#my jaw dropped actually. the way he said it sounded so romantic.

[evilkaeya]

WHAT THE HELL

[arthurhillmastermind]

“George Clarke replied to your story” Part 2

1,897 words. Green circle. Red Circle. what’s the difference?

Two hours. That’s how long it had been since George had sent his reply, and you’d left him on read. It wasn’t a power move, exactly—you just needed time to calm down and think through your next step without overanalysing.

The group chat had been buzzing nonstop during those two hours, alternating between hyping you up and begging for updates.

“What’s the plan, bestie?”

“If you wait too long, he might think you’re playing hard to get. Actually… maybe that’s good?”

“Don’t reply yet. Let him sweat a little.”

But now, two hours later, you decided it was time. Nothing flashy, nothing over the top—just enough to keep things casual.

You opened his message again: “Good taste. But why didn’t you invite me?”

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard as you finally typed out a response:

“This was from last week, just thought it was cute.”

Short. Sweet. Unbothered. You hit send before you could overthink it, tossing your phone onto the bed like it might catch fire.

Almost immediately, the group chat went off:

“Did you reply? What did you say?!”

“I swear if you don’t update us—”

You hit record on a voice note.

“I finally replied,” you said, pacing your room. “Just told him it was from last week and I thought it was cute. Nothing dramatic, nothing flirty. Totally normal, right?”

Your phone buzzed, cutting you off mid-sentence.

GeorgeClarkey replied …

“Oh my God, he’s replied already.” You scrambled to grab your phone, barely breathing as his message came through.

“Fair enough. Let me know next time you’re in London—I’ll take you somewhere even better. 😉”

You froze. What.

You hit the group chat with a new voice note, your voice an octave higher than usual.

“GUYS. He said, ‘Let me know next time you’re in London—I’ll take you somewhere even better.’ WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!”

The chat exploded.

“It means he’s asking you out, you fool!”

“George Clarke is flirting with you, Girl. Just accept it.”

“Please tell me you’re going to reply to this.”

And now, staring at his message, your heart pounding, you realised they might actually be right. Before overthinking got the better of you, you flipped back to the group chat, sending a voice note in a rushed whisper.

“Guys. I’m gonna tell him. That I, in fact, live in London.”

The chat immediately blew up:

“DO IT.”

“YES. FULL SEND.”

“This is the rom-com moment we’ve been waiting for.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at their enthusiasm as you typed out the reply:

“Funny you say that… I do live in London.”

For a second, you hesitated, wondering if this was too direct. But no—George had basically invited himself into your plans. The ball was firmly in his court now. You hit send, tossing your phone onto the bed and letting out a deep breath.

The typing bubble appeared almost immediately.

“Wait, seriously?”

A pause. Then:

“Okay, so no excuses next time. Drinks on me.”

Your jaw dropped. You grabbed your phone and sent another voice note to the group chat, your voice practically shaking.

“GUYS. He just said, ‘No excuses next time. Drinks on me.’ WHAT DO I DO?!”

The replies came flying in.

“You say YES.”

“You plan your outfit. That’s what you do.”

“Oh, he’s serious-serious. This man is INTO YOU.”

And as you stared at George’s message, a small, uncontrollable smile crept onto your face. Maybe this plan of yours had worked a little too well.

Feeling the growing weight of the situation, you opened the group chat again, needing their input more than ever. This was spiraling way beyond what you’d anticipated.

You typed out your message quickly:

“Girls, you guys are crazy. What do I reply without sounding weird? Like, I’d not mind meeting him, but do i really want to date him.”

You hit send and stared at your phone, the uneasiness settling in your chest. Sure, George was funny, charming, and, admittedly, good-looking—but the idea of this turning into something romantic felt… off. You just weren’t sure if that’s what you wanted.

The responses came flying in:

“Why not just keep it casual? You don’t have to date him to meet him.”

“Yeah, just treat it like meeting a friend. No pressure.”

“You’re overthinking it, bestie. Just go for the vibes.”

One of your friends sent a voice note, her tone more grounded.

“Honestly, just be upfront with yourself. If you’re cool with meeting him but don’t want it to get flirty, just keep the energy casual. No need to lead him on or overthink every reply. It’s not that deep!”

You sighed, nodding to yourself. They were right. It didn’t have to be that serious. You could meet George without it being a big deal.

Finally, you typed back to him:

“Haha, no excuses then! Sounds fun—let me know when you’ve got a place in mind.”

It was light, easy, and gave you some control over the situation. You hit send, feeling a little more at ease.

Of course, the group chat was already lighting up with speculation, but you ignored it this time. Now it was up to George—and you weren’t going to overthink it.

With your phone plugged into the speaker and your good vibe playlist filling the bathroom, you got to work cleaning. The rhythmic sound of scrubbing tiles and the faint hum of the music felt oddly satisfying. You were halfway through wiping down the sink when the unmistakable opening of Mastermind by Taylor Swift started to play.

You froze, the lyrics hitting differently this time:

“What if I told you none of it was accidental?”

You stood there, sponge in hand, staring at your reflection in the mirror as the words sank in. The song’s sly, self-aware tone felt a little too on the nose.

“And now you’re mine, it was all by design…”

Your mind instantly wandered back to George. The thirst trap, the close friends list, the café post, leaving his message on read—all of it.

You blinked. Was I… masterminding this whole thing?

A laugh bubbled up before you could stop it. No, that wasn’t it. None of this had been intentional—at least, not at first. But still… hadn’t you leaned into it just a little? Played along, maybe even enjoyed the attention more than you’d admit?

The song continued, wrapping you up in its sly energy, and for a moment, you let yourself enjoy the absurdity of it all. You shook your head, tossing the sponge back into the bucket.

“Alright, Taylor, you’ve got a point,” you muttered to yourself.

As the song faded, you finished up cleaning, feeling strangely lighter. Maybe it was the music. Maybe it was the clean bathroom. Or maybe it was the realization that, mastermind or not, you could handle whatever came next.

After all, it was just George Clarke—and maybe, just maybe, you had a little more control over the situation than you thought.

Just as you were toweling off your hands and admiring your freshly cleaned bathroom, your phone buzzed on the counter.

You glanced at the screen, heart skipping when you saw the notification.

GeorgeClarkey: “I’m free tomorrow if that works? Then you can answer in person if it was for me or not 😉”

You stared at the message, suddenly hyper-aware of Mastermind still softly playing in the background, like it was narrating your life.

“What the hell,” you whispered to yourself. George Clarke wasn’t just playing along anymore—he was setting up a full-on meeting.

Grabbing your phone, you rushed to the group chat, sending a frantic voice note.

“Guys. He just said he’s free tomorrow. And he said—wait for it—‘Then you can answer in person if it was for me or not.’ With a wink emoji! What do I even do?!”

The replies came in rapid-fire.

“You go, obviously.”

“Okay, but do you actually want to meet him?”

“Bestie, he’s giving you the greenest light I’ve ever seen.”

You took a deep breath, trying to sort through your own thoughts. Did you want to meet him? Honestly… you kind of did. Not for anything serious, but out of sheer curiosity. After all, how many times did someone like George Clarke invite you out for drinks?

Still, the uneasiness lingered. You typed another message to the group chat.

“Okay, but what do I even say without it sounding like a date? I’m not trying to lead him on.”

A reply came in almost instantly:

“Keep it casual. Something like, ‘Tomorrow works, but only if you’re buying the first round 😉’ or ‘Only if you don’t take this too seriously.’ You can set the tone.”

You nodded to yourself, feeling a little more grounded. After a deep breath, you opened George’s message and typed:

“Tomorrow works. But if we’re doing this, you’re buying the first round. No excuses.”

You hovered for a second, then added:

“Also, don’t get your hopes up—I’m still deciding if it was for you. 😉”

You had hit send before you could overthink it. You heart was racing. Whatever this was. it was happening.

The notification buzzed almost immediately:

GeorgeClarkey: “Burr & Co, Camden tomorrow 11am. I’ll see you there.”

You blinked at the screen, reading it again just to be sure.

Holy Fuck. He’d actually done it. George Clarke had set a time, a place, and was expecting to meet you. Not as a fan, not as part of some YouTube bit, but as… well, you weren’t sure exactly what this was.

You stared at the message, the reality sinking in. Tomorrow morning, you’d be sitting across from George Clarke at some café in Camden, trying to act like you weren’t completely overwhelmed by the situation.

Scrambling, you switched back to the group chat and hit record on a voice note.

“Girls. Holy shit. He picked a place—Burr & Co in Camden—and said, ‘I’ll see you there.’ Like, this is actually happening. What do I even do now?!”

The chat erupted into sheer panic.

“SHUT UP. IT’S HAPPENING.”

“Oh my God, what are you wearing?!”

“Please tell me you’re going. You HAVE to go.”

“Act chill but also make sure you look amazing. Casual slay.”

You sank onto your bed, staring at the ceiling as their messages poured in. What were you even supposed to wear? What were you supposed to say? This wasn’t some casual run-in with a friend; this was George Clarke, a guy with millions of followers, who somehow found you and your close friends list intriguing enough to want to meet in person.

Another voice note: “Okay, but what if it’s weird? Or awkward? Or, like, he thinks I’m someone totally different than I am?”

“Stop overthinking! Just be yourself!”

“You’re cool, you’re funny, and he clearly likes you already. Just vibe.”

“Bestie, you have NOTHING to lose.”

They were right. You didn’t have to be anyone but yourself. And whether this turned into a funny story or something else entirely, you couldn’t deny that you were curious.

With a deep breath, you typed a final message to the group chat:

“Alright. I’m going. But if this goes horribly wrong, you all owe me drinks.”

And with that, you set your phone down, your nerves and excitement battling it out as you tried to figure out what on Gods green earth you’d wear to meet George Clarke at Burr & Co tomorrow morning.

———-

a/n - There will be a part 3.

please let me know if you wanna be tagged in part 3

[olderthannetfic]

I don't get my fandom. They want more queer rep. The main cast is a bisexual femme woman with a preference for women, an aroace gender-indifferent AMAB man, a genderfluid all-pronouns using AMAB person with a beard who wears a dress, and a biromantic asexual bigender AMAB man who is agender + male. The supporting cast has a lesbian girl, a middle-aged ace het woman living semi-romantically with another woman who is the main cast's (emotional) adoptive mom, and a ambiguously queer character whose gender is never really confirmed or discussed.

A big criticism I also see is "the writing team is all cishet". One, we don't know that, someone could be closeted. Two, why is that a problem? I think it's great that they went, "this makes sense for who this character is. We don't have to force them to be cishetallo just because that's what you normally see in animation. Web animation can be different. This is who this person is and that's fine."

I'm 19. I talked to my half brother, who is 38, about this and he actually choked on his coffee. He said when he was my age, nothing like this was easily accessible for him. It would have been jaw-dropping representation for him. I asked about the writers being cishetallo and he said, "who fucking cares? I would've moved Heaven and Earth to see these characters hanging out and just fucking existing back then!"

I know you get a metric fuckton of asks, but I'd love to hear your take on this. You've been in the queer community way longer than I have (I've barely started interacting with queer people IRL; I grew up in rural Wyoming) and I do wonder what this debacle looks like to people in other age groups. I'd also be curious to know what older people would've thought if they'd seen this friend group in media when they were younger. I know it means a lot to me. But I feel like I don't get what it would have meant back then.

--

Well, written up like this, it might get an eye-roll for sounding like Captain Planet casting. (You know "One of A and one of B and one of C" in a way that feels kind of forced.)

But yes, I think most older queer people when looking at the actual canon would be like "Sweet! A cast full of queer characters!"

I grew up somewhere shockingly liberal for the 90s next door to some old, married lesbians (who still live there, as it happens). It still sucked for teenagers. I had an okay time, but I was always hearing about other teens having an awful time even as the adults in the same communities did okay. And that's a very, very good version of what it was like in the 90s.

I did have access to queer media, vastly more access than most teens had. It was still mostly art films, boring coming out memoir, and The Pain of Being a Minority serious literature. What I wanted was genre fiction with a romance b-plot between queer characters I found hot. There was a bit of that, but not much.

I don't know that I personally would have killed for the exact set of queer rep in a modern show, but that makes sense. There are plenty of identities that present about the same but where people have internal reasons for choosing one or another. There are different forces making one queer identity or another more embattled at a given point in time. So while broadly similar queer people have always existed, there actually are fads in identity to an extent. (This is different from "wharrgarbl, the blue hairs with their pronouns!!!", which is just people being ahistorical assholes.) Modern media does and should reflect these differences. It might be for me, but it's going to be for 40-something me, not teenage me if it's coming out right now. If it's for current teens, it's not for teen me.

But yeah, in a general sense, I agree with your brother: "Damn, we have so much today! That's cool!"

The kvetching is usually people being angry that it's not representing their exact slice of queerness instead of someone else's. Or, let's be honest, a lot of it is "You didn't make my ship happen! How dare?!" dressed up as activism.

...

One thing I will say is that teenagers were extremely dramatic in my day too, and black-and-white thinking was just as common. Looking a gift horse in the mouth is not new. Yes, your fandom is full of idiots, but I wouldn't read too much into it.

[kimbappykidding]

How Seventeen react when they find out you have a crush on them

Scoups - Husband behaviour straight away

When Scoups heard from a reliable source you liked him back he was all in and ready for a relationship with you. He supposed he could've had more fun with it and teased you but he didn't want to do that. He wasn't the type to play games and so the next time he saw you he just asked you out. 

It was a party at a mutual friend's house and Scoups had one thing on his agenda that evening. Mingyu could tell something was going on because Scoups was more tense than usual but he wouldn’t tell him what was bothering him, however it was pretty obvious the second you walked in. Scoups went right over to you and stayed there the entire night.

"Hey, you having a good time?" Scoups asked. You nodded "I am thanks what about you?". He nodded "yeah it's really nice seeing all the idols in a casual setting, do you want another drink?" he asked pointing at your empty one. You nodded and stood up but Scoups shook his head "no let me go grab you one, I'm heading that way anyway". "Aww thank you" you smiled and Scoups nodded.  When Scoups returned drink in hand you smiled at him. “Thanks Scoups, you’re such a nice guy” you smiled “it’s really refreshing and makes me so grateful to have you in my life”. Those words made Scoups heart soar and he smiled “well I couldn’t agree more but I was wondering if you’d maybe like to have me in your life a little more, if you aren’t sick of me of course”. You grinned “of course not! In what way were you thinking?”. “In a romantic way” Scoups said honestly “would you like to go on a date with me?”. You went bright red and Scoups found it adorable. You nodded your head “I’d love to!” before pausing “sorry did that sound too eager?”. “Not at all” Scoups smiled “I like you and it’s nice to see you like me too”. “That’s an understatement” you replied before pausing “I didn’t mean to say that out loud”. Scoups just grinned, blushing slightly and you decided it was the most beautiful smile you’d ever seen.

Jeonghan - Smug af

You could always tell when Jeonghan knew a secret you didn't because of the smug smile on his face. 

You'd met up for one of your movie nights and all through the film he kept glancing at you and then looking away with a smile. It was driving you crazy so eventually you just stopped the film and turned to him "okay spill". "Spill what?" he asked and you rolled your eyes "whatever it is that's making you look at me like that?". Jeonghan smiled "there's no reason, I just like looking at you". He'd always flirt with you when he didn't want to tell you the truth because he knew it embarrassed you. True to form you blushed but wouldn't let it go. "I know you Jeonghan and something is going on so please tell me!". "You like me" he said simply with a smile and you paused "what?". "You like me" he repeated sitting forwards "you have a crush on me and I know all about it". You blushed starting to panic "what? Who told you that?". "The who doesn't matter...the fact is you want me" Jeonghan grinned "and you can't even deny it". "I....I...." you babbled and Jeonghan just grinned popping a piece of popcorn into his mouth, so relaxed and smug. "I know" he smiled placing an arm around you "and I like you too".

You tensed in his embrace but he was just so chill. “You do?” you asked turning to look at him and he nodded. “Yeah, have for ages but glad you let it slip first”. “How did I?” you asked and he smiled “I heard you talking to Scoups about it and frankly I was impressed. You must’ve used some serious manipulation to get him to keep it from me and I thought I couldn’t be any more attracted to you”. You were now bright red and your jaw actually dropped when Jeonghan said how he was attracted to you. He saw your reaction and smiled “you’re adorable flustered” and pressed a kiss to your cheek. 

Joshua - Confident af #1

Everyone always pigeonholed Joshua as sweet and polite and while he was both of those things he also had a more mischievous side. When he liked a girl he was the perfect gentleman, flirting a little but not too much and made sure to always remain respectful in case she didn't like him back but when he knew she liked him...then he kicked it up a notch.

"Hey Y/n" you heard someone call and turned to see it was Joshua. He must've just come off stage because he had that post-performance glow and looked really good in his outfit. Although somehow he'd gotten a red lollipop and was twirling it around in his mouth which made it hard to focus at first but after a few seconds you managed. You played it cool and nodded back to him "hey, how are you?". "Good...well better than good I'm great actually". You smiled "that's good" and Joshua nodded his eyes fixed on you "see I had a chat with Nayeon earlier and she told me some interesting things". You froze as he mentioned Nayeon, your worst member at keeping secrets. You'd purposefully not told her about your crush for that reason. You'd only told Jihyo but all it took was for her to tell one person and them to tell another until... You struggled to look Joshua in the eye but tried to play it cool leaning against the wall. "Ow yeah?" you asked and Joshua followed leaning against the wall too with an arm but with his height and the close proximity it just meant he was hovering over you.  "Yeah...so how long have you liked me then?" he asked his eyes never leaving you for a second. You dropped what you were holding and of course Joshua caught it, smirking as you blushed when your fingers touched as he gave it back to you. "I...Nayeon said I liked you?". Joshua nodded taking the lolly out of his mouth with a satisfying pop. "Well not in words but she implied it...so is it true?" he asked with a smile. You were still bright red and couldn't look up "I erm...why do you want to know?". Joshua chuckled and leaned in closer "because I think it is true and I think the way you’re looking at me right now is insanely hot". Your brain was a mess so you only processed what he said a few seconds later. "Wait you do?" you asked and he grinned. "Yeah but then again I think everything you do is hot.  Whenever you perform on stage it drives me crazy because I want you so much but I guess the question is..." he moved back so he could look you in the eye "do you want me too?". He now had you practically trapped against the wall an arm on either side of your head and everything about this made it hard to breathe. From how close his lips were to yours, to the amazing colour of his eyes and how hot his cologne smelt but that question was definitely the thing that pushed you over the edge. "I want you" you nodded and then cringed at how raspy and deep your voice had gotten but Joshua didn't seem to mind. He just grinned widely, his eyes doing that adorable smile thing you loved and nodded "great, how’s this Saturday?". You nodded "perfect actually". "Perfect" he replied "I'll pick you up at 7" and with that he strut away leaving you a mess in the space of a mere five minutes.  

Jun - Loses the ability to speak

You and Jun had been a pretty great MC duo. You were natural together, the lines flowed and you had cute interactions. Therefore Jun was counting his first night as an MC as a success. He only had the closing to do which wasn't until the group finished performing. So he was taking a sip of water backstage when he spotted you reappearing from hair and makeup. He was going to go stand beside you when he saw one of your leader Solar, from your group Mamamoo, approached and hug you. He smiled, pleased they were congratulating you for doing such a great job when something they said made him pause. 

"Congratulations you did it! And you thought you were going to be awful together". You sighed laughing "well I wasn't sure how it would work when you've got a huge crush on your MC partner. I was scared I'd be dumbstruck every time Jun looked at me with those gorgeous eyes but it was okay! It took me a few seconds at first but he's so nice and made me feel so comfortable I managed to get past his amazing looks". Solar laughed "you more than certainly did and the chemistry between you two! It's amazing you suit each other so well". 

Jun could see you were blushing profoundly and was glad it wasn't just him. In the space of those 10 seconds he felt like the room had gotten 50 degrees hotter and his brain was a mess. You liked him? HIM? How? Why? 

However before he could process it the stage manager appeared and told him to get into place for the last segment. Some cards were placed in his hand and he was pushed onto the stage still dazed. A few seconds later you appeared and smiled at him "we're almost there!". He nodded but could barely process what was happening. Then the cameras started counting down and they were live... but Jun couldn't speak. Everyone froze as he just stared at the camera and he could feel you next to him hesitating. The staff behind the camera were waving their arms around trying to get his attention but he just couldn't speak right now. His brain wasn’t working but thankfully you came to his rescue. You'd paid enough attention in rehearsal to know what his lines were and you said them for him. "Welcome back everyone! We hope you've had as much fun as we've had tonight but sadly this is our last award. However don't fret we've definitely saved the best till last, right Jun?". Jun moved as he heard you say your name and he looked at you. You were staring at him almost pleadingly but you didn't look angry like the others, more worried. That made him feel a little better so he smiled and nodded "yes certainly...it's the one you've all been waiting for billboard of the year!". He was too scared to turn his cards over but you had this. "So without further ado we'll pass you over to our colleagues and we wish you a very warm night from Mamamoo's Y/n..." you hesitated and Jun took that as his moment. "And Seventeen's Jun!". "Goodnight!" you both said together and the cameras cut. 

