#my head which makes me all weird and panicky

[buck-yyyy]

sigh. don't you just love being emotionally closed off </3

[ellecdc]

Evan's little freak (affectionate)

prompt: There's something oddly comforting to me about how if I was freaking out about something and they were in their blitzed out state they'd help me calm down while sort of thinking I was a weird freak. - @moonstruckme

poly!rosekiller x fem!reader who is having some sort of mental breakdown [1k words]

CW: reader is having a quasi-panic attack, rosekiller do their best to help but they truly Don't Get It™, they think she's weird but love her anyway

Evan found himself very much unprepared and ill equipped to handle this right now. 

You’d come flying into the flat in a tizzy rambling on and on about some great injustice or upheaval in your life at a million miles an hour without hardly even sparing him or Barty a glance. 

Granted, the second blunt may have been a little much, but he generally did not know how to handle big emotions. The horrified and uncomfortable expression that Barty was wearing told Evan that he, at least, felt the same. Neither boy grew up exactly encouraged to feel their feelings out loud; pushing down all upset didn’t exactly lend itself well to empathy and compassion.

He wondered if he was simply imagining the heavy smoke in the room or if you were just oblivious to it; either way, you were clearly not on the same level as the two boys.

He’d come to the conclusion about two and a half minutes into your tangent that no one was dead or dying, and when he deduced that those were the only scenarios worth this amount of anxiety, he more or less sort of tuned you out; only registering the panicky quality of your voice.

Barty had tried calling your name a few times which only seemed to spur you on and cause Barty to look over at him in a bemused sort of concern. “What the fuck? Are you seeing this?” Barty seemed to be asking. 

I am seeing this, what the fuck, indeed.

“Poppet,” Evan tried in his most authoritative tone, hoping to hell that his words didn’t sound as slow and languid as the felt on his tongue, “you need to settle down.”

That had, apparently, been the wrong thing to say if the way you turned your body towards him with wild eyes and nearly shaking hands meant anything. 

“I can’t!” You shrieked, causing Barty to actually wince at the pitch your voice took. 

“But…why not?” Barty asked cautiously, and you burst into tears.

“Fuck me.” Evan groaned under his breath as he stamped out the end of his blunt; he was clearly done for the day. “Alright, hold on. Let me get my shit together so I can talk some sense into you. Calm down.” 

“I can’t.” You keened, Evan tsked at you. 

“Jesus Christ, you’re wild today.” He commented as he flung open the windows. Barty was already in the kitchen grabbing bottles of water and some snacks; following proper sober up protocol. 

Evan took the time to actually move the ashtray to the opposite side of the room, hoping to have as clear a head as he possibly could to deal with his wound tight little minx. Ruining his high by being all adorable and weird.  You were lucky you were so cute. 

“Treasure, you need to go sit down.” Barty murmured then as you seemed to be frozen in some sort of panicky fright in the centre of the kitchen. “Or maybe light up for a minute…” He added sarcastically under his breath. Unfortunately for Evan, you heard him.

“I can’t do that, Barty! I get paranoid!”

“As opposed to whatever you are right now?” Barty asked incredulously then, and you let out a gut wrenching sob. 

“Okay! Okay, fuckin’ hell. Come here.” Evan called as he sat back down in his chair and beckoned you forward with one impatient hand. 

“This is too much, pet.” He chided as he pulled you down onto his lap. “You’re going to make yourself sick.” 

“But-”

“Enough; your only job is to breathe right now, got it?” 

You sucked in a shuddering breath as you nodded; eyes squeezed shut, forcing a steady stream of tears down your cheeks. You looked pitiful. 

“He didn’t say to hold your breath.” Barty commented gently as he sat on an ottoman in front of Evan’s chair and tried to hand each of you a bottle of water - Evan took both. But the breath that escaped your lips was forceful and left you panting for more. “Oi! Not like that, hey. Deeper breaths, Tres.”

“Y/N. Relax, doll. Relax. You’re fine.” Evan chided; his hand resting on your lower back and his thumb drawing circles at the space between the top of your jeans and the bottom of your shirt gave way to skin.

The flat fell quiet save for the sound of your breathing - at first shuddering, then practised and intentional, and finally settling into a more natural cadence - as Evan drew lines up and down your back with one hand and drew circles with his thumb on your knee with the other, and Barty fiddled distractedly with your fingers. 

“I’m sorry.” You whimpered eventually, and both Evan and Barty let out sighs of relief. 

“That was fucking wild, Treasure. Absolutely deranged.” Barty scolded playfully, pulling your fingers to his lips for a kiss.

“Scared the shit out of me, poppet. I thought someone was dying.” 

“I didn’t mean to worry you…” you offered shyly, shoulders curling in on yourself as if you sort of wanted to disappear. Evan pulled you roughly into his chest and stamped a kiss to your forehead. 

“I’m always worried about you, weird little freak.”

“I’m gonna need like, five more blunts after that. Do I have grey hairs? I feel like I have grey hair now. You’re ageing me, Treasure. You’re sending me to an early grave.” Though you clearly accepted Barty’s teasing for what it was when you returned his kiss fervently. 

“No more blunts.” Evan called as Barty moved to put on a record. “Next time she comes in like a bat out of hell, I would like to have our wits about us. Hm? Give us a fighting chance.” 

“So we’re rawdogging our way through life from now on? Alright, Ev; but if I start having meltdowns like our perfect little freak over there, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself!” 

“....Maybe one blunt a day?” Evan asked you when Barty disappeared around the corner; murmuring the question into the slightly damp hairs at your temple.

“Maybe so.” You agreed with a tired chuckle turned sigh. He couldn’t blame you; if he was tired after all of that, you must be exhausted.

[moonstruckme]

I’ve been binge reading your emt polymarauders. And I gotta tell you ! It’s like sipping a nice lemonade on a summer day. Oh my…

I’m a medical student so I loooooove this prompt so much. I couldn’t sleep tonight because biochemistry has been rotting my brain. Ugh

Anyways,

I had an idea, could you maybe make a reader who’s in her first year of med school and she’s so stressed. The boys try to ease her a little but she doesn’t listen and itch closer to burnout. Until she starts to feel unwell and comes out of her study to drink water. But before she can react she passes out and the boys rush to help.

(Totally not happened to me once in front of almost 30 3rd years. Nooooo.)

Hope you like the idea ❤️

Thanks babe, I'm glad you enjoy them! And thank you for requesting <3

cw: academic stress, fainting

emt!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words

“What nerve supplies the posterior arm and forearm?” Remus asks you. 

The words are beginning to sound like gibberish. “The, um…the radial nerve.” 

“Well done.” Remus sets your flash card atop a stack. There are three of them, ones you know well, ones you’re still shaky on, and ones you’ve not got a clue about. This card goes in the first stack. It’s small enough that every addition feels like a victory. 

Your boyfriends have been kind enough to bring you lunch at the library. It was quickly revealed as a plot to try and coax you into taking a break, but when that clearly wasn’t working they decided to stay awhile and keep you company. You have a reading room all to yourself today, so James has made himself comfortable on the couch and Sirius has laid his head down in his lap, content to have his hair played with while James watches you and Remus study.

“And which carpals communicate with the radius?” Remus asks. 

“Um…”

“Think carefully,” Sirius says in his TV host voice. “This one’s for full points.” 

You blink. You feel suddenly odd. Off-kilter. “There’s two,” you say slowly. “Lunate and…um…” 

“Can we do hints?” James asks. 

You’d rather not, but you feel like you need it. “Sure.” 

“Alright.” Remus glances down at your card. “It starts with an s.” 

“I know it.” You squeeze your eyes shut. “I had this one yesterday. It’s like sca…sca something. Sorry, I feel like I can’t concentrate.” 

“Do you want me to tell you?” Remus asks gently. 

You sigh. “Yeah, okay.” 

“It’s lunate and scaphoid.” 

You groan, pushing your fingers into your forehead. “I knew that.” 

“It’s alright.” Remus sets the card in the middle stack. He’s watching you carefully. “Do you think it’s time for a break?” 

“Yeah.” You take a deep breath. “I feel weird, I think…” You pick up your water bottle, but it’s light, empty. “I’m going to go get some water.” 

Remus’ eyes are sympathetic. “Good idea, dove.” 

The feeling worsens when you stand, like the change in altitude is making you light-headed. You take two steps. The first wobbles, the second sinks. 

You don’t remember passing out. There’s no darkening of your vision or panicky realization, just one second your knee is bending unbidden and the next the trampled fibers of the library carpet are smushed against your face. 

“Fuck, sweetheart.” It takes you a second to recognize the feel of hands under your head and ribcage, but that’s James’ voice. The knees of Remus’ trousers are in front of your face. “What’d you do that for?” 

“I didn’t mean to,” you mumble. 

“Let’s get you on your back,” says Remus. 

He and James work together to rotate you gently, and then you have a better view of the room. Remus and James kneeling above you, Sirius standing behind them with a look of wide-eyed horror. It appears each of your boyfriends has jumped up in a fright. 

“Do you feel warm?” Remus brushes some hair away from your face while James picks up your wrist to get your pulse and Sirius launches into action, kneeling by your feet. 

“Not really…” You startle as your legs pick up off the floor. “Sirius, my skirt!”

“It’s just us here, doll,” Sirius reminds you. “I promise to protect your modesty if anyone comes in, whatever the cost.” 

You frown at what he could mean by that, but Remus thumbs over your cheek placatingly. “Is there anywhere around here that might have sports drinks?” 

“Um, there’s a vending machine downstairs.” 

“Perfect. I’ll be back shortly.” He gives your cheek a quick hold before leaving. 

James kisses your palm once he’s done with your pulse, and then his fingers find the collar of your shirt, popping open the first two buttons with practiced ease. 

Your hand flies up to prevent him going further. “Why does everyone keep trying to undress me?” 

James laughs, and Sirius replies smoothly, “Why, is this not a good time for you?” 

“Take it easy, lovie.” James takes your hand, holding it in his own. “We’re just making sure all the blood that wants to go to your brain can get there.” 

“Oh.” You knew that. Or you should’ve, if your brain was working properly.

“If it’s somewhat risque in practice, I certainly don’t mind as much with you as I do with the old blokes we sometimes get.” Sirius winks at you. 

You offer up a weak smile in return, and he pouts. 

“How’re you feeling, sweetness?” 

“I’m alright.” You take a breath. “Can I sit up now?”

“Let’s give it a bit.” James rubs your shoulder. “How do you really feel?” 

“Just…weird. Shaky. But not too bad.” 

“That’s good,” he says, though he looks like he doesn’t quite believe you. 

“I think I’ll be fine once I get something to drink.” 

“Mm, I think there’s probably a bit more to it than that,” Remus says as he comes back in. He crouches beside you, twisting the top off a bottle of orange juice. “That is a very well-stocked vending machine. Do you feel ready to sit up, dove?” 

“I have been,” you say. “They won’t let me.” 

“Such ingratitude,” Sirius teases as he sets your feet back down. “We were only waiting for your juice.” 

James helps you up with a hand on your back, and it takes a second of wordless wrestling with Remus to get him to let you bring the bottle to your own lips. 

“You could be dehydrated,” he says as you drink, “or you could just be exhausted, or both. And you can faint from too much stress too, you know.” 

“I know,” you grumble, wiping your mouth. 

Remus takes your face in his hand, forcing you to look at him. You find your indignance shrinking under his steady gaze. “You hurt yourself when you push yourself this hard, sweet girl.” 

“I know,” you say, softer now. “I thought I could handle it.” 

“You need to take more breaks.” 

You nod slightly. 

“And work on putting less pressure on yourself.” 

“Alright, Rem, lay off her.” Sirius rubs your knee. It breaks you from Remus’ trance, and your dark-haired boyfriend flashes you a smile when you look his way. “She’s got enough going through her head without having to remember all you want her to do. Let’s go home, yeah?” 

James insists on supporting you while you walk out of the library. Sirius and Remus debate what film you should put on once you get back to your flat. 

“Shouldn’t I get to choose?” you ask. 

“Well, look who’s feeling up to asking questions.” Sirius gives your cheek a condescending little pat. “Unfortunately, I don’t think you’re really ready to be picking out films, my love. Your decision making is probably still impacted from that fainting spell.” 

“Really.” You narrow your eyes at him. “I’ve never heard of that side effect.” 

“Well, you’re only a first year, doll. There’s lots you don’t know.”

[ponyosfrogg]

INBETWEEN (PT 3)

Summary: You wake up, completely under the effect of your dream about comic characters, just to find out a new character has been added to DCU? Or has she always been there?

Pairing: Tim Drake x Reader

Author's Note: Gosh, sorry for taking some time. This chapter was a pain in the ass, all i wanted was to write about sweet moments but god 😶‍🌫️ sorry about the typos, I'll fix them as soon as i can i promise, hope you like it my loves! thank you so much for the support! 💗

Warning: Some of the themes and contents written in this fic might be upsetting for some of the readers, read at your own risk. Some parts have strong language.

As you woke up with a throbbing pain in your head, you couldn't help but wonder if this would be a issue every time you tried to wake up normally. Frustrated, you cautiously opened your eyes, preparing for the brightness. The light made everything appear blurry, so you tried shading your eyes with your hands, but it didn't help much. Suddenly, a silhouette rushed towards you.

"You got me so worried! I can't believe you didn't took your medicine's today! I'm so angry at you" A slap out of worry hit your arm and made you more awake and more aware of your surroundings. You were in your house, with your best friend beside your bed. She must've taken you to your bed since the last thing you can recall was washing some dishes. The slippery and weird feeling in your hand was just proof. "And so glad that you're okay." Amber hugged your laying body with compassionate behavior.

You reposition yourself on the bed and lay your back on the bedstand now facing your best friend who was sitting next to you on your bed. You were in your room. Your real room.

"Are you okay? You're very quiet." With her voice you tried to collect your thoughts in one place. So you had a dream about comic characters? God, you must've been going through some shit because you rarely even dream. Maybe you were in need to feel some family support? Or you just read a lot of them last night.

"Yeah, I'm okay no worries. I just had the weirdest dream ever. I'm sorry about worrying you I'll be more careful about my medicine." but you were so sure that you took all of them today. Why would your heart react in such a way. You found yourself questioning yourself once again, falling into a familiar pattern of self-doubt and second-guessing.

"Oh I can't wait to hear about it but first i have to tell you something." She must've done something she thought was necessary but not necessarily the best idea. "I called Nate." Yes, just as you guessed. Amber must've seen the shift in your reaction and started to get panicky. "Don't blame me! I got so worried and waited for one hour but you didn't wake up so i had to call him, i didn't know what to do. he said he's on his way to come here now. Could be here any moment now." She got up from the bed and started to walk around the room in a panicking way.

But you weren't focusing on her anymore, just hearing Nate's name made your heart flutter a little bit. He was your ex. You had been inseparable from your childhood and at some point it turned into a beautiful relationship. Nate was an ambitious student who wanted to have nothing more than a wife and a job. You on the other hand, you like the possibilities life could offer you. You never had something on your mind you were just going around wherever life takes you. Spontaneous trips to places you'd like to visit, working freelance and getting paid whenever you're in need of some money, reading books and comics whenever you're free. You were a kind of woman who would post something dumb on an afternoon during weekdays which would make all of your working friends question your sanity. So it's safe to say that you guys were completely opposites.

And whoever said opposites attract, they were wrong as fuck. You needed someone to think like you. It was hard to maintain the relationship when both of your needs were completely opposite, beside your characters. You guys broke up two months ago or something like that. you weren't keeping the count.

Although it was hard to not to think about him, you always thought you made the right decision about him. You wouldn't want to keep him from living his life, and you wouldn't want him to keep you from living your life either. It was the right decision. But why were you feeling nauseous right now?

"It's okay, we were going to see each other at some point anyway." You tried to smile in a relaxing way and you must have been successful since she gave you another big hug. She was one of the kindest soul you had a chance to meet on this earth. She had beautiful ginger curly hair with a lot of freckles on her face. She had this beautiful smile that made your day better whenever you saw her. She was just the most adorable person you could ever hope for and you were glad she was your friend, your best friend to be exact.

"Okay, I'll leave you alone and give you some privacy for you to change your clothes." You rolled your eyes at her words. Yeah, you took back whatever you said about her, she was devious. "I'm not going to all doll-up for Nate, Amber." She giggled at the annoyance at your voice while she was leaving the room.

You looked around your room. How could something feel so familiar yet so strange. You felt an unexplainable feeling on your chest. It wasn't about your heart, something was different. Maybe the dream affected you more than you could admit.

As you gazed around, your attention was suddenly drawn to the batfamily poster hanging on the wall behind your desk. It was an old favorite, something you had put up about three years ago. It included all of the batfamily members. Yet, this time, there was something different about it, or rather, someone.

You rushed to get a closer look, your eyes widening in surprise. Among the familiar faces of Bruce, Jason, Dick, and Damian, there was a new addition—a girl standing beside Damian. Who was she? And why the fuck she looked like you.

"Amber?" You yelled from your room, hoping her to hear. Her voice echoed back a response, and you called out again, "What did you do to my poster?"

You heard her quick footsteps and then Amber entered your room, her expression showing annoyance at being summoned. She glanced at the poster you were holding in your hand. "It looks perfectly normal to me. I didn't touch it."

You rolled your eyes, feeling annoyed more and a bit frustrated. "I mean, who's the new character next to Damian?"

Amber looked at you as if you had said the most absurd thing you could ever say. "Are you serious right now? Is this supposed to be some kind of joke? Listen, i need to go out. I know that you're kind of excited and anxious to meet Nate and you don't want to be alone but i have to go." You turned around and saw she already dressed up. You were speechless.

"Wait, what? Are you going out? Are you going to leave me alone with Nate and excuse me but what the fuck is happening right now! Who is this girl."

She didn't say anything and left the room, leaving you without any further explanation.

You reached over your laptop and opened it. Yes, something weird was going on and you were determined to find it and what would be a better way than google. You pull your soft, white chair and sit on it while you are waiting for your laptop to be open. When it got open, you typed the batfamily and searched for it.

After like three minutes, you saw the name Viperia, even though you read a lot of comics and familiar with almost every character at that point you've never heard of her so you typed 'Viperia' on a different tab. To your surprise, there were numerous posts and messages about this character. She appeared at the same time as Damian in comics. She was snarky, cocky and definitely a pain in the ass but somehow she literally had her own fan-base. You saw a lot of websites made in the honor of her, a lot of fanarts and literally thousands of fan fiction. But how come you've never heard about her and why did she literally look like you.

"Yeah, this must be a fucking dream."

When you heard a knock from the door, you remembered you were expecting Nate. Fuck, you already have forgotten about him coming. You pulled yourself together and promised to check this after you're done with Nate. Right now you have to focus on him.

You must have been so lost on your research, you didn't realize Amber already left the house. You opened the door and you saw Nate's bright face.

Seeing him make a lot of emotions rushing to you. There was longing in your heart, you were longing for his presence. There was some kind of disappointment. You were disappointed in him, he could've made this thing go further but he didn't. He chose to give up on you and you chose to give up on your relationship.

When you break up with someone, seeing them changing does have an effect on you. You expect them to be the same but you don't realize people tend to change every now and then, especially after going through a painful break-up. You felt sad but you felt you didn't have any right to be sad, after you were the who cut the cords of that relationship. You chose your path to leave him. It was painful for you but you knew that if you didn't, it would be more painful in the future. But somehow right that moment you were looking at a completely different guy. He had a bright smile on his face just like he always does but somehow it was different, it was full of confidence. His eyes were shining like two little stars. He was radiating some kind of sunshine energy that you became addicted once. And seeing him make all of these things rush through your mind.

