#my laptop is so far from my face i cant see if i make spelling mistakes lols

[gracewolf43]

watching dancing with the stars and now im gonna read moon waltz again

uhhhh but after i finish my lab report cause that's due tn hehe🫣

[therealvalkyrie]

Painter’s Hands and Guatemalan Coffee: Part 5

very pretty, very beautiful

Pairing/setting: Levi Ackerman x Female!Reader, modern!college!AU

Summary: When you catch your idiot boyfriend cheating, your grumpy roommate is there to pick up the pieces and watch your back as you toe a carefully drawn line in the metaphorical sand.  

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: intoxication, swearing, feelings, nightmare, fluff, mentions of a deadly car accident

AN: WHOAH OKAY. So I’ve been thinking about the last half of this chapter every second of every minute for the last two days. It has haunted my dreams, y’all. Thanks to that, you get this before the weekend! Yay! Special thanks to @ghostlightprincess, @anlian-aishang, @cant-spell-slay-without-lay, and @horseanon--simpforall for helping me edit and giving me many encouragements and compliments which, quite frankly, made my head the size of Jupiter. I love you all dearly. As always, let me know what you think in my comments/DMs/askbox!! Don’t be a stranger!! And be kind to yourself and others<3 ~valkyrie

—

(read chapter 4 here)

“I think you’re very pretty.”

I think you’re very pretty?

Fuck. Shit.

“I-I-I mean,” Levi feels his throat tighten and cheeks set ablaze, “You’re very, uh, very beautiful.” He says it because it’s true, and the truth is what Levi relies on when his brain is short-circuiting. You’re more than pretty, more than something as trivial as very pretty, you’re gorgeous and smart and funny and it makes his palms sweat. Recently, you’ve been everywhere: in his bed, in his arms, in the periphery of his life even outside of the apartment. It’s overwhelming, this is overwhelming, how his hands are on you and how you’re looking up at him with insecure, anticipatory eyes. They’re glassy and red-rimmed, pupils blown to saucers.

Oh. That’s right, she’s high.

Levi lets his hand drop from the top of your head. He tries to move his other hand away from your cheek, but you grasp his wrist to keep it there. He can feel his own pulse fluttering under your fingertips.

“Very beautiful?” It’s soft, hopeful.

He forces himself not to retract the statement (because it’s true) out of self-preservation.

“Very beautiful, kid.” He can say it without stuttering this time. It’s important that you believe him, and it’s equally important that this is as far as it goes.

You close your eyes against the pet name and turn your face into his palm for a split second, press a swift kiss to it and then drop your hand to your lap. His heart stutters. He drops his hand, too.

“Thank you,” the words fall past your lips, careful and distant, as he takes a step back.

He needs some space. To get his head on straight, to scream into a pillow, to talk some sense into himself. Can’t risk this, not with you, not with you.

“Your, um, your pajamas,” he points to the end of the bed where they’re sitting in a neat pile, then turns tail and strides out of your room, shutting the door behind him.

In his room, his jelly legs finally give out and he flops onto his bed.

Fucking hell.

“Do you think I’m pretty?”

What kind of question is that? Do you not think you’re pretty? Do you care if he, specifically, thinks you’re pretty, or was it intended more generally? Very pretty, very beautiful. What does that even mean?

Levi may not be eloquent in the least, may not know how to confess that you make his every breath burn in his chest, but he does know how to paint. He stands up, wiping sweaty palms on his flannel pants and examining the painting on his easel. His mom stares back, her eyes sparkling, her hair tumbling over one shoulder in ebony waves. It had taken him the last few days to get the curls just right, and when he added the last highlights of shine, it’d finally felt complete.

“Sorry, mama,” he murmurs as he lifts her to set her against the wall under the window.

A new canvas procured from his closet finds its place on the easel. He sifts through his supply drawers for a moment, setting paints and brushes and charcoal neatly on his desk.

He takes a deep breath, situates himself in his wheelie chair, and leans forward to start sketching.

—

It’s 5 AM when you start screaming in a long, shuddering cry, causing Levi to jolt up in his seat, paintbrush poised over your left temple. It breaks off into sobs that make his gut twist and hands clench. A long moment, then you’re letting out another keening wail and Levi is out of his seat. Paint splatters from the brush where he drops it on his desk and his chair rolls back as he runs, ripping doors open and narrowly avoiding furniture in the dark.

You’re sprawled out, thrashing on the bed, sheets tangled with your legs. Levi sits on the edge of your bed, brows pinched in worry, and reaches for your shoulders. This is okay — he can touch you when you ask for his help. When you whimper and reach for him in your sleep, he can pull you close and smooth a hand across the planes of your back. It’s when you’re looking at him, all trusting and expectant for something, that he’s unsure.

He says your name, low and urgent, once, twice, before your eyes open mid-sob. They’re wide and terrified, your jaw tight, muscles clenched. “It’s me, kid, it’s just me,” he intones, “It was just a dream, you’re safe, it’s just me.”

Your heaving chest slows for a second, hitches somewhere in your sternum, and then you’re launching yourself forward and into him. He catches you there, steady against his chest.

“Breathe.” He sets an example with his own deep breaths.

It’s a long minute before he feels you relax at all, before he feels you sigh against his neck. Your arms are tight around his middle and you must be stronger than you look because after a while it starts to pinch. He doesn’t mind, though, just traces patterns on your back and stares at the pale wall.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He feels you shake your head.

“Do you want to go back to sleep?”

You hesitate before you whisper, “Only if you stay.”

Levi thinks about the wet paintbrush currently drying to his desk. He thinks about the mess of clothes on your floor. He thinks of the half-finished painting of you in his room. “Okay. I’ll stay.”

You pull back, and he gets a look at your face in the near-dark. Your eyes are still acutely haunted, but they’ve regained awareness. He lets you take a moment to wipe at your cheeks as he reaches to gently disentangle the sheets and spread them more carefully over your legs.

He looks up at you again to catch your sad eyes with his. Your head is tilted quizzically, knowingly, sympathetically all at once as though he were the one who just woke up screaming. It makes him itch.

“What’s that look for?” he grumbles, toeing his slippers off and tucking them under your bed.

“Nothing,” you hum. “Come here, please.”

He blinks at you for a second. That’s my line. But he goes, crawling into bed with you and slipping under the covers. He lets you tug his arm gently so that he’s on your chest. He gets comfortable there, one arm thrown over your waist and head rested over your heart. Your own arms find a home cautiously around him. You exhale with the grounding pressure of his body on yours and let your mind sink into calm release.

—

The knock on your door breaks your attention from your laptop. You sigh, finish typing your sentence, and push your blue light glasses up your nose before standing up to answer it.

You’re not expecting anyone, but maybe Levi is. He’s been holed up in his room all morning, Chopin drifting lazily under his door, probably studying. Like you’ve been trying to. The second series of knocks on your door makes you jog the last few steps to pull it open.

“Hi—” the greeting dies in your throat when you see who’s standing there.

“Hi,” Annie says. She’s standing, nonchalant as ever, in her winter parka and leggings, holding two to-go cups and a pastry bag.

“What?” It’s a breathless question, genuinely confused. It doesn’t harbor the animosity you would expect — you’re not sure you can feel anything other than queasy right now.

“I got your voicemail.” 

You blink in confusion. She rolls her eyes and thrusts the to-go cups at you with a brief “hold these” before reaching into her pocket for her phone. You just stare at her while she taps and scrolls for a minute. She looks the same as before you stopped speaking: blonde hair tucked into a bun at the back of her head and hoodie peeking out of the collar of her jacket. Maybe a little more tired, though Annie always seemed to be tired.

She holds up her phone for you to hear as a voicemail starts playing and, to your further shock, your own tinny voice spills out. It sounds like you’re crying, and slightly muffled.

“Annie, hi, um, I know it’s late but I couldn’t think of anyone else to call, I just,” sniffle, “I know we’re not talking and I’m still mad at you, like REALLY MAD, okay? But I couldn’t think of who else to call and long story short I think I’m in love with Levi and he might’ve just rejected me but I just couldn’t tell—”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” you cut in across your own voice, stepping into the hall with her and toeing the door almost shut behind you. She stops the voicemail. “But why are you here?” You know why she’s here — Annie never backs down from anything, and you had started the conversation, even if you’d been drunk and high and half asleep and you don’t really remember doing it.

“You called, here I am. That’s what best friends do.” Her tone is even.

“Not best friends who fuck their best friends’ boyfriends,” you snap, anger finally bursting from your stomach and into your throat.

She closes her eyes impatiently, sighs, then looks at you again not quite pleadingly.

“Look, if you want me to leave, I’ll leave. But I’m here now and there’s more to the story that you aren’t aware of.”

“What else could there possibly be?”

“Let’s go for a walk and I’ll tell you,” she offers, then holds up the pastry bag. “I brought coffee and donuts. They’re jelly.”

Jelly donuts are your favorite.

You look down at the cups in your hand. You look back at her steady blue gaze. More to the story.

“Fine.” You turn and kick the door open a little too harshly. “Just let me get dressed.”

She follows you in, even though you don’t extend an invitation, and closes the door softly. You put the cups down on the coffee table and watch her sit in her usual spot on the couch to wait for you out of the corner of your eye. You scowl but say nothing.

It only takes you a minute to shuck off to pajamas and pull on jeans, a sweatshirt, and boots. You don’t bother with a bra.

You knock lightly on Levi’s door and call through, “I’m going for a walk, so make sure to lock up if you leave. I have my keys.” You jingle them as evidence and he grunts in acknowledgment. “Let’s go,” you turn and address Annie, who stands.

The walk down your street to the river is short and habitual, your feet carrying you while your mind races. You can feel the anger and hurt, visceral and stabbing, in your chest. But there’s also something tender there, too, something that acknowledges how you missed your best friend. Something that screams at you to tackle her to the ground and feel her stoic comfort. Instead, you shove your hands deeper into the pockets of Eren’s jacket and kick a pebble, sending it skidding down the sidewalk.

The pair of you reach the walking bridge over the river and pause at the railing. The sky is overcast, threatening a snowstorm. A car beeps downtown, reaching you distantly. Annie hands you a coffee and a donut. You lean against the railing and avoid her gaze.

“So. You wanted to talk. Talk.” You bite into the donut.

She sighs through her nose. “I know what you saw. We… we did kiss, but we didn’t do anything else. We never had sex.”

“Hmm.” A sip of coffee.

“I know you have no reason to believe me, but it’s the truth. I’m guessing you didn’t exactly listen to Reiner when you broke up with him?”

“I didn’t have time for his bullshit excuses.”

She breaks off a bit of her donut and stares at it contemplatively for a moment, “I know you don’t owe either of us anything, and this isn’t meant as an excuse, but will you listen to why, at least?”

You press your lips together, sneak a look into her devastatingly blue eyes, and nod. What harm can it do? And you have to admit there’s a large part of you that’s been wondering at the why, even if you’ve refused to hear it.

“Okay. Tell me why.”

She takes a deep breath and leans her elbows on the railing before starting to speak, low and pensive.

“I’ve known Reiner and Bertholdt a long time, since we were kids. We’ve always been this… this odd group. You wouldn’t think we were close if you didn’t know us. But it wasn’t always just us.” She pauses, looking distant. “Do you know Porco Galliard?”

Galliard… “He’s a sophomore on the lacrosse team, right?”

“Yeah. Do you know what happened to his brother?”

“He has a brother?”

“Had. Marcel. He was a year older than us but somehow ended up in our little group. And a couple of years ago, senior year of high school, we were all in a car accident. He was home on winter break and we’d all had a little too much to drink, and we convinced him to take us to Denny’s for midnight milkshakes. And, well, there was a winter storm coming in and it’d been freezing rain that week, and we crashed. Marcel died. It was… I hadn’t…” She pauses, tilting her head back to the sky, blinking away tears. “It was horrible.”

Your eyes have gone wide, cast downriver. You don’t know what you’d expected when you walked down here, but it certainly wasn’t this. It wasn’t Annie, only rivaled in her stoicism by Levi, choking back tears and wiping snot from her nose.

“Hey,” you start, voice gentler than it’s been all day. “You don’t have to—”

“No, no, I want to, just... give me a second,” she interjects, wringing out a hand. She takes a deep, purposeful breath.

“Okay,” you whisper, looking back out across the water.

“It, uh, it hit us all really hard, brought us really close together. That’s why we all ended up at school here, actually. It kinda made us realize that, like, time is limited, you know? We don’t have forever. And Bertl, he…” she smiles, watery and reminiscent. “When he asked me out, it felt like a long time coming. It was just about perfect. He felt safe and like home, and… well, you know how in love we were. But I could see that it alienated Rei, at least a bit. He tried not to show it, but I could tell he felt like a third wheel. He was already drifting away from us, still struggling with all this guilt.”

