#my evil wife who wants me to eat glass with her <3 i miss her

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remember when i was gonna add more gbf muses. haha. i should do that

[tinyboxxtink]

"...So I Married A Monster" *Chapter 2*

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

Man we just skipped the happy fun times here and went straight into the fire, didn't we? Zero to hundred REAL quick.

What can I say guys, writing is therapy. And I have a lot of demons.

Eventually we'll get some fluff....eventually. Maybe.

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------------------

Rafael went to his car and began to think. He had to trust you would listen to what you said, if you loved him like he loved you, you would. But the thought that terrified him more than losing you right now was that William Lewis was back, and on the loose. He dialed Liv’s number as he sped back towards New York City.

“Liv,” He said very seriously as soon as she answered. “He’s back. Lewis is back,”

Meanwhile

You started to pull yourself together when you heard a small noise from the corner of the room. You saw Maggie standing there with her mouth open.

“Oh baby--” You stood up and walked over to her.

“Why was he saying that, mom?” She had lost her sassy demeanor, and was now just a scared little girl.

“I…” You put a hand on her shoulder. “I don’t know, baby girl,”

“I bet it’s because he’s jealous,” She scoffed, now resuming her angry flippant self. “He’s jealous dad is a better dude than him. I don’t know why--”

“We are not getting into this again, Margaret,” You used her full name, letting her know you meant business.

“You don’t…” Maggie paused. “You don’t believe him, do you mom?”

“What?” You blinked, trying to decide whether or not to answer honestly. Her big doe eyes looked at you, begging you to confirm that her dad was the man she thought he was.

“...No, of course not sweetie,” You shook your head and pulled her into a huge hug.

But you weren’t entirely sure at all.

-------------------

The Next Day In The SVU Office

Rafael and the squad had been working all night since he had made the call to Olivia. The squad room was now full of a corkboard full of all of William’s aliases, past transgressions, etc. Except now your name along with Maggie and Kylie’s names were added on a side stem, with “Billy Loomis?” written above it.

“So, you’re sure this chick hasn’t been helping William this whole time? Helping him hideout?” Fin asked Barba.

“What?” Rafael gasped. “No, not at all. No way,” He shook his head violently. “She didn’t even know who he was,”

“....Mmmhmm,” Fin gave the others a look.

“Look Fin I didn’t come here to here you insult my girlfriend--”

“Your girlfriend?” Nick asked. “Didn’t you say she kicked you out?”

“I don’t care, when she realizes--”

“And what if she doesn’t?” Olivia chimed in. “What if she does try to help him now?”

“Olivia!” He looked at her in betrayal. “Come on, you don’t think--”

“You said that he already convinced her to kick you out by just a few words on the phone,” Olivia pointed out. “Now that he knows you two are involved he is gonna try like hell to drive that wedge further and further,”

“But he won’t be able to if she finds out who he is,” Rafael rebutted.

“But if she won’t look, she won’t know,” Olivia stood her ground.

“She’ll look,” Rafael reiterated. “I know she will,”

----------------------

Back at your house

It was late at night, the girls were asleep and you were on your phone in your bed with a bottle of wine. You had brought a glass to bed with you, but you were drinking straight out of the bottle.

What Rafael said yesterday was eating at you. But what was eating at you more was the fact that you were starting to believe him over the man you had shared your life with for almost a decade, a man who you had two children with.

You looked at your phone which had your text thread with Rafael pulled up on it. You went through all the texts you had ever sent. The late night conversations, the little texts in the middle of the day just to say he missed you. He was so good to you, he always had been. He would never lie to you...would he?

You closed the text thread and opened up GOOGLE. You looked to the sky and asked God to forgive you for betraying the father of your children like this; but it had to be done. You typed in the name “WILLIAM LEWIS” and hit “SEARCH”.

---------------------------

At Rafael’s Home

Rafael was staring at the text thread between you from his own phone, rubbing the screen with his thumb. He wanted so badly to call you, but he knew he needed to trust you to do this on your own. Plus, he was sure you wouldn’t answer if he called anyway. While he was staring longingly at his phone, it lit up:

UNKNOWN NUMBER CALLING

He had a pit of dread forming in his stomach, but he answered the phone anyway.

“Hello?”

“Hello there, counselor,”

“How did you get this number?”

“My lovely wife gave it to me, obviously,”

“You’re lying,”

“Am I?”

“Yes, she wouldn’t do that,”

“Oh really?” He chuckled darkly. “You really think she cares about you that much?”

“I know she does,”

“Well, you know that’s really unfortunate for you, because you won’t see her or my kids again,”

“Why are you doing this?” Rafael asked. “Why do you even have a family? What are you going to do with them?!”

“What?” He laughed. “Nothing, counselor. I assure you,”

“Bullshit,”

“No actually, it’s not,” William explained. “Y’know after I had my little...adventure, in New York. I went off the grid. Wanted to live a normal life for a little while. And then I met Y/N,”

“Uh huh..” Rafael listened impatiently.

“And then I fell in love with her, and we had two beautiful girls. And I love those girls more than anything in this world, Barba,” He explained.

“You’re a fucking liar,” Rafael spit. “You don’t know how to love,”

“Believe it or not I do,” William smirked. “I just...don’t show it in a normal way,”

“Right,” Rafael rolled his eyes.

“Hey, look,” William defended. “I was in love with Y/N for a while, I really was. And then--”

“Then what?”

“Then, she got a little naggy,” William shrugged. “She got on my nerves, and I got that itch again,”

“That itch?”

“Y’know, that...itch,”

“You wanted to kill her,”

“I did,” William admitted. “But I figured killing mommy wouldn’t be something I could get past the kiddos, so I scratched that itch in other places,”

“She did say you travelled a lot…’for work’,” Rafael recalled a conversation he had about him before with you one time, in passing. If only he knew what he knew now.

“Yeah,” William chuckled to himself.

His ‘work’ was quite extensive. And it was exhausting trying to lead a double life, but he was being honest when he said he loved his girls. He really did. He loved them more than anything or anyone he had before, maybe ever. He’d never let anyone hurt them...or turn them against him.

“Anyhow,” He continued. “Y’know I may not be in love with Y/N anymore, but you know what I hate?”

“What?”

“People touching my things,” Lewis growled.

“She is not a THING, Lewis. She’s not even yours anymore,” Rafael yelled.

“See I know you’ve never been married Barba, so maybe you don’t understand this,” Lewis lowered his voice to an eerily calm manner. “But when you marry someone, in front of God and everyone you love, it creates a bond. An everlasting bond,”

“Oh give me a break--”

“And that bond, cannot be broken. ‘Till death do us part,”

“...Are you threatening her?” Rafael was vibrating with rage.

“No, of course not counselor,” William replied innocently. “However, if you were to help her break those vows….I might be forced to,”

“Excuse me?”

“Until death do us part, Barba,” William repeated. “That means either she stays faithful to me, or I’ll have to kill her,”

“Don’t you DARE touch her Lewis, do you hear me?!” Rafael’s blood was boiling.

“Well I won’t have to, as long as you leave her be,” William replied calmly.

“....You won’t get away with this,” Rafael growled.

“Oh I think I will,” William smirked. “Because if you send anyone after me, she will die,”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Rafael growled. “You just said your kids would--”

“So maybe mommy gets in a car wreck on the way home, or God forbid robbed in a parking lot!” Lewis taunted Rafael with an evil laugh.

“You’re the fucking devil, you know that?”

“Maybe, but I know I’m a man who gets what he wants,” Lewis chuckled. “I’ll let you go Barba, I know you’re a busy man. And remember, I’ll be watching!”

And with that he hung up on Rafael.

------------------

Almost immediately after hanging up with Lewis, Rafael’s phone lit up again.

Y/N CALLING

“Holy shit…” He blinked in disbelief at the phone. How did you know?

“...Y/N?”

“Rafa,” You tried to keep yourself from crying, you couldn’t wake up the girls. “Rafa I...I saw William Lewis,”

“Oh god,” Rafael put a hand over his head. “Baby, I am so, so--”

“No, I’m sorry,” You cut him off. “I should have listened to you, I should have googled him, not kicked you out,”

“You didn’t know…”

“No but you did, and I should have trusted you. That’s what you do when you--” You paused, never having had said it out loud before.

“....When you what?” He waited with bated breath.

“When you love someone,” You bit your lip, hoping it wasn’t too late to say.

“I knew it,” He smiled to himself. “I knew you loved me. I knew he was full of shit,”

“What do you mean he?” Your eyes quirked.

“Shit,” Rafael realized he misspoke. “Um, well--”

“He called you, didn’t he?” You asked.

“...He said you gave him my number,” Rafael confessed.

“I didn’t, I swear to God Rafa I didn’t,” Tears stung your eyes. “I-I don’t know how he--”

“It’s fine, carino,” He assured you. “He has his ways, I know that,”

“Okay…” You said softly, not really sure he believed you. Damn Billy. Damn him to hell.

“Speaking of ‘his ways’--,” Rafael added with an uncomfortable clearing of his throat.

Oh God. What was he going to say?

“He...we…” Rafael tried to get the words out, he really didn’t want to say them out loud.

“He what, Rafael?” You pressed him.

“He said that I can’t see you again,” He closed his eyes as the words fell out of his mouth.

“What?” You nearly dropped the wine bottle all over your sheets.

“I can’t--” He started to repeat himself.

“No,” You cut him off. “No that is not--” There was no way in hell Billy was going to keep you from Rafael, not now.

“He said he would kill you, Y/N,” Rafael said very pensively.

“Well why hasn’t he done it already?!” You raised your voice, quickly looking to the door to make sure the girls hadn’t heard you. They hadn’t.

“He said your kids wouldn’t forgive him, and he really does love them,” He relayed what Lewis had told him.

“Ugh,” You gagged. “I can’t believe that son of a--”

“Y/N I believe him,” Rafael interjected.

“About what?”

“All of it,” He sighed. “I...I think he really does love your daughters,”

“...Really?”

“Yeah, he said that’s why he left. He wanted to scratch his...itch, somewhere else,”

“Oh my god…” You wanted to vomit thinking about all the “business trips” Billy used to take. If you only knew what kind of “business” he was in.

“...And I also think he’ll be good on his word of having you killed,”

“Having me killed?” You snorted. “By who?”

“Guys like him, they know plenty of...dark people,” He rubbed his eyes, he was getting a headache from all of this worrying. “He probably has people watching your house right now,”

“No, there’s no--” You looked out your window and down the street. Nothing looked out of place, but now you were paranoid. “...There’s no way, I would notice. I’m pretty sure,”

“Look we may be worried about nothing,” The idea just occurred to Rafael’s mind.

“Nothing? Really?” You laughed sarcastically.

“Well look, if Lewis thinks that you believed him over me, just...just keep him thinking that,” He hated the idea of you pretending to still...like, Lewis but he needed you safe.

“You want me to just go about my life like I don’t know my ex-husband is a psychopath?!” You hissed, really attempting to keep your voice down. The girls definitely could not hear any of this. Ever.

“Just for now,” Rafael assured you.

“Do you really think he’ll think I chose to believe him over you?” You twirled your hair nervously.

“Well, I mean you didn’t--” He paused. “You’ve never mentioned me before, maybe he’ll just think we were a...a fling or something,”

“I was introducing you to my kids!” You cried. “I think that’s a little more than a fling,”

“Okay fair point,” Rafael shook his head. “But, it would make perfect sense that you would just believe him at his word that I was the bad guy, right? He’s the father of your children, I’m just some guy you were having sex with for a few months,”

“No you aren’t,” You bit back tears hearing him drag your relationship like that. “You know you’re more than that,”

“I mean for the sake of the lie, amor,” He said with a somewhat endearing tone. He liked the fact that you made sure he knew that was a bunch of shit.

“I guess,” You shrugged, still not liking the idea of having to shit on what you and Rafael had. Even if it was just acting. But you had to, for your life. And for your children’s lives.

“Rafael, what if he suspects something? What if he kidnaps the girls?” Your mind was racing with worst case scenarios.

“Y/N I’m telling you, if you just play it cool, he’ll never think anything else about this,” Rafael tried to comfort you through the phone, but he knew it was somewhat fruitless without him being able to touch and hold you.

“....And I’m just supposed to live like this?” You felt tears in your voice. “Just...just never see you again? After I just told you I--”

“Just for now, mi vida,” He tried not to to start crying himself. He had to be the strong one here. “Just until I can-- figure something else out,”

“...I just want you here,” You whimpered.

Your whimpers pierced his heart like a million knives. All he wanted in that moment was to be next to you, holding you while you cried. Protecting you with his life. But he knew in reality, this was how he had to protect you. And your girls.

“I know…” He nodded his head, a few tears dropping down his face. “I just want to be there,”

“...I-I need to go, it’s late. The girls will be getting up for school soon,” You wiped tears from your own face, putting the wine bottle back in your side table.

“Alright, mi amor,” He said softly, not really wanting to hang up. He didn’t know when the next time he’d be able to hear your voice was going to be, and he wanted every second he had left with you.

“Don’t…” He bit back the sobs in his tone. “Don’t call me, or text me. Wait for me to contact you, okay?”

“What?” Your voice went up a register higher. Now you didn’t want to hang up with him, if he was going to ghost you like this. “No, Raf please, we haven’t--”

“I know,” He rubbed his eyes. “I know we’ve never not talked for even a day, I know. And it’s going to kill me, just know that. You’re my best friend, Y/N,”

“Really?” You blinked in surprise. “Even over Olivia?”

“...Don’t tell her,” He cry-laughed. He knew that would be the last time he laughed for a while.

“You’re my best friend too, Rafael,” You were really crying now. “Ever since I met you, you’ve made my life better. And now I’ve gone and fucked it--"

“Hey,” He stopped you with a stern tone. “No. You didn’t do anything wrong here, you understand me? That’s-- that’s not why I’m cutting you off, okay? I’m not punishing you, please know that,”

“...I know,” You replied in a soft voice, almost like a little girl scared of the dark.

“Okay, good,” He breathed in relief. He couldn’t live with himself if you blamed yourself for this mess.

“I promise-- I swear to you, as soon as I think it’s safe I will come straight to you,” He promised. “The very second,”

“Okay,” You nodded in a more controlled, mature tone. You had to be strong now, you didn’t want him to think you were a blubbering idiot without him. You had survived three long years on your own, you could do it again. You hoped.

“I love you, Y/N,” Rafael repeated it for the third time that day. You wished you could record it and play it over and over again, falling asleep to it.

“I love you too Rafael,” You sniffled.

“...Talk soon,” He said softly, then hung up before he could change his mind about the whole thing.

You both cried yourself to sleep that night.

[mrsseverussnape]

Love Is You - chapter 3

a/n: I dunno why i am posting these literally middle of the night everytime but here we go again💁🏼‍♀️

     Tomorrow there would be the divorce suit at the Ministry. Scarlett has become worse both mentally and physically till this day. So Carina had to write Leonidas couple of days after their mum told her about the situation because she wasn’t able to help and control both of their parents and work at the same time. Leo was shaken by the news but immediately took a leave from work and came to London from New York to stay with his mum for a week. His mother was his favourite person in the whole wide world and seeing her so down broke his heart into pieces. He would not be able to fully forgive his dad ever. And after that one week, Scarlett would live with Carina at Hogwarts for a while until she was feeling better.

"Mum it is enough wine for tonight, stop please." Leo took the wine glass and the bottle away from Scarlett. "I don't want you to be hangover tomorrow."

"It's just my 5th glass, give it back Leo."

"No alcohol for you anymore, you drink too much lately but not eating anything!"

"That's how i cope! It makes my mind blurry so i stop thinking about the situation over and over again!" She covered her face with her hands and started to cry who knows how many times today.

She was crying almost all day everyday since she found out about the cheating. That was heart breaking for the twins and Scarlett's parents; Ricardus and Aurelia. The moment Ricardus found about it, he went to find Sirius before anyone could stop him and Merlin knows what he did. Sirius was like a son to him but no one could hurt his princess and if someone does, they need to pay the price.

Leo hugged his mum tightly and kissed her tear-stained cheek. He adored his mother so much and he couldn't stand to see her in this condition.

"Let’s take you to the bed mum, you should rest for tomorrow." 

She nodded lightly; she was extremely tired because of lack of sleeping so Scarlett let Leo to escort her to her bedroom without putting a fist. Leo laid her down on her bed carefully and tucked her like she did to him when he was little.

"I love you mum, have a good night. Call out to me if you need anything."

"Love you too baby, night..." She mumbled while already giving up to sleep.

      The court was going to start at 10 o'clock so they had to be at the Ministry around 9:30. Scarlett was up early in the morning since she could only sleep for only 2-3 hours. She took a hot shower and started to get ready unwillingly. She looked at herself in the mirror for the first time in days. Scarlett felt like she got older in such a short time. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying endlessly and she had dark circles around them from lack of sleeping, she has lost couple of pounds already because she was not eating at all but having alcohol nonstop. "That's not me..." She mumbled to herself and looked through her closet. Then she picked a formal black dress, did her hair, and put her signature red lipstick on. She was trying to look at least decent even she had no will to do anything at all but maybe the outfit would give her some power.

     2 hours later Scarlett and the twins were sitting at the ministry and waiting for their turn at the court. Scarlett was so nervous and scratching her hands like she always did when she was under stress; she wasn’t aware but she has made them bleed ever so slightly. After a while Sirius showed up too. He wasn't looking any better than Scarlett and maybe even worse appearance wise. He has put his hair in a messy bun and his clothes were in need of ironing. The moment he noticed them, Sirius immediately made his way to Scarlett but she was trying her best not to look at him.

"Scar we can renounce this court, i don't want to divorce. I love you..." 

He tried to fall at Scarlett's feet, but his son made him to stand still before he could do it.

"Dad, stop it please. It is already hard for her, don't make it harder." Leo said firmly.

"Do you want us to divorce, Leonidas!?"

"That's the right thing after what you have done. Maybe you should have thought before act mindlessly. Now leave mum alone."

Sirius was about to respond but Carina acted faster.

"Dad, Leo, it is not the right place or time to argue. Stop it." Carina said with a sigh.

   Couple of minutes later, the worker called out their names. Scarlett stood up and walked to the courtroom’s door, but she stopped at the doorsill. She knew if she took one more step, she wouldn't be able to change her mind anymore but she took a deep breath and walked in. Half an hour later the court has ended, they were divorced now, 26 years of marriage was ended in a heartbeat. Scarlett felt numb say the least, she was hearing her kids talking to her and seeing them moving around but couldn't react to any of them. It was like a nightmare that you cannot wake up from.

"Mum? Mum!?" Carina shook her shoulder lightly to gain her attention.

"Yes yes, let’s get out of here..." Scarlett mumbled and walked out of the Law Department.

Leo was escorting Sirius out even they had an argument before the court. It was the first time he saw his dad crying helplessly and being devastated that much. Leo was still upset with him but overall, he was his dad and he couldn't help himself but felt bad for him too. Leo knew how much he loved his wife and adored her, because of that the thing he has done was so hard to believe for anyone who knows them.

"Please tell me all of this is not real and just a bad dream son, please..."

Leo didn't answer, just rubbed Sirius's back to calm him down. Sirius took off a cigarette out of his pocket and lighted it, apparently he has started to smoke again.

"You can't smoke inside, sir. You need to get out." A security approached him immediately.

Sirius cursed and walked outside angrily, Leo followed to keep an eye on him and said to Carina "I will be waiting you outside." On his way.

Carina nodded and looked at her mum when she said something silently. But Carina was unable to understand and made her to repeat it.

"I need to pack my stuff."

"What stuff mum?"

"I resigned."

Carina looked at her with wide eyes. She wasn’t ready for another surprise.

"When did you do that mum? Why?"

"A week ago. I can't work here anymore." Scarlett was talking so emotionless, she sounded like her soul was sucked by dementors.

"Why tho? You love your job."

Scarlett just shrugged her shoulders, didn't want to tell her the real reason. She hasn’t told Carina who was the woman and that she also works at the Ministry. 15 minutes later they have packed her stuff from her room, said farewell to the Minister and now they were going down with the elevator. But on the next floor to their chance Arabelle Fullalove got on the elevator as well. Scarlett was out of her mind, didn't even notice her until Arabelle started to talk to her.

"Hello Mrs. Black, ah sorry i should call you Miss Rose now." Said smirking.

Arabelle was the last person Scarlett wanted to see right now but here she was. Scarlett ignored her but Arabelle was persistent to cause a scene and she looked like she was having the time of her life.

"Don't we talk? I think we have so many things to talk now."

"Sorry but who are you? Could you please leave my mum alone? She doesn't want to talk." Carina took a step to stand between two of them.

"You are her daughter huh?" Arabelle smiled wickedly. "Well, i am the woman that your daddy chose over your mother. But no surprise that he wanted someone new."  Sent a contemptuous look at Scarlett. Now she has managed to gain everyone’s attention in the elevator and the people has started to whisper.

Carina drew her wand at Arabelle, furiously. 

"If you say one more thing, i will hurt you!"

"How cute, little girl protecting her mummy because she is pathetic!." Arabelle let out an evil laugh, at the moment elevator stopped and she hopped out still laughing.

    Scarlett was visibly shaking and tears were collected in her eyes but she was trying not to cry in front of many people. She has already felt humiliated enough after the things Arabelle has said, now everyone at the Ministry would know about it. Carina was so angry; she couldn't believe how cruel and shameless that woman was. She couldn’t do anything to calm her mum down since she wasn’t calm herself. When they arrived the ground floor, Scarlett run out of the elevator crying her eyes out; she couldn't hold it anymore.

"Mum wait!" Carina followed her running.

"Mum…? Carry?  What is going on!?"  Leo asked worriedly and tried to hold Scarlett since he was waiting right next to the outside door. But Scarlett was having a nervous breakdown and was not listening anybody, she threw herself on the ground crying. The twins decided to take her to St. Mungo’s because they didn’t know how to handle her at this point, Scarlett was the calmest and non-problematic one in the family so no one was used to that. The healers took her to a room and gave her sedatives immediately when they arrived; the sedatives showed their effects quicky and everyone relieved a bit. While Scarlett was sleeping, Carina told everything that happened in the elevator to Leo. He couldn’t believe the things he just heard and they made him so angry that he just wanted to hurt the woman. She didn’t have any rights to act like that to their mum.

"She didn't deserve any of this, not in the slightest. It is breaking my heart to see her like that..."

“I don't know what we can do to make her happy again. I missed her smile Leo, I missed her giggles..." 

Leo hugged his sister tightly, he wanted nothing but to see their mum happy again. "We will figure it out, everything will be fine again..."

Taglist:

@snapefiction @lizlil @elizabeth-baelish @misselsbells06 @mais-e @lunnybunny12 @anfre109 @entirelymesmerising @wolvesofwinter13 @mrssnivellussnape

If you wanna be on my taglist, let me know!

[lokislittlesigyn]

OG616 : Thor 1 - Pt.6 [The Mourning]

[My masterlist, where all parts of this and my other fics can be found]

Pairing: Loki / Sigyn (basically an oc based off the marvel/myth namesake)

Warnings: Angst, some.. Hopelessness? And mild flirting.

Author’s Note: Very long one here. Hope you enjoy!

Taglist: @high-functioning-lokipath

To be added to the taglist, just ask me here or send a message! <3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A very distinct, sharp pain washed over Sigyn as she pondered Odin's words. Like a knife plunging into her gut, twisting, pulling - but never leaving. Only hurting worse and worse, the very air in her lungs seizing up.

Loki is dead.

Her throat burned.

Loki is dead.

Tears streamed down her face.

My Loki is dead.

She broke. Her entire body shook with a sob as she collapsed onto the couch she was seated on, weeping. "He can't, he- He's not, he's not.."

"Sister.." Thor wrapped her in a hug, his jaw set firm. Frigga placed a hand on her back.

Odin’s grip tightened around Gungnir. "He's gone."

"No he's not."

"Sigyn-"

"He's NOT!" She screamed, struggling in Thor's grip, who clenched his jaw as he held her. "He's not- He can't be, he.. Loki.." Her body gave way, unable to cope.

Thor helped her stand, letting her sob against him.

