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bettsfic · 3 years ago

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accepting new clients!

so good news, i'm making writing coaching my full time job. i even filed an LLC, which i probably should have done sooner since i've been doing this now for two years. Going Legit, babey. pro zoom subscription and everything.

here's my cool new logo by the amazing @significationary!

what i can do:

break out a novel idea and provide accountability through the writing process until you have a draft ready to send out

the same as above but with fanfic

help with the agent querying process if you're interested in traditional publishing

provide ongoing developmental (big picture) feedback on your work as well as your overall writing

brainstorm solutions to said feedback

once a piece is structurally ready, i can offer sentence-level edits and also go over them with you to explain my reasoning

help you prepare a writing sample and apply to creative writing MFAs, workshops, residencies, fellowships, and awards

come up with practical, process-based solutions for completing work for those who are neurodivergent or struggle with executive function

help you narrow down a daunting wip list, or develop ideas that you've had on the backburner for a while

offer reading recommendations of work in conversation with yours

for real, wherever you're at in your writing life, i'll meet you there. i've worked with established authors, people just starting out, and writers at all stages in between. to me what's most important is helping you get on the page exactly the things that are in your brain in a way that you can feel proud of, and coaching you toward your goals as a writer by providing ongoing accountability, feedback, and clear-cut tasks to complete each month.

here's how it works:

you can just straight-up book a session. you don't even need to talk to me first (though you can always feel free to DM me).

you send me some of your work to read ahead of time (optional).

we get on zoom. i ask you questions about your writing life. you answer them. i take notes. if applicable, i offer feedback on your piece, plus reading recommendations and, if you're interested in ongoing coaching, an action plan for moving forward with your writing goals.

i shoot you an invoice via paypal after the call. you book another session whenever you're ready to talk again. most of my clients meet with me monthly, but i can make exceptions to meet more frequently. i also have several clients who only meet with me once or twice a year. (no pressure on frequency. everyone moves at their own pace.)

boom. all your dreams come true*

*might take a while though

i have 1.5 graduate degrees in creative writing pedagogy, and i've taught writing at the university level for 5 years. obvs i'm also an avid fangirl with a deep respect not just for fanfiction, but for all creative pursuits. to get a better idea of my writing beliefs, you can scroll through my writing advice tag.

for more of my credentials, feel free to click around my website. you can also check out the testimonials from my clients.

if you don't want a full consultation, i still have a few commissions open on ko-fi for line edits or a crit letter.

please don't hesitate to reach out via ask or DM if you have any questions. i'm also on twitter, and i have a monthly-ish lowkey writing-related newsletter.

reblogs are welcome!

#writing advice #lkwrnl #wcc #goes without saying but you have to be over 18 to book

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bettsfic · 4 years ago

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march pinned: ending the sex project

in the march edition of my lowkey writing-related newsletter, in addition to my writing-related post roundup and upcoming consultation availability, i have personal essay recommendations and a segment on the definition of a project!

for more information on my creative coaching services, check out my carrd.

if you want to receive my lowkey writing-related newsletter directly, you can subscribe here.

full newsletter below the cut, or you can read it here.

fuck february, amiright?

i thought january was bad. but february. february was the stuff of nightmares. my cousin passed away from covid (you can read about her here; she was really an amazing person and i feel so lucky to have known her). i was finally formally diagnosed with PCOS (bittersweet, i guess). my car broke down. i took two (2) days off and it took me two and a half weeks to get caught up again. i can only hope march treats us all a little more gently.

the good news is, i finished revisions on my short story collection to send to my agent, finished workshop submissions for the semester, and now i can return to my first love, fanfiction. that i am constantly working through original fiction to return to fanfiction has been making me think a lot about the nature of a creative, capital-p Project. so, this month’s BTALA (been thinkin a lot about) is going to inspect the concept of a “project.”

new resource

last month i unveiled a folder of my favorite short stories which i’m pleased to hear several of you have perused and gotten some inspiration from. this month i’ve compiled my favorite personal essays. there are fewer essays than there are short stories because i’ve broken them into two groups: personal and craft. next month i hope to have the craft essays compiled.

i’m always looking for more things to love, so if you have recommendations for your favorite short stories and essays, i’d be happy to hear them!