Your breath catches in your throat. That’s a familiar feeling. Guilt. And yet, you’d never noticed it in Reiner, apparently never got close enough to shine a flashlight into his darkest shadows. He’d always seemed so… sunshiney. You clearly hadn’t given him enough credit to dislodge the aura of jock frat boy he projects so brightly.

Soft dough squishes under your fingertips where you’ve resorted to playing with your food instead of eating it as Annie continues.

“And then he met you and fell in love so fast. I was so relieved, I mean, you and I were roommates and it was just perfect, right?” You look at her and see a flicker of hopefulness still there. “I thought maybe you two getting together would bring him back to us, that maybe we’d be alright after all. And at first, it did. But then you moved off campus for sophomore year and he started drifting away again, though he was at least anchored to you, this time. It scared me, it really did.”

She kicks the bottom of the railing lazily, as if to expend the sadness there rather than in her words. The first fat flakes of snow drift down around you. One dances away on your exhale.

“He’s so withdrawn, sometimes, in his own head, and I never know how to reach him there. I didn’t know if he had told you about Marcel, or anything, so I couldn’t go through you. I don’t… I didn’t know what to do, so I just... let it fester. That night, when we kissed, I hadn’t seen him physically for a month. It hurt.”

She looks at you imploringly, like the weight of everything she’s saying lies on deep hurt. You can relate to feeling as though there’s nothing but hurt and guilt and drifting.

“So I figured out where he was from his Snapchat story, abandoned my group project, and went over there to see him. I didn’t know what I’d say or do when I got there, just that I had to get him back, somehow. He was already plastered, you know how he gets, and he wasn’t listening to me, so I just… kissed him. I don’t know what I was thinking, I didn’t know you were there, I didn’t even know you saw until he called me the next day after you broke up with him to chew me out.

“So, long story short,” her voice breaks on a mournful, almost hysterical laugh, “I fucked up the three most important relationships to me in one night because I couldn’t use my words.” She wipes at wet cheeks, not looking at you. “So, um. Yeah, that’s the why, I guess. I don’t expect you to forgive me, or him, but I just… I needed you to know. It wasn’t like, this elaborate affair.”

You aren’t sure how to right your brain from the way it’s tilted off kilter. It’s so much, so different from what you’d built up in your head. There’s no conspiracy, no grand intention to break you.

Even with all this new information, what stupidly slips out first is, “Did he kiss you back?” You blanch, turn to her with wide eyes, “Sorry, that’s not exactly im—”

“No, it’s fine,” she meets your eyes. “He did kiss me back.”

“Oh. Okay, um…” you trail off, bite your lip. You don’t know what exactly to say. Your skin is tight with the urge to forgive her immediately and wholly, but logic holds you back. Now that you know the truth, you need time to heal and get some perspective. You straighten up from where you’d been slouching against the railing. “Okay. You’ve been honest, so I will be, too.”

She stands up fully as well, facing you with one hand on the railing.

“I don’t know how I feel right now,” you start. “I think I need some time and perspective. But, I… I can see now where I went wrong, too. I assumed the worst, didn’t let any communication happen.” You swallow down the lump in your throat threatening to choke your voice. “And, I wasn’t there for Rei like I should have been. I had no idea — no idea! — what he was going through.”

“Well, he didn’t exactly tell you—”

“And why is that?” Your voice breaks, squeaks with the question. “Did he feel like he couldn’t confide in me? Did I make it too much about me and my trauma? I wasn’t exactly shy about telling him my shit.” You take a long draw of coffee. “Anyway. I should probably talk to him, shouldn’t I?”

She nods. “He’d like that.”

You’re both quiet for a moment, watching the sparse snow flurry around you. Annie finally starts eating her donut.

“I’ve missed you,” you confess into the storm. “A lot.”

“I missed you, too.”

Your chest aches with both the cold air and the conflicting feelings of relief and regret.

“Why, uh… why didn’t you tell me all that stuff about Marcel?”

She leans on the railing again, takes a sip of coffee before answering. “I was still working through it. Still am, rather. I didn’t know how to bring it up, or that it was relevant.”

You hum, nodding. “I get that.”

There’s another silence, but it feels lighter, less charged. There are still questions bouncing around your mind, but you decide it’s better to process through them on your own rather than blurting out something stupid. Perspective.

“So,” she shoots you a look under blonde eyelashes, “what’s this about you being in love with Levi?”

“Aw, shit,” you laugh, leaning your elbows back on the railing and giving her an imploring look. “It really snuck up on me.”

“Is that so? Can’t say I’m shocked.” Her tone is dry, a little amused around the last bite of jelly donut. She wipes her fingers on her leggings and faces you. “And you think he rejected you.”

“Well, I…” you cringe, thinking back to last night. “He called me very beautiful.”

“Doesn’t sound like a rejection.”

“It was the way he said it! Like it physically hurt him to admit, and then he just ran out of the room,” you whine, scrubbing a hand down your face.

“I think that’s just his emotional constipation.” 

You look at her sharply, mouth agape, to catch her eyes dancing and the corner of her lip curling upward slightly. “Annie!”

“What? I’m right.” She finishes off her coffee, tilting back the cup to catch the last dregs of it. “He likes you, or he’s an idiot if he doesn’t.”

You narrow your eyes in doubt, mirroring her half-smile. “Hmm. We’ll see.”

“Yes,” she promises, crumpling up the pastry bag in her fist and stuffing it in her pocket. “We will.”

—

(read part 6 here)

[worldserasingandcreatinginmymind]

Flesh & Blood | Part Three

Series Summary: A mysterious stranger with ties to your past shows up in your small village

Chapter Summary: now you know the truth about the mysterious stranger, but there's still more to learn 

Pairing: Count Dracula x reader

Word Count: 2493

Warnings: mentions of blood, death

A/N: as always spelling and grammar is not my strongest skill so please be kind :) if you want to be added to the taglist let me know (please note I cant reply to comments using this blog)

Masterlist | Part Two 

- - - - -

“I will never understand why he spared me, but I feel this is not the last I will see of the count”

You finish reading Sister Y/N’s story and close the journal, moving it back across the table to Zoe without saying a word. You couldn’t speak even if you wanted to, this was a lot to take in. 

You both sit in silence for a moment, Zoe allowing you to process what you had read. After a few minutes you finally speak.

“Do you know where he is now?” You ask quietly.

“not exactly no” she admits “the last we saw him he was on the beach last night. We had him, well we thought we had him but he killed a young lady and escaped. We haven’t seen him since.”

“What does he look like?” You twiddle your thumbs nervously, afraid that her answer will confirm your suspicions. 

“Tall, pale skin, black hair. Nothing to suggest he’s anything other than a normal man, but his eyes. There’s something about his eyes, they’re just so…”

“Dark” you finish her sentence and look at her “he was here, this morning he was here in the cafe. He knew my name. I convinced myself he just read it off my name tag but I don't think he did. The way he said it, it was as if he knew me.”

“Have you seen him since?” Her face is serious.

“No…” you shake your head but then remember “wait yes, yes while I was eating my lunch he was there. Outside, he was watching me from under the tree. I saw him for just a moment but then he was gone. I thought I had imagined it”

“Right okay, we need to get you away from here. I thought we’d have longer before he found you-” Zoe says as she starts typing fast on her laptop.

“Why did he find me? What does he want from me?”

“I don't know. But he’s a murderous vampire so chances are he wants your blood.”

“Oh my God I feel sick” you rest your head in your hands, trying to take deep breaths as you feel your heart pounding in your chest. Zoe’s phone rings and she answers.

“Hello? Yes. Where? Okay I’ll be right there” she hangs up the phone and quickly packs her stuff away, standing up. “They’ve found him.”

“Where is he?” You shoot your head up to look at her. 

“In a house not far from here, I’m going there now. A car will be here soon to pick you up and bring you in”

“In where?” You ask as she heads to the door.

“The research facility where I work. You’ll be safe there.”

“No I cant go, what about my job? What about Maggie?” You ask frantically and Zoe walks over to you and takes your hand.

“It’s you he wants. Maggie, and everyone else in this village will be safer if you are not here.”

You look into her eyes, searching for answers but she turns and leaves you standing in the middle of the empty cafe. You bring your hands up to your head, running your fingers through your hair as you try to make sense of all this. 

Five minutes later you see a car pull up outside and a man steps out, walking into the cafe.

“Ms Y/L/N?” 

You nod your head. 

“I work with Dr Van Helsing, she sent me to collect you.” He walks back outside and opens the back door waiting for you. You walk out the cafe and you're about to climb into the car when Maggie comes running down the street.

“Y/N? What’s going on? Where are you going?” She shouts as she gets closer.

“It’s okay Maggie, I’ll explain everything as soon as I can. I promise.” You walk over to her and give her a hug “if you see the man from this morning, I need you to run. Okay? Promise me.” you whisper in her ear before pulling away. She looks at you confused but nods her head. You get in the car and watch her from the window as you drive away, leaving her stood outside the cafe alone. 

“Excuse me, where are we going?” You ask tentatively and the driver looks at you through the rear view mirror. 

“The Jonathan Harker Foundation” 

— — — — 

About an hour later the car pulls up outside a magnificent old stone building surrounded by what looks like the remains of a castle. The driver opens the door and you get out the car, following him through the main entrance of the building. 

The interior of the building doesn’t match the outside, its too modern. The corridors are busy with people in lab coats, some look anxious while others look excited. You’re led through them till you arrive at a set of doors where a smartly dressed woman is waiting for you. 

“Y/N. I’m Dr Bloxham” she holds her had out to shake yours and you notice her other hand is bandaged up “we’re just about to start, come through” 

She pushes the door open and holds it for you. You walk through into a big room set out like a lecture hall, no more than 20 people sat dotted around all dressed in the same medical looking outfits. She gestures for you to take a seat and you do, choosing to sit near the back. She walks to the front of the room and gives a brief introduction before a video starts playing on the screen. Two divers are seen looking at a box amongst what looks like a ship wreck under the sea. The box is opened to reveal a man lying dead. The camera gets closer to his face and your heart skips when you realise that the man in the box is the same man who came to the cafe this morning. As the video continues playing Dr Bloxham resumes talking. 

“As you can see, even after 123 years the body was perfectly preserved…” she pauses as the diver on screen lifts the man’s lips to show his teeth “or so we thought.”

Suddenly the man’s eyes move and he bites down on the diver’s fingers. Gasps and groans of shock murmur through the room as blood is seen spreading in the sea. You clasp your hand up to your mouth suppressing the urge to scream. You don't want to watch but you cant take your eyes off the horror on the screen. 

“The body was not preserved. Dracula was in fact alive, though dormant. Apparently in some kind of restorative coma, in which he would have remained if I hadn’t have been stupid enough to feed him. So in case you're wondering, yeah…” she holds up her bandaged hand “vampires bite.”

Your heart is pounding and your head is spinning. You feel sick. 

You stand up and quietly leave the room through the same doors you entered. You start walking quickly through the corridors, trying to find a way out but as you turn a corner you bump into Zoe.

“Ah Y/N. Just the girl I was looking for.” She notices the look of panic on your pale face “Are you alright, what’s wrong?”

“I, I just. I cant, I cant…” you try to talk through your frantic breaths “I need to go”

She takes your shoulders in her hands and turns you so she’s looking in your face. 

“Listen to me. Y/N. You are safe. We have him, he’s locked up. He cant hurt you” she continues looking at you as you slowly start to breathe normally.  “Come with me” she leads you off in a different direction and you end up outside a large metal door with a big circle handle in the middle, like the ones you would find on a submarine. Above the door are three clocks. One shows the current time and the other two are labelled as sunrise and sunset. 

Zoe opens a small window in the door and takes a quick look inside before gesturing for you to have a look. You peer through the window and there he is, the man you now know to be a centuries old vampire. Count Dracula. 

He is stood in the middle of a large glass box, looking rather confused at the toilet that is in there with him. Around the room multiple armed guards are placed, all closely watching his every move. 

“You see? He is contained, there is nothing to worry about.” Zoe reassures and you let out a small sigh of relief. Suddenly Dracula tuns and looks straight at you, lifting his hand to wave as he smiles charmingly. You take step away from the window and look at Zoe. 

“Does this mean I can go home now? If he’s here then I can go right?”

“Well, we would like you to stay. We think you could really help us. But we can’t force you to do anything you don't want to do”

You look down for a moment thinking then slowly raise your head to look back at her. 

“I want to go home”

Zoe looks slightly disappointed but nods in understanding. 

“Okay, I’ll get the driver to take you back. But if you do want to come back at any time, here’s my number” she hands you a small piece of paper with her number on and you put it in your pocket.

— — — — 

The car pulls up outside your home and you thank the driver before getting out and heading straight to your door. As you take your keys from your pocket and unlock the front door you take a look back at the village. It’s evening now so from the top of the hill all you can see is a sea of lights in the darkness. You head inside and crash down onto the sofa. You're exhausted. Then you remember Maggie and you go to grab your phone but remember you left it in your bag which is still behind the counter in the bakery. You groan and stand up, pulling your coat and shoes back on and leaving the house. 

