#my favourite paradox has to be this: if god is good

[thermodynamic-comedian]

frey would you kindly keep taking christianity's view of afterlife apart

it's fucking entertaining

its my fate as a born and raised atheist to forever be confused by that stuff. at risk of sounding insensitive (i mean, i am just a rude person in general, this is not new information), its just so funny yet stupid to me. probably because philisophy is my special interest, so the idea of absolute good and absolute evil in the real world feels silly to me idk.

[parmahamlarrie]

Happy September! We are trying something new this month and including my favourite (or one of my favourite) quotes from each fic as I rec it! Let me know if you like it or hate it. I also dived into nearly only short fics this month, but the ones on this list were phenomenal and truly cannot be missed!

🍂 Heat and Greet || @holdingontochaos || 12.4k 🍂 Omegaverse, Alpha Louis, Omega Harry, Friends to Lovers, Co-workers, Travel, Heat Lora has such a talent of writing the give and take of alpha/omega dynamics and it's such a joy to read! "Whether that's because of the glass top bus that allows for really taking in nature, the learning about the history of Sequoias and other trees, or because he's spending unfiltered time with the omega he just happens to be in love with. It could really be any of those reasons... Oh, who he is kidding? Fuck the trees.

🍂 Home Is Nest to You || @ireallysawanangel || 7.3k 🍂 Omegaverse, Alpha Harry, Omega Louis, Time Skips, Hurt/Comfort, Nesting "A thick lump of emotion lodged itself in Louis' throat. No one had ever been so understanding about his nest before..."

🍂 Impactful || @evilovesyou || 2.9k 🍂 Omegaverse, Nesting, Polyamorous Pack, Pack Dynamics, WordPlay '"I read up on it as well,' [Niall] mumbled as he turned a page in his book. 'Some people say it happens when it's true love.' ... 'But that can't be true,' he continued, 'otherwise I would've felt it too.'"

🍂 tonight he's a paradox || @daggerandrose || 2.4k 🍂 Famous/Non Famous, Coachella, Masseuse Louis, Famous Harry "'You never see me wearing a turtleneck because the devil created those. Who wants to be choked by their clothing?' 'I like to be choked.' 'Harold,'"

🍂 and in those rare moments || @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed || 2.1k 🍂 Famous/Non Famous, Exes to Lovers, Singer Harry, Journalist Louis, Unique Structure "I didn’t want to write an album for the fans, or for the general public. This is maybe my most personal album yet, because it’s about self discovery. But I do hope that the listeners can take something from it for themselves, whatever that may be."

🍂 I'd Choose You Over Sleep || @homosociallyyours || 2.1k 🍂 Girl Direction, Fluff, New Relationship, Established Relationship "She figured it would take a while to actually meet someone, though. And then it hadn't."

🍂 I'll Comfort You || @homosociallyyours || 2k 🍂 Omegaverse, Established Relationship, Kidfic, Nesting, Wordplay "When Tilly was born four years ago, her scent wound its way around Louis' heart in a way that only Harry's had before. To say he was keenly attuned to it would be an understatement."

🍂 A Sense of Stability || @neondiamond || 1.9k 🍂 Canon, Established Relationship, Fluff "As he always does, Clifford stays in bed with Louis too, always eager for a lie in with his favourite person. Not that Harry can fault him for it; Louis is his favorite person too, after all."

🍂 Singing Like a Bird 'Bout It Now || @becomeawendybird || 1.8k 🍂 Doctor Louis, Uncle Harry, Kidfic, Meet Cute, Fluff & Humor "'So you're not married?' Oh, god. Louis cringed. That was not what he meant to ask. 'I am so sorry, that was so incredibly-'"

🍂 to suffer || honey_beeing || 1.7k 🍂 Historical, Victorian, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Hidden Relationship "he sleeps between consciousness and sleep like he's too good for either of them. Perhaps it's what the poets call euphoria."

And for a bit of fun inspired by @starrysaturdays, here are my stats this month!

Words read ~ 174,588 (49% less than Aug)

Number of fics read - 57 (40 more than Aug ~ thanks wordplay)

Number of authors - 27 (80% more than Aug)

You can find past months rec list HERE and you can find a Directory of all the fics I rec HERE!

[happilyfeatherafter]

Happilyfeatherafter’s ficrec Fridays

Good friday y'all. Welcome back to a new fortnight of fics that I’ve read and loved recently. I took my first holiday of the year and IMMEDIATELY caught a cold that knocked me out for the week but at least it meant I got reading done. Save me, destiel, save me.

If you want to find more you can see my previous rec lists here!

29 March 2024

virga(e) by @shineforthee (art by @neversleepuntilfive) has gone straight to the top of the favourite fics ever pile, oh my god you guys, please read it immediately and admire the art that inspired it as part of @deancasreversebang. This fic is a thing of beauty from start to finish. In one version of the story of Dean and Cas, we find Castiel perpetually waiting in the desert, when a 26 year old Dean stumbles upon him drawn to the location mid-hunt. They must learn to trust each other, to figure out what's causing the push and pull that bonds them. The poetry of this fic, run through with this yearning devastating emotion on their journey together, coupled with the incredibly evocatively descriptions and research into the setting, come together to make the most gorgeous picture, the desert a place that seems desolate but is teeming with life. Much like the slowburn romance that flourishes between them. It also links back to post-canon in a way that is seeded so carefully and cleverly, and made my heart explode. It's funny, romantic, devastating, emotional, moving....I can't do justice to this fic with such a short snapshot, please read it for yourselves and come yell at me about it. It's so beautiful. shineforthee also has a great 9x06 fanfic gap one shot and an ongoing wip now too and I can't wait to read that! (Somehow need any more convincing? Check out @bloodydeanwinchester's Virga(e) liveblog).

It's all very complex by artichokeflower okay that was all very serious, so let's turn to a short and sweet smut fic that had me giggling gleefully throughout. 'After walking in on Dean's private time, Cas decides to do a little research and experimentation of his own and gets magically trapped in a book about sexual fantasies. And if that means Dean has to go in after him, well what are buddies for, right?' The thing that is just GOLDEN about this fic aside from the hot smut is the dry sense of humour, borderline French Mistake parody level porn and dialogue between Dean and especially Cas which just gets them so well...the cowboy scenes in particular. Glorious: “I’m sorry, Dean. That’s the end of the erotic violence. Are you hurt?” “Is there going to be any sex in your sexy fantasies?” Dean wheezed. “Not that the whole shoot out wasn’t fun. I just wasn’t expecting as much plot is all.” He coughed. That had probably sounded too eager.

Just Being and Just Having by Englandwouldfall I have recced before but is now complete!! This the post-canon fic series delves so incredibly beautifully into Dean and Cas’ history of miscommunication and gives them the chance to truly talk things out, finding themselves falling more deeply in love as they do so and understand their own mistakes but also what makes them work so well together when they’re no longer under Chuck’s thumb. Each chapter feels like therapy and a brain and heart massage! It sticks the landing so well and I just love these boys so much.

Something Happening Somewhen by allthismusic (@folkbloodbaths, art by @eggchef) aaaahhh time travel young Dean brought to the future to meet older Dean and Cas fic trope my beloved. A @deancaspinefest fic, Allthismusic is a fan of the trope too and this fic is a gorgeous tribute to it and the fics that came before. Cas saves 24yo Dean from an accident and brings him to the future when he witnesses what his life will be. Will Cas have to remove his memories to stop a paradox? Sweet and heartfelt, a joy to read.

Books, Pies, and Roommates by @seidenapfel (art by @kitshay) is a @deancaspinefest two-person love hexagon, with some excellently farcical misdirection. Cas moves in to the spare room of Dean's house, but he doesn't meet him, he meets Sam, as Dean is busy working. Cas is professor but helps his cousin out as a barista and his favourite customer is Deano. Dean's intrigued by the barista but he's not his online penpal and best friend Angel. Lines blur, connections are made, and hearts are gonna get broken...or are they?

Tag list under the cut, let me know if you'd like to be added! Please reblog <3

@dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you

[iamloveandlightsworld]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY ANGEL HUMAN✨️💛🌙

Dear Jimin,

There’s something about you that transcends the ordinary. Your eyes, soft yet piercing, hold the weight of unspoken stories, and when you smile, it’s as if the world pauses, basking in the warmth of your presence. Your singing, a delicate balance between power and tenderness, carries emotions that seep into my soul, while your dancing is an extension of your ethereal grace, each movement purposeful and breathtaking.

On stage, you become more than just a performer; you transform into an embodiment of light, your aura commanding attention with an otherworldly charm. Your emotional intelligence radiates in every interaction, the warmth in your words and the care you show making you both a fairy with a touch of magic and an angel sent to heal the world. It’s in these moments of softness, where the blend of your divine masculine and feminine creates harmony, that you stand out—a figure who embodies balance with every step.

But there’s more to why you’re so special to me. I found you in 2020, a time when the darkness in my life was suffocating. I was lost, broken, and unsure if I could make it through another day. Then, I saw you—your smile, your presence—and something shifted. It felt like the universe placed you in my life at the exact moment I needed saving. You were the light that cut through my deepest shadows, and for the first time in a long while, I believed that maybe, just maybe, everything could be alright.

I imprinted on you in a way I still can’t fully understand. I don’t know if you’ll ever truly grasp the depth of it, but connecting to you, even from afar, made me feel less alone. There’s something about the way you carry yourself, the way you express vulnerability and strength, that made me feel like I could do the same. You saved my life, and I’m forever grateful for that. In a weird, almost cosmic way, I feel like you were meant to guide me out of my own darkness.

Even now, when life feels uncertain, the thought of you calms my heart. You remind me that there’s beauty and grace even in the hardest moments, and that somehow, everything will be okay. I know we’ve never met, but your existence has brought so much meaning to mine. You’ve become a part of my journey, a reminder that there is light, even in the darkest of places.

Through it all, you’re goofy and cute, with a playful spirit that endears you to so many. You have a way of switching effortlessly from this adorable chaos to a presence that’s hot, commanding, and magnetic—a true tailor of chaos, bending reality with your charm and allure.

Through it all, your grace remains untouchable, and though your essence feels like it belongs to a realm beyond this one, there is something deeply divine about you. Your ethereal nature blends effortlessly with your divine aura, making you a living paradox—both an angel of light and a being of mesmerizing intensity.

You are my angel, Jimin. Thank you for saving me.I love you so much and I miss you and I hope you're sleeping well and eating well and that you're healthy and happy despite the circumstances and I hope your new friends are good to you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PARK JIMIN,MY MOST FAVOURITE CREATION OF GOD 💛💛💛

With all my love,

Your biggest fan

[sugaredrhubarb]

In honour of her second book, Lancelot in November, coming out later this month, I want to talk about one of my favourite books of the last year and one of my favourite romances ever.

King of Cups 

By @woodswit / @phoebe-woods

available here

Hockey, love, tarot, mystery—this book is so up my alley that I was almost scared to read it. After putting it off for most of the fall, I finally dove in this winter while in the middle of a depressive slump. When I say this book made me laugh and cry, it feels almost diminishing—it made me feel, and anyone who experiences similar slumps of numbness knows what a feat that can be.

King of Cups follows Eloise, a mess of a private investigator, as she gets drawn into the world of the Boston Bruins and the world of Jacques Lavesque, a hockey star and a man finally cracking under the weight of perfection. If you don’t want to read me wax on about this book for ages, give it a look.  If you'll stick around, let me tell you why I love it.

Eloise & Jacques

“She was never comfortable at all – not in her own skin and not in anyone else’s. After all, underneath it all, there she was – a trespasser no matter where she went, an interloper who had never learned to root in any soil, a witch forever in exile.”

