#my lady Jane ff

[holdingoutforapiratehero]

How many Guildford and Jane smutty one shots am I planning to write this weekend?

[reallydampcake]

This is like the 4th time this has happened, I’m not gonna be able to watch things I’m interested in bc of the constant looming threat of it being torn away and being left with half a story uncompleted. I might as well just not watch tv lest i enjoy it and then have it ripped away

[fideidefenswhore]

What are your thoughts on Jane Boleyn, and the role she supposedly played in the fall of 3 Queens (Anne Boleyn, Anna of Cleves, Katheryn Howard)? Do you think she has been too maligned by historians for centuries, especially when it comes to the relationship with the Boleyns (it seems she got along with Anne)?

Now that I've read both works and compared them side by side, I suppose I would say my stance on Jane Boleyn falls somewhere in between that of Julia Fox and James Taffe ('Somewhere in between' is not, btw, Alison Weir); although closer to the former than the latter. Offering critique of both biographies, I would say that of JF is too apologetic (smoothing out wrinkles that exist in her arguments rather than acknowledging them) and JT is too severe.

Especially when it comes to the relationship with the Boleyns? Yes and no. Obviously she was married to George, she sent him a message of comfort while he was in the Tower, and wore only black the rest of her life, which was quite the potent statement. However, I would allow for the possibility that she potentially, inadvertently implicated him or AB (ie, testimony of hers was twisted to suit the crown's case). This is where I think there are flaws in the arguments of some of her defenders-- they cannot allow for even that possibility and so make claims that disallow it; some of which are untrue. 'Jane was only blamed as a means of absolving Henry in the whitewash of Elizabethan propagandists' is not true. Johannes Sleidan in 1545 claimed that Anne and George died by her 'false accusation'. Sleidan was a Reformer, so he would have been more sympathetic towards the plights of these two than the average person, and would have spoken to others that were as well, but the motivation to vindicate Elizabeth did not yet exist; she was at this point the very unlikely third in line to the throne.

I do appreciate that you said 'got along' with Anne, not 'besties', because...it's possible they were very close, certainly, but we must also allow for the possibility of animosity. The linchpin for the argument of closeness is the report from Chapuys that they 'conspired together' to banish Henry's mistress from court. Was this the precise truth? Considering the source I'm doubtful. Probably there was a lady Henry was serving at this time (although that we never have a name makes the story somewhat suppositious), but did they need to have 'conspired together' against her for Jane to be banished from court (which is what happened instead)? Jane might have merely made Anne aware of her, and Henry finding out that she'd been the source would have been enough for banishment. Or, as was presented plausibly in Adrienne Dillard's fictional rendition, Jane might have dropped hints to Cromwell that this mistress was a supporter of the two exiled and contumacious royal women that were Anne's adversaries, Cromwell might have passed this along to Henry, and Henry might have banished Jane for shattering the illusion that this woman had no independent ambitions or ulterior motives and merely let him hit for the sheer pleasure of his company.

If this was evidence of closeness, and it might be, then we also have to remember that the end result was Jane's banishment from court, and that there is, as JT fairly pointed out, no evidence that any of the Boleyns spoke in her defense, favor, or for her return. It would take an extremely magnanimous person to accept all that with equanimity and not feel any resentment whatsoever. So, if there was intimacy, there might have also been rift.

That leaves the question: enough 'rift' for her to seek vengeance? I doubt that much for all the reasons Fox outlines in her biography, but at the same time I wish there was not this relentless push to only defend women that we assert 'deserve' defense, on the premise they were entirely selfless, accepted every insult with grace, never kept any grudges, never had personal ambitions (the actions she took during the queenships of those you mentioned would suggest otherwise), mixed emotions, or conflicting loyalties; that we could acknowledge that acknowledging the agency of historic women also means acknowledging they were capable of making mistakes.

[allgirlsareprincesses]

Stop calling My Lady Jane stupid! It's not stupid, it's actually a very deliberate and carefully crafted show FFS. They purposely made it anachronistic and whimsical and sexy AF! And it's good at being all those things!

Just like how Bridgerton isn't real history either and it's not trying to be, but it's very good at being a romantic fantasy!

Stop trying to prove you have refined taste and just enjoy things!

[teiasviago]

the fact that ppl keep dissing bton s3 in posts about my lady jane just proves that hatred to love relationships have rotted ppl’s brains like ffs not every relationship needs to have the couple dislike each other!!!!! chemistry is not just when characters dislike each other while being horny for each other!!!!!! they’re both really good ships why do people insist on being so fucking negative!!!

[stillmakeminemarvel]

uh oh there's not been anything in the lady dorma tag for a couple days uh... fish lady pretty

she's so cute in the Hanna Barbera FF, she's just the perfect level of drama queen, but with Namor's flaws sanded off in the form of Prince Triton i imagine he comes off as much more "long-suffering" than Namor, who is her perfect match. I am however delighted by this prospect. The orange hair looks cute to me and it's swept up into a dramatic bouffant that i love, and that looks great with the purple (which along with red and yellow is one of her signature colours).

10/10

In the 1966 series she's practically perfect, of course being very close adaptations of tales to astonish. however the animation is not always flattering, to him more than her but still.

8/10

She's perfect in the 1994 FF too (starting to think it's really hard to mess up adapting Dorma, she has a very strong characterisation), and this is the only chance we get to see her 70s design animated, with its more fantasy than sci-fi influence, and it looks wonderful. She has the best voice performance by Jane Carr. My favourite deliveries of hers:

1000/10 she's such a crazy bitch i love her so much! Namor looks like a gormless rube, that's a shame, but she loves him anyway and that's what matters.

Annoyingly, I suspect she had been out of the status quo for a little too long by the time that FF 2006 came around, so she is not included, which is a shame in my opinion. She should at least have been in "Atlantis Attacks" even if there wasn't room in the story of "Imperius Rex".

Feel free to add on with any other versions of Dorma that i may not know of!

[stewpid-soup]

I JUST WENT TO A REGINA SPEKTOR CONCERT LIKE-

I’ve listened to her before, minimally, but i feel like i was always doing something else without paying full attention. I enjoyed the beat of her music because it made my brain feel good. The words are good, obviously, but I don’t think I really listened.

Seeing her live? Holy shit. I’ve never felt so entranced by something. Like normally when I enjoy something I’m stimming a lot and super excited. Sure, I’ve been exhausted recently and in a lot of pain bc of my fibromyalgia. BUT, normally things I enjoy tend to take my mind off of things to the point where it feels like I have adrenaline distracting me from my actual tiredness.

Today, however, speaking was hard because I wanted to catch every second of the song. I was excited for the show, but I was worried since I didn’t know a lot of her music. It didn’t even matter if I knew the song, I was swaying and tapping along to the piano. I brought sound proof headphones to help with the crowd and lower the volume with the actual music but damn- I still heard every beautiful line. Her laugh was gorgeous and goofy but it made me feel like she was talking to me. She was so sweet and just had such a comforting aura.

Fuck man, I could keep going about every detail sbout the concert. And I don’t mean any of this in a creepy stalker way, just she’s such an amazing human being. I may not know her for the person behind the curtains, but she just seems so sweet and kind. Ffs, she went on a ramble about how she didn’t wanna kill a bug that landed on the piano. She sang a song in dedication for Ukraine and all their hardships and the hope for a peaceful resolution. Part of the money that her merch makes is going to a good charity (as far as i know) that supports Ukrainians one on one. It’s called like Ukraine-something-Jane? I don’t remember, but fuck. I’ve never felt so seen and appreciated by a stranger before, especially a popular artist I enjoy.

All in all, 10/10 experience. Especially for a first concert!! Definitely gonna listen to like- all of her music a billion times over to relive this.

