#my elias makes me feel weird

[arsbones-kw]

i totally understand previous person that asked. your Elias is AMAZING

I can understand them too

[somuchbetterthanthat]

It was a Twitter thread I did a long time ago but it suddenly slapped me back into the face and I guess now Tumblr is back to being my own rambling house so im just gonna chat more about this

The specific fact that, of all his assistants, Jon thinks Tim would be least likely to pull a prank on him. That's wild and amazing. The fact that it TEARS THEM APART when Jon starts to suspect Tim, afterwards...

I just can't help but sink back in pre-archives time, with researchers not liking Snarky, grumpy, slightly too prideful, trying bit too hard Workalcoholic Jon Sims much, not just because he's not very PLEASANT to be around, but also because clearly he's got the ear of the Boss, y'know, the one who's actually boring and generally a little bit useless for everything else. Using that to make jokes about him being the teacher's pet, etc.

And Tim and Sasha do participate in that, to some degree; but then one day Jon actually hears the more raunchy jokes of some of their colleagues, the rumours about him sleeping with the boss, etc. and there's a twitch of Jon's eyebrows, the tightness of his jaw, and then he's gone without a word or his usual rolll of the eye i'm ignoring this kind of reaction, and Tim feels. Weird about this.

Tim goes to see him where he knows he'll find him: the smoking area, and Jon snaps "What" and Tim's like "you alright mate? You know they're joking out there, yeah?" and Jon snorts and says icily: "yes thank you, I know what bullying looks like, Tim."

Which is when Tim realizes that Jon. Is a 24 year old who's trying to pretend he's ten years older on his first ever proper adult job, who's been trying hard because that's what serious young people who are trying to get recognized DO on their first jobs, and the only one who's been giving him the positive rewarding attention for it is, in fact, Elias. Everybody else has just. Been "joking". Been mean about it. Including Tim.

And Tim, of course, forever a big brother, his whole life built around being a big brother, decides on the spot to now be Jonathan Sims's protector.

[lil-binuu]

If he hits you once

TRIGGER WARNING: manipulation, possessiveness, domestic violence.

I'm a little late to the yandere party (sorry @peppymintdreams i couldn't help it)

This is fiction, not canonically accurate, and not romantic. (I do NOT condone any romanticisation of any kind of abuse.)

If you're underage, be weary as this is quite heavy and not like my usual content.

It is a bit weird to write this stuff, but I wanted to explore the idea of what barista would do in a situation where they realise that their life is not, in fact, a wattpad story and sometimes you can mistake someone who is actually really dangerous and a horrible person, as someone who you love.  And while ofc, this is not Elias canonically, i still wanted to write what he could be like as a more realistic person - especially because the abuse from his father would have affected him regardless, whether it turned into his own aggression or not.

830 words

packing your things to move to another safe house has brought up the topic of your freedom.

“Elias-“

“I’m doing this to keep you safe.”

He already knew what you were trying to talk about. 

“I- I know, but- I want to have freedom. I need to have freedom.”

“You already do.” He replied, blunt and rude. 

“No, I don’t. I can’t speak to my friends, or family, I can't even go outside.”

“You can’t when it’s this dangerous. Do you have any idea how easily you could die if I’m not there to protect you?” 

You hesitated. “I-I know, but I-”

“You don’t stand a chance out there, not without me.” 

You swallowed. You knew Elias was protecting you in a way you couldn’t yourself, but he didn’t have to say it like that. 

Elias stepped towards you, taking your hand. “You know I just want to protect you.” 

You nodded, eyes dropping to the floor. “I know.” 

“So let’s not fight about this.” He wrapped his arms around you in a hug. “You know I’m right anyway. You’re weak, Y/n. You can’t look after yourself, you need me.” 

You frowned. Maybe it was true and you just couldn’t accept it. Elias was there to protect you, why would you try to argue otherwise? He only wants what’s best for you. 

Elias pulled back, facing you with his eyebrows raised, expecting. 

“I’m sorry.” You answered, fulfilling his request. 

But why should you be sorry? It was a legitimate worry, your freedom. Didn’t Elias want you to have freedom too?  

“Come on, we need to keep packing.”

Elias turned away from you, back to the bag he was packing full of clothes. You couldn’t  allow him to change the subject, not when your freedom was at stake.

“Elias,” you sighed, “I wasn’t done talking-“

“Well I am.” His raised voice thundering over your own.

You don’t think Elias had ever spoken to you like this before. Like he didn’t even care about you.

“You can’t make me live like this!”

“I can and I will.” His words cut into you like a knife. This was a side of Elias you had never seen. 

He had never spoken to you like this before. He had never argued with you, never disregarded your feelings, but all of a sudden your concerns were dismissed. Your voice was dismissed.

You could only stand there and stare at him. 

“It doesn’t have to be like-“

“Are you trying to get yourself killed? Elias shouted, shutting you down completely.

“You seriously think you would still be alive if it weren’t for me?” 

Your frustration got the better of you.

“I don’t need you to protect me!” You yelled. 

A hand came down quickly onto your face. 

You froze. 

The side of your face almost numb from the impact. You could hardly register what just happened. 

You slowly looked back to Elias, swallowing as tears began to flood your eyes. 

His chest rising and falling quickly, you could see how angry he was. But did he just hit you? 

After protecting you for so long, promising to keep you safe, you never thought Elias would be the one to hurt you. 

Maybe you shouldn’t have protested against him so much. You didn’t need to anger him, if only you just listened to what he said without complaining. 

But his anger was now imprinted on your skin. 

Elias took a step towards you, reaching out his arm. Instantly you brought up your hands in front of your face. 

“Baby, why’d you flinch?”

You looked at him through the barrier of your arms, bringing your defence down as you realised he hadn’t hit you a second time. 

“I- I..” You choked on your excuse, tears rolling down your face.

“Baby?” He exclaimed, his bittersweet concern almost mocking.  

“You know I would never hurt you, right?” 

You blinked up at him, confused and scared.

He wouldn’t hurt you? He wouldn’t? But your face was red and stinging.

“B-but.. You..” Your hand raised to the side of your face, gently touching the injury. 

“Ah, but I didn’t mean to. I just got so angry, babe. You know I can’t help it.” 

“W- what?” you whispered, searching his eyes. 

He leaned down to your face. 

“Don’t argue with me and you won’t get hurt.” 

You finally realised what you had gotten yourself into. Elias wasn’t some protector, no, he was just another man who made empty promises to keep you around. His words were just lies, sweet lips and a sweet voice in the hopes that you would believe his sweet facade. 

Now you just felt stupid. Why on earth would you think that putting your heart and soul into someone like him would work out? It doesn’t matter how much you like him, under all the leather and chains, he’s just another man with issues.  

And you knew you needed to leave. There was nothing else for you to do.

Silently, you continued to pack. But you weren’t going to a safe house or staying with Elias any longer. You were getting out.

yualll this is kinda shit but whatev

Remember; If they hit you once, they'll hit you again.

And to all of my beautiful people out there, if someone treats you badly in any way it's never ever because of you and you are not alone. Call me up i'll beat their ass. Stay safe <3

[audioroleplayconfessions]

Some general VA opinions I have that are in the back of my mind:

• Escaped Audios has a friendly ass voice. I've only ever heard him speaking OOC like once, but he sounds like he's nice to people. AND IK THAT SOUNDS WEIRD BUT THATS HOW MY BRAIN ARTICULATES IT.

• I frequently think about how gagged I was to realize ZSakuVA is English. I think I found him through Elias or something, and I only ever binge one character at a time so I was none the wiser until I started Noble Trials. Even the, my initial thought was "Damn, I've never heard an American hit an English accent this hard". Either way, great range. Also I like his sound design or whatever it's called a LOT, super emersive.

• The way Yuurivoice responds to some of his asks makes me giggle. Also, audios aside, I think he's done a great job branding his channel, especially aesthetically. I know he has a team and stuff, so props to them too. I could have my phone brightness set extra dim, glasses off, half asleep, and I could spot a YV video from like, a mile away.

• The Stroke Of Midnight seems like a damn sweetheart 😭 I'm not gonna lie, I rarely listen to the ends of videos, but I always listen to his. He's always thanking his editor and the script writer and idk, he just seems so sincere. Also he's mad slept on.

• CastleAudios has one of the most believable self-collabs I feel like. Obviously, she plays all of her characters in her muti-listener collage, but I think aside from the subtle changes in performance, it's her characterization of them. You can TELL when someone knows their OCs, and I feel like she does.

• Mr. Laveau has suuuuuuch excellent song choices in their audios. And honestly, my absolute favorite character designs full stop. The kind of audio you put in 1080p so you can examine the art properly.

• Not a VA, but specifically Lupin-Stole-My-Heart and ItsEsmeJones, I fuck with y'all HEAVY. They have carried some of my favorite series on their backs, MAJOR shout-out to them and anyone who writes scripts. Genuine respect.

