#my dude was silly as fuck this stream

[kristiliqua]

doodles from the stream today :)

[pebblezone]

Living life yay huzzah yay

[irxnmaiden]

—it had always been my intention to have jasmine switch up careers, and it’s p much the canon’s fault for that actually! not only is she nowhere near the gym when the pc first arrives in olivine, but when she is located her she quite literally goes “oh u wanna battle? that is so cute lmao kim theres people that are dying” like? she prioritizes saving amphy’s life (as she should) to gym battling, which spurs a whole separate mini quest of sorts, and so-

it just always made sense that she wouldn’t have stuck w gym leading forever, especially considering she is now thirty, her gen ii arc has long since passed chronologically (always adore exploring aspects of that era), and as one of the few gym leaders to just. randomly appear in another gen (outside of tourneys/facilities) for not nary a reason it can b easily inferred that she’s one to travel. combine all that w how deeply she cares for the wellbeing of pkmn, yea... fifteen years was a good run for her, but when it was time...!

[madamechrissy]

Dirty Little Secret

ꕥ Pairings: Toji Fushiguro x Fem Reader

ꕥ Warnings-MDNI-explicit sexual content, dirty talk, Toji calls reader 'doll, ma, slut (Toji and Doll just work lol) Age gap- reader is 21, Toji is 39. - This chapter- Rough sex, slapping, dollification, objectification, choking, biting, angry sex, cunnilingus, overstimulation. It's TOJI so yeah lol

ꕥ Word Count- 7,560

ꕥ Summary- Toji Fushiguro is your dad Shiu's best friend for years. You've known him most your life. You come home for spring break to relax, and who pops up at the fucking doorstep? Toji. He's nasty, annoying, perverted and... Sexy. Hot. Built. And makes you think, maybe your first time shouldn't be with some college boy? But with this buff dude who can tie a cherry stem with his tongue and a scar on his damn lip. You just gotta hope your dad doesn't find out.

AN- Somehow my silly smut is turning deep and maybe gonna be angsty lol!? But mostly smut- Lmk if you wanna be tagged in any updates!

Chapter 4 - Masterlist - Playlist

Chapter 5

The next morning, you wake up to the sound of your dad and Toji’s laughter, mixing with music, and you bury your face into your pillow, moaning into it. The sunlight is streaming far too brightly through your window, and you’re aching in places you’ve never even felt. Your pussy throbs, an odd ache to it, making you shift your thighs just a bit to see if it will ease.

It only gets worse, you’re so sore you realize, as you sit up and stretch your arms, standing up to look in the mirror. Your hair is a fucking mess, you slept in some mascara that’s faded down your eyes to make you look racoon like, but your cheeks? They’re bright red. Your eyes? You’ve never seen them like this, glittering, so pretty almost.

You did look different.

You always wondered, was that true? It’s feeling a weird mix of emotions. It’s like a secret thrill has nestled into your chest, you can still feel Toji’s weight on your body, and the scent of his cologne and even his sweat lingers in the air of your little room. You see the marks from him on your breasts, see the faint red line on your neck. You gingerly touch it, flushing.

The memory was so vivid  your inner walls clench in desire, and a delicious ache echoes through your body, pulsing through your veins like fire. You bite your lower lip, peeking down your body, and you’re drenched against your panties, and you know that’s all you because Toji had not cum in you.

Yet.

You want him to!?

“The fuck is wrong with me…” You mutter, then sigh, heading out in just your crop and panties to go to the bathroom, needing a shower so bad. You feel so wrong but so good and it’s really confusing.

You snatch up a towel out of the towel closet next to the bathroom then bump right against a hard body. His hands grip your waist, so tight, and you peek up at him nervously, tilting your head back, to meet that handsome face, see his tongue licking that scar, licking his full lower lip, before his eyes get dark.

You both just breathe, you clutching the towel to your chest, unable to move, unable to function, all you want to do is have him sling you against that wall and enter your throbbing little pussy. You want him so bad it takes everything not to snatch him up for a kiss, not to grab that cock that’s currently pressed against your tummy, not to kiss that scar on his face and drink his moans.

But you just stand there, a pathetic little breathy cry escaping your throat, and your eyes lock then, so much tension in the little hallway you could cut it with a knife. His breaths mingle with yours, and you watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he gulps, one of his hand coming to cup your face, so gently, with his big, rough hand, and you nuzzle it before you think better.

Shit.

“Are you feeling okay, doll?” He murmurs, surprising you and making you blink a bit, before nodding shyly.

“I’m just… sore.” You look away, and he laughs a bit, dark but soft, tilting your chin up then.

“Good sore?” You nod, and he exhales as if he had been holding his breath, bending low and kissing your forehead then. It feels too sweet, too good, his care, his lips on you… what was this? It makes you panic almost, your heart racing.

“Good sore.” You look back at him again, and ease back a bit, to get some semblance of composure, to catch a breath. The feeling of him is overwhelming your every sense you have.

“You’re beautiful as fuck even when you just wake up.” His words are husky, and you shake your head, making him glare.

“Toji I look like a racoon. I’m gonna take a shower.” The thought of you in the shower seems to torture him, he moans a bit, snatching you against him, and his lips are right against yours now. “Toji… we can’t right here-”

The door to your dad’s room opens and shuts, and you jump back and hurriedly run to the bathroom, leaning back and resting your head on the wall, feeling your eyes prick with tears at how badly you want him. You hurriedly rid yourself of your panties and tank, running the shower then, distantly hearing Toji and Shiu talking, laughing so casually.

You like him, don’t you? You really like him.

And how would that ever work, seventeen year age gap aside, how would it work with your dad, with Toji? With a whole kid, Megumi, who he wasn’t even around for much of his life. How would any of it work, it was stupid, stupid… and surely he just wanted to fuck you. Because what, it’s naughty, because it’s some kind of challenge or fun to him?

But the way he just looked at you…

Stupid. You’re stupid.

Later on after you’re all washed up you open the door, and pad over to your room, just to see him coming up the stairs, his eyes trailing down your body, covered only in a small little white towel. Your thigh press together while your hand is on the door knob, and Toji inches closer, until he’s right behind you, his nose and lips rubbing up the side of your damn neck.

“T-Toji… don’t.” You manage, and he exhales, breath tickling you, and your cunt is already dripping just from that.

“Ya regret it?” He asks huskily, and you turn to look up at him, shaking your head, gently touching the arm around your waist.

“Not at all. Not one bit. I’m just scared.” He exhales, and you feel his tense body ease some. Had he been worried?

“Hey Toji!” Your dad’s voice came then, and he kisses your lips, furiously, pressing hard for an intense moment, making you melt, before leaving you to go inside your room. Your breath is erratic, chest so tight it hurts, you can’t explain just what it is that you feel.

You can feel it like a brand on your skin.

***

“That sounds like a date, Dad.” You say later on, as you and Shiu have lunch together, Toji is already washing his dishes.

“Yeah but I’m not just gonna go on a date the one week you’re home.”

“Dad it’s fine. I come home once a month already.”

“Like for two days…”

“I liked seeing you happy. Don’t worry.”

“You’re too good a kid.” He kisses your head, and you catch Toji’s gaze then, that stupidly sexy smirk, making you shiver.

“Nah, not really.”

“You’re the best daughter a dad could ask for.”

Now you feel… like shit.

Who are you and what are you doing!?

“You sure you don’t wanna go though? She wouldn’t mind at all. She asked me to invite you two.”

“I mean…”

“Why don’t ya go out with her today and then we come for dinner? I’ll bring kiddo on the bike she’ll love it.” You glare at him then, but your dad seems happy.

“That would be perfect, give us some time and time for all of us. But… What if she kills you Toji?”

“You’ll help her hide my body.” They both laugh, shoving each other and joking around, and soon your dad is off to go meet with Mei, and you all are going to join them later for dinner.

“You’re such a schemer.” You mutter, and he wipes his hand on the dish towel, walking up to you then, slowly, you watch as the thin white shirt he wears showcases all his muscles, watch that line in his grey shorts.

“C’mere, Doll.” You eagerly do what he asks, and when he’s picked you up like you’re nothing, your lips slam in a kiss, furious and hungry, his teeth biting at your lips, tongue messy.

“Toji… please.” You whine out, and he groans then, looking at you and setting you down to stand.

“Want me to fuck this little pussy, doll?” You nod, no shame anymore, and then he’s shoving off everything on the dining room table, sitting you on it, you eagerly grind against the thigh that’s between your legs, crying out. “So fuckin desperate?”

“Fuck you, Old man.” He smacks you then, making you grin, and you reach up for his shirt, yanking his big body down to yours.

“Say it, fuckin brat. You’re soaked from nothing.” You just whimper, crying out when he pulls you by your hips, sliding down your shorts, the cool air of the kitchen against your glistening pussy.

“Am not.” He laughs then, grinning, so handsome and even charming… and you brush his inky black hair back, exhaling.

“I’ll have to talk to her and find out, you’re too full of it. She loves me.” He kisses down your thighs, grabbing the fat of your ass then, and you moan, this time even louder, as his long finger slides in you. “Oh fuck��� you’re that wet?”

“Do something about it.” He raises a brow, smirking, and you giggle.

“You tellin me what to do, fuckin brat?”

“Mmhmm. Toji, fuck!” He’s lapping at you with that hot tongue, circling your clit before sucking it in his mouth. “Ohmygod- ngh!”

He’s got you so close in seconds it’s stupid, as his moan vibrates your clit, as his fingers slide in your slick entrance, and you’re pulling his face against you, brazenly, grinding your hips up and down. You start gushing wetness, as your head slams back against the hard table, and he’s licking you through your orgasm, as his fingers scissor into you.

“Please fuck me, please. Daddy.” At that he snaps, popping up, his face covered in your arousal, and he’s picking you up in his arms again. “No, just fuck me here. Now, please, can’t wait.”

He exhales, setting you down, turning you, and bending you over, making you shiver, as his big hand grabs your wrists and pulls them behind you. “Demanding lil slut for me, huh?”

“Shut up and fuck me. Ah!” He’s slid all the way in you then, thrusting so hard and deep it’s hard to take, your tiny body struggling to fit him inside.

“Shut that mouth up, huh? Fuckin brat.” You can’t manage a word, you’re just throbbing around the invasion, struggling to breathe, as he groans, yanking you by those trapped wrists, your body arching. “Got something to say, doll?”

Your answer is a choked out whine, and he lets you adjust to his size, just staying there for a moment, until he pulls nearly fully out, and you hear the squashing of your soaking wet cunt as she sucks him back in. He’s so deep you can’t even stand it, you just scream out, as he strokes again, again, again.

“Nothing to say, doll?” He taunts you, fucking into you now, hard and deep in your tight entrance, slamming your cervix now, and you’re blinded, while he massages that spot with the thick tip of his cock, over and over.

“M-m-more!” Is all you manage to get out, and he groans then, releasing your wrists and pulling you up by your ass, smacking it.

“Want Daddy to wreck this little pussy?” You nod, whining, and then he’s smacking your ass again. “Say it, doll.”

“F-fuck my pussy, wreck it. Please.”

“Please…”

“Daddy!”

Toji groans, guttural and deep, then he’s slamming into you, and you cling to the table desperately, as each thrust has your entire body shaking with the force, as his big hands are bruising your hip bones. He’s fucking you so hard you can’t think, slamming against you, the sounds of his strong thighs smacking against your plush ones echoing in the kitchen.

“F-fuck… pussy made f’me, ain’t it? Made for my cock.” You just whine nonsensically, as he is rhythmically pounding into you, it hurts but it’s such a good, delicious pain, so intense you don’t know how you’re even taking it.

“M-made for y-you… Daddy.” He’s grunting now, and a hand wraps in your hair, pulling it, making your back arch as he leans lower, fucking up into you now.

“Ya feel so fucking good, doll. Cum on Daddy’s cock. Now.” You do as he orders, how can you not, when his thick cock is wrecking your tight little cunt, when your walls are already tightening against him. “Fuck yeah, doll, like that.”

You’re screaming so loud god help you if anyone were around, as he’s shoving his cock in so deep, against your bruised cervix, making you cum so hard you see stars, your pussy clamping down, your body jolting and spasming. You struggle to hang on to any reality, imagining he’d slow down. But no.

He’s not stopping though, oh no, he’s just started it seems, as he’s fucking you through it, making you cum again. “Feel so fucking tight after… fuck, you’re such a good girl f’me.”

“Good for you… good for… cumming mmnh!” Your thighs are shaking as he pushes in so hard, at this angle so deep it was insane, and he leans forward, finding your clit then. “No, t’much…”

“Nah, be a good girl for me. Are you my good little girl?” You weakly nod, letting him roll his hips, in your cervix it feels like, fucking you up. You can’t even think or function as he rolls his fingers on your clit, and you’re soaking his hand, his cock, pulsing around him. 

“Fucking-perfect-s’fucking…” You hear his breath, rushing out in pants, and he’s groaning, one arm wrapping around you now, dragging you down his length.

“Your good girl.”

“Mine?” You nod, mindlessly, as he keeps fucking you, fucking any sense, fuck you’d say anything as he makes you cum over and over, until you’re a whimpering mess, your thighs shaking, your knees threatening to give out.

“Please, no more, please, Daddy, I can’t-” He’s relentless, smacking your ass again, making you scream. “Aa-”

“You tappin' out doll? Not yet.” You just whine, and then he’s picking you up, turning you to him, your cunt is throbbing and pulsing, as he smirks down at you. “A whole fuckin mess.”

“F-fuck… off…”

“A gorgeous fuckin mess.” His eyes glitter as he talks, and you whimper, struggling to raise a hand to brush his hair, as he picks you up and carries you to the couch, laying you down. “Can’t even stand, huh?”

You just shake your head, there’s no sense lying. He has your thighs spread now, pushing them up, as you sink into the soft cushions of the couch, and he slides back into your aching cunt. You hiss as you’re stretched out again, skin burning, as your body forms to his length.

“Mm… s’good… s’much though I-ah!” He’s so deep in you, fucking you so hard, your legs feel like jelly even on your back, and he’s not letting up, not even a little bit, his hand is a vice grip on your hair, the other holding your leg up, and your orgasms are blending into one never ending wave of pleasure and pain.

“Say it, doll, say you’re a greedy slut. Just f’me.” You exhale, your vision blurring, everything around you fading. “I said, say it.”

He’s choking you now, big hand around your throat, and your hands cling to his hand, as you feel him bringing you wave after wave of pleasure and pain, as you lose your breath. He’s looking down at you, his dark eyes dilated, his hair falling over his forehead, drenched in sweat now, sweat that’s dripping onto your body.

“Slut… for… you. Daddy.” You breathe out the words, and his head falls back, raising your leg even higher and pushing in, you feel him thickening impossibly, feel his hand squeezing so hard.

“Gonna ruin this cunt for anyone else. It’s mine, doll. Yeah?” You just nod, weakly, feeling your ears ring as he chokes all the oxygen out of your body, and you feel like you’re high. “That’s my good girl, Daddy’s slut.”

He’s stroking in a bit slower, dragging his cock out, before slamming it back in, you screaming out every time he hits that spot, cumming again with the lack of oxygen, nearly fainting from it, and then finally, he’s letting go of your throat. You gasp for air as he leans low, caressing your face, soaked with tears.

“Ya look so fuckin pretty crying, doll.” His voice is dark, as he’s wrecking anything you’ve ever known, as his cock splits you apart. You just weakly cry, wrapping your arms around his neck then.

“Kiss me… please, Daddy.” You manage to whisper, voice hoarse, and he pauses then, moaning, kissing you deeply, slowing the previously vicious movements of his cock to gently rock into you now.

“Beautiful.” He murmurs, and you feel yourself crying more, he drinks all your sounds, now pressing your leg so far up it hurts, rolling up so his tip was grinding on your cervix, his pelvis against your clit now. “Cum again, doll. Please.”

His tone has shifted, and you nod, eagerly, pulling him down for another kiss, and his mouth makes love to yours as his cock shoves in, and you convulse around him, making him curse. He grips you tight, biting on your lower lip harshly, his hot breath against you, hands so tight you can’t think.

“Wanna cum in this sweet pussy, doll. So fuckin bad. You want me… oh fuck… ah-to pull out?” You tense, and then your eyes look up to his, as well fucked and blown out as yours. You grip him then.

“Cum in me… please. Please.” You whisper, and he loses it then, going feral over you, his eyes insane, his teeth bared.

“Cum in your little pussy, doll? Ya want all Daddy’s cum?” You nod, eagerly, whimpering as he picks up his pace again.

“Please… cum in me, Daddy.” At that he loses his rhythm, clinging to you, thrusts erratic, until he stills inside you, and you feel his cock pulse, feel his hot cum flood your insides. You wonder at the sensation, as heat pours in, and you’re so full. “Oh my god! Oh my…”

“Fuck… so fucking-ah-baby…” He nearly whines that last word out, as he clings to you tightly, pushing his cum even deeper, as your eyes lock onto each other.

You’re cumming around it, and he’s gripping you so tight, slamming his lips on yours again. Fuck, you feel so stretched, so used, and all you can do is hold onto him, feeling his warmth spread inside you, feeling his hot breaths against your mouth, his chest heaving with exertion.

“So fuckin’ good, doll. So fuckin’ perfect.” He’s whispering into your ear, kissing you again, and you feel emotion in your throat, overwhelmed. “Ah fuck… too much for you?”

“No. No. So good, Toji.” You swipe at your tears, but he swats your hands away then, using his own hands to wipe gently.

“Never felt something that good.” He murmurs, and you’re flushed then, so nervous, burying your head.

“You don’t have to say that, I know… you used to be in love. And there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Doll, I don’t say shit I don’t mean.” Your eyes go back up to his, and the intensity overwhelms your already weak mind.

“I’m scared.” You whisper again. He frowns.

“Of what, getting caught?”

“Having feelings.” You curse inwardly then, looking away, but he holds your face still, lowering his face down, to where your foreheads are touching.