After the day you’ve had a walk in the fresh evening air actually feels really good. You reach the bakery and pull your key out which thankfully you kept attached to your house keys which you always kept in your coat pocket. You find your bag exactly where you left it and pull out your phone. 51 missed calls and a whole lot more messages, mostly from Maggie. She must be worried sick. You close up the bakery again and begin your walk back home, typing a text message as you walk. 

‘Hi Maggie, I’m so sorry about this afternoon and I’m even more sorry that I made you worry. I’m okay. I’ll explain everything to you tomorrow once I’ve had a good sleep. Love you xxx’

As you're about to send the message your phone starts ringing, the caller ID is a number you don't recognise so you decline the call. Almost immediately it rings again, so you decline again. Your phone rings for a third time and you decide to answer just to get them to leave you alone but before you say anything you hear Zoe’s voice on the other end. 

“Y/N! Where are you right now? Are you in your house?” 

“No I’m walking home now, I had to head back to work to get my phone-“

“Get home right now and don't answer the door, do not invite anyone in. Do you understand?” She interrupts, sounding worried.

“Yes… but why? What’s happening?” You ask and you can hear shouting in the background, Zoe doesn’t respond. “Zoe? Whats going on?”

“He’s out. Count Dracula we let him go.”

Your heart drops to your stomach and you begin walking faster. 

“His lawyer showed up and threatened us, we had no choice”

“his lawyer?” You question but she ignores you.

“Just get home now. I’m on my way to you” she hangs up the phone and you stick it back in your pocket, again picking up your speed while also trying to remain as calm as possible. But you cant help but feel on edge, the hairs on the back of your next standing up as every little noise and shadow makes you jump. 

You swear you can hear footsteps behind you but every time you turn around nothing is there. You walk even faster. You hear a noise behind you and glance over your shoulder as you begin running. Then bang. You run into someone and hear a glass smash.

“you should watch where you're going” the bloke slurs. You try to just push past him and carry on running but he holds you in place “where do you think you're going, you owe me a drink” and leans in close. You can smell the alcohol on his breath.

“Look I’m sorry about the drink but I really need to go” you break free but he grabs your wrist, pulling you into the dark alley next to the pub “Get off me!” You protest and he pushes you hard against the brick wall, his booze drenched body pinning you in place as the back of your head starts to throb from the impact. 

“You owe me for that drink”

“I’ll pay you back tomorrow I promise-”

“I can think of a way you can pay me back right now” he presses his disgusting mouth against yours and you try your hardest to push him away but he’s at least twice your size. His hands wonder and he starts lifting your top up. 

You lift your knee up to make direct contact with his balls and he stumbles back in pain, clutching himself as he doubles over. You take this opportunity to make a run for it but he grabs your arm just before you’re free. 

“You're gonna regret that, bitch!” He spits, pulling you back to him.  

“Actually…” a familiar voice interrupt “you're the one who’s going to regret your actions” 

In a flash of movement Dracula is stood behind the drunk holding him still as he releases his grip on your arm “then again, you're not to be alive long enough to regret anything” he swishes his hand across the man’s neck and blood behind to pour out. You jump backwards in shock. Dracula releases him and he slumps to the floor, his eyes fixed on you as he bleeds out. Dracula starts to walk towards you and you try to run but you trip and fall to the floor, banging your head once again. You roll onto your side, clutching your head with your hand and groaning in pain. In your blurry vision you see Dracula slowly approach you before crouching down so he’s close to you. 

“Don't worry Y/N, I’ll take care of you” 

Part Four

Taglist: @agent-smulder​ @kandomeresbitch @a-dorky-book-keeper

[hoseokmylovesworld]

Let Me | Jimin Drabble

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Requested: Anonymous: 

Hi there~ can I request jimin drabble? About yn tired and frustrated bcs of exams? Thanks:)

Genre: FLUFF, light smut

Length: 1,956k words

Warnings: Just some soft, supportive boyfriend Jimin, and slight smut, oral sex (female receiving), fingering.

A/N: This ask really cleansed my soul from the filth I’ve been writing all week so thank you anon. 

You sat hunched over your desk typing away on your laptop with your eyes totally glued to the screen. The only light in your room comes from the bright glow of the computer and the desk lamp allowing you to see your study guides scattered in front of you. You had been studying tirelessly for finals all week and it would be two days until they were finally upon you. 

Everyday, your boyfriend Jimin would come over to find you in awkward positions at your desk in your bedroom and beg for your attention. But even his sweet smile and adorably round cheeks weren’t enough to pull your focus away from your studies. You heard Jimin unlock the apartment door with the key that you gave him and your eyes dart to the time on the screen. He’s back from practice already?, you thought.

12:07 AM. You’ve been sitting here for eight hours, switching from one subject to another and only pausing to cater to bodily needs and functions. You shrug and continue working, you were on a roll, no reason to stop now. Jimin could be heard shuffling around in the kitchen before he called out for you. 

"Y/n?" 

"In here!" You replied over your shoulder. He approached the bedroom, delaying his movements at the threshold to observe you. "Are you still studying babe?" He sighed, turning on the light and toeing off his shoes. 

You furrowed your brows at the foolish question and spoke without thinking. "I don't know, do I still have finals this week?" You retorted sarcastically, your fingers still moving swiftly over the keys of your laptop. 

He paused, catching a whiff of sass in your tone. But he chalked it up to stress and brushed it off, figuring he'd try to help with the situation. So he pulled on his usual sweet smile and stood behind you.

"True, but you should take a break. Look at this!” He beamed in excitement. “I just bought this Ben and Jerry's flavor that just dropped and I wanna try it together." He crooned, placing the pint of ice cream and spoons on the desk and resting his hands on your shoulders. You made a face and quickly moved the dripping wet pint away from your papers.

"Later babe, I gotta finish this." You droned, uninterested. 

"Oh come on, just five minutes. It'll still be there when you get back." He implored, thrumming his fingers against your arms eagerly.

"No Jimin, that's not the point." You spoke firmly shrugging his hands off of you. 

"Whoa...someones cranky." His smile dropped along with his hands as he made his way to the bed. You sighed, finally looking away from the laptop and turned towards him. You grabbed his hand before he could get too far and squeezed apologetically. 

"I’m sorry. I’m just...tired." You grumbled, rubbing at your eyes. You’ve been at this since 4:00 PM and staring at a screen and working constantly with no breaks for that long was beginning to take a toll on you. 

"I can see that." He reaches up and grasps your face gently in his hands. He looked you over gingerly, noticing dark circles beginning to formulate under your eyes. 

He suddenly squishes your face and laughs at how your cheeks move up. "What are you doing?" You whined playfully while swiping at his hands. He lets go and kneels in front of you placing his hands on your thighs. 

"Are you almost done at least?" He wondered, looking up at you with those pure and charming eyes while gently massaging your thighs. You scoffed, glancing back at your computer with a tired smile. "Oh, not a chance."

Jimin sucked his teeth, and threw his head back exasperatedly. "But you've been here all day. I'm sure you’ve gotten more than enough done." You shook your head at him. Although he was right, you still felt like it wasn’t enough. "I know but I need to drill all of this into my head at least two more times—" 

"You need to take a break." You go to argue but Jimin cuts you off, pressing a finger to your lips. "And not to go to the bathroom or stuff some chips in your mouth." He reprimanded. You immediately shut your mouth and look down with a guilty smile. 

He got up off of the floor and pulled you with him. "Come on, get up." He insisted.

"What why?" 

His eyes widened as he tried to spell it out for you. "Because you need to get out of this chair. I know your body hurts." 

You got up and immediately felt the need to stretch your limbs. "I told you. You shouldn't stay like that for too long babe. Sitting is the new smoking, you know." He explains, stretching his own body right alongside you. You chuckled fondly while cracking your back and grunting lightly.

"Thank you for that information, Jimin." You nod with a fond smile.

"You're welcome. Now come here." He grasped your shoulders and led you to the bed. You resisted slightly. "No, Jimin, I need to study." You said, barely trying to get out of his hold.

"You've been doing that literally all day. Now I need you to step away and just relax for a minute. Let me help you do that." He whispered in your ear, the sound instantly putting you at ease.

You sighed defeatedly and allowed yourself to be led to the bed. You sat on the end of the bed, straight away your bum felt so much better and Jimin just chuckled at you.

"No babe. Come lie on your stomach." He smiled, patting the pillows at the head of the bead

"Oh, well, I don't know." You muttered innocently, moving up the mattress. 

You make yourself comfortable on your stomach with your arms tucked under your head. "Now what?" You mumbled into your wrist.

"Now I get on top of you." He said quickly, climbing on top of you and settling right on your bottom, careful not to put all of his weight on you.

"Park Jimin, what the fuck are you doing?" You questioned with a confused smile. He responded while fighting back laughter. "Shhh. Just relax." 

You felt his hands glide up from your lower back to your shoulder blades slowly. He reached the top of your shoulders and began to knead firmly into them. You moaned immediately, his hands releasing all the tension you acquired throughout the week with constant studying.

"Does that feel good?" He breathed quietly. 

"You know it does. Damn babe, how have we not done this before?" You drawled in delight.

"I've never seen you this stressed before. You're so tight, Y/N.” He grunted, working on one trouble spot in your trap muscle. “You really need to take it easy."

You took a break from moaning to reply to him. "I know, but that's easier said than done and I really need to pass—"

"And you will." He whispered in your ear. "You're the smartest girl I know. You're gonna do great." He continued placing sweet kisses on your cheek. You giggled and and scrunched your face up playfully.

"Now stop worrying and let me take care of you." He really went to work on your shoulders, arms, shoulder blades and lower back for a glorious hour and a half before you started to feel something poking at your butt. You smiled faintly, at the fact that you could turn him on without doing much of anything.

"You got another relaxation treatment for me back there?" You joked, reaching back to rub his thigh. 

Jimin laughed at himself for being caught and leaned over you. “It’s not easy to listen to you moan under me like this and not be affected, okay?” He whispered earnestly. 

“I see.” You nodded against the pillow with an intrigued face. “So do you think this method might help? With the stress I mean.” You prompted flirtatiously. 

"If you're up to it, sure.” He uttered, placing tender kisses on your cheek and neck. “I think it'll really do the trick." His hands continue to caress your arms and back sensually. 

"I’m inclined to agree. I cant wait to try it." You said poking your backside back up in his direction, making Jimin moan with hunger. 

You both stop beating around the bush and spring into action when Jimin removes himself from your back. Neither of you waste any time getting undressed, knowing exactly what you were about to do. 

Once you were both down to your underwear, Jimin was back on top of you kissing your lips roughly. You moaned into his mouth, wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling him impossibly close to your body. You wanted to savor every touch and kiss between the two to you and have him like this forever. 

You held him even closer when you felt him separate from you and start to travel down your body. You assumed you would be getting right to the main event and desperately wanted him inside of you. He eased your worries with a kiss filled with so much passion it made your toes curl. 

“Let me make you feel good.” He urged against your lips in a voice you could never say no to. You only nodded bemusedly and let him kiss his way down your torso until he ended up in between your legs. You licked your lips sensuously as he breathed over your heat, fondling your thighs with his soft, warm hands. 

Finally he stuck his tongue out to flick your clit several times and you let out a short hiss. He went on like this, just enjoying your delicious pussy, barely touching you and making you squirm when you gripped his hair in your hands. He looked up questioningly. 

“Please don’t tease me, baby. I can’t take it.” You begged breathlessly. You were already so tightly wound from the week you’ve had. You needed release and soon. You watched as your boyfriend smiled up at you devilishly. “You’re right Y/N, I’m sorry.” He admitted and ducked back down in between your legs. 

You relaxed back into the bed, not having a single moment to catch your breath when Jimin dove into you and began eating you out like a man possessed. You groaned and immediately propped your head up on your arm to watch him. His mouth was flush to your lower lips as he licked and sucked all over and around your clit. 

“Hooooo my God, Jimin!” You moaned shrilly with one hand gripping Jimin’s silky hair and the other fisting the sheets of the bed. You feel like you stopped breathing when he easily inserted two fingers into you and curled them rapidly. 

He looked back up at you, the two of you making intense eye contact as you felt your muscles tighten and your mind cloud with immense pleasure. You shut your eyes tightly and arched your back as you let the waves of your orgasm crash over you. 

“Holy mother of Jesus.” You sighed contentedly as Jimin withdrew himself from you and kissed his way back up your beautiful body to your mouth. Your lips met for a deep and breathless kiss that you both smiled happily into. 

“I love you, Y/N.” He purred, lightly kissing any portion of your skin he could reach and making you giggle. You return as many as you can replying, “I love you more.” And with that Jimin took it upon himself to help you relax for the remainder of the night all the way into the morning for a very rewarding study break.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Feeling kinda dumb asking this tbh. Not sure if you even watched TVD, but in case you did, you know how Bonnie uses Expression Magic which is considered extreamly dark and powerful form of magic (I mean, she literally destroyed hell!) do you mind writing Freddy x victim!reader oneshot where he mets a witch who also practices Expression and is extreamly powerfull? He tries to kill her at first obviously

Omg, this one started out so light hearted but oh my god.

