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organic-guacamole · 4 years ago

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am i really about to make some portwell headcanons/prompts rn?

yes. yes i am.

I like the idea of them thinking that they're just really close best friends and everyone else can see that they like each other. Like they're all close and couply but when someone asks they're like "oh no we're just besties" and then at some point someone (probably Ashlyn) is like, "yeah ok so you guys are practically married already, everyone else can see that you're both whipped for the other"

If Gina wears the Duke sweatshirt and someone's like "oh is that your boyfriend's?" and she's like "nah my best friend gave it to me" and they're like "...your "best friend" gave you his hoodie from an elite university....just because?" and she's like🧍🏽‍♀️

If EJ's dad wants the hoodie back since it's like a family thing (EJ's grandpa gave it to his dad) and EJ's looking for it and when he sees it on Gina he's just like "oh it's ok you look cute in it" and then just tells his dad he lost it and just faces the consequences.

It starts with EJ coming over to actually talk to Ashlyn, but after a while, he starts coming only when he knows that Ashlyn isn't home and Gina is. And Gina's just like "Oh well come on in, I'm sure she'll be home soon" everytime, and they just have the best time and play board games and watch movies while they "wait for Ashlyn". At some point Ashlyn notices and keeps setting up chances for portwell to spend time together and they're like "Damn Ashlyn sure is busy these days" and all the while Ashlyn is recruiting Big Red to help her plot more ways to get them together.

Or if EJ and Gina start off as study buddies for a subject EJ's good at but Gina needs help with. And after a while they just start doing all their subjects together (look I know that they're 2 grades apart but just imagine that EJ's helping her with sophomore English because he's really good at it, and she's super advanced in math so she helps him out in that aspect) and even start studying their lines for the musical together and they keep thinking they're always happy with each other because they've sort of been partners in crime since Gina moved there, the the theatre kids™ know.

They have some sort of home economics project together (please ignore that logistically it makes no sense for a senior and a sophomore to be partnered together.) and in my mind, 1 of 2 things can happen.

1. That baby practice parenting exercise. Gina would be kind of like, "it's just a doll, relax" but EJ goes all out. He doesn't like to use the debit card his dad pays for but this is important. He's gotta make sure the baby is the best of the class. He buys all sorts of things that aren't necessary and makes sure to maintain a strict schedule for the baby doll. He even buys Gina some things because "you were just in labour for 18 hours, you deserve to rest". Gina finds this hilarious and says "If this is how you're going to treat your wife and kids, they're really lucky" and EJ just blushes because this is what he wants in his future, he's happy with Gina and wants the best for her.

2. A baking on a budget assignment. They've got 20 dollars to make the best dessert that can think of, so Gina finds a good recipe and makes a detailed list of all the shops they can go to to get the best deals on the ingredients. She was very meticulous in her research, making EJ drive 2 miles away just to save a few cents on milk. EJ jokes around in the store while she compares cocoa powder prices, "jimmies, we need rainbow jimmies", Gina looks up at him exasperatingly, "those are 75 cents per jar, put it back" and EJ gets on his knees in the middle of the aisle and begs like a 4 year old asking for candy. Gina's getting embarrassed by the scene he's causing, and gives in reluctantly. They leave the store with EJ smiling smugly, and Gina still half annoyed, half endeared.

After EJ's dad revealed his nickname in front of the class, Gina teases him constantly.

Miss Jenn: "hey does anyone know where EJ is?" Gina: "oh I know where *eej* is"

*finds EJ in the library or something* "hey *eej*, Ms Jenn's looking for you"

And she absolutely LOVES how he blushes when she calls him that. It's her favourite way to get him flustered, until they're hanging out and her mom calls her and when she answers, EJ hears her call Gina, "Gigi" and he just *loves* that. Now it's an inside joke where they call themselves Gigi and eej.

At some point, EJ tells Gina about when he wrote a billion sorrys for Nini and Gina thinks it's so funny and really wants him to sing it but he doesn't want to. Then for her birthday, when her mom can't make it back to salt lake because of her job, EJ rewrites the lyrics to fit her better and performs it for her to cheer her up.

ok that's all for now, I really just hopped on the portwell train lol

now if only I could write some of these 😬

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #hsmtmts season 2 #ej caswell #gina porter #portwell makes me happy #portwell ftw #portwell #its late at night so my apologies if it doesn't make sense

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whoreshijima · 4 years ago

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👉👈 Can I have...Matsukawa pweaaassee 🥺 and like....Sfw please...I need comfort...My mom has been saying mean things to me (whether it would be about my grades/how I look) and I just want cuddles please 👉👈🥺 if that's fine? Also...I love your work 🙆

Of course you can bby 🤍🥺 I hope you feel better soon, I know you’re beautiful and so so smart 🤍 (defo smarter than I am lmao) YOU GOT THIS 🥺🤍

Issei has been trying to call you and FaceTime you for an hour now, each time being hung up on or met with a message of “not now, I’m busy.” He knew something was up, you were never blunt with him or denied his calls, he knew it was your mum again, winding you up ‘if you don’t answer me in 2 minutes I’m driving over’ he sends the text, already grabbing his keys and making his way to the car.

Sighing at the message, you fall back onto your bed and groan, you were done with the comments that your mum threw in your direction at any given chance. Five minutes have gone by when you phone vibrates against your sheets, picking up hesitantly you answer the call “hey Issei..” “I’m outside, cmon we’re going for a drive” you’re silent for a minute, giggling when the next sentence leaves his mouth “get your cute butt out here or I’m coming in” you cant help but grin, pulling on some shoes and wandering out to the car.

The sun was setting, the golden light glowing on his face so beautifully. His hair a disheveled mess atop his head, dressed in comfy clothes his arms open for an embrace. Without hesitation you bury your face into his chest, taking in the scent of his aftershave and laundry detergent “Hey baby...” he mutters, placing a kiss to the top of your head, opening the car door for you. “Get in, we’re getting food and driving around” he winks at you, jogging round to his side of the car.

A strong hand is placed on your thigh as the car gets in motion, your favourite playlist is playing in your ears quietly from his speakers. You can hear his deep voice humming along to the tune and you suddenly feel at peace, the stress of your mum and the comments she makes, flowing from your mind. “I love you, Issei, thank you” He Throws a smile your way, fingers tapping against your thigh. “I love you more” he chuckles and pulls into the drive through.

He orders and pays, handing the warm food to you gently, met with a kiss to your lips when you meet halfway across the dash board. “So beautiful” he whispers, putting the car into drive and turning the music up, screaming along to your favourite song. You think to yourself, you don’t want anything other than this. You don’t want anyone else screaming along to your playlist as you eat shitty food. Issei is the only one for you. He catches you staring at him once he’s pulled up to your usual spot, a slight blush creeping up his cheeks “what?” He questioned, shovelling fries into his mouth with a grin. You shake your head, giggling and rolling your eyes “nothing you dork, I just love you”

You know he loves you back by the way his tongue pokes out to tease you, rolling his eyes at you “ew, cringe” but the way his hand meets yours, how your fingers link so easily together. He’s the only one for you.

I hope this was what you were after! Getting take out and blasting music with Issei sounds so good rn 🤍

#matsuwaka issei #matsuwaka x reader #mastsuwaka #issei #hq #Haikyuu #haikyuu!!#Haikyuu x yn #Haikyuu x reader #fluff #Haikyuu fluff

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sparkles-and-trash · 5 years ago

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South Park Main 5, Headcanons Masterpost ~

Stan Marsh

Looks:

hair is actually nice and somewhat floppy naturally, but because he wears a hat most of the time, it’s usually flat and a little greasy kshdhsd

hair is that blue-ish black color

eyes is piercing ice blue

skin is light, kind porcelain like, but he also tans really fast?

soft sweaters are the only thing he’ll wear from early autumn to late spring

in summer he’ll literally only wear band shirts and flannels lol

Personality and General Trivia:

totally cares more for animals than most people let’s be real

sometimes he struggles with seeing things from others point of view and ha can come across as a little self centered

he is aware of it tho and tries to be better at it

his instagram is filled with Sparky haha

let’s Sparky sleep in his bed every single night even tho Sharon tells him not to

likes reading and writing, has a tiny obsession with dark themes and Lovecraftian stuff

he and Kenny volunteers at the local pet shelter and homeless shelter together

the pet shelter was Stan’s idea, and the homeless shelter was Kenny’s

wants to be edgy but is really just very soft

“Kyle said...”

believes everything Kyle tells him lol

enjoys video games a lot, prefers single player, story based ones tho

also still enjoys boardgames a lot, and when the big group isn’t up for hit, he, Tweek, Jimmy, Butters and Cartman groups together to nerd it out

has clinical depression, but is managing it with help of a therapist, his mom and friends

sometimes things gets pretty dark, but he is getting better at reaching out and asking for help in those times

Friendships:

like I mentioned above, he struggles a bit with seeing things for other’s point of view

but he is aware of his flaws and is trying to be better

can get a little bit caught up in his own drama, but listens when his friends tells him he needs to get over himself

will always stand up for his friends, especially if they’re not there to do it themselves

when he starts getting closer with Butters in early high school he gets really upset when he realizes how much he gets shit-talked

enjoys spending time with his friends individually, probably the most of the group, and takes initiative to do so a lot

which is very important to Kenny, since he tends to feel a little overlooked sometimes, and it makes their friendship really strong

same with Butters, except Butters doesn’t usually doesn’t mind mainly being in a group, but the first few times and Stan hangs out alone it’s obvious he really appreciates it

Family:

daddy issues

sorry I don’t make the rules lol

has a decent relationship with Sharon tho

she’s a good mom

and he wants to be a good son

Shelly is still kinda angry and scary

she keeps the “only I can beat you up bro” attitude and there is secretly mutual respect there

but we don’t talk about that!!!

Ships and relationships:

okay so my main ships for him are stutters (Butters), stenny (Kenny) and Style (Kyle)

my fav is stutters tho

I usually head canon him as bi or pan, but as with everyone in SP, I’m open to different interpretations if different Au’s and stories!

I just really like the idea of them learning to balance facing their issues AND celebrate the good things in life together

I def think he can be a bit insecure in relationships, struggling with feeling like he’s not enough, and would need a partner that naturally will be affirming and positive

that’s not to say he’s super needy or clingy, he’s just a bit insecure

but I really think he would truly be a good partner

he’s caring, kind and very appreciative

which is again why I really like him with Butters offh

Kenny McCormick

Looks:

sandy blonde hair that’s always messy and floppy/softly curled

teeth is kind of crooked due to lack of funds for braces

his front teeth are kinda big and has a significant gap

lots and lots of freckles man

all over his face, shoulders, back, hands and arms

tans fast

I actually really like him with brown eyes? like, soulful deep brown eyes

but also very, very clear blue ones, like almost unnatural (yes that’s a mysterious thing)

medium tall

wears his hoodies, usually with the hood up, no matter if it’s freezing or a heatwave

not conventionally attractive, but charming looking lol

likes to wear some eyeliner every now and then

and nail polish, but it’s like super clumsily put on and always chipped

Personality and General Trivia:

falls asleep in class a lot, but always seems to know the answer if the teacher asks him something

also has decent grades

I think he’s way smarter than he gives himself credit for, both socially and school wise

the therapist of the groups

actually, the therapist of the whole school

knows a lot of secrets due to this, but he always, ALWAYS keeps them

I see him as very friendly and approachable, but terribly hard to get close with

lots and lots of walls, man

very much an observer type?

quietly stays in the background if that’s an option

but if he is talked too, or feels like he has something to really contribute to in a conversation he’ll jump in and be comfortable talking and taking up space if he is with friends or people he knows

if not, he’ll just stay in the background with that.... look on his face that just makes you know he knows more than he says

works at Tweek’s parents coffee shop, is kinda close with Tweek because of this

zones out a lot

“…what?”

can fall asleep anywhere

Friendships:

is pretty close friends with Butters!

Butters used to have a little crush on him, but Kenny didn’t find out until years later lol

he also has a lot of patience with Cartman compared to the others

which is why Cartman actually cares when Kenny sets him in his place

likes learning new things, and does that with Kyle a lot!

both school and homework stuff, and things like cooking and other homey stuff, the two of them really bond with this

him and Stan volunteer together, and I already mentioned, and that time means a lot to Kenny

since he works with Tweek, the two of them are pretty close and good friends

is the one of the main boys who gets along the best with Craig and those guys

actually hangs out with them from time to time, so does Butters

it low-key drives the others crazy

Family:

I often like to think his parents would keep having these bursts where they try to get their shit together?

and it’s slow, and one step back and two backwards, but the fact that they’re trying at all means a lot to the kids after years of them... not

I can also see Kevin stepping up and taking more charge, Kevin get’s way too little love in this fandom!

Kenny usually never fights with his sibs

but when he does it’s with Karen, usually because he’s worried about her and it’s nor pretty

none of them can stay mad at each other for long tho

Kevin trying to be all “big brother” and kinda failing because he is chaotic, but he really wants to do right and Karen and Kenny knows that and appreciates it

Ships and relationships:

ohhh kay here we go, unpopular opinions ahead!

first, my main Kenny ships are Tokenny (Token x Kenny) and Stenny

rn Tokenny is my main, I love the potential dynamics, both with their personalties and backgrounds and families

I tend to head canon him as pan or bisexual, and demiromatic

I know the demiromantic part is... controversial, at best

but hear me out!

