#my life during COVID-19

[chocoholicbec]

#similar feelings abt my late diagnosed adhd#ur telling me u were diagnosed and medicated at age 8 so u didn’t spend the first three decades of ur life setting said life on fire#ur telling me u didn’t develop crippling/paralyzing anxiety from the fear of inevitable disappointment and failure#ur telling me u don’t go through months long bouts of depression constantly bc of the ever present reminders that you will never be normal#now with bonus physical disabilities from medical misogyny and medical neglect made worse by being unable to follow up on anything ever! - @spacelazarwolf, same hat 🙃

I’m going to be a bitch for a second, but when I’m conversing with someone newly diagnosed with MCAS/POTS post covid and they complain about “the long wait” to get diagnosed and that “long wait” is 3-4 months my entire brain blue screens.

Like on the one hand, yes those 3-4 months must have been so, so scary and I am so unbelievably glad we’re in a place where doctors know enough to reconize it now. Like truly, I am so sincere I am so happy for them.

But I’m also just like... 30 years, man.

I spent 30 years being told from the age of eight I was manifesting my allergic reactions through anxiety by health care professionals.

Fuck, five years ago when I was starving to death from how severe my MCAS had gotten an allergist told me it was anxiety.

And you got diagnosed in three months.

MONTHS

MONTHS

AND YOU’RE COMPLAINING

I’m not mad at them. I’m not. I’m just sad for myself.

But also, hey, yeah. If you come into an MCAS forum and wonder why a bunch of the old timers get upset when you complain it took months for a doctor to listen to you, this is why.

It's not that you deserved to wait longer. It's that we didn’t either and and sometimes even good changes can unearth a world of hurt.

[kira-akira]

What I Want You To Know About Long COVID

Well lads, I've been suffering from Long COVID for over a year now. My life is at a complete standstill. I'm 25 years old and I'm too sick to go back to school, I can't work, I had to move back in with my parents and I'm still stuck here.

Here are just a few things I wish people knew about Long COVID, including things I didn't know myself until I got it.

COVID destroys your immune system. Yes, even if you don't have Long COVID. Are you getting sick more often now? When you get sick, does it last longer? There are many studies showing that COVID causes t cell depletion, even in mild COVID cases! T cells are how your body remembers how to fight off infections you've had before so losing those cells? Bad news.

Your initial infection can be mild and you can still get Long COVID. Right from Yale Medicine, "Most people with Long COVID had mild acute COVID." (This is also a good link for a basic Long COVID overview).

There can be a gap of time between when you "get better" from the initial COVID infection to the onset of Long COVID symptoms. Some people get sick with an initial COVID infection and never get better. Some get better and then weeks or months later start developing Long COVID symptoms. Long COVID symptoms can even fluctuate over time, can go away for months and then suddenly come back.

So many people have Long COVID and don't realize it. Do you feel more tired lately but no matter how much you sleep, nothing helps? Is it harder to concentrate at work or school? Can you just not think like you used to? You could have Long COVID and not even know it. Even mild post-COVID symptoms are still Long COVID.

COVID can do anything to your body. Long COVID has over 200 recognized symptoms and can affect basically any part or system of your body. There is no one mechanism or cause of Long COVID which unfortunately also means there's no one cure either.

The effects of COVID are cumulative. Each COVID reinfection increases your chances of developing Long COVID. COVID is also affecting your body in other ways, yes, even if you're otherwise young and healthy! "Repeat COVID-19 infections increase risk of organ failure, death".

Once you have Long COVID, repeat COVID infections will make your symptoms worse. "80% [of Long COVID patients] saw their symptoms worsen [from reinfection]. In 60% of people who were in recovery or remission from Long COVID, reinfection caused a recurrence of Long COVID."

There is a lot more I want to say about Long COVID but I want to keep this post at least somewhat manageable to read. Like how when COVID is contracted during pregnancy, those COVID-exposed fetuses have a 6.3-fold increased risk of motor developmental delays, or that another study found 50% of babies exposed to COVID in utero had developmental delays.

You need to keep caring about COVID, for others around you and also for yourself even if you're "healthy". Everyone is at risk. And don't forget 40-60% of COVID infections are asymptomatic, which is why masking even if you feel fine is crucial. The only way right now to not get Long COVID is to not get COVID in the first place. It's not too late, if you've stopped masking it's never too late to start again! I know it's easy to get distracted by things in your life that seem more real than the possibility of getting sick some time in the future, and the peer pressure to not mask can be intense. But it only feels less real or less important until your entire life is having Long COVID. Trust me.

I know this is a complicated issue, many people can't afford to stay home when sick even if they want to because of their jobs, there are disgusting policies trying to ban wearing masks, but please if you can. Keep masking. Masking works, masking saves lives.

This post got a bit longer than I wanted so below the cut is a non-exhaustive list of my Long COVID symptoms and some of my experiences as one of the "healthy young people" who got "unlucky". cw brief mention of suicidal ideation.

Welcome to the Thunderdome that is my body with Long COVID. Keep in mind these are just my experiences and symptoms, Long COVID can cause any range of symptoms at varying severities.

Dysautonomia: Exercise intolerance, Post-Exertional Malaise (PEM), fatigue, and heat intolerance. What do those things mean? Here's some specific examples. Absolutely terrible circulation I am so cold all the time but also, if I get a little too warm I will pass out. Eating hot food makes my heart rate spike, I sweat, my body feels heavy. Blood pooling and pins and needles in my feet when I walk. Don't even think about exercising past walking, it's impossible. I used to work out an hour a day 4 times a week and now walking up one flight of stairs makes my heart pound and I can't breathe. Can't take even just warm showers anymore or I will pass out. Heat rashes from being in the sun for 10 minutes.

Digestive issues: Honestly too many to name but: constant bloating, extreme nausea, constipation, slow motility, lack of appetite, just so much cramping and pain. I lost 18 pounds from Long COVID, as someone who was already considered underweight their entire life, and almost had to get a shunt put into my chest to deliver nutrients because I was nearly completely unable to eat. For the first 6 months of Long COVID, if I could manage 600 calories a day, that was a good day.

Histamine intolerance: Oh boy. My worst symptoms, I don't even know where to start with it. If you know Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) it's very similar. I can only eat 19 foods. If i eat a single bite of something not on that list, it's 48 hours of absolute hell. Coughing, migraines, itchy eyes, such extreme nausea I cannot even describe it, panic/feeling of doom, racing heart rate, derealization, rash, uncontrollable muscle tremors. I only learned about histamine intolerance 5 months into having Long COVID so before that, I was experiencing these symptoms nearly every single day. Terrifying isn't even a strong enough word to describe how it felt to experience all this and have no idea what it was, how to stop it, or if it would ever stop. Really dark times.

Neurological issues: More of that derealization. Inability to concentrate. Anxiety. OCD-like symptoms such as thoughts getting "stuck" in my head, repeating 24/7 completely unable to stop them, genuinely felt like my brain had cracked open and I had lost my mind. Constant dizziness like I'm on a boat.

Sleep issues: I sleep like garbage. I have insomnia, I wake up dozens of times every night and every single time I sleep I have intensely vivid dreams. I can't sleep longer than 7 hours total no matter how exhausted I am. It is exhausting. I'm exhausted, I'm so so tired.

And finally. Just. Really intense suicidal ideation. My body, my health, my entire life has been stolen from me because someone else decided my life was worth less to them than wearing a mask or staying home if they feel sick. Before I got Long COVID, I was preparing to go to South Korea to teach English, then on to a PhD in neurolinguistics, I was supposed to meet my long distance partner and had already booked plane tickets when I got sick. All of that has been destroyed.

Most of us with Long COVID are stuck in a cycle of being extremely sick, then if you're lucky you'll slowly get better over months, just to get reinfected and go right back where you started or worse. Honestly, I'm not scared of dying from COVID. I'm scared of living for a long time, suffering from Long COVID the entire time. This isn't living.

I don't know how to end this now. I'm still fighting, I'm trying experimental treatments, I'm not giving up yet. I hope everyone reading this stays healthy and well.

[howdoyouexpressloneliness]

How do you express loneliness?

Hi everyone,

I’m currently writing my master’s thesis in social work on the topic of loneliness. After already having written a bachelor's thesis on loneliness during the COVID-19 pandemic and lockdown using a questionnaire as a research tool, my thesis supervisor and I came to the conclusion to stay on the same topic but handle it with a different approach.

Everyone has had experiences with loneliness in their life. No matter if they felt lonely themselves or heard about it, seen it on TV or read about it. Within my master’s thesis I want to explore the different ways people express loneliness. The research question of the master's thesis is therefore: "How do you express loneliness?".

My idea was to base the research on submissions. Within the submissions everything is possible, no matter if it is textual or written, artistic, videos, songs, photography or anything else that might help contextualize loneliness. (Examples could be: poems, texts, essays, haikus, lyrics, paintings, drawings, collages, videos, songs, photos etc.)

Please send your submissions to the Google Forms page created for this purpose: https://forms.gle/dF8xYQYz51ncUwSp9

Or to the e-mail: expressingloneliness@gmail.com

(If you’re German or can speak the language, please make sure to submit your work in German because that is the language the master’s thesis will be written in. But I am grateful for any and all submissions)

All submissions are confidential and will only be used for the purpose of research for my master’s thesis. All submissions are anonymous and any information to any personal information will be anonymized.

If you have any questions or suggestions please make sure to reach out to me! You can find me at the e-mail address: expressingloneliness@gmail.com or @howdoyouexpressloneliness on tumblr.com.

Thank you for participating!

[autisticadvocacy]

ASAN Disappointed by Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s Confirmation to Lead HHS

The Autistic Self Advocacy Network is disappointed by the confirmation of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services. Kennedy has a long record of spreading misinformation about autism in particular and public health in general. He is an unqualified and dangerous choice for this role. Autistic people, the disability community, and the nation’s public health are all placed at major risk as a result of this confirmation. 

Vaccines save lives. Disinformation kills.

RFK Jr. is the founder of Children’s Health Defense, a prominent anti-vaccine group. He has claimed that no vaccine has been proven safe and effective, that the recommended vaccine schedule for children is dangerous, and that “autism does come from vaccines.”  He has also fought against COVID-19 vaccination, falsely calling an early COVID vaccine “the deadliest vaccine ever made.”

