#my friends call me “cringe interest” friend
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You're the FNAF mutual despite me having like... numerous fnaf mutuals. But you are like the most fnaf of my fnaf mutuals.
I guess the others are DCA mutuals or Security Breach mutuals. But you're the overall fnaf mutual.
fgeaigfaegf The overall fnaf mutual? XD
I'm honored? gheaohghgf
I follow a lot of DCA blogs right now, but I'm mostly focused on Security Breach and the Tales of the Pizzaplex books.
Like older Fnaf like 1-6 I'm not as familiar with.
But I know I'll be excited about the fnaf movie when I can finally see that thing.
You're my Mass Effect Mutual and like the "old sans undertale" mutual. ghaeoghaefgh. Just like "yeah we both like undertale, but not hardcore making stuff for it at the moment right now"
Also the person who I go for Utena analysis questions. And "cool animator friend" <3
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welcometogrouchland · 2 years ago
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[ID: a coloured and shaded digital sketch of Luz and Lilith from the owl house. They're depicted with their designs from For the Future. Luz is tackle-hugging Lilith, ugly crying and exclaiming "I missed you so much". Lilith braces for the hug and smiles with tears also in her eyes. The background is a pale yellow colour and previous versions of the sketch can be seen at low opacity behind the full drawing. End ID]
When you see your cool aunt (actually a loser but you love her) for the first time in months and she has a badass apocalypse makeover but still somehow looks like a librarian
#the owl house#toh#luz noceda#lilith clawthorne#I have a distinct feeling they won't reunite until the last episode (which I'm cool with#we're kinda busy rn)#but that won't stop me from imagining self-indulgent scenarios!! I love their relationship so much#luz really went from calling Lilith a bitch in the only way the disney channel would allow to being like. okay she's pathetic#in the first few episodes of season 2 and then by elsewhere and elsewhen when Lilith is visibly doing better luz is so supportive#of like. her new job and hobbies and stuff#and Lilith is still the same cringe fail slug woman we all know and love but she cares about Luz!#she wants to help her and share her interests with her!#they're so lame together and I adore them soooo much. adhd and autism best friends forever (real)#this was a quick doodle that i put way too mucn effort into colouring and posing wise to not post#I'm proud of the shading not bc it's especially intricate or pretty#but because the process was entirely me colour picking each individual colour and futzing with it until i got coherent shading#it's not something i do often but i love to practice it cause i feel like it improves my colour sense#and also allows me to micro manage the palette#like how Luz's azura outfit and the inside of her mouth and Lilith's skin are all the same shade of off-white#BUT i gave Lilith's a warmer shading tone (bc it's skin and has blood beneath it) while Luz's teeth has a yellow shading cast#(since that's the colour teeth turn w/o enamel and most ppls teeth is a yellowy off-white anyway) and then Luz's outfit has a teal cast!#bc i wanted white fabric to look different to pale white skin or teeth#that's such a niche thing to have fun doing and appreciate abt my own work but like. it's there!#I'm not a master of colour by any means it's just nice to be able to do that
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marsupials-of-mars · 10 months ago
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malleleothreesome · 11 months ago
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YOUR MALLEUS POST IS JUST!!!!! AGDKFFLSVFL!!!! WHO KNOWS HOW MANY TIMES I RE-READ THAT THING BUT IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT!!!! 😫😭👌🖤💚
I'm so late to this but thank you so much Knight!! 🖤💚🖤💚 I'm so happy you enjoyed Blindfolded Malleus... I was so excited for you to read it, and I'm very happy it lived up to the hype and anticipation!!! Truly, I am so honored and grateful that you would re-read something so long 🥹 it amazes me how supportive you are!! I hope I can continue to write things that you enjoy! One day in the [regretfully] far future I swear to you that I will put out an Idia fic just for you hehehe. I'm so overwhelmed by the amount of things I am excited to write, but I guess that is a wonderful problem to have! I only wish I had more time in the day to write, but alas, such is life. Why the fUCk am I writing so formal right now daiohssadoi;hdSAO not me saying BUT ALAS. SUCH IS LIFE????? It is so.
I'm actually taking a TWELVE DAY vacation from work starting on the 22nd so I might actually do a little request event where people can send me like kink prompts or something. I think that'll be fun!
Okay and FINE I'll do some fluff prompts too for the fluff people but please don't judge my fluff too harshly, I'm still learning!!! For some reason smut just comes naturally dhaDSAHIDDASijdsan I'll start gathering some prompts and we will do a little ask game or something.
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📣 By the way FELLOW HONEST THIGH RIDING ANON if you SEE this first of all, ONCE AGAIN: I wish to express my undying devotion to you and your exceptional thought process. I am positively frothing at the mouth over your request and I am PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE I am finally making good progress and it WILL be out soon. We WILL make him cum in his pants. We WILL make him cry, whimper, and moan.
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#sorry knight i took over your ask to make a desperate PSA for my hero: fellow honest thigh riding anon#ILYSM KNIGHT THANK U FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#does my millennial show when I key smash#as someone born in 96 i am actually right on the cutoff for millennial and gen z#so i choose to identify with whoever is getting the best press at the time#just kidding im sorry gen z i can't relate to yall at all...#i still like ugg boots and my hair will forever be side parted#most of my millennial cringe comes from being a tumblr user between 2010 and 2014#it is engrained#the cool thing about getting older (young people heed my words):#i am unbully-able (and one day you will be too)#you simply cannot make me feel bad about doing things i like to do and enjoying things that make me happy#take pride in what you enjoy and don't let societal norms stop you#also you don't have to worry about getting bullied anyway because adults literally don't do that to each other#everyone in their mid 20s and beyond have learned to stop caring about what other people do for their own enjoyment#because like... lets be real... seeing and learning about what makes people happy... is super cool. the world needs more happiness#this is also a call out: if your friends or online spaces make you feel bad about your interests... gtfo of there#thats not the norm. curate your spaces for what makes you feel good!!!#your 20s are shit enough without so much negativity during the times you are supposed to be relaxed and surrounded by loved ones#this post was made by ugg boot gang#‧͙+ ̊*・༓☾ Erica Answers ☽༓・* ̊+‧͙
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ifoundyousbsf · 5 months ago
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i just got a random idea for a fan made hamilton song, except i’m a lams shipper.
since first burn wasn’t used, it’s gonna be the example for this because i can’t play any instruments for crap.
so basically, it would come after wait for it and before stay alive. it’s basically john’s feelings about alexander since he kind of screwed him over with those letters.
in more exemplary terms, it’s john singing first burn (with different lyrics and a different meaning) about how he fell in love from the intimate letters and felt like shit after alex and eliza’s wedding. not only that, but his father found the letters and burnt the letters in front of him.
or, an alternative, he still feels betrayed after the wedding and takes matters into his own hands. he burns the letters himself just to give him more of an angry personality when he’s screwed over.
additionally to the second idea, his father could’ve found the letters and told john “you’re not my son anymore” (or something like that) and john felt like the letters alex sent him were fake and got him disowned for no apparent reason.
plus, the difference of this song being in act one and burn being in act two, yet the similarity of the songs could give a deeper symbolization of how strongly john felt for alex the same way that eliza did.
if you find this idea at least decent, please give me some feedback or suggestions and tell me if you want me to draft lyrics for it. (i might write it anyways but i’ll probably only post it if anyone finds interests in the idea)
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frogtossing · 1 year ago
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not me looking for job offers in cultural exchange programs in Finland in the middle of the night….
#what is that green man doing to me#my graduation is slowly but surely approaching#and i have no idea what i’ll do once i’m out of school#and i was thinking about potentially doing work and travel#and i went ‘hey i don’t necessarily have to work in an english speaking country’#and in a thought experiment i opened the page for finland#BOOM#there are so many people looking for people who can help around the house and with gardening….#i found one family asking for help with keeping maintenance around their house#and they seem so nice???#and they said they’re always looking forward to making new friends and getting to know different cultures that way#i might have fallen in love with them??#what do i do now???#i won’t probably do anything but i do like entertaining the thought#there’s a little demon in the back of my head though calling me cringe#am i not lowkey equating Finland with Käärijä??#cuz let’s be honest he sparked my interest in Finland#nyeeeeee i don’t know#i already feel a little bit of shame when people ask me what language i’m learning on duolingo#i’m scared that they’ll go ‘hah she’s so obsessed! cringe’#but isn’t it a good thing that i’m broadening my horizon?#technically it’s a good thing but is my motivation behind it valid?#oof sorry for this whole tangent#who knows! maybe i really will be posting from Finland in a year from now#i’m an adult i can do whatever i want#that is a scary scary thought#a thought that slows me down and stops me from actually doing anything#because it doesn’t seem real? and i’m so overwhelmed?#OKAY enough now
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naes-dairy · 8 months ago
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Hey.
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seaghosst · 1 year ago
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yeah jokingly making fun of your friends interests is funny but i prefer when they’re happy because i try to reference or encourage them to talk abt their interests. idk though
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
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(don't have to respond i just wanted to ramble somewhere) AUGHHHHHHHHHH YAKUZA FIVE. that game...that game is so good....the twists...the mystery...the taxi driving..*head in hands* the emotions torn from me...baba...rooftop daigo multiple times...what a banger game it so lovely its so incredible its sooooo long too so much content i've consumed in the past week ahh so lovely..i wish i could wipe my mind and play it for the first time again oh my word the fights were enjoyable (minus kanai i dont liek him.) WATASE. wow <3 i love this game i need to absorb this game i need to become this game there will never be another like this game i think it should be framed in a hall of fame for best game ever created *sniffle sob* y5...my darling darling rpg... it's tied itself as favourite game with y3 wow i need to play both of them at the same time for 100+ hours a day i will create more hours in a day to play for 100+ hours a day
ngl when i first got through Y5, it was. An Experience
BUT IN REVIEW it really is such a lovely game- kiryu's taxi segment is definitely one of the higher points for me lest i forget shinada's entire existence :)
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gender-euphowrya · 9 months ago
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psychoanalyzing myself to understand why i don't like gale all that much
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merevide · 1 year ago
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need someone to hold me and tell me it's going to be okay tbh (thought about fave character too much and now i feel like my brain is whirring around in a blender and i can't verbalize it or else i'll get annoying)
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helioooss · 28 days ago
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music girlfriend
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synopsis: you’re the weirdest loser karina has ever met in her life, but you’re cute. and different. and she might just like you. (loser girlfriend x mean girlfriend core)
w/c: 5k+
warnings: swearing, lots of it; mentions of bullying. like always, read at your own risk :)
a/n: a concept like this was my first ever fic…except that it was way more toxic and horrifying. i’ve rewritten it. but just reading something i wrote over 10 years ago makes me CRINGE
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
yu jimin is a force of nature on campus; the kind of girl people talk about in hushed tones, partly out of awe and partly out of fear. she’s got a reputation that precedes her: mean, cold and walls higher than the burj khalifa itself.
she doesn’t mince words, and her insults almost always land with surgical precision. you don’t cross her unless you’re looking to get burned, and even then, it’s not guaranteed she’ll care enough to react.
people say she’s a heartbreaker, and the rumours aren’t exactly subtle. she’s the type who’s been through a messy breakup or two, you’d never know it by looking at her though.
karina, as everyone liked to call her, doesn’t mess around with vulnerability: she does leather jackets, sharp eyeliner, and a smile that’s more threatening than warm.
most of her relationships don’t last long; people get too close, then quickly realize that they’re only scratching the surface of someone who’s built walls too high to climb.
and, then, there’s you. you’re not even remotely on her radar, like at all. unless you count that one time she stared you down just for coughing in her presence. you remember it vividly: it was a wednesday morning, and you were hurrying to class when you caught a coughing fit through the hall after attempting to chug a tropical juice box in two minutes.
unfortunately, she was passing by at the exact moment you let out a loud, ragged cough, and she stopped dead in her tracks; fixing you with a death glare that never left until you were out of sight.
“are you fucking kidding me?” she yells out as you practically run away. “loser!”
that stare was enough to make you want to crawl into a hole and disappear, and it cemented your fear of her. you’ve avoided her ever since, not that it’s been difficult — she’s too wrapped up in her own world to notice someone like you anyway.
yet, despite the fear and the certainty that she’d tear you to shreds if given the chance, you never miss an aespa gig.
every friday night, you make your way to the dingy dive bar outside of campus where they perform, staking out your usual spot in the far corner with a ginger beer in hand because you couldn’t stand the taste of anything else, but you only ever manage to drink half before losing interest. it’s not about the drink; it’s about watching her own the stage.
you sit there, trying not to make eye contact, trying to be as invisible as possible while simultaneously wishing she would look your way, just once….in a way that isn’t terrifying.
of course she doesn’t notice you. or at least, she pretends not to. she’s too busy flirting with half the room, her eyes sharp and her voice carrying over the crowd like a spell.
your only real friend on campus is yunjin, your roommate, who’s the complete opposite of you —confident, outgoing and friends with pretty much everyone.
she talks about the girls in aespa often, but you never really pay attention because, well, you’re usually too busy trying to complete a lego set or desperately attempting to finish either a boss in wu-kong, or a quest in dead island 2. in desperate times, you turn to call of duty though.
one saturday evening, as you’re halfway through building a lego roller coaster on the kitchen table, zero human interaction, yunjin drops a bombshell.
“hey, by the way, aespa’s coming over tonight,” she announces casually, as if she’s talking about ordering pizza, fingers twirling her hair and all.
you don’t even look up from your seat. “uh-huh, cool.”
“no, like, they’re actually coming here. to our dorm,” she repeats, clearly trying to make sure it sinks in.
you snap a lego piece into place and nod absentmindedly. “yeah, i hear ya.”
yunjin sighs, clearly defeated. “you’re really not listening, are you?”
“nope,” you admit, focusing intently on the roller coaster track.
“can you please get a girlfriend?” she leaves you to yourself and retreats back into the couch, shaking her head at how hopeless you are. “god, this place needs another woman.”
and then, maybe fifteen minutes later, it finally registers. aespa. karina. here. in your dorm. you’re in your toy story pyjamas with fresh spaghetti stains on it.
you freeze mid-piece placement, your eyes going wide as panic washes over you. “wait, did you say aespa is coming here?”
yunjin looks up from her phone, a grin spreading across her face. “finally paying attention, huh? yeah, they’ll be here any minute.”
“jennifer, are you serious?!” you practically yell, scrambling to your feet, knocking over half your lego set in the process.
“very serious,” she says, clearly enjoying your reaction.
you don’t waste any more time. there’s only one thing to do: that’s to get the hell out of there. before yunjin can say another word, you’re darting down the hall, your feet barely touching the floor. you burst into your room and start throwing things into your bag, moving with a speed you didn’t know you had.
“are you really running away?” yunjin calls after you, chuckling.
“yes!” you shout back, shoving random clothes into your bag. “i can’t deal with this!”