I see him being very comfortable with discussing sexual stuff, and being attracted to someone physically is never something he feels awkward or bad about

but when it comes to more emotional connections, he is way more awkward and fumbling

for those who doesn’t know, a demiromatic person (like myself! surprise!) won’t have crushes or romantic feelings for someone they don’t already have some form of emotional bond with! We can still feel sexual attraction tho, and some of us are comfortable with casual sexual encounters (like me!) and others are not, and both are very valid!

I usually have two ways of writing him

either him being comfortable having casual sexual interactions, but struggling with the romantic aspect and having to figure out how this works for him

him having some trauma related to debating sexually very early, thinking he was all ready and it was just sex, but getting his emotions caught up in it and being very heartbroken and confused, and therefore having issues with being intimate with people for a while

I mix them up depending on the story, but the first one is usually my go-to!

Kyle Broflovski

Looks:

he still covers his hair a lot, either with hats or hoods?

because I really see him being insecure about it

it’s a medium sort of red, and like, really curly and fluffy

not frizzy, big like... big

I usually give him green eyes, but I also could see him with a light brown or hazel!

some light freckles on his face that only really shows up if he’s spent time in the sun

pretty tall, kind of lanky

d i m p l e s

Personality and General Trivia:

big nerd energy

in every way, board games, video games, loves school, like genuinely, enjoys studying for tests, loves fantasy books, the longer and more complicated the better

co-captain of the debate team with Wendy

is good with arguments unless he gets too passionate on the subject, or if someone knows his weak points and uses them to tick him off

it’s usually Cartman

his mom wants him to go to an Ivy League but honestly he just wants to go to the same one in Denver as Stan, Butters and Cartman are planning on, and now that Kenny is also considering it he seriously think he’ll die if all his friends go to the same college without him

he struggles with FOMO, which is kind of an issue since he’s a busy guy, and some of his friends are not lol

if any one of these kids become a jock, it’s def Kyle with his basketball change my mind-

but not like, a letterman wearing fuckboy type of jock, but like, is obsessed with his sport and his team and works really hard to do well type of jock

Friendships:

very loyal

he and Stan walks Sparky together at least twice a week, just to be sure they’re always caught up with each other even when they’re busy with school, sports and dating

yeah they’re still super best friends

when they started high school he got closer to Wendy as she’s also on the debate team, in all of his AP classes and they share a lot of the same interests

they’re still good friends, but nothing more

the first time Cartman got really drunk was at a party freshman year, and at the time everyone was pretty fed up with him, and he ended up crying and Kyle found him, and Cartman thinks Kyle doesn’t remember, but he does

that was the first night Kyle really kinda understood why Cartman was the way he was, and even though he still thinks he’s a dick at times, he tries to remember everyone have a story, and to give people time

but he often gets too riled up to remember that lol

good pals with Jimmy, they share a lot of interests in fantasy stuff and have the same humor

he also start to go along well with Craig when they are around middle school age, but they’re both kinda too stubborn to admit they’re friends until a year later lol

Family:

even tho Sheila is pretty overbearing and can be too much, he is a mommy’s boy deep down

tense relationship with his dad

enjoys cooking, so that’s where he spends a lot of time with his mom!

tries his best to keep up with Ike and his life

sometimes he is a tad cringy when doing so, but Ike appreciates the gesture

Ike is pretty confident and strong in himself so he doesn’t care if Kyle is a bit awkward lol

the type of brothers who genuinely enjoys spending time together

Ships and relationships:

I like Style, Kyman, K2 and Kyvid!

I think he’d be a late bloomer when it comes to love and dating

struggles with opening up and letting himself feel these things

I often think of him as biromantic asexual, but I’m not always set on it!

he’d enjoy traditional dinner and a movie type of dates a lot, such a nerd

Eric Cartman

Looks:

keeps his hair cut pretty short and styled

has heterochromia iridium (different colored eyes), one blue and one brown

also he has a real nice smile when it’s a genuine one

which is rare but like

it happens

is kinda insecure about his weight and tries to compensate with always having the newest stuff and pretending not to care

sometimes tries to diet in secret

he isn’t huge anymore, but is still sort of broad, and isn’t skinny, but like..

kinda bulky, if he wears the right type of clothes it’s hard to see if he’s chubby or buff

but he is def chubby

Personality and General Trivia:

spends way to much time on reddit arguing with randoms

angry gamer, will call you a slur on voice chat

after almost getting dropped by his friends in middle school he tries a little harder to be a more decent person

still an asshole at heart, but like, an asshole who sometimes cares about some people

always tells people that’s he’s seen that meme before, even when he hasn’t

nothing is ever his fault and the only ones who can get him to admit he’s wrong are Kenny and, very, very rarely, Kyle

he wears supreme hoodies for a full year of High School and stands in line all night for the new ones and never shuts up about how he is the first in South Park to have the new stuff

Kenny finds it hilarious to buy the fake supreme stickers and put then on his own worn out hoodies

Kyle makes it his main goal in life to put things (everything from used gym socks to old food he finds in his locker) in Cartmans hoods and see how long it takes for him to notice

can’t handle alcohol, is constantly being teased for it

sloppy drunk lol

one of the main reasons the other bothers with Cartman trough middle school, when he is at his worst, is because of his big basement, the old Coon Lair, who got a big renovation around 7th grade and is an awesome, private hangout spot with a big TV and wifi and gaming systems

Friendships:

constantly says he hates his friends but would die if everyone left him

is secretly terribly jealous of Kyle, both his closeness to Stan, his basketball skills, his grades and his family

but they had that thing in Freshman year when Kyle found him drunk, alone and sad, and Cartman himself barely remembers it, and doesn’t think Kyle does because he never mentioned it

but he does

so much tension there, but also co-dependency

sees Kenny and Butters as his best friends, and knows deep down neither of them feel that way about him and it secretly kills him

is in the same board game group with Stan

is low-key terrified of Tweek lol

Family:

big mommy issues

but also very protective of her

I really enjoy the AU/headcanon that Liane marries Clyde’s dad

it’s not like, the only version I like, but I put it in as many au’s and works of mine as I can

I def think both boys would be mortified right away

but Clyde comes around first, because he really wants a brother, even if that brother have to be Cartman

Cartman would never admit it, but after some time he really starts to see Clyde as a brother and genuinely cares for him

Ships and relationships:

I mainly see Cartman as gay

sometimes I start of AU’s and stories with him not being out to himself or anyone else tho, I think that whole journey for him will be very interesting and help him grow as a person

I def think he’d have a few girlfriends before he comes out tho?

he can be very charming when he wants too yanno

my only Cartman ship is kyman atm, but I’m def open to explore more of

Leopold Butters Stotch

Looks:

I really really really like T A L L Butters???

like tall and gangly and adorable

I know it’s very popular to head canon that he bleaches his hair, but I like to think he has very light blond air naturally!

keeps it short on the sides and longer on top, with cute ass curls

soft sky blue eyes

also dyes his bangs light blue in high school!!

Pete the goth helps him because he is a pro of dying bangs

I like to think he’d be into pastel grunge, and keep his love for Hello Kitty and Sanrio etc, but still be a bit more... edgy?

Personality and General Trivia:

one of those people who’s friendly with almost everyone

but that doesn’t mean he’s friends with them, yanno?

gets drunk from one wine cooler

loves the theater and is in the drama club, but likes to be behind the stage, not on it

wants to be a director one day

watches Netflix on his phone every single time he has any time to spare, because he’s always binging a show

is usually pretty positive and kind, gives people the benefit of the doubt

but can be very stubborn, and if he has decided he dislikes or doesn’t trust someone, it’s almost impossible to change his mind

Friendships:

Butters put up with Cartman for so long because he genuinely thinks he can be fun when he’s not horrible, and he really tries his best to believe in people

he was also the first one to forgive him after the others cut him off

a very loyal and fun friend

takes a lot of initiative to do stuff, and loves hosting movie nights

thinks of these boys as his closest friends, but is also real close to Wendy, Bebe, Jimmy and Tweek

Family:

I just hate Stephen so much you guys

so tbh I usually like to just... have Linda leave him, or straight up kill him off oops

I know Linda is terrible too, I do, but I think she could possibly have a moment of realization if something happens like Butters potentially being taken away?

idk I’m not gonna go too deep into this, I know it’s such a heavy topic and I don’t wanna seem like I just ignore it, but I personally don’t usually include Stephen directly in my stories, and this is why, I hope y’all understand and respect that!

Ships and relationships:

my main Butters ship is Stutters (Stan x Butters)

I mentioned a lot why in Stan’s headcanons?

but idk, I just really think they’d balance each other well, and could have a very interesting and cute relationship!

I usually headcanons him as pan or gay, and genderqueer, but I’m open for other interpretations too!

he does date a little bit, but have never been in a real relationship and isn’t stressing about it!

he did have a pretty huge crush on (a very unaware) Kenny during middle school, but then they started hanging out a lot more and became really close and Butters didn’t really bring it much thought?

that’s until Cartman gets jealous and throws out a “what are you guys dating and fucking and being gay huh???” and Butters mind immediately goes to “omg ew no he’s like my brother!”

aaand that’s how Butters realized he was over his crush

they two of them stay close friends tho, Kenny makes Butters laugh and helps him be more sure of himself and Butters helps Kenny remember that they’re still just kids and should have fun and be good

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bettsfic · 4 years ago

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february pinned: the real & the ideal

in this month’s edition of my lowkey writing-related newsletter, in addition to my writing-related post roundup and consultation availability, i have short story recommendations for you and an essay on the nature of reality in fiction!

if you want to receive my lowkey writing-related newsletter directly, you can subscribe here.

in other news, i finished two fics this month:

digging for orchids (hualian, 43k, explicit, fake marriage au)

let ruin end here (hualian, 8k, mature, neighbors au)

full newsletter below the cut, or you can read it here.

oof,

what a month. january is already a rough time. throwing in a pandemic, a coup, and an economic revolution spearheaded by reddit just seems unfair. as for me personally, the spring semester came at me fast and even though it’s only week 2, i am already buried in grading. which i realize is my fault, considering i’m the one who assigned homework.

so after hearing your feedback, i thought i’d make this newsletter even more writing-related by writing more about writing. this month i’ll start off by talking about the nature of reality in fiction in a segment i call “been thinkin a lot about.” more on that below.

new resource

i’ve compiled a folder of PDFs of the short stories i teach most often, which is to say, the stories i like enough to re-read every semester. most of them are literary fiction but a few veer into fantasy, sci fi, and horror.

i know before the MFA, i didn’t really know what a short story was. like i knew, abstractly, the concept of a short story (it is as it sounds), but i could only list a couple i’d ever read as an adult, and i hadn’t read anything that had been published in the last decade. i remember wondering why i was even being asked to care about short stories. who writes short stories? who reads them? apparently, a lot of people. short storyists are a lot like fanwriters in that they make no money and when you talk about your writing in public, people give you that “why would anyone waste their time with that?” look.

so here’s why i was asked to care about short stories: a good short story gives you the entirety of a world in a very condensed space. moreover, it can sometimes leave you as satisfied as a novel in a fraction of the reading time. all the stories i’ve compiled here are ones that stuck with me, that i find myself recommending over and over to writers who want a good example of developing character, or weird narration, or establishing stakes.

if you’re a writer considering publication or an MFA in creative writing, i highly recommend familiarizing yourself with short stories, if for no other reason than to get the feel for them so you can write some of your own. if you can get a few short story publications under your belt, it’ll be easier to open doors when you’re ready to query agents for a novel. also, short stories make a great writing sample for grad programs, workshops, fellowships, residencies, and grant funding.

if you want to check out more short stories but have no idea where to start, the 2020 best american short stories just dropped in november, or if you want a cheaper one, used copies of 2019 and earlier are available on thriftbooks. if you want an overview of the history of the (american) short story, there’s also the best american short stories of the century. fair warning, though, while it’s more diverse than expected, it’s still a bit heavy on dead-white-dude writing.

content warning: the stories in the above-linked folder may depict instances of sexual assault, suicide, and/or abuse. i have not labeled them individually with warnings but i hope to soon, as well as provide a catalog with summaries.

i’m also still working on my essay and novel recs. more to come on that hopefully next month.

writing-related posts

how i quit my banking job to do a creative writing MFA

how i learned to read faster/stop subvocalizing

how to write when you have no time or energy to write

my experience writing fic in small/dead fandoms (aka fics that will probably not get any traffic)

how to describe facial expressions

how to ask for help from your professors

how to navigate tenses during flashbacks

how to separate yourself from your work

how (and why you might want to) write a shitty first draft

why you should consider making the climax the inciting incident

for a complete list of my writing-related posts, check out this masterdoc (which i still need to update it with the past few months’ posts).

stuff i’m into rn

i’m about halfway through the rhetoric of fiction by wayne c. booth which has more or less become my narrative bible. it’s a little dated (1961) but it tackles banal writing adages that are somehow still believed, like “show don’t tell” and whatnot, and breaks them down with amazing insight, clarity, and research. it’s a bit of a dense text so i’m only reading a few pages a day, i think the first time i’ve ever let myself read something so intentionally slowly. now i’m kind of obsessed with doing things slowly. reading slowly, writing slowly, cooking slowly. i even drive slowly, because it’s so rare to go anywhere at all, and i want to enjoy it. also, it’s very snowy where i am. also also, the battery died in my car this month and i really have to make it a point to drive more often.

february availability

i have 2 openings for initial writing consultations in february! if you’re interested, please fill out this google form.

you can learn more about my services on my carrd.

