#my lady is in so much pain and has so many behavioral issues because she was FULLY DECLAWED by her previous previous “caretaker”

[leniisreallycool]

Fuck okay that sure was an episode

Helluva Boss spoilers below the cut

It took me a second to realize Stolas was automatically looking for his meds in the bathroom. UGH HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD BLITZ BUT HE COULDN'T ALSKSPWQIXMNXNZ. He went cold turkey for a whole goddamn month and you KNOW he was taking more than he really should have been before that. No wonder he crashed the way he did

The second Millie started acting weird I knew. Like I clocked it immediately. I may miss when people irl are pregnant but fictional pregnant lady behavior does not slip by me. Like when she threw up I thought for a half second "wait holy holiday = pain for demons??" but the others were fine so my next thought was "ah. Pregnant" and immediately every Millie shot confirmed it

The plants. STOLAS'S FUCKING PLANTS

I think Octavia is aware on some level that her mother doesn't really love her either. That all of this was about Stella and her revenge on Stolas and never really about her. And to be the one to find the meds - obviously that was going to fuck her up. AND HER SONG??? OH MY GOD??? "I will be okay" YOU FUCKING WILL BE BUT GOD

Her relationship with both of her parents is so messy right now. And of course it is. Her dad was broken but hid it to protect her but that backfired and now hurt her more. And her mother was always going to prioritize herself because that's all she cares about, but Octavia can't rely on Stolas. Her mother is all she has right now. But her mother doesn't care. "All you'll know is my name" "I will be a stranger to her" FUCK JUST RIP WHY HEART OUT WHY DON'T YOU

AND HER MAGIC THAT WAS SICK

We've never seen her use magic basically at all, except when she stole the Grimoire (I can't fucking spell I don't know if that's right) and when she lit Loona's cigarette

So the fact that she was able to do so much, and was clearly far more powerful than Adrealphus despite her minimal training, was incredible. And yeah she clearly didn't have the best control over it but she did save Stolas and by extension IMP

I've loved Octavia this whole time and I hope after this episode the fandom will start to recognize why she's so awesome

Also Loona's big transformation?? Let's fucking go?? Wasn't expecting that and none of the characters seemed surprised so I hope we get to see more on that

Secretary Stolas au writers how y'all feeling now that it's canon

Seeing Blitz take the gentle caretaker role so naturally was nice too. We mostly see that brash facade he puts on to protect himself but he let it down because now it's his turn to provide for Stolas. He's so soft right now akskasksks

The role reversal is interesting. The last episode made it clear that that was going to be the case, but we really see it here. The self hatred that we've seen with Blitz over and over, that he's working to get through, is now one of Stolas's many issues. Obviously he was depressed before (hence the meds) but now it's worse because (a) he made a decision that fucked his life over (that was the only choice he could have made but fuck if it didn't screw him over in every aspect of his life) (b) he went cold turkey without telling Blitz that he ever was on meds in the first place so Blitz had no way of knowing he needed help there and (c) he lost one of the only things that kept him alive this whole time and can't have her back for the next hundred years, after which it'll be too late to be her dad

Another thing, Stolas was absolutely terrified when M&M were beating the shit out of each other. He was dissociating before that but it dragged him out. It was obviously playful to Blitz and Loona and us as the audience, but we're very familiar with how friendly-violent imps are. Stolas is aware, but in a conscious way? Like he knows it in his head but not in his nervous system, if that makes sense.

Soft Blitz soft Blitz soft Blitz I repeat Blitz let go of his tough guy facade for the whole episode except when he was fighting Adrealphus and even then he switched in and out of it so naturally when he needed to

"Earning money? I'M POOR NOW FFFUUUCCKK" made me squeak like a broken chew toy for a solid five minutes I had to pause the episode so I could catch my breath

"Wait I guess eating eggs is like cannibalism for you" second best bit in the episode

[maelihi]

Morbid Headcanons.

please please PLEASE do not read if you are sensitive to the following topics: sexual assault, drinking, pill abuse, hypersexuality, violence or graphic depictions of wounds and others- thank you. and stay safe <3

number one: (drug addiction and violence) balto has a pain pill addiction due to breaking his back in military school, and he gets addicted to them around his senior year of highschool. he doesn’t think much of it, until he injures his friend, and sends them to the hospital. this was a wake up call, and he went to a rehabilitation program.

number two: (sexual topics and child exposure) daniel is very cautious when it comes to sexual activity and encounters, since he was exposed to p*rn*graphy at a young age. this is related to a close story of mine, just to clarify. he often uses this soft mental state to cope with the fact that a lot of his earlier childhood memories are sometimes riddled with memories of the XXX tapes. like a more secretive way to age regress, and kind of feel calmer to a point.

number three: (child abuse and favoritism) further in life, garte ends up being an alcoholic and verbally and physically abused both vylad and zane. he would be pressuring garroth, but because of how garroth stood out, he was nervous that he would be caught as an abuser if garroth came out, since he would most likely be believed.

number four: (anger issues, abuse and discrimination) katelyn has severe, untreated anger issues, that harm both her and the people around her. she punches things, which injure her hands, and she kicks things, which caused her to permanently damage her foot. she also sometimes hurts people, such as travis, dante, and kawaii~chan. she’s also kind of ‘speciest’ towards werewolves, and would do many things offensive- (barking, saying ‘furry’ out loud, which i believe is the equivalent to a slur in aphs universe.)

number five: (stalking and implied assault) ein is incredibly stalker-ish. and he develops his whole personality around other people. he’s incredibly touchy, and back in his earlier days he wouldn’t take no for an answer. ever. this caused him to be outcasted. this kind of goes hand in hand with the idea that dottie, rylan, and daniel are also a bit clingy, and almost unaware of personal space and they are friends. (though in my au werewolves are very touchy, just in general.)

number six: (grooming and satanic themes) zenix. zenix was most likely in a way groomed by gene. in my au, gene was 18, and zenix was 14 when they met, and zenix was extremely religious, and was afraid of drugs and alcohol. gene came along and wanted a posse, a defense- and so zenix was one of who he chose, and he coerced him into a more satanic way of life and encouraged him to do substances, to be ‘cool’. (let it be known i have no problem with any religion, and everyone should be accepted <3)

number seven: (toxic relationships) in my au, ivan is transgender. his family was very against this, and were very horrible people. ivan then adopted a more stoic, masculine edge and personality, wanting to be threatening, and wanting people to fear him, respect him. he tried to be too controlling over lucinda, wanting to make her a kind of stay at home ‘lady’. and was very screamy when she was against it. ivan is a virgin, and very pissy about it.

number eight: (this one involves wounds and some limited gore) when aaron was very young, and because he was the ultima- he would have random bursts of anger, and aggression. and he would sometimes kill animals and tear them open, for the smell of blood, because he was unable to control himself. this caused him a great deal of pain, and caused him to be more desensitized to death later in life.

number nine: (desperation, homelessness and possessiveness) ein, jax and ryder are very possessive of one another, since ein took them in when ryder got kicked out for his behavior, and jax ran away from home. they are very toxic towards one another, and cannot be away from each other long, as it causes them distress.

number ten: (drug usage, juvie, and violence + gore) blaze was framed when someone put marijuana in his bag, causing him to go to juvie. while in there, not only did he end up actually smoking weed, he also got addicted to cigarettes. also while in prison is where he got the scar across his nose, where a kid ended up slicing his face over a pack of cigars. blaze is very shaky when in dangerous situations, since he has witnessed many injuries happen in juvie.

reminder: all of these are in some connection to me or my experiences. thank you and stay safe <3

[kylejsugarman]

what did baby think of demi when they first met? what did demi think of baby? how did demi cope with the loss of her sister as a new parent? did she start work at the clinic right away, or did she wait to look after baby? how did baby and demi cope in the weird Transitional period between samantha and josephine dying? did mason keep taking care of baby, or was it just demi? did baby start kindergarten so she would just have Supervision when the adults in her life couldn’t provide it? also, how did mason do with all these changes? sorry for a million questions that are all over the place, i just really like the Ayuluk Family Lore and wonder a lot about that sort of. uncertain period specifically… your ocs are so well fleshed-out and so interesting to me

are u kidding, never be sorry for a million questions about my oc’s i could literally talk about them Forever!! baby had met demi a couple of times whenever demi came home from school to visit her family and just sort of had a vague impression of her as “nice lady who looks like mom and grandma”. demi of course loved her niece and enjoyed seeing her with every visit, but she didn’t know a ton about her specific behaviors when she first moved back home. demi and baby really only had a few weeks to get to know one another better before samantha died, time that demi mostly spent getting her clinic set up and working with her family to try to figure out a recovery plan for samantha. very suddenly losing samantha to an overdose when demi had been working towards getting her sister some help was extremely traumatizing, but demi has always been the family member who absorbs everyone else’s pain and stress so she put her grief aside. she just focused on getting the funeral planned and dealing with now legally having custody of baby, which meant that demi truly never processed her sister’s death in a whole and complete way.

demi kept working on getting her clinic started without any delay because she knew that the family would need income on top of what mason was making. for a moment, things were almost okay, but then josephine died and life just kind of. went gray for all of them. demi continued not dealing with the deaths so she could perform all of the necessary duties and responsibilities required to keep their family afloat, which meant fading out of her life and not having many chances to bond significantly with baby other than caring for her on a loving but not quite personable level. mason had already stepped up by dropping out of high school to work and take care of his mom, but he had always been the optimist until sam and josephine died; he kind of dimmed after that and started smoking a lot more in his down time. he still took care of baby like he had done before, but it was just. Different yk?? and baby had already been a quiet kid but after the deaths, she basically stopped talking for a while and just stayed in her own little world. she did what she was told and was still willing to interact when necessary, but she mostly just stayed in her room. that was also when her sleep issues showed up and really started getting bad.

baby was put in kindergarten early so she could have adult supervision. demi and mason tried to spend as much time as possible with her, but with both of them working now, they couldn’t provide full time care. demi was never fully alone in taking care of baby since her brother was with her every step of the way, but she justifiably felt very lonely during this time and like there was no way for her to ever be a good parent to baby with this kind of start. it was the kind of thing she just couldn’t imagine them ever recovering from

[crescenthoax]

I can't get Annika out of my head (i mean who can) but i've been dying to know this because listen. I feel like there are a lot of undiagnosed mental illness in asoiaf which of course because medieval times lol but when i read annika i think a lot about borderline personality and eating disorders so i wonder if you ever thought of that when writing her? I feel like not only she sees things in black and white, she gets too lost in one problem and when she finally gets it over she finds another thing to hyperfixiate and overthink, and most of this things i gotta admit are all in her head (i am #team she misunderstood aegon's words about their son's blood and i stand by that) and cmon she HAS an eating disorder, when i first read she was grieving and did not eat i thought no big deal but then you emphasized so much on how skinny she was and how skinny she likes to be... besides during her whole pregnancy she complied about being fat and feeling terrible and she was embarrassed for asking for another serve of pie. and when she bodyshames cressida???? yeah no that's rexie behavior for real. (((i do not mean to offend anybody who deals with those things, i myself have had an ed for example and i just see a lot of myself in annika)))

Tbh, I’ve ALWAYS pictured Annika as a girl with many body image issues specially because throughout her entire life her value has been measured in either her looks or her last name. On one hand, she’s a beautiful girl and that fact has brought her pain, it’s natural for her to reject that part of her and try to destroy herself as a punishment to her father even. And I believe she finds comfort on starving because as a Lady everything she ate was supervised by her septas and nannies, and when she just stops eating it gives her this sensation of control over herself and even to manipulare others –Aegon telling her she only likes Willa because she doesn’t really make sure she’s eaten, I mean that’s kind of true because she for the first times understands she can stop eating if she wants to and no one can force her to do it because she’s now queen but also, it’s probably the first time Aegon looks worried about her. And she likes it. She likes to worrying people. Regarding her inability to see things in black or white, I think she tends to make a mountain out of a molehill because she doesn't know how to deal with the negative feelings that situations provoke in her. That's also where her response of stopping to eat comes from, it’s her copying mechanism. When things don't go as planned, she becomes desperate. She needs to have control over everything, even over how others perceive her physically, and when she loses control her entire system collapses… That’s why she’s so afraid of loving and losing again. I don't know much about bpd, so I wouldn't dare say she suffers from one, but Annika is definitely narcissistic and has disordered eating behaviors for sure.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 192

Heaven Can’t Wait/The Bells of Saint John

“Heaven Can’t Wait”

Plot Description: Dean and Castiel investigate a series of spontaneous human combustions, while Crowley helps Sam and Kevin translate an ancient tablet

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: idk what that dude’s whole thing is, but…I don’t think I could stop him if he wanted to explode me

Cas studying and imitating human behavior is adorable. You are CORRECT, miss manager lady, he IS special!! 💖

GWORL. I know you got a crush but holy shit. Wait…no. She…might not? The kiss was confusing but I think she actually wants Cas to babysit for a date she’s going on

Why are the splattered remains Barbie pink??

GWORL (Dean), you didn’t just wanna bail on research. You wanted to see your boyfriend

Well, damn, if an angel came and exploded me any time I exaggeratedly said I wanna die?? Yikes.

I’m sorry. Dean. You don’t get to be like this about Cas’s situation when you kicked him out of the bunker…

I can’t believe Sam is actively manipulating Crowley….yeah.

Dean, you get NO SAY in what Castiel is going through unless you take him back to the bunker. He is doing his best with what little people skills he has. He is content right now

Yeah. He’s being called in to babysit

He has responsibilities, DEAN. Like cleaning the restroom

Can you spit out why it’s so bad BEFORE what would be a commercial break? No? Cool.

Omg…Dean telling Cas how to dress for this (not-a-)date

It’s gonna hurt to watch Cas get shut down……..at least Dean won’t be there to watch exactly…

Don’t worry, Cas, it WAS a confusing proposition. I get she was excited for her date, but she shouldn’t have kissed you.

It’s sick and twisted that Crowley wants to use Kevin’s blood to call Abaddon. He should not have to go through this…

Castiel is adorably bad with this baby. He’s TRYING but like………oh. No. He’s not bad with her, she really likes him. I…this is so cute. He can weirdly relate so much to being new to being a human.

No no nonononoooooo. The angel who’s been exploding people found Cas by the amount of emotional pain he’s in

Omg Abaddon is so hot

Literally could not care less if everything she does gets labeled wrong by the story. Don’t care that Crowley gets mad that she’s invalidating his contracts and that she’s screwing up hell. She can do whatever she wants

Bets on whether Metatron’s spell being permanent:

1) actually IS permanent, and

2) is a thing Dean tells Cas RIGHT NOW instead of keeping it a secret?

Do you have a crush on him NOW, miss manager lady???