He had a white shirt on him, which made him look very... professional? But in a pretty way. His partly long hair was slicked back nicely. You can see his newly grow beard that he probably is going to shave tomorrow morning. Even though he looked almost the same as two months ago you realized he changed, he's much better now. He's better off without you or maybe you were just that lonely who was considering going back to her ex just because you hated being alone or a narcissist who thinks everyone is in love with her.

"Hello." His stern voice made you startled since you were, once again, wandering on your mind. "Hello, how rude I am. Come in." you stepped backwards for him to enter the house. He was looking around when you closed the wooden door and turned at him.

"You guys made some changes on this apartment huh? It looks prettier." You smile at the compliment. Always too nice.

"Yes, it was time to get rid of some old stuff." Then you realized this was not an appropriate sentence to say since it's only been two months after the break up.

You cleaned your throat and talked again: "Take a seat I'll prepare us some coffee." When you were rushing to the kitchen, you heard his footsteps right behind you. "You never really learn do you? I'm literally here for your heart and you are offering me coffee? Way to go." You laughed at his point.

It was nice to be around him. He had such a charm that could make you feel comfortable all the time. There wasn't any awkward silence around him. It was always joyful, happy and full of smiles. He was like a home for you once. Now he was just a stranger you perfectly know.

"Well, old habits die hard." At that point you literally wanted to punch yourself on your face. There were millions of words in English and somehow you always chose the one that made you sound like a heartless person.

When you were preparing the coffee he sat on a chair beside the window. It was raining again. There was no lightning or storm but just plain rain. It was the fourth day today and the weird thing is, it was middle of the fucking summer, July to be exact.

"So, your heart?" When you put on his mug, (which was adorable by the way. It was dark red with little white hearts on it.) on the little coffee table in front of him. You sat right in front of him. "Yes, I think Amber is overreacting. I'm perfectly fine." He looked at you with his brown eyes, completely scanning your body. It's like, he was trying to find evidence of you being okay. But in reality he was actually thinking about how much he missed you. He missed being around you, your presence, your voice, your scent and everything about you. He missed hearing your stupid theories about comics, he missed talking about ordinary stuff under the stars on a hill that he would take you every saturday, he missed you making him laugh so hard that he would cry, he missed you. Simply you, being you.

"Still, i think you should come to the hospital and let me examine you over there since I didn't bring a lot of stuff." You nod, perfectly aware of the fact that you simply wouldn't do something like that. You knew something was different. You experienced a lot of seizures like that and it was different and since you already took your medicine, you wouldn't bother to go again. If there's something, that would mean more medicine. But you were sure that was not the case.

Your mind went to Damian's sister again. How could this be possible. She looked exactly like you and you were wondering how she can appear on your poster. It was there for three years now and you would've noticed at some point right? Viperia... Even the name sounds so made up, you still were trying to convince yourself that you actually imagined that person. But then again, Amber said she's been there for some time. Maybe she also hallucinated.

You tried to pull your attention back on the guy sitting in front of you. Viperia was the future you problem, right now you had Nate in front of you.

"You look tired." When he stated the obvious fact you simply smiled. "Yes, it's been a long day." More like two days in one. "And I'm kind of anxious maybe that's why."

He directly looked into your eyes with such a compassionate look. If he could make your pain go away, he would in a heartbeat. It was so weird to part your ways even though you love that person. But growing up meant realizing it's important have someone who has the same mindset as you and about that, you guys were not the best. 'Love can start something but it wouldn't make something keep going.' Your mother used to say this sentence a lot whenever she and your dad argued.

He reached over your hand that was on uour your lap. When he touched you, you could feel the vibrations going around your body. It was dumb to think that you were over him but when it's you, you can never be sure and you knew that all to well.

"You know that I'm here right? It doesn't matter what time is it, if you call, I'll come." He said almost whispering. His hand traces its way through your face. Cupping one of your cheeks. No, that wasn't good. You could feel that every cell of yours longing for him but that wasn't a good idea.

"I think you should go."

He looked at you for five seconds with a disappointed look on his face. He could tell that you were uncomfortable and he didn't want to keep doing whatever he was doing. Then he take his hand off your face and stood up. "Yes, I think I should go. Thank you for the coffee. I think tomorrow morning you should visit the hospital just in case." You nodded and said 'thank you' while he was taking his stuff and going to door.

"Goodnight." He was the one who smiled as an answer this time.

As soon as you closed the door, you released the breath you didn't even you were holding until that point.

You went into your room after sitting back of the door for some time, collecting your thoughts about Nate. You needed something to take your mind off from Nate and you decided to keep researching about Viperia.

Two hours later, your mind was almost going to explode from all the information you found about her.

She was the sixth child of Batman, not a sister but twin of Damian. Raised by Bruce but also Talia too. Her name was the same as yours but she was using Viperia as an alias, which was a venomous snake. She was skilled at martial arts and she was a great assassin, maybe even better than Damian. She was quite popular with her rage and snarky comments just like Damian. She was getting along with almost every family member except Tim and you didn't find anything relating to that topic. On some fandom base sites, there were a lot of theories about them dating secretly 'why else they wouldn't even once mention about her relationship with Tim' they wrote. 'Tim never even refers to her as his sister.' You searched so deep that you even had came across a smut writing between her and Alfred which made you a little bit of uncomfortable and also scared.

You started to think how could you miss this character or did she literally appear out to nowhere in three hours?

The creator was releasing new chapters on that comic series in every two weeks. 'Batman's Daughter' was the title. It was covering the whole background starting from the birth which was crazy but useful also, since you learned that Talia literally put her in Lazarus Pit whenever she had some kind of blade cuts on the age of fucking three. No wonder that girl was total nuts but of course fun to read.

When you were doing your research your laptop's notification sound made you startled. Maybe you didn't have any resemblance with her since she could literally murder without even flinching and you were, well, getting startled from a notification sound.

It was an e-mail.

You took your laptop and stood up from the chair you've been sitting for some time now. Since you also started to get sleepy it was a good idea to going to your bed and read your mail over there.

You sat on your soft green colored sheets and opened your mail, you didn't know the person who sent you the mail. There was literally no name or anything. Just an attachment and a word on the subject part which was 'read :)'

You clicked on the attachment, even though you knew you shouldn't since it was a mail from someone unknown and you might even download a fucking virus on your laptop but however something inside of you was couraging you to open it.

It was a comic on a pdf format but it was more like a work in progress. Some parts were still empty.

The Doom of Batfamily?

That was enough for your curiosity to take over, so you started reading.

It was starting with Bruce talking with his family about some unusual murders on the city. He was suspecting someone from the League of Assassins since the murder weapon was a sword. But turns out it was Viperia who is getting more and more insane everyday because of the Lazarus pit. But it didn't even stop there, she was getting involved with some villains to trap her family one by one and killing them all, she was thinking they were on her way.

You were horrified. It was very graphical and the sketches literally showed everything explicitly. In the end, she was literally standing on all of their dead bodies, laughing histerically.

You close the laptop immediately and closed your eyes, trying once again to collect your thoughts. Everything seemed so messy right now and you didn't know what to do. Why Viperia appeared out of nowhere, Who was the sender of the mail, why is she killing all of her family, what the fuck is going on.

"Fuck, no."

Without resisting more, you give yourself in the sweet arms of sleep. You could try to solve that problem tomorrow, you needed some sleep now.

After like two minutes of sleeping you opened your eyes involuntarily since, well, you only closed them for two minutes.

"It took you long enough."

With this voice, you got scared again.

"I didn't know you like sleeping this much it's literally noon time now, wake up so we can go to my favorite cafe to have some breakfast and then feed the ducks."

You watched him in horror.

"Hey, haven't you missed your beloved brother?"

"Damian?"

[letsgoletsgetit08]

ink ch.5

summary: Park Seonghwa has been given an ultimatum by his parents: a year to marry a woman of their choosing with the end goal of producing an heir to the family fortune since queer party boy Seonghwa can't be trusted with it. His solution? Get absolutely blasted in tattoos to scare off his possible suitors and their families. But why did his tattoo artist have to be so pretty and kind? It's enough to make him question some things. Possibly, everything.

pairing: park seonghwa x hwang hyunjin

warning: mdni, barebacking, oral sex, public sex

total word count: 30,328 | chapter word count: 3,778

ao3 link: chapter 5

V: head in the clouds

This was probably a mistake. Seeing Hyunjin interact with people at the soup kitchen was doing something to Seonghwa. 

It was so healing to see someone interact as an equal with people who those in Seonghwa's tax bracket would treat as intrinsically other. 

The day went by so fast, no one recognized Seonghwa and therefore no one was weird about him being there. Hyunjin introduced him to some of the frequent flyers he was friendly with as “Hwa” and no one questioned it, just treated him like Hyunjin’s friend. 

It was the best day he had had in a long time. 

He was actually tired in a really fulfilling way, which wasn't a familiar feeling.

When they finished cleaning up, Hyunjin introduced him to the director of the non-profit, his good friend, Felix. Felix not only looked like an angel, but apparently was one as well. Seonghwa could see the genuine passion he had for helping people just based on the look in his eyes when he was talking about his organization. It had started as a charity to help clothe underprivileged children during the winter months and had grown to a full-scale operation. They held the soup kitchen daily, they had renovated a school bus that went around the city to provide haircuts, hand out food, water, and pamphlets explaining their other services, they had a legal team, they had people who mended clothing, a team in charge of their donation closet… it was so much. So needed. 

“And we're pretty much always hiring as we expand!” Felix concluded in his deep voice that pleasantly contradicted his delicate appearance, with a bright smile on his face, “My husband, Changbin, is head of HR, so he's in charge of all that. But I can always put in a good word.” 

Oh! The Changbin from his first tattoo appointment. Hyunjin’s gym buddy. It all made sense. Seonghwa didn't know why he relaxed at the mention of Felix having a husband, but the man was so pretty and so comfortable with Hyunjin that he had been starting to feel the panicky palpitations of jealousy the more he watched them interact, and was glad for those feelings to reside. He also didn't really know why Felix was telling him about job openings, but he made a mental note of it anyway. 

Hyunjin’s shoulder kept brushing his own as they walked out of the building, (it was only a few blocks away from Hyunjin’s shop and apartment, which is where Seonghwa had parked so they could walk together) every touch stirring the butterflies in Seonghwa's stomach. 

“What's the dress code for Twink Dinner?” Hyunjin asked. 

Seonghwa laughed, “Truthfully, whatever is your sluttiest club outfit.”

“Um,” Hyunjin blushed, “I don't really go clubbing.”

“Oh! Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed. Why don't you send me pics of some options? And I'll help you out.” He offered. 

“Yeah, okay, sounds good.” Hyunjin smiled a little bashfully. God, he was so cute. It really was unfair. 

“I'd help you out in person, but unfortunately I'm on my way to meet Eleanor Vanderwalt and her, I'm assuming, atrocious family after this.” He sighed, truly dreading it. 

Hyunjin laughed at him, “Jesus, that name is a mouthful, huh? Would you guys hyphenate? Park-Vanderwalt or Vanderwalt-Park?” 

Seonghwa shoved his arm, “Hush. I will not be marrying this woman. Mostly for my sake, but also for hers. I truly wouldn't wish marrying into my family on my worst enemy.”

“Who is your worst enemy?” 

“You, obviously, Hyunne. Who else?”

Hyunjin’s head tipped back in laughter, a very adorable habit of his, “Oh, right! How could I possibly forget! Enemies to lovers though, right?” He poked Seonghwa in the cheek. 

Seonghwa playfully grabbed the hand that was poking his cheek, stopping as they arrived at Hyunjin’s apartment, pulling him in close, “Yeah, something like that.” His eyes looked from one of Hyunjin’s, down to his lips, up to the other eye, his thumb rubbing over the back of the other’s hand. 

“Mmh, something like that.” Hyunjin echoed, leaning in to plant a sweet kiss on Seonghwa’s eagerly awaiting lips. He returned the kiss, dreading the fact that he had to cut it short, wanting nothing more than to follow Hyunjin upstairs and keep kissing him for hours on end. 

He pulled back, “I'll text you the details for tomorrow night, alright?��� 

Hyunjin landed another kiss on his cheek, “Okay!” he was beaming. Fucking cute as ever, “Byeee!” He wiggled his fingers as he turned to his apartment door.

Seonghwa was so fond, completely endeared to the man in front of him, “Bye, Jinnie.” 

He was decidedly not fond of Eleanor Vanderwalt. That was, until she asked him to accompany her outside of the stuffy restaurant his parents had chosen for a cigarette, when her demeanor completely changed. He usually only smoked cigarettes when he was out drinking, but desperate times and all that. 

Eleanor had dark bobbed hair and kind eyes, and she was dressed much more edgy than Seonghwa had expected, or at least edgy for the people their families wanted them to be, no seersucker in sight, at the very least. Small blessings. 

She lit his cigarette for him, “I'm a lesbian. And I go by Nellie, by the way. My parents insist on Eleanor.” She said it like it explained everything. And really, it kind of did. 

“Ohh, got it. And your parents are hoping this fact will…?”

“Mysteriously go away and I'll bear them grandchildren. Yeah.” She finished for him. 

“I'm gay as fuck.” Seonghwa offered in solidarity. 

“Oh, Seonghwa,” she laid a hand on his arm, “I know.” 

He gasped, faking his surprise, “How did you possibly figure it out?!” 

“Dude, you literally got tattoos to get out of some wack ass arranged marriage.” 

“And it was working!” He defended himself. 

“I'm sure it worked on-”

“Sloane Greenburg.” He supplied.

“Right, Sloane Greenburg and her family. Mine honestly don't give a fuck about them. Sorry.”

“Well. Fuck.” He sighed. 

“Look, bro. I can make up whatever excuse we can think of, get us out of it for the time being. We can keep letting our parents try to set us up with rich douchebags. Or.”

“Or?”

“Or we can say fuck it. Personally, I am too used to this lifestyle to give up the money, as are you, I assume, otherwise why humor them. We can do IVF, produce an heir. Never have to touch. Date whomever we want in secret. I'm really tired of going on these weird arranged dates. This is year two of them for me… They're determined. And if your parents are anything like mine, they won't give up.”

“So… like a lavender marriage?” He thought he understood. 

“Exactly. Oldest trick in the book.”

“I'm not really sure that's a decision I can make right now.” 

Nellie put her cigarette out on the brick wall they were leaning against, “Well, think about it. I can keep my parents in a holding pattern for a little while.” She handed him her phone, “Here, give me your number.” 

Seonghwa couldn’t help but wonder on his Uber ride home, if Hyunjin would ever go for something like that. They weren't even dating officially yet but for the first time in a while, he felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. 

When he arrived back at his penthouse, as if on cue, he received five messages back to back from Hyunjin. Pictures of his outfit ideas for tomorrow night. One in particular was beyond what Seonghwa imagined he would have in his closet, black leather pants and a cropped fine mesh mock-neck shirt. 

He had to know how incredibly hot he was. 

Seonghwa took it upon himself to inform him, slightly tipsy still from drinks at dinner. He called rather than sending a text. 

Hyunjin answered on the third ring, “Hello?”

“Jesus Christ, Hwang Hyunjin. You’re ethereal. Seriously. Has anyone ever told you that?”

Hyunjin giggled, “Park Seonghwa! Stop it!” 

“No way,” he put his phone on speaker as he took his clothes off, down to just boxers, eager to climb into bed after the very informative night that had left him weary from bearing the weight of having a serious and impending decision to make, “I mean every word and I need you to know it.” 

“Well,” Hyunjin breathed into the phone, “Thank you.”

“Any time, lovely.” Seonghwa couldn’t help but smile. 

“I'm sending you one more option to look at. Let me know when you get it!” 

“Oh? Okay, will do.” He stared at their message thread eagerly but he was not prepared for the incoming picture in the slightest. 

Hyunjin stood in front of a fogged up bathroom mirror, condensation barely blurring out what was clearly his hard cock held in his hand. Fog wiped away just over the reflection from his lips down to the very end of his happy trail. It was very artfully done for a nude, he had to admit. It was so so hot. His dick agreed with him. 

“Oh, jagi. Look at you.” He was almost breathless. 

“I'd rather look at you,” Hyunjin shot back, voice syrupy sweet. 

“Mmh, magic word?” Seonghwa taunted him for no good reason other than the fact that he could. 

“Please?” Hyunjin simpered, voice slightly strained, and Seonghwa could hear the faint noise of movement on his end of the call. 

“Let me see…” he flipped through his locked folder of nudes on his phone, finding one of his very favorites: soft lighting, kneeling in front of his bedroom mirror, turned just so at the waist, where so you could see his ass but couldn’t fully see his dick, lips parted. He hit send without hesitation, reaching over to his bedside table to retrieve lube and his headphones so he could be hands-free. 

He waited, hand cupping his already intrigued and half hardened dick through his boxers. 

“God fucking damn. Seonghwa.” He whimpered. 

“Are you touching yourself, baby?” Seonghwa whispered, already knowing the answer. 

Hyunjin let out a soft moan, “Yes.”

“Good boy.” 

He heard something vaguely wet sounding on the other line. 

“I've been thinking about you.”

“Oh yeah?” Seonghwa freed his cock, now fully filled out, starting to stroke it slowly. 

“Yeah. Every time I've gotten off since we met, Hwa.”

“Fuck, Hyunjin.” He applied lube, finally. He wasn't going to last long anyways, not at this rate. 

“I've got my biggest dildo inside of me right now,” Hyunjin nearly choked on a moan, “But now that I've seen you,” a shaky breath, “Had you in my mouth… I know nothing will fill me up like your cock would.”

“God, I want that so bad. I've been thinking about you, too.” His pace quickened. 

“Want you to split me in half, Seonghwa.”

“Tell me more.”

“Wanna ride your dick. Want you to cum inside. Wanna feel you leak out of me. Don't wanna walk for days.”

“I'm so close, Hyunne.”

“Me, too. Fuck.” He was panting now. 

“Go ahead, jagi. Be good and cum for me.” 

“Seonghwa!” He called out some approximation of his name. It was all Seonghwa needed to finish as well, making sure to not hold back the noises he was making, so Hyunjin would know it was good for him, too. 

“Excellent job, darling.” He cooed over the line. 

“Mmh, I love when you call me nicknames. You have no idea what it does to my brain.” Hyunjin's fucked out voice was so sexy. 

“Duly noted, my sexy little minx.” Seonghwa couldn’t help but smile as he caught his breath. 

Hyunjin laughed lazily, “Okay, I like most of the nicknames. And thank you. For indulging me. That was… Whew.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” he chuckled, “No need to thank me, sweetheart. I'll see you tomorrow night. I'll pick you up at your place at 10?” 

“Sounds perfect to me.” He could picture Hyunjin’s rosy cheeks and how he imagined he was biting his lip at this exchange. 

“Goodnight, Jin.” 

“Goodnight, Hwa.” 

And that it was. A fucking great night. 

The Pink Pony Club used to be a seedy low lit gay bar uptown called The Dive, (somewhere in between Hyunjin’s apartment and his, but a little closer to his own) and was now a fully pink cowboy themed gay bar/karaoke bar/best bathroom in the area to snort coke off the countertops (a review Seonghwa had left personally, prominently featured on their website, with the words “snort coke” half-heartedly crossed out, for legal reasons or something). He would never admit to Wooyoung how much he loved it, but it was probably pretty obvious, regardless. 

He would, however, admit that walking in with Hyunjin on his arm had him on cloud nine. Walking on sunshine. Practically skipping. Heart soaring, full of pride. He looked even better in the outfit they had decided on last night in person than he had in the photo over text, with silver jewelry and a little makeup (smudged eyeliner, lip tint, blush) to pull it all together. Seonghwa had a fleeting thought that he wouldn't mind having to wash his sheets of that makeup if he was lucky enough to fuck Hyunjin senseless into them. 

They were the last to arrive, having taken time to take a hit or two from Hyunjin’s bowl before heading out. Pregaming. He was sure their red eyes and mindless giggling would give it away, but it wasn't like his friends would care.

