#my heart do be feeling weird and my head do always hurt tho thats for sure! wasnt like that when i was 15!! take me back

[ahotknife]

damn getting old sucks i just can’t have an eating disorder in my 20s like i did in high school... it’s just not the same... it’s starting to actually feel like there are health consequences... 

[hopefully-nightly-doodles]

I don’t really post vent art here but I decided I o post this one cuz well… Honestly it’s mostly cuz I can’t sleep and have a lot of thoughts circling my head right now…

Vent hidden just incase people don’t wanna get depressed reading my wall of text sndbdj

I used to talk a lot in my twitter and I do have a priv that I had posted this vent art on weeks ago but idk- Twitter has become such a toxic space its hard to be active there even in my private account. Well actually its hard to be active anywhere for me, but if you’re a long time follower you probably already know that. I’m a hermit, and very much an introvert with a weird social battery. Every time someone tells me they think I was an extrovert I always get so confused by it-

I don’t even know where I’m going with this or if it will ever see the light of day, but it can’t hurt to try and process feelings right?

Im not going to go into detail on to what made me draw this or the full extent of what’s been happening cuz its complicated as fuck- But I can try and dissect how I’ve been feeling or at least try to. For the past month or maybe more I’ve been tipping back and forth on my mental health, and at the end of May the scales finally tipped over for the worst and I did something so fukin stupid. It was a snap instant regret kinda moment and I knew I fucked up big time. While yes, there were outside things that happened and build up turmoil months prior that got me to that point of mental deterioration before the snap, its on me to have let myself get that bad in the first place.

I should have taken more breaks when I knew I was pushing myself constantly, draining myself constantly. I should have been more firm with my boundaries whenever I mentioned them and should have been better at communicating the hurt and stress and pressure thats been building up before it all came crashing down.

People always say “love yourself before you love others”, and on a logical and fundamental level I always understand why. At least I think I do… But to deeply understand what it actually meant I knew I only had, at best, a foggy grasp of it. And since what’s happened recently I kinda get a little why now. People who are hurt will always end up hurting other people when that hurt is ignored or not properly processed.

And thats what happened to me. I hurt someone I really cared about and I feel gross and unbelievably disappointed in myself for it.

It doesn’t matter how hard you try to be better for others or to be there for people and be kind and supportive to them. Those acts of service and kindness, tho genuine, isn’t going to fill the hole in your heart that you aren’t giving that kind of support to yourself. It’s so self destructive and will leave you to grow bitter from the inside out. And thats why it was so hard to see, and why I didn’t notice till it was too late. Cuz on the outside I look and acted fine, but inside i was deteriorating so much that I got to a point I couldn’t not see it anymore. And in a desperate cry for help I tried to open about it and explain int the worst way possible up but snapped, crossed a boundary I shouldn’t have then ran away.

And I don’t mean snap like get angry, I meant like snap as in I had a mental break that led to the worst tunnel visioned, impulsive fueled action afterwards. Its so hard for me to get genuine angry at people and when I do I walk away to cool down. I at least have some comfort knowing I didn’t unleash burning hot fury on someone cuz I think I might actually puke if I get to that point. That I have become that kind of person. But anger isn’t the only way you can hurt someone and I feel like what I did was kinda worse then plain anger.

Since that happened I just been away from almost everything. I mean I know isolation isn’t the solution so I kept a couple of friends close to have a support system to help me through this. But I did it to think and process everything that happened and has happened before hand that led to that point. And I haven’t just been overthinking and sulking and mopping in the mess I made because honestly who does that help really? I guess that’s what lead me here, to making a tumblr post on my dump account at 7am in the morning. To pick apart my feelings and toss it into the void.

Well that and 2 other reasons… That part where I was talking about being disgusted by myself? Yeh well thoughts of me “erasing myself form the equation” and just snipping connections left and right had pop up in my head more times that in has ever been recently. Cuz you know if ***I’m*** the problem then haha I probably wouldn’t be missed then!

But then two people check up on me and like I shit you not I started crying on the spot. Actually sobbing (but not too loud cuz I can’t cry in this house hold) because oh wow not everyone hates me. Like yes I had my support system and they are doing gods work, they are lovely beautiful human beings and love and adore them! but it’s different when someone you weren’t expecting checks up on you, to know you occupy a space in their head and to hear and see that they cared enough about you to check.

One of them was a friend from a new more recent friend group I had been in when I joined a new fandom. Me and that person hadn’t been particularly close nor talked too much but I loved their company whenever we did get the chance. I wish I talked more to them but time zones and my own social anxiety kinda prevented that so that is something to work on. And the 2nd one was from an old friend I kinda drifted away from a lil, cuz again I moved fandoms, but was very close with. They have absolutely no clue about my current situation but actually checked up on me cuz of uh… The territorial tension between China and the Philippines hdkdbsjsb. It was so out of nowhere and unexpected like they didn’t even have my alt discord to message me but they found a way so I was kinda just super touched-

And those two interactions plus my awesome friends who have been a great support system, that keep me centered and grounded. Im reminded that people do care and that one mistake doesn’t make me scum of the world no matter how loud my toxic thoughts screams it at me. Especially not when I am trying to be better and recognize the mistakes I made and even apologized before taking my break from most my contacts. No one has even called me that but myself cuz Im so quick to be hard on myself for any mistakes.

All I can do now is keep myself centered, allow myself to feel my complicated feelings and process them in a healthy manner, do my best to be better moving forward, and to be patient with myself and move at my own pace.

Hey if you got this far into reading, wow you must have a lot of free time! /lh jdkdjdhdjdhd-

That or you’re just really interested in how I’ve been. I’ve been called mysterious, aloof and hard to read before so maybe you wanted to know what actually goes on upstairs lol.

But either way here’s a little something for reading I guess. The words in the vent art is actually lyrics and this was the song I was listening too when I was making it. Additionally if you’re feeling sad and need a song to listen to try this, it helps me process emotions. Either way if you happen to stumble on this, I hope you get something form this and that you have a nice day.

[youretooclosetome]

01/14

i ate today! for once, in the past week, i ate a full lunch. it made me feel sick still, and so did dinner, but for once in this week, i ate. small steps are what counts right?

b told me to block him if i want some space. i dont wanna do that. its not that i still like him, or that i think he cares about me, its that i cant bring myself to cut him out of my life, even if i need it. its just not doable. i wished i could. its such a weird feeling. i keep waking up feeling sick and anxious, like im gonna puke my heart out or my stomach is going to explode from how sick it feels. i still dont know whats causing this. is it him? am i unconsciously still thinking about him? is that why my body keeps doing this to me? as a warning sign, as a way to tell me to stay away from him? its making me more and more tired.

speaking of him, we talked today. again. a lot. at least more than usual. he sent me a picture of his cat! i love that cat. what a cutie. im honestly surprised we talked so much. im honestly wondering what i really am to him. its odd. hes acting odd. hes focused on work and wanting to work, which is insanely off character for him, but hey, if he found his motivation. at least one of us did. i sound like a jackass. "he wants to work which is insanely off character for him". who the fuck says that?? i guess i do. its fine tho. this is like my own private little diary, so i dont have to worry about him finding this. the fact he continues talking to me makes my head spin. not in a good way, in a scared way. maybe he does want us to stay friends but i have this odd feeling thats not all. i dont want him to hurt me again.

b asked me out for valentines. i told him no. tecnically i curved him with a "im going out with my best friend no", which is even worse. i didnt even understand what he meant first, i thought he was talking about the 15th. im such a big fucking dumbass, jesus. unfortunately, i dont intend on going out with him or trying anything beyond friendship with him. hes not... my type. not in a mean way!! just in a, i cant see him become anything besides my friend, way. its mean. i know its mean. but whos kidding? i curved him with that yet im betting with myself, right here and right now, 20 bucks that im inviting HIM out for that day. i know myself. unless im looking at someone else, i know exactly who id go out with on valentines. im such a sad person.

im not as tired as yesterday. i mean, im still tired but i slept a little better tonight. i still cant stare at my own face in the mirror unless i cake on 10 pounds of makeup. im gonna have to do that if i wanna go to class on tuesday. i dont wanna go at all. i dont wanna present and i sure as hell dont wanna see anyone. not even my best friends. i mean, how lame is that on my side? these are the people who are always by my side yet im sitting here saying i dont wanna see them. im a terrible person.

im winning a bid on a paperback copy of my absolute favorite book. im genuinely so excited to get it. i hope i get it. maybe thats the underlying reason of why im staying home tomorrow. just so i can guarantee this book. its stupid, but its my favorite book. i love it. i guess thats a reason for sticking around a little longer, just so i can hold it and read the words with my own two eyes. im weirdly excited for it.

i finished carrie. i liked the book. i didnt expect it to be so explicit and so odd, but its my first stephen king book so... ive heard some pretty insane things from his other books. i wanna watch the movie aswell, just to see how different both are.

<( _ _ )>

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

I’ll Try

hi i know i said i was gonna work through my prompts but ive been having a mini writers block and tried to get rid of it with this which ended up not working and this took three days when something like it would have taken three hours this time last year 🤣 im fine everythings fine

pairing: geraskier

warnings: post getting together touch starvation, geralt getting overwhelmed and feeling guilty about it, two idiots being idiots, geralt refuses to speak up for his needs im not projecting i swear, thats it tho, they dont even fight its just a nice little convo, un beta’d

_________________

Two weeks. It had taken two weeks for Geralt to muster up the courage to hold Jaskier’s hand as they walked. They’d had a stilted and painfully awkward conversation about feelings and decisions and commitments that ended rather well, but Geralt just couldn’t do it. He’d kept his distance from people for so long that the thought of holding someone else and being welcome whenever he wantedto do so sent his heart racing. The first week he couldn’t bring himself to think about being held in return without a pang of anticipation and fear shooting through his chest. 

But he’d done it. And he loved holding Jaskier’s hand. He loved being able to walk up behind his bard and wrap his arms around Jaskier’s waist, resting his chin on his shoulder, and lean on him. He loved the light touched to wrists and how Jaskier would brush his hair out of his eyes before kissing his brow. He really really loved it. 

Just… it could be overwhelming. Jaskier was extremely tactile and while it was nice to be able to communicate without needing words, Geralt found it could become too much rather quickly. He also felt extremely guilty about it. Jaskier had even told him he was always made feel like he was ‘too much’ for his partners (‘usually too adulterous’ Geralt had teased) and the last thing the witcher wanted to do was tell him as much. 

But he damn near wanted to crawl out of his skin one afternoon as he was grinding herbs for his potions. Jaskier had one leg over him as they sat on the ground and the bard was bent almost in half to lay his cheek on Geralt’s shoulder. That Geralt could muscle through, but it was the little touches and shifting that came from Jaskier playing with the cuffs of his shirt that really threw him. 

After an hour of barely being able to focus, Geralt finally scrambled to stand and start pacing the edge of the meadow where they’d made camp. 

“Geralt?” Jaskier called to him surprisingly cautiously, still sitting where they’d been entangled, but now leaning back on his hands as if he’d been hit in the chest with a rabbit carcass. 

“Hm”

“What’s going on?”

Geralt just shrugged as he continued his pacing, “Need to walk. Cramp.”

It seemed Jaskier wasn’t buying his half-assed excuse as he planted himself directly in Geralt’s path and grabbed him just above the elbows, “You’ve been acting weird all day.”

“Tired,” Geralt growled, feeling ready to snap at any moment.

Jaskier’s lips disappeared into a thin line and his eyebrows climbed his forehead, “Yeah, and I’m a skilled swordsman. What is wrong?”

Try as he might, Geralt couldn’t unclench his jaw as he spoke, keeping the volume low in the hopes it wouldn’t frighten Jaskier, “Let me go.”

Hurt flashed across Jaskier’s face as he took a step back and folded his arms over his chest. There was no anger in his posture though, geralt could have handled that easily- gladly even, but it broke his heart to see the way his bard held himself. Quite literally holding himself around the ribs with his shoulders slightly hunched, Jaskier just stared at Geralt, waiting with a look akin to fear on his face. 

Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, Geralt tried to sift through his words despite the urge to simply stomp off into the woods, “Overwhelmed.”

It wasn’t much but it was the best Geralt could force out. And by some miracle, it seemed Jaskierwas relieved by the answer. He let his arms hang by his sides and stood a little taller, tilting his head to the side as he spoke, “Is there some noise…? Smell I cant smell?”

Geralt shook his head and tapped his wrist, indicating the cuff Jaskier was fiddling with before.

“Oh… you- dont like the touching…” Jaskier looked on the edge of tears. Anyone else may have thought he was just slightly upset, but Geralt knew what to look for. Jaskier’s lips were back in their firm line, but this one was narrower, and all expression left his eyes. 

“No! No, Jask I uhm, really like that. A lot… I’m not used to it though…” As Geralt scrambled to get his words out he stepped forward, reaching to hook his pinky around Jaskier’s.

“Well of course not. It’s been less than a month.” Jaskier still looked cautious, though his eyes softened ever so slightly. 

“It’s been... decades since someone touched me so often and so... innocently,” Geralt mumbled, hoping Jaskier could make sense of the information. 

“Oh Geralt… sweetheart I didn’t realize…” Geralt just tilted his head at Jaskier as he continued, “Thats like throwing a man baking in the desert straight into an ocean. Of course you’re overwhelmed! I- I didn’t even think…” 

“I didn’t want you to think I thought you were too much…” Geralt offered, giving a little shrug and feeling a bit like a child. 