Don't feel dumb!! Its a good ask!! I do watch TVD, and I hope you like this ^^ 

~~~

I wake up the same way I have for the past 3 weeks. With messy hair, slashes through my favourite pyjama shirt and a finger in my hand- well, it isn’t always a finger. Sometimes its an ear, a portion of his ugly sweater, his hat, once even his eyeball. You get the picture though. Unimpressed, I watch the finger turn to gunky, dirty dust. Then promptly get up and tiredly get out the vacuum cleaner to clean up the mess.

Once I’m done, I put the vacuum back in its cupboard down the hall, which at this point I could totally do just from muscle memory and no other senses due to how often this month I’ve ripped something of Freddy’s back out into the real world in my attempt to take him out and kill him off the clean way.

But, I take a deep breath and let it out, exhausted and resigned, as I pull on pants and search through my closet for a shirt to wear out today. I guess I’m going to have to do it the hard way.

Finally, I discard the ruined shirt and wrench on a clean, yellow t-shirt and leave my house.

___TIME SKIP___

“Hey, Bernard,” I beam towards the grassy haired barista. The café’s basically empty, apart from a group of teenagers watching Netflix and Disney plus on their laptops and phone sin the far corner, so I think we’re fine to talk. He looks up from the mug he was drying out, sees my expression and promptly scoffs. Immediately he starts down the bar, past the glass case with all the sweets inside including a delicious jelly slice with lavender for safety that I get when I come here for breakfast, rounds it, and comes all the way to stand very close to me. He holds up his pointer finger between us sternly, almost mad and I focus instead on his hair rather then his face. It really is grassy- not because he’s been playing footy which he likely was before he came to work and not just because its green. Its messy, and multiple shades of different, environmental green. Representing his element.

“Don’t you dare.”

I sigh, and roll my eyes as I sit down in a bar stool, successfully putting space between us as he doesn’t move. “Its kind of a dire situation.”

“A demon?” He doesn’t look at all like it would change his mind on the subject of my using magic if it were a demon. Which it is.

“Yes.”

“What kind?”

“The kind that draws strength from attention, lets move on.” Again, I roll my eyes. Not at Bernard though, this time its Freddy. Yes, he totally is that kind of demon. Not even just because he needs people to believe he exists to work. He’s just an attention whore.

Bernard crosses his arms and rolls his shoulders back, more than expressing his parents’ shared fire element. And, also, his cranky streak. “You will not use magic.”

“I’ve tried doing it the easy way. I’ll be safe, I promise.”

“I’m not worried about you, I’m worried about your neighbours, and the rest of the known universe if you fuck up. Actually, scratch that. Unknown universe, too.”

“I’m not asking you for permission anyway. Just- come on, gimmie the book.” I hold out my hand, looking around for where he could possibly be hiding it. Cupboards? Behind the cupboards? Has he digitised it? He just continues to glower, and its so forceful that I lower my hand and pout. He’s always been the scary cousin in our family.

“Oh, you so are asking me for permission. You don’t know where the book is!” He sneers, and I deadpan deeply at his immaturity.

“Look, Ber, we’re grown adults. Grown! Ass! Adults! I can make my own decisions, now- where is the book?”

“No!”

“Gimmie!”

“I’m older than you, and I say no!”

“Berrrrrrrr- Oh hi Boyd.” I pause in glaring at my Bernard to look at his brother, Boyd walk by from the upstairs apartment, clipping the vizor attachment to his glasses as he’s going out. He looks boredly at me smiling at him and keeps going to the door with an old-fashioned bell fixed to the top.

“You’re here for the grimoire?” He asks, opening the door and turning over his shoulder, and I nod sweetly- he’s sure to be more helpful! “Yeah, Bernard lost it. Hid it so well even he cant find it anymore. Now, I have a date.” He leaves the, now very tense and cold café with a curt, “Later.”

Slowly… I turn to Bernard. He is now avoiding eyecontact. He misplaced… our families… century old… grimoire??! “Find. It.”

Having a change of heart, he heads behind the counter again with a lowered head. “Oof, I’m on it.”

It must take hours, before I give up looking alongside him and sit down to take a rest. The teenagers have gone by now, and Bernard turned the ‘Open’ sign on the front window around to say ‘Closed’. I don’t know how it happened, but at some point, I rest my head on the bench and the exhaustion from not getting full rest for weeks catches up to me, and I fall asleep.

“Back so soon?”

I jump. “Gah!” Turning around to where the voice came from and I see Freddy- clearly, not in a creative mood because otherwise he wouldn’t have appeared so quick. “Why are you here?!”

“This is my domain, sweetheart.” Freddy explains, something I already knew and he knows I already know and I groan.

“It’s the middle of the day! Can’t I have this one moment to sleep in peace??” A wide smile spreads across his face, and I slouch over. Course not. Oh god, I am so tired. Another yell escapes me though, exhaustion making me incredibly jumpy, when suddenly he appears beside me. Physical form and everything, I can feel the fuzz of his sweater on my arm. “Don’t touch me.” I flash him a glare, not daring him. Definitely not daring him- he’ll take it. Just telling him to back the fuck off because I’m tired not only from his unfaltering ability to keep me busy and working, even when I’m asleep, and also now because my dear older, moronic cousin has lost our grimoire which was entrusted to him, which I need to get rid of Freddy, in order to sleep and actually feel rested!

Oh, my goodddddd, I would do almost anything right now to dream about stupid normal stuff like flying, or running from an encroaching car, or falling. Even falling, which wakes you up. At least I can fall right back to sleep.

“Okay, now, see, if you tell me that, I’ll just wanna do the opposite! ~” The clawed glove nears my face and my right eye twitches, but I stand still there with my arms crossed and glare at it. The rusty, nearly black metal nearing my eyes, reflecting the sharp, gross grin on Freddy’s burnt face.

“So, its opposite day then?” I ask, humouring him because what else are you going to do? When he gets bored, he’s even more dangerous.

“Yep!” Visibly, the stripe sin his sweater switch places so its green and red, and not red and green. He thinks he’s funny.

And, clearly I’m exhausted otherwise I never would’ve fallen for that. “Then please touch me Fredrick.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, raucous laughter escapes him, and he holds his belly as he doubles over and laughs. I groan and dig the heels of my hands into my eyes. I need to wake up. “Out of all the obnoxious murderers out there… “I got the worst of the lot.

“Yep, you got me. Now, let’s stop fucking around shall we? Let’s get to the good stuff!”

“Oh no.” I half groan, half whine in dread and fear. Suddenly, the fact that I fell asleep feels like stupidest move ever- at any time, he might kill me. Its just blind luck that he hasn’t felt like ending the game so far. But he could at any time, including this time.

Freddy disappears again, and I whip around to look for him. My heart starts to beat thunderously in my chest because nothing good has ever occurred when Freddy disappears. I’ve been shot, I’ve been crushed under a stone slab, I’ve been choked with 80’s twisted telephone phone cables- I’ve even been kissed. And every time, I get closer to dying. I lose oxygen, I lose blood, I lose morale. Every time I get hurt, Freddy takes me closer to death then before and I think I’m actually gone this time. He’s bored, I’m not enough anymore, the torture is over.

Which is both a relief and even more horrifying then anything else. Tears cluster in my eyes as time goes by and nothing happens. I just see the boiler room around me, everything tinted red and everything damp and shiny with grease and rust. I don’t want to die.

Suddenly, smoke starts to fill the room. Until I can’t see anything at all except the white in front of me and my hand if I would raise it, but I don’t. I just stay very still, afraid of what’s about to happen. “Fr-Freddy?” I call, weak and disappointing myself. I’m a fucking witch… but that doesn’t really mean much in this world. Not without the spell that I need from the grimoire that’s nowhere to be found. I’m a witch, and I’ve raised to think that means something, means I’m a force to reckoned with, but here I am being reckoned with and I’m useless.

The ground underneath me starts to vibrate, and the smoke slowly starts to clear.

I squint, but I can’t see much through the remaining smoke and the tears shielding my eyes except a bright light.

The vibrating gets worse, and I look down and notice that the smoke has cleared enough at the point to see what beneath my feet, and the realisation of what’s there makes fear swarm throughout every crevice of my being. Mind, body and soul.

Train tracks.

My head snaps up again to see the light, a train, barrelling closer and closer to me. It’s so loud now that I’ve realised, I’m about get his by a fucking steam train, that my ears pop and protest to the pain of it all. The train gets closer and there’s Freddy. The fucker. Wearing a conductor’s uniform and hanging out the side of the driver’s compartment. He grins and waives.

I try to use rational sense and move out of the way, but rope shoots out of the earth between the tracks and twists tightly over my shoes. I try to wrench my feet out of my shoes, panicking now as the train tracks are practically jumping, but the ripe starts to climb… higher and higher up and around my legs and my hip and my arms, until I can’t move at all. It’s so tight I can’t barely even breath- not that I’ll need to for much longer.

I brace myself, and squeeze my eyes shut against the now blinding, all-encompassing brightness of the trains light. And then the train hits-

“FOUND IT!”

I’m wrenched suddenly, and violently from my sleep on the counter and straighten up so vigorously that I nearly slip right off the bar stool. There’s drool on the bench from my sleep, my cheek feels stiff from resting on it for a while, and whip around to look at Bernard who’s standing beside me now with the leather bound, yellow paged book that he’s found. I snatch it from his fingers, dropping it on the bench and start frantically looking through it, eyes still filled with tears and now they start falling. I slap a hand over my mouth, stifling the heavy sob that racks my back and shoulders and mouth from the shock and horror of what just nearly happened. I can still see fuzzy blue dots in my vision from the light, and my nose tingles because the train just touched. It smelled like smoke and coal and that’s still in my nose. Theirs white scrapes on my wrists from the rough rope.

“Y/N,” Bernard touches my arm and I don’t push him off, but I don’t respond, either. I barely notice him, too preoccupied with looking for the right spell. I need this to be over, that can’t happen to me again! I’m not brave enough for it. Another terrible sob forces its way from my chest and I feel half like curling into my cousins chest and crying my heart out and half like killing that bastard Freddy. Wrenching his entire nasty existence from unwritten history and tearing it so it will never be salvaged again.

The second half wins, as I go back through the book backwards, and this time find the spell. “Ow-Okay.”

“Y/N, take a moment- “

“No,” I snap. I nearly got h i t, by a t r a i n. A monstrous thing the same colour as Freddy’s blades. Bernard can’t understand that, but I sure as fuck can. Stammering, but sure, I start to recite the incantation under my breath. Slowly it gets louder, as words start to become harder to say and I need concentrate more. Latin mixes together into one big word, and its har don the best of days but when there’s expression magic involved, it takes an army. More.

And I am that, right now.

Bernard looks around as wind, not coming from an open door or window, starts picking up in this room and rushes to shut the curtains and block the rest of the world from seeing in. Napkins go flying, then the chairs topple over, and then finally the wind is so strong that coffee maker rips from the wall and smashes into the glass sweets case.

I don’t see it, because I’m still following the words in the book, but I hear it. But only just, over the terrible wind screaming through my ears. Finally, the spell reaches its peak and the air in front of Bernard and me, who has gotten back to where I am, opens up. Like someone took a knife and tore literally through the fabric of space and time and magic, revealing the familiar boiler room.

The words start to speak on their own. Whispering in the wind and my lips don’t even have to move, so I let Bernard take the book. Its all so chaotic, I don’t know how I know what to do. But I reach forward and just, lightly touch the hole and its like the magic knows exactly what I want.

Dirty dust, like what Freddy turns into when you bring out of a piece of him from the dream world that I’ve been vacuuming for the past weeks appears, connects together into the shape of a man and then twists together slowly, disturbingly like vines until it isn’t dust and vines anymore. Its burnt flesh and knitted, red and green cotton.

And he looks mad. “You bitch.” Is all he manages to say, but it’s got so much hatred and fury in it that I nearly get scared. I feel it creeped into my bones and organ in my chest.

But then I remember. This is my world.

And I don’t want him in it. “Get out.” I spit, and just like the world seems to crash. Eliminating an existence -anything. Much less a person, - is a lot of work and a big deal. It shouldn’t be possible at all, and I believe that. But I believe it like some who believe murder shouldn’t be possible.

