#my favourite paradox has to be this: if god is good

[thermodynamic-comedian]

frey would you kindly keep taking christianity's view of afterlife apart

it's fucking entertaining

its my fate as a born and raised atheist to forever be confused by that stuff. at risk of sounding insensitive (i mean, i am just a rude person in general, this is not new information), its just so funny yet stupid to me. probably because philisophy is my special interest, so the idea of absolute good and absolute evil in the real world feels silly to me idk.

[themeraldee]

got some thoughts about depowered homie. we know how he's had to learn to restrain his strength so he doesn't maim every person he touches (unless he wants to 😇). by this point in his life, it's probably pretty instinctive for him to restrain himself pretty much at all times. the world isn't made for someone with his strength. i imagine non supes especially but probably supes too can still feel the inflexibility and power in his touch even though he's holding back, and even on occasions when he's not deliberately trying to intimidate them.

so, if he lost his powers, i'm just imagining an s/o noticing that he seems now to touch them with such - is it hesitance? like they're made of glass and could shatter at any moment? this seems like kinda paradoxical behaviour, right? since he is much less likely to accidentally injure them now. what's going on? should they be worried his feelings for them are fading? and maybe it takes them a little bit to realise that actually, no, he hasn't changed the way he touches them at all - it's just that his strength is more normal now, but he's not relaxed the way he interacts with the world to accommodate this, so they can actually feel how careful he's had to be all his life.

cue some kind of gentle conversation about this with him where they encourage him to let go a little. bit by bit. because he can now. maybe they start by just squeezing his hand and getting him to copy, mirroring their force. he'd probably act as if this is all ridiculous and unnecessary because he's not a child until oops now he's getting teary because he didn't just crush his s/o's hand. how far he has fallen (but also what a relief it actually is, the feelings are messy).

also conversely homelander is probably finding it a bit freaky how he can feel the strength of his s/o and anyone else potentially. someone could force him into something/somewhere the bad room he doesn't want to be, and he couldn't stop them anymore. and so what was once a one-sided trust from the s/o to homelander not to hurt them when he touches them has equalised somewhat.

it'd be a learning curve for them both, him especially, but a good, very intimate one. it could bring them closer together. maybe losing his powers doesn't have to be all doom and gloom. eventually. really, i think it'd just be nice for him to be able to hold someone tight without having to be conscious about snapping their spine. (i think even with supes like maeve and stormfront, hurting them - in ways they didn't want, in sf's case - still must've been a consideration and a possibility. he's the strongest man in the world.)

i know i'm living in a reality so divorced from canon with all this but i cannot be stopped mwahahahah.

oh this is so sweet and tender, my poor heart 😭😭😭 the bit your wrote about squeezing his SOs hand is SOOOOOOO good. I adore that. Both happy that he doesn't have to worry about killing his favourite person but also terrified because he can no longer protect them. He can no longer have the upper hand. G O O O O D

i have so much love for depowered homelander. The struggle between not being who he was—the only thing he ever was—and trying to accept that this is his life going forward. Ahhhhhhhhhh, this is my kryptonite. Especially when his SO ends up being stronger than him bcs he literally never had to work his muscles. Things that just remind him of being ordinary. God the angst is insane.

But also a proper crushing 'i can't breathe' hug would heal him. Feeling, really feeling, his SOs touches. The squeezes, the push and pulls, the hugs, the kisses, the bites. I just!!!! it's not a want, it's a need

trust me, i also live in a world where canon doesn't rule, you're amongst friends 🩷

[happilyfeatherafter]

Happilyfeatherafter’s ficrec Fridays

Good friday y'all. Welcome back to a new fortnight of fics that I’ve read and loved recently. I took my first holiday of the year and IMMEDIATELY caught a cold that knocked me out for the week but at least it meant I got reading done. Save me, destiel, save me.

If you want to find more you can see my previous rec lists here!

29 March 2024

virga(e) by @shineforthee (art by @neversleepuntilfive) has gone straight to the top of the favourite fics ever pile, oh my god you guys, please read it immediately and admire the art that inspired it as part of @deancasreversebang. This fic is a thing of beauty from start to finish. In one version of the story of Dean and Cas, we find Castiel perpetually waiting in the desert, when a 26 year old Dean stumbles upon him drawn to the location mid-hunt. They must learn to trust each other, to figure out what's causing the push and pull that bonds them. The poetry of this fic, run through with this yearning devastating emotion on their journey together, coupled with the incredibly evocatively descriptions and research into the setting, come together to make the most gorgeous picture, the desert a place that seems desolate but is teeming with life. Much like the slowburn romance that flourishes between them. It also links back to post-canon in a way that is seeded so carefully and cleverly, and made my heart explode. It's funny, romantic, devastating, emotional, moving....I can't do justice to this fic with such a short snapshot, please read it for yourselves and come yell at me about it. It's so beautiful. shineforthee also has a great 9x06 fanfic gap one shot and an ongoing wip now too and I can't wait to read that! (Somehow need any more convincing? Check out @bloodydeanwinchester's Virga(e) liveblog).

It's all very complex by artichokeflower okay that was all very serious, so let's turn to a short and sweet smut fic that had me giggling gleefully throughout. 'After walking in on Dean's private time, Cas decides to do a little research and experimentation of his own and gets magically trapped in a book about sexual fantasies. And if that means Dean has to go in after him, well what are buddies for, right?' The thing that is just GOLDEN about this fic aside from the hot smut is the dry sense of humour, borderline French Mistake parody level porn and dialogue between Dean and especially Cas which just gets them so well...the cowboy scenes in particular. Glorious: “I’m sorry, Dean. That’s the end of the erotic violence. Are you hurt?” “Is there going to be any sex in your sexy fantasies?” Dean wheezed. “Not that the whole shoot out wasn’t fun. I just wasn’t expecting as much plot is all.” He coughed. That had probably sounded too eager.

Just Being and Just Having by Englandwouldfall I have recced before but is now complete!! This the post-canon fic series delves so incredibly beautifully into Dean and Cas’ history of miscommunication and gives them the chance to truly talk things out, finding themselves falling more deeply in love as they do so and understand their own mistakes but also what makes them work so well together when they’re no longer under Chuck’s thumb. Each chapter feels like therapy and a brain and heart massage! It sticks the landing so well and I just love these boys so much.

Something Happening Somewhen by allthismusic (@folkbloodbaths, art by @eggchef) aaaahhh time travel young Dean brought to the future to meet older Dean and Cas fic trope my beloved. A @deancaspinefest fic, Allthismusic is a fan of the trope too and this fic is a gorgeous tribute to it and the fics that came before. Cas saves 24yo Dean from an accident and brings him to the future when he witnesses what his life will be. Will Cas have to remove his memories to stop a paradox? Sweet and heartfelt, a joy to read.

Books, Pies, and Roommates by @seidenapfel (art by @kitshay) is a @deancaspinefest two-person love hexagon, with some excellently farcical misdirection. Cas moves in to the spare room of Dean's house, but he doesn't meet him, he meets Sam, as Dean is busy working. Cas is professor but helps his cousin out as a barista and his favourite customer is Deano. Dean's intrigued by the barista but he's not his online penpal and best friend Angel. Lines blur, connections are made, and hearts are gonna get broken...or are they?

Tag list under the cut, let me know if you'd like to be added! Please reblog <3

@dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you

[iamloveandlightsworld]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY ANGEL HUMAN✨️💛🌙

Dear Jimin,

There’s something about you that transcends the ordinary. Your eyes, soft yet piercing, hold the weight of unspoken stories, and when you smile, it’s as if the world pauses, basking in the warmth of your presence. Your singing, a delicate balance between power and tenderness, carries emotions that seep into my soul, while your dancing is an extension of your ethereal grace, each movement purposeful and breathtaking.

On stage, you become more than just a performer; you transform into an embodiment of light, your aura commanding attention with an otherworldly charm. Your emotional intelligence radiates in every interaction, the warmth in your words and the care you show making you both a fairy with a touch of magic and an angel sent to heal the world. It’s in these moments of softness, where the blend of your divine masculine and feminine creates harmony, that you stand out—a figure who embodies balance with every step.

But there’s more to why you’re so special to me. I found you in 2020, a time when the darkness in my life was suffocating. I was lost, broken, and unsure if I could make it through another day. Then, I saw you—your smile, your presence—and something shifted. It felt like the universe placed you in my life at the exact moment I needed saving. You were the light that cut through my deepest shadows, and for the first time in a long while, I believed that maybe, just maybe, everything could be alright.

I imprinted on you in a way I still can’t fully understand. I don’t know if you’ll ever truly grasp the depth of it, but connecting to you, even from afar, made me feel less alone. There’s something about the way you carry yourself, the way you express vulnerability and strength, that made me feel like I could do the same. You saved my life, and I’m forever grateful for that. In a weird, almost cosmic way, I feel like you were meant to guide me out of my own darkness.

Even now, when life feels uncertain, the thought of you calms my heart. You remind me that there’s beauty and grace even in the hardest moments, and that somehow, everything will be okay. I know we’ve never met, but your existence has brought so much meaning to mine. You’ve become a part of my journey, a reminder that there is light, even in the darkest of places.

Through it all, you’re goofy and cute, with a playful spirit that endears you to so many. You have a way of switching effortlessly from this adorable chaos to a presence that’s hot, commanding, and magnetic—a true tailor of chaos, bending reality with your charm and allure.