They picked their way back to their usual booth in the back corner, Hyunjin gripping onto his arm for dear life so as to not get separated. 

Jeongin was the first person to spot them, waving animatedly, “Hyunjin! Seonghwa!” And he felt himself glow as the rest of the table turned to greet them. To his surprise, Hongjoong and Jongho had come alone. Wooyoung was squealing, “Oh my god! Hwa! Who is this poor sucker you've obviously paid to hang off your arm?”

“Ha ha,” he laughed sarcastically, “This is Hyunjin. Hyunjin, that's the head twink in charge, Wooyoung. His boyfriend San-” 

San stood up excitedly to shake Hyunjin’s hand. Hongjoong, Jongho, and Yunho followed suit, introducing themselves, ending with Mingi who immediately pulled him into a bear hug, whispering something Seonghwa couldn’t quite catch in his ear that made Hyunjin burst into laughter. 

They sat down and tequila shots were delivered, all of them taking the shots with varying degrees of ease. 

“A toast!” Jeongin raised his cocktail, “Here's to hell! May our stay there be as much fun as the way there!” 

It was cheesy as fuck, but the way he delivered it so genuinely, with a cheeky grin on his face, it was palatable. He could see what Yeosang liked about him. So far, all of Hyunjin’s friends were very likeable. He could only hope that by the end of the night, Hyunjin would feel the same way about his friends. 

They got caught up on each other's lives, only briefly lingering on Seonghwa’s situation, thankfully. He was pretty vague about it, just said he'd met a couple of women and their families so far and had avoided getting betrothed to one thus far. It wasn't a lie, just not really the full story. He felt his heart bloom with pride as they complimented his tattoos, praised Hyunjin for his work. Hyunjin was also glowing with the praise, Seonghwa reached over and placed a hand on his thigh, giving it a small squeeze and leaning briefly into his shoulder, which the other returned, making quick, knowing eye contact out of the corners of their eyes. 

Soon, they had broken up into smaller groups, carrying on several conversations at once. Hyunjin talking animatedly with Jongho, himself engaging in a debate with Yunho and Mingi, when suddenly Wooyoung announced, “WE’RE GOING TO DANCE NOW!” 

He looked over to Hyunjin, questioning. He knew Jongho wouldn't join them on the dance floor yet. 

“Jongho won't be hitting the dance floor until he's a few drinks deeper.” Seonghwa offered. 

“I think I'll hang back for now, too.” Hyunjin looked a little nervous, “But you go! Don't let me hold you back, Party Boy Park.” 

Seonghwa rolled his eyes at the stupid nickname the media had crowned him with years ago, “Are you sure? I don't mind staying.”

Hyunjin nodded reassuringly, “Go! I'm not offended, really. I'll join you when I'm ready.” 

“Okay then,” He smiled, turning to Hongjoong, “You coming?” 

Hongjoong shrugged, “Why the hell not!” 

He and Hongjoong had a long history of dancing with each other to attract the attention of others and they fell back into it easily, Seonghwa turning Hongjoong around so he was pressed up against his chest, the other’s hands around his neck as his own wrapped around his waist, moving languidly in time with the music. It felt pretty good to stretch those old muscles, he couldn't lie. 

Time passed quickly, he and Hongjoong having too much fun dancing together to be too cognizant of their surroundings. But soon enough, he caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of his eye that made his stomach turn. 

Hyunjin was dancing in a different group, grinding on a guy that Seonghwa had briefly dated (casually, of course) a few years ago. He didn't see Jongho anywhere and assumed he was probably off doing karaoke with Mingi and Yunho. 

Hongjoong seemed to follow his gaze and they both said “Chris?” simultaneously, in completely different tones of voices. They looked at each other, confused. 

“That's the guy I've been seeing!” Hongjoong had to practically shout over the music. 

“What! He's kinda my ex!” Seonghwa replied, flabbergasted. 

“How the hell would I know that, Hwa? You never tell us about anyone you're dating!” 

“I'm not worried about that, I'm curious why he's dancing with Hyunjin like that!” He couldn’t help but feel jealous, despite the fact that he had been grinding on someone else half of the night. 

“Let's just go over there, don't jump to conclusions!” 

They pushed their way through, against the current of the waves of sweaty bodies. 

“HEY!” Hyunjin was red-cheeked, far more drunk than Seonghwa, “Look guys, it's my Seonghwa!” 

Oh. His. Seonghwa couldn’t deny how good the claim of ownership made him feel, any feelings of jealousy dissipating as quickly as they had come.

Two other men, who had previously been making out, all but fully having sex on the dance floor, broke apart to introduce themselves: Jisung and Minho. 

“Our other friend Seungmin is here too, he and Jongho are in some weird homoerotic pissing match over karaoke.” Hyunjin slurred as he released his grip on Chris and stumbled into Seonghwa's waiting arms, “This is Chan. Channie hyung. Chris. Whatever you wanna call him!” 

He and Chris made eye contact, immediately understanding that their history was a conversation for another time. Hongjoong blushed as Chris waltzed over to put an arm around his waist, introducing him to his friends, “This is the guy I've been seeing! Everyone, meet Hongjoong.” 

For a big city, it was starting to feel like a small town. 

Hyunjin was swaying on the spot despite half of his body weight being on Seonghwa, “Our friends are like all dating, Hwa, isn't that wild? It's so romantic! Don't you think it's romantic?”

Seonghwa was so insurmountably screwed. Besotted. Infatuated. 

“It's very romantic, baby. Let's get you home, yeah?”

He pouted, “I don't wanna go home!” 

Seonghwa kissed his cheek, “Okay then I'll take you to my place.”

He couldn't help but notice the eyes of Hyunjin’s friends on him, felt himself hope they approved of him. 

“Really?!” Hyunjin’s face lit up, “Can we have sex?” He gave Seonghwa his best puppy dog eyes. 

Seonghwa laughed, amused at the simpering mess Hyunjin had turned into under the influence of alcohol, “No, sweetheart, I'm not going to sleep with you like this.” 

Hyunjin stomped his foot and whined, “No fair! Can we make out?!” 

Seonghwa kissed the crown of his head, pulling him closer to his side as he turned them away from their friends, all of them waving bye, Chris grabbing his arm and mouthing “thank you” as they left. He nodded in response. 

“Yes, sure, angel. We can make out.” 

Seonghwa was sober enough to drive but didn't want to risk it, precious cargo and all, so he called an Uber for them. 

Hyunjin was babbling mindlessly the whole way home, and Seonghwa scooped him up into his arms like he was his blushing bride when they exited the Uber, carrying him into the elevator up to his penthouse. He tried to put him down once in the elevator, but the younger whined a mumbled complaint and curled into his chest, grip tightening around his neck. So Seonghwa held him until he deposited him softly onto his bed. 

His bed, which he had never shared with anyone before. 

Seonghwa made Hyunjin drink some water, refilling the glass for in the morning, placing a couple of Midol (the best thing for a hangover, a little trick Seonghwa had learned back in college) by the glass. Then he started to work on removing Hyunjin’s shoes and clothes, leaving him in his boxers, picking up his legs gingerly so he could tuck him into his fluffy duvet. Dashing off to the bathroom to grab some cotton pads he doused with micellar water to gently wipe away Hyunjin’s makeup.

He was about to go shower but turned around, a sudden stroke of genius, and shot off a text to Hyunjin, whose phone he had just plugged in to charge: 

Me

Baby, don't you dare disappear before I wake up. I owe you brunch.

He planned on sleeping on the couch but after showering and brushing his teeth, when he stooped down to kiss Hyunjin’s forehead (he couldn't help himself, he looked so peaceful), the younger woke up enough to glom onto his arm, muttering through sleepy lips, “Mmh cuddle me, baby. Please?” 

And how could Seonghwa refuse? 

He climbed into bed behind the man whom he was quickly realizing he was probably falling in love with, pulled him tight to his chest, stroking his hair, kissing his shoulder, whispering, “Goodnight, darling.” into his ear. 

“Night night.” Hyunjin mumbled contentedly. 

Every heartbeat in his chest as he drifted off to sleep seemed to percuss Hyunjin Hyunjin Hyunjin in a steady rhythm. He knew his heart was incapable of lying to him. And this was an issue for Tomorrow Seonghwa.

Until then, he remained blissful as his consciousness turned to dreams of rose petal lips, swirling ink, fluffy clouds, melodic laughter.

[caltropspress]

RAPS + CRAFTS #34: Snotnoze Saleem

1. Introduce yourself. Past projects? Current projects?

I go by the name Snotnoze Saleem. So far, all projects under this alias have been released on Illuminated Paths, including the mixtape Intifada, the sister EPs Shards I & II, and the most recent EP Samizdat, all self-produced. I don’t want to give too much away as of right now since I prefer to announce music when it is fully complete, but I got a collab tape with an amazing producer coming up, and I’m always working on my own stuff.

2. Where do you write? Do you have a routine time you write? Do you discipline yourself, or just let the words come when they will? Do you typically write on a daily basis?

Any and everywhere. I used to have a routine where I would write on my lunch break at work, and then afterwards after smoking. I don’t particularly like employment, so I always had a source of agitation to pull from, however that routine has recently been shattered due to a layoff. But I’ve been slowly finding a new groove until the next source of daily annoyance gives me more ammo, and even without a job, there’s always something. I discipline myself by sitting down and saying, “I’m going to come up with at least a few bars here,” or, “I will find a pocket in this weird ass beat,” but during that window of discipline I’ll let the words come as they may. I make an effort to jot down interesting thoughts or turn of phrases every day, even as little as just two words that I think sound interesting when put together. I tend to feel panicky if I feel I haven’t written anything for a few days straight, which can happen.

3. What’s your medium—pen and paper, laptop, on your phone? Or do you compose a verse in your head and keep it there until it’s time to record?

It used to be strictly pen and paper because I thought it was more “official,” but as time progressed I found myself thinking in bars all throughout the day, and I found it much more convenient to just pull my phone out and type whatever it is that came to me. I don’t think I’ve ever kept a whole verse strictly in my head; I’d be too afraid of forgetting it.

4. Do you write in bars, or is it more disorganized than that?

Usually disorganized, and then I find a satisfying order and rhythm for recitation. A few times a song will be more focused and will come off as what you could say are logical thoughts, like my one song “A Foreign Army Invaded My Funeral Procession” from Shards II, but that wasn’t even on purpose. It kinda just came out that way.

5. How long into writing a verse or a song do you know it’s not working out the way you had in mind? Do you trash the material forever, or do you keep the discarded material to be reworked later?

Nah, I don’t trash anything - always keep it. I’ve used lines I’ve written years prior, or recycle entire verses on a new beat if I think it fits better. When I’m in that discipline window I mentioned earlier, I’ll just write whatever, doesn’t have to make sense (not like the finished version has to) or be on any type of beat or rhythm or cadence, just get the juices flowing. It’s usually pretty clunky at first, but once I’ve gotten used to the beat then I can make adjustments. If I’m working on a verse and I haven’t reached that breakthrough beyond, say, a week or two, then it may be time to move on to something else, but that doesn’t mean I’ll never go back to it again.

6. Have you engaged with any other type of writing, whether presently or in the past? Fiction? Poetry? Playwriting? If so, how has that mode influenced your songwriting?

I used to write screenplays when I was younger, and little short stories. I don’t know what happened as I aged, but I find it hard to write organized thoughts and sentences like that nowadays - you know, “proper” sentences. I think the biggest influence it has on me now is just the fact that I’m not a stranger to the act of writing my thoughts down since I’ve been doing it for a while in some shape or form. I would like to read more poetry as well.

7. How much editing do you do after initially writing a verse/song? Do you labor over verses, working on them over a long period of time, or do you start and finish a piece in a quick burst?

The production plays a big role in this. If I have a beat that really gets a strong reaction from me, like my blood starts boiling as soon as I hear it, I can knock out a big chunk of a verse quickly, or maybe even a whole verse. Other times, it’s just a matter of reciting it either out loud or in my head over and over and over and over and over again until I’m fully satisfied with every word and pocket.

8. Do you write to a beat, or do you adjust and tweak lyrics to fit a beat?

Always writing to a beat, though I may pull from the random thoughts and feelings I’ve jotted down during my day-to-day. But the beat is usually the biggest factor in helping with writing a verse as opposed to little blurbs. If it’s something crazy, like some clamorous buzzsaw synth with a vocal sample of an elderly woman gasping or something, then the words will match that atmosphere. If it’s something calmer, I will adjust accordingly.

9. What dictates the direction of your lyrics? Are you led by an idea or topic you have in mind beforehand? Is it stream-of-consciousness? Is what you come up with determined by the constraint of the rhymes?

Man, I will pull from anything. My immediate surroundings, maybe a sign I see on the street; or something someone said earlier that I thought was funny or strange; a memory; a feeling I had at a particular moment; a meme or tweet I saw online; the news; a sentence from a book; whatever. Despite the seeming randomness though, I think there are always a handful of topics in my mind that I tend to dwell on or go back to, and it seems like I attempt to compile those disparate sources to fit within those topics even if I didn’t really set out to do that when I started. 

10. Do you like to experiment with different forms and rhyme schemes, or do you keep your bars free and flexible?

Hmm, those seem like the same thing to me. I would say I do both. Lately I’ve been making a conscious effort of trying not to use “obvious” rhymes, so instead of rhyming, for example, “feature” with “creature,” maybe I’ll go with “people” or even “facetious” or something. See, it doesn’t really rhyme, but it kinda does and you can make it work. I think that makes it more interesting. Nothing wrong with “obvious” rhymes though - more of an exercise to keep my mind sharp. 

11. What’s a verse you’re particularly proud of, one where you met the vision for what you desire to do with your lyrics?

I mentioned a collab tape with a producer earlier. I got a song on there that I really think I left the planet on. I wrote it when I was bedridden with COVID, and I think the combination of my brain being in such a vulnerable state and the beat really speaking to me helped with my writing. Don’t get COVID, by the way. Of the stuff I have out at the time of this writing, I like the song “Embryonic” from Shards II. It’s a kind of spoken word thing over a noise sample. I like hearing what different people think I was going for on that one.

12. Can you pick a favorite bar of yours and describe the genesis of it?

That’s a really tough one. It might be recency bias because it just came out, but I like when I said, “Bantustan bandit back on that bolshevik bullshit.” I like the alliteration and I enjoy using political terms in a somewhat irreverent way. “Bantustan” is in reference to the areas in the West Bank that are designated for Palestinians, which have been compared to the Bantustans of Apartheid-era South Africa, which were designated for black Africans; “bandit” in reference to flippant use of samples; and “bolshevik bullshit” because I guess my raps tend to lean pretty left-wing.

13. Do you feel strongly one way or another about punch-ins? Will you whittle a bar down in order to account for breath control, or are you comfortable punching-in so you don’t have to sacrifice any words?

I don’t think I have any authority to tell people how they should or shouldn’t rap. 99.9% of the time I don’t use them because I just don’t need to, and it makes a song easier to perform. But on my song “Nymphs” off of Samizdat (where the line I highlighted in the last question is from), I actually punched-in most of the lines because I was inspired by people like RXKNephew who I feel do it in a unique way, and I just thought it fit the beat. Just seemed like a fun thing to try out. But I don’t really whittle anything down. I have good breath control and sometimes it could even give it more flavor when it sounds like your lungs are about to burst before you finish a line. 

14. What non-hiphop material do you turn to for inspiration? What non-music has influenced your work recently?

Novels of all types, although my favorite authors are ones who can be funny about very serious things - satirical, you know - or know how to play with the English language. The real world. History and politics. Jazz music helps me with finding flows because it is so free and organic. And I really love noise and punk music for the energy.

15. Writers are often saddled with self-doubt. Do you struggle to like your own shit, or does it all sound dope to you?

I like what I put out. It’s not lost on me that many people may find my style outlandish and maybe even unlistenable - that’s okay. It sounds like me and whoever it’s meant for will find it and enjoy it. 

16. Who’s a rapper you listen to with such a distinguishable style that you need to resist the urge to imitate them?

Well, the flow on “Nymphs” was done on purpose as a direct tribute, but otherwise I think I’m weird enough as a person (in a good way) that I can take influence from my favorites such as DOOM or ELUCID and it would still come out sounding like me, if that makes sense. 

17. Do you have an agenda as an artist? Are there overarching concerns you want to communicate to the listener?

I would like to show the listener that rap is a limitless genre and the best genre and the culmination of all genres, where you can say whatever you want, however you want, and that you can really make a beat out of anything. Real-world concerns would focus on eradicating oppression of all people on the basis of who they are (or any basis really) and the use of everyday language in creative and “foreign” ways. 

RAPS + CRAFTS is a series of questions posed to rappers about their craft and process. It is designed to give respect and credit to their engagement with the art of songwriting. The format is inspired, in part, by Rob McLennan’s 12 or 20 interview series.

Photo credit: Delaney Nash

[peculiar0ne]

pretty boy

.•.•.•.•.

steve walked over to the full-body mirror as he finished styling his hair. he peeked up from the floor, awkwardly looking at the little outfit he had thrown together.

see, robin had taken him shopping with her the other day. they were at the jcpenny in the mall, robin trying on different skirts and asking steve’s opinion. she had a date with nancy and she wanted to look her best.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“i don’t know, robs. i like them all! but i think nance would want you to dress in something you’re comfortable wearing, don’t you?” steve questioned. he knew robin hated skirts, dresses, anything of the sort. the girl would much rather dress in her old, busted up jeans than wear a skirt.

“yeah…you’re probably right. i’m sorry i’m all panicky.” robin turns to gather all the skirts she had scattered throughout the small dressing room.

as the pair made their way around, looking for something more comfy for robin to wear on her date, steve stopped robin when he saw something he really liked.

his hand struck out in front of her, preventing the girl from going forward. “what do you want, dingus?” she laughed, used to steve’s ‘mom arm’ by now.

“uh…robs..is it weird for guys to wear skirts?”

“what?”

“just answer the question.”

“depends on who you ask. personally, i think it’s pretty cool….why is this relevant?” robin glances over, seeing the smallest hint of a smile making its way onto her friend’s face.

steve’s smile quickly falters, though, as he tries to find the words he wants to say.

“i wanna wear one….” he’s so quiet, his voice almost a whisper.

“sorry, what? you’re super quiet, i couldn’t hear.”

“i said i…i wanna wear one. for eddie. well, more for me. i don’t just wear things for eddie, because that’s just stupid and-“

“you want to wear a skirt?” robin inquires, her tone soft and understanding.

steve nods, nervously glancing at his shoes.

“alright, awesome. let’s go find one!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ that’s how steve found himself in his current position. robin had bought him a cute, black skirt that had stopped at his lower-thighs. he had been anxiously waiting to wear it, and today was a perfect day.

here he stood, steve harrington, in a skirt that he paired with his boyfriend’s hellfire shirt which he had been wearing since the previous night.

he smiled, spinning a little to make his skirt twirl. steve’s happiness could’ve been seen from the next town over.

“stevie, have you seen my-“

eddie paused in his footsteps, jaw dropped.

steve jumped up at the sound of eddie’s voice, not sure he was ready to show off his skirt. he turned, face redder than the stripes on his old scoops ahoy! uniform.

“s..seen what?”

stupid fucking stutter.

eddie opens and closes his mouth a few times, having completely forgotten everything he wanted to ask.

“eds? you’re, uh, scaring me…”

the taller of the two shakes his head, smiling like an idiot.

“wow, babe. you look….wow”

“r..really?” steve perks up a little, biting his lip to keep from smiling. no, grinning.

“holy fuck, yes stevie. where did this come from?” eddie was smirking now, wrapping his arms around steve’s waist and swaying him gently.

“uh..robs and i were shopping…and i thought it was pretty,” steve hums as he relaxes in the older boy’s arms.

