#my god i have been spending so much time on the toilet it's honestly exhausting

[frankensteinmutual]

digestion related tmi ic

[articulatedbyleilani]

The start of self improvement.

By now you know the triggers and the disappointment.

For exactly a year and a half, the focus was me. I was so selfish about myself, my time and the attention I paid others. Dating was not in my vocabulary because I was exhausted and the thought of finding “the one” was almost non-existent. Having sex was not of interest because I knew I wasn’t ready to allow anyone in, but I also refused to have sex with somebody I wasn’t dating. I refused to be treated a like toilet and a man taking a piss - they take a piss into the pot, zip up and leave. I’m worth more than that. Spending time with my family wasn’t an option - I was so fragile I couldn’t be around anybody who asked too many questions, anybody judgmental, anybody who was going to compare me to somebody doing better than me or anybody who was going to make me feel bad about myself. I rarely saw friends because during this self improvement journey, I learned that I would only be a product of my own environment. Honestly saying, I disassociated myself from them because they did not inspire me, I couldn’t look up to them, I couldn’t rely on them but most importantly, their priorities were all twisted. For exactly a year and a half it was me and my dog, and that was enough for me after years of pain, trauma and constant self doubt.

Nobody really talks about the challenges that come with self improvement. I had to do what was hard. Very hard. I had to constantly talk to myself and ask myself is there anything I need to be better at, and it was EVERYTHING.

I needed to stop putting other peoples wants and needs before my own wants and needs, my own mental health and my own emotional health.

I needed to stop allowing people to take advantage of me, use me then dispose of me, I needed to stop letting people take advantage of me. I needed to stop the minute I knew it was exactly that, but I didn't.

I needed to stop having such a forgiving, understanding and accepting soul. It was uncontrollable. This is what caused a repetitive cycle of the same episode, with different plot twist and new characters.

I needed to stop allowing my pain be the reason I neglected my health. I wouldn't eat or would eat non-stop. I would drink endless amounts of alcohol. I would smoke 5-7 blunts a day. I would sleep for hours and hours and allow the mess in my home, my car and my mind to accumulate.

I needed to stop allowing people and their wrong doings to me bring the worse out of me. I needed to stop allowing those feelings be stronger than the characteristics gods blessed me with - ambitious, motivated, a continuous goal setter, a get it done girl, a dedicated yet committed girl, a nobody s going to stop me girl, an in control of my life girl, a hard working girl, etc.

I needed to stop allowing myself to get mixed up in a circle of people who's lifestyle didn't align with mine just because it "numbed" everything.

I needed to learn how to control my anger during times the devil was pulling it out of me - despite why or who was bringing it out, I realized it was a side that shouldn't have been opened up and it was in my power to just walk away and never did.

I needed to stop making excuses and giving people the benefit of the doubt, I needed to stop making somebody sound better than they were just for parental and friend acceptance.

I needed to be honest with myself......... and so much more.

Have I fixed them? More than anybody will ever give me credit for.

Self improvement was harder than anybody could imagine, I didn’t need to brag about it, I didn’t need to show anybody I was doing it in action, I didn’t need to make anybody feel any smaller than me because I had the strength to do it and they didn’t. I didn’t have to be visually vocal with it. I was humble with it, discrete with it and grateful for gods hand in it. It was the beginning of the relationship I built with god, the understanding of god and that’s all I ever needed.

[keilemlucent]

(nsfw) ✧ (dark content warnings) ✧  (minors do not interact) 

hawks | takami keigo x reader

wc: 1.7k

warnings: abuse, noncon/dubcon, yandere, vomit due to illness, delusion, reader is definitely not mentally well, brief description of injury, hawks is Not nice in this, reader has difficulty eating, 

a/n: uhhh it’s 2am, time to post dark drabble lol!! i love like.... deep yandere stuff. when darling’s already been In It for awhile and worn down. mwah. chefs. kiss. anyways, here’s my take!

You want to know what rain tastes like.

Is it different than water from the tap? You had asked him one day. He chuckled but didn’t give you an answer. Just an easy deflection, something unrelated to pull your mind from the outside. 

It is easier this way. 

It’s so much easier to draw the curtains in the morning. Damn the sun, damn the light— You can take vitamin D supplements and pretend you don’t mind how dark the apartment is no matter the time of day.

It’s easier to ignore the multiple locks (seven. you count them sometimes to pass the time) that are bolted into the door. The time it takes him to open them with all their tumbling gears and thundering clicks is the preamble to his comings and goings.

You know to rise from your damn-near sacred spot on the couch to greet him. You go to him with a kiss on his cheek, and to give him hug so hard, it hurts. You can’t tell if it’s from the strain of your arms around his, or the pressure of his embrace around you. You don’t particularly mind either way. It’s the reminder you need that as empty and dark as the apartment is, he’ll always return.

Always.

You lock your hands behind his back, clasped below his wings. Routinely, you bury your face in his chest while he sways you. He asks about your day, but he isn’t listening. You don’t think so, but you don’t mind. Nothing you say means much, and every day is the same. You sit on the couch and stare at the floor. The walls. The ceiling if you’re feeling more adventurous.  

You stopped watching TV alone months ago. No matter what you watched on Keigo’s big, sleek television, it was just a reminder. An awful, unavoidable reminder that the world is quite large, and you weren’t apart of it.

You couldn’t be. You were locked in place— one, two, three, four, five, six, seven — in the little apartment. Wasting away, as much as you tried not to.

...

“You need to eat, baby,” Keigo coax. He holds a deep spoonful of soup to your lips. It smells divine, like chives and cream. “Just a little. For me?”

‘For me.’

Your inability to stomach anything is his problem, just as much as it is yours. That’s just a fact.

“I don’t want to get sick again,” You squeeze your hands. There is a semblance of comfort in the action as Keigo inspects you. Searching.

It isn’t a lie. Your stomach growls and rolls, and it has been all day. Keigo has started to always leave ample leftovers in the fridge in the case you’d actually want to eat them. And you do. Sometimes, you even try! Really try. But the end result is always the same. Your head ends up dangling over the bowl of your toilet while you wretch and writhe. 

Acid stings your throat for hours. 

Despite Keigo’s... previous treatment, he seems genuinely concerned about this development. You’re hardly able to keep anything down, despite being well otherwise.

(You’re so unwell and have been for so long, he can’t begin to see it. The bruises are perpetual. The scars that you didn’t have a year ago are fixtures he can’t remember you without. The constant tremble you carry is from the drafty apartment, not from the deeply instilled fear you carry. The one he had branded (literally) onto you. Into you.)

(Fucker.)

You shake the thought off and open your mouth and accept the bite. And Keigo, bless his heart, is sweet enough to not shove the spoon to the back of your throat. He lets you suck the soup from it, quietly praising your work.

You manage to eat half the bowl before shaking your head, tummy already twisting in the worst, most familiar way.

Keigo gives you pills then. Four of them, all slightly different colors and shapes. You don’t know what they do, and you knew better than to ask (you’d gotten slapped across the face the first and only time you tried.) 

The fourth pill is new, and Keigo, graciously, tells you that it’s for the nausea. That a special doctor is helping him help you. Isn’t that wonderful?

You’re so, so lucky.

 (You hurl the next morning once the meds wear off. Your hands shake and your slam your fist into your temples. Begging. You’re not sure to who. Maybe to yourself. Your body. Crying for your wretched form to just stop hurting you. If you weren’t sick, things would be better.

Maybe, you’re begging Keigo. For help. To make it stop. To take care of you and coo that things will be fine as things are so completely not find that you can’t comprehend it. But he is the one who decides when you hurt. Shouldn’t he be able to make this stop?

Maybe you’re begging him to unlatch those — one, two, three, four, five, six— seven locks so you could dash into the world. Scream at the first person you see that beloved, pro-hero Hawks is so beyond deranged and fucked up. Maybe no civilian would believe you. But you were the evidence. You bore the slashes of his feathers. The perpetual imprint of his fingers on hips and thighs. You even had a brand on the bottom of your foot. K-E-I-G-O.

Maybe, you’re begging to whatever god you once believed in to kill you. You don’t care about the means. Be it your hand, or Keigo’s, or random chance.)

 You spew into the murky water and try to forget.

...

Keigo’s special doctor comes by. You see the two exchange hands by the door when she first arrives. A flash of bills and coins. Paid off, part of you perks up. The doctor won’t talk about Hawks’ little captive. You’re sure it’s a handsome amount, based on the neutrality of her expression as she takes you in.

To care so little about something like you is hardly a surprise.

She examines you, collects some blood and other samples. Prescribes a few more medicines that have long and complicated names that are hard to pronounce. You try to forget them. You’re happy to be quiet. Sit next to Keigo while he wraps a wing around you and rubs your back in little circles. He’s warm and good, unlike the rot in your stomach.

 Keigo praises you once she leaves, wrapping you up in him, scarlet feathers and all. Kisses your cheeks, telling you how well you did. How you didn’t falter, didn’t scream, didn’t let her touch you too much. How you were so perfect for him. You deserve a reward! 

He treats you to fresh sheets and more kisses. The kind that feels like how lovers are supposed to kiss. There isn’t too much teeth or tongue, just slow, open-mouthed pressing that makes your tummy flutter in a good way (for once.)

“Isn’t this nice?” Keigo hums against your lips. 

You nod, barely eager but not apprehensive either. Treading lightly on a carefully, self-cultivated path between wanting and revulsion. As good as it feels, you don’t want to give him. You don’t remember how.

His lips trail to your neck, to your collarbones. He pushes up your shirt and only leaves little pecks over your nipples and chest. No wounds that draw blood. No hickeys that last weeks. 

You don’t realize you start trembling until Keigo has to grip your inner thighs to still you. So, he can coo blessed, little reminders.

“This feels good, doesn’t it?”

“I always make you feel so good.”

“You deserve this, all of this,” he says before pressing his lips to your clit. You’re just wet enough for him to fuck you on his fingers. Enough that when he bullies the bundle of nerves inside you, you coat his fingers in slick and whine. Your voice breaks, over and over, and little, unwanted tears leak into your hairline.

Keigo ignores them as usual. You can be so dramatic.

And Keigo, ever gracious, let’s you shatter on his fingers. Doesn’t make you beg, just whispered hushed adorations as you come undone on his tongue. He hardly toys with you after, and instead lets you fall into the sheets. Properly spend, though not exhausted.

You still shake, but that’s okay. It’s manageable.

Keigo cleans you up with a silken cloth. He wipes between the swell of your breasts, down your navel and to your cunt. His feathers ruffle as he does his work, clearly focused. There’s no speaking during it, only watching and observing.

“Thank you.” You speak without prompting. 

Your words are dry and underused. Your lips feel chapped, and your vision is hazy in the dark of the bedroom. 

Keigo gives you a smile (full of white-hot pride), clicking his tongue, “Of course, dovey. You deserve to feel good for me. I want you to. I like you like this.”

(He carries that same sentiment that no matter your ‘post-fuck’ state. Whether you’re twitching and dumb from overstimulation. Whether you’re bawling from pain and holding your hand over a too deep, ‘accidental’ wound. Whether your expression is blank, lips ajar, and face tilted to the ceiling.)

You can only agree with him.

What other option do you have?

...

(The doctor calls the following week. Keigo speaks to her in hushed tones from his office, muffled and stern. You only catch pieces of it.

“They do not appear to be suffering from anything specific illness.” The doctor pauses. “The weakness, fatigue, shakiness, forgetfulness, and nausea all seem to be tied back to prolonged anxiety. Constant surges of adrenaline that have pushed them to this point.”

Keigo doesn’t bother asking the source.

He knows it.

(And honestly? He seems a little proud.)

 You return to settle on the couch. Ever practiced, you turn towards the door and find the locks.

One, two, three four—

That four one wouldn’t be too hard to pick, would it?

(You’d already tried months ago. It was just a chain lock, but Keigo had nearly snapped your wrist when he caught you trying to tamper with it.)

Five, six, seven—

Your stomach rolls and your hug your knees, still managing a smile when Keigo rejoins you. His wings flex, and he flashes you a golden smile. His phone is locked and in his hand, and you know he’ll ignore it for the night. He’ll wrap you in his arms and smother you with his wings.

It’s better this way, you remind yourself, turning from the locks.

[hwascripts]

What Izuku would be like in a relationship: The positive traits, the toxic traits, his love language, my own personal headcanons and an overall conclusion

WC: unknown

TW// POTENTIAL SPOILERS, No smut but Izuku is aged up, Toxic traits aren’t necessarily toxic...more so just bad traits, Teeny tiny little bit of angst, I think that’s it!

Masterlist

Disclaimer: I am in no way claiming the following headcanons are true. You are 100% free to disagree with me but please DO NOT send me hateful comments or asks. I am simply writing what I think Deku would be like in a relationship

a/n: Just to let you know, your nickname for him is Zuku just so you don’t think I kept spelling his name wrong.

-Deku is literally the kindest soul ever and it makes me want to cry. He’d give you his umbrella if you ever forgot yours, he’d literally carry you to first aid if you ever injure yourself- this man will legitimately do everything for you

-He’s incredibly observant. If he catches you looking at a pretty ring then he’ll literally show up at your door days later with that very same ring in his hands

“I saw you looking at it a few days ago and I wanted to surprise you!”

“Zuku baby oh my god how much did you spend?!”

“You don’t need to worry about it sunshine”

I wholeheartedly believe Izuku would call you his sunshine or something along those lines

-I have this one headcanon of him drawing you all the time as an excuse to “observe you and your quirk” but it’s really just because he wants to admire the way you shine underneath the sun- and that’s how he came up with the name Sunshine for you

-Deku has a heart of gold oh my god, this guy cares so much about you it’s unreal. Imagine trying to hide the fact that you’ve been crying while on a phone call- mission failed because he heard your shaky voice and now he’s on your doorstep with your favourite hoodie of his and your favourite snacks

-His memory is insanely good, like it’s freaky how good it is. Like you mentioned to him ONCE that you liked a certain drink and now he pulls up to your dates with that drink all the time (not like I’d complain if Deku brought me my favourite drink)

-Just like Bakugou, Deku is incredibly smart and he literally always comes up with a solution. You could literally vent to him about a problem you’re having at work and he’s come up with at least 73 solutions within 6 hours

-He’s determined and hardworking. Again, he’s just like Bakugou in the sense that he’ll put his blood, sweat and tears into whatever he’s doing- no matter if it’s a serious high stake mission or something like planning your weekly date. The second he puts his mind to something, he makes sure to give it his all.

-Izuku is your own personal cheerleader, this dude will hype you up no matter what. Training after work? he’s cheering for you. You completed a really difficult task? you better believe he’s gonna pat you on the back for it.

-He’s very protective of you. Remember when the LOV attacked the training camp and he rushed to find Kota? yeah he’s 10x more protective of you.

-And it’s not because he thinks you’re weak and can’t defend yourself, it’s because he genuinely worries about you all the time and just wants to make sure your always safe

-He’s an inspirational person, he makes you hella motivated to do even the most boring chores around the house

-Deku isn’t afraid to show his emotions. Unlike Bakugou, he’s often seen showing his emotions. Deku said “toxic masculinity who?”. He definitely gives 0 fucks if someone sees him crying/upset because I feel like Pro-Hero Deku would stop the stupid mindset of “Hero’s can’t show their genuine emotions”

-Izuku is the type of person to analyze all his losses, figure out what he did wrong and then learn from it to make sure he doesn’t make the same mistake again. He’s the complete opposite of Bakugou who gets bitter over his losses due to his superiority complex.

-He’s so good at comforting you that it’s unbelievable. Deku gives the warmest hugs that make you feel so safe- you literally cannot change my mind about this

-You know those hugs where the other person lightly rubs your back and lightly sways side to side with you? Yeah those are the hugs that Deku gives (he’d definitely give you a sweet little kiss on the forehead/cheek)

“Sunshine come here, let me hold you while you let out all your frustrations. I’ve got you, nothing can hurt you while you’re here with me”

-Can you tell I want some comforting Izuku hugs? He wouldn’t let go of you until he put a smile back on your face and GAHH oh my god I need Izuku hugs

-As much as I hate to do this, it needs to be done 😔✊🏻

-Izuku is such an over thinker, this guy worries about EVERYTHING under the sun. Your eyes didnt crinkle when you smiled? he’ll think you’re upset with him. You gave him a side hug rather than a normal hug? he’ll think he did something wrong.

-He’s self aware that he overthinks things but he just can’t seem to stop his thoughts. No matter how many times you reassure him that you aren’t upset with him, he’s subconsciously thinking about how to make it up to you

-He constantly pushes himself past his limits. You guys saw how many times he’s broken his bones. Deku may be intelligent but when it comes to his own self he can be completely hopeless

-The amount of times you’ve scolded him while you clean up his scrapes and cuts is insane. He just sits on the toilet lid and bites his lip nervously while you wave your finger angrily at him

“Sunshine please, I said I was sorry and that it won’t happen again!”

“Zuku you and I both know that’s a damn lie, I’ve had to patch you up 3 times this week! When are you going to start being more considerate of your limits?”

-I’m sorry but I picture him being so nervous to initiate anything with you. This guy would be so fidgety just by THINKING about holding your hand

-And deep down he knows he’s being ridiculous because come on, you’re his S/O and he’s been dating you for years now- why does he still get shaken up just by holding your hand?

-At first you think it’s cute, he’s just being respectful of your boundaries- but as time goes on you kind of get a little annoyed because he always asks you a bunch of times if you’re okay with him being affectionate.

“Zuku...sweetheart you know you don’t need to ask me a million times if I want to cuddle, right? I love cuddling with you!”