(A little bummed I didn’t get to hear Two Birds but u win some u lose some /lh)

Small rant timeee (disability access, assholes, just frustrations)

so me, my mum, and my dad weren’t told that seats with wheelchair accessibility meant only ONE other person could be with you. it was so frustrating, and i didnt think i was gonna wanna cry within the first few minutes of my first concert. my dad had to stand in the like sections between seating that would get cleared occasionally for like 20-30 minutes before a lady told him he could sit with us until intermission was over. so he did, but them the concert started and no one told him to leave nor did anyone else who was going to take up the TWO empty seats beside us come. The dude talking to us was like “im sorry i cant let anyone else, only one person” and my mum was literally telling him “we had no idea, no one told me when i called in to ask abt accessibility seating” and just GGSSKHCHMXGNSJFDUR

anyways eating dinner <3

[mermaidsirennikita]

a few quick recs, if you so please:

Contemporary:

Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid. A very hot, very sweet rivals to fuckbuddies to lovers m/m romance.

Chef's Choice by TJ Alexander. An m/f romance starring two trans leads, fake dating for $$, French hero, cooking competition. I would also highly recommend their newer release Triple Sec, which is a poly f/f/nb romance.

The Prospects by K.T. Hoffman. M/m, another rivals to lovers but baseball, one of the heroes is the first out trans man in Minor League baseball.

Glitterland by Alexis Hall. M/m, moody author/sparkly club kid, one night stand to accidental romance, bipolar hero.

Mistakes Were Made by Meryl Wilsner. F/f, accidentally hooked up with my new friend's mom, obviously an age gap/secret relationship situation. Nothing underage, younger heroine is in college.

Fly with Me by Andie Burke. F/f, nurse/pilot, oh noes I fell in love. with someone who was supposed to be casual.

Historical:

Unmasked by the Marquess by Cat Sebastian. M/nb, friends to lovers. Other Cats I love: The Queer Principles of Kit Webb (m/m), We Could Be So Good (m/m 1950s reporters friends to lovers), You Should Be So Lucky (m/m 1960s sports reporter x baseball player)

A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall. M/f with a trans heroine, friends to lovers with dash of back from the dead. Also recommend Alexis's Something Fabulous (m/m roadtrip romcom) and Something Spectacular (nb/nb, kind of an 1800s rockstar romance with a castrato soprano)

The Secret Lives of Country Gentleman by KJ Charles. M/m, baronet x criminal in the marsh. Also recommend A Nobleman's Guide to Seducing a Nobleman (m/m boss/employee), Band Sinister (m/m rake/virgin), and The Gentle Art of Fortune Hunting (m/m sex deal).

An island Princess Starts a Scandal by Adriana Herrera. F/f rake virgin with a bit a deal involved.

Scandalous Passions by Nicola Davidson. FFM poly with a bit of BDSM and femdom.

A Shore Thing by Joanna Lowell. M/f with a trans hero, roadtrip romance (with bicycle racing).

Most Ardently by Gabe Cole Novoa. M/m Pride and Prejudice retelling with a trans boy Oliver Bennet, YA but quite good.

The Conquering of Tate the Pious by Sierra Simone. F/f villainess medieval romance with a nun. Also recommend The Last Crimes of Peregrine Hind (m/m kidnapping romance).

Fantasy:

Consort of Fire by Kit Rocha. FFM poly, arranged marriage with an assassin handmaid, he's very much the third.

A Sweet Sting of Salt by Rose Sutherland. F/f selkie romance, largely closed door/low heat.

The Fae Queen's Captive by Sierra Simone. F/f faerie kidnapping romance with a villainous heroine and some D/s.

The Witch Walkers series by Charissa Weaks has a secondary m/m romance (with POVs from both characters) starting in book 2, and it's quite worth tapping in for. Enemies to lovers with a lot of fated mates vibes.

Mortal Follies by Alexis Hall. F/f with fairies and Shakespeare x Jane Austen vibes. Also recommend Confounding Oaths, the m/m followup in the same universe. Both are pretty much closed door.

Paranormal:

A Long Time Dead by Samara Breger. F/f vampire romance, spans decades with lots of drama.

Erotic:

Give Me More by Sara Cate. MMF friends to lovers, bi awakening with road trip stuff.

New Camelot by Sierra Simone. MMF series with much angst, political drama, and King Arthur retelling shenanigans. Also recommend... pretty much everything she writes... Saint (m/m second chance road trip with monk-fucking), her Lyonesse trilogy (MMF with an arranged marriage, bodyguard-fucking, Tristan and Isolde retelling), and her Thornchapel series (Gothic with light paranormal, A Secret History vibes, preeeeetty dark and spooky, MMF and FF with multiple orgies).

Mafia Target by Mila Finelli. M/m mafia romance with an assassin/target angle. Mafia Devil (m/m, on a boat, secret identity stuff) is also good.

Sci-Fi:

The Stars Too Fondly by Emily Hamilton. F/f, stuck on a spaceship, one of them is a hologram.

one of the most rancid takes I see on booktwt all the time is basically "why would I read romance, I don't want to read about het people fucking"

because never mind the fact that there are closed door romances (I can't speak much on that because though I respect their existence, I like to read about people fucking and believe books can have merit and also feature explicit sex)

we can talk a lot about how romance, like essentially all forms of media, has a long way to go in terms of queer rep... because it does

but there are a lot of queer romances, you can find them in in virtually every subgenre of romance at this point, and if you truly can't find 'em you're just not looking and it's a bit of an insult to the writers who are writing them (many of whom are queer) to act like this is some het genre

[yourdeepestfathoms]

SIX Fanfic Masterlist

because my other one dipped

you can really see the huge characterization change from the oldest to newest fics lol

Multi-chapters

if not by blood, then siblings by bloodshed

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Monsters Don’t Soften When They Die

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Olly Olly Oxenfree

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

West End

Cynophobia

Coming out

Emetophobia Pt 1 Pt 2

let us break your fall

Rabies

Home Alone

Early Mornings

Never Mix Stimulants and Depressants

Meltdowns in Silent Hill

Bleary-Eyed Ferret

As Tough As Diamonds, As Fragile As Glass

Beautiful

to mend old wounds

“Tell me something: Why were you crying?”

“You’ll kick this thing’s ass. You’re tough!”

“I love you.”

“Hey, hey, look at me, okay? Just breathe. You’re safe now.”

“Please tell me what’s wrong.”

“Here, you can snuggle under my blanket. I’ll protect you.”

Like Mother, Like (not) Daughter

I’ll Be Met By Moonlight

Silence of The Lamb (because i’ve dried her tears)

“what are you so afraid of? it’s only me! the monster you created.”

Bear Claws

Where The Lamb Sleep Under The White Tiger’s Tail

skintight

“cause i really always knew that my little crime would be cold, that’s why i got a heater for your thighs”

Goodbye To A World

“i do love you”

Hush, Little Lamb

Morphine

“There Are Worse Things I Could Do”

Forever a Family

Tudor Women In A Groupchat Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3

Cara Mia

hate me, mate me, still tryna replace me

The Blood Inside of Ewe

Ram Horns

No Use Crying Over Spilled- MOO!