Yeah. Kinda knew Dean wasn’t gonna be the MOST upfront

Hmmm…I’m betting this isn’t a “I want to FEEL human again” blood injection. It’s probably a “if I’m human again I can escape this bunker” one

“The Bells of Saint John”

Plot Description: The Doctor’s search for Clara Oswald brings him to modern day London

(There’s a lot to hate about the Big Bang Theory but I will never fault the show for pointing out that, though the Doctor has access to all of space and time, he sure does like modern day London (or sometimes Wales) a whole lot)

Oh yOuR sOuL’s BeEn UpLoAdEd To ThE iNtErNeT?? Kay…what else is new?? And why are you clicking on weird wifi networks? Did no one teach you anything?? And like…SO MANY people did that

This episode is making me so angry…just as someone who spent most of their day with our IT department trying to get them to take me seriously about my persistent internet issues. Yes, the internet SHOULD JUST BE THERE. I wish I knew why it isn’t but I am also not an IT specialist. (I could spend the next hour ranting about how I cried on the phone because I couldn’t get them to do anything beyond basic troubleshooting and then the second it was back for even a moment they were like ‘well, now I can’t escalate it because it’s back. If it happens again, call back’ even though that WAS a call back because I’d had the same issue the night before…..but I do need to actually watch this episode)

Ah, damn, Clara, you clicked the wrong WiFi……

Ugh…they’re doing it again. They’re too much alike. Not to rush Matt’s time but I need it to be Peter Capaldi now.

These people remind me too much of Naomi and her reign over heaven in spn

Bestie, RUN.

Maybe if the Doctor had gotten a tonsure, he’d think monks are cool

I do like the little flair the bottom of the Doctor’s jacket has now. It’s a twirly jacket

Ohhhhhh there really isn’t anything like a freshly opened package of jammy dodgers though

This is framed in a way that’s supposed to be cute and because it’s the Doctor, WE know she’s actually safe but if a strange man broke into my home after something happened to me, carried me to my bed, laid out snacks, took all my messages for me (including interacting with people close to me), and then told me NOW I was safe…I would not think I was safe. Also, the music is rather romcom-y and that’s weird because he’s several hundred years older than her

“I can’t tell the future, I just work there” is a really good line though

Ok no. This is creepy af. People should not be hackable

Is…the great intelligence behind this?? The bad guy from the last episode?

Oh these people are going to regret taking the Doctor’s likeness to get to Clara

I miss when the Doctor was a little less of an action hero. He shouldn’t be allowed to ride a motorcycle up the side of a building

I was RIGHT?? The Great Intelligence was behind it?? HOW LONG WAS HE KEEPING THAT WOMAN HOSTAGE?? HOW LONG HAD SHE BEEN HACKED?? She sounded like a little kid when she came to

[vergilthelibrarian]

Selfish

Yandere!TaeminxGNReader!

Cw: Taemin is manipulative and mentally abusive. (I do not support this type of behavior. It’s just a story and things a bit from my own experiences as well).

Hola ladies 😏 hehe…… anyway I wrote something. Please tell me if you like it, I don’t think I ever wrote a oneshot for Taemin before so like yeah lol

Enjoy ^^

~

Taemin knew he was in the wrong for taking advantage of you at your mentally worse but he always felt as though you wouldn't give him what he wanted if you were at your mentally best.

Which was you.

All of you.

Mind, body, and soul

In Taemin's eyes, you were too good for him but in the situation unfolding right before his eyes, the words coming out of your mouth was telling him the exact opposite.

"I'm not good for you." you cried on the floor, blood trickling down your arm.

"You're right. You're right. They don’t care about me."

Taemin immediately went towards you, stopping right in front of you and getting on his knees.

He grabbed you into a hug, being careful to not touch your deep wound on your forearm.

One of his arms letting for a bit to take the knife sitting next to you and pushing it as far as he can from you.

He knew you'd have an episode at some point again though he didn't expect it to be this bad.

You weren't taking your medication again and instead of encouraging you to take them like he normally did, Taemin started encouraging to not them anymore.

He didn't just outright started telling you to stop of course.

You would alwavs complain about your medication.

About how sometimes they wouldn't work no matter how high of a dosage or how many times you switch.

You were becoming irritated as in your own words; "Every psychiatrist I ever had treats medication like the end all be all. Every time i explain to them why it's not working for me, they just don't listen! It's like talking to a brick wall..."

Those words stayed in his mind and as his feelings for you grew even stronger, the guilt that was present whenever he would entertain the idea of making you stop your medication started dissipating before it completely evaporated.

"If you feel that way, maybe you should just stop taking them?" he suggested to you one day.

Obviously you didn't agree with him at first but then as weeks pass you began not taking your medication.

"You know... if you think your therapist and psychiatrist at that bad, maybe you should stop seeing them? Therapy doesn't work for everyone."

You nodded.

“Yeah.. you're right. I could probably try to find a new therapist and-"

"No!" you eyed Taemin suspiciously at his sudden outburst.

"I mean... you know since you said you always had issues with therapy, why not just stop going?" he chuckled slightly, awkwardness evident in his stiff body.

You bit your lip.

“Taemin I need some sort of help. I can't just stop therapy altogether." you sighed.

"You have me though...” he whispered low enough that you couldn't hear him.

After some time though, you stopped going to therapy.

In fact, you haven't seen a mental health professional in 10 months and in all that time, Taemin has been there for you through it all.

"You're right. I'm just crazy. I'm crazy." you cried hysterically into Taemin's chest from both the psychical and emotional pain.

"Everyone always leaves me."

"That's because they don't care about you as much as I do.”

Taemin once again knew he was very much in the wrong.

Your friends and family did indeed cared for you.

In fact they cared for you so much that they began warning you and even downright telling you to leave the man because he was flat out abusing you mentally though you didn’t believe it.

Taemin would always listen to you when you would complain about your friends and family.

You have gotten into huge fights with them some times and would tell him what they would tell you during those fights.

"My sister really called me a psychotic bitch all because I was freaking out from my paranoia!" you cried one night to him.

"Why would she call me that? She knows I can't control it!"

And like always, Taemin's arms would be wrapped around your body and you could never see his blank expression as he would say, "It's because she doesn't love you as deeply as you do her. She just thinks you're crazy." his voice gentle and soft. “She takes you for granted… but I don’t.”

Though Taemin knew how horrible he was for even driving you to this point where you would mutilate yourself over being (suspiciously) fired from your job, he felt absolutely no guilt.

He had to do this.

He needed for you to be his alone and if that meant destroying your life and mental health in order for him to get what he wanted then so be it.

As you cried hard into Taemin's chest, sanity broken, a little smile grew on your lover's lips.

He finally got you were he wanted you.

You were now truly his.

"You know I'll never leave you." his warm hand rubbed your back, soothing you.

"I love you okay?" he kissed your cheek before pulling back to look you in the eyes, smiling a bit wider as he saw it, doing well to hold back his gleeful giggle.

The exhaustion.

The defeat.

The sad, desperate plea for help all swirling in your eyes.

“Let's go to the hospital so you can get stitched up."

You nodded.

In your eyes, Taemin really was the only one who did truly love you.

And he did indeed loved you.

He was just simply selfish.

"I'm always gonna take of you. You know that."

[plumbobtv]

The After Show - Episode 8

Welcome back Victoria, good to see you again. Thank you for inviting me again, I loved being here last time and I feel like I have a lot of explaining to do haha.

Yeah... This season has been kinda messy for you right? Definitely, there hasn’t been one woman besides Heather I haven’t had an issue with. I think that tells you more then enough haha.

Why do you have so many issues you think? Because I can’t ever keep quiet... Look, I had a lot going on in my head this season and it’s no excuse. But it didn’t help the situation. I see a lot of people online calling me out and I agree. I have been out of line a few times.

Do you owe some of the ladies an apology? Most definitely, the reunion is gonna be a hard day for me... But I am gonna be there and own my part in the drama and apologize where it’s due.

So not everyone is getting an apology? No, because as much as I wanna own my part. Some ladies came into the season coming for me and I am not gonna apologize for reacting.

Let’s get into the episode. You have breakfast with Heather and you have switched houses. Were you that uncomfortable? Honestly, I had a horrible first day on the trip. A lot had happened and when I heard Judith’s room in the rental was free, I didn’t even think about it twice. I slept awesome the other night haha.

Next we see Octavia and Mila discussing what happened the other night and Octavia says she kinda believes the rumors. How do you feel? Well, I don’t believe the rumors. Because all I have heard is stuff coming out of Judith’s mouth, I have seen no receipts. If they’re there and so real... Why not show them? I think they’re just pushing a storyline honestly.

If you would have gotten the messages like Mila got, would you have looked? Uhm... Honestly... If I was in Mila’s shoes, I probably would have taken a look. Knowing how bad her relationship with Heather was, I would look.

Then we see Heather & her husband talk... It’s rough right? I had trouble watching that. Because I hangout with them a lot in the past two years and they’re so good together. I wish my marriage was like theirs, so seeing them hurt was painful.

How do you feel about Stuart’s reaction? I completely understand his reaction, I wouldn’t wanna have these cameras around if I was him either. He isn’t getting paid to be on the show, so why deal with all of these rumors on the show?

We see Saffron having diner with her ex husband. About the social media behavior he has on her wedding day. How do you feel? I think it’s great they had a conversation. Because a lot happened that day and as Saffron’s former friend. I know they have been in a rough place, but they we’re just getting better before the wedding. So seeing him rage post like that was very hard for me.

Saffron & you aren’t in a good place, do you feel like it could be fixed? Coming into the season, I thought we could fix it for sure. But seeing what has happened in the season and what has been said. I am not sure, we’ll have to wait and see what happens honestly.

Do you think it’s fair from Saffron to set an ultimatum for her kids? No and she will hate me for saying this, but I am gonna be honest. She chose the show over her family, if she would have quit the show they would still be a family. So the least she can do is show some compassion to her kids. They have been through a lot the past few years.

Mila’s diner party... You enjoyed yourself? Haha, I did maybe a bit too much. But whatever, I had a great night.

Why were you drinking so much? I think I had a bit of anxiety, last time Heather wasn’t present at an event I got almost killed. So I was probably nervous haha.

We see some tension between Mila & her husband... How do you feel? No, that isn’t true. We saw her husband behave very poorly and I told right that night how I felt about that. And I am not gonna say anymore, because you will see what happens when I speak my mind next episode or so...

But would you accept someone talking to you like that? Let me say this... If he was my husband, we would be divorced by now. Nobody is gonna talk to me like that, I have too much self respect.

Mila calls out Octavia for stirring things up and then backing away. How do  you feel about that? Good for her, she would stand up against her husband like that! Haha, no honestly. I think Mila read Octavia for exactly what she is. She has been doing it all season and it’s time for her to own it.

Do you think she get’s a pass because she is an OG? I do think some ladies don’t wanna go against her because they feel like she has much more influence then the rest of us. But I don’t think that is true. Octavia just has a very big mouth when you call her out. Telling Mila to be quiet in her own home, very snobby.

Will she be hold accountable? I think she will be, on the season and also at the reunion. We’re filming the reunion soon-ish. So we’ll have to wait and see. But I am ready to talk about it.

Who do you think will be in the hot seat the most at the reunion? I think I will get to explain myself a lot haha. But I also think Judith & Octavia have a lot of explaining to do. Heather will have to be honest about everything... I think everyone will be in the hot seat honestly haha. Some more then others though.

Looking at next season, what needs to be done with the cast? Uhm... I feel like we all delivered very good on this season. But I do think we might need some change. I have seen a lot of fans asking for me to be fired, I don’t wanna go. I would say Courtney needs to leave, because I think she is honestly fake. There is nothing likable about her.

The fans seem to really like her though... But is that what makes a good simwife? If everyone just likes you... I don’t think so, but that’s me.

I have heard enough... Thank you for joining us and good luck at the reunion! Hopefully I’ll see you again next year! Thank you, I will need some luck haha. And I hope to be back next year too!

[morizoras-cave]

Sleepyhead (Request)

MCU cast x gn!teen!co-star!reader, Benedict Cumberbatch x gn!reader

Genre: Angst, fluff

Request Description: Hiya♥️could i please request a teen x marvel cast were they always find her sleeping and taking naps everywhere around set and they confront her about it and she says something about having to take care of her little siblings because her parents are never arohnd do she gets no sleep. Sorry if its to long.❤❤❤❤❤😍🥰

Warnings: irresponsible parents, negligence, slight insecurity, stress

(A/N): sorry this is kind of centered around benedict, i find these mcu cast x reader ones difficult. also im watching a belarusian war-movie from 1985 about the holocaust. its absolutely terrifying (im very serious, i’d be cautious for trigger warnings). if you’re looking for a horror movie or something, search “come and see movie” on youtube and you’ll find the entire thing there (:

At first, it had been sweet. A testament to the insomniatic youth, if you will. In every closet, behind every door, and on every soft surface, you could be found in between takes, snoring away.

They all agreed you were probably watching movies or playing games up late at night, computer screen illuminating your face. Or maybe you were chatting with your faraway friends. Either way, it was almost endearing to find you drooling on the couches scattered around the set.

Sweet and endearing at first, yes. But then the feelings about it, the longer it went on, the more your mature and well behaved personality clashed with the idea of you staying up all night, the more the feelings about your frequent naps changed.

To the set workers, the coordinators and overseers of the countless tasks on set, it became an issue. 

“Where’s Y/n? We need them for the next scene!” 

More often than not, several people would be running around set in search of you. And of course you apologized profusely when they found and woke you, but it didn’t matter when you never changed.

But to your coworkers, the talented actors and actresses on set of this huge movie production, it was concerning. Because you were their friend, undoubtedly. 

When you would be pulled out a distant break room, rubbing your dark and drowsy eyes, mumblings would start among them. 

“Are they okay?” 

“They just seem so sensible, I don’t understand why they would stay up like that.” 

And then there was you. Young and unfortunate you. Just trying to do your best, trying to please everyone. It was impossible for anyone to know how much you were juggling with. 

You felt like a bird with a broken wing, still flying but bound to fall to its death. You knew it was too much. You knew it was only a matter of time before you broke. 

Most teens felt stressed with just schoolwork, and then there was you. Battling long set days and huge mounts of schoolwork. And then the family.

Your parents that never seemed to be around. They were both working all the time and often left you and your siblings to yourselves. The problems with that was that you were the eldest, and your siblings were too young to take care of themselves. You were the one left to bring home groceries, to make dinner, to bring them to bed, and to help them with any of their schoolwork or difficulties. 

And it was too much. Simply put it was too much for you. You had managed back when you were just another teen at school, but now you were in a movie, you had a JOB.

Usually you’d go to set and work your ass off, get home and help the kids all day, and then do your schoolwork in the night. You almost never got more than an hour or two of sleep, which was why you settled for small naps during your filming sessions. 