• Can't mention writers without bringing up artists too, especially as an artist myself. Those of y'all who make these beautiful designs for VAs, and the VAs who draw their own art, MAJOR PROPS. I think especially right now, I want it to be made known that your contributions are appreciated. Thank you :]

Uhhh idk I think I'll cap it here, since if I went on about every VA I've ever watched, we'd be here forever. Generally though, to all of the VAs, ASMRtists, creators, whatever label fits you best, thanks a bunch. I caaaaaant even put into works how much joy, comfort, and true wonder your stuff has brought me, and others I'm sure. So thank you.

- 🩵🌟 (ps if you guessed who this is from how I type, NO YOU DIDNT).

.

[magpod-confessions]

Hi, no worries about my og ask being deleted, because I’m a weird little freak that writes drafts for my asks in my notes app. So here’s it again:

This is a completely personal opinion, and I’m not faulting anyone for having this headcanon, but I absolutely hate Asian Melanie headcanons, specifically Chinese Melanie.

The reason why is because I am Chinese, and I hate the idea of sharing anything in common with her.

But also, I don’t really like any PoC headcanon for Melanie. I’m not black so I can’t really say how bad it would be, but to me, headcanoning one of the most physically aggressive characters in the show as black is… not great.

And I understand that there are a lot of PoC that relate to Melanie, or see her anger as righteous fury that so many minorities feel.

But to me, she is 1,000% white, mostly because her anger sounds so entitled to me, she’s like “I fought tooth and nail for everything in my life” and it’s… a YouTube channel. Not “I worked so many jobs trying to climb the ladder but everyone looked down at me.” (Which Sasha did have) or “anywhere I go, people look at me with scorn.”

All her anger and the only thing we see that she’s angry about is that she became a meme.(an oversimplification, I know) And maybe she did have to work a lot of jobs until she got to where she is, but we never really hear about it, so it’s a moot point.

I am of the opinion, that all the characters that don’t have a canon race, are written as white, because Jonny Sims is white and he wasn’t trying to write a story about race. But for a lot of them, making the a PoC doesn’t really change their story, but I’ve seen people think otherwise.

The one I’ve seen most is saying that if Jon is brown, it changes his story because of the way Jonah was manipulating him and that he is a victim of police brutality, but I don’t really think that would really affect his story, because Jon isn’t a character that, to me, takes his race in to account for how others treat him. However, Melanie definitely is, if she were anything other than white, she would be loudly declaring the racism that she is met with all the time, as is, she only talks about her experience with sexism.

And I know I’m digressing, but it annoys me to no end when people are like “Jon has to be white, because if he were a PoC he would have been suspicious of Elias, and wouldn’t have been so shocked that he was the murder suspect. And if you think that he could be brown, you’re stupid and racist” And then they’ll turn around and say that one of the other ambiguously raced characters is a PoC.

Like, you’re going to say Jon has to be white because he he didn’t think he was a murder suspect, but turn around and say Martin “you’re the police” Blackwood isn’t one of the whitest characters in the show.

Race doesn’t really make a difference for any of the characters, but some do have more hints of being stereotypically white than others, and Melanie is definitely one of them to me.

Sorry, this got long. And once again, to be clear, I don’t really mind people headcanoning any character as any race, if I see something I don’t like , I just try to scroll past, and I never say anything on the post. I just needed to vent about the general situation of race in TMA, and put my two cents in. (Melanie was just a good starting point for it, and the one I personally have beef with) (also, sorry if it’s confusing, it’s pretty much just all stream of consciousness)

Anyways you can all tell me how wrong and racist I am if you want. 🗣️

Ask that ties to this

Yeaa I definitely see what youre saying. Personally I dont think much abt characters races, bc yea. The majority of it is rly ambiguous but I definitely see what youre saying - rosette

[svampira]

not even halfway done so dont look at it too hard

let me COOK with this one also everybody clap at least the thumbnail isnt purple

[hannahssimblr]

We surface eventually, and clamber down the back stairs and out into sharp morning light, squinting against the sun. I feel like a vampire. My friends’ faces are gaunt and drawn, eyes still black. They look like they’ve been dead for a week. 

Except Jen, sober Jen, who smiles sleepily and stretches her arms, breath condensing in the cold air. “God, that was mad,” she says. “What time is it?”

“Eight,” I say. Being out in the daylight like this is always weird, with families walking around, people going to work, while we are like creatures who have dug our way out of the earth, lurching toward home amongst the living. My mouth is so dry, and my jaw hurts. I foresee an afternoon spent throwing up, head in the toilet bowl, groaning as Jonas hammers on the door, appealing to my sense of humanity by reminding me there’s only one bathroom in the apartment.   

“Oh, well, I should probably pack my bags and stuff.” Jen says.

I rub my eyes. “Oh, your flight.”

“Oh, Jen,” Dalia says with a big sad face, “I wish you could stay,” they hug, and rock each other side to side. “Please, come back and visit. This was so fun.”

“I swear!” Jen says. “I love you guys. Come see me in Dublin!”

“Don’t make them go there,” I say, to which she laughs. “Actually, yeah. Never mind. I’ll come back here! And for longer!”

“Please!” Elias and Dalia cry in unison, and then we leave, trudging toward the train station. 

She snoozes on my shoulder on the U-Bahn, while Jonas and I, wired, wide awake, stare at our reflections in the window all the way back to Kreutzberg. 

I lie on my bed, eyes on the cracks on the ceiling, while Jen shoves things into her suitcase. She’s cleaned off all her makeup, leaving black smudged wiped crumpled on the surrounding floor. 

“This was so fun,” she’s saying. “I had such a good time. I mean, last night was amazing. Did you see I kissed that girl with the fan?”

“The fan?”

“Yeah, she was carrying this weird, lacy fan. Anyway, she was dead pretty. I wish I’d gotten her number.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I tried, but she didn’t speak English. There was no point.”

“So you didn’t speak before you starting kissing her.”

“No, we didn’t need to. I just met her eyes across the dancefloor and we both knew.”

“Ah, nice.”

The mattress shifts under her weight, and her face slides into my vision, pink cheeked, with eyeliner still smudged in the spaces between her lashes. “You’re coming down.”

“Yep.”

“Poor Judie. Rough day ahead.”

“Honestly, it’ll probably be a few days. A week, even.”

“Oof. Do you do this a lot?”

“Too much, probably.”

“Oh well,” she plonks back down to the rug and continues shoving things into her case. “At least I know you’re having fun over here. I’d be worried you’re suffering.”

“Do you worry about that?”

“Kind of.”

I laugh gently. “No, Jenny. I’m not suffering. Things are good.”

She struggles with the zip, and it rasps lowly against the bulk. “I was worried I wouldn’t like your friends, you know. I’m glad I met them, because they’re amazing.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I wish they were my friends. Jonas is adorable. Elias too, so fun, and Dalia is probably the coolest girl I ever met in my life. I never got to ask her what part of America she comes from.”

“Pittsburgh.”

“I dunno where that is.”

“Nowhere close to where I grew up.”

“You sound different when you talk to her.”

Turning my head is an effort, and the room lurches a little. Later, I’ll probably be so dizzy that standing up feels like getting off the waltzers. “How so?”

“Your accent gets more American. Did you know that?”

“No.”

“Well, it does. I suppose when you’re talking to someone from the states you kind of copy what they’re doing, or something. It’s just funny, because you weren’t like that at home.”

“With dad?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, it’s not like I really talk to him, is it?”

She pauses thoughtfully. “Well, I’ve heard you say ‘okay’ to him a few times.”

“Hm,” I say. “Well, maybe I’ll lose my Irish accent while I’m here.”

“Would you like to?”

I shrug. “Sure.”

I shut my eyes in the hopes it will stave off the wave of dizziness that comes over me. My temples throb gently with the onset of a headache. I half listen as Jen goes on about how great my friends are, Jonas, Elias, Dalia. Perhaps she’s hoping I won’t notice who she has left out, but she is wrong. 

“What did you think of Astrid?” I say, and she pauses, just for a beat, before answering with enormous enthusiasm. 

“Oh, she’s gorgeous. You were right. Even better in person than in the pictures.”

“Yeah.” I roll on my side. “She’s incredible looking, I know, but… like, did you like her?”

“Of course I did.”

“Yeah?”

“She’s so nice.”

I hesitate. Astrid isn’t that nice. At least it’s not a word I would use to describe her ahead of something like intelligent, confident, shrewd. Out of all the traits she has that I admire, I couldn’t say her niceness is something that sticks out. It’s not important to me, and I require it from her. Nice isn’t untrue, exactly, but it's not a real answer.

“Your opinion is really important to me,” I say, and she busies herself in her backpack, double checking for her phone charger and passport. 

“No, I mean it,” she says distractedly. “She seems to care a lot about you, and that’s the main thing, you know what I mean?”

On my elbow now, I look at her, pulling things out of her bag and shoving them back in, and my anxiety rises. I wanted our dinner to go a little better, sure, and they could have hit it off more than they did, but Astrid is Astrid. She’s a tough nut to crack at the first meeting. It takes a while for her to warm up, to get comfortable. She takes some getting used to. 

“I know things were a bit awkward there, when we were talking about school, and she didn’t have anything to say and all that.”

She waves this off. ‘No, it’s fine. She didn’t have to say anything. I was more worried about whether we were annoying her by talking about it so much.”

“I doubt it.”

“It’s alright, like, she doesn’t need to have the same humour as me.”

