#my friends dont rlly care- i mean they barely care if i go missing for a dew days--- :)

[justcallmesakira]

bro how do yalll talk abt your problems with others??? esp when ur sick- i mean i guess for its bcs no one bats an eyelash on me when i am on the verge of being breathless-- :3

[bikerboyfriend]

pls share ur opinion on why pjotv sucks 👁️ and if there are any redeeming things to it, full review <3

FRIEND <3. Alright so...manee. maneee. Where do we start. I wont say everyth i didnt like i'll j focus on ep 1 & 2

i wanna say 1st and foremost that i knew they were gonna change stuff and i didnt mind however:

the first two. well. three episodes were too rushed. they didn't lay down any foundation, they didnt expand on anything it was just as if they were rushing you along and cutting out any...depth that adds to percy's character

i.e. miss dodds fight is like 0.2 seconds long and she practically falls on his sword + sally and percy barely speak like...about not the plot? if u get me? no speak of montauk in detail, no talk of sally's day really iirc...just.....Lines from the Script

and a lot of the show is just Lines from a Script rather than a believable show

smelly gabe is no longer abusive and is just...mildly annoying? maybe a bit of an asshole? sally even yells at him -- and i get it, but because of the lack of time spent at home + percy's home being damn near PRISTINE + THEY DONT EVEN GO INTO HIS ROOM, there's ZERO like. depth added to percy's character from his home life. i wouldn't mind them changing him if they like....branched it out but they just removed it and did nothing

dionysus, i personally found weird bc i perceive him to be like. ...he just acts like he doesn't care and is pretty much an asshole to percy, but he's still a God, y'know. they didn't do this at all in my opinion...he was weirdly tense the entire time. i just dont like him 😭

percy's claiming scene was 0.1 seconds long, underwhelming and rushed

they made clarisse like...? clarisse is a bully sure, but her reason for being mean to percy is because she provoked him & didn't expect him to talk back--and percy said some snarky shit in the books lmao. in the tv show they like...she doesnt believe he beat the minotaur. Which...i mean...ok

ANYW if i dont stop here i'll go on forever. but what i DID like

they gave grover more depth (i didnt like some things but for the most part, i just like that they tried)

the set design was beautiful

poseidon's claiming....symbol (yk the trident) looked good

casting for the most part is rlly good

but yeah. also keep in mind im like. Austistic. abt pjo. like its a special interest. so i'm way more....picky than i guess most normal fans would be abt shit 😭. but ya!!!

[brothalynchhung]

2023 overview part 2

since when was there a text limit?

anywho lolla was so much even if i was alone

chicago food slapped the city was so much fun and yeah just enjoy being in america

the record stores 🫡

that kokoroko story omg the fact that i went to the same places as new jeans just a few days apart 😭 but still that store was my 80s dreams

BUT YEAH I SAW NEW JEANS AND TXT LIVE

JID RHCP DESTROY LONELY A BOOGIE BAEBADOOBEE KENDRICK AGAIN

so much fun honestly the vibes of an american music festival r unmatched

loved summer so much

then i went back to toronto and just waited for the torment to be over cuz i just wanted to get the fuck out of there

seriously chilling w that bitch nd her weird ass bf was hell

literally toronto was the worst place i went to this year.. lol

anyways its over and never happening again

now i know forsure im never going back i HAVE to make it somewhere else

ANYWAYS i left canada then came back around sept and had to deal w moving out

left my old isolated place

gunna miss that view tho lol and my old gym / salon but othat than thaat... BYE

then moved in w nada which is going okay i guess whatever

im in a weird limbo state in my life rn -_- after an amazing few months of travelling idk what the hell going on

i quickly got a job LOL ofc but i kinda got into it/entered it not rlly knowing what the fawk was happening in my life like uh yeah i guess okay lets just do this cuz i need to sell my furniture and put it somewhere and i need a visa

legit its just for the visa until i figure out where i wanna go -_- bUTTT

i havent had much time to even think about that or my future cuz...

of that stupid ass discord. .. group -_-

look its not even the group idc about them like yeah nice weirdos woo whatelse is new

but that stupid ass day i decided to go to the korean restaurant.. -_-

like i was doing so well man but then my eyes set on fire

im still figuring it out but whatever idk

like work was good tbh it doesnt even FEEL like work cuz yeah tbh after that hell job i just dont care about labor anymore like nah im NEVER putting my whole pussy into a job ever again im putting myself first always now so this current job just doing feel like shit

actually its kinda helping me get my mind off this bitch

idk man i met that bitch and now i cant stop thinking about him

blah blah typically me shit i obsess over someone and daydream crazy about them idk

hes cute tho ig i think hes better than all those other bitches i been w

OH ANOTHER THING THO I FINALLY BROKE MY 2 ALMOST 3 YEAR SPELL

thank god 😩

i mean it didnt go the way i would have wanted to..

i move too fast -_- and i think that was the problem

but after that spell broke i thought i would be done w it but nope

im crazy and started to get depressed

idk what i want or if im just using this bitch as a distraction from work/figuring out life

idk what i want bc obv this bitch isint anything special hes just kinda cute? but whatever HES NOT GL

so many red flags but im acting like a bull

brrr whatever the biggest this is just selling that fucking ass furniture

anyways the whole end of this year was just the new job, this bitch and me going crazy

the new job is fun the ppl are nice the client is annoying but its manageable thank god we got wfh but yeah even in office isint bad the ppl r nice which is the best part

the partying.. lol girl -_- i need to slow it down i cant keep on getting lit BECAUSE HONESTLY whats ruining me is the drinking

maybe if that bitch didnt exist in my life i would be fine and have control but jeesuss its like im trying to forget my current situation through him then try to forget him through partying and bullshit -________-

god please send me gl .. or whatever

or maybe i just need to act normal and stop being fucking crazy over a bitch i barely know that will do nothing for me and go back to focusing on getting shit done and FORWARD with my life

yeah -_-

anyways end of the year partying wooo work friends woo this weird discord chat group wooo delusions wooo

gym movies books learning japanese learning music theory (which i rlly need to get back to...) videos skateboarding art basically always encompasses my years

i just need to put myself out there more idk i need to get out of my head and start to do more

which is were im at perfectly idk why i had to go so crazy from oct-dec but whatever i think its over now

i cant suffer forever

anyways this was a long ass busy crazy year with so much travel beginnings and endings moving cutting off and meeting new people... im so so so grateful despite the emotional breakdowns and work stress and this bitch stress im sooo happy i think this was such a fun year and yeah we need ups and downs..

pluto in aquarius eh? so shit about to get crazier... nice -_-

i just want to make videos do my website idk FIGURE OUT WHERE I WANT TO LIVE sell my furniture and yeah ofc read read read movies movies movies be HEALTHY create more and realign my brain w my goals after this dumb bitch entered my life ugh (im doing it to myself fr) anddd idk what else make friends that are like me and MOVE FORWARD

remember self CONTINUE!! CONTINUE!!!

see u next year and hey future self if ur reading this i love you u can do it U SURVIVED THIS YEAR U CAN DO IT

[n1k1tty]

keep it on the down low - nishimura riki

╰─ ever since you were selected as riki’s next partner for his upcoming dance collab, you may or may not have developed feelings for each other. but despite their companies not really supporting dating in their idol's careers, both riki and y/n tried to keep it on the down low. key word: tried

pairings: idol! riki x idol! reader

genre: fluff

It was around 2 am in the morning when you and Riki decided to stay for a little bit more to finish up the first part of the song.

"1 2 3 4, 5 6 7 8" Riki counts as you both move in sync, he smiles at your worn out figure laying down on the ground "tired? we can wrap this up if you want to"

He sits down next to you, handing you his cup of cold water. Your mind secretly going on frantic over his little gesture "Let's just finish this last part and i'm heading home- unless you're tired too-" you sip the water, sitting up.

"-Nah, nah i'm not tired yet" He shakes his head. crap, did that sound too desperate? Riki asks himself, trying his best to not make it seem like he was avoiding your gaze

"Alright then, 2:30 we'll leave" You say, walking towards the table as you place the cup. Riki seriously didn't know how calm and collected you were especially with just the two of you alone, together. No managers, no members, nada.

You start playing the music, feeling yourself getting more exhausted each minute that passed by. Sloppily moving your body with the rhythm. Of course that didn't go unnoticed by Riki.

As the song ended, you both face each other. It was a part of the dance, but your face being barely an inch from Riki's wasn't. You both froze, not knowing what to do. Well, facing a different way was another solution, but neither of you wanted to do that, let's be honest.

At this moment, Riki didn't give a shit.

He grabbed you by the waist, faces inching closer by the second. But before your lips could touch—

“This one is for the boys with the boomin syst— Riki? Y/n?” Heeseung takes a second to blink, eyes refusing to see what he was seeing “I uh, I gotta go. My manager is asking if i’m at home. See you Riki, Bye Heeseung” You hurriedly pack your things, face red from embarrassment and the thought of you and Riki almost kissing.

