#my friend made this meme for me and it is beyond perfection

[crusheswhimsandfancies]

Happy 70th birthday to the one and only Rick Moranis😍😍😍

[bubbleddisasters]

Since Y’all liked the last one, heres something somewhat similar:

TWST Characters as funny / random ass moments with my friends/family

———-

Ace : A good friend of mine made an entire Cards against Humanity Deck including us, and we played it at like 4 am.

Also, one of my closest childhood friends of now 11 years, the way we first met was he insulted me, and then thirty minutes later I peeked at his notebook while he was drawing (our beds were next to eachother) recognized Sans from a meme, and then managed to bullshit through an entire conversation about Undertale without him suspecting I didn’t know what the hell I was talking about.

I made a joke about it a little less then a year ago, thinking he knew by now, but no. He looks at me and the conversation goes:

“Are you telling me our entire first interaction was you just fucking improvising through a discussion of a fandom you didn’t know shit about?”

“Wait you didn’t know?”

“NO?!”

“You genuinely believed that I knew what I was talking about then for 10 years?!?”

“Surprisingly, yes.”

Deuce: I was biking with my sister, and she accidentally biked straight into a fucking lake. Also when my dad looked me dead in the eye after receiving one of my graded tests and goes

“How the fuck do you answer Maine four times on different questions and be wrong for all four times.”

Bonus Adeuceyuu combo: Me and two of my childhood friends once linked together to grab something we saw in a river, turns out it was just a broken fishing rod.

Also another on me and the above two friends meeting: The first thing one of them did was insult me, and I genuinely have zero memory of how I met the other.

Basically, we met at a sleepaway camp as kids, and for some reason, our sleepaway camp had some wackass shit, but one of them was this game. I don’t remember the name of it, but you had to go in groups of 3-4 and tie ribbons around each staff tent/cabinside without getting caught (and keep in mind each campsite and Cabins were very spread apart) at midnight, and the first to return to the cafeteria, where the staff were waiting, and did so after tying them all, on won.

Kids age 12-17, in the middle of fuck knows where in the woods Long Island, running around in the dark unsupervised with only any light bringing items they brought themselves.

So me, and we’ll call them C and M, teamed up. It’d take too long to go into full detail, but it was a very Prologue Mines fused with Camp Vargas core adventure.

Bonus First year gang in general : Me and three friends were waiting for something I genuinely don’t remember in an abandoned dorm area and got extremely bored, and one of them could do a perfect Donald Duck impression, and another a really good goofy, and this somehow led to us having a fake reality tv show verbal bitchfight as Donald, Goofy, Mickey and Minnie for a solid hour. We all regretted not recording it.

Cater: My friend from Wales entirely forgot about the existence of timezones and called me in the middle of my history class. Her ringtone at the time was just a clip of her screaming “Bread”.

How my teacher didn’t figure out who’s phone it was is beyond me.

Trey : Made Russian Roulette Spilt Cupcakes for a large group of my friends, and one is allergic to strawberries, while another’s favorite is, so I very specifically placed the strawberry filled one on the complete other side of the table with the intention of slipping it in after she picked her two.

Some fucking how, she ended up with the Strawberry one, which I had tied with a bow (basically the ones with bows mean they contain an allergen, and the color is the allergen. Ex: Strawberry was BRIGHT FUCKING PINK.) I’m to this day not exactly sure how, but my best guess is she traded hers with whoever originally got the Strawberry one before we ate.

Luckily, I told her partner, who had been my baking partner in crime and convinced me to add in the strawberry after I said it might be a bad idea, to bring two epi pens just incase.

Riddle : I am around 5’3, and I had a friend (?) who was 6’2-3 in middle school. We had almost the blatant definition of a Floyd and Riddle Dynamic, but he’d out of the blue be extremely sweet to me (kinda like that comic in the anthology), only on days I was going through shit. When I tell you I genuinely thought I was hallucinating when he did though-

Also, I yelled at him for nailing, yes, NAILING, a flag on the ceiling reading :”el sábado es para los chicos” (Saturday is for the boys) In the fucking Spanish classroom. Since nobody was as tall as him and the janitors didn’t notice it, it was there for like a week.

Che’nya : My friend and I have an ongoing inside joke where whenever we spot the other through a window in the hallway, we text the other “behind you” or “to your__”

Leona : I brought a pillow with a silk pillow case (gift from my mom) to a sleepover once, and my friend went “You trust leaving me in the room with this?” and I genuinely responded “Its a pillow, why wouldn’t I trust you.” entirely forgetting that Silk can be pretty expensive.

I felt so bad bro.

Ruggie : My friend once dared me to get a one plate of everything during a party. I misinterpreted this and brought a mostly to full plate of each thing, including water bottles.

Turns out they meant balance one of everything on a single plate.

I did not, infact, return the seven brownies, four cupcakes, two cookies, twelevish tangerines, popcorn and god knows how many grapes, but everything else was returned or snatched by friends.

Jack: My friend was throughly convinced she knew where she was going when we got lost outside at one of the biggest malls in fucking America, and we ended up walking a good 4/6th of the perimeter before finding the target (the store, we were still fucking lost) , which we called her mom to pick us up at.

Bonus: My friend, a few dormmates and I were at Starbucks and this random woman comes up to my friend and goes “Hey, they got my order wrong, want my drink?” and I was literally trying to give him this face of “BAD IDEA”. Yea so he ignored the obvious and drank the whole fucking thing and was bouncing off the walls for the rest of the day. (This one could also work for Jamil I suppose.)

Floyd : I was once walking with a friend of mine and jokingly said Trees are giant salads.

This motherfucker breaks off a branch of the nearest tree, takes a fatass bite, drops it, and goes “I want a refund.”

Jade : Randomly got interrogated my mushroom hunters—-

(I kind you the fuck not, MUSHROOM. HUNTERS. Basically, they go out to hunt/find/ forage for rare mushrooms. Atleast thats what they told us?! I wasn’t paying much attention, I was busy petting their dog tbh)

—While camping, my friend and I had zero clue what they were talking about, so she just pointed in a random direction and they thanked us and left.

The same friend also introduced me to mica, but always called them Mermaid Scales, and we more than once walked around in the water looking for them, I was the only one that would literally stop mid-trail to pick some up though. I have a massive collection.

Also she never let me live down the fact I once trapped myself in my tent with fucking dental floss overnight just to see if I could, then couldn’t undo it in the morning, and our adult / guide / trying to keep us alive person had to cut me out with a knife.

Azul : This one very specific time as a kid I was talking to two identical twins, who were standing on each side of me, wearing the same outfits but color reversed, and nearly had an internal breakdown trying to remember which was which, so I just did verbal gymnastics around using their names.

We later literally spent two hours fighting for ours lives together and I shit you not I STILL COULDNT REMEMBER THEIR FUCKING NAMES.

Kalim : Went shopping with my badass grandma and somehow left with a Second Hand Valentino (the brand) dress for $50 and a free bracelet one of the employees gave me because ….I actually don’t know.

Also, I got trapped on a really high up indoor water slide with my sister because the water entirely stopped (we learned later the water machine tied to that ride blew up) , and where we were was like a weird slope like between two drops. We couldn’t get back up, and going down was too risky without water bcs we could go splat.

There was like a window ish on the ride, so like a smart 8 year old, I start calling for help at the top of my lungs. My sister (10) also did this. There was this guy who I guess heard us that we nicknamed Chad because he looked like the most stereotypical 2000’s beach movie love interest lifeguard and was dramatically looking around for where the voices were coming from but NEVER LOOKED UP??

Anyway, My sister got us out in the end because she found a hatch and managed to open it, and I shit you not there was a spiral staircase with a gigantic fucking sign reading “DO NOT CLIMB STAIRCASE.”

So obviously, my sister chucks me across the gap onto the staircase and then jumps over herself, and we end up spending another 40 minutes after that fiasco trying to find our parents while i’m pretty sure Chad was trying to find us.

After the 40 minutes we just assumed we were now orphans and went back to where we left our keycard and low and behold our parents had just come back from wherever they had fucked off to.

Also Chad found us and felt super bad, and bought us a smore cake?!? Someone throw him back in time to be his destined role as an extra in Teen Beach Movie. The cake was great though, but that was one hell of an 8th birthday lmao.

Jamil : My friend from India (jokily) Divorced me after my dumbass asked her if Chai was an ingredient used in Chai Tea.

Spoiler Alert : Chai IS THE TEA. Apparently, asking for Chai Tea is the equivalent of saying “Can I have some Tea Tea please.”

Yea safe to say I felt real stupid in that moment.

Epel : My sister once locked me in the bathroom so she could test her new makeup on me. She left for one second and I kid you not I snuck out of the window.

Random bonus : Me and my cousins for some reason ended up roughhousing outside after one of our older cousins weddings, and I judo flipped a whole ass 17 year old man at age 12 and I felt so powerful in that moment.

Also If you saw about the ranch in the previous post, me that gang had an anonymous cookie provider who would leave us two tins of fresh cookies every day around 12ish pm, usually behind the kitchen or outside the equipment shack.

Yes, we tried to catch them once, No, we didn’t succeed. Also nobody wanted to risk loosing cookie privileges, so we didn’t try again.

Rook: Once scared the living shit out of my online friend by texting him “I am now several miles closer to your location.” . He lives in South America, and I happened to be in Florida with a friend, so I thought i’d be funny.

Vil : I was going to a cosplay convention with a friend, and instead of bringing like a normal amount of makeup, my indecisive ass brought basically a whole suitcase worth of it.

Also won a costume competition at my boarding school for Halloween, and wasn’t even aware there was a competition until the year after, when a good half or more of my dormmates asked me to do their makeup because they’d heard I was really good at it.

Idia: Ok, so, long story, but my friend invited me and two mutual friends to see Sweeney Todd on Broadway w/ the og cast. However, I was the only one who didn’t know we were going anywhere, because he thought his mom told my dad we were going to see Sweeney Todd, while my dad thought my friend told me, but also he was suspiciously alluding to it, maybe unintentionally

So I show up in a blue hoodie with a bad pun on it, mildly ripped sweatpants, mismatched socks and bright rainbow crocs. Not very “going to watch a musical about cannibalism and Serial Killers” attire. But it gets worse.

So around the 3/4ths into the first act is when I usually get snacks at musicals or plays, since they’re usually just finished setting up and theres no line, so I’m in and out and don’t miss much.

Well, I did that as usual, and its important to know we had front row balcony seats, because…

I slipped on my friends playbill on the way to my seat, and my fucking left croc went flying down into the seats below us, and hit an older woman in the head right at Sweeney did the first oofing, and the stage lights go red for a moment in this scene.

I felt so bad, and was literally too embarrassed to go get the shoe myself, so one of my friends got it for me. Apparently the lady thought it was somewhat funny (thank fucking goodness)

Ortho : My sister and I were biking once, and found out some reason the coats we had (school merch from field day I think). had the biggest fucking hidden pockets known to man.