I frown. “Well, you and I have the same humour. In fact, we’re so alike that I thought you’d get along with her.”

“We got along.”

“But you weren’t bowled over.”

She sighs, “Jude, don’t make me talk myself into an awkward position.”

“I’m not doing that. I’m just wondering what you thought.”

“Yeah, but it’s like you’re not accepting my answer.”

“You haven’t answered.”

“I have. I said she’s nice.”

“Yeah, but like, ‘nice’ is a non-answer.”

“She’s not what I expected, right? But there’s nothing wrong with that. I just always thought you’d prefer to go out with a girl that laughed at the same things as you, or was silly and goofy, or, I don’t know, less… severe. I’ll meet Astrid again, and I’m sure I’ll be bowled over. We just didn’t have a lot of time to get to know each other. It was only a few hours, and, I dunno, Jonas was there too, and I was talking to him, mostly.”

“I–” I decide to ignore the first part about the girls I supposedly like. “Well, I hope so. I’d be pretty sad if my girlfriend and my best friend didn’t get along.”

“Everyone is friendly here.”

“Right.”

“I can tell you don’t believe me.”

I sigh reluctantly, and fall back onto the bed. My headache makes my brain slosh against the inside of my skull. “Jenny, I do. I believe you,” I say. “And I’m glad you like her. It’d be really fucking shit for me if you didn’t.”

“Well, I do.”

“I’m glad.”

“Good.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

[echo-of-the-eye]

Tma relisten nr. ???: mag 106 - 107

• damn I kinda forgot the office gossip (ace Jon/jmart) scene and Elias torturing Melanie was in the same episode. Talk about emotional whiplash. The Elias Melanie scene is so damn painful to listen to, no matter how many times I hear it.

• also I feel like I’ve always been too caught up in the “Jon doesn’t” part and that I kinda forgot the end of that scene?

Like. This implies she was gonna ask Martin if he knew about Jon being ace/dating Georgie right? Double checking the gossip she just heard?

• god I love s3 Basira so much. She’s just always reading

• I NEED to know what happened in s3 of what the ghost. Introduced? Introduced what Basira?! I read a post somewhere about how because Georgie can’t feel fear she can’t really hit the horror sweet spot and so maybe the “weird turn” in s3 was going from the earlier seasons being actually too scary to being more silly because Georgie overcompensated when dialing back the horror. So the episodes that we’ve heard are probably from later seasons. That’s my headcanon anyway.

• hearing Jon get progressively more sick in mag 107 is… is it weird to say I enjoy it? Like it’s really sad. And I enjoy it.

• another Jon kidnapping:))) he’s so resigned at this point.

• the cop is a stranger right? If I recall correctly? Cause if so it made me realize how terrified Jon must have been. He sounds so nervous. I mean obviously he’s surrounded by monsters who wouldn’t be nervous. But it’s been like a month since he was kidnapped by the circus. He knows the cop is following him specifically. He’s probably scared it’ll bring him back or something. That has to make it ten times worse.

• did. Did they? Make Jon chop its head off?? Probably not but I find it funny that they made him grab the axe (especially cuz of Jon’s history with axes)

[zabala0z]

Welcome back to the first episode of “Listening to TMA S5, blind” I’m your beloved host and guys. Guys guys. I actually am freaking out.

MAG 161: Dwelling

I’m actually screaming. Hearing the old gang actually made me want to cry. SASHA. SASHA I MISSED YOU :(( also Elias: “I’d like to keep an eye out” you think you’re so fucking funny. I loved the very off key singing of Happy Birthday. Accurate. I wonder if Elias/Jonah sent the tapes for a reason. It’s definitely not to gloat. Is this apart of a wider web of manipulation? The Web style? Also, the fact Sasha could’ve been head archivist. Jesus

Hearing the description of the entities, that they don’t care enough to keep humanity fed and watered unnerved me a lot actually. I don’t know.

MAG 162: A Cozy Cabin

GERRY!!! Nice to hear him as a human, without all the ghost-like qualities. Although hearing Jon rewind the tape over and over and over and over again just made me feel bad.

And then Sasha and Tim.

“we had the ill-advised hookup, the awkward aftermath, and the gradually rebuilt friendship, but – that’s all season two stuff. We’ve got like five more seasons before we get the heartwarming epilogue that makes it canon.”

“No. You took it too far! I’m unforgettable!”

So what if I just ended it all?

Also Jon’s monologue. For a bit, I thought he was “knowing” one of Martins poems that he made during this since Martin was the one who did not like staying at the cabin but no, I was wrong. But time to see the outside world

MAG 163: In The Trenches

I wanna go back to the cabin.

I love TMA so much because of how the format switches up every season. Like season 1 was pretty simple enough with season 2 having Jon add in those supplementals and having a new setting (the tunnels). Season 3 cranks it up with having live statements from recurring characters, statements read by others, and dropping some lore. season 4, while similar to season 1 in terms of format, has Martin reading statements, more god damn lore and some new settings. And now season 5 has uh all this. It’s so amazing and I love it and I’m terrified.

Hearing Jon describe everything going on actuslly made me horrified. Like I got spooked out by the statements but this made me feel so much dread like I’m not even kidding. I also wanna know more about that weird ass doctor and the man with the red flower. Avatars of The Slaughter I presume.

Also that phone. ???? What???

MAG 164: The Sick Village

Gross. While the previous episode made me experience horror, this made me feel disgust. Disgust that just burrowed into my bones (get it. Cause..the episode-). I had such a deep instinct of repulsion. Like actually. I also read the triggers just cause you can never be too careful and I remember thinking, “how can xenophobia be involved with The Corruption?”…apparently xenophobia was very prevalent

Now I know where the whole “Martin’s middle name” thing comes from. I’m glad Basira is alive. And heart broken at the tragedy there is. She’s always chasing Daisy and Daisy is always chasing another thing SOMEBODY SEDATE ME

I think Georgie and Melanie are in the tunnels. It’s been established before that Elias can’t see in the tunnels which probably means Jon can’t see them. I’m glad they are safe. They need it.

Helen! Nice to see her again, I actually cackled when she said “check up on the happy couple”. Nice to see a confirmation about the relationship. This is like the worst time to be dating someone though 💀 Helen’s so happy. I’m sure she has a ton of people in her hallways. I don’t know if she’s lying about the “friend thing, but it’d be funny if she wasn’t

Okay. That’s everything. Sorry for the long wait, I had to take a break after season 4’s finale and then ANOTHER one after listening to the first 3 eps. This is like, actually heavy. Kinda draining. But god, I’m actually going insane.

I want to know how this is going to be fixed. Like. There’s gotta be some happy ending. ??? Right??? Please tell me there is one.

[thelonelyfog]

interacting with fandom is weird.

because on one hand it's like "wow!!! this makes me feel closer to the people from before! gee i sure do miss that!! this is really nice and i'm happy!"

and then on another it's like "wow, what the fuck are these takes? why would you write that? why would you do that? i would not fucking say/do that. they would not fucking say/do that."

and then its also like "how the fuck did you interpret me so well. you're right i would fucking do/say that!!!"

and then theres that point where you're like, "wow, these are just characters to you. yeah you obsess over them and they're your 'blorbos', but in the end, this is all a Story to you. a really compelling one, but fictional nonetheless. my friends and family and loved ones are just fiction to you. to me it is everything. to you this is just a bit of fun."

and then its "im so. fucking jealous. of literally myself??? why am i jealous of myself??? but i know why it's because if elias wasn't a major fuckwad maybe you could've had this and maybe if somewhere else had actually meant somewhere with jon you could've had this and maybe-"

except of course if elias hadn't been a major fuckwad, none of it would've happened at all probably. like, i know i had this conversation with jon before, but it comes to my mind every time i dare to get jealous. because none of this would've happened without everything, would it? like yeah, reading "everyone lives/nobody dies" aus or even aus where the eye just isn't a thing or where it's happier or whatever is nice, but it wouldn't have happened that way, would it? we had that, and it didn't happen. maybe against all odds, something would've happened that would make us see eye-to-eye, but the reality is that jon probably would've just continued being my asshole-ish boss that i was pining for. things would've never progressed further. maybe i would've been closer with tim and sasha, but that's about it.

and i think that's what makes this hurt so much. i wish it could've gone another way. i wish it could've gone any other way, actually. i wish we could've had our happy ending, and not have had to go through so much pain and suffering, but by the time we met, it was already too late for us. how could things have ended any other way, when it was predetermined before we even met for the first time? when the ending was etched into the stars before the stars even knew how to write?

so yeah, interacting with fandom is weird. but i keep doing it anyway. i don't know why. because it makes me feel closer to them? because it makes me happy? i can't explain it and i wouldn't even know how to begin to.

maybe it just makes me feel less Lonely.

i think that's an alright enough reason.