“Hyung— I can explain—“ Riki walks towards him, trying to grab his hand “—Riki calm down, I wont tell” Heeseung chuckles, patting Riki’s bag “If you don’t know where my airpods are, then go walk her home. She’s not supposed to be out at this hour alone. I’ll take your stuff back to the dorm aight?”

“Oh gosh” you groaned, dragging your feet as you rethink what had happened “What should I do?” You pull your hair.

Just as you were about to turn to the corner you hear him call your name ‘No Riki! This is not the time!’ you panicked, but just before you could act as if you didn’t hear him, he taps you by the shoulder “Riki, just what the hell are you thinking chasing me right at this hour!?” You whisper-yell at him “I was just worried about you walking home at 3 am. Your company sucks for not getting you a driver”

“No I told them I could walk home” You chuckle, in Riki’s eyes you seemed so bothered. Noticing the way you dragged your feet and messy hair “Everything okay?” He asked, facing you

“Riki we’re doomed! Heeseung knows, and maybe dispatch is somewhere out there already taking pictures of us at this mome—”

He giggles “So what?” You gasp, mouth open. You seriously couldn’t believe this kid.

“So what?! Ugh, why do I even put up with you” facepalming as you groan

“Heeseung hyung said he wouldn’t tell, and I don’t care about dispatch, engenes know how close we are and does your fans. They’ll think this is a friendly gesture” Riki reassures you as he looked at the stars, finding peace within your presence.

“So don’t worry okay? Everything will be alright. And if they ever suspect anything, I’ll try to find a way to get us out of it” He stops by your doorstep “Well, this is your dorm, good night y/n—”

Without a thought running through your mind, you pecked Riki Nishimura. Immediately trying to unlock the door “Good night Riki” You smile, squealing once you closed it “I saw that” Ningning smirks. There goes your money.

—

It was the following week after your collaboration with Riki was released and so far everything was going great. Both your fans really liked the content you both made, appreciating your talents and especially loved your ‘friendship’

Riki was right, everything was going to be alright. No dispatch and no suspicions from the fans and both companies.

And ever since that night, you and Riki had decided to make it official. Both agreeing to keep it a secret for now until you were both ready.

Thankfully the fans recognized the playful personalities and cherished your friendship, making videos like “Y/n and Riki being chaotic in their (collab) behind” and “Riki and Y/n being the best friends everyone would want” Of course, your companies noticed the sudden increase of popularity for both groups and proposed an idea of having each other in shows, and other things that could possibly make you interact more. Almost immediately, you both were very supportive of the idea and agreed to do more shows.

—

You guys had an episode to go to the beach with the other Enhypen members. As you were filming the things that you were packing, Riki knocks on your door “Oh? Riki came~” you cooed, smiling at the sight of his head peaking through the door “Y/n! You’re packing more than necessary” He laughs, looking at the big pile of folded clothes.

After a few minutes, you decided to stop filming. Immediately throwing yourself into Riki’s arms “Are you excited?” you asked, rubbing circles on his back “not really— I mean yeah i kinda am but what if the other members—”

He pouts at the sound of you laughing “No ones gonna steal me Nishimura Riki. If that’s what you’re worried about” you squished his cheeks

“Now help me pick which swim suit I should wear”

“Okay :D” He gladly says, sitting patiently as you start gathering the options.

So far, filming with enhypen was fun, you got to play games in the pool, grill meat, answering mini interviews the other members held, you enjoyed it all.

Of course the trip wouldn’t be complete without you and Riki flirting with each other once in a while. Which caught both your fans attention, posting overly suspicious interactions between you and Riki. Leaving comments like “act surprised when they reveal that they’re dating” and “OKAY CAN WE TALK ABOUT: Y/n casually wrapping her arms around Riki’s neck while just staring at each other in today’s behind” all around twitter.

Jungwon being active on all social media platforms didn’t help either, resulting to him realizing that you and Riki were more than just friends. Soon enough the other members figure it out as well, silently sitting back and enjoying you both so oblivious towards the fact that everyone knew.

Meanwhile, you and Riki thought you were doing an excellent job at keeping it a secret. While resting on the same bed watching a movie, your manager barges in, shoving the phone into both your faces “Nishimura Riki, care to explain?”

A screenshot of Dispatch tweeting about your guy’s relationship is trending on twitter, following a few screenshots of fans posting about your relationship.

Your heart drops

His manager chuckled, “I already knew. Just came to tell you CEO Bang supports it and would like to have a meeting about confirming it”

Long story short, you both did agree to publicize your relationship and was extremely happy to hear that the fans supported you both

yall, i dont rlly like how i wrote this :( but i rlly missed posting so…. I SWEAR ILL MAKE BETTER ONES. i just need to find my motivation to do so :)

[thinslxx]

Rant lol

Tw for mental health issues in general

Been thinking about my friendships lately. And aside from the fact I consider a lot of people "friends" but in reality I don't talk to anyone. The only person I actively interact with everyday is my gf. Me and my best friend are SUUUPER close but we don't text much since we prefer seeing eachother in person. And the other friend, welp she is rlly nice and kind, I met her through my gf. Stil we don't talk unless she needs some advice which I'm fine with completely. But when none of them are active I just dont..speak ? to anyone. Despite being the class president I don't have much of a connection with my class. It's weird ig, they see me as a figure or responsibility (lmao) so they have picked me to be the class president for 3 years in a row. Which is cool great, but I have a hard time actuALLY interacting with them. I do have a small group of ppl I hang out with at school but most of the time I'm left alone or well left out. I even stopped responding to my name (deadname but I still have to respond to it at school) cuz I know no one is calling me, they are calling the other girl in my class with the same name. I just stopped turning around after enough times where someone called out my name but they meant the other one. I have also become really quiet, before I came up to people and initiated a convo..now I'm just at my desk drawing reading or on my phone. Also I have definitely noticed a shift in my behaviour when it comes participation in class. Before I was the bitch that would raise my hand before the teacher even finnished their question. Now I'm barely raising my hand or even listening to the professors. It's weird how much I changed cuz of everything that happened in the last year. Damn everything from completely destorying the relationship with my parents, anxiety and OCD therapies, forcefully coming out as bi to my parents, almost getting disowned etc. Sigh smh really this was THE year. I'm surprised I haven't killed myself like I'm in awe rn. impressive.💅 Honestly it's so fucked up that the only thing I hold comfort in is self destruction and my gf. But since she moved away I don't really have that either. I miss her so bad. I just want to hug her and hold her so she doesn't leave. Lmao messed up much ? I don't mean it in a possessive way🙄 I mean it in a please don't go way. But life is life Ig. All I can do now is lose weight and starve so i can be skinny and beautiful for real when she sees me again. My mum took a pic of me and my sister yesterday and I felt like ✨ throwing up ✨ when I saw myself. Disgusting. Not to mention we be celebrating 6 years of disordered eating 🎉🎉 I haven't had a normal eating day since I was 12 years old u know like a mentally ill motherfucker.

Welp this was a while bunch of thoughts. Stay safe guys please take care od yourselves the best u can ! I'm here if someone needs to rant/talk about anything, DMS always open as u can see I need friends as well💃💃

[sinnergetreadymp3]

CHAMERON FIC CHAMERON FIC CHAMERON FIC

Uhhhhh I feel like I should give this a title but I have no idea what to call so uh, nevermind !!

Anyways,I finally finished the fic I said I was writing like,a month ago lol. All my Chameron stans out there this one's for u,I rlly hope at least one person enjoys this,I rlly enjoyed writing it !! Ok sappy stuff outta the way,here it is:

As rain pounded against the window Charlie sent what was probably the thousandth crumpled ball of paper across the room.

"Jesus Charlie,is your arm not getting tired?"

Charlie smirked at that, clearly preparing to make a dirty minded joke,but a thoroughly exhausted Richard Cameron was already one step ahead.

"You know what,forget I asked, you're gross."

Getting up from the seat at his desk and ignoring an indignant retort from Charlie, Cameron thought of the rest of his friends,out for the weekend. Todd and Neil celebrating their one year anniversary, Meeks and Pitts embarking on a two day road trip,for what they still claimed to be, entirely platonic reasons (although the rest of the poets were all too aware of the almost palpable romantic tension between them). Even Knox had found something to do with himself on this miserable Friday night.

And here Cameron was,stuck in his dorm with nothing but stacks of extra homework and his obnoxious roommate to keep him company.

Speaking of that obnoxious roommate, "Oh come on Cam,you're not seriously going to bed already,it's barely eight!"

"Shut up Dalton,I'm tired."

Refusing to admit defeat, Charlie sprung from his own bed into Cameron's, attempting to wrestle the poor boy from his comfortable position.

"Charlie,get off you psycho!" Cameron managed to get out, already laughter threatening to give away just how welcome his friend's childish antics were.

After a few more minutes of "fooling around" as Charlie insisted on calling it (mostly because of how profusely it made Cameron blush),the two boys lay breathless beside each other,trying desperately to think of something else to do that would ward off impending boredom.

After a few moments of comfortable silence,Charlie suggested,looking expectantly towards the ginger, "Wanna go to the cave?"