Oh, how I was so seen by Eloise. She is a little lost and a little lonely. She is awkward, and sometimes she’s accidentally cruel, but she is good, and she is learning. Sometimes, a character changes in a book simply because the author says so; that is not the case here. Eloise grows and evolves, and we get to see every step forward and backward and every bump along the way.

“Was this what it was like to be in Jaques’s head — to see the vulnerability in everyone, even when they were challenging, and have your heart broken for it?”

I have never related so much to a male character, even in all his big athletic manliness. Jacques is tired. He has given so much of himself to his team, to his family, to everyone but himself. He has so much love and so much anger, and they twist, grow, and burn bright within each other. The story of Jaques is just as compelling as the story of Eloise, and they amplify each other in every way. 

“He was in love with the world and at times in love with every single person in it.”

Hockey 

“She was thinking of church again as she heard the announcer yell, “...BOSTON BRUINS!”  Or maybe not church — maybe something older, something rooted in pagan ritual and wolf-gods and dented armour.”

So yes, this is a hockey story, but you don’t need to be a hockey fan to enjoy it. For those of us who are, however, and have been burnt by hockey books before, this is what we’ve been looking for. The author is a hockey fan, and it shows in how she examines the fanaticism of sports culture, the paradox between the inherent violence of hockey with the perfect family man image it demands, and the bigotry endemic to the whole thing. None of it feels forced; all of it feels real, and you can tell it’s done by someone who both loves the sport and sees its flaws.

Everybody else

“[...] at the end of the day all that matters to me is how I loved other people.”

Every character in this book is a whole person. No side character is there just to serve a purpose, even only for a scene. From the other players on the team to Eloise’s family to the big “villains” and the side conflict starters, every single one has wants and needs and flaws, and I fell a little in love with them all. You will relate to them, you will feel for them, you will love them too.

Love

“Love was the Wheel of Fortune, cyclical and never static.”

The word love has already appeared 11 times in this post (12 now) and is circled frequently in my copy of the book. This is a romance (as I usually talk about very smutty things, I would be remiss not to mention that this is not that), and the love built between our main characters is so strong, even when it is scared or angry. Eloise and Jacques are magnetic to each other and the reader, and every moment they are in each other’s vicinity feels charged and electric. But romantic love is not what makes this book special. Love is woven through every aspect of the story, and it is the familial love, the platonic love, that shines brightest. Love is hard; sometimes love ends, sometimes it refuses to, and sometimes it is new and barges its way in when you least expect or want it. This book depicts it all beautifully.

I don’t even know how to fit in here just how well it’s written. The world is detailed and real. The characters are relatable and full. The mystery is gripping and engrossing. I could talk about the dialogue for ages. It is so incredibly human, funny and aching and awkward and revealing. 

If you read this book, you will want to treat the world as kindly, empathetically, and lovingly as the author treats her story. 

The author is a mutual of mine on here so I do want to say thank you to her for giving the world such a special piece of work, I’m so looking forward to reading the next addition.

And thank you anna ( @winterrose527 ) for putting it in my path in the first place.

[t0ast-ghost]

S2 Episode 8 (I, Mudd) Garfield guess who’s here? Please tell me it’s not Mudd. It’s Mudd.

Commence:

- Why are him and Spock just walking the halls together. If I was the crew I’d be going livid, like get this: there’s these two men who are head of the science and medical staff on the ship and they fucking hate each other, they fight all over the ship constantly and you’ve seen them at odds a gazillion times. One day you’re walking the halls to get to your station and you just see them walking together, talking normally, and one of them is even smiling in a sort of fond way. My jaw would drop honestly

- They’re already fighting.. it took less than 30 seconds

- This guy’s on a mission! I wonder who he could be?

- “Mr. Spock we seem to be taking an unscheduled ride” “Interesting.” Spock does not give a fuck about your dramatics, Kirk

- Spock looks at the guy who stops Kirk and just thinks “fuck, McCoy was right.”

- LMAO the electronics in him look like smt from doctor who

- I love Uhura and Chekov almost bumping into the android

- oh god this guy again (Mudd)

- “Jamie boy.” That- that barely even makes sense

- Kirk what is that stance

- “And you’re all going to be here, uh, quite probably for the rest of your lives. *evil laugh*”Spock and McCoy are unconcerned

- Okay I think McCoy is just lording it over Spock that he was right

- Okay there’s a certain joviality that I appreciate to the back and forth of Mudd explaining and Kirk, McCoy, and Spock all interrupting

- this is the greatest line in all of Star Trek

- Kirk: Well, opinions?

Chekov: I think we’re in a lot of trouble

Kirk: That’s a great help, Mr. Chekov. Bones?

McCoy: Well, I think Mr. Chekov’s right. We are in a lot of trouble

Kirk: Spock? And if you say we’re in a lot of trouble…

Spock: We are.

Kirk then gets the most defeated look on his face

- Scotty coming in hot and cursing out Mudd

- CHEKOV DONT FUCK THE ANDROIDS

- Kirk is like an angry small dog

- “No, lord Mudd.” “Wuuut??” Good line delivery

- “How do you know so much?” “I asked them.” “Oh.” Wait wait wait, this is simple deduction. Deduction? Sherlock. Holmes and Watso? MCCOY AND SPOCK AS HOLMES AND WATSON!!! Oh wait Data and Geordi did that..

- “Now listen, Spock, you may be a wonderful science officer, but believe me you couldn’t sell fake patents to your mother!” “I fail to understand why I should care to induce my mother to purchase falsified patents.” I love this man

- The name is doctor practice. Mal practice.

- uhura no! WAIT UHURA YES IM SO PROUD. I love how happy they all are

- hi hello what the fuck is happening. What are they celebrating. How did Kirk convince McCoy and Scotty to do that?

- The androids flirting with Spock. Kirk and the rest have to dance whereas Spock is just causing drama “I love you. But I hate you.” “But we’re identical.” *blows up*

- They’re gonna paradox Norman

- WJAT

- Them imitating phasers takes the cake. I think if I ever show anyone an example episode it would be this one

- “he’s dead.” Damn no Jim. Second time Scotty’s ‘died’ this season

- This is like watching Shakespeare

- I would not be surprised if this episode was inspired by children playing make believe (honestly really genius and fun writing)

- Oooh they’re paradoxing him

- “I aM nOt prOgrAmMeD to reSpoNd in thAt aRea.” The fucking sass. Kirk has been spending too much time with Spock and Bones

- “Which I find eminently satisfactory, Doctor, for nowhere, am I so desperately needed as among a shipload of illogical humans.” Basically Spock loves them and there’s nowhere he’d rather be

- Kirk hates Mudd so much, it’s almost bitchy at this point

- Uhura’s wave to Mudd is so iconic and amazing

Okay one of my favourite episodes, if not my favourite actually. I loved more of the bridge crew interaction (no sulu☹️) especially getting to see Uhura, like I wanna talk more about her character but there’s so little that I’m just trying to pick up the crumbs.

Masterpost

Episode written by Stephen Kandel

[blazethecheeto]

ATLAS PARADOX RAMBLING

dude this book. i need to talk. about it. im going insane.

everyone who hasn't read it, PLEASE DO!!! it's a dark academia book about a bunch of gay silly magic people that join a society and try to kill each other. there's time travel, a big ass polycule, aesthetic scenes, the prettiest writing style in the world, science, philosophy, and fucked family. (opposite of found family).

(extremely chaotic unorganized long rant below, with spoilers. click at your own risk)

FIRST OF ALL WHY WAS THIS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE FIRST ONE?!!?!?

i had to power through the first one, it felt long, and unnecessary and like trekking through a JUNGLE with the thickest and most intricate ecosystem that i had to peel back and unravel for hours and hours. only to like move the plot by an inch.

BUT THIS. olivie blake found her footing because this was so good. i am aware the reviews hate on this book and some people don't like it, but personally i adore it and it's really well written.

CHARACTERS

bro they all had such wonderful voices, like they were distinct and unique from each other but not drastically, noticeably different I NEED TO LEARN FROM THIS. six of crows and the atlas six do multi povs so well <3 its like this book was made for me, each character was perfect and incredible and gay and silly and-

reina. love of my life. i look forward to all her povs because the plants are so silly and she's the best character. i said it. she's canon asexual now too YEES. i needed more of her because she was barely in the first one, and they DELIVERED. the juicy plot with her 'god complex' (ily callum) and her feelings getting hurt and learning she actually is lonely and wants friends? she's so wanda maximoff. next book better have her opening up and learning to love people or i riot (and also her killing people and being the badass she is)

parisa always my fave too, i do wish her character wasn't always talking about sex or romance, there were some great moments in this book where she showed off her telepathy powers (the prince in the tower!!) it was awesome. i'm glad they acknowledged that side of her with reina, (oh my god i ship them so much wait till i rant about them-) but dude i still HATE DALTON. SO MUCH. OH MY GOD. every time it's her pov i dread seeing dalton, i wish she could give that up. generic white men should die.

CALLUM. whatever turned him from complex, daunting, and a psychopath last book to janus from sanders sides this book- beautiful choice. he's literally the one sassy wine-sipping gay aunt that feels nothing and everything at once, also extremely mentally ill and depressed. he's SO FUNNY. his povs are fucking hilarious to read, and he quickly became one of my faves bc of how complex he is. i'm not smart enough to decipher and psychoanalyze him but god i LOVE CHARACTERS LIKE THIS.

i don't know what happened but nico is literally one of my faves now too, he's so silly and sweet and kind and i loved his relationships with everyone this book. like him trying to murder tristan in multiple different ways oml. he's my bbg. tristan was hit or miss for me, i did find him interesting but he's not my favourite. doesn't mean i hate him, he's so very british, i feel it radiating off the page. libby my queen my icon, her dream povs were so trippy i loved it- so so realistic to a real dream, that was the most surprising and unique part. also my bisexual queen seducing belen??

i did not like ezra and atlas was a little iffy here and there but tbh the cast was so well rounded and interesting and unique but paralleled each other so well?? THE RELATIONSHIPS. I DONT THINK ANY BOOK HAS THIS INTRICATE WEB-LIKE RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER. they're one big polycule.

RELATIONSHIPS

nico and libby <3 i love them so much as siblings/queerplatonic partners. i don't ship them romantically, because i LOVE how they subverted the eye-rolling predictable ' YA academic rivals enemies to lovers' trope. when i started TAS, i immediately thought they were gonna get together and assumed the worst. but no, they still had the banter and importance in their relationship but without the romance? instead both of them were gay af. it's beautiful. i love subverting tropes so much. they're each other's 'other half' and they're hilarious together.

NICO AND TRISTAN. they were such a highlight this book, it was unexpected but so funny. nico trying to murder tristan and their little talks because 'they're not friends...just coworkers' yeah right, the best friendships start with creatively murdering each other. tristan being droll and chill af, and then nico bouncing off the walls my adhd king.

reina and nico broke me?? like that one chapter where they sparred and caught up with each other and reina was guarding her hurt feelings. DUDE THAT KILLED ME. made me stare at the ceiling for a good minute. their friendship is everything to me, they contrast each other so well. she deserves to be treated better- when they had that projection chapter and she saw that nico downplayed her skills...like she was good, but not good enough for him to care about her. AGGHGH.

REINA AND PARISA. NOW THIS. THIS HOOKED ME INTO THE BOOK. i ship them so bad guys. they parallel each other and are both hot and enemies to lovers and wlw slow burn and- look. reina is asexual, therefore the only person to truly see and understand parisa for who she is, and not be influenced by her body. like that one projection. she can help parisa understand HERSELF and who she is past her sexual desirability. how to love someone again. romantically. then, on the flip side, parisa can help reina see and understand OTHERS. reina only sees people as one trait, cut and dry- without any of the complex feelings. parisa is a telepath, she knows how to read others. THEY CAN BOTH HELP EACH OTHER AND LOVE EACH OTHER IN WAYS THEY NEVER COULD HAVE OMFDADJFLSKJADFL- also reina pinned her against a wall and they want to kill each other and every time they interact i scream into my pillow-

-

'You can't love anyone right?"

