one--can know the affection that has grown between the God of Secrets and his little mystery.

And there are plenty of ways to obfuscate. Plenty of good reasons to list. Dirthamen has been tricking himself with them all along, anyway, hasn't he?

"If I place true vallaslin upon her, then I will have no alibi for myself," Dirthamen replies coldly. "Remember, the first person my brother thought to accuse was me. She must be untainted, and her secrets freely given, or independently divined."

Fen'Harel glances at him now, eyes narrow in thought. Dirthamen finds himself holding his breath.

"These are not the oranges of Sylaise's gardens," Fen'Harel says at last. "Nor were they grown from her stock. Why have you not shared them with us before, lethallin?"

Dirthamen swallows. Fen'Harel--somehow--knows this secret after all.

But how?

Unless.

"Because they are bitter."

Fen'Harel hums thoughtfully. "The truth often is."

Before Dirthamen can pose another question, the Rebel Wolf has stepped across the boundary of Waking and Dreaming, and vanished into the furthest Fade.

[modernagesomniari]

Nightmare Voices?

So I just played through Here Lies the Abyss again (I’ve had at least three calming cups of tea since) and Nightmare sounded really like Corypheus to me (probably because they’re both voiced by David Sterne). 

Which got me thinking - if those little fear demons look different to each people, does Nightmare sound different to everybody as well?

So I had a think, and came up with these ideas for who it might sound like to whom.  Thoughts?

Also, given the subject matter, SPOILERS ALL.

Inquisitor: 

“You think that pain will make you stronger? What fool filled your mind with such drivel? The only one who grows stronger from your fear is me.”

Corypheus. None of them, regardless of background, have come across something so powerful that wants them so dead.

Cassandra: 

"Your Inquisitor is a fraud, Cassandra. Yet more evidence there is no Maker, that all your 'faith' has been for naught."

Daniel.  She ‘abandoned’ the Seekers to follow what might be a false Prophet and he was the cost.  Him losing his faith so obviously would also cut very deeply.

Blackwall: 

"Ah, there's nothing like a Grey Warden. And you are nothing like a Grey Warden."

His own voice.  There is no fear greater for a liar who lies even to themselves than the part of themselves that knows the truth.

Iron Bull:

"The Qunari will make a lovely host for one of my minions. Or maybe I will ride his body myself."

Tough, but I went for the temassran who taught him how to stack blocks when he was tiny.  That he remembered her and her pride in him and his abilities I think speaks volumes.  That said, if he’s in a romance with Dorian or mage!Inquisitor that could be nicely messed up as well given what Nightmare implies.

Cole: 

"Are you afraid, Cole? I can help you forget. Just like you help other people. We're so very much alike, you and I."

Lambert I think.  This was a hard one, because Cole also very much fears himself, but Lambert was the one who told him what he was and, on whose judgement (as he sees it) he lost his friends.  Lambert also killed for the ‘greater good’, which is what Cole fears he will go back to.

Sera:

"Sera. Sera. Sera... If you shoot an arrow at me, I'll know where you are."

Lady Emmald.  Possibly obvious, but the idea of Lady Emmald being back and suggesting that Sera’s greatest strength now is the one thing that will betray her back to her patron is precisely the kind of mental abusive crap that woman would pull.

Dorian:

"Greetings, Dorian... It is Dorian, isn't it? For a moment, I mistook you for your father."

Alexius.  I played with the idea of Felix, but given everything Alexius meant for Dorian, to have that voice ‘mistake’ him for his own father would be worse I think.

Vivienne:

"What's it like living as an apostate, Vivienne? Do you really think you'll reclaim your power in the circle... at your age?"

Celene.  Hard one our Vivienne because she’s so good at moving on, but Celene’s approval and trust represents everything she wants for herself and, therefore, mages who can now follow her example.  The idea of that power doubting her could threaten everything she has worked so hard to build for herself and her people.

Varric:

"Once again, Hawke is in danger because of you, Varric. You found the red lyrium.  You brought Hawke here..."

Options for this one: 

Bartrand (if he’s dead).  Pretty obvious why that one would suck.  

Anders (if he’s dead) especially if its taken that it was well known among the DA2 cast that Anders loved Hawke regardless of Hawke’s romantic decisions in the game.

Actually, pretty much if any of the DA2 cast dies after they reach Kirkwall (I’m looking at you, Bethany) I feel that Varric would be carrying that wound with him.  Someone give that man a hug.

Solas:

"Dirth ma, harellan. Ma banal enasalin. Mar solas ena mar din." 

