#my hilarious bi daughter

[erosjournal]

could you percys reaction to the reader coming out as bi? or really any percy fluff idk 😭😭 bro your writing is so good

omg anon u dont know how happy that made me, i ran around my room squealing ! anyways, here :3 (btw i pictured this as dating percy, if this isn't what u were looking for, you can ask for another ver w/ a little more specifics !)

☆ coming out to percy !

~ percy jackson x gender neutral bi reader

~ synopsis : coming out to your boyfriend as bi after his friend awakens something in you !

~ tw(s) : none?

You'd never thought of yourself as bisexual. You'd dated Percy, thinking you were only into guys. That's all you'd ever known. That was, until Percy introduced you to his friend.

This girl looked like a feminine version of Percy. She had beautiful long dark hair, that curled in just the right way, which was half up and half down. She wore a black lacy tank-top and maroon cargo shorts. Her eyes were a dark black that seemed to glimmer hints of bronze when the sun hit them just right.

"This is my friend, Camilla. She's a daughter of Eros," She took your hand, which hers was extremely soft, and shook it. She grinned at you.

"Hey," Camilla said. You felt your face flush, words barely working.

"Hey. My name' i--"

"Oh, yeah, Percy told me all about you. You're name's beautiful by the way," You felt yourself internally screaming. Percy laughed at your expression and waved to Camilla.

"I'm gonna take them to lunch, alright? See you later!" He held your hand and you two walked away, you now a bumbly mess.

About a week later, you'd decided to talk to Percy. You'd done some research, on Annabeth's phone, about what this feeling was. Turns out, there's something other than being gay or straight, which was bi. Bisexual people felt attraction towards more than one gender, which made you feel recognized.

Percy was laying in Cabin 3, capping and uncapping Riptide. You were laying next to him, your heart hammering out of your chest. Was now a good time?

"Perce," You started. He looked over, smiling.

"Hm? What's up, love?" You took a deep breath. Well, you'd already gotten his attention. Too late to back out.

"I.. I think I'm bi." There was a minor silence and you felt yourself panic. Did Percy find you disgusting? Or a cheater? He then rolled over and laid an arm across your stomach.

"That's great, love. I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me." And with those words, the feeling of anxiety and panic left your body. You sighed heavily.

"Really?" Percy propped himself on his elbow, smiling down at you.

"Yeah, of course. Now, I just want to ask..." You cocked an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Was Camilla your bi awakening?" He teased. You blushed, looking away.

"I--I mean-- I'd never cheat--" You argued defensively. Percy broke into laughter.

"No, love, it's alright if she was. I know you'd never break up with me. I just find that hilarious. You were a flustered mess with her." You sat up, shoving Percy playfully.

"Shut up!"

~ an : hiii !! i hope u liked this ! it was a little rushed :p i thought this was a good way to develop background first, but if it wasn't what you were looking for, feel free to req again !! (also, guys, i really hate the use of y/n in fics so i try my best to avoid it !!)

tag list: @writerthatarts

[wowyoulikeflowers]

headcanon list:

(mostly solangelo, but the others are present)

nico ADORES children, and the children adore him right back. he's nervous, at first, that they'll find him weird or creepy, but they all love his powers and ask him so many questions. he very quickly, and easily, becomes the favorite among the campers 12 and under. (nico and estelle become besties, and percy regularly jokes that nico is stealing his little sister from him).

will struggles with romantic gestures, not because he isn't a hopeless romantic, but because he overthinks everything to the point he talks himself out of them. nico, on the other hand, has vague memories of his mother teaching him how to court someone (girls, but all the theories apply regardless), so he has no issue with being romantic.

Sally Jackson is the biggest ally you'll ever meet. she's been decimating bigots since she was a teenager, and to this day, will verbally spar with any xenophobe. paul adores this about her and is her little cheerleader, holding her purse or earrings or shoes, whatever she deems necessary to have him hold.

nico was terrified to come out to Sally bc she's the closest thing he has to a mom, and so he's shaking when he tells her he's dating will. she just smiles at him and asks nico to tell her about will. later, when he leaves, feeling so light he could float, she pulls him into a tender hug and softly thanks him for trusting her. nico goes back and cries in will's arms from relief.

percy and nico make "not your type" jokes, but only after they have an in-depth conversation where they both apologize for their mistakes and wrong-doings against the other over the years. it's during this conversation that percy comes out to nico as bi, and it completely changes his worldview, bc it's one thing to be told you're not alone, and another to actually see it.

piper has made her peace with being a daughter of aphrodite, but she finds it hilarious to continue being "upset" by it. she'll make jokes, like, "ugh, if only my mother was a USEFUL godly parent" and the other campers will stare at her terrified while she giggles. aphrodite is never mad about this bc she knows emotions and can feel how piper is happy and content with her parentage.

nico, contrary to the belief that he doesn't feel emotions, is actually a very emotional person. he feels everything to the extreme, and started just shutting emotions out as a coping mechanism that was only ever encouraged by minos.

the most powerful demigods tend to look the most similar to their godly parent's chosen form. percy is a great example of this, as he's constantly referred to as a "mini-poseidon". nico is another, though he gets his eyes from his mom. a surprising one that no one remembers is will, who looks just like his father's preferred form.

(I can't remember if I read this somewhere else or if I dreamt this up) continuing with the will is powerful campaign, with apollo's children, there's an easy way to figure out how powerful they are. each of his partners appeals to one of his domains, and his children almost always are most proficient in said domain. for example, kayla knowles: her mortal father is an Olympic archery coach, and she is most proficient in archery. will is the first child of his to break that pattern in a century or so, and is his most powerful kid since asclepius. this is easily told by his mother, naomi, appealing to the music domain, but will having his proficiency be in healing; especially since he's incredibly talented with said healing powers.

nico has always been an ally, even in the 30s. he never understood why people were considered lesser bc of their skin color, and was never given an answer that made sense whenever he asked. he especially never liked how people talked about women, because his mama and bia were (and are) his heroes, so how on earth could they be lesser than him?

[bethanydelleman]

Thanks for the tag @firawren & @glassslippers-n-cowboyboots

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 45

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 208,023. And that's a bit surprising because a bunch of my longer fics are only on AHA or my website.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Mostly Jane Austen, all novels, Elizabeth Gaskell (Wives & Daughters), and Anne Bronte (The Tenant of Wildfell Hall). I have also technically written Oscar Wilde and My Happy Marriage, but those were very transformative.

I also have written some fics based on Kdramas, mostly for Alchemy of Souls.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Ride to Netherfield - Jane breaks her leg on the way to Netherfield and must stay for a month. Short one-shot (6k) and the first Pride & Prejudice variation I wrote.

Of Every Elizabeth - short and sweet Pride & Prejudice fluff, Darcy has nicknames for the plethora of Elizabeth's he's met over the course of his life (it was a super common name at the time)

Carry Me! - three vignettes of Jang Uk and Cho Yeong from Alchemy of Souls after they are married

The Fourth Bennet Sister - long fic (30k words), Pride & Prejudice variation where Kitty Bennet becomes aware that she is in a novel. She desperately tries to protect her sisters from harm.

All's Fair in Love and War - short Pride & Prejudice variation. Mrs. Bennet has weaponized compromise, men live in constant fear of being forced to marry.

5. Do you respond to comments? Yep. Every time.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Umm.... I'm not good at writing angst. I don't like characters to suffer for too long.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of them?

8. Do you get hate on fics? Yes, because I dared to write Mr. Darcy marrying Anne Elliot. People get more angry about that for some reason than Elizabeth Bennet marrying Captain Wentworth in the same fic. Someone even told me Darcy would rather "throw himself off of Pemberley" rather than marry anyone other than Elizabeth. (Fic is called One Week Late)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I have written smut a few times, it's pretty vanilla because I am pretty vanilla. I was reading Victorian erotica when I wrote my longest one, A Little Before Their Marriage (Jane & Bingley fic).

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I constantly write crossovers, my first published novel is a massive crossover, Prideful & Persuaded. One of my fun shorts is Fall on the Sword, where every canonically single woman in Austen's novels decides if they want to try for the recently divorced Mr. Rushworth.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not as far as I know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No, though someone did translate one of my meta posts from Tumblr. That was cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, The Marriage Contest with Branch Cloudsky and two with Amelia Marie Logan, Poor Caroline and Inferior Connections. All Pride & Prejudice fics, all funny. (You need an AO3 account for that one, the other two are on my personal website)

14. What’s your all time favourite ship? Catherine Morland & Henry Tilney. They are the only Austen couple I cannot bear to break up.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I am writing a queer retelling of Emma called "Different Ways of Being in Love", where Jane Fairfax and Emma were lovers as teenagers, Jane is bi, Emma is a lesbian, and Mr. Knightley is ace, but I got stuck on the middle part. Someday hopefully!

16. What are your writing strengths? I'm told I write some pretty hilarious farces. I am told I do characterization well, which is my main goal when writing fan fiction. I try to stick as close to canon as possible.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I don't write enough filler or develop things well enough. I like writing action.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I would possibly try my hand at French, but probably never. I also have a lot of trouble reading accented speech (looking at you Wuthering Heights), so I'd probably never write it.

19. First fandom you wrote for? I am fairly certain I started writing a fix-it fic for Nineteen Eighty-Four after I read it in high school. Not sure I would be able to locate it but it did exist. The first since I started writing again was a sequel to Pride & Prejudice.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Probably Unfairly Caught (my other published work) or The Fourth Bennet Sister. I NEEDED to write a Mansfield Park fic because I hate the ending, so it fixed my dissatisfied feelings. My goal is to edit The Fourth Bennet Sister and get it published sometime this year.

@wurzelbertzwerg, @kehlana-wolhamonao3 and @bad-at-names-and-faces

[annoyinglandmagazine]

I have a very specific take on the first meetings of Elrond and Celebrian that I am very obsessed with. So picture this. Celebrian during the Last Alliance is a pretty senior commanding officer within some of her parents forces and when she accompanies her mother to Imladris for the White Council she’s still largely fulfilling some of those duties for most of her stay, she’s out for a lot of the official events on patrols and such. She also spends most of the time around Imladris in her uniform, she has status of her own thank you very much she doesn’t need to introduce herself as Galadriel’s daughter to garner respect (Galadriel herself of course approves of this very wholeheartedly).

So in general she’d appear fairly masculine ( this was definitely not deliberate butch presentation to signal to queer elleths what are you talking about?), it’s mainly ambiguous on her part but she got her mother’s tall genes and built up a decent bit of lean muscle so people will draw their own conclusions. And while she’s in the training yard she hears someone humming what sounds like a Song of Power to enhance the stock of healing herbs kept nearby. She spots a stunning raven elleth in the corner that she was relatively certain she would be able to lift off her feet with shocking ease by the size of her.

