#my lesbianism for her is endless
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was scanning the funger subreddit for smth (a fools errand, truly) and yknow ngl I'm kinda tired of people looking at character designs that aren't conventionally attractive and calling them ugly
Samarie is pretty in the way that a tree stretching away from a powerline is. That an orange that has thicker flesh is. She may never be on the cover of vogue but god damn if she wouldn't make me stop and look twice in a grocery store to admire her. She's natures imperfections and I wouldn't have her any other way ngl. She's pretty don't try to change my mind u can't
#chattisherry#fear and hunger termina#“oh you look at too much fanart” no bitch her sprite is cute too idgaf#“she literally stalks u if u play as marina” god forbid a girl have hobbies#I like her long face and flat brow ridge I think it makes her super cute#her thin face and large ears are charming i don't care fight me#my lesbianism for her is endless#the way I started to become good at termina just because I wanted to save her lmao
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#netflix the sandman#death of the endless#my glorious king#i lobe her#mwah mwah#my art#artists on tumblr#lesbian kissing#girls kissing girls#my love#the sandman#and stuff#yeah
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drewposting. part two!!!!!!! (ft. Diana Cavendish)
#skye’s-endless-imaganitories.txt#my art#Hey!!!!! I’ve returned with more Andoryu <33#I’m sorry that my last post was like… last month. My education calls for me………….#But! I’m here now! :)#Andrew is so funny… he’s just… some guy! A dude!#So Idk if you guys have looked at Andrew’s gallery page on the LWA wiki but!#Andy canonically has about 5 dogs!! (One mama(?) and four babies)#Ough he loves them. So much……… In my head he’d give them all like a bajillion little kisses and hold them so close…………#My sister said that he looks like he’s about to cry—#Completely unintentional but I kept it because. Idk her description kinda made it more beautiful??#Anyways. I love Andoryu I love Diana they are like my favorite (ex-)worsties ever!!!! Idk I saw the image on Pinterest and thought of them#Autistic piano enthusiast vs Lesbian magic enthusiast. The ultimate duo!!!!!#little witch academia#lwa#lwa fanart#andrew hanbridge#diana cavendish#Little witch academia fanart#Please don’t tag as the thing that floats on water and has a sail!!! Idk if there even is such a thing but just in case 😓
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sandman fandom how are we feeling about the season two casting call??
#i’m so hyped to see del and destruction on my screen#like omg….#but also i’m apprehensive if wanda’s new role means we see less of her?#also since she dies in agoy i’m not sure how this works#i mean originally ruby dies in brief lives too#so will we still get the iconic barbie @ her grace scene?#i really hope so#i hope agoy isn’t too rushed too 😭😭#not to be a classic lesbian but i love that run#the sandman#the sandman comics#dream of the endless#delirium of the endless#destiny of the endless#netflix the sandman#wanda mann#sandman#sandman comics
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The amount of people being vocal about their violently homophobic "opinions" has increased exponentially, after the election of this extreme right-wing and homophobic government. I feel like a few years ago a lot of people were homophobic anyway, but now they are being validated by our politicians and ofc things have gotten worse.
#and we wanna talk about fascism? Don't even get me started on that#with a tree minutes research on google you can find pictures of our prime minister at a reunion of a fascist organization#idk people are apparently fine with that#even my mother and she's a feminist and has extremely progressist opinions doesn't seem to be worried#oh both her and my father voted for them ofc 💀#and my father is also homophobic he says he is not but clearly he is#my mother is too but only towards certain kinds of queer people#idk it was extremely hard to write all this while drunk hehe the mistakes are prob endless#but anyway#lesbian#dykeposting#sappho would be proud of me#tw homophobia#tw fascism#viva l'italia antifascista
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i hate labelling and i dont believe in astrology but combine the two. im an aro sun lesbian moon ace rising yeah sure that works
#the endless struggle of labelling myself and saying no i shant and then coming back to it again#yes i could call myself an aroace lesbian no i wont do that cant tell you why. peace on earth and god be with ye#that post about sexuality being dialectical and not metaphysical... shes so right and i need to accept her in my heart. but the Temptation
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The creepy thing about instagram and God is that I would think of an idea, just inside my mind, and then later I would see a reel telling me why it's a bad idea.