writing-related posts

how to physically maneuver the revision process

the difference between M and E ratings of fic

resources for worldbuilding (check out the reblogs for more!)

a couple syntax/prose book recs

how to break a long work into chapters

march availability

unfortunately i have to cut my coaching hours down a bit, so i don’t have any openings left in march, but i have some availability in april. if you’re interested in a writing consultation, please fill out this google form!

you can learn more about my services on my carrd.

what i’m into rn

for the past year, i’ve basically been trapped in a 10x10 room, and my health is definitely reflecting that, both mentally (does anyone else feel like they’re living in groundhog day? just, every day being exactly the same except fractionally worse than the day before??) and physically (i reorganized the kitchen and could barely move for two days).

reader, i have discovered something called “walking,” in which i put on real human shoes and go outside. it feels strange, bestial. neighbors wave hello to me. a harrowing experience.

while doing this, this walking, i’ve been listening to the lolita podcast which a friend recommended to me, a ten-episode series that dives into everything lolita: the novel itself, its context, adaptations, greater cultural responses, and — as a sticker on my laptop says — vladimir “russian dreamboat” nabokov. as far as i can tell it seems well-researched and presents the many perspectives of lolita in a fair way. i’m only a few eps in, but i’m entranced so far. highly recommended if you, like me, have a complicated relationship with lolita.

i’ve also found myself mildly addicted to a mobile otome game called obey me, which. look i know it’s like the definition of cringe but it’s also mind-numbingly fun and if i want to spend my minimal free time pretending 7 demon brothers are all vying for my affection then that’s between me and god. it’s a lot of what i loved about WoW: frequent events, bright colors, a daily to do list of simple but satisfying tasks, many many rewards, and it doesn’t take itself very seriously. and if i have 4k fic written of mammon/reader that’s nobody’s business but mine and my longsuffering ao3 subscribers.

i’m telling you this because i don’t know anyone else who plays it and am desperate to trade headcanons. so if you play, or start playing, hit me up!! i will give u mad tips and daily AP.

been thinkin a lot about

the project. the project. even the word “project.” PROject (noun). proJECT (verb). what is the project? “project” comes from the latin pro and jacare which means “to throw forward,” or projectum which means “something prominent.” a projector throws forward an image. to project onto something means to throw your perspective onto something else. to embark on a project is to make something prominent in your life. the concept of “the projects” comes from public housing projects, the government throwing forward affordable housing.

what is the project? in joseph harris’ essay “coming to terms” he says that “to define the project of a writer is…to push beyond his text, to hazard a view about not only what someone has said but also what he was trying to accomplish by saying it.” harris’ perspective is that of an english teacher encouraging his students to read critically, not just to summarize a text but to find its project, its greater purpose. and while i first read this essay in a seminar on composition pedagogy, it stuck with me as a writer. it made me reconsider the greater nature of the creative project.

how many of us, if asked to describe our writing project, would begin with a plot or character premise, the nuts and bolts of a specific story? maybe even the working title? but i wonder, is breaking out the plot really the project? is the discipline of sitting down and typing really the project? and when the story is finished, is the project over? what is the project?

in 2019, i wrote 86k words of a novel. i began revising that novel last fall, and i’m finding that i’ll probably keep maybe less than 10k of that initial draft. i’m not bothered by that. the novel i wrote before that started at 125k, then i rewrote the entire thing to 200k, then i whittled it back down to 160k, and next i’ll be tasked with paring it back down to 80k. i’m not bothered by that either. in the past five years or so i’ve written about 2 million words, and i’ve only published 20k of them. only 1% of what i’ve written, i’ve published. in the words of lauren cooper (catherine tate), i’m not bothered.

i used to see publication as the birth of the project, and writing it akin to a long gestation period. then i saw publication as the death of the project, and its life was lived in its drafting. now, publication seems irrelevant to the project. the confines of a story and its many revisions are also irrelevant to the project. the beginning of a story is not the start of the project and the end of the story is not the end of the project. the project is larger than the story, its revisions, its publication, and its eventual readership.