Bite The Bullet (and mop the blood spatter up with fur)

After The MegaSix Ends

Cherry Wine

Tour

Survivor Mentality

If I Didn’t Look Anything Like Me

Lick Your Wounds

Mama, We All Go To Hell Pt 1 Pt 2

The Antidote For Hate

Solitary Hide-And-Seek

A Little Piece Of Heaven

The Chambered Nautilus

Brain on Fire

AUs

Baby Bird (Wings Au)

Roses in The Dark (Mute!Maggie AU)

A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing (Werewolf AU)

Baby Mine (Sitcom AU)

uroboros, the eternal return (Foster AU) Pt 1 Pt 2

LIMBO (Time travel AU)

A Bat Loosed From Hell (Wings AU)

Leather-Blood (Wings AU)

Of Patience and Partners (Pokemon AU)

The Girl Who Cried Witchcraft (The Six Crucibles)

The Postmortem Interval (Dark Souls AU)

Balance Requires Motion (Cowgirl AU)

shout out loud (the moment of the peak) (Cowgirl AU)

A Lullaby For A Stallion (Cowgirl AU)

Candy Crush (Sweet shop AU)

Flavors of Poison (Sweet shop AU) Pt 1 Pt 2

Children of The Gods (Demigod AU)

[larentsaloud]

Pride & Prejudice x F4

OMG. Not my favourite couples mash up. Here we goooo:

Thyme X Darcy 

Rich boi complex, starved of maternal affection. Umm. So we all know that Darcy was raised by his aunt and that Thyme was raised by the house keepers, so they probably can cry on each other’s shoulders when they enter the group therapy. I would love to see them discuss trauma while Gorya and Lizzie wait for them in the nearby coffee shop and swap proposal horror stores. Liz, you know he abducted me? OMG! Tell me. *sips tea*

Tailed by stalkers in Darcy’s case she was a friends sister, so not as disgusting as Hana, but for my purposes I am saying this tallies. I mean Hana is a special case, but that sis of Darcy’s bestie was another level of mean. Why does every man need an obsessed bitch tracking him like Elon Musk is about to track us with his chip implant, I failed to comprehend. Jane, you made every romance triangle a quadrant and I love you for it. 

 Insult my heroine before / during a confession. Ha. I cackled when Darcy rapped about how terrible Lizzie’s family, background and what not was and then he was like, yeah but scratch that, because I most ardently love you. The fuck? You can't just insult my girl’s lifestyle and be like never mind it’s cool. I want in on that mess. kjshsahjk. Compare to Thyme who literally said Gorya looked like a tramp and was black and blue with bruises (all your fault Thyme) but like ummm can't believe you made me fall so hard. Bitches. That  is highly toxic. Thank fxck my ladies have sense and do not fall into those traps that those bois weave. 

Have minimal awareness of emotions beyond misery until they encounter Gorya / Lizzie. Yeah no explanation needed. They are the prototype of aloof emotionally frozen degenerate. Pretty sure all my exes studied Darcy and decided to pause never grow past the point of Darcy being a little whiney bitch about everything. Ugh. Dancing. How dreary. It’s not Darcy you are just miserable. 

Love the girl before she realises her own feelings.  

Won't take no for answer: case in point Mr Darcy was sure she would not refuse. Thyme: finds creative ways how to break every boundary known to man. 

Gorya x Lizzie 

Are outspoken, with chaotic loving families that ends up causing more harm than good. Only difference being Gorya not shy of resorting to physical violence, but then pretty sure Austin would have written her character with few more punches if the evil editors allowed her to slap Mr Darcy after his confession. Trust me I that's how she wrote it in her first draft. 

Not in the market for a hubby / boyfie until Wickham / Ren appears. Remember when Wickham was wagging his tail at Lizzie’s skirts? Yeah. Then we have Ren using her as a pass time, while he discusses his actual crush. What a selfish bastardo. They can both be condemned because they play with my girls feelings and bread crumb their affection. Fuck that shit.  

Despise Darcy / Thyme for being proud spoiled mother trucker. LOL, because at least Darcy didn't bully everyone, but I bet he was a nightmare mood spoiler and a complete drain on any society with his gloomy nature and refusing to dance. FFS. As for Thyme, he's probably quite introverted too, so not much of a party animal more of a sappy drunk who gets spiked and abducted. They share that rich boi im better than you aura. 

Have a family member that causes them heartache. Lizzie: sister who marries her first crush. Gorya: dad in debt, which causes her to become a part time play boi bunny for a night. Both of which cause much concern to Darcy and Thyme, but also end up giving them reason to fight our heroine’s case. 

[holdingoutforapiratehero]

This is 100% @burning-daylight fault! Addi, you bitch. You're going to poke someone's eye out with your Janeford gifs and you should be ashamed of yourself! Basically, Addi decided to gif their entire first time and my hand slipped as bad as Guildford's. There are no excuses for my actions. Just smutty death.

[hightidelowmood]

Blindspot season 3

OK OK OK I have returned back to this 10/10 show and hello!!! EPISODE 15 LETS GO

I like Keaton... why oh why do I like this grub???? and the chemistry between him and Zapata?? they're a great team. I love the dynamic so much! Zapata's 'I am at capacity at keeping secrets' is literally hot. I love when she throws down back at Keaton hahahaha

I can really understand why Avery continues to push away from Jane especially because Jane continues to try and pull her into the storm. Not that Avery shouldn't be part of all of this, but I can understand her adversion to thinking her own father is capable of all the terrible things they continue to push at her!

eeeeeEeeeEeEeEep I still think Roman is... hot. The turmoil he feels about loosing Blake is very, very interesting. I like that he has all of these romantic feelings. His character development is so great to watch.

UGH ok Jane has just woken from her slumber to a sound... and wtf is Kade doing back here. "I'm not going to kill you.. I need your help" bitch why should she help you???? also her husband is going to bash him surely??? Kade's an idiot to be completely honest, Jane and Kurt have no problem going for the kill shot LOL they will literally murder without thinking HAHAHAH ooooft, CIA totally stuffed everything for Kade... interesting. Of course he wants a new deal what a headache.

HAHAHAHA of course Keaton is freaked out that sand storm has been found what a great moment in Blindspot hahahaha and of course Jane trusts Kade's word for it, there is another bad terrifying bad dude loose in NYC, love this for us. OH OH OH Crawford is involved!

200 million... for Blake back?? I am looking forward to seeing how they're going to get their children back. OoOoO they're being kept in a night club... god Roman's accent is H O T anyway, he is the only person talking sense. He doesn't want to start a gang war... but I am surprised that Crawford agreed with his business buddy over Roman??? especially because Roman is clearly educated and cares for his daughter? i n t e r e s t i n g

OoOoFT Keaton and Zapata is so hot... why are they so attractive? they are currently arguing over what they'll be doing with Kade. when they fight its full of vibesssss anyway, Keaton being honest and telling Zapata what's happening with Kade's husband.

Anyway, we are back with Jane and Kade interacting and I love how truthful Jane is. She is so sincere when she tells the people from her past.

Oh there's a building rade happening tonight?!!??! Kade just dropped the beans!!! yay, wonder how many headshots there will be by the team??? lets go lets go!!

FFS what is wrong with Crawford??? why isn't he listening to Roman? I don't understand why Crawford isn't listening? oh of course Roman is going in to get Blake. Boy oh boy, he has it bA A A a a a a a d, I adore this side of Roman SO MUCH!

Oh god Kade is seeing his son :( I am crying, this is sooo sad. His son started crying, AWWW get me a big big big tissue and a bottle of wine because I feel too emo for Kade and the situation he has put himself in at the expense of his family. What an idiot but also... circumstances hey??? I wonder if Kade holds back knowing his son doesn't recognise him anymore?

ANYWAY, Avery is baaaack and she wants to know what her dad did on his past life and I still wonder what angle she has... does she actually want to know? Does she even care???

Oh!! Kade is going to share his knowledge! ~how interesting, he doesn't know what's going on but he does know who the bad lady is... who is the bad person I wonder...? is it someone they know? Quinn BONITA?!?! who are you?!?? so you're a bad bitch? Why are CIA bad guys always wearing army pants and tight shirts and OH MY GOD THEY JUST got to a hotel and she's locked down the hotel and shot someone in the head??? why is Quinn going rogue??? oh because her husband was killed how awful :( this poor woman

Quinn is about to attack the CIA with full rights because her son was killed and wasn't at all rescued, you can't really blame her especially if Keaton is the piece of shit poster guy for them. Anyway oh my god the undercover office is at a research university "Belmore" uni!! oh that's so interesting!! the outpost, they've found it! how interesting!

