#my head for ages and like i found out they remastered it and like YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THE JOY I EXPRESSED

[localgardenweed]

Me and bro in a alternate universe were its 1986 and we’re on a Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach and we stop to advertise Mario Ramen

[lovesickonmybed]

crazy fuckin' phenomenon | 18+

masterlist | info about palestine | donate to gaza

pairing | dbf!joel miller x reader

synopsis | after your dad abandons joel to watch instagram reels in the bathroom, an argument over the remote ends in a new discovery

warnings | excessive use of bigfoot as a plot device, dbf!joel, explicit sexual content, smut, age gap (20s/late 30s), play fighting with sexual tension, wedgies, humiliation, degradation, kink discovery, semi brat tamer!joel, almost getting caught, blue balls

word count | 2030

a/n | this was co-written with one of my favorite people ever but they wish to remain anonymous! this was so so so fun to work on and i think it really shows. i urge you to not buy any of the last of us games, including the remaster as the creator, neil druckmann is a zionist. the second game is based off of the israeli occupation in palestine and you can learn more about that here.

“Joel I swear to fucking god if I have to watch one more episode of Finding Bigfoot, I’m clawing my eyes out.”

There’s only so much bickering between Matt Moneymaker and Ranae Holland that you can take, and apparently, you’ve found your limit. Approximately five minutes. Joel had come over to hang out with your father, they had planned to watch some war movie because they’re fucking old, but, in typical dad fashion, your father had gotten up halfway through to use the bathroom. After 30 minutes, Joel couldn’t wait anymore and switched the TV to Animal Planet so he could watch Finding Bigfoot reruns. That was two hours ago, and you’ve now spent an hour on the couch with Joel, pleading for him to change it. Of course, your TV decides to stop working the one time your dad actually wants to use the living room TV. So, yeah, you can be a little bit of a drama queen.

“If you can drag your old man off ‘a the shitter, we can go back to watchin’ Come and See. Three fuckin’ hours, startin’ to think he pulled an Elvis.”

“Seriously, Joel,” you bellyache, slumping back into the couch. “Dunno why they’re looking for Bigfoot when he’s clearly right fucking here.” You shoot him a glare from across the couch.

“Uh huh,” Joel drones, either not listening or either not giving a fuck while he watches one of the camouflaged hosts do a shitty imitation of a sasquatch mating call.

Well, since he’s distracted…

With the stealth of a super spy, you lunge over Joel’s lap towards the side table, reaching past discarded beer bottles and hunting magazines for the hijacked remote. You snatch it right up, victorious for a few seconds at most.

“Now what in the hell do you think you’re doin’? Gonna put on fuckin’ Euphoria or something?” You don’t have time to come up with a witty response before you’re pinned down to the couch cushions. Joel’s hulking form hangs over you, shoulders broad and his hair messy as he gives you a smug look. Cursing the cavewoman part of you that gets butterflies in your stomach from how easily he overpowers you, you writhe underneath him.

“Joel what the fuck? Get off me you old fuck!” You groan, grunting in frustration as you try to maneuver Joel off of you. You’re weak as shit but you remember something from the self defense class you took in high school. You knee Joel in the chest, causing him to fall back, giving you a chance to roll off the couch and onto your knees. You look back as he coughs and gasps, trying to catch his breath. 

“Oh you little shit!” Joel groans, getting off the couch and looming over you like a killer in a slasher fic. He smirks down at you, tilting his head to the side like Micheal Myers.

You feel your heart start to race and your cunt start to pulse. You turn back and start to crawl away but Joel leans down and grabs your ankle, pulling you back to him. You definitely feel like you’re in a slasher film now. 

“Oh sweetheart, you’re not gettin’ away that easily…needa stop acting like such a little brat. Your daddy was never that good at discipline.”

You don’t know what you’re expecting. But Joel’s warm hands sneaking down the waistband of your denim cutoffs is not it. You cry out as his fingers loop around your purple thong, drawing it midway up your back. Pain sears up your ass, and much more dangerous, pleasure tingles in your cunt when the front of your thong slips between your folds. Kicking your legs, you smack your palm into the carpet underneath you. “Joel!” you gasp out in surprise.

Maddeningly, Joel chuckles at your struggle underneath him. He shifts to straddle your upper thighs, weighing you down even more. “What, ain’t ever had a wedgie before?” Another sharp tug makes your head drop to the floor. You fight not to give into your body’s base desire to arch your back. “With how often you run your mouth, I’m surprised your friends never ran you up the flagpole in the schoolyard.”

You scrunch your fingers in the fiber of the carpet, trying to anchor yourself to anything other than the searing pain in your ass and cunt. It doesn’t work. You can’t focus on anything but this cruel and unusual punishment. Your dad’s best friend, wedgieing you into obedience.

Somehow, he pulls even harder. All of that contracting work isn’t for nothing. You’re silently moaning now, mouth open and your forehead dipped to the floor, desperate pants flying in and out of your mouth. “Hmmm,” he hums. “Wonder if I could get these over your head. Bet you’d have an easier time watchin’ my show with that.”

“Please,” you rasp. Your brain wants you to beg for him to let you go. Your cunt wants you to beg for him to be meaner. To go all the way and snap them over your head, leaving you ass up and face down, split in half for his enjoyment. You short circuit before you can get any further into the plea, because he’s pulling your panties even higher in brutal bursts.

“Begging ain’t gonna help, honey. You’ve made your bed, now lie in it.”

The waistband gets halfway up your neck before Joel gives up. The tension in your body lessons as you melt into the floor. “You ain’t off the hook yet, missy,” Joel says, smirk evident in his voice.

He guides your arms through the leg holes of your panties, and you moan helplessly as he snaps them over your shoulders, leaving you in the equivalent of a wedgie bodysuit. You feel like you’re being split in half.

You can’t help it. You roll your hips, grinding into your panties and the floor. The pressure is everywhere and it’s perfect. Perfect against your burning asshole, your leaking cunt, and your throbbing clit. Every movement also propels you up against Joel, something you can’t even bring yourself to remember right now. You’re wet – unbelievably fucking wet. “What the hell are you doing to me?” you whine, still humping the floor as heat blossoms in your core.

Joel stiffens above you. “Are you…” He clears his throat, a rough noise. “Are you fuckin’ into this?”

The question alone makes you whimper.

Every rock of your hips has the wedgie slicing deeper, pulling you apart piece by piece from your most sensitive place. You arch your back properly, that way every time you go up, you can feel Joel’s bulge against your rear. Joel’s quickly hardening bulge as he watches you lose all of your dignity while humping the floor with your panties rammed up your ass.

“Shut the fuck up, Joel! I’m not into this…I just-” He cuts you off by flicking the string of your thong. Tellingly, you moan out.

“Just what? Just get off on getting split in half by your fuckin’ panties?”

You try to speak but he shoves you forward, pressing your face against the carpet and pinning you down, “Just shut your mouth, don’t want your daddy findin’ ya like this do ya? God, just imagine what he’d say…. Seein’ his precious ‘lil girl gettin’ all wet from a well-deserved wedgie up these plump fuckin’ cheeks.” His hand glides down between your ass cheeks and slaps against your denim-covered bottom. You jolt, moaning where he’s pressing your face into the carpet. You’ll be surprised if your drool isn’t soaking it.

“Joooooel,” you pout, still fighting underneath him. You kick your feet, and they barely graze the small of Joel’s back, a sort of flexibility you can’t afford very much of right now. “Can’t… can’t take much more. Hurts.”

“I’ll tell you what you can take, you little brat. You’re lucky you’re not hangin’ up by these,” Joel grabs the waistband of your light wash denim shorts, using it to lift you up off the floor while you grasp at the carpet in a poor attempt to stay on the ground. 

It doesn’t work. Joel hauls you up, grabbing the front and back of your wedgie. You can’t stop yourself from moaning again, dimly away that your dad is still in the bathroom and still could walk out at any given time. You hope Joel’s good ear can hear if the toilet flushes, because you can’t hear a damn thing over your own pulse rocketing in your ears.

He yanks the back of your thong, and then the front, effectively flossing your ass crack and cunt. Your hands fly down to your thighs, but it’s not like you can do anything, because the next thing Joel does is lift you fully off the ground. You cry out, hastily clamping a hand over your mouth, and decide three things back to back to back.

One – fuck Joel Miller.

Two – fuck Joel Miller.

Three – you might actually really like this.

The third one you realize when you look down to see your arousal seeping through the denim. The humiliation stings on your cheeks with a sort of heat you’ve never felt in your life. He bounces you in the damn thing, pulling you up and down with a strength you’d never fathomed he could have.

You can’t stop yourself from grinding down when he brings you up, pulling your panties even deeper into your ass and cunt. You whine and grab at Joel’s forearm for purchase, nearly fucking yourself against the thin fabric that’s cutting you in half. Joel’s satisfaction at it all, the way you can feel him getting sadistically hard behind you from your cocktail of pain and pleasure, is what truly makes it for you. You buck against your panties even harder, letting out a truly ragged moan when it brushes your clit just right.

“You’re taking this so good, ain’t even cryin’ or nothin’. Should I hang you up? Get your eyes just as wet as your cunt? Could you even take it, or are you gonna cream your pretty little panties before I even get you on a hook?”

The answer is yes – you are going to cream your panties before he gets you on a hook.

Your orgasm rips through you violently, lighting you on fire as you hang in suspension and just take it. Ass burning and your cunt dripping like Niagara Falls, you clench and grind on your panties as desperately as you can to prolong your orgasm. Your eyes water, heart beating out of control. Joel’s hand cups your mound, heel rubbing against where your clit pulses. You’re still tremoring by the time you come down. Everything feels like it’s in technicolor, easily marking the most powerful orgasm of your life.

You realize Joel has deposited you back on the ground. It’s a miracle you’re even standing at all with how limp-boned you are. Chest rising and falling, you stumble back around to face Joel, whose cock is straining against his jeans. You’re about to put him out of his misery, not even taking the time to pick your wedgie as your hand flies towards his belt when you hear it –

Wooooooooshgluglgulglug.

You take your wedgie out like you’re racing to get rid of a ticking time bomb, frantically yanking it down your shoulders and tucking the strings into your waistband. Still burning up from your orgasm, blatantly freshly fucked, you give Joel a half-apologetic look (he had given you a hellish wedgie, after all) and scamper upstairs.

You barely acknowledge your dad as you brush past him. “Hey sweetie, goin’ back up?”

“Mhm,” you get out, almost tripping up the stairs.

“Hm, wonder what’s wrong with her,” you hear your dad reflect to Joel.

“No idea,” Joel says.

You’re about to close your door when you hear more commentary from downstairs. Your dad’s voice. “Woah there, man. Got a thing for bigfoot?”

Your eyebrows shoot to your goddamn hairline as your heartbeat spikes and your brain fills in the gaps.

“Fear boners, crazy fuckin’ phenomenon,” Joel says, just as casual as ever. Yeah. Crazy fucking phenomenon is right.

[siriuslysmoking]

Stupid

Summary: An unlikely friendship leads into the battlefield together and somehow still stays strong. After Seven years of a full friendship something slips, and it will never be the same.

Warnings: None? Parental issues ig but nothing major.

-Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place And have a drink or two And then I go and spoil it all By saying somethin' stupid like, "I love you"-

Growing up living next to the Harringtons was different than you expected, between the ages of zero to fifteen you heard parties next door every weekend. Then one weekend they stopped. You couldn't help but notice the lack of cars in the driveway. But Steve was still at school, his parents though, his parents were nowhere to be found.