"I wish it were true," Odin resumed, forgiving the interruption, "That he could still be with us. But he made his choice."

Sigyn glared at him.

"You made your choice when you lied to him! When you lied to all of us for countless years. We built our life around that lie!" She choked back another sob. "Now our lives are ruined because of it."

Odin didn't respond.

"Sigyn, have care how you speak." Frigga stepped between them, finally composed, though her eyes still glistened. "We need time to grieve, all of us. But perhaps, you most of all." She cupped Sigyn's cheek, wiping a tear away. "Go rest. Arguing will breed nothing but more pain."

Frigga was right. Arguing now would only make things worse - Odin wasn’t exactly known for a cool temper. But her head was still spinning. Loki couldn't be gone. There had to be some other way. Straightening up, Sigyn wrung her hands together. Swallowed. "I-I am sorry, Allfather.. I spoke out of line.."

Odin waved his hand, still looking away.

"Thor," Frigga managed a gentle smile at her son, "Please take Sigyn back to her chambers before you visit the healers."

Thor nodded, and without another word, he and Sigyn left.

~~~~

Sigyn stayed in her chambers for days on end. She ignored the time. Refused to eat. Refused to sleep in her bed - no, their bed - it still smelled like him. She spoke to no one. Retreated into the solace of being completely and entirely alone. Once the dust had settled, the wounded healed, and the palace put back in order, a feast was held for those who defended Asgard and helped Thor return home.

Sigyn was required to attend.

I can't exactly refuse... She reasoned, pulling on an emerald green gown. Putting on her favorite necklace, she gazed in the mirror.

She was pale. Paler than usual. Sickly and thin, with dark circles under her eyes. Hardly the shining goddess she would be expected to appear as. She looked down at the necklace. She’d had it for a long time. A rectangular medallion on a thin, metal chain - the medallion bearing two serpents, intertwined with each other, each biting their own tail. A symbol of Loki’s adaptability and cunning.

"If you should like to...” Loki had murmured, obviously nervous has he offered it to her, “I would be honored to see you wear it.”

It had been a perfect gift, marrying her colors with his symbol. She barely took it off, except of course when she was expected to wear coordinating clothes. Then it lived in a small wooden box on the dresser, safe from dust.

This will be my first meal without you. She ran her thumb over the symbol. I love you. I miss you.

Composing herself, she left her room.

~~~~

Servants and guests alike stared at Sigyn when she arrived. She was late. She adjusted the necklace, ignored their whispering. Ignored the stares, the side glances...

Maybe I should’ve stayed alone.

"Sigyn.." Sif walked up to her. "I am so sorry for your loss.."

Sigyn merely watched the warrior as she spoke. She felt like something inside her had died along with Loki. Something was lost. She wasn’t sure if it would ever return.

Sif swallowed. "Truly, I am."

With great effort, Sigyn spoke, her voice dry from lack of use. "Thank you, Sif." She forced as much of a smile as she could, then took her seat.

Conversation picked back up. Stories were told. Laughter spread.

Sigyn stayed there. Motionless. Expressionless. Staring at her untouched goblet. This wasn't worth it. Nothing was worth it. Nothing had meaning anymore.

She turned to look at all the guests. They were eating together happily, drinks sloshing over their food as they raised toasts and struggled to contain their laughter at Volstagg’s stories.

Their spouses hadn't been taken from them. They hadn't lost someone.

This is life now, isn't it. Sigyn turned back to her empty plate. This is the lot I was cast.

Her vision grew blurry with tears.

The curse worked. Loki is dead. I'll never be loved agai-

No.

She clenched her jaw.

Don't you dare start thinking like that. Don't you give up now. Keep going. Keep fighting. If not for yourself, for him. Do it for him.

She looked back at all the familiar faces around her.

Be strong. Be strong for him.

A tear ran down her cheek.

Make him proud.

"A toast, to Asgard! For the glory of our realm!" Roared Volstagg, raising his glass.

Be strong for Loki.

Sigyn stood and raised her glass with a smile.

"To Asgard. Our home."

~~~~

Time passed. The grief-stricken goddess still wept for her lost husband, still dreamed about him every night. But as the months went on, she wept less. She slowly began healing from the wound deep within her heart. Accepted that for now, Loki was gone.

For now.

She had thrown herself into old books and tomes, determined to improve, to make her husband proud. In the shadows of familiar bookcases within the palace library, she found writings on the Norns. The sisters Wyrd, Veranthi, and Skuld - three powerful beings controlling the past, present, and future. And there in the crumpled pages, she found a familiar symbol: the web of Wyrd.

Three sets of overlapping lines, the it symbolized the inherent interconnections of all actions - and all realities. How the past influenced the present, the present the future, and the future, perhaps the next life.

Our next life... Once the Asgardian twilight comes, and I embrace a final sleep, I will wake up and see him again.

We won’t be alone.

She would remind herself, with each new day, she was another step closer to seeing him again someway, somehow. Alive or dead, they would be reunited. The thought of it inspired a little spark of hope within her. With each passing day, she spent hours pouring over old spellbooks. Studying ancient runes, practicing spells. Mastering them.

She filled books with ideas, charts, musings.

And most of all, she remembered Loki.

She mapped out his entire life, beginning to end. Considered everything that had happened. Asking Thor, Odin, and Frigga exactly what he'd said to them - and exactly how they'd responded. Recorded what they said in books of her own. It helped her grieve.

But it also served her in other ways.

Rumors spread quickly throughout Asgard. Rumors of the prince who was hungry for power. Who stole the throne, and tried to kill his own brother to keep it. Who abandoned his wife in her time of need. Who betrayed his family and his realm.

The liesmith.

Trickster.

Murderer.

Sigyn considered it her duty to dispel false assumptions about him. And as she traded for a new book at the marketplace, she heard one such assumption. A group of ladies stood nearby, gossiping over their goods.

"There she is - that's her, the princess."

"Oh my,"

"Lokiwife, wasn't it?"

"Yes, that's her," A pretty brunette leaned in closer to the others, "I heard she and Loki had quite the time before he.. Well," she frowned, earning murmurs from her group.

Sigyn glanced their way, eavesdropping on their conversation, tucking the book into her satchel.

A blonde nodded in agreement. "Anyone would have a rough time if their husband abandoned them like he did."

"Abandoned?"

"Oh yes," The blonde shook her head, "It was just awful. The Warriors Three said he was always envious of Thor, always wanted the throne. And when he got the chance to steal the throne, he took it."

"If only Thor had been crowned in time. None of this would have happened.” The youngest piped up. The brunette shrugged an agreement.

“Such a waste - we waited hours for that coronation.”

“We had such a nice view, too.."

"A nice view of Prince Thor, certainly." The brunette nodded, her cheeks turning a slight pink.

The blonde smirked. "I'd even say Loki was glad Allfather Odin fell into the Odinsleep.. After all, that gave him access to the throne."

"Finally got him what he wanted," Mused the brunette.

The blonde huffed, "Though a lot of good it did him. Abandoned his wife and his honor, and what did he gain? He's likely in Helheim now.." The group murmured again in agreement.

Sigyn couldn’t take it anymore. "Excuse me - beg your pardon, ladies," She smiled, walking over to them. "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation."

The women's eyes went wide. They bowed, paying their respects. Sigyn nodded her own greeting.

The brunette was the first to speak. "Yes, Princess, we were discussing your husband.."

"And his life's motivations. I heard." Sigyn glanced at the blonde, who gulped.

"We meant no offense to you, Princess.."

"Tell me, did any of you know Loki?"

They shook their heads.

Sigyn sighed. "You must understand: he was not evil. The Loki I knew had not a single malicious bone in his body."

"But he was jealous, Princess. Lady Sif said so, I heard her discussing it over a goblet of mead.." The blonde fidgeted.

"And she's right."

The ladies blinked.

Sigyn straightened up. "Sif is correct. Loki was jealous. And do you know why? He spent his life feeling less than Thor. How do you think Loki felt, then, when he found out his life was a lie? That his greatest fear was true because he was different, he was lesser?”

The women were quiet. Sigyn paused, then continued.

“Loki didn't want the throne. He wanted to be like Thor. To be equal, not less. So when Queen Frigga gave him the throne - he took it. She told him to make his father proud, and he tried to do just that. He tried to prove to Odin he loved him, he was his son, and - and yes, he tried to have Thor killed." Sigyn swallowed.

"I won't deny that. He likely did it to prevent Thor returning and squelching his efforts. But consider why he did it. Loki was... Mislead. He made the wrong choices. He tried to prove himself by vanquishing the Frost Giants, Laufey among them. And what did he have to go off of?" She laughed a single, sad laugh, "We're all raised to fear Jotuns! Slay them like the stupid beasts they are! Hunt them down, bludgeon them! What else would you expect him to do?"

By now a small crowd had gathered. Curious passersby all stared at the princess.

They probably think I'm mad, Sigyn mused, But I don't care. This isn't about me. It's about Loki.

"So he tried it. He tried massacring the Jotuns - and was foiled. Again. By Thor. Again! He was trying to prove himself! Desperately grasping at the final threads of hope! And on the Bifrost," Her breath caught in her throat, "On the Bifrost, that night, he begged Odin for approval. And how did Odin respond? He said no to his son, to the boy who only wanted to be as loved by his parents as his brother was." A tear streaked down her cheek.

"And he fell. He gave up. My husband died because his hope ran out. He could bear the pain no longer." Sigyn stepped toward the blonde, "So the next time you talk about Loki, I ask you to remember that. I hope you remember how my husband, the most wonderful, beautiful man I knew, lost hope that night. And now he's gone."

Without another word, Sigyn turned. Pushed past the crowd, ignoring their stares and whispers.

"Come, Villeildr," She mounted her horse, squeezing his sides with her legs, "It's time we take our leave."

~~~~

Later that night, Sigyn was in the library when a familiar voice called her.

"I thought you'd be here." Fandral stepped in, smirking, his cape sweeping behind him.

"Here I am." Sigyn's focus remained on the book.

"I heard you had a run-in with some acquaintances of mine today."

Sigyn stopped reading.

Fandral continued. "Gave them quite the talking to. Did you rehearse it, or did it simply come to you?"

She shut the book, peering up at him. "They were lying about Loki."

"You seem to forget he lied too.."

"Of course he did. We all do; that doesn't make it right. They were lying about him, Fandral, disrespecting the dead - spreading false rumors about how he 'always wanted the throne.'"

"Well, he was always jealous of Thor.."

She huffed, "I know."

They sat a moment in silence. Fandral moved closer. "I was hoping you would join me for a drink tonight. You’ve barely left the palace in.. Well, far too long."

"I don't drink."

He looked hurt. "You used to."

"There are many things I used to do." She returned to her book, hoping he’d get the hint.

"And I could help you with more than one, if you so wished..."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Remember that bit about respecting the dead?"

"Yes?"

"You're doing a horrid job."

He chuckled.

"Now, even I can't be the best at everything, dearest Sigyn."

"Oh, I believe it." She smirked.

His brow furrowed. "You were meant to be the goddess of compassion, you know."

"Compassion is like sympathy; I can sympathize with you and still point out the fact you're inappropriate."

"You sympathize with me?" He smirked.

"Fandral, do not twist my words.."

"Even if it makes you smile?" He tilted his head slightly. She couldn't resist a small huff of a laugh.

With a slight sigh, he took her hand and kissed it. "Ah, I may never be anything more than your friend, Sigyn," He lowered her hand, smiling at her. "But even if that's the case, I am honored to be your friend."

She smirked, nodding at him once. "Thank you. You're a good friend, Fandral.. Even if you are rude."

With another chuckle, he sprung to his feet. "Until we meet again, fair Sigyn," He bowed, "I take my leave." Turning on his heel, he headed for the door.

"Fandral?"

He stopped.

"Don't get too drunk. Lady Sif is tired of cleaning up after you."

He shot her a grin, then disappeared around the corner.

He's going to get absolutely ruined. Sigyn thought to herself, shaking her head.

[delicatelyherdreams]

Pragma(tic) 3: Her Head Aches

Pairing: Persephone!Bucky Barnes x Hades!Reader

Summary: In a world where the old gods never truly died, you must learn to navigate your way through the ups and downs of immortality. And if living forever wasn’t hard enough, an ancient evil is now threatening to break free after centuries of silence. And as if that still wasn’t hard enough for you, now a pesky and infuriatingly handsome god is trying to wedge his way into your life. Gods, work, love, and conflict—what more could a goddess need? [Hades & Persephone AU]

Word Count: 3758

Warnings: Language

Pragma(tic) Masterlist

Previous 2: He Becomes a Trespasser

Landing on your front stoop once more, you felt thoroughly exhausted and exasperated. You’d used all the energy you had stored for dealing with the living and you weren’t going to need to interact with anyone outside of the Underworld for a year or two at that point. Brunch had been nice, but then dealing with that James? Oh boy, were you spent!

You still couldn’t believe he’d been stupid enough to come down to the Underworld. You’d heard of mortals and younger gods being naive, but that was a whole new level of idiocy. And for what? A simple ruby? 

You heaved a labored sigh and turned to look over your kingdom. You hadn’t gotten the chance to reapply any spells to your father’s cage in your mad dash to save the young prince of spring, and now it was just another thing to do on your list. Gods, that incident had really screwed up your schedule. 

From your spot on the mountain, you could see two figures making a beeline through the Asphodel Meadows from Tartarus: a large dog and a woman. The woman was running frantically, keeping pace with the dog.

Your stomach plummeted. Crap. You’d forgotten you’d sent Cerberus to get Peggy. They’d probably gone back to the cave and didn’t find you there. You could only imagine how worried they were when you were missing.

Peggy and Cerberus quickly scaled the steep steps that led up to your mansion, the elevation and distance being nothing to them. 

Peggy barely stopped in front of you and she grabbed onto your wrists, lifting them up to inspect your body. “Are you alright?” she asked, her voice coated in her British accent (she’d spent quite a bit of time in London from the 1920s to the 1940s and the accent had stuck and never left). Her brown eyes scanned every detail of your face, checking for any traces of golden ichor. 

You let her do her work, simply nodding your head and saying, “I’m fine, Peggy.”

“When Cerberus came barging into my home without you… I thought he’d gotten you.”

You shook your head. “My father would have a hell of a time corrupting me, Peg. No, what had happened was some idiotic god wandered down here and had gotten stuck in Tartarus. The spirits had him and I’d thought something bigger was going on. That’s why I sent Cerberus for you. But nothing is the matter. I dealt with it.”

“Some god?” Her brows furrowed. “But how would he have—” She narrowed her eyes. “The Dikteon Cave.”

“Bingo.”

“But I’d thought we’d closed the rift the best we could and layered on protection warrants.”

“We did,” you confirmed. “But gods, if they’re determined enough, can still slip in.”

“What did he want?”

“A ruby. Probably to amaze and impress some girl.” You rolled your eyes and waved your hand dismissively. “But I took care of him. Sent him home to his chaperones and gave him the chastising of his life. He won’t be back any time soon.”

Peggy nodded, her gaze shifting from you to the cave on the other side of your kingdom. “Did you get a chance to…?”

“No. I need to go do that now.”

“Do you want me to come too?”

“No. You can stay here. Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be coming back shortly after for a drink.”

She couldn’t stop the snicker that fell from her lips. “Something strong?”

“Nah. Probably just some wine mixed with nectar. Can you crack out the 1918 Cabernet Sauvignon for me? I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Of course. Just promise me you won’t drink the whole bottle this time?”

“Ah, I can’t do that, Peg.” You gave her a sly smile. “After dealing with my sisters, an imbecile, and my father, I might just need to get wasted. But that’s why I have you; to make sure I don’t do anything stupid.”

“Mhmm. Sure. Come on, Cerberus,” she said, beckoning your dog to follow her into your house.

He followed after her, his tail wagging with excitement at the idea of hanging out with Aunt Peggy.

As the door closed behind them, you descended the staircase to the ground at the foot of the mountain and made your way over to the cave. Your bident materialized in your hand as you went, driving the spirits away from you. 

Tartarus was as cold as ever, making you shiver and goosebumps rise up on your skin. It was empty and evil and it made your heart spasm, but you had to go on. You made your way through the cave, following the tunnel until it opened up. The pit sat in the middle of the chasm; wide, expansive, deep, and extensive. The Phlegethon ran down into it, illuminating the walls of the pit until it was swallowed up by nothingness. You never liked to get too close to the edge, so you stood a good five feet away. Staring down into the pitch-black beneath you, you thought you could almost make out the bottom, but you knew that was impossible. It was too deep to see the bottom from up there. 

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. You had a task to do, and nothing was going to distract you from completing it.

You began to mumble spells in a tongue so dead that you barely remembered the meaning of the words you spoke. It was the language of the first titans, taught to you by your mother. The words coming out of your mouth conveyed your wishes to bind, to entrap, to keep, and to lock away. They came from the ancient magic you had used when you sealed your father away the first time. 

Your voice trickled down into the pit, the power it held no doubt soaring to the cage your father lay trapped in and strengthening, replacing, and adding to the protection around it. It wouldn’t take more than five seconds for your spells to reach their destination. You could always tell when they started to work because someone would answer.

Sure enough, a cold chuckle echoed out of the pit and a snide voice said, “Well, if it isn’t my favorite daughter. You’re a bit late today, aren’t you? Did something happen? Are you finally going soft on me?” His tone was mocking and not concerned in the least bit. 

You stiffened but continued to murmur your spells. You hated it when he tried to talk to you. It only distracted you, but you knew that was his goal. He always tried to disrupt your enchantments in hopes that he could weaken his cage.

Deep, booming laughter rang out of the pit, shaking the cave ever so slightly. “Why do you never talk to me, my daughter? It’s so lonely down here. If you insist on seeing me so often, you might as well make conversation.”

Ignore him.

You closed your eyes, blocking out everything other than the rituals you performed, muttering those words that had become second nature to you, trying to hurry up and finish. The sooner you could get out of there, the better.

“How was your day? I heard a commotion coming from the cave earlier. Were the spirits finally rebelling against you? Have you lost your touch?”

You exhaled sharply. 

“How is your mother doing? She never visits me. My darling, traitorous wife, who decided she loved her children more than me. Speaking of them, how are my other daughters? Are they reveling in the kingdom they stole from my brothers and me?” You could feel the malice in his words. There was always malice and hatred when he talked about you, your mother, and your sisters. He despised you with every ounce of his being, though he would always claim differently.

“You know, my love, if you were to release me, I could do so much for you. I never hated you. I was only afraid of you. You were destined to overthrow me and I couldn’t let that happen. That’s why I had to eat you. But I’m so sorry. If you were to set me free, I could be the father you always wanted. I know you, (y/n). I heard all your cries and pleading. I know you only wanted a father; know you wanted me to be a father for you. I know you wanted us to be a family. We can be that now. All you have to do is stop with your spells and set me free. You can do it. I know you can. I can give you all the love you craved. Just let me go.”

You refused, your voice growing in volume and intensity.

His anger rose from the pit, trying to grasp onto you. “Let me go! Release me!” He was done with bargaining for the day, turning to demanding and threatening. “I will kill you, (y/n). You’ll see. One day I will get out of here and when I do, you will be the first to feel my wrath. I will lock you in my cage, torment you with your failure, and keep you imprisoned for all eternity. You will never have known pain like the pain I will give to you.”

Blah blah blah.

You’d heard it all before, and, frankly, it was getting old.

You finished your spell, casting the last enchantment and finishing with your weekly ritual. 

You could hear Kronos groan as his restraints tightened. You took a deep breath and leaned forward, looking over the edge and staring into the pit, a satisfied smile on your face. “Not today, old man,” you whispered before turning your back to him and walking out of the cave towards your mansion. 

Peggy was sitting on a long couch in the lounge that sat just right of the entryway. Black furniture adorned the room with a single crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling, casting light over the space. A long black couch faced a wall of windows that overlooked Elysium. A low black coffee table which sat in the middle of the room acted as the focal point for a comfy armchair you had picked up decades ago and still loved, the long black couch, and a fireplace that burned with red flames on the other wall in the room. A wine glass filled with red wine that was tinted with the unmistakable gold of nectar sat on the coffee table and a large television was mounted to the wall above the fireplace. It was on low, a mortal sitcom of sorts playing. You couldn’t be bothered to learn its name, and it seemed that Peggy only had it on for background noise. Her attention was otherwise diverted to the dog whose head was on her lap. 

She rubbed at his ears absently, only looking up when you closed the front door behind you. Her brows were creased and her lips taut with worry. “Are you alright?” she asked again, like she did every time you came home from the pit.

“Will be after a drink.” You took a seat in your armchair and reached forward for the glass of wine on the coffee table. The glass was chilled against your fingertips—you always did like your drinks “as cold as your heart”—and you lifted it up to your lips. The sweet taste of nectar mixed with rich wine filled your mouth and you swallowed it eagerly. 

Peggy eyed you with a sharp laugh. “If you’re not careful, the other gods might think you’re an alcoholic.”

“Meh, they’ve had two thousand years to call me one. If they haven’t done it by now, they won’t ever do it.” You sighed and shifted in your chair, shrugging your shoulders and straightening up. “Now, do you want to hear about my day or not?”

She snickered, only resting her elbow on the arm of the couch and her chin in the palm of her hand. “Sure. You tell me all about your day. How’re your sisters?”

“Same as always,” you said with a fond smile. “Carol is still pretending to be the eldest and is still a great queen, Nat is still a smart ass but great. They’re still my family.”

“Mhmm. And, now will you tell me a bit about this god that got into Tartarus. You said he used the Dikteon Cave?”

“Yeah.” You scoffed. “James, god of spring. Demeter’s kid.”

“Demeter? (y/n), she has a real name you know. It’s Win—”

“Winnifred,” you finished. “Yeah, I know. He corrected me too.” You shrugged. “But, frankly, I don’t give a damn. If it pisses her off to call her Demeter, then great. It’s not like she’s going to hate me less for calling her by her real name.”

You and Winnifred went way back. She was almost as old as you were but fell short by just a century or two. She was the goddess of agriculture and the harvest and pretty much the protector of all life. She was kind to most of the Olympians; strict and stern if anything, but kind nonetheless. She was usually polite so long as you were kind back, but she was also really protective of her charges and plants. Naturally, she hated you. Why wouldn’t she? You were the goddess of the Underworld; you oversaw anything and everything death related. She blamed you exclusively for the death of her plants and all the life on earth (despite your attempts to explain to her that you were not the goddess of death and instead just ran the Underworld and those who were actually dead). She seemed to believe that you were pure evil and had a personal vendetta against her. She hated you.

You didn't care much for her either. Ever since she decided it was your fault that plants died and harvests were bad, she’d been nothing but a bitch to you. You were not one to take anybody’s shit without a fight and so you weren’t the nicest back to her. But if she was hell-bent on being on your bad side and treating you poorly, then you weren’t going to bend over backward to be nice to her. If she was going to be mean, you were going to be mean back. After all, you shouldn’t have to deal with that. You were a queen, one of the original three gods, and she was just some second-generation goddess with a fragile ego that was easily threatened. 

“Anyways,” Peggy said, diverting the conversation away from Demeter and turning it back to her son, “you found him at Tartarus and kicked him out?”

You nodded. “I also might’ve threatened him, but that’s beside the point.”

“You what?”

You laughed as you looked around the room for the bottle of wine. Your glass had run empty and you wanted some more. You spotted it back on the rack and held out your hand in its direction. Moving on its own accord, it plucked itself from the rack and floated into your waiting hand. You uncorked it and began to pour yourself another glass.  “Relax. You know I’d never follow through with it. Torture is so not my style. I just scared the kid. Whatever the case, I think I did the trick. Hopefully, he’ll never come back. But now we’ve got a perimeter issue on our hands.” You brought your glass to your lips and tilted your head back, taking another sip. “He got in way too easily. Some of our charms must be wearing off. We’re going to have to redo those. If something as menial as a young god can get in, then who knows what else can.”