OH MY GOD, THE CIA BIG WIG!!! HE WAS IN CHARGE IN ALIAS TOO!!! HOLY SHIT!?!?!?!? WHY DOES THIS ACTOR PLAY ALL THE BAD GUY LEADERS?!?!? LOVE THAT SO MUCH!! anyway, sorry I am totally fan girling right now... Robert, the director you're living your best life... how interesting. ANYWAY, holy shit we've got two bloody hectic storylines happening... now we've shifted to Europe and Roman is saving Blake's ass right now.

Let me take three guesses here and say that Blake survives this ordeal. OH OH OH Crawfords business partner set this whole thing up?? how interesting!?!??

OH ok oh oh oh my god Quinn's terrorists just literally shot another agent in the face. ~this is deep right now Quinn, she's right this will not bring her husband back and I can kind of understand the whole thing. Oh so Keaton is a hero then?!?!??! head shot... 4 now. 4 people have been shot in the head so far! hahahahahah + the ones Roman shot... that's 8 people HA HA HA HA HA

Interesting.......... dID i miss something? Did Roman set this shit up??? did he set up the whole thing???

Anyway, wow Keaton is a piece of shit for not upholding the bargain with Kade. That is terrible, I hope that Zapata makes sure he gets free. She shouldnt have to lie directly to Kade. Kade shouldn't be treated in this way, it's wrong and I think Z knows that too. I hope Z comes clean. OH she didn't have to come clean, Zapata looked like a big ass liar anyway!!

Oh sis... Zapata you big piece of shit

OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH O H ROMAN IS UNCOVERING THIS SHIT HAHAHAHAHA of course Crawford set this shit up ahahahhaa I actually thought it may have been Roman lol anyway, wow Roman.. why are you so clever. What a terrible father to Blake but Roman... you clever clever boy. Crawford is going to try and kill Roman I think??? i think that's where we're heading...? OH CRAWFORD Poisoned him/?!?!?!?!? hahahahaha I jdore crawford 'messing' with Roman but Roman is a nasty piece of shit right back don't mess with him bby crawford.

AWWW ZAPATA AND EDGAR GUYS she's still so but hurt with Reade and I need to know if they end up being endgame?!!? please tell me they do I'll be pissed if they don't end up being end game. That chemistry is still hot too??? there's so much hurt and loss there, so much tension.

AWWW AVERY has come full circle and realised the truth about her dad, she now knows her dad was a murderer and how heart breaking :( I dislike that she now knows he didn't choose her. That is so awful :( I wish that Jane didn't tell her! Was it really necessary?

[drchristineputnam]

Can I please vent about lesbian romance? I've been finding a few great female authors who write mostly m/m romance, a few hetero ones and then "oh! They did write a lesbian couple!! Among the mm and het!" And it's 1 novella. It's so sad and disappointing. It feels like they just did it because they were nagged or they want to dodge fetishist accusations so they write a novella without men. Do you know of any authors who write regency or victorian lesbian romance? More than 1 lesbian novella? Other than the wonderful Sarah Waters of course. I love her with my whole heart. But shes the only one I know of 😔😣

Oh anon, I feel you on this. I desperately wish there were more ff histroms, but theres so few, and even fewer good ones

I would not throw the word “fetishizing” around in this context though. The vast majority of the people writing f/f romance, especially histrom, are queer themselves. Trust me, the people getting their f/f romances published are the people who really, really want to be writing it. The publishers just don’t want to buy these books, because they think it doesnt sell. Its the classic cycle: publisher thinks it doesnt sell, so they either dont acquire the manuscript and if they do, they dont bother to market it -> no marketing means less people know it exists -> less people buy it -> wow this book really didnt sell. Theres more barriers too. Lily Maxton had to self pub the ff novella adjacent to her 4 book series, because Entangled press, her publisher, is homophobic and straight up wouldnt publish it. Hell, look at Avon, one of the biggest romance publishers, whos modern day publishing published about what, 20 queer books? And straight up half of that catalogue is just Cat Sebastian. It’s just. It’s so hostile to ff romance, AND ff histrom. ive been whining about this for so long and its not getting better!!!

Anyway, to get off my high horse and just rec some books. I’m gonna disappoint you thought, because like i said, theres very few ones Im willing to recommend. 

Start with the amazing Olivia Waite, she writes amazing regency romances

The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics and The Care and Feeding of Waspish Widows

Then theres the magnificent Proper English by KJ Charles, my favourite 

And then theres these three I havent read yet, but they come very highly recced and are on my tbr 

Spring Flowering by Farah Mendlesohn

Leather and Lace by Rebel Carter

Also this book came out last month i think and the reviews seem fine: Her Lady to Love by Jane Walsh

Guys if you have more recs, please leave them in the comments (but if you rec romancing the inventor or stormsong, I will smack you)

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #235: Havoc on the Homefront!

September, 1983

Welcome to the Wizard’s Mansion of Mechanized Mayhem!

This cover has got it going on!

Where “it” is “multiple things.”

Still, I love covers that are just like ‘here’s a couple things happening today’ and this is a great version of that concept with the things being viewing screens that the Wizard is looking at.

He’s watching the Avengers in various peril channel.

This is a good cover!

So last time: uh, a couple things. Wasp called Vision and Scarlet Witch in as reservists when Annihilus tried to blow up the universe with an invisible dome. The two basically contributed nothing but Vision was thrown into a robotic coma.

Wanda and Vision in a tube moved into the mansion while he recovers and Wanda recapped her entire backstory including new retcon that Magneto is totally her dad.

Then she had a Dr. Strange crossover. Since it also involved Monica, two Avengers makes it notable enough to synopsize in brief. And its titled Assault on Avengers Mansion! so its like its baiting me.

Dr. Strange astral projects to bother Wanda when she’s trying to get some grief reading in. He wants to find the Darkhold and she’s the last known possessor or vice versa because thats when she was possessed by Cththon and had to be saved with a care bear stare from the Avengers. But Dr. Strange really wants the Darkhold to stop Dracula from getting it. Yes, Dracula.

Since the Darkhold is being stored in a vault at Avengers Mansion after Beast brought it back from Wundagore, Dracula’s cult attacks and manages to break into the Mansion. Dr. Strange, Wanda, and Captain Marvel all fight off Dracula’s cult and then Dr. Strange trolls Dracula by teleporting the Darkhold somewhere else.

Also, Avengers Mansion got trashed in a break-in in Fantastic Four #257. Dammit. Whats with all the intertextuality in this era?

So that story there is: mostly a lot of Galactus eating the Skrull homeworld and fallout from aforementioned Annihilus story. Only the last two pages are relevant.

Mr. Fantastic shows up to Avengers Mansion to check on Vision, Wanda goes to make him tea, and then he’s teleported to a space trial leaving a giant melted hole in the mansion.

Honestly, I don’t know why FF got asterisked instead of the Dr. Strange issue. They both messed up the mansion but the Dracula cult was more of a break-in than someone leaving a giant hole in the wall. Although that’s more mysterious.

Anyway, with two different ‘read this also’s between issues that messed up the mansion, no wonder the opening splash has to be devoted to a repair crew patching things up.

Wasp is putting her size-shifting to good use to literally micro-manage. Zipping around at tiny size telling everyone how to do their job.

Captain America who is also supervising and impressing people with how buff he is gets annoyed and goes to tell her to stop but stops himself.

Captain America: No... No. She’s in charge here, and I have to let her handle things as best she can. Her methods do seem to bring results... They’re just not my methods, that’s all. Yeah...