[riveracheron]

eh. might as well post this now. a few of these are wish fulfillment rather than actual theorizing but explanations under the cut

i have an alchemy hyperfixation and all the alchemy stuff in tmagp makes me very excited so a lot of my theories are related to that

spoilers for the pilot btw

main character gets an eye injury - the image will not leave my head. in the magnus institute ruins statement there was this whole thing about redcanary having some kind of encounter with or experience with eye trauma and that feels like something thats just. gonna come up again

another mechanisms va - self explanatory, we need to complete the set. would love to hear kofi or rachel.

gwen has trauma related to something that happened with elias - this is going on the theory that she’s not elias’ counterpart, but a relative of some kind. something spooky happens to him and that pushes gwen to research the paranormal.

character referencing nicholas flamel - all the main characters have names that reference alchemists, and nicholas flamel is probably the most famous alchemist of all time. i doubt he’ll be given the smirke treatment because that kinda already happened with the transphobic wizard books, but someone could be sharing his name.

mag 114 statement is relevant - thats the. hill top road statement that deals with other realities, and anya (the statement giver) could be from the protocol verse. we could totally hear about the aftermath of her departure

alice/sam/gwen = three primes - the three main alchemical symbols on the OIAR crest, and a good sort of symbolic trio sorter. the three peimes are salt, sulphur and mercury, and are the basis for alchemy. the down to earth, reliable salt, the firey, unpredictable sulfur, and the adaptable, easygoing mercury. i think these could apply i just want to have it called out in universe

lena is a good person - i don’t think they’d pull the evil boss thing twice. i just think lena’s weird mannerisms are from her autistic swag

celia is related to or is agnes - (related to as in. her story involves agnes, not that shes like. a sister.) this comes from a theory by @/pinklotjeart, i think. basically: through the way her death was described (spark returned to the lightless flame) and some timeline discrepancies and general avatarness making it weird, agnes might not be Dead dead. and celia’s counterpart, lynne - well, she saw a fire ghost. also, both her and agnes are the only non one-off characters who have shakespeare names afaik. agnes MONTAGUE, celia from as you like it…

annabelle cane is related somehow - self explanatory, she was at hilltop road when everything went down. might have been pulled in.

a famous alchemist is robert smirke’d - self explaining, give me more canon historical figures jonny

another kitty cat - i want more kitty in podcast is that a crime

augustus is not jonah - we hear jonah’s voice as ben meredith in 193, so im skeptical that tim fearon’s character is jonah for that reason.

oiar group has a messy moment that devolves into actual physical violence - mmm angst i think they deserve to smack eachother around a bit

bonzo cult - yeah.

oiar found family - we got the group of coworkers that hate each other angst last time gimme the “hurting one to get to the others” and self sacrifice angst this time

colin dies early - mmmm i cant say much about this bc its based on one throwaway line at the MCM panel where jonny doesn’t mention colin in the main character group. so . death flags.

oiar is containing the entities scp style - this was a super early theory of mine, either this or theyre using them for power or energy in some way. even more heavy handed capitalism metaphors yay

someone gets ushanka’d - its computer horror: the podcast. that’s all

cookbook statement - a few clues in the ARG had to do with cookbooks, and alex and jonny have already said they’re getting weird with the statement formats (they mentioned an insurance report!) so. cookbook doesn’t seem too far-fetched

tiktoker/influencer character - archives was 2010s and they had a podcaster and youtuber, which were like. the big things. whats the hip trend now??? instagram and tiktok baybee

protocol editors va a small role a la mag 100 or the wtgfs cult - those characters were voiced by other rq team members (ie helen as laverne and martyn as robin) and the team has since expanded!! some editors dis stuff for cry havoc, so im guessing nico, annie, april and others will get a small role!

a villain’s goal is creating the philosopher’s stone or other alchemical thing - tmagp is heavily inspired by alchemy, and the philosopher’s stone was the main goal of alchemy!! it would grant you eternal knowledge snd the ability to turn lead into gold- which seems like a good. evil dude’s ambition

the desolation gets more focus - the institute burned down, the oiar crest has a lot of sulfur symbols (the fire element), alchemy as a whole having to do with fire, celia and her connection- it paints a very. lightless flame picture

trip to germany - a lot of the arg was set in and around berlin, and there was that exchange between sam and colin about german in the pilot! i could see a germany trip happening in the same way jon took a trip to china and america.

[bellewintersroe]

Max Verstappen x HornerDaughter!

Part 8, here’s the LINK to part 7, how tf have I got so far already? Pls comment guys to let me know what you’re thinking or if you have any conspiracy’s about what’s gonna happen, I love the engagement, keeps me motivated lol. Also just a quick shout out I don’t dislike Kelly, I just used her for the story as it’s FICTION, if ya’ll hate desperately on peoples partners for no justified reason then leave pls cos it’s weird. Only a short chapter but I wanna get more of a build up before we reach more deeper into the story :)

Leni wakes up with one of the worst hangovers ever, plus, she’s on the bathroom floor? That would be the worst part of the night, but when her memory pieces back together and she has to deal with what happened the night before going back to sleep on the bathroom floor seems fine… Taglist: @ironmaiden1313 @callsignwidow @fangirl125reader @norassimpingzone @roseseraj @eugene-emt-roe @copper-boom @its-elias-world @cassiopeiia24 @larastark3107

“Ugh.” My voice cracked, eyes momentarily opening only to squeeze shut again when a blinding light, sunlight, stung my eyes. My first thought was, fuck, I’d left my contact lenses in, my second, why on earth was on the bathroom floor?

Momentarily I was dazed, my eyes feeling like they had cheese shredders in them. I peeled the dry lenses out of my eyes, dropping them in the toilet. Thankfully it was a clean toilet and I didn’t wake up to my own vomit. With a groan and a slight grace, I sat up straight, blinking around the room. My phone laid besides me, and shakily, I reached out to unlock it. As I did I wanted to curl up and DIE. A drunken text from Max only caused flashbacks from the night prior. We kissed, and I really fucking enjoyed it. Me and Max kissed. Max Verstappen and I, my long time FRIEND kissed. My heavy head dropped into my palm, groaning again. I’d broken every single rule I’d set myself, NOT to go there, or at least wait a few months. Drunken me seemingly had the control of a horny 18 year old. When I realised I had 0 underwear on that’s when I became even more confused.

We hadn’t had sex? No, no. For sure we hadn’t done that. I don’t think he fingered me? Turns out they were stuffed in my bag for some bizarre reason, and I couldn’t quite piece together why on earth they weren’t actually on me. I don’t even know if I wanted to know, thinking about it too much gave me a serious case of hangxiety, and my poor stomach couldn’t tolerate it. Pathetically, I wretched over the toilet and threw up even more contents from my nights intake.

Please God, stop me being sick and I will never drink again. Ever!

It was crazy how such an extreme hungover could bring an atheist to become religious, right? With last nights actions I couldn’t even bring myself to respond to Max, plus, his message made no sense, something about being too drunk and his birthday. I felt too much shame, he probably only kissed me because he was just as fucking plastered. I was confident he’d never want to do that sober, surely not?

The only thing I could do was sit down in the shower, contemplating every single action from the night before, letting the water cleanse my skin of the pure sins. What would my dad say if he knew I’d been snogging his golden boy? It would make it awkward to say the least.

I laid in bed, hair dripping onto the pillows but I didn’t have it in me to care. I’d added too much embarrassing shit to both my private and public Instagram story which had already been viewed and most likely screenshotted thousands of times. Mortified wasn’t even the right word, if it wasn’t for my empty stomach I would’ve vomited from that alone.

Max: sorry that made no sense, hope you’re not feeling too rough this morning? thank you for coming yesterday I had such a good time Max: I hope nothing makes you feel weird from last night, it’s fine between us right?

When I awoke at 2pm I felt my chest tighten at Max’s texts. I even smiled that he had acknowledged last night, a little weird of me seeing as I wanted to pass away earlier, but with my hangover relatively slept off, my feelings for Max were coming on strong.

Leni: hey I just woke up again sorry, I had such a good time, hope you had a good bday

Leni: I don’t feel weird, we’re all good Leni: do you? I caught myself smiling a little too hard, awaiting his reply, when I saw the speech bubble of him forming a response and started giggling, I knew that I was already a goner. I was so deep down afraid of getting my heart broke seeing as Max was fresh out of a relationship (even if he’d mentally checked out) I had to push myself away from any kind of intimate interaction. It had already gone way too far.

Max: no, no not at all

Max: probably the best birthday I’ve had I hated how hard I smiled, my heart kinda sunk when I began overthinking everything I didn’t need to. It all seemed fun now, but how would something between Max and I ever work. What if he decided one day this was all too soon, or if he didn’t actually like me? Our friendship would be screwed forever. I hesitantly locked my phone, staring off into space as I began imagining every scenario possible. I’d have no option but to revert whatever happened between Max and I back into how it was before, if that was even possible. What if Max suddenly thought I was super obsessed with him and I was bugging him by texting him too often?? I scratched my head uncomfortably at the thought, cringing down to my bones at the idea I could possibly be a nuisance to him.

One way to fix this??? Cut communication online from slim to nothing- or as least as I possibly could without growing attached or seeming rude. It was a plan, and it was a plan that commenced today, as much as I didn’t actually want to do it, as long as I didn’t have a sip of alcohol I’d be fine… right?

What could go wrong?