Jaskier gave him a sweet smile and swung their hands side to side just a bit, “Thank you, darling. You can tell me when you reach your limit next time. I wont get upset.”

Geralt swallowed hard and cleared his throat muttering a quick “I’ll try.” before giving Jaskier a peck on the cheek and going back to crushing his herbs. Jaskier picked up his lute and plucked away at the strings and every time Geralt looked up at him he was smiling with a mix of affection and wonder. They’d be fine, Geralt decided, he’d just have to use his words. 

[jrueships]

LIBRA

LIBRA!!!! i LOVE libra! But i also hate libra cus i love libras. It's not the libras fault tho! Like IDK... i hate the general PERCEPTION of a libra? Cus it can do more harm than good..? Which sucks cus i hate when bad stuff happens to a libra, cus i love libras. HMM.. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS

SO LIKE. Libras and cancers fall into the 'cinnamon roll' category of zodiacs, n i fuckin HATE that trope n hate that people get put into it. Cus it's lowkey demeaning, weird, and undervaluing. N i hate undervaluing. CUS LIKE! YEAH! LIBRAS ARE GREAT LISTENERS, THEYRE DIPLOMATIC, THEY LOVE BALANCE. THEYRE GOOD PEOPLE! but like! They're still PEOPLE! Others need to realize that! THEY ARE NOT FUCKIN THERAPISTS! ALL THE FUCKIN TIME! idk tho, maybe im just adversed to it because i don't go to therapy cus im just uncomfy putting everything on a person thats not . Funny? Even if they're paid to have that? BUT LIKE ! YKNOW! Theyre not your PRECIOUS BEANS or whatever. They can be fuckin manipulative! But still do it out of the goodness of their hearts! Like a person can be that ! No one is perfect, tho, yknow, it's easy to think that when IM here all the time... naw im kidding tho, no one is perfect (as hard as it may seem to BELIEVE with ME 😊).

I love libra traits, but with every zodiac, you can also hate those traits. Cus they can become too much or turn sour. It comes off as a surprise because they SEEM so fun or good, but that's just a possibility n people gotta learn to understand that! Some people get that shock once and will forever hate that person for it, or others will never get it because they keep a person in a box. Or keep seeing that IN that box.

Like the whole 'libras can NEVER make a decision' that is SO . Flanderized. Because YEAH ive SEEN that with them, TRUST me. I made friends with a lot of libras (n it's funny cus ive ALWAYS started the relationship WITH them. Then later found out they were all libras. It's weird! I love them tho!), n when they can't make a decision. Bruh it's TERRIBLE. I had like 10 libras worrying to me about their college decision comparisons, even after making all these intricate graphs n charts n plans, they were STILL struggling. N WHATEVER YOU TRIED TO CONSOLE THEM WITH, THEY JUST SAW THE OTHER SIDE TO. that's how they ARE n i HATE that but they need that! I hated it cus my pride was starting to get in the way with all my ideas getting warped around or shot down like i was stupid, but a libra isn't TRYING to MAKE that happen! They just NEED to see two sides! It helps em figure shit out or get lost in a deeper rabbits hole to pop back out again. N i tell em like ! They're a person who'll ask for advice when venting or want an opinion then lowkey argue with you on that opinion. But still WANT it. N they agreed, that's just how they figure stuff out!

I try helpin em best i can with that, but sometimes i realized keeping the conversation would just make me unreasonably more angry, so i let them chat it off with like a cancer or something. They're great together, along with a cancer Taurus pair? I also love cancers, but those too I gotta take a step back with so Noone ends up getting their feelings hurt.

so I like libras but people gotta understand, they wont ALWAYS. N sometimes they don't so they keep pushin n pushin n that's bad! Libras can get feelings hurt when it comes to personal stuff, even lil jokes sometimes! They can ALSO be fixed on things! People tend to think they're ALWAYS indecisive, but when they think things, they THINK things. Literally all my libra friends send me political tiktoks. It's hilarious cus they'll send me a super important subject n ill heart it then send them a video of some kid hitting his head on a picnic table. They also send some funny videos, n they have similar humors where they love funny things being said or funny images ig? Like fingers pretending to poledance. The only way i can describe it is kinda cheesy humor vs my more random humor, but both are enjoyable! We bounce off well! BUT YEA so people will just tell them ANYTHING and expect them ALWAYS to want to be 3rd person, but that's not always the case! They can have a fixed opinion too, n it's a good one cus they weighed all other options but CHOSE that one. When a libra finally chooses smthin, it's usually really educated and good (like u choosing to be in the nba tumblrinas, the BEST tumblrinas. Obvs) (joking)

ALSO because they're seen as mediators, they're seen as 'pure'.. but they rlly aren't lol. If i had a nickel for everytime i met a libra, we talked a lil bit, we exchanged numbers, N THEN THEY JUST SENT ME A SCREENSHOT OF THEIR BDSM TEST RESULTS. I'D HAVE A BANK. they're! Idk! Spicy ig LMAO? At least spicier than you'd think n they really revel in it. They love feeling not boring similar to an aquarius n can also get caught up into 'im different' NOT to flex but to feel like a PERSON. When really their big difference is that they thought the minions movie was actually funny. Cancers also love to be all 'oohoohoo i can be dirty woo' but their reveals are way more basic lmao like. They're pillow princesses or whatever lol. ALSO all the libras who sent me a screenshot were switches and exhibitionists ?? That's pretty libra to me lmao??

Libras also are some of the most friendly people EVER. They can smalltalk to anyone without being bored, they love talking about themselves AND asking about others. They're unreal to me in that way. I always appreciate a libra's social ability n lowkey let them do the talking for me cus im actually a pretty quiet person as long as im not with friends. (When im with friends i can be insufferable tho so it's a lose lose). BUT!!! it's like no matter how CLOSE you are with a libra or how many people LIKE them... they will struggle to feel LOVED. They could go to a party and have everyone in that party greet them with the happiest smiles, and STILL go home thinking no one really knows them or loves them. They NEED love. They need a partner or just someone close. They need a pet cat they really love or an s/o to feel balanced. Which doesn't always gel with me who's good with solitude!

They can also be super flirty n jealous, pretty basic info tho! But they're like! Funny with their jealousy. A jealous or disagreed libra can be lowkey manipulative but mean it what they think is well! Like im just trying to get you out of a bad option without directly SAYING it's a bad option jealous. I had a libra BFF who liked me (ive had lots of libras whove had crushes on me but rarely did we become a thing thing cus i didnt wanna end up ruining a friendship with a person i valued so much over something stupid like a breakup. It wasnt cus we were both guys cus ive had n have a bf. Just in the closet to keep me safe from family. Im very masculine ive been told and seem like a 'normie???' But once people get to know me they say im like a butch lesbian?? Idk man! Ask the libras, they call me that!), n whenever i would make a simple comment on how i thought xx was pretty or cute, he'd lowkey be like 'you just like xx cus you like objects' N IT WAS LIKE? DAMN BRO YOU REALLY THINK ME LIKE THAT? im just complimentin ppl n i didn't do it n like a 'WOW her boobs are HUGE' just in a 'i like her hair she's pretty', but it still got him upset! I understood it tho, libras can easily feel inadequate, so i didn't do that infront of him no more. Like, a libra HATES hates HATES introducing their older friend to a newer friend and having them end up pushing the libra out the circle because THEY became closer. They hate feeling inadequate or too boring or too much of anything. IDK! they're not as perfect as people like to think them as, n! Homie needs a therapist lol, in the most respectful intent. Those signs just would really thrive from having someone who they can talk to without worrying abt being seen or taken wrong

[builtbymachine]

Falling x Jake Pt. 2

CW: cursing, kissing, anger, confusion

TW: big kissin thats it tho

WC: 1015

“What’s going on, Jake?” you asked, the nervousness in your stomach reaching a boiling point.

A deep sigh escapes his lips, “I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember. Every time I see you, my heart races. You make everything more exciting; more fun. I only want to do things if you are involved.” you notice he isn’t looking at you out of fear of the look that may be on your face. He glances up at you finally and takes a step forward, careful not to get too close, “I’ve felt this way for years and I never said anything because I’m so scared of losing my best friend but fuck, I can’t hold it in anymore I can’t.” You stand up from his bed and begin to talk towards him, him meeting you half-way. Before you can respond, he’s pulled you in for the most passionate kiss you’ve ever had. You pull away, shoot him an almost angry look, and before you can think, you blurt out “Jake, what the fuck?”

It wasn’t what you intended to say, and you can see the hurt on his face as it comes out. You immediately begin to apologize, words moving a hundred miles a minute, but he stops you. “You’re right. I’m a fucking idiot. I never should have said anything” and he leaves the room. You follow him out and grab him in the hallway. Staring deep into his eyes you say, “You’re not an idiot. This is just a lot for me to process. I just need time to think. Please.” and he nods his head with an empty expression. “I think I’m gonna go ahead and go home.” you announce to the other two in the living room. They say their goodbyes and you walk to the front door, giving Jake a shy wave before leaving. You make your way across the street, glancing at the time as you approach your door. It’s earlier than you expected, but still very late. You head to your room and as you enter, you throw your bag onto the ground in a violent way. You throw yourself on your bed and let out an almost pained scream as tears stream down your face. “How could he just keep that from me all this time? After everything we’ve been through? How could he drop that bomb on me and expect me to have a normal reaction” you think to yourself. You aren’t angry or upset. Hell, you’re ecstatic that the feeling is mutual, however, it’s so much to process at once. You lay in your bed until morning, unaware of whether you even fell asleep at all.

You get up and go to your restroom and turn on the shower. You know you aren’t doing anything with anyone today, but you want to wash off the feeling of last night's events. Before you get in, you check your phone, noticing two unread texts. The first is from Josh: “Hey…is everything okay? You seemed like you left in a hurry and Jake is acting weird.” you choose to ignore his texts, knowing the second you open up a little bit, he’s going to go all Dr.Phil on you. The second is from Sam: “Did you get home okay? No one’s heard from you since you left.” he knows it’s only a short walk, but you always text him when you get home. “Yeah sorry Sam. I got home fine. I just immediately passed out when I got in bed.” you replied back. It was a definite lie, but he didn’t need to know the truth.

You have no idea how long you were in the shower for, it could’ve been hours. You finally step out into the steamy bathroom and put on your clothes. Nothing special, just some sweats and a t-shirt. You check your phone again to see that Sam has just sent a thumbs up in response and you had a missed call. It was Jake. You groan, knowing you hadn’t thought about what he had said at all in your never-ending shower and now you had nothing else to do but think about it. You sit on your bed and go over every word he spoke to you. You had memorized them already. As you think about it, you realize your heart is racing. You’re excited by this new found love. You’re not scared at all. You want to see where this can go. You know you need to see him, and you need to see him now.

You get up and peek out your front window, seeing his car in their driveway. You go back to your room and change into your favorite ripped jeans, a worn graphic tee he’s complimented before, and your coziest denim jacket. You fix your hair a bit before sliding on your shoes and heading to the front door. You let out a deep breath before opening the door and as you open it, he’s there. “Oh…um…hey” he says, embarrassed that you caught him. “I was just coming to apolo-” you cut him off, pulling him into a deep kiss. You can tell he’s taken aback by your actions when he pulls away from you and gives you a questioning look. You pull him inside your living room and lay another kiss on him. He stops you and makes you sit next to him on the couch. “What is happening? Last night you seemed upset when I kissed you, and now this? What changed?” He seems almost annoyed with you. “Jake,” you start, a smile creeping on your lips, “I’ve done a lot of thinking. All night actually. I have to admit. I think I’m in love with you too.” As you finish your sentence, the biggest smile creeps onto his face and he pulls you in and gives you a slow, deep kiss. He pulls back and rests his forehead against yours, looking into your eyes and whispering, “So you’re mine?” You smile back at him and whisper, “I’m yours.”