With extreme,mind numbing boredom as motivation, it was inevitable that Cameron would say yes. It certainly helped that Charlie was gazing at him with those oh-so convincing doe eyes of his. Charlie Dalton and his stupid,gorgeous eyes. And his stupid,gorgeous smile,which Cameron was abso definitely not thinking about as he got up and grabbed his coat.

The two boys trudged through the woods,bickering lightly when Cameron complained of the cold that Charlie apparently couldnt feel at all,but always with an unusually friendly air between them. Before long they were sat together in the middle of the cave,sharing an apple that Cameron had managed to salvage from somewhere (a feat Dalton was of course impressed by),and trading stories of girls and parties galore. In Cameron's case, the stories of girls were few and the parties were from years long before even middle school,so Charlie did most of the talking.

After a while though,the boys came to discussing their friends,and the luck they all seemed to have in finding each other so easily. Charlie, ever the romantic,made no waste of his extensive vocabulary,tediously lamenting on all the opportunities of love he had missed and the everlasting loneliness he was doomed to,all because his dashing knight in shining armour would never come to find him and-

"Why dont *you* just find somebody?"

Charlie,still sprawled dramatically over a rock ,and mildly offended at the interruption,indignantly questioned "What do you mean?"

"What I said? You dont just have to wait around for somebody to come find you and fall madly in love. Why don't *you* just find somebody?"

He thought for a moment,taken aback by the ginger's harsh words,but eventually decided to humout him for a moment.

"And where exactly do you suggest I find him then, hm?"

Cameron shifted in his seat,not expecting to be taken seriously and certainly not prepared to be giving advice. Especially not *this* kind of advice. Especially not to *charlie*.

"Well,uh," he looked up to see the other boy looking at him expectantly,with that ever-present smirk on his face that, oddly enough,made Cameron feel a little more comfortable.

"Maybe,you could,I don't know, consider that the guy you're looking for has been here the whole time?"

"Wow Cam,Pittsie and Meeks' radio must've really gotten to you. All those love songs have turned you into a big softie." Charlie joked,grinning and nudging Cameron playfully.

Through a soft laugh,Cameron continued, "No I'm serious man,I think you're making this whole love thing way harder for yourself. I mean- and be honest with me, what's actually wrong with the guys at our school?"

"Other than the fact that about three quarters of them are raging heterosexuals?"

Laughing again,Cameron replied "yeah,other than that."

After about zero seconds of careful consideration,he had come to a conclusion, "Well,I guess nothing,but I dont know? Cameron, I don't see how this changes-"

"It *changes* things because clearly you don't anything about half the guys at our school. And you can't write off people you don't even know." At some point, Cameron had gotten up and started pacing around,but with the end of this triumphant speech,he finally sat down,a little closer to the other boy than he had been before.

Charlie looked across at Cameron and was suddenly met with a wave of fondness. Weird,how all it took was to sit and talk for a while before someone you thought you near hated,started to feel like your favorite person in the world. And,was he going completely crazy or Cameron at his most comfortable, without the fear of a teacher lurking nearby,without the stress of constantly trying to prove himself,was he... A little..... attractive??

All at once,Charlie made a decision,partly to try and prove himself wrong,but also because hey,if Richard Cameron was the surprise love of his life,what better time to figure it out than right now?

"So how,sir Richard Cameron,do you propose I get to know all these charming suitors?"

Cameron, completely in the dark about Dalton's recent epiphany,was still stubbornly trying to explain how much easier Charlie's love life could be,if only he would let it.

"Well,maybe by actually talking to them? Y'know,kind of like,What we're doing right now."

"So,what you're saying is,*you* could be my knight in shining armor," he said with a smirk.

"Well,that's not what-"

"No,no it's fine,as long as we're talking about this version of you. Regular Cameron is kind of a buzzkill but Cave Cam is actually a kind of.... And I can't believe I'm saying this but,in here,like this...well. You're actually a little hot."

After this, overwhelmingly romantic confession, Charlie was certain he had completely stuffed it,and sure enough,

"Gee Charlie,thanks. Really makes me wanna ride into the sunset with you." To say Cam's ego had been hit was an understatement,but before he could make a swift exit from the cave and lock himself,alone,in his dorm for the rest of the weekend,of course Dalton kept talking.

"God,I'm sorry,that was, I have no idea why I said that. I thought I was being funny but out loud- god I'm so sorry," while he had initially been mad,seeing Charlie fucking Dalton blush (and because of *him* no less) was rather funny. And sure,a little cute. So Cameron decided to hear him out.

"Can I start over? You're not saying anything so I'm gonna start over. I,uh, I really do think you're hot. Like really hot. And not just right now,all the time,like that time we were at rowing practice and I started pushing you around and we ended up on the floor and I saw like,a single sliver of skin because your sweater had ridden up,and I couldn't stop thinking about it all day,which I thought was a little weird but then-"

"Uh,I think I get it,Charlie." Now Cameron was the one blushing.

"Uh,sorry. What I meant was,that I *do* think you're hot l-"

"As you've said"

"Yeah,yeah,but it's more than that. Like,when I realized we'd basically be spending the whole weekend alone together,I was actually sorta excited for that,even though I knew I'd just be sitting by you while you did homework the whole time,I like,wanted to do that. And tonight,I haven't talked like this with anyone who isn't Neil like,ever. What I mean is,I guess,is that,I think that uh,"

Deciding to lighten the mood,Cameron tried for a little sarcasm, "Wow,Dalton, stuttering? I must be superman or something."

"I'm trying to be romantic here Carrot top," Charlie said with a grin,

"Listen,I don't really know what I'm doing here,but I think it might be kinda nice if we tried having a little romantic weekend of our own. Just to try it. If it totally sucks we can pretend it never happened and the others don't have to know about it and-"

"Charlie."

"Yeah?"

"Relax," Cameron said with yet another laugh ,he didn't think he laughed like this since... Well,he couldn't even remember.

So with a radiant smile on his face,he said,"A romantic weekend of our own sounds amazing. Gotta warn you tho I'm not a great kisser."

"Well, lucky for you I am a great teacher," Charlie replied,with a somehow even bigger smile on his face than Cameron's,

"Why are you laughing,I *am* a great teacher!" Unfortunately for Charlie,his indignance only made Cameron laugh harder.

"I'll believe that when I see it."

"If you shut up and stop laughing,maybe you'll get to." After this was all it took to get the ginger to sober up, the look on his face pushed Charlie to make his final,but (in his opinion) most important decision of the night.It was high time he flirt with Cameron way more often (which was *very* difficult to explain to the other poets,at least the first time).

[honeybeekao]

the moment i saw you said you liked talking about theatre my first thought was "ask dino to talk about theatre" so

talk about it!!! i wanna hear <3 i know basically nothing but pls. talk about something you love!!!!

hmnjdhjdhd WAAA youre so sweet

okay OKAY so i was in 4 musicals (+1 in middle school but that one barely counts.. i miss it tho) and they were All so fucking cool ! i really wanted to be an actor for like 4 years that was my passion for awhiiile

i got to be in ensemble for newsies and oh my GOD newsies is like the best musical ever i adore it. broadway musical i could watch over and over and over the music gets stuck in my head easily AND OKAY SO. my gender was rlly difficult for me freshman year, but being able to dress up as a boy for that show felt really validating. and just the way the script Is... accidental gender affirmation everytime us as a group got refered to as boys despite the all gender cast. this was also during my "i wear flannels for gender euphoria" moment of my life so my newsies outfit was just...clothes i already wore plus a vest and hat HDKDGDKD

then we did into the woods and.... my god. okay so i dont think i ever got all the lyrics right for the amount of songs with the same melody but Different words... but thats okay. i got to play one of cinderella's stepsisters THE FUCKING DRESS FOR THAT SHOW WAS SO PRETTY only time ive gotten to wear a real princess dress <33 HORRIBLE TO DANCE IN THOUGH. i almost tripped and fell every show (which wouldve been funny i was evil sooo i mean. i shouldve)

then. then we did les miserables and . that musical is hell to work on it's a fucking opera and it's So emotionally taxing but SO good. like i had the time of my life but i barely slept. best show ever best show ever. i played gavroche (an 8 year old boy who just lives on his own.... and joins the revolution) and i successfully made people cry! i really really hope my mom can find the camcorder her bf used to record the whole show because.. i think i'd cry if i got to watch it as audience. the music is terrifying to learn i sung in soprano (for reference on how difficult it is, check the song one day more. the chorus sections are insane)

i also tripped in the audience during a full solo and my ONLY concern at the time was "please let my mic not be broken Please let my mic not be broken." i cried backstage for like 5 minutes after bc of the adrenaline. THEN I HAD TO GO ONSTAGE AGAIN ALONE so i couldnt cry long GDKSHDJ

les mis is like my best life experience that show means everything to me i miss it so much..it went by too fast

the last show i was in was called urinetown (sounds weird but it's a satirical comedy about how capitalism will kill off all of humanity it's fun) and the dancing for it was the most difficult thing ive ever had to learn!