“i think you look pretty, babygirl.” eddie trails kisses over his shoulder blades, before resting his chin on his lover’s shoulder.

steve nods, his way of saying ‘thanks’, and turns around in eddie’s arms. he wraps his own arms around eddie’s shoulders and rests his face in his neck.

“how pretty?” steve jokes, trying to gain some confidence.

“so fucking pretty. my pretty boy”

.•.•.•.•.

LOWERCASE INTENDED

thanks @simpforsauron for requesting the ficlet version!

[cerberusthenking3]

Inside A Husk

Warning:This story contains soft,safe vore,awkward/uncomfortable pred,child prey,alcohol,accidental vore

Ushi POV.

I sigh as I sit on the stool while eating some cereal while I hear Miss Charlie arguing with Alastor again for the third time this morning.He is responding back to her in a teasing tone to everything she's getting frustrated about.I sigh and hear someone ask"Rough night?"I look up tiredly and see Mr Husk standing in the bar with a bottle of beer already in his hand.I nod and say,"Miss Charlie was singing in her room all night,not much sleep to be had here,I guess"He nods and says"I'd offer you a drink but I feel like Charlie would smack me for that"I give a small laugh and say"Maybe I'll ask Pentious to let me sleep in his stomach for a bit"Mr Husk shivers and says"How in hell do you like being eaten by that guy,it's gross"I take another bite and say"I don't like being eaten but it is very comfortable and able to block noise pretty well"He takes another swig before jumping when we hear a loud explosion and I turn to see a bolt of shadowy magic slams into me and I'm thrown into Mr Husk.Alastor and Miss Charlie run over to make sure I'm okay and I notice Miss Charlie's hand smoking and Alastors hand has a shadowy film over it.Miss Charlie says in a panicky tone"Oh my Satan,I'm so sorry that shrinking spell was meant for Alastor!"Alastor speaks with a clearer voice than usual."My apologies,I only meant to knock it away and not into anybody,or I would have aimed it a Vagatha,"Miss Vaggie yells."HEY!"Before he brushes her off and says,"Charlie,reverse it."She raises her hand as a bolt of red magic hits me, and I feel that instead of growing,my body begins shifting,and I feel something growing out of my head as I shrink more with fur growing all over my body as I yell.........squeak?In confusion I look down and realize that I've become a mouse,panic sets in as I look at Miss Charlie and tears begin welling up in my eyes.

Ushi POV.

Miss Charlie and Miss Vaggie have both been freaking out for almost an hour as she trues different spells to turn me back but just wound up turning my new fur white and changing me from a normal mouse to a creature that Alastor called a Marten,specifically something called a Sable which he felt the need to say taste good which he punctuates by licking me,then I turned back into a mouse again.Miss Charlie smacks him for this but is panicking more and more every failed spell before eventually Miss Vaggie tells her that she should rest which makes me a little more upset but I do understand that the constant magic is straining her body.Mr Husk said he would watch me while Miss Charlie takes a quick nap before trying again and if she can't turn me back before tonight she'll call her father and get him to help.Mr Husk sits me on the bar counter as I sigh and sit down,small droplets of ters fall from my eyes as I start yelling angrily"AHHHHH,I'LL NEVER GET HOME AT THIS RATE"I bang my head on the counter before hearing Mr Husk say"You good kid?"I look up at him as he reaches down and begins petting my back awkwardly and saying,"Don't worry,Charlie will get ya back to normal,and even if she can't her dad will"I sigh,he doesn't even know why I'm so frustated,its not just the being turned into a mouse,so far I've been stuck in the hotel since I got here and all I can do is watch cartoon reruns,clean my room because they won't let me clean anywhere else or help around the hotel because they don't want me to hurt myself or have anyone outside see me,or another guest named"Angel Dust"to talk to me.They said it's not that he'll try to hurt me but he's super inappropriate and I'm not old enough to be around him.Mr Husk keeps petting me and I begin making a weird noise without much of a thought.He laughs and says"I guess you could consider you a baby mouse but I wasn't expecting you to purr"I feel embarrassment shoot over me and I turn away from him while crossing my arms.

Ushi POV.

Mr Husk has me sitting on my shoulder as he serves a white furred demon with a weird black and pinkish/red eye.Mr. Husk says, "Angel,you know you're not supposed to drink this early,Charlie will be on you."The weird demon who I now know as Angel says,"Oh come now,She'll never know sourpuss."He looks up and says,"And why do you have a mouse?"Mr Husk sighs and says,"This is the human Chalie told ya about,she got hit by a rogue spell and shrunken,but when Charlie tried to fix it she accidentally turned her into a mouse"Angel says"Whoa,Charlie can shrink people and turn them into animals?"Mr Husk shrugs and says,"I guess. "Angel reaches up and pets my head.I begin purring again on accident and smack his hand away, so he says,"Ooh,feisty"Mr husk laugh and nods when suddenly something comes bursting through the door.I get knocked back and slam into something warm and soft,like the inside of Pentious's mouth.Whoever's mouth I fell into is forced to swallow and I hear Mr Husk all around me yell"WHAT THE HELL,YOU RADIO HEADED PRICK,YOU MADE ME SWALLOW USHI"I shiver as I slip into a small sack that tightens around me as Mr Husk asks"Are you okay kid?"I squeak nervously, and he says,"Oh yeah,can't talk,well you're safe so uhh,just relax,or don't I can't make you do anything"I chitter unhappily but curl up inside of the pouch.I hear liquid moving down further than where I am and smell the sharp scent of alcohol and scratch at the stomach lining and hear him yelp in pain before saying"Her,what was that for?"I squeak angrily, and he says,"Fine,I won't drink while you're in there,"I lay down satisfied and feel sleep washing over me as I begin purring again.Mr Husk says"Its alright kid,I'll let you out once Charlie wakes up to turn you back"I slowly black out and realize how tired I am.I'll have to try to get more sleep during the day if the only time I can sleep is while I'm in a demons stomach,not that I'm complaining too much because it is comfortable.

[firstsprinces]

Thank you @priincebutt and @anincompletelist for tagging me in the first WIP Wednesday of 2024! I can’t wait for all that’s to come from you both this year!

I managed to write quite a bit of my first smutty one shot featuring Alex as a lumberjack, and because I’m not going to share the next chapter of the alien Alex AU (because it’s a gift and I want every chapter to be a surprise), you’ll be getting posts about this until it’s published. I’m hoping it won’t be for more than two weeks but it all depends on if I become too busy!

This is what stable boy Alex was supposed to be before I had to make them have too many feelings and full on love story.

Here’s Henry attempt to flirt with the handsome woodsman.

He withdraws his hand quickly, which now makes him feel more nervous because the action could have the same obvious effect as him letting his fingertips linger over his. Henry's too much in his head and he doesn't want that to show either. From the time he had gone in to fetch the cold bottle of water, Henry had been thinking of how he was going to introduce himself to him. He had wanted to say something smooth, but not come off as this overly confident flirt — not that he’s ever been an overly confident flirt. He doesn't just want to give him a simple "hi, I'm Henry" because he wants to indicate that's he interested in more than just being someone who hopes the man is staying hydrated while he works. Then there's the chance Henry's read on the lumberjack is wrong and he's straight. It's a short amount of time to have such a jumbled and panicky fight with his thought-processing. “N-nice wood,” is what he comes up with instead and the moment he hears the words, he wishes the axe that’s been struck into the tree stump would magically fly out and chop him in half. Henry watches as the lumberjack's shoulders slump and he can't tell if it's just from relaxing his muscles or if he's put off from what he's said. Surely, if he doesn't want him around he'd be more tense in his broad shoulders, but the tension could also mean he's quite sore from lifting the axe and bring it back down to chop logs repetitively for hours - and if they're sore, he'd need a massage, or maybe take a hot shower to ease his pain. Henry needs to stop having these thoughts because he can easily lose himself in the spiral. To Henry's luck, and surprise, he doesn't seem to be weirded out by his attempt at flirting. In fact, he doesn't miss a beat and flirts back - at least, this is what Henry will tell people if someone asks him how they met. “Thanks. Would you like to give me a hand with it?”

Anyone else is free to take this as an open tag!

[theghostpinesmusic]

McKenzie River Trail (2/2)

I woke up on the second day of my hike down the MRT feeling a bit better about my prospects. The beautiful morning light filtering through the trees didn't hurt.

I'd planned to take on the trail over three days, mostly just because I wanted to spend a second night camping outside under the trees. But now that I'd covered twelve miles and found a place to sleep for the first night, I knew that if it was necessary I could knock out the remaining fourteen miles on the second day, get to the car, and take a long, night drive home instead of going through a second panicky search for a maybe-nonexistent campsite.

(As it turned out, I did find a place to camp for a second night and everything worked out just fine, but because my hike out on the third day was extremely short and uneventful, I'm combining days two and three into this one post because it feels silly to do otherwise.)

Apparently this newfound sense of comfort infiltrated my subconscious, because I slept through my alarm twice and somehow didn't manage to get on the trail on the second "morning" until 11:30.

I did get going eventually, though, and before long I passed Olallie Campground. During the previous day's search for a campsite, I'd had Olallie in my head as my last-ditch option: if I didn't find anything else first, it was thirteen miles down the trail and despite being a campground instead of a backcountry spot, it would have done in a pinch...or so I'd thought. Turns out that Olallie Campground is on the east side of the McKenzie River and the MRT, at this point, is on the west side. There is no way to actually get to the campground from the trail unless you want to hike multiple miles out of your way.

I was both embarrassed at myself for not noticing this on the map earlier, and happy that I'd found the site I'd found the previous night, because camping at Olallie would not have worked for me.

I waved to the car-campers as I walked by on the "wrong" side of the river.

I bit further south, I passed by Bigelow Hot Springs and an extremely fancy bridge spanning Deer Creek.

It was the first of a few cool bridges along the next section of the trail, though some were more bespoke than others.

At one point, the trail turned into a weird double-track, but only for a short stretch, and that short stretch also featured most of the few wildflowers I saw during the trip.

The next few miles of hiking were beautiful in their own way, but the second, southern half of the trail is definitely lacking big, "marquee" scenic spots like waterfalls or the Blue Pool. It's perfectly fine, but I can definitely understand why it's frequented more by bikers than backpackers.

A second, related problem started to make itself clear once I'd covered five or six miles from my first night's campsite: though there are actually many flat, established spots on the southern half of the trail, the MRT is so close to Highway 126 that, for the most part, you are constantly clearly hearing the roar and rattle of semi trucks hurtling down the road anywhere you stop. I'd certainly never expected the MRT to provide a pristine wilderness experience, and even if I originally had, my first day on the trail would have disavowed me of any such notion. But, I knew I'd also rather just finish out the trail on the second day and drive home than lay awake to noisy, clattering traffic all night long.

Complicating things a bit more was the fact that you aren't legally allowed to camp along the final four miles or so of the trail, which meant that I was going to have to either find a not-noisy spot before then, or give up and go home.

So, past the five-mile mark, my second day on the MRT was a...weird day. I spent a bunch of time walking slowly along and eyeing the GaiaGPS map on my phone, making sure I didn't hike too far south and west while keeping an eye open for camp spots. More than once, I found one that looked cozy, then spent ten or fifteen minutes sitting in it, trying to get a sense of whether or not the road noise overpowered the roar of the river in that one particular spot. In each case, the semis won out and I moved on.

Then, just about when I had given up and decided to hike out early and drive home, I came upon an amazing little spot just off the trail, situated on a little island above the river and screened from the main trail by just enough brush to make it feel private. I engaged in my neurotic surveillance ritual to judge the amount of road noise, and while I could occasionally hear some traffic in the distance over the rush of the river, I decided that it was quiet enough that it was worth putting up with to spend a second night on the McKenzie River.

At seven miles (give or take a mile or so), this was probably one of the shortest days I'd ever taken on a backpacking trip, so I had a lot of time to wash up in the river, wander up and down the trail a bit without my pack in search of Whatever, and read. And take a bunch of pictures of how cool my tent looked underneath the giant trees, of course.

I slept surprisingly well, considering my worries about road noise and all, and woke up early the next morning ready to finish out the last five or six miles of the MRT.

First, though, with better light to work with, I took more pictures of my tent.

I took a little bit longer eating breakfast than I usually would, knowing I had both a short hike and a short(ish) drive ahead of me and wanting to stretch out the experience a bit more now that I was nearing the end.

When I finally got on with things, the MRT almost immediately, disorientatingly, led me uphill and directly alongside the highway for a bit.

This certainly wasn't actually as weird as it felt, but it felt really weird.

Shortly after, I passed Belknap Springs and the Belknap Springs Resort. I think if I ever did this trail again, I'd probably stay at this Resort one of the two nights: it came highly recommended by a few dayhikers that I passed and if the southern part of the trail kind of lacks a real wilderness character, I might as well embrace it by staying at a fancy resort, right?

We'll see.

Shortly after the Resort, I crossed Lost Creek via another cool bridge.

The last four miles through the "no camping" zone were really straightforward and featured a bunch more of the silver-barked mallorn trees.

Once I passed through this area, though, I immediately understood why you can't camp there: it's right next to the highway, and there are tons of little side roads and trails intersecting the MRT here. The underbrush is a mess and dotted with human-built slash piles everywhere. None of that is a complaint, as lots of the forest throughout Oregon could be described this way, but you definitely wouldn't want to camp here, even if it was allowed.

The MRT did dip down next to the river a few more times, though, and the last time it did I took an unnecessary but welcome break to watch the water flow by for a few final minutes before heading back uphill to the lower trailhead.

After cleaning up briefly at the car, I drove to the Three-Legged Crane in Oakridge and ate there for the first time ever. I had a tempeh reuben which was ridiculous and I will definitely be stopping there again on my next drive through town.

Overall, I'm glad I hiked the MRT: it was the only thing that really fit into my schedule at that exact point in the summer and I had been ambivalent enough about it for the previous few years that that was just the push I needed to get me to check it out instead of waiting until later to hike something I was more excited about.

I'm damning with faint praise here a little bit: I think I've made clear throughout this report all the things that make the trail less than ideal for backpacking in particular. That said, the northern half of the trail in particular was incredibly beautiful in spots in the way that only the wet side of Central Oregon can be. I'm glad I did the whole thing once, because I'd always wanted to eventually. Finding camping spots was stressful, but the two I found and used were great, and I spent two relaxing nights under the huge trees listening to the roar of the McKenzie, and that's definitely worth something.

I might go back and try this hike again as a March-ish spring break hike some year, because, as I understand it, it's much less busy during that time of year and you can backcountry camp in many of the built-up campgrounds without paying a fee or dealing with cars and RVs.

Except Olallie Campground, unless you can swim like a motherfucker.

[quillpokebiology]

So, I've asked around a lot, and it seems like not a single professor on here is willing to help me make heads or tails of my Marshadow… Which I suspect is due to them not wanting to risk their professional reputation on a pokemon thought to not even exist just a few months ago.

I figured since you're a student, you'd subscribe to no such amounts of caution. (I'm also getting a bit desperate)

Basically, I'd like a bit of an analysis of my Marshadow, if you can manage that. I need to know what makes it tick, and specific needs that go beyond those of normal ghost type Pokemon, as it's far from normal (even though I personally don't consider it an actual Mythical, just rare).

If not, I'll look elsewhere. Again. But thanks for your time.

P.s. I'll send in samples if you need them for testing or something, idk, I'm not a doctor. But the little guy(?) drools, sheds, and isn't potty trained yet so it should be easy to get samples from it.

Hello! I'd love to answer this! I've never cared or seen a marshadow in real life, and I'd love for you to send me samples of its DNA! If you can, just mail it to Uva-Naranja academy! But since I don't know much about its DNA and how it's body works, this will mostly talk about behavior.

(I may or may not have gotten the info from the science part of the black market, but that's not important)

(Also tell those professors to grow up. You can't be right about everything; the whole point of science to is to build on to what you already may or may not know)

Marshadow

(Art by Pixiv)

Marshadow is a "mythical" pokemon native to the Alola region. They're fighting/ghost type, which is a really unique and rare typing!

It's thought that this pokemon was a myth, until a scientist in Alola discovered it in the flesh. The reason it took so long to find these pokemon is because they hid in the shadows for so long. It saw pokemon fighting and practiced their fighting techniques, making them excellent in combat. They also do a lot of shadow boxing, do don't mind it if it starts punching the air for no reason.

They seem to be extremely shy, as they've hid in the shadows for so long. Your marshadow might dissappear for a couple of days because it's hiding somewhere, or it might even be your shadow. Who knows.

Zenith Marshadow

When angered or in, marshadow goes into a Zenith Form. It becomes a lot more powerful and dangerous in this form.

Care

This part is mostly for the asker.

Your marshadow seems young. He isn't potty trained, right? I suggest getting him a litter box, or something similar. Let him no that that's where it's supposed to do it's business, and reward then when they don't have an accident. Imagine it's like raising a child basically.

You could teach it how to use the toilet. I just suggested litterbox since it'll instinctively know that it's supposed to cover it, and it'll be less weird.

I'd suggest keeping it out of overly sunny or bright areas, as well as populated areas. Due to how shy they are, places with a lot of people and pokemon can make them feel overwhelmed and panicky. Too much sun can harm its eyes, and at noon, the shadows will be smaller, and it might not have anywhere good to hide.

They can eat, but not as often as other pokemon. Feeding it once a week should be enough.

I don't know what will tick off your marshadow personally. This is really all the info I have on it right now. But I'd be happy for you to tell me any new things you figure out. Best of luck to caring for it!

[domsaysstuff]

Spidey!Robin AU

this au from this post is still rotating in my head to the point of insanity so here are some ideas abt it

ronance|side-steddie

Robin didn't like spiders.

She wasn't afraid of them but most of them made her uneasy and she would rather not deal with them. Still, even with her uneasiness she could not bring herself to kill one. Which normally isn't a problem, Steve even if he himself was afraid of them, and Robin knew that, like Robin knew everything about Steve through years of exposure to him and extortion and possibly a case of their brains melting together, he would put a brave face and take care of it for her.

But Steve wasn't here right now and there was a spider on her desk. To top it, the spider itself was looking weird, almost intelligent. Maybe Steve was right and she was studying too much and her brain was going to fry up but she could swear there was something about the spider that made her think it could understand her.

"Here goes nothing." She mumbled to herself. "Okay little guy, I'll take you out the window but you need to stay put, no funny tricks!"

The spider predicably didn't respond.

"Jesus Christ Buckley, you're starting to talk to fucking spiders." She rolled her eyed and then sighed, and moved towards the spider with a sheet of paper. "I'm going to scoop you up on this thing buddy and then carry you to the window."

Still no response. She took a stabilizing breath and did as she said. The Spider, because at this point he deserved to be addressed with capitalized letters, was still staying put and letting itself be moved onto the sheet.

"Huh, this is easy." Steve always moans and complains all until the spider is out their apartment. But then, there rarely is a moment when Steve doesn't complain. Dustin always says he's like a grumpy grandpa, Robin just calls him bitchy. "We're almost there bud."

She opened the window and moved the sheet onto the window still. And then things happened so quickly she could barely blink. The Spider moved towards her hand and she went into the panic mode.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, get off, get off, oh my god, get off, this is not what we agreed on!" Trying to shake it off her hand she also moved closer to the window and that's when she felt it. A small pinch, barely noticeable through her panic. "What the fuck! You bit me!"

The betrayal she felt was almost as strong as her panic, she shook her hand even harder and that's when the spider fell of right into the open window.

Her first thought was, thank god.

Her second was, I'm never laughing at Steve when he needs to throw out a spider ever again.

The third was, oh god it bit me. I'm going to die.

So turns out she was not going to die.

After a panicky call to Steve and a visit at the hospital, it was confirmed she was fine.

So, she's not dying, great, mostly after a week the Spider was almost out of her mind.

And that's when she starts feeling weird.