TAGLIST: @trplshotofdopamine @tragiccomiic

[hariosborn]

 sirius black fic rec list!!

okay but imagine having sirius black fall in love with you...a concept 😌

the feeling that we’re meeting again by @writesowhatnext

cross house relationships!!!!! literally yall are missing out if you project yourself into the same house as your lover!! you’re missing out on the tension, the passion, the romance!!! and once you get out of hogwarts and that tension is still there!!! post hogwarts sirius!!! hes so hot!!! and grumpy >:) you can never go wrong with slowburn fics!! 

the risk of love by @with1love1anu

ive been following anu for foreeeeeever and she never fails!! her writing is always so good and shes one of my favorite marauders era writers <33 you’ll see as you go down this list - but i love pining fics like im obsesssssed!! ooo and this one has a hint of best friend james and it just makes the story 10x better! 

breakfast in bed by @wondernimbus

when authors are 14 years old but can write flawlessly even though i struggle doing simple short stories in english class 😘not but fr ysa is such a good writer xx. breakfast in bed! what would yall eat 🤔if we’re talking abt english food (like food from england) idk what they eat over there tbh but i would pick roasted potatoes and waffles for breakfast :) wait actually no i wouldn’t, id probably do french toast with powdered sugar, strawberries, and french fries. ik it sounds weird but i had that the other day and i teared up, it tasted so good. but in this fic they have something even better!! have you ever wondered what it would be like to have toast, strawberry flavored muffins, and fruit for breakfast, all from the comfort of your bed, with the one and only sirius black? well look no further bc this fic has that and everything more!! 

godmother by @blisfvll

jen does it again!! coming through with the godmother!reader x godfather!sirius fics <33 (shes on this list three times bc she just writes so much good sirius content 😫) not to be morbid but when im gone i want someone to talk abt me the way sirius talks about the reader 😔i just love the way the sirius talked about her so lovingly and treated her like this ethereal being and painted her like this angel bc that must be so comforting for harry knowing that not only are his parents looking after him but his angel of a godmother is too ♥︎

oh shit + pt2 by @im-a-writer-right 

big brother remus am i right! as the oldest child, i love reading fics where im the younger sibling bc i just want someone to be able to look after me and care for me and be protective abt who i date bc they’re like “ i just don’t want you to get hurt” 😔 but anyways - this was a rlly cute and funny fic! i love snarky sirius and butthead james and overprotective remus and scared of falling for her brothers best friend reader :) if you like those all too you should read this one 😌

warnings by @blisfvll  

i felt like i was watching a short film! i loved this one! its so well written that you can like watch the play by play of everything happening in your head, like its sooo good! im sorry i keep putting so many angsty fics on this list 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 they’re just all so beautifully written and jen is such an amazing writer <33 

just a natural fact by @iliveiloveiwrite 

MILLIE!! YOU DID IT AGAIN!! guys if you are not following millie pls do i freaking love her sh*t and shes so far been on every fic rec list ive made :)) back to the review tho! im a very big fan of those timeskip fics like where theres a scenario for every year at hogwarts - and this one is one of those and i just - AGHHHGH!!! idk if this counts as a slowburn but like as someone who injects themself into the hogwarts timeline and pretends to be studying for her NEWTS when shes really doing AP work - i love reading about study sessions w remus where sirius tries to interject himself so he can be close to you 😊i dont want to spoil anything but like the tagline “Break my heart. Break it a thousand times if you like. It was only ever yours to break.” RUINED ME!! and you know what! i’ll do it again! i will read this fic and let it ruin me three more times and ten more times and however many i feel like! so yes, if you couldn’t tell, i love this one, and you guys should totally read it

die for you by @blisfvll 

i like to torture myself with sad fics so now im passing them along to you so we can all cry together ;( domestic life with sirius is something so very personal to me 😌so ofc i jumped at the idea of being harry’s godparent along w hubby sirius! but do not be fooled by my review - this one is sad - but its totally worth it!!! the things we do for baby harry am i right?? i am right 😌

wrapped around my finger by @remusishotterthansirius

jealous sirius jealous sirius jealous sirius!! oooo and when he growls >:)) i love the idea of being like this unattainable magical being in sirius’s eyes and you’re just like completely unaware of his feelings and it just adds to the mystery about you like imagine him sitting with the marauders by the black lake and him picking at a flower being like “she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not” and then him being all sad and pouty once the petals are all gone and he was left with ‘she loves me not’ :(( but  n e  ways - this was so cute and so masterfully written and i just love everything this author puts out so do not be surprised if you see at least one of their works on every single one of my hp fic rec lists >:))

misunderstandings by @imagineitup

oof this one really played with my heart! you know those fics where someones feelings are painfully obvious and you just want the other person to finally realize so they can both be put out of their misery and then go on to have this cute relationship BUT NONE OF THAT CAN HAPPEN UNTIL THEY COME TO THE REALIZATION THAT THEY ARE CAPABLE OF BEING LOVED!!! i love those fics and this is one of them :)))

thats all for my recs! sorry this ones so short - ive been drifting in and out of life, and school has been hard for me. there was a lot more to this list but a lot of my favorite writers have left tumblr so i dont have as much to share w yall 😔and theres obviously so many more amazing writers out there, im just sharing what i know! i’m thinking of just finishing up the other fic rec lists i have and then im going to move over to anime recs! ive been obsessed w haikyuu lately and theres a lot of fics i want to share with others - so if you guys don’t stick around for that i totally understand - but don’t worry im not making that switch till much later ✌🏼love you all so much! hope you’re all taking care of yourself, but dont worry if you’re not, its always a process so don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get stuff done and make sure to celebrate what you do get done! congratulate yourself when no one else will, and remember i’ll always be in your corner cheering you on! 

happy reading!

- love, hari !!

[thompsborn]

do you have any spare ironhusbands or sambucky headcanons?

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY

oh my god okay i’ve been so fucking wrapped up in both ironhusbands and sambucky and absolutely nothing else for WEEKS because of tfatws (obviously if you have seen my endless spam of reblogs but can you BLAME ME) and the portal closed has ironhusbands so i’ve been just. oh my god i am happily drowning in this and them and i do not need nor want air. ok.

also these are all hc’s based just in canon not au, and lol warning this got so long help me, though my brain is so scrambled from tfatws finale that all sambucky thoughts are scrambled and jumbled so i wasn't able to coordinate them as well as ironhusbands so the ironhusbands section is definitely longer pfighf i'm so sorry i'm like this

ironhusbands:

when they met at mit tony didnt know shit. like. like nothing. he didnt know a single god damn thing about anything. like he was a genius he could solve any equation given to him and baffled professors when he was handed like two supposedly impossible equations to this fuckin fourteen year old and he just looked at them with like a mcdonalds burger or some shit hanging out of his mouth and just answered them no problem, but he was still such a hopeless idiot, and rhodey, also a genius attending as a sixteen year old, had to teach him the basics of life, like. making toast. tony how do NOT know how to make toast. its TOAST. you put it in the TOASTER. have you NEVER SEEN A—OH MY GOD HOW DID YOU FUCKING CATCH IT ON FIRE—

he does not perfect the clearly impossible task of making toast until he is 17 and rhodey buys him a cake to celebrate the momentous occasion even though tony went though 528 toasters

you are gold by the national parks. thats it. thats all i have to say. listen to the song and look up the lyrics. you’ll get it.

and also paper planes by jon bellion but specifically for after rhodey tells tony he’s gonna join the air force and tony is worried but doesnt know how to show it and they have like a chill night in and all tony can think about is how stupid he is and how he’s such a coward because he cant get himself to tell rhodey that hi!! i love u!! and im scared to lose u and that you’ll get hurt and maybe die or smth!!

when rhodey finds out about how tony was raised (going with mcu, where tony wasnt physically abused but more emotionally neglected and ignored by howard and always talked down to and compared to others and wasnt treated like he was worthy and never was told he was loved and everything like that) he gets PISSED. like he is MONUMENTALLY angry. and it takes YEARS for him to find out about this too. and it actually puts a bit of a strain on their friendship for awhile when they meet too

like rhodey knows about the starks obviously and he assumes tony is going to be this obnoxious arrogant rich boy asshole and is so not looking forward to being roommates but he was raised to have an open mind and give everyone a chance, but tony was raised to be wary of everyone and keep his walls up and his emotions in shackles because whatever he shows can be used against him, so they clash, you know? they dont fight or anything but theres tension bc it isnt right and they dont get each other.

rhodey tries to be nice and tony doesnt understand nice because his only example of nice is jarvis and his mom and even then his mom and jarvis are always off with his dad so he barely sees them so its still rare for him to experience the nice of them so he doesnt know how to be around someone nice all the time, and so he gets defensive and thinks about how howard drilled it into him to be wary and he thinks maybe rhodey isnt ACTUALLY nice but someone PRETENDING to be

and rhodey starts to feel justified in assuming the worst about tony stark because tony is all cold and distant and rude and is about to stop the keeping an open mind thing about a month into their first year but then he comes back to their dorm early from class one day and tony doesnt come in so rhodey is just standing there and watches for a minute as tony sits there staring down at his twenty sixth attempt at a letter he wants to send his mom becauss he knows his mom likes letters even though he could just call but they havent really called him (howards fault but he’s fourteen still and its hard to rationalize that howards busy life and controlling thumb extends past his son) and rhodey is just confused because tony just suddenly sighs and sniffles a bit and murmurs “this is so stupid” and crumbles up the paper and throws it in the garbage and rhodey cant help but peer into it and barely sees the words hey mom scribbled at the top and that. that. hm. okay.

so rhodey keeps trying because he wasnt supposed to see that but he did and now he kind of has a feeling that maybe tony isnt all that cold and distant and rude as he seems, maybe he just doesnt really know how to be any different, so he thinks about all the subtle little ways that his family has shown him they care about him and starts to invite tony to go get food or to study together even though neither of them really need to study or to help each other with assignments or just anything thats mundane enough to not raise suspicion but still starts to open the door and make tony relax around him just that little bit and then before tony realizes it the end of their first year is there and theyre like friends or something and it hits him that he’s gonna miss rhodey.

for the first time ever there’s someone other than his mom and jarvis that he’s actually going to miss.

rhodey grins at him and says that they’ll be roommates again next year because they have to be and that the summer will be over before they know it and the sentiment is nice but tony spends the summer alone wandering around a house too big and empty after being in a dorm that’s small and has a friend.

but rhodey doesn’t know this. like he knows that tony isn’t the kind of guy he originally assumed but he doesn’t know that he’s literally ignored and neglected and like emotionally and sometimes verbally abused so he’s kind of surprised when the next year begins and they DO end up being roommates again (because tony kind of asked his mom, on a rare day when he got to see her and howard wasnt around, to get mit to make sure they could be) and tony just HUGS him like its been years and they’ve known each other forever but he goes with it and hugs him back because maybe tony’s just more affectionate once he gets to know someone and rhodey is okay w that.

they get closer as the years go by and they graduate from mit together and they’re BEST friends and at the end of the year rhodey invites tony to spend new years eve w his family but tony cant bc howard is having some kind of gala starting at 5 because hes weird and dumb and tony hates it and he also isnt given the option of not going even though he doesnt want to but the entire way there howard drills into him about not fucking up and berates him for all the times he has in the past and when they get there tony is already just not feeling it so he’s like nope!! no!! i simply cannot!!

so he goes in and finds an exit thats in the back and he leaves and finds a fucking payphone of all things and he has rhodeys home number memorized for years now and he calls and someone he doesnt knoe answers and theres music in the background and voices and tony’s entire stomach is in his throat and his heart is sunken into his twisted gut because he just wanted one night where maybe he could smile next to his parents and feel like he fit with them but he couldnt have that and he asks to talk to rhodey and then he is and asks if its too late to accept his invite and rhodey is like yeah of course do u need my address bc its still only 5 pm and its a 2 hour drive between south philadelphia and manhattan so he’d make it with plenty of time before it got to midnight so yay

and tony is like. oh. hm. i dont know how to drive actually. that was a thing that no one ever thought to teach me even though i asked about it about ten million times. and rhodey is used to tony not knowing how to do things that most people their age can (see: the toast) and plus its not uncommon for people from new york to not drive anyway so he doesnt think anything of it and instead asks for tony’s address to come pick him up instead and they’d still make it back by like 9-9:30 so that would work too

and thats when tony is like. well.

about that.

he might be calling from a payphone.

on a random street corner.

and its kind of raining. and he’s cold. and he’s a bit dulled out from everything so he doesn’t really think about the fact that admitting this is going to lead to having to explain what happened and also why and that is happens often. but that doesnt matter because he kind of just wants to be with his best friend and not back at that gala with his dad right now.

rhodey is like,,, ok. ok. wheres a coffee shop nearby u can wait in. and tony thankfully is by a 24 hour one and tells him the name and the street corner its closest to and rhodey is like i’ll be there asap and tony goes and he waits.

a two hour drive turns into an hour and a half because rhodey is Worried™

but when he walks in tony goes from being all dulled out to being all HOLY SHIT because rhodey has a SPLIT LIP and he’s like WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WHAT THE FUCK WHAT

and rhodey’s like no no its good my uncle was having fun and trying to wrestle with me and he accidentally elbowed me its all good man dont worry about it

tony isnt used to accidentally being hurt tho so he’s still like hmmm but he takes rhodeys word on it and they head out and tony wont say what happened or why he was calling from a payphone ?? which btw tony literally only was able to do bc there happened to be dropped change on the ground because boy would not have change on him ok, but rhodeys like alright lets go with this for now

so they gets to the rhodes house and it is in full swing with family and extended family and adopted family bc they are 100% the family that just adopts the neighborhood kids and the people who have no one else and like ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends even after the relationship ends bc they still are family despite not dating whoever it was they had been dating in order to be introduced to them so its a LOT of people and tony is like. this is semi familiar in terms a lot of people but this is NOTHING like what he has ever seen before holy fucking SHIT

rhodey is just like oh u have a small family then? so ur used to smaller gatherings?

and tonys like wtf are gatherings

and rhodey is starting to get a feel for what might be wrong but just takes tony inside to get him changed because he’s not spending new years eve at the rhodes house in a fucking expensive suit ok

tony is completely out of his element and like he’s not the only white guy there bc again the rhodes adopt people and those people are of every race and nationally you can imagine but he just isnt used to the vibe there are people laughing and sitting close together and playing games and theres music playing but not like classy music its music people can dance to and are dancing to and the food isnt the food he’s used to at galas and shit and nothing is what he’s used to and he just sticks to rhodey’s side like a fucking lost puppy and tries his best not to look like an idiot when rhodey introduces him to people and a lot of them know who he is but dont judge him or assume shit about him bc obviously if he’s friends w rhodey then he’s a good guy and they want to know him and thats enough

but tony is v overwhelmed bc what the FUCK IS HAPPENING this is nothing like anything he has ever experienced EVER

so eventually rhodey can tell he’s getting overwhelmed and takes him inside and lets him have a breather and then asks him about whats going in and thats when rhodey learns about what tonys life at home is really like and. anger.