i think it took me so long to see this because for so many years i was still in my first project, the sex project, an exploration of trauma and sexual identity, which began in 2014 with destiel fanfiction, endured through many fandom shifts, my MFA, years adrift as an adjunct, all the way through 2020 with the completion of my short story collection. i used to wonder how anyone could write about anything other than sex. to me it was the only topic worth my attention. i was certain that i would spend my entire life being a sex writer and i’d never find fulfillment writing a young adult sci fi adventure or a highly literary novel about complicated family dynamics. i was baffled by people who were interested in other things, who could write entire novels without using the word “cock” even once.

then my sex project ended. i don’t know when exactly it happened or why, but suddenly i realized i never wanted to write another artful description of an orgasm or find a tactful euphemism for a vagina ever again (personally i prefer “wet cunt” because not only is it blunt, i find it phonetically pleasing). obviously i’m still writing explicit fanfic but it doesn’t feel the same as it used to. sex feels more sidelined to me, even if it’s still the center and drive of a fic. i no longer get any personal satisfaction from writing it, although i do get satisfaction in sharing the work for readers to enjoy.

it’s like i’ve somehow solved the biggest puzzle of my life. or i guess made peace with my meanest monster, that extremely complicated double-mind of desire that some non-sex-repulsed asexuals feel: you want to feel desire you can’t actually feel so you write it into fiction, to try to understand this thing you can’t have and which society tells you you’re missing, and you don’t even know if you don’t have it, because you still feel desire for affection and intimacy, and maybe even a desire to be desired. and for those of us who are asexual and have c-ptsd, sex you don’t actually want (but don’t know you don’t want, because maybe you’re ambivalent and mildly curious and touch-starved) and an unrelenting drive toward people-pleasing can be a dangerous combination. how can you ever know what consent is if you always put other people’s desires above your own?

maybe i’m alone in this. maybe i’m not. maybe for most people, wanting sex is a light switch: yes i want it, or no i don’t. but for me, i had to write a whole lot of words to figure out things like desire, consent, intimacy, forgiveness, the shape that good love takes. the lengthy theoretical flowchart of “i might be interested in having sex if this and this and this and this and this happens in this exact order and under these exact circumstances.”

it was hard to write something into reality that i have never seen except in pieces, in subtext i clung to with no lexicon to give it shape and meaning. te lawrence in lawrence of arabia. some of tarantino’s early work. the film benny and joon. and weirdly, the star wars prequels (that one’s hard to explain; i’ll spare you). i don’t think the sex project was about coming to terms with my asexuality as much as it was trying to organize my thoughts and feelings by continuously rendering my own experiences within a greater, shinier ideal — like how you sometimes have to unravel the entire skein of yarn to find the loose end, and only then can you get started.

i guess i’m in the infancy of the power project now. i’m moving toward themes of control, infamy, greatness. the exact circumstances in which atrocity occurs. how people rise into leadership and fall from grace. the consequences of success. i don’t know why this project has come to me, or what, if anything, it has to do with me. i’m not famous and have no intention of becoming famous; i don’t have social power or influence, at least not beyond my little corner of fandom, and i’m not interested in having it. and yet, here we are, already hundreds of thousands of words in.

my fics digging for orchids (tgcf) and a standing engagement (the hunger games) deal with the detriments of fame. and even float (breaking bad) to a degree is about the aftermath of being so close to power. my novel cherry pop, loosely based on macbeth, is about an ongoing power exchange between two teenage girls. my other novel, vandal, is about a girl who believes she has magic powers and casts a spell on her neighbor to fall in love with her. and i’m in the very early stages of a novel called groundswell, a cult story i’ve been wanting to write for years. i had no idea why i couldn’t write it until i realized it wasn’t yet my project. i’m not even to the stage of developing characters, let alone a premise or plot. i’m still just building my aesthetic pile (i discuss the aesthetic pile here, as well as vandal in more detail), watching documentaries on cults, reading books, finding inspiration, marking down ideas as they come. it may be years before i’m ready to sit down and write it.

now that i know what the project is, i have more patience with myself. it doesn’t bother me to rewrite a novel from the beginning, or to scrap novels altogether, because the story isn’t the project. the project cannot be diminished by cutting words, sentences, paragraphs, entire chapters. the project does not have a product. the project cannot be published. the project is in the practice, in dragging the impossibly large into clear, acute existence, so you can see it. so you can see the very center of what you thought was an unknowable thing.