Rough translation: “Learn your lesson, trickster. Your victory is nothing. Your pride leads to your death”

Again, options:

I have a headcanon that Solas and Falon’Din hated one another, so that’s an option because having the guy you hate for his arrogance crowing over you whilst you’re knee-deep in the shit you caused by fucking up so badly would be gut-wrenching

(If romanced) Lavellan.  The cost of righting his mistake.  If he ever thought there was a way for him to win this, it ended the moment she kissed him.  If he fails in his task, he will die alone, cut off forever from his people.  If he succeeds, he will die without her.

[guigz1-coldwar]

'One bullet' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

'One bullet'

"Sometimes, I just want to be in an peaceful place with only you and no more work to stress us for good !"

Chapter Summary : After having an talk with Lazar's vision, Yirina is finally feeling determined to avenge her fallen friend and face Naga.....

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3600

------------------------------------------------------------------

Lazar...He is far more different than Adler and when I saw him even if it was only an vision, I know that I could have an better talk with him, knowing that his words towards me will bring me some kind of hope I'm trying to find in myself since the crash, something that's giving an chance to give Garrett the retribution to kill every man serving under Naga's cartel and every Perseus soldier also protecting him. Our discussion couldn't last too many time and it was in an bit of sadness to see Lazar vanish in front of my eyes before I could reconcentrate myself.

Before actually leaving the place to get myself deeper in the jungle, I have to check the map to see where the house was and what direction I needed to take to get to Naga's HQ without trying to make too much noises along the way as we were close to Naga and I was alone without any means to contact the others. With that in mind and after finishing to check the map, I was in my way to get to Naga's HQ, ready to find Adler & avenge Garrett above all, it has to be done.

During my walk through the jungle on an little dirt path that was indicated on the map, I was wondering if the radio I stoled from the first patrol that wanted to check the crash, was going to emit at one moment, been shut down since I taunted Naga himself over it in an moment of rage. I have maybe blow out an chance to know more about what are Naga's moves in the area but I will now know as I was arriving next to his HQ.

"Shit, an sniper's nest." I whispered to myself as I was arriving at the end of the dirt path, marked on the map that was actually leading to an little place guarded by an sniper. "Gotta use my knife." I took out my knife of my boot, slowly advancing to get behind the guy and then, I moved to stab right in the neck side, getting my left hand on his mouth.

"Mmfff..." His voice was hopefully muffled by my hand, avoiding him to scream and to reveal to his friends that someone was getting killed. When his body went limp, I quickly get on the ground before getting to cover.

This little nest based on an little hill for that guy was in fact, overlooking the entrance of Naga's HQ and finally able to discover more about who was awaiting me & the others. Now, it was mostly Perseus soldiers that we were going to face, meaning that it was this place Adler was to be. But with those new pieces of informations, I couldn't risk to make an solo attack on that place. Even filled with rage, it's suicide to do this. I have to wait the others but when they will be here ?

"Patrol, it's been an hour that your radio went off." An voice said through the stolen radio I had with me, breaking the long silence from it and this voice...it was Naga. "Patrol, did you check if any survivors was there at the crash ?" He demanded again, apparently forgetting that someone else did respond to him an hour earlier.

"No one survived." I started, speaking at the dead guys place, making my voice clear to him while I was staying out of sight of the entrance. "Your guys are dead, Naga." I added.

"Who is this ?" He asked, sounding confused to hear an stranger's voice, he must have forgetten my taunt.

"Someone that you pissed off too much." I replied, my eyes focused on the dirth path I arrived in.

"Ah, you must be one of the survivors of that crash." He said, sounding like he had an revelation in his head. "How was that little fall ? We didn't see too much from my camp." He scoffed and I wasn't laughing at all, nothing came out of my mouth.

"I lost an friend." I breathed, blinking with my eyes, seeing that scene again. "Do you think it's funny ?" I questioned in an serious voice.

"In fact, it's not everyday that you brought down an Huey." He told me as I quickly look towards the base entrance, trying to find if the others were there.

"You always has been like that, Naga ?" I asked him rhetorically, remembering the memory I had when I met the guy. "Without an heart ? Merciless ? Brutal ?"

"Been an warlord isn't an line of work to have emotions." He decided to give me an answer anyway. "You know, I think you're all coming from your CIA friend....Russell Adler, I believe." He continued, almost sounding funny in his voice. "I'm afraid that...you are too late."

"Meaning ?" I whispered.

"Well, you have to come to my base to see." He replied, his voice clearly saying that my attempt to know more was useless "There's something that is maybe interesting you here....an little smell from the past." He joked at the end, hearing an laugh through the radio. Why is he telling me all of this ? Do he know that I was alone ?

"You're out of your mind." I said, giving my thoughts on that man, honestly.

