#my little mothman my sweet boy my little man

[wilwywaylan]

Happy Barricade Day where our lovely characters have fun in the park and go to a protest that goes perfectly well before going to the park and laying in the grass and everything is perfect and...

I had that idea floating around since Feuilly's week last year, and this is as good a Barricade Day drawing as any :D I call it the "Because" drawing because of the pose they used during the song "Because" in the movie "Across The Universe".

That one took "only" 19 days to do, and I'm very, very proud of it !!!

Bahorel's awesome shirt comes from @crow-songs-at-dawn.

Happy Pride, everyone !

That one also has a text by @crow-songs-at-dawn that goes with it !

--

Nothing or no-one could resist Prouvaire's puppy eyes. This was a well-known fact among the Amis : when their resident dreamer wanted something really, really badly, he'd use his ultimate weapon. Even R knew to stop ranting about the bleakness of life and the futility of the cosmos when those heterochromatic eyes turned to him. So when Montparnasse felt the puppy eyes turn on him, he crossed his arms and shook his head.

No. It's not happening.

Please?

A picnic in a park with all your friends sounds like a special kind of hell. Will I have to sign a petition?

Three, at least.

Oh joy.

Must you be so dramatic? It's just for an afternoon, it'll change from your usual nightly hobbies, I know. Montparnasse rolled his eyes and :

I'm not sure I'd enjoy spending all that time having Enjolras look at me like a disapproving parent, or lecturing me about something or other that really doesn't need to be his problem.

I know he can be intense.

He likes the sound of his own voice. A bit like - whatshisname - Alphabet Boy. Prouvaire cocked his head and tried to hide a smile.

You're just being difficult on purpose. You like R and don't even try to deny it.

Not enough to share a martini with.

You don't share martinis with me, either.

You don't like martinis.

I like you when you've had a few, though…

Flirting won't get me to say yes to -

But Prouvaire didn't let Montparnasse say another word before pushing him down on the bed and kissing him. They were still undressed and it was a sunny summer morning, and kissing Montparnasse was always one of Prouvaire's favourite things to do. Usually because it got his grumpy night-owl boyfriend to mellow out and smile. Ah, there was the smile he was looking for, along with a crinkle in those dark eyes.

Me trash-talking your friends turns you on a little, does it?

Only because I know you're not really serious.

Is that a challenge? Alright then. Someone really should tell Pontmercy that the entire "starving student with a heart of gold" aesthetic wasn't cool even when it was.

No-one says "cool" anymore, 'Parnasse.

Of course they do. What they don't say anymore is anything on the lines of "fantastic" or "amazing", or whatever else Mothman seems to have read in Pride and Prejudice. Or those wierd interjections Joly seems to emit like some sort of human shaped infrawave.

Prouvaire couldn't help but smile and placed a kiss on Montparnasse's collarbone.

You're horrible.

Promise, I won't tell them you find me hilarious.

I'm dating a criminal, I like to live dangerously.

I applaud your bravery. But I'm still not spending the afternoon with them. Seeing so much sweetness makes my teeth ache.

Cosette and Marius are adorable, I know.

Still amazes me she'd choose him, she seemed to be the only sensible one of your group. I suppose appearences are decieveing, she chose Eponine as well, after all.

So did you at some point, if rumours are true. Did Montparnasse feel the tell-tale signs of a blush creeping up his neck? If he did, he ignored them and countered with a cocky grin.

The same rumours like those who say you and Muscle Man had a burning romance before he turned his sights to the resident squirrel?

Well, you've seen the muscles Bahorel has, you can understand the attraction.

Hmmm… I've seen more attractive since.

Now who's attempting flattery?

Prouvaire managed to slip out of bed and out of Montparnasse's arms. It was soon going to be time to leave if they were going to be on time for the picnic. Everyone would be bringing a dish and he'd spent a good chunk of the previous evening making rice salad and some special brownies. Enjolras would frown at the extra ingredient but even he would eat some because he was nowhere near as tight-laced as Montparnasse tended to think. Rummaging through his drawers while getting dressed he found something he'd forgotten he ever had and threw it towards the bed, smiling as the other young man caught the object. And then turned those pretty brown eyes towards him.

How are heart-shaped sunglasses supposed to make me change my mind?

They're not, I just think you'd look really really good in them. You'll be turning heads.

I do that already.

Sue me for wanting to show you off. There came an almost amused laugh. This was a very good sign - he could read Montparnasse like an open poetry book and they'd be on their way to Montsouris Park together. He just needed a little more time.

Come on, get up.

Jehan. I'm not coming.

Please? Don't you want to see how verbose R can get after a couple of space brownies?

Does the man ever shut up is the thing I'm more interested in.

Bossuet and him have been known to talk an entire night, I've been witness to a few of those conversations, and Musichetta has said so herself.

Why are all the women in this friend goup attracted to wierdos?

Says the one who dated Eponine.

Better dating 'Ponine than, I don't know, Pontmercy. I'd have died of boredom.

Oh, you'd have found a thousand ways to spice things up. So, will you be wearing black, or black to our little picnic?

I hate you so much.

Montparnasse finally relented and got out of the messy bed and started to dig through his clothes. Those damn puppy eyes had won again.

I swear if Gavroche says one single thing about these sunglasses, I'm gone.

You get riled up so easy by a ten year-old.

He's extremely annoying. Perhaps Feuilly can take him on his next boring museum trip and lose him there. Prouvaire came closer and grinned, playing with the heart-shaped sunglasses on Montparnasse's nose.

You're finding less and less reasons to rag on my friends, it's funny.

Some are less annoying than others.

You didn't find anything to say about Courfeyrac, I noticed.

He wears a bowtie.

The audacity~

----

Happy Barricade Day, everyone :D

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 22

Good lord y'all I am never doing a 2 week edition of the Spreadsheet ever again this is actually insane. Like this is the longest post I have ever made. There's like 35 fics on here :)

Anyway as always you can find the spreadsheet here and the masterlist of my recs (that is currently unupdated lol oops) here.

Recs below the Pedro!

Joel

Mothman Fever a one shot by @beskarandblasters

You meet a really hot guy at the Mothman Festival and almost hook up with him, then you meet him again at the Mothman Stakeout except this time he's not just Joel... he's MOTHMAN!!! This fic is so good. It's funny and hot and amazing. Lil element of sex pollen in there and ya know, my favorite, monsterfucking. Also the shirts reader wears had me hollerin'.

Deliver Me From Nowhere a series by @atinylittlepain

Joel got his sheep ranch in a sleepy Colorado town and decided to slow his life down finally. Delores comes speeding into it, literally, in desperate need of help. As of right now there's a prologue and chapter one out, but I've got a little insight into the full story, and just trust me. This fic is worth your time. It's soft, gentle, and sweet, but do not forget that Joel Miller is capable of so much violence. And he's a protector, a caretaker. I love the way the town feels like a character and the way Joel can't help but help her, and AGH. This fic, man.

No closer could I be to god a one shot by @proxima-writes

Okay so this is set in Jackson... you're the town preacher's wife and you are hooking up with Joel Miller. This fic is super hot. I fucking love infidelity fics and I love when there's a lil blaspemy and sacrilege in a fic and this is just such a good fucking example of that. And the ending is so good.

Guard Dog a one shot by @romana-after-dark

TW Dub con, but it's Joel not reader. Raider!Joel fucks with the wrong girl. Reader fucks Joel at gun point and like there's a gun blow job in there and he's so submissive and he's also obviously pretty into it? And then he's obviously very into it. This is was so unreasonably hot. Just like... oh my god? Joel on his knees and whimpering and begging to cum? Good dog…

Jizz Fingers a Joel (and others) series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

This is probably my favorite crackfic ever. A splorgimum (alien boy) from another planet can shape shift into anything you want and has various other special space boi powers that make hooking up with him a really good time. This so funny, like you will probably cackle out loud and have to find a way to explain what you're laughing at, but ummmm it's also pretty hot. And I refuse to be ashamed of wanting to fuck amorphous blob boy turned HBO Joel Miller. I mean have you seen what those Jizz Fingers can do?

Not so tough now, is she a one shot by @walkintotheriveranddisappear

Your cute lil raider group gets taken over by Joel's much scarier one. He needs to show your group that you are no longer in charge, and he chooses to ruin any authority you could possibly have by fucking you in front of them. TW NONCON. This is depraved and hot and terrifying. I loved the different ways the men in the group reacted too, from boldly participating to obvious disgust. Really shines a light on the spectrum of human depravity oof.

Oblivion a one shot by @thesummerpetrichor

Your boyfriend's dad is a sweet older man who you go visit sometimes, bake him things, talk about photography... Your boyfriend cheats on you. So you cheat back and let the guy take pictures. He sends those pictures to your boyfriend's dad... and suddenly sweet old man Mr. Miller is not so sweet anymore. TW Dub con, you totally wanted Joel but this is not how you wanted him. This is really hot and a little scary and just FUCK Yes. This is so fucking good

Pillow Queen a one shot by @beskarandblasters

You watch a porn video while Joel is sleeping beside you. He wakes up while you’re watching it. You tell him you want to try that position and he calls you a pillow queen. You prove him wrong. One thing I love more than almost anything else is proving a man wrong lmao. This is so fucking hot it's unreal. That got rode within an inch of his life lmao

All I did was what I had to do a series by @corazondebeskar-reads

I'm not 100% sure why I read this because if someone pissed even in my general direction in real life I'd literally cut their dick off and feed it to them... anyway that is not how I feel about it in fic apparently. Your raider!Joel's little pet or whatever and a new recruit thinks he can make a pass at you. Joel pisses in your mouth right in front of him and then shoots the fucker in the dick. Then he makes it up to you with some overstimulation :)

truth or dare a one shot by @joelscruff

Mean scary neighbor Joel, fuck yes!!! Your friends dare you to "see how far you can get" with your neighbor Joel during a game of truth or dare. You go over there and end up locked in his garage. There's elements of TW DUBCON here, but also he does give you a brief opportunity to leave. This is brutal. He's rough and a little gross about it and it is so hoooottttttttt!!!! And then there's this bit with a flashlight.... anyway I also would ditch these friends since you literally disappear for god knows how long and they don't even bat an eyelash like???

Something wretched about this a series by @covetyou

This is gonna be a series, but so far I've only seen chapter one,,,, Wherein Joel is a drug dealer and you need pain meds for your dad who is very ill. He can't work so you don't have ration cards, but you need ration cards to buy pain meds so he can work to get ration cards. Viscious cycle. Thankfully, Joel is accepting other methods of payment. The main kink in this one is pussy spanking and is so delicious oh my god. Reader is shocked by how much she likes it, honestly I think Joel is shocked by how much she likes it.

Joel + Veracruz

A Lesson in Blackmailing a one shot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles  

No reader in this one! Just Joel domming comandante Veracruz and Veracruz liking it way more than he probably should. Joel is so fucking mean and Veracruz is a brat but he ends up just being a pathetic mess jacking himself off in an alley and I love every second of this.

Dave

Notes on Tutoring a series by @honestly-shite

Dave is your new music tutor and you are down real bad for him even though he's a major fucking asshole. You end up fucking him and then a lot of shit goes down and literally any other summary I can think of is full of spoilers. But this fic, y'all. Oh my god. The way Dave is characterized is so frustrating and so so good. It's perfect. Every detail that is slowly revealed about him is so perfect. The instrument(s) he plays, the music he likes, his background, where he's from, what went down before you met, all of it, is so perfect. The ending may possibly make you mad? But I liked it. I thought it made perfect sense for these two characters.

The Princess and the Duke a series by @theywhowriteandknowthings

Originally just Murder Daddy Kinktober Day 3 prompt "Daddy please" and then followed up with Kintober Day 4 prompt "Risk of getting caught," this is now a series so I'm reccing it as such. And FUCK it is hot. Dave is very much still Murder Daddy but he's so soft and sweet for reader... I mean he's still a scary and dominate motherfucker, but it's hot and the fucking tenderness and vulnerability he shows with reader has me fucking reeling dude.