So the next time we went out, she for some reason decided to put our dads entire laptop in there.

Also bonus: My friend once invited me over to their house to help with their costume, and when I came over, the costume was literally a gigantic trash can. No, not the actual object, They were literally making a giant trashcan costume.

I helped but still remained mildly confused in the process.

Malleus : I had a good friend who lived next to a graveyard, and sometimes we would just go on nice walks in the graveyard.

Lilia: Another Wilderness one: We were making Pasta, and one of the guys in our group was playing with a large thing of moss, tripped, and the moss got into the fucking pasta.

One guide said “Nature Consequence, we can still eat it” while the other screamed they were going to get fired.

Also, me and a friend were singing bo-burnham on a hike, and for some reason we had this stupid ass idea of making a fake fishing rod called…..

“The Child Catcher.”

(The irony ony of us both being 14 at the time so technically we were children)

We found a good fishing rod like stick and a vine, tied a vine on, and I kid you not we carried that thing for MILES. We also made a fork with a flatly shaped stick and a rock named Reddie.

Yea living in the woods does somethin to ya I gotta say.

Bonus: One of my childhood friends had a very giant dog, and one time we had a sleepover, she was laying infront of the other side of the door when we woke , and because of the way the door was, we couldn’t get through.

So my genius solution was to climb out the window (this was on the second floor) , Cha-Cha real smoothed to the nearest other window, go through there, and lure the dog away with a treat.

It worked.

Silver: Went to this make your own dipped popsicle thing with a good friend of mine, and watched in pure horror as she got a mango popsicle dipped in dark chocolate and rolled in fruity pebbles.

Another one: I was at a Sleepover and there was this tent like thing that was meant for tiny people (aka me, not really it was for toddlers but I was small enough to fit at the time), and at some point in the middle of the night, someone tripped on the tent and it entirely collapsed on me, and not only did I sleep through it, I ended up being the last person to wake up because they all saw the tent collapsed and assumed I was already awake.

Also I was camping once and I rolled away from my tarp and somehow down a road, and my friend said when she found me there was just several butterflies and caterpillars on me. I originally didn’t know but I found a caterpillar on my head that morning and apparently it was poisonous (I was fine and I named him Bob)

Sebek: I was in an escape room with some friends, and I discovered that a key we had gotten in the very beginning worked on another lock, so I did that, and later one of my loud friends finds a key and is SPIRALING because she can’t find what it unlocks for like 30 minutes, and after several minutes I realized, unintentionally slammed my hand on a desk and screamed “OH SHIT.” with zero context.

That experience was actually my first time in a escape room with friends, and not my family or a bunch of drunk strangers in suits + my concerned mother.

Second years : My friends in the priorly mentioned group consisted of who I’ll call N, who was doing 70% of the work, we had R, who was angrily searching for the lock to the key, we had T, the birthday boi, who was randomly making jokes about the 1930s, S, who genuinely forgot he had a key item in his pocket, and A, who dramatically serenaded the paintings after misinterpreting a clue and me, who kept accidentally unlocking shit ahead of time.

Third Years: Prior to the other mentioned event, we had gone to a small improv event that ended up being just us, and the poor guy running it kept giving us scenarios and random conditions which we would absolutely make the craziest shit from.

If I remember correctly, one of the skits was we were supposed to be a school board, and the condition was when someone said an idea, you had to say yes.

The result? a organ harvesting business thats front was a school, and everytime someone got detention, one organ of theirs was sold, and the funds went into funding the biogenetically engineered creation of Hatsune Miku and Cat Boys.

For some reason this skit also led somehow into atomic glitter and cocaine missiles, selling souls on Ebay with express shipping, using Sephora Products and Instagram to spread our propaganda, making meme complications of our crimes, and nuking the Bermuda Triangle.

Ask no questions because I have no answers.

——————————-

Yea thats it for now! Enjoy!

:3

[pastafossa]

Happy Birthday and a merry 6 years to TRT! 🎂 🎁 🎈 🎉 🍰

🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯

Some FUN TRIVIA FACTS:

TRT's sun sign is VIRGO and its moon sign is LEO!

After 6 years, its current wordcount is 932k words. If you put that in size 12 arial font, single-spaced, this would come to about 2000 pages, and even more if the pages were the usual mass market paperback size!

TRT is now 40 in cat years!

The Man in the White Coat is my tribute to the Mad Scientist trope common in scifi, which is one of my favorite genres!

It is old enough developmentally to tie its shoes! Keep going, TRT!

Ciro is partially inspired by John Marcone from The Dresden Files!

TRT shares a birthday with literary great Agatha Christie! Maybe I'll introduce poison-based murder into the fic in her honor...

The idea of seeing threads came to me after seeing a meme about red threads tying soul mates together. Everything that came after - the other threads, the thread world, how it works, is unique to TRT!

TRT is now longer than War and Peace, and Crime and Punishment combined! So if you've read all of TRT so far, then you have the perfect middle finger to anyone who tries to say you can't focus on longer stories!

The inciting penguin documentary that Foggy drunkenly watched (which led to him declaring Matt and Jane 'penguins') was about Adelie penguins specifically!

Jane has a leather jacket because I love leather jackets and think all badass characters should have a leather jacket! And so you should you! EVERYONE DESERVES A COOL LEATHER JACKET.

The long hiatus between Chapter 4 and Chapter 5 was because I had life things pop up. During that hiatus, I realized the plotline/ending needed some work, so I spent those two years outlining, and I also wound up doing a bunch of additional novel writing classes just because I wanted to learn. A lot of this wound up influencing TRT!

The grey threads are one of the only threads that no one has solved yet!

There are absolutely some bad people working for Cyrus James. There is also a guy named Kyle. He is there not for Evil Purposes (tm) but instead because this was the only place he could work that would allow him to pay off his student loans.

When I started TRT, I thought maybe 5 people total would read it. I was told five people total would read it by some shitty people. So I wrote it expecting five total people would read it, and told myself at least I'd enjoy it, and I could use it to learn. In other words: I had ZERO idea TRT would take off like this. None. Nada. Zip. AND LOOK AT US NOW, BABY. FUCK THE HATERS, 6 YEARS AND GOIN' STRONG.

Based on my outline, we're a bit over halfway to the end!

I hope you enjoyed these TRT funfacts. And I hope you know: this fic isn't just me. It's you, too. This fic has become so much larger than just me. It's the TRT playlist you've sent songs in for that keeps me inspired when writing. It's the fanart I look at to give me a boost. It's your sweet comments and likes and kudos and messages that encourage me when I'm sick or depressed. It's the people who've made friends over this fic, or who've been inspired to write fic themselves, adding beautiful works to the community that we all use to keep going. It's all of this love for both TRT and Matt, and I'm so happy that I've been able to contribute in at least a small way in keeping Charlie!Daredevil love alive even after the show's been gone for years now. I love you all so, so goddamn much. I love this fandom. I love TRT with all my heart. Thank you so much for being a part of these past six years through cancelations, through your high school and college years and beyond, through my ups and downs of moving and sickness and fiberglass and pandemic craziness, through late night chapter drops and wild twists and turns.

And I hope the next few years as we enter the second half of this story are just as amazing!

[thunder-point]

Cole I'm sorry but I suddenly remembered this super funny thing that maybe is only funny to ME AHSGH but like.

so there's this popular meme(?) from Mean Girls where they're all talking about Regina like yeah she's flawless she has two Fendi purses etc.- and then Bethany goes "one time she punched me in the face ... it was awesome."

now imagine (because I'm terrible at video meme-ing) Peem's friends describing Peem. YEAH Peem's a great artist, he's kind and pretty , yeah he's so patient and loving—and then there's Phum— "one time he kicked me in the balls...it was awesome."

if anyone is reading this ask and CAN make this into a thing, please do 😔🙏

i don't know how to edit, or to draw, i just know how to yap (badly at times) so i will try to do my best for you my beloved.

but -- reading this i imagined a whole scenario that is solely ridiculous and maybe tender.

so i will say it to you, and i hope it puts a smile on your face.

as always. IMAGINE:

they are at parkingtoys for a night of drinking. the whole extended squad. and phumpeem have been official for a few weeks. still in their third year of university. so the situation is as it goes:

there's a senior from year 4 that peem really, but really respects. like so much. and he's so shy around this guy, because his technique for painting water is literal perfection or something.

let's call him... Top. Alright.

So that evening Top spots their big table, namely spots Peem and Q, and comes to salute them and ask how it's going with exams or something. And listen, Peem's friends know how Peem gets around this guy. How he gushes about his skill. Q has tried to make Peem go and ask for his Instagram for a while now, just so they can talk about painting and Peem can tell Top directly how much he loves his work.

So as soon as Top comes in and Peem greets him with a lowered head, a bashful smile and shyness in his voice, his friends jump to action.

"It's going great," Q starts, draping a casual arm around Peem. "This guy here got his third A in a row. I think I might have a competition this year for the third-year student with straight As on exams."

"I'm glad to hear that." Top smiles, before he looks around. "I see you guys made some new friends, too."

"All Peem's fault!" Tan cuts in, too solemn for his words. "He's just so friendly, you know? He charmed everyone in Engineering."

"So charming," Pun slurs out with a nod, way beyond tipsy. "Such a good friend."

"Have you had the pleasure of being his friend, Top?" Chain asks nonchalantly, despite doing his best to keep Pun upright. "Just saying, he's a pretty talented guy. You guys could talk about paints. Or something."

"Guys," Peem groans behind his palm, barely able to peek a look at a very amused Top.

And Phum? Well, he's just very confused. Like, Fang, Beer and Mick are confused. But Phum is truly confused. Maybe because he's a bit tipsy, or because their friends sound like they are trying to hook Peem, his boyfriend, with this guy. He knows a bit about Top. Knows that Peem kind of idolizes him. But why did Pun have to mention that he's charming?

At this point, Phum kind of wants to yank Peem under his arm and keep him hidden from the world. But then Top says, "I would love to be his friend, of course." And Peem's eyes get those glittering, dancing delights in his eyes, and he's peering at Top like he's bringing him a foreign part of the world, and how could Phum deny his boyfriend of this happiness?

So he tries to help, tries to join the charade of chatting Peem up -- platonically, of course.

Key word, tries.

He makes obvious eye contact with Top, face earnest, and he declares, "One time he kicked me in the balls... It was awesome. He's awesome."

Top blinks.

The table goes quiet, stupefied, except for Peem, who chokes on the drink he was having at that moment. He sputters the drink onto the table, and Phum immediately cups his cheeks to check if he's okay.