[oleksiak-pettersson]

Pick Me - Elias Pettersson

howdy hey everybody! It's been a hot minute... sorry not sorry.

this is the first part of a three part series i've been cooking up in my head for a few years now. I want to emphasize that this is set in a completely fictional world and is complete AU. The Canucks featured in this fic don't play hockey in the story. The timeline is also not accurate to real life.

warnings: angst, a certain celebrity featured as the villain, pregnancy, labour, swearing, this is an AU, only Quinn still plays hockey, almost cheating, emotional cheating in a way (will be expanded on more in the next parts)

word count: 4.5k

Pick Me | Choose Me | Love Me

There’s nothing better than the warmth of a comforter wrapped around your body. You pull it closer around your body, not caring if it leaves your lover without.

Your eyes blink open slowly, arms clutching the pregnancy pillow to your chest, comforter wrapped around the pillow and over your body.

As your eyes blink open, once, twice, a third time, you notice that at some point in your restful slumber, you’d stolen the comforter completely from your husband. Never one to complain, Elias must’ve grabbed the second duvet from the hall closet.

Your husband is lingering in the bathroom, you can hear the sink running as he goes about his morning routine.

He must notice you moving, as he approaches softly. He’s freshly showered and the smile on his face is soft and mellow in the morning light.

“Hi,” you murmur, taking in his beauty as it’s illuminated by the golden sun. His blue eyes twinkle with fondness as they take in your sleepy form.

You stretch a little, turning over to the side of the bed he sits on. His hand comes up and brushes a stray eyelash from your cheek. He holds it up to show you and let you make a wish, a simple gesture you taught him in your early stages of dating. There’s a kind of tenderness to his touch that no one else could quite possess.

“Hi.” Elias smiles back, hand falling from your face to hold yours. “How did you sleep?”

“So good, these two didn’t move a bit.” You prop yourself up against the headboard, free hand coming to rest on your belly.

“Probably too exhausted from kicking you all day yesterday,” Elias jokes, his smile causing his eyes to crinkle. He leans forward and presses his lips against yours. It’s a soft and sweet kiss. His mouth is minty fresh from brushing his teeth and it makes you smile.

He’s slow to pull away and you chase his mouth as he goes. He chuckles softly, hand caressing your cheek. 

“I’ve got to go meet Brock and Quinn soon for golf, I made you breakfast, it’s on the counter,” he announces, standing back up and stretching.

“What no in bed delivery? The service here sucks,” you lilt, the teasing evident in your voice. Ever the drama Queen, Elias rolls his eyes leaning down to press a kiss on your forehead.

“I’ll be back this afternoon, call or text if you need anything.” And with that he’s out the door.

You stretch as you get up, your back cracks and your belly feels heavier than normal. You feel like you’re resting lower than yesterday and there’s a weird feeling settling in your gut. You shake it off though, pulling on your lounging outfit. Your doctor had warned you about Braxton hicks contractions and you were sure that this feeling in your belly had to be that.

Your due date was fast approaching and you couldn’t wait. Pregnancy is hard enough but when you’re carrying twins it’s a whole other beast. You’re incredibly lucky to have such a kind partner who has taken such good care of you. Elias’ job as a content creator allows him to control his hours, unlike his good friend Quinn who captains the local Vancouver NHL team and whose schedule is rigid with intense travel.

It’s a slow waddle to the kitchen and you take it slow. One of your cats lounges in the middle of the hallway and you have to gently nudge her from your path with your foot. She mewls in uproar but does nothing to stop her movement. You have to lean against the wall in support to move her and your stomach twists once again. You take a breather against the wall, staring up at the popcorn ceiling.

Upon finally reaching the kitchen, you feel the need to sit down. The kitchen island chairs look incredibly unsupportive and the kitchen table has the worst chairs for relaxing. You let out a huff at the idea of having to move into the living room.

Your breakfast is still warm and you bring it into the living room to relax on the couch. The pain isn’t slowing down but instead seems to be moving up your back.

It’s just Braxton Hicks, you think. There’s no way I’m going into labour.

You find a comfortable position on the couch and rest your plate on your belly. Your feet come up to rest on the coffee table and you flick through the channels. 

The scrambled eggs and toast is just what you needed. The pain in your gut quells a little and you find the perfect spot on the couch to rest. There’s a throw blanket hanging on the back of the couch and you pull it over yourself.

Both cats follow your lead and curl up near you on the couch. You hold your hand out trying to call either into your lap, but neither take the bait. You sigh, moving slightly in an attempt to tuck the blanket under yourself but giving up quickly as you tire.

The curtains that cover the living room windows are wide open and the light from the mild spring day is bright but you can’t find it in yourself to get up. The simplest of actions, getting up and getting food, have exhausted you and your eyelids begin to feel heavy.

//

You wake up with a jolt of pain that causes your whole body to cease. The groan that leaves your mouth causes both cats to jump up from the couch and disappear down the hall.

The pain is intense and you briefly can’t move. It’s over as quick as it came on. You sit up on the couch trying to regulate your breathing. Your heart is racing as you throw the blanket off of your body and stand up. 

There’s no more denying it. You’re in labour. You need to find your phone and get a hold of your husband. It’s time.

The waddle down the hallway back to your bedroom feels like an eternity, you know there’s time before your next contraction will ripple through your body but you still feel a bit panicked. You twist your wedding ring around your finger as you go, trying anything to calm the fog of anxiety that’s beginning to descend around you.

Your phone is where you left it the night before, on the nightstand still plugged in to the charger. You’ve got a single notification, a text from Elias’ coworker Natasha Dion, inviting you out for brunch next week.

But there’s no time to respond to her. You need Elias. You perch yourself on the bed, legs holding you up as you focus on your phone.

You quickly unlock the phone, your face ID failing you - forcing a password attempt that you’re not too sure how you even managed to get the numbers correct. You close the instagram app sloppily, a leftover from last night's pre-bed scrolling session, and open your phone app.

Elias’ contact is the most recent number you’ve called and you waste no time clicking on it.

The phone dials up and the line begins to ring. You stifle a sob and try to take a deep breath as the line continues to ring. Your free hand cradles your belly. One of the twins moves beneath your hand, causing a little chuckle to leave your mouth.

“Mama will see you soon,” you murmur, the line continuing to ring in your ear.

Suddenly there’s a beep and Elias’ voice comes through. “Hey, you’ve reached Petey. Can’t get to the phone right now but leave a message and I’ll get back to you.”

“Shit,” you curse and then the beep sounds through. “Hi babe, it's me. Um, I think I’m in labour and I need you to get home uh, right away? Call me back please.”

You take another breath, trying to remember what they taught you in Lamaze class. You flick through your brain trying to recall the class you practised breathing. You can see the teacher saying something in your mind but you can’t hear it, you were too focussed on the feeling of your husband's rock hard abs against your back. It certainly hadn’t helped your breathing, to the point that the teacher had come over and corrected your breathing. Again though, Elias’ breath on your shoulder had distracted you.

Goddamn your sexy husband and his too-hot-to-handle existence. 

You decide to send him a text too.

To Hubby: Hi babe, can you call when you can? I’m pretty sure I’m in labour…

Another contraction convulses through your body. Your spine feels like it’s on fire and your belly tightens. You cry out vocally, trying to breathe rhythmically. You let yourself fall back against the pillows, just trying to get through the pain. You dig your fingers into the comforter, eyes screwing shut. It’s way worse than any period cramp you’ve ever had and you find yourself cursing your husband under your breath. Of course he can’t fucking be reached right now. Asshat.

Once the pain eases, you force yourself back up and grab your phone. There’s no new notifications and you resist the urge to cry. Then it hits you, Elias is golfing with Brock and Quinn. Brock’s phone is always on, something about never wanting to miss a call from his agent for the next big Hollywood hit or whatever, you don’t care about his reasoning right now but you’re thankful for him.

The phone starts to ring and you click the speaker phone option. It rings once before there's an answer. God bless Brock.

“Hello gorgeous mother of my future godchildren, how are you?” He answers, charming as always. 

“Hey Brock,” You chuckle at his greeting, trying to hide the tinge of pain behind your voice. “Can you give the phone to Elias? He’s not picking up and I think I’m in labour.”

There’s a pause on the other end and some shuffling. You think you can hear Bella in the background asking what's going on, that causes you to furrow your eyebrows. Why would Bella be golfing with them? She hates it as much as you do. Then you hear the phone being grabbed from Brock’s grip as he cries out a loud “hey!’.

“Babes, Petey isn’t here with us?” Bella states, sounding equally as confused as you.

“Put it on speaker,” Brock demands in the background, not as loud as Bella. The sound of the phone shifts slightly as she switches it.

“He said he was golfing with you and Quinn today.” You reply, groaning as another shockwave of pain runs over you. You groan loudly into the phone. The pain causes you to drop the phone on the bed and forget the phone call as you try to breathe it out.

“That’s impossible because Quinn is in-” Brock counters, slightly oblivious to your pain. You love him to death but he can be such a blonde sometimes.

“Brock, it doesn’t matter right now,” You can hear the annoyance in his girlfriend’s voice as she interrupts his thoughts. Her focus is quickly back on you. “Y/N, are you in labour?”

The cry of anguish you respond with clues her in immediately. She springs into action on the other side of the phone. “Brock, get the keys. We have to get her to the hospital.”

