#my illness is so rare it doesnt even have a tag

[martyrbat]

👍👍

[toytulini]

lightly defending Toshiro while also fully understanding Laois frustrations. as a bitch who let teachers call me the wrong name all through high school cos it was kinda funny

[emmetofthestars]

Yes please!! A summary would be greatly appreciated!! An thanku for the helpful tag,, will be looking forward to a tag for yer blu team if you make one!

ive gone ahead and tagged (most) of my blu art under #emmetsis blu!

i also totally forgot that i have a carrd for my blu team and for two extra ocs... but because its rather empty it makes more sense i write something new. the carrd does have pronouns though.

to be more general first, blu team are my blu merc ocs and they are all clones of red team. along the way of cloning and growing they gained their unique personalities. so while they are clones, they are by now completely different people. as a result of respawn machines being a thing in my story, they all generally do not take death seriously as there are no real consequences to it, aswell as the existance of their medic. i think this is a bit of an important thing to add.

jay is the teams scout. not loud and brash at all, unlike red scout. shes not very enthusiastic about the war and she sees no use in it all. shes a close friend with crawford, and they both hang out and skip out on work. the two of them rarely go places without eachother. she likes lemon soda and sour tastes in general :3

carl is the soldier. unlike his red counterpart he is not confident or headstrong. he fears alot of things from small animals to the outside, aswell as people. he keeps his helmet on desperately as light hurts his eyes to the point of headaches. he always gets alot of scrutiny from charon. while there are sufficient bedrooms at blu base, he instead lives in a windowless storage room, in a sort of pillow-blanket fort.

gary is the pyro. bearing no lick of red pyros bloodlust and arsonist nature, gary does not fight. though they know how to fight back, they do not like seeing people in pain and will never attack first. while they arent an arsonist, they love water to almost a similar destructive degree. they would flood their bedroom to the brim with water, if they could. they like to sit at the bottom of lakes.

achilles is the demo. she does not dabble in explosives, but rather swords. he has a fascination with books in general and books about mythology of all sorts, peculiarly achilles of greek mythology, which they named themselves after. also has a particular fascination with cutting peoples heads off, but not out of malice, just out of pure love to his sword and shield, his half-zatoichi and splendid screen. she thinks shes pretty awesome.

daisy is the heavy. he has the same protective nature over people, and though he looks like a big softie he will not hesitate to strike if he recognizes a threat. but when somebody he trusts hurts him, its hard for him to let go. tries to learn how to knit and anything adjacent. when not, just likes to talk to people or take walks. he does not carry a minigun, he sticks to his shotgun and melee.

minnie is the engie. minnie is minnie. minnie builds mini sentries. sometimes teleporters. rarely dispensers. but mostly mini sentries. minnie can say four words: mini, sentry, teleporter, and dispenser. anything else? tough luck. even then, minnie does not speak enough times for anyone to remember what it sounds like.

charon is the medic. whatever inner issues red medic had manifest strangely in charon. not a very good medic- they dont respond to their teammates cries, charging into battle on their own with secondary and melee. they are extremely (hypo)critical and aggressive, and they get physical fast. however, when they are done screaming about whatever it is that their team has done wrong THIS time, they regret what they did, silently berating themselves. and the very next day, they would scream again, and regret it again. the day after that, and after that. they dont talk to anyone at length, not even achilles. they dont apologize, as they have no faith left in themself.

crawford is the sniper. (ill most often refer to him as crow.) unknowingly a drunkard- she doesnt actually know what alcohol is, just finds it tasty. he is as loving of the outdoors as his red counterpart, particularly of heights. she will climb any high building or abandoned pylon, with no regard to safety or her own life, just to feel the wind in her face. would also eat most foods if hes curious, even something such as pure raw meat- he is not aware that meat needs to be cooked. also a literal night owl. she sleeps at day and is wide awake at night.

iris is the spy. though she does her job as best she can, he is in no way as tenacious as red spy. he rarely disguises, and resorts instead to cloaking with the cloak & dagger. the pressure of their job gets to them, they are hardly energetic and often cant even find the energy to hold long conversations with people, or even say anything - the most she will do is approach people to ask them a technical question, then leave. and as a result of an "incident" with the red medic... its only worsened since then.

wow this was a long one..... i love infodumping.... :) some of this is POSSIBLY bound to change but in general their roles are pretty set in stone. i am still actively writing them though.

[andromerot]

hello dear friends and followers. i have decided to start this year by initiating the seventh (is it the sixth? i choose to believe seventh) relisten of the mabel podcast and to share it with you all in this blog. i will go very slowly as to not become completely insane in the head, maybe even one episode a day, and i will gladly share every single moment that makes me run into a pit of lava. if you would like to avoid spoilers or you think im annoying, you can block my detailed tag. this will be beautiful for me and puzzling for many.

mabel, episode one: the letters. in which nothing becomes clear

anna limon normalest girl in the woarld ^-^

we never did find out who anna got mabels number from huh. does anyone have theories?

BABYGIRL sorry. i love her

the music in season one goes SO hard

"i hope you haven't gotten my last two messages um or i mean or i hope theres a good reason you haven't gotten my last two messages like maybe um youre in a tour of europe or something not like i hope you're dead in a ditch somewhere...yeah uh thats really weird im sorry" WOMAN WITH PROBLEMS NUMBER ONE

anna starts fictionalizing mabel in like minute six. shes so. i wont her

just water and echoes and silence ....

the scripts and audio are so different in the first couple seasons it can get a bit annoying and it doesnt really function as a transcript but i also like getting two versions of the same deal a lot

the liminality of her life. its not even about the job though. shes always lived like this, in between worlds, always a stranger. her life was never something that belonged to her, really.