Din

Taungsdays, am I right? a one shot by @theywhowriteandknowthings

You and Din get attacked by some sort of horny tentacle monster alien thing and it gives you both the fuck of your life, basically. The horny tentacle monster basically wants to fuck you both but also wants to you and Din to fuck. If you like tentacles and/or sex pollen and a lil m!receiving assplay, this fic is so for you. Also even though you didn't exactly consent to getting railed by a tentacle monster, you and Din love each other and are pretty sexually adventurous so it's a good time for everyone involved lol.

Bleed for me a series by @saradika

Din is the mand'alor and a vampire and you are his chosen one, the one he will keep to feed and fuck and whatever else... but you have a secret reason for even volunteering to be chosen in the first place... I'm obsessed with the world building, with the suspense, with the characterization. I'm in love with this fic UGH. It's so fucking good. Din is so hot and scary and perfect in every way. Reader is such a badass too like... girl that is a terrifying situation you have put yourself in. The plot twist is everything. I love thissss

A Place of Safety a series by The_InvisibleWoman (AO3)

Okay so you're a bounty and Din picks you up and he goes to take you in, actually does take you in, but something is just fucking off about the whole thing. And then there's a lil grogu situation, reclaiming the bounty and all that. He decides to try to find her somewhere safe to live and in the process he falls for you and you fall for him and it is so fucking sweet and beautiful and perfect and I love it so much. There are currently 34 chapters and it's ongoing and I am ravenous for this fic fr.

Whispers in the Dark a series by @kewwrites

TW NONCON!!! This is the darkest Din fic I've ever read. It's fucked up on so many levels, man. Read the warnings and be fucking careful because it's got probably 99% of all the triggers possible. Kew, baby, are you okay? That being said, I loved it. It didn't feel like it was glorifying Din's behavior or justifying it or anything. It was just a beautiful and painful representation of what a broken man is capable of and what it can mean for a person to be wrapped up in that with him. If you can handle it, you should read it. This one will stick with you

Frankie

A Fond Farewell a series by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

Angela has written something so beautiful and so painful. It's real, raw, and it fucking hurts. If you're looking for angst this is the fic for you lol. I really loved Frankie in this. I also really really adored Santi's character. This fic is gorgeous. It's one of those things where shit keeps getting in the way of something that should be easy and it makes you want to scream and cry and throw shit. It's also largely based on real events, which just makes it hurt a little more because Ang is my soul mate :')

Slumber a one shot by @write-and-buried

A filthy, lovely, consensual somno fic with a bit of squirting. Frankie is feral and he is so hot in this oh my god. I loved every single second of this fic. Frankie is so in love with you it's adorable and maybe a little gross. Which is just very Frankie. I've read this three times in 2 weeks.

Frankie + Tommy

Group Therapy a one shot by @beskarandblasters

we're pretending therapists don't have a code of ethics because holy shit this is hot. Frankie goes to therapy for his trauma and meets Tommy Miller (who says he looks just like his brother Joel). Frankie and Tommy both have their eyes set on one of the group's therapists. They ask you to go for a drink at the American Legion next door and it's not long at all before you've found a back room and then you fuck them both... Frankie is so soft and adorable through almost the whole thing and then he's fucking you and goes feral and it is so hot dude

Javi P

Drenched a one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

Me and Ang had some brainrot about Javi P wherein we discussed the fact that we would let this man do things we have never let any man do before. This resulted in a beautifully wet fic where you get covered in spit and cum. And it is so hot.

Carmen: Darlin' Darlin' a series by @thesummerpetrichor

You're the ambassador's daughter and you get dragged to this weekend get away thing for the DEA and Javier Peña is there. What follows is flirting and teasing and getting fucked in public and it is amazing. I love the reader character so much. Fiesty little mean ass bitch that she is, she's just like me. This whole thing reeks of daddy issues, and again I say, she's just like me. This fic is so hot.

Video Games a one shot by @thesummerpetrichor

Yes, I did in fact read the whole masterlist, don't look at me. DADS BEST FRIEND JAVI P???? I have never read a dbf!javi, I'm pretty sure. This is so angsty and hot and perfect. The way they dance around each other for literal years (yeah I'm pretty sure that's grooming, but I don't think it was intentional... moving on) and then finally they just crash together and it is so hot. The way he talks you through it and he's so tender and soft and perfect fuck. It's like the Javi from those scenes with Helena or Elisa where that asshole exterior is gone and that overwhelming tenderness you know he has in him comes out and just UGH. Perfection.

Off to the races a one shot by @thesummerpetrichor

I told you. The whole masterlist. Anyway. In this one, you're a sociology student doing research at the embassy and you're relegated to the DEA offices where you go about making Javier's life a living hell. Eventually he caves and fucks you over his desk. And then it becomes a whole toxic thing that is just so perfectly Javi and I love it so much and also the smut is ungodly hot.

Murder Daddy Kinktober Day 5: Who Does This Belong To? a one shot by @theywhowriteandknowthings

dude... Javi kissed another girl and you want to remind him who he belongs to so you tie him up, get him all worked up, make him confess his sins, and then untie him and leave the apartment, where he is left to pathetically jack himself off and be ashamed of himself. FUCK this is so hot. I love bratty whimpering pathetic Javi.

Dieter

Candy a one shot by @secretelephanttattoo

Dieter takes you to a closed down carnival and you suck his dick in the house of mirrors and it is delicious. I'd like to go on random adventures with Dieter... *sigh*

Crumbs, sloppy seconds, and backwash a one shot by @chloeangelic

Dieter is not so great at the whole monogamy thing, and you know this. You're actually into this, which means you've gotten yourself into a toxic cycle of encouraging the behavior and then regretting it. I love how desperately they need each other and how much you can tell they care for each other. I really fucking love the ending. I love how it’s a bit toxic, but there’s little hints in there that Dieter is trying to be what she wants. AHHH I can't believe this is her first Dieter. 

Unwind a one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

You have a terrible day and you start your period and it's just awful. Dieter takes care of you and it is the sweetest most lovely thing. So fluffy and perfect and wonderful ughhhh I love him so much.

Ghost in the sheets a one shot by @proxima-writes

As a lover of shitty paranormal investigation shows, this was fucking incredible. Dieter is such an annoying little shit in his somehow endearing way and I love him. I loved all the ghosty bits and the flirting and the bickering and AGH. I don't think I'd be down to fuck in a haunted attic irl, but maybe Dieter could convince me lol.

Max Phillips

Lust for a vampire a one shot by @idolatrybarbie

You're a bartender at a vampire themed strip club and after your shift the whole vampire thing gets a little too real. Max is so hot and he fucking turns you and it's so good FUCK. I love the freakiness of the location he takes you to also, really adds to the vibe.

A Real Challenge a one shot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Oh my god? Max making you wear a plug to work and then making you push it out and then fucking you in a conference room and then making you fucking leave the office in a very embarrassing way that I won't spoil. I'm panting.

Oberyn AND Max Phillips

a court of fangs and foxgloves a one shot by @psychedelic-ink

Oberyn is the lord of a vampire court and you were turned in order to serve him, but you left, uncomfortable with the bond formed when a vampire lord turns you. You regret this decision and come crawling back and Oberyn makes your life hell about it. He isn't exactly ready to forgive you, but instead of killing you for being an insolent little shit he fucks you and his other little pet Max about it. Well actually he fucks Max and Max fucks you... semantics. This is hot.

Maxwell Lord

Working Overtime a oneshot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles 

Dismantling internalized homophobia one rim job at a time! Maxwell doesn't think he'll like getting his lil ass ate out but oh boy is he wrong. And his jizz covered desk is pretty clear evidence of that.

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I'm not even gonna rec my own fics because this is unreasonably long lmao.

[doctorhouse5343]

It was with a fancy glass of Mt Dew Voltage and Jalapeño Cheddar Lays chip that the Endlesstein family were celebrating the New Year (they already had a party with his siblings the week before and it was safe to say that most of them went overboard, leading to hilariously awful photos perfect for the family album), in their very comfortable pajamas. Morpheus rested his head in the crook of Hob's neck, peppering it with light kisses before moving to his cheeks to rub against the hair there, a grin on his face as he was rewarded with adorable giggles from the journalist.The doctor could spend days making his lover laugh, to see those beautiful brown eyes twinkle with happiness as they squinted a bit....and that smile. God, it dragged out all sense of reason within him, it drove him madder than the hatter. Everything about the man made his heart flutter : The grey in his brown hair, the way he tied it back into a messy bun, the hairs on his body (and his amazing chest rug, his glorious thighs and legs.hmm yes)

A small hum left his lips as Hob pulled him onto his lap, kissing his nose while cradling the doctor's head against his chest "I really am the luckiest bloke alive...I have an amazing boyfriend that can treat my wounds when I get hurt and a sweet son" He ruffled Orpheus' hair, smiling as the little boy beamed in happiness at him, looking at the T.V screen. They had decided to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas to make the countdown much more enjoyable, all under the judgmental gaze of Cori, the little hamster that they got a week ago. The journalist however suspected that the small mammal was truly evil and was simply bidding his time, waiting for the moment to ruin his precious hair (Hob took a lot of pride in it and he insisted on putting all scissors out of the fuzzy maniac's reach). Soon the countdown began and, as the clock struck midnight...the pair exchanged a loving kiss

"Happy New Year, my love! May this year be one that we can share together, forever and always" Hob kissed Morpheus' lips once more "My goal of the year is to gather proof to finally publish my groundbreaking article". The doctor frowned a bit at that "Hob, dear..I love you and all but Sharron is not The Mothman's cousin. She's just...odd.That's all" Those words began the start of a long ramble about his lover's coworker, making him chuckle a bit as he watched him fondly. The year 2023 gave him wonderful things, 2024 will certainly do so much more

Happy New Year everyone! Massive thank you to everyone that enjoy the sillies that I post/who follow me on this wonderful ride that is 'Love In The Lab', I appreciate all of you :) More chapters and small stories will come so stay tuned, my lovely dream sheeps

[the-fat-raccoon]

top five scents top five animales

top 5 scents!!

I chose to interpret this as scents I like to wear as perfumes candles bodywashes etc because choosing my top 5 scents ever is far too much of a world changing decision to make. So here's a look into what I most commonly smell like I guess

Vanilla/Cotton Candy

A toss up because I usually wear these hand in hand. A sweet treat. A delicious scent combo for the ages. I smell like a carnal carnival carnie and everybody wants to be my girlfriend when I smell like this. This is real. This is real life. You couldn't handle this scent combo.

Cherry/Blackberry

Another toss up! I like cherry scents because they also sometimes just smell like candy red. and also because my color pallete irl is black and red so it's on theme to smell like these. But I have a perfume that smells like both black cherries and blackberries that I got for the holidays and it smells so delightful.

Lemon

Lemon scent is like a gender to me its like a long lost childhood friend it's like a soldier in the trenches with me with which I shared an intimate night it's a narrative motif to me you would not understand my relationship with lemon scent if you tried. God made the fruit of knowledge and apple because he knew the tart and sweet olfactory sensation that is a lemon would be far too tempting no snake required and he had to give us a fighting chance.

Doritos Cool Ranch

A manly scent for men. Best paired with far too much axe body spray and a set of 50 pound dumbbells. This is for MEN ONLY. No boys allowed.

Rain

It smells good tee hee. I love a candle that smells like right after it rains. I don't carry an umbrella so there have been occasions where I've become a sopping wet pathetic rain smelling creechjre.

Top 5 animals!!!

Raccoon

Love these little guys so much. LITERALLY ME!!(REAL!!!!!!)

Garden Snail

Oughhh. the Thing. 🐌 <- full of love and so so big. If I could I would show this creature the whole world because I know it is the only being capable of fully appreciating all the wonders of life. a snails can have a kissies as a treat.

Mothman (somewhere between. animal and man)

I know him personally

Sharks

These creatures used to scare me but I know now they are actually very kind and friendly and smooth friends. I'll only ever see them in person at aquariums tho, scared of the ocean.