But it is and sometimes it happens, in dire situations.

It feels like I’m being torn on the inside, and scraped clean on the outside- punishment, for doing such a thing. Something to make the world balanced for this.

And Freddy warps like The Scream or a computer glitch. Half of him gong up and the other half going down. Its horrifying sight and I’m in so much pain, but I make my eyes stay open.

And then everything goes black.

___TIME SKIP: A Week___

The whole week has gone by like dream. Not a Freddy dream. Not even a happy dream. Just, like its unreal. I don’t feel much, except a slow, soft blankness like when you’re totally out of it in class after a really, really bad day.

Its not particularly a bad feeling, not compared to the horrors I endured before. Its just like I need to rest, after I used so much power, and feeling so much in general.

Oh, and I have. I’ve been sleeping all the time. Day and night. It’s been uninterrupted and nearly… empty, feeling. Bizarly, I’m well aware now when I’m asleep that I’m dreaming. I’m lucid. Like when Freddy would be there, but without him. Its not exactly restful, but still. It’s better than the nightmares.

Right now, I’m going to sleep. Feeling tiredness expand and unconsciousness take over.

Immediately, I nearly jolt right awake again from fear. Nearly. But his hand grips onto my arm before I can.

Freddy’s right in front of me, smiling sharp like a much madder, pissed off the Cheshire cat. “Heya again sweetheart.” His voice sounds too real. His touch feels to real. This cant be- “It took a fucking lot. Pulled a few strings, don’t know how. Don’t ask. But I’m back. Don’t worry though, I’m not about to kill you. That was a real neat trick you pulled… “I jump, and whimper when the a blade on his glove touches my cheek, and he leans much closer.

“So, we have a lot to talk about.”

You didn’t think you could rid of this Slasher, did you?

[roseamongroses]

Antithesis: “what do you have? “ I have a kNIFE” “NO”

[Specific-Summary]: They should expect growing pains. For not everything to feel right or make sense. That doesn't mean it'll always hurt, nor does it mean they can't have fun along the way. It's senior year. Everything may be different. It won't be senior year for long. Everything will be okay.

[General Warnings]: Implied Emotional Abuse, Implied Physical Abuse, Bad Parents are Bad Parents, Mild Sexual Content/jokes,Mentioned Homophobia, Mentions of underage drinking (backround), Some Catcalling,Cursing , Self Hate,implied pregnancy talk/inability to become pregnant, adults arguing where the “kid” can hear it, adults drinking,

[Tags/mood:] highschool au,  fluff and angst but its all good, chat fic, teen stress, its flordia no snow we die like men [Pairing:] Roceit (Roman Sanders/ Deceit Sanders), hinted future/possible logince/roloceit/loceit [Characters]Roman Sanders/Deceit (Dmitri) Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy (Sleep) Sanders, Nate Sanders, Dragon Witch (Diana) Remus “The Duke” Sanders (minor/brief)

(Ao3) (Previously)

(8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15)

(16) (17) (18) 

L: I May Have Lost Roman

V: nice

P: not nice :)

V: i feel vaguely threatened

Rem:@L how the fuck did you manage that Rem: nvm i know how just give me details

L:I don’t know ? One second we were at check out L: Next minute he was Gone and Nieve is looking suspicious

L:Hold on lemme ask Dmitri

V: why is he there

L: I mean he’s actually pretty chill L: But he dropped Roman off and Nieve got attached L:I’m...not sure if she’s planning on letting him go?

V:logan, my friend, my buddy, V:the only person in this chat with basic reading comprehension

Rem: that’s pretty fair

P: it really is tbh

V: Send. Pictures.

L: Okay L: Slight Issue

V: you lost the snake too

L: I lost Dmitri too and Nieve is not spilling

Rem: oh they’re defeinately fucking

L:...Where? The bathroom?

Rem: Don’t knock it till you try it ;)

V: not to be that guy but im vetoing this discussion V: cause thats a Yikes even for you Remy

L: Alright time to find them

Rem: check ;))) the;))) bathrooms ;;))))

L: Remy.

Rem: alrighlright too far ill stop

L: Thank you.

V: keep me updated V: i only have silence and physics homework as company

L:Huh L:Found them

L: Roman….found a katanna…

V: im sorry WHAT V: Why The Fuck Does He Have A Sword

Rem: drop the location of that store man

L: 1) It’s a Katanna L: 2)I will certainly Not. L: 3) He’s trying to convince Dmitri why he should have it

L…..and Dmitri looks more amused then concerned

V: if I can't have a tarantula he sure as hell cant have a sword

L:I told him it was probably fake/ poorly made and that he should take the time to invest the proper skill in money in a real one

V: goddamit logan you cant logic roman.

L: It worked. He put it back. L: So I say I can do what I want with roman

Rem: some spicy takes from the chats only brain cell ;)

---

“So you’re turning eighteen, in a few months. ” His aunt said, dabbing her cheeks with a napkin. She still managed to hold an air of prestige despite getting utterly shitfaced the night before. Her appointments have been going well.

Dmitri looked up, masking his surprise and holding his tongue.

Dr. Montag looked over, quieting the running water and placing the dish was he was cleaning down, “Really?” he said, brushing his hands, “You got any plans?” he asked, Dmitri.

“Oh we usually do something small,” His aunt interjected, “But seeing as he’s my father’s favorite grandchild,” Only grandchild, “He’s is flying from Paris to join us. And he was never a man of modesty so I’ve been thinking about doing something special for the occasion.”

Oh.

Dmitri fought the smile creeping on his face, ducking his head. He shouldn’t be surprised that she remembered after all if his grandfather was visiting. It’s how he got his phone, laptop, his car.

It’s probably why she puts up with him, to begin with. Cause it wasn’t guilt.

“--We should get your hair cut,” She continued, and Dmitri snapped out of his thoughts, “Maybe invite Diana--he’d like her,” she murmured.

“Diana and I a-” He closed his mouth, and his aunt’s eyes shot over.

“You broke up?” She narrowed her eyes, examining her nails, “Huh, makes sense seeing as...” she gestured at him vaguely, “So who have you been sneaking around with?”

“I’m not sneaking around with anyone,” Dmitri said, meeting her gaze. And technically he was right, it’s not sneaking if she just hasn’t been asking. And he’s given up on telling.

Dr. Montag’s eyebrows knitted together confused,” Well that isn’t true,”

Dmitri’s eyes went wide, stomach sinking.

His Aunt’s grin spread, “Oh really?”

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck--

“He’s been helping me out, hon,” Dr. Montag set down a glass of water and pills beside her plate, “You’ve been so stressed lately,” he looked guilty and produced some tickets, “I thought I’d surprise you.”

Her face softened and like that the tension left the room. Those two got to linger in whatever lovey-dovey spell had taken hold of them in the last few months, but Dmitri was still on edge.

She still kept him on edge, but he could get her back. Even the playing field. Anytime he could leave this—Anytime he could flip this switch and put her on edge and make her—

He stopped eating, setting his plate aside.

He felt sick.

---

R:helllloooo R:anyone up R: sigh R: allll by mySELLLLF

L: Roman?

R: the one and lonely yes hello human contact???

L: Are you alright? It’s 3 am why are you still awake?

R: why are YOU up mm????

L: My parents have newborn twins. What’s your excuse?

R: well fuck got me there

R: i was texting dee but he was rlly tired and i stILL can’t sleep

L: Any particular reason?

R: u m

L: Private chat?

R: please

- [TheTruthAboutTheMoon]

TheWalkingMouth: Okay shoot

Cowboy:it's stupid

TheWalkingMouth: I’ll tell you if it's stupid or not just say it

Cowboy: i just….like Cowboy: it's all kinda….hitting me a ll at once and i Really don’t like thinking about it but i cant bottle shit up either like you bastards so i feel like the human equivelent og a washing machine with too much laundry in it

TheWalkingMouth: Then don’t? TheWalkingMouth: Even if it's too ‘stupid’ for me I’m sure Dmitri wouldn’t mind

Cowboy: yeah but i feel like im going to say something shitty to him i Cowboy: like we should talk about it Cowboy: and i will Cowboy: but not now--later when it's not too stressful for either of us

TheWalkingMouth: Why would you say something shitty?

Cowboy: idk id jst get frustrated trying to explain it Cowboy: like hes smart as hell and probbaly get it without me saying anything but like Cowboy: I have neither the patience nor articulation right now to explain like a civil person and he doesnt need me being shitty about it

Cowboy:like,,,,,for example,,,,, if he fucks up in school, he’ll get recommended a tutor and teachers would assume hes doing his best and hes such a sweet and quiet boy

Cowboy: like he is sweet!!but hes a little shit too!! And gets away with it!!! Half those pranks he pulled on virgil, as Iconic as they were he never got in trouble for them!!!

Cowboy: when i fuck up i

Cowboy: god it's stupid

TheWalkingMouth: Might not get a second chance? Yeah I get it.

TheWalkingMouth:Remember when I first transferred here? None of the teachers would take me seriously bc of my accent and if they did, they were afraid of me. I could repeat something another kid said word for word and still be told I had an attitude.

Cowboy: god i remembered that Cowboy: you answered his yes or no questions in a fuckin montone, quiet ass voice and he legit called in the office cause he got scared of a goddamn freshman

Cowboy: But ye when i fuck up Cowboy: im suddenly the lazy ass brown kid who should spend less time corrupting youth with my feminine hips and curls Cowboy: like it's not like a lot of them say it outright but it feels like if im not perfect im fufilling all the stereotypes

TheWalkingMouth: Ah okay, rant away

Cowboy: OK like like like im not like virgil right?? in a lot of ways and it fuckin shows

Cowboy: he’s been planning on going into engineering since sixth grade meanwhile i only got my shit together in highschool

Cowboy: and like now that im here/???what now??? My mother expects me to have my shit together meanwhile im over here freaking the fuck out over whether not it's worth it to even try Cowboy: like yes mother i want to go to an art/or librel arts school that may or may not accept me that we may or may not afford to find a career in who the hell knows because if i have to sit in a healthcare class or a applied mathmatics class like you did i miight actually shank the professor????

Cowboy: that i dread the thought of not trying to explore my options outside of this fucking state but i dread the thought of going bc i cant stand the thought of being away from home but i cant fucking find a reason to stay cause everyone i love is leaving or planning their own life anyway???

Cowboy: like remys gunna fuck off to who knows where regardless of whether or not he has a plans or money, pattons gunna take care of his grandmother whereever the fuck a canada ,moms moving in with tia, virgils already mentally flipping me off ready to fuck nasa , and i only fucking hope dmitri even getss the chance to choose where he goes but hes g o n e and i die from yearning behind a screen like the gay victorian i am , and you….i actually dont know

TheWalkingMouth: Teaching for either biology or physics

Cowboy: huh it fits but what about chemistry??

TheWalkingMouth: Fuck chemistry.

Cowboy: oh thank god we’re on the same page

TheWalkingMouth: Anyway, I assume you’re more worried about whether you should apply rather then if you could get in?

Cowboy: i think so

TheWalkingMouth: Well if my opinion means anything to you

Cowboy: more than you’re assuming but yeah continue

TheWalkinMouth: Wait

Cowboy: nothing nothing continue

TheWalkingMouth: Okay-- I think you should go for it but you don’t need to dive head first into it and commit to everything 100% like virgil did.

TheWalkingMouth: You’re allowed to keep your options open, to have backup plans for back up plans

TheWalkingMouth: It doesn’t mean you’re not passionate about your art. Doesn’t mean you’re inevitably going to get a office job and abandon all your dreams. It means you’re being smart and not backing yourself into a corner

TheWalkingMouth:It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay not to have it all figured out

TheWalkingMouth: Nobody does.

TheWalkingMouth: Even if no one else gives you a second chance at least give yourself a second chance.

TheWalkingMouth: It’s perfectly normal to be afraid to fuck up and get fucked over TheWalkingMouth: That doesn’t mean you will everytime TheWalkingMouth: And it certainly doesn’t mean it's the end

Cowboy:

Cowboy:

Cowboy:

[...Cowboy is typing…]

---

@daflangstlairde

@ace-anx

@cataclysm-al

[lyxxstories]

WiFi

[ You and Jeonghan are waiting for Seungcheol to come back to the dorm so in the meantime you two try to use his wifi ] [ d r a b b l e ]

“How long is he gonna be out for?” You whined as you slumped back on the living room couch.

“Miss him already?” Jeonghan said with a smirk.

“Psh no,” You denied as you get comfy with the pillows to which you earned an eyebrow raise from him. “Okay maybe I wish he’d be back soon.”

“Thought so,”

“Hey can I know the password for the wifi?” You asked, bringing out your phone.

Who knows how long Seungcheol is going to be out for? Might as well surf through the net to kill time.

“Gonna stalk his instagram account again?” Jeonghan replied scooching next to you.

“No...”

“Please, Y/N. You’re not exactly subtle,” Jeonghan says grabbing your phone. “Shall I log in to your S.Coups fan account?”

“Give me that!”

Jeonghan laughs, stretching his arm away from you, “I thought you wanted the password?”