And then he sulks off, ignoring Wasp when she asks what he’s muttering to himself.

Hm. The new leader honeymoon period is off, it seems. Cap was Wasp’s biggest supporter as chairperson and now he’s grumbling and second-guessing.

Dang.

I hope this isn’t snapback to Wasp not being leader because she’s flighty and silly. I hope we’re not just going to do that.

Cap wanders over to where Vision-inna-tube and Wanda are. Wanda is still glued to Vision’s side. And either Wanda can read minds or Cap says something between panels because we have Cap wondering in a thought bubble whether if Vision has shown any signs of improvement and then Wanda answering that he hasn’t shown improvement or worsened.

Cap(tain) America: “Well, don’t let yourself get too worried, Wanda. That husband of yours has been through worse scrapes than this. He’ll pull through!”

Scarlet Witch: “When you say it, Cap, I can really believe it!”

Inspirational Cap! Charisma rolls: Very.

Still, Wanda is sad because Vision is lying in a tube helpless and she can’t even touch him.

Cap wanders off again, without even saying goodbye (rude) while musing how much it sucks.

Cap: Blast it! Those kids were just starting to make a life for themselves, and this had to happen! Why was it that of all the Avengers who went up against the threat of Annihilus -- it had to be a couple of reservists who suffered most?

And then starts musing how weird it is that Scarlet Witch and Vision as reservists since they were active Avengers for so long!

Remember, Wanda joined the Avengers not very long after Cap did! Only a couple months in-universe! She was one of his Kooky Quartet!

Cap: At times I wondered if the Avengers would survive -- but somehow, through all the tumult and changes, the team not only survived -- it grew stronger! I pray it always will... with the menaces we so often face, we can’t afford to weaken. We’ve gone through so many changes lately. We’ve picked up two fine new Avengers in Captain Marvel and the She-Hulk, but we’ve lost Hank Pym... and now we’ve lost Iron Man, too. Even Thor has taken himself off the active roster to pursue a personal mission. I hope he won’t be gone too long.

Cap is clearly in some sort of dour Mood.

A dour and monologue-y mood.

And what’s Thor up to leaving the team roster OFF PANEL?

(Sigh)

Well, since the asterisk is telling me to see Thor #334... oh geez, Don Blake is under suspicion of killing Jane Foster. Thor, and Lady Sif take Keith Kincaid (the non-Thor love interest of Jane) on a trip to get the Runestaff (long story) and restore Jane Foster (long story).

Annoyingly, the Thor issue does show him telling the Avengers he’s going to be gone for a while and to take him off the active roster. And borrowing a Quinjet.

I think that it would have been nice to see at least a panel of that. Or something. I don’t want the book bloated with ‘see alsos’ but I’m confused why it put the most emphasis on the FF one when it was literally two pages where Reed manages to ruin the wall while getting kidnapped.

Whatever.

Anyyyyway.

Even though he thinks the new Avengers are good, Cap worries about having both Thor and Iron Man off the team.

Especially Iron Man.

He was their science/technical guy. And on the current team, the only one with any sort of science expertise is new trainee Starfox.

Who is busy making out and not being on time for his daily training session.

At least he remembers that he has a prior obligation.

And he’s only two minutes late. Or to put it another way, he’s a whole two minutes late. And Cap(tain America) is a notable stickler for punctuality.

Cap: “Punctuality may be an anachronism in this day and age -- and, for all I know, it may be unheard of on the planet Titan -- but in my day, it was something that was expected of people!”

Wow, Cap really pulled a ‘in my day.’

Frankly, I’m surprised he doesn’t pull that more often.

Starfox does seem contrite and apologizes for putting pleasure before business which sends Cap into an introspection about why he’s really being so harsh on Starfox.

Protip: It’s Tony. It’s almost always Tony.

Cap: Pleasure versus duty, that’s what it always comes down to. It was Tony Stark’s ‘pleasure’ which led him to giving up his Iron Man identity... leaving the Avengers. Some ‘pleasure’! He’s crawled so far into the bottle, he may never get back out. And there’s nothing I can do to pull him out... Nothing any of us can do, unless he lets us. That’s what’s really bothering me... isn’t it?

And he accepts the apology with a “just don’t let it happen again.”

You sound so old sometimes, Cap.

Meanwhile, She-Hulk is off on a jog through New York, listening to some Beach Boys’ California Girls.

An overeager driver scoots forward and cuts her off at the crosswalk and (I assume) in frustration, she punches the hood of the car.

And given it’s She-Hulk, she kinda punches a hole IN the hood. And probably engine.

The guy being either an idiot or incredibly unperceptive runs after She-Hulk to grab her arm and yell at her.

She does not care for that at all.

Like, why would you? She’s seven feet tall and green and just punched a hole in the hood of your car.

Luckily for the guy’s skeletal integrity, Spider-Man pops out of nowhere to be Friendly Neighborhood and mediate this conflict.

They both air their grievances.

She-Hulk: “This creep grabbed me!”

Creep: “Hey! She... she crunched the front of my car!”

She-Hulk: “That was you who cut me off in the crosswalk? You’re lucky I didn’t rip out your axle!”

Spider-Man: “Now, now! Let’s keep this friendly! Sounds like you’re in the wrong, chum! The lady had the light!”

Creep: “Lady?!? She’s no --!”

Spider-Man: “I wouldn’t say that if I were you! That’s the She-Hulk, dummy! Remember what she did to your car? Well, just imagine what she could do to you!”

Creep: “Oh yeah.”

And with the power of Spider-Man’s bomb-ass mediation, the guy realizes that he was in the wrong, apologizes, and leaves in a hurry.

(Her skeptical glare cracks me up for some reason)

Moral of the story: Don’t be a jerk. Stay behind the line when the little man is lit up.

After the guy takes off, She-Hulk praises(?) Spider-Man’s amazing mediation skills by saying he should have been a lawyer. And then they catch up.

She-Hulk is still having trouble adjusting to the East Coast lifestyle and lack of beaches so Spider-Man suggests checking out the Jersey Shore.

She-Hulk: “My big problem right now is housing. Avengers Mansion is nice, but I want a place of my own.”

Spider-Man: “It’s tough -- rents are pretty steep.”

She-Hulk: “The real trouble is finding a place I like. With the thousand a week I get as an Avenger, rent’s no big deal.”

Spider-Man: “I guess not, if you’re making a... a thousand A WEEK?!? I passed up a chance to become an Avengers, and they make $1000 a week?!? Oh, NO!!”

Ha ha, that ol’ Parker luck.

Maybe Thor should have mentioned the money when he tried to recruit Spidey.

Meanwhile, at a federal penitentiary in Vermont, a scene change.

Bentley Wittman, aka the Wizard, aka the Wingless Wizard, aka the adult man who thought the best use of his time was bullying a teenager, is being questioned about Plantman Sam Smithers’ escape from jail.

The Wizard claims that he knows nothing about Plantman’s escape and that he barely knows the guy anyway. They were airlifted from Ryker’s in the same helicopter and that’s it.

But a convenient x-ray tells a different story.

And that story is that “the Wizard” doesn’t have any skeleton bones.

... Were we really at the point in 1983 where we didn’t know about the dangers of overexposure to x-rays? They just causally scan both “the Wizard” and the guy questioning him?

Anyway, the ruse being rumbled, the fake Wizard rips the bars out of a window and jumps out to his death.

Or it would be death if he wasn’t just animate wood wearing a fake skin suit.

Kinda gross if you think about it.

Anyway, where is the real the Wizard?

Obviously, he escaped jail a while back. Not only is he a sinister criminal mastermind who has sinister masterminding to mastermind but also he was tired of the prison hair code. Because dammit, he wants to rock the goatee!