the music is also like. Yikes i was struggling probably just as much as les mis because i switched to alto (i attempted soprano for it but it Hurt me. so i switched. and harmonies are a pain but i got em eventually) i had more lines in this show than les mis but i didnt really care much for my character?? it was similar to newsies except i had some one off lines because comedies with a group of characters are like that. gfjdhdj THE DANCING. we had 2 choreographers helping us, and i hated it so much <3 i hate learning choreo in dimly lit rooms because i Cant see anything. i needed to take videos and learn on my own and had like 1 friend who could kinda help but it was still like aushajha Why

WE DIDNT GET TO PERFORM THAT SHOW. our opening night was march 13th 2020 so . we just had to fucking mourn everything. but i mean the experience was still great and theatre was my escape. idk what i would've done without it, the theatre kept me focused on things i enjoyed and meant i wasnt just wallowing

tysm for asking i love theatre and musicals and i think everyone should watch newsies

[gloride]

im so sad :( im going to miss my friends .. i wont be able to see them for a week besides like isaiah and gabby twice and who knows what else will happen D:

no way i can see jovon and we just starting to interact more casually in school :( he seems to have warmed up to me well.. no idea about leo either which sucksss i had to stare at him alot today to make up for this next week.

i dont know if i like him, im just really drawn to him and his face and also just talking to him yk idk

same for jovon honestly

not like i have a chance with either of them but theyve both complimented me and me and leo have a odd relationship so ill take it

im happy kind of

i feel bad for paying too much attention to them. i dont want gabby to think i dont care about her as much now that i have friends

i mean me and paoliris only talk once a day same for tommy usually :/ i adore them though yk

and im fond of isaiah but honestly he barely acknowledges me outside of 3rd pd

sometimes he does but it feels like he doesnt see me as an actually important friend yk. like after i helped him out with that girl i dont serve much of a purpose. we only rlly started talking more because of her and me becoming friends with jovon soo :/ idk. he had my present out though and shit, hes sweet even tho he ignores me and that made me happy at least. im trying not to bother him yk, not like he cares to seek me out much .

i barely talk to saturn or neil now too it sucks but at least im distracted. im taking what i can handle .

[hufflautia]

hI this is a tOTALLY ANONYMOUS PERSON ASKING. and i am asking u to answer everything on here😌

lmajfniasnf yall i forced menna to send me this ask and i was kinda kidding but also a bit serious but also kinda kidding- ok anwyas here we go 

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed? closed 

(2) Do You Have Freckles? no 

(3) Can You Whistle? yes

(4) Last Song You Listened To. “Needed Me” by Rihanna

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour? grayish green

(6) Relationship Status. in love with loki<3! 

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now? cold, my fingers are cold and menna knows this 

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky? no i did not, quite the opposite actually! 

(9) How Many Followers? around 650 

(10) Zodiac Sign. taurus

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour? brown

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily? yea

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower? usually 

(14) What Books Are You Reading? no book bc i have no brain cells 

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14. 

“i cannot imagine,” replied the scarecrow; “but we can go and see.” -the wonderful wizard of oz! i forgot i had that book, i got it from library for school last year but then quarantine hit and i couldn't return it bc the library closed 

(16) Favourite Anime? i barely watch anime, so i guess “Attack on Titans”, being that its one of the few animes I've watched

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of? my math teacher 

(18) Do You Collect Anything? only the souls of the innocent. also chapstick. 

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch? wontons that fucked my stomach up bc the meat was not cooked properly :D don't we love that?????????????!!!!!!

(20) Do You Dance In The Car? not rlly 

(21) Favourite Animal? dog 

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics? no 

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed? usually 11 or 12- depends on day

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now? no 

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean? pool 

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog? clandestineloki

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water? i don't care as long as its safe

(28) What Makes You Happy? my siblings, my best friends, loki, tom hiddleston

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

i saw this and thought it was a good fit but then i realized it was too calm so

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? without

(31) Dogs Or Cats? DOGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? yellow 

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox. i don't care

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean? I've never swam in a lake before, so lake

(35) Do You Believe In Magic? yea

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing? gray

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue? no 

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It? depends

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You? yes 

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now? of course, loki will always be an obsession of mine bruh 

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly? nO BC IM SCARED OF BUTTERFLIES 

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People? yes:’( 

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams? of course

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes? yes 

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry. ParaNorman

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds? sunflower seeds

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be? the neighbourhood

(48) Are You A Picky Eater? kinda 

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper? eh 

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning? kinda 

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write? yes 

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud? depends on mood

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents? wrap 

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up? sleepy hallow ft foushee- deep end freestyle 

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather) winter?? 

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now? l o k i (my original answer was warmth but its basically the same thing) 

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed. 

(58) What Is Your Gender? female

(59) Coffee Or Tea? tea

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About? nope, i finished it on Friday and Saturday like a bad bitchhhhhhhhh

(61) What Is Your Sexuality? bisexual

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning? depends on day 

(63) Favourite Pokemon? squirtle i guess

(64) Favourite Social Media? insta 

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories? they're fine 

(66) Do You Get Homesick? kinda 

(67) Are You A Virgin? ill leave it up to ur imagination bitch (MENNA IM SO SORRY IM NOT CALLING U A BTICH IM JUST SAYING THAT IN GENERAL) 

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now? i forgot the name, but its white and fancy and from the same brand 

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm that is a very good question, probably the motel 

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life? AHAH depends on what u mean by “still in my life”!!!!!!! i guess technically yes, but I've already cut off those bitches in my head 😌 manifesting it into existence <3 

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters? avatar 2 

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex? i don't have one 

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now? “not you, i didn't wanna hurt you”

(74)  What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest? brown bc if i say any other color, its probably a yt person and also brown be smexy

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set? yes, yes 

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate? honey buttered biscuits 

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone? among us, maybe Minecraft 

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not? no bc i don't know how and i would call for someone else to help 

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?probably bc I'm a hermit

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network? amsifnda this is ME ur talking to 

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People? yes kinda, unless they're awkward (aHEM BREAKOUT ROOMS WITH NEW BUT AWKWARD PEOPLE-) 

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them. i used to but not anymore 

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?  i want it closed but the person i share the room with leaves it open bc they say we’re gonna fuckin suffocate if we leave it closed and i hate it bc ✨trauma✨! DONT WE LOVE TRAUMA??!?!?!?!??!?!?!? :D............

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today? i baked biscuits, i did college stuff, i showered

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed? usually mismatched pjs 

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now. chapstick, natural skincare serum, lotion, face masks

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person? day 

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc. don't have any

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

a snake chased me and it was weird as fuck

(90) Favourite Soda Drink? don't have one 

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite? people laughing, violin and piano, my friends voices, my siblings voices

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More? SWEATS

(93) How Do You Look Right Now? comfy 

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You. showering

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want? maybe an important quote? “dont trust owls” imprinted on my face

(96) Favourite YouTuber? stephanie soooooooooooooooooooooo 

[edsbev]

give me richie first realizing his feelings for eddie hcs pls

i’d like to think that its rlly mundane. like nothing rlly changes, richie just realises it one day

theyre probs studying in richies room. well eddie is studying. richie gave up 20 minutes ago and is lying on his bed, throwing a ball up and down lazily

theres a big test coming up soon and eddie is s t r e s s e d

“can you stop throwing that fucking ball its so distracting,” eddie says into his homework. richie doesnt stop. eddie spins around in his chair. “richie did you hear me i said stop.” 

but richie just grins and keeps throwing it. annoying eddie is probably his fave past time

only because he likes it when eddie glowers at him. like eddie is doing right now. that little grumpy face he pulls is funny. 

“i know you dont care abt school but im trying to not fucking fail this class i mean if i fail it i could potentially have to re-do the whole year and then i’ll graduate a year later than i should and then i’ve set my whole life back–” eddie rambles in that fast-talking, no-breathing way he does, where he doesnt leave any spaces between his words, and needs to pause to suck in a deep breath after a few moments or else he’ll pass out.

richie watches him. the way eddies nose wrinkles, his eyebrows tug downwards, in his irritation. the way eddies hair - which is usually very neat - falls over his forehead, mussed up from him anxiously running his hands through it. 

eddie pauses to suck in a deep breath between his words, and as he inhales it gets caught in his throat. and he says, raspy, “fuck i need my inhaler.” then he fumbles around in his pockets for it. “this is your fuckin fault richie”

and its just all so very eddie that a warm wave of affection crashes over richie. 

eddie takes a few quick puffs from his inhaler then points it threateningly at richie and jumps straight back to ranting at him

and richie thinks, cute.

only he doesnt rlly think it. that warm wave of affection kind of pools in richies stomach, in his chest, and he just gets a feeling. a kind of, im finding my best friend rlly cute right now kind of feeling. 

and as soon as he feels it, his brain goes into a panic and he tries not to feel it. 

because uh…what? he does not think his best friend is cute that’d just be weird

he looks away from eddie, goes back to throwing the ball up and down. this time as a way to calm some of the nervousness thats starting to make his arms jittery

“did u rlly not just listen to a single word i said?” eddie snaps.

“no” richie says. 