"Jun are you okay?"  you asked him immediately and he nodded "yeah I'm, fine I just...got some really big news in the break and it shocked me". You frowned "I'm so sorry, I hope everything's okay?". He nodded "yeah thanks I just really have to go". You nodded "of course I’ll explain everything to them you just go". He nodded very grateful and ran from the room. He had no idea what he was going to do about your revelation but now he was safely out of the danger zone he smiled to himself. His crush liked him back. With a new jig in his step he headed out of the studio. 

Hoshi - Confident af #2 

You arrived at the bar where everyone was gathered for Jeonghan’s birthday and spotted the huge group immediately. You greeted the birthday boy and then began to look for a place to sit. “Y/n!” you heard someone call and saw Hoshi waving to you “sit here, I saved it for you”. You smiled “wow thanks Hoshi” and slipped into the chair. You took off your coat and nodded to the people around you before spotting what Hoshi was wearing “wow you look nice!” you said complimenting his black sheer top. Hoshi smiled “thanks, what do you like about it so much? The fact it’s seethrough?”. You blushed slightly and shrugged “well it doesn’t hurt”. Hoshi smiled “good thing I wore it for you then isn’t it?” he said with a wink “let me get you a drink” and he disappeared leaving you flustered. 

“Is something wrong with Hoshi?” you asked Vernon and Seungkwan who were across from you. “No...why? What makes you say that?” Seungkwan asked. You laughed “well he’s usually flirty but this is something else. Is he drunk?”. “I don’t think so” Seungkwan said and then you noticed Vernon nudging him slightly. You heard Vernon mutter “tell her” and Seungkwan muttered something back in response, “Tell me what?” you asked and their eyes shot up to you “you’re not very good at whispering you know”. Seungkwan sighed “so...someone might’ve accidentally let slip to Hoshi about your crush on him”. “What!” you cried and Vernon shook his head “and by someone he means himself. Seungkwan shot him a glare before turning to you “Y/n I’m so sorry! It just slipped out”. “How?” you cried and he sighed “Hoshi was worried you might not make it tonight because work’s been so crazy lately and I said you’d come purely because he was going to be here and I never meant for him to hear but he heard and asked what I meant and it all slipped out...”.  “You’re unbelievable!” you began when Vernon shook his head “Hoshi’s coming” and you all pretended to be chatting normally. 

“Here you go” Hoshi said putting a drink down in front of you “I got your favourite”. You smiled “thanks Hoshi” and he smiled hanging an arm around the back of your chair “it’s no problem”. “Hoshi it’s come to my attention that someone might’ve possibly told you something about me”. Seungkwan actually shielded his eyes with his hand and pretended he wasn’t there. Hoshi just smiled “yeah I know all about your big crush on me”. Your eyes widened at how upfront he was being and you blushed “I...wanted to talk to you about it”. “It’s true isn’t it?” Hoshi asked still smiling “I can tell by how you can’t look at me”. You blushed “I...well yes but I didn’t want to tell you this way”. “Well how did you want to tell me?” Hoshi asked wiggling his eyebrows and you laughed “Stop! You’re making me blush”. “Y/n I hate to tell you this but you’ve blushed about 10 times in the past 5 minutes”. You blushed again and Hoshi giggled. You tried to cover your face but he grabbed your hand “don’t it’s cute...so do you wanna go out sometime?”. “If I say yes will you stop torturing me?”. “It’s a date” Hoshi said pressing a quick kiss to your cheek. 

Wonwoo - The king of being smooth and subtle 

When Wonwoo found out you liked him, all his members wanted him to rush in and ask you out but Wonwoo never did anything haphazardly. So he waited and put his great mind to work. 

The two of you always finished at the same time on Wednesdays and would go grab a coffee together as a treat. Wonwoo had planned this to be the place and so he subtly started putting his plan into place. “How’s your schedule been lately? Really busy? Much personal time?” Wonwoo asked as you sat down. You shrugged “now‘s actually been a pretty good time. We’ve had some downtime so I was considering picking up a new language or something. What about you?”. Wonwoo smiled “yeah this is a quieter time for me too, maybe we can spend more time together?”. You blushed slightly and nodded “yeah that’d be great” and Wonwoo smiled, so far so good. 

“I really like your jumper by the way, you’ve been looking great lately” Wonwoo said suddenly and you seemed shocked by the compliment. “Thanks! We’ve been on this new exercise plan and it’s weights as well as cardio which is fun”. Wonwoo nodded “it’s really paying off, you look amazing!”. You blushed a lot more obviously this time and thanked him “you look good too”. Wonwoo thanked you and decided to go for it. 

“So Y/n...are you seeing anyone right now?” he asked. You froze and looked at him panicked before fixing a smile on your face “no I'm not, are you?”. Wonwoo shook his head “as a matter of fact I'm not but I have had my eye on this girl for a while”. “Oh?” you asked casually but Wonwoo could see your hand shaking slightly. “Yeah she’s from our company and she’s really great. She’s pretty, smart and super funny”. You smiled meeting his eyes “she sounds great, who is she?”. Wonwoo smiled “the girl sitting across from me”. Your jaw dropped and you actually did a quick check there was nobody behind you making Wonwoo chuckle “it’s you Y/n”. You blushed and met his gaze before looking away “I...had no idea”. Wonwoo smiled “yeah I’ve been told I can be pretty hard to read that’s why I figured I better just tell you...after doing some investigating of my own. See I'd heard you liked me but wanted to test the waters”. Your eyes widened “so that’s what all the questions and compliments were about”. Wonwoo shrugged “yeah but I meant everything I said, I want to spend more time with you and you do look amazing!”. You blushed again and Wonwoo thought it was adorable “so about spending more time together...are you free tomorrow night?” Wonwoo asked “if you’d like to go out with me that is?”. You said yes of course. 

Woozi - Literally doesn’t give any indication he knows

When Woozi heard the rumour you liked him he simply decided not to do anything. He didn’t want to pay any attention to gossip and he figured you’d act on your feelings when/if you were ready. So the two of you carried on as normal and it was 2 weeks before you even realised he knew. 

You were over at Woozi’s for your monthly movie night and he was laid on one end of the sofa while you took the other. You loved these movie nights partly because of your crush on the incredibly talented kpop idol but also because it was just a fun way to spend time with Woozi. However halfway through something kicked off in the kitchen (DK set the toaster on fire) and Woozi told you to stay here and he’d sort it. When he’d been gone a while you decided to call your friend Red Velvet’s Joy, who was also friends with Seventeen. “Hey, where are you?” Joy asked picking up the phone and hearing the background noise. “At Woozi’s, I think Dk’s destroyed the kitchen again”. “Well that’s what happens when you leave Dk unsupervised” she laughed “so how’s your date going?”. “It’s not a date we’re just friends” you replied and Joy laughed “sure but Woozi wouldn’t invite you over if he didn’t return your feelings. He’d surely have stopped it after the rumour got out”. You frowned “rumour, what rumour?”. There was silence on the other end until Joy gasped “wait has nobody told you? I leave the country to tour and everything goes to shit”. “What rumour!” you repeated and she explained everything. A month ago a rumour was going around that you liked Woozi.

You were horrified but it all made sense. The reason the members kept smiling at you or why they kept whispering things to Woozi. You couldn’t believe you hadn't realised but wondered why Woozi never said anything. As if summoned Woozi reappeared “it’s all sorted...woah are you okay? You look super pale”. Unlike Woozi you couldn’t keep a secret and you caved straight away “why didn’t you say anything when you found out I liked you?”. Woozi immediately blushed and looked down “I...well I figured you’d tell me when you were ready and I didn’t want to startle you”. “I had no idea you even knew! Joy just told me now”. Woozi frowned “I’m sorry I thought you knew I knew! See this is why I stay away from gossip, too much drama!”. Despite everything that was so typical Woozi it made you smile before going serious again. “What did you think?” you asked. Woozi paused “about you...the rumour?”. You nodded “when you heard it?”. Woozi hated emotions and feelings but for you he could handle it. “Well I liked it” he admitted and you smiled “you did?”. He nodded “of course! Y/n it’s no secret I'm pretty anti-social but I’d choose to be with you over being alone 90% of the time...okay minimum 80% but that’s the lowest I swear. Everyone else it’s like 50%”. You laughed again and smiled “yeah for you that’s pretty huge”. Woozi nodded “yeah so I like you too...in case you were wondering”. Woozi was a blushing mess and you sensed he had reached his emotional limit so you took his hand in yours and played the movie once again. Woozi snook an arm around you and fitted you against him. Sometimes gossip can be a good thing. 

Dk - Incredibly goofy

It took Dk a while to believe you really were into him but when he did he became overjoyed. He had a permanent smile on his face and nothing could get him angry. Or well it could but as soon as the members said your name he was all smiles again. So DK was hopelessly smitten and it came out even worse when he was around you. 

You were around quite a lot as you were Mingyu’s sister and new to the city, plus Dk invited you to literally any event before even Mingyu had the chance to. He was also the first in line to hug you every time, way ahead of your brother. Case in point, the second he saw your car pull up outside the house he was out of his seat.“Y/n’s here!” Dk called and rushed to the door. He barged into Joshua, sending the poor boy crashing into the wall but hurried past him to the door. He threw it open and smiled “hey y/n”. “Hi Dk! Wow you look great tonight” you called and Dk blushed “I do?” and a horrible laugh escaped before he could stop it. He clasped his hand over his mouth but it was too late. He stared at you horrified but you just smiled “yes of course you do! Cute laugh by the way”. Dk blushed even more and the guys were worried he might have a heart attack. “Mingyu go greet your sister before Dk has a cardiac arrest” Scoups called and Mingyu swept in to separate the two of you. 

Dk stepped away from you and watched from a distance. He went to lean his arm on the mantlepiece but slipped and elbowed Joshua instead. Vernon laughed at the look on Joshua’s face as Dk apologised. “Please just ask her out before you kill me!” Joshua cried. “I can’t...what if she doesn’t say yes?”. “Dk she laughed when you did that ugly laugh and called it cute, I think there’s nothing more certain in the world than her liking you”. “You really think so?” Dk cried and the others groaned. 

The8 had finally snapped and he walked up to you “Y/n would you like to go out with Dk sometime? He’s free this Friday and really likes you”. Dk froze as if someone had electrocuted him but you just blushed. “Yeah I’d love to...” you nodded looking across the room to him and Dk did that ugly laugh again. All the members burst into laughter as Dk tried to hide behind Seungkwan however the boy pushed him away and Dk fell on the floor. He just decided to stay there when you appeared above him. Dk sat up so quickly that he nearly headbutted you and you only just got out of the way. He apologise profoundly and you told him it was okay. “I was serious when I said yes” you told him “if you would like to hang out this Friday?”. Dk nodded so quickly he heard his neck click “I’d love to”. Great” you smiled and Dk nodded smiling back “great!”. The two of you were a love-sick mess the rest of the night.  

Mingyu - really really happy 

You would think, given the number of people who have found this man attractive, that people having a crush on him would’ve lost its touch but when Mingyu found out you liked him the opposite happened. 

First he quizzed his members a lot to ensure they had accurate information. Then when Scoups got mad after several hours and told Mingyu not to ask them about it anymore he started to get that warm happy feeling as he realised the girl he was interested in had a crush on him. He’d hoped you might, the two of you talked often and hung out together whenever you could but to have this confirmation was excellent. So he decided to make a cake and a huge meal to celebrate. 

He totally forgot you had a key and were house-sitting for The8′s plant, so when you walked in he panicked. “Wow it smells amazing in here!” you called and Mingyu froze “Y/n! Hey, what are you doing here?”. You smiled “I’m looking after The8 plants while he’s away remember?”. “Oh yeah of course” he nodded and you smiled at him “so what’s the occasion?”. “The occasion for what?” he asked and you grinned “this!” gesturing around the kitchen “I know you bake when you’re happy so did you have some good news or something?”. Mingyu went bright red and was considering telling you when Hoshi beat him to it. He didn’t see you sitting at the table as there were cookies on the counter that demanded his full attention. “Cookies! You finding out about Y/n’s crush on you is the best thing that ever happened to us!” Hoshi cheered biting into one. Mingyu froze and Hoshi frowned “what?” he asked, his mouth full of cookies when he turned and saw you. Hoshi panicked and said hello before running out of the room (with the cookies of course). “So...” you said “you know?”. Mingyu nodded “yeah...”. “And it made you bake?” you asked “so you’re happy about it”. “Of course!” Mingyu nodded “why wouldn’t I be? You're amazing”. You blushed at the smile on his face and nodded “so I take it you’d like to go on a date or something?”. Mingyu dropped the tray he was holding and nodded “let’s go!”. You laughed “we don’t have to go right this second, finish what you’re making. I’ll wait”. Mingyu nodded giggling slightly with giddiness “okay”.  

The 8 - Gentleman x 1000

Step aside Joshua we have a new gentleman in town. When The8 heard the other members circulating a rumour you liked him, he made them stop immediately. "Just what do you think you're doing?" he asked Dk, Hoshi and Dino as they sat giggling. Dk smiled "we weren't doing anything!". "I heard you telling Woozi that y/n likes me". "Yeah"  Dino said nodding happily and The8 shook his head "what gives you the right to tell anyone Y/n's personal business?". The smiles dropped off their faces "but we thought you'd be pleased..." Hoshi said and The8 shook his head. "I'd never be pleased to hear gossip. Leave Y/n alone and don't tell another soul, you go it?". The three boys all nodded. Meanwhile you had no idea the rumour was out until you saw two dancers smirking at you. "What's their problem?" you asked and your friend Le Sserafim’s Sakura hesitated "they know about your thing for The8". "What! How?" you cried and Sakura explained how you'd been overheard the other day on the phone. You were furious and marched over to them "look I know you don’t owe me anything but you could at least try and be professional at work and not spread my personal life around". One of them rolled their eyes "calm your horses we're not telling anyone after what happened when The8 found out, we don't need that kind of telling-off". You froze and asked them what they meant. Later when you saw The8 you jumped but had made up your mind about this so you approached him. "Hey" you called and The8 smiled at you "hey Y/n how are you?". "Well a lot better thanks to you apparently, I know some rumours about me got out and I heard you did a lot to stop them from getting any further so thank you so much. You didn’t have to do that and I really appreciate that you did". The8 shook his head "no need to thank me, you deserve to be treated correctly". You blushed and went to walk away when The8 chased after you "Y/n?". "Yeah?". "On a completely unrelated note, would you like to go out with me Friday night?". You grinned a huge blush on your cheeks "I'd love to". The8 smiled "great, I'll text you" and he walked away. 

It always pays to be the nice guy.  

Seungkwan - Word vomit every time you're around 

Seungkwan had been absolutely fine chatting with you...before he realised you liked him. The second he realised you had a crush on him he completely clammed up and couldn’t think of a thing to say to you. The king of variety shows was a mess! 

To make things worse he saw you a lot as you worked for the same company. This week alone had been a disaster. On Monday you asked him how his weekend had been and he just nodded. On Wednesday you were behind him in the queue for coffee and asked how the new comeback was going. He proceeded to tell you the lyrics of the whole song and even did some of the choreo before running away. On Friday you asked if he needed a lift home after seeing him walking and he told you he was cycling home. “I thought you couldn’t ride a bike?” you asked and Seungkwan nodded “I can’t but got to learn somehow” and took a random bicycle off the side of the road and started peddling. Luckily the bicycle’s owner intervened shortly after you left, saved him from driving into the road and agreed not to have him arrested. 

So it had been a pretty bad week but there was an award show on Saturday and he just knew something was going to happen. Surely enough he saw you coming towards him on the corridor and you spotted him. "Hey Seungkwan! Cool jacket, where is it from?”. Seungkwan panicked and just said “Spain” because he knew you’d recently been to Spain and that was the first thing that popped into his head. “Ow cool I just got back from there, where in Spain?”. “Errrrr Madrid?” he said cautiously and you nodded “cool, my friend is from there. Did you do anything nice? Go to any museums or anything?”. Seungkwan shook his head “no”. “No?” you asked and Seungkwan froze “Well yes, yes we did!  Sorry I went with my family when I was a kid so I don’t remember it well”. “So you saw that jacket when you went to Madrid as a kid and bought it for your adult self?” you asked confused. Seungkwan just nodded figuring he may as well go along with the lie “yep! I was an odd child. I picked out a lot of my clothes then”. “Wow I didn’t know that, well congratulations to past you, I guess?”. Seungkwan burst out laughing like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard and you smiled along. “You look pretty good tonight too! Well not pretty good you look absolutely amazing!”. You blushed “aw thanks I wasn’t sure if I could pull off this type of dress”. “You can hear absolutely anything in the world” Seungkwan said and he began to list all the items of clothing you would look good in. You stopped him about 30 seconds in “Seungkwan?”. “Yeah?” he asked still picturing you in a cagoule. “Would you like to go on a date sometime?”. Seungkwan froze “with you?”. You laughed “yeah I’d be there”. “Yes! I’d love that” Seungkwan smiled and you grinned “great I'll text you my availability” and walked away. Seungkwan smiled widely “I totally killed that” and carried on walking. 

Vernon - Watches you more 

Vernon didn’t quite believe his members when they told him the news. Sure the two of you were close and he liked you but that meant nothing. His members all claimed he was blind and should just ask you out but Vernon was naturally cautious, so he decided to play it cool. He watched you instead looking for any hint you might like him. He watched as you chatted with Hoshi and did notice your eyes drifting towards him often. Then when you played the mafia game you voted to save him and kept him in the game. Finally when you all went for food you manoeuvred yourself into a seat beside him. 

Vernon was beginning to think his members hadn’t been lying when he realised there was another explanation for your behaviour all night...he had been staring at you pretty much the whole time. 

“Hey Vernon can I ask you something?” you asked and he nodded “what’s up?”. “Is everything okay? I’ve just noticed you’ve been watching me tonight”. Vernon went pink as he realised he must’ve been so obvious. He’d been told he could look vacant and odd when he stared and hoped that wasn’t the impression you’d gotten from him. “Yeah everything’s fine...sorry I was just trying to work something out that’s why I kept looking at you”. You frowned “what were you trying to figure out?”. Vernon paused and tried to come up with a lie but he couldn’t so he just stuttered. “Vernon?” you asked and he just cried “they said you liked me!”. You froze and Vernon cursed himself. Why couldn’t he just have said he liked your outfit or was wondering if you’d had your hair done? “Who said that?” you asked and Vernon paused “the guys and I was trying to work out if it’s true”. You nodded and didn’t seem upset which Vernon figured was good. “So what do you think?” you asked and Vernon paused “what?”. “Do you think they were telling the truth?” you asked shooting him a look that made him shake “do I have a thing for you?”. Vernon swallowed “erm I’m not sure...maybe”. You smiled “if I did would that be a problem?”. Vernon shook his head “no...more the opposite actually”, Your smile grew and Vernon thought you looked beautiful. “Good to know” you replied and you didn’t take your eyes off one another the rest of the night. 

Dino -  Overly confident...until you come near him

When Dino heard you liked him he was thrilled. He’d a had crush on you the first time he saw you as a dancer on stage but had never approached you out of professional courtesy (and the fact he was terrified). However when the guys overheard from another idol that you liked him too they told him he had to tell you and a sucker for peer pressure Dino agreed. 

“So when are you going to tell her?” Mingyu asked and Dino sighed. You were across the room with your Everglow members and all his members had been asking for the past 40 minutes when he was going to tell you. “In a minute” he said and Scoups smirked “you’ve been saying that for the past hour!”. “No I haven’t! I’ve got it all planned out and I’m just waiting for the right moment”. Jeonghan laughed “ow yeah? So what’s the plan?”. Dino took a breath "I'm going to walk over to her and tell her the award show story". Vernon burst out laughing "the award show story? Really?". "Yeah it's romantic!" Dino cried while Joshua frowned "what's the award show story". Dino was ready to launch into it when Seungkwan cut him off "Y/n caught a piece of confetti in her hands during a performance one time and he thought it was really cool so he learned how to do it and came back the next year and did it in front of her, the end". Dino frowned annoyed that Seungkwan had taken his story when Vernon hit his shoulder "you were saying?". "Ow yeah...tell her the story and then ask her out". The8 who was done hearing about this cheered "yeah you go Dino! Go ask her out right now!" and he gave him a push out of the circle. Dino dragged his feet but when it was clear the guys weren’t going to let up he shrugged. "Fine I will!" and marched over to where you were stood.

The closer and closer he got the more his confidence began to waver and he slowed down as he got closer. He stopped and looked back to see his members laughing and encouraging him to go closer. He wanted to but his feet just wouldn't move so he was frozen in place. He was panicking wondering what to do when he heard a voice. "Excuse me Dino?". He turned to come face to face with you and almost yelled he was so startled. "Yeah?" he asked putting on a false smile. "I was just wondering if you knew where the bar is? We've been here 20 minutes and still can't find it". Your members all nodded embarrassed but Dino didn't think you could ever do anything embarrassing. He nodded "yeah of course I'm heading that way myself why don't I show you?". You smiled "really? That'd be great thanks" and you set off together. When he passed the members he smiled smugly showing them he'd done it but Scoups just pushed him. "We all know you didn’t ask her anything, you coward!" and he was a blushing mess once again. Dino would work up the courage eventually, for now he was just going to spend some quality time with you.  