“You’re not thinking…?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “The remaining titans—Helios, Atlas, Epimetheus, among others—they’re either loyal to us or trapped in their own special prisons. But who knows?” Your brows knit together. “One day they might decide that they wanna break their fathers out of jail and mine right along with them. One day they might decide that they’re above the gods, rebel, break out of prison, set the old titans free.” Your lips formed a thin line and your hand tightened into a fist. “They’re stronger than gods, they could break in through the cave easier.”

“So what do you plan on doing?”

“I dunno. More charms. New charms?” You snickered to yourself and looked out towards Elysium. “Maybe pull some of the old warriors from paradise to be on guard duty if they want it. Just imagine it: arming a bunch of dead guys with weapons from their time and putting them in armor. Ha! The old guys would get a hoot out of that.”

Peggy hummed with a smile. “Yes, I could imagine old Magnus from the Roman era and Eddie from 1942 pairing up together for guard duty. Frankly, I think the men would enjoy a little spice in life. I’d ask them if they’d be willing. It might throw any intruders off their rhythm if they were met with a small militia of ghosts.”

You stared at her, your eyebrows raised and an amused smile playing on your lips. “Did you just reference John Mulaney?” 

“Well, I suppose I did.” She smirked at you. “You’re not the only one who can make pop culture references.”

You chuckled. “I guess you’re right.”

She opened her mouth to make another comment, but she was cut off by a thud overhead. The impact of something hitting the roof rattled the chandelier, causing the crystals to cling together and ring out over the silence.

A slow smile crept over your lips and you leaned back in your chair. “It seems we have a visitor, Peg.”

She nodded, a smile to match yours taking over her own face. “He’s never here at this time. He must want something.”

You snorted. “Yeah, no joke.”

Knuckles rapped against the front door, the visitor’s way of asking for entry.

“It’s open!” you called, turning your torso to face the door.

It swung open to reveal a taller man, with brown hair, a slight stubble, and blue eyes that sparkled with mischief. He was dressed in dark pants and a tight black, short sleeve shirt with arm-guards strapped to his forearms. A quiver of arrows and a bow were slung haphazardly across his back. He wore a lopsided grin and tilted his head to the side. “Morning, ladies,” he said, his demeanor nothing but cheery. “D’you miss me?”

“Clint!” Peggy cheered, her smile only widening at the sight of him. “What a pleasant surprise!”

“Heya, Pegs. If I’d known you were going to be here, I would’ve brought you flowers or something.” He sauntered into the lounge and stole a seat next to her.

Cerberus barked at him, his tail wagging with excitement. He turned his head from Peggy and trotted over to Clint.

Clint’s eyes brightened at the sight of your dog. “Hey, boy! Gods, you’ve gotten so big, haven’t you?” He ran his hands through Cerberus’ fur, knotting his fingers in it and shaking his head. “I want a dog like you so badly, but Laura says no.”

You hummed. “M’sorry, Clint, but Cerberus is the only one of his kind. I don’t know of any other dogs that can grow to the size of a mountain with three heads. He’s unique, and he’s mine.” You turned your gaze down to him. “Aren’t you, boy? Aren’t you mine?”

He pulled away from Clint before dashing over to your side and plopping his head down in your lap.

Content to pet your dog and stroke his fur, you once more looked up at Clint. “Well, I like a surprise visit from our favorite messenger god as much as anybody, but I do have to ask what catastrophic event brings you to my door at this time? You never come unless you’re having trouble with a spirit or you want to use the damned for target practice. Considering the fact that it’s Pierce’s day to reap and you just got some target practice in, I’m assuming it’s neither of those; but then I have no reason for your being here.”

“You’ve got me. I’m not here for either of those reasons, but just to satisfy my curiosity.”

“About what?”

“Oh, about whether or not you kidnapped a certain god of spring.”

You sneered. “Is that what the rumors are?”

He nodded reluctantly. “Look, (y/n), I know you’re a good person and you’d probably never do something like that, but the sprites are talking and I wanted to get the story from you so I can go and squash those rumors before his mom hears them. You know that she’s not pretty when she’s angry.”

“And you know that she is practically powerless against me and is no threat.” You wrinkled your nose and rolled your eyes in a scoff. “I did not kidnap him, the idiot came down here of his own will. I rescued him from Tartarus and threw his ass out. He has no place down here and I will not tolerate trespassers, no exceptions.”

Peggy snorted.

“What?”

“No exceptions? Really?” She turned towards you and rested her chin in the palm of her hand, giving you a sympathetic smile. “Need I remind you about that Orpheus fellow?”

“Hey, that was a special case ‘cause I was feeling generous. Never again.” You shook your head. “Clint, you can go back and use your Hermes-voodoo-messenger skills to tell the nymphs and sprites and whoever that has the audacity to accuse me of kidnapping that he came down here himself and I will not be subject to false accusations and lies. Also, tell them not to gossip and spread rumors. It’s not good for the soul. I should know. I just inspected one earlier and—oof—did that soul gossip a lot.”

Clint let out a hearty chuckle. “I’ll be sure to pass the message along.” He leaned back in his seat, lifting his arms over his head in a large stretch. “Gah! How quickly do you want this message spread?”

“ASAP, Clint. I don’t want anyone thinking the borders are going soft or that they can just waltz on in and do whatever they please. That is not how I run my kingdom and that is not how I will ever run my kingdom. Peggy and I are taking certain precautions, and there will never, ever, be another invasion again.”

Next 4: His Mind Runs Wild

[idlecreature]

a mountain is a lovely, cold thing to surround one

Barnabas Bennett and Mordechai Lukas have an... unorthodox relationship. 

Barnabas has debts, and Mordechai makes sure he pays them. 

Vampire!Mordechai for Jonah Magnus Week! Part 1/Part 2/Part 3 

Rating: Mature 

Relationships: Mordechai Lukas/Barnabas Bennett, Jonah Magnus/Barnabas Bennett 

Content warnings: Dubcon, Unhealthy relationships, heavy on the internalized homophobia, the Lonely, manipulation (hence the dubcon warning), Barnabas does NOT die in this fic, happy ending for Barnabas because he deserves it rrrr  

Fragments from a letter written circa Christmas 1814 

—and I am looking forward to fainting at the sight of his sweet little face, Jonah! The splendid mane around his neck! Your little tiger, king of his jungle, king Ceasar, his croaky battle-roar as he runs down the hallway for his cream—

*

Barnabas has a sixth sense for earthquakes. In the hours leading up to one, he feels odd jolts in his bones, like someone is reaching through his skin and rattling him. He feels them where he broke his zygomatic process when his mother dropped him as a toddler, just to the side of his left eye. If he had a soul, he thinks that’s where it would live: in the part of him that was first broken. 

When he and Jonah are thirteen and eleven respectively, he feels his skull itching and watches the trembling of their school’s pet rabbit and the anxious pattern of birds wheeling, and on their tea break, he leads Jonah outside and takes the other boy’s hand and presses it to a patch of bare dirt beside the rugby field. 

“Do you feel that?” Barnabas asks. 

Jonah’s eyes narrow in concentration. His hand scrapes nonsense patterns in the dirt. “Describe what I’m supposed to be feeling?” 

Barnabas shakes his head. How does a thirteen-year-old describe a sense of inescapable doom? It feels like standing outside his mother’s room unbreathing and counting down from twenty before knocking. It feels like being sucked under a wave and not fighting as hard as he knows he should to resurface. It feels like waking up on a grey morning crying. 

The quake, when it hits that evening, lasts for six minutes. An entire epoch for a child. And Barnabas understands it’s no use knowing about an oncoming earthquake if you are powerless to stop it coming on. 

At least he has Jonah, whose dirty hand wraps tightly around his own. 

Despite what Jonah believes, there are some things that just can’t be explained in words. 

*

His skull’s been prickling in recent months. 

It’s gonna be a bad one. 

* 

—It’s freezing cold, and, oh, you know I feel the cold most cruelly. I cannot make myself warm with double-socking, or blankets over my knees, or hot bread and soup... nothing warms me, only the morning sun as she shakes her fiery head. I cannot wait for summer-time—

*

Isabel Blackwood is a saint. 

“Another slice of Three-kings-cake, B....Barny?” Isabel asks, her knife poised in the air. There are two slices left, and James has already found the bean. Her four children stand at her elbows, eyeing the cake with hungry, dark eyes, but they, too, cede to Barnabas. Even the little king bows. 

“Mr. Bennett, if you please,” Barnabas replies, aiming for a terse-but-gentle tone. “And I couldn’t eat another bite!” He pats his stomach in emphasis. 

“Come on, Mr. Bennett, it’s Christmas!” 

“Leave off, Mr. Blackwood,” Isabel says to her husband. She smiles at Barnabas as she cuts the two slices into four and divides them amongst her children. 

“Don’t wolf it down or you’ll make yourselves sick,” Isabel warns the two girls, Frances and Annie. 

The Blackwoods are decent folk, letting him come over for cake on Christmas. They were the first to sign up for Barnabas’ family charity earlier in the year; he has since taken on half a dozen more, but his closest working relationship is still the Blackwoods. The charity pulled the eldest, James, out of the workhouse and into an apprenticeship, made co-payments on lodgings that are just a step above their old squalid tenement, provided them with new ill-fitting clothes. It seems pitifully little to Barnabas, but the Blackwoods seem to worship the ground he walks on. 

You can’t be too friendly with people like that. It’s unfair to you both. It’s awkward enough sitting in their smoky central room, the air smelling like damp and soap and sweat and charcoal, in a tailored suit that may as well have been spun from gold, hands soft from white-collar work, clear-eyed and ruddy-cheeked. Look, his appearance mocks, how the world could be if it were not so cruel. 

Before Barnabas leaves the Blackwoods, the littlest one, Henry, gives him a tight hug. Henry tries to wrap his entire body around Barnabas’ middle, constricting him like a snake, and when he doesn’t seem to want to let go Isabel has to pry him off. 

“Don’t be so clingy,” she chides her son. She looks at Barnabas nervously. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Bennett. He’s somehow got it in his silly noggin that you’re his Uncle.” 

Barnabas looks at her in mute horror. “I - I - I should go,” he says, and makes a hasty exit. 

*

Barnabas runs a finger down the perfectly neat columns of his ledger again, double-checking every minutia of his expenses. He’s made a mistake, he must have missed something. He’s fifty pounds short of where he should be. 

His hands curl into fists. The absence of fifty pounds shouldn’t be a big issue, not for him and his big house and servants and nice things. But the charity is obviously chewing through more of this month’s allowance than he’s anticipated, and he needs to make some adjustments if he wants to be able to keep all the nice things and pay the servants and keep the debt collector from his door. 

This is why he shouldn’t let people become attached to him. Because he ends up disappointing or hurting them. People could starve and it would be his fault. 

A thick splat of water lands on his ledger, making the perfect lines run, and that’s just great, isn’t it? What are tears ever good for, when are they ever useful? He is just a very small cog in a very big machine, and now he’s getting ground up in it like the rest of them. 

But what else can he do? He must participate in the world if he wants it to change for the better, even if it’s a marginal improvement. He could live in the margins. 

He’ll find the money somewhere. 

*

—did you get my copy of Queen Mab? The Vice Society has declared it OBSCENE MATERIAL, and I mustn't be seen with a copy of it in my house, but you do not rely so much upon a good reputation. I hope you keep it safe. I hope you read it and I hope you side with P.B.S. and I. A good world starts with a good person and a few choices that are made with the heart—

*

Barnabas’s game of solitaire lies forgotten as he stares at Jonah.

They are more different now than ever. Barnabas keeps the company of bankers and lawyers and politicians, and Jonah runs with crackpots and devils and the insane. Jonah has fourteen powers; Barnabas has a list of names in his address book. People he barely knows, who remain in his orbit because of his good breeding, his impeccable reputation, and they still only half-listen to his pleading and his petitioning and his politicking. The people with the power to actually change the world; people he wants at arm’s length.  

But there’s just something about Jonah that makes Barnabas want to touch. He flares to gold with an audience; but, even now, curled up on his couch idly scratching between Julius Ceasar’s whiskers, he is a dim and majestic copper. There’s something undeniably old testament about Jonah; the fire and fury of creation, the self-annihilating stare of Lot’s wife. 

Jonah’s close to buried under the Millbank proofs spread over his lap, sucking gently on the tip of his pen, occasionally darting down to make some arcane adjustment on the design—just a penstroke or puzzling scribble. Mostly he just stares at the paper, eyes wide enough to look like holes in his face. When he gets like this, Barnabas can balance teacups on Jonah’s head without him noticing. The record is three. 

“Still keeping the elevator?” Barnabas asks. It’s just one of the many strange embellishments that Jonah’s insisted upon, putting it far outside the budget of any public works project. The price of Jonah’s fancies must run into the tens of thousands of pounds. 

“In my dreams, there’s a glass elevator to the top of my tower, from which I look down upon the imprisoned and the powerless,” Jonah says. 

“Taking cues from your dreams?” Barnabas replies. “You know only the desperately mad do that?” 

“Or desperately inspired—savants and prophets and visionaries.” 

“And prison wardens, apparently,” Barnabas mutters. He bites his teeth together, unwilling to work through this old argument. “Who’s paying for your dream towers, again? Think they might lend me fifty pounds for a project that actually is for the public good?” 

Jonah finally unpeels his eyes from his proofs, and Barnabas’s throat runs dry. Jonah stares until he’s got Barnabas squirming in his seat, and then he says, brightly, “Oh, I’m sure he would. I’m sure I could tell you. But I don’t think I will.” 

“Jonah,” Barnabas says irritably. “That’s very unfair.” 

“Oh, pish posh, life’s unfair, Barny, and I can’t believe that you in your infinite wisdom and your even more infinite disposition to share it can pretend that it isn’t. That the evil in man has made life unfair, that it’s just not the natural order to put some creatures above others.” 

Barnabas counters him an instant later. “Obviously, you stupid little man, not everyone was created equal, but it’s the good in man to want to put things to rights, to create a system where unequal creatures can be equal. Are you trying to make me angry with you by playing the devil’s advocate?” 

“Just testing you,” Jonah says in his alloyed voice, silver-and-honey-gold. 

“Well? Who’s this rich man then?” 

Jonah sticks his tongue out at him. 

“Alright, it’s getting late,” Barnabas says. He tidies his long-forgotten card game and makes ready to leave. 

“Wait,” Jonah says. 

“It really is getting on, Jonah, I promise you can tease me about secret benefactors some other day.” Barnabas stands up and stretches on his stiff legs. 

“No.” Jonah shuts his eyes briefly. “It’s very late. You should stay.” 

Barnabas shakes his head and makes his way out of the fire-warm lounge and into the cold front room. Jonah springs up, sending the proofs flying and Julius Ceasar yowling in annoyance and surprise, and Jonah follows close on his heels. 

“It’s raining,” Jonah says more softly. 

“It is Edinburgh,” Barnabas replies, but cold apprehension curdles in his belly. “I - I need to leave. I - I already visit you too often, Jonah, and you know what people say about you, and they might think that I’m.... I’m some kind of...” 

Jonah steps closer. “Aren’t you, though? ‘Some kind of’?” He reaches for Barnabas’s hand where it is clumsily buttoning his coat. “I know you, Barnabas. Your morality has only ever been a thin cover for your shame.” 

The blood drains from Barnabas’ face. “That’s very cruel,” he whispers. 

“It’s true,” Jonah says. He cants his head. “Haven’t you thought about why your morals don’t ever make you happy? It’s because you wield them like a sword, to keep yourself away from the world. A world that won’t ever accept you for who you are. A world that wants you to keep waving that heavy, sharp thing until you give up and throw yourself upon it. That’s your pain, Barnabas, that’s your fear. Whenever I look at you I can see it as easily as I see your face.” 

Jonah steps closer again. His chin touches Barnabas’s chest, and Barnabas can see the pulse fluttering in his friend’s throat. “It doesn’t have to be that way,” Jonah says. 

“It does,” Barnabas says, stepping out of his reach. “Because - because I’m still afraid, and I still love the world, even - even if to live in it I must throw myself upon my sword and die and haunt my own life, all at the same time.”

Jonah remains silent. If he is stung by the rejection, his expression doesn’t show it. He’s got that crinkle between his brow he gets when he has to solve two maths problems simultaneously.   

“Mordechai Lukas,” Jonah says, eventually. “That’s my moneyed friend. Tread carefully with him.” 

Jonah wishes him no goodbye when he shuts the door. That’s fine with Barnabas. He’s not the only one nursing fresh wounds. 

* 

—I confess since I’ve been away this time my need or my wish for people has absolutely fled. I have learned to love solitude, and I forget what it means to be lonely.— 

* 

Mordechai looms as large as a mountain and is beautiful in the way a portrait is beautiful—two steps removed from humanity. 

He tilts Barnabas’s head to the side, impervious to the muscles in Barnabas’s neck straining against him. 

“Hm,” Mordechai says. 

“I take it you’re not convinced by the moral position, then,” Barnabas spits out. His cheeks are burning, but Mordechai’s other hand is wrapped around Barnabas’s hip, stopping him from stepping away. 

Mordechai laughs; a strange thing, guttering as it starts, in contrast with his unmoving, lifeless, beautiful face. His thumb strokes Barnabas’s cheek despite Barnabas trying to shake it off. “No. But there are certainly other positions to consider.” 

“We’re in public,” Barnabas hisses. He looks pointedly at two women walking down the other side of the street. 

“Are we?” Mordechai murmurs. He’s still circling his thumb on Barnabas’s cheek, but his fingers press down on Barnabas’s carotid artery, taking its measure, making Barnabas’s vision swim with silver fish. 

“What - what vile magic -” 

“Just a glamour.” 

Barnabas processes this new information rapidly. “They can’t see us?” 

“Would you like them to?” 

Barnabas tries to shake his head, but it is locked in place, pulled as taut as a bowstring. The pressure is starting to hurt, and he rests against Mordechai’s hand for a moment to ease it. 

“Good,” Mordechai says, and releases him. Barnabas takes several staggering steps backward, massaging his sore neck. “Spirited, aren’t you?” 

“I can - I can work up a repayment plan, we can sign it at the -” 

“No,” Mordechai replies, his voice heavy with finality. “I decide how I am repaid.” 

Desperation is a harsh master, and Barnabas nods. He’d prefer to keep it off the books, anyway. An agreement between Gentlemen. 

“You will find my terms very agreeable,” Mordechai says. 

Barnabas swallows and feels the heat of his blush creep under his hair. There’s something in the way Mordechai looks at him that promises danger, but Barnabas only feels the anticipation of a fight, so strong he can barely keep it down. He takes his time to make sure he doesn’t sound too eager when he replies. 

* 

In the dark of his bedroom when Barnabas finally wraps a hand around himself, he isn’t thinking about Jonah, his many dog-eared fantasies, tired and sad Frankensteinian conjurations of the few ginger kisses they’ve shared, memories of Jonah flushed, excited, exerted stitched together and his own imagination filling in the rest—they’ve been friends for so long it’s completely understandable if Barnabas’ thoughts occasionally (privately, every night) run to intimacy. He’s trying very hard not to think about Jonah. 

He’s thinking about that strange, death-pale, flat-edged face, the terrible pressure on Barnabas’s jaw, the feeling of compression on his artery, the voice both mocking and stern in turns. Its appearance in Barnabas’s thoughts elicits a new and fierce shame. 

Barnabas rubs his chin, trying to chase the feeling of Mordechai’s hand. 

It’s almost comical, how quickly Barnabas’s shame runs to pleasure. 

* 

His fifty pounds arrives with an invitation. 

* 

The first time Barnabas visits Moorland house, he expects Mordechai to be waiting for him. But Mordechai is not there, and Barnabas is expected to wait. 

Moorland is certainly a large and imposing estate, perhaps once opulent, but it has been left to ruin. The building’s beams sag with damp; its tapestries are delicately laced with powder-white fungus; there is an atrocious stuffed albatross over the mantlepiece with half of its feathers snowed around the room. The grounds are pale and bare; an empty wind roils through. 

Barnabas is fairly certain that Moorland has three servants, but they whip around or disappear through doors when he tries to approach them. Barnabas’s own house is much smaller, but he has just as many in his staff; he suspects that Mordechai is not a rich man at all, just someone with a once-impressive but dead family name and an estate too large to be managed on a pittance. He wonders why Mordechai pretends otherwise. 

These thoughts slip through his mind like freshwater fish down a stream, but Barnabas wanders through the house contentedly enough. After a week he barely even notices the servants’ presence, save for his changing sheets and pressed clothes and the serviceable meals prepared set and left for him in at the kitchen table, in front of the unlit hearth. He eats with blackened silverware and tastes the neglect. 

After two weeks, Barnabas sails through the house in fraying silk undergarments and dusty, pink-tinged mink he’s pulled out of a room he can’t remember, his days blurring together in their monotony. He stops to wipe a sleeve at one of the many ancient, spotted mirrors and squints through the smear of dust at his reflection, trying to reconcile the person standing in front of him with the person he thought he was. Wasn’t he supposed to have a purpose here? Wasn’t he needed in London? There is poverty, suffering; but it is far, far away, and he is in a place it would never touch him. 

There are as many mirrors as there are portraits of Mordechai’s family, all exactly alike, his haunting beauty and domineering presence. Barnabas drags a finger down the paint of one of them, leaving behind a thin white line. A tally mark to as many days he thinks he’s spent in this place. 

He’s sitting at the kitchen table, clipping pearlescent roses from the garden for a floral arrangement when he thinks about all those mirrors, and how a ghost could wander this house trapped forever. If he covers up the mirrors, then he could leave. 

*

Mordechai returns when Barnabas no longer keeps track of days and nights; when the mirrors don’t make him think of anything in particular, although he wonders why half of them are shrouded or turned to the wall. 

Barnabas drifts down to the coatroom and threads his arms through Mordechai’s. 

“Welcome home,” he says dreamily. 

“Hello,” Mordechai says. Barnabas makes a small, disappointed sound when Mordechai disengages himself to unwind his scarf. He scratches his beard. “You’re in a biddable mood.” 

“‘Course I am. I’m lovely,” Barnabas replies. He presses himself to Mordechai, enjoying the whole, solid block of him. Mordechai’s hands are worryingly chilly, and Barnabas gathers them and blows on them gently. Once he finishes the task he settles against Mordechai again, pleased with himself. 

Mordechai forgoes a response but for tipping Barnabas’s head back and sucking an open-mouthed kiss against his neck, working the skin with his tongue and the slick coldness of his teeth, and, oh, this is the touch that Barnabas has craved these past days. He’s felt so forlorn without it, only he never realized. 

He’s gasping and moaning by the time Mordechai splits his skin open and drinks his blood. It’s only then, with his blood being pulled out of him in long, deep strokes, that Barnabas remembers with ice-cold clarity why he’s here; to repay a debt; and that he should be feeling rather a lot of either shame, or anger, pain, or worry, but instead he’s trying to rut his puffed-up prick against the vampire’s body. 

Mordechai licks the wound closed and kisses Barnabas, sharing with him the taste of his own blood. 

“Happy new year,” Mordechai says. 

[nerdforestgirl]

Note:  Hello!  Did you know that today is @rgbcn‘s birthday?  This isn’t much, but I wrote a story for her to celebrate.  She’s always been exceptionally supportive of my wizard stories, so I thought I would write about the first time Sheldon took Amy on a wizarding job.  Happy Birthday, Regina.  I hope it’s a great one!  <3

“Get your things,” Sheldon told Amy as he ran into their cottage. He panted to catch his breath. It had been a hard ride to get here back to his home and his wife.

“You're home!” Amy exclaimed as she ran over to wrap him in a hug. He had been gone for a few days, and she missed him terribly. At first she was worried that he wasn't excited to see her, but then he allowed himself just a moment to melt into the embrace. However, they didn't have much time to spare.

“Get your things,” he repeated.

“What things?” Amy asked.

“Your magic things. I... I need your help,” Sheldon said. Those last four words were hard for him to say, and they couldn't be said to anyone else. Sheldon could only be that vulnerable with his wife. However, it was true and time was short. He needed her to get her wand and whatever else she might need to help him.