"Phum," Peem croaks, lips shiny with liquid and spit and eyes incredulous. "You can't just- Can't just say-"

At that point, Q and Chain begin to guffaw so hard Pun falls because of it, no longer supported by Chain. Tan is hiding his face behind a very amused Fang.

"What?" Phum mumbles, and then he throws his head back to give Top a frowny glance. "But he is awesome, even when he's angry. Trust me. Doesn't even matter that I went to the hospital because of-"

"Phum," Peem groans, hands trying desperately to cover Phum's mouth, to bring his head back. Phum is still babbling a bit. Just a bit. Because he needs to let this guy know just how awesome his boyfriend is. But then nimble fingers push into his lips and Peem murmurs, "Baby, that's enough. C'mere."

And Phum- Well. He flushes quicker than one can blink, before he buries his face in Peem's neck, who makes an endeared oof, despite embarrassment still coursing through him.

"And now he's shy," Q snorts. "Jesus fuck, Peem. Your boyfriend is something else.

It's that Peem rarely calls him baby in public, okay? And maybe he's more than a bit tipsy.

He hears Top say, "I didn't know you were in a relationship."

Phum makes sure to turn around just enough to give Top a look, before he says, "He is. Only I can get kicked in the balls by him, get it-"

Peem shoves Phum's face back in his neck with a choked-up sound, "I think we need to go. Enough alcohol for you."

Phum lets out a soft sound, arms coming around Peem's dainty waist. He nuzzles his collarbone. "Whatever you want, baby."

AAAND YEAH. JUST. Just endearment. I hope this was a fun read for you, alan

[docnefarious]

late for the meme, but i still wanted to participate!! because holy crap, you made this year so so much better by returning! i missed you and your robo so much!! literally my blog developed so much alongside yours, its like a piece i was missing has returned! i treasure our interactions and plots, esp our lil silly ship here, and even more so, i treasure you as one of my closest friends! i am so beyond grateful you are in my life! you are a wonderful and sweet person, a thrill to talk to, and just a treat to vibe with. i love our movie watching nights, our late talks, our yells and screams, our silly little dash stuff.. everything!!!!!! thank you for being my friend and quite the lovely mutual!!!!

2024 meme

DKLFJSDLFS MIZZYYYY!!!! ♥ oh god I know this is gonna be long but fjsld

I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE TO ME!!! You are definitely one of my best friends EVER!!! Like in all my life!! 😭♥ YOUR FRIENDSHIP JUST ELEVATES THE HAPPINESS IN MY LIFE BY SO MUCH!! I could go off about how incredible a person you are, and how much I value our friendship!!! I love talking with you, and joking and gushing and plotting and laughing and watching movies and screaming and crying and howling with you!!! I remember all of our things so fondly! And I always will!!!

It really is like a piece of me returned too when I came back to this blog 🥲♥ This blog is a part of me now, I swear LOL. I'm complete again, but aahh, I missed you so much!!!

Hnnng life got away from me as I was figuring things out and switching schools and moving cities and all that agh dlkghjfjs, but I really never wanna leave again jldksl I CAN'T 😭 and I DEFINTELY wanna stay in contact forever now!! Bc such a huge hole in my life got filled when we finally reconnected back in April this year!! ♥ Even before, I often thought about you and missed our jokes and shenanigans! I was honestly missing a big part of myself and didn't even know how badly I needed it lmao! And now we get to goof off together again flskjls 🥲♥ hnnnglkdjs, and it's honestly like no time has passed. It's so special!!

And oh man flkjds, don't even get me started on your writing 😭👏 Your Ratchet has gotta be like the most influential muse to my Nef lkjdfksl. Like so many of my HCs were inspired by your Ratchet 😭 hnngklgjd, I'm getting emotional LOL, BUT I LITERALLY CANNOT PICTURE NEF WITH A MORE PERFECT RATCHET ♥ like lkjflsk, their banter and how they play off each other so well ldsk :') They're an iconic duo to me at this point LOL! Our muses are who I think about when I see them in canon LOL x'D fldkjl

OK I'm just gushing now, but it's so crazy how we both started our blogs almost 10 years ago already dlfkjsld :') We've known each other for so long!!! And I just love how our muses developed alongside each other together, and have been through so much, and :') !!... ok Nef'll never admit it unless some big angst happens LOL but Ratchet's totally his best friend (and only friend tbh lmaao) in our post-a4o verse lfkjsl 😭 (even he doesn't wanna admit it BUT IT'S TRUE!!!) he has the photo saved (you know the one) and can't picture life without his arch-'enemy' now LOL! he'll destroy Ratchet in Smash Bros for making him care lolol

Augh dlfkjs :') but yeah, I could go off about how much of a void has been filled since I returned and we started talking again!! I'm just so happy we get to continue all our silly antics and ships and plots and dumbass jokes (THE FACE! THE BUSHES! THE OLD MAN!) it's just... 😭👌so incredible. ILU MIZZY!!! ♥

[1863-project]

I am, admittedly, very, very tired.

Fandom was a safe space for me growing up in the 2000s. I turned 14 in 2003, and I was spending a lot of my spare time online at the time because it was a place that people accepted me. I liked that it wasn't too fast-paced, and I liked that I was allowed to be weird there. I got to just be me, no judgment. For an undiagnosed autistic kid, that was revolutionary. It was a subculture, to be sure - we had to keep things quiet because in real life we were mocked for liking things, and this was an era where people sometimes did get fired for writing fanfiction off the clock. But it was safer than my real life, where I was being bullied constantly to the point of permanent trauma.

Fandom isn't like that anymore, because capitalism found us.

At some point, people realized they could make serious money off of fandom, and it became an industry. Fandom changed with it, and not necessarily in good ways. There were, of course, some good things - it was easier to get good merch for a lot of things, for one - but the cultural shift from smaller, more subcultural spaces into the mainstream has ultimately changed the culture of fandom in ways that have harmed creators. Fandom went from being about creating to being about consuming. Things are now moving so quickly that fic writers and artists can't keep up with fans' demands. If you're late to a meme by a week, you're "too late." And it's not a subculture anymore, either - it's mainstream. The things we were actually made fun of for liking are now cool to like, which in some ways is nice but in other ways feels weird, because now our safe spaces are dealing with an influx of people, many of whom were actually the people who made fun of us in the first place.

This isn't to say that fandom was all rosy when I was a kid. There were a lot of issues, it could get really cliquey, and there was a lot of drama, as you'd expect from fandom spaces. But it was still more of a place where you could explore yourself and who you were instead of a place where you had to police your own behavior because people were watching and waiting to go after you for any perceived mistake. You didn't have to be pure and perfect. You didn't have to keep up with trends constantly. You were allowed to go years between fic updates, and people were just excited to get an update instead of acting entitled for one after a week of no updates.

I love talking about things I like with my friends, and I generally do so in small Discord servers these days, because it's the closest thing to what I grew up with. In those spaces, we can discuss things seriously and in funny ways, and we can safely be critical of trends in fandom spaces, like racism and ableism, that have permeated modern fandom more than ever. They were always there, but as fandom becomes more of a reflection of mainstream society than ever, prejudices become more and more obvious in these spaces. People don't like it when you point these things out, though, because they're stuck in that idea of having to be perfect, because they don't want to be called out.

The fact of it all is this: fandom is now just a reflection of mainstream culture, because that's what it's become. It isn't a subculture anymore. And it looks just like regular culture, with all the sexism, homophobia, transphobia, racism, ableism, ageism, etc. that you'd see there. These are all topics worth going into in depth, and they're all things to be aware of. Depicting things and characters thoughtfully goes a long way for people - even if you're fixing canon because God knows canon itself is also deeply reflective of these things. Stories are a product of the society they're written in, after all.

I decided to start looking into ableism in fandom specifically because I'm autistic and certain tropes actively harm people like me and perpetuate prejudices against autistic people, but there's so much to be gleaned from disability and fandom beyond autism. If you're disabled yourself or have disabled friends or family members or other people you care about, you've probably seen something that rubbed you the wrong way or felt uncomfortable at some point (mental illness is especially deeply stigmatized in society and is treated accordingly in both canon and fanon). There's just so much to talk about and this is only scratching the surface.

But right now, I'm tired and I'm angry that the space that has been there for me my entire life, the space that was a place I could safely be myself, has become what it has and has essentially pushed me out - of a space I was helping build in my younger years. That shit hurts. I can't go home anymore, and it really, really stings. I'm building new homes with new, safe friends, of course, but to know I can't go back to what I had just...it's really hurting me right now.

I know I just have to move forward, but I think it's important for me to acknowledge the anger and mourning I've been dealing with, too.

[demacianbrawn]

send memes ( always accepting ) @essencefluxed: promise me that you won’t abandon me?

Garen was a soldier, a knight, a defensive wall and a warrior, he prided himself on his ability to read people on the battlefield, he could tell where a blade was moving, where an enemy was side stepping and when he was victorious just by looking into the eyes of another.

That was completely different than reading people when adrenaline wasn't pumping blood into his ears or sweat was dripping down his back. Ezreal's mask was so carefully crafted, a carefree smile, a cocky demeanor, a few well placed jokes, he was the perfect example of some suave boy and yet the more time Garen spent with him he had found that mask's cracks, peering at it with newfound eyes every time it slipped. There was more to Ezreal than the adventurer persona he loved wielding.

It was embarrassing how long it took for him to notice, but it wasn't a surprise. How had Garen gone years without seeing the hurt on Lux's face? It was easy to ignore certain things in one's expression when you didn't want to see them. He wanted to be better, a different person ever since the mage rebellion, and part of that was spending a great deal of time just watching Ezreal during their moments together.

So many layers, so many parts of him working in complete harmony, and the Demacian couldn't lie that watching the blonde sometimes made him feel like he lacked substance. Garen always figured that people saw what they got with him, that there wasn't anything deeper to find and that usually worked for him. Underestimation, especially on the battlefield was important, but did it transcend beyond the thrill of the battle? Was he really as dull and unremarkable as some enemies said?

Not that it mattered, he didn't care what others thought of him, and rather than lose himself in the insecurities that did bubble beneath his skin, he chooses to lay a hand on Ezreal's shoulder. If there was one thing he could do, was be honest and forthcoming to someone he had grown to care about. As reserved and plain as he might come off, one couldn't deny that he cared deeply, and he'd never allow Ezreal to feel anything but kindness and acceptance when it came to whatever relationship they had.

His fingers squeeze, his face serious, he cocks his head to the side to readily observe Ezreal's expression. " I'm not leaving you. I know you won't be in Demacia forever, but whenever you return here, my home is your home, as am I. " Cobalt gaze widening, he immediately sputters a bit, cheeks flushing a deep scarlet. " I mean, I'm your friend. You don't ever have to worry about that. I don't abandon my friends. " Embarrassment laces his tone, and yet he keeps his grip on Ezreal firm, there would be no mixed signals here.