“ughhh.” richie can tell that eddie is rolling his eyes, but he doesnt look at him, because his brain is threatening to find eddie cute again.

annoyed, eddie gets up from the desk, marches over to richie, and tries to snatch the ball away. without thinking, richie grabs the ball, stretches his arm up and behind his head, his hand bumping against the bed’s headrest. 

and well thats a dumb fucking idea. because eddie hmmphs, looks at richie in determination, then leans over him, trying to grab at richies hand. 

and. so. richie literally had a brief moment of gay panic abt his best friend like 2 seconds ago. and now he’s managed to get said best friend almost on top of him. and eddies t-shirt is brushing against richies face, and he smells good and that warmth in richies belly just gets hotter and richie has literally made this ten times worse for himself

“get off me get off get off,” richie says quickly, pushing eddie away. eddie stumbles back, surprised. 

“what?” eddie asks. 

richies heart is absolutely racing. what the fuck is happening?? where the hell did this come from?? sure hes always liked eddie a lot but thats bc theyre best friends!! nothing has changed it just doesnt make sense he must just be overreacting –

“just give me the ballll,” eddie says, not sensing richies internal freak out. he pokes richies arm, only he kinda misses, so his fingertips just brush against the bare skin of richies bicep instead. a million goosebumps prick up all over richies body at the touch. which is not how richie has reacted to eddie touching him before. at all. maybe he’ll feel a little warm and fuzzy when he and eddie touch but this is…he swallows thickly…this feels like…

experimentally, richie looks at eddies lips. which are currently pursed a little in eddies confusion. and richie, as an experiment, imagines leaning over and pressing his mouth to those pursed lips. 

his stomach flips right over and falls to his knees. 

ok. his cheeks burn red. fuck. his breathing quickens. looks away. this is new, this is new, is it new? yes ofc its fucking new. he wants to kiss eddie. thats new

“you ok?” eddie asks. 

“uh” when richie glances back, he can see that eddies expression has softened a little. and that just makes the feeling in his gut even stronger. 

he throws the ball across the room. “there you go.” he says. eddie raises an eyebrow. but says nothing. and richie doesnt breathe again until eddie has turned away. 

and as eddie grabs the ball, settles back down at the desk, richie falls back against the bed. stares up at the ceiling. blood pounding in his ears, his feelings for eddie exposed, surging up in his throat. and he thinks….this actually explains a lot

[feisty-fae]

If you still do the flower ask thingys.. 👉👈 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙜𝙤 :)

HoooH boY hEre we gO-

Alisons: Sexuality?

I sexually identify as a can of beans

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

Cis female she/her

Amaryllis: Birthday?

27 September

Anemone: Favorite flower?

All flowers pretty,, but stargazer lily, rose, dahlia and cherry blossoms

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

I don't watch tv but I'll list some other stuff i like to watch:mha, beastars and aggretsuko

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

Idk depends on scenario??

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

"Kanye West he likes, fingers in his ass."

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

Any Milkshakes or smoothies (mostly banana and strawberry for milkshake and p much anything for smoothie)

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I've never had kith

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

Well you see yes but actually no

Baneberries: Favorite song?

I listen to a lot but to keep it short:baby in the kitchen, in my mouth and friends slowed (chase atlantic)

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

We p chill fam

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

Irl bestie,, shes not on tumblr lol

Begonia: Favorite color?

PinKKK

But i like most colours

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

Cats,,,,

FoxES,

ANYTHING CUDDLY AND CUTE

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

Night

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

I'd be like a doggo bc it would be the most fun i think-

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a vet but then when my granny asked me "but whos gonna clean up the animal poop?" I was like "eWW pO0pP!" and then decided that mayb i shouldn't be a vet

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

They're either really kind and sweet

Or literal demons from hell

Legit no inbetween

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

I'm afraid of lot of things-

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

I was one dumbass bitcg-

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

Idk eat pizza and cry or smth ajakamkw

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

Single

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

NEW YORKKK, CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFF THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO NOW YOU'RE IN NEW YOOORKKK

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

When someone hugs me or just generally spends time with me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

Nop

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

I used to have piercings when i was a bab but eHh haven't worn them since and i dont think my ear holes are big enough now-

California Poppy: Height?

4'10 grrr I'm the omega midget and I'll devour ur ankles

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

Nop

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

Pant, pink top and black hoodie

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

I think i have??

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

My mom and my dad

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

I never kith

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

I dont have one so imma say sans bc it always looks out of place and makes me laugh-

Columbine: Are you tired?

No

I feel like screaming and jumping around my room like a crackhead

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

Nothing in particular ig

Coneflower: Dream job?

Smth kinda fun and art or design related hopefully,,,,

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert but i also get lonley easily

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

Nop,,,,

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

I would get run over by 5 monster trucks, jump off a plane, get mauled by 10 bears, get trampled on by a stampede, get brutally tortured for 12 hours straight, yeet myself into the Grand Canyon and then break all my bones with my bare hands if they weren't broken already

Ok basically i care a lot

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

I had this st bernard plush called Sparky and this lion named Sammy,,

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Libra

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

My memory is legit so bad it's probably concerning uHHH

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

Mayb art??

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

Ehhh i might reason with them and then if they still disagreed I'd just keep the relationship a secret

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

My parents

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

Ehhh arT

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

EhhHh everything that isn't art-

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

Oh boy here comes my shitty memory-

Hmmm

Idk but I'm mostly happy that I've been more social and stuff and i feel like im kinda coming out of my shell a bit

Not sure what to say for other 2 bc nothing in particular has really happend?

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

Ehhh oK??

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

Mayhapsn't

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

I hope to pass all my exams and get an okish job mayb

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

1.fRIENBS ILY MY HABIBIS

2. Fammm

3. eHhh yummy food,,

4. Drawing and uhhh art

5. EPIC MUTUALS

6. Ok idk what else aside from like serious stuff like house and etc.-

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

Drawing, crying, venting to a friend/parent

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

Hugssss,kith,cuddle, *draws u stuff*

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

MmmmmMy aRRt?

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

Wake up

Don't go to school

Vibe with friends

Sleeb

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

MmMmMM aRT-

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Ehh 8yrs? We met in hell school

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Friendos

Mom

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

6..?? Aa idk theres some people that idk if they'd consider me a friend or not,,

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Idk any compliment is best compliment for me,,

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

Ew yucky gröss

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

m y a r t

Also my hair bc its soft and wavy,,

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

Everything else-

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

Climb trees and do dumb shit

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

Same irl bestie i mentioned before

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

MmmmmmMMM,,,

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

MMMmMMmMMMMmmmMMm,,,,,,

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

Well I chose Fae bc i thought it sounded pretty

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

Idk what to rlly say lmao

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

Kinda the same but i had toys everywhere-

Also when i was like 5 i had this legit fucking cursed thomas the tank engine shaped bed that i actually found a pic of but it's FUCKING HORRIFYING SO I PROBS WONT SHOW HERE-

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

EW BEING A TEENAGER SUCKS ASS HOW DO I UNDO????

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

Hi mom ily ur epic

Onions: Tell about your dad.

Hi dad ily ur epic

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

Omg i miss my grannies sm bc i couldn't see em this year bc nasty pandemic

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

Haha shit memory gor brrRR-

I don't really remember too many specific parties but when i was like 7-10 i had these epic parties in those birthday places with the giant play areas

I kinda wish i wasn't too old to go to them sobs

Peony: What was your first job?

I haven't had a job yet

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

Hmmmm idk? I haven't really thought abt that but i don't really mind i just wanna find someone to vibe with,,

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

I cri

Pink: Where is home?

Home is home home

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

Now where do i start...

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

I look up to people that are kind, caring, brave, funny, cool or stronger than me ig?

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

Basically my current life minus school, stress,pandemic and responsibilities lmao

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

I used to believe in ghosts after i thought i encountered one

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

Hermmmst

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

Peoples laughsss also music

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Bro i dont have one,, my aphantasia makes it hard for me to remember stuff-

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

A

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

I wantttt better chargersss thattt donttt telll meee thatt myyy tablett will finishh chargingg innn 1 dayy andd 7 hoursss

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

Kinda difficult but im opening up more

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

fRIENDS,,,,,wAh

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

8 hrs

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

Idk ig i kinda have to go to school and do stuff

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

Non existant

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

My black and white stripy top, and all my hoodiess

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

I don't think i have just one aesthetic bc im drawn to so many different aesthetics at the same time-

Like vintage, neon, dark, spoopy, pastel, cute, etc etc

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

OMG I LEGIT JUST SCREAM AT ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES ME-

IF SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE ME SMTH I CRY,,

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

🤏

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

I haven't been reading anythinggg

But i should really finish reading Percy Jackson bc it do be picking up dust-

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

Everywhere

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

Mmm yummy 👅

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

I am currently living and breathing yes

[kinktae]

hi babe !!! i’m starting on my journey through the whole bitchin’ series today !!! and i just wanted to say that it really reminds me of that 70’s show (even if i know urs is set in the 80’s lmao) !!! and i want to congratulate u on the job well done !!!