#the bad idea is deciding to go back to the dating scene before entering the convent#to see if this path is really for me and if I fall inlove a little then I would call my decision off#and then suddenly#this reel is showing me dystopian reality of dating apps#then another reel about filling your endless void of grief with an ingenuine interaction with another being#and another reel about finding real happiness by spiritual journeys and simple joys in life#and another reel about the scams of marriage#and that lesbians my age are messy in relationship arena#and so I went out of my phone to see the news only to remind me of cemeteries#that I should be visiting my dead girlfriend soon who has only been 9 months dead#as I bury her memory as I forget about her#because I could not afford to cry in the middle of the day#and the only place that allowed me to mourn freely everyday was the convent#in a month of staying there I was healing and I am knowing myself and god#and I am getting visions etc lol anyway#I was reminded that I will destroy my soul if I decide to date again to forget#and I thank God for being clear with me#because God knows I'm dumb so the message gotta be clear#I miss you my love#bakit ako bakit ikaw bakit tayo
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the monday blues are getting me especially hard after a four day weekend of being curled up in bed and playing pretend with my wife 😔😔
daydreaming about the lesbians in our heads SAVE ME
#*dykeposting#ttrpg ramble incoming in these tags oops#we uh. may have accidentally added another dyke to talia's polycule lmao#originally she was SUPER monogamous but then she accidentally had chemistry w another butch that she's not actually w anymore#and then on the last replay we gave her an ex that OBVIOUSLY she got back together with. bc ofc.#and now on the last replay she had so much chemistry w her ex's ex so now we are replaying again and trying it out lmao#we just do this endless cycle of replaying the same game over and over to test out Different Scenarios#it's honestly really fun? it's like fanfiction but we get to make out#anyway. i love talia my pretty pink muscle princess being surrounded by all of these working class butches w rough hands who will do +#+ woodworking and construction projects w her. it's amazing#gideon (the ex) and wyatt (the ex's ex) are union girls. Hot.#i think castor is probably also in a union bc she's into construction also but wyatt and gideon are both going to go into union organizing#which is just. delicious#collective bargaining is so sexy#wyatt also might be a werewolf. bc i'm predictable#the were-folks in my wife's setting have chronic pain bc of the shifting that gets worse around full moons (esp in winter)#and talia and wyatt had this cute scene were talia found her on a hike after the full moon and rubbed her hips for her +#+ while they had a deep convo about their childhood traumas and then made out. peak lesbian behavior
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ever time i use Thorns i'm forced to remember that he is, in fact, a guy
#arknights#i thought he was a lesbian!! i thought that he and elysium were lesbians#but then i played endless carnival and oh.. nope elysium is a guy#so it's a lesbian and her overly excitable twink friend#that was when i finally got around to promoting thorns to e2 and happened to have my headphones in for once and heard his voice#i was so confused i really thought he was a woman#i got ansel right from the start but i got thorns wrong???
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Mine is... complicated.
I consider myself bisexual and genderfluid or some other form of NB at this point, and my pronouns are inconsistent, changing depending on which social circle I'm in at the moment (and, in turn, how much they know of me IRL/how likely my genderfuckery is to get back to more conservative family members). My main OC at one point, the one who was basically my idealized fictional self, I'd have called same & same. But I've kind of drifted away from that one.
It's not just gender, there. I've done characters of basically every combination of sex/gender/orientation, including a couple of Pathfinder characters who were explicitly trans male (half-elf Sorcerer) and trans female (half-elf Cleric), and I can fully visualize myself being any of them. That older OC, though... Let's just say I really wanted to be the main character of an anime back then.
hey i'm just curious about something!! i notice a lot of sonas/avatars/main ocs will share a lot with their owner, but i wonder how many differ in terms of identity?
feel free to add in tags if you'd like to talk about yourself and your sona!
also reblogs appreciated to reach a wider audience <3 i'm very curious !!