You were so stressed, and you wanted to be angry, because in truth you had every right to. But you were too tired and too busy to be angry. Too focused on your siblings and doing good as an actor. But you would never want to involve your coworkers. You thought it would be embarrassing and unprofessional to involve them. So you carried the weight all alone.

“Wake up! Wake up!” 

Someone was shaking you awake. You blinked your eyes open. A redhead set assistant was yelling in your face, grasping your shoulders. 

She stopped when she saw your eyes turning to slits, before widening to look at her. 

“Am I on?” you mumbled, rubbing your eyes. The lady scoffed.

“Are you on? Yeah, you’re on,” she spat and swung around, heels clicking on the floor, as she exited the break room briskly.

You were ashamed. Of course you were. You were so unprofessional and problematic. But you knew you had no other time to sleep, so this was your only option. The thought made you want to cry. 

Instead, you stood up and walked to where the scene would be filmed, through several hallways and technical rooms, before you arrived to the large set. 

Benedict, Robert, Tom (Holland), Chris (Pratt), Pom, and Dave were all gathered and ready to film. Your face was on fire, so you avoided their gazes, and just got into position to film the next scene. 

Benedict and Robert exchanged glances as you yawned, but before they could talk to you (as it seemed everyone was getting fed up with your constant sleepiness) the director yelled “action”, and the acting resumed. 

You all did the scene and you, surprisingly, did okay for having woken up about five minutes earlier. You continued doing several scenes for the movie all together, going through about three full scenes.

When the director was satisfied, everyone started scattering. You, rubbing your tired eyes, was already beelining for the break room, hoping to see an empty couch for you to crash.

However, before you could sneak off to catch some z���s, you felt a firm hand on your shoulder. You blinked, turning around and gazing at the person who had grabbed your shoulder. It was Benedict, Robert, Tom and Chris not fat behind him. He had a stern look on his face. 

“Y/n, we need to talk.”

“Yeah, sure, what’s up?” your tone was casual, or perhaps too exhausted to express any real emotion, but inside you felt your stomach churn with anxiety. 

“Why are you always sleeping?” Robert chimed in. 

“Yeah, because if you’re up watching Youtube or whatever, you probably shouldn’t!” Tom said.

“Not that we’re assuming that that’s what you’re doing! It’s just- You know..,” Chris explained, voice full of panic.

You smiled softly. You recognized that they were coming from a place of worry. Then, your heart sunk slightly. You could cry. Again. Over the thought of your lack of time and your endless responsibilities. 

“It’s nothing serious, it’s just..” you trailed off, trying to figure out how you could make it sound less sad. Things always sounded worse when spoken out loud, you found. “I have two siblings, and my parents are never around, so I’m kind of the person taking care of them.” 

Your coworkers in front of you fell silent. You could see it on their faces. They didn’t like it. 

“You?” Robert said finally, and you just nodded. 

“So, you’re doing a movie, doing school, and taking care of your siblings at the same time?” Benedict repeated slowly, and once again you just nodded. There was nothing more to say. 

“Why aren’t your parents there?” Chris asked in his serious-unserious voice. 

“They’re working a lot,” you mumbled, disliking the collective attention on you. The thought of the couch made you yearn for some rest. You could tell that there were many things they wanted to do in that moment. They wanted to fix it all. 

“Can’t you tell them you don’t have time?” 

“I’ve tried that already. They say they don’t have a choice,” to this, both Robert and Benedict scoffed and shook their heads. You just watched with heavy eyes. 

“Alright. Here’s what’s going to happen,” Benedict said quietly, eyes boring into yours, “I’m going to call a nanny to look after your siblings for a couple of days, don’t worry I’ll pay. You’re going to back to the hotel and sleep for at least 10 hours. When you’ve done that, and only when you’ve done that, will we talk about how we’ll move forward with your parents.” 

You were quiet. You couldn’t stand up to your parents like Benedict wanted you to. You just couldn’t. They were busy and that was understandable. 

Although, you had to admit, the thought of sleeping for 10 hours was enticing. Heck, worst case scenario, you could settle for 5! Your tiredness was like heavy cuffs and chains on your body, and Benedict stood with the shining, golden key right in front of you. 

“Benedict, I- I can’t do that to my parents-”

“No, your parents can’t do this to you! This is absolutely outrageous!” He was frustrated you could tell. Robert seemed upset too, while Tom and Chris stepped back and let the adults handle it. Though, they seemed sad for you. 

You went quiet. 

“I just-” 

“I don’t want to hear another word about how they’re somehow excused for their behavior. This is negligence, Y/n! This is too much for you and you know it! You’re exhausted and it’s so painful to see, so please. Just take me up on this.”

You sighed.

“Alright, then.” you said, body finally giving in to the attractive offer. Benedict’s face carried the ghost of a satisfied smile, before going back to the stone cold determination. 

You drove to the hotel in Robert’s car and they booked you an extra room, knowing that your siblings occupied the other one. As soon as you could fall back on the bed, you were gone, body screaming for rest. 

You woke up 14 hours later, feeling happier, brighter and well-rested. That feeling had been forgotten by you, but it was alright, you decided. Every inch of you blossomed with energy now. 

As promised, Benedict had ordered a nanny for your siblings (the nanny was a lovely human being, and simply amazing with kids). Benedict, Robert, Chris and Tom has split the bill. 

You called him when you woke up, and he dragged you to a restaurant, where the two of you had a long, long talk about why what your parents were doing was serious and unacceptable. He could tell he needed to explain it to you, because you, like many children, were ready to defend your parents’ at all costs. 

Needless to say, after Benedict’s advice you didn’t have to go through that kind of thing again. You settled it with your parents (as well as your siblings), and after that you were so grateful that Benedict helped you out of that responsibility, because it wasn’t yours to have. 

Benedict was just happy to help, the memory of seeing you sleep everywhere, now less endearing and simply painful. He didn’t like thinking about it, and so he tried not to, but rather focused on your laughter and bright smile. In truth, that’s the only thing that really mattered. 

___________________________

Tag List:

@hera-the-writer @marvel-madness @40srogcrs @whatthefuckimbisexual @snarky–starky @garbage-potato @eviemarvel @lozzypoz321 @allthecreativeonesaretaken @missamericana713 @rororo06 @shady80smusicsingercolor @ireadfanficforfun

[glassworkspiderlilies]

verglas

Piofiore no Banshou | Nicola/Liliana, Gilbert | AO3 Summary: At the height of summer, Liliana Adornato arrives at the Visconti manor in the hands of Nicola Francesca. There are unresolved issues between them. This becomes everyone else's problem, too. (Or, Lili wages some psychological warfare against Nicola. The Visconti manor experiences a premature and very severe winter.) Notes: COULDN’T MOVE ON FROM PIOFIORE WITHOUT PAYING TRIBUTE TO MY FAVORITE BOY, NICOLA FRANCESCA....I LOVE HIM. and therefore i shall bully him, just a little. 

.

.

.

At the height of summer, Liliana Adornato arrives at the Visconti manor in the hands of Nicola Francesca.

The latter is met with thinly veiled hostility. A traitor is a traitor, but Gilbert has made his orders clear: Nicola Francesca is not to be touched. The former, on the other hand, is met with both politeness and interest; though she had been under the protection of the Falzone Family, she is merely a normal girl, and one from the church, at that. There is no problem there.

It's expected that Nicola will be trouble, the largest upset, internal ceasefire notwithstanding. After all, he’s not just any traitor to his Family—he was their Underboss, and a talented one at that. Simply by way of his being here and what he’s already done—he will always be an outsider, no matter how many years he stays with the Visconti or how many feats he performs under their name. As Oliver says: once a traitor, always a traitor.

The Visconti do not expect the lady to be anything but demure and well-mannered, as she has already shown herself to be. Sure, she was living in the Falzone manor awhile and sure, the Visconti are friendlier than most mafia, but both Families are still mafia, and in Burlone, it’s the mafia that rule. As a citizen, Liliana knows how to show her respect, to stay within the unwritten laws.  

But. Within a few days, it becomes apparent that there’s something between Lili and Nicola. Despite the fact that it was he who kidnapped her and brought her here, she looks for him at every turn and is far more at ease in his presence than anyone else’s. The Visconti soldati see her face light up at any glimpse of him, though Nicola rebuffs her approach at every turn, far too busy to entertain her. Otherwise, he never spares a glance. The two have had at least one proper conversation behind closed doors, presumably in which Nicola had reaffirmed her situation and his true colors, but it doesn’t change her behavior.    

The soldati shake their heads and think she’ll get over it; it is apparent she has outlived her usefulness, and even they have heard tell of Nicola Francesca’s pretty string of broken hearts. Eventually those ladies learn to stop lamenting over a mafia boy, and move on.

The soldati are wrong.

Liliana is darling and sweet, kind and optimistic. She is also stubborn.

All of those are weapons, and consciously or not, she uses them.

There are unresolved issues between her and Nicola.

This becomes everyone else’s problem, too.

.

He is avoiding her.

Some interaction is inevitable, yes, but he makes the choices where he can. If she is in the dining hall he will not eat then; if she is in the kitchens he will make his drink later. He leaves the manor before she wakes and returns well past her bedtime. If he must see her or speak to her, he averts his gaze or cuts her off mid-sentence and pushes past him.

Lili had thought him kind, but he’d warned her—he is also a cruel man.

And yet—Lili mounts her rebellion, undeterred.

First is during lunch one day. Nicola walks into the dining room and the chatter quiets before it picks up again; he is used to this by now, more relieved that he does not see Lili in their midst. He goes to the serving table, frowning a little at what he sees. Broiled bream in lardo is the main course.

He hates lardo.

He considers his options, but before he can choose anything, the volume of the chatter fluctuates again, and when he turns he sees Lili sweeping into the room. His heart doesn’t even have time to sink before she’s in front of him.

“Here,” she says, and though her tone is pleasant as ever, her eyes are challenging.

In her hands is a plate, loaded up with food. It looks no different than anyone else’s, but upon closer inspection, he realizes that the fish has been baked, the accompanying lemon sauce a little different. It has no lardo.

Nicola looks at her, and she stares back. Back at the Falzone manor, she’d made a very similar dish to today’s main course, and he’d eaten it without complaint because she had served it to him so happily. It was later that she found out his preferences, but he assured her hers had been an exception.

Now, she serves him the opposite. Despite his treatment of her, she remembered and went through the effort of preparing something else for him.

Lili waits. All around them, the chatter has quieted to a low din, everyone watching the strange almost-fight between them. Nicola should refuse, like he’s always done. She’s tried this before, offering him food, trailing after him and begging him to eat or rest.

She’s not begging now; it is an attack, as much as it is an offering.

Her eyes flicker at his hesitation, and she tilts her head a little.

How much do you hate me? She seems to ask, limpid and melancholy. Will he rebuff her food again this time, despite the other options being something he hates or an unsatisfying combination of side dishes?

“You must have a lot of time on your hands,” Nicola says with a frown, trying to spurn her anyway.

“I’m staying put,” Lili responds, without missing a beat, “So yes, I do. But you won’t waste it, will you?”

Her ample time, or her food? Either way, Nicola can’t think of anything else rude to say. He lets Lili push the plate into his hands.

“Thank you,” he says stiffly, and Lili beams at him.

Nicola sits. Lili does too in the seat across from him, after preparing her own plate. It’s the same as his. The dining room is unable to return to its normal ambiance, a strange sort of frigidness still present between the two of them.

I make what you like. I eat what you like. I sit with you, I eat with you—I am with you.

It is a message, all of it, to him and the Visconti both whether she intends both or not. She stands by him and him only, even now.

Nicola cleans his plate, almost against his will. She’s a good cook, always has been, and the food is…familiar. Comforting.

“I’ll get it,” Lili says softly, reaching for his empty dish, and Nicola looks at her.

Her actions so far have all been servile, but when she looks at him now, satisfaction evident on her face, Nicola feels like a fly caught in a spider’s web.  

.

Nicola is exhausted when he walks through the door, and moreso when Lili pops her head around the corner. Her face brightens even as his darkens, and she offers him a plate of fresh panzerotti, which he curtly refuses.

“You don’t look so good,” she continues, coming closer and practically blocking his path as he tries to move forward, peering at his face. “How about a cup of espresso?”

Nicola freezes at the familiar words, though they must seem innocuous to everyone else. His eyes narrow almost imperceptibly, and Lili takes advantage of his pause to flit towards the kitchen.

“I don’t need it,” he calls immediately after her, his brows furrowing, but when he finally follows after her, she is already in the middle of preparing one. “I thought I refused.”

She doesn’t look at him, pointedly ignoring his words.  

“You look pale. Having something warm will make you feel better,” she tells him serenely, and Nicola stiffens again.

He remembers this exact conversation when he first brought her to the Visconti manor, only their roles were reversed.

In another few moments, she is handing him the freshly brewed cup.

“Here,” she says, smiling, and Nicola sighs, looking vaguely pained.

“Lili…” he sighs, but she merely continues to hold out the cup of espresso as she pins him with her stare.

The coffee does smell good. He accepts the cup and sips, and she looks a little relieved—had he truly looked so tired, and in need of a pick-me-up?—before turning to make herself a cup of what he presumes will be a caffe latte. She looks vaguely surprised when she turns around and he’s still there, and perhaps it is testament to how exhausted he is because he doesn’t move.

They stand in silence, sipping at their drinks, a world unspoken between them once more.

“I’m happy to see you,” Lili says, very softly, and Nicola sighs.

“Liliana…don’t,” he says, almost apologetic.  

Her mouth twists a little, having expected this anyway.

“It’s the duty of an Italian lady to please the man in her life,” she says flatly, sipping at her coffee in an apathetic manner.

Nicola looks at her in slight disbelief; the fact that she remembers the things he’s said with such clarity to use them against him in such a way…despite himself, he’s impressed.

“You’re not pleasing me, Liliana,” Nicola half-purrs, half-sneers. “Why do you keep doing this? Just be the good girl you’ve always been—“

“The fact that you think that is already a mistake.”

He freezes. Oh, she is good.

Lili is smiling at him, the picture of innocence and elegance, and though she could very well just be repeating his words back to him, suddenly he is questioning whether or not she means it—or rather, how much. She’s not good enough at subterfuge for her entirely personality to be a lie—plus the Falzones have watched over her for a long time. But her behavior has been different lately, hasn’t it, and Nicola wonders—why?  

“Liliana,” Nicola says carefully, “I already told you why I brought you here. If you’re looking for the act I put up back at the Falzone manor—“

“What,” Lili interrupts him, setting her cup back on its saucer with a loud clink, “An unfortunate misunderstanding.”

This time, it’s she who walks away first, letting winter crystallize behind her.  

.