been thinkin a lot about

compulsory reality in fiction. many of us have probably received feedback along the lines of, or thought to ourselves as we read, “that’s not realistic.” many of us believe, consciously or not, that fiction that is more “realistic” is inherently better than fiction that is less “realistic.” for some of us, real means a saturation of details, the clear depiction of the surfaces of things. reality is found in the rendering thereof; if you can “see” it, it’s real. for others of us, it might be the development of complex characters and their growth across a narrative. and for yet others, reality is subtlety, or misery, or the idea of “slice of life,” a term i don’t think means anything, because aren’t all stories a slice of a character’s life? what would a story that’s not a slice of life look like? you’d either have to take away the “slice” part and render a whole life, which is impossible, or you’d have to take away the “life” part and create a dead story, which may be possible, but why would you want to? even if you wrote a story about a rock, the rock would be brought to life by virtue of being written about.

anyway. i think the word “real” is a shitty word for the same reason “slice of life” is a shitty phrase: everything is real and therefore nothing cannot be real. slices of life are all we know because we are alive and cannot truly perceive not being alive; reality is also all we know, and any depictions beyond reality are thus made real because they have been depicted.

so the “goal” for fiction to be “realistic” seems to me to be a false one. all fiction is real because it exists and no fiction can be truly real because it’s only a facsimile of reality. not to get all “this is not a pipe” but writing is just making squiggles, and we as a community of English-knowers agree that certain squiggles correspond to certain sounds, and certain sounds together make words which conjure meanings. and words put together into sentences into paragraphs conjure even more complicated meanings. and when those paragraphs are woven into narrative we create yet more and more complicated meaning.

every time you write anything — a text message, an email, a tweet, a fanfic — you are taking the infinite abstraction of your own cognition, narrowing it into a single concept, and representing that concept with patterns in the form of sounds represented by letters and given meaning with words, so that the infinite abstraction of your own conscience can be fractionally witnessed by the infinite abstraction of someone else’s. and even though we can’t definitively prove for ourselves that any other thing possesses a consciousness, writing shows us the shape of someone else’s mind, and tells us we are not alone.

and yet we still expect writing to be “real.”

have you ever read a story where a character sneezed? like just, a description of a sneeze for the sake of it, with no purpose or function in the plot? if not, is it because our characters aren’t real enough to sneeze, or because the sneeze isn’t relevant to their plight? what would a written sneeze look like, and why would somebody want to write it? moreover, why would somebody want to read it? that leads me to wonder, do we depict reality in the service of narrative, or narrative in the service of reality? in other words, do we write to portray reality (sans sneezing), or do we depict reality to constrain our writing, the way one might request bumpers when bowling so as not to fall in the gutters?

i’ve never read an artful rendition of a character pissing or shitting, either, even when those things are related to a character’s plight and circumstance — stories involving long road trips, living in the woods, being kidnapped. the only exception i can think of is when those things are eroticized (we do not kinkshame here in this lkwrnl), the same way it’s rare to find detailed sex writing that isn’t for the purpose of reader arousal. are there just some things about the nature of being human that are too intimate, too complex, or too boring to write?

once i wrote a murder that takes place in a small fictional midwestern town in the 90s (for the ~aesthetic), and it went uninvestigated by said town’s police force. early readers repeatedly commented along the lines of, “that’s not realistic.” and i thought, no, if anything, the incompetence of police is too realistic for the heightened reality i’m trying to render. have you ever heard of a cop solving a murder that didn’t come with an obvious suspect or immediately found evidence? i haven’t. that doesn’t mean those cases don’t exist, but i definitely think they’re less likely than mass media has us believe, and the average small-town police force has far less motivation (and possibly training) to solve crimes than we think.

i started working on the above-mentioned novel in 2016, and my goal was to depict a reality that hovers above the surface of plausibility. in this novel, which is based on macbeth, a preteen girl, mercy, becomes jealous of the love her best friend elisa shows to her father. mercy decides to get her older and very unstable brother to kill him. naturally the deed goes awry, but it does occur, and the cleanup is far messier than anticipated.

is it plausible for a 12 year old girl to plot and execute the murder of her best friend’s father? no. is that what this book is about? yes. a book about a 12 year old girl who has a perfectly healthy relationship with her best friend and who has no feelings toward her bff’s father one way or another is probably far more “realistic,” but that’s not the book i’d want to read and certainly not the one i want to write. my goal of a heightened reality is what henry james calls the intensity of illusion, the thing that allows a reader, through the witness of one’s distilled cognition into language, to exit physical, knowable reality, and enter a new and unknown reality. and isn’t climbing to that higher place, that intensity of illusion, the purpose of fiction? if it’s not, what is?

the best feedback i got on the aforementioned murder scene was from one of my professors, who, of the perfect calm of all children involved, said, “they just shot a guy. at least one of them would be freaking out.”

he was totally right, but it opened up a lot of questions for me. by what standard did he reach that conclusion? was it something in the chapter itself, was it his personal understanding of the work of narrative, or was it the logical conclusion of the slim plausibility of the scenario? moreover, where did i come up with the idea that all of my preteen characters would commit a murder and proceed to be very chill about it? if an implausible scenario begs the expectation of emotional distress, would it be more compelling to buy into that expectation or deviate from it? is it even my obligation to be compelling when i can never have a cogent grasp of the personal tastes of my audience?

that brings me to what appears to be reality’s opposite: idealism, the state those of us who write fanfic are often trying to achieve. we’re working in an entire genre of ideals, of happily ever afters, of hurt that is always followed by comfort, of glossily rendered sex during which everyone orgasms and no one has to pee afterward. we fix broken texts and continue incomplete ones. sometimes, we want to make existing things better, deeper, more complicated. but all the time, we want to make a text more than what it is.

some see this process, this drive for the ideal, as antithetical to realism, and i think that’s part of the reason fanfiction and other idealistic genres (romance, etc.) get a bad name — the assumption that more real (which for some means more miserable) is better, and therefore its opposite, the ideal, is worse. for them, i have this quote from vladimir nabokov:

For me a work of fiction exists only insofar as it affords me what I shall bluntly call aesthetic bliss, that is a sense of being somehow, somewhere, connected with other states of being where art (curiosity, tenderness, kindness, ecstasy) is the norm.

the ideal, aesthetic bliss, the intensity of illusion. these are all phrases that boil down to the same thing: you the writer get to define the constraints of your own reality. you get to choose if your world even complies with the known laws of physics. and if it doesn’t, you get to choose which ones to break, and why to break them. you get to choose if your stories take place in a real house in a real town on a real day. if you wrote a story that takes place on september 11, 2001, would the events of that story be shaped by the events of that actual day, or are you writing a better world where 9/11 doesn’t happen? consider the consequences of both: why might you want to write reality? why might you want to write ideality? how do these things shape your identity and goals as a writer?

no matter where a work falls on the real-ideal spectrum, you have to accept that prose itself will only ever be a verisimilitude of reality and therefore an interpretation of it, one that might be interpreted differently by a reader. in writing and everything else, you can never have complete control over what others perceive. it’s like giving someone cash as a gift. they might buy themselves something nice with it, or they might spend it on groceries. the point is, eventually we all have to let go of our realities.

#lkwrnl #pinned

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hughiecampbelle · 5 years ago

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I know I'm not the only person struggling with their mental health right now, and I know I'm absolutely no expert or anything, but I thought I would offer what I could. I don't normally write these things, but if I can be helpful to one person, then why not? These aren't life changing things that'll magically make all these overwhelming feelings or thoughts go away, but they can help short term, and sometimes that's all we can ask for/manage :) These might not all be unique or something you can do rn, but it's been helping me:

Get out of bed. Personally, I don't have a lot of places to go or sit, especially in quarantine, so I sit on my floor :) Where I live it's been too hot to sit outside, but that's also a really good place! I always end up feeling really bad and guilty when I can't get out of bed or end up staying there all day, so when I go somewhere else to do whatever (read, write, etc.) it makes me feel more productive. It makes me feel more accomplished.

Wash the one blanket you've been wrapped in. Or throw it in the dryer. Even just switching it out for another one can make you feel better because it's clean, and soft, and warm and now it's not associated with all bad days you spent wrapped in it. It's not a reminder anymore because it's been washed or switched out. It's a small fresh start, but it makes a big difference. Plus, all blankets need the same amount of love :)

Read a book. Or a chapter, or even a few pages. Lately that's all I've been able to manage and that's okay! A new book, something you've read a dozen times. You don't even have to start at the beginning. Go to that one chapter you love or that one scene or find those quotes you love. I haven't been able to read a lot lately, but when I have, it's made me feel a lot less lonely. It reminds me why I love it still and it gives me hope I'll be able to read like I used to. For now, a few pages is a big step :)

Clean. But I don't mean reorganize everything and end up with a mess that's too big and too overwhelming to handle right now. I mean getting a wipe and wiping down a dresser or chest or desk. I mean washing a dirty mirror. I mean restacking the book pile in a new way. It doesn't have too be too intense or ask too much of you because when you're feeling like this, everything feels like a chore. Even just vacuuming to feel the warm carpet is enough. Not everything needs a place to go right now and not everything has to be picked up. Just one small area is enough.

Change your wallpapers/backgrounds. This might be dumb, but it made me happy. I changed my computer backgrounds and now they're artsy and cute and every time I open it it makes me feel good. I switch up new pictures of my dogs on my phone wallpapers, too! It's easy, it's mindless, it's not a huge change or a big commitment, but it's something you can control, something you have that can make you feel better. Sometimes, it's little things that make a big difference and we just don't know it.

Watch comforting videos on your phone, ones you've taken. This might be a dumb one, too, but it helps. There's a reason you filmed it, sometimes you forget why. I have dumb videos of my dogs rolling around, and concerts where I'm the one screaming over the songs, and ones of my Nana laughing cuse she doesn't know it's taking a video and not a picture. Sometimes rewarding them can make you feel like you did when you took them. They can be a reminder of when you were happy and excited even when you forget those feelings.

Dye your hair. Permanently, semi-permanently, with that chalk stuff, whatever. Personally, I love change, I need it, but I can't get tattoos or piercings in quarantine and it's driving me bonkers. This is something I can change! It's also something I neglect. I don't brush my hair, I don't give it much thought, doing anything I can to get it out of my face. But, when it's a new color, I'm more thoughtful of taking care of it. I want the color to last and I care about it more when I like the new color. Even just one or a few strands of hair can be enough! It doesn't have to be huge!

Candles!!! Light one, smell one, spray febreeze, whatever! I cannot tell you how many candles I've burned through since quarantine started. The scent fills the room and makes it feel so much more welcoming and comforting. I feel better knowing all the things in my room are gonna smell like that candle. The ones I don't wanna burn yet just sit with the cap off. It makes me feel better knowing my room/are smells good :)

Art! Painting, drawing, writing, etc. It doesn't even have to be in an artistic way, it can be a chore. I had to paint the railing to my front steps because it was rusty and let me tell you, it was the most stress free afternoon I'd had in a long time. It was mindless and simple and I knew I was doing something, accomplishing something, that didn't need a lot of concentration. There are no expectations to create the next museum worthy masterpiece. Simply have fun with it, even if it ends up looking like a littke kid did it. All art is good art, and a healthy distraction.

Games :) I don't really play video games, but I've seen it be really good for my brothers who are dealing with their own issues right now to put their focus into something with an end goal and objectives. I like the app Two Dots which I actually found out about on here! I don't normally like these kinds of games, but I ended up loving this one. It's something to focus on and make you think, trying to figure out the best strategies, it's a distraction that makes you put all your focus in on one thing. Without school work and grades, that's been really hard for me to find.

Even if you can't do any of that right now, I want you to know one thing:

Please don't feel like you're wasting your time because you're trying to get through the day. I know a lot of people don't have school anymore or have lost/can't get jobs right now with everything going on, which means there's a lot of free time now and you're not really sure what to do with it. Let me tell you, you don't always have to be doing something huge and productive. You don't have to be "glowing up". You don't have to be losing weight or working out. You don't have to be reading or studying. You don't have to do anything. Time feels like it's dragging on and that's a lot. It can be overbearing. Some days are filler days, where maybe all you did was laundry or all you did was make your bed and that's okay!!! Even just sitting on the floor and remembering to eat is all we can manage. Quarantine and all this isn't about how you'll end up coming out of this, but if you do at all. I know my mental health has been so rocky and frankly, really scary, and i can only assume a lot of people have been feeling this way, too. If getting to end of it means a day full of movies or taking a day to binge an old favorite show, then that is enough.