You stuck your tongue out at him, “It’s not a fan account. It’s just... a space... for me to you know... support the leader of Seventeen. Is that too bad?”

“Of course not. No way,” Jeonghan reassures patting your back. “Seungkwan and I follow you and we absolutely love the content.”

Your eyes widen and Jeonghan just laughed at your expression again.

“You did not-‘’

He did.

“Want me to quote the latest tweet?”

You just gave him a glare, “Hurry up and put the password in.”

“Okay okay,” he says typing away. “But I do think he should update his ig too.”

“Jeonghan please!” You exclaimed hitting his annoying face with a pillow. You could already feel your face heating up.

Note to yourself: Start a new stan account.

“Huh.” Jeonghan froze staring at your phone.

“What?”

“That’s weird.”

“What is?” You said taking a look at your phone. “You dont know your own wifi password?”

Jeonghan hands it back to you, “It’s Seungcheol’s wifi. And it seems that I actually don’t.”

You looked at his confused expression. Seemingly, the angel questions himself on not knowing.

“But why?”

Jeonghan just shrugs, “He bought it for his gaming stuff. Something about needing fast internet- I dont know.”

“Well that’s great,” You sighed, letting yourself fall back on the couch again. “What am I supposed to do now?”

Jeonghan shakes his head, still in thought. He was sure he got the password right considering he’s been mooching off Seungcheol’s wifi for a few weeks now.

The leader probably found out and changed it again. The dedication he and Wonwoo have with online games, he’ll never know.

“Wonwoo-yah!” Jeonghan shouts across the room.

“What?” Wonwoo answers just as loud.

“What’s the wifi password?” Jeonghan asks when the younger walked over. “Y/N wants to use it.”

“No way,” Wonwoo immediately denied. “Sorry, Y/N. The wifi is for gaming purposes only.”

“You dont know either huh?” You replied knowingly.

“Not a clue,” Wonwoo sighs before sitting next to you. “He wanted to focus on working out one day and decided that he’ll only tell me the password if I agreed to be his gym partner.”

“Well that sucks,” you pouted. “I can’t just sit here without internet. Who knows what’s happening right now?”

“Well we could always guess,” Jeonghan says stealing your phone again.

“I swear to God if you’re doing this just so you can snoop on my account-‘’

Jeonghan put a hand on his chest, feigning hurt, “Why I just dont want you to be bored, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes at him. You could practically see the devil horns growing from his blonde hair.

“Oh hyung, you still havent sent me Y/N’s fan account,” Wonwoo reminded causing you to gasp.

“You told him too?!”

“Don’t act so surprised,” was all the devil angel said as he guesses another password.

“You have nothing to worry about,” Wonwoo told you. “We wont tell your little crush on our leader.”

“I trust you but not him,” you said pertaining to Jeonghan, who btw has been getting slightly frustrated as all his guesses turned out to be incorrect.

“Ugh. Why did he have to change it? Cant we all just share the wifi?” Jeonghan says giving up.

“Let me try,” Wonwoo says asking for the phone. “He might have used an avatar name for a password.”

Several attempts later...

“Screw it,” Wonwoo throws your phone back. “I’m buying my own wifi and play.”

“So much for trying to kill time,” you sighed and frowned at the situation.

Just then an idea popped into Jeonghan’s mind.

“Y/N, try this,” Jeonghan then started to whisper a bunch of letters as you typed away on your phone.

“Wait a minute...” you paused for a second. “You’re just spelling my name!”

“So?” A smirk grows on Jeonghan’s lips.

“You’re not actually suggesting that-‘’

“Worth a shot,” he simply replied, smile growing.

You looked at him incredulously. There’s absolutely no way.

“Why would I be his wifi password?”

“Why not?” Wonwoo joined in. “He probably thought of you as he was changing it.”

Thought of you? But why? What does that suppose to mean?

“We’re just trying out possible passwords here, Y/N.” Jeonghan spoke again. “It’s not like it would mean something. Not unless you want it to.”

There he goes again. With that smug of a look.

“Why dont we go for your name then?”

“Oh sure. But right after yours.”

It’s strange to you how confident suddenly Jeonghan seems to be. And thats probably because he noticed that you’re not the only one who’s being obvious when it comes to a crush. Someone was especially excited today when he found out you were visiting.

“If it makes you feel better, we could try my name too.” Wonwoo said having the same teasing smirk on his face.

Jeonghan wasnt alone on noticing it either and they both knew as they exchanged looks.

“Fine,” you finally pressed enter. Both of the boys leaning closer to see the phone screen. “But I’m telling you guys, it’s not going to-‘’

“Well would you look at that,” Jeonghan chuckles.

It connected.

“I’m going to get my laptop,” Wonwoo says standing up. “Finally, I can try out the new game I bought.”

A few minutes later, Seungcheol finally got back and was welcomed with his three friends chilling at the living room and on their devices.

“I brought food,” Seungcheol called out as he places the plastic bag on the kitchen counter.

“Thanks,” Jeonghan got up and head towards the counter to take a peek of the snacks. “You were out for awhile.”

“Well when I heard Y/N was coming over, I went to get food from her favorite restaurant,” Seungcheol informed. “And you guys know how far that is.”

“Oh we do,” Jeonghan smirks as he shot you a knowing glance. You blushed and tried to hide your face with your phone.

“Yes!” Wonwoo exclaimed, a proud smile on his lips.

“What’s he so happy about?” Seungcheol asks, walking closer to them.

“He’s just having a winning streak,” Jeonghan answered.

“Yep,” Wonwoo acknowledged finally looking up from his laptop. “Wifi has a great connection. Thanks for buying this, hyung.”

“Wait...” Seungcheol took a look at his device and he really was playing.

How did he get in?

“Yah! Did you hack your way in?” Seungcheol crossed his arms.

“No,” Wonwoo snickers. “I’m not that intelligent. I just simply entered the password.”

“Enter the pass-? Jeonghan!” The angel was just smiling innocently. “Did you tell him?!”

“Only you know the password to your own wifi, Seungcheol.” Jeonghan said as a matter of a fact.

“Yeah but you’re the only one who’s been trying to mooch off my wifi for the past weeks.” Seungcheol huffed, feeling slightly irritated. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you tried to enter again.”

“As much as I’d love to take credit,” Jeonghan says. “But it wasn’t me who entered the password.”

“Then who did?”

Jeonghan just now used his eyes to tell him the answer. As Seungcheol followed his gaze, he felt his heart race when he saw you sitting on the couch, phone in hand, and scrolling through social media.

You were seriously trying to keep yourself from turning red the minute his eyes landed on you.

“Y-you got the password right?” Seungcheol stammered as he clarified.

“More like she’s the password,” Wonwoo teased quietly.

“Well sort of...” You coughed awkwardly. “Sorry.. I got bored while waiting for you so we all started to guess.”

Cue Kill Bill sirens because Seungcheol is now internally panicking.

“S-so you know?” Seungcheol clarified and you nodded slowly.

“I know,” you answered, biting your lip.

“Yep and everyone in the group chat knows too,” Jeonghan added which earned him a glare from the leader. “What? We should all share the wifi, dont you think?”

“Th-that’s f-fine,” Seungcheol tried to laugh it off, doing his best not to snap at Jeonghan. Two of the svt members were trying to retain their laughter as their leader struggled to speak. “Hahahahaha as long as you weren’t bored while I was gone, Y/N. Hahahahaha.”

“Seungcheol I-‘’

“C-could you excuse me for a second? I need to take a breather.”

And with that Seungcheol dashed to his bedroom, determined to not let his cool wash away in front of you.

“Well that was entertaining,” Jeonghan stated, the lopsided smile never leaving his face. “So are you gonna tell him about your fan account or...?”

[lodestarslagoon]

AHS Apocalypse 8x03 Live Stream

SPOILERS UNDER CUT

Oh I thought the opening scene looked like the Dinah, Coco, Mallory descencum. Damn Michael...

Night Vision of the soul? Tell me about your powers!

Lol, spoiler, entitled, helpless. 

OMG COCO! Fire Mallory lol

“Something Dark”

DAMN CALL HER SHALLOW!

Og again? He knows Dinah?

SHE’S NOT POWERFUL ENOUGH?!

DINAH IS A WITCH!

MICHAEL CONFIRMED IT!

Ish

Dinah is in the sanctuary!

Evil soul?

Oh nvm, it’s Andre.

Unless Dinah is Andre’s son...?

God this is one opening scene of mind fuckery.

I want Dinah to use some powers

Mallory’s made for that world?

Mallory should want to leave.

Ew what an ugly close up to Michael.

Oh Mallory has a darkness..... Unfun.

MALLORY PUSHED HIM BACK

MALLORY IS A WITCH!

OMG MALLORY PYROKINESISED MICHAEL!

That’s right Mallory! Call his ass right back out!!!!

OMG MY THEORY THAT DINAH MALLORY AND COCO R WITCHES ARE RIGHT!!!

THEY DID DESCECUM WHEN THE OTHER 3 WALK IN!

BEST OPENING SCENE IN AHS HISTORY!!!

I swear the opening theme has been changing scenes every week.

ITS COMMERCIALS AND I AM SCREAMING IN EXCITMENT STILL THAT MALLORY, BILLIE LOURD, AND DINAH, SAME NAME AS BLACK CANARY, ARE WITCHES!!!

I still wonder if Coco’s a witch based on set pics Ryan Murphy released.

I am so excited to find out how Dinah knows Michael.

Adina Porter came out and said the scripts made her mind twist and turn, and well I hope it’s true cause it’ll be interesting to see a strong black witch since Angela Basset is too busy with 911 to come back as Marie.

Omg Michael’s doing a spell, ritual.

I wonder if it’s Tate father of devil father.

OHHHH It’s a scrying!!!

He thought he destroyed them all?

Michael did the witches?!

HE DESTROYED WHO? THE WITCHES?!

I cant with this fucking shit. Omg Witches need to ocme and take hsi ass back.

Boiling blood is actually kind of a cool effect.

Am I the only one whos still scare dof Michael’s demon face that happened earlier?

Oh yay the snakes are still around.

Ave Satanis... “Awaken Satan” right?

Kathy Bate’s voice is so distinct.

Her own self made costume is adorable.

The tricker treatgiver is a famous actress I remember her from places.

Wasn’t Kathy Bates in Rosemary’s baby?

Go Young Kathy Bates! Slap him.

Oh shit, she’s a good fighter!

Oh she’s an agent. This makes sense.

Can we have Kathy Bates in Spy 2? 

Can someone inform Melissa McCarthy and 50 Cent Piece to get Kathy in on this?

Oh everything happened on Halloween in Kathy Bates’ life. Nice.

Okay as nice as robot Kathy Bates’ life story is, can we get back to the witches?

I still swear Mallory and Coco are connected because they’re witchy powers keep them together.

I am so validated by this knowledge they were witches.

Awww Venable showing support for Kathy Bates is actually touching.

Omg Venable being so adamant on Michael is very interesting.

“That’s Outrageous”

“If you die here, Justice dies here” Really? you’re the sadists here!

“Kill everyone!” Jeez Kathy, these methods are nice.

“ You’re mean and self invovled enough to survive anything, and I’m a robot”

Oh is this guy the Coco husband who screams “You bitch?”

Someone saw a leaked pic that he appears again I think.

I was a finalist on top chef omg hahahhaa

Omg, he is very good “tracking” her for a year.

No one sees the figure approaching behind him?

I wonder where this guy got the gun.

Wait I guess we know officially that the apocalypse did actually happen.

How come these people can breath fine without pain like the people Michael claims he saw.

mother with kids^

OMG ANOTHER WITCH BREACH?!

STEP FORTH WITCHES PLEASE!!!!!

MADISON I INVOKE THEE!!!

They teleported in already I bet.

Ugh.... Why can’t we just reveal the witches already.

Anyone have any guesses where Michael did the ritual? I am very curious? How do people not notice things that happen in this place?

Apples... cause they’re fucking for Adam and Eve aka UCLA and Jail Girl

lol a nurtition blog!

Oh Venable happy enough to try the red delicious.

Vine providence? Wtf Kathy Bates....

Before they die? Don’t you just kill them anyways?

“Not a bad apple in the bunch?” Is that symbolism for they all deserve to go to the sancutary?

WHERE ARE THE WITCHES?

I could honestly care less about Coco’s husbando bf guy.

How can he breath the air and not the guy in the mask?

This Nuclear fallout is making less and less sense to me.

Less sense than where are the witches of all things.

I ownder how Coco will react ot seeing him.

MALLORY STARE AT THE FIRE AND INVOKE THINGS PLEASE!

Oh another Gray got a speaking line.

God I have a lot of thoughts tonight.

Celebration and Comradery?

Wait the only saved Asian is a Gray....

Victorian Masquerade Ball.... @holypancakes is about to blow it!

What are they going to be able to make in this bunker.

Omg Coco, and Gay Evan Peters destroying Mallory is so relatable and sad.

Omg Stew!!! I love how they love Stew.

“I don’t wanna rub it in for the ones who don’t get picked” lol

“No offense Mallory” BAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAJA

These 1v1′s is hilarious.

OMG WHY THE FACE AGAIN :’(

Oh Mallory’s coming out of the broom closet!

Oh they’re laughing at him.

NO MALLORY ITS NOT THE BLAST!

OMG DARK PHEONIX! Shit thats so meta, with Quicksilver right there lol.

Coco commanding shit. 

I know she probably won’t but pleas Mallory do something.

This is such a Cinderella point.

Shit Coco is kind of getting a little far right now.

She totally had a point with Evie’s room.

OH IS THIS WHEN MADISON APPEARS IN THE BEAK MASK TO DINAH OR WHOEVER IN THE TRAILER?!

I know it’s not confirmed but we all know that mask was the same Madison wore for to scare Zoe in Bitchcraft.

LOL “Sweet horses”

Lol Mallory has to introduce her.

LOL THAT BOO

FX WTF DON’T U FUCK UP THE PICTURE AUDIO NOW!