After that, she discovers she has powers, she tells Steve like, the next day because she can't not tell Steve, c'man, they don't keep secrets so she becomes spiderwoman

Okay so Robin is a freshmen in college and she lives nearby campus with Steve who is also either a freshmen (had a one year gap) or a sophomore

Steve is the og man in chair but they need some way to hack the police radio to get intel and that's where they involve Dustin (bc Steve still is the babysitter, just without the upside down shit) and his tech knowledge, how Erica gets involved is anyone's guess (maybe she makes the costume, i feel like Dustin would definitely be the one to suggest a costume, the lil comic nerd) but she does and so the Scoops Team is like Robin's team of operations

Four months in and Robin is starting to get this vigilante shit. Unfortunately, she's not very, uh, discreet. So the city gets a hero, but also the mystery. Who is Spiderwoman?

Enter Nancy Wheeler. Nancy, the leader of the campus newspaper. Nancy dedicated to become someone big, someone important, Nancy committed to breaking out, hungry for a story that would put her name out there.

So obviously, obviously, she wants to know who spiderwoman is more than anyone. And she's not used to not getting what she wants.

Robin to sway her away from her trail joins the newspaper.

"Why can't you do it Steve?"

"Okay first of all, no one would believe I want to join the newspaper and besides, Nancy is my ex-girlfriend!"

"Yeah! So you know her the best! You know how to distract her!"

"Did you miss the ex part?"

At first they have a bit of enemies flavor to them, because Nancy doesn't know why would Robin do this and also Nancy is publicly anti-spidey and Robin absolutely blabbers and ruins the two times she tries to defend spiderwoman (which actually, i think is just fucking flirting, you can't say Nancy doesn't enjoy a good argument and i think Robin thinks she flunked it but she actually made a few points that had Nancy thinking about them later like, huh, maybe there is something to her point and that makes Nancy feel all warm and fluttery inside, she just enjoys someone who can challenge her) but as they work together they start to have a bit more closer relationship

And she can't help it, she can't help it but develop a crush on Nancy fucking Wheeler of all people. But it's just she's so pretty and actually kind and stubborn and fierce, how was Robin not supposed to have a crush?

But Nancy Wheeler has a boyfriend. A boyfriend that also works for the newspaper. Jonathan Byler is a photographer for the campus newspaper and the biggest issue with him is that Robin actually fucking likes the guy.

And the thing is that at first Robin only really faces off against some petty criminals, like no one supernatural, for all she knows she is the only supernatural person in the world

Then Venom appears and Venom wants to fuck shit up. The guy is practically on a big power trip™ and Robin must stop him.

She can like spidersense him but only if she's really close to him, usually it works better, but this is almost like he's masking?? She doesn't really get it but she knows it it screws with her spidersense

And either they think its eddie munson because its just fit with the crime places and shit (but he's human) or one day her and Steve are walking through campus and they pass Eddie Munson and her spider senses are tingling™ (because he's spidey, bc spideys as a queer metaphor my beloved, also just imagine just how funny it would be if Eddie asked Robin if Steve is also like them (meaning queer) and she took it as meaning spidey so she's like "he wishes" chuckling and then starts talking how great and supportive he is tho, so Eddie thinks Steve is straight but a great ally snssj)

Either way Steve needs to get closer to Eddie Munson ("why i have to spend time with Eddie the freak Munson?" "Because i just joined the newspaper last month dingus! It's your time to pull your weight, besides your kids beg you like all the time to play their dice game! It's a good excuse!") so he starts sitting on hellfire meetings that is less a highschool club now and more of a friends meeting up together after Eddie graduated, under the disguise that he finally caved in with the kids begging (if he falls for Eddie Fucking Munson it's noones but his and Robin's business)

Venom is obvs Billy

Also! Also! A scene of Nancy sort of coming out to Robin, but not really Robin but spiderwoman and admitting her crush on Robin to her, on like some rooftop of a building after Robin saved her or some shit and Nancy is like "i feel like you would understand, constantly feeling torn between two words and identities" and it's like this vulnerable moment for Nancy and it's very bittersweet for Robin because now she knows

But she shouldn't have known. She shouldn't, she should have stopped Nancy before she said anything because she has really no right to know. Nancy didn't tell it to Robin Buckley, she said it to Spiderwoman. And after that Robin is a bit weird around Nancy because she KNOWS but she SHOULDN'T and oh god, she's gonna puke

And then Nancy finding out abt Robin being Spidey and feeling betrayed but also rejected because she now knows she revealed her crush to Robin and in turn Robin started acting weird so she takes this as rejection and it's this miscommunication between them and also maybe at this moment Robin also feels like a shit spiderwoman because Billy hurt Steve, who tried to protect the kids and she was unable to stop it and Steve is hurt and Nancy is mad at her and she can't be a superhero and she can't be just a normal girl and she feels so mad and tired

Anyway that's all i have, if you read this far I'm giving you a big kiss on the forehead 💖

[nii-chans-rabiddogs]

Training

TWs: pet whump, dehumanization, shock collars, panic attacks. sorry it took so long<3

@cupcakes-and-pain @maracujatangerine

I jerked awake, trying to yank the collar off as it shot pain through my neck, burning and fierce. It stopped just as fast as it started, and I whimpered as my eyes focused on Seren, standing in front of me. I wheezed, trying to recover my breath, but the muzzle made it extremely hard to do.

“Finally. We have stuff to do today, puppy, so let’s get right in. I have a special training room set up just for you, so get up.” Seren snapped, opening the kennel door and yanking me up by the collar around my neck. I flinched back, trying to get away, shaking.

That- she said the collar wasn’t gonna hurt, didn’t she? She said she wouldn’t hurt me, why- I wanna go home, I want Detective or the heroes, they would stop this, they wouldn’t hurt me, they wouldn’t- I shrieked when the collar lit up again, burning and hot and painful. I crumpled to the floor, trying and failing to breathe through the stupid muzzle. It hurts, and I can’t breathe and I’m tired and I just wanna go home, please, I just wanna leave, it hurts and I’m scared and I’ll be good, please just let me go home, please please please-

“Jesus christ, it was just one shock, calm down. It wasn’t even that bad.” Seren said as she undid the muzzle and pulled it away. I gasped, trying to get as much air in my lungs as I could.

She yanked me to my feet again, keeping a hold on the collar this time. I tried to keep up, even though my head was still spinning and it felt like I wasn’t getting enough oxygen even with the muzzle off. I followed her as she led me out of the kennels and down towards the large room I first saw Hunter in. No one was inside, and she didn’t slow down as she tugged me across to another door. She only let go of my collar to scan her badge to open the door, then held the leash with both hands. We were in another hallway, but I focused on trying not to panic and keep my breathing steady. She abruptly stopped at a heavy metal door with a deadbolt on it. I stepped back, not liking how the deadbolt was on the wrong side of the door, but Seren yanked me into the room before I could spiral any further. She kept going, ignoring me as I stumbled, and led me into the very back corner. There’s a dog cage, dog bed, and a chain all set against the wall. I clamped my jaw shut, trying not to whimper. She roughly disconnected the leash, clipping the chain in its place. 

“You really need to calm down. Getting panicky over one tiny shock isn’t goin’ to help you any. Literally all you need to do is listen and obey, puppy, that’s it. I need to grab your food and water bowls, and some treats, alright? You’d better be all calmed down before I get back.” She warned, before whirling around and walking back out with the same fast pace she had since she woke me up. I tried to say something, but my throat closed up and I shrunk back into the wall.

I’m so scared, and I just want Detective to get me already. I just wanna go home and hide in my blankets and get the stupid damn collar off, and not be hurt or called “puppy” or “mutt” or anything, why did I have to be here? I didn’t do anything, I always stayed with Detective and I never went after villains or heroes or anyone, I’ve never done anything, why am I the one getting hurt? I just wanna go home and hide in my blanket nest with Detective nearby like before, please… 

I sniffled, glancing around the rest of the room. There was a shelf with hooks underneath that had a wire muzzle and another harness to the left of the door. Next to it, farther from the door, was a large wooden cabinet which was a dark grey. Lots of things are dark grey in this place, which is weird. Makes everything dark and gloomy, and I don’t like it. There’s a box of dog toys near the right wall, and I frown at it. I hate being treated like a dog, I’m not an animal. It makes me feel sick and scared and stupid, and I wanna yell at them to stop but everyone else is stronger than me and I don’t wanna get hurt any more. Detective woulda noticed I’m gone by now, so he’ll be looking for me, right? Or the heroes, they would notice I’m gone and look for me, but why haven’t they come yet then? The heroes and Detetive always work together to find people, and they’re doing the same for me… Right?

I bit my lip, shaking my head. They have to come for me, they wouldn’t ever leave me here. I glanced down at the chain connected to my collar, fiddling with the latch part. It had a normal latch part, but it just wouldn’t move or do anything. I huffed, before rubbing at my face and plopping down to the floor. I sat with my legs crossed, rocking back and forth idly while looking closer at the dog cage. It had a thin pink blanket on the inside, but on the top of the cage there was a black blanket, covering the entire thing except for the door. It looked like it was for really big dogs, but I dunno if I wanna ever go in there, cuz it has a padlock on the door, and I hate being locked in things. I always feel like I’m back in the freezer again, and it scares me so much and makes me wanna cry or scream. The dog bed is one of the soft, fluffy ones that pet stores always have, and it looks like it would be nice to lay in if I wasn’t being treated like a stupid little dog. I huff again, before clicking my tongue just for some noise. The only thing I can hear is the buzz of the lights and my breathing, and that feels way too quiet. I keep rocking back and forth, but I speed up cuz it feels like I have electricity in my veins and I can’t roll around or spin so I haveta settle for rocking. It’s fun, though, and I don’t feel really, really panicky anymore.

“Oh? Good boy, puppy. You’re such a good boy, being quiet and calm, aren’t you? Does the good boy want a treat? Yeah, you want a treat, boy?” Seren called, and I jerked up to stare at her. 

“I- I’m not a dog!” I snapped, trying to ignore how shaky and quiet I was.

“Now now, puppy, I know this is a big change for you, so I’ll let that slide just this once. I know you have trouble learning new things, so I’ll be nice, okay? We have all the time in the world for you to learn your place, after all.” 

“That- Hey! I’m not, I’m not a stupid dog. I don’t- what do you even mean by ‘learning my place’? You can’t, you can’t treat me like this, it isn’t-”

“Nope, stopping you right there. I can treat you however I like, because there is no one to stop me, and if I say you’re a dog, then You. Are. A. Dog. I am your trainer, and you will obey everything I say. You aren’t a person, you aren’t important, you do not get to make demands. My word is law, and if you don’t treat it as such, then I’m taking away your speaking privileges, because a mutt like you sure as hell doesn’t need to talk to obey. Do you understand me?” Seren spat, stalking over angrily, glaring at me. 

“I- wait, please, I didn’t- I just-”

“Do. You. Understand. Me.” She snarled, and I shrunk down, shoving into the wall. 

I nodded my head rapidly, turning my head away and staring at her boots. She stood over me, before crouching down and grabbing my jaw, forcing me to make eye contact. I stared at the wall behind her instead.

“Hm. We need to curb that backtalk, don’t we? Well, I guess it’s not entirely your fault, puppy. I knew you were stupid, but I guess I have to state things extra clearly just for you, huh? That’s my fault, I suppose. But you do need to be punished, so we’re goin’ to get a special little collar for you, puppy. And you did so good before you opened your mouth, too.” 

I clamped my jaw shut, desperate not to anger her further. Seren walked over to the shelf to grab the extra collar, which looked like one of those bark collars people use to shut their dogs up. I flinched as she brought it closer, trying to cover my neck with my arms.

“Wait, wait, wait, I didn’t, please, I don’t- I’m sorry, please, I’ll be quiet, please, I- wait, Seren-” 

“No, you were a bad dog. Bad dogs need to get punished. And it’s Mistress to you, mutt. Don’t make me shock you again.” She stated, wrapping the bark collar just above the first. 

I tried to grab her hands, but she just shoved them to the side and wrapped the collar super tight until I stopped. She moved the spikes to the side of my neck, pulling it until they dug painfully into my neck. She clicked the collar closed, then tugged at it lightly. After making sure it wasn’t too loose she sat back, crouching in front of me.

“There we go. I need to order a custom collar now, you know that? I don’t fancy needing two collars just to keep you quiet. Whatever. Let’s just continue with your training, okay, puppy? We can start with ‘place’, that should be easy enough for you. Alright boy, go place!” 

Seren snapped her fingers and pointed at the dog bed, backing up a couple of steps. I frowned, not moving from my spot. She sighed, before repeating the command. I chewed on my cheek and glared at the floor near her feet. 

“Okay. Maybe ‘place’ is a little too hard for you right now. Is that it? You’re just a stupid little puppy, aren’t you? My poor, dumb puppy, you must be so confused. Don’t worry, I’ll give you what you need, pup. We can work on ‘sit’, ‘stay’, and ‘come’ until you understand.” Seren said, reaching back to grab the bag of chocolates. 

“I’m-” I choked on air as the collar went off, slamming my head against the wall when I jerked back. I yanked on the bark collar, trying to pull it off. Seren watched, before laughing and shaking her head. I bit my lip, nearly drawing blood and tried not to make any more sounds. I felt my face heating up in humiliation, and glared at Seren. She just raised her eyebrow at me. 

“That must’ve hurt, puppy. Now, come here, boy. Come.” Seren patted her thigh, shaking the bag of chocolates at me. I hesitated for a minute, then slowly got up and walked towards her, the chain pulling taut. 

“There we go, good boy! That wasn’t too hard, was it? Here’s your treat, puppy.” Seren praised, holding out the chocolate for me. I tried to grab it with my hands, but she pulled back. “Uh-Uh, nope. Dogs eat with their mouths, puppy, I thought you knew that. Open up, boy.”

I glared at her, but eventually opened my mouth and she dropped it in. The flavor helps make me feel better, but I also kinda hate it now that I haveta act like a dog to get it. 

“Atta boy, puppy! Sit, boy, sit. Okay, on your knees, back straight. There you go, good boy, good puppy.” Seren dropped another treat, and it didn’t taste as good as before. I stared at the floor while she continued to praise me, and I ignored the urge to scratch at my arms, and started wringing my hands instead. 

“Wait, I can’t just keep calling you ‘puppy’. You need an actual name, but I don’t think Ghost fits. Hmmm, maybe…” Hey, Ghost is the best name! And you can’t just change my name anyways, I’m still a person, you’re just a weird, mean creep. 

“How about Arlo? It’s one of those ditzy names, so it’ll suit you fine. Yeah, Arlo it is.” She walked over to the side, then patted her thighs again. “Arlo, come! Here boy!”

I bristled, and decided to glare at my lap instead. She repeated the command a couple more times, before sighing and muttering something to herself. Suddenly, my collar lit up, burning my throat and I yelped, setting off the bark collar too. I screeched again, before biting my cheeks to keep myself quiet. Tears blurred my vision as I sat hunched over, trying not to make anymore sounds as the pain faded. 

“That’s what happens when you disobey, puppy. Come here, Arlo, come.” Seren held the remote, ready to press the button again. I blinked back tears and moved towards her. She dropped the chocolate on the floor this time, and I stared at it, trying to figure out what she was doing. 

“Go on, eat it. You wanted a treat, did you not? Eat. It.”

I just stared, before realizing what she meant and felt humiliation and dread rip through my body, coiling in my chest. I took a step back, shaking my head. Seren just sighed, and held the remote up again. I flinched and ground my teeth together, waiting for the burning pain, snapping my eyes shut so tears wouldn’t escape. 

“Who the hell is calling me now?! Fine. Arlo, sit!” Seren snapped, yanking out her ringing phone and answering it before I registered what she said. I dropped down so she wouldn’t change her mind about using the remote while on a call. 

“I’m busy, what do you want?... What do you- How in the fresh hell does that happen? Fine, I’m on my way just give me a minute. Just started training a new dog.” She yanked me up by my arm, pulling me towards the dog cage, and unlatched the chain with a weird motion I didn’t get to memorize before she shoved me down to the floor in front of the cage. She undid the padlock, and motioned towards the cage.

“Get in your cage, Arlo. Now.” I flinched away from the door, but she just growled wordlessly to herself. “I said, Get. In. If I have to force you in there, I’m goin’ to shock you until you pass out, get. in. there.” 

I held back a whimper at her anger, before slowly crawling in the cage. It was cramped and I couldn’t keep my back straight or my head up. I wriggled to turn around, barely managing it. Seren slammed the door and padlocked it, before dropping the rest of the blanket over the door, leaving me in the dark. I felt my breathing stutter, and scrunched my eyes closed to try and ignore how much this felt like the freezer. I felt tears leak down my face, and wrapped my arms around myself. I feel like I’m back in the freezer, but the only difference is that it’s actually warm in here. I really, really want Detective now, why hasn’t he gotten me already? …He hasn’t left me here, has he? I dug my nails into my arms, trying to ignore the fear crawling around my heart. Detective will get me. He always does…

[rogueshadeaux]

Chapter Sixteen — Precipice

Were the monkey suits pulling the wool over my eyes that well, or was I just blind? Because with the gray beanie and vest, all casual wear — it was him. Older, wiser, a bit more wrinkled. But there was no doubt in my mind.

5.6k words | 19 min read time | TRIGGER WARNINGS: arguing? they finally get a break :) for now

I woke up curled against the back cushions of the couch, sunlight streaming through the windows. It took me a few minutes to move from right there; I was still so fucking exhausted. It took way too much effort to flip over. 

Most of the boxes on the floor by the couch were gone save for one with trinkets and the one with Ruth’s blanket. The fire was dead, a pile of ash and wood that made me nauseous to look at for too long, and there was no sign of Dad. 

Which made me feel really bad, ‘cause I took his sleep spot. 

I debated just going back to sleep when I offhandedly thought looking at the clock on the oven would be a good idea, physically jolting when it read 2:16. Was it really that late in the day? I forced myself up, begrudgingly leaving the blanket on the couch as I went to freshen up in the bathroom. 

Brent wasn’t in the nursery, Dad not in the master, and neither downstairs — but Brent’s bed was moved into Reggie’s room, the boxes discarded all around the foot of it. They must’ve talked, if our photo album wide open on the bed was any hint — but where the hell were they? 

I bounded back up to the ground floor, a bit panicky until I heard a distinctive crack that barely echoed in from outside. It wasn’t in the front — the snow on the truck hadn’t even been brushed off yet — so I rushed back to look through the slated blinds of the sliding glass door, relieved to see Brent and Dad talking. Dad was holding the ax Brent had made in hand, a split log at his feet. 

‘Course. Destructive boy time, I should’ve known. 

But under the knit hat, Brent’s forehead was splotched red, eyes still bloodshot, and I knew what Dad was doing — he was trying to keep Brent from pushing himself hard again. I’m surprised he was even up now, to be honest; maybe the Conduit powers ‘hard reset’ his body over the night? I wasn’t expecting to see him before dinner. 

Either way, I left them alone, making something that was all breakfast food but shouldn’t constitute such as the clock hit 3 PM before I dug in, hearing more weird metal grinding sounds from outside. 

I disappeared downstairs, digging through the leftover boxes in Dad’s room and bringing them back upstairs to distribute them. It was still so cool being in a room full of Delsin Rowe’s art — and sort of weird. Something in my mind just wasn’t computing that this Delsin Rowe was my Dad Delsin Rowe; surely they were two separate people, right? The idea that they were one in the same was still a completely foreign concept to me. 

I shoved linens away in the giant hall closet, bounding back down the stairs and pulling at the taped edges of another box until the cardboard came free, peeling it open to sort through the next batch of things. 

And freezing when I noticed what was in it. 