THE BRAIN-ATTIC...where mabel lived, still buzzing !!! "its like being inside something alive, like being inside a heart"

im a little bit obsessed with the box saying 1986 on it...this show rejects all linear and conventional time, its so rare to get a real world date. why is this one here? we don't even know for sure mabel WAS born in 1986. but if she was, what does it mean for it to be written in the box of letters ??? AND were there just two boxes, did sally make a mistake, or did something inside her want anna to see the letters!!!

SALLY SCREAMING LIKE SOMETHING INHUMAN LIKE A FOX UGH ill have more to say about this on ep7 when mabel brings it up but just know it makes me sick in the head

"she stopped screaming, eventually. eventually she let me touch her again. she looked up at me and said, I’M GOING INTO THE GROUND FOR YOU...

...and then she said it again, and again and again, IM GOING INTO THE GROUND FOR YOU, like that, like it meant something else, something... important."

"AND THEN IT WAS JUST ME AND THE BOX. WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE? I WENT STRAIGHT FOR IT. THERE IS NO VERSION OF THIS STORY IN WHICH I DON'T GO STRAIGHT FOR IT" MY GOD.....!!! it tells you everything from episode one

the red lipstick kiss + the reallyred lips next episode im a bloodymouth luna truther. thats not lipstick thats her soups

the voice of mabel martin is BEEP you will always be famous

man imagine being little sixteen year old andy in september of 2020 turning on an episode for a new podcast thats been on her list for like a year just trying it out while doing the dishes or something. and then having it change your life forever. god. this is all so special to me. ok see you tomorrow for the second instalment of this epic saga. will become more and more incoherent as we go along

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

Dear The-Gayest-Tree-You-Ever-Seen, you seem wise in the ways of tumblr as such I must ask for trending in tumblr do they count reblogs or is it just post?

i think it's reblogs over time -- so even if it doesnt have the most rbs, its being engaged with more in recent hours, but its also a slightly different "recommended" tab, just disguised and toddling around. wait i misread your question, yes they do reblogged additions that are popular as well as just original posts -- i notice when i use the tab that i sometimes see both editions, just the op, and a popular reblog chain of their post. but tbh i rarely use it at all, i much prefer going into the tags and scrolling my own dash, ill only go on it if nothing is happening, or if something big is happening and im lost

[starry622]

hello, im oliver, or v for short. i am 20 years old, bodily. im an artist, a dog, and the host of a system.

ive got bpd, hpd, dpd, and schizophrenia, all of which, of course, affect the system. my biggest psychotic symptom is that of clinical lycanthropy and cynanthropy, which you will see reflected often on this blog (especially under the tag #clinical zoanthropy). i cant effectively be reality checked, at least in this regard, so dont even try it. more info on this under the cut. :]

im very into social justice, mogai/liom, art, and general fandom stuff

i now have a somewhat stable home, but i still take donations, as i lost my job last month and currently have no way to make any money besides commissions and donations. i work hard every day applying to every job i can possibly find, following up on applications, and getting interviews, but that does not fund the cost of living in the meantime. im working to put up a commissions carrd (that will also function as a mini portfolio), though i will still be taking commissions before the carrd is finalized. i havent had a meal in a week, so i could really use the money, if anyone is willing to help.

if you need a dni, my basic boundaries are that proshippers, pro-contact harmful paraphiles, and radqueers dont interact. i do, however, have a byf, which is on my carrd (linked below)

my personal carrd is here: [link]

my commission carrd is: still unfinished

my cashapp is: $Starry622

do be warned, my tumblr webtheme (starry622.tumblr.com) is not safe for those who are sensitive to flashing or eyestrain. there is no necessary info on my webtheme, so you will not ever have to visit it for any reason.

for more zoanthropy info: my body can morph and change to become more canine-like, and it can go through certain stages. human-> boy with canine features -> full canine (with the regular animal anatomy) or werecanine (more like a hollywood werewolf) and my transformations can cause pain and discomfort, though i mostly just feel fur sprouting and my organs shifting. my mind is that of a humans, however my soul and dna are that of a canines.

i dont really know what a p-shifter is, but i guess you could call me one? i dont think shifting is something you can learn anyways and i cant control it, so i feel like most people either can or cant shift. theres always exceptions to the rule, however, not that i would be teaching anyone how, especially because that seems like a dangerous move for all involved parties. plus, i dont even know how i do it, i just do, so id be useless for that.

i dont know what the deal is and why i am both a wolf and a dog, and my identity as a whole is definitely more dog, all i know is that its me. thats why i use canine instead of specific dog or wolf when speaking generally, because "dog or wolf" is a mouthful.

i dont identify with the word human, but its easier to explain that way. i am more a person. my brain is and stays that of a sentient, sapient person living in a human society. im culturally human, you could say.

rarely, ill have short-ish bouts where i am a different animal, usually on top of being a canine, which confuses me, but i choose to go with the flow about it. if i think too too much about it, im afraid ill confuse myself more than just suddenly becoming a lagothrope/kounanthrope (family including rabbits, bunnies, hares) and accepting it until its over. i dont know what those little bouts are about, and i kinda dont wanna know!

i identify with my diagnosed clinical label simply because i experience a lot of double bookkeeping (i believe thats what its called). im aware of myself in some ways, and see how others see me alongside how i see myself. this is also exactly why reality checking doesnt work on me. i am aware of my symptoms, and i believe the delusions and semi-rare hallucinations that act as proof of my true self. my experience is constant clashing in that way, like i can see more than everyone else, but it rarely causes a problem, and so i go with it. no use fighting it. im a lazy dog, if youll forgive the pun.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

have you ever considered some abstract-ass pairings? like the "how the fuck did you even come up with that pairings?

im not accusing you of doing it lol, but i personally do and am. curious to see if i am normal

IM NOT TOTALLY SURE, because i tend to have very specific reasonings for why i think two characters would be good together, but i definitely think that from an outside perspective some of my ships can be seen as pretty abstract..