The people who claimed Garen lacked substance had clearly never had an actual conversation with him.

[drratiosstudent]

(Spoilers) Lord of the Mysteries Review

*Posted on Reddit August 2024*

*But I decided to post it here because I plan on collating a list of my reviews for the things I read from 2025 onwards here*

Reddit: Anonttheal

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*Note, I am sleep deprived, dead, overwhelmed, emotional, hollow. I cannot describe the ineffable emotions I feel after reading. So apologies if it doesn’t make sense

General thoughts - how I got started

I mentioned in my post the other day that I was going to binge read the final volume and damn. I did. But oh my Goddess, I needed time to process my emotions and thoughts. Some of you might have seen my journey from the start when I joined this subreddit, from discussing my thoughts about the first few volumes, to posting memes along the way as Lord of the Memes, and venting throughout the journey. It’s been a long 5-6 months (I started in March). I want to start off by saying thank you to everyone who welcomed me kindly when I first started and advised me to avoid spoilers, and those who made me even more excited to continue the journey. I’m slightly upset and happy that I postponed reading LOTM for 1-2 years - happy because that means I can binge the whole of LOTM and head to COI (and hopefully be in time for our great Fool’s awakening), sad because I did not read this earlier and find this happiness haha. A part of me genuinely sometimes fear the ‘what if’ I had never touched it? My reading list is as long as the distance from Earth to the Cosmos at this point. Gotta thank the first LOTM trailer for hooking me, the fan arts, and the LOTM TikTok vids that kept appearing on my page. (It was that one TikTok vid explaining where I could read LOTM that made me read LOTM, I think it was from Mr. Mysteries? And then there’s LOTM Historian, I used to watch him rave about LOTM having no clue what was going on but thinking damn, the characters are cool but idk what’s going on but he’s high key glazing LOTM, I can see the passion in his eyes and I wanna know why). I was genuinely so curious about how excited LOTM readers were at the world building and story, and it made me happy to see people glaze LOTM so much (even though I didn’t understand a thing other than that the MC pretends to be a God and I was so confused - how can a human pretend to be God?). I genuinely pick novels/books/stories based on how much people glaze or analyse it + how many people cry over it. LOTM seems to fit the bill. Soon I was like - I need to know what makes these people so passionate. Now I understand. I am the same. Heh.

Review

I’ve said before to my friends and on here, reading LOTM for me was like peeling an onion. I know the first volume can be divisive but I was hooked BECAUSE of volume 1. I found it great, especially for someone who knew nothing but MC pretends to be God and wants to go home. You have no idea the emotional turmoil and shock I felt as the mysteries got revealed. I had to reread the ending of volume 1 a couple times before reading volume 2. That was how shocked I was. Then as I continued reading, I realised nothing is as it seems, and everything seems to be planned and foreshadowed from the start. The brain games, the strategies, the unique world building, lore, truth reveals, plot twist, Beyonder abilities, the Beyonder law, the way everything fits in together and makes such perfect sense, and how history affects the present was just amazing. There were no plot holes I could think of, and even though I was spoiled a lot (I have a tendency to seek out spoilers, but I still enjoy reading with spoilers in general), I still enjoyed it because there were so many plot twist I doubt scrolling through comments and videos would spoil the book for me. I absolutely loved how yesterday’s enemies might be your allies today, and allies can turn to enemies, and how even neutral parties may get involved. (Especially so in the final Godly battle when Klein was listing out his allies and enemies. I was literally kicking my feet before during and after the fight, and gaped when I realised MTOD might even side with Klein. And poor naive young me who thought Adam was alright would’ve been so shocked at Adam being one of the great antagonist for Klein later. Then there was also the Sasir in the FloG, where even Amon helped Klein, and his goal was revealed only later. Then the whole Amon thing of kidnapping Klein, only to actually turn out to target Pallez.) Everyone had their own agenda, and it was extremely fun, using my brain to deduce alongside Klein the motivations of different organisations, characters, and who we can trust. Klein also comes up with such unique and creative plans, back up plans, back up back up plans, and uses weapons, tools and his abilities in ways I think most of us would not have thought of. Instead of typical magical fights, we have sealed artefacts with side effects, using them for his advantage sometimes, him using the whistle, groselles travel, the genie, the brass book, and LEODERO in such creative and humorous ways. Then we have monocle guy, mushrooms, pregnancies and coincidences. I low key felt so paranoid and anxious whenever I saw them or thought that there were coincidences or ‘reasonable developments’. Klein had his wins, losses and sacrifices, he made mistakes and triumphed over many obstacles. Watching him grow was so fulfilling and satisfying, yet filled with so much grief and loss. I really loved the theme CF portrayed of humanity, loneliness, divinity, morality and love/relationships (in all forms, be it familial, romantic, platonic, those gray areas etc.)

The world system and magic system has so much significance in real life too. The fact that one can only become a strong Beyonder by having money, resources and connection rings true in the real world. Alger and Audrey are key examples of this. Some may dislike how hard and long it took for Alger to grow compared to Audrey, but imo, CF did this on purpose. Alger suffered from discrimination since young, and continues to do so. Audrey has everything he lacks - the money, resources, connection + her identity not as a mixed blood. But this does not mean we should hate Audrey for what she has that she can’t control. I respect Alger for his determination despite all the barriers simply because of his identity, childhood and factors that slows his growth, and I respect Audrey for being open minded and brave enough to grow out of her shelter, realise the cruelty of the world, and use her benefits to help others. Life is unfair, and we can see that here. Same with Old Kohler, Daisy, the Sammers. Every character has their own strength and flaws, they felt so human even if they were not shown too much. Yes, some side characters can be shown in more detail, I know it is a flaw in this story, but no story is perfect, and we don’t expect a perfect story. As long as a story makes a big enough impact on me, I think it’s good enough. But the fact that so many people have side characters as their fav characters (other than Klein) shows just how well CF thought through the side characters + their roles in the story. I can tell CF did a lot of thinking into the roles characters have, and what they portray, and he for sure knows that some characters will be disliked, but the characters are there for a reason, to portray a message, a theme, or that their growth is supposed to send a message to us.

Regarding the world building of magic - The fact that as a Beyonder, you need anchors has relevance in this world too. As one rises up in the hierarchy, or holds a higher position in this world, it is easy to get lost in your own self importance, or to be in your own world, or be so involved in problems in your circle you don’t see the big picture and impact on other people. (We can look at celebrities, or extremely rich people - again, this is not all celebrities and rich people, and it also isn’t entirely their fault. When us ‘normal’ people treat them as powerful beings, when a huge number of employees rely on celebrities to maintain their status for their jobs, we are reinforcing the image to them, and their environment is already closed off to us. There is a barrier between us. They don’t completely understand how we live, nor do we understand their struggles. This again, is not a bad or a good thing, it’s just the complexities of life. Celebrities and rich people have worked hard to get to where they are (ignore old money), but there are flaws in this system). Having anchors, friends and family who ground us, and become a bridge to how the rest of the world is so so important. Loneliness is another core theme that is displayed throughout the novel too - the stronger one gets, the lonelier it gets. Same with the real world. Less and less people understand your struggles, and you will encounter the same sort of people again - those in the upper circle.  Moreover, being rich or famous undoubtedly makes you responsible to those who support you, and all the lives you can impact with one small mistake. This can be seen from Klein’s behaviour and choices, as well as other leaders and upper echelons members. All the faceless human beings who suffered the most amidst the fights of the powerful beings symbolises the real world also - most of the impact of the powerful are felt by the weaker ones.

Here comes the last bit before I rant too much - the fact that while Klein is indeed amazing, he relies a LOT on others for help. Which I think many of us need to learn from, as I think as a society, many of us tend to avoid seeking help, admit our vulnerabilities to others. It was refreshing to see an MC who is selfish in his own way, cares about his own life, and will be proactive in protecting both himself and his mental health. It really felt realistic when he took the cowardly way out or went ‘go to the Church for help’. Yet, he is also sacrificial as we can see at the end, and there are things more important to him than life. He is a very practical and priority oriented person. Although he doesn’t lower all his defences at the end, and has some secrets - he does take the initiative to seek out trustworthy individuals to entrust his life and plans to his partners. He has also shown time and time again how grateful he is for the help and how he returns the favour. We have seen his acts of kindness, both big and small along the way, and this would become a dissertation if I should list out all his acts. 

But this brings me to the next part - I love Klein’s interaction and relationship with everyone. They’re all unique in their own ways, and support Klein as different pillars. Just like how a house needs different pillars of support, all his companions provide him with different facets of a relationship, support and humanity. I am actually really grateful that CF did not include a love interest for Klein, because it does not suit his personality and mindset. Klein has stated that it is not his priority, and he wants to go home, then later on, it was too dangerous to become too close to others as well. If it was any other character with a different personality, mindset and priorities, romance could be possible. But with a practical and priority oriented Klein, it wouldn’t make sense for him to have a love interest. I’m not saying it’s not possible to focus on the apocalypse, gain strength and fall in love at the same time, but as someone who is somewhat similar to Klein in his thinking and values, I would make the same decisions as him. Heck, if I were transmigrated as well, I’d be pissed and want to go home ASAP. Life is not always great, but I have things I worked hard for here, family and friends. Plus, if I knew the world apocalypse was coming, and all the madness of the world, I’d just be wanting to go home. A demoness could come up to me and I’d just say - can you bring me back home? If not, can you make sure the family and friends I’ve made along the way safe? Then if like Klein, I found out the truth, I’ll just work hard on bettering myself and distancing myself from close companions to not endanger them. Lmao I already self-isolate enough when I’m in trouble lol. Working on it though as reading LOTM made me feel more comfortable and be more proactive in seeking support and help when I need it.

Yes, I do have my own personal ships which I will not name, as that’s not the purpose of this reddit and I don’t want to start a ship war - but even I would find it iffy if CF wrote it in. Unless it was a reasonable development I suppose (I’m not Adam I swear to Mr. Fool). But I can’t imagine it really. But, good news: no canon ships mean all ships are free (for the love of Mr. Fool, as long as the ship is APPROPRIATE, please don’t spread corruption.). Each ship brings its own unique tropes, humour or angst and I absolutely love it. (Honorary mention for Klein x Money and Klein x Bathroom ship)

Oh wait, before I end, I know some people are divided on liking/disliking certain characters, and I understand some side characters, esp TC members could be expanded on more. I share the same views, but I also think CF, as an experienced writer himself, expects people to see this flaw and knows himself that certain things can be better - he has mentioned before he has a few things he could work on. But what’s done is down, what’s written is written down. I do have some thoughts on the flaws of LOTM, but I’m in the high/low/overhwlemed of finishing the book, and I cannot think comprehensively and objectively about LOTM. But I can say CF gave us what he promised from the first volume, and fulfilled many of our wishes in watching Klein grow, and in learning about the world. He has done a phenomenal job in doing a research and writing down a story with perhaps the best world building, mysteries and plot twist I have read I full heartedly embrace the horrors of coincidences, pregnancies and mushrooms - Thank you, Cuttlefish, for writing something so great, for giving me something to look forward to everyday, for giving me a story with strong themes I could write a dissertation about and a good storyline. I’m glad I picked up this book, and I’m glad people glaze it.