Oh my god. All that doubt of my Dad-Delsin Rowe and Revolutionist-Delsin Rowe being the same guy disappeared as I pulled out that iconic jean jacket with the two-headed eagle spray painted on the back, the vest stiff from unmoving for so long. It still had the little buttons on it even! A bunch of band buttons, one of a capital G crossed out that I didn’t really get, one with the logo of that super old furry video game I knew Cat emulated all the time, Sly-something. A bigger one with the Conduit emblem on it again, as if anyone could miss the giant spray painted logo on the back. 

I was holding a piece of history! It kinda felt like this belonged in a museum, honestly. There was so much willpower going into not putting it on, even if it’d just be some sort of art smock on me more than a vest. This was the vest. Holy shit. 

There was sudden chuckling behind me, and I spun in place to see Dad leaned against the doorframe, an eyebrow cocked. “Wha’cha got there?”

My cheeks grew hot like I was a kid just caught with her hand in the cookie jar. “I was, uh, unpacking while you guys did whatever and…” I held it up. “Vest.” 

‘Vest.’ Really, Jean? 

Brent popped his head around the corner, starting off with, “Oh you’re awa—“ and ending with, “Holy sh—“ 

“Brent.”

“Ah! I didn’t curse that time, doesn’t count!” 

I snorted as Brent made his way past Dad and into the room, coming close to look at the jacket and sort of freezing when I held it out for him to look at. But eventually he took it, fanning it out to look at the Conduit emblem in all its glory. “I ever tell you what inspired that?” Dad asked.

“Don’t think you could have,” Brent pointed out, Dad nodding in a sort of resigned agreement. 

“Yeah, fair. But anyways, have you ever heard of the Thunderbird?” 

Brent blinked, turning his head to look at Dad. “Like the guy from the Tom Clancy Revivals?” 

“No, like the myth. It was this giant two headed eagle said to make thunder with its wings and shoot lightning out of his mouth — uh, mouths. The Thunderbird isn’t only an Akomish thing; the Twana believed in him, and there’s a bunch of other tribes that do too. All around America, not just locally. I thought it was really cool that so many different tribes had this same idea about this one thing that when we made the band, I suggested we use it as like, a symbol of solidarity. And being the only one who could draw—“ he motioned to the jacket. “Came up with that. Didn’t want it to be too Akomish ‘cause we were trying so hard to break into the scene and didn’t want to look…traditional.”

He said so hard mockingly, as if he was an idiot back then. 

“It looks cool,” Brent commented, turning and motioning like he was gonna chuck the vest at Dad in a warning to get ready. Dad clapped his hands once and held them open, catching the vest in his hands. 

“Thunderbird is supposed to be this guardian spirit. He’s on the pole at the Longhouse as this whole protection thing—“

“But doesn’t that bird have one head?” I interrupted. 

Dad nodded. “Yeah. But that’s also why I like the Akomish version of Thunderbird most; he can split his head in half. He’s this eagle that balances the world, and his heads are supposed to be these symbols of good and bad karma. One would bring rain to water crops if the Akomish respected their traditions and each other, were good people and whatever. Other one would cause flash floods and dangerous storms and electrocute people or something. Just seemed pretty badass to me as a kid.” 

That was a really cool way to explain thunderstorms. 

Dad looked down at the jacket in his hands for an impossibly long time, long enough for Brent to glance over at me with his eyebrows raised and mouth ‘he okay?’ and for me to shrug in answer. “Hey, why don’t you two come sit on the couch,” he finally said, looking up at Brent and I. “I want to talk to you about something.”

Dad disappeared into the hall, Brent flashing me another confused look before following, me just on his tail. By the time we got to the ground floor of the house, Dad was already standing by the fireplace, the jean vest slung over the arm of the couch. 

It felt like an interrogation. Brent and I sat on the couch under Dad’s thoughtful gaze, and he didn’t break that stare for a while. Not until Brent shifted awkwardly and cracked, saying, “What’s up, Dad?” 

Dad inhaled, thinking over his words carefully before his eyes moved to focus solely on me. “I’ve been thinking about what you said last night, Jeanie,” he began. “And…you might be right.” 

Holy shit, he thought I was right?!

“Eugene called me earlier — there’s a protest tomorrow. March from COLE’s remains to city hall. He’s going, and…and I think I’m gonna go, too.” 

Brent looked from Dad to me, his stare almost accusatory as he said, “You’re leaving?” 

“Portland’s only a three hour drive,” Dad shrugged. “I’m planning on being back by Tuesday night. I’ll definitely be here for Christmas, I promise that much. But there’s Margie’s wake on Monday, and I need to talk to COLE about what’s going on, maybe set something up—“

“Oh, what, you're gonna go in office?” Brent bit, the swat I landed on his bicep definitely hurting me more than him. 

“Brent!” 

“No, Jean,” Brent brushed me off. “They just blew up COLE and you want to go out there? It’s not safe, Dad!” 

“I can take care of myself.” Dad said, surprisingly not even upset at his outburst. “I’ve been doing this for eighteen years.” 

“So? A fucking IED isn’t gonna ask for your work experience—“

“Stop cursing—“

“No, fuck that, Dad.” Brent shot to his feet. “What if something happens?”

“Something did happen: Nineteen people are dead because of speculation. You don’t have your phone right now, so you don’t know about what else is happening.” 

My heart sank. “‘What else?’”

Dad nodded. “There’s riots all over. People are using public databases to find Conduits and harass them, and Conduits aren’t holding back from retaliating. All of this started because of my connection to COLE, and they don’t even know if it’s true.” 

Brent scoffed. “So what, you want to play martyr?” 

“I want to clear the air,” Dad said through gritted teeth. “It’s — I can’t hide anymore, not unless you want to relocate out of the country and last I checked, you don’t have a passport. And you shouldn’t have to hide, Brent. Your sister shouldn’t, and neither should every Conduit in this country. Do you know how soul crushing the past eighteen years have been? Do you want to live a life where you have to hide who you are, what you are, until you die?” 

“I don’t want to lose my Dad because he cares about some fucking company more than me!” Brent raised his voice. “This isn’t about COLE—“

“It’s not!” Dad’s voice got louder too. “This is about you, and Jean, and every other Conduit getting the blame pinned on them for sins they didn’t commit—“ 

“So you’re going to go put a target on your back? Being their meat shield isn’t gonna fix anything—“ 

“It’s going to make sure more innocent people don’t die for something that isn’t their fault—“ 

“They can protect themselves!” Brent retorted, throwing up a hand in a random direction where these mythical theys were in accusation. “Why the hell should we have to sacrifice more for them? Mom’s fucking gone because of—“ 

“Abigail is gone because I wasn’t there to help her!” Dad roared, so loudly I was surprised the window shutters didn’t shake. He suddenly pointed towards me, the action making me flinch in place. “Your sister could have died because I wasn’t there to help. You got shot! Those people at COLE died because I wasn’t there to help. You know 11 of them were Conduits? How were they supposed to protect themselves then?”

Brent’s scowl didn’t disappear, but he bit his tongue, staying silent. Dad huffed a few times before running his hands over his face, exhaling with a sound not unlike a growl, but less defensive. “Please sit back down, Brent,” he requested, palms pressing into his eyeballs. 

Brent didn’t move until I reached out and tugged on his shirt, a silent plea to just listen. He rolled his eyes and plopped down rather violently, crossing his arms tight around his abdomen. 

Dad gave himself another minute, trying to calm himself down. The hands left his face but it took him quite a while to look at us again, eyes missing all that biting anger. He squatted down, placing a hand on each of our knees, chewing on his inner cheek for a minute before he even tried to speak — and even then, it took an extra try. “When I began pitching COLE, everything was restabilizing after the Second Recession and another mass lockdown from the virus — we were barely getting back to normal. There were these conspiracies about a Conduit causing it and it began all this bullshit. Politicians ran with it the next few elections and…god, it just got worse. Conduits started getting barred from places and being tracked and it…it wasn’t right. I couldn’t help them as Delsin, but I knew I could help as Damion. 

“They don’t need Damion anymore. I have a chance to help as Delsin, and shouldn’t we help when we can?” Dad turned to look at Brent, who deftly avoided his gaze. “I didn’t pick you up from eight Saturday school sessions because you don’t believe in helping people, Brent. You knew if that kid used their powers, they’d never see the outside of a juvie cell till they were an adult. You told me that. You know how important it is to help someone who can’t help themselves. 

“I’m scared to leave you two.” Dad shrugged. “I’m fucking terrified to, if I’m being honest. But I can’t hide either of you anymore. The world knows you exist, they know you’re Conduits. This isn’t just about them anymore, but you. I can do this for you, and that’s all I want. You shouldn’t have to do online school. You shouldn’t have been hit or shot, or…or have to grow up without your mom. All of that’s because of this fear mongering, all the bullshit from Empire City to now. If I can do something to change that for you two? I’m going to.

“I’m just going to the march, and maybe to speak. I’ve done it a dozen other times as Damion, just not as large-scale. From there, we’ll see what needs to happen next. But there’s a chance that if I also bring attention to this Archangel…thing or person or whatever, it’ll force them to draw back. I don’t know where to start with them, so maybe if I bring it up on a national stage, it’ll do something. But anything beyond this march, we will decide on as a family. I care about all the Conduits out there, but any sacrifices I make are for you two, and if there’s really something you don’t want me to do then I won’t do it. Eugene’s still there, he can take over whenever I need him to. But this is where it has to start.” 

I nodded, just happy my words meant something to him, enough to change his opinion. Dad seemed thankful for it, then turned to look at Brent, who sighed. “I’m sorry, Dad, I—“ 

“Don’t be.” Dad shrugged. “You have a right to be worried. Sometimes we need the people we love most to tell us when we’re being fucking idiots.” 

Brent breathed out a laugh, the hold around his torso slackening a bit. I didn’t miss the squeeze Dad gave his knee. 

“I love you both,” Dad added. “I just want to give you guys a world where you don’t have to be scared. You’ll be safe here, and I won’t be gone long.” 

Brent sighed, his arms fully letting himself go as he asked, “When are you gonna leave?” 

“I was thinking tonight. The march starts at eleven in the morning, so I should get there early. I also…I need to see the people in the hospital. Antonio. He’s probably torn up, now that Margie’s…” he trailed off. Shaking his head, he took to slapping his hand gently against our knees, standing. “I did want to do something before I Ieave, though.” 

I glanced at Brent, who looked just as clueless. “What?” 

Dad’s smile grew a bit more impish as he said, “We don’t have a tree.” 

Brent had way too much fun mowing down the first fir. In fact, it didn’t survive the razor sharp saw he chucked at it, the tree bursting into a confetti of needles and wood chips that rained down on us, making me absolutely lose it as Dad just shook his head. “Oh god, this is payback for what I did to Reggie, isn’t it?” I heard him mutter to no one, running a hand over his face. 

The next tree, Dad stressed to Brent to try and properly judge the power he’d need. “You shouldn’t have figure out trajectory or anything, but you’re letting the powers obliterate stuff. Reel it in, alright?” 

Brent nodded, closing his eyes in thought before raising his arm, steel raising from it to trap it in its sleeve. He breathed once, holding the breath as if it’d help him aim, shreddings of steel rising from the layered steel on his arm to spin furiously around it. 

He drew his arm back and pushed forward, all of that steel exploding from his arm as it launched away, pulling into itself once it detached. It became this ramp of sorts, kinda like the steel edge of a hatchet, flying towards the base of the tree without wind to propel it and slicing clean through its trunk. The tree cried out some sort of crackly groan of protest before keeling over, falling to the ground in front of Brent. The curved slab continued its dive into the ground, imbedding itself in the snow with a hearty thunk. 

“There you go!” Dad said, clapping Brent on the shoulder. “We’ll even out the base when we get home. Now c’mon, help me pick it up,” 

No need; Dad only had to complain once about the prickly needles of the tree before Brent went full steel, hauling the tree up by its middle and carrying it like it was some lapdog forcing him to chauffeur it around, not a seven foot tall pine. 

We got back home after sunset, the dash on the truck only just passing 5 PM as Brent unloaded the tree with no issue. He got irrationally excited at the next part; building his own little tree stand from scratch. The side of the fridge was suddenly covered in expo marker as he did math for the size, measuring it out with a measuring tape he scored from the same junk drawer he found the marker in. I hadn’t seen him this excited to build something since the last gigantic Lego set Dad got him. 

“If I make this,” he began, cap of the marker between his teeth, “Y’think you can add something to it Jean?” 

“What like, decorate it?” 

Brent shrugged, finishing up a calculation before going, “Yeah,” 

I shook my head. “I don’t have any of my art supplies, and water isn’t that sort of power.”

“Keep it plain,” Dad interjected. “I have a better idea anyways.” 

Brent just shrugged again, going back to his math. 

He eventually made the tree stand, all that math apparently for an accompanying collar made out of a steel he somehow made look polished. Dad made us stop, finding something to pop in the oven for dinner and having us eat before saying, “Brent, come outside with me, we need to find something for you to drain. Jean, drain some water.” 

“Wh-, drain?” I glanced to Brent, who was already looking at Dad weird. “Why?” 

“You’ll see. Oh, and do the dishes while you’re there.” 

“Oh sure, pin the water chore on the water Conduit. Y’know, it feels like stereotyping,” 

“Jean. It’s three plates.” 

I hadn’t considered how hard draining might be; here, all I had to do was turn on the tap, but Dad and Brent had to rush off to find something. Or, at least, Brent did — I wasn’t sure which power Dad had right now. What if there was a situation where I couldn’t find water? Or Brent couldn’t find a good source of steel? Once we bled the power dry, was that really it? Could we not do anything else? 

They came back eventually, laughing at some shared joke I wasn’t privy to. “You good?” Dad asked me, and I nodded. “Good, okay. Let’s decorate the tree,” 

Brent caught on first. “Wait — like, with our powers?” 

Dad nodded. “Yeah, why not?” He turned, heading towards the tree in the corner and adding, “I don’t have anything else anyways, so,” 

It was…awkward, at first. Brent apparently didn’t know how to make a snowflake, which came out with a first attempt that looked as if a ninja star was run over by a train. Dad had to pull up pictures of snowflakes on his phone before Brent could attempt again, and even then, it still took a few times. “I don’t understand,” I began, “You want to create buildings but can’t even make a snowflake?” 

“Shut up,” he muttered, trying again. 

But he got it! And now that he did, he was confident enough to make a bunch of different shaped ones. Then came him and Dad geeking out, beginning their fandom ornaments of Death Stars and Pokémon and other show trinkets. 

Dorks. 

Dad had a giant pack of rubber bands he found in the master bedroom he used to begin hanging them up, Brent and I joining him. But where he had Brent stop with making ornaments wasn’t nearly enough to fill out the tree; it still looked absolutely sparse, like a Charlie Brown tree only somehow more disappointing. 

Then Dad turned to me, and said, “Your turn, Jeanie.” 

Apparently, I’d be creating the ball ornaments — only they’d be perfect little spheres of water, levitating against the tree. “Dad, I don’t know if I can make them stay,” I warned. 

“Usually they do, but if they don’t, we can just scrub the carpet dry,” he said, shrugging like it wasn’t a big deal. 

And I mean, I guess it wasn’t. 

So I let my arms slip into their water gauntlets, pushing the sleeves down into my hands and cutting it off from the rest, leaving a little pool levitating in my hands. “Like a snowball,” Brent offhandedly said somewhere on my right, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to roll my eyes or snort. 

He kinda had a point too, though; so I pushed the puddle in my hands together, not needing to touch it to force the water to follow my will and round out. “Now just place it somewhere on the tree, and let go,” Dad coached gently. 

I sort of pushed the orb of water towards the tree, knowing it’d at least stay levitating while I had control over it. It’s when I’d let go that I was worried about. But like Dad said, it isn’t a big deal, right? If it dropped, we’d just scrub it up out of the floor. Easy fix. 

I pushed the orb till it was flush against the tree but not being stabbed into by the needles, hanging in one of the open gaps the rows made. One hand came down, the gauntlet disappearing, and the orb jiggled like jello. “Easy…” Dad drew out. 

I stared at the water, finding a confidence deep within me. You will stay, I thought hard, hand tensing slightly like I was force choking the ball. It bubbled in response, some sort of garbled promise it’d listen, and I let go. 

The orb jiggled again with the sudden release of my control, but it didn’t fall. Stayed slowly spinning in on itself, bubbles rising up and giving it a foamy top. “I knew you could do it, Jean,” Dad said, eyes full of pride when I glanced at him. “Stick some more up there,” 

It became a game at some point, Brent moving to stand in front of the tree and dodging the little orbs I slung his way before pinning them in place around the tree. One hit him in the crotch and Dad and I laughed till we couldn’t breathe as Brent breathed through the pain. “Okay—“ he wheezed, standing from his doubled-over stance. “Okay, how about you two get changed into pajamas? I’ve gotta grab something.” 

Dad vanished into the master, Brent glaring at me with his wet lap. “You look like you pissed yourself,” I chuckled, walking away. He didn’t have much of a retort — just repeated my words mockingly. 

We changed, Brent taking a moment to move his stuff downstairs and leaving me the nursery — not that I was upset about that. I kinda didn’t want to leave it at all. We appeared in the hall at the same time just as a loud thunk sounded from Dad’s room, followed by a hearty crash. “Dad?” Brent called out.

There was no debating it — we were already headed to the door, Brent throwing it open with a little too much force. The room was still pitch black save for the light from the open door, illuminating a mountain of boxes that had tumbled on Dad, who was trying to balance a few in his arms. “I uh,” he began, corner of a box in his mouth, “I shouldn’t have done this without a flashlight,” 

“I’ll get your phone,” I said, rolling my eyes. 

We tried to reorganize the pile by the phone’s spotlight, Brent eventually muttering something about how this was stupid and going to try and find a lightbulb. Dad and I were in the middle of cardboard Jenga when Brent returned, saying, “I took it from that hall closet,” he jabbed his thumb over his shoulder. “The hall has a light already, there’s no need for it.” 

After another hilarious fifteen minutes of more box Tetris and Dad trying to balance me on his shoulders (“You can’t use your powers, electricity and water don’t mix,” Dad said), the bulb was in, Brent flipping the switch as Dad put me down. 

Now that the room was properly lit up, I could see beyond the boxes; there were dozens of little neon signs propped up against the wall or still bolted to it, hidden by the darkness the blackout curtains encouraged even during the day. “Were these for Mom?” Brent asked, looking at one of angel wings against a long dresser. 

Dad nodded. “Yeah, figured we needed to keep them around to drain. I let her decorate this room however she wanted and let me tell you,” he plugged in what looked like a custom one, ‘Fetch’ in pink cursive, “It looked like a nightclub in here.” 

He gave the light this meaningful look, somehow making me feel like I was intruding on a personal moment. Like he was saying goodbye to someone for the last time, or a hello to someone he hadn’t seen in eons. Y’know, if melancholy had a sibling that was constantly riddled with grief — that’d be what his face was right now. 

He looked down at his feet a moment, steadying his breathing. When he lifted his head again, his right hand came up too. 

And he reached out and drained the neon. 

The sound it made as the neon bled from the sign was weird, almost like the dying chirp of an electronic bird. The pink stretched out in bright ribbons to meet Dad, twisting around his arm in a glaring fury as if it missed him. It kissed his skin, seeping away, leaving Brent and I to stare at his arm as it fell to his side. Dad turned, a sad smile on his face. “Every tree needs lights, right?” 

We were much more placated when we followed Dad back into the living room, watching him as he pulled the tree away from the wall a bit more before he summoned the neon back, wisps of blue and pink just like in the nursery gathering into a tight ball in his hand and pulsating with power. It was so beautiful, so powerful. He pushed his hands in as if to tighten it a bit more before throwing the neon ball up in the air like he was tossing a tennis ball, the ball arching a bit before exploding. 

The little candle flames of pink and blue fell, gluing themselves to needle ends or dissolving in my water orbs. We didn’t move as they fell and stayed in place long after they settled, dead quiet in some sort of moment of silence. The tree had a soft glow to it, the pink and blue bouncing off of the water and steel ornaments and casting colorful reflections on the paneled walls. 