Vaccines are safe and effective. Vaccines do not cause autism. The idea that the measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine is linked to autism comes from one fraudulent 1998 publication claiming that the vaccine had caused autistic traits in 12 children. Andrew Wakefield, who wrote this publication, used unethical methods and failed to disclose financial conflicts of interest. The paper did not give enough evidence for its claim that the MMR vaccine could cause autism. It was later removed by the journal that published it, and Wakefield had his medical license revoked.

Despite decades of replicable research proving that this is not true, some people, like Kennedy, continue to spread this lie. These lies do very real harm to the autistic community. Kennedy has described autistic people in insulting ways meant to inspire fear, saying that “their brain is gone” and that the purported effects of vaccination are “a Holocaust.” By working to prevent childhood vaccination, he effectively communicates the message that living as an autistic person is a worse fate than dying of measles or pertussis. 

Kennedy has also made false claims about COVID-19 vaccine trials and about the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System, blaming unrelated deaths on COVID vaccinations. Anti-vaccine misinformation like that promoted by Kennedy’s group has led to a reduced rate of childhood vaccinations in the United States since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic.  

Kennedy’s lies about vaccines harm others as well. Kennedy and his nonprofit played an active role in a recent measles outbreak in Samoa, spreading vaccine misinformation until the vaccination rate dropped low enough that 5,700 people were infected with measles, and 83 people died. When he was asked about this outbreak during his confirmation hearing, Kennedy said that he didn’t believe the people who died had measles, a claim that the top health official for Samoa has called “a complete lie.”

Lies about autism

The anti-vaccine movement has led to a wave of fake “autism cures,” many of which have very real health risks. Kennedy recently promoted two of these fake cures when he accused the FDA of suppressing “hyperbaric therapies, chelating compounds.” Hyperbaric therapy, a treatment for decompression sickness in divers, has been promoted as a fake autism cure in spite of a complete lack of evidence and associated health risks. Chelation, a treatment for heavy metal poisoning, is another fake cure, and its off-label use for autism has been associated with at least one death. 

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and his allies claim that autistic people did not exist in his youth and that “I have never in my life seen a man my age with full-blown autism.” The idea that autistic people of Kennedy’s age (70) do not exist is not true. 

Autistic people have always been here, but before widespread autism diagnosis, we either went undiagnosed, or received different diagnoses than would be used today -- for example, the outdated diagnosis of “childhood schizophrenia” for autism, or diagnosing people who today would only have an autism diagnosis with intellectual disability. Autistic people in Kennedy’s generation were often institutionalized or incarcerated. Even if Kennedy did not see us, that does not mean we were not there. 

Lies about public health endanger everyone

Kennedy has taken other stances on public health, also based on misinformation, that disproportionately harm disabled people. He has opposed COVID-19 vaccination when people with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD) are at risk for worse outcomes if we get COVID. He wants to take fluoride out of drinking water, making everyone’s dental health worse, when people with IDD have worse dental health outcomes to begin with. 

He is against the use of medication for ADHD in spite of research demonstrating that these medications are safe and can prevent deaths among people who take them. He has falsely linked antidepressants, which for many people are life-saving medication, to mass shootings. None of these beliefs are based on evidence, and all of them would make terrible public health policy. 

Kennedy’s fringe beliefs have led him to propose some truly disturbing disability policies. He has discussed sending people who struggle with addiction or take psychiatric medications to “wellness farms,” where they could labor for several years and would be forbidden to use cell phones. In the autism community, we have seen farms promoted as a housing solution before, and we recognize this idea for what it is: a proposal to institutionalize the 16% of Americans who take psychiatric medication and the 16% of Americans who struggle with substance use. 

Kennedy’s commitment to spreading misinformation about public health extends beyond developmental disability. He claims that drinking raw milk has health benefits at a time when bird flu is spreading and foodborne diseases like listeria are becoming more common. He has suggested that AIDS may not be caused by HIV, and has participated in transphobic fear-mongering by claiming that chemicals in drinking water may change children’s gender identity. Once again, there is no evidence for any of these beliefs. 

We should never take “a break” from public health

At an anti-vaccine conference last year, Kennedy said that if he became President, he would tell the National Institutes of Health, “Thank you for public service. We’re going to give infectious disease a break for about eight years.” Instead, he pledged to focus NIH’s efforts entirely on chronic disease like diabetes. Pivoting government research away from infectious diseases during the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic would have disastrous consequences. And Kennedy’s claim that he will focus on chronic disease is short-sighted — chronic disease is often caused or worsened by infectious diseases like COVID. Diseases don’t take a break from threatening our lives and health, and we shouldn’t take a break from trying to prevent and mitigate diseases.

The worst public health harms in US history have been inflicted on marginalized communities when our public health systems “took a break” from protecting us. In the same way, marginalized communities would bear the brunt of a decision to abandon HHS’ responsibility to study infectious diseases.

We are dismayed by RFK Jr. becoming Secretary of HHS because the policies he supports will harm many people. This is especially true for autistic people. It is an embarrassment that our leaders chose to put RFK Jr. in a position to oversee public health given his rejection of science and his comments about autism. Our autistic lives are worth living. Our lives are worth saving. Our officials must recognize both.

Nothing about us, without us.

[anim-ttrpgs]

"The Eye of Neptune," a Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy Adventure Module

This previously patreon-exclusive adventure module was just released in beta on itch.io!

This adventure module takes place in 2020 during the height of the pandemic lockdowns, and actually has two possible starting points, one where your characters are fishermen picking up a distress signal from an off-shore oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico, and one where your characters are workers on that oil rig.

This horror-mystery adventure module should last you about 1-2 sessions.

You can download it here. Payment is optional, but highly appreciated!

Here’s the full adventure hook under the cut.

Route A: Man has built a city of steel and black blood atop the endless abyss. It is a beating heart bound together with labyrinthian pipe veins. Hundreds of miles away from civilization, it stands in the midst of the Gulf of Mexico with naught but empty horizons around it. Within is a vast structure of winding halls, grinding machinery, and thousands upon thousands of small parts working to achieve a grand design. It is the Offshore Oil Rig Neptune, and it was once run by 200 workers. Now, in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, it has fallen to more or less a dozen. These last vestiges of life in the rig spread themselves thin and work their hands to the bone to keep the massive beast running. In the midst of this overwhelming isolation, two members of the already shorthanded crew are unaccounted for, Seth Barlowe and Lukas Ward. The installation manager, Noah, has convened a meeting to try to find out what happened to them. With the crew already severely shorthanded and tensions running high, a mysterious disappearance is the last thing anyone needs. 

Route B: “Mayday, Mayday, Mayday…” Hundreds of miles away from civilization, a distress call echoes out to a fishing boat about a hundred miles south of shore in the Gulf of Mexico. It hails from a city of steel and black blood atop the seemingly endless abyss, powered by a beating heart bound together with labyrinthian pipe veins - the Offshore Oil Rig Neptune. The distress signal continues, in a haggard and nervous male voice: “This is the fixed drilling platform Neptune (spoken three times). 

Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, fixed drilling platform Neptune. My position is 27.383 North, 93.299 West. My vessel is under assault by an unknown perpetrator, and I am requesting immediate evacuation.

I have fourteen persons aboard, this message will repeat.”

A few moments after the message is received, a radio response from the Coast Guard reports that they have received the Neptune’s distress call, but they are weathered-in due to a storm - neither boat nor helicopter will be able to respond for eight hours at minimum. Those aboard the fishing boat set a course to investigate, perhaps out of compassion or perhaps out of legal obligation - and what they will find when they arrive is anyone’s guess.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive

by Lydia Wilkins

“Come back to me when you start wanting children,” my gynecologist said. I had asked about the implications on fertility, thanks to my Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) diagnosis — and was dismissed once again. It enveloped me with such despair.

For over two years I was shunted between varying medical offices, from primary care to an STI clinic. Among many disabling symptoms, I was experiencing hair loss and excessive hair growth along my jawline since my SARS-C0V-2 infection. After developing Long COVID in March 2022, doctors considered me a “medical curiosity” and tested me endlessly, leading to wrong diagnosis after wrong diagnosis. I was prescribed medication after medication, but nothing seemed to help.

Eventually, I added another diagnosis to my chart when I was diagnosed with PCOS by a gynecologist. The hormonal condition is lifelong, presenting with symptoms such as excessive hair, hair loss, fatigue, and irregular periods. The World Health Organization recognizes PCOS as a leading cause of infertility; you are also at risk of other conditions such as diabetes. The gynecologist additionally said there was a possibility that I have endometriosis, in which tissue from the uterus grows in places where it should not be. Endometriosis is recognized for extreme levels of life-impacting pain and is also associated with infertility.

The impact of Long COVID on sexual health is still not fully known, but there are serious signs of sexual and reproductive health being impacted. To be a disabled woman who has to advocate for herself, with the research, in the face of medical indifference is beyond exhausting. At every stage, I have correctly diagnosed myself, while specialists would play “catch-up.”

Why are medical experts and public health officials not sounding the alarm, to warn the public about the impact of Long COVID on fertility?

Like COVID-19 which leaves inflammation in its wake, PCOS is also thought to be an inflammation-related condition. PCOS is primarily a hormonal condition that impacts an estimated one in ten women and may put you at higher risk of severe COVID-19, according to research. PCOS can also make it more difficult to get pregnant, or, like endometriosis, increase complications during pregnancy.

I still have so many questions, such as if there is anything I could do now to mitigate the chronic nature of PCOS. Yet, doctors continually fob off these questions, shrouding me in a patronizing expectation of “having to wait until you start having children,” as if once I am interested in children, I will gain admission to an elite secret club of better care.

The UK campaigning group Long COVID Kids has documented the wider impact of Long COVID on reproductive health — such as changes to menstruation and triggering menopause. The same post also points to a study of the negative impact on ovarian function, along with other triggered conditions such as ovarian cysts.

A Patient-Led Research Collaborative review also found that women with Long Covid had increased rates of reproductive health issues — including, but not limited to, endometriosis, infertility, ovarian cysts, and other conditions. The review also mentioned another condition I am waiting to be tested for, after two years of misdiagnosis — POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome). Why are these conditions not considered in tandem with each other, to save time and needless testing that causes nothing but distress?