“Wanna tell me what feelings?” He asks, and for once you hear it, the vulnerability in his request. Your hands trail down his thick, muscular arms, as you take a shaky breath.

“Feelings for you.” He groans then, kissing you deeply, and you fall into it, before you pull back just a bit, shaking your head. “They’re stupid.”

“Nah, doll. I-” The doorbell rings then, and your eyebrows shoot up, as reality crashes over you, where you are, who you’re with. You freak out, but he shushes you, holding your shoulders. “Calm down, not your dad, he wouldn’t ring a bell. I’ll go get it… go clean up.”

You nod then, and he opens his mouth, as you wonder what he was going to say, then he just sighs, easing out of you, and his cum pours from your little hole, all swollen and red from how much he’d beat it up. He groans then, staring at it hungrily, leaning between your thighs again.

The bell rings.

“I’ll fuckin kill em.” You giggle, at the ridiculousness, and then let him help you up into a sitting position. He tosses you your shorts, and you run up the stairs, adrenaline pouring through you, as Toji’s cum leaks from your little pussy. What the actual fuck were you doing!?

“Just a package.” You hear, as he’s opening the door to your room then, eyeing you hungrily.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You just nod, brushing your hair in your mirror, trying to put yourself together. “Wanna tell me what you were trying to say?”

“No. I don’t.” You put the brush down, and then he’s on you, behind you, slinging your leg up, in that position he’d shown you. Your breath catches, as you feel his cum and your arousal trickle out.

“I’ll fuck the intel out of ya, doll.” He’s got your shorts pulled to the side, shoving two thick digits in your entrance, you grip the dresser, looking at him behind you, brows drawn low as one of his hands comes around to grip you under your chin.

“Why do you wanna know? It’s stupid… mmm…” Your head falls back when you feel yourself pouring out all over his fingers, and he’s groaning, yanking up your top and revealing your breasts, staring at them in the mirror hungrily.

“Toji-again!?” You tense when you feel his hard length against you now, and he just smirks at you in the mirror.

“Again, doll. And again. Till all you think of is me.” His words hit you hard, and you gulp at it, not able to even think when his tip rubs against your sensitive clit, up and down between your folds.

“The things you say… fuck you for that.” You whisper, tears starting to hit your field of vision, as his dark green eyes study you, serious then.

“Fuck me, huh?” You nod, hating what he does, and how much you want it. You pull away a bit, putting your leg down, and he has you spun then, bending low with his hands on either side of your dresser. You tremble under his gaze. “I say what I wanna say, doll. Got a problem?”

“Yeah I sure do. You’re just confusing the hell out of me. If you’re gonna fuck me, do it, I clearly like it. But don’t say shit like that. Look at me like that.”

“Look at you like what, brat?” He cups your face then, and you take a shaky breath, as the energy in the room is too much to bear.

“Like… I don’t know, like that!”

“Like you’re fuckin gorgeous? Like I want ya so bad I can’t fuckin stand it?” You hate it, you hate how he’s cupping your face, how his eyes are boring into yours. You bite your lip so hard it’ll bleed.

“Yeah, like that. I hate it.” He scowls, yanking you by your hair and tilting your head back, forcing you to look at him.

“How ya want me to look at ya then?”

“Like you wanna fuck me, not… whatver that look is.”

He’s just breathing heavy then, and so are you, as your heart races and his cum is dripping out of you. “And what is this look you hate so much?”

“It’s as if you… really like me? I don’t know.”

“Ya think I don’t!?”

“You shouldn’t. You said just sex-”

“Nah, doll. You did.” You blink then, scowling up at him, as his lips are just a breath from yours. “You said last night ‘is it just sex’.”

“You said yes!”

“Because I- Y’know, fuck this. I’m over talkin’ now.” He smashes his firm lips against yours in a furious kiss, tongue sliding inside your mouth, taking it over entirely, as his hands are firm on your hips, a thigh sliding between yours. You moan, greedy hands grabbing at his shirt, until you’re yanking it off. He smirks. “Need me naked, huh? Slutty fuckin brat.”

“Shut up, old man.” You start pushing him then, and he clearly lets you (because how could you push Toji) until he’s sitting at the edge of your bed, and you’re yanking your top off over your head, looking down to see his hungry gaze, his big hands gripping bare breasts.

“So eager for me, huh doll?” He’s muttering the words, because he’s got your breasts in his face, sucking and lavishing the peaks, moaning. “These perfect tits, oh my… fuck.”

You straddle him then, thighs on either side, and he’s grabbing your ass while he’s sucking on your tits, rubbing his stubble between your breasts, and you’re whining out, grinding on his hard cock. He yanks his shorts down again, looking up at you with parted lips and dark eyes.

“You gonna fuck me, doll?” He teases you, making you glare, pushing him down on his back.

“Why don’t you shut up and let me fuck you, huh?” At that he scowls, flipping you under him, pinning your wrists. You scowl back now.

“Ya got a nasty mouth for such a pretty girl. Let me shut it up.” He’s shoving two fingers in your mouth deep, so deep you nearly choke, your nails digging into his wrist now as he doesn’t let you go.

“Mnh!” You try to yell out around his fingers but he’s already shoved his cock in you so deep you’re blinded, deep in your cunt, and she sucks him right in.

“You’re even prettier like this, with that mouth shut.” You bite his fingers then, smirking with glee when he yanks them back, laughing when he’s furious. “You’re such a fuckin psycho brat.”

“You like it, don’t you?” He smirks then, lifting your leg and sliding deeper, fucking into your cervix now. “Ah-fuck!”

“Yeah, I like it.” He murmurs, kissing you again, messy and rough, his now bitten fingers back in your hair. You’re screaming as he’s railing you, the bed creaking with his weight, grunting over you. “I do like you, by the way, slutty little girl.”

“Why-why… say that? Fuck you.” You’re whining out, and he’s got a death grip on your thighs, pressing them up high and hitting so deep you can’t function, so much pressure.

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck you!”

“I am fucking you, lil slut.” You laugh at that, breathless, but then he fucks the laugh right out of you, fucks your thoughts out of you. “That’s what I thought.”

“Let me fuck you-mnh-on top. Lemme do it. Please.” He grins down at you, as he’s slamming into your cunt so rough you ache, strokes sloppy inside you.

“Now you’re speaking right t’me.” He flips you so quick you lose your breath, and you rest your hands on his chest, crying out when he’s fucking into you now.

“Lemme… lemme do it! Fucking… stop moving, Toji, stop moving!” He grips your hips tight, shoving you on his cock, grinding inside you until you’re shattered, cumming all over him, arousal gushing and drooling out your cunt onto his thighs, his balls, his cock.

“F-fuck, you feel so good on me doll.” He’s moaning, and you see it, that moment where he relinquishes control, the moment you start rocking your hips, crying out and throwing your head back at how good it feels.

“T-Toji! Ngh!” Tears hit your eyes as his thick tip is massaging your cervix, and you tentatively slide up then down, as he watches his cock disappear, and his jaw tenses, his face in awe of you.

“Holy-Motherfucking-shit!” He’s gripping you so tight you can’t move, and you whine out, wiggling. “How are you so good at that!?”

“Shut up and lemme fuck you, just lay there.” He gulps, laying his head back, and you are dominating Toji Fushiguro, he’s nearly whimpering as you press your thighs, squeezing your cunt tight around him. “Good boy.”

You’re snickering, and then you realize you made a mistake, when he yanks you against his chest, glaring. You gasp. “Hang on, pretty little slut.” You manage to cling to him, excitement and fright in equal measures, and he’s lifted your hips up, pinning you against him. “Gonna fuck that attitude out of ya. Use ya like my little toy.”

“T-Toji I was just-ah, kidding!” He slams into you, so hard you nearly buck off his big hard body, and then he grabs your cheeks with his hand, squishing them.

“Aw, poor baby, got something to say?” You open your mouth and he’s slamming up into you again, your entire body feeling his thick cock, like he’s in your damn throat, it makes you choke up.

“I… I… please…”

“Toys don’t talk.” You wiggle a bit and he smacks your ass, making it sting, you cry out at it. “Toys don’t move. You’re gonna take all this cum like a good toy. Only good to fuck, to cum inside, that’s it. Got it?”

You down at him, as your pussy is gushing. “I thought I can’t talk, so how can I answer you dick!?”

He’s got you flipped again, putting you in a wicked mating press, folding you up so much it’s uncomfortable, and you watch that vein in his throat pulse as he hiffs over you. He’s fucking furious. And you’re thrilled at the reactions you elicit, grinning, until he’s shoved back in you, bottoming out so hard it hurts, you see stars, then your mouth is wide open in an O shape, tongue lolling.

“Watch me fuck ya, watch me fuck that cunt like I own it.” He groans out the words, as he’s slamming into you, so hard you’re crying out, his hands pressing your thighs down, making your eyes roll back in your head. “Got anything-ha- smart to fuckin say, toy?”

You can’t manage words, they get stuck in your throat, and you’re just shaking, crying out, because oh god it’s too much, it’s so much, his cock bullying inside your walls and wrecking you. All while he’s looking down at you, his chiseled jaw clenched tight, those veins in his neck bulging, every single muscle taut as he just holds you down.

“Cum all over my cock, be a good toy f’me.” You should hate that, yeah? But no. you’re cumming again, so hard this time, your orgasm spilling over and mixing with his cum that’s coating your insides.

“Mnh… ah-ngh…” You’re just whimpering out like it’s nothing, you can’t even function anymore, you’re cumming so hard still you’re just twitching under him, jerking under him.

“Ya like being used by me, don’t ya doll?” You manage a nod, with your sore neck, and he moans, bending down and cupping your face while he slowly rolls inside you, stretching your walls out, feeling so fucking good you can’t take it.

“D-d…D-” You don’t know if you can speak, so your watery eyes hit him, and he grins then with sharp white teeth, kissing you, softly, as if he wasn’t wrecking you with his thick cock, as if he wasn’t telling you you’re a toy. No, that kiss?

Fuck.

“You can say it, doll. I’ll allow one word.” He pushes in and rolls his hips, massaging that damn spot in there, and you scream out.

“Daddy!” He moans then, right against your mouth.

“Want Daddy to use his toy? Cum inside it?” You just nod, eagerly, cheeks red as he pounds inside your cunt, the sounds of the slapping of skin and how wet you are obscene.

He pins you down with an arm around your thighs, pressing even harder, and he’s thickening inside you now, and you’re helpless, just being used by him, being stretched by his thick length. You start to lose consciousness nearly, the feeling so good you can’t handle it anymore, it’s like every stroke you’re losing any sense, until there’s nothing left but him.

“Good. Fucking. Toy. S’good f’me. Take it, take all of me, hm?” He’s whispering it, that gruff deep fucking voice, and you nod, feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm, as his own cock starts to spurt, so much you feel it pulsing.

“Mmph!” You’re grunting with each thrust now, as he’s filling you up, his big cock shooting his hot cum, endless streams of it, deep in your pussy, filling you so hot and full. “Mnh… T-Toji…”

“Fuckin perfect. Fuck.” He’s out of breath now, as he eases your aching thighs down, rubbing them gently, massaging the sore muscles. You feel tears in your eyes, the emotion and overwhelming exhaustion making your throat dry. He’s leaning up, kissing your cheeks, the tears hot and sticky running down them. “Hey doll… look at me.”

Your eyes meet his, and you take a shaky breath, when he’s easing out of your sore cunt, throbbing from him still, drooling cum out of the little hole he’d been stretching out. You just look at him, wordless, struggling to catch a breath, but it keeps coming out in tears, mumbling incoherently while he strokes your hair, pulling you against his chest, his arms wrapping around you tight.

“Hey, Doll, you okay? Too much?” You shake your head, but you can’t form a word, he’s fucked your brain so stupid. “Talk to me, baby.”

“Just… a lot. A lot.” You whisper, and he’s running a hand down your spine, up and down in little strokes.

“Did I hurt ya or anything?”

“No. No. I loved it.” You sniffle and look up to see his concerned expression, studying your face intently.

“You’re crying though.” His voice almost sounds like he is pained. You take a shaky breath, snuggling up to his big body then.

“Overwhelmed. Brain not working.” He laughs a bit, and you enjoy that rare sound so much it’s scary to admit it.

“I know, baby, I know. S’okay. I got you.” You lean up and kiss him again, your hair draping softly over his broad chest, palm right over where his heart thumps wildly in his chest. He moans softly, cupping your face gently with those strong hands, exhaling as you brush your lips on his. “Gonna spit out your secret, now hmm?”

“You can’t fuck intel out of me, psycho.” He snorts at that, looking at you, as you try to match your breaths to his, slowing them down. “Why do you wanna know so badly anyway?”

“I’d like to know how you feel.” He sounds nearly choked as he speaks, and your eyes widen, lips parted then.

Fuck you’re gorgeous, every bit of your body, your face is so pretty Toji can’t imagine not looking at it ever again. And he’s terrified that’s what is going to happen, because why would you of all people be with him? Young and beautiful, ambitious, got your shit straight. Pussy so perfect he wanted to live with his cock buried deep inside of it, wanted to lick every inch of you every day of his life.

What started off as impulse was getting to be too much, because when he came inside you, your tight little cunt gripping him as he watched those pretty eyes roll back in your head? He was wrecked, further than he already was the first time he just kissed you. Kiss those reddened lips, bruised by him now, he runs a thumb down your full lower lip, cock twitching in response.

Toji had great stamina but this was ridiculous, he wasn’t a twenty something anymore, but fuck if he couldn’t stop getting hard just looking at you. Fuck, when you’d opened the door in those hello kitty pajamas, he’d been so hard he’s shocked you didn’t notice. Watching those lush tits bounce, looking at those perky nipples through your thin little top.

He’d wanted you then.

He’d wanted you for a long time, and hated himself for it, hated how many times he’d rubbed himself raw to your pictures, in your sexy little outfits with your friends, when you outshine them all. All shy and cute like you weren’t built to be fucked by him, like you didn’t have some goddess level body. Fuck he loved every inch, too.

He’d never had it like this, and he knows he’s an idiot. Coming here and knowing damn well you’d be here. Then when he’d tasted your sweet pussy, drank all your honeyed arousal, he could not get that taste out of his mind. He couldn’t get those blown out eyes out of his brain. He doesn’t even know how he’ll be able to be with anyone again.

Ruined him in four days.

You’re the worst.

“Toji I just… I am worried I really feel stuff. Is it a virgin thing? Will I like, get over this? It’s so stupid.” You look down, your long lashes casting shadows on delicate cheeks, all reddened from your exertions, trails of glistening tears glittering from the sunlight streaming in the room.

Since when does Toji Fushiguro notice shit like that!?

“Why is it stupid, because it’s me?” He asks, gruffly, and he watches your eyes shoot up to his, your mouth opening in a small O.

“What, no. I mean stupid because it’s just sex. Is this some clingy virgin shit I don’t know about?” He laughs, mirthlessly, and your brows draw together.

“Is this your way of saying you like me, doll?” You nod a bit, and his heart hurts, like someone is squeezing the fuck out of it, right where your little hand sat.

“I know this is some game-”

“You don’t know shit.” You blink a bit, pouting then, at his snappy tone, and he hates himself then. Fuck he’s stupid. It’s not like he’d be worth your time, aside from fucking you senseless, he knows he’s good at that. “Think I don’t like you?”

“I don’t know. Do you?”

“Why would I do this if I didn’t?”

“Because you think I’m hot?” He shakes his head.

“You’re beautiful, but no. It’s… more than…”

He gulps, he doesn’t know what to say. You lean in, cupping his face with your hands, as your breasts rest against his chest. His hands slide down your little waist, to the jut of your hips, moaning as he explores your curves. You straddle him once more, and fuck if he doesn’t wanna let you have the power.

Only you.

“More than what, Toji? Is this something more?” He manages a nod, unable to say shit, because he’s an idiot, an idiot for you. And you would just get burned. “It can’t be more though, can it?”

“It’s a shit idea. But I’m selfish as fuck.” You cry out softly, then, as he hardens against you. But he sees her, so reddened, swollen, puffy, he’d gone too rough with you, even if you liked it. “Lemme take care of ya.”

“Hmm?” Your eyes flutter shut, like you’re exhausted, as he helps you up then, sitting you on his lap for a moment. “What, is Daddy taking care of me?”

He’s hurting at that, at how fucking good the word Daddy sounds out of your pretty little mouth, as you look at him with cock drunk eyes. “Let’s shower, doll, I’ll wash your hair.”

“I had a shower this morning.”

“Another one. I’ll wash it better than you did.” You giggle, nodding, and letting him pick you up in his arms, you’re so tiny in them, resting your head on his chest.

“This is nice.” He hums to himself at that, starting to run the hot water, as you lean against the sink. He kisses down your neck, seeing the little marks he had left. You all would have to cover them he realizes, then things hit him a bit, just what he’s doing here with you. With his friend’s kid.

Reckless.

Stupid.

Dangerous.

But fuck, when you look at him like that? Toji would do anything to have one more second of it.

He craves being with you so bad it’s taking over everything. He looks over at you, holding his hands out, and you shyly take them, so sweet and pretty one moment, then the other you’re telling him to shut up and fuck you. Damnit he…

He’s stupid over you, not just your body either. All of you.

Shit.

Toji pulls you under the hot spray of the shower, just holding you against him, and it feels so fucking good. So good in his arms, as he treats you so carefully, after having fucked you so hard, the duality of him drove you insane. Now he’s carefully washing your hair with fragrant shampoo, the scent filling the little bathroom, and fuck does it feel good, his strong fingers massaging your scalp.

He rinses your hair and then runs conditioner in your hair too, turning you then and pressing you against the wall. You find yourself gazing up at him, and terrified for when and how this ends, but fuck if you’re not blissful right now. As he’s kissing you, down your neck, lips pressing on delicate flesh, his big hands rubbing your breasts, thumbs pressing over the peaks.

“Toji…” He hums, his hands roaming lower, down your waist, down your hips, grabbing your ass and making you cry out softly. “You’re being… sweet?”