Please feel free to add more if you have any, I know I'm in need of any ideas or things I could do to help right now. I hope you're staying safe my loves, staying healthy. Please be a lil nicer to yourselves, more understanding, more kind, and more aware when things start to change. There's nothing wrong with putting your mental health first. I love you all more than I could ever put into words!!! Xoxoxo💜💖💜

#im sorry about not being super active or engaged recently #trying to get through the day is hard enough #but this blog is my lil escape #and i hope i can offer that to you guys when you visit :)#ilysm!!!#mental health #mental health tips #personal #dl

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thewhizzyhead · 4 years ago

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you very much Should Keep going (if you’d like) I’m reading your tags like 👀👀👀 I wanna know More!!!

dude believe me i only just thought up 90% 9f this while doing my math homework last night so yea this is very barebones and this is very very new have very little to offer but um imma try to explain a bit more fjdjdc SO ANYWAYS GRADE 11

Warning: this is very long and I am very sorry aaAAAA also i only just thought of this last night and a while ago while attending class so um yea it's chaotic.

the songs i've mentioned so far in the tag ramble aren't um consecutive so yeah there are a lot of blank spaces in between fjsjsj and yea I haven't figured out the other leads and their arcs yet (probably 5-6 leads). for now um the planned songs feature 3 of the leads:

Kate - basically answers the question of What If Eva Sanchez Was The Protagonist and What If Eva Sanchez Saw The Hell That Is Don't Even (in this show, this song is called "Anakpota?" or "The Fuck?"); she's a transferee and is having a bit of a hard time adjusting to the new school environment; her reasons for transferring run a bit deeper than just "humanities is a lot more interesting than stem or business shits"; i guess her main character themes are burnout, the want for childlike wonder again and overcoming the fear that comes with chasing what you really want and no i am definitely not self projecting what are you guys talking about smh rhhdhs /hj (altho i admit that this is loosely based on my own experience with deciding to transfer schools) and yea she's a very closeted lesbian that slowly starts to comes out to others and to herself more throughout the course of the show. and also she gets a girlfriend YAY

Noel - rn i don't have that much planned out for him cause u know barebones plot but so far um i guess he's the chill dude, overall good guy, rantaro amami from danganronpa v3 vibes, and he's initially framed as the "love interest" for Kate esp in the song "Ikaw Ba Ay..." or "Are You..." (i wanted that to be a play on the typical Filipino Teen Hetero Romance CAUSE THAT SHIT IS IN EVERYWHERE JFJSJD I AM GONNA MAKE A WHOLEASS RANT ON THAT SOON AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME) but surprise motherfucker BOTH OF THEM ARE GAY AND BOTH BOND OVER IT AND BECOME BEST FRIENDS YAY WOOOO i kinda want him to be like the typical "Filipino Teen Heartthrob" star student with the twist being that he's gay and not make that a throwaway joke cause um yea that's a throwaway joke here that someone who is real catch for the heteros but is actually gay is "sayang" or "worthless" here.

Ella - ngl she is probably gonna end up as the main lead here fjdjd i'd say she has riley+chess vibes aka The School's Hotshot Achiever and Student Leader That Is Very Intimidating But Is Actually Really Freaking Kind and i guess with a dash of Kate Dalton-ish snark. Like i said the plot is barebones rn so i dunno anything but i do imagine them being the one that drives the plot forward due to her outspokenness. I also imagine her to be the one (along with Noel) that makes Kate a lil bit more comfortable with her sexuality and yup you guessed it Ella is gay too (bi to be specific oh and she uses she/they pronouns) and altho still a bit closeted, they're a bit more comfy with it. also they become Kate's gf yay!

those are the leads that i have kinda planned out so far but yea i still gotta expound kna lot of atuff and make up more leads for this but then again i just started conceptualizing this last night so ANYWAYS HERE ARE THE OTHERS SONGS THAT I LITERALLY JUST THOUGHT UP LAST NIGHT (aside from the ones already mentioned)

+ "Nakakapanibago" or "Well This Is New" - Ella and Kate work together on a school project aaand gay panic ensues. both of them take turns in addressing the audience and panicking over each other in um er an "Oh My God She's Very Fucking Cute What The Fuck" way. it kinda has What Is This Feeling from Wicked vibes if you remove the aggression and antagonization jdjsd and i kinda emphasize on how overwhelmed they are cause for Kate, everything - from the school to the subjects to the people - is new and her attraction to Ella is like a cherry bomb on top of a chaos cake while for Ella, who has studied in the school since kindergarten which is why nothing about the school fazes her anymore, Kate is a literal breath of fresh air and the spontaneity scares them and excites them at the same time. The number is comedic (and is chance for me to add a shit ton of wordplay cause yAY WORDPLAY) but i guess also hints at their fears which will definitely come into play later.

+ "Mabuting Laban" or "Good Fight" - a group number led by Ella, this is the first song in the musical that isn't mostly comedic. like um the musical so far (before this song) is mostly somewhat of a parody-just-for-laughs-don't-take-this-seriously piece but with this, the show finally hints to something a lot more serious and insightful. so basically ella tells kate (this scene comes right after the Nakakapanibago sequence) that they have noticed that the latter is um very very shocked at the blatant show of LGBTQ+ stuff. Kate mentions that altho many students have since then spoke up for LGBTQ+ acceptance, things were a lot more conservative back in her former school (once again wooo definitely not self projection /hj) so like seeing all this is very new to her. Ella then mentions that things weren't always like that - a lot of fighting had to be done in order to get to that point. and because most of the students already were branded with a rebellious reputation (for a lot of delinquent behavior), they really didn't give a fuck anymore if they were being controversial or not. What mattered was that they would make the school environment a lot more welcoming for themselves and for others. That sentiment is also shared by other leads singing along as they go out of their way to ensure a much better environment for everyone (in terms of lgbtq+ rights, undoing the stigmatization of mental health matters, student activism yadda yadda)

(oh and also this kinda serves as something that bridges the prejudices between the two schools since Ella's school is famous for a lot of student delinquency while Kate's former school is famous for being known as the "Best School In The Region With The Best Students" (which is why Ella understands why the students in Kate's school are a bit more hesitant to speak up because Kate's former schoolmates got way too much to lose) and the rivalry those schools have with each other cause students from ella's school think those from kate's school are pompous little shits while those from kate's school think that ella's schoolmates are delinquents and yes this is commentary on the dynamic my former school'scstudents and my current school's students share) (i should probably give this its own song)

+ "Ayoko" or " I Don't Want It" - (this does not come right after Mabuting Laban fjsjd i honestly dunno where to put this) this comes right after a conversation regarding her reputation in her former school and yea this is Kate poking fun at the "I Want" song musical trope. Like um she addresses the audience saying something along the lines of "oooohh wow complicated backstory exposition! you are probably expecting a song rn ala "How Far I'll Go" from Moana but guess what bitches fuck you all cause i'm gonna sing a song about the things I don't want just to fucking annoy you." it starts off as incredibly satirical and um Kate Dalton-vibes all throughout the scene with lots of pettiness which will then gradually transition to her singing about how she threw all the opportunities presented to her by the former school just because she really didn't want to do them and was tired of saying "yes" just to be enough for them. She then starts singing about her taking control of her own narrative by finally leaving the school. She still laments about those lost opportunities and admits that she still kinda wants to pursue those, but if she has to sacrifice rest for greatness, then she doesn't want it. The song ends with a verse akin to most I Want songs as she finally admits what she really wants the most: rest and wonder.

also here's a verse i made up just a while ago

Diyos ko, sabihin mo, ano pa ang kailangan kong gawin/upang mabawi ang mga ninakaw sa akin/upang maibalik ang pag-asang nawala/upang sa wakas ako'y makakapagpahinga/sapagkat hindi na ako nagnanais ng kadakilaan/ang hinihingi ko lamang ay ang aking kabataan

translation (i'll try my best to make it rhyme): My God, tell me, what else do i have to do/so I can take back all that they have taken from me/so that I can bring back the hope I've long so been deprived of/so that for once in my life, I'll be able to breathe/ cause I no longer want all the greatness that you say I could've had/ I only want to wonder, I only want my childhood back

+ "Halos Lagi Nalang"or "Almost Always The Same" - if this sounds familiar yes i rambled about this before gjdjdjd I started conceptualizing this song even before i even started conceptualizing the musical. So yea this is in Act 2 the song starts with mentioning the exhaustion that comes with being an LGBTQ+ teen in the philippines cause yup same old conservative religious bullshit same old same old shit and despite many a lot of people advocating for LGBTQ+ rights, nothing ever changes around here because well conservative religious bullshit. so yea this is kind of an extension of "Good Fight" but make it more about the burnout felt by a lot of teens that want something better than whatever we have right now. Then it will also apply to the other causes that the leads fight for (activism,destigmatization of mental health stuffs, etc). I'd say it's a combination of Before the Breakdown + Move On musically speaking (yea PMA has influenced me by a LOT). eventually this becomes one of the star numbers fo the show cause yea all the leads will do a shit ton of singing and harmonizing (but for here i'd say Noel and Kate have a tiny bit more of the spotlight since for now they are the ones with the very LGBTQ+ based plotlines). I really REEAAALLY want this song to work aaaa i've been playing around with the melody a lot recently and if i can't write the whole musical, then i'll be content with at the very least writing this song

+ "Try Lang Natin" or "Let's Try It Out" - this is a very barebones sequence atm but basically it's a scene where both Kate and Ella come to terms with their fears related to uncertainty and go "fuck it we don't know jackshit about the future anyway so why not ondulge a bit and ejoy what we have today" and decide to start going out with each other YAYYYYY and also this is like one of the few scenes here were Ella is much more visibly nervous compared to everyone else in the scene so yay for helping each other come to terms with their own vulnerabilities WOOOOO (also paige i remember you saying once that kate and eva could've had a Forever reprise duet right? And correct me if i'm wrong but i think u said it could be about eva assuring kate that she won't go anywhere? WELP I'M STEALING THAT JFJSJJDF /lh /hj AND YUP KATE AND ELLA ARE BASICALLY UM KINDA KATEVA IF YOU SQUINT SO THANK YOU PAIGE FOR THAT IDEAAAA)

AND THAT'S IT SO FAR WOO THIS TOOK ME 5 HOURS TO TYPE IT ALL OUT FJDJSJFF i'm kinda impressed with this ngl considering that i literally started making this up last night and i hope that i can make something out of it woo

And if you guys somehow reached the end of the post and have read every single thing, I'm sending you a lot of hugs and a lot of milkshakes

#paige i am so so sorry it took a long time and i am so sorry that the response is VERY VERY LONG DJXJS #but i hope you liked it!#the ask cheered me up btw fjsjx like i wasnt expecting anyone to be interested but then u sent the ask and YAY KRKDJ #if anyone has any questions or comments or anythjng then um feel free to um hit me up with them YAYYYYY #okay to rb btw if you wanna express ur opinions in the tags #i like hearing other people's opinions on my rambles so feel free to do so if you wanna #thanks for the ask paigeee #paige! (literally riley)#ask me stuff #hmm i should make a tag for this #Izzy's rambles and shit #yea that

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #435

from yesterday, don’t feel like updating the answers. :^)