Fireflies

When I was really young we used to get these every summer and I loved to catch them. I don't know if it's because I've moved since then or climate change or what, but I don't see them much anymore and it makes me sad. I miss evenings in June through August filled with hundreds of tiny little living lanterns in the sky. I miss my happy glowy flying friends :< whenever I see them now I make an effort to go out and run around and let them land in my hand and stuff. Sometimes I'll catch a few but now that I'm older I know better and I release them a few songs after. Fireflies if you're reading this I love you and miss you. :<

[lates-kin-reblogs]

Tag List

nothing too serious just really needed a place to help keep my Shit Organized

Anime Greed - get bitches fuck money Bido - lizard on my leg Ed - shrimp is a deadly sin Kunikida - paper flowers Dazai - wilting daisy Aki - pineapple coconut Vash - stampede!!! Wolfwood - the worst priest Noe - sweet tooth Vanitas - ange de lune bleu Ozpin - wizard in a tower Roman - foxy firework Qrow - pretty bird Laios - to be a dog Chilchuck - no chill for the chuck

Live Action Castiel - clarence "hot wings" thursday Dean - narrative's favorite The Doctor - clever boy The Master - here come the drums Jack Harkness - 21st century man Ianto - those beautiful welsh vowels Geralt - wake the white wolf House - you wish you were autistic Wilson - multiple divorcee Hannibal - i only eat the rude Will - honey grahams Myers - sunglasses at night Lestat - lelio rising Mark S. - mr. scout was my father Herbert - re-animator re-animated Daniel - dan the man

Cartoons Cadence - there are 7 kinds of love Lego Joker - john jacob jingleheimer schmidt Dib - agent mothman reporting Zim - alien alone Dakota - whataya gonna do Cavendish - no more fucks to give Tobey - robits > people Wordgirl - genderneutral word nerd Adrien - cheesy chat Warden - several cats in a tophat Glam - german glamrock dad Larry - barbara manatee Angel - celibate succubus Alastor - strawberry deercake Lou - regretful prideful asshole Ox - ear runner

Games: Ingo - reeses puffs eat em up Arven - arfen N - natural order Blixer - ballroom blix Blue Square - little scarf hero Loboto - son be a dentist Sasha - #1 kitschy lamp hater Milla - flower power Harry - discotech Kim - car men are horse girls Connor - sentient toaster Hank - burger boomer Wheatley - try saying apple Stanley - 427 blaze it Narrator - unreliable heartthrob Balan - i beg your absolute pardon Zhongli - amnesiac archon Xiao - almond dreams Yakumo - snake in the grass Eiden - reluctant harem master Edmond - white chocolate knight Olivine - midlife rebellious phase Newton - get in the can "Blue" - behind blue eyes Hollow - post traumatic bug disorder Heisenberg - manta horse wolf Twogami - nice to be ya Big Daddy - somewhere beyond the sea Silverhand - rockerboy roommate V - johnny take the wheel Kerry - kiss me kerosene Jackie - a splash of love Sam - don't mess with the postman Higgs - your obedient servant Astarion - legally blonde: waterdeep Gale - boots for brunch

Fallout specifically (help) Codsworth - hello metal husband Preston - another settlement needs your help Nick - be my valentine Hancock - for the people MacCready - toy soldier Deacon - like to slap his bald head Danse - just danse 2015

Other Elias - mr. behind the slaughter Jon - behelden ring "Michael" Distortion - technicolor dreamboat Rod - gay republican puppet Nicky - nicholas picholas Wally - hello autism Benrey - loveletterforyou Gordon - gordo feetman Bright - dr brightside Techno - my kingdom for a love Philza - minecraft anime husband Cronus - purple fish sticks Galekh - citation pines Peter - the man in glass Juno - junebug Blitz - bossuva hell Stolas - flamingo croquet headass

[aphrodite-made-me-write-it]

12 Days of Holiday Fics

Day Four: How To Introduce Your Girlfriend To Your Superhero Family

(A/N) did u guys know cinnabon sells just the centers now? like??? slap me in the ass and choke me out??? bitch???? anyway i ate one and can feel the sugar rotting my teeth v pleased w the taste it’s been years since my last bun sldkf yet again saving this in my drafts long before it’ll be posted. hi future me, how’s the nog? i know ur drunk ass has some eggnog by now. jealous. anyway xoxo babes

Rating: G (General Audience ^-^)

Warnings: Found Family Tropes Abound!; i toy w an idea of an r with powers to see how u guys receive it (if it sounds cool lmk); The Avengers Are Embarrassing But You Love Them Anyway

Pairing: Darcy Lewis x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1k

Synopsis: You bring your girlfriend over for holiday dinner with your family. Unfortunately, your family is the world’s most powerful superheroes and they just so happen to love embarrassing you.

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |

“And you have to promise you won’t be embarrassing,” you say for the millionth time. “Like, talk like normal people and don’t be weird.”

“You’re only making it weird by giving us this talk,” Natasha points out with an amused chuckle.

“I like Darcy,” Thor grins, “she-”

“Tased you once and that will not compare to what I’ll do to you if you embarrass me in front of my girlfriend,” you warn, earning a kicked puppy look from the Asgardian.

You’ve been with the Avengers pretty much since the initiative first started. You had once been a private detective, your ability to see past, present, or future by holding objects making you damn good at your job. Naturally, SHIELD wanted you among their ranks and to be honest it sounded a lot more exciting than what you already did. 

In that time, you’ve kept your dating life rather quiet. It’s not that you don’t enjoy dating, really, but it’s hard to find someone to connect with given your abilities allow you more insight into their life than either of you want. Then there was the occasional date with someone who was actually going to go to jail for something, which was awkward, and yeah… the whole mess wasn’t really worth it.

So when Thor suggested a double date with his girlfriend and her best friend, you were more than hesitant. You wanted to humor him though, because Thor is one of your closest friends and the guy is just too damn sweet to say no to. To say you were surprised the date went so well would be an understatement.

You’ve been dating Darcy for ten months. Ten glorious months. It’s amazing, how everything you didn’t get about dating before suddenly clicks into place with Darcy. She’s smart, funny, she gets all of your jokes, plays along with your sarcasm- she’s perfect for you, and you don’t want to ruin that.

Of course, she knows about your abilities and has even asked about them. You don’t mind sharing them with her. She also, obviously, knows what you do for a living and who you work with. That being said, you have been dreading bringing her to the Tower to meet the others.

It’s not that you don’t love your teammates. You do. They’re the only family you have - at least, the only one you care about. But they are so goddamn embarrassing- 

“Doctor Lewis has arrived,” announces JARVIS. “Shall I let her in?”

“I’ll go meet her!” You yelp, ignoring the laughter behind you as you stumble to the elevator.

You hope you don’t look as nervous as you feel. You’re frantically adjusting your sweater when you open the door to find Darcy doing the exact same thing. She stops when she sees you, a shy smile on her lips.

“Hey, you,” she greets.

“Hey yourself,” you grin, pulling her inside and giving her a long, sweet kiss. 

“You look nervous.” Darcy notes, pulling away from the kiss and joining your hands together. 

“Do I?” You blush. “I mean, they’re a little much, Darce.”

“They’re literal superheroes,” the brunette snickers as you load into the elevator. “They can’t be that bad.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised.” You groan. 

The door opens, and to your chagrin, everyone is sitting peacefully at the dinner table. To the untrained eye, this would seem like the perfectly normal scene: your friends waiting patiently for you to introduce them to your girlfriend, the food still hot and steaming. You, however, are not the untrained eye. These little shits are up to something.

Introductions go by suspiciously smoothly. Light conversation follows, only the occasional teasing from your friends. They ask Darcy about her work, all totally normal.

It’s Pietro who starts shit first. “Hey, did (Y/N) ever tell you about the time in Bangladesh when she-”

“Don’t. You. Dare.” You warn, glaring at the boy with a venomous expression.

“-tried to convince Wanda that-”

“I’m warning you, Maximoff,” you growl. “Finish that sentence, and-”

“Oh, that time she tried to convince me she could predict what others would do better than I could? And she ended up mistaking a woman for being pregnant when she wasn’t?” Wanda snickers.

You groan. “How was I supposed to know she had her baby two years ago?”

“They’re your powers!” Darcy snorts with laughter. “How can you not tell when it’s the past or the future?”

“Wanda distracted me!” You huff. 

“Remember when you thought you could beat Yelena at Mario Kart and she made you cry after the first lap?” Natasha adds.

“I wasn’t crying!” You protest. “I was sweating from my eyes!”

“When she wanted to tell me she loved me,” Darcy cuts in. Oh no. “She spent at least ten minutes trying to figure out how to word it to see how I’d react.”

“Only ten minutes? Her little brain must have been working overtime.” Tony nudges your shoulder with his and you resist the urge to plant your face into the mashed potatoes. 

To your horror, the rest of the meal is spent sharing awful stories about you. Darcy is smiling and laughing the whole time, but her hand never leaves yours. She keeps giving you these sidelong glances full of adoration that make all the teasing worth it. 

By the end of the night, you’re both warm with wine as you pull her into your room and connect your lips. 

“I’m sorry about them,” you mutter. “They’re-”

“Your family.�� She finishes, kissing you again. “I get it. And I like them.”

“Don’t let them hear that, it’ll go right to their fat heads.” 

She chuckles, pulling you closer and leaning her forehead against yours. “You’re still my favorite, though.”

“I better be.” 

(You’ve never spent the holidays with someone you love like this before. You’re really starting to see what all the hype is about. Especially when she drags you under the covers, arms and legs tangling with yours until you can’t be sure where your bodies begin and end.)

(Just wait until the rest of the Avengers get back from their missions.)

(Yelena might give Darcy a run for her money in terms of snark.)

~General Tag List!~

@nobody13 @fireflyglass @swords-are-cool @artapdarkstr @pasta-bandit @multi-images @women-am-i-right @fanboy7794 @simplysimping999​ @ohmygooddamnbisexual-mood @jayreadingforfun314

//To be tagged, let me know if you want to be tagged for all my fics, a specific series, or a specific character!

[mothgenes]

hrgh

askbox is empty if anyone wants to send in asks for me to munch on

[monster-bait]

Hi, I see lots of people asking about stories of yours that you've taken down for publishing and it made me wonder. Do you have a place where people can read synopsis (plural??) of upcoming books/books that have been taken down? I saw the teaser for Sweet Berries at the end of your Farm book, but I don't know the one coming in 2022 I don't think and I wanna get hyped! (Have read Sweet Berries stories, but the book is gonna be bomb)

I don't have a synopsis landing page, but my website is about to get an overhaul, so that might be changing!

In the meantime, here's the tentative order of things:

Parties, GW book 2- Several months after a weekend girls' trip, suburban elves Lurielle, Ris, and Silva are still affected by their experiences at the resort and the orcs they met there.

Lurielle discovers that being in a multi-species relationship has its challenges: meeting Khash's family, introducing him to hers, and facing the harsh realities that lie ahead if they stay together. A lifetime together or a lifetime apart - she must decide if she can bear the heartache the future holds.

When Ris returns to the resort on a whim, an unexpected encounter with a slightly familiar face upends this elf's desire to be a free as the wind. Ainsley is simultaneously everything and nothing that she's looking for - smart and sexy and completely unattached . . . but how long can they "keep things casual?"

Silva struggles to juggle the expectations of her family and seeing Tate in secret until she becomes tangled in her web of lies, necessitating a choice - following the carefully mapped life of privilege her family has planned for her in their Elvish community . . . or throwing it all away to follow her heart, for a man with his own heart full of secrets.

Parties is a multi-POV story, following all three girls through a succession of soirees, each one winding their separate story lines - and the work friends - tighter together.

Sweet Berries - Grace has a job she loves, a community she adores, and plenty of friends . . . but her lack of bedroom action has left this event planner too horny to think. When one ill-advised night at the bar leads to her giving an exhibitionistic show to an unknown presence outside her bedroom window, she thinks she’d hit a new low. When her voyeur turns out to be a nebbishly charming mothman, Grace needs to decide if she can trust her body — and her heart — with this garnet-eyed stranger before he flys out of her life for good.

Sweet Berries is a monster/human romance novella featuring high heat and a lot of heart, with a guaranteed HEA. It is the second book in the Cambric Creek Romance series, and can be read as a standalone. CWs: human/nonhuman romance, nonhuman anatomy, size difference, exhibitionism

Pride - Don’t ever go into the forest alone, gorza, there are strangers there who will take you away.

She had grown up in the shadow of the forest, with the story of the boy who’d disappeared into its black confines having been passed down in her clan for generations. She never imagined the story’s subject might be real.