(under the cut again sorry im nonstop yapping for way too long guys..)

BUT almost any pairing you think of in a semi-popular fandom like saiki k, SOMEBODY has probably made content about it.. and its more popular in japan, so you may not be able to FIND ur pairing but theres probably SOMETHING out there about it, just in a language you aren't searching in or something.. like, toritsuka x kuboyasu is one pairing i have NEVER seen an english speaking person post about, but if you go in japanese or korean speaking saiki k spaces, that ship is EXTREMELY popular! theres TONS of fanart!!

so yea, whats popular or even what gets any content at all can be surprising sometimes.. like, a few of my favorite tdlosk ships are arisu x rifuta, arisu x aiura, and rifuta x yumehara (+arisu x yumehara but this is kinda popular i think) (im just a lesbian with a bias towards sapphic ships, i see two pretty girls and i ship..) and i shipped them before i ever started looking online for content and when i finally did, i didnt think i would ever see any content of them but. there is. theres plenty of content of them. theyre rare enough pairs that i dont think they have ship names so it can be hard to actually find that content since theres no ship name ever tagged, but it very much exists!

if youd asked me this like a month ago i wouldve said that saiki x suzumiya is one of these abstract ships for me (if you wanna know why i like it, i just like the idea of instead of satou being so average he balances her out, saiki just like superhero-ing every other minute without her even noticing. i also like this as a polycule which ill talk about in a minute-) but somebody on here posted it around that time LOL.. theres also some other rare pairs i enjoy like mera x saiki or kuboyasu x yumehara, but though these are rare-ish pairs, they still have a notable presence so i wouldnt quite call them abstract.. (also yo damn well kubosai is my NUMBER ONEEEE ship, which you could call a rare pair if you didnt go on tumblr or ao3 cuz its VERY concentrated over here and doesnt really exist anywhere else.. except in the japanese fandom LOL.. but yea its definitely not a rare pair over here, its gotten way more popular recently too..)

the more abstractness comes when you start shipping polycules... then its way less likely for you to be able to find your specific ship.. lol.. like the ones i just talked about, you put rifuta x yumehara x arisu x aiura all together ?? no WAY am i gonna find that, it may exist somewhere but youll never find it, or at least i couldnt lol.. some of my fav rare (more like completely nonexistent except for some IVE posted about) polyam ships are the one i just said, kuboyasu x saiki x hairo x nendo, (also love kuboyasu x saiki x kaido but this one actually gets content hehe.. same with kuboyasu x kaido x yumehara.. LOVE that one..) mera x yumehara x aiura, kuboyasu x saiki x saiko (x kaido maybe), toritsuka x kaido x yumehara, mera x saiki x kuboyasu (x saiko sometimes and/or hairo) and probably more that im forgetting... i also really love the psychickers x satou and suzumiya which im actually not sure if theres ever been content of them, i think the only time ive seen it mentioned is someone being like "theyre dating hehe" on a pic of them lol.. its a funny ship for me because its actually one of my favorites even though some of the individual ships im not a fan of + i also hc that satou is very very straight but idk.. somehow this works.. i feel like maybe if he starts dating suzumiya and shes bi and polyam then it might accidentally give him a sexuality crisis because hes probably never even considered that he could be queer before.. idk.. whatever.. it just works..

idk, someone give me examples of tdlosk rare pairs that could actually work...

[vaudeville-venom]

3/4AM — O3-12-2O24 : RANT / RAMBLE ﹐🪶 ˖ overview: im tired of tiktok, want to move to other social media platforms. want to start blogging / journaling on tumblr and love the idea of others doing the same and find it interesting. want to redo my intro post really bad (i bring it up alot.) i want to have the 'average highschool experience', feel alone then ramble about my life a bit. talk about how i am rambling and how i dont expect anyone to read it. im tired of having a fucked up sleep schedule and being unstable. then an ending note talking about journaling on tumblr again, moodboards, the fucking intro post again, and want to work on a tagging system. (im really fucking tired oh my god)

[ me-core / aesthetic of my brain atm ] : images frm Pinterest

im really debating on just leaving tiktok for now, the algorithm fucking sucks especially right now. its boring as fuck and im not even seeing stuff of my interests or my mutuals ☠️ its all the same 3 god damn audios of content i wouldnt ever like want or expect to see??? ive mentally wanted to stop using shit like tiktok and move to using tumblr more and other sites like spacehey and stuff. i really need to redo spachey too. because while tumblr still has an algorithm ofc its alot less addicting and doesnt absolutely wreck your attention span like tiktok has for me. i feel like not using tiktok other than for occasional posts and sending things to / receiving things from friends would make me a bit more productive as well as being better for me mentally. while it wont magically cure me from any mental illness itll make me feel better and probably help my stress a bit.

i really love the idea of using a tumblr blog to post whatever i want and like use as a digital diary of some kind,, its super fun imo. i had an old acc but it felt like more of a chore to keep up with so now it’s abandoned. speaking of that blog i may make a post being like “hey, im [here] now!!” because i had some neat mutuals there. i think its really neat to see people post about their day and share things they like and reblog everything that catches their eye yk! that may just be a me thing.