SO MUCH anger

because not only has every single assumption he has ever made about tony been proven wrong, but now he knows that the best person he knows has never been treated the way he deserves and has never known a true home and comfort and love and safety and

and he’s gonna fix it

and this is the first step

so he takes tony back out and they’re still just friends but this is the day they both quietly realize they might kind of definitely like each other as more because tony is still so confused by the fact that what he knows isnt the normal and overwhelmed by how much there is and how different it is but rhodey holds his hand as a grounding point and whenever it might be too much they move off to the side where they arent completely gone but its less hectic and a bit more quiet and its just nice

tony goes to rhodeys house for every holiday despite whatever howard says

rhodey decks howard the only time they ever meet before tonys parents die and he has the most shit eating grin on his face afterwards that tony cant help but lose his shit laughing his ass off

anyway i didnt mean to ramble for so long about that specific idea so i’ll end the ironhusbands ramble with this one last thought, which is as follows:

rhodey gets hurt in the air force at some point, and it isnt that bad tbh but he does have to go the hospital and shit and gets stitches or whatever idk i dont know what specifically happens i just think it’d be just bad enough that it takes him a few weeks to be able to go back to work but he’s not like OH GOD HURT yk?

but like stated above tony was scared and worried when rhodey told him he was gonna go into the air force so he hears about this and they’re probably like almost 30 at this point because they’re dumb and it takes them forever to get their heads out of their asses (i say this even though in the portal closed it takes them even longer but i digress) rhodey has like his mon his sister his niece visiting him and they were worried but they know hes fine so theyre just talking and in a good mood and then—

door slams open. tony stark enter stage left. disheveled suit, fresh from a meeting he definitely was not supposed to leave, having flown in from maibu the second he heard and then had happy drive him and then got impatient because of traffic and ended up sprinting like ten blocks while happy was like what the FUCK

of course rhodeys family are well aware that these idiots are desperately in love with each other so they’re just like lol ok and just leave the room while tony starts fretting over him like he’s about to die himself if he doesnt know if rhodey is okay and rhodey is like tony tony dude tones stop tony im okay tony stop it

until finally tony just fucking breaks down like full on tears in his eyes voice cracking hands clasped as he leans against rhodeys bed and tells him that he was so scared and he is so scared all the time whenever rhodey is out there because all he can think about is losing him and him getting hurt or dying and it’s maddening and this is when they get their heads out of their asses and kiss for the first time

(irony at its finest bc later when they are married and tony becomes iron man rhodey refuses to not have a suit of his own because if tony is going out there in a metal flying tin can then he isn’t going alone and wow what a power couple)

sambucky:

firstly i’m going to go post tfatws, but i’ll make a bullet point before going into it so if you wanna read up until that point you can but most of this will be random little headcanons based post tfatws

also it isnt like a whole plotline thing like the ironhusbands ones ended up being these ones are more random and kinda all over the place but loosely connected

update from after writing this: i lied

let me start by saying my interpretation of why they are the way they are in civil war is because of steve

thats not saying steve is the bad guy i mean to say that they’re jealous of each other because they thought that THEY were steve’s best friend who the fuck is THIS guy i dont want him here go away

children. they are children.

which i find very funny to imagine from sams pov because he literally is a licensed therapist and would 100% recognize why he’s acting how he is but he’s petty enough to do it anyway

and also he literally was helping steve track bucky down but i like to imagine that sam didnt think they’d ever really find him again and it’d just make him and steve like super mega best friends or something because hes a CHILD

and then from bucky’s pov steve goes through all this trouble to find him and protect him and then this random guy is acting like steve’s best friend and gets to sit in the front seat ??? bullshit. absolutely bullshit. worst thing ever. so stupid.

its so funny to me okay its SO funny

its like that schoolyard thing where your friend makes another friend and you hate it so much that you do something stupid like color on their drawing or put gum in their hair or whatever but they’re adults with 1. super soldier serum or 2. a superhero reputation/avengers status and suit with wings. so thats a thing.

post civil war i dont think they get much yk. because bucky is out in cryo and team cap is on the run and i doubt theyre able to return to wakanda much, if at all, and then it’s infinity war and then it’s endgame and after endgame there’s the aftermath and the aftermath is a mess

i like to think they have some moments before tfatws though. not many but enough for that slight foundation thats we can kind of see in episode 2 yk.

okay NOW it gets into post tfatws so!!

SO post tfatws everything is different because now they not only have spent all this time together, but they understand each other in a way that they didn’t before. in a way no one ever has. not even steve, who may have known them before, but he isn’t here anymore and he wouldn’t understand who they are now vs who they were before and it’s different.

bucky finds comfort in sam’s home town. sam finds comfort in watching bucky find a home there and he doesnt know why.

also sam treats redwing like a puppy and lets him fly around on his own and gets pet and stuff and bucky acts annoyed but the longer it happens you can tell he’s like “oh my god why is this thing endearing”

bucky has nightmares and sam knows this but bucky doesnt know that sam also has nightmares until one night when they’re still in sams home town and they’re staying on the boat because sams nephews are having a sleepover with some friends and they didnt want to get in the way or smth idk i just want an excuse for them to be on the boat and somewhat secluded from people but bucky already woke up from his nightmare and is out on the deck to get some fresh out and then oop

sam havin a nightmare too

because fucking of COURSE sam has nightmares he has been through some shit too!! not being able to catch riley and everything that happened since meeting steve and thanos and he turned to dust alone in the bushes ok like yes everyone that died were traumatized undoubtedly (peter my baby boy baby im so sorry that you got the worst of it) but bucky was around people but sam was laying on the ground and probably just watched his hands as he disappeared and he was alone and like. jesus christ ok.

and then steve trusted him with every weight and everything that comes with the shield not knowing how much more the shield has when he gave it to a black man and just like he has nightmares everyone in marvel does its a fact

but bucky finds out like this and he is shocked even though he realizes he probably should have been able to guess that this is a thing and he knows so much more about sam now than he ever did but this is how he learns more. he learns about riley. he learns so much.

sometimes bucky has those like “oh shit” moments where he’s like “maybe i was kind of a dick to someone who didnt deserve it” and he already had one of those with sam about the shield but he has another one because he assumed shit about sam when they were being all childish and jealous about someone else being friends with steve but like fuck

steve and sam probably got it

the not catching someone. the way it felt to try and to reach out and to miss and to have to choice but to watch as they fell.

what’s different is that steve got bucky back. he got to have that relief, eventually, even if there was the pain of knowing bucky had been taken by hydra, but at least he knew bucky had made it.

sam didn’t have that. riley didnt make it.

therefore, bucky has his “oh shit”

and bucky was already going soft around the edges with sam (as clearly seen in the last two episodes of tfatws, ESPECIALLY the finale because like did tou SEEZ ALL THE HEART EYES oh my GOD) but it’s this that really makes something in him melt and he just. he loses the last remnants of whatever tension or resentment or whatever negative feeling he may have been clutching onto.

there wasnt much left. but now theres none. now its all washed away.

its gone, and he gets it.

sam is a licensed therapist and he knew the reason he was being all dumb and childish and jealous with bucky was because steve had another best friend but also because steve’s other best friend was the guy that had been a big factor in how him and steve understood each other and how they bonded and it

it had kind of felt like they lost part of that when they found bucky again in civil war and he kind of wanted to blame bucky for it even though he didnt actually blame him at all so all it translated to was that dumb kind of jealous thing instead

but now it’s just them. its sam and bucky and it isnt steve and it isnt about steve and it shouldnt be because its about them. its about the boat and the water and the way they sit and watch the waves while the silence settles over them and the way that bucky says, “im sorry.”

its the way sam says, “me too.”

and bucky says, “you dont have to be.”

its the way they stay there until sarah comes to get them for breakfast and sams nephews convince them to play with them and their friends and the world is still shit and there is so much to do but

but its this and its them and that can wait

it can wait

they can take their time if they want to

maybe they’ve earned that much, at least

(it isn't a fast development because they're a complicated pair and there's so much to the two of them that need to figured out individually before they can even realize how well they work together, but the steps are so much easier knowing that they have the other in their corner and bucky knows that sam's home town is a place he's welcome to go and sam helps him make his own dreary little apartment into something that feels real and tangible with a bed and a couch and when they've become something that resembles stable and they've found a balance and they're okay, that's when they realize that maybe they can try for the more that sometimes bubbles under their skin and that they started to think about the more they spend time together. the warmth that sam feels every time he sees bucky playing games with his nephew and the smile that bucky has to fight to hide and still can't fully suppress when sam stands tall and proud with the shield in its rightful place, and it takes time, it takes work, it takes carefully placed bricks to build the foundation they need, but they get there, and when they do...

when they do, they're already happy, and it just makes them happier, and that's what makes it so much better.

that's what makes it worth the wait.)

[khaleesiofalicante]

OH MY GOD! ITS HAPPENING! Its only the summary and I’m emo 😂 I should be studying for my exams, but I have tomorrow for that ;)

Ok, lets do this:

UDHWIJSHW THEY ARE SO CUTE FOR EACH OTHER I CANT-

"He preferred to hide his heart away. But he couldn’t hide David. He didn’t want to. David deserved to be seen." Like father like son. Both speeking poetry about their love ones. (and no, Idk which father I'm talking about 😂)

“I don’t think they are fake dating,” David hummed from the other end. “You don’t talk for hours every night if you are just fake dating.” (THANK YOU DAVID! SOMEONE THAT ITS NOT BLIND)

"They like doing chores. Let them do it. They fight demons all day and then come home and do chores. I feel like it’s their form of therapy. They need this.”“So, by not helping them, we are technically helping them?” Bapa had asked and Max had nodded with a grin. “Shadowhunters are weird.” “True dat,” Max had laughed. They were all weirdos. But Max loved them anyway. He loved his weird shadowhunters. (The domesticity lf this is killing me in a good way🥺)

“Will you on a date with me? Tomorrow?” Max asked then – because why the hell not. (Hell yeah Max. Go big or go home babe😎)

“This date is going to be the best first date in the history of first of dates.” In retrospect, he really shouldn’t have said that. (I'm already feeling his chaotic ass will do something like Magnus did, but lets keep hope)

"Maybe Lexi and Liv would probably enjoy a date – a fake date - in the arcade." Could I be more in love with both of them?? Is that physically possible?? 💙

Elyaas giving Max dating advice!! Lmaooo 😂😂

"His parents would not be pleased if they knew Max was summoning demons for relationship advice. But they had also encouraged Max to make friends with everyone regardless of their identity. So, technically this was their fault. They gave him very mixed messages."  YOU LIL SHIT. YOU ARE NOT WRONG THO...

FUCK. An attack??

You lil shit Max.

Yep, Rafael has to deal with it everyday 😂

OOMG YESS. THE ALIANCE RUNE!!

"So, when he got tired, he would simply fix the problem by eating. It was a win-win to be honest." I feel like I should say something, but tbh it makes sense

Ok, this fight is intense

Wait. Anjali is there???  What?

Oh ok, it wasn’t

“Say the thing!”Rafael groaned and raised his hands, the alliance rune lighting up.“I’m not just a shadowhunter,” Rafael said through gritted teeth. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.” I'm dead 😂

THAT SCENE WAS EVERYTHING. LOVE THOSE TWO

“Well, demons are stupid,” Max pointed out. “Yeah, that makes sense,” Rafael said with a mouthful of food. “You are half demon after all.” “Asshole,” Max laughed and punched his brother.

“Text dad we are okay,” Rafael said, slowly recovering. “They will worry.”Max nodded and did that. (This just summ up sibling relationships so well *chef kiss*)

“It can be hard, Max. Bapak and dad…Sometimes I look at them and feel like I will never have what they have.” YUP. THEY HAVE SIBLINGS DYNAMIC. ALSO RAFAEL IS JUST 🥺🥺🥺

David got wounded???

Oh ok. False alarm.

Rafael sat down next to him and put Bapak’s head on his lap, gently massaging it.

“Are you okay?” dad knelt down next to his husband. “Just a little tired,” Bapak replied.A little tired. Max knew Bapak was fucking exhausted."  "Bapak never showed it. He never complained. Max wondered what else he hid away from everyone else." “Okay,” dad whispered and kissed his husband on the head. “Get some rest, my love.” Bapak nodded and closed his eyes as Rafael hummed something softly. (Well, now I'm crying 😭😭)

" His niece found an herbal medication that helps with the pain.” ANJALI!! I LOVE HER💙💙

"Dad finally smiled and went out to the balcony, phone in hand. He seemed to hang out in the balcony a lot lately" No no no. I dont like this. Babe find a better copying mechanism!!

"Bapak smiled then. A brilliant grin. The one dad probably fell in love with." jsyeihdiej I cant🥺💙

"Bapak sniffed when dad sat down next to him and gave him an odd look. But he didn’t say anything." Magnus tell him something. I dont like where this is going😭

“Does that mean Bapak is a capitalist?” Max asked. “Do not drag me into this!” Bapak protested and dad laughed at that" Ahh yess. Typical family discussions 😂

"David: Mr Herondale yelled “Yes! Two out of three!” (😂😂 I HONESTLY LAUGHED WAY TO HARD!!)

“Well, no! I don’t want drama. But I want you to be dramatic so I can tell you not to be dramatic!” I would like to say WHAT? but I honestly get it 😂

“Also, we all know you had an embarrassing crush on Uncle Jace growing up,” Rafael snickered. “And you definitely still have a crush on Uncle Jem.” Oh god 😂😂 but I mean... Who doesn't have a crush on Jem?