We also know that COVID-19 tends to disrupt menstruation, as well as “fertility potential.” COVID-19 impacts male fertility, too, reducing sperm counts even after mild infections and causing erectile dysfunction. Some people with Long COVID are opting out of having children altogether, because of the strain of delivery and childbearing to the body, or because of the inability to raise or financially support a child.

Before catching COVID-19, I was bouncy, energetic, and socially confident. I had never had any notable health issues; now, my hair falls out in clumps, enough that my hairdresser has adapted to hide the thinning hairline. Excessive hair growth dominates my jawline and eyebrows. There’s also acne, dark spots of skin, and tense bloating warranting “she’s pregnant!” commentary from friends, family, and colleagues. There are few resources on how to cope with such an overwhelming diagnosis and aftermath.

I have been disabled from birth — but attempting to access reproductive healthcare with Long COVID has been a rough learning experience. Thanks to a litany of traumatic experiences when seeking relief from Long COVID, I am now obliged to take a chaperone with me to all medical appointments. Medical professionals speak to my chaperone as if they are the patient — “what can I do to help?”

We are told we have to trust medical professionals — but that trust is a privilege not afforded to disabled people in healthcare settings.

I, in turn, am the “sweetheart” spoken at with “the voice.” Disabled people everywhere know it — slow and childlike, patronizing and loud. I am not afforded dignity or privacy as a result. Other professionals have asked for free disability education instead of discussing my symptoms; it’s an inappropriate presumption, as well as beyond bitterly distressing.

My care was also marked by desexualization, or being reduced to the presumed state of a child. Doctors assumed, “she’s disabled — so she won’t be interested in any of that,” as Lucy Webster documented in her book, The View From Down Here.

Disabled women learn to suppress our anger to achieve any kind of diagnostic result, never “speaking to” the weighted horror. We have dreams, too — but they are tempered by societal commentary, both inside and outside a medical setting. I used to dream of an ordinary life, maybe a life of growing old with a partner, a house, a family in some way. Now, I realize it would be a privilege to not be questioned about these wants or to not be subject to constant commentary.

Women have long been advocating for better reproductive healthcare in the Western world; PCOS has long been misunderstood, with treatment often merely consisting of being told, “just lose weight.” A lack of curiosity has written off reproductive healthcare as only “a woman’s issue” for far too long.

More research on the emerging connection between reproductive health and Long COVID is needed, as is a deliberate culture shift in any caring profession. That can only start with education aimed at ending ingrained stigma. Health is a collective concept — and if we forget that, the pandemic has taught us nothing.

[mariacallous]

For half a millennium until the Holocaust, the cosmopolitan city of Thessaloniki, Greece, had a unique claim to fame: it was Europe’s only major city with a Jewish majority. 

But the golden age of Thessaloniki’s mostly Sephardic Ladino-speaking Jewish community came to a sudden end with the Nazi occupation of Greece in 1941 and turned cataclysmic with the deportation two years later to Auschwitz of nearly all the city’s Jews. By the end of World War II, some 65,000 Greek Jews — 87% of the total and 96% of those from Thessaloniki — had been killed, leaving barely 2,000 survivors in Thessaloniki (also known as Salonika).

Among them were the parents of Dr. Albert Bourla, a veterinarian who would go on to become the chairman and CEO of Pfizer, one of the world’s largest pharmaceutical companies.

In 2022, Bourla won the Genesis Prize — often described as the Jewish Nobel — for having led the development of Pfizer’s COVID-19 vaccine. Stan Polovets, co-founder and chairman of the Genesis Prize Foundation, said in announcing the reward, “Millions of people are alive and healthy because of what Dr. Bourla and his team at Pfizer have accomplished.”

Now, with global antisemitism at its worst levels since World War II, Bourla is about to realize another milestone: the long-awaited opening of a Holocaust Museum of Greece. 

Bourla donated the $1 million Genesis Prize money toward construction of the museum. The museum is also being funded by the Stavros Niarchos Foundation, and the governments of Greece and Germany. The management of the museum is currently trying to raise an additional $10 million.

“Those who know me know that in addition to being very proud of my Jewish heritage, I am equally proud of being Greek,” Bourla said in an emotional June 2022 speech in Jerusalem accepting the Genesis Prize. “My mother’s courage and optimism came from her experience of narrowly escaping death at the hands of the Nazis. In fact, both of my parents turned their experience surviving the Holocaust into something positive and life-affirming. This clearly shaped my worldview.”

The 9,000-square-foot museum occupying eight floors in an octagon-shaped structure will be located at the site of Thessaloniki’s Old Railway Station, where the first Nazi train carrying Jews to Auschwitz departed on March 15, 1943. 

But the museum, slated to open in 2026, won’t be just about the tragedy of the Holocaust. Exhibits and artifacts will tell the story of more than 2,300 years of Greek Jewish history in Thessaloniki and 38 other communities, beginning with the ancient Romaniote Jews who settled in Greece during the reign of Alexander the Great.

At an Oct. 29 groundbreaking ceremony in Thessaloniki, Polovets was joined by German President Frank-Walter Steinmeier, Greek President Katerina Sakellaropoulou, and local dignitaries and Holocaust survivors.

“I was honored to participate and was moved by the ceremony, during which President Steinmeier said he ‘felt shame’ and that the memory of what was done to the Jewish people on this site ‘cannot be erased.’ That is why this museum is so important,” Polovets said. “The memory of this once-vibrant Greek Jewish community and its near destruction by the Nazis —  especially during the current wave of rising global antisemitism — must never be erased.”

Only about 5,000 Jews remain in Greece: About 4,000 live in Athens, and the remainder live in Thessaloniki, Ioannina, Rhodes, Corfu and other communities. Meanwhile, Greece has not been immune to the wave of antisemitism sweeping Europe. Vandalism of Jewish cemeteries and Holocaust memorials is fairly commonplace.

A 2014 global survey of antisemitism by the Anti-Defamation League found that 69% of Greeks harbor antisemitic views — the highest percentage of any country in the world outside the Middle East. While those findings are sometimes disputed, Greece continues to struggle with antisemitism. 

However, physical violence against Greek Jews is extremely rare, and the current Greek government, as well as the one that preceded it, are considered among the most pro-Israel in Europe. Greece observes International Holocaust Remembrance Day, and in 2014 the parliament outlawed Holocaust denial.

A big push for the Holocaust museum came from Thessaloniki’s former mayor, 82-year-old Yiannis Boutaris, who died on Nov. 4, less than a week after the Holocaust museum’s groundbreaking ceremony. Boutaris announced that his city would build the museum at a 2017 event attended by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and other dignitaries.

“It will symbolize our shame,” Boutaris said at the time, “for what happened, for what we did, and mostly for what we could not or did not wish to do… during and after the war.”

In addition to Bourla, other famous Jews with roots in Thessaloniki include actor Hank Azaria, Israeli businessman and philanthropist Leon Recanati, his sister the philanthropist Jude Recanati, actress Lea Michele, former Nevada congresswoman Shelley Berkley and Belgian-born American fashion designer Diane von Fürstenberg. 

Polovets said Bourla’s donation aligns with the Genesis Prize Foundation’s values and mission of inspiring Jewish pride.

“With the rise of global antisemitism, education will be at the center of the museum’s activities, hosting permanent and temporary exhibitions and archives that will highlight the value of preserving the remembrance of the Holocaust, acceptance and respect for diversity, human rights, and freedom,” he said.

Polovets said he hopes the museum will inspire visitors to fight hatred from spreading today.

“Hatred in any form leads to denial, disrespect and destruction,” he said. “Democracy and respect for others are values that can never be taken for granted, and each of us has a responsibility to stand up to all forms of hatred.”

[caricabubamarica]

Since I’ve discovered Lego Ninjago at the ripe age of seven, the biggest fantasy of mine has always been to be one of the ninja on the team, fighting alongside the core four and dealing with Serpentine and so on. When I was a little girl, the only way I could satisfy the urge was to use my imagination.

So when the Covid 19 hit back in 2020, and I discovered Wattpad for the first time in my life, it was as if I had entered a whole new world based off of the imagination of other people all across the world. I was spending days and nights on it until there was nothing worth reading for me.

Back in 2022, I finally decided to catch up on the show, seeing it pop up on my Netflix account and decided to give it a go. Before so, I had developed a habit of reading dozens of fan fictions about the show I was at the moment hooked onto, so once I finished watching all of the Ninjago seasons, I went through any fan fiction on Wattpad that I could find regarding Ninjago x reader/original character and quickly noticed a pattern that made me grow bored of whatever book I was reading rather quickly.

Every single fan fiction, save for few rare ones, had the main character be an elemental master of darkness/destruction.

Every. Single. One.

Now at first, I thought the issue stemmed from the fact that there was an obvious lack of originality and uniqueness, but it actually originated from the fact that every story had the exact same storyline, and I mean the exact same one.

The main character would be an elemental master of darkness/destruction and because the elemental powers are inherited, the character is obviously the child of Lord Garmadon and a sibling of Lloyd. Of course, let’s not forget that the character has extreme protectiveness over Lloyd and despises their mother with concerning levels of rage. They are always stubborn and a badass character who never does no wrong and is always in the right and somehow knows exactly what is going to happen but still messes up so the plot can continue as it originally does.

They are also, obviously, the fifth ninja who also possesses a golden weapon of their own, which is usually the most useless thing to ever exist. During the Season 2: Legacy of the Green Ninja, they are in most cases turned to the bad side because their power is unbeatable but it is then somehow beatable because the plot obviously has to move on. Not to mention, they are the only ninja who can use their elemental powers without the golden weapons because they are just that good.

I can guarantee that if anyone goes to Wattpad right now and tries to find a longer Ninjago book with the character insert, they would find at least few books who resemble this exact description. Why? Because the idea of a character, other than Garmadon, who is an elemental master of darkness and destruction is a great plot and idea for the character in Ninjago realm, but none of them actually think outside the box when it comes to actually executing it.

For example, when they write the character to be the fifth ninja and the fifth protector of the fifth golden weapon and the prophesied green savior, why don’t they write about the fact that the element of darkness and destruction is the toughest for Lloyd to master because he refuses to become like his father and because the element itself takes a toll on the mind of the one who possesses it?

Or why don’t they write about the fact that the reason the Ninjago realm is not perfect is because the First Spinjitzu Master used the element of destruction to create something, only for it to come back to bite him in the ass?