"Wait !" He called me an bit loud, sounding to have something in his mind. "Your voice, it's sounding...familiar." He added before hearing him sort of getting up from an chair. "Ah...so, you're our Yirina Grigoriev but I think that people around you is calling you 'Bell', is that correct ?" He demanded, knowing that he was talking to 'Bell'

"That is correct." I responded, 'Bell' is the one talking right now. "Naga, you're going to release my friend or I will personally make sure that you and all your men will suffer." I threatened him in an dark voice, also giving me pain to still call Adler an friend.

"You aren't believing those words but it seems that Adler did really messed you up." He exclaimed, an noise of surprise in his voice.

"I don't know what you are talking about." I expressed, fainting to not know anything.

"Well, you will soon find out." He affirmed in an serious tone. "To make you know, you're the first person I will not personally have my hands around their necks." He admitted to me, making some noises through his radio. "You're our Queen of Hearts alongside the MI6 agent, Helen Park." I wasn't seeing him from my position but his words meaned that he was looking to the playing cards representing me & Park.

"To be captured alive." I whispered. "Yes, I saw them too." I continued, thinking that he was maybe looking surprised on his side.

"So, you learned that Perseus has ordered everyone to put their hands on you and that MI6 agent but instead, you decided to be on the field." He wondered to me

"Why we were going to hide ?" I demanded rhetorically. "I'm not intending to hide, Naga...I will find you and I will kill you." I confessed, putting all my fear in that threat to him.

"We'll see about this, you're probably still trying to find your way in here alone, it's going to be long." He said, not thinking at one second that I was having my eyes on his camp. "We'll be the firsts to capture you and before that, your friends will suffer another fate." He added. "Stitch will...."

"Sir !" Another voice came through his radio, cutting him and surprising me in place. "We spot the CIA strike team, they're almost at 200 m from the entrance." Those words caused me to quickly check the nest, finding some binoculars near the dead sniper before looking away from the entrance. They were all here : Park, Woods, Song, Sims, Wolf, Rivas along with others survivors from the latter team.

"Shit !" I muttered at their sight, mixed between been happy to see them after all these times but also because they were going into an trap.

"I'm sorry but I will be busy to cut the skins of your friends and hang them on the trees." Naga taunted me again. "Bye bye !" He added before the radio went off completely.

I couldn't stay useless here, only watching the others getting trapped by Naga's men at the entrance. Just after the radio went off, I could see that they were preparing to ambush the others, getting in cover and opening widely the gates that are leading inside the camp. I needed to do something and since I was in an sniper nest, I should prevent the others that they were walking straight into Naga's trap.

I quickly moved to grab the SVD Dragunov the dead sniper was using before getting in position, switching between looking at where Park and the team were walking and the entrance, trying to find if anyone was going to make an move and everyone was basically in their nerves about what will happen...including me. Everything can happen at the moment this ambush will occur but, it doesn't need to have an ambush....

With an thought crossing through my mind, I couldn't let the occasion for Perseus soldiers to attack first, meaning that I will attack first. I took an deep breath, staying steady to stabilize the Dragunov and then, I pulled the trigger. The first bullet I shot flied to hit an Perseus soldier that was hiding behind an wall with his friends and seeing him getting hit send an moment of panick in the soldiers. I took an few seconds to check Park and the team, seeing them running towards the entrance.

Once I was done, I resumed to fire with the Dragunov towards the numerous enemies that was keeping the entrance before the real gunfight began, starting the fight to get Naga for real. At my position, I was providing cover to the team below me but after an few moments, I saw through the scope of the sniper rifle that an RPG was aiming at my position and when I tried to shoot him, the sniper rifle ran out of bullets....shit !

It took me an second to react and the only thing I could do was to jump off from the sniper nest, not forgetting to grab my AK-47 to get down before the rocket hit my former position. I found myself to slide on the cliff, trying to not hurt myself before I was finally at the same level about the others, quickly moving to get to them in cover.

"Hey, Yirina !" Woods exclaimed, surprised to see me as I was now in cover with him, Park & Song while Sims, Wolf & Rivas were in another cover at a few meters from us with some of Rivas's men. "Shit, you've been through hell, it seems." He stated, looking at my clothes.

"I know." I whispered, after getting myself fully in cover next to him.

"Yiri, I'm been worried." Park said, going back into cover, her eyes true to her words.

"We've been trying to contact you but you weren't responding at all." Song expressed before firying some bullets from her XM4, killing some guys in the process. "What happened ?" She asked suddenly worried, returning in cover.

"Shit...I don't know but it seems that Naga was able to see through that our helicopter was something belonging to us." I replied, focused on also blasting with my gun to provide some cover to allow Sims, Wolf & Rivas to advance an little to another protection. "We've been hit by an RPG and we crashed....an hour ago." I added, closing my eyes after getting to cover again.

"And...and where's Garrett ?" Park questioned me and it caused me to look down, my eyes still closed.