#as for main avatars/OCs now there are two I relate to the most#Valena is a cis femme polyamorous lesbian#she started as a#pathfinder#enchantress#who sought power because she was a changeling and feared what would happen when her mother came to collect her#pathfinder changelings are daughters of hags who get left on the doorsteps of unsuspecting common folk like in faerie tales btw#not shapeshifters like in D&D#but she was remade into my#final fantasy xiv#character#where she's a refugee who sought magical power as a weapon against the strictly nonmagical empire that conquered her home#the other character hasn't been named yet because#naming characters#is the hardest part#but she's an#anthro goat#both being developed as part of an#RPG setting#I'm working on and intended as a#fursona#she is intersex but neither of her sex organs function correctly and becoming truly dual-sexed is one of her main goals#she will still identify as female even after she gets a fully functional dick#currently she's basically a ranger#living alone in the mountains#and hunting magic-warped monsters that crawl out of the endless twisting caverns under their world sometimes#I had some more characters I wanted to talk about but apparently there are limits to the tags#:(
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I desire romantically doing makeup with somebody
#thoughts#oni talks#Oni yearns#like the intimacy of holding their face to readjust and getting close and also the closeness of like making each other over#but also like the mutual service aspect of doing a fun thing for each other where you just take care of each other and also like the pride#like look at my partner and how beautiful they are and also look at how pretty I am that was her work!!#and also like the shared creativity of it like there’s fucking endless options yall can make each other look like anything!#also maybe it’s in part the struggle for me coz I can’t fucking see doing my makeup coz glasses and like the vulnerability of that trust!#In knowing no matter what they do it will be beautiful and also back to the creativity thing#imagine the fucking prompts! like making each other over based on the colors you associate with them or the things they love about you#and sharing that together and like seeing yourself reflected as they see themselves reflected and just!! seeing yourself through their eyes#and also the reverse in the intimacy of showing your partner all the stuff you love and notice about them#and it’s also so like versatile y’all can have stuff on the background yall can just do this as the lead up to like most dates#also the intimacy of taking each others makeup off at the end of the day too! and the looking forward to the next day and like#also the concept of learning the stuff your partner enjoys and being able to look forward to doing that for them!!#also I’m just a sucker for like couple aesthetics! and also maybe I watched too many lesbians couple channels but idk I always wanted to do#those like cute lil challenges that people do with their partner it just seems so fun#also if anyone remembers those images back in the day of like the one where the girl was just on top of the other one doing her makeup or#the one with the girl in her lap! and also I’m a sucker for like photography and just being able to save those moments and highlight them#also you don’t have to just do like face or anything like that date idea a while back where ppl would paint a picture on their partner!!#I’m also a sucker for art prompts and like the concept of the mutual muse where you inspire each other and create together and just aahhh#also you can like sneak kisses and hand holding and stuff during! or have like a comfort show in the back#like there’s OPTIONS! and it just feels so cute! I don’t see makeup ones as much but I have seen like doing your gfs hair and that’s also#just so top tier to me idk. I love designing shit and mutual designing just feels like it would be so much fun#like those craft dates I love but this is like more physical#date ideas#coz like you could just make a whole show of it like you could have a theme night where you watch shows related and just have fun together#idk man I’ve just been in hardcore sapphic yearning mode recently idk why 😭🫠
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Live laugh love Kumonoue & Yuichiro’s straining relationship 💕
#skye’s-endless-imaganitories.txt#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#kimetsu gakuen#kimetsu academy#gotouge#demon slayer fanart#<—- i mean. I guess????????#I’ve already posted this on yt but i thought it would be nice to share it on tumblr with all of you!!#This interaction is hereby non-canon as Kumonoue is really 2 shy to actually do something like this#And the poor girl would really take two centuries to eat her food because omg. That girl is NOT normal ‼️‼️#I feel like Yuichiro would be the only one in her friendgroup(?) to actually notice the….. unhealthy. abnormal things she does sometimes#And blud would NOT be afraid to call her out on it!!#Like. They’ll be sitting down on the lunch table together and Yui turns to her with a sort of disgruntled yet concerned look on his face#And he’ll be like. ��…I wish you stopped getting distracted and actually ate your food properly. Don’t you know that’s an unhealthy habit?”#And Kumonoue would look at Yui with a confused look on her face and go#“Is it?” While Yuichiro looks at her in disbelief + disappointment.#The neurodivergent lifestyle is just too confusing for a simpleton like Yui /j#The video might be a little fuzzy…….#If it is i apologize 4 that 💔#But i hope you all enjoy regardless!!#happy saturday everyone!!#Or maybe sunday if you’re not in my area!!#And happy lesbian visibility week!! I see you gay girlies!!! 💕💕
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guilty as sin? | abby anderson
“these fatal fantasies giving way to labored breath, taking all of me, we’ve already done it in my head”
warnings: masturbation, slight masochism, ruined orgasm, angst, perv!abby (a little), internalized homophobia (discussed in more detail below)
notes: no surprise my favourite ttpd song is the gayest one on the album, but guilty as sin? screams lesbian guilt i fear!!!! i’ve been writing this for over a month so i hope u guys like it 😭
cw: discussion of lesbian guilt & comphet - these are somewhat based on my own experiences with my sexuality and i absolutely!!! do not think a man can ‘cure’ a lesbian or anything similar to that. nor do i believe anyone should ever feel guilty for being gay. realising i’m a lesbian has been extremely freeing & dykes r the best x
wc: 1.8k
likes, comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated :)
the door slammed harshly behind abby as she stormed into her room. she pulled her jacket off desperately; her skin hot under its tight vice. she’d been in the gym, trying to work out her endless frustration of late, when you’d walked in.
