#my heart even after 3 years
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Looking through my old art I made so many pieces to try and work through/cope with all the feelings that last 3 episodes of Supernatural caused (there were so many). These 4 pieces are still some of my favorites even if they are old.
#fanart#fan art#castiel#supernatural#cas#art#destiel#deancas#dean winchester#castiel winchester#destiel fanart#destiel fandom#remember november 5#my heart even after 3 years#feels like it will explode from#all the feels#creator: ladyrandombox#artist ladyrandombox
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figure skating set right now please. thanks
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#GUYS I AM PUTTING OFF WORKING ON MY COSPLAY SOMETHING STUPID. im tireddddd i like sleeepingggff i want to play and drawwwww#after work I literally ate a giant bowl of mac n cheese and climbed into bed. lifestyle choices of a 9 year old#anyways i want figure skaitng set. bad. PJSK HAS A WEIRDLY LOW NUMBER OF ACTUALLY WINTERY SETS... like 3. kind of.#i have some thumbnail sketches but im kind of stumped on composition for them. my idea was a nene focus set#(IF HER NEXT FOCUS ISNT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA THEMED INWILL DIE. BADLY. THEYRE GOING TO AN OPER AHOUSE. PLEADBR)#originally my idea was for nene to be biting a medal i was very sold on it bc i love nenes competitive side#however her outfit is so nice i want it to also be part of the art .. its heavily inspired by that one iconic eunsoo lim dress#from her somewhere in time program iirc. im really undatisfied with emus dress tbh my origimal idea was to give it a phoenix look#but a lot of the firebird/phoenix skating programs have very sleek dresses and i want emus to be fluffy. the balance is hard ..#and since i want her program song to be once upon a dream from sleeping beauty i swerved to make it look a bit like auroras ? but again#it definitely feels like the weakest of everybodys ... maybe i just love her too much and want her to look the best. sorry wxs.#tsukasas outfit is supposed to look like a shooting star. easy. program music moonlight sonata 3rd movement like from dazzling light. easy.#actually i like takahashi daisukes moonlight sonata program its a medley of the 1st and 3rd movement.. i think the calm at the beginning#is best. maybe smth like that.. for his card inhad him doing a haircutter spin but again. the outfits good i want the outfit visible. damn.#ruis the one im very set on even now. girl why are you so phantom of the opera.#it has a lot of beautiful programs to reference but the outfit i didnt really have any solid reference i kind of just balled#my main idea was to make it look a bit like both christine and the phantom.... gender Fluid.#my yapfest... i should be SEWING!!!!!!!!#despite my yapping im not that well versed in figure skating i cant really distinguish jumps i just like it . and medalist#i only do normal skating. bc i played hockey for like 7 years LOLLLL inlove skating though Heart.
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A gift made for the lovely @/my_kka back in 2021 for the Moshang Secret Santa 💖
A - angels & demons AU
B - crime lord & photojournlist AU
C - flower shop AU
#moshang#gift exchange#old art moved for posterity#I have such a soft spot in my cold dead heart for these 3 pieces even after 3 years#Mykka if you see this and want to be tagged scream at me pls 💕
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I beat Veilguard.
It's 4am. I'm a mess. I'm in tears.