He’s been unsettled since their last conversation, though he tries to put it out of his mind. It makes him more exhausted, and he hears Lili’s voice in his mind, telling him to rest, which he ignores too.

Nicola had told Gil to use and abuse him while he still could, and he still means it. He’s used to being worked hard, but it’s Lili that makes him tired, it’s Lili that—

He sighs deeply, running a hand through his hair. It’s time to admit that he does, in fact, need to rest, and thus drag his body back to the new, uncomfortable room he must call home.

As he steps through the door of the Visconti manor, he hears a low, distressed voice, and his feet are already moving before his mind can catch up.

Lili is standing in front of her door, crying. Gil is in front of her, making soothing noises, but the sight of Lili’s tears cuts Nicola to the bone, knocks the air out of his lungs. What happened? What happened?

“It’s just hard,” Lili is saying, as she puts her hands to her face, “I’m just…a little tired.”

“I can imagine,” Gil responds, leaning a little closer. “Say, Lili…”

She looks up, and Nicola’s breath catches in his throat—she is vulnerable now, scrubbed raw, and Gil…

“What if you make a different choice?” Gil asks, and Lili blinks, confused.

“What…?”

“I’m just saying that I would never make a pretty girl like you cry,” Gil says, smiling. “Instead of Nicola, why don’t you give me a shot instead?”

“Gil, I—“

The Visconti Boss leans close, opening the door behind her just as Lili steps back, and in a moment he’s practically pushed her into her room.

The door closes.

Nicola is moving again, feeling cold, cold, slamming the door open again with a bang. Lili has fallen onto her bed, eyes wide, and Gil is smirking. He rips Gil from Lili, and she sits up, a hand over her heart; Nicola struggles to remain calm as he questions just what on earth is going on here. Gil is suspiciously calm in the face of his vitriol—Nicola truly did not think Gil was this sort of person. But after some time, Gil shoots Lili a wry look.

“Guess I won that bet, huh? Or did you want to see more?”

“N-no…” Lili breathes, and Nicola glares at the Boss.

“Gilbert…what do you mean, bet?”

“Your girl here looked so pitiful that I decided to do a little role playing. Say, Nicola…how about ditching the lies for once and saving your effort for the truth instead?”

He laughs then sails out of the room. His words sink in, and Nicola curses Gil’s back with fervor.

And then, it is just the two of them.

“…Thank you, Nicola,” Lili ventures hesitantly, though she doesn’t look at him. “I didn’t think Gil was going to go that far.”

He sighs deeply, shoulders sagging.

“Well, I could tell that you truly were not enjoying the situation,” he frowns. “…Don’t scare me like that.”

She meets his eyes then, and though his brows are creased in anger, she can tell it’s not directed towards her. For a moment she looks hopeful, but then she stares down at her lap, her shoulders tensing as though she is already expecting rejection.

“Can we rebuild our relationship from the beginning?” she blurts, and she puts her face in her hands for a moment. “I don’t mind if it’s not exactly the same as before. Just…please, Nicola, don’t…don’t push me away.”  

He stares at her, and she looks up at him. There are still tears clinging to her lashes, and he remembers: I’m just…a little tired. Suddenly also remembers back at the Falzone manor, where one of his men had politely warned him don’t play around with her too much, followed up by Leo’s cheeky please treasure her, okay? We believe in you!

He sighs heavily. There is an end to all things.

“I won’t treat you as kindly as before,” he warns, but she brightens anyway, and for a second it seems like she might throw her arms around him.

He finds that he wouldn’t mind. He finds that despite his words, he wants to treat her kindly, if it means she’ll smile at him like that again.

“That’s fine!” Lili exclaims warmly, the tension bleeding out of her body. “Thank you, Nicola!”

He shakes his head; there is nothing she should show gratitude for.

“Why are you so happy?” he murmurs wryly, and she giggles a little.

“I just am,” she says, and gazes back at him.

For a moment, it is spring again, and though he still has things to do and burdens weighing upon him, Nicola leaves her room a little lighter.

.

The soldati have gotten used to turning on their heels and fleeing the premises entirely when they see Lili and Nicola together. If people linger around the edges of the snowglobe the two create for themselves when they speak, they get frostbitten—it’s always snow and sleet and squalls around these two. As such, it takes a while before some of them manage to register the softening. Lili is still the one that talks more while Nicola listens, but his lips are turned up ever so slightly now, and his eyes are gentler.

Civility. In some ways, this is scarier; the soldati have only ever seen them at odds, and though what is happening now is certainly better, it is also somewhat unsettling. Spring could be coming, or it could simply be a false alarm before a blizzard kills them all. Burlone has mild winters, but Gil grew up in America, and they’ve heard stories about how bad their winters can get, how freak storms can happen just when you think it’s starting to warm up.

The soldati watch in apprehension, Oliver watches with suspicion, Gil watches with amusement, and the temperature of the Visconti household is still entirely reliant on the two who don’t truly belong there.

.

They talk at night.

It’s truly the only time Nicola can spare, when Lili should really be in bed. But she stays up for him and her smile is so bright when he knocks and opens her door that he forgets he is tired. He owes this to her, at the least; he hadn’t bothered to think it might mean anything suggestive when she’d asked him for this favor, even as he sits on her bed, but he did tease her about it anyway just to see her blush so beautifully. It’s—comforting, to see her react this way again.

“Despite everything…I thought you’d continue to ignore me,” she admits, and he give her a wry smile.

“I should have been about to lie to you without any remorse. But you…how do I say this…” he shakes his head, shrugging helplessly. “You were…surprisingly stubborn. Even I thought I might have treated you a little too coldly, but…you really have no sense of self preservation, do you?”

She laughs a little.

“Maybe just when it comes to you,” she says, “But I also don’t believe everything you did for me was a lie.”

He’s floored on two accounts—her unintentional flirting and her optimism, though she isn’t wrong about the latter.

“It always confused me, why you were so kind to me at the Falzone manor…so when I learned it was only just to use me, well…it was oddly…relieving, to have an explanation.”

Nicola laughs disbelievingly, absolutely mystified.

“You didn’t curse me or hate me or despise me? Not even a little?”

She tilts her head, her brows furrowing as she considers, though he answer is near immediate.

“It was painful to be ignored. But hating you didn’t cross my mind.”

Nicola gapes at her.

“You’re unbelievable,” he mutters, and she simply beams at him. “Unbelievable and impossible.”

“Only to you, Signor Francesca,” she says, her eyes twinkling, and Nicola…Nicola resists the urge to reach out and touch her.

“Well?” he says instead, with a slight cough, “What do you want to talk about tonight?”  

It is evident that she wants to ask about his betrayal, but she curbs the topic just a little to ask about his and Dante’s childhood instead. Once he starts talking, it spills out of him with abandon; by the end, she’s crying, and his heart softens at the sight of her tears. She’d been downcast the first time he told her about his past too, that day he’d fallen asleep on her lap, and he’d felt an odd sort of sadness for it. Now, he is grateful for her sorrow, though it’s mixed with that same sort of strange pain.

A tear escapes her eye and rolls down her cheek; Nicola reaches out and brushes it away, his hand lingering.

“Thank you, Liliana,” he says softly.

“I didn’t do anything,” she protests, but he smiles.

“You cried for Dante, and that’s worth my thanks,” he murmurs.

They are silent for a moment; Lili looks up at him, eyes glistening, tears caught in her long lashes. Nicola gazes back; his hand cups her cheek, her lips form his name, and—

“Good night, Liliana,” he says, and rises from the bed.

Nicola leaves her room before he does anything more.

.

He is shaking by the time he makes it back to the Visconti manor from the casino, Lili in his arms, injured but alive after attempting to take a bullet for him. His mind is awhirl; she had been so strong at the summit of all the Bosses, standing her ground against the three most powerful men in Burlone, so unwavering and perfect. The meeting had gone well, despite him having to see Dante face-to-face again finally, and then…

The appearance of Roberto de Feo, his unusual interest in Lili, and the absolute inanity of his attempting to kill a mafia member in broad sight, on Arca’s neutral territory. Nicola never thought Lili would jump out in front of his shot; Roberto had been distressed too—in fact, that only one who wasn’t shocked was Lili herself. Instead, she’d been so angry at Roberto, so defensive over his slander and attempted murder of Nicola.

She’d only abated when Nicola put both hands on her shoulders and leaned in, forcing her to look at him.  

“Calm down, Liliana,” he’d said firmly, and she’d reached out both trembling hands to cup his cheeks in such sweet relief.

He could have kissed her, right then and there. But she was bleeding, her armed grazed by the bullet. There was no longer any need for either of them be at the casino, and so he’d whisked her away to safety without looking back.

“Nicola,” Lili murmurs, worried, and he bites down hard on his lip.

Even now she’s more concerned with him than herself, when she could have died.

He kicks open the door to her room, seating her on her bed so carefully as though she is made of glass.

“Why did you do that?” he demands, the floodgates cracking, and she looks at him with bewildered eyes. “You could have been killed!”

She gapes, face scrunching up.

“So could you!”

“I’m mafia! We all know what’s coming! I’ll die one day for what I do and it won’t matter. But you?” Nicola looks at her, half wild, then turns away, running a hand through his hair. “Not you, Lili.”

“I’d do it again,” Lili says hotly, her eyes suddenly flinty, and he whirls back, “I saw what was going to happen and I wasn’t thinking when I moved—all I knew was that I didn’t want you to die. You were in danger! Nicola, I—“

He closes the remaining distance between them, kissing her hard and desperate. Lili topples back onto the bed, and Nicola leans into her, twining their fingers together. She’s surprised at the turn of events but only for a moment; she squeezes his hands back tightly, her mouth opening to taste more of him, just as desperate. Nicola presses into her, his kiss all teeth and tongue and unrestrained hunger, and when Lili finally untangles their hands she is fisting hers into his hair, pulling him closer, closer.

Liliana Adornato is a giver; it is her nature, to help and to serve. It’s what she likes to do. But here, with Nicola on top of her, tears clinging to his lashes and his turquoise eyes seeing nothing but her, Lili wants to take. She’ll give him everything he wants, but for once, she wants everything of his, too—his hands, his lips, his attention, and the heat that is vaporizing any bit of ice remaining between them.

“Nicola,” Lili gasps, when they part for air, “Nicola.”

“Liliana,” Nicola murmurs back, raw and ragged.

“I’d do it again,” she whispers, and he doesn’t know if she means jump in front of a bullet or kiss him back or both. “I’d do it all again for you, Nicola.”    

“You’re unbelievable,” he whispers back, and kisses her again, gentler this time, and sweeter.

He mumbles something she can’t decipher, but she repeats his name against his mouth, sounding almost like a prayer.

The second time they part, he stares down at her, torn between agony and desire. She is flushed underneath him, breathing hard, her hair a mess and her shawl having slipped from her shoulders. But then his eyes trail to his handkerchief binding her wound; his face contorts as he regains his proper senses and he tears himself off of her.

Lili sits up, lunging forward and grabbing his arm before he can escape her room.

“Please,” she says, and Nicola looks like he’s in physical pain as he looks back at her, “Nicola, please. Don’t go.”

He goes still and they stare at each other.

“Don’t go,” she repeats, softer this time, and Nicola back towards her, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

He surrenders.

.

A light knock sounds at Lili’s door late into the night.

“Come in,” Nicola responds, and it opens just enough for Gil to slip inside.

The Visconti Boss closes the door gently and leans to the side, smiling as he meets Nicola’s eyes. He keeps his voice low as he speaks, as does Nicola.

“Oh? When you responded, I expected to see some clothes off when I opened the door.”

Nicola rolls his eyes.

“Spare me your perversions, Gil,” he says, though he shifts a little as though to shield Lili’s sleeping face.

He’s sitting up in Lili’s bed, perfectly decent, legs stretched out. The girl is nestled against his side, sleeping soundly, one hand entwined with his.

There had been no salacious activities, though the knowledge of the line almost crossed was intoxicating between them, and the sight of each other’s swollen lips was…invigorating. There had, however, been more kisses shared, but in the end he’d simply held her close and stroked her hair as she listened to the steady rhythm of his heart.

Gil smirks, but the expression bleeds from his face quickly enough.  

“She okay?”

“Yeah.”

“And you?”

A pause.

“I will be, especially once all this is over,” he says, a little bitterly, and Gil shakes his head, sighing.

“You still thinking about breaking her heart, after all that? And this?”

He gestures vaguely, and Nicola shoots him a rueful look.

“Haven’t I already?” Nicola asks, and Gil smothers a derisive laugh.

“Far from it. You can be a real idiot sometimes, you know that? Or if you’re waiting for her to break yours…if it even happens somehow, it’ll only be the death of you. You’re in too deep already, Nicola.”

He laughs softly.

“This is a lot of meddling, even for you, Gilbert,” he says, and Gil shrugs.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed but—oh, who am I kidding? You know damn well both you and the signorina have turned my manor upside down since you’ve gotten here. Call it self-preservation, for the Family. And besides…I like you, Nicola.”

“Heart’s already taken, Gilbert.”

“Oh, now you admit it?”

Nicola looks down at Lili.

“I’m a dead man walking,” he tries, echoing a past conversation of theirs, but Gil snorts.

“For God’s sake, Nicola, just let her win.”

Gil walks out without waiting for a response, and Nicola is left alone with Lili again.

She’d fallen asleep quickly, despite their heated kisses earlier; all her adrenaline from the casino had finally worn off, leaving her exhausted. He’d assured her he would stay until she fell asleep, laying a hand over her eyes, so reminiscent of her first night at the Falzone manor. He feels at ease beside her, at peace looking at her sleeping face and hearing her breathe slow and even.

He hadn’t been lying to Gil, a moment ago. He still is a dead man walking, no matter how much Gil likes him. It’s Family first, in the mafia, and though he may be a Visconti now, he isn’t one truly. It’ll be an easy choice, if it comes down to him or another Visconti member. He is no longer a Falzone either; betrayal isn’t tolerated, and even if half of the Family doesn’t believe in his betrayal yet, the other half is out for his blood.  

Hell, and Roberto is too, so that’s part of the police force as well.  

The odds are stacked against him, but he still has his goals to achieve, plans that he’s laid for years. Since childhood, when Dante told him through tears that he hated the mafia and no longer wanted to be a part of it.

Nicola will see his plans come to fruition or die trying—freeing Dante is the one thing he will sacrifice himself for. Liliana…precious as she’s become, she does not supplant that.

The girl in question shifts, pressing herself closer against him, sighing softly.

“Nicola…” she murmurs, and he brushes a curl of hair from her cheek.

He only said he would stay until she fell asleep. Nicola has sat here for hours now, unable to bring himself to move.

Slowly, gently, he disentangles his fingers from hers and bends down to press one last kiss to her forehead.

.

He’s still there in the morning.