you’d only said “hi" and smiled politely at her before setting your things down. but she felt her stomach churn, a black hole opening inside her. abby stood up, pulling the weights off the barbell and onto their rack. she grunted softly, glancing at you from the corner of her eye.
you’d started stretching, currently bent over as you touched your toes. her eyes drifted for an infinitesimal moment, locking onto the swell of your-. she looked away - wrongwrongwrong.
but then she looked back, her stare feasting on your body. she wondered whether you were doing this on purpose, trying to tempt her from across the room. she wondered if you knew her dirty little secret, abby picturing a smirk on your face as you mocked her for such indecent thoughts.
she didn’t want to feel this way. she didn’t want to feel the poison ivy swarming around her chest, getting tighter, tighter. the rash spread inside her; this invisible whip of lust lashing against her skin whenever your face appeared in her mind. well, had it been just your face maybe she wouldn’t feel like some depraved sinner.
now it wasn’t like abby believed in god, in a world where death and destruction infect every crevice you’d have to be mad to believe that any ‘god’ wanted its followers to suffer so greatly. but something inside her screamed every time she had these thoughts. these impure, twisted thoughts about you.
she didn’t know what made her feel like this. what made her resent you for simply existing; and what made her resent herself.
she recalled her teenage years, when manny had subtly suggested that owen liked her - so she was supposed to like him back, right? and she tried! she loved him even - but there was always that something, that feeling in her gut that told her that something was wrong, something about him that just would never sit right with her.
but all the other girls wanted a boyfriend too, and the jealousy was nice at first - she’d thought. after all, mel was the star student, a doctor in the making, her dad’s favourite; and nora was this freshly trained medical officer, and abby was- abby was just abby.
her dad began noticing her more too - previously too preoccupied with his firefly duties and his favourite student. now his little girl was slipping away from him, he finally began paying her the amount of attention she’d craved for so long.
before, their conversations had often drifted into talk of mel and her new achievements, or his hopes of a vaccine, or some animal he was tracking. never anything about his daughter’s life.
having a boyfriend made her interesting, it gave the other girls something to envy. which was a nice reversal, for a while. then her dad died, and she had become this object of pity. owen helped a bit, she supposed. he tried to distract her and keep her focused on their new role as soldiers, but she barely cared about him anymore. all she wanted was revenge, and with revenge, came you.
you were one of the gyms trainers, passionate about helping the members of the wlf stay fit and healthy! you’d helped her start lifting weights, squealed as she reached every milestone, and had remarked jokingly about just how much you loved her new physique.
it was innocent at first, the most being her brain going a little fuzzy when you’d bit your lip while spotting her; a slight blush when you’d hugged her a little too tight. then, once she and owen were finally broken up, these new pictures began hanging themselves on the walls of her mind. still, innocent, just slightly tainted with desire - the true nature of them still an avoidable matter for her back then.
when she could ignore the truth in her recent behaviour, abby loved spending time with you. after all, you were just really good friends! anyway, she’d had a boyfriend before so everyone knew she was normal, and absolutely not different, and she would never ever have to feel like an outsider.
yet it took a mere three months before she gave up on this foolish lie. she liked you, and as long as nobody ever found out, it wouldn’t matter.
but as her mind grew dark and twisted - joel a constant topic in her head as she obsessed over finally getting to enact revenge - her thoughts got worse in turn. she wanted you - filthily and desperately.
every gym session ended with another cold shower, a desperate plea for her body to stop and let her focus on the task at hand; a hopeless attempt to bury this ache into the ground; an endless endeavour to escape these urges for just one second.
but then she came back changed, every hair on her body endlessly erected with guilt. the way she’d killed him so mercilessly, the way it had done nothing to ease the pain, and the way you had tormented her mind ceaselessly throughout the entire trip.