The last that Amy had seen of her husband, he was on a simple job to help a local farmer increase his crop yield. Sheldon was to be paid in produce because he was friendly with the farmer, but he held nothing in his hands. It shouldn't have even taken a full day, let alone the three he had been gone, and he had never asked for her help before. About anything. He was her teacher as well as her husband, and other than the one time she helped him slay a manticore, she had never helped him with any kind of job.

Amy gathered her things as Sheldon asked. Then they were off without any more explanation. They both pushed their horses has fast as they possibly could go.

“There is dark magic on farmer Bert's land,” Sheldon shouted back. “It is darker and stronger than anything I have encountered before. There have been reports of things like this all over the kingdom, and no one knows for sure who is doing it.”

Amy hadn't heard of anything like that, but she didn't doubt Sheldon. He was not the type to play pranks. They pair rode on until they got nearer to farmer Bert's land. Amy could feel it in the air. It felt foreboding, and her horse slowed no matter how much she urged the mare on. She didn't blame Daisy. She wanted to turn around as well. Still they pressed on.

“What is that?” Amy asked Sheldon.

“It's a dark spell that saps the life out of anything it touches for too long. Bert's wife, Maybell, has taken ill, and all the crops are dead. I tried everything I could think of,” Sheldon told her. She could see it wasn't easy for him to admit that he needed her help.

“I brought a healing potion,” Amy offered.

“I have given her two and Bert one of his own. They help for a while, but it does not cure.”

They finally arrived to where the rows and rows of crops should be, but Amy could only see black on the earth. It looked like a fire ravaged the land, but Sheldon assured Amy that it was the dark magic. Sheldon and Amy went up to the house to meet with Bert and his wife, but they didn't tell Amy Sheldon hadn't already filled her in on.

“What do you want me to do?” Amy asked. She desperately wanted to help Sheldon and Bert.

“We are going to lift the dark magic. When I attempt it on my own, it falls faster than I can lift it,” Sheldon explained. Amy had read several books on things like this, so he knew she could assist in the spell. Even without full training, she was stronger than he was now.

Amy wasn't so sure. She hadn't ever tried anything like this before, and she could feel the land draining her as she stood. Still, she followed Sheldon out to the field. They held hands and focused on the spell.

“Balance,” they said in unison.

With the word, Amy could feel the evil leave the place they were in. Under her feet green grass appeared where there had only been dirt and dead plant matter. She beamed at Sheldon because that really didn't seem so hard.

Then it hit. The dark magic bounced back as if they had done nothing.

“Dammit!” Sheldon swore. Amy had never in her life heard her husband use such language. She wondered if it was the effects of the dark magic on him as well. She could feel her mood and power were dampened by this magic. His must be affected as well.

“Again,” he yelled. It reminded her of that night when he put her through a pain trial to bring out her magic. He wouldn't dare hurt her again like that night, but he was clearly angry. Still, Amy nodded and they said the spell again. And again. And again.

“Sheldon,” Amy whispered. She was certain that she would faint if they did it again. She needed a break. She had pushed herself this hard, but Sheldon never had. He had never asked anything more of her than she had to give.

“The land will be ruined forever,” Sheldon told her.

“Just a moment. Please,” Amy begged.

“Once more,” Sheldon ordered.

“Balance,” Amy said as she felt the ground going out under her feet. She never hit the ground because Sheldon caught her. She didn't lose consciousness, but she was severely weakened. He took her to a tree to let her rest. There was no shade because all the leaves were gone, but at least she could sit up against the trunk. Tears started to fall from his eyes because this was the only thing he had left to help. Sheldon might have seemed cold and distant to people who didn't know him well, but he had a big heart. He wanted to help. He needed to help.

Sheldon started to dig through Amy's bag to get her something to eat. In his frustration, he started throwing her potions onto this cursed ground. He knew he would never do that if it weren't for the effects of the curse. It darkened his mood more than he expected. He opened his mouth to apologize when something caught his eye.

Then he noticed that near one of the broken bottles was a spot of green. It did not fill in with black again like when they did the spell. In fact, the green was very slowly spreading from where the potion bottle lie smashed.

“What is this? What did you bring?” Sheldon asked his wife frantically as he pointed to the healed spot on the ground. He would move her there if not for the broken glass.

“I do not know. Is there a label on the broken pieces?” she asked. She had grabbed most of her supply of potions as they left, but she didn't know what all she had taken. However, it seemed that something worked against this powerful dark magic.

“It just says, 'light,'” he said he showed her the label. He didn't know of any potion called “Light.” It must have been short for something.

“Light? It did all of that?” Amy asked. The small spot of uncursed land was spreading very slowly. They needed more potion to fix all the land, but she felt better already as it started to spread to where she sat. However, it was clear they would need more to fix all of the land that was cursed.

“What is it?” Sheldon asked with a smile. He felt much lighter standing on this green patch.

“It was something I was playing with after I read that book on advanced potion making. The book said that new potions were rare now, but they could still be made if the wizard could tap into something that was their true essence. I spent those three weeks you were in the lowlands a few months ago playing with it. It turned into something, so I kept it. I didn't know what it would do, but it was gold and happy and bright. I thought I would call it light.”

Sheldon smiled. Of course Amy's true essence was light. She was pure sunshine and happiness and power. That was what this broken land needed. It needed Amy.

“What did you put into it?” Sheldon asked frantically. They could save Bert's land after all if they could just make more of Amy's potion.

“Some of your apple jam. The first rain in spring. The prettiest flower in the garden. A beautiful drawing from a book of fairy tales. Cooked over a fire made from a passionate spark,” Amy listed as she strained her memory. The potion hadn't worked on anything she had tested it on, and she wouldn't have even brought it if she had paid any attention to what she was grabbing. She was shocked it did anything here.

“We have to go make more,” he said as he helped her up. They ran to their horses and rode home just as fast as they had gotten there to begin with.

Sheldon jumped off his horse and went to gather all of the apple jam he could find. He knew they had a supply of the first rain of spring in the cottage. It was a fairly powerful ingredient that was used in other potions. Amy ran to gather the most beautiful flowers as well as all of her fairy tale books. She didn't want to destroy all of that lovely art, but she knew that the drawings were full of magic all on their own. It took a special person to make something so lovely and pure. Still, that magic was needed to save them from the dark magic spreading over Bert's lands.

When Sheldon and Amy met with the ingredients in the cottage, Amy kissed Sheldon right on his lips. He was about to chastise her for wasting time, but then she smiled and lit a spark with her fingers. A passionate spark.

Sheldon had never seen a potion like this. It seemed fairly normal at first, but as Amy added the apple jam, it turned a bright pink. Then blue with the first rain of spring. Then red with the flowers and green with the drawing. He had never seen something so bright and wonderful. He would make her make more when he had the time to study it. Then as she stirred it, it became bright gold just like the sun. Just like Amy.

They bottled as much as they could so that they could rush back to Bert's farm land. There they recruited him and Maybell to help them spread the potion in carefully measured intervals. From there, they watched as the dark magic faded and the brilliant green of the plants returned. It took the rest of the day, but they had destroyed every trace of dark magic from the area.

“Do you know who did this?” Amy asked Sheldon as they rested in Bert's kitchen. Bert and his wife were making the pair a meal to thank them for all of the work. Amy had offered to help, but they assured her that they wanted her to rest as she was the wizard who helped fix their land. She was a wizard all on her own. This might have been the first job on which Sheldon asked her help, but it would not be the last. He had already asked her to go into town with him the next week for help on some work for the king. She was his associate now. No longer his student. She proved her worth and more on this day.

“I have heard rumblings about a new dark sorcerer in the area named Kripke. I suppose you and I will need to be paying him a visit soon. We can't have our friends and neighbors terrorized by someone like that,” Sheldon said. Then he happily accepted the plate of food put in front of him.

“What is this?” Sheldon asked. It looked good, but he had never seen anything like it.

“It is a new invention by my wife. It is bread with tomato sauce and cheese on top of it,” Bert said. Supplies had been low while the dark magic had slowly taken over the land. They assembled this with what they had on hand.

Sheldon took a bite and proclaimed that it was his new favorite food. Amy tried it and agreed it was quite impressive.

[emospritelet]

Homecoming - chapter 13

Yes, I know, it’s been months. Apparently I needed to see gifsets before I could work on this again, but here we are! I get them out of London and on their way north, which is good, because Things are going to Happen when they get there...

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9] [Part 10] [Part 11] [Part 12] AO3 link

x

Belle had enjoyed the Christmas festivities a great deal more than she had expected. She had spent a pleasant couple of days reading in the library, chatting with Ogilvy and the Professor over tea in the afternoon, or over a glass of wine at dinner. She had also spent time with Alice, who had kept her promise to ask her dressmaker to make up a gown for Belle from the bolt of blue silk she had been given as a Christmas gift. Madame Etoile was pleasant and polite, gushing over Belle’s face and form, and the colour of the silk. It would perfectly set off her pale skin and chestnut hair, Madame Etoile remarked, smiling broadly as she ran small, neat hands over the gleaming cloth.

There was some discussion over styles, once her measurements were taken, Madame Etoile’s pattern book filled with the latest fashions from Paris, and Belle was excited by the prospect of having a new gown in such a fetching colour. It would certainly make a change from the more staid dresses that she had been wearing during her time as a governess, and she hoped that she would get more than one chance to wear the gown. It would be ready for its first fitting when they returned from their journey to Lady Tremaine’s house in the north of England.

The day after Boxing Day, a letter was received from Lady Tremaine, who pronounced herself “delighted that you will be visiting my humble home and confident that you will be able to rid me of the evil entities that dwell there and steal my rest”. Ogilvy read this line aloud over breakfast, in a very dry tone and with one eyebrow raised. It made Belle want to giggle, and Alice snorted in amusement.

“When shall we go, Papa?” she asked eagerly, and Ogilvy passed the letter back to the Professor before picking up his piece of toast and marmalade.

“Her Ladyship informs me that she’s travelled back to the North, and has invited us for the New Year, so I should think we can set off the day after tomorrow,” he said. “That should give Hatter plenty of time to pack the cases. You know how he likes to plan these things.”

“What did Lady Tremaine say about us staying at that cottage?” asked Alice, and he shook his head, chewing a bite of toast. He took a sip of coffee to clear his throat.

“Unfortunately, it’s been undergoing quite extensive repairs,” he said. “She’s asked us to stay at the house instead. I did mention that we were planning on bringing quite an entourage, but she doesn’t seem to object. I hear Willowbrook Grange is extensive, so I daresay she’s got the room.”

“It’s only the four of us, and the twins,” protested Alice. “And Hatter and Ivy, of course, although I don’t imagine that would be an issue. Ivy can come, can’t she?”

Ogilvy looked at her over the top of his glasses.

“Well, someone’s going to have to dress you and Miss Marchland,” he said dryly. “I'd like to to remember that Lady Tremaine has invited other guests to a shooting party, and that she plans “a series of entertainments”. If you think I’m suffering that with only Doc for company while you two lounge around in the library, you’re mistaken.”

Belle glanced between them, surprised and a little alarmed by the prospect of Lady Tremaine’s reaction to the governess attending a house party.

“I’m sure she wouldn’t want me there,” she said quickly, and Ogilvy switched his gaze from Alice to her.

“We expect Lady Tremaine to consider you a guest, Miss Marchland,” he said quietly. “I shall insist upon you being treated as an equal, I assure you. Not only because you’re part of this family now, but also because I think your good sense and logic would be of use to Doc and myself in this investigation.”

“We’ll need all the good sense and logic we can get, judging from that letter,” remarked the Professor, spearing a piece of bacon with his fork. “Her Ladyship appears to be convinced that she’s been marked by the Devil himself.”

“Well, perhaps we can put her mind at ease,” said Ogilvy, picking up his coffee. “At the very least it will give us a change of scene, and some good clean air. From what I can recall, the lake country is very beautiful, and Lady Tremaine is said to have stunning gardens. Perhaps they would add a little something to our morning walk, if - if you would accompany me, of course.”

He was looking at Belle expectantly, and she couldn’t help smiling.

“I should be delighted.”

He returned her smile, his eyes crinkling, and turned back to his breakfast. She resumed eating her own, trying to ignore the pleasing little flutter in her belly that appeared whenever he smiled at her. Over the past few days she had grown to know him a little more, spending her evenings in the library, or discussing books and music after dinner. He was very knowledgeable, and well-travelled, as was the Professor, and she had listened eagerly to their reminiscing, although she was sceptical about the far-fetched nature of some of their stories, and thought them embellished for her sake, and for Alice’s. They could not really have discovered a nest of demons in the tunnels beneath Exeter, for example, but she had enjoyed the tale, nonetheless.

She had spent more time with the children, as well, getting to know their quirks and assessing how far along they were with their schooling. Neither could read or write much beyond their own names. With one or two notable exceptions.

“Please write your names at the tops of your slates, as neatly as you can,” said Belle, setting a clean slate in front of each of them.

The schoolroom was light and fresh, a cold draught finding its way in under the sash window, and Belle kept an eye on the twins in case they started to shiver. She watched as they scratched out their names in wobbly letters, Nicholas scowling at his slate.

“Very good,” she said, when they had finished, making a mental note to work on their writing. The letters were recognisable, but they would need to learn to write with a better hand. “Now show me what else you can spell.”

The twins looked at each other, then back at their slates. They made no move to write, and Belle decided to prompt them with some simpler words. Her eyes flicked to where Charlie was curled up in a patch of sunlight by the window.

“Can you spell ‘cat’?” she asked, and the twins shook their heads.

“I can spell ‘shit’,” announced Nicholas. “Old Bartholomew down at The Turk’s Head showed me.”

“Oh, I can spell ‘shit’ too!” said Ava eagerly, and Belle closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again.

“Well, I would hope you won’t find the need to put that word into any formal correspondence,” she said dryly, making them giggle. “Perhaps we should run through the alphabet before putting any words together.”

She also spent time with Alice, who seemed to enjoy having another woman in the house, and one that she could talk to almost as an equal. Belle thought that Ogilvy and the Professor had done an excellent job of raising her, considering the start she had had in life and the lack of a wife in the house to act as a mother figure. Alice was curious and intelligent, eager to learn new things and incredibly excited at the thought of going on a journey. She chattered away as Belle packed her valise, sitting on the bed in her usual familiar way.

“I heard that Willowbrook Grange is haunted,” she said. “So Mrs Wolfe says, anyway. Maybe that’s what Lady Tremaine has asked Papa and Doc to help with. They don’t always deal with hauntings, you know. Doc says sometimes the spirits just like the place where they used to live, and that we shouldn’t throw them out of their own house just because it makes us uncomfortable. Of course, sometimes they’re trapped there, and then he and Papa help them to cross over. They wouldn’t be able to come back if they didn’t, you see.”

“Come back?” said Belle curiously, and Alice nodded.

“Come back as someone else,” she explained. “Another life.”

Another life. Perhaps she believes as Mr Ogilvy does. Past lives.

“Do you believe in ghosts?” asked Belle, folding a blouse, and Alice beamed.

“Oh yes!” she said. “I used to see them all the time in the alleys before I came here. Poor, lost souls, they were. I wish Doc could have helped them find a way out. I don’t think any of them wanted to be there.”

She chewed at her lip, looking sad, and Belle tried to change the subject.

“I hear the house is very grand,” she said. “I’m sure I shall feel quite out of place.”

“Of course you won’t,” Alice assured her. “You lived at Furton Grange, didn’t you? I’m sure Lady Tremaine’s house can’t be any grander than that.”

“Perhaps not,” allowed Belle. “I wish my new dress had been ready for the journey, though.”

“You shall wear it when we get back,” said Alice. “For my birthday, perhaps. That’s in February. The dress will be ready by then. We can have some music and dancing, like at Christmas.”

“That would be very pleasant.”

“You can dance with Papa,” she said. “He’s very fond of you, you know. He smiles a lot more, since you came.”

Belle could feel a slight blush in her cheeks, and she turned her attention to the stockings she was packing to hide it.

“I’m - I’m glad,” she managed. “He’s been very kind. You all have. I’m very happy that I came here.”

“We’re glad too!” said Alice. “It felt as though something was missing from the house, and then you came!”

She reached for Belle’s hand, squeezing it, a wide smile on her face, and Belle couldn’t help smiling back. Yes. She was very glad to have found this little family, and to be considered a part of it.

x

They departed early, Hatter hailing a cab to take them to the station at Euston, and another for he and Ivy and their cases. They would be breaking their journey in Derbyshire, Lady Ella having sent an effusive letter inviting them to stay at Furton Grange, and Belle clasped the children’s hands as they walked swiftly along the platform through clouds of billowing steam. Ogilvy helped each of them into the carriage, and Alice glanced back over her shoulder as she mounted the train, face alight with excitement.

The twins were wide-eyed with curiosity as the train made its way out of London, faces pressed to the windows of the compartment as soot-blackened buildings gave way to scattered villages and then rolling countryside, swathed in white blankets of snow. Belle and Alice started a game with them, asking them to point out churches along the route, but after awhile they grew bored, and sat back against the cushioned seats. The Professor produced a bag of toffees, which kept them quiet for long enough that Belle and Alice could share a brief conversation about Furton Grange, and the gardens there.

“I suspect there’ll be far less to see at this time of year, of course,” said Belle. “Although Lady Ella always did enjoy the Christmas celebrations. She always had a very large Christmas tree in the hall, and kept it up until Twelfth Night.”

“I bet her Christmas tree isn’t as pretty as ours,” said Ava stoutly.

“Well don’t tell her that,” remarked Ogilvy, from behind his newspaper.

“Miss Belle says we should always speak the truth,” said Ava, and he let the top half of the newspaper fold over, glancing at her over the rim of his glasses.

“And Miss Belle is quite correct,” he said. “Although if it comes to a choice between telling the truth and protecting someone’s feelings, sometimes it’s best to remain silent.”

“I can’t deny that,” said Belle, when the twins turned their gaze to her. “One should always aim to be kind where one can, of course.”

“What if someone’s nasty?” asked Nicholas. “Do you tell ‘em they’re nasty because it’s honest, or do you say nothing because that’s the nice thing to do? How will they know they’re nasty if you don’t tell ‘em?”

“I’m afraid I don’t have an answer to that,” said Belle. “Perhaps if it’s something they can change, it’s appropriate to say something.”

“Oh!” said Ava, with a look of understanding. “So it would be mean to tell old Bartholomew he’s got a big nose, because he can’t change that. But it’s alright to tell him he smells, because he can go and have a wash, can’t he?”

There was a snort of amusement from the Professor, which he turned into a cough. Belle closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them Ogilvy was watching her with a twinkle in his eyes.

“I think perhaps there are more tactful ways to speak to people,” she said. “We can move onto that sort of thing after you’ve worked on your letters.”

“We can spell ‘shit’, Mr Ogilvy,” announced Ava helpfully, and Belle wanted to put her head in her hands.

“That sounds a bit like your vocabulary at their age,” remarked the Professor, and Ogilvy grinned.

“Well, I improved vastly with time and patience,” he said. “I have every faith in Miss Marchland’s abilities, as well as Ava and Nicholas’s.”

He turned back to his paper, and Belle shared a brief, pained look with Alice.

x

They had to change trains at Derby, taking the branch line to Matlock. Lady Ella was to send a carriage to meet them, and looking out of the train window, Belle hoped they would not have to wait too long. The snow was falling again, thick white flakes drifting down as the sky darkened. By the time they had alighted from the train, the twins tired and fractious, it was fully dark, but Belle was relieved to see Hatter already conversing with a tall man in a black greatcoat, beside a large black carriage. The man bowed solemnly to them, and opened the door to the carriage.

Belle well remembered the journey from the station to Furton Grange, a jolting, winding ride of thirty minutes or so. She and Alice held the twins on their laps, bracing against one another to avoid being thrown around, and Ogilvy and the Professor held tight to the leather straps at the side of the carriage, their walking canes wedged against the opposite seats to keep their balance. Belle whispered in Nicholas’s ear as they turned the final corner, the dark mass of Furton Grange lit up from within, sending sharp wedges of warm light out across the smooth carpet of snow.

It was a fine house, two hundred years old, the sweeping driveway providing a welcome break from the rutted road leading to it, and Belle could see servants hurrying from the house to greet them. Lady Ella appeared as they were being led up the wide steps, dressed in ivory silk and with a fur stole draped around her thin shoulders to keep out the winter cold.

“My darlings!” she drawled, swooping in to press a kiss to Ogilvy’s cheek. “How wonderful to see you! Do come in and warm yourselves. There’s barely time to change before dinner!”

[mrswhozeewhatsis]

21 Supernatural Questions

Thanks to @sammit-janet for helping me procrastinate tonight!

1. When did you start watching Supernatural?

Early December, 2014. I’d been sick for a month, already, and had run out of other shows I wanted to watch. I decided to watch that show that Misha Collins was on that my goddaughters used to watch. I got through 9.5 seasons by Christmas. That first hellatus was awful, and it’s how I got into the fandom. I needed more, found con videos, then fan fiction, and the rest is history!

2. Who is your favorite in TFW?

It depends on the day. I usually say I’m Winchester-sexual, angel-curious!

3. Who is your least favorite in TFW?

Ugh. I don’t dislike any of them (though I miss BAMF early-seasons Cas who didn’t bleed much and could do things regular hunters couldn’t like see demons’ faces). If I had to rank them, I probably obsess over Cas the least.

4. Tag your top 5 Supernatural blogs.

You’d ask me who my favorite children were, too, wouldn’t you? Not falling for that!

5. Who is your favorite character (not including TFW)?

You’re killing me. You’re really killing me. I CAN’T PICK. Chuck? Donna? Jody? Rowena? I love John and Mary, but I don’t get squishy when I watch them on the show. Charlie? I literally squealed and frightened my husband when we saw AU!Charlie the first time. Ellen? There are too many and you can’t make me pick!!

6. Who is your favorite woman in Supernatural?

Donna. She kicks ass and calls it butt.

7. John or Mary?

Gonna quote @sammit-janet directly, cuz she said it well: “Both.  I know people hate one or the other, but you cannot look at these parents with real-world glasses.  John had the mother of his children burned on the ceiling and he had no fucking clue about the Supernatural until then.  Once he did, he was on a mission to find whatever killed his wife.

“Mary made a deal to save the man she loved.  She would have stopped Azazel that night in the nursery too, but Michael erased her memory.  Now that she’s come back, well, don’t you think it’s a little disorienting to spend 32 years in heavenly bliss and then get thrust back down to earth and find out her children are living the exact life she didn’t want them to?

“Also, don’t forget, EVERYTHING was stacked against them.  Heaven made 100% sure that they got together just so Sam and Dean could be born and play out the apocalypse.”

8. What were your first opinions of Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack?

Sam: Tall, but the hair, and he’s a baby, I feel like a pedophile.

Dean: Older, still tall, wiseass, heart of gold, if he loves pie, I’m a goner!

Cas: HOLY FUCK.

Jack: If he’s good, I will hold him and love him and squeeze him and call him George. If he’s evil, I will cut him down with the flames of a thousand burning suns.

9. What’s your favorite season?

I really don’t have one. I have seasons I love more, and seasons I love less, but none are my favorites. The writing in the beginning was tighter, and felt like there was an end coming, which made it more electric. But I really love watching the boys grow and change and make better, smarter decisions, or make stupid decisions for bigger, better reasons. I dislike the degradation of angel powers, though. I mean, remember when Cas could smite an entire diner of monsters or demons with just a bright light, but this season he was beaten to pulp by a demon gang? And now that Heaven’s gates are all open, can Cas fly, again? I mean, they couldn’t fly because the closed gates cut them off from Heaven, but now the gates are open, so LET CAS FLY, DAMMIT.

10. What’s your least favorite season?

Season 7, although that season does have an inordinate amount of things I like about it, so it makes no sense. Story-wise, I get it. They had to systematically take away everything the boys valued in order to leave Sam the destroyed mess he was when Dean and Cas disappeared. I don’t like it when my boys hurt, but I understand why they did it. On the other hand, season 7 gave us Charlie, and Frank, and Garth, and Kevin, and numerous dick jokes, and Sam tied to a bed, and Cas naked on Dean’s car covered in bees. So torn, but when I rewatch the series, I take a deep breath when I start season 7. (During my most recent rewatch, I also took a breath when Toni Bevell came onto my screen, so I guess I now put 12 in with 7.)