[teawithshruti]

How did I keep myself sane amidst a pandemic - My thoughts on books, anime, and restaurants.

Yet another review of The Shining

A plot so well written you would want to go in room 217

Hi there! This blog comes to you from a bored 19 year old who has a knack for reading crime thrillers, watching murder documentaries, and loves watching MasterChef just to see Gordon Ramsay. LOL. And did I mention that she also happens to be a Stephen King fan, because who isn’t? So here is where I try and convince you that The Shining  is the best book ever written and how Stanley Kubrick completely butchered the screenplay, as well as why pasta is life.

Welcome to the Rockies!

The story takes place in the town of Boulder, Colorado, where our main protagonist Jack Torrance gets a job as a caretaker of the famous Overlook Hotel. Winters in Boulder are harsh, and the hotel remains closed as travel is not permitted with all the heavy snowfall. Now Jack is a recovering alcoholic with anger issues which led to him breaking his son’s arm prior to where the story begins. This made Wendy, his wife, question her marriage and the safety of their five year old son,  Danny. Danny on the other hand isn’t your average five year old who just watches cartoons and plays with toys. He is aglow with a psychic voltage, and has frequent blackouts. In the words of old Mr Hallorann, the hotel’s head chef, Danny’s a shiner. When the Torrances meet Mr Hallorann, he feels an instant connection with Danny. He warns Jack about the hotel and its sinister secrets and how the previous caretaker, Delbert Grady, killed himself and his family. But Jack is sure that this huge and lonely hotel with its splendid views is just what he needs in order to earn back his family’s trust. But going to a haunted hotel with a troubled marriage and a psychic son? Maybe not the best idea. But in his defense, Jack doesn't believe in ghosts. Little does he know that’s about to change.

Snowbound at The Overlook

The Torrance's begin settling in the Overlook. But as winter closes in and the blizzards cut them off from the outer world, the hotel seems to develop a life of its own. Meanwhile, Jack starts growing restless, craving for a friendly drink with each passing day. He also starts experiencing hallucinations, and wonders if they are withdrawal symptoms. Danny on the other hand is experiencing his own share of ghostly sightings, like the terrifying lady in the bathtub of room 217 who seems to have never checked out of the hotel. In one instance, he witnesses her climbing out of the clawfoot tub and advancing towards him with her bloated belly and dry hair as he stands frozen in fear in a blood covered presidential suite. This narrative by King with all its details is the truly the most spine tingling I’ve ever read.  Later when Danny’s parents find him in the room, a thumb in his mouth, that is when Wendy truly realizes that they are not alone in that strange big hotel. Jack goes and sees the tub for himself, but the lady from before doesn't want to greet him. Wendy, in tears, sees that both her husband and her son are being tormented by this place and begs Jack to quit the job. Danny later calms his mom down, who is weeping uncontrollably, by telling her not to worry as his daddy doesn't have the shining, so there is nothing to worry about.

Have you never heard of REDRUM?

Sure you have. Read it backwards.  Yes, you got it right. And so did Danny after seeing this word in his visions countless times. It so turns out that Danny is much stronger than he looks and after failing to possess him, The Overlook has turned to an easier target - Jack. As Jack slowly starts to lose his mind, he gives in and starts drinking again from the bar in the ballroom. His hallucinations keep getting worse to the point he actually sees Mr Grady, the previous caretaker / murderer,  and even has a talk with him. Danny sees his changing behavior and so does his wife, who just doesn't see the man she fell in love with in his cold, distant eyes anymore. With everything going on, Wendy takes Danny to their apartment in the employee wing of the hotel and locks them inside in fear of Jack, who is slowly slipping away from reality. But turns out this move from her proves to be disastrous, as Wendy keeping Jack away from his own son is the last straw for him. In one of his many hallucinations, Jack  meets his predecessor,  his buddy Mr. Grady and the two have a disturbing conversation about how fun it is to kill your wife. Yes , no one trumps King when it comes to the unique combination of horror and psychological thrillers packed into one nail-biting plot!

In other words...

The only thing I liked about the movie was Jack Nicholson’s excellent acting. Apart from that Stanley Kubrick let go of many crucial parts which were essential to the story. He eliminated the hedge sequence in the book, which was terrifying to just read. The ending was just a complete mess.  I get that you can’t exactly get all the details right of a 500 page book, but at least do justice to the ones you have chosen. Anyways I’m gonna go sulk in my room over this. Bye

.  

Is it too late to start Anime?

Hi there! Good to have you back! Ever since pandemic began, everyone’s been locked in their own house. So this led to me taking up a few hobbies like sketching and painting and binging on a whole lot of sitcoms.. My personal favorite is the alluring world of Anime. Several of my friends began watching it and I cannot exactly term it as peer pressure, but I did give in and start watching Anime too. And now my watchlist includes just a bunch of 2D characters with powers that even Superman himself can't fight. So this is my take on how a kryptonian can be defeated with Jutsu, as Mr Naruto would say. Lol. This one is for all the weebs out there. 

Manga and Anime are not the same!

To put it simply, manga is a Japanese term for comics and graphic novels, whereas Anime is the term for Japanese animations.. There are many similarities  between them, as they both have been created by Osama Tezuka, who is considered as the Japanese version of Walt Disney. Now have you ever seen a simple comic book? The one with black and white newspaper illustrations - like Garfield. Manga is just like that -  A book of illustrations. Now we arrive at the perennial question - Manga or Anime, which is better. Both of them are equally interesting, but I personally have a soft spot for anime. The intro theme songs, intense background music, and the beat dropping right before a big fight move, all these factors pack a punch. You don’t get that adrenaline rush from just a book.

My first anime - Demon Slayer

The story begins with the main character Tanjiro, who returns home after selling charcoal in town to find his entire family murdered by demons. Pretty intense right? His sister, Nezuko, survives but there’s a twist - she turns into a demon herself.  This makes him vow to take revenge and he sets off to train with Sakonji, who has trained many of the elite members of the Demon Slayer Corps. After many years of training and a painful exam called the final selection, Tanjiro finally becomes a demon slayer and is off on missions along with his sister, who unlike most demons doesn’t consume human flesh. On his missions he meets Zenitsu and Inosuke, who both have excellent powers of their own. My favorite story arc was when the highest ranking slayers, known as the pillars, were introduced. But my words won’t do justice to their powers they possess. So simply get your geek on by watching this short yet amazing series.

The Tale of Naruto Uzumaki

The hidden leaf village is not so hidden anymore! The series I am currently watching is one of the most popular anime from 2020 - Naruto.   The story is set around the shinobi villages and their ninjas and how Naruto Uzumaki plans on being the next Hokage [the most powerful shinobi] of the leaf village. He is trained by some of the best ninjas the village has ever seen. Before graduating from the academy, he was a hyperactive boy with lots of energy who just wanted to be the best. After graduation, he was placed in team seven, along with Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha. This team was trained by Kakashi Sensei who is known for wielding his Chidori and even the Sharingan. The sharingan, to put it simply, is a trait passed down in families. The Uchihas are known for their sharingans and hence it naturally comes to Sasuke as well. The mystery still remains unsolved as to how Kakashi got his sharingan, as he is not an Uchiha. But Naruto does have a super power as well. Not technically his powers per se,  but we can cut him some slack. After all it's not everyday you get to see a beast like the nine tailed fox sealed away in an 11 year old boy. In my opinion the story picks up Orochimaru’s entry, and it paves the way for Sasuke’s powers in the future. My favorite character has to be Sasuke Uchiha. With his effortless fighting skills and sarcastic yet cool personality, he definitely is an excellent shinobi. You have to start this show right away because once you have seen him use his fire style fireball jutsu.....the world just doesn't look the same anymore.

In other words...

My current watchlist includes Naruto Shippuden, Black Clover, One Piece, and a few other naruto spin offs. Anime was something I never thought I would like, but now as it turns out I can't get enough of it. So bye for now, if you need me I'll be at Ichiraku’s eating ramen with barbeque pork. And if you get this reference, have a bowl of ramen on me. K bye.

Home in a faraway land

Good to see you again ! Do you ever get that feeling of an intense craving for your favourite dish? Like say pasta or pizza? My favorite is pasta, but being raised in India, I can’t say no to a classic plate of butter naan and chicken tikka with a glass of buttermilk or chaas if you please. Of Course you can’t beat the taste of a home cooked meal, but let me tell you about the time I went to this amazing little Indian restaurant in Dubai with my family, and how the food there was absolutely heavenly. 

Out and About in Dubai

Skyscrapers, Sleepless nights, Gold Souks and gigantic malls - these are the visions  you'd usually get when someone mentions Dubai. Well, they're mostly right! I went there with my family about 5 years ago. We stayed at the Ramada, which was right next to the Dubai Mall.  The mall happens to be strategically placed next to the Burj Khalifa and we got lucky enough to see mesmerizing musical fountain shows night after night. The streets are spick and span, and everyone follows the traffic regulations dutifully. We also went for the desert safari, which was no less than an actual roller coaster ride. We also visited the Gold Souk, and oh boy. The name definitely fulfills its purpose, as the entire street is occupied entirely by gold stores. Huge gold ornaments are on display like clothes on hangers. I personally don’t have a thing for gold jewellery, but my mom had the time of her life there fawning and gasping over every store we came across. Shortly after our visit here, we came across this beautiful little Indian restaurant, and you can call me old school but at the end of the day, this girl needs a desi meal, because trust me room service gets boring after a while.

Peshwa - Not your typical 5 star restaurant 

Situated away from the hustle of the main city, this place still remains quite underrated. We stumbled across this hidden gem which saved us the efforts of getting back to the hotel for an overpriced lunch. As soon as we entered the restaurant, we could smell the aroma of a classic dal makhani  [ a simple gravy consisting of lentils infused with aromatic spices and hints of burnt chillies ] in the air. So we got a table and had a look at the menu and it was almost like being back home. The endless variety of gravies with paneer in almost every single one of them, to at least 6 different types of rotis, a little piece of heaven in this concrete jungle! We went ahead and ordered a simple meal of rotis and some paneer delicacy, along with dal and rice. Apart from the taste of the food, which was just heavenly, the overall ambience of the place in one word, was exquisite. The restaurant lived up to its very ethnic maharashtrian name. The food was served in those traditional style cutlery, reminding us of a simpler time.

A dish you just can’t miss 

If you have a sweet tooth like me, you definitely have to try the coconut barfi from this place. Made from desiccated coconuts, sweetened condensed milk, a finely ground cardamom, and a hint of saffron, this dish is a match made in heaven. It was freshly made and we could tell it by the intoxicating aroma of pure ghee [clarified butter]. So just for a day, give yourself a break from watching calories and try this mouth watering dish because here’s something to live for.

In other words…

The next time I’m in Dubai, the first thing I will do is find out if the restaurant is still there. And probably avoid the Gold Souk this time. I will most certainly go for the desert safari, because it’s not everyday you get defy gravity and drive through the sand dunes like in a Fast and Furious movie. Lol.  Also thanks for bearing with me throughout this blog. See ya!

[mapleandgingeroatmeal]

CR2E76-Refjorged

HOLY SHIT THIS EPISODE HAD EVERYTHING. WHERE DO I EVEN START?? This is gonna be a long one for sure.

The spontaneous Mead Pong game was so fun. I love how they all just went for that, and Caleb getting a perfect shot only when nobody was watching? Priceless.

They haven’t really done a heist w/ Caduceus. have they? Unless you count boarding that one ship, but I don’t think you can since that wasn’t a stealth thing. It’s weird, but that detail felt like almost a mark of how far the Nein have come already

I’m sure people have written a lot about this (I’d love meta recs if anyone has ‘em), but that makes me think about what may have changed about the m9′s path if Molly had stayed alive. Clay has been such a huge force in pushing the nein to do good in the world, and although he has plenty of his own issues, I think the fact that he believes in everyone’s ability to be good people has really had a huge impact. This may be a Hot Take, maybe I’ll regret this cause idk what Molly fans are like, but I really don’t think the group would have made nearly as much moral and emotional progress w out Caduceus. They would probably be at least a lot closer to crossing over that line into Bad People.

THE BREAD. This is another famous joke that I new existed, but had no context or knowledge for. I was so excited when I heard it come up! Caleb and polymorph is such a delightful combo. The dumb brain really lets him escape his misery I think, and he had such a gleeful face and relaxed posture for that whole scene.

“Last time we did this, you put a sword to my throat”. Whatta callback! Despite how much everything has changed, Fjord and Caleb still have this interesting intensity to their relationship. The moment when they start a mysterious blood ritual and Caleb’s accent confrontation come to mind. I hope we get more in the future about how these two interact in a more casual setting, tbh, because at this point I have a hard time pinning down their dynamic. The trust is definitely there now, and all the Nein obviously love each other, but in many ways it feels almost delicate? Like in the scene from this ep, I think both of them probably reflect on that day thinking they were in the right, even if they’ve moved on. Interesting stuff!

The reactions when Nott murdered that guard were so priceless. Little moments like that are kinda sobering reminders of how broken she is. Since probably the moment that Veth killed that Goblin leader with a vile of acid, she’s led a life that seems to have been very much kill-or-be-killed. Empire people aren’t taught to see Goblins as much more than kill-on-sight monsters, and in a self-defense situation Nott is so small that she would really have only one chance before getting overpowered. It’s upsetting and definitely bad, but I think it makes a lot of sense that her first instinct when panicked is to go for the throat.

Caduceus is truly such a dummy and I love him for it. The man knows two things: Death and People. Nothing else. Strategy? Never heard of her. High-stakes stealth mission with an important decision to make? “it’s always nice to see my friends :)”. 

Whats in the book they stole! We didn’t find out for the entire episode if I’m not mistaken! Caleb just gave to Fjord with some cryptic comments! Wtf kind of book isn’t useful/ interesting to Caleb? This is going to drive me insane.

The pack-rat elf lady wearing Reani’s crown finally was v sweet. She was a character that Matt seemed to hint at a lot of depth for. I wonder if we’ll ever get back to Uthadorn? I’d like to see her again

The dusts are also a bunch of npcs that I kinda wish we’d gotten more time with! The way that Matt had the whole family and their personalities mapped out makes me feel like there was a lot that didn’t get explored there. Clay has a tendency to minimize his own priorities and as much as it’s a neat character choice, I wish it didn’t mean that we see less of the neat stuff around his arc!

Fjord’s dream sequence had me tearing up. Matt’s writing is just so emotionally intelligent and deep. The specification that the Wild Mother can ease the pain but the wound will always be there? That hit me so goddamn hard. I love this character. 