i want to redo my intro post a bit, because idk im a bit unhappy with it. (dont be surprised if i edit it mid-writing this or before i post this..) i really love to write but i havent had much motivation at all. i typically love researching my interests and taking notes on them but recently i havent been able to no matter how much i want to, maybe this diary / blogging kind of thing will help me get back on my feet with that :)

i really dont have a ‘yearning’ for anything at the moment, besides having the experience of like everyone else my age. idk how (hahaha) corny that may sound but like for background, im online schooled due to mental and physical disabilities, i dont have many friends online or in person, i rarely see anyone, and i live with my dad and see my mom sometimes and dont really have family outside of that. the family i do have i dont get along with very well or theyre distant (physically or emotionally.) the family i really consider is my dad, because hes always there for me, and my friend micah, but he lives like 9 hours away from me like a LOSER (ily bffie.) im a big believer on chosen family and he is that chosen family. ok i got sidetracked, what im saying is i have no social life really, dont have a place to get a social life (school), and cant really connect with people no matter how i try to. i want to live life like how i see in teen life films or tiktoks of people vlogging with their friends, hell id kill to even have an irl bestfriend to be around. i do have irl friends, and i do have close friends, but i dont see them often or have the personal connection of a mutual best-friend feeling. my dads probably my best friend but i need someone my age lmfao.

this post will be so long that no one will read it i garuntee but also i dont mind?? im not gonna spill my guts like someone wont read this but im not gonna act like i have a large audience. this will just be a nice thing to look back on and keep up unless i anxiously delete it whenever i look back on it (maybe in the morning)

im really tired of waking up at 3-4pm right now, but i cant sleep earlier than 5am no matter what i do. and if i manage to fall asleep at 2am or something i wake up an hour later or wake up at 4-5am panicking for some reason. i havent been to therapy in forever, my therapist is like not doing her job as well as id like and i have no doctor other than my pediatrician who doesn’t understand what im talking about ever!!

i just made this post and thats kinda what led to all of this ranting and wanting to write and shit. im sorta just tired of alot of social media and would love to find myself in other ways and use other forms of social media to share those things even though tumblr is a bit more dead than some things :) im gonna end this one here but if i write another tonight or early tomorrow (like the afternoon same day but it’s tomorrow to me) dont be surprised i love rambling to myself. now i think im going to make this post look cute, post it, redo my pinned intro, work on featured tags/a tagging system, then go from there ^^’

[kk4pups]

hi. i am a person that saw your tags out there and wants to ask you about your vocaloid playlists. go wild have fun <3 have a good time

hi. i love you. i have mental illness. lets talk about it

theres 22 right now........... some of them have silly names but i am not changing that for this post. i had to put emojis on all of them because i started having trouble finding my playlists at a glance. big al is my favorite (105 songs/covers but like 10 are privated so more like 95) but he actually doesnt get new additions to his playlist that often because no one gaf about big al (and im unreasonably picky about how people tune him given how little content he gets too) but i did add one (1) cover last night so thats awesome

my brain rot playlist is the biggest sitting at 855 songs/covers atm, probably an Unreasonable percent of that is covers because most of my favs (big al, piko, fukase, etc) dont Get originals very often for various reasons. but honestly even in the case of favs who get plenty of originals (len, flower) i still have lots of covers for them too i feel like this is somehow a funny reflection of my tastes which i think are kind of unconventional in terms of the selection of synths i enjoy. but at the same time, my dex playlist has literally 3 songs in it because i just found out i had a dex playlist (i forgot) so all of them are various levels of filled out.

the oliver playlist is particularly sparse (8 songs/covers) which i am sad about because oliver is in my top 5-6 vocaloids but i Rarely find things i like with him (because a lot of people use him for ballads and i am incapable of enjoying ballads 99% of the time even if i can appreciate their beauty. i get bored) and im praying to god that maghni will save me from this terrible fate of empty playlist

my rin playlist is pathetic though because probably at least half of it is rin/len duets but this is not the case for my len playlist so my bias is 100% there unfortunately my matsudappoiyo playlist (66 songs/covers) probably sees the most activity in recent days because i listened to just a few covers for him and it was then the only thing youtube would recommend for several months. ron keine is incidental because people ship him with matsudappoiyo so he just kept Showing Up during this period (14 songs/covers. actually since these are two are utau they might all be covers) but ive grown to like him so i actually listen to it frequently and want to add to it my misc utau playlist doesnt have an emoji right now because what the hell emoji do you use for that. the 🇺 emoji isnt a real emoji outside of discord it just converts to unicode do you know how mad i am about that. open to suggestions on this issue i want to make one for kiyoteru but i probably have less than 10 songs for him right now. maybe less than 5. and every time i make a new playlist i have to wrestle youtube to load my 855 song playlist in its entirety, so that i can find all the songs i have for that specific vocaloid, but is so laggy that its actually a problem, i dont know what to do about it. but ive also seen people with 2000+ song vocaloid playlists so i have no idea what im going to do when i get to that point which given enough time i Will but also its taken 7 (?) years to Passively get to this point so i dont think its an immediate concern either (? unless i go insane? which is not an unrealistic possibility at this point) also im open to vocaloid song suggestions always, and it really does not matter who the vocaloid is because i like all vocaloids (yes all of them. yes even that one) in a perfect world i would make a playlist for every vocaloid, but i think if i made an active effort to do so i would literally die, and its something that can only occur if it happened naturally, which it probably wont because even if i am happy to listen to any vocaloid i Do only actively seek out my favs i really need to make more playlists. but like i am already in this position lol

[xysidhe]

This is how bullshit my chronic illness is.