[hearthotchner]

flowers, petnames, and, apologies

— inspired by this post, which was prompted by a tiktok sound

walking into the bullpen, derek morgan couldn’t help but notice the person delivering a large bouquet of flowers, “woah woah woah, who are these for?” he asked, assuming they were for one of his female co-workers.

“um.. a mr aaron hotchner?”

derek’s eyebrows raised in surprise, and his jaw dropped, just before the expression was replaced with a mischievous smirk, “let me take this off your hands, i’ll give ‘em to him.”

after bidding the delivery man a thank you and goodbye, derek carefully placed it onto his empty desk; almost immediately, his coworkers surrounded him, intrigued by the colourful array of flowers that lay on his desk.

the bouquet wasn’t overwhelmingly bright, yet it wasn’t void of hues either. they were light, soft, pastel colours — easy on the eyes — majorly white, but with splashes of light yellows, baby pinks and reds dotted around, with, just a hint of blue.

“do you know who they’re from?” penelope’s voice piped up.

before morgan could respond, he was cut off by reid, “most likely a partner. did you guys know that lily of the valley actually represents new beginnings, which is why they’re used for various occasions: weddings, baby showers. and, the blue hyacinths show a desire to make peace — they’re apology flowers, the colours are those usually used to display remorse.” his voice got higher as he got more excited about the topic, “oh! and roses are typically used for a romantic partner, and are normally pink or red; in this instance they’re yellow, and there’s a lot of them, meaning they’re likely to be his favourites.”finally taking in the bewildered looks of his colleagues, the young genius smiled sheepishly at them, quickly shutting himself up.

“you look way too far into things, reid.” derek rolled his eyes, “they’re probably just an early valentine.”

“there’s a note.” jj pointed out — it was hidden inbetween a couple roses.

as derek reached for it, penelope scolded him, “hey! stop messing it up! we really shouldn’t be snooping, you know he likes his privacy.” she frowned, attempting to remain mature, “but i wanna know so badly- be careful!” she lightly smacked his arm.

with confidence that he was right, derek flipped the note over to read it out loud; the smirk wiped off his face at the first two words he saw, “i’m sorry.” he read in annoyance, while glaring at spencer — but nothing could prepare any of them for the next words,

“miss you pookie bear?”

—

meanwhile, said pookie bear was sat at his desk, paying no mind to what was going on in the bullpen, with his head in his hands: your argument from the night before being the only thing he could think about.

—

“this is the third time you’ve done this, aaron.”disappointment evident in your voice.

“i know, i’m sorry.” there were his empty apologies, “i got caught up at work, i lose track of time.” and his pathetic attempts to excuse his negligence of your relationship.

“but you always do this, you’re never here. you never text, or call, and i’m waiting up until 12 in the morning for you.”

“look, we’ll talk about it in the morning, i’m tired.” he sighed.

“we won’t, because you’ll be gone before i wake up.” you were telling the truth — that’s exactly what he did the next morning, left for work without saying a word.

he furrowed his eyebrows in frustration, “you knew what it was going to be like when we started dating, you said you could handle it. my job is demanding.”

rightfully so, you were becoming upset, “not for paperwork! i understand that you get called away abruptly, and i love that you value other peoples lives before your own — it’s why i fell in love with you.” you smiled at him softly, although, it wasn’t for long. “but, i’m talking about when you’re cooped up in the office for so long, there’s no reason for you to be staying there for that much time, after everyone else has left.”

then, everything went quiet for a bit, with you waiting for him to provide some sort of explanation, and when you didn’t get that, you continued, “i just think… if you had to choose between me or your job, you’d pick your job with no hesitation.”

the lack of response caused your face to fall, “i’m sleeping in the guest room tonight, aaron.”

he should’ve done something, anything. instead, he ran away, avoided you like a coward, using his office as a place to seek refuge from taking accountability for his actions.

one time, you told him he was bravest man you ever knew — he almost laughed at how wrong you were.

history was repeating itself. you were his second chance at love, and he was making the same old mistakes, that cost him his family. aaron thought he had changed, swore to himself that he’d never do something like this again. but, here he was, having someone waiting at home, willing to drop anything for him, yet he wouldn’t do the same.

picking up his phone, he dialled your number.

it rang out for a minute, before going to voicemail — he hoped you were just busy, and weren’t already walking out of his life.

“hey,” he breathed “i wanted to say i’m sorry, for last night, this morning.. everything really. i shouldn’t have left, and i should’ve said something.” closing his eyes, he stopped himself from rambling, because you deserved to hear it in person, “i’ll be home soon, and we can talk.. please call me back.” please don’t leave me. “i love you.”

hurriedly gathering his things, aaron walked out of his office; path coming to a stop when he saw his team staring at him, all looking a little smug. a puzzled look found it’s way onto the unit chiefs face.

“hey there snookums.” derek grinned.

aaron quirked a brow, frown deepening, “what?”

stifling a giggle, emily gestured to the bouquet, “someone sent you flowers.”

knowing exactly who sent them, he swiftly excused himself to set it up in his office.

when he read the note, he felt his lips curve up slightly, and he jokingly huffed at the petname — you always loved making him blush and laugh with the obscure names you’d come up with for him.

but, why were you apologising? you did nothing wrong. it should’ve been him doing this, not you.

right as his thoughts began to spiral, they were interrupted by a buzzing in his pocket.

“hi, aaron! did you get my gift?” hearing the sweet sound of your voice, so excited and happy to speak to him, brought a sense of relief over him.

rough hands slowly reached over to feel the soft yellow rose petals. “yeah, i did. thank you.” his brows tilted upwards, guilt kicking in again, “why are you saying sorry?”

“‘cause, i shouldn’t have accused you of choosing your job over me, it wasn’t right to push that on you-”

were you out of your mind?

“sweetheart, please stop.” he begged. “you haven’t done anything wrong. telling me how you feel isn’t wrong — telling me that i’m not doing enough isn’t wrong. we need to tell each other these things.” he shut down your attempts to put yourself at unnecessary fault. “i know i haven’t been around lately, but i’m gonna change that. i promise. i want to be deserving of your love, (y/n).”

“you already are, aaron.” you whispered.

“i’m leaving now, so i’ll talk to you at home. i have a bunch of free days to use, and we have lost time to make up for.” he smiled.

closing the door behind him for a second time, aaron scanned the room, his team no longer huddled in one spot, now at their desks; still deep in a conversation he didn’t care that much for.

the bullpen fell silent at the sight of him with his briefcase and keys in his hand, shocked that he was leaving early — not even on time.

morgan, of course, was the first to talk, “where’re you off to in such a hurry honeybunny?” snickering at his own joke.

“don’t make me flag you for creating a hostile work environment, derek.”

“that’s not funny!”

[jaemmphilia]

★ 𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘦 ★ || b.c

★ summary: celebrating a first anniversary as a married couple has to be special. too bad chan was called into work right in the middle of his dinner with his husband, y/n. y/n understands, he really does, but this is their first anniversary for crying out loud. y/n sends chan off with a bitter smile and an idea in his head. chan deserves a night of relaxation for being such a hardworking husband.

★ characters: bang chan, y/n

★ warnings: semi-fluffy, very nasty, chan calls reader a pretty boy, some language but not a lot, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

★ word count: ~1.8K words

★ requested?: yep, thanks a lot anon!

★ binnie's thoughts: this was requested by a lovely anon, and i originally planned to get one of my wips out first, but this request literally plagued my dreams,,, so enjoy!

★ disclaimer: this fic in absolutely NO way represents the stray kids members as people. this is just for fun, so don't take it to heart. just enjoy!

As soon as you heard the door close and the familiar sound of the locks being turned, you quickly began to clean up the remains for your supposedly romantic dinner with a heavy heart. Of course you understand that Chan’s line of work can be demanding, but it is your first anniversary as a married couple. 

The wedding was truly one-of-a -kind. It was small, with your parents attending as well as Chan’s own parents and siblings, and the other members of Stray Kids being present. The remaining seven members argued who was going to be Chan’s best man, each one of them spouting the generous things they have all done for their leader. Chan wrangled his kids and told them they could all be his best men. All of them gave each other pointed looks before agreeing. Sweet little Jeongin didn’t want to be Chan’s best man, he actually wanted to be yours. And what kind of monster would you be if you said no to his sweet smile and shining eyes? 

You and Chan met in high school, with you being a foreign exchange student, there was a heavy language barrier, so you didn’t really have many friends. You often sat alone in the classroom at lunch, until Chan came and pulled a chair up to your desk. When you looked up to see who was sitting by you, your jaw dropped. A mop of curly, dark mahogany hair and round eyes to match greeted you. Chan looked at you with a bright smile, his eyes crinkling and disappearing. You both introduced yourselves and the rest is pretty much history.

 You followed Chan everywhere he went, you stuck by his side through it all. His debut, the hours upon hours of grueling training. You called him every night while he was away on various tours and interviews, you would stay up late with him on the phone while he continued to work, his insomnia getting the best of him. He told you that your snores were like a soothing white noise to him. That statement earned him a slap on the arm. 

You smile to yourself as you wash the dishes. Your husband is so hardworking, always thinking of others before himself, not once complaining about having to do multiple things at once. But you can tell that it's taking a toll on him. He still smiles, but it’s not as bright or as often, and you frown, deciding that your husband needs a night of pure relaxation. 

After finishing with the dishes and cleaning up any other mess you see, you venture into your bedroom. You make your way to the bathroom and run a bath for yourself. You strip out of your comfy clothes and sink into the water, letting out a sigh at the feeling. You quickly trim your growing bush and make sure your skin is nice and soft for your husband. After your bath, you wrap a towel around your damp body and contemplate what to wear. 

Chan is a simple man, he thinks you look good in anything, whether it’s nothing at all or a trash bag. His libido isn’t very high but he can’t resist you, he thinks you’re the sexiest being to ever walk the Earth, and he has no problem telling you so. The two of you are very affectionate, so sex is usually soft and vanilla, but tonight you think it’s time to spice it up just a tad. You dig around in your shared closet and eventually pull out a small plastic bag containing something you bought so long ago. You planned to wear them one day, but the timing was never right, so you ultimately tossed the bag deep in the closet and forgot about it for about two years. 

Pulling the small box out of the plastic bag, you examine it carefully. A pretty black box with red ribbon wrapped around it, the store’s logo plastered on the side of the box. You untie the ribbon and lift the lid off the box. The black fabric blinks back at you, and you carefully grip the fabric in your hands. You carefully take the garments out of the box and you let your towel fall from your body. Taking a seat on the bed, you lift your leg and slide the black thigh-high stockings onto your limb. You like the way the band tightens around your plush thigh, the flesh pillowing around it. You slide on the second one and walk to your vintage full-length mirror. You move your legs in different positions, enjoying the way the stockings look against your skin tone. 

What you fail to notice is the figure standing behind you, leaning against the door frame of your bedroom. Chan’s eyes roam your naked body, his bottom lip between his teeth. Chan clears his throat, chuckling as he watches your frame jump in surprise, a startled gasp falling from your mouth. You quickly cover yourself up as you whip around to look at Chan with warm cheeks. He was supposed to be gone for at least two hours, so what the hell is he doing at home right now?

As if he could read your mind, Chan speaks up, “It was an easy fix, Changbin couldn’t figure out the right melody and Jisung was absolutely no help.”

“Oh, well. Uh, that’s good,” you mutter, quickly becoming more aware of the way Chan is looking at you right now.

“So, what’s this, hm? Is this a part of our anniversary?” Chan takes a step towards you, his eyes not leaving your face for a second. You look like a deer in headlights, eyes blown wide and your lips becoming red from nervous chewing. 

You simply nodded, not really trusting your voice to reply for you. You slowly uncover your lower body, allowing Chan to see the half-hard on you’re sporting. Chan takes a few shorts steps towards you and he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against his hard chest. 

“Well, this is a pleasant surprise.”

The next thing you feel is your body being lifted up and dropped onto the bed. You let out a soft yelp of surprise as you watch Chan lift his shirt up and over his head, tossing the item behind him. He grabs both of your legs, running his hands along the soft fabric covering your skin. He spreads the limbs a little as he leans down until he’s face to face with your dick. He places soft kisses to your inner thighs, causing little goose bumps to form across your arms and the back of your neck. 

“My husband is such a pretty boy, wearing these stockings just for me, huh?” Chan says, his warm breath fanning against your dick, causing it to twitch a bit. 

“Mmh, yes, Channie,” you answer, your hands gripping the duvet below you, your teeth toying with your bottom lip as you look at the gorgeous man in between your legs.

“Then I guess I better give this pretty boy a nice reward for doing something so nice for me,” with that, Chan’s tongue comes out and licks a long stripe from your puckered rim all the way to the tip of your dick.

The slurping sounds are loud in your ears as Chan uses his tongue to stretch your hole for him. He hums against your hole as his large hand jerks you off in tandem. You let out whines and little chants of Chan’s name, which only makes him want more. Your body is twitching and a light layer of sweat covers your skin. 

You’re so close to your release and Chan knows. Not wanting the moment to be ruined so quickly, he pulls away from your body. He gives you a smirk as he lifts his body up to remove the remainder of his clothes. Once Chan is as bare as the day he was born, he uses his hand to get himself to full hardness. As you watch him, a lightbulb goes off in your head. 

“Channie, I have an idea,” you call to him softly, your eyes zeroed in on his form. 

“Oh? What’s on your mind, darling?”

“Since I have these pretty stockings on, why don’t you fuck my thighs?” you try to keep your voice as soft and innocent as possible, and you push your plush thighs together for effect. 

Chan lets out the most delicious groan you have ever heard from him. “Darling, you always have the best ideas,” Chan praises you, and he walks towards your body, his hand on your knee.

Chan parts your thighs a bit, slipping his dick in between them. He tips his head back at the feeling, and he closes your thighs around his dick. He gives an experimental thrust, the soft fabric rubbing on his length in the best way. You love seeing your husband like this, blissed out and the usual furrow of his eyebrows long gone. 

Chan picks up the pace, the force of his hips hitting your ass causing your body to bounce up and down. Chan leans over you, capturing your lips with his, his tongue finding its way into your mouth, licking all in your mouth. Chan loves sloppy kisses, something about swapping spit with you makes the man go absolutely crazy. 

It isn’t long before Chan’s hips begin to skip and stutter, a telltale sign that he’s reaching his release. His moans and groans turn into whimpers and whines as he chants your name over and over. His curls are sticking to his head as the heat of your activities fills the room. 

“Can I cum on your pretty stockings, darling? I promise I’ll buy you a new pair, please let me cum on them,” Chan whines in your ear, his thrusts becoming irregular as he chases his release. 

“Yes, gods yes, Channie,” you answer him, your own release coming up fast. You wrap your arms around your husband, your grip on him nice and tight, just how he likes it. 

It isn’t much longer until Chan spills all over your thighs and a little on our stomach. He cries out in pleasure, his head tipped all the way back, his strong neck exposed to you. You finish after him, your own release splashing onto his abs and a bit on his chest. 

The two of you come down from your highs, just reveling in the embrace of one another. You’re both freshly washed, a movie playing on the television in front of you. Chan lets out a content hum. You’re massaging his shoulders and neck, helping the man get the knots out of his muscles. He loves receiving a massage after the two of you share an intimate moment together, and tonight is no different. You would do anything for your hardworking husband. 

[luvfy0dor]

I Like my Boyfriend !! ♡ Fyodor Dostoevsky x GN!Reader ༉‧₊˚.

╰┈➤ Word Count; 2.9k ♡

Warnings; Cheating, angst, some Sigma x reader, abandonment, perchance ooc

Description; Your boyfriend wasn't treated the best as a member of the DOA, the sole benefit being the casino he gets, but that casino is the very place his own partner starts to feel more for his boss than him.

A/N; Im so sorry y'all I know I should be doing requests instead but I think I won't be able to work on other stuff if I don't write this out ykwim 😞

The sky casino became just as much of your home as Sigmas when you started seeing him romantically. You spent many nights there, convincing Sigma to come and lie down with you when he was over working himself or massaging his shoulders after he had to deal with a stressful conflict between visitors. Sigma had welcomed you into his home with open arms once he was convinced you wouldn't take advantage of his naivety, sharing his rather short yet tragic life story and entrusting that you would be as loyal to him as he was to you.

The heels of Sigmas shoes clicked against the floor, making a soft tapping sound as you walked through the Casino corridors, his arm hooked around yours. His long, choppy hair fell over his shoulders so beautifully, the silky strands bouncing as he walked. He seemed tired today, having a little less pep in his step then usual, if you could even call it that. Energy was a better word, the poor boy looked utterly drained this morning. These are all the things you would usually notice and tell him about later, either through means of complimenting him or gently scolding him for spending too many hours memorizing small details about the casino's customers. Today was different, though. Your mind was clouded with the thoughts of someone else, another man, specifically the one you were so excitedly making your way to visit.

Ofcourse, whenever Sigma is around, you feigned strong dislike towards Fyodor, but that couldn't be further from the truth. You enjoyed your short time spent around Fyodor, he was utterly sublime in your eyes in every single category; smarts, looks, and honestly everything else. Despite his musty-seeming aura, he actually kept himself very hygienic. He showered every morning, alluring you with the clean and fresh scent of whatever soap he used to scrub away any accumulated dirt from the day prior. The quiet and quick glances you took of each other made your heart flutter, having to bite your lip in order to hold back a flustered, shaky breath.

You didn't realize just how emotionally disloyal you were to Sigma until he started ranting about Fyodor one evening and you objected him. It's not like you said anything too jaw dropping in your opinion, instead you said something along the lines of "Don't you think you're exaggerating a bit, honey? He's not all that bad." Was that the right thing to say to your boyfriend in that moment? No, absolutely not. Would that be the right thing to say to Sigma in literally any other moment? No, absolutely not². You knew that, you knew that real good and well, yet you couldn't stop your words once they already started to pour out of your mouth like a waterfall. The look of absolute shock and betrayal that painted Sigmas face was one you wouldn't forget in a million lifetimes. You could still hear the sound of his angered, yet not aggressive questions lingering in the back of your head at all times. Anytime you peeked in Fyodors direction with a blush on your face, you heard it.

"Y/n, are you being serious? You know about everything he's done, to me, to all those innocent people!" Sigma quietly murmured to you, the room falling silent with no white noise in the background to take your attention away from his truthful words. "And you really think he's not all that bad?" He says, visibly heartbroken, especially since he had shared all this with you; he trusted you to be the first person to back him up when he participated in Fyodor discourse, you taking the opposing side was something he could almost never predict. In all honesty, he didn't think you would have the heart to.

Sigma firmly believed that if you fell in love with another man, you would atleast tell him instead of leading him along like a horse with a carrot on a stick, but he was clearly wrong. He noticed your brief glances and exchanges with Fyodor, he noticed the way you started to get more nervous around him, and not the unsettling nervousness. It was the kind of nervousness a high schooler would have when talking with their crush. The kind of nervousness you get when you quickly interact with someone you've been so actively pursuing for months now, feeling as though you're finally making progress over a mumbled "excuse me" or "I'm sorry." Sigma believed that you were making progress with redirecting your hearts focus to him rather than to his superior, but today was going to either prove him right or wrong.

"Are you alright?" Sigma asks, the speed of his walking slowing down a bit as he turns to you, his eyes fluttering from your eyes to your lips quickly. You gave him a small smile and nodded. "Ofcourse, why do you ask?" You softly ask him, twirling some of his hair around your finger.

"No particular reason. You just seem a little...dazed this morning. Did you sleep well?" You hummed in confirmation, giving his hand a small squeeze. "Ofcourse I did, I had you sleeping next to me." You smile, knowing damn well you were lying through your teeth. You still loved Sigma, but recently many nights you found yourself gazing out the window, watching the stars for a while as you question your relationship with him. The main reason you stayed was because you weren't confident that Fyodor was in love with you the way you were in love with him.

"Alright." Sigma sighs, reaching for the handle of one of two big doors that towered over you both. "Let's just get this done and over with." He mumbles, pushing the door inwards and walking into the relatively spacious office. Fyodor sits in one of the chairs near Sigmas desk, adjusting his ushanka as he gazes at you both over his shoulder. "Good morning, Fyodor." Sigma says, sitting in his personal chair. Your eyes were glued on Fyodor as your brain turned off it's comprehension function, to dazed by the beauty of his gorgeous, purple eyes. You could hear both of the men speaking, but you had no idea what either of them were saying. You listened to the Russian accent in Fyodors voice, imagining him saying the things you wanted him to. You wanted to hear him tell you how lovely and fantastic you are, you wanted him to tell you he wanted to spend every moment of the day with you, your mind even slipping into fantasies of marrying him; envisioning pretty flowers on tables and what you would say in your vows.