*cue sweating* “I’ll keep that in mind, Sunshine”

-He eventually gets a lot more comfortable with affection...more often than not you wake up with him nuzzled into your side like a cat

(Side note PLEASE wake him up with a bunch of kisses, he’ll literally melt)

-He’s very insecure about his scars because they make him feel like he’s “ugly” and sometimes he doesn’t even want you to look at them

-Do me a favour and please kiss along his scars/ trace them with your fingers while you compliment him- he’ll start crying because the scars he thought made him ugly are now starting to look beautiful to him

-This isn’t necessarily a toxic trait, more like a bad habit. Whenever Izuku gets stressed he’ll train himself to the brink of exhaustion just so he can try to focus on something other than how stressed he is

-Again, not a toxic trait but a bad one...Deku puts everyone else before himself. Which isn’t a bad thing if it’s done in a healthy amount, but Izuku goes to the extreme. I feel like he’d neglect his own needs just to satisfy everyone else and you’d have to intervene before it gets worse

“Sunshine I said I was fine, you don’t need to worry about me! Your Zuku is perfectly energized and ready to go”

“Zuku don’t lie to me, you know I can read you like a book. You’re coming with me and I’m putting you to bed”

-I hate to say it but this guy hates confrontation so much that sometimes he’ll suffer in silence for MONTHS before he even hints at being upset with something

-I honestly think your biggest argument with him would be about his lack of communication in terms of him not being completely honest about how he feels and he just breaks down-

-Like he has a really bad breakdown because he’s been bottling everything up for so long because he hates the idea of fighting with you.

-And now he’s sobbing because he’s so frustrated that he doesn’t know what else to do

-Anyways, the two of you just silently comfort each other until you’ve both calmed down enough to talk properly. This is the night Izuku finally starts opening up to you rather than bottling up every negative emotion he feels

-I honestly think his love language is a mixture of giving you gifts and words of praise

-He’s a little shy when it comes to showing you how he feels through affection, so giving you gifts and his praise get his point across

-He’s totally the type to send you cute messages throughout the day, send cute selfies when he misses you, or he just sends you a random bouquet of flowers because he saw them and thought of you

-Also the type of guy to have photos of the two of you displayed around his office. His most prized one being the photo of your first mission together

-Just warning you now that if you ever mention that your suit ripped or a certain item isn’t functioning properly then he’ll literally buy 10 replacements- each one better than the last

“Zuku I said that the sole of my BOOT ripped off, not my entire suit!”

“Well now you have 10 new upgraded suits to make sure it won’t happen again! Isn’t it great, Sunshine?”

(Someone take his credit card away from him)

I definitely think Izuku would be an amazing S/O! He’s caring, kind and comforting- and he does his very best to try and work on the bad habits he has.

Overall, I would say Izuku definitely would win a “S/O of the year award” (sorry Bakugou)

[wasabito]

had so much fun writing for my baby boy tendou, so here’s my entry for the hqhq sfw server collab! be sure to check out the rest on the masterlist found here! enjoy ✨

words: 3.0k

prompt: “you woke me up at 3am for this?”

synopsis: your neighbor is ridiculous, kind of annoying and little bit on the weird side, but you wouldn’t have him any other way.

You had to be the biggest idiot on the planet—an obvious exaggeration, yes, but you were still inclined to believe it was true. 

How else could you explain the feeling of being so utterly fed up with one’s actions like this? Were there enough words in the dictionary to describe just how exhausted you were by your own antics, more specifically, your forgetfulness since that’s what had landed you in a world of pain and embarrassment?

The answer was no.

You sat with your back pressed against your front door, head in your hands and chin tucked between your raised knees and chest. At your side was your wallet along with stacks of newspapers, coupons and whatever else had been stuffed in your mailbox, bills probably. Advertisements too. Honestly, it was hard to be happy about a new restaurant opening up down the block when you were currently stuck—locked out of your apartment to be precise.

The landlord of your cheap little complex wasn’t expected to be back for another hour according to the sign posted outside of his office. So until then, you’d remain posted up by your doorstep like some loiterer. 

You shifted in place and blew a puff of air from your lips, feeling little pinpricks in your legs. For the fifth time in the last forty-five minutes you felt like kicking yourself, hard.

The sun hung low, nearly touching the distant horizon signifying the end of another day. Even the sky was painted a warm umber, casting dim shadows.

“Locked out, huh?” came a snide, but accented voice.

It took you way longer than necessary to realize that suddenly you weren’t the only person on this floor. God, where was your head at?

A pair of forest green crocs stood before you, complete with a few odd charms and trinkets. A cartoon volleyball, pinned next to a smiley face, a donut and a gaudy “i heart paris” chain dangling from the ankle strap. A person’s shoes could say a lot about who they were...your mother thought so, at least.

Resisting the urge to projectile vomit all over this stranger’s rather questionable taste in footwear, your wary gaze panned upward, glossing over white tube socks and a pair of the longest legs you’ve ever seen on a person—yet another exaggeration. You came face to face with a crooked smile. Curious ruby eyes returned your stare with almost the same amount of scrutiny.

Who the hell was this guy?

Mystery-man easily towered over you, and not only because you were hunched over and sitting. He was tall as hell, all lanky build, gangly arms and legs disguising lithe muscle and a surprisingly sturdy frame. He looked like the i-run-every-morning type; semi-athletic at the very least. His buzzed hair was the color of cinnamon, no that wasn’t right, paprika maybe? Either way, it contrasted sharply with the paleness of his skin, so much so that you could see the faint blue of the veins in his arms.

“Yoohooo, anybody hooome?” He tilted his head at you.

“Huh? Oh uh, yeah, I’m locked out. I forgot my key inside and Mr. Laurent won’t be back until later.”

“Hmm. That sucks...”

“...Um… do I… do I know you or something? You look a little familiar.”

He pinned you with a funny look, before pulling out a set of keys from the back pocket of his shorts.

“Maybe you do, maybe you don’t~ I mean we are neighbors, after all.” Laughing as if he’d made some sort of joke, he entered his apartment with a twirl and a dramatic wave of his arms.

You stared at his door for a solid minute, only to finally succumb to your urges and facepalm at your own idiocy. Of course he looked familiar, how could he not when he literally lived four feet away.

With a sigh of resignation, you braced yourself for another hour spent sitting outside your front door. It wasn’t like there was any other place you could go or anyone you could call. The battery icon on your phone blinked red, warning that it was soon to run out of juice. Guess that meant no Among Us or Subway Surfer for you.

Five minutes later, the door next to you opened. It was Mystery-man again, but this time, he sat in front of his door, just like you were. And he did so with a bag of pretzels and a jar of nutella in hand.

“Must be bored out here by yourself.” He crunched on a pretzel before offering you the bag to take some. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep ya company.”

You weren’t sure why, but there was something about this guy that intrigued you. You half-wondered if it was the funny little curl of his smile, or the wideness of his eyes that made it seem like he was looking at all of you, all at once. 

"You must be pretty bored...uh,"

"Satori Tendou, but most people call me Tendou. Miracle boy works just fine too."

"Right... Tendou, as I was saying, you must be incredibly bored to come sit out here with me. You sure you don't have anything important to do?"

Tendou's grinned widened. "Positive! And it costs me nothing to be neighborly, so don't even sweat it."

That was...nice of him?

If sitting outside with you was the way he wanted to spend his late Tuesday afternoon who were you to deny him? And truthfully, you didn't mind the company, at least not really. Provided this guy wasn't some creepy-stalker-weirdo, you were sure there wasn't any harm in getting to know the person who lived one door over.

"So, Tendou, how long have you lived in the area? You don't really look like you're from around here...I could be wrong."

Tendou raised a thin brow at you. "Weeeell, if you're asking about how long I've lived next door, it would be about three maybe four months give or take, but if you're asking how long I've lived in Paris, it would be a year next month. Speaking of, I think Semisemi has a birthday coming up..."

You watched as he pulled out his cell phone and tapped away at the illuminated glass screen. You couldn't help but notice the goofy little anime stickers on his phone case. One in particular caught your attention.

“Is that...Kirara? From Inuyasha??”

“Oho! So, you recognize this?”

Backtracking, you mumble out, “Ah, well…only a little.” Though your face was turned away, the tiny smile on your lips was not hidden from Tendou and he thought you were pretty cute.

Funnily enough, what you had expected to be a rather unnerving and possibly creepy exchange turned out to be anything but. Tendou was incredibly fun to talk to—a bit teasing and a little overwhelming with his superfluous hand movements and gestures. But he was funny and a lot kinder that you would’ve given him credit for.

You learned that he was originally from Japan; it explained his accented French. He had come to Paris right out of high school to study culinary arts in one of the most renowned countries for it. Now he worked as a chocolatier, under the tutelage of a master patisserie in the city, an older man who was both a creative genius and a thorn in Tendou’s side. Tendou spoke of his teacher with equal parts awe and annoyance. 

And he got to know you too. How you’d found yourself in Paris, thousands of miles away from home in an effort to rediscover yourself in the city full of rich history and culture. 

You didn’t have many friends here, and it truly was a pleasure to make his acquaintance.

Soon, you both heard the telltale sound of jangling keys as your landlord rounded the corner with his clipboard in hand. Once you were able to get your door open, you waved a goodbye to Tendou.

“Thanks for keeping me company, you really didn’t have to.”

“No biggie, it was fun!” He threw a mischievous little grin and a peace-sign over his shoulder and reentered his apartment. 

You found yourself wanting to cross paths with him again, and hopefully in better circumstances. But you hadn't known your wishful thinking was soon to manifest as you ambled through grocery store aisles a week later, eyeing down any items with pictures on it.

“Why in the hell is this toilet paper so expensive.” You mumbled.

“So, you complain about the price of toilet paper, but wear sneakers that cost two-thirds our rent.” That voice sounded familiar, and after hearing it for about an hour just days ago, you were a bit surprised you could recognize it so quickly. 

Stunned, you looked up to find Satori Tendou, your quirky neighbor with an arm full of pita chips, a milk carton, and baby carrots.

“I never said I made the best choices.” You found yourself smiling despite the previous crease in your brow. “...Dude, get a cart before you drop everything.”

Instead of getting his own, he simply dumped what he had into your cart with a teasing grin. You couldn’t argue with his logic there. Tendou sidled up against you, once again towering over you with a kind of ease that should be criminal. “Need help reading something?”

You wanted to say no. You almost said no. But swallowing your pride, you gave a weak nod. “Yeah, this word right here.” Pointing to the unfamiliar script printed on the label. “What the heck is this?”

“Weeeeell, looks like that brand is scented, ya know, for when ya—”

“Don’t bother finishing that sentence...please.”

You quickly grab what you need and continue on down the aisle with Tendou following closely behind.

Just like when you’d first met him, he made conversation the entire way. By the time you both made it to the cash registers, you’d argued at least three times over french pronunciations and whether cashews were the cousin of peanuts.

And just as last time, he left you with a grin and a peace-sign while you stared after his retreating back, paid groceries in hand.

After an entire day spent baking, you found yourself on Tendou’s doorstep with a tupperware full of baked goodies later the next evening. You had been meaning to thank him for being such a good neighbor to you. It was certainly unexpected, but a welcome gesture nonetheless.

You only had to knock twice before the door was wrenched open and you were greeted with the set of...vanilla? Some pop song played in the background while your neighbor looked at you curiously.

"H-Hey Tendou, I um...I baked you these." You held out the plastic container, hoping he'd simply take it from you without question and you could return to your apartment without somehow embarrassing yourself. "There's a little bit of everything in there, oatmeal raisin, chocolate chip, macadamia nut—wait you aren't allergic to anything, right?"

"Nooope! Not a thing, thanks neighbor!"

"It was no problem, especially since you've helped me, not once but twice now."

Frowning, you couldn't help but be a little upset with yourself. You'd come to France to prove that you could, in fact, live a normal life outside of your family’s jurisdiction but day by day you were proving to need them more and more. 

It was disappointing, to say the least.

"Hmm, what’s with the constipated look on your face. Did the toilet paper not help?” Tendou tilted his head at you with a teasing grin, lips curled at the edges, taunting. You blinked up at him, surprised, and if you were honest, a little annoyed too. 

"Hah?!"

"Just thought it was worth a mention, nighty-night~!"

Tendou proceeded to shut the door on you; one hand rested on the frame and the other held on to the cookies. You quickly took a step back lest he chop your entire arm off, ready to trudge off in the direction of your own home but not before sticking your tongue out at him.

Stupid Tendou, always saying stupid shit. 

You were on the couch, half asleep when it dawned on you that it had been his own twisted, “Tendou” way of cheering you up. 

The rest of the month passed just like that. Occasionally, you would bump into Tendou at the grocery store, or the leasing office, or even the laundromat. And every single time, he’d either make you laugh until your sides hurt or annoyed enough to want to give him a friendly punch. At one point, you two had even exchanged phone numbers, because according to Tendou “it was ridiculous not to have your friends on speedial” which only led to hours spent on Facetime or playing iMessage games.

You knew exchanging numbers would come back to bite you in the ass, it was only a matter of when.

It was clear you weren’t going to any sleep tonight, that was for sure. The incessant buzzing of your cell phone every five minutes was an enemy to your circadian rhythm. You could name on one hand those in your contacts with enough sense to know that you lived in a completely different time zone from them now.

Somehow your neighbor was the very last person you suspected, but it was his contact photo that stared back at you, goofy looking grin and all. You squinted against the brightness of your screen in your otherwise dark bedroom.

you up?

come quick

gotta show ya somethin

come oooon

you're awake, i know you are

It took you less than a minute to shuffle on a pair of slippers, grab your keys (you weren't going to forget them this time) and slip out of your apartment.

You hadn't even knocked twice before the door was pulled open. Tendou looked a mess, more so than usual. Unidentified stains littered the apron looped around his thin waist, streaks of what you hoped were just flour and granulated sugar were all over his hands. You almost wanted to ask if he was baking or dealing dope.

“You woke me up at three in the morning...for this?”

“Yuuup!”

"When I said you could call me at any time, I really didn’t mean any time.” You scratch your side, a contemplative look on your face at the sight of Tendou in what you would assume to be his pajamas. An old volleyball hoodie with the words "Shirazorizawa" printed across the front, and old sweats the were so obviously cut with scissors at the knee.

Rolling your eyes, you mumbled a curt, “Alright, move aside.”

Tendou ushered you over to his kitchen where several of his cooking supplies laid on the island, along with a tray of some chocolate dessert spread.

“It’s all still in the testing phase, but I think I’m onto something here.”

He was definitely giving off “mad scientist” vibes. You tried not to snort.

Holding a small chocolate cake in his hand, he smiled, a genuine smile this time. "Open wide."

You obeyed, far too tired to argue, and let him pop the treat into your mouth. Tendou watched as you chewed, as if it were the most interesting thing ever. His wide gaze carefully took in every shift in your expression.

"So? Whaddya think?"

"I...," You chewed a bit more. "...It's delicious! Is that—"

"—Pistachio, why yes it is!" 

Tendou was practically bouncing on his feet with excitement. "It takes the entire thing to a whole new level."

You had to agree with him there. This was probably the best chocolate madeleine you'd ever tasted. "Great work, miracle boy. Will you be introducing this new recipe to Claude?"

Mentioning his teacher seemed to sober him up a bit. "Ehh, maybe? The old man's a bit of traditionalist, so I'll just have to figure out a way to get him to approve."

"Maybe try calling him at three in the morning?" 

Tendou stuck his tongue out at you before popping a dessert in his mouth. The pure delight on his face was so contagious, you found yourself smiling just the same. You couldn’t help but admire his passion.

“Hey, Tendou… do you like your job?”

He blinked at you, chewing coming to a slow halt. “Well of course! The pay isn’t the best just yet, but it’s a labor of love. I’m willing to put my all into it at least.”

“Huh… that’s pretty cool.” You wiped your fingers on a nearby rag. “I hope to feel the same one day… if I can figure out what I wanna do.”

“Why not bake? You’re pretty good at it.”

“Oh am I? Last week you said my baking needed some work.”

“Well, duh, but my standards when it comes to confectionaries are impossibly high. Even so, I think you’d be successful as a baker. What’s stopping you from pursuing your labor of love?”

And that was the thing with Tendou. He talked a lot, teased even more, but it was never idle ramblings. Somehow, he always seemed to hit right at the heart of the issue with almost painfully uncomfortable accuracy.

“I don’t really know so…” You looked away, trailing off.

“Either way,” he said and placed a finger under your chin, raising your head until you were looking him in the eye. “I’m rooting for you.”

For a moment, you simply stared, awestruck. It was the first time in a long while someone was actually putting their faith in you, believing in you. He had come blazing into your life unabashed with his easy grins and gaze alight with mischief. His encouraging words, sincerity, sensitivity. Tendou was really incredible.

“Tendou…” You took his hand in yours, squeezing it. “Thanks. For everything.”

“Of course, what are neighbors for.”

BONUS:

Three months later you sat curled up next to Tendou on his sofa, his entire apartment smelled of chocolate cocoa with hints of cinnamon.

Before you was an application. Culinary school.

“You really think I can do this?”

Tendou placed his head on your shoulder with a tiny smirk. “One hundred and twenty percent!”

You pondered for a moment, then decided that if he thought you were up for the challenge then you’d believe him.

“For the record, you probably aren’t supposed to recommend your girlfriend for an interview. You know, conflict of interest and all.”

Tendou laughed and pulled you closer. “Trust me, we’ll be fine, so don’t worry your pretty little head, ‘kay?”

[poundstonaira]

Fuegoleon x Reader - The Future and Beyond

i wrote this back in 2019 so expect this to be cringe. dont say i didnt warn you.