#datv spoilers#the moment that completely broke me#''Ich entlasse Euch aus meinen Diensten''#Ar lasa mala revas#you are free#and so am I.. I feel like I've ascended from Solavellan Hell to Solavellan Heaven after ten flippin years#I think an embrace would have hit me even harder than a kiss at the end.. but it was just done so beautifully#I've always had one wish for Solas' story regardless of all the speculation and theories made over the years#and that was for him to find peace#so these are mostly tears of joy#I'm too overwhelmed to find the right words now#this game had many glaring problems to me but I still had a great time and there are many things to love#and maybe I mourn the potential of what could have been#the Veil still being up is.... very unexpected to say the least?#but Act 3 was incredible and god did that ending hit all the right spots for me#it's so strange to say ''goodbye'' to a character that you've been thinking about for so long#but I'm so thankful to have closure now#my heart is full#you know what's crazy?#right after that final cutscene ended I saw that it had actually started to snow outside for the first time this season#snow symbolizes purity or something right?#and that just made me think of how Solas used to envy Sera for her purity of purpose that he lacked#I like to think he regained it now#thinking about a little Wisdom spirit#hmm#I don't think I can sleep now#I think I'll just watch the snow a little more
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the aftermath
#uyu art#i was rewatching hxh after five? six? years#and somehow the caa seems even better now#younger me definitely didn't appreciate the arc as much as i should have#anyways sorry to these two they definitely need a long long vacation#they broke my heart here </3#hxh#killugon#killua zoldyck#gon freecss#hxh fanart#cw blood
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graduation day 🌸
#persona 3#minato arisato#makoto yuki#lizzy does art#HELLO EVERYONE... i humbly offer a minato in these trying times... are you all prepared for the wave of march 5th art bc aha! im sure not#i looked at the promised day tag on twitter and GAAAH THE WORKS ARE ALL SOOO BEAUTIFUL#truly it touches my heart that soo many people are still drawing fan art for this important day even 16 years after the game has released#this is my second time celebrating it! and i couldn't be more grateful to have met minato and see his story....#genuinely though his growth throughout p3 is sooooo loooovely and it's rlly hard to put in words. but like. god. i love my wife#dont look @ me for calling him that. i have seen other ppl call him wife material in the tags. they're right btw#oh and uh if u want u can look at my art for last year its smwhere in my art tag.... i like to think i hav improved... LOL#anyway thats all i have to say... i will rb and cry and sing to kimi no kioku tmrw since its still the 4th where i live. take care everyon!
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quizmas…a little treat…gift to everyone and me……
dividers r by @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more!!! theyre so cool!!!!!
merry christmas!!! i hope your extra holly and jolly!!!! and I hope the big red guy gives you awesome presents!!
#tumblr likes to take a FAT dookie on the quality#<- click the image 4 better quality!!!#keiko should’ve beat yusuke ass i love yusuke he’s a great character but i feel like especially at the epilogue keiko should’ve got what#she wanted..she literally YELLED that she was done waiting 3 years for yusuke and that it was time for her to get what she wanted for once#and she should’ve but apparently togashi was like “nuh uh uh girl”#she was put through hell and back (everyone was)#she should be at a nice beach building sandcastles and having fun#she literally RAN into a building that was on fire to save yusuke’s ass she was HAULING his life on her back she was CARRYING him the first#season and then she’s told to wait 3 more years for him to finally do smth in the makai you could tell she was getting sick of him#yusuke should get his ass beat EVEN MORE with what he pulled with kuwabara in chapter black like dude what the heck. Shizuru even said#“my brother…his heart is breaking…” OKAAAYYY YUSUKE OKAY YUSUKE MEET ME AFTER SCHOOL MEET ME AFTER SCHOOL 🥊🥊#kurama is secretly a little poop stainer i call it i know he would NOT shut up about kuwabara just to make yusuke flip his lid.#i know kurama secretly likes to gloat and he would do it non-stop with yusuke#ok time 4 tags srry this is rlly long i just think keiko is so cool and she should’ve got better than what she was given#yu yu hakusho#yyh#yyh kurama#yyh kuwabara#yyh yusuke#keiko yukimura#yusuke urameshi#kuwama#short comic#fan comic#kazuma kuwabara
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Since you’re really getting into the world of Jewish music, have you heard of chilik frank ? He’s a chossid who does ashkenaz/Klezmer. My absolute fav song from him is a song called ‘Rabi meir omer’ !
Ughh one thing I love about kletzmer is the emphasis on clarinet so many songs have. It makes me want to pick mine back up and play this by ear...