Her conclusions were correct, the elf maid had a healer’s apron fastened over her dress and was most likely come from the Healing Halls, she was surprised she hadn’t seen her before though she hadn’t now until she’d started singing so maybe she was just good at blending it the background. She most certainly did not flex her sweat soaked muscles a little more than necessary with the next thrust, though the elleth most certainly seemed to think she had because she snorted to herself. Celebrian threw her a wink as she strode over to lean against a pillar.

She gets the name of Elwen, though she does not give one herself to the other’s great amusement. They flirt rather outrageously over the following weeks when they run into each other, sparring on occasion (and for such a tiny thing, by the Valar that Elwen was vicious. She was only two victories off drawing even with her, not that she was keeping track). Elrond was always fond of the anonymity offered by indulging his femininity, it was frankly shocking how few people recognised him when he did so, it was a pleasant way to both fulfil the need for a change that could not be ignored for long stretches of time and to experience things (and people) without the constant expectations to be a thousand different things at once. The opportunity for affairs of every nature without sullying the propriety of his reputation too thoroughly was another advantage.

So this all culminates in the first proper banquet Celebrian attends. ‘Lord Elrond, oh there you are, I was wondering if you’ve met my daughter Celebrian?’

Queue Celebrian going ‘oh shit, oh shit, I’ve been absolutely scandalous to one of my mother’s friends, oh Valar she’s going to kill me.’

And Elrond going ‘fuck, of all people you had to pick Galadriel’s daughter? Galadriel’s going to kill me, they will never find the body. Was that indecent corset really necessary?’

Galadriel finds this whole story hilarious when they tell her several centuries later (she knew the whole time and was just stirring shit up). Elrond and Celebrian are both bi so it works out anyways once they figure out exactly what happened.

[wands-and-w1ngz]

GIVE ME YOUR COSWAN HEADCANONS

SMILES AT YOU CRAZY STYLES. ok so.

• first of all, they’re t4t. that’s just canon to me. (i’m not writing Cis Man Mpreg into my rewrite LMFAO cosmo is just a trans man)

• and speaking of which, i think wanda is bi and cosmo is pan!

• when they first met in the diner, cosmo was TERRIFIED that he had dropped her drink on her since it was common knowledge that she’s a mob daughter. wanda didn’t know him personally at that point but she knew Of Him from his reputation and upon this meeting thought he was sweet and felt so bad for scaring him that she came back after his shift and took him out for a drink. they hit it off immediately and were friends ever since :3

• as teens/young adults they used to meet up in secret for a long time, wanda was nervous about introducing cosmo to her dad and cosmo just didn’t plan to introduce wanda to his mom because of how possessive she is. (eventually she found out, of course, cause she does know of wanda even if she wasn’t told they married.)

• one of these times they tried to climb a fence instead of flying over it for fun, wanda slipped and hurt her shoulder, and cosmo (who was trying to catch her) ALSO slipped and busted his knee. it hurt a lot but they eventually laughed it off and cleaned up without ever telling their parents.

• cosmo does the cooking when they make dinner at home, he’s tried to teach wanda but he isn’t very good at explaining things, so it usually ends in something inedible

• they’re both huge cuddlers, even when it’s really hot you’d be hard pressed to pull them apart

• sometimes cosmo helps wanda do her hair in the morning, so when she was busy he would help peri as a kid

• they LOVE dancing and taking photos together

• wanda likes to put on horror movies and pretend to be scared so she can cuddle up to cosmo (even though she could probably snap him in half LOL)

AND I’LL PROBABLY THINK OF MORE LATER! but yeah they’re so fucking cute to me. i really gotta draw them more which is hilarious considering i’ve drawn them more than anyone else iirc

[kaycode1999]

Hello I was wondering if I could have an MHA (and maybe demon slayer but if im asking for too much mha is fine) character matchup if your not too busy. 

I'm straight and use she/her pronouns. I was previously bi but now I'm a straight alley with a friend group as straight as a circle 😑

personality: I'm creative, hyper, ENFP, slytherin, (somewhat) smart, ADHD, nerd, Sarcastic, funny, I'm basically the tall intimidating person that's actually a huge softie, I have a mind dirtier than a dumpster,  my humor is f'd up but hilarious, have different personalities for different people, I hate asking for too much of people, Tomboy,  I hate expressing negative emotions and just suppress them, had sewerslidal thought when I was young due to family stuff (doesn't happen anymore) I'm that mixture between an extrovert and a introvert,  oldest daughter syndrome, I like making new friends but arouhd a lot of people idk i hate leaving my friends sight, Comedic friend, and I'm a people pleaser. Hates when people say no not because im spoiled i just think they will hate me for asking a question like that. Sometimes wants to eat non edible things.

Hates: bugs, math, those stupid low quality crayons restaurants give kids, singing infront of people, and cleaning.

Loves: I love art, watching anime, music, Doing voice impressions, singing, riding my bike, Cosplaying, gaming, baking, cooking, and reading

Favorite animal: snakes

Show/movies i love: hazbin hotel, helluva boss, tbhk, demon slayer, mha, IF,  TMNT, journey to the center of the earth, jumanji, Disney movies in general, DreamWorks movies in general, schitts creek, ghost busters, tadc, Harry potter, percy jackson, comedy movies, my inner demons, dream smp,  and marvel in general.

Addicted to: fanfics, anime, ai chats, gummy/sour candy, tiktok, ghost hunting vids, music, stuffed animals.

Music taste: hazbin hotel and helluva boss music, Disney music, good charlotte, jelly roll, struggle jennings, tom macdonald, and country music.

Clothes style: short sleeve shirts, hoodies, Jean shorts and pants, converse, and a necklace if I'm feeling like it.

Must have: some sort of physical touch such as hugs or cuddles once or will go crazy

Allergies: dogs

(preferably don't give denki or Mic cuz I get those too often 😭. Thanks for your time!)

Demon Slayer

Tengen Uzi

My Hero Academia

Best Jeanist

You have deep special connections with both of them because of a shared creative spirit

They both think your hyper-ness is adorable and amusing

They both think of you as smart and appreciate that about you

They both love that you’re nerdy, they think it’s very cute and even have some nerdy interests themselves

Uzi freaking loves your sarcasm and loves giving it back just as much

Jeanist wasn’t expecting it but comes to find it humorous

As tall and intimidating as you are they are both taller and more intimidating

They are also just as much softies on the inside as you

I don’t know why but when you said your mind was dirty I just thought you meant like inappropriate stuff; innuendos or that sort of thing and I thought it would be funny because Tengen loves it even though he gets a little flustered and will do it right back. Poor Jeanist he gets so flustered, poor thing he doesn’t know how to act😂. But I did see you said F-ed up humor right after so I could have taken a different meaning

Either way they both find you very funny

They both try to be there for you and give you a safe space to express those emotions you suppress, they understand it will take time and it’s hard to break habits like that but they’re there for you if and when you need them

Jeanist especially will be sensitive to this and I think really dotes on you more than usual when he can sense you’re dealing with negative emotions

It’s good that you are sociable because both of them are also social, but they understand wanting to stick by people you know and are comfortable around

Both of them have a lot of expectations in their lives; the hero society and general public, the demon slayer corps, as well as internal pressure so they understand people pleasing well and might even have those tendencies themselves

They will help you to not do it too much to where you burn yourself out, if you want their help that is. If you just want them to be understanding and love you through it they’ll do that too

Honestly I think they are both so doting and wrapped around your finger they virtually never say no to you. Whatever you want is yours

They both happen to love basically all the stuff you listed you love so it’s really nice you can enjoy the same things

They both love physical affection like hugs or cuddles and will hug or cuddle you all the time

[fictionaltrvlr]

out of order thoughts on the new DW special because I just neeeeed to brain dump (Spoilers for The Giggle!!)

Amazing, wonderful

That villain is terrifying

Was a very good thing that Ten’s face came back and not Eleven’s, because Eleven would have dropped that ball faster than he could blink

“Spent six months teaching my daughter how to play the recorder, til she said ‘This is not me;’ which spawned a whole other conversation, believe you me!”

That bi-generation was absolutely fantastic. Actually the best thing. I love it. It should be silly, but it’s not, it’s amazing.

Rehab out of order!! We get a happy-go-lucky, untraumatized (or at least significantly less traumatized) Doctor, because Fourteen actually does the work. He gets a happy family, he gets to chill. He takes fun little trips and doesn’t lose his TARDIS- I’m gonna cry again

I mean. “Maybe I’ll save you this time.” AND THEN SHE DOES-

Fifteen’s energy is just perfect, I love him so much already

Also love the fact that he’s just trouser-less and no one acknowledges it?? Hilarious.

FAVOURITE NIECE 😭

The fact that they deliberately pointed out the wheelchair ramp on the new TARDIS?? This is not the last we’ve seen of physically disabled characters!! We’re getting more!!

The Master is trapped in A GOLD TOOTH??? of all things 😭

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 17

so it's definitely gonna be something big and flashy. i just still hope that it doesn't have any impact on who actually wins.

see, the funny thing is that i genuinely don't think Derek has actually done anything wrong...? like, afaik, he wasn't trying to dismiss Trevor or belittle his feelings, he just... had a crush on Kristal and acted like it. am i misremembering something? or is Trevor just being really petty for no reason? (this isn't Trevor hate; i actually find it quite impressive that i still root for Trevor despite him like objectively being in the wrong. that's just the silly billy rizz i suppose.)

"i started thinking that because of you! but, if your character ends you in a place where you do realize that what people think matters, maybe i'll believe that too, because i care what you think."

this was a nice save from Connor.

so the Sharma family has one daughter who's 31, and one daughter who's <18? that's a pretty big age gap (minimum 14 years), though obviously not an impossible one. i wonder if things just shook out that way, or if they aren't (fully) biologically related?

what did she have against Hunter? hilarious if she only wants her bi daughter to date a women. or maybe she was just a big tessally shipper.

oh this is really sad actually. wild that his parents haven't talked to him in two years, but were willing to send him a letter for the show???

WHO THE FUCK IS EXCITED TO SEE YUL?????

Grett is so cool.

