#my gay straight boyfriend

[fifth-dimensional-furby]

I'm pretty secrue in my relationship, so I never thought it would happen but I finally had a dream about my boyfriend cheating on me. EXCEPT HE WAS SLEEPING WITH ANOTHER MAN??

His only response was if he was cute or not.

[afterthelambs]

Shuake and Jundori are basically the same ship

List of similarities between Joker/Akechi and Junpei/Chidori:

Ship is between a chill guy and an assassin

Characters share the same persona affinity (Arsene and Loki both use curse, Hermes and Medea both use fire)

Assassin's outfit colors are mainly white and red (specifically akechi's robin hood outfit)

Assassin's persona may hurt them (Loki has call of chaos and Medea attacks Chidori)

Assassin deceives the chill guy into thinking they're normal to get info on the group he's part of

Assassin betrays and kidnaps the chill guy + separates him from his friend group because he's the leader (Junpei was lying about being the leader but Chidori believed it)

Friend group is only cordial with the assassin at best but doesn't wish harm on them

Chill guy is the only one who truly connects with the assassin

Assassin insists they dont care about the chill guy but deep down they do

While responsible for their own actions, the assassin is still being manipulated by someone close to them

Revealed that the assassin's abilities were being exploited by the families of both games' wealthy Empress Arcana (Okumura used Akechi via Shido to assassinate enemies, Kirijo group used Chidori as a child experiment)

In late November, the assassin has a 1-vs-many fight against the chill guy and his friends

After you beat the assassin, the ones manipulating them appear and reveal they're willing to discard the assassin for being weak

The manipulators threaten to shoot the chill guy instead

Assassin sacrifices themself for the chill guy during the shooting

Chill guy's greatest wish was to be with the assassin and losing them challenges their resolve to fight (Joker may or may not fold on 2/2 but Junpei gets his resolve back as part of the plot)

Toxic doomed trope

If Royal and Reload (because thats what I played):

14. Chill guy and assassin have a special attack (showtime and theurgy)

15. Assassin died permanently in the original version of the games, but they can be saved in future remakes (if you spent enough time with them and made the right choices in-game)

I think that's it? But if anyone points out more I will edit this and add them

[norgeant]

LOGAN SERGEANT WIN !!!

🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🔫🔫🔫🏈🏈🏈🍔🍔🍔

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Well, at least Fukuzawa got his wish granted, I guess.... he's finally inside Fukuchi <3

[dr-robert-chase-apologist]

i love gay ships that aren't technically canon but it takes more effort to explain why they aren't gay for each other than why they are gay for each other.

[pluviatrix]

takashi shirogane was stronger than me because if i was stuck in a spaceship with five teenagers and a middle aged uilf (uncle i'd like to fuck) and no one else for months and years on end i wouldve killed myself full stop. pour one out for the guy who suffered more than jesus because god knows that man hasn't cracked open a cold one in a WHILE

[woman-respecter]

the “are bi women with boyfriends allowed at pride?” discussion is so stupid because it is a public event. straight couples are welcome at pride, so why tf would bi women not be allowed to bring their bf. its fine. the thing is i have never seen anyone argue to the contrary, and i surround myself with certified manhaters. it kind of feels like everyone is making up a guy (or lbr in this case woman) to be mad at. or at least being mad at a small amount of people. its like saying “the moon is NOT made of cheese!” like yeah thats true but you’re wasting you’re breath on an argument with an imaginary opponent

[cowboy-caboodles]

listen… i’m not saying it’s gay but… calling a fella jackie? when their name is jack? suspicious…

[elephantshoetoo]

Doesn't this photo just perfectly sum up their whole relationship as a couple?

El - needs and relies on Mike to feel connected and worthy of love.

Mike - tolerates her existence.

[crazylittlejester]

my hot take for the day is that I trust the average straight man more than straight women who romance astarion with their twink elf male tav who’s been modded to the extreme

[unalivejournal]

EVERYONE at my job is gay this is genuinely so awesome....

