#my identity issues come from her just doing whatever it takes to stand out a bit while being a tyrant

[whimsycore]

Literally nothing in my life makes sense and there’s no escape from it. Even when I try to put my head down and ignore everything.

[aidenlydia]

I have seen that you are very open about supporting trans people and that your pronouns are they/them. How were you able to understand that you were trans? (If you are.) I've honestly felt so confused lately and don't have anyone I can ask about this. I love your ftm ghost art. I think it is amazing. I just don't know what to do or how I'll ever be able to figure out myself. Totally not your job but was curious if you had advice.

Not sure how helpful this will be, because my trans experience is deeply interlinked with my Dissociative Identity Disorder and Autism, so I'm sorry if this is a bit confusing.

What is Dissociative Identity Disorder

Dissociative Identity Disorder - Terms and Definitions

Autism and Gender

The reason why I go by they/them is because we're literally multiple people. Our two Hosts Aiden and Lydia (aka the alters interacting most with the world outside of our own head) are a man and a woman. We spend all our time together, sharing a body and the control over it.

We used to go by he/she, but people would only view us as a girl because of our body, so we switched to they/them. It makes more sense and feels better to be acknowledged together instead of Aiden being left out all the damn time.

Now bear with me here.

Though Lydia is a cis women, she grew up never belonging anywhere because we're autistic, so she feels like an imposter and a fraud when trying to connect to her feminity. Most days we barely feel human at all because we've been othered all our life. But she still views herself as a woman - motherhood in particular is a big important part of her.

Aiden is a trans man, but he doesn't mind our feminine body and doesn't plan on getting surgery ever. Testosterone maybe, but even that isn't super important to him at the moment. To him knowing he's a man is enough, passing isn't a priority at all. And because all of our Littles are girls he's rather protective of their body - any kind of medical procedure would cause a lot of fear in them.

He realized he's trans because he preferred a male name for himself, short hair and male clothing. It happened very quickly because exploring gender has never been an issue for us, it's fun and simply felt comfortable.

We do have two Agender Alters, but they don't come out in our regular daily life. They don't feel like anything really, they're deeply connected to nature and just want to exist as genderless beings, so they prefer not taking control of our body. It feels peaceful not being put into a box or defined by gender expectations and whatever other bullshit the world comes up with.

In the past we used to have another trans male Host, but he was suffering deeply from gender dysphoria. He couldn't stand the sight of our body or existing in it and became very self destructive about it. Until one day he just stopped coming out and hasn't been back since.

Before I even realized I had DID, gender wasn't really a concept to me. Same with names, it just didn't make sense to me why someone couldn't just change their name if they didn't like the one their parents gave them for whatever reason. I think of people as people, not boys and girls. Sure there are physical differences, but the meanings/genderroles we attributed to them are completely made up.

Folks love nagging me about how I draw my Ghost, but the truth is he can walk around looking like a cis girl and still be a man, I truly dgaf. So what if he's smaller and more delicate looking next to that big bear of a captain, that doesn't make him any less of a man.

The best advice I can give is you don't need to label yourself if you don't want to. You can experiment and just see what feels good. Maybe you'll find a label or make a plan along the way, but don't feel pressured to.

Common things people do is try out a different name, change their pronouns, create and play as video game characters of the opposite gender/sex (or gender non-conforming in general), listen to trans playlists/musicians, shop clothes/stuff in the other section (including underwear or things like jewelry ect), read books or watch movies about different kinds of trans characters, watch video essays about trans topics, create OCs or sonas, look at trans art and watch/read about other people's trans journeys.

Of course there are "what's my gender identity" tests you can take too, idk how helpful those are but I guess they can give you a bit more insight and maybe make you ask questions that you haven't asked yourself before.

Lastly here's a list of gender identities and definitions that might be beneficial to have a look at, as well as my trans resource list I put together last month about what can be done to change your gender in various ways

[royboyfanpage]

oooh ok i have a roy question for you! you mentioned in your 'favorite thing about roy' post that him killing electrocutioner was in character for him (i think i agree), could you expand on that? also, regarding rise of arsenal*, is there anything else from it that you think has bits of good characterization, or at least could have if actually done well?

*which imo is pretty awful and poorly executed (and i hate the idea of antihero/villain roy SO much). dead cat panel my beloathed.

Hi, thanks for the ask!

I'm gonna preface this and say I totally agree with you on hating Rise of Arsenal. I know some people really like it, and I can respect that, but personally I really didn't like it. It did it's job of making me cry (every time I have to collect panels from it I tear up), but other than that it was very much just shock value and didn't show much care for any of the characters portrayed in it imo. I also didn't like the way that Roy killed the electrocutioner, I said in my original post that it felt like a villain origin story and I stand by that, it reminds me a little of the Joker movie in some ways which isn't a positive.

That being said, I do think that Roy killing the electrocutioner was in character. I don't think Roy's a killer, which is what RoA seemed to imply (very "one bad day"-esque), but I do think that Lian's death would be the one instance he'd make the conscious decision to take a life. I'm a little tipsy tonight so I can't think of any other examples and I don't have the energy to go searching through comics so take this all with a pinch of salt, but the one example that comes to mind is in his Arsenal mini, where he teams up with Vandal in order to save Lian. Sure, he ends up switching sides mid-fight, but Lian's alive and there's a very real chance that he can find another option to save her (which he does). But I think that comic demonstrates that Roy is willing to bend his moral code when it comes to Lian. I mean, in that same mini it shows something similar, him taking a life in order to protect someone else in the Checkmate flashback in issue 2.

I'm not saying that Roy's an anti-hero, in fact I think he's actually a really good symbol of what a hero should be most of the time, he's a genuinely good man who gets back up when he gets knocked down, and while he does have a reputation of being I guess 'sleazy' he's actually closer to being a boyscout. I can't remember where but it's like that issue in Outsiders where Grace says that Roy doesn't belong in the Outsiders, he's too much of a 'conventional hero' I guess.

But I also don't think his moral code is as strict as, say, Batman's. I know that Bruce did initially want to kill Joker after death in the family, but that whole comic was kinda a mess (Joker being an ambassador for Iran will always confuse the shit out of me), and the main conflict of UtRH was Bruce not killing the Joker, so I'm focusing more on what happened than intent. Although, that is actually another good comparison point for UtRH and RoA. Bruce had Clark there to stop him, whereas throughout RoA one of the biggest points (which I hate) is Roy's isolation. Dinah, who's consistently been one of Roy's biggest supporters, is barely present, and most of the people in his life either dismiss his grief or actively make things worse for him, which really made it easy to kill the electrocutioner. Anyway, I realise I've digressed a lot from the original ask.

Yeah, I do think that killing the electrocutioner was in character for Roy. Again with the Bat comparisons, excluding whatever the hell was going on after Jason died in Death in the Family, Bruce has to be Batman first. Bruce can't kill the Joker, because Batman can't kill the Joker. Roy? He's always been Roy first, at least in my opinion. A lot of the time his identity's at least somewhat public knowledge (Istg there's a panel where he says that, maybe in Titans '99, but either way he literally just wore sunglasses as his disguise for a big part of his hero career so I mean. Who's he hiding from.) Ever since Lian was born, he's been a father first hero second a lot of the time. It reminds me of that video of "would you kill for your kid", and I think Roy would. I think that without the fear of 'what'll Lian think', Roy would be pushed past that point needed to take a life. I don't think he'd become an anti-hero because of it, I hate pretty much everything post-RoA in the New Earth continuity in relation to Roy, but do I think he'd avenge his baby? Yeah.

And for the second half of your ask, the thing is I don't per se think Roy's characterisation was the issue. I think it was mostly the characterisation of everyone else around him. Roy should not have been that isolated during RoA. Plus the writing was all shit, it was just an excuse to have Roy relapse. I'm not saying that Roy relapsing was unrealistic after what happened to Lian, but it's clear that the writers genuinely didn't care about telling a story of grief and addiction when writing it, they just wanted something was maximum shock value.

So yeah. In conclusion, I hate RoA, it makes me cry and IMO it was really shitty writing, Roy would've killed the electrocutioner but not Like That, and where the fuck was his support system.

[hyrulesfav]

i think 🐈‍⬛ and 🐆 having a type in the same type of man on different spectrums is both funny and speaks to their characters actually

(this is also deeply interconnected with my thoughts of the bp and gj considering themselves to be the same person, their other half, the one who both compliments and completes them, etc)

🐈‍⬛ is with♟️ who's a stark contrast to herself.

she's always up and doing something to keep herself busy because, technically, she thinks her worth is tied to how useful she can be. she doesn't want anyone to be treated the same way she was as a child (even if scenarios are different, the similarities are still there, to her), so she always makes sure those she loves wants for not and are always feeling fulfilled.

on the other hand, he's selfish. he'll do what he wants when he wants because he runs on his own clock and doesn't want to go back to doing this, that, and the third just to please someone who will never look. while stubborn, he does things for his own gain (and sometimes others, if he cared about them enough, in a poorly disguised "well, if this isn't working for you, you won't stop bugging me until it does, so.." type of way). and, while this is also, he's also, for lack of a better word, lazy. once again, he runs on his own clock. so what if you needed him somewhere yesterday? he'll get there when he gets there and you'll be happy when he does.