Four weekends after the parties stopped you decided to confront Steve, you'd barely talked to him before, brief hello's after school, small waves through your bedroom windows, maybe a head nod of acknowledgement in the school hallways.

When you got home from school you saw the lights of a TV flickering in the window, you decided to finally talk to him. Knocking on the door you heard some shuffling from the otherside of the door. You watched as Fifteen year old Steve opened the door lazily.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm coming in." You said with a smile.

"You can't just come in." He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yes. I can." You wait until he moves to the side, granting you access to the house.

You tried not to notice the mess, but you couldn't help looking around the house you've never been in before.

"What do you need?"

"I don't need anything." You turn to him in the entryway.

"Then why are you here, bothering me."

"Oh, I'm a joy to be around, I'm not a bother."

"Alright, sunshine, What do you not need?" He rolls his eyes, leaning against the doorframe.

"I think you need something, actually, not me."

"Okay, Genie, what do I need?" He jokes sarcastically.

"A friend."

"I have friends."

"Not those types of friends, friends that don't care about what you're actually thinking." You smile softly.

"If you came here just to make me feel bad about myself, feel free to leave-"

"Where are your parents Steve?" You interrupt him, cutting to the chase.

"What?"

"Where are you parents? Every Night for the past four weeks your driveway has been empty, The shrubs are overgrown and your mother always took care of those. The house has been silent every weekend. What I'm asking is, where are you parents."

"I uh..." he pauses, something seems to be caught in his throat that he just is not willing to let go.

"You don't have to tell me, but it has to get lonely in here, if you want some company, I'm just next door." You leave a smile and turn to leave.

The next time you see Steve is two nights later, you spot him while you're laying in bed with a book. He opens his window and motions for you to do the same, you learn outside the window and give him a questioning gaze.

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"Yeah, I'll bring popcorn." You smile, you didn't expect him to accept your offer of being friends, but you're happy he did.

"Thanks Sunshine."

Seven years later Steve and you have been through thick and thin, from teenage breakups, parent issues, and interdimensional creatures. Still your friendship was somehow still growing bigger.

As the party died down you walked your guests out, thanking them for coming, and the housewarming gifts.

Once everyone leaves it's just you and Steve, the two of you clean up together and once you both are done you pour a glass of wine for the both of you. You hand Steve his as you both settle onto the couch. "Thanks, Sunny."

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"I'll get some popcorn." Steve says sitting up and moving to the kitchen, "Pick out a movie, just nothing too geeky."

"Hey! My movie picks are far superior than yours."

"Don't insult my movie preferences, I worked at Family Video for a year!" He shouts from the kitchen.

"Yeah until the government paid us off for our silence."

He returns with a bag of popcorn.

"Did you burn it again?" It wasn't even a question at this point.

"I take offense to that! I am fully capable of making popcorn."

"You may be able to make a beautiful fettuccine but popcorn is not your forte." He scoffs as he opens the bag and then the smell comes... "Steve, I swear."

"I didn't mean to!" He yells, you grab the bag as you rush to the trash to throw it out and open up a window.

"You are forever off popcorn duty." You shout behind you, throwing in a new bag. "The fact that you do it every time astounds me."

Once a fresh bag is made, you snuggle up with a blanket on the couch.

Halfway through the movie Steve lays his head down on your lap, you slowly run your fingers through his hair, you hear his breathing start to grow smoother and slower. You let him sleep through the movie so he'll not be so tired for his drive home. But looking at the time he should probably just stay the night

Once the movie is over you shake Steve awake, since it's so late you tell him to stay the night, he holds no argument and just follows you back to your room, once he's changed and you've both brushed your teeth.

"Night Stevie."

"I love you, Sunny." He's said it a million times over the past seven years, but this time... this time I just felt different. His heavy eyes held something that's never been aimed in your direction before. You can't get yourself to let words out, His throat sounds tight when he whispers shakily, "I'm so in love with you, it's almost painful to see you knowing that you don't know that I am utterly enamored with you. You are my universe, my star, my sky, my Sunny. And I'm sorry, I'm ruining the best thing I've ever had saying this, but I can't go another day without knowing your feelings."

You just stare at him for what feels like hours, days, years. You only escape your mind when Steve suddenly sits up, saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"

He says it over and over that it doesn't even sound like a word anymore. "I shouldn't have- I'm sorry."

"Steve," You murmur, standing up and rounding the bed to try to stop him from getting dressed.

"I'm so sorry, Sunny-" He's buttoning his jeans when you place your hands on his cheek, you only realize then that he let the clawing tears escape his eyes.

"Stop." You look at him softly, "Steve, I need you to breathe."

You hear him take a deep shaky breath, "I didn't want to ruin this-"

"Steve, you didn't ruin anything." You say with a soft smile.

"I- I didn't?"

You shake your head slowly, "I love you so much Steve that it consumes me, sometimes it's all I am, the love I have for you, and it's only grown over the years now that I know you."

"No..." He looks relieved, "Really?"

"Yes, Steve." You move one of your hands into his hair, it's the best way to soothe him. "So much that Robin considered calling a doctor."

He smiles into your hands, "Can I kiss you now?"

"You don't need to ask, you never need to ask." Then his lips meet your and it was like coming up for air after being stuck underwater for a lifetime.

"I love you, I love you, I love you." He repeats into your lips with a smile. Once you separate he rests his forehead on yours, "I love how you know me, I love how you love me."

Because to be loved is to be known.

-

-

Likes and Reblogs are appreciated <3

[ataraxiaspainting]

Animal Cannibal.

Yan Dottore x F Reader.

Synopsis: Violent individuals were frequently drawn to you, including your dear friend Willow, who shares your affinity for this destructive behavior. Your stalker, too, possesses a similar infatuation with you. The bond between the three of you lies in the intertwined emotions of violence and love.

Warnings: Yandere themes, violence/gore, stalking, cannibalism, minor character death, implied future kidnapping, manipulation, mentions of not SFW, and non-consensual human experimentation. 

Word Count: 2.2k.

Ten Songs Like This Piece:

Goo Goo Muck by The Cramps

Killer Queen by Queen

Psycho Killer - 2005 Remaster by Talking Heads

I Want To Break Free by Queen

Tip Toe Thru’ the Tulips with Me by Tiny Tim

Exploration by Bruno Coulais 

Take on Me by a-ha

You Are My Sunshine by Charles McDonald

Everybody Loves Somebody by Dean Martin

Dream A Little Dream Of Me - Single Version by Ella Fitgerald (feat. Louis Armstrong)

“But love shouldn’t cost an arm and a leg!” – Possibly in Michigan (1983)

*~*~*~*

i. “My own experiments have given me a deep understanding of the true nature of suffering… and I’m keen to share it with a willing guinea pig, hm?”

You found a strange man outside of your house.

He was taller than you–with hair the color of mint that covered his eyes, his beard long and poorly taken care of with split ends and some leaves and small sticks stuck to the thicker parts of it.

He waved at you when he saw you approaching. He did not scare you, not one bit.

He did not blend into his surroundings well because of how unique his appearance was. He wore an open black waistcoat with some of its buttons hanging on by a loose thread and nothing underneath. His pants were torn from the knee down. Grossly, you smelled him before you even saw him.

“Hello, sir,” You say, stepping a bit closer carefully, skillfully, being sure to not make a sound to startle or agitate him. You have become well-acquainted with unfamiliar gentlemen lurking around your residence as daylight fades, after all. “It’s getting late, isn’t it? Do you have a place to stay? There is an inn nearby I think if you don’t.” For better or for worse, stealth is something you are quite intimate with. “Sir? Are you alright? Sir?” The man did not respond, simply looking past you like you were not there.

He looked on into the brightwood trees, the wild, overgrown bushes dotted with purple Sumeru roses, and the rising, circular moon. You have a sudden flash of inspiration; since you have no weapon on you, you could bite him and claw at him if he tried anything. Your eyes go downcast, to his tattered, dirty leather shoes, as you dismiss the idea. 

“Excuse me? Do you need something? Sir?”

“I don't,” The man finally said, his voice raspy. “What about you? Do you live somewhere?”

“Here, I live here.” You could not hear what he mumbled as a response because of how quiet he was. “I live here. This is my home. You are outside my door and I can’t get in. Please, if you don’t need assistance, take a few steps back from it.”

Instead of looking at him, you look at your door. That is when you saw it; a hairpin lodged into your lock.

The man took it out and ran into the forest.

Despite the slight dents on your front door's lock, your house remained in good condition. Its aged appearance stood in stark contrast to the lush greenery that thrived just a few meters away. The wood showed signs of decay, with splits and a distinct scent of dampness and decomposing fish. Attached to the house was a collection of neglected Sumeru rose bushes, stunted and infested with flies. A rockery filled the space with an abundance of rocks, while a fairy ring composed of squishy brown toadstools emitted a dreadful odor when mistakenly stepped upon.

ii. “There is a sickness inside of me. I feel it eating away at me, eroding my mind and body. But I do not care. If I have to suffer for knowledge, I gladly will.”

The well outside your house was, for lack of a better word, still decrepit. But still, it seems like the man did not do anything to it. On the first day you moved in, all alone, the old couple that lived a hundred or so meters away made a point of telling you how dangerous the well was, and they warned you to be sure you kept away from it. 

You found it as soon as you stepped onto the property, it was in front of your house after all, smelling strongly of damp, dirty water, behind a clump of trees—a low brick circle almost hidden in the high grass. There were nests of drain flies that from afar looked like crushed pebbles. It made you step back a bit in complete disgust before you turned in the opposite direction to put your things down.

Like most Sumeru forests, there were plenty of types of animals. There were crystalflies that were sometimes the only light source you had, frogs that sometimes crept up your legs as you walked in tall, wet blades of grass and nearly made you scream every time and lizards that always somehow found a way inside and slithered across your floors.

There was also an orange cat, who sat on walls and tree stumps and watched you while meowing loudly but slipped away hissing if ever you went over to scare it off.

You spent the first two weeks after you moved in making adjustments to the rather old house. You hardly ate or slept, you just worked. There were days when you did not change clothes or drink water even, being so focused on your work that you hardly noticed anything else around you.

“This is my favorite!” exclaimed Willow, pointing at the Padisarah Pudding that was blocked off by a wall of glass.

“How much mora is it?” You asked, taking out your wallet. “I'll buy it for you. I am buying some Samosas here anyway, so it is no trouble. If you want, I can buy you some too, I recommend getting the potato and pea one.”

“No,” Willow answered, shaking her head while chuckling. “I'm fine. I have to use up some old vegetables and meat anyway at home before they go bad or my parents are going to kill me for real.” 

“Alright, be sure to check the ingredients beforehand for any dirt or mold,” you said. “‘I do not want you getting sick.”

You stood by one of the bakery’s windows, observing the rain pouring down. This rain wasn't the type you could venture out into; it was the other kind, cascading from the sky and creating splashes upon impact. This rain was serious, and its current agenda was transforming the streets into a murky, soggy mixture.

There was nothing to do here other than talk to Willow and wait for your food. Not that that was a bad thing in your book.

You had met through a mutual stalker, to put it simply, and now are inseparable. Even though that man is currently rotting in a prison cell, the past still influenced both of your actions. You just thank Lesser Lord Kusanali for granting you good fortune. With every new stalker, Willow seemed to be connected to them somehow, making you two even closer than before. You bond over your shared reverence of violence and love.

So, you start talking.