S/N- Squad Name L/N- Last Name F/N- First Name E/C- Eye Color word count: 1700+

*Y/N’s P.O.V*

This is the third time today. This is the third time I’m at the toilet, throwing up all my food. 

Why?

Was it food poisoning? Did I drink alcohol? What it alcohol poisoning? I couldn’t because I don’t drink alcohol at all, as the head of House (L/N) and the Wife of Fuegoleon Vermillion, I can’t let myself loose. I’ve never tasted it. Ever.

After I finish throwing up, the taste of acid and the feeling of lumpy food lingers in my mouth. I brush my teeth for the fourth time today. When I finish, I feel like the bathroom is spinning.

Yeah… something is wrong with me, I’ll have to ask Mimosa or someone with healing magic  when I have time.

-Timeskip

Luckily, I was able to spot Mimosa here in the hallways of the base, I wonder what she's doing here today.

“Hello, Mimosa. How are you today?” I give her my usual nonchalant, calm face.

She flashes me her usual innocent smile. “I’m fine, and you?”

Okay, this is the time to tell her how your feeling...this might be your only chance.

“So, Mimosa, I haven’t been feeling well recently, “ I start, as she looks at me with curiosity as I’m starting to feel dizzy again, “I keep on throwing up...I feel very dizzy, I’m always getting sleepy, my breasts are feeling more tender and bigg-”

“Your breasts were getting bigger? Weren’t they always big?” 

THIS AIRHEADED LITTLE DOOFUS! YOU CAN’T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAYS! AND HAS SHE SEEN HERSELF? SHE HAS MELLONS ON HER CHEST.

UGH. 

From her comment about my chest, I feel a tick-mark summoning from my temple, hoping that I can control myself from these mood swings I’ve been getting, I try not to raise my voice so that I don’t get a headache.

“Shh! You know the Crimson Lions are filled with the majority of men! You don’t know if there are perverted men here, Mimosa!” I quickly whisper to her so that no one heard that.

“Ohh! Sorry, I was just pointing that out.” 

Yeah. In the middle of the hallways. That definitely makes sense.

“Anyways, may you please come to my room? I need you to see what’s wrong with me private.” I sigh.

“Sure. I’m always here to help!” She flashes me her normal smile before walking we both walk into my shared bedroom.

Timeskip

We are currently at my desk in my bedroom so that Mimosa can see what the issue is. All I hope is that Fuegoleon comes in here and see her checking on my breast to which she is now squeezing. I’m not even sure what is more painful right now, this headache which is now killing me or Mimosa’s hands squeezing the living shit out of my breasts.

Why can’t she just a spell? Is this what her family taught her? This is brutal as shit! I feel like my breasts are getting ripped apart!

Mimosa uses one of her support spells to see if I have any sickness. I keep looking up at her facial expression to see if there is anything wrong or strange. After a few minutes, I see her facial expression change from focussed to shocked.

“Mrs. Y/N, have you had...sex recently?” She whispered as she looked to the door to see if anyone is coming in and then at me again.

Did I have sex recently? Last time I had sex with Fuego was...maybe four weeks ago? Don’t remember to be honest. 

Wait.

Ohhh SHIITITITTITI!

“Umm...about three weeks ago. Why?” I tilt my head nervously.

She closes her grimoire as she stands up and sighs happily.

“Congratulations.” She replied with a graceful smile on her face.

“You’re going to become a mother.” 

-Another timeskip!

“You’re going to become a mother.” “You’re going to become a mother.” “You’re going to become a mother.”

That same sentence that Mimosa said before finally walking off to do her errands really...shock me but at the same time I’m...terrified. I don’t know anything about being a parent, especially since being royalty, everything matters and once the families find out, they are going to be looking at me. Yes. Me. The oldest sibling of house (L/N) and the Captain of (S/N). So here I am, at 8:30 at night, sitting on the edge of my shared bed, literally shaking, holding my head so I can prevent myself from losing my mind even more, and most importantly, trying to figure out how the hell am I going to tell Fuegoleon.

I wonder what I’m going to do. I’m paranoid because how I am I going to run my squad? I know I have siblings who are very responsible and that take my place but, how would that affect everyone? Is everyone going to be ashamed of me? Am I going to punished by mother and father? Will...Fuegoleon be mad at me? Will he divorce me? Will everyone lose my trust? Will everyone...abandon me?

All of this is really stressful. I’ve never taken care of a child before. I don’t know what I’m going to do, and I’m not sure if my servants can help me. 

But didn’t Fuegoleon want a child? Didn’t he say that it would be good to start a family for the future and beyond? This is too much for me...

To get all of this out of my mind, I decided to take a nap, hoping that I can wake up from this nightmare of anxiety.

Another timeskip!

“Y/N…” I hear a familiar voice call out to me.

Is that Fuegy?

“Hmm?”

“Wake up, it’s Fuegoleon.”

No. Not now. Please. He is the last person I want to see, God please don’t do this to me.

“Who?” I managed to groan.

“It’s Fuegoleon, my love. Remember me? I’m your husband.” He chuckles as he runs his fingers through my silky, smooth, (H/C) hair.

Kill me.

“Ohh…” I yawn, sitting myself up.

“Are you okay? You didn’t show up at (S/N) headquarters, did something happen?” He asks me as crawls into bed, and reading his book. At that, I sigh.

This is going to be hard. I’m not really good at explaining things because I really don’t talk a lot; Especially in a new situation like this, I haven’t really explained any of my issues to anyone because of how quiet I am and, usually the problems I have are minor.  But, I’m pregnant this time, and I have to remember, this is my husband, this is the love of my life, my best friend. I can tell him anything...right?

“So...Fuego?” I heaved a sigh.

“Yes, my love?” He focuses on his book, flipping the page.

“Do you remember when I said that I haven’t been feeling well for the past couple of weeks?” I managed to breathe out.

“Mmhmmm.” He hums, still focusing on his book.

“Well...”I breath out nervously.

I have never been so nervously in my life. Why am I so scared to tell him that I’m pregnant? Shouldn’t I be an optimist about this?

“I…” I start again, it seems like he sees the fear in my eyes and the trouble in my voice.

“What’s wrong, my love? Did something happen?” I hear the concern in his voice he stops from reading his book and turns to put his hand on my shoulder.

“I...met up with Mimosa today to see what’s wrong with me...she t-told me...I’m...pregnant…” I manage to breathe out on the last word.

I did it. I did it. I did it. Holy shit I’m scared. Please don’t be mad at me Fuegy!!!! 

He silently stares at me for a moment in shock. His beautiful plum eyes staring into my soft E/C eyes.

“Thank goodness!” He pulls me into a loving hug, literally giving me no space to breathe because of the space between my face and his muscular chest.

“Wait..you’re not angry!?” I manage to ask in his chest.

“Why would I be? It was me who said that we should have children and...I kind of took advantage of you that night by accident, I honestly didn’t regret at all actually, “He chuckles as bit, “I was hoping for the twenty-three years that I’ve known you, I could have children with you, spend my life with you, come to you when something is wrong, make love with you, and have a family with you. I love you that much, Y/N.” He sniffles as he puts his head on my head.

Honestly…I’m at a loss for words.

From the way he has been acting, I thought he was going to be mad at me, he has been acting so hostile. Ever since we got married, he would come back from his mission, he’d look so exhausted, and he wouldn’t speak to me, I would ask him how his day was, it would be the usual: “Fine, just tired.” But now, since he divulged his feelings since he found out I’m pregnant, I have found out that he really cared for the whole time, he just didn’t know how to say it.

I nudge him, getting him to release me from his tightass hug. I jump on to him as I look at his vibrant, plum eyes one more time before smashing my lips onto his, his callous hands move down my back as mine just stay at both sides of his head as we still give in to the passionate kiss, our tongues still fighting for dominance.

Maybe sometimes I shouldn’t keep things to myself, maybe I should be more confident about the future and beyond.

We pull apart with a string of saliva as we pant for our breaths back.

“I love you, Y/N.” Fuegoleon says he pulls me in for another hug.

“I love you too, Fuegoleon, and from now on, I’m going to be more confident for the future and beyond.

[serendipitywrites]

Unrequited?

childhood friends with benefits or perhaps more?

words 2,008 smut, slight angst so far 🔞 (hope you enjoy! this is my first time uploading smut.)

According to everyone else, you and Mingi are good friends, just good friends. They didn’t need to know anything else, even if sometimes your glances told them otherwise… it’s just that Mingi had a bit of a reputation for awhile now and honestly, even if it didn’t bother you, it bothered a lot of other people. He dated… a lot, well, if you can call it ‘dating’. Either way, you’ll always love him, platonically of course. 

You two decided to show up together at the first gathering of the summer. It felt like you and all your friends went to different colleges, had crazy busy jobs, or just moved away, so having everyone back always resulted in a party, nothing crazy, but it was always special. It felt like tradition. And god, you’d been missing them all, even more so Yunho. You’ve always had a bit of a deeper bond with Mingi and Yunho. even if you absolutely loved and cherished the others so very much, it was slightly deeper with them. 

Mingi went to the same college as you so you could see him more often than the others, but Yunho lived a couple of hours away because he’s been interning at his dads sales company. It felt like your ball of sunshine was turning into a business man.

Finally, you and Yunho were able to visit and catch up during the party, after playing beer pong with Jongho, you were tired from playing for so long, him being so competitive. 

you rested on the couch, your legs on Yunhos lap while he was excitedly telling you all about how his internship was going and all of his coworkers while resting his hands on your legs. You’ve always loved how affectionate he is and ate up whatever attention he gave you, it was normal for you two to be so close. no one looked twice or really cared about the skinship.

Well, except Mingi. 

Which is why he made some excuse to drag you upstairs in a hurry, something along the lines of ‘girl troubles’ which was actually true, he just never had any of that ‘trouble’ with you, since you were the one that was always there, long before he even had his first girlfriend. The rest of them just looked at their friend with an amused look on their faces.

Yunho of course just whines playfully as you leave for upstairs but lets you go. 

Which is how you ended up where you are now..

‘Fuck’ Mingi moans and grinds into you, the denim of his jeans rubbing roughly against your bare ass, your skirt hiked up to your waist, kneeling on all fours in a bathroom with rough tiles digging into your knees and palms. Classy, you think to yourself. 

You grind back onto him roughly and he grips your hips roughly in response. 

music echoes loudly outside the room, the party still going downstairs.

‘Mingi, hurry. We’re in a dirty ass bathroom’ you complain and push yourself against his clothed bulge, hoping he gets the message. He just chuckles at you ‘always so impatient’ the next thing you hear is him unbuckling his belt. Anticipation shudders through you, you can’t help but whine with need and wiggle your hips. Eventually, he pulls his briefs down and places the tip of his raw cock on your wet cunt, he teases it from your hole to your clit and your entire body tingles in need.

‘That shut you up, huh?’ his voice deep and laced with possession. as much as you want to respond all snarkily, you’re completely at this man’s mercy. ‘Please..’ you mumble through a moan. He must take mercy on you because not even a second later he is fully sheathed inside of you. Your wet heat sucking him in, already dripping off of him in excess. You moan so loudly that Mingi snorts behind you. ‘Really? That desperate?’ he smacks your ass and you feel yourself trembling, trying to keep from falling. No matter who you are with, no one compares to Mingi, and that includes your exes. It’s something you’ve known for years but try not too think too deeply into it, because honestly, it’s just sexual chemistry.

‘Just fuck me already.’ you sass, pushing yourself back on him. It must work because you feel him bruising your hips already, fucking you hard against the floor. you fucking love it. Mingi pauses for a minute and you panic, but calm once you feel his bare chest against your back, you get the full scent of his cologne and slight sweat that moment as well, suddenly you feel pride and nearly smug in how you were the one to make this man who has been with so many others, such a mess already. 

‘More please’ you whimper again in desperation ‘yes, princess’ he says, with less of a fight. He must be getting close. You’d say something if he wasn’t fucking you so hard that you had to struggle just to keep from falling over on the dirty floor, but it’s not like you both had the luxury of taking your time at the moment. Inside the bathroom, the loud smack of his hips against the fat of your ass and the wetness of your pussy sounds absolutely obscene. ‘How are you always so tight?’ he moans. you get even wetter, making a mess of Hongjoongs’ parents bathroom (sorry Joong~). He starts fucking into you even harder and you feel yourself also inching closer and closer to your peak. You both feel lost in the moment, delirious with your need to make one another cum. Your moaning loudly but trying to cover your mouth to muffle yourself, you know Mingi would usually complain but he also knows that you both need to be careful, careful to not mess with your group of friends dynamic, since that’s what matters most. 

He’s grinding inside of you, reaching places you or anyone else course never could. ‘Can I cum inside you?’ he asks breathily and with hope and his pace is beginning to stutter. As much as everything inside of you wants to say yes, you knew it would be a mess and you’ve both already been away for too long. ‘Not tonight, Gi’ he whines, disappointed, but keeps going. he shifts his grip and roughly turns you over so he can reach your clit, his long fingers rubbing quick circles into you, while he slips his thumb inside of you along with his dick. You’re so close already you’re about to cry. After another minute or so of him unrelentingly teasing your clit, you’re gasping and coming all over his cock. He’s still chasing his high, and with no time to come down, you’re feeling overly stimulated. ‘Did so good’ he praises you sweetly and sounding so spent. Your body is limp against his, him controlling the pace. He’s close, you can always tell. Suddenly he pulls out of you and you hear him groan and finish himself, his cum hitting your pussy. He pants, sweat dripping from his forehead. He lets out a goofy smile from up above you. ‘I guess I needed that’ he reaches for some toilet paper and gently wipes his cum from your skin. ‘Jesus, Gi. you couldn’t have waited till one of us left?’ you say, exhaustion in your voice. You realize you’re still laying on the floor when he grabs your hands to help you up. ‘Thanks’ you pull your skirt back into place and put your shirt back on. Thankfully, he didn’t take off your bra and toss it somewhere. It’s a bit awkward, you fixing your hair and attempting to look like you didn’t just have sex, let alone with all of your friends downstairs. Mingi already has his shirt back on and his hair looks just as good as it did, the only difference is that his cheeks are slightly flushed and sweaty. Fuck this man and his attractiveness. 

‘I’m gonna head back down, you good?’ he asks while fixing his hair again in the mirror. 

‘I’ll be down there in a few’ you reply. He comes to stand next to you in the mirror ‘yeah, you need a few. My bad’ he says cockily. you punch his shoulder ‘don’t flatter yourself. I’ll be a minute’ you snort. So, of course, he leaves the bathroom like nothing happened, because according to the rest of the party, nothing did. 

Once you deem yourself presentable you head downstairs. Yeosang greets you at the bottom of the stairs. ‘Need a drink?’ he quirks an eyebrow. You hope he doesn’t notice your clothes in slight disarray. Then again, who would believe that you would be hooking up with Mingi, out of all people. 

You smile tiredly ‘so badly’ he giggles ‘i’ll be back with wine. There should be some in the kitchen somewhere, Not everyone enjoys shitty beer’ he says and heads to the kitchen.

You appreciate him, truly. Also, you hated beer and he knew that.

You notice that Yunho is still on the couch, drinking a beer. You decide to sit next to him again. He looks a bit lost in his thoughts and doesn’t notice you until you nudge your head against his shoulder ‘Tired already? I guess you are a working man now’ you gently poke his side, he in response smiles his bright and sunshine like smile. ‘Yeah, I think so. Just a long drive up here.’ he actually does look tired and it doesn’t sit well with you. ‘Want me to stay over? We can have a sleepover in the guest bedroom’ you rest your head on his shoulder, just wanting to spend more with him, knowing he will be leaving in a couple of days. ‘Yeah, I’d like that. Hwa is rooming with San and Wooyoung tonight, so you lucked out’ you both laugh softly. 

Yunho is staring past you, an amused look on his face.

‘How did Mingi find someone already?’ you turn around curiously and see Mingi talking to some girl in a tight pink dress… which, who even invited her? He has his hand on the small of her back and his dimples are showing. He couldn’t make it more obvious that your quick fuck in the bathroom meant nothing to him. You’re angry at yourself for caring, you truly are, but your only condition with Mingi was that he only see you when he wasn’t seeing others that same night. 

You didn’t know how hard you were staring until Yunho waves his hand in front of you ‘You good, y/n?’ you snap out of it instantly ‘yeah, sorry. I’ve just never seen her around before’

‘Ahh, she’s a friend of Hongjoongs brother. She just started university here’ he explains.

You nod and quickly look at them again before turning back to Yunho. ‘So, Yeosang is getting some wine, I’ll have him bring it to the guest room, maybe we can start a movie, all three of us?’ you say excitedly. ‘I’ll grab us some comforters’ Yunho says happily and with a smile. Soon, Yeosang heads back with the wine and you’re all heading upstairs to chill when Yeosang turns to you, a certain look on his face ‘y/n, your skirt is almost backwards’ you panic for a slight moment ‘i guess I messed it up using the restroom?’ Yeosang pretends to understand fully but still teases you over being messy. As you are heading upstairs again, you meet Mingis eyes and he just smirks at you, the girl still by his side.

Fucking smirks. Seriously? Yunho just grabs you and pulls you next to him, confused as to why you stopped.

You give your full attention back to Yunho and just ignore Mingi being a dick.

Eventually you find yourself about to fall asleep with the other two in sleeping bags next to you. Somehow your brain goes to thinking Mingi and that girl,

God, why do you even like him again? I mean, platonically of course. 