“No.” You cry out, pain subsiding slightly. 

“Y/N, babes, you’re in labour,” Bella levels, her calmest and most rational voice on full display. It’s what you need right not but the irrational part of your brain doesn’t want to leave without your husband. “Brock will keep calling Elias but we need to get you to the hospital.”

“Okay,” you relent, getting up from the bed slowly, you pick your phone up and head for the nursery.

“Do you need me to stay on the phone with you?” She asks, Brock is in the background stomping around the apartment. Anyone unfamiliar with the actor would think he’s mad, but knowing him, you know that’s just simply the way he moves. A lot less elegance than he looks like he may possess. 

“Yes please.”

///

In the time it takes Brock and Bella to get to your apartment, you manage to change and grab your go-bag before letting yourself relax on the couch. You achieved all of this between crippling contractions. 

Your favourite two people in the world let themselves in with the key they have to your apartment. They have sympathetic looks on their faces as they take in the sight of you on the couch. 

You must look like a mess, you’re sweaty and stressed. “Hi,” is all you manage from your spot.

“Hi gorgeous, ready to go become a mama?” Bella coos, squatting down in front of you. There’s a glimmer of excitement in her eyes and you can feel it now too. It’s slowly becoming real. You nod, holding out your arms so she can help you up. You brace against her arms as you get up, smiling gratefully.

Brock stands behind her sheepishly, flitting with his phone. His thumbs are moving a mile a minute and you hope to god that he’s talking to Elias and Elias is on the way.

“Is Elias going to meet us there?” There’s hope in your eyes that slightly breaks Brock’s heart.

In a split second decision, he lies. “Of course, so we should get going.”

Truth is, Brock has no fucking clue where his best friend is. He has no fucking clue why Elias lied about being with him. He sure as hell knows he’s going to chew out Elias’s ass the moment he tracks the Swede down.

The lie does seem to pacify you and Brock is quick to be at your side and help you to the car, Bella follows along behind, having grabbed the go bag. Brock leads you down the hallway as his girlfriend locks the apartment. 

///

Brock has never been more stressed in his life. He was once looking forward to having children of his own with his beautiful girlfriend but after driving you to the hospital in the state you were in, he’s not so sure. You cried out in pain nearly every 8 minutes on the way, Vancouver traffic never one to be considerate of a crisis.

The screaming from the back of his car had Brock white-knuckling the steering wheel and peaking sheepishly in the rearview mirror at Bella holding your hand. The pale look on his face nearly caused Bella to laugh, until you gripped her hand harder, head thrown back against the seat headrest. 

Between glancing back to make sure you’re okay and glancing at his Apple CarPlay in hopes of a response from your husband, Brock was struggling to pay attention to the road. 

Not the best attitude to take when driving a pregnant woman to the hospital. It caused your anxiety to skyrocket and Bella to yell at Brock which certainly did not help the situation.

Upon arriving at the hospital, Brock is quick to let you and Bella out at the emergency entrance, before circling around to go find a parking spot.

Bella has your elbow in her arm, supporting you as she guides you to the entrance. Your go-bag is over her shoulder.

“Thank you,” You murmur between breaths. The gratitude is quickly overtaken by a contraction though and you stop dead in the middle of the entryway, paralyzed with pain. Bella is quick to hold you up.

“Breathe, just like this,” her lips purse and she blows out her breath in a weird pattern. You copy along as a nurse approaches you. You recognize her as the nurse who does your check-ups.

“Hi Mrs. Pettersson, looks like we’re having these babies,” She smiles, coming to your other side and helping Bella guide you to the wheelchair an orderly brought over. You just nod your head, trying to follow along with Bella’s breathing technique. 

The orderly begins pushing you along to a room, the nurse lags behind with Bella. The nurse has a look of concern on her face as she turns to Bella.

“Where is Elias?” She inquires, she’d always admired how dedicated your partner was during check-ups. He always had questions and a detailed list of what you’d been experiencing since the last check-up. It had taken her by surprise when he wasn’t there but ever the professional, she’d schooled her shock.

“I don’t know, he should be arriving soon.” Bella supplies, speeding up to keep up with you.

The nurse nods her head and heads back to her station to grab her gear. Brock comes rushing through the door, spotting his girlfriend lingering outside of your room. 

The nurse slides between them to get into your room, the door is cracked as she begins to get you ready. Bella brings your go-bag in as you get changed into an IV-compatible gown. She plugs in your phone charger and checks to see if there’s an update from Elias. Your phone only shows a text from your mom. 

“Y/N, your mom texted, should I let her know?” She calls out to you.

Your reply comes muffled through the bathroom door. “Yes please.”

Both Bella and the nurse chuckle at your response. Bella is quick to shoot off the text, eyes lingering on where Brock is pacing outside the room. His phone is in one hand and the other is pulling at his gorgeous blonde locks in what can only be described as one of the most stressed actions she’s ever seen.

As you settle in the hospital bed and the nurse begins to fasten different machines to you. You’re oblivious to the stress emanating off of the actor outside of your room as you relax between contractions.

“Is it too late for an epidural?” You inquire sheepishly. Your nurse laughs.

Bella excuses herself and slips outside. She swears she shuts the door as she joins Brock outside. They can still see into your room, you’re chatting politely with your nurse as she fixes the blood pressure cuff around your bicep.

“Do you know when Elias will be here?” She asks softly.

Brock’s face drops as he turns away from the window. He’s seen your lipreading skills before and even though you’re distracted, he’s not taking the risk. “No.”

“Well what did he say when you talked to him?” Bella inquires, eyebrow peaked in interest. She also turns away from the window.

“I didn’t.” Brock says, eyes dropping to the floor. “I don’t know where Elias is.”

“But you said-”

“I needed to keep her calm,” Brock makes eye contact with Bella, the love for you is clear behind his eyes and she softens at the admission. “She can’t know that he’s not coming.”

“He’s not coming,” Bella repeats, trying to wrap her head around the fact.

“What do you mean he’s not coming?” Your voice sounds from behind them; you’re standing in the doorway, gown-clad and attached to a mobile IV unit. The look of shock on your face breaks both Brock and Bella’s hearts. Your voice grows quieter. “You said he was coming”.

Brock reaches out to comfort you but you’re now freaking out like he’s never seen before. The heart rate monitor spikes and the nurse in the room rushes to get you into bed.

There’s so much emotion flowing through your body. You’re hyperventilating and want to scream. No one is prepared for the way you pass out. Brock and your nurse lunge to catch you, struggling to get you into the hospital bed.

“Shit, shit, shit.” Brock is also freaking out now.

The nurse has no time for him though as she reaches for a large red button on the wall. Bella stands idly in the doorway watching the chaos unfold. She’s frozen in shock, unsure what just happened and what she needs to do.

The nurse is quick to spring into action, and she peers over her shoulder at your two companions. “You both need to get out of here. We have to take her to the operating room.”

///

Elias’ phone is on the counter in the other room. He’d placed it on the kitchen counter as soon as he’d entered Vanessa’s luxury penthouse. He’d had to dance around baby toys sprawled around the floor but it made him chuckle thinking about how your apartment would soon look like that.

Elias had met Vanessa Morgan a year and a half ago when he and Natasha had helped with creating some ads for Riverdale’s production team. He kept his friendship with the actress on the lowdown from you. You’d been suspicious of her since you’d met her. She seemed weirdly obsessed with your husband, but Petey thought of her as a friend.

He’d offered to help her set up some of the baby furniture she hadn’t had the chance to before she’d had her baby three months ago. 

He’d already finished the changing table and the glider chair. Elias was working on the crib, the instructions almost confusing to him. He’d had no trouble putting the twin’s cribs together. To Elias, it was something a father-to-be should take pride in. 

It’s why Elias stepped up for Vanessa. Her baseball player husband had left her early in her pregnancy. He couldn’t comprehend how a man could up and abandon his family with no hesitation.

“How’s it going in here?” The short actress asks from the doorway. She’d just finished putting her little guy down for a nap, thankful she’d been wise enough to buy a bassinet for her bedroom for her baby’s first few months.

“I think you may have bought the most complicated crib in the world,” Elias laughs, looking up at his friend with a playful smile. “Did he go down for his nap easily?”

Vanessa nods, strutting into the room, she admires the other pieces of furniture he’s built in his couple of hours helping her. “I’m surprised you’re not with your wife today.”

Elias hums, his focus back on trying to fit the pieces together. “What do you mean?”

“She’s getting close to her due date, isn’t she?” She inquires, there’s a tone to her voice that Elias can’t quite place. The tone he can't quite place? Smugness. The kind of hubris possessed by a woman with ill-intentions.

“Yeah but all the boys in my family have arrived late,” Elias insists, twisting the screw driver. “She’ll be fine.”

Vanessa could point out that his wife is carrying twins and therefore more likely to have her babies early but why would she force Elias back into his wife’s arms? No, she’d much rather keep him to herself for as long as possible.

While Elias might think of Vanessa as his friend, Vanessa thinks of Elias in a less pg way. She’d been wanting to get into his pants since the first time they met. Of course she was married at the time, but it had never stopped her before. 

“You know, that looks like hard work,” She starts, adopting her most sensual voice. She’s determined to reel him in. “Why don’t I make you a snack?”