As well, this is how it feels to play clarinet:
#ask#jumblr#jewish music#when i was first learning clarinet in school we all had a music book and i always gravitated toward playing the jewish or kletzmer-ish song#i didn't know it was kletzmer or jewish but i knew i absolutely LOVED playing that style of music#i have ALWAYS adored how that music style has sounded. deep in my heart i knew i belonged in a kletzmer band#anon thank you <3#i SERIOUSLY need to get my claronet out but i don't know how i'd explain to my family why i'd be playing obviously 'foreign' music#i haven't picked up my clarinet in years........#do reeds expire ....#i love learning songs by playing them by ear. i learned a lot of songs through this and even made claronet parts to songs that don't have i#i'd walk around during marching band practice with my earbud in playing parts over and over. i bet it was annoying to my peers LMAO#my toxic trait was listening to music while marching and playing music (not during comps obviously just during band camp)#it was so bad i listened to one song eight hours a day (more like ten) every day for two weeks#even AFTER band camp i would replay it on my walk to my ex's house. and it was a twenth minute walk or so. it was BAD.#UMMM. apparently reeds DO expire. funny. some of my reeds i used for half a year or more#and these websites are saying to replace them biweekly? no way. no fucking way#i don't care. i'll let my reeds grow a culture of their own if they play well (slight hyperbole)#vandorens are GREAT but they're pricy. i am NOT shelling out my life savings for three reeds
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Not me creeping up to the wordcount of the fourth longest book ever written
#A Reflection of Starlight#AROS#valvert#fanfic#writing#Hey I switched back to LibreOffice again after setting up my new computer#(RIP my old computer's installation of MS Office 2009)#And also my old computer in general as it is now giving me the blue screen of death upon boot#but ANYWAY#does anybody know how to make LibreOffice stop highlighting formatted areas? BC with Dark Mode it's highlighting white text#which makes it impossible to read my footnote and page numbers#Also I CANNOT believe this program was coded to be so that 'Ignore' and 'Ignore All' options only do so for the CURRENT SESSION ONLY#Like what in god's name???#I spent 3-4 hours reformatting AROS after converting it only to learn that all the 'errors' I told it to ignore just popped back#the second I reopened the document like jesus christ#Why even offer those options if it doesn't do it permanently for that document file#HHHHHHHhhhhhhHHHHHH#I then spent another several hours being forced to change the language formatting to French for all the French bits#JUST so it would stop underlining all of them in red#And there's no way for me to get rid of the underlining on things like cut off bits of dialogue#bc they are NOT proper words and I refuse to add them to my Dictionary (thus polluting it) just to get rid of them#Ugh#So anyway remember years ago how I joked about what if I accidentally wrote a fanfic longer than the source material itself#That being one of the longest books ever written (technically THE longest book ever written#if we're counting the FRENCH version of it and not the English translation#And yeah I know I technically split AROS into 3 books but that was only for reader convenience#It's still one book in my heart#And also because I think it would be REALLY funny to surpass Hugo's wordcount#Which is entirely plausible bc in English it was only about 531k so I only a little over 100k off and I think I can easily make that#with the material I have left to write but is already mostly plotted out
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I had no clue you had a book but I just found out and I missed your writing so I made my library buy it. Hopefully others will get to pick it up when I’m done with it. I hope life has been treating you well 🤗
woah!!!! that is so sweet, i had no idea you that was even something you could do! i really hope you enjoy it, thank you so much!!! and i've been really great, i hope you are too :) ♡
#my heart :")))#unrelated but some life updates:#i've been working as a technical writer for like a year and a half now#a lot of my friends Scattered across the country after college and i was scared that i'd have trouble making friends in the Real World#but about a year ago a friend from college invited me to join a rec volleyball team even though i'd never played volleyball#and now this group of people are some of my best friends#and one of them is my boyfriend :)#he is the first relationship i've ever been in and we're in love :)#it's funny bc i write a lot of love stories and always kind of couldn't imagine myself in a relationship. and now it consumes me#if you're reading this i hope you're happy and healthy <3
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⟢ highlight of the hour: my dearest [13/20] ⟣
unexpected
#my dearest#korean drama#nam goongmin#ahn eun jin#mmkfav#mdhoth#mygif#after 300 years we finally saw these 2 together again#but it wasnt what they expected#ugh this scene just broke my heart#they were acting their butts off#the way aej spoke with her eyes!! those tears?? those eyes??#and then i could even feel jh's angst and pain and heartbreak and anger thru the screen#like i get it i truly do#i get why he was so angry upon seeing her again#how many more mins until they separate.. AGAIN#i bet we get only 3 mins of them together and then drama will once again find a way to be a troll and separate them again#smh fr fr
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Finally finished Attack on Titan. My God. Just. Wow.