🎶Me encanta el poder y no perder--

REAL ("Connor, you can't be this stupid" echoes in the background)

BRO WHAT--

MY FIRST INSTINCT WAS THAT SHE WAS GOING TO SNAP HIS NECK

WHAT THE FUCK. okay so even a day later i am still reeling from this obviously but i do want to say that it's hilarious that Riya can get directly drop kicked by a horse so hard that it flings her like 60 ft up into the air and be completely fine, but Connor falls off of a horse and nearly gets permanently paralyzed. sucks to be an OLD MAN ig 🔥🔥🔥 (/j)

also i can't believe the break Connor's legs challenge was foreshadowing oh my god--

and that was when Riya knew

she fucked up

this sequence is so melodramatic it's honestly kind of hilarious. also Jake is ready to throttle a bitch.

this was a really nice acting moment, even if the context surrounding it wasn't the best. although, even then, was this move even a bad writing decision? i kind of want to say it was, just because of how out of nowhere it was, but i don't think it was actually a bad choice. like, yes, i too am disappointed that they "gave Riya plot armor" in not having her eliminated this episode, because i don't really think we need to spend more time unpacking her deal.

however, if they're going to keep Riya around for another episode (or even until the finale), i think that giving her another concrete thing to be a part of is a good idea. it'll certainly keep her character memorable for several seasons to come. and, i like how this parallels her tossing Aiden off that cliff in the s2 finale! in that situation, she had just become a villain, and purposefully endangered Aiden with no remorse. this time, she's been a villain for the entire season, but is now forced into the position of hurting Connor on accident and being full of remorse for it. being a villain is exactly what people expect for her, and Riya is nothing if not what people expect. it's a real moment of facing exactly what you've become.

to be honest, even a day after watching the episode, i'm still reeling so hard from what happened that i find it difficult to parse out exactly how i feel about this episode. i may wind up changing my mind, and, who knows, i might even change my mind again after that. all i know is that. we wildin. All Stars is such a season.

given how this game works, i'd honestly be more worried about her sudden athletic prowess. but, a threat's a threat either way.

why did they have him say this directly before Tribal if he cast his vote on Grett? i guess it's foreshadowing for Ally being threatening later?

i mean, i'm not too surprised. if it wasn't going to be Riya, it makes sense that they would eliminate Grett as the biggest threat. plus, Grett was being too obviously awesome. put her on the "best to never win" list.

o7 slay queen

i expect nothing less... than a Jake/Ally/Connor finale, lmao.

what an episode! i'm really glad i wasn't at all spoiled on this one, 'cause i think it was important to go in truly blind to the what-the-fuck-iness of this plot. unfortunately, with Riya still in the game (for now), i do feel like next episode's boot is going to be pretty predictable, but... i've been saying that Riya's elimination is really obvious for the past two episodes now, so, maybe i'll be wrong again!!!

[t1oui]

Nuna headcanons for one of my (very underrated) otps

Neville wearing Luna's spectrespecs when she doesn't want to/doesn't feel like it

Neville goes searching for creatures with her (and sometimes Xeno tags along too)

They love working in the greenhouse together

No matter if they sit at Gryffindor's or Ravenclaw's table, they always sit together for meals, especially breakfast as they're both up early

Neville always gives Luna his shoes when hers go missing and she loves it.

Luna being shorter than Neville leading to lots of little forehead/cheek/nose kisses

Them going to the Yule Ball together

(Neville asked her after the first time he gave her his shoes. He saw how excited she was and liked working with her when she asked him for his help in the greenhouse right after.)

Originally Harry was very defensive of his sister, but over time he saw that Neville cared about her just as much as he did

Late nights in the library or in the Gryffindor/Ravenclaw common rooms. Luna is reading the Quibbler and Nev is reading herbology books.

Luna complimenting Neville 24/7, telling him he's worth it

Lots of hand-holding. Lots of it.

Neville blushes really easily and Luna never even turns slightly pink.

Nev & Luna going on triple dates with Harry & Cedric and Ron & Hermione

Neither of them are straight, and they take pride in that

Luna being able to give Neville piggyback rides (and doing it)

(Neville was skeptical, but Harry was like no bro. Just trust her. She is much stronger than she looks lol.)

They have matching bracelets. They just do.

Furthermore, Luna makes Nev jewelry all the time. Sometimes it matches something she has, sometimes it doesn't. She makes bracelets, earrings, necklaces, etc. Neville wears them with pride and after the first three times he yelled at people about it, nobody makes fun of him for it anymore.

They paint their nails together

They have sleepovers with Cho and Padma in the Ravenclaw dormitory where they give each other makeovers.

Neville is secretly obsessed with glitter and Luna knows this.

Neville's favorite colors are the colors of the bi flag, specifically pink. So basically what I'm saying is half of the gifts he gets from Luna are sparkly and bi flag colors.

(He gets her stuff in pan & ace flag colors. They go ALL OUT for pride.)

They like making pastries together (Neville is hopeless at it, but he's trying)

They have muggle movie nights where they pick muggle movies (usually bad ones) and make popcorn and watch them. They stay up till like 2 am doing this every other Friday.

(It doesn't even slow Luna down, but Neville has to sleep for a good 14 hours to recover. She doesn't mind.)

Luna tells Nev about nargles and wrackspurts and Nev tells Luna all about his plants and they could listen to each other for hours.

Luna got Neville a regular 'ol cactus for his 16th birthday. He named it Chelsey. It's their daughter now.

Neville's a dreadful dancer. Luna pretends not to notice because she doesn't care; she's having fun anyway.

They love Christmas and they decorate together every year. Sometimes they help Professor Sprout decorate the Great Hall.

Neville will pick Luna up and twirl her around when he's exited, and Luna loves it.

When Luna introduced Nev to Barty and Evan they absolutely terrified him. They have come to like him and now they act confused whenever he seems on edge around them b/c they find it hilarious.

Luna hates sparkles, but she wears a sparkly pink dress to their wedding, and Neville wears the lime green suit she told him she loved one time when they were 16 and 17.

They like walking around Hogsmeade together. (The first time Harry saw them arm-in-arm Cedric and Hermione practically had to pull him off the ceiling of the Three Broomsticks.)

Neville tells Hermione, the mom of the group (the only person who is more of a mom than Neville, honestly), all about Luna. This includes when he liked her before the Ball.

Nev & Luna high-five regularly. Luna taught Neville what it was and he's a bit obsessed.

They love cats. When Luna introduced Neville to Regulus, he was in his animagus/cat form because she thought he would be less scary this way.

They go stargazing together. Reg, Sirius, & Luna's uncle Evan taught her all the stars. She teaches Neville - he doesn't tell her he's already memorized every one.

Whenever it snows, Nev goes out with Luna on his shoulders and she goes back and forth between trying to photograph snowflakes and trying to eat them.

When they first started dating, Harry was unsure, but now he and Neville are good again. He tells Neville about Luna's interests & gives him gift ideas.

Study dates between Neville & Luna and Harry & Ced. (Ron and Hermione are never told b/c they argue about the appropriate amount of times Ron can ask Hermione for help the. entire. time.)

Basically, I love these two. This post is very long but I'm already brainstorming ideas for a part 2.

[cartoonrival]

Keeping Up With The Uzumakis!!! I read that years ago! I can’t believe it’s back! I just went through the entire With Cheese tag and it has some gold in it, the gender sexuality headcanons especially are golden! Idk if they’re still canon but I love them.

Trans Nauto and Hinata is both inspired and accidentally canon (wisker marks coming from being in the womb on jinchuuriki and all) because of how careful you are with canon I’m sure it’s intentional

Sasuke being gay, we been knowing this since he was 12

I need Sakura to start sleeping with everybody at the hospital the second she find out about the affair. She must have so so much repressed sexual energy that can only really come out by sleeping with Ino, but Ino’s married and actually happy about that so the blonde nurse assigned to ward 4 will have to make due.

Kakashi being ambiguously bisexual is great, you never know what exactly he is feeling except that he’s feeling something about Guy (And also Obito and Rin during the war, but that’s in his PAST and therefore NOT his PROBLEM anymore)

Guy being gay, perfect no notes

Rock Lee’s gender and Sexuality being Rock Lee, perfect. Nobody is doing it like Rock Lee.

More inspired trans headcanons with Boruto and Sarada, once again hitting male characters with the Tranfem-ification beam and also Sasuke leaving Konoha with a son and coming back to a daughter. Sakura totally wrote to him about her transition with all of the medical and personal details but Sasuke never read them because he was too busy reading Naruto’s Horny Letters tm.

Ps, will the next chapter/episode/installment thing take over a year again? It’s fine if it does there’s so much gold in it it’s completely worth the wait.

IM GLAD YOU LIKE IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33 having read kuwtu "years ago" seriously scared me but yeah ig ep 0 was a year and a half ago .... SCARY ........

most of the gender/sexuality stuff is either the same or adjacent to my actual headcanons outside of kuwtu which are mostly either canon supported or compliant (my usual hc for naruto is trans and bi aroace, sasuke is arospec gay, etc. i initially made naruto trans because i'm trans and i thought it would be awesome, i did realize a little after that the whiskers thing implied that he was lol. i like trans sakura in canon but she can't be trans for kuwtu because that wouldve required sasuke to be also trans and be the one to carry sarada which he could never do. the complexity of naruto's canon sexuality wrt romantic vs platonic love is unnecessary for kuwtu and complicates things in a way that takes away from the reality tv humor. aroaces aren't known for relationship drama).

i don't currently have any plans for sakura or hinata to find out about the affair because i can't really figure how to make that funny since it would be such a massive and terrible betrayal. sakura and naruto have sort of drifted apart atp, but at one point they were best friends, and learning that her best friend was sleeping with her husband would be so fucking insane that i just don't really have the heart to write it unless i get blessed with some really hilarious idea for it, lol. hinata's pov in kuwtu is already depressing as is-- you all haven't seen much of her and idk how to integrate her pov in rn, but the humor from her end comes largely from the tonal dissonance rather than from her actually having funny reactions to her shitty marriage like sakura does.

that said, if sakura DID find out about the affair, i don't think that she is the type to sleep around because she is waaaay too tied down by responsibility. the whole reason why she hasn't divorced sasuke is in order to maintain the status quo for sarada, so while she would definitely go more than a little crazy at this info i don't think she would be sleeping with any employees. you are 100% right though that she has repressed sexual energy because she hasn't had sex in 12 years.

my usual hc for kakashi is aroace with bisexual tendencies specifically because he has a weird gay thing going on with gai. in kuwtu the kakagai joke is that they have a weird gay thing going on and they're always attached at the hip but never explicitly romantic, which tbh is basically true about boruto canon as well. again i haven't found a good opportunity to work kakashi and gai into kuwtu ... but i think about it because they're really important to me. im a kakaobi anti but that is neither here nor there.

transfem boruto is important to me, i have a comic that vaguely touches on it scripted but idk if im ever gonna actually make it. if i get to a point where i know im never gonna draw it then ill post the script. i'm not entirely sure what the circumstances for his and sasuke's training vacay is since kuwtu has, as far as ive considered, literally none of the conflict elements that boruto canon has, so they might just go off cuz boruto wanted to be taught by sasuke (he admires sasuke as a ninja even if he thinks sasuke as a person is lame as fuck and cringe).

i don't currently have any plans for the next installment. since ep 0 and The Truth were both rewrites of actual events in boruto canon, atp i have to be like fully original which is harder, lol. so i don't know..... i really love the kuwtu cast but i don't have any full comic ideas for them rn.

anyways THANK YOU! IM GLAD YOU LIKE KUWTU BECAUSE I DO ALSO ... <3

[blackwolfstabs]

hi.

i need sam and danny to have like 10 kids because i need more little people running around the world that look like sam. cause holy fuck. i mean i love danny but like sam. . . yes pls.