You snapped out of your fantasy just in time to notice Fyodor looking straight at you, continuing to talk with sigma but staring into your soul. You blushed and averted your eyes from him for the very first time since you arrived in the room, diving back deep into your silly little fantasies about an average life with Fyodor before being so rudely interrupted by a loud and echoing knock. Sigma beckoned the person inside, the person only turning out to be one of the casinos many lower-ranked staff.

"Sigma, you're needed out on the floor. I'm not quite sure for what, but one of the customers requested to speak with you." This evoked a loud sigh from Sigma, who didn't really want to leave you alone with a man you had been "all over" a couple of months ago (and still were) , but he really had no choice. In the end, however, he would sacrifice you and your loyalty if it meant he got to keep the one thing he finds true, genuine, and unwavering stability in. The familiar sound and echo of his shoes fill in the silence, the door being left wide open deliberately. The staff member follows Sigma out onto the casino floor, leaving you and Fyodor in the room together, sitting across from each other. You stared at him for a moment, and leaned back in your chair.

"I noticed your staring. Do I have something on my face?" He asks, his calm yet teasing smile made a shiver run up your spine, giddy over the entire situation. Your boyfriend has stepped away, leaving you with your dream man. Alone. You shook your head at Fyodors question.

"No, no. Sorry." You mutter an apology, blushing. He hums, watching as you twiddle your thumbs or twirl your hair, doing anything you possibly could to avoid eye contact. He softly chuckles. "You seem so nervous around me...do I make you anxious? Are you scared of me?" He asks, continuing to tease you and trying to get you to admit your attraction, to which you shake your head quickly. "Not at all, no. I just...sorry, I didn't mean to stare...zoned out." You mumble. He lets out a soft "ohhh" , nodding and leaning back in his chair, his legs crossed.

The room falls silent for a moment, the clouds slowly passing by outside hold your attention. You can so clearly feel his eyes burning holes in the back of your head, and if that had hurt you, it must have been utterly agonizing for him. You turn to look at him, your head tilting ever so slightly. Your eyes immediately lock with his, creating even more tension in the room than you had previously thought possible. "I know where your attraction lies." He says with a smirk, resting his head on his slightly balled fists. Your face felt as though it had immediately lit up in flames of embarrassment, trying to arrange your words in the most intelligible way possible.

"Ofcourse you do, you're a smart man." You say, raising one of your eyebrows and bouncing your leg a bit. "Ah, and Sigma is not?" He mutters with a large grin. You sigh a bit, shaking your head.

"I don't recall saying that." He hums, nodding. "You didn't say that, but it was kind of implied. Unless, ofcourse, Sigma knows that you're far more interested in me than you are in him." He says, rising from his chair and walking over to you. He gently grasps your face, squeezing your cheeks ever so slightly between his thumb and every other finger. His gaze flickers between your eyes and lips in the same way Sigmas had earlier that day. This time, instead of feeling nothing at all, you felt a strong, almost magnetic urge to connect your lips to his. One of your hands found itself on Fyodors chest, the other on his thin bicep.

"You're right, it did sound that way. I think he knows, but I think he's really trying to salvage the relationship." You say, subconsciously leaning into Fyodors body. You barely felt sorry, any pang of guilt that nearly hit your heart was rebounded right off because of the high speed that Fyodor had caused it to beat at. The pure excitement and thrill you felt any time he acknowledged your existence made your heart flutter, easily overriding every other emotion. You knew he could feel it too, his eyes softening compared to when he conversed with Sigma, a new gentleness to them. His thumb gently caressed your jawline as he shamelessly stared at your lips. "Hm, so you're leading him on, no?" A soft chuckle erupts from his chest, his hand moving away from your face to rest in the space between your neck and shoulder, almost pulling you in closer.

"You're right again, what a surprise." You smile, flashing your teeth in the slightest as you both mutually lean in, ready to kiss before Fyodor brings his finger up to your lips. "Hm, no, not right at this moment." He grins, pulling away and removing his hands from your neck. You can't help but frown at the lack of affection, this doesn't go unnoticed by the highly observant Fyodor.

"You can get all of that and more from Sigma, dear." He smiles, almost as if he were trying to pull a confession out of you, and boy, was it working. Both of you knew you didn't want that attention from Sigma, not anymore at least. You had seemingly gotten bored after about a year or so. Ofcourse Sigma had his qualities that kept you enthralled for some amount of time, but Fyodor really could offer you all that and a bag of chips. Fyodor was more so your type than Sigma was, and obviously Sigma was beautiful, but Fyodor was resplendent. Sigma was determined, but Fyodor was unwavering, every quality you seemingly loved about Sigma was easily one-upped by Fyodor, and yet you still stayed with Sigma.

You groan a bit. "Fyodor, I don't want the affection from him." You say, caressing his shoulders as he sits, planted in the original chair he had greeted you both from. You softly stroke the fur on Fyodors ushanka as he hums, acknowledging your statement. "Oh, I'm fully aware of that." He mutters. "Why do you think you deserve it? You're quite rude. Leading such a naive man on like that." His grin never fades as he sits cross-legged in the comfortable chair, teasing you with his words.

"You can't talk, you've done worse, and regardless, Sigma may be naive, but he's not emotionally stupid." You say, trying to convince Fyodor to hand you the love and attention that you want from him on a silver platter. He hums, seemingly thinking for a moment. "Mm...maybe later, we'll see." His Russian accent is as present as ever while he speaks.

You nod. "Alright, I guess it'll be worth the wait." You say, playfully rolling your eyes before returning to your chair next to Sigmas. It doesn't take too much longer for Sigma to re-enter the room, reclaiming his spot next to you, the spot that you wish was being occupied by Fyodor. Again, you zoned out, not really caring to listen to whatever it was that they were blabbering about. You found yourself stuck in some demented loop every time Fyodor was in your presence, always ending up almost entranced by him. Bewitched, even, and then going back to Sigma the second he left yet still having him overtake your thoughts and desires. This had to come to an end, and you knew it.

As soon as Fyodor exited the room, you would tell Sigma everything. About how you've simply fallen for Fyodor instead, not intending to break his heart but going unbothered if you did. About how you've been thinking about it for a couple of months now and it was time to end this. It just was not what your heart wanted and had it gone on any longer, it likely would have been detrimental to Sigma. Your heart simply could not beat for him anymore.

You heard them wrap their conversation up, Fyodor standing to shake Sigmas hand, which he hesitantly accepted. They said their goodbyes, and Fyodor grinned at you before he walked out of the office room. Sigma sighed and sat back down for a moment. He looked exasperated, and you knew what you're about to say was only going to make things worse.

"Sigma." You called his name softly, not wanting to disturb him just yet. You gently massage his scalp as he hums in response, leaning his head back into your hands. "I'm not in love with you anymore." You mumble. You can hear his breath hitch and his eyes widening for a moment, his whole body freezing as if someone had hit a pause button on his life. He brings his hand up and pushes yours off of his head, getting up out of his chair. "And you're one hundred percent sure of that?" He asks, his face still having a baffled expression. You nod.

"Alright. Get out." He says, pointing to the door of his office. A part of you wants to apologize, but it would be disingenuous, so you only nod as you head for the doors. Once you shut them behind you, you pick up your speed to a jog and search the hallways for Fyodor. You turn numerous corners before you spot the familiar black fabric of his cape, encouraging you to pick up your pace a little more. "Fyodor!" You call out to him, slowing down when he turns around and grins, indicating your possession of his attention. You walk up to him and start to speak after catching your breath.

"Him and I are over, we're done, I'm not leading him along anymore." You admit, staring deep into Fyodors eyes. "Oh, and how are you so sure I'm not doing the exact same thing to you that you did to him?" Fyodor asks, his hair falling towards one side as he tilts his head, looking you up and down. You roll your eyes a bit. "Are you?" You question the Russian man in front of you.

"No, but what if I was? That would certainly be a crime-fitting punishment scenario, I feel." A small smile is present on his face as he looks at you, taking in every detail of your face, noticing how truly void it was of guilt for your actions. Maybe some pity for Sigma, but nothing more. You smile at his sentence. "Hmm...I don't know, I'd probably be pretty sad." You murmur, placing one hand on his shoulder. "So it's a good thing you're not.

He grins and leans in before whispering softly against your lips. "It absolutely is, someone needs to give you that attention you crave so desperately, right?" He softly says, his grin doesn't fade as your lips connect in a kiss, his hand on your face softly caressing your cheeks. After a moment, you pull away for oxygen.

You nod a bit at his question prior to the kiss. "Yes, and I'm so glad it's gonna be you."༉‧₊˚.

[bbrissonn]

Hi! Request for Kylian Mbappe. Where y/n is out partying with her friends and kylian is left at home. And it’s nearly 2am and y/n is not home yet. Kylian always texting and calling her but she cannot be reach cause her phone died. And when she’s home, kylian is mad and think she’s cheating or something. They fight and make up at the end. Make it fluff and romantic pleaseee thank you 🫶🏻

okay so my dumb self listened to become the warm jet by current joys while writing this and i sorta ended up making this sad... oops under the cut ! warnings: not proofread, slight swearing

"Where the fuck have you been?" Kylian asked harshly as you pushed the front door of your shared apartment open, jumping slightly at the sound of his voice.

"Jeez, Kyky, you scared me." You laughed a bit, placing a hand over your heart as you wobbled over to him, your boyfriend shaking his head in disapproval as he watched you.

"I missed you." You tell him as you try to wrap your arms around his neck, only for him to push them away, making you fur your brows at his reaction.

"I am not gonna asked again, Y/n, where the fuck have you been?" He asked again in a harsh voice, making you even more confused. You had been talking about going out with your friend tonight for at least a week now, he watched you get ready and told you enjoy your night, so why on earth was he asked where you had been. You had told him about a hundred time the bar you and your friends would be going to.

"What's this all about? Kyky, I told you a million times where we going, you knew that I'd be coming home late. I don't understan--"

"It's two in the morning, Y/n. You said you'd be home by midnight."

"So what if I came home a little later than I thought I was going to? Me and the girls, we've barely had time to hangout all of us together, we got carried away and last track of time, okay? You're acting like I've been gone for a month."

"You could've told me you'd be coming home late!" He yelled out like it was the most obvious thing in the world, making you roll your eyes at how he was acting. You walked over to the kitchen, him following closely behind you as took out a water bottle from the fridge.

"My phone died, and I don't know your number by heart so I couldn't use anyone's phone to call you. Look, I am sorry, okay?" You apologized, hoping he would finally drop the subject so the two of you could finally go to bed.

"Who is he?" He asked, making you choke on your water as his words filled your ears.

"What?" You asked confused as you placed the water bottle down on the counter, your eyes staring into Kylian's brown eyes.

"The guy you're cheating on me with, who is he?" He asked rudely, making your eyes grow wide as your jaw fell.

"You think I'm cheating on you? Kylian you are so fucking out of line right now." You exclaimed, a laugh of disbelief leaving your mouth as you walked away from him and into the bedroom, him following behind you once again.

"I am out of line? I am not the one coming home like nothing happened after cheating--"

"I didn't fucking cheat on you, Kylian. Let me charge my phone and then I'll call someone so you can stop acting like a crazy motherfucker. Fuck, you actually think I'd cheat on you?" You spoke calmly, your voice shaking a bit as you questioned him, and it was like something in him clicked. You had finally found time to hangout with all your friends and have a good night, and he ruined it all, the smile that once stood on your face when you walked in gone, now replaced with a frown as your eyes stared at him.

He let out a loud sigh as he slowly sat down on the edge of the bed, his head resting in his head as his elbows leaned on his thighs. Shame taking over his body at the way he had reacted, and the fa t that he thought you'd cheat on him, because he deep down he knew you'd never do this to him.

"No. You care too much about people to ever do something like that." He admitted in a soft voice, his words making you sit down next to him and lean your head against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, his voice so low that you barely heard it, but you did, and that's all the mattered to him. A tear slowly feel from his eyes from the shame he felt, guilt and regret soon being the reason for the other tears to start falling down his cheek.

"I love you, Kylian." You spoke softly, and he could hear just how much his accusation had hurt you, making even more tears fall.

"I know."

"And I'd never, ever even think about cheating on you, love."

"I know." He said in a broken voice as a sob finally left his mouth. You barely ever seen Kylian cry, only when he was injured badly or when the two of you would watch disney movies, and the two of you have had multiple fights before, and he never cried because of those. Those facts made you sure that there was another reason behind those tears, but you weren't going to force the answer out of him, he needed to tell you himself.

"Kyky, what's bothering you?" You whispered softly in his ear as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling his head into your chest as another sob left his body, making your heart ache for him. His arms wrapped around your waist as he cried some more against you, something he had never done before.

"It's just... it's just so hard."

"What is, love?"

"Everything. The press, the fans, everyone and everything they say about me, it's just so hard. I know that I should just ignore it but it's millions of people just talking shit about me on the internet and they don't even know me." He explained slowly through his sobs, making tears well up in your eyes. Kylian was never one to let the media get to him, instead always fighting them back and acting like he didn't care, but clearly with all the rumors that have bee flying around about lately, it was all too much for him.

"Let's go away." You suggested, making him look up at you a little confused as he hiccupped slightly.

"What?"

"One weekend, just me and you, away from everything. We can go anywhere you want, but there's one rule. You delete all your social medias from your phone the moment we leave the apartment." You explained, luckily for you, it was his off-season meaning go away wouldn't be a problem at all.

"Just me and you"?

"Me and you, love." You confirmed, making him shake his head lightly as more tears fell form his eyes as he leaned his forehead against yours.

"Yeah, yeah, I'd like that."

[karikarasuno]

sonder ch. viii

Pairing: Erwin Smith x Fem!Reader x Levi Ackerman

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Warnings/Tags: Lack of Communication, Flirty Behavior, Masturbation, Eavesdropping, Descriptions of Sex, Too Many Feelings

Word Count: 5.6k

song(s) for the chapter: my all by mariah carey

chapter vii | chapter viii | chapter ix

Pandora’s box. That was what Moblit and Hange were currently trying to pry open from you with their bare hands. When you agreed to take a late lunch with Moblit, you hadn’t realized that your chicken caesar wrap would be accompanied with a side of interrogation. All lighthearted and well-intentioned, but you’ve been unsurprisingly irritable lately. Your newly realized feelings for Levi and Erwin left you emotionally drained and physically tense. Not that it was anyone else’s fault but your own. Moblit, though, was not helping the situation. And Hange’s erratic commentary was truly the cherry on top.

“I’m just saying you all seem awfully close,” Moblit said. He was teasing you and it was clear, but you couldn’t help but bristle at his words. 

“Friends fuck sometimes and that’s okay,” Hange added, thoughtful and serious, which made your jaw drop and your food bitter in your mouth. 

“Hange, please,” you said, pushing your half-eaten wrap to the side and taking a sip of your iced hibiscus tea instead. “We’re not,” your lips refused to fix around the word fuck out loud, “sleeping together.”

“So then what are you three doing together all the time?” Moblit asked innocently. The innocence was a mere facade, though, since you knew he was simply trying to fish for information. 

“Hanging out. Y’know, like we are, right now.” 

“Right,” he said unconvinced. “So you expect us all to believe you’re not dating?”

“Yes, exactly that. Because it’s not a belief if it’s a fact,” you bit out, your eyes narrowing at him when he smiled and shrugged.

“So you and Erwin are just hanging out as friends this Saturday?”

“How the hell do you even know about that?!” You whispered loudly, leaning towards him and snatching a potato wedge from his plate as payment for your distress. Levi had asked a favor of you yesterday when he had to take a last minute shift for Saturday since one of his regular patients needed an emergency session. Erwin’s father and his fiancee signed up for a dance lesson for their upcoming wedding and invited Erwin and Levi to join them. But given Levi’s schedule change, he asked you to join them in his place. You said yes (obviously) because you said yes to all of their requests, even if it was at your own emotional expense. 

“Levi told me,” Hange said casually. “He only feels a little bad over it because he hates dancing.”

“Of course he did and of course he does,” you responded grumpily as you slouched back in your seat and looked out the window you were seated beside. “This is just a favor anyway, nothing else.”

“Not a date,” Moblit nodded, as if he was agreeing with you when in actuality he was pressing you further. 

“Do you think my first date with someone would be a double date with his dad and his dad’s fiancee?”

“Sounds romantic enough to me,” he grinned, swiping the uneaten half of your wrap and taking a large bite in retaliation for the wedge you stole. You stared at him for a minute, observing the tiny moments of intimacy he always shared with Hange. The light grazing of his fingers on the back of their neck or the way they always made sure he had enough to drink in his cup. It seemed so easy. Fluid. Envy turned in your gut and it was only worsened by the knowledge of knowing your friends bore witness to your complicated relationship with Levi and Erwin, but knew you couldn’t do anything about it. 

“I don’t see what your point is,” you mumbled, glancing away from them again as Hange took a napkin and cleaned the corner of Moblit’s mouth that had a smear of caesar dressing left there aggressively. You fought a disgusted sneer at the softness between them to not come off as bitter. Which you definitely were.

“My point is, if it sounds like dating and it looks like dating,” he said it slowly as if you were beyond the capability of comprehension. “It’s dating.”

“Well maybe you should break it to your buddies that according to you they have a girlfriend,” you said with an annoyed eye roll. “Because as far as I know I am their neighbor who also happened to turn into a friend.”

“I hope you don’t take this the wrong way,” Hange started, leaning forward with their elbows on the table. “But we’ve known Levi and Erwin for a long time and all we’re trying to say is it’s worth a conversation.”

“What conversation is there to be had?” You whined in exasperation. The memory of your almost kiss with Levi popped into your mind without your consent, the skin of your neck and chest warming up at the thought. That was a conversation that definitely needed to be had, but it had already been weeks since that night and neither of you made a move to bring it up. And with all your dinners together since then another incident like that hadn’t happened again. So, you forced it from your mind and refused to dwell on something that may have meant nothing at all. 

“The one regarding your feelings,” Moblit emphasized.

“What feelings?” You said stubbornly, arms crossing and an agitated huff released from your lips. You were starting to hate how easy it was for Moblit to read you. He had an uncanny ability of seeing straight through you. His intuition was nearly always right, especially when it came to the sticky complication of the emotions you swore you hid quite well. 

“You’re hopeless,” Moblit shook his head, placing your wrap back on your plate with a large chunk missing. Thankfully, they dropped the topic after that. But your mind couldn’t help but toss the concept around in your head for the rest of the day. 

They made it sound so simple. So normal. As if you entering an already established relationship with two men wasn’t odd or complicated. And it wasn’t as if you were any sort of advocate for traditional relationships. It was just something you never considered. A relationship with one man nearly broke you in two. And almost a year later, you were still reeling from the aftermath. It was hard enough grappling with the fact that you were falling in love with two people at the same time. You recognized long ago that you had the capacity for it. Loving people with your whole being was not a foreign concept to you. But extending that love, acting on that love, that you held for Levi and Erwin seemed crazy in a way that you couldn’t imagine. 

If one man had the capability to crack your soul in half so deeply the damage seemed irreparable, you could not fathom giving your heart away to two. Surely, the loss of their friendship alone would leave you raw and exposed. It would reverse all the work you had done this far. And you were afraid of the person you would become if you faced another loss like that. You felt jaded and cynical enough. If you handed your heart over to them, only for it to be returned in pieces seemed like a fruitless endeavor. Stupid, even. 

So you kept it exactly where it was. In the center of your chest with a stitched crack down the middle. 

“Erwin, we’re going to be late,” you called for him from his doorway. He was adamant on finding his black t-shirt, which you didn’t realize was even a remotely big deal. But, apparently it was and you had to be at the dance studio by 5pm. Currently, it was 4:36pm and it was a 20 minute drive. 

“Just a second! I found it,” he yelled back excitedly and you couldn’t hold back your loud sigh because you really did hate being late to things like this. It always made you anxious. Another minute passed as you began to tap your heeled foot against the concrete step outside his door because you were convinced that if you stepped inside he wouldn’t feel your obvious sense of urgency. 

“Erwin!” You shouted again, pulling your phone out of your purse to double check the time. 

“I’m coming,” he rounded the corner breathlessly, black shirt fitted around his torso with a zip up slung over his shoulder since it was still chilly outside this early in the new spring season. 

“You looked fine before,” you complained, grabbing his forearm and tugging him outside when he was close enough. “I don’t know why you needed to change.”

He locked the door behind himself, bounding down the steps to meet you at the gate. His hand found the small of your back then as he guided the two of you to his car, “I wanted to match.”

He grinned down at you with pleasant sincerity. As if matching with you was a necessity to this particular outing, and if he didn’t he would’ve ruined the entire thing. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope,” he smiled again and opened the door for you. “What’s the point in going to a couples dance class if we don’t match?”