My normal, it's just me being able to function. It's not an absence of pain, or suffering. It's just pain that I can work around.

Days without pain, nausea, splitting migraines, severe insomnia, nonstop tremors and body weakness? Days where I feel like a normal human? Those are rare. So rare I only get that maybe once every 2-4 months. A measly 12-16 hours of utter bliss in the form of feeling like my own body isn't betraying me.

I had that, yesterday, or as close as I can come to it. But I made a mistake, I took a nap because I was tired since my sleep schedule is so messed up. And now I'm far worse than I was the day before, now I'm in the kind of pain I can't work around and I have a nonstop mantra of "don't throw up, don't cry, don't throw up, don't cry" in my head because if I do it's going to be pure agony I won't be able to think around and I don't want another episode to start a mere 5 days after the last one finally stopped.

[mildcicada]

Miscellaneous

[ziptieparty]

i havent seen anyone alloromantic specifically talk about their experiences in aplatonicism, so i thought that more input from a different perspective could be useful?

i relatively recently (maybe 2-3 months ago) saw someone use the word "aplatonic" to describe themselves, and several things clicked into place with me, my general thought process being something like "of course theres a subset of aspec labels for platonic attraction, people feel romantic and sexual attraction separately so obviously theres a platonic side to." and i left it at that for awhile but something about it stuck with me.

i suppose ill start at the beginning,

when i was a kid i was mainly friends with boys, and for awhile i attributed this to being trans and just relating more to male peers. i do still believe this to be a factor but now thinking back on it i realized there was a pattern to my relationships.

at one point or another, i had had crushes on almost all of them.

i realized all at once that the only reason i had even spoken to a majority of my childhood friends was because i had been romantically attracted to them at the beginning of our friendships.

now, i can anticipate some kind of argument along the lines of "thats just how crushes and friendships grow with everyone" or some such nonsense

but i can say with my whole chest that thats not what was happening.

im not very good at explaining things in a way that makes sense to most, but i will attempt to be as clear as possible.

a lot of people wanted to be my friend.

i was funny and loud and friendly to my classmates. i liked to play tag at recess and brought pokemon cards and my tamagotchi to school before they were banned. i shared the parts of my lunches i didnt want, i stood up to bullies, and sat with people that were alone.

but that was about the extent of it

i was friendly

but i was never your friend

i generally considered myself a "loner" and no matter how friendly or talkative or persistent or technically compatible my classmates were-

it never took.

i just. wanted to do what i wanted to do.

i had kids i interacted with often and i named them friends when prompted to list any, but i never actually. spoke to them? it was more like i sat next to them and we did things alongside eachother (parallel play style) and i would say little things to them like hello or good morning or maybe that i liked their shoes but i never like. discussed what i liked with them or vice versa. i couldnt tell you a thing about them beyond their names.

this pattern continued until i started to develop crushes, suddenly i was initiating contact with kids without outside factors. i sat with them and gave them the sweet parts of my food and for the first time

i asked them questions

i wanted to know if they liked the cartoons i did and who their favorite characters were, i was curious about what they liked and what they thought. their input mattered to me.

a majority of my relationships from then on followed similar patterns, i thought they were cute or funny and so i talked to them and could tolerate the connection that followed.

i didnt keep my feelings for a lot of them of course, i had no way of knowing who these people were before getting to know them but the point still stands; i had to have a crush on them first.

this wasnt always the case with my friends, sometimes when i would interact with someone the stars would align and id stay in contact somehow and id end up with a friend that didnt start with romantic feelings.

my life gets messy from my teens on and i will spare you my life story, but i ended up in a position that i only had one person i could pass off as a friend. the relationship was just like the ones from my early childhood, i just kind of existed alongside her and i couldnt really tell you anything about her.

ive never formed bonds with anyone without outside influence and the ones i did were rare or romantic at first. isolation doesnt really bother me, i dont like or need to talk to people often, my own family barely knows me and has to force my interaction

sometimes i kind of joke with my husband that id never had a real friend before because i could never tell him anything about the friends i still had when i had met him, and now i think i have the words to describe why?

im not entirely sure what i should label myself, demiplatonic fits but i feel is a disservice to the people that i was or am friends with that were faster and didnt start romantically. perhaps grayplatonic or something but im just going with aplspec for the moment.

[ririspace]

Hey! How are you doing? I was wondering if you could do a AU Hwang jun-ho x female!reader fanfic where the reader gets scared by thunderstorm and he comforts her. And also can you make it fluffy?

Thank you, hope you have a great day/night ahead. Take

hey hey!thank u for requesting!!im doing pretty fine :D i hope you dont mind it being a school!au situation:dd

ALSO:PLS TELL ME IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST,THANK U!

WARMTH DURING A STORM

warning(s):fluff,not proof read,school!au,written lowercase,soft junho <3

tags: @sweettooth-simps @jeonselca @gay-mother-figure @ghot-girl @squidgame-imagines @sangwoosbixch @mileslovessangwoo

ringgg!the bell rang indicating school’s finally finish for the day.you wish to went home straight away but the current situation isnt much of a help;the dark sky was lit up by lightning,resulting in heavy pouring rain and strong winds—and you hate thunderstorms more than anything.

your friend arent there to walk home with you,since they have things to settle with your homeroom teacher—which leaves you and the student council;jun ho,your classmate,which you never really have so much interaction with,since hes introverted and holds an supreme position in the student council unit,making it difficult to cross path,at the school entrance.