He frowns a bit as he looks down at you, broad body taking most of the pounding hot water, water dripping down his handsome face, down his long dark lashes. “I’m not gonna fuck you like that and not take care of you after.”

You feel your face heat up, your body reacting to his words, to his touch, as he’s lifting you up, pressing you against the warmed tiles. Your hands grip his slippery shoulders, your manicured nails digging in just slightly, making him sigh in pleasure as he studies you.

“This is stupid. And dangerous. And it’ll hurt me.” He blinks then, shaking his head and kissing you again.

“I won’t let it hurt you. My little doll.” You melt, fuck you’re melting for him!? The man who just smacked you, choked you out, came in you twice. The one who fucked you so hard you hurt, in your childhood bed, and you want more, even more. “You won’t fuck anyone else ever, ya know that right?”

“That’s insane talk. You know that right?” You’re whimpering though as he’s easing you down, as he starts kissing down your body slowly.

“What, not ruined enough yet, doll? Gotta do more?” You just nod, and you’re a whole liar, as he smirks, on his knees right in front of you, throwing one of your thighs over his shoulder and kissing your clit sloppy. “Demanding little slut. Needy little cunt, too, huh?”

“F-fuck…”

“Tell her you only want me.” He whispers into your cunt, and you giggle a bit, before he’s devouring you, his tongue swirling your little clitoris, and it’s so sensitive you fall apart quickly. “So fuckin easy, can’t even wait? Cummin all over m’face.”

“You’re t’good… at it… Daddy!” He’s moaning at that then, shaking his head back and forth as he runs his tongue along your clit, side to side, up and down, and drinking everything that pours out of you.

“Good girl, cum all Daddy’s face.” He’s urging you, pushing you beyond your limits, and you’re just falling apart, your heart thrumming as the hot water pounds your overheated skin.

He’s lavishing every inch of your cunt, licking every part of your little cunt, sliding in your hole to drink more, and you can barely stand, clinging to him tightly. His lips trail down your thighs now, kissing and nipping every bit of you he could find, until he’s back up there, his face against yours.

“I don’t want it to end.” You murmur, delirious, drunk off him. He exhales, holding you again in his arms.

“Mine. Say it.”

“It’s stupid.” You’re nearly asleep in the shower, so spent, so weak, that he has to hold you up, kissing you sloppy, messy, the water pouring down his face.

“Say it, doll. Need to hear it.” You pause, as he’s unexpectedly vulnerable all over again, and you let him take over.

“What’s yours? My pussy?” You tease him then, but he shakes his head, kissing you again, kissing every thought you had left.

“All of you.”

“My body?” Your whisper is faint against the pounding of the water on your bodies, but he shakes his head, gripping you.

“All of you.” Your head is fuzzy, your mind blank, it’s all you can do to just let him hold you, as you weakly nod, and he’s kissing you again, taking everything that you were. You couldn’t think about anything, school, your dad, your life, there was nothing but how good it feels.

You’re so fucked.

Chapter 6

@queendessi24 @iheartsuya @farawayfromallthecrazylies

[kneelingshadowsalome]

I have an odd request… perhaps a captain price fic where the reader is much younger and edgy- likeee covered in tats and stuff,, and price isn’t rly used to that but finds it hot as hell… idk maybe they work together ?? Smut ensues …

IDK I have tatts and wonder what he’d think of that 👹👹

Just an idea 💡❤️😫

Fire it Up (John Price x F!Reader)

Word count: 7.8 k

Tags/warnings: Smut 🔞 mutual pining, flirting, swearing, older man/younger woman dynamic, forbidden love, smoking & drinking, voice kink, a tiny brat taming kink squeezed itself in here too. Reader has tattoos and works as a coder at the base. Rough ~10yrs age gap described, reader is of age I hope to god it goes without saying (Price is canonically 37) Also: no use of 'daddy' in this fic

A/N: I'm so glad for this request anon and I hope you like what I made! Also people please be gentle, this is my first Price fic 🥹 God I wish I could attach the fat scent of cigar here to give you the full experience. 

You don't know what caught your attention first.

The cigar, perhaps. Or the beard? Might be his hips, the ass that tells you this man can fuck a woman for hours.

Or maybe it's the fact that he's too old for you.

No, not too old…

Just older than you. A decade, perhaps, if you were being gentle with him and lenient with yourself.

He certainly isn't old enough to be your father, but he wasn't the type of man your eyes usually drifted on either.

He looks like someone who's supposed to be fishing in Alaska, sucking that fat cigar while taking in the view of mountains while trying to catch wild fish in some wide, free stream. 

He's supposed to come home to a remote cabin: to his little wife who pours him a scotch after he has shown her what he caught today. Make sweet love to her while stars shoot and speckle the indigo night.

He looks like someone who makes love to women.

You, on the other hand, want to ride with him to the sunset on the back of a Harley, clutch his jacket as he drives you to some bizarre highway motel. You want to watch him drink that scotch from your navel. 

You'd do all kinds of crazy shit with him, keep his head between your legs with both hands, grind all over that mustache, and see how wet it gets. You want him to pound you with those narrow hips, take you from behind while you look back with parted, swollen lips and relish the sight of what must be a grown man's hardened body, covered with hair and scars and–

"The bug's still there."

You return to reality, look at the code on your screen, and then at your colleague, a 20-something bloke who looks at you with the lethargic stare that only belongs to techies. You've just been caught daydreaming your eyes off in the middle of a lazy afternoon. Coffee doesn't do shit after 2 PM…

"Yeah I know. I'm working on it," you say. But when the dude leaves, you decide it's time for a creative break. You tell yourself it's only because the code jumps on the screen, not because you hope to catch a certain someone smoking outside. 

The leather jacket is a little too much these days, but you throw it on out of pure habit. You realize the weight of your mistake when you go outside from the ventilated building and notice the sweltering heat. Spring has finally turned into summer.

Coffee doesn’t do shit, but it’s time for another kind of wakey-wakey. And butterflies are a funny term for something that mainly feels like it’s eating your insides out of pure excitement. 

Because he's here too.

Jonathan Price, although no one calls him Jonathan. Few call him John, either. 

Mostly, he goes by the title Captain.

He's stressed; you can tell. But his eyes soften immediately when they fall on you, a brief look to the side, just to know who else comes out to have a breath of fresh air or a smoke. He looks like he's been expecting you, but that might only be a silly girl's daydream. You two share a vice, and you've never been more grateful for your bad habit before this place and him.

And you wouldn't call it necessarily a bad habit. It's simply stress relief if you do it once or twice every few weeks. It's not like you smoke two packs a day. It's not like you even smoke one cig per day. 

Although ever since you started this odd little job in this odd little place, you've smoked one or two nearly every day… And it's not because of the stress.

It's because of Price. 

John. You’d like to see his reaction to you moaning that word in his ear…

"How long have you been here?"

His eyes are still on you, mouth covered by a hand as he makes love to his cigar. And that bedroom voice always gets you. It's better than the upcoming slow drag of nicotine. You're not here for tobacco at all.

"Two weeks." You reach for your excuse and try to prevent your hands from trembling as you light the cig. Usually, you're not this shy with people. Not with men, anyway. But with him, your wits and words disappear. 

You blow the smoke through the air with a quick, lively wisp where he lets it roll out his tongue in a heavy cloud. He's still watching you as if to weigh what kind of woman you are exactly.

"How about you?" You continue the small talk with nervous ease.

He chuckles; the little smile even shows a flash of teeth as he steals a look at the clouds, calculating years with those surprisingly lively eyebrows curled up toward the sky.

"Ages."

He's not that old. Perhaps well over his thirties, might be knocking his forties. The statement is merely an underline of his stress today. You can only wonder what kind of pressure the captain of Task Force 141 is under when you get sleepless nights from a stupid source code. There are a few wrinkles around his eyes, but they only tell you that this man smiles a lot. He might be the only one in this compound who smiles a lot.

"Have you ever tried a cigar?"

There's a glint in his eyes as he offers the thick roll of tobacco to you. It's suddenly difficult to breathe, difficult to even keep your thoughts together.

"No," you shake your head as if your answer wasn't enough to tell him he's the first person ever to offer you such a thing. Then you realize the word does not precisely deliver your eagerness to try that stout cigar.

"Would love to," you hurry to add with a soft smile. "Can I have a taste?"

He walks to you slowly, and your eyes drop to those hips, which sway like he's purposely trying to seduce you.

Fu–ck…

Then your eyes sink even lower, between his legs, to his fucking junk, and it's too fucking late–

Jesus–get your shit together…

You force your eyes back to his and see the little glimmer in them gain a surprised spark – you're totally caught red-handed on checking him out.

Fuck. How can you be so stu–

"Gently then, kid."

You swallow your heart and thoughts down and take the offered cigar; of course, your first thought is how thick and heavy it is. And somehow, you decide right then and there that you will no longer be the nervous, hot-cheeked woman on the corner.

It's time to make him flustered.

So you take a hollow-cheeked, slow suck on the fat cigar. A chaste, savory taste, more like, but there's nothing chaste in the way you raise your eyes to his, putting every ounce of soft seduction in that stare.

He draws breath slowly – his face is full of expression for an allegedly cold-hearted elite soldier. You don't know how often women flirt with this hunk of a man, but he sure looks taken aback by your sudden play. Probably thinks you're too young for him – and you curse the second time you put that jacket on. You want to see his reaction to your sleeves.

"Mm. It's thicker than I thought," you weigh the cigar between your fingertips and let the smoke roll out your mouth. The man switches his weight from one foot to another, speechless, and you suppress a big beam of a smile.

"The taste," you emphasize as if innocent, as if you didn't see that shocked little shift. "Round, and… god, it's almost sweet."

You smile as you give it back, and he chuffs an approving laugh through his nose – those eyes are bear-warm playful now, his mouth curves into an easy smile.

"Nice," you look him up and down as if you're talking about the man and not the cigar.

"Beats those little sticks." 

His voice drops down a few notes; it's almost a husky growl. You barely make out the words he's saying. The tension in the air could form little balls of lightning around you, the flirt is over the roof, and there's even no roof because you're outside – and you take your jacket off, slowly, to make it clear it's summer and not spring.

His eyes fall on the ink immediately, and he blinks a few times, draws some more breath – you tweet your thanks accompanied by another smile and go back inside.

You know he's checking your ass in those black jeans as you walk away.

….....

It doesn't end there.

You see him again and again and again, and at some point you realize he has to walk almost 100 meters from the other end of the base to get to the little corner where the two of you smoke. 

He's intrigued but decent. Holds a distance, never says anything that could be taken in the wrong way – or even in the right way. But he's fucking you with his eyes. 

No… making love to you.

And it drives you crazy.

You don't want that. You don't need that. To be that little wife in the cabin. Pouring him a drink, climbing in his lap, ghosting a finger down the stubble on his chin, see how wide and proud it makes him smile to hold you like you're his and his alone...

God. When did it come to this?

You suck on his fat cigar every now and then. Look him in the eyes while you do it. Once, it makes his tongue dart out, it wets his bottom lip, and then he does that thing with his mouth... the thing where he kind of purses his lips and it makes the mustache dip, and you realize, you learn it's a sign that he's restless, he's flustered.

You make the big, burly captain of Task Force 141 flustered.

And he doesn't smell like the people inside smell. Of stale coder sweat and Joy Division and soft drinks and mommy's home-cooked meals. He smells of rich forest and fine bourbon and half-burnt gasoline. Maybe Saxon on vinyl. Definitely beats those little sticks that are your nerdy co-workers at the hacker department, as you call it.

He may have a flask somewhere; perhaps he takes a sip or two every now and then, whether at work or not. And you don't blame him. Even with those laugh lines and that brown bear benevolence, you can tell he's seen things. 

You wonder what he's like out there in the field. Brutal? Or just efficient?

He never asks about your tattoos, but he eyes them often. There's a certain admiring esteem in his stare. He's checking you out, scratches his chin, and rips his eyes off when they start to drift down. He forces his eyes to stay above your neckline no matter the cost. You mourn that you got rid of the septum a few years ago: you're pretty sure he would've liked that, too. After all, it's a piercing that screams 'warrior' the most. Break after break, you return to your desk, aroused and giddy and surrounded by the rich, masculine aroma of his cigar.

One night, he drives by when you're walking home after what was supposed to be one or two pints.

The car is a big, black pick-up, and when it slows down and starts to inch by your side, your first reaction is a silent curse of why the fuck don't you carry some pepper spray in your pocket.

"Hey, you ok?"

Your head rises from the asphalt the second you recognize that smooth, pleasant voice of a man you had compared every guy to at the pub that evening. The whole man is brimming with burnt sienna, he's hard alcohol with no ice…

You stop and turn, a little wobbly from the pint turned to two or three. Or four.

"Yeah. Had a little girl's night out."

The car rumbles softly, not two meters away, and the sound reminds you of his voice. A soft purr that can turn into a growl, even a roar if he wants to. 

He looks like he's going fishing, even without the boonie hat. The dark hair is cut short, so you won't have anything to tug if he ever ends up between your legs. But you don't really mourn that fact, because he looks so damn good.

He looks you up and down, and you notice the briefest blob of his Adam's apple before he gives you another offer.

"Want me to give you a ride?"

Would love a ride.

Would fucking love to ride you.

"Sure. That's kind of you." 

Your eyes must be sparkling like the fucking stars.

"No problem at all," he leans his elbow on the open window and waits while you round the car and get in. You try to tone down your drunken state, but your moves are a little too brash for a calm and collected coder lady this man has usually caught leaning against the wall of the workplace you two share.

"Did you have fun?"

He sounds like a dad picking up his girl from a school disco, and you purse your lips in slight distaste and amusement.

"Yeah. You know how it is when someone asks you for a pint."

He gives a short laugh and starts to drive. "That never ends well."

You smile and turn to look at him.

"Mm… This one kinda did."

You enjoy the brief look out the window, the sight of someone so formidable and robust and experienced trying to find his way out by feigning something caught his attention in the black, empty distance of a quiet city.

"Glad I could be of service," he brushes off your flirt like it's nothing more than a speckle of dust on his coat.

The rest of the ride is silent, too silent. He turns the music off in case it "bothers you," and it turns into an awkward, overly polite fight about whether to keep it on or not. 

It's a minor shock to notice he was listening to some classical. Not 80's rock, not country, not even BBC. He was just soothing his nerves.

You can't put your finger on what makes you feel so sheepish around this man – usually, you put men on a leash with a few dry jokes and a hearty laugh or two. Now, your flirting is shy and does nothing: there's a wall built up, and from behind that wall, only a few stolen looks…

The pick-up is humming, the engine is running at idle next to your place far too soon, and it's time you get off the car – but you have vehemently decided you will knock down that fucking wall even if you have to drag him to your bed. 

"You wanna come up and have a nightcap?"

Another look out the window as he raises his hand over his mouth, fiddles with his mustache, and avoids the rising heat between you two.

"Thanks, kid. But you need to sleep."

Your heart is pumping, and you feel like a harasser as you place your hand on his thigh.

He doesn't move, but you can hear the audible swallow this time. He doesn't move a single finger even when you slide your palm down that leg, then drag it over to the inner thigh, and start to drift back up slowly, slowly, to give him the time and space to stop you before you reach….

….the visible bulge between those legs, the absolutely gorgeous, ample bump pulling at those pants, something so delicious that you must fight tooth and nail not to race your hand up there and give it a fond grope.

His hand falls over yours just before you reach it.

"Kid. Let's leave it here and call it a night."

His voice is strained and tight, and he's still looking out the window. You don't move your hand away because he doesn't move it away. His warmth stays there, keeping you against him, and you feel like shit for thinking it's not a no… That it's a yes when he seems to hold your hand as a prisoner, wanting to feel your dainty little palm against him.

Your fingers curl slightly, a hopeful gesture to imagine how it would feel to curl and claw at his hips and that ass while he's fucking you.

"Listen. You're a nice girl. A very nice–"

You give a heavy, demonstrative sigh and finally draw your hand away.

"Come on Cap… You're seriously going to give me the "you're a nice girl" talk?"

Finally, he turns. His nostrils quiver as he tries to keep his breaths calm. Your lips part like it's a whole caress he just gave you – and his gaze drops to your mouth instantly. You start to see where the problem is.

You're too young. 

You're forbidden.

"I offered you a nightcap," you tilt your head slightly. "You can come up or you can go home."

You wet your lips, give the bottom lip a tiny little bite, and offer him the last, inviting, soft smile. It must hold an equal amount of sorrow because you can't drown the bitter feeling of rejection, no matter how many drinks you've had that night. No matter how much he seems to want you, it doesn't change the fact that he's apparently decided to stay strong and keep his hands off the cookie jar.

You turn and get out of the car, lean on the door for the final fucking time...

"Didn't know I'd only get to suck your cigar... You're all smoke and no fire, Price."

The door flies closed with a louder slam than you originally meant. 

Now that was a little bit passive-aggressive, you have to admit. But you're drunk, and he's being a pain in the ass, calling you a kid, looking at you like that, having a fucking hard-on and giving you nothing.

…But it does the trick. 

You smile like an idiot when you walk to your place and hear the purr of the engine stop. Another car door opens, then closes, wide footsteps follow you…

A nightcap it is, then.

He looks even bigger when inside a place with walls and a roof. He stands inside your apartment tall and wide as if he's waiting to call attention. Those large hands are over his crotch, concealing the swell of erection you already saw in the car. 

You know the tank top you wear reveals even more skin covered in tats as you throw your jacket away and go get him that drink. The glasses glide on your table, slide nearly to the floor, and the bottle of Jim Beam meets the counter with a devastating clank. You look at the excuse to get him into your place and sigh. 

"You know what… Fuck this."

Offering cheap bourbon to someone like him seems a bit ridiculous. So you offer him something he might actually like. Something he actually came here for. 

You walk to him and throw your hands around him – he stiffens from the middle but looks down at you with a heated glimmer in those eyes. You could've sworn they were charred brown, the same color as his cigar, but up close you see they're actually molten iron. Mercurial.