“you’re such a wimp!” she teases, but there’s affection in her voice. “you’ll be fine, i promise —“
“absolutely not,” you cut her off as you slam your door shut. you grab your keys, yank open your window and climb out onto the fire escape, your heart pounding.
as you make your escape, you look down and realise you’ve left a trail of legos behind you, tiny colourful pieces marking your pathetic retreat.
meanwhile, aespa finally arrives. winter, the band’s chaotic drummer, is sprawled on your couch, balancing a bottle of cheap beer on her forehead. ningning, the bassist, is rummaging through your snack drawer like she’s on a mission from god. giselle, the lead guitarist, is inspecting your lego collection with an expression that’s equal parts curiosity and confusion. and then there’s karina — leaning against the counter, looking bored and vaguely annoyed, like she’s too cool for this entire dorm (which she probably is).
“so, where’s this lego nerd?” ningning asks, looking around the living room.
“oh, y/n? she…left,” yunjin says with a shrug, trying not to laugh. “like ran away when i said you guys were coming over.”
“scared of us?” winter asks, looking offended. “we’re not that bad.”
“no,” yunjin adds, shaking her head. “she just really sucks at socialising but once you get to a point, she will yap your ears off.”
“it’s karina,” giselle says knowingly, nudging the singer with a grin. “she’s the scary one.”
karina just rolls her eyes, unfazed. “whatever. if she’s that much of a coward, she’s not worth worrying about.”
as she glances around the room, her eyes land on the half-finished lego set on the kitchen table. she moves closer, her gaze shifting from indifferent to slightly intrigued. she picks up a piece, examining it for a moment.
“what’s this supposed to be?” she asks, holding up the stray lego.
“a roller coaster,” yunjin replies, still smiling. “she’s been working on it all day.”
karina raises an eyebrow, setting the piece back down. “interesting.”
“what, the legos or the girl?” giselle teases.
“both,” karina admits, her voice low and thoughtful. and for a moment, just a moment, her usual cold demeanor softens. “she’s kind of weird, isn’t she? fucking coughed on me once and it just set me off.”
“so you know of her?” giselle raises an eyebrow, a playful smirk on her face.
karina frowns. “what the hell is your deal?”
“definitely,” yunjin cuts them off before they get started. “she’s into video games and all that nerdy shit. has never had a girlfriend in her life, but she’s gorgeous and funny in her own way.”
karina hums, her gaze lingering on the legos. “i’ll be the judge of that.”
meanwhile, you’ve been hiding out at the park not too far from your dorm for a while now, perched awkwardly on a bench — staring blankly at a nearby pigeon that’s scavenging for crumbs. it was the first place you could think of in your panic, but now that the adrenaline is wearing off, your stomach is making very loud complaints.
“great,” you mutter to yourself, pressing a hand to your rumbling belly. you didn’t plan this escape well. you don’t have money on you…just your keys and the few legos you hastily shoved in your pockets.
with a sigh, you finally accept defeat. “screw it,” you mutter, pushing yourself off the bench. “i’ll just sneak in, grab some food, and sneak back out.”
you start making your way back to the dorm, trying to convince yourself that you can avoid those girls altogether. if you’re lucky, they’ll be too busy talking to yunjin or trying to figure out the roller coaster you abandoned on the kitchen table.
approaching your dorm cautiously on your tippy toes, you open door as quietly as possible, sets of laughter audible from the living room — familiar voices that make you both excited and anxious.
you manage to sneak inside unnoticed, keeping your head down as you head straight for the kitchen.
the fridge is glowing right in front of you, immediately grabbing the nearest thing you see: a pack of cheese sticks and a pineapple juice box. you’re so focused on grabbing food and getting out of there that you don’t notice the figure leaning casually against the kitchen counter.
“back so soon, coward?”
you freeze, and slowly turn to find no one else but karina standing there. she’s holding a half-finished lego roller coaster piece, looking at you with a mix of amusement and something else you can’t quite read.
“oh,” you croak out, feeling your face heat up. “i was just…hungry.”
she raises an eyebrow, her expression somewhere between disbelief and mockery. “hungry enough to risk coming back into enemy territory?”
“it’s not enemy territory,” you mutter, peeling the wrapper off the cheese stick awkwardly. “i just panicked.”
karina’s smirk widens. “because of me?”
“maybe,” you admit reluctantly, taking a bite of the cheese stick. “you’re kind of scary, you know.”
“good,” she replies smoothly, stepping closer. “keeps people on their toes.”
“it definitely kept me out the door,” you mumble, trying not to flinch as she moves even closer. you notice she’s still holding the lego piece, twirling it between her fingers like she’s trying to figure it out.
“so,” she says, her voice dropping a notch, “what’s with the legos? seriously. i mean, a roller coaster?”
you glance at the half-built model on the table, feeling both embarrassed and defensive. “what’s wrong with a roller coaster?”
“nothing,” she replies, surprisingly sincere. “it’s just unexpected considering you’re over twenty.”
“what the hell is that supposed to mean?” you ask, narrowing your eyes.
she shrugs, her gaze shifting between you and the legos. “i’ve never met anyone who builds a roller coaster in the middle of a saturday night. alone.”
“what kind of person do i seem like, then?” you challenge, more curious than offended.
“the kind that runs away when someone like me shows up,” karina shoots back, but there’s no malice in her tone; just that familiar teasing edge.
you feel your face heat up again, but you manage to hold her gaze. “well, maybe i just don’t know how to deal with someone like you.”
“and what’s someone like me?” she asks, taking a step closer.
“mean,” you say bluntly, surprising even yourself.
karina blinks, caught off guard. “you coughed on me.”
“you remember that?”
“i felt a splash on my face you sore loser,” she whines, remembering the day so clearly. she watches you for a moment, then she gestures to the roller coaster. “so, are you gonna finish this or what?”
“i was planning to,” you say defensively. “it’s not my fault i got interrupted.”
“by yourself?” she raises an eyebrow at you.
“by you,” you correct, feeling a strange mix of frustration and attraction.
her eyes narrow playfully. “well, i’m here now. so, let’s finish it.”
“you want to help me?” you ask, genuinely surprised.
“why not?” she says, picking up another lego piece. “i’ve got nothing better to do, but come meet everyone first.”
you eventually shuffle into the living room, feeling like you’re walking into a lion’s den. the place is chaos: winter is trying to balance on one leg while shouting about something unintelligible, ningning is tearing into a bag of doritos with alarming enthusiasm, and giselle is inspecting your lego city sets like she’s discovered a hidden temple.
“look who it is!” ningning calls, grinning at you with chip dust on her fingers. “finally decided to join us, huh?”
“i was busy,” you say awkwardly.
“busy hiding,” karina corrects, plopping down next to you on the couch with a casualness that makes your heart rate spike.
“it’s not hiding,” you mutter. “it’s called strategic retreat.”
she shrugs. “sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.”
“she’s literally just a girl,” yunjin chuckles, taking the first sip off her beer before grimacing. “what is this shit?”
winter suddenly flops onto the floor in front of you, looking up with wide eyes. “so, do you build like castles and stuff? or just boring things like a roller coaster?”
you frown defensively. “it’s interesting!”
“wow,” winter says, clearly unimpressed. “that’s so nerdy, i think i just lost 10 cool girl points talking to you.”
you roll your eyes. “i didn’t think you had 10 cool girl points to begin with,” the room erupts in laughter, and you can’t help but feel a small sense of triumph.
“ohhh, she got heat!” giselle hollers, slapping her knee dramatically.
karina leans closer, her voice low enough that only you can hear. “you’re funny.”
you blink, caught off-guard by her close proximity. “uh, thanks?”
“don’t get too excited,” she adds, a bored look on her face. “i still think you’re weird.”
“i know,” you reply simply. “but that’s kind of my thing.”
somehow, yunjin turns the tv on and you end up in an impromptu mario kart tournament, with winter yelling instructions at everyone like an overly aggressive coach.
“take the shortcut, take the fucking shortcut!” she screams, despite the fact that she’s not even playing.
you manage to hold your own, despite ningning’s attempts to distract you by waving doritos in your face and giselle’s shameless attempts to use every dirty trick in the book. you’re neck and neck with karina, who’s surprisingly good and also surprisingly ruthless.
“you play dirty,” you accuse as she sends a blue shell your way, knocking you out of first place.
“you say that like it’s a bad thing,” karina retorts with a frown.
“it is a bad thing,” you insist. “only jerks use the blue shell.”
“guess i’m a jerk, then,” she adds, not looking the least bit sorry.
“you’re the worst,” you say, but there’s no heat behind it. in fact, you’re kind of having fun.
“i’ll take that as a compliment,” she says, flashing you a victorious smile as she crosses the finish line.
“you shouldn’t,” you mutter, trying to sound annoyed but failing miserably because karina just smiled at you for the first time in your life.
as the night goes on, the group slowly starts to mellow out. winter has passed out on the floor, snoring softly with an empty can of beer in her hand. ningning and yunjin are sprawled across the couch, humming some random tune and giselle is poking at your lego millennium falcon with a mix of fascination and confusion.
karina is still sitting next to you, her elbow resting on the back of the couch. “so,” she says, breaking the comfortable silence, “you really like legos, huh?”
you nod. “yeah. it’s kind of my thing.”
“i can see that,” she says, glancing around at your impressive collection. “it’s such a loser vibe.”
you raise an eyebrow. “hey, you’re not the first to say that.”
“i’ll make sure i’ll be the last.”
you laugh, feeling a strange warmth in your chest. “well, thanks, i guess. you’re not as scary as i thought you’d be.”
“i can be scary,” she insists, narrowing her eyes for effect. “maybe one day i can build one with you, deal?”
“woah, okay,” you say, grinning back. “a deal it is then.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
since that unexpected night at your dorm, things between you and karina have taken an unexpected turn. it’s not exactly friendship —karina’s still mean, still cold in that familiar way, but there’s a new rhythm to it, a pattern of teasing that you’re surprisingly getting used to.
whenever you pass each other in the hallways, she makes it a point to throw some kind of insult your way, usually with a smirk that’s equal parts mocking and playful.
“hey, loser,” karina calls as you’re trying to balance a stack of books in your arms.
“hi,” you shoot back with a smile, doing your best to sound unfazed.
“nice outfit,” she adds, eyeing your oversized hoodie and faded jeans. “did you rob a fucking thrift store for that look?”
“maybe,” you reply with a grin. “at least i’m consistent!”
she laughs (surprising everyone around her), her eyes flashing with that familiar mix of amusement and something else — something warmer. “still a loser, though.”
“and what about it?” you retort, shaking your head as she walks away, still chuckling.
it becomes a routine over the next few days. each time you cross paths, karina manages to find some new way to tease you. whether it’s about your outfit, your habit of carrying too many books, or your eternal obsession with legos, her comments are always mean-spirited, but in a way that somehow makes you smile because you know she doesn’t mean any of it.
“what, still working on legos?” she asks one morning, catching sight of a lego manual sticking out of your bag.
“yep,” you say brightly. “gotta build something, right?”
“how pathetic,” she drawls, but there’s a spark in her eyes that betrays the insult.
“at least i’m consistent,” you say, giving her a mock salute as you pass by.
not everyone understands the strange dynamic between you and karina. a group of boys in the football team who’ve been eyeing the whole thing decides to get in on the fun — or at least what they think is fun.
one afternoon, as you’re making your way across campus, you hear someone call out, “hey, loser! still building legos? what are you, five?”
you turn, your stomach sinking as you realize it’s not karina, but felix who is doing a poor imitation of her usual teasing. his tone lacks the playful edge, replaced with something harsher, meaner.
“seriously, you’re still into that kid stuff?” jake sneers, towering over you. “what, got nothing better to do with your life?”
you try to laugh it off, shaking your head. “just having fun, guys.”
“yeah, real fun,” taehyun mutters. “no wonder karina only talks to you to make fun of you.”
you flinch at that, the words cutting deeper than you expected. before you can think of a response, someone else steps in.
“hey! back off,” yunjin shouts, marching over with fire in her eyes. “what’s your problem?”
they all look momentarily startled, but jake just shrugs. “we were just joking around, yunjin. it’s not a big deal.”
“well, it’s not fucking funny to me,” yunjin snaps, her voice loud enough to draw attention. “and if i see you messing with her again, you’ll have to deal with me. got it?”
they mumble a few half-hearted apologies before retreating, clearly not expecting to get yelled at in public.
yunjin turns to you, her expression softening. “are you okay?”
“yeah,” you say, trying to sound nonchalant. “i’m fine.”
your roommate isn’t convinced, knowing you better than anyone else. she pulls you aside and demands to know if this has been happening often. you try to brush it off, insisting it’s just dumb teasing, but she’s not having it.
“i’m telling karina,” she says, her voice firm.
“don’t,” you plead, but she’s already walking off, determined to set things right. “it literally just started today!”
when yunjin finds karina, she doesn’t hold back. “your stupid jock friends have been picking on y/n,” she says bluntly. “all thanks to your teasing.”
karina’s eyes narrow instantly. “what? who?”
“those idiots on the football team,” yunjin explains, crossing her arms. “they think it’s funny to imitate you.”
karina’s expression darkens, a mixture of anger and something else — something protective. “where is she?”
“probably at lunch by now,” yunjin replies. “but karina, don’t just—”
“i’m going,” karina interrupts, her voice leaving no room for argument. she stalks off toward the cafeteria, her jaw set and her steps quick.
you’re sitting alone in the cafeteria, picking at your food and trying not to let the earlier incident get to you, but before you can get too lost in your thoughts, you hear a familiar voice.
“hey assholes,” karina calls sharply, her voice loud enough to turn heads. “got something to say to y/n here?”
you look up, startled, as she strides over to your table with the same jocks from before trailing behind her. they look a lot less cocky now, their heads bowed in a mix of embarrassment and fear.
“uh, we’re sorry,” felix mumbles first, barely making eye contact. “we were just messing around.”
yunjin’s eyes flash dangerously. “yeah? well, don’t. she’s off-limits.”
“seriously,” karina deadpans, her arms crossed - voice cold and mean. “if i see you pricks messing around with her again, you can say goodbye to your scholarships.”
you sit there, stunned and unsure of how to react. you weren’t expecting this; definitely not karina marching in like a one-woman army to defend you.
the boys mumble a few more apologies before scurrying off, leaving you alone with karina and yunjin.
karina lets out a slow breath, her expression still serious. “you okay?”
“i’m fine,” you say, still processing everything. “you didn’t have to do that.”
“yes, i did,” karina replies, her voice softer now. “and…i’m sorry.”
you blink, caught off guard by the sudden apology. “for what?”
“for making it seem like it’s okay to be mean to you,” she says, her tone unusually sincere. “i didn’t mean for it to go that far.”
you shrug, trying to play it off. “it’s fine. i know you were just messing around.”
“still,” she insists, her eyes meeting yours with an intensity that makes your heart skip a beat. “i don’t want you to feel like that. not because of me.”
you manage a small smile, the warmth in her voice easing the lingering hurt. “thanks.”
karina looks almost relieved, her smile returning in full force. “so, we’re good?”
“we’re good,” you confirm, feeling a strange mix of gratitude.
and as karina sits down next to you, the rest of the girls start joining in.
you’re sitting in the crowded lunch hall, trying to enjoy your chips while listening to giselle talk about some wild party they’re planning. as usual, karina is scrolling through her phone like she’s half-bored, half-amused by everything around her.
you pop another chip into your mouth and crunch loudly, completely unaware of how it sounds in the echoing hall.
“jesus, y/n,” karina suddenly blurts out, her voice louder than necessary and back to her usual self. “could you chew any louder? i’m pretty sure they can hear you in the next building.”
you pause mid-chew, feeling a blush creeping up your neck. “sorry,” you mumble, covering your mouth with your hand. “i didn’t realize it was that bad.”
she rolls her eyes, but there’s a hint of a grin tugging at her lips. “you sound like a woodchipper. it’s a miracle i’m still sitting next to you.”
“you could always move,” you say, trying to sound unfazed.
“nah,” she replies, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. “someone’s gotta keep an eye on you, make sure you don’t choke on those chips.”
you catch the faintest smirk on her face, and despite her words, you can’t help but smile. “you’re all heart, karina.”
she shrugs, pretending not to care. “you’re lucky i like charity cases.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
one day, karina manages to pull you out of your room and invites you over at the campus skate park. she’s doing tricks on her board like it’s the most natural thing in the world. you, on the other hand, are struggling just to stand on the board without wobbling like a newborn deer.
“come on, y/n,” she taunts, skating over to you with a smirk. “it’s not that hard. just balance, push off, and roll. even a baby can handle that.”
“easy for you to say,” you mutter, trying not to fall over.
she rolls her eyes but skates closer, reaching out to steady you. “here, let me show you. put one foot here, and the other here,” she instructs, positioning your feet.
you follow her instructions, but as soon as you try to push off, you lose your balance and crash to the ground with a loud thud.
her teasing expression instantly shifts to one of panic, her eyes wide as she crouches down next to you. “oh my god, are you okay? did you break anything?”
“just my dignity,” you groan, rubbing your sore butt.
“idiot,” she mutters, but there’s no heat in her voice. she offers you a hand, pulling you back up with surprising gentleness. “you scared me, you know.”
“didn’t think you cared,” you tease, but there’s a warmth in your chest at her reaction.
“well, someone’s gotta keep you from killing yourself,” she says, her tone gruff but her grip lingering on your arm a bit longer than necessary. “just…try not to die, okay? i’m not ready to be a witness to your embarrassing end.”
“don’t worry,” you reply with a grin. “i’ll keep falling just to see that worried look on your face.”
she scoffs, but there’s no hiding the small smile that creeps across her lips. “you’re impossible.”
“and you’re mean,” you say, but there’s no real bite behind it.
“yeah, well,” she says, stepping back onto her board. “i only pick on the ones i like, loser.”
you watch as she skates away, your heart doing an odd little flip.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
it’s a rare moment of downtime in aespa’s usual whirlwind of rehearsals and chaos. the four of them are lounging in the practice room, sipping on energy drinks and half-heartedly tuning their instruments. giselle’s strumming random chords on her guitar, winter’s scrolling through her phone, and ningning’s lounging on the floor, doing absolutely nothing.
karina’s leaning against the wall, her eyes distant and her expression unusually serious. she’s been quieter than usual lately, and it hasn’t gone unnoticed by the others.
“yo karina,” giselle suddenly says, breaking the silence. “what’s up your ass? you’re freaking me out.”
“nothing,” karina replies quickly, a little too quickly.
“oh, please,” winter scoffs, looking up from her phone. “this is about y/n, isn’t it?”
karina’s face stiffens, and she tries to play it off with an eye roll. “why would it be about her?”
“uh, maybe because you’ve been obsessed with her for weeks?” ningning chimes in, smirking. “seriously, the way you look at her, it’s like you’re trying to set her on fire with your eyes.”
karina’s cheeks flush slightly, but she keeps her expression neutral. “i just think she’s funny, that’s all.”
“sure,” giselle says, drawing out the word like she’s speaking to a child. “and i think jacob elordi is funny too.”
she glares at her, but it’s half-hearted. “you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“oh, come on,” ningning continues, sitting up and crossing her legs. “it’s obvious you like her. the teasing, the constant calling her a loser, that thing where you get all weirdly protective of her? classic crush behavior.”
karina scowls, hating how transparent she apparently is. “she’s interesting.”
“interesting, huh?” winter teases, raising an eyebrow. “interesting enough to make you lose your cool every time she’s around.”
“whatever,” she mutters, turning away slightly. but her attempt at indifference only makes the others laugh harder.
“you know, y/n’s actually not bad-looking,” ningning comments casually. “she’s kind of cute in that nerdy way.”
“if she cut her hair a little and maybe wore something that wasn’t a hoodie three sizes too big,” giselle adds, grinning, “she’d probably have all the girls swooning.”
karina’s jaw tightens at that, her mood shifting from defensive to something closer to possessive. “she doesn’t need to change anything,” she says flatly.
“ohhh,” winter coos, catching the change in her tone. “you know, i actually heard a couple of girls in my class talking about how cute y/n is. one of them even said she’d ask her out if she got the chance.”
“what?” karina snaps, her eyes narrowing. “who said that?”
winter grins, delighted by karina’s reaction. “oh, i don’t know. just some girls, but they sounded pretty serious.”
karina stands up abruptly, her whole body tense. “which class is this?”
“whoa, chill,” giselle laughs, her eyes wide with amusement. “you’re not actually jealous, are you?”
her expression is a mix of annoyance and something deeper. “i just don’t like the idea of people trying to mess with her, that’s all.”
“sure,” ningning says, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “and i’m sure this sudden urge to go find her has nothing to do with jealousy.”
“whatever,” karina mutters again, already heading for the door. “i’ll be back.”
“where are you going?” winter calls after her, though she’s pretty sure she knows the answer.
“to make sure y/n’s okay,” karina replies over her shoulder, her voice leaving no room for argument.
the other members burst into laughter as she disappears down the hall, clearly unable to resist the pull she feels toward you.
she makes her way to the building where she knows your class is held. she doesn’t exactly know which room you’re in, but that doesn’t stop her from pacing the hallway, her eyes darting to every door like she’s on a mission.
she leans against the wall, trying to play it cool, but her mind is racing. the thought of someone else being interested in you makes her blood boil in a way she doesn’t fully understand. it’s not like she’s made her own intentions clear, but the idea of you with someone else, it just doesn’t sit right.
she waits outside the classroom building for what feels like an eternity, her patience wearing thin. students start filtering out, and karina’s eyes scan each face, looking for you. she feels a strange mix of anticipation and anxiety, and she hates it.
finally, she spots you. you’re walking out with your head down, clutching a book to your chest. when you look up and see karina, your eyes widen in surprise.
“karina?” you ask, stopping in your tracks. “what are you doing here?”
she shrugs, trying to act casual despite the fact that she’s clearly been waiting for you. “just passing by.”
“really?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. “you’re ‘just passing by’ outside my class?”
karina scratches the back of her neck, looking uncharacteristically awkward. “maybe i wanted to make sure you weren’t gonna trip over on the way to your next class.”
“are you serious?”
her expression shifts slightly, her usual confidence faltering. “maybe.”
you can’t help but smile, a mixture of disbelief and amusement on your face. “you’re unbelievable, you know that?”
“i know, i’ll walk you to your class anyways.
and for the first time, there’s no teasing, no sarcasm, just a moment of comfortable silence between the two of you.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
it’s a lazy afternoon, and you and karina are sitting on the floor of your dorm, legs stretched out as you dive into a bag of cheetos.
yunjin left the room to run errands, leaving you and karina in rare company. she came over to drop something off to yunjin, band stuff they said, even though your roommate could not be in one for the life of her.
“these are so good,” you mumble, licking the orange dust off your fingers as you looked at the screen in front of you.
karina watches you with an expression that’s equal parts disgusted and fascinated. “you’re a mess,” she comments, her tone as dry as ever.
“thanks,” you reply cheerfully, taking another handful of cheetos. but as you reach for your drink, you accidentally brush karina’s arm with your cheetos-stained fingers.
she flinches dramatically, her eyes wide. “oh my god, you did not just touch me with those filthy fingers.”
you stare at her, half-amused, half-embarrassed. “oh, come on. it’s not like it’s toxic waste.”
“might as well be,” she snaps, though there’s a glint of amusement in her eyes. “look at what you did!” she adds, pointing at the faint cheeto dust now smeared on her porcelain skin.
“sorry,” you laugh, grabbing a tissue and trying to wipe it off, only for karina to pull back like you’re trying to brand her.
“don’t touch me!”
“you’re such a drama queen,” you say, still laughing.
she scowls, but there’s no real anger behind it. “one of these days, you’re going to have to find someone else to hang out with.”
“and one of these days, you’re gonna admit you like hanging out with me, cheetos fingers and all,” you retort.
“don’t push your lock, loser,” her eyes narrow, but she can’t hide the small smile tugging at her lips. “come to our gig this weekend, please?”
you shook your head - unfortunately, you had plans. “i can’t, i promised mina i’d join her party tonight.”
and within a second, karina inches closer towards you — burning holes through your face. “mina? party? what?”
“oh, not that kind of party,” you don’t pick up on the way her tone changes. “it’s a chat party, we’re gonna play games all night and —“
“who is this mina?”
“she’s from japan, really cool and she sings too, sometimes she sends me legos from japan.”
“no, you’re coming to our gig,” she shakes her head, not wanting to hear another girl’s name coming out of your mouth. “and that’s final, yes?”
“yes, okay,” the directness catches you off guard but it doesn’t take long to convince you, specially if karina and her dirty stares are involved. plus, you could always join mina’s party later on.
a strange mix of emotions start brewing in your stomach — guilt, excitement and something you can’t quite name. you’ve never been good at reading people, and with karina, everything feels even more complicated. you’ve never liked anyone before, not like this, and the whole thing is so new, so raw. you don’t know if her insistence is just about wanting you in the crowd, or if it means something more.
you’re still trying to process it when karina stands up, stretching lazily. “i should probably get going,” she says, grabbing her jacket from the back of the couch. “ningning’s angry spamming me, i’m late to practice.”
“yeah,” you reply, watching her as she heads for the door. “have fun.”
“can i come over again later?”
you smile, feeling a heap of butterflies down your stomach. “anytime.”
she gives you one last, lingering look before she leaves, and you’re left alone in the suddenly too-quiet space, your mind racing with questions you don’t know how to answer as you head back to your room and turn your console on.
yunjin returns a while later, looking a bit worn out but still cheerful. “hey, i’m back,” she calls, tossing her keys on the table before popping her head in your room. “did i miss anything?”
you hesitate for a moment, then decide to just spill it. “karina invited me to their gig this weekend.”
her eyebrows shoot up. “and? are you going?”
“yeah,” you admit, feeling a mix of excitement and confusion. “she was really keen about it.”
she studies you for a moment, then sits down next to you, her expression serious. “what’s going on, y/n?”
“i just don’t get her,” you confess, your voice barely above a whisper. “one minute she’s mean, the next she’s nice. and now she’s acting all weird about me going to her gig. and she comes here to hang out with me but i know she’s a heartbreaker and i don’t want —“
“she likes you,” yunjin cuts you off bluntly, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“but what does that even mean?” you ask, feeling a surge of frustration. “i’ve never…don’t know how to deal with this. why?”
“it means she wants you there because she cares about you,” she explains patiently. “you know you’re a catch right? she even gets jealous when other girls are around you.”
“jealous?” you repeat, the word feeling foreign in this context.
“yes, jealous,” yunjin confirms, nodding. “karina’s not used to feeling like she’s not the center of someone’s attention, especially yours.”
you let out a sigh, your shoulders slumping. “this is all so confusing. i’ve never liked anyone before. i don’t know what to do.”
“you don’t have to do anything,” yunjin reassures you, her voice gentle. “just be honest with yourself. if you like her, let yourself like her. don’t overthink it.”
“easier said than done,” you mutter.
“i know,” yunjin agrees, her expression sympathetic. “but maybe this is one of those things you have to figure out as you go.”
you nod slowly, feeling a small sense of comfort in her words. “yeah, maybe.”
and as you sit there, replaying the conversation with karina in your mind, you realise that yunjin might be right. maybe this is something you have to navigate one step at a time, no matter how uncertain it feels. because despite everything, one thing is clear: you want to be there, even if you’re not entirely sure what it means.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the weekend arrives faster than you expect, and soon enough, you’re standing outside the venue for aespa’s gig. the usual nerves are there, made worse by the fact that this time, karina explicitly asked you to be here. yunjin’s with you, chatting excitedly about the show as you both head inside. your mind is elsewhere, tangled up in all the uncertainty that karina’s invitation has stirred up.
“you okay?” yunjin asks, nudging your shoulder as you both make your way to the backstage area.
“yeah,” you lie, forcing a smile. “nervous, i guess.”
“don’t worry,” she reassures you. “it’s gonna be fun, at least you’re finally with me instead of that musty corner.”
you try to take her words to heart, but as you step backstage, a new wave of anxiety hits. the chaotic energy of the crew prepping for the show is overwhelming, and you can’t seem to spot karina anywhere.
“she’s probably getting ready,” yunjin suggests, noticing your fidgeting.
“maybe,” you mutter, but something feels off.
you’ve been backstage before, but never like this. tonight, it’s different because you know karina specifically wants you here, which only makes her absence feel sharper.
after a few more minutes pass and there’s still no sign of karina, you make a decision. “i’m gonna go look for her,” you tell the girls.
“want me to come with?” winter asks.
you shake your head. “no, it’s fine. i’ll be quick.”
you wander through the backstage area, dodging equipment and crew members as you make your way toward the quieter sections.
that’s when you spot them: karina, standing in a dark corner with another girl, their heads close together.
a sinking feeling forma in your chest. something about the way they’re standing feels too intimate, like you’re intruding on a private moment. you can’t make out their conversation, but then you hear your name.
“y/n? really?” the girl scoffs, her voice dripping with disdain. “you’re actually interested in that loser?”
you recognise the voice now — it’s soyeon, karina’s ex. the one you’d seen flirting with karina before, she was the ex.
karina’s voice is low, almost defensive. “she’s not a loser.”
“could’ve fooled me,” soyeon replies, her tone harsh. “come on, karina, you know she’s just a rebound.”
you feel your face flush, a mix of anger and humiliation burning in your chest. part of you wants to step forward, to confront them both, but your feet feel like they’re stuck to the ground.
then, suddenly, soyeon closes the gap between them, her lips crashing against karina’s. for a moment, karina doesn’t pull away. instead, she seems to hesitate, caught between resisting and giving in.
that’s all it takes for you to turn and leave, your heart pounding in your chest. you push your way through the backstage crowd, barely registering yunjin calling after you. everything feels like a blur, like the world has tilted sideways and you’re the only one struggling to stay upright.
you’re back at your dorm before you even know how you got there. you slump onto your bed, trying to make sense of what you just saw. your emotions are a confusing mess of hurt, anger, and a crushing sense of betrayal.
all the uncertainty you’d been feeling, all the questions you’d tried to answer, now feel pointless.
you’re not sure how much time passes, mina and some of your friends are on the other end of the screen, but then there’s a loud knock at the door.
“y/n! open up!”
it’s karina’s voice, and she sounds angry.
“damn y/n,” mina chuckles. “who did you piss off?”
you hesitate for a moment, but then you get up and open the door. “i’ll be back guys, won’t be long,” you hear a bunch of ‘ooooh’s’ from them before pause.
your expression is blank when you open the door — karina storms in, her face flushed and her eyes filled with anger.
“why did you not show up?” she demands, her voice sharp. “i told you i wanted you there!”
“yeah, well,” you say, your voice colder than you intended. “i had a good reason.”
she frowns, clearly confused. “what are you talking about?”
“i saw you,” you snap, the words tumbling out before you can stop them. “back there, with soyeon. i heard what she said, and then you kissed her.”
her eyes widen, and for a moment, she looks genuinely shocked. “wait, you were there?”
“obviously,” you say bitterly, crossing your arms. “or do you just make out with your ex in front of your toys at every gig?”
karina’s face hardens, her anger replaced by a mix of guilt and frustration. “it wasn’t like that.”
“oh, really?” you challenge. “because it sure looked like that from where i was standing.”
“she came onto me,” karina insists, her voice desperate now. “i didn’t want it, y/n. you have to believe me, you mean so much more to me than you think.”
“i don’t have to do anything,” you say, feeling a surge of hurt rise up again. “you asked me to come, and then you turned around and kissed her. how am i supposed to believe anything you say?”
she runs a hand through her hair, her frustration evident. “it was a mistake, okay? i was just caught off guard.”
“well, congratulations,” you say, your voice breaking slightly. “you definitely caught me off guard too.”
“please, y/n, you have to understand. i didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” she takes a step closer, her expression pleading.
“it’s my fault for believing something.”
“what are you saying?” she asks, her voice almost panicked. “i do like you, way much more than i’d like to admit.”
“i don’t know if i can do this,” you admit, your chest tightening with the words. “i don’t know how to deal with all of this — specially not when you’re like this.”
karina’s face crumples slightly, but she tries to hold it together. “y/n, i’m sorry. i really am. i don’t know why i did it. maybe it’s because i’m a mess, but i don’t want to lose you.”
“you might have already,” you say, feeling tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, but refusing to let them fall.
“don’t say that,” she whispers, her voice filled with a kind of desperation you’ve never heard before.
you take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “i need time, karina. i need to figure out what this means for me.”
her expression softens, and she nods slowly. “okay. i’ll give you time. just don’t shut me out completely, please.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the days after the argument are rough, to say the least. you do everything you can to avoid karina —ducking into classrooms when you spot her in the hallway, sitting at different lunch tables, even changing your usual route to class.
the hurt and confusion from that night still linger, like a bruise that refuses to heal. you thought seeing her with soyeon would make things clearer, that it’d help you move on, but instead it’s just left you feeling hollow.
karina tries to reach out, of course. you get texts, missed calls, and the occasional knock on your dorm door that you pointedly ignore. the messages range from desperate pleas to frustrated demands, but you’re too tired to engage, too confused to even know where to begin.
“you can’t avoid her forever, you know,” yunjin says one evening as she flops down next to you on the couch.
“i’m doing a pretty good job of it so far,” you mumble, keeping your eyes fixed on your phone screen, pretending to be engrossed in bitlife.
“seriously, y/n,” she continues, her tone more concerned now. “you need to talk to her. she’s been a wreck.”
“oh, so now i’m supposed to feel bad for her?” you snap, the words more bitter than you intended.
she sighs, rubbing her temples. “no, but shutting her out completely isn’t going to fix anything. i know you’re hurt, and you have every right to be, but maybe there’s more to this than you realise.”
“more?” you ask incredulously. “like what? she kissed her ex. right after telling me she wanted me at the gig.”
“i get it, but people make mistakes. and from what the others told me, karina really does care about you and she’s really trying to show it.”
“well, she’s doing a great job of showing the opposite,” you snap, leaning back into the couch.
“you need to hear her out,” she insists. “even if it’s just to get closure.”
“yeah, maybe.”
the next day, you’re in the middle of a study session in the library when giselle, winter and ningning appear, sliding into the chairs across from you. you glance up, already dreading what’s coming.
“we need to talk,” ningning says, her voice gentle but firm.
you sigh, closing your textbook. “if this is about karina, i don’t want to hear it.”
“too bad,” giselle replies, folding her arms. “because we’re not here for your approval. we’re here to make you face reality.”
you glare at her, but there’s no real anger behind it, just exhaustion. “and what’s reality, exactly?”
“reality is that karina’s a mess without you,” winter speaks, her eyes sincere. “she’s been snapping at everyone, barely talking to us. it’s like she doesn’t know how to function.”
“and you think that’s my problem?” you ask, trying to sound indifferent.
“yes,” giselle answers bluntly. “because whether you want to admit it or not, you care about her.”
“i don’t know if i do anymore,” you confess, your voice small.
“you do,” winter says softly. “and she knows she messed up. she’s trying to fix it, but she can’t if you won’t even talk to her.”
you feel a pang of guilt at their words, but the hurt from seeing karina and soyeon still lingers, like a wound that hasn’t scabbed over yet. “i don’t know if i can forgive her.”
“no one’s saying you have to forgive her right away,” ningnint replies, her tone surprisingly gentle. “talk to her. let her explain.”
later that night, you’re alone in your room, staring at your phone. karina’s last text is still on the screen: “please, y/n. just talk to me. i miss you.”
you close your eyes, trying to fight the urge to respond. everything about this situation feels messy and complicated, and you hate it. you’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and you don’t know how to navigate it. the push and pull of your emotions is exhausting, and you’re torn between wanting to hear her out and wanting to protect yourself from more hurt.
as you sit there, you hear yunjin’s words echoing in your head: “you need to hear her out, even if it’s just to get closure.”
you let out a frustrated sigh, tossing your phone onto the bed. you know she’s right, and deep down, you know that ignoring karina isn’t going to make the pain go away.
the next morning, you wake up with a sense of determination you haven’t felt in days. you’re not sure if you’re ready to forgive karina, but you know you can’t keep running from her either.
you spend most of the day debating when and where you’ll finally confront karina. your nerves are on edge, your thoughts a jumbled mess of everything you want to say, but also everything you’re afraid to admit.
after your last class, you find yourself making your way toward the music building. it’s the only place you’re sure karina will be — probably rehearsing with the others, maybe alone. the whole walk there, your heart hammers in your chest, and you can’t stop fidgeting with the strap of your bag.
you’ve rehearsed a thousand things to say in your head, but as you approach the familiar practice room, your mind goes blank. for a brief moment, you consider turning around and leaving. but before you can talk yourself out of it, the door swings open.
karina stands there, her eyes widening in surprise. for a second, neither of you speaks.
“y/n,” she breathes, her voice barely above a whisper.
you swallow, trying to keep your voice steady. “can we talk?”
“yeah,” she says immediately, stepping aside to let you in. the room is empty, dimly lit, and filled with the lingering sound of guitar chords from earlier practice.
you both take a seat on the edge of the small stage, the air heavy with tension. karina’s gaze is cautious, like she’s afraid of making the wrong move.
“i know i don’t have the right to ask anything from you,” she starts, her voice low and raw. “but i really need you to hear me out.”
you nod slowly, bracing yourself for whatever she’s about to say.
“that night,” she continues, her eyes filled with regret, “i messed up. i let soyeon get too close, and i didn’t stop her soon enough. but i swear, y/n, it didn’t mean anything. it was a stupid moment of weakness.”
you feel a twinge of hurt, but you try to stay composed. “then why didn’t you pull away sooner?”
she looks down, as if the weight of your question is too much to bear. “i don’t know,” she admits, her voice breaking slightly. “maybe it’s because i was scared of how real things were getting with you. or maybe it’s because i’ve always been too good at sabotaging anything good in my life.”
“so, what am i supposed to do?” you ask, feeling a mix of frustration and vulnerability. “just pretend it never happened?”
“no,” karina says quickly, shaking her head. “i don’t expect that. i want you to know that you’re not just another person to me. you’re not a rebound, and you’re not a distraction.”
you take a deep breath, trying to process her words. “then what am i, karina? because honestly, i have no idea where i stand with you.”
her eyes soften, voice quieter than before. “you’re the first person who’s made me want to try. really try. and that scares the hell out of me, but i don’t want to lose you.”
you sit there for a moment, the words hanging heavy in the air. this whole situation is still new, still confusing, but her sincerity feels more genuine than anything you’ve felt from her before.
“i’m scared too,” you finally admit, your voice barely audible. “i don’t know how to do this, karina. i’ve never liked anyone before. not like this.”
her expression softens further, and she reaches out hesitantly, her hand stopping just short of yours. “we don’t have to figure it all out right now. i just want to be honest with you. and if you’re willing to give me another chance, i promise i’ll do better.”
“okay,” you say quietly, finally meeting her gaze. “one chance, karina. that’s all you get.”
her eyes light up with a mix of relief and something else, something that looks a lot like hope. “i won’t mess it up. i swear.”
you manage a small smile, feeling a tiny weight lift from your chest. “we’ll see.”
the days that follow are tentative, filled with awkward moments and intimate conversations. karina is different now — not softer, exactly, but more attentive. she tries to be less mean in her teasing, though the familiar edge still slips out sometimes.
“nice shoes,” she says one morning as you’re both walking to class. “you finally decide to wear something that doesn’t look like it came from a dumpster?”
you roll your eyes, but there’s no real bite in her words anymore. “you’re still terrible at compliments.”
“working on it,” she admits with a smile.
the rest of the girls notice the shift too, specially yunjin, who seems pleased with the progress.
“told you it’d work out,” she says one evening as you both sit in your dorm, watching another episode of the witcher.
“we’re not exactly there yet,” you warn, but there’s a small smile on your lips.
“well, you’re getting there,” yunjin replies confidently. “and that’s enough for now.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
then comes another gig, this time with less anxiety and more anticipation. you’re backstage again, but this time, karina finds you before the show starts.
“you came,” she says, a genuine smile breaking across her face.
“of course i did,” you reply, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. “i said i’d give you a chance, didn’t i?”
her eyes soften, and she reaches out, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “and i’m not wasting it.” as she heads for the stage, she throws a glance over her shoulder. “stay close this time.”
when the music starts, you find yourself smiling, the weight of the past few weeks finally beginning to lift. you don’t have all the answers yet, but for now, just being here feels like enough.
the end.
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ode2rin · 7 months ago
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1 | ANYONE BUT YOU .ೃ
summary. as lines get blurred, hearts get flustered, and a scheme ensues, your brother's best friend suddenly seems way more interesting than he used to be.
content/warnings. 5k+ wc (part 1/3) reader has little to no college friends | reader hates kaiser's guts | PROTECTIVE kaiser lol | | pet names (dollface) & a lot of profanity (it's kaiser) | minimal proofread
💭 masterlist | next part
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“I’m sorry, I don’t think I can go with you anymore.”
Your ears were ringing.
After the words hung over the line, a heavy silence descended, punctuated only by the dull thud of your heartbeat echoing in your ears. The phone line seemed to distort, and the world beyond reduced to a distant murmur as a disorienting ringing filled your ears. Yet, despite the shock rippling through, you managed to maintain a facade.
“Ah, I see. It’s no problem. See you around!” Your chirped voice made you cringe internally, but it was a better front than sounding like a defeated kid whose mom said no over a piece of candy at a grocery store.
Before he could say anything else, you clicked the end button faster than he could spew some tacky excuse. Throwing your phone to the side, you settled onto your bed, lying on your back, staring at the uninteresting ceiling of your room.
Sure, it was no problem at all— the music festival was just six hours away, and your date had just canceled on you over the phone. It’s no big deal facing your college blockmates without a companion as initially planned, and it’s totally not a problem that you will most likely be a third– hell, a seventh wheel, actually, and have them talk behind your back – speculating about why you're going alone or if you were just making it up that you had someone to bring.
Yes, it’s not a fucking problem at all.
You don’t even like the artist lineup, anyway (maybe you’re mildly interested with one band that’s attending).  You wouldn’t bother if you weren’t just a sophomore still trying to find a group of friends you can call your own. It's embarrassing enough that freshmen even had it better than you. It’s not a race, for sure, but in college– the truth lies blatant that support systems help. A lesson you learned the hardest way.
“Y/N? Are you in there?” Three soft knocks on your door and a muffled voice, surely coming from your older brother, interrupted your pity party.
“Yes. Come in,” you confirmed. The door creaked open, revealing a mop of magenta hair leaning over your door frame.
“There’s food downstairs. We ordered your favorite.”
“We?”
“Kaiser is downstairs.”
Of course, he is. 
Your brother’s best friend must have really taken it to heart when your mom told him he can treat your family as his own. Too deep into his heart, if you could comment. You see him around the house more than you see your parents, and if that wasn’t tiresome enough, he’s literally a damn superstar in your university. Every corner, every room, in halls and library, everyone can’t seem to be over his name like a broken record.
You wouldn’t be this annoyed, hostile even, if said man was just as nice as your brother. But instead, he was far by the most obnoxious, foul-mouthed, arrogant prick you’ve ever known. Alexis should have never kicked some ball with that conceited oaf a decade ago. Life would have been so much better. But no— reality is, the bane of your existence in the form of blonde hair and sharp blue eyes, is in your house’s kitchen, probably gulping down your favorite drinks in the fridge. 
If you can’t seem to have friends, your older brother seems to be goddamn bad at picking his.
“Hey, dollface. Missed me?” Speak of the damn devil and he shall appear.
The first thing you’re met with after coming down is a sight of Michael Kaiser, sitting high and comfortably on one of the counter’s bar stools. Your gaze trails down to his hand where you see a peek of his crown tattoo— and would you look at that? He’s holding a can of your Coke Zero.
“Oh, so that’s why my life was going sideways again,” you feigned a sigh in disappointment, making sure it was loud enough for him to hear, “because you’re back.”
In your unwanted years of knowing this guy, you’ve soon realized that none of your words, no matter how sharp or snarky they get, would ever faze him. Evidence would be how he just openly chuckled at your remark. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I missed you and your smart mouth, too. Don’t worry.”
“Trust me, worry is not in the list of emotions I would ever feel for you.”
“Well, does attraction make it to the list?”
Years ago, perhaps it would have. Not that he needs to know—no chance. Your silly childhood crush on him was your deepest, darkest mistake. You might be overdramatic, but this was Michael Kaiser, and god, you would rather get caught having feelings for anyone but him.
Rolling your eyes at him, you sneer, “You wish.”
“Oh, trust me, I do wish,” he mocks your tone.
“Fuck off.” 
“That won’t get rid of me, I’m afraid,” he shrugs before winking at you. You shook your head in annoyance.
You took the seat across from him and settled. You were about to lean to reach the box of pizza at the other end of the countertop, when Kaiser reached for it first and placed it in front of you.
You turned to look at him, half expecting a smirk or yet another wink from the blonde, but instead, he was preoccupied browsing on his phone as if his body moved on its own to attend to you.
You shrugged off the weird occurrence and turned all attention to the pizza and its heavenly scent sipping through the gaps of its box, just in time for Alexis to take the seat next to his best friend. You drowned the noise of their conversation as they started talking about last away games.
Your brother and Kaiser had been the most valuable players of your university’s soccer team for as long as you’ve remembered. They were two years older, so by the time you entered university, they were already making big names in the field. Rumors had it that there were already offers lining up at their feet.
If you come to think of it, it wouldn’t be this hard making friends if you would just be vocal about being Alexis Ness’ younger sibling, but the limelight and pretentious popularity it came with was something you wouldn’t wish upon yourself. You wanted real and genuine friends, not people who wanted to be around you because it was a step closer to your brother and his best friend.
Like earlier, Alexis’ voice came reaching your eardrums, snapping you out of your thoughts. After hearing what he had to ask, though, you wished you had a way to physically block out his words.
“Are you not going to get ready for the festival?” your brother asked, meanwhile, his dear friend seemed to take great interest in what you’re about to say as both of them peered over you.
“Not going anymore,” you said, as nonchalant as you could to play pretend.
“Why? You’ve been looking forward to it the whole week.”
Heat crept into your ears and cheeks as embarrassment filled you. Sure, you might not be prancing around being all excited about it, but if your brother was able to notice it, your enthusiasm must have been evident then. God, you felt like an utter fool now.
“It got canceled,” you looked away from them.
Alexis looked at you with furrowed brows, “What do you mean? It’s not–”
“My date canceled on me. I’m not going anymore to save face and not make a fool out of myself. There, happy?” you snapped.
Before you could even feel the guilt from bursting out unprovoked to your brother, you swiftly got up from the stool heading back to your room, leaving the two of them in the kitchen looking concerned contrarily. One with worried eyes glancing at your room hesitantly, and the other one with a clenched jaw and narrowed eyes.
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It seemed everyone was testing your patience today, as for the second time, your ears rang—not from a last-minute cancellation this time, but from the persistent sound of your ringing phone.
Your heavy eyes fluttered open, weighed down by the sleep from your ignoring-the-world nap after the exchange with your supposed date and your brother. Disoriented and groggy, you reached out, fingers fumbling to check the caller deserving of your unrelenting fury.
Kaiser, the screen read, and suddenly, the urge to throw your phone at the nearest wall almost overwhelmed your senses.
But you answered the call anyway, because logic says that he was still your brother’s closest, and sometimes, that warranted a call that might be about him.
“I swear to god this better be important–”
“Get ready,” he interrupted.
“What?”
“Look out your window.”
Groaning, you rose to your feet, moving your drapes aside to see what awaited outside.
Outside your house’s gates, a midnight blue sports car, all too familiar, was parked across the driveway. Its owner leaned lazily over its door, one hand in his pocket while the other held his phone pressed to his ear, looking right back at you with that shit-eating grin.
“What the hell are you on?” you muttered into the phone.
You instantly closed the drapes after meeting eyes with him.
It’s infuriating—He’s infuriating. But damn, does he look good when he smiles like that. And it’s not helping your case that he was clad in loose-fitting denim pants and a black shirt, sufficiently showcasing both his tattoo and his lean yet toned build.
It’s sorcery how he makes simple and ordinary clothing look like it was screaming high-end and luxury. Only he can do that, you admit.
“As I said, get ready,” he repeated over the phone, “We only have less than two hours before your music festival or something starts.”
He’s taking me to it? “Why?”
Only one word in response, yet the two of you understood what you’re pertaining to. Silence filled the line for a moment before you heard a subtle click of his tongue.
“Because you look ugly when you sulk,” and he hung up.
You should be irritated at him hanging up abruptly and calling you ugly, but for some reason you don’t know, it puts a smile on your face. 
The first one today.
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Kaiser wishes he had a bigger car— which one would deem ridiculous, given that his car could easily match the price of two or even three minivans.
But if it meant having you sit not so close that your scent infiltrates his senses beyond his sound judgment, he’d gladly trade his lambo for a minivan any day.
You were intoxicating— not akin to the grip of liquor, because it would be inadequate in comparison. But rather intoxicating in the same way as the irresistible magnetism that beckons a madman to its vices.
And he must be really mad because you weren’t even sitting shoulder-to-shoulder close to him. You’re sitting comfortably at the passenger seat, a good distance in between, and yet he acts like a raging teenager who got locked up with his crush in the utility room. It is absolutely embarrassing, even for someone like him.
“Did Alexis ask you to do this?” you suddenly inquired, your gaze fixed on your side of the car.
Thank heavens you broke the silence first, because who knows what ungodly phrases he would come up with in an attempt of small talk with you?
“No. Though I bet he would have taken you himself,” he snorted, of course your brother would, “If our coach weren’t so pissed at him these days.”
Ah, so that explained why you hadn't seen Alexis around the house before hopping into Kaiser's car.
Momentarily, you turned to him. It was so swift that he might have missed it if he wasn’t so hyper aware of your every move in this damn confined space. “Is he in trouble?” you inquired to the blonde, your voice concerned and hesitant.
“Nothing you have to worry about, doll.”
“Stop with the nicknames,” you hissed, attempting to intimidate. 
Unfazed, he countered with a cheeky “Make me,” under his breath. His smirk practically audible, even without you glancing his way.
Silence overtook between the two of you once more. You fixated on the road ahead, noting the nearing destination as the glow of the festival stage lights peeked into view.
It’s your chance— your chance to release the words that have lingered at the edge of your tongue since he urged you to get ready almost an hour ago. You stole a glance at the man driving beside you. His eyes focused on the road, his left hand steady on the steering wheel while his timepiece-adorned hand rested comfortably on the gearshift. In another frame of mind, you might have found yourself lost in the rhythm of his long, slender fingers tapping against it. You snapped out of it before he could point it out.
You stole one last glance before turning away to whisper, “Thank you… Kaiser.”
Instead of saying welcome like a polite person would, your companion would of course, choose to say something as, “You owe me something now.”
Of course, you thought. Mentally rolling your eyes, you ask, resigning to his antics, “What do you want?” 
“Call me by my name.”
“Did you not hear? I said, thank you Kai–”
“The one you used to call me.”
Mikka.
It was a silly nickname you gave him– back when Alexis first brought him home for snacks nearly ten years ago. He and Alexis were eleven, and you were barely nine.
You remembered the blonde kid, all sweaty in his mud-stained clothes, clutching a worn-out ball by his hip, his gaze fixed on you with curiosity. “This is Kaiser,” your brother introduced, but the blonde stranger approached you, extending his hand.
“I’m Michael.”
“That’s… long.”
“What?”
“Your name– it’s long,” you echoed, looking up at him, “can I call you ‘Mikka’?”
“What?” Kaiser’s deep voice sliced through your reminiscence. “You had no problem calling me that before,” he pointed out.
“That’s before you beat up the boy you knew I like,” you scoffed at him, a familiar pettiness clouding your mind.
He chuckled at your retort, seemingly lost in his own memories. “Beat him up on the soccer field, you mean,” he corrected, though he wouldn’t particularly mind if it were an actual fight.
“Same thing.”
“Oh, come on! It was highschool!”
“Your point?” you countered.
“He was a snotface, anyway.” he rationalized.
“He was nice to me!”
“I suggest you rather get a dog instead— if nice is all you need. I heard dogs are fun to be around,” he sneered, “What do you think of pomeranians?”
You brushed off his question, preferring the depths of silence over the hypothetical responsibility of tending to a pup that bore more than a passing resemblance to him, both in appearance and, perhaps, in demeanor.
“I knew agreeing to come here with you was a mistake,” you sighed, exasperation lacing your words.
Surprisingly, Kaiser offered no retort. Taking his silence as a cue for your own, you settled into quietness, hoping for a peaceful remainder of the drive. Minutes drifted by until Kaiser broke the stillness with a whisper loud enough for you to catch.
“He was a slimy jerk,” he began, pausing as if hinting his careful choice of words, “and he was nice to you because he was trying to get into your pants.”
“How did you know?” you asked, meek and shy, fumbling with your fingers in your lap.  Seeking love advice and opinions from none other than the mighty Kaiser seemed absurd, but maybe, wisdom might sometimes fare well with age.
“Trust me when I say I know how boys can be,” he scoffed, a displeased furrow settling in his brows. “He wasn't the gentleman you thought he was.”
“And you? Are you a gentleman?”
Before you could stop your thoughts from escaping your rebellious mouth, the words spilled out like water through a breached dam. The lack of response from him compelled you to chew on your lip and fix your gaze on the road, refusing to spare even a glance his way, despite feeling his stare burning into the side of your face.
Meanwhile, Kaiser was aware he might be staring too long at your side for someone controlling a vehicle, but he couldn't help it. Not when you caught him off guard with a simple question, and especially not when you were trying so hard to avoid looking at him, your discomfort palpable in the air. You looked so cute—it made his mouth twitch.
Staring ahead at the road, he contemplated your question, needing no more than a minute to reach his conclusion.
When a man looks at his best friend's younger sibling in a way he shouldn’t, he’s not deserving of the title “gentleman.”
He was far from it, he concluded. With one last glance thrown your way before bringing the car to a full stop, he muttered in an uncharacteristically soft tone.
“Especially not one, doll.”
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“Y/N! Over here!” a familiar voice cut through the cacophony, prompting you to scan the crowd until you finally spotted them.
Relief flooded over you at the sight of a familiar face amidst the crowd. Checking your phone had proven to be a wise decision; otherwise, you might have spent the night searching aimlessly through the vast expanse of the venue.
The venue stretched out before you was a kaleidoscope of sights and sounds that danced upon the senses. Laughter and chatter mingled with applause and the occasional roar of approval as performers graced the stage. 
Everywhere you looked there was movement and so much life. Yet amidst the bustling crowd and pulsating music, one figure occupied your thoughts more than anything else.
Kaiser's towering 6-foot frame loomed behind you, his broad shoulders carving a path of confidence through the crowd. He stood behind you like an immovable rock amidst a rushing river. And if your senses weren't deceiving you, you swore you felt the occasional brush of his hand against the small of your back, gently guiding you forward.
He was so close behind you that his breath on your nape soaked into your skin like ointment— warm to the touch, yet icy on your spine.
“Where's your date?” one of your blockmates inquired after the initial pleasantries were exchanged.
The question lingered, and suddenly, all eyes were on you. Mentally counting heads, you realized you were really on track to be the seventh wheel if you attended without a companion. Speaking of companions— you turned behind you with the intention of introducing Kaiser (not that they didn’t know him already), but your intention faltered when you noticed the scowl on his face.
“I’m the date, if you couldn’t tell,” he interjected. 
From his vantage point, he observed the widening of your eyes at his declaration. Yet, when he didn’t hear any immediate retaliation from you, he flashed you— and everyone else watching— a lopsided smirk. He sensed your blockmates’ curiosity lingering, some perhaps wondering if he was truly dating you. But none of them dared to probe further—maybe because he wasn't exactly the approachable type.
After a few murmurs of ‘oh’ and ‘really’ from your blockmates, they returned their attention to the stage, where the next performer was beginning their pre-performance monologue.
You, on the other hand, look like you were out for his blood from how you’re glaring at him. “Are you out of your mind?” you hissed under your breath, just loud enough for him to hear.
Yes. Perhaps he was. Irrationality had seized him upon hearing the question. After all, he was there with you, visible for all to see. Did they not see him? Did he look like a fucking chair to those people? Common sense must be a luxury these days, given its absence in this situation.
Yet, a small voice of reason within him attempted to intervene, suggesting that the question might have stemmed from genuine curiosity.
As his best friend's younger sibling, seeing the two of you together wasn't an unusual occurrence for those who attend the same university. They likely concluded that your presence with him at the music festival was simply a matter of normal friendship (which it was, but they don’t have to know that, nor does he desire for these extras to reduce it to just that).
“I’m helping you save face like you said earlier,” he tells you, still wearing that annoying smirk.
“How does telling them you’re my date help me save face?” If anything, you'd be hiding on campus after his stunt. You could only hope words won’t travel fast.
“Would you rather I tell them I'm chaperoning you because some jerk canceled on you?”
Your words stalled at the base of your throat, unable to counter his remark. That shut you up, much to your chagrin. He was right.
“Yeah. That’s what I thought,” he quipped, grinning at your silence. “Come closer, there’s a lot of people.”
You huffed in irritation and decided to ignore him behind you, determined to make the most of your experience here. You’d let this slide for now. After all, he was here because of you.
But it wasn’t too long before you realized that ignoring him would be as futile as trying to pluck roses without being pricked by the thorns. You knew very well that this man thrives in getting under people’s skin.
“You should be flattered.”
Genuinely appalled, you ask, “I’m sorry?”
“Accepted.”
If it wasn’t night time and the blaring lights were replaced by the sun, he could have seen the twitch that your eye did at his retort.
At this point, murder is a tempting option. Sure, he’s taller and much bigger in physique terms, but you have the rage for it. Just one more insufferable antic—one more word— from this man and the whole university will be mourning their star player’s demise first thing tomorrow morning. 
You took a deep breath to calm your murderous nerves, “Is that so? What part of telling people— oh wait, our schoolmates who are probably whispering behind our backs— that you’re my date, is flattering to you?”
The asshole had the audacity to shrug, “Calling me yours was.”
“Well then, you should be flattered. Not me.”
“You don’t know how flattered I am to be yours,” he mused.
If you didn’t know any better, his attempt at flirting might have sent warmth to your cheeks. But this was Kaiser— no one can tell when he’s being serious or just being his usual menace self talking shit like he’s employed to do so. Good thing you had better plans than spend it on his guessing games.
Just when you’re about to berate him once more, words halted on your throat because of a sight you least expected to see.
Han— the guy you’ve been talking to for almost a month now. The same guy who was your supposed date, to be more specific.
“What? Cat got your tongue, doll?”
If cats come in the form of a familiar man who’s a few good meters away, clearly having the time of his life dancing with someone, and clearly showing no signs of unavailability to go to a music festival he asked you to, then yes, it got your tongue.
You stayed silent far too long for Kaiser’s patience. Your lack of snarky clapbacks were starting to unsettle him more than he would allow. Shifting closer to you, he followed your line of sight to see what got you stunned in silence.
Recognizing what, or rather who, got your attention, he turns to you, his voice coming out too indignant, “Do you know that guy?”
“Do you?” you counter, picking up on his tone being all too casual as if they’re acquainted. 
“He’s last week’s opposing team’s goalkeeper,” or was it ‘striker’? He couldn’t recall, so he’s more or less incompetent to him. One thing he remembers, however, “and he hates me.”
You threw him a glance, “Not surprised.”
“And do I give a fuck,” he shook his head, “Why do you keep looking at him?” Don’t fucking tell me.
Your answer wasn’t any better to what he was starting to imagine, “He was… supposed to be my date to this music festival,” you mumbled, looking down at your feet.
You didn’t want to see the look on Kaiser’s face, fearing you might see pity, and so you nailed your gaze to the ground. Totally oblivious of the man peering over you rather softly.
“Why can’t he then?” he asks, voice an octave lower.
“He said they had late notice training, so he can’t come.” 
“Well, that better be his fucking ghost yapping with a brunette then,” he scoffs, looking straight to the lying man who canceled on you.
Sick of his face and sloppy dance moves, Kaiser turned his gaze back at you, only to be filled with rage because of it.
You look sad— and it made his blood boil. Not towards you, but for you.
“Y’know what? Let’s go there,” he urged, head pointing at where Han was.
Is he fucking crazy? You immediately shook your head at his scandalous suggestion. You might be feeling a little betrayed and angry, but rationality still had its hold on you— and it’s saying to not let Kaiser go with his idea. 
Instead, you tug on his forearm, eyes still on the floor before looking up at him, “Can we leave, please?” 
Kaiser was taken aback by your sudden meekness. He wasn’t used to this— to you, being all deflated and zoned out. He was used to your deadpan expressions and your eyes that seem to roll every time he utters a single word. He was used to you being, dare he say, feisty. 
And he would rather have you stay like that all day long, even when he’s the receiving end of it.
But this? You, saying please to him, of all people? He doesn’t like it. 
If this is how he gets to make you say please, then he doesn’t want it. Fuck that, and fuck that guy. How dare he.
Kaiser didn’t say anything back at your request, but you felt big calloused hands grasp on your hand still resting on his forearm. The next thing you knew, you were walking with him, shoulder-to-shoulder while his other hand was on yours guiding you to walk out of the scene.
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“If I see one—just one drop of tear, I swear I am turning this damn car around.” 
Your thoughts abruptly halted at the sound of Kaiser’s threat—his ultimatum, rather. It sounded more like a promise than a threat, and you knew this man well enough to understand that he never ate his words.
You shot him a glance and snickered. There was no way in high hell you’d ever cry in the same space where he was. It was the last thing you’d ever do, even if it meant convincing yourself that what you saw earlier was just a mere look-alike of Han.
“It's nothing. We aren’t even a thing,” you dismissed, your voice flat.
“But you thought you could be,” he countered, and damn if he wasn't right. “How do you even know him?”
“We're kind of talking, well, sort of—”
“Kind of? Sort of?” he scoffed.
“God—it's like a talking stage or something casual, Kaiser! There, got it?”
“That's not exclusive,” he remarked, adding insult to injury.
Irritation bubbled in your throat as his interrogation continued. But even before you could unleash your venom, you caught yourself. He was right. And while this man had never brought you good, it wasn't fair to make him the target of your bad.
“Yeah, it's not,” you admitted, a dry, humorless laugh escaping you. You recalled the brunette he danced with earlier. “I wasn't exclusive material for his reputation, I guess.”
What reputation? “That’s bullshit.” He gritted his teeth, his hand itching towards the steering wheel, clearly tempted to turn back to the festival.
“You said it yourself, he’s an athlete,” you pointed out, “You people never like to go exclusive with someone.”
“You people? Oh, please. Do not insult me by comparing me to the likes of him.”
The sass in his voice drew a chuckle from you. It was amusing how he said it with genuine horror, as if the mere idea of being associated with Han was an insult. “Why? Are you telling me you can commit to someone exclusively?”
“Someone like who? You?” He met your gaze briefly, “Absolutely.”
What the hell. “Stop messing around,” you snorted, effectively ending the conversation.
He was playing a dangerous game, saying that to you. Did he even realize what it did? Did he hear your stupid heart hammering in your chest? It was too loud, too obvious, a frantic drum solo against your ribs. 
And the realization settled— he made your heart flutter. 
His words, so simple, so casually tossed out, had landed like a bomb, sending shrapnel through your carefully constructed walls.
Michael Kaiser, of all people, made your heart flutter.
Suddenly, the air felt thin, the car an echo chamber amplifying the frantic rhythm of your traitorous heart. You knew you should scoff, dismiss it as another one of his infuriating jabs, but the truth was like a hot coal lodged in your throat.
“I’m not though,” he countered, eyes steady on the familiar road ahead. He sounded serious– too serious. 
As you were about to retort back, the car lurched to a stop, announcing your arrival. You glanced out the window, the familiar sight of your house doing little to ease the tension that had coiled tight in your stomach.
“We’re here,” Kaiser announced, his voice a low rumble.
Hurried and flustered by the unexpected shift in the conversation, your clammy hands fumbled with the buckle, the metal cold and unyielding against your sweaty palms. You tugged, then tugged again, frustration building with each failed attempt.
“Easy, doll.” 
Before you could protest, a large hand swooped in, effortlessly unlatching the buckle with a practiced flick. The sudden proximity sent a jolt through you, making your breath hitch. You met his gaze, his eyes a blazing blue as he held your stare for a beat too long before turning away.
Taking a deep breath, you composed yourself. You reached for the door handle, pushing it open and stepping out onto the familiar pavement. Before slamming the door shut, you paused, turning back to Kaiser with a newfound resolve.
Crouching down to meet his gaze, you surprised yourself with the words that tumbled out. “Be careful on your way home and,” you paused, “Thank you... Mikka.”
The nickname slipped out before you could stop it, leaving a blush blooming across your cheeks.
Before Kaiser could react, you slammed the door shut, the sound echoing in the quiet street. 
Mikka. He repeats your words in his mind.
He watched you disappear into your house, a slow grin spreading across his face. Only when you were safely inside did he start the car, the image of your flustered face lingering in his mind.
Damn it, doll.
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Meanwhile, you hurried to your room, clutching your chest where your heart still hammered a frantic rhythm.
Why did I call him that? you asked yourself.
The use of his nickname, a name you rarely uttered now, was a stark reminder that the two of you weren’t as close as you were younger.
It’s not a big deal, you tried to reason with yourself. He literally said you owed it to him, and calling it quits would be in the form of a stupid nickname. It doesn’t mean anything. Right— you were just returning a favor.
Your obvious self-deception was interrupted by the incessant buzzing of your phone, tossed carelessly on the bed. Picking up your phone, you opened one of the notifications, your breath catching in your throat.
It was a post on your university's gossip page, and there, plastered on the screen, was a picture of you and Kaiser. 
The image froze a moment in time, capturing him standing protectively behind you, his arms caging you against a barricade. Panic clawed at your throat. This picture, out in the open, could be misconstrued in so many ways. 
What were people going to think? Who took this photo, anyway?
Your eyes darted down the comment section, scrolling through a sea of unimaginable speculations, desperately searching for clues about the culprit.
Just then, a knock on the door startled you.
“Y/N? Can I talk to you?”
It was your brother— and his voice suggested he needed answers too.
Shit.
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note. first mini series lmao xD will add cw as i go!
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baocean · 5 days ago
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flirt - rafe cameron
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nice!rafe x reader college au warnings - smut, swearing, drinking summary - when rafe cameron finally takes an interest in you, you think its just another one of his one night stands
get comfy, grab a snack, because baby its longgger. i spent all day on this :) (hahaha ha ha h a) anyways, i wanted a nice, possibly even goofy rafe instead of him being batshit crazy all the time. so please forgive the personality change, we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programs soon.
when rafe cameron entered the room, everyone swooned. the football star of unc chapel hill, the hottest guy on campus, the flirt. everyone would gladly drop to their knees for him, except you.
it was like something was wrong with you. because you absolutely did not understand what everyone was always going on about over him.
sure, he was tall and handsome. he was good at football. but he seemed like a complete jerk.
you were a sophomore at unc, rafe was a junior. you’d become very familiar with the horror stories of being around and getting with rafe cameron.
he fucks girls then leaves them on read, picks fights for no reason, drinks way too much, and has a god awful ego.
you just did not get it.
at the party, in some worn out, dirty frat, you stood with your friends in a corner, people watching and giggling.
it had been a fun night so far, meeting new people and having a few too many shots.
but when rafe cameron and his friends walked into the room, everyone’s attention was on him.
you saw him, and wanted to scream ‘boooo’. rolling your eyes, you walked away from your enchanted friends towards the makeshift bar.
a drunk frat brother poured you another drink as your phone dinged. you went to check it, and when you looked back up, there he was, in all his materialistic glory.
“hey angel.” rafe lifted the corner of his lip, handing you the cup the brother just filled.
“thank you.” you smiled for only a second, hopefully fast enough he didn’t even see it, then started to walk away.
“hey, wait!” rafe called behind you, useless. you took a guess that tonight, it was your turn to be the special girl in rafe cameron’s life. you didn’t want that title.
your friends stared in bewilderment as rafe cameron stalks behind you, and pulls on your arm ever so gently to get you to turn around.
“what’s your name?” he asks, his face blank of any little smirk he had before.
“depends on who’s asking.” you shrug, taking a small sip of the juice from your cup. it was strong.
“me.” he clarified, a look on his face telling you should have already known that.
“oh. then, no.” you give him a sweet smile. he scoffs, shaking his head.
“and if it’s for my homeboy over there?” his long finger sticks out and points towards one of his friends, one you’d seen on campus before, but couldn’t put a name to his face.
“oh, if it’s for him, get him to come over here and i’ll tell him myself.”
“what’s your problem with me?” rafe’s face scrunched up, crossing his arms over his chest.
“i don’t have a problem, im just not interested.” you give him one last sickly sweet smile, before returning to the group of friends, patiently waiting to interrogate you.
it had only been a few days since your’s and rafe’s interaction. you hadn’t thought about it much, after getting home to your apartment and debriefing your friends, it had slipped out of your mind completely.
that was, until, you saw him walk into the coffee shop you were studying at.
immediately, you ducked your head, hoping not to get spotted.
he went up to the counter and ordered, fiddling with a straw in his hands, back turned to you.
you thought maybe he had missed you, so with a sigh of relief, you went back to your schoolwork.
“hi, angel.” you cringed at the voice. looking up, there he was.
he was wearing a bandana, tied around his head, some old carhart jacket. he had good style, you’ll give him that.
“oh, hey.” you tried your best to not sound so sincere.
“how’ve you been?” he asked, inviting himself to take a seat across from you.
“great. how about you?” his smile lit up his face, thinking he was finally getting somewhere with you.
he went to answer, when you cut him off, “i’m so sorry, i don’t know your name?” it came out more of a question, a dare.
his smile faltered for a second, and you took that as a win, before he stuck his hand out in between you two.
“i’m rafe cameron.” despite protests, you took his hand in yours to shake it, ignoring how much of a difference in size there was.
he raised his eyebrows, “your turn.”
“still not interested. lovely to see you, though.” you let go of his hand, putting your focus back into your schoolwork.
he scoffed, stood over you for a second, appearing to be looking at something on the table in front of you.
he chuckled, low, then bent down a bit. “i’ll see you later, yn.”
he picked up his coffee and walked out the door without a second glance. alarm bells were going off in your head. how could he possibly know your name?
you grabbed your cup to take a sip, and realization hit you like a brick. on the side of the plastic, your name was written in simple black sharpie.
recently, practice hadn’t been fun. especially since rafe realized the football team practices right next to the women’s soccer team. and also, since rafe found out you were on the women’s soccer team.
he’d made every effort to get your attention, calling your name and throwing footballs towards the soccer pitch, more or less annoying you. your teammates would squeal and giggle, and you groaned.
coach called practice, and as you were packing up your gear and getting ready to make the trek back to your locker rooms, you heard the distinctive voice from behind you.
“angel, how was practice?” you turned, seeing rafe, sweaty and red.
you probably looked the same at him. you’d been running on and off for two and a half hours today, you probably did not look your best. rafe would have disagreed.
“fine, thanks.” you wiped your face with a towel, taking your cleats off and finding your shoes.
“you know, when your face is all red like that, it makes me wonder what you look like when you’re getting f-” you hit rafe on the chest with the back of your hand.
“you’re appalling. does that line ever work on anyone?” you were completely disgusted by him right now, even if the thought did draw a little curiosity from you.
“sometimes. let me take you out on a date.” un phased, rafe cameron persists.
“why would i ever say yes after the comment you just made?” you laugh in his face, earning a shit eating grin from him.
“give me one chance. i don’t know what you think about me, but give me a chance to prove im not whatever it is.”
“no.”
“please, angel.” the way his voice upped an octave erupted thoughts, lot and lots of thoughts.
so, you’d finally give him a little bait to chew on for a while. “i'll think about it.”
with that, you left him standing by the benches. you rolled your eyes at the boy, but couldn’t help but smile.
three hours later you had a follow and dm from rafe cameron.
rafecam: have you thought about our date yet?
yourusername: no, not really
rafecam: come on angel
rafecam: one date is all i’m asking
yourusername: that’s all it’ll be since you’ll ghost me afterwards! it’s perfect!
rafecam: ohhh so that’s what you think
yourusername: the answer is no
rafecam: i’m not taking that for an answer
rafecam: it’s yes or yes
rafecam: i’ll be the perfect gentleman
rafecam: im the man of your dreams come onnnn
yourusername: you’re funny
rafecam: so does tuesday night sound good?
read
yourusername started following you!
deciding on something nice, but not too nice, you took your hair out of the rollers and sighed.
it’s your date with rafe tonight. you were feeling a lot of emotions.
you’d gone through rafe’s instagram the night he dmed you, had followed him back. there was even some 'get to know you' conversations somewhere in between.
pictures of his parents and sisters, his friends, pictures of them on a beach, all smiling. no pictures of him out at a party, or arms slung around girls. there was an image to maintain, though. the quarterback at unc, with forty thousand followers, of course he wasn’t going to post that.
you rolled your eyes and jumped up to show your roommate the black silk dress you were wearing for the dinner date at the fancy restaurant in town. anna was funny, bowing down in front of you like you were some god.
the doorbell to the apartment rang and your eyebrows furrowed. you thought, ‘no way he’d find a way to get up here, no way he’d find your apartment, no way he’d willingly come up here and ring my doorbell’.
but there he was, on the other side of the door, holding a small bouquet of your favorite flowers. your jaw almost dropped.
he was dressed nicely, a smile painted on his tanned features.
“how did you know where i live. and how do you know about the flowers?” you invited him in, giving him a undoubtedly suspicious look.
“don’t worry, angel. i have my ways,” he smirked, looking at your roommate. “hey anna.”
“oh, okay. got it. got it, thanks anna.” you shake your head, grinning as you put your head in your hands.
“we’ll put these in water then head out, yea?” rafe grabbed the scissors while you grabbed a vase to fill up with water, moving in perfect harmony.
the dinner went well, surprising you. he was a gentleman, like he had promised.
and as much as you hated yourself for it, you swooned, just like that.
his smile, and his jokes, and the lack of inappropriate ones. you thought maybe the bar was on the floor, right now you didn’t care. you could only thing about maybe, you could have been wrong about him.
he’d walked you back up to your apartment on the second floor, carrying his jacket and your heels over his shoulder as you walked together.
when you got to your door, it was unlocked, thank goodness, because you forgot your keys.
“these are yours. angel, i had a really good time. promise you’ll text me in the morning?” rafe asked as he held out your heels, a true, genuine look in his eye signaling he meant it.
you shrugged, love drunk, and pulled his arm so he fell inside with you. “we’ll see.”
he dropped the jacket and heels on one hump on the floor, grabbing around your waist and pulling you in.
the kiss was so desperate and rushed, but still gentle. one of his arms wrapped around your waist as you clung to his neck.
pulling apart, you grabbed his chin and lifted it upwards, placing light kisses on his neck, then sucking. his hands grabbed at your hips.
“you look so good. holy fuck, angel.” he returned the favor, kissing down your neck and shoulder, playing with the strap of your dress with his teeth.
you pulled him towards your room, and at first, he didn’t hesitate.
he faltered once you got to your door, pulling back from you.
“angel, i’ve wanted to fuck you since the moment i saw you, but i want to do this right.”
you were taken aback, not believing the words that were coming out of rafe cameron's mouth. you almost thought he was kidding, letting out a anxious chuckle, met with a confused stare.
"did you just say no to sex?" you questioned. he nodded, looking just as surprised by himself as you were.
he doesn't fucking like me, you thought. how could you be so stupid? of course, of course rafe cameron doesn't want you the same way you want him. do it right? what does that even mean?
and there it was, surprising you again, because since when did you want rafe? have feelings for rafe?
"okay, um well, goodnight, then." you tried, tucking your hair behind your ears and grabbing your heels from the ground.
"okay. goodnight, angel." he took a step forward to try and kiss you, but you crossed your arms over your chest and shook your head.
he faltered, heart shooting out of his chest. the one time he tries to treat a girl right, and he's fucked that up, too. he grabbed his jacket, stood up straight, gave you one last look and closed the door behind him.
rafe: good morning
rafe: do u maybe want to get coffee with me
rafe: or i could get it and bring it to u
read
rafe: helllllloooooo
read
rafe: angel what's goin on
rafe: text me back yn
read
it had been three days since you spoke to rafe. it'd been three weeks since you met him, officially. your emotions had been twisted, confusing. he’d been gone for an away football game. he stopped texting you after that.
you watched the game with your roommate anna, rafe throwing pick after pick, completely off his game. you sighed, hoping that the small flame inside trying to convince you you're the reason he keeps messing up is wrong.
the game ended, they won by one point. the team cheered on the field as number forty six walked off the field, helmet in hand and head hung low.
rafe: can you please talk to me
rafe: i would take you telling me you hate me over this
you: can you come over?
rafe: be there in ten
he was there in seven minutes, actually. looks of hesitation painting his features when you opened the door for him.
"you've been okay? you didn't text me back on wednesday."
"yea, we should talk about that." you nodded. his face slumped, he looked defeated.
"what? what is it, angel?" he took a step towards you.
"listen, i really only said yes to that date so you'd leave me alone," rafe felt a little bit liked he'd been punched. "but that entire date i felt so good, and i was honestly just fine with having one night with you and never speaking to you again. but then you said you didn't want to and whatever you meant by that, i'm not sure, but it, like, threw me off." you rambled, arms crossed over your chest in defense.
"i wasn't gonna have sex with you if it meant i never talked to you again." his blue eyes hidden under thick lashes, unable for you to get a good read on them.
"but rafe, thats like all you're known f-" your hands went up in defeat as you tried to finish your statement.
"was, it was. i wish you'd just talk to me instead, angel. but this-" he waves a finger between you two- "is different. i don't know if its because you give me shit every time i try to flirt with you or that you're just unlike anyone i've ever met, i don't fucking know. but id rather give this an actual try than pretend i could treat you like you didn't mean something more."
speechless, thats what you were. taking two steps forward and pulling him in. he tasted like mint gum, smelled like wood and vanilla. his lips parted, letting you familiarize yourself with his mouth.
he pulled back, "go on another date with me?" you laughed, then nodded, then pulled him back into you.
he pulled back again, "be my girlfriend?"
"you're pushing it, rafe." giving him a peck on the lips.
"well, just using my logic, here. if you're my girlfriend, then that means were giving it a try and we can fuck all we want." he shrugged, a hand finding its way under your t-shirt and onto your hip.
"you sound insane. ask me again later." you whispered into him, pulling him into your room, this time he didn't budge. rafe cameron, in your small, student housing bedroom, pulling your shirt off.
he kissed your neck, bit at the spots he'd sucked, picking you up and rolling onto the bed with you, earning a laugh from you.
you grabbed the hem of his shirt and tugged it up, rafe helping you out. your hands found their way to his upper arms, he closed his eyes and flexed under your touch, almost unconsciously.
"you look so pretty, angel. always do." he whispered, leaned down to kiss you again. he pulled your thin, loungewear bra to the side, let out a quiet groan, and kissed.
and he would have done anything to hear that small moan from you for the first time again. your hand reaches up to grab his hair as one nipple is in his mouth, the other being rubbed between his fingertips.
"angel, you want this as bad as i do?" he looked up at you, watched you nod, and smiled, kissing down to your naval.
lifting your lips, he slid the shorts off you, then his sweatpants next.
he lined himself up, pushing into you slowly, memorizing the sound of your gasps and moans. surely, this is what heaven felt like. sounded like. "holy fuck."
two strong arms landed on each side of your head as he slid in and out of you.
his words came out all incoherent, with a lot of 'please', 'angel', and 'pretty''s thrown in there.
this wasn't the kind of sex you'd have with rafe, you thought it would be more rough, not sweet and caring.
your eyes closed, his hand flying to your face, gripping your chin. "open your eyes, pretty girl. i wanna see you. wanna see whats mine." you let out a moan, clenching around him, too deep in pleasure to care that rafe knew you liked that.
"say it." rafe moaned, his pace fastening, a steady hand still on your face.
"im yours, rafe." he pulled you up as you gasped for the millionth time. now, riding him, your face was an inch above his, his features looked perfect under the sunlight.
"are you mine?" you got out, in between moans.
"since the first time i ever laid eyes on you. all yours, angel."
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minhosimthings · 6 months ago
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The Demon of Destruction || 18+
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Synopsis: For the first night of the "Make Heeseung jealous" pact, you spend it with the devil incarnate, Park Sunghoon.
Pairings: detective!Sunghoon × fem!reader
Warnings: Smut minors Dni, dildo use, ab riding, swearing, use of aphrodisiac, mention of alcohol slightly drunk reader, fem!reader, p in v, rough sex, degradation, praise, mention of cheating, creampie, dom!Hoon, reader is called 'angel' and 'sweetheart', overstimulation
A/N: bonjour my babies. This is the first installment of the Lucifer series and I seriously cannot wait to start writing Jayeun's next. Also I am shit at writing riding I realised that whilst writing this so pardon me if you cringe Ii
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If there was one thing that Park Sunghoon would never have expected to ever happen to him, it was taking one of his best friend's wife to his home with the sole objective of luring her to his bed. Although he didn't have any objection towards it, it was rather peculiar now that he thought about it.
Glancing out the corner of his eye, Sunghoon caught sight of how eerily calm you were. Any other woman would have been biting her lips until they bled. Or perhaps making conversation with him at that point.
But no, you were just...silent, devoid of sound, as if you were a creature mute and deaf.
"If you don't want to go ahead with the plan anymore I'm fine with that." Sunghoon offered, snapping you out of your daze. The bourbon had a greater effect on you than you had thought.
"What—no, of course not." You said, looking at him for the first time since you climbed into his car, "Why would you think that?"
Sunghoon considered you for a while before answering. "No reason, angel."
The nickname made butterflies erupt in your stomach.
Heeseung used to call you angel too.
•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•
"Welcome to my humble abode." Sunghoon whistled, opening the door of the cozy looking house for you. Your expectations of what his house would have looked like, was far different from the house you were standing in now. It was...homelier than you had expected.
"Are you sure you're not married?" You jested, taking off your coat, handing it off to Sunghoon, who hung it up at the door along with his own, "Any sensible woman would be all over this house, and you of course."
"As I said, I'm not that interested in a wife yet." Sunghoon said, guiding you to a small kitchen island, you had to squint in order to see your way through the dimly lit house.
"A drink for the lady?" Sunghoon offered, opening up a cupboard, "I've got whiskey, bourbon, and—" he stopped to look up at you and smirk, "—some special wine."
"What's so special about it?" You leaned against the counter, trying hard to look at him with seducing eyes, "Is it from France?"
"Jake got it for me." Sunghoon popped off the cork of the bottle with a quirk sound, "Apparently it's supposed to work in getting people..ahem-" he looked down, "Into the mood."
Aphrodisiac, you thought, you remembered Heeseung telling you about it once. He had wanted to buy some, before you scolded him, telling him that you were a big enough aphrodisiac for him. Once a laughable memory to you, seemed sadder now.
"Well?" Sunghoon snapped you out of your stupor once again, now nudging a glass of swirling maroon liquid into your hands. You hesitantly took the glass in your hands, inspecting it for a second, before downing it completely.
"Woah angel, slow down." Sunghoon took a sip from his own glass, "It won't work faster if you drink it faster."
Wouldn't it?, you wanted to question him, suddenly becoming hyper aware of Sunghoon's delicate features.
His hair fell perfectly onto his face in stray strands and his figure was strongly built, with slender waist and strong forearms, he almost looked feminine.
"Fuck..." You swore under your breath, holding your head in your hands, causing Sunghoon to look up worriedly. Setting his glass down and quickly walking over to you, he placed his hands on your lower waist before speaking.
"Alright there, sweetheart?"
"Yes I'm—fine." You forced out of your mouth, god did Sunghoon always smell this good?
Turning your body to his, your hands roamed over his stomach, and you could feel evident muscles through his thin shirt. Now that he had taken off his droopy coat, you realised how strongly built he really was.
"See something you like sweetheart?" His devilish smile came onto his face yet again, fueling the fire which kindled in your belly. Sunghoon's arms wrapped around your waist, eradicating the mere inches of air between you two.
One of his hands came up to your chin, his index lifting your dropping head up, as he examined it carefully. You could clearly feel the effects of the wine now, he looked so ethereal, whilst eyeing you up and down. He smirked once more.
"Let's go upstairs shall we, angel?"
|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•
Heeseung wasn't the kind of man to let go of his treasures that easily. So why exactly he had give you up, Sunghoon couldn't get the answer to that question.
It was invigorating to Sunghoon to see you undress for him. Just one look from his eyes and your shirt was on the floor, the faint tear stains on it forgotten, why would you ever remember Heeseung when a much handsomer devil was in front of you?
So there you were, standing in front of Sunghoon in your petticoat, which barely hid the black of your bra and panties. Not that you wanted to hide it anyway, you thought, internally smiling at how Sunghoon was looking at you with bedroom eyes, before walking over to you with slow steps.
"Heeseung's an idiot for giving up such a beauty." Sunghoon said to no one in particular as he eyed you up and down once more, taking in your nakedness with his ravenous eyes.
His hand came down to your inner thigh, your frail petticoat letting him feel the soft skin before he moved to your stomach. He smiled to himself as he lifted your bra up higher, his hand smoothing over the soft warm skin. Sunghoon bit his lip, his eyes looming over your visible breasts.
"Are you already ravishing me without even touching properly, detective Park?" You chuckled, leaning closer to him. Sunghoon raised a brow.
"I never knew Lee Heeseung's wife would be so..." He trailed off in silence causing you to smile.
"So what?" You quizzed his bemused figure, "So... experienced?"
"I was about to say attractive." Sunghoon chuckled darkly, "But then again—" he let go of your waist, striding to his bed and sitting down at the edge, spreading his legs in a way that made your insides unconsciously burn, "Heeseung isn't a man who'd marry some lowly wench, is he Mrs Lee?"
"You're being brave by calling me that." You followed his footsteps upto the bed, promptly settling yourself down on his thigh, he shuffled a bit to make you more comfortable, "You haven't called me by my name even once since we've arrived here. You just keep calling me angel."
"Why shouldn't I call you angel?" Sunghoon smirked, his hands gripping your hips tightly, pulling you down onto his thigh so harshly it made you wince, "Are you not one?"
"Poetic are you?" You scoffed, trying not to whimper at the distance between your lips and his, along with the added pressure of him keeping your clothed pussy firmly pressed to the fabric of his trousers, "Well, I'm no angel if you're expecting me to be one."
You didn't even get to blink an eye, before you felt your back land painfully against the soft matress. Sunghoon's hands burnt into the skin on your waist and his eyes raged with hellfire. He smelled of wet earth and rain on top of you, looking at you with hungry irises.
"Don't be an angel then." Sunghoon whispered, his jaw dangerously close to yours, you could feel his breath on your lips, "Just be a good girl for me yeah?"
Your hands found his stomach as his lips crashed onto yours. He was devouring you in every way possible, his breath coagulating yours, as he moved his sharp tongue across the flesh of your inner cheek. Your hands on the other side, were tracing his stomach. Through the thin cotton threads of his shirt, you could feel his muscles press against your palm as he kissed you, digging deeper with every moment.
"Sweetheart-" Sunghoon pulled away, you lifted your head slightly to catch his lips again, but he was quicker with his words, "-you've been groping my abs since forever now."
"Don't pretend like you don't like it." You scoffed, looking at him with a condescending expression. That devilish smirk came back to his face.
"Then why don't you get on them?" He asked, pulling away from you and instead lying down on the bed. His position was rather inviting, an unbuttoned shirt, (you had no idea how fast he had taken off his buttons), strong legs spread far apart, and a pretty face, illuminated by the faint moonlight.
You gulped heavily, hesitantly going near him, unsure of ether or not to get your ass onto his elysian figure. Sunghoon seemed to sense your nervousness, as he grabbed your arm and, with surprising strength, pulled you into himself.
As soon as your weight fell on his stomach, you mouth fell agape, and your face went down to make eye contact with him. You never noticed how beautiful Park Sunghoon's eyes were, they were always hidden under the guise of his rakish behaviour.
Sunghoon stops you for a second, motions for you to rise up slightly, and pulls your underwear to the side, exposing your dripping cunt to the air.
“Just move your hips sweetheart,” Sunghoon said, his hands on your waist, helping guide your movements. You sighed in pleasure as you started to feel some pressure. He helped your grind on his chiseled abs, until you hit the correct spot, feeling your cunt practically mold onto his tummy.
“Good job, keep going angel.” He said letting you hold his shoulders for support. Seeing your mouth press into an 'o' shape made his carnivorous tendencies ignite on fire.
His hands float to your hips, encouraging you to continue. You drop back down on him, the feeling of your bare clit rubbing directly against the crests and troughs of his abs was indescribable.
Using his firm grip on your waist, Sunghoon pushes you further onto the sharp hills on his stomach, and you quicken your pace, the searing pleasure in your clit overwhelming you.
"Fuck angel," he says, which elicits a whine from you. "you look so fucking pretty like this."
Your back arches slightly at the sound of his praise, your pace quickening even more. His one hand moving upto your hair fists it tight, earning another whimper from you.
“Such a good girl, you're doing so good angel,” He said, now feeling subtle wetness stain his belly button.
“Oh fuck—I-uhh-“ you moan, going faster on Sunghoon's muscled tummy.
“You gonna cum angel?" Sunghoon asks, a mocking tone to his voice that turned you on even more, that his handsome carved face, like the muse of God's scribe himself.
“F-fuck I’m so close, Hoonie” You whimper, your mouth hung open as you breathe hard. Hearing the nickname, Sunghoon jerked his hips up slightly, making you let out a tiny scream at the stimulation on your raw cunt.
“Cum for me angel.” Sunghoon says. With a few more movements, you were cumming, your back arching into his chest as you felt your pussy get drenched.
You nearly screamed as it hit you so strong your body expelled him, along with your wet release. He was quick to move his hips up again, his cum-coated stomach making you feel things you had never felt before, pushing them into you with a loud squelch. Your senses were on overload.
Sunghoon was consuming your entire being. You could feel every inch of him and you didn’t want to stop. Your core began to tingle, feeling another orgasm approach you, reducing you to a blubbering mess.
“Look at what a mess you’ve made angel,” Sunghoon taunted as you came drastically all over his stomach, "messy girl aren't you?"
Sunghoon carefully gripped your waist and lowered you onto the bed, chuckling at how wet his tummy felt. Of all the women he fucked, you were certainly on the topmost tier.
"Wait a tick for me." You thought you had seen him wink at you, but you weren't sure due to the silent darkness, the only noise coming from the rise and fall of your chest. You heard Sunghoon open his bedside drawer, with a creaking noise.
As you relaxed into the sheets, trying to ignore Sunghoon's shuffling around the drawer, you saw him from the corner of your eye, finally taking something out from it. You could see the shape of something easily recognisable in his hands.
"Do you know what this is, angel?" Sunghoon's hands rested flat on either side of your head as he got on top of you once more, waving the dildo in your face, "Of course you do," he answered his own question, "Heeseung wouldn't have let such a good pussy go without one would he?"
"That asshole couldn't have fucked me better even with a dildo." You scoffed, rolling your eyes, "do you just have a market of toys in that drawer?"
"Let's just say a lot of women like the foreplay." You could see him smirk even in the darkness, "I mean if you don't want it, I can put it bac-"
"No that's not what I meant!" You panicked, grabbing his arm. You wondered what about your tone of voice made Sunghoon laugh out loud and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. If anyone asked you later on whether you have felt butterflies or not, you'd had said no.
"Lay down for me angel." His voice was gentler now, a beautiful facade to his internal desires.
Sunghoon places the dildo on your clit and he starts to slowly rub it using the toy while you moan loudly. Moving the toy up and down your pussy, your sinful symphonies become louder, as Sunghoon watched the juices spill from your pussy causing him to groan at the sight. He thrusts the dildo harshly into your walls, and with the slightest touch of the material to your clit, you moan louder than before.
“S-Sunghoon—fuck, I'm-” You moan out as a slap echoes in the room and you feel a sting against your ass cheek. Sunghoon's hand repeatedly thrusts the dildo into your walls, making you wish fervently for his cock to replace it instead. He turns the pace up again as you moan even more while he continues to thrust the dildo in and out of you.
"Aww you want to cum?” he asks, as you struggle beneath him, he wasn't allowing you the pleasure he promised. Your breath came unsteady, fulfilling the reticent desires of Sunghoon's sadistic side.
"speak up, angel, I can't hear you." Sunghoon whispered, leaning down to press a kiss on your forehead. You quickly pursed your lips, letting yourself make only muffled sounds. but you didn't last long, as every thrust and every inaudible whimper seemed to forcefully open your mouth from the inside.
"so pretty.." Sunghoon trailed off, laughing at your pleasured pain, "You want to cum hm?"
"Sunghoon-"
"Beg for it, come on." He commanded, "Beg me to let you cum, go on."
You weren't ready to give in that easy, but Sunghoon knew that. With a slick, carefully placed flick of his wrist, the slightly sharp end of the dildo touched you in a place that could have made you reach heaven and come back.
"Fuck—Sunghoon please!" You cried, tears falling down your face at the stimulation, "Please—let me cum.."
"Well if you say so." Sunghoon chuckled as you could do nothing but nod and after a few minutes of using the dildo, he takes it out of your pussy, pressing it in again.
You finish for a second time. You cling to him tight as the euphoria washes over you again. Locking your legs around his hips, you keep your face pressed to the warm skin of his neck as it goes through you.
Your juices coat the top of the dildo as you moan raucously, feeling ribbons of cum shoot onto the dildo, making Sunghoon smirk in evident pride.
Your arms grab his, as your chest arches into his mouth, hot and wet. You feel as his mouth comes off of the swollen bud as he removes the toy from your pussy, giving you pain and pleasure at the same time.
You were a mess at this point-- your hair was all tangled and you were a flustered mess full of scratches and hickeys on your tits where he had taken them into his mouth. Sunghoon placed a firm slap on your ass, which made your dripping cunt clench around nothing.
"Can you take more, angel?" He whispered to you, smoothing your hair out with his hand.
Sunghoon didn’t give you enough time to answer over his words as his lips crushed to yours. His tongue invaded your mouth as his hands roamed over your body. His roaming hand grabbed your hair as he ripped your face off himself. He looked down at you as you breathed heavily from his attack on your mouth.
"Hoonie~" you moaned into his mouth, "Want—your cock—please."
That was all it took for Sunghoon to practically rip off his belt and trousers, now laying on the floor, with their owner on top of you. Your throat went dry at the sight of his cock, hard and pulsing, the head of it angry red, glistening with precum.
He pulled back slightly, positioning his cock at your entrance and grabbed a fistful of your hair, stretching your upper body closer to him, putting you into an unnatural position.
His body was perfect, lean and muscular, strong and sharp features etched onto his body that looked straight out of a painting.Your gaze wandered over his arms, his chest and down his waist, hips and strong legs; every detail and body part burning into your mind.
You pant heavily, gasping for air as his large cock stretches your insides. His eyes are darkened but a cocky smirk remains. Achingly slow he pumps in making your eyes roll back, groaning at the sight of your mouth slack and panting.
His hips were moving slowly, with deep hard thrusts that made you moan with each push. His hips were doing most of the work, the thrusts were deep enough and hard enough for you to melt against the bed but enough to make everything shake under your skin as you were taking everything he gave you.  Sunghoon was not going fast, which made you wonder for a split second if he wished to. 
"Yes….Hoonie…FUCK!" You mewled as he hit that spot inside of you, hearing him growl for a moment as he was still fucking you deep into the mattress. His hand that was holding your thigh was in a tight grip, not letting you faint as you clung onto his back of dear life, feeling your nails almost break the skin as your moans were getting louder and more vocal. 
His rhythm was consistent, not slowing down or going too fast just to drive you insane as you felt that feeling of an intense orgasm come over you again. 
 "I'm c-close, Hoonie—" You were moaning into his neck as he huffed and stopped his thrusts. You were about to protest at him, teetering right on the edge of that pleasurable fall when he moved swiftly once again. 
Still inside of you, he leaned back a bit and scooped you in his arms, bringing you closer to him. You let out a noise of pain as you felt his entire girth penetrate deep inside you.
As you threw back your head and moan loudly, it dawns on you how very fragile-mannered Heeseung has fucked you. Your hips tremble as your body tenses, the ragged breath escaping your mouth cuts through your symphony of whines.
"Hoonie~Sunghoon—I can't!"
"Yes you can." Sunghoon groans as he feels you clench around him tighter than ever, "Be a good girl for me, angel and take it."
 The knot in your stomach tightened and snapped, your walls spasming and clenching around him as you released all over his cock that was buried deep inside of you. You were seeing stars and your body was shaking from the intensity. 
His cock jerks around against your walls once, twice, before he’s creaming, filling you up with ropes of hot cum. He thrusts deeper into you, a melody arising from both your moans as you felt him inside your very soul.
Soft pants and deep breaths invaded the space around you, not a word being spoken. You stayed like that for only a few seconds, catching your breath as you both came down from your highs. He then carefully pulled out, muttering a string of curses and an unheard comment about the the mess you both made off of his sheets.
"Come on angel." Sunghoon muttered under his breath, in a barely audible voice, not that you were listening anyway, "Let's get you cleaned up."
|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•
"Tea?" Sunghoon offered you, your second cup of the night, "People say I make the best tea of all the precinct."
"Alright I trust you." You laughed, taking the mug in your hands and relaxing into the atmosphere of the cozy kitchen island, clad in a robe, you had no idea where Sunghoon got it from.
Calm silence followed, wherein you and Sunghoon sipped tea from your respective mugs. Yours had a 'To Uncle Sunghoon' on it, along with what looked like a child's drawing. You giggled to yourself. A gift from Sunghoon's beloved nephew, no less.
"Can-can I ask you something if you don't mind?" Sunghoon asked, and you noticed, that for the first time, there was no cocky tone to his voice.
"Go ahead." You smiled, "Unless it's about my first night with Heeseung."
"No no." Sunghoon laughed, taking another sup of his tea, his lips stained pink from all the kissing that had taken place, "I wanted to ask—how is it like, being married?"
You were taken aback by his question. Park Sunghoon, perhaps the last person on earth, who would ever think of marriage, was asking you about it? Had the bees stopped producing honey today?
"Well, I can't say," you started, "It's different for each person, you know. And, as time goes on, it changes. Which in my case-" you let out a cold laugh, "-is very evident."
Sunghoon was quick to put his hand on yours, giving it a tiny squeeze, along with a warm smile.
"You know who was really upset when he found out about...ahem.. your situation?" Sunghoon suddenly said, intriguing you.
"I don't know—Jay?" You said, realising you were right when you saw Sunghoon's expression, "Oh. Wait—Jay? You're not joking?"
"Y/N, trust me if you saw how much that man was brooding over it, you'd think he was your husband, not Heeseung." Sunghoon chuckled, downing the last bits of his tea, "Would you like to head to bed?"
Though you fell asleep soundly that night, wrapped in Sunghoon's surprisingly soft arms (now that the effects of the wine was over), you kept pondering over his words.
Jay—worrying about you? It was a heart thumping thought, which made you feel like what warm winter suns felt like. Jay Park, you sighed to yourself, before going off to sleep.
The day after tomorrow seemed too far away.
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avis-writeshq · 8 months ago
Note
not me asking for it https://www.tumblr.com/avis-writeshq/744966259884556288/if-someone-asks-for-it-ill-write-a-fic-based-on?source=share
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pairing: s9!spencer reid x fem!reader genre: fluff, established relationship, SMUT warnings: 18+ CONTENT; MINORS DO NOT INTERACT !! oral fem receiving, spencer reid is a munch, hair pulling, fingering a/n: a promise is a promise !! based off of this post <3 i hope this lived up to expectations !! first time writing fem oral ha h a ha wc: 1.1k
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Honestly, if there’s one person Spencer can blame for the situation he is currently in, he blames himself. After all, he should have known that a ‘gathering’ at Rossi’s house that was planned by Penelope would only call for a lot of teasing, a lot of ‘get to know each other!’ games (despite the fact that he has worked with this same team for more than seven years. What else is there to know?), and a lot of alcohol. He didn’t quite realise that these games would be of the drinking variety. Alas, here he is, sitting on one of Rossi’s incredibly expensive leather couches and cringing at the horrid taste of whiskey. 
The game they’re currently playing is an alcoholic’s rendition of ‘who is most likely to?’, involving a thick stack of cards with different topics while each member of the team took turns reading out. Whoever ended up with the most amount fingers pointed in their direction was forced to drink.
Spencer hates this game. He has drank from his cup a grand total of six times, and he is not getting any more used to the spicy-poison-equivalent in his hand. 
“Alright, this is a good one,” Derek announces with a manic snigger. “Who here is most likely to be a munch?”
There is no hesitation in anyone’s answers, and all six fingers point into Spencer’s direction. His jaw drops at the betrayal, his head spinning from the sheer amount of shots he had to take but also what the hell is a munch?
“I don’t even know what that means!” He insists. 
“Oh–” Penelope wears a half delighted half pitying expression at his words. “We really need to get you onto the internet more. Reddit is probably up your alley.”
“Even Rossi knows what it means,” Emily cackles, gesturing to Rossi who looks all too pleased. “Hotch was my second option though.”
Aaron shrugs, sipping at his drink. “Guilty.”
A chorus of laughs and shrieks erupt from the group, leaving Spencer even more confused. “What?”
“Don’t Google it,” JJ chimes in. “Seriously.”
Spencer nods, and although he knows that he should have taken the warning seriously, the curiosity was getting to him and he had no choice but to search it up as soon as he got home. He gets the usual answers– the etymology of the word, what it means in the Oxford Dictionary, the popularity of the word since the early 1800s, and he really doesn’t understand what the fuss is. Does the team think that he eats loudly? Or that he chews with his mouth open? His brows furrow at the unsightly thought. 
His interest soon shifts to a different a different link, namely The Urban Dictionary. He blinks, clicking on the link without much thought and– oh. He does not get much sleep that night.
*** 
Your relationship with Spencer isn’t a secret. At least, it was never supposed to be classified as such. He is simply an incredibly private person that even his closest friends don’t know that you exist. It simply never popped up in conversation– or so he says.
The relationship isn’t necessarily new either. It’s nearing the one year mark and you have gotten to the point where the two of you have been more ‘experimental’ when it comes to sex. He finds it embarrassing. You find it unsurprising that he would. You find it even more surprising when he breaks a kiss halfway to lower you onto his bed, your head falling to one of his very expensive memory foam pillows. 
“I want to try something,” he announces softly into your ear, squeezing gently at your waist and looping his fingers into his shorts. “Is that okay?”
“Yeah,” you breathe, body hot with anticipation as he pulls down your shorts. It’s only when he brings his face between your thighs do you realise what he intends to do. “Spence, you don’t have to–”
“I want to,” he repeats softly, his fingers running up and down the lacy fabric at your slit. “If you want me to stop, you can tell me.”
You shake your head immediately at that, your hands moving to his grip his shoulders. “No, I don’t want you to stop but– but Spence, this is the first time you’ve done this. It’s okay–”
“Let me do this for you,” he says, his breath ghosting against the sensitive skin of your thighs. “I’ve done my research.”
“What–”
You’re silenced as soon as he presses his lips to your cunt, only separated by your pretty lacy underwear. He groans quietly at the taste of your slick seeping through the fabric, and his hands hold onto your thighs to keep them parted. It’s so good, so good, but it just isn’t enough. He pushes the fabric to the side, watching the way it clings and sticks to your skin. 
All it takes is one swipe of his tongue on your pretty clit for his brain to grow blank. The grip he has on your thighs grow firmer and his fingers dig in hard enough to leave little marks. His nose bumps against your clit while his tongue travels against your folds. 
“You taste so fucking good,” he breathes against you, lapping at your dripping cunt. “Fuck, angel, you’re so beautiful.”
Then, he’s on you all over again. His lips wrap around your clit and he whines into you as he sucks at the bundle of nerves. Each one of his actions has your back lifting from the bed and your hands tugging at his curls, to which he responds with a quiet moan. Amidst the pleasure, your mind nags you to be gentle, and you loosen your grip despite it taking all of your self control.
“Do that again.” He says it as a demand, guiding your hands back into his hair. “Do it again, angel.”
His head is spinning and he craves for more of you, his tongue flattening against your clit over and over again. He brings his own fingers to brush against your entrance, coating them with your slick before slipping his middle finger inside. It’s only the first knuckle but it’s enough to have you squirming beneath him. He pushes further until it reaches all the way, and Spencer groans at the feeling of you tightening around him. He kisses your clit again at the same time he curls his finger inside you and it’s all too much. 
“Spence–”
You gush around his finger and he licks and laps at your pussy like he needs it to breathe. His finger curls open and closed inside you while you rock your hips against his face, your grip on his hair tightening as each second of your high passes. 
“So good,” Spencer moans, kissing your clit. “Taste so good. You can do one more, right, angel? Just one more, I promise.”
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reblogs are always appreciated !!
tagging the people who commented on the original post: @mosaicbrokenherz @doigettokeepyou @goblinintheblog @cassioxpeiaxmgg @daddytenebra @lilliumrorum @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @lightreiding
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