“Oh yeah?” Max demanded. “Well then let me explain your type. You are probably going to fall for someone who is like a combination of Aunt Izzy and Aunt Lily! Some femme fatale type who is a heartbreaker and looks like a supermodel and-” Boy got it right huh? 😂

“You two are dating?” dad demanded. “Since when? Who else knows about this? Why didn’t you tell us before? Were you dating when you were in London? Magnus, did you know about this?” “There you go!” Max yelled triumphantly. “That’s the dramatic reaction I was looking for. Thanks, dad!” lmaooo 😂😂

"And that’s how the next hour turned out to be the most painful and most embarrassing hour of his life." I. I have no words

“I’ll have you know this conversation utterly traumatized me. I demand financial compensation.” “Not happening,” dad said into his coffee, and Max groaned before walking back into his room. (THAT FAMILY 😂😂)

" I tried to hurt your father once.” OH no, the angst is coming

" He didn’t know about this. He knew about their story. Everyone did. The accords hall kiss. The fight in Edom. The changing of the law. Their love was legendary. Not this!" THIS IS BRINGING BACK SO MANY FLASHBACKS

“All I know is that I was terrified. I love your father. I love Magnus more than anything in the world. And I didn’t want to lose him. And I didn’t know what to do.” 😭😭 NOT AGAIN!!

"When you love someone so much, sometimes you do crazy things.” THIS

" Love had made a fool out of them. Love had made them blind." Yup. tsc: a summary

"When you love someone, you have to be honest with them" And THAT is character development!!

"They called it The Jem effect." I'm using this from now on 😂💙💙

"Uncle Jem was wearing a tank top and and ripped jeans." So its time for SIMP over Jem Carstairs? Okey then.

"In fact, he used to have a crush on both Tessa and Jem. It’s how he had found he was bisexual." Same here 😂

“MINA! I SWEAR TO LILITH I AM GOING TO GET YOU BACK FOR THIS!” OH MY GOD I LOVE MINA!!

“In my defense, I was busy!!” “Oooo, someone has been getting busy!” Mina WINKED. (You lil shit! I love her 💙)

He didn’t know he could blush!!!

" They had gone to hell and back for Roman. It wouldn’t have been possible if not for Catarina. She was, and always has been, a miracle worker." Again, I love my queen💙💙

“I believe in Mavid supremacy.” ME TOO

"There is something so queer about Ferris wheels!" Someone needed to say this

"They had their own space in the spiral fucking labyrinth. These fucking legends." I BELIEVE IN WARLOCK TEAM SUPREMACY

"But Ragnor had always had a soft spot for Rafael." 🥺🥺

I love my warlock squad so much I cant-

Ragnor is so done😂

“I don’t want to lose him,” Max said it out loud for the first time. “But you will, Max,” Catarina said gently. “Everyone loses people they love. Every day. It’s how life works.” (its to early to be crying)

“Yes, we do,” Ragnor replied. “But it also means we fall in love over and over. Century after century. It’s our blessing.” (these warlocks are just to perfect)

“And that love is going to last for a lifetime,” Tessa said softly. “Can you imagine that? Someone loving you for centuries. Someone remembering you for eternity. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?” 🥺🥺

David deserved to be loved like that – endlessly and impossibly. (OK BUT THE PARALLEL)

Tessa should definetly write a guidebook

“Je t’aime à la folie,” Max said.David’s eyes widened. “Vraiment?“ "Je t’aime. Je t’aime de toute mon âme. Je t’aime pour toujours.” ( I literally screamed and woke up my sister, I just love them so much!!!)

"David smiled. The smile Max fell in love with" 🥺🥺

“I know I am not your forever and I am okay with that.” Max bit his lip. “Okay.” “But you are mine,” David said. “You know that, right?” (ksidjdldk its just all this was beautiful!)

“I got it all planned,” Max said – for someone who had no idea what he was going to do." (Me as I should be studying 😂)

" And you were just scared. You were just a kid." “I just…I just realized you might not have had that when you were growing up – that there might not have been people you could talk to about these things.” THAT!! LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!

"Max pulled him closer and kissed him again. Every kiss a promise. A promise to love. A promise to fight. A promise to survive" I would die for this two

OMG he took him to the Celestial Palace!! Thats so perfect and 🥺🥺

“Oh mon dieu! Ceci est incroyable! Il y a tellement de livres! Oh mon dieu! Je l'aime tellement!”💙💙 Idk how you manage to make me love David even more

“Of course he doesn’t hate you!” Max chuckled. “But he did say he will put your nerd ass in the silent city if you don’t bring me home by 11.” David blinked. “You’re joking, right?” “Of course,” Max grinned. His father had actually said that but there was no need to scary poor David any further. (😂😂 Imagine having the Consul as father-in-law, poor David)

“Yeah, not good with words my ass,” Exactly!! They say they are not good with words and procede to recite poetry of their love one??!!

Ughh I love this chapter so much and I loved how they deal with the inmortality thing! I just love when people comunicate and talk to each other! THATS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP! And how they didn't repeat Alec and Magnus mistake. I just love it! *chef kiss*

Anyway, this was really long and it took to open notes to fullfill, so i'll just leave💙💙

Bro I just felt like I read the whole chapter again and I am feels. I AM FEELS SEND HELP. Not me catching feels over my own shit lmaooooo.

Thank you so much. I have some work to do and I was like meh and now I have some energy to do it lol. I hope you spend tomorrow studying! You better!! Good luck!

ps - I love you notice the parallels and references. It makes me lil heart go boop!

also why do I feel like y'all are eternally doing exams????

[normal-thoughts-official]

Izzy and magnus brotp headcanons if u have any bls

i do! i dont think ive ever been asked about them before so yay!

mandatory disclaimer that this post is about the show, not the books, and idc what happens in the books and wont be taking it into consideration here

okay so i think my brotp tag for them ("crazy scientists but make it glam") pretty much sums it up. i love the concept of crazy scientists magnus and izzy. like... if magnus and alec lose braincells when theyre together, magnus and izzy gain braincells, but lose Common Sense

because they are both so into similar things like physics and biochem and technology and magic, so if the subject comes up they will start excitedly talking about idk the possibilities for time travel or something, and alec of course has no interest in those things so hes like "k imma get a drink" and when he comes back magnus and izzy are Actually Seriously Planning On Launching Themselves To Mars and he has to be like "or maybe we could discuss this here on earth???" and alec is really not used to being the voice of reason when it comes to magnus but alas

and i just love magnus and izzy as that duo who can like spend hours talking in depth about the mechanisms of time travel or cures for magical diseases or whichever subject theyre focusing on at the moment and who make a mean team when working together but who can also get Too Excited and lose it a little

other than that the other thing i like about magnus and izzy is that they can relate to each other on that sense of being reduced to The Hot Fashionista, you know? like magnus is called a lothario and izzy is always treated like her one personality trait is Sexy™ and i think both of them kind of use that perception as an armor for themselves. i have talked about that in relation to magnus several times so i dont think it bears repeating because he himself compared his eyeliner to tiger stripes and magicked makeup on when he was feeling bad and alec was coming, so. but anyway my point is that izzy is no different and that was addressed in the sh that is good and lives in my head instead of her just being reduced to eye candy the whole show

like it's obvious that izzy's whole thing with being Sexy™ is something that she uses as part of her rebel act. like, her mom is gonna reduce her to a stupid slut anyway, so why not act the part? case in point: twi!izzy. in the world where the lightwoods weren't making her and alec's life hell, she allowed herself to be a lot more casual. also the way she is always talking about how she can do everything they do in heels, how she always uses her body to be "the distraction" and/or to gather information, to lure in demons even tho thats unnecessary, etc. like i think a part of izzy feels like sex is all she's good at and so she lays that in as thick as possible. she even kind of said so when she said that one of the reasons why she liked raphael is because she knew that sex wasn't a part of the equation for him

disclaimer! dressing in revealing clothes and/or sleeping around is not bad and doesnt inherently mean that the person has Unresolved Issues that end up manifesting like that, or whatever. i think izzy also dresses as she does because she likes it and good for her! she also clearly likes sex and good for her!!!! and it definitely doesn't mean her relationships are shallow because we saw how fiercely loyal she is to those he loves, platonically or romantically. i just think that the way she built her identity around that is partially because it is a good armor - if she presents herself as shallow and concerned only with instant pleasure and looking pretty, people won't get too close. and when they treat her as such, it doesn't hurt as much because she IS laying it on thick and she IS sexy and she can use it to her advantage, even to manipulate people, so whos laughing now?

for example, in s1 in particular izzy was always acting like she cared about nothing but having fun and going to parties, yet it was obvious that izzy actually cared way more about saving the downworld and helping those she loves, particularly alec. like she presents herself as shallow and unconcerned with anything but her own pleasure but it's clear that she's willing to throw all of that away - even give herself up to get married to whoever her parents choose, her own worst nightmare - for what actually matters and drives her: her loved ones and what she thinks is right. she was okay with getting deruned for what she believed in, thats not a shallow person. so obviously that whole thing was an act, and well, why put up an act like that when it borders on annoying honestly? i think it's to protect herself, for the reasons listed above

plus, it makes her mom mad, and a part of her is obviously defining herself in opposition to her mom. if her mom wants something out of her, she does the opposite, and that applies to her clothing too

anyway all of that is to say that magnus and izzy have a similar relationship with 1- their "lothario"/"slut" personas, and 2- the way they understand fashion and clothing. it's about expressing something to others, something that protects their vulnerabilities, for the both of them. and while i don't think they (particularly izzy) are exactly dying to go deep into that subject and their armors, there is that understanding between them, you know? and under the right amount of alcohol and in a safe enough environment when its just the two of them they might even talk about it and its nice to have someone who completely understands it, you know, that pretty specific defense mechanism and being reduced to sexualized stereotypes (especially since both of them are bi. id mention both of them being brown too but izzy's racial belonging in the show is uhhhhh weird to say the least so i wont get into that)

and also just the silly things! going to parties together, going shopping together, remember when magnus and izzy were both wearing the exact same color scheme and pattern? obsessed with the idea of them color coordinating just for like, the challenge of creating outfits that dont look the same or even like theyre supposed to match but that have similars colors and textures and patterns, you know?

also they are fantastic at gifting each other and somehow always know Exactly What The Other Has Their Eyes Own. like izzy will give magnus some eyeliner and he'll be like "how did you know ive been meaning to buy that?" and she'll go "i didnt" and wink at him, and the opposite is also true. or alternatively izzy will get him a book on astronomy and he'll be like "how did you know i was hyperfixating on black holes??" and she'll be like "i didn't" and the other way around as well. alec asks for their help buying gifts for the other more often than not, but izzy realized a long time ago that magnus likes alec's gifts better than hers, because even tho they aren't always a perfect fit, they are always so thoughtful and blow him away even tho that was in no way alec's intention (see: the omamori)

also izzy is fiercely protective of alec, magnus, and their relationship as a whole, which sometimes really warms magnus' heart when she just. jumps in to their defense when someone is being bitchy, you know? it's nice that she has their back

and i think thats all i have for now but aaa i love them

[apenapaperandadoofus]

RFA PLAYS AMONG US HCS

YES I LOVE THIS

And imma add the minor trio and Rika too!

RFA+minor trio+Rika playing among us:

Zen:

As crewmate: he’s pretty chill, his avatar is the white one with a halo (because he has an angelic face), his name is Zen with a little heart and he sticks with you and Jaehee most of the time. He does some of his tasks, to prove he’s innocent and then he’ll follow you and Jaehee around to sort of “protect” you. When an emergency meeting is called he is the one in the groups that talks and tries to find out who’s the impostor, along with some other people. He will say that you and Jaehee are innocent and he’ll defend you :)

As impostor: he gets caught immediately because he always kills Jumin first and then when an emergency meeting is called he’ll say “I’m sure he deserved it” or he’s just laughing evilly in the background. He will kill everyone except you and Jaehee! Another way of finding out if it’s him is that he will also kill whoever killed him last round just to get some revenge pft. But the more you all play, the better he gets and soon enough he’s fooling everyone around him (I mean he’s an actor, he can lie) so Zen is pretty good at being the impostor (but he doesn’t kill you or Jaehee so that’s another way of finding out it’s him lmao)

Yoosung:

As crewmate: He plays with the light green avatar, and he didn’t really have like an accessory until Seven hacked into his server and made Yoosung’s avatar wear the post it note that says ‘I’m dumb’ or something like that lmao (he also changes Yoosung’s name to baby Yoosung or something like that which makes Yoosung so freaking angry pft.) Anyway, since LOLOL is something that requires teamwork, he’s pretty good at it! He’s always doing his tasks and sticks to you or Seven. He is the one that gets killed first tho, on A L L O F T H E R O U N D S which makes him shout and scream (sometimes he will rage quit while Seven is just laughing his ass off.) Also if he isn’t killed by the impostor then he’s voted off pretty early lmao

As impostor: he’s an angry chihuahua out for vengeance. He normally gets caught in the 2-3 round. Also. He kills V first so thats how you know. He will literally just kill V and then he won’t do anything else, his purpose is complete (he might kill Seven if he feels like it tho.) its pretty easy to know when he’s the impostor lmao. Also he doesn’t know how to really lie and you can catch him pretty easily.