maybe, had she never met you, she could’ve just killed him and been satisfied. maybe had you never offered to train her personally, she could’ve just stayed comfortable in that stuffy closet. maybe if she found the right man she’d stop feeling this way.
abby deemed such ideas unfathomable now.
owen made her feel nothing. being with him was like an eternal thursday, an endless wait for the week’s end and its pleasure to turn up at her door. every day she’d wait for some spark to arrive, the routine only becoming more and more tedious by the minute. but he helped her get people’s attention, which was enough when she was just abby.
but then she was abby anderson, top scar killer and isaac’s favourite. she got attention on her own, she was praised for her own accomplishments: people worshipped the fucking ground she walked on. but they didn’t know who she really was.
they didn’t know she liked girls the way she was supposed to like boys. she’d seen it in enough of those wlf movie nights - cruel jokes about anyone who even thought about being different. she’d heard the way people gossiped, “did you hear that they’re moving lesbians into the family unit? what a joke.”
they said it like it was something dirty, something egregious, something that she had to hate about herself. so she did.
but as long as she kept it secret, kept it locked away in her mind, maybe she’d be okay. after all, only your actions talk: it was the age old question really, if a tree falls in a forest and no one else hears it, does it make a sound?
abby fell back against her bed sheets, calloused hands pushing her cargos down to her ankles as she replayed the sight of you in her mind. bent over - she felt like you were trying to tempt her on purpose.
she felt like a heathen; staring, fantasizing, worshipping. her mind was bursting with the idea of every possible position she could put you in; head a chorus of every little noise she wanted to hear you make; eyes screwed shut as depravity filled her every sense.
she shoved her bralette up her chest roughly, fingertips dragging over her nipples with little mercy. she pinched them, the peach skin stinging underneath her touch.
she wanted it to hurt; wanted it to feel like some sort of punishment for her thoughts. but as her hips bucked into the air, a long whine dragging from her clenched jaw, she realised it needed to hurt more.
she imagined you, finding her like this. disgust burnt into your features - what the fuck was she doing? repeating your name like some subverted prayer, fingers harshly scratching along her stomach as she tried to make the pleasure feel more like pain, trying to induce some connection between the two.
if it hurt enough, would she stop? force herself to forget? could she torture this part of herself until it surrendered?
her hand slipped over the top of her boxers, a finger running tentatively over her clit through the now darkened fabric. she bit down on her lip, groaning against it as she pushed down harder and harder, attempting to break through the skin.
another finger pressed down, beginning to draw circles down on the throbbing bud. she jolted against her own touch, your head between her legs burning into her mind. your hands, trailing along her flesh - groping at her with little tenderness; tongue, swiping at her pussy with no intent of fulfillment: she wanted you to make her weep, smoke out her lungs with shame, deny her from gratification until all she could feel was regret.
she pulled away, only to cover her fingertips with her spit - diving under her boxers to continue with her corruption. abby let out a strangled sigh, hips grinding against her fingers as they toyed with her clit.
she moved a hand to her hair, knuckles stretching against her scalp as she began to pull her braid. she grunted, yanking even harder. she whispered your name: pained, hopeless.
she sped up her assault against her pussy, feeling that pit in the bottom of her stomach begin to grow. “pleasepleaseplease” her voice cracked as she begged, unsure what she was pleading for.
she wanted to stop, but she needed to try and make this feeling go away. she knew it would come back, it always did - but even five minutes free from your torment on her mind might save her.
her fingers kept going, drawing desperate circles against her weeping pussy relentlessly. the void was growing, almost consuming her entirely at this point. she thought of you laughing at her current state: a crying mess, pussy wet with perversion.
it was sick, really - how the idea of you hating her for this made her need even worse. you’d probably think it appalling: someone who was supposed to be your friend, now sat here burning at the thought of you.
a part of her wished that you shared this sickness. that you too let yourself be overwhelmed by the thought of sin. maybe you didn’t let the guilt swallow you whole - she hoped so.
but there was no point lingering in the what-ifs, they were far too fleeting.
her deft fingers quickened their pace, the ache all consuming. the climb began - a desperate jump towards oblivion. closer, closer. the flames scorched her bedsheets as her breathing hastened.
fuck, she hissed before reaching the apex with a scream of your name. a scream? a whisper? a thought? it didn’t make her actions any less deplorable.
her conscience grabbed pleasure by the throat as she ripped her fingers away, putting out the blaze on her hips like a cigarette crushed on the ground.
the desire imploded within the walls of her torso; scratching against her insides in the vengeance of her denial.
it was wrong; she had to stop it. yet still, the guilt poured into her lungs with no chance of resolve. she was a fool for thinking it would fix her. maybe next time it would work. maybe next time the exorcism would finally purify her.
until next time.