Quick mentions of other things I like bc this is getting long: 

The FIGHT SCENES. In my reading experience, LOTM has the best fights I’ve ever read. The most creative, mind boggling and plot twisting fights that involves unique abilities, creative ways of using tools and abilities, 5D brain chess game that makes my brain twist in enjoyment, solving the puzzles of what the goals of each character is.

Klein’s personas. I love them all.

Sealed artefacts, just the concept and those with living characters are hilarious, esp when they ‘play’ with Klein above the gray fog or when Klein puts two sealed artefacts tgt.

In general, the character arc for the diff characters and side characters (Danitz, Anderson, Prissy, Shermane, Old Kohler, Daisy’s family, Sammers, Dunn and Daly etc.). (I do think they can be expanded more and be more fleshed out but that’s for another time if I ever review what could be improved. But I like where the TC members ended up.) Each side character has their own stories too and they pull at my heart.

Teamwork. This is vital in every single one of Klein’s plan.

Benson and Melissa… I could rant.

This fandom. The cult like ness, the memes etc. Most people are quite nice in general though, at least, when I scroll through reddit and in my comments. I've been avoiding a few things out of spoilers though.

There were also so many beautiful and impactful quotes, I want to create a document with them when I reread LOTM. But I’ll end with this:

“I can feel your joy, your exhaustion, your faith in life, and the heavy responsibility that you have borne from your letters. I can roughly guess why you ultimately made that choice. If it were me, I might not even be able to make such a decision.”

“From the beginning, you’ve been a guardian. You mimicked others until you were mimicked by others.”

Klein has truly been an inspiration for me. I started reading this during a low period of time, and honestly, seeing Klein fight so hard for his loved ones and for himself, gave me the energy to find some motivation to work hard and take care of myself. Watching Klein rest, find his humanity, enjoy his food and life in between made me realise the importance of resting and not burning out in real life as well. What is life, what is humanity, if not for the pause in between the madness and cruelty of this world? There is beauty in life that is worth protecting and worth looking forward to. Perhaps it is the chaos that makes the beauty shine brighter, and it is only when we are at our weakest that we are the strongest. After all, it is easy to be strong when one is in a good state, but not so much when you are at your weakest. Watching Klein struggle against CW towards the end, when the thoughts of giving up was so prominent - after all of his achievements, this was perhaps Klein’s greatest feat. Just purely not giving up when it was so, so easy to. Especially when it was all his anchors that helped him keep him sane. I hope everyone here has some anchors, people they care about, to help keep them grounded amidst any hardships you may face.

Anyways, thanks for reading this long rant and for witnessing my journey. May the Fool bless you all. Have a great day/afternoon/night!

Time for me to read the side stories and COI.

Ugh, I really want to rant more but my brain is not braining with me after a lack of sleep from binging then heading straight to work. I swear I had like, a really good outline in my head. I was prepared to write a dissertation.

Oh one thing, I love how the things we fear are things you don’t expect - it’s not monsters or strong abilities, but small things like coincidences, forgetting/rememebring something (I recall the horror of reading Roselle saying he forgot something and realising he was corrupted) or things like Mr. Door is actually saying Don’t save me, or how there are so many diff ways you can suffer and die like reading, thinking, looking, hearing at the wrong things/things you shouldn’t hear or look at etc. The whole concept of corruption and cosmos is just so intriguing and how knowledge can make you suffer.

Note: Ngl, I also cringed alongside Klein when he got a church, and read the holy bible. Proud of him but also lmao.

Mini character review in comments below bc this is long: (Please note I am sleep deprived from all the reading and working, it might not make sense, I love all TC members. I miss them alr.)

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Alger - Love his glazing, experience and guidance of everyone. He inspires me and I think represents all the groups of people who are held back by society and life. He is a very complex character with his own motivations, strength and flaws. I think he was written to glaze The Fool and to show us what most people thought of strong evil Gods, but also to make us readers excited about TC meetings and how others view the Fool. I do wish we could’ve seen more of his life and his actions, but it warms my heart to see his sceptical nature and cold heart turn warm, and his relationship with Derrick. He gained a lot more warmth in his life, and I’m happy for that. He didn’t have a great childhood but watching him help those younger than him, and him being proactive in helping others was great. I love seeing him subtly become more grounded and closer with everyone. (I’d write more but I’m running out of space to give way for some important discussion on some characters that I’ve noticed). Imo, He plays an important role in describing many of us who submit to authority and fear, but also has an ambitious side to him. He knows how to play his strength, and he is a ‘guide’ to the readers and TC members that allows the story to move forward.

Audrey - Love her growth, warm heart and bravery to mature from a 17 year old naive girl to a woman who is proactive and tries her best to help others while dealing with her darker thoughts. (I understand she is a very divisive character, some love her, some hate her - I see both points of views. But liking characters are subjective. When reading about disliking Audrey, I was mostly focused on the analysis of CF’s writing instead, as I know me liking or disliking Audrey’s personality is just a matter of personal preference. I was concerned for her character at first but I think CF did realise the problem and slowly grew her arc. I do think CF has planned her arc from the very beginning, but it was slow at first. I won’t comment how much I like her character or how CF wrote her but, in general, I do like her like all the TC members, and I do wish more people of her status in the real world were like her.)

Derrick - Proud of his growth and determination + his innocence and kind heart. His loyalty and bravery as a child is worth commending. It is not easy to live in the FloG and to kill his parents, and to find the way out. Now he is someone important in the Church and for his people. The responsibilities on him has grown and I can’t wait to see how he has become in the future. (Sorry had to rant on this little sun. I think it is easy to overlook him as a character sometimes but imagine living in his environment. I would suffer.) I would rant more but sorry my eyes are hurting rn, ben staring at the screen too long.

Fors - Honestly at first glance, she seems lazy, but I think we all forget she worked in a hospital before (I think? Idk if she was a doctor or surgeon). Can you imagine how hard she must’ve worked for that? The patients she must’ve seen, the bad cases, the people crying, the patience, empathy and steadfastness she must have? There’s a reason the Abraham wife took her in. Then she became a bestselling author. She’s the epitome of success at whatever she wants to do. No doubt she worked hard in those field. Yes, she has her own advantages with regards to her growth as a Beyonder, she did have it relatively easy - but don’t forget, The Fool, TC members and Abraham family can only give her support and guide her. She was the one who had to take the steps herself. They can hold her hand, but she must walk with her own two feet, and as a Beyonder, that is not easy as well. She worked hard to digest her potions and help the people she care about. She can be lazy, but when it comes to her values like protecting the Abraham family, Xio and ppl she cares for, she will work hard. But to hate a character for having things easier than others feels a little sad. It reminds me in real life of people who hate people who were born with good luck or good family and benefits, things they cannot control. Same with some people who hate Audrey for having it easy. I’m happy for people who are lucky, sad for those who are not - In my mind, it is more important to focus on the important issues such as how we can decrease the inequality between people and growth in life + career. As long as those with benefits use their advantages to help others, I think that’s the best they can do already. Sorry long rant about Fors and Audrey. But also, it would be al little monotonous if all TC members struggled to grow. I think CF did this to show some disparity in how diff people grow as a Beyonder. Having different roles in life allows one to increase their sequence in different ways - be it fast or slow, and some things are out of their control.

Emlyn - Our messiah - our saviour - our lord of dolls and the pride of Sanguine. While I find his character hilarious, I do like his growth in understanding that being the ‘messiah’ comes with its own responsibilities. He brings some lightheartedness and allows us to compare his inexperience to other TC members’ experience. These characters are required for us to understand Alger and other experienced characters’ wisdom, and for us to witness The Moon’s growth at the end.

Cattleya - Her character is very complex, and that’s what I like about her character. Parts of her personality reminds me of me as well, which made it a bit hard for me to read. Especially when Audrey analysed her it felt like viewing me as well. It’s not about Cattleya’s complex relationship with Bernadette/motherlike figure, but her personality of being cautious and how she tries to hold herself up well in front of others and works hard to become a powerful figure. Then we only realise how she feels like a child and seeks consolation and protection from others later from Audrey’s analysis and Klein who saw her in her dream. I do think she could be developed more, but I do liked the scenes we have of her where she showcases her wisdom, experience and abilities. She’s like the female version of Alger. I have to admit I was a bit pissed at Cattleya and lost my trust in her but I slowly regained it back. People make mistakes, learn from it, and hopefully don’t make it twice. She deserves a chance to learn.

Leonard + Pallez - OUR DEAR POET!!! I really thought he was going to be our antagonist, and I was influenced by Klein. Although I chuckled at his antics and his ‘protagonist of times’ personality, I was also quite fearful and paranoid of his every actions at the beginning. But after Volume 1, my heart just broke for him. Imagine losing your captain of a few years, and a colleague whom you learnt to trust. I honestly think he has lost many people throughout his time as a Beyonder up to his final status as a high ranking deacon. It has already been mentioned that it is common to have to fight against your colleagues. I’ve no doubt he lost many. He is perhaps one of my fav characters ngl, watching him go for revenge, get stronger, and finally dig that grave and try his best to help his friend. His relationship with Pallez is hilarious as well. He has his own strength, and I do wish we saw more of that + sleepless pathway abilities in midsequence. We have Arianna for high sequence and Tingen’s Leonard low sequence. Proud of his growth though. He is perhaps one of the fastest official Beyonder to rise up the ranks. Yes, he had Pallez’s guidance, but look at Pallez - do you think he would help Leonard like that? Pallez seems more like someone who helps during life or death situation, gives some useful information, and guides his students to his own conclusions rather than giving the answers straight up - unless concise answers are required. At least, that’s my assumptions based on his convos with Pallez. Besides, Leonard had to do the acting himself, Pallez can’t act for him. I’m sure he did solve many cases in the Church and acted hard. He was almost on par with Klein, just like a month or two behind, at least until Seq 5, when Klein massively shot up the ranks due to his circumstances. Praise Pallez though, yes he was hiding all the time, but to hide from THE AMON for this long? Honestly he did quite well and did help Klein and Leonard massively with his own wisdom.

Xio - Looking as a character as a whole, I do like her personality and mindset. She’s an inspiration. She works hard, has integrity, holds strong to her values. But we don’t see much of her. I’m sure she’s a great MI9 Colonel, and people respect her, but I honestly for the first time, can’t write that much about her. I like her concept, and I hope she gets more time in COI. Looking at her background, she must have a lot of experience and wisdom from being a bounty hunter until now as an MI9 member.