When you get married what do you think you’ll put most of your focus and money into? Uhhh. I really don't know... I mean maybe doing all I can do avoid debt? That's what my parents mostly argued about, and I know financial strain can really affect a couple. I never want that burden. Who in your life causes you the most stress or negative feelings? My damn self. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No; my parents didn't grow up here. Wait! I THINK Mom had one of my college professors? I don't recall for sure, and I definitely don't remember who it was. Are you the type of person who seeks out revenge? Nah. Are there any songs that inspire you? Certainly, such as "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy Osbourne, "Get Up" by Shinedown, and more. How do you feel about celebrities getting involved in politics? Do you think that the celebrity world and the political world should be kept apart? Not at all; everyone has the right to share their opinion and should not feel like it's necessary to censor it. Let them be people with morals and beliefs, too. I'm totally fine with them CHOOSING to be quiet about controversial subjects, but they're more than welcome to share their thoughts on any topic. What is one pro of living where you do, and what is one con? What is a pro and a con of living where you wished you lived? I guess the only real pro (and this is horrible to be the first thought) is that we're under the radar; like, not really a target for terrorism or anything, lol. I'd get kinda nervous if I lived in, like, Washington D.C. or something. We have A LOT of cons: there is NOTHING to do, we're essentially a hub for crime, the scenery is boring and bland as fuck... I could go on for a long time. I'd love to live in many areas in North America, but I'll go with Alaska, since that would absolute RULE. A strong pro would definitely be the cold climate and the sights, but it would definitely be a con to me when that relentless dark era lasts for months on end. I need the sun (from inside anyway, ha ha) sometimes, because it being dark for what, half a year?, would really damage my happiness. What is your favorite episode of your favorite TV show? Referring to Meerkat Manor, it's actually the one where Mozart dies, I think, even though it destroyed my heart. I just think the writer portrayed it as so beautifully tragic, and the clips shown were so pretty. Does having others watch you do things make you uncomfortable? What sorts of things make you extremely uncomfortable if you are watched while doing them? Are there any things that give you confidence to do if you have an audience? ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY. Do NOT watch me on the computer (especially when writing), I literally will not draw if someone's watching (inevitably besides in Art classes, I think Sara is legit the only person who's watched me draw a bit), I really don't like people watching me edit photography, I'm nooot a fan of others seeing me exercise (though I kinda have to suck that up with having a personal trainer), etc. etc. Just don't watch me do anything, lol. I don't know what actually boosts my confidence if I'm being observed. Does someone in your house speak a different language on a regular basis? No. Do you follow or care about any big sports events? Not at all. Are there any activities people normally do together that you prefer doing alone? Hm. I dunno. If you are going somewhere where you’ll have to wait for a while (i.e. a doctor’s office), do you bring something to occupy yourself? My phone, yeah. How long is your favorite song? I checked, and it's almost six minutes. Do you think you’d ever want to be “internet famous”? I'll admit I've somewhat thought about it, only because my career choices are running so dry, and I'd be able to do it alone. However, I've got noooo idea what I'd actually do, and I also don't think I could handle ridicule or anything like that for any reason. Having a spotlight on me would stress me out. Who was the main cook of your Thanksgiving meal last year? My older sister. What moment in your life have you been most scared? Probably this one occasion where Dad had to pick my sister and me up from school one day and make the 30-minute drive home. Well. He was clearly in a hellish mood because he was flying. He ran stop signs and red lights, passed people illegally... I was in the passenger's seat and absolutely convinced we were going to crash. I can barely believe we didn't. Who was the last person you slow danced with? -_- Do you prefer headphones or earbuds? Earbuds. I like how they block out external sound better, and they don't hurt my ears like headphones do. What person/people do you trust the most? My mom. Who in your life do you care about more than yourself? My parents, sisters, my nieces and nephew, Sara... A lot of people, if I'm being honest. I don't value my life as much as I should. Which wild animal would you most like to have as a pet? I am DESPERATE to rescue an opossum one day. :''''( What teacher did all the high school boys/girls have a crush on? I have no idea. Have you ever felt seriously violated? No. Do you watch American Horror Story? I adore(d) the first season; it was mine and Jason's "show." We watched most of season two as well, but I lost interest in the later half of it. I haven't really watched it since, save for the pilot episode of some season I forgot. Does your hometown have any urban legends/scary stories? Not to my knowledge. What’s the scariest nightmare you remember having? Something involving my dad that I won't speak about. Pancakes or French toast? Oh my god, French toast. That sounds delicious rn. Are there any apps you’re addicted to? Not addicted, nah. Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? Yes; it was a bunny holding a multicolor polka-dotted blanket. Do you still collect stuffed animals? Hell yeah. Have you ever had eggs cooked over a campfire? No. What colors of mascara have you worn on your lashes? Just black. What font do you usually use? I mean, it depends on what I'm doing. Is it supposed to appear professional? Aesthetically pleasing? It varies too much to answer this with one font. What about font colors? Usually just black, but again, it depends on what I'm writing. Are you good at making graphics or designing layouts? Ha, no. Do you put gel or mousse in your hair? No. Sleep with just one pillow? No, I use two. I am VERY uncomfortable with just one. Ever woke up crying? Yeah, from nightmares. Do you like big dogs or small dogs better? It depends on the breed and their energy level. I don't really prefer one over the other as a general judgment. Are you going to graduate high school on time? I did. Been to the zoo lately? No, but I'd love to go. :/ Now that I'd consider myself at least a pretty decent photographer, I'd love to see what shots I could take. I LOVE photographing animals with how unpredictable they are. It's like playing the lottery; you really don't know what you're going to get, but you have the chance for seriously priceless moments. Even if we could afford the trip, though, I know I wouldn't last long whatsoever with my legs being as weak as gelatine. I know especially that there's a notable incline in the path, and I'd never make it up it. I really, really look forward to the day where I can really start feeling a difference in my body thanks to the gym. Have you ever been to Mississippi? No. What did you do for your last birthday? We went to The Cheesecake Factory. Do you like to cook? No. What is the worst thing that has happened to you in your entire life? If I'm looking at the big picture and what truly damaged my pleasure in life the most, it'd be developing depression and such intense anxiety. I've given up so much and changed so negatively because of it. Do you know when your next family reunion will be? We've never had one. My family is too spread out. What is your favorite thing to do with your significant other? I'm single, but even in a relationship, I love playing video games together. I've got multiple memories of just having a great time doing that. Where is “home” for you? Wherever Mom is. Is there an animal that creeps you out? Whale sharks, maggots and other bug larvae, centipedes, many beetles, and some other bugs. What is the name of the last band you discovered? Uhhh.. good question. I admittedly don't listen to new music a lot. I tend to stick to the stuff I know. Do you prefer group projects, or would you prefer to work alone? I would rather kick my ankle against a Razer scooter than do a group project. Have you ever been to Hooters? No. Do you have a brother? What’s his name? Yeah, Robert, but everyone calls him "Bobby." Have you ever thought that your life was so bad you wanted to give up? About a billion times. I still do sometimes. Do you have a ceiling fan located in your bedroom? Yes. Have you ever been in a lighthouse? No, but I was supposed to visit one in the fourth grade. The water was way too aggressive that day, though, so we had a change of plans and went to a closer island. Hell, it might have been the better option, because it had horses. I remember collecting seashells, too, and just watching the power of the ocean hammer at the shores. It was really pretty. Have you ever been bitten by an animal? Only playfully, like by a cat. Well wait, I think my old baby iguana may have bitten me once (he sure tried to, ha ha), but I don't remember for sure. Did it rain today? Yes. It rains pretty much every afternoon here in the late summer. What was the name of the last dog you pet? Zeke, my sister's German shepherd. He's adorable. Has your luggage ever been lost at the airport? Did you get it back? No. Do you have certain friends that you hug every time you see them? I pretty much always hug my friends when I see them. I'm a big hugger. Have you ever witnessed a tornado? No, thank the fucking Lord. Who is your favorite person to talk to when you’re down? Sara. What are you listening to right now? "Blood For Blood" by Powerwolf. Can you get over people easy? Hell no. I do NOT handle loss well AT ALL. And not just romantically. What was the last thing you carried to your room? A drink. Do you drink water that comes from your sink? Only once it's been filtered. Have you ever prank called the police? That is fucking awful. No. What’s your LEAST favorite smiley? XD looks so stupid to me I'm sorry lmao xD reigns supreme. Do you like Italian food? Yeah, more than I used to. Have you ever put red lipstick on just to make lip marks on something? No. Do you watch Shane Dawson on YouTube? Isn't his career pretty much toast now? I DID used to love his videos, though. I still occasionally watch his fiance, though, and he pops up sometimes. Regardless of everything, I still think he's funny as fuck. Would you ever spend a day to see what it’s like to be homeless? NOOOOOOO NO NO NO NO. I am TERRIFIED of living on the streets someday. I want NO idea what it's like. Is the house you’re currently living in over 50 years old? I highly doubt that. Have you ever had a yard sale? Many. What is your favorite color? Baby pink. Did you have a good day or a bad day? Today was extreeeemely dull and felt like it lasted eons. Do you know anyone that has/had cancer? I sadly know maaaaany. Have you ever read somebody else’s diary? No, that is incredibly rude. Do you enjoy going to school? I hated it from start to end. Like I have good memories, but overall, I hated school. Were you a big jump roper back in the day? OHHHH YES. I almost learned how to double-dutch, even. I could jump with two ropes, but not jump in with two. Are you a local celebrity? Definitely not. Do you eat candy daily? No. I'm already fat dude, I don't need candy. I avoid candy as best as I can. Do you get nervous with public speaking? Like you would not believe. How old were you when you got your driver's license (if you have it)? I'm 25 and still don't have it. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you? Yes. What memory are you most afraid of losing? Meh, I don't know. A lot of what I consider my "favorite" memories I'd honestly be better off losing, probably. Who accompanied you to your first concert? My mom, younger sister, and Jason. Would you rather have tickets to see your favorite band in concert, or $100 to go shopping? TAKE ME TO THE OZZY CONCERT. What do you usually eat for breakfast? It really varies. I'd say cereal most often, probably? Do you wish you were more outgoing? Yeah. Do you know anyone who wears a hearing aid? I don't think so?

#survey #surveys #random questions

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officialbillhader · 4 years ago

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Please post a link to your fic!! 😀

Anon i wish i could right now but its not done yet! Im putting so much care into this fic its insane. Howver i do have another macden fic i can link! Its a fic filled with a bunch of macden aus and i update it every once in a while, but rn im more ofcused on my main macden fic.

Edit: i wanted to share a snippet of my fic from chapter 1 so here is a (rough) version (under read more)

“Get ready, I need you to drive me to the airport,” Dennis says. He’s in Mac’s room, leaning on the doorway. “I left you coffee and some toast on the counter. Get up.” He leaves the door open. Mac does what he is told without much thought. He dresses and brushes his teeth and drinks the coffee and eats his toast. Dennis waits for him the entire time, sitting on the couch. His suitcases are by the apartment door, one being Mac’s, but he took that one last time he left too. Mac doesn’t use it anyway; he doesn’t know why Dennis gave it back to him in the first place. He thinks Dennis may have bought it for Mac.

“Don’t go,” Mac begs, his voice soft and wanting. He can hear Dennis going to look at him, but he keeps looking at the suitcases, studying them for a memory test that will never be graded.

“I have to, buddy. I haven’t seen Junior in two years. I can’t let him forget what I look like,” Dennis reminds. Mac nods. He forces himself to swallow his bite of toast. It’s all a losing battle. He can’t keep Dennis here.

“My flight leaves in two hours, so hurry up.”

Mac decides he can’t eat any more of the toast, at least not while Dennis is still here. “I’m done,” he says.

“Really?” Dennis gets up, eyes the half-eaten toast on the counter. He doesn’t mention it. He knows when to not mention things.

“Yeah,” Mac verifies.

“Good.”

Mac hadn’t noticed, but during their conversation Dennis had grabbed the car keys and thrown them at Mac. He catches them instinctively by the fob, then he feels the coldness of the actual key.

“Am I driving there too?”

“Yeah. Grab the last suitcase for me, will you?”

The apartment door shuts. Dennis has taken two of his three suitcases with him.

Mac doesn’t have long to stay before Dennis comes back, irritated at him for not immediately following. He goes to the suitcase and picks it up, then drops it, letting it roll a few inches away before stopping. He goes to Dennis’s room and looks inside. It doesn’t look different, it never does, except his closet has only half of the clothes it normally does. Most left are the old t-shirts that he doesn’t wear anymore, but keeps because he thinks Mac is going to take them and cut the sleeves off. Mac doesn’t want those shirts, but he doesn’t tell Dennis. He likes the idea that Dennis keeps them because he’s thinking of him, like he always does, even if he won’t admit it outside of these tiny things.

He leaves the bedroom, clicking the door shut even though it doesn’t matter, and he catches up with Dennis before Dennis can reach the car.

“So, what does a few months mean? Like, next month?” Mac asks. He’s gripping the steering wheel hard, taking turns to the airport that he isn’t quite sure when he memorized. Maybe he’s bullshitting it and they’ll end up in the middle of Pennsylvania thirty miles away, and Dennis will miss his flight, and he’ll yet at Mac, but Mac won’t care.

“I don’t know. I was thinking sometime in September.”

“September?”

“Yeah. Junior will have started school then. No point in staying.”

“What grade will he be in?” Mac asks, but because it seems like common courtesy, not because he cares or will remember. Judging by how long it takes Dennis to answer, it doesn’t seem like he cares much either.

“Kindergarten, I think. Doesn’t really matter.”

“Yeah,” Mac says, moving his hands on the wheel so he can make a right turn better. They’re getting closer and closer to the airport, Mac knows, and he feels impossible to stop it, no matter how desperately he wants to.

“Why am I driving your car?” Mac blurts out. Dennis looks at him.

“Because you—you don’t own a car. Are you looking for an answer here?”

“You never let me drive your car if you could be driving it.”

“So I decided I’d treat you to something special today.”

Mac’s grip on the wheel tightens. He can’t feel the fingers on his left hand anymore. He’s not driving straight.

“You know I don’t like driving.”

He sees Dennis shrug from the corner of his eye. He refuses to look at him.

“Don’t fucking leave, dude.” And then, pathetically, he adds, “Please.”

Dennis sighs. “Look, I know this is hard for you, man, but it’s only for a few months. I’ll be back before you know it. It’s not like last time.”

He turns his attention to the buildings outside the window. Mac doesn’t respond. He makes the final turn onto the final stretch of road and then before he wants it to happen, he’s pulling into the drop off zone at the airport and Dennis is gripping the door handle and opening it and stepping out of the car.

He stops, there’s a beat of silence, and then he’s saying, “Maybe you should get a boyfriend this time. You know—instead of the doll.” Then he fully steps out and slams the door, going to the trunk where his luggage is stored. Mac doesn’t help him.

#asks #anon im so excited to post it #im on chapter five #about 30k words in #if only i hadnt been ripped fro my campus 😔 i was writing so much before covid #macdennis

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josephinelouiseobrien · 4 years ago

Text

High School Reunion (2)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x OC

Synopsis: Jada Hale was Penelope Garcia’s best friend. They’d been through everything together - high school, relationships, breakups, a stalker, college, getting arrested and then joining the FBI. So when there high school reunion rolls around Penelope refuses to let Jada skip it - even if that means forcing a certain doctor to be her date.

A/N: a few peoples wanted me to tag them but rn tumblr isn’t letting me tag anyone and I’m having a hard time even linking stuff to my Masterlist right now. I’ll try to tag the people who asked in future chapters but if you know how to fix this problem please lmk.

Masterlist

——————————————————————————

Flashback:

It was junior year and all anyone could talk about was Jacob Tate - the dreamboat who’d only recently broken up with his supermodel girlfriend. In reality she’d dumped him, but he told a different story.

Rumor was that he was looking for a new ‘muse’ as he called it. He’d always been into photography and wanted someone who could become the main focus of his art.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the social spectrum, were Penelope and Jada. Unlike their classmates they were less focused on the drama surrounding Jacob Tate and more concerned with college admissions. Their dream had always been to attend Caltech he together and they weren’t going to let anything get in the way of it.

Only, Jacob Tate started focusing his attention onto Jada. Slowly as time went on she’d started straying from who she was.

It started with her appearance: her sweatshirts became crop tops, Her jeans became skirts and booty shorts. Then she dyed her hair, it’s previous light brown color was changed to an almost black lined with streaks of vibrant pink.

Then it was school: her grades started slipping - her focus switched from school to Jacob. After awhile she just stoped showing up - her attendance was down the drain at that point.

Finally she declared that she wanted to pursue a career in modeling. They made it official - Jada was dating Jacob Tate. He claimed she was his new ‘muse’ and told her lies about how he could make her famous.

Over time Jada even dropped Penelope. It wasn’t until her best friends parents were killed by a drunk driver that Jada reached out to her old friend. Of course the blonde didn’t welcome her back with open arms but over time they grew closer. And when she eventually dropped out of caltech and went underground, Jada was the only one to know about her whereabouts.

Then after months of penelope telling her that Jacob Tate was bad news - Jada came to the conclusion herself. The manipulation was one thing. She could deal with the emotional and mental abuse. But one thing that her mother had taught her that stuck was that a man should never lay his hands on a women.