Elias is quick to agree and they both proceed to the kitchen. He leans against the kitchen counter as she scuttles around the kitchen. Vanessa hands him a glass of water that he accepts happily and sips slowly as he watches her.

“How’s the show going?” He asks, as she gathers condiments from the fridge.

She smiles at him, placing her ingredients down on the counter beside him. “It’s good, they’ve been really good about me staying back with River.”

Elias nods, thinking about how easy it’ll be for him to help out with the twins with his job that he can work from home. “That’s awesome. You’ve got a good support system, hey?”

“Yeah, I’m extremely grateful for everyone in my life,” Vanessa puts her butter knife down on the counter, turning to Elias and moving closer to him. She places a hand on his chest and begins to trail her fingers along the ridges of his body. “Especially you, you’ve been so good to me.”

Elias freezes, this must be what you meant when you said Vanessa had a weird energy to her when it came to him. She leans in close, and he can feel her breath on his face. He’s briefly amazed that such a short person can reach him so easily but then she closes her eyes and leans in.

He’s saved by the bell. Okay, maybe not quite a bell but the loud, shrill ringing of his phone is a close enough substitute. He dodges out of her reach to grasp his phone. Brock’s profile picture is on display and once he’s certain she’s not following him, he clicks the green connect button before retreating into the living room with his phone pressed against his ear.

“Hello?” Elias says into the phone, silently thanking whatever deity he can that Brock saved him.

“Dude where the fuck are you?” Brock starts, he sounds panicked and Elias is instantly worried. “Actually, I don’t fucking care. You need to get down to Vancouver General now.”

“Why? Brock, what’s going on?” Elias demands, pacing around the living room.

“Your wife went into labour. After finding out you weren’t coming, she passed out and had to be rushed into an emergency c-section to save the babies.” Brock recites robotically. Elias has never heard his best friend so angry at him. 

Then Brock’s words hit him. His heart stops, and he jolts to. “I’ll be right there.”

///

Elias is quiet as Brock and Bella lead him to your room. Neither of them could truly look at him after he’d told them where he was. He couldn’t blame them.

He was a bit of a wreck. He’d driven over the speed limit to get to you. He hadn’t been there when you needed him and something could’ve happened to you or your babies.

Your room is also quiet. There’s a small whimper coming from one of the bundles in your arms. He stops dead in his tracks, seeing you holding your twins is everything he’s ever wanted. You, the love of his life, with his children. And he missed their arrival.

“Hi,” He says, finally. He’d stood in the doorway somberly long after Brock and Bella had headed home. He’s sure Brock has already informed Quinn of what happened, that’s why his phone is blowing up in his pocket.

“Hello,” you reply coldly, without even looking up at him. Your eyes remain on your sweet boys the entire time. You’d known he was standing there since the moment Brock and Bella led him there.

Your reply is a sharp contrast to the way you’d been with him this morning. It’s shocking to Elias how a single day can change everything in a mere matter of hours.

“So, we’ve got sons.” He starts, dragging his feet on the floor as he walks over to occupy the seat beside your bed.

“Well, we knew that already.” You deadpan, finally looking up at him. There’s pure hurt behind your eyes and Elias wants to reach out and hold you but he knows better.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. 

You scoff. “Whatever.” 

Elias reaches for a baby and you hand him one.

“I’m here now and I’m not leaving.” He says, sure of himself. It’s too bad you don’t believe him.

Next Part

[stefanmikaleson1864]

Who am I without you ?

A/N: Writing for Elias is a little difficult in the fact I'm trying not offended anyone considering his character but I also have more ideas for him I just wanted to get my feet wet

Elias Voit X Reader 

“You didn’t know” “how could you not know something like that” “What’s wrong with you” is all the questions you were constantly being asked after Elias got arrested.

Like you were supposed to know you were in love with a serial killer. 

It’s not like on the first date he flat out told you and promised not to kill you if you didn’t tell anyone.

They didn’t know him like you did. Or at least you thought. But that’s the thing that you couldn’t seem to let go. 

Was he really like that could he really be a nice carrying person. Who always went out of his way to show you how much he loved you. He brought you your favorite snack when you were feeling sad. 

He loved watching movies with you and he always remembered when it was a special event.'

He always made such a big deal about the littlest thing that always made you feel so much more special. 

That’s who he was the person who loved you more than anyone else has your entire life. And now what ?

You were supposed to just move past that ? Just throw it all away like it didn’t mean anything to you. 

Putting together Sycarus and Elias as the same person was something that you couldn’t do. I mean despite everyone telling you what he did and how many lives he took and how many people he hurt. You thought you could just turn it all off. 

Just cut it off and turn it off but you couldn’t. Do you wanna know the real twisted part about all this.

Was you still found yourself attracted to him. In a weird way you wanted to know more about Sycarus. 

What was he like ? Was that the real him ?  All you wanted was to take a look at the other side,

It felt like something was pulling you there and you couldn’t explain it. Was it because it was unknown to you ?

Elias had been writing and calling you from prison non stop asking you to come down and visit.

You knew he could never publicly admit to being a killer or his deal would be off. But you just wanted to be let in for just a brief moment. 

This whole time you just ignored him. You wanted to gather your feelings before you reached out to him. If went so confused you knew you would just get to wrapped up and not have a chance to get out your own feelings before he twisted them up for you. 

But now, it was your time to go. You were ready to finally look him in the eyes and get the answers you were so clearly desperate for. 

It was a little bit of a drive up to the prison and you were kind of glad for that to be honest. You wanted time to clear your head and mentally prepare yourself. 

You couldn’t tell how you were feeling. Would you judge me if most all you were excited ?

Like you were having these butterfly feelings and you took a while to pick out a outfit. Was it wrong that you picked out the leather jacket that he brought you. 

With the nice shoes he brought. Omg its so bad that you even sprayed the fanciest perfume you owned with out even thinking. 

Was this to make him realize what he’s been missing ? Or to make him want you ? to be honest you weren’t sure and to be even more honest you still kind of wanted him to want you. 

Your mind wandered so much that you didn’t even realize you made it to the prison. It was more complicated getting in because he wasn’t just a regular prisoner he had to be more complicated. 

The prison was loud and people were yelling and there was so much commotion going on at the same time.

You felt the need to constantly look over your shoulder as you were walking down the hall even though everyone was already locked up. 

Your hands were sweaty and it felt like each step you were taking was a giant heavy one where you were carrying an extra 500 pounds. 

Your heart was beating so fast you thought for sure it was going to fly out of your chest.

The other rational part of you thought to just run away. You know this was not a good idea and every sane person could tell you that. 

But finally you were standing at the door to be let in. Only a door stood between you and him. This was what you wanted you kept telling yourself over and over again. 

The officer opened up the door and it felt like it took 2 years for that thing to open. Your eyes were suddenly glued to the floor as the officers had kind of push you in there. 

“Well Helloo there look who finally stopped on by” Elias’s voice rang out in the cell. Suddenly your blood went cold and you didn’t know what to feel. 

“You know you can leave us alone I promise I don’t bite” Elias said laughing. 

You felt so cocky before and know it was real it was different. In a way you couldn’t explain. You finally worked up the courage to take your eyes off the floor and walk up to him. 

He was just standing there with his head tilted towards the side a little and it his eyes meant yours. Those big beautiful eyes that you fell in love were just staring right at you. 

It was like he was just reading you like he was trying to give you the reaction that you wanted ? Or are we overthinking it just because you know what he is now. Your mind was racing you didn’t know exactly what to say. 

“MM I like that Jacket your wearing did you wear it for me. And what about that perfume” Elias said in a playful manner. 

I mean you did wear it for him but did you want him to know? You weren’t sure yet because your feelings had suddenly changed so fast just by being in here. 

So you decided to play him and test the waters and see where it goes. 

“Nah I like this Jacket and it’s cold outside you know” You said smiling at him. 

“Ah i see it’s like this now is it” Elias said. 

“Well you know me what’s the point if you can’t have any fun” You said, you also took a little step closer which he noticed right away. 

Like nothing was getting past him in this moment. His radar was like at thousand if you even blinked a little more than usual he was going to notice. 

“So what did you wanna tell me” You asked trying to pry him open. 

“Maybe I just wanted to see my best girl” He said quickly back like you guys were on a match and throwing punches back to each other. 

“Please don’t do me like that you have an agenda you always have an agenda” You said quickly. 

“There’s something you want I know it that’s why now you came to visit me I know hell the guards over there know even that shithole of a BAU knows it” He said. 

“Fine if your gonna be like that I’m just going to leave” You said 

Taking a step back and there it was you felt like you had checkmate because when he saw you take that step back something in him changed. It looked like he was sad and worried 

“Come on wait I’m sorry okay I genuinely did miss you I missed this our back and forths.” He said in a lower tone

It felt like he was being truthful; you just felt like you knew it in your heart. He had lowered you back in and you didn’t want to leave. 

And after pausing for a second you stepped back in and walked up closer than you have been.

His hands were gripping the bars and you just wanted to reach and and feel his skin on yours one more time. 

But you knew you weren’t allowed to touch him and you didn’t wanna ruin the risk of cutting the already short visit you were allotted even shorter. 