🐈‍⬛ loathes being stationary for to long. who's going to make sure her boys are fed? who's going to remind muhammed that he needs to take it easy? who's going to take care of that stack of essays mr. mozus can't do because his eyes get all strained and start making up issues that aren't there? who's going to keep her nation safe from that new villain of the week? who's—

♟️ forces her to lay down and actually sleep for once, even if she doesn't need to. yes, she's basically a hyperactive mess who's just a little better than cheka, but she doesn't need to be. while she is the bp, she is also elvira, of w.akanda. as much as it may seem to be, it isn't her only identity and she doesn't need to constantly be doing things for other people. she needs to slow down and actually live normally, and, no, traveling across dimensions like it's a field trip doesn't count.

🍰 is so different from 🐆, no words can properly articulate the shock everyone felt when they got together.

🐆 is a combination of 🐈‍⬛ and ♟️. she's always doing something, but it's always for her own gain (supposedly). that museum she robbed? she really wanted to try that necklace on for herself (she returned it to it's rightful owners). that gang she and group jumped? they were talking shit about her and she couldn't let them go around thinking they could do whatever (they were planning on fear-mongering every business in this mall she frequents)! she's a bad person and she owns it. she'll do whatever she needs if it means her dreams are realized and it doesn't matter what it is.

meanwhile, he's just some human who happened to meet her through a mutual friend as kids. he's the son of a couple who are bakers who has an interest in tooth health. he's nowhere near her strength or wealth and could only dream of coming close to the pedestal she stands on. he's only used to the mundane life that comes with living a life like his. the level of violence she's exposed to and bleeds out is something he'll never have to deal with and tanya's sure to make him thankful he won't.

when her day finally comes to an end, he always ready for her with open arms. he's patient and always keeps the light on his porch on for her whenever she's ready. he's the domesticity the excitement in her life can't serve to her on a tray in the mornings, or lift her feet into their lap and massage at her ankles after months of standing.

🍰 is as boring as they come, and 🐆 could never be more glad.

[fallout-lou-begas]

I feel like you've shared your thoughts before on why you don't relate to settings/stories where the process of transitioning is 'solved' through what is functionally a instant button or spell etc and the character then proceeds to not need to interact with their transness again and you much prefer the approach you've taken in IKROAH, but I can't seem it find it. Any chance you know where it is or feel like elaborating on it again?

the short version is that i don't enjoy depictions of trans people who have undergone some form of sci-fi futuristic full-body transmogrification or have taken some fantasy magic transformation potion to become the person that they are (in the context of IKROAH, I used to get asked a lot, "why doesn't Agnes just get a lifetime supply of hormones/her whole body replaced by an auto-doc?") because it's a depiction of trans people that has had transition completely excised out of it. a single perfect procedure that just makes you into who you would have been if you'd been born as the other one instead. this is, to start, really boring. it makes me feel like the author views early transition people, or visibly trans non-passing people in general, as unpleasant or unsavory or otherwise worth just glossing over. meanwhile, i love such people. is there room for them in this world you've created where a perfect cis-congruent body is just one potion away? or where "transition" exclusively happens somehow conveniently off-screen, and when they come back they're all "done"? if you're going to go this route then at least tether it to some very real familiarities: how are these procedures gatekept; what structures exist that allow them to continue being gatekept; what happens to the trans people who cannot access these procedures; how do the people who get these procedures feel about this disparity; etc.

because the defining condition of my life as a trans woman is artificial scarcity. my hormones are constantly getting delayed. electrolysis costs $10,000 and is one of the most excruciatingly painful things on the planet to undergo. i feel like a silly pervert even just thinking about how i'll one day have to explain to an uncaring insurance company that a breast augmentation is actually a necessary procedure. in the meantime i just keep living. sometimes it sucks. it's a lot better than it used to be, because i've got years of experience now, but it still sucks sometimes. this is transition. the constant, perpetual process of becoming and stabilizing where your personal needs and material conditions intersect. it's beautiful and frustrating and means everything to me. these magic sci-fi/fantasy solutions that just "solve" the "issue" of being trans with no drawback, no difficulty, no viscerality, no fragility, they just leave all of these things that mean so much to me completely on the table. shapeshifters and fantasy solutions can make for interesting subtext but trying to make it text just seems so hollow because, like, i'm sorry, but no, this bears zero resemblance to how transition works for real people on the planet earth right now, you cannot have your cake and eat it too

like, in Star Trek, Jadzia Dax can stand in for a lot of trans stuff. she even has to deal, often, with the legacy of her "past identity." but before saying "she's literally trans!", what if the woman's body that the trill was put into was a trans woman, who was transitioning, who is actually literally trans. what if there was an actual literal trans woman on the ship that she could interact with, "compare notes" about such significant "life changes" as it were. i've got huge transsexual feelings about a ton of characters from random shit that just give me vibes or things to think about. and to reiterate i absolutely love transsexual subtext. but i also love it when characters in genre fiction actually put hormones in their bodies sometimes or otherwise live transsexually in settings where that isn't possible with whatever it takes. but the final thing, and this is the most crucial, is that i also don't want any of these literally transsexual characters in genre fiction to ever talk like they know what a BLÅHAJ is.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Hey! I was just wondering what your thoughts on Janeway x Seven were? (Love your content btw, it makes me happy)

Janeway/Seven Aesthetics, Themes: God & Her Angel. Creator and Creation -> Monster Movie, It's Alive!, Works of Art. Overbearing expectation. Overwhelming conditional love. "I'd die for you, I'd do anything for you" and meaning it. Requited but Unconsummated love (to 'consummate' here has no sexual connotation but a sense of being 'complete'). Unexpressed but constant pressure. Biting the hand that feeds you. Being keenly observed. A Certain Type of Control being mistaken for care. "I know what's best for you". The lofty and the ungraspable. Teacher/Student. Ant vs Machine. Sad old timey people in photographs standing too far away to see their faces. Telling someone to 'run' while holding the scruff of their neck. Womanhood and Personhood as idealized concepts. Womanhood and Personhood as performance. Hypocrisy. Benevolent[?] Gods are still Gods in the end. Idealization of the other until they can only disappoint or awe you <- Inability to truly see eye-to-eye. Mother/Father Issues. Power Imbalance. Victorian era. The 20's. Perfection and the yearning for it. It's difficult to love someone who means and is so much to you. Who is no longer another person but a complex web of identities that sometimes clash or contradict one another.

I like Janeway/Seven but only in a very specific way! I feel like most of the ways I see it are too boring for me personally to be invested. In my mind it's a relationship that would never actually come to pass (Janeway would ultimately not allow it even if she encouraged it - mixed signals) but which would take up a large portion of both of their minds and lives. Janeway is Everything to Seven. She's her worst enemy and the love of her life and she killed her and she gave her new life and she's the reason for all her suffering, all her joy. Infuriating and exhilarating. Deeply confusing. Janeway meanwhile sees Seven as a poor little thing, as dangerous, as a work of art, as herself, as something that can be MORE than what she is now, as an attractive woman, a child, her friend, her subordinate, a concept, an ingenue, a genius etc. Are you trying to make me A woman or Your woman? Am I a human before that? Am I a person first or your subordinate first? If you're nothing like the Borg why does this feel so familiar? [Receiving orders and carrying them out, bending to your will eventually even if we bicker beforehand.] "You're free to do what you want, Seven." [Within reason.] "You don't have to obey anyone, Seven." [Except me.] "This is your life, Seven. Your identity to do what you want with." [Except when I don't agree.] Seven: I don't want this. Janeway: You don't know what you want. Seven: I don't like this. Janeway: You will, eventually. Seven: What if I want to do something else? Janeway: You won't. It's what you are, don't resist it. / Resistance is futile. Janeway says that Seven can do as she pleases but as the captain of a starship she cannot actually allow that. And as a person who has a history of strong moral opinions on what is right and wrong (and a further history of asserting these opinions as factual, rules, and to be adhered to by others) she probably wouldn't have been the best person to explore one's humanity with even if they had been equals in regards to rank. I don't mean to make Janeway a villain in saying this, I earnestly think it's a very interesting facet of her personality. Flaws build character and Janeway has a tendency to impose very high standards for herself and those around her. Whatever Seven did and does would be taken by Janeway as a reflection of herself in my mind. Seven the person exists because Janeway gave her life, after all. This is inescapable v_v No matter how far Seven strays from Janeway's original vision of/for her - she will always be in the shadow of it. It's a debt that can never be repaid and not because Janeway desires to hold it above her head (she explicitly would NOT) - it's just the nature of the thing. The situation might not be ideal but damn sure someone or something's gonna be idealized. So conclusion I very much like Seven/Janeway but only in a specific way which makes most content for it not really my thing..hEHEHE. The worst predicament.

[venture-through-the-mist]

Tennotober 2024

My collection of works based on the Tennotober 2024 prompts.

Hi all! I wanted to take part in Tennotober 2024, but I also knew that I wouldn’t be able to draw 31 art pieces, so I’m doing some fics instead!

The Warframe Tennotober 2024 Prompt List can be found here: https://forums.warframe.com/topic/1412660-official-tennotober-2024-megathread/

Day 22: Arcade: The Purpose Of Pinball

Drifter Lēna finds herself curious about what Amir does in his spare time. He’s quite content to share it with her.

TW: None for this chapter.

With that out of the way, the fic begins under the cut.