Oh shit Venable knows the Ghosts situation.

I mean if it’s been 18 months, this has happened before.

I wonder how many monologes Sarah Paulson has this season.

WHAT MUSIC WILL PLAY I WONDER?!

No idea what this symbolizes honestly.

Oh UCLA’s wire crown is actually creative.

OMG THE FOG IS ROLLING IN WHICH MEANS THE WITCHES CAN COME!

Madison is not that tall, so idk who that could be.

Mr. Langdon doesn’t seem that tall either.

Is Coco dying? Damn....

I still pray it’s Madison, but still.

Wait Coco got into Harvard?

I hope it’s like by real merit. Not money.

BITCH YOU WERE TRYING TO BE AN INFLUENCER U NEVER MADE IT!

Analingus omg Coco.

Coco’s about to die sigh.

Coco can you not....

Short tongue and sensitive gag reflex. sigh this show.

Oh shit Brock I forgot he was around lol.

HOW DARE SHE INVOKE SUSHI!

Brock doesn’t look happy.

NOOOOOO COCO!!!!!!!!

SOMEONE VITAL VITALUS HER!

WHERE IS MISTY?!

BRING COCO BACK!!!!

COCO WAS SEEN IN OTHER SET PARTS AND SHIT!

Lol festivities and your gun. Bitch, has no clue who Michael is.

So many snakes.

I wonder how bored they must be that this si so thirlling for them.

I wonder how many times these peopl have bobbed for apples. I think it’s harder than this I think.

I also think it’s weird UCLA and Jail Girl are so calm right now about all this. They were about to be murdered last week. I don’t knwo how I could deal with these people.

I wonder how bad this mass suicide will end up.

Oh Gay Evan Peters sis howing signs.

Mallory might be immune?

Oh nvm she threw up.

Oh UVLA had blood on Jail Girl ew.

Gay Evan Peters looked so fake.

I wonder what it’s like to act this scene.

Okay so where is Misty to bring everyone back?

Literally we know Misty is in the first 5 episodes since the trailer promos only filmed the first 5 episodes at time they made it. I thought she’d be in later.

Misty being team Michael would make so much sense based on what we just saw. 

“Oh Venable you think you killed everyone? HA! Watch this,” Michael shows Misty who dances around and brings everyone back.

“And here’s the trick” hahahaha

I’m still waiting for Michael to bring Misty in.

I wonder when they’re going to realize Coco’s like head stabbed.

Oh shit he’s just open about the laptop being there lol.

I think this is funny, let alone Michael.

Oh shit, she passed the test!

I wouldn’t do that either.

NO SCARY FACT IS COMING BACK :’(

Oh wait she’s on his side duh #HailSatan

OH SHIT!!! CONCILUM!!!!

BE THAT WARLOCK MICHAEL!

I know why she did it.

Michael’s monologe right now is so confusing.

Not what he’s saying, but how interested I am.

Where is the witches?

Someone from his childhood?!

The Beautiful Boy? I’m still confused by this.

Okay so this song is so calming over these corpses and bile.

Brock is around doing what right now?

OH SONG CHANGE?!

THERE IS A HOUSE IN NEW ORLEANS?!

Oh no, it might not be?

OMG THEY’RE COMING!

THEY’RE HERE!

OMG I BET THEY ARE!!!!

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

THEY’RE IN MY EYE SIGHT!

I SEE THEM!!!

I’M DYING!!!!

I AM CANARY CRYING ALL OVER THE PLACE RIGHT NOW!!!!

OMG MY EYES MY HEART MY LIFE!

I CAN’T HANDLE THIS OMG YASSS BRING THEM BACK!

BRING BACK MALLORY AND CO!

FIND OUR SISTERS YES!!!!!!

I KNEW IT COCO IS A SISTER!

YASSSS RESURGENCE! 

Madison looked happy to see them back.

OMG YES MADISON KNEW! SHE GOT THE LAST LINE!

AHHHHH SHE GOT THE LAST LINE!!!!

i am so happy!!!!!

[tinakegg]

Cupcakes

Hi! long time no fic from me, like in a year eek! lol  So this was inspired a little bit by a really good fic i read by @finn-nelson-for-the-win , also check out her fic she’s writing its very good. I was shooting for a nice cutie little fluffy Rinn fic to slowly get back into writing but instead it became a full on smutty Rinn fic I blame it on the horny dickheads and not the fact that my mind is just permanently in the gutter lol so anyway enjoy. :) tagging for smut. wc is 2,833

I’m tagging some lovely emus that have asked to be on my forever tag list. Please let me know if you want on or off (you won’t hurt my feelings if you do) the list or if you want me to tag you for one particular story, thanks!

@anitavalija @audisodd @areyousad8118 @absolutelynotnico @annemarieted @blue--green @bitchy-broken @be-strong-fearless @bitchesbecrazy89 @borntosik @celestev31 @crystalgiddings1993 @cant-getno-sleep  @ducky17 @eighty-sixcharlie @emmatationsforall @eveerez @facephase @fantasticab @fizzezlikecherrycola @fuck-sewing-machine  @girl-looking-out-window @huffee-hugsandcoffee @hey1tskat1e @inneedofamoralcompass @i-dream-of-emus @iliy-pop-2  @isthistherightwayround  @kristicallahan @kneekeyta @llexis @lau-vm @lilaviolet @lovinglifeandlivinglove @liliam4066 @luly310 @i88cym @mariamirallegro @milllott @milymargot @mirandasmadeofstone @mmfdftw @mmfdfanfic @montyclifts @nenita1978 @nutinanutshell @parisgirly93 @protectfinnnelson @rafaellabnery @rhi3915 @redprairielily @raeonashadowcaster @she-was-a-street-smart-girl @stinemarine @scumothaearff @voodoomarie @whokicksass @you-are-world-class-i-mean-that   

“It was the sweetness of your skin, it was the hope of all we might have been, that fills me with the hope to wish impossible things” Rae sings along with Robert Smiths haunting voice dancing around the kitchen bare footed in a white vest top and one of Finn’s boxers. Needing a break from working on her article about the latest indie bands of the London scene for her music blog she decided to bake over doing the laundry, not exactly one of her favorite chores to do. She preheats the oven to the temperature needed than starts to gather all the ingredients and baking pans for making chocolate strawberry cupcakes.

“That was To Wish Impossible Things by the Cure and before that it was She Bangs the Drums by the Smiths. Up next I’ve got Elastica, Arctic Monkeys, Paramore and more indie songs form the 70’s, 80’s,90’s and now on No Crap FM Radio,” A smile played across Rae’s lips at Finn’s voice coming over the radio as she mixed her wet ingredients into her dry. After portioning out the batter in the pans and popping those in the oven Rae went to work making her chocolate icing. Once it was done she took a moment to check on the cupcakes before starting in on the cleaning and swaying her hips to the music playing in the background.“Well folks that will do it for us. This is Finn Nelson saying to be continued till next time.”

Rae dries her hands after washing the last dish than goes over to the radio turning it off not really caring for the next DJ coming on after Finn and headed for the record player to put on a Bowie album. She starts to smell the cupcakes wafting into the lounge from the kitchen. Rae checks on them pulling the pan out after checking for doneness, satisfied they were she headed back to her laptop. Some time went by when she heard keys rattling in the door and Finn walking in humming a tune whilst putting his things on the hall table of their modest London flat.

“Hey love! I’m home,” Finn sucks in his bottom lip as he watches Rae get up from the desk where her laptop rests. He can’t help but let his eyes glide up and down her curvy figure moving languidly over to him. “Have ya been baking?” Rae kissed his cheek in welcome before heading into the kitchen with Finn following after.

“Yeah I needed a break from the article I’m working on and decide on making my famous chocolate strawberry cupcakes.” Rae glanced at Finn as she started in on icing the now cooled baked goods.

“Mhmm, my favorite kind.” Finn walked behind Rae putting his arms around her waist pulling her closer to him and resting his chin on her shoulder giving her a kiss on her neck. Rae giggled putting down the iced cupcake and intertwined her arms and hands with Finn’s over her stomach leaning into him. He gave her a squeeze proud of how far she had come in her self acceptance remembering a time when Rae would tense up at just the slightest brush of her stomach; now she craves to be touched all over by him.      

“I know that’s why I made them. You had a good show tonight by the way; ya definitely played some of my favorites.”

“I know I was thinking about ya when I played ‘em.” Finn smirked before kissing the crook of her neck making Rae take a breathy sigh. Finn turns Rae around putting her arms around his neck, Rae naturally resting her head on his shoulder, than wraps his arms around her and starts dancing with her as Bowie gently sings in the background.

“Ya know as much as I love this Finnly, its not getting these cupcakes iced.” Rae kissed Finn on the cheek before she removed his arms from around her giving his hands a genital squeeze than turning back to what she had been doing.

“Oi! I was having fun, now!” Finn put on a mock look of hurt than huffed out a laugh giving Rae a peck on the cheek, Rae playfully nudged him on the hip. “I’ll go put on tea. Any requests?”  

“I’ve been having a craving for spaghetti and your homemade garlic bread.”

“As you wish girl.” Finn turned on the electric kettle for tea and started in on making their meal. Forty minutes latter they were sitting at the small well warn table by the small window of their kitchen, the cupcakes all iced and enjoying their meal. They talked about their day, argued over a few songs and made plans for the weekend. After they were finished, dishes were gathered up and put in the sink.

“That was one of your best meals, Finn,” Rae gave an appreciative look to him as she washed one of the plates, Finn gave her a crooked smile whilst rinsing and drying one of the cooking pots and putting it in the dish rack to dry. “Although I bet you’re ready for dessert. You have been eyeing them all evening” Rae nodded her head over to the plate of cupcakes  

“Why thank you m’dear. And actually I wasn’t eyeing them all evening,” Rae raised her right eyebrow scrunching her lips to the side not believing him. “’cause you see I’m in the mood for a different kind of dessert.” Finn purposefully let his eyes wander over Rae’s body with a lust filled grin on his face; Rae felt heat on her cheeks and a shiver run down her back.

“Oh really? And what would that be?” Rae bit her bottom lip knowing how much it turned Finn on; he stepped closer into her personal space leaning his head ever closer till his mouth was close to Rae’s ear. His hot breath made breathing suddenly very difficult.

“You should know already,” Finn teasingly nibbled on her earlobe making Rae squirm in a delicious way and flutter her eyes closed. “You. Girl,” With that Rae starts to unbuckle Finn’s belt and working her way to undo his jeans as a pleasured sigh left her lips from his kisses on her neck. Finn raised his arms in the air to let Rae pull his t-shirt off him leaving him half naked and the shirt on the ground. He instantly cupped her face and captures her bottom lip between his own, Rae moans letting her lips open in invitation for Finn to deepen their kiss. Rae pushes his loosened jeans down around his hips and arse till they fall down around his ankles, Finn without breaking their kiss steps out of them. Soon Rae finds herself pushed up against the counter with Finn tilting his hips into her, she feels his want for her as she runs her hands up his muscular back with Finn letting out an appreciative groan. Soon Rae finds her vest top on the floor and Finn’s boxers she wore being pulled off her by him. “Have I ever told you how fucking sexy you look in me boxers.” Finn asks in-between kissing down her neck, collarbone, and finally to the top of her left breast.

“Um once or …Mmmmm yesss…uh twice.” Rae found it hard to answer as Finn kissed and sucked on her nipple whilst his thumb brushed across her hardened nipple of her other breast. Rae slides her hands down his back and under the elastic of his boxers digging in her fingers into his arsecheeks pulling him closer to her, something that drives Finn wild, before pulling them down leaving them both naked. Suddenly in one fell swoop Finn slid his hands down the sides of Rae’s waist, hips ,and finally around to the back of her arsecheeks and lifted her up on the counter, his strength as ever always surprising her, Rae couldn’t help rub her hands over his very strong muscular arms. She felt herself getting wetter with the anticipation of thing to come. Finn was back to kissing her plump lips his hands lazily roaming over her curvaceous body, one hand along the way bumped the bowl that the rest of the chocolate icing lay in. Finn broke the kiss with Rae looking at him in confusion at why he stopped hoping that she didn’t do something wrong. He grabbed the glass bowl and dipped his finger in the icing with a smirk on his face as he starts smearing it on Rae spelling out a word.      

“FINNN! What are ya doin’?” Rae giggled as Finn continued to spell BEAUTIFUL with the icing across Rae’s ample chest causing her to gasp when Finn brushed her nipple along the way. He looked into Rae’s eyes with a mix of mischief and lust in them whilst licking some of the chocolate off his finger making Rae lick her bottom lip.

“What does it look like, I’m icing me dessert of course,” Finn winked before stealing a kiss. “My little Cupcake.” Rae scrunched up nose shaking her head in disapproval.

“Oh that was so bad. Please don’t ever call me that again.” Finn nodded in agreement as he rubbed at the back of his neck a grimaced look on his face.  

“Yeah it felt wrong the moment it left my lips.” Finn huffed out a laugh shaking his head at himself. Rae smiled and leaned forward close to his lips as her finger slowly ran down his well muscled and defined chest to his fine hairs on his lower stomach.