"You sure about this?" He asks softly.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

He unclasps those hands from over his groin, and the warmest weight falls to rest on your waist, even steals a caress to your hip. You want to hurl yourself at him, press yourself against his crotch and grind until you bleed from just that tiny touch he finally gives you.

"You've had one too many, love."

Love…

Shit.

The warmth spreads from his eyes, from that hand, from the word that rolls out of his mouth like a beautiful puff of smoke. It unfurls inside your heart, swells inside your throat, plummets to your groin, and you switch the weight to your other leg to feel how that hand gains more weight as it gets pressed more firmly against you.

"Doesn't change the fact that I want you."

Your voice is nothing short of a purr. When have you ever purred like that to a man? You sound like a housecat, tame and adoring, waiting for a gourmet meal.

"You really want an old man?"

He still has that reserve in his eyes, decent and distant, but underneath, you sense a terrible heat, like the glow of a cigar lit in darkness, an adamant smolder that never dies out.

"You're not that old." 

Your purr turns into a deprived meow. You dangle from his neck, and the smoke, the fire that surrounds him, blends into the gentle scent of a man, the musk of a mature beast. You know he's hairy under those clothes; he fucking has to be. The vision of how his cock must look, surrounded by untame, coarse fur, has tormented you night after night.

And now he's finally here. In your apartment.

You skate your hands over his chest while slowly dropping into a squat, then languidly kneeling in front of his crotch.

He doesn't stop you, not even when you open his belt and the zipper and crawl your fingers down the waistband of his underwear. You have to stifle a delighted gasp upon seeing how his cock springs free and stands proud in front of you in all its glory. And fuck yes he's hairy – the hairiest man you've ever had. 

Cigars feel like tiny little sticks when you wrap one hand around him and lick the weeping slit like it's your favorite ice cream. The groan that follows is a husky eruption above you and gets stuck in his throat as you take him in your mouth.

"Fucking hell, kid…"

He's thick, broad, and the musk fills your nostrils, but what he just said makes you pull back and whisper on the bulbous tip–

"Don't call me a kid," you breathe on his cock, swirl your tongue around him, and his thighs bunch. "Old man."

You finally manage to push some buttons.

The back of his hand brushes your cheek, then slides over to your throat. He's gentle but firm as he forces a thumb under your chin, curls fingers around your neck as if you're a cat who's about to be force-fed some medicine that's only good for her.

"Is that how you wanna play it?"

His thumb brushes down the ridge of your throat. Tentative, promising.

"Perhaps," your lips quiver with anticipation as you smile; your voice is a pitched vibrato before it drops, just to give him a reason to put you in your place... "Old gum–"

The hand pulls up, the grip tightens just enough to guide you back to your feet and up to meet his face.

"Didn't know you asked me here to tame a brat."

Fuck…

You almost moan. 

The hand doesn't choke you; it makes love to you. Claims you as his. 

"Really…?" You sigh. Flash him a filthy, guiltless smile.

The fire surges forth and nearly buckles your knees. His eyes flash in rhythm with your grin, like a sudden flicker of a campfire in the middle of a dark, parched forest.

"This what you want? Hmm?"

The rumble reminds you of the engine of a Harley roaring to life. His throat is burned from the fire of his cigars, the hand on your throat is used to squeezing dead metal and pulling pins from frigid grenades. But even they can't stand a chance against his woodland fire and sycamore smoke. He could bring a cold, inanimate rock back to life with all that fire.

"Yes. I want it. John."

His name on your tongue is a cat's meow. It has the exact effect you hoped for.

"Let's get the brat tamed, then."

"Hah," you finally moan. "Promises, prom–"

The fingers around your throat pull you to his mouth with a python strength. His lips spread yours with soft devouring as he coats you in fire. The coarse beard smells of sweet tobacco – nothing like a pungent cigarette. It's like an old memory: safe and sturdy and strong. Male.

You moan in his mouth – god, what will it be like when he's inside you? – and he capes both arms around you and crushes you against him. Broad shoulders envelop you like a shroud of thick smoke, the cock gets trapped between you like a hot spear, and you mewl like a slut.

Your pussy clenches, just from his warm mouth, the rich velvet of his lips. He takes everything with that kiss, and you're weak in his arms as he bends and molds you against him just the way he wants, opens your mouth with his own and breathes you, samples you like those puffs of smoke he sucks from his cigar.

Your brain short-circuits, you barely notice how your top slides up as his hands go under it. It's dragged up, up, over your breasts and then over your head as he detaches just enough to rip that piece of clothing away. 

You look at him like he's Christmas, then reach for your bra while he opens his pants more to get them down. Your jeans are accursedly tight, and he's breathless, too: the whole room is dark and filled with heavy breathing and rustle of clothes as you claw your socks off, slide your strings down and away, watch him get out of his shirt and throw it on the floor too, all propriety gone.

And then…

Jesusfuck–

He picks you up, lifts you from the ground like you're nothing but a leaf, and strides with you in his lap until your back meets a wall.

The barrel-like chest presses the air out of your lungs while your back travels up – you don't know if his arms or chest do the lifting, but you're being positioned for his cock to enter. Your hands try to grasp something solid before it's too late – his back and neck – your legs wrap around him, feet hooking over his ass as the thick of his tip pokes your soaked folds, and after a few seconds of probing, slides in. 

"F–uck…" you gasp, sounding so needy that it could be a voiceline from a bad porno movie. His lips find the place between your ear and neck immediately.

"Be good for me now," he gruffs, dark and round like the sweetest bourbon, although you know he's the finest single malt in the world. "Be good…"

"Ah–John…"

I'll be good… 

Just for you, I'll be so, so good.

He pants heavy on your neck, grunts as he starts to fuck you against that wall. You knew he might be intense, but apparently, you had no idea. The man is needy as fuck, and has concealed it up until this point. 

You could cry, scream from joy from the thickness that spreads you, fills you with every fat glide of a thrust. The sex borders on rough but is so incredibly tender too, so needy it makes your heart collapse, compress into a taut knot in your chest. It's the softest rocking, the gentlest fucking as he retreats, then ruts into you again and again with sharp, rusty moans. You're in a slow but steady rodeo with this man, your breasts pressed against a solid chest covered with hair, and it tickles, even if his pecs threaten to crush your ribcage.

"You're one hell of a girl," he gruffs in your ear, beard grazing up and down your neck. "Taking me so– Fucking hell, look at you…"

His eyes are embers as they sweep over you: your abundant ink, the helpless, adoring look in your eyes, the little mouth that opens with a gasp, the trickle of sweat that forms between your breasts and meets the hair on his chest. 

He doesn't have to look down to see how greedy your cunt is for him. He can feel it.

"This is what you wanted the whole time? Huh?"

He's all smoke. All fire.

"Yes…"

"Wanted me to take you against a fucking wall? Eh?"

"Yes…just, just take me," you moan and purr some more, giving him everything he wants. "Fuh–fuck me good…"

"Ahh shit..."

You know you're a drug to certain decent men. But to him, you're a forbidden fruit in all its aspects. 

A calm, collected captain who enjoys wide respect, eyeing an edgy, younger woman from the tech department? That's not how this was supposed to go. Thirsting for someone who did what they wanted, looked just the way they wanted, walked this earth like a dark fairy – that's not his usual go, surely. He was supposed to settle down with a proper lady. If he were to settle down at all.

"I've dreamed of this," you whisper in his ear, lips moving just enough to deliver your secret to him.

"Yeah..? Me too," he gives your throat more love with a velvet growl. "Know I shouldn't, but–"

"Shh. Don't–don't…" You grip him tighter, taste the spruce and salt as you breathe his neck. "It's good. It's all good."

He rumbles in approval. Your skin is raw from his beard; even the coarse hair dusting his thighs feels too rough on your skin. And your skin is used to being needled, shot full of ink right inside the dermis. But this… This is branding.

You're silk in his rough embrace, and plundered with no remorse. You sigh and moan, hug him... And then he dares to stop, panting and throbbing inside you.

"Darlin'. Where's the bed?"

The soft question makes you panic. If you go to bed and let him push inside you while you're lying on your back, if you brave a look into those eyes while he takes you, you'll develop more than just a horrid lust for this man. If he collapses on top of you, spent and spoiled while you're at your most vulnerable, you'll tie a string from your heart to his, and you can't, you just can't allow that to happen.

Because he's untamed too. He's not a man who settles down, he's not up for domestication; he's a wandering fire.

"No–no bed," you pant on his muscles, the shoulder that keeps you safely pinned on the wall. "John…? Please."

He's breathing wild too, disguises his surprise well.

"Alright."

He sounds disappointed, and it's not because he doesn't have the strength to maul you against that wall. The rejection stings him too. It makes you want to offer a truce, a little something. When he rocks you again, you graze your fingers up the back of his neck, knowing he will feel ripples across his scalp from your caress.

"We can smoke a cigar after," you propose, not knowing why your voice still comes out as an airy whisper. "Together. I'll pour you that drink…"

His chest swells with a deep breath, he huffs fire on the hollow trench between your collarbones.

"Fuck, woman…" 

It's dense syrup that surrounds you much like those shoulders and arms, that coarse hair, that bold male want.

"And after that I want you to…" You catch your breath and sound like a mouse with your next shy question. "Would you go down on me, John?"

It's like you're under a bear attack, but he stills; his head tilts a little to the side and meets your temple. 

"You wouldn't tease a man like this," he says. A soft warning, brimstone coated in velour, but the core of it is despair. So much need, so much forbidden, distant want… 

"Right? No more teasing."

He's still thinking that you're teasing him… That it's some kind of a joke that you want him.

"I'm serious... I want your mouth on me. I need your–"

"I'll put my mouth on you as soon as we're done here, love."

You have to bite your lips, suck them between your teeth to prevent another deprived moan from escaping.

"Want you to fuck me all night," you continue to whisper on his neck. You should shut the fuck up because it doesn't take a bed to tie that string from your heart to his. After all, they're right there, beating against each other through bone and skin and chest.

"Yeah? That's what you want?"

"Want you to… F-fuck me slow and good from behind and–"

You sniff. Whimper.

You should be ashamed: mewling for more when he's already buried inside you. What kind of a brat are you, wrapping your thighs around that narrow waist like you never want him to pull out?

And you're not crying. 

It's just that the cock inside you is throbbing against your walls as if he's making a home there, his hands dig into your ass cheeks like you're his already, the breath upon your sweat and skin feels far too affectionate. When exactly did a raw wall-fuck turn into such an affectionate, gentle taste of love?

And it's not enough. You want to climb on top of him every morning, ride him slowly and watch him unravel as the sun climbs the sky and coats that fur in gold.

"Could you do that? Please… John, please," you whimper and whine, beg like you're tame already. 

"I'll fuck you all night if that's what you want. Fill this pretty, tight cunt up every way you like."

It's coarse smoke. It caresses you until your legs start to shake. He adjusts his grip, drags the pull-outs like he drags those pulls from his tobacco. Keeps you nicely in place for him to drive back in–

"I'll fuck you 'till you cry, love. Yeah?"

He punctuates that promise with another good, fat thrust. You moan all tame now – a rippling stream, laughing and crying in his molten hold.

His cock fills you while your thighs quiver and tremble in his hands. Your pussy throbs; it sucks him already, the orgasm is seconds away, and your fingertips search for support but only slip over sweaty, hard muscle.

John. John.

"Fuh-…"

He spreads you a little. Those arms are pure iron as they mold you for him to plow. You know he can feel the waves, the way your cunt grips him with longer, deeper pulls as you start to sound downright pathetic.

"Just like that, just like… hah…"

"M-hm. Yeah," he bends the vowels, daubs them with smoke. "That's it. You're doing good. Doing so well my love."

He huffs between the thrusts that have turned into slow, intense love-making. He's making love to you – god, why does he have to be like this…

"Cum for me. Nice and pretty, yeah? Come on."

He encourages you with words, but you can't hear them anymore.

Heat coils in the pit of your core just before you burst with a heady scream.

The spasm is so sudden you almost hit your head on the wall. He's at your throat the minute it's exposed, and your scream turns into a weak wail when his tongue grazes your skin. It's blazing, and dips into the hollow between your collarbones like it's a shot glass full of scotch. Next thing you feel is fire, even some teeth on your neck.

And you thought Price might, just might be intense…

Your head drops as the blunt of the orgasm leaves you. Your feet unclasp, and next up would be some soft waves, but the man continues to fuck your shattered cunt and marshmallow soul with a good, intense pace. The words that pour out of your mouth are those of a brainless person.

"Ah–hah, God–"

"Where's that cheek now, mm..? Pretty little thing."

"John–h…"

The thrusts rub you against that wall like he wants to staple you there.

"So nice and good for me now, ain't ya? Cummin' on command…" An amused chuff right on your poor, chafed skin… "Begging for my mouth and cock."

You travel up and down in a limp heap, trying to hold on to him with weak limbs as he drives into you with a tight series of half-thrusts. Your legs hang loosely on the side, but he has no trouble carrying the full weight of you.

"Slow–slowly, Cap…" 

"Ahh fuck–"

He swears on your ink, right on the trotting pulse on your neck. Through the vapor of man sweat and rich smoke and a whiff of cedar trees bending in the wind, you feel him tense and thicken.

"The fucking things you do to me…" he pants with a low growl, hushed but intense. Your pussy answers with a good, demanding pull. 

"Fuck… fuck–!"

You're a limp doll between him and the wall when he comes. Pressed between a rock and a hard place, literally. His chest being the rock, an entire boulder that whips the oxygen from your lungs as he drives deep, his balls giving a few taut pulls against your ass as he empties himself into you with a satisfied, dry moan. A dark, ripe blossom, shooting straight to your core while you're sealed tight around him.

The world goes still after that; the only thing that moves is your breath and his, a refreshing hot breeze coursing through the stale air. The darkness of the room isn't half as snug as the safety of his arms.

Your fingers find his neck, the short-cut hair and the skin pounding with a rush of blood. He lets you go reluctantly, bends a little to set your feet back to the solid ground. He doesn't pull out, keeps huffing all over you even when you're returned back to the earth. 

And you never want to come back. Your cunt still throbs around him and cries a tiny, thick stream down your thigh. His upper body still pins you against that wall, his breaths still mist your skin, caress the red burns of his beard.

He feels so good. Too good…

When he pulls out, he does so with intense care. He gives you some space to catch your breath, and you finally notice he has fucked your legs into splinters.

"I'm…" You break the hush of heavy breathing with a soft laugh. More viscous load pushes out of you with it. "I don't think I can stand."

"Yeah? Tried to take you to bed," he muses softly, sounding annoyingly content with his achievements.

"Gotta admit it was a good idea."

"As was the nightcap," he rasps, voice drenched in soft smoke.

"We'll get there eventually."

"I have no doubt about that."

You give him a soft, warm chuckle as you cast your eyes between the crest of his pecs. Rough, tight muscle meets your soft breasts with heaving breaths, and teases your nipples to taut little points. The wet hair on his chest looks good paired with your inked, smooth skin… You two look so goddamn fine together.

"I hope I didn't make you deaf with that scream."

He stands at his full height, but tilts his head down and slightly to the side as if you were a new, interesting species he's just found on his travels.

"Wouldn't complain, love," he says. More wet syrup, just for you. He weighs you with his stare, curious and appeased, and you feel shy. For fuck's sake, you still feel shy even though this man was inside you just a moment ago. 

"The bed. Now be a good girl and tell me where it is."

"Down the…hallway." 

A delicate little whisper, again.

It's laughable, how the veteran of Task Force 141 turns you into something so dainty and meek. Captain John Price takes you against a wall like you're nothing but a doll, makes you purr and beg, reassembles you into a weak-willed woman who gets carried to bed. 

This is not how it was supposed to go...

He lifts you back in his lap while you continue to hold onto him like he's your prince Charming. A laugh spills on your lips when he tries to lay you gently on the bed and you manage to pull him down with you. You end up tumbling there in a sweaty, messy heap. 

"Knew you were trouble," he's smiling too as he settles beside you. You curl and wrap yourself around him, your bodies mold and curve together like they're made for each other.

He's so solid, so warm, the kind of man you'd love to fall asleep on every night. No more cold sides of the pillow, no more tossing and turning and trying to get the code out of your head. Just… this chest, those ember eyes burning in the night. Some soft breathing, a roaring engine standing still, waiting for you, just for you…

"I hope this wasn't a one time only occasion," you test the waters.

"No." He shifts a little, disentangles from you slightly. "Unless you–"

"No."

You bend in his arms like a young willow, cut his doubts off with a kiss. It's passionate, and so sloppy it threatens to make the same sounds as your cunt and his cock a while ago.

The hand on your hip tows you closer, then steals its way down your leg. You hike your thigh up, perfectly willing. You're a sticky mess, but so is he: his rock-hard thigh meets your still soaked pussy like these two have always belonged together. And this man's full fire has escaped you until now. There are so many hidden, wild things in him too. 

He would look so good on a Harley… He would look good on a motel bed after riding for days and days with you attached to him like an eloped dark bride. The nights would be smeared with hot sex and cinder and smoke, a dash of scotch on top, he could drink it from your lips. You would serve it to him from your mouth, round the taste a bit so that it wouldn't burn so much…

"Have you ever been to Alaska?" 

The liquor is leaving you, but you don't feel any more sober. The lava in your veins has only been replaced by another kind of fire.

"No."

"Would you like to go?"

"What'ya mean," he murmurs on your tongue, and you know he's hard again just from the thick lust coating his voice. "What kind of question is that?"

"I was just thinking."

"What were you thinkin', kid..?"

"Don't… call me that," you laugh. In truth, you're growing quite fond of it. It reminds you of old movies. "Here's looking at you, kid" and all that.

His laugh is a charred roll in his chest. To him, you're a brat – an unruly kitten – no matter what you say. 

"Kid. Why Alaska?"

He's curious. Borderline hooked. You steal a peek into those vulcan eyes. 