"He...he's dead, Park." I responded, feeling the pain of telling them where's Garrett now and in an instant, I could see the pain on their faces, their eyes going wide and Song at the urge of crying while Park was speechless and in the same state as Song.

"It's...no....it can't be possible." Song breathed loudly after hearing me, getting her hands off her gun, dropping it on the ground.

"I'm sorry..." I told both in an very low voice.

"Damnit." Woods chuckled, mixed between shooting with his XM4 and listening to us, he was also feeling bad.

"He...." I stopped myself, starting to hear his voice again, telling me to kill Naga with the bullet I did make before leaving to get here and it was not by staying in that cover that I was going to do it. So, I reloaded my AK-47 and then, I suddenly jump out of cover, having spot during my suppressing fire an way to maybe get to Naga rapidly.

"Yirina !" I heard Park shout as I was running to get to the way I saw before : an entrance inside an house at the left of where Sims, Wolf & Rivas were located.

I passed in front of them before arriving into safety inside the house that was more looking an armory but I wasn't really in safety as there were an Perseus soldier in it, firying through an window. We both met eyes and I made the first move, literally throwing my own AK-47 to his face before starting to run over him to try to stab him but he managed to block my attempt with his right hand but since I wasn't able to stab, I took out my M1911 to shot at him in the chest two times before finishing him off with an bullet in the head.

At this moment, another door from the house at a few meters from me was force opened by an Perseus soldier, I tried to quickly shoot him but in fact, my M1911 was out of bullets, not having reload it after that attack that killed this 'Swift'. I was then going to throw an knife at him before someone fire multiples bullets in his direction, killing him and discovering Sims with his M60 in hands.

"For fuck sake, Yirina..." He said, putting himself in cover as I was moving to get to the broken door. "You almost got yourself killed."

"And ?" I asked him, grabbing back my AK-47 in hand that I threw to the first guy. "You're striking them from the front, I'm taking Naga." I explained to him.

"It's too risky, we need to...."

"Maybe but isn't our line of work ?" I cut him straight like that, blinded by my rage to finish off Naga. "He killed Garrett but I will be the one to kill."

"Yirina, I can't let you do this." He exclaimed, sounding sure of his words.

"He got Adler and you want me to let him live ?" I questioned him, finally moving to get in cover next to the broken door in case there were someone. "Don't follow me and don't try anything, Sims." I ordered before he resign himself to let me walk away as he was reloading his M60 before going out.

"Give me back Adler !" He screamed, along with his M60 as he was going out of his cover from the house, leaving me alone.

Surprisely, the little yard that was separing me from an sort of old temple was empty of enemies, maybe all focused to battle with the others, leaving me alone to get myself prepared to face Naga himself, maybe awaiting for his men to do the job for him but knowing Park and the others, he will wait very long and it's sure that he isn't going to wait long until I put the engraved bullet into his mad brain....for Garrett.

Despite facing no resistance from Perseus soldiers, I quickly move towards the yard to enter that old temple but it wasn't the main entrance of it and of course, I continued my advance inside of it, discovering an lot of gold bars stored here....like that. What all of these things are doing here ? I didn't let myself distracted until I arrived in an sort of main room with an sort of fountain in the middle but then....

"AAAAH !" A sort of war cry came inside the room, discovering Naga charging me with an knife, dressed in the same clothes that he was wearing in my memory. "Die !" He shouted again before I could avoid that strike from him.

"You're first !" I exclaimed towards him, taking out of my knife from my boot.

"Oh, here's our 'Winter Soldier'." Naga said, discovering me in person again, saying that stupid nickname linked to me. "I'm sorry to dissappoint you but your friend Adler...isn't here ! I can say that you & me, we're the same." He added as we both started to turn around each other, pointing to each other with our knife.

"So, it was an trap ?" I snorted.

"And of course, you all fall in it." He scoffed, sounding happy of having us in here. "You know what ? Enough of the talk and...fuck Perseus's orders." He looked at his knife before having his eyes hidden by his sunglasses looking at me. "I'm going to enjoy killing you slowly." He then start to attack first with his knife.

He directly tried to make an swing with his knife but I step back, avoiding the blade of it to touch me, not even making an cut through my clothes. However, he took the advantage that I wasn't attacking to charge me again, throwing himself against me and smashing my back against the stoned wall of the temple. He continued by kicking me in the chest with his knee before throwing me next to the fountain, still making sure that I wasn't going to make an move.

"Let's see how much time you will hold your breath." He taunted me before he grabbed my head to put it in the fountain, trying to drow me. I couldn't do an thing while he was having his left hand on my neck and the other controlling my hands, making me impossible to move before he removed my head from the fountain. "You know what ? Before killing you and after killing your friends, I will surely have an big taste on what's inside those clothes."