Why don’t they give the character the arc of trying to master their elemental power after Lloyd gives each of the ninja a piece of his golden power in Season 3: Rebooted, only for them to go down the wrong path?

Why don’t they write about the inner conflict the child of Lord Garmadon who inherited his elemental powers would have when they see that what others call a gift, in their case it is called a curse? Why don’t they expand on the feelings of envy the child would feel towards Lloyd for being praised and cherished for his destiny while they are looked down on for their own?

There is so many different possibilities to that plot device and yet I have yet to see someone do it properly.

I apologize if this offends anyone but it has been bugging me for three years now and I had to write it down somewhere where I could hear different opinions about it. I am not trying to shame anyone on their work or anything, if that is what you want to write, go for it, I am a nobody with no life who is still hung up on a kids show that aired back in 2011.

Enjoy what you want, love what you want, and take this how you want. Luv ya!

[mitigatedchaos]

Kontextmaschine is Dead

(~1,000 words, 5m)

Noted blogger @kontextmaschine is presumed dead, following the discovery that the sole resident at his most likely residence was found deceased during a wellness check initiated by concerned Redditors.

Prior to his last post on Aug 22, which indicated a serious health problem, he reported taking over twice the dose of creatine he had been taking at the beginning of his lengthy post-COVID health saga, in which he also reported becoming bisexual, having "zero" anxiety, gaining 3D vision after years of not having it, becoming incredibly convincing, and having to learn to walk and use his muscles properly again. At the time, he felt he was becoming trimmer and physically stronger, and reported engaging in a long project of yard work, although photos from the inside of his house generally looked somewhat messy.

A Tumblr user who met him briefly in person after the beginning of the health saga but before these most recent events reported that he was friendly, charismatic, hospitable, and clean, but "physically, a mess," with motor control issues on one side of his body.

Topics of discussion were similar to the content of kontextmaschine's blog, such as differences in east and west coast government in America, said to be "totally on brand," but it was said that the prolific poster seemed "less self-grandiose" in person.

Redditors theorize that the decline of kontextmaschine's health following his first self-report of COVID-19 infection may have been due to undiagnosed brain cancer, which could be more consistent with observed changes in behavior than the after-effects of a viral infection, given that most reports of "long covid" are about effects like fatigue, and not total loss of anxiety or alteration of sexual orientation.

Despite multiple suggestions, from both anonymous and pseudonymous users, kontextmaschine refused to seek professional medical care for his condition.

Regarding the mourning of public figures, in 2018, a period of increased Progressive sensitivity during the Trump Administration, kontextmaschine wrote,

through the years realized that through whatever blind groping the ‘90s-ass “edgelords” were desperately trying to save us from this, through proper gatekeeping and filtering at first I’d thought it was gratuitous and supported it being relaxed, maybe not shaming everyone who publicly mourned a suicide, mea culpa, mea culpa, I have debts to pay

In 2019, he added:

That was how we kept the internet culture from growing mawkish and cry-bullyish: basically, if you were so weak as to get weepy over corpsemeat you got cancelled, the shame would follow you forever and you’d never be allowed to forget it.

Given his writing, it is likely that kontextmaschine would not have supported excessive public mourning over his death, though in 2017, following the theft of his motorcycle, when the popular blogger @argumate jokingly criticized him by writing, "no references to pinball, no insight into historical Americana, this isn’t the kontext I signed up for," kontextmaschine wrote,

“when bad shit happens people mock me accurately” is the community I’ve been looking for my whole life so

Like argumate, perhaps the most famous of the rationalist-adjacent bloggers on Tumblr, screenshots of kontextmaschine's Tumblr posts would end up on outside websites.

Kontextmaschine was generally considered an interesting, if controversial writer. One Tumblr user characterized him as a member of the "obnoxious Tumblr right," though another user asked, "wait, how is kontextmaschine is right wing?" After another user claimed that the nuclear bombing of Oregon would be a net improvement in the world due to kontextmaschine's residence in Portland, tumblr user @random-thought-depository wrote a 2,400 word theory post arguing that kontextmaschine's philosophy was a means to coordinate to join a future political coalition favoring the formation of a more brutal and oppressive hierarchy in pursuit of his own advantage.

Though kontextmaschine's ideology advocates that humanity should adopt "r-selection," meaning more offspring with less investment in each (or youth, sex, and death), this blog dissented against the coalition theory, arguing that motorcycles, kung fu, women, Hollywood, and not having to report to HR are all traditionally cool, and the causality of the kontextmaschine ideology could easily run the other way.

Though he had a period of identifying as female in his youth, appropriately LGBTQ for a Tumblr user, his 2011 statement of principles, including "the lesser yields to the greater" and "suffering is the mark of a wrong person," and general body of work, could be described as a strain of right-wing thought, though not of the traditionalist Christian or rational technocratic varieties.

Prior to the post-covid health saga, kontextmaschine's health posting was primarily about his bipolar disorder, with both manic and depressive phases.

Kontextmaschine maintained generally friendly relations with other bloggers in his sphere of discourse, sometimes debating but rarely aggressive, except in response to anonymous hatemail. In response to one particular piece of hatemail, kontextmaschine stated that as a writer, of course his primary form of influence would be his posts.

In a post chain reblogged by dozens of Tumblr users, multiple Tumblr users wrote that they enjoyed his writing and are disappointed by his death, describing him as a unique thinker that will not be easily replaced. Several felt that there was not much they could have done, as after returning from his covid infection, he was not taking medical advice.

One Tumblr user wrote, "rip. Inspirational manic poster," while long-time and prolific poster argumate described him as, "one of the bloggers of all time."

Internet users speculate that Kontextmaschine is survived by his outdoor cat, Badger, about whom he posted frequently. He may also be survived by other members of his family, with whom he apparently did not live, and rarely spoke about.

It is recommended that enthusiasts of kontextmaschine's blog make backups of his writing for archival purposes.

[a-d-nox]

pluto in aquarius: a prediction of what's to come

this is a huge astrological event, pluto is moving into aquarius for the first time since the late 1700s. last time pluto was in aquarius america fought for independence from britain, uranus was discovered, the french revolution began, the bill of rights was ratified, etc.

so for day one, i want to create predictions of what is to come!

some house matters!!!

TWO PLUTO RETROGRADES WILL OCCUR - june 11th - jan 20th, 2024 is the first so we won't see too much wildness just yet as pluto will return into capricorn during this time and THE FINAL RETROGRADE BACK INTO CAPRICORN will be september 1st, 2024 - november 19th, 2024. then we are full steam ahead with pluto in aquarius until march 9th, 2043.

i personally am NOT a witch or anything wild, everything i am saying is purely theoretical - it is not fated to happen just because i am saying it. i am simply socially aware. i know what's up generally in the world today and what was up in world in the 1700s - "history typically repeats itself."

i live in the usa so my post likely will be slightly more focused there examples wise so i apologize in advance! feel free to comment, dm, or reblog with other examples from your country based on my prediction key phrases.

i am going to start light and get darker so mentally prepare yourself for that (tw: STI/STD outbreaks, war, 9/11, COVID-19, and other abrasive topics that may make people uncomfortable depending on where they are currently reading from) - but we are talking about pluto so... expect the unexpected?!

let's do this.

renewable energy sources

aquarius is electricity, light, inventions, electronics, telephones, televisions, etc while pluto can be change! i recently bought a new tv and the back of the remote has a solar panel instead of a battery pack. i do believe we will see more evolution with technology; perhaps we will see solar changed phones! otherwise pluto is also pollution and natural disasters - the climate is in crisis mode perhaps we will see more responsibility and thus changes in our sourcing of energy! example: recently i read that japan has a great source of geothermal energy. currently the conversion to using this source (instead of coal, gas, and nuclear energy) is being held up by a higher up in the hot spring business who claims switching to a new energy system "threatens centuries-old traditions" (bang - a capricorn term - tradition - so perhaps after the retrogrades are through we will see a major shift in energy sourcing).

general technological advancements/inventions

last time pluto was in aquarius the cotton gin was invented; which aided in quicker production of goods and higher demand for american cotton. i strongly believe this is a general indicator that AI is going to become an even bigger part of day to day life. i have seen AI already replace those who take orders in the panera drive thru, there is a higher demand for philosophy/english grads to help teach AI, etc. aquarius is also new teachers/occupations so AI could become the new teachers OR new careers could be coming in the area of interacting with AI generally so it gains more consciousness. so it could be AI or it could be something else that is only just a dream in the back of someone's mind at this moment in time.

altruistic extremists

we may see utopian dreamers rise up! they are likely to advocate for the deconstruction of pre-existing political institutions in favor of either self governance or egalitarian policies. they will likely do whatever it takes to make this statement; we may see more protests / political statements similar to wynn bruce's.

fanatical/extremist announcers radio/tv

we already have biased stations and channels (fox, abc, cnn, nbc, etc). we are likely to see a further rise in politically biased newscasters and announcers.

demonization of astrology

astrology is aquarian in nature but pluto is fanatics, evil, demonics, etc. the community has been saying about the next world war for a while now. we are moving out of conservative pluto in capricorn, so we may find that those of deep belief systems accusing us [astrologers] of conspiring with the devil if/when something militant arises (similar to how the tarot community gets told constantly by christians that they must be satanists).

something with birds

i don't have this nailed down yet specifically, but both aquarius and pluto are rulers of birds. aquarius is large birds while pluto is wading/swamp birds and/or flesh eating birds. no one freak out and start thinking that i am indicating something like the 1963 horror film the birds. if anything i can see more bird-spread illness and/or parasites. OR pluto can be archaeology! there may be a bird related discovery or something to do with the distant relative of the bird - aka the raptor (dinosaur related).

a new STI/STD discovery/outbreak

aquarius represents the distribution of bodily fluids while pluto is often representative of sexual activity. this could either be an outbreak because pluto can be death, extremes, catastrophes, and/or casualties OR pluto can be ph balance in the body (possible new discoveries for feminine sexual health), kidneys (perhaps a discovery will be linked to the diminished functionality associated with syphilis, hiv, etc and how to combat more symptomatic issues), and even purification (aka a cure perhaps to help viral carriers to no longer pass the sti/std to sexual partners).

collapse of congress / house of commons/representatives

i mean it only stands to reason that the bill of rights was created/approved last time pluto was in aquarius that either those rights will disappear (pluto also represents dictators) OR simply the people rise up and demolish the institution as it stands: "...whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government..."