"You'd look good in Alaska. Old man."

"Really," he rumbles a soft purr against your heart. 

Another soft kiss follows. Affectionate… He plays time, but he's also a probing, scanning. You bloom in his embrace, unfurl on his lips like he just wrenched you wide. He could haul you to the cabin right now and you would only cook him dinner.

It's too late, even if you try to shift after such a kiss. Escape to press your cheek against that place between his pecs, the spot where the hair is darkest and thickest. You want to lick that valley where his heart meets his musk. That scent must be born from a good, stout heart.

"Would you take me with you…? If you ever decide to go."

It's a fragile question. A baring of the heart. It holds so much more than an inquiry about whether he would whisk you away on a secret leave. It's strings, pulling from your heart to his, taking root.

"Sure. But you're quite a handful, love."

"Is that so…?" 

You crawl over him as gracefully as you can. He allows you to straddle him, and of course he does. You're no threat; you're only a one woman show. The only thing he's probably missing right now is a glass of scotch and a thick roll of tobacco. 

He takes in the view with hunger: not satiated by that pent-up fuck, just like you're not... 

But then his hands come to rest on your thighs to check if they're still shaking. The touch bleeds possessiveness: it's a thoroughly absent-minded, instinctual attempt to reach for you. It tells you you're exactly where you belong. 

"You seem like the kind of woman who's not for the faint of heart," he says like you didn't just mewl in his arms like the tamest fucking housecat.

And perhaps that's what intrigues him. Contrasts. And even more than that, the odd place where black fuses into white, the gray area where everything is possible. The split-second moment when the skin accepts the ink and traps it in. 

Everyone always says you get buried with your tattoos. That you should think twice before staining your skin with such permanent hookups.

But the thing is, you get addicted to it. It's like standing on the edge of a cliff before a bungee jump. You know you'll never be the same person after you jump, and you know you can't leave that cliff without jumping. It's a stalemate until you clear your mind of doubt and just plunge.

And you don't want to leave this earth without getting stained and sweaty, without dipping your soul into the full experience. You're supposed to get a little dirty. This is Earth, after all.

Your fingers disappear somewhere in his slick fur. Sunrise is hours away, but his eyes spark aflame. They're always, always smoldering like the butt of his cigar. He's a man who causes wildfires at the end of the world – he's a reckoning, a flicker in the dark forest, roaring into a bonfire as soon as the wind passes through the trees.

And you've always loved fire. Wild, and free. The only thing that competes with such freedom is a wide, wild stream. 

"But you can handle me. Right?" Your fingers curl softly around the hair surrounding his navel. "Tame me and everything?" 

It's an offering that causes even fire to tilt its head in curiosity. In the end, you're not sure who tamed who.

"Someone has to," he grabs your hips with rich promise. 

You'll pour him that drink. Light him a cigar after his mouth is full of your taste, see how well it pairs with fire and smoke. You'll toast to the Harley, the crazy motel… 

And Alaska. 

[angelsknifeprty]

streamer!ellie hcs ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

a/n: this is more focused on ellie and less on ellie x reader but i am for sure gonna follow this up with something else more focused on the both of you >:3

warnings | mentions of weed, the smallest hint towards struggling with eating if you squint

word count: 698

do not buy tlou | ways to help palestine | operation olive branch | keep eyes on sudan | haiti’s history | learn about congo

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

 ‧₊˚౨��� started off posting unlisted videos of her playing games with the stupidest, shittiest editing ever for you and her friends to watch and later decided to give streaming a try

‎ ‧₊˚౨ৎ starts off her twitch channel as a faceless streamer but does a face reveal when she hits a big milestone

‧₊˚౨ৎ has the creeper mini fridge for sure!!

‧₊˚౨ৎ has a ginger cat named garfield that she exclusively calls garfunkel on stream because her viewers made fun of her for garfield being too unoriginal

“guys, what do you mean it’s unoriginal, look at him. that’s literally garfield, the real deal. you’re all haters.”

‧₊˚౨ৎ plays a bunch of different games: minecraft obviously, fortnite, roblox (and argues with kids on there, you can’t tell me any different). also loves fnaf, elder scrolls and resident evil

‧₊˚౨ৎ more on her liking resident evil, i think she’s not super wimpy when it comes to games like that but she HATES the regenerators from the re4 remake (i’m totally not projecting…)

“i am NOT a wimp, but look at their freaky fucking arms!! and they have gross little butts too, that was not a necessary choice for the character design.”

‧₊˚౨ৎ she does find it funny when she kills them and they jiggle as they fall on the ground though

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ i’m throwing it in here that she smokes weed because i simply cannot help myself teehee :P

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ she does more chill streams of her eating n stuff as a way of comforting her viewers so they can eat along with her )):

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ and in turn chat always spams her with comments to drink water because that girl survives purely on energy drinks to combat her sleepy girl syndrome

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ abuses the soundboard so heavily, loves using a sound effect of an audience clapping and cheering when she tells the most painfully unfunny joke

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ she is ABSOLUTELY a jerma985 fan

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ loves putting her fans on blast and reacting to edits of her on stream and finds it so funny (especially the ones that have the reverb fart noise just randomly slapped in there, she thinks it’s peak humour)

“you guys think i don’t see this stuff? i have eyes everywhere. y’know what though, you guys are actually really talented.”

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ wears stupid t-shirts that say stuff like “i paused my game to be here” (omg i just found one that says “gamers make better lovers, they know all the right buttons” she would absolutely wear that)

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ she wears her silly t-shirts with pride and has the audacity to ask chat to rate how hard her fit goes

therealher0brine: BOOOOOO 🍅🍅🍅 0/10

elliebellie69: i beg that you don’t leave the house in that /lh  (╥﹏╥)

gnarpgnarp500: never beating the loser lesbian allegations i fear…

“guys you’re just not seeing the vision, sorry that you’re not this cool.”

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ oh my gosh she is OBSESSED with the little ikea alien, she has multiple of them in her room. she keeps one on her desk and when she sometimes doesn’t know what to say she’ll just hold it up super close to the camera and make incoherent high pitched babbling sounds

smelliams420: omg cancelled you can’t say that dude…

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ gets her viewers to send in clips and she’ll do high try not to laugh streams and fails miserably because she has the dumbest sense of humour ever. she’ll blame it entirely on the herb though as if her reaction wouldn’t be near enough the same when she’s sober

‧₊˚౨ৎ will occasionally play guitar on stream and she’ll sing too if you catch her in the right mood. she’s a bit awkward about it so it doesn’t happen often cuz she hates messing up and always makes a way bigger deal about it than necessary

“fuck- no wait, i was just messing with you. that fuck up was on purpose, shut up,” and her cheeks are flushed bright red as she tries to brush it off and compose herself before trying again

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ loves to get sidetracked and info dumps about stuff she is far too knowledgeable on

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ in conclusion, loser ellie supremacy

a/n: raghhh i love streamer els with my whole heart !!! i’m gonna eat her (˶˃⤙˂˶) anyways i hope you enjoyed, k bye mwah! >3< ♡

[snootlestheangel]

Hear Me Out

Guys, just, hear me out: YouTubers/Streamers AU for COD. There was a series of posts on @cod-dump 's blog about what games are banned for the boys and I've just been thinking about this but with Ghost, Gaz, Soap, and Alex where one of them is the actual streamer/gamer dude and the others just almost always play with him (maybe Roach if we went on the path that he's not actually mute, just kinda hates talking)

Retired or discharged for whatever reasons, the 141 are actually kinda happy to be living semi-normal lives. Maybe they're not all entirely civilian now, maybe Price has a position that doesn't require him to be on the field but he's still teaching/being a Captain.

But he's constantly telling the boys to find things to do to keep themselves happy. Especially Gaz and Soap, cause the military is kind of all they know, they've never had to be civilians really as adults.

Ghost is transitioning fine, and he's been a huge help for Soap, but Gaz is still kinda struggling. Eventually something happens and Alex is part of his life, but it's still not really what Gaz needs to feel "normal".

So Soap and Alex convince Gaz to start streaming/recording videos of their gaming sessions. It's a slow start, and Gaz is getting frustrated.

Until one time they play something silly but incredibly rage-inducing. It's a trending game because it's designed to pit you against your friends but is still silly nonetheless. There's one clip in particular that starts trending and becomes the reason Gaz's channel starts to take off.

The clip? Gaz yelling at Soap for something and Soap immediately just cursing him out in straight Scots only for Alex, an American, to scream into his mic as loud as humanly possible "WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER?!?!" after having been dead silent for the last 2 minutes. Why did he scream this? Not because of Soap's Scots, but because he had secretly just won the round after having lost the entire time they'd been playing.

People eat that shit up! Suddenly everyone's like "damn there's this hella attractive dude that records gameplay with his friends and they're all really funny." Everyone falls in love with Gaz's appearance first, but then they actually hear him and his friends interact and it's just trading insults and stupid jokes, acting like there's no one watching and they're suddenly kids again.

It eventually comes out that Gaz and his friends are all veterans, and despite the air around military not being the best, there's no denying that caring for veterans is a must. People slowly start to support Gaz's channel/streams, and before he knows it, he's actually got quite the following. His whole thing is about "wanting to do something to distract himself and others from the shitty aspects of life with a few laughs and some good games"

Eventually they convince Ghost to start gaming with them. It makes Gaz's popularity grow because now there's this really deep accent in the mix that's completely clueless as to what he's doing like 90% of the time (I just have this gut feeling that '22 Ghost is so fucking awful at video games) that they refer to simply as "Ghost". Suddenly, the chaos Gaz and his friends are known for increases tenfold. Ghost is flirting with all of them, Soap is arguing with him over literal couple things that come with living together, and there's a new element of really dark humor that wasn't there before (there was dark humor, just not this dark)

They're playing The Backrooms one time. They're not even in the game yet, just in the lobby. Gaz is laughing at Alex's tag for the game "MYLEG!" which is a reference to that one fish in Spongebob always yelling "my leg!" after an incident. Gaz is laughing too hard to actually explain to his viewers that, yes, Alex is an amputee. Soap starts making fun of him, as usual, and that's when it happens.

Alex: "I'll take my leg off and hit you with it, Soap, I swear to god." Soap: "I forgot you were already missing one for a second there and got real concerned." Alex: "No, Soap, I planned on removing my other leg. The one that's still attached, yeah. Just like a lil *pop noise*, ya know?" Gaz: *wheezing so hard he almost throws up*

Then they're playing this silly monster/cryptid hunter game called "A Day Out" and there's skeletons every now and then on the map. Gaz walks up to one and just starts freaking out, saying Ghost's name over and over.

Ghost, freaked out: What?? Gaz, pointing at the skeleton: Look, it's you! *cackling* Ghost, after a concerning long pause: *quietly* Nah, I'm not gonna say that Alex: SAY IT COWARD Ghost: No, that's my brother *Gaz making the most horrified face as he tries not to laugh* *Alex and Soap are losing their shit* Gaz: NAH THAT'S NOT OKAY

That clip posts and the internet looses it. I see this being the actual first video Ghost is in, so for this to be the first thing the viewers get of him, it's safe to say he's a hit. It's also never explained that Ghost does have a deceased brother, so there's just an acceptance of Ghost's skeleton brother.

There's several times where they've all gotten together and played silly games like Mario Kart when there's a bunch of them. There's the sober one and there's the drunk one, where there's so many different languages being hurled as curses at each other, Gaz gives up on captioning ANY of it.

OOOOooooooooohhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! WHAT IF! Roach becomes his editor once he gets popular enough so he can spend more time playing games, solo ones when the others are working.

For a while, everyone's going crazy wanting to see what the others all look like, and sometimes (cause we're assuming the world they live in now during all this is a lot better), they're joined by Rudy or Alejandro, or both in one rare instance. Sometimes, for old times's sake, during the drunk gaming sessions, they'll call Laswell only for her to scold them. There are times they'll bully Roach who always, as the editor, changes their words from the insults to compliments. Or he definitely trolls Gaz a lot with some of the editing, and it's all around just a good time. Hence why everyone wants to know what they look like.

Then it's around the holidays after about 2 and a half years of Gaz's channel being as popular as it is. He posts a single picture on his socials with a group of people and the caption: "Love seeing the boys over the holidays."

It's such a nice photo; Alex with an arm wrapped around Gaz's shoulders, Soap and Ghost on his other side with Roach between Soap and Gaz.

And the internet has once again gone crazy. Why? Cause not only are these dudes fucking hilarious, but they're hot and taken.

Except, as they all end up teasing him about, Roach is very much still single XD

I have been watching too much YouTube lately, can y'all tell?? Haha anyways back to my hole I shall crawl

[st4rc4t]

hasan piker x weed smoking reader hcs

disclaimer! i do not condone underage marijuana usage!! this is just something silly for ppl who do/have smoked weed before. if ur under 21 in the united states don’t do it !!!

cw: marijuana usage, friends to lovers sorta idk the situation is weird, autistic coded reader ? it kinda just happens, semi pining, gn!reader

wc: 1.1k+

a/n: just me and my 3 weed smoking gfs

most of his friends in the youtube/twitch scene also smoke weed so he doesn’t really care

he smokes occasionally but only at night to help wind down a little bit

he doesnt mind the smell but he really hates when his clothes and hair smell like it

so when he’s around you make sure you’re either outside or blowing it out of a window

you never smoke inside his house

he didn’t ask you not to, you just assumed he wouldn’t like it

he doesnt and it makes him blush a little at ur consideration

whenever you get high and he doesn’t, he never says “omg ur so high” while ur trying to talk

cus like . yeah obviously that was the point ! and its not like ur completely different while high, just a little floatier and it takes you a minute to get thru ur sentences

but you talk about pretty much the same stuff and he loves talking to you

and u laugh a lot he likes that too

dont tell anyone tho

you looove getting high with him its such a special treat

ull be gathering ur paraphernalia to take out on the patio and he wanders out of his stream room looking like the sad hamster

he sees you getting ready, getting a bottle of juice and such and asks if he can join u

gasp of course he can !!!!!

asking how fucked up he wants to get so you know the best method of smoke delivery

he wants to sleep Good tonight so indica in the bong it is !

he’s nervous ab the bong so u bring out a bowl too incase he gets cold feet

he watches you get comfy in your seat outside, a comfortable warmth from the california setting sun

arranging everything ready on the table

“you look like a tweaker”

“im gonna make you a tweaker if ur not careful”

he laughs but he keeps watching you carefully pick out a healthy portion from the large bud you have, pushing it into the prongs of your grinder and twisting the two pieces against each other

he watches you pour the contents of a reusable water bottle into the large glass piece, eyeing the level of water

he watches you stop and put it to your lips, taking a pretend hit and making sure the water level is good

he watches you carefully pack the ground up flower into both bowl pieces, using your fingers to pat it level and dusting the excess back into the grinder with each one

you notice him staring but dont say anything until you’re already done

you make him an offering, bong and bowl in each respective hand. eyebrows raised as if to say, “which are we feeling?” but when he continues staring at the contents of your hands, you actually speak.

“dude are you already high, whats going on?” you laugh cautiously, genuinely a little worried but keeping it light hearted. he seems to snap out of it at your voice.

his eyes dart around for a second as he reenters his surroundings, chuckling when your word’s finally register, “no, yeah- sorry… really long day today,” his words fizzle out as he goes along. you cant help but feel bad, you dont know how he deals with streaming sometimes. you also feel weird about giving him a mind altering substance while he already seems spaced out.

setting the pieces down safely on the table, you look at him seriously before speaking, “are you sure you wanna do this? you’re kinda out of it,” you’re hard trying not to sound condescending, but you doubt he can read your tone that well right now anyway.

he smiles the most minuscule amount and looks away, but you see it. “yeah, im sure,” he sighs out gently before continuing, “i need to empty my brain,” he finishes by looking back to you with already tired eyes. you nod in understanding, relishing in knowing exactly how to fix his problem.

picking up the little glass bowl and a lighter, you hand both to him. they instantly look tiny in his hand and you’re not sure how he’s gonna actually do this. after realising you gave him green hit, you remind him to take a small hit. he just rolls his eyes sarcastically and scoffs, like of course he would, but you both know he would’ve blown a lung.

you watch him fumble with the glass, trying to get a good grip that covers the carb and wont burn his hand when he lights it

he eventually gets it and takes a little corner hit

a bit bigger than he was expecting tho so he does that thing where u cough the smoke out

just awful btw

u give him some water hes fine but boy does he love to complain

u just laugh at him and take ur own hit

breathing in deep, holding it for a second, and letting it go watching it escape into the open air

when he sees other people smoke it usually feels more rushed and energetic, like they were trying to ingest as much thc in as little time as possible

but you take your time. gathering everything and getting comfortable, settling into the ritual of the action. you take your time and let yourself feel it, you take your time and make sure he’s fully prepared before offering him anything

oh no he likes you !

he does end up hitting the bong but like the smallest baby hit so it doesn’t even count

he is sooo silly when hes high loves to laugh

he will def devolve into political rants if you let him, but you’re pretty good at making him laugh and redirecting him when hes like this

bc he smoked an indica this time his eyes are even more droopy than they were before and you can tell he’s getting tired

you clean up and follow him back inside amd he goes completely baby mode at the sight of kaya sleeping on the couch

petting her and pressing his face into her fur, going on and on about how soft she is

you laugh and sit on the other end of the big sectional covered in pillows and blankets

when hes done melting into kaya he sits down next to u with his arm around the back of the couch

real smooth .

it works 1000%

watching smth stupid like family guy (genuinely my fave show while high i will not elaborate)

chilling until he decides to go to bed at like 8:30

he convinces u to sleep on the couch bc ur both too high to drive and he would freak out at the thought of u in an uber rn

okay i have to be done i basically wrote a oneshot in the middle bye bye

[eddiemunsonw]

I'm kurtsworld96

Kurt Kunkle x fem!reader

Summary: You desperately need a car ride, but some bothersome asshole demands to join. Kurt notices your discomfort and well, he takes care of it.