(Literally a comment he makes, calling the prison barbers butchers)

The Real Wizard gets a BLIP-BLIP-BLIP priority alert that informs him that the plant-him has been discovered which means that the authorities will be looking for him now.

Wizard: Now every law officer in the nation will be looking for me. Well, let them! They’ll not find me, unless they look here! And if they do look here, they’ll have a fight on their hands! The Wizard will not bolt and run like some common criminal! My home is my fortress! They’ll never get me out of it! Never!

Anyway, within an hour of the discovery of Plant-Wizard, a disgruntled agent of the national security council named Mr. Sirkorski receives a briefing.

Usually, this problem would be Gyrich’s problem but he’s busy somewhere else, probably making mutants miserable if I had to guess.

-checking- Yup, he’s over in the X-books, being involved in Project: Wideawake, the project that will later accidentally shoot Storm with a demutantifying gun that will take away her powers, leading her to kick Cyclop’s ass, leading to him leaving the team and feeling sad about being happily married.

Wow, Gyrich, you’re the worst.

Anyway, since the Wizard is tied to the presidential hostage crisis via Plantman, that makes it Serious Business.

Hence, Mr. Sikorski’s serious business.

And he hates it.

He hates this bonkers superhero universe. He just wants to live in a spy thriller universe without all this specific nonsense.

Mr. Sikorski: “Oh, great! Plant-Men... criminal scientists... prison breaks! Don’t they think I have enough to do, just keeping track of what the Russians are up to?”

Also Mr. Sikorksi, on the following page: “And it’s up to me to call in the appropriate parties. I feel a little weird doing this! It’s hard enough for me to believe there are such things as Avengers! I certainly never thought I’d be calling them for help!”

This guy is great. I hope he becomes a recurring and just continues to be low-key pissed about what genre he lives in.

SCENE CHANGE TO AVENGERS MANSION’s actually looking cooler than ever meeting room.

The table looks enormous and theres a giant viewscreen that they can display stuff on.

Only misstep in my opinion is that the seats don’t have personalized icons on the back.

On the big viewscreen map, Cap(tain America) is displaying for Captain Marvel known properties and hideouts that the Wizard has used in the past.

And then big boss the Wasp comes in with She-Hulk to start the meeting.

Since the government has requested that the Avengers help search for the Wizard, Captain Marvel suggests that she could zoom around and check off the whole list in no time flat by using her lightspeed.

Cap(tain America): “You probably could, C.M. -- that’s up to Jan to decide, of course. It would save us some time. After all, the Wizard could be in any of these places... or none of them!”

Wasp: “You think so? If I’d escaped from prison, I’d want to go home. But that’s just me, I suppose.”

Cool contribution, Jan.

I don’t mean to mock, its just she makes a goofy face.

(Hey, I wonder if her new costume was inspired by the FF’s negative zone’d ones. It’s kinda got a similar palette and rough design)

Anyway, Scarlet Witch asks whether she can be excused from superheroing for the day to keep an eye on the Vision.

Wasp: “Why, Wanda! I should say not! You agreed to fill in for Thor while he’s off in space, and I intend to hold you to that! I’m the chairwoman, and I’ll decide who goes where!”

In fact, since somebody does need to watch the Vision, Wasp chooses the most reasonable candidate.

Captain Marvel!

Who needs her to get the task done in five seconds! She can watch the coma-robot.

You make interesting decisions, Jan!

The remaining Avengers will split up into squads.

Captain America will take Scarlet Witch and She-Hulk to check the hideouts on the east of the map. Wasp and Starfox will check out the western ones.

She-Hulk: “You and Starfox, huh? That’s rich... the All Flirt Squad!”

Pfft.

Cap(tain America) isn’t feeling the humor and tells She-Hulk to save her jokes for when they don’t have a job to do.

Minutes later, the Avengers land a Quinjet on the front drive of the Wizard’s Long Island estate. He has one of those.

Cap: “Come on Avengers -- let’s get this over with!”

Good attitude, Cap.

Wanda notes that the grounds look neatly tended considering that the estate has been empty for the past several years but She-Hulk thinks a gardener was probably kept on retainer.

The Wizard was stupid rich.

When they get inside, Cap changes his tune. The place looks too tidy and ready for occupancy to be empty so maybe the Wizard is here.

So he pulls a ‘lets split up gang’ and splits up gang with each Avenger taking a wing.

Cap: “Oh, and She-Hulk, try not to break anything if you can help it. This is private property!”

Priorities!

Granted, She-Hulk is known to break things. Why just today she broke some dude’s car.

The Wizard is watching all of this on his home security system and springs individual traps on the individual Avengers.

She-Hulk finds herself in a series of identical small non-descript rooms, each more identical than the last.

So identical that its the same room, looping.

Wizard: “Through the circuity in that doorway, I’ve activated a dimensional matrix which will keep your walking back and forth ad infinitum through the same room!”

Except without seeing herself leaving which you’d think she’d be able to see.

It’s a smart way to trap a Hulk, provided they don’t run out of patience or get frustrated and smash something.

Meanwhile, Cap gets locked in a chamber where an anti-gravity field has been activated, leaving him flailing through the air.

Oh, and dozens of high-intensity laser torches pop out of the walls and start trying to carve up Cap.

Meanwhile, Scarlet Witch’s individualized trap is the most individualized of all.

Because She-Hulk’s and Cap’s could be used on any number of people really. But Wanda’s feels like it was created to counter Wanda. Pretty on the ball from the Wizard considering he doesn’t often fight the Witch.

When Wanda enters the room she suddenly starts spinning out of control, flies across the room, and lands in a chair.

Wizard: “Marvelous! I’ve ensnared the Scarlet Witch within something against which her astounding hex powers are useless. My field effect devices have generated a pocket of non-causality within that test chamber! Within the area, all actions have an equal chance of occurrence. Therein, all probabilities are skewed. She won’t be able to stand, much less cast a hex!”

Wow! That’s some high octane comic book nonsense science!

The point being that every time Wanda tries to do something, something random happens instead because its all equally likely. She tried to walk into a room and ended up standing on the roof. She tried to back out of the room, she started spinning. She tried to stop spinning and she flew into a chair.

Sure.

With the Avengers all trapped, the Wizard turns his attention to deciding how to dispose of them.

Except, as cleverly foreshadowed by my snide comments, She-Hulk’s trap is only as good as Jen’s patience.

Which is good forrrrrrr. Two dozens loops.

At that point, she’s sure some bullshit is up and scratches the wall with her nails to leave a tangible mark. When she sees the same mark in the ‘next room’ her suspicion is confirmed.

And now that she knows someone is jerking her around, she decides to ignore Cap’s suggestion to not break private property by breaking private property and rips the doorframe (and the dimensional matrix) to crap.

There’s a backup trap that drops slabs of six-inch omnium steel around her but yeah she’s a hulk and she’s not playing considerate anymore. She starts KRUNGing the walls with her fists.

Meanwhile, Cap uses physics to get out of his jam. He throws his mighty shield to break some lasers so action/reaction will propel him backwards and he can jump off the wall, grab his shield back, and uses one of the broken-off lasers against the others.

Also, meanwhile, Scarlet Witch tries to figure out her own, incredibly specific trap.

Scarlet Witch: This is like a nightmare! Whatever I try to do, something else happens. Just in making the attempt to call on my hex power, I wound up falling flat on my face! I can’t even... wiggle my fingers? I... I can! Oh, but only very close to the floor! Whatever is causing my actions to go awry must be weaker near the room’s outer surfaces! Then there’s HOPE -- !”

Wizard must have gone cheap on the pocket of non-causality projector for that room if it’s not completely covering the area. Sure, the area it doesn’t cover is relatively small but now what’s about to happen is going to happen.

So Wanda gets as low as she can go to the floor and uses her probability-altering powers.