#abby anderson#tlou#the last of us#abby anderson x reader#abby anderson smut#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#the last of us 2#ellie tlou#ellie williams smut#abby anderson angst#abby anderson is a lesbian#abby anderson x fem reader#abby anderson fics#abby anderson fic
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going back to my roots (death of the endless layout)
#i’ve missed her#death and del are constantly battling for position of my fav endless#and death has won this round#her cool goth hair and lesbian swag has seduced me#the sandman#death of the endless
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super graphic ultra-modern girl like me!
pairing: haley x reader
wc: 2k
tags: mature (NOT explicit) , closeted lesbian haley , both of you are drunk , making out
synopsis: where sharing lipstick with your best friend haley makes you feel… things.
a/n: reader: oh ho ho, i sure hope kissing my bff doesnt awaken anything in me! (it did)
i wrote this listening to super graphic ultra modern girl by chappel roan! haley fits so many of her songs its insane
your head is aching, spinning like you were sent to another dimension that consists of disco flashing lights and the nauseating smell of spilt vodka—all thanks to the sheer amount of alcohol you consumed in the past 5 hours. it’s pushing 3 AM—the strappy 4 inch heels are chafing your feet, the skimpy skirt clinging to your hips ride up in a way that would scandalize the small village mothers, and body glitter covering every inch of your skin.
you feel light, weightless as you flutter and float through the rhythmic bass engulfing the club. you nod your head to the beat of the music, swaying your hips that loosen with every sip of the sweet alcoholic drink in your hand.
you’re bouncing up and down to party rock anthem when your phone buzzes. fishing it out of your pocket, you squint your eyes to make out the notification. you bow your head, trying to make out the message over the flashing lights.
an amused laugh bubbles out of you. haley.
—> go 2 thr bathroon rn
—> hurry or else
you turn and wobble out of the middle of the dance floor, swaying to the beat while maneuvering the sea of sweaty bodies. the bathroom is in an isolated corner by the entrance of the club. you push the door open, stumbling slightly when it takes a little less effort than you expect.
you enter the club bathroom, shutting the ornate door behind you. it slams with a resounding slam, dampening the loud candy pop songs blaring through the party outside.
your heels click against cool marble as you saunter to the long, seemingly endless, stretch of mirrors and faucets. twisting the knob, a rush of tap water flows freely; it contrasts satisfyingly with the heated skin of your hands. you wet your fingers, dabbing your cheeks and neck with cool water. you sigh, shivering with the instant relief it brings.
as you cool yourself off, you think—you do wonder what haley’s predicament is, she texted you with much urgency.
perhaps she fell into the toilet—or maybe she’s drunk herself to the point of spewing her guts out in one of these very cubicles. the latter though makes you giggle. a notification buzzes from your phone, as if the sound of your laughter summoned it.
—> idiot
—> i can hear u laughing from here
you snort.
suddenly, without warning, you feel a warm hand pull you into a stall. it’s a sudden jerking motion, and you almost lose your balance to fall flat on your face. a gasp rips out of you as you clutch on to the very warm, very soft thing that keeps you from falling and twisting your ankle. before you even register the situation, you’re being dragged in to sit on the closed lid of the toilet.
you’re frazzled, knocked off balance by a rude and very disrespectful stranger who obviously has no morals. you feel your blood boil, ruthless insults ready at the tip of your tongue—
—then you look up, and that feeling dissipates. instead, a cheshire grin splits your face, “haley.”
she’s the living breathing stereotype of a wild party girl like this; blonde hair in waves down her back that smells sweetly of strawberries, nails buffed and painted a pretty baby blue, and make-up done up to the absolute nines. her sequin skirt sparkles and winks as she shifts. pretty, you’ll ask if you could borrow it next time—
manicured fingers snap and you’re pushed out of your own thoughts. haley crosses her arms, standing in between your thighs, looking down at you with a displeased expression. “took you long enough.”
you offer a sheepish smile. “i was busy.”