"I've met very few people worth loving."

-

*throws myself off a building*

now we just gotta play the familiar game "IS IT DELUSION OR IS IT JUST SLOW BURN" and find out whether their insane chemistry pays off in book 3.

the nico parisa scene was actually sweet ngl, even though i don't ship them. the whole callum and tristan thing was so bitter exes situationship coded and i ate every second up. especially that last conversation. AND OFC. GIDEON AND NICO?!!! AAAAA THEY WERE SO CUTE THEY'RE ENDGAME I SCREAMED WHEN THEY KISSED DUDE THEYRE SO-

PLOT

now for the actual plot. this book has so many interesting subjects and philosophies and debates i'm not smart enough for this. but past all the aesthetic glamour, it's science, time travel, dreams, multiverses, fate, reality, and the complexities of the human mind. and my god it's fascinating as fuck.

do i have any idea what they do in this society?? NO. am i entertained? YES. especially that whole explosion paradox to bring libby back to the future. the whole powering the connections via aurora borealis? the whole debate about being gods? i love it. i love it.

alright im so sorry for that rant, i gotta go now but DUDE I LOVE THIS BOOK NO MATTER HOW WEIRD IT WAS

[literally-just-there]

Hi Gate! ♡ I have. A question. What's Seeker and your f/os' favorite classic paintings? Or statues etc! 👀🎨🖼

OOOOOHOOHOHOHO KUROH YOU ASKED FOR THIS *cracks knuckles*

(Putting this under a cut... Not doing just classic... No I did not do every f/o or I would still be here in a week. I just did paintings because that's what I'm more knowledgeable about)

🖌 • For Seeker :

She looks a lot at the eyes and facial expressions, and loves a good romantic scene like the pre-raphaelites do. We got "La Belle Dame Sans Merci" by Frank Dicksee, and "The Shadow" by Edmund Blair Leighton for example.

Strangely enough, she is also captivated by paintings that can be considered haunting, I'm thinking of John Martin's works that depict biblical, historical and other legendary apocalypses. She does not enjoy them per say, but she is captivated, especially since she is not religious but is herself a legendary being. I'm thinking of "The Destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah" and the triptych of "The Last Judgement".

She also likes "Christ in the House of His Parents" by Millais because it humanizes what is usually seen as only divine and otherworldly, and she relates to this paradox of being some kind of human god (I suggest reading the critics on the painting at the time).

🖌 • For the Informant :

Keywords are emotion and interactions. He loves when the painting displays interactions and especially love, whatever the kind. I have quite miscellaneous painting ideas for him ;

Leonardo Da Vinci's "The Virgin and Child with Saint Anne", Karl Gussow's "Old Man's Treasure", but also the more tragic "Tristan and Isolde" paintings by Rogelio de Egusquiza, "Romeo and Juliet" by Millais, or "The Meeting on the Turret Stairs" by Frederic William Burton.

🖌 • For Helen :

She loves paintings with soft vibes and that depict nature. I'm thinking of Rosa Bonheur as I type this. I love the cows she paints. Also pretty paintings like those of Sophie Gengembre Anderson, "The Turtle Dove", "It's Touch and Go to Laugh or No", "Little Helper", "Her Favourite Pets" or "A Fairy Is Made Of Most Beautiful Things" which is one of my favourites too.

🖌 • For Smallcat :

He does look like someone who would like grandiose official portraits. However he is more of a landscape type of guy. He paints some himself actually !! For me Monet is the absolute best, I'm of course thinking about his Nymphéas. And Pissarro !! Pissarro's landscapes !! Can we talk about "Le Grand noyer dans le pré, Éragny" ??!! Pretty !?!?!

🖌 • For Delacroix :

That arse head on the other hand LOVES a good lavish official portrait. It does make sense because he is a noble but also : the more gold, more jewels, more expensive fabric, more symbols of power displayed, the more he is eating this up like his eye dinner. I am thinking of Louis XIV by Hyacinthe Rigaud or Napoléon Ist by François Gérard, the good old coronation portraits.

🖌 • For Anna :

Most of all she wants to have something to say about the art piece. It has to make her THINK. So she prefers paintings that have intense facial expressions, and / or that tell a story that makes you THINK. I'm thinking of paintings about societal struggles, like "Burning the Brushwood" by Eero Järnefelt, or paintings that are sticking their chin at institutions, like Frank Cadogan Cowper's "Lucretia Borgia Reigns in the Vatican in the Absence of Pope Alexander VI" including more tragic ones like "The Martyr of Solway" by Millais.

But she is also a romantic at heart and appreciates paintings that display romantic interactions. There are the ones I mentioned for Seeker but I would add "God Speed" by Edmund Blair Leighton.

🖌 • For Wei :

MARINES. Anything that has to do with the sea. One name, Monet, again, yes, BUT !! The paintings he did when he was in Belle-Ile-en-mer !! The Port Coton ones !! He did so many !! And Turner !! Depicting the immensity of the sea !!

He would also love Chinese paintings, since this is what he grew up with. I am sadly not knowledgeable about this yet so I can't really go into details.

🖌 • For Hoggarth :

History is the key word, he prefers paintings that interpret historical events, that imagine the people's emotions at the time, especially when it is grave events. I'm thinking of "The Last Day of Pompeii" by Karl Bryullov or "Faithful Unto Death" by Edward John Poynter. Also "The Execution of Lady Jane Grey" by Paul Delaroche or "A Huguenot" by Millais.

Also, paintings that represent people feeling small before the higher powers they believe in, like "The Two Crowns" by Dicksee, or being powerless before them, like "The Ballad of Lenore" by Horace Vernet.

[erenfox]

Y'all.

Episode 4.

It's the best piece of work Marvel has made after they made IW and Endgame.

spoiler alert 🚨

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lemme start off with our favourite Miss Jolly Rancher Unhinged Clock and Victorian-Era HWR Fangirl. I KNEW Ravonna had somehow helped HWR in building the TVA, but him erasing her memories was straight up evil.

Then we come to the absolutely gruesome deaths of Dox and the others. HOLY SHIT MISS JOLLY RANCHER IS AWFUL like she was enjoying every second of Dox and her hunters literally getting crushed to their deaths. B-15 was traumatised, to say the least and you can see on Ravonna and Brad's faces a hint of disgust. But Miss Minutes grinning like that - outright disturbing.

I can't get over OB and Victor fanboying over each other's work - it was so funny yet wholesome.

Now let's talk about Loki and Sylvie. As a diehard Sylki stan you know I am, my fangirling heart was overjoyed seeing these two lovesick ducks working together willingly! I mean, yea, they did have that rather awkward talk in Pie Land (mind you that's it's official name henceforth) but after that they worked together as teammates! Now I must say, I completely agree with Sylvie on snapping on Mobius, because, well, yeah, the multiverse is a bigger priority than pie and I legit don't get why tf antis hate on Sylvie for doing so. Like you hated her for not giving a damn abt the TVA + the multiverse, but now when she stood up to do so y'all are hating on her again?? Like?? Make up ur mind, smh.

Anyways, back to Sylki. Sylvie got stuck in the elevator and the way she and Loki worriedly called out each other's names was so soft! And the "You ok?" trope CAME BACK OMG! THAT PHRASE IS LITERALLY THE BACKBONE OF SYLKI! When I tell you my fangirling heart screamed with joy omg-

The the whole paradox scene which brought Ep 1 back in a circle. I absolutely loved the way our Loki realised what he had to do and went real slow to prune his past self just so that Past Loki could get a glimpse of Sylvie; which would then lead him to be more determined than ever to go look for her. And I quite literally died on Sylvie being confused af as to wtf she just witnessed.

Then there's the telephone scene. OH MY GOD it was literally OB all this time when fans were out here speculating it was Kang or someone lmao. Both Loki and Sylvie yelling simultaneously to turn the security thing off gives out so much Couple Vibes, I absolutely loved it AAHHAHAH-

AND. THE. BRAD. SCENE. OOF.

our friendly neighbourhood lovesick ducks teaming up to enchant Brad was just too good. Loki in his hot, creepy voice luring Brad into a dark area while Sylvie very swiftly just straight up grabbing his face from the back - pure horror. Absolutely loved it, 10/10. Tho I must say, to do execute elaborate scheme, these two must have done some detailed planning (=more Sylki moments we were robbed off).

BUT THAT ENDING DUCKING MURDERED ME BROO OMG

Can we talk abt Victor's redemption? Man had been portrayed as evil since Quantumania, and has been manipulated by both Ravonna and Miss Jolly Rancher, but at the end of the day, he was a sweetheart. Man fanboys OB and basically became besties with him and Casey, worked together to create the solution to a mess he most certainly didn't want to be a part of, and then himself stepped up to fix the Loom once and for all to prove to everyone (and not let Sylvie's choice of sparing him go to waste) that tho he contained HWR's DNA, he wasn't HWR - he was a far better person HWR could have ever been. Seeing him getting spaghettified was tragically heart-wrenching, man deserved so much better :(

BUT HOLY SHIT DID THAT ONE HECK OF A GODDAMN CLIFFHANGER LEFT ME SPEECHLESS LIKE WTF WAS THAT?? U can't just kill off a character who had redeemed himself, and then make our main character and his homies watch literally EVERYTHING THEY WORKED SO HARD FOR GET ANNIHILATED TO THE GROUND-

But we know our God of Mischief isn't dead, and so are his homies eheheh.

However the looks on everyone's face was tragic. Loki knew all was lost and had tears in his eyes. Sylvie looked like she had accepted defeat and her death. Mobius and OB were in denial, refusing to believe that Victor was dead. Casey and B-15 looked horrified, as they realised what was to come now upon them.

Tldr, this episode was an ABSOLUTE BANGER. IM READY TO CLAIM IT SUPERIOR THAN ENDGAME, come and fight me. Its a top cinematic piece, and the suspense to Ep 5 is eating me up.

Ig i should go and study for the 4 tests this week before ep 5 ;-;

[orange-enjoyer]

32 days until restoration (holds out my tiny microphone) thoughts?

Scared <3

They have Burnie back so I'm hoping that they'll get the characterisation right and the gang won't act wildly different (looking at you zero tucker and wash) but the whole concept just. Doesn't sit right with me?

They ended the show three times already, in seasons 10, 13 and 17. S10 has a nice ending, I think they could have easily wrapped it up there and left it (freelancer saga my beloved <3) but I'll admit the s13 ending is Amazing and leaves the show on a really bittersweet but high note. It has made me cry every time I've watched it and it's just a really good send off.

Then the blues and reds were a fun little side story but I feel like it kinda shits on the s13 ending (hell, the whole plot is baiting everyone with church being alive). They gave the characters a proper send off with s13 but then had a fun idea for a side story, and it's a pretty solid story with some of my favourite moments in the show so fine, a fun little adventure after the events of the main story.

Then the shizno paradox happened and. I like Huggins! I think donut finally got his well deserved arc and (speaking from the perspective of someone who does not have brain damage or memory issues or anything even close to what happened to wash so take my opinion with a heap of salt) I think they handled wash's brain injury with a surprising amount of care and respect for the haha goofy web series. Also caboose and Carolina in the shizno trilogy? I love them so so much caboose I would kill for you.