ok. but if they had sons that looked like danny and he made them workout so they can get a body like him. yes pls.

or

they have all girls and they all look like sam, but the resemble/reflect melissa's other characters. so you can have like 10 mini sammies running around by the names of: vanessa, carmen, julie, olivia, mia, lynn, melissa, chama, daniela (AND THEY CAN CALL HER DANI LIKE DANNY. I'M FUNNY.), and ofc bb sammy (CAUSE YES. SHE'D BE THE YOUNGEST. SAM THE II). yes pls.

yes there are still 10 of these mfs. yes pls. hehe

(full disclosure: i have not seen all of these films and/or series lol. i had to send you this because i came across a compilation of vanessa morales gifs and sbavgdaherlukfjbagdbhn— literal bi panic.)

first of all... hi.

second, uhhhh i get where ur going but good luck convincing Sam to even have 1 kid 😂 like i'm not even trying to be a snob but with how anxious and paranoid she was/is about being Billy's daughter??? i mean, yes, i think she would be a good mother but like those children got a lot to inherit from and hear about her fr

but... 10?????? once again, i know she's strong but my god, that's enough to put any woman in her grave. but having them (if they were girls) all be named after melissa's other characters (as well as one being herself) is brilliant! and i gotta say, Daniela's gotta be the only one with blue eyes, just so she could resemble Danny a lil bit. that makes me soft fr

and Sam the II, i'm fuckin dead xD but i can see it - she would literally be the spitting image of Sam and watch her 24/7 and then try to do everything like her and now i'm soft again ahsgdfjlavfjlvflqjfegerehs so ty ig..

i've actually had this ridiculous idea that i spontaneously made one day (don't judge me) that Tara would be great with kids and would take like 8 of them on field trips to the zoo or something and she'd be such a ringleader. like she would call them her ducklings and to make sure they'd all stay together, she'd tell them that everyone gets a finger to hold on to or she'd have a belt that she ties leashes to so they won't wander off. and when they're done at one spot, she'd be like "ok and 3... 2... 1, WADDLE" and they'd just move around like a flock of ducks. it's very specific but it would just be hilarious 😂 so my point is that IF ur idea was a thing, Tara could take them all somewhere and be a boss about it. plus it'd be fair bc Sam had to babysit her and Chad, Mindy, and Wes, when they were little so HAHA

(lmfao idc ur good :) dw)

[nehswritesstuffs]

Double-Date from Hell

Y’all ever think of something so hilarious that you HAVE to write it, and then it just spirals out of control? Yeah, this is it.

8941 words; I’ve seen versions of this general joke going around and it’s still pretty funny in my brain so please just humor me; I guess it’s a Modern AU w/No Devil Fruits, but Brook is still a skeleton and Minks and Fish-men exist… somehow…? idk; SO MANY PEOPLE ARE ALIVE IN THIS AU THAT SHOULDN’T BE but you know what this is my story too damn bad I mean it’s already set in a quasi-Midwest metro; this took me so long to write because I kept cracking the fck up and I’m sure you’ll be able to tell where

Double-Date from Hell; Law has a new girlfriend. Cora-san’s got a hot date. Nami’s shagging a doctor. Things might be easier if Bell-mère had mentioned to her daughters she’s actually bi before she reconnected with an old flame. [modern!AU, LawNa, Bellazón]

Shuffling into the kitchen, Law blearily went into the fridge and began to poke around almost absentmindedly, hunger the only reason as to why he was currently existing on the mortal plane. What had supposed to be a twelve-hour shift in Logue Town General’s emergency room—as a favor, no less!—had turned into a twenty thanks to the perfect storm of call-offs and reckless pieces of bullshit trying to copy a social media trend. It reminded him of why he never wanted to stay down in Emergency full-time—fuck… doing clinicals there had been bad enough…

“Oh, there’s the sleepy-head!” Law jumped at the sudden confirmation that his father was in the room as well. He took a container filled with leftover noodles and popped it in the microwave oven with a bit more aggression than was necessary. “Rough night?”

“I remember when social media was used to share pictures of cats with poorly-spelled captions and complain about the accuracy of the fantasy book-to-movie pipeline, not to show off doing handstands in dangerous places and getting high off lip balm.” He glanced at his father to see he was dressed rather nice—that was a risk, considering how clumsy the older man was—though most things were better than his current pajama-pants-no-shirt-tousled-bedhead-at-four-in-the-afternoon look. “Cora-san, you know what happens when you wear a tie.”

“I know, I know, but I need to look nice tonight. What do you think?”

“That you look like a man about to turn forty who can’t so much as wear a tie without catching it on something every five minutes.”

“Well, yeah, but the shirt’s nice, right?”

An extremely pale pink with a red heart pattern; the tie was black, though his trousers were white.

“It’s… you.”

“I’ll take what I can get.” The microwave oven beeped at Law and he took the container out to stir. “Probably won’t be back until late, if I’m back at all tonight, so don’t worry if I’m not in.”

Law stopped mid-stir and stared at Cora. “Why would you both be alright, but also not come home tonight?”

“What, you can’t tell?! Your old man’s got a hot date!”

The silence that fell over the kitchen was simply unbearable. Law did not currently have the reserve mana to process that the grinning goofball he referred to as his foster father—foster roommate, on particularly irritating days—had anything even close to a potential sexual encounter lined up. He put the noodles back in the microwave oven and turned it on again.

“You don’t have to lie to me, you know,” he grumbled. “You know I don’t care what you do—we’re both adults now.”

“Oh, come on… you aren’t even the least bit happy for me?”

“I can’t legally be happy until I get at least six cups of coffee and these noodles in me, then we’ll talk.”

“Fine, fine; spoilsport.” Cora sat at the table and pouted, watching his son put together some coffee. He knew he was tired when he brought a mug of it over, as well as the noodles still in the container he heated them up in. “It’s not like I’m an old man—can’t I take inspiration from the fact my son got himself a cute girlfriend?”

“You’ve never met her, so there’s nothing to get inspired from,” Law replied dully. He twirled some of the long pasta on his fork and scowled. “No, this is not an offer for you to meet her either. I want to make sure of this one before that happens.”

“You make it sound like I’m embarrassing.”

“You picked me up from school in clown makeup.”

“It wasn’t that bad…”

“Multiple times.”

“It kept things interesting.”

“Kids recovering from near-terminal illness don’t exactly enjoy being interesting.”

“The assholes that were scared of clowns never bothered you after that.”

“Okay, that I’ll give you.” Law shoved more pasta in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. “You know, I think I’ll go out tonight too—bound to be something going on.”

“There you go,” Cora beamed. “Here we are: a couple of young stallions, ready to make the night theirs!”

“Never again say those words in that order again, by all that is good in this world.”

“Spoilsport,” Cora scowled. A devilish grin then flashed across his face. “We should double-date!”

That too was a resounding, firm no.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was the generally-accepted consensus that there was no party like a Straw Hat party.

They weren’t all rowdy affairs that got the cops called at two in the morning—they reserved those for when the on-duty officers were ones likely to just turn the music down and bring their own drinks—but it was always the collection of people who were there that boggled Law’s mind. He had only started attending such shindigs recently after a weird series of events led to him pulling the charismatic teen out of the bay and helping make sure he was still alive. Luffy had declared them friends and that he now had an obligation to hang out, which would have been a one-and-done thing if it wasn’t for the people he collected in the nearly-rural house hidden amongst trees and actual property.

The East Blue kendo and archery champions? A world-class chef? A teenaged medical prodigy? The preeminent Void Century historian turning academia on its head? One of the most sought-after mechanical engineers in the world who also moonlighted in architecture? A living rock music legend? The man that kept literally all the trains in the region running smoothly? That didn’t even get into the kid’s brothers, or people outside of his innermost circle…

…and it certainly didn’t get into Nami.

He had originally begun talking to the redhead after observing her at that first party he attended. She was very level-headed—especially compared to Luffy despite that not meaning much—and knew precisely the situation they had going. It was the modern equivalent of the Enlightenment salon, where people got together and exchanged ideas and made changes happen. It was a counterculture hotbed with significantly fewer hard drugs and way more bellyflop competitions between people who couldn’t swim in the backyard’s in-ground pool. It was the next generation figuring shit out, getting ready to usher in a new age. Except, not only did the weather-and-surveying whiz keep everything running, it was very easy to say that she was the brains of the entire operation, making Luffy’s natural charm work for something. The next thing he knew they were chatting amiably, then kissing, and—after a considerable blackout—woke up very naked in bed with her the next morning.

It was a little awkward as they put everything together after that. They both thought the other was older than they really were (he thought her only a couple years younger than him instead of the actual six, and she thought he was well into his thirties (to be fair, he did say he was an actual surgeon while flirting)), and there was the wolf whistles that came out of some of the other Straw Hats as they went down to breakfast, but they settled into something… comfortable after that. The “crew” generally accepted him and he found their antics… tolerable, he guessed, especially considering what putting up with them meant for his love life…

“Oi! Witch! We need you to stop sucking geriatric face for two minutes and rein in Luffy!”

Nami groaned into Law’s mouth in frustration before breaking the kiss to glare at Zoro from across the large, open-concept living room that thankfully only contained the main Straw Hats crew aside from the man beneath her. Law knew to not remove his hands from her waist and rear, else she get pressured into something more involved. “What happened to someone saying he could handle him?”

All she got in response was a one-eyed glare.

“If she’s not back in two minutes like you said, Roronoa-ya, I will make you regret that age comment,” Law warned, voice dripping in sarcasm. Zoro flipped him his middle finger, which he returned.

“Boys, behave,” Nami sighed as she left the room. Law took it as his opportunity to see if there was any food available yet, shuffling over to the kitchen island where Sanji was working. A mug of coffee was already waiting for him as he sat down and watched the blond at work.

“Thanks,” he muttered, drinking the coffee gratefully.

“Just keep her happy,” Sanji replied. He and Law were in a tenuous sort of agreement, both men recognizing they were from the same Blue from the moment they met. Neither of them talked about it much, but it was clear that they were both in the East because it was not the North, and that was all they needed.

“If not, then you know it won’t be from lack of effort on my end.”

“True. Oh, Nami-swan told me the other day you don’t eat bread. Is it a gluten thing, or…?”

“Nah—just don’t like it. I physically can eat it, but just haven’t wanted to for a while now.”

“Not since home?”

“Something like that.”

“Okay, good, because I remember you eating breaded things the last few times you were over, but I have a special coating I can use if it’s a gluten issue.”

“Nope—just a preference.” Law sipped his coffee and watched the other man work, his hands nimble as he prepped and cooked. It reminded him of himself at his own craft, in a way, mesmerizing him until he felt a pair of arms warp around his midsection from behind. “Luffy tamed?”

“For the time being,” Nami murmured in his ear. “He’s going to be a handful next week when his brothers are over.”

“Not entirely sure how you do it,” he admitted. “Then again, I don’t know how any of you do it.”