[daffodildazaiwrites]

can i pls request poly hcs for chuuya/reader/dazai bc i love them very much and also i just wanna date them both. perhaps just like “how they met” + cute relationship hcs if that’s ok!! nsfw is optional! Thank u so much ^^

THIS IS SUCH A GREAT REQUEST! Thank you so much anon! Also since I felt like it would be easier to establish a relationship like that I took the liberty of making the reader a part of the Port Mafia. It just seemed easier then to write reader as a part of the agency,  I hope you enjoy, this was super fun to write!!!! Also I love writing poly relationships so feel free to requests more!

also ofc im writing nsfw it’s a shame that you even considered that i might not lol

Warning: Explicit sinful content at the end

Commissions | Ko-Fi

Your relationship with Chuuya was already well established on the day you met Dazai. Your relationship with Chuuya was of being flirty friends that always came to the edge of being something more. You weren’t going to lie, after working with the red head for so long you had developed a minor crush. 

Meeting Dazai for the first time was one of the most confusing instances that happened to you. First of all, for someone who was imprisoned by the Port Mafia he had quite the mouth on him and second you’ve never witnessed Chuuya act so irrationally annoyed at someone before. At least someone other than you. 

You’ve heard many stories about Dazai Osamu before, especially from Chuuya. You’ve expected the man to, at least, look more threatening. But after the interrogation began you noticed where his true weapon layed, his mind. That same weapon was the reason why you were so mesmerized by him. You could never admit this to Chuuya though. Dazai was the enemy and from the seeming of it, Chuuya absolutely despised him. 

Dazai, noticing your lingering stares and open body language, was quick to engage in conversation. He was much more flirtatious then you anticipated and to be honest, it kind of worked. Blood rushed to your cheeks as you looked the other way. Dazai wasn’t the only one to notice your reaction. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

“What?”

Meanwhile Chuuya was the embodiment of mixed emotions. Seeing Dazai after so long made him want to kick his face in to the wall and hug him. He was highly confused about the latter. But his rage grew when Dazai shamelessly flirted with you and that it worked????? he was appalled.

He never acted on it but he kind of figured you had a crush on him but apparently you also are head over heels about Dazai? He took in a deep breath. He might’ve over exaggerate the second part a bit. 

After the encounter, Dazai visited both you and Chuuya frequently and as time passed it was harder and harder to consider Dazai as the enemy. Even Chuuya didn’t seem surprised anymore that the man just showed up in your shared apartment. After a certain hour the two of you grew accustomed to hear a knock at the window. 

The only issue was that Dazai and Chuuya fought all the time. It was tiring for you. Especially when their competitiveness over you grew, you felt like a toy that was trying to be shared among two toddlers. 

The first sudden realization that you might have feelings for the two men you have grown accustomed to is when Chuuya blatantly told you that he wouldn’t mind if you wanted to be with Dazai and that he would understand. You couldn’t be with either of them because you had fallen for them both. 

Chuuya is relieved when you don’t choose. Even if he wanted you happiness he couldn't bare the idea  of losing two people he cared about. He could still argue that he hated Dazai with a fiery passion but he would be fooling no one. 

Dazai is the first one to suggest a poly relationship as the three of you were lounging on the couch. Your head resting on Dazai’s lap as your legs rested on Chuuya’s. With confusion both you and Chuuya stared at him. You’ve heard the term before but you had no idea how it would work. 

When Dazai explained the fundamentals of a poly relationship, you’re relieved. There was nothing wrong with you. You weren’t selfish or insatiable. Dazai’s proposition felt like a blessing and eased your troubled heart. 

Chuuya on the underhand, still felt confused. He felt that trouble and heartbreak was inevitable in such a relationship. Especially because he had convinced himself Dazai was only suggestion such a thing for your sake. It wasn’t hard to see how you felt about the both of them so to him, it seemed like Dazai was just trying to spare your feelings. When your sparkling eyes landed on Chuuya, he felt as if he had to say yes, for your sake at least. 

Dazai eased Chuuya’s mind when he admitted that he cared for the both of you and that he simply didn’t want to choose. He also added that they practically lived together anyway. This was enough to convince Chuuya but due to Dazai being a part of the Armed Detective Agency they had to keep it a secret. Dazai had no problem with this but both you and Chuuya weren’t really known to be good at being secretive. You were just too impulsive. Besides what if they had to attack the agency, what then? 

But then again, none of you wanted to back down, therefore your relationship began. 

General Relationship:

 Dazai is a brat. He wants everything to go according to his plans. The fact that he’s very good at reading the both of you makes it easy for him to get his way. He doesn’t mind playing minor tricks or manipulation tactics to get you and Chuuya to do stuff you don’t originally want to do. It’s exhausting to constantly trying to understand if Dazai was genuine or just wanted you to do something. Chuuya suggested that he should just kick him in the face as a punishment but you preferred to actually communicate. The two of you sit Dazai down and tell him how awful you and Chuuya had been feeling. He’s shocked at first because he had no idea the issue had gotten that big, but he’s quick to apologize. 

You and Chuuya mostly do the cooking. In fact you’re not going to even take credit, Chuuya is the actual one who cooks. You’re usually there more as an assistant. Since Dazai, for the sake of keeping the relationship off grid, comes home late the meals are usually prepared and waiting for him. Also Dazai tried to cook once, the kitchen caught on fire so Chuuya forbade him to cook ever again. 

Dazai tends to tease the both of you a lot. Whenever the mafia and agency clashes in some way, he says the most inappropriate things and it flusters both of you. In fact, you saw the whole agency looking at Dazai with utter confusion and discomfort whenever he opened his mouth near the two of you. Chuuya ended up strangling Dazai when he got home and honestly, you let it go on more than necessary. 

Unfortunately, since the relationship is secret you can’t really go on outside dates. The three of you stay indoors and your dates would usually consists of binging movies or reading books. The three of you decided to go out on full moons only. Chuuya would prepare a basket filled with you and Dazai’s favorites and would go on a moonlit picnic. 

Chuuya is the jealous one. He hates when anyone so much as glances at you or Dazai. Of course, Dazai loves to play it up a bit especially if he KNOWS Chuuya can’t say anything or else he’ll be in trouble. In the end both you and Dazai shower the redhead with extra affection when the three of you are at home or else he’ll be super cranky for a week. 

Dazai and Chuuya are both very open with their affection. They love to shower you with kisses and hugs. Chuuya especially. Since you and Chuuya work together it’s more easy for him to hold you hand or hug you from behind in the day time. Even if he would never admit it Dazai does get jealous because you two get to spend more time together while in the meanwhile he has to jump through hoops to see the two of you. 

Chuuya smokes when he’s stressed and basically WW3 begins in the house. The two of you hate the smell and want him to stop. 

“It’s just one smoke. It’s not like I smoke all the time.” 

“SMOKING KILLS!”

“OH MY GOD IT’S JUST ONE SMOKE, I’M STRESSED!”

“DON’T TRY THAT CRAP ON ME WE WORK AT THE SAME PLACE!” 

“Look you ALWAYS leave an empty carton of milk in the fridge and don’t get me started on Dazai!”

“What do I do?!” 

“IT’S LIKE YOU DON’T EVEN TRY TO AIM WHEN YOU GO TO THE TOILET!”

When the three of you drink, usually wine, you and Dazai’s favorite thing is to get Chuuya drunk. He gets super clingy and affectionate and downright adorable when he’s drunk. Even with Dazai, Chuuya doesn’t hesitate to sit on his lap and give him a sloppy kiss and mumble how much he likes him. Then he starts to cry because he just loves the two of you so much and in the end he ALWAYS falls asleep on either yours or Dazai’s lap. 

The fact that Chuuya and Dazai are absolute troublemakers you worry constantly. Even if you can keep an eye on Chuuya and make him not fight literally everyone that he sees, there’s really no telling what Dazai is up to. It gets to such a point that you end up crying in secret because the constant fear of losing either of them is just too much for you. When the two men learn of this they console you and decide to come up with a system where Dazai notifies them in every three hours by any means necessary. If he can, he also tries to texts more often.   

While you and Chuuya love to cuddle, Dazai isn’t that much of a fan. Despite that he would entertain the two of you by wrapping his long arms and legs around both of you when you go to bed. You would usually be in the middle whilst Chuuya would be the little spoon. On days where Dazai came back especially late, he would find the two of you huddled up together. His heart would melt at the sight and after giving you and Chuuya a peck on the forehead, he would settle in, pulling you both closer to his body.

NSFW:

Chuuya is the most nervous one among the three of you. Considering his former relationship with Dazai it’s hard for him to let himself be so vulnerable in front of the other. Much to Chuuya’s surprise, Dazai is patient with him and doesn’t do anything that might make him uncomfortable, he does love to tease Chuuya though. At this point teasing his loved ones is pretty much Dazai’s drug. As time passes Chuuya starts to trusts Dazai with his body and needs. 

Dazai just screams dominant energy to you and you’re not mistaken. He would make you beg for his cock and tease you until you started to hump the nearest pillow with saliva dribbling down your mouth. He would want a show to say the least. He would tie Chuuya to a chair with his cock out and ready, then he would fuck you right in front of him, teasing Chuuya as he had his way with you. Asking Chuuya if the view was good, if he liked what he was doing to you, if he wanted to join them. He was also a fan of trying new things and toys as long as the two of you were okay with it. 

Chuuya on the other hand was gentle as gentle could be. He would litter your flushed skin with soft kisses and make you feel like a true goddess. He would like to tease you in his own way. Chuuya would have his way with you in a slow and steady pace, sucking, licking and kissing every inch of your body. In the end you would writhe underneath him, begging him to put his cock in you and just fuck you already.  

Seeing the two men for the first time together makes your cunt drip with want immediately. Dazai is quite tender with Chuuya and the way he slowly works him open with his long fingers and then fucks him is a huge turn on for you. The sight of Chuuya being filled with Dazai’s cock to the brim and the sweet noises of his moaning made you lose control. Your body would move on its own as you nestled yourself between Chuuya’s legs and sucked his hard cock. 

When Dazai and Chuuya get together you are pretty much guaranteed to see stars. You love being filled up by both ends and feeling the two men you absolutely adore inside of you. Dazai would fuck you as you sucked on Chuuya’s cock. Both men groaning and moaning as they had their way with you. Being the one who has no self control Chuuya would wrap your hair around his fingers and started to blatantly fuck your mouth. You would the tip of his cock deep in your throat as you swallowed around him. Not liking to be ignored Dazai would snap his hips faster and harder, making you moan around Chuuya’s length. Your inner walls would clench around Dazai’s cock as you came. The two men would follow suit, both of them filling you up with their delicious cum to the brim. 

[hopelikethemoon]

Conclusions (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Conclusions  Rating: PG-13 Length: 2100 Warnings: Angst (fear of abandonment, jumping to conclusions)  Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set in November 1992. Shoutout to @heather-lynn​ for unintentionally convincing me to finish this.  Summary: Reader wakes up alone.

Taglist:  @grapemama  @seawhisperer @huliabitch @pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes @thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow @hiscyarika @plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale  @roxypeanut @snivellusim @amarvelousmandalorian @lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper @awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie @swhiskeys @lady-tano @beskar-droids @space-floozy @cable-kenobi @longitud-de-onda @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes @findhimfives @pedrosdoll @seeking-a-great--perhaps @frietiemeloen @arrowswithwifi @random066 @uncomicalhumour @heather-lynn @domino-oh-damn @cyarikaaa​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​ @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl���  @yabby-girl @xqueenofthecraziesx​ @punkass-potato​ @coredrive​ @pascalesque​ @theduchessofkirkcaldy​ @queenquazar​ @sabinemorans​ @buckstaposition​ (if I forget to tag you, I’m sorry)

Despite how exhausted you were every day, sleep seemed to be a rather difficult pursuit to achieve. A pursuit that seemed to evade you until those last few hours before your alarm clock went off and a new day was forced to begin. Even on the weekends, your body refused to let you get more than a handful of hours of sleep. 

Being pregnant sucked. At least you weren’t throwing up quite as frequently as you were in those first few months. 

Recently — very recently — you had discovered that Javier was pretty good at putting you to sleep. Sure, he gave a killer back massage, but his real skills came from his mouth. That first night with him hadn’t given him the opportunity to show off what his mouth could do. 

All Javi had to do was spend an hour or so between your legs, helping you crest over the edge, and in the post-orgasm haze your body finally gave in and let you relax. 

But just because he got you to fall asleep, didn’t mean the baby growing inside you would let you stay asleep. Like clockwork, somewhere around one or two in the morning you’d find yourself wide awake until you finally fell back asleep somewhere around five. It was torture. 

The sunlight streaming through your bedroom window was what started to wake you up at first. You stirred, stretching your legs out beneath the covers — seeking a cool spot to keep them as you started to roll over onto your other side.

“What time is it?” You mumbled, eyes still closed as you reached out beside you. Your heart sank as you found the bed beside you empty. 

It was the weekend. Javier always stayed over for the weekend. 

You ran your hand over the sheets beside you, finding them cool to the touch. He hadn’t been laying there for at least an hour. Maybe longer. 

Had he said something about not being able to stay? As far as you knew, he wasn’t on assignment this weekend. Javier tried his best to avoid being thrown into the field over the weekends — it was the only time the two of you could just be.

A rush of unbidden emotion flooded your senses. 

What if he had left? What if, at some point last night, he’d decided he didn’t want this. The baby. You. 

And that cut you to the core. 

Maybe you deserved it. After all, you’d been the one to leave him first. Was this how he felt the morning after? Confused. Alone.

You rolled onto your back, pressing the heels of your palms against your eyes in a vain attempt to forestall the tears that you felt brimming in them. You couldn’t fucking stand how emotional you were. You were never one to cry. You’d been through too much shit in your life to sit around and cry about it… but pregnancy?

Everything made you want to cry. 

But this? The sudden rush of fear that Javier had finally had enough of this bullshit, made you want to crawl into a hole and die. You could do this alone, if you had to… but you couldn’t do it in Colombia.

Knowing what it felt like to be loved by him — losing that? You weren’t going to subject yourself to the pain of having to work across an office from him. Maybe they’d let you transfer to another office stateside. 

You could go back to Atlanta, if they’d have you there. You’d left on good terms and given your situation, you’d take a shitty desk job just to stay with the agency. You’d work your way back up from the groundfloor if you had to.

The tears fell freely, trailing down over your temples and dampening your pillow just above your ears. You stared up at the ceiling, willing yourself to stop jumping to conclusions. But you were already mapping out a future for you and your baby that didn’t include Javier. And that brought on a fresh wave of tears. 

You could do this on your own. You didn’t need anyone. You were actually really good at living your life alone. Besides, you wouldn’t be alone if you had your daughter. You wouldn’t fail her the way you had been failed. 

Reluctantly you sat up, wiping away the tears as they slid down your cheeks. Fuck. What a shitty way to start off a Saturday — crying almost always caused you to suffer through a headache for the rest of the day.

Thanks Javier.

You frowned as your eyes flickered to the corner of the room, where Javier’s jeans had been tossed last night. They were still right there, untouched… alongside his boots. Huh. While he had plenty of pairs of extra pants stored in your dresser — he only had the one pair of boots.

Somehow you doubted he’d been in such a haste to leave that he’d fled your apartment barefoot.

You looked towards your bedroom door as you heard a shuffling sound on the other side of it, just before it was pushed open slowly and Javier popped his head through the crack. He looked surprised to see you awake, though that surprise quickly shifted into worry as he met your eyes. “Baby, have you been crying?”

“No.” You lied, wiping at your cheeks. 

“Hey…” Javier said gently as he climbed into bed with you. He reached out and took your hands into his, rubbing his thumbs over the backs of them. “Baby, what’s wrong?” 

You shook your head as you looked away from him, your eyes fixed on the window. “I feel like a fucking idiot.” You admitted, squeezing his hands tightly, before you pulled your hands from his grasp. “Oh my God.” You covered your face as you brought your knees towards your chest as tears started to fall anew. 

Javier hesitated at first. You couldn’t blame him for being confused. When else had he had to deal with a hormonal pregnant woman? “Baby. Baby.” He reached out, running his hand over your back before he moved to sit behind you, pulling you back against his chest. 

You turned, tucking your head under his chin as you let him hold you. “I hate crying.” You complained, sniffling as you wiped away your tears as they slid down your cheeks. “I hate it.” 

“You wanna tell me why you’re crying?” He questioned, playing his fingers through your hair, cradling the back of your neck. 

“It’s stupid.” You admitted. “So fucking stupid.” 

“I bet it isn’t,” He whispered as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. 

You sighed heavily, your voice wavering as you answered him. “I thought you left.” 

“What?” You felt the way he stiffened beneath you and it made your heart ache. 

“I woke up and you weren’t in bed.” You started, chewing on your bottom. “I immediately jumped to conclusions and assumed you left.”

“Baby, why would you think that?”

“Because I’m pregnant.” You shoved him lightly in the chest, pulling back to meet his eyes. 

“All these tears are because you thought I left?” He questioned, arching a brow as he regarded you. 

“I told you it was stupid.” You pulled yourself out of his hold, trying to move away from him. “Let go, I need to pee.” 

Javier’s arms went slack around you, letting you crawl out of the bed and away from him. You ducked out the bedroom door, heading across the hall to the bathroom. 

You did need to pee, but in reality, you just wanted to escape from him. Just for a little while. 

At first, you’d thought the sleepless nights, nausea, and the constant need to pee would be the worst part of pregnancy, but in reality it was the tidal wave of emotions that constantly plagued you. Honestly, the men at work were lucky you hadn’t turned them in eunuchs over the slightest inconvenience. 

Fresh tears started falling again as you sat on the toilet. You hadn’t fully addressed just how much you were afraid of him leaving you. Sure, you’d said as much to him (maybe not in so many words) but the fear was real and ever-present. You didn’t need him, but you wanted him. You desperately wanted him to stay. 