You start talking with a tone akin to someone making small talk over the weather, but instead of dark clouds or how bright the sun is, you talk about the man you saw yesterday. Willow listens, nodding a bit from time to time while still looking both outside the window and to the glass wall where the desserts were placed for the viewership of the customers. From the way she smiles with every word you say, you know you have piqued her interest yet again.

“Interesting.” She finally says, her back turned to you as she looks out to the rainstorm.

iii. “I wondered, why does a man who has done nothing think he deserves everything? That is what this experiment is about.”

“Hello?” You say, opening your door. “You're back.”

“Yes,” The man answered, playing with the buttons on his torn clothing. “Only for you, beloved.”

“Should I be honored?” You asked. “Who are you? What are you?”

“Your prince, what else?”

“Who or what else are you?”

“Someone utterly in love with you, someone you love too.”

“How do you know that?”

"My mouth,” The man answers, leaning in closer to you with his tongue out. “Look—look at it. The better to eat you with, my dear. It hungers for you. I just know you are the one to finally satisfy it. It is in a wolf's nature to feed, after all.”

“I see.” You look down as he kisses you, showing no resistance. He has holes in his shoes. His big toes are sticking out like sore thumbs. You suppose that they are, in a way.

“You have two choices. One, I will eat you now; or two, I will cut your arms and legs off one by one and eat them in front of you slowly as you cry on the floor covered in filth.”

You considered this carefully as you thought of an answer, preparing to ask him why.

So, you do, because he does not stop you and you want to know, don't you? He does not stop you.

He says for love.

You ask again.

He once again says it is for love. You say that love isn’t something given as part of an exchange or contract, that what he is asking for is bitter and dry.

He simply laughs. “For love.”

“But do you love me?"

“You smell so good, like the finest rose in all of Sumeru, all of Teyvat, even all of Celestia.”

Struggling would be useless. “Have there been others?” You ask.

"You must be the seventh," he remarked, leaving you to grapple with this realization. Escape became an impossible feat as he denied you any chance to flee. 

As if responding to his words, the door creaked open, followed by a gunshot.

iv. “I could have simply sliced her apart the moment I saw her and threw her to my patients, but I could not waste someone as fascinating as her. She is a treasure trove of knowledge, and it is rather rare to find someone as interesting as her, my assistant.”

The man fell to the floor grasping his shot through chest. Willow helped you up. Life quickly faded from the man's once concealed eyes, his red eyes.

“The plan worked,” Willow said. “Good job. He won't see you anymore. We make a good team I think.”

You agree.

“You should boil some water.” She said.

You then shrugged. “I'm getting tired of soup.” You responded. “I want sauce or something to go with the Samosas.”

Willow did not say anything for a moment.

It was dark outside now, with the rain still falling from the sky and making tiny splatters on the soil, making it hard to see out the window.

Perhaps making soup for dinner was not a bad idea after all. Days like this called for comfort. “Fine,” You say, and Willow smiles. “I’ll start prepping ingredients.”

“I’ll run to my home and get the leftovers I talked about.” She is already putting back on her coat before you can rebut.

You sighed as you heard the door close. It was time to get to work, you suppose.

“Come out, my friend.” You take the meat cleaver out from the kitchen drawer where you put the rest of your knives, the said cleaver still stained with blood from the month before. “You are unsightly if I am being perfectly honest with you.” You mutter, shaking your head.

…

Dinner went off without any problems. It was a lovely feast. However, heating the Samosas without breaking them was kind of difficult for you because you only had one small pan and one large pot.

Something creaks in the distance.

Creeeeeeeeak. The floorboards. You and Willow are too busy talking to notice. The sound came from your bedroom. A man with a mustache the color of rotting mint that covered his mouth and chin, his filthy brown hair long and dirty, and even some animal fur being laid about everywhere on his scalp.

He sneaks out your bedroom window.

His shadow was hardly seen by either of you because of how fast he ran.

He was like a spider. The comparison was sort of funny because he knew how much you hated them.

He has to eventually make his way to Port Ormos to catch his boat back to Snezhnaya. 

But that can wait for later. You are so much better than business and any other projects he is currently doing or has discarded. 

All he can think about is you. He thinks of what to tell the current him, of how many stalkers you and your friend have murdered in retribution for their harassment.

Would he be delighted?

Would he be angered?

There is no way to know for sure. After all, whenever someone tries to talk to him they have to tread the line between being too nice and being too rude unless they want to find themselves on the other side of the operations.

There is just one more thing he needs to check before he goes. Just one. It will only take a minute. It will be quick.

He steps on the old well’s edge and looks down into the murky water.

He sees one of the clones’ skulls floating on the surface, its disintegrating bone covered in flies fighting each other for the tiniest scraps of fat. 

They buzzed and buzzed until he could not take it anymore and threw a large rock, breaking the cranium and scaring away the flying insects, though there is no doubt that maggots are being born where the eyes and tongue used to be.

You and Willow throw the bones down the well. Just what he thought.

Good.

v. “My work is the purest form of art there is. It requires painstaking detail and absolute perfection, all in the spirit of scientific advancement and understanding. As an example, the first part of this experiment in particular is a success.”

[user2772636]

Mr. Beauty and Brains

A chicken shop date

《~/♧\~》

《~/♧\~》

An interview with a famous philosophy professor who gained fame from being one of the youngest in his field and being an attractive one, too. Is an interview for a first date too much?

~~~

Professor!Joseph Descamps x Interviewer!Reader

Warnings: None, just fluff

Yes, this is in direct reference to Amelia Dimoldenberg's Chicken Shop Date.