Through it all, your grace remains untouchable, and though your essence feels like it belongs to a realm beyond this one, there is something deeply divine about you. Your ethereal nature blends effortlessly with your divine aura, making you a living paradox—both an angel of light and a being of mesmerizing intensity.

You are my angel, Jimin. Thank you for saving me.I love you so much and I miss you and I hope you're sleeping well and eating well and that you're healthy and happy despite the circumstances and I hope your new friends are good to you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PARK JIMIN,MY MOST FAVOURITE CREATION OF GOD 💛💛💛

With all my love,

Your biggest fan

[myreia]

Exile from Delight

—chapter 3: unlikely gifts in unlikely places

Rating: Mature Characters: Thancred, Hilda, Aureia (WoL) Pairings: Thancred x Hilda [background Thancred x Aureia and background Aymeric x Aureia] Chapter Words: 3,459 Summary: Hilda isn’t supposed to mean much to him. A good time, a fun time, a distraction from his sorry lot. But sometimes the best of distractions come hand-in-hand with a sharp tongue and a quick wit. Call it the gift of insight, if you would. Prompt: v. laughter | gift Chapters: one • two • three Read on AO3

On a day like today, Ishgard’s favourite market is an anomaly.

It should not be as bright as a summer’s day. And yet despite the white-grey sky and the flurries in the air and the snow drifting about on the ground, the Jeweled Crozier sparkles like a gem. Lanterns glow above the vendors’ stalls, nailed to posts or strung on lines. Brightly coloured pennants flap in the air above the stalls, buffeted to and fro by the wind. Merchants call at passersby, welcoming new customers to browse their wears. A bard has set up several blocks down, playing the soaring notes of their violin to a rapt audience.

Though the crowd here is a mix of servants running errands for their employers, off-duty soldiers, on-duty Temple Knights, and unimportant scions of lesser noble houses, the Crozier is the common ground between lowborn and high. More Elezen than Hyur here, immediately noticeable given both he and Hilda are a good foot shorter than most passersby. All are welcome, no matter their station. It is a paradox, both frenetic and calm. Some stroll, others hurry, the great need to rush contrasted against the great need to slow down.

Is the ring still there, he wonders? Gods, why did he let her bring them in this direction. He would rather be anywhere else.

“Hilda,” he calls, hurrying after her.

She strides up the slope ahead of him, her long legs taking it at a robust pace. Her gaze darts from one stall to the next, but she never stops to take a closer look. She must know these vendors like the back of her hand—and there must be a reason why she has led him here of all places. “Aimless” and “Hilda Ware” do not go together.   

“Hilda—”

She glances over her shoulder, a cross look on her face. “What?” she replies, folding her arms. She’s made her stand in the middle of the street, obstructing the flow of traffic in both directions and drawing more than one annoyed look. “Isn’t it about time you turn around and fuck off? Halone smite me for wanting to do your sorry arse a favour.”

He sighs. “Look,” he says. “I apologize for my… abruptness. And general boorishness foolishness.”

“You apologizin’? In earnest?”

“Aye. You of all people do not deserve to receive my… well.” He shrugs. “I have been a fool in many ways. Your blunt honesty has only made that more apparent, and I’m sorry I did not take it well. You’re right.”

“In what way?”

“In every way.” He pauses, swallowing the lump in his throat. An itch scratches at the back of his mind, a fervent desire to walk straight past Hilda and to the pawn shop. “Particularly where Aureia is concerned.”

“She’s my friend.”

“I know.”

“One of the best I’ve had.”

“I know.” He meets her gaze. Raven hair and ruby eyes. “She and I would have called each other that, once upon a time.”

A disgruntled cough cracks through the air and he can feel the disapproving glare of an elderly noblewoman on him. Hilda must have seen it too, for she grabs him by the elbow and pulls him aside to the wall of a nearby building.  

“Listen,” she says under her breath, brushing her fringe out of her eyes. “I’m not here to tell you what to do. It’s breakin’ my mind that I am even here tryin’ to have this conversation. You called me disposable earlier on, and I was quite miffed about that and I thought—yeah, well, you’re just some dumb old sod who can’t keep it in his trousers.”

Old. He isn’t old by any stretch, but the remark stings more than a little. “A fair assessment, I won’t deny that. I should tell you about the time the call of drink was so strong the table appeared to be quite the lovely companion.”

“…don’t tell me you tried to tumble the table.”

“As friends would tell it, aye, that is something of the truth. I… do not recall that evening very well.” He can’t remember the details, but he does remember Moenbryda’s laughter. He should have known better than to have challenged her.

Knowing what came after, he’s glad he did. There will never be a night like that again.

Across the street, the bard finishes one number and begins another. A mournful, aching tune, dancing upon the wind.

“Tell me somethin’,” Hilda says after a moment. “That night in the Forgotten Knight… why did you come and talk with me?”

Thancred turns his head, his cheeks chafed in the bitter breeze. Gods, he could do with a scarf or two… “I was at the bottom of the bottle yet none too pleased about it,” he replies. “I was angry. Aureia and I… we had exchanged some sharp words earlier that day. Sharper than usual, you know how she can get. And I thought I could… I don’t know. Make amends, somehow. Or attempt to. So I went looking for her in the one place I knew she would be.”

“And you found me instead of her.”

“Aye. Needless to say, that plan did not go as intended.” He sucks in a breath. “If you’re concerned I only approached you because of her, put your mind at ease. Only a shallow-minded fool would take you for her, and vice versa. You’re clever, Hilda, and wise beyond your years. And perhaps the most honest soul I have ever met.”

She snorts. “Say,” she says, elbowing him in the side. Her eyes are twinkling. “I do think that’s the first time you’ve given me a genuine compliment—at least one that wasn’t about my tits or my arse or my—”

He groans, a strangled noise spluttering in his throat. It only makes her laugh more, and soon he is laughing too. She leans an arm against the wall and doubles over, her body shaking with another round every time she glances up and looks him in the eye. By rights it should not be this funny.  

When their laughter finally exhausts itself, a cold silence settles around them, as crisp and sharp as the chilled air. They stand side-by-side, slumped against the wall, shoulders knocking together, and watch the passersby. The snow falls more thickly now, coming down in large, soft flakes. The kind that sets the scene for many the Ishgardian romance.

But this is no romance.

“Do you regret it?” Thancred asks.

Hilda ruffles her ponytail, brushing snow off of it. “Nah,” she replies with a shrug. “Some of it I wouldn’t do again, if I’m honest. Or maybe I would under different circumstances. But I have some big damn regrets in my life, and I’m afraid you’re far out from making the list. Sorry. You’re too insignificant for that.”

He frowns. “I don’t need you to pity me, you know.”

“Good thing I don’t. And… you’re right about one thing, y’know. I’m not a good friend. I’m an awful one.”

“…I wouldn’t say that—”

“This ain’t about what you’re saying, this is about what I’m sayin’.” She folds her arms and turns to face him, a determined look in her eyes. “I’m bein’ selfish, continuing on like I have even after I promised her… Suppose it doesn’t matter. The point is, you’re not the only one being unfair to her.”

“What is between Aureia and me is not your responsibility.”

“No, but I certainly didn’t make things better, and I’ll admit that freely.”

They fall silent again. She shuffles her weight, sliding her boots back and forth in the slush. He can easily imagine her taking off at a lunge and sprinting through the market. And maybe she would, if something wasn’t tethering her to this wall. To him.

“Whatever it is between the two of you, I complicate it,” she murmurs after a moment. “And I don’t want that. To be complicated. For either of you—”

“There’s nothing between us,” he interrupts, ignoring the sharp pang in his chest. “She has made that very clear. The Lord Commander has captured her heart. What’s past is past.”  

“Say that all you want, I don’t believe you. I know some of the story, not all of it, and before you ask it’s not my place to tell you what she told me. I hold my friends’ confidence, I’m no gossip—”

“I wasn’t accusing you of that. Nor was I asking.”

“Right, well.” She blows out a puff of air, red flushing her cheeks. Perhaps it’s just the cold. “You still care for her. You should tell her so. So, why don’t you?”

He looks away, his eye catching a bright piece of tattered blue fabric as it dances on the breeze. A piece of a pennant, torn off by the wind. “Because she already knows.”

The blue scrap tosses and turns like a leaf, falling over and over as it sails over the crowd, tumbles by the stalls, swept off towards a horizon of noble manors, towering bridges, and the ever looming shadow of the Vault. He tracks it for as long as he can, until—

Her laughter is unmistakeable. As is the profile of the man at her side.

The way his heart both plummets and races tells him all he needs to know. Still, he cannot help but stare across the market as Aureia descends the stairs from the level above, her arm looped casually through the Lord Commander’s. Her raven hair has grown out some, save for the uncharacteristically delicate fringe that brushes across her forehead. The deep red ends remain missing—he cannot fathom why she insists on dyeing it now she has no need to keep her identity sequestered away. He isn’t sure what is more surprising—that she is here in Ishgard when she is supposed to be in Limsa Lominsa, or the elegant fur-trimmed gown she has squeezed herself into.

The again she has always proven to be remarkably adaptable. And from all appearances, she has adapted quickly and expertly to highborn society.

He bites his tongue. Aymeric de Borel is a good man. Too good of a man. Fiercely determined with unshakeable ideals and all the recklessness of a revolutionary, and yet he has the patience to play the long game. A solider who never loses sight of his compassion. A politician who wears his heart on his sleeve. Despite the envy he has felt for him at times, even he will begrudgingly admit that the man is a wonder to work with.