“So, what’s the purpose of these, exactly?” For a moment, she wonders if he doesn’t hear her as he continues to dart between the consoles, spending a few moments at one before switching to another, then back again. The Drifter is about to repeat her question, when she hears his voice above the odd sounds emanating from the machines.

“They’re fun. Plus, there isn’t really much to do unless we’re on missions or something needs to be fixed. Actually…Arthur mentioned one of the security cameras is acting weird again…I should probably take a look at that.” The subject change doesn’t phase her, though despite his realization, the technician doesn’t turn his attention away from the blinking screens. 

“Fun, hm? And no one else has an issue with it?” The rest of the Hex seem quite focused on the task at hand, for the most part. They all have their quirks, but many of them spend their time honing their skills, or taking part in target practice or…whatever it is Lettie does to sharpen her medic knowledge. Amir continues to dash between consoles at an almost dizzying speed, but he does reply, a touch of defensiveness in his voice.

“Not really. Pretty sure they know that the alternative is me tearing apart half the tech in this mall just to see how it works. I work just as much as the rest of them anyways.” Lēna raises her hands in surrender, realizing that she’s inadvertently said something wrong—damn her abysmal interpersonal skills, she thinks—, and rushes to correct herself, her words coming somewhat awkwardly.

“I didn’t…Sorry, I wasn’t trying to say that you don’t. I’m just curious, is all. Where I’m from, we don’t really get a lot of opportunities to just do things for fun.” Come to think of it, what has she ever done that was actually for her own enjoyment—and wasn’t just her being reckless? Certainly nothing in Duviri fits the bill, especially considering that she was running for her life for most of her time there. The closest she’s come, the Drifter realizes, is spending time with Mag, and even then, there’s usually some serious undertone.

Especially recently.

“Do you want to give it a try?” She’s so focused on her thoughts that she nearly forgets about the other being in the room until he poses a question. Lēna tilts her head—not that he sees it, his gaze is fixed firmly on the screens in front of him—, considering it.

“You sure? I don’t want to break it or something.” She hears a noncommittal huff from the other.

“You won’t. C’mon, give it a go. It’s getting boring having no one to compete against for the high score.” The Drifter smirks, moving towards one of the larger consoles. She watches Amir for a moment, noticing how he presses the buttons on the side of the machine in quick succession, each button seeming to control small levers which he uses to control the movement of a small, metal ball within the machine. He must pick up on her intrigue, because he touches the identical console next to it, sending a jolt of electricity through the machine and causing it to come alive with colorful flashes of light. She moves to stand in front of it, pulling on the knob that shoots the metal ball into the body of the machine. 

It can’t be that hard, right?

She quickly realizes that timing is important, as is figuring out how to aim the ball towards the glowing sections when the levers hit it. She groans in frustration when the ball rolls through the middle of the machine, where the levers cannot reach. The loss simply spurs her on, though, and she tries again, using the knowledge that she’s gained to better her score. She spares a glance at the other machine, and her eyes widen when she catches a look at Amir’s score.

How the fuck is it so high?

The Drifter supposes she can’t really be surprised, but she still finds it difficult to grasp just how much time the man must’ve spent playing these games. She can understand the appeal though, she realizes as her focus hones in on the sphere, on the flashing lights in the machine in front of her.

“Heh, not bad!” Amir’s voice cuts through her concentration and she hits the wrong button, causing her to lose the ball. Lēna curses under her breath, though the smirk remains stubbornly on her face. It only grows as she teases the other.

“Guess I’m just a natural. You better watch that score of yours.” Her confidence—cockiness, she begrudgingly corrects herself—causes Amir to chuckle, though he still doesn’t slow down. She launches another ball, restarting her game.

Eventually, Lēna makes it a habit to spend time playing these games with Amir, much to the chagrin of three of the other members of the Hex. Aoi and Eleanor don’t seem to mind though, the two of them often encouraging their teasing banter.

If the Drifter had to hazard a guess, she’d suspect that the others don’t really mind it either.

[mirror-to-the-past]

Hi. Boom. Here's long assorted sleep deprived thoughts I'm gonna be face palming at later about my current KH3 impressions.

Finished Olympus, Corona, now I'm on Toy Box.

PUNTING DONALD INTO ORBIT. And low key, Goofy, too. Like, on one hand, they're just Some Guys and also cartoon characters that make me giggle every cutscene they're in and they just try to lighten the mood or whatever. On the other hand, narratively, NOBODY is getting off Sora's case oh my god. Like, they've teased him before but it feels much more frequent and pointed this game towards the things Sora is insecure about. "Haha, you know Sora, our forgetful, stupid, careless, rash, powerless, weak, codependent idiot! We love him. <3" (exaggerated for comedy but they really don't stop with the punches and it's so uncalled for lol) And he either takes it or lightly goes "hey..." half the time. Donald keeps talking shit, Goofy just lets it happen and whenever there's actually disputes where Sora sasses back a 'lil then he steps in and it gives off vibes of "now don't make your mother angry." They're questionable guardian figures. Rehoming Sora to Supportive Dad Mickey Mouse real quick out of saltiness. That said, Goofy kind of laying a steadying hand on Sora on the Trinity Sled and when he was upset about Eugene's "death" in Corona is sweet.

The face of someone doing completely well who says "I can take it" twice in a row just to prove how well he's doing:

Bestie. You're fifteen years old and running around in a world where tripping acid on identity issues, amnesia, and listening to vague monologues from strange predatory darkness men is another Tuesday.

Sora keeps spacing out and giving thousand yard stares especially throughout this game, and when Ienzo told him "yeah, your heart's not entirely yours!" And Sora just stared blankly at the phone like "figures." I just laughed, lol. He's just constantly pivoting between being occupied by and amazed by the Wonder™ of the world/absorbed by the hype of meeting new people and the Horrors™ presented by the constant tumult of foreign emotions and memories running through his little head, clearly to such a degree that it's no surprise to be told that there's whole fuckin people within him. Teenage experience, honestly. Love coming of age narratives that are just crazy fucking magic bs manifesting in dissociation central. What a guy.

I was in tears laughing when Sora was hearing voices in Twilight Town and thought Hayner and co. were those same voices for a sec and very enthusiastically, as though to prove himself went: "See?? :DDD Voices!" SORA, HONEY.

In other news of AAA-

Way to the Dawn just fucking broke? Why was everyone so calm? Am I missing something? Riku's like "aha gives me an excuse to skill up and get a better one-" child, I am gripping you by the shoulders. This blade is manifested as an extension of your heart, they don't just BREAK. Should I be concerned about the integrity of your soul, brother?

THE SCENE WITH KAIRI AND LEA/AXEL WAS SO SWEET, I WANT MORE OF THEM. NEED MORE OF THEM, ACTUALLY. When Kairi was like ":3 hehe I'm gonna beat your ass in the ring," and when he started CRYING because he caught a glimpse of Xion in her. 😭 Her letter to Sora was so fucking sad I am heartbroken how she becomes more alienated from her friends as time goes on. She went from sending the letter as a waypoint in KH2, like "please come back, here I am" to "you know where I am, but I'm still here talking to myself anyway." I. 👏 NEED. 👏 CLOSURE. 👏 Preferably for Kairi with both Sora and Riku, but they'll probably do just Sora but I dunno I don't want to get my hopes up or down. I just... I dunno, even if things aren't necessarily the same with all of them, I'd just like there to be something affirming where they stand because like even though the care they have for each other is obviously there, you can see it with all three of them in KH1 and KH2 (drives me up the walls bonkers when Riku shielded her with his body and Sora caught her when they were flashbanged), it's also like that feeling of a dwindling group chat kind of scenario. "That's right, no more waiting for you to come back from your adventures..." Props to VA that line was delivered so laden with hollowness. I hold Kairi in hands. Devastated.

THE FOCUS ON SAVING ROXAS HAS ME EXCITED. THAT IS ALL. I WAS YELLING AT SCREEN FOR FOREVER LIKE "USE A REPLICA" and then Riku finally was like "🤔✨...Replica?" And I went and mentally hoisted him onto my shoulders for a little "hip hip hooray" because the dots are connecting with the characters, fellas. I might see at least one of my peoples, soon.

Riku's VA just sounds like he's given up for this game and it's killing me, lol. Voice direction just hasn't been in his favor so far.

Mickey Mouse and Riku bonding time in hell. Riku's like "wow, mouse dad, I feel less riddled with self doubt these days. It's pretty nice to feel like a go-getter, haha, wonder why tho?" And Mickey Mouse is like... "Well... 🏳️‍🌈...! :D" Riku goes: "🤔... 🏳️‍🌈👍." strength to protect what matters And then that's that. Back to reconnaissance mission for lost veteran. Cinematic perfection.

Sora is still a certified Disney princess, if anyone's curious. He got his dance number in for this game, and he had birds gently circle around him and land on his finger.

Marluxia: "Ah yes, we finally reunite." Sora: "who"

I still can't tell if anyone has debriefed Sora, Donald, and Goofy about what happened in Castle Oblivion yet in any way. I'm wondering why they're (writers) playing that particular plot line so close to their chest.

Adorable how well Sora and Rapunzel got along. While Sora is a friend to all and shit it's really sweet seeing how he still seems to have bonds where he personally clicks with some characters more than others. And all for good reasons- like matching with his traits. I imagine him, Rapunzel, Ariel, and Hercules get brunch at the Bistro now, and no one can take this from me. Also Hercules is such a Sora hypeman, cheering him on even when he's getting crushed by a building. He passes the vibe check 100%.