~~~

~~~

Joseph Descamps was just a normal philosophy professor. He taught at an English university, a bit far from home, but it pays well.

Emphasis on was.

When one of his students posts a video of him with the caption, "When your philosophy teacher is your age," he goes from living a normal life to worldwide news.

Everyone commented on his young age, yes, but they mostly comment on how good-looking he was. Back in France, he wasn't really considered good-looking. More so "mid-looking." He guesses it's him growing out his hair.

So, maybe, just maybe, when you were scrolling through your news feed and found the man in an article called "Young and beautiful: Philosophy professor gains fame," you thought to interview him.

It would benefit you and your fans. Your fans because they seem to be interested in the man, too, and you because your channel can grow. Plus, a date with beauty and brains? Who would turn that down?

So when you got in contact with him, asking for a date-interview, expecting him to say no, he surprisingly agreed.

There you were now in that chicken shop, ready for a date with the hot philosophy professor. What could go wrong?

《~/♧\~》

"I actually watch your videos." Joseph says casually, dipping his fries into some ketchup and nibbling it down. Though he teaches in London, his french accent is very audible.

"Really?" I ask in disbelief. I didn't know professors, especially pretty ones like him, watched videos like mine.

"Yeah. That's why I agreed." He chuckles, taking a sip of his drink. "I saw your text and didn't believe it. I was in the middle of my class, my students were taking an exam, and then suddenly, your name popped up. I literally stood up from my chair in shock. Ask one of thosw kids, they'll tell you."

I laugh at the situation, then act unsurprised. "Oh, yeah, well, I tend to give people that reaction. You know, Jude Bellingham quite literally passed out."

He laughs out loud, whipping his head back. When he regains composure, he asks a question that gets me weak in the knees, and I'm already sitting down.

"Yeah?"

Fuck, he sounded good. It's weird to think he's a teacher.

"Yeah."

"Well, anyone would if it's a date with you." I smile slightly, blush coating my cheeks.

"I know."

《~/♧\~》

"I heard you used to model." He chuckles, bringing a hand to the back of his neck.

"Yeah, I did. Just needed to pay for my own education." He tilts his head, smiling up at me. Why is he so cute?

"That's cool. I mean, you are pretty tall." I shrug, keeping my act up. He smiles at this even more.

"Why do you act like that?" He asks, voice low.

"Like what?" I act dumb, nibbling on my food.

"Like you hate me." I squint, looking to the side.

"Well, what if I do?" I raise my eyebrows in question.

"You don't." He's right. I don't.

"How are you so sure?" I clear my throat, the tension in the air thick.

"I just do." He leans back in his chair. "But that's alright. Turns me on."

"Yeah, I totally hate you." He laughs a breath, and I roll my eyes with a smile.

《~/♧\~》

"What's your type?" I ask, sipping on my drink.

"Um, probably smart girls. I like them smart." He nods, and I nod along.

"Well, not to brag or anything, but I competed in maths all throughout high school." I purse my lips, shrugging. He leans in with endearment.

"Did you really?" He seems so eager. I'm suddenly thankful for all of the late nights I stayed up during my school years.

"Yup. Nothing special." I take a bite of my chicken, and Joseph only stares with wide eyes and a half open mouth.

"That's... That's fucking hot." He leans back, wiping a hand on his face.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic." He chuckles briefly, leaning back in with his arms on the table.

"Oh God, marry me." It was my turn to laugh. When he doesn't laugh with me, my smile drops.

"Are you serious? Why?" I furrow my brows, genuinely confused. This beautiful and smart man in front of me wants to marry me?

"Cause I'm in love with you? I mean, I got a job early in my age, maybe I should get married early, too." He shrugs as if it were simple.

"In your dreams, Mr. Descamps." He licks his lips with a smile, and I almost melt.

"I was hoping for an "I do", but that works, too. I'll dream about you." Why does he have to talk like this. Damn the french.

《~/♧\~》

When I get reminded of the fact there's a camera crew neside us recording every single interaction, I secretly wish they hadn't captured the way his knees touched mine under the table, or how his fingers fiddled with the tips of mind when both our hands were on the table.

We were about to say goodbye, when-

"Can I get your number?" Joseph asks, towering over me with his hands in his pockets. I was gonna say yes a million times, then pull him in to make out with me, but that's a bit too much. Some teasing might work.

"What, you want another interview?" I ask, smiling a bit up at him.

"No. But I won't mind it. I just want you." I blush at this, my legs feeling jelly again, worse now that I'm stood up.

"Sure, whatever, I don't care." He hands me his phone, and I jot the number down, not failing to notice the name,"Mrs. Descamps" placed on the contact already. I don't stop it.

"I'll text, I promise." He purses his lips, looking at me with genuinity. I smile softly, kissing his cheek.

"I know you will." I get up on my tip toes to kiss his cheek.

《~/♧\~》

So, you may or may not be on the top most tweets on the internet, name next to Joseph's on the tag, "#MrDescampsCSD."

After the video was posted, people started shipping you. They gave you the ship name "J-Y/N." You wouldn't say it bothered you, because it doesn't.

And yes, the media caught you kissing his cheek. And yes, they think you're dating. But who's dumb enough to believe that?

"Chérie?" A voice calls out from your flat's corridor, followed by the door closing and keys dropping on the table.

"In here!" I shout from my place on the couch. I feel lips press on my temple.

"Half day today, I told you. I'm making lunch." Joseph Descamps says as he peeks at what you're reading.

"What's J-Y/N?" He squints his eyes at the screen, trying to read a bit more. I pull the phone from his sight, sitting up.

"Nothing you need to worry about, joli. Come here." I stand up, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. Always, after work, no matter what time he gets off, he'll receive a hug and more from me.

He sighs deeply, loosely wrapping his arms around my waist and inhaling my scent.

"I needed this."

"You always do." I kiss his hair, swaying absentmindedly.

Okay, you have to admit, it's pretty cool thinking that you were just interviewing him and now you live in the same place. He was only a professor before he met you. Now he's in love.

《~/♧\~》

This is so cutesy. Also made this bcs of lando. Like ik im late asf but atleast its smth 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[r0-boat]

Larry & The waitress

A remastered version of Larry and The waitress.

Cw: age gap (Reader is in her 20s),

Female reader x Larry

In Larry's POV!!

With smut!

Everyday after a long day of battling, paperwork, battling, and more paperwork, He would go to his favorite restaurant. Be greeted by the usual faces. Sit in his usual seat, order the same thing everyday and-

"What would you like to order sir?"

Huh? That's new, usually as soon as he sits down the chef would smile and say "The usual?" And he would just nod.

That voice... Cherry and sweet, unfamiliar yet welcoming, not yet tainted by the soul-crushing machine of corporate life. It had caught him off guard. Larry turns to the owner of that voice, a young woman her smile bright and cheery, her face wearing a bright smile, her lips red like Dipplin syrup and her eyes big and bright She looks as if she was actually interested in what he would like. Someone who have breathed fresh air into him. You reminded him of his youth when he first joined as an elite 4 number.

"Oh I'm sorry Larry, hey! ___That's a regular I got it from here!" The chef and owner called out The waitress eyes widened when she realized who she was talking to.

"Oh gosh! I'm so sorry I didn't realize-" her face started to flush... How cute..

"it's okay." He stated no expression in his voice nor his face. It was normal for him and anyone who knew him but to you, you had no idea You thought your first day and you're already on the wrong foot with the elite floor member and regular of the treasure eatery!!

You couldn't be more wrong.

You were fun to watch, as he ate Larry couldn't help but sneak glances at you. Him in this eatery had a long history so he knows as much as the owner It was fun watching you scramble for certain dishes correcting you in his head.

Some days when the owner was preoccupied to take his order You would come up to him, with that sweet smile and ask him What would he like?

He would order the same thing but still you would ask him what he would like. He didn't know why he found this cute that you still couldn't remember his usual order.

He couldn't help but tease you when you finally asked him "The usual?"

"hmm... No I think I'd like something else"

He swore he could feel his lip twitch watching your brain shut down and scramble.

That's when the thoughts started to come. Those red little lips He would begin to imagine how soft it would feel, He would sharply inhale every time you put that damn pencil up to your lip.

One time He had a challenger and you watched in awe had his strength as he wiped the floor the poor kid and his Pikachu. That's when his eyes met yours You looked away fluttering your little eyelashes your face flushing again.

You can't fool him, He's much older than you He knows a lot more than you. He knows that he impressed you. Good, his heart beats seeing you fluster trying not to look back at him. You are very cute.

However, he doubts that you, a young girl with your whole life ahead of you, would be interested in a washed-up older man like him.

He was wrong, so wrong.

In an alleyway of Medali kissing you. Your body against his. Your red lipstick now stained on his lips His tongue in your mouth now that he had a taste something stirs inside of him, something he had not felt in a really long time. You can't help as a low growl escapes his lips grabbing your hips trying to pull you in closer. You could feel how much he wants you grind against him. You bring up your knee and watch him desperately grind for relief letting out a shaky moan.

"I can't do this here." His voice husky his face red his hair messy his eyes filled with lust even as he pulls away.

Your pout pulls at his heartstrings, but he knows better than to give you what you want not here.

"my number, call me for a proper date. And then we will pick up where we left off."despite his disheveled hair and wrinkled suit and red stained face and lips he remains professional even now when he offers you to his bedroom.

[hornsbeforehalos]

Anytime Sweetheart (Remastered)-Part One

Pairing: JDM x OFC (RPF) SERIES WARNINGS: (not specific to each chapter): violence, implied sexual assault, drug use, drinking, smut, murder, cursing, age-gap relationships, power dynamics, angst, slight slow burn, cheating... will update warnings as needed. AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is a rewrite! I originally wrote this, which can still be found in my master list, years and years ago and finally have decided to spruce it up a bit. This will be in third person POV and updated to be less... cringy as the original. As of right now there are only two chapters rewritten but if anyone shows interest, I will continue :) Please let me know if you would like to be tagged. I haven't written anything serious in years so this is me dipping my toes back in :) Face credit for OC is Taylor Momsen :) Tag List: @coffee-obsessed-writer @kazosa @lovealways-j @lovetusk @sorenmarie87

“You’re fucking useless, you know that? Like some useless blonde bimbo, I swear.” Anthony growled, advancing towards her menacingly.

“I-I, I’m sorry, something’s been wrong with the washer and I guess something got wrapped around the agitator-” She tried to explain, her voice shaking.

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up, you stupid bitch.” Anthony roared, raising his hand back and drawing it forwards across Kylin’s face. A cry of pain escaped her lip and her hand cupped her stinging cheek. She backed against the door of the couple’s bedroom and stumbled as the door fell open behind her, already broken from a previous altercation.

She slammed the door closed in his face, thankful to hear the click of the handle, rushing to lock it and secure it closed. Anthony banged on the door, threatening to break down, while Kyln grabbed her backpack from the closet. She packed up a few things before zipping it up and throwing it out the window closest to the driveway. The door was soon easily broken open by Anthony, and she dove out the window herself. Thankfully, she landed unbruised and quickly made her way to her car with the backpack.

But she wasn’t quite fast enough, unfortunately.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” He seethed as his hand found purchase in her hair. He spun her around, pinning her against himself and the car door. His free hand came to wrap around her throat, squeezing her throat closed.

It had to have been pure adrenaline, she would think looking back, because she instinctively  brought her knee to his groin with all the strength she could muster. He dropped her to the ground, stumbling back as he gripped his useless nutsack. She took advantage of the moment and bound to her car, quickly locking it as he tried to stumble his way towards her. 

Before she even registered where she was going, she was already two and a half hours south of DFW on I-35.

_____________________________________

Half an hour later, Kylin pulled into her brother's gated community and gave the security guard the passcode. She followed the GPS through the neighborhood, even though she knew the way by memory. She put the car in park before turning off the engine as anxiety raged in her gut. Why did there have to be so many cars in his driveway at 11 o'clock at night?  A million ‘what if’s’ swam through her head, and she almost lost her nerve completely. 

But then she remembered every sad look her family had given her, how disappointed they were with her, how much it hurt them to see her in that condition... How much they tried to remind her that they weren’t raised to put up with bullshit like what she had endured. 

She rang the doorbell, and a relieved sigh left her when her sister-in-law answered the door.