If I think too much about what this sword-collecting arc means for Fjord I’m gonna start crying again. Here’s a guy that grew up unloved, with nobody that ever cared enough to give him anything. He was so recently convinced that the Nein only cared about him while he was useful. And what happens once he looses all utility to the group? They give him magic weapons, and circle around to protect him, and face down a fucking ancient white dragon, all just to get him a gift from the Wild Mother. What does that feel like to a man who’s never ever had a family before? Can he even really recognize the kind of devotion the m9 just displayed? I hope once he has a quiet moment he can do some reflection and appreciate how much he is just unconditionally supported now. I want him to understand that he is loved.

Beau and Reani! I did remember right! They are adorable and everyone’s reaction at the table was priceless. That moment had a neat meta-level feel to it w/ the addition of Mica as a guest character. I could tell she was feeling out if this was a role-play boundary or not, just like Reani was feeling out if Beau was interested. Beau going in for the kiss out of nowhere was also Marisha signaling “yes please bang my hot gay monk”. A perfect ending for a wonderful character!

Jester and Caduceus almost judgy convo was actually fascinating to me, because it kinda highlighted one of my favorite things about Beau in that she breaks the norms arounf sexualy agency that you usually see with female charecters. She’s an action movie protag, casually banging hot ladies and hiring sex workers, and she’s celebrated for it like you would celebrate that behavior in james bond! I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a female character that does that before.

I could talk about Caleb and Nott’s conversation here for fucking hours, and I think I’m gonna actually do a whole separate post about it so this doesn’t get too long. Why is every interaction they have just the most poignant beautiful incredible moment ever committed to film?  What did the world do to deserve this? Nothing. We do not deserve them. 

Fjord getting his powers back and celebrating and the callback to Nott turning into a tiny Fjord and Eldritch Blaaaaaaayyyst returning and being wrapped up in seaweed and awkwardly objectified by Jester and Caduceus big goofy grin and all of it was such a joyful, hopeful note to end on! More than ever the Nein are feeling like a family, with all the wonderful messy things that entails, and I couldn’t be happier about it. I’m going to go watch Nott and Caleb and cry again.

[darklove9314-blog]

Nesta:A fae with a human heart part 12

Alright let's get into what I think is a key factor in what is happneing to Nesta and Cassian's relationship, Whicb is that Nesta was born human. and even though she turned fae doesn't mean she still doesn't want to keep that human side of her, Remember the library scene in ACOWAR when Nesta says that they don't respect any of their values or traditions. I think this may also play a factor. You see when you have a lot of differences and grew up in two seprate ways it takes compromise and balance to keep the relationship going. My hugest problem is that everyone is trying to push Nesta to accept the fae side of herself and let go of Her more human side, which Nesta never wants to lose. She loved being human. Sure she didn't have the best circumstance, but her choices were at least somewhat hers and she could be made a name for herself but as a fae she feels stuck. like an outsider looking in. She's struggled to accept her fae side more than Elain and Feyre have because she has a hard time adjusting to new circumstances. it happens to a lot of people.

And believe it or not, Nesta has lost nearly all her comnections to the human lands. The place where she grew up and thought she would grow old in. It really hurt her to lose that and now she tries to find whatever connection she can hold onto. Hence her choice of apartment, possibly talking to the citzens of the night court who don't have it that easy, her books,her right to chose who she loses her virginity to, and last but not least the solstice gift.

Now Nesta has already stated that they don't celebrate holidays in the human lands and Nesta no matter how much people want to perceive her as such doesn't strike me as a materialistic type. I think rejecting the gift was about way more than the fact that Cassian hadn't been talking to her, maybe she found it as another way of disregarding her values and traditions.or maybe she was also reluctant to take it because there were so many around her that still had nothing at all. She didn't know Cassian had spent months searching for it. How could she possibly know that? and she may have even accepted it, if he had not given it to her in private. Now I knkw Nesta is a private person. However Nesta is already questioning if Cassian feels ashamed of his feelings for her. And giving it to her in private might have worsened those feelings. We also don’t know who told the IC about Nesta having sex in the first place. That’s a private and personal thing. Another reason Nesta may have been sleeping with people is because she was feeling numb. She was searching for something, anything to make her feel better. To evoke any feeling she could. Remember how in Nesta’s apartment she was looking at the check to try to evoke her shame emotion, because all she felt on rare occasions was her anger. What if sleeping with all the males was another way she was trying to evoke her shame??Also she also states that she would drink herself to sleep at night to avoid the nightmares. Nightmares that are probably so horrific that it caused her to not sleep much at all. If at all. So yeah I can see why overall she rejected his gift and even if those factors weren’t there it’s within Nesta’s basic rights to reject Cassian’s advances. it’s not bitchy. It’s a basic right one of very few she still has. Now let’s get to another point that I’m going to make, the mating bond is not helping them. Yes Cassian thinks it’s this beautiful thing but that’s not the case with most mating bonds. To Nesta she observes everything. She observed how all these woman despite if they wanted to be with their mate or not felt pressured by their societal views to accept their bond to further their line (aka Rhysand’s parents, Tamlin’s parents, and the lady of the autumn court) Even Elain is being pressured to accept hers despite her and Lucien hardly having anything in common and both not being each other’s type. Why would Nesta think her bond was any different?? There’s very few examples of any of them accepting it for love. Therefore reminding her of what she went through with Tomas in the human lands. Now we know Cassian isn’t Tomas, but people tend to forget that for a while at least Nesta deluded herself into thinking he cared about her. Only to find out that he was a monster when he refused to go help her save Feyre and when he sexually assaulted her (He was also abusive. hence Nesta not liking when people touch her and how Feyre said Nesta flinched from peoples touch) So of course any relationship she’s goes in going forward she’s going to be cautious about and why wouldn’t she??She hasn’t had the worst experience with men and them taking things from her, Hence the fierce loyalty she has for respecting others choices no matter how stupid they may be. And I would also like to bring up a section of Wings and Embers, a section that led up to most of what happened between Nesta and Cassian. There was one line after Nesta and Cassian had questioned if someone had hurt Nesta because he saw the fear on her face. She asks if it would change his opinion of her if someone had, make him treat her differently. (She doesn’t want anyone to feel sympathy towards her remember that Nesta hates it when people fake liking her) and he tells her that he would shatter every bone in their body. Which she proceeds to respond with you hardly know me why would you do that for me and he tells her he would do it for anyone. It was that sincerity that made her see him differently. Sure it also drove her crazy because it reminded her of her own faults, but that does tend to happen. And then she thinks about how Cassian sees her. All of her. The side that she tends to hide people where most human men only saw her body. She also tells Cassian that men had been pawing at her since she had been fourteen. Remember how she said that some of her words are barbed with truth, this proves that a lot of it was how men would do that to her. Would only look at her body and not be intrigued by anything else about her like you know her mind. Or the huge amount of love that she has that she hides from people to avoid getting hurt. That’s where the mating bond complicates things for them. And makes her have to question nearly everything because there’s a major difference between someone listing after you and someone loving you. love is more about just loving someone for the good parts of them or the sides you want to see. It’s about accepting that there’s parts of a person you’re not going to like. And finding ways to coexist with them. Also remember that courting is such a huge thing when it comes to Nesta’s traditions and Cassian had revealed that he hadn’t even tried to court her. Therefore presenting another issue. I think she felt rushed like things between her and Cassian were going too fast too soon. Nesta with everything she’s been through it’s understandable that she would want a relationship to take its time to develop and that’s a perfectly reasonable expectation. Especially from an SA victim. Sometimes things take time to develop. Maybe she wants to have an actual relationship before getting into anything super serious. Like a mating bond where they’re bound for life. you know like marriage, kids, etc. And as much as I love Nessian, they hardly know each other. Yes they know each other better than most and that’s important but Cassian doesn’t know everything about Nesta and Nesta doesn’t know everything about Cassian. They need time, understanding, and patience to make their relationship work. That’s why rushing them or pressuring them into accepting the bond isn’t helping matters. And what if Nesta doesn’t want a mate but a husband instead?? She wants everything to be for love, she wants to accept the love from Cassian but like most she’s scared of it not working out because their differences and all the obstacles standing in their way. Not to mention they have a lot to deal with as individuals before they could ever be together. And that’s perfectly okay, They’re immortal, they have time, and then we get to the part where Nesta probably gave up hope for her and Cassian. The scene where he told her that her sisters loved her and he couldn’t imagine why. Not only is that so cruel to say after everything Nesta has been through and all she did to protect him and others, but it was not only the part of about her sisters but the I can’t imagine why part. Nesta remembers everything people say to her. You don’t think the I can’t imagine why made her reevaluate everything and think that Cassian didn’t love her. Made her think that she had deluded herself into thinking that he did and made her also think that the only reason he was trying was the obligation towards the mating bond. That’s why the void entering her eyes was so important. That was Nesta completely giving up on herself. And feeling like there was not only no hope for her and Cassian, but for herself. Now I know Cassian didn’t really think about what he was saying, because of his anger at the situation. But that’s what hurt them the most. That’s why Nesta is so pissed and she has every right to be. And then after that he wants her to open up to him and talk to him, Hence her snort, because not only did he just insult her and basically made her think she was unlovable, but because he doesn’t know what it’s like to blame yourself for nearly everything (as far as she knows) including your fathers death, what happened to your sisters. And he also doesn’t know what it’s like to die inside over and over again.To feel like your losing yourself as you turn into something else. (Her human side vanishing in favor of her fae side) so she lets go of her humanity completely that night. Flips off her switch as some of my Vampire Diaries fans would say, because the pain became too much. Too unbearable. Hence the more self destructive behavior and not caring what happens to her. Because I firmly believe that that was the night Nesta killed a part of herself and became death itself. Hence the symbolism of Nesta’s power being death because she has died in several different ways. And I firmly believe that ACOSF will be about her journey back to herself and I can’t wait for it. I can’t wait for Nesta to find herself again, and learn to love her life and herself again. Because It’s what I want the most from her, and it will be truly beautiful to see.

[minervacasterly]

Mary’s Letters & Submission:

Today on June tenth 1536 Mary wrote to her father and Cromwell, of the former she sent Cromwell a copy begging him to restore her to favor: “Most humbly I prostrate before your noble feet, your most obedient subject and humble child, that hath not only repented her offences hitherto, but also decreed simply from henceforth and wholly next to Almighty God, to put my state, continuance and living in your gracious mercy.”

In her letter to Cromwell she said she would submit to her father’s demands as long as they didn’t offend her conscience:

“I trust you shall perceive that I have followed your advice and counsel, and will do in all things concerning my duty to the King’s Grace (God and my conscience not offended) for I take you for one of my chief friends, next unto his Grace and the Queen.

Wherefore, I desire you, for the passion which Christ suffered for you and me, and as my very trust is in you, that you will find such means through your great wisdom, that I be not moved to agree to any further entry in this matter than I have done. But if I be put to any more (I am plain with you as with my great friends) my said conscience will in no way suffer me to consent thereunto.”

Cromwell’s response was to submit to all of her father's demands but Mary wrote back saying that she wouldn't.

“Good Master Secretary,

I do thank you with all my heart, for the great pain and suit you have had for me for which I think myself very much bound to you. And whereas I do perceive by your letters, that you do mislike mine exception in my letter to the King’s Grace, I asure you, I did not mean as you do take it. For I do not mistrust that the King’s goddness will move me to do anything, which should offend God and my conscience. But that which I did write was only by the reason of continual custom. For I have always used, both in writing and speaking, to except God in all things.

Nevertheless, because you have exhorted me to write to His Grace again, and I cannot devise what I should write more but your own last copy, without adding or diminishing; therefore I do send you by this bearer, my servant, the same, word for word; and it is unsealed, because I cannot endure to write another copy. For the pain in my head and teeth hath troubled me so sore these two or three days and doth yet so continue, that I have very small rest, day or night.

Your assured bounded loving friend during my life,

Mary"

With the same determination, she wrote to her father:

“I have written twice unto Your Highness, trusting to have, by some gracious letters, token or message, perceived sensibly the mercy, clemency and pity of Your Grace, and upon the operation of the same, at the last also to have attained the fruition of your most noble presence, which above all worldly things I desire: yet I have not obtained my said fervent and hearty desire, nor any piece of the same to my great and intolerable discomfort I am enforced, by the compulsion of nature, effstones to cry unto your merciful ears, and most humbly prostrate before your feet for some little spark of my humble suit and desire praying to God to preserve Your Highness, with the Queen, and shortly to send you issue which shall be gladder tidings to me that I can express in writing,

Your Most Humble and Obedient Daughter and Handmaid,

Mary.”

Mary’s boldness infuriated Henry further who was getting frustrated with her stubbornness and he sent a delegation of councilors to confront Mary. At the head of this council was the Duke of Norfolk who told Mary that if she was his daughter he would punish her behavior by bashing her head against the wall until it was soft like a boiled apple. Later Chapuys visited her and told her that her cousin the Emperor was also urging her to submit, if she did not then her father would surely killed her. Mary never believed her father would go to such lengths but recent developments had made her see otherwise. Henry was not the same man Mary knew as a child. Any man or woman who defied Henry’s position as Head of the Church would be put to death, Mary was no different.

On June 22, Mary finally signed. The document entitled “The Confession of Me the Lady Mary” stipulated that she was a bastard born of incest and her parents’ marriage had been invalid.

“I do freely, frankly recognize and acknowledge that the marriage heretofore had between His Majesty and my mother (the late Princess Dowager) was by God’s law and Man’s law, incestuous and unlawful.

(Signed) MARY”

Mary was quickly back in favor and reestablished in her father’s court. Her submission had saved her life but cost her dearly. The imperial ambassador wrote that “this affair of the Princess has tormented her more than you think” and indeed it had, but it had also made her stronger. Chapuys would later write that Mary had become more pragmatic and conciliatory than her mother and her good understanding of people and politics had left her with many friends and allies at court.

Sources: Inside the Tudor Court by Lauren Mackay, The Myth of Bloody Mary by Linda Porter and Mary Tudor by Anna Whitelock.

[chameli]

This is for the lovely Olivia @changshapatrol and anyone else who wants to get to know Divya or relive their childhood memories of her. This list mostly includes her Hindi films because due to lack of subtitles, I haven’t seen a lot of her Telugu ones (although I really want to!!!). This took me forever to write, so I hope you find something that appeals to your tastes. Click the title of the film to watch it. Enjoy!

Bobbili Raja | 1990 | Telugu: First things first, the songs are SO good. This is Divya’s debut film and she plays a spoiled rich girl named Rani. Her character is annoying at first, but she gets better as the film progresses. Rani is in love with Raja, but their relationship is vehemently opposed by Rani’s shrewd politician mother. The chemistry between Divya and Venkatesh is cute. They bicker a lot at first, get caught up in hijinks, but then fall in love. 