#pinned #lkwrnl

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bettsfic · 3 years ago

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i'm doing another fanauthor workshop! let me know if you have any questions!

The Fanauthor Workshop is back!

In 2017, I (@bettsfic) ran the first Fanauthor Workshop as an independent study. Since then, I've had a lot of requests to bring it back. I'm glad to say it's finally time!

Check out my website for more information, or just keep reading.

About

The Fanauthor Workshop is a biannual Zoom course for writers of fanfiction. My goal is to create a supportive space for fanauthors to receive constructive feedback on fanfiction, original fiction, or creative nonfiction. If desired, I also provide guidance on moving outside of fan spheres to traditional publishing or other creative writing programs such as MFAs.

Participants of the workshop receive:

Attendance in a 6-week course during which you’ll provide feedback to your peers and workshop one piece of your own work, up to 6,000 words.

Access to the Fanauthor Workshop Discord server, where you’ll be able to chat with other workshop members, plus a private channel for your group specifically.

A one-hour consultation with me to go over your workshop feedback, come up with a plan for revision and/or publication, or anything else you’d like to discuss regarding your writing.

2022 Sessions

Spring

Applications open January 15 and close March 12.

Spring session will take place on Fridays, April 15 through May 20.

Group A: 12 to 2pm EST

Group B: 6 to 8pm EST

Fall

Fall session is TBD, most likely October through mid-November, with applications opening in late July/early August.

How to Apply

Eligibility

Anyone over the age of 18 who considers themselves a participant of fandom and who is familiar with fanfiction may apply.

Cost

$250 USD, to be paid via PayPal prior to the start of workshop. All proceeds go toward startup capital for OFIC Press, a publisher of book-length works from fanauthors. (See @oficmag for more info and vibes.)

I recognize this amount may be a hurdle for some, so please don’t let it deter you from applying. If you’re unsure you can pay this amount in full, we can set up an installment plan.

Application requirements

To apply, you will need:

A brief cover letter discussing your fan history and goals as a (fan)writer (more specific instructions in the link below).

Maximum 2,000 words of your writing, either original fiction or fanfiction. This may be previously published/posted work.

My Qualifications

I have an MFA in creative writing pedagogy and significant coursework toward a PhD in English.

I've taught English composition and creative writing at the university level for five years.

I've been a writing coach and freelance editor for the past two years.

I'm a published author and I've won several awards (see website for more info).

I've written and posted over two million words of fanfiction.

To learn more about me and what I'm about, here's my newsletter. I've also compiled all the writing advice asks I've answered over the past five years, so you can get a sense of my views on writing and teaching.

If the information you're looking for isn't listed here, check out the FAQ or send me an ask. The Fanauthor Workshop is also on twitter.

Or if you're ready, you can apply here.

#fanauthor workshop #lkwrnl

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bettsfic · 4 years ago

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february pinned: the real & the ideal

in this month’s edition of my lowkey writing-related newsletter, in addition to my writing-related post roundup and consultation availability, i have short story recommendations for you and an essay on the nature of reality in fiction!

if you want to receive my lowkey writing-related newsletter directly, you can subscribe here.

in other news, i finished two fics this month:

digging for orchids (hualian, 43k, explicit, fake marriage au)

let ruin end here (hualian, 8k, mature, neighbors au)

full newsletter below the cut, or you can read it here.

oof,

what a month. january is already a rough time. throwing in a pandemic, a coup, and an economic revolution spearheaded by reddit just seems unfair. as for me personally, the spring semester came at me fast and even though it’s only week 2, i am already buried in grading. which i realize is my fault, considering i’m the one who assigned homework.

so after hearing your feedback, i thought i’d make this newsletter even more writing-related by writing more about writing. this month i’ll start off by talking about the nature of reality in fiction in a segment i call “been thinkin a lot about.” more on that below.

new resource

i’ve compiled a folder of PDFs of the short stories i teach most often, which is to say, the stories i like enough to re-read every semester. most of them are literary fiction but a few veer into fantasy, sci fi, and horror.