I manifested my gag attack concept from my BBS post halfway into being and I'm so happy about it, lol. Thank you Hercules from hit movie Hercules for swinging Sora around in a circle like a broadsword in your special attack. I think more people should use him as a broadsword for enrichment reasons.

THEY CUT OUT THE SNUGGLY DUCKLING FROM TANGLED. SO MUCH POTENTIAL HAS BEEN LOST FROM CANON. I WILL NEVER RECOVER.

"how do I get power of waking when it didn't work the normal way Hercules," "idk Sora maybe you've got to be in love like I am," "well shit. guess I should get me some of that love superpower. Oh btw how come happily married Mickey Mouse and my best friend Riku are the only dudes that have the power of waking I'm confused," "...idk Sora" "okay, bye herc" (can you see my sleep deprivation leaking yet, I'm connecting the dots though, I promise, trust my methods 🤣)

IT TOOK ME 7 TRIES TO CRACK A FUCKING EGG. Remy Ratatouille looks at me like a disappointed father

Weaponized amusement park ride powers are so badass actually. I love the teacups and wish I could inflict them on my enemies, too.

Sora now has GUN. "Shooting" Star, indeed.

Sora and Rapunzel splashing in da water. 💦🥰 So cute.

WHY DID THEY PUT THEIR WHOLE ASS INTO THE FAKE VIDEO GAME TRAILER IT LOOKED SO SICK. I was so confused though I saw the dude and was like... Riku?? Wtf you're HD, my guy! Wait, you've got heterochromia and are chasing after a girl, mistook you for someone else, my bad.

There is a dog on my gummi ship roof and he will stay there until I finish the game.

Twilight Town is gorgeous and I now know the answer for "if I could pick a video game place to live" that's not just Stardew or Pokemon or something.

"I can't computer so... do that." Me too, Sora. Helping him learn his phone by having him take a ton of pictures, though. I'd like to imagine he sends them to his buddies or is excited to show them later or something. That would be so <3

The Kingdom Hearts social media posts are so funny to me for some reason btw. You get surreal shit like Riku pain-posting "I wonder if I'm the reason Ansem looks the way he does :/" and. The sideway frown just sent me. No, I can't explain why. Just comedy gold. "Mfw when possession :/" "sometimes I think about when my friend was in a coma for a year :/" "y'know I wonder what my family felt when my home was overcome with darkness because of me. Did it hurt? Were they afraid? Well they're back now but I wonder that sometimes. :/"

Maleficent is me trying to track down Luxu and shake him for answers. I don't even care if it's bad she finds it, I need to know what's in the damn box.

Buzz Lightyear going "this plot sounds ridiculous and absurd. Of course you're acting like this is normal, pitiful JRPG character." Sora: ":'D"

GET IN THE ROBOT, SORA.

[let-me-take-your-soul]

Hurt/Comfort Kid just like basically whatever you want! You choose! Be your OWN request.

Lmaooo! I have become my own request! Thank you for the suggestion!

Kid's first meeting with Liz and Patty (hurt/comfort)

    Building relationships was difficult, and for the most part, Kid didn’t really understand the point of close friendships. It wasn’t necessarily for a lack of trying, but people seemed to be put off by his status as Lord Death’s son or his mannerisms. After a young childhood of clinging to his father who had desperately tried to build his son’s social skills, Lord Death eventually had to put that concern on the back burner, hoping that eventually Kid would be able to find someone on his own who accepted him.

    Still, work had to be done, and Kid had to learn about the roles of being a reaper. Lord Death had sent him on a trip to Brooklyn to scope out some information for the academy. Kid had been traveling alone, and the intense individualism of the city was starting to hit him. Even though he had struggles with creating strong friendships like he had seen in books and movies, the people in Death City were at least friendly. His time in Brooklyn was proving to be extra lonesome and people were outwardly rude to him about his quirks.

    On the one hand, he appreciated that people didn’t seem to walk on eggshells with the knowledge of who his father was, but interacting with others was beginning to feel particularly isolating. He strolled through the city as daytime turned to night. Still on the hunt for information and feeling discouraged at the lack of cooperation from others, he was thinking of throwing in the towel and going back home to his father.

    As he walked past a dark alleyway, he heard a commotion coming from the area further down its path. Curious to see if a stray kishin egg was nearby, he made his way through the dark path and came upon a rather violent scene. At first he only saw a large group of men clad in dark clothing, until he heard the voices of two girls from an area outside his vision. Continuously intrigued, he snuck to a higher ground to get a better view of the situation. He had found the source of the voices he couldn’t see before. 

    There were two girls surrounded by the men who appeared to be a bit rough around the edges, standing strong and calm, almost amused, against the group of men who seemed to be ready to pounce at a moment's notice. Kid watched, wondering if he should step in. He almost walked away when he heard the bang of a gunshot. He whipped around to see that one of the girls had turned into a gun and the two were holding their own against the group with no issues. He almost walked away again when he saw what would end up as a life changing moment for him.

The one girl who had turned into a gun turned back into her human form, only for the other girl to transform into an identical gun. His heart began to pound excitedly. His father had been relentlessly trying to find an elegant weapon partner for Kid, but there was always something off about the partners he had presented. This moment was when Kid saw what seemed to be missing from the other partners. It wasn't just that having them as partners would follow the ideal symmetry Kid desired, but it was what he gathered from their personalities as well. 

The two of them were bold, they had no issues relying on each other just as weapons and they weren't trying to sugarcoat anything during their fight. It made him feel hopeful- maybe if he reached out to them, maybe those two could accept him. Maybe they wouldn't feel as if they were walking on eggshells while they were with him. Maybe they could treat him like a normal person even though he knew he wasn't.

After a moment's hesitation, he jumped in, taking out the remaining attackers. As the chaos cleared, the two girls met his gaze, confused and impressed at the sight of him. 

"Who the hell do you think you are?" The older of the girls asked.

"My name is Death the Kid. Kid for short. I have a proposition for you two."

The two watch him skeptically as he explains who he is and how he wants them to come back to the DWMA with him. 

"You're certainly bold asking us to come with you. What's the catch, huh?" The older girl asks.

"Nothing at all, I'm being fully transparent. If you come back to the academy with me and agree to be my weapons, you'll be provided with a more comfortable life. Food, shelter, whatever you need."

The two girls look at each other and back to Kid.

"And why us?" The younger girl asks.

"I saw you fight. You're twin pistols, right? I have an affinity for symmetry, you know. More than that however, I see a deep potential for you both. I think we'd work well with each other."

Kid pauses, unsure of how much further to take his convincing.

"I won't force you to come with me, but if you're interested, I'll be at the library tomorrow searching for some information right at opening, 7am. Meet me there in the archives and we can test the waters."

He turns, walking off and returning to the hotel room his father had set up for him, wondering if he had made an impression on them like they did on him. 

.

.

.

Sure enough, the next morning at 7am, Kid was walking up the stairs to the library's entrance.

"Okay Kid," a voice calls out. He turns to the source and sees one of the girls from last night. "We thought about it. You let us know what you're looking for and if this works out, we'll consider coming back with you."

Kid gives them a grin.

"Perfect. Now, since we'll be working together for this, what should I call you two?"

"I'm Patty, and that's my big sis Liz. Now, you better not pull any shit with us, mister. We're not afraid to go on the offensive," the younger girl with shorter hair tells him, her voice shockingly cute and unseeming for the harsh tone she was giving him.

Kid nods, "Of course. I don't blame you for being wary. I'll do my best to gain your trust."

He fills the two of them in on reports of a kishin egg in the area and how the people around the city weren't being too cooperative, so he had decided to see if he could find any leads using newspaper reports. The two girls groaned at this. 

"Okay, I see why you're struggling with this. Your presence ain't shit honestly. If you're gonna dress and look the way you do, you need a voice to back it up. Take us to your first lead, we'll get the information you want," Liz tells him.

Kid raises a brow at this but agrees. He leads the sisters to a back-alley store he had gone to yesterday, leading the way in.

When the man behind the counter sees him, he rolls his eyes. 

"Look dude, I told you yesterday, I don't have-" he freezes as he notices the two girls standing behind Kid. 

"You say you don't know anything, huh? I call bullshit, how about you Patty?" Liz says, her voice sickeningly sweet, but her aura brimming with malice.

"Uh-huh. I think this guy is lying to you Kid. I don't like liars," Patty replies. 

The two approach the counter and the guy backs up a bit.

"O-okay, fine! What do you need to know? I don't want any trouble!" 

"Kid, what was it you were looking for?"

"I'm looking for the whereabouts of a kishin egg. Do you know anyone who's been more violent lately? Particularly someone who wants to get more powerful by eating human souls?"

"Well, I don't know about any of that 'eating human souls' crap but… my boss. He's been acting really sketchy lately- hasn't been coming in much and when he does he's been weirdly strong and threatening. He used to be real scrawny, but now he's way beefy. He's only been claiming to work out for a month! There's no way he's built that much muscle that fast." 

"Mhmmmm, and where can we find your boss, huh?" Patty asks.

"He lives in the apartments down the street. I think his apartment number is 712" 

"Awww, see? Wasn't that easy?" Liz says condescendingly.