CW/Disclaimer: Sexual harassment (not done by Kurt), murder, I guess there's some cuteness in there but it's layered with mixed feelings

Author's note: I wanted to try writing about Kurt, so this is my first (and possibly only) go at it :)

Words: 2600

All you needed was a ride. It didn’t really matter where to, as long as it was away from this place. Unfortunately, you had to give up an address. You added a random train station that was about a forty minute drive and left it at that. Soon enough, you got a notification that a Spree car was on his way. 

Driver: Kurt Kunkle. 

Car: White Toyota Prius

As if you knew one car from the other. You waited for about ten minutes which would’ve been fine if Chester, the very person you had wanted to get away from, hadn’t followed you.

“Why’d you leave, huh? We were having fun weren’t we?”

Even though you tried to ignore him, he kept asking questions similar to the first. Grabbed your arm, which you pulled out of his grip immediately. Stepped in front of you whenever you turned away, it was infuriating and also a little scary. Having him stand this close to you made you shiver and it wasn’t even cold outside. You wore a light purple summer dress with pastel sneakers and a black jacket on top that you had only put on to cover yourself from his hungry eyes. Even at two in the morning the air was still humid. 

Once the car arrived, you let go of a relieved sigh. The guy lowered his window and frowned as he spotted you both.

“Just you, right?” he asked you, turning his phone around to show you your own photo. You nodded. “Just me,” you said quickly. Chester shook his head and stopped forward.

“No, me as well. My silly girlfriend forgot to add me.” You quickly evaded the arm he tried to put around you.

“I’m not your girlfriend. Chester,” you hissed and you noticed that Kurt was listening to you attentively.

“Uhm, you’ll have to book one separately then,” Kurt told Chester. “You can go sit in the front.”

YOU NEVER LET SOMEONE SIT IN THE FRONT. WHAT IS THIS?!

Kurt’s eyes were upon you and you nodded hesitantly before walking over to the passenger side and getting in. Chester had sent a request by now which Kurt accepted and then told him to sit behind you.

“What’s wrong with the other side?”

“Someone vomited earlier today. You won’t smell it, but I wouldn’t want it to get on your clothes.”

“Alright, thanks dude. Hey, what’s up with all the cameras?”

You had noticed those too. You think you counted about six to eight cams, but it was dark so it was a little hard to be sure. Kurt smiled and pointed at his phone in front of him.

“I’m streaming for my fans! I’m kurtsworld96. You should follow me if you haven’t yet, there’s gonna be so much c-cool content!” His smile was a little reserved and almost shy. You smiled to yourself, relaxing a little now that you weren’t alone with Chester. However, once Kurt started to drive, you felt Chester’s hand glide up your leg from behind the chair, squeezing the fat of your thigh as he tried to pull your legs apart.

“Chester, stop it.”

LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GETTING A PRIVATE SHOW KUNKIE

Kurt gnawed on his lip and sighed.

“No PDA in my car please.”

“Oh come on, what are you, a virgin?”

Kurt rolled his eyes.

“As you guys know I’m definitely not a virgin. I have a lot of experience with the P in V. But even if you haven’t, it’s okay guys. No need to feel embarrassed, it’s 2023, no one needs to lose their virginity at fourteen by a hooker because they lost a bet anymore.”

It took you a minute to realize he was talking to his audience.

“Jeez dude,” Chester laughed, “that’s so fucking specific you have to be talking from experience. Sorry dude.”

Not wasting more time, his hand pushed up under your jacket to fondle your boob and you pushed off his hand.

“Stop it! Please can we stop? I want to get out. Please keep him inside though.”

“Sorry ma’am, if I cancel the trip or change the route I might lose my five star streak. I can’t afford losing my five star streak. Sorry.”

At least he sounded mildly apologetic. Chester pulled back slightly but you knew it was only a matter of time before he would get his hands on you again.

“What do you guys think of this beat? Pretty cool right?” Kurt asked amidst an awkward silence. Chester snorted.

“If you like trash.”

“It’s nice,” you countered. Kurt smiled at you quickly before his eyes focused on the road again.

“I made it myself!”

“These are nice,” Chester mumbled as he tried to grab your thighs again.

“Chester I swear to—”

DO SOMETHING ALREADY, THIS IS BORING

“There’s free water in the back, by the way,” Kurt announced matter-of-factly, as if he didn’t just interrupt you. You weren’t thirsty, at all, but once again Chester removed his hands which was a blessing.

“If you think I’ll pretend I like your beats because you offered me free water, you’re mistaken,” Chester shrugged as he grabbed a bottle. “You want some babe?”

“No.”

A frown deepened on your face when you realized you weren’t the only one who declined. Kurt however, remained a neutral expression.

“Weirdo,” Chester mumbled under his breath as he twisted the cap and took a sip.

“Wait… where are we?” you asked softly. Only now you realized that you were driving on a dirt road, not a building in sight.

“Oh, this is a quicker route. Lots of roadblocks recently.”

It was them when Chester started to have a coughing fit, one that seemed unstoppable. You didn’t bother to turn around, found any sound coming out of him extremely annoying as it was. Suddenly, he clawed at your shoulders as he gasped for air.

 SHE IS NOT GONNA LIKE YOU KILLING HER FRIEND KURTLE

“They’re not even friends,” Kurt mumbled. You barely heard Kurt’s comment as you turned around to tell Chester to cut it out. However once you laid eyes upon him you noticed he was grasping his neck, already turning a little blue. Blindly you reached for Kurt’s shoulder, who grabbed the steering wheel a little tighter.

“He’s not well, I think he’s choking! Kurt? Stop the car!” It seemed as if Kurt wasn’t even listening to you. He hummed along to the beat, drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and seemed to laugh softly after checking his phone. Your pleas fell on deaf ears. As much as you despised Chester, you didn’t exactly wish the guy dead or anything! 

Chester grasped Kurt’s shoulder but soon fell back against the backseat unconscious without Kurt even moving an inch.

“Should’ve listened when I said no PDA. Should’ve stopped touching her.” Kurt sighed, sounding a little tired even. You watched Kurt silently as you heard him thank a viewer for a tip they gave him.

“Hell yeah kittycat69, human rights. Justice for women.”

A repeating sound signaled he was receiving more tips.

“Thanks guys, means a lot. And hey, if you haven’t yet, subscribe to my youtube account as well! It’s under the same name, kurtsworld96. See you there!”

You slowly removed your gaze from Kurt and looked back at Chester. Was he… unconscious or…? You decided to ask, although you found yourself stumbling over the easiest words. 

“Did you— Did— Is he?!”

Kurt gave you a sideway glance.

“Dead? Yeah.”

“H-How?!” You glanced at the bottle next to Chester’s limp hand and slowly sat back in your seat, eyes on Kurt’s much too calm expression, considering he just murdered someone.

“The water… that’s why you said no?” 

Kurt nodded.

“Yup. You were nice,” he responded casually, adding even the tiniest hint of a smile.

“Do you always kill people who aren’t?!” you asked incredulously. Kurt shrugged indifferently, spared you a short glance again. He always averted his eyes when you met them. You were honestly wondering how you even managed to look him in the eye right now. A murderer. You were in the passenger seat of a murderer. It made you wonder why you hadn’t even bothered to try and open the door. Maybe because you felt frozen in place, or maybe because somehow, you didn’t feel threatened just yet. Very confusing, considering the dead body behind you.

“Sometimes. It’s good for the views.”

“You kill people… for views?! How do you even get away with that?”

Kurt said nothing. Just took a turn towards what seemed to become an even more off-road journey than you had already been on.

DO SOMETHING JEEZ

“I’m going to die too, huh?” you asked softly. Kurt stilled his drumming fingers for a moment, glanced at you again and you found his gaze lingering when you looked away first this time.

“That’s usually how it goes,” Kurt mumbled softly. He sighed to himself and opened a pack of gum with one hand.

“Want one?”

“No thanks.” After the water, you couldn’t risk it.

Kurt shrugged and popped a piece of gum in his own mouth and put the rest back into his pocket. Oh. So not everything in this car was murderous, huh.

MAKE HER CRY

“I don’t want to.”

“You don’t want to kill me?”

“No, I don’t want to make you cry. My fans want me to make you cry.”

“Oh.”

HOW ABOUT YOU FINISH WHAT HE STARTED?

“What are they saying now?” you asked, unable to hide your curiosity about what those twisted people were on about.

“They say I should finish what he started.”

When you automatically made yourself smaller and tried to move your body as far away from him as possible, he shook his head.

“I’m not going to, that’s insane.”

You choked out a dry laugh.

“That’s… interesting coming from someone who just murdered someone.”

“That’s justice! Hurting you wouldn’t be justice.”

Words failed to come to mind, so you tried to focus on how to get out of this situation alive. You didn’t think you really stood a chance, if you were honest. Kurt was unpredictable. Didn’t even blink when he offered Chester the water. There was no way to anticipate his next move.

You had no idea where you were when Kurt stopped the car and looked at you.

“Don’t move.”

YOU SHOULD HAVE PRETENDED TO LET HER GO AND MAKE HER RUN FOR HER LIFE. THAT’S A SHOW WE WANT TO SEE

Your eyes remained closed as you listened to Kurt dragging out Chester’s body and dumping it somewhere. There was no way you could stomach any of it and maybe, if your eyes were closed, you didn’t have to add another handful of traumatic images to your memory. For as long as you’d have said memory at least.

When Kurt joined you back in the car again he drove off right away. There was a prolonged moment of silence until Kurt turned on some other, calmer music.

WHEN ARE YOU GONNA KILL HER? I HAVE WORK TOMORROW

“I don’t know. I’m not sure if I want to but… I don’t know what else to do.”

MAKE HER YOUR BITCH

“Stop with the condescending talk, man, that’s so uncool. You gotta have respect if you want respect.”

YOU’RE A PUSSY. CAN’T EVEN GET LAID UNLESS ITS A HOOKER, LOSER

“I’M NOT— I’m not a loser.” Kurt said, breathing heavily. His hands shook a little and for whatever miraculous reason, you felt bad for him.

“Why do you even like this stuff if they’re all so mean?” you asked. You had tuned in on your phone on silent to see the comments. If Kurt thought you’d call for help, it surely didn’t bother him. Or maybe he happened to have incredible insight into human behavior and knew you weren’t going to call anyone. Maybe he knew you didn’t have much to lose, just like he did.

“I want to do something meaningful. You know, make a name for myself. I thought I’d do something like a day in the life of a Spree driver but everyone found it boring. And most people I get in my car are rude, so I thought, win-win, right? I kill them for justice, and I get views. But they’re still saying it’s boring. No one really watches my youtube videos though. I think most views are just me. I don’t want to buy views because I want to be authentic. T-The real Kurt. It took me a while to find him, you know? Kurt.”

YOU’RE DEPRESSING STOP THE LIVE

MAKES ME WANNA GAUGE MY EYES OUT AND STAB MY EARDRUMS

YOU’RE SO LAME LOSERBOY

(Y/N) just followed you

Kurt turned his head to the side, eyes wide with shock. This was the most emotion you’d seen on him aside from his earlier slip up.

“Y-You followed me?”

“Yeah. Sounds like you just need a little support,” you mumbled. You meant it. As twisted as everything he was doing was, you could sense that he wasn’t inherently bad. He wasn’t a psychopath, rather than a broken guy with no support system. Blame it on your savior complex, but the line you usually reserved for fictional characters, you just applied to him. I could fix him.

Not fix him entirely, probably. But maybe, maybe if you showed him kindness, he could see that there were more ways to achieve his goals than resort to horrible measures. It was difficult to explain and if you ever made it out of this car alive, you probably wouldn’t tell a soul. You just wanted to try.

“Thanks, that means a lot, Y/N! Will you watch my videos?”

“I’ll watch them all if I… well, survive.”

THIS IS THE WEIRDEST LIVE I’VE EVER BEEN ON

SO FUCKING DESPERATE

SHE’S JUST SAYING SHIT SO YOU DON’T KILL HER

KILL HER ALREADY

DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE IN LOOOOVE LOSERBOY

FUCK HER THEN KILL HER

OR KILL HER THEN FUCK HER

Kurt read through all the comments and bit his lip hard enough for it to bleed. You stayed silent as you read along, noticed the many insults he received and the twisted things people wanted him to do while they probably sat in the comfort of their own bedroom, unaffected. Suddenly, the screen went black.

kurtsworld96 ended the livestream

When you looked up, he was already looking at you with an expression you couldn’t quite place. He seemed to struggle with what to say, which seemed surprising with how talkative he seemed earlier, talking about his dreams.

“You stopped the live?” you asked softly, unsure what was going to happen now. Kurt nodded, averted his eyes again.

“Why?” you couldn’t help but ask.

“I think there are some things… that I don’t want everyone to see.”

Before you could ask what he meant, you felt his warm hand enclose yours. He was a little sweaty, even. You froze, but he made no move to do anything else. Hesitantly, you moved your hand around, making him flinch and nearly pull his hand away until he felt your hand gently squeeze his. There was no way this was normal, but then again, had you ever been normal? Kurt relaxed in his seat, his thumb moving to caress your hand in silence. You allowed yourself to take a good look at him. His dark brown hair, though it could use some styling, framed his face nicely after running his hand through it. His lips a rosy pink. Eyes a warm hazel.

There was something about him and for some reason, you wanted more.

[thebadjoe]

BAD JOE'S DRDT CH.2 CRIME SOLVING THEORY PART 6

Wow! It's been a long while, but it's finally here! DRDT Chapter 2 is back with part 2 starting since more than a week ago!

...Oh? What's that? There's some reveals that is damaging my theory and I should get to fixing? Awwww, man.... what a drag.... I am so doomed... nanchatte!

Anyways, hi! It's me, the dude who makes-overly-complex-and-ridiculously-long-theories-in-the-hopes-of-trying-to-solve-the-murder-case-that-not-many-people-agree-with-for-more-reasons-than-my-theory's-word-count. (Okay, the last part about the reasons is probably not true... yet!)

I am back yet again with some more updates regarding my theory.

NOOOOO!!! NOT AGAIN!!! PLEASE, I DON'T WANNA READ ANOTHER GODDAMN DICTIONARY LENGTH OF A THEORY POST!!!!

Woah! Calm down, imaginary self that is under the impression that some people were way too overwhelmed by my latest part of the theory post! You have nothing to worry about!

It would be silly of me to rewrite all of it again with some small changes. I will of course link up my part 5 later as source of reference, but really, all I'm gonna be doing here today is point out the newest problems with my theory ever since episode 12 and 13 and give my personal thoughts on those.

Also, to make sure that people hasn't forgotten what I've been all about since the beginning, I will do a short recap of my theory, displaying only what's most relevant to the murder case.

Besides, ain't no way I'm writing something this long ever again (except for maybe trying to solve the future chapters, but that's a matter for the far future).

With that said, I feel obliged to point out that this is spoilers for the fangan Danganronpa Despair Time Chapter 2, up until episode 13.

With that out of the way, let's get to it!

Hey look! I still remember how to use that show more button again, hurray! (I'm really sorry again to @1moreff-creator and everyone else who's been reading my very first posts last year that didn't have a show more button)

So, first things first, I'd like to apologize in advance because as amazing the episode 12 and 13 were, I will not be doing a reaction post of said episodes. I think I'm just too lazy to actually display my whole stream of consciousness through two whole videos and I think it is safe to say that practically all of us had a very similar reaction to those episodes.

What was the common reaction, you may ask? Well, it's simple, really... it went something like... OMG, THIS IS SO FUCKING HYPE! OMG!!! THAT WAS SO INSANE!!! THE DRAMA!!! DAVID BEING DAVID!!! THE LEVI REVEAL!!! THE FLASHBACK PART 2 SCENE!!! OMG, WHAT IS EDEN DOING?!! AREI IS HOLDING DAVID'S HANDS?! WE'RE FINALLY TALKING ABOUT THE MURDER METHODS?!?! OMG, SO GOOD!!!

...right? Yeah! I thought so! :D

Although I may not be showing proper and precise reactions to these episodes, if you're interested, I'd definitly recommend reading @venus-is-thinking 's, reactions on episode 12 and episode 13, @1moreff-creator 's reactions on episode 12 and episode 13 and @accirax 's reactions on episode 12 and episode 13. They're pretty good reads (and no, I'm not just saying this because they all believe that Eden is the culprit, I swear!).

And for those who are totally blind or new to my shenanigans, yes, I do believe that Eden is the culprit behind this murder case.

There is indeed a few problems that arose ever since the latest episodes, so to make sure that everyone is up to speed with what I'm gonna be talking about, I'm now going to be doing a short recap of the events, according to me.

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THE RECAP

DAY 1 : The day where everyone receives their mixed up secrets and explore the second floor. DAY 2 : The day where the attempted murder on Ace happened. DAY 3 : The day where Whit suggests David to chill for the evening in the relaxation room. DAY 4 : The day (morning) of the body discovery announcement.

Ever since Arei bullied Eden who then cried and exited the playground on DAY 2, that was what triggered Eden to decide to commit murder for the sake of escaping this hellish killing game. Knowing that her secret is that she kissed a girl, I deduced that she's probably trying to escape because she misses her beloved dearly.

So while she was off screen during most of that day, she spent time making plans for the murder set up and narrative, which is why she decided to share Arturo's secret (as seen in the flashback).

During the evening of DAY 2, Ace was working out in the gym, then he hears a conversation happening between David and Arei in the relax room. The conversation that Ace was quietly listening to did not happen in the evening of DAY 3, but rather the evening of DAY 2. Ace lied about when he was listening to that conversation.

At some point during the conversation or perhaps even after the conversation, Eden sneaks up on Ace and knocks him out with the turpentine that anyone could've gotten access to that day. Ace is Eden's chosen murder victim.

Sometime later, Eden eitheir used a letter or called out Arei's name to lure her into the playground or somewhere close to knock her unconscious with that very same turpentine. She then moves Arei's body into the relaxation room to lock her up inside because of the specific nighttime rules regarding that room.