He and Aureia match each other well.

Hilda nudges him. “There’s some affair up at the Fortemps Manor,” she says matter-of-factly. “Count Edmont’s idea. The younger lordling told me so.”

“I… see.”

“Want to crash it?”

It wouldn’t be the first time. “No,” Thancred replies after a moment.

She smiles faintly. “You splittin' up from me?”

“Aye.” He meets her eyes. “I suppose I am.”

She pauses, watching him quietly for a time, a strange look on her face. Something akin to warmth. Fondness. Huh. And here he thought he didn’t matter much to her. And so it does not take him by surprise when she cups his face with her hand and leans in close, her fingers brushing his jaw in one final moment of bittersweet intimacy.

“Yeah. I am, too.” She kisses him chastely on the cheek. Then the gentleness breaks and she gives him a pat, grinning from ear to ear. “If you tell her a word of what I said, Waters, I will shoot you. That’s a promise.”

“Understood.”

With a wink and a nod, Hilda backs away into the road, gives him a jaunty little salute, and joins the flowing crowd. Her ponytail bobs, dark hair swinging back and forth as she marches on, growing distant, distant, distant, and then—gone. All the times he has watched her walk away, and this is the one where his heart pangs with a tender ache. He didn’t thank her before she went—should he have? She gave him a gift, knocking some sense into him the way she did. But when next they meet, they will be… strangers? Acquaintances? Two people looking for a fresh start, or perhaps none at all?

His days in Ishgard are limited. There’s a good chance he won’t be back once the Scions move on.

Thancred leans against the wall and arches his neck, turning his gaze to the sky. Though the grey clouds thicken, the stuttering light behind them implies a sun trying to break free. If they’re lucky, this freak storm will be over soon.   

“Thancred?”

Her voice washes over him, clear as a bell. He turns and finds her a pace away, ruby eyes looking him up and down. Snow settles about her head and shoulders, catching softly in her dark hair and clinging to her eyelashes. Judging from how warm and glowing she appears, she’s unbothered by the cold—though whether that has more to do with her natural control over ice-aspected aether or the Lord Commander’s massive wool cloak about her shoulders isn’t for him to say.

He flashes her a smile. “Fancy meeting you here,” he says.

Aureia’s expression falls. “I thought you were investigating the Gnath,” she murmurs.

“Aye, I was, and now I have other tasks before me. And what of you? Have you finished in Limsa Lominsa already?” Or did you leave the twins to take matters into their own hands? The Warriors of Darkness should not be their responsibility. He bites his tongue, reining in the words. It’s frightening how easily he falls back on provoking her, how readily he relishes in getting a rise out of her when he isn’t thinking.

It should not be this way. It was never this way before.

“Not yet, but I will be returning shortly. Alphinaud and Alisaie have found a promising lead.” She hesitates and sweeps a lock of loose hair out of her face. The tips of her ears are turning red with cold. “I have duties here, too. And, well—” A faint smile tugs at her lips and she glances over her shoulder, seeking out Aymeric. The Lord Commander is easily visible further down the market, head and shoulders above the rest as he speaks to the local jeweller. A much more prestigious vendor than the pawnbroker further down the road. “I suppose I have finally taken your advice to heart.”

“How so?”

“There is more to life than fighting, no matter your duty or your beliefs.”

A lump forms in his throat.

Aureia turns back. “Are you cold?” she asks gently. Her boots crunch in the snow as she takes a step towards him.

Thancred flinches and shuffles back, covering the movement by crossing his arms firmly over his chest. “I am well,” he says, shivering. It’s difficult to ignore the gooseflesh rising beneath his ragged shirt now she’s pointed it out. But he’s endured worse than a little cold. He will not let it bother him, not in front of her.

He has given her enough cause to worry about him in the past. He will not do so again, not even over something as insignificant as this.

She pauses. “I’m glad.”

Silence falls about them, as thick as snow.

Gods, when was the last time they had a discussion without arguing? Spoke without anger? Conversed without exhuming the multitude of grievances big and small, picking at open wounds that are still bleeding and old hurts that have long since scabbed over? There are some things that have been said that can never be taken back, but he still finds himself wishing for days long gone, when they could simply… talk.

He misses that.

Perhaps she does, too.

Aureia smiles tightly. “I must go,” she says. “Have a good day, Thancred. I mean that.”

She turns too quickly to see him raise a hand in farewell. Off she goes, not unlike Hilda before her, crossing the market with purpose. But instead of disappearing into the crowd, she returns to the Lord Commander, uncaring of who spots her or what gossip she may cause. She slips her arm through his, her expression brightening, and draws him to one side. They speak quietly together for a time, lost in one another and infected with joy. When he bends to kiss her, she rises up on tiptoe and wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her.

They are happy together. And, in a way, it is a relief that she has found that. He can think of no other who deserves happiness as much as she.

Thancred looks away, that familiar itch once again scratching at the back of his mind.

His boots slip in slush as he shoves off the wall, earning a yelp and a gasp from yet another disapproving noblewoman. He weaves in and out of the crowd, excusing himself more than once as he hurtles down the road. When he reaches the pawnbroker’s stall he is frightfully warm in the chilly air and embarrassingly out of breath.

“Can I… help you, sir?” the greying Elezen asks as he skids to a stop before him.

Thancred grips the edge of the counter, his boots sloshing in the trampled snow. “I wish to inquire about a ring I saw in your possession,” he says. “Quickly!”

The pawnbroker’s eyes narrow behind his spectacles. “I have many rings, sir. They are a commonality in a shop such as mine. You must needs be more specific.”

“Ah—ha…” Choked laughter bubbles across his lips and he shakes his head, sweeping hair out of his good eye. By the Twelve, he must look like a madman. “Of course. You are right, sir, my apologies. It is silver with a black gemstone at its heart. The Ul’dahn crest is engraved on the reverse, if you know where to look.”

“I have perhaps come across such a thing. I trust the item is of some importance to you?”

“Aye—well.” He shrugs. “Not to me, exactly. To a friend.”

“I see.”

“Do you have it? I saw it in your shop not a fortnight ago—”

“A moment.”

“Do you have it or not? It is of vital importance—”

“A moment!”

He shoves his cold hands deep in his pockets, biting his tongue before his urgency gets the better of him. The pawnbroker fusses about with his trays and his drawers, content to take his time as he searches his stall. The ring will not change anything; he can’t even place a finger on why it’s so important to retrieve it. Perhaps it’s for Aureia, perhaps it’s for himself, perhaps it’s for the last vestige of a time neither of them can return to.

“I have it, yes.” Something small and metal clinks against wood and the tension flees from his body. He stares, astonished, as the pawnbroker shoves a small tray across the counter to him. “Is this the item you requested?”

Thancred exhales a long breath. The ring is exactly as it was the last day he saw Aureia wear it.

“Bought it off a half-Elezen adventurer,” the pawnbroker drones on, detached. “Poor woman. Down on her luck. Came here hefting a rusted greatsword over half her size and desperate to sell every trinket she owned. Anything for the gil. Thought it strange how someone like her could end up with a gem like this and from Ul’dah no less, but I pride myself on knowing when to hold my tongue. Wonder what happened to her—”

“How much, sir?” Thancred interrupts.

The pawnbroker pushes his spectacles up his nose. “Fifteen thousand.”

“Done.”

The snow finally slows as Thancred winds his way back down to Foundation, seeking out his favourite haunts in the lower part of the city. The ring sits safely in the inner pocket of his shirt, pressing against the soft spot above his heart. The band is too small to fit his fingers comfortably; this will have to do for now.

He does not know what he intends to with it. To gift it to Aureia now would be… overstepping. Crossing some kind of boundary, no doubt. Most likely she has no attachment to it, given how easily she disposed of it upon her arrival in Ishgard. But the itch in his mind has been sated, and he would much rather know where it is than see it lost to time.

Minfilia called him sentimental more than once. Moenbryda, a fool.

They were both right.  

Raising his face to the sky, he takes in the cautious rays of a late afternoon sun as it breaks through the clouds and moves on.

[sugaredrhubarb]

In honour of her second book, Lancelot in November, coming out later this month, I want to talk about one of my favourite books of the last year and one of my favourite romances ever.

King of Cups 

By @woodswit / @phoebe-woods

available here

Hockey, love, tarot, mystery—this book is so up my alley that I was almost scared to read it. After putting it off for most of the fall, I finally dove in this winter while in the middle of a depressive slump. When I say this book made me laugh and cry, it feels almost diminishing—it made me feel, and anyone who experiences similar slumps of numbness knows what a feat that can be.

King of Cups follows Eloise, a mess of a private investigator, as she gets drawn into the world of the Boston Bruins and the world of Jacques Lavesque, a hockey star and a man finally cracking under the weight of perfection. If you don’t want to read me wax on about this book for ages, give it a look.  If you'll stick around, let me tell you why I love it.

Eloise & Jacques

“She was never comfortable at all – not in her own skin and not in anyone else’s. After all, underneath it all, there she was – a trespasser no matter where she went, an interloper who had never learned to root in any soil, a witch forever in exile.”

Oh, how I was so seen by Eloise. She is a little lost and a little lonely. She is awkward, and sometimes she’s accidentally cruel, but she is good, and she is learning. Sometimes, a character changes in a book simply because the author says so; that is not the case here. Eloise grows and evolves, and we get to see every step forward and backward and every bump along the way.

“Was this what it was like to be in Jaques’s head — to see the vulnerability in everyone, even when they were challenging, and have your heart broken for it?”