“Luff just has that magnetism, you know?” Sanji chuckled. “When we’re all together, it’s because he knows we need to be in order to move forward. It’s why we’ve even got old-timers with us, as you know.”

“Nami, your friends are childish.”

“People wonder why I don’t date boys,” she replied. “That would just set both parties up for disappointment.”

“How true your words are, Nami-swan,” Sanji crooned. “We are all but mere amateurs compared to your beauty and grace. The fact you decide to honor us with your presence is more than we deserve.”

Fuck… to be that idiotically horny again. Law tried to remember the last time he said anything as stupid as the heart-eyed cook and, to be honest, couldn’t remember anything of the like. Seas… was he really that old…? No, he decided… just… busy during those years. He would take busy… as though busy was having an impact on him now…

“Sanji-kun,” Nami said sweetly, “I’m going to bring Torao upstairs for a little discussion before dinner, if that’s alright with you.”

“As you wish, Nami-swa~a~n,” the blond swooned. He blew her a kiss as she winked and pulled Law onto his feet.

This place was so fucking weird.

Heading up the stairs, Law silently followed Nami as she led him through the house he was already strikingly familiar with. They slipped into her room and she locked the door behind them. Finally—peace and quiet.

“Don’t you think you were a little rough on Blackleg-ya?” he asked as she unbuttoned his shirt. “I only meant it as a joke…”

“Don’t you worry about Sanji-kun,” she hummed, pressing kisses along his neck and collarbone as her fingers went over his toned abdomen. She guided him down to his knees before sitting on the edge of the mattress. With his hat long-forgotten in the living room, she was able to gently card her fingers through his fluffy hair as he turned his attention to her legs. He gently massaged her calves with his expert hands, wandering up her thighs. He went under the hem of her skirt and his eyebrows rose at what he discovered.

“Nothing…?” he smirked. “Naughty.” He lifted her leg to hook her knee on his shoulder before slowly tracing a line of his own kisses down her inner thigh and towards her hot, wet core. Hiking her skirt a bit higher, she let her other leg fall a bit more to the side, opening up for him. He lapped at her experimentally, smiling smugly at the noise she made.

“Fuck me good, Law-kun,” she ordered. “Make him hear me scream.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was quarter past four in the morning before Law actually left the house at 1000 Sunny Road, dragging his ass into his car and wishing it was quieter as he pulled away. The only consolations to his pre-dawn walk of shame was that he slipped out when all the other Straw Hats sans Nami were asleep and that he could still taste his girlfriend the entire drive back. She had seen him out after some additional, varied rounds in her bedroom, kissing him through the open car window.

“Don’t be a stranger now,” she had smirked. Fuck… she had him on a leash and they both knew it. Her taste had almost faded by the time he pulled into the driveway at his dad’s. He killed the engine and leaned back against the seat—a few hours of sleep and he could be back into something of a normal rhythm for when he went on day shifts the following week. It was all he could do to haul himself out the car and into the house, blaming his exhaustion on the twenty hour ER shift from hell messing with him and not his girlfriend fucking his brains out.

As Law walked through the dimly-lit house, he heard a snore come from the living room. He took a peek and saw Cora-san laying on the floor again, having passed out after some sort of fall. Again. Law hefted the other man onto his shoulder and helped him up the stairs to the main bedroom, where he deposited him on the mattress with little fanfare.

Wait a second… were those bite marks…? He looked closer at the bit of Cora-san’s chest that was exposed—buttons undone while his tie hung loose around his neck—and sure as shit, there were bite marks and smeared lipstick on both his chest and neck. It was a burnt-orange, which was definitely not a color that was in the house, lending credence to the “hot date” theory as much as Law shuddered at the thought.

He left a container of salve on the nightstand and made sure the other man was at least fully on the bed before going to sleep himself—with any luck, he wouldn’t have to hear a thing about the date and they continue on with their lives in peace. The less he could think about his father and sex, the better things were going to be.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“So… this old man you’re fucking… he at least cute in some weird geriatric way?”

“Ugh, what has Usopp been telling you?” Nami groaned. Her sister Nojiko chuckled at her from across the table, drinking her tea smugly. One of her rare mornings home and she was already being grilled. It was too early for this shit. “I’m not fucking an old man. He is in his twenties, thank you.”

“Turning thirty next month, is he?”

“He is twenty-six, for your information. He just looks a little rough because he’s got tattoos and is already a surgeon. Med school, clinical rotations, and residency are all vampires.”

“Sounds fishy to me,” Nojiko frowned. “I can’t be worrying after both you and Bell-mère now.”

“Bell-mère is a lesbian who just started reconnecting with an old flame from her Marine days,” Nami reasoned. “The circumstances are completely different.”

“You keep telling yourself that, sis,” Nojiko teased. “I still have on great confidence that he’s older than dirt, and that’s despite the fact you hang out with a man so old he’s a skeleton.”

“I am going to kill Usopp!”

“It wasn’t Usopp…”

“Who the fuck are you talking to behind my back?!”

It was then that their adoptive mother shuffled into the room, still half-asleep from the looks of things.

“I was woken by the sound of mockery; show me the object of ridicule,” Bell-mère grunted. She looked at her daughters and knew instantly what was going on. “We calling out the Old Man Fucker for what she is?”

“BELL-MÈRE!”

“Honey, if you’re planning on becoming a young widow, then at least make sure he’s loaded first,” Bell-mère said, unfazed by her youngest’s ire. She poked her head in the refrigerator and frowned. “Nojiko, sweetie, did you get more milk?”

“Haven’t been to the store yet,” her elder daughter said idly. “Will take care of it on my way back from work.”

“Since we’re currently in the habit of wanting to know about each other’s love lives,” Nami growled through grit teeth, “how’s Cora? That was your date’s name from when you went out the other night, eh?”

“That tongue still knows its way around a clit, let me tell you,” Bell-mère grinned devilishly. Both her daughters grew pale at the admission and immediately excused themselves from the table, neither in the mood for the conversation to go from zero to a hundred in less than a sentence.

Fine—ask about details, then run away at the details. Bell-mère chomped on dry cereal and wondered how she got two prudes for daughters.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Please don’t embarrass me more than they already do,” Law warned. He had his three best friends piled into his sensible, bright yellow crossover—Polar Tang—in the middle of making the huge mistake of driving them to the Straw Hats’ lair on a Saturday morning. They were already on the freeway, headed from the city towards the outer suburbs.

“We get it, we get it: you’re in it for the tight-ass pussy,” Shachi scoffed from the back seat. Penguin hit his shoulder in jest.

“If he was in it for just pussy, he wouldn’t be bringing us to the weirdo, sus-as-fuck party house in the middle of buttfuck-nowhere he goes to get said pussy in,” the other backseat gremlin said, tone rather matter-of-fact. “We’re a nurse and a couple of techs—how would we be embarrassing to a surgeon?”

“By talking about pussy the entire time,” Bepo stated flatly. He looked at Law and saw his grip on the steering wheel was unusually clenched. “Do you want me to drive?”

“No… I just need to remember this conversation for the next time I get asked why those two don’t just bite the bullet and get full nursing degrees instead of being the most overqualified nursing techs in the East Blue.”

“This,” Shachi said, pointing at himself with the first two fingers on both hands, “being able to sign off on patient care-related shit, would be dangerous and you know it.”

“It’s best for everyone involved that we stay Bepo’s gofers, because that makes us available as your gofers, and if we suddenly have to worry about shit like responsibilities, then where would you be?”

“Able to have competence on all my shifts?” Law snarked.

While tuning out the indignant protests in the back seat, Law turned off the freeway and headed towards Foosha Township, where Sunny Road was located. It was generally a tranquil road, with clusters of houses now and then to breakup wooded areas and the occasional farm. The car was thankfully quiet as he turned down a wooded drive, with Penguin breaking the silence as the conspicuously large house came into view.

“Law? Is this Straw Hat kid, like, loaded?”

“I don’t ask, so you don’t ask,” Law sighed. He parked the car on the front lawn next to Franky’s turquoise muscle car and turned to fully glare at the hooligans in the backseat. “Strawhat-ya’s not fully legit, but I don’t think he’s technically breaking any laws, and the cops here like him for some reason, so don’t fuck it up.”

“I thought you said the kid’s nineteen,” Penguin frowned. “How are you not wholly-legit at nineteen?!”

“Like I said: don’t ask.” Law then unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the Tang, getting some cloth shopping bags and his backpack from the trunk before heading around to the back of the house. It was just Luffy and his brothers there, all three splashing about in the shallow end of the pool while wearing arm floaties and inner tubes.

“TORAO!” Luffy squealed in delight. He jumped out of the pool and ran towards the surgeon—floatation devices and all—who got a sopping wet hug whether he liked it or not. “I was hoping that you’d come over today! Ace and Sabo are here! And Auncle Iva’s coming later! Grunkle Rayleigh can’t though because Grauntie Shakky made him promise something, and…”

“Strawhat-ya, I want you to meet the friends I was telling you about,” Law said, turning so that Luffy could get a good look at them. “That’s Penguin and Shachi, they’re nursing techs on my floor, and Bepo there’s one of the floor and hospital’s best charge nurses. We’ve known each other for ages.”

“Any friend of Torao’s a friend of mine!” Luffy grinned. He wrapped the two techs in a noodly hug, making them gurgle. “Oh! Yeah! Ace! Sabo! Say hi to Torao and his friends!”

“Luff, you’re going to kill them with affection,” Ace smirked.

“Yeah,” Sabo agreed with a laugh. “I don’t think we have enough space to bury more bodies in the backyard.”

“Please tell me that was a joke,” Shachi squeaked.

Law opted to not respond to that and instead left Penguin and Shachi in Luffy’s clutches while he and Bepo brought the bags in. Sanji was already in the kitchen prepping, while Usopp, Franky, and Brook played a racing game on the television.

“Did you get the goods?” the chef asked, pointing at Law with a knife. Law put one of the bags down and pulled out a bag of white powder covered in Wanolese script, which he threw at the man.

“I feel like I just watched a drug deal,” Bepo deadpanned.

“Even better than drugs,” Sanji claimed. “I don’t use a lot of it, but I’m practicing dishes from Wano for whenever it is Luff makes good on his threat to temporarily kidnap the consul’s son again.”

“Say the word ‘borrow’; it’s less incriminating,” Usopp shouted from the living room, not even taking his eyes off the game once.

“It’s just MSG,” Law shrugged.

“Yeah, but the good shit,” Sanji emphasized. He helped Law and Bepo unpack the rest of the bags and put everything away—odds and ends that weren’t of much consequence, but would be dangerous if missing later. “Nami-swan’s with Robin-chan picking Chopper up from school, by the way. They won’t be in until after lunch.”

That made Law’s eyebrows raise. “Sakura U is in Drum County. Four hours just driving round-trip.”

“Yeah, I know; I helped move the kid in freshman year.”