All the bitchin’ asks I didn’t get to answer in time uwu. Spoilers ahead:

prince-jjk said: just read your beyond the story for bitchin’ and i literally cried twice 🥺 especially in the 10yrs later when, for the wedding gift, jk gives y/n the contract they wrote all the way back when they barely knew eachother, that part just made me be like skfkskckskfkd on the inside, that was adorable.

Anonymous said: bitchin is so soft 🥺 it was love at first chapter for me, i loved watching y/n and jk grow throughout the story both together and on their own and i love all the soft lil moments and reading every chapter warmed my heart so damn much 🥺 thank you 💕

Anonymous said: okay so i finally read bitchin’ all in one day and 🥺🥺🥺🥺 they are both idiots i love them sm,, thank u for writing such an incredible story!!💕💗💕💘💗

Anonymous said: MISS ROSE?!?!?!?! BITCHIN' IS BACK AND WITH YOUR BEHIND THE SCENES COMMENTARY?!?! I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITED MA'AM!! AND WELCOME BACK QUEEN WE'VE MISSED YOU AND THESE LOVABLE DORKS!!!!💛💓💙💕💜💖💚💞❤💘💗

Anonymous said: I LOVED WHAT YOU POSTED FOR BITCHIN OMGGG i actually LOVE seeing behind the scenes of writing so i really enjoyed reading about the details of bitchin. nOT TO MENTION HOW CUTE THE EPILOGUE WAS PLEASE I DONT THINK ILL EVER GET OVER THEM but overall i really liked it and thank you so so so so so so so much for this

Anonymous said: i swear Yara and Taehyung do be the cutest couple :(

beifong-bitch said: So im new around here and just started reading bitchin and oh god- I KEEP IMAGINING TAES VOICE SOUNDING LIKE THAT ONE SURFER DUDE FROM TOTAL DRAMA.

Anonymous said: beyond the story: bitchin’ got me so emotional like??? i think i can’t live without them:( thank you for this beautiful story🤧 you’re so talented

sapphireprinces5 said: can I just say that the fact you called it Behind The Story as BTS is so genius and the best chef’s kiss of the century. reading this made me tear up like I miss the two so much and to see them happy forever was just 🤧 it was so cool to see how the stories developed and your thoughts as you wrote them. thank you for giving this to us - probably one of the best gifts i’ve ever received as a reader. amazing, you’re amazing

mochiieberry said: JUST READ THE UPDATE FOR BITCHIN AND FINALLY I CAN START MY DAY(ignore the fact it’s 3 am :) ). But honestly after reading BITCHIN I questioned what happened afterwards and thank you for writing the behind the scenes and giving us 10 year update!!

ggukcangetit said: oh my gosh i was missing bitchin' and you posted the most incredible companion piece. also love how its called beyond the story (BTS) so sneaky rose (¬‿¬) you really spoilt us with the connect i am sad and happy so thanks for that. lastly, just wanna appreciate how much effort, hard work, and care you devote to your stories, characters, and readers. since you are a LOT younger than me imma go ahead and say this- uWu rose is the best liddol bean in the world. okay bye.

Anonymous said: I just wanted to say thank you for the extra bitchin' content! It's one of my favorite fics ever (mainly bc I am a woman in stem who takes shit from no man and I hardcore identify with yn) and to see how much you love the fic and genuinely get excited about the little details you slip in to make it more enjoyable for you to write just makes my heart !!! bc i love nothing more than hearing writers talk about their works with pride. love you lots and thank you for always putting out great content!

Anonymous said: Yara refusing to put a label on her relationship after 10 years sends me. For one thing, as an independent woman who is terrified of commitment, I can 100% relate lol. The titles she gives him instead killed me as well. Her outrage at the crustaceans was also so something I’d do. Like “no ma’am my best friend ain’t sign up for this and as far as I’m concerned she’s gonna get exactly what she wants”. Yara is my spirit animal.

Anonymous said: I have a lot of questions. #1- How dare you? Bitch I am sobbing. I love those Bitchin fools and I ain’t ever gonna stop loving them!

lee-u-ne12 said: I may have giggled one too many times during my "beyond the story: bitchin'" reading. Dammit it's just so cute! I found it charming how instead of just giving us an update on the characters you included some commentery on each chapter! Ngl i was rlly sad earlier but this made me smile :)

Anonymous said: I definitely noticed the sock thing and thought it was stupidly cute (like this entire fic tbh) and djjdjdjdjjd I wish I had commented on it when I first read it! I loved the behind the stuff and loved all the reasoning as to why you didn't want y/n to be a 'popular guy gave me confidence' type of character 👏 honestly loved it all thank you!!!!

Anonymous said: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING BITCHIN’!! ITS A WORK OF ART AND SO AMAZING QND I LOVE U SO MUCH MISS ROSE 😭😭😭💕💓💖💕💗💞❣️💖��

Anonymous said: AHAHJAJAJAJJA THIS MADE ME SOOOOO HAPPY AND I HAVEN’T FELT THIS HAPPY AND SAPPY IN SUCJ A LONG TIMEEE!! i absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE READING THE BACKSTORY AND BEHIND THE SCENES OF WRITING THIS FIC AND THE 10 YEARS LATER AND WEDDING MADE ME SO FUCKING HAPPY AHAHAHJAHA I ALSO LOVE TAE AND YARA SO MUCH AND I LOVE THAT THEYRE SO HAPPY BRO AND LIKE THEY DIDN’T NEED A LABEL LIKE yES PERIODT!UGHUGHYGHI I LOVE YOU SO MCUH MISS ROSE AJHSJS I HAVE SO MUCG LOVE FOR YOUU 😭😭😭💖💓💕

Anonymous said: ROSE YOU SON OF A BITCH I LOVE YOU

cheeky-kookie said: ROSE, I am so happy this is the best birthday present wowza ily thank you bitchin' update I cry

Anonymous said: oh my gosh yara and tae are gonna get married someday and she's still gonna be like what? husband? you meaN my matChing riGg wEareR.

Anonymous said: Just wanted to let you know, I just read BITCHIN' AND IT'S THE BEST STORY I'VE READ IN A WHILE AND NOW ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITES. I would totally read it again in the future . Thank you for writing it and sharing it with us and you're awesome!

Anonymous said: Bitchin' was amazing. I cried. Thank you for writing it 🖤

Anonymous said: I think I've read bitchin like 3 times now but in never fails to put a smile on my face. The 80s slang kills me every time. Just wanted to say it's one of my favourite fics I've ever read :)

Anonymous said: i just finished bitchin’ AND IT WAS SO GOOD i cried at the end when it came full circle about the paper 😭❤️

Anonymous said: Hi I just binge read bitchin I’ve always ran into it but I hesitate Bc I knew it wasn’t completed I’m the worst but,,, ow. Ow. My heart physically melted you developed two characters so well and there’s no way I’m not going to reread again and again because of how good and genuine their relationship was. Uhh that’s it sorry I just wanted to let you know I’ll need money Bc my heart is unfunctional because of how full it is

Anonymous said: i just wanted to tell you that you made me feel so 🥺🥺🥺🥺!!!! with bitchin', that it is one of my favorite stories ever and that it's just so amazing and well written i just- don't stop doing what you're doing please !!!!!

Anonymous said: hi sorry this is random but im a huge fan of your work! i havent checked in with tumblr too much lately but last night i binge read camellia, groovy, and bitchin and oh my goodness i was so enthralled !! you have such a wonderful ability to engage readers with such relatable and dynamic characters! like wowowow i cant wait to read more of your writing! thanks so much for putting in the time and effort you do to create your work, its great and im glad you get to share it with the world! 🌟

Anonymous said: hi so i may or may not have read all of bitchin in one night BUT I LOVED IT AND IM AMAZED BY YOU 🥺♥️

Anonymous said: hiii! bitchin’ has been the best thing i have ever read and im so sad that its over, but im so happy you wrote it! u are an incredible writer❤️❤️❤️

emdancing said: Hi! I’d just like to say I binged bitchin and i absolutely loved it! It just might be my favorite koo fic 💕 your writing is awesome and so are you!!

Anonymous said: i binge read bitchin this weekend and i don’t even like fanfics but kept seeing it get recommended so decided to check it out and i loved it 😭 jungkook in that fic is so perfect and cute (except for his mess up with kiri) and that note at the end got me emotional 🥺 your story and writing was too too good, i skipped all the smut but still loved it 💗 thank you for sharing one of the most heartwarming and lovely stories i have ever read! 🤧

lowlifeoeuvre said: Hi i just read bitchin and i only have one thing to say about it... A WHOLE MASTERPIECE MAN!! literally almost cried and actually made a very inhuman happy noise at the end. I will for sure be reading anything else you write or have written.

babeewiththepowerr said: I just finished reading Bitchin and now I’m crying 😢 it was soooo pretty and well written 💜

[ugisfeelings]

my transfer app is ready to start so

things i like abt boston:

some of the most sincere, candid, conscientious and truly most compassionate ppl who fiercely care abt the world n uncynically fight for alternative possibilities of living together are there. the conversations ive had as a freshman have been so insightful n genuine i desperately miss it sometimes... even just texting them makes me feel invigorated n want to stay 

i like the person i am when im in boston......i don’t have to make myself sound callous n mean to maintain dignity. i don’t have to turn my core principles into palatable jokes. im not weighed down by hs ppl’s scrutiny of me no classmate is going to call me a dirty communist chink behind my back nobody is going to call me crazy none of my friends are going to feel awkward having to defend their token left extremist friend no one is going to say ‘lol we’re not smart enough to understand what ur talking abt on class or imperialism’ i dont constantly feel like im on the defensive or having to put on a facade of harmony

fantastic courses w/ great professors... and profs i can have write rec letters for grad school... part of my college’s selling name (n debt lol) are its connections ig

opportunities??? if im back in nova next summer ill be very disappointed in myself there’s rlly a lot i could reach out to

being away from family.... and maybe bringing my brother over here sometime like over his spring break or smthing i want him to get a taste of life away from our parents

if i end up w/ a man there’s a 60% greater chance it’ll feel less like marriage than a partnership... 