"Go fuck yourself !" I shouted, catching back my breath.

"Shut up, little slut !" He cursed, making my head going back inside that fountain but when he put my head inside, I could hear Garrett's voice again....'Kill him'....'Kill him'....and it did gave me more strenght as he pull me out of the water. "So, you're going be my favorite whore and all my men will certainely have an chance to see how much you'll begging before you plead me to end you." He scoffed, sounding certain to have win.

"In your fucking dreams !" I exclaimed, moving my legs to kick him in the waist, breaking his control over me and allowing me to grab back my knife that I dropped after he smashed me against the wall.

At this moment, I took the occasion that he was still trying to get up from my kicks that I approached him rapidly, making an single swing towards his left hand and I managed to cut off his left hand, making it drop in the ground before I start to punch Naga in the face multiples times as he was on the ground, breaking off his sunglasses, removing his green hood to discover his face and it didn't stop me to continue my moves.

I finally stopped to punch him, letting him to bleed, leaned against the fountain on the ground, breathing anormally after my numerous punches against him. Me, I was taking out the empty mag of my M1911 to insert the engraved bullet in it.

"You & I, we're not the same." I told him, inserting the bullet in the mag while looking at him, it was the words he used before our fight. "I'm not like you." I affirmed, loading the mag back into my M1911. "His name was Garrett Donovan." I added, aiming my gun towards Naga's badly hitten head.

"Yirina !" An male voice came in and I saw Woods with Park, Song & Sims. I wasn't paying attention at outside that the fighting was done. "Don't do it !" He ordered, making me look at him with an deadly glare.

"And why that ?" I demanded from him, my voice cracking. "He killed Garrett, why I would let him live ?" I said, looking at Park & Song that was still sad about that news, they were looking to be with me, wanting me to shoot that piece of shit on the ground.

"We got orders, Yirina." Sims called me out but I wasn't looking at him, focused on seeing Naga. "He might be useful for us to have intels of where's Adler ?" He added, trying to convince me of that.

"And you really think that his fucking shithead will help us ?" I shouted, angry.

"Yirina, if you shoot, we will have no chances." Woods joined Sims in his argument as Park & Song were staying silent, feeling that they wanted to shoot Naga too, hoping to have me do it. "Please, lower the gun." He suggested again, slowly approaching me to grab my gun away from me.

"I...I..." I started, getting confused inside of me about shooting him or not but I had to shoot him...for Garrett. "AAAH....Fuck !" I screamed, angrily lowering my gun, realizing that I wasn't going to shot Naga like when I wasn't able to shot Adler's vision. I couldn't look anyone in the eyes as I was having some tears coming from mine, starting to walk towards the path I came in here.....

"Leave me....I just need to be alone....I fucked up, Garrett !"

[dinrenan]

Explaining my characters. Dinrenan and Dirthrenan

This is basically why my character gets called Jules instead of Dinrenan, and why Dirthrenan took it instead. This explains how and when she gets adopted because that is when the whole name-changing started. I hope this helps to understand!

---

Name meanings:

Dinrenan: Din(death)renan (voice) I translated as Voice of the dead or Dead's voice - I prefer the first

Dirthrenan: Dirth(used for knowledge or secrets)renan(voice) I translated as Voice of secrets or Secret's voice.

Ashallen/Asha'len: I translated as Child Woman. Mother of Dirthrenan, Healer of clan Lavellan. Her family had always had the gift of magic but she doesn't know from what clan they came from.

Adahlin/ Adahl'lin: Tree's blood or Blood of the tree (am not sure). Father of Dirthrenan. Hunt Master of Clan Lavellan.

Amelan'lin (Mentioned): Blood of the guardian or Guardian's blood

Backstory/Info (If one can call it that) for the sisters

Dinrenan was the High priestess of Falon’din, she was but a child that people thought to be an adult thanks to an amulet she wore that held the Evanuris magic, an illusion in shorts, the "God" couldn't let the People think a child was given better treatment than them, she wears no Vallaslin for she wasn’t a slave but a precious child Falon'din wanted to keep near because of her voice, it soothed the man once the war came. She was called Priestess by the People because it was known for her to go around the Uthenera temples and sing to those who were going into Uthenera and those already asleep, they could hear her in the beyond and knew someone was there to watch over them, it gave them a sense of peace and comfort. Slaves were wary of her because whenever she was near, Falon'din wouldn’t be far away. When Falon’din's vanity made him sacrifice his people, she sang to them, hoping for their spirits to forgive and forget, in that moment she knew her beloved Master had gone too far, but he cared for her, to the child, that was enough to forgive.