Your jaw ticked at the word couple, your muscles spasming in your lower back when his hand disappeared and left you cold and tense. He was excited, but you could sense his nervous energy the moment you were in the car and driving towards your destination. This wouldn’t be his first time meeting his father’s fiancee, but it was still evident that he struggled with the idea of his dad getting remarried. And in typical Erwin fashion he played everything off as if it didn’t truly bother him. But knowing him for almost a year now, you could sense the tiny cracks in his facade. The fractures in his usually ebullient personality were starting to become more and more apparent. You wanted him to feel comfortable in your presence. And at present his nerves were crackling off of him like sparklers in the hands of a child on new year’s eve.

“Are you nervous?” You asked, eyes tracking a couple on the sidewalk beside the car as they walked their dog. 

“About?” His tone was hesitant, like he could sense you calling him out on his anxious energy. But instead of confronting him like Levi probably would have, you allowed his feign on indifference to steer your conversation. 

“Stepping on my toes,” you said with a teasing smile at him. He stopped at a red light, turning to grin at you–teeth white and smile blinding. 

“Oh sweetheart,” he replied in playful condescension, “I’m a terrific dancer.”

“We’ll have to see about that,” you responded snidely, expression unconvinced as you turned to look at him just as the light turned green. He released a loud laugh, his hand moving from the gear shift and hovering above your knee for a second. You were curious as to what he was about to do, your thigh tensing involuntarily before his hand landed on your knee and he squeezed. Your breath was held tightly in your chest, your cheeks growing warmer (a constant, uncontrollable reaction you were becoming increasingly more irritated by), and when his hand didn’t move for the rest of the drive every attempt you made at relaxing only made the discomfort fester more beneath your skin. 

The studio was small and on the second floor of a renovated townhome with a cute bookstore on the first floor. On one side of the room were floor to ceiling windows with a perfect view of the park that was just across the street. The lights were golden and dimmed to create an intimate and private atmosphere. Before you entered the studio, your short heels clicking satisfyingly against the glossed wooden floor panels, Erwin’s phone rang and he stepped back out, leaving you to greet the instructors alone. 

They were an older couple with thick accents that you could only attribute to an eastern European country, but you weren’t sure which one. 

“Hello, pretty,” the woman greeted you first, leaning over to press her cheek against yours. She was beaming at you, her eyes sparkling with excitement and you couldn’t stop the sheepish smile from stretching your lips in response. Her husband, you assumed, extended his hand to you in a warm handshake. 

You heard Erwin finally walk in behind you again, tugging on your purse to slip his phone inside before he said, “Looks like it’s just you and me. That was my dad and he said he can’t make it.”

“Is everything ok?” You said with a note of worry, but also the itchy feeling of anxiety stirred in your chest because this truly was a date now. Whether you wanted to admit that or not. 

“Yeah, he’s okay. I refused to ask what he was up to considering the fact that he was out of breath.” He shivered at the thought, and you laughed at the grossed out look on his face. 

“I don’t blame you,” you said, stepping aside so the instructors could introduce themselves. You had to suppress an eye roll when Erwin kissed the older woman on the cheek and she pulled away blushing. Someone had to be immune to his charms and it was unfortunate that it wasn’t you.  

“You two make such a beautiful couple,” the lady said warmly as she led Erwin further into the room and you saw his face light up in the mirror that was parallel to you. 

“Oh, we’re n-”you started, but was swiftly interrupted by Erwin’s appreciative, “thank you.”

Maybe it was easier to indulge rather than explain in a roundabout way to strangers that you weren’t actually together. And that he actually had a boyfriend. Both of which you spend an alarming amount of time with. 

“If it sounds like dating and it looks like dating. It’s dating.”

Moblit’s words clanged around your skull like a ping pong ball gone rogue. The sharp sounds rang in your ears and you were dumbly frozen in place until Erwin turned towards you with an outstretched hand and a teasing, “are we gonna dance or are you too worried about stepping on my toes?”

Embarrassingly enough, you did step on Erwin’s toes. Not because you lacked the coordination or balance or rhythm, but because you were stiff as a board. He was impossibly close to you. One hand on the small of your back applied enough pressure to keep your bodies pressed together while his other hand held onto yours securely. It was a simple waltz, but you couldn’t concentrate on anything besides the way his firm body felt pressed up against the softness of yours. 

Finally, when you were awarded a short break as the instructors went over to choose another song, you all but pushed Erwin off of you so that you could inhale a breath that wasn’t stained with the smell of his cologne. He was smiling as if he was thoroughly enjoying himself. And looking at you as if he was privy to some sort of damning information about you. 

“You need to loosen up,” he said while stepping back into your space, his hands swiftly finding your shoulders and massaging the very present tension there. You sighed, the knot that settled near your neck forever ago being worked out by his attentive and strong fingers. “You know Levi can massage this out for you,” he added when he felt the obvious discomfort in your shoulders. 

“I’m not gonna bother him with that,” you shrugged Erwin off as you said it, inhaling another steadying breath. 

“It wouldn’t be a bother,” he chuckled, “we have a massage table in the guest room for a reason.”

You had never stepped foot in their guest room so that came as a surprise. “I’ll think about it,” you said, waving off the suggestion because downright refusing would only trigger his more persistent side. 

“Ok! Back to positions,” the woman called out, hands clapping together giddily. You recognized the song immediately. The first sounds of My All by Mariah Carey delicately filled the room and your spine tensed once again. You stopped yourself from groaning because out of all the songs this one had all the romantic yearning you could possibly imagine. And with Erwin’s hands on you again and your chest firmly secured against his, you had to close your eyes to steady the racing of your heart that you were sure he could feel pounding against his rib cage. 

“Relax,” he leaned over and whispered in your ear, his lips dangerously close to touching the shell of your ear as he squeezed your hand in an attempt to be reassuring. “Stop concentrating and let me lead you.”

You allowed your forehead to fall to his chest and swallowed down the apprehension that wasn’t allowing you to just enjoy the moment. Regardless of what Moblit said or how you felt for Erwin or Levi, you shouldn’t ruin the fragments of familiarity and intimacy offered by them. Whether it was their strange way of extending friendship or something much more complicated, you took it. You let Erwin lead you in a waltz. You relaxed your shoulders and when you took one last breath and looked up at him he was staring down at you with affection. Maybe tonight you would pretend– just as he had when you stepped in the room– that you really were a couple. That tonight instead of going home to a bed alone, you would feel the safety of two bodies beside you. In an ideal world it would be that simple. 

But reality had a sick way of reminding you that nothing was ever that simple. But a girl could dream. 

“Oh my god, look!” You said as you made your way to the car. There was a flower beginning to bloom right beside a tree. And even though snow hadn’t fallen in weeks, the dreadful chill persisted. And while the sun set hours later, spring had yet to reveal herself to you. 

Erwin stopped suddenly beside you, his arm bumping into your back from the abruptness of it. You were pointing excitedly at the flower. It was a tiny little thing with white petals. Nothing worth noting, really, but the stranger of hope began to introduce herself to you again. It was odd how something so seemingly insignificant made your heart grow in your chest. 

“Oh would you look at that,” he said, following the line of your finger with his eyes, “Levi’s gonna be happy about this. He’s been grumbling about his plants for the last month.”

“It’s how he relieves his stress,” you teased, smiling at the memory of Levi fussing over his herbs that sat in the kitchen window and cursing winter for overstaying its welcome. 

You heard Erwin scoff out a laugh beside you while unlocking the car as you approached. “I, personally, could think of far better ways to relieve stress,” he said as he reached around your shoulder to open the passenger side door for you. There was far more suggestion in his tone than you appreciated. And with how close his voice was to your ear again, you couldn’t suppress the shiver that went straight down your spine and scattered frenetically across your skin. 

The initiation of temptation had to be purposeful on his end. The lingering touches and over-indulgent words couldn’t be a coincidence and you were beginning to wonder if this was some game or if all three of you were treading across a tightrope that got thinner and thinner the further you balanced across. Someone was bound to fall first. And you were afraid it just might be you since you were barely hanging on as it was. 

But the fear of breaking after such a long fall was what kept your core tight and your body forcing your feet to remain unsteady on the rope. You were starting to believe, though, that neither Erwin nor Levi had those same priorities. Especially when, as you were stepping into the vehicle, Erwin leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss to the side of your head. It was so unexpected that it gave you pause, your foot braced on the floor of the car as you whipped your head to face him. He was smirking at you expectantly, eagerly awaiting your reaction like he was trying to bait you into something. 

And in your disheveled state most of the words you knew seemed to escape you. Yet, the only thing you could manage was a petulant, “leave that man and his hobbies alone. Don’t be nasty.”

His grin grew wildly into something wicked. Your stomach flipped and desire swirled around dangerously low in your gut. He nudged you into a seated position, your head bumping against the head rest before he grabbed the seatbelt and clicked it into place for you. When his face was merely a few inches from yours, his breath casting puffs of air across your lips, you were taken back to the evening on your couch with Levi. And you wondered if he knew what almost happened that night. But as much as you wanted to look up into his eyes for some sort of confirmation, they refused to stray from his lips. 

“Fine,” you saw his lips shift around the word seductively, “but just know my idea of stress relief is much more fun.”

He pushed himself off the center console, ducking out of your door and then shutting it behind him. You were startled in a way you couldn’t really describe. Desire flowed through your veins like fear. Lust drove through your heart like anxiety. And it was the most conflicting set of emotions you have ever had the displeasure of feeling. Because now he wasn’t even being secretive about it. 

And for the first time since befriending the neighborly couple, you were beginning to feel like you may be in over your head. 

“Ok,” you started as you strode into Moblit’s office at 8:06 am, exactly two minutes after you saw him enter the office. He barely had his things set down before you shut his door and closed the blind to the small window he had that overlooked the cubicles. 

“What’s with the secrecy?” He said, a bit concerned, but mostly amused. He was still shrugging off his coat when you started to pace. Which you knew wasn’t the best look, but after your evening with Erwin and then stealthily avoiding them for the rest of the weekend to protect your sanity after what you overheard after he dropped you off at your door. You knew you weren’t crazy regardless of how you absolutely, positively felt crazy. 

Erwin wouldn’t intentionally fuck his boyfriend loud enough for you to hear through the wall that separated your living room from their bedroom. He couldn’t possibly know you were even laying on your couch that night because you were too lazy to get up and drag your ass to bed because strangely enough the arches of your feet were sore from dancing in heels for an hour and a half. It had to be another coincidence. But you knew the mood Erwin was already in when you left the studio. He had reckless energy coursing through him the entire drive home. Even when you stopped to grab takeout on the way home, he still possessed that crackly, staticky spirit that had you shifting in your seat expectantly. 

So, you could confidently assume that he was horny. Especially with the way he carried himself with a sense of emboldened carelessness. He kissed you again on your doorstep, this time on your cheek and narrowly missing your lips so much so he might as well have kissed them. So, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when you were startled awake from a sleep you hadn’t realized you fell under to a thud. It was muffled and distant sounding. You knew it couldn’t have come from inside your apartment so you decided to ignore it and chalk it up to the sounds of the city. But then, as sleep threatened to pull you under again, you heard a groan and a creak. Realization flooded over you like a bucket of cold water. Goosebumps rose on your skin in recognition of what was occurring on the other side of the wall and a fierce blush blossomed on your cheeks. Your whole body rising in temperature and that strange feeling returned to your gut. 

The heels of your palms pressed into your eyes and you knew you should probably gather yourself and head to your bed. But when you heard another moan, this one longer and needier than the last, you struggled to come up with a good enough argument to actually get up. One that based itself on something other than this probably being morally wrong. Eavesdropping on your friends while they were clearly getting hot and heavy was not an appropriate way to end your evening, but the weight of your touch deprivation was burying you into the cushions beneath you. You couldn’t even remember the last time you touched yourself. With the chronic stress and anxiety that exhausted your body it was difficult to conjure up the energy to even get yourself off. 

But this, this fervent desire that had rooted itself in your bones hours ago due to Erwin’s blatant teasing, was nearly suffocating you. Maybe you shouldn’t have allowed your hand to trail down your abdomen, smoothing over your sleepshirt and slipping hesitantly between your thighs. And you shouldn’t have matched the pace of your fingertips rubbing greedy circles against your clit with the way their headboard thumped against the wall. You muffled your own moans with the back of your free hand, merely mimicking what you knew to be Levi’s voice groaning alongside what you could only assume was Erwin fucking him. 

Your imagination, as vivid as it was, was running away from you. The idea of Erwin and Levi together in any position you could pull from your own memory was sending a hurried flush over your skin. Lips on heated skin, hands kneading at reddened flesh, it was too much. You already knew how pretty Levi looked with rose-tinted cheeks and wine-stained lips, and you could nearly feel Erwin’s strong body cradling yours. Being held by him without the layers of thin clothing separating your sweat-dampened skin. It was surprising how close you were to finishing with only a few sticky strokes to your clit. The pent up sexual frustration evidently brought to its boiling point. 

All you could hear, all that was replaying in your mind as you came over your own fingers was Levi whining out Erwin’s name in desperation. The sound of his release was obvious when Erwin could only respond with a “yes, Levi” and the pace of the headboard hitting the wall quickened for a few seconds before everything went silent. 

You lied there in astonishment and shame. Your fingers wet with your own release and your body slightly sweaty from unexpected exertion. How were you going to face them again after that? When all you would be able to hear when they spoke to you was the gruffness of their moans and the noises they made as they came?

It would surely haunt your every conversation and interaction from now until forever. 

“Are you gonna talk or would you prefer to burn a hole into the rug with your incessant pacing?”

Moblit’s voice startled you straight out of your memory. Your orientation returned to you once you remembered you were in Moblit’s office on the verge of a nervous breakdown instead of post-orgasm and spiraling out on your own couch after listening to your best friends have sex. When you met Moblit’s gaze, his amusement diminished in favor of true concern. Maybe you also looked just as crazy as you felt. 

“I’m in big trouble,” you said, arms crossing and eyes averting to look out onto his view of the lake that was miles away but still visible through the spaces between the high rises. 

“Legal? Do you owe someone money?” He said, hands leaning onto his desk and it should’ve sounded like a joke but he was being utterly serious.��

“I don’t want to know why that was where your mind immediately went. Quite frankly, it scares me,” you said, expression a mixture of confusion and astoundment. “But no, I don’t owe anyone money. I just maybe haven’t been completely forthcoming about my current situation with Levi and Erwin.”

“You totally fucked, didn’t you?” He smirked at you like he knew it all along. Like you couldn’t possibly keep anything from him without him finding out in some way. Which should’ve agitated you more than it did, but you were too wrapped up in your mess to scold him over it.

“No!” You said louder than you intended, so you lowered your voice when you added, “we didn’t fuck. At this point, I think that would be the simpler situation.”

“I have a feeling you’re being a little dramatic,” he said softly, again acting as if having a threesome with your two closest friends who were in a years long relationship didn’t have the potential to ruin things to an atomic degree. 

“Ugh,” you sighed, deciding to sit down in one of the chairs in front of his desk. “A couple of weeks ago Levi and I almost kissed, and up until my date on Saturday with Erwin I was under the impression that he didn’t know about that given the fact that Levi and I have pretended it never happened. We were also high so I kinda thought he didn’t remember it.”

“So it was a date,” Moblit grinned, leaning back comfortably in his office chair as he looked directly at you. 

“Can you believe that his dad canceled on us at the last minute?” You complained, throwing your hands up in exasperation. “So, yes it very much felt like a fucking date. And it really messed with my head, especially because Erwin was being so…”

You allowed the sentence to hang there, not sure how to really describe Erwin’s behavior towards you that night. He was treating you like it was the early stages of a relationship. The unmistakable air of a date, the touching, the closeness. It was all so real and unplatonic-like. You groaned into your hands while your body fell deeper into the seat. 

“What do I do?” You emphasized whinily, peering at Moblit’s smug face between the cracks in your fingers. 

“Did Erwin make a move on you?” He asked simply, and you scrunched your face up in thought because the answer in your mind was yes, but the lines were blurry and you couldn’t see them clearly enough to come up with a straight answer. 

“I mean, how would you define ‘making a move’?” You thought back to the kisses he left on your temple and cheek, which he has done before. And the way his hands never strayed far from your body, whether it was your waist or the small of your back or even when he rested it on your knee on the drive there. You thought of his reassuring words and how he put your seatbelt on for you once you left the dance lesson. Those all felt like moves, but they also all felt like Erwin. 

And Erwin was handsy and clingy. 

“You know exactly how I would define it,” he replied dumbly and you fought the eye roll that always followed you whenever you spoke with Moblit. You loved him, but weren’t always too fond of him calling you out on your bullshit. 

“Fine, then yes, he was very,” you made weird grabby hands at Moblit, who frowned and tilted his head but seemed to understand what you were trying to convey. 

“Did he kiss you?”

“Not exactly.”

“Not exactly?”

“He kissed me like right here,” you pointed to the corner of your mouth and refused to make eye contact with him. You felt so juvenile and ridiculous. This was so much harder than having a teenage crush. So much worse too. 

And it was made even worse when you heard Moblit stifle a laugh. When you glared at him, he couldn’t suppress the cackle where it was currently lodged in his throat and slipped out in one absurd sound. 

“You’re so annoying,” you grumbled as you rose to your feet, fully intent on trudging back to your office and hiding out there for the rest of the day. 

“Wait,” he called after you, and you stubbornly turned around to face him again. “I’m gonna suggest something a little crazy… talk to them.”

“Why can’t you just let me be difficult?” You had to stop yourself from stomping one of your feet on the ground petulantly. 

“Because this isn’t as difficult as you’re making it, I promise.”

You heard the earnestness in his voice. He truly believed that this thing between you, Levi, and Erwin would work out. And you weren’t sure if he was delusional or if you were oblivious. But the ache in your chest only ever subsided when you were with them. The feelings you harbored could be one-sided but as each day ended and another began that didn’t seem like the case. Fear gripped you, though, tightly around the neck, squeezing your vocal cords together and refusing you to utter a word about your love for them. Your very real, awful, tragic, beautiful love for them. 

“What if I ruin it again?” You said barely above a whisper. You wanted to shrink into yourself. Nothing but raw insecurity ripped through you. “I can’t do that to myself again.”

[bellaxgiornata]

Falling For the Devil [Part seventy-two: "The Belated Valentine's"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: Matt surprises you with a date night out to make up for the two of you spending Valentine's Day broken up.

Or You learn Matt tried to subtly have a date with you two years ago.

[Series of one-shots about Reader meeting, falling for, and dating Matt Murdock.]

Warnings: 18+ for this series; contains humor, fluff, romance, angst, smut (like...a lot of it later in the series), language, some violence

Word Count: 3.8k

a/n: A sweet, fluffy installment that features a flashback to pre-relationship with Reader in Matt's naughty POV. You can find the entire list of installments for this series on tumblr here.

You were staring at the contents of your fridge after having just arrived back home from work about ten minutes ago. It was looking quite sparse considering tonight was a Friday night and you hadn’t gotten groceries in a few days. Frowning, you realized there wasn’t much worth making for dinner. 

You sighed and shut the fridge door. It appeared you’d be ordering takeout for you and Matt tonight. He’d called you on your lunch break earlier and sounded incredibly eager to spend the evening with you. Apparently he hadn’t been intending to go out as Daredevil tonight. ‘I just want to spend my night with you, sweetheart,’ he’d told you earlier in that charming tone of his. 

And for some reason his enthusiasm to see you tonight had left you nervous. 

Unfortunately you had absolutely nothing in your fridge to make for dinner. Maybe he’d be feeling takeout, though you knew he usually preferred when you cooked. He often said the food tasted better since you intentionally tried to cook with his heightened senses in mind.

Three knocks came from your apartment door and you turned quickly in surprise towards the sound. You hadn’t been expecting Matt to show up so soon, usually he spent a bit longer at the office on Friday nights lately. He was often trying to finish things up so he wouldn’t have to deal with work over the weekend since the firm had gotten quite busy recently. 

Confused, you crossed your apartment and made your way over to the door. You unlocked the deadbolt and the lock before pulling it open to reveal Matt’s smiling face. Your eyes quickly dropped down, noticing the large vase of peonies in his hands–it certainly didn’t look cheap. Immediately your brows furrowed as you stepped aside and invited him in.

“Uh, did I forget that today was something important?” you asked nervously, mentally trying to recall the date as you closed the door behind him.

“No,” Matt said, the smile never wavering. “You didn’t.”

He held out the vase towards you and your eyes once again dropped down towards it, studying it carefully. It was big. And absolutely stunning.

“What are these for?” you asked him slowly.

“You,” he answered. “They’re for you, sweetheart. Happy belated Valentine’s Day. Since I ruined our first one.”

You shot him a pointed look. “Matt,” you scolded. “I thought we’d been over all of that.”

“We have been,” he agreed, nodding. “But I did mess it up. And I hate that you spent that evening the way you did. Getting drunk at a bar because of me.” He grimaced, continuing on before you could say anything. “So I’m trying to make it up to you now. Can I take you to dinner tonight?”

Your jaw dropped as you stood there staring silently back at him. Blinking a few times, you found yourself unsure how to react. Was he really being this goddamn romantic right now? You were not remotely prepared for that tonight.