Dil Ka Kya Kasoor | 1992 | Hindi: Divya plays the role of Shalini aka Shalu, a wealthy girl who has a passion for poetry. She is secretly in love with her classmate Arun, who despises her due to her rude behavior. This is one of her finest performances and she absolutely carries the film on her shoulders. Shalu is a complex character whom Divya played beautifully. She goes from being a brat, to a heartbroken girl who realizes she will never have her love, then finally someone who does not have much time to live. The ending is a tad bit dramatic, but oh well. Suresh Oberoi is endearing as Shalu’s older brother/father figure and Manjeet Kullar as her loving bhabhi. The songs are absolutely beautiful and melodious.

Deewana | 1992 | Hindi: The film that catapulted Divya into stardom. Despite a massive age difference with Rishi Kapoor, I think they actually had great chemistry. Divya is excellent as Kajal, a sweet yet sassy girl who is obsessed with her favorite singer, Ravi Kapoor. They fall in love, get married, and have a fairytale romance until her husband is murdered on their honeymoon. As the widowed Kajal, Divya expresses her grief and pain through her beautiful eyes. The once spunky girl is now a somber widow, until love finds her again. She looks absolutely adorable with SRK, who was then a newcomer. This is one film I can never get tired of watching. The ending still gets me to this day. The soundtrack is full of gems which still hold a place in my heart. Divya absolutely shines in this film.

Dil Aashna Hai | 1992 | Hindi: This is the story of Sitara, a cabaret dancer who is in search of her birth mother. However, she finds out it could be one of three very influential women. I’m not sure why this film was a flop, but I enjoyed it. Divya was fantastic and definitely held her own against the three more established actresses she shared space with. That being said, I really enjoyed the scenes showing the ladies bonding with Divya. They were so sweet. SRK plays the supportive love interest but he’s mostly in the background. He and Divya look incredibly adorable together, especially in the title song.

Geet | 1992 | Hindi: Divya is Neha, a popular singer who is sabotaged by her sleazy manager, played by the perpetually gross Shakti Kapoor. She then retreats to a small village where she meets Raja, her biggest stan (seriously, the guy is kind of a stalker). He paints posters for her concerts, but he wasn’t present at the last show where tragedy struck. Neha wants to put everything behind her but Raja keeps pestering her until she’s had enough. She plays a nasty trick on him, but they resolve their issues and become friends. I thought the hero was super annoying at first, but then I had a change of heart because he’s super endearing as he helps Neha claim what’s rightfully hers. The soundtrack is fantastic and so are the picturizations. I also really liked Divya’s clothes and styling in this film.

Dil Hi To Hai | 1992 | Hindi: This is actually a Jackie Shroff film, but Divya is an important character as well. Jackie plays identical twin princes: Harshvardhan, who is expected to take the throne and Govardhan, who is dorky and cowardly. Harshvardhan is fed up with his parents’ expectations, so he switches places with his twin and runs away. He and his royal adviser (played by the iconic Kader Khan) settle in a basti. He pretends to be a regular guy and meets Bharati (played by Divya), who HATES rich and privileged people. The other heroine is Shilpa Shirodkar, who is SMOKIN’. The main thing I really liked about this film is that they address mental health issues. Harsh feels trapped and lonely; he wants a life outside of the palace and riches. He just wants to be a regular person. His father basically tells him how to live his life, but Harsh wants to choose his own destiny.  Simultaneously, Govardhan learns to be more confident. This is something I haven’t really seen in the 90s, tbh. I like this film and I think it’s really underrated.

Kshatriya | 1993 | Hindi: Oh boy. This film has a HUGE starcast and a complex plot that spans two generations. But you know what? I love it. I constantly watch this one a lot and I don’t know why. The songs are wonderful and Divya has a small part, but she’s as charming and effervescent as ever. Basically it’s about two warring kingdoms who’ve suffered through their own Romeo & Juliet tragedy, and now are even more bitter towards each other. Divya’s love interest is Sanjay Dutt (YUCK!) and her character is very bubbly and cute. Especially in the song Main Khichi Chali Aayi Piya. There’s loads of violence, melodrama, and action but I enjoyed it. It was also Divya’s last release while she was alive.

Rang | 1993 | Hindi: This was the first film to be released after Divya’s death. Divya plays Kajal, a wealthy (and a bit spoiled) girl who lives with her mother Indu (Amrita Singh), awful grandmother (Bindu), and sweet yet passive grandfather (Kader Khan). Kajal falls in love with Yogi, which I can’t figure out WHY. Dude is so so bland and extremely unattractive. I guess he’s smart? Anyway, another girl is also in love with him. Pooja (Ayesha Jhulka) is a traditional, sweet girl who lives with her single father Ajay (Jeetendra). It turns out, the two girls are actually - *gasp* - SISTERS! But they have no idea and don’t find this out until way later. We get to see the dysfunctional relationships between all the characters: the parents, separated by a cruel streak of fate and misunderstandings. The sisters, in love with the same guy but unwilling to give him up. And finally, the grandparents: the passive husband who finally stands up to his witchy wife, who has ruined her daughter’s life and broke up her family. The songs are lovely, especially Tujhe Na Dekhoon and Tumhe Dekhen Meri Aankhein. There’s a really sweet tribute to Divya at the end which never fails to make me cry.

Shatranj | 1993 | Hindi: Divya’s last film. This is a remake of Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi. It’s a comedy/drama about three brothers who own a garage and hate women. Actually the older brother (played by Kader Khan) does, because of a childhood trauma involving his evil stepmother (rolling my eyes). So he raises his two younger brothers to follow suit. But they end up falling in love and try keeping it a secret from big brother. Jackie Shroff with Divya, who keeps showing up at the garage, and Mithun with Juhi (a very odd-looking pairing). It’s a fun yet drama filled comedy. I liked the scenes where the two couples are trying to make the older brother fall in love with the girl who’s obsessed with him. But the best thing about this film? Divya and Juhi, my two favorite actresses. Both ladies are absolutely stunning.

- Special Mentions -

Jaan Se Pyara | 1992 | Hindi: This is a cop drama which stars Govinda in a double role. Divya plays Sharmila, his girlfriend. She doesn’t have that many scenes but is an absolute delight none the less. Sharmila is feisty and sassy but also supportive and caring towards her man. Divya and Govinda have the best chemistry. I love their silly/playful bickering and banter. The scenes between her and the family are sweet as well. This film also has really great songs. My favorite Divya song EVER: Bin Tere Kuch Bhi Nahin. The picturization is lovely and the song is peak 90s romance. Chanchal Chandni has a sensual vibe while Taale Laga Le is super fun and upbeat. tbh I just watched Divya’s scenes and not the full film, so idk what happens.

Dushman Zamana | 1992 | Hindi: Okay, this film is just way too dramatic. Divya plays Seema, a rich girl who is actually nice and not bratty for a change. She’s in love with her schoolmate Vijay (the unattractive and untalented Armaan Kohli). Of course, he’s poor. And OF COURSE her father (Paresh Rawal) HATES him and constantly reminds Vijay he’s worthless. Paresh, who I usually think is a great actor, was way too much of a cartoon villain. The saving grace is that Divya looked extremely beautiful in this film. Plus, the song Mausam Pyaara Bheega Bheega is pure perfection. 

Balwaan | 1992 | Hindi: Suniel Shetty’s debut film, so the typical action drama. Divya plays Deepa, his college sweetheart. She’s a spunky girl but oh so charming. Her scenes with Suniel are adorable. And the songs, omg. Divya’s outfits were super cute, especially in the song Jalta Hai Badan (which is really sensual and takes place in a library lmao).

Rowdy Alludu (which I really want to see!) and Dharma Kshetram have amazing songs. Divya looks like a dream. Too bad there aren’t any English subs and I don’t understand Telugu :(

So, that concludes my list. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy these films as much as I have!

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars     Shadow      Warriors

            Seas 4

Oh    this-   just    screams      edgy        ...   Whelp

So is Jar      Jar an     adult,       now,?            (Asking because before his    characteri         zation was force of nature to child

Now he    seems to have his own    personality.

Which is fine   if you want to change some details for the sake of a    better story,      (Or to simply      explore         a new       angle,).    Aesthetic

     Just.            need to make sure I’m holding them to the right standard,

    Okay,

   That-         was    relatively     adult,

  Mm

   Um.

   I

 Aight        .           .       Well-

   Wait 

    Did they just call Jar Jar     away from      Cou-ncil-

    .         I mean they are clearly    trying       which          is   some thing       I do       give credit   for-

   Though                The             Tone              Is            Robot-                 Ic-

       (Though that might be int-         entional since it seems to be hinting that this lady is practicing some kind of         mind tricks on him

   (Aka, he’s doing it         under           tox, because we don’t do suspension of choice in     dra-         mat         ic       Me-     -dia,

 S’up

 What?

  I-

  -

   H-elp

Screw my own   accou-   -ntability     -      See that was the correct   -amount of   emotion-

.        Okay        -         Right-

  Sus-       (pic)

    No one noticed the obvious people right there?

  Like not even      Mr. sus         there?

[or are they just so    kind that it’s like   oh yeah we were just talking hate speech     but go right ahead?

Logic?

 There

  Yeah    some shit is definitely going on,

   For sake of argument*     sake, i’m just going to assume that his reaction to      toxic    behavior

*Account     ability-

 Any way

  I-

  I’m still      going to try,

  Despite  you clearly saying you want understood

   Because assumed authority        - and assuming you know better than a person about themselves

     Is totally ok-

     - In this         society

-[Cries        in       sad    “accountability,”     -of-      war,        ]

  Whelp,

  In-    flue-     n      -c      e

 Still an  adult-

  Okay-

 Imagine    it was just a normal necklace     and he pulled that shit-

[Ok for the sake of argument I’m going to assume the necklace is symbolism for toxic influence,

  Being around it         enabling]

  It-         -       His voice voice dropped like         - 6 octaves

     Also I swear if they try to   excuse him      for his actions-

     No

    Mind over matter     -Okay, so they’re not excusing him for his   -actions,

   Me-          an         -       OK so it’s not naturally evil it    just comes down to the users      so that dude was still totally responsible,

  Didn’t    change    - much

    -     Ha-Ha

  Actual     gas     -lighting”

    Also     persuade,            -             Okay,     good not excusing him       from his actions,      -      Thing

The   gaslighting goes deep      -      Also isn’t the Darkside supposed to be      negative over involvement?      -       Aight-         -       -           A-lone

  Oh yeah that’s a great idea let’s just let the  dude that just got gaslighted and completely fell forward go back into the person who did it,

 👍

     Genius     

    (This Jedi Council is fucking                  brilliant)

     Gas-       Light-         Ing

(Note;      Confronting the gas lighter is never the way       to do it       (Inter-             Gen-)          (Excluding accountability of the abuser     (Gen-break           Venting Pro-      Ced- u        re)

 [as you’re usually too angry     to let them get a word in edgewise        And remain;           in control)

  With inter- gen productivity,         They are possibly given       five warnings before         Being          Kick        ed-]

   For the sake of argu-       ment as well       as simplicity-

    We’re stick       -ing with        bas-         ic-

    If someone’s acting toxic        with you, you         reflect and you don’t have to         hang out with anyone         you don’t want to,

    Logic

   This dude      is very clearly making it obvious that    he’s willing to listen to this person,

 And, enabling

“Cl-”

See he’s gaslighting him again      because   he thinks he can get away with it,

With no   accoun-       tability-

 (Or the small bit      this society      believes      in     which is    jail,”

Wr-

Oh!

 Is he a     Gungan      Jedi?

  Also,

  You Don’t  

    SAY!

(The repeated Gaslighter      who has shown multiple times to be     toxic,       Was toxic,    (And prepared to use any means to      subvert the         will? 

Prize  for the  most   in  competent      Je      di

 Like,        Serious-         (Really had to put those two    accoun  t-      ability- cells      to good -    use-”

(For   matting       issue-)

  The writer just saving us the effort of him coming downstairs -all feckin- weird, and the   obvious    “should’ve seen that coming,     “

   ?             ha-ha

    What?

Oh yeah       no the creepy magical stuff wasn’t enough of a      fecking clue in-

  Appar-

   Whelp-

  He   snapped out of that quick-

  Like didn’t even need a      reverse- mind trick

   Good for      him-

   And - actual-     nar-    rative-        -

   Whelp,

   Wreck-ing      -house

       Okay, but how do you think this is going to look to the general public like two Jedi,( very good at persuasion -    mind tricks’ -just showed up, now they’re leader and said Jedi are wreck-ing one of their minster’s houses-  

     One who could’ve     feign-           ed lack of support for the        war

     Like if this is a     set up-  

 the chips-      are about to fall,

 Da-

Okay, seriously how obviously evil,    was this person?

Like we have a weird creepy room,     The robots apparently hanging from the    chandelier    (eck)         And      the knife

   Like if this person      ever-       went-   through a checkpoint

   Also,        Oh-

    That-

   (That     really        does not      look good,)

    Bo-ss

   Yeah,       she clearly has    medical experience,

 (Also yeah    that’s really going to make it    better-”

 Oh yeah the    senator was      seen trying to clean up the      evidence-

    Well the Jedi ran out     full sword’s- a blazing

    (Instead of you know the       Senator chasing after him,         While the peacekeeper stayed behind and tried to        tend to the person,]

   Great     -        -       Or    Not-

Well- tensions    just got raised,

  Of,

 Ai.     Ght, 

 Whelp,

(Okay, no way he’s totally not dead      but sure-)

 A-i-

  -

 Whe-

   That-       sucks-          -         Un-     Con-cious

    That-   doesn’t tell me anything else-

   Like;        Critical      condition?

   D-usk

   Li-terally       no one else?

    (Like don’t get me wrong I’ve been a pretty big Jar-jar fan ever since the change-)

   But really, the Senator, the person that spends the most time away from your - planet

   That’s the person,     they trust the most?

  Ai-

  Hm-

Oh yeah just put on the deadly leaders hat-

   The rese-mblance-

   Not really?