“yeah,” she sneers, locking the stall door behind her. “busy shaking your ass to trashy zuzu club songs.”
you ignore the sharp jab with a roll of your eyes. “what’s up?” you ask, your words slur slightly, almost tapering off into incomprehensible gibberish. “didya you puke or something?”
“ew. no,”the loud is just making my head hurt,” she replies, massaging her temples. “stick your legs together, i’m gonna sit on your lap.”
she knocks your thighs together with her knee. haley maneuvers you to her liking, your bare thighs pressing together when she spins and sits perpendicular to your lap.
“hm.” you feel the weight of her settle on top of your thighs. the warmth of her skin meeting yours under the cut of her skirt. you barely repress a shiver at the heat radiating off her skin. “woah! okay now you really have to tell me what’s going on.”
you're met with a faceful of strawberry-scented blonde hair when she shifts away—ignoring you. good news for her, your drink-addled brain doesn’t seem to care. in fact, your drunk brain figures it is a perfect time to shamelessly flirt. your tongue is loose enough, and your brain has completely thrown away its filter. as friends, of course; building camaraderie as people say.
“you smell nice, did you use that strawberry shampoo i gave?” you murmur, brushing the locks away from your face. you feel haley squirm in your lap. you know she used it, the pride bubbles up in you at the thought.
it’s overly warm, that plus the buttloads of alcohol brewing in your gut makes your skin feel on fire.
haley growls. “stop talking, dumbass.”
you roll your eyes, pinching her thigh. she yelps, high and breathy, swatting your hand away. she meets your eyes, her blonde brows furrowed.
“geez…” a lazy smile playing on your lips. “just take the compliment, hales.”
a ghost of a smirk appears on her cherry colored lips. glossy and pink. you wonder if they taste as sweet and tart as real cherries do—
you wince internally. thinking like that is not a good idea. damn your alcohol foggy brain, making you think of the inane idea of lusting after your best friend.
you knock your forehead into her shoulder. “so are we just going to sit here all day?”
“i just need to touch up my lipstick,” she says. facing you with an expectant look. “then we can go back.”
“and that’s why you called me,” you raise a brow. your gaze trails to the cherry coat on her lips—it looks perfectly fine to you. in fact, she looks absolutely darling like this.
“you need some?”
“…are you offering?”
“why not? we share all my shit anyway,” you shrug. “i think it’s somewhere in my purse—”
“where’s your purse?”
“i left it with the others, i think it’s with abby, i'll text her.” you say. fumbling for your phone, you reach in the hidden pocket of your skirt. the walls enclosing the cubicle restrict your movements; you bump your elbow against the flimsy wood as you dig deeper into the flimsy pocket. your skirt is skin-tight against your hips, you feel the woman above becoming increasingly agitated as your attempts to fish out your phone come out fruitless.
haley huffs above you, shifting; making your wary gaze snap back to her. she looks down at you with a pout—you’re damn sure she’s just as hammered as you.
“too far,” she whines, taking a firm grip of your jaw. your cheeks puff with the force of her squishing them, you feel the pointed tips of her nails digging into the fat there. she swings a leg over you, her hips bracketing your waist as she sits atop you.
this position feels strangely intimate; like all your senses are overwhelmed with only haley. the heady scent of her skin, the short sounds of her breathing in your ears, the burning feeling wherever she touches—it’s all her, her, her.
which shouldn’t make you feel the way it’s making you feel; like you're buzzing with adrenaline. you feel the blood coursing through your veins at race car speeds—spreading all throughout your body. your cheeks feel hot, you feel dizzy with all your senses stimulated by your best friend.
the reverberating bass from the music outside shakes the walls; like some sort of finality as it thumps, thumps, thumps.
“hales,” you start, your mouth dry. “what—”
she stares at you, her crystalline eyes shining in the dim light of the bathroom. a pretty pink flush paints her cheeks til the tips of her pearl-adorned ears. you feel her breaths against your cheek—short and warm. “stay still, the gloss you have on your lips will do.”
your ears have to be fucking with you… your eyes widen and you swear you feel your heart jump up into your throat. “huh—”
“what?” she says in response to your wide-eyed expression. her tone drops to something akin to a purr. “your lipstick is such a pretty shade.”
helping is what friends are for, right? maybe this is merely the alcohol talking; because she doesn’t like you like that, totally—and the disappointment you feel is not because of that either.
you swallow the heavy lump in your throat; your voice is strangled and stuttery when you speak. “f—fine.”