11. Opinions on Destiel?

Canon - Dean is straight. He’s said multiple times he doesn’t swing that way. I wouldn’t object if the writers decided to change that, but I respect Jensen and the writers in their decision not to go that way. There are more and more diverse characters on our screen every year, and I’m okay with letting Dean be a cis het white male who loves women of all kinds. I would love if they did a Human!Impala episode and the Impala turned out to be John Barrowman, though. On the other hand, Cas is completely unconcerned with gender and sexuality, so I wouldn’t mind seeing him have a romantic thing with a guy. Pretty sure that would break the fandom, though, so not holding my breath.

Fanon - Holy cheeseballs, that boy swings harder than an old-time saloon door, and I love reading about him being so open to everyone. Give me all the guys banging Dean like a screen door in a hurricane. Dean is all the door metaphors and memes, including the memes about Cas loving to destroy doors. Show me these two idiots falling in love any way you got it. They were roommates, you say? YES. There was only one bed, you say? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP. Dean’s a fireman and Cas is a nurse? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME??? BRING IT.

12. Do you believe Supernatural queerbaits?

Not intentionally, or maliciously, but I can see why some folks might think that, sometimes. It’s a fine line the show writers have to balance on when it comes to scenes with Dean and Cas because of the fandom’s obsession with Destiel. They want to show the love between the two characters as brothers, but it can’t be too much love. (However, I sometimes wonder about certain things. I would love to sit down with Jensen, Jerry Wanek, and Robbie Thompson, show them certain moments, and ask why certain decisions were made regarding framing, editing, props, and such. If they weren’t thinking Destiel, what were they thinking??)

13. Seasons 1-7 or 8-14?

You’re asking me to pick my kids, again. 1-7 is Kripke writing, 8-11 is Robbie Thompson writing, NO NO NO YOU CAN’T MAKE ME DECIDE.

14. Favorite villain (plot wise)?

Crowley

15. Do you think they should end the Lucifer plot line?

YES. I’m cool with watching Nick progress into a big bad, but keep Lucifer in The Empty. (I just had a wild thought about The Empty, Lucifer, and The Shadow coming for Jack. Lord, I hope I’m wrong.)

16. Who do you think has gone through more trauma (Sam, Dean, or Cas)?

Quoting Sammit again: “Sam.  He found out he had demon blood in him, was one of Azazel’s “chosen”, died by being stabbed in the back, went to hell for 100 years, lost his soul, was driven mad by Lucifer, almost died doing the trials, was possessed by Gadreel…did i leave anything out?”

Dean and Cas have also had their share, but if you want to quantify it, I think Sam has had more. 

17. What’s your favorite Supernatural episode?

Baby, Dog Dean Afternoon, Don’t Call Me Shurley, most of the other episodes writing by Robbie Thompson, too.

18. Do you like case episodes?

They are a nice breather in between the episodes where I can’t sit back for  moment.

19. Who do you relate most to in TFW?

I switch back and forth between Dean and Sam. I relate to Sam wanting to go to college to get away from his family, I relate to Dean’s eating habits, I understand why Sam’s done all the stupid shit he’s done, and I understand Dean not wanting to delve into things because it’s hard. Oh, and I say awesome almost as much as Dean. Cas, though, is a mystery to me. The only time I relate to him is when he’s confused by pop culture references.

20. Why do you like Supernatural?

The characters. They’re just so fucking interesting, you know? And (with some notable exceptions) the writers have managed to keep them from getting too far away from who they were in the pilot, while showing them growing and changing and improving. I love the world, I love the fantasy, and I love how universal they all are. I mean, if you took characters from another show and put them in a Beach AU, I wouldn’t be able to see it like I can with these characters. They’re awesome.

21. If you could bring back one character and kill off another who would they be?

Keep Lucifer dead, bring back Frank. I also want to see more of Linda Tran. Or Ellen, though I don’t know what they’d do with her with Mary around. I’d say Crowley, but I know that will never happen, and I understand why, so I’m letting him go.

Tag yourselves!

[metawitches]

In episode 5 of Snowpiercer, LJ goes to trial for her part in the murders of Sean and Nikki, Josie goes uptrain to search for Andre and Miss Audrey takes action to ensure that Melanie will get Nikki the justice she deserves. The Folgers pressure Melanie to go easy on LJ. Bess moves in with Jinju and gets a 2nd class chip implant to go with her bourgeois 2nd class privileges.

It’s a tough episode for Melanie, but she manages to find some stress relief.

Recap

We begin with Andre, who is sealed up tight in a drawer. He normally looks so robust, despite 7 years in the Tail, but now he has a grayish cast to his skin. The version of kronole used as a suppression drug is so poisonous that it gives the entire body a death pall, while turning the insides jet black, which can be seen externally by viewing the gums.

As Nikki claimed, it’s not like sleep. He’s having a combination of flashbacks and dreams. He’s back in the Tail, reliving memories of subduing the cannibal cult. That story was real, and largely happened the way he told it, if these dreams reflect reality. But he killed the cult leaders alone, at the insistence of the rest of the Tail, using a shiv they’d created, instead of the story about group solidarity overcoming an evil villain that Andre told in the Drawers.

The Tail leaders did all share in eating the heart, including Josie, Pike, Last Australian, Z-Wreck, Strong Boy, Big John and Lights.

Interspersed with his memories, Andre hears Nikki singing Sealed with a Kiss, the Bobby Vinton song that LJ played for him. He repeatedly sees Nikki’s bloody, mutilated body standing at the end of an aisle in the Drawers, singing the song, staring at him as if she’s the evil little girl in a horror movie.

Was it trading away the ring that doomed him?

Andre knows that he hasn’t really gotten justice for Nikki. He’s gotten an errand boy killed as a literal sacrificial lamb and sent a 1st Class designer accessory out to take the fall, so the mob can feel like someone uptrain paid for the murders of Thirdies.

The person or people who are really responsible, the ones who ordered all of the murders, are still untouchable, free to order more murders when someone gets too close to their business dealings or secrets.

Layton thought he could put his revolution above individual justice, but his dreams are keeping him honest. The bodies of the victims have probably gotten progressively more gruesome with each murder because they’re being used to send harsher and harsher warnings.

Has his subconscious mind figured out who’s ordering the murders, and who they’re warning off?

Miss Audrey’s spoken voiceover: “I see now that as the Freeze killed everyone I ever knew, I mistook my survival for freedom. But justice never boarded and Wilford doubled down with a jackboot on our throats and a fat finger on the scales. Now, some of us are ready to change his terms. It will be perilous, filthy work. More precious souls may be lost. But we didn’t come this far, suffer this much, to give in to the same tyranny that destroyed us in the first place. Even on a frozen dead planet, humanity needs hope. For these are our revolutions on Snowpiercer, 1,001 cars long.”

Audrey is in the empty Night Car, holding a photo of Nikki from before the Freeze. Did they know each other then? Audrey looks ten years older than she does when she’s performing, onstage or otherwise, as she silently weeps for Nikki.

Snowpiercer has taken its toll on her, as it does on everyone.

Her assistant pokes his head in to signal they’re ready. She nods to confirm that it’s time to enact their plan. In 1st Class, one of the Night Car staff switches places with a busboy from the 1st Class dining car. He pulls out a covered dish from the underside of the cart and places it on top.

It’s lunchtime again for Lead Brakeman Roche. LJ is in the cell and she’s as fascinated by his perfectly formed and packed lunches as I am. She asks him questions about himself, but gets no respect. He remains silent, until he finally tells her that anything she says to him is admissible in court.

LJ doesn’t care, because she’s innocent, so she can’t incriminate herself. Since he won’t tell her how he and his wife met, she tells him that her parents met in St Moritz on a chair lift.

Of course they did. The frozen Swiss playground of the rich and amoral.

She’s just getting around to threatening him a little when Melanie brings the Folgers in. It’s LJ’s trial day, so she gets to go home and prepare. Melanie makes sure she understands that she’s on trial for murder, will be judged by a tribunal of ticketed passengers and will be expected to testify.

Melanie says that Wilford will be following along with the trial. Robert is glad, so that Wilford can see how silly the accusations against LJ are. Roche gets angry, since the Thirdies are taking the trial very seriously. They want justice for their 3 victims. Guess that first victim from years ago, when LJ was 12ish, is back on the table.

Lilah reminds Melanie that LJ is a minor child and the actual murderer is dead. Melanie says this was just the required pretrial detainment.

There’s no provision for a judge or Wilford to determine whether she should stand trial as an adult or a minor then? Because it seems like she’s being treated as an adult, but she was arrested based on evidence that only pointed to Erik, not her. Andre made up the rest of the story and she didn’t argue with him, allowing him to persuade her into becoming a public sacrifice.

Rewatch the scenes if you don’t remember it that way. Layton does the talking and LJ never admits to anything, beyond recognizing the J-hook and being close to Erik, neither of which was a crime. She fully cooperates with the investigation. Layton makes up a scenario he finds plausible, then exaggerates it further to make sure 3rd Class will hate the spoiled 1st Class suspect.

He turned her into another Nikki, so Nikki is haunting him. As a cop, he knows the murders aren’t over.

On her way out of the garrison, LJ tells Melanie that she doesn’t belong in the drawers and she just wants to thank Mr Wilford for the chance to prove it.

Roche and Melanie agree that there’ll be trouble in 3rd if she isn’t convicted.

Josie treats the remainder of Suzanne’s arm, which has developed a serious infection. It’s revealed that Josie was a vet before the Freeze. She’s qualified medically to help Suzanne, but has no supplies to work with and no way to keep a wound clean. Winnie brings Josie a new message from Astrid, asking Josie to meet her in sanitation today.

Bess and Jinju are moving in together, which means that Bess gets a shiny new 2nd Class chip inserted in her hand. The Notary and the Doctor go through a little ceremony with them, in which Jinju promises she’ll be responsible for Bess during the probationary period. If Bess makes a mistake, Jinju will be punished too.

With that, Bess is granted access to 2nd Class and all of its entitlements. The officials offer congratulations, then leave the lovebirds to their celebration. They’re both sure about their relationship and very happy. Three months is the longest Jinju has waited to move in with someone.

Still Snowpiercer’s most adorable couple, with no serious competition.

Back in their own car, the Folgers worry that something could go wrong during the trial, leading the tribunal to convict their daughter. Lilah wants LJ to rehearse her testimony again. LJ is distracted, playing a game, then wondering what it’s like in the drawers. Finally she asks Robert if she can… pop out his glass eye and mess around with it, putting it in her own mouth and pretending it’s a mouth-eye.

Robert chuckles, but Lilah is impatient and insists they get serious. She tells LJ to remember to tell the jury, “He forced me.”

LJ: “He did force me. You do know that, right?”

Robert: “We know that, sweetheart. We know.”

Lilah silently walks away. Maybe because she doesn’t believe LJ, maybe because she feels so helpless.

As the breakfast rush empties out of the 1st Class dining car, Ruth orders her assistant, Tristan, to stop staring out the window. He explains that he used to dream of seeing the Amazon, so he likes to watch it when it goes by. As lacking in imagination as ever, Ruth snaps that now it’s just a frozen lump. She tells him to set the car up for the Tribunal once everyone is gone, using the usual floor plan.

Weren’t we led to believe that there had only been one tribunal, Nikki’s? Or did they just mean there had only been the one murder trial, but there have been trials for other, lesser crimes? If there are regular trials, that makes it even more important to root out unfairness in the system.

Audrey’s replacement busboy wheels his cart into 1st Class and over to Sharma’s table. He says to enjoy the dish, complements of the Night Car, then leaves the dining car while the dish is still covered.

Ruth has taken notice of this unusual display- Sharma didn’t order anything and breakfast service is over anyway. Sharma lifts the cover just as she’s telling him not to. Inside, the dish is live bugs served on top of dead bugs. While everyone screams, Ruth sends Tristan to get Melanie.

Melanie visits Miss Audrey in the Night Car and says, “That stunt was beneath you, Audrey.”

Audrey: “No, it really wasn’t.”

If Melanie won’t play fair, neither will Audrey.

Melanie expresses her condolences for Nikki’s death. But she doesn’t understand Audrey’s anger, when there’s one suspect in custody, waiting to stand trial, and another is dead. What more does Audrey want?

Audrey says that the trial is a joke, since it takes place 5 miles uptrain, with a jury made up of passengers from 1st and 2nd, who are judging whether another upper class passenger killed three of her people from 3rd. They have no motivation to find one of their own guilty.

Melanie: “The Night Car is supposed to be Switzerland. Why are you politicizing it?”

Audrey has a thick book open on the counter. She points to it now: “Third has the right to petition Wilford in labor disputes and matters of jurisprudence. We want a new tribunal drawn. One representative from each class. And a delegation to observe the trial.”

Audrey says that Melanie used to try to make a difference, but working closely with Wilford has hardened her. Melanie remembers when Audrey told Wilford she wanted the Night Car to be more than the brothel he envisioned. Melanie backed her up when she explained that she thought the train would need a place to work through their grief. Now the train depends on Audrey and her vision of the Night Car as that place. If Audrey overtly takes sides, her club will no longer be a place where everyone feels welcome.

But Audrey sees her role as the caretaker and voice of the needy on the train, the ones Wilford and Melanie might forget. She might have been separate from 3rd class in the beginning, but she’s seen how much more they suffer than 1st and 2nd. She’s not the type to stand by and do nothing.

Melanie walks the train everyday, so she’s no stranger to its conditions. But people share their inner lives with Audrey in a way they never will with Wilford’s mouthpiece.

Audrey: “We depend on you… On your voice to Wilford’s ear. Recommend a new tribunal.”

Melanie tries to call Audrey’s bluff, the way she did with Lilah, but this isn’t a bluff. Audrey reminds her that Thirdies work in every department of the train and they can make life very difficult.

And with one significant pause, Audrey hints to Melanie that she knows the truth about Wilford.

Melanie’s next stop is the Drawers, where she asks Klimpt what his autopsy showed about how the suspension drug affected Nikki. He says she had necrosis of her adrenal tissue and hepatic insufficiencies, but he didn’t have enough time to find out whether she would have regained her normal mental state. She wasn’t fully detoxed when she died.

In other words, in addition to all of the obvious side effects of the drug, Nikki’s liver and adrenal glands were severely damaged. This is a terribly unethical situation to continue to keep the other Sleepers in.

Jinju asks if the Sleepers have Locked-In Syndrome, a rare disorder in which patients are fully conscious but unable to move or communicate. Klimpt says they might. He insists that the Sleepers need to be awakened more slowly than Nikki was.

That won’t cure the damage to their internal organs.

Melanie says they have 400 drawers, which someday might all hold Sleepers. They have to make sure the Sleepers won’t wake up traumatized. Klimpt says he’s trying.

That’s a lot of prisoners and experiments and a lot of concern for their welfare when they wake up. Something else is going on here. Is she hoping to eventually sell spots in stasis to the highest bidder, so Firsties can sleep through the rest of the ice age instead of using up resources and growing old?

They should start by using a drug that doesn’t turn sleepers’ mouths black.

Jinju has heard the rumor that the Thirdies want a spot on the Tribunal. Melanie is considering giving in. She tells Jinju that LJ may get what she deserves. Jinju doesn’t look as certain as Melanie that it’s a good idea.

Up in the engine, Ben and Javi are also skeptical about upsetting the status quo, especially Javi, who thinks pushing the Firsties too hard will aggravate the train’s class divisions too much.

Which leaves Melanie stuck, since 3rd is already aggravated. She asks Javi to take the wheel while she speaks to Ben privately.

Melanie and Ben go to her cabin, where they have an afternoon quickie on her desk, not even pausing to move Mr Wilford’s paperwork.

What will the boss think???

Afterwards, Ben lies in Melanie’s tiny single bed and says they haven’t had sex since the bees died. He’s sensing a pattern.

You think??? The woman really is a death goddess.

They briefly indulge in remembering what they miss most- Melanie wishes she could open a window or go for a walk. Ben misses the sound of rain. When he asks if she’s really going to change the rules for the tribunal, she says she just wants to breathe.

The tribunal is chosen using ping pong balls randomly drawn from a cage, the way bingo numbers are chosen. Each passenger is assigned a number. The Voice of the Train announces that Mr Wilford has agreed to allow a 3rd Class member on the Tribunal, so one name has been chosen from each class.

Ruth’s face makes it clear that this decision is sure to bring on the general downfall of civilization.

The tribunal members are Firstie Edith Gusterfeld, 2nd Class primary teacher Mary-Elizabeth Gillies, and Thirdie papermaker Walter Flemming. 3rd Class cheers their representative as he makes his way to Hospitality.

Josie has joined the sanitation crew again so she can search for Andre. At break time, Astrid knocks on the second door in the break room and tells the Tailie crew that Josie should meet Terence the Janitor in the Market, at the symbol of the yellow butterfly. She and Josie switch clothes so that Astrid can take Josie’s place until the next break.

Melanie greets the tribunal members as they arrive in the hospitality office. The tribunal members are friendly and open with each other as they get acquainted, even the Firstie, Edith Gusterfeld. She laments that she doesn’t get to mingle with other classes more.

Ruth: “Doesn’t Mr Wilford understand that you can’t just change the rules?”

Melanie: “I guess they’re his rules to change. He chose the will of the people.”

Ruth: “We don’t have will. We have order.”

Ruth walks out. Her assistant opens and closes the door for her.

Guess Ruth missed the page in the Big Book of Snowpiercer’s Rules of Order that Audrey pointed out earlier.

Till and Oz are tasked with bringing the delegation from 3rd to the 1st Class dining car. He accuses her of having joined the bourgeoisie. She retaliates by asking if he’s still trading drugs for sex. He says his probation is almost over. She says she wants to stay at the trial long enough to hear Jinju’s testimony. They achieve a truce of sorts.

He gathers the delegation and makes a speech instructing them to act like people rather than animals while they’re uptrain, then he and Till lead the delegation the 5 miles from the Night Car to the 1st Class dining car, accompanied by a unit of jackboots.

As the delegation moves uptrain, Robert tries to convince Lilah that everything will be fine. But Lilah understands the truth: “You don’t see what’s happening, do you? There’s an idea traveling uptrain, Robert. It wants to live, this idea. It wants to set the train ablaze and all it needs is a spark. All it needs is to wrap its thick fingers around your daughter’s throat and choke her out for the working man.”

Lj enters the room and Lilah tells her they should continue working on her testimony. Lilah must have gotten through to Robert, because he tells her he’ll take care of it.

From Lilah’s prediction to Layton in the drawer, having nightmares about the cannibals in the Tail. It’s not clear if these are accurate, if jumbled, memories, but I’m assuming they are. If so, it’s a strange story, since everyone else made Layton face the cannibals alone. When Layton told the story, he made it sound like most of the Tail had fought the kill cult.

He looks like he might have been drugged into taking the job, as if the rest of the Tail tried to send him back to the cannibals to be their next sacrifice and got lucky when he killed the cannibals instead. He puts Miles up in a bunk to keep him safe. Everyone wishes him luck as they insist he has to save them. Mama Grandé gives him a weapon, then he charges the cannibals’ lair.

Josie finds the Market, then one of the janitors finds her and brings her to Terence at knifepoint. Terence hasn’t been paid for this meeting and is only interested in how it might benefit him. Josie explains that they think Layton is in a drawer. Terence suggests that Layton might have made Wilford mad and have gotten “his head stuck out a port.”

There’s a fun thought. That would certainly make it hard to identify his body, unless you knew him really well.

Terence and Annie were considering taking a trip to the drawers themselves, so they decide to go along with Josie that afternoon, while the train is distracted with LJ’s trial.

Robert and a delegation of Firsties, including Sharma, Eugenia and Martin Colvin, meet with Commander Grey to discuss a regime change. Robert makes it clear that he’s not a bigot. He’s just a conservative attempting to maintain order. It doesn’t do anyone any good for Thirdies to get ideas above their station.

Grey asks if Robert is speaking as a citizen or LJ’s father. Robert says both. The rest of the delegation stand behind him. They’re all afraid that 3rd will come for their children. Grey says his job is to uphold the rules. He doesn’t make them.

Eugenia says that since Wilford has locked himself away, he’s grown out of touch with the needs of the people. Grey points out that Wilford has “the skills to keep us all alive.” He asks what Eugenia brings to the table. She says she has hundreds of millions of dollars in early investor status and “a whole world of pain when it comes to my survival.”

What does that threat mean? She’s talking to the man who commands the only remaining standing army. How does she think she’ll physically harm him? Does she have nuclear codes that she thinks will still work? A mobster shadow army?

Sharma interrupts Eugenia’s rant and explains that they’re fine leaving Wilford to himself. They’re more concerned with the day-to-day aspects of running the train- everything that isn’t military and infrastructure- and feel they’d do a better job in charge of those aspects. Grey asks about Melanie. Robert says she’d be the first to go.

Grey nods slightly, but stays silent.

I thought Grey hated Melanie and wanted her out, but something about that conversation makes me think he knows she’s Wilford and supports her. Kudos again to Timothy V. Murphy. He kills it in this role.

Martin Colvin turns out to be one of Melanie’s spies and runs straight to her with the story. She asks how Grey reacted. Colvin says the Commander just stared at them, coldly.  She tells Colvin she’ll speed up his renovations.

As they leave for the trial, Lilah gives LJ a few last minute reminders: cry contrite tears, make eye contact and be sincere. Robert pulls his Lilahs in for a family hug. A jackboot escorts LJ to the trial.

In the dining car, Ruth acts as judge to keep order during the trial. She says that tribunals are called to handle cases of crime, conspiracy or negligence. LJ is accused of 2 counts of murder.

Roche is the first witness: “Once the accused was apprehended, the brakemen did a full and thorough search of the Folgers’ quarters. There we found the most striking evidence in the case. Hidden in Lilah Junior’s jewelry box were the particularly preserved, severed penises of two male victims.”

Tristan brings out a jewelry box with the souvenirs in it and shows the Tribunal and the crowd.

I hate to discredit Roche, but every witness in this trial has serious issues. LJ looks shocked when the jewelry box is brought out. If it was found in her room, shouldn’t she and her parents have known and been prepared for this testimony? More importantly, it would have been simple for one of the brakemen who searched the room (cough *OZ* cough) to plant the souvenirs in the jewelry box or even just in the evidence file later, in order to falsify evidence.

Most importantly, no teenage girl hides severed penises in her jewelry box, where her mother might find them while looking for a pair of earrings. The souvenirs would have been hidden more carefully. A jewelry box is the kind of place a man would think a woman would put them and would have easy access to during a search when he wanted to plant evidence. Roche may or may not know the evidence was planted.

Erik could have also known he was in trouble and have planted them there to implicate LJ.

Let’s remember how many men have died in recent episodes, from Tailies to butchers to Erik. Penises to preserve and use as false evidence aren’t hard to come by on Snowpiercer. But my guess is that they found the appendages when they searched Erik’s hidey hole in the storage closet, then planted them to ensure LJ’s conviction. Erik was the serial killer and collector, not LJ.

Next up is Dr Pelton, who did her very first autopsy on Sean Wise. She was led through it by Layton, but now she’s an expert, embellishing her findings as well. As she discusses her findings, Tristan shows the J-Hook around, which now has LJ’s fingerprints on it.

That would explain why LJ sat in front of Layton and made the chopping motion with it.

Sometimes I’m extra slow on the uptake. This why I write 10k word recaps instead of 1 page police detective reports.

Dr Pelton: “Sean Wise was bound and choked multiple times with a thin ligature. He was very much alive when his genitals were chopped off.”

Moving on, the Tunnelman who found Sean’s body plays up the horror of finding such a coldly mutilated human being. If you’ll recall, when Layton and Till interviewed him at the cannibal lunch counter, his only emotion was impatience at having to tell the story a second time, since he’d already told everything he remembered to the brakemen.

Then it’s Jinju’s turn. She sells LJ up the river as the criminal mastermind who controlled Erik, her serial killer puppet and partner in a wicked conspiracy.