The man nods nervously, and Kid turns around, leaving the building with Liz and Patty in tow.

The three of them make their way to the apartment and begin to plan as they walk.

"Now, since we may have to fight, I want to see how well the two of you work with me as a meister for you. If things go south, we can change the plan, but let's go in guns blazing okay?" Kid tells them.

"I can get behind that. Can't turn down a good fight!" 

As they approach the building, Kid gives them a signal and the two girls assume their gun forms. Starting off by holding them normally, Kid pauses.

"What's wrong dude, shouldn't we get in there before he decides to move?" 

"Yes… but this feels wrong." He says, as he holds the two of them in front of him. 

"Maybe if I switch hands with them…? No… Aiming sideways…? ….No…" he mumbles to himself.

"What the hell are you doing? Just pick a way to hold us and move, dammit!" Patty screeches at him.

"Just wait!" He yells back. "Aha, I've got it!"

Giving the two of them a good spin, he grasps them both, pinkies near the triggers as they're held upside down. 

"That's better." He says as he enters the building. 

The two girls stare in disbelief as he happily saunters his way to the apartment building. 

Once they reach the correct apartment number, Kid wastes no time shooting the door down and jumping in. Immediately he's jumped by the kishin egg he'd been searching for and satisfaction settles in-

It's immediately apparent as the trio fights together. They're perfect for each other. Kid never realized it before, how powerful a soul connection could be, but as the three took down this kishin, he felt it- a connection that hadn't been there before- and he knew that these girls were going to be a big part of his life for a long time.

[theninthdoor]

Can u do a red velvet friendship dynamic reading?

please keep in mind that just because these people are in the same group doesn't mean that they are bffs who will spend the rest of their lives together. if you want my take on this: the feeling I got was that they have gone through many changes and challenges together, and are finally growing up and growing out of the boxes they were put in when they became a group. there's nothing wrong with that, imo. but, of course, to outsiders it might look a lot more dramatic and negative than what it truly is like in real life.

Dynamic || seven of wands, hanged man rx, ten of swords, three of pentacles rx: So- 2 main messages here: 1) they're currently at a point where all (or, at least, most) of the members are quite sure of themselves and of the path they want to take with their careers. It feels like they're all pushing to get their way; pushing to be heard. If previously they were more willing to listen to other people's opinions and sacrifice their own visions/wishes, they're over it already. Working as a team may not be as easy as it once was, but it's really all about their (un)willingness to see things from the others' perspectives instead of focusing so much on their own. And, 2) it's be so long already that they feel like they can let themselves go. What I mean is- do you know when in relationships, after some time, people stop caring so much about how they dress or how they act, text messages get shorter and less lovey-dovey, dates get more lowkey, etc? That's basically what I'm seeing… they're not putting in the same type of effort they once were, which results in them feeling disconnected from each other. Everybody's just like "whatever"; not asking how the other's day was or asking them out for a meal after their schedules. Honestly, it just feels like they need to find a new purpose or common goal as a group once again… Work brought them together, but also isolated them.

|| Individual members (where they stand/how they're feeling/what they're giving):

Irene || ten of swords, five of pentacles rx: She's absolutely exhausted. I do feel like there's still a bit of hope that things will magically get better, but it won't be due to her efforts. At this point, she's accepting whatever comes her way, with no expectations or big wishes. She's also not asking for more because she honestly feels like there's too many factors at play here and a looot would have to change. It's like "yeah, I'm accepting less than what I think we/I deserve or could do, but the fight is not even worth it anymore". She's just silently letting things play out, really. Out of all, I'd say she's the one who's most aware of how much they have changed over the years and how the journey has worn them down as friends and co-workers.

Seulgi || page of swords, strength rx: One of the members who tries to stay in contact with the other as often as they can. She likes knowing what they're up to and what their plans are, even if they aren't super close or spend a lot of time together. However, she's still feeling a little disconnected. The group doesn't feel as stable or "safe" as it once did, and so she's detaching herself before it all crumbles and hurts her feelings. In the past, she might've been overly depend on the group, so I do think it's wise for her to build stronger boundaries and a personal identity that doesn't rely so much of being a RV member. Once she lays a solid foundation for herself, she might be able to connect with them once again.

Wendy || lovers, star rx: She still feels super connected to them and cares a lot about the group and the members (as individuals/friends). She might even try to get them all to meet up often or stay in contact as frequently as possible. Wendy really doesn't want to lose these connections, no matter what they group's future looks like. Also, she might go as far as avoiding bringing up her own issues and worries in order to keep things light - as in, she doesn't want to feed into the pessimism and exhaustion that they are already feeling, so the light won't completely go out.

Joy || ten of wands, chariot rx: She does put in the effort, but it feels more like a duty or a burden rather than something that she truly wants or is passionate about. I do see her looking back at their achievements and being very proud, though. I really do think she's proud of the RV name and work, and that's what's keeping her engaged. However, she doesn't hold strong goals or dreams anymore when it comes to the group… at this point, it's just something that she accepted as part of her life and that she has to play her part in when she's asked. It is more work oriented, but if anyone needs her, they can count on her, for sure! She's very, very loyal - I'll tell you that much.

Yeri || queen of wands, lovers rx: Yeri feels like she has finally found her footing as an individual and/or artist after spending so many years carrying the label of "RV's maknae". She's feeling confident, enthusiastic, ready to explore her creativity; going solo or standing out on her own might not seem as scary to her as before. So, all in all, she did separate herself from the group a little, but it was for the best. However, I must say: she has to be careful not to come off as too selfish or demanding now that she's finally found her voice within the group (and personally).

(Disclaimer: all readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Okay, I’ve had slightly more time to think, and I have an update to this post, with slightly more to say about the Grace Petrie comedy show. It was really, really good. From a technical/structural perspective, from the delivery (she might be new to writing a comedy hour, but it really, really comes through how very experienced she is at performing on stage), from a pure laugh rate perspective, and as I said in this initial post I wrote when I had just finished and could barely express myself, from an emotional perspective. I watched this show at night after a very long day at work, alone in the house where I’m housesitting for the first lesbian couple to get married in our city after it was legalized 20 years ago, with their cats on my lap, and it absolutely messed me up. Normally if I say a comedy show (or any show) made me cry, I only mean a little bit. Not so much with this one.

But, okay. For one moment I will try to analyze it like the piece of work it is, and I can say it wasn’t perfect. There were a few points that she brought up and then never fully explored. On a couple of them, she said “I don’t know the answer to that – it’s just a difficult situation”, which I understand. I don’t blame her for not coming up with the right answer. But I think she could have gone a little further into analyzing the issue, once she’d brought it up.

Any time I criticize any type of show for not spending enough time on something, I feel like it’s only fair to see if I can tell what I would cut in order to make room for that, because these things work on a time limit and they couldn’t add without taking something else out. I do think there were times when she made the same point a few more times than she had to, and maybe in a perfect show, she could have cut down the times she repeated the same point in different ways, and used that to explore some of the other issues further. Maybe that is a sign of how she’s never written a full stand-up hour before, maybe a more experienced writer of this specific format of show would have done a better job of editing, come out with something a tighter with fewer loose ends.

Okay, that’s all I’ve got in terms of things to criticize. I really do have trouble seeing this show as just another piece of work to analyze, even though, as I said in the previous bit of this post, I know that’s great. Grace Petrie is an artist who deserves to have her work critically analyzed like anyone else, and I see what she means when she says she wants proper music and/or comedy fans to come see her and judge her work, as much as she also made it clear that she appreciates the diehard fans who just agree with her so much that they’ll love whatever she does. I understand that, and if she made something shit even if I agreed with it, I wouldn’t love it. I have seen shows by people I agree with, by people I relate to, that I’ve thought were nice and maybe likeable but just not that good. This really wasn’t that. It was good. I found some nitpicky criticisms just now, but it was really good. It was well written and well delivered and there was a joke in there about Mario that’s still going around in my brain.

It's hard to be too critical of Grace Petrie’s show because there just isn’t much basis for comparison. If there were 100 comedy shows about butch lesbian identity out there, I could write about how Grace Petrie’s show stacks up against the others. But there aren’t. There are some, and there have been others I’ve really liked. But none that I’ve liked nearly as much as this. One thing that really impresses me about Grace Petrie’s music is the amount of nuance that she manages to get into fairly short songs. I mean, they’re average-length songs, but songs are short compared to most pieces of writing. Grace Petrie can cover three or four different perspectives on an issue in three or four minutes, packing each line with caveats and acknowledgement of conflicting ideas even though a lot of people struggle to get all that into far more words than she uses. I think this is the best example of that:

Given what she can do in a few minutes with a song, I was looking forward to seeing how many perspectives she could balance in an hour-long show, and I wasn’t disappointed. She could have just done a “fuck those horrible people” show, and she’d have been right and it would probably have been cathartic and good. But she got a lot deeper than that, trying to understand things, while keeping the laugh rate quite high considering how much else she was doing at the same time. It’s ridiculously nuanced, for a comedy show.

It’s intensely personal and intensely political, and ties those two things together tightly, and I always like a comedy hour that manages all those things at once. Grace Petrie does both those things at once so effortlessly, after years of learning the art of it by writing songs about socialism and also about falling in love with straight women.