But it does feel like a punch in the face of season 13's ending. Especially with how ridiculous it gets at points (putting aside the "god"-killing golf-club they did tucker and sister SO dirty)

From what I can tell, most fans seem to agree that s13 was the proper ending for rvb, so I can understand why Burnie would want to go back to that and try to recreate that, and send the show off with a bang, but at a certain point it's just beating a dead horse? Plus they've already shown that they don't particularly care about respecting the show's roots and one of the reasons it got so popular like not rehiring Trocadero :((

I'm also worried that it may have been made in an attempt to start up the series again which means that we might have some random plot threads that either lead nowhere or get resolved Super quickly because rt got shutdown partway through production :(

Then again, I really hope I'll be proven wrong! I hope they give the cast a proper send-off and end rvb on a high note! I'm just very cautiously optimistic because I'll be honest shizno paradox and zero (and RT just being a horrible company in general and treating their employees like shit) left a rather sour taste in my mouth.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed but I'm not holding my breath ya know?

[distort1xn]

so, when i was still a little distort1xn and at uni, my favourite subject ever was philosophy. it’s why i’m SUCH a proponent for logical thinking and reasoning. now, one of the electives in this class was philosophy of religion, i.e. proving the existence of god (the judaeo-christian iteration of god). the lecturer for this elective was pretty old and not very engaging and loved getting into heated debates that he started himself with students who knew less than him and therefore weren’t his intellectual equals. he’s not the point of this post, but i mention him because he would never give us clear instructions for his assignments and so we often had to do tons of work for very simple essays that could’ve just been written based on our coursework, had he been a better lecturer.

the point is, one day we got an assignment that led me into the depths of our campus library (aside: the library is MASSIVE, multi-levelled – and completely underground; the dark academia bitches go crazy) to do some reading. during this reading, i came across a very interesting paradox that i’ve been thinking about ever since, but i couldn’t remember who posited it, and so haven’t been able to look it back up. now, in one of the episodes of this true story podcast i’m listening to (we’re all insane with devorah), the storyteller talks about leaving the church, and what had convinced her to do that was the epicurean paradox – the very paradox that’s been haunting me for years! adding a screenshot of the gist of the paradox, but don’t worry. i won’t make anyone learn ‘philosophy speak’ (fancy fucking english for zero (0) reason whatsoever). i’ll ‘translate’.

simplification:

if god has unlimited power (omnipotence – ‘all-powerful’), then he must know about all the evil and suffering in the world (omniscience – ‘all-knowing’). being all-powerful must then mean he has the power to change/stop all the evil and suffering. so, why doesn’t he? since he doesn’t, he can’t be as good as christianity paints him to be (omnibenevolent – ‘all-good/-loving’; one of the main positions in christianity is ‘god is love’ to mean god loves his entire creation and he is a universally accepted force of pure goodness and love). conclusion: god cannot be omnibenevolent.

if god is omnipotent and omnibenevolent, then he has the power and goodness to stop and desire to stop all evil and suffering. if he doesn’t, then he doesn’t see all the evil (i.e. he’s not omniscient, which makes him somewhat evil himself if he can find justifications for why certain clearly painful and awful acts don’t ‘count’ as evil and therefore aren’t meant to be stopped).

if god is omniscient and omnibenevolent, he knows about all the evil and suffering in the world and wants to stop it, but since evil still exists, he obviously can’t stop it, so he can’t be omnipotent.

this breaks down literally the entire doctrine of christian belief. christians believe in an all-powerful, all-seeing, all-loving god. but since that god cannot logically exist, christians literally believe in a fantasy.

all of this to say, i don’t reject religion and christianity out of hand. i see it in a psychological sense. we all have our comfort things, our crutches – beliefs and rituals that make us feel safe. i see religion as one of these. which means people murdering, massacring and damning others in its name are not good people, and not just because all of those actions themselves are reprehensible, but because religion isn’t a personal comfort to them. it’s a weapon – and, i feel we can all agree, weapons should only ever be used in DEfence, not OFfence.

this has been philosophy hour with distort1xn. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[aria0fgold]

FELLOW CAIOWE ENTHUSIAST HELLO

God, finding any mhyk fans on tumblr is so rare. I can never go to twitter though, because twitter won't allow me to write a whole textblock about my wizards yknow.

Anyways, what are your favorite caiowe moments (0u0)

OHMYGOD! FELLOW CAIOWE FAN IN TUMBLR?! :O Fr though, we mhyk fans here are so rare and twitter posts function cannot contain the multitude of thoughts I have.

I have A LOOOT of favourite caiowe moments, caiowe fuels my brain.

Most and biggest favourite caiowe moment: Chapter 17 and 18 of ms1.5 aka anni1. It's sooooo good to me, the establishment of the pairing, the horror and realization of Owen that Cain was Dying and he didn't even wanted that in that moment. Owen calling Cain's name for the first time and not "Sir Knight"? Owen KNEELING DOWN beside him and PRAYING?!?! Love it, I love that moment so much. Of course, I cannot forget about Cain, in his dying moments during then, ASSURED Owen that it wasn't his fault. Like ohgod... You're dying my guy and you're assuring the one that attacked you?! Oh. OH! You are sooo insane for that. And with that moment, of course I gotta hold the moment during Chapter 26 near and dear to my heart too. Cain, recovering from a near death experience meeting Owen and without missing a beat, invites him out to lunch. OUOUUUOGHHGG I looove ms1.5 for that.

Everything that Paradox Roid had going for itself. That AU is caiowe collection worthy, every moment that those two were together makes me soooo giddy and happy and it's so insane for that. My favourite AU of all time, especially the moments during Chapter 5 with Cain, Akira, and Owen flying by the ice cream truck, Cain with that sweet lil speech and Owen saying "Hello, world" ououuoghhghg my heart during then... Of course what solidified this AU for being my favourite of all is Cain going through INSANE LENGTHS to get Owen back JUST to fulfill his promise to him of buying him the icecream, AND the moment when Owen's memory was all but practically wiped BUT! he still remembers... Cain's words... HE STILL REMEMBERS! Like oooohhhh my god. That's insane. To still remember Nearly the exact words a guy you've only met recently despite your memory being deleted? Insanity. I love it.

EVERYTHING! From the event: Sun-Radiant Blade. That's my favourite event of all time from the canon universe, it has sooo many caiowe moments it was amazing. Owen attending the knight event and everyone being on high guard but Cain reassures them? OWEN GETTING BLAMED FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN'T DO AND CAIN DEFENDING HIM?!?!! Owen being the only one to believe in Cain that he CAN win against the young knight being controlled by a sword and that Oz doesn't need to kill the poor kid, that NO ONE gets to kill the poor kid and only Cain can do that. Owen grabbing Cain's face especially and going "my magic wielding Sir Knight" OH YOU ARE UNBEARABLE OWEN.

Not really part of the game, but the animage magazine article of em makes me just as insane. It's THE CAIOWE magazine of all time, I'll forever be Normal (lying) about Cain's quote: "Come battle, I would become your shield, and I would die for you." LIKE!!! MY GUUUUYYY?!?!!?!!? Most normal thing to say towards anyone at all. I hate him (affectionately).

The event: Prelude to the Festival and Justice has a singular caiowe moment in the form of Owen's eyeball protecting Cain and I'm sooooooo not over that moment yet actually. Owen wasn't even THERE, but Owen protected Cain via the eyeball he forcefully swapped between em like gooooooodddd.

ANNI 2 MOMENT! CAIOWE ANNI 2! That moment with Cain and Owen lowkey arguing with one another lives in my head rent free and then by the ending parts with Owen flying off all alone and CAIN LOOKING UP AT HIM and going "I have to get stronger" just to be able to justify him worrying for him like oh! OH MYGOD!

That one moment during the event: Awakening the Legendary Chalk Castle where Cain SENSED Owen nearby and proceeded to DESTROY THE FLOOR to obtain a shortcut to get to where he was sensing Owen at, very Normal behaviour there Cain. I love him.

Everything bout that one tl with like a stageplay? a stage reading I think? I can't remember but that tl of some parts (mostly caiowe, oh i love it so much) of it and and Owen getting Cain drunk via magic and Cain was boutta START STRIPPING and Snow panicked and immediately got rid of the spell and Owen going "But it was just getting to the good part" LIKE!?!?!?!!? Thinking bout that moment again makes me lose it sooo badly like my guy wdym. WDYM OWEN OHMYGOD OWEN

The newest Alterego AU event is also taking up so much of my brain rn, mafia au, Cain with the northies/former northies, OWEN'S OTHER EYE CHANGING COLOUR TO BE GOLD CUZ OF CAIN, like ya can't just make that up, my guy Owen saw the prettiest gold during his dying moments and the world said "You'll get to have that too" and now he has heterochromia as well, and never mind the fact that Owen gained his during this event, but Cain was BORN WITH IT, he was born with a heterochromia that was forcefully put on him during canon universe, he was born with the Owen red eye in this universe and the implications of that is kinda insane actually (<-most likely reading too into the au with my caiowe glasses). Cuz like! Imagine this, you in your past life had two golden eyes but Some Guy, forcefully swapped eyes with you and then in another life, your born with heterochromia as a result of Some Guy from a previous life and now your born with it, like a mark. Of a wedding-- It's the caiowe version of the red string of fate, I'm convinced with that.

[roseposts-stuff]

hello folks!!! it is time for doctor who series 9 rankings!!!

1. Heaven Sent (9x11) - peak. fucking. doctor who. one of my (and many other's) favourite episodes of ALL TIME and for a REASON!!!! it's so clever and well written and well acted and it's visually GORGEOUS like!!! peter capaldi is so good and i firmly believe he's the only actor who could've pulled this off, basically a 50 minute monologue come on man!!! i wish i could watch it for the first time again it's brilliant

2. Face the Raven (9x10) - SO GOOD!!! i love rigsy and i'm so glad he came back haha. clara's death is actually so heartbreaking and SJSJSJ the conversation between her and the doctor omg THE WAY SHE USES HER LAST MOMENTS TO MAKE SURE HE WON'T SEEK REVENGE OR ANYTHING OMG i love that!!! and it's also like visually so so so beautiful like visuals are a big part of how much i enjoy an episode as you might have noticed if you've seen my rankings before, like honestly i don't care too much about if the cgi is good or not etc. but them colours and lights and stuff need to be right!!!!!