And you still hadn’t even told him that you loved him. Those three little words still lived somewhere deep inside of you, too precious to let loose until you were positive he wasn’t going to break your heart. 

You hadn’t bothered to lock the door in your haste, which meant there was nothing preventing Javier from barrelling straight into the bathroom with you.

“Javier! Get out.” You hissed, grabbing the spare roll of toilet paper and chucking it at him. “We are not at this level yet.” 

“Baby, I held your hair up while you puked up a day’s worth of food three nights ago. You sitting on the toilet isn’t going to sour a goddamn thing.” Javier picked up the roll of toilet paper, sitting it on the sink as he knelt down beside you. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up.” 

You rolled your eyes, scoffing quietly as you stared down at the floor in front of you. “Don’t apologize, Javi. You’re allowed to get out of bed,” You grabbed a piece of toilet paper and wiped at the tear tracks on your cheeks. “I’m just being fucking emotional.” 

He reached out and gave your knee a squeeze, “Look, I don’t know much about pregnancy, but I think it’s pretty normal to be emotional, baby. Don’t beat yourself over this.” 

You clenched your eyes closed for a moment, before you finally focused your gaze on him. “I just hate how quickly I jumped to the conclusion, Javi. I didn’t even consider that you might’ve been—”

“Making breakfast for you?” Javier leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your knee, before he peeled himself up off the floor. “I thought I’d do something nice and make breakfast for you. So you didn’t have to get out of bed yet.”

You sniffled, wiping away another tear as it slid down your cheek. “You didn’t have to make me breakfast in bed, Javi.” You mumbled, chewing on your bottom lip as you felt it tremble. “Now I feel like an even bigger ass.” 

“Baby.” He sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I’m not gonna stand here and let you beat yourself up about this.” You stared at him for a long moment, before he clicked his tongue against his teeth and jerked his head towards the door. “Come on. Your tea’s gonna be cold by the time we get back out there.”

You stood up and flushed the toilet, before moving to wash your hands off at the sink. “Are you going to keep watching me?” You questioned, turning to look at him.

“Yeah. I don’t trust you not to lock the door after I walk out of here.” He gave you a pointed look. “C’mere, baby.” Javier held his arms out for you. “I’m not going to judge you for how you react. Ever.”

You moved towards him and wrapped your arms around him, pressing your face into the crook of his neck. “I just hated how I felt.” You admitted, looking up at him as you played with the hairs at the nape of his neck. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” He promised you, giving your hips a squeeze as they settled there. “I promise you, you’re stuck with me.” 

“I know.” You sighed, rubbing at the spot between your brows. “Did you say you made tea?”

“You got a headache?”

“Of my own making, unfortunately.” You grumbled. “Maybe a little caffeine from the tea will help it.” 

“I made your favorite,” Javier told you with a soft smile, leaning down to kiss the spot your fingers had just soothed. He pressed a second kiss to your nose and then a third to your lips. “Do you have anything planned for today?”

You shook your head slowly. 

“Good.” He cupped your cheek, rubbing his thumb over your cheekbone. “I think we deserve a day spent in bed.” 

“Yeah?”

He nodded. “I think it might do us both some good.” 

You reached down and interlaced your fingers with his, squeezing three times. How had you let yourself be so easily convinced that he was going to leave you? The way he looked at you — the way he’d always looked at you — was not the look of a man who had plans to abandon you. That sort of adoration was a once in a lifetime thing.

And you’d both been willing to wait for it. 

[anonniemousefics]

My Dearest Inej | Chapter Eleven

Chapter Masterlist

Originally posted on AO3

Rating: Teen And Up

Synopsis: A series of letters kept among the personal belongings of Captain Inej Ghafa.

Chapter Eleven: A Balancing Act

My darling Inej,  

Don’t think for a minute I don’t know what you’re aiming at with this letter full of questions. You may have my heart, but you can’t be privy to all of my schemes, especially when I’m now aware that your birthday is next month. Did you think I would forget? My dear, I forget nothing.  

So, no, to all of your questions. I’m not telling you what I’ve been plotting lately. I’m not telling you what has been on my mind. I’m not telling you if I’ve been visiting Jesper and Wylan’s more than usual. You must wait in suspense just as Jesper did. That’s part of the experience.

And don’t make that scoffing sound when you read this. I remind you that this whole birthday gift experience business was all your idea. You have no one to blame but yourself.

How do I sleep at night, you asked? Noisily, I’ve been told, but just fine, thank you.  

With all of my scheming heart,

Kaz  

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To my favorite Inej,

Has he said anything at all to you – regarding the incident in my last letter? We found him on the couch again this morning. It’s at least becoming less startling when it happens. I just wish I understood it. He has that uncanny ability to vanish without explanations, and Wylan and I aren’t sure how to bring it up since he’s so clearly bent on pretending it’s not happening.

I suppose if our sofa and our dog are what he needs right now for whatever is happening inside that ridiculous brain of his, then I’m glad we’re able to help in some small way. He’s not taking advantage of much. We only wish he’d trust us with more.

I mean, we’ve all have nearly died for his schemes on more than one occasion. Should I remind him of that? What could possibly be too much to ask of us at this point?

All my love,

Jesper  

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To our feared and beloved Captain

For her twenty-first birthday:

Cake and kvas and mysteries galore

Are awaiting your arrival

Return to Ketterdam if you wish to know more

Your presence is requested at the enclosed address, at 3 bells the 18th of October.  

No questions. All will be revealed in time.

Love,

Your favorite Crows

(addition in Kaz’s handwriting)

That gods-awful poem was Jesper and Wylan’s idea. Withhold judgment until after the evening. I’ll make it worth your while.  

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Dear Nina,  

I’m sailing away from Ketterdam today having nearly every single one of my birthday wishes fulfilled but one. But I won’t hold it against you. I know why you couldn’t have been there, or at least, I understand why I don’t know the specifics of why you couldn’t be there. Just know that, at the time of writing this and always, you are sorely missed.  

You would be so proud, though, with how our boys outdid themselves. I am impressed and moved and, frankly, still a little speechless. I’m honestly still replaying the memories and recalling the half-starved scrappy little things we all were seven years ago, and the two images side-by-side could not be any more different. I hope, wherever you are, the passage of time is bringing you similar new hopes. You deserve that and so much more, Nina.  

Where to begin? You know, years ago, just before we started the Ice Court, Kaz made me this lofty, insane promise. That, if we did it right, we’d be kings and queens. I’ll be damned if he wasn’t right.  

The day started at a dressmaker’s shop. I’d been given an address and a time to arrive, and that alone was a little jaw-dropping. It was in The Lid – an absolute premier spot I’d never even heard of when I lived in Ketterdam. I was grossly underdressed when I arrived. It’s not that I have anything against dresses – you know this. They’re just not at all practical for my line of work, and so I have none. I confess that sometimes I’ll admire them in a shop window when I’m out and about in a port town, but why in the world would I ever spend the coin on one? I wouldn’t even know what suits me anymore.  

This dressmaker, though, Nina. She knew all everything about the right fabrics, the right cut, the right make. They’d booked me the entire shop all to myself, just me and the dressmaker. She found me an absolute perfect gown – I’m staring at it right now. I have no idea what the hell I’m supposed to do with it now that my birthday’s over. Maybe I’ll prop it up in my desk chair and have tea with it every once and awhile. It’s this breathtaking light, pastel yellow, like sunshine, with all this detailed beadwork and exposed shoulders and what the dressmaker called an A-line waist. You might know what that means. I think it’s just dressmaker code for very pretty. She tailored me into it right there in the shop and fitted me with shoes and a cloak to match.

(My one regret was having no idea what to do with my hair. You’d cringe, but I left it in the braid. A minor detail the boys overlooked.)

It took a good few hours to get fixed up in the dress, and it was nearly evening by then. The dressmaker assured me it was all paid for, and right about that time, a black carriage pulled up in front of the shop. And Jesper and Wylan had their heads out the windows, shouting like madmen at me from the streets. I think the entirety of The Lid knew then about my birthday.

Kaz was in the carriage, too, hiding his enthusiasm as he does so well. I have to tell you, though, Nina, I won’t ever forget the look on his face when I got into the carriage. He was clearly trying his best to remain cool and unaffected, but I saw it, the way his jaw dropped slightly and his breath caught. This is obviously why I can never get rid of this dress. I’m just imagining what he’s going to end up writing in his letter after this, since, verbally, he actually managed to mumble that I looked beautiful, right there in front of Jesper and Wylan.

You know, it’s interesting. When he says it, it’s not at all like hearing a man in the Menagerie say it. When he says it, it’s like it’s not just the dress. I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s the same words, and yet it’s so very different.  

And it only got better from there. The city was getting dusky, and the lamps were being lit. We were still in The Lid, amongst carriages and carriages of the filthy rich from the Financial District, the Government District, and tourists from all over. I kept leaning my head out the window to figure out what was coming next.  

Nina – they had bought us all ticket to the Cirque Euphoric.  

Maybe this means nothing to you. But it’s only the most ancient, most elite, most elaborate traveling circus in the world. It can only be afforded anymore by the wealthiest of tourists. And they were there doing an entire season in The Lid in Ketterdam, under a big top the size of two city blocks.

Nina, you don’t understand. My entire childhood, I kept posters and drawings and any relic that made its way to the markets from the Cirque Euphoric. Their high wire artists set the standard for all other performers in the business. The things they do in the sky, Nina, are things I haven’t even begun to imagine yet.

Sufficed to say, as soon as I figured out where we were going, I lost it. I did not know what to do with myself. I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I burst into tears. It was a horrifying few moments for everyone involved. They were fairly certain they’d done something horribly wrong, instead of so wonderfully right. But that only last a couple minutes. I was able to get it together before Kaz could yell at the driver to take us back to East Stave. And then the merriment resumed, soaked handkerchief and all.

Oh, Saints, Nina, it was everything I’d ever imagined and more.

I don’t know how he knew this, but Kaz had reserved us the very best seats. You don’t want to sit too high at a circus or you’ll miss entertainment on the ground. Sitting too low presents a problem, too, because you want to be able to see the footwork the high wire artists can do. We were right in the middle, just where I’d have picked seats myself. Sankta Alina, I felt like a little girl again. I haven’t been that happy in years. I’d almost forgotten what it was to be that happy. And to watch it all with such beloved friends, who knew me well enough to know I would like this, to watch and hear their reactions to the performances. They might have loved it almost as much as I did. Almost.

We took another carriage ride after, hours later, when it was dark and the streets were bustling with very different crowds. I would have assumed that was the end of it, but Kaz had made us reservations in a private dining room at a fine dining club I’d never heard of.

My entire crew from The Wraith was waiting in the dining room. We ate a meal there fit for royalty, with drinks and a cake big enough that even you might have gotten sick of it after awhile. I don’t think I’ll need to eat again for weeks.

It must have been around midnight or past when we finally rolled ourselves out of the club. We took another carriage ride, stopping first at the Van Eck mansion so Wylan could haul a decently-sloshed Jesper off to bed and hopefully not to the toilet bowl. I actually never heard how he ended up faring that night.

And then it was finally just Kaz and me. If I hadn’t been so tired then, I think I’d have tried to snog his face off the whole way home. I’d been noticing his smug little smirk all evening. He’d planned the whole thing. Like I said, kings and queens. He’d made good on his word at last.  

But we were both exhausted on that final carriage ride – he’d booked me a room at the Geldrenner. And it’s not like I needed anything else at that point. The whole experience had already exceeded my expectations. He leaned back against the window, and I rested against him under his arm. We both dozed off there before the end of the ride.  

Which is another point I realize I haven’t mentioned to you yet. This has been happening lately. Kaz falling asleep in unusual places. Jesper’s been worrying about it for weeks now. I was having a hard time believing it until I witnessed it myself. Tell me this isn’t weird:

We got to the Geldrenner, and I asked him to come up. Oh, calm down. Are we really going to pretend like this is shocking at this point? Frankly, given the number of years, it’s shocking we weren’t sneaking into hotel rooms four years ago. And it’s not like we do much more than kiss. Although, I thought about it. It was my birthday after all, and he had just gifted me the experience of a lifetime and a luxury hotel room to boot. I was definitely thinking about it.  

But that’s not the weird part. Let’s agree that’s not the weird part, anyway. We came up, and we did very little talking. There’d been plenty of talking happening all night, and I was more interested in other things he can do with his mouth. Kissing, Nina, Saints. I can sense you doing that waggling thing with your eyebrows. I’m talking about just a lot of kissing, as soon as he let me get my hands on him. The kind of kissing every grown woman should have on her birthday, kisses that slide into more kisses, like there’s nothing else in the world happening but this.

But then the weird part happened. We’re lying on the bed (fully clothed, Nina, he even still had his gloves on), or at least, he’s lying back on the pillows and I’m kissing him, and then I notice he wasn’t really moving. And I sat back a moment, and I swear to you, he had fallen asleep. Believe me, I called him out on it right then, literally – “Are you sleeping?!” And he flinched right awake and apologized and blamed it on the kvas, and I might have even believed him.  

Except Jesper keeps talking about this strange new habit of his. And, as I replay the night’s memories in my head, it does feel like something was off. He seemed paler. He seemed quieter. He seemed – well, tired.  

Now I can’t kick this feeling like there’s something more happening behind the scenes. I wish you were here, Nina, and you could work your magic like you do and just squeeze the truth out of his brain somehow. I’ll have to settle for my own magic, I guess.  

When I look over my letters from him, he’s off-handedly mentioned feeling overwhelmed, particularly since this kid Artie joined the Dregs. And, don’t get me wrong, the kid is kind of handful. His moods swing wide between murderous rage and affectionate admiration. But he’s not Kaz’s sole responsibility. Pim and Anika do a lot to keep him on task and out of the bad kind of trouble. I wouldn’t think this would be enough to drive him to exhaustion.

But then again, Artie is the same age Jordie was. I wonder how much that gets to him. I wonder how much time he spends avoiding that. I wonder if he allows himself to think of it at all. Would that be enough to push him to the edge? Or is it something more?

It couldn’t be me, could it? Am I becoming exhausting?  

Ugh, Nina, come squeeze this out of my brain, too. And then come dress shopping with me, because it is much more enjoyable than I thought it would be.  

Missing you terribly,

Inej

[404gendernotfound]

At least I’m your idiot (Katsuki Bakugou x reader)

Summary: You wake up in Bakugous bed after you had thrown a party with everyone at the UA dorms. You don’t remember how you got there and what happened, so you decide to just quietly leave when he caught you sneaking out. What happened after that was something you never imagined possible.

Contains: fluff, slightly suggestive

Warnings: none

Wordcount: 2,6 K

Enjoy!

________________________________________________________________

I couldn’t remember the last time my head hurt like this. I drank way too much at the little party we had yesterday at the UA dorms even though I knew very well that me and alcohol definitely don’t work great together. But somehow the whole day had made me feel some type of way where I just needed to escape into the depts of a lake filled with alcohol. The first few shots went very well but after that I just couldn’t remember anything. Since I felt like my head was about to explode, I opened my eyes and sat up on the bed. Weird. I didn’t remember my room looking like that. It might have been because I was still sleepy that it took me a while to realize that I actually wasn’t in my room. As the realization hit me, I looked around until I spotted the person next to me on the bed. To my surprise it was non other than Bakugou Katsuki who was still sleeping peacefully right next to me. Starting to slightly panic I looked down at myself to see that I was fully closed. Thank god. At least I didn’t do something stupid in my drunken state. Maybe the others had already left as he took me to his room. There was no other explanation why he would have brought me here. Still being confused about why I was here I slipped out of the bed making sure that I wouldn’t wake Bakugou. I really didn’t want to be confronted with Mr. I-get-angry-at-you-for-no-reason first thing in the morning so I tried to get out of his room as quiet as possible.

“Where do you think you’re going, idiot?!”, he growled in his usual angry tone.

I turned around guilty of being caught trying to sneak out of his room. He was now laying on his stomach, his head resting on his arms as he looked at me. I was planning on just leaving unnoticed but now there was no way to do that anymore. I couldn’t just tell him that I was going back to my room because I was sure he was going to get angry at me for just running away from this situation. But I didn’t really know what to do either so I just came up with the first excuse that came to my mind.

“Umm…I was just going to the bathroom”, I said slightly stuttering.

He looked at me as if he didn’t believe a word I said. I wouldn’t believe myself in this situation either, since it looked really obvious that I was just trying to escape a conversation. Since there was no turning back now I just had to go with my lie. Maybe washing my face would actually help me to think a little bit clearer.

“Alright”, he said, his voice still sounding angry.

I hesitantly grabbed the door handle and opened the door.

“You better be coming back”, I heard Bakugou shout after me as I left his room.

I walked towards the bathroom and sighed loud as soon as I was inside. I didn’t know what to expect when I return to his room and I honestly was kind of scared to hear what he had to say. Since there was no sight of my memory returning even after washing my face with ice cold water, I just stood in front of the mirror looking at the person in the mirror. I looked just as exhausted as I felt with messy hair and dark bags under my eyes. I redid my ponytail to look at least a little bit better and decided then and there that I would never drink as much as yesterday. Who knows what other dumb shit I did last night that I didn’t know of. I must have been really lost in my thoughts that I hadn’t even noticed someone else entering the bathroom to go to the toilet until I heard flushing in one of the stalls. I turned towards the sound just to see a sleepy Kirishima walking towards me with a little smile on his face.

“Oh hey there Y/n”, Kirishima said as he washed his hands in the sink right next to me.

“Morning Kiri”, I said slightly smiling back at him.