i know before the MFA, i didn’t really know what a short story was. like i knew, abstractly, the concept of a short story (it is as it sounds), but i could only list a couple i’d ever read as an adult, and i hadn’t read anything that had been published in the last decade. i remember wondering why i was even being asked to care about short stories. who writes short stories? who reads them? apparently, a lot of people. short storyists are a lot like fanwriters in that they make no money and when you talk about your writing in public, people give you that “why would anyone waste their time with that?” look.

so here’s why i was asked to care about short stories: a good short story gives you the entirety of a world in a very condensed space. moreover, it can sometimes leave you as satisfied as a novel in a fraction of the reading time. all the stories i’ve compiled here are ones that stuck with me, that i find myself recommending over and over to writers who want a good example of developing character, or weird narration, or establishing stakes.

if you’re a writer considering publication or an MFA in creative writing, i highly recommend familiarizing yourself with short stories, if for no other reason than to get the feel for them so you can write some of your own. if you can get a few short story publications under your belt, it’ll be easier to open doors when you’re ready to query agents for a novel. also, short stories make a great writing sample for grad programs, workshops, fellowships, residencies, and grant funding.

if you want to check out more short stories but have no idea where to start, the 2020 best american short stories just dropped in november, or if you want a cheaper one, used copies of 2019 and earlier are available on thriftbooks. if you want an overview of the history of the (american) short story, there’s also the best american short stories of the century. fair warning, though, while it’s more diverse than expected, it’s still a bit heavy on dead-white-dude writing.

content warning: the stories in the above-linked folder may depict instances of sexual assault, suicide, and/or abuse. i have not labeled them individually with warnings but i hope to soon, as well as provide a catalog with summaries.

i’m also still working on my essay and novel recs. more to come on that hopefully next month.

writing-related posts

how i quit my banking job to do a creative writing MFA

how i learned to read faster/stop subvocalizing

how to write when you have no time or energy to write

my experience writing fic in small/dead fandoms (aka fics that will probably not get any traffic)

how to describe facial expressions

how to ask for help from your professors

how to navigate tenses during flashbacks

how to separate yourself from your work

how (and why you might want to) write a shitty first draft

why you should consider making the climax the inciting incident

for a complete list of my writing-related posts, check out this masterdoc (which i still need to update it with the past few months’ posts).

stuff i’m into rn

i’m about halfway through the rhetoric of fiction by wayne c. booth which has more or less become my narrative bible. it’s a little dated (1961) but it tackles banal writing adages that are somehow still believed, like “show don’t tell” and whatnot, and breaks them down with amazing insight, clarity, and research. it’s a bit of a dense text so i’m only reading a few pages a day, i think the first time i’ve ever let myself read something so intentionally slowly. now i’m kind of obsessed with doing things slowly. reading slowly, writing slowly, cooking slowly. i even drive slowly, because it’s so rare to go anywhere at all, and i want to enjoy it. also, it’s very snowy where i am. also also, the battery died in my car this month and i really have to make it a point to drive more often.

february availability

i have 2 openings for initial writing consultations in february! if you’re interested, please fill out this google form.

you can learn more about my services on my carrd.

been thinkin a lot about

compulsory reality in fiction. many of us have probably received feedback along the lines of, or thought to ourselves as we read, “that’s not realistic.” many of us believe, consciously or not, that fiction that is more “realistic” is inherently better than fiction that is less “realistic.” for some of us, real means a saturation of details, the clear depiction of the surfaces of things. reality is found in the rendering thereof; if you can “see” it, it’s real. for others of us, it might be the development of complex characters and their growth across a narrative. and for yet others, reality is subtlety, or misery, or the idea of “slice of life,” a term i don’t think means anything, because aren’t all stories a slice of a character’s life? what would a story that’s not a slice of life look like? you’d either have to take away the “slice” part and render a whole life, which is impossible, or you’d have to take away the “life” part and create a dead story, which may be possible, but why would you want to? even if you wrote a story about a rock, the rock would be brought to life by virtue of being written about.

anyway. i think the word “real” is a shitty word for the same reason “slice of life” is a shitty phrase: everything is real and therefore nothing cannot be real. slices of life are all we know because we are alive and cannot truly perceive not being alive; reality is also all we know, and any depictions beyond reality are thus made real because they have been depicted.