Nineteen, rebellious, and queer; trapped in a marriage she never wanted, Elshona wishes that she too could disappear from her life, never to be seen again. When she meets a sharp-toothed stranger in a pub, whose past bears more than just a passing resemblance to the tale she’s known all her life, she does the one thing she was taught not to do: follows him into the night, out the door and away from her family and all she knows, all the way across the sea.

Pride is a Girls Weekend side-story about Tate and Elshona: how they meet, their shared connection, and the pain of not being accepted and leaving home behind. It's a story of queer acceptance, chosen family, and the ties that bind us, for better or worse. CW: ALL the emotions

Moon Blooded Breeding Clinic - Returning to Cambric Creek is the last thing Lowell Hemming wants to do, but when his career as a photographer is put on hold, he’s not left with much of a choice. Suffocating under the weight of the Hemming family name and the confines of his small hometown, the monthly full moon is the only time he doesn’t feel trapped. When an intriguing flyer requesting healthy male werewolves catches his eye, he finds himself calling Moon Blooded Breeding Clinic, signing up as a donor for their catalog.

From the outside, recently divorced Moriah has everything - except the one thing she wants: a child of her own. Desperation pushes her to contact a very unconventional clinic with an unparalleled success rate . . . all she needs to do is align her reproductive cycle to the full moon and pick a werewolf from a catalog with whom to mate.

Moon Blooded Breeding Clinic will feature a high heat slow burn that examines real-world issues through the unique lens of Cambric Creek. CW: knotting, breeding, werewolf/human relationship.

Changes, GW book 3 - hahahaha, nope. Not yet!

Wheel of the Year - Ousted from her coven, hurting for clients, and struggling to keep her aging family home, socially awkward witch Ladybug is at the end of her rope. When she rents the attic bedroom to a silent, unsmiling drider, she thinks her life might be on the right track to improve; when she lets him into her bed, it will never be the same.

Wheel of the Year is a series of short vignettes, centered around the witch's sabbaths. CW: arachnophobia, spider anatomy, biological aphrodisiac, HUGE size difference, non-human/human romance.

Beneath the Linden Trees 1 - In a time of war and kings, the orcs of clan Duh’lar have secured the mountains for their own, and if adopting the customs of men is the only way to keep it, they will do what they must. Peace and prosperity follow, but when war comes to the Easterlands, the Lord of Linden Hall must decide if the orcs will honor their treaties.

Beneath the Linden Trees follows tree orcs and the women they love, and how the decisions of one affects the lives of the others:

Aurelie is a well-bred human Lady from the Easterlands, promised in marriage to the youngest son of the orc lord, sent away from her father's keep to her new home at Linden Hall. To her shock, her betrothed is warm and kind, well-spoken and indulgent . . . but after several weeks in residence in her new home, she has still not laid eyes on Tilianus, the orc she is to marry.

Lisette and Gelgrah, a witch destined for the stake and the orc who rescues her, have built their home at the base of the mountain, far from Linden Hall. When war comes to the mountains, Lisette realizes their little family is at risk of being torn apart.

Eh'lazar is an acolyte at the temple of the moon, learning the ancients arts from the high priestess, Eonar, before he is cast out for dabbling in darker magics. Hardening his heart, he cultivates a reputation as a powerful necromancer, capable of raising an army of the dead . . . but when war comes to the mountains, he must choose between cementing his power and the elf he once loved.

Beneath the Linden Trees will be a three-part series (for now) that should be read as a series. CW: typical period-era violence, human/non-human romance, size differences

Rosemary & Time - She had always known the way through the wood, until the day the wood changed.

When Thorn follows a light into the forest, the world she thought she knew falls away. Memories and lives already lived shift and dance in her head, obliterating reality and leaving her at the mercy of the fae to whom she is forever bound. Jack of the lanterns is the last person she ought to trust, but as she is thrust into the world of the high courts, he is all she has.

Surviving the treacherous Court of Autumn's capricious Queen and her deadly consort are only the start of Thorn's journey through the wood, and she must decide if she is willing to play their game forever . . . or free herself from her captor, the man she has loved for several lifetimes.

Rosemary & Time is a topsy-turvy journey through the world of the fae, where magic and memory weave a confusing tapestry, and where nothing is ever what it seems. It is a standalone story, but is connected to Girls Weekend, and recommended for the richest reading if both worlds. CW: it's the fae, baby. All the content warnings.

Reunions, GW book 4 - I promised happy endings for all my babies, and after a lot of suffering, this is the book in which they finally get it.

That's what I have planned for now!

[elareine]

JayTimSpooktober - Cryptids

“I don’t get it.”

“It’s a shadow,” Tim explained patiently.

Jason rolled his eyes. “Yes, I can see that, thank you. Why are you pointing a camera at it?”

“It might move.”

“It hasn’t done shit during the week you set up surveillance, but it will move now that we’re here with an entire crew and your camcorder, staring at it?”

“Maybe it’s into that.”

“Did you just imply that this Shadow… person… is kinky?”

Tim smirked. “You went there, not me.”

In a flash, Jason was up and walking toward the end of the small alley.

“Hey, Shadow Person!” he called out. “I’m getting a bit bored here. Wanna get kinky with your shadow tentacles?”

Tim groaned. “Jason…”

“Not even some shadow theatre?” Jason asked. “Everyone can do a dog and a tree. C’mon. Gimme something, I’m dying of boredom.”

Tim jumped up, something like genuine fear on his face. “Jason! I told you to stop provoking them, what if—“

Jason scoffed. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“People disappeared, Jason! We don’t know the answer to that, but it’s nothing good.” Coming to a stop next to Jason, Tim shivered. “Whoa. That’s quite the cold spot.”

“The freezer from the restaurant on the other side of the wall, you mean.”

“That would send out heat, not cold,” Tim shot back.

With a sigh, Jason slid off his jacket and draped it around the shorter man’s shoulders. “Sure. It’s totally a cold spot.” A wink at the camera. “Nothing else it could be. That’s why I’m fine with my shirt. Nothing to do with you being a total bean.”

Tim glared at him, but when they went back to their observational posts, he snuggled into the jacket all the same. “What’s got you so riled up about this one?” he asked.

Jason ran a hand through his hair. Shrugged. “Dunno. I just don’t get why this particular alley is any scarier then thousands of others in Gotham.”

“A kid is supposed to have died here.”

“Again—how’s that different from the rest of Gotham?”

“You know as well as I do that violence leaves a mark.”

Okay, Jason couldn’t argue with that, so he tried a different tack. “Even if this—this Shadow person exists—and that’s a huge if—what’s the big deal? I always wonder about that.”

Tim raised an eyebrow. “You wonder what’s the big deal about a Shadow Person that snatches those that walk by?”

“Yeah! That’s just your ordinary vigilante. Or, like, take the Yeti. What’s so cool about a hairy dude in the mountains eating tourists? At worst, that’s a serial killer. Nothing interesting about these dudes.”

“We have no actual evidence they eat people.”

“We have no actual evidence they exist, Tim.”

“We do!” Tim’s cheeks flushed, as always when he got into his area of specialty. “What else do you call the Indian army tweeting about it? And there was that one picture—“

Jason leaned back, the small smile on his face hidden from the camera, as Tim rambled on and on and on, only stopping when the sun finally rose.

After, when the crew had left and it was just the two of them debriefing, Jason said: “That was a nice touch, don’t you think? Nothing to talk about, no monster to speak of, so let’s bring up the Yeti.”

“I know you play it up the cameras, Jay,” Tim told him. “And the viewers love it. But deep down, I think you know I’m onto something here.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Drake.” Jason shifted uncomfortably. Something in Tim’s blue eyes was disconcerting.

“Oh, you can keep denying all you want, but I’ll have you admit it eventually.”

Jason couldn’t help but grin. “You’ll just have to convince me.”

Tim leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Then, while Jason gaped at him, stunned, he ran, hastily calling out: “LookingForwardToIt—byeee!”

Jason stared after him. His cheek burned when he lifted a hand to touch it. That was—did that mean—

…it meant he was acting like a schoolgirl in the fourteenth episode of an anime, that’s what it meant. He turned to the shadows. “Not a word.”

The darkness stayed silent. Good for it.

“Now, you seem to be new, so I’m cutting you some slack. This is my city. If you wanna feast on those who harm others, be my guest. I’m not gonna complain if some would-be rapists were to, say, vanish from the corner of Johnson and Third. But if you touch anyone innocent—or anyone that is mine—I will find you, and I will burn out what little is left of your miserable little existence. Understood?”

Jason let his eyes turn green just a little bit, a mere hint of what it was dealing with. It was enough for the shadow to shrink.

Jason nodded, satisfied. “Good night. Let’s not do this again.”

As he walked away, secure in the knowledge that nothing and no-one would block his path, he considered today’s filming. Tim was right—the people loved their banter. Team Sceptic vs. Team Believer and all that. Jason had seen shirts. Today’s subject would be fresh and exciting enough to keep the discussion going.

A Shade. Who knew. You’d think Gotham would be full of them, but this was actually the first one Jason had come across.

That was the thing with cryptids, though. Hard to predict which ones were real and which one only existed in the collective mind of an internet forum. And sometimes, the lines between those blurred. Just ask the Slenderman. Guy was a bit of a dick, though, so Jason didn’t exactly feel sorry for him.

He actually had no idea about the Yeti or the Chupacabra. The only reason Jason knew that Mothman was real was that he’d accidentally ran into him on a road trip once. Like called to like, and all that. The Lizard Man of Swamp Ore was, sadly, either a myth or very shy. Jason had spent enough time with Tim in that miserable tent to know.

Or maybe, the Lizard Man had just been afraid of him. It didn’t matter.

What mattered that Tim—sweet, curious, sharp-tongued Tim, the boy that Jason had met ten feet away from a vampire nest and had offered to start a show with just to stop him from entering—was safe. Would be safe, as long as Jason was by his side. The funny internet discussions were just a bonus.

[dirtyratkai]

Wrote again! Here's a small piece about Anjou and his schemey little father figure man. Also, keep in mind that Anjou is the only original character of mine in this story. The others are from The Adventure Zone, and my friend's interpretation of them in his campaign.

Anjou knocked on the front door of the Cryptonomica, and within a few seconds Ned Chikane appeared at the door.

"Wad'ya want? I don't want whatever you're sellin' " He was dressed in an old t-shirt and shorts. " 'ts too early for this shit" Ned stuck a hand into his unkept hair, scratching his head.

"Ned it's me-" Anjou smiled, looking him up and down. Ned's eyes hadn't even opened yet. "and it's half past noon." Anjou held back a small chuckle.

"O-oh! Of course!" A weak smile etched it's way onto the edges of Ned's face, his hand dropping from the silver-gray tufts of hair to the back of his neck, nervously rubbing it as he continued "I must've slept in a little...anyways, what are you doing here?"

Anjou's eyes widened with excitement and he clenched his fists together, bringing them up to his chest as he stood on his toes. "You said that today was cleaning day!"

Ned squinted at the boy, edges of his eyes crinkling against his aged skin. He hesitated before drawing out his words. "Yeah? I'm gonna clean out the Cryptonomica, I told you I was busy and couldn't hang out today" His hand dropped to his side.

Anjou was beaming. "I know! I wanted to help!" He was wearing an infectious smile.

Ned opened the door a little more and stepped to the side. If it had been anyone else, he would've politely declined and shut the door. He might've let Kirby help, but it would have been begrudgingly so. With Anjou, he accepted the request with no negative thoughts whatsoever.

Anjou bounced past Ned, heading into the main showroom of the Cryptonomica. Ned walked to the back, picking up a robe to cover himself with as he slid into a pair of Mothman slippers. "Put on a pot of coffee, would ya?" He called from the backroom. He began to groom his makeshift bedroom into order, cleaning various wrappers off of the floor and folding the blanket that lay on his cot.

The shop was mostly silent, the hum of a few cars passing by every couple of minutes was accented by the clattering of Anjou messing with the coffee pot. After a few minutes the earthy sweet smell of coffee filled the main room, beginning to spill into others as more time passed.

When the coffee was ready, Anjou poured a cup and set it to the side as he climbed onto the counter to reach the cabinets, pulling out the sugar. Jumping down, he entered Ned's room and grabbed creamer from the mini fridge, passing him as he sorted stacks of newspapers.