#I started it when it first came out then was very odd and on#I eventually watched like 3 seasons in and never watched the last season or the long finale eps#I started getting my brother more into anime over the last like 2 years or so#he discovered AOT and finished it a while ago now and has been pushing for me to finish it too for like probably over a year at least#I’ve always been reluctant cause it’s such a heavy show and I had to be in the mood#finally the stars aligned tonight and we watched the final finale ep.#I cried several times.#it was perfect#it was painful and perfect#my fucking heart#hard to believe I finally finished it after over a decade from when I started it#and now I have lots of convos about it with my brother to look forward to#we’ve already discussed plenty tonight. but it’s getting late and idk if my brain’s even fully processed it all#attack on titan#top tier in my books#I don’t think I could ever do justice to the show trying to explain what was so good about it#gotta appreciate the little things. need to take the time to look at where I am rather than just where I want to reach.#peace and freedom are always worth reaching for even if war and suffering are inevitable to life. cherish the lives around you.#those are my takeaways from the series. those are the messages I received. and what a tragic and beautiful journey it was.
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i’m having so much fun playing stardew valley and setting up my farm and petting my animals and picking up eggs and milking my cows and watering my crops and buying my seeds and budgeting my expenses and fishing by the river and planning my day and coming across berries and seashells and corals or other villagers while going on walks and it’s like hi!! hello!! i didn’t expect to see you here but i am so glad i found you!!!
#i was having so kuch fun doing my little daily task i didn’t even watch to get a sprinkler#unfortunately watching each individual crop w/ my copper watering can does get tedious and take up like. half my energy#tdh i dint even interact w/ the npc’s much#my first year is almost over and the most i have is 2 hearts#im gonna marry abigail#but sebastian……. your telling me he READS???#stardew valley#im naming my pets after endearments but im running out#i’ve got 3 diffrent variations of sweetheart running around
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hi! oh my goodness. i am SO sorry i didn’t say anything earlier. i did read everything a couple days ago, and i Have been chewing on it, rotating it in my mind, etc etc…..and the graphic has been my phone lockscreen since i first read it!!!!!
frankly i am obsessed and have also been a little frazzled this month lol. saw your post late because of the general whirlwind that is december and then couldn’t quite get my thoughts into sufficient words n got worried “oh no would it be weird to say something now…..” which is incredibly silly in retrospect, so sorry for that.
i’m relatively new to hockey fandom and the Narratives don’t always quite click for me (yet, at least :)) because i don’t know all of the lore for a lot of the popular pairings haha, so it means a lot that you’ve taken time out of your day to break things down for me and share your own thoughts <3 tysm. again, super sorry for the delayed response. i’m very sorry if you felt as though you’d wasted your time or something along those lines :’) just wanted to let you know that i really appreciate you and the time it took you to get everything down and make the graphic!!!! and like i can’t overstate how much your tags both over here and on your other blog have helped me to Get It since the start of this season, so thank you.
but now the house is quiet, the in-laws are gone, and no new work stuff until january :) so i can finally get some stuff down. every point you brought up hits in it own way but gosh you are very incredibly right the mcstrome of it all…..that’s sort of the lens i’ve been listening to the song through since you mentioned it.
the golden boy and the “draft bust” and the ever present notion of “isn’t it all about old friends? like everything? all of it?”. like idk looking back on a bestfriendship from when you were a teenager that was Super intense and the lines were blurred and maybe realizing (if you hadn’t had the words or the “guts” or awareness or wtv to put a name to it at that point in your life) that y’all were a smidge more than just friends.