This causes the non-causality field to reverse because why wouldn’t it? And causes feedback through the circuitry which causes the master control to shock the Wizard.

It also causes every logic circuit in the master control to overload and the whole dang thing explodes, Wizard barely flying out of the control room in time.

Right in She-Hulk’s path.

She’s not happy. He’s not going to like her not being happy.

She-Hulk: “After what I’ve been through, it’s gonna be a real pleasure to pound that helmet down around your ankles!”

Wizard nopes right out of her way and decides to abandon fortress.

Then Scarlet Witch probability alters his battlesuit flight controls to malfunction to halt his escape and make him crash to the-

...

I’m pretty sure his neck is broken now.

I mean, it’s apparently not because he keeps talking and moving and living but he look at that panel. Guy should be dead as movie Zod.

Y’know, if the Avengers are going to kill the Wizard, the FF should really get them back and kill one of their villains. I suggest Grim Reaper.

Anyway, surrounded by Avengers, Wizard pulls his trump card.

Wizard: “Your confidence is ill-founded, Captain America. There is one resource I can yet draw upon. There is a thermonuclear devise beneath my house -- powerful enough to destroy half of Long Island and make the remainder very unpleasant for a very long time. Much as I hate to see this place destroyed, I would press the button, so to speak.”

“You being such renowned public heroes, would hate that even more. But unless you allow me to go unharmed, I shall active the timing sequence of the bomb’s detonator.”

And Cap is like ‘do you mean this detonator’ and pulls out one he prepared earlier.

HAH!

You know, ironically, if he had just hidden in a safe room or on the roof or something, the Avengers probably would have came and went without noticing him. Springing traps on them really backfired in oh so many ways.

The threesome return to the mansion, presumably after turning Wizard over to the authorities, and Wasp comments that it sounds like they had a bit of excitement (Starfox grumbling to himself more excitement than he had searching the Bronx with the Wasp ha ha).

Cap(tain America): “You’ll be glad to know, Wasp, that your instincts were correct. The Wizard had indeed gone home. He gave us all a pretty good challenge... a welcome challenge, I dare say.”

Wasp: “Looks like I assigned the right people to search the right place, huh?”

Cap: “Yes, Ms. Chairwoman, I’d say you did!”

And elsenow, Wanda goes to the medical bay to check in on Vision and relieve Captain Marvel.

Scarlet Witch: “Can you hear me, darling? I hope you can. I was feeling awfully blue today... And I was given a duty that first seemed annoying, and later became dangerous. But I didn’t give up... I came back, and I won. I know that you can come back, too, darling! It’s just a matter of time... and hope.”

“It’s funny! I thought the Wasp was silly for sending me on that mission. But -- in a way --it was something I need. I think the others needed it, too!”

Captain Marvel: “Then that’s why she sent you, Wanda... because she knew what you needed! And that’s why she leads the Avengers!”

Secret friend mastermind Janet van Dyne sends you out for punch therapy when you need to punch something.

Reminds me of when Captain America picked a fight with Goliath Hank Pym to lift his spirits. Except with a lot less fighting her own friends and more pointing them in the right direction.

Something I love about this era of Avengers and with the big shift in Wasp after Hank’s court-martial is that while her character has changed she’s still recognizably and uniquely herself. She’s still a bit goofy. She’s still playful. And on top of that, she’s proven that she’s a good leader for the Avengers. It’s not mutually exclusive.

Cap (previously Wasp’s biggest supporter as leader) started this issue grumpy and even had his own ideas what the best tactic for searching for the Wizard would be, but by the end he agrees that Wasp made a good decision.

Despite playing the ditz for a long part of her career, Wasp isn’t dumb. And she’s got a good head for the interpersonal challenges of running a team too.

I’m reminded that during the much later Busiek run, when the Avengers need to expand and modernize to match up to expanding challenges, Captain America turns the leadership of the team over to the Wasp.

My point being, I was worried that there’d be snapback on Wasp being leader because she is flighty and silly. But instead, she can be flighty and silly and still a good leader.

I’m pleased with this take, Stern.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because there will probably be more Wasp being a good leader. Fingers crossed. Also, like and reblog this post maybe if you also like Wasp being a good leader.

[sleep-oven]

(uuuh hello the terror community)

terror and terror adjacent people as things me, my friends, and my family have said and done:

Crozier: "My whole life is worth five thousand cans of beer."

Sir John: *anxious sigh* "The peeeace of Goood-"

Fitzjames: *gets hit in the face with a cricket bat in high school P.E, tries to play it cool while progressively fainting* ( no teeth were lost that day).

Little: 'How come nobody sends letters? all we ever get are bills..."

Hogdeson: "It's my time to shine!!!" * runs past the football he intended to kick*

Irving: * moving the cat* "Leave the saint alone you little iconoclast-"

Gore: "Look, I dont think theres up and down in a situation like this..."

Dundy: "I don't really like how it tastes." *proceeds to eat several more of the snacks in question*

Jopson: "FUCK, they found me!" * sweetest person in class slides down under the desk at the sound of police cars*.

Collins: "And they had this poster with all the cool things you could see underwater. Fish, coral, sea turtles... It was raining. I saw three rocks."

Blanky: "If a demon showed up right now pretty sure I'd fight it...

for the record THAT WAS NOT A CHALLENGE! OK?"

Peddie: "Vitamin d. As in  d e a th."

Mcdonald: "Hold up, im gonna get a glass of the Black Liquid of Capitalism (Coke)."

Goodsir: "Unfortunately, the council has come to the conclusion that there is only CRAB."

Stanley: * sarcasticaly* "Oooh my, she got pissed did she?"

Des Voux: * gets +4-ed in Uno*" I hope you die."

Jartnell: * hoists tart up in the air in the middle of the street for one (1) ripe blackberry*

Tartnell:" But you can't get run over by a motorcycle! You're tiny!! There will be nothing left!!!"

Gibson: "Everyone loves to mess with interns. When I worked at this architecture office, a guy turned to me and said ' hey, go down to the wherehouse and get me some powdered nails'  like ???????? ffs"

Brigdens: "Who's my little yakult? 😚"

Peglar: "I am your yakult 💘"

Morfin: *momentarely forgets how to go up the steps, almost cries*

Tozer: "I didn't want to tell them I am afraid of fish, so i went into the water and just stood there, very still..."

Manson: *yelling back at the loud-meowing cat* "YES. I KNOW. I'M GONNA CRY TOO. HOW ABOUT THAT?"

Hickey: *leans in conspiratorely* "Hey... wanna get 8 barrels of enriched uranium?"

Silna: * looks into the camera like she's in The Office* Are you seeing this? They're the shame of my life."

Tuunbaq: "Mőthër...Į Hűņģêŕ"

Lady Jane: "If you forget to salt your beef and it spoils I'm going to throw you out with it."

Sophia: "I am for the lesbification of Brasil England."

Adjacent folks:

JCR: "So one time I forgot a pressure cooker on the stove and went to a wedding-"

Forbes:"Hey, hey, check out this noise I can make, it's the call of nature"*deep-growls and a fish jumps out of the water*

Jane:" My neighbour broke my terrarium and didn't replace the jar like he said he would and now my plants died. Seems I'm gonna have to kill my neighbour, unfortunately."

Joseph: "Everynight I pray for you guys, you sons of bitches."

John: * at biology class* "uuuuhm Can I Blow  Air inTo The Ox LuNGs????"

Robert: * doesn't want to call a locksmith, dropkicks stuck door open instead*

Archie: * over one single dissected ox testicle* "Come on team, we're gonna save this calf!"

The admiralty in general: "But say are you pissed :)) like are you pissed :))))"

[bangtanstorytimetheater]

Virtuoso - A MYG Story

CHAPTER ONE

ONE

"We've decided to transfer you to the Chattanooga store."