“I think that’s good,” Dad finally said, giving us a gentle smile. “It looks good.” 

Soon came the hardest part; Dad preparing to leave. We emptied out one of the duffle bags with its price tag still attached, and followed him into the room as he rooted through old clothes still hanging up in the closet, stiff and a little weird smelling. “You both can take anything from in here, too. I know you don’t have many clothes right now,” Dad said, shoving a shirt in the bag without giving it the respect of being folded. “They’re my old clothes or Reggie’s, so Jean, it’ll be huge on you.” 

“It’s okay,” I shrugged, already zeroing in on a nice blue flannel to steal. “I like oversized sweaters,”

We meandered back to the living room and watched him gather things, pull on his skin-saving layers and trade out the leather coat for a way comfier looking light gray hoodie. He hesitated after that, looking at the jean vest laid on the arm of the couch before reaching out to grab it, lifting it up and contemplating it a moment longer before pulling it on. 

Dad shuffled the layerings around, pulling the hood out from under the vest and facing us again. “How do I look?” He asked, a bit offhandedly, a bit like he was genuinely worried about his appearance. 

I felt like an idiot; how did I never see it before? Were the monkey suits pulling the wool over my eyes that well, or was I just blind? Because with the gray beanie and vest, all casual wear — it was him. Older, wiser, a bit more wrinkled. But there was no doubt in my mind. “Like Delsin Rowe,” I breathed, the actual reality of it all smacking me in the face. 

The streetlights barely illuminated the driveway, all the light that made our faces disconcernable from the dark being the blue lights from the dash. “Okay, you have to be up early tomorrow, you still have those make-up exams,” Dad reminded us, shoving the duffle bag in the back. “Betty’s gonna be here at eight to pick you up. I talked to her about this already, and after she picks you up from the school, she’s gonna take you two to get phones. Jean?” 

“Yeah?”

“Please don’t drown them this time.”

“Sure,” I jabbed my thumb towards Brent. “So long as He-Man doesn’t send his to the moon the next time his football team loses.” 

“Who the hell is He-Man?” Brent asked.

“I’m gonna call as soon as I can. I just ask that you two be careful with who you talk to — there’s no use in hiding but you need to be cautious. Stick to people you already know. Brent, do not contact Tommy. I know you; it’s not worth cursing him out right now.” 

Brent rolled his eyes. “Fine.” 

Dad opened the driver’s door, turning to face us fully. “And stay safe. I’ll be back late Tuesday, okay?” 

I was on Dad first, practically jumping into him to pull him into a tight hug, Dad chuckling a moment before squeezing me right back. “Be careful Dad,” I said, voice muddled by the jean jacket pressing into my mouth. 

“I will be,” he promised. “I’ve done more dangerous stuff than this,” 

I let him go, Brent taking my place almost instantly. They did that weird thing guys do when they hug where they instinctively clap a hand on the other’s back in some sort of show of affection. They parted, Brent coming to stand at my side, and Dad just…looked at us. “I’m proud of you two,” he said, giving us a half smile. “I’ll call you later, okay? I love you.” 

And then he got in the truck…and was gone. 

Every time Dad left…we knew it came with a bit of danger, his job. Bomb threats were the worst of it, but he’s definitely been assaulted a few times by rowdy protesters, or received death threats online. But this felt so different. Different enough that Brent and I didn’t move well after Dad’s truck lights were eaten up by snow, stuck in place by the reality of what was happening. What was going to come. Tomorrow, Delsin Rowe would be back, and who knew what type of bullshit it would bring. 

“C’mon, let’s go inside,” Brent muttered beside me, the first to move. 

I stayed a few seconds longer, looking back towards where Dad disappeared. Yeah, Pandora's box would be opened tomorrow, and I knew things would never be the same. But y’know what? I was also so happy for Dad. He wouldn’t have to keep hiding behind a false name and made-up memories. He wouldn’t have to pull away from getting too involved in fear of risking Brent and I, especially now that if push came to shove, we could protect ourselves. He didn’t have to go back, but he wanted to — and that was heroic. 

“I'm proud of you too, Dad,” I whispered towards Portland, ready for everything to change. No matter what, he’d be there, and we could take on whatever life would throw. 

[mae-dwrites]

Taking Flight - Chapter 10 - Ikari Gozen

| Masterlist | Previous | Next |

| Ao3 | Wattpad |

Kagami Tsurgi for the majority of her life was alone. Her mother for some reason insisted that she does not need anyone, and that friends would be who would hold her down the most. Kagami wasn’t fully isolated of course, her mother would bring her to important events and meetings, she would spend her time with tutors or at tournaments.

Much like at the beginning of the week, her mother had her date with Adrien canceled so Kagami could join her in a sudden meeting. Unlike Adrien, Kagami was more emersed in her mother’s company and the workings of it. She had been raised in her mother’s technology industry, across the Americas and Japan. At the beginning of the year, her mother had decided they would head to Europe as they weren’t as expanded in that area of the world.

For some reason her mother had decided that they would start in Paris, France of all places. She had said it was to ensure her connection in the country, to remind her business partners she was not someone to underestimate. At least that’s what her mother relaid to her.

Kagami knew she couldn’t underestimate her mother either. Underestimating is far worse than overestimating, you mustn’t think lower of yourself but you also mustn’t treat any obstacle any less than yourself. Fighting head-on, being tactical, without anyone to hold you down. At least that’s what she had been taught, that no matter what others would hold her down. She held that teaching close, she hadn’t been trained and taught for no reason.

But she couldn’t help but disagree with her mother and her tutor's teachings.

She had seen people work together and make it work, and she had seen some shows and movies. While they may be fictional they must hold some truth, some truth of their world, of how humans work. Which is why it’s 100% okay that she just recorded her mother’s voice, because she is young. Young people make mistakes all the time, her mother had said so herself!

With her two-hour timer set, she murmured to herself, “Let’s play.”

With one turn of a handle, I can raise the level. Read the message, Kagami scoffed as the riddle wasn’t even hard, “Child’s play. Tatsu, take me to Canal Saint-Martin.”

“Voice recognition failed,” Tatsu recited. Kagami frowned, it was worth a shot, good thing she is smarter than Mother thinks.

“Tatsu-”

“Take me to Canal Saint-Martin,” Kagami finished the command.

“Hai, Tsurugisan,” Tatsu said before changing course.

-•-

“Oh no,” Marinette’s voice on the verge of a whimper as she looked up at the bridge.

"What is it Marinette?" Tikki's voice squeaked. "An Akuma?"

"No," Marinette swallows. "Worse, so much worse." Marinette's voice became strangled, she sits down on the bench behind her for a moment. Taking deep breaths.

"Well, what is it then Marinette?" Tikki asks fighting the urge to fly out of Marinette's bag.

"It's Kagami, she can't be my new friend. Nope," Marinette suddenly gets up, pacing in front of the bench. "Just no. There's no way she can be my new friend. She's brilliant, strong, cute! Oh my gosh, this can't be happening."

"And what does that have to do with the game?"

"She's Adrien's girlfriend! They know each other very well from what Adrien has said, he talks about all of us to her! I'll embarrass myself in front of her and then she'll tell Adrien how weird I am and their parents how unsuitable I am as a friend for Adrien. Then M. Agreste will ban me from being his friend and blacklist me so I never work in fashion ever," Marinette was left breathless and she dropped down to the ground and held her head in her hands.

"This can't happen. We can't be partners!" Marinette whined.

•

Kagami stood on the bridge, watching from afar. She recognized the girl, from fencing practice and pictures Adrien had shown her of the panicky girl and talked about her. She was quite...strange in person. She paced back and forth in front of a bench she had previously sat on.

"She's so weird," Kagami spoke out with a confused frown. The girl squat down and put her head in her hands, "Well fate has put her in my path. I wanted to make friends, she just so happened to be Adrien's most cherished friend."

Kagami took a deep breath before her lips formed a thin line, "If I don't succeed with Adrien's quirky friend our relationship with become strained or worse end." Kagami looked at the girl again before performing a sure nod, "He did say she becomes very nervous around people. So I shall wait here until she is ready for interaction."

•

Tikki frowned at her bug, she carefully floated out of Marinette's bag. She put herself above her legs but right under her face.

"Marinette that isn't fair to Kagami. You barely know her, you should give her a chance. Not to mention she can't complete the game without you!"

"She could probably complete it on her own somehow. She's so smart, I'd just slow her down I bet," Marinette mopped with her hands on her forehead. Then her eyes widened at an idea before she cringed, "Oh Kwami no. That's terrible, we know better than that Marinette."

Tikki frowned in confusion as the girl spoke to herself, "What is Marinette?"

"I just," Marinette worried on her lip. "I had a thought, that if I went with her I could slow her down, and then Adrien wouldn't fall more in love with her than he probably already is. But it's terrible, I'm dating Luka!"

Marinette groaned with tightly shut eyes and faced the sky, "I'm a terrible friend and girlfriend."

"You know it's wrong, right?" Tikki asked.

Marinette looked back down at Tikki, "Well of course I do."

"Are you planning on acting on it?" Tikki pressed.

"No-no! It's a terrible idea, especially to do. Even if I wanted to," Marinette looked down at her Kwami in horror.

"Then you're not a bad person Marinette. You recognize it's a bad idea, and you don't plan on acting on it. Also, it's just that, an idea, a thought. It doesn't necessarily mean you're terrible," Tikki explained. Marinette looked away before a smile came on her face and she nodded.

"You're right, it's just a thought, not a plan. It doesn't mean I have to do it," Marinette stood up with determination and Tikki zipped into her purse again. She nodded to Tikki before running up the bridge to finally see Kagami.

“Hey um, hi uh, sorry for making you wait!” Marinette smiled at Kagami. “Sorry for keeping you waiting. This is amazing that we were paired for this, has to be fate.” Marinette let out a nervous laugh at the end.

“You didn’t look very pleased to see me, but I’m assuming it was your anxieties. Adrien has mentioned that you’re usually nervous a majority of the time and that you have anxiety.” Kagami stated as she looked Marinette over with an analytical eye.

Marinette shifted under the Japanese girl’s gaze, “I, um…uh, sorry, I mean I-” Kagami’s eyes widened panic coming upon her, she must be making the girl uncomfortable. Their phones dinged but that wasn’t important right now. She must secure their further mutualness, otherwise, this would have all been for nothing.

“Do not worry I forgive you. I know that not all feelings or actions can be completely controlled, so I do not hold it against you. I do not wish to make you uncomfortable, if I do please tell me.” Kagami expressed with a bow.

Marinette blinked before her face became warm, “Oh. Oh-oh, thank you. I will let you know if you make me uncomfortable. I really appreciate that.” Marinette gave a small smile, it made Kagami hold herself taller. Wasn’t a perfect start, but a success nonetheless. “And! And I mean, uh, the same goes for you.” Marinette’s smile never faltered, Kagami nodded to her in affirmation.

“Now onto the game,” Kagami redirected them. “To get closer to your goal-”

“You must explore further and deeper,” Marinette finished out loud. Marinette gasped and at the same time they spoke, “The banks of the Seine.” Marinette more with excitement and Kagami softly as if speaking to herself. They made eye contact, Marinette giggled while Kagami gave a small smile.

“That must be where our next clue is,” Marinette said.

“We'll probably have to fish for our new clue. Let’s hurry if we want to win.” Kagami nodded at Marinette.

•

Marinette didn’t want to be rude and just message her best friend in front of Kagami. This was supposed to be about the two of them becoming friends, that was one of the whole points of this activity.

Marinette opened the video message Alya had sent to her.

“Hey girl! I sure hope your partner's as cool as mine; meet Wayhem! You'd better hurry up if you wanna get to Adrien before we do, 'cause we've already solved our first riddle!” Alya bragged white showing Wayhem in the frame the entire time. He grinned behind Alya with a peace sign.

Marinette sighed before pressing record, “Hey Alya! My partner is Kagami, I can’t believe it. I’m super nervous about this, because you know, she’s Adrien’s girlfriend. I’m scared I’ll do something wrong and she’ll tell Adrien and I won’t be his friend anymore. Anyway, go for it! From what I can tell Kagami wouldn’t like it if she was just handed the win, also I really don’t want to third wheel them if we win, so give it your all.”

Marinette replayed it, she frowned. Maybe I should send something else.

“That seems fine Marinette,” Tikki said from her bag. Marinette looked down at her little friend, Tikki gave a comforting squeeze. Marinette smiled and pressed send, she didn’t like lairs or lying. She tried to avoid it so why lie about how she felt? Well she did it a lot but this was different, this was Alya.

“Marinette?” Kagami called for her from Pont des Arts.

“I’m here! Sorry, just needed a moment.” Marinette rubbed the back of her neck with a nervous laugh.

Kagami studied her for a moment, she frowned as she watched her rub her neck. Perhaps she was too intimidating to Marinette, how can she make this better? She wants her to be comfortable, relaxed with her. Maybe there was nothing she could do, but she could try. No, there was no try, only dos. She will do everything she can to get Marinette to be comfortable with her. A Tsurugi is always sure, and always does perfect.

“Well I am glad you’re better now,” Kagami internally winced at the structure of her sentence. That sounds insensitive. “We were right, there is a fishing rod with a magnet attached to it. Do you know how to fish effectively?”

Marinette seemed to perk up, “Yes! I’ve gone fishing with extended family before. Might not be perfect, I certainly wasn’t the best but I should be good enough!”

“Okay then you fish,” Kagami put the fishing rod in Marinette’s face. Marinette blinked before taking the rod from her. Too close, Kagami scolded herself.

Some seconds went by as Marinette reeled in items and Kagami inspected them. This won’t do, she wants to make friends so she needs to practice. According to Adrien, Marinette was great at becoming friends with people. She’s the perfect person to practice on even if she would already become her friend despite her errors.

Kagami opened her phone discreetly and opened her extra app. Kagami tensed as it made an opening the app sound. Marinette glanced at her as she reeled in another item, a whistle.

“Probably not the clue,” Kagami took it in her free hand and tossed it in the cardboard box. Marinette returned to fishing, if they weren’t right next to each other Kagami would have sighed in relief. She tapped the “Interesting Get To Know Questions” folder.

Question 1: Do you prefer to be called by your whole name, or a nickname?

Simple enough, she thought to herself.

“Do you prefer to be called by your whole name, or a nickname?” Kagami asked Marinette. When Marinette gave her a weird look she showed her a quick and, if Kagami was honest, an uncomfortable smile.

“Uh– by… my… whole name…?” Marinette didn’t look or sound sure whatsoever, she pulled in a rusty pan. Kagami tried not to frown at Marinette, but she did frown at the pan. She took it and tossed it in the box.

“Thank you, Marinette.” Kagami almost bows but stops herself, she doesn’t need to do this continuously. It’s for gratitude, but outside of Japan, it might be weird to the Parisian native. But she could compliment her! Compliments are great for “breaking the ice” as they refer to awkward tension. “Uh– Your hair is… very shiny.”

“Ehm… thank you…? Your hair is not… too bad, either…” They both smile awkwardly at each other. Kagami holds in a sigh, this isn’t going as smoothly as she wanted it to. She looks down at her phone and goes to the “Topic Suggestion” folder. She skims through them as fast as she can and spots two.

Topic 23: Something culturally or modernly significant to your homes.

Topic 28: What are your blood types?

“What is your blood type?” Kagami tries to smile again. It still feels weird, perhaps she needs to widen her smile? Like when she’s going against a lightweight opponent. Of which Marinette could be categorized as if she were in fencing.

“My blood type? I don't… know… Are you messing with me?” Marinette’s voice sounded so anxious and confused. No, this is not good. We need calm, we need smooth conversing with each other.

“No, not at all. Everyone in Japan knows their blood type. It tells you who you are. Mine is O, which means I'm independent, optimistic, strong-willed, and intuitive.” Kagami didn’t feel like all of that was actually true, she didn’t feel like an optimistic person. She truly was more of a realist. Kagami looked at her phone again, this wasn’t going well.

Topic 32: Seasons

Of course!

“What’s your favorite season?” Kagami smiled at Marinette. This smile still felt off. Was she doing it right?

“Summer, 'cause it's nice and hot. Or spring,” Marinette gasped, “'cause that's when nature awakens. Or maybe the fall; the colors are so gorgeous that time of the year. But then again; winter inspires me so much.” Marinette smiled with pure joy.

Kagami frowned, “You're indecisive, scatterbrained, irresponsible. You have a split personality: typical AB.” Her eyes widened, that must have been rude. Kagami quickly smiled before looking at her phone again, she switched to “Their Character” folder.

“Let's say you found out about some special chocolate ice cream; you really want to try it, but someone else gets there first. Do you, A, steal it from them? B, get another type of chocolate ice cream, even if it's not as good? Or, C, never eat chocolate ice cream ever again?” Kagami gave a strained smile after she finished stating the question. This didn’t feel like a good conversation if she was being honest.

“Uh– I guess I'd try another flavor?” Marinette said. That was actually a great answer, not any she had listed though, not really at least. Kagami hummed as she thought about the answer, it certainly solved the problem without any lasting negative impacts. Kagami looked down at her phone- No. She doesn’t need to rely on this app she can do this herself, and she’s read enough and knows enough of these questions to continue on.

Kagami faced Marinette as she reeled in something else, “Would you like to get some orange juice with me?”

Marinette’s eyes widened in excitement, “Yeah! Sure, it'd be a lot more fun than this boring treasure hunt.” Marinette admitted with her face becoming a little red with embarrassment. She brought the item over the railing to Kagami.

“It’s the clue! You’ve done a great job Marinette,” Kagami said with a light smile and gave Marinette an (awkward) pat on the back. “Congratulations. First, we win, then we get orange juice to celebrate.”

Marinette's smile widened with excitement as they got to figuring out their clue.

-•-

Marinette was exhausted from running with Kagami, despite being Ladybug. Speaking of which she was surprised no one had been Akumatized today, someone might after they don’t win, there was no doubt about it. But they were so close to finishing, Marinette just knew it. Alya hadn’t messaged her since she sent her video. She could have been preparing what to say, but Alya was just as impulsive as Marinette. And if she wasn’t writing it down, Alya’s filter went out the window.

Kagami pulled up her phone and read aloud their next instructions, “Trust challenge: Exchange unlocked phones. Separate and take a selfie in front of different monuments using each other's phones. Then regroup and take a selfie together like the true friends you've become. Once we've received the selfies, we'll send you a final text revealing where Adrien Agreste is hiding.”

Kagami extended her phone out to Marinette in full confidence her other hand laid outstretched for Marinette’s, but Alya hadn’t responded to her yet. To her message or updated her on her progress. Marinette looked between her phone and Kagami’s hand.

Oh what the heck, it’ll only take a few minutes.

Marinette finally hands over her open phone to Kagami.

“You really are an indecisive girl,” Kagami states. “We'll meet back here; we're going to win!” Kagami declared before running off.

Marinette honestly didn’t care about winning or losing now, she really did enjoy hanging out with the girl even with their weird and awkward moments. They made it work even with the struggles.

Marinette sighed and looked down at Kagami’s phone. That was strange, her home screen didn’t have any app and she had a plain background. Marinette swiped down, her lock screen was also blank and she had a timer going. 45:38. Marinette swiped side to side, finding a folder of utilities, default apps. The bottom had the calling and messaging app. Marinette swiped to the right again to find one app, MakeFriendzEazy.

“Huh,” Marinette looked at it and bit her lip. This was not helping her phone holding track record. She felt Tikki push against her leg but ignored her. She opened the app, and it had folders, icebreakers, topics, advice, and much more.

“Oh,” the word came out of her mouth quietly. Marinette exited the app and tapped the messages app to find only messages from the contest. She left that one as Tikki flew out and glared at her.