She met the Dread wolf once, young and rebellious, dangerous her Master told her but the Wolf did not harm her, his men did, they tried to capture her before she could give the alarm, to them, she was but a noblewoman going to alert the whole temple of their presence, She knew how to shapeshift into a dragon, the Master wanted her to learn it, but in the moment of panic, she forgot everything, how to focus on herself and shape her form. The wolf took the temple, the Master had fled, there was no one to protect the child now. Many slaves told the wolf that if the High Priestess was to live, Falon'din wouldn't cease his search of her, the god was like a madman treasuring his vanity and jewel. The wolf had refused to put an end to someone's life only because they were used as a tool, his men did not agree and when the time came, the leader away on a mission, they forced her into Uthenera, she cried, pleaded even, her Master was coming for her after all, she had to be awake, they did not listen.

----

When the World of Elvhenan fell and the magic with it, the illusion broke and she was a child again, sleeping in a tomb, silent and dark. Millennia later she was awake again, confused, in pain, but her memory was hazy, she started to sing and cry, she couldn't remember much, she had a Master, the one who treated her like his own child, then what was after? A rebellion of sorts maybe, some evil men looking down at her like she was the worse child on the planet....only, she wasn't a child? She could feel the presence of Spirits, but they were twisted, they did not harm her, her voice kept them enraptured. This is how a hunter found her, and from there, the rest is history.

Joining the clan- The Keeper knows

It had rained the day before and the soil was full of mud puddles when the hunting party came back, some of the hunters had caught hares and some even wolves and deers, one of them though, the hunt master, had no prey in his back but a little girl who didn't appear more than 7 years old with brown shoulder-length wavy hair, in his arms, she clung to the man's neck like she was afraid to look around. Keeper Deshanna asked her first, Dirthrenan, to go and bring some blankets and prepare a bed in the healer's tent. Once the order was given the girl sprinted towards the Healer's tent, not even giving a glance towards her father or the strange addiction in his arms. The keeper greeted the Hunters back she asked Adahl'lin where he found the girl and he seemed all too wary to answer.

"She was in the ruins in the north, Keeper, she was surrounded by demons and she was...singing to them...as soon as she noticed us the demons vanished and she started to talk, but she seems to not know any trade..."

The woman then put her gaze on the child's back and started to speak in Elven, although she found it difficult.

" Turn around, child, no one is going to hurt you"

The child sniffed once and turned her head around, that's when her greenish eyes met the beautiful sky blue of the keeper.

"The same the wolf said but then the Master was no more and everyone lied, so why would I believe you?"

The woman looked confused for a moment, what the child had told made no sense to her, but then she asked her name. The shock hit her like a wave once the name was out of the child's lips. Keeper Deshanna had heard of The High Priestess of Falon'din in the legend Keeper Amelan'lin told at the last Arlathvhen after his hunters found new ruins. He had told of the role the figure had in Ancient temples and Keeper Deshanna couldn't believe the child, the legend says it was a woman, but again, the legend could have been wrong.

-----

Keeper Deshanna had left the child with Asha'lin and her family, the girl showed ability in magic and bonded quickly with Dirthrenan, referring to her and Asha'lin as kin, Deshanna had yet to tell everyone the girl's name and wasn't sure on how to proceed, there were city elves among them who would certainly think of the girl as nothing more than a demon, she wasn't sure as to how even the other Dalish clans would react to such a thing.

When the time came to announce that the new girl was to be kept as a member of the clan Deshanna said that her real name was a mystery, so from then on, the clan could call her Jules, the girl was to answer only to that name.

To Dirthrenan that made no sense, so she chooses to apply the name to herself, fearing to forget it in the years to come, the Keeper always called her Dirthrenan but she refused to answer toward that name. Jules appreciated it and always made sure to keep her sister from danger.

------

In the years to come, the name Jules was the name she always told people that met her, it was the name the clan gave her, although she refused to take the Vallaslin when she was ready for it, the clan was in dismay, she fought both in elven and trade, then explained in the Keeper's Aravel that she wasn't going to put a slave mark on herself, and then explained to Deshanna what really those tattoos were for. The pain in the Keeper's eyes told her it wasn't what she wanted to hear but understood her point of view, so suggested another option.

Dirthrenan was told to reach the Keeper's Aravel and once inside saw the ink that was used for the Vallaslins, only it was different. She was left alone with her sister, the Keeper had to go out and attend daily matters in the clan.

"So...why is this?"

"I refuse to take your sl-... Vallaslins, the Keeper understood and proposed you paint it on my face instead of....you know..."

Dirthrenan only smiled and shook her head, she didn't ask the reasoning, she took her Vallaslin just the day prior and did not want to know whatever trespassed between the two.