Jinju: The whole time, Erik’s focus was Lilah Junior. I was as much her hostage as I was his. (Jinju takes a long look at LJ.) That was what they wanted, Erik and LJ, to kill us all in a nihilistic rage. But the Eternal Engine is still here.”

In fact, Erik said “she” had predicted something and Jinju asked if he meant his girl. Erik ignored her. A little later, Jinju repeatedly asked him his name, which he ignored. But Erik was careful to make sure Jinju wasn’t harmed, even when he shot at the electrical box and knew he was about to die. There’s no evidence that the “she” he referred to was LJ and there was no way for Jinju to know what he was thinking about, unless she’s psychic.

Miss Audrey testifies on behalf of Nikki. She tells her listeners that Nikki was a beautiful person who’s been ignored by the upper classes, just like 3rd Class always is. But it’s time for them to start caring, because they depend on Thirdies for their lives to run smoothly. Meanwhile the Thirdies suffer physical hardships 2nd Class and Firsties don’t experience. Miss Audrey says that she hasn’t come to her current political stance easily. In the beginning, she agreed with Wilfred’s order. But after 7 years, the train needs compassion and justice for more than just the rich.

She says Nikki’s name, in a nod to the “Say Her Name” movement, as the crowd erupts. Ruth calls a recess, after which LJ will testify.

Annie the janitor stops Klimpt as he’s on his way back to the trial and pickpockets his keys to the drawers. Josie, Terence and Annie break in, then the two janitors quickly steal large quantities of chemicals, probably the suppression drug or its precursors, and leave. They toss Josie the keys to the individual drawers on their way out and wish her luck, assuring her this isn’t personal, just business. Josie also pockets a few tubes of medication, likely including an antibiotic for Suzanne.

Melanie pulls Lilah aside in the corridor and warns her to stop her political machinations.

Lilah: “Let me tell you a Folger family story. When LJ was 7, she put out Robert’s eye. Lashed out with a fork and punctured it all over his face. And even as the jelly was running down his cheek, he held her through the tantrum, protecting her. So you go ahead with your Hospitality show trial and prepare to suffer the consequences. Because you’re messing with my bloodline.”

Lilah walks away. A group of passengers is standing several feet behind Melanie, undoubtedly eavesdropping, ready to spread the story of LJ’s history. Rather than proclaim Lilah Junior’s innocence to the train, Lilah’s defense strategy is to turn her daughter into a force to be reckoned with, just as LJ wished for in her conversation with Layton about cannibalism.

As always, the eye story may or may not be the whole truth. It doesn’t matter, just like it doesn’t matter with the testimony against LJ. The point is that Lilah claims royal privilege for her daughter and has already proven in words and deeds that she’ll back it up with a scorched earth war against Melanie if her child comes to any real harm.

Josie frantically searches the files and open surfaces in the Drawers, hoping to find something that will indicate which drawer Layton is in. She knows she doesn’t have time to open 400 drawers.

LJ swears to tell the truth, then goes straight for the contrite tears her mother suggested. She says she loved Erik, but he had a power over her that left her afraid and confused. She’s unsure whether that was really love, but Erik said it was.

She looks straight at Melanie when she gets to the important part.

LJ: “He made me watch him do terrible things and I can still hear those men begging for it to end. Uh, but Erik said fear makes people honest. I think that’s true. Sean Wise, just before he died, said he was an informant, a spy for Mr Wilford. Sean said that shadows and lies were taking over our beautiful train, from tip to Tail, from Ag-Sec to the Drawers. “400 hundred secrets that rock us to the rails,” he said. But he would never spill them. (LJ speaks to Ruth) Can I say this part to Mr Wilford?”

Ruth: “Yes, he’s following along.”

LJ: “I am so sorry for the part that I played in this tragedy. I was silent when I should have spoken, but Sean Wise gave his life to save humanity from the darkness that almost swallowed me whole. If the train shows me mercy, I promise to do my part for her, too. That’s all I can say.”

She stops crying to make her promise and looks Melanie directly in the eye. Melanie has been visibly distressed during LJ’s testimony, since she understands that Sean knew and spilled her deepest secrets. LJ offered to trade her silence for her life and help she could give Melanie in the future. Melanie has to wonder how many other people know her secrets and whether LJ wrote anything down and hid it, maybe in a letter sealed with a kiss. This is a turning point in Melanie’s strategy of violently silencing anyone who finds out that isn’t already a close ally.

Ruth calls another break while the Tribunal deliberates.

Josie seems to develop some sixth sense for which drawers hold Tailies and opens a few. The first two hold children who’d been chosen for the apprenticeshop program, Mia and a young boy. Layton is in the third.

Melanie and Jinju retreat to the Hospitality office and discuss LJ’s testimony.

Melanie: “Maybe he told her the drawers are experimental. Maybe he told her about the list.”

Jinju: “Well, that changes the calculus, doesn’t it?”

Melanie sends a note to Ben and Javi through the vacuum tubes. Javi doesn’t like what it says. He’s mad that he’s even working in the engine. He confronts Ben about his relationship with Melanie.

When Josie can’t wake Layton up, she removes a wrist cuff which results in his heart stopping. Oz and Bess are outside in the hall and notice that the Drawers have been broken into. They investigate and find Josie hiding in the drawer with Layton. Oz pulls her out and brutally beats her until Till knocks him out with her baton.

Till, like everyone else, thought Layton had gone back to the Tail. He’s convulsing and barely has a heartbeat. Josie injects him with something which begins to bring him around. Till tells her they have to get out of the Drawers before they get caught.

The Tribunal finds LJ guilty on all counts, by unanimous vote. Jinju and the teacher look especially pleased. In the engine, Ben tells Javi that he has to follow Melanie’s orders for the worst case scenario. Javi doesn’t think Melanie should interfere with the results of the Tribunal. Ben sends a message to the 1st Class dining car.

Ruth reads the message, which says Mr Wilford is commuting LJ’s sentence due to her status as a minor. The 3rd Class delegation explodes into a riot as the Folgers and the rest of 1st Class are rushed out of the dining car.

Till helps Josie drag Layton to Zarah’s place in the Chains. Josie tells Zarah that Layton was drawered and the Tail needs to be able to trust her now. Zarah pretends she doesn’t know about the blue chip. Josie rushes back to sanitation to relieve Astrid. Zarah helps Layton up to one of her hiding spots.

Melanie has a chat with LJ in the Hospitality office about discretion and secrets. Jennifer Connelly earns her pay with some excellent line delivery, as she tries to convince LJ to play by her rules from now on. LJ promises to keep Mr Wilford’s secrets and look out for his well being, but she also seems overconfident. She thinks she’s safe, but she’s now also a very important pawn, since she’s been exposed as the Folgers’ greatest weakness and as a danger to Melanie. She might not go to the drawers, but accidents can happen to anyone.

Till returns to the Drawers for Oz. He’s gone, but the wall next to where he was lying is marked with red blood and black scuff marks, as if a fight took place. It’s not from his fight with Josie. Who found him there and who won the fight? The jackboots?

Layton continues to convulse, with Zarah holding him down so he doesn’t hurt himself. He remembers bringing a heart out from the cannibals’ section of the Tail and slicing it up. Everyone took a piece and said, “Never again,” before eating it. He remembers Strong Boy, Mama Grandé, Santiago, Josie, Lights, Z-Wreck and Last Australian. No one says OneTail.

Then he wakes up and opens his eyes. He doesn’t know where he is, but Zarah is curled around him and kisses his forehead.

Commentary

Will try to add more screen caps soon.

Cannibals, Sacrificial Lambs and Switzerland

The themes of this episode are cannibals, sacrificial lambs and Switzerland. Sacrificial lambs in the sense of a symbolic sacrifice made by a group which is meant to take the place of the group itself. LJ takes the place of 1st Class. Suzanne’s arm took the place of all of the other rebels who escaped, most especially her own lamb, Winnie. Layton may have unknowingly entered the cannibals’ lair as a sacrifice rather than a protector. The shot of him placing Miles out of the way symbolizes Miles as the potential lamb he’s replacing/protecting.

In the film, children tasted the best, so the cannibals went for them first. People place great value on their children, so they would make the best sacrificial lambs. Curtis gives up cannibalism and eventually sacrifices himself for the children in the film. Layton defeats the cannibals in the Tail. But Melanie makes a deal with the 1st Class cannibals uptrain in order to protect her secrets, though she tells herself it’s to protect the train.

The cannibals and the Swiss are nearly equal symbols in Snowpiercer, with the cannibals admitting that they are motivated by their worst impulses, while the Swiss pretend they are neutral. They have situational morality and thus define what is right as whatever is good for the wealthy and powerful, sacrificing the moral beliefs that drive most of the world’s great religions on the altar of greed and ambition.

As Audrey pointed out, though Melanie defines herself as separate from 1st Class, in her actions she is actually no different from them. It becomes more clear with every episode that Ruth considers herself a de facto member of 1st Class, though it’s not clear yet why she believes she’s above the rest of the senior staff. Ruth enjoys every bit of class based injustice she hands out.

The irony of this episode is that 3rd Class was looking for real change, but would have accepted LJ as a sacrificial lamb, had she received a punishment commensurate with her alleged crimes. The problem is, no one would willingly allow their only child to be sacrificed to appease an angry mob, not even the most amoral of gangsters. By convincing LJ to let herself be caught, Layton hit 1st Class in the one place they couldn’t easily defend. They might have abandoned another adult to their fate, but not a child. Now 1st Class doesn’t trust Melanie to protect their children and 3rd Class doesn’t trust her to give them the justice they deserve.

I suspect that the discovery of Mia and the other boy in the drawers will have the same effect on the Tail. I don’t know how Layton could have planned for Josie to find them or if he saw clues while he was in the Drawers as an investigator that led him to believe Mia was in one. But now the Tailies have another reason to rebel, since their children are being taken, experimented on and left to die. Since no new babies are being born in the Tail, in a sense they have nothing left to lose. The apprenticeship program was the one beacon of hope for the Tailies. If they think that’s a lie, there’s no reason for them not to tear everything down.

Lilah is a bit of a Cassandra. with a very strong sense of  where things stand on the train. I think she’s more than just a classist Firstie interested in staging a coup, though she is that. She also wants to preserve the status quo for the safety of her daughter more than anything else and can see how badly a class war would affect the train as a whole. While she’s willing to make the threat of war to protect her daughter and to go through with it, she’d rather win with a bloodless coup.

Lilah and Melanie have called each other’s bluffs now and made the other back down. They’re testing each other’s limits, and sooner or later, they’re going to hit the point where neither will back down.

Or Melanie will find that she’s hit Audrey’s limit on the other side, if she didn’t do it with her pardon of LJ. Audrey wanted a show of justice and Melanie gave her hollow spectacle. Now Layton is waking up to further stir the pot in 3rd and the Tail.

Amidst the talk of cannibals, there’s also been talk of eating utensils. Now that he’s an apprentice, Miles has his own fork. LJ put out her father’s eye with her fork. There are knives all over the place on the train. Jinju’s are some of the sharpest. Roche’s lunches and Melanie’s dinners are precisely made but don’t require a utensil.

Don’t be fooled by 1st Class with their love of money and jewels. On Snowpiercer, food and emotional ties are the true valuables and the best weapons.

  Zarah was very affectionate with Andre once Josie was out of the way, giving hope to my shipper heart. Andre seemed to melt into her more than he did with Josie as well.

I missed Andre in the present day in this episode. At least they found a clever way to include him and he was only sidelined for one episode.

Now that LJ is free and clearly had what she needed to free herself, I can forgive him for his part in her arrest and trial and be angry at Melanie for experimenting on children instead. What the heck are Melanie, Jinju and Klimpt up to? It seems like they’re attempting long term stasis, but Nikki’s results should be enough to stop the drug trials and pull everyone out.

How on earth does Melanie justify doing such dangerous experiments on children when there are so few left in the world? We knew she was cold and classist, but I had hope that she wasn’t as bad as she seems. Apparently, she’s worse. So is Jinju, though she always seems like she might have no choice but to go along with whatever Melanie wants.

And what is the list Melanie and Jinju mentioned? Is it a naughty list or a nice list? Is stasis solely for criminal and political prisoners, or is Melanie afraid it’s the only way humans will survive the Freeze?

Please, can a Tailie computer hacker walk by those server banks and get curious? Or can Javi defect to the rebels and explain what they’re for? We’re shown them multiple times an episode. That’s not a coincidence.

Josie tells Terence that Layton isn’t the dying type. Is this another hint that he was sent into the cannibals alone as a sacrifice but unexpectedly survived?

Wow, Ruth is really invested in the system and the rule of unchanging order. Like to a pathological degree. Maybe Erik was her hitman.

I bet Ruth loves the Big Book of Snowpiercer’s Rules of Order. Where did that book come from? Is it a covenant between Wilford and the passengers?

So Josie is actually a medical professional. The visuals were confusing me. Sometimes it seemed she was just comforting the patient while someone else was doing the doctoring.

Now that Josie’s seen what’s happening in the drawers, will she be instrumental in solving the detox issue or improving the stasis drug? As a vet, she might have a slightly different knowledge base to work from than Klimpt and Jinju. Plus, she has some real world experience with kronole that they don’t have.

Why on earth has Melanie left so many professionals with valuable skills back in the Tail? I’m never going to get over that. Plus, if the train is emptying out cars that were used for food storage, why can’t the Tail expand into some of those?

Melanie could incorporate the Tailies into the rest of the train much more quickly than she is. It’s hard to guess how much she’s dragging her heels because she likes having the example of the Tail to use to scare the rest of the train into doing what she says, so they don’t end up starving and in rags; and how much she needs to integrate the Tailies slowly to keep the resentment of the ticketed passengers to a reasonable level.

Miss Audrey Is Much More Than a Pretty Face

Miss Audrey’s look during the opening sequence is the result of a masterful blend of cinematic techniques which are used to add depth to her character. Audrey (and Lena Hall, the actor who portrays her) is a beautiful, glamorous woman. But in this scene, she looks older and harsher than we’ve ever seen her. Instead of a pampered star, she looks like an aging working class night club manager.

Miss Audrey also looks like a survivor with the moxie to take on 1st Class and Melanie. She’s fought a few wars of her own and isn’t afraid to get down in the dirt. She may work in show business, but she’s not Norma Desmond from Sunset Boulevard. She’s Rick Blaine, the world weary café owner from Casablanca. She knows who she is and who her people are.

She’s chosen her side, because there is no true neutrality, even in the real world.

Switzerland is actually a wealthy country which caters to the wealthy of the world. It’s far from neutral; it simply chooses to protect the wealthiest class rather than taking sides in politics, as Melanie attempted to persuade Miss Audrey to do. Switzerland chooses to remain neutral in political disputes between the factions of other countries and regions not out of some moral position, but rather because choosing sides would interfere with its business transactions. Far from promoting morality, the country facilitates the high crimes and safeguards the fortunes of some of the most morally corrupt people in the world.

Melanie tries to argue that if Audrey takes the side of 3rd Class, she’ll inconvenience the upper classes, who then might feel uncomfortable in the Night Car, affecting business and affecting the mental health of the train, since the Night Car functions as a therapy car. It’s a circular argument which doesn’t take into account the mental health or physical wellbeing of 3rd Class, by assuming the wealth of 1st Class is what keeps the Night Car in business.

Miss Audrey’s look in this scene is achieved through several techniques, such as lighting, hair, makeup and camera work. The lighting is deceptively golden, tricking the eye into thinking it will soften her features, but there’s an underlying clarity of tone to the color and a harshness to the contrast that the shadows bring.

The camera is also in such sharp focus that it brings out every fine line in Miss Audrey’s face, probably because of the lens that was used, but I’m no cinematographer. It’s hard to see this in a screen cap, but if you have a good TV or other screen, pause the scene in a few spots and take a look at how they worked to make the lighting and focus unflattering to Lena.

Lena also positions herself to make her face look sad, old and unhappy by gritting her teeth and tensing her jaw and neck. Her makeup, which is perhaps meant to look like stage makeup, is too intense to be flattering up close, especially her lips and eyebrows, and also helps to emphasize the fine lines in her face. Her hair, which is normally perfect, is dull and bordering on frizzy.

She has a fake (?) tattoo and glitter on her chest and shoulder which almost look like a rash or burn scars at first glance. I thought of this later during her testimony when she brought up the diseases in 3rd Class that don’t get treatment and wondered if the decoration hides something else, like a scar or skin cancer.

Taken together, all of these pieces show us that Miss Audrey may be able to pull herself together to put on a good public show in her widow’s weeds, but she’s privately devastated by Nikki’s death. If you thought the widow’s weeds in episode 4 were simply a dramatic performance, you were wrong.

When her look is combined with the photo and the voiceover, we can guess that Nikki symbolizes everything Miss Audrey has lost. She was the one who Audrey had held onto through the Freeze and the inequality of the train. Now she’s been unfairly taken away and Miss Audrey will be sending some messages of her own. The words of the song resonate for her as well.

Though we’ve gotta say goodbye for the summer,

Hey, I’ll promise you this,

I’ll send you all my love in a letter,

Sealed with a kiss.

Sealed with a Kiss

The way Sealed with a Kiss was emphasized in episode 4 kept nagging at me, since it suggested that the song was more than just a random choice by the creators. This episode makes me certain of that. Layton knows he’s missed something in the case and it’s nagging at him, even in the drawer, in the form of a song stuck in his head.

Nikki sings the same lyrics from Sealed with a Kiss that were emphasized by LJ in episode 4, except for changing “baby” to “hey”: “Though we’ve gotta say goodbye for the summer, hey, I’ll promise you this, I’ll send you all my love in a letter, sealed with a kiss.”

The lyrics, by themselves, suggest a few possibilities.

“Say goodbye for the summer” has obvious significance on Snowpiercer. They’ve all said goodbye to the summer, forever. Movement from summer to fall and winter is also a reminder of the power structure on the train. For example, Roche shook hands a few times with Wilford before they boarded the train, but hasn’t seen him since he holed up in the biosecure engine after the permanent winter journey began. Saying goodbye to the summer was also saying goodbye to the original, accessible Wilford.

In this episode Miss Audrey reminds Melanie that they were once united in convincing Wilford to do the right thing for the lower classes. She hints that she knows Melanie is Wilford, but keeps it ambiguous.

Nikki and Audrey were close. Layton only spoke a few words with Nikki in life, but if there’s some sort of shared consciousness happening between residents of the drawers, courtesy of those endless server banks, he may be haunted by an upload of her mind or seeing and hearing a leftover echo.

“I’ll promise you this” I have a few thoughts here. First, it’s time to mention that Sealed with a Kiss was used in the 2006 cult slasher film All the Boys Love Mandy Lane. In the film, Emmet and Mandy, a pair of bullied high school students, get revenge on their classmates while keeping her involvement a secret. They have a suicide pact, which Mandy reneges on. At the end, Mandy and Emmet fight each other to the death, she wins, and then rides off into the sunset with Garth, a 2nd, cuter boy, who thinks she’s a heroic victim. The film turns the Final Girl trope on its head by revealing that she survives because she’s a villain, in addition to fulfilling the usual characteristics of the trope. Plus she also kills the slasher when he turns on her, suggesting their alliance was tenuous all along.

I’m not sure what the “Mandy” filmmakers were trying to say and I’m not sure where Snowpiercer’s showrunners are going with LJ’s arc, but there are some obvious similarities between these two stories. It rarely occurs to male writers when they write women’s stories like this film or LJ’s arc on Snowpiercer that women are frequently coerced by their violent, abusive boyfriends into cooperating with the boyfriends’ violent crimes. It’s as if Stockholm Syndrome doesn’t exist.

Male creators have often observed women’s behaviors very closely and can write women accurately from an external point of view. But they don’t understand the potential motivations behind the behaviors at all, as if it’s never occurred to them to just talk to a few women who’ve been in similar situations.

They write these shows in such a way that the only understandable motivation for the characters, as written, is that they were coerced and abused. But in the shows, the woman is the femme fatale, the criminal mastermind, the evil Eve or Lolita who led the poor, unsuspecting male astray. And of course an evil woman deserves a harsh punishment. Eve was thrown out of Eden. Lolita was thrown out of the Eden of childhood, passed between men and finally left a single teenage mother. The show becomes nothing but another male fantasy.

Our culture, as a whole, trains us to be oblivious to so many forms of everyday abuse, whether its racism or ableism or sexualized violence or abuse of power by an authority figure. The higher your natural position in the power structure, the less you notice what’s going on around you, unless you’ve been a victim of that particular form of abuse. This is true of everyone. We all live in our own bubble.

The lover in the song promises to send love in a letter, sealed with a kiss. Promises can be coerced. During torture, promises are broken.

A promise is also form of consent, which a minor child like LJ can’t legally give to an adult man like Erik.

This song is associated with both Nikki and LJ. 3rd Class still wants the justice they were promised for Nikki’s death, while LJ has promised to keep Wilford’s secrets and make herself useful in exchange for her pardon. Those two promises are about to start a class war, unless Melanie does some quick thinking. Layton was in the drawer for these developments, but he knew something like this would happen. He helped create Nikki as the ultimate 3rd Class victim and LJ as the ultimate symbol of 1st Class privilege, with both as symbols of broken promises.

“I’ll send you all my love in a letter” I have a few ideas for this one and very little evidence. Something must be tickling the back of Andre’s mind. Maybe Zarah sent a message to the Tail telling him about Miss Audrey’s giant book of Snowpiercer’s rules and regulations. That would be something he could use if they went for negotiation and a less violent revolution. That book will be important in some capacity, that’s for certain.

Maybe he realized the implications of something he read and pushed to the side in the Folgers car. Or another message he received from uptrain when he was still in the Tail. Or maybe Melanie slipped up somehow. Maybe something about her Fight Night message from Wilford clicked in his brain. Was that a message to Erik or another of her minions?

There’s also still that puzzling quote from Erik to Jinju, “She said this was coming.” Was Melanie sleeping with Erik, too? Humbert Humbert sleeps with Lolita and her mother, so the precedent is there.

“Sealed with a kiss.” That can only be secrets and/or poison. Poisonous lipstick, the Judas kiss, the Kiss of the Spider Woman, the kronole stuck in the cheek: there’s just no other way this is going. Betrayal is in the air. Every witness at the trial lied or seriously embellished the truth. Even those we thought were honorable. I’d bet a lot that a brakeman, probably Oz, planted the penises in the jewelry box. That’s just not where LJ would keep them.

The cop in Andre knows he needs to look into the connection between the black market, kronole and the murders. Just as the Tail couldn’t be safe until the cannibals were gone, kronole will cannibalize the entire train unless it’s eliminated. Terence and Annie showed us in this episode that they are far from benevolent.

In her testimony, LJ said that Sean Wise told her and Erik that “Shadows and lies were taking over our beautiful train.” and “Sean Wise gave his life to save humanity from the darkness that almost swallowed me whole.” She’s talking about kronole. That second quote suggests that she was threatened somehow. She also says his death helped save humanity from kronole. How? Was he selling it as well as informing? Did he try to get LJ hooked?

Nikki’s Body and LJ’s Guilt

LJ has an airtight alibi for Nikki’s murder. The entire train saw LJ in the Night Car for the fight, right up until the very end, when the Folgers were forced to leave at last call. That was the period of time when Nikki was being murdered.

When he was done with Nikki, Erik stayed in public for hours, where he’d be seen, in the 3rd Class dining car, perhaps so that LJ couldn’t be implicated. He only left when he knew Nikki’s body was about to be found. Then he went to the bee storage unit, and stayed there until Till and Oz found him.

Was he leading the brakemen to his hiding place, so they could find something important he’d hidden there? The J-hook that he left among his possessions in the Folgers’ car also leads back to the storage unit, providing another tip off to search that area. As LJ basically says in her trial, Erik is the one who tortured and questioned Sean. He heard the secrets Sean spilled. That’s likely why Erik was targeted for death next, after Nikki and Sean. (Remember, someone told him this was coming.)

But whoever Erik works for, or whoever put the hit out on him, didn’t count on him carving up Nikki so thoroughly. Her throat isn’t just slit (well, it might be when he leaves her). By the time Melanie and Andre get to her it’s opened wide and something electronic, with a flashing light, has been inserted inside.