My manager's words felt like a bad breakup. I felt my heart sink in my chest. This transfer, though unexpected and utterly terrifying, was going to be a huge leap in my career.

The music company I worked for was a small, but very well-respected chain in the tri-state area. I was proud to hold a position there, hosting field trips for elementary-aged children, and helping students demo instruments to find the perfect one. It was a rewarding job that I looked forward to every day, and I was eternally grateful for the opportunity. This transfer would have me leading the new field trip program that the company was getting ready to roll out at the other store.

I had worked at Bangtan Band Box, or BB's as the locals called it, for nearly four years. It was a great place to work, and I had watched business really take off over the time I'd been there. Thanks to a recent year-long renovation project at the store, all of the studios were now equipped with gorgeous new digital pianos and state-of-the-art soundproof walls. Everyone was thrilled with the way it turned out. We even had a grand re-opening block party. Of course, without fail, there was always at least one person who still had a complaint about something.

"The sound on these things just isn't the same. The keys don't feel right. It's not a piano..."

Ninety-two year old Jane Young was the sweetest little lady I had ever met. She was probably the only person at this store whose complaints didn't annoy me. We had grown incredibly close over the past few years I'd worked there. She was a sort of relic, being the very first ever piano teacher to teach lessons at BB's original location. Mrs. Young was the childhood piano teacher of the company CEO, and he had insisted on bringing her onboard when he opened up shop over thirty years ago.

"Jane, I completely understand where you're coming from," I said, reaching out to place my hand over hers on the counter, "They really don't feel the same as acoustic pianos, but admittedly they are pretty nice. At least we'll save a few thousand dollars a year on tuning. And I suppose all we can do at this point is just make the best of it, right?" I smiled, hoping to pull her out of her funk. Jane had been through so much over the years, spending nearly every day of the past three decades in this place, and she was not keen on all the sudden changes.

"You really are wise beyond your years, Faye. I suppose I could at least appreciate the new carpet. That iced tea stain from three years ago will certainly not be missed." she chuckled.

There's the Jane I was hoping to see today,  especially  today. Should I tell her? No, not yet.

The Following Monday

"Faye! How've you been?" Jin flashed his familiar warm smile and casually held up a hand in a lazy wave. He was always so soft spoken, but still cracking quiet jokes that had you in stitches. He'd worked at the Chattanooga BB's for a few years and we'd known each other from district meetings. He was still fairly new to being an assistant manager, but seemed to be pretty comfortable in his position.

"A bit nervous about the sudden change, but I'm looking forward to working with you. Glad that you're here on my first day. Makes it a lot easier, that's for sure." I sighed. Despite years of auditions and stressful interviews in my music career, meeting new people was still sometimes a bit stressful for me.

DING!

This store had a very loud door chime, entirely different from the one at my previous store. It was jarring, making me jump. Jin let out a louder laugh than I had ever heard come from him. I suppose being in his own store, he probably felt more at-ease than when he was attending the stuffy district meetings. It was nice to hear him laugh so genuinely.

"Didn't you guys have a bell like that at your store?" he asked, setting down his keys next to the register and taking off his coat.

"Nope. And I startle easily, so this will take some getting used to I bet."

"Hey man!" I heard a booming, but cheerful-sounding voice from somewhere over my shoulder. I turned to see a beautiful man with warm, honey skin walking towards me, his dusty blue sweater and light blue jeans accentuating his perfect tan. He had just walked in through the front door and was sweeping his wind-blown golden brown hair out of his eyes. He had a guitar case slung over his shoulder, covered in happy stickers - rainbow flowers, smiley faces, Korean hearts, and the words HOPE WORLD in big, bubbled letters across the center of the case lid.

He must be a teacher here.

"Hope! Hey, this is our new transfer, Faye Jansen. She just moved here from the Woodland Hills store. Faye, this is Hope." Jin said as he motioned towards the statuesque man in blue who was now standing face to face with me at the counter. Hope flashed me a huge, toothy smile as he carefully dropped his guitar case to the floor next to him and extended his hand to shake mine.

"Pleasure to meet you, Faye. What a nice surprise!" he smiled and squeezed my hand gently, "You can call me Hobi."

Why do I feel a little flustered? Is it warm in here or...?

Nevermind.

"Y-yes. Thank you. The pleasure is all mine. It is wonderful to meet you, Hobi. What instrument do you teach?" I asked, trying to turn the attention away from myself. I had seen the guitar case, so he was obviously a guitar instructor, but I was too flustered to think straight. I wasn't normally shy around anyone, but he was strikingly handsome, in a way I had not seen in real life before, so I almost needed a moment to catch my breath.

He seemed to notice that I was feeling a little flustered, glanced down at the guitar case then back up at me and smiled, seeming a little amused.

"Guitar. I assume you play something as well?" he asked, his fingers fidgeting with the strap of the clear plastic messenger bag slung over his shoulder.

"I studied classical voice in college, but I also play oboe and piano. I did all the demos for the field trips at the Woodland Hills BB's." I was proud of what I did, but I wasn't trying to sound too proud. Musicians can take perceived cockiness to be a huge turn-off.

"Ah, wind instruments. I envy that. I could never get past my initial few trumpet lessons as a kid. I thought I was going to pop a blood vessel in my face!" he laughed, "So instead I break old peoples' hips."

"Oh yeah?" I laughed, "That sounds terrible. Care to elaborate on that?"

"A group of us here have a jazz ensemble. We play shows every Thursday and Saturday. The older folks love to get up and dance. Let's just say that sometimes they dance themselves right into needing a wheelchair the next day. Anyway, we get pretty decent paying gigs at The Yeontan Lounge, playing all the old jazz standards. You should join us sometime. We love having other artists step in. Speaking of, Jin will you be at practice tonight?" Hobi said, suddenly turning towards Jin.

"You're in the ensemble too, Jin? That's amazing. What do you play?" I asked, excited to hear more about the group, and especially excited to hear them play.

"Upright bass. You should sing with us tonight, Faye. I heard you sing karaoke at the company party a few years ago. You sounded great. Are you still performing these days?" Jin asked.

"I haven't performed in quite a few months, but I'm sure I can manage a casual jam session tonight. What song should I prepare for you?" I asked, my disciplined mind already scrambling to come up with the perfect piece for my vocal range.

"Why don't you sing At Last by Etta James? That's a classic. Can't go wrong there." Jin suggested, glancing over at Hope for approval.

Hobi stuck out his lower lip and nodded, raising his eyebrows. He seemed pleased at the song suggestion.

"Hearing a classical singer take on At Last is going to be something special, I bet. Looking forward to it," he said. "See you tonight."

"Likewise," I said, watching him walk towards the hall of studios.

DING!

There's that goddamn door chime again.

Startled at the sound, I clumsily dropped the pen I had been holding against my notebook, and it loudly clinked on the glass countertop.

As I reached to pick it up, embarrassed at my unintended slapstick routine, out of the corner of my eye, I could see someone walking in my direction from the front door.

I looked up, and it was as if time slowed to a crawl. My eyes met the gaze of a tall, slender man with shaggy black hair and smooth, porcelain skin, wearing a button-up denim jacket, skinny jeans, and converse - all black. He didn't stop walking, but our eyes locked until he was out of view.

Instantly, I felt this surge of electricity throughout my body, as if he physically touched me when he walked past me. It was strange... and exhilarating. His deep chocolate eyes had so much fire behind them, they burned straight into my soul.

I had to know his name.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thank you for reading the first chapter of my book! I'll be updating every Sunday at the very least, but hopefully more frequently than that.

Looking forward to your feedback and suggestions!

This first chapter is dedicated to the lovely 0o_pervy_noona_oO who started me on my Bangtan ff addiction, and inspired me to write my own.