3. Under the Lake/Before the Flood (9x3/9x4) - this is, again, SO good, i LOVE timey wimeyness doctor who should do WAY MORE timey wimeyness like you're a time travel show, USE IT!!!! i like the side characters and the beginning of before the flood with 12 explaining bootstrap paradox to the audience is so great and THE FADE FROM 12'S GUITAR TO THE THEME!!! it makes me so happy

4. Hell Bent (9x12) - is it a perfect episode? no. but i think it gets SO MUCH undeserved hate. i love love love clara in this, and the scene where her or the doctor have to forget everything is so good imo. i'm really interested in gallifrey and i haven't seen much of classic who yet so i take every scene in new who very gratefully and with great interest. i THINK people criticise the episode for having 12 suddenly be so ready to kill and stuff, and in any other episode i'd agree, but after heaven sent and the way his and clara's relationship is so codependent and toxic, it makes complete sense in my opinion. i loved when the doctor and me met at the end of the universe it was interesting imo, and i LOVEEEE that clara and me's TARDIS is the same one 11, river and the ponds were in series 6!!! and i like the way first you think clara has forgotten stuff but then you find out it's 12 who did (idk if it was obvious to everyone else but me, you can fool me so so so easily it's not even funny i believe almost anything the plot wants me to believe. which probably greatly affects the fact that i can enjoy doctor who so easily.) yeah i really really enjoy this episode

5. Last Christmas (9x0) - honestly why don't people talk about this episode more?? like it's SO interesting and just a bit scary, i love love love the idea of dreams inside dreams, like i don't really have complaints about this episode tbh it's really great and has a fascinating concept

6. The Husbands of River Song (9x0) - this is peak comedy i was laughing half of the duration of the episode probably, i love river obviously, and i liked her and 12 together. gotta love nardole as well lmao. i don't have much to say except SLAY socialist 12 and this is so funny like 80% of the run time, which is how a christmas special should be

7. The Girl Who Died (9x5) - i like this one!! 12 acting like he's a norse god and then the guy appearing in the sky and 12 tries to impress everyone with a yoyo was absolutely hilarious to me, that's peak humour in my mind. me was a bit annoying in this one can't lie like this is my least favourite me appearance, because HOW was she so stupid like girl i know those random guys you live with would've started fighting without a second thought but you're so much cleverer than them come on, but whatever, i forgive her i did care about her in the end. i loved the 12th doctor realising why he chose the face like YASSS GIRL!!!! and them making the video was so funny and random i ADORE 12 and clara in this, and i love the theme of immortality it's very interesting and i love when it's explored in doctor who

8. The Zygon Invasion/The Zygon Inversion (9x7/9x8) - i think it's. good. i love clara controlling the zygon it was sooo interesting and the sort of space she's in felt so weird and interesting i loved it, and obviously the doctor's speech is fantastic and peter capaldi delivers it perfectly. however, i do think it's not that well paced or something, like sometimes it feels really slow and sometimes everything is happening at once, and basically reasons to watch it would be 12's speech and jenna coleman. i did like osgood as well tho and obviously i'm the biggest kate lethbridge-stewart stan i take anything with her even if she's in it for 2 seconds

9. The Magician's Apprentice/The Witch's Familiar (9x1/9x2) - i LOVE the doctor and davros' interactions and missy and clara are brilliant together. i love missy. the opening is brilliantly funny, i adore 12 SO MUCH, i love that he plays his guitar god knows in what century and teached the people the word "dude" i LOVE that, and how he just appeared in his davros chair and had tea what an icon i'm his biggest fan, i don't care if it makes no sense i'm here for the entertainment and that's what i got. but like i mentioned in the last series ranking... steven moffat does NOT understand the daleks. i respect him a lot as a writer, but he can't for the life of him write the daleks. "Into the Dalek" i can excuse because it's fun enough and the radiation is probably affecting the creature's biology, but this episode acting like the cases or armour or whatever are the ones controlling how the daleks act is just bullshit, the daleks are a genetically engineered race full of hate, not just some random squid aliens inside propaganda cases for god's sake. funny how the daleks of this dalek episode are the worst thing in it

10. The Woman Who Lived (9x6) - i enjoy this episode, i don't think it's bad, but it's not good enough to deserve to be higher on this list. me is an interesting enough character and i like that she doesn't remember everything, it's really fascinating. i also like how she's pretty much morally grey, a bit like the doctor. yeah, it's enjoyable but nothing special imo, and sometimes i just. didn't get the plot, which i understand and can excuse because it focuses on me and the doctor but i dislike the plot and the lion alien

11. Sleep No More (9x9) - it is a bit boring isn't it? i don't actively hate it, and i really appreciate the way it's filmed, i think it's really cool. i LOVE that we're kinda the monsters there and that it's a sort of video, but it doesn't save it from the fact that it's utterly tedious

[schismusic]

THE DISCOGRAPHY PRINCIPLE, Episode 5: Fugazi, or: People in high places are in on the kill taker

This is the first and only episode of the series that has a subtitle actually originating within the discography of the band it's discussing. More precisely, this sentence is in the packaging to a 1993 album called In on the Kill Taker, originally meant to be an EP produced by Steve Albini, local hero (you may recall him from Episode 2 of this very same series). At one point the band simply couldn't seem to stop producing new material, and collectively decided the new songs needed a more "produced" sound. So they split ways with Steve Albini right before his big breakthrough producing Nirvana's In Utero. The reason why I picked a sentence within Fugazi's work instead of turning to the usual postmodern shortcircuiting techniques is that Fugazi exist outside of any other reasoning, exclusively and crucially on their own merits and terms. There is no other band like Fugazi.

Think about it: upon reviewing any post-hardcore influenced band, no self-respecting professional reviewer after 1998 will ever compare them to Fugazi directly, even when they'd be right in doing so. There are a number of euphemisms to soften that comparison: maybe At the Drive-In (whose best record by far also happens to be their most Fugazi-inspired, as well as one of my favourite records ever), perhaps Refused if we're feeling exotic and we forget how firmly their tongue is lodged in their cheek at all times. Nobody touches Fugazi unless it's about Fugazi, and even then it's basically a given — they are either the best band ever or somewhere up there. If you don't know Fugazi, that might sound a bit too heavy-handed, and perhaps even get you to feel some aversion to Fugazi, until you listen to the records and realize "oh God, they were right". Here is where I, personally, realized that was the case for me:

Fugazi's superiority, at first, seems to lie within their internal policies and politics, their choices to sell any of their work and tickets exclusively below a certain price and to specifically push for all-ages shows, their strict code of ethics concerning relationships with fans and recorded music producers: no merch, no branding, no nothing, the point was first and foremost to make punk music with an attitude for research and dynamism and a social/political edge that wasn't afraid to tackle any subject matter in any manner that was felt necessary, all the while remaining firmly against (against discrimination, against violence, against a number of mainstream ideal models of conduct and thought). All else was window dressing and as such to be avoided. The Steve Albini debacle, if we want to call it that, ended up with Steve Albini's respect for the band skyrocketing — their ability to make such a decision with a producer already in ever-growing demand (who was himself eager to work with them) meant they were for real, they cared for the music much more than they did the publicity, and plain and simple had thought about what they did hard enough to know how to serve the songs. But that's exactly the main point: there's plenty of bands who don't care about the publicity and there's plenty of bands who try to make socially engaged music and there's plenty of bands who don't do social media. But how many of these bands are Fugazi — that is, how many have a track record this good?

I keep thinking back to this one thing that Francesco Farabegoli once said about Waiting Room in this here piece (Italian only, but I'll translate the relevant part, don't worry). For reference, Waiting Room not only is the first song on Fugazi's first EP, it's also the first song Fugazi ever wrote according to internal chronicles of the band, so it's got to sound a little bit surprising to those of you not in the know when FF writes that the song "lives within this paradox by which despite it not being the best song ever recorded by Fugazi, it's still the best song ever recorded by anyone". Hard to believe until you hear it, then you'll know what I mean. If I had to pick a favourite Fugazi song, that'd probably be Instrument, which I conveniently linked up at the beginning, and which neatly lines up with the fact that In on the Kill Taker is the one Fugazi album I have personally spent the most time with. In case you're wondering, a couple other picks might be Caustic Acrostic and Cassavetes — another cool thing about Fugazi is that they love their cinema. This might be the place where I first heard the name of John Cassavetes, as a matter of fact. But Waiting Room? There's simply no way to beat that as a first impression, and I get the feeling they might have known.

But by far what drives me to Fugazi the most is the very clear sense of linear, constant progression you get listening to their music in the release order. There is a core concept ("like the Stooges with reggae", in the words of Ian MacKaye) and then there are innumerable applications of said concept: its most stripped-down variant — of course the most solid, because it's the most rehearsed and strongest rooted — gets progressively more articulate and confident; but it reaches a breaking point, which the critics usually correlate to Steady Diet of Nothing; the band is able to rebound by slowly exploding that form, making it somewhat more articulate and chiselled; from In on the Kill Taker onwards everything turns more dynamic, the arrangement finds a community of intent and expression that transcend the base form and culminate of course into a record that simply chooses to refuse all further articulation. Ironically enough, that record is titled The Argument, it came out in 2001 after three years in the works — a very long time, the longest in the band's history — and then the band were so forward-thinking as to pioneer yet another dearly-beloved of post-hardcore bands all around the world: the term "indefinite hiatus".

It's much easier to say this than it is to split up for real, but what else were Fugazi supposed to do? They are still friends, they simply don't feel the band has anything more to say at this present time. Plus it's not like they stopped making music altogether — everyone of them has their own projects, their own things and most importantly their own life. I guess it's a matter of realizing that at one point you've reached an end, or that it would take too long for something to actually carry on in the proper manner. And I get it. Shutting up sometimes really says more than a hundred words, in that even absence implies non-presence (or past presence, in this case), it creates longing, it creates an empty space to be filled by whoever feels up to the task. In other words, I'm pretty sure something as big as Fugazi never really dies, and I think they too think so. "That is not dead which can eternal lie"…

[longagoitwastuesday]

I've also been reading the three musketeers and the thesis chapter had me Cackling. the clowning on learning latin in particular and aramis as a character constantly emphasizing that being part of the higher sought after and hard-to-get-into regiment of the king's musketeers is just kind of a temp job for him is so funny. character of all time. (also bazin wanting aramis to be a abbe so bad is so good)

Disclaimer that I was actually not reading the book, just giving a look and toying with the idea of reading it soon. In fact I was reading something else, but the chapter was so funny I've abandoned it and will probably start The three musketeers instead xD

Yes! Bazin was so funny. While reading him I couldn't help but be reminded of Smee wanting to leave Neverland and done with Hook's obsession for Peter Pan. Aramis dismissing being a musketeer is hilarious, but it becomes particularly funny after reading Cyrano de Bergerac, where Cyrano mentions being a musketeer wistfully a couple of times. While I was reading the play I kept thinking that Cyrano's aspirations were basically to be Aramis haha

The use of Latin each character (the curate, the Jesuit, D'Artagnan and Aramis) does was indeed very funny, as well as insightful. I ended up reading a paper on the command each of the four protagonists has of Latin, and I loved the comparison it established between Athos and Aramis. I don't have an opinion on this formed because I have yet to read the book, which is a good thing (it will hopefully keep me from rambling), but I found what I read super interesting.

The chapter was very funny, and I felt Dumas managed everything very well? I loved the writing itself. Every part of the chapter worked wonderfully as a whole to enhance every aspect, making the funny parts more fun and drawing a more clear lively depiction of the characters.

By that I mean, basically, that even from the initial interaction between D'Artagnan and the hostess in which he asks for Aramis and she goes "the charming hot guy?" we can see Aramis' hypocrisy and unsteadiness by a mile. It's hilarious to read the chapter and see how Aramis ends up contradicting everything he does or says, at times not even that long after saying it xD

Which takes me to the thesis itself. Honestly, I loved the topics. I know they're supposed to sound a bit ridiculous and funny, but I thought Dumas conveyed very well the air of some of those intricate questions of theology that seem trifle but have a lot of implications, and end up being of a very poetic nature (such as the question about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, one of my all time favourite questions). I wasn't very interested on the topic of the hands until the Jesuit commented that sprinklers "simulate an infinite number of blessing fingers"; that's beautiful.

Now, the topic Aramis himself proposes is just gorgeous. The way he defends it with a syllogism is so clever of Dumas considering the link between theology and the development of Logic. Besides that, despite how unorthodox the topic may appear at first, as Aramis himself puts it, there is a lot of truth in what he says about the world being full of temptations and it being very much a sacrifice to leave it, and how there lies the devotional act. I ended up being very intrigued by the potential development of this thesis in a mix of appreciation of the world as God's creature, and thus the leaving of the world as an act of true love for God, of more importance; how instead of an easy surrender, the struggle and doubts are as much reflection of the condition of humanity's frailty as it is a more steady and full surrender to God.

The topic of Aramis' thesis is somewhat paradoxical yet sound, and reflects doubts, as well as an appreciation for the world, aesthetics and beauty; I think it reflects so much of what makes Aramis himself.