“Marinette she put her trust in you giving you her phone. And you’re snooping,” the Kwami scolded her.

“She kept looking at her phone while we were playing, and her phone is so empty. Tikki look, she has a tip app for making friends,” Marinette said showing her. Marinette looked at the phone again, she frowned at it and tapped the calling app. She gasped, “She only has her mom. Not even Adrien, and that’s her boyfriend.”

Tikki looked at the screen with a matching frown, “She just wants friends. She was trying to be your friend Marinette.”

“And I snuck through her phone,” Marinette whined. “I’m a terrible friend, we’re probably not even going to be friends after this. Oh no,” Marinette straightened up.

“What?”

“Alya could reply at any moment! And if she does while Kagami has my phone then she might see her reply or my message. I need to hurry.” Marinette takes off running.

•

Kagami frowns at the photo she took, she doesn’t like her smile. It looks too forced, her last smiles at Marinette didn’t hurt her face like this one or her ones from earlier. Maybe she should just pretend Marinette is with her, yeah that might work.

As Kagami tries to retake the photo but a message pops up, and for some reason takes up a lot of the screen. She tries to swipe it away but it won’t go, she huffs in frustration. She tries to swipe it away again only for her to accidentally press it, and the message starts to play. A deeply tanned-skinned girl with auburn hair takes up the screen.

"Hey girl! Sorry, I've been running around with Wayhem. Also, I'm sorry you're stuck with Kagami, we're almost done so you might not have the third wheel her and Adrien. Just hang in there and I'll catch you later!"

Kagami’s heart drops to her stomach. She clenches her fist before taking a deep breath, she wouldn’t be the Akuma of the day. She was better than this, and maybe her mother was right. She didn’t need friends, she blinks back tears. Instead of trying to perfect her smile, she took a selfie with a blank expression, it’s no use if she was only seen as a nuisance.

•

Marinette sprints to where they had last been together at and waves at Kagami. Marinette opens her mouth to speak but Kagami speaks first.

“ I guess I'm not worthy of our friendship; our blood types must be too incompatible,” Kagami avoids looking Marinette in the eyes.

Marinette opened her mouth again but Kagami’s phone started to ring, Kagami reached out for it but Marinette answered it instead of handing it over to her.

“Hello?”

“Kagami, where are you? You were supposed to wait for me at home,” Tomoe Tsurgi’s commanding voice came through. Kagami could even hear her mother, she was very upset. Kagami shook her head at Marinette but Marinette wasn’t looking at her but more over her as she decided to respond, “Hello ma'am, I'm not Kagami, actually.”

“Who are you?! Where's my daughter?!” Kagami’s eyes widened at her mother's voice, she tried to gestured for Marinette to hand her phone but Marinette put a hand up to Kagami and straightened her back.

“Kagami? I'm a friend of Kagami's, I'm right here with her. I'll put her on the phone if you would like,” though Marinette didn’t have any intent to. As she was more curious as about this woman, Kagami was obviously restricted, just on different levels than Adrien.

“Kagami doesn't have any friends. Why do you have her phone?” Marinette frowned at this, is this really how she treats her daughter? Just like Gabriel, how many other kids were stuck like this? This wasn’t fair to isolate your child in any form, all it does is leave them stunted in so many areas. Why hasn’t someone done anything about this!

“Oh, I can assure you, I am Kagami's friend. I am also Adrien's friend, and we are all participating in a game about friendship. Where making new friends is the main goal but I digress.” Marinette stated with a scowl on her face.

Kagami stopped trying to get her phone and looked at Marinette. Maybe she had misunderstood, it was only one half of the conversation, simply Marinette’s friend responding to her. Marinette’s friend in the video may have different views of Kagami than Marinette does.

“A game?! But I forbade her to!” Tomoe shouted.

Marinette’s eyes widened, she didn’t want Kagami to be in so much trouble. But… lies. Marinette internally sighed, lies, lies, and more lies. When does she get to stop lying?

“Did I say game? Oh no, I meant a grab… to grab– to grab some orange juice. I invited Kagami over to grab some orange juice with me. She'll be back home soon, I promise,” Marinette stated covering over her mistake. Kagami smiled at Marinette. Marinette smiled back at Kagami as she continued, “I'll even walk her home myself, as I am her friend.”

“Stop fooling around, young lady, and put my daughter through. As I stated before she does not have friends and I can assure you she will not be enjoying any glasses of–”

Marinette frowned, what kind of mother was she? She was just as bad as Gabriel had to be.

“Ma'am, please don't punish your daughter. Ma'am? Hello?” Marinette’s frows came down.

“With pleasure, Hawk Moth.”

Marinette felt a chill go through her, No. She looked at Kagami as the call ended and grabbed her by the shoulders.

“I’m so sorry Kagami, I shouldn’t have done that! I tried to smooth things over with her but now she’s Akumatized! You need to go hide!” Marinette said in a rush. Behind them a thud went off and the ground shook, they lost their footing. Each shake worse than the last, Marinette fell down. Kagami tried to help her up but the source of the earthquakes came next to them.

“Kagami! You disobeyed me! You will never go out again!” The Akumatized Tomoe Tsurgi grabbed Kagami and dropped her down her mouth. Kagami’s screams could be heard until she closed her giant mouth.

Marinette’s eyes welled with tears, “This is all my fault. Oh no, Kagami, Kagami is stuck in her mom. I caused this.”

Tikki cut her off, “It's never too late to make things right, Marinette.”

“Yea-yeah,” Marinette’s voice cracked, she sniffed. Now wasn’t the time to cry, she couldn’t be Marinette. Kagami needed Ladybug, the city needs its’ hero, “Spots on.”

Soon Chat Noir showed up when Tomoe makes her big declaration, “You'll never catch me! I'm lkari Gozen. As elusive as the wind, as powerful as the flood, as swift as lightning! Try as you might, but your jewels will be mine!”

Ladybug got thrown into a tree before falling out of it. She put her hand on her back and she stretched, because surely that wasn't gonna be a pain later. She groaned as Chat made his way to her.

“I see you've already made a new buddy for friendship day, m'lady.” Chat Noir teased leaning against his staff.

“Yeah, no, I don't think she likes me all that much.” the red and black heroine frowned at her partner. She straightened up and faced Ikari Gozen, “We're coming, Kagami.”

Chat’s blood ran cold, he looked over at the Akuma, “Kagami?”

“Our new friend here has imprisoned her own daughter as a punishment,” bitterness dripped from her voice. She clenched her yo-yo, she was really getting sick of all these rich parents and locking their kids away. “Lucky Charm.”

Came down was a plastic-looking sword, but the cross guard looked of that as a dragon head breathing fire molded into a blade. It reminded Ladybug of that one show Chris loved to watch when she babysat him. The pommel had symbols, that of a lightning bolt, water, and what she could assume was air. Ladybug’s eyes widened, Of course, thank you Tikki!

“I don't think that thing will do us any good, she doesn't seem the type to play,” Chat said with a perplexed look at the item.

“Oh trust me Chaton this toy isn't for anyone, but I do have an idea for a new playmate,” Ladybug smirked at him. Chat looked at her, her eyes didn't hold the same confidence as her stance. She was unsure, she wanted him to tell her it was okay, they had a mission and they do need help.

Chat Noir nodded, “I’ve always wanted someone to properly spar my staff with.”

Oh the way her whole being seemed to light up made Chat Noir feel warm before she swung off to get help. Chat shook his head before looking at Ikari Gozen, “Time to keep you in one place.”

Chat extended himself onto a rooftop yelling at Ikari Gozen, while a few buildings off from where they had been together Ladybug hid in an alleyway and destransformed. The Lucky Charm disappeared along with her transformation, it was so weird that the hinting for help Lucky Charms went away, well they usually did.

Marinette gave Tikki a cookie, “I guess it’s time for a new trick.” Marinette gave Tikki a nervous smile.

“I’m sure it’ll work just fine, like when you were giving the papers out. Except focus on which specific thing you want to come through.” Tikki said finishing her cookie. Marinette nodded, “Focus.”

She called the transformation back on and grabbed her yo-yo and opened it. “Focus,” she murmured to herself before reaching in. She pulled out a choker necklace, and she gasped before letting out a squeal and dancing in a circle. “I did it, I did it, I did it!”

Ladybug stopped dancing and took a deep breath, now time to get themselves a dragon. She swung herself back over to the scene, Chat fighting Ikari Gozen.

“I know what’s like to be put in a cat kennel, it’s not pleasant!” Chat Noir yelled just before Ikari Gozen flung him down the street.

Ladybug winced as Chat landed in the street, his suit making it so there was a sizable and fairly noticeable strip of blacktop missing. That was gonna hurt later, Ladybug vaguely thought as she ran across rooftops before swinging down to Chat.

“I guess cats really don’t land on their feet,” Ladybug raised an eyebrow at her partner. Chat Noir rolled his eyes before noticing Ladybug’s neck.

“Where’s our friend?”

“Oh she’s here, we just need to get her present. After all, friends give each other presents. So, Luck Charm!”

Came down was a box of bath bombs, both the heroes gave it a look of confusion.

“A box of bath bombs,” it was Chat’s turn to raise an eyebrow at his partner. Ladybug ignored him and looked around, Ikari Gozen was headed for them, taking her time it seemed as if neither hero was moving. Ladybug caught saught of a scooter's storage compartment, Chat Noir, and the bath bombs.

“Oh you’ve got a plan don’t you?” Chat Noir asked looking at her, “You’ve got that glint in your eye.”

“Yes I do,” Ladybug grabbed the scooter storage compartment. “Longg come out.”

Longg floated from hiding behind Ladybug. “Yes Guardian,” the dragon Kwami bowed.

Ladybug explained the plan quickly, before taking off the choker and handing the compartment to Chat Noir. They nodded to each other. Chat successfully got the thing down Ikari Gozen’s mouth.

“Great job chaton, now we wait for Longg to explain the plan to her and we defeat the Akuma. I hope it works.”

“I’m sure it will, you’ve never failed Buggaboo,” Chat Noir winked at her. But right after he said that Ikari Gozen took steps back almost falling, and went into a coughing fit, what looked to be steam coming out. A dragon-themed hero, who of which could be Kagami, materialized in front of them.

“See, Mother? I can be as elusive as the wind!” Kagami held herself high, she glared at Ikari Gozen. Kagami turned to face the duo behind her, “Thank you for the Miraculous, Ladybug. Nice to meet you, Cat Noir. I am Ryuko.”

Both heroes eyes widened at Kag- Ryuko.

“What are you doing? This wasn't the plan!” Ladybug cried. She only had four minutes left now, Kagami had used Wind. Kagami is very independent, her mother had raised her as such, and that was very clear. Ladybug swallowed and took control of her breathing, she needs to remain calm they can still do this.

“What plan?” Was all Ryuko said.

This can’t be happening. It just can’t be.

“Kagami! You've disobeyed me yet again! First for that stupid game for friends, and then this time with the complicity of these so-called heroes.” Ikari Gozen growled, “You will learn your lesson!”

She brought her bokken up and brought it down on the heroes. All of the heroes jumped out of the way, the bokken crushed through the concrete. Ikari Gozen cried out in frustration.

“Ryuko, the plan! Surely Longg must have told you about the plan?!” Ladybug yelled from across the street.

Ryuko ignored Ladybug instead taking to confronting her mother, “What’s so wrong with having friends!”

“They ask but don’t return,” Ikari Gozen swiped her bokken at Chat Noir clasping the top of a building. “The moment you don’t benefit them they leave!” She yelled as she brought her weapon down the building Ryuko stood on. Chat Noir jumped on top of her as she yelled, “Friends abandon you! They all leave, they will leave you, just like they left me after the crash.”

She reached back and grabbed Chat Noir and held him up, “They left me when I needed them, left me to raise an infant blind!”

“What,” Ryuko’s stance faltered, her voice barely audible.

Ikari Gozen shoved Chat Noir down her throat, both of the heroines cried, “No!”

Chat fell into a seat, and a seat belt clicked in place, “No siree, Cataclysm!” He eroded the seat belt only for many more seat belts to grab and hold him down, “No, no, no. Not again.”

Outside Ryuko and Ladybug hid from Ikari Gozen.

Ryuko bowed her head in shame, “My apologies Ladybug, I acted hastily and failed you. I am not worthy to fight beside you.”

Ladybug lifted Ryuko’s face so she was looking at her, “You made a mistake, or act before we think. I do that every day in and out of the mask, it has cost me a lot on both sides, but that isn’t a reason to stop fighting.” Ryuko stared at Ladybug in awe, she was far more astonishing in person.

“You’re the only one who can help me right now, you have the skill. It’s the reason I choose you, and why I have given you the tools to help me. But we need to work together, as a team and we don’t have much time so here's the plan.”

•

Chat Noir fought against his restraints but it was no use, his chest went in and out heavily. He looked up, “Hurry up before I transform back.”

The Universe must have taken pity on him because no sooner than a second later did Ryuko dropdown.

“Thank Kwami!”

“Hold your breath, and aim for bokken,” Ryuko reached down for the box of bath bombs.

“You're a fast learner,” Chat Noir grinned, trying his best to hide his nervousness.

“I’ve had many great teachers,” she admitted with a small smile before calling for water. Chat did as he was told, holding his breath and when they made it out, reached for the bokken. Ladybug wrapped her yo-yo around it and yanked, breaking the item, an Akuma floating out.

“No more evil-doing for you!” Ladybug captured it before turning to Ryuko who handed her what was left of her Lucky Charm, the box. She tossed it up, calling for her cure.

“What's happened to me? Where is Kagami?” Tomoe asked moving her bokken around in front of her.

“Your daughter is nearby, ma'am. She'll be here soon.” Ryuko said after she put a hand on the woman's shoulder, “Your car is to your right.”

“Thank you,” Tomoe said stiffly before turning to her car and stepping in.

Ryuko turned to see Chat Noir and Ladybug with their fists facing each other but also her way, leaving a space for her. Her stomach welled and twirled with warmth, Ryuko smiled and added her fist and in unison, “Pound it!”

•

“Thank you for waiting a moment Kagami,” Ladybug started upon landing, “I hope you understand I can not give you this Miraculous again.”

“I understand, I was an inadequate team member.” Kagami hung her head.

“Actually you were quite the opposite,” Ladybug said, Kagami looked at her with confusion. “You fought well and hard, but the reason I can't give you this Miraculous again is because Hawkmoth knows your identity. He can see and hear through the person he has Akumatized, and with that it means not only are you but your friends and family are put in danger.”

Kagami thought about that, it makes sense, complete sense, no wonder Ladybug was in so much distress. Kagami frowned, “I don't have many friends.”

“Well it's not important to have lots of friends, what matters are the ones you do have are true friends. Thank you for your help, bug out,” and with that Ladybug left Kagami.

Kagami finally left the alley and made her way to her mother’s car, oh was she gonna get an earful. The right back passenger door was open, with her mother waiting. Kagami took a deep breath.

“Well? What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I'm sorry I wasn't truthful with you, Mother. But, I really wanted to try and make a friend.” Kagami admitted truthfully.

“You already have Adrien,” Tomoe said after a pause.

“It's not the same,” Kagami looked away, disputing her mother being blind, not even having her. But those words held true, Adrien had been her friend and now they were dating.

“I understand that you want to make friends, but friendships can prove disappointing sometimes. If not, a distraction can be a reliability, and you may be stretched by them.” Tomoe at the beginning sounding firm but slowly trailed to a person mourning. Tomoe sighed after a moment, “Be home in time for dinner. Tatsu, take me home.”

“Hai, Tsurugisan,” Tatsu said closing the door and rolling off.

•

Kagami walked up the bridge, her stomach tight.

“The game is over. We lost.'' She couldn't look Marinette in the eyes as she showed her a photo of Alya and Wayhem with the weather girls, Adrien, and Adrien’s bodyguard.

“No,” Marinette started firmly. “We won the right to get orange juice together,” she said with confidence before closing in on herself again. “If you still want to, that is. Nothing can stop us now.” Marinette gave Kagami a timid smile. Kagami looked at the girl in awe, her lips slightly parted.

“I'm correct, I misjudged you Marinette. I'm glad we somehow got paired, I see now why Adrien regards you as one of his dearest friends,” Kagami gave a light smile at Marinette. “And yes, I would still like to join you for orange juice. I just have to be home in time for dinner.”

Marinette lit up, her already big eyes widening with a dazzling smile to go with. Marinette hooked her arm around Kagami’s and started talking with an animated face.

Yes, Kagami had made the right choice, even if she didn't win. She got herself her first real friend.

-

September 28, 2019

[kimmimaru]

This is a ridiculous and rambling, nonsensical post and I’m sorry for it, but I have a lot of stupid late night thoughts I need to write down just to stop it from circling my head. So I’m sticking it on my blog. It’s under a cut so it doesn’t burden anyone’s dash. No joke, little of this makes any sense, it’s essentially just there for my own purposes but obviously if you really want to read you can, just don’t expect to understand it, because I don’t lol.

I am still awake at 3am. Mostly can’t sleep because my brain is torturing me, won’t shut the fuck up. So I’m here, on tumblr, making it worse.  I am having bad times obsessing over my own artistic talents and wondering what the fuck I’m going to do because I feel weirdly restless, like there’s something I should be doing but I can’t work out HOW. Like I need to get my fucking life together. I know there’s no time-limit but I dunno...I’m feeling more and more like there IS and it’s weird and unsettling.  When I was a kid literally the only thing I wanted to do when I grew up (other than become a Jedi) was draw or paint. Arty things are the only things I’m even remotely good at. But I can’t sell anything I make, no matter what I do. So my brain goes; well, you’re just not good enough! And I know I’m good, I just think maybe I’m not good ENOUGH. Which is annoying because what the fuck even IS good enough? I enter competitions and my work doesn’t even get displayed, I don’t care much about winning, but it would have been nice if people could have seen the fucking work. But nope.  I’m 35 and the only perfect thing I’ve ever ‘made’ is my daughter (yes, ok she’s not perfect to everyone but she is to ME). I just wish I could give her more. Having lost my mum (nearly a year ago now) it started dawning on me that I need to leave her something, I don’t want to leave her with nothing but burdens. I know, my mother didn’t mean to, she had plans and stuff but it happened and now my siblings and I are struggling to get shit done and it’s weighing everyone down. And the same thing will happen to my daughter as well and I HATE myself for it.  I feel like I’ve wasted my life, which is stupid but feelings are feelings.  I’ll admit, when I was young I wanted to be famous. I’ve always felt weirdly panicky about dying and being forgotten. It’s hard to explain, death doesn’t scare me, at least my own doesn’t. It’s inevitable. But I wanted to leave behind something. I don’t want to just disappear, if that makes sense. My hope was I could do that through my art. Art lasts. And yes, I have a child who could be considered me leaving something of myself behind but she’s not me, I don’t want her to be me. I want her to be herself. Make her own mark on the world in her own way.  What I WANT to do is go back to uni. I want to study, finally get the degree I fucked up last time around but that costs too much. I want to set up somewhere to sell my art work. I want to travel to more places, although I’ve been to Greece and seen mount Olympus, I’ve been in a hot air balloon over the Nile in Egypt as the sun rose, I’ve been to Bulgaria, skinny dipped in France and seen the remnants of the Berlin wall in Germany (I’ve obviously been to Scotland, Wales, Cornwall and Ireland too) but the world is big and I want to see more places. I want to go to Italy, Japan, Norway and as many other places as I can. But at this point I doubt I ever will. Essentially I’m just lamenting all the shit I could be doing but can’t because money. Same as everyone else I suppose. Anyway, my mum believed in reincarnation and that every time someone is reincarnated they do so to learn something in this new life, but I have to wonder wtf I’m supposed to be learning here because so far it’s not clear at all. Maybe it isn’t supposed to be clear but a nudge in the right direction would help a lot.