I have never related so much to a male character, even in all his big athletic manliness. Jacques is tired. He has given so much of himself to his team, to his family, to everyone but himself. He has so much love and so much anger, and they twist, grow, and burn bright within each other. The story of Jaques is just as compelling as the story of Eloise, and they amplify each other in every way. 

“He was in love with the world and at times in love with every single person in it.”

Hockey 

“She was thinking of church again as she heard the announcer yell, “...BOSTON BRUINS!”  Or maybe not church — maybe something older, something rooted in pagan ritual and wolf-gods and dented armour.”

So yes, this is a hockey story, but you don’t need to be a hockey fan to enjoy it. For those of us who are, however, and have been burnt by hockey books before, this is what we’ve been looking for. The author is a hockey fan, and it shows in how she examines the fanaticism of sports culture, the paradox between the inherent violence of hockey with the perfect family man image it demands, and the bigotry endemic to the whole thing. None of it feels forced; all of it feels real, and you can tell it’s done by someone who both loves the sport and sees its flaws.

Everybody else

“[...] at the end of the day all that matters to me is how I loved other people.”

Every character in this book is a whole person. No side character is there just to serve a purpose, even only for a scene. From the other players on the team to Eloise’s family to the big “villains” and the side conflict starters, every single one has wants and needs and flaws, and I fell a little in love with them all. You will relate to them, you will feel for them, you will love them too.

Love

“Love was the Wheel of Fortune, cyclical and never static.”

The word love has already appeared 11 times in this post (12 now) and is circled frequently in my copy of the book. This is a romance (as I usually talk about very smutty things, I would be remiss not to mention that this is not that), and the love built between our main characters is so strong, even when it is scared or angry. Eloise and Jacques are magnetic to each other and the reader, and every moment they are in each other’s vicinity feels charged and electric. But romantic love is not what makes this book special. Love is woven through every aspect of the story, and it is the familial love, the platonic love, that shines brightest. Love is hard; sometimes love ends, sometimes it refuses to, and sometimes it is new and barges its way in when you least expect or want it. This book depicts it all beautifully.

I don’t even know how to fit in here just how well it’s written. The world is detailed and real. The characters are relatable and full. The mystery is gripping and engrossing. I could talk about the dialogue for ages. It is so incredibly human, funny and aching and awkward and revealing. 

If you read this book, you will want to treat the world as kindly, empathetically, and lovingly as the author treats her story. 

The author is a mutual of mine on here so I do want to say thank you to her for giving the world such a special piece of work, I’m so looking forward to reading the next addition.

And thank you anna ( @winterrose527 ) for putting it in my path in the first place.

[t0ast-ghost]

S2 Episode 8 (I, Mudd) Garfield guess who’s here? Please tell me it’s not Mudd. It’s Mudd.

Commence:

- Why are him and Spock just walking the halls together. If I was the crew I’d be going livid, like get this: there’s these two men who are head of the science and medical staff on the ship and they fucking hate each other, they fight all over the ship constantly and you’ve seen them at odds a gazillion times. One day you’re walking the halls to get to your station and you just see them walking together, talking normally, and one of them is even smiling in a sort of fond way. My jaw would drop honestly

- They’re already fighting.. it took less than 30 seconds

- This guy’s on a mission! I wonder who he could be?

- “Mr. Spock we seem to be taking an unscheduled ride” “Interesting.” Spock does not give a fuck about your dramatics, Kirk

- Spock looks at the guy who stops Kirk and just thinks “fuck, McCoy was right.”

- LMAO the electronics in him look like smt from doctor who

- I love Uhura and Chekov almost bumping into the android

- oh god this guy again (Mudd)

- “Jamie boy.” That- that barely even makes sense

- Kirk what is that stance

- “And you’re all going to be here, uh, quite probably for the rest of your lives. *evil laugh*”Spock and McCoy are unconcerned

- Okay I think McCoy is just lording it over Spock that he was right

- Okay there’s a certain joviality that I appreciate to the back and forth of Mudd explaining and Kirk, McCoy, and Spock all interrupting

- this is the greatest line in all of Star Trek

- Kirk: Well, opinions?

Chekov: I think we’re in a lot of trouble

Kirk: That’s a great help, Mr. Chekov. Bones?

McCoy: Well, I think Mr. Chekov’s right. We are in a lot of trouble

Kirk: Spock? And if you say we’re in a lot of trouble…

Spock: We are.

Kirk then gets the most defeated look on his face

- Scotty coming in hot and cursing out Mudd

- CHEKOV DONT FUCK THE ANDROIDS

- Kirk is like an angry small dog

- “No, lord Mudd.” “Wuuut??” Good line delivery

- “How do you know so much?” “I asked them.” “Oh.” Wait wait wait, this is simple deduction. Deduction? Sherlock. Holmes and Watso? MCCOY AND SPOCK AS HOLMES AND WATSON!!! Oh wait Data and Geordi did that..

- “Now listen, Spock, you may be a wonderful science officer, but believe me you couldn’t sell fake patents to your mother!” “I fail to understand why I should care to induce my mother to purchase falsified patents.” I love this man

- The name is doctor practice. Mal practice.

- uhura no! WAIT UHURA YES IM SO PROUD. I love how happy they all are

- hi hello what the fuck is happening. What are they celebrating. How did Kirk convince McCoy and Scotty to do that?

- The androids flirting with Spock. Kirk and the rest have to dance whereas Spock is just causing drama “I love you. But I hate you.” “But we’re identical.” *blows up*

- They’re gonna paradox Norman

- WJAT

- Them imitating phasers takes the cake. I think if I ever show anyone an example episode it would be this one

- “he’s dead.” Damn no Jim. Second time Scotty’s ‘died’ this season

- This is like watching Shakespeare

- I would not be surprised if this episode was inspired by children playing make believe (honestly really genius and fun writing)

- Oooh they’re paradoxing him

- “I aM nOt prOgrAmMeD to reSpoNd in thAt aRea.” The fucking sass. Kirk has been spending too much time with Spock and Bones

- “Which I find eminently satisfactory, Doctor, for nowhere, am I so desperately needed as among a shipload of illogical humans.” Basically Spock loves them and there’s nowhere he’d rather be

- Kirk hates Mudd so much, it’s almost bitchy at this point

- Uhura’s wave to Mudd is so iconic and amazing

Okay one of my favourite episodes, if not my favourite actually. I loved more of the bridge crew interaction (no sulu☹️) especially getting to see Uhura, like I wanna talk more about her character but there’s so little that I’m just trying to pick up the crumbs.

Masterpost

Episode written by Stephen Kandel

[blazethecheeto]

ATLAS PARADOX RAMBLING

dude this book. i need to talk. about it. im going insane.

everyone who hasn't read it, PLEASE DO!!! it's a dark academia book about a bunch of gay silly magic people that join a society and try to kill each other. there's time travel, a big ass polycule, aesthetic scenes, the prettiest writing style in the world, science, philosophy, and fucked family. (opposite of found family).

(extremely chaotic unorganized long rant below, with spoilers. click at your own risk)

FIRST OF ALL WHY WAS THIS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE FIRST ONE?!!?!?

i had to power through the first one, it felt long, and unnecessary and like trekking through a JUNGLE with the thickest and most intricate ecosystem that i had to peel back and unravel for hours and hours. only to like move the plot by an inch.

BUT THIS. olivie blake found her footing because this was so good. i am aware the reviews hate on this book and some people don't like it, but personally i adore it and it's really well written.

CHARACTERS

bro they all had such wonderful voices, like they were distinct and unique from each other but not drastically, noticeably different I NEED TO LEARN FROM THIS. six of crows and the atlas six do multi povs so well <3 its like this book was made for me, each character was perfect and incredible and gay and silly and-

reina. love of my life. i look forward to all her povs because the plants are so silly and she's the best character. i said it. she's canon asexual now too YEES. i needed more of her because she was barely in the first one, and they DELIVERED. the juicy plot with her 'god complex' (ily callum) and her feelings getting hurt and learning she actually is lonely and wants friends? she's so wanda maximoff. next book better have her opening up and learning to love people or i riot (and also her killing people and being the badass she is)

parisa always my fave too, i do wish her character wasn't always talking about sex or romance, there were some great moments in this book where she showed off her telepathy powers (the prince in the tower!!) it was awesome. i'm glad they acknowledged that side of her with reina, (oh my god i ship them so much wait till i rant about them-) but dude i still HATE DALTON. SO MUCH. OH MY GOD. every time it's her pov i dread seeing dalton, i wish she could give that up. generic white men should die.

CALLUM. whatever turned him from complex, daunting, and a psychopath last book to janus from sanders sides this book- beautiful choice. he's literally the one sassy wine-sipping gay aunt that feels nothing and everything at once, also extremely mentally ill and depressed. he's SO FUNNY. his povs are fucking hilarious to read, and he quickly became one of my faves bc of how complex he is. i'm not smart enough to decipher and psychoanalyze him but god i LOVE CHARACTERS LIKE THIS.

i don't know what happened but nico is literally one of my faves now too, he's so silly and sweet and kind and i loved his relationships with everyone this book. like him trying to murder tristan in multiple different ways oml. he's my bbg. tristan was hit or miss for me, i did find him interesting but he's not my favourite. doesn't mean i hate him, he's so very british, i feel it radiating off the page. libby my queen my icon, her dream povs were so trippy i loved it- so so realistic to a real dream, that was the most surprising and unique part. also my bisexual queen seducing belen??

i did not like ezra and atlas was a little iffy here and there but tbh the cast was so well rounded and interesting and unique but paralleled each other so well?? THE RELATIONSHIPS. I DONT THINK ANY BOOK HAS THIS INTRICATE WEB-LIKE RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER. they're one big polycule.