“Oh my god, Kylin, What are you doing here?” Danneel screeched as she threw her arms around Kylin, not spilling a drop of wine as it sloshed around in the glass that was clutched in her hand. 

Kylin smiled as she returned Danneel’s embrace. She squeezed her tight as relief spread over her and her nerves seemed to immediately release themselves. She had misses her bestfriend SO fucking much. 

“Um, I-I hope I’m not intruding or anything,” Kylin sniffed as she pulled away to wipe the tears that fell without her permission, “ I uh, needed somewhere to go.” 

Danneel’s smile fell immediately. She looked around before pulling her into the empty den.  She gripped Kylin by the side of the head with her free hand as she asked in a whisper, “Did he…?”

Kylin nodded shamefully, “Don’t tell Jens, please. It’s over, and I’m not going back.”

“Stay here as long as you need. I’ll call Dad in the morning so he can deal with getting your stuff. You really drove here from Dallas?” Danneel replied with a hint of snark. She let out a laugh when Kylin answered her question with a shrug.

“Well, you picked a hell of a night to make an appearance.” Dani smirked, taking a sip from her glass of Cabernet, “Somehow everyone managed to be in the same place at the same time for once, so it’s a full house.” 

The girls made their way from the den and into the dining room where everyone else was gathered, Danneel rubbing Kylin’s back soothingly before pulling away to get her husband’s attention. 

“Look who came to see her favorite brother,” Danneel touched Jensen on his back and he whipped around, a smile immediately brightened his face. 

“Ky, what the hell are you doing here?” He whooped, moving quickly to engulf his younger sister in a smothering hug. He squeezed her tight around her ribs and she couldn’t help the shriek of pain that she let out as he lifted her up off the floor. Jensen let her go and gave her a questioning look.

“Err, sorry, Bubs. I, uh, fell off the ladder at Dad’s the other day trying to help him do something, Kinda, uh, bruised my ribs a little bit, I think. No biggie.” She excused as she rubbed the sore area. 

“He should know your clumsiness does not make you helpful,” Jensen joked, throwing his arm around her shoulders as she motioned for Dani to make Kylin a drink.

“Whiskey, please,” Kylin stated when she saw her attempt to reach for the wine. Danneel gave her a look, but obliged nonetheless.

“And who is this beautiful young thing you have yet to introduce me to, Jensen?” A thick drawl came from behind. Kylin turned her head towards the voice. 

‘Holy fuckballs,’ Kylin thought as she was met with the tall length of a man that was Jeffery Dean Morgan, clad in dark washed jeans and a faded band tee.

“This is my sister, Jeff, my baby  sister. She just popped in to surprise me from Dallas.” Jensen replied, his voice lowering with a hint of protectiveness. He wrapped his arm tighter around Kylin’s shoulders and she fought to wince with the tenderness. 

“She looks young enough to be your daughter, J,” Jeffrey chuckled as he let his eyes roam Kylin’s frame.

“Not quite, but she is definitely old enough to be yours, old man.” Jens replied, eyes squinted in annoyance. 

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Morgan,” Kylin replied as she stuck her hand out towards him, “Ignore my brother, he’s a bitch.” 

She ignored Jensen’s scoff as she smiled up at Jeffrey, who took her hand in both of his much larger ones. 

“Definitely related to you, Ackles. She’s cute.” Jeffrey smiled, letting go of Kylin’s hand after a moment. 

“Ky! How the hell have you been, woman?!” Was heard right before Kylin was scooped up from behind and spun around by Rob Benedict. 

He set her down gently and turned her in his arms to hug her properly. She couldn't help the whimper that escaped her throat as pressure was once again applied to her sore body. Rob brought his head back to give her a knowing look. Kylin simply smiled shyly before she dodged his eyes and looked away. 

She was quickly passed around by Jared, Gen, and Rob, and a sense of comfort graced her as she realized that she was finally surrounded by people who loved her and would protect her. She was safe. For now, at least. 

--------------------------------------

As she enjoyed the company of her friends, family, and warm whiskey, her phone was constantly vibrating in her pocket, Anthony not willing to give up. The alcohol was working its way through her system, and in her drunkenness, her anger started to flare up all over again. With a sigh of frustration, she retreated to the back yard to answer the phone. She lit a cigarette and took a deep drag before pressing “accept” on the screen.

She didn’t even get the chance to say “Hello,” before the verbal attack began.

“Get your stupid ass back to this fucking house, now.” Anthony demanded, his voice low and almost growl-like.

“No,” She replied simply, taking another anxious pull from the cigarette between her fingers. 

“Where the fuck did you even go, huh? Who are you with? You’re at some bar, huh? I’ll beat your ass in the middle of Pearl if I find you, you fucking whore.” He threatened, followed by a loud crashing noise coming from the background. 

“I’m done with this. This is not how you speak to someone, Anthony. Who the fuck raised you?” She hissed, attempting to keep her voice down so as to not draw any attention, “I’m done. Like, done, done.”

“Since when do you get to have a complex, bitch? You ruined my life having to deal with all of your shit, so you don’t get to just walk away from me.” 

“The fuck I don’t!” She barked, her voice raised, “Fuck you, you piece of shit. Fuck. you. My dad will be there by tomorrow to get my shit. I’m done with this conversation.” 

Anthony started on another tirade, but before she could tell what his next slew of curses would be, her phone was snatched out of her hand. She whipped around as Jeffery brought the phone to his ear. 

“I do believe the lady said she was done. Learn your manners, boy.” His drawl was thick and assertive, and he left no time for Anthony to reply before he pressed the “end” button and held the phone out for her to take back.

She hadn’t even realized she had started crying until she brought the forgotten cigarette back to her lips, and the ashes fell across her hand as she took a final drag before tossing it into the yard. She wiped her face with the sleeve of her sweater, trying to rid her face of the tears and snot. 

Jeffrey took a seat next to her on the bench she had been sitting on and lit up a joint. He took a couple of hits for himself before he passed it to her. 

“Thanks,” She whispered and took a deep drag. She hummed in appreciation as she held the smoke in her lungs for a moment before blowing it out. 

“Anytime, sweetheart. Sounds like you need it.” Jeffrey chuckled as he took it back from her. They sat there for a few minutes, passing the joint back and forth without speaking. The sound of the back door opening, followed by Genevieve’s voice broke the comfortable silence. 

“There you are! Oooooh, you have goodies!” Gen giggled as she sat beside Kylin, who was forced to move closer to Jeffrey, their shoulders touching. 

“Rough day?” Gen asked as she plucked the roach from Kylin’s fingers and took a deep drag. She had already been informed of the situation by Danneel.

Kylin simply replied with a huff of a laugh and a shake of her head.

“That boy needs to learn how to speak to a woman,” Jefrey stated simply as he brought a cigarette to his mouth.

“You have no idea,” Kylin replied. She picked up her glass of whiskey and finished it off. 

That earned her a sigh from Gen and a confused look from Jeffrey. She ignored both.

The silence washed over them again while Jeffrey finished his smoke. He tossed the butt in the yard with hers as he stood.

“Well, ladies, I have enjoyed your company, but I am going to hit the hay” He said smoothly, holding both his hands out for each of the girls to take one. He kissed them both, gave a small bow, and retreated back inside the house.

“Jay sent me out here, you know. Didn’t like the way Jeff was ‘looking’ at you.” Gen said, making sarcastic quotation marks with her fingers with a laugh. 

Kylin smirked and shook her head. Of course her brother was being his usual over protective self. 

“So is this the real last time?” Gen asked gently, after a few moments. 

“Yep,” Kylin replied, popping the ‘p’ sound. She dug around in her pocket and found her pack of cigarettes. She lit one and took a drag and then offered it to Gen.

“Good.” Gen nodded simply and brought the smoke to her lips. One of the best things about being best friends with Gen and Dani was that they all knew what the other person was feeling and needing without the use of words.

“Come on, chick,” Gen said suddenly as she grasped Kylin by the thigh and hoisted herself up. She turned and grabbed Ky by the hand and pulled her up with her, “Let’s go take shots until we black out.” 

“Sounds perfect,” Kylin laughed as she threw her arm over Gen’s shoulders and let her guide them inside. 

And black out they did. 

[tohellandback99]

………heeeeeeyyyyy!

I have been doing my stuff, as you can see. I had been gone… uhh, see;

I was getting top surgery. Mm 😌

Wendell and Wild’s one year anniversary had passed, but it wasn’t lost on me. I would like to share some words, my feelings for a moment

At the beginning of November last year, I had simply wished to watch something on Netflix for the first time in forever. I’m not much of a movie or tv show person-I’m more of a gamer. (Unless it’s a stop-motion film)

Anyway, I saw Kat’s picture on the front of the movie and my jaw felll to the floor because of, “how the HELL, did I not hear of this movie?” Which I’m only a little bit happy about because I like being surprised (ONLY when it comes to finding a good movie,) and in this case, was absolutely absolutely bewitching. Beguiling. Refreshing. but people in NETFLIX should not have thrown this to the wind. This can actually help people! I read that it was made by Jordan Peele working with Henry Selick, a duo I would never have imagined but understood from their works that they would be, a wonderful pairing. And I find myself lucky that I hadn’t heard people online say that it is like Coraline because it’s not… It is BEEEEETTEEERRR! 😍 IT IS LOVE! It is my childhood fever dream doused in chocolate and fucking cheeeese *slaps table* iwantmoreofit

It was quite an emotional roller coaster of a movie. It’s one of those films that you’d say, is an “experience” as opposed to a “story.” Kat and Raul are BY FAAARRR characters that I would have liked to see on television in my childhood years. Instead of Johnny Test, Chowder, Total Drama-anything-it’s-all-the-same, and Ed, Edd, and Eddy. 😤 Kat and Raul are people that I’ve been surrounded by in my life that I prefer, and have BEEN, in my life. So much so that I struggle to call them “characters” instead of people. And I can relate and see my child selves in both Kat and Raul, A LOT. (dressed in a punk style and grew up with and enjoy quite a bit of punk music. used to have a Mohawk when I was Kat’s age! There’s more but I don’t want to say,) It was terrifying for a bit because it made me feel like I don’t exist. I can’t

I cried when she found her source, her key. And gave herself a hug and how it became one with her. The “shadow Kat.” I think. My passed therapist calls a “source” or a “core” that holds trauma, the key. 🥹 That was so intrinsically true and relative to someone doing trauma work that I’m immensely grateful. Exists. In a movie like this.

My criticisms of this movie come out of love for this movie. If I didn’t like it I wouldn’t have cared to critique it. All I wanted was more, generally. More time, because there’s a lot of interesting things that were alluded to, but left out. And that’s all!

So my art is this time, this is an art journaling thing that was never supposed to be one but I lost control and before I knew it, realized what it was becoming. It’s chaos. I’m trying not to be embarrassed of that, eeehhhhhhhh 😓 mrrp, *squint* *chirp!* I had to improvise in a way that felt right.

I drew and painted Kat, and drew her almost entirely without reference. She’s not crying because of Raul! Absolutely NOT. I was going to do something with her but didn’t have the space so I made this as a practice and, I am obviously still needing to get better at painting her. I am so much happier with how I draw her now. I drew Sweetie because I needed some sort of guardian before I continue. (She was so easy) And then, this genderbent Oogie Boogie was stuck in my head and I drew and painted her too, all villainous and imposing. It made for a great challenge I’d say

Oh yeah, right yes… RAUL, has a purple winding stair case behind him. Of course… *sips tea* yes, that’s the appropriate way to get things done simply. You know who your favorite character is when your brain suddenly is like, “hey! Let me surround him with a winding staircase 🤩” 🤭 what the hell

[cilant-lis]

rhian's time in dao pt.2

i can't stop myself from imagining just how gorgeous denerim would look if origins ever got remastered....

wahoo, romance with leli unlocked! i love her so much. kissing her in camp, kissing her in denerim, kissing her on a random battlefield, kissing her in front of the corpse of brother genitivi's assistant

perfect timing for the ghoul tamlen encounter :') on the way to the temple of sacred ashes and right after locking in leliana's romance, just as rhian got a tiny sliver of happiness, wham, gutpunch! (oh how i wish there was more companion reactivity, maybe even a cutscene of tamlen's funeral? i have to do everything myself smh)

respeccing rhian as dex dual wielding warrior because of story reasons (definitely not because i hate playing warriors)

i forgot how creepyy haven is. and how the inquisition decided to settle on top of the said freaky place.

more delicious angst for rhian with the guardian's test, but also some closure at last with the spirit-tamlen somewhat alleviating their survivor's guilt

at the urn of sacred ashes: leliana having a deep religious experience while morrigan, zevran and rhian are like 'wow, a vase....'

ugh eamon. hate that guy

off we go to orzammar and deep roads! first time going there with rhian. they're going to hate all the politics stuff sooo much

choosing the 'give me my troops' option every single conversation. i think rhian would support bhelen not because they care about his politics, but because they found bhelen less annoying than harrowmont

i think the most world-changing decision in the entire game is giving leliana a nug. in this essay i will-