Jaehee:

As crewmate: she is so freaking perfect holy shit. She gets her tasks done super quick, and she’s the one that can actually guess correctly about who the impostor is. Her avatar is the orange one, and she doesn’t really have any accessories, her name is simply Jaehee. When she’s crewmate she’s super cooperative, and she’s just, the perfect player. She loves trying to figure out who the impostor is, and she’s the one that actually uses evidence to get someone voted off.

As impostor: dude. SHES PERFECT TOO PFT. She is literally one of the best impostors. No one is able to suspect it’s her, and she managed to get the group to vote off someone without seeming too suspicious. She also may or may not sometimes kill Jumin first, it mayyybe makes her a bit happy lmao. She will leave MC for last though, and she will follow MC all around the ship. She doesn’t usually kill a lot though, she mostly sabotages the ship and that’s how she wins.

Jumin:

As crewmate: MY BEAUTIFUL BABY AHHH.

So, his avatar is purple, and he has The cat head hat as his accessory. Seven hacked so his name would be Cat Mom. Alright so our baby actually gets killed first lol. If Yoosung doesn’t get killed, then it’s him. He also finishes his tasks quickly (once he learns how to really play, it does take him a while and he will need your help.) When he isn’t killed he’s also really good at finding out who the impostor is, using facts and logic. He’s a genius my babyyyy. I love him pft. Anyway, Jumin is really really good at finding the impostor which is why they also always kill him lmao. He will stick close to you no matter what.

As impostor: listen. The first time he played and got impostor, he immediately said in the chat: MC can you explain this to me? I can’t do the tasks, and it only lets me ‘vent’ and ‘sabotage’. Do you know what this means? Also why is my name in red?”

He shortest round ever lmao. But then, he’s super good,once he gets the hang of it. The only people he refuses killing is you and V. He’s super good at lying, no one can tell it’s him because he’s perfect at defending himself. Jumin kills and sabotages, he usually does a bit of both. If he has to kill someone like you or V,he will immediately apologize in the chat, and apologize for everyone he balmed or killed too lmao. But it’s so cute. Also Seven taught him that whenever a game finishes he has to say ‘gg ez’ and now he won’t stop saying it. ‘Mr. Han, we managed to sign the contract with Mr. Kim.’ Gg ez. He leaves the chatroom, he signs off with gg ez. ‘Jumin would you like your pancakes with sugar?’ Yes love, thank you. Gg ez. It won’t. Stop.

Saeyoung:

As crewmate: boi. This guy is just super chaotic. He will act like he’s the impostor to scare everyone. He will be following you to make you uneasy. He doesn’t really do the tasks, and mostly focuses on teasing Yoosung or Jumin. He’s also the reason Yoosung gets voted off pretty early lmao. He’ll call an emergency meeting the first 5 seconds of the game and say he just missed you all, and wanted to see your faces pft. Still, when he gets his head in the game (ooo get dat reference??) he’s super good. Sometimes he will play seriously, but it’s like, a 1/100 chance lol. His avatar is the red one, and his accessories will change every single round.

As impostor: He’s still chaotic lmao. As for his name...it’s green lmao. It’s mostly when he’s playing with other people though, but Jumin will always refer to everyone by their username, so he will say “I saw Green vent.” And then everyone will voye Yoosung lmao. He’s like CallmeKevin (his Among Us videos are amazing, rip to peepeepoopoo, 21, Big Chungus, and the rest.) Saeyoung is just a huge troll lmao. He will also kill in front of Yoosung and then proceed to say that Yoosung was the one who did it lol. Oh I really want to play with him lmao it’d be so fun to form a freaking alliance.

V:

As crewmate: he’s super cooperative. His avatar is the turquoise one, and his accessory is the snow crewmate (Seven hacked so V could have one pft.) V always does his tasks. He isn’t one to suspect people, and he’s always the one that reports the bodies. He believes that no one gets voted off unless you’re all 100% sure that the person is the impostor. V was the one that taught Jumin how to play and they mostly spend the whole game together. Also if someone kills him, he’ll be the one to apologize (LMAO I’m sorry, but it’s now a rule that V has to always apologize for something in my head canons, B U T you KNOW he would! This man will apologize for being born lmao -honey no please-)

As impostor: he will lowkey cry. Nah I’m joking lmao. He doesn’t kill everyone and mostly uses sabotage. He doesn’t really blame anyone either. He’s like...a pacifist impostor lol. He doesn’t like getting impostor that much, but he’s the one that gets it’s like three times in a row. There’s nothing else to say, because we all know that V ain’t doing shit as impostor lmao he’s a sweet baby that doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. He does sometimes kill accidentally, when someone suddenly appears close to him he will sometimes press the kill button (he always forgets it’s there) and ends up killing the person, then he’ll confess to everyone and apologize pft.

Saeran:

As crewmate/Impostor:

Ray: sweetest bean ever. Has the pink avatar and the little flower as accessory. He likes doing his tasks and will follow you around every where. He’s always super quick to blame Saeyoung though. As impostor he will always kill Saeyoung and V. He’s actually really good at lying, since he looks so sweet and innocent. He won’t kill you.

Suit: Black avatar, knife hat. He’s always suspicious. He won’t let anyone follow him. He doesn’t really do his tasks, and is not one to participate in the chat. He always laughs when someone gets killed. As impostor he always wins. He will kill everyone in a single round, no one really knows how he does it, but when he’s impostor the round is never long.

Unknown: he has the black avatar too, with the fedora cuz why not? He doesn’t really do his tasks, and mostly follows you around. Not to like, frighten you or anything, but he does like teasing you sometimes. He will not take part in the discussion most of the times, but sometimes he’ll just say: it’s zen... and BAM he’s right.

SE! Saeran: he has The pink avatar and the little crewmate pet. He likes doing tasks and walking around the ship. He also won’t really participate in discussions. He doesn’t really like getting impostor, and he will always win by sabotaging. It’s just...something about killing them (even though it’s a game) that makes him feel weird. Sometimes he will kill Saeyoung though, but it’s probs because he wants to get revenge for a prank or smth lmao.

GE! Saeran: he has either the pink or white avatar, with the flower hat or the snow crewmate. He always follows you around and is pretty good at doing tasks. He’s also a bit more active during discussions. When he’s impostor sometimes he will kill Saeyoung, but it’s in a more to tease his brother kind of way. He is pretty good at lying, but he will always tell you if he’s the impostor. He also won’t tell if you’re the impostor on a round too lmao,he’s just so cute and loyal.

Vanderwood:

As crewmate: first. How in the diddly darn fuck did you get him to play LMAOO. He got stuck with the a maid hat and dress that Seven made for him lol. He’s fine as a crewmate, and he is the one to vote people off mostly because of gut feeling. He can always catch Seven when he’s the impostor too lol, he’ll just call an emergency meeting five seconds into the game and type: ‘it’s seven’ and 80% of the time it is.

As impostor: the other 20% of the time he isn’t right about Seven is because Vanderwood is blaming him lmao. He’s a really sneaky impostor, he’s super good at using vents and great at killing people. He’s also one to win the rounds pretty quickly.

Rika:

As crewmate: she’s still sus lmao. Yoosung is always defending her though. Rika doesn’t really do her tasks, she doesn’t really do anything really. She follows you around, and will always say you’re innocent though. Her avatar is the yellow one with ram horns (don’t ask why, it’s the first thing that popped into my head lmao)

As impostor: ahhh she’s super good at manipulating and blaming others. She also frames V a lot lmao. She will kill everyone, no mercy at all. Saeran and Yoosung are always defending her, so she’s pretty good and hiding that she’s the impostor. During meetings she’ll stay quiet and mostly watch, but sometimes she will say something to stir the blame to someone, in such a...natural manner. She’ll just be perfect at shifting the blame without being suspicious. She’s really good at being impostor.

[ao3gingerswag]

Sammy has experience stealing things. He knows Dean will only take his help when he’s desperate, but he’s used to sneaking and stealing things for Dean. When he was little, he saw Dean being hurt for coming home without enough coin, so he tried stealing coin from John to give to Dean while Dean was wandering outside trying to make money. He was caught and Dean came home to Sam hurt badly and Sam was so little that he caved and told Dean all that had happened. Dean held him and cried and cried and made Sam promise not to do it again and Sam did promise, but the temptation is always there.

When market day comes, Sam is given a penny and has a great time buying a fun treat and doesn’t even think until they’re headed home that he could have held on to the penny for Dean to get out of punishment later. He could have saved Dean from a future beating without even stealing. He feels so selfish and short sighted. Now that the thought is in his mind, it feels like any day now Cas will tell Dean to go make money and Dean won’t make enough. So Sam decides to steal a few coins from Cas, slipping them into his pocket after a customer pays for food and finding a good place to hide it. It’s not much, but it gives him a feeling of a little safety until he can trust Cas.

-Ace

omggggg ;~; yes yes baby ;~; he wants to help dean!!! oh no the idea of him trying to steal money for dean to give to john is </3 ! and dean would be fucking hysterical if he came back to find sam hurt because he’d been trying to help dean. maybe sam does Get It that he cant steal from john bc if he gets caught dean will fucking lose it again just be so so fucking sad and scared. and he hates seeing dean like that so he doesnt do that again (breaking dean’s heart is scarier to him than getting hurt on his behalf ;~;). but hes like. ok i cant steal from JOHN. what about other ppl. and maybe thats how he starts pickpocketing. but ofc dean wouldn’t accept that money to give to john, bc he didnt Earn It, and bc he’s too loyal and obedient to even consider lying to him ;~; so instead sam slips the coins he steals into dean’s pockets, so when he goes to give john the $$ hes just like ?? huh i dont remember making that much? weird! (its never enough anyway though ;~; john is always mad. and then dean feels like he failed, but secretly so does sam, bc he didnt manage to steal enough to placate john. and he cant even talk about his guilt to dean bc he doesnt want dean to know!!! oh no ive made myself sad)

thief/pickpocket!sam has a very special place in my heart.

ok i love this idea about market day. i think i mentioned somewhere else that both dean and sam are 100% gonna buy something for each other as like a ~surprise~ come market day. so sam def gets something for dean, but whatever it is, its not just literal coin. and then yes ;~; theyre heading home and sam is happy w/ whatever little toy dean got him, and hes happy watching dean eat whatever sweet sam got him <3 and then hes suddenly like. wait. i should have saved that. dean might need that, to give back to cas later ;~;

so then yes!! he steals some coin from cas. he wants to have a good stash so that maybe it will be enough to appease cas later, but he’s smart so he doesnt just grab a whole bunch of money, bc he knows cas will notice. instead he like. does what u said. he just like pockets the money when he brings someone a cup of ale or something. and he does this like once every few days for a while, and hides the money under a floorboard or something.

(i think cas is way more meticulous than sam realizes tho, partially bc he’s autistic, he likes keeping track of things and having everything be very organized, he’s very detail oriented. so i think he does notice that they’re missing a penny or 2 here and there, whenever sam is on shift. but i also don’t think he thinks sam is stealing, i think he just thinks he’s 10 and distracted sometimes and still learning how to do the job effectively. after all, cas gets short changed sometimes too, when things r really busy. so he doesnt bring it up, bc he doesnt want to discourage sam or make him feel like hes doing a bad job ;~; <3)

anyway now i feel like this could go two directions- either at some point, sam realizes that cas is a good person who does his best to take care of them, and he’s overwhelmed by guilt. he returns the coins, crying bc he feels so bad, is still half convinced cas is gonna hit him, but he’s so repentant that he feels like he would deserve it. ofc cas does nothing of the sort and just comforts him, and sam gets to spill his heart out about how awful it was to watch dean scramble to make money for john and still get hurt, and how he used to steal to try to help him, and how he was scared he would have to do the same thing here ;~; and cas is like i will never ever make ur brother whore again, and i will never hurt him or u for not making money. ;~;

OR! over time he trusts cas more and more, but he still keeps his stash just in case. years go by tho, and he doesnt need it, and he never even thinks about it, bc eventually he’s at the point where he doesnt even question that cas is safe. so he totally forgets about the stash of coins. until one day like 20 years later he finds it again on accident. and hes like a full grown adult in his 30 whos married and hasnt been afraid for his safety in years and years. and he’s like. oh my god. ;~; and he remembers how scared he was back then and how big of a burden he had on his little shoulders. and maybe he sees his childhood self objectively and understands that he was trying so hard to protect himself and dean, even if he came off as spiteful and full of rage. and maybe he lets go of that last tiny leftover bit of self hatred, and forgives himself for the things he had to do to survive <3 ;~;

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hey!! 👋🏽😄 I know you said in your last rant about SK8 and Reki and Renga that you were one of those people that always looks up and learns from others, but after your last Langa edit, I just wanted to remind you how immensely talented you are. I might have not seen your first attempts at editing, but I know how it looks like when you're barely starting something, and I'm sure everyone is proud of the progress you've made and many people looks up to you as the level of skill they want to achieve. You're doing amazing! 💖💖💖

Hi, my love!!!!!! ASDFSDFGHG that’s soooo sweet, thank you so much for saying this, it really means the world to me <3 Oh, haha I’ve deleted most of my old videos so it wouldn’t hurt anyone’s eyes lmao T_T I’m still a bit nervous each time I’m uploading my vids to the day to be honest, even with so many subs rn, but at first I really didn’t have any supporters at all and my god I sucked at this, but I guess the love for my fav ships was stronger apparently haha. So I always get silly happy at each nice comment and feedback, so thank you seriously. 