RELATIONSHIPS

nico and libby <3 i love them so much as siblings/queerplatonic partners. i don't ship them romantically, because i LOVE how they subverted the eye-rolling predictable ' YA academic rivals enemies to lovers' trope. when i started TAS, i immediately thought they were gonna get together and assumed the worst. but no, they still had the banter and importance in their relationship but without the romance? instead both of them were gay af. it's beautiful. i love subverting tropes so much. they're each other's 'other half' and they're hilarious together.

NICO AND TRISTAN. they were such a highlight this book, it was unexpected but so funny. nico trying to murder tristan and their little talks because 'they're not friends...just coworkers' yeah right, the best friendships start with creatively murdering each other. tristan being droll and chill af, and then nico bouncing off the walls my adhd king.

reina and nico broke me?? like that one chapter where they sparred and caught up with each other and reina was guarding her hurt feelings. DUDE THAT KILLED ME. made me stare at the ceiling for a good minute. their friendship is everything to me, they contrast each other so well. she deserves to be treated better- when they had that projection chapter and she saw that nico downplayed her skills...like she was good, but not good enough for him to care about her. AGGHGH.

REINA AND PARISA. NOW THIS. THIS HOOKED ME INTO THE BOOK. i ship them so bad guys. they parallel each other and are both hot and enemies to lovers and wlw slow burn and- look. reina is asexual, therefore the only person to truly see and understand parisa for who she is, and not be influenced by her body. like that one projection. she can help parisa understand HERSELF and who she is past her sexual desirability. how to love someone again. romantically. then, on the flip side, parisa can help reina see and understand OTHERS. reina only sees people as one trait, cut and dry- without any of the complex feelings. parisa is a telepath, she knows how to read others. THEY CAN BOTH HELP EACH OTHER AND LOVE EACH OTHER IN WAYS THEY NEVER COULD HAVE OMFDADJFLSKJADFL- also reina pinned her against a wall and they want to kill each other and every time they interact i scream into my pillow-

-

'You can't love anyone right?"

"I've met very few people worth loving."

-

*throws myself off a building*

now we just gotta play the familiar game "IS IT DELUSION OR IS IT JUST SLOW BURN" and find out whether their insane chemistry pays off in book 3.

the nico parisa scene was actually sweet ngl, even though i don't ship them. the whole callum and tristan thing was so bitter exes situationship coded and i ate every second up. especially that last conversation. AND OFC. GIDEON AND NICO?!!! AAAAA THEY WERE SO CUTE THEY'RE ENDGAME I SCREAMED WHEN THEY KISSED DUDE THEYRE SO-

PLOT

now for the actual plot. this book has so many interesting subjects and philosophies and debates i'm not smart enough for this. but past all the aesthetic glamour, it's science, time travel, dreams, multiverses, fate, reality, and the complexities of the human mind. and my god it's fascinating as fuck.

do i have any idea what they do in this society?? NO. am i entertained? YES. especially that whole explosion paradox to bring libby back to the future. the whole powering the connections via aurora borealis? the whole debate about being gods? i love it. i love it.

alright im so sorry for that rant, i gotta go now but DUDE I LOVE THIS BOOK NO MATTER HOW WEIRD IT WAS

[literally-just-there]

Hi Gate! ♡ I have. A question. What's Seeker and your f/os' favorite classic paintings? Or statues etc! 👀🎨🖼

OOOOOHOOHOHOHO KUROH YOU ASKED FOR THIS *cracks knuckles*

(Putting this under a cut... Not doing just classic... No I did not do every f/o or I would still be here in a week. I just did paintings because that's what I'm more knowledgeable about)

🖌 • For Seeker :

She looks a lot at the eyes and facial expressions, and loves a good romantic scene like the pre-raphaelites do. We got "La Belle Dame Sans Merci" by Frank Dicksee, and "The Shadow" by Edmund Blair Leighton for example.

Strangely enough, she is also captivated by paintings that can be considered haunting, I'm thinking of John Martin's works that depict biblical, historical and other legendary apocalypses. She does not enjoy them per say, but she is captivated, especially since she is not religious but is herself a legendary being. I'm thinking of "The Destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah" and the triptych of "The Last Judgement".

She also likes "Christ in the House of His Parents" by Millais because it humanizes what is usually seen as only divine and otherworldly, and she relates to this paradox of being some kind of human god (I suggest reading the critics on the painting at the time).

🖌 • For the Informant :

Keywords are emotion and interactions. He loves when the painting displays interactions and especially love, whatever the kind. I have quite miscellaneous painting ideas for him ;

Leonardo Da Vinci's "The Virgin and Child with Saint Anne", Karl Gussow's "Old Man's Treasure", but also the more tragic "Tristan and Isolde" paintings by Rogelio de Egusquiza, "Romeo and Juliet" by Millais, or "The Meeting on the Turret Stairs" by Frederic William Burton.

🖌 • For Helen :

She loves paintings with soft vibes and that depict nature. I'm thinking of Rosa Bonheur as I type this. I love the cows she paints. Also pretty paintings like those of Sophie Gengembre Anderson, "The Turtle Dove", "It's Touch and Go to Laugh or No", "Little Helper", "Her Favourite Pets" or "A Fairy Is Made Of Most Beautiful Things" which is one of my favourites too.

🖌 • For Smallcat :

He does look like someone who would like grandiose official portraits. However he is more of a landscape type of guy. He paints some himself actually !! For me Monet is the absolute best, I'm of course thinking about his Nymphéas. And Pissarro !! Pissarro's landscapes !! Can we talk about "Le Grand noyer dans le pré, Éragny" ??!! Pretty !?!?!

🖌 • For Delacroix :

That arse head on the other hand LOVES a good lavish official portrait. It does make sense because he is a noble but also : the more gold, more jewels, more expensive fabric, more symbols of power displayed, the more he is eating this up like his eye dinner. I am thinking of Louis XIV by Hyacinthe Rigaud or Napoléon Ist by François Gérard, the good old coronation portraits.

🖌 • For Anna :

Most of all she wants to have something to say about the art piece. It has to make her THINK. So she prefers paintings that have intense facial expressions, and / or that tell a story that makes you THINK. I'm thinking of paintings about societal struggles, like "Burning the Brushwood" by Eero Järnefelt, or paintings that are sticking their chin at institutions, like Frank Cadogan Cowper's "Lucretia Borgia Reigns in the Vatican in the Absence of Pope Alexander VI" including more tragic ones like "The Martyr of Solway" by Millais.

But she is also a romantic at heart and appreciates paintings that display romantic interactions. There are the ones I mentioned for Seeker but I would add "God Speed" by Edmund Blair Leighton.

🖌 • For Wei :

MARINES. Anything that has to do with the sea. One name, Monet, again, yes, BUT !! The paintings he did when he was in Belle-Ile-en-mer !! The Port Coton ones !! He did so many !! And Turner !! Depicting the immensity of the sea !!

He would also love Chinese paintings, since this is what he grew up with. I am sadly not knowledgeable about this yet so I can't really go into details.

🖌 • For Hoggarth :

History is the key word, he prefers paintings that interpret historical events, that imagine the people's emotions at the time, especially when it is grave events. I'm thinking of "The Last Day of Pompeii" by Karl Bryullov or "Faithful Unto Death" by Edward John Poynter. Also "The Execution of Lady Jane Grey" by Paul Delaroche or "A Huguenot" by Millais.

Also, paintings that represent people feeling small before the higher powers they believe in, like "The Two Crowns" by Dicksee, or being powerless before them, like "The Ballad of Lenore" by Horace Vernet.

[erenfox]

Y'all.

Episode 4.

It's the best piece of work Marvel has made after they made IW and Endgame.

spoiler alert 🚨

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lemme start off with our favourite Miss Jolly Rancher Unhinged Clock and Victorian-Era HWR Fangirl. I KNEW Ravonna had somehow helped HWR in building the TVA, but him erasing her memories was straight up evil.

Then we come to the absolutely gruesome deaths of Dox and the others. HOLY SHIT MISS JOLLY RANCHER IS AWFUL like she was enjoying every second of Dox and her hunters literally getting crushed to their deaths. B-15 was traumatised, to say the least and you can see on Ravonna and Brad's faces a hint of disgust. But Miss Minutes grinning like that - outright disturbing.

I can't get over OB and Victor fanboying over each other's work - it was so funny yet wholesome.

Now let's talk about Loki and Sylvie. As a diehard Sylki stan you know I am, my fangirling heart was overjoyed seeing these two lovesick ducks working together willingly! I mean, yea, they did have that rather awkward talk in Pie Land (mind you that's it's official name henceforth) but after that they worked together as teammates! Now I must say, I completely agree with Sylvie on snapping on Mobius, because, well, yeah, the multiverse is a bigger priority than pie and I legit don't get why tf antis hate on Sylvie for doing so. Like you hated her for not giving a damn abt the TVA + the multiverse, but now when she stood up to do so y'all are hating on her again?? Like?? Make up ur mind, smh.