All it took was one slap across the face for Jada to pack her bags and leave.

She expected the incessant calling, the crying voicemails. She even expected the threatening ones that he’d left when he’d clearly been in a drunken stupor - she could tell thanks to the slurring of his speech.

But then he started showing up at her parents house. He’d sit outside and cry - scream. Her parents called the cops multiple times and Jada took their advice. She blocked his number and all his social media accounts.

He somehow still managed to contact her. Whether it be through a friends phone or by creating a new social media account - he was stubborn.

Then one day she snapped - she couldn’t take it anymore. She got a new phone, new number, new phone carrier. She deleted any trace of her from social media. She packed up and moved in with Penelope - who at that point had ended up on the FBI’s hacker list.

And with the help of her best friend she deleted her entire identity. Her birth certificate - gone. Social security number - gone. Hospital records - gone. Jada Hale no longer existed to the world and for some reason it helped her sleep better at night.

It also helped attain a job at the FBI. Instead of throwing her in jail for virtually deleting herself from existence they used it to their advantage. They’d send her undercover and sneak her into places where they needed someone who could be anyone. She was a shadow.

——————————————————————————

“He hasn’t bothered me since.” Jada reassured. Based off of the mortified looks on both Spencer and Morgan’s faces they were a little more then concerned.

Spencer’s expression softened, “you never went to the police?”

It broke his heart to know that someone had treated her like she was nothing. To him, she was everything. It baffles him: ‘how could he treat someone so kind and caring like she was nothing?’

Jada shrugged, “it wasn’t as bad as it sounds, I promise. I mean, other people have had it so much worse.”

“Did you know that 99% of people who survive traumatic situations downplay what had happened to them.” Spencer replied softly, his eyes boring into Jada’s soul. “Almost all of them saying something all the lines of: ‘other people have it worse’.”

“No, I didn’t know that.” Jada whispered, her gaze then hitting the floor.

Morgan sighed, “are you sure you haven’t seen him since, kid? Cause this sounds like more then just some teenager with a broken heart.”

“I’m sure.” Jada replied only to recieve a nudge from Garcia. If she was gonna come clean she mind as well do it properly. “Sometimes I think I see him - but I have to be hallucinating or something.”

Spencer shook his head, “Jada-”

“You know what? Now that I’m saying this out loud I’m realizing how crazy it sounds.” Jada replied, waving it off completely. “I’m overreacting. Spence you don’t have to go to this stupid reunion with me.”

Spencer wouldn’t let her go alone - he couldn’t. Sighing he softly grabbed her hand, his eyes boring into hers. Confidence surged through him - when it came to her safety he’d defy every social barrier that held him back. “What about if I want to go?”

“Spence-”

“No, I want to.” Spencer continued, “come on, let me be your date to your high school reunion.”

Jada crumpled at that moment, nodding as she gave in. “Fine, but not because I’m scared but because I want you to be my date.”

Spencer blushed softly, an undeniable smile stretching across his face. Maybe she was just saying it to give him a chance to back out but Spencer couldn’t stop the butterflies from appearing in his stomach.

If he ever got the chance to, he’d treat her like she was the world - because whether or not he admitted it out loud, she was his.

——————————————————————————

The rest of the day was spent focusing on paperwork - other then the small mentions of the reunion that came up once and awhile. Emily had teased Jada about the video - somehow she’d seen it as well. Only at the mention of her high school years Jada didn’t feel the familiar tightening of her chest. Maybe telling someone about what had happened to her really did help her to move on.

Gathering her belongings, Jada said her goodbyes as she headed to the elevator. Once inside she clicked the button for the first floor, allowing her head to rest against the wall behind her and her eyes to fall closed in exhaustion. Only before the elevator doors could close Spencer slipped into the small metal box.

Jada furrowed her eyebrows as her eyes cracked open slightly. Usually he’d already be gone by the time she left - but she didn’t question it. “Hey, Spence. You going down?”

The man nodded, bouncing on the balls of his heels nervously. “Yep.”

Jada was too tired to question his strange behavior, instead simply shutting up as she waited for the elevator to descend onto the first floor. Only as she left the building she found Spencer following her. “Spence, don’t you have to go to your car?”

The man fumbled slightly with his words, “I just thought I’d walk you to your car today.”

“I didn’t tell you that story so you could worry about me, you know?” Jada replied sighing heavily. This was the exact reason why she didn’t tell anyone - she didn’t want to be pitied. “I’m a lot stronger then you think.”

“I know.” Reid mumbled, licking his lips nervously. “It’d make me feel better though - to know your alright.”

Jada sighed, “alright well my cars in the shop so I’m waiting for the bus. And before you ask, you don’t have to wait with me.”

“Let me drive you home.”

“Fine.” Jada caved, following Spencer towards where his car was parked.

The ride to her apartment complex was silent, and as the car slowed to a stop she found herself asking: “do you want to come in for coffee or something?”

Spencer was quick to nod, “sure.”

Jada set down a mug filled with coffee - but mainly sugar - in front of Spencer. She knew his coffee order by heart then again it wasn’t something she could easily forget, the first time they ever met he’d spilled his coffee all over her.

“So, do you want to talk about it?”

“About what?” Jada questioned as she took a seat on her couch beside Reid.

Spencer shifted slightly. “About jacob. Studies show that talking about trauma can help you move past it.”

“I wasn’t traumatized.” Jada corrected, “but I will answer any questions you have.”

“Okay.” Spencer nodded seeming to contemplate what he’d ask. Jada could practically see a lightbulb going off in his head as he came up with a good question. “How long were you two together?”

Jada’s eyes diverted to where she was playing with the strings of her sweater. “Almost two years.”

“Did he ever... get physical with you? Before the last time.”

Jada shook her head, “No. I would never let a man slap me around. Ever.”

“But, what he did - you might not be able to see the damage but it’s clear he still left some behind.”

Jada sighed watching his expression carefully. All she saw was fear - he was treating her like a piece of glass. She wasn’t going to break. “Don’t do that.”

“What?”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“like I’m gonna break. Like I’m some fragile little girl.”

“Fragile?” Spencer echoed in shock, his eyes wide at her revelation. “Jade, I don’t think your fragile. You’re the strongest person I know.”

Tears welled in the brunettes eyes at Spencer’s words and she found herself easily falling into his arms. At first the man found it awkward, but slowly he became more comfortable as he began to draw circles on her back until she fell asleep.

#mgg #criminal minds #spencer reid #dr. spencer reid #derek morgan #stalker #penelope garcia #high school reunion

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barbarasbae · 6 years ago

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Just a Taste

Vampire!Billy Hargrove x Reader (female)

Word count: 1.6K

Warnings: badly written smut, first time writing smut, periods mentioned, blood mentioned,blood play(?), under age drinking, drunk sex, oral sex (female recieving), consent does not remain enthusiastic consent. Do not read if you are uncomfortable with the idea of blood or period sex.This first chapter is literally just p*rn (shh don’t tell the bots), please God forgive me.

SMUT BELOW THE CUT, be cautious young readers.

Billy Hargrove was gorgeous. Warm skin and golden hair made it easy to make girls crazy about him. However, people were starting to notice that once a girl got with him, they would avoid his gaze, like they were scared.

Y/n had been feeling pretty good about herself lately, having gotten good grades for the last few weeks and had started running to give herself a hobby that didn’t involve school. So she decided to reward herself by going to a party with one of her close friends, Nancy Wheeler. She drank a little too much, getting very tipsy. Then she felt hands on her hips, crotch rubbing up against her as she felt an all too familiar ache in her belly.

“Hey princess,” a voice cooed in her ear. “How about we get outta here, hm? You smell real good.” He purred, her shivering. “Okay.” She slurred a little, very aware of his body against hers. Especially his hard on. As she stumbled through the crowded party, she thought about what the hell she was doing. Was she really about to let the most desired guy in school take her virginity? Yes. Yes she was. Admittedly, she wasn’t the most fond of really debating her actions when it came to guys who showed her interest. It had gotten her heart in trouble a few times.

They made it out of the party, away from the smell of sweat, alcohol and vomit, Billy leading her into the woods. “Where are we going?”

“Somewhere special.” They made it to a little cabin, the place empty. He led her through the semi musty cabin, flicking on lights until they entered the room he had been looking for. His lips were on her in an instant, forceful and hungry. He walked her backwards, hands firmly on her ass. Her vision was already blurry, but the white dots now dancing in her vision seemed to finally bring it to her brains attention that her lungs were burning. She ripped herself away from him, breathing hard. He nipped at her lip, her hands going to grip his biceps. Another ache hit her lower body, much more intense than the first time. He pushed her onto the bed, climbing on top of her. He lifted her a little, moving her farther up the bed so he had plenty of access to the heat between her legs. “I need a taste.” He groaned, an animalistic noise following as he pulled her jeans off. “W-wait. I’m on my period.”

“I know.”

His pupils had become huge. But she didn’t get much of a chance to look as he pushed her panties to the side, testingly licking a stripe up her slit. He let out a groan, wrapping his arms around her thighs. “Delicious.” Those...those were fangs. He had fangs. Holy shit. She scrambled for anything to help her pull away, gripping the bedding to inch herself away from the thing between her legs. “Hey, baby, its alright. I won’t hurt you. I’ll make you feel incredible.” He promised with a wide smile. She was terrified. He used a little bit more of his strength, holding her thighs down on the bed. “I haven’t eaten in so long.” She shook her head. She couldn’t find it in herself to do anything, fear swallowing any words she wanted to say. He started lapping at her slit, glancing up every so often to watch her face. He moved one of his hands, middle finger pushing into her, her biting back a moan, leaning up onto her elbows to watch him carefully. He sucked a little too harshly on her clit, drawing a little yelp of overstimulation from her lips. A second finger slipped into her, the metallic smell of iron invading the air.

She wanted to hide when he pulled his hand away from her heat, but couldn’t, watching him lick his fingers. Then that hand grabbed her again, a little blood left on her hip. A moan was ripped out of her when his tongue dipped in between her folds, teasing her entrance. She reached down, tentatively tangling her fingers in some of his curls, using her other hand to loop her pointer finger around one of his that were gripping her thighs. She wanted to feel involved if this was what was happening. It must’ve been the influence of that alcohol with some punch in it that she had been drinking because it was almost irresistible to start petting his hair, just a little. Her thighs started shaking, him smirking up at her as he lapped up the blood that kept him ‘alive’. She came with a shocked gasp, her hand flying up to cover her mouth. He kept going, her thighs trying to come together to stop him from teasing her, but his grip kept her from going anywhere. He suddenly got up, blood on his face practically from his chin to his nose, his arm wiping over his mouth in a failed attempt to clean himself up.

“Take it off.” He tugged on the top she was still wearing, tossing his own to the floor behind them, quickly moving to the belt at his hips. Y/n pulled off her top and bra, watching him wiggle his pants off, letting out a little laugh as he almost face planted, tight jeans not allowing him to gracefully undress. Vodka worked wonders to suppress the nervous system she was finding. “Turn over. Hands and knees.” He practically growled, her obeying quickly. He entered without warning, Y/n gasping sharply at the pain. He moved his hand to underneath her for support, thankfully giving her a little bit of time to adjust. He started thrusting, her biting her lip rather hard until the stinging pain turned into pleasant pressure. He kissed her shoulder in a surprisingly gentle gesture. “You taste even better than I thought.” He let out another groan, her shivering as a hand slid up to grab her breast. He got faster, her letting out a moan, relieved for it to finally feel good. Sharp teeth grazed her neck, drawing a whimper of fear from her.

“Just a little taste, barely feel it. Promise.” He whispered, lips against her ear. His voice was thick with want, cock throbbing inside her. The prick of his teeth in his neck made her mewl in a way that had her feeling pathetic. He reached down and began to rub slow circles against her clit to distract her. Billy drank for what felt like an eternity, Y/n never more thankful in her life than for the moment he decided he was full. “So tight.” He grunted before turning his attention back to her neck, gently licking at the wound he’d caused. Y/n was feeling light headed. “F-fuck.” She whined, him slowing down, the harshness of his thrusts increasing. The coil that had been steadily growing in her lower belly was about to snap. He kissed her shoulder, heavy breath fanning over her ear. “Come on, baby. Let go.” He practically purred as she released around him. “Fucking hell, you feel so good.” He was getting close himself. And it wasn’t going to happen quietly. “How’s it feel, giving your virginity to a monster? Sinful?” He asked, bitterness seeping into his voice as he refused to slow down his movement against her clit. His thrusts were becoming sloppy, him becoming a little louder, previously keeping his groans and moans as quiet as he could. He came with a choked gasp, teeth pinching her skin as he bit her shoulder (not hard enough to drink this time though). He pulled out, Y/n falling forward, her breath ragged. He stayed hovering over her, hearing him pull deep breathes into his lungs even if it wasn’t really a requirement of survival any more. He turned her over, putting her legs around his hips. He leaned over her and kissed her hard, Y/n choosing to ignore the unpleasant taste of blood as he became gentler. He stole a few more softer kisses, kisses of comfort and appreciation. He dropped his head to her shoulder, her turning to gently bump her forehead against him. He then got up, leaving her in the bed. As soon as Y/n heard water running in the other room, she scrambled for her clothes. She managed to get her bra and top on, hearing the water cut off. He came back in with a wet dish towel, any evidence of her blood gone from his body. Damn that was fast. “Oh are you going?” He asked, her pants halfway up her legs. She nodded, him coming to stand in front of her. “Here, sit.” He pulled her panties down, wiping her off wherever blood was visible. “Can I drive you home?” She tasted drunk. “Okay.” Her voice was soft as he helped her fumbling fingers with her buttons. “Thanks.” She murmured and looked for her shoes. He was smiling when she looked back up.