“People can be and are there for you, if you allow us in, [redacted]. Try to fight the slide into a kind of inner isolation that is masked by 'performing normality' to the external world. Having an intentional and caring community is really important and, more than anything else you can do for yourself, you must try to not end up isolated and adrift from grounding as an Asian American.”

this morning i got an offer to co-write an article for the college newspaper... i just can be so much if i let go of my doubts n let myself reach for it

things i like abt va:

no debt. no loans. no throwing my family’s money into the void n hoping it’ll bounce back w/ a 0.03% chance of an academic job. no feeling financially bound to under my parents. no more barely-joking plans abt marrying a financially stable man or back-up plans of going into accounting bc that’s how terrified i am of being in perpetual debt for a half ass dream. no more obsessive staring at my statements n checking/calculating the interest rates as im calling my parents. i can free myself of the jealousy i feel towards others i can feel less guilty for not wanting to get married or have kids

$$$$$$$$$$

home friends are closer. 

more funding for my department. i can do the research ive been hoping to do since end of freshman year... and ill likely have more support to go into grad school n do vigorous research w/ top of their field academics

nobody asking abt my pronouns at every single place thank god what the hell do thosem even accomplish it’s all so performative

i can also do so so much without killing myself at an institution that doesn’t n never will care for me n that its expenses will haunt me for the rest of my life. i dont have to be at a fancy liberal arts college to accomplish great things n be human w/ my peers

[glittersparklezthott]

what's your favorite thing about all your friends?? :3 gO OFF beautiful man

oof, my friends??? lmao, where do i even start w/those bitches i love them. bUT BEFORE I GO OFF, THIS CANNOT LEAVE US BCAUSE IM DRUNK AS FUCK RN AND HAVE NO FILTER I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GONNA COME OUT OF ME (lmao) AND IF THEY'RE GONNA FUCKIN KILL ME FOR IT so no fuckin snitchin. im watching you 👀

braaanch branch branch bRANCH im so fucking happy we're friends. this is just the tip of the damn iceberg, but he's so fucking nice!! he denies it at any opportunity but not just anyone is as protective as that fucker, he'd do anything for anyone of us and i fucking love that. it annoys the fuck out of me, bcause he doesn't seem to get that we LIKE HIM and him getting hurt is BULLSHIT but i love where it comes from. he'd do fucking ANYTHING to protect us. he's so damn comforting to be around because it kinda feels like nothing's gonna hurt you if he's there?? if that makes any sense, lmao. also he's fucking BEAUTIFUL like??? what the fuck he drinks SWEAT ive sEEN HIM DO IT who gave him the right to be so damn pretty?!?! oOOF and don't get me STARTED on how understanding he is, GOOD FUCK. im sobbing like a baby for no damn reason and he's just THERE looking awkward, sure, but he just talks and talks until i can breathe again and OOF i love that big ol dork

QUEEN POPPY, MY ANGEL!!! she's so brave, like, too brave sometimes. she cares so damn deeply for all of us and i fuckin love that she's always willing to drop something to help us or just frikin make us feel better about some shit that don't even matter. she's just!!! so good!! she's always there to HUG or CUDDLE and she gets that sometimes that's all a man rlly needs to get thru the day again. man my dudes i can trust that girl w/anything, she'd help me bury a BODY with 0 questions. well, i mean. not 0, but you get it, she's so sweet!! fuck man i'd put my life in her hands and i already HAVE she's the most trustworthy person i've ever met. she's so thoughtful too??? like, she genuinelly listenes to complaints and requests of us dumbass villagers who don't know how to do things and she iMPLANTS IMPROVEMENTS ASAP SHE'S AN ANGEL WHO WE TRULY DON'T DESERVE

COOOPEERRRR MY BEST BRO!!!!!! i love that funky boy!!!! coopers so damn chill, i can just fucking go to his house at 3 in the morning and he's all "sup dude, want a drink?" or he just acts like i was there the whole time and screams "GUY I JUST GOT THE BEST PRANK IDEA GET YOUR KEY TO BRANCH'S BUNKER I BOUGHT THE STREAMERS ALREADY LETS FUCK SHIT UP" he's so good at making you feel good no matter what you're doin or what you're goin thru UGH he's fuckin fantastic. whatta lad.

SATIN YOU BEAUTIFUL GIRL oh my GOSH i adore her

and one cannot be without the other mISS CHENILLE!!! she's a dramatic BITCH and i LOVE HER good fuck her sarcasm is ON POINT prAISE THE LORD she's SAVAGE. we've spent HOURS once just smack-talking each other, i don't even remember how it started, but she's a QUEEN. but she's also super respectful?? she knows how to get under people's skin but also knows where to push and where to hold, u know???? that doesn't make sense but like, she knows what to say in either extreme like, if you bein a sad bitch she knows what to say to fix it and make you either feel better or just talk some sense into you. she doesn't judge or ask to many questions she just. listens then verbally tells you how to fix it or how to feel better about it and for some reason when she talks i just. believe her??? lol, wack i know, but she's a damn good person and i appreciate her more than i think she knows

biggieeeeee what an angel. a big ol teddy bear. he's such a damn bleeding heart, he's so hekcin kind

suki is a different kind of chill than cooper, she just sees things happening around her and knows they'll pass one day and lets that keep her calm and im hECKIN JEALOUS!! she's so good with people too, especially kids!!! she knows how to keep things light while also keeping them real and it's amazing. AND HER MUSIC, HOLY SHIT, SHE'S SO TALENTED!!!! SHE'S SO DAMN GOOD!!!! everything i hear from her is a BOP and it SLAPS i adore her!! oof, tbh she's one of the first people who made me adore what my voice could do, she finally talked me into singing the lead for one of her songs when we were dumb-ass tweenagers and hasn't let me look back since. it's rough to look back on now, tweenagers and all, but that's w/out a single doubt when i stopped hating my autotune jams~  she knows how to give everyone a place w/out making it obvi that she's doing anything special or out of the ordinary. Suki is a goddamn angel.

SMIDGE!!! THAT BITCH SHE'S A FUCKING /RIOT/ I LOVE THAT WACKY LESBIAN. our rivalry dictates that im not allowed to say that but good fuck what kinda asshole would i be if i left her out of this lovefest she's AMAZING and i can't even lie. she's so damn determined about everything she does!!! she's beautiful and she never lets anyone judge her for a single damned thing FUCK i wish i had that confidence its SEXY AS FUCK. she's so damn strong too??? she's been lifting since we were 14 and she's sTILL not stopping she's gonna lift up the entire damn world one day and i can't wait to see it. she's so loyal to us too, and like, even on your worst days you'd never ever doubt HER friendship bcause she'd bench press YOU into a suplex if you dared to. she does anything even if she's not good at it just because she wants to try. smidge is a beautiful bitch and despite our rivalry im damn well aware that we'd die for each other.

i have succesfully went OFF i hope that's what you wanted bby

THIS DOES NOT LEAVE THIS POST  B LEASE REMEMBER THAT

[angelblumes]

God for real, I have no idea what to say to anything to anybody talking abt my mental health like honestly I do try to be the most honest with my therapist because I dont really talk to any1 else irl abt it but you think I know words for how I feel? no. I do feel like a goldfish. I forget everything I've ever felt when I walk into the building. Thanx 4 the good luck tho 😊❤ I also had a little moment rsd when I asked my dad something and he didn't take it seriously so I did cry, salads are really the worst thing to accidentally forget abt/ something bad happen to it😢 😐 😑 I dont even care if you talk abt hannibal, its fine! I understand! I feel like I complain abt bugs almost everytime, but 😑 I got paranoid because a flying big ass beetle was on the ceiling of my porch? And i was 👀 so I wasn't paying attention when another 1 got all up in my face. I stg it made me mad cuz wth why are bugs like that? I had some watermelon w/ brown sugar and white sugar 😌 also some taco bell 4 dinner. I did write inside of my little diary tho 😁 also im sure ur therapist didn't want to kill u 🤣 We are the same person 💗 I also therapize myself , but its just me being emotional/mentally ill and then me trying to talk myself into being logical abt it. Sometimes I feel like I dont be mentally ill and different and im normal, but once I'm around other ppl im like oh ! yea I got problems and everyone can clearly see that and 😬 I still gotta work on it. Not to say I look bad or anything, I just can't put on a normal ppl mask you know? OK good night this was also very long and rambly and all over but✌❤