Knowing just how much of each to put in, Anjou stirred until the drink changed to a lighter pigment and started to smell softer and sweeter. Putting the creamer back, Anjou told Ned that his coffee was ready.

Ned joined him in the main showroom after a couple of minutes, grabbing his Bigfoot themed mug and taking a slow sip. Anjou inspected the bogus attractions, as he usually did whenever he came by the Cryptonomica to talk about monsters with Ned or hide from an angry Mama.

"So...besides basic tidying, what are we doing today?" Anjou was bent over a very poorly constructed paper mache griffon, head turned towards Ned.

"I think I wanna get rid of some of the attractions...make way for some newer ones." Ned hardened his jaw, concentrating on the imaginary new spectacles. Clicking his tongue, he continued "yeah. I definitely wanna get rid of the mermaid piece. I don't think using real fish bones was the best choice."

Anjou turned to see a couple flies crowding the miniature fake mermaid skeleton.

"A couple others as well. Like I said, they're pretty old. It'll do me some good to make new ones" Ned walked over the trash can and drug it over to the main show area. Anjou lifted the mermaid piece, carefully moving it with both arms toward the trash can. It was heavier than he had expected it to be.

Grabbing a broom from a nearby closet, Anjou started to sweep around the various podiums, making sure he got the dust that had collected underneath the rug as well. While sweeping under the carpet, Anjou spotted an unopened letter. It looked important.

Ned accepted the envelope from Anjou, taking out large reading glasses from his pocket and putting them on.

Anjou could only make out the large, red letters spelling out 'IRS' on the letter before Ned crumpled it into a ball and threw it away, nervously making up some excuse on the spot, refusing to look Anjou in the eyes when he pressed him on his cover-up story.

At one point, Anjou picked up a large clay sculpture of a magpie, only it had pointed teeth and blood red eyes, streams of black liquid trailing down its grotesque face. He brought it over to the small writing desk, setting it to the side as pulled himself onto the desk to sit down.

Ned was looking over a yellow notepad, writing out different attraction ideas and materials he would need to make them. "Do you know if we have pipe cleaners in the back storage closet?" He asked Anjou.

Not looking up from his newfound plaything, Anjou shrugged.

"Anjou?" Ned clicked his pen twice.

Looking up, Anjou realized that Ned had his back turned to him. "Oh- no. I mean, I dunno. I can go look-" Anjou started to move but Ned responded "No need- even if we do, I'll need more."

Going back to inspect the bird figure, Anjou noticed that there was writing on the bottom of the statue. He read the words out slowly, as if he was only processing them after saying them aloud. "Sculpted by Leo Tarkesian, 1965. Inspired by the tall woman that buys beef jerky by the pound."

Ned craned his head to look back at Anjou. "Hm. I never took Leo to be much of an artist." He chuckled. "You didn't make that up, did you?"

Anjou got up and brought him the monsterous creation. "No, look. It really does say that" He pointed to the engraved words.

Ned almost spit on Anjou, laughing. They decided to set that one aside for safe keeping.

Anjou reclaimed his spot on the desk and looked through a file folder, spying various notes and newspaper clippings that had been saved over the years. They mostly contained actual reports of Bigfoot spottings- some even had pictures. As they joked back and forth, Ned removed more attractions, rearranging the entire showroom in the process.

When the shop fell quiet, Ned noticed that for the first time in a while, he was content, happy even- to have company. He had grown accustomed to working alone over the years, avoiding partnering with others. Only, with Anjou, he didn't mind. He didn't know exactly when or why, but he now shared a bond with Anjou that he was intent on keeping.

No matter how messy Ned was, no matter what secrets his past held, Anjou accepted him fully. He was more than just a comrade in their desperate efforts against the monsters that would cross over from the gates of Sylvane. He was definitely more than just a tool to use against the abominations, as Ned would've thought at first.

Anjou was Ned's personal nightlight. Only, Ned wasn't afraid of the monsters in the dark- he was afraid of being alone again. He hoped that he wouldn't have to leave Kepler behind, like he had with so many other towns. Ned thought it would have been all over when Agent Stern unearthed his past, but Anjou had stuck by his side, persuading Mama to let him stay.

Anjou had become a perminant fixture of Ned's home. He was family.

And Ned hadn't felt that way about anyone in a long time.

[sohin-ace]

Mista - By the Silvery Moon

Werewolf Mista and his vampire girlfriend.

I wanted some soft spice so I made my own food.

You laid peacefully upon your boyfriend on his bed, bodies pressing deliciously against each other with the odd feeling of your temperature difference.

Somehow, never was it unpleasant for you to snuggle on the overbearing warmth of your favourite wolf and neither was it for him to feel the ice of your skin, refreshing on his furry skin.

It was basically a routine by now. You both could only see each other at night time, and Mista was busy as ever. Loyal as he was to his team he always did his best to be present for them at all times, even though it meant not having as much quality time to spend with his lovely girlfriend as he would like.

Tonight was one of those rare nights. He laid lazily on his bed and you would always come lay on top of him, showering him with affection and his most favourite belly rubs and head pats.

You both stayed in comfortable silence. Sometimes, you'd strike some casual mindless conversations, and it was those small moments that made your nights together so precious. Just being close to each other, regardless of species.

In the mondane vampire society that you belonged in, you'd be damned to not marry a man of your rank and class, and Mista would be equally damned to not mate with a proper omega from his own pack. But both of you couldn't care less for these old out-dated traditions. Nobody hardly followed those strict rules anyways nowadays, except for the most conservative of people.

Who cared if a vampire girl and a werewolf boy had fallen in love? Who would even stop you? You found each other and nothing could ever change that.

You were laying your head on Mista's broad chest and caressed the bits of skin on his exposed stomach, making the male shudder delightfully as he held your small frame flush against him.

He never got tired of rubbing your cold back, wondering how you could live with such skin of ice. He also never got tired of touching your hair, the scent of you even more prominent in it, driving him absolutely crazy.

You carefully lifted yourself up to stare at your lover who looked blankly up into nothing in particular on the ceiling, but instantly shot you a lazy and handsome smile as your eyes met. Gosh, he was so cute.

"Hello beautiful." He playfully called out and you grinned at his uncalled spontaneous cheesiness.

"Hi sexy~" You giggled and you could feel his torso spasm under you with his deep chuckle.

You moved to climb up just enough to get impossibly closer to his face and he let you do as you pleased, spreading his legs wider to ease your access and loosening his strong grip around you.

You looked over him with a fondness that was reserved for him only, and he knew there was nothing else in this eternal world of yours that you looked at with the same adoration in your eyes.

"Woah..." He breathed out through a lopsided grin "Girl, your eyes always make me feel some kind of way, dang... Shooting fucking bullets with those red eyes, somebody arrest you before you kill someone!"

"Oh shush, pup." You teased at his dorkiness and booped his nose. He hated it when you treated him submissively, but he never stopped you either.

"Hey, don't call me that! You freaky bloodsucker." He glared at you.

Ignoring his thoughtless offense you made yourself more comfortable on him, your personal mattress for the night, and proceeded to smooth your hands over his 3-days beard, caressing his cheeks and admiring his chiseled face.

You did remember Bucciarati convincing him to shave more often because of how fast Mista's facial hair grew. Funny advice coming from a Mothman who was half covered in fluff himself.

You had to resist the urge to peck Mista's very inviting lips as you hovered over him, propping yourself on your elbows at each side of his head. As sweet as you looked and as cute as you were in his eyes, the poor werewolf could not be immune to your intimidating and pressuring natural vampiric aura.

It was always a blurry thing, the natural hierarchy of monsters and humans. People fought everyday to make this unfair discrimination and hierarchy disappear, but no one could deny the strong overpowering aura some species had over others without even controlling it. Vampires, demons, sirens, titans among many others. Species that could make anyone else falter underneath them with just one look, one word, one step.

He trusted you with absolution to never do him harm and he was confident in his physical strength and power to counter anything, but truly, the intoxicating anxiety your glowy red eyes could put him through sometimes, prompting him to sweat and tightening his throat...

That was hot as hell.

"Come on..." He murmured more to himself than to you, but seeing his hungry gaze on your blood red lips so close to his, it was more than obvious what he wanted from you.

And you obliged. First, pecking his lips in a million tiny blooming kisses, almost too cutely for his own likings. Your sugary little smooches way too innocent for his current needs.

Fortunately for him, you were quick to catch on, or maybe it was on purpose that you teased him, he couldn't guess. Your shy fluttering pecks soon turned much longer, slower and more languorous with time, much to Mista's appreciation.

He couldn't help his big clawed hands from roaming along your back, eager to having you pressed even harder against him if that was possible, never getting enough of you.

Mista was the vocal type. You knew it wouldn't be long until he started making noises that would either alert the neighbours, or alert the most sensitive bugfolks that would most likely come check the commotion and maybe try to bask in some nice lamp light too while they were at it.

So, before he could ask for more, which he was eagerly expecting, you moved your lips to kiss along the corner of his mouth, to his prickly cheeks, then traveled down to his jaw and neck.

He released a low and animalistic growl at your defiance and lack of cooperation.

"... What do you think you're doing?" He asked lowly, his voice deep and gruff as you showered his neck with some sweet loving.

"Nothing," you muffled against his skin and he shivered from your cold lips and breath on his sensitive skin as you sighed, "You smell so good..."

"You... You wanted blood?" He scoffed and clicked his tongue, "You could have just asked... You damn vampires..." Mista did not hide his disappointment, thinking you'd initiate in some hot make out session only to stop cruelly and feed on him.

That wasn't the case though. You didn't like to use your boyfriend for blood, and surely, it wasn't a procedure you took lightly either.

There were plenty of volunteers for that service anyways, and you preferred the person be both physically and mentally ready for you rather than just randomly partake in some unrequited violent neck biting. You wouldn't waste the short and precious moments with Mista on such trivial and unnecessary reasons.

"No, no, I don't want to draw blood from you. I don't need it, I'll just satisfy myself with your scent." You buried your face deeper into him, taking in the smell of his blood, coming strong, fresh and vibrant under his tan skin of musk. "Plus I wouldn't dare bite you with no preparations. That's unfair."

"You're too cute." Mista snorted and wrapped his long and sturdy arms around you, squeezing you hard and lovingly.

Godamnit, he wanted to be mad at you but you were so adorable and sweet, he couldn't help but feel so lucky and privileged to have you. Not everyone could brag about having such a kind-hearted, hot and brilliant vampire girlfriend.

But he could.

"I love you princess. But really, you can take from me anytime you want. We've talked about this already, cara."

You moved to look back up at him, your gaze soft. "No, it's fine. Not now. For now I want to make the most of the little time we have together before the sunrise."

He laid his head back in contemplation. That was right. You'd have to go back home at least 30 minutes before dawn to prepare for bed without being in danger. Nights were too short and Mista's weeks of work were too long.

"My poor little babe will be blood deprived..." He cooed half jokingly and caressed your soft hair, sympathizing with your struggles.

"It's fine. I get less and less hungry when I smell your delicious, sweet virgin blood."

"Vi-.... VIRGIN?!" He shot up, almost shaking you up, "Who said I was a virgin?!"

You laughed at his outburst and his eyes were horrified and wide as saucers on you as you tried to calm your fit of laughter.

"Hehehe hahaha! I can smell it! It's so obvious! Please keep it that way, it tastes great too. Very nutritious and easy to digest~" You commented, giggling behind your hands.

The poor male blushed, unable to counter attack truthful and straight facts. "Nooo...." he whined, his wolf ears flattening down against his head in defeat.

"Don't be down, amorino." You cooed and gently caressed his face, "You know I'm just teasing~. Let me make it up to you."

And as you said that, you snaked your finger in his curly hair, slowly massaging his scalp and eliciting a groany sigh from the male. That was his biggest weakness, besides you, of course. Gentle head scritches. No werewolf could ever stay indifferent.

Just having your long nails rake so pleasurably along his scalp and dancing around and behind his wolf ears sent him to a pure state of bliss.

"A-ah, Y-Y/N... Aah thanks... Feels g-great hehe..."

"So polite. What a good boy."