[karathraces]

they're saying comp het is an excuse lesbians use to date men on twitter. truly elon's website

[fast-burn]

Lando/Max F and cheating. I wanted to say strap on because that sounds fun for those two if it takes your fancy

strongly agree, there should be a strap-on >:) and some lady-dirtbags.

kink list here

XXX

Lando can't stop playing with Max's hair. She livestreamed The Mulletting on Instagram while Lando was making circuits of the track in Spa, and Lando didn't know it had happened at all until some rando tagged her in the comments section of a clip on Twitter. It was just so short now: shorn on the sides, loose and wavy on the top and down the back, flipping up like a tiny duck tail at the nape of Max's neck. Lando runs her fingers through it, barely enough length to grab. Lando probably wouldn't be able to make even the tiniest of braids in it.

"Alright, Bob?" Max asks, gaze trained ahead where her Bowser kart obliterates the competition on the TV with a red shell.

"Just checking for greys," Lando says. She digs her toes under Max's thighs to see if that will distract her. All it earns is a swat to the arm.

It's not just Lando noticing Max's mullet. There's a mountain of thirsty comments about it online. All these girls saying mother and queen and about a million sweaty-faced emojis. Lando could tell them all it's a waste of time. Max has never once noticed any girl having a crush on her. She's got, like, straight-people tunnel vision or something. Completely oblivious.

Lando's phone buzzes. It's Jeremy again. Ugh. He's not fun anymore, like he was three weeks ago. Now that Lando's on summer break, he's gotten so clingy. wanna cover you in cream and lick it off you, he's written, then sent a picture of his tongue stuck out between his fingers, and then a second one of his hand framing his dick in his gym shorts. Lando leaves him on read and opens TikTok, flicking through F1 fancams with the volume on.

Max clears her throat. "No romantic dinner under the stars tonight?"

"Don't think so. He's gotten into all this foreplay shite lately," Lando complains. "Like, I just want to get off. Why's he got to buy me roses about it?"

Bowser flies across the finish line, P1. "You should dump him."

Lando sighs. "Zak says I've got to stay with him for at least the rest of the season. Apparently the sponsors don't like it when I look like a slag."

Max snorts a laugh, and tosses the switch controller onto the coffee table with a clatter. "Must be tough, since you are a slag."

"Hey!" Lando protests. "You're one to talk."

"Oh please. I bet you're wet right now," Max says. She reaches over and shoves her hand into Lando's sweats, lightning-quick. Her fingertips are ice-cold sliding into the seam of Lando's pussy, making Lando shriek and clench her thighs together. The tip of Max's middle finger hooks into her and then Max pulls out. "See?" She says, holding up her hand. It's glistening.

"That's not my fault! Jeremy's been sending me dirty texts all night."

Max wipes her hand clean on the couch cushion, staring at Lando. "So are you staying over, or what?"

XXX

Lando's eyes bulge when Max tugs the harness up her hips. The new dildo thick, but it's also bright yellow--neon yellow. It matches the mini-helmet on Max's desk. "Is that--"

"It's just the colour it came in," Max says primly, two spots of pink high on her cheekbones as she tightens the straps. "Don't be arrogant."

"Should we call it the Norrpenis?" Lando asks, giddy. "The Landildo?"

"We should call it shut the fuck up, mate," gripes Max. She sits on the bed between Lando's knees, and the dildo sways. It's so girthy.

Lando pulls off her shirt, suddenly hot. Her hair ends up a right mess around her face, and maybe Max was right to chop it all off. It might be easier than plaiting it for every race.

Max pulls at Lando's lacy turquoise bra. "Is this from the sponsors too?"

"If you could just wait a tick, I'll take it off," Lando complains, twisting to get at the clasps behind her back.

"Nah," Max says, pushing Lando down so her arms are pinned beneath her. "Leave it."

Lando wiggles, shoulders straining, but she's stronger than Max and gets herself free. Max's eyebrows furrow for a moment before she's yanking down Lando's sweatpants and flinging them far across the room. Then she does the same thing with Lando's fuzzy socks, pinching at the toes and tugging them off that way. Her abs clench with the effort.

"Get on with it," says Lando, reaching up to grasp Max's bangs, leveraging them to push Max's head back.

"Such a little rat," Max complains, but then she's pushing Lando's matching thong aside and guiding her dildo right in.