bless the faster moving speed mod, breezed through the deep roads while still getting the lovely, creeping dread atmosphere <3

speaking of creepy, somehow i remember the boobmother broodmother fight being much harder. it took less than five minutes now, even though i'm playing on hard. honestly the stupid road to the anvil of the void took more time

cairdin :( i regret not bringing shale to the quest i gotta look up its dialogue during the quest

wahoo, congrats on the coronation bhelen. NOW GIVE ME MY TROOPS

back to denerim we go, and wouldn't you know it, another crash...

two elves and a mage walk into arl of denerim's estate, somehow no one bats an eye, until the arl is killed and all his prisoners are freed (except for vaughan, rest in piss)

captured! my favourite quest! this time i had rhian break out on their own and it was sooo funny. didn't expect being able to seduce the guard with my 'male' warden, but we honestly the unnamed guard is a bicon

doing the alienage quest and i'm wondering, how long ago did the riots take place? and was it during this uprising that the orphanage was wiped out? idk if i'm conflating the two but it really doesn't add up? the corpses are all bones inside, and the beggar outside of the orphanage is an adult? i guess i need to replay the tabris origin for a refresher

love how blase eamon is about what happened in the alienage. shame we can't kill the guy

i'm a queen anora truther, and nothing will ever change that. i'm tempted to play a cousland just so i can marry her <3

landsmeet cutscene is so great for screenshots, i can't concentrate on what is actually being said lmao. i briefly thought of conscripting loghain, but taking roleplaying into account, i don't think rhian would forgive him for what he did in the alienage. (and by now they no longer see being a warden as a punishment)

rhian entering their absent parent era... such an icon (WHY can't we discuss this with our love interest??? blease let me tell leliana and alistair at least) and in the wonderful version of dragon age that exists in my head, morrigan and rhian perform a blood magic ritual instead of boning

the final goodbyes with the companions ;_;

gods, i hate the final battle drag. just teleport me to the archdemon

rhian is my special little guy and they got the final blow animation on the archdemon AND the cutscene (even though in my worldstate they're not even the one to kill it but oh well)

wish the boon the warden chooses had some sort of an impact in the later games... the dalish getting a chunk of land in ferelden is kind of significant, isn't it

after the game, rhian visits their clan (the half of it which remained in ferelden) with leliana, and finally has a brief moment of respite, even if it's only a week. after that, they travel to weisshaupt to get officially recognised as the warden-commander (and in my canon worldstate report on alvea's 'death') and eventually return to ferelden

[my-st0ff]

Something Soft and Delicate

Chapter Two

Fandom: Dragon Age

Pairing: Cullen Rutherford x female reader

Chapter Song: Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want (Deftones Version) - Deftones (lyrics in bold)

"Isn't this wonderful?"

A husky, tired voice flows across your shoulder into your ear - emitting from your newly wed husband who had been acting as your big spoon and caressing your bare skin to help you wake up with his head placed perfectly so that he could peck at your lower neck constantly for the past five minutes or so. So you tiredly responded with "hm?"

Cullen: "Good times for a change"

You: "Yes... it is rather lovely"

You speak through a cheesy grin, eyes still shut.

Cullen: "It's just, neither of us have been very well off and... I'm so glad I found you y/n. So for once in my life I feel... so safe"

You: "And you deserve to, Sweetheart"

You turn over in his arms so that you can face him.

You: "See, the luck you've had, can make a good man turn bad... and you've done nothing but remain my big, strong pure man"

A devilish smile creeps across your lips toward the end of your sentence as you squeeze his bicep. Making him giggle and his ears to turn a little red.

You: "How on Thedas do I still make you blush, Cullen?"

Cullen: "Oh I've never dealt well with compliments from pretty women. I'm not sure that will ever change"

He grins.

You: "Aww, thought you'd be bored of me by now"

You smile half joking. His gaze softens.

Cullen: "You? Never."

He slowly leans in and kisses you gently with feather-touch lips. His sweet, low voice hatching butterflies deep in your tummy. His large arms envelop you.

Cullen: "Maker has finally Let me get what I want... lord knows it's the first time"

Your soft round eyes look up at him similar to a puppies yearning gaze as one hand of yours begins to utilise it's fingers in caressing Cullen's naked chest. You go to reassure him.

You: "Cullen you- darlin' are you too hot?"

Your eyes flicker between the several licks of sweat rolling down his forehead and cheeks.

Cullen: "I feel a little flushed"

His eyes apear glazed over, giving him away as he tries his hardest to maintain his composure. You start to shuffle away and sit up a bit.

You: "I'll get you a cold flannel"

You go to push yourself off the bed and onto your feet when you feel a clammy hand grip your wrist.

Cullen: "no, don't go"

His doughy eyes pleed more intensely than his words ever could. You do your best to remain stoic.

You: "it's the withdrawals is it not?"

You state matter-of-factly. Referring to his recovering stater due to being in the process of quitting lyrium.

Cullen: "it doesn't matter y/n. I won't let the first few days of our marriage be spoiled by this"

You: "don't say silly things like that. Nothing will be spoiled my sweet"

You smile tenderly and float out the room to find a flannel.

Once you return with a damp, wet flannel and a bottle of medicine with a complimentary teaspoon your met with a trembling Cullen who's sat on top of the covers in his underwear with a cold sweat tormenting the surface of his soft skin. You sit beside him and carefully place the flannel on his forehead as he twitches and occasionally whimpers. Then you unscrew the bottle of medicine and raise the teaspoon.

Cullen: "Let me, let me, let me"

Cullen commands rapidly, almost frantically. You, without a second thought hand him the glass bottle and spoon to which he mucks up the execution of the pouring gesture. Immediately realising you were too soon to let him do it himself, you take the spoon and bottle back slowly and cautiously and place it on the bedside table all the while Cullen curses under his breath.

Cullen: "I'm so sorry y/n"

You: "shh shh shh"

You cup his cheek and peck at his forehead.

You: "I'll just change the bedding tonight, okay?"

Cullen 'mhm's and nods, looking down still with an essence of shame. You let a few drops fill out the teaspoon and then bring the pads of your index and middle finger to lift his chin. His eyes fall shut and you instinctively brush the palm of your hand up the side of his face so that he leans into your touch.

You: "open"

You mumble softly and his trembling lips part so that you can spoon the medicine into his mouth.

You: "that'll help with the sweats"

You twirl the hair that flops over his face between your fingers.

Cullen: "Yes I- I'm feeling a little better already so, y/n... so please please please don't worry about me. Just give me a little bit and then we can carry on... celebrating"

He smirks at 'celebrating'. You smile back.

You: "You wanna tell me how your feeling?"

You ask as you shuffle yourself into a comfortable position next to him to make sure he doesn't get too hot. You lock your fingers with his as he begins to explain the best he can. You shut your eyes, deciding to let him mumble himself to sleep (as he would most definitely agree to go back to sleep if you were to outright tell him to).

Cullen: "This time is nowhere as bad as last time I got this..."

He rubs his temple and winces. His eyes shut and words lazy.

Cullen: "do you know what's rather odd about it, y/n?"

You: "what's that?"

Cullen: "I haven't had a dream in a long time and I feel like it's definitely somewhat related"

You: "how interesting"

Soon enough his sentences gave out halfway through until there was a complete absence of them. Replaced by soft snores and quiet whistles from his nose.

Chapter Three:

[d-dormant]

Hi, d-dormant. As a writer of an unfinished dark fantasy novel, I wonder if you can give me some advice for improving the atmosphere of my story. What is your main inspiration for writing: movies, songs, fairytales, or a little of everything? I found your stories very interesting and beautifully written (my favorite is Ornithology).

Greetings from Mexico.

Hi there!

Thank you very much! I'm glad you like my writing and I'm very touched by your ask! I'll try to answer as thoroughly as I can, hopefully it's not too overwhelming ahah

I'm inspired by a little of everything, but mostly by music, and making playlists helps tremendously to get both into the atmosphere and into the characters' heads.

So, as far as music goes, I can recommend various stuff, it depends on what you're into and what you're going for.

Folk music, especially with a medieval fleur. I'm probably the biggest Steeleye Span stan out there, can't recommend them enough! Also for medieval vibes — Anúna, William Lyons, TRÚ, Tannas, Méav, Мельница. And, if I may say, the "Sims Medieval" soundtrack slaps;

For that dark whimsical feeling in pop/indie — Kate Bush, Florence + the Machine, Weyes Blood, Aurora, Hozier, Bat For Lashes, Medicine Boy and many more;

Goth and etherial music is perfect for that dark spooky feeling — Faith and the Muse, Inkubus Sukkubus, classics like Joy Division and The Cure.

Literature is a great help for nice language, descriptions and mood. I usually collect phrases I liked in whatever I'm reading and use them for inspiration when I'm frustrated with my wording.

Classics like E. A. Poe, H. P. Lovecraft, fairytales by W. Hauff. V. Woolf has delicious language, and W. Scott's historical novels are good for trying to capture how people in the Middle Ages behaved and spoke;

Among Russian poets M. Y. Lermontov is one of my favourites in terms of language and expressions. Hard to choose one work, but here's "The Demon";

Sometimes inspiration strikes when I'm just researching stuff, and it often happens when reading "A Dictionary of Fairies" by K. M. Briggs and "The Celtic Twilight" by W. B. Yates.

I wish I watched movies more, but I'm usually too lazy for that and my taste is very shallow ahah So you might have seen most of these.

"Ophelia", "La Belle et la Bete" are as mid in plot as they are stunning in visuals;

"The Dark Crystal", "Labyrinth", "Pan's Labyrinth", "Willow", "Arthur and the Invisibles" are great for Weird Looking Guys;

"Excalibur", "A Midsummer's Night Dream" have that magical Glow to everything.

Caroon Saloon's animated films ("Wolfwalkers", "The Secret of Kells", "Song of the Sea") are gorgeous.

Can I recommend "Into the Woods", the musical?

But for descriptions I mostly rely on straight up pictures! I'm not naturally good at imagining things in my head, so sometimes a few pictures to go off of help me a lot. I have a Pinterest page with boards for the story itself and sometimes for a specific chapter as well. Just looking at a huge collage of different costumes and details, landscape photos, paintings and illustrations can get into the needed mood!

I hope this was helpful and not too much, I might've got too excited to list everything ahaha

Good luck with your writing!!! <3

[leylslikes]

jan 2023: final fantasy x (2001)

i'm on this little kick of revisiting properties that made me Feel Something when i was a kid and convinced me to go into media production in the first place, and at some point i realized that for how much i love and know about final fantasy ... i only ever played most of x-2, a chunk of ix, and the vincent spinoff that made me so motion sick i couldn't even get five hours in.

so! i picked up the x/x-2 remaster.

for a game old enough to drink in the states, the mechanics aged surprisingly well. the turn-based combat requires more prep than execution and is thoughtful and methodical, the sphere grid you use to level is really rewarding to traverse, and i love the melodrama of the summons. i did get a little annoyed with the sheer volume of random encounters, but you can always call tidus and flee.

the story is poetry to me, though. it's earnest in a way that i think was too cringe/goofy for 2001 (everyone's latched on to that damn laughing scene but it WORKS IN CONTEXT, i SWEAR), and i think it has to be earnest for the sake of its own narrative.

without spoilers (because i do actually want people to play this 20-year-old game), it's a story about a boy thrown out of time joining a young summoner on her pilgrimage to save the world from a creature called sin. this is the cycle of spira: there is a calm, and then sin returns to wreak havoc all over again. thematically it's a story about what happens when people refuse to let go and pass the torch, and the corruptibility of the human spirit. it's also a sweet little romance between two young heroes, and what love and hope can do to break a predestined cycle of divine tragedy.

would recommend to: people who love stories about dismantling norms, romance, found family, and earnestness.

some spoiler-y callouts for things i particularly loved under the cut

the hymn of the fayth. it fucks, hands-down, no questions asked.

i love the way the turn-based combat and the whole golden path through the temples supports the ritualistic nature of the pilgrimage.

SPEAKING of the RITUALS, the final battle with yu yevon, where you cycle through all your aeons and take them down as he possesses them, lives rent-free in my head. it's on rails! you can't die! it's literally just there to complete the ritual of the encounter and close out the emotional arc of the summoner's pilgrimage! and then yu yevon isn't even a human, he's that weird tick-looking thing because he is so far gone, his humanity is so eroded, all that remains is this drive to survive and the ghost of an idea that only he could solve the sins of spira.

the real final battle was with jecht. and it fucking owns. the metal soundtrack, the fact that tidus can derail his overdrive, it happening in a fucked up version of the zanarkand stadium. compliments to the chef.

auron is the saddest man in all of fiction. his sending made me bawl. what an arc. in a world where the villains are the ghosts of men who refuse to let go of their megalomania, he simply finishes his quest and says "it's been long enough." tearing up thinking about it!