so the “goal” for fiction to be “realistic” seems to me to be a false one. all fiction is real because it exists and no fiction can be truly real because it’s only a facsimile of reality. not to get all “this is not a pipe” but writing is just making squiggles, and we as a community of English-knowers agree that certain squiggles correspond to certain sounds, and certain sounds together make words which conjure meanings. and words put together into sentences into paragraphs conjure even more complicated meanings. and when those paragraphs are woven into narrative we create yet more and more complicated meaning.

every time you write anything — a text message, an email, a tweet, a fanfic — you are taking the infinite abstraction of your own cognition, narrowing it into a single concept, and representing that concept with patterns in the form of sounds represented by letters and given meaning with words, so that the infinite abstraction of your own conscience can be fractionally witnessed by the infinite abstraction of someone else’s. and even though we can’t definitively prove for ourselves that any other thing possesses a consciousness, writing shows us the shape of someone else’s mind, and tells us we are not alone.

and yet we still expect writing to be “real.”

have you ever read a story where a character sneezed? like just, a description of a sneeze for the sake of it, with no purpose or function in the plot? if not, is it because our characters aren’t real enough to sneeze, or because the sneeze isn’t relevant to their plight? what would a written sneeze look like, and why would somebody want to write it? moreover, why would somebody want to read it? that leads me to wonder, do we depict reality in the service of narrative, or narrative in the service of reality? in other words, do we write to portray reality (sans sneezing), or do we depict reality to constrain our writing, the way one might request bumpers when bowling so as not to fall in the gutters?

i’ve never read an artful rendition of a character pissing or shitting, either, even when those things are related to a character’s plight and circumstance — stories involving long road trips, living in the woods, being kidnapped. the only exception i can think of is when those things are eroticized (we do not kinkshame here in this lkwrnl), the same way it’s rare to find detailed sex writing that isn’t for the purpose of reader arousal. are there just some things about the nature of being human that are too intimate, too complex, or too boring to write?

once i wrote a murder that takes place in a small fictional midwestern town in the 90s (for the ~aesthetic), and it went uninvestigated by said town’s police force. early readers repeatedly commented along the lines of, “that’s not realistic.” and i thought, no, if anything, the incompetence of police is too realistic for the heightened reality i’m trying to render. have you ever heard of a cop solving a murder that didn’t come with an obvious suspect or immediately found evidence? i haven’t. that doesn’t mean those cases don’t exist, but i definitely think they’re less likely than mass media has us believe, and the average small-town police force has far less motivation (and possibly training) to solve crimes than we think.

i started working on the above-mentioned novel in 2016, and my goal was to depict a reality that hovers above the surface of plausibility. in this novel, which is based on macbeth, a preteen girl, mercy, becomes jealous of the love her best friend elisa shows to her father. mercy decides to get her older and very unstable brother to kill him. naturally the deed goes awry, but it does occur, and the cleanup is far messier than anticipated.

is it plausible for a 12 year old girl to plot and execute the murder of her best friend’s father? no. is that what this book is about? yes. a book about a 12 year old girl who has a perfectly healthy relationship with her best friend and who has no feelings toward her bff’s father one way or another is probably far more “realistic,” but that’s not the book i’d want to read and certainly not the one i want to write. my goal of a heightened reality is what henry james calls the intensity of illusion, the thing that allows a reader, through the witness of one’s distilled cognition into language, to exit physical, knowable reality, and enter a new and unknown reality. and isn’t climbing to that higher place, that intensity of illusion, the purpose of fiction? if it’s not, what is?

the best feedback i got on the aforementioned murder scene was from one of my professors, who, of the perfect calm of all children involved, said, “they just shot a guy. at least one of them would be freaking out.”

he was totally right, but it opened up a lot of questions for me. by what standard did he reach that conclusion? was it something in the chapter itself, was it his personal understanding of the work of narrative, or was it the logical conclusion of the slim plausibility of the scenario? moreover, where did i come up with the idea that all of my preteen characters would commit a murder and proceed to be very chill about it? if an implausible scenario begs the expectation of emotional distress, would it be more compelling to buy into that expectation or deviate from it? is it even my obligation to be compelling when i can never have a cogent grasp of the personal tastes of my audience?