Subconsciously, Mista's tail bonked loudly the side of the bed repeatedly with excitement, like a natural response to the praise.

It was cute, you thought, how much he could act like a puppy sometimes. Even though he hated to hear it from you, and rathered appear strong, dominant and protective for you, because he could be just that for you, and keep you safe.

You kissed him again and he instantly caged you back in his arms, planting his claws on your back and shoulders possessively. He was so crazy in love for you and the realization that he'd be gone for another long mission without seeing you hit him suddenly, which prompted him to tighten his legs around your hips and effectively emprisoning you with his limbs.

With his mind filled with thoughts of you only, and feeling your body pressed so delighfully against him, he kissed you even harder, giving you all his passion as he was getting drunk off your ministrations and intoxicating scent, both fruity and metallic.

"Hmph Guido..." You moaned on his lips and he could swear you did it on purpose. "Slow down."

"You're testing my limits babe, I don't like that."

"Hmm... It's 5 A.M." You whined softly between his insistant kisses and love bites.

"So what? I don't see your point. Let me have you." He mumbled huskily and you had to push him down to let yourself speak without interruption.

"I have to go, the sun is about to rise."

He groaned in annoyance and went limp under you, defeated. You chuckled at his reaction and propped yourself back on your hands as he released you.

"Fuck... Already? We barely did anything..." He huffed, beaten by time itself which was stealing his girlfriend away from him.

"We did a lot actually. I fed you, we played games, gossiped a bit and cuddled for like... 2 hours."

"We had a tickle fight too. Can't forget about my victory..." He proudly added before smirking, "... And your cute little noises."

"Shut up!" You slapped his arm as you sat up. Oh no, he was going to rub it in again, you knew it.

"Kyaaaah~ stop it! Guido not there aaaah~! AAAAAHHH~" He obnoxiously wailed and moaned exaggeratedly with an awful girly voice.

"SHUT UP! I didn't even say that! I don't even sound like that! You're gross!"

After a few more, well-deserved slaps from you and a fit of laughter from him, you eventually got off of the boy and fixed your clothes, walking away from the bed as he joined you.

"Aww but really babe," He wrapped his long arms around your waist from behind and buried his nose in your hair "I'll miss you..."

"It's okay sweetheart," You craned your neck and reached behind you to hold his face, "5 days fly by fast. And Bruno is kind, he'll give you a vacation if you ask him nicely."

Mista sighed, nuzzling into your hand and relishing in your soft hold. He was probably being dramatic in your eyes, acting like each day was the last one, but he wasn't completely wrong. His work field was more dangerous than he'd ever let you know, and even if you did know, he was well aware that you weren't even close to being afraid of death as he was. Vampires were immortal, after all, werewolves were not.

"Guido..." You called out, voice careful and airy.

"Hmm?"

"Don't be scared."

The male pulled away from you and stared at you with wide eyes. Scared? Was your kind really that sensitive to other's emotions?

His heart raced and he stuttered. "Huh? What- How did you-"

"I can smell it Guido, your hormones are strong." You turned to face him and grabbed his huge clawed hands in your ice cold ones, looking tenderly into his eyes. "You know I would never let you die."

Mista gulped. You knew. Of course you'd have guessed, you were so perceptive. He was dense to believe he could hide anything from you. There was nothing he could say when you read him like an open book and pinned him into place with your confident stance and fierce eyes.

"I..." He huffed heavily, avoiding your gaze "I can never be sure, Y/N. I didn't tell you everything about my work...."

"I know." You brought his hands up to your face and pressed a gentle kiss on his knuckles, his fur soft against your lips. "But don't forget my abilities. I'll turn you into a vampire without hesitation if anything were to happen. If I'm not here, Giorno will do it, we've already established this."

Mista's eyes widened at this revelation. You talked with Giorno? Even though the blonde was only half-vampire, he did have strong healing abilities, but the werewolf wouldn't have expected the vampires would ever work together to actually revive any of the team members in worst case scenarios. Thinking about it, it may even have been Bruno's idea.

Mista scoffed, unbelieving. "You sly bastards... You guys know the implications of turning people into hybrids, right?"

"I don't care. I want you safe and to stop worrying." You smiled and pulled him closer to you. "We'll talk about this later. Now kiss me."

Pushing his worry and melancholy to the side, the male obeyed and bent down to capture your lips hungrily again, hugging you almost uncomfortably hard. Mista wasn't really one to hold back much, and only you could either handle him, or put him back to place.

"Get home safe babe. Call me when you arrive." He murmured, still craddling your face close and you matched his whispers.

"Will do. Sleep tight, cuore mio."

Not quite wanting to separate from each other, you hesitated to move and had to use all your willpower to actually start walking towards the window, Mista still holding your hand and following close behind.

He opened the window for you and helped you hop on the frame, the moonlight long gone to leave space for dawn.

You shot one last look to your lover and blew him a kiss, making him grin goofily, "Bye bye Guido."

"Love ya, Y/N."

And with those sweet words, you jumped out the window, only to transform into your bat form and flying off into the early morning sky, your presence and your scent still remaining in Mista's room, on his skin and on his clothes.

Certainly, he had nothing to worry about.

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

[kaleidoscopek9]

ALRIGHT-

SO

I've had this list of headcannons just sitting in my notes app of my phone and I wanna put it somewhere so 👀

(These are heavily inspired by what I could gather from the skele boys in @bonelyheartsclub! I just threw in a few of my own.)

-----------*

Sans

- Does a LOT of stargazing and has quite a few space-themed knicknacks and clothes in his room. He's got a telescope too!

- Dad jokes. Any time is prime dad joke time. He's never let an opportunity slip past him.

- He's an absolute prank master. You're considered lucky if you happen to avoid the ones he's planted around the house like bombs waiting to go off.

- He's cryptic as fuck. Always giving half-true answers to every question. Occasionally he may slip up and give you a brutally honest response, but that's only with the people he trusts most, and he finds being open to be very difficult.

- He's constantly referencing memes and vine quotes from days of yore. He practically has a database of every meme ever in his head, and he doesnt let it go to waste.

- Cuddling with him is basically a one way ticket to nap-town, and you constantly find yourself waking up to him smooshed against you on the couch after dozing off. For being a skeleton, he is a surprisingly comfortable snuggler.

-----------*

Papyrus

-So much baking and cooking. It's his favorite past time, and the kitchen never smells the same when he's done making whatever he's making in there (it's 12 times out of 10 pasta) And while his cooking may be sub-par, you never say no when he asks you to try his latest dish.

- He's always up to go shopping with you. It never matters where. Malls are his favorite, especially the big grand ones with fountains and huge windows. He makes it a point to bring spare cash because you KNOW he's going to ride the mini marry-go-round even if he can barely fit in the seats.

- You two love to binge watch cooking channels. Always discussing which foods would be the most fun to make, writing down recipies, and having a hell of a time trying to pause the show at the right points to get all the information down.

- Papyrus is notorious for game nights. He's always pulling out boards and cards that you've never heard of before and never starts a game until he's absolutely certain you know the rules. Winning of course, is always his prime goal when it comes to games, but if he senses you're on a particularly rough losing streak, he MAY slip up. Occasionally. Just enough so you can win a game or two. Or five.

-----------*

Blue

- Hyper as all hell. You give him a reasonable dose of sugar or caffeine and he could power an entire city for a few hours without breaking a sweat.

- If he had been in high school, Blue would have been a theater kid. He's always humming a tune from a Broadway show or Disney movie, and he's got a pretty good collection of songs on his brother's Spotify playlist.

- This guy will blast Steven Universe music at full volume he has no shame.

- If you are ever driving somewhere with him, an aux cord is a MUST. Singing in the car is a very frequent thing with you two, and you'll only get out after the song is over.

- He likes cryptids! Mothman is his favorite and he firmly believes he exists somewhere.

- He's your workout buddy. If he manages to drag you to the gym with him, that is.

- Blue hates seeing you down in the dumps, and is always trying to cheer you up with his quirky puns and jokes to get you smiling again.

- He'd be the best motivational poster ever. Whenever he picks up that you're going through a rough spot and falling behind on self-care, he knows just what to say to put the spark back in you again.

-----------*

Stretch

- Radiates goblin energy.

- A goddamn meme lord.

- He's made two or three widely known viral videos and nobody knows it was him.

- You need someone to go to an anime convention with? Stretch is your guy. He's god awful at planning stuff out, but he'll make sure you both have a good time, no matter what happens.

- He's really big into nerd culture, and he DMs for a dungeons and dragons game every week.

- He'll occasionally smoke, but he doesnt have lungs, so he does it more for shits and giggles than anything else.

- As lazy as he seems, he is very reliable. If he knows it's something important to you, he'll get it done. Chores though, he's a lot more iffy with.

- He really likes bees.

-----------*

Red

- Talks big talk, but he's actually a huge softie.

- He's basically a big pillow with sharp teeth that can curse.

- A nervous wreck.

- His brother shops at Hot Topic. He shops at Spencer's. Very convenient.

- He's a pretty big flirt and throws out little compliments and things to butter you up from time to time.

- If you take Red into a Dave and Busters he will win the most expensive prize at the booth in about 2 hours. (He knows how to cheat at every single game)

- He's a competitive gamer, and has a pretty impressive following on Twitch.

- He can go from loud and brash to quiet and insecure in a matter of moments, depending on the situation.

- He loves to bake, although it's something he will never be caught dead doing.

- Comfort is not his strong suit, but he will defend you without a second thought.

- He can be a little clingy and will text you now and again to ask what you're up to, just to ease his mind.

-----------*

Boss

- Professionalism is his game.

- The walking embodiment of Hot Topic.

- He loves to listen to rock and screamo music. He's also got a thing for Disney villain songs.

- You need some punk biker or vampiric goth fashion advice? Boss got ya.

- Skellator Man.

- Out of all the skeletons, Boss has the biggest ego.

- He hates admitting he's wrong. He would rather DIE than admit he's fucked up something.

- "I am not nice-"

- He could kill a man with his high heels.

- If it's got spikes he'll probably wear it.

- Tsundere. Tsundere. Tsundere. Tsundere. Tsu

- Did I mention he's a cold blooded tsundere.

-----------*

Nox

- Small angery man.

- He listens to a lot of classic and instrumental music. He finds it very sophisticated.

- Wakes up obscenely early in the morning. Always followed by a cup of the most bitter coffee on the planet.

- Comes up with the best insults. He could roast someone so hard that they'd dissolve into a pile of soot. He could glare at you and you'd cease to exist. He's that good.

- WILL step on you without remorse.

- Threatens to kill someone on a daily basis.

- Very rarely has spare time for himself. He's always keeping busy doing something.

- Loves dark, dry humor. A child falling off a swing will have him laughing for a good five minutes.

- Has a stone cold poker face.

- He might have a softer side to him. You may never know because of the walls he's built up around him.

-----------*

Rus

- He absolutely adores animals. He volunteers at the local animal shelter and plans on adopting every single dog there.

- Rus has a massive sweet tooth. Donuts are his favorite, and you can easily bribe him with anything sugar coated.

- A road trip master. You put him in a camper and he knows exactly where he's going and what he's doing.

- "Going off grid, fuck yeah- I pull out my credit cards and shred 'em."

- Hiking, camping and geocaching are some of his favorite things to do. He loves to explore the wilderness and it's like he has a built-in compass for finding his way.

- His ideal date is going to a Wal-Mart and causing absolute chaos by riding bikes around and tossing all of the inflatable balls from their displays.

- Cryptidcore energy.

- Rus loves watching Buzzfeed Unsolved and ghost huntings. He's a big fan of Supernatural and Stranger Things, too.

- Stutters and slurs his words a lot. He's got some speech impediments from the gold canines in his mouth.

- A bit lacking when it comes to social skills, but he can be extremely caring and sweet.

-----------*

Ash

- Very soft-spoken and awkward. He doesn't get much social interaction and is still figuring some things out.

- He's very self-aware of the wound in his head. Whenever he has to leave the house he wears some sort of hat to cover it up.

- Practically lives in his garden. He understands plants more than he does human beings, and he spends time daily tending to whatever he's growing.

- Him and his brother are both vegetarians, and the smell or sight of meat makes them both feel sick to themselves.