“Nami never volunteers to go get Chopper… unless…”

“Sounds like her mom’s getting some speecy-spicy dating action this week and she doesn’t want to hear about it,” Franky laughed. “I give the woman credit; she’s super feisty.”

“My dad just started dating again too—I get it,” Law said. “There are just some things you don’t want to hear… or learn… or think about…”

“If my old geezer started dating again, I’d die,” Sanji admitted with a shudder.

“Saaaame,” Usopp chimed in. The race ended and the teen groaned. “Brook! You are literally older than video games themselves! How did you beat me?!”

“I guess I’m a gamer down to my bones… which is all of me!” Brook cackled. “Law’s friend! Would you like to join us for the next round?”

“Uh… sure…” Bepo said warily. He sat down next to Usopp and accepted the fourth controller. “Are there any bear characters?”

As Usopp explained the game mechanics to Bepo, Law took his backpack up to Nami’s room and began to set himself up for later that night. He took care of the shit like condoms and lube because he wasn’t a goddamned barbarian and didn’t want his girlfriend to get worried if in the chaos of everything she forgot her medication for a couple days. It was just part of being a responsible adult and not some skeezebag looking to fuck how he wanted and whom he wanted without thinking about repercussions. The thought of a physical consequence crossed his mind as he shut the nightstand drawer and shuddered—Cora-san as a grandfather of all things would be something he’d need more than a few months to brace for.

“Law, there you are, holy shit.” He looked over his shoulder to see Penguin and Shachi both standing there, looking precisely the amount of moist that would be appropriate if they had been dragged into the pool against their will. Not only that, but they appeared to be absolutely flabbergasted by the entire situation they found themselves in. “That’s the second-in-command of the Revolutionary Army in the pool… the national-level political party, not state-level!”

“I know, Penguin.”

“…and the other’s one of the lieutenants of the Moby City mayor!”

“I know, Shachi.”

“…and apparently the host of Impel Drag Race is ‘popping by’ later?!”

“…and the straw-hat kid’s referring to the former state lieutenant governor as his grunkle?!”

“…and the one in the kitchen you had us go to six specialty import stores for is sous chef and heir to the Baratie?!”

“…and apparently your girlfriend is currently on a fetch quest to haul over here one of the few who can out-prodigy you when it comes to medicine?!”

“…a kid, may I remind you, whose grandparents are part of the reason why we even have world-class medicine in Greater Logue Town, let alone the state?!”

“…and Bepo’s getting his ass handed to him in video games by the Soul King himself…?!”

“I get it: we stick out the least despite the fact you two hold multiple state-level swimming records each, I’m the youngest surgeon in all departments at Logue Town General by at least a decade, and Bepo’s a bear,” Law reminded them casually. “To consider this as anything close to a normal party house is sort of a disgrace to the very concept of a party house.”

“This place is batshit,” Penguin stated. “It also might break physics because it feels like it’s bigger on the inside.”

“That’s your crisis to work through, not mine,” Law said. He reached into the nightstand drawer and pulled out two single wrapped condoms, throwing them at his friends. “Be careful; if Hancock-ya shows up tonight, she’s going to bring the whole team, and I know how strong of a will you two have in front of a pretty face and thick thighs.”

“Wait, what…?” Shachi gaped. Law shrugged.

“The captain of the Amazon Lily roller derby team out of Kuja has a weird crush on Strawhat-ya that he doesn’t quite recognize and when she’s here, the entire team is here.”

“Law, have we ever expressed how much we truly appreciate your friendship?” Penguin said, his and Shachi’s demeanor clearly changed. They were in such awe that tears were beginning to well in their eyes. “This could honestly be the best night of our lives!”

“Step-on-me-pussy is literally the best pussy,” Shachi added with a sniffle. “We are in your debt.”

“Remember that next time I need changed dressings, blood draws, and vitals from everyone in the unit half an hour before shift change,” Law warned. His friends didn’t hear him—they were too busy imagining the possibilities for later on.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“What does it say about everything that you still don’t strike me as an adopt-into-single-fatherhood sort of man?” Bell-mère asked. She was at Cora’s for the evening, glad that the mysterious kid of his was gone with friends for the weekend. Picking up a picture frame from an end table, she looked at the image of her former comrade-in-arms hugging a sullen tween with Reverse Mountain National Park in the background. “Cute kid though.”

“Yeah, that’s from not long after I became his official guardian,” Cora said from the kitchen. “He was sick when I got him—didn’t think he’d make it past thirteen.”

“No shit. Now you said he’s in his twenties?”

“Yeah—went into medicine; his birth family was full of doctors and I think he wants to honor them that way. Works at Logue Town General and everything.”

“Who knows? He might know my youngest daughter’s beau.” Bell-mère went into the kitchen and sat at the table, watching Cora cook on the electric range—the only reason he wasn’t spontaneously bursting into flame while cooking their dinner. “She’s fucking some doctor who’s got to be closer to our age than hers if the intel we get from her friends is anything.”

“Possibly, though there’s a lot of doctors in LTG.”

“True.” She watched as he splashed some sauce on himself accidentally. “Sure you don’t need help?”

“I’m sure,” he winced. “So, what about you? Still never gave me an answer about the girls.”

“Something just clicked in my brain, you know?” she shrugged, taking it upon herself to pour the wine instead. “I’m sure you had a moment like that with your son.”

“Yeah, but Bell-mère the Beast? Adopting two little orphans while out on deployment?”

“You blew your cover on a covert job when you left, and the only reason you’re not dead is because it involved infiltrating your brother’s criminal empire and you both are worth more to him alive and unperturbed.”

“Technicalities,” Cora scoffed. He brought two plates of food to the table and sat down. “Things are still a little frosty between Sengoku and me for it, but I’d do it all over again and I’m sure you feel the same.”

“Beyond a doubt.” She ate some of the rice on her plate and chuckled. “At least fatherhood made you a decent home cook.”

“I’ll show you what else I’m still decent at after dessert,” he teased. She snorted in laughter—of course he would, because of course he was.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was late that night as Law and Nami both laid in bed, curled up together with their naked bodies flush against one another. The house was finally quiet and they could both just relax—a rare treat for the place they were currently occupying.

“Hey… Nami…?” He could feel her smile against his chest at the dropped honorific; something he did only when they were alone.

“Yeah…?”

“Is this… what you want…?”

She sat up and stared at him, raising one perfectly manicured eyebrow in a curious arch. “What do you mean by that?”

“Having the extent of our relationship being sneaking off to fuck in the middle of a house party?” He tried to shrug aloofly, but was too taken in by the sight of her in the moonlight to do more than twitch. “Would you like to be… I dunno… more involved…?”

“Depends on your definition,” she replied. She hugged her knees as she looked at him, the very sexy and very naked man in her bed bringing a tattooed arm up in order to rub circles on her back.

“Seeing one another without any of our friends needing to be there,” he mused. “Showing up at one another’s workplaces as a surprise, meeting my dad… your mom and sister…” He exhaled heavily, avoiding eye contact by staring at her shoulder tattoo. “I’m not saying commitment, but…”

“I get it; you want to know what’s on the table, if you need to keep future options in mind.”

“I guess.” He paused, trying to find the words. “I don’t mind if we’re a temporary thing…”

“You can say ‘fling’. I won’t be insulted.”

“Okay, fine: I don’t care if this is a fling and we drift apart or we’re actually friends with damn good benefits or I’m just what you’re into for now and you drop me like a rock next month. I mean… I’m getting sex out of it… sex with you…”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” she reminded him, patting the bit of blanket covering his dick. “This is working for more than just you, trust me.”

“What I’m saying is…” he swallowed hard, “if you’d like, I’m willing to start exploring what a life together might be like.”

“See if we like what’s being laid down?”

“Pretty much. We’d need to meet each other’s parents first—hiding you from my dad any longer than I have to will be torture.”

“Well, I’ve never tried the meet-the-parents routine with anyone except for friends, so if you want to try, I’d say it’s worth a shot.”

A small smile twisted the corner of his mouth upwards. “Yeah…?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Law exhaled, only then he realized he had been holding his breath. “Okay. We can do this…? We can do this. I mean, we’re adults.”

“We are.” She then laid back down, settling herself between his arm and his chest. “Let’s talk about it more after some sleep. Then I’ll tell my mom when I get home.”

“…and I’ll tell Cora-san.”

“Wait…” she giggled incredulously. “Your dad’s name is Cora?”

“It’s an old nickname,” he grumbled, “but it is what he prefers to be called. I’ll break that down for you later as well.”

“No, it’s just funny because that’s the name of the woman my mom’s dating. Sorting through the Two Cora Situation is going to be a group bonding exercise in of itself.”

“I guess so.” He closed his eyes as he felt Nami bring the blankets around them again, taking in the wonderful silence of the night.

Well, it was silent for people without really good hearing, as he could have sworn he heard Shachi sob through an orgasm in another room. Only his friends could ruin a moment and not even be there.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The following morning went the average amount of well an after-party morning could go. Most of the house denizens were some version of worn-out thanks to either staying up late, copious amounts of alcohol, or both. The pair of Kuja that stayed the night with Penguin and Shachi both left early—Law had still been on his first cup of coffee when they did—dragging along the smitten Hancock with them. The surgeon watched as his friends found their way into the back by the pool, plopping down at the little table next to him as he scrolled through news headlines on his phone.

“You’ve been holding out,” Penguin scolded.

“Yeah,” Shachi said, expression to be too relaxed to be anything but blissful. “We got them on social and everything. What took you so long to bring us here?”

Law shrugged through his coffee, which his friends refused to accept for an answer. They both glared at him, waiting for whole minutes until he cracked.

“I wanted to make sure of it… you know.” He contemplated his next sentence, thought better of it, and went through with it anyhow. “I’m having her meet Cora-san.”

“Oh, fuck,” Shachi cringed. “That’s… that’s a hell of a step for you.”

“The number of people that have both met your dad and seen your dick is extremely small, and the list even exists in the first place purely due to changing rooms and nothing sexual,” Penguin noted.

“Yeah, you think I don’t realize that?” Law fired back. “Nami-ya and me, Cora-san and his… lady-friend I’m surprised actually exists, and Nami-ya’s mom with her lady-friend—just going to tear the bandage off and get us all together.”

Shachi let out a low whistle. “Oooh… you got it bad.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Law grunted. “I’m putting up with Strawhat-ya to be with her, so might as well.”

It was then that Luffy, almost if on-cue, ran out of the house and did a cannonball into the pool, splashing water all over Law, but not Penguin and Shachi. The latter two tried to hide their giggles as a now-familiar shishishi echoed through the yard.

Yeah, he had it bad alright.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

As it turned out, it didn’t take long for Law to get a hold of everyone’s schedules. After looking at the family calendar and swiping her mother’s phone while she was in the shower, Nami was able to confirm that three weeks from that Tuesday worked well. He felt a sense of triumph as they coordinated the event, all the way down to the thumbs-up emojis that were sent his way when she asked her mom to join them.