I wasn’t surprised that he hadn’t asked me why I was here. Since I hung out a lot of times with the Bakusquad and we mostly spend our time on this floor it wasn’t weird that a girl would be in the boys shared bathroom. He must have noticed that I looked exhausted since he walked over and placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Are you ok?”, he asked.

Was I ok? Other than the headache and slight fear of what I would be confronted with when I got back to Bakugou I felt ok.

“Tough night, huh?”, he added with a slight smile on his face.

“I’m fine. I guess I just drank too much. I should head back before a certain someone blows up. Literally”, I said which made Kiri laugh.

“Oh! So you spend the night at Bakus room?”, he grinned.

“Shut up! My brain is hurting. I can’t handle your teasing this early in the morning”, I said laughing and playfully hit his shoulder before we left the bathroom together.

As I stopped in front of Bakus room I watched Kiri wink at me before he entered his own room. That didn’t really make me feel less nervous but at least it distracted me a little bit. I opened the door and slowly entered the room. Baku had moved from laying on the bed to sitting with his back against the wall and the blanket covering only half of his naked upper body. I had to slightly smile at his also still sleepy state. It was a rare sight to see Baku like this and I wasn’t complaining about the sight in front of me. I walked towards him and sat down.

“So you did come back. I was sure you would just bail on me”, he said in a more friendly tone than before.

“Well…you caught me red handed”, I admitted laughing and awkwardly scratching my neck.

Baku looked shocked at me. He probably didn’t expect me to be this honest.

“So are we gonna talk about what happened?”, he asked.

“To be honest…I don’t remember”, I mumbled.

It was quiet for some time before I turned my head towards him. I wasn’t quite sure what emotion the expression on his face portrayed exactly but he somehow looked disappointed.

“So that’s how it is”, Baku said and looked at me again.

“You’re just gonna pretend that nothing happened between us?”, he added.

So something did happen between us. I just hoped that I didn’t drunkenly confessed to him that I’ve liked him ever since I joined class 1a. I turned my whole body towards him and tried to find the words I needed for him to understand that I wasn’t trying to avoid the subject but I genuinely didn’t remember.

“No. I just…I wish I could remember what happened. But I really can’t. The last thing that I remember is us sitting at the table with the others and taking the first few shots. I swear”, I explained trying my best not to sound like I was about to cry from frustration.

Baku ran his hands through his hair and groaned.

“You really don’t remember?”, he asked again and I nodded.

The way he looked at me now was different than before. He didn’t look as disappointed anymore and for the first time I actually thought I was seeing the soft side of Baku.

“Dumbass”, he mumbled under his breath as he pulled me against his chest with a light chuckle.

My head rested on his chest and I could hear his heart almost hammer against his ribcage. My cheeks flushed and I looked up at him confused. Why would his heart race like that?

“Do you hear that? That’s how I feel about you, idiot”, he said and rolled his eyes as I opened my mouth wanting to say something but I wasn’t able to form any words.

“And you would already know that if you dumbass didn’t get that drunk last night.”, he added and playfully ruffled my hair, making it a mess again.

Did he just say in a very Bakugou way that he liked me back? As Baku noticed that I looked a bit lost he leaned down to my ear.

“Let me show you what you missed last night”, he whispered and lifted me onto his lap before resting his hands on my hips.

I was still a little confused and shocked about his confession as the heat rushed into my cheeks from realizing in what kind of position he had moved me. Was I really that bold last night to just climb onto his lap? Baku noticed my flustered state and softly smiled.

“Close your eyes”, he whispered in the softest voice I’ve ever heard from him.

“Why?”

“Do you trust me?”, he asked and I nodded.

“Then close your eyes”

I obeyed his wish and slowly closed my eyes. My heart was racing like crazy at this point and I was sure he was able to hear it hammer against my chest. One of his hands moved from my hips to cup my cheek and softly caressed it. Just as I was about to melt into his touch I felt his lips softly graze mine before he connected them in a soft and gentle kiss. After quickly processing what was happening right now I shyly kissed him back and moved my arms to his shoulders to keep myself steady while melting into the kiss. As Baku detached his lips from mine and saw my burning red cheeks he smiled.

“Didn’t expect that, right idiot?”, he asked, stating it more as a fact than an answer.

He was right. I expected everything but not him being this gentle and caring with me. I knew that most of his angry attitude was just an image he kept up in front of everyone that knew him but that façade and the wall he had build around his emotions sometimes crumbled a little bit while being around his close friends. But I still couldn’t get used to a not so angry Bakugou. I leaned my forehead against his and sighed. Him calling me a dumbass or and idiot was nothing knew and I was already really used to it but it somehow sounded different now.

“At least I’m your idiot”, I whispered and watched Bakugou blush as he heard my words.

I’ve never seen him blush in the context of being flustered and not getting red from anger and I was really enjoying the view in front of me.

“Say that again”, he demanded with bright red cheeks.

I had to smile at his request. My heart was happily jumping around in my chest while I moved my face closer to his so my lips were slightly grazing his while speaking.

“I said, at least I’m YOUR idiot”, I repeated and noticed his grip on my hips tighten.

“God”, he groaned and connected our lips again.

This time, the kiss was a little bit rougher and hungrier than before. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him even closer to me. Goosebumps started to build all over my body as a quiet moan slipped from Bakus lips as I accidently grinded on him trying to reduce the space between our bodies. He parted from the kiss slightly panting and grinned.

“Even though I wanted to scold you for getting that drunk last night I really can’t be angry at you at all. If you dumbass hadn’t drunkenly clung onto me and whined that…and I quote “Katsuki will never like me back” then I would have never kissed you yesterday. So I really have to thank drunk you”, he explained and actually genuinly smiled at me.

I’ve never really seen Bakugou smile as bright as that. I moved my hands from his neck to his face to cup his cheeks.

“What are you staring at?”, he asked.

“I’ve never seen you smile like that. It looks beautiful”, I admitted and he closed his eyes sighing before he opened them again and purposely tightened the grip on my hips making me whimper.

“Don’t overdo it with the compliments, teddybear”, he whispered and my cheeks started to burn.

I’ve never heard him call me such a nickname other than idiot and dumbass, so hearing him call me teddybear made my heart race even more. He smirked at my reaction and softly let his finger run over my neck, intensifying the goosebumps all over my body.

“You like it when I call you that, don’t you…teddybear?”, he whispered right into my ear and I had to actively stop my body from shivering at his words.

He still must have noticed my reaction since he deeply chuckled and then softly kissed my neck. Another whimper accidently escaped my mouth, this time louder and he instantly stopped. My heart was almost beating out of my chest as he looked at my burning red cheeks.

“You can’t just let such a lewd sound escape those beautiful lips, teddybear”, he whispered against my lips and smirked.

“I can’t help it. You’re touch and kisses just feel way too good to be true, Katsuki”, I admitted and purposefully added his name to see if he was ok with me calling him by his name.

We usually didn’t call him that since Baku rolled off the tongue better, so he didn’t hear it that often. I watched his eyes widen and he grabbed one of my hands and placed it on his heart.

“You’re gonna give me a heart attack”, he said as I felt his heart literally hammer against his chest.

Just the thought of me making him react like that was boosting my self-esteem and confidence a lot. I leaned forward to kiss his nose.

“I won’t let that happen. I can’t lose you”, I whispered and quickly got pulled into a hug.

“Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere”, he mumbled against my neck before squeezing me tight.

I smiled at him as I moved back out of the hug. The look on his face was soft, still with a slight tint of pink on his cheeks and his mouth formed into a little smile. Seeing him like this was so new but I could really get used to this side of him. He slowly grabbed my hands with his and intertwined our fingers before leaning his forehead against mine.

“You know I’m not good with feelings and expressing myself, but I will try to show you as best as I can what you mean to me. So please…will you be mine?”, he asked with such honesty in his voice that my heart stopped for a second.

“I’m already yours, Katsuki”, I whispered and placed another kiss on his soft lips.

[hms-chill]

A Channel of Your Peace

Summary: Following Henry being outed, the election, and the end of the book, Henry and Philip slowly start to fix their relationship. There’s blood that can’t be unshed, but there’s also a chance that things could get better.

Chapter 1: Make Me an Instrument of Your Peace

Chapter 2: Where There is Hatred, Let Me Sow Love

Chapter 3: Where There is Offense, Let Me Bring Pardon

Alex arrives just before the state dinner, giving them only the time from Heathrow to Buckingham to really be alone. They make the most of it, a mix of making sure the other is actually alright and using their mouths for more exciting things. When they get close to Buckingham, Henry pulls back to fix Alex's hair before they have to step out of the car and into Henry's world. He's not thrilled to belong here, but Alex is by his side, both of them smiling as they walk into the palace and the dinner. It helps to know that Alex doesn't mind these events, especially when they're open to heads of global states. He may still roll his eyes a bit at someone called Basil or Dorian or Bartholomew, but he'll find an interesting conversation somewhere. There's a good chance he'll spend that night telling Henry what he's learned about the differences between American and French immigration law or what steps queer activists are taking in Italy. He thrives here in a way Henry never has, and Henry's just glad to know he'll be happy enough, and that he's not dragging Alex to somewhere he'll be miserable.

They sit beside each other for dinner, even if they're in different conversations, but they drift a bit as they're sharing drinks and finger foods with guests afterward. Henry sees Alex talking to someone he thinks might be a diplomat from South Africa, and Alex looks happy and engaged. He's stuck as a third wheel in a conversation between politicians from Scotland and Finland, smiling and nodding without actually contributing anything, when he feels a hand on his shoulder and turns to see Martha. She looks a bit pale, but she's smiling.

"Henry, darling, could I borrow you a moment?"

"Of course. If you two gentlemen will excuse me." He's not even sure they notice as he takes a few steps away, smiling at Martha as she leads him to an emptier corner of the room. "Thank you so much. How are you feeling? How was the trip from Anmer?"

"I'm alright, and the trip went well. And this doesn't have to take too long, if you'd like to go find Alex or talk to someone else, but I just wanted to ask you something, and I'm not sure I'll have a chance before I go back tomorrow. It's... it's something Pip is too nervous to ask you or Bea, but he--" she stops, a hand on her stomach. She's at least a shade paler than she was a moment before.

"Are you alright?" Henry reaches out to take her arm, and she grabs his with an iron claw. There's a slight sheen of sweat peeking through her setting powder, and she takes what looks like a forced a deep breath before answering.

"I'm... I'm going to be sick." Her eyes dart toward the door at the front of the room, but Henry knows that's not the place to go. It opens into a wide hall and a series of entertaining rooms, and there is a toilet, but it's not a good toilet to be sick in. Bea had gone there with the flu once when they were growing up, and he remembers everyone at dinner trying to ignore it as the sounds of her being sick echoed around the empty rooms.

"Follow me." She looks worried as he guides her toward the back of the room, but he promises it'll be alright as he pushes open a small door and through a short maze of servant's quarters to the nearest private toilet. Between the insulation in the walls and the sheer number of turns they took to get here, any noise should be muffled.

Her grip on his arm has tightened, but she has her other hand over her mouth. Her eyes are wide over it, and she barely makes it to the toilet before a sludge of dinner comes back up. Henry kneels beside her, gathering her hair in one hand and texting Alex with his other. Philip won't check his phone, not at an event like this, but Alex will. Henry just hopes Alex will be on good enough terms with Philip to be able to get him here.

When the text is sent, Henry pulls Martha's hair into a loose braid and rubs her back gently until she's done being sick, then gets her a cup of water when she sits up. She looks like she's planning to go back to the dinner like nothing's happened, but she looks tired and she's still a bit pale, so Henry sits on the floor with his back against the wall and says, "let's just wait here for a bit, okay? Philip's... I texted Alex to get Philip, so he should be here soon."

She nods, sitting on the floor next to him and leaning back with a yawn. "I'm sorry. I've... I've just been so tired recently."

"Philip said you've been working a lot."

"Yes, well, that's sort of what I wanted to speak to you about. Pip and I, well. We... we've been thinking of opening a charity as well. It would be focused on helping military families, especially ones separated by overseas deployment. He... being gone while your father was ill was hard for him, even if he won't necessarily talk about it a lot. He wants to help keep families closer together, and try to find ways to keep them connected more even when deployment takes people away from the people they love, but he's afraid that you and Bea will be upset or think he's stealing your ideas. I've tried to tell him that I don't think you'll be upset, but he... I think he's just afraid to upset you both again."

"I don't think either of us could be upset about that; it's a great idea. I think Bea would, too, especially since we both saw how much being away while Dad was sick."

--

In the after-dinner mingling, Alex has just noticed Henry's missing when he feels his phone buzz. He manages to sneak a look, and when it's Henry, he slips to the edge of the room to actually read it.

He can barely believe he's doing this, but a minute later, he's fining Philip to ask, "your highness, could I have a minute?" Philip looks confused as he turns, but Alex says, "Martha's sick; Henry had to take her to a bathroom."

Philip is moving even before Alex is done telling him what's happening, turning to ask, "did he say where they are?"

So Alex has no choice but to follow him, shooting off a text to Henry asking where they are as he follows Philip out into a wide entrance room.

--

"I know the RAF is important to him, and he does really love it. He just... it was hard for him to be there instead of being able to grieve with all of you. So if he could put together something to fund flights home for members of the RAF who need to go home but can't afford it, or to fly families to visit people who are deployed, that--" she stops, a hand going to her mouth for a moment before the nausea seems to pass.

"If you were ill, you didn't have to come tonight. We would have understood," Henry says gently. Martha sighs, looking suddenly exhausted.

"I honestly felt fine. It's... I don't feel ill, not really. I'm tired, but then this nausea, it... it just comes out of nowhere. You saw; one moment I'm fine and the next, it's bad enough that I'll be sick."

"Have you considered seeing a doctor?"

--

Philip goes straight to a bathroom, but it's empty. Alex texts Henry again, asking where they are as Philip leads the way through a series of incredibly fancy, disappointingly empty bathrooms. He's starting to get more and more worried as they go, his shoulders tensing and his mouth tightening in an expression Alex recognizes from Henry's most stressed moments. By their fourth empty bathroom, Alex grabs him by the shoulders.

"Hey. Calm down; it's going to be alright. Take a deep breath. Yeah, that's good; take another. We'll find them. I promise." Philip takes another deep breath, finally meeting Alex's eyes. For a moment, he doesn't feel like the Philip who's hurt Henry and Bea so much over the past five years. He's just a scared person, and Alex knows all too well what it feels like to be so worried about someone he loves. After a bit, Alex says, "they wouldn't have come this far if Martha was going to throw up. Is there another way out of that room, or a closer bathroom? We both know Henry; we can figure out where he took her."

--

"I've considered it, but it's only been happening for a week or two. I... I'm just not sure it's anything, and I don't want to make too much of an issue about it."

"If you're not feeling well, though, it would be worth it to see a doctor. We all want you to be healthy."

"I suppose. Really, it... I think it might just be that time of the month. I'm not sure; it shouldn't be, but maybe that's it. The nausea and tiredness are things that aren't uncommon, even if I don't usually get them."

"Have you... I'm sorry if this is forward, but have you considered the idea that you might be pregnant?"

--

Philip takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second. When he opens them again, he looks horrified. "There's... there's a back door. Oh my god, of course he took her out the back door. There's a more private bathroom there and everything. That's where they are, but I... I can't get through that bloody room without having to talk to people. I'll be there all night before I can get to her."

"I'll get you through. I... I can cause a distraction. Is there a $75,000 cake in there?"

--

"I hadn't considered it, but I... I suppose maybe..." Martha looks worried, and Henry can all but hear her mind working. "Can I... How would I even go about getting a test; if I buy one anywhere someone will say something, and it'll be everywhere."

"One second. Bea and I... we made them put tests in every bathroom here as a sort of... I don't know, a sort of prank on Gran, I guess. It was sort of daft; I was drunk and she was ranting, and Nora thought it was funny. One second..." he rummages around in a cabinet for a minute, pulling out a few pads and tampons before he finds the pregnancy tests and holds one out for Martha. "You... you don't have to, but if you want, I could step out."

Martha's hand is shaking a bit as she nods, taking the test. Henry steps out, closing the door behind him, and he looks down the hall just in time to see Philip turn the corner, looking incredibly relieved. A moment later, Alex appears, drenched to the bone in something that smells suspiciously like champagne. Philip is ready to rush into the bathroom, but Henry convinces him to wait until they hear a flush, and when Martha opens the door a bit Philip is there to fret over her. Alex can't help but notice the similarities to Henry as Philip cups Martha's face and gets them both inside the door.

Henry smiles a bit, then turns to Alex and immediately has to hold him back to keep from getting drenched in whatever Alex is drenched in.

"Do I want to know why it took you so long, or why you're covered in champagne?"

"Well, we went the wrong way, and then Philip needed to get through the dinner without anyone stopping him, so I... caused a distraction."

"What kind of distraction?"

"Well, since there wasn't a $75,000 cake to fall into, I settled for a champagne fountain. What? Don't give me that look; it was to help your brother! I've fallen into two different expensive things for y'all; be grateful." Henry rolls his eyes, but he is grateful. At least tomorrow's tabloids will be more interested in Alex's distraction than the fact that Henry and Martha had left the party early.

On AO3

Notes: 

Nothing like a little disaster to bring people together, am I right?

Want to support the Hannah Makes Art Fund? You can tip me in ko-fi here!

[bandzrus]

Tattoos (One-Shot)

Machine Gun Kelly x Reader

Masterlist

SUMMARY // requested by @icalldibsonharrystylesandluke – “if your requests are open, would you consider doing some mgk one shots, blurbs or whatever? That would be highly appreciated”

NOTE // I’ll be honest and say writing this scared me because I’m not actually that familiar with MGK – I basically only know him because of The Dirt, so disclaimer for OOC behavior and incorrect information.