i like the little post credits cutscene. it was enough for me. i would have been happy with that.

again: i LIKE the laughing scene. it's GOOD. i'm PRO.

the budding friendship between kihmari and tidus is everything to me. when tidus gets slightly behind the group on mt gagazet and seymour's melodramatic ass shows up? kihmari runs in and says "save some for kihmari???"

anyway it's a good game and on steam go play it

[bobgoesw00t]

Top 10 Video Games of All Time: bobgoesw00t Edition (Part 08)

Quick update before I get to my revealing my Number 3 Video Game of All Time! My immediate family is coming over on Christmas Eve and we're opening our presents that night, so I'll either be posting Number 2 then and Number 1 on Christmas, OR I'll be posting 2 on Sunday and 1 on Tuesday...OK now onto the actual game.

I had a hard time picking this one and I kept alternating between it and my Number 2 pick being in the other’s spot, but in the end I had to put the Game of the Year winner at The Game Awards 2022 here. So this means if you haven't heard by now, Number 3 goes to:

That's right, the MASSIVE behemoth from the brilliant (and partially masochistic) minds at FromSoftware that some people will say stole the GotY award from Dad of Boy Ragnarok, Elden Ring.

Now I feel like I need to mention that this is the first FromSoftware/SoulsBorne/Seikiro game I've legit owned, but I DID however play a bit of Dark Souls Remastered on my Switch to help prepare for when I started this game. I didn't beat Dark Souls (didn't even get past the first main area xD) but I got enough of a feel for it that I felt ready to tackle whatever The Lands Between.

And I did a good job...at first... I made a Warrior and made the mistake of going straight for Stormveil Castle and got my ass handed to me by Margit. SO after going, "FUCK THIS", I ran around the did stuff in the Weeping Peninsula and even opened that damn teleport trap in the Dragon-Burnt Ruins, ended up in Caelid and yeeted myself out of that damn mine ASAP. I eventually managed to get past Margit and cleared Stormveil Castle and headed into the next area (and discovered the hidden side route to it a bit later)...which is when it started to go south.

After a bit of struggling, I managed to get to Rennala and was able to kill her first stage without any struggle when OH BOY, SHE FUCKED ME UP IN THE SECOND STAGE!!!!! No matter what I tried, I couldn't kill her so I tried to find the back way to the Altus Plateau (cause I knew there HAD to be one as Liurnia and Caelid both had one) only to get stuck on one of the enemies and after 24 hours, I decided to make a different character (cause I had wanted to try out the magic in the game), made an Astrologer and in the end, she's the Tarnished who has since become Elden Lord twice (once with the Age of the Stars and again with the Age of the Duskborn). Already on my third run with her and I'm debating on which ending to go with but enough about MY journey.

People will tell you that Elden Ring is "HARD" just like the other FromSoftware games of late, but I'm here to tell you the game is only as hard as you make it 95% of the time. As long as you take your time going through areas, make sure not to over aggro and get overwhelmed, you won't have much of a problem taking out regular enemies. Bosses are a bit trickier obviously, but if you know how to exploit various parts of the game (the Bleed status can be VERY fucking powerful) and use the correct Spirit Ash Summon (those are in the game for a reason idiots who insist that they "break the game"), bosses can also be somewhat easier to kill.

The Lands Between are BEAUTIFUL (the only open world game that's prettier IMO is Ghost of Tsushima and dare I say it, the last three Assassin's Creed games), MASSIVE and full of locations to check out, which is one of the games main strengths. If you get stuck on a boss, back track a bit, explore a different part of the world, and come back when you've leveled up a bit and/or have upgraded your weapons. There's a high chance that you'll be able to kill the boss then and DAMN does it feel satisfying. Hell, you might do what I did on Haruka (my Astrologer) and spend so much time exploring other areas (I FINALLY found the back way onto the Altus Plateau and spent a good chuck on time up there. I also managed to find the greatest location in the entire game IMO: Dominula, Windmill Village...if you need any proof, I present the following video: https://youtube.com/watch?v=_JthoRyAb2Y&feature=shares) that when you go back to fight said boss, you'll be a bit OVER leveled and totally fuck them up...which is what happened to Rennala...and it was perfection!!!

There's also a large amount of weapons to try out and it won't be long before you find the one piece of equipment that you'll carry for the rest of the game. I ended up with Moonveil (fully upgraded to +10), and the Meteorite Staff to abuse it's boost to Gravity Magic...quite a few bosses don't stand a chance if you spam Rock Sling while using this staff. Spam the spell until you break their poise, run in for the Critical Hit, RUN AWAAAAAAAAAY, and then repeat until the boss goes "BLEH".

Armor, while not doing much at times, is also important at times as the passive increases to the resistance stats can make a big difference if Poison, Scarlet Rot and what not stack enough to be inflicted. Not to mention some of the armor is REALLY FUCKING COOL LOOKING, with my special shout-out going to the Black Knife Set for having a cloak that makes you partially invisible.

Then there's the various usable items and good god some of them are totally fucking hysterical...I'm talking of course about the Mimic's Veil, the item that turns you into a JPEG of a random object you'll find in the world. This is what got me to the Red Wolf of Radagon my first run! I tossed a throwing knife/dagger at a foe, broke line of sight, used the Mimic's Veil to hide and when the dumb ass came over to find me they go, "HMMM, THERE'S NOTHING HERE BUT A RANDOM TREE THAT SHOULDN'T BE HERE...OH WELL! I GUESS SHE'S GONE!", proceed to slowing walk away which is when I go "BAM", stab them in the back and they die. It's even funnier if you've been turned into a Weeping Angel like what happened to me one time: https://twitter.com/bobgoesw00t/status/1500987346421956613

I want to talk about the music now before I give the summary, some additional notes and the score. The various composers NAILED the soundtrack and I actually spent a good amount of time in the Character Creator the first time simply because of the pretty music that plays on it. The Final Battle track is STUPIDLY EPIC cause it's a more layered version of the Title Screen music and once it transitions to the Elden Beast, you hear a subtle, but still GORGEOUS bit of music that has a majestic feel to it, but NOTHING, and I mean, NOTHING can top the Regal Ancestor Spirit. HOLY MOTHER FUCKING HELL does that track give you goosebumps the first time you hear it. That boss fight isn't really that hard in comparison to some of the others due to how unique it looks and the music only helps make it the more memorable. I won't post a link to the track for those who haven't played the game cause I really don't want to spoil it for them.

Lastly, I want to talk about the two of the main boss fights, both of which are optional but are insane. Gonna talk about the badass bitch in The Lands Between first...you know her, you've talked about her, you've seen people rage quit/throw their controller/uninstall the game because of her, and just two weeks ago, Animal revealed that he thirsts for her at The Game Awards. I'm talking of course about none other than Malenia Blade of Miquella. A few months ago before G4 got shut down again, X-Play had an entire stream where Froskurrin tied for almost two hours to kill this badass mofo and she couldn't do it. My take on Malenia is this: don't even bother trying to kill her on your first run of the game. I managed to get to her on my first run, tried twice, and she fucked me up so quickly that I went, "NOPE!!! NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE, FUCK THIS, I'LL TRY IN THE NEXT RUN!!!!!" Which is when I nailed the Goddess of Rot and celebrated.

The other boss is probably the most epic fight in the entire game, the demigod that fought Malenia to a standstill and turned all of Caelid into a land of Scarlet Rot, Starscourge Radahn. What makes this battle so memorable is how you aren't supposed to take him on by yourself, but instead rally the various NPC allies to draw aggro away from you (even Patches who OF COURSE, nopes out of there within ten seconds of calling him xD) while they chip away at his health. Not to mention how the second phase starts with him leaping into the stratosphere, only to come CRASHING DOWN LIKE A METEOR and take out anyone dumb enough to be in the landing zone. This is also when you can totally cheese him by standing next to the edge of the ocean and if you position yourself correctly, you can get him to drown himself when he comes screeching back down to Earth. Now I have NO idea if they've patched this out yet (like they did with the two cheese methods the Fire Giant had) as I have yet to get to that fight in my current run of the game but if it's still there...I totally intend to do it. The battle is also hysterical in the fact that THE ENTIRE TIME you and your allies are fighting him, he's being carried around by a tiny, skinny horse that he is WAAAAY TOO BIG TO BE RIDING ON (and is only able to do so because of Gravity Magic) and it flails around like a Muppet every time it moves. Don't believe me, HERE'S THE PROOF: https://youtube.com/watch?v=OxvrVbV6RkU&feature=shares&t=588

In the end, Elden Ring TOTALLY deserved it's Game of the Year win at The Game Awards for not only having a MASSIVE world to explore with a large variety of places to explore, beautiful music, the traditional SoulsBorne combat with new additions (like being able to jump xD) and fine tuning to perfection. It also has a world created with help from George RR Martin, tutorials that are much clearer and can be re-read at any given time if need, abilities that are given at a good pace and some of the most intense boss fights ever. It certainly won my personal Game of the Year and is getting 5 Critical Hits out of 5: 5/5

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Dad of Boy/God of War (2018): While I'm talking about God of War Ragnarok, I want to mention the 2018 Game of the Year winner. Dad of Boy is a MASTERPIECE of story telling (a TRILLION times more so than the likes of Uncharted and The Last of Us. The latter being a good game with a good story, but it's nowhere NEAR a MASTER CLASS IN STORY TELLING. HELL, THE ORIGINAL RESIDENT EVIL ON THE PLAYSTATION HAS A BETTER STORY EVEN WITH THE CRINGEY DIALOG, "YOU WERE ALMOST A JILL SANDWICH" being a particular highlight xD), Atreus/Loki/BOY is a pure and precious cinnamon roll for most of the game and the fact that the entire game is done in a single take is impressive.

inFamous 2:Sucker Punch took everything from the first game, perfected it, upped the stakes in terms of the plot, gave it REALLY good soundtrack, a greater variety of powers (all of which are fun to use) and two endings totally worth playing this baby twice to get.

[chorusfm]

Liner Notes (May 18th, 2024)

Buckle up—we have a lot to discuss this week. This week’s supporter Q&A post can be found here. If you’d like this newsletter delivered to your inbox each week (it’s free and available to everyone), you can sign up here. A Few Things * One of the recent member-only episodes of the ATP podcast was all about “computer origin stories” or “first computer memories.” I’m roughly the same age as Casey and Marco and their core memories and histories mirrored mine quite a bit. And hearing them talk about their origin stories had me thinking about mine. My first memory of seeing a computer was in first grade when there was a computer in the elementary school library. Maybe an Apple IIGS? It was too long ago and I don’t know for sure. But a found family film makes it pretty clear I spent time with it. (Cool haircut first grade Jason.) I remember playing games like Carmen Sandiego. However, it wasn’t until middle school that my memories of using a computer start to solidify. I can remember vividly the computer labs at Twality Middle School. This is where I can remember my obsession beginning. At some point my parents bought a home computer for “the family.” It was a PC running DOS and Windows 3.1. Look, I’m very clearly old. I’m 41 and remember typing book reports on a typewriter before that computer. And this is when my obsession went into overdrive. I liked playing video games, what kid didn’t?, but I loved trying to figure out how all the software worked. I wanted to learn all the tips and tricks. I wanted to know how the system worked. Which meant I broke that computer. A lot. A lot a lot. I re-installed Windows on that thing from floppy disks more times than I can count. And this was where I first started playing around with Qbasic and did my first “programming.” My first memory of seeing the “internet” was at OMSI. My mom used to take my cousin and me there during summer vacation, and they had a computer lab. I remember downloading Simpsons WAV files and Dark Forces cheat codes, so this would have had to be around 1995, and I would have been around 14. At some point, breaking the family computer became a thing my parents got sick of, and my grandparents helped them purchase my own. Windows 95 and having my computer is where the already probably unhealthy technology obsession went supersonic. And this would be when I started playing around with HTML for the first time and soon after would begin writing what would turn into AbsolutePunk. That’s, best I can remember, my computing origin story. High school was primarily spent tinkering with PCs, installing various Linux distros, and using Windows throughout college. It wouldn’t be until around 2010 that I bought my first Mac. But, that’s probably a story for another time. * Anadivine was one of the hidden gems of the early 2000s scene, and they released a new 2024 remix/remaster of their album, Zoo_. It sounds great, and even if you never checked them out back in the day, it holds up all these years later. Also, if any labels read this and are interested in doing a limited vinyl pressing of the album, I can put you in contact with the band. Just let me know. * Aaron Mook, a contributor to AbsolutePunk and Chorus, has launched a GoFundMe to raise emergency medical funds for his cat. Please take a look if you’re able. In Case You Missed It * Review: Dua Lipa – Radical Optimism * Review: Keane – Hopes & Fears * Review: Broadway Calls – Coming After You * Review: Cold Years – A Different Life * Rise Against Announce New Tour * The Blood Brothers Announce Tour * Interview: Tony Lovato of Mest * The Used Announce B-Side Album * Alice Wallace – “Imposter” (Video Premiere) * Head Automatica – “Bear the Cross” * One OK Rock Announce World Tour * Avril Lavigne Announces Greatest Hits Album * Albums in Stores – May 17th, 2024 Music Thoughts * Lot’s of music to catch up on! Origami Angel released a new single, and it rules. I’m absolutely ready for a new Gami album. Their last… https://chorus.fm/features/articles/liner-notes-may-18th-2024/