I really love love love vidding, Idk why but when smth comes out the way I wanted it’s a super addictive feeling for some reason, but many times I just looked at the final result and just threw it in the trash and started over and my god how many times SonyVegas crushed and didn’t autosave the project. I’m like Suga now, I’m pressing the save button each 2 minutes, cause don’t want to lose anything xD Being someone’s inspiration is truly an honor to me, I’ve got some messages that hit me too hard. Still feels weird bc I’m like “but do you know that I can’t even use photoshop tho, how do u like me now then?” lol.

I’m always drawn to talented characters, bc they amaze me, esp the humble ones. Like those who hate Haru or Lanaga just buffle me honestly. I understand that they’re pretty and talented and everything, but they’re also the sweetest and loveliest human beings, so like...??? And I adore those who don’t whine and get what they want. I just can’t help it. I’m a strong believer in the fact that "you can do anything if you put your mind to it”. So far it worked in real life so suck it lol.

People are also saying like Langa doesn’t deserve to win this and Haru doesn’t deserve to be in Olympics, like Langa didn’t snowboard since he was 2 and Haru wasn’t swimming every day since he was born. I’m like.. and you need to check in the mirror if your face is a shade of green. BTW I’ve also been in a professional sports for quite a long time since I was a little kid, ballroom dancing and adored it back then, and I did not get jealous at ppl who were talented than me, I was watching the tapes actually with a popcorn. And oh god those large competition events when you sit there for days and give it all, but then you’re like 296 out of 1000. Why was I proud instead of being sad? Idk xD It was fun.

So thanks for liking the vid, cause I even regretted uploading it a bit yesterday. Sadly everyone already knows that we lost this fandom to the middle schoolers being extra, so they do not care for anything each episode except for this ship, so that’s what I got for posting a just Langa vid:

And etc. and that just made me sad, cause I do not like such fandoms, like it’s not even related to the video, that I’ve been making... with love.  Also thanks for the "sama” title, I’m flattered, but editor only wants to vid matchablossom for now, so like there’s no need for any warnings. I’ve been in such horrendoes fandoms, that I’m immune to this. I also in fact didn’t know some keep ruining Langa’s page and saying that he steals Reki’s screen time... cause he’s aparently the only main character...? ...lmao? I didn’t even know Langa can be hated tbh. I wasn’t really ready for all the drama that followed me making a vid about him.

I’ve already deleted some comments, cause I’m like what this even has to do with the vid about Langa? No, I am not obliged to make a vid about Reki, too. What if I post a matchablossom vid, everyone will only start commenting “do renga”, cause fuck your efforts? I’m like... I hate such fanbases, seriously. I do not even know where this is going, but their fans are already pissing me off. I’m still trying hard for this to not affect my point of view about the ship, cause it’d be kinda unfair to them, but its getting harder each week istg.

And I maybe can’t take requests, but I love when some try to get me addicted on their ship with passion and great arguments. It happened to me with some nice ppl. But def not with agression and stupidity haha.

Cause apparently its one of the fandoms where you can’t NOT care for the main ship, even if you accept it for the only possible Langa ship (cause he doesn’t give a shit for anyone else, so like what’s the point), but it doesn’t do anything for you. I’m like... thanks for threatening. This will make me on board ASAP. Like it’s not the epitomy of love to me... I’m sorry? LMAO 

Some anon even sent me a “you’re dense” (literally thats it) ask after that Reki ask. I was tempted to write smth like “oh I’m sorry, this is the most epic love story of my life and his character is the most complex in the world and he’s the best friend and the most inspiring human being that ever hit my screen. can I become undense now? xD”. But you know I do not know if they’d realise the sarcasm and my pride sadly never allowed me to sell my life values for a bunch of 12 years olds to love me lol

My sister always laughs and jokingly says “but you’d probably get much more subs if you made a vid about this or that, but at what price that would be lmao”. Cause yeah, I never could make myself vid smth I do not like, cause I love vidding and do not want it to be associated with things I do not like, plus it’ll most likely turn out ugly, if I do not care. My mom says that she can feel love I put in my shipping vids that’s why she loves them. I really don’t think she’s wrong. But that also kinda makes me an idiot technically, cause I’m not into many of the popular ships, and some popular animes I just find really basic. 

Also I’m like 100% sure it ain’t happening, but even if they miraculously suck each other’s dicks while sitting on a skate board, I can still have the rights not to care at the end. Like did I sign some form where I’m obliged to love each and everyone canon gay ship even if it’s not what I like? Like gay is not the type of love in relationships. You can only care about his ass like Lan Zhan for example or you can only care about your ass. Like that’s different types of relationships, and whatever you like you like. So get all the way of people’s backs, please.

Also do ppl know that you do not need to be blind to the bad sides of the characters in your ships? Or you just gonna be like “I suddenly can’t see” for forever.

So really thanks for such wonderful message and liking the video and for the boosts when I need them and not being an ass to me if I’m not being obsessed with smth, when you like it. (like I think we have different ship in bnha, right? but we’re still doing great tho, thanks for being an angel <3)

I still didn’t expect this becoming a Voltron 2.0. situation tho. We in our twenties see everything differently, I guess. I do get extra about “their love is everywhere”, but I do not get extra by anonymously attacking ppl, threatening creators and yelling “queeerbating psychotic blind assholes if these two aint fucking by the end of the season I’m shaving my head and jumping out of the window and shoot the director. you do not ship it HARD? YOU DUMB FUCK. THAT’S THE BEST LOVE STORY IN THE WORLD”. Like damn, take your blinders off and see the world, kid. Firstly, it’s definitely not, secondly, ppl see love differently in general and at each age too.

Ah, also you must kill Adam, cause he’s a pedo apparently. Like he ain’t even a threat to your ship, unless you’re blind, but they’re still at it, like they do not know that this kind of age difference is literally nothing for an anime? And that there are canon ships with a huger age difference left and right, too. It’s like its their first time approaching an anime or smth. Like in anime world character can literally kill 1000 ppl with his bare hands and bathe in their blood and we can still stan them, depends on their story, ok? Also Langa couldn’t care less for his advances, so like separate Adam from your ship pls. Like, fuck off, if someone is interested in his character. Yeah, he’s a weirdo for reasons, but anime kind of weird do not apply to real life. Stop acting like you’re some purist, when later you’re gonna ship smth else and it suddenly will not apply. Also rules do not apply to animes, everyone knows they do not apply. These are not western cartoons, my god. And 24 years old flirting with 16 year old is defiinitely not the weirdest shit anyone has ever seen in the anime. Chinese BL has characters who were 14 and 30 when they met and happily married. Also FICTION is not life. Literally no one cares. If you’re scared for your saint eyes, do not watch animes, you’re gonna have a heart-attack from what you can see there. Also we’ve seen gayer bromances in animes, who are just bromances, so pls do not shoot anyone if it’s not canon.

So basically I was kinda pissed yersterday, cause fuck them for ruining the tag, but after chatting with my hommies and your ask, I’m okay again, I just have to avoid this fandom and stick to a tight community xD. I just got used to my nice fandoms and forgot for a bit about the precautions you need to take if you’re in one of those. You know. Who make a circus out of lgbt, instead of supporting it, and make other ppl hate being in fandoms.

P.S. sorry for this partially unrelated rant, your messages really always make my heart bloom, so thanks for supporting me, and I know you’re proud of my progress, too <3 and this makes me happy. LY

[irameii]

HEATHER:||: ERIC

Warnings:|| one sided love

Summary: I wish I was her....

A laugh rings throughout the air. One so familiar, you cant help but smiling automatically at the sound. His presence, one that illuminates wherever he goes. Slowly turning around, there he is ,your best friend.

There it is , a smile, a gesture so simple yet it causes a million butterflies to flutter within you and causes your mind to go fuzzy. Its like he doesn't know his own charm or the control he has over you, but no one knows. No one knows the feelings you carry within.

(Idkh these pov thingys work yet sorryy)

Eric: y/n!!!!!!. Eric yells as he jogs closer, and grabs y/n's shoulder y/n: yes Eric?* deep breath* Eric: did you do the homework for math class? * Breathe* y/n: Yeah I did.I actually finished it before class ended yesterday. Eric: you're gonna let me see it right??? *heart beating gets louder* Take a step back Y/n : nope. You should've done it. *starts walking down the hall* Thinking he's wandered off you let out a deep sigh... Knowing if you let him beg enough youd cave in and you knew better. He would never learn this way.and soon enough you could see yourself falling farther and farther into his grasp over time and he didnt even know it. You let out one more sigh before turning around to see Kevin , who cant help but look at you concerned. Kevin: whats wrong y/n?

.. You avoid eye contact. Kevin is one of those people. Someone who can tell when someones upset. He can read you well. So you knew you had to leave quickly. Y/n: I didnt get much sleep last night. So I'm feeling quite off today, its nothing serious. *nervous laughter*

He seems to kind of believe it since he just nods his head as if he can see it apparent on your face.. But something feels off, like he's pretending to believe you for your sake but you just excuse yourself and head towards the bathroom.Totally unaware he hasnt stopped looking your way since turning around as he nods to himself again as if comfirming somthing to himself before turing to head to his own class.

Y/n Pov

*splash*

*in a quiet voice* 'Whats wrong with me..'.. Its like the moment I look at him I cant help it. My heart begins to race, my stomach ends up feeling funny like there are millions of butterflies, and I get nervous and run away each time he gets closer... *Looks back at self in mirror* only if he knew...

(5 min later.)

*sigh* *walks towards math*

Other POV

You sit down before class begins , and there it is again , his laughter, but this time its different. You cant help but turn around to see whats caused the change in his voice, and its like your throat gets caught. Her. The girl he always is talking to you about.It seems like he was finally able to build the courage to talk to her. The one he wants to take to the movies to see his favorite movies with. The one he wants to show his safe places to . The one who keeps him up at night. The one he wants to wear matching clothes with. The one he wants to spend his holidays with. Her. Its her. Guess he didn't need the homework anymore afterall.

You quickly turn back around , trying to keep your emotions in. You feel yourself go colder with each sound. A tightening feeling in your chest builds everytime you hear them laughing . You sigh and breathe in slowly , praying the class ends quickly .

The moment class ended you jolt up quckly and grab your things and head towards your locker for the next class.

Y/n Pov

*sigh* *grabs snack for break*

Eric:y/n!!!

I dont respond.

Eric:y/n? Whats wrong .*looks concerned*

There he goes again.

Nothing Eric i say. He looks in disbelief. Knowing theres something off.

Eric: hmmm.You sure sure?. Hmm Well lets go with the rest of the guys. They are waiting for us for sure. *wraps arm around shoulder*

It was like a sudden new reflex. I didnt mean to. But jerking away from him seemed like the only thing that my body felt like I should do...

The look of surprise on his face made me feel embarrassed I reacted that way. And as soon as it looked like he was going to ask me what was wrong again I speed down the hall.

And there I meet the rest of the guys , thankfully.

New: thank goodness you're here. Look help me out. Changmin keeps saying this chucky doll here is cute... Come get him .

I cant help but laugh. I take a seat next to Sangyeons right side while Juyeon is on my left.

Juyeon looks towards me as i sit and smiles that crescent moon kind of smile. Of course i return it .

Y/n: I dont know about chucky being cute. But his bride is quite a beauty tho.

New:..... You... You two are something else with your horror movies... Like... You know what, forget it. *laughs in defeat.*

Y/n: *dramatic gasps* my oh my you say that like WE'RE the weird ones.🙄👀

Sunwoo and Q: periodt👀👏

Eric finally arrives.

Eric: Guys!! Guess what?

Sunwoo: you did your math homework for once?

Eric:.... Mm well Uh no, i didnt

Sangyeon: you didnt ask y/n for the answers this time?

Eric: no i did, but she said no. I got it from. H/n (her name)

Hyunjae: so thats what it is. You spoke to her?

*breathe*

Eric: yes and guys, like, I think I've maybe got a chance.

There he goes again... Her. Its all her. JUST her...

Jacob: so did you ask her out?

Eric: yeah I did. I invited her to our movie night tonight. I was gonna ask you guys if you guys were cool with it beforehand but I didnt think I would must the courage to.

Juyeon: anything for you to get the girl. We got you

New: IF he gets her. She just doesnt know the headache she's in for.

Sangyeon: Guess all that practice on y/n was worth it.

Practice...

Thats all I was....

He says it smiling towards me , not knowing the hurt his words have just caused subconsciously but I cant smile. Not even a forced one. I just pretend I didnt heard him.

Eric: yeah she told me she actually thought I was dating y/n but of course I could never. We're like siblings.

Ouch...

New: true...

Q: I dont even think eric is y/n's type anyways

I make eye contact with someone who seems to have been watching my every move.

Kevin...

He looks like he is observing everything... From my reactions to my responses.After another 3 seconds he looks away.Not saying a word either.

Everyones laughing. Everyones congratulating him.

Younghoon:y/n?

Everyone turns to face me.oh .

Y/n: hm?

I was too lost in thought. I spaced out.

Sangyeon: What time are you coming by?

Y/n: for what?

Sunwoo: for the movie. We gotta all be Eric's wingman here. He needs all the help we can offer.

Oh.. She will be there too? Can I handle it? Yes? No? No I cant handle it

Y/n: Uh i cant . I have something that just came up. I just remembered.

I lied. And sure enough. I was seen through.

Eric: like what?

Y/n: something

Q: really? What is it? Maybe we can help you out so you can come by and hang out.

Something is snapping within me. I need to leave.

Y/n: no thanks. You guys have fun.

I get up before they give me a response. I cant be around them . not until i get over these feelings. But its harder than i thought. But i dont want to take it out on them either so I should try.