best friends forever until you just aren’t! growing up and growing apart. it’s just the way things go but it can and will ache for a damn long time! you think you’re over it until their birthday or the holidays roll around and you wonder in a distant sort of way who they’re spending it with. what you would’ve hypothetically gotten them as a present if you still spoke. what do they even like nowadays, anyway?
maybe having the friendship end subtly. going from playing and traveling together and living in one another’s pockets to 2,080 miles of distance? (i may have my timeline/details confused here so sorry in advance) texting as much as you can at first but he’s a phenom he’s mcjesus he’s the next in line he’s expected to win the cup with his new team and end the drought for Canada. and they have him now but he was yours first, wasn’t he? but it’s fine. because you’re busy too. you’re captaining the team now. you’re gonna get the memorial cup that he couldn’t. it’s fine. you’re fine. you don’t even have time to worry about it anyway.
one conversation a week turns to one a month turns to once in a blue moon turns to stale words until it goes cold. these days you can’t quite seem to remember who ended things, but does it really matter all that much now?
or maybe it doesn’t end like that at all. maybe it ends in a flurry of angry words and digs in some or other of the endless hotel rooms you’ve shared together over the years. who knows!
and that’s not even getting into the rest of the 2015 draft class. or the ld19 of it all! ooh hoo hoo. you grew up with him but he’s not your waiting room. he grew up with you but he’ll grow “old” (end his career) with someone else. and isn’t that just something!
i don’t think it’s totally them, but sort of the sentiment of “I hope you get everything you ever wanted and I hope I never hear a word about it.” I want one ticket off of your carousel!!!! merry christmas, please don’t call!!!!!!!
dylan being sent up and down and traded around until finally landing in washington, a place where he is clearly at home and LOVED for the guy and player he is!!!!!!!! watching a game and seeing all the strome jerseys in the crowd……..wagh.
all that said. some other songs that are mcstrome to me in various ways: hot & heavy by lucy dacus (lol kinda the whole song). before the world was big by girlpool (“i just miss how it felt standing next to you wearing matching [jerseys? sweaters?] before the world was big”). happiness by Taylor swift (“i guess it’s the price i pay for seven years in heaven”), cut your bangs by radiator hospital (maybe? possibly? unsure. i like the whole dog thing there). i’m so glad i feel this way about you by insignificant other (!!!!!). there are so many THEM lyrics in there……..waough.
anyway. other things off the top of my head: 2015 connor specifically saying something like “hey let’s wait a minute so we can see this” to stand by the stage when dylan was getting drafted after him. MAN. you reminded me of the fact that they couldn’t even make eye contact at the handshake line!!!!!!!!! they didn’t go to each other’s weddings!!!!!!!!!! (do you think once upon a time they ever thought they’d being each other’s best man?). just a couple months ago dylan liking the tweet of connor getting that goal during the playoffs!!!!!!!! makes you wonder if he texted him………..
lol this was all over the place and i was probably wrong on some things and there’s SO much more that someone else could say way more eloquently, but i digress. i dunno everything about them is so nuts to me!!!!! needless to say i will be incredibly sat for the game january 21 🙂↕️
thank you again for your time :) hope you have a good one and a happy rest of the holiday season! <3333333
what a lovely message to receive 🥰😭🥹 i had to break it up into chunks because i couldn't sit down to read all of it at once without just. bouncing right back up and shrieking. i am also at heart terribly shy so i understand the struggle but it is never too late to say something <3 you are always welcome here
first!!! i love sharing!! i think most of hockey tumblr loves to see people finding out the Lore for the first time and the wonderful thing about hockey is that. it keeps going on. so there's years and years and generations and generations and always something new to learn about. i've learned to just not be afraid to ask!!! between different teams and players i'm always discovering new narratives (learning about the sharks old man yaoi rn... cbj rarepairs...)
no... to my heart's despair... you have the timeline right. i think in the best most tragic sense there's a mcstrome narrative where it is truly that nothing went wrong. the love was there. we couldn't do enough to save it because we didn't see it slipping away. i didn't notice when you didn't call until you never did. i don't know you now but i still remember when i did, do you?