Amon - I am THIS close to making the monocle emoji into my flair. I use it all the time in my texts now and it is one of my most frequently used emoji. He is one of my fav antagonist with such unique ways of making us feel terrified and horrified and his deception skills are maxed out. Especially his final battle with Klein. He is cunning, mysterious and a joy. A joy to read. Not to experience. I literally love Pallez’s quote about Amon. 

Adam - Our Visionary, our author, the one who made us all terrified of coincidences. I thought he’d be leaning on Klein’s side due to his help in Klein’s Seq 4 arrangements but oh was I wrong. I love being wrong. I love how complex the brothers are, and how even saying his name omg. The scene where he was next to Anderson and Danitz, and how he could be beside you and you wouldn’t know, and how he can make things happen - he is wow.

Evernight Goddess - PRAISE THE GODDESS! Our initial investor, our saviour, our lovely transmigrator!!! I love her so much, she has helped Klein a lot and honestly is on par with Amon and Adam, perhaps higher. She is the hidden manipulator and schemer behind it all alongside Adam, and I love it, how everything slowly revealed towards Amanisis and when Klein finally met her. Then her and Lilith’s betrayal, then her killing Klein omg I was like why then I realised why and was like wow. I would rant more but my brain is not working anymore. I am also considering choosing the sleepless pathway as my flair. Ofc not just bc of her but honestly with my lifestyle and personality it’d be pretty easy to act it out.

I wanted to add Azik but I'm actually really tired but I love his relationship with Klein, his personality, his wisdom - literally made him my profile icon lol. I think, I would be grateful if I had a teacher like him. I love the letters he and Klein sent to each other, watching their relationship grow, their trust with one another. He is and always will be Klein's eternal teacher, mentor and friend.

On a final, final, final note - thank you Cuttlefish and Klein, for bringing me this miraculous world and characters, and for giving me some sort of warmth, hope and positivity in this messy thing called life. :)

[rose-of-oz]

⇝ if they were canon ask game: 🎬 + ivy keoka pls!! -✨

Thank you so much for the ask, @oneirataxia-girl!! I’m also gonna tag @luucypevensie, @ginger-grimm, and @dancingsunflowers-ocs since I know they love my girl as well. <3

HOW THEY’D BE INTRODUCED:

Ivy’s first scene would be the same as that of most of the main cast in the pilot episode: singing during her audition for New Directions while a voice-over introduces her by her name and what she’s singing. She’d be singing “Roxie” from Chicago, and it would probably be made clear how similar she was to Rachel, talented and very well knowing it.

WHO THE FANDOM SHIPS THEM WITH:

Probably a decent mix of a bunch of other characters. Her main ship would be Sam, of course, but there would also be people who shipped her with Artie and Mike and even Santana or Rachel or Quinn.

WHY THE FANDOM LOVES THEM:

Ivy is very similar to Rachel but not half as arrogant or stuck-up, so I think a lot of people would like her because they consider her a better alternative to Rachel - all of the talent and determination but none of the big head about it. They would probably also appreciate how often she calls other characters out on their bullshit, even Rachel and Finn and Mr. Schue, and a lot of her snappy comments and feminist lines would probably be the source of a lot of memes and GIFs and incorrect quotes.

WHY THE FANDOM HATES THEM:

Despite not being as arrogant as Rachel, Ivy is still uber-competitive and refuses to let anybody but Mercedes and her family closest to her for the longest time, especially the Unholy Trinity and any of the football boys, because she doesn’t trust them to really want to be her friend. This can definitely come off as cold and bitchy, which she honestly is a little bit, but I think a lot of people would only see it on the surface level and hate her because of it.

WHAT THE CAST RELATIONSHIP WOULD BE LIKE:

Auli’i Cravalho is an absolute gem, so I can totally see her getting along great with the cast! She’d probably be real-life besties with Amber Riley as well as on the screen, and I can definitely see her cracking jokes in interviews with Kevin Hale and Dianna Agron and just being really cute friends with everyone.

WHAT THEIR AUDITION SCENE WAS:

I imagine the audition scene for Ivy’s role would have been her first scene, auditioning for New Directions, accompanied by a reading of her first voice-over, even though that wouldn’t come until a few episodes later. It would be a perfect way to test auditioning actresses’ singing and how they could introduce the character, and reading the voice-over lines would allow the casting staff to see how they could embody the character beyond the first episode.

DEPENDANT ON THE FANDOM, WHO THEY’D BE AT PRESS TOURS/AT COMIC CON WITH:

I don’t think the Glee cast ever went to Comic Con, but during interviews I imagine Auli’i would probably mainly be with Amber Riley, since they play best friends, and probably Chord Overstreet in later seasons once Ivy and Sam’s relationship progresses.

IF THEY SPOIL THINGS:

I don’t really think Auli’i seems like the spoiling type, so probably not.

IF THE MOVIE/SHOW HAS ENDED, IF THEY’RE HAPPY WITH THEIR CHARACTER’S ENDING AND THE ENDING AT LARGE:

I think Auli’i would be - by the end of the show, Ivy’s getting ready for her first big Broadway role, she and Sam are in a really good place in their relationship, and she’s even sold some of her original songs to a recording company. What’s not for an actor to be happy about?

send me 🎬 + an oc!!

[kimium]

Tell me your favourite thoughts and ideas about our Saw AU? I love when we talk about it💜💜💜

Oh! How exciting! I love our Saw AU! It's always delightful when I have a moment to talk about it!

For anyone who doesn't know, @m34gs and I have a Twisted Wonderland Saw AU. See this link to my friend's pinned post to read ask answers AND the two Saw AU fics (so far) written by me! Please note any tags and warnings!

My favourite thoughts/ideas about our Saw AU

-Majority of Yuu's friends are serial killers and they have no idea

The sheer humour of Yuu blissfully unaware while their friends are out putting people into traps that 9/10 times result in a horrific murder is priceless. Dramatic Irony!!!

-Dark humour potential is everywhere.

Everyone bickers with one another over their traps! Petty bickering and nitpicking as if they're not talking about murdering people via complicated traps? Watching their traps with the same air as "could we get this done? I have other things to do today"? All of these options are perfection.

-The moment someone being put into a trap has been Mean or Rude to Yuu in some way all bickering stops.

Nothing is funnier to me than the 180 presented where suddenly it's Team Work is Important and We are all Dedicated to this Group Project, etc. If only Yuu knew that they're the glue to getting everyone to set aside their pettiness and become models for "Team Work makes the Dream Work". Yuu truly is the most protected person in the world and they have no idea.

-Everyone is one step away from always shoving someone who was "mildly rude" to Yuu into a trap.

Love that John has to remind everyone to have variety in their victim choices and NOT make it only people who they believe "have slighted Yuu". They all give him a Shocked Pikachu Meme look.

-"Oh no! We made plans with Yuu but forgot and now our trap conflicts with seeing Yuu! How can we make this trap run faster?"

That entire ask is my favourite head canon for this AU because it does exactly what makes my brain vibe with the idea: "Sure, we kill people but seeing Yuu is more important".

-Everyone's different views and motives for following John Kramer's philosophy.

Just love that we've established why and how everyone is different in this AU. It adds so much to this idea rather than having this remain a "Silly, crack AU" idea. I mean, it still is silly and a crack AU, but there is depth to our silliness!

-Not everyone is heavily involved with the traps.

One thing I enjoy is how we rated everyone's willingness to help their house warden out. For example, I am a big fan of Trey knowing what happens and by not doing anything beyond shrugging and baking he's complicit in murder.

-Yuu/Everyone and the dynamic in this AU

I know we haven't discussed this in great detail, but the fact everyone is 100% willing and has killed for Yuu can lend an interesting dynamic to explore if romantic vibes are added to the AU.

-This AU couldn't have happened without you, friend.

I've said this to you multiple times, but I will say it again: I love this AU with all my heart because it is truly a combination of our two interests. I would NEVER write a "sort of" Saw AU without you because I wouldn't have thought about it. That's what makes this AU so perfect and wonderful in my eyes. I cherish it and I cannot wait to see what you write!

And there you have it! My personal favourite ideas and thoughts about this AU! Let me know what you think!

[kidgetrash]

Heyy , ever since you said that every questions of the ship meme were done, I was wondering another question: what were the thoughts of their friends and family about them being a couple ? Like , the reactions?

This is great! I so enjoyed doing this one!

Team Voltron:

Shiro: Shiro is so happy not only for Keith, but for Pidge. Until Krolia came into his life he had no one to call his own for a long time, and this was not only different but meant he was finding his own family (excluding the team who obviously he is close with but not close with). He knows family is important to Pidge too and that Keith has just been unofficially adopted into the Holt clan.

Lance: Oh, Lance. AND JUST HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GONG ON UNDER HIS NOSE?! He goes through the five stages of grief trying to get his head around the fact two of his best friends are now romantically entangled! Nope, this is some sick joke, where's the Earth calendar, it must be April Fools! Mullet?!?! And Pidge?!?! How dare he steal her innocence by actually loving her!?! Listen, Pidge, if you were that desperate for a relationship, I can date you, just to give you the experience, and then you can go back to being you and not being a girl who does...things with mullet. No? He pouts for about a week and won't speak to either of them. Finally, acceptance. If that's what makes you guys happy, then fine. But if you hurt her...

Hunk: Teary-eyed, excited, great big group bear hugs during which Pidge pulls a face and Keith secretly enjoys because honestly he's touch starved but doesn't realise it. Hunk offers to cook them a fancy meal for date night, he just needs a few days to source the perfect ingredients!

Allura: So happy for them. She gets excited thinking this means Pidge will start wearing girly clothes and makeup for dates. Is very disappointed when this isn't the case.

Coran: "Oh, I thought you were already an item. Isn't that why you were always undressing each other with your eyes at the dinner table? No? Oh well, I look forward to seeing what human courtship rituals entail. Now, go ahead and act natural." *starts observing them both far too closely until Allura drags him away and has a quiet word about boundaries.*

The Holt Family:

Sam: Can't believe his little girl is growing up so fast. Realises how much Keith has changed since his days as a garrison cadet and that they are probably going to be good for one another. But it's just a nice simple innocent relationship. Will not tolerate thinking about his little girl being...active!

Colleen: KNEW IT! She called it months ago, and has been asking very indirect direct questions that only a mom can get away with. "Why don't you invite Keith to family game night this week?" Appearing in the garrison mess hall and acting surprised that they're together, then joining them for lunch. "So, Keith. What's new? Katie told me about just how form-fitting your Blade uniform is..." "MOM!!!"

Matt: Happy for them, but still has the big brother talk with Keith. He remembers just how disruptive he was back in the old days when he was a cadet and hoped that, as he appeared now, he had matured beyond his fiery temper. He had watched them together though, and could see how tenderly he looked at his sister, which did set his mind at rest but also made him contemplate far too much how Pidge had grown (glowed?) up, and how happy he made her. He's absolutely ready to go to bat for her if Keith ever does anything to hurt her!