Anyways, back to Sylki. Sylvie got stuck in the elevator and the way she and Loki worriedly called out each other's names was so soft! And the "You ok?" trope CAME BACK OMG! THAT PHRASE IS LITERALLY THE BACKBONE OF SYLKI! When I tell you my fangirling heart screamed with joy omg-

The the whole paradox scene which brought Ep 1 back in a circle. I absolutely loved the way our Loki realised what he had to do and went real slow to prune his past self just so that Past Loki could get a glimpse of Sylvie; which would then lead him to be more determined than ever to go look for her. And I quite literally died on Sylvie being confused af as to wtf she just witnessed.

Then there's the telephone scene. OH MY GOD it was literally OB all this time when fans were out here speculating it was Kang or someone lmao. Both Loki and Sylvie yelling simultaneously to turn the security thing off gives out so much Couple Vibes, I absolutely loved it AAHHAHAH-

AND. THE. BRAD. SCENE. OOF.

our friendly neighbourhood lovesick ducks teaming up to enchant Brad was just too good. Loki in his hot, creepy voice luring Brad into a dark area while Sylvie very swiftly just straight up grabbing his face from the back - pure horror. Absolutely loved it, 10/10. Tho I must say, to do execute elaborate scheme, these two must have done some detailed planning (=more Sylki moments we were robbed off).

BUT THAT ENDING DUCKING MURDERED ME BROO OMG

Can we talk abt Victor's redemption? Man had been portrayed as evil since Quantumania, and has been manipulated by both Ravonna and Miss Jolly Rancher, but at the end of the day, he was a sweetheart. Man fanboys OB and basically became besties with him and Casey, worked together to create the solution to a mess he most certainly didn't want to be a part of, and then himself stepped up to fix the Loom once and for all to prove to everyone (and not let Sylvie's choice of sparing him go to waste) that tho he contained HWR's DNA, he wasn't HWR - he was a far better person HWR could have ever been. Seeing him getting spaghettified was tragically heart-wrenching, man deserved so much better :(

BUT HOLY SHIT DID THAT ONE HECK OF A GODDAMN CLIFFHANGER LEFT ME SPEECHLESS LIKE WTF WAS THAT?? U can't just kill off a character who had redeemed himself, and then make our main character and his homies watch literally EVERYTHING THEY WORKED SO HARD FOR GET ANNIHILATED TO THE GROUND-

But we know our God of Mischief isn't dead, and so are his homies eheheh.

However the looks on everyone's face was tragic. Loki knew all was lost and had tears in his eyes. Sylvie looked like she had accepted defeat and her death. Mobius and OB were in denial, refusing to believe that Victor was dead. Casey and B-15 looked horrified, as they realised what was to come now upon them.

Tldr, this episode was an ABSOLUTE BANGER. IM READY TO CLAIM IT SUPERIOR THAN ENDGAME, come and fight me. Its a top cinematic piece, and the suspense to Ep 5 is eating me up.

Ig i should go and study for the 4 tests this week before ep 5 ;-;

[orange-enjoyer]

32 days until restoration (holds out my tiny microphone) thoughts?

Scared <3

They have Burnie back so I'm hoping that they'll get the characterisation right and the gang won't act wildly different (looking at you zero tucker and wash) but the whole concept just. Doesn't sit right with me?

They ended the show three times already, in seasons 10, 13 and 17. S10 has a nice ending, I think they could have easily wrapped it up there and left it (freelancer saga my beloved <3) but I'll admit the s13 ending is Amazing and leaves the show on a really bittersweet but high note. It has made me cry every time I've watched it and it's just a really good send off.

Then the blues and reds were a fun little side story but I feel like it kinda shits on the s13 ending (hell, the whole plot is baiting everyone with church being alive). They gave the characters a proper send off with s13 but then had a fun idea for a side story, and it's a pretty solid story with some of my favourite moments in the show so fine, a fun little adventure after the events of the main story.

Then the shizno paradox happened and. I like Huggins! I think donut finally got his well deserved arc and (speaking from the perspective of someone who does not have brain damage or memory issues or anything even close to what happened to wash so take my opinion with a heap of salt) I think they handled wash's brain injury with a surprising amount of care and respect for the haha goofy web series. Also caboose and Carolina in the shizno trilogy? I love them so so much caboose I would kill for you.

But it does feel like a punch in the face of season 13's ending. Especially with how ridiculous it gets at points (putting aside the "god"-killing golf-club they did tucker and sister SO dirty)

From what I can tell, most fans seem to agree that s13 was the proper ending for rvb, so I can understand why Burnie would want to go back to that and try to recreate that, and send the show off with a bang, but at a certain point it's just beating a dead horse? Plus they've already shown that they don't particularly care about respecting the show's roots and one of the reasons it got so popular like not rehiring Trocadero :((

I'm also worried that it may have been made in an attempt to start up the series again which means that we might have some random plot threads that either lead nowhere or get resolved Super quickly because rt got shutdown partway through production :(

Then again, I really hope I'll be proven wrong! I hope they give the cast a proper send-off and end rvb on a high note! I'm just very cautiously optimistic because I'll be honest shizno paradox and zero (and RT just being a horrible company in general and treating their employees like shit) left a rather sour taste in my mouth.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed but I'm not holding my breath ya know?

[distort1xn]

so, when i was still a little distort1xn and at uni, my favourite subject ever was philosophy. it’s why i’m SUCH a proponent for logical thinking and reasoning. now, one of the electives in this class was philosophy of religion, i.e. proving the existence of god (the judaeo-christian iteration of god). the lecturer for this elective was pretty old and not very engaging and loved getting into heated debates that he started himself with students who knew less than him and therefore weren’t his intellectual equals. he’s not the point of this post, but i mention him because he would never give us clear instructions for his assignments and so we often had to do tons of work for very simple essays that could’ve just been written based on our coursework, had he been a better lecturer.

the point is, one day we got an assignment that led me into the depths of our campus library (aside: the library is MASSIVE, multi-levelled – and completely underground; the dark academia bitches go crazy) to do some reading. during this reading, i came across a very interesting paradox that i’ve been thinking about ever since, but i couldn’t remember who posited it, and so haven’t been able to look it back up. now, in one of the episodes of this true story podcast i’m listening to (we’re all insane with devorah), the storyteller talks about leaving the church, and what had convinced her to do that was the epicurean paradox – the very paradox that’s been haunting me for years! adding a screenshot of the gist of the paradox, but don’t worry. i won’t make anyone learn ‘philosophy speak’ (fancy fucking english for zero (0) reason whatsoever). i’ll ‘translate’.

simplification:

if god has unlimited power (omnipotence – ‘all-powerful’), then he must know about all the evil and suffering in the world (omniscience – ‘all-knowing’). being all-powerful must then mean he has the power to change/stop all the evil and suffering. so, why doesn’t he? since he doesn’t, he can’t be as good as christianity paints him to be (omnibenevolent – ‘all-good/-loving’; one of the main positions in christianity is ‘god is love’ to mean god loves his entire creation and he is a universally accepted force of pure goodness and love). conclusion: god cannot be omnibenevolent.

if god is omnipotent and omnibenevolent, then he has the power and goodness to stop and desire to stop all evil and suffering. if he doesn’t, then he doesn’t see all the evil (i.e. he’s not omniscient, which makes him somewhat evil himself if he can find justifications for why certain clearly painful and awful acts don’t ‘count’ as evil and therefore aren’t meant to be stopped).

if god is omniscient and omnibenevolent, he knows about all the evil and suffering in the world and wants to stop it, but since evil still exists, he obviously can’t stop it, so he can’t be omnipotent.

this breaks down literally the entire doctrine of christian belief. christians believe in an all-powerful, all-seeing, all-loving god. but since that god cannot logically exist, christians literally believe in a fantasy.

all of this to say, i don’t reject religion and christianity out of hand. i see it in a psychological sense. we all have our comfort things, our crutches – beliefs and rituals that make us feel safe. i see religion as one of these. which means people murdering, massacring and damning others in its name are not good people, and not just because all of those actions themselves are reprehensible, but because religion isn’t a personal comfort to them. it’s a weapon – and, i feel we can all agree, weapons should only ever be used in DEfence, not OFfence.

this has been philosophy hour with distort1xn. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[aria0fgold]

FELLOW CAIOWE ENTHUSIAST HELLO

God, finding any mhyk fans on tumblr is so rare. I can never go to twitter though, because twitter won't allow me to write a whole textblock about my wizards yknow.

Anyways, what are your favorite caiowe moments (0u0)

OHMYGOD! FELLOW CAIOWE FAN IN TUMBLR?! :O Fr though, we mhyk fans here are so rare and twitter posts function cannot contain the multitude of thoughts I have.

I have A LOOOT of favourite caiowe moments, caiowe fuels my brain.

Most and biggest favourite caiowe moment: Chapter 17 and 18 of ms1.5 aka anni1. It's sooooo good to me, the establishment of the pairing, the horror and realization of Owen that Cain was Dying and he didn't even wanted that in that moment. Owen calling Cain's name for the first time and not "Sir Knight"? Owen KNEELING DOWN beside him and PRAYING?!?! Love it, I love that moment so much. Of course, I cannot forget about Cain, in his dying moments during then, ASSURED Owen that it wasn't his fault. Like ohgod... You're dying my guy and you're assuring the one that attacked you?! Oh. OH! You are sooo insane for that. And with that moment, of course I gotta hold the moment during Chapter 26 near and dear to my heart too. Cain, recovering from a near death experience meeting Owen and without missing a beat, invites him out to lunch. OUOUUUOGHHGG I looove ms1.5 for that.