“are you not going to leave?”

jun-ho glaced at you

“i hate thunderstorms.ill wait till it pass..”

“ill walk you home then.the school will be empty soon in 10 minutes,it’s dangerous to leave a girl alone,”his tone seems concerned.

“n-no!its fine,really.its not the first time this has happened..!”you tried to protest.being a student council is tiring in the first place,now he wants to walk you home?that’ll burden him more,you dont want that.

“y/n,listen.its a natural phenomena,there’s nothing you should be worry about,alright?i dont want any student under my watch to get hurt..especially someone i know.”his words might comes off ‘cold’ but it really felt genuine,to come from someone like him.

“o-okay,if you say so.but i want to say that i get a bit touchy if im shocked,i hope its not a problem to you,”you sighed as you open your umbrella.before you could hold it up,a hand grabbed the umbrella’s handle.

“ill hold it,it’ll be easier since im taller.i hope thats okay with you,”

“alright,”you grind.at times like this,nice to have some company.

“okay,here we go”

the thunderstorms doesnt seems like it’ll stop at any moment—rain petters against every windows,the wind gusting so strongly your skirt’s gotten blowed up several times already.it was nightmare.you cant stand to even hear the rumble of the thunder,let alone walking during it.

BOOM!

“eek!!”

you squealed.the sudden loud noise the thunder emits reflexed in you holding onto jun-ho’s arm.

“I-IM SO SO SORRY..” you panicked as you let go of his arm.

“no,you..you can keep holding it..”

“huh?”

“i said you can keep holding onto it,i-if that makes you feel better.”

you never thought someone as cold as him would offer you something like this.

“ah..okay,”you shifted your gaze at him,locking both of your eyes together resulting in his cheek becoming red.he quickly covered his face with his hand to hide his embarrassment.

“pfft,”you chuckled.you cant help but to laugh a bit—seriously,seeing someone like jun-ho hiding his feeling when it’s obvious is entertaining,and very rare—its not everyday you see him being open about his emotions.

“what’s funny?is there something on my face?”

“nope,its nothing.dont worry about it.”

both of you continued to walk.the surrounding was chilly but with him by your side,it doesnt feel that cold at all.his warmth makes your stomach tickled with butterflies.

everything was doing fine until a car speeded through the road leading to jun-ho’s getting splashed which made his shirt to be soaking wet.

“D-DO YOU NEED ANYTHING TO COVER?I HAVE A SPARE SWEATER IN MY BAG..”

“sure..thanks a lot”

“here,” you handed him the sweater while holding the umbrella.

both of you stopped by a closed alleyway to protect you from the rain and well,to give him privacy to change.raindrops makes the loudest noise when they fall at the shingles of the roof,each drop represented your heartbeat,as you were about to saw jun-ho to change his clothe right before your eyes.oh god this feels so wrong.

“dub dab dub dab”

he disrobe his wet shirt by his neck,exposing his bare abs.

“i hope im not making you uncomfortable..”

“no..its..its fine,” you shrugged.you are ABSOLUTELY not fine.you never really that close to him let alone seeing him taking his clothe off??youre living your y/n moment..

“i didnt expect it to fit on me..”

“well..good thing i bought one,right?”

“yea,haha”

“jun-ho,loook!!”

the thunderstorm finally stopped.the dark sky turned to reddish orange.the evening sun cast long shadows on the ground. The slanting rays of the setting sun gave a warm orange tinge to the sky,trees and raindrops complimented it more.the scenery took your breath away,its straight out of a fairytale.

“guess we wont be needing an umbrella anymore,huh”

you finally arrived at your house after the long walk.

“hey,jun-ho”

“yes?”

“thank you for the walk home.and for showing me a side of you ive never knew until just now.” giving him a warm,beaming smile.

“you too,ill see you tomorrow.meet me at my desk..”he patted you on your head,as a ‘thank you’ gesture,smiling back.

“you look good smiling,junho.i dont regret today to rain.”

[ignorancelive]

FINALLY DOING ALL MY TAG GAMES AAAA  IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO DO THESE

@whitedeadflower​ |  pick my favourite albums for bill clinton to enjoy

not necessarily my favorites but i always pick the same 5 albums for these so i just put 4 albums i like a lot and have been listening to more recently <3

@opossuwu​ | 15 questions

1. What is the first song you remember hearing?

english songs: either learn to fly by foo fighters or human by the killers, i really cannot remember which one but it was around the same time im pretty sure

spanish songs: ALL the songs on/by rebelde, my sister was super into it when i was a baby so i heard so many of their songs right as i was learning to become a human

2. What is the first band you got into?

mmmmmmm probably one direction? if we’re not counting rebelde lol

3. Do you collect music on any physical format?

i collect almost all cds i know and like on CD and have recently started buying vinyl but i think im only going to get albums i really like on it since its more expensive

4. What is your favourite piece of music-related memorabilia/merchandise?

SO many things. i really like my nirvana and red hot chili peppers shirts because they make me feel cute! im also IN LOVE with the in utero angel sticker i bought on redbubble that has a transparent border so its JUST the angel, i stuck it on my record player and i love it so so much

5. What is your favourite concert you've been to?

i have not been to a concert yet :/ i went to a little student festival thing my university hosted for us and saw hunny + hayley kiyoko which was pretty neat

6. If you could see one artist (or band) who is no longer alive in concert, who would it be?

nirvana :(

7. Have you met any musicians?

i went to a cd signing for little mix when i was like 12-13 ish but thats the closest ive gotten lol

8. What is your go-to song/album when feeling sad?

i actually have a playlist of comfort songs to listen to when im sad, but i think the song i most consistently go to is encore by red hot chili peppers