[inversetwilight]

I'm sorry it took so long to post this chapter. Life has been super busy this past month. Here's a slightly longer chapter with some smut to make up for it. :)

Chapter Summary: Sera and Ellana spend some quality time together after foiling Grand Duchess Florianne's plans at the Winter Palace.

Let me know what you all think of it. Comments, Kudos, Likes and Reblogs are all super appreciated

Preview under the cut:

The whole night at the Winter Palace had been horrible for Ellana. The nobles treated her like garbage because she was an elf and she had just barely managed to stop the Grand Duchess from murdering the Empress in front of the whole court. She hated the politics of 'the Game' and she would have much rather fought her way through an entire army than deal with nobles and their social backstabbing.

She had felt like a mother of unruly children when she had tried to convince the three leaders to stop their arguing and work together for the good of Orlais. They had eventually come to an agreement after all of their lies were exposed, but Ellana was just exhausted after all it took to get to this point.

She just wanted to find a quiet place to relax, hopefully with a large glass of wine and her lover, Sera. She Scanned the ballroom full of people for the familiar head of blonde hair, but she couldn't find Sera anywhere. After a few passes through the room, she decided to just go relax on the balcony and let Sera find her. As she walked past a couple of nobles, she couldn't help but overhear some of their conversation.

"I cannot believe that the Inquisitor is a filthy Knife-Ear." The woman said.

"I know, it's such a disappointment." The man replied.

Ellana's face fell and she hurried to get out of the room before they saw her. Just as she reached the door to the balcony, she heard the woman shriek like she was being murdered and she turned around to see her covered in wine, her expensive dress completely ruined. Sera stepped out from behind her, laughing.

"Nobody calls my Buckles a Knife-Ear." Sera said before leaving the room to likely cause more mischief.

Ellana smiled to herself before leaving the room. She would likely have to kiss so much noble ass for the situation to blow over, but for now, she was just so happy to see that Sera had defended her honour. It was really sweet of Sera to do that for her, even though Sera had no idea that her lover had seen it.

Sera found Ellana out on the balcony half an hour later, just finishing up what looked like an important talk with Morrigan, the Inquisition's newest ally. Sera decided not to interrupt and just waited for them to finish their talk before she went to see her lover. As soon as Morrigan had walked past her and into the palace, Sera smirked to herself before bounding up to her girlfriend, leaning on the railing next to her and putting her arm around Ellana's shoulders.

"Hey, You. They brought out the booze and now a DeLauncet is chucking guts into Lord Some-Git's helmet. You're missing the fun part. What's wrong?" Sera asked.

"Sera, everything is just fine. I couldn't be happier." Ellana said, turning towards Sera and giving her a vibrant grin before continuing, "Actually, that's mostly because of you. I saw what you did to that noble who called me a Knife-Ear."

"And I'd do it again." Sera said, grinning proudly.

Continue Reading on AO3.

[blackenchanting]

Ravens burrough Remastered episode 1

February first. Year 2016. Location a few miles outside of ravens borough

warning this story is NSFW therefore not made for anyone under the age of 18. Ameila likes to swear

The roaring of engines came as a large airplane flew overhead. The silver and white flying coffin featured a red stripe down the side and four main engines, two on each wing. It flew closer to an airport below inside a detective laid in his seat with a hat over his head snoring silently when he was disturbed by a noise

"Attention passengers we are approaching our destination please be patient while I land this bird. Thank you for flying unnamed american airlines and welcome to ravens burrough" the captain said

"Probably should stop watching movies and reading a book while drunk, that was a weird fuckin dream." Rob said, adjusting his hat.

The plane flew over the airport as a beaten, worn down black 1972 chevy el camino with racing stripes on the hood drove past the front gate greeting the world with a bang from the tailpipe while turning to park alongside the airport. Stoping beside the super modern style airport with a magnet on the bumper that said 'honk if you wanna fuck… no seriously'

After the plane had landed

The detective was wearing a black suit with a beige trench coat over it. That made him look like he'd just stepped out of the 1940's stood outside the airport clearly far more modern than him as a gust of wind blew the hat off his head and away as he stood there without a care.

"Well that's number four. Probably should stop buying hats." The detective said, adjusting his tie. While His eyes gazed upon his surroundings it was good to be home then his eyes landed on the el camino with a pink haired cat girl dressed in a red jacket and daisy dukes with a guitar over her back laying against it and facing the opposite direction and the distant sound of the radio playing from the open window "hey there Delilah what's it like in New York city.. I'ma thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty" a muffled voice sang from the radio.

"New York city sucks ass, and I think I'm part of the mob now, I have no fuckin idea." The detective said walking over to the el camino.

The girls head slowly moved back and forth to the music as she could be heard humming to herself

"Oi! Jailbird!" The detective said. Causing the girl to jump as she admitted a loud cat shreaik. Before turning, revealing a set of aviators on her face and placing a silver and green prosthetic left arm on the hood of the car. In a manner that wasn't thrilled about being scared

"What? Not expecting to be called that?" The detective asked.

"No.. I wasn't expecting you to yell" she said.

"Well sorry, you weren't paying attention." The detective said.

"Thats alright.. I suppose my ears are sensitive" she said rubbing them.

"Sorry Ameila, that's what happens when you don't notice that I was talking." The detective said.

"I'm gonna get you back and you are not gonna like it" Ameila said, opening her car door.

"Oh lord no." The detective said getting in the car

"He ain't got nothing to do with this" Ameila said getting in

"And now I'm even more concerned." The detective said.

The inside of the car was a lot better than the outside with a full leather bench seat. The shifting stick was long and had an 8-ball on top and an air freshener that looked like a snake oil bottle hung from the rear view mirror. With not an ounce of trash to be found.

"Let's get this show on the road already I've had to wear this fuckin outfit for like a week straight." The Detective said. As Ameila laid her guitar behind the seat

"Alright I'm going I'm going no need to be pushy Rob." she said placing her prosthetic hand on the wheel and her right hand on the gear shift and her foot on the brake. And pushing it into drive as they took off. Her movements were a bit restricted but she could still drive fairly well.

"Sorry. Sorry, just excited to be home again." Rob said.

"I understand that, though sometimes you just gotta sit back and enjoy the ride." Ameila said, pulling up to the front gate. She placed her good hand on the radio knob and turned it with a bang from the exhaust the car swerved onto the road.

"I'm gonna enjoy the ride, but I'm more interested in the destination really." Rob said.

"Good ol unknown town USA" Ameila said.

"That's the worst nickname for the town ever." Rob said.

"What would you call it. We can't use weirdest little town in the USA" Ameila said

"Hmm. Good point." Rob said. as they past a rundown gas station called two point gas and go

"Loneliest little town in the USA?" Ameila asked shifting gear

"Definitely not. There's a shit load of couples and families." Rob said.

"No wait I got it" Ameila said

"We should call it unknown town USA!" She added.

"Perfect!" Rob said.

"Anyway so how was it" Ameila asked

"Eh, not much of interest really. Turns out the guy I was looking into joined the mob to support his family here and he doesn't want them mixed up in all that." Rob said.

"Guess it really is a small world huh" Ameila said

"Now he owes me several favors because of things I'm not legally allowed to disclose." Rob said.

"What the hell did you do this time" Ameila said

"Dealt with a human trafficking operation." Rob said

"Involving?" Ameila asked

"Not the mob if that's what you're asking. Chinese triads. Nasty business." Rob said.

"Ah then I guess I don't need to use the toy in the glove box then" Amelia said

"Like I said the mob owes me favors, they were adamant about getting rid of that operation. The guy in charge is actually a lot more level headed and actually has mostly respectable ethics." Rob said. Opening the glove box out of curiosity as a silver Smith and Wesson Model 500 fell in his lap

"OH! I see. I prefer mine though." Rob said

"Dont let it fool you that baby packs a punch. Now please put it back" Ameila said

"It's a model 500, of course it packs a punch. I prefer a 45 though, they also pack a punch but don't result in insane recoil." Rob said, putting the gun back.

"I prefer my Smith and Wesson Model 500. Because I don't even have to shoot it to scare people off" Amelia said

"Fair." Rob said.

"I won that baby at the craps table" Ameila said

"That sounds like a lie Eva used. At least twice. In fact, didn't you tell me you won it in a game of corn hole?" Rob asked.

"Could have sworn I said I won it at a knife throwing game at a fair" Ameila said

"That was another one. Blackjack, poker, backgammon, fuckin trivia. Shit you not fuckin scrabble." Rob said.

"I won it somewhere k? I've forgotten over the years" Ameila said

"Yeah. I know." Rob said. As the truck car hybrid flew down the a small hill and drove next to a large river driving towards a small plaza

"Are you hungry?" Ameila asked

"God yes." Rob said.

"Thrill Grill" it is Ameila said turning into the drive through and pulling around to the menu

"Double bacon cheeseburger." Rob said.

"Good choice" Ameila said

"Hi welcome to thrill burger! How can we serve you today" a voice asked

"One The Road Not Bacon. With extra bacon. And two Cheddar Late Than Nevers with a large fry and. Large coke… you want a drink" Ameila asked

"Make that two large cokes, one with no ice." Rob said.

"And another large coke with no ice" Ameila added

"Alright that's one The road not Bacon. With extra bacon. Two cheddar late than nevers a large fry and two large Cokes one without ice" the voice asked

"That is correct." Ameila replied

"Twenty dollars first window please" the voice said

"Awesomeness." Rob said.

"My wallets in the glove box. Can you get it please and not let my gun come flying out?" Ameila asked

"Here." Rob said, handing her a twenty dollar bill from his wallet.

"Absolutely fucking not" Ameila said rejecting it

"What I'm offering to pay as thanks for picking me up." Rob said, grabbing Ameila's wallet anyway.

Which was long half black half white with a yin yang on it

"Dude I got more money than I know what to do with" Ameila said

"Fair enough." Rob said.

Soon they were back on the road and they passed a sign that said Welcome to Ravens Borough, Oregon. The perfect place to start a family

"Gooood morning Ravens burrough and Ravens claw this is your host Jack mickfinagen bringing you the news. Today's forecast is sunny with a high of 63 an. Later tonight we'll be reviving a visit from our old friend the purple fog. And if you're feeling bored. This weekend is the annual anniversary of our town. Come on down to Raven's burrough national park and learn about your founding mother and receive a speech from local mayors elizabeth morningstar and Athena morningstar. There will be games and free food. And rides " An enthusiastic male voice said over the radio. As the el camino drove through town coming to a stop outside a modest yet still rundown two story detectives office

"I am so gonna need to change jobs at some point because that place could collapse whenever." Rob said.

"Looks fine to me it just has abit of character" Ameila said

"It definitely does." Rob said. Opening the door to get out as a bucket of water fell on his head

"How in the hell did that even happen." Rob said.

"Life is full of many mysteries" Ameila said taking off

"Well at least I have another reason to get out of this outfit." Rob said entering the office to see a five foot two albino woman with shoulder length hair wearing a black sweater, jeans and red and black striped socks that go up behind the jeans sitting on his desk.

"Welcome home, looks like I'm not the only one who's wet." The woman said with a giggle as Rob casually walked over and kissed her.

"Fuck I missed you Eva." Rob said as the woman wrapped her arms and legs around him.

"And I missed you too." Eva said.

"I'm glad to be back. New York was… interesting. Dealt with a human trafficking operation, helped the guy that was worried his wife was cheating on him. That's gonna take a long while to explain to his wife." Rob said.

"Stop talking. I'm already wet." Eva said as Rob picked her up and carried her up the stairs to their apartment.

Ameila's feet slapped through the water under her while she walked away from her car and through an alley way wearing an old barmaid outfit with the color scheme dark red and white. Turning left as she came to a set of stairs that were hidden and didn't stand out against the alleyway and slowly made her way down. Reaching the bottom where she turned her head to the left where a medium sized led sign flickered and buzzed with the words Hearts of Steel on it.