Now, for the big one. It was luckily Law’s turn to make dinner that Monday, which meant that he was able to have everything ready by the time Cora-san came home from work. The older man raised an eyebrow when he saw his son in the kitchen with food nearly ready.

“Anything the matter?” he asked.

“Nothing’s wrong; just sit.” Cora did and Law brought over two plates of carbonara. “I just want a nice dinner for once.”

“Not complaining,” Cora nodded. He twirled some pasta on his fork and took a large bite, proceeding to talk with his mouth full. “So… you gonna tell me what this is about…?”

Fuck, busted.

“Okay, I’m going to need you to listen to me and not get too excited,” Law frowned. Cora perked up, his attention piqued. “Since we’re both dating someone…”

“…yeah…?”

“I thought it would be nice if we took a very non-committal step to clear the air and all meet one another.” Sparkles formed in the older man’s eyes and Law almost instantly regretted it. “She’s inviting her mom and mom’s girlfriend, while I’m supposed to invite you and… whatever it is that you consider a hot date. You know… be adults.”

“A triple date! How social of you! This young lady of yours must be doing wonders for your tolerance levels!” A thought then came to Cora and he instantly grew serious. “The crew isn’t jealous, are they?”

“Shachi and Penguin were both ‘stepped on’ by tri-state roller derby champions over the weekend and Bepo has decided that he’s determined to mentor this kid who we hang around now so he also doesn’t get the life sucked out of him by being a teenager in med school.”

“Then they approve! Excellent! Let the appropriate parties know and we can set up a day and time! Oh, this will be fun!”

“I was thinking three weeks from tomorrow, at a place near the hospital so it can be for lunch. We double-checked your schedules.”

“Not a dinner-date here…?”

“No, because I want to keep your shenanigans to a minimum, and that’s usually achievable when you’re trapped in a booth seat.”

“Well, you’re not wrong,” he admitted. “I’ll pass the word along tonight.”

“Thanks—let me know if anything comes up.”

“Oh, not a problem.” Cora couldn’t stop his wide smile as he looked at his son across the table. “You’ve come a long way, you know.”

“Yeah,” he blushed, “I know.”

“They’d be proud.”

“I know.”

“Now: does this mean I’m getting grandkids?”

It honestly took all Law had to not fling pasta in Cora’s face.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Later that night, Cora found himself having his final smoke of the evening before turning in for bed. Law was already asleep—kid’s circadian rhythm had always been fucked—and that meant that Cora was able to take his cigarette on the patio in peace without hearing his boy nag him about emphysema and other such things. He was nearly done when his phone buzzed: The Beast.

“Hey,” he answered, applying a suave tone to his voice.

“You said you wanted to talk about something?” Bell-mère asked. The text was actually a request to call when she was free, but he wasn’t complaining. “Is this about phone sex? Because I am actually in the mood for some phone sex…”

“We can do that later—there is something I want to get out of the way first.”

“Who’s dying?”

“No one,” Cora said cheerily. He stubbed out the cigarette and made his way back into the house. “It’s just my boy’s decided to coordinate something between us, so we can meet his girlfriend and her mom and mom’s girlfriend!”

“A triple date? With mostly people he doesn’t know? Kind of a lot for a kid that only tolerates hanging out with three people aside from his girlfriend.”

“Well, rumor has it that he met her at a party, and he tolerates her friends, so who knows?” Cora was beaming brightly as he looked at himself in the mirror next to the door—this was the sort of thing that was a rite of passage, wasn’t it? Meeting your kid’s significant other? Her mom? Oh, it was exciting! Was this a sign something more was on the horizon?! “He was thinking of going and doing something low-key: lunch at this restaurant that’s near the hospital.”

The line went quiet for a moment. “…Don Silver?”

“Yeah! I guess he and his friends go there during and after shifts a lot. It’s the kind of place that doesn’t need a reservation, but he’s asking them to set aside a table for us anyhow since he’s such a good regular.” Cora then paused, expression falling “How did you know?”

“My daughter wants us to meet her old-man-doctor-boyfriend, his dad, and dad’s girlfriend for lunch there. Tuesday at one?”

“…oh.”

Both Cora and Bell-mère were silent—no… it couldn’t be…

“Belle…?”

“Yeah…?”

“Did she tell you what the reservation was under…?”

“Her old-man-doctor-boyfriend’s name, but it’s not Donquixote…”

“I never gave him my family name, Belle. The adoption papers went through too slow for it to take effect before he started med school, even if he wanted to change it.”

“It’s a weird name, hold on, she wrote it down for me…” He heard a rustling of paper and then her grunting as she attempted to figure out how to pronounce it. “Tra… Tra-faye-el-gar?”

“Trafalgar; my son’s family name is Trafalgar.”

“Huh.” Cora began to chew at his fingernails and pace the kitchen as his mind began to race and the woman on the other end contemplated. He then began to pace and tug at his hair.

“Belle…?”

Nothing.

“Belle, answer me.”

Silence.

“Belle…?!”

“So,” she chuckled, “wanna fuck with ‘em?”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Don Silver was a well-patronized family restaurant within walking distance of Logue Town General, which made it the perfect location for Law to slip out to during his shift, but also to slip back in should an emergency arise. He left Bepo in charge of his patients until he came back, promising to stay late if he was out so long it threw everything off. When he walked into the restaurant, the owner simply gestured to the usual back booth he normally haunted with his friends, seeing that Nami was already there.

“Ah, there you are,” she chuckled, exchanging a quick peck as he sat down next to her. “Everything seems like it’s going as planned. Nojiko was a little irritated that she wasn’t invited, but she’ll get her chance.”

“Yeah, she will,” he agreed. Law felt as though his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. “I still can’t believe we’re doing this.”

“I know… kind of exciting, isn’t it?” She leaned in close and pressed a kiss to the back of his jaw, smiling as she saw how confused the owner was at the scene. “I should have you know that you might not be on the list of favorites after this.”

“Your mom that big of a menace?”

“More like Gin over there and Sanji have had beef since culinary school,” she chuckled. Law caught that the owner was staring at them and he shrugged—how could he have known? “Oh, hey, there’s Bell-mère!”

“…and that’s Cora-san,” Law noted. He watched has his foster father held open the door for Nami’s mother. “Wait a second… where’s their dates…?”

“That is… huh…” Nami trailed off as Cora and Bell-mère made their way to the table. Both parents decided to slide directly into the booth seating, with the leggy, clumsy one on the inside. “Do we need to wait for the others, or…?”

“There’s no others; what are you talking about?” Bell-mère scoffed. A waiter came over to deposit some glasses of water—a handled mug for Cora, as they were warned beforehand—and battered menus, leaving the four to their own devices for the time being. “It’s just us and our manfriends, although I’m honestly impressed you went as old as you did considering mine’s just a year younger than me…”

“Nojiko and I have been under the impression you’ve been seeing a woman named Cora…”

“Short for Corazón,” Bell-mère shrugged. “That was your codename out in the field, right hon?”

“It was, wasn’t it, Law?” Cora smirked. He tried very hard to not notice the deep sense of confusion his son was radiating. “You’ve been here a lot; what’s good?”

After some awkward deliberation, the waiter came back and took their orders and the menus while depositing a breadbasket. A silence settled over the table once the waiter left, one that made the younger couple hold hands underneath the table for strength, while the older couple decided to put their plan into action.

Operation Fuck with the Brats was a-go.

“We want to thank both of you for meeting us like this,” Cora said seriously, deciding to be the one to break the ice. He nearly couldn’t stop himself from bursting into laughter as he watched panic settle in on his son’s face. “It’s not exactly the sort of thing we want to talk about when I’m liable to trip while wandering around the house.”

“What…?” Nami wondered, cocking her eyebrow.

“Man’s a complete klutz,” Bell-mère said before Law could explain. “Let’s just hope it’s not inheritable.”

All the color left Nami and Law’s faces at once.

“What… erm… do you mean by that…?” the younger woman asked. Bell-mère shrugged.

“Eh, just putting shit down in the right places,” she replied. “Should’ve done it years ago, but never had the reason, until now…”

“Cora-san…? What is she talking about…?” Law asked, his voice faint. His foster father grinned widely.

“We wanted you two to be our Best Man and Maid of Honor!” he beamed. “You’d be perfect for the job! It doesn’t even get into being Emergency Guardians…”

“Oh I’m going to be sick,” Nami grimaced.

“Don’t you dare, you little shit,” Bell-mère warned. “I would think it’d be an honor. You did always want to be an older sister growing up.”

“…and we’re already on the older side for a baby, so having their older siblings be the ones to take care of them in case we can’t is perfect!”

Law sank into the booth, completely dumbstruck. Cora-san…?! And Nami’s mom…?! He was almost regretting not making this meeting at the Southern Blue pub down the street—at least they had a liquor license. “Does Doflamingo know about this…?”

“My brother wouldn’t know what to do with a kid if he had one walk in his front door,” Cora scoffed. “I know because I watched it happen. Multiple times.” The mortification on the younger couple’s faces was definitely worth the ruse; the kids seemed to be inventing new stages of grief. “Speaking of front doors—Bell-mère’s moving in since there’s more room, so you have the choice of staying in your current room or out elsewhere.”

“Nami, you and Nojiko get to fight it out over what to do with where we’re at now,” Bell-mère added. “Just don’t rent it out to any of your weirdo friends—I’d like the place to stay intact, thank you.”

“You have to be fucking with us,” Nami decided. She dug into her purse and whipped out her phone. “I’m calling Nojiko.”

“Go ahead, be that way,” Bell-mère said. She watched as Nami hit the button to dial her sister and held the phone up to her ear.

“So…? How’s it going…?” Ah, fuck, she sounded too smug.

“Nojiko, did you know anything about this?”

“…about what…?”

“…about why the hell our mom decided to meet my boyfriend so easily…”

“Ooohhhh, that,” Nojiko replied, a grin on her voice. “Yeah, she should have told us that her kinky reconnect was a dude before she got herself all prego. She offered me Maid of Honor first, but I said you can have it since you’d actually want to sleep with the geriatric Best Man…”

“I fucking hate you all,” Nami said before ending the call. She put her phone screen-down on the table and glared at her mother. “You are absolutely mortifying.”

“I am what I am,” Bell-mère shrugged. She then wrinkled her nose and looked at Cora with a frown. “Oh… the kid’s gonna be a Donquixote, isn’t it…?”

“Unless you’ve got a better idea.”

“Then how do you suggest we tell your brother? Ease him in gently or just let him discover on his own?”

“I honestly don’t know which would be worse.”

“Your brother—that’s up to you. Oh! Food’s here!”

Sure enough Bell-mère did notice their food coming out the kitchen as the waiter dropped off the plates cheerily. Both Law and Nami really didn’t feel like eating anymore, while their parents both began to pick at their fries…

…and laughed.