"Alright, so I just have to paint it on your face?" "Yes, it's the same ink you used yesterday, but instead of Dirthamen's...I wish for Falon'din's...the Ink has to be dried as soon as it settles and then I shall cast a spell that basically fixes it and stop it from fading for few months...can you do it?"

While Jules laid down and closed her eyes Dirthrenan took a thin paintbrush and started to work, when both girls exited the Aravel the whole clan was waiting, once seen the Vallaslin they clapped and hugged her, not knowing of the trick.

-------

I probably have burnt the keyboard. I really hope this made sense to you all! (Also sorry for the bad English)

[greenjudy]

Inquisitor Ask Meme

Reposting this for fun.

Anyone else want to take a crack? What kind of Inky would you be?

@allsortsoflicorice? @tyramir ? Bueller?

1. Race:

Human.

2. Class/Specialization:

Rift mage.

3. Your homeland?

The Free Marches. Wycome, to be precise. 

4. Your family?

Keep my family out of this; they have things to do besides die.

5. Who were you before?

A Circle Mage of some skill and much fear. Given my personality, the Circle would probably not cater to my strengths. It would make me more nervous and paranoid than I already am. The Inquisition would force me out of my comfort zone and give me some resilience I would never otherwise develop. Left to my own devices, I’d fall prey to obsession, and possibly possession by a Pride demon.  

6. Would you be religious?

I’ve read a lot of books by Brother Genitivi and Philliam! A Bard; I’m actually using my clout as Inquisitor to gather whatever is known about the Black City. You might say I’m an originist, I want to know where we came from; Andraste is kind of late on the scene for my interests. 

Post-Trespasser, this quest will more or less eat my brain.

Short answer: obsessed with “religious” subject matter, not religious per se. 

7. Do you have a mabari?

Nope. But I spoil Cullen’s baby. 

8. Your opinion on other races?

Raised to “not be racist” (as far as that goes) in cosmopolitan, edgy, free-wheeling Wycome; family with a ton of Dwarven trading connections. Angry about the elves. Knew loads of elven enchanters in the Circle, but I have awkward awareness of human privilege around the Dalish. 

Fascinated by the Shaperate. Wish all Thedas had those. Can you imagine? 

Worried about the Qun, but deeply impressed with the handful of Qunari I’ve met in person. Not mindless drones at all. Disciplined. Community first has some virtues, must say. 

9. What would Varric’s nickname for you be?

Baffler.

10. What would your tarot card look like?

The High Priestess: an older, abbess-looking chick standing at a scriptorium, surrounded by magical paraphrenalia and a gorgeous view out my high window. Raven (with message) standing on the windowsill.

11. Where would you hang out in Skyhold?

My bespoke mage tower, if I’m not in the Undercroft picking Dagna’s brain. Do a little weeding in the herb garden from time to time; we’re growing some fascinating things in there. 

After Solas leaves, I’d go spend time in the destroyed holding cells, watching the water fall.  

12. What would you do for fun?

Study. Knit. Paint. Visit my horses; the smell of horses is very comforting. 

I’d have highly technical arguments with Dorian and spend a lot, a lot, a lot of time talking to Solas.

13. What armor would you wear?

Cutting-edge tactical enchanted fabric. Light, layered, tweedy, enchanted.

I’d probably get sucked into magical materials research, specifically, making improvements to armor base-layers. I’m obsessed with armor. I have a whole research group (headed by Dagna, Cullen consulting) devoted to armor improvement.

14. What would your room look like?

Given the state of my current room, a chaotic mess of books, papers, research tools, letters from colleagues, blueprints, schematics, dirty dishes, orchids, and automata (Josie and I would be doll-geeks together).

15. Who would be your friends at Skyhold?

I try to make sure that the Inner Circle understands how much I appreciate them as a general rule. 

As for friends: 

Cassandra is one of the great ones. Just about the best person I know. Never met anyone so ready to acknowledge her mistakes. I’d trust her to be the next Divine. 

Dorian is a dear. One of the best sounding-boards. Somebody peel that man a grape. 

Cullen and Josephine are terrific advisors, couldn’t ask for better, their own problems of course, we’re all doing our best. I’d like to know Cullen better—suspect we have things, Circle things, to talk about. In another life, maybe. 

I’d get on with Varric—everyone gets on with Varric, come on—but I find him ultimately very armored, hard to know. Hid his best friend, didn’t he? Never talks about the lady he loves. 

Sera is actually easy to understand. Raw genius with a bow, one of the best to have along, out in the field. Not exactly my friend. So down on the Dalish. It’s her business, though. She and Dagna are adorable together. She makes Dagna happy, that’s good enough for me. 

I have a bit of a GP for the Iron Bull. (He had me at “front-line bodyguard.”) Never acted on it, though.

Solas is my… see… well, see below. 