“perfect,” she grins. “hold still.”
this is the least you were expecting when you walked into the club bathroom; who knew you’d end up with haley in your lap and hovering over for what is technically a kiss. you will your eyes not to close, burning the view of her leaning over you into your brain. you shudder; this is not a sight that will leave you for months to come.
you squeeze her hip as her face hovers closer, palm lingering at her scratchy sequin miniskirt. you crane your neck, anticipating the brush of her lips against yours. your other hand travels to her upper back, stroking her locks of golden hair; under your ministrations, you feel her tremor slightly.
it feels like eternity when you finally connect.
sparks fly the moment you feel the plush softness of her mouth against yours, moving in a salacious rhythm that you doubt is for only sharing lipstick.
her lips are sticky with what remains of that cherry lip gloss; it smears all over your own lips, spreading your deep red lipstick everywhere; at the corner of your lips, at your chin. your eyes flutter shut, a contented sigh escapes your mouth and haley uses that as an opportunity to deepen the kiss. she drags her hand up and up, curling her fingers into the base of your neck.
you jolt, the pleasure fogs your mind; your thoughts are muddy, the only coherent thing is of haley.
your tongue swipes at her bottom lip, chasing the fruity flavor of cherry cola on her lips. it’s sweet, she’s sweet. you feel lightheaded with the overwhelming sensations of it. sure, you’ve kissed once or twice—but it never felt like this; soft and desperate and hot and tingly, affecting you all throughout your body.
your breaths are labored when she pulls away and you feel it's too soon. a clicking wet sound when her mouth disconnects from yours that makes you shiver. you feel dizzy with warmth; heat is pooling low in your belly, a low buzzing sensation overwhelms everywhere haley touches.
her lips as wine-red as yours. the same color lipstick smeared messily on her lips. haley wipes the corner of your cupid’s bow, where some of the color had smudged, her breathing heavy and pupils dilated as you stare. her hands feel delightfully warm and soft against your skin. golden strands of hair brush against your cheeks, making you squirm in your seat.
you can barely restrain your delighted giggle, in awe of the absurdity of the situation. haley laughs too, a light sound like a tinkling bell. you slump against the cold tile wall behind you, boneless and in disbelief— did you really just make out with your best friend? and at a grimy club bathroom no less.
time seems suspended here, cramped in a stall with only the sound of heavy breathing. there will be a lot more questions when you leave, lingering glances at your pleasure-pulled hair and smeared lipstick.
this is what friends do, what you and haley do. your eyes track her every move, unabashedly staring as she readjusts her top. haley catches your eye, smiling like the cat that got all the cream.
she cranes her face to your ear, whispering. “thanks for the touch up, babe.”
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I do not actually know how to handle how brilliant Arcane is. I had thought so much about how hard it would be to write a sex scene for Vi and Caitlyn that would fit with the excellence of the rest of the show. And the main question on my mind was like, where do you make it happen? The when was obvious to me, like right before the final battle, when everything is so heightened. But where was not. You cannot just use Caitlyn's mansion, because it means the wrong thing. This isn't a rags-to-riches for Vi where a girl who is essentially Piltover royalty falls in love with her. No. We aren't doing that. This is a ship where the extreme class difference doesn't mean anything except constant pressure to be enemies - means being caught in a cycle of violence and retribution. In this world, theirs is what a deviant and by default doomed love looks like. The class divide between topside and the undercity is the primary, structural inequality. And for them to essentially use repetition and parallel to stage that scene where Vi focuses on her one core loyalty and breaks the law to save her sister, then Jinx hits Vi in the wound and leaves her locked in the cell alone, and Vi has essentially an emotional crash over the cycle of failure and tragedy she's locked in... only to find that Caitlyn came down to get Vi and let her out of prison again. The way that communicated a crazy level of true love: I have so much recognition that I know what you're going to do when things get real and choices dire. And I love you, not in spite of this, but for this. And I am on your side no matter what is happening around us. Louder than loss or hate or revenge or duty or society. And then they just have sex right there and turn that prison cell into something completely else, unlocked and unprecedented. Nothing could be more of a clear poetic expression that their love wins in this against countless odds. Like if we weren't getting what their relationship was, if we were doubting it, if we were still thinking this story would be a tragedy piled on top of endless lesbian love stories used as the vehicle for tragedy, they just fucking said what their story was so hard it hit like a shift to another world. Punctuated by the final note of the last scene. And I genuinely fucking love them for this.
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