“Ah, fuck, we really had you going!” Bell-mère snorted.

“Your faces are priceless,” Cora added.

“So… you’re not having a baby…” Nami stated.

“…and you’re not getting married,” Law continued.

“Tch; don’t think I’m ready to settle down quite yet,” Bell-mère scoffed. “Besides, this klutzy nightmare? Fuck baby-proofing—I’d have to Rosi-proof.”

“Then you’re not seeing one another…?” Law knew it was dangerous to be hopeful. He was anyhow, only for his hopes to be dashed against the floor unceremoniously like a slippery water glass.

“Sorry to burst that bubble, kids, but I am one-hundred-percent fucking this goober despite all logic and reasoning telling me that I probably shouldn’t,” Bell-mère shrugged. “Didn’t think I’d be with a man again after we last hooked up in the Marines, but I have to admit he’s improved with age.”

“Belle…” Cora giggled, blushing furiously. “That’s still my son and his cute girlfriend…”

“…and that’s my daughter and her geriatric manfriend,” she replied. “They’re adults; I think they can handle it.”

To be honest? Neither Law nor Nami wanted anything to do with anything at that very moment.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was actually a fucking gorgeous day as Law laid face-down on the grass in the backyard at 1000 Sunny Drive. He hadn’t thought it was particularly appropriate to show his face at Luffy’s sus-as-fuck party house in the middle of buttfuck-nowhere after what had happened earlier in the week, but Bepo and the goons insisted. While the bear chatted amiably with Chopper and Kaya (how the fuck did Usopp of all the kids got himself a girlfriend? That he wasn’t having sex with yet? No one really knew), Penguin and Shachi were biding their time before the Amazons Lilys showed up (and let’s be real: the nursing techs knew they were the lay-conquest), while Law… he was just trying to not die of embarrassment.

“So…” a voice said, almost consolingly. “You fucked your sister.”

“She is not my sister, Roronoa-ya,” Law replied. He didn’t need to look to see the kendo genius standing there, nor that it was the chef who nudged him in the side with his foot.

“Well, your parents fucked before you did, so that makes you siblings.”

“That does not make them siblings, mossbrain,” Sanji scoffed. “Come on, Law. What do you think you’re going to achieve by doing all this sulking?”

“I’m touching grass; go away.”

“I don’t think that’s what they mean, but keep telling yourself that. Besides, you know the marimo never learned about sex-ed, birds or bees. I bet his old man would have reproduced via budding if he could and skipped the adoption paperwork.”

“Yours probably wishes he could bake himself a less pervy son.”

“Fuck off, you overgrown grass stain,” Sanji hissed.

“You realize none of this is helping, right?” Law said into the lawn.

“Eh; worth a shot.” Law heard Sanji flick open his lighter and the familiar smell of cigarettes hit his nose—the man smoked the same brand as Cora.

“Get away from him, you vultures,” scolded a very familiar voice. Zoro chuckled lowly as Sanji pulled him away. Once the clowns had dispersed, Nami sat down on the grass and sighed, hugging her knees.

“I blame Bell-mère for getting Nojiko in on it,” she reminded him. “She’s the reason any of these morons know anything… well, that and Sanji not having Gin blocked on social.”

“I know—it doesn’t make it any less embarrassing.”

“True, but it does mean that we’re probably going to spend holidays together at the very least, whether we’re fucking or not.” She reached over and began scratching his scalp, eliciting a heavy whine. “Look at it this way: they could have not been joking.”

“Doesn’t mean it can’t still happen,” he replied. “Pregnancy can occur all the way until post-menopause, and many are accidental.”

“Shhhh…” she soothed, smoothing his hair. “Don’t think about it.”

All he could do was squeak out a pained groan—he was a doctor… all he could do was think about it.

[mahiiimahiiii]

If you're still doing the BG3 pairings, I'd love one!

I'm Stormi, 28, INTJ, female, bi, favorite color is a deep, rich green. My favorite feature about myself are my eyes. They're this really pretty green with bits of blue and brown, and I've never seen anyone else with a set quite the same. I'm a little on the taller side for women, at 5'7", and work doing field sampling and lab analysis on drinking water! A song that describes me is Growing Sideways by Noah Kahan. My hobbies/things about me include crocheting, playing D&D, and raising my 4yo.

Side note, my daughter is obsessed with Astarion, and it's hilarious. She literally refers to BG3 as my "Astarion Game".

hiiii! thank you for you ask!! i just tucked in with some kimchi mac n cheese so i'll be happy.

your eyes sound quite lovely, reminiscent of a pond with algae growths, perfect for the fishes. (if that sounds off-putting i'm so sorry, i mean it with the utmost love)

you give me the perfect karlachs loving girlfriend vibes. very cozy, smoky. i feel like you would both do some sort of eco field research, it feels like a very her thing to do. a shared passion between the both of you.

i feel like y'all would be the wlw couple everyone would envy if that makes sense. like i would see y'all on my dash, and i would point and cry and piss my pants. (again, utmost affection.)

i think the best date, and this will sound silly: roller skating. scents of sweet sticky candies, and very plasticine nacho cheese. i feel like the dates would always end with some form of stargazing and shitty food.

sounds like the perfect date to me honestly.

a small token of her affection would be spent pulling you into silly dances if music plays over the speakers.

she is cringe and free with you :))

[mermaidsirennikita]

Favorite sm lavoilette offerings so far??

Hmmmm

So I'm on the 8th book I've read by her, and none of them have been below a 4/5 tbh. I really enjoy the LaViolette~ brand, though I will of course be reading more Minerva Spencer too (I've 3? of her books I think, all good, but you can of course tell a difference between her trad stuff and her indie stuff).

I'll just rank the books I've read so far.

Hyacinth--I just found this incredibly hot and entertaining. I love a book that's all about a casual relationship becoming more against everyone's will, and I really found myself adoring Hyacinth. The way her neurodivergence was portrayed really resonated with me. And SYLVESTER! Such a great hero. Scarred, slutty, deeply in love but doesn't want to cop to it. And they're switches! I really love switches in romance. You get to have a bit of both. Everyone is happy.

Joss and The Countess--UGH. HOT. EMOTIONAL. This really is, though, one of the hottest historicals I've ever read. But in an angsty way. But in a funny way. Like, Joss and Alicia are both very practical, down to earth people who've been hardened by the world, but they act like total idiots with each other because LOVE. And I really dig that. I gotta say.

The Footman--YOU PLAYED YOURSELF, the book. Revenge fantasy turned grovel fantasy. There are few grovels I've read that are quite as satisfying to read as this one. And it features one of my favorite things, that I frankly don't think we see enough in grovel books today--when he fucks up? She just LEAVES. She just NOPES OUT. And he's like "?????????? WORLD MEANINGLESS NOW".

Melissa and The Vicar--I've waxed poetic about how good this is *quite* a bit, but it really is that good. Another one where the heroine leaves (and not because the hero fucked up but because she hates herself and thinks he's too good for her, naturally) and the hero tracks her down. And he's CRAZY. And he's UPSET. And he just lost his virginity on A COUCH. Bless, Magnus. (Lmao though there's also a very dear scene where Melissa tells him that she's not a virgin and he's like "oh... that's okay... I thought we'd lose it to each other but don't worry" which is when she realizes that Magnus, is, in fact, a virgin).

Hugo and The Maiden--An extremely annoying but also extremely successful sex worker ending up framed for a crime and transported before ultimately washing up on an island where he falls for a vicar's daughter who thinks he ain't shit is honestly so good. Also, as a note, I really like how casual these books are about sexuality? Like, they're set in a fairly accurate world, there's no pretense that Hugo wouldn't be hugely in trouble if he got caught having sex with men (for money or otherwise) by the authorities, but his bisexuality is just a thing and he's not super concerned about it on a personal level. And the same is done with Melissa, who's not only also bi, but prefers the company of women most of the time until she meets Magnus. Not in a "he makes her straight" way, of course, but like... men suck, and Melissa kinda preferred women.

Phoebe--I feel like this is the most conventional LaViolette I've read, and it's still kinda weird, which speaks to how delightfully odd I find these books. But it's still so good. The heroine's mom (who SUCKS) being like "I don't know girl, just like, drug yourself before your wedding night because that man clearly has a giant dick" is... hilarious. This book gives BIG North and South Starring Richard Armitage vibes.

The Postilion--this is last for me, but not because it's bad. It's honestly a really bold book that I'd totally recommend. It's just my least favorite of the bunch I've read so far. That said, the hero being lowkey a lil subby and delighted by how tall and husky-voiced the heroine is...? And her being obsessed with his ass? All good things.

[mvshortcut]

🪳🐝 🦗!! Whichever one/combination, if you please! (This is a very neat Ask Game; I haven't seen one like it before, and I love that it's bugs)

🪳 Recommend a great AU!

I chose two wips for this one!

"Safe Harbor" by @arr0wsafe - this is such a cool fantasy AU and I absolutely adore it

"A Coin is Flipped, and it Accidentally Lands on its Sixth Side" by @second-violin - swap AU where Martina, SQ, and Jackson and Jillson are the protagonists! There's also two other oneshots in this series!

🐝 Recommend a fic with great symbolism, or themes, something really clever, or like. just something you could write a whole literary essay about!

"here's to (never) growing up" by @mollyhats/@binnudacademy - centers on the four kids during TPJ. Really captures the feeling of being a child alone in the big world for the first time. One of my absolute favorite mbs fics

"I love you. (I'm glad I exist.)" by @sqenthusiast - the twins' relationship as kids, based off the orange poem my beloved

🦗 Recommend any fic, wild card!

"affectionate gestures<3: Ch 8: patch - Mr. Benedict and Constance" by @bi-demon-ium - I absolutely adore this entire series, but especially this one. having father & daughter feelings

"The Two Mr. Benedicts" by @myfairkatiecat - Hilarious. Constance and Curtain bullying. need I say more

"Constance Discovers Capitalism" by @acollectionofcuriousreblogs - ft. Constance venturing out into the big wide world (the convenience store to buy candy). Curtain ruins her day, as he is wont to do.

[wolfsbanesparks]

Out of curiosity what do you think of the nightwing/starfire ship? I'm a multi shipper, but this one is cute to me. Like, its really adorable and hilarious that batman, emo, dark, and serious, could have a daughter in law who is all bright and sparkly, not to mention an alien princess/royalty, totally out of place in Gothom. Do you have a favorite ship for Nightwing?

I am also a multishipper! My general stance is that if you can show me a good story or a fun dynamic then I'll be on board with just about any ship!

For Nightwing in particular I do really enjoy him and Starfire together. I used to be obsessed with them when I watched Teen Titans and my appreciation for them has only grown since then. They're fun and flashy and affectionate! Their honestly so iconic to me.

Nightwing/Starfire is probably my favorite Nightwing ship, closely followed by Dick/Wally. (Bi Nightwing rights lol). But like I said I'm open to most ships.