Everytime We'd see each other after that. It was HER. It was either him with her or about her.

Everytime in class, itd be HER.

Every text , HER.

And the guys went along with it.

And everytime , itd hurt. A punch to the heart. And a bit tighter it would feel each time.

And the constant reminder that its just HER and will always be HER..

only if he knew.. I wish I was her.... its like the way he'd talk about her was like he was telling you the reason for his existence, the way his eyes shined when hed see her and then theyd soften when she'd smile at him,the smile he'd have when hed describe her or simply talk about her and trust me he was always proud to, or the way he tried to contain his happiness when she'd come around to speak to him just showed me all i needed to know.

He loved her. She made him happy . Thats all that mattered.

I felt one of those sad smiles form. Because though he was happy . I was not. I dont want to be reminded its not me constantly..so with thaat thought. I call it quits. Until I no longer feel this feeling. I'll distance myself so I can let go properly and move on with time.

I suddenly stopped responding to the gc messages. Slowly started to decline to hang out. But it seems it wasn't a big deal though. She was there eveytime instead.She became apart of everything they did. And with that I started to spend all my time in the library as a way to naturally distance myself. The guys were worried at first. But once i told them I needed perfect scores to get into my dream college, they decided me spending most of my time in the library for it was alright. It was for my other "dream college" so I should put it first they said. For my future they said.And then they also suddenly stopped asking me to hang out.It didnt take long.They also suddenly stopped directing messages towards me in the gc. Personal messages as well. Slowly one by one. We stopped having things to talk about ,like we've become strangers with time.. Now to just glances every now and then, that was all. Other than that, we became just like strangers. Strangers with memories....

Suddenly..

Kevin: y/n...

*Distant laughter*

I turn to look at Kevin.Sensing he had something to say but it wouldnt come out. He looks towards the table and I follow his gaze towards the table full of boys with her in it. I can only smile. I smile when they errupt with laughter at something new and sunwoo said. Happy they're happy. And with that I turn back to Kevin.

I can only smile at Kevin. No words. Just a smile.

The look on his face says he has something to say still present.

For the past 6 months. He would have that same look on his face when I'd walk past him. But hes never actually stopped me.

Kevin: y/n...

And just like that . Suddenly I'm wrapped in a warmth I didnt think I missed. And it's like it went quiet..and the sound of sniffling fills my ears , and his hold gets tighter. Oh Kevin..

THE END.

Authors note: Maybe I can male a Pt2? This one turned out bad tbh .

I did not edit this but i will later onnnn thank youuuuuu

[stay-midnight]

Yeah it’s like bore gee actually my bad. Yeah it’s cause in Italian the I and E kinda switch so I - ee and E - eh. Just like package it and ship it over like 💳💥💥💥💳💳💥💥. I want it 👁👄👁. I would hum and just stay where I am, “they can wait a bit but for curiosity, who is it?”

Making out seems scary, like I would be the type to bite someone. Like NOM. ooo~ go get your person!! I would flinch then whine not knowing what to do, like I know like that it means for me to open my mouth so their tongue can slurp slurp my tongue. However how wide are you supposed to open your mouth like what if I look like a fish? I would pull away slightly from Hyunjin and look up at him, and just whine helplessly like help me idk what I’m doing- I would smile at Chan’s cuteness and leave a kiss on his forehead. I would move my hands down to his waist and rub my hands up and down. “Hmm besides a collar with the skz logo anything else my pup would like, I can get you a few more..accessories it seems like you’re missing some.” Chan in pupspace is too cute, it hurts my heart🥺😫

“Hmm we could like create a diversion and make a run for it. We could also just try to leave without saying anything. We also could just jump out a window too, that’s always fun. However I don’t want you getting hurt darling.” My hands would come up in surprise and rest on Hyunjin’s shoulders, I would Yelp. Then smile and roll my eyes amusingly, “You really like pulling hair don’t you Love?”

I want all the albums >:D I’m going to be so broke :,D I have a bookshelf just for stray kids in my room. I also have a Yellow Wood poster hung up with a photocard collage on my wall in a frame, no pcs were harmed. I would giggle and situate myself, moving myself to get comfortable. Tilting my head I would ask, “how may I help you?” I would blush and cover my face, leaning down to bury my face into his shoulder. I would hum along, nodding my head too. I would relax in his touch and close my eyes, letting him pet my hair. “Yeah, some are more easy to fluster than others, which is very much enjoyable.”

“I don’t mind you meowing hyung, but like at the same were you meowing or making weird noises? Or were you in one of those feels where you just need to scream?” I would tilt my head, “you remind me of someone I know, with the meowing being brought up. I know pupspace is a thing. Kitten/kit space or is it called cat space, a thing?. Anyway it just reminds me of that..you wouldn’t look too bad with a collar on,” I would mumble nonchalantly. “Good I wouldn’t want you to get hurt or be sad. My kitten needs to be happy and loved at all times!” I would smile brightly at Minho and shift to rest my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. I would let out a happy sigh and melt as he played with my hair. I mean I’m Okayish I’m very on and off with skinship. Like I kiss my friends like pecks and I can cuddle with them hold hands with them and be fine then the next day any of that makes my skin itchy and it hurts my brain. -•^•

Oop, idk italian so- 👽👽 tho ngl i want to speak it. I send me your p.o box imma take a chunk of me out- The knocking would stop suddenly and Jeongin hums beside you, “Well now that he left, what do you wanna do?”

I- thats a mood, that's coming from someone too that also doesn't know how to make out— aka me- Hyunjin would find it cute on how much you don't know. “Such a baby.” He’d say before leaning down to kiss you against, this time a more behaved tongue. Just licking your lips. Pulling away for a bit, “Just follow my lead, baby boy.” He’d say.

If Chan was an actual pup he’s tail would be waggling nonstop but Chan just nods as an answer as he knows better than to speak cuz pups don't speak. He’d prolly cling on to you afterwards.

Hyunjin would smile at your rambling “ let’s go without a word, though we might get scolded later by Chan-hyung.” he explains before patting your head. He’d laugh at your statement, “It might be a kink~” he’d tease.

I- give me some bestay, like i want— My birthday is coming up 🌚. Jeongin would laugh in amusement and keep you in his lap, “Pretty boy.” he’d tease you biting the top of your ears softly. “Are you talking about Chan-hyung, baby?” he’d raise an eyebrow with an unknowing smile.

“It’s Chan-hyung with the pup space hm? Oh kitten space? I think it exist, I don't have it though sadly~ Oh and since you talked about collars, how would you feel if I bought a pretty pink and black collar for my bunny hm? with bunny ears too maybe?~” He’d tease you, gripping your chin and forcing you to look up at him, “I appreciate the compliment, but I like holding the ropes here~ Maybe I’ll collar myself for you one day though~” he’d reply with a voice with a sexy undertone.

[paradise-creator]

Okayyyy. Seatbelt on, space cadet! I'm gonna take you on a loooong journey ✨

First of all hello again! I'm here to request for a Haikyuu romantic Haven Box if there's still a spot left. Take your time tho, I'm good at waiting 🙌🏻

here we gooo. so I'm an 159cm pansexual asian girl. I'm a little bit on the chubby side. I got long black wavy hair and I always let it down. People say I look rude and cold so they are afraid to befriend me at first (some even hate me for no reason.) I mean its not my fault that I borned with this resting bih face 😭💔 I love wearing dark colored clothes, high waisted jeans and Sneakers.

I do wear makeup, and my favorite lipstick color is red. Like a really bold red. That's like my trademark.

for personality, I'm an enfp, taurus, gryffindor (big yikes!); I think I'm a pretty openminded person. I'm not afraid to speak up and I will fight (both using words and fists) for what I believe in. People see me as someone confident and to look up to; Tho honestly I'm pretty insecure with myself. Like I find nothing good about me and got depressed easily. Its like I have this happy clown persona everytime I'm outside my house and once I go back to my bedroom by myself its all the sad clown hours haha. ooh- this is getting kinda heavy. 😵 But anyway I care about my family and friends a lot. Their happiness is actually more important than my own. So I'd do anything to help and protect all of them.

My hobbies are sleeping, singing and watching horror movies/true crime documentaries; and yes I got scared after watching those stuff so I ended up searching for some broadway musical 😂😂 I also love to play games; otome games, cause my love life sucks *coughs*

Some facts about me!!

I believe in soulmate. Just the thought that we all have someone created specifically for us is making me happy 🥺❤

I'm a touch starved person. So I like doing skinship and PDA. I just love being spoiled and showered with love I guess 👉🏻👈🏻

I hate spicy foods, cause it really burns my throat. and I also hate lizards. They are gross and weird 😭😭

I believe ghosts are real and I'd definitely want to speak to them someday. Just asking them how does it feel to be a ghost? Is there a way to help em stop being a ghost? (Only with the nice ghost of course) 👻💕

My favorite song is Helpless by Phillipa Soo and if that doesn't show how much of a Hopeless romantic I am then idk 😂😂

I love watching tarot cards reading.

I'm a sucker for enemies to lovers trope and I can't stop this addiction. Like aaaaa its cliche but I love em so much ashdjflgl

Okay thats it! I need to stop talking before my ask give you some real headache 😂 I wish all this information helps you write a little bit and not bother you in one way or another!! Have a great day and stay healthy in this pandemic situation 🙌🏻✨ see yaaaaa~☆

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ɴᴏᴡ ʟᴏᴀᴅɪɴɢ

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Hello and Welcome my Starlight!

The Haven box includes:

- Match up

- Sun drop

- Old habits die hard

-  No matter what

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

I'd match you up with

Oikawa Tooru, The Grand King

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Sun drops

- Okay, when I read your description Oikawa popped in my head. So on to the great king we go!

- I also had an Oikawa brain rot when I decided to do your request but either way, I still think you two would look cute!

- Oikawa is the most realistic character in Haikyuu and I believe you two would definitely match

- You feel insecure? No worries, Oikawa already saw it coming and is going to give you compliments and gifts

- He may not look like it, but he is really observant

- You can't hide your feelings from this man cause he has been through that

- You both were deemed the power couple of the school

- He would ALWAYS always remind you to take care of yourself

- Both of you seem confident and really out going but in reality, you both are really insecure

- You both would understand each other

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Old habits die hard

- He almost NEVER calls you by common nicknames, except for Queen and princess

- Your nickname can be something weird like my little Alien or smth

- Whenever you watch a game, he alsyws gives you his extra jersey or his jacket

- He would randomly say I love you and if you don't respond, he'll pout

- You gave him a plushie and he named it after you

- Stargazing (Alien hunting) is his favorite type of date

- Study dates almost always ends up with one of you dead asleep before starting anything

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No matter what

Oikawa Tooru is the grand king of Seijoh. He was handsome, smart, and all that. He was very athletic and observant. He gets along with everyone and anyone. He could get any girl to swoon to him but he is only loyal to volleyball and Iwaizumi. And that’s what people thought, but this king has fallen off his throne. He, has fallen in love and doesn’t know what to do. It started with the little things like seeing how she loves skinship or how she hates spicy food. He thought it was normal, he was observant after all. But as time passes, he realized that he might be falling. He tried and tried to avoid it, knowing that it might just hurt him in the end anyway. He knew that he wasn’t going to be able to fulfil what was in her heart because he would always choose volleyball. Oikawa had a girlfriend once, she left him because he wasn’t good enough, and he didn’t give her enough of his time.

Oikawa did not want that to happen again. He didn’t want his heart torn into pieces yet again. But still, he fell deep into the rabbit hole called love. And he hated her for it, becoming her enemy for no reason at all. But, fate seemed to be in his side. Soon enough the “mortal nemesis” relationship faded away and love soon blossomed. It wasn’t as smooth as most people would say but it’s still a beautiful sight to behold. The way Oikawa looks at her with so much love and passion, it’s breathtaking. The way that she would cheer for him no matter what, it’s alluring. A love so pure that it seems surreal and impossible. From then on, the great king knew that she was thee one. He knew that even if he was too busy, she would understand. He knew that she would always be by his side no matter what the cost is.

And he knew that no matter what happens, he would always love her. Volleyball may be his priority, but he will soon get out of it. Slowly but surely, the walls he built was crumbling away. Slowly but surely, his distant exterior grows into an attached and close koala. Oikawa’s train of thought was then shattered as he heard someone calling out to him. “Oi Shittykawa, why the hell is your face like that?” Iwaizumi said as he cringed at the sight. “Geez Iwa-chan, can’t a guy think about his soulmate in peace?” He then responded as he glared at the shorter male. “We have a game to play, Stupidkawa. And if you miss her so bad, why don’t you go to her at the stands and talk to her?” Iwaizumi said as he glared intently at his best friend. “I have a better idea,” Oikawa said as he stood up. His eyes wandered around the bleachers to find his one and only. And soon enough, he was able to see her long black wavy hair and her beautiful eyes. “Princess!” He yelled.

The female then smiled and waved at the player adorning the cyan colors with the number one. “Yes, my prince?” She yelled back. “Oh! My darling Princess! I love you with all my heart and know that no matter what, I’ll still be in love with you,” He yelled. The stadium awed at the interaction. Oikawa now found his one and only, his soulmate. And he would never let go, no matter what.

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Author's note

Hello there! I'm so sorry for doing this quite late. Since exams and school and all that.

I hope you enjoy this matchup nonetheless! And I also made sure that the drabble was a bit different and unique to make up for it. Since I decided to try out a new way of writing.