Everything that Paradox Roid had going for itself. That AU is caiowe collection worthy, every moment that those two were together makes me soooo giddy and happy and it's so insane for that. My favourite AU of all time, especially the moments during Chapter 5 with Cain, Akira, and Owen flying by the ice cream truck, Cain with that sweet lil speech and Owen saying "Hello, world" ououuoghhghg my heart during then... Of course what solidified this AU for being my favourite of all is Cain going through INSANE LENGTHS to get Owen back JUST to fulfill his promise to him of buying him the icecream, AND the moment when Owen's memory was all but practically wiped BUT! he still remembers... Cain's words... HE STILL REMEMBERS! Like oooohhhh my god. That's insane. To still remember Nearly the exact words a guy you've only met recently despite your memory being deleted? Insanity. I love it.

EVERYTHING! From the event: Sun-Radiant Blade. That's my favourite event of all time from the canon universe, it has sooo many caiowe moments it was amazing. Owen attending the knight event and everyone being on high guard but Cain reassures them? OWEN GETTING BLAMED FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN'T DO AND CAIN DEFENDING HIM?!?!! Owen being the only one to believe in Cain that he CAN win against the young knight being controlled by a sword and that Oz doesn't need to kill the poor kid, that NO ONE gets to kill the poor kid and only Cain can do that. Owen grabbing Cain's face especially and going "my magic wielding Sir Knight" OH YOU ARE UNBEARABLE OWEN.

Not really part of the game, but the animage magazine article of em makes me just as insane. It's THE CAIOWE magazine of all time, I'll forever be Normal (lying) about Cain's quote: "Come battle, I would become your shield, and I would die for you." LIKE!!! MY GUUUUYYY?!?!!?!!? Most normal thing to say towards anyone at all. I hate him (affectionately).

The event: Prelude to the Festival and Justice has a singular caiowe moment in the form of Owen's eyeball protecting Cain and I'm sooooooo not over that moment yet actually. Owen wasn't even THERE, but Owen protected Cain via the eyeball he forcefully swapped between em like gooooooodddd.

ANNI 2 MOMENT! CAIOWE ANNI 2! That moment with Cain and Owen lowkey arguing with one another lives in my head rent free and then by the ending parts with Owen flying off all alone and CAIN LOOKING UP AT HIM and going "I have to get stronger" just to be able to justify him worrying for him like oh! OH MYGOD!

That one moment during the event: Awakening the Legendary Chalk Castle where Cain SENSED Owen nearby and proceeded to DESTROY THE FLOOR to obtain a shortcut to get to where he was sensing Owen at, very Normal behaviour there Cain. I love him.

Everything bout that one tl with like a stageplay? a stage reading I think? I can't remember but that tl of some parts (mostly caiowe, oh i love it so much) of it and and Owen getting Cain drunk via magic and Cain was boutta START STRIPPING and Snow panicked and immediately got rid of the spell and Owen going "But it was just getting to the good part" LIKE!?!?!?!!? Thinking bout that moment again makes me lose it sooo badly like my guy wdym. WDYM OWEN OHMYGOD OWEN

The newest Alterego AU event is also taking up so much of my brain rn, mafia au, Cain with the northies/former northies, OWEN'S OTHER EYE CHANGING COLOUR TO BE GOLD CUZ OF CAIN, like ya can't just make that up, my guy Owen saw the prettiest gold during his dying moments and the world said "You'll get to have that too" and now he has heterochromia as well, and never mind the fact that Owen gained his during this event, but Cain was BORN WITH IT, he was born with a heterochromia that was forcefully put on him during canon universe, he was born with the Owen red eye in this universe and the implications of that is kinda insane actually (<-most likely reading too into the au with my caiowe glasses). Cuz like! Imagine this, you in your past life had two golden eyes but Some Guy, forcefully swapped eyes with you and then in another life, your born with heterochromia as a result of Some Guy from a previous life and now your born with it, like a mark. Of a wedding-- It's the caiowe version of the red string of fate, I'm convinced with that.

[roseposts-stuff]

hello folks!!! it is time for doctor who series 9 rankings!!!

1. Heaven Sent (9x11) - peak. fucking. doctor who. one of my (and many other's) favourite episodes of ALL TIME and for a REASON!!!! it's so clever and well written and well acted and it's visually GORGEOUS like!!! peter capaldi is so good and i firmly believe he's the only actor who could've pulled this off, basically a 50 minute monologue come on man!!! i wish i could watch it for the first time again it's brilliant

2. Face the Raven (9x10) - SO GOOD!!! i love rigsy and i'm so glad he came back haha. clara's death is actually so heartbreaking and SJSJSJ the conversation between her and the doctor omg THE WAY SHE USES HER LAST MOMENTS TO MAKE SURE HE WON'T SEEK REVENGE OR ANYTHING OMG i love that!!! and it's also like visually so so so beautiful like visuals are a big part of how much i enjoy an episode as you might have noticed if you've seen my rankings before, like honestly i don't care too much about if the cgi is good or not etc. but them colours and lights and stuff need to be right!!!!!

3. Under the Lake/Before the Flood (9x3/9x4) - this is, again, SO good, i LOVE timey wimeyness doctor who should do WAY MORE timey wimeyness like you're a time travel show, USE IT!!!! i like the side characters and the beginning of before the flood with 12 explaining bootstrap paradox to the audience is so great and THE FADE FROM 12'S GUITAR TO THE THEME!!! it makes me so happy

4. Hell Bent (9x12) - is it a perfect episode? no. but i think it gets SO MUCH undeserved hate. i love love love clara in this, and the scene where her or the doctor have to forget everything is so good imo. i'm really interested in gallifrey and i haven't seen much of classic who yet so i take every scene in new who very gratefully and with great interest. i THINK people criticise the episode for having 12 suddenly be so ready to kill and stuff, and in any other episode i'd agree, but after heaven sent and the way his and clara's relationship is so codependent and toxic, it makes complete sense in my opinion. i loved when the doctor and me met at the end of the universe it was interesting imo, and i LOVEEEE that clara and me's TARDIS is the same one 11, river and the ponds were in series 6!!! and i like the way first you think clara has forgotten stuff but then you find out it's 12 who did (idk if it was obvious to everyone else but me, you can fool me so so so easily it's not even funny i believe almost anything the plot wants me to believe. which probably greatly affects the fact that i can enjoy doctor who so easily.) yeah i really really enjoy this episode

5. Last Christmas (9x0) - honestly why don't people talk about this episode more?? like it's SO interesting and just a bit scary, i love love love the idea of dreams inside dreams, like i don't really have complaints about this episode tbh it's really great and has a fascinating concept

6. The Husbands of River Song (9x0) - this is peak comedy i was laughing half of the duration of the episode probably, i love river obviously, and i liked her and 12 together. gotta love nardole as well lmao. i don't have much to say except SLAY socialist 12 and this is so funny like 80% of the run time, which is how a christmas special should be

7. The Girl Who Died (9x5) - i like this one!! 12 acting like he's a norse god and then the guy appearing in the sky and 12 tries to impress everyone with a yoyo was absolutely hilarious to me, that's peak humour in my mind. me was a bit annoying in this one can't lie like this is my least favourite me appearance, because HOW was she so stupid like girl i know those random guys you live with would've started fighting without a second thought but you're so much cleverer than them come on, but whatever, i forgive her i did care about her in the end. i loved the 12th doctor realising why he chose the face like YASSS GIRL!!!! and them making the video was so funny and random i ADORE 12 and clara in this, and i love the theme of immortality it's very interesting and i love when it's explored in doctor who

8. The Zygon Invasion/The Zygon Inversion (9x7/9x8) - i think it's. good. i love clara controlling the zygon it was sooo interesting and the sort of space she's in felt so weird and interesting i loved it, and obviously the doctor's speech is fantastic and peter capaldi delivers it perfectly. however, i do think it's not that well paced or something, like sometimes it feels really slow and sometimes everything is happening at once, and basically reasons to watch it would be 12's speech and jenna coleman. i did like osgood as well tho and obviously i'm the biggest kate lethbridge-stewart stan i take anything with her even if she's in it for 2 seconds

9. The Magician's Apprentice/The Witch's Familiar (9x1/9x2) - i LOVE the doctor and davros' interactions and missy and clara are brilliant together. i love missy. the opening is brilliantly funny, i adore 12 SO MUCH, i love that he plays his guitar god knows in what century and teached the people the word "dude" i LOVE that, and how he just appeared in his davros chair and had tea what an icon i'm his biggest fan, i don't care if it makes no sense i'm here for the entertainment and that's what i got. but like i mentioned in the last series ranking... steven moffat does NOT understand the daleks. i respect him a lot as a writer, but he can't for the life of him write the daleks. "Into the Dalek" i can excuse because it's fun enough and the radiation is probably affecting the creature's biology, but this episode acting like the cases or armour or whatever are the ones controlling how the daleks act is just bullshit, the daleks are a genetically engineered race full of hate, not just some random squid aliens inside propaganda cases for god's sake. funny how the daleks of this dalek episode are the worst thing in it

10. The Woman Who Lived (9x6) - i enjoy this episode, i don't think it's bad, but it's not good enough to deserve to be higher on this list. me is an interesting enough character and i like that she doesn't remember everything, it's really fascinating. i also like how she's pretty much morally grey, a bit like the doctor. yeah, it's enjoyable but nothing special imo, and sometimes i just. didn't get the plot, which i understand and can excuse because it focuses on me and the doctor but i dislike the plot and the lion alien

11. Sleep No More (9x9) - it is a bit boring isn't it? i don't actively hate it, and i really appreciate the way it's filmed, i think it's really cool. i LOVE that we're kinda the monsters there and that it's a sort of video, but it doesn't save it from the fact that it's utterly tedious

[schismusic]

THE DISCOGRAPHY PRINCIPLE, Episode 5: Fugazi, or: People in high places are in on the kill taker

This is the first and only episode of the series that has a subtitle actually originating within the discography of the band it's discussing. More precisely, this sentence is in the packaging to a 1993 album called In on the Kill Taker, originally meant to be an EP produced by Steve Albini, local hero (you may recall him from Episode 2 of this very same series). At one point the band simply couldn't seem to stop producing new material, and collectively decided the new songs needed a more "produced" sound. So they split ways with Steve Albini right before his big breakthrough producing Nirvana's In Utero. The reason why I picked a sentence within Fugazi's work instead of turning to the usual postmodern shortcircuiting techniques is that Fugazi exist outside of any other reasoning, exclusively and crucially on their own merits and terms. There is no other band like Fugazi.