And then, again, there's the whole hypocrisy through the entire chapter (which is what makes it for me haha). The way he says he isn't defending a regret at renouncing the world while proposing the thesis, that the mere idea is sacrilegious, how he insists he won't miss it, that friends are but shadows and the world a grave, and still how his resolution wavers almost instantly with his "And yet, while I still hold to the earth, I would have liked to talk with you, about you, about our friends" (and what a tender shaking), only to end up asking D'Artagnan to tell him about the world in the last line? Hilarious. What an hypocrite xD

But how extremely charming and adorable, I must admit! I love how when D'Artagnan tells him "But how are you going to live while you wait for me? No more thesis, no more commentaries on fingers and blessings, eh?", Aramis smiles and replies "I shall compose verses". Truly one of the characters of all time xD

[grigori77]

2023 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 1)

30.  SICK – the year’s first real horror cinema surprise was also one of its VERY FIRST standouts period, a brilliant little streaming sleeper from Peacock which snuck in under the radar but EFFORTLESSLY captured my attention AND the darker parts of my imagination.  Best of all, though, it was SO COOL to see legendary revisionist horror screenwriter Kevin Williamson return to the “big screen” again after spending so long plying his trade on TV – I was VERY MUCH the target audience for Scream when it came out, I just ATE UP his delicious post-modern deconstruction of the slasher genre and its subsequent follow-ups (although Robert Rodriguez’ The Faculty, his fantastic take on alien invasion movie tropes, remains my very favourite of Willaimson’s creations to date), even if it did lead to a fresh sub-genre which, paradoxically, became increasingly tired and toothless as the years progressed.  In the end, I think it’s probably A GOOD THING he took a step back – he just needed a chance to rethink things and find a fresh angle to come at the genre … and BY THE GODS has he ever found one with THIS.  Interestingly, for Williamson at least, the Pandemic couldn’t have come along at a better time, giving him fertile ground indeed in which to grow a particularly potent darkly comic slasher which EASILY lives up to his masterworks.  Taking place in the early days of the original outbreak, when the first Lockdown was just starting, infection alerts and self-isolation were only just becoming a major thing and everybody was PANICKING over how much they really DIDN’T yet know about what was REALLY going on, the setting was already ripe for some pretty intense, chaotic storytelling … so adding a brutal serial killer with a penchant for killing off the idiots who flagrantly flaunted the COVID safety restrictions and purposefully went out of their way to pretend things were the same as normal was a slick move.  The main bulk of the narrative revolves around three college kids in some nondescript part of the US – Parker (Blockers and The Society’s Gideon Adlon), a well-off party girl who’s looking to make some major changes in her life, and her best friend Miri (up-and coming R&B artist Beth Million), who go to Parker’s family’s expansive country home to quarantine in comfort, and Parker’s newly-EX boyfriend DJ (Man of Steel and Teen Wolf’s Dylan Sprayberry), who turns up ostensibly to try and patch things up between them but may simply have come for an opportunistic hook-up – who are targeted by a killer who subsequently hunts them during a night of fraught tension, smartly staged stalk-and-slash set-pieces and a hefty dose of Williamson’s characteristic jet black-but-enjoyably geeky sense of humour, which is this time pitched to a particularly sharp edge of biting finger-on-the-pulse satire given the rich socio-political real-life material he’s able to mine here.  The small but extremely potent cast are all BRILLIANT, although the film really is DOMINATED by Adlon, who once again shows that she’s destined for GREAT THINGS INDEED in the future with a brilliant turn that runs an impressive gamut from irresponsibly entitled brat to vitally determined survivor once circumstances have fully driven her to take proper responsibility for her childish behaviour, making for a compellingly sympathetic young heroine we find easy enough to root for.  It probably helps the man behind the camera is John Hyams (All Square, Alone), son of legendary genre-hopping director Peter Hyams, who shows he’s definitely inherited his dad’s impressive skill by crafting a lean, tight and precise slice of thrilling cinema which takes full advantage of a tight budget and (mostly) a single location, which results in a brilliant little comedy horror gem that I’d heartily recommend folk hunt down on streaming, or at the very least keep in mind for Halloween …

29.  HOW TO BLOW UP A PIPELINE – it’s always nice when a sharp little indie banger sneaks in under the radar to place on one of my lists for the year, and this impressive critically acclaimed underdog thriller definitely shaped up as one of the year’s most memorable examples.  It’s a very low-fi, gritty down-and-dirty procedural slice-of-life thriller about a motley collection of eco-terrorists banding together to sabotage an oil pipeline in West Texas, focusing almost entirely on this core group of disillusioned youths played by eight uniformly EXCEPTIONAL actors each handing in genuine (ahem) dynamite performances.  Ariele Barer (Marvel’s Runaways), The Revenant’s Forrest Goodluck, American Honey’s Sasha Lane and Marcus Scribner (probably best known as the voice of She-Ra & the Princesses of Power’s Bow) are the undeniable stand-outs here, but all of these kids are ON FIRE throughout, showing they’ve got truly BRIGHT futures ahead of them indeed, while Irene Bedard (Smoke Signals) also impresses in a supporting turn as Joanna, an FBI agent who may be onto their plans … the film bounces between the varying points of view amongst the characters, gradually unveiling their motivations to commit a morally complex terrorist act through a series of scattered flashbacks punctuating the planning, execution and aftermath of the bombing itself, with writer-director Daniel Goldhaber (Cam, here co-adapting Andreas Maim’s incendiary non-fiction novel with Ariele Barer herself and Cam’s co-writer Jordan Sjol) weaving a suitably taut and atmospheric slowburn path throughout the flawlessly executed narrative, the film brilliantly building its wire-taut tension to a rewardingly cathartic climax which is as provocative as the challenging subject matter.  This is a film that asks some VERY BIG QUESTIONS and delivers some suitably complicated and rightfully TROUBLING answers, a razor sharp piece of indie cinema which definitely deserves the critical acclaim and cult hit status it’s earned …

28.  COCAINE BEAR – gods, if EVER there was a true story that seemed TAILOR MADE for cinema, it’s the bizarre tale of Cokey the Bear, AKA Pablo Eskobear, an American black bear that died after ingesting 34 keys of cocaine that were dumped out of a smuggler’s cargo plane over the Tennessee wilderness in 1985.  That being said, it’s not a huge surprise it’s taken Hollywood SO LONG to actually get it made, perhaps it’s just TOO CRAZY a concept for it to have been made before now.  Ultimately, the film takes A LOT of liberties with the truth to instead craft an entertaining story, but in the end that’s definitely the smart move, simply using the concept as a springboard to craft a gloriously batshit horror comedy with a JET BLACK sense of humour populated by an offbeat collection of quirky characters.  Keri Russell stars as Sari, a nurse and single mother who has to brave the woods in order to find her young daughter Dee Dee (The Florida Project’s Brooklyn Prince), who’s playing hooky in the Chattahoochee-Oconee National Forest with her best friend Henry (Sweet Tooth’s Christian Convery) right when Cokey goes on her drug-fuelled homicidal rampage; meanwhile, recently bereaved widower Eddie (Solo’s Alden Ehrenreich) and his best friend Daveed (Straight Outta Compton’s O’Shea Jackson Jr.) are two drug cartel enforcers reluctantly scouring the area in search of their lost product at the behest of Eddie’s overbearing St Louis drug kingpin father Syd White (the late, great Ray Liotta, to whom the film is dedicated); and then there’s hapless but dogged Knoxville detective Bob (the venerable Isaiah Whitlock Jr.), who knows he can bust White if he can just get his hands on the evidence.  All three parties converge in the park while the bear wreaks merry havoc in Elizabeth Banks’ third film as a director (after Pitch Perfect 2 and the CRIMINALLY mistreated and overlooked Charlie’s Angels reboot), which looks like it might FINALLY get people to start taking her serious BEHIND the camera as well as IN FRONT of it – this is a proper laugh-riot of a film which is also delightfully non-PC, and it’s liberally peppered with impressively blood-soaked effects to thrill the gore-hounds as well as an impressively well-realised digital animal character in the eponymous drug-addled beastie.  The cast are brilliant too, Russell and Ehrenreich both particularly impressing in their respective nominal lead roles while the kids are EXCEPTIONAL (particularly Convery, getting to gleefully overact as one of the most hyperactive-yet-not-irritating kids I’ve ever seen on screen), and it’s both enriching and a little heartbreaking to watch Liotta once again act his socks off in one of his very last film roles; that being said, several of the scenes are thoroughly STOLEN by the irrepressible Margo Martindale, who’s clearly having the time of her life in one of her most gloriously OTT roles as foul-mouthed, much put-upon park Ranger Liz.  Ultimately this is a horror comedy where the balance is definitely tipped very much in favour of the laughs over the scares, but that’s fine, because with a concept this batshit bonkers we were always gonna find it too funny to ever be remotely scary, so the end result is one of THE FUNNIEST MOVIES I ran across in the cinema all year, rightfully revelling in its own inherent irreverence.  It’s just about the most fun you could ever expect it to be, which is just what you want from a movie about a cocaine bear, really …

27.  THE FLASH – oh boy … yeah, this one is gonna be a COMPLICATED talk.  This was one TROUBLED project from day one, from the major shake-ups surrounding the Joss Whedon-compromised Justice League film and the subsequent mess THAT unleashed, through the whole conflicting debate over Zack Snyder’s original vision for the DCEU, and then the eventual collapse of the Cinematic Universe itself, this film, originally entitled Flashpoint (which personally I like A WHOLE LOT more, actually, since it really does pay DIRECT reference to the actually storyline they went with) went through a whole collection of incarnations and reiterations and, for a while, it was starting to look like we might NEVER see it hit our cinema screens at all … and that’s without even mentioning star Ezra Miller’s ongoing legal troubles and essential CANCELLING after their continued outrageous, unacceptable off-set behaviour, which looked set to torpedo the film all on its own.  Honestly, I have to admit I was MYSELF a little wary going in, not because of these particular problems but more just the prospect of what I would actually do if, in spite of all this, I actually still LIKED IT … unfortunately for me, that was VERY MUCH the case, which is why we’re here in the first place. 