“Sweetheart?” he asked, tone a little nervous. “I mean I know it’s not anything extravagant–I actually initially had something else planned for you for Valentine’s Day,” he admitted. As if realizing he'd said that aloud, he quickly added, “Though I think I might save that for…something else.”

“Something else?” you asked curiously, eyes narrowing.

“Oh, well,” he said, suddenly fumbling and bashful behind the vase of flowers. “I mean, it’s–it’s uh…maybe a good idea to keep in my back pocket. You know, in case I mess things up again. With you.” He cleared his throat a couple of times before he shot you a strained smile. “Just–just forget I mentioned that. Not important.”

You stared at him in silence for a long moment with one brow raised, wondering what he could have been planning initially. And then you began wondering why he seemed so nervous at the mention of it–Matt Murdock was generally not nervous. When he held out the vase of flowers even further to you, that timid expression still on his face, you figured you’d let it go. You supposed you’d eventually figure it out.

“Thank you, Matt,” you said, accepting the vase from him. “I love peonies.”

He visibly relaxed before you as you turned, heading to the kitchen to place the vase onto the counter. They smelled wonderful and you briefly wondered how they smelled to him.

“I know. I remembered,” he said. 

Turning back around, you took in the sight of him in his dark dress slacks clinging to his thick thighs and his suit coat with a white button up shirt and red tie under it. He looked handsome, as he always did, but certainly dressed nicer than you felt in your dress slacks and blouse. Frowning, you stared down at your outfit.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I’m uh, not exactly dressed for a date,” you admitted. “I didn’t know you were wanting to go out tonight.”

“Well,” Matt said, shooting you a bright smile, “I intentionally left the choice up to you for tonight. I have reservations somewhere really nice, or I know there was that Vietnamese restaurant that just opened nearby that you had mentioned sounded interesting. So it’s your choice. And you certainly have time to change if you’re wanting to, but honestly, I think you look great.”

You rolled your eyes, grinning at Matt. “Ha ha, Matt,” you said.

He winked back at you and you felt your cheeks heat up. Why did he have to be so smooth?

“Let me just change really quickly and then we can go,” you told him.

“Whatever you want, sweetheart,” he replied, shooting that charming smile your way again.

_______

Chewing the bite of rice noodle and pickled vegetables, you sat across from Matt in the new restaurant you had been dying to try. He was eating his own noodle dish and lightly tapping his foot up against yours under the table. He’d been more flirtatious tonight than usual you’d noticed. On your walk over to the restaurant he had often pulled you towards him by your enjoined hands and kissed you–whether it was your mouth or your forehead didn’t seem to matter. He’d remained holding your hand across the table while you both had waited for your food to arrive, and when you’d inevitably needed to let go of his hand to eat, you had occasionally felt him bumping his foot against yours like he was doing yet again. You didn’t quite understand the increase in affection this evening, but you certainly weren’t complaining. Even if it was somehow making you nervous like this was your first date all over again. 

“You know,” Matt began, “I did pick this day for a reason to make up for Valentine’s.”

Lowering your chopsticks, you eyed Matt suspiciously. “And what was the reason?” you asked him curiously. 

“We met just a little over two years ago,” he told you. 

That fond, sweet expression he’d so often given you just before Marci and Foggy’s wedding day was currently on his face. Your pulse quickened as your head tilted to the side, trying to recall when it was you both had met. 

“Wasn’t that technically towards the end of March?” you pointed out. “This is April, Matt.”

“Yes,” he agreed, nodding. “It is. And it was this day, two years ago, that I actually subtly– sort of –tried to set up a date with you.”

Both of your brows shot high up onto your forehead. “You did not!” you exclaimed. “I’d have remembered if you’d asked me on a date, Matt.”

“I said subtly set up a date, sweetheart,” he corrected, his own food currently forgotten. 

Setting down your chopsticks, you sat further back in your chair and focused fully on Matt. “What the hell does that mean?” you asked. “How was I unaware of this?”

He chuckled, the corners of his eyes creasing as he continued to gaze fondly back at you. “You remember that day I asked for help to go over those papers? For that court case you’d been helping us with? The papers that you couldn’t get printed in braille in time?”

Your eyes narrowed as your attention dropped down to the table while you tried to recall the memory. “You mean the night I came over and you ordered pizza?” you asked, glancing back up at him. 

Matt nodded quickly, resting his elbows onto the table as he leaned forward towards you. “Yes, that night. It was two years ago today,” he answered.

_______

"Hey," Matt greeted you with a smile as he opened his apartment door. "Glad you found your way here alright."

Little did you know he had already been aware of the moment you'd entered the elevator in his building, Matt having picked up on your familiar, unsteady heartbeat a bit ago. You were nervous. He figured you would be because he knew you always were around him. 

"Uh, hey, Matt," you muttered awkwardly, shifting your bag on your shoulder. "I uh, I brought the files with me."

"Oh, I already brought them with me from the office, but thank you," he said. "Why don't you come in?" 

He stepped aside, making room for you to pass by him. As you did, he felt the warmth of your body radiating over his skin as you stepped inside–your body temperature was significantly more elevated than normal. He wasn't entirely sure what to make of that, and he also wasn't entirely sure what to make of the way his eyes momentarily closed when he caught the scent of that peach shampoo you used. 

Hell, you smelled so damn good all the time, whether it was your shampoo or your natural scent or–fuck–the smell of your pheromones . What he wouldn't give to bury his nose into your hair or burrow his face into the crook of your neck where he could enjoy the feel of your trembling pulse as he inhaled the scent of you. 

And oh, he certainly had thought about the scent of your arousal–some nights the memory of it had kept him awake. Whether it was the way you’d smelled at Josie’s or any of the number of times he’d seen you around the office since then, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. His nostrils flared even now as he caught the faintest taste of it in the air. His left hand clenched into a fist as he shot you a tense smile before he led you down the entryway hall and towards his couch. 

Fuck, he wanted you. He wanted to bury his face between your thighs, often wondering what they would feel like clamped around his face. He certainly had tried to imagine the taste of you on his tongue. He'd wondered what you'd sound like lying on your back on his bed moaning his name ever since your friend had made that comment at Josie’s. He'd often tried to envision it, remembering how it sounded when you'd said his name in conversation. He especially liked when you called him Matthew–what would that sound like as a breathy pant from your lips while he kissed your neck?

But no, he couldn't think of that right now. You weren't his even if he hoped for it someday. And if he focused too much on his attraction towards you, he’d certainly have another, more visible, problem on his hands. 

Matt had led you over to his couch and the two of you began going over the files. He’d handed you the little stack from off of his coffee table, his fingers intentionally brushing against yours. Your heart rate spiked and his head tilted to the side, zeroing in on the sound. Was it just attraction causing the spike or was there more to it? He often found himself wondering the answer to that question. What was your body telling him? Why was it so confusing and exhilarating for him to listen to?

He’d asked you repeated questions about the files as the night wore on, enjoying the melodic sound of your voice as you read from the papers and answered his questions. He’d been hoping to delay your stay until he had deemed it long enough to suggest ordering a pizza. And he’d noticed the way heat flared in your cheeks yet again when he had. 

Why were you so nervous around him? Was it actually because of him–did you want him just as much as he wanted you? Or was that just you? You did seem like a very anxious individual even when you were with Foggy, Karen, and Marci. Maybe he was getting his hopes up for your nerves to mean something more.

Were you only physically attracted to him and that was it? Because of course he’d thought about just grabbing you and drawing you in for a kiss, often wondering just how your lips would feel on his and how you would taste on his tongue. And sure, he’d had many moments tonight where he’d wanted to just pick you up from his couch and carry you to his bedroom, curious to know how it would feel to have you clinging to him as he did. He’d wondered how fast your heart would beat when he tossed you onto his bed and buried his cock into you over and over. He imagined you would moan out only the most beautiful of sounds–sounds he didn’t think he could even imagine. 

But Matt didn’t want just one night with you. He didn’t even want a string of nights with you. He just wanted you. And he desperately wanted to be wanted by you in return.

While you’d both been waiting for the pizza to arrive, Matt had occasionally had to ask you more questions repeatedly to keep up the ruse that he’d needed help with these files–which was a setup because he’d had Foggy go over them with him at the office earlier today. And while you’d been waiting for him to type up some notes on his laptop, he’d caught you staring at him. Each time he would turn to shoot you a smile, your eyes darted away quickly as your cheeks further flushed and sweat dampened your palms. 

The scent of your arousal increased at one point when you weren’t even looking at him and it had begun to drive Matt absolutely wild despite the calm exterior he was trying to portray to you. What the hell was turning you on so much? Him? Your proximity to him?

…were you thinking inappropriate thoughts about him right now as you sat beside him?

He felt his cock twitch in his dress pants and he grit his teeth. No. He’d have to focus on something else.

But fuck, how had you not realized he liked you? How had you not picked up on how this was so obviously not him needing help with work? Were you just being polite and ignoring his flirtatious comments because you weren’t interested? Or did you just really not see what this was?

If only he could just make a move on you. If only he could just flat out say something to you, tell you that he liked you. Ask you if you liked him. But with the way your heart was pounding in your chest beside him, he was afraid the question would result in you running away from him, and he was more terrified of that outcome.

He didn’t want to lose you.

Was he just stuck in the friend zone with you? Too terrified to say anything and scare you away, but the subtle flirtations not remotely getting him anywhere?

Fuck.

_______

You shook your head. “That wasn’t a date though,” you told him. “We were going over files for a case because I couldn’t get them printed in braille in time. And Foggy and Karen weren’t available to help you.”

“I asked them to say they were busy,” Matt admitted, a little smirk forming on his mouth. “That day we were at the office. I asked them to say they couldn’t help in the hope that you would offer to come over and help me instead. And you did.”

Your mouth fell open as you gaped at Matt. You remembered that night. Remembered how nervous you were going to his apartment alone, something you hadn’t really done since that night in the year that followed until you’d actually been dating him. You had been so nervous to be alone in his space with him, your hands occasionally bumping against each other’s while you worked on those files with him. You also remembered how distracted you’d been by his lips, the thought of him just leaning over and kissing you with that perfect mouth of his having crossed your mind repeatedly as you both sat on his couch.

“Oh my God,” you breathed out. “You didn’t actually need my help, did you?”

“Nope,” he answered, grinning mischievously at you. “I’d already gone over everything earlier with Fog. But I pretended to be confused so that I could get you to stay long enough to have an excuse to order pizza.” He shrugged a shoulder innocently. “And then that was an excuse to have a beer with you and forget about the files altogether.”

“Matthew Murdock, you sly, scheming man!” you teased. “That didn’t work out so well for you though, did it?”

He laughed lightly, shaking his head yet again. “No, it didn’t,” he agreed. “Because you didn’t remotely seem to catch on.”

“How was I supposed to know you were asking me over on a ‘subtle date’?” you defended. “That’s not even a thing!”

Matt pulled a face across the table from you. “Oh it most certainly is a thing,” he countered. 

“No it’s not!” you disagreed. “Because you either ask someone on a date or you don’t!”

“In my defense,” Matt explained, “I thought it was pretty obvious when we’d been sitting on the couch eating pizza and drinking beers and not even remotely discussing the files anymore. I had been hoping maybe if we just spent some time together, just the two of us, where we were initially focused on something else, then maybe that might help you finally relax a little around me. But you were still quite the nervous and confusing individual. ”

“Well your plan to calm me down certainly backfired,” you told him. “Because I spent the entire time nervous and staring at your mouth wishing you’d kiss me.”

“So that’s what was going on!” he exclaimed, settling back into his chair as he grinned at you. “Your body was somehow more worked up than usual that night and I couldn’t quite figure out why. And I knew I noticed your attraction to me. Because you were quite distracted. Often taking a moment to realize I’d even said something before you answered me.”

Nervously shifting in your seat, you averted your gaze. “Yup,” you admitted awkwardly. “That was just me desperately wishing you’d take me into your bedroom because you’d uh, left your bedroom door open and I remember staring at your bed a few times…”

Matt leaned forward on the table towards you so fast that you jumped in your seat. His expression had darkened a little at your confession, a devilish smirk on his mouth. Your pulse increased just at the sight of him across from you. And then you felt his hand on your knee under the table and your breath hitched.

“And what were you hoping I’d do to you in my bedroom that night, sweetheart?” he asked.

“ Matt ,” you whispered harshly, your head turning to take in the sight of the people at nearby tables eating, “we’re not alone, you know.”

“No one’s paying attention,” he replied. “What were you thinking about that night?”

Ducking your head, you swallowed hard. You took a deep breath, your eyes focused on your bowl of noodles before you as your fingers tapped against your chopsticks.

“I…was wondering what it would be like to kiss you,” you admitted quietly. “What it would feel like to have your hands undress me.” Nervously you gnawed at your bottom lip, your gaze still averted from Matt even though you could feel the weight of him staring back at you. “Mostly though I was…wondering what it would feel like to hear you say you actually liked me. That was uh, what I really wanted.”

When Matt didn’t immediately respond, your eyes flew back up towards him. His expression had shifted from something hungry to something far softer. His lip was ever so faintly curling up at the corner, his brows gradually drawing together.

“That’s what you wanted the most that night?” he asked gently.

“I mean yeah,” you admitted sheepishly, shrugging a shoulder. “Sure, sex would have been great–especially knowing how great it actually is now. But what I wanted was just for you to like me. You’re this incredibly charismatic and charming man–who is ungodly attractive. And I had this absolutely asinine crush on you that had been forming for the few weeks before,” you rambled on. “And you’re so goddamn smart and funny. There was absolutely no way I’d have realized you were trying to subtly turn whatever that night was into a date, Matt. Because I’d never have believed you’d ever be interested in me. But yeah,” you finished lamely, “I just wanted to hear you say you liked me, too.”

Matt sat in his chair across from you entirely silent. There was a look on his face that you couldn’t possibly decipher as he focused on you from across the table. A very slow smile was making its way across his lips, something warm and loving reflecting at you in his eyes.

“Well sweetheart,” he began softly, “I can certainly sit here and tell you that I’ve absolutely fallen in love with you. Does that work?”

Your own lips curled up into a smile as Matt slid a hand across the table towards you. Reaching your hand over, you slipped it into his and felt him wrap his fingers around it. 

“Yeah, Matty,” you answered. “It definitely does. And I love you, too.”

“Good,” he said, squeezing your hand. “And for the record,” he continued, that soft expression switching back to what had previously resided on his face, “I can certainly remind you what it feels like for me to undress you after dinner. Your place or mine, sweetheart,” he purred. “You pick.”

Goosebumps rose along your arms at his words, a shudder running down your spine. God he knew exactly how to work you up in seconds. His hand on your knee gently squeezed as he raised a curious brow.

“What do you say, sweetheart?” he whispered. “You interested?”

Tongue slipping out between your lips, your eyes lingered on that hungry look on his face. It was truly unfair how attractive he was because it made it difficult for you in moments like this to refrain from shoving the table out from between the two of you and jumping him in the middle of the restaurant. Sensing your train of thoughts, Matt’s lips quirked up in an amused smirk.

“I would be very interested,” you answered him.

[spiderplanter]

First Date 𐦍༘⋆

Summary- Though it was your first date with Matthew, the chemistry felt electric when you first laid your eyes on him. The rest is history.

Content- Matthew, Reader, fluff, SFW, tickle fic. *keep scrolling if this isn’t your vibe* MDNI⛧

You had been texting Matthew for the last few months, some FaceTime and regular calls here and there. He finally built up the courage to ask you out, without hesitation you said yes.

You wanted everything to be perfect. What am I going to wear, how will I fix my hair, what are we going to do?

All of these questions flowing through your mind simultaneously.

Text Message 5:26pm:

Matthew 🂻

Hello darling, although our destination for tonight is top secret, your finest dining attire shall suffice. Also pack an extra pair of pajamas! -M

You immediately start getting ready and finish touching up your hair and makeup right as he pulls into your driveway. Right before he could knock you swing the door open, scared to make eye contact. For a split second you glance at the ground in fear that he’d be disgusted by the sight of you.

Wow y/n, you absolutely take my breath away. How did I manage to be the luckiest guy on this planet? He said dropping his jaw to the floor and looking you up and down.(respectfully)

Thank you Matthew, might I say you’re very dashing. You reply as you tuck his hair behind his ear and resting your palm on this jaw.

A few seconds pass by just staring into each other’s eyes and appreciating this sweet moment. Blush painting both of your cheeks as question how you could’ve waited so long to finally meet.

How about we get this evening started?

Let’s.

The drive was about thirty minutes. Plenty of time to show off your eerily similar music tastes. Pulling into the parking lot you noticed Matthew had taken you to the fancy new Italian restaurant you’d been going on and on about but reservations were booked for a solid three months.

As you were guided to the table by your host, you took in the stunning private balcony with low warm lighting and an ocean side view. Rose petals scattered across the table and sitting in the center was a bottle of your favorite white wine. Matthew’s attention to small detail kept you swooning over him. How could this man be any more perfect? After the food is ordered you and Matthew start talking about each-others interests and goals.

What are your favorite ways to give and or receive affection? You ask.

Well for starters I like romantic gestures, if you couldn’t tell, haha. Acts of kindness is another, let’s see.. gift giving, affirmations and most importantly, physical touch. I’m a big cuddler. I also like tickling, giving and receiving. Sounds crazy, I know but I just love how it brings people closer together. It’s rather a comfort for me, I hope that’s not too weird.

Not at all, I find that quiet adorable actually. You say giving him a quick poke to the side making Matthew jump back in surprise. As you finish your food and sign the check, you both head back to his car.

Quick question, why did you tell me to pack some pajamas?

I was planning to take you back to my place where I have a movie night set up with all kinds of snacks and the comfiest couch you’ll ever rest on, that of course if it’s okay with you.

What are we waiting for, let’s go!

Walking into his house felt like an alternate reality. Immediately to your left was a big open room with a fluffy green sectional couch, a big screen projector along with two massive book cases racked with hundreds of movies to choose from. The room lit up by purple and pink LED lights and neon signs with a popcorn machine next to a fully stocked snack bar.

As you drop your bag by the door you run over to pick out a movie. My Girl, one of your all time favorite movies. This was the one. You put the DVD into the player and plop down on the couch right next to Matthew. He puts his arm around your shoulders as you scoot closer and lay your head on his collar bone.

Halfway through the movie you subconsciously started fidgeting with Matthew’s shirt and didn’t realize until he started twitching a bit.

Do you need to readjust?

N-no it’s just that you were kind of tickling me and I couldn’t help but move a little.. he replied, a little flustered. You mean like this? You blurted out before you used both hands to attack his sides and ribs.

WAIHAIHAIT NOOOHOHO he screamed throwing his head back, taking it like a champ.

A few minutes passed before you decided to mercifully stop, allowing Matthew to catch his breath. You ran to the kitchen to grab him a glass of water. Admiring at how unreal it felt to be so happy and safe in this moment you walk back to the home theatre.

Thank you.

Why are you thanking me?

Well one for the water and two for being open about me liking tickling. Not only did you not judge me for it, but you decided to act on it in a fun way and it was a refreshing experience.

I’m sorry if anyone ever made you feel insecure about such an innocent thing. I love hearing that adorable laugh and seeing the way your nose crinkles when you’re trying to hold it in.

Feeling bold, you pull him in for a kiss. Starting with one on the lips and then one on either of his cheeks. Making your way up to his forehead and down to his jaw and around his neck. Matthew started to giggle so you started to make your pecks sporadic, but only for a second.

Standing up from the couch you tell him to lay down and get comfortable to finish the movie. You lay down in front of him as his arms wrap around your chest as you melt into him as he pulls you in. You turn your head to halfway look at him.

You know I wouldn’t mind getting tickled either..

Hmm.. interesting he replied seemingly intrigued.

When the movie was officially over, you unanimously decided to explore each others likes and dislikes. You didn’t know how such a simple thing as tickling would be a significant part of falling in love with this man but then again you weren’t going to ask questions because you’re perfectly happy right where you are.

[riansdiary]

My BRIDGERTON S3 E1 Reaction/Annotation 🎉

My dearest gentle readers,

It is finally time to start off my new series of posts for my written reaction to Bridgerton Season 3! We are doing the first episode on this one! I wanna thank all the amazing members of the ton who have liked my post about this letting me know that you'd like to see this. I will include screenshots if it is extremely necessary! This is not the first time I'm watching, this is my second but I'll still share thoughts I had from my first watch! My favorite characters are Eloise and Benedict! Yes, my favorite Bridgerton siblings! Penelope would be the third probably! I also have a special place in my heart for Lady Danbury and Kate! I love them. Philippa is also super adorable to me especially when she said her iconic line. Now, Varley! The bugs!

That is all, shall we start? Warning: There will be spoilers.

---------------------------------------------------

I love that they do this every year! It's like someone was giving birth inside the room but it's just really one of the sisters getting their makeup done and putting on their beautiful gowns!

This is my face when Kathony appeared: 🥹

Would you look at her dress? It is just so beautifully done! I love Kate's looks even more this season and I'm so happy that Anthony is being himself and is so cute with her! How is it that they didn't know that it was Frannie playing the pianoforte downstairs? Even Kate knew. Now, do you know what I'm really curious about? How did our girl escape from that room? Everyone is literally outside of that room. How did she get to the drawing room from there? Nevermind, I think she said that she woke up early.