WORDS // 2314

TAGLIST // @divaanya @icalldibsonharrystylesandluke ((okay I am so sick of tumblr not wanting to let me tag people this is so stupid))

***

              You’d started dating Colson around the same time he’d gotten the call to play Tommy Lee on The Dirt, which meant you got to come along to New Orleans with him.  It was great for you; you’d always wanted to travel there and now you got to do it with your boyfriend and watch him make what you knew was going to be a killer movie. You weren’t allowed on set all the time, but it was easy to keep busy sight-seeing around New Orleans and checking things off your bucket list.  It was even better when Colson had a day off and the two of you could do things together. But whenever you were allowed you could never wipe the smile off your face.  You’d grown up on Motley Crue and now you were watching your boyfriend bring their music back to life.  It was nothing short of surreal.  One of your favourite parts though was watching the transformation from Machine Gun Kelly to Tommy Lee.  You often spent time in the makeup and costume trailer with him, and it blew your mind.  It was weird watching your boyfriend morph into one of your idols.

              You’d help him go over lines, watch him practice twirling drumsticks, and film little behind-the-scenes stuff on his phone for him.  It was kind of a weird way to spend quality time with your boyfriend, but it was a lot of fun.  The whole trip was by far the most amazing experience of your life, but if you had to pick one thing that you loved above everything else from the trip, the times you helped Colson wash the makeup that covered his tattoos off were your favourites.  

                You beamed as Colson walked off the stage set.  You’d been watching them perform Motley songs all day for a gig scene and they were honestly incredible.  With all the screaming extras, it almost felt like you were at the real thing.  You could still tell it was weird for the other guys, but performing was like second nature for your boyfriend.

              “You guys were amazing up there!” you congratulated, throwing your arms around his sweaty neck.

              “You really think so?”

              “Yes!  You look just like the real deal, and if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were a first-rate drummer!” you gushed.

              “That was the last scene we had to film today, so we can go back to the trailers if you want.”

              “Ooo what are you implying?” you teased him, pulling back to give him a cheeky grin.  He just laughed.  “I’m just teasing, I know you’re probably exhausted.”

              “I mostly just want to get this wig and makeup off,” Colson confessed, leaning down to give you a little peck on the lips.  You nodded your head.  Giving you a big smile, he grabbed your hand and the two of you bid farewell to the rest of the cast and crew.  It was getting close to dinner time and the sun was starting to sink below the horizon, painting the sky every shade of pink, purple and orange and making everything seem golden.  You looked up at Colson as the two of you walked hand in hand back to his trailer. He had that post-show glow that you’d seen well over a dozen times.  And you had to admit he looked really good in the leather pants and jacket.  Just like a rock star.

              A few more crew members were milling around the trailers when the two of you arrived, one of them being the girl who helped style all the boy’s wigs, Cassandra.

              “Hey, you’re back!” she greeted, putting down the book she’d been reading and jumping to get the door of the makeup trailer.  “Ready to get that wig off?”

              “Yes.”

              “I’ll try to be quick so you can hop in the shower and get the makeup off,” she smiled, ushering the two of you inside.  “I’m sure Y/N won’t mind helping with that.”

              You blushed a little as Cassandra winked.  Colson just laughed and plunked himself down in the makeup chair as Cassandra went to work ungluing his Tommy wig.  Pulling out your phone, you switched it to video.

              “How’d the shoot go today, babe?” you asked your boyfriend, capturing the moment.

              “Fuckin’ rocked it!”

              You laughed as he threw up the devil horns.

              “We did so fucking good we get the day off tomorrow.”

              “Really?” you squeaked, ending the recording and putting your phone down.

              “Yup, we can go to that restaurant you wanted to check out,” answered Colson. “They’re filming some other stuff tomorrow so we’re off the hook.”

              “I guess that means on break tomorrow too,” remarked Cassandra, slowly pulling the wig off Colson and placing it on the Styrofoam head on the makeup counter.  With nimble, practiced fingers she began working at his flattened hair to get it loose for washing.  You were always amazed how flat makeup and costume people could get actors’ hair underneath the wigs.  Propping yourself up on the counter, you watched her work in comfortable silence until she was finished.  Ruffling his hair to signal she was finished, she flashed you a smile.

              “All done, pal!”

              “Thanks Cas,” said Colson, getting up from the chair.  You reached for his free hand as he waved at her with the other as the two of you left the makeup trailer.  Colson’s trailer was on the other side of the lot, but you didn’t mind the walk.  The air was still warm and any alone time with your boyfriend no matter how small was always nice.  Grinning up at him, you tugged at the sleeve of his leather jacket.

              “Think you’ll get to keep some of this stuff afterwards?” you asked him.

              “Not sure, but I’m kinda growing fond of the pants,” he replied, grinning.

              “They look good on you.”

              “You sweat buckets in them but they look fuckin’ rad.”

              The two of you arrived at Colson’s trailer and you opened the door.  It would have been dark inside, except Colson had installed one of those disco-type lights that spins around and shines little circles of colour everywhere that he always left on.  Dropping your purse on one of the seats, you watched your boyfriend shrug off the leather jacket and unbutton his leather pants. Stretching, you missed seeing all his tattoos, especially the really big piece on his back.  It was your favourite.

              “It’s so weird seeing you without your tattoos,” you commented.

              “Yeah, it still weirds me out every day.”

              “Do you want to eat something or take a shower first?” you inquired, flopping down on the couch that ran under one of the trailer windows.

              “Shower.”

              “Then pizza?”

              “Yes!”

              “Sounds like a plan,” you smiled.  You watched him tug off the leather pants and toss them onto the back of a chair before sliding open the bathroom door.  The bathroom on the trailer wasn’t huge, but it did have a shower which was pretty luxury.  Leaving it open a crack, you heard him start the water and wait a minute or two for the water to get warm.  There was the usual bumping and thumping and then you couldn’t help but grin when over the sound of water you heard him humming ‘Girls, Girls, Girls’.  Relaxing on the couch, you kicked your feet up and entertained yourself by watching the lights go around and around the cabin of the trailer.  It was hypnotic and you probably stared at them for well over five minutes before you heard Colson calling for you from the bathroom.

              “Hey babe,” he called.

              “Yeah?”

              “Mind helping me get some of this shit off?  I can’t reach.”

              “Sure.”

              Sliding off the couch, you opened the door to the bathroom.  It was all steamy and warm inside, and Colson’s boxers had been discarded on the toilet seat.  You couldn’t see into the shower because the glass was all fogged up.

              “Want to just open the door and hand me the cloth?” you asked, rolling up your sleeves.

              “The water’s gonna get everywhere if I open the door.”

              “How do you want me to do this then?”

              “The shower’s not that small, get in here.”

              “Pardon?” you squeaked.

              “Get in here!  I can’t reach and I want this stuff off!” he chuckled opening the shower door just a crack to peek his head out.  “Take your damn clothes off!”

              You could feel the heat rushing to your cheeks as you shook your head at him.

              “Oh my god,” you laughed.  “Fine!”

              Your cheeks flushed darker and darker as Colson watched you pull your shirt up over your head and wriggle out of your jeans.  Standing there in your underwear, you placed your hands on your hips and looked at him.

              “I said take your clothes off,” he said, gesturing at your undergarments.

              “All of them?”

              “Yes, all of them.”

              You bit your lip.

              “Fine.”

              Undoing the clasp of your bra, you let it join Colson’s underwear on the toilet seat before you did the same with your panties.  

              “There, you happy now?” you huffed, even though there was a smile on your face.

              “Yess,” grinned Colson, pulling away from the door of the shower so you could slip in.  There was actually more room in the shower than you were expecting, and the water was nice and hot.  Colson had cleaned off a lot of the makeup, but there were still patches on his back that you could see were still covered.

              “It’s nice in here,” you remarked, letting the warm water hit your skin.

              “It’s nicer with you in here.”

              “Oh my god, you’re being so sappy today!” you chided, grabbing the washcloth from his hand.  “Turn around so I can get this makeup off.”

              Doing as he was told, you slowly started wiping off the makeup.  It was pretty heavy duty stuff, and even though he had managed to get most of it from his front, your favourite tattoo was still hidden under the stuff.  Holding his bicep with one hand, you used your other to gently uncover his tattoos. You smiled a little to yourself as you realized how much this felt like you were unearthing dinosaur bones or buried treasure.  Rubbing the cloth over his shoulders, you carefully wiped off more of the makeup.

              “Can you rinse this?  There’s a lot of this stuff,” you said, handing your boyfriend the washcloth since he was closer to the stream of water.  You leaned into his back and rested your cheek against his arm as he wrung out the cloth and handed it back to you.  

              “Thanks for doing this by the way,” he said, planting a kiss on top of your hair that was starting to get wet.  You rubbed your thumb over his as you took the washcloth back.  It was nice to spend a quiet alone moment with him after a long day, and the hot water felt really nice.  Going back to your scrubbing, you slowly uncovered more tattoos, working your way from his shoulders down his back.  He’d been in pants all day so they didn’t paint up his legs, but everything from the shoulders down to them had been.

              Finally you got to your favourite one, the Salvador Dali piece.  Wringing out the washcloth, you squeezed next to Colson to wet it again.  You smiled up at him, your chest bumping his arm.

              “I know I’ve said this before, but I love your tattoos,” you told him, tracing one of the ones on his shoulder with your index finger.  “Especially this one.”

              You started washing the makeup off the Salvador Dali, tracing bits of it with your other fingers.  Feeling Colson shudder a little under your touch, you giggled.

              “Sorry,” you apologized, uncovering more of the piece.

              “’S okay, just tickles a bit when you do that.”

              “Is that so?” you grinned devilishly, doing it again.

              “Hey, cut it out!” laughed Colson, turning around so you couldn’t tickle him anymore.  

              “You still have makeup on you!” you protested, trying to turn him back around by grabbing him by the sides of his arms.  He wouldn’t budge.

              “Don’t fuckin’ tickle me or I’m gonna start swinging!” he warned, doing fake karate moves with a huge grin on his face.  You just laughed.

              “Fine, fine, I’ll stop,” you promised, smacking him with the washcloth. “Turn around, I’m almost done.”

              Guiding him with your hands, you went back to cleaning the remaining makeup off Colson’s lower back until the whole tattoo was uncovered.  Hanging up the rag, and tracing one last teasing finger over it, you wiggled in under the water with your boyfriend.

              “You’re such a tease!” nagged Colson, referring to your tickling.

              “Yeeaaah, but you like it,” you replied cheekily, putting your head under the water and running your hands through it.  You felt his hands come to rest on your hips.  Wiping water off your forehead, you rested your arms on his shoulders and smiled before giving him a little peck on the lips.

              “That’s it?” he asked, feigning being hurt.  Shaking your head and rolling your eyes, you kissed him again, longer this time, letting your eyelids flutter closed.  Pulling you closer by your hips, Colson kissed you back.  This was hands down the best vacation ever. Colson, New Orleans, Motley Crue; it was a dream come true.  Surrounded by steam and warm water, you peppered a few more kisses on your boyfriend’s lips before you pulled back.

              “Do you still want to get pizza, or do you want to stay in here and get pruny?” you asked him, cocking an eyebrow suggestively.  The two of you were chest to chest as warm water cascaded down your back.  You watched him think about it for a second before he answered.

              “Pizza and sweats.”

              “Really?”

              “Yeah.”

              “Okay,” you smiled.  “Pizza and sweatpants it is!”

***

This took so friggin’ long to write I’m so sorry!  I kept getting distracted by TNFT.  Plus I don’t know much about MGK so I hope this doesn’t suck.  I don’t think I’ll do any more MGK requests just ‘cause I don’t feel that comfortable writing about people irl.  The Dirt characters yes - the real guys, not so much.  

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Convince Me To Go {6}

AU Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: Mild Cursing, Slow Burn, Angst

Words: 1.9k

Summary: When we run away, we’re usually running from something. This time you may have run toward it instead.

Note: Welp. 🤷🏾‍♀️  I hope you enjoy this.

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

“Ma’am?”

 You leaped to your feet as one of the nurses approached you.

 “Yes? Is he dead? Please tell me he isn’t dead. He’s dead isn’t he?”

 She gave you a bewildered look and shook her head as she pushed a clipboard to you.

 “No, I actually don’t know how he is. I just came over because when you came in he was rushed in due to the seriousness of the injury. Usually, we have everyone wait and fill out the paperwork. Unfortunately, in the chaos, the paperwork was pushed to the side.”

 “Unfortunately? Unfortunately, he needed serious medical attention? Well I’m sorry someone’s life is more important than stupid paperwork. I mean what the fuck kind of establishment is this?!” you were livid. The state of healthcare had really gone down the toilet all in the name of the bottom line—money.

“Ma’am,” she began slowly before she paused. She must have read your face and saw that you were not with the bullshit. You’d been on your feet for hours and hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours and you were in desperate need of a shower and to top it off you’d been assaulted two fucking times. You were in a bitch of a mood.

 “I know you must be under a great deal of stress seeing as your husband was just brought in with a pretty serious stab wound--.”

 “Husband?”

 “Yes, that is what you said when we tried to tell you only family could wait here.”

 It all came back to you and you sighed then rubbed your forehead. “I’m so tired.” You feigned exhaustion as you staggered back to the seat.

 “I understand. I’ll have someone bring you some water. We can worry about the paperwork later.” The nurse put the clipboard on the seat beside you and hurried away asking someone for water. You peeked out from behind your hand and sighed out in relief. The distressed woman act always worked. 

A few moments later someone else walked over to you with a cold bottle of water. You thanked them and slowly sipped it. the clipboard beside you caught your eye and you scanned it. you saw the information they needed, first and last name, date of birth, sex, address, phone number, email address, race, eye color. The only thing you knew was his sex and eye color.

 Then there was a bold line and underneath was where all the hard stuff was like insurance, employer, emergency contact, policy number and a bunch of other things you didn’t know a thing about.

 “Jesus. You really have been running around the city alone with a man you know nothing about.”

 You thought back to what you did know. He was kind, he was funny—hilarious really, smart, generous, chivalrous, and protective. He came off as an asshole in the beginning but now he came off as a really good likable asshole. You smiled at the thought, then worry sparked up.

 It had been almost an hour and still, you heard nothing about what was going on, or how he was. That was when the pacing began, you went down the hall a few feet then back where you came from and repeated it several times. Before you knew it you were being tapped on the shoulder.

 “Ma’am.” It was a different nurse this time. “Come with me.”

 She walked ahead and you slowly followed behind certain she was bringing you to the morgue. You went down the hall, made a right then a left, then she stopped and looked at you. She had a pleasant smile on her face, and you thought it was weird to smile after someone had died. As you opened your mouth to say something she motioned for you to go through the door. You took a deep breath and walked inside to see him propped up in the hospital bed with a bandage around his abdomen. To the right, you saw a bright red bloodstain through the bandage. His eyes were closed, and your heart constricted.

 “Oh my god, he’s--.” At the sound of your voice, his eyes opened, and you sighed out heavily. “Not dead.” You rushed into the room to the side of the bed and cotched at the side of the bed. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you’re fucking alive.” You threw your arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug.

 The embrace caught him off guard, but it wasn’t off-putting, it was rather nice. When your grip tightened a little too much he groaned out in pain which had you quickly pulling back.

 “I’m told I have a wife to live for. Why the hell would I dare die on her?” You smirked which turned into a full-on smile. You took a quick glance over your shoulder and leaned closer to him.

 “I had to, they were trying to make me wait in the visitor’s waiting room,” you whispered. He nodded.

 “Of course, had to pull out the big guns, the W word.” You snorted and shook your head.

 “How the hell are you joking like this? You nearly died, white prince.”

 “I told you I’d be fine. It was a flesh wound.”

 “You got lucky, while it wasn’t deep enough to be life-threatening, it was deep enough to be a serious wound.”

 A tall redhead man walked in wearing a white coat that read; “Dr. Stratenburg”. “Dr. Stratenburg.” He held his hand out for you to shake, you accepted his hand and shook it.

 “Thank you so much for helping him. I had no idea what to do.”

 “You did great, the scarf and pressure were battlefield medic 101.” You smiled and the doctor’s eyes dropped to your ripped stockings and other clothing items in disarray.

 “It’s been a long night.” He smiled and nodded.

 “I can imagine. I came in here to give you your walking papers. As you’ve expressed that you don’t want to be here, we can’t keep you and honestly, I’m confident enough that you won’t keel over and die once you walk outta here.”

 “Are you sure it’s safe? He was just shanked.”

 “Shanked? How many episodes of Orange is the New Black have you watched?” You narrowed your eyes at him as a warning.

 “I’m sure he’s safe. Plus, I am releasing him into the care of someone who clearly cares for him deeply.”

 You opened your mouth to say something but you had nothing, so you snapped it shut. The doctor spoke to him about the paperwork that still had yet to be filled out and you averted your eyes. Once he went over the proper care of the wound and the dos and don’ts he wished you both luck and left. He began filling out the paperwork and your eyes went to the wound at his side again. The man took a blade to the side for you, you thought. You wondered why. You were from New York, no one did anything for nothing. Everyone had an angle.

 You felt his eyes on you and when you looked back to his face his eyes were soft. “You okay?”

 “Yeah, I’m great. Best way to spend your time in a new city—the hospital.” He smirked and nodded.

 “I’m sorry, I know getting stabbed really has a way of bringing the fun to a stop. I should have thought better.”

 “What? No, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m so sorry if it came off like that—like I’m some insensitive bitch. I didn’t mean it that way.”

 His growing smile told you he was fucking with you. “Nice.” He nodded.

 “Relax a little. If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were really worried about me.”