But I must forge on, and so I’m gonna just take this film on ITS OWN face value and ignore the external problems … at least until THE END of the review … because The Flash is, actually, pretty fucking GREAT.  Barry Allen (Miller) is finally coming into his own as a fully-fledged member of the Justic League, even if this does frequently mean he’s essentially cleaning up the extreme messes left behind when Batman/Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck) gets involved in particularly BIG potential world-shattering events, as brilliantly illustrated in the film’s suitably SPECTACULAR opening set-piece, which does a BEAUTIFUL job of not only letting us know EXACTLY what this incarnation of the Flash is actually capable of, but also revealing Barry’s own distinctly unique, offbeat and, frankly, really rather ADORABLE personal style of superheroism.  Then the plot itself kicks off when Barry’s father Henry (Ron Livingstone), serving life in prison for the wrongfully-convicted murder of Barry’s mother Nora (Pan’s Labyrinth’s wonderful Maribel Verdu), sees his latest (and, it looks like, FINAL) appeal fall flat due to a crucial new piece of evidence turning out to be useless, and Barry decides he's had enough of ignoring a particularly potent aspect of his superpowers –

the ability to run SO FAST that he can actually GO BACK IN TIME!!!  So he races back to the day of his mother’s death and tweaks circumstances so that she survives, only for Barry to then get punted off track before he can return to the present by an unknown entity within “the Speedforce” which then lands him in 2013, just days before Earth’s invasion by the hostile Kryptonian forces of General Zod (Michael Shannon), as seen in Man of Steel.  Still with us so far?  Yeah, well it gets EVEN MORE complicated, cuz it turns out that, while his mum is now STILL ALIVE, Barry hasn’t got his powers in this universe, which means that he has to reform the Justice League himself in THIS timeline in order to defeat Zod.  Except that there are FAR MORE consequences to messing with time than Barry ever took into account set to make things all but insurmountably complicated for him to succeed … beyond this we’re getting into DANGEROUS spoiler territory, beyond the fact that these new developments give rise to whole fresh and very complicated ideas of alternative universes somewhat akin to what the MCU’s already started experimenting with (which is also, actually, something that the DC comics universe does ALL THE BLOODY TIME), which gives rise to whole new incarnations of beloved characters from the established DCEU, some of which HAVE already been revealed in the trailers and beyond, but others not so much, so … yeah, anyway, it’s a glorious MESS of a narrative, but somehow this film does a REALLY IMPRESSIVE job of navigating this jumble in an impressively coherent and breezy way that ultimately makes this a whole lot of fun to watch, actually.  Of course, the lion’s share of the praise for this HAS TO go to screenwriter Christina Hodson (Birds of Prey & the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) for wrangling the UNHOLY MESS of development done for the previous incarnations into an actual WORKING script, which was then brought to life with suitably brave and adventurous SKILL by director Andy Muschietti (Mama and It Chapter One and Two), but the uniformly EXCEPTIONAL cast shoulder a good deal of that responsibility too –

Miller may be problematic in real life, but there can be no denying that he is FUCKING BRILLIANT in his signature role, crafting a hyperactive, ultra-awkward social misfit of a superhero that us various underdog kids just can’t help rooting for, while it is a MASSIVE pleasure to get to see MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE Batman return as this AU’s altered version of Bruce Wayne, the legendary Michael Keaton himself again proving why he really is THE VERY BEST VERSION of the character out there (and I will accept NO ARGUMENT AT ALL about that, I swear you can all FIGHT ME on this particular hill upon which I am determined to DIE if I must), and Livingstone and Verdu bring an IMMENSE amount of pathos to their characters throughout which makes it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR why Barry tries SO HARD to save them both, and it’s also great fun getting to see Michael Shannon back as the Big Bad here again, I always really liked this spectacular scenery-chewing version of Zod.  For me, though, the biggest win here has to be The Young & the Restless’ Sasha Calle, making her big screen debut as the most impressive and DCEU-consistent incarnation of Kara Zor-El, aka SUPERGIRL, that we could ever have hoped for, she’s a truly AWESOME creation, EASILY as badass as Henry Cavill’s Supes but also a good deal more complex as a character too.  Ultimately it’s a shame that circumstances mean that we likely won’t get to see more of her in future projects, much like Keaton’s returning Batman, as they’re definitely the unexpected heart and soul of the film, easily delivering in the most impressively iconic set-pieces and memorable character beats.  Indeed, this is SO BLOODY BRILLIANT all round as a film – from its spectacular action sequences, through its frequent gleefully anarchic screwball humour, to a variety of impressive jaw-dropping game-changer twists in the narrative – that the fact that the DCEU itself is officially over and all of this means PRECISELY ZERO in the face of where it’s all going in James Gunn’s incoming Cinematic Universe reboot makes this feel all the more ultimately pointless, which lends any viewing a bittersweet aftertaste no matter HOW enjoyable it all is.  I mean granted, it’s NOT perfect (there is, famously, some pretty clunky CGI that ALMOST takes you out of the experience, especially in the climactic sequence when we see the timelines start to collide), but then very few of the DCEU movies HAVE BEEN anyway, and this one still works just fine for what it is.  So it may not have any actual VALUE for the series moving forward, but it’s still a really great movie that MORE THAN deserves to be seen for its own merits, and I highly recommend you give it a chance anyway.  At least Gunn and co have seen the sense to keep Muschietti onboard for their reboot (namely helming the new DCU’s Batman reboot The Brave & the Bold), and if they’ve any more sense they’ll bring Christina Hodson back for more too …

26.  THE EQUALIZER 3 – Director Antoine Fuqua and Denzel Washington have had a long and extremely fruitful working relationship, from their earliest collaboration on his best-known film, Training Day (which finally landed Washington his long-overdue best actor Oscar, although many of us agree that it SHOULD have gone to him a few years prior for The Hurricane), through the EXTREMELY impressive remake of the classic western The Magnificent Seven, to their most lucrative and long-running collab to date, a series of feature adaptations of a cult classic TV thriller show from the 80s which has now reached its THIRD instalment and STILL seems to be running at full steam with no sign of flagging.  Indeed, this just might be THE BEST ONE YET … Washington once again effortlessly delivers a coolly sophisticated, often understated but still typically deeply nuanced turn as Robert McCall, the former special-forces soldier turned SOCOM operative who reemerged from self-imposed faked-death-retirement in the first film in order to deliver bloody retribution for the brutal assault of a young girl, only to subsequently find a new calling as a freelance guardian angel for the weak and powerless who have nowhere else to turn with a dangerous problem.  This time round his antiheroic adventures has brought him to Italy, where the ill-fated end of his latest operation sees him near death from a bullet in his back, being nursed back to health in the remote coastal town of Altamonte.  It’s here that he finally finds that true peace that’s so long eluded him as he recovers from his injuries, but he finds himself ultimately dragged back into the fray when a

Camorra crime outfit from Naples, looking to expand their operation to new territories, starts trying to exploit the townsfolk that Robert has grown so close to beyond their breaking point … ultimately this is a more slowburn, understated affair than the previous two films, but that actually proves to be this instalment’s greatest strength, allowing us to get closer to our Equalizer than ever before, as well as the people he’s driven to help, which makes this BY FAR the most emotionally investing film in the trilogy, and makes us root for Robert like never before as we wait for him to FINALLY bring the pain to these Mafioso thugs.  That dam-break, when they finally come, is as viscerally intense as we’ve come to expect from the series, but thanks to the additional groundwork this time round the kills and cathartic payback delivered feel more satisfyingly substantial, while the film’s greatest pleasures ultimately lie more in the anticipation as Fuqua cranks the tension tighter and we edge further forward in our seats.  Once again, the supporting cast all shine through, with Andrea Scarduzio (Colour On the Cross) giving great bad guy as subtly reptilian Mob boss Vincent Quaranta, ably backed up by Andrea Dodero (Thou Shalt Not Hate) as Vincent’s vicious, jumped up thug of a little brother Marco, while Gaia Scodellaro (CentroVetrine) and Eugenio Mastrandeo (From Scratch) deftly show us what’s so worth fighting for in this town as effervescently friendly local café owner Aminah and Altamonte’s principled but pragmatically fair sole Carabinieri Gio Bonucci; the biggest standout, however, is Dakota Fanning as Emma Collins, the smart and dogged FBI agent who ends up tracking Robert down following his involvement in the opening showdown and uncovers a whole nest of previous overlooked criminal chaos.  At the end of the day though, this is ONCE AGAIN every inch Washington’s film, the erstwhile star clearly enjoying himself immensely in one of the best and most iconic

roles of his career, although this third instalment looks like it might be the last Equalizer with him in the lead since it becomes abundantly clear that it’s looking to wind things up for Robet’s final adventure in a suitably satisfying way.  That being said, there’s definitely room, interest and clear demand for more from both the fanbase AND the creatives here, with the pervading theory being that we may be going back to the early days of McCall’s time with the CIA, in which case the obvious choice moving forward would be to let John David Washington step into his dad’s shoes as young Robert.  In truth it’s the only smart choice …

25.  ANT-MAN & THE WASP: QUANTUMANIA – coming off the back of 2022’s decidedly hit-and-miss big screen slate for Disney and Marvel’s current flagship property, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, THIS past year’s first MCU release had A LOT of eyes on it.  Gods know, I definitely had TWO OF ‘EM … and it probably wasn’t the best title to be laying all this weight on, either – the Ant-Man movies in particular have always been a bit of a marmite property within the larger universe, with as many detractors as fans, which definitely didn’t help things here.  If this turned out to be third time unlucky for Paul Rudd’s Scott Lang and the rest, it could spell much larger disaster for the MCU overall, or at the very least signify that the cracks are definitely growing beyond the studios’ capacity to patch ‘em up on the run.  So I’ll admit, I went into this one with a whole lot of trepidation … was it unwarranted?  Well, being completely honest … not ENTIRELY.  Tried-and-tested comedy director Peyton Reed’s Ant-Man films have always been a pretty mad collection anyway, as much a full-blown comedy sub-franchise as the Guardians of the Galaxy movies or Thor under Taika Waititi, but even so they still managed to keep ONE FOOT on the ground even while the rest was set EXTENSIVELY in the Quantum Realm, but this one has somewhat jumped the shark.  Granted, part of this film’s particular OTT outlandishness and unabashed WACKINESS is down to narrative necessity – giving too much away plot-wise unfortunately runs the risk of dropping some MASSIVE spoilers, but it’s at least safe to say that the lion’s share of the story takes place ENTIRELY in the Quantum Realm this time, and it’s a place which is A WHOLE LOT DIFFERENT from anything we might have imagined from our very brief visits in Ant-Man & the Wasp and Avengers: Endgame.  For a start, it’s A WHOLE LOT BIGGER than we thought it was, and MUCH more heavily populated by some truly WEIRD SHIT … the film also has some major heavy-lifting to do with regards to setting up the Big Bad for Phase 5 and 6 both – Kang the Conqueror (The Last Black Man In San Francisco and Creed III’s Jonathan Majors), a Multiverse-based Thanos level threat we first encountered (sort of) in 2021’s runaway hit first season of Loki.  This at least is one of the areas in which the movie definitely SUCCEEDED – ultimately problematic as he may have become since the film’s release, Majors at least did a commendable job of establishing one of the franchise’s most interesting and effective supervillains, a near God Tier Bad Guy who’s clearly gonna give the whole Avengers roster a run for their money when they finally come face to face with him (in whatever recast form he ultimately takes).  The plot, such as it is, is pure scrambled bananas, a heavyweight mindfuck it’s best to just DISENGAGE the brain to go with in order to get proper enjoyment

out of – this is definitely a cinematic GUILTY PLEASURE, and trying to take it even remotely seriously immediately draws the eye to a thousand gaping plot-holes and glaring narrative stumbles.  At least the patented stunning, primary coloured visuals, winning sense of humour and cavalcade of delightfully wacky set-pieces (the clone-spawning “probability explosion” sequence is a particularly overblown, super-trippy highlight with an unexpected tear-jerk factor built in) are all fully functional and behaving correctly, and the thoroughly endearing cast all deliver admirably with nary an off-note hint of miscasting – Rudd and Evangeline Lilly (returning as Hope van Dyne AKA the titular Wasp) are both still pitch perfect, while it’s nice to see Michael Douglas and PARTICULARLY Michelle Pfeiffer getting to do a whole lot more this time round as Hank Pym and Janet van Dyne, and the glaring Michael Pena-shaped hole is ALMOST filled by a few other quality comedic turns from the likes of deadpan laugh-MASTER Bill Murray and David Dastmalchian (here returning in a VERY interesting but also very DIFFERENT role to what we’ve seen from him here before), as well as a surprise returning face (ahem) from this trilogy’s past.  Meanwhile, alongside Majors there are other similarly noteworthy series newcomers who make BIG IMPRESSIONS, from Z Nation and The Mandalorian’s Katy O’Brien (who’s been a growing favourite of mine for a little while now), who’s a completely EPIC badass I wanna see A LOT more of in the future as hard-nosed Quantum freedom fighter Jentorra, to Kathryn Newton (Supernatural, Freaky), making the role of Scott’s now (pretty much) full-grown daughter Cassie ENTIRELY her own, and she’s clearly got a MAJOR future ahead of her in the MCU herself now she’s started carving out her own super-powered secret identity (roll on Young Avengers, I say!).  The movie may be another flawed, somewhat unwieldy and occasionally downright CLUNKY beast, but the franchise is still managing to stand up where it counts, and compared to the likes of Thor: Love & Thunder and Black Panther: Wakanda Forever it definitely holds up a good deal better in its own right.  Most of all, though, it’s A WHOLE LOT of pure, unadulterated FUN, which is ultimately exactly what you want from a big primary-coloured superhero blockbuster.  In the end, it still remains to be seen if the MCU can be clawed back from the brink it’s still teetering perilously on the edge of, but despite all that’s still wrong with it, this is at least a VERY SMALL step back in the right direction …