I love Hannah Dodd! I actually recognized her as soon as I saw her. I thought that she looked familiar at first and then it clicked to me that she was in Enola Holmes 2! One of my favorite movies! She was the missing girl. Her character was Cicely or Sarah Chapman. She was amazing there so I knew she would do Francesca justice!

Aw, Pen staring at Eloise as they walked out of Aubrey Hall was heartbreaking to me. Not my favorite besties in the show not getting along anymore! They both made a mistake and I really hoped that they could resolve it.

Here's my honest opinion on Colin's F-boy era: I know his glow up was great and every girl is out to get him but he didn't need to be such a RAKE about it! I want our sweet romantic boy back!

Let's look at our boy's glow up though! I am very proud of him. Look at our boy! If only he used that to be more honorable and acted like a prince more instead of turning into a rake. Come on, where's our sweet Colin from S1 and S2? I just really miss him not trying to fit in and just being his sweet self.

Nice Colin! I love his hair better now. We love the curls! He did look cute before but I gasped and my jaw dropped when I saw him first in this specific scene! I was like: Wow! He looks so good! Penelope will fall even more for him.

I love that he calls Eloise "El" it's so cute! I myself have a nickname for her but let's be honest, Colin's nickname for her is way better. It's "Lou" or "Loulou" cause she's Eloise. There's that "Lou" sound when you say her name even if the u is not there but you know what, Colin's is way cuter. I'm gonna call her "El" instead.

Ah, the intro always hits. It just calms me down when I hear the opening theme!

I love Anthony's line when the brothers were in the carriage! "Who are you? What have you done with our brother?" My second favorite Anthony line after "Lilies, Forget-me-not, Lilacs!" 😆

Gregory was so adorable when he was imitating Colin! "Mm. I should like some... proportion." That was so funny for me. I loved Anthony and Benedict's reaction to that! Love how they both leaned to the left when they smiled at Gregory! One of my favorite Bridgerton brothers moments for sure!

The mom and the daughter speaking to each other with sign language! I loved that they added that!

Let me say one thing about Mama Featherington. What I like about her is that she always does her best to take care of her daughters. Maybe not in emotional ways but rather in the financial way. Love that about her. The thing that I disliked about her is how she treats Penelope. She teaches Pen to dumb herself down so men can tell her things. While that is a good strategy, it is not entirely true. I think Lord Debling would have wanted Pen to just be herself and talk intellectually with her. I didn't like the way she treats Pen at all. She underestimates her own daughter. Dare I say, she doesn't even know her daughter.

Oh Portia, you are so so clueless. That is literally Pen to a T except she has more money.

Cressida, Cressida, Cressida. I hate it every time she comes to bully Penelope or ruin her dress like she does almost every time. I do love her gigantic sleeves 🤣

I never wanted Mama Bridgerton to move so thank God Kate doesn't want her to move either! Also, look at her entire outfit and hair! Slayed! So gorgeous!

One of my favorite moments appears after that which is the moment Lady Danbury called them Lady Bridgerton and they both answered! I found that so heartwarming to be honest.

Great, every debutante is in love with Colin. He is the charm machine this season. Just be yourself sweetie!

When Cressida's mom said: "Or does common thievery run in the family?"

I would've immediately said: "Does bullying run in yours?" 😎

Portia is the one who has been dressing or at least choosing Penelope's gowns and you don't know how relieved I was when Pen said that she doesn't want to see a single citrus color on her new dress. She's finally using Whistledown money for her own good. Yes girl!

I love how Anthony is letting Gregory play with the bow and arrow but not where their mother can see it! Benedict and Hyacinth coming along with them was so cute!

Colin's timing when his mother wondered if they will ever be on time was fantastic! And the fact that it's a watch gift too! 💡

I cannot say enough about how much I love Francesca's gowns! They're so pretty and the hair! I wanna do that with my hair too! It just gives me Belle from the Beauty and the Beast vibes! So elegant! Emma Watson, my role model of all time was a great Belle but I think Hannah Dodd also looks like Belle especially with the hairstyle they gave her which is almost exactly the same hairstyle that Belle often has!

Eloise reading Emma! Okay, personally I haven't read but as my favorite YouTuber Darling Desi loves Emma, I know for a fact that it is an amazing book! Please watch her if you wanna relax or if you are a book lover too! She has a lot of aesthetic and lovely seasonal, cottagecore and other types of videos!

Colin questioning Eloise about why she's befriending Cressida. Our boy is at least there for Penelope when it comes to El and when it counts! She said that no one showed her kindness but Penelope does.

I cried. It was so hard and heart-wrenching to watch Eloise and Penelope's first scene together at the modiste. It's the first scene where Penelope finally approached her. Not my favorite best friends!

This necklace on Nicola was so beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes off it!

Okay, I know there are people who are siding with both. There are some who said a lot of bad things about my Eloise. That it's her fault and that she's a horrible friend but let's get into the bottom of this. I want to share my point and this is it. What's a character without a flaw? Someone who's too perfect, could be boring and seemingly less human. Penelope and Eloise both made mistakes and it's true.

Penelope could have told her earlier that she's Lady Whistledown. Eloise is her best friend and I feel like she would be fine with it. She didn't really hate Whistledown and I'm sure she would have been ecstatic if Pen confessed to her earlier. Yes, Penelope only wrote about Eloise to save her but she still dragged her family to filth. I know she had no other way to protect her but it still did something to their reputation. It was revealed in part two that it was true, that Eloise was a little jealous of Penelope's success and her being Lady Whistledown. That kind of added fuel to the fire. Pen did write about Colin and Eloise both as Lady Whistledown and that did a lot of damage to their reputation as a family. People tend to forget that Eloise couldn't continue to be friends with Theo because Pen wrote about it. They were so cute and she was starting to feel something for him. Both of them.

I am kind of hoping that we get a different kind of love for Eloise if it's possible for her to be with Theo instead of Crane. It would be quite interesting to see someone from nobility fall in love with a normal person. I would love to see that and that would be so much more dramatic and romantic. Rich girl, poor boy trope anyone? Yeah, I did adore Theo a lot, he's so cute with her!!! ❤️

Eloise wasn't always mean to her during their feud. When Cressida ripped Pen's dress, she looked so apologetic and almost teary-eyed. What I wanted to say is that they both hurt each other and I hope this will make them grow.

The Mondrich couple are one of my favorite side stories. They might not be nobility or royal before but damn, they dress so well! Just look at them! I love that pink gown 😍 and it matches with his outfit!

I love Newton so much! One of our puppies is part corgi so she kind of looks like Newton! So cute!

Me when Penelope said "I should like to try something a little different tonight.": 😱🫢👍

Yes queen, enough of the citrus colors (not that they're bad cause I saw the Featherington fam in S2 wearing gold and I was like 😍) that your mamma always dresses you in! Penelope hair and gown glow up! Ahhh! Her entrance scene with the new look is one of my favorite moments! Everyone was astounded by her beauty and we all know it especially you Colin! A lady with red hair in green dresses is just a match made in heaven! It just works! Nicola or Penelope's smile when she walks down the stairs and notices that everyone is looking at her was so beautiful!

Cressida Cowper and her iconic always gigantic sleeves!

Oh Colin "down bad" Bridgerton stopping to stare at Pen! I think he doesn't know he had feelings for her or is it because of the fact that he is roleplaying as his brothers? I heard somewhere that Colin is trying to put on a mask, be a rake and act like his brothers because he's trying so hard to fit in. He just always has seen Pen as a friend and doesn't recognize how he feels about her.

Pen was so nervous when she was talking to the men who approached her and yet she's so confident and charming as Whistledown. I guess we can say they never talked to her as much before so this is the first time. I hate that they left her early because they don't want Whistledown to write about them with Pen ugh! They don't wanna be written that they're with her but remember they were the ones who loved her look and approached her? Oh my God, fight me! 😠

Eloise staring at Penelope: 👀

Me: "I'm sure you're proud of her. Maybe secretly but just go talk to her!" 😆

The Penelope and Francesca moment was so wholesome and I loved that they had each other.

Every time Cressida Cowper ruins Penelope's gowns I'm like: 😤😡🤬

The guy who said this to Colin: "Miss Featherington, why concern yourself with her?" I don't like him. I don't like any of Colin's new friends, they are insufferable! How rude! Why concern himself with her? Well are you dumb? They're friends hello?

"I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington" was the worst thing that came out of Colin's mouth. Lies, lies and more lies!

Portia is so smart when it comes to saving her girls! I love that about her!

They were so smart about how they covered Claudia Jessie's injury! I did enjoy the Eloise and Cressida's promenade scene where she's scolding her about what she did to Penelope's dress! Eloise still does care about Pen. We're seeing a bit of Cressida's good side there. Loved that. I think she thinks Pen is a threat even though she doesn't wanna say it. She has been bullying her for a long time and trying to ruin her chances with men. She feels threatened by her. She could easily snatch the attention of the men without doing that to Pen. She wouldn't do that if she thinks that Pen doesn't have a chance.

Love that Kate convinces Anthony to let Violet stay! The Bridgerton drawing room is literally my favorite room or place in the show. The blue is just so calming and the place is so cozy.

Colin apologizing to Pen was sweet but she got friendzoned yet again! Oh Colin. Pen's wearing green again! It's so perfect with her red hair I tell you! He's finally appreciating Pen. Thank God.

The Mondrich family are now members of the ton? Yes! They deserve it!

Me when Eloise is reading the new Whistledown issue about Colin: "No no no no no, I feel a storm coming on! A storm of drama. She's not going to like that. Neither will he. Yikes, Pen."

Colin: What are you reading?

Eloise: Nothing.

Colin: 🙂‍↔️🤨

Eloise: 😐

This was so funny to watch even though the situation was, you know, dire. I loved that they could talk just with their eyes and face expressions! Something that reminds me of me and my own siblings!

Penelope calling out Colin's act! Yes!

Colin: I will never forgive her

Me: They're setting it up, oh no. Here we go. He's not gonna like it when he finds out it's her

He literally said "I will make sure it is her life that is ruined." Oh my God! Pen, what now!

---------------------------------------------------

And that is it, everyone! I hope you enjoyed my first one! My reaction to the first episode of Bridgerton! This was fun to do! If you noticed that I'm suddenly talking in Bridgerton style, it's because it's easy for me to pick up accents and ways of speaking! I had so much fun with this! See you on the next one! 💋

[rpf-bat]

❝  i know i can’t protect you from everything,  but i wish you’d let me protect you from the things i can control.  ❞ Joel/Tommi pls 🖤

Joel should’ve known something was up, when Tommi asked him to visit Oulu.

Joel had agreed, of course. Now that the tour was over with, he had fuck-all to do at home in Helsinki, and he was bored out of his skull. So, why not visit his friend?

It’s not like I’m traveling six hundred kilometers just for a guy, he’d told himself, during the long train ride. My parents also live in Oulu. I can visit them while I’m in town, too.

But, when he’d arrived at the train station, Tommi had been standing there, holding a bouquet of flowers.

He had awkwardly shoved the flowers into Joel’s hands. He hadn’t explained what they were for. He’d just grunted, “get in the car.”

….And so now Joel was in Tommi’s car.

“This isn’t the road to your place,” Joel noticed. He and Tommi had been friends since high school, so of course he knew the route extremely well.

“We’re not going to my place yet,” Tommi said vaguely, not taking his eyes off the road.

“Uh….where are we going, then?” Joel asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Dinner,” Tommi grunted.

“Oh…at the pub near our old practice studio?” Joel guessed.

“Nope,” Tommi shook his head, still refusing to look at Joel. “Istanbul.”

“That Turkish restaurant?” Joel blinked. “Dude, a steak there is like 45 euros. Why the fuck would we eat there?”

“We sold a lot of merch while we were on tour,” Tommi shrugged. “And I’ve been doing extra work at the hospital. We can afford it.”

“You’re acting like it’s a special occasion,” Joel said suspiciously. He sniffed the air, suddenly aware of a strange scent. “Tommi, are you wearing cologne?”

“….Maybe,” Tommi confessed. “Does it smell bad?”

“No,” Joel shook his head. “You smell…amazing, actually.”

Tommi smiled, for the first time since Joel had arrived.

People who didn’t know the drummer as well as Joel did, often called him grumpy. But when he did smile…oh, god. It lit up a room.

“Tommi,” Joel said softly, realization making his heart ache. “Why am I actually here?”

Tommi was quiet for a moment, as he parked the car outside the restaurant.

“I wanted to tell you after we got inside,” the bear-like man sighed. “I wanted to tell you after a nice dinner. But, you know me too well, Joel. My feelings might not have been obvious to most people. But lately….I’m sure it’s been obvious to you. I brought you here, because I wanted to tell you how I feel. The truth is, I lo….”

“Don’t say it,” Joel interrupted, putting a finger to Tommi’s lips. “Please don’t say it.”

Goddamnit. Tommi’s lips felt so soft, against his fingertip. He couldn’t help but imagine, how they would feel against his mouth.

Tommi’s eyes narrowed. He grabbed Joel’s wrist, and pushed his hand away from his face.

“Why aren’t you letting me talk?” he asked, looking hurt.

“You’re right,” Joel confessed. “I saw how you were looking at me, during this last tour. It’s not the way the rest of the guys look at me.”

“So, you already know how I feel?” Tommi realized, eyes wide. “Then, why won’t you let me say it out loud? I wanted to set a romantic scene. Make the perfect confession of…”

“Tommi, stop,” Joel interrupted again. “You don’t want to do this.”

“What do you mean, I don’t want to do it?” Tommi growled. “Joel…I’ve been wanting to say this to you, since I was sixteen years old.”

Joel’s jaw dropped. “You’ve…felt this way about me, for that long?”

“Of course I have,” Tommi said, sounding choked up. “Joel, I’ve always l…”

“Don’t you dare say it,” Joel stopped him again.

“Why? Because you don’t want to have to tell me to my face, that you’ll never feel the same way about me?”

“Tommi, no!” Joel cried. It was taking everything in his power, not to give into the impulse, to pull the larger man into his arms. “That’s not it at all.”

“Then, what is it?!” Tommi cried. “Why won’t you let me say the words, when you already know the truth?”

“Because you’ll regret it,” Joel said, his voice thick with tears. “Tommi, if I let you be with me, I would ruin your life. I’m a mess. I’m anxious and depressed all the time. I can never focus on anything important, because of my ADHD. I self medicate with alcohol and weed even though I know that’s not healthy for me. And…”

“And you think I don’t know all of those things already?” Tommi asked him, looking him in the eye. “Joel, we’ve been friends for a decade. You think your problems are news to me?”

“Then….why do you still want me?” Joel sobbed. “There’s no reason why you should. Can’t you see I’m trying to protect you?”

“Protect me?” Tommi repeated, incredulous. “From what?”

“From the unhappy life I know you would have, if I let you be mine!” Joel cried. “I know I can’t protect you from everything,  but I wish you’d let me protect you from the things I can control.”

“You can’t control how I feel,” Tommi insisted. “Joel, I love you. Even if you think you don’t deserve it.”

He pulled Joel into the tightest bear hug he could muster, and even when Joel tried to squirm away, he held him fast. Tommi’s shirt quickly became wet with Joel’s tears.

Joel’s voice was so muffled by the fabric, that Tommi almost missed those critical four words: “I love you too.”

[make-a-little-mischief]

FILM ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT!

My Poysunal Favorite Shots of Jerry

Part Six

The Nutty Professor

*Edited by me with finishing touches and enhancements by @lovejl12

So this is going to double as a "Crazy Chemistry" post (been a hot minute since my first one). There's more to say about these shots than just Jerry lookin good, though that is still true.

This is the precise moment when I first watched the movie (after the initial shock of the reveal settled) that my stomach plummeted out my bum because I realized this was the same person I had overheard screaming and guffawing like a parrot with a sinus infection and I'd had the firm opinion that I could never ever be into him or watch his movies because I can't deal with that level of insanity...

Little did I know, it was not the sounds or the high energy that I would not be able to handle - it was the incomprehensible levels of sexiness.

When I tell you my jaw dropped and my eyes bugged out seeing him as Buddy Love...THAT'S Jerry Lewis??!! Holy crap...and it still blows my mind every time I watch the movie, the impact of characterization and performance - the effortless, minimal, and astoundingly distinct transformation from Professor Kelp that makes it genuinely feel like two separate people...and Buddy being closer to actual Jerry while still feeling like another individual into himself - it's mind boggling. Jerry Lewis is not only a gorgeous man but a great actor.

Speaking of moments that get me every time...

This part, where Buddy comes through Julius during a class lecture makes me squirm in the best way. I have an actual physical reaction to it that I can only describe as my body and mind going into a state of brief shock and awe. Hearing Buddy's tone of voice coming out of Julius' face is so jarring and so brilliant; as you start the scene you don't see it coming and you feel like Stella, just along for another classroom scene. Then the voice changes and you react exactly as she does - wtf was that?? It's perfectly played to put the audience in Stella's shoes and react along with her (especially if you're watching for the first time).

Also, hearing Jerry talking normally or as Buddy when he's dressed as Julius is one of my most favoritest things ever it just tickles me so much.

Also, the dad joke that Buddy makes about carbon dioxide has always been a gas is chefs kiss fantastic comedy. Love it. Would say something like that myself. Much appreciated.

And finally, I wanted to highlight this part during Buddy's song to Stella at the dance. I love the genuine, pure happiness on his face as he sings and keeps looking down at her. In the previous photo it was about Buddy coming through Julius and in this one it's Julius coming through Buddy to do something "really important" (essentially propose to Stella). After all of the outrageous bravado and peacocking, Buddy is finally fully human and vulnerable enough to express his love and appreciation to the woman he admires. He's just happy; he looks like a giddy school boy who's high on the energy of his crush. This is the first time the whole movie where Buddy is being honest in a way that's sweet and tender; he's letting the "inner man" out and by the look on his face, he's enjoying it. I just love how different Buddy is during this song compared to the others (more symbolism to talk about in another post). He's charming in a way that is truly romantic and pure of intent. Just from his smiles and his playfulness as he sings, we can see how much Julius has also had an affect on him - and how this experiment has combined the best of both men into one.

With all of that said, I view it as symbolic that the formula wears off when he tries to do "Old Black Magic". It's like Buddy tries to revert to his old ways but at this point there's no turning back. He (and Julius) are at the point of "If we're together forever, I've got a world that, you've got a world that, we've got a world that swings". Committed, joyful, walking on air, true love. He sang what needed to be sung, just for who it needed to be sung for. I think the intimacy of Buddy's song here - singing to Stella like she's the only one in the room - and it being a proud declaration- singing to her this time in bright exposed lighting and as a mature suitor who loves his woman and doesn't care who knows it - is a fantastic mirror to the "Old Black Magic" scene, shows great character growth and is pretty darn cute.

I have a lot more to say, but I'll leave it there for now. Once I start talking about anything in Nutty I start to compose a full on thesis. That darn Jerry and his brilliance are like too much.

[popstr]

THE HEAT IN HIS CHEEKS IS SUCH THAT SIMEON SWEARS HE CAN FEEL IT PERMEATING THE SHEET MASK ON HIS FACE, WARMING IT AS THEY SPEAK. suddenly it feels a bit humid, which isn't helped by the fact that he also feels short of breath, as though something had caught in his chest and pulled, along with the pesky fluttering in the pit of his stomach that seems to have become a habit of his subconscious whenever his curator is around. although aaron's answering laugh is in no way unexpected, it earns him a prim huff - which is quickly extinguished when sim is pushed up against the nearest wall and loses the rest of his breath entirely. in an instant, they are face to face and simeon's mind has gone blank, every word on his lips evaporating into thin air with it. despite all efforts to the contrary, he can feel his eyes go wide and his back press further against the wall as he half relaxes against it, allowing his head to tilt backward to meet it - which coincidentally provides him a perfect eye line to aaron's face as he lingers above him. he attempts to reach into the depths of his brain, to find some clever retort to the claim of cute, but it feels as impossible as digging through four feet of fresh powdered snow.

" silk, it's ... " he clears his throat and his tone drops a little, " yes, it's silk. " he's caught the craving in those green eyes, the way the other man looks like he might want to devour him whole, and sim tries to ignore the shiver it sends down the path of his spine, the warmth that pools in his stomach. it's obscene, he thinks, for aaron to look at him that way in his current state of ridiculous, in his robe ( short, as has been said ) with his curls wild over the crescent of his headband and a sheet mask obscuring his features. it's obscene - and never has he felt more desired. " it's ... almost to my knees, it's not that - " the sentence trails off as he feels aaron toying with the hem of it, familiar fingers brushing against his exposed thigh in the process. his knee tilts toward the touch, brushing the side of his lover's in the process, the movement of his leg parting the bottom of the robe ever slightly to match the opening of it at his chest.

it occurs to him, for a brief moment, that this might kill him. it occurs to him at precisely the same time that he might not care.