16. Would you have any friends outside of the Inquisition?

I’d have the Thedas version of LinkedIn comrades in Antiva, Nevarra, and Orlais—researchers all. Plus one brilliant friend who’s a materials mage based out of Denerim, working with Sandal on woven metal enchantments; call her my “knitting buddy.”

17. Who wouldn’t you get along with?

Leliana would trouble me. Don’t like having someone this emotional and vindictive managing our intel networks. It’s bad juju, Ambassador; can’t trust her judgment, can you? And that feels like a loose end. Put us in a tight spot someday. Couldn’t we ask Varric…? No, I quite see that. Still. 

I’d understand Vivienne, and try to maintain a cordial relationship because I think most of her head is in the right place, even though she is entirely too power-oriented for a real friendship. 

Blackwall’s “find Darkspawn, kill them, repeat” approach would bother me. When I found out the truth about him, it would confirm my feeling that you need to lie to yourself, a lot, to just have enemies and kill them without compunction. I would also find myself highly influenced by Solas’s take on the Wardens. 

18. Who would you romance?

I’m a Circle mage who’s watched close friends be tormented by romantic love. Demonic possession and Tranquility. Babies taken away. This is not the kind of conditioning that disappears just because you take me out of a Circle. In my youth I worked it out by restricting myself to impossible love objects—there was this one Templar, very stern, very disciplined…he’d barely speak to me… Well. That was many years ago. 

That said, the best impossible love object I’ve ever encountered in my life is Solas. 

What does it matter, really? Bonds of friendship, don’t you know; romantic love leads to envy demons. I’m old now, at any rate. Inquisigeezer not exactly a romanceable character. 

19. Would you do pranks with Sera?

Probably not. Too busy. Too tired. Feel too much sympathy for her innocent victims. 

But I would do operations with Sera, with pleasure. 

20. Would you sleep with the Iron Bull (casually if not romance)?

My front-line bodyguard? Get on with you. It would get too complicated—for me, I mean, not him. 

21. Would you keep Cole around?

Yes. And I’d agonize about what would be the best path for him to take, and probably make him a spirit.

22. Can you play the game (politics)?

Yes. I’m better at it the more distant it is. If you’re talking about what to say at a party, I’ve developed a persona for that sort of thing. Stakes are high. Can’t be fooling around. A mage, remember? This guard drops, I get possessed; lose my temper, might incinerate you, can’t have that. 

23. What would be on your tombstone in the fade (What are you afraid of)?

“The world fell apart on my watch.”

24. Who would you recruit to seal the breach?

Mages. I understand mages. Their leadership’s been simply awful. Not sure what Fiona did with her spine. Without decent leadership, it’s mages running amok, trying to protect themselves, doing awful things out of fear; can’t have that, they’ll pull their own house down. Get them out of the weeds, stick ‘em in the Inquisition, give them a chance to show what they can do for the right cause. 

25. Opinion on Mages versus Templars?

It’s all about training, though, isn’t it? Templars and mages both need much, much better training. Without training, without a penetrating education with a solid grasp of magical theory, history, ethics—co-train the mages and templars, make ‘em take core courses together. Make them work together in strike teams; I’ve been doing that since we recruited ‘em, they actually partner well, as long as you’re not, you know, mad.

I would become obsessed (do you see the recurrence of this word) with the idea that mages could be Seeker-trained to resist possession and mind control, obviating the need for Tranquility. These disciplined (another key word) and trustworthy mages could be placed in a position of joint authority with properly educated Templars to create a College of Magi with research cells all over Thedas…

Yeah. We’ll see how that works out.

26. Who would be put in charge of Orlais and why?

Celine and Briala. Celine is the one with the right temperament, and for some reason I viscerally understand Briala. I’m all about reparations and integrating elven populations and something something protect the Dalish (can’t we actually give them the Dirth?).

27. Would you sacrifice the Chargers?

I couldn’t.

28. Would you go after Blackwall?

Oh, yes. And I’d keep him on, as Thom Rainier. 

29. Would you drink from the well?

Knowing me? Not knowing the implications except for those vague warnings? Yes, I would, and it would affect me for the rest of my life. 

I’d spend what’s left of myself using whatever insight and connections the Well gave me to work on Solas. 

30. Where would you go if the Inquisition was disbanded?

Under ordinary circumstances, the College. Daresay they’d want me to do something draining and administrative because of my being the (ex)Inquisitor; I’d look for a research niche but probably not get to keep it. 

Solas is not ordinary circumstances. I’d dedicate the rest of my life to that problem. 

31. How do you react to the egg telling you he is an elven god? 

I’d naively and arrogantly imagine that I could—if we could just get enough time to sit down together—he must understand what he’s likely to bring about, he needs people to talk to, dammit—

He would be the death of me, I’m afraid.