Think about it: upon reviewing any post-hardcore influenced band, no self-respecting professional reviewer after 1998 will ever compare them to Fugazi directly, even when they'd be right in doing so. There are a number of euphemisms to soften that comparison: maybe At the Drive-In (whose best record by far also happens to be their most Fugazi-inspired, as well as one of my favourite records ever), perhaps Refused if we're feeling exotic and we forget how firmly their tongue is lodged in their cheek at all times. Nobody touches Fugazi unless it's about Fugazi, and even then it's basically a given — they are either the best band ever or somewhere up there. If you don't know Fugazi, that might sound a bit too heavy-handed, and perhaps even get you to feel some aversion to Fugazi, until you listen to the records and realize "oh God, they were right". Here is where I, personally, realized that was the case for me:

Fugazi's superiority, at first, seems to lie within their internal policies and politics, their choices to sell any of their work and tickets exclusively below a certain price and to specifically push for all-ages shows, their strict code of ethics concerning relationships with fans and recorded music producers: no merch, no branding, no nothing, the point was first and foremost to make punk music with an attitude for research and dynamism and a social/political edge that wasn't afraid to tackle any subject matter in any manner that was felt necessary, all the while remaining firmly against (against discrimination, against violence, against a number of mainstream ideal models of conduct and thought). All else was window dressing and as such to be avoided. The Steve Albini debacle, if we want to call it that, ended up with Steve Albini's respect for the band skyrocketing — their ability to make such a decision with a producer already in ever-growing demand (who was himself eager to work with them) meant they were for real, they cared for the music much more than they did the publicity, and plain and simple had thought about what they did hard enough to know how to serve the songs. But that's exactly the main point: there's plenty of bands who don't care about the publicity and there's plenty of bands who try to make socially engaged music and there's plenty of bands who don't do social media. But how many of these bands are Fugazi — that is, how many have a track record this good?

I keep thinking back to this one thing that Francesco Farabegoli once said about Waiting Room in this here piece (Italian only, but I'll translate the relevant part, don't worry). For reference, Waiting Room not only is the first song on Fugazi's first EP, it's also the first song Fugazi ever wrote according to internal chronicles of the band, so it's got to sound a little bit surprising to those of you not in the know when FF writes that the song "lives within this paradox by which despite it not being the best song ever recorded by Fugazi, it's still the best song ever recorded by anyone". Hard to believe until you hear it, then you'll know what I mean. If I had to pick a favourite Fugazi song, that'd probably be Instrument, which I conveniently linked up at the beginning, and which neatly lines up with the fact that In on the Kill Taker is the one Fugazi album I have personally spent the most time with. In case you're wondering, a couple other picks might be Caustic Acrostic and Cassavetes — another cool thing about Fugazi is that they love their cinema. This might be the place where I first heard the name of John Cassavetes, as a matter of fact. But Waiting Room? There's simply no way to beat that as a first impression, and I get the feeling they might have known.

But by far what drives me to Fugazi the most is the very clear sense of linear, constant progression you get listening to their music in the release order. There is a core concept ("like the Stooges with reggae", in the words of Ian MacKaye) and then there are innumerable applications of said concept: its most stripped-down variant — of course the most solid, because it's the most rehearsed and strongest rooted — gets progressively more articulate and confident; but it reaches a breaking point, which the critics usually correlate to Steady Diet of Nothing; the band is able to rebound by slowly exploding that form, making it somewhat more articulate and chiselled; from In on the Kill Taker onwards everything turns more dynamic, the arrangement finds a community of intent and expression that transcend the base form and culminate of course into a record that simply chooses to refuse all further articulation. Ironically enough, that record is titled The Argument, it came out in 2001 after three years in the works — a very long time, the longest in the band's history — and then the band were so forward-thinking as to pioneer yet another dearly-beloved of post-hardcore bands all around the world: the term "indefinite hiatus".

It's much easier to say this than it is to split up for real, but what else were Fugazi supposed to do? They are still friends, they simply don't feel the band has anything more to say at this present time. Plus it's not like they stopped making music altogether — everyone of them has their own projects, their own things and most importantly their own life. I guess it's a matter of realizing that at one point you've reached an end, or that it would take too long for something to actually carry on in the proper manner. And I get it. Shutting up sometimes really says more than a hundred words, in that even absence implies non-presence (or past presence, in this case), it creates longing, it creates an empty space to be filled by whoever feels up to the task. In other words, I'm pretty sure something as big as Fugazi never really dies, and I think they too think so. "That is not dead which can eternal lie"…

[longagoitwastuesday]

I've also been reading the three musketeers and the thesis chapter had me Cackling. the clowning on learning latin in particular and aramis as a character constantly emphasizing that being part of the higher sought after and hard-to-get-into regiment of the king's musketeers is just kind of a temp job for him is so funny. character of all time. (also bazin wanting aramis to be a abbe so bad is so good)

Disclaimer that I was actually not reading the book, just giving a look and toying with the idea of reading it soon. In fact I was reading something else, but the chapter was so funny I've abandoned it and will probably start The three musketeers instead xD

Yes! Bazin was so funny. While reading him I couldn't help but be reminded of Smee wanting to leave Neverland and done with Hook's obsession for Peter Pan. Aramis dismissing being a musketeer is hilarious, but it becomes particularly funny after reading Cyrano de Bergerac, where Cyrano mentions being a musketeer wistfully a couple of times. While I was reading the play I kept thinking that Cyrano's aspirations were basically to be Aramis haha

The use of Latin each character (the curate, the Jesuit, D'Artagnan and Aramis) does was indeed very funny, as well as insightful. I ended up reading a paper on the command each of the four protagonists has of Latin, and I loved the comparison it established between Athos and Aramis. I don't have an opinion on this formed because I have yet to read the book, which is a good thing (it will hopefully keep me from rambling), but I found what I read super interesting.

The chapter was very funny, and I felt Dumas managed everything very well? I loved the writing itself. Every part of the chapter worked wonderfully as a whole to enhance every aspect, making the funny parts more fun and drawing a more clear lively depiction of the characters.

By that I mean, basically, that even from the initial interaction between D'Artagnan and the hostess in which he asks for Aramis and she goes "the charming hot guy?" we can see Aramis' hypocrisy and unsteadiness by a mile. It's hilarious to read the chapter and see how Aramis ends up contradicting everything he does or says, at times not even that long after saying it xD

Which takes me to the thesis itself. Honestly, I loved the topics. I know they're supposed to sound a bit ridiculous and funny, but I thought Dumas conveyed very well the air of some of those intricate questions of theology that seem trifle but have a lot of implications, and end up being of a very poetic nature (such as the question about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, one of my all time favourite questions). I wasn't very interested on the topic of the hands until the Jesuit commented that sprinklers "simulate an infinite number of blessing fingers"; that's beautiful.

Now, the topic Aramis himself proposes is just gorgeous. The way he defends it with a syllogism is so clever of Dumas considering the link between theology and the development of Logic. Besides that, despite how unorthodox the topic may appear at first, as Aramis himself puts it, there is a lot of truth in what he says about the world being full of temptations and it being very much a sacrifice to leave it, and how there lies the devotional act. I ended up being very intrigued by the potential development of this thesis in a mix of appreciation of the world as God's creature, and thus the leaving of the world as an act of true love for God, of more importance; how instead of an easy surrender, the struggle and doubts are as much reflection of the condition of humanity's frailty as it is a more steady and full surrender to God.

The topic of Aramis' thesis is somewhat paradoxical yet sound, and reflects doubts, as well as an appreciation for the world, aesthetics and beauty; I think it reflects so much of what makes Aramis himself.

And then, again, there's the whole hypocrisy through the entire chapter (which is what makes it for me haha). The way he says he isn't defending a regret at renouncing the world while proposing the thesis, that the mere idea is sacrilegious, how he insists he won't miss it, that friends are but shadows and the world a grave, and still how his resolution wavers almost instantly with his "And yet, while I still hold to the earth, I would have liked to talk with you, about you, about our friends" (and what a tender shaking), only to end up asking D'Artagnan to tell him about the world in the last line? Hilarious. What an hypocrite xD

But how extremely charming and adorable, I must admit! I love how when D'Artagnan tells him "But how are you going to live while you wait for me? No more thesis, no more commentaries on fingers and blessings, eh?", Aramis smiles and replies "I shall compose verses". Truly one of the characters of all time xD