" the notice or the robe? " he manages, unable to sound anything but a little breathless, despite his reliable ability to make a joke even in the most inappropriate of moments. you're acting childish, a voice deep within him scolds, like some teenager with their first crush. hadn't you outgrown this? yet in the haze of them, he can't find it in himself to move, to lean into logic, to grasp at his senses the way he always managed to when confronted with romantic notions, at least for over a decade now. those senses flee at the touch of aaron's fingers at his hem, at the brush of his lips against his thumb. his fingers brush distractedly against the sharp line of aaron's jaw as though he can't help himself. " and you haven't even seen the place yet. just - " the word me dies on his tongue, but it hangs in the air as if it's been said, as if simeon isn't too busy staring at his unexpected visitor's mouth.

his mind turns the words over and over, but he cannot make sense of them, as if they were spoken in some language he doesn't know. the question of what he's actually doing here lingers relentlessly with the unquestionable knowledge that that it certainly cannot be only for him. yet, somehow, his gut insists otherwise, a notion he assumes must be an absurd sort of idealistic hope, entirely out of character when it comes to matters of the heart. the mask has begun to feel sticky on his face, uncomfortably so, especially given the flush that's now spread to his ears, and after a moment, he pulls it from his face with his free hand and tosses it to the side on the floor with a mumbled " fuck it " before grasping aaron around the waist with his arm and pulling him in rather abruptly. the taste of aaron's mouth pulls an immediate groan from him that turns nearly to a whimper as he softens, letting his lips part further, sliding an exploratory tongue over aaron's own. even as they kiss, he can feel some of the remaining residue from his discarded face mask transferring to his lover's cheeks and chin, although it hardly seems to deter either of them, at least not until sim pulls back an inch, panting, more flushed than before, the headband askew and his hair wilder than ever.

" couldn't wait, huh? good. " he gasps, barely realizing that his robe has slipped off of one of his shoulders in the mess of his sudden impulse. his gaze flickers over aaron's face, and for another moment, he is again lost for words before he manages to flutter his eyelashes, shake his head once, and bring himself back to at least a fraction of his senses. " are you ... in town for business? or just for - " but his tongue ties, again, over the word me, despite how obvious it is, despite the way his eyes go wide and soft, nearly imploring. " anyway, I lied. you can have tea. even though you laughed. if you promise to kiss me like that again. "

FUCK - he hears it even through the heavy door. it is hardly the first time he finds himself wondering if this was a good idea. he's questioned his actions while he was packing, on the way to the airport, on the plane ( 10 hours in a too small seat on the only available flight out on a monday morning ) and during the check in and quick shower at the hotel. THE LIST OF REASONS WHY THIS IS A HORRIBLE IDEA STRETCHES FROM THE VERY DOORSTEP OF THE APARTMENT ALL THE WAY BACK TO ITALY. there'd be the fact that simeon sommerfeld's billboard was smiling down at him from the billboard at the baggage reclaim area, all brilliant blue eyes and bright teeth. like the universe itself wanted to remind him that hey, he's not in your league, kid . if it was just that, though? just the stardom and the probability of aaron being a mere distraction for a man with a busy and thrilling life, he'd not second guess himself for a minute. he wouldn't care, would gladly fall upon that sword with his arms spread. a risk he'd take blindfolded and with feet bound, to be chewed up and spat out by a man who makes him feel a rush he's not experienced before. no, if the potential heartbreak of aaron swanson - what a mouthful - would be the biggest risk here he would've followed him not even an hour after simeon's plane from italy departed. but the forces at play here go beyond big hollywood paychecks and cameras snapping pictures of your every move. there's also the fact that every aspect of his life is dangerous to a degree where he's putting not just his own physical well-being at risk, but his and his loved ones' very lives. AND HE DOES NOT HAVE MANY OF THOSE ( loved ones, that is ). another reason why new york is a bad idea. puts the city on the literal map of people who are out to hurt him. which is, according to his own calculations, at least a decent hand full of influential, powerful and dangerous men he stole various items and intel of immense worth from. and this city - he has not set foot in it ever. not once - this godforsaken city is home to now two people he doesn't want to see hurt. and like anyone stupid and lost in their own feelings would do, he foolishly laid a scent for the dogs to follow. and he knows he will regret that ... ( [ 22:20 ] HOLD ON be thre in sec!!! ) ... eventually

it stretches like a small eternity, though it is just minutes before the door opens. aaron leaning with his shoulder against the wall and a small paper bag in hand - nothing spectacular but a few treats for good measure. a flower that he stole because a whole bouquet felt tacky - and he's prepared to be met with an irritated pretty face. even an upset one. he's played it all out in his head, has imagined simeon shoving him, has imagined simeon tackling him to the ground to kiss him ( perhaps his favorite ), has imagined simeon not opening the door at all and, worst of all, has imagined someone else opening it instead, possibly punching aaron in the face in the process. but the doorway is empty and aaron pushes himself away from the door with a frown. one of those smart-home situations, everything functioning via app. the assumption he goes by when taking his first step until he hears him and his heart stumbles in his chest. STUBBORN AND DESPERATE and just that bit shaky - a voice he's heard over the phone when he talks himself into a fit about his encounter with luca ( aaron always prays he can not hear the smile that, without fail, appears on his face every single time ) ... before he can make sense of the words, simeon provides context himself and aaron, who, to his credit, never made any promises, can do absolutely nothing to stop the sincere, joyous laugh that escapes him almost instantly. short and quickly controlled but he sees a flicker in simeon's gaze.

if simeon reads it as mockery, he couldn't be further off. seeing the pop star like that - robe, hair band, face mask, the blush of his cheeks visible even through the thin sheet, sends a pang to aaron's heart that nearly makes him stumble backwards a bit. a look so utterly comfortable, gentle, vulnerable that the man struggles not to immediately crush him against his chest. but it's the goddamn thumb that will be his undoing. he knows he'll do it before he's even moved his arm and yet watching it feels akin to watching a car crash in slow motion - only said car is his very self restraint going up in flames. it's a fraction of a second before he has the boy pinned to his hallway wall. not rough, but not exactly too gentle either and it doesn't help his control that the robe he's wearing slips open just that little bit more at the sudden force. there's no more laughing but there's a grin on his face now that hides none of his obvious delight.

" HI - i'm not here for tea, simeon. you look so infuriatingly cute like that. " not even a hint of a joke in his voice. the only thing preventing him from kissing the man is the fact that he assumes the face mask is expensive. ten minutes are nothing compared to the weeks he spent buying and cancelling tickets to come and see him. ten minutes ... he can wait. but he isn't moving either. caging the smaller man with his body, looking down at him with a raw hunger that unnerves even him a bit. " is that silk? it's really pretty. it's short. " he had a speech prepared. of sorts, at least. about how he missed him and how he wanted to explore his city after simeon let him show him florence. about how he barely stopped thinking about the man ever since he left. he had a whole little speech ready, flower and everything, but the bag with the treats stands forgotten in the open door and he can not move away from the pop star, can not tear his gaze from the hairband that looks puffy and soft, can not stop his fingers from playing with the hem of the robe and he's forgotten all about his speech. his free hand grabs for simeon's wrist, pulls his hand towards his own mouth to kiss at his thumb just once, briefly. " sorry for the short notice - i was planning on telling you tonight and coming over tomorrow but i couldn't ... fuck, simeon, it's really short - " he only glances down briefly, can not linger or he'll forget all about those ten minutes. " i wanted to see you tonight. nice- uhm, god, really nice place. "

[rayslittlekitten]

Emeralds & Pearls

A/N: So it took me a bajillion years to finally finish this. I had this specific idea and so the fic started strong and than I don't know what happened. I've been a huge struggle writing smut lately which is why you've been seeing a lot of angst and fluff. This didn't quite really pan out the way I wanted but it's finished. Hope you enjoy. Thank you @lovebarefootblonde for beta reading!

RATING: E (18+ONLY)

Word Count: ~3k

Pairing: Raymond Smith x Wife F!reader

Plot: You kickstart your romantic anniversary night with a necklace.

Contains: unprotected sex (P in V), oral sex (F receiving), fingering, spanking, pussy slapping, crotch-sniffing, light choking, body/partner worshipping?, pantyhose tearing (I think that is all)

Your husband is always lavishing you with jewelry, exquisite dresses and shoes, French lingerie, fur coats and when he can, fine dining, but you’re a woman with simple needs and tastes. All you really want is to be able to enjoy your marriage, but it’s hard when he’s more committed to Mickey Pearson. You know that a lot of him feels guilty for missing out on spending time with you due to the nature of his demanding job so he tries to make up for it by showering you with gifts, but you also know a part of him enjoys seeing you wearing some of those said gifts. You've seen the way he's looked at you when you put them on for him, but there is one thing that drives him particularly feral.

It's your wedding anniversary and you're getting ready to celebrate it while waiting for Raymond. You're sitting in front of the vanity, putting final touches on your face when you hear him coming through the front door. Your perfectly lined eyes dart over at the clock while cleaning up the edges of your bright red lips. It's a surprise he's actually home on time.

"Hi, my love!"

You hear him coming up the stairs and rushing past the bedroom straight to his office, as usual, to drop off the work he brought home.

You quickly scan your face in front of the mirror before standing up from your vanity chair. The thin heels of your six-inch Jimmy Choos hit the hardwood floor with each step you take towards the door. The sound of your steps echo as you take your time to walk down the hall towards Raymond's office.

"Are you ready, my love?" Raymond checks his watch. "I don't think we have too much time left. Our reservations are in forty-five minutes and we need to go across town. You know how the M25 gets around this time."

When you step into his office, Raymond quickly glances up at you for a moment and goes back to what he was doing, but then does a double take. He pauses his task and stares at you expressionless as you slowly put one foot in front of the other. His eyes travel from your cat-lined eyes, to your bright red pout, and then to the pearl necklace he bought you for your anniversary last year sitting just above your naked chest which you display proudly. His eyes darken. Your arms are covered in black satin from the tip of your fingernails up to your biceps. He scans below your waist and his jaw drops a little lower seeing your bottom half wrapped in sheer stockings and your feet in patent leather heels.

He continues to watch you quietly like a hungry wolf as you walk around his desk. You run your gloved hands over his chest as you get closer to him. His eyes drop down to your neck again and he brings his hand up to it, lightly stroking the front of your throat with this thumb. You know it drives Ray absolutely wild to see you adorned in nothing but an expensive necklace. Something about you wearing only something so elegant and precious while he defiles you gets his blood flowing.

You noticed in the beginning of your relationship, Ray would gift you these shiny diamond necklaces and thought he was just trying to impress you, but over time, you caught on to his antics.

"I think I'm a bit overdressed for the occasion," you tell him.

"No, you are perfect," Raymond responds while cradling the back of your neck. His eyes admire every single part of your face as if it’s the first time he saw it. He was so taken away by your beauty, and now he is a slave to it - to you. The moment you said 'I do', Raymond just wanted to make love to you, to his wife, right there and then, over and over again. The marriage license and officiation wasn't enough. He wanted to consummate the marriage and claim you as his wife. It's what makes your wedding anniversary extra special to him. While you may look more or less the same as you did the day you met him, to your husband, you are a goddess and with each day that passes that you are married to him, you become more beautiful and god-like to him.

You can feel the coolness of his wedding band against your sensitive skin. His lips ghost over yours as you lean your head away from his. He tries to kiss you again, but you move away. His other arm grabs your waist and pulls you flush against him, holding you in place before smashing his lips against yours.

Raymond's hand slides down behind you, squeezing your ass, and then he presses his crotch against yours. You can feel where all the blood in his body has rushed to. His lips leave yours and dips down to the side of your neck and shoulder. Taking his time, he kisses you all over, being careful to not disturb the pearls. Although now he's thinking about giving you another one as he's imagining you kneeling in front of him with pleading eyes.

For a man who seemed to be in a rush to leave, he sure is taking his time. He is giving equal amounts of attention to every part of your body, making sure to appreciate and worship every inch of your skin. You let out a small moan when Raymond's teeth grazes your shoulder. He doesn't quite sink them in, gently teasing you, although you know he would love to mark you. He wants everyone to know you are his.

Raymond's hand slips down from your neck to one of your breasts. His large hand kneads it as he continues to caress your neck and upper chest with his soft lips. Your breathing is noticeably heavier and you let out a sigh when Raymond backs you up against his desk and presses himself on you. The edge of the desk is digging into your backside.

"Raymond," you pant as you run your fingers through his slick back hair and neck. 

“Yes, my love?” Raymond hums and you arch against him when he pulls a nipple between his pink wet lips. His tongue swirls around the nub a few times before he completely puts his mouth over it and sucks on it. 

You moan in response. He moves on to your other nipple and repeats the same movements, giving it just as much attention. Your hips thrust into the open space between the both of you, needing some friction.

Raymond moves further down your torso and starts placing butterfly kisses all over your belly as his palms run over your hips. As he continues to kiss his way down your body, his teeth catch on the top of the pantyhose and snaps back up into place after it stretches down a few inches.

You look down and watch Raymond who is now kneeling, hover over your heat. You can feel his warm breath on you. The tip of his nose grazes the front of your stockings and he takes a whiff. He looks up at you as he licks you through the thin nylon. You throw your head back and moan, entangling your fingers in his hair.

Suddenly, he flips you around and you brace yourself on the desk. He pushes your ass up and spreads your cheeks. He shoves his nose and mouth against your hot core. He moans as he inhales your arousal, your intoxicating scent. If he could, he would bottle it up and sniff it all day. His face is pressed so close against you, his glasses shift around as he licks and kisses you through the damp delicate material. His hands knead your ass and he buries himself further as his mouth continues to devour you.

You bite your lower lip and push back, grinding yourself against his face, wanting more - needing more. Raymond then digs his fingers into the thin stretchy fabric covering your aching pussy. He bunches it up in his hands and then rips it apart, forming a large opening, exposing your naked wet slit. He practically shredded the expensive French back-seamed pantyhose.

Raymond goes right back in and sticks his face between your legs. You gasp when you feel his thick velvety tongue slip inside you. You clench up when you feel the tip of his nose poke your puckered asshole. He runs the flat of his tongue from your clit up to your dripping opening before he dips the tip of his tongue back in. He puts his mouth over your cunt and sucks on your lips. 

The obscene wet noises and your pants and moans fill up his office and that’s all he needs to keep him going. Your hips jerk when you feel his fingertips teasing your entrance. You push back again hoping his fingers would slide in further. You feel relief when he slips in two fingers all the way up to his knuckle. You clench around his fingers as he slowly works them inside you. You close your eyes and concentrate on the sensation of the penetration and his lips pulling on your clit. The stimulation is making you heady.

“Right there, Raymond,” you moan.

He keeps the pressure and pace consistent. Just as you’re ready for your release, Raymond pulls away, causing you to whimper. You turn back to look at him, but you yelp when you unexpectedly feel him slap your pussy. His hand comes down on it a few more times, leaving it puffy.

“Don’t worry, my love. I’m not done yet.”

You feel him smack your ass a few times and then sink his teeth into one of your cheeks. The sting and bite makes you hiss in delight. Raymond then flips you back around and hoists you up on his desk. He steps into the space between your legs. 

You pull his tie out of his waistcoat and pull him closer to you. You kiss him and grab his face with both your hands to deepen it, tasting yourself on his lips and tongue as you run your smooth hands over his rough beard. As you make out with him, you slide a hand down the front of his jeans, slipping them inside his boxers and grasping his length and running your silky fingers over him.

Raymond moans into your mouth and you nibble on his bottom lip. You pull back and pop your pointer and middle fingers into his mouth. You slide them in and out between his lips as you jerk him with your other hand. He gently grasps the tip of your gloves between his teeth and he tugs on it. You pull your hand away from him and the glove effortlessly slips off. Ray looks away for a moment to spit the glove.

You suddenly feel Raymond slip a finger inside of you and you moan into his mouth. Only after a few pumps, he slips another in. You pull away, throw your head back and moan again. You brace your hands on the desk to get better leverage as you ride his fingers. You bite your bottom lip as you feel him curl his fingers up, rubbing that soft spot inside you.

Ray brings his other hand up to your collarbone, teasing and caressing the string of creamy white beads. He grasps your chin and leans in to kiss you again. You shove your tongue into his mouth and he reciprocates with as much passion. You whine when you feel him pull out of you, but he quickly replaces his mouth with his fingers that were just inside you.

You suck on them, tasting your juices. He then wipes his fingers on your lips, smudging your lipstick even more than it already is.

“Lie back,” Raymond commands. 

You do so and watch Raymond swiftly unbuckle his belt and undo his fly. He pushes his pants and boxers down, freeing his heavy cock that’s been straining behind his zipper. He grips your thighs and shoves them open. He reaches down to align himself with you and rubs the tip up and down your drenched pussy, rubbing your clit along the way, before sinking into you.

“Oh, fuck!” you moan loudly as he starts moving in and out of you, slowly at first. It feels like torture.

“Please, Raymond,” You reach your hands out to him. 

“What do you need, my love?” Raymond leans down closer to you and pushes himself to the hilt. You sigh feeling him filling you up. You feel so full.

“I need you,” you manage to say as you run your hands over his chest, under the collar of his waistcoat. You want to feel him. You want to feel his body on yours.

You grip the gaps between the buttons on his shirt and pull it open, sending buttons flying everywhere. You reach up and press your palms to his bare chest. Feeling his warm smooth skin on yours makes you feel closer to him.

One of Raymond’s hands finds his way back to your neck as he punches his hips into you.

“Who does this cunt belong to?” Raymond asks.

“You,” you answer him.

“Tell me that,” Raymond wraps his fingers around your throat.

“My cunt belongs to you, Raymond.” 

“Damn right, it does,” he grunts. 

You grab the opening of his shirt and pull him down closer to you. You smash your lips against his. Raymond grips your jaw and deepens the kiss. He releases your face to push both your legs up and folds you in half until your knees reach your chest. 

He grasps the edge of his desk above your head, pinning your legs back and reaches deeper into you. He pounds into you hard and fast, hitting your g-spot as he does. You moan into his mouth as you feel your orgasm quickly bubbling.

“Don’t stop, Raymond,” you breathe out.

“Cum for me, my love. I want to feel you cum all over my cock,” Raymond grunts. “Your cock. This cock is all yours.”

He presses his forehead against yours as he slams his hips into you, making his desk jump and shift against the hardwood floors. You throw your head back and cry out as you let your orgasm take course through your body.

“Oh, my love,” Raymond growls as he reaches his own release, painting your walls white.

He stays inside you as you both lay there for a few moments to catch your breath.

“I love you so much.” Raymond pecks your lips.

“I love you too, Raymond.” You smile at him.

Raymond then gently pulls out of you, letting his seed leak out of you.

“Come on, my love. We have a dinner reservation.” Raymond pushes himself off of you and offers his hands. 

He pulls you up off the desk and you both head back to the bedroom to quickly clean yourselves up and pick out some new outfits. You slip into the green dress you had picked out for tonight and abandon the torn hosiery. You look into the floor length mirror to make sure everything is in place and your makeup is decent.

“That color looks so lovely on you,” Raymond eyes you up and down and then comes up behind you, placing his hands on your waist. He pushes your hair aside and starts kissing your neck.

“Raymond,” you tilt your head to the side and hum. “We’re already running late.”

“I have something for you. I think it would go so well with your dress.” He brushes his lips against your shoulder before pressing his lips to it.

He presents a velvet box to you and you take it. You have a feeling you already know what it is. You open it up and gasp seeing an emerald necklace shining at you. The large cut gems are set in yellow gold and surrounded by diamonds.

“Raymond…” you whisper as you run your manicured fingertips over it.

“You like it, my love?” 

“This is… too much. I can’t–”

“Nothing is ever too much. Not for you, not for my wife.” Raymond leans in and kisses your cheek. “Here, let me put it on you.”

He first removes your pearls and then takes the new necklace from the box. You watch in the mirror as he hangs it around your neck and clasps it in place. 

“Thank you, Raymond. I love it.” You turn to him and kiss him. “Happy Anniversary.”

“Happy Anniversary, my love.” Raymond smiles.

“Oh wow, is that really the time? We’re never going to make it in time,” you tell him, seeing the clock. “We might have to order takeaway instead.”

“Don’t be silly, my love. I promised you a nice anniversary dinner. I’ll just tell them we’re stuck in traffic and will be a little late,” Raymond tells you.

“You think they’ll still hold the reservation?” you ask, centering the necklace and admiring it.

“Michael is a part owner. They’ll stay open past closing time if I tell them to,” Ray replies. You see him wink in the reflection and then he gives you a kiss on the cheek. 

His eyes darken again as they shift down to your neck and he licks his lips.

“We better get going now or we’re never going to leave,” he growls into your ear and then playfully bites your neck.

He takes your hand in his and leads you out of the bedroom.

“By the way, those were one of my favorite pairs of nylons,” you tell him.

“I’ll buy 20 pairs for you, my love.”

“I don’t need that many,” you chuckle.

“They’re for me so I can tear them off of you again and again,” Raymond smirks mischievously.