HE'S NOT YOUR WAITING ROOM?? passing out. i do see "i hope you get everything you ever wanted and i hope i never hear a word about it" as them because!! they didn't go to each other's weddings!!! i don't wish you harm but i'm not going to put myself through that!! i hope you're happy and i'm never going to look on purpose.
i love dylan strome so much and the best part is that they all love him so much too. he wore a cool vintage ovechkin jacket!! and got slapped in the face with a tortilla!! he loves to gently rag on the rookies!! it just takes some time, everything'll be just fine. you're only on the middle of the ride.
OKAY WHEN I READ THIS PART I SCREAMED BECAUSE I DO HAVE A MCSTROME PLAYLIST AND!!!! HOT & HEAVY BY LUCY DACUS IS IN FACT ON IT!!! SO IS CUT YOUR BANGS (BUT BY GIRLPOOL SO DOUBLE JINX)!!!! i have dorothea by taylor swift on there but i don't know happiness so i'll have to give all the other songs a listen. mostly i just shrieked because i was like NO YOU GOT THE VIBES EXACTLY
🧠〰️🧠 truly the mind meld happening here. the handshake line. the mutual wedding non-invitations. i won't block your number or your name on twitter i just hope i don't see it come up on screen!! i do think that we got confirmation the last time they played each other that dylan did text him to say congrats on a milestone but i would have to check the archives
p.s. i think you said it perfectly eloquently :) what matters is that you said it at all and i was delighted to read it 💕
#liv in the replies#HI HI HI HELLO!!! IT'S SO NICE TO HEAR FROM U i hope u have a lovely quiet end of the year <3 with lots of time to rest & find ur own joy#& YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SORRY!!!! <33333 ANY MESSAGE IS A GOOD ONE!!! WHEN I TELL YOU I 🥹💕😭☺️🥰🦋💕💗‼️‼️❣️❣️ UPON RECEIVING THIS HEARTS FOR THU#ALSO IMPORTANT😭😭 I DIDN'T MEAN TO GUILT TRIP U I HOPE U DIDN'T TAKE IT THAT WAY i personally just. need to work on reblogging my own stuff#i hate reblogging my own fic announcements even so i was like listen this is for ME because EYE want it here and that's FINE. ok brain???#and also i think i have just accepted the slide that there WILL be hrpf here mostly because i keep tagging it but i always don't want to#plug this blog over on cbpc-hrpf or anything bc do you really need to follow me in multiple places or is that just being greedy you know.#obviously i don't because why else would i be dithering in the tags. anyway tl;dr i consider u beloved & also my friend welcome in the dms#at any time always. i hope everybody knows just yeet yourselves in there i am a Yapper and i love discussing. getting asks is one of my#favorite things :))) & getting messages from people is how u make friends!!! sometimes u tell people u love their work & now u are bffl <3#we all have like. Quintessential Moments that are secretly niche & the joy of going U DON'T KNOW ABOUT IGUANA WRESTLING??? is unmatched#also do you want to publish that poetry like?? hit after hit after hit. three paragraph six feet under. put it on the ao3 second person pov#dylan strome sitting at his fogged up kitchen window looking at the snow outside in washington the same as it was in erie the way it never#was in arizona and thinking about you know. maybe you know now what it was then. and does it matter? and in the end#he sees his girls run through the yard snowballs in their hands when he's done thinking everything through and he puts on his mittens and#walks out the door to his life. into the cold unknown you know. honorary fuckin' mention to what has secretly been percolating in my head#ever since i said the fogged glass window which is the one that knocks ME the fuck out every time but is so strongly a dylan/zach song to m#dream song by shallow alcove. just wanna press my nose up to the glass of your life. EYE cannot mcstrome w/that but it is incredibly vibes#also just. the queer experience of that Intense Friendship that you’re like WOW uh. maybe i need to think some things now. assigned to Them#HELP SOS what is ld19??? you will have to come explain this to me i fear. oh no you have to send me another message 😈 my brain said leon#but also london knights because mitch marner and the draft class of 2015. also had to laugh like i started singing phoebe bridgers waiting#room then immediately went into the argument of defying gravity 'i hope you're happy' (OBCR) because. i think they wish they could be spite#maybe. but maybe they know they only want them to be happy. also with the handshake... me when i. think about updating the goodnight chicag#cam now that stromer's in washington goodnight chicago goodnight indeed. DO WE EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT KITTY?? DEBRINCAT???? ALSO IN ERIE#also me🤝you🤝 caps/oilers game. they're like oh are u sick of the mcstrome teammates broadcast and i say no never thank u with my popcorn.#mcstrome