 Without speaking you continued to look at him. the truth was you had been worried, and scared. You looked away from him and down to your scuffed knees. You still couldn’t believe you’d been walking around like this all night.

 “All right, that should do it. the leeches know where to bill and we can get the hell outta here.” He threw his legs over the edge of the bed and slowly stood with a grunt. You rushed over to the other side and held him up to make sure he didn’t fall.

 “Be—careful.” 

Your eyes met again, and you thought about the fact that they were bluer than you’d first thought. They looked endlessly deep as if they were illuminated and beckoning you to him, daring you to let yourself fall into him and fall for him. you were tempted, you couldn’t lie. You didn’t know why especially since it had been less than twelve hours since you knew each other. You were practically strangers.

 “Eh-em.” The sound broke you both out of the moment to look at the door where a nurse stood smiling. “All set?”

 “Yep. Those are the papers, all signed,” he informed. The nurse took the clipboard and nodded as she scanned the numerous pages.

 “All right, well, we wish you a speedy recovery, come back if anything else happens.”

 “Thank you.” She smiled and bit her bottom lip at him before she turned and walked out. You snorted and shook your head.

 “Leave it to you to get flirtatious advances in the hospital at death’s door.”

 He slowly pulled on his shirt as you took up his jacket.

 “Again, I’m picky.” You held open his jacket and he groaned as he got into it. You came before him and assisted with buttoning the four oversized buttons of the wool coat. When you got to his collar you adjusted the lapels then glanced into his eyes.

 “And she doesn’t do it for you.” His eyes scanned around your face and smiled softly.

 “Not even in the least.” You smiled and looked down a little embarrassed.

 “Look, before all of this we were going to my place. You wanted me to get you out of those clothes—.”

 “I still do, white prince.” He remained still for a few moments giving you time to change your mind, but you didn’t speak again. He nodded and held out his arm to you. You looped yours with his and a smirk spread across his face.

 As you walked down the hall of the hospital the same nurse from before smiled at the two of you. “Bye Mr. and Mrs. Evans.”

 You pinched your lips and snorted unable to contain the laugh, him, on the other hand, held it together quite well.

 “Evans?”

 “It’s my last name,” he informed. You were surprised, then mulled it over in your head.

 “Huh. You don’t look like an Evans.”

 “Well, I am. One of many.” You smiled then an idea hit you.

 “Ah, new name. White prince Evans.”

 “Oh god, since getting shanked didn’t do it, you’re really trying to put me in the grave.”

 You laughed again, happy at the annoyance you were causing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[artificialqueens]

Effects Of Heartbreak (Yvie-centric) - ImposterZoe

AN: Tw for Eating Disorder and Depression

A simple slip of the tongue and Yvie felt everything.

One of his best friends slipping away. Regret coming the form of tears that fell over and over again. His heart literally splitting in two.

Science says there are physical effects of heartbreak. He felt them too.

His head pounded more and more each time he saw Brooke in someone else's arms. It got to the point where he was sure his head was going to combust if he went out again. So he didn't.

His stomach clenched painfully as he remembered every little signal he thought Brooke dropped. By the time he was bent over a toilet bowl, puking what little he ate anymore, all he saw was how wrong he was.

What little extra weight he had melted off plus a lot more he really couldn't afford to lose. But anything that he thought of bringing to his mouth made him remember the smell of cookies and brownies and whatever the hell else a certain Canadian made for everyone to share. He wasn't hungry anyway.

He loved drag more than anything but he couldn't bring himself to move in the morning. To get up and spend the day with someone he cared about so close, knowing it'd never be real. He felt a weight on his chest as he convinced himself he could miss this one show. And maybe another. And ok maybe one more.

His phone blew up everyday with concerns from fans and friends alike. He hadn't touched it in weeks even to turn it off. There wouldn't be a message from Brooke anyway.

He laid in bed praying to every God he knew for some semblance of sleep. But Brooke's smile was plastered on his eyelids. Brooke's laugh wouldn't stop ringing in his ears. Exhaustion finally forced his eyes closed.

He feels the ghost of a familiar arm around his waist. He swears he hears soft breathing in his ear. He wakes up with tears on his face. He clicks on his tv because who needs sleep anyway?

His phone buzzes again and he risks a glance. He can't help the hope building in his chest. He can't help the scream that builds in the back of his throat when it's Nina.

But he picks up anyway because Nina's as close as he's going to get to the call he wants.

He picks up but his voice doesn't work. He only ever used it for sobbing anymore. He manages some sort of noise for a greeting.

Genuine surprise fills Nina's voice. "Yvie?"

He manages another grunt. Excitement replaces the surprise.

"Oh my God! Guys, he picked up!"

He hears someone, maybe Shuga yell, "That's not funny Nina!"

"No really look! I'll put him on speaker."

Yvie swallows hard and pushes to make his voice audible. "Hi." he calls.

There's a beat of silence then many screams went up and he knows everyone stampedes toward the phone. A million questions come through the small speaker.

He doesn't answer any, waiting for one to come clearly.

"Where have you been?!" is the first.

Yvie sighs, placing his own phone on speaker and laying down. "Busy."

A dozen scoffs are heard. A'keria's voice takes over. "Busy doing what? You haven't had a show in a month."

Yvie feels his anger rise, knowing it was stupid. "Did I fucking say I was busy with shows?" he snaps.

Nina takes over. "Woah. Calm down. Look we're in your neck of the woods and wanted to go out tonight. You in?"

Yvie was quiet for a moment. He really didn't want to go but he missed his friends. Well most of them.

"I'm in." he whispered. Everyone cheered while Nina rattled off the address. Then he felt a chill and his chest throbbed.

"Brooke, we got Yvie on the phone!" Vanjie screams.

Yvie feels the breath leave his lungs painfully. Before he could say anything Brooke's voice takes over. "Hey Yvie. How've you been?"

Yvie feels the familiar feeling of tears pricking in his eyes. "Gotta go."

He wasn't sure if he hung up in time for his sob to be missed.

He cried, rushing to the bathroom as bile rose in his throat. He didn't want to go out anymore. Not if Brooke was there.

As he flushed his mouth out in the sink, a part of him was still irrationally angry.

It's Brooke's fault! It's because of him you feel this way. He could've given it a chance! Yvie slowly lowered to his knees, his hands pressed to his ears, his fingers digging into his scalp. "He could've given us a chance," he whispered.

He shakily makes his way back to his room. He stares blankly at his bed. Should he even go out anymore?

With a sigh he went back to the bathroom. He didn't want to let his broken heart make him lose his friends. If he hadn't already.

[...]

By the time Yvie got there, everyone was just passing tipsy. They rushed to hug him and Yvie did his best to not push them off.

They all chose to ignore the bags under his eyes. The way his clothes hung off him more than usual. The way he only shook Brooke's hand then avoided his eyes.

Vanjie pressed a beer in his hand, with a smile. He forced a smile in return as everyone caught him up on their lives disappearing on the dance floor the second they were done.

Nina stayed behind, regarding Yvie curiously. "So what exactly were you busy with this whole time?"

Yvie shrugged, dropping his eyes. "I dunno. A bunch of stuff."

Before Nina could ask what "stuff" meant, Ariel and Plastique collapsed at the table with shit-eating grins.

"I swear Brooke can't go five minutes without trying to seduce someone!" Ariel screamed over the music.

Yvie glanced over his shoulder to see Brooke smiling seductively at someone. He stared for a second before calmly standing. His head started to pound.

"Where are you going?" Plastique called.

Yvie looked back at Brooke who was now dancing with his prey for the night.

He looked back at his friends. "I'm not ready for this." he whispers.

And he leaves his bewildered friends behind.

He catches a cab and he's in his bed in no time. He was tired. He was hungry. He stared at the wall, too numb to even cry.

Why did I ever open my mouth?

[About a month earlier]

"I'm in love with you."

They both froze. Yvie hadn't meant to say that. Brooke stared at him before dropping his gaze to the ground. They sat in silence for a good minute.

"Why did you say that?" Brooke whispered.

"I don't know," Yvie whispers in return. "But I meant it."

Another minute of silence.

"Can you say something?" Yvie pleaded.

He watched Brooke harden his features and he felt his stomach drop.

Finally Brooke spoke, not a single emotion distinguishable in his tone. "Yvie we can't be together."

Fighting to keep his voice steady, Yvie whispered, "Why?"

Brooke sighed. "Please don't make me do this. Let's just forget it."

Yvie's eyebrows shot up. "You want me to just forget that I'm in love with you?"

Brooke groaned. "Yvie I'm seven years older than you!"

"I don't care about your age. You always said you didn't care about mine." Yvie's eyes burn and he fights the urge to press a hand to his chest. A dull ache was growing there.

Brooke runs a hand over his face. "Yeah but I meant that friend-wise. Because that's what we are Yvie. Friends. Amazing friends but just friends."  Yvie doesn't respond.

"You hate me now right?" Brooke mumbles.

Yvie simply shook his head. "No I don't. And honestly that makes it so much worse."

"I'm sorry Yvie. I never wanted to hurt you."

A sharp crack resonates in Yvie's chest. "Ok."

Brooke lighty grabs Yvie's shoulder. "Are we gonna be ok?"

Yvie shrugs his hand off. "I don't know."

Brooke moves into his eye line. "I need you to be ok."

Yvie stares blankly back. "I don't know."

Brooke sighs. "I'm gonna go."

"Ok."

Brooke gives a sort of half grin before heading towards the door. He stops.

"I'm still your friend. I'm here if you need me."

A single tear trails down Yvie's cheek. "Ok."

Brooke leaves without another word.

Yvie immediately claps both hands to his chest, a sharp gasp escaping him.

"We could've worked." he whispered breathlessly.

"We could've worked."

[Now]

Yvie's phone buzzed somewhere around 3 A.M. He didn't even pretend he was sleeping as he looked at it.

From Brooke: I hope you're ok.

Yvie stared for a long time, not even crying. He hadn't eaten. He hadn't slept. He hadn't felt whole in so long.

To Brooke: I'm so not ok. And you know it's your fault.

[adventuresloane]

102 hurloane or danbrey?

“So you come here often?”

“Aubrey, I live here.”

She heard a small, strangled sound behind her. When she turned around, she found the new girl with a painfully wide grin and a pair of eyes that darted in every direction but hers. Her full lips, colored a neon orange that clashed with the lodge’s deep reds and dark woods, scrunched up into an “o” shape as she sucked in a breath and started to fan herself. “Old thermostats here?” she asked too loudly to be convincing. She was supposed to be a stage performer? Honestly.

“Your room’s down the hall up here,” she said once they had both reached the top of the stairs. “313, if that’s alright with you.”

“You’re not one of those hotels that skips 13, huh?”

She turned back enough to see the puff of tight, candy-red curls bobbing behind her as Aubrey followed her. “I guess after what you just saw, it won’t surprise you to know we’re not afraid of superstitions around here.”

“Heh, guess not.”

“Seems like you’re not either.” She unlocked the door before dropping the keys in Aubrey’s hand, then stepped through the threshold. Inside was the bed with the spread of earth-toned patchwork, the oil painting of a stag in autumn woods, the television that looked entirely too sleek and modern for its rustic surroundings. “Here you go. The rooms are a little small, but I think they’re comfy enough. I’m not sure what you’re used to, but–”

“Oh, much worse than this!” she answered brightly. She tried to throw her duffel onto the bed, missed, and didn’t pick it up when it banged against the nightstand. The bag had nearly as many patches as her denim vest, many of them from the places she had been, so that the pieced-together fragments could be read like a map. “Usually the places I go to are the ones where you have to shake the sheets to get the bedbugs off.”

“Ah.” Dani glanced dubiously at the luggage. “When was the last time you slept somewhere with bedbugs?”

“I haven’t been itchy lately, so not for awhile. Damn, this is a nice bed.”

Dani felt a tickle against her ankle and looked down to find the white rabbit brushing past her as he hopped into the room, having followed behind his owner. “I guess I’ll leave, uh, both of you to it.”

“Oh, um…” Having flopped, spread-eagled, onto the bed, she suddenly sat up, alert. “You don’t have to. I mean, you’re not bothering us. She’s not bothering us, is she, Dr. Harris Bonkers?” The bunny looked at her and calmly twitched his nose twice. 

Dani almost wasn’t quick enough to bite back the laugh she felt worming its way out of her suddenly. Dr. Bonkers still sat within arms reach of her, and before she could resist, she bent down to rub his forehead with two fingers. He let her. “I do actually have to go. I promised Mama I’d do some stuff around here." 

By now, Aubrey had gotten up from the bed and padded softly over to her, at least as much as one could softly pad while wearing spiked boots with inch-thick soles. She remained a poor actress–her smile wasn’t enough to belie the traces of what looked like regret in her eyes. "Alright, well, you’ll stop by later, right? Any time is good, probably. Promise me you’ll come back?”

“I don’t really do promises,” she mumbled. They set people up for disappointment, she didn’t add. 

“Oh, me neither,” Aubrey said with a quick flip of her hair. “Commitments are for plebs. No gods, no masters." 

This time, Dani couldn’t help but snort. Somehow, Aubrey’s smile looked a touch more genuine afterwards.

"But, uh, Dr. Bonkers doesn’t think so,” she continued after a moment. Carefully, she scooped up her rabbit and took hold of one of his feet, flipping the paw up and down in what looked like a wave. “Come see us again soon?”

Dani felt the bottom of her eye twitch upwards as the side of her mouth lifted into a grin. “I’ll see you around one way or another.”

“You’ve really got to stop trying to train at night,” she said, teeth gritted to keep her lips from quivering. Everything about her felt shaky, actually, as she watched the dribbling blood glint in the fluorescent light of her bathroom. It took every bit of concentration her 12:34 AM mind could muster to keep the needle steady as she stitched together Aubrey’s skin. 

“Don’t tell Mama,” Aubrey said quickly, a little pleading. “She’ll want me to go to the hospital.” She watched as the silver point stick her over and over and did not wince once. Dani wondered how much her pain tolerance had increased since she had started going on Pine Guard missions. This night would leave her with a pale scar cutting across her heart and head and life lines, one she could conceal at the center of her fist. Dani wondered what other scars she had collected that were hidden from view. 

“How did you even get a cut this deep?”

“Practicing with Sniaytch. I was trying to see if I could make it fly back to me handle-first. You know, we’re, uh, still working on it.”

Dani breathed out a small laugh, not because that was particularly funny, but because laughing was the only thing she could do. She threw another red-drenched wad of toilet paper into the wastebasket and dabbed at the wound with a fresh one. Her fingers were sticky with it now, too, clinging to the needle. This was the amount of bleeding she got just from a training accident. Maybe this was nothing compared to what could happen on hunts out in the woods. “Out of pure curiosity, are you this reckless on missions too?”

“I’m kind of this reckless at all times. Reckless is my baseline state. But hey, don’t take me for a slouch!” She took a moment to flex with her free arm. 

Dani just shook her head. Sometimes, when the abominations came through the gate, she would be too busy to spend any real amount of time at the lodge. Days would go by without her seeing the bright flash of the spikes on Aubrey’s jackets or the colorful shock of her loud makeup. She noticed it, now, when those bright sparks were not there to signal Aubrey’s presence. She didn’t want to think about what would happen if they left her life entirely.

“Hey, hey…” Aubrey put an uninjured hand on her shoulder. Leave it to her to try to be the comforting one even when her flesh was torn up. “I’m gonna be fine, alright? I promise I’ll always come back from these hunts, no matter what.”

There had been many people, in the past, who had promised never to leave her. All of them were currently on a different planet. “You can’t guarantee that. Not when the risks are as high as they are.” She sighed. “Nothing personal, Aubrey, but I still don’t really believe in promises.”

The rings in her eyebrow shifted as she furrowed her brow in concern. Then, after a moment, her face loosened into a smile. “Well, I’ll believe for both of us, okay?”

“It wasn’t you.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“It wasn’t.” Aubrey’s voice was strained, almost angry. “You didn’t kill anyone. I know you didn’t.”

Dani shuddered. Sweat pasted the cover of the book to her hands, making it cling to her. Its many eyes seemed to fix on her, scrutinizing. It might have been the lack of sleep making her vision lose focus, but she swore she saw the slit pupils move around. She felt heavy with exhaustion. Even her breath seemed like a weight in her lungs. She did not bother asking how Aubrey could possibly be so sure. 

Aubrey’s arms wrapped around her, and for half a second she wanted to shove her off, to warn her off. She might change into that beast at any time. But the warmth of the embrace began to seep into her and she couldn’t help but sink, relax the muscles that had been tense for days. She wasn’t sure if the comforting heat came from the magic or from the girl herself. There might not have been a meaningful difference between the two anyway. 

“I know you.” Aubrey’s lips moved against her shoulder, her voice muffled. “And I promise you’re better than that. I’ll believe it even if you won’t.”

When she turned towards Aubrey, the bright red curls brushed her nose. She grounded herself in the sensation. “Aubrey?” She hated the way her own voice cracked. “Do you promise you’ll come back with answers?”

“I promise I’ll do better than that. I’ll put a stop to all this.” And even in the dark of the bedroom, her orange eye seemed to glow like an ember. It might have been from the magic or it might have been from something that radiated out of her like points of light from a star, something that could only be called faith. She placed her hand over Dani’s. “You just promise you’ll come back to me too when it’s all over, okay? Promise you won’t let this ruin your life and you’ll be the person I knew before. Can you do that?”

“I can.” She wasn’t sure if she could at all. But just feeling Aubrey’s breath against her gave her hope, and that was almost like belief.

((Sdvksbvk sorry this took forever and came out kinda wack I think. But you opened my third eye to cynical!Dani and I had to try writing her.))