Krolia: This man before her, the little boy she wasn't sure she would ever see again, in love! She knows a relationship between a human and a galra (even half) can be tricky, but also how rewarding. She can see just how happy the smallest paladin makes him and hopes that now the war is over they can have the relationship she always wished she could have had.

Bonus:

Bae Bae and Kosmo: NEW ADOPTED SIBLING AND PLAYMATE!

Ask me my Kidge headcanons!

[monster-noises]

not to be basic but 1 and 2 from that meta ask meme?

all the question are on the list for a reason Anon! no need to put yourself down for it v-v 1&2 are Excellent questions I"m happy to answer! now. I Imagine you intended this for Lazarus, But! you were not specific so you will now get a Very long post about Everyone >:3c (and by everyone I mean the main 3 characters I consider 'Bartholomew's Nasty Little Bastards')

First up, of course, we will do Lazarus! 1. What inspired you to create your oc?

The really obvious answer here is Re8, my instant consuming love for it and for Karl, the overwhelming need to like... Participate, somehow, in that world, but not being able to cross the Full self-insert hurdle.. He's basically a very Warped-beyond-recognition version of a self-insert, a guy all his own but in somewhere still very Connected to the Me. But the more like.. in depth stuff, like what inspired Lazarus to Be Who He Is is like.. I love like.. weird Art Gore, Body-As-Art kinda shit, Meaningful and disturbing.. somehow Comforting and he's kinda the perfect vessel for that. I've had the Human Taxidermy Artist thing floating around the back of my mind for a decade or so just Waiting for a place to land and Laz was a golden opportunity v-v.

2.Why does your oc look the way they do? What are your reasons for their appearance? When I was settling Lazarus's design I wanted him to have this appearance of like, a very refined and elegant individual; beautiful in a sort of Severe way, but twist it up ever so slightly so he registers as Uncanny and Gross. Beauty Hiding Filth and all that. (just think about how many Fluids get into that Velvet Ensemble on the daily, it's Not Good.) Like the way his pants cut him and the vertical lines make him just All Leg. And his pallid bloodstained skin which makes him look like a Walking Corpse, hair slicked back with its own grease.. a figure that's bewitching and unsettling to witness also yes, the hair is Both a Me thing and a Bride of Frankenstein thing.

Virgil always feels right coming Second on these things.. 1. Inspiration Virgil is ooooooooooold, he's so Old, virgil is Ancient Virgil is possibly my oldest still-in-use OC, I created him a Looooooong ass time ago. like 2010 Long Ass Time. That is to say I do not know Why she exists.

Okay, Not entirely true. I made her for a comic I was writing with my friend at the time. She was my part of the main villain pair, but I do Not remember how I ended up on Toxicologist prodigy but make it Cowboy (which was always a bit of a misnomer for the vibe but nowadays Especially he's less Johnny Cash more Nickleback) I Think, I Think, what I wanted was to have a character that contrasted the Hardest against my friends main villain? who was very Orderly and Serious and Efficient?? beats me though that was So long ago.. I was also just listening to a Lot of Nickleback-esk music at the time, which may have been an influencing factor lmao

2. Appearance Virgil's appearance is pretty simple to explain, all told! He's a Country Boy/Girl, rowdy and ostentatious, and very secure in her understanding of that part of herself. It's where she comes from, and despite his rocky relationship with home it's who he is, y'know? The brightest (and most dangerous) mind in Toxicology doesn't Have to look exactly how you'd Expect her to look now does she? (Virgil pictured here on the Right)

Now our wonderful little Ulysses vwv)/ 1. Inspiration oh this is an Interesting one!! Ulysses (and Charlie, for that matter) came from 2 distinct places to land where they are now.. From time to time I like to entertain the idea of starting a band and having a musical career of some kind, something that blends my love of folk/bluegrass, prog-rock, and power metal into a loud villainous and exhilarating sound. and a few years back, as I was getting into Bluegrass for the first time, I was struck by a Concept for a Concept Album. It was called The Book of Brother UIysses; the story of a sniveling little priest in the frontier days and his Cursed Book, following him around as he fed townsfolk to whatever entity lived in its pages until he was finally Consumed himself. I toyed with it for a bit and eventually put it back on the shelf until the Musical Fancy struck me once more, untiiiiil I was listening to friends at the table: sangfielle and had both a deep desire to do a Horror-Fantasy Western ttrpg And satisfy my ever-present desire to weasel my way into playing two characters at once.. and I pulled ol' Ulysses off the shelf again and made some.. Additions. This has evolved now into them being just like.. free floating OC's? I don't plan on making a comic out of them, I would Still love an opportunity to play them in a TTRPG setting, but I'm not Banking on it, and hey, who knows, maybe I Will make that album someday, but for now they just kinda amorphously Exist within Something resembling a Narrative in my head after a long and complicated journey...

2. Appearance Similar to Lazarus, I wanted Ulysses to be unsettling, but in a Slightly different way. He's too clean- his all black outfit is never grimy, he is clean shaven his hair perfectly quaffed, with that plastered on grin, under eyes obscured by reflective glasses the vibes are just Immediately Off. To the flip side of that I always wanted him to look kinda.. pathetic. When we see him outside of his Persona as The Keeper of the Book, as just a man that is still Human in many ways; he's just.. small, waifish, behind the glasses his eyes are big and jittery, like a pray animal caught in a snare and still trying to fight its way out..

[alizjay]

Easter Feelings

Next Sunday is Easter...the worst day of the year. I'm reminded of the beliefs that I used to hold so dear. It was the day that always magnified the evidence of deceit because instead of just plain worship, they all go above and beyond to welcome and greet all the potential new members that appear through their doors. The music has to be just right so they'll feel that longing in their souls. 

Of all the days to be authentic and real and full of love, you would think that Easter Sunday would be but instead they just enjoy feeling like they're above all the poor desperate people all searching for meaning but all they receive is advice about cleaning if they decide to visit again the next Sunday, “Oh honey we really don't love you if you can't donate money.” 

As a child, my brothers and I were the only kids that were forced to show up…for the sunrise Easter service that we shared with the other church in town…whose pastor’s kids were not forced to attend because he had a “worldly wife” who didn't force her kids to drown in the muck and mire of churchy strife. Unlike my mother, she had a career and her children had bad attitudes and started drinking beer when they became teenagers so this guy's wife was a failure cause she got a divorce and escaped all the haters. My mom would just bash her although she secretly envied her. She had the guts to get away from the preacher's wife life. 

But back to the point about hearing the resurrection story after the good Friday service just a couple days before. Or the Candlelight service every christmas eve full of brainwashed people who are tricked into belief… cause when u raise your kid in church, they really don't have any choice but to accept what they've been told because that's all they ever know. And they are told that anything outside of this tight circle is from hell and they must spank their sinful children so god can “wash them white as snow.” 

2020 was the worst, but at the same time was the best…my first Easter Sunday that I didn't have to stress about a new dress. We just watched a service on Facebook live from the comfort of the sofa wearing jammies and drinking coffee without pasting smiles on our faces…my kids felt free and I felt relaxed and my husband could doze off without me fearing a verbal attack of harsh judgment and stupid peer pressure to dress my children to the nines…for once, no expectations for them to act like robots and perfectly mind…no one telling them that they're evil and to ignore their hearts’ desire, no one making them have anxiety about some future lake of fire. No more flashbacks from my childhood of being forced to wear a dress. I felt so gross feeling my legs touch together. I wish I could just be free to look like a mess. 

But that was then and this is now, who would've thought that perfect-acting preachers daughter would grow up to break her vow, that she made at age eleven to avoid the terrors of her dad…I thought it was a fear of hell but really I was just tired of my daddy always being mad…mad at me for not understanding math and for forgetting everything that I was asked to do, like a permission slip for a stupid field trip or my shoes and clothes for PE, for not studying my spelling words and for spacing out in class and bringing home a report card with a D…in science cause I hated the teacher. He was really fucking mean. He made my best friend feel stupid and told dumb blonde jokes and made fun of us girls who were grossed out when dissecting. But really a part of my aversion to him was probably the mustache that could've used a good trim. It looked just like daddy's mustache from back when I was five during the worst of his abuse, when I spaced out to survive. 

So Hoppy Easter, fellow heathens. What shall we do on Sunday? We are sleeping in, making homemade pizza, and avoiding social media all day…I don't want to see any “He is risen” memes or pictures of children cuddling live baby lambs. I'm not afraid of going to hell or eternal damnation, but please please please PLEASE don't you dare tell my dad!!! 

[sadistpet]

(( ok, i saw you post a portrayal meme i think and i just wanted to drop in there for a quick minute and do a thing; I AM SORRY IF THIS MAKES LITTLE SENSE I AM SO SLEEPY

oh my lord, where did you come from? like, you appeared one day and the volgin inside me was like 'AY OOP U WOT' and dont get me wrong i need to get on volgin and let these men make love but shhh enough of that a minnie while i talk some waffle;

firstly, your writing is. MWAH. the goOD CUSH. the best cush even? i've seen you talk of your education and like, in my opinion, it goes beyond that. like, i read your writing and im just- i feel as though i should get a hot cup of cocoa and snug up as if i'm reading a book. you're articulate and your words are beautifully written. im no critic by any means (high school level BAYBEEEE) but i can tell you now that when i read your writing, i'm simply blown away by how incredible it is. you can see the passion in your words, the way you describe things, people, places, etc. it's like seeing someone paint a beautiful picture - but with words! (if that makes sense???)

as for your portrayal; THANK YOU SO MUCH. seriously, thank you for showing us raikov. thank you for giving him more than just 'the pretty boy comic relief lover of big scary man'. you've given him so much more, while staying canon, respecting canon and doing canon justice. i think if kojima saw the way that you write raikov, he would give it his blessing because you truly do such a magical job with the character. i always say to people who are passionate about their characters that i love that, i admire it. it excites me seeing writers clearly in love with what they're writing and i always get that vibe from you. and AND as one side character writer to another, straight up solidarity with you, my friend. keep doing a wonderful job (i know u will).

fINALLY cause i have WAFFLED MASSIVELY, you - are so wonderful. seriously, always supportive, always sweet, always kind. i want to pat your head and show u to everyone like that one will smith meme. you're fab and i am SO so glad that we're moot moots. thank you for being so fabulous, i'd tell you to keep being amazing but i know that you will. <3 ))