And then there’s still the part I can’t judge as an objective piece of art, because it’s more than that to me. It made me think of when I was younger and this was all newer to me, and I was less aware that there’s lots of this out there, because all I’d really seen was my high school and TV and there sure weren’t any women like me in either of those places (well I guess I’d also seen my wrestling team and all the other teams we competed against, but surprisingly, far fewer butch women than you’d expect there either). This was also before my mother had given up on trying to shape me into what a girl was supposed to be, when we fought about it much more frequently. Oh, and obviously there was the whole “working out that I was gay” thing, that process took a few years.

I got really into a few different butch lesbian performers, it was a massive revelation they were the first people to tell me that being this is fine and in fact cool and good. My favourite was this Canadian writer named Ivan Coyote, I bought all their books and watched all their videos and read all their articles online. I’ve gotten to see them perform live twice. The second time, I got to meet them after the show, where they were signing books. When they saw me in my oversized jeans and men’s leather jacket and the hiking boots my mother was trying to get me to stop wearing, telling them I have all their books, they gave me a hug and told me they wrote the books for people like me.

In 2010, which was about the middle of the few years when I was really really into them (not that I don't like them anymore, there were just a few years when I was younger and read their stuff all the time), there was some article that they wrote for some publication or other called “My Name Is Ivan and You Can Call Me She”. It was about how they’d thought a lot about what pronouns they wanted, and had decided they wanted to continue being called “she/her”, because they were a woman, they were a butch lesbian woman. And they’d dropped their female-sounding birth name for the name Ivan, and they regularly get mistaken for a man in public and they like that fine, but they’re still a woman and want to be called she. They said a lot of it was because they often spoke in high schools, and they wanted the high school students there to see that woman could look and sound like them.

Somewhere along the line I realized that who I am and what I call myself might matter a whole lot to them. Because I want to stand up in front of a whole bunch of bodies coursing with newly minted hormones and prove to them that female bodies can look like just about anything their owners want them to. I want to stand up there and say, “That’s right, folks. Here I am. A big old freak with tattoos and muscles and boys’ pants and an AC/DC shirt. I look like a dude and you can call me Ivan. I am your principal’s worst nightmare come true. I am here to tell you that you can be whatever the fuck you can dream up. You can call me she, and I will call you whatever you want me to. I am a proud butch. If you want to know more about what that means, I will be happy to talk about it with you later, after we are finished sharing our song lyric–inspired poems with each other.”

You'll notice I have not, in fact, been using she/her pronouns for Ivan Coyote. A number of years later, they changed their mind, started identifying as non-binary, and changed their pronouns to they/them. And I have to admit, a tiny part of me felt a very, very small sense of loss. Because Ivan Coyote being a woman was representation that mattered to me, that women can be like that. And then I felt incredibly guilty for feeling that way, because obviously, the fact that someone has a job in the public eye doesn't mean they owe anyone anything, and someone else's gender identity has nothing to do with me and isn't for me to have an opinion about.

The only people I've ever heard talk about this before last week were horrible transphobes using that feeling to attack a vulnerable people and making me want to distance myself from them, which meant distancing myself from the labels that I'd found comfort in, one of gender non-conforming women. Grace Petrie is the first person I've heard talk about feeling without being horrible about it, saying in this show how she felt that way, briefly, when Elliott Page came out, but also knew other people's identities are not for her. God, it was incredibly validating and comforting to hear someone talk about this stuff without being a bigot, to remind me that butch lesbian is not an inherently bigoted identity, no matter how much some of their loudest representatives try to pretend it is. Shouting "stop silencing lesbians" when they mean "stop silencing transphobes", because for some fucking reason they think the best way to protect lesbians is to tell people that those words mean the same thing.

I've found this so upsetting (as I said in another post recently - I am very aware that I, as a cis woman, am not the actual victim of TERFs, I'm just giving my own experience), for years, seeing what should be my own people weaponize the identities that I spent so many years struggling to accept and then love about myself, making me want to distance myself from those identities for the first time since I was young, and I've never heard anyone talk about it that way until I saw Grace Petrie do a show that ends with (spoiler alert, I guess, spoiler alert for this whole post and all my posts all the time) "I didn't work for 36 years to be happy with myself, and to be happy with butchness, and all of the complicated, beautiful things that that word means in my life to let that word become synonymous with bigotry."

...Like I said in the previous post, if you haven't seen it and want to, send me a message. It's really really good. And I swear it is really funny, even if that doesn't particularly come across in this post. The Mario joke was great. It's your classic Edinburgh hour, funny but also with an Important Theme and Message and Touching Heartwarming Parts and a Sad Part at the end, and yeah people rightfully make jokes about that type of show and how it can be done in a trite way, but I do love that shit when it's done well. This is done well.

[rosiewitchescottage]

Aaaand here we are again. 🙄

Another person has blocked me on the quite mistaken assumption that I am a TERF. (Whatever that even means these days.)

Do I look like any kind of feminist? Let alone a RadFem? 🙄

I'm Pro Women and I'm Pro Men. I don't need a label for that.

I wouldn't mind. But the post in question wasn't even remotely related to the subject.

Someone had asked the question

'Are The British Real?'

I'm British (surprise, surprise ehh? 😁🇬🇧)

And I found it absolutely hilarious.

So I wanted to join in.

I joshed that we're just a figment of everyone's imagination, but that we believe in ourselves.

And that we really shouldn't be encouraged.

🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

Evidence for The Defence continues below.

I do NOT hate trans people.

I do adhere to the long standing definitions of Manhood and Womanhood that link them with the sexual biology of the body

Man = Male

Woman = Female.

Gender Dysphoria is absolutely real, and it continues with the theme of biological sex

You're Male. Your mind has a disorder that makes you unbearably ill at ease with your Maleness.

You know that Man = Male. So, you live as a Woman, to distance yourself (as much as is possible) from the Maleness of Manhood.

You're Female your mind has a disorder that makes you unbearably ill at ease with your Femaleness.

You know that Woman = Female. So you live as a Man, to distance yourself (as much as is possible) from the Femaleness of Womanhood.

I have zero issues with any of this.

In fact I feel nothing but compassion for anyone in the middle of a battle between his/her mind and the unchangeable sexual biology of the body.

I can't imagine the feeling of living completely as a woman. Whilst knowing that my genes, my bone structure, my body processes, are all biologically male. And I can't do anything to change them. Opposite wise for a trans man.

You won't hear me oppose anything that helps you live with this dilemma.

What I do oppose

Confusing and Abusing Children and Teens - Biological Sex is real. Aside from the above situation, which needs to be thoroughly diagnosed by a reputable and ethical medical professional, and then treated in the way that best suits each patient.

Boy to Man = Male

Girl to Woman = Female

I've no idea of the full range of potential causes for a child/teen to be going through an identity crisis.

But this is exactly why we should be allowing, nay insisting that medical professionals be required to do their job fully.

They shouldn't be just taking the word of a scared and confused child/teen at face value. What kind of help is that in the long run?

Their job is to question and question again, to look at and listen to every symptom. Then they should be using their trained expertise to help this vulnerable young person discover the root of this distress.

Once there, a solution can be looked for.

If throwing 'gender transition' at every poor, confused kid after a couple of hours chatting (if even that long), were the one and only solution. Then why are we seeing so many coming forward with heartbreaking detransition stories?

Some of these children/teens will be in the Autism Spectrum, which simply means needing to find out how to live with a brain that processes differently to other people. (My own beloved sons included amongst them.)

Some will be Same Sex Attracted (yes Same Sex) and needing to learn that this is absolutely fine.

Some will have suffered trauma of some kind, and they need help to heal from that. Not to have their young, healthy bodies artificially altered, for no good purpose.

Other potential causes? I leave those to the professionals who can help discover them.

But Gender Dysphoria is only one, rare cause amongst many , many potential alternatives.

If it's being a TERF to care about these young people's full well being. Then my conscience is clear.

**********************

Separating Womanhood and Manhood from biology.

I'm a woman. And the only thing that makes me a woman is my female biology. That's it .

A biologically female adult human. That is WHAT I am. Womanhood is my biological reality.

Who I am within that biological reality is entirely up to me.

I could be as ultra feminine as a 1950s housewife. I could be as ultra masculine as the butchest of lesbians. I could be so androgynous that my biological sex isn't immediately apparent.

I Would Be a Woman In Every Case

A man could be the most feminine of drag queens, he could be more masculine than The Rock and Jean Claude Van Damme combined. He could be so androgynous that his biological sex is not clear.

He Would Be A Man In Every Case.

Womanhood and Manhood are solid.

Masculinity and Femininity are completely flexible.

Woman or Man are our biological framework. Within those boundaries. Who we are in our individual selves is limitless.

You are absolutely free to disagree with me about all this. Go right ahead.

In fact I don't even object to you simply blocking me, without giving me a chance to reply.

All that tells me is that you have nothing solid and rational with with to counter what I'm saying.

[forgottenyear]

In the weekly phone call with the mother, I was talking about how my partner may be coming to the end of her current bout with whatever chemical imbalance sets her off in almost non-stop anger for months, around June of each year (and to a lesser extent, October). That she, my partner, was friendly again with the same friend she bordered on seething with hatred for just a few weeks ago. I mentioned that the friend usually does not put up with this kind of nonsense, but for whatever reason, she puts up with it from my partner.

As I as saying this, I remembered that my partner’s friend is lesbian, and this was probably the main attraction from my partner. But also, my partner’s friend may have some level of attraction for my partner. 