- Has trouble sleeping due to his reoccurring nightmares. He will often sit in his garden late at night to help calm himself.

- Radiates soft energy. He would absolutely give the best hugs out of all the skeletons.

- Very touch-starved. Physical affection is something he rarely recieves, and he probably lingers with touches a lot longer than he should.

- Unintentionally makes God-teir jokes without realizing it.

----------*

Poplar

- Very well-educated in a lot of things. He really likes stocking up on useless factoids and making up his own just to mess with people.

- He answers Jeopardy questions with concerning accuracy.

- He enjoys going out to eat, and he's always up to try fancy foods.

- He likes photography and reading. He is well into the Harry Potter series.

- Poplar is prepared for anything at any time. A lot of stuff doesnt phase him at all, and it's difficult to catch him off-guard.

- He's willing to try anything new, once.

- Always willing to help out with schoolwork if he thinks you're seriously struggling with it.

- He's always carrying around small planners and notebooks to write in so he can keep track of things.

[symphonicspecter]

Which mythical creatures/cryptids are your favorite(s)? Feel free to expand upon your answer of you want!

Me thinking about monsters: fuck yeah fuck yeah fuck yeah

Okay so in no particular order

Mothman my beloved. Theres a few of you following me that know one of the reasons he’s a fave but I’m not disclosing that publically. I think as a cryptid he’s very neat because there is an event associated with his sightings!

And while Mothman is most famous for showing up around Point Pleasant before the Silver Bridge collapse, there have been sightings of a similar creature by different names in Mexico and southern US before a swine flu outbreak, and I don’t remember the location but somewhere else before an earthquake. Would be neat if they’re related, like this creature that tries to warn people of disaster. Although of course from the skeptical side it’s probably been misidentifed birds and coincidences. But it’s fun to think about!

Also the typical design of this vaguely bug-bird-human blob that’s pitch black with big eyes is really cute. It’s also just fun to see all the different ways people draw him. And he’s a little bit of a meme which is fun. Fun fact the first time I read about Mothman was in 4th grade and the book had a creepy drawing of him staring through someone’s window, so some nights I was afraid that if I opened the curtains I’d see him staring at me. .

I like the Jersey Devil too, theres a lot of cool designs of him. Like yesss gross demon horse man lets gooo. I also think it’s really interesting how some of the “sightings” are not actually of the creature but of hoofprints and disembodied voices. Somewhere in New Jersey a beast is tap dancing on roofs at night and I think that’s great. .

Fresno Nightcrawlers! They’re fucking pants. They’re just so funny to me. Just these weird little baggy pants lookin guys walking around in people’s yards at night. .

The Chupacabra is another fave of mine and has been for a while. I personally like doglike interpretations better than the alien ones. Spiky vampire dog is such a neat idea. Horrible for your livestock though. Maybe if Chupacabra is real we could tame it 🤔

.

For non-cryptid creatures:

Dragons!! In case it’s not obvious when I have a dragonsona. I’ve loved dragons since I was little. I ALWAYS was the “why do they have to slay the dragon why can’t they befriend the dragon” kid. I had lots of books of dragons as a kid, from story collections to novels to drawing guides to history and famous dragons collections. And I would read them again and again.

Im not quite sure what drew me to dragons versus other mythical creatures at first. Except that they’re very cool and there’s lots if different kinds. Dragons are really cool because they show up in myths all over the world! So there’s lots of stories and lore.

I love how dragons are so popular and varied that there’s lots of designs for them too, and they still continue to be popular creatures, even a fairly common sona!

I think another thing I’ve liked about dragons over the years is the experience of drawing them. Because there’s not just one dragon design, I used to draw dragons a lot to practice different types of animal bodies and colors. And I didn’t feel as pressured for accuracy as I did drawing animals and people.

.

Slenderman. One of the most modern monsters in terms of creation time. I think it’s VERY cool that he’s borne from the Internet, so the spread of his popularity and trends in the myth are recorded. Like, this is a myth that you can find the origin of and view it yourself (I don’t know if the site is still up actually, but I’ve seen screenshots so I know there’s at least that). I really think Slenderman was done dirty by popular media. He deserves a better movie and to be known for more than just bad incidents. I love the wide range of takes though. I know I keep saying that but I really do think it’s neat how people interpret creatures differently. Slenderman is cool in that some people make him scary, others make him funny, or sympathetic. And while typically he’s made scary, or at least spooky, there’s different ways he’s scary. Some people like him as a violent killer, others like him as a psychological predator. It’s really neat that no two Slendermen scare the same way.

Also he’s just a neat looking monster. 10/10 would get a gangly hug

.

Cerberus/hellhounds. They’re scary looking but they’re just puppies! Good boys and good girls! Houndoom is one of my favorite pokemon too (it’s inspired by hellhounds)

.

On one hand, manticores are not one of the first creatures that come to mind, BUT whenever I see one I always think oh !!! How cool!!! They have a very cool design! While it’s never said explicitly in The Divine Comedy that Geryon is a manticore, his design is clearly based on one. I love that “the beast of fraud” has “the face of an honest man” but when you look beyond that it’s a monstrous body, it’s a symbol of deception! .

W*nd*gos are incredibly controversial bc of their origin and the usual design for them is inaccurate, but I’m using that as a reference point here. The actual myth of these creatures I’m not as much a fan of. However, the “big black furry beast with a skull head” is one of my fave designs. I’ve seen some proposals for calling this design pucca after the black shapeshifting creature instead! Tbh I think we need a new name entirely since this type of monster seems detached from other myths. It’s just a very neat design that I wish we could call something else!

.

Okay ummm that’s it with naming I think. But I like all sorts of weird creatures! I like animalistic looking ones more than humanoid or abstract. Ive probably said it many times before but I love monsters that are actually sweet or friendly.

[instasiswetrust]

Werewolf AU (Steve centric)

When the wolf finds him, Steve's been sitting on that rock for nigh on an hour. Or at least, he assumes it could've been an hour even when it feels like he's been there for merely a handful of minutes.

He doesn't turn to greet the wolf, doesn't even flinch, heavy gaze entirely focused on the two-story house he can make out at the bottom of the hill. From his place on the raised rock, just at the edge of the trees where the pine forest meets the last remnants of the suburban landscape, he knows no one can spot him from down there. He can see them though.

Two figures, partially hidden by the curtains that frame the open window, sit at a table. He thinks they might be having dinner, trading inane chatter like it was any other day. And you know, maybe it was.

(He tries not to dwell on how much that thought makes his chest ache.)

Behind him, a soft rustle can be heard, the crunching of heavy boots on dried pine needles, before someone sits next to him on the rock. Their legs dangle off the edge of the raised rock, and by the mismatched pink and green striped socks they are wearing, Steve can easily tell who they are.

"It's been two hours, Stevie. Dad thought you had gotten lost in the woods again."

Susie.

(For some reason he had thought Frank would've found him first. He decides not to think about the small spark of disappointment that he feels.)

"Sorry." He mutters, prying his gaze away from the house and facing her properly. She's shorter than he is and it makes him have to look down at her. In her hands is a partially eaten chocolate bar - where she got it, Steve doesn't know - and when she notices his eyes on her, she raises it slightly so he can take a bite from it.

Steve wonders if she's doing it because of the dried tear tracks on his cheeks, or the way his hair is lying limp against his head from all the times he had run his hands through it. Either way, he's glad she doesn't mention it

"Doesn't chocolate make us sick?" Maybe it's ironic for him to ask when he's taking a bite of the chocolate too, but he could do with the sweetness.

"Life without chocolate it's not worth living." And when she smiles, her cheeks dimple in the cutest of ways. It's honest, happy, and slightly manic, childish in a way that reminds him so much of Dustin that he ends up choking back tears.

She doesn't say anything but her eyes soften. Next thing he knows, she's all but pulled him into an embrace, his face smooshed into her shoulder in a slightly awkward angle due to their height difference. The way he doesn't even bother finding a more comfortable position, his whole body relaxing under her touch, is evidence enough of how much he needed something like this.

"I miss them." Whispered like a secret, his words muffled against the fabric of her pink cable knit sweater, even as the first sob wracks through him. “I k-know I shouldn't because they don't s-seem to care that I left but-”

Her hands are on his hair, fingers carding gently through it, even as she hums a lullaby under her breath. It makes him sob harder, face hidden against the curve of her shoulder, hands desperately clinging to her.

Susie never comments on it. She doesn't try to justify his feelings or vilify his parents. Her sole focus is on him, letting him cry it out without caring if her sweater gets stained with tears. Once he's finally calmed down, she waits for him to put himself back together before standing and helping him up.

“Come, Stevie. Let's go back before Dad starts worrying.”

------

The thing about shifting into a wolf was that keeping any coherent thoughts was absolute hell to do, especially when you had only been a wolf for three whole weeks. Thinking he could somehow sneak into town without being seen was foolish to even consider.

That still didn't stop Steve.

Dustin. Robin. Nancy.

Names repeating in his brain that made absolutely no sense to a wolf who couldn't make sense of abstract concepts. But they were important. He could feel it under his skin, like an itch that he couldn't scratch. How he would find them, he wasn't sure, but he would.

And that's how he ends up climbing clumsily into the open window that leads to Dustin's room, making a racket as he topples over half a dozen action figures that were settled on the dresser. His nails clack sharply against the hardwood floors, nose twitching curiously at all the scents that fill the room.

A sudden movement out of the corner of his eye has him turning his head to the side, finding himself at the foot of a raised structure that he vaguely remembers is meant to be den. On it, a human child holds a complicated plastic...thing, pointing it directly at him. He smells of curiosity and fear but under it, all is a scent so familiar that it makes the wolf's chest ache with emotions he can't name, a soft confused whine escaping him.

The child tilts its head at the sound, curiosity seemingly winning over his fear as he crawls closer to the edge of the raised platform, eyes locking on the wolf- No. On Steve.

That single moment of clarity is all Steve needs to trigger back the change, skin morphing and bones cracking, as his body protests with the pain of forcing him back into a form resembling something human. At last, there's no wolf, just a very naked teenager sitting in the middle of Dustin's room with a nerf gun pointed at him.

"Steve?!" He flinches despite Dustin's voice being no louder than a whisper. A cold breeze streams through the open window, making him shiver and reminding him that he's still very much naked.

"Look, I promise I will explain just-" Steve flushes, fumbling with the necklace on his neck until it spits out the change of clothes he had saved in there. "Let me get dressed because this is awfully embarrassing."

"I uh- sure?" And it's clear by his tone of voice that he's choking on a laugh but he does cover his eyes to give Steve some privacy.

It doesn't take long before he's fully dressed, sitting on the corner of Dustin's bed while his friend stares at him with eyes filled with curiosity and accusation. Steve cannot blame him. For all everyone knew he could've been dead no matter what the note he left behind said.

"So you're a werewolf." Not a question but he nods, feeling uncomfortable as he remembers Evan saying he couldn't tell anyone else for the safety of not only himself but the pack.

"You weren't supposed to find out about that but it's hard keeping human thoughts while I remain a wolf." Dustin has that look on his face that Steve knows means he wants to ask more questions but is refraining himself from doing so. It makes him smile at the familiarity of it all. "I'm not actually supposed to be here, in fact."

"Why? Did you get kidnapped by a werewolf cult or something? Is that why you left?"

Steve snorts, shaking his head quickly. "No, no. Nothing like that. It's just for safety, y'know? Monster hunters are common in small towns like this according to Da- according to Evan."

His slip up makes Dustin quirk an eyebrow.

"Were you just about to call this Evan guy, Dad?"

"Look-" But before he could start explaining, the younger boy interrupted him again.

"Wait, you said Monster hunters, not Werewolf hunters. Does that mean other creatures are real? Like Fae, and Tieflings, and Vampires? Is Dracula real? Is Mothman real?" He's firing questions with the swiftness of a TV presenter, Steve immediately putting hands on his shoulders to slow him down.

"Slow down, dingus." He teases, the old nickname making Dustin roll his eyes. "I'm not really supposed to be saying any of this but I guess since you've already seen me..."

"C'mon Steve, tell me at least a little! Please?" And Dustin's known Steve for long enough that he's aware the guy is absolutely weak when it comes to puppy eyes.