And, yeah, like Max said: Lando's wet. Max pushes inside like a hot knife through butter. The stretch and depth of it is so good, scratching something that Lando almost didn't recognize was itching. She whines, swiveling in the bowl of Max's hips until the angle is just right and she's full-up, plugged with it.

"Look at you," Max coos. She lets spit drop from her mouth, and then rubs the splatter on Lando's clit through the lace. Lando's hips buck, but there's nowhere to go. Max is hilted. "Cock whore."

Lando whines as Max starts to fuck her, nothing gentle about it. When Max's hair was long, the ticklish ends would trail across Lando's skin. Now Lando scratches through the short strands, tangling them in her grip, trying to pull Max closer. Trying to pull her in.

"Bet your boyfriend doesn't give it to you like this. Bet he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing," Max growls.

"It's not you," Lando assures her. "You just finally bought a dick big enough."

It has the intended effect: Max's hips stutter for a second, and then she's driving in even harder. "Oh yeah?" She says, grasping the lace and pulling the thong taut, elastic rubbing across Lando's asshole. "Then why'd you show up here dressed like this?"

"Waiting for the next best offer," Lando shrugs, as best she can with the whole bed frame rocking underneath her. "I guess you'll do."

Max's thumb moves over Lando's swollen clit, maddening circles just shy of enough pressure. It feels insane. "Pretty sure I'm the best you've ever had, sweetheart."

"Nuh-uh."

"I think you wanted me to fuck you so good you can never be satisfied anywhere else," Max says. "Hop from dick to dick all you like, but I'm the only one who makes you come like this."

"Come like what? I'm not even close." Lando slurs, brain surely leaking out of her ears.

Max slams in deep and holds. "Liar," she says, and pinches Lando's clit.

Lando is right on the edge, so fast. "Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Max, c'mon, please," Lando gasps. The muscles in her legs are twitching like crazy, toes curling, stomach shaking.

"Please what?"

"Don't be such a bitch, come on."

"Say it for me."

"You're good. You're so good."

"Just good?"

Lando tugs Max's hair. She touches Max's face. "You're all I want. Please, Max. Please make me come."

"Dunno," Max says, pursing her lips, eyes dancing. She squeezes Lando's clit harder. "Maybe I should make you go find whats-his-name. He can try and stick his cock in you and feel how loose I've made you."

"Max," Lando pleads. She thinks she's crying, trying so hard to clench around the dildo and get herself there.

"Okay, you've whined enough." Max lets go of Lando's clit and reaches under her pillow to pull out a bullet vibrator. "What are best friends for, right?" She presses the on-button until it's at full strength, then holds it at the ready, slamming into Lando again and building up a rhythm that has Lando moaning. She brings it closer, closer, closer, the air itself buzzing, and then finally, finally, holds it to Lando's clit and makes her come.

Lando isn't sure if she's screaming Max's name, or just mad sounds, as her pussy clenches and clenches until it cramps, delicious tingling electricity sparking through her body from her tongue to the arches of her feet. And of course--of course it's better with Max than anyone else. Of course Lando came over with lingerie hidden under her clothes with the hopes that Max would find it and fuck her. But Max is the one who bought a dildo just because she knew Lando would fall to pieces on it. Max has a fiancé.

Max looks far too smug when she pulls out. "Think you left me a little puddle, mate, cheers," she says, gesturing as if Lando hasn't made her actually squirt multiple times.

It just won't do.

If there's anything Lando knows, it's how to push through her exhaustion, right to the end.

"Your turn," Lando says, and tackles Max onto her back. She knows just where to yank at Max's harness to tug it loose, and then she can push up under the base of the neon yellow dildo and slide her tongue into Max's cunt--which is sopping wet, thanks. "Let me know if it's too much," she murmurs, the taste of Max slippery and salty in her mouth. She swallows it down, thirsty for it like all those Max-fangirls. "I like it when you scream for me."

[mxtwister]

Yes I know they're all bisexual but just for fun <3

Flags are colour-picked from the cover art!

[helgethas]

soooooo guess what i learned about myself today

[aleixis]

no wuh luh wuh...? we lost another one girls