that brings me to what appears to be reality’s opposite: idealism, the state those of us who write fanfic are often trying to achieve. we’re working in an entire genre of ideals, of happily ever afters, of hurt that is always followed by comfort, of glossily rendered sex during which everyone orgasms and no one has to pee afterward. we fix broken texts and continue incomplete ones. sometimes, we want to make existing things better, deeper, more complicated. but all the time, we want to make a text more than what it is.

some see this process, this drive for the ideal, as antithetical to realism, and i think that’s part of the reason fanfiction and other idealistic genres (romance, etc.) get a bad name — the assumption that more real (which for some means more miserable) is better, and therefore its opposite, the ideal, is worse. for them, i have this quote from vladimir nabokov:

For me a work of fiction exists only insofar as it affords me what I shall bluntly call aesthetic bliss, that is a sense of being somehow, somewhere, connected with other states of being where art (curiosity, tenderness, kindness, ecstasy) is the norm.

the ideal, aesthetic bliss, the intensity of illusion. these are all phrases that boil down to the same thing: you the writer get to define the constraints of your own reality. you get to choose if your world even complies with the known laws of physics. and if it doesn’t, you get to choose which ones to break, and why to break them. you get to choose if your stories take place in a real house in a real town on a real day. if you wrote a story that takes place on september 11, 2001, would the events of that story be shaped by the events of that actual day, or are you writing a better world where 9/11 doesn’t happen? consider the consequences of both: why might you want to write reality? why might you want to write ideality? how do these things shape your identity and goals as a writer?

no matter where a work falls on the real-ideal spectrum, you have to accept that prose itself will only ever be a verisimilitude of reality and therefore an interpretation of it, one that might be interpreted differently by a reader. in writing and everything else, you can never have complete control over what others perceive. it’s like giving someone cash as a gift. they might buy themselves something nice with it, or they might spend it on groceries. the point is, eventually we all have to let go of our realities.

#lkwrnl #pinned

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bettsfic · 9 months ago

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Face reveal reaction from the most recent newsletter--

First of all, the headshots are great! I hope they help resolve some of that existential crisis.

For some reason I didn't expect your blond hair, I think I was expecting dark hair to march some of the darker themes you've covered in your writing?

one of the great conflicts of my life is that i was gifted with the looks and peppy disposition of a kindergarten teacher, but have the personality of a grizzled veteran telling war stories at a 24-hour diner.

my natural hair color is, as my father used to call it, "dirty dishwater blonde," and i've spent the last few years with mere highlights. but i finally took the full barbie plunge again, thank god. i can only recognize myself in a mirror if my hair is blindingly bright.

#out of all the difficult things i've ever had to accept about myself #realizing that i'm happiest with platinum blonde hair is pretty high up on the list #purple shampoo until i die i guess #lkwrnl

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bettsfic · 11 months ago

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a (relatively) short newsletter this month, even though it is 3 months late.

#lkwrnl

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bettsfic · 1 year ago

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i have acquired a bluesky account! thanks to everyone who sent invite codes to me.

i also apparently made a cohost a long time ago that i forgot about.

very happy to be able to nab my username.

i don't think anything noticeable will happen to this website any time soon, but since the discussion of beginning palliative care for tumblr has begun, the best way to follow me into the beyond is subscribing to my substack. i also have a personal instagram but i don't use it much.

once i get an invite code to bluesky i'll check that out, and i was considering starting a youtube channel and/or relaunching my patreon. i started a dreamwidth in 2017 and didn't really get the hang of it but i'd be willing to move over there if that's where fandom-at-large ends up. i'll also make sure all my writing advice asks are saved and made public somewhere.

i'll be honest, i hate the content creator hustle. tumblr has been the one place i still feel like i can be part of a community without turning myself into a commodity or developing a persona. i really hope that either tumblr pulls through or we find another tumblr-like platform which can be a haven from algorithms and traffic chasing.