He sighs, running a hand through his face before caving in. "Monsters are real, yes. I only know a few, those that have visited the pack for the most part, but Dr. Herman has many Bestiaries around that he agreed to let me read once I graduate from Evan's pack dynamic classes."

Dustin is absolutely beaming with all the new information, a hundred questions waiting to be voiced on his lips but suddenly his expression falls, brows furrowing and teeth worrying his bottom lip. He's avoiding Steve's gaze and his scent stinks of sadness.

"Hey, what's the matter? I thought you would be excited to know Mothman might be real?" He's still saying nothing and Steve is starting to grow worried. Did he do something wrong?

"This means you aren't coming back...right?" It's barely above a whisper but Steve's hearing is so sharp that he has no trouble hearing him. Inside his chest, his heart clenches painfully.

When he shakes his head and Dustin's gaze falls to his lap, Steve feels like his body is being filled with lead.

"I still have my phone with me, and I might be able to visit in the future but... No. I'm not coming back, Dustin." Grief bubbles in his chest, choking him up and making his eyes burn with the tears he wants to shed but refuses to.

Dustin tackles him into a hug, squeezing him so hard that it hurts but Steve doesn't mind, hugging him back just as tightly. If either of them cries they don't bother mentioning it.

It's not important after all.

----

Dawn shines pink and orange over the horizon when he makes it back to the ranch, exhausted to his bones.

Evan is waiting for him in the kitchen when he steps in and Steve is not surprised. The older werewolf had the uncanny ability to know when any of them were getting into trouble, after all. So all Steve does is hang his head, feeling the weight of Evan's gaze on him.

"Sit." He says, and his voice doesn't give anything away. So Steve sits and waits for the reprimanding he's so sure will come.

Except it doesn't.

"You have been crying. Are you hurt?" Evan is truly concerned it seems, his voice firm but not too loud. Is enough to bring the tears back to Steve's eyes, a broken sob leaving him as he hides his head in his hands. And all the older man does is rub his back comfortingly until his sobs have been reduced to occasional sniffles. Only then does he speak again.

"Feeling better?" Steve nods, once, before stopping and shaking his head. Evan chuckles, his gruff voice is oddly comforting. "Ah, here I was thinking you had been taking all these changes a little too well."

"I'm used to rolling with the punches." Steve tries offering him a smile but it comes out looking more like a grimace so he ends up giving it up altogether. He hates how true that statement is but Evan understands.

(Somehow, he always understands when it comes to Steve's parents.)

They are both quiet after that, the silence comforting were it not for the way Steve's stomach roiled with his guilt. He had to say something, apologize, or the shame would eat him alive.

"Look, I'm... I'm sorry I went out to town without telling anyone but it's just- I was homesick, and I missed my friends so much, and I basically left without giving Dustin an expl-" He's babbling out of nervousness, excuses spooling out of him like worn thread but he pauses once Evan settles his heavy hand on his shoulder. Big hands. Hands capable of drawing the softest of portraits with as much ease as they could choke out a deer.

"I'm not mad, pup." Steve has to bite his cheek at that to stop his eyes from filling up with tears again over something so silly as a word. "Kinda expected you to eventually do it. Had Danny's cat familiar follow you last night just to make sure you would be okay."

Steve thinks he should feel offended by that last bit of information but he honestly cannot give a fuck when he's basically swimming in the relief that courses through him at Evan's words. He knows and he isn't mad. Knows and doesn't blame him for showing weakness.

(Knows and still loves him.)

Evan smiles, barely an upturn of his lips but it's there and his words are soft when he says, "Go to bed, pup."

He does. And for the first time in a while, he doesn't dream at all.

[river--glass]

Reylo Fic Recommendations: Monster Edition

In honor of Spooky Season, I wanted to make a list of fics in which one or both of them are more than human. Cryptids and creatures and monsters galore. (This one is for you, monsterfuckers.)

Demons

Count the Rings by Lachesisgrimm (olga_theodora). (E, Modern, 63K) When camping with her friends, Rey jokingly decides to marry a tree thats rumored to hold the spirit of a trapped man. Spoiler alert, the legends were true. Featuring accidental marriage, demon deals, and soft soft demon Ben. Sure there’s some angst and danger but this is mostly sweet and wonderful and Rey having dreams come true.

The Hand That Feeds by persimmone. (E, Victorian, 46K) Rey has managed to avoid unwanted male attention for thirty years, until the opening of a mysterious artifact burdens her with an accidental husband. Luckily, her new consort is not the average man. Or better, he's not... human. Featuring eldritch abomination Kylo who is so sweetly in awe and reverent of human Rey despite being powerful and older than the universe. And who also has... a tentacle form.

All The Ashes by neonheartbeat. (E, Modern, 37K) Rey, living in a terrible Brooklyn apartment and desperate to escape, posts a Craiglist ad as a half-joke seeking a marriage of convenience to just get the hell out of the country. It's unexpectedly answered by a mysterious Romanian count. Featuring soft monster Kylo, good friend Hux, and beauty and the beast elements. I loved this soft Kylo and thirsty Rey.

I Will Always Find You by kuresoto. (E, Modern, 24K) Featuring Lilith!Rey and Lucifer!Kylo. I love this. They fuck like monsters (and as monsters!) and Rey is the queen of hell and they're so viciously in love. Read It!!

Deliciously by @secretreylotrash. (E, Colonial, 18K) Puritan/Salem Witch Trials/The VVitch Inspired. Witches, demon Kylo, orgies, death... This was WILD.

The Devil’s Lucky Number by Avdal. (E, Modern, 10K) Pure smut. Demon Kylo shows up out of the blue for the sole purpose of making rey orgasm. It’s what she deserves.

The Devil You Know by KyloTrashForever. (E, Modern, 10K) In which Ben finds out the hard way that he shouldn’t play with old magic. AKA, lucky bastard dumb college student Ben accidentally summons himself a succubus girlfriend.

The Demon Within Me by Avdal. (E, Modern, 8K) Shameless demon Kylo smut.

Come To Me In The Clearing And There We Shall Dance by QueenOfCarrotFlowers @leofgyth . (E, 1600′s, 5K) She had been hoping he would find her - her only friend. Kylo. She supposes he’s a demon, or a devil, or one of the heathen gods, but she's never worked up the nerve to ask him and he has not volunteered that information.

Proposal by AKyloDarkly. (E, 4K) Lilith!Rey and Lucifer!Kylo.

Mercy by bunilicious. (E, Victorian, 3K) A Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde/Demon AU. AKA, Rey is thirsty for her demon husband and refuses to wait any longer.

Mothman/Mothlo

For Love of a Flame by thewayofthetrashcompactor. (E, Fantasy, 8K) The shadowy Order has advanced across the forest, bringing darkness in their wake. Rey is hungry and desperate, willing to face the Order themselves to steal back what they've taken from the land. What she finds there is not what she expects. Fairies/mothpeople! Weird! I’m into it!

Drawn to the Light of Your Burning Sorrows by Kyriadamorte. (M, Modern, 7K) Mothman Ben! Curious outcast Rey! This was the first mothlo fic I ever saw. Me when I saw this fic: Mothlo? Mothman Reylo?? God and Ryan Johnson have truly abandoned this fandom. Me after this fic: Mothman Kylo is the best boy and bring on the cryptids.

Macrolepidoptera by ceciliasheplin. (E, Modern, 3K) Rey runs after her Mothman to show him how much she loves him. Nothing like a 3K word fic that hits you in the feels at the same time that it’s giving you mothman smut filth. This fandom is magical.

Nature Spirits

Oh Autumn, Oh Teakettle, Oh Grace by diasterisms. (E, Modern, 31K) Ben Solo didn’t believe in dryads, until one snagged his coats and freed herself. She’s pure bliss and magic and he is captivated. If she has to go 2000 miles back to her tree, he might as well drive her there. Dryad Rey/smitten human Ben road trip! What a lovely fic!

Looking For a Breath of Life by Fighter_for_Solo. (T, Fantasy, 18K) Featuring Elf Prince Ben and human hunter Rey! A really delightful story.

I met you once — ( In a dream ) by persopilliankore. (E, Fantasy, 10K). Where Ben and Rey are soulmates and Ben is more than meets the eye.

Fearless by KyloTrashForever. (E, Fantasy, 6K) Featuring tree Ent Kylo and the softest tentacle porn you’ll ever read.

Sea Creatures. Mermaids, Selkies, OctaKylo, oh my!

Beyond the Veil by dachenbritta. (M, Modern, 40K). Deep within the waters of the Oregon coast, a lone mermaid longs for the man she's watched for years. Her wish of joining him comes true but comes at a cost. This was hilarious and emotional and such a great read.

Sirens by SageMcMage. (E, Fantasy, 21K) In which Merman Ben tries to woo Mermaid Rey by little gifts on her doorstep. Adorable! 

Yn Beisht Kione by Melusine11 @hellomelusine . (E, Modern, 5K) They say a beast roams the sea. Protecting a treasure long hidden in the Headland's caves. Some say it is the soul of a man killed by pirates to protect that treasure. Sailors have been known to throw casks of rum at the beast in the hopes of placating it, so they don't get eaten and can pass in peace. Most people though, don't believe he exists, and Rey is about to find out how wrong they all are.

I Found You by Kyoloren. (T, Fantasy, 5K) In which scavenger mermaid Rey finds a strange black T-shaped object in her waters on Kef Bir and is determined to return it to its owner. Mermaid Rey!Cute little fish people soulmates!

Octopussy by KyloTrashForever. (E, Modern, 5K) Three brothers at the beach plus one horny sea monster equals a lot of holes being filled. Smutty monster filth, no need to look for a deeper meaning than that. You like tentacle porn? Here ya go.

Live by the Sea, Love by the Tide by Twin_Kitten. (E, Fantasy, 4K) Rey and a few other mermaids escape the clutches of Unkar, and stumble into the territory of another pod of mermaids. Ben's pod. Soft caretaking mermaid Ben!

Where the Blue of the Sea Meets the Sky by HarpiaHarpyja @thisgarbagepicker . (T-E, Fantasy) A Short delightful little series featuring Selkie Ben and explorer Rey! I seriously cannot say enough good things about this author, do yourself a favor and go read EVERYTHING she’s ever written.

Tentacle Dick (that’s it that’s the plot)

Damnably Unbecoming by cuddlesome. (E, Canon-verse crack, 5K)

Froot (i've been saving all my summers for you) by kuresoto. (E, Canon-verse crack, 4K)

Vampires

In The Dark by KyloTrashForever. (E, Modern, 44K) A Dark Shadows AU!! It’s not “finished”, but it ends well where it is! Featuring vampire Ben who is very sorry about drinking blood and human Rey who is even thirstier than he is.

A Little Death (Goes a Long Way) by crossingwinter. (E, Modern, 23K) A Vampire & A/B/O AU. Weird and dark but I am here for it.

The Lioness by Lilia_ula. (E, Fantasy, 13K) Rey goes bravely to her death after being chosen as the village sacrifice, but upon meeting the beast things don’t go as planned. I love to see Reylo fics where they both revel in who they are and what they are together. Fascinating.

Beneath the Pale Moonlight by bunilicious. (E, Historical Recency, 15K) A fluffy fic about vampire Ben falling hard for Rey! 

The Curious Case of the Aquarist and the Vanishing Walrus by radioactivesaltghoul. (T, Modern, 6K) Rey loves spending time in the walrus enclosure at the aquarium she works at.Ben is a vampire with an unusual ability. This is bizarre and wonderful and just such a fun read. I think about this fic daily.

Werewolves

we decided not to kill the wolves (we wanted to be wolves) by crossingwinter. (E, Fantasy, 32K) A pack of wolves lives in the woods to the north of Raddus and as winter looms, they have their eyes set on Leia Organa’s stronghold. Rey may be new to Raddus, but she’s not about to do nothing while it may be in danger. And besides, Poe must be exaggerating about wolves the size of bears. She’s not afraid of monsters.

Howl by monsterleadmehome. (E, modern, 2K) When Ben Solo is trying to earn Eagle Scout status, he spends a night alone in the woods. A chance encounter with a werewolf girl named Rey leaves an impression. Ten years later, he runs into her again and this time, they're all grown up.