airplane catastrophes

aquarius rules over planes and pluto can represent accomplices, catastrophes, casualties, b0mbs, and t3rr0r!sm. we may experience another event similar to 9/11 OR we may see air strikes in a potential world war 3 scenario.

societal change: crime, war, leadership, and more

world war 3 is on the horizon so say pluto in aquarius (probably in the wake of election year in the US - when the final retrograde into capricorn concludes). but this could also just be governmental restructuring - this could be seen as rebellions (similar to the French Revolution), the rise of organized crime if good become more scarce, religious shifts (pluto is the antichrist, aquarius is freewill (first amendment), and capricorn is the old church (christian schools of thought)), etc.

aquarian terms i can't think of change in but seem important to note / keep in mind: freethinkers, hamburg germany, heart weakness (biden - perhaps the early death of a president in office?), motion picture (already changing as more theaters close), photography, psychology (we are already starting to care more about everyone's mental health), science (general scientific discoveries?), social affairs (there is always something going on - the question is how big will this be?), society, sweden, syria, and xray.

plutonian terms i can't think of change in but seem important to note / keep in mind: abductions (aliens - ufo sights?), aliases, alibis (governmental riffing similar to how no plan was in place when for COVID-19), assass!nat!0n (hopefully not), betrayal, bootlegging (bootleg tiktok if america bans it?), cemeteries (removal of that method if too many are dying at any giving time - mass graves?), convicts (prison release due to overcrowding? the mega-prison of el salvador?), corruption (governmental likely?), demolitions, earthquakes (more environmental issues?), electrocution, executions (war?), fanatic, extremes, floods (environmental? emigration - society is aquarius after all?), liars, massacres (the rise of crime?), murder, nihilism (the rise of philosophy at the time of war?), ransom (war?), satire (rise of political satire?), stolen goods, and taxes (trump-esque no?).

like what you read? leave a tip and state what post it is for! please use my “suggest a post topic” button if you want to see a specific post or mythical asteroid next!

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© a-d-nox 2023 all rights reserved

[leosficlist]

Johnlock Fluff rec list Part 2!

Back again! Here are some stories of getting together, and fluffy domestic warm fuzzy feelings!

Fluff 1, Fluff 3 , Fluff 4

The Barter System by brbsoulnomming 6.9k words

“Sherlock and John form a bartering system. Well, Sherlock does, anyway.”

notes: sharing clothes, getting together, includes a first time but overall feels fluff

A Long December by LondonSpirit 3.1k words

John and Sherlock get snowed in, Sherlock doesn't feel well and John looks after him.

notes: first kiss, bed sharing for warmth

Hope Springs Eternal by QuinnAnderson 4k words

John Watson and Sherlock Holmes go on holiday, and Sherlock has romance on the brain.

notes: Sherlock being romantic, first kiss/time

The Source of Light by bookjunkiecat 4k words

During the outbreak of the virus, John, as medical personnel, is essential on the medical frontlines. This means a necessary separation from his loved ones. Stretched thin, exhausted, he nevertheless makes time for a Skype call with Sherlock and Rose. Even though all he wants is to finally tell Sherlock how much he loves him, now isn't the time. Circumstances, however, don't always work as we expect.

notes: parentlock, COVID-19 mention

Insomnia by youtextd 4.4k words

Sherlock and John can't sleep.

notes: love filled getting together, first time

So, this is normal for us now? by TooManyChoices 1.4k words

John and Sherlock have been sharing a flat, and a life for some time. This is a story of how the glacially slow movement of their relationship makes another agonising crawl forward another inch.

notes: bed sharing, mentions sex but no smut

It’s In The Details by KimbiaBlue 4.2k words

“I’d like for us to meet with a forensic artist, to determine how capable we are of describing one another to a perfect stranger, should there be a need in future.”

In which John struggles to adequately describe Sherlock Holmes, and also thinks about his lips a lot.

notes: post-mary, no baby mention

Nothing So Sweet by @alexxphoenix42 5.2k

In an alternate universe, Sherlock is busy keeping to himself, tending his bees, and selling lovely jars of honey when a soldier limps into his life quite unexpectedly.

notes: au, first date first time fluff

and stand there at the edge of my affection by coloredink 2.6k

"You've written love letters," Sherlock asserted.

A Bit of Spring by Avice 3.3k words

Sherlock is in love and almost buys flowers. John is confused until a good old fumble in the dark helps him see the light.

notes: sherlock in love, jealous john, trapped together first kiss, first time

A hiccup in the plan by jamlockk 1.3k words

"In retrospect, it might have happened anyway. As it was, circumstances converged to create conditions conducive to finding himself trapped in a small space, pressed close to his half-furious, half-laughing flatmate, trying desperately to stop the undignified squeaks erupting from his esophagus. Sherlock later reflected that, if he'd known that's all it would take for John to kiss him, he'd have got stuck in a cupboard on a stake out long ago."

34 Minutes by bendingsignpost 4.6k words

An experiment in eye contact.

notes: truly lovely

Wish I Was in Heaven Sitting Down by @blogstandbygo 3.2k words 🔒

Five times when Sherlock and John ate together, and one time they didn't. A history of the boys, in food.

notes: through the years til post s4, minorly hurt john

The Trouble With Being Subtle by Victory Candescence 5.4k words

In which Sherlock experiments, John misinterprets, and everyone else stands back and waits for the light to turn on.

notes: Sherlock is bad at flirting

[bloodinesslooksgoodonyou]

Ficlet: How would you describe your ideal life in 10 years?

We interviewed Mikhailo “Mickey” Milkovich, who was 16 years old when the first interview took place, consecutively through 2011 to 2021, asking him to describe his ideal life in 10 years. Mickey grew up in the South Side of Chicago.

Here are the transcripts of the interviews.

2011

Mickey: “…shit, I don’t know. 100 bucks, you said? Just for doing this? (Inaudible) [I]f I’m being honest, not bein’ fuckin’ dead. Or a fiend, or whatever. Bein’ able to sell shit and afford shit like food or booze, probably.”

2012

Following his release from the juvenile detention center, we agreed to resume the interview series with Mickey despite the delay.

Mickey: “Not bein’ locked up. That’s for sure. Other than that, I don’t know. Run a business, I guess. Make somethin’ for myself. It’s bullshit anyways. Who the fuck knows what happens in 10 years’ time.”

2013

Mickey got married and was expecting a baby. He had declined the interview before showing up visibly intoxicated and demanded the reward.

2014

Mickey reached out to us, asking if he could still meet us for an interview, because he was trying to “make things right” as “life has taken a somewhat better turn.”

Mickey: “Wanna be able to take care of some shit that’s been happenin’. Be able to fix ‘em for good, I hope. And [take care of] some people, too, like my sister. Thanks for letting me do this, anyway. You didn’t have to.”

2015

Mickey: “Ian bein’ okay. Healthier, more stable, at least. Yev bein’ okay. That’s what I want. Best if we are still together.”

Interviewer: “And Ian is your…?”

Mickey: “Boyfriend. Yev is my son. And I hope they either lock up Terry—he’s my dad—for good or I manage to turn his dumbass head around on this.”

Interviewer: “This?”

Mickey: “The whole, bein’ gay thing.”

2016

Mickey was incarcerated for the entire year. We wrote to him about setting up an interview through phone call but did not hear back.

2017-2018

We were unable to make contact with Mickey.

2019

Mickey reached out again from prison to set up an in-person interview during visiting hours.

Mickey: “Gettin’ outta this shithole. Settlin’ down. Startin’ a family with him (Ian, who was Mickey’s boyfriend from the 2015 interview, and at that time, also his cellmate). And fuck Terry, I hope he’d be fuckin’ dead by then.”

2020

Mickey got released from prison and married to Ian both at the beginning of the year, prior to the Covid-19 pandemic. We were able to set up a Zoom interview with him during lockdown.

Mickey: “Not bein’ stuck at home all the fuckin’ time. Get off parole and go back down south once in a while for vacation time.”

2021

Mickey: “This right here’s good enough for me. Maybe buy a house, get a dog or two.”

Interviewer: “What about Ian?”

Mickey: “What about him? [Are] you askin’ if I’d still be married to him? That ain’t never in doubt.”

[midnight-fables]

Entry 13: Grand Canyons of Scars

GIF by @mithrandirl

Bearblr Promptober Day 13: Hot Cocoa + Baking

Summary: In which Carmen has the worst panic attack of his life.

Warnings: Panic attack, swearing, trouble breathing, vomiting, pain, Carmy feels like he's dying, The Devil (Chef David) makes an appearance, written with fem reader who is a trauma surgeon in mind, she/her pronouns.

Notes: All journal entries will be titled as such and tagged with #cb journal.

This is a two-parter. Second part here.

Reblogs and comments appreciated. Thank you to @carmenberzattosgf for putting together this prompt list.

13 Oct 2024

I’m glad I had the panic attack in the park before the one I had at home. Because if I had the one at home first, I’m fairly certain Darling wouldn’t’ve looked at me the same again.

The Devil was a food critic now. Should’ve been a downgrade from being one of the best chefs in the world, but jokes on all of us miserable fucks, he was making a fuckton of money without having to step foot in another sweltering, loud, stressful kitchen again. Not that he felt stress. He didn’t feel anything.

He wasn’t a fucking human.

You know how if there is a God, he’s out for my blood, right? Well, I have proof of that now. Exhibit A: I find out this information while chopping chocolate for hot cocoa at my apartment—aside: fuck landlords, it took him a month to fix my range, and the radiator in the bedroom still won’t fucking work—and what comes on during the ad break of the baking show I have running in the background so the place isn’t painfully quiet while I’m waiting on Darling to come up from the parking lot after a long shift?

Aside 2: She was at the hospital for 19 fucking hours, you piece of shit. You fucking deadbeat. That’s the day you did this to her.

“Part of the reason we’re seeing so many restaurants close down, especially after the COVID-19 pandemic, is because of the social culture around dining out changing,” Chef David said.