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I’m getting up early to go train with my old Taekwondo nationals team mate and maybe our instructor to get on track for our Black belt. My mentor recently died so the school is being taken over by his Master before him and that Master wants to get us our black belts since we’ve been Bodans for like 6 years XD but since covid I fell out of my peak condition and so long story short this is gonna S U C K. I got nauseous during a WARMUP on Thursday 💀 and I threw up for the first time working out in years two months ago after doing TWO DRILLS. It’s pathetic. Ima look pathetic, but I have to start sometime 😭 I just hope I don’t get sick again
#taekwondo#my friends still think I do karate even tho I talk about TKD so much. They’ve known me 10+ years#A friend I’ve had since childhood called me “Karate girl” yesterday 💀#If you’re wondering#my Master/Mentor died of stage 4 cancer.#I found out on Grads night out on the back of a bus full of teens I’ve been hanging out with for 3/4 of a year#That was awkward#but they handled it amazingly. Didn’t treat me softly at all after my breakdown of ugly sobbing in the bus#If they did I would’ve broken down again 😂#It’s been 2months#I have not processed anything#I really should talk to someone truly about it#Will I? Prolly not lollllllll#Except my moms best friend is a therapist and she vowed to make us process it sooo 🤷🏼♀️#My master literally poured his heart and soul and money into the competition team especially when he found out about the cancer#Started giving us life advice and teaching how to navigate ourselves and people#He especially pushed me#my brother and two other the hardest out of the team#He meant so much to me ;-;#Gah. I need to go to bed and pray I don’t dream about being trapped on an island of Dino’s.#I started having those dreams long before I even played ARK XDXD
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ggghhghgh as much as i love having so many friends now i would Love to not be the only one who ever thinks about group plans for more than 2 minutes
#on monday i tell everyone that 7:00 on friday would be the best time for Sonic Movie. everyone agrees with me that 7 is good and works#one of these people works at the movie theater we are going to and regularly reserves seats for us & get us in for free via employee perks#it is never communicated to me that they have not done this until 11am on friday#when i say that 7:00 won't work anymore because there aren't any seats left and they say they didn't know seats weren't reserved#i was not told that i was expected to buy tickets & seats for everyone. all i did was pick a showtime#i do not work at the theater#how would i have reserved the seats#i don't mind spending $60 on FOUR movie tickets as a christmas gift (ignore the eye twitching sfx) but just TELL ME THAT FIRST!!!!!!#TELL ME THAT /BEFORE/ I HAVE TO SWITCH IT TO 8:00 INSTEAD AND RACE EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD BUYING TICKETS TODAY#not even joking i almost could've gotten 7:30 tickets but then the last seats for that time got taken in the 10 mins it took to call my mom#BEFORE NOON. ALL OF THIS IS BEFORE NOOON#sigh. i have really been getting to know the hell that is living in a rural area when all of your friends live in suburbs#guys. i cannot simply do things on a whim on a weekday. you are making me ask my parents to drive me 30 minutes out both ways after work#(bc ofc they're all too pussy to drive me home bc i have a dirt road & I'm Too Far Away)#i say this with nothing but love in my heart but ohhhhhh suburbians. they truly do not know anything#yes this would all be way easier for everyone if i could drive but its kinda hard to practice when youre only home for like 3 months a year#and half of that time is usually spent recovering from burnout. but whatever my point is THESE PEOPLE ARE KILLING ME !!!!!!!!!!!!
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