9. What is your go-to song/album when feeling happy?

this one depends. probably hump de bump also by rhcp cause it SLAPS and always puts me in a better mood than when i started

10. What is one music-related documentary you love?

EYE only watched a few minutes of funky monks but im sure if i sat down to watch it now id love it. this is the worst question to ask me because i watch a ton of interviews on youtube so i cant even remember which ones were legit docus as opposed to just youtube vids so this question is gonna be basically unanswered. i do want to watch bob and the monster though

11. What is one concert DVD that you love?

i listen to it more as an album on spotify than watch it but Nirvana’s MTV Unplugged is so good

12. Do you prefer listening to playlists or full albums?

usually playlists! but occasionally ill play the albums i have on my player

13. Do you tend to listen to albums in order or on shuffle?

in order, shuffling them is rare

14. What is your favourite deep cut song by your favourite artist?

favorite artist is rhcp and honestly im? not fully sure. quixoticelixer slaps. and i like almost every song on im with you. but i think im gonna have to go with storm in a teacup cause i checked its streams and its not that popular </3

15. What is your favorite CD/vinyl/cassette that you own in terms of packaging?

THIS ONES SO HARD I LOVE PACKAGING DESIGNS. i love how rhcp’s im with you disc looks like because it has the track list on it but it doesnt look bad like other discs who do that do. booklet design i love vices and virtues by panic at the disco and american idiot by green day. idk what this would fall under but i also love how stadium arcadium’s booklet is held in the case and how when you take it out you see a picture of the band. and there are too many albums whose art i love so i cannot elaborate on that without making this 5xs longer lmao

@garbanz0​ & @dailywilliams​​ | top 5 songs ive had on repeat recently

according to spotify’s on repeat playlist:

but also according to my last.fm:

so basically red hot chili peppers own my ass

@badhe4d​ , @garbanz0​ , & @catts-world​ | 10 songs you like, each by a different artist

uhhhhhhhhhhh

1. Monarchy of Roses - RHCP 

2. Back and Forth - Foo Fighters

3. Heart of Glass - Blondie

4. Omission - John Frusciante and Josh Klinghoffer

5. Dance with Me - Sir, Please

6. Henrietta - The Fratellis

7. Breed - Nirvana

8. Mary - The Happy Fits

9. Girls and Boys - Blur

10. It’s All So Incredibly Loud - Glass Animals

@psychoticbreak​ |  suppose you’re being sent to a deserted island for the rest of your life, and you can only choose 10 records to bring with you and those are the only albums you can listen to for the remainder of your life; what albums are they

oh GOD ok

1. in utero - nirvana

2. stadium arcadium - RHCP

3. nothing personal - all time low

4. red - taylor swift

5. after laughter - paramore

6. wasting light - foo fighters

7. im with you + im beside you if you count them as the same album - RHCP

8. so wrong its right - all time low

9. american idiot - green day

10. inside of emptiness - john frusciante

@mark-hoppuss​ |  shuffle my playlist and list the first ten songs that come up

1. New Invention - I Don’t Know How But They Found Me

2. Thanks to You - All Time Low

3. Por Que Me Haces Llorar? - Juan Gabriel 

4. Torture Me - Red Hot Chili Peppers

5. Speak Now - Taylor Swift

6. Prayer of the Refugee - Rise Against

7. Going Away to College - blink-182

8. Time-Bomb - All Time Low

9. DNA. - Kendrick Lamar

10. Heaven is a Place on Earth - Belinda Carlisle

@frafru1​ , @whitedeadflower​ , & @psychoticbreak​ | make a playlist with the letters of my name

Lithium by Nirvana

Universally Speaking by RHCP

Pool by Paramore

Eye Opener by Dot Hacker

@badhe4d​ |  post my lock screen, the last song I listened to and the last picture I saved on my phone

friends name blocked out but. an interesting screenshot. yes i have flea’s tweet notifs on and use twitter for absolutely nothing else. yes i have email notifs on 

if screenshots count:

if they DONT count and you mean purely just saving:

my icon and boyfriend <3

@badhe4d​ | 7 questions to get to know me better

three ships: not romantically because i dont believe in shipping irl people but i love everyone in rhcp’s gay polycule energy. specifically john and anthony in the 80s. romantically tho mickey and ian in shameless. i dont think i have a third one? me and my bisexual mutuals <3

last song: i shuffled a ton of songs and skipped for some of these tags but before those i was listening to the album weird kids by we are the in crowd as a tbt, specifically the song manners

last movie: inside by bo burnham but if you dont count that, hereditary 

currently watching: it is very difficult for me to watch shows so im currently just watching youtube lol

currently reading: nothing. i cannot read :( bc of attention issues not bc im illiterate

currently consuming: banana bread :3

currently craving: RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS RELEASE YOUR FUCKING ALBUM CHALLENGE

@the-replacemints​​ |  top 10 favorite debut albums

NOT in order. also it took way too long to come up with this list lol

1. Concentrate - The Happy Fits

2. So Wrong It’s Right - All Time Low

3. SOUR - Olivia Rodrigo

4. Strange Desire - Bleachers

5. RAZZMATAZZ - I Dont Know How But They Found Me

6. Hot Fuss - The Killers

7. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend

8. Bleach - Nirvana

9. Costello Music - The Fratellis

10. WALK THE MOON - Walk The Moon

because theres so many of these im not gonna tag people for each individual prompt but if you tagged me in one of these i tag you in whichever ones you wanna do <3

[rouge-the-bat]