“I can’t believe I’ve never noticed...your teeth.”

“Most don’t.” He got dressed, watching her sitting on the bed from the corner of his eye. She was the best so far. He’d been watching her for awhile but she didn’t strike him as easy to convince nor was she usually in scenarios where what they just did would be easily explainable. She held his hand as they walked through the woods, trying not to trip, her exhaustion written on her features. He thought it was cute. Most humans were. Her neck was still bleeding a little, Billy pulling out a little first aid kit he kept in his glove box when they got in the car, putting a Transformers bandaid (it was all that they had) on her neck.

He pulled into her driveway. She didn’t tell him where she lived. Maybe. “Thanks.” He didn’t say anything. “See you around I guess.” She got out of the car. Billy sat and watched her stumble into her house.

#billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove #billy hargrove imagine #billy x reader #billy hargrove x fem!reader #billy hargrove imagines #vampire!billy #vampire au #stranger things vampire au #billy hargrove x reader smut #smut #lemon fic #female reader #billy hargrove reader insert #stranger things imagines #just a taste #jat

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huangsilks · 5 years ago

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let your walls down for me (z.cl)

summary: worries about university, SATs, and moving away weighed heavily like a burden on your shoulders. one thing you knew for sure, though, was that your friendship with him wouldn’t falter, and you found solace in that.

pairing: bestfriend!chenle x reader

genre: hurt/comfort, fluff

a/n: hhHHH this is my first actual fic and i’m not v satisfied djsjdjjfjd but i enjoyed writing it and that’s the thing that matters!! if anyone is reading this rn and wants to be friends: hi! i’m cam! i wanna make more friends 🥺 👉🏻👈🏻

“you look like actual shit.” bestfriend!chenle snickers at you, a cheeky grin adorning his features as he pays close attention to the messy side bangs that fell into your face and uniform tie that was thrown on lopsidedly. you roll your eyes as he meets you on the sidewalk in front of your house, the same sidewalk you two had met each morning since second grade. chenle reaches out his hand and brushes your fallen locks behind your ears, chuckling at your irritated expression as you swat his hand away.

“well maybe if someone didn’t keep me up all night playing pubg, i would’ve woken up to my alarm.” you playfully side-eye him, knowing full well that your disheveled state was upon his insistence. flashbacks rang in your head from the night prior, a full seven hours of your life spent gaming that you’d never get back. considering you two would be uni students in just the next year, your sleep schedule was horrendous.

“we need to get more sleep than we do. you know that sleep deprivation is bad for adolescent brain development?” you nag.

“okay, okay. mom.” chenle disregards your light scolding, draping his arm over your shoulders nonchalantly. chenle was naturally a touchy person, even when you guys were little, so you were used to everything at this point— the hand-holding, the back-hugging, the general invasion of space when it came to him. admittedly, you weren’t the biggest fan of skinship, but zhong chenle was always an exception. he did it so often that people thought you two dated (not that you minded).

“your brain is so underdeveloped because you never sleep.” you tease, and he immediately feigns an overdramatic look of hurt, pushing you away from him. you beamed at his comical response. his orange locks radiated in the early morning light, and the up-turned corners of his lips stretch into a shit-eating grin.

“say that to me the next time you ask for calculus help, dipshit.” he mocks, and you stand on your tip-toes to ruffle up his hair, messing up the tangerine coloured locks (although he managed to still look good).

chenle sticks his tongue out at you, putting his arm back on your shoulder the way it was before. you were all smiles at his affectionate nature. a comfortable ambience fell over the two of you, as you basked in the undisturbed sunrise and yielded to the peaceful routine of walking to school.

“so have you asked bora to be your prom date, yet?” you inquired your best friend. jang bora was a good friend of yours both since elementary.

“it’s only the first day of senior year, it’s too early to ask her. what about you? find anyone you’d wanna go with?”

“no, not really. maybe i’ll just go alone.” you complained, scratching the back of your head. it wasn’t that you didn’t want to go, but nobody in particular really caught your eye.

“c’mon, don’t be like that. i know so many guys who would love to be your date, y/n.” chenle leaned in a little closer to whisper in your ears, “and i heard a rumour that park jisung wants to ask you.” he teases you with his gummy grin, a sparkle in his eye meant only for you.

“i don’t think so, chenle.” you shake off his mischievous laughter, holding back a smile of your own. “i think he’s more interested in you than me.” you add subconsciously.

“hey, if it makes you feel any better, you can be my date if bora rejects me. deal?”

“wow, chenle, i just love being your second choice.” you sardonically joke.

it was early autumn, and the typically mediocre scenery of your neighborhood seemed almost picturesque today. the muted orange hues of the fallen leaves perfectly complimented chenle’s bright ginger hair, a byproduct of some mindless bet he lost during summer. you swore that orange hair would look revolting on anyone; but he was zhong chenle, and zhong chenle looked good in everything. you still recalled the self-satisfied cackles chenle made at your widened eyes, because what the hell, chenle? how do you look that good with orange hair?

morning walks with chenle were always a safe haven for you two. all pressures to be considered ‘popular’ or ‘cool’ were reserved for the rest of the day, with other schoolmates and friends, but never with eachother. you liked starting your days off with him, opting to simply enjoy eachother’s presence rather than bombarding eachother with too much talk and mental stimulation at such an early hour. it was in these moments that you two could be at peace with yourselves.

you sigh in contentment at the foreign breeze, recognizing the first sign of autumn. to you, the messy escapades of summer— driving around in chenle’s car during the ungodliest of hours, blasting 80s rock music with the windows down so that the wind would seep into your hair— these events seemed so distant and long-gone. an image of two teenagers huddled haphazardly under a thick blanket, a twitch streamer on the laptop being the only source of light, chewing on shitty leftover pizza as you two struggled to stay awake—these were memories of a hazy dream you’d try so hard to remember. recollections of sandy flip-flops, overly competitive volleyball games, and cloud-watching at the beach, with chenle’s orange head in your lap as he dreamt lazily, airpods in his ears and sunscreen on his nose. these all were snapshots frozen in time. a time that felt lightyears away from the present, a time you’d try so hard to hold onto.

because now, it was the first day of senior year, and everything would be changing. the hustle and bustle of ap classes, sports games, student council, part-time jobs, and the pretense of a social life always kept both you and chenle on your feet. nothing would ever be the same in a few months, as the never-ending questions about university would loom over everyone, the topics of scholarships and SATs and moving away constantly being thrown around. it was all so overwhelming, so burdensome. one thing you knew for sure, though, was that your friendship with chenle wouldn’t falter, and you found solace in that alone.

you were zhong chenle’s best friend since second grade — he was intelligent, charismatic, well-rounded, and widely popular towards the entirety of the school. he assumed the role of student council treasurer, the soccer team’s infamous right midfielder, and subject to much talk amongst the females in your highschool. but with you, he was just zhong chenle, the sweet boy who moved in two doors down from you when you were 9. there was no facade your eyes couldn’t see past.

“hey, y/n?” chenle begins, and you glance up at him next to you, peering through your eyelashes. “can i ask you, like, a serious question?” you nod at your best friend, caught off gaurd by the sudden question.

“does the future ever scare you?” he ponders nervously. you pause in your steps, thinking of the right words to say. chenle looks at his feet, avoiding your eye contact.

“well, whether we like it or not, the future is going to happen, right? and i don’t think there’s any point in fearing the inevitable. the best we can do is try adjust to the changes and enjoy the ride.” you admit, honestly. and if you were anyone else, chenle might’ve laughed at the cheesy answer, might’ve made a joke about how you made everything too serious and tried to lighten the situation. but it was you, and he could trust you with anything.

“but y/n. everything is going to change in a few months. there’s final exams, graduation, and prom. but after that, it’s all just a jumble of ambiguous what-ifs. nothing is assured anymore. i never told you this, but i might have to move away for my soccer scholarship. i’ve never lived away from home and i don’t... i don’t think i can handle it. it’s too much all at once.”

his sudden rant of emotion was laced with anxiety and stress. you instinctively take his larger hand into yours, feeling how shaky and clammy they had become. you knew it took a lot out of him to finally admit those words to you.

“i know how you feel, chenle. but you’re strong. you’ve handled everything life has thrown at you, every single time. you can handle this, too.”

“but— but what if i never come back? the thought of losing everything and everyone scares me, so much.... i can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

his anxious words drifted into the autumn wind, ringing through your mind like a mantra. zhong chenle constantly tried so hard to be perceived as perfect and flawless to the whole world, that sometimes it was shocking when he let his walls come down to you. you don’t respond at first, not sure what to say to his vulnerable confession; so you don’t respond immediately, and instead, you took his face into your hands and stared him in the eyes, feeling the warmth and softness of his skin. you hold out your arms and wrap them around his taller frame, saying nothing for a few moments. you two were silent during this intimate time. when you pulled back, his surprised eyes were filled with tears.

“i know you, zhong chenle. you will get through this. and plus, i’ll never leave your side. it’s always going to be you and me, ok? wherever you go.” you assure him, beaming optimistically. and you meant every word.

he blinked away the tears and laughed, “thank you, y/n, for being my best friend. thank you for staying with me all these years... i love you.” his words left you taken aback. in all your years of friendship, chenle never told you he loved you. you wiped his tears away with your sleeve and laughed at his sad expression.

“awww, i love you too, you dummy. you know that right? now stop crying, you look like a baby.”

chenle snakes his arms around your waist and pinches your sides, sending a tickle jolting up your body. you slap his forearm as he chortles jubilantly in response.

“ow! nevermind, i take it back. i totally hate you.” you mock.

(you love him. very, very much).

he holds your hand all the way to school, and you know that wherever life brought you two in the following months, despite the anxious discussions on university and scholarships and moving away, zhong chenle would always be yours.

#nct drabbles #nct writing #nct writers #nct dream fanfiction #nct dream fluff #nct dream chenle #zhong chenle #nct chenle #nct chenle fluff #nct fluff #nct fanfiction #nct chenle fanfiction #nct dream imagines #nct dream blurbs #nct blurbs #nct drram drabbles #nct imagines

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thinger-strang · 5 years ago

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no one dies and everyone's gay au

Nancy finds Barb when she gets stuck in the Upside Down when she's in the forest with Jonathan (don't ask me about the logistics) and so Steve ends up finding Jonathan and Barb in Nancy's room? And he's confused because at first he'd just seen Jon and thought Nancy was cheating but then he saw Barb walk into the room? (traumatic sleepover time! except Jon stays on the ground and Barb and Nance cuddle on the bed bc they're best friends and BARB WAS MISSING FOR LIKE TWO DAYS I THINK? she deserves snugs)

But Tommy and Carol started talking about how Nancy was probably sleeping with both, everyone knew Barb was the biggest d*ke in Hawkins, Nancy probably got curious about the other side!

He doesn't necessarily agree but still doesn't stop Tommy from spray painting the theater (because Nancy still lied to him? Lying generally meant there was something? going on? idk Steve's just confused and a little hurt rn)

The rest of the season goes pretty much the same, Barb's just there trying to not die and trying to help the Gang™ find Will and fight this bitch ass demogorgon (I don't think she's really be part of the Nancy and Jonathan luring it to the house and fighting it, she'd help with set up and the plan but I think she'd fuck right off when it comes down to facing it, she's had enough monsters for one life time thx)

But she'd so wanna help get Will out so she's there with Joyce and everyone talking to El while she's in the bath finding Will and talking Hop and Joyce about the Upside Down

(and she's been to the hospital, she didn't get a face sucking monster thing so she recovered quicker? idk don't ask logistics again lmao)

But she and Will end up getting along and sometimes when she's hanging out with Nancy and the party comes over she'll say hi to Will and like ruffle his hair

(also I want a little scene after the big monster hunting trip scene where a) Nancy and Jonathan explain everything to Steve and b) where Steve sees Barb again and pulls her into the biggest hug and starts like apologizing for not paying attention that night and for letting her get taken and even though she assured him it wasn't his fault he still feels guilty about it, it was his house, he should have helped her bandage her hand or something? idk but this right here is the beginning of the Barb/Steve friendship and the start of the "fall of King Steve")

cue s2

and so the four get really close, Jonathan and Steve are actually friends (idk what s2 was pulling but they're friends) and Barb talks to Nancy about Steve and Jonathan and Nancy ends up breaking up with Steve way earlier (bc you know none of that drama would have happened if Barb was there so)

But they're all still good friends, Steve's cool about the break up, and Nancy and Jonathan get together but it's not like right after? so it's all chill and they all went through a dramatic experience together so they remain close knit yeah

and Barb eventually comes out to them (everyone's supportive obviously) and Steve's is ready to throw down with anyone for her

cue Billy

the four of them are sizing up the new guy, Nancy doesn't really care, Jonathan thinks his hair is a little ridiculous (which I mean, that first day? when he steps out of the Camaro? yeah it was a lil rough), Barb can see right through his macho bullshit, and Steve? has a little bi meltdown. bc this kid has definitely had boy crushes before and knows he likes both (kid listens to queen of course he knew he was bi lmao)

blah blah blah s2 happens, Barb, Steve, and Billy have the same English class and Billys generally quiet during school, kinda stand-off-ish, only really bugs people during gym/basketball, but he literally sits in the back and does absolutely nothing during class and still somehow has the highest grade