If I had any control of my body, I would’ve kept my eyes off the T.V., ran over to the remote, and changed the channel or turned it off. That’s it. It sounds so fucking simple when I write this down, but that’s not how it went. It’s not how it’s ever going to go because The Devil left gouges, chasms in my psyche, Grand Canyons of scars that I put shitty fucking rope bridges over and that I could never—and I can never, I know this—fill in. No, I froze. I froze like The Devil’s breath was fanning out over the back of my neck, and the plates were moving too slowly, and I repeated ingredients again, and I should’ve been dead I should’ve been dead I should’ve—

One of the weirdest consequences of working for The Devil was that I could remember every single word he said to me. It was paramount that I did. He spat venom at me if I missed anything he said the first time. Every little thing—down to his fucking hatred of fucking black pepper—I memorized it. I knew that tilt of his head when he sensed an excuse, that eyebrow twitch when he expected a verbal answer, the furrow that formed and dissipated in the blink of an eye when he decided something had too much in it and needed to be stripped further. He walked differently when he was going to berate me. His cadence was different when I fucked up versus when I insulted humanity for existing.

So, as I stood, a marble carving in the kitchen, knife hovering over a chunk of Valrhona 55% dark chocolate already half-shredded into flakes, all I could do was watch the white reflection coming off the blade tremble more and more, all I could do was absorb every. Single. Word. The Devil said, as the voice in my head screamed at my body to move. To do something. To make the voice stop. As I tried to fight through the noise to tell myself it wasn’t real and that it was a dream, and I couldn’t be back in New York, Darling wasn’t in New York, and I couldn’t’ve imagined her this vividly.

“… with the rise… like Uber Eats and Doordash, people are just not finding it necessary to go out to dining halls and enjoy meals. They can get a lot of the food they tend to want to eat at home on their own time without having to brace the discomforts of social expectations. This has, obviously, caused problems in the mid-to-fine dining world, where that social expectation of a dining experience is primarily what drives people in the door rather than the food itself being of some specific quality.”

Like a bolt of lightning, a searing pain erupted in my chest. The knife clattered and slid off the cutting board, off the counter, and rang as it bounced off the tile floor. I grabbed at my chest, at the thing causing the pain, as if to remove it, as if I’d find a knife there butchering me as I stood, but all I grasped was the front of my apron.

“So do you think this will change how restaurants are being run?”

“Absolutely,” The Devil said. “I think in order to survive this change in society, restaurants need to adapt to the social changes we’re seeing.”

The pain worsened and deepened and sunk into the pit of my stomach. And I tore my apron off and clawed at my shirt, trying to chase down the hands under it, under my skin, under my ribs, the ones twisting my insides around their fists.

“I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Noma has announced that it will be closing its dining hall after the service season in 2024 and opening an option more catered to people who want to be able to take the food to-go. There needs to be a shift in the industry that corresponds to the shift in the culture.”

My knees buckled, pain exploded elsewhere—I couldn’t even tell where, it all hurt. Everything hurt. World dimmed. Noise of some kind? Was that a voice? Was that The Devil’s voice?

“Carmy? Carmy!”

I couldn’t breathe. A roaring sound. Lights in my view.

Dark again. Cold. Cold on my face. Something jostled me.

“CARMEN, BREATHE!”

I can’t, sweetheart.

The Devil finally killed me.

Tell Sugar I’m sorry.

Tell ma I love her.

Piercing cold on my chest. Light. Dark. Light. Bile. I coughed and spluttered, gasped in air.

“There you go. Cough. Keep coughing.”

Pressure on my back. Light. It kept moving.

“Breathe... Breathe.” Darling sniffled, drew in a shaking breath. “In and out, slowly, all the way... You’re okay... It’s gonna be okay.”

Kitchen floor, on my side, knife and pool of vomit in view. And the stench of bile and random noise from the T.V. and freezing cold on my chest. A hand rubbing up and down my spine. Darling sniffled again. Took a deep breath.

“Sweetheart, can you hear me?”

I could. Fuck if I could respond, though.

“Carmy, baby, are you here?” something touched my hand. “Can you squeeze if you can hear me? I’m gonna have to call for an ambulance if you’re not—”

I crushed her fingers in my grip. Fuck no. No hospitals.

“Okay.” The cold sensation on my chest left, and in its wake was numbness and, weirdly, burning. The kind that made my face hurt when walking to the restaurant in the winter.

I’d just had the most brutal panic attack of my life. And this poor fucking woman—she got back from 19 fucking hours at the hospital and had to clean up that mess and me and the cut on my arm from falling on the knife. I kept wanting to help—I knew it was my fucking mess—but I couldn’t tell which way was up or down or if I was awake or asleep or what day or year it was. And I hadn’t been properly sick in a long time, but I remembered what a high fever felt like—and this felt like the highest fever of my pathetic existence. I don’t know when the T.V. turned off, but at some point, I noticed how quiet it was.

How did I end up on the couch wrapped in a blanket?

She joined me there. In her pajamas, hair up. Brought two mugs and set them on the coffee table.

“Hi, baby,” she whispered. Pulled her sleeve over her hand and patted my cheek—since when do I cry? “Do you know where you are? What happened?”

It took me a thousand years to respond.

“Panic attack?” I didn’t mean for it to come out as a strangled whisper, but I could’ve swallowed glass, my throat hurt so bad.

Oh.

That roaring sound I heard was my own screaming.

She nodded. Her eyeliner was smudged into a haze around her eyes. “Yeah. Panic attack. But it’s over now. We’re gonna try to recover, but then we need to talk about this, okay?”

I squeezed my eyes shut. I can recall now what she said, but at the time, I couldn’t understand her. The words came to me jumbled.

“Is it okay if I hold you?”

I saw that she was holding an arm out for me. I scooted towards her and hid my face in the crook of her neck. Collapsed into her scent, her softness, her warmth. I crushed a fistful of her pajama top in my hand and squeezed her like she’d disappear if I let go. She peppered kisses all over my forehead and my hairline while she sipped her hot chocolate. Murmured little comforting things to me. She kept feeling the temperature of the second mug, and, after a while, brought it first to her lips to test the temperature, then to mine for me to taste. It had coffee notes, curtesy of the type of chocolate I used, and was rich and velvety without being overly sweet.

“That feel doable, sweetheart?”

Not exactly, but I’d troubled her so much by freaking the fuck out that I sat up and took the mug. Kept sipping it. Let it wash down the pain in my throat.

“’m sorry,” I mumbled.

“Panic attacks are not your fault, baby.”

“No, but I… I should’ve…” heat in my face. “I should’ve gotten help f-for them—”

She placed a hand on my leg. “Sweetheart, I want you to try to stay calm, okay? Just let yourself recover. I promise, we’ll talk about this and figure it out, but right this moment, you need to let yourself calm back down.”

I nodded.

(To Be Continued)

[agentstarkid]

SERENDIPITY ✦ DR3

“Serendipity is an unexpected and very lucky finding, that is, a coincidence that fills us with happiness. Serendipity in love implies the feeling that the universe conspires in our favor, bringing that special person into our lives at the right time and oh boy, did the universe send her everything she ever needed in the form of a 5'10" man with a built-in accent, a love for Tim Tams, adrenaline-fueled spirit and a smile that could light up a whole town.”

✦ PAIRING: daniel ricciardo x famous!latina!reader

✦ PIT BOARD: social media au | ✦ FACE CLAIM: becky g

✦ TRACK LIMITS: female!reader, covid-19 & quarantine mentions, age gap, language.

✦ MAY'S RADIO: HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY BESTIES! 🤗💗 I've been working on this for a month, honestly I thought I was gonna finish it fast but tbh that was really naïve of me 🥴 the amount of times I ended up changing almost every little thing is insane lol but today I sat down and commited to finish and post this! this is my first ever smau or any kind of 'x reader' really, so please be kind 🤍 and of course it was going to be about the love of my life! — oh btw, my idea is to get to present time and make it angsty so let me know what you guys think! I really hope you enjoy!

series masterlist | general masterlist | next chapter >

JANUARY 01, 2020

yourinstagram and danielricciardo added to their stories!

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danielricciardo has followed yourinstagram!

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yourinstagram

♡ liked by anitta, danielricciardo and 6,546,214 others

yourinstagram 2019 was full of happiness, pain, healing and growth. I loved a lot, I cried a lot and I laughed a lot. I'm grateful for a lot of things in life, but I'm specially grateful for you guys ❤️🥂 I LOVE YOU! ❤️

tagged: selenagomez, fioamato, iamdannaschwarz, itsvittoriasousa

View all 17,321 comments

fioamato It's out with the old and in with the new ⏭️😜

iamdannaschwarz this could be the start of something new indeed 😏🤭 yourinstagram 🙈 user yourinstagram girlieee does this mean you found your Troy Bolton tonight? 👀👀👀

iamdannaschwarz what a year it has been! Through the ups and downs you prevailed. So proud of you! Cheers, amiga! 🥂❤️

itsvittoriasousa u deserve the whole world, i wish everyone knew ur heart 🥺 love you biiiiiiig ❤️

user1 can we talk about that dress!!!! jaw dropped 🤯

user2 Mami 🔥🔥🔥

selenagomez ❤️🥂🎆

user3 danny ric you ain't slick baby we can see u 👀

user4 words on the streets that they were seen pretty close the whole night 👀

user5 girlies do we think the writing on the napkin belongs to mr. ricciardo? 🧐

user4 what about the last pic?? could it be about a nod to him???

user3 somebody call the fbi and the cia we need to decode this 🔎🔎🔎

sebastianyatra una locura de año 🚀 happy new year penguin!

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JANUARY 25, 2020

justjared

♡ 9.075 Likes

justjared New couple alert?! YN LN, 21, and Formula 1 driver Daniel Ricciardo, 30, were spotted on a walk and getting cozy during a night out in New York. More photos now on JustJared.com #YNLN #Daniel Ricciardo Photos: Backgrid

View all 214 comments

user1: well that's a couple nobody saw coming 😶 good for them tho

user2: These pictures are so creepy as to get these they literally have to stalk these people and are probably hiding in bushes or wherever to get the shots

user3: he's a full-grown man in his 30s messing around with a teenager how shocking 🙄

user4: how is she a teenager if she's 21??? she is a consenting adult and has been for a while...make it make sense user5: it's a 9-year age gap not 25 😑 y'all should learn to mind your own fucking business

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FEBRUARY 05, 2020

danielricciardo added to their story!

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yourinstagram added to their story!