UR THE BEST EVER. have i said that? its so true. the salad didnt even go bad!!!! i will eat the rest of it today hopefully! and dw i hate bugs like i totally get it😭😭 umm.. i dreamt abt captain america and the winter soldier HELP. we were like besties... idk the only thing i really remember is that they were both hilarious like the whole dream is just me laughing then stopping and then laughing again. there was other stuff but i forgot it obv. i watched a hannibal amv and the song was "take me to church" haha but it showed scenes from the last eps and i forgot i havent seen most of the last season.... like i dont think u mind but spoilers!!^__^ abigail dies and i stopped watching for like 6 months bc of that. i had to rewatch the ep too bc i didnt know exactly where i left off. which is good cuz i did miss a few important minutes at the end but i did break down and sob again. they took hannibal off netflix too so i had to watch it on effing HULU. i despise hulu. the ads are ridiculous im already paying y'all just give me the show! i brought that up bc umm... i cant believe i just QUIT season 3? its so good like i skipped around eps bc i rlly already know what happens but i will watch it all the ads r just impossible. anyway my friend just SCOLDED? ME? for eating a banana too slow????? my rsd barely like bothers me w her bc i just get pissed off like she does this stuff sometimes and it always is ridiculous. "we dont want to get gnats" by me taking a few minutes to eat a god damn banana?😐urgh. i had an awful panic attack bc my allergies are so bad i cant rlly breathe thru my nose right. n i was brushing my teeth and trying to breathe thru my mouth. n i couldn't. i have asthma btw so i was lile oh god this is some extreme asthma attack and im going to die. i did not die. i hate panic attacks like i nvr know its happening in the moment and it makes it worse. n normal ppl masks... SO RELATABLE! anyway um i dont feel like counting all whatever i said so i'll say one thing more. i brought up the hannibal here bc not bc of THAT amv but the one to hoodoo by muse😭 muse is.. big right? i really feel like i live under a rock and i've never been outside. i don't know how i'm supposed to know this stuff. anyway oh em gee. its soooo good. the video. i mean the song is too. i hate amvs where they're like good but the music sucks. even if its good music if it just doesn't vibe then it sucks. anyway idk it totally wrecked me after like seeing abigail die AGAIN and then will saying "i forgive you" and then hannibal walking away and then will n hannibal kill whatshisface together. i might just try to pirate hannibal only bc of hulu's 1-2 minute long adds every 10 minutes. i dont have that kind of patience. i'm always long and rambly do not worry❤️💗

[joohvuks]

hello angels n demons ! it’s me , uh kira , with the love of my life , PARK JOOHYUK . i love , redvelvetsus with my whole damn heart ! n marvel/dc , an*me n shopping by myself ! i’ve played joohyuk many times ( twice vc: twice! ) n i really wanted to bring him back in a rp , so that’s what i did ! im rlly excited to write him again ( hes a bit different from how i first imagined him tbh ) , & i’m also rlly excited to write with u all !! so to get to know joohyuk a lil more, i’ve written down some key things about him . at the end of it please give a big heart if ur interested enough to plot with me n joohyuk .. love me some validation

[ jeon jeongguk ] — hey there! this is [ PARK JOOHYUK ] and I go by [ he/him ], a [ twenty ] years old [ florist ] currently residing at [ daemun one bedroom apartment ] [ with my COUSIN ]. I am known around here for being [ b e n i g n ] but also [ taciturn ]. it’s nice to meet you!

WARNING: long because i dont know when to stop !

a BLESSING is what park jaehwan & kwon rohui called him after meeting fresh out the womb baby. although a little smaller & lighter than what was normal, his screams was proof that he was still a healthy boy ! his parents were excited to finally have their baby boy with them on this world, the baby they always wanted to have & now he’s finally here. ( HOSPITAL RECORDS: park joohyuk born march 20th 1997 on 09 55 pm . )

such a spoiled little thing he was, showered in affection & gifts ranging from secondhand iron man toys to hand me down clothes that were still too big for joohyuk  . money was a luxury for them , the parents just barely making ends meet with their 7-11esque store but for his parents , who always wanted to have a child of their own ; they would do everything for him. 

ask joohyuk what his childhood looked like & he would probably talk about tending the flowers in their backyard with his dad , learning about the different meanings of flowers and how to take care of them . he liked tending to the flowers during the spring months , more than he liked going to the playground near their home and having to play with the other kids. joohyuk always had the tendency to shy away from the neighbor aunties who would try to pinch his cheeks, and especially strangers. he wouldn’t even greet others if it wasn’t for his mother telling him to not be disrespectful. 

joohyuk likes flora but his true love is SINGING ! 

whether it be in his own room or in the bathroom, as long as it’s in the trusting & comfortable space of his home , he’d sing. sometimes even when his parents are in the same room as him too . his mother starts calling him her little songbird , his dad calls him sweet pea . joohyuk loves it . 

at age thirteen , an idol company scouted him ; having heard his singing when he passed by & joohyuk was well , embarrassed for the fact that the walls aren’t as thick as he thought they were but also very conflicted on what to do with being invited to do audition. the company wasn’t a big name like SM or YG , in fact joohyuk wasn’t even sure if he ever heard of the company before. his parents of course , were very excited to hear about the news ; of course they were , they were basically his BIGGEST stans . so they talked him into auditioning & after a lot of insecurity confessions n worries , joohyuk was packing a bag to get ready for the three hour train ride.

if he could’ve re-do his audition he would because it just wasn’t good , his voice cracked mid way through the song & he forgot his cue to start . tl;dr . it was absolute shit. and for joohyuk who didn’t want to audition in the first place, felt utterly heartbroken now after his audition. 

but miracles apparently do exist & three weeks after the audition , ( joohyuk almost forgot about it oops ! ) he got a call saying that he got in ! so a month after that , he was packing his bags & went on the same train back to seoul, his parents tagging along as they booked a stay at a guesthouse for a week so that joohyuk doesn’t miss them too much. 

during his trainee time , he felt incredibly lonely . his other fellow trainees tried to include him in their conversations & making him feel at ease but , joohyuk has always been the introvert type & always had trouble making friends. the other trainees didn’t bully him or anything but after so many attempts at befriending joohyuk they just started , ignoring him. 

the training period was hard , but joohyuk loves singing so much that it outweighs the cons . but five years later & with his debut date already set in stone , joohyuk just , couldn’t do it anymore. he hated singing in front of all those people, he cried every single evaluation &  he couldn’t stand the pressure, he couldn’t stand the thought of those guys he was going to be debuting with , knowing that he’d have to WORK with them & LIVE with them for the next who knows many years . joohyuk didn’t want to be a burden in a group where he wasn’t totally committed in. so he quit. 

the employees at the company weren’t all too happy with it , definitely not after spending the last five years making him into “ perfection “ . but , joohyuk still didn’t waver his decision even when he was drowning in the trainee debt. 

after that , joohyuk finished his high school . & college was expensive , and he doesn’t have much money even with the scholarship so it didn’t last long until joohyuk dropped that as well to work in a small flower store owned by a widow name jung haesoo . and he never returned to school again. 

HIS parents were disappointed in him , not the fact that he quit the trainee thing but more over that he dropped out of school . they believe that he won’t get a good future later since he doesn’t have an education , they only want the best for him they kept saying that to him but joohyuk didn’t listen. 

DAEMUN APARTMENT with one bedroom is his place of residence now , crashing the couch of his cousin who has kindly welcomed him . the place isn’t anything like his home in busan , far from it really but it’s still a place where he can make his home into.

DHFKLDSF UHH IF U MANAGED TO READ ALL OF THAT THEN I APPLAUD YOU , WE’RE LIKE ALMOST DONE WITH THIS I PROMISE

after all this years, the one thing joohyuk isn’t good at is still talking to strangers . he’s incredibly shy , even having a hard time walking up to a customer needing assistance , but he’s .. working on it probably. he needs a good five minute to hype himself up before walking towards the customers tbh . he’s very , sweet too . he’s really , sweet lmao... tries to see the best in everyone , he’s got his heart in the right place. his biggest flaw is well , he doesn’t know when to stop giving. so please , don’t take too much advantage of him djfslksjf . sike do it. 

[ extras ] talking & singing to the flowers thinking that they’ll grow , being able to watch any & every horror movie . taking the stairs to his apartment instead of the elevator . succulent on the window sill . remembering the customer’s orders . secret stash of tea underneath the register . blushing easily . making himself smaller than he actually is . liking dogs but being allergic to them . 

[ PLOTS ] well , he actually he needs all of them friends , crushes , mayhaps enemies . i do have a very unfinished plots page in the works so , uhh i’ll link it when it’s done ! but in the mean time i absolutely do not mind brainstorming so yeah : ) . please give this  a like if u want to plot hdjsfkldsjf 

and thank you so much for reading this demon of an intro !