#lkwrnl

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bettsfic · 1 year ago

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A few years ago—god, i must have still been in college. 2018? 19? You made a master post of all your fic up until then. Would you be able to make another post, with all your fic from 2019ish-now?

sure! i've been wanting to do this for a while but the question becomes - how to organize? i write in too many different fandoms to do it by canon. so we're just gonna go by the myriad ways my id is on full display.

i skipped a few fics that i didn't like so it's not *everything*. also many of these are locked down so you have to log into ao3 to see them.

masterpost of my fics, 2019 - 2023

key:

personal favorite

you don't really need to know the canon going in

VERY NSFW

diet cottagecore

there's a house. somebody is sad. chores.

rest in grace - violet evergarden, violet/gilbert, canon divergence - 20k, complete

float - breaking bad, jesse/OMC, post-canon - 19k, complete

good bones - star wars sequels, reylo, modern au - 12k, wip

stray - genshin impact, razor/lumine, canon divergence - 6k, complete

"i don't remember you" to "let's pretend to be in a relationship" to "oh you've been in love with me your entire life?"

fake dating via trauma-induced amnesia and chronic illness

a standing engagement - the hunger games, odesta, canon divergence - 57k, complete

wind of the new world - the hunger games, odesta, sequel to ASE - 10k, complete

digging for orchids - tgcf, hualian, modern au - 43k, complete

a brat and the guardian she desperately wants to fuck

and the guardian who is trying desperately not to give in

huaycan - the gray man, six/claire, post-canon - 16k, complete

in water falling - the clone wars, rexsoka, dystopia au - 14k, complete

a long way - game of thrones, jaime/myrcella, canon divergence - 18k, complete

so obsessively in love that their life is upended and their identity irrevocably changed

romance with repercussions & codependency ever after

free ride - tbosas, snowbaird, modern au - 24k, wip

patronage - painter of the night, nakyum/seungho, modern au - 11k, complete

lemon - star wars prequels, anidala, modern au - 73k, complete

organic chemistry - the clone wars, rexsoka, modern au - 57k, wip

"i will kill for you" (literal)

murder as a love language

acquittal - tgcf, hualian, modern au - 10k, complete

the bluff - barry (hbo), sally/barry, canon divergence - 9k, complete

if i had a nickel for every fic i've written where an unstable marriage is saved by an adrift third burdened by the guilt of their society-ruining decisions

i'd have two nickels, but it's weird it happened twice

before the suns rise - star wars prequels, obianidala, canon divergence - 30k, wip

renovations - frozen, anna/elsa/kristoff, modern au (no incest) - 47k, complete

"whoops, i was trying to kill you but i fell in love with you instead"

villainfucker city rise up

the truth of time - rurouni kenshin, e/k, canon (live action) - 6k, complete

penitence - star wars sequels, reylo, canon divergence - 17k, complete

porn, but also healing from atrocity

honestly every fic i write could fall under this category

reclaimed - star wars sequels, reylo, omegaverse - 14k, complete

light - saezuru, yashiro/doumeki, canon divergence - 30k, complete

sick part of a sick thing - stranger things, hellcheer, no upside down au - 45k, complete

let ruin end here - tgcf, hualian, modern au - 8k, complete

the art of scraping through - the 100, bellarke, modern au - 18k, complete

porn, but also righting the wrongs of decades past

boys with big regrets and even bigger—

dirtbag - stranger things, hellcheer, no upside down au - 60k, complete

moderation - the 100, bellarke, modern au - 40k, complete

always be closing - mdzs, wangxian, modern au - 32k, complete

femdom tsundere (ft. pegging)

grouchy women and the submissive men who adore them

black-eyed - mdzs, chengqing, modern au - 16k, complete

not if, when - original fiction - 12k, complete (the pegging is there in spirit)

ghost in the pearl - westworld, dolores/caleb, canon divergence - 7k, complete

the innate comedy of abject pining

"i'm so in love with you it's killing me lmao"

no certainty of doors between us - mdzs, wangxian, modern au - 6k, complete

the beach episode - tgcf, hualian, modern au - 20k, complete

shut up and kill me - original fiction - 5k, complete (not really a romance)

if you dig my stuff and want to support me, you can

subscribe to my newsletter

buy me a coffee on ko-fi

thanks for the ask, anon! this was fun.

#my fic #masterpost #lkwrnl

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