24.  THE PALE BLUE EYE – largely sneaking in under the radar on Netflix to start the New Year off, the latest offering from highly acclaimed indie writer-director Scott Cooper (Crazy Heart, Black Mass, Antlers) is, much as we’d likely expect from such a consistently varied, genre-hopping filmmaker, a strange, unique and deeply intriguing beast of a film.  Adapted from Louis Bayard’s well-received speculative fiction novel about a young Edgar Allan Poe aiding the investigation of a bafflingly macabre murder in the US Military Academy at West Point in the early 1830s.  Christian Bale returns with typical stoic, intense and magnificently brooding megawatt presence for his THIRD leading man tour of duty for Cooper (after Out of the Furnace and Hostiles) as Augustus Landor, a former West Point graduate-turned misanthropic former detective brought in to lead the investigation into the brutal hanging and evisceration (with additional heart-removal) of a young cadet that’s baffling the faculty and local police, which is soon compounded when additional bodies start piling up.  He’s aided in his endeavours by another cadet, the young Poe himself (played to PERFECTION by Harry Potter’s own Harry Melling, continuing his meteoric and deeply impressive rise to prominence with another TOUR-DE-FORCE performance here), while the clues lead to a variety of deeply troubling twists and revelations as well as an intriguing collection of suitably odd and often highly charismatic characters played by the sterling likes of Lucy Boynton, Toby Jones, Simon McBurney and a fascinatingly unusual turn from Robert Duvall, although the real standout here is a truly MAGNIFICENT career-best performance from Gillian Anderson.  Cooper piles on the story’s doom-laden gothic atmosphere to great effect throughout while cranking up the slowburn and deeply uncomfortable suspenseful tension throughout, while the plot is nothing short of MACHIAVELLIAN in its levels of ingenious labyrinthine intelligence, dropping an ultimate denouement that you really have to be paying SERIOUS ATTENTION to see coming, and the production design, costumes, period detail and, most of all, the thoroughly MOODY bleak-midwinter cinematography make for a freezing cold but thoroughly rewarding feast for the eyes for the most discerning film-fanatic.  Altogether Cooper’s delivered another winner, and I hope he continues to make films this good well into the future.

23.  DOOR MOUSE – Avan Jogia may be best known as an actor in fare like Caprica, Zombieland: Double Tap and Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City, but his debut feature as a writer-director definitely shows he’s got a lot of potential as a genuine filmmaking talent moving forward.  This is an edgy, offbeat and enjoyably quirky little indie oddity that CLEARLY doesn’t care to play by anyone’s conventional rules, telling its unapologetically DARK and dirty little story the way IT WANTS TO without ever trying to spell its message out for the viewer.  Riverdale’s Hayley Law is, as ever, simply MESMERISING as Mouse, a tough, hard-bitten burlesque dancer looking to make a better life for herself as a comic book creator, only for fate to throw a wrench in the works for her when girls at her club start disappearing under mysterious circumstances.  Her resulting investigation leads to the shocking realisation that they’re being kidnapped into a life of sexual slavery, and it looks like she’s going to have to make a bold and very dangerous choice in order to effect a rescue … as always, Law simply OWNS the screen, powering the story along with equal parts guarded bravado and well-hidden wounded vulnerability, and she’s ably supported by the likes of Keith Powers (Straight Outta Compton) as Mouse’s best friend Ugly, the club’s unassuming but VERY capable bouncer, the great Famke Janssen as Mama, the club’s owner and Mouse’s laconic mother figure, and Jogia himself as her ex-boyfriend, local drug-dealing hood Mooney.  The plot twists and turns with suitably pulpy skill while Mouse’s comic book bleeds into the narrative through striking imagery and quirky little animated episodes, while the film tackles big, dark themes with an unflinching eye and refuses to deliver easy answers, particularly in the cathartic but suitably JET BLACK ending.  This is a hell of a debut for a promising new filmmaking talent, then, and I’d LOVE to spend some more time with Mouse herself if Jogia and Law are willing …

22.  SHAZAM: FURY OF THE GODS – it’s interesting that, at least on here, the DC Cinematic Universe (AKA the DCEU) has managed to stand up so well this past year, especially given the recent MAJOR upheavals that have rocked the franchise as a whole.  Not least because said Universe is essentially about to get hit with a Hard Reset under the guidance of new DC Studios CEO James Gunn, so none of this even MATTERS any more going forward … certainly this fact has NOT been lost on cinemagoers, who were already starting to pull away when Black Adam came out in late 2022 and subsequently seemed content to STAY away IN DROVES for this one, likely waiting to give it a go in the privacy and safety of their own homes once it hit streaming.  In a way this sounded a pre-emptive death knell for the DCEU which I was genuinely sceptical about it recovering from … which is a shame, because 2019’s Shazam! was one of the franchise’s BEST FEATURES, a gleefully anarchic post-modern deconstruction of the overblown superhero antics the franchise largely glorified before while never taking itself particularly seriously but simply playing itself with just the right amount of knowing wink-and-nod.  Even more of a shame, then, that this follow-up has proven to be SUCH a performance TURKEY, because it’s JUST AS GOOD as the first one, taking all the lessons learned from the first movie to heart and delivering more of everything that really WORKED once again while trying something new and fresh to expand on this little corner of the Universe with impressive aplomb and consummate skill. 

Returning director David F. Sandberg (Lights Out) once again delivers in HIGH STYLE and customary spooky flair as he and returning screenwriter Henry Gayden (Earth To Echo, There’s Someone In Your House), along with Fast & Furious franchise lynchpin scribe Chris Morgan, expand on the adventures of coming-of-age young hero Billy Batson (Andi Mack’s Asher Angel) and his (still unnamed) superpowered alter ego (Zachary Levi), alongside his now similarly gifted teenaged foster siblings, as the Daughters of Atlas – Hespera (Helen Mirren), Kalypso (Lucy Liu) and Anthea (Rachel Zegler), a trio of immensely powerful but (somewhat) morally dubious classical Greek goddesses – come to claim their powers for their own in order to rejuvenate the Tree of Life and punish Mankind for its wickedness.  The usual existential high stakes, then.  Angel and Levi are, once again, ON FIRE here, the former star of Chuck in particular once again proving what an undisputable comedic MASTER he is while they both deliver MAGNIFICENTLY in the dramatic moments too, while their returning co-stars and sterling veteran support are once again just as great as before, It’s Jack Dylan Grazer particularly getting to really SHINE this time round in a particularly WEIGHTY role that nonetheless once again manages to utilise his own impressive comedic talents to full effect too, while it’s also GREAT to see This Is Us’ Faith Herman get a much more expanded role this time round as the irrepressible Darla; Djimon Hounsou, meanwhile, also gets a lot more to do as he returns as the enjoyably crabby and pompous Wizard Shazam, who’s none too happy with Billy for breaking the staff last time round and setting this all off in the first place.  The Daughters, meanwhile, are FANTASTIC antagonists, Liu and Mirren clearly enjoying the opportunity to be flamboyant, majestic and over-the-top in proper Shakespearean

style, while Zegler invests “Anne” with a good deal more moral fibre and complexity as the most sympathetic (and ultimately conflicted) of the trio.  Sandberg and co again deliver IN SPADES on the action, atmospherics, gorgeously exotic design and sheer creativity which made the first movie such an unexpected treat, while also delivering more of that winning, sometimes downright SCREWBALL BONKERS humour to keep it entertaining and let you know that, just like its predecessor, this film knows FULL WELL how ridiculous it is and is fully prepared to just OWN IT.  The end result is, ultimately, one of the best of the closing slate of DCEU films, which just makes it even sadder to think that they probably won’t continue the story once the franchise reboots.

21.  GODZILLA MINUS ONE – as much as I LOVE the new efforts of Warner Bros’ impressively robust Monsterverse Expanded Universe to bring the greatest big screen kaiju of them all to life, I am not even REMOTELY surprised that it took a Japanese writer-director to truly get right down to the heart of the character with what feels like the truest, most respectful and, quite simply, VERY BEST big screen reworking of the classic original to date.  Mostly I just count myself lucky I was able to find a showing at my local cinema that I could actually get to – this is definitely one of those features that really does DESERVE to be seen on the BIG screen.  Writer-director Takashi Yamazaki certainly has an impressive track record, having helmed the likes of Space Battleship Yamato, The Great War of Archimedes and Lupin III: The First, but even so, this came somewhat out of the blue to not only become a MASSIVE, runaway hit in Japan but also in foreign markets, particularly blowing away western audiences who are universally praising it as one of THE greatest movies of this decade so far.  All right … from a purely critical point of view, I may not quite think THAT about this, but this IS an EXTREMELY GOOD FILM, Yamazaki guiding an impressively game cast and clearly deeply committed crew to create a work of rare emotional power and uplifting intensity that tells a breathless tale of the unbreakable power of the human spirit even in the face of HORRIFIC cataclysmic events … a theme which has, of course, remained close to the hearts of the Japanese ever since Hiroshima and Nagasaki, which famously directly informed Ishiro Honda’s beloved original.  This time round, Godzilla is a pure, monstrous and thoroughly TERRIFYING force of nature throughout the film, a devastating and unstoppable mutated aberration created by the fallout of America’s H-bombs, which is unleashing unfathomable chaos across post-World War II Japan, leading a band of desperate civilians to take matters into their own hands and attempt a desperate stand to stop the horror before all is lost.  Ryunosuke Kamiki (probably best known for his years of work as one of Studio Ghibli’s key voice actors) proves a compellingly fallible hero as deeply traumatised failed kamikaze pilot Koichi Shikishima, who finds himself battling internal demons even worse than the monster he’s up against in the real world, ably supported by Minami Hanabe (The Great War of Archimedes) as Noriko, the spirited young adoptive mother that Koichi takes in after returning from the war and forms a tight bond with, Hidetaka Yoshiaki (Always: Sunset On Third Street) as Professor Kenji Noda, the former Naval weapons engineer who becomes Koichi’s mentor, and Munetaka Aoki (Rurouni Kenshin) as Sosaku Tachibana, a former Naval fighter mechanic suffering from his own deep-seated traumas after the War.  This is an interesting departure from the classic Kaiju cinema recipe, because while the Big G is definitely a powerful and potent threat that casts a very BIG shadow over events here, Minus One is ultimately less of a monster movie than a movie with a monster IN IT, Yamazaki preferring to focus on the human story and concentrate our attention on the horrors these people have to endure at the unfathomably massive claws of this terrible creature, certainly physical but predominantly mental and emotional.  That’s not to say it ain’t suitably potent in the action stakes, EASILY delivering some suitably THRILLING set-pieces while the creature himself and the chaos he unleashes is portrayed with impressively executed visual effects flair … it’s just that, ultimately, this is a film which is much more of a triumph of GREAT WRITING, peerless direction and awards-worthy performances from an astonishing cast.  In other words, it’s just a really GREAT FILM, period.  Which makes this something TRULY SPECIAL after all, I guess …