I do not decide my partner’s identity, but (the fatal “but”) she appears to be the only person who is convinced that she is strictly heteroromantic (she does not recognize the difference between heteroromantic and heterosexual, unfortunately). The fact that my partner was going out with Angela before fusion tends to raise a few questions about her attractions.

But I was talking with the mother and so I am glad I did not just blurt this out, as I nearly did.

--

If anyone is wondering, if my partner believed they would be happier with someone else, I would not stand in the way. I do caution my partner to think better about the idea, but only because her past dalliances have only ever ended good friendships with hard feelings. My persistence with my partner may give her the wrong idea of her own abilities in relationships. I do not think I am gawd’s gift to my partner, but I can take more than the average amount of abuse without responding, and forgiveness is rarely an issue from me because forgetting always is.

[dreamwreaver]

It's because insisting a platonic relationship (nevermind slotting found family members into nuclear family roles that's a whole other can of worms) is familial gives them a moral high ground when they come across ships they don't like.

I've seen it a million times "oh they're father and daughter" oh, "they're creepy uncle and niece" and I side eye those the hardest because 1. They often infantilize the female to an insulting degree and 2. If they think some of these depictions are how actual irl older male/"younger" female (Charlie is technically many hundred of years older chronologically but physically maybe about five years younger) I worry for their relationships.

Nothing about Alastor and Charlie's dynamic shows them as business partners, maybe he finds her charming and mildly amusing. And maybe she enjoys having someone to fulfill her whims instead of just shooting them down for being impractical. There's no care, there's a lot of creepy touching and invading of personal space especially on alastor's end. But one important thing to note is that he makes exceptions for Charlie that he doesn't really make for anyone else. Both Mimzy and Rosie had to wait for consent from Alastor before engaging him in hugs. Charlie finds out he's alive;l, throws herself at him in a hug and he allows it even though he hasn't given any consent like normal.

But because they don't have the excuse of "Charlie's a lesbian" because she isn't, and even if she was to end up with Alastor in canon it wouldn't detract from either character's established queer identity, they now resort to the "they're [insert familial dynamic here]" as a way to justify their bullying. And that's what it is: bullying. It's not enough to just say "I don't like the dynamic" and move on blocking any and all appropriate tags if it squicks them that much. Modern fandom has such a moralistic element to it, if you don't like something it must therefore mean that thing is fundamentally bad/sinful/immoral and therefore anyone who does like it is a bad person irl who is allowed to be treated poorly. And you know how I know this?

Valentino cosplayers have been bullied into apologizing for liking the character. And let me be clear in my distinction, he's a bad person, but a great character. He's not on screen a lot but you get what type of person he is instantly. His va? By all accounts one of the nicest people. He literally was told once that someone was afraid of meeting him because they worried he was going to be exactly like Valentino. Clearly we have forgotten that VA stands for voice ACTOR. An actor that acts with their voice. There is no distinction in a lot of people's minds that an actor can embody a role without condoning every single action that character takes. And the moralization where the goal posts are consistently moved in fandom for ships does not help matters.

I'm also gonna say this, modern fandom is unnecessarily hostile to straight passing ships. Even though nothing about charlastor makes Charlie any less bi or any less aroace because it's a passing guy and girl couple. People insist charlastor is platonic and father/daughter but the popularity of radioapple ironically undercuts their arguments. Because controversial take; radioapple is charlastor but gay. It's enemies to lovers gay charlastor. Because alastor's aroace identity doesn't seem to get as much defensive haters in that tag, nor does the fact that Lucifer has explicitly stated he likes girls and has banged both of Adam's wives. Nope! He's gay and in love with the radio demon. Even though Alastor cannot stand men by and large and hates Lucifer especially (likely due to his issues with his own father abandoning him young). But again, they moralize everything. They don't like charlastor for whatever reason they have, and honestly good for them! No one says you have to like them! But to be mean to others that do?

In the immortal words of sonic the hedgehog; that's no good

Whats with hh fans hating on charlastor saying that they are father and daughter like 😭😭😭😭😭

I think It's bc of a "Hell's greatest dad" song, but yeah, actually they have no media litracy if they think he was serious

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Halloween! Anything full metal alchemist?

Pretending to be a boy is the easy and obvious thing to do.

Mustang already thinks she is one - apparently the paperwork he'd found on her had only called her Ed and he'd decided that was short for Edward. It's not like there was anything feminine about her while she was lying in bed trying not to bleed to death.

The military might agree to take a twelve year old boy, but will never consider the same for a twelve year old girl. It's safer, too, for people not to know what she is.

"I don't like this, Sister," Al says as she transmutes a heavy coat to wear over her thick leather pants and chunky boots. She almost cuts her hair, but their father had long hair, and she's already lost two limbs. If her hair is what gives her away, then clearly she has bigger problems.

"Remember that it's Brother once we get on the train to central," she warns.

He can't make facial expressions anymore, but the mulishness to his silence is easy for her read. She's his big sister, after all. “It’s just until we get our bodies back, Al. It’s fine.”

“Won’t it bother you to be called a boy?” he asks. “It would bother me to be called a girl.”

Yes. “Not really. It’s just temporary, and you and Winry and Granny know. It’s fine.”

Eden isn’t looking forward to it, but her brother doesn’t have his body because of her. She has to fix this, and whatever it is she has to do in service of that is what she’ll do.

~

They get to Central and meet Mustang again and his office and Maes Hughes and his very nice wife and no one even bats an eyelash at calling her a boy, or when Al calls her Brother, or at referring to her as Edward. She can at least tell them she goes by Ed, which is true.

The physical that disqualified Al might be an issue except she’s twelve and they don’t ask her to take her boxers off. Standing there shirtless feels weird, even though her chest is completely flat, but they’re more interested in her automail than in questioning her gender.

She’s dubbed the Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, and the victory is bittersweet for more than one reason.

~

Sometimes, in the beginning, when they’re far from central she’ll take down her hair and transmute a dress and just go out and be a girl for a little bit. Soon, that becomes too risky, because she’s so well known, because Al makes her identity obvious.

Al stops calling her Sister except when they’re in a room alone and she tells herself it doesn’t bother her.

When she’s fourteen, the jokes about her voice not having dropped yet start at around the same time as she starts having to bind her chest to keep it looking flat. The baggy jacket worked for a while, but now she needs an extra step. She’s fifteen when she really starts to hate it, when her chest is large enough that flattening them constricts her movements and makes it so she can’t expand her lungs fully. It’s too much of liability. She wears a sports bra and gets a baggy tank top and saves the binding for when she has to report into Mustang.

Nearly three years of no one guessing anything and then they’re in Liore when Rose takes one look at her and says, “I thought the Fullmetal Alchemist was a boy?”

“I am a boy,” she says, but it comes out awkwardly, because she’s never had to say that before, never had to try and convince someone before. There’s a little spark of pleasure at Rose just looking at her and knowing, but it’s drowned out by the terror at the possibility of being found out.

Rose frowns, but then her face clears as an embarrassed flush rushes across her face. “Oh! I didn’t know that you were – uh, right. Sorry, I – yes, um, of course, you are definitely a boy. My apologies!”

Wait, that’s not what she – oh fuck, whatever. It amounts to the same thing, she supposes.

Then she’s too busy chasing after this fake priest and Rose is furious at her and Ed is pretty sure she’s going to get murdered by this whole town at one point, but it works out, more or less. The town is sort of a mess, but there’s no more fake priest offering false hope and false gods, so that has to be good, right?

Rose is tear stained and empty and she’d known that Ed was a girl. “Hey,” Ed says softly, “it’s going to be okay. You can rebuild.”

“Rebuild what?” she hiccups, trying to contain her sobs. “We’re in the middle of nowhere and no one cares about us and without those miracles, fake or not, people will be hungry!”

Fuck. This isn’t Ed’s problem. But she wants to help. She wants to help Rose, who’s nice, and pretty, and saw her. “What if there was a river around the city? Then you wouldn’t be in the middle of nowhere and you could grow something or catch fish, or whatever.”

“The river isn’t anywhere near here!” she shouts.

“It could be,” she says and now Rose is staring at her and Al is sighing.

She’s the Fullmetal Alchemist. What’s one river?

She and Al take the train to the nearest branch of the river, marking off what they’ll do on the map and debating circles and Al doesn’t say a word about this being a waste of time, but he wouldn’t. He’s usually the bleeding heart between them.

They buy two boats, split up to each take it to a bend in the river that almost no one uses, and get to work. It takes almost two weeks to push the new bit of the river near Liore and she meets Al in the middle, the two of them connecting the new river right outside of city gates.

They go back to Liore, to tell Rose and everyone else what they’ve done, and they find something they hadn’t expected.

That damn priest is back.

The ensuring fight nearly kills her and she was certain it actually would, but the strange creature literally slithers away from her rather than killing her. It at least proves to the people that that thing isn’t a prophet, although it does leave a large portion of the town destroyed.

They can rebuild closer to the river anyway.

Ed is broken and bruised and Rose is tending to her and she tries not to think how she’s going to write any of this up in a report.

“What’s the river called?” Rose asks as she checks on the stitches she’d made. She’s not as good as Winry, but she’s not bad either.

Ed bites her lip to distract herself from the pain of disinfectant on her wounds then says, “What? I don’t know. Whatever you want.”