Is that a message for Melanie, the Voice of the Train? Is it a medical implant Nikki had due to a previous injury or illness? We’ve already been shown that Klimpt violates the bodies of the living. He’d have no problem violating the bodies of the dead.

Whoever wanted Erik dead also thought that his secrets would die with him. Melanie was honestly floored to realize how much LJ knows, which means she didn’t think LJ was actually the mastermind who ordered Erik around, or even involved in the crimes at all. She knew the trial was a sham. As did virtually everyone involved in it. They were all playing out a piece of theatre meant to appease 3rd Class so they could get back to their normal lives as soon as possible.

Melanie would never have allowed LJ to take the stand if she thought LJ could reveal her secret. Since Sean was her informant, he had a high likelihood of guessing the truth. Layton guessed that was the real reason why he was brought out of the Tail- because Melanie was afraid Sean told the killer her secret.

Melanie thought her secret died with Erik and that LJ had no involvement, so putting her on trial would show Melanie’s own power over 1st and gain her some favor with 3rd. But either Layton or Erik shared the truth with LJ, or she was really present when Sean died. My money is on Layton giving her the ammunition she needed, but Erik also fed her pieces of the story.

Graphic photos of Nikki’s injures from episode 4 follow. Fair warning if you want to skip them.

Layton is dreaming about Nikki singing LJ’s song with a mutilated neck , with lyrics about sealing letters with a kiss. He knows he’s missed something with this case, and that Nikki’s throat holds a key clue.

Layton must have caught the tiny flashing light inside Nikki’s mutilated neck, but was distracted from processing it by all of the anger and regret in the room. Roche helped heap blame on everyone, extending the argument. That’s not the only time I’ve questioned Roche’s motives lately. Maybe he’s not as  honest as he seems.

No idea what’s causing the light.

  This slideshow requires JavaScript.

  Screen Caps from Opening Credits

Collider interview with Daveed Diggs

Interview with Snowpiercer Production Designer Barry Robison– Includes an in universe explanation of how the chains came to be.

Snowpiercer Zoom call backgrounds

    Essential viewing: Explore the Train

This might be the greatest fan theory of all time.

Images courtesy of TNT.

Snowpiercer S1E5: Justice Never Boarded Recap-Layton is in a drawer, Melanie is stressed out, LJ is on trial & Josie uses the chip again. But Jinju & Bess find some happiness & Melanie & Ben find some stress relief. #Snowpiercer In episode 5 of Snowpiercer, LJ goes to trial for her part in the murders of Sean and Nikki, Josie goes uptrain to search for Andre and Miss Audrey takes action to ensure that Melanie will get Nikki the justice she deserves.

[lolsexonthebeach]

My girlfriend wanted me to do these and also I really wanted to do these

1. Coffee or tea?

Usually coffee, but I won’t say no to green tea. Like, ever.

2. Black and white or color?

Used to be black and white but I’m starting to like colors again. Oh my god, I sound like a really cringy goth kid.

3. Drawings or paintings?

Drawings. I loved whenever my girlfriend would sketch things on our coffee dates.

4. Dresses or skirts?

Dresses. Love love love when @organiclavender wears dresses :)

5. Books or movies?

Honestly, books more recently. I haven’t seen a good movie in awhile.

6. Pepsi or Coke?

Pepsi, I drank enough coke as a child to make a 500lb McDonald’s frequenter gasp.

7. Chinese or Italian?

This is a very evil question. I guess Chinese, I feel like it’s easier to find a hole-in-the-wall place serving bomb Chinese than it is to find a decent Italian restaurant that sells something other than Spaghetti and one meatball.

8. Early bird or night owl?

Is it possible to be both? Kinda like waking up early now, but I love midnight silence.

9. Chocolate or vanilla?

That’s racist.

10. Introvert or extrovert?

I am an introvert that pretends to be extroverted so he can pet people’s cats and play their musical instruments

11. Hugs or kisses?

Kisses. Always kisses.

12. Hunting or fishing?

This is probably a typical answer, but I really don’t like the idea of murdering something helpless for fun (Even though I fucking love guns lmao). Fishing is probably not much less cruel, but it’s so relaxing, man. 

13. Winter or summer?

Well, summer rhymes with bummer. 

Nah. Love the cold.

14. Spring or fall?

Fall. Such a spooky season.

15. Rural or urban?

It really depends on where lol. I love getting lost in the woods, but there’s no Wi-Fi out there lmao

16. PC or Mac?

Macs are literally overpriced Linux computers that take everything good about Linux and throw it the fuck away.

17. Tan or pale?

Pale <3

18. Cake or pie?

I will eat the FUCK out of some pecan pie.

19. Ice cream or yogurt?

I’m not an annoying hipster that lies about enjoying fermented milk so iced cream for me

20. Ketchup or mustard?

Ketchup, but mustard is growing on me lately. Like, go get some spicy brown mustard from Walmart and put that shit on a sandwich with pepper jack and roast beef and tell me there’s not a God.

21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles?

Sweet pickles are the 2nd most disgusting thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. The first is my brother’s penis. What was weirder was finding out that he wasn’t really my brother.

22. Comedy or mystery?

I feel like most comedies these days are different iterations of “WEIRD SEX SCENES AND AFFAIRS AND ALSO HERE’S SOME BOOBS” so mystery

23. Boots or sandals?

Well, if Doc Marten made some flippy flops... Nah, boots.

24. Silver or gold?

Silver. Looks way classier to me for some reason.

25. Pop or Rock?

DEATH METAL

26. Dancing or singing?

I can’t do either, I’m a white boy.

27. Checkers or chess?

My girlfriend will attest to the fact that I used to literally stay awake for hours playing chess on my phone

28. Board games or video games?

I love the videa.

29. Wine or beer?

I am answering this question with a hangover. Please die.

30. Freckles or dimples?

Both will equally melt my heart.

31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce?

I live in Texas, so BBQ sawz

32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights?

Weights. I notice better results doing shit with dumbbells and stuff than I do just doing pushups and shit.

33. Baseball or basketball?

I refer you to the answer of question 26.

34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus?

Do I look like a 40 year old wife that likes to disturb her husband’s peace in the morning

35. Facial hair or clean shaven?

I assume this is asking about on other people, but facial hair if I’m trying to go to a bar and I don’t feel like getting carded, clean shaven if I want some love from @organiclavender

36. Crushed ice or cubed ice?

Ice^3

37. Skiing or snowboarding?

Snowboarding. 

38. Smile or game face?

I usually try to smile but apparently I have resting bitch face a lot

39. Bracelet or necklace?

I’ll rock both, yo.

40. Fruit or vegetables?

Both, my girlfriend has been forcing me to eat healthier and omg I’m actually starting to like things that aren’t baked in an asbestos lined oven with ingredients grown from failed cloning experiments and formaldehyde

41. Sausage or bacon?

Bausage.

42. Scrambled or fried?

This is a tough one. As long as there’s a shit ton of cheese somewhere in there, I’ll eat either.

43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate?

Darkolate.

44. Tattoos or piercings?

Have both, want more of both. I seriously miss my nose ring.

45. Antique or brand new?

Antique, but my girlfriend is scared of old things because she won’t stop watching Paranormal Survivor.

46. Dress up or dress down?

I have no idea what this means. I clearly am not the target demographic of this questionnaire.

47. Cowboys or aliens?

I was going to say both, but then I remembered it’s that kind of thinking that made Cowboys and Aliens with Daniel CRAYGE happen.

48. Cats or dogs?

I love woofers but I absolutely adore cats.

49. Pancakes or waffles?

Fucking WAFFLES.

50. Bond or Bourne?

I’ve been a Bond fan since I was old enough to be sentient

51. Sci-Fi or fantasy?

Both. Massive Sci-Fi fan but I love anything to do with fantasy things.

52. Numbers or letters?

Symbols!

53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings?

LORD OF THE POTTER

54. Fair or theme park?

I love fairs. There’s always a hint of “holy shit I might die” that just adds to the rickety experience of riding a roller coaster set up in literally a day.

55. Money or fame?

Money. I’d much rather buy people shit than sign autographs.

56. Washing dishes or doing laundry?

Neither. Shit is so lame. Hate both equally.

57. Snakes or sharks?

Sneks r cool

58. Orange juice or apple juice?

Apple Juice. I’ve been craving some since I woke up.

59. Sunrise or sunset?

Sunset.

60. Slacker or over-achiever?

I have bursts of both, which likely means I have some kind of serious mental disorder

:D

61. Pen or pencil?

Pens. There’s a weird quality to ink that I’ve always loved.

62. Peanut butter or jelly?

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who ate straight jelly lmao

63. Grammys or Oscars?

Do I look like a bored, lonely housewife?

64. Detailed or abstract?

Both. Absolutely both.

65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions?

When I didn’t entirely hate school, I loved essay questions. Multiple choice is now my favorite.

66. Adventurous or cautious?

Literally both.

67. Saver or spender?

I’m both lol. Sometimes I won’t spend a dime and then other times I’ll buy some fucking copper silverware on amazon because “It looks cool”.

68. Glasses or contacts?

Depends on the person. I think my girlfriend looks adorable in hers, I can’t seem to have them without shattering them.

69. Laptop or desktop?

Desktop.

70. Classic or modern?

Classic.

71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer?

I would literally kill for someone to get me off of my ass and into a gym more often.

72. Internet or cell phone?

I feel like those two are synonymous now.

73. Call or text?

If it’s my girlfriend, call. If it’s literally anyone else, text.

74. Curly hair or straight hair?

I think girls with curly hair are the absolute cutest thing ever.

75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening?

Evening showers make me happy.

76. Spicy or mild?

I will forever shovel spicy things in my mouth until my stomach screams at me and I need to throw up on the poor waitress asking me if I’m okay.

77. Marvel or DC?

I am weirdly not into comics.

78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent?

Dude, if I could afford a house in any possible way, there’s no way in hell I would ever live in an apartment again.

79. Sky dive or bungee jump?

I really wanna sky dive. Loved bungee jumping.

80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy?

WHAT IF THEY MADE BOTH 

81. Jello or pudding?

Pudding

82. Truth or dare?

You’re not even trying anymore.

83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel?

Roller coaster!

84. Leather or denim?

I rock both yo.

85. Stripes or solids?

SOLIDS

86. Bagels or muffins?

Bagels, omfg. I’m like craving a garlic and poppy seed bagel right now. Wiff some creme chez.

87. Whole wheat or white?

My girlfriend hates me so I’m not allowed to eat white bread anymore.

88. Beads or pearls?

ANAL BEADS

89. Hardwood or carpet?

Hardwood. I finally moved into an apartment with wood floors and omg it’s so nice. Only thing that sucks is when it’s cold you mos def need socks.

90. Bright colors or neutral tones?

Neutral. I like colors too, I’m just a weird goth boy.

91. Be older than you are or younger than you are?

Older, with a job that doesn’t suck. I wanna be out of college.

92. Raisins or nuts?

Raisins are gross. I love cashews tho

93. Picnic or nice restaurant?

Nice restaurant. One of my favorite dates with my girlfriend is finding cool nice places to grab some food at :)

94. Black leather or brown leather?

Black ‘till I die.

95. Long hair or short hair?

Both. I’m not picky :)

96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”?

I’m imaging the second choice is what half of the dudes at the range I used to go to into Austin took.

97. Fiction or non-fiction?

Fiction. Non-Fiction is boring.

98. Smoking or non-smoking?

I’m not allowed to smoke anymore.

:’(

99. Think before you talk or talk before you think?

I definitely do both.

100. Asking questions or answering questions?

Both yo!

[surveystodestressme]

65.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 16

1501. What did you think of the movie Black Hawk Down? i haven’t watched it 1502. What movie has the most surprising ending ever? shutter island was pretty surprising but that’s the only thing i can think of right now 1503. What are you currently angry at? nothing 1504. Who is harder to please, you or your lover? it’s probably me 1505. What is the most dramatic thing you have ever done for attention? i don’t know

1506. What do you have issues with? plenty of things lol.  this world and all of the crazy shit going on in it 1507. There is a nuclear war and your fallout shelter has room and supplies enough for two. No one knows about the fallout shelter but you. Who do you choose to take in (Remember, the person you choose is the only person you will know in 5-15 years when you can come above ground again)? damn. it’d be so hard to pick.  either jack or one of my parents.  i’m assuming my sister and her wife would be good bc they live in an air force base 1508. Do you have any fillings? yeah 1509. What do you do when you are home alone that you cannot do when other people are at home? nothing really lol.  i do the same shit when i’m alone and when people are here.  masturbate, i guess??? 1510. Have you ever had a near death experience? not that i can remember 1511. Do you read on the toilet? sometimes 1512. Are you afraid of a global nuclear war? not particularly 1513. If there was a global nuclear war would you expect to be a survivor? probably not, tbh 1514. How often do people try to talk to you while you are in the bathroom? a lot, actually 1515. Have you ever swam in the ocean? yes 1516. Have you ever built a sandcastle? yep 1517. Do you feel comfortable in a bathing suit? i sure do 1518. What would be the best season of the year to get married? i think in autumn What would be the best day? maybe friday 1519. What are 2 things that the perfect ___ would do? Boy/girlfriend: be trustworthy and kind Parents: supportive and dependable Friend: funny and adventurous Teacher: intelligent and creative Doctor: personable and make me feel comfortable 1520. If someone you loved was seriously miserable for a long period of time what would you do to help cheer him or her up? i’d try to spend as much time as possible with them and try to make them feel better in any way that i could 1521. What was the best year of your life so far? either 2017 or 2016 1522. When people are born is it predetermined whether they will be a good or bad person? i don’t think so 1523. What is your least favorite bodily function? farting 1524. Does the weather affect your mood? yeah, it really does 1525. If you were underground for 5 years what would you miss the most? being outside 1526. What do you think of the movie Blast from the Past? never seen it 1527. If you were on death row (if you don’t feel evil enough to really ever get there, imagine that you have been wrongly accused and wrongly convicted) what would you want your last meal to be? hot wings, french fries, and some beer 1528. How would you want to die (electric chair, gas, lethal injection, hanging)? as quick as possible, or in my sleep 1529. Who would you want with you when you died? jack and maybe my parents 1530. What would your last words be? i don’t know 1531. What is your favorite summer song? all summer long 1532. Has anyone ever broken a promise to you? yeah 1533. Have you broken a promise to anyone else? i’m sure 1534. Do you eat red meat? sure do 1535. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? someone has said i have before 1536. What would you consider a blessed event? uhhh... i don’t know, in a literal sense, i guess a baptism? 1537. What would you consider a miracle? someone getting saved from dying 1538. Here’s a list of dead rock stars. How big of a loss to the music industry was each one? Dave Williams: Ian Curtis: Aaliah: Rozz Williams: Elvis: Tupac: Michael Hutchence: Sid Vicious: Jimi Hendrix: elvis, i guess??? 1539. What are the most cruel words someone could say to you? probably telling me to die or wishing death upon someone i love 1540. Would you rather catch your parents in bed or have them catch you? i’d rather catch them i guess 1541. If someone offered you $1,000 to cheat on your boy/girlfriend, would you do it? no. 1542. Would you rather date someone 3 years younger than you, or 15 years older? three years younger. 1543. Would you rather like your guy/girl more than s/he likes you, or have him or her like you more? i don’t think i’d be happy with either of those 1544. Which is better, the rush of kissing a new person for the first time, or the comfort of kissing the same person a hundred times? kissing the same person a hundred times, definitely 1544. If you could read your boy/girlfriends mind, but only by letting him or her read yours, would you do it? yeah, i guess 1545. Would you rather lose your bathing suit to a huge wave right in front of a cute lifeguard, or your whole family? my whole family, they know me so it’s not like it matters 1546. Is truth sometimes stranger than fiction? yeah 1547. Do you look back and laugh at things that hurt or were embarrassing at the time? depends on what it is 1548. Would you like to live in the Playboy Mansion? not really 1549. Have you ever looked in anyone’s wallet that wasn’t yours? not unless they told me to 1550. What time and date is it? december 18th 2017 6:49 p.m. 1551. What song would you (or have you) sung karaoke? separate ways or livin on a prayer 1552. Do you run through the sprinkler on a hot day? i would if i had one 1553. Could you survive without: Electricity: i don’t think so Heat: i think i have enough blankets Air conditioning: no, i’d be way too hot in the summer TV: yeah Radio: definitely A car: as long as someone else had a car to drive me 1554. Would you ever consider shaving your head? yeah, actually 1555. What is one thing that will happen to you less than 24 hours from now? i will play some video games 1556. What age would you want to stay forever? i guess the age i am now, 21 1557. What is the softest part of your body? my butt or boobs probably 1558. What would make your day if it happened right now? i won the lottery or got a brand new car somehow 1559. What are you thinking about? sex 1560. Are you on: Drugs: no. The road to nowhere: nah The crazy train: no. 1561. Do you say everything to people’s faces or do you talk behind their backs? i’d rather say it to them. 1562. What is gone that will never come back? my youth haha. 1563. What’s your biggest turn on? when jack grabs my thighs or my neck or pulls on my hair  1564. Have you ever made love in an elevator? no. 1565. Are you spiritually dead? i don’t think so 1566. What’s your favorite care bear? the grumpy one 1567. Do you like the music of Warren Zevon? idk who that is 1568. Have you ever wanted a picture painted onto your car? nahh 1569. Are you an alien in a red striped jumpsuit who plays guitar in a band? no???? idek what that’s from, should i? 1570. If you aren’t an alien in a red striped jumpsuit who plays guitar in a band then who is? IDK? 1571. How many private entries do you have? nada 1572. Are you clumsy? yes, very 1573. As you get older will you let your looks go or have plastic surgery? i’ll just let them go honestly. i don’t care enough 1574. If you wear contacts or glasses would you ever consider laser eye surgery? no because it’s not permanent and it’s very expensive 1575. What is the most expensive thing you own? probably my computer 1576. What do you think of when you hear the word ‘cell’? my phone 1577. Have you ever had goat’s milk? i don’t think so 1578. Do you care how Jennifer Anniston lives her life? not really. 1579. If there was a 'penny per page’ internet tax would you pay it? nah 1580. Do you treat your pets like family members? absolutely 1581. Have you ever eaten tofu? sure have, it’s not that bad either 1582. Do you believe that the 'war on drugs’ is effective? idk. 1583. What would you like to have 435 of (anything but money)? shoes and clothes 1584. How many people know the password to your diary besides you? i don’t have a password for my diary 1585. Do you like Calvin and Hobbes? idek what that is 1586. Have you ever thought of deleting your diary? - 1587. Have you ever thought of moving to OD+? idk what that is 1588. Do 48 hours need 48 thrills? whatttt? 1589. Who do you know that acts phony? plenty of people i work with 1590. Do you like American Pie? yeah, i like it 1591. What is the last law you broke? speeding. 1592. Have you ever run away from home? i always wanted to but never did 1593. Have you had a good feeling today? not really 1594. What was it? - 1595. Did your parents pretend their was a tooth fairy and slip money under your pillow? yep 1596. If yes, how much per tooth? $1 1597. Is there a difference between art and crafts? sure 1598. Have you ever tried out for something? yeah 1599. Did you make it? yeah, sometimes 1600. What’s your favorite lullaby? twinkle twinkle little start, if that counts as a fairytale

[bloodbondsnarrative-blog]

Basic plot

Basic Plot

Before main story:

The kingdom was ran by a tyrant

A Hunter (Whose little sister was killed by the tyrant) (the Father) hunted down a Djinn (the Mother) and contracted her to help him gain the strength in order to take the kingdom- to kill the tyrant king. 

After killing him, the Djinn and the Hunter fell in love and were urged to rule the kingdom due to their good leadership in the rebellion and the people believed the Djinn would bring good fortune (They were seen as a lower class of angels- there were good and bad ones).

Due to Djinn law, a contract is broken after three wishes have been granted (In Islam, 3 represents the human soul and the human acceptance of mortality)

After the three wishes are granted the Djinn lose all memories of their master and wonder to find a new one.

With 1/3 wishes taken the Djinn and the Hunter are bonded so long as the final wish isn’t made and she would be able to stay with her love until death- if a master dies while bonded to a djinn, they turn mortal (Own interpretation)

Blood is also a vital bond- a djinn is loyal and a bond of blood can unlock enchantments- they are family creatures 

The Djinn and the (now) King marry and have 7 sons 
           (7 in islam represents the seven gates of heaven and hell)

The King longed for a daughter to try and fill the void left by his sister’s death

When he was granted a daughter, she was sickly and small and needed to be cleaned and healed- He asked his sons to run and get water from the courtyard

Some of the younger brothers (who were jealous and simply didn’t like the idea of having another sibling gaining their already divided attention) tried to sabotage the older brothers- stopping them from getting the water so their sister would die.

The king soon realised that the water was not coming, ordering his servants to get the water- in his anger, he curses his children-
          “Curse those boys! I wish they’d all fly away and release me from their idiocy” 

(His bad intentions and psyche were channeled into them- his negative feelings tainting the wish and turning them into something seen as bad- a nuisance like a raven)

Due to the bond that the King shared with his Djinn wife- she had no other choice but to grant the wish and their seven sons were transformed into ravens. 

Djinn are known shape shifters 

The Seer helped the daughter recover 

The couple couldn’t wish for their sons back due to the rules of the Djinn (Three wishes and then they have to be apart) and so continued their life with their daughter- never telling her of her siblings or her Djinn heritage in fear she would hate what her parents accidentally did.

18 years pass


The princess grows up learning from the knights (in secret)- she believed it would made her father happy due to the sad smile he gave the training boys- (He missed his sons and regularly sent his knights into the world to search for his sons- he wanted them back to see if they could shift back due to their Djinn heritage) 

On the eve of the princess’s 18th birthday, the knight party returns but with half of them gone and the survivors near death

They report of shadow riders- seven of them- following them back to the kingdom and wreaking havoc

In the chaos, the princess takes up arms and helps defend her kingdom- coming to blows with one of the shadow knights in the process. But they do not harm her, they commit a mass slaughter- when the sun begins to rise they leave

The kingdom tries to recover- learning that a chunk of their kingdom was damaged- and began to put up a defence

The shadow riders returned every month on the full moon- never did they harm the princess, king or queen

More creatures arrived behind the Shadow riders, tainting the land and wreaking havoc

The princess loses dear friends (and a possible love interest) 

The princess figured out that she was safe from them and determined that she should track them down and end them before they ended her kingdom.

Her parents refused to let her- they didn’t want their only child venturing into the wilderness

The princess disobeyed them and visited the Seer- 

‘Those beasts were not human. Not now at least. I fear you must venture into the lands of the Gods if you wish to find them. That is the only place that such evil could exist’

“How do I get to such a place?”

‘You must travel to the edge- the boundary between our world and theirs. To where the sand hisses and where the stars walk on the clouds.’

She ventures to the edge of the world- to the border between the human world and the land of the Gods 

She takes water (meaning life), Bread (sustenance) and her family ring to remember her family ( she places it on her left pinky due to it being too small for her ring finger- it was from her childhood- shows that she will hang onto her family no matter what)  

Many different Gods inhabit this land, with the excuse that there are many old and new gods- if they are worshipped, they live in this land
   

She arrives in a market place filled wth an array of gods and creatures alike

She spots a group of lowly creatures (travellers) being harassed for their supplies and puts a stop to their harassment

She ends up staying with them for the night

“we must ask: What is a human doing in this land?”

‘The shadow riders, they attack my kingdom every full moon, killing my people and wreaking chaos. I intend to kill them.’

They are all shocked

“Are you stupid? Those monsters spread death wherever they roam. They are the darkness itself- the physical embodiment of everything bad in existence. They are the night. You cannot kill the night.” 
“We strongly advise against this poisonous journey. You have no place here. Return to the mortal realm while you still hold your life.”

‘I am not looking for advice. Especially from those who appear just as lost as I am- who don’t have a place themselves.’

“That wont be the way for long! Theres a witch that gives orphan travellers and nomads their place in the world! She promises that their deepest desires would be granted!”

“Don’t tell her that! She could take our Wishes!”