Hey! this isn't meant to be hate whatsoever, but what is a bi lesbian? I'm just curious! /gen

dw i dont mind ppl askin ! a lot of ppl ask n its understandable, its not a super common label! usually i tend to just point towards my @bi-lesbian blog and at my #explanation tag on there, since its a collection of various posts from me and others explaining usages of the label (and my #history tag includes some stuff that are reasons why people use the label too), but im feeling Wordy rn so ill give some quick examples here too!

generally bi lesbian doesnt have like A Single Definition, because its not a strict and rigid label. its meant for people who have complex identities and feel like they fall into gray areas between labels, have reasons where they feel like both labels accurately fit them, or just feel like either labels individually dont describe them quite well enough (or a mix, all of the above, or otherwise)! and also bi lesbian isnt like something where if your attraction is like x or y then you Have to use it, its a fully optional thing! (like all labels honestly, despite how people treat them)

some examples are people with split attraction (biromantic homosexual or vice versa), people who are unsure what their attraction is exactly, people who are arospec and/or acespec and have confusing attraction due to that, people who have had exceptions/very rare attraction to guys, people who like only girls and enbies*, people who are abroromantic/sexual (attraction that is fluid/changes over time), consider lesbian as an umbrella label since its historically been used as such and is still considered as one by a lot of people (despite radfems and ppl that fall for their rhetoric trying to act like its universally not considered one anymore, or never even was one lol) and whatever other possible varying situations and experiences people can have with their orientation! people are complex, so some of us like our labels to reflect that!

*on the liking women and enbies part: lesbian can include nonbinary people but it doesnt necessarily explicitly include all/most nonbinary genders, and not all enbies are comfortable falling under lesbian attraction (even some ones that consider themselves woman-aligned, bc they dont want to possibly be seen as Just A Woman). theres a huge issue with people not considering lesbian as being open to exceptions At All and people forcibly pushing its "exclusively for women loving women" and general Not Allowing Complex Gender/Orientation, so that can make a lot of people uncomfortable with it since they dont want to be seen as women when theyre not

[xiaophobic]

OKAY SO UH MY TEAM AS FOR RIGHT NOW CONSISTS OF FISCHL YANFEI XIAO AND QIQI (WHO I GOT YESTERDAY AAA!!) so i basically imagine this going down this way;

because of the fact that i cant talk,, like i rarely talk i think i would get a little close to xiao by just us,, sitting in silence ya know?! hes probably just like “??” the first couple of times but im just sitting beside him so hes like “fine ig🤨”

i think that fischl and yanfei would get ALONG,. THEY BOTH TALK SO MUCH,, i think they would be the two that actually carry the conversations considering me or xiao wouldnt😭😭

i think yanfeis lowkey very intrigued by fischls stories JSJDJS even tho she catches on that theyre not true after sometime she still likes to listen to her talk and in exchange yanfei can go on abt law to her and she would listen as well

so i think those two would hit it off immediately and as for xiao at first he would be like “years of fighting demons and karmic debt really led me to this??” but after sometime he started to tag along because he feels like he has to protect the rest bc “theyre idiots but theyre my idiots🙄”

AS FOR QIQI,, the baby of the group 100%,, xiaos very scared and unsure at first considering their backstory but after he notices she doesnt remember anything, he tries his best

(yes im here to spread my older brother xiao agenda)

fischl definitely tells qiqi stories and xiao tries to learn how to braid her hair</3

he swear he doesnt care but everyone could see his eyes watered a little bit when qiqi brought him flowers from her walk with yanfei

xiaos thoroughly confused about yanfei — shes an adeptus?? but she doesnt serve rex lapis?? but after sometime he gets to the conclusion that maybe its for the better. he doesnt wish for her to go through what he did

again abt me and xiao considering we both dont really,, sleep a lot for multiple reasons i think thats the moment when we would probably start to talk a little bit to each other ya know

WAIT ALSO OZ,, qiqi loves oz but shes confused abt him😭😭 and oz just tells her stories too

after sometime fischl probably slowly drops the way she talks and everyone knows it happened because she begun to trust them and everyones touched about it

i mentioned it before but yanfei absolutely takes qiqi outside when its colder and shes the one that does her exercises with her (..and xiao joins),, she also reminds her of her notebook,,

oh about fischl and xiao,, i think shes a little bit intimidated by him at first, but then he starts to warm up and i think she also begins to treat him like an older brother figure</3

honestly after time if anyone needs help with their hair they go to xiao

I HAVE MUCH MORE BUT THIS IS GETTING LONG SO ILL STOP NOW SJDHJS

XIAO BEING A BIG BROTHER FIGURE TO LITERALLY ALL OF THEM 💖💕💘💓💝💞💗

I AM SO SOFT AND ABSOLUTELY BEHIND THE BIG BROTHER AGENDA!!! i feel like that dynamic would exist in my team as well, with zhongli being the designated father figure he’s definitely the big brother that keeps mfs in line when he’s not around y’know AAHSHHABS

fischl and yanfei talking each other’s ears off ☹️ them just being happy that someone finally hears them and listens WAHHH THATS SO CUTE

AND BABY QIQI!!! GOD I WISH I HAD HER MAN SHES ADORABLE,, HER BRINGING XIAO BACK FLOWERS IM GONNA CRY

pls xiao and i would be the insomniacs too, except i’m way more annoying and talkative 🥴 but your team is amazing, they are a little family :))

IF YOU HAVE MORE SEND THEN IN??? I DO NOT CARE ABOUT ASKS BEING LONG I WILL ANSWER THEM 🤬🤬 I LOVE READING THIS SHIT GIMME