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yourinstagram

♡ liked by danielricciardo, greeicy and 7,452,325 others

yourinstagram starry nights, sunsets, little moments, deep conversations & special feelings 💖🃏

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iamdannaschwarz pov: you were there to witness the first conversation 🤣

itsvittoriasousa never knew a person could blush that hard 😂 yourintagram you are both getting blocked 🙅‍♀️

fioamato 🃏🃏🃏

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michaelitaliano and scottyjames31 have followed yourinstagram!

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MARCH 11 & 12, 2020

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yourinstagram has added to their story!

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APRIL 09, 2020

yourinstagram

♡ liked by danielricciardo, jbalvin and 5,723,498 others

yourinstagram Quarantine with an aussie boyfriend: turns out, 'G'day mate' is the only greeting you'll ever need. Who needs handshakes anyway? Also, you get to excessively use the word 'mate' without being judged. It's basically a linguistic free pass 🤷🏽‍♀️😂🇦🇺

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user: OMG OMG IT'S FUCKING HAPPENING!!!! EVERYBODY STAY CALM!!!

user: Dan-Y/N nation how we feeling today? 😍

user: wasn't she dating sebastianyatra tho?

user2: nah they've been friends for years

user3: «cristina» is lowkey about her tho 🤭 "you were 19, i was 23"?? and there's a 4 year age gap between them?? they deffff had something going on a few years back AT LEAST 👀

user2: who knows maybe they did, but they refer to each other as "like-a-brother" and "like-a-sister" so as far as we know they are only best friends 🤷🏽‍♀️

fioamato what do you say titi yourmomsinstagram does it get the seal of approval?

yourmomsinstagram 🤔🤔🤔 yourinstagram she face-timed me and told me to pass the phone so she could talk to him. They talked for an hour. They are besties now, she's just trying to play hard-to-get 🙃

danielricciardo and 5,345 other liked it

fioamato 😂😂😂

jbalvin encantado de verte feliz hermanita ❤️

danielricciardo tell your boyfriend he's really lucky 🤙🏼

yourinstagram thanks will do, mate 🤙🏼

user OMG??? you guys are so unserious 😭

user2 MOM??? DAD???

user3 danielricciardo yourinstagram i'm glowing, flourishing and thriving 🥰😭

michaelitaliano shitty accent though

yourinstagram I love my haters ❤️ you guys are my motivators ☺️ btw don't you have a kangaroo to fight?

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APRIL 29, 2020

yourinstagram

♡ liked by michaelitaliano, danielricciardo, lewishamilton and 6,498,498 others

yourinstagram Spanglish country…we’re doing it!! Watch kanebrown_music and I blend sounds, languages and dance moves in #LostInTheMiddleOfNowhere (Spanish Remix) 😜 song and video OUT NOW 🔥

View all 11,598 comments

iamcardib OKAAAY MAMAAA 🧊🧊🥶

lali ALTA DIOSA 🔥

user she 👏 never 👏 misses 👏

itsvittoriasousa BRO U ABSOLUTELY ATEEE

user jaw drops to floor eyes pop out of sockets hearts out of chest 😍

danielricciardo wow caliente 🔥

user the amount of unwell I am in this exact moment

user2 daniel is right. muy caliente 🥵

user3 i'm losing my mind over 2 words + emoji okay

user4 daniel stop being a cunt and make an appearence in one of Y/N's ig lives

user5 user4 you could totally hear his voice in the last one lmao

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MAY 03, 2020

danielricciardo

♡ liked by pierregasly, jensonbutton, iamdannaschwarz and 710,610 others

danielricciardo Just a bunch of life 🤠🚜🇦🇺🇺🇸

View all 1,097 comments

yourinstagram awesome taste in music mate 👍🏼

danielricciardo big fan of hers 👍🏼 love finding new underground artists ☺️ user imagine calling THE yourinstagram an "underground artist" lmaooo user2 they're both such little shits i love them your honor 😭

kristenanniebell ❤️❤️❤️

scottyjames31 I see you're in good company mate

corey_wilson goodness I miss the ranch so much

user daniel said lemme give you thirsty bitches a few droplets of water

user2 there's so much to unpack here omfg

iamdannaschwarz you're welcome 😌 also there's a no-return policy in the contract ok bye

fioamato you're welcome 😌 x2 itsvittoriasousa you're welcome 😌 x3 danielricciardo nah i think i'm gonna keep it for a long while thanks. i'll rate you guys with 5 stars 👍🏼

user3 THE LETTER ON THE LAST PHOTO ???? I'M SENDING Y'ALL MY THERAPY BILLS

user4 THE MATCHING RINGS PLEASE!!!!!!! 😭😭😭

user5 all this soft launch shit is killing me guys help somebody let them know that we already know so they can stop playing!!!

yourinstagram but where's the fun in that babes? 😌 user holy shittttt!!!! y/n ???? i- 🤯 user5 OH MY GOD!!!! HI MOTHER AJKFFLAHDASD user2 it's a fucking confirmation!!!! dan-y/n nation we got it!!! it's crumbs but we got it!!!!!

user6 we stan a suportive bf ☝️🤩

user7 999 for grammy's best album of the year ✨manifesting✨

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─── Please don't forget to reblog & comment! ♡

[ilovebubblegum]

Quarantining Together (Pedro Pascal X Reader)

Pair: pedro pascal x f!reader

Warnings: fluff, pulling pranks (let me know if i missed any)

Summary: Imagine what it’s like quarantining with Pedro Pascal.

Words: 2k

A/N: This is my first pedro fic. I tried my best to imagine how playful and sweet Pedro is in real life. I hope you like it! I’ve been writing Joel Miller fics so I guess I’ll give it a try. I know a lot of you don’t really like a real person fic but this idea came into my mind when I listened to that interview where Pedro talked about the quarantine period during covid 19 pandemic. And when he talked about his friends that supported him during that period, he was holding his cry. I kept thinking what if there was someone there who quarantined with him together so he wouldn't feel alone during the lockdown. 

“Did you hear about the news?” Pedro sat on the edge of the couch sipping on his coffee.

“What news?” You tilted your head.

“We’ll have a lockdown from next week. We have to stay at home. The pandemic is getting out of control.” Pedro put his cup on the coffee table.

“Oh..I should get the groceries then. Stock up. I think you should too. Your fridge has nothing.” You chuckled.

He chuckled and froze for a while. His face was so focused. It seemed like he was thinking about something serious. 

“I was thinking..” He gulped.

“Maybe we could quarantine here together. What do you think?” Pedro looked at you.

“Here? You sure?” You raised your eyebrows.

You and Pedro had been dating for a few months and he hadn’t asked you to move in. But you always came to his place everyday to spend time together, watch movies, eat dinner, and sometimes crash for a few nights.

“I’m sure, hun.” Pedro chuckled.

“Yay!” You jumped and hugged him.

He groaned at your weight and wrapped his arms around you.

“So should I start moving my stuff today?” You pulled back your head to look at him.

Pedro nodded then he drove you back to your apartment and helped you pack your stuff. You packed your essentials and brought 2 big suitcases. Before you left your apartment for God knows how long, you made sure you had turned off all of the lights and unplugged any sockets.

“Done.” You dragged your suitcases near the door.

Pedro lent his hand to drag both of your suitcases. 

“Take this one. This one’s heavy.” You dragged the heavy one closer to you.

“Nuh-uh. I’ll take that one.” Pedro took the bigger suitcase off from your hands.

You chuckled and shook your head. Pedro was always a gentleman and he treated you like a princess. You loved it but sometimes you felt bad.

“Let’s stop by the grocery store before we go to your place.” You suggested Pedro to buy some groceries and stock up.

“Okay.” Pedro nodded and started the car.

You and Pedro bought everything you needed and of course some vegetables, fruits, cereals, milk, and instant food that you could keep for a few more weeks. You went home to Pedro’s house with a lot of paper bags. You and Pedro had to make a few turns to the car to move the groceries. 

“Finally! Last one!” Pedro put the last paper bag on the kitchen table.

“Phew! That’s a lot of work.” You wiped your sweat from your forehead. 

“Why don’t we take a break, hun?” Pedro massaged your shoulder.

“But we still need to organize them..” You were an organized person so you couldn’t stand seeing messy things.

“Come on, just 5 minutes.” Pedro pushed you gently and sat you to the couch.

You sighed as you sat. You suddenly felt all your muscles ache from packing your stuff earlier today and all the groceries stuff. 

“Come here.” Pedro moved closer to you and turned you so your back faced him.

Then he gently massaged your shoulder then your back. He knew you loved back massage so he often gave you massage. 

“That feels good.” You closed your eyes and hummed.

He chuckled and kept massaging every inch of your back. Then he kissed your shoulder as a sign that he finished massaging your back. You turned your head to him and smiled.

“Thank you, P.” You placed a kiss on his lips.

“Your turn.” You asked him to turn so you could massage him.

“Not now. Why don’t you do it for me before we go to bed?” He smirked.

“Yes sir.” You smirked back at him.

You and Pedro spent the day organizing the groceries and your stuff. Then you watched a movie in the living room together, cuddled on the couch, and ordered pizza. After the movie ended, the two of you went to bed. You didn’t forget to give him the back massage you owed him. 

“Good night, hun.” Pedro kissed your head that was resting on his chest.

“Good night, P.” You rubbed his chest.

His warmth gave you comfort and security that made you sleep so well. You hated the pandemic but on the other side you were glad because it was the reason he finally asked you to move in. Now you wouldn’t have to be worried about having sleepless nights and dealing with nightmares all alone. You had him. You had Pedro there next to you to comfort you when you needed it.

You yawned as the sunlight woke you up. You squealed as you stretched your body then you looked next to you. Pedro was already awake. He was sitting with a pillow behind his back, iPad in his hands. He was reading a script for his next project. You loved watching him in work mode. Pedro was a hard worker and you loved a hardworking man.

“Morning.” Pedro saw you had woken up.

“Morning.” You chuckled and rubbed your eyes.

“How was your sleep?” Pedro put away his iPad to the bedside table.

“Best sleep I’ve ever had this month.” You chuckled and snuggled to put your arms around his waist.

“How was your sleep?” You asked him back.

“I slept so well. Thanks to the massage you gave me last night.” Pedro chuckled and stroked your head. 

*TOOT*

Pedro farted. Yes, he farted right when your head was so close to his butt. Then he quickly pulled the sheets and buried you under the sheets. He laughed out loud while you struggled to save yourself from Pedro’s fart bomb. 