“Answer me this please” You said in a soft voice. 

“Was it real any of it” You asked in the same vulnerable voice. 

Elias just kind of stood there looking at you and his hands on the bars loosened up and he kind of softened up his body a little. 

“Yea yeah it did” Was all he said. 

You couldn’t help the feeling but you felt a tear run down your face.  It was hard i mean it really did feel like he was being sincere and you wanted him more than anything. Right now looking at him it didn’t even matter what he did you missed him. 

What the hell was wrong with you, you knew it was wrong but you couldn’t deny that there was still an undeniable chemistry between the two of you.

Like you wanted to just be close to him. 

All those feelings that you were so worried about before that you weren’t sure about you suddenly knew, it was for him the real him. 

I think he knew that to he was reading you like a damn paper. It was like he was analyzing you trying to match with you. Maybe it wasn’t a bad thing you couldn’t tell at the moment. 

“You wanna know don’t you” He asked meeting your eyes again. 

“Look i just can’t help but wonder” You trailed off mid sentence

He gave you one of those famous half smiles that he does and he knew what the hell he was doing. 

‘Come on baby there isn’t anything wrong with that I like it actually” He said smiling. 

“One minute left” The guard yelled out 

“You know I hope your doing okay out there back at home without anyone there. Must be scary all alone but it’s a good thing we got good neighbors who watch out for us” Elias said. 

“I’m grateful for that” You said. 

‘I love you”” Elias said 

“I love you to” You said back 

“Let’s go” The guard yelled out. 

You and Elias just kind of looked at each for a moment before you turned around and left.

You made it through the sea of yelling people who scared the shit out of you. 

When you made it outside you breathed the fresh air not realizing how nice it felt.

You got into your car and you knew what the hell Elias was talking about with that website. 

But if you knew if you looked there would be no going back and it would change everything for you. 

On the other hand things have already changed for you, it was safe to say you weren’t the same person as before so did it really matter. 

Maybe it was time to embrace the new you and just stop fighting what ever the hell you were pushing down.

Because you wanted to be close to him. In any way and fashion and you knew deep down he wanted that with you to.

You just hoped in the end he wouldn't end up being the end of you when he was supposed to be the future of you

[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

My reactions to episode 5 of season 2 of Criminal Minds Evolution

Didn't do one last week bc i didn't have time, plus it was just a weird episode. but people have told me they're excited for me to watch this one, so let's go!

i think this is penelope and voit's first time seeing each other face to face???

Voit's little nursery rhyme taunt i am CRYING laughing

Voit taunting the SHIT out of Rossi

"Somewhere in Iowa" has me rolling

Ooh so this is the beginning of the conspiracy theory. The FBI "assassinating" people

Side note: do they never change their badge pictures?? rossi's hair still has color in his

"Get out" Rossi????

Voit sitting at Reid's desk is funny bc Zach Gilford auditioned for Reid way back when

GARVEZ STANDING BESIDE EACH OTHERRRRRR. love collecting Garvez CRUMBSSSS

Luke she is standing slightly in front of you. you are not staring at her side you're staring at her ass. I see you.

"You can't bluff for a minute? You've been bluffing you're not Sicarius for a month" Tara i LOVE you

Someone: *mentions computer stuff* Luke: *looks at Penelope* Me: yeahhhh he knows his gf can do anything

"I'll come with just to make sure you [elias] behave" Luke i am sure that is the ONLY reason

"an online bulletin board where people post their not-so-secretly racist opinions?" Luke i love you

Voit: *touches Pen's things* Luke: Hands off, asshole YES MAN PROTECT YOUR GIRLLLLL

"What's up with you two? Because there's a vibe." AH HA HA HA HA!! I saw a mini spoiler that Voit picked up on them but I imagined he would be calling Luke out on it privately to taunt him I DIDN'T THINK HE'S ASK THEM BOTH TO THEIR FACE WHAT ALL THAT TENSION WAS

this is no longer garvez crumbs this is garvez ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Penelope why don't you have an answer? Why don't you have an answer, Penelope?

Couples who insult an inmates smell together stay together 🥰

"subtitle to Mary Shelley's frankenstein" the secret agenda to CME: make Luke super knowledgeable about classic literature. my "luke was an english major" headcanon is just proved more and more right

"Dr. Lews" look at least he's respectful of her title. i feel like ppl forget she's a doctor

Penelope holding up a handkerchief to her nose 😂

"Neglected to ask me that" luke was right, everyone IS a comedian

"You son of a bitch" I love how they are just having Luke call him every name in the book

Luke recognizing morse code like the little army boy he is 🥰

"what the fuck is north star?" that's an episode name, isn't it? does anyone remember what episode it is going to be?

Emily and Rossi plotting to let Voit try to escape so they can shoot him. Okay????

oooh that sounded SO scripted and forced and awkward 😭

"can you do that without fingerprints?" EMILY WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST ASK TYLER???

"Same deductive work as the BAU just... faster" 😂😂😂

"Wheels up" i was GAGGED when i saw that in the preview

Tyler found brian!!

Voit just taunting them all like a child has me cackling

Omg he knows about Greencia. If he tries to use it to blackmail them/her Luke is going to rip his head off

"Maybe not that crazy" AKA he noticed Garvez so he's not surprised she'd be messing around with ppl involved in her work

"That's enough" Luke is like "A. don't talk about her that way. B. i don't want to hear about this."

"Why is that enough, Luke?" STOP IT RIGHT NOW I'M CACKLING

"Do us all a favor and shut the fuck up" YESSSSSS JJ

"Tynelope is a thing and that drives Luke crazy." oh my GOD. there is so much here. Ig i can't say Greencia anymore it's Tynelope? and also Voit calling Luke out for being jealous in front of everyone????

Luke looking away from Penelope. BUT PENELOPE LOOKING OVER AT LUKE.

"I haven't thought about you at all" I mean i know it's a lie but it's funny

"Useful idiot" emily i love you

okay why tf is brian suddenly pretending not to know what Gold Star is

Luke back to his undercover rootsssss

ohhhhh this is gonna be the bomb we saw in the trailer isn't it (if it is then i am gonna get SO MANY DAMN FIC IDEAS from this ep)

yepppppp bomb!!

Forget Garvez, clearly the real ship this show is pushing is Luke x Bomb

Every time Penelope says "Luke" I get giddy

Penelope (slighly panicky) walking her bf through the bomb situation so he doesn't die

Penelope calling him "Luke" but Luke calling her "Garcia" is SO personal to me

Penelope that is a VERY happy smile (just tell that man you love him)

@lklvz you get gratuitous Luke saying "fuck" content and i hope it makes you smile

HAHA DAVE PUNCHING VOIT IN THE FACE

oh damn it all to hell, damien

"Teresa is in trouble" the FUCK?

tyler knows teresa??? or Penelope is teresa?

Luke following Penelope haha that's not a surprise

"I don't want to be alone tonight" FUCK YOU, REBECCA

NOOOOO TARA NOOOOO DON'T GO BACK TO HER

More emily smoking!!

EMILY CRYING AND ROSSI HOLDING HER 😭😭

guys that was SO GOOD

one of the best eps so far

[gunnrblze]

STOPPPP I FORGOT TO PUT ANON ON LAST TIME FUCK.

Might as well own it

😻

-Keegan; 50/50 love hate relationship with teasing. Nuts immediately if his partner pulls him in by the belt/shirt collar. Probably some less common kinks but gets embarrassed to say them out loud. He's not he big scary man he is during sex, fuck/ride him stupid!!

-Hesh; Sweet man, can't handle teasing very much. Might actually cry if you make a joke about him nutting so quickly, he just can't help it :( loves to be praised and give praise (and a breeding kink even if he won't act on it)

-Kick; bitch is rough, no thoughts or braincells except pounding the fuck outta his partner. Tease him and this tech boy will have you seeing stars... 😻 Will be gentle if he's had a bad day or you have. Gets soooo turned on from crying during sexy time.

-Logan; Will stay completely quiet if you try and tease him over his (very small) limit of teasing. More submissive imo, soft dom Logan is my weakness <3 let's you use him all night no matter what (please reward him he will be so happy)

-Elias; Kink? TF is that? The most he knows how to do is spank, even then he feels it's weird because he would do that to Hesh or Logan sometimes when they were kids ☠️ might have an ED, but that doesn't stop him from breaking the bed

-Merrick; probably scared of sex tbh

-Rorke; most unfair man ever. Extremely rough, and the aftercare is a banana thrown at you for you to eat, if you matter to him. Don't recommend him, but he is quite big down there 😭 (please bite his thighs, LOOK AT HOW BIG THEY ARE—)

Rambles :) 🫶

OWNNN IT LMAO. I 🧡 you for this

My thoughts? Would love to make Hesh cry LMAO. His feels so accurate, he’s definitely a sweetie and I’m obsessed with the fact that so many of us get the fucking breeding kink vibe from him 😭 10/10 will be your daddy, interpret however you’d like

“Rorke; most unfair man ever” is making me cackle cause that’s just him all the time I fear

Would love to ride Keegan stupid too

Elias’ made me giggle (i want that old man idc, gimme!)