Eden also brought old spares of clothing to cover Arei's body to make sure she doesn't get stained with starch from the water misting formula from the relaxation room.

During the night of DAY 2, she prepares the murder mechanism in the gym with some needed tools from the storage room and some wire that she took out from possibly a grandfather clock that she may have in her dorm. I deduced it as such because of Whit's description of everyone's dorms being suited to their needs.

I also deduced that there is actually a switch to turn on and off the fans, which is important since the attempted murder involved the fans. As Eden finished setting it up, as she was about to clear up with evidence, she heard someone using the elevator.

She hid in the dress up room, then Nico enters the second floor, looking for Ace to kill him. As Nico explores the gym, Teruko shortly enters the elevator to get to the second floor as well.

Teruko, looking for her spares, runs into Eden, who was hidden in the dress up room. After some talk, they heard a loud noise coming from the gym, which they both take a look inside.

Upon seeing this mess of a crime, Eden realised that her murder plan failed and that she needs to come up with a plan B really quick. So while she is taking time to "process this emotionally", Teruko was investigating.

Eden finally comes up with a plan B and figured that she needed to get her hands on the roll of tape ASAP. She managed to do so with a sleight of hand when Ace "suddenly wakes up", knocking Eden out of the way, distracting Teruko in the process.

Later that night, Eden proceeds with her plan B by making a murder mechanism in the playground. She also took the rope from the storage room. Once it's all properly set up, all's left was waiting for the relaxation to unlock at 8:00 AM on DAY 3.

In the morning of DAY 3, she retrieves Arei's unconscious body and proceeds with murdering Arei. Then, she proceeds to conceal the body somewhat behind the curtains in the relaxation room. She also grabs her glove, her monopad and the necessary materials in the dress up room for the next step of her plan.

She spends the rest of the morning to prepare her disguise trick. Then during lunchtime, Eden spends a short amount of time disguised as Arei to hide the actual time of death.

Once lunchtime is over, she returns to eitheir her or Arei's dorm to remove the disguise, spend time cleaning up, relax, power nap, etc. Then, during the evening of DAY 3, she spends time with Hu to fabricate her perfect alibi.

Later that evening, David explores the relaxation room. That's when he notices something wrong with the room and becomes the first person to discover Arei's dead body.

For some personal reasons, David brings the body back into the playground and hangs it by the swingset. Eitheir he or Eden (earlier in the morning) balls up the clothes and hides it in the closet of the dress-up room. Then, in the morning of DAY 4, David grabs everyone's attention to the fact that Arei is missing right before the secrets reveal. Then fast forward a bit, then we get the BDA of Arei

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And there ya go, that's my recap regarding how I believe the murder case happened. Pretty short, eh?

HELL NO!!! THAT WAS STILL PRETTY LONG!!! AHHHHH!!!!

Eh... I guess I couldn't really make it that shorter, my bad! If I tried to make it any shorter than that, it would've been extremely confusing.

Ah! Speaking of which, if you're confused in the sense that it feels like none of this should work at all, and there's a lot of contradictions and whatnot, then I would heavily recommend reading my actual theory post. I am not going to spend time refuting with people in the comments about points I've already pointed out in my previous post.

However, if there are things that are unclear to you, things that you do not understand and want to know what I'm talking about, please, feel free to ask away! I will help in any way I can.

With that out the way, I guess I can now start with pointing out the pr-

HAH! THERE IS A MAJOR ISSUE WITH YOUR THEORY!!! BASED ON EPISODE 12, THE MURDER COULD'VE ONLY HAPPENED IN THE MORNING OF DAY 4 BECAUSE OF THE BODY SWING! YOU'RE DONE FOR!

Ah... yeah... that! Of course! That's not a problem!

!!!

Let's talk about it first, shall we? :D

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AREI'S BODY SWING : CONFIRMED TIME OF DEATH???

I'd like to come clean with something, everyone. Ever since I came up with the theory that murder happened at a totally unexpected time, there was something that was constantly bothering me.

That's right, I was very well aware of the body swing happening during the BDA ever since the beginning.

HUH?! Then all this time, you wrote all of this despite knowing that?!

Correct! I'm really sorry about that, but please, understand that I had a very good reason for it. For you see... everytime I saw it, I was often under the impression that this was simply an eerie effect / animation, to give a more dramatic intensity towards the BDA, without meaning anything. I legit thought it could be a thing, I swear!

But despite all that... I couldn't help but feel uneasy about it. Deep down, I felt like that maybe there was an actual meaning to it, maybe it was an actual clue that I shouldn't disregard. But I figured that because of my theory beliefs, then it would be rather unlikely that it would be used as evidence.

But alas, I was wrong about that. The body swing plays a very important rule in determining what happened in this murder case. I cannot deny that fact, especially since Teruko brought it up, plain as day. Despite it seeming like it damages my theory, I'm thankful that the dev finally cleared that little doubt I had since then.

Then you admit it, the murder actually happened in the mor-

Oh, not so fast! Let's not jump to conclusions just yet, alright? Arei's body swinging by the swing set doesn't quite exactly prove that the murder occured during the morning of DAY 4. The body swing only proves that someone messed with the body by the swingset.

W-What?! That doesn't make sense! The murder clearly happened in the morning of DAY 4!

Nuh-uh, not quite. You believe it clearly happened in the morning because that's what the cast concluded on top of Charles pointing out that the culprit could've clearly fake the time of death by saving the fishes for later.

But unless we have decisive evidence that the murder happened in the morning, we can't be 100% sure that the murder happened in the morning of DAY 4.

From the looks of it, you just seem very desperate, if you ask me.

At first, when episode 12 released, I kind of was... up until I figured out a fairly logical solution to it. That's right! I have a way to explain who made the body swing and why.

You're not going to suggest that David did all of what he supposedly did in the evening of DAY 3, but instead in the morning of DAY 4, right?!

Nope! Not at all. Disregarding the facts that it wouldn't really make sense and that he'd have to move the body out of the relax room anyways before nighttime (because of the water misting rules), David actually has an alibi in the morning of DAY 4.

(As does Veronika too as she was with them in the cafeteria)

With all of these reasons mentioned above, as much as I initially wanted to make it somehow possible that David came back to the crime scene to mess with the body somehow, it just isn't possible.

So instead, someone else did it.

Then out with it already, you staller! Who is it?!

There is only one possible candidate that would make the most sense in that scenario : Eden. Eden is the person who messed with Arei's body in the morning of DAY 4.

WHHAAAAT?!?! WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?! THAT'S SO RISKY!

That's what I initially thought at first, not gonna lie. But then... something hit me : Eden doesn't have an alibi for the morning of DAY 4 eitheir.

I thought that there would be absolutely no need for Eden to come back to the crime scene a certain short amount of time before the BDA, so instead, I needed to reverse my way of thinking.

What could she possibly aim to do that would prompt her to come back to the crime scene last minute?

Considering the facts (based on my theory, mind you) that she killed Arei in the morning of DAY 3, hid the body somewhere in the relaxation room, built up an evening to night alibi with Hu and that David was the first person to discover it during the evening, there is a simple explanation behind it.

Arei's BDA was meant to be triggered much earlier than the morning of DAY 4. The original intent behind this whole scheme was to have the BDA trigger during the evening of DAY 3.

That doesn't make sense!

No, that's wrong! It does make a whole lot of sense. Think about it. Let's say you were a participant in this killing game and were in David's shoes during the evening of DAY 3... you come across a dead body in the relaxation, what would you do?

!!!

That's right, you wouldn't just mess with the body and move it somewhere else, now would you? Aside from freaking out, the most natural and human thing to do would be to gather help.

If it were anyone else than David who discovered the body in that exact scenario, they would cry out for help, tell everyone that they found Arei dead inside the relaxation room, which would then result in a body discovery announcement.

But what if the person who found the body were to personally ask for Hu's and Eden's help, wouldn't that ruin her plan since it wouldn't trigger the BDA?

There's an easy solution to that. Eden could've simply decided to find more people to share the news to meet up with the corpse. This wouldn't ruin her plan in the slightest.

Quite the opposite, actually. If the body were to be discovered and trigger the BDA during the evening, it would solidify her air tight alibi even further as she wouldn't have any possible timeframe to commit murder in the evening as she was spending time with her friend Hu.

Ugh, so what? It didn't really happen anyways because of David being David! That doesn't change anything!

Actually, it does change things considerably. If you put yourself in the culprit's perspective where the whole intent was to have the body discovery happen in the evening of DAY 3 and that during the whole night, nothing happened, you would certainly find that very strange.

The culprit would be clearly confused, yet really curious to find out what even happened.

Couldn't she have taken a look much later during the night?

Perhaps, but she figured it would've been pointless. The reason why is that if she thought that nobody found the body, then the body would've still remained hidden in the relaxation room which would then be currently locked away because of the water misting.

So instead of checking it out during the late night of DAY 3, Eden decided to investigate during the very early morning of DAY 4, sometime past 7:30 AM.

But the relaxation room is still locked up until 8:00 AM! Why not wait until then?

It's simple! She just wanted to be there a little bit in advance to make sure she can enter the room as early as possible. And so... while she is waiting for the relaxation room to unlock, she probably figured that she should take a look around the other rooms, why not?

And thus, that leads to Eden finding the body being hung by the swingset, alongside fishes scattered around the floor for some reason.

To reconfirm, I still believe that David is the first person who discovered Arei's dead body in the relaxation room and that he's responsible for hanging her body alongside placing those fishes by the playground.

Okay, Eden discovers that the body has been moved to the playground? What now? Everything's already in place, so what could she possibly do with the dead body?

Well, since the BDA was not triggered on the evening of DAY 3, she figured that she may as well put Arei's monopad back into the corpse's pockets.

But what about her missing glove? Why didn't she return that as well if she wanted to return her monopad?

That's a good point, that's for sure. But there are two easy fixes to this counter argument. First one being that she simply forgot about the gloves. No one's really perfect, after all. She was so concerned about the body not being discovered yet that this completly slipped her mind.

The second fix would be that it would've been way too risky to try to retrieve the glove. Maybe initially, Eden, after she removed her disguise, she placed the clothes and the glove back into Arei's dorm. So if she wanted to retrieve the glove, she'd have to return to Arei's room, unlocking it with a monopad that isn't her own.

Would she really risk that again after making this much progress without getting caught so far? Like imagine if she tried to take that risk one last time only to get caught, that would be quite the devastating result, wouldn't it?

Ok, fine. Nevermind the gloves. Is that all she did?

Pretty much, yeah. She returned the monopad back into her pockets, which moved the body somewhat.

...

Well, it's also possible that she tripped and moved the body even more by accident. Or perhaps she felt like she was in such a hurry to avoid getting found out that she accidently bumped into Arei's dead body.

...Are you kidding me? There's no way that's gonna be enough to move the body for this long!

Well... maybe her being there at exactly 7:30 AM is not the exact time. She could've been there a couple minutes before 8:00 AM, which could make this possible.

But that's ridiculous! There's no way Eden is strong enough to make the body swing that way. To make the body swing for a good amount of time, she'd need more than just accidently bumping into the body! It needs considerable force.

And I'll stop you there. If you've read my last theory post, you should know by now that I'm a firm believer that because it's a work of fiction, anything that seems unlikely can become possible.

The main thing we should take from Arei's body swinging during the BDA is that at some point in time during the morning, someone messed with the body, proving that someone was there during the morning of DAY 4.

And there you go, that's my whole explanation as to how Arei's body was swinging during the BDA that doesn't necessarily mean that the murder occured during that exact morning.

If you're not quite convinced yet, there is a certain part of my theory that begins to make a lot more logical sense with this solution in mind. Take a look at this!

Thanks to the solution I suggested, these two lines become a lot more fitting to my updated theory. Here's why!

If Eden were to explore and find the body hanging by the swing set during the morning of DAY 4, she would know that at least 1 person found the body, but not who exactly.

Because of Whit's silly comment, Eden immediatly thought of the body in the playground and jumped to the worst conclusion : Whit is the person who found the body first.

So if they were to open the door to the playground, the BDA would not trigger since Eden is the culprit. So in a moment of panic, Eden uttered : "Teruko, wait--".

It is still pretty much the same as what I had in mind according to the previous part of my theory post, except that it works a whole lot better now that Eden personally saw the actual state of the dead body in the morning of DAY 4.

So there you have it. This seemingly major problem for my theory actually turned out to be very beneficial for my theory after all! Ah, the joys of making logical sounding deductions! My theory should be saf-

HAH! YOU THINK YOUR THEORY IS SAFE FROM HARM YET?! WRONG!!!! IN EPISODE 13, THEY ACTUALLY SHOWED HOW THE MURDER MECHANISM WORKED! NOT ONLY IS EDEN TOO WEAK TO OPERATE IT, BUT THEY PUT FISH WATER INSIDE THOSE JUGS! SINCE THEY REVEALED THAT MURDER METHOD, IT HAS TO BE THE SOLUTION. YOUR THEORY IS RUINED! GOOD DAY SIR!

Oh, you mean this?

Oh no, this murder mechanism is different from mine and this one requires a certain amount of strength that Eden possibly doesn't have! And the fishes! Since they brought it up, then there's no way my theory can work! Whatever shall I do??? It's joever.... just kidding!

I don't mean to alarm you guys, but the current proposed murder mechanism idea actually has flaws. Let's talk some more about the murder mechanism in the playground, shall we? :)

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TERUKO'S CURRENT MURDER MECHANISM IDEA : RIGHT OR WRONG???

Before I get into it, I'd like to remind everyone that just because we've been shown how the murder may have been done for the first time means that's how it actually happened. Let's not forget that they spent so much time arguing and discussing about the secrets that they barely ever talked about the murder case in itself.

So if anything, episode 13 is practically just them beginning their actual work! Mistakes are bound to happen. We shouldn't jump to conclusions just yet. Besides, there is actually a problem with this murder mechanism.

I'll present it to you in pictures to show you what I'm talking about.

The taped up wrists. This was practically the decisive proof that this wasn't a suicide nor could it have been an assisted suicide. So now that they've introduced a murder mechanism in an actual episode... what's actually the point of the taped wrists in that scenario?

If the culprit used exactly this kind of murder mechanism, then there would be absolutely no need to tape up her wrists together.

Maybe it was to stop Arei from trying to struggle?

Nope. If that was the case, we would've seen much more signs of struggle coming from Arei. There may be scuffs on the ground, but there's absolutely no other form of injury on Arei aside from her broken neck.

Well, I saw a theory where the accomplice was Levi and he could've easily overpower her!

(I believe that was something that @1moreff-creator theorized, if I recall? At least, that was the theory pre part 2)

It used to be borderline possible, but not this time anymore! Thanks to the first two episodes of part 2 of chapter 2, it seems extremely unlikely that Levi wanted to work with the culprit as an accomplice.

Not only because of what we find out regarding his secret, what kind of character he is, but also because of something he said in episode 12.

I don't know about you, but this doesn't look like something an accomplice would say at all, right? If the culprit was someone who didn't have an alibi in the evening, it would be a different story, but the most fitting theory for having Levi work as an accomplice is to work for Eden, who happens to have an alibi in the evening as you already know.

So since we gotta take Levi out of the equation, then we don't really have much other possible candidates who could've easily overpower Arei to the point where taping up her wrists would've helped better on that regard.

Therefore, the most logical solution would be that Arei was knocked unconscious with the turpentine. But since that's the most likely scenario, then what's up with the taped wrists?

If the taped wrists weren't used to prevent any remote chance for Arei to try to get out of this situation, then it must've been used as part of the murder mechanism.

But since the murder mechanism as shown by Teruko doesn't explain the taped up wrists whatsoever, then this becomes a discrepancy. Therefore, that can't be quite the correct answer to solving the how this murder mechanism works.

And since this murder mechanism idea is flawed, it also means that there's no guarantee that the jugs contained fish water inside, they could've simply gathered water somewhere else or perhaps there jugs were already filled with clean water to begin with.

Because this murder mechanism idea is flawed, there's no guarantee that the culprit used this method which required some unknown amount of strength, but an amount of strength regardless (unless the author wants to pass it off as anyone could've done it since it's easier to do it by spinning it, I'm not sure).

Because of that flaw, my theory isn't affected by the murder mechanism idea that Teruko suggested since there is no guarantee that this is the correct answer.

So yeah, there's no problem whatsoever! Also, as far as I'm aware, since the release of the latest episodes, I have a very logically sound reason to explain the taped up wrists as shown in part 5 of my theory.

To give you a small reminder, it was for something like this!

(Whole murder mechanism not properly shown in the drawing because I'm lazy as heck, but just take a close attention to the arms)

By having Arei's arms go between the pillars of the seasaw, you can make it so that she can't get out of it by taping her wrists together, which plays an important role in the murder mechanism. Not going to elaborate further, if you want to know more, you gotta read the big post right there!

And there you have it! Those were the two main concerns that could've negatively affect my theory, but fortunately for me, it doesn't. In fact, it supports it even more than before.

Especially regarding the David / Arei conversation flashback (shown from David's memory's perspective). This conversation told us a lot more between these two, do you know what that means?

That's right! It means that Ace is full of shit! There's no way he didn't hear anything else. The only way he could've not hear anything else is if he gets snuck up from behind and gets knocked out with the turpentine, but it could've easily simply been Ace witholding that information to make David look more suspicious.

Therefore, if he lied about this, he could've also easily lied about when he actually overheard that conversation for his own selfish gains!

There's also a few couple other points that could further support my theory, but I don't feel like going over every single little detail as of now. I mainly wanted to solve these two issues and nothing else.

So, DRDTers, I need to ask you the following : Do you still believe that I am delusional with this overly complex theory of mine? :)

Thanks for reading another one of my big posts, as usual!

Edit : Go read the finale of my theory next, it's worth it!

[oh-no-its-bird]

Ok so trying to find my old alien stage x starwars crossover post bc someone asked to see it, but tumblr is acting up again and wont fucking let me find it, BUT I have it saved in my notesapp where I originally wrote it (get fucked tumblr) so were just gonna repost it here!