“P!” You screamed for your life.

Pedro kept fighting you so you couldn’t get out from the sheets. He kept laughing while you were actually dying. He finally let you out after a few minutes. 

“What was that?!” You panted, gasping for clean air.

“That..is..my love for you.” Pedro giggled and kissed you.

“You definitely have to poop right now! I mean it! It smells so bad!” You hit his chest.

“Okay. Okay.” Pedro chuckled and went to the bathroom.

You groaned as you got out of the bed and opened the window for ventilation. His fart smell was still stuck in your nose and you needed fresh air. While you waited for him doing his business, you went to the kitchen to make breakfast. You toasted some bread, fried some eggs and bacon. 

“Hmm, smells so good, honey.” Pedro suddenly hugged you from behind. 

You chuckled as he swayed you for a moment before he sat. 

“Thank you.” He thanked you for making breakfast for him. 

“You’re welcome.” You smiled and took a bite of your toast.

“What do you want to do today?” Pedro asked you what you had planned for the day.

“I was thinking of reading a book and just chill.” You shrugged.

“That’s a good idea.” Pedro nodded.

“How about you?” You asked him back.

“I have to practice my lines. And I need your help.” He mumbled while munching on the bacon.

“Of course, I’ll help you with that.” You smirked.

After the two of you finished breakfast, Pedro offered to wash the dishes. You took a shower and went to the pool to read under the sun. You read a few pages and dozed off. 

*SPLASH*

You screamed as you fell inside the pool. You tried to find your balance and stood up in the pool. The water was high up to your chest. You heard Pedro laugh while you panted and wiped your face. 

“I HATE YOU!” You yelled at him.

Pedro bursted into laughter. He loved pulling pranks on you because he enjoyed watching your reactions. You knew he was always a prankster and sometimes you pulled a prank on him but his pranks were worse. You could never win from his pranks. It hadn’t been one day yet and he already pranked you twice. You needed to prank him back. 

“Think, think, think.” You kept telling yourself inside your mind.

You decided to act pissed and gave him the silent treatment. He lent you his hand to help you out from the pool but you ignored him. You chose to walk on the stairs and got out yourself. Pedro got you a towel but you pushed him away. You just stayed silent and walked inside the house to get yourself a towel. He started getting worried. He believed your acts. He thought you were really mad at him. 

“Honey, I’m sorry.” Pedro followed you from behind.

You didn’t answer him, not even looked at him. You went to the bathroom and dried yourself while Pedro leaned on the bathroom door and waited for you. His eyes looked sad and he tried talking to you a few times but you kept quiet. You acted like he wasn’t there. 

“I promise I’m not gonna do that again, darling. I’m sorry.” He took your hand. 

You wanted to laugh seeing him following you like a toddler. Especially because you were not mad at him. He pulled you but you walked away, your back facing him holding your laugh. You took a deep breath so you wouldn’t burst into laughter. Then you got into character again and went back to the pool. You hoped he was still following you because you wanted to pay him back. Yes, you were planning to push him to the pool just like he did to you. 

“Is there anything you want? Let me make it up to you, honey. I’ll do anything you want. Just talk to me.” Pedro followed you to the pool.  

“Hit me, honey. If that makes you feel better.” He took your hand and moved it to hit his chest. 

Finally, this was it. It was the right time. You gathered your courage and pushed him with force. 

“Pay back time!” You shouted and pushed him.

*SPLASH*

Pedro fell into the pool. Your plan worked. You were finally able to laugh. Pedro wiped his face and slicked his hair back. 

“You’re not mad at me?” He stood there inside the pool.

“Of course not. I was just trying to get back at you! You naughty!” You stuck your tongue at him.

Pedro laughed. He was relieved that you weren’t mad at him. It was better that you pranked him back rather than you being angry at him. 

“I guess we’re even now?” Pedro shrugged.

“Not yet, mister. One more and then we’re even. So you need to be careful.” You raised your eyebrows and put your hands on your hips.

“Yes, maam.” Pedro slowly walks near the edge of the pool. 

“Help me up?” He extended his hand asking you to help him out of the pool.

You knew this was also one of his ways to pull pranks on you. You were certain he was going to pull you inside the pool with him. But you were okay with that because at least you had pranked him once today. So you put our hand on his. He smirked and pulled you. Just as you had expected, you were now inside the pool with him. 

“I knew you were going to do that.” You wiped your face as you giggled.

“Uh-huh?” He nodded and put his arms around you. 

Pedro pulled you closer and kissed your lips. 

“Salty.” You frowned. 

“Now that..was.. a mix of the pool water aaand..my pee.” Pedro giggled at your face.

He claimed to have peed inside the pool. You gagged and wiped your mouth while Pedro just laughed looking at you. He loved you so much that you were his source of his happiness. He adored you so much and your reactions when he pranked you entertained him. 

“You’re so cute, honey. I’m dying.” He gave you a deep kiss.

“I’m dying too because you pulled too many pranks on me.” You chuckled.

“You should know that is my love language.” Pedro cupped your cheeks.

“I know.” You rolled your eyes.

“I love you so much it hurts.” Pedro gazed through your eyes. His eyes were full of love.

“I love you so much too, P.” You smiled and kissed him.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Back in early 2020, the news of the strange illness causing terrible pneumonias in China saddened me, but I believed I was safe in Canada. Within weeks, there was a reckoning: thousands were dying on my doorstep, too.

Directors of an independent living residence at the start of the pandemic asked me to become the residence’s COVID-19 advisor. They had no qualified medical staff, despite supporting elderly residents. Back in those early days, anyone with a medical qualification was commandeered to help in any way they could.

Confronted with the task of providing guidance to the nonmedical staff taking care of these residents, I decided to learn everything I could about the pandemic. At that time, about 1,000 papers were being published every month detailing research into every aspect of the coronavirus. Of course, I couldn’t read all of them, but I read as many as I could and built a breadth and depth of evidenced-based knowledge about SARS-CoV-2 and COVID-19. I wrote up the protocols and during my tenure as COVID-19 Advisor for this residence, we kept COVID out.

As a family physician seeing COVID-19 in my practice, I came to recognize that so many of my colleagues and patients had no idea how to keep themselves safe from the coronavirus, nor were they aware of its long-term risks. I saw the need to take action and effect change, which ultimately led me to becoming an advocate for Long COVID awareness.

I started the medical education company Kojala Medical, aiming to provide evidenced-based information about medical issues in a form patients could understand and reliably trust. I wanted a credible, trustworthy site to which I could refer my patients, colleagues, friends and family. We started with a focus on COVID-19 and have now expanded to Long COVID, with the site longcovidtheanswers.com.

I first learned about Long COVID in 2020 through publicity raised by the Body Politic COVID-19 support group, then became more alarmed as I read scientific articles about the disease.

Aside from the official death toll of over 7 million from COVID-19, Long COVID has emerged from the pandemic as the single biggest disaster to afflict humanity, yet very few people who are not sick with Long COVID are aware of it, want to know about it, believe in it, or even acknowledge that it’s happening. Sadly, many in the medical profession fall within that group of non and disbelievers.

This is bizarre, especially because of the impact of the disease. One recent review estimates more than 400 million global cases of Long COVID. I am furious that not enough is being done to alleviate this suffering. The injustice of yet another neglected and marginalized chronic illness that disproportionately affects women.

So, rather than sitting around waiting for ‘someone’ or ‘body’ to do something, I decided to act.

For me, medicine is fundamentally about aiding people to get as well as possible from any sickness they have — and even more importantly, preventing people from getting sick in the first place. In both of these regards, we are failing people with Long COVID dismally.

Long COVID is not the flu, it is a multisystem debilitating infection associated chronic condition. Developing Long COVID can be disabling and life-changing. Recovery remains low — and some manifestations like heart disease, dysautonomia, and myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME) may last a lifetime.

This is a terrifying situation to be in when, as a global community, we have chosen to act as though the pandemic is over and repeatedly expose ourselves to SARS-CoV-2, a grade 3 biohazard, with little to no protection.

As I read more and more research papers about Long COVID and looked at the inaction of global governments and my own profession, I feared that we were sleepwalking into a global mass disabling event unnecessarily, since we have many technologies available to prevent this.

Infection-associated chronic conditions do not have an established medical speciality, and are rarely taught in medical school. With the medical profession disengaged, people with Long COVID have been left to find answers for themselves.

My work aims to build on support groups, which have helped establish caring communities for people with Long COVID, but have also paved the way for us as scientists and medics to change the way we conduct research in a more patient-focused way. Nevertheless, they don’t entirely fulfill the need for evidence-based information about the disease in a readable format for nonmedical individuals.

I saw a huge need for a comprehensive website that would be of use to all people with Long COVID, their caregivers, the scientists researching the disease, and the multidisciplinary team of healthcare professionals that would be needed to rehabilitate them. Our organization believes that Long COVID The Answers meets those requirements.

There is also a pressing need to train medical professionals so that they will acknowledge Long COVID and feel confident about diagnosing and managing it. Inspired by an interview with Dr. Ric Arsenaeau, an expert in managing complex chronic diseases, my team and I created a podcast series: so that medical providers can receive continuing professional development/educational credits from watching this series.

The podcast series features a range of experts, including people with Long COVID, doctors, scientists, educators, and medical clinicians. Some of these experts also serve on our advisory board, overlooking and participating in the project.

Our site aims to raise awareness about the dangers of continuously exposing ourselves to a perilous virus with no thought of what it will cost us and our children.

This will mobilize the people of the world to demand that their leaders properly provide safe spaces for us all to prevent us from ever getting infected in the first place.

We need to mandate our governments to access all the mitigating technologies that we have in our roster, not only vaccination. The best way of managing Long COVID is to prevent people getting infected with SARS-CoV-2 in the first place!

We need national and international indoor clean air acts – to protect us from emerging pathogens.

For people with Long COVID, awareness will bring an educated and mobilized medical profession, governmental resources, financial and sociological support, and money for research — to facilitate treatments and, hopefully, a cure.

These are the main reasons why I jump out of bed in the morning with gusto, focus, and determination, and why I’ve poured all my money and my time into educating people about Long COVID.

Dr. Funmi Okunola is a British Family Physician who lives and works in Vancouver, Canada. She is the President and CEO of Kojala Medical, a digital medical education company behind COVID-19 The Answers and Long COVID The Answers.