   I mean all humans technically    look the same-

  But-

 Pretty sure Jar jar is a lot      scrawn-         thin        -er

    Also if they’re not going to listen to him as him       they’re not going to listen to him      as he pretends to be their (dead) leader

Also, please don’t go with the      liar revealed plot,

    Yeah no, they have completely different kind of light.   tones,

     The face structure-

    Co-mpletely         different-

     -

   Nope

 -Dead

 Di-ssent

  Agree

   I-

   OK yeah I’m just gonna go over the fact, that as previously state,  I am not a huge fan of the liar revealed plot-

    -or lying

  (No because it’s- unrealistic-    - or there’s anything wrong with it

  -people do lie

     -maybe because of how overdone and             poorly done it’s been,

             -With the liar getting off Scott free without any                  weight

               But I really don’t like this               plot-

-And    the   skip    button    maybe   used     ad-     nausuem-   -

       [Well- shit       [for reference; I was using the skip button ad nausuem when I randomly stopped at the part      with    Greivous

        Things just got a whole lot worse]

         [Tumblr             Refresh]       -

   Any        Way,

   Aww,     That’s kind of nice the    friendship and reliance       the dude has on      Other-        Half            -         Yes        ‘Boss       Leoni’        when someone gets         tox         you leave-        - In a      - relation          ship-  

      Also yeah he’s definitely not       ‘Boss         Leoni’            -            He would’ve stayed and tried to take the    tox

 (Aka Jar-jar is less ena-     bling, les-        tox-     And     Doesn’t       Take        It        For          Much        More.            Than            He            Has               To,

        (He’s   les   -s

      Dyfun.  -c)

      Okay

       Good            Job     -     Also - yeah   how’d you manage that         -         That-

Didn’t get   car   ried up the chain of   com-     mand-        -            Then again Gri-   evous has shown to be a pretty   shit boss.     -      So I can’t blame these guys    for being like yeah compl-      ete stranger     I will totally      take a nap       -right    ,now-         -      You        kinda      have      sticks-        -    [The rain is   really    nice,]

[is this the first time we’ve seen them use active     particle effects      for the camera?

  Either way       it’s really        nice            -

Oh,

They’re    

electric     sticks,

That makes   sense

[- bet     ter      for      Figh     t-      In-       g-

Stop one     1v1     -ing-        It

    I

  W-h

   Again this is what happens when you 1v1 it    and    don’t assume accountability-     - -   

 [Don’t fight a metal cyborg with metal sticks when you’re not prepared to take it, full way,)

   I-

  [I feel like this is supposed to be some    big build up but they only shared like one scene where dude was completely silent,]

  Like,

   Sacr-ifice

    Die to take someone out with you

[Great

  Now

   Ouch]

   Are   they actually going to kill off      grievous because this isn’t look-ing    too    - good      -         Shit-

 Dude-      is still not dead-       -       How?        -          Whelp-           -          Oh,    hey      where the fuck    did you come      from,

 I-           Ack.      Br-u-      Tal

W-el

 -       Un         -         M           -              Plan-

“ damn it        he messed up the       script-,           -Pal   - patine

     Cap-

    Prison   break-

   Also yeah     that’s probably like        a vacation    for him-

 Given     how toxic these assholes     are           -            Ex- change           -           Damn             Ship      per-

      Also screw the 150 or how many other                 sena   -tors        -       Only     Amidala           -      matters          -          A-       ight-     -      Also, dude knows where everyone’s      lair,      Is,

 Like he pissed off Grievous with    -his

 Now he’s just chilling in this      dude’s    sipping earl gray       Or-      Some        Shit-

  Him

  Okay

 Getting a little    ahead of yourself     episode-       -       O k

    I

   Hearing this,  Skywalker doesn’t immediately run back      shout        -ing      nope-        - -       Because, to my knowledge the speaking at      room volume,

  Not    whispering        and the distance        isn’t enough to      -explain it             -            Ai          -   -           Wel-             -      There goes one        min-ion-             -             Droids are apparently    expensive enough to      chastise    Grievous          over-

  But sen-tient - beings are        a dime’     a ‘dozen-

    (Also    gaslighter’s.     don’t give a shit about        you     dear,       God,

  The Painful     dramatic-        irony-

 *tra-      gic-      Wh-      -Oa

 Ai     -     Ri-

  An

  Wh-     -elp,

   You know if it wasn’t for the exposure     earl-        ier   

I would assume they would think that the Jedi was just killing all their Im-por-        tant- elected officials

     Why?

     Wh-at

    He’s right.    -         But dude- that’s pretty      ham fisted-

   I mean-

  How many episodes          (and       possibly        seasons-)      do we have to            go-            - -     Anakin-       is a dick    to lanterns-       -        Also the random theme of the     bots-      coming out of nowhere-    continues-       -     St     -op-          -        Wh-       elp-

    .

    ?         (He          live?)

      I-

      ?

  Good           Play-

     Ah-

    To-

       Oh, yeah,       He’s alive we’re not going to bring that up in any      mention-able way?

      Ike

    Wh     e     l-      p

     Oh           -     That was   -nice-

   You deceived everyone and lied to all          our people,  you’ll make a great      leader,

   Or a great council/    committee leader considering that they do have an open position          ,            Best

I like that they had one bad ass fall and had it replace-d by Dooku being particularly bad-ass       -          In his      place-

In the trade off near the end really speaks to the     frag-ility of war

   I thought-

   It was pretty al-right    Though it really did seem like     - they were trying to build up to something but the structure unfortunately        just didn’t support it,

   Which is unfortunate because they do seem like      bits- that could’ve been nice

   Like Jar-jar being a constant       peacekeeper-

   The underwater        nations-

     Wars be-           tween          - Those               Dude’s

   And that    general guy      -        Who seems to be like he was supposed to be this     - really big deal

 [probably intended to do something      massive in the previous       arcs,]

    But, here,    all he did was that one scene,

    [Would’ve worked better if he was like this Re-       Public Gen-       Er          Al-

    To the      shark guy-

     And Akbar,

     Was just like the resident         enforcer-

     Or something to do with the       prince

    I think it would’ve really worked better with the concept of        ‘being taken’        under,               As well that possibly being a good contrast between     Jar Jar         binks          And        Char-        If Jar- jar got promoted-        With Char being eager at first but then realizing he just         can’t-          And Jar- Jar being reluctant at first but realizing he      can-

   [Note; assumed authority is bad,         Just- some people are better at using it for venting         than others)

   Nope boomers vs throw-         it-back, boom-

       I-

     And it really did feel like this episode       -should’ve been the split one 

   Nearing the end- it started to feel like the 1st-       part of a second ep-

    Which is fine

    Just cut-        of-

   Episode all around being al-right, with just several parts that didn’t make quite sense including the emphasis on the general for that one scene,

[takaraphoenix]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 6

1. Favorite character of this season?

I absolutely love how they dedicated this season to Buffy's issues. She died. And was ripped out of heaven. She lost her mom and was suddenly forced into being the adult in the house. It's so much and she gets to break about it. Yes, she hurts the people around her, but honestly... it kind of figures? How is one supposed to adjust to what she is trying to adjust to? But over the season, the wake-up calls she gets – the asylum episode, Dawn's stealing, Willow's addiction and then the grand finale that makes her realize she wants to be in this world – it's so great, because it goes... slowly.

My biggest issue with most modern TV is that it's basically torture porn. The main character is put through impossibly traumatizing ordeals but is never even given the chance to cope, to try and deal with it. The issues are never addressed, only glossed over because actually dealing with them would require care and good writing and take time away from all the other drama going on! So characters are only traumatized for shock-value and then are immediately over it, even though it's unrealistic.

This season is a season of trauma. A season of bad coping mechanism, of pushing people away but still seeking someone where she can feel safe – Spike. She slowly has to relearn to open up and let them in, she has to learn to want to live again. And it's hard. And the show doesn't shy away from it, it doesn't shy away from her making the wrong choices, because... there is no one right choice that is obvious when dealing with the trauma she has faced.

2. Outstanding minor character (positive or negative)?

Negative. Jonathan. I just... I really truly hate that Jonathan is in the trio. Of all people, Jonathan. The one who gave Buffy her class-protector award with that heart-warming speech. Buffy was the one person who saved him, personally, when he wanted to commit suicide. Even after the Jonathan Superstar episode, Buffy was gentle and understanding with him. It just... for him, to turn supervillain like that was incredibly disappointing for me.

3. Favorite character dynamic?

I genuinely love the Tara-Dawn dynamic. Tara and Willow raised her for months while Buffy was dead. But the Giles-Anya dynamic is also so great – I'm very soft for the way Anya points out her hair is blonde in the finale like “Buffy is getting hugs for short hair. I too would like a hug”.

4. Favorite canon romantic ship?

Buffy and Spike... in the first half of the season. The way she found him to open up to, he was the only one she voluntarily told about having been in heaven. She finds a connection to him. The way he loves her – that he stayed, for months, even though she was dead, because he had promised her to take care of Dawn and he didn't just do that, he helped the Scoobies protect Sunnydale. He had no reason to and it still... it bothers me so much that everyone continuously belittles Spike's love for Buffy like it's not there. If he was only lusting after her, he would have ditched town after her death, he wouldn't have helped defend Sunnydale and take care of Dawn.

5. Least favorite canon romantic ship?

I'm having flashbacks here but it's a tie and it's because of shit decisions Xander and Willow made.

It's strange, I want to love Willow and – as a friend – she is a great character, but she's just... a shitty partner? She cheated on Oz for weeks or months with Xander and now she used magic to play with Tara's mind. That is so... violating and disturbing and that, after Tara found out and confronted her about it and pointed out how incredibly wrong that was, even more so with Tara's past, Willow just went and immediately did it again. And this isn't something you can blame the addiction for; this was just “I don't want my girlfriend mad at me so I'll erase her memories”. It's... just so bad.

The other being Xander and Anya, even though I love Xander and Anya together, but... the entire season was a steady build-up to “Xander REALLY doesn't wanna get married”, literally from the first episode on. He tried to hide the engagement as long as possible. Then he just... makes these disturbed faces every time someone brings up the married life. They had a whole sing and dance number about their doubts. It's just so very evidently clear that he doesn't want to get married, but he takes until the wedding itself to realize and just... leaves Anya at the altar and then thinks he can get her back? Genuinely thinks they could just go back to being in a relationship? But after leaving her at the altar acting like she owes him something – when he watches her and Spike have sex?

Sometimes, it feels like Xander and Willow really live to sabotage their own happiness.

6. Favorite episode?

Once More With Feeling – it's just one of the most outstanding episodes, really! The songs are so brilliant, the emotional arcs this episode for everyone – from the Spuffy to the per-marital issues between Anya and Xander to Tara and Giles' doubts. It's really brilliant. Many shows after have tried to make a musical episode happen and, with luck, they're fun or comic-relief, but... none have lived up to the standard set by this one.

7. Least favorite episode?

Oh, that's an easy one. 6x19 Seeing Red, where they made... Spike, at this point honestly, completely OoC by having him try to rape Buffy. That will never come off as anything but OoC, not after all that has happened between them. Yes, they are violent with each other – but that's a mutual thing, they hurt each other. This was... terrifying to watch as a teen and it hasn't stopped being upsetting and disturbing. And then they top the episode off with Tara being fridged.

I know fridging is technically the act of killing a female character for the sake of a male character's suffering, but... it's gay fridging? It's not even entirely a Bury Your Gay; Tara dies specifically for the pain and suffering of her lover. After everything Tara's been through in life and after everything Willow has put her through this season, they barely just rekindled... and she gets killed off.

8. Favorite Monster Of The Week?

Aesthetically and what he brought to the show? Sweet from Once More, With Feeling.

But I think that Stewart from Hell's Bells also really stood out. The fact that Anya's past came back to haunt her – because she was a demon for a century and she tortured people for a living. She doesn't even remember this guy whose life she ruined and he comes in to ruin her wedding. And in the end... he wasn't even the one to ruin it, the viewer gets one last moment of hope when it's revealed this was a fake-out, that he was not “Xander from the future” but a vengeful demon... but even without Stewart, the wedding didn't happen.

9. Least favorite Monster Of The Week?

Not too many monsters of the week going on, really. Probably Wig Lady from 6x12 Doublemeat Palace, because all the implications of cannibalism in that episode were really very disturbing.

10. Rate the overarching villain!

Brilliant. 10/10. Holds up so well.

Seriously, there is this... frustrating part where Xander's character just does not hold up at all because of the casual sexism and gross over-sexualization of his female friends. Which figures, because that's how a Nice Nerdy Guy was defined in the 90s (and, if you look at modern TV aimed at nerdy guys like The Big Bang Theory, still is). It's just a trope from TV and movies that for some reason really worked back then but nowadays when we look at sexism and the behavior of men toward women with different eyes, it is really appalling and upsetting.

In the case of the nerd trio, this worked out really well for the show, because it only makes them even more effective villains. They are ridiculous losers, total nerds who think they are owed womens' attention. Their schemes are literally straight out of comics but for the dumbest purposes – they make an invisibility ray so they can go into a women's only spa to spy on naked ladies. They create mind-control devices but for the purpose of enslaving women into their sex-puppets.

It is so gross, so ridiculous and inexplicably still somehow funny, because it's straight out of comics. Freeze-rays? Invisibility-rays? Self-destructing lairs? Jet-packs? It is not out of this world, this isn't how Buffy the Vampire Slayer operates, this is a show about monsters and demons and they're turning it into a whacky scifi show and it works.

Then there's the fact that they're just... three dumb losers? I mean, last season, Buffy literally slayed a god. Shows like to escalate. The Big Bads become bigger and badder each season, but... where do you go after you killed a god? Instead of trying to immediately one-up the villain factor, they did something incredibly brilliant. They took all the steps back.

The villains aren't the focus of this season. The focus of this season is what I answered in the first part of this post. Buffy's mental health and readjustment. You can't only focus on that though, you do need a villain and for that, an overarching villain of some loser nerd bois who fail the majority of time are perfect. They're nuisances that make Buffy's life marginally harder at times, but they're not an overall, serious, actual threat that may end the world.

And still they... got Tara killed. In such a... human manner. An angry man-child who hates women comes in with a gun and shoots her. And there's nothing the demon-slaying good guys can do about it. The bullet hits – not the target it was intended for – and takes an innocent life. Just like that, Warren manages what the hellish bad guys from previous seasons hadn't managed; he kills a Scoobie. Angelus killed Jenny, Drusilla killed Kendra, those were the only major deaths at the hands of villains that we had on this show so far and both were minor characters.

Bonus: Other thoughts?

Dawn was so draining this season; she got better in the last quarter of the season but the majority of it... The stealing, the behavior, the blaming Buffy for absolutely everything – Willow got addicted to magic, it's Buffy's fault, they have no money and Buffy has to go and work to earn money and it's Buffy's fault that she's not home, Buffy died to save Dawn and somehow it's Buffy's fault too because she left Dawn. Just... how can you possibly be this self-centered...? It's so exhausting, even more so in the season that has Buffy suffering the most and instead of being a supportive, helpful sister, Dawn acts like she's the victim of everything...

And I understand, Dawn has been through a lot too – losing her mother, losing Buffy, learning she isn't human but just a mass of energy – but there is a difference between suffering yourself and placing all the blame on other people and pretending that the world is against you, instead of tackling your own issues and problems yourself? And stealing from your friends, at that.

And no, being fifteen isn't an excuse for not seeing beyond yourself. Fifteen year olds are sure old enough to be self-aware... This “fifteen year olds only see themselves and only care about their own suffering and everybody else is to be blamed for how shit their life is” is just... another cringey Teen Girl Trope. Seriously, why did they just cram every single bad trope into this character...