(FUCK him and Barb get paired for a project and she fucking calls him out? like she's just like you're gay I'm lesbian you can cut the crap around me and they become...not friends? but they have solidarity, they're cool)

and I'm a slut for this trope but BILLY FIGHTS DEMODOGS WITH THEM lmao he hears Max sneak out and follows her and finds her in the junkyard armouring up a bus with fucking Harrington and a couple of nerds? and like the sun is setting and he needs to get Max home so he's like "Maxine! I don't know what the fuck this is and I don't fucking care, we gotta go!" and the four are like yelling at him to either leave or get in the bus! and he's so confused, I'm not here to play games Max! and Steve's running out of the bus with a FUCKING NAIL BAT WHAT THE FUCK HARRINGTON? And Steve's like behind you! and swings at a demodog. Billy has a borderline panic attack before he finds like a fender or exhaust pipe or whatever and starts swinging too

the dogs run away and Billy rounds onto Steve like what the living shit was that? and Steve has to explain everything with Dustin and Lucas interrupting and Max shrugging and trying to understand too? it's a mess

s2 continues with Billy and with HOPPER NOT BEING ABLE TO STAND HIM bc he's caught him speeding and underage drinking and shit and Billy's nervous as hell around cops which makes him mouthy and ITS A MESS

they're all at Joyce's (Barb's there too bc Will's possessed and they need to check up on her too? and she's concerned for Will anyway yeah she's in this too) and El shows up and Steve and Billy are just like what? another one? who the fuck? like Steve heard about her but this isn't a tiny child without hair??? idk it's funny

BILLY WITH AN AXE IN THE TUNNELS

(obviously Steve isn't passed out and the kids don't drive the car, it's Billy's awful impulse control that leads to them going into the tunnels)

okay I couldn't decide where to put Barb here? so I left her with Steve and Billy to babysit and she ends up in the tunnels too? and she's def handling it better than the boys are fuck yeah

Steve has his bat and is in front and Billy found an axe in the pile of shit from the Byers' shed and he pulls up the end

it's awesome

yada yada Steve and Billy end up becoming weirdly good friends by the end and he's good with him and Barb, idk about Nance and Jon but eh

s3 now

Billy ends up getting two jobs; lifeguard and cook at Benny's (bc he's alive too, fight me bitches this is the ultimate fix it) and Barb ends up working as a waitress there too (and working together builds the weirdest bonds so they are besties now)

everything in s3 is pretty much the same but with diner scenes too? and like all the Hawkins moms swarm Benny's too and leave lipstick stains on their kitchen tips and "send my compliments to the chef *wink*"

Billy eats it up but Barb can tell he also kinda hates it bc he's barely 18 and not even remotely into women and it makes him super uncomfortable but publicly he "loves" it (he starts wearing tank tops to the pool and tries to hide out in the kitchen but it really doesn't work)

he still gets caught up with the mind flayer but it's not bc he's about to sleep with Karen bc ew, idk why he's driving out by the warehouse idk maybe he's out on a drive bc he can't sleep yeah

anyway he gets caught up but like he knows, or kind of knows, what this is and calls in sick to both jobs and talks to Hopper bc WHAT THE FUCK isn't the gate closed? I got face fucked my an interdimensional monster so unless you know where the fuck that came from?? and they deal with it earlier (most of the shit still happens but it's less...messy? like Hop and Joyce are more involved in the Billy shit and Steve knows about it?)

Steve still gets caught up with the Russians (I don't think he'd have a chance to tell anyone (specifically Hopper) bc he finds out about Billy then the elevator stuff happens like right after and yada yada)

so for most of the season it's them trying to actually help Billy! and they end up saving a lot of people? (specifically Heather bc she was really nice to Billy and I want he to live fight me it's my au)

but enough people get melted and shit that starcourt still get destroyed blah blah blah!

but Billy makes it and so does Hop and Alexie (no one dies au) and they all end up doing the thing in the mall like they did in the shed with Will? like breaking Billy out? Barb talks about working at the diner and their secret and Steve talks about them hanging out and playing basketball and the tunnels and Max talks about Billy buying her a new board and them scream-singing along to ACDC in the Camaro and the kids mention him giving them rides and shit and yeah! El talks about his mom and that's it! Joyce and Hop close the gate while Billy's holding the one arm (he doesn't get stabbed in the chest, as cool as that scar would be, no...but he gets some on his hands and upper arms and his sides?)

(also Billy's drinking like bleach rn so they try and reverse that as much as possible while he's possessed so that he has a better recovery later bc no! chlorine is not good for you! and Billy tries so hard to not drink it but sometimes he can't fucking stop? idk but he has a support system now!)

and Robin came out to Steve and Steve comes out to her too? like kinda? he alludes to it vaguely bc he's so not ready to be out to anyone FUCK

And Billy comes out to Steve (he was planning on doing it earlier that summer but shit happened)

and Robin becomes friends with everyone (ITS ROBIN X BARB HOURS BITCHES)

(OKAY small like side shit? Benny and Hopper have known each other for years and Benny's like one of the only registered foster parents on Hawkins so he ends up fostering a lot of wayward kids while Hop figures out legal stuff (he hasn't adopted anyone yet but him and his husband (yeah Benny's gay deal with it) really want to? they just haven't yet, all the kids they take care of end up in their care temporarily) BUT Hop finds out about Billy and Max's home life (I know a lot of people write that Neil wouldn't hit Max but...nah son not how that works? idk but he needs to get them out? and Neil's bad to Susan too (he's the worst to Billy but still bad to Max and Susan) anyway Hop helps Susan leave Neil (it takes a while and Billy and Max end up with Benny for a little bit while the divorce is going down and all the legal shit yeah it's safer out of the house rn) long story short Billy ends up staying with Benny after everything and ends up getting adopted (they're like we know you're 18 and you don't need a guardian but if you want we can be your dads? and Billys like yeah sure that'd be nice and yeah) Hop ends up being a weird like uncle figure? idk like I said him and Benny are close and they both adopted kids so yeah? and Billy ends up considering El his little sister and he still visits Max and Susan and yeah?)

ANYWAY everything kind of calms down, Hop and Joyce get together (I just realized I forgot about Bob so...idk I guess this isn't an everyone survives au? no no that's weird um idk him and Joyce end up breaking up idk why) but yeah Hop and Joyce get together and like it's kind of fast but they've been in love for a long time so it's kind of fine? like idk but yeah

Barb and Robin get together (ITS FUCKING CUTE they go to aquariums and have paint dates where they sit on some old sheets and paint while listening to Robin's records ITS CUTE!)

STEVE COMES OUT TO EVERYONE! he definitely cries bc fuck he was scared! bc he likes both and he wasn't sure if that was a thing or whatever for a while and Billy's like oh yeah, like David Bowie or Freddie Mercury? and that's when Steve's cries bc oh thank God you guys get it and you're cool with it oh fuck and YEAH

UM Max is bi too, Will comes out as gay (listen I know none of this is like 80's realistic but everyone's gay and alive and happy, fuck off)

Um it takes forever for Billy and Steve to get together, it's awful. like Barb and Robin have to deal with their pining and shit? and like Robin hears about it from Steve at work and Barb hears about it from Billy at the diner and they put their knowledge together and make a Plan ™

it's like elaborate and dramatic (shut up they're all like 18-19) and shit? BUT LMAO okay one day they're all hanging out at Steve's (bc I've also hopped aboard the neglectful parents train sorry) and idk Steve and Billy are there before Robin and Barb are so the girls walk in on them arguing over whatever and like Billy's talking really fast and Steve's talking with his hands and idk what it's about but Billy ends up yelling that he loves him BUT THEY KEEP ARGUING FOR LIKE A SOLID MINUTE AFTER THAT BEFORE IT HITS THEM and Steve gets all quiet and is just like you love me? and Billy doesn't fucking know what to do?? he's like bright red and frozen and Robin and Barb are by the door trying to not like break the spell (bc it's been months guys) and Billy's like of course I do asshole and Robin thinks Steve's about to have a panic attack but he like rushes forward and cups Billy's face and kisses him senseless and it's like the best thing Robin and Barb have ever seen

and they're resting their foreheads together, Steve's still holding Billy's face and Billy has his hands on Steve's chest it's really tender but Robin's like yeah congrats and shit but you guys ruined our Plan™! and she gives them a long ass rundown of their elaborate scheme and Steve and Billy are like still touching and bumping into each other as they listen and Barb interrupts and says that this was better and Robin rolls her eyes but agrees

and they're watching a movie or whatever, cuddling in their respective couples and Steve fucking jumps up randomly and rounds on Billy like hey woah fuck I love you too, I didn't say that earlier! and Billy's looking up at him like yeah I know that asshole and yeah

#okay this is s u p e r long sorry #but also not #harringrove #robin x barb #fix-it #stranger things #the ultimate fix-it #pls ask me stuff about this im so down to ramble about this?#pls #fic #my stuff #also idk how to do keep reading thungs so sorry 😬#also i barely mention nancy jon the kids or the adults #this is about my gay quad #buckland #bobin #my writings

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celesecretsanta · 5 years ago

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@froggystyles : hello, hello, hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💛💖💞🥰🌞🌙💘🌻🌿💝💖❣🍉💞⭐🎇💓🍒

jdshk to be fairrrr, i could be in a completely different timezone, buuut the truth is it was around 5am i sent it :/ askjdhk yes, that'd be an ICONIC look on crowley

oh yeah, it is solo work which makes it. Different. ah, yes falling. really. punches you in the gut. and calls you out. and we jst. let him huh. i think it resonates w/ me bc. i've changed so much in the past 5yrs and i don't love the person i;m becoming?? i mean, i don't hate myself, it's more, i'm accepting of things i shouldn't be accepting of and idk . much 2 think abt!

hey well, if you have the power to make what you write abt yourself come true, write positive stuff and see what happens! (also: do you have a diary/journal that you write in daily? i wrote religiously 5th-8th grade and in 9th grade, i stopped. kinda wanna get back on it, but i can never stay consistent :/)

ahh okay, so basically it's a tv show remake of the musical?? idk . it's on disney+ & i my bi ass love the characters with my whole heART

hmmm that's if i ever get around to writing smth hdsfkj but! when i do, i'll definitely share w/ you :') it's more original work than an au (but! y'know how louis's the sun and harry's the moon? well. the main couple in mine are wlws & one's middle name is solange (means sun) & the other's mahina (means moon) so.. hl are my inspo as well)

i think . we feel more true to ourselves bc our lesbian mother, the moon, is out and ready to love us. just a theory sdkjfh

ooH, so you're more like an only child.. validish.sdfkj and yes, that is a big age difference. i have three younger sisters with a 2yr / 6yr / 8 yr age diff so we're pretty close (*however: i fell asleep during the maze runner and my sisters left me. on the living room floor . to wake up with an 90y/o back . is that "close" .)

ahsdkjfhk i can only do and just barely do math. i'm learning to drive rn bc my permit expires in april rip and i Hate it. i've tried cooking and it's alright?? i just don't have the patience for it

TUNAAA it's just that i used to love tuna and have good memories attached to it and jst . haven't had it in ages. wellll, i've have tuna subs from subway, but that Doesn't Count

oH praar is a beautiful name!! i'm sending my love right back to them 💛💝 nahh, that's only for winter. fall, spring, and summer, my bed's a mess

ahHH YES, they're soft and in Love and [interviewer voice] that's beautiful, harry reading fics tbh is all like 'damn i wish that were me.jpg'

HE REALLY DOES!! he's come a Long Way and i'm very proud of that, but thinking abt how ppl fixate on one (1) bad thing makes me very, very angry

omggg, 2016!! that was . a Trip, to say the least . anD NOOAFSHDKJ @ 2015 you

my friends made me watch the wymb music video at the end of 4th grade (so summer 2012) and it was Downhill from theredskjfh but no, so i knew of their existence and everything but loWkey, i only liked them bc my friends did. also i had like. google alerts set up so i knew all the Drama oof. also. tragicallyyyy i shipped elouno (10y/o me thought she was pretty ok) in 2016 though, i watched The One fimq video and sold my soul & sanity to the devil as i became the biggest larrie

oH RTTTT i went to college early bc i was ""smart"" and now . everything sucks bc i'm not the person i thought i was and i feel myself burning out but i don't care enough to Care y'know . but!! day by day, right! we just have to sit. and reflect. and change a little something each day to be the better person

💘🌻❤✨💞

yes!!! books have a way of transporting you away from reality. most times i feel like i am watching life zoom by me and that i'm living on autopilot and i don't know how to take back control? i guess we both have ''much 2 think abt!''

odaat!!!! i love that show omg, so glad it was picked up. and yeah, i think that since we are jUst getting rep, it isn't going to be super relatable for everyone. when i was younger, i latched on to any and every desi person, no matter how toxic/bad the rep was lol. i rmbr rlly liking ravi from jessie . rn, i really like skam for rep tbh

babe you knowing that you were who you needed early on is amazing. i know you'll time will come, you just have to take it ahah . one day at a time .

and this has to be my fave quote abt reading: “I have lived a thousand lives and I’ve loved a thousand loves. I’ve walked on distant worlds and seen the end of time. Because I read.” --George R.R. Martin

life comes at you quick huh . my room doesn't feel mine oops, but!! i really want to hang up pictures in mine, fill up the walls with love and whatnot

okay! so! do you listen to music for the melody or the lyrics? some fics/books you'd rec?

last notes: m listeing to lorde rn and thinking of you :')

may life be softer, ✨

#thank YOu for being you!!!#ily and m sending you good vibes 💕💖💜🤎🤞🏽🌟🎇🌻💝💛

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