‘Look, I don’t want your wishes. I just want to bring justice to the deaths in my kingdom. So, if I wanted to kill the shadows, what would I need?’

(From the quiet traveller) “Light. You need light to destroy the darkness. Venom from the sun itself.”

‘Where do I find this venom?’

“Sol. The sun goddess, her venom would be strong enough to kill anything. Get her venom and you will have your justice.”

The princess is warned to be weary of the creatures in this world- humans are a delicacy and creatures can smell their blood- “Humans have such a unique smell, its potent and stands out. The sun goddess will surely try to eat you- amongst others here.”

The princess ventures across the ice plains to reach the desert plains where the sun resides

She finds the ‘moon’, a huge beast that lives under the ice (glows and a huge fish with ice crystals) 

While up close with it’s mouth, she sees the ice crystals inside- links that up with the ice blast it throws at her

She manages a good fight but gets caught on the edge of the ice- she could barely see what was going on as it was night time

The Moon-fish has her leg- about to deal the final blow- she thinks she is going to die

The stars swing in and save her 

“Humans venture here often and get devoured by the gods. You were lucky it was only in it’s quarter stages as it grows through the month.”

They tell her ‘The moon is angered, just as much as we are. The humans are beginning to fear the Night due to the shadow riders. Creatures may want to eat the humans at such close range- the smell you see? But in the end, you are our creations. We cannot watch over you when you hide from what we arrive with.’

The shadow riders have tainted the night- poisoning the moon

They agree to help her on her quest- Only helping her gather the venom. 

They go in the night- the sun was too powerful during the day and the stars cannot venture out during the day:

The North Star (Polaris)- The guiding star and the leader ordered for the most powerful stars go:

Sirius 

Canopus

Centauri

Arcturus- doesn’t make it back

Vega

They venture to the desert, to the temple of the sun

The Goddess ‘Sol’ is a giant Naga, one that follows the princess around her temple in an attempt to eat her

The princess uses the moon’s ice crystals to freeze sections of the Naga, shattering them, allowing her to collect the venom of light quickly- but she it still damaged from the fight

The stars and the princess make it back to the Kingdom of the Stars and recuperate- the princess must tackle the shadow riders, she tells them that they do not harm her for some reason. She must go alone- not wanting anymore death
‘A star has withered because of me. No more.’

The North Star tells the princess that a bond of blood- a sacrifice can unlock the door to the glass mountain but it can be forged with a chicken bone (its still a sacrifice)

The princess ventures to the glass mountain and realises that she has dropped the chicken bone. There was no wood to whittle. No animals to kill to replace the bone. - ‘A sacrifice must be given- you are in the kingdom of the Gods after all and blood is the strongest thing there is…’

She saw no other choice and cut off her left little finger (where she wore the ring)

The bone fit the lock and she walked inside, her sword laced with the venom. 

She meets a blind dwarf who bowed in her presence and told her to ‘Wait for the others to return before feasting’ -Creatures can smell by blood

She sees the plates on the table and begins to lace them with venom, not noticing that her hand is bleeding sluggishly, her ring slowly falling off her bleeding finger until it ends up landing in the last plate 

The shadow riders return, all of them sitting down at the table- noticing the trail of blood leading to the cupboard where the princess is hiding- they don’t go on the offensive, they appear to be taken aback- confused and their faces contorting in hope

While the others are slowly encroaching on the cupboard (No Weapons) , the oldest remains at his plate, staring down at the ring.

He slowly picks up the ring and shows it to the others- his armour slowly disappearing into human skin
 “Our sister has come to take us home…”


The other riders slowly lose their armour and the princess exits the cupboard, slowly seeing the human faces of the riders- seeing the resemblances and the family rings around their necks

Her bleeding is too much and she becomes unconscious 

When she wakes up, she finds a jug of water near her bed (Shows a redemption from the brothers- finally delivering the water to their ill sister) 

She still goes on the offensive- taking up her sword and aiming it at her fully human-formed brothers, they get her to calm down and start an explanation:

“I want an explanation! Your evilness- your crimes must have a reason!”

She learns of how her father cursed them in anger- why she was never told of her Djinn heritage

She learns of their time manifesting in their father’s ill will from his curse- they tell her that they were found by a witch- one that granted them their one wish- to be human again: but witch craft and Djinn magic don’t mix and they were transformed into monsters. 
‘Witches twist things you see… We wanted to be human again and return to our world of birth. We did return just not in the way we wanted to.’ 


She remembers the travellers from the market, how they were going to see a witch- she needed to stop her.


[tialovestelevision]

Offspring

Well, “Billy” certainly never got made, right? Because putting a story into the show where magic turns the main protagonists into woman-beating abuse machines is a terrible idea that nobody - especially a team as good as Joss Whedon and his Mutant Enemy friends - would ever actually act on. Definitely wouldn’t be made in the twenty-first century. Right? Right, folks?

Moving on.

1. We’re in Rome, in 1771. For some reason, that text is in red. There are rats. People in eighteenth-century Rome run through puddles sometimes. Is it Angelus? Yep. There are priests or monks after him in the sewers with torches. There’s a grate in the way of his escape, but he moves it, then he trips and falls. Into a room - a torture chamber. Everyone has crossbows and torches. The doors open, and sunlight pours through and in rides Holtz on his horse. They close the door. There’s a cardinal here too. The cardinal is speaking Italian, and so is Holtz, so we know Holtz speaks Italian. It’s subtitled, so I’d assume Angelus does too? Anyway, the cardinal tells the priests to hold Angelus so Holtz can deal with him. They tie him up with chains. The cardinal - I’m starting to think he’s not supposed to be a cardinal, maybe? - performed the wedding ceremony for Holtz and his wife, Caroline. “You remember Caroline.” Angelus does. He’s awful. The guy I thought was a cardinal is apparently actually an excommunicated inquisitor. They’re traditionalists. Apparently it’s torture time.

2. They’ve been torturing Angelus for a while. Holtz is surprised Angelus came to Rome, but he says Darla loves the Sistine Chapel. Especially Botticelli’s frescos. The Temptation of the Christ is her favorite. Angelus asks what Holtz wants; Holtz wants nothing. He has nothing. He doesn’t trust Angelus to give him Darla. He wants to know if a thing like Angelus can be made to pay for its sins. So more torture? More torture. Holtz wants to know if Angel can be a man if they beat and burn the demon out of his flesh. But Darla just came in with a posse of vampires to rescue him. Her vampires are killing the priests. Some of them are getting killed. Darla just killed the Inquisitor. Here comes another vampire on a wagon. Darls would prefer to torment Holtz over killing him.

3. “LA, present day.” A bus pulls up - a local bus. Downtown-Hollywood. Darla is aboard. She’s eaten all the other passengers. The driver is calling for help on his radio. Opening credits.

4. Angel and Cordy are in the basement of the hotel. Cordy is setting up flowers. Fake flowers. Angel says he’s been around for a long time, and has never met anyone like Cordy. Cordy: “Well, duh.” They’re training. She clobbers him, and he’s happy happy. And his jaw hurts. Gunn and Wes are breaking into somewhere to get missing pieces from a Nyazian scroll to find out if the end is coming. Angel asks if his face is swelling.

5. We’re in the desert. Wes and Gunn are trying to break into a house. They’ve dealt with the guard dogs and disabled the alarms. Wes wants to cut a hole in the glass, but Gunn just opens an unlocked door. They walk through some big double doors. Gunn finds a shrunken cyclops demon head. It watches them as they move. Wes wants to find the scroll. Gunn found a vault. Gunn has a bad feeling about this. Namely, about the man with the large revolver. Wes tells the man with the revolver that if he calls the police, he can explain why he keeps so much rohypnol on hand. His trancing powder looks almost identical to rohypnol under a microscope. The guy says that in that case, he’ll wait until after he kills them to call the police. Gunn has picked up four red crystal spheres. “Hey, these worth a lot?” They’re Cyopian conjuring spheres, and worth a very lot. Gunn starts juggling them and tells the man to put his weapon down and he’ll stop. He drops one on purpose. The man puts the gun down. Gunn sets the spheres down.

6. Hyperion basement. Fred is coming downstairs to visit Cordy and Angel. They’re practicing backspin roundhouse kicks. Fred has the most interesting expression on her face as she watches them. Cordy heads upstairs; Fred wishes her “kye-rumption,” which is the one nice word she remembers from Pylea. It means the moment when two great heroes meet on the field of battle and recognize their mutual fate. When Fred sees them sparring, kye-rumption always comes to mind. Angel is surprised by the idea of him and Cordy. Fred says that since they’re both heroes, it’s only natural that they’d be drawn to one another. Then she’s happy about plastic flowers, because they never fade. Angel says there’s nothing going on between him and Cordy, which is almost as much of a lie as if Kumiko were to say there was nothing going on between her and Reina. Fred: “Nothing but moira.” Angel: “Who’s Moira?” Well, she’s an actress who vanished from The West Wing after the opening story arc. But moira is also the Pylean word for gut physical attraction between two larger-than-life souls. Angel denies physical attraction. He wants Fred to stop saying kye-rumption. Wes comes in and is upset with Angel for shouting at Fred, but Fred is all right. Wes needs Fred to look at the scrolls, because they need someone who can do the math. Does Willow do all the math for Buffy’s team? If so, Angel’s better off, though his mathematician can’t raise the dead.

7. The office at the Hyperion. Gunn comes in to check on Fred and Wes, especially Fred. She’s working on math using the ancient Roman, Etruscan, Sumerian, and Druidic calendars. “Oh, that can’t be right. Unless the world ended last March.” Gunn asks if we’re at Armageddon or a bad house number. Bad event or bad guy. Apparently, the prophecy speaks of the tro-clon’s rise… an event or being that brings about the ruination of mankind. Or purification, in Aramaic. Ruination in Greek. Both in the lost Ga-Shundi language. Cordy brings up the mistake Wes made with the shanshu prophecy. Angel overheard the talking about shanshu. Cordy wants to take human Angel to the beach. Fred reruns her math and thinks for a moment that it came out better, but it didn’t. Fred’s math says that the tro-clon should already be in LA. She’s running the numbers again. Angel sits down to talk to Cordy. He keeps looking at her. She keeps looking at him. She asks why he’s looking at her. He’s looking at her more. She says it’s getting creepy now. He’s thinking about people and relationships and them. She’s a woman, he’s a manpire. Cordy says she loves Angel, and everybody says they love Angel too, because they do all love each other and they also might die to the tro-clon. Angel says that Cordy knows him, the good and the bad. Cordy says he’s seen the same in her, and that she thinks the good in him far outweighs the bad. Then Darla comes in and complains about being pregnant.

8. Angel: “Darla.” Wes: “Darla.” Cordy: “Darla?” Fred: “Who’s Darla?” Gunn starts giving a crash course in Darla. Fred: “Do we have a chart or something?” Gunn: “It’s in the files. I’ll get it for you.” Cordy is feeling betrayed that Angel slept with Darla. Angel is avoiding that question and checking with Wes to make sure vampires can’t have children. Wes confirms that. Fred says this might be the tro-clon. Darla asks what Angel did to her. Darla hits him. Cordy goes to protect Darla. Angel reminds her that Darla is dangerous; Cordy turns her eyes on him. “Did you or did you not look me in the eye and say you would never do a thing like this with her?” Darla: “Oh, he lied? What a surprise.” Fred offers Darla some water. Angel tries apologizing; Cordy is having none of it. She asks Darla if she’s been to a doctor. Darla says no, but she’s been to every shaman and seer in the western hemisphere. None of them know what’s going on. Cordy asks if it kicks a lot; Darla says like crazy. Darla wants to make it stop. Cordy asks if Angel is going to take responsibility; Angel says that of course he is, and suggests Wes use his books. Wes has no idea what’s going on, and that they should talk to the Host.

9. The Furies are reenchanting Caritas, and the Host is redecorating. And renovating. Angel and the others arrive. The Furies go “Mm. Angel.” Cordy pokes Angel about that, too. Fred wants to know if Angel’s going to sing; Wes and the Host shudder at the idea. Cordy says that Darla should sing. The Host throws everyone, including the Furies, out. The spell’s not finished. The Host: “This is way beyond my ken. And my Barbie, and all my action figures.” He says it could be anything. Maybe an uber-vamp, Gunn says. Wes and Fred bring up the tro-clon. “Born out of darkness, to bring darkness.” The Host says Darla can have his bedroom. Cordy throws Angel out.

10. Cordy wants to call a doctor. She offers to stay with Darla. The Host leaves them alone.

11. The others - Angel, Fred, Gunn, Wes, and the Host - are speculating. Pretty wildly. Wes suggests that maybe the child is the subject of shanshu. Fred asks if she can say something about destiny. “Screw destiny. If this evil thing comes, we’ll fight it, and we’ll keep fighting it until we whoop it. Because destiny is just another word for the inevitable, and nothing’s inevitable as long as you stand up, look it in the eye, and say, ‘You’re evitable.’” The Host likes her so much. Fred offers to go back to the hotel and get her calculations and the prophecy. Wes is going with her. The Host says Cordy is very angry with Angel.

12. Now Cordy is talking about that one time she got mystically impregnated. The first time. Not the one with the eyeball. They don’t seem to be counting the one with the eyeball. I think she just reminded Darla about eating. She’s fleeing the room. Darla chases her to the door. She says she’s hungry all the time. Now they’re fighting. Cordy holds her off a few seconds, then Darla covers her mouth and starts to eat. And now Cordy’s having a vision. A fair. Angel comes in and throws Darla across the room. Darla has run away. They’re trying to get Cordy to a safe place while they take care of Darla.

13. Angel has brought Cordy home. He’s staying with her… well, Gunn’s staying with her. Angel apologizes again, and says Darla will never do it again. Cordy says that she forgot what Darla was because of her sympathy. Angel’s going to go now. Gunn promises Angel that he’ll take care of Darla if she shows up. Cordy is telling Angel about her vision. “It isn’t like any vision I’ve had before. She’s so hungry. She doesn’t know how to make the hunger stop. I think I know where she’s headed.”

14. Angel is insisting on going alone after Darla. Wes disapproves. He leaves, and Wes asks why he insists on doing everything alone. Fred: “I think he just couldn’t bear to have us see him do it.” Wes reminds her that Darla tried to kill Cordy and is a vampire; Fred reminds him that Darla is also carrying Angel’s child.

15. The arcade. Not a fair. Lots of kids. One is looking for his mother. Oh, look, it’s Darla. She approaches the boy looking for his mother. Darla tells someone else that she could just eat children up.

16. Cordy wakes up from a dream. She has to talk to Wes. Her dream was like a vision. The tro-clon will be born in Middle English and arise in Gothic. Fred is trying to get Angel on the phone or pager, but Angel’s not answering his phone and left his pager at the hotel. Cordy knows why Darls is craving younger victims.

17. Darla is about to eat the kid, but Angel attacks her. Now they’re fighting. People are running away. She’s absurdly strong. Angel just almost flew into the ball pit. Darla wants him to stake her. He backs off. She goes at him Now she’s sobbing. Apparently, Darla’s sharing the child’s soul.

18. Darla is in bed. Angel is offering her pig blood. She doesn’t want it. She really doesn’t want Angel around. Angel tells Gunn to kill Darla anyway if she goes near Cordy or Fred. Cordy is talking to Angel about fatherhood. And souls. Fred found a good stiff uh-oh. Fred says the tro-clon is arriving right about now.

19. A shrine under the park near Wolfam & Hart. Someone walks over to a demon altar. It’s a demon walking to the altar. He’s talking to the altar about places where dreamers dream and death doesn’t seem to really be a thing. “One shall awaken in the first year of the final century… that one who lived before and joined Cod-She in the great sleep… arise! As was promised and foretold. Arise! Arise!” He looks disappointed and walks away. Lights a cigarette. Waits. Checks his watch. Things start to shake and shudder and lightning flashes and the altar wakes up and cracks open and someone falls out of it. “Welcome to the 21st century. Angelus is here. You’ll see him soon. You haven’t used your muscles in a very long time. It will be a while before you’re strong enough to…” Then he stands up. It’s Holtz. He wants to know where Angelus is.

Overall: Honestly, there’s not an episode here so much as a bunch of plot arcs running into each other at high speed. Quick grades!

1. Darla’s pregnancy. Mehhhhh. The show takes an obvious anti-choice worldview, assigning a soul and mystical protection to a fetus and basically treating Darla herself much more as a vessel for said souled fetus than as a person or monster of her own. This is one of the most problematic arcs we’ve run across in the Buffy franchise, for reasons I expect are obvious.

2. Cordy and Angel. Okay! In this story, Darla and her pregnancy are roadbumps in a budding romantic relationship. Cordy and Angel actually have among the best chemistry in the franchise, and I absolutely buy their interest in each other. More than I do Buffy and Riley or Buffy and Spike, anyway. Getting the fact that Angel slept with Darla into the open is an important moment in that story’s development.

3. Holtz. Awesome! Holtz got a proper build for a villain, and we know just how serious a threat he is already, even though he’s just now entering the main narrative. He’s won fights, he’s lost fights, he’s shown that he’s a distinct threat to Angel by being as dangerous as he was to Angelus. Angelus was willing to throw expendable minions at him and murder bystanders to hold him off; Angel won’t do the same. I absolutely believe that Holtz can win this, and that invests me in the upcoming conflict far more than any mystical vampire pregnancy ever could.

I want to see more of Holtz. I have far, far less desire to deal with more of the Darla pregnancy angle. Sadly, I’m pretty sure I know which will get more play over the next couple of years of TV.

[shufa1982]

One year of Drawing with light -February 2016-.

Chinese New Year in Lishui(溧水)-Nanjin（南京）

 ...the last “Horse Light Dance “performance was in 2005. The villagers have been waiting for this moment since that time, and the new generations haven’t seen this before. It’s a 24 hours nonstop performance of amazing customs walking, running, dancing, jumping through the fire.

Last year my wife and I got a chance to join our friend’s house in the countryside of Nanjing, a small town named (called) LiShui, located three hours by bus from Nanjing railway station.

Once we arrived to Lishui, my friend picked us up at the bus station. Then her cousin drives us thirty minutes to her parents’ house. We were getting through a real countryside town. At one side of the car; trees, leaves falling down, a real forest, at my right hand; a pleasing lake where it reflects the complete circumference of the reddest sun I ever seen before. From time to time I slide down the window and breathe the clean air, it makes me feel alive, when I arrive to a new place, I always get evocative thoughts about my traveling history, like a mind-movie.  

Her mom welcomed us with a glass of sweet warm water. Her dad gave me a package of expensive cigars. We sat down and while I looking around I found a big canvas with the same view I’ve seen a few minutes before in the car.

A table, some chairs, one door to the patio and that’s it, a humble and comfortable house. Most of the people work during the whole year far from home, so the houses are taken care by the uncles or aunties whom live around. Her father showed me my room, he said: you can leave your stuff and here you are my car keys, you can drive to the mountain, there are amazing sightseen you must shot. The mom takes my wife to the other room.

We went to the mountain, we hiked and Yating is telling us about the places around the town; there you can see the small town, she smiles and pointed with the finger to the south, in that small village – pointing the north - are living my grandparents, there’s were we’ll go tonight. And the wind with its cold hand hit our faces; we sit down and contemplate the whole view. Then I shot some pictures, walked around the lake and we drove home as the sun goes down.

 The Horse-Light Dance

     Early in the morning a bunch of musicians, performers and staff are in the room where they practice with their instruments; prepare the customs and focuses on the performance. The people around is taking pictures, showing to the sons or grandsons the particular tradition. The burned incense creates a mysterious ambient, there’s a bench, and everyone who came in kneeling, light on an incense and pray. I can’t distinguished between the smoke, burned incense and the breath because the freezing weather. I’m so excited to be here and can’t wait to watch the whole show.

     We just finished the dinner and sitting on after a meal, eating seeds and drinking tea, when suddenly the sky was covered with colored fireworks, like an impressionist paint, Pum! Pum! Firecrackers everywhere, people running around. I grabbed my camera, spit out my cigar and while running amongst the crowd I gear up my camera. People were running with their cell phones taking pictures and video, the characters (performers) were running in a row one behind the other, hanging on their horse bellies a candle. Some of them are horse and rider with a candle lamp in the belly; others accompany them dressed in expensive clothes; big hats with golden details and pearls. The musicians were playing their instruments while walking behind the performers.  

The performers represent evil and good, water and fire, wind and earth, they are spirits coming every year from the mountains, first they surrounded the town, during the whole performance they jump fire obstacles, run, dance and then continuo walking.

A few hours after, the spirits are received in the houses with fireworks, and ran into the house in a circle. They fill the houses with blessings and people whom lives there give them cigars, warm water, tea and food. The staff is always with them, lighting the belly’s candle, fixing the clothes, or giving them food and cigars. It takes hours to visit every house in the village.

At the nightfall, good and evil have a fight at the middle of the town; the eternal battle between shadows and light is represented by two riders and their horses. People surround them running in circles doing the shape of a hurricane (semicirculos), while others are raising paper lamps, musicians playing and the fireworks cracking on the air, smoke everywhere, mobiles flashing, people breathing, music, flutes drums, plates, fireworks, firecrackers. At midnight the people came back to their homes, the spirits get back into human beings, the staff put them a jacket, coat or something to protect against cold. We hit the track and went to our friend’s house.  

 Each Family one fest.

We planned to spend two days in Lishui, but our friend’s mom persuades us to stay long. She wants us to be here because each family offers the best dishes they can cook. So if we went back before her fest we’re going to miss her dishes. And thanks god we didn’t!

Every house we went, we were welcomed with a sweet warm water, seeds, cigarettes, tangerines, apples and tea. Women and man cooking, people around the tables talking about their jobs, business and the kids. Some minutes before the food arrives we drank baijiu, a small glass with this fermented rice alcoholic beverage. You don’t drink it by yourself, you have to cheers with someone in the table, said some thankful or warm words. There’re so many idioms about the friendship, the happiness to be with new friends, and family. So every time you toast you receive a new warm phrase.

     The food is in the round table with a swiveling mechanism with different kinds of fishes; spicy vegetable soup, salty chewy mushrooms, bittersweet pork, onion shrimps, spicy eels, stuffed eggplants and more and more dishes fill the table. If we are ten people eating, you must drink at least ten glasses filled with baijiu. At the first round the liquid is warming me up from inside, I can feel it from my stomach till the cheeks. And I’m becoming more fluent in Chinese, an uncle light me a cigar and fill me again the glass, I take the glass and clash it against the nephew’s glass friend, then I show up the empty glass. You will be wrong if didn’t finished the baijiu. Then the grandma bring a delicious fish, more vegetables, chicken and I take some fish and baijiu, some vegetables and baijiu chiken baijiu baijiu baijiu...  

I woke up and saw the roof, the walls, and the opened window with the blowing curtains, I didn´t recognized where I was. I began to recall that I was drinking...then laughing with my friend’s dad, then my wife took me to the room, that was happened yesterday. I smell the food coming from the kitchen. My wife, our friend and her parents start eating breakfast and preparing to take us back to the bus station.  

 Photography tips: Low light shooting.

1.- Shoot at higher shutter speeds to avoid blurry images. If the shutter speed is too low, you will get camera shake and/or motion blur from moving subjects. To avoid thet, you should always try to shoot at faster shutter speeds. You might ask “what is a fast shutter speed?”. It depends on the focal length of your lens. If you are photographing a subject with a wide-angle lens between 10-24mm, you might get away with shutter speeds under 1/50th of a second.

2.- Decrease your aperture to the lowest number (f/stop). Decreasing your aperture means more light will pass through the lens into the camera body, which will allow you to shoot at faster shutter speeds. In order to do that, you would have to either switch to “Aperture Priority” mode or manually override your aperture in whatever mode you are using.

3.- Increase your camera ISO. Increase the ISO (sensor sensitivity) in order to make the sensor collect light faster. If you are shooting at ISO 100 and your camera is telling you that the shutter speed is 1/25th of a second, you will need to increase your ISO to 400 to get the shutter speed of 1/100th of a second. How did I calculate that? Double ISO doubles your shutter speed.

4.- Practice, practice and practice.