“You made it,” she says stubbornly. “You should name it.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she insists, wincing as Rose rubs some sort of salve into her many bruises, sliding her hand beneath her sports bra to get the one that’s all along her side and her ribs. She’s probably broken at least one. Then, without thinking, “Eden. Call it the Eden River.”

Someone should at least get to use her name if she can’t.

Rose pauses, staring at her, and Ed looks down rather than meeting her gaze. “Ed,” she says gently, “please don’t take this the wrong way, and I promise I won’t ask again, but – are you a boy?”

She should say yes. Even though Rose had guessed right the first time, she should say yes, and protect the same secret she’s been protecting for the past four years.

But it’s been a really long couple of weeks.

“I’m what I have to be,” she says, shrugging even though it hurts.

Rose smiles at her, warm and pretty and ugh, why does she have to be so pretty? This is so unfair. “In this room, all you have to be is yourself, Eden.”

She can’t help but return Rose’s smile. She hasn’t been able to be herself in a long time.

~

Ed is sixteen and has just received a summons from Mustang, who apparently hadn’t been satisfied with her initial report of Liore and had finally tracked her down after months of dodging him to demand she return to Central, which is annoying as shit. She’s finally found some books that even sort of explain what that creature in Liore was, and now he wants her to come back? What a waste of time.

“Um, Sister,” Al says and Ed automatically looks around, but they’re completely alone in this corner of the library, “do you think, now that you’re enlistment age, that you might tell them truth?”

She stares. “Why would I do that?”

“Well, we haven’t been back in a long time, and you look a lot – especially this past year, you know?” She continues staring, because she does not know. “Most people see what they expect to see, but you might have to – I don’t know, do something, if you don’t want them getting suspicious.”

“Why would they be suspicious?” she demands, baffled.

Al groans and throws up his hands. “Because you’re older and you look like a girl, Sister! You’re not a kid anymore, and they’ve known us for years, and they pay attention to stuff.”

This is a serious problem that she has to deal with.

Which she’ll do as soon as she can make herself stop smiling.

[jennagrinsoverml]

hello, idk if you've done this yet, but do u know any good post reveal pre relationship fic recs? sorry if this request is kinda vague lol

General requests are easier than super specific ones lol so you don’t need to apologize for that! I have been meaning to do a PRPR rec list for a while now (and, not directed at you, anon, but yes, PRPR stands exclusively for post-reveal pre-relationship) so thanks for giving me the push to finally do it! (Sorry, I may have gotten a little carried away with this one, but it’s truly one of my favourite things to read.)

The Official Summer Buster Kiss List by @peachcitt

“You’d really be alright with kissing me?” he asked, and Marinette popped the cap of her dry-erase marker on and off.

“I mean, yeah,” she said, and they stared at each other for a moment. “Of course,” she hurried on, “you’d have to be alright with being my candidate. Teacher. Guide. Whatever.” She made a few empty gestures with the marker, and the loose cap flew off the end, bouncing off the wall and rolling off her desk.

Adrien caught it before it could fall to the floor, handing it back to her. “I am,” he said, looking her in the eye. “I’ll do it.”

or

a very simple four-point plan to tackle the issue of marinette's abysmal kissing life that turns into a six-point plan and also results in an outcome that literally no one could have predicted (sarcasm)

One-shot. They’re just so incredibly stupid (affectionate). The writing is gorgeous, the humour is spot on, and I loved all the little details of their lives with the passage of time. It’s so clear that they love each other, but as always, it takes them way too long to admit it haha.

Emergency Contact by @coffeebanana

When Marinette invites Adrien to live with her temporarily while she recovers from an injury, she thinks the hardest part is going to be hiding her feelings from him. But Adrien's idea of being helpful might go...a little overboard.

Post Shadow Moth defeat, Aged Up Characters, Read the Tags

Multi-chapter. This fic is just so real and messy and beautiful. The mutual pining is absolutely perfect! The backstory and how that impacts their current dynamic is so well woven through and adds another layer to their relationship. But also, I love the lack of perfection, that these are real people with real flaws and the way that all plays out. I absolutely love this fic!

rainwater and brown sugar by @aerequets

He knew they shouldn't do anything (whatever that 'anything' was). They couldn't. Not until they defeated Hawkmoth. Not until their relationship wouldn't get in the way of their work (or whatever other excuse they'd come up with over the course of three months). He knew all this. He knew.

But it was the raindrop that did it for him.

One-shot. It’s seriously unfair that someone who draws so beautifully should be able to write equally so. And yet. This is just so beautiful and SOFT and lovely. And then THAT KISS!!!!!

An Open Secret by @kasienda

Adrien whirled around toward Marinette. She smiled at him.

He couldn’t smile back. He stared at her like the dumb blond model that he was often accused of being.

Something shifted in her expression. And her warm open Marinette smile transformed into Ladybug’s grin. He was looking at Ladybug right now.

He knew Ladybug’s name!

Her name was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

And he couldn’t say anything! Not to Marinette! Not even to Plagg, who had confided two weeks prior that Master Fu was growing increasingly paranoid since the location of his home and hideout had been compromised. Their master had apparently decided that Chat Noir and Ladybug would have to give up their miraculouses if they ever discovered each other’s identities.

It wasn’t fair!

...

A fic where they both know, but can't openly talk about it.

Multi-chapter. I absolutely love the early reveal in this fic. I’ve read a lot of reveals, but this one is really fun and original! And then the premise of the fic itself isn’t one I’ve seen anywhere else, which makes it very different from the usual PRPR fare. Because even though they both know...they can’t actually talk about it. And it’s so interesting and different and sweet?

A little push by @emsylcatac

Alya asks Chat Noir to record a video of himself encouraging Marinette to confess...to Adrien.

Of course his mouth speaks on its own. Of course he says yes.

Of course his Lady is most likely sure to kill him.

...And of course Marinette feels like she's the one who's about to die.

One-shot. @emsylcatac‘s fics never go the way that I expect them to, and I really love that about her writing. Although this starts off really silly, the way Adrien expresses himself at the end wasn’t something I saw coming at all, even though it’s SO TRUE to his character. The pining and miscommunication is wonderful, but it’s the ending that really sells me on this one.

17 days, 2 hours and some odd minutes by @miabrown007

It has been 17 days, 2 hours and 14 minutes since Chat Noir flirted with Ladybug for the last time.

It has been exactly 17 days, 2 hours and 13 minutes since Adrien realized his very good friend and his best friend were, in fact, one and the same.

Consecutively, it has been exactly 17 days, 2 hours and 12 minutes since he constantly fought the insurmountable desire to kiss the said friend.

One-shot. The yearning in this fic is absolutely e x q u i s i t e . I love it when Adrien stops flirting post-reveal and Marinette takes it the wrong way. And they’re just SO STUPID here, and then they get to be adorable in love dorks.

the wonderful part of the mess that we made by heresie_irisee

They knew.

They knew, and there would be no magical reset button for the memories they'd made today. She'd have to see him at school every day, and she'd see the Chat in him, as surely as he'd see the Ladybug in her.

One-shot but a lengthy one-shot. How about some post-Oblivio fic that has the magical ladybugs NOT erase their memories of the fight (because lbr that made no sense anyway)? Oblivio is probably my favourite episode and this is such a great fic. The mutual pining is so, so, so good! Especially love Marinette struggling to assimilate Adrien’s identities and Adrien’s obliviousness.

The Boy She Loves by @goth-bias

Adrien just wants to know who Marinette has been in love with this entire time, but she refuses to budge. Accidentally reading a part of her diary, however, gives Adrien the answers he has been looking for.

One-shot. So you may not know this about me, but I’m absolute sucker for the trope of Adrien fixating on the boy Marinette loves post-reveal. (And tbf for him fixating on the boy Ladybug loves pre-reveal.) I love how well done the miscommunication is here, where their failure to confess makes sense and all of the tension naturally follows.

Make it clear by @amiraculousplatypus​

After years, the masks have fallen. Marinette and Adrien figure out what has changed. And what hasn't.

One-shot. This one is all about the yearning. And then Adrien’s beautiful honesty that pushes Marinette to finally do something. They’re both so in character and I love them so much!

White Lies Over White Nights by meirencollector

“Tell me, Marinette. The other boy, is it me?"

There’s something about the way he says it. The way his lips move. The way his eyes glaze at her. The way he looks at her as if she hung the moon and stars. The way there’s a warm glow when he's drawing close to touch. Even in this snowstorm, he was a ray of sunshine, and she was a sunburn.

One-shot. This one is really interesting because of both its device--a game of Truth or Drink--and its use of non-linear storytelling. Even though the fic is set post-reveal, we get all kinds of flashbacks to memories of their pre-reveal interactions that really illuminate the present and are extremely well woven into the narrative. I also really appreciated how honest Adrien was about his feelings, even with their relationship being so ambiguous.

The following fics are amazing and absolutely worth reading, but do feature sexual content, so minors beware.

your lips are meant to be kissed by @zimtlein

During a tipsy evening, Adrien kisses Marinette’s forehead.

Understandably enough, Marinette has a complete meltdown.

One-shot. Rated E for sexual content. This is one of my favourite fics and I’ve read it a good half a dozen times at least. The pining is absolutely phenomenal and Adrien is so, so oblivious. And the tension between them just builds and builds and builds until I thought I was going to die! But instead it all leads to a phenomenal resolution.