So yeah, no real context needed Alien Stage x Starwars crossover ft. Till bc he is my favorite.

(this was all written around round 5's release, if I remember correctly)

All I'm saying is that if Palpatine tried that "yes, strike me down, embrace the darkness, let it consume you . . ." shit on Till, Till would go *fuck you old man I'll take that bet* and beat him to death w no regrets then probably write a song about it later

Is your crush since childhood (presumed) dead?? Your childhood friend / rival of sorts confessed his love for you with a desperate, (unwanted) kiss then died at your feet to make sure you survived????

New therapy idea just dropped: beating an old man to death !! Reviews are in and they say it's HIGHLY effective !!!

Who would be funniest for Till to bludgeon to death w a guitar actually? Maul or Ventress are the most likley for him to not only just find out in the wild but in a situation where he can both actually interact w him without getting shot instantly by like, guards nearby and also be, yk, motivated to take that shot by them committing obvious crimes he may take issue with

Palpatine is the most obviously funny one and would solve a lot of problems.

I feel like Dooku would be the out of pocket one actually, a lot of fics leave him either alive or vuagley off screen when it comes to fucking shit up in clone wars era.

I want people to recognize Till actually. I want alien stage to be a morbid fascination for a good portion of the galaxy, maybe the usual do gooders like jedi can't interfere bc its technically legal in the specific corner of the galaxy its hosted in. Something something politics something something the senate doesn't want them to interfere idk. Its in the outer rim I don't think they touch things there all too much anyways

Anyways: Till beats Count Dooku to death with a guitar on live holo and the very first immediate reaction for a chunk of the galaxy is just. Is that. The pop star? I. Is that that one alien stage death game pop star???

Like imagine if you were just some guy living ur life and a pretty ugly looking war is looming overhead but you're doing your best to keep your head down, stay safe, all that. And then you go on twitter and everyone is posting videos of Hannah Montana beating Vladamir Putin to death live on stage with her microphone

And you're like "what the actual fuck" and your friend is like "does this mean the war is off now" and you don't KNOW but damn if all these new Hannah Montana edits everyone is dropping don't go hard as fuck

Till and Anakin would either get along concerningly well or fucking despise eachither. Like it's on sight.

Pick your poison! Is this fics obligatory "small silly reason why Anakin is too busy to be tempted into child murder by Palpatine";

A) he's an alien stage enthusiast and cant miss out on its live streams to meet w the old man sorry Palpatine

Or B) he's too busy programming little droids to start screaming every time Till opens his mouth to speak

"I don't know if Till would actually kill someone " / "Ok but Till is like just a dude. Not even a particularly strong or skilled one. He wouldn't last 2 seconds against a sith or literally anyone with actual training to fight."

Ok counter argument: it'd be funny. Now get back in the basement. I'm trying to cheer on my favorite space pop king as he beats an old man to death

fun scene where he sits in a cantina somewhere, clutching a drink as his own voice and Ivan's play over the radio as they sing Cure. His heart beating faster and faster in his ears till it hits the part where Ivan died and he just hunches in on himself, like if he curls tight enough he can shield the voices from reaching his ears.

He's so fucking depressed and visibly out of it in all the recent videos, I feel like he needs to find something to respark that rage. (Obligator *fuck I can't wait for Luka to try and get a rise out of him in the next round) maybe in this fic that spark is committing violence against the evil elderly who knows

Mmmmm Till sleep walking through the refugee camp, his eyes downcast and shoulders slumped and defeated as he blends in with the crowds of people who've escaped their own situations. Nothing special to see here, nothing special at all. His force presence is quiet and weighed down, hardly even visible if you aren't looking.

He's dissosiating like 80% of the time and that's what let's him get the jump on Dooku, who's probably there to poke at Obi-Wan and was NOT expecting the guitar to the back of his head.

Instant kill !!!! The clones are all pointing making pog faces everyone cheers the galaxy is saved etc. Etc.

[smallandalmosthonest]

i think part of why last night’s ep felt so weird is because it, to me at least, felt like it came way too late in the season.

excluding the breakup storyline*, and the pregnancy reveal**, these just felt like earlier beats:

athena, flash rob, and the probie(s) had this happened in like, the fourth episode, it would make a lot of sense that athena was injured (as she was JUST in a plane crash), and the seeds of 'flash rob' as a villain could have been planted early, giving athena an adversary. she could have spent half the season showing up in the aftermath of these mass robberies, frustrated that she's being outpaced by some twitch streaming jackass kid! this could have been compounded by the introduction of sparky, who athena's gut says not to trust but who, on paper, is a good kid. imagine if we had weeks of time to see athena "lose" to flash rob while building some degree of trust/warring with her instincts about sparky. think of how satisfying the sting would have been if we'd been waiting for athena to finally be one step ahead of flashy robert! think of how much more impactful sparky shooting an innocent woman in front of her child would be if we'd spent weeks with that character, and had seen athena trying to trust him! this also makes athena's decision to take on more probies a lot weightier: if athena was essentially training/mentoring this kid for months, how does she feel that he nearly killed someone because he lost his temper? then after the hiatus we could explore tonal shifts with athena having a string of new probies, or whatever. but do you see what i mean about the introduction of these things coming the ep before the 8a finale being... a bit late?

brad and gerrard show of hands, does anyone still give a fuck about these two? having gerrard take the hotshots job tied things up in a neat little bow and allowed us to solidly move on from these characters. this felt like a bizarre time to bring them back. we just found out maddie and chimney are accidentally pregnant again! bucktommy just broke up! eddie just shaved his moustache! hen's son nearly died and she only recently got her daughter back! why are we talking about these unlikable old white guys?! anyway. i think they should not have been revisited at all, except maybe to come back lola and norman style, way down the line, so the audience looks back like "oh yeah, those two... i'd almost forgotten about them!" BUT we live in an unjust world. so in that case, i think the issue with brad and gerrard is that they're too tonally different from the rest of the show. gerrard made sense in the begins episodes, when he was a pigheaded bigot representative of the old boys club institution and a foil to the new 118 that we know and love, and brad made sense in the three-part opening because he was a silly one-off character meant to add levity -- except we had levity because gerrard was written and played as a cartoon evil boss instead of a realistically awful person. so now 911 has two old white dudes who are at best good for a chuckle and at worst actively evil. and now gerrard is crying bc he loves his tv land job so much and brad is using start power and money to talk the brass into sanctioning his stalking of bobby nash. and we haven't seen these characters in ages and frankly, we don't care about them. my opinion is that we either need Way Less (end it with that shot of gerrard sipping his latte with his feet up or w/e) or, tragically, Way More. having them be a consistent problem that plagues the 118 would at least allow time for these characters to settle into a tone that sits well within the rest of the show.

it'll be interesting to see how this all pans out, pacing-wise, when we can look at this season in its totality next summer, and when rewatching in one fell swoop without a week between each episode. but at this moment, i don't think i'm alone in thinking that episode was just... skippable? isolated from the events that immediately preceded it? imo 8x07 added indelibly to the current state of s8 episodes feeling siloed within themselves with quick storylines that are introduced and then wrapped up within forty-some minutes.

*this had to happen a) after bucktommy had been together for a respectable amount of time onscreen and b) immediately after the breakup to prevent buck from looking like a crazy person, so i think this was perfectly place in the timeline

**had no material impact on the story thus far, we didn’t even see buck or chim struggling to keep it a secret. we didn’t even see chimney around the firefam, is that his strategy so he doesn’t spill the beans?? to just hide in the bunk room or something??? rip chimney han you would have loved playing keep away with buck’s phone and watching tmz videos of Bobby threatening to beat up a guy

[meanbossart]

Another ask compilation!

There already is some! If you search up "orin the red" in my blog there's some art to be found of them together (after you scroll by all the essay length replies to asks I've gotten about her 🤦) and I definitely want to draw more of it in the future.

(This ask is referring to mine and @barbatusart comics, not my silly BG3 stuff, just in case anyone gets confused) ALAS, Sad Sack and Sortie seem to be what me and Nick have taken to calling part of the Unpublishable Triad: It's Gay, It's Violent, and it's too long. The point is that publishers don't want anything to do with it. We've actually gotten really close once, signed a contract and everything, but then the place gained some traction and decided they didn't want us in their repertoire anymore.

We've considered self-publishing again and again, but unfortunately we don't really have the financial means for something like that. We hope as we expand and entertain slightly less erm outrageous stories that we will come across some new opportunities.

(more asks below the cut)

AGREED, I don't think there's much of a way for me to both keep him in character AND keep her alive (since she has such a problem with Shadowheart) but if Shadowheart hadn't been mega racist I bet Lae'zel and DU drow would have had a lot of funny conflict (he would have relentlessly looked down on her blind faith) broken up with their mutual love for senseless violence. Probably at least 1 rage fuck in there before Astarion came peacocking in.

Thank you!

Not really, I don't really like dividing my attention with other things when I draw, not to mention that I do a lot of picking things up and putting them down again which doesn't seem very apt for art-streaming.

THANK YOU SO MUCH DUDE! I Nick is the sole writer behind the original series and of 95% of Sortie (I butt in there here and there because I'm also a huge Sal fan lol) so all the dope semiotics and symbolism are thanks to him and his big, beautiful brain. I'm beyond lucky to have found someone so talented to work with.

Thank you so much again for your patronage and support, I'm glad you have been enjoying the rest of our work!!!

THANK YOU!!! I draw a lot of inspiration from western comics, and I'm a big fan of the art of Sean Murphy and Jason Shawn Alexander. I was also reading JtHM and Hellsing in middle school which I'm sure caused some kind of irreversible damage to my psyche.

LOL, IT'S AN HONOR TO BE THE FREAK OF THE FANDOM, and it's a joy to hear that I've given you and your friends some good laughs. Thank you!

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I have a ton of other sweet messages that I can't reply to individually without risking turning this into a LOOK-AT-ME fest, but as always thank you so much to everyone who decides to drop by with a nice word of encouragement, support, or just to let me know that they enjoy my characterizations, I very much appreciate it!

[mcytshipsandmore]

I am the kaboodle and Hannah rose anon and Im back ( btw silly thing, their duo name is roseboodle i think? ) AND WE'RE SO FUCKING BACK HELLLOOOOOOO????? I SAW SNIPPETS OF KABS LATEST STREAMS OH MY GODDDDDD. IM WINNINGGG. I think it's so interesting that Kaboodle wants to trust Hannah after everything happened thus far, and yet she can't open her heart after Reddoon's betrayal, and her team falling apart. She wants to but after everything? letting her guard down is not an option. Hannah always having Kaboodle's back and willing to kill someone just to avenge Kab like ☹☹ agahsha. LIKE GOD DUDE DUDE. I GUESS I have to watch the vods now sighhghgh ( also as always you can interpret it however you like guys ) ( also ykw I guess I'll be a blog regular now I guess ! so more analysis of my fav guys on this funny blog ^_^. also yes I'm the same guy that did the one team pe rambling/analysis thing ) - is it alr to take this sign off? ❣, have a yaoyuriful week mods !

AWWWW SUCH A COOL DUO

-🍫

[deadn30n]

happy early 2024 !

posted a bit early as i'll be going to bed relatively soon, but i wanted to say something to usher in the new year!

as some of you know, i've been in the RPC for a very long time, but took a well needed hiatus a year or so back. i only recently returned mid-November && have not regretted that decision for a second. ♥ it's only been a month and a half, but it's been the best month and a half i've ever spent on this site. i admit i was nervous to return for a variety of reason ( mostly avoiding some rather negative people i originally split from this site to escape from ) but i've come to find that this space space i've built has fostered so much positivity for me, and i'm very grateful for that. i'm grateful for all the new friends i've made, all the connections i've forged, the writing i've done, and the plots i've gotten to explore! && as the new year approaches, i'm walking it into with quite a few new aspirations and hopes. i'm really, really thankful to everyone who's given me the time and chance to reach out and make a connection. to the people who've talked to me and told me they're excited for the release of my book, for my return to the vtubing community, for the times we play games together and just goof off.

i hope you know how much you all mean to me. i wish i could tag EVERYONE in this post but tumblr would kick my ass, but just know that i'm truly and honestly grateful and honored to have met the people that i have and look forward to talking more with all of you and getting to know you better. there are a few people i want to single out to shower with love who've supported me or have even known me from the LAST TIME i was on the site lmao

@goldenfists : you should already know you'd be the first on my list Joo Joo Bean. my beloved. we've known each other for what... 3 years now? roughly that, give or take, but you have no idea how much you really mean to me. from the moment we met i knew you were someone i wanted to keep in my circle. i adored you and still do; you've seen the changes i've gone through, the growth i've made, and supported every positive decision i've made. even when i finally built my first oc, and your first incentive was to foster a relationship between sett and eden and letting me know that you LOVED my creatives when i was so scared to take that first dive into making an oc. i love you so much dude. ;_; i'll never forget how you teased me on stream about my pronunciation of your name but then insisted i kept pronouncing it like that because you thought it was cute. i wish you knew just how much you mean to me, because words aren't enough to justify my feelings toward you. i love you Joo Joo Bean, i love you to the moon and back, and i can't wait to see what 2024 has in store for you and i, and our little blorbos @empyreous : ELLE!!!11 ELLE!!!!1 MY BELOVED PARTNER IN CRIME ON LEAGUE!!!! we haven't known each other for very long but god have i LOVED writing with you and goofing off in my favourite games. you've given me a brand new love for league and you're so fucking talented with your ocs and your writing that i'm just chomping at the bit for us to keep going. i literally can't wait to see what we end up developing for these silly little dudes and it makes me so very happy to have you in my corner. i wish you only the best in the world and i'm certain 2024 will give us so many more funny memories to cherish. save me eboi.... eboi save me....

@seeksmoon / @seekslight : softie you loveable little shit. you boyfriend stealing monster ( affectionate ). actually, if i was gonna share my boyfriend with anyone, it'd gladly be you. BUT JOKES ASIDE i'm really delighted we met and hit it off as well as we did. the way you write both alune and lux have me going GRRRRR BARK BARK BARK and i adore the dynamics we've started to built between yonealune and ezlux. we haven't had nearly enough time to hang out yet and that's a fucking CRIME if you ask me. i'm sure come 2024 though we'll have plenty of time to be a couple of goobers and mess around in league here on tumblr. you're such a sweetheart and even my bf talks so positively of you, and anyone that can make him happy makes ME happy. i hope you know you won't get rid of him and i so easily ♥ we enjoy hanging out with you, and we hope you do too :>

@ayahimes : astrid u ain't getting away from me i'm rapidly approaching ur location at mach 10. LFKDJASLKJDF i'm teasing i'm teasing but MAN i've had so much fun playing weague of wegends with you ( and looking forward to when we start playing ffxiv too ) but you're such a sweetheart man. a good energy, positive presence that i love being around ;v; i hope we'll get to play more in the future and chat more and get to know each other!! ♥♥♥

@mellodiies : misha all i'm gonna say is this year... you will be boiled.... ( this ask forever lives rent free in my head and i'm never going to stop laughing at this i hope you know ) ok but in all seriousness i'm so glad i worked up the courage to follow your blog because it's been a bucket of laughs and also seeing one of my childhood faves being doted over so lovingly just makes me so!!!!!!!!!!! i hope this year we'll be able to write ( and even if we don't i'm also content just observing your shenanigans bc they always brighten my day ). thank you for filling my dash with the little pep in my day that i need, you're a fucking goober and i adore you for it

@vulpesse : hi bunnie!! we never really got much of a chance to chat before ( we did get to write a bit in the past though, which i enjoyed! ) but i want you to know that you are one of my biggest inspirations on this site and i was so goddamn happy when i found you again that i hit the follow button so fast i think i broke my finger LMAO but seriously.... you're great. you have such a wonderful energy about you and you're so unbelievably talented with an indomitable spirit. i love seeing your posts every day, and i'm glad to share this same space as you! ♥ please never change, you truly are such a bright light in an otherwise murky world

@heartate : plum u know i couldn't forget about my favourite edgy thot. i fuckin love u dude. it's crazy to think we've known each other for like what? 10 years? like christ. and even though those first few years weren't filled with the happiest of memories, it's been my honor to be able to make amends with you. i always appreciated you for approaching me with that heartfelt apology. i never resented you, and even less so now that i knew the kind of awful situation you were put through back then. you didn't deserve the pain and abuse you went through, and i'm glad you're finally able to break free and grow. flourish and fill the world with your light, because you're a good person and i firmly stick by that notion. no matter what happened between us in the past, you've grown and i've adored watching it. i only hope you'll be able to continue to grow and enjoy the newfound freedom you have, and i am glad to be able to be by your side through it ♥ i'll always have your back miss rina, you can count on that :>

&& to some other lovelies who've made my time pleasant here; @lightshielded / @yoakkemae / @chiheru / @fairesky / @darkflyers / @attroxx / @mythcaels / @knifvd / @killerhubby / @erabundus / @mundmutter / @goddessrisen / @inhumann / @penddraig / @hiisfire / @raytm / @elicertis / @liightbringr / @un1awful / @vonerde / @gunrising / @cyneris / @trattcria / @cmdrace / @lovehungered / @trattcria / @pearlcure / @dnangelic / @starsenna / @nulltune / @toxichem / @longerhuman / @volonata / @misreputed / @ferinehuntress / @florspinae / @inufangs / @bishonenprince

&& to all of my lovely followers too! ♥ may your new year be filled with all the joy and love you deserve. may the new year treat you kindly and give you solace when you need it most. may the new year bless you with every bit of happiness you deserve c:

[pucksandpitlanes]

I’m sorry but anyone who is upset about lando’s stream the other day obviously doesn’t have brothers or have never been around dudes close to his age like my brothers and my bf are some of the most unhinged ppl when it comes to making stupid sexual jokes. Like obviously none has any sense of humour like me personally I found that stream to be fucking hilarious idk why people are making this such a big deal like they’ve never heard a guy make silly jokes with their mates so crazy