“I didn’t tell ya to stop. I want to see where this goes,” Rae leaned close to his ear making Finn hitch his breath as her lips grazed the lobe of his ear. “Although I have a pretty good idea.” She whispered making the tiny hairs on the back of his neck stand up, Finn could never get enough of how his girl did his head in, in the most amazing ways. The corner of his mouth curled up and his bushy eyebrows rose as he dipped his finger into the leftover icing and continued to write SEXY on her stomach causing her to giggle when he touched a particularly ticklish spot. He wrote STRONG on one of her thighs and BRILLIANT on the other than slid the bowl to the side before pushing some of her hair behind her ear, cupping her face and heatedly kissed her. He moved down her neck as Rae let out breathy moans and raked her fingers through his hair, Finn kissed along her collarbone till he reached the icing on her chest and with opened mouth kisses started to lick it off her skin. Rae groaned as one hand slid down to his bicep digging her fingers into his flesh as he continued to kiss his way along her chest. He took a few moments to lavish kisses on her breasts before moving his way to kissing her stomach making a little smile appear on Rae’s lips as she watched Finn worship every inch of her. Rae leaned back on her hands as Finn worked on kissing and licking her thighs taking his sweet time, she squirmed in frustration of him so close to where she wanted him to be.

Finn finally kneels in front of Rae as she moves her thighs apart wider for him. Finn looks at her lustily before moving closer and licked up from her entrance to her clit making Rae moan and hitch her breath at the feel of his tongue swirling around her harden nub. “Mmmm yesss Finn right there. Yess…OH GOD YES,” She screams out as Finn starts to suck on her clit and slips two fingers in her very wet entrance. He curls his fingers hitting that spot inside her that made her scream out louder, both of them very thankful for the thick wall of their flat. Finn speeds up than slows his pace wanting to prolong her pleasure and savor her taste that had a mix of her essence and chocolate. “Oh Finn…Finn…I’m sooo close.” Rae couldn’t hold back any longer as she grabbed at the back of Finn’s head pulling him closer to her core and squeezed her thighs together around his head, Finn loving the feeling of her engulfing him. Heat radiated from her core and washed over her as she came undone; Finn kept licking up her juices till Rae pushes him away not being able to take anymore.  He gets up and cups the back of her head with his hand as his free arm embraces Rae pulling her closer to him. Rae surprises him when she closes the gap between them and hungrily kisses him, enjoying her taste on his lips, and wraps her legs around his waist feeling his hardness rub against her very sensitive clit making her groan into their kiss.

Finn lifts her off the counter and carries her to the settee in the lounge and lowers her down on top than rest between her thighs. Finn lifts his head to look at Rae lovingly while playing with her hair as Rae lazily runs her fingers up and down his back.

“Have I told you I love ya today?” Finn said before kissing her neck making Rae lean her back as far as she could to let Finn have more of her neck to kiss.

“No not yet.” Rae moaned out as she moved her hips rubbing herself against Finn’s arousal trying to relive the throbbing want of her core.

“Well I better remedy that,” Finn gave her a soft kiss than looked into her eyes. “I love you Rae.”

“I Love you too Finn. Now shut up and fuck me.” Rae bit her lower lip in a lustful way as Finn reached under her right thigh and pulled it up so her leg was resting on his shoulder.

“As you wish, girl.” Finn than pushed himself deeply into Rae’s warm and very wet entrance making them both gasp at being connected so completely. He starts thrusting slowly as Rae kisses Finn’s neck and digging her finger into his back making him groan out in pleasure. Rae tells him to move faster as she moves her hips to meet every thrust, Finn speeds up feeling himself getting closer. Sweat forms on their bodies as they move faster, Rae starts clenching around Finn feeling herself also getting closer. Soon they find their rhythm that will bring them both to their orgasms.

“Oh Finn I’m coming, I’m coming” Rae screamed as Finn sped up faster.

“Me too Rae” Finn grunted out. Soon they were both screaming out as they both came spectacularly together. After catching their breath Finn gently and slowly guided Rae’s leg off his shoulder and back to his waist.

“That were amazing Finn,” Rae ran her fingers through his hair with a smile on her face enjoying the feel of him on top of her not wanting this moment to end. “Well if this is what’s going to happen every time I make my cupcakes I need to make them more often.” Finn huffed out a laugh as Rae giggled along with him.

“Oh you can count on that,” Finn smirked as he tenderly stroked her cheek. “Now I’m in the mood for cupcakes”

“Well you know where to find them.” Rae replied cheekily before giving Finn a warm smile. He kissed her again quickly before slowing getting up a bit shakily and helped Rae up off the settee. They walked in the kitchen and Finn grabbed a cupcake licking at the icing giving Rae a wink causing her to feel a little heat on her cheeks remembering his use of the icing earlier.

“I’m surprised ya not tired of the icing after getting your fill of it” Rae moved closer to Finn and wrapped her arms around him in a lovingly embrace.

“Nope I love your icing its so fucking good…and fun to play with.�� Finn gave her a goofy grin as he finished off his cupcake.

“Oi! Cheeky,” Rae shook her head whilst trying not to laugh but didn’t quite succeed. “I need to go take a shower I’m a bit sticky, I wonder why.” Rae rolled her eyes playfully before starting to make her way to the shower.

“Ya want company?” Finn raised one of his bushy eyebrows in question as Rae looked over her shoulder giving him a once over with a flirty smile on her face.

“What do you think?” Rae nodded in the direction of the bathroom. “Come on.” with that they both made their way to the shower where they made love again slowly before heading to bed and talking into the night about their weekend plans. It was about three in the morning when they drifted off into a contented sleep. It would be six weeks later they would find out that their love created something even more special than cupcakes.              

[the-long-lost-ebony-blog]

my suicide attempt from kinphobia -- really really long post!!

TW FOR SUICIDE, SUICIDE ATTEMPT, HOSPITAL, FRIEND BETRAYAL, DOCTORS, ABUSE, KINPHOBIA, ANXIETY, SELF HARM , PEDOPHILE MENTION, and MAYBE DOXXING!!! 

well um. remember a while back when i was all super worried about a girl in chem class almost finding out i'm kin? yeah. it happened. it happened like a month ago. so i actually started being friends with her after she'd obvs had a bad day, like she was just sitting in the hall and i felt sorry for her bc she'd been crying. i started talking to her and asked if she was okay, now at that point she had no idea that i might be kin. i hid it really well! until!! she said that kin itself is a mental illness. and i couldn't help myself. i fuckin went off on her. kin isn't a mental illness, not all kin are mentally ill, etc etc. she just froze up and had this look of absolute disgust on her face. i tried to backpedal and say that she was just using the words wrong, and she was insulting mentally ill ppl but noo, she caught on. 

i just sorta made an excuse and left but it turns out that later on, she'd gone onto my facebook which i don't put on here for reasons like this lol. she dug through my timeline and a bunc of old photos and found like... a kin positive graphic from 2009 or something. it was a thing saying that i was "kin and proud" or whatever. (back then i thought i might be therian or otherkin. not fictionkin.)) 

now, i am in college but for summers i go home to live with my parents. that's where i am now. so here's where it gets worse. tw for stuff above. she went onto their facebook pages and got their emails. and she sent them both email as "a concerned friend". she told them that she was friends with me from class, and that i'd been acting weird lately -- like, not myself, low self esteem, spent all my time talking to strange people on tumblr, took 'a certain satire writing' (my source!! ugh) too seriously, and was really disconnected from reality. 

okay so the deal with my parents: they really are supportive of gender stuff (even though i'm a cis girl and was cis in canon) and different sexualities, and disabilities. they are also anti trump and want free health care and wish we did not start shit with russia. like they are not bad people. but in the past , i'd started to ask them for advice on if i was kin.  i had to explain what kin was. and they were p much horrified that this exists. they think that it "locks people into fiction and imagined reality" and "stunts their phsyclogical (not sure how to spell) development" and "teaches suffering kids to use escapism instead of therapy or self help". basically they are super ableist when it comes to kin. and they think it's ridiculous that it's actual community. stupid me, i'd literally said (before they said all that) that "i think i'm an otherkin, i feel uncomfortable as i am right now". so i pretended to agree with them on kin being bad. but then when this girl sent them the email.... i was home. with them. 

they would not shut up aboout how terrible this was for me, how i was hurting myself, how they never should have let me on tumblr, how they shouldve watched me closer, how i don't owe "these people" anything (you guys are my friends!!!) how this community is toxic, how i badly needed therapy. okay okay -- i need therapy! but it's for depression! not for being ebony!! and it was like this every single fucking day, and a lot of cringe blogs have been posting shots of my blog. that's because she's sent anon tips to them outing me as kin, outed me to my parents, and all the other ppl from class i was friends with? she spred a rumor that i was a pedophile apologist and didn't think authors' work was original, to make them stay away from me. i would have been here on tumblr -- ut they monitored all the stuff i did on the internet. i could only write poetry and watch youtube and like check the fucking weather. and i could shop on amazon. they became so ridiculously strict. it was "to protect me" but no. they refused to udnerstand that kin heps me! 

everything came to a head that night. they took a way my laptop, they took away my phone, they made me disconnect from everything that was related to kin. and they sent me to a therapist who was... well. awful. she was blatantly kinphobic, she'd had kin patients before and claimed to have cured them of being kin. this bitch had glowing reviews everywhere. when i insisted that i actually was ebony, she told me that i was taking "imagination as a coping skill" to far. she would not let me explain anything. my parents, who i usually came to for advice and liked, didn't let me explain. any mention of kin was just shut down. 

and then i couldn't anymore. i am so sorry, i just couldn't do it. and i was so angry at them. i was angryer at the bitch classmate who outed me to them. i wrote a sucide note telling them that i'd attempted before but kin saved my life, that i was sorry i couldn't be better, that all i ever wanted was to find my true self, that if i couldn't be ebony then i couldnt be at all. TW!! when they were asleep i went down to the medicine cabinet, i put a basket of my favorite things on the table, and i put the letter in it. and then i took.... jeez i dont even know what. 

the next thing i knew i was awake in the hospital. god it hurt all over. i just remember feeling super sick but really wanting food, and my head hurt, and it hurt to keep my eyes open. i was just... aching. and i was so disappointed and so scared that i'd failed. i knew my parents were furious with me and i'd never talk to my friends again. when they came in to finally talk to me , well i don't remember what happened. i blocked it out. but i do remember that they weren't angry at me, they were mad at themselves.  they are still kinphobic, but they want me to be comfortable with myself without "having to believe i'm ebony". 

when i recovered enough to be sent home they spent all their time with me until i said i needed to be alone. so they gave me a break but they came back, they said that they'd read about how to help me. all the advice they got said that they shouldn't isolate me and they shouldnt cut off my contact from my friends. so i'm allowed to be on tumblr a little, i'm allowed to talk about kin a little, they think that i'll grow out of it with lots of help. shutting me down about it will make me restless and i might atempt again. 

i am currently in therapy. i dk what my new therapist thinks of kin. i try not to talk about it with her bc i'm scared that she'll be hostile and i'll relapse. overall going to see her is not stressfull as long as i don't alk about being ebony. i just kinda pretend that i don't have a sense of my own identity, so she's trying to help me build one. i did tell her about how i had a frend that spread horrible rumors about me and shared my secrets bc i did something she didn't like, i didn't do anything wrong though. she was really sympathetic bc when she was a teenager, fake friends spread rumors about her being bi and said it meant she was cheating on her boyfriend. so yeah she is helping but kin helps too. i'm not going to tell her about it bc i can't have it taken away from me again. 

thats why i've been gone so long. i'm on new meds too, antidepressants, so i might act weird or be emotional a lot. and im trying not to self harm but i slip up and cut sometimes where no one can see it. 

i know i have a lot of messages. guys im really really sorry but i have to delete them. there are self care request, have to delete, i'm sorry. it's just.... if i the messages, i feel sick bc it' like i missed a deadline over and over and i feel like people are going to be mad at me and i feel like i cant fix it. if you sent requests, please sent them again SLOWLY over the next couple days. im doing everything i can to get better. but i need your help.