OH MY GODDDDDS HAN YOU ARE SO SWEET ( CRUSHES YOU AFFECTIONATELY LIKE WHEN RAIDEN DOES IT WITH A SPINE ) YOU ARE LITERALLY SO SWEET IM THROWING UP SCREAMING CRYING

to answer your question of where i came from i was in fact delivered to this world in a very small little basket with pink bows on it and an atomic bomb in my hands. and i found out about raikov because my beloved showed me mgs2 and he loves raiden ( me too ) and raikov is obviously linked on his page and something about him just made me keep coming back. maybe because i am also blonde haired blue eyed love eating whiny mean and annoying. but something about him i just needed to write. i love love love taking neglected characters and doing a 2000s makeover to make them into an actual Character and he was a perfect candidate !

and then i nailed down this url and i just HAD to make this blog ESPECIALLY WHEN I SAW THAT YOUR BLOG EXISTED. OH MY GOD. i was like no now i need to theres a fucking stellar writer here writing volgin. i need to throw raikov at them with all the strength of a baseball pitcher or whatever theyre called idk baseball terms BUT YOU GET THE PICTURE. part of the reason this blog exists is literally because of yours. SO YOU HAVE YOURSELF TO THANK

YOURE SO SWEET since i developed cfs/me in my mid-late teens ive felt my writing has kinda. gone downhill. so it makes me so happy to hear that people are still enjoying what i'm doing ;o; YOU ARE SO SWEET I AM SO GLAD I DIDNT LET THE AVPD WIN AND STOP ME FROM MAKING THIS BLOG CAUSE AUGH. AUGH. everyone intimidated me so much but youre all so so sweet and nice to me i fucking baheem sob sob THANK U SO MUCH. GRABS YOU

[mikuni14]

Bed Friend, Chains of Heart ep 6

Bed Friend Can Uea have a moment of peace? Can he catch a break?? I feel my heart being cut into very thin slices every time I think about him. What a poor boy. Every time he feels a little happiness, even a little hope, someone else feels fucking obliged to remind him that these feelings are beyond his reach. And knowing Uea's history, he may think that these good, positive things.. he may not deserve them 😥 I'm not surprised that he wants to quit, since on the one hand he feels constant pressure from his creepy boss, and on the other hand King is causing him pain. Every time I saw Uea tense up about Krit, I literally felt a flood of pure hatred and loathing. I don't really understand King with his "matching". He is not interested in it, he claims that it doen’t mean anything, that it is "his mom thing", but King never refuses and goes to these meetings. What message does this send to the Uea? That their relationship could end at any time. I'm not surprised that Uea understood it that way and immediately started building walls around himself. He knows he has to protect himself from being hurt, from opening up too much to King. Because King, despite how much I like him and for generally being the perfect type of boyfriend, he IS questionable becasue of this.

Jade is absolutely the most wonderful friend in the world. His unwavering support for Uea, his perceptiveness to any Uea’s discomfort, his courage when Uea needs to be defended. And him being so cute about it... I love him so much ✨🧁

"Do we have to be a good guy, so that they won't leave us?" 🥺

The show is still great, despite breaking my heart.

Chains of Heart Me watching ep 1-4 of CoH: 🤔😏😍🥳🥳🥳 Me watching ep 5-6 of CoH: 😑🤔🤔🤔🙄😑 *tired Ben Affleck meme*

I feel like the series has lost its way. It's always been exaggerated, which didn't bother me at all, but now it's comically exaggerated. Ken's absolute devotion to Din was touching, now his shrine devoted to Din in the hotel room is just funny. In earlier episodes, I liked how Ken was faithful to Din, but we could see Lue messing with his mind as well. It was very interesting, their scenes together were very exciting - and there were more and more of them with each ne ep. But from episode 5 we could see that Ken is back to being completely engrossed in Din, he doesn't pay attention to Lue who even confessed his love for him, which is a strange thing plot-wise because the show IS about Ken and Lue, they are promoted together, they are depicted as the main couple.. and suddenly, in the middle of the show, one of them completely cuts off from the other. And it's not even shown as if Ken has any lingering feelings for Lue, no! he treats Lue as "just some guy", one of many who flirted with him. I just don’t get it! Also, their scenes together are limited, there are even fewer of them now and they don’t affect their relationship at all (even the confession). In this episode, more time is given to the second couple, which is already established anyway and doesn’t add anything to the story.

Opening scene - I wonder if there were any other people like me who panicked, that the player started playing the episode somewhere from the middle or end instead of the beginning and they frantically turned it off to avoid spoilers, checked that this is actually the beginning episode, then checked if missed something, if there was a special episode or something, and then started watching again in a sense of utter bewilderment 😃😭 The dream scene was very beautiful, shock and awe on Lue's face, Ken's softness, his devotion, even their hair is not styled, they are both very natural and lovely. I'm so looking forward to their sexy scenes together.

The trailer hints that MAYBE the next episode will bring back the dynamic between Ken and Lue, the one that made me obsessively like this series 😉

After their scene on the bridge, I'm starting to think that if Lue is Din, then Lue was never going to admit it to Ken. That it's a joint operation of Din with this doctor and his wife: face change, new identity, now they've dumped someone else's body to finally close this chapter, declare Din dead, so that Din as Lue can get his revenge and get Ken back in the process. It seems to me that Ken's stubbornness in his feelings for Din will be what eventually forces Lue to admit who he is. Lue was very desperate in that scene about Din being dead and Ken giving him a chance. And devastated by Ken's stubbornness. If Lue is Din, hehe 😎

Half-naked Lue covered in scars, overwhelmed with emotion, oh my.. what a sight.. And I'll never get tired of how Lue can't take his eyes off Ken.

Visually, this series is really something else, like I really liked this shot for example:

[howdytherepardner]

feelings within

in which one goes nowhere, a lot of places, fast

~

1. there is a sensation in the body when there are needles in major veins in both of one’s arms (if applicable).

it might be easy, or even natural, to expect that this is pain of a certain degree. i imagine the visual, splayed out and propped up like a turkey pre-roast and subbing an oven thermometer for tubes constantly pulling out and pushing in blood via a machine of constant whirs, is largely disquieting for some. the fear of just one needle is enough for some folks to swear off blood donations period and to dissuade from more than a few medical procedures. i’ve never been too avoidant of the situation, being Weird enough to relish the chance to look at the needle embrace the sensation as it washes over.

but having one in both arms is a new experience for me, and with it new that a new discovery. an arm must remain still when the needle is in, and when both are occupied, both must be still. i can’t say what it’s like to lose a limb, but it did make me think of a reversal of the common trope with tools as ‘an extension of the self.’

2. it would not be a stretch to say that the Smart Phone (or a connection to the internet) is very much a tool that becomes a part of us in such a way that the Severing is felt. my little refurbished friend will tend to die when i even think of using the camera in extreme temperatures; a loss when out-and-about creates a particular sense of disturbance, despite knowing that It in many ways is a disturbance.

but i digress. the jump between one arm and none arm is much larger than two to one, which was made somewhat evident by my choice of music as an intended pass time for the two hours. i was listening with wireless earbuds, and while the staff member attending was very gracious to manually insert the left one after i was already still, it was not all the way in - hanging off the pinna, rather than covering the canal entrance. much to consider beyond just the asymmetry of music, but my own hesitance to ask for it to be readjusted. like when waitstaff asks if the food’s alright, and you say that it’s Perfect, despite the fact that it’s not what you wanted (and probably isn’t the best food in the world).

3. I do wonder about that sometimes. It’s the meme that I see sometime, the girl requesting a correction on behalf of her boyfriend (the Daisy/Luigi “he asked for no pickles” remains a standout). I’m sure there’s that element of timidness, with whatever socio/psychological basis that informs it, but I also do think there’s an element of exploration, tolerance, and/or contentedness.

i did ask eventually, encouraging a staff member to not worry about applying pressure. sealed in, the waiting i expected began.

Set the scene a little more. The space is a blend of hospital and office vibes, with cubicle-esque desks on the east end of the open room, with surfaces for donors in the west. Some more simple surfaces for the standard blood donors in the middle, but west most was two rows of the more intricate set-ups. Seats facing each other (my eyes occasionally made contact with others, but only briefly), with the massive blood processing doohicky right next to them. The seats have a screen installed, with Netflix as an option recommended. Another screen on the doohicky, monitoring things like input/output pressure, blood iron content, and importantly for the experience - an estimated time remaining and a progress bar.

4. where a high fantasy element lacks literal verbal incantation, i always found it interesting to consider what it is that actually causes the magic shit to happen. avatar characters can execute bending forms without needing to actually manipulate things everytime, so what kind of ‘switch’ do they need to flip? the idea of there being some muscle-flex or mentality that allows one to opt in and out of this more freely manipulating state was always funny to ponder.

anyways, my actual time was about 5 minutes longer than my estimate at the start. i would chalk it up to less-than-optimal hydration the 24 hours prior, but in the moment with the stress ball in hand, i really believed that if i found the perfect rhythm of squeezing or breath depth and interval, that it could slice the time into nothing. some of the timing was the machine of course, presumably determined to not take my own life, but the timing Disparity is enough for me to believe that some onus was on me. reaching for straws that slipped through my fingers.

5. that said, i think the attending staff were sure to let me know that i was “almost there.” 10 minutes out, 25 minutes out, a full hour out, just under half of the way. it was this really strange thing, and i imagine medical professionals have to negotiate something a lot with how they provide comfort. since the machine would not deprive me of life after the fact, and presumably low chances of complications (the only qualifier being a minimum blood iron content, weight, and pulse), the choice to offer reassurances is not loaded with many ethical considerations.

it would have been my preference though to just have been left alone, savoring my music over the long course like i preferred - but of course, they upheld a standard of decency and care to check on me. how dare they ask if i wanted a blanket? how insulting, to make sure i was really okay without Netflix for the time! must i not have even a moment to savor any sense of discomfort?

6. because i probably would have been more comfortable if i did have a blanket covering my short sleeved self, the subtle a/c and grey skies outside enough to have a chill walk, but not run, down my spine. i didn’t feel strongly cold, but enough to notice that the blood seemed absent.

unburdened by the bounds of the vein, my self had expanded to share rent with a machine (and my platelets later, i certainly expect, well beyond the confines of the room). seldom do i get to try density like that, and indeed, one feels just a bit closer to being as light as air. it takes a second to get to that subtle high, and with the sensation grounded by the truth of cold and stillness, one recognizes the elation as something realer than a dream.

it made the music that much better. a playlist of old favorites and nothing else to do let the reflection and the feelings and memories from those days come rolling right back.

7. the little sense of pain, then, to know those days as things to remember, and not to be.

8. and roku city scrolling by right through it all. a placeholder, not made to be known or noticed for more than a few moments, known upside down and backwards, all its film references decoded before even halfway.

9. and after it’s done, and the utility of arms, motion, autonomy return, the body maintain a stony sense of numbness. and the little packet of cheez its are never quite as salty, savory as the first time.

10. oh well. the